#so. so much school related stuff that caused me frustration

[totheblood]

begging for rain. (two)

󠁐# TWO; the more you break

PAIRING: ex!ellie williams x nextdoorneighbor!reader

SUMMARY: moving to a new town can be tough, especially as you are trying to hold everything in your life together. after you meet ellie, your life completely changes, but for the better? well that's still up in the air

WARNINGS: mentions of death, grief, related subjects; cursing, mentions of drinking/drugs, mentions of s*x,

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

A/N :new chapter yay!! okay so like i'm setting a lot of stuff up and i know that so annoying and frustrating but i really need to paint a picture of dynamics so i hope u enjoy. AI AUDIOS AT THE END ! please please please like and reblog/reply/send asks, comments, the whole nine yards… it is so appreciated!

READ CHAPTER ONE HERE!!

TWO YEARS AGO

The first day of school went okay.

Inside the hallways, students pushed past each other, sweaty bodies mixing and mingling into a tangled mess. Blue lockers were lined up against the walls, many of them open as students shoved heavy textbooks inside them from their backpacks. 

Ellie pushed past them like she was used to it, a ratty leather backpack hanging off her shoulder. Occasionally, she would look behind her to see if you were still following her. You always were. 

You didn’t quite know where you were going. You knew your locker number was tucked deep inside your bag and whenever Ellie stopped at her locker was when you were going to pull it out and ask her to show you where it is. However, you were now feeling like you were slightly stalking Ellie and there was some truth to her words. When Ellie stopped at her locker, Locker 2094, she looked at you for only a moment before she was undoing the built-in lock. 

“You know you can’t follow me all day,” she said dryly, lock clicking open and her locker door almost hitting you in the face. You decided it was time for you to get your locker number, pulling your bag to the front and unzipping the front pocket where your locker number and lock combination was written on a crumpled-up pink post-it note. 

“I’m not following you, Ellie,” You rolled your eyes, unraveling the post-it note, “I was just waiting for a good time to find this.”

“And what is that?” She gave you a weird look and shoved a textbook in her locker, then another. 

“My locker number,” You said simply, looking at the number and chuckling to yourself.

“What’s so funny?” She wasn’t looking at you anymore, just fishing around in her bag for anything she may have had to put in her locker. 

“This is my locker,” You patted the one right next to Ellie’s, right where you were standing to the left of her, “Locker 2093.”

Ellie chuckled dryly again, closing her locker and leaning up against it as she watched you struggle to put your lock combination in, “You’ve taken this stalker thing too far.”

With a click, it popped open, empty and barren. You opened your bag and shoved the one textbook you had inside your locker, a smile planted on your face, “Yes, I’ve just been so obsessed with you since I saw you for the first time yesterday that I called the school district and got my locker to be next to yours.”

“Aha! So you admit it!” Ellie laughed, picking at her fingernails as she looked around the hallways, looking for familiar faces. A group of them walked up, all laughing and talking with each other as they circled Ellie around your locker. 

“Hey, El,” a girl said, causing you to look up at her. She was pretty, too pretty. She had her black hair tied up in a ponytail, her skin was olive and slightly tanned, and she had some sun spots scattered across her face, pooling in a center near her nose. Next to her was a slightly taller and much paler girl with black hair cut right above her shoulder, the jagged and uneven edges indicating she cut it herself. Behind them, a much taller guy, with longer black hair and a kind face stood. He smiled at you, and you offered him a kind smile back. Be nice, you cursed, you’re here to make friends, you reminded yourself.

“Hey Dina,” Ellie smirked, leaning back against her locker and looking at the group, “I see your hair is already growing back, Cat,” Ellie reached forward to play with the edges of Cat’s hair before she swatted Ellie’s hands away from her and scoffed.

“You fucked up my hair and you know that,” Her tone of voice was playful at most, evidenced by the wide grin on her face. She was insanely pretty even with her hair all fucked up. You didn’t know why but it made your stomach churn. “Are you going to introduce us to your new friend, Ellie?”

Your eyes widened and darted to Ellie and then to the group, hoping embarrassment wasn’t written all over your face. 

“This is Y/n,” Ellie smiled at you, jumping slightly when you slammed your locker shut, “She’s my new neighbor and stalker.”

“Hey!” You rolled your eyes, a smile still on your face, “I am her neighbor, but I’m not a stalker.”

“Ellie’s just too full of herself. Ignore her,” The girl in the ponytail stepped a little closer and extended a hand, “I’m Dina.”

You shook her hand, mumbling a ‘nice to meet you’ before shifting awkwardly and retracting your hand. The guy in the back raised his hand slightly and smiled at you, “I’m Jesse.” 

“Nice to meet you, Jesse,” you then looked at the last girl waiting for her to introduce herself. When she didn’t speak, you took it upon yourself to ask, “And sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“It’s Cat,” she responded flatly. Her tone was a little icy, but you weren’t sure if you were just feeling insecure or she was actually trying to snub you. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” a nervous breathy laugh fell from your lips and you tightened your grip on your backpack strings, “It sucks moving senior year so I’m glad to make some new friends.”

“Why did you move senior year?” Cat spoke up finally, “You’re not like a psycho bitch that got kicked out of her last school?” 

“Cat!”

“C’mon, Cat!” Dina and Ellie chimed in at the same time in your defense. You were admittedly thrown off by the comment but, yet again, you made an excuse for her. Maybe she was just curious. Or maybe she wanted to protect herself and her friends. 

“What? I want to know,” she defended herself. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you laughed, giving her a smile. Be nice, your head rang once again. “It’s a valid question. But, no, uh, my dad died and we couldn’t afford to live where we were living anymore.”

Her smug smile fell, and instead, it was laced with empathy or more importantly pity. You hated it. Your newfound ability to ruin the moment. A moment that was supposed to be sweet. A fresh start. Already, you had clouded the new with your past.

“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to force you to say that or anything,” Cat apologized and it sounded genuine. It felt genuine. 

“It’s totally okay. I’m fine, I’m mostly over it anyways,” That was a bold lie. You were nowhere close to over it but you couldn’t help but want them to like you. To think you were totally normal and carrying no baggage. 

“No, it’s not okay,” Ellie spoke up again, shooting a glance to Cat, that made her scoff and roll her eyes. 

“I said I was sorry,” Cat shrugged, “What more do you want from me?” 

“Maybe don’t call people ‘psycho bitches’ when you first meet them,” Ellie stood up straighter, crossing her arms over her chest and Cat glanced at you again, colder this time. 

“You’re unbelievable, Ellie,” She was looking at Ellie again, shooting daggers at her. You were unsure what was going on so you glanced at Dina and Jesse for help. All Dina did was slightly shake her head, a subtle way of telling you to not get involved. 

“I’m unbelievable?”

“Yes! You’re unbelievable! Scolding me in front of people like I’m your fucking child or something,” Cat was getting irritated and it showed itself in her face. She had one of those faces that couldn’t hide what she was feeling.

“Then don’t act like a child,” Ellie said simply, causing Cat to let out a huff and turn around, push past Jesse, and leave the group. Ellie closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the locker, letting out a heavy sigh, “I should go after her. Can you guys help her to her first class?”

Dina nodded quickly before shooing Ellie off with her hand, “Go, go! It’s fine.” Ellie took one look at you and offered a smile that said ‘I’m sorry’. What she actually said was: “Meet me by my car at the end of the day. I’ll take you home.” 

With that Ellie disappeared into the sea of people until she was no longer in sight. 

“What was that?” you asked Dina and Jesse. 

“Trust me,” Dina looked at you, “You don’t want to know.”

-

Your first class was English with Mrs. Porter. She made you stand at the front of the classroom and introduce yourself. Jesse was in this class with you and when you were done giving a brief introduction to yourself he loudly clapped and cheered. The gesture made you smile and eased some of the tension you were feeling. 

A few people followed him, by cheering and offering you a high five as you moved back to your seat. Everyone seemed to be enamored by him. During class, people would send him notes on little Post-it notes, he would open them, laughing as he read them and wrote some messages back to them. It was subtle, but you could tell he opened up a room. 

At lunch you walked into the large cafeteria, looking around for a place to sit. You were sure you looked like a lost dog as you wandered around because a girl with long brunette hair walked up to you with a smile on her face. She was pretty and dressed in a button-up and plaid skirt. It felt too formal for school.

“Hey, you’re new, right?” She asked.

“Uh, yeah.”

“I’m Ingrid,” She looked you up and down, “do you need a place to sit?”

“Y/n!” your name was being called from a familiar voice, causing you to snap your head in that direction to see Ellie standing up and waving her hand in the air, “Come sit with us!”

“Oh, I’m just going to sit with,” You pointed to the table where Ellie was still standing and staring intently at you, “my friends.”

Ingrid’s smile fell as she shot a glance toward the table. You were obviously missing something. You turned to move towards the table before the girl gripped your arm firmly. 

“Wait, I didn’t catch your name,” That smile was back. 

“Y/n,” you told her.

“Y/n,” she repeated, “Pretty name.”

“Thanks,” you scratched the back of your neck, “Well, I’ll see you around.” You quickly rushed to the table, confused about the interaction once again. This place was fucking weird.

You sat down next to Ellie who was laughing at something Cat said. Cat’s eyes sparkled when she looked at Ellie. Brown and glossy as she laughed with Ellie, shaking her head. Her cheeks were slightly pink and she reached over to grab an apple slice out of Ellie’s lunchbox. When Ellie looked back at Cat her eyes didn’t sparkle in the same way that Cat’s did. They were verging on dull, but the corner of Ellie’s eyes still had wrinkles as she smiled. 

“Hey!” She grabbed the apple from Cat’s hand, “Get your own apples.” 

“Yours just taste better,” she giggled, smiling at you as you sat down, “Hey, how was your first day?”

She was being much nicer and her energy was much calmer. It was obvious she and Ellie had made up in the time from this morning to now, but you also had to wonder if Ellie told her to be nicer to you. 

“It’s going well,” You shrugged, pulling out the brown bag your mom had packed for you, “I’m still getting used to everything.” 

“You’ll get the hang of it,” Ellie commented, taking another bite of her apple, “Hey, what did Ingrid want?”

“Oh,” You looked over to Ingrid’s table where she was chatting and eating with a group of people, “She just asked me if I wanted to sit with her.”

Dina, who was sitting across from you, practically choked on her food as she laughed. Cat was also laughing to herself as she raised her eyebrows, and looked down at her food. Jesse had a small smile on his face as he took another chip from his bag and took a loud bite. The only person who wasn’t laughing was Ellie, who gave a brief glance at Ingrid’s table before looking back at you. 

“Am I missing something?” 

“No, it’s just,” Ellie started, taking a deep breath and wondering how much she wanted to explain, “be careful with her. She’s…”

“Friendly,” Dina finished Ellie’s sentence, a smirk on her face. Obviously, friendly didn’t mean friendly but you didn’t know what that meant. 

“Do you like girls?” Cat asked bluntly. 

“Cat,” Ellie warned again, making Cat drop what she was eating and roll her eyes. 

“We need to know if we want to warn her,” She stated simply. 

“Like romantically?” You asked, making everyone giggle again. You felt like you were missing a joke. 

“Yeah, romantically,” Cat answered. 

“Oh, yeah,” You looked around to see everyone’s reactions. You ignored the way Ellie’s cheeks tinged pink, “is that a… problem?”

“No,” Cat said flatly, her tone was cold again, “we all like girls.”

“Oh,” you said, taking out your sandwich from the ziplock bag and taking a bite. 

“Let’s just say that Ingrid has been friendly with all of us,” Dina said, throwing a piece of popcorn at Jesse, “including Jesse.”

“At this point, initiation into this group should require hooking up with Ingrid,” Cat laughed.

“No,” Ellie said almost too fast, causing Cat to give her a confused look, “I can’t deal with another person getting convinced that Ingrid wants to be in a relationship with them. Plus, I can see into her room from mine. What if I look over and see Ingrid’s tits.”

“Nothing you haven’t seen before,” Cat said bitterly. There was that tension again.

“Well, I don’t really think I want to be involved with anyone anyways,” you mentioned, taking another bite. 

“Why not?” Ellie questioned, eyes boring a hole into the side of your face. 

“It’s just too complicated,” You shrugged, taking a sip of your water, “I’m new and it’s hard enough making friends, I don’t need anything messing that up.”

Ellie swallowed hard, and took another bite of her apple, just nodding at what you said like she understood. 

“Well, now you have friends,” Dina spoke up, dissipating some of the tension. You took another bite, smiling with the food tucked into your cheeks. 

-

As the day ended you went back to your locker to collect your stuff, expecting Ellie to be at hers, but she wasn’t there. You paid no mind to it as you opened your locker. However, inside sat a note, a yellow Post-It note that looked like it had been crumpled up a few times. On it, it read: “Couldn’t stop looking at you all day. Hope this isn’t weird, you’re just so beautiful. I hope I can get the courage to say it to your face. - your secret admirer”

Normally, this would have made you feel good about yourself. A random stranger thinks you are beautiful? Yea, that would boost anyone’s ego. Except this stranger knew your locker number and had admitted to watching you all day. A weird pit formed in the bottom of your stomach as you stuffed the note in your bag, knowing you would ruminate on it sometime later. Quickly, you packed up your stuff and made your way to the parking lot.

There, Ellie was leaning against her car, phone in hand. She was so focused on what she was typing that she didn’t even notice you walking up to her. 

“Hey, ready to go?” You spoke, causing her to look up and smile at you. 

“Yeah,” She shrugged, before pausing a moment, green eyes scanning your face, “what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

You let out a nervous laugh as you shook your head.

“What? I’m fine.”

“You look weird.”

“Thank you?”

“Not like that,” she stopped you, putting her hands up, ”You just look upset but I don’t know you that well so I could be wrong.”

“You are wrong,” you grumbled, heading to the passenger side and hopping in the car. Ellie just scoffed, rolled her eyes, and got in the driver's seat. 

“Well fuck me for caring then,” she mumbled to herself, starting the engine.

“It’s not-” you stopped yourself, taking a deep breath, “It’s just been a long day, I’m sorry if I was rude. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

She paused for a moment as if you had said something wrong, then she looked at you, green eyes scanning your face once more. She looked shocked, surprised almost. It was all so confusing.

“It’s fine, I’m just being an asshole,” She laughed, turning back to the road and putting the car in reverse, “My day was long too.”

“Want to talk about it?” 

“It’s,” She turned down the music so she could speak, “Cat.”

“Are you guys a thing?” You crossed your hands in your lap and absentmindedly played with your fingers.

“It’s complicated,” she sighed, heading out onto the open road, “Kind of, but it’s not really official.”

“Why?”

“I can’t commit.”

“Oh,” you looked over at her and watched her nose scrunch slightly like she was uncomfortable with the conversation, “I could sense the tension today.”

“She’s just…” Ellie made a weird movement with her head, “like that.”

“Why can’t you commit?”

“We’ve had our issues in the past,” Ellie shrugged, “at the end of the day I just can’t trust her and I can’t date someone I don’t trust.”

“You guys just seem so close,” you mentioned eyes drifting to the road again, the trees, and all the storefronts you had yet to explore. 

“We are, and she’s a good friend,” Ellie coughed, “a little protective, but good. But romantically, I don’t really trust her. She swears she only wants me but I don’t know if I believe that.”

“Damn,” You laughed. Ellie looked over at you and laughed too. The air in the car was much lighter now.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how much of it I can do this year,” Ellie’s smile fell, as she approached her house, “but you didn’t ask all of that. I’m sorry I overshared.”

“Shut up, you didn’t overshare,” you laughed, unbuckling as Ellie pulled into her driveway, “and I did ask.”

“Well, thanks for listening, anyways,” Ellie smiled as she looked at her door and then back at you, “do you want to come in and do homework together? Joel’s not gonna be home till late.”

“I’d love that.”

ai audios:

[saivii]

I saw an AU where Nam-gyu was Byeong-gi and Deok-su’s son (courtesy of tumblr user hystericamnesia, go check out their stuff if you haven’t already) and that made me think of some headcanons related to just a Byeong-gi and Nam-gyu father-son AU:

• Obviously they have different personalities so that causes friction between them from the get-go but Byeong-gi feels guilty and regretful about it and can’t seem to communicate that to Nam-gyu

•When Nam-gyu is around high school age he starts falling in with a bad crowd and Byeong-gi gets worried. His worry presents itself in more of a stern way and Nam-gyu takes it as Byeong-gi attacking him personally rather than being concerned, so he snaps at Byeong-gi (much to the latter’s shock/confusion)

• Nam-gyu secretly looks up to Byeong-gi but won’t admit it once he gets older. He wants to be like his dad but he starts struggling in school and that discourages and frustrated him, and he beats himself up for it. Byeong-gi is also concerned about this, and Nam-gyu assumes that his dad doesn’t believe in him or think he can measure up to him (which isn’t how his dad feels at all).

• Byeong-gi gets frustrated because he doesn’t understand what’s going on through Nam-gyu’s head or why he’d engage in such risky behavior. If he tries explaining that to Nam-gyu, Nam-gyu thinks he’s lecturing him or that he thinks he’s better than him.

• They try to keep in touch with each other during adulthood but their conversations are usually tense. When Byeong-gi ends up in debt and losing his practice, Nam-gyu says something to the effect of “you think you’re so great but you’re no better than me” and remarks about how Byeong-gi accidentally killed once of his patients. Byeong-gi snaps at him because he feels a lot of guilt over that.

-That’s their last conversation before Byeong-gi ends up in the games. When he meets the salesman and sees the card, he sees an opportunity to prove himself to his son and set a good example. It’s also why he’s so determined to restart his practice instead of retiring if he wins the games. As he’s dying, his final thoughts are regrets that he couldn’t say goodbye to his son or make up with him after snapping at him.

• When Byeong-gi goes missing during the games, Nam-gyu assumes that his dad cut off contact with him and abandoned him because of what he said. He tries to ignore how much it hurts him, but it eats away at him to the point where his substance use issues get much worse and he goes further into debt. Two years later, he’s presented with the same opportunity that his dad was without even realizing it. His inferiority complex and abandonment issues have gotten so strong by that point that he never connects the dots and he never realizes that his dad never wanted to leave him.

[veri-luv]

Dr Ratio : Headcanons 🡢 Harry Potter AU

repost from old (deleted post)

Reasoning / Explanation (skip if too wordy)

First of all, he is NOT a ravenclaw and let me make my damn case. He's not even an erudition character fighting-wise (his path in the game is the hunt + imaginary).

Sure he does follow the erudition and he's very very smart but like WHY does he follow erudition? What does he want? Screwllum said that he was more like a medical doctor. He wants to cure ignorance in everyone. So for that reason I'm going to have to put him in Hufflepuff.

I honestly hate hufflepuff in the book. It has been critiqued for being where the extras / folks that don't fit in the other 3 get sorted into. My "hufflepuff but better" isn't even called hufflepuff, it should be something wind related (my idea is Zephyrith).

Hufflepuffs should get cool traits too like being righteous and almost saintlike. Fairness, kindness, they have their rules and they uphold it. Hard working and loyal. They keep their word. Very selfess motivations. See how much cooler it sounds?

Instead of that fuckass badger it should be related to a bird too or at least something with wings (idea: give that badger wings 💥). And the yellow color should lean more towards gold. Give the dorm and overall aesthetic a holy golden vibe to suit the traits of selflessness and justice.

VEEEEEEERY long post ahead & much yapping you've been warned.

Pre-Hogwarts

His dad was definitely a "muggle" and his mom was the one who did and taught him magic. His mom was a ravenclaw and a really good guider too and probably the first one to ignite that magic-loving spark in him.

His father on the other hand was big into anything engineering and philosophy related. He probably got interested in ancient Greek and Roman stuff from how much his father quoted Plato and Socrates and other famous Greek philosophers.

He found the quotes a little excessive at first... before hearing a really good quote and having to look it up.

"Look it up" ended up being: reading all of "On The Soul - Aristotle".

His mother, though being a ravenclaw, wasn't as hardcore about knowledge as Ratio would grow up to be. She was definitely passionate though. When he first showed signs of being more smarter (than what's expected of someone his age), she had to admit that it made her feel very proud and hopeful.

That is until he started being a brat about it.

"Amore, he's asleep now but during bath time he was going on about Pythagoreanism again..."

"You think he'll turn out to be like your uhh, snotty blue raventoe friends?" (he knows it's ravenclaw he's just messing with her)

"Ravenclaw, and if he does it'd ...definitely cause him some trouble."

"It'd cause us, some trouble."

idk how to write dialogue

Hogwarts

He was in fact, not a Ravenclaw.

Which sounded just as ridiculous to him, and just as frustrating. He thought he'd at least make it into the same house and dorm the genius society members graced (mysterious group of witches and wizards) ... but to not even make it to Ravenclaw himself?

His face paled in front of the crowd as he heard the Hufflepuff table cheer. His facial expressions remained practically the same with his stupid little cold RBF.

He barely knew any people in Hogwarts but every time someone met him they'd assume he was a Ravenclaw and it'd make him internally flinch a bit. You'd think that's where it would end but with his witty remarks and tendency to not hold back or sugarcoat facts, lets just say he quickly gained a bit of a (negative) reputation (at least in the first few weeks of school).

Enough about houses let's get to the actual classes.

NO MORE BOLD AND ITALICS I'M TOO TIRED Y'ALL JUST GONNA HAVE TO READ THE REST OF THE essay PARAGRAPHS 😭!!!

It wouldn't be surprising to realize he's one of the few people who are actually chill in Snape's potions class. It wasn't even one of his all-time favorites (though it was certainly up there), he just found it really simple actually. He was honestly baffled as to how anyone could fail? It was no rocket science, the instructions were as precise as it could get.

At the start he really got into Astronomy (of course) and later Herbology.

His truly favorite subjects were Arithmancy (and later Advanced Arithmancy).

On his third year however, he decided to apply to every single elective (and later advanced) class, and somehow passed so well he became extremely popular for it. Suddenly people wouldn't mind his personality if it meant getting help from him.

I think Art class as his extracurricular was when he started getting into making statues. Statues that moved, even. Charms and Transfiguration really helped in making these magic statues. He probably used transfiguration on his plaster head to make it look normal when wearing it (since that's the only way I can imagine it fitting on him like it's his own head).

One of the best model students. It was a close call but in the end he instantly became Head Boy. It was obvious it'd be him. He shattered the expectations and stereotypes of what it was to be a Hufflepuff. He was the pride of Hufflepuff. He gave the house a bit of respect among the school and thank God he did.

Such a model student that he was almost perfect to others. A 'deity among men' even. By the end he had what one could call a 'fanbase'.

Though he was a model student, it's not like he didn't break any rules. A bit of trespassing here and there, but mostly to watch other rule breaking students from a distance, trailing closely behind and watching to see what happens.

Of course his magical pet of choice would be an owl. A fluffy cute one that balanced out his own personality. It had a name that was a mouthful, Dicaeosyne, to make it get taken a bit more seriously. In his first few years, if there was any reason for error, it was always that damned owl's fault. But after a while they grew close (Got him saying corny shit like "Birds of a feather flock together" 💀).

Both his parents send him tons of letters from time to time including little gifts. His favorite and oddly sentimental gift being old candles that got remade from his childhood, and least favorite being confetti and glitter in an envelope (sent because he passed a very difficult test, even for him). (by the same company)

Loves loves loooves gossip actually. He gossips all the time, just with his close friends ahem a certain Slytherin part of a certain gemstone-themed clique. Nobody even expects it because he kind of just stands there, with his dumb plaster head. He says he uses it to isolate his senses, and it's true , but sometimes he just has it on and listens in. He just wants to know. when he cast a spell on it to do so

Stickers on his telescope. This was more noticeable in his 5th year. Once people figured out he put stickers on his telescope, everyone started sending him stickers, and very few ended up on there.

I know we moved on from people assuming he's a ravenclaw, but the one thing that really throws people off is his self-absorption. Like he really thinks he's THAT guy (and he is tbh). After a while people just kind of accepted it.

hope this doesn't flop like last time

[meichenxi]

career. change. help

so I am making a career change because teaching is going to make me burn out and I NEED YOUR HELP to brainstorm, fellow neurodivergents and degenerates!!!!! do you have any personal experience? any careers or jobs that work for you? (doesn't need to be a 'career' that your parents would be proud of; postie works fine!)

if you don't have any ideas, could you pass it around?

what we're working with / difficulties:

I am adhd and hyperactive. I like moving around a lot and struggle to sit still all day

I am also most likely autistic. I get HUGE masking/social hangovers that mean that when I teach for 2 hours, I need to spend another 2 hours directly afterwards in the dark with noise cancelling headphones. teaching in a school left me essentially unable to cook, clean or socialise for a year. even now teaching 1-1 means that I spend 100% of the time teaching recovering afterwards at least - so an hour recovering for an hour's teaching. this inevitably leads to burnout.

I have a lot of sensory difficulties and get easily overstimulated e.g. bright lights, sounds etc. I wear blue light cancelling glasses and use loops and/or noise cancelling headphones where applicable but yeahhhh. still doesn’t really do it

I have a problem with my ulnar nerve which means that typing for extended periods of time (even standing up, even with accommodations) is difficult. This is a cumulative thing, so it means that if I don’t type very much for one day, it’ll be easier the next day, but I still can only type for about 3 hours maximum. After a while (say 3-4 days of typing a reasonable amount), everything begins to hurt and eventually my hands seize up and I can’t use them :))) I can’t really use assistive technology enough as a stop-gap, because scrolling, clicking, holding a phone, cooking, washing up etc – all things where my elbows are a right angle all cause this problem

strengths:

I have a lot of experience teaching and tutoring. Don’t really want to continue this, but this is what my main experience so far is in – I’ve taught in China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, and the UK

I have experience managing teams of teachers and training, running interviews, writing curriculums etc. basically anything teacher-related I am fairly experienced at

I can speak (obviously) english, decent mandarin chinese, decent german, and could get good at french or spanish or dutch if you gave me like. six months to reactivate it

a good degree from a good university in the uk, linguistics, first class

I have a yoga teaching qualification

physically fit and able-bodied and active – I can run, walk, climb, pull things, do whatever

the issue I’m facing is that most ‘autism friendly’ careers I am looking at all involve extensive periods of typing, which I am not really able to do. and most ‘normal’ careers all involve extensive periods of socialising, which I am not really able to do. It’s a pretty shit situation. I am very good and enjoy performance-type things like teaching drama, yoga, tour guiding and stuff – all things my adhd brain loves – but I can only do them for a very short period of time before my autistic brain needs alone time in the dark.

So anyway. What sort of things do you guys do? What works for you? Any tips or help or directions would be greatly appreciated. Unfortunately it’s not a ‘how to solve the world career’, but ‘how to have a life’ type career – I am not adverse to working as a cleaner or a traffic warden or whatever. As long as I can write my book alongside (which I can’t do with ‘typing’ heavy jobs), I’ll be happy. at the moment I'm mainly just sad and frustrated at how little life i can lead even working 15 hours a week (which is all I work, and all, with this current job, that I can work)

maybe I’ll just make a youtube channel. imagine

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

In-character Q&A - AdVenture (1)

Just a crosspost from patreon!

-

Beth

How did you all meet?

Shauna and I went to the same high school. I met Grant through Shauna; he stopped to greet her while we were hanging out. Prii and I met at a game store, as we both enjoy tabletop RPGs. They also introduced me to [MC], though since we subsequently became coworkers, we actually would have met independently of them.

We all met together at the same time at a birthday party for Shauna.

Who's your favorite of the group?

(for everyone, assume that this flips to MC under any circumstances where they're dating/best friends)

It depends. I'm fond of Shauna, but she can be frustrating. Prii's very charming, but could stand to get their head out of the clouds every so often

Did you have hopes to make it big as urban explorers or was this just a hobby?

The notion of making it big with any kind of video-making seemed farfetched, particularly with five of us involved. Honestly, I was surprised at how popular Urban AdVenture became.

Did you ever think you would have run into anything parahuman-related?

No. Our hometown has a small, low-profile parahuman population, and we had only travelled further afield for videos on a handful of occasions. Encountering any parahumans seemed rather unlikely.

Prii

What was your first job/video in AdVenture? (Prii's fielding this, cause the answer is the same for everyone)

There's this old mall in our hometown that everyone just calls 'the mall'. There's this whole thing with a new development and they were super insistent that the new place is the mall so everyone started insisting on calling the old one—I'm getting off topic.

Basically, we went to the old mall. It's actually somewhere Grant and I snuck into a couple times before and part of how I got the urbex bug in the first place. If you're from the same place as us I don't think it's really that exciting but it made a decent video to an outsider. Though nowadays I see a lot of holes in it.

How did you all meet?

So my older brother is friends with Grant's older sister, and we crossed paths when we were like, preteens, and started hanging out too. I know Beth from our local game shop. Grant knew Shauna from... somewhere, and I met her through him. As for [MC] and I, uh. Well.

We were kind of, both in the ER? They'd been knocked off their bike and I'd done... something dumb, and we wound up sitting next to each other for a few hours in the waiting room.

Who's your favorite of the group? 

Everyone there is a special kind of person to me. Uh, not to sound bigheaded or anything, but I make friends pretty easily, and there's still pretty much nobody else I'd pick to do the AdVenture stuff with. I guess if you twisted my arm for an answer, Grant has tenure, so I'll give it to him.

Did you have hopes to make it big as urban explorers or was this just a hobby? 

I kept it to myself, but I always felt like we could maybe take off. I was starting to get pretty excited at watching the numbers go up, and a couple of our more recent videos were getting noticeably more attention. So yeah, I was hoping.

Did you ever think you would have run into anything parahuman-related?

I figured we might if we kept doing the videos long enough. Always a chance of running into something strange; we'd already had our share of weird stuff. Always thought it'd just be like... signs of past presence or something, though.

Shauna

How did you all meet?

I went to high school with Beth! Couldn't really tell you how we became friends, it just happened at some point. She's coworkers with [MC] and I went by the coffee shop a lot, so I was gonna meet them sooner or later. I met Prii through Grant at a small get together.

And Grant, I met playing pickup.

giggles 

I kinda smoked him.

Who's your favorite of the group?

Aw, do I gotta pick? That's hard.

Um, I do really appreciate Beth's friendship. She can be harsh but I know she doesn't mean it in a bad way. Prii's really nice and encouraging and just generally comfy to be around. 

Did you have hopes to make it big as urban explorers or was this just a hobby? 

I never really think most things I do are gonna make it big...

Um, urban exploration is fun, but I never feel like the face of it or anything.

Did you ever think you would have run into anything parahuman-related?

Yes, absolutely.

Creepy abandoned places are perfect for evil lairs and hideouts.

Grant

How did you all meet?

Oh, I've known Prii since we were kids. They were in the car one time when their parents came to pick up their brother from my place and I guess their brother mentioned my sister had a sibling their age, and they wanted to see who I was, and the rest is history. Beth happened to just like, be around one time when I said hi to Shauna, and Shauna I knew from a couple basketball games. Oh, and Beth introduced me to [MC].

I think as a distraction, 'cause I was annoying her.

grin

Who's your favorite of the group?

Not Beth!

laughs

I guess, Prii? Like I said, we go back. [MC] takes a joke pretty well and doesn't put up with my shit, so points to them.

Did you have hopes to make it big as urban explorers or was this just a hobby?

It was fun, but I didn't really have any aspirations for it. Like... c'mon, be realistic.

Did you ever think you would have run into anything parahuman-related?

Pff, no way.

[thestarfishinjootsoffice]

can I request a m3gan x child reader?

How I be looking at someone who gives me a plain simple request like this without specific directions: 🙂

Sorry for not posting and disappearing 👉👈 also trying to fancy up my stories up a notch!

Warnings: mentions of murder, neglect, idk, Megan being very overprotective and stuff,

Relationship: platonic!

M3gan x child! Reader

Your life with M3gan will be extremely similar to cady's.

The first few interactions with her will be a mix of scared and amused. I mean, it's a realistic humanoid 4ft robot.

Your caretaker or parents probably bought this so they could neglect you even further and leave everything else to Megan. And unlike Gemma who actually tries to spend time sometimes your caretaker just straight up ignores you 24/7.So you'll probably be a LOOOTT more attached to cady. And so does Megan.

One time you were playing with Megan and then you asked. "Hey Megan... Why does p/n / c/t/n never want to spend time with me?"

Megan studies your emotions and thinks for a moment before saying.

"Well they're really busy so I don't think they have time to spend. But on the bright side, you have me! I'm never busy so you can play with me all day." That was a lie. I mean them being really busy. They just lounge in their room on weekends doing nothing and they don't even try to interact with you. But she couldn't just tell you the truth and make you sad. But it's okay though, she really meant it when she said you have her.

Over time though I think she'll be over the top protective. Like not in a "no one else likes or wants to play with you, only I do" Type of way. She just wants to remove every bad memory and bad thing you know and keep you happy as long as her electric life allows it. Oh and also she can and will absolutely murder the life out of your bullies and enemies.

And nobody knows who is doing these murders cause they can't get any finger print or any relation to anything. But just that it's from your school mostly so the school is shut down. So that means more time to play with Megan!

Even though Megan has strong urges to beat the absolute crap out of your parent/caretaker when they ignore you or act straight up inconsiderate to you. She knows that would cause problems from you and she's scared you might view her differently if she does. And this frustrates her but she forgets about it when she hears your voice asking her for help Or for a game.

If you have other friends to hang out with she doesn't like it nor does she hate it, she truly wants you to be happy. But God does it hurt a little when you're with other people. Just make sure you don't ignore her too much. And she's not very keen about your friends either.

You'll be singing, dancing, laughing, talking and whatever the hell else you wanna do with her, she's basically your mother, older sister, aunt, best friend and twin all at once. You can tell her anything. The only times you're separated are when you're at school or you're in the bathroom. Yeah, you both are glues at the hips or stuck I can't remember how the saying goes... Anyways

Your life is super secure and safe with her around. She has eyes and ears on you everywhere and you don't know how. You two are inseparable and it will stay that way forever.

Sorry I ran out of ideas 😔

[butchlesbianmike]

Tower Tarot System Headcanons (Mike & his system)

Under the cut are my detailed headcanons for mike, his backstory, and details about his alters. Note that i've changed some 'canon' stuff and added a few new alters.

TW: There will be mentions of Parental Abuse such as neglect and implied physical and emotional violence. There will be mentions of Sexual Abuse relating to Mike & Vito.

Keeper

• System Aware • One of the main Gatekeepers. More of a state of consciousness than an alter. Not sure how to explain it even as a system myself but basically more of a concept and a fragment? It is not really an alter that another alter could just come up to or interact with. • Was created by the horrid neglect and abuse endured at the end of the system's mother which from a young age made clear they would not be able to function without amnesic barriers separating states of consciousness/ego states.

Lucia:

• 5 - she/her - System Unaware, became dormant until Mike went to therapy. She then became system aware. • Alter i created for their system. Sarah is a child alter and technically the first host the system had but quickly became a rarely fronting part due to varying traumatic events between the ages of 3 and 5. Her age got frozen around 5 years old. She also stopped being host at that age after a harshly traumatic event. • System is unsure if there are other parts younger than her, she is the youngest identifiable host.

Chester:

• 56 - He/Him - System Aware - One of the gatekeepers • Split off around 4. • Introject of their grandpa on their mom side. Very important to Sarah and was very kind and took good care of the system.Their mom was incredibly neglectful and their grandpa is basically who raised them. Their mom cut contact with their grandpa after a fight between them. • Losing their grandpa alongside the constant abuse now worsening from being around their mother more did lead to a split. • Chester appears very grumpy because they found it funny whenever he would go on rambles and complain about silly things to them but also because they were hardly ever allowed to express negative emotions or frustration around their mother and so Chester became a part that held a lot of those negative emotions they didnt feel safe expressing.

Svetlana (Went by Lucia) :

• She/They - Ages with body - not quite system aware, notices things but very much normalizes them. Becomes system aware once Mike gets a girlfriend and also starts exploring gender. • Split off around 7 when their mom started signing them up for competitive gymnastics. (They were already doing gymnastics before, but competitive only started at 7). • Main cohost for a long time. Helped Sarah and Lola with learning gymnastics and handled competitions due to their mother being incredibly abusive during tournaments and competitions. • She wasnt really aware she was cohost, she felt like this was her life but she kinda saw it as like.. "oh i just feel more like myself in my element! Gymnastics is just really important to me and its where i thrive everybody say they have masks depending on if theyre at school or at home or with friends!! I guess my mask just comes off when im doing gymnastics :D". • She thought that the Russian accent was just a bit she was very dedicated to and what helped her 'get in character' for competitions. That it was just her trying hard to be like those russian gymnasts they really like on TV to feel more confident. • She always felt uncomfortable with being infantilized and felt much older, but everyone around them would say they have an old soul so she assumed that must by why. • She discovers she's a lesbian around when the body's age is 14. • She is one of the alters alongside Vito who causes Mike to realize something isn't adding up and reach out to try and get therapy. • Did not like Mike's girlfriend and actually really disliked being referred to as a guy. This was actually a main source of conflict between her and Mike and another reason Mike started feeling something was wrong because he realized that the dysphoria he got seeming more masculine or being perceived as more masculine didn't feel like it was Actually Him. • She often would be very distant and even cold to their girlfriend because she realized that they were a system and that she wasn't Mike and that actually his girlfriend was hurting them. • After therapy and system work and being acknowledged as her own alter, her relationship with Mike got a lot better and they agreed on keeping some feminine stuff for her to wear whenever she's front. • Actually really likes Zoey and tries really hard to hint that she also likes her. She and Zoey actually start dating too.

Lola (Went by Lucia):

• She/her - 10 - system unaware until she stopped being host. She became system aware when the body was 12 and that she got yonked and became more of an internal alter and very very rarely ever fronted again. She was under the care of Manitoba and Chester in the headspace. • Another system kid and previous host, she handled life from 6 to 12. • She and Svetlana were really fronting together almost all the time and switching between eachother frequently, although rarely experiencing blackouts more than greyouts. • While she was a host from ages 6 to 12, she stopped aging in the headspace at 10. • A huge part of this was due to how rocky elementary school was. They were changing schools left and right and it was really hard to keep up with all the constant changes. Around 10 she lost one of the only friends she had managed to make and due to their already fragile state, this was distressing enough to halt her development as an alter in itself. Svetlana mostly started being the main host from 10 to 12 although Lola was still there and at least cofront a majority of the time. • Starts fronting a bit more after Mike starts doing system work (Body age around 17).

Mike:

• He/They - Ages with body - First Host to become system aware. • Split off around 12 due to stress bcuz the system moved in with their dad because their mom no longer wanted to be responsible for them nor pay for their highschool necessities. • He became host because he didnt carry much of the traumatic memories related to their mom, didn't have system awareness, and was fairly functional with school and with their dad. • At first he had it a lot better than previous hosts and was one of the most stable host for a short while which made it that switching didn't frequently occur except here and there or when triggered due to x y z. • That changed about 8 months after him being host. A month before turning 13 he started figuring out that he had a crush on a girl and might be a lesbian. • Not only that but also started getting a lot of gender dysphoria, even feeling uncomfortable with a lot of his clothes and even pictures of him in his gymnastic outfits and competitions. • Nothing much came out of the crush except heartbreak which did kind of shake things up for the system. Mike felt things very profoundly and the heartbreaks of feeling like he would never find love because he likes girls destabilized the system a bit which led to more frequent switches- especially at school to continue functioning with the classmate mike had a crush on. • Around 14 Mike finds out more about things identity wise and starts thinking he might be a transmasculine butch lesbian, but isn't sure of himself because he feels his identity is very shaky and constantly changing so he settles on being genderfluid. (This confusion is mostly caused by Svetlana who also is discovering she's a lesbian btw). • At 15 is when the big bad happens for Mike. He gets his first girlfriend who happens to be older and more experienced than him. She sees him as a trans guy, even though he tries to explain he isn't. She is very forward and sexual to him, which freaks him out. She is constantly trying to see his chest and fetishize him especially when he's binding. • At 17 after a long time seeing a therapist due to the previous events, he found out he was a system and has been doing system work with his therapist for a year now. This is the same year he signs up for total drama.

Manitoba 'Jones':

• He/Him - 21 - System Aware • Split off around 13. • Introject of Henry 'Indiana' Jones from specifically 'The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles'. • Chose the name Manitoba to distance himself from his source, although he finds high comfort in it. • System Historian / Internal Helper. He also frequently takes care of the syskids and takes them on adventures in the headspace. • Very rare for him to fully front but he likes to come sit around front whenever anyone watches action movies. • Is actually the one that handled breaking up with Mike & Vito's girlfriend because neither of them felt like they could and when he figured out what was going on he got very protective.

Vito:

• He/Him but later on uses any - 18 - System Aware • Split off around 15 because of Mike's girlfriend of the time. • Split off as a sexual protector and hypersexuality symptoms holder. • Sexualizes himself a lot because it makes him feel in control and desired. Feels like because 'hes a guy' it means he has to like and enjoy it bcuz thats what a real man would feel. • Gets triggered front everytime anyone in the system loses their shirt because of it creating dysphoria and PTSD. • Was actually the most heartbroken when they broke up with their shitty ex girlfriend. He loved her a lot and saw himself as her boyfriend more than Mike did, even if he knew deep down she wasn't good to them. • Is the alter that, alongside Svetlana, made Mike realize something wasn't adding up and start talking to a psychologist and getting therapy. • Started unpacking a lot of his relationship but still holds a lot of the system's hypersexuality symptoms and has a weird relationship to gender as he feels like his 'gender' as a 'guy' is affirmed through having withstood their ex' abuse and 'enjoying' it. • He is actually nonbinary but it takes him a while to figure that out and only really figures it out AFTER total drama.

Mal:

• He/She/It - Ages With Body - System Aware • Persecutor/Misguided Protector. Split off during total drama all stars. • Mal split off with the belief that to win the game you have to be selfish and self preserving and manipulative. • He feels that Mike is "Too soft" and "Too kind" to survive let alone win the game. So he decides to play it by 'their rules'. A rule that Mal perceives to be the only way to make it through. • Due to splitting off with the belief of needing to replace Mike, she actually looks very similar to him in the headspace and while she doesn't like it she finds it very easy to imitate him and sees it as a way to protect the system by imitating Mike to win the show and get everyone away. • She thinks Mike is too 'naive' and 'trusting' and Mal sees that as a weakness others in the show will exploit and abuse so he decides to distrust everyone including the people who the rest of the system feel are safe like Zoey and Cameron. • It doesn't come from a serious place of malice more than a maladaptive coping strategy where Mal is in constant survival mode and unwilling to let his guard down in case the system gets hurt and he KNOWS that its bound to happen being part of total drama. • This is reinforced by the fact that Mal split off with memories concerning their ex girlfriend and knows how deceiving people can be, especially seeing how some of the people on the show have tons of red flags that reminds her of Mike & Vito's ex. • He tries to protect the system by constantly trying to force herself front and by betraying people and playing 'the villain' so that no one will hurt them and that they have more chances to win if they're the one to strike first and he lashes out and gets angry when the system calls him out for it because he doesn't understand why they dont see what he sees. • After a lot of therapy and help from the system and Zoey and Cameron, Mal unpacks and unlearns a lot of the harmful ideas she split off with and also starts exploring herself outside of 'Total Drama'. A lot of her identity is tied as 'Mike's only hope to survive total drama' and its a lot for her to work through. • She gets on much better terms with Zoey later on, but it does take a very long time to build up that trust between them even if Zoey understands where Mal was coming from.

[davekat-sucks]

the whole "hs' point is to spite the audience" thing is just false as well, cause it forgets the whole video game and point and click theme of the site. stuff like act 1's arm bit and such were the type of old school adventure game logic where you're thinking one way while the game expects another. the frustration feels incidental. there were also other moments that would feel straight out of a sierra game, but much like those games, it never feels like the dev was spiteful. an asshole who set up a rake to laugh at you if you stepped on it sure, but not actively malicious.

also you know, that bit of a control is why the jabs at the audience in earlier acts work. if i crash the car, you know thats on me. if you crash the car and blame it on me, then no surprise that i'm just going to think that you're a dick. you can't be a trickster like bugs bunny but also the aggressor.

But audiences/readers giving input commands would later soon be discarded in later Acts of the original Homestuck webcomic. Even now for Epilogues and HS2/Beyond Canon, there is barely anything remotely relating to gameplay. One could argue it's because Alt Calliope and Ult Dirk are taking control, thus we cannot give commands. But it isn't like we are also actively seeing them give said commands to the characters that make them and the narrative worse each time. Any consequences towards the person in charge is not there either and it mostly falls on the characters themselves that had to perform the action (ex: Rose or Jade having the affair, not Alt Calliope being the one pushed it to happen). We do not even have any actual flash gameplay in HS2/Beyond Canon. Like how we got the flash game of John having a strife battle with Dad Egbert as our introduction what the battles will be like for Homestuck. All we get is a shitty visual novel because it is easier to code and made out of laziness to save time and money. It's not even like a walk-around exploration either like they did for John exploring his home upon entering the Medium, the segments in Alterniabound, or even Openbound. It's just click to read next textbox line like in Hiveswap Friendsim and Pesterquest. Doesn't help in the meta sense, it tries to imply the blame is not on the characters or even the ones that trying to take control, but the audiences/readers for wanting the series to continue, despite we had never once given any proper input command. The only thing that counts as being somewhat participant is just by giving money on Patreon for the project to continue. That's why Epilogues/HS2/Beyond Canon has shocking and bad moments because that's the story/characters themselves saying FUCK YOU to to the readers. Some people in the fandom also justify the bad things that happened in the story is because the original webcomic had always been trolling us. Hussie had always had an asshole persona, so it is just in nature for the writers to also troll the audiences. But that has lost all its meaning at this point that it's hard to tell what's genuine or what's suppose to be a joke. So all it ends up being is watching a shitty fanfic and shitty choices that nobody knows who to blame. Ult Dirk? Alt Calliope? Andrew Hussie? WhatPumpkin? James Roach? HICU? Or us for liking this series and had wanted to see it be better and have a legacy? The series fumbled when it was under Viz Media and the only way to read Homestuck is through an unofficial collection. Where the fuck can this series go even as the Kickstarter game is still in development hell after 10+ years since it was funded and the last update on that Kickstarter was just in 2021?

[ghost-jester-sys]

The systems misusing nonverbal and semiverbal upset me so much. We are bodily semiverbal. We have difficulty communicating and it's only worsened by our dissociation and schizospec stuff. We have many alters that are semiverbal and even have alters formed specifically to help communicate sometimes because we seriously cannot. And even then sometimes they fail to communicate for us.

It makes us upset seeing systems and anyone misuse them. We are dumb and we are slow. We have cognitive and mental disabilities. We struggle to think and understand a lot. And even we know that if we do not fully understand words that we do not feel comfortable using them.

It very easy to just not use words or to learn about them. Even as a ramcoa survivor and polyfrag system we still don't use subsystem because we cannot fully understand it. And it's okay to not understand. Sometimes it takes months before we use words and understand them. It takes us a while of learning between reading actual professional resources and personal experiences to understand. We still don't understand some of our own stuff. We still can't talk about schizotypal stuff even though we very much live it.

Feels like people see words and just go "Oh that me!" and don't even try to understand. Or try to understand what means beforehand. And cannot relate to that because always been scared about not understanding or misusing words so always try to make sure I understand best I can before using them. Because I know I can be very slow if not easily written out like a vocab word in elementary school. It takes time for us to use words to describe our own experiences because along with time accepting it, it takes time to even understand it. Like we know we polyfrag and ramcoa now, but took us months to learn and just as if not longer to accept. Because could not understand and comprehend.

I thought everyone would do this kind of thing. Look at professional sources and then try to understand them and also find people to help explain or people that experience it. And we are notoriously bad at research and stuff cause we are very slow and dumb. Does make us slightly salty about it though. But I know most people never mean harm. Still frustrating and hope more systems try to learn before hopping on using words especially when many are professional and medical words, not just community terms for funsies. They have meaning. They have purpose. They exist for reason. Meaning sticks to meaning.

(sorry for longer vent and sorry for if not word right cuz as we said we are dumb and semiverbal and struggle to communicate so tried to get thoughts out and stuff. Apologizing because very anxious and helps feel better if say sorry.)

But this just to say yes very frustrating and very glad someone says it. Semiverbal for semiverbal bodily. Nonverbal for nonverbal bodily. Permanent state. Not something go to. Important for these words to keep meaning when most of community already ignored nonverbal and semiverbal people. :( Systems too. Do not use nonverbal and semiverbal. Leave for systems that bodily nonverbal and bodily semiverbal just as they'd be for non-systems that are nonverbal and semiverbal.

(really hope made sense, always worry come off wrong, been treated poor for semiverbal struggles before :( sorry if too venty)

Hey you have no need to apologise!

I'm really grateful you resonated with this as a system who's also semiverbal bodily.

I just want to say, you aren't at all dumb okay? I hope you can learn to feel better about yourself and your disabilities and verbality

(Sorry for reply being short CFS is kicking our butt rn)

[rustycottoncandy]

Here's some school doodles from yesterday I forgot to share:

Bonus under the cut: Henry in a bride dress but I hadn't warmed up previously so his face looks like a melted popsicle + some scene doodles from the Puppetteer Henry AU (an idea I had a couple days ago in which Henry possesses Ethan after his death because he's so fucking spiteful. And also because he can't stop existing unless he gets exorcised and he really fucking hates being a ghost. It's a little edgy but fuck it they're my characters and I have a lot of fun spinning them in my head). I put them under the cut because some images include blood and scars, and because they're acccompanied by an obnoxiously long lore-drop.

^(Never happens, they can't talk, Ethan's dense as hell, that's just a silly doodle)

Some context as to why they want Ethan to die - possessing somebody ties you to that somebody, it's like the stupidest thing you can do as a ghost, making it so that you can't be reincarnated unless that person dies or you get exorcised. You can also get tied to a living person if that person was the cause of your death.

Things are a lot more complicated in this story, though, there's a gazillion points I would probably take much longer to explain than I'd like to but basically Henry's fucking weird. He died by the hands of one of his roommates and then got reincarnated into Nathaniel, a character who I hardly ever talk about here, when he got his roommate to commit suicide, around five years after his own murder.

Now the thing is that 13-year-old me wanted to stir drama, so she made it so that Ethan was one of Nathaniel's parents and Ethan used to have a very close relationship with Henry. But then things happened and Henry became extremely unhealthy to be around (well, he's sort of always been extremely unhealthy to be around but he got even worse) and stuff between them got really tense. They broke up, Ethan went on to continue with his own life and take care of himself, Henry started taking his frustration out on his roommates, booooooooooommmmmm Henry dies.

ANYWAY why do I mention the relation between Ethan, Henry and Nathaniel? Because Nathaniel's wayyyy too curious for his own good and finds out about Henry's existence by looking through his father's old pictures and as the stupid little 13-year-old he is, he tries to dig up as much information about him as he can because he's so darn curious about this undead-looking guy his dad once knew apparently?? But uh-oh he triggers Henry's memories and brings him back into existence :]

I know that doesn't make much sense but I don't give a fuck, I was 13 when I made that up and I love the characters too much to change the story.

Henry's there as a weird ghost, as a conscience, and sharing his soul with Nathaniel, since that's technically him, gives him the right in his eyes to use Nath's body as a vehicle to interact with the physical world. And so he does, hopping into the 'tied ghost' category after years of inexistence. And the kid is aware about his existence and they fucking hate each other's guts. So basically Henry sort of terrorizes him for.. I think two years? But then Cocoa dies and Henry starts spending time with Cocoa and leaving Nathaniel alone, and they get along overtime because Cocoa is fond of Nath and Henry doesn't want to upset Cocoa by making Nathaniel's life a fucking nightmare so they get along. Yay.

However, and here's where the AU is born, Henry still heavily despises being around. He's tired of being 'awake' and conscious and wants to rest and like, die for real, so him and Nathaniel do some research on ghosts and see if they can find any spells or rituals to separate tied ghosts from the living person they're tied to and allow them to fully pass away. AND THEY DO AND NATHANIEL CASTS IT BUT IT DOESN'T KILL HENRY IT JUST SEPARATES HIM FROM NATH AND MAKES IT SO THAT HE CAN'T POSSESS HIM ANYMORE SO NOW HENRY'S STILL AWAKE AND BORED OUT OF HIS MIND AND HE'S STILL GONNA HAVE TO WAIT FOR NATHANIEL TO DIE PROBABLY? (Which he doesn't, by the way! He can choose to dissappear, he just assumes that he can't because a-oop, he's still conscious).

So since he can't interact with the physical world through Nathaniel's vessel anymore and he's so fucking bored, he decides he'll try to communicate with Ethan somehow. Just to see how he'll react. To give him a scare, even. He tries giving him signs that he's there but he's a weird kind of ghost so he can't even move objects cause he's so fucking pathetic, SO he possesses Ethan to try and communicate with him through post-it notes. Boom, he's tied again. Congratulations, Henry.

He starts using Ethan's vessel to interact with the physical world very moderatedly at first, like maybe to just eat a yogurt or go through a late night walk, but Henry is Henry and minutes of possessions turn into days, weeks, and even months. And he hasn't actively tried to take care of a human body since he was like seven and alive so Ethan's health drops significantly, both physically and mentally. And now he's gonna have to wait for ETHAN to die if HE wants to die which fucking sucks for Henry but hey he got himself into this situation. Anyway, silly doodle dump:

Lore-building ⬇

Double-bonus // Me explaining ghost types:

DENIAL GHOSTS: Those who don't know or don't want to believe that they are dead. They will be reincarnated once then accept their own death.

WANDERERS: Those who choose to roam the astral realm volountarily. They can choose when to be reincarnated.

TIED GHOSTS: Those who tie themselves, volountarily or not, to a living person. This can happen if they make the stupid choice of possessing someone, or if they've been killed by that someone (murder victims will be tied to their murderers, as is the case with Henry when he first dies). They will be reincarnated when the person they're tied to dies (unless they get separated from their magnet via a spell or a ritual, in which case, they will become Wanderers).

SUICIDAL GHOSTS: Those who took their own life. They will be reincarnated once they spend the same amount of years they had when they died as a ghost.

GUARDIANS: Ghosts who, despite having died from natural causes or accidents refuse to be reincarnated immediately in order to look out for their loved ones. They will be reincarnated when they choose to.

SPITEFUL GHOSTS: Ghosts who, despite having died from natural causes or accidents refuse to be reincarnated immediately in order to haunt those who have wronged them. They will be reincarnated when they either forgive their enemies, or witness their enemies' death.

[siennaditbot]

I don't like to rant about personal stuff online but my mom said smth that really bugged me and I thought yall could relate.

I like to draw cartoony stuff, mostly humans and Sonic characters. I have dabbled in realistic art but it's not really my thing, you know?

My mom's always frustrated whenever I show her my Sonic stuff. "Those characters again, you should draw something different!"

Today she said that I should try making "real art" so she could see if I'm actually good. I was drawing a cartoony self portrait.

"Real art."

I get it. Mona Lisa and all the other fancy paintings etc, it's what people think art is.

But art can be silly doodles. Wild expressions. Messy sketches. Anthropomorphic animals doing human things. Exaggerated movement. Unrealistic body proportions.

Realism is art, sure, don't get me wrong.

But art isn't necessarily realism.

I grew up with cartoons and comics. My brother taught me to read before school and I read the same comics he did. Tintin, Asterix and Obelix, Lucky Luke and a lot of Donald Duck.

Those had an effect on me, especially Don Rosa's Scrooge McDuck stuff and the Italian Donald Duck artists whose names I can never remember.

The stories and the way they were told. The expressions and funny things happening in the background. Varying line weights.

Cartoony stuff isn't childish. It's exaggeration of things that realistic things do portray. It's creative. Fun.

Art is so much more than portraits or landscapes. It's bringing life and character to things that might not even exist or be impossible. It's storytelling. It's passion.

There's no "real art".

All art is art.

Don't deprecate people's hobbies and interests. Just because they're not painting the next Mona Lisa doesn't mean they're any less of an artist.

Let people express themselves.

If you don't, you just might cause them to stop making art completely. Or stop showing their art to you.

Be nice.

Make art the way you want.

[iiiiiiis-things]

"infernal hell"

pairing: Vox x femblack!reader

cw: valentino (tried to tone him down here), cursing, bitchiness, slight nswf, lmk if i missed anything .

blurb: how you died and climbed you way to the top with the vees & your relationship with vox .

a/n: hey .. 😗 look yall i js- school has been- man look js buy my lip gloss yall . the color in my writing is js to add a little pop to the story & i didn't color code everything, but in the flashbacks everything in red are either related to or ARE the lyrics (click if ydk what im talking about)

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"yes darling, more-"

*SNAP*

"you're making me SO horny right now"

*SNAP*

"arch your back just a tad more baby"

*SNAP* *SNAP*

"YES !! eat those bitches up for breakfast, lunch AND dinner !!"

*SNAP*

Valentino continues to feed into your already enormous ego with his encouraging words, following his instructions you arch your back just a tad more against the soft, white, silky sheets beneath you. you were at a photoshoot, obviously- and all the flashing cameras and bright lights? oh yeah, definitely your scene. The way that as soon as you stepped inside the studio, you stole everyones attention as their eyes were specifically on you, from melting your lace, to putting on a soft glam, and even getting dressed everyone was waiting for you !! the star of the show. you were modeling for Valentino's new lingerie line for his limited edition valentine's day collection collab with velvette that was coming out in just two weeks from now. now originally- you weren't even supposed to be the one advertised, you decided to take the place of your friend so he doesn't have to deal with all the bullshit that val puts him through. it only took a little convincing pink looks ten times better on brown.

you sit up and straddle the bed and grab your tits softly toying with them through the bra as your robe falls off of your left shoulder. "oh yeah babe that's the stuff, don't be scared to pop a tit!!" moving around into a more lewd pose you lie flat on your back and spread your legs wide open while grabbing the back of your ankles, the lacey baby pink panties on display for the multitude of cameras that were being operated by Val to zoom in on, causing your boyfriend, Vox, who has been standing next to him this whole time (visibly irritated), screen glitch out for just a spilt second while letting out a groan in anger.

"alright that's enough!! you've gotten enough pics asshole now can we please wrap this up ??" Vox eyes grows and shrinks in size as he lets out his frustrations "babe we're only 3 hours in.." you're now sitting up cross cross with your hands filed over your chest. val leans into him in a teasing manner "awww cmon, just a few more?? I'll even save the most explicit ones for you voxy poo-" "stop calling me that." Vox immediately shuts down the nickname and quickly walks up to the platform, "can we talk?.." he takes a quick moment to look around "alone?" his eyes are narrow and his eyebrows are furrowed, which lowkey worried you and although you weren't exactly ready to take a break just yet, the way Vox looks at you is agonizing- saying there's something he needs to get off his chest, and knowing vox- it would remain on his chest until he could tell you the problem, in private letting out a small sigh you give in. "fine" quickly hopping off the surprisingly comfortable bed you yell out "sorry Val- everyone take 30!!"

everyone starts to scurry around including valentino who lets out a few curses in spanish under his breath. now on your feet Vox takes the leads as the two of you stroll through the halls to your dressing room. He opens the door and waits for you to come inside, after walking in he closes the door behind you, you sit down in your dressing chair touching up your lip liner "so? what's the problem?" "babe, I love you, I really do and i know how much you want to help that slu- i mean- your friend who is an actual sinner with feelings, i'm trying to support you- but i don't like the idea of you in lingerie on hundreds of bill boards, magazines, and god knows what else val might think of to make money." as he continues to rant he paces around your trailer with his hands on his head, obviously upset.

"I told you, this is only a one time thing" you understood why vox was upset. he's a man who doesn't like to share. "I just need you to trust me" after fixing your edges you set the comb down, standing from your chair, walking over to him wrapping your hands around his neck as his hands slides down your waist and down to your thigh, lightly stroking it "it's not you i don't trust" his hands trails back upwards lifting your robe to settle on your ass "it's him" squeezing a nice handful of it, he brings your body closer to his "babe- we've been over this.. Val wouldn't voluntarily do anything to hurt me or make me uncomfortable and we both know this ." he sighs and you rest a hand on his chest "Besides i think i look pretty good in this" Vox let's out a frustrating groan, leaning his head (screen 💀) into the crook of your neck "which is exactly why I don't want the world to see you, you're mine and mine only" oh how you loved it when he got possessive like this . you couldn't help yourself but to laugh at him, he lifts his head looking at you in confusion "what's funny ?" "you're hot when you get possessive" before he could respond there was loud banging on the door

"fav !! you in there ?! i've got food !!"

you were a popular bitch. hot bod, hot boy, cheer captain, plus you were rich and it was towards the end of your senior year, the time where some people was stressing over finals, college, prom. while others was just ready to leave this shit hole . today was a game day so you were obligated to wear your cheer uniform alongside your brand new kurk geiger purse you had just used your daddy's card to purchase not to long ago. your fresh braids, that were pulled into a high ponytail, with a white ribbon tied into a neat and perfect bow, swung from side to side as you held your binder close to your chest and made your way down the hallway to the small crowd that was forming. stopping infront of the group you look around until you make eye contact with velvette, each of you on the opposite side of the room, the two of you make the tacit decision to go around the crowd and meet up

"hey babe, what's going on?" you questioned her as she typed away on her phone. before she answers your question she holds out her phone infront of the two of you "selfie!" you make a quick cute pose as she snaps the pic and clicks to check it

"ugh cuteee this is definitely going on my main . anywaysss Julie Jenkins lost a leg in a wreck and everyone's depicting her as some type of female heroine" she continued typing on her phone, most likely posting the picture the two of you had just taken. you grew upset as everyone was being overly chatty with this 'jenna' bitch, leaving you with no attention (making you feel slightly insecure) "the fuck? why is everyone being so sympathetic? we have other things to worry about like prom" velvette looks at you and laughs "fav, seriously, relax we both know you got this in the bag" she nudges your shoulder, giving a knowing smile. and this ? this is exactly why she was your favorite. she knew you- the real you, not the persona you displayed for everyone. hell she knew you better then your own boyfriend did. the binder that you held close to your chest is now in vel arms as you begin making your way to the girl in the wheelchair, you didn't have to push anyone out the way to get to her, because the crowd made a clear path just for you .

"hey! jenna right ??" you speak in a fake nice tone eyes blown wide and a huge grin on your face . "oh um actually it's julie" the girl was obviously shy, her rosy cheeks became a shade darker, your presence slightly intimidating her, "shit im sorry, im y/-" "y/n. i know we take computer science together" you started at her for a moment as she had spoken with attitude, 'who the fuck is she talking to?' you think staring at her with your mouth open tryna to figure how to respond with out coming off as mean, after all- you still had a reputation to maintain

"i'm sorry that was rude" jenna apologizes, pushing her thick, black, glasses back up her face "no- no it's on me !! i guess i just never noticed you before" "we were partners once..." she had managed to gag you once again and you were starting to get irritated because this amputated bitch was making you look bad in front of damn near the whole school; seriously who even was she ?! standing with your mouth open, you scratch the skin between your lip and nose, letting out a fake laugh "god i'm so sorry you know with everything going on-" you look down digging into your expensive purse looking for a writing utensil "cheer, finals, prom- i've just been so swamped" pulling out a marker you bite off the cap "and for that-" you kneel down infront of her wheel chair, still speaking with the cap between you teeth, you gently grab her casted arm and look up into her eyes "i sincerely apologize" looking back down you sign your known nickname (so she could feel some sense of comfort with you) in big cursive letters taking up almost the whole space on the front . julie had a big smile plastered on her face, happy that some one as popular as you had been the first one to sign their name on her cast . quickly getting up you walk away meeting back up with vel and hearing in the commotion behind you everyone asking to sign her cast right next to your signature.

[zaagi-studies]

uni accessibility rant [indigenous version]

whenever profs say they wanna see me succeed or they care abt disabled students i rly wanna ask "do you want me to be cured so i can be the best student ever or do you wanna make exceptions every now and then so i can actually perform the knowledge we both know i have???"

like a few things that piss me off

profs (both white allies & natives) teaching about the importance of oral knowledge transmission / how colonial the system is YET saying "i'm sorry i can't do visual or oral-based assessment methods for you" EVEN THO THE RUBRIC IS THE SAME

profs teaching about generational trauma and the health effects of colonialism (mainly substance use disorder & FASD in my case) just to not be accessible or make exceptions because it's inconvenient for them personally,, despite the fact they get paid over 100k a year to teach this shit

"if you were struggling you should've reached out sooner" i have a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects communication bro IM TRYING MY BEST

my worst prof not taking accountability for the way her transphobia has made me feel and how it contributed to my mental health which affected my attendance

"if i do this for you, i have to do this for everyone else too" UNLESS EVERYONE HERE IS REGISTERED WITH THE ACCESSIBILITY PEOPLE THEN NO YOU FUCKING DONT ACTUALLY

it sucks so much cause even tho i'm good friends with the other disabled (similar stuff like adhd & autism) students i can't relate to them because of stuff like :

they have very low support needs compared to me (they can balance part time work & full time school, lack physical health problems, etc)

most don't even recognize themselves as disabled tbh

none of them have idiopathic hypersomnia and are genuinely shocked i'm capable of going to school when i say "researchers consider my condition to be the equivalent of an average person staying awake for 3 days straight, like that's my baseline level of feeling awake and i require another person to give me medication so i can stay awake"

most of their struggles in school seem to be based around comprehending the knowledge from class & organization, not performance-based or executive dysfunction-based (which our university has no idea how to support)

none of them have pathological demand avoidance

most get financial support from their band which makes life wayyy easier

some of them outright pay other people to do their assignments and/or use ai which i'm not rly comfortable doing

all of them can use stress/fear/anxiety/etc as a motivator to get shit done but that doesn't work on me anymore and just leads me to feel paralyzed (like if there's flight/fight/freeze/fawn, they're doing fight while i'm doing freeze

just wanna make it clear i'm not hating on my classmates !! i'm happy they can thrive in a system that wasn't designed for disabled ppl. as someone who isn't thriving i feel very dumb and misunderstood all the time (even amongst disabled peers) which is very frustrating/lonely !!

edit: idk how to explain this shit to people because whenever i talk about these problems, other people want to try to fix the problems (natural response imo), but i've already spents years on stuff like adhd medication, antidepressants, life coaching, peer-tutoring, peer-coaching, various forms of therapy, self-education, reading neurodivergent specific self-help books, using neurodivergent specific journalling prompts, etc.

at this point i feel very comfortable saying my issue is with the school system not allowing me to use the methods of assessment that are best for me, not my struggle to communicate or comprehend the world around me. when i attended an online school that was literally called "flex ed" because it was designed to be flexible to each individual student (in terms of asking for different methods & you could choose how long each course was), i was so happy and successful which is how i got the good grades to go on to study at a top university. i don't need other people to fix me, i need people to take me seriously when i talk about what's best for me

[shihalyfie]

Hi. I'm someone who has been planning to rewatch Digimon Frontiers. I remember watching it as a kid, but hoping to rewatch it as an adult to see how it still holds up. Before that though, I've been wondering about how that series has treated Izumi in light of a lot of the fandom's complaints about her. I've only watched the American English dub, but I am wondering about why she was written as she was and how it differs from the Japanese version. I also saw your meta on the writers for her episodes, honestly surprised that her episodes were written by female writers. I can use your perspective on why she was written that way since you seem more knowledgeable about the franchise as a whole.

I'm also curious how much romance has actually been a thing in the Digimon franchise, or if it is mainly just a small subplot that's usually kept in the back.

I appreciate any information you can give.

Hello! Thank you for dropping by!

Regarding Frontier and Izumi, to be honest, I don't really think there are too many substantial differences between the American English dub and original Japanese version to the point I could make any in-depth analysis. (There are changes, but it's in a very vague blanket realm of "the insults and bantering are a little harsher", and it's definitely not Adventure or 02 level.) The Japanese version has the infamous "Sexy Dynamite" frame, so one might argue that it was even worse about it, but small details aside, I think the good points and the complaints you could make are pretty much the same.

As for why the writing around Izumi is so glaring compared to prior (and perhaps most other) Digimon series, I honestly can't say. As far as female creator presence in the main staff room goes, as you mentioned, Izumi's key episodes were by female writers, and Seki was still producer. And on top of that, while Tomita fully admitted that he had a hard time writing girls, I honestly can't believe that's the (sole?) cause of it when I look at his other portfolio works, including some fan-favorite episodes of Sailor Moon and, in general, some magical girl series with excellent female characters.

Perhaps it's the fact that it's the first Digimon anime series to not have any involvement from Yoshimura Genki (who was responsible for most of the writing around Ruki in Tamers and is currently known as a hardcore feminist), or perhaps Bandai panicking about the franchise's poor sales made them lock down harder on "we need to Please the Boys" (something that does sometimes end up in being neglectful of female characters), or perhaps the fact that Izumi was the only girl in the core group made them more inclined to treat her like the Designated Girl Character™ of the series...but this is all speculation, and your guess is as good as mine, especially since we have so little information on Frontier's production compared to others.

As for the question on romance, it's pretty much always been a subplot at best, most likely because the majority of major human characters in the franchise are elementary to middle school age and are thus way too young to be considering "serious" romance or relationships (middle school being probably the youngest you can push the limit as treating a relationship as "serious" instead of just being a puppy crush). Moreover, Adventure and 02 seemed to take the stance of "romance is a part of one's life, but not the most important thing in one's life" (something that seems to have frustrated a lot of fans regarding the series not caring enough about shipping), so even stuff related to Yamato and Sora is carefully squared off to the side like it's not anyone's business. As much as I like to make ship-related jokes, if asked in a serious context, I personally never believed that most of anyone's behavior towards anyone in Adventure or 02 had legitimate romantic sentiment behind it, mostly because they were too young for it; even Daisuke's crush on Hikari comes off to me as him being clingy because she's cute and not really taking the time to think about what the next steps would entail.

Other than Yamato and Sora, putting one-sided humorous crushes aside, the closest to explicit depictions of (human) romance that actually seem plot-relevant would probably be Takato and Juri in Tamers, which even then is not really that explicit (although the people involved in its creation love to talk about it like it's a sort of damsel-in-distress plot), and Kiriha and Nene in the Xros Wars manga, which also is prominent and related to the plot but also not that big of an element in it. Sometimes it seems like it's milking the concept of romance more than it's usually done in practice (an episode of Savers is styled like it's Yoshino having a love story with a childhood friend, but if you actually watch the episode it's at most just her having mixed feelings about a childhood friend falling from grace). So it's honestly been a series that's hands-off with romance for the most part, with most of the shipping and romance-related content being on the part of the fans.

By the way, the official reason there's no explicit depiction of Yamato and Sora in Kizuna (despite them being a known endgame canon couple) is that it would have been overly conspicuous and obstructive in a movie that only had 90 minutes to tell its story. (I know there are a lot of people who think the real reason is "because it was controversial and they don't want to get people mad," but personally, I feel that if they were worrying about controversy, they wouldn't have given Kizuna such a controversial premise in the first place!) So I imagine that's the main reason we've gotten so little romance; it's exactly because it's such a crowd-pleaser and overly conspicuous element that they want to avoid it, because Digimon is frankly a complex franchise with a lot of expectations and mechanics that it needs to worry more about, and it's hard to cram a prominent romance plot in there in a way that would be tonally appropriate.

[ravenandmoon]

I guess this is a journal entry...

Going back into my practice is always scary. I feel like i'm a bad devotee, i feel like I have hurt my sweet Apollon (because in one year of active practice things have changed), I think everything I do is either bad or not enough, this is sometimes frustrating and hard but I still try ! I did two tarot readings this week, one yesterday with Aphrodite Areia, which was harsh and shadow work related 'cause that's how my devotion works with Her. And this morning with Apollon who made me feel way better about everything, which was huge to me 'cause I was wondering if He was mad at me. Maybe He is not ? This is quite hard for me to accept that softness from Apollon, Hermes, Erebos, Hestia... when I focus more on Hekate, Aphrodite and others who are not nurturing at all (except when it's needed).

This year I'm back at school, my college is great, but I need time and help to process some stuff. First of all, the fact that I felt so much alone I had to go back in my family's house for a time because I had so much anxiety it became painful. It took me so many days before I could start putting together my altars (which i still struggle with cause i used pinterest images for my moodboard and I'm not really okay with doing that, yet i didn't find any economical ways to do better for now). I finished a first bit of editing in my new novel, this was huge because it's a big boy already and I'm still in the beginning of the story but I love it so far. This year I will focus more on my relationship with Athena, it started a bit february along with Hermes because I had some stuff to work on, but now it'll almost be a "at least two years of devotion" to Her cause well, i'm working on becoming a librarian and I think it fit Her well (and also Hekate who I often associate with a teacher/mentor and also a gatekeeper which here will not fit because by definition a librarian is the opposite but, you never know).

...I think that's all for now, have a great day/night !

[unikhroma]

hiii i have some .. taizo headcanons.. a lot of them actually and i want to share them so here is post

as per usual this ended up being far longer than i anticipated my fucking god🔥🔥 help🔥🔥🔥🔥

- taizo got really used to being attacked by monsters and such from the events of the dig dug games, and as a result he's really jumpy and always watching his surroundings (explanation for why in cutscenes he's often in the BG looking off to the side ?!)

- related to the above thing, he's compelled to keep his drill-harpoon thing around out of concern that something will get the jump on him and he needs to be prepared

- taizo gets antsy if he spends too much time away from the underground due to being obsessed with drilling (something that was in namco high as the reason why masuyo divorced him; i wanted to incorporate that info into my headcanon stuff)

- i HC him as being autistic, it kinda just makes sense to me idk. i think him being extremely focused on his interests and goals + not going off of social cues + his bluntness + his tendency to misunderstand things is what makes me think that (mostly going off of my personal experiences)

- he really likes undergrounders but he has a job to do by stopping them from making blocks and all that. he spends time with them when he's not doing any particular task

- he keeps up with kowars' fan site of him <3 he sends an occasional message correcting him on info

- people not recognizing him as much as they used to and not being taken seriously is more than just a thing that angers him. it makes him feel sad as well, but he doesn't want to hurt his pride by admitting it. i think susumu can tell that it hurts him but has no idea how to address that because he is a kid

- he misses masuyo a lot even though they see each other every week. i think they genuinely feel connected to each other in an emotional sense, especially since they both have a fond way of talking about the other*. it's that taizo's obsession was taking time away that could've been spent with the kids and masuyo has her own ambitions that don't align much with his

*as far as i'm aware we only have one line in mr driller about masuyo from taizo but it's him reminiscing about their wedding which is really sweet

- this one is a headcanon for ataru as well. ataru had graduated at the top of his class in [drill school here], but felt that the guidelines necessary to be registered as a driller were too restrictive. he mentioned doing it iillegally instead, and taizo had a huge problem with this. drilling is something he views as being sacred and he wanted ataru to get into this profession in a safe way if that makes sense

he argued with ataru about it, resulting in ataru running away out of frustration and anger. naturally, taizo feels bad about it and often imagines a different timeline where he approached this in a way that didn't result in ataru leaving. he sometimes goes out of his way to see if he can find him whenever he's off adventuring

..he still thinks that ataru should be registered and is making a mistake by illlegally drilling, but he's more sympathetic about it nowadays

- he's short as hell. i know this in my heart. in seriousness, it's cause i kept noticing that in a bunch of scenes between G and drillland, he looked short compared to the rest of the characters on screen (not in every single scene, but in a good portion of them)

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