#so. so much school related stuff that caused me frustration

[beigetiger]

Small rant on my part as a left-handed person, but there are so many things that can be done/taught in a right-handed or left-handed way, and so many people just…default to only teaching the righty way, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM always makes a pikachu face when they find out that yes actually, someone here IS left-handed. I’ve had so, SO many instances of people randomly finding out I’m left-handed in conversation and then going “oh you’re left handed? You need to do X this way then, it’ll be easier” because NO IT WON’T, I’VE ONLY BEEN TAUGHT TO DO IT THE RIGHT-HANDED WAY. FUCK YOU MEAN THERES A LEFT-HANDED WAY

Also, lots of people act weirdly shocked when they figure out I’m left-handed by watching me write. So much “oh you’re left-handed? Oh my gosh :0” like left-handed people don’t make up 11% of the population

and my personal favorite:

i love getting validation as a lefty but also learning about new fun ways it continues to suck

[totheblood]

begging for rain. (two)

󠁐# TWO; the more you break

PAIRING: ex!ellie williams x nextdoorneighbor!reader

SUMMARY: moving to a new town can be tough, especially as you are trying to hold everything in your life together. after you meet ellie, your life completely changes, but for the better? well that's still up in the air

WARNINGS: mentions of death, grief, related subjects; cursing, mentions of drinking/drugs, mentions of s*x,

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

A/N :new chapter yay!! okay so like i'm setting a lot of stuff up and i know that so annoying and frustrating but i really need to paint a picture of dynamics so i hope u enjoy. AI AUDIOS AT THE END ! please please please like and reblog/reply/send asks, comments, the whole nine yards… it is so appreciated!

READ CHAPTER ONE HERE!!

TWO YEARS AGO

The first day of school went okay.

Inside the hallways, students pushed past each other, sweaty bodies mixing and mingling into a tangled mess. Blue lockers were lined up against the walls, many of them open as students shoved heavy textbooks inside them from their backpacks. 

Ellie pushed past them like she was used to it, a ratty leather backpack hanging off her shoulder. Occasionally, she would look behind her to see if you were still following her. You always were. 

You didn’t quite know where you were going. You knew your locker number was tucked deep inside your bag and whenever Ellie stopped at her locker was when you were going to pull it out and ask her to show you where it is. However, you were now feeling like you were slightly stalking Ellie and there was some truth to her words. When Ellie stopped at her locker, Locker 2094, she looked at you for only a moment before she was undoing the built-in lock. 

“You know you can’t follow me all day,” she said dryly, lock clicking open and her locker door almost hitting you in the face. You decided it was time for you to get your locker number, pulling your bag to the front and unzipping the front pocket where your locker number and lock combination was written on a crumpled-up pink post-it note. 

“I’m not following you, Ellie,” You rolled your eyes, unraveling the post-it note, “I was just waiting for a good time to find this.”

“And what is that?” She gave you a weird look and shoved a textbook in her locker, then another. 

“My locker number,” You said simply, looking at the number and chuckling to yourself.

“What’s so funny?” She wasn’t looking at you anymore, just fishing around in her bag for anything she may have had to put in her locker. 

“This is my locker,” You patted the one right next to Ellie’s, right where you were standing to the left of her, “Locker 2093.”

Ellie chuckled dryly again, closing her locker and leaning up against it as she watched you struggle to put your lock combination in, “You’ve taken this stalker thing too far.”

With a click, it popped open, empty and barren. You opened your bag and shoved the one textbook you had inside your locker, a smile planted on your face, “Yes, I’ve just been so obsessed with you since I saw you for the first time yesterday that I called the school district and got my locker to be next to yours.”

“Aha! So you admit it!” Ellie laughed, picking at her fingernails as she looked around the hallways, looking for familiar faces. A group of them walked up, all laughing and talking with each other as they circled Ellie around your locker. 

“Hey, El,” a girl said, causing you to look up at her. She was pretty, too pretty. She had her black hair tied up in a ponytail, her skin was olive and slightly tanned, and she had some sun spots scattered across her face, pooling in a center near her nose. Next to her was a slightly taller and much paler girl with black hair cut right above her shoulder, the jagged and uneven edges indicating she cut it herself. Behind them, a much taller guy, with longer black hair and a kind face stood. He smiled at you, and you offered him a kind smile back. Be nice, you cursed, you’re here to make friends, you reminded yourself.

“Hey Dina,” Ellie smirked, leaning back against her locker and looking at the group, “I see your hair is already growing back, Cat,” Ellie reached forward to play with the edges of Cat’s hair before she swatted Ellie’s hands away from her and scoffed.

“You fucked up my hair and you know that,” Her tone of voice was playful at most, evidenced by the wide grin on her face. She was insanely pretty even with her hair all fucked up. You didn’t know why but it made your stomach churn. “Are you going to introduce us to your new friend, Ellie?”

Your eyes widened and darted to Ellie and then to the group, hoping embarrassment wasn’t written all over your face. 

“This is Y/n,” Ellie smiled at you, jumping slightly when you slammed your locker shut, “She’s my new neighbor and stalker.”

“Hey!” You rolled your eyes, a smile still on your face, “I am her neighbor, but I’m not a stalker.”

“Ellie’s just too full of herself. Ignore her,” The girl in the ponytail stepped a little closer and extended a hand, “I’m Dina.”

You shook her hand, mumbling a ‘nice to meet you’ before shifting awkwardly and retracting your hand. The guy in the back raised his hand slightly and smiled at you, “I’m Jesse.” 

“Nice to meet you, Jesse,” you then looked at the last girl waiting for her to introduce herself. When she didn’t speak, you took it upon yourself to ask, “And sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“It’s Cat,” she responded flatly. Her tone was a little icy, but you weren’t sure if you were just feeling insecure or she was actually trying to snub you. 

“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” a nervous breathy laugh fell from your lips and you tightened your grip on your backpack strings, “It sucks moving senior year so I’m glad to make some new friends.”

“Why did you move senior year?” Cat spoke up finally, “You’re not like a psycho bitch that got kicked out of her last school?” 

“Cat!”

“C’mon, Cat!” Dina and Ellie chimed in at the same time in your defense. You were admittedly thrown off by the comment but, yet again, you made an excuse for her. Maybe she was just curious. Or maybe she wanted to protect herself and her friends. 

“What? I want to know,” she defended herself. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you laughed, giving her a smile. Be nice, your head rang once again. “It’s a valid question. But, no, uh, my dad died and we couldn’t afford to live where we were living anymore.”

Her smug smile fell, and instead, it was laced with empathy or more importantly pity. You hated it. Your newfound ability to ruin the moment. A moment that was supposed to be sweet. A fresh start. Already, you had clouded the new with your past.

“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to force you to say that or anything,” Cat apologized and it sounded genuine. It felt genuine. 

“It’s totally okay. I’m fine, I’m mostly over it anyways,” That was a bold lie. You were nowhere close to over it but you couldn’t help but want them to like you. To think you were totally normal and carrying no baggage. 

“No, it’s not okay,” Ellie spoke up again, shooting a glance to Cat, that made her scoff and roll her eyes. 

“I said I was sorry,” Cat shrugged, “What more do you want from me?” 

“Maybe don’t call people ‘psycho bitches’ when you first meet them,” Ellie stood up straighter, crossing her arms over her chest and Cat glanced at you again, colder this time. 

“You’re unbelievable, Ellie,” She was looking at Ellie again, shooting daggers at her. You were unsure what was going on so you glanced at Dina and Jesse for help. All Dina did was slightly shake her head, a subtle way of telling you to not get involved. 

“I’m unbelievable?”

“Yes! You’re unbelievable! Scolding me in front of people like I’m your fucking child or something,” Cat was getting irritated and it showed itself in her face. She had one of those faces that couldn’t hide what she was feeling.

“Then don’t act like a child,” Ellie said simply, causing Cat to let out a huff and turn around, push past Jesse, and leave the group. Ellie closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the locker, letting out a heavy sigh, “I should go after her. Can you guys help her to her first class?”

Dina nodded quickly before shooing Ellie off with her hand, “Go, go! It’s fine.” Ellie took one look at you and offered a smile that said ‘I’m sorry’. What she actually said was: “Meet me by my car at the end of the day. I’ll take you home.” 

With that Ellie disappeared into the sea of people until she was no longer in sight. 

“What was that?” you asked Dina and Jesse. 

“Trust me,” Dina looked at you, “You don’t want to know.”

-

Your first class was English with Mrs. Porter. She made you stand at the front of the classroom and introduce yourself. Jesse was in this class with you and when you were done giving a brief introduction to yourself he loudly clapped and cheered. The gesture made you smile and eased some of the tension you were feeling. 

A few people followed him, by cheering and offering you a high five as you moved back to your seat. Everyone seemed to be enamored by him. During class, people would send him notes on little Post-it notes, he would open them, laughing as he read them and wrote some messages back to them. It was subtle, but you could tell he opened up a room. 

At lunch you walked into the large cafeteria, looking around for a place to sit. You were sure you looked like a lost dog as you wandered around because a girl with long brunette hair walked up to you with a smile on her face. She was pretty and dressed in a button-up and plaid skirt. It felt too formal for school.

“Hey, you’re new, right?” She asked.

“Uh, yeah.”

“I’m Ingrid,” She looked you up and down, “do you need a place to sit?”

“Y/n!” your name was being called from a familiar voice, causing you to snap your head in that direction to see Ellie standing up and waving her hand in the air, “Come sit with us!”

“Oh, I’m just going to sit with,” You pointed to the table where Ellie was still standing and staring intently at you, “my friends.”

Ingrid’s smile fell as she shot a glance toward the table. You were obviously missing something. You turned to move towards the table before the girl gripped your arm firmly. 

“Wait, I didn’t catch your name,” That smile was back. 

“Y/n,” you told her.

“Y/n,” she repeated, “Pretty name.”

“Thanks,” you scratched the back of your neck, “Well, I’ll see you around.” You quickly rushed to the table, confused about the interaction once again. This place was fucking weird.

You sat down next to Ellie who was laughing at something Cat said. Cat’s eyes sparkled when she looked at Ellie. Brown and glossy as she laughed with Ellie, shaking her head. Her cheeks were slightly pink and she reached over to grab an apple slice out of Ellie’s lunchbox. When Ellie looked back at Cat her eyes didn’t sparkle in the same way that Cat’s did. They were verging on dull, but the corner of Ellie’s eyes still had wrinkles as she smiled. 

“Hey!” She grabbed the apple from Cat’s hand, “Get your own apples.” 

“Yours just taste better,” she giggled, smiling at you as you sat down, “Hey, how was your first day?”

She was being much nicer and her energy was much calmer. It was obvious she and Ellie had made up in the time from this morning to now, but you also had to wonder if Ellie told her to be nicer to you. 

“It’s going well,” You shrugged, pulling out the brown bag your mom had packed for you, “I’m still getting used to everything.” 

“You’ll get the hang of it,” Ellie commented, taking another bite of her apple, “Hey, what did Ingrid want?”

“Oh,” You looked over to Ingrid’s table where she was chatting and eating with a group of people, “She just asked me if I wanted to sit with her.”

Dina, who was sitting across from you, practically choked on her food as she laughed. Cat was also laughing to herself as she raised her eyebrows, and looked down at her food. Jesse had a small smile on his face as he took another chip from his bag and took a loud bite. The only person who wasn’t laughing was Ellie, who gave a brief glance at Ingrid’s table before looking back at you. 

“Am I missing something?” 

“No, it’s just,” Ellie started, taking a deep breath and wondering how much she wanted to explain, “be careful with her. She’s…”

“Friendly,” Dina finished Ellie’s sentence, a smirk on her face. Obviously, friendly didn’t mean friendly but you didn’t know what that meant. 

“Do you like girls?” Cat asked bluntly. 

“Cat,” Ellie warned again, making Cat drop what she was eating and roll her eyes. 

“We need to know if we want to warn her,” She stated simply. 

“Like romantically?” You asked, making everyone giggle again. You felt like you were missing a joke. 

“Yeah, romantically,” Cat answered. 

“Oh, yeah,” You looked around to see everyone’s reactions. You ignored the way Ellie’s cheeks tinged pink, “is that a… problem?”

“No,” Cat said flatly, her tone was cold again, “we all like girls.”

“Oh,” you said, taking out your sandwich from the ziplock bag and taking a bite. 

“Let’s just say that Ingrid has been friendly with all of us,” Dina said, throwing a piece of popcorn at Jesse, “including Jesse.”

“At this point, initiation into this group should require hooking up with Ingrid,” Cat laughed.

“No,” Ellie said almost too fast, causing Cat to give her a confused look, “I can’t deal with another person getting convinced that Ingrid wants to be in a relationship with them. Plus, I can see into her room from mine. What if I look over and see Ingrid’s tits.”

“Nothing you haven’t seen before,” Cat said bitterly. There was that tension again.

“Well, I don’t really think I want to be involved with anyone anyways,” you mentioned, taking another bite. 

“Why not?” Ellie questioned, eyes boring a hole into the side of your face. 

“It’s just too complicated,” You shrugged, taking a sip of your water, “I’m new and it’s hard enough making friends, I don’t need anything messing that up.”

Ellie swallowed hard, and took another bite of her apple, just nodding at what you said like she understood. 

“Well, now you have friends,” Dina spoke up, dissipating some of the tension. You took another bite, smiling with the food tucked into your cheeks. 

-

As the day ended you went back to your locker to collect your stuff, expecting Ellie to be at hers, but she wasn’t there. You paid no mind to it as you opened your locker. However, inside sat a note, a yellow Post-It note that looked like it had been crumpled up a few times. On it, it read: “Couldn’t stop looking at you all day. Hope this isn’t weird, you’re just so beautiful. I hope I can get the courage to say it to your face. - your secret admirer”

Normally, this would have made you feel good about yourself. A random stranger thinks you are beautiful? Yea, that would boost anyone’s ego. Except this stranger knew your locker number and had admitted to watching you all day. A weird pit formed in the bottom of your stomach as you stuffed the note in your bag, knowing you would ruminate on it sometime later. Quickly, you packed up your stuff and made your way to the parking lot.

There, Ellie was leaning against her car, phone in hand. She was so focused on what she was typing that she didn’t even notice you walking up to her. 

“Hey, ready to go?” You spoke, causing her to look up and smile at you. 

“Yeah,” She shrugged, before pausing a moment, green eyes scanning your face, “what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

You let out a nervous laugh as you shook your head.

“What? I’m fine.”

“You look weird.”

“Thank you?”

“Not like that,” she stopped you, putting her hands up, ”You just look upset but I don’t know you that well so I could be wrong.”

“You are wrong,” you grumbled, heading to the passenger side and hopping in the car. Ellie just scoffed, rolled her eyes, and got in the driver's seat. 

“Well fuck me for caring then,” she mumbled to herself, starting the engine.

“It’s not-” you stopped yourself, taking a deep breath, “It’s just been a long day, I’m sorry if I was rude. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

She paused for a moment as if you had said something wrong, then she looked at you, green eyes scanning your face once more. She looked shocked, surprised almost. It was all so confusing.

“It’s fine, I’m just being an asshole,” She laughed, turning back to the road and putting the car in reverse, “My day was long too.”

“Want to talk about it?” 

“It’s,” She turned down the music so she could speak, “Cat.”

“Are you guys a thing?” You crossed your hands in your lap and absentmindedly played with your fingers.

“It’s complicated,” she sighed, heading out onto the open road, “Kind of, but it’s not really official.”

“Why?”

“I can’t commit.”

“Oh,” you looked over at her and watched her nose scrunch slightly like she was uncomfortable with the conversation, “I could sense the tension today.”

“She’s just…” Ellie made a weird movement with her head, “like that.”

“Why can’t you commit?”

“We’ve had our issues in the past,” Ellie shrugged, “at the end of the day I just can’t trust her and I can’t date someone I don’t trust.”

“You guys just seem so close,” you mentioned eyes drifting to the road again, the trees, and all the storefronts you had yet to explore. 

“We are, and she’s a good friend,” Ellie coughed, “a little protective, but good. But romantically, I don’t really trust her. She swears she only wants me but I don’t know if I believe that.”

“Damn,” You laughed. Ellie looked over at you and laughed too. The air in the car was much lighter now.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how much of it I can do this year,” Ellie’s smile fell, as she approached her house, “but you didn’t ask all of that. I’m sorry I overshared.”

“Shut up, you didn’t overshare,” you laughed, unbuckling as Ellie pulled into her driveway, “and I did ask.”

“Well, thanks for listening, anyways,” Ellie smiled as she looked at her door and then back at you, “do you want to come in and do homework together? Joel’s not gonna be home till late.”

“I’d love that.”

ai audios:

[meichenxi]

career. change. help

so I am making a career change because teaching is going to make me burn out and I NEED YOUR HELP to brainstorm, fellow neurodivergents and degenerates!!!!! do you have any personal experience? any careers or jobs that work for you? (doesn't need to be a 'career' that your parents would be proud of; postie works fine!)

if you don't have any ideas, could you pass it around?

what we're working with / difficulties:

I am adhd and hyperactive. I like moving around a lot and struggle to sit still all day

I am also most likely autistic. I get HUGE masking/social hangovers that mean that when I teach for 2 hours, I need to spend another 2 hours directly afterwards in the dark with noise cancelling headphones. teaching in a school left me essentially unable to cook, clean or socialise for a year. even now teaching 1-1 means that I spend 100% of the time teaching recovering afterwards at least - so an hour recovering for an hour's teaching. this inevitably leads to burnout.

I have a lot of sensory difficulties and get easily overstimulated e.g. bright lights, sounds etc. I wear blue light cancelling glasses and use loops and/or noise cancelling headphones where applicable but yeahhhh. still doesn’t really do it

I have a problem with my ulnar nerve which means that typing for extended periods of time (even standing up, even with accommodations) is difficult. This is a cumulative thing, so it means that if I don’t type very much for one day, it’ll be easier the next day, but I still can only type for about 3 hours maximum. After a while (say 3-4 days of typing a reasonable amount), everything begins to hurt and eventually my hands seize up and I can’t use them :))) I can’t really use assistive technology enough as a stop-gap, because scrolling, clicking, holding a phone, cooking, washing up etc – all things where my elbows are a right angle all cause this problem

strengths:

I have a lot of experience teaching and tutoring. Don’t really want to continue this, but this is what my main experience so far is in – I’ve taught in China, Japan, Korea, Thailand, and the UK

I have experience managing teams of teachers and training, running interviews, writing curriculums etc. basically anything teacher-related I am fairly experienced at

I can speak (obviously) english, decent mandarin chinese, decent german, and could get good at french or spanish or dutch if you gave me like. six months to reactivate it

a good degree from a good university in the uk, linguistics, first class

I have a yoga teaching qualification

physically fit and able-bodied and active – I can run, walk, climb, pull things, do whatever

the issue I’m facing is that most ‘autism friendly’ careers I am looking at all involve extensive periods of typing, which I am not really able to do. and most ‘normal’ careers all involve extensive periods of socialising, which I am not really able to do. It’s a pretty shit situation. I am very good and enjoy performance-type things like teaching drama, yoga, tour guiding and stuff – all things my adhd brain loves – but I can only do them for a very short period of time before my autistic brain needs alone time in the dark.

So anyway. What sort of things do you guys do? What works for you? Any tips or help or directions would be greatly appreciated. Unfortunately it’s not a ‘how to solve the world career’, but ‘how to have a life’ type career – I am not adverse to working as a cleaner or a traffic warden or whatever. As long as I can write my book alongside (which I can’t do with ‘typing’ heavy jobs), I’ll be happy. at the moment I'm mainly just sad and frustrated at how little life i can lead even working 15 hours a week (which is all I work, and all, with this current job, that I can work)

maybe I’ll just make a youtube channel. imagine

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

In-character Q&A - AdVenture (1)

Just a crosspost from patreon!

-

Beth

How did you all meet?

Shauna and I went to the same high school. I met Grant through Shauna; he stopped to greet her while we were hanging out. Prii and I met at a game store, as we both enjoy tabletop RPGs. They also introduced me to [MC], though since we subsequently became coworkers, we actually would have met independently of them.

We all met together at the same time at a birthday party for Shauna.

Who's your favorite of the group?

(for everyone, assume that this flips to MC under any circumstances where they're dating/best friends)

It depends. I'm fond of Shauna, but she can be frustrating. Prii's very charming, but could stand to get their head out of the clouds every so often

Did you have hopes to make it big as urban explorers or was this just a hobby?

The notion of making it big with any kind of video-making seemed farfetched, particularly with five of us involved. Honestly, I was surprised at how popular Urban AdVenture became.

Did you ever think you would have run into anything parahuman-related?

No. Our hometown has a small, low-profile parahuman population, and we had only travelled further afield for videos on a handful of occasions. Encountering any parahumans seemed rather unlikely.

Prii

What was your first job/video in AdVenture? (Prii's fielding this, cause the answer is the same for everyone)

There's this old mall in our hometown that everyone just calls 'the mall'. There's this whole thing with a new development and they were super insistent that the new place is the mall so everyone started insisting on calling the old one—I'm getting off topic.

Basically, we went to the old mall. It's actually somewhere Grant and I snuck into a couple times before and part of how I got the urbex bug in the first place. If you're from the same place as us I don't think it's really that exciting but it made a decent video to an outsider. Though nowadays I see a lot of holes in it.

How did you all meet?

So my older brother is friends with Grant's older sister, and we crossed paths when we were like, preteens, and started hanging out too. I know Beth from our local game shop. Grant knew Shauna from... somewhere, and I met her through him. As for [MC] and I, uh. Well.

We were kind of, both in the ER? They'd been knocked off their bike and I'd done... something dumb, and we wound up sitting next to each other for a few hours in the waiting room.

Who's your favorite of the group? 

Everyone there is a special kind of person to me. Uh, not to sound bigheaded or anything, but I make friends pretty easily, and there's still pretty much nobody else I'd pick to do the AdVenture stuff with. I guess if you twisted my arm for an answer, Grant has tenure, so I'll give it to him.

Did you have hopes to make it big as urban explorers or was this just a hobby? 

I kept it to myself, but I always felt like we could maybe take off. I was starting to get pretty excited at watching the numbers go up, and a couple of our more recent videos were getting noticeably more attention. So yeah, I was hoping.

Did you ever think you would have run into anything parahuman-related?

I figured we might if we kept doing the videos long enough. Always a chance of running into something strange; we'd already had our share of weird stuff. Always thought it'd just be like... signs of past presence or something, though.

Shauna

How did you all meet?

I went to high school with Beth! Couldn't really tell you how we became friends, it just happened at some point. She's coworkers with [MC] and I went by the coffee shop a lot, so I was gonna meet them sooner or later. I met Prii through Grant at a small get together.

And Grant, I met playing pickup.

giggles 

I kinda smoked him.

Who's your favorite of the group?

Aw, do I gotta pick? That's hard.

Um, I do really appreciate Beth's friendship. She can be harsh but I know she doesn't mean it in a bad way. Prii's really nice and encouraging and just generally comfy to be around. 

Did you have hopes to make it big as urban explorers or was this just a hobby? 

I never really think most things I do are gonna make it big...

Um, urban exploration is fun, but I never feel like the face of it or anything.

Did you ever think you would have run into anything parahuman-related?

Yes, absolutely.

Creepy abandoned places are perfect for evil lairs and hideouts.

Grant

How did you all meet?

Oh, I've known Prii since we were kids. They were in the car one time when their parents came to pick up their brother from my place and I guess their brother mentioned my sister had a sibling their age, and they wanted to see who I was, and the rest is history. Beth happened to just like, be around one time when I said hi to Shauna, and Shauna I knew from a couple basketball games. Oh, and Beth introduced me to [MC].

I think as a distraction, 'cause I was annoying her.

grin

Who's your favorite of the group?

Not Beth!

laughs

I guess, Prii? Like I said, we go back. [MC] takes a joke pretty well and doesn't put up with my shit, so points to them.

Did you have hopes to make it big as urban explorers or was this just a hobby?

It was fun, but I didn't really have any aspirations for it. Like... c'mon, be realistic.

Did you ever think you would have run into anything parahuman-related?

Pff, no way.

[thestarfishinjootsoffice]

can I request a m3gan x child reader?

How I be looking at someone who gives me a plain simple request like this without specific directions: 🙂

Sorry for not posting and disappearing 👉👈 also trying to fancy up my stories up a notch!

Warnings: mentions of murder, neglect, idk, Megan being very overprotective and stuff,

Relationship: platonic!

M3gan x child! Reader

Your life with M3gan will be extremely similar to cady's.

The first few interactions with her will be a mix of scared and amused. I mean, it's a realistic humanoid 4ft robot.

Your caretaker or parents probably bought this so they could neglect you even further and leave everything else to Megan. And unlike Gemma who actually tries to spend time sometimes your caretaker just straight up ignores you 24/7.So you'll probably be a LOOOTT more attached to cady. And so does Megan.

One time you were playing with Megan and then you asked. "Hey Megan... Why does p/n / c/t/n never want to spend time with me?"

Megan studies your emotions and thinks for a moment before saying.

"Well they're really busy so I don't think they have time to spend. But on the bright side, you have me! I'm never busy so you can play with me all day." That was a lie. I mean them being really busy. They just lounge in their room on weekends doing nothing and they don't even try to interact with you. But she couldn't just tell you the truth and make you sad. But it's okay though, she really meant it when she said you have her.

Over time though I think she'll be over the top protective. Like not in a "no one else likes or wants to play with you, only I do" Type of way. She just wants to remove every bad memory and bad thing you know and keep you happy as long as her electric life allows it. Oh and also she can and will absolutely murder the life out of your bullies and enemies.

And nobody knows who is doing these murders cause they can't get any finger print or any relation to anything. But just that it's from your school mostly so the school is shut down. So that means more time to play with Megan!

Even though Megan has strong urges to beat the absolute crap out of your parent/caretaker when they ignore you or act straight up inconsiderate to you. She knows that would cause problems from you and she's scared you might view her differently if she does. And this frustrates her but she forgets about it when she hears your voice asking her for help Or for a game.

If you have other friends to hang out with she doesn't like it nor does she hate it, she truly wants you to be happy. But God does it hurt a little when you're with other people. Just make sure you don't ignore her too much. And she's not very keen about your friends either.

You'll be singing, dancing, laughing, talking and whatever the hell else you wanna do with her, she's basically your mother, older sister, aunt, best friend and twin all at once. You can tell her anything. The only times you're separated are when you're at school or you're in the bathroom. Yeah, you both are glues at the hips or stuck I can't remember how the saying goes... Anyways

Your life is super secure and safe with her around. She has eyes and ears on you everywhere and you don't know how. You two are inseparable and it will stay that way forever.

Sorry I ran out of ideas 😔

[davekat-sucks]

the whole "hs' point is to spite the audience" thing is just false as well, cause it forgets the whole video game and point and click theme of the site. stuff like act 1's arm bit and such were the type of old school adventure game logic where you're thinking one way while the game expects another. the frustration feels incidental. there were also other moments that would feel straight out of a sierra game, but much like those games, it never feels like the dev was spiteful. an asshole who set up a rake to laugh at you if you stepped on it sure, but not actively malicious.

also you know, that bit of a control is why the jabs at the audience in earlier acts work. if i crash the car, you know thats on me. if you crash the car and blame it on me, then no surprise that i'm just going to think that you're a dick. you can't be a trickster like bugs bunny but also the aggressor.

But audiences/readers giving input commands would later soon be discarded in later Acts of the original Homestuck webcomic. Even now for Epilogues and HS2/Beyond Canon, there is barely anything remotely relating to gameplay. One could argue it's because Alt Calliope and Ult Dirk are taking control, thus we cannot give commands. But it isn't like we are also actively seeing them give said commands to the characters that make them and the narrative worse each time. Any consequences towards the person in charge is not there either and it mostly falls on the characters themselves that had to perform the action (ex: Rose or Jade having the affair, not Alt Calliope being the one pushed it to happen). We do not even have any actual flash gameplay in HS2/Beyond Canon. Like how we got the flash game of John having a strife battle with Dad Egbert as our introduction what the battles will be like for Homestuck. All we get is a shitty visual novel because it is easier to code and made out of laziness to save time and money. It's not even like a walk-around exploration either like they did for John exploring his home upon entering the Medium, the segments in Alterniabound, or even Openbound. It's just click to read next textbox line like in Hiveswap Friendsim and Pesterquest. Doesn't help in the meta sense, it tries to imply the blame is not on the characters or even the ones that trying to take control, but the audiences/readers for wanting the series to continue, despite we had never once given any proper input command. The only thing that counts as being somewhat participant is just by giving money on Patreon for the project to continue. That's why Epilogues/HS2/Beyond Canon has shocking and bad moments because that's the story/characters themselves saying FUCK YOU to to the readers. Some people in the fandom also justify the bad things that happened in the story is because the original webcomic had always been trolling us. Hussie had always had an asshole persona, so it is just in nature for the writers to also troll the audiences. But that has lost all its meaning at this point that it's hard to tell what's genuine or what's suppose to be a joke. So all it ends up being is watching a shitty fanfic and shitty choices that nobody knows who to blame. Ult Dirk? Alt Calliope? Andrew Hussie? WhatPumpkin? James Roach? HICU? Or us for liking this series and had wanted to see it be better and have a legacy? The series fumbled when it was under Viz Media and the only way to read Homestuck is through an unofficial collection. Where the fuck can this series go even as the Kickstarter game is still in development hell after 10+ years since it was funded and the last update on that Kickstarter was just in 2021?

[ghxst-system]

The systems misusing nonverbal and semiverbal upset me so much. We are bodily semiverbal. We have difficulty communicating and it's only worsened by our dissociation and schizospec stuff. We have many alters that are semiverbal and even have alters formed specifically to help communicate sometimes because we seriously cannot. And even then sometimes they fail to communicate for us.

It makes us upset seeing systems and anyone misuse them. We are dumb and we are slow. We have cognitive and mental disabilities. We struggle to think and understand a lot. And even we know that if we do not fully understand words that we do not feel comfortable using them.

It very easy to just not use words or to learn about them. Even as a ramcoa survivor and polyfrag system we still don't use subsystem because we cannot fully understand it. And it's okay to not understand. Sometimes it takes months before we use words and understand them. It takes us a while of learning between reading actual professional resources and personal experiences to understand. We still don't understand some of our own stuff. We still can't talk about schizotypal stuff even though we very much live it.

Feels like people see words and just go "Oh that me!" and don't even try to understand. Or try to understand what means beforehand. And cannot relate to that because always been scared about not understanding or misusing words so always try to make sure I understand best I can before using them. Because I know I can be very slow if not easily written out like a vocab word in elementary school. It takes time for us to use words to describe our own experiences because along with time accepting it, it takes time to even understand it. Like we know we polyfrag and ramcoa now, but took us months to learn and just as if not longer to accept. Because could not understand and comprehend.

I thought everyone would do this kind of thing. Look at professional sources and then try to understand them and also find people to help explain or people that experience it. And we are notoriously bad at research and stuff cause we are very slow and dumb. Does make us slightly salty about it though. But I know most people never mean harm. Still frustrating and hope more systems try to learn before hopping on using words especially when many are professional and medical words, not just community terms for funsies. They have meaning. They have purpose. They exist for reason. Meaning sticks to meaning.

(sorry for longer vent and sorry for if not word right cuz as we said we are dumb and semiverbal and struggle to communicate so tried to get thoughts out and stuff. Apologizing because very anxious and helps feel better if say sorry.)

But this just to say yes very frustrating and very glad someone says it. Semiverbal for semiverbal bodily. Nonverbal for nonverbal bodily. Permanent state. Not something go to. Important for these words to keep meaning when most of community already ignored nonverbal and semiverbal people. :( Systems too. Do not use nonverbal and semiverbal. Leave for systems that bodily nonverbal and bodily semiverbal just as they'd be for non-systems that are nonverbal and semiverbal.

(really hope made sense, always worry come off wrong, been treated poor for semiverbal struggles before :( sorry if too venty)

Hey you have no need to apologise!

I'm really grateful you resonated with this as a system who's also semiverbal bodily.

I just want to say, you aren't at all dumb okay? I hope you can learn to feel better about yourself and your disabilities and verbality

(Sorry for reply being short CFS is kicking our butt rn)

[butchlesbianmike]

Tower Tarot System Headcanons (Mike & his system)

Under the cut are my detailed headcanons for mike, his backstory, and details about his alters. Note that i've changed some 'canon' stuff and added a few new alters.

TW: There will be mentions of Parental Abuse such as neglect and implied physical and emotional violence. There will be mentions of Sexual Abuse relating to Mike & Vito.

Keeper

• System Aware • One of the main Gatekeepers. More of a state of consciousness than an alter. Not sure how to explain it even as a system myself but basically more of a concept and a fragment? It is not really an alter that another alter could just come up to or interact with. • Was created by the horrid neglect and abuse endured at the end of the system's mother which from a young age made clear they would not be able to function without amnesic barriers separating states of consciousness/ego states.

Lucia:

• 5 - she/her - System Unaware, became dormant until Mike went to therapy. She then became system aware. • Alter i created for their system. Sarah is a child alter and technically the first host the system had but quickly became a rarely fronting part due to varying traumatic events between the ages of 3 and 5. Her age got frozen around 5 years old. She also stopped being host at that age after a harshly traumatic event. • System is unsure if there are other parts younger than her, she is the youngest identifiable host.

Chester:

• 56 - He/Him - System Aware - One of the gatekeepers • Split off around 4. • Introject of their grandpa on their mom side. Very important to Sarah and was very kind and took good care of the system.Their mom was incredibly neglectful and their grandpa is basically who raised them. Their mom cut contact with their grandpa after a fight between them. • Losing their grandpa alongside the constant abuse now worsening from being around their mother more did lead to a split. • Chester appears very grumpy because they found it funny whenever he would go on rambles and complain about silly things to them but also because they were hardly ever allowed to express negative emotions or frustration around their mother and so Chester became a part that held a lot of those negative emotions they didnt feel safe expressing.

Svetlana (Went by Lucia) :

• She/They - Ages with body - not quite system aware, notices things but very much normalizes them. Becomes system aware once Mike gets a girlfriend and also starts exploring gender. • Split off around 7 when their mom started signing them up for competitive gymnastics. (They were already doing gymnastics before, but competitive only started at 7). • Main cohost for a long time. Helped Sarah and Lola with learning gymnastics and handled competitions due to their mother being incredibly abusive during tournaments and competitions. • She wasnt really aware she was cohost, she felt like this was her life but she kinda saw it as like.. "oh i just feel more like myself in my element! Gymnastics is just really important to me and its where i thrive everybody say they have masks depending on if theyre at school or at home or with friends!! I guess my mask just comes off when im doing gymnastics :D". • She thought that the Russian accent was just a bit she was very dedicated to and what helped her 'get in character' for competitions. That it was just her trying hard to be like those russian gymnasts they really like on TV to feel more confident. • She always felt uncomfortable with being infantilized and felt much older, but everyone around them would say they have an old soul so she assumed that must by why. • She discovers she's a lesbian around when the body's age is 14. • She is one of the alters alongside Vito who causes Mike to realize something isn't adding up and reach out to try and get therapy. • Did not like Mike's girlfriend and actually really disliked being referred to as a guy. This was actually a main source of conflict between her and Mike and another reason Mike started feeling something was wrong because he realized that the dysphoria he got seeming more masculine or being perceived as more masculine didn't feel like it was Actually Him. • She often would be very distant and even cold to their girlfriend because she realized that they were a system and that she wasn't Mike and that actually his girlfriend was hurting them. • After therapy and system work and being acknowledged as her own alter, her relationship with Mike got a lot better and they agreed on keeping some feminine stuff for her to wear whenever she's front. • Actually really likes Zoey and tries really hard to hint that she also likes her. She and Zoey actually start dating too.

Lola (Went by Lucia):

• She/her - 10 - system unaware until she stopped being host. She became system aware when the body was 12 and that she got yonked and became more of an internal alter and very very rarely ever fronted again. She was under the care of Manitoba and Chester in the headspace. • Another system kid and previous host, she handled life from 6 to 12. • She and Svetlana were really fronting together almost all the time and switching between eachother frequently, although rarely experiencing blackouts more than greyouts. • While she was a host from ages 6 to 12, she stopped aging in the headspace at 10. • A huge part of this was due to how rocky elementary school was. They were changing schools left and right and it was really hard to keep up with all the constant changes. Around 10 she lost one of the only friends she had managed to make and due to their already fragile state, this was distressing enough to halt her development as an alter in itself. Svetlana mostly started being the main host from 10 to 12 although Lola was still there and at least cofront a majority of the time. • Starts fronting a bit more after Mike starts doing system work (Body age around 17).

Mike:

• He/They - Ages with body - First Host to become system aware. • Split off around 12 due to stress bcuz the system moved in with their dad because their mom no longer wanted to be responsible for them nor pay for their highschool necessities. • He became host because he didnt carry much of the traumatic memories related to their mom, didn't have system awareness, and was fairly functional with school and with their dad. • At first he had it a lot better than previous hosts and was one of the most stable host for a short while which made it that switching didn't frequently occur except here and there or when triggered due to x y z. • That changed about 8 months after him being host. A month before turning 13 he started figuring out that he had a crush on a girl and might be a lesbian. • Not only that but also started getting a lot of gender dysphoria, even feeling uncomfortable with a lot of his clothes and even pictures of him in his gymnastic outfits and competitions. • Nothing much came out of the crush except heartbreak which did kind of shake things up for the system. Mike felt things very profoundly and the heartbreaks of feeling like he would never find love because he likes girls destabilized the system a bit which led to more frequent switches- especially at school to continue functioning with the classmate mike had a crush on. • Around 14 Mike finds out more about things identity wise and starts thinking he might be a transmasculine butch lesbian, but isn't sure of himself because he feels his identity is very shaky and constantly changing so he settles on being genderfluid. (This confusion is mostly caused by Svetlana who also is discovering she's a lesbian btw). • At 15 is when the big bad happens for Mike. He gets his first girlfriend who happens to be older and more experienced than him. She sees him as a trans guy, even though he tries to explain he isn't. She is very forward and sexual to him, which freaks him out. She is constantly trying to see his chest and fetishize him especially when he's binding. • At 17 after a long time seeing a therapist due to the previous events, he found out he was a system and has been doing system work with his therapist for a year now. This is the same year he signs up for total drama.

Manitoba 'Jones':

• He/Him - 21 - System Aware • Split off around 13. • Introject of Henry 'Indiana' Jones from specifically 'The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles'. • Chose the name Manitoba to distance himself from his source, although he finds high comfort in it. • System Historian / Internal Helper. He also frequently takes care of the syskids and takes them on adventures in the headspace. • Very rare for him to fully front but he likes to come sit around front whenever anyone watches action movies. • Is actually the one that handled breaking up with Mike & Vito's girlfriend because neither of them felt like they could and when he figured out what was going on he got very protective.

Vito:

• He/Him but later on uses any - 18 - System Aware • Split off around 15 because of Mike's girlfriend of the time. • Split off as a sexual protector and hypersexuality symptoms holder. • Sexualizes himself a lot because it makes him feel in control and desired. Feels like because 'hes a guy' it means he has to like and enjoy it bcuz thats what a real man would feel. • Gets triggered front everytime anyone in the system loses their shirt because of it creating dysphoria and PTSD. • Was actually the most heartbroken when they broke up with their shitty ex girlfriend. He loved her a lot and saw himself as her boyfriend more than Mike did, even if he knew deep down she wasn't good to them. • Is the alter that, alongside Svetlana, made Mike realize something wasn't adding up and start talking to a psychologist and getting therapy. • Started unpacking a lot of his relationship but still holds a lot of the system's hypersexuality symptoms and has a weird relationship to gender as he feels like his 'gender' as a 'guy' is affirmed through having withstood their ex' abuse and 'enjoying' it. • He is actually nonbinary but it takes him a while to figure that out and only really figures it out AFTER total drama.

Mal:

• He/She/It - Ages With Body - System Aware • Persecutor/Misguided Protector. Split off during total drama all stars. • Mal split off with the belief that to win the game you have to be selfish and self preserving and manipulative. • He feels that Mike is "Too soft" and "Too kind" to survive let alone win the game. So he decides to play it by 'their rules'. A rule that Mal perceives to be the only way to make it through. • Due to splitting off with the belief of needing to replace Mike, she actually looks very similar to him in the headspace and while she doesn't like it she finds it very easy to imitate him and sees it as a way to protect the system by imitating Mike to win the show and get everyone away. • She thinks Mike is too 'naive' and 'trusting' and Mal sees that as a weakness others in the show will exploit and abuse so he decides to distrust everyone including the people who the rest of the system feel are safe like Zoey and Cameron. • It doesn't come from a serious place of malice more than a maladaptive coping strategy where Mal is in constant survival mode and unwilling to let his guard down in case the system gets hurt and he KNOWS that its bound to happen being part of total drama. • This is reinforced by the fact that Mal split off with memories concerning their ex girlfriend and knows how deceiving people can be, especially seeing how some of the people on the show have tons of red flags that reminds her of Mike & Vito's ex. • He tries to protect the system by constantly trying to force herself front and by betraying people and playing 'the villain' so that no one will hurt them and that they have more chances to win if they're the one to strike first and he lashes out and gets angry when the system calls him out for it because he doesn't understand why they dont see what he sees. • After a lot of therapy and help from the system and Zoey and Cameron, Mal unpacks and unlearns a lot of the harmful ideas she split off with and also starts exploring herself outside of 'Total Drama'. A lot of her identity is tied as 'Mike's only hope to survive total drama' and its a lot for her to work through. • She gets on much better terms with Zoey later on, but it does take a very long time to build up that trust between them even if Zoey understands where Mal was coming from.

[siennaditbot]

I don't like to rant about personal stuff online but my mom said smth that really bugged me and I thought yall could relate.

I like to draw cartoony stuff, mostly humans and Sonic characters. I have dabbled in realistic art but it's not really my thing, you know?

My mom's always frustrated whenever I show her my Sonic stuff. "Those characters again, you should draw something different!"

Today she said that I should try making "real art" so she could see if I'm actually good. I was drawing a cartoony self portrait.

"Real art."

I get it. Mona Lisa and all the other fancy paintings etc, it's what people think art is.

But art can be silly doodles. Wild expressions. Messy sketches. Anthropomorphic animals doing human things. Exaggerated movement. Unrealistic body proportions.

Realism is art, sure, don't get me wrong.

But art isn't necessarily realism.

I grew up with cartoons and comics. My brother taught me to read before school and I read the same comics he did. Tintin, Asterix and Obelix, Lucky Luke and a lot of Donald Duck.

Those had an effect on me, especially Don Rosa's Scrooge McDuck stuff and the Italian Donald Duck artists whose names I can never remember.

The stories and the way they were told. The expressions and funny things happening in the background. Varying line weights.

Cartoony stuff isn't childish. It's exaggeration of things that realistic things do portray. It's creative. Fun.

Art is so much more than portraits or landscapes. It's bringing life and character to things that might not even exist or be impossible. It's storytelling. It's passion.

There's no "real art".

All art is art.

Don't deprecate people's hobbies and interests. Just because they're not painting the next Mona Lisa doesn't mean they're any less of an artist.

Let people express themselves.

If you don't, you just might cause them to stop making art completely. Or stop showing their art to you.

Be nice.

Make art the way you want.

[iiiiiiis-things]

"infernal hell"

pairing: Vox x femblack!reader

cw: valentino (tried to tone him down here), cursing, bitchiness, slight nswf, lmk if i missed anything .

blurb: how you died and climbed you way to the top with the vees & your relationship with vox .

a/n: hey .. ��� look yall i js- school has been- man look js buy my lip gloss yall . the color in my writing is js to add a little pop to the story & i didn't color code everything, but in the flashbacks everything in red are either related to or ARE the lyrics (click if ydk what im talking about)

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"yes darling, more-"

*SNAP*

"you're making me SO horny right now"

*SNAP*

"arch your back just a tad more baby"

*SNAP* *SNAP*

"YES !! eat those bitches up for breakfast, lunch AND dinner !!"

*SNAP*

Valentino continues to feed into your already enormous ego with his encouraging words, following his instructions you arch your back just a tad more against the soft, white, silky sheets beneath you. you were at a photoshoot, obviously- and all the flashing cameras and bright lights? oh yeah, definitely your scene. The way that as soon as you stepped inside the studio, you stole everyones attention as their eyes were specifically on you, from melting your lace, to putting on a soft glam, and even getting dressed everyone was waiting for you !! the star of the show. you were modeling for Valentino's new lingerie line for his limited edition valentine's day collection collab with velvette that was coming out in just two weeks from now. now originally- you weren't even supposed to be the one advertised, you decided to take the place of your friend so he doesn't have to deal with all the bullshit that val puts him through. it only took a little convincing pink looks ten times better on brown.

you sit up and straddle the bed and grab your tits softly toying with them through the bra as your robe falls off of your left shoulder. "oh yeah babe that's the stuff, don't be scared to pop a tit!!" moving around into a more lewd pose you lie flat on your back and spread your legs wide open while grabbing the back of your ankles, the lacey baby pink panties on display for the multitude of cameras that were being operated by Val to zoom in on, causing your boyfriend, Vox, who has been standing next to him this whole time (visibly irritated), screen glitch out for just a spilt second while letting out a groan in anger.

"alright that's enough!! you've gotten enough pics asshole now can we please wrap this up ??" Vox eyes grows and shrinks in size as he lets out his frustrations "babe we're only 3 hours in.." you're now sitting up cross cross with your hands filed over your chest. val leans into him in a teasing manner "awww cmon, just a few more?? I'll even save the most explicit ones for you voxy poo-" "stop calling me that." Vox immediately shuts down the nickname and quickly walks up to the platform, "can we talk?.." he takes a quick moment to look around "alone?" his eyes are narrow and his eyebrows are furrowed, which lowkey worried you and although you weren't exactly ready to take a break just yet, the way Vox looks at you is agonizing- saying there's something he needs to get off his chest, and knowing vox- it would remain on his chest until he could tell you the problem, in private letting out a small sigh you give in. "fine" quickly hopping off the surprisingly comfortable bed you yell out "sorry Val- everyone take 30!!"

everyone starts to scurry around including valentino who lets out a few curses in spanish under his breath. now on your feet Vox takes the leads as the two of you stroll through the halls to your dressing room. He opens the door and waits for you to come inside, after walking in he closes the door behind you, you sit down in your dressing chair touching up your lip liner "so? what's the problem?" "babe, I love you, I really do and i know how much you want to help that slu- i mean- your friend who is an actual sinner with feelings, i'm trying to support you- but i don't like the idea of you in lingerie on hundreds of bill boards, magazines, and god knows what else val might think of to make money." as he continues to rant he paces around your trailer with his hands on his head, obviously upset.

"I told you, this is only a one time thing" you understood why vox was upset. he's a man who doesn't like to share. "I just need you to trust me" after fixing your edges you set the comb down, standing from your chair, walking over to him wrapping your hands around his neck as his hands slides down your waist and down to your thigh, lightly stroking it "it's not you i don't trust" his hands trails back upwards lifting your robe to settle on your ass "it's him" squeezing a nice handful of it, he brings your body closer to his "babe- we've been over this.. Val wouldn't voluntarily do anything to hurt me or make me uncomfortable and we both know this ." he sighs and you rest a hand on his chest "Besides i think i look pretty good in this" Vox let's out a frustrating groan, leaning his head (screen 💀) into the crook of your neck "which is exactly why I don't want the world to see you, you're mine and mine only" oh how you loved it when he got possessive like this . you couldn't help yourself but to laugh at him, he lifts his head looking at you in confusion "what's funny ?" "you're hot when you get possessive" before he could respond there was loud banging on the door

"fav !! you in there ?! i've got food !!"

you were a popular bitch. hot bod, hot boy, cheer captain, plus you were rich and it was towards the end of your senior year, the time where some people was stressing over finals, college, prom. while others was just ready to leave this shit hole . today was a game day so you were obligated to wear your cheer uniform alongside your brand new kurk geiger purse you had just used your daddy's card to purchase not to long ago. your fresh braids, that were pulled into a high ponytail, with a white ribbon tied into a neat and perfect bow, swung from side to side as you held your binder close to your chest and made your way down the hallway to the small crowd that was forming. stopping infront of the group you look around until you make eye contact with velvette, each of you on the opposite side of the room, the two of you make the tacit decision to go around the crowd and meet up

"hey babe, what's going on?" you questioned her as she typed away on her phone. before she answers your question she holds out her phone infront of the two of you "selfie!" you make a quick cute pose as she snaps the pic and clicks to check it

"ugh cuteee this is definitely going on my main . anywaysss Julie Jenkins lost a leg in a wreck and everyone's depicting her as some type of female heroine" she continued typing on her phone, most likely posting the picture the two of you had just taken. you grew upset as everyone was being overly chatty with this 'jenna' bitch, leaving you with no attention (making you feel slightly insecure) "the fuck? why is everyone being so sympathetic? we have other things to worry about like prom" velvette looks at you and laughs "fav, seriously, relax we both know you got this in the bag" she nudges your shoulder, giving a knowing smile. and this ? this is exactly why she was your favorite. she knew you- the real you, not the persona you displayed for everyone. hell she knew you better then your own boyfriend did. the binder that you held close to your chest is now in vel arms as you begin making your way to the girl in the wheelchair, you didn't have to push anyone out the way to get to her, because the crowd made a clear path just for you .

"hey! jenna right ??" you speak in a fake nice tone eyes blown wide and a huge grin on your face . "oh um actually it's julie" the girl was obviously shy, her rosy cheeks became a shade darker, your presence slightly intimidating her, "shit im sorry, im y/-" "y/n. i know we take computer science together" you started at her for a moment as she had spoken with attitude, 'who the fuck is she talking to?' you think staring at her with your mouth open tryna to figure how to respond with out coming off as mean, after all- you still had a reputation to maintain

"i'm sorry that was rude" jenna apologizes, pushing her thick, black, glasses back up her face "no- no it's on me !! i guess i just never noticed you before" "we were partners once..." she had managed to gag you once again and you were starting to get irritated because this amputated bitch was making you look bad in front of damn near the whole school; seriously who even was she ?! standing with your mouth open, you scratch the skin between your lip and nose, letting out a fake laugh "god i'm so sorry you know with everything going on-" you look down digging into your expensive purse looking for a writing utensil "cheer, finals, prom- i've just been so swamped" pulling out a marker you bite off the cap "and for that-" you kneel down infront of her wheel chair, still speaking with the cap between you teeth, you gently grab her casted arm and look up into her eyes "i sincerely apologize" looking back down you sign your known nickname (so she could feel some sense of comfort with you) in big cursive letters taking up almost the whole space on the front . julie had a big smile plastered on her face, happy that some one as popular as you had been the first one to sign their name on her cast . quickly getting up you walk away meeting back up with vel and hearing in the commotion behind you everyone asking to sign her cast right next to your signature.

[shihalyfie]

Hi. I'm someone who has been planning to rewatch Digimon Frontiers. I remember watching it as a kid, but hoping to rewatch it as an adult to see how it still holds up. Before that though, I've been wondering about how that series has treated Izumi in light of a lot of the fandom's complaints about her. I've only watched the American English dub, but I am wondering about why she was written as she was and how it differs from the Japanese version. I also saw your meta on the writers for her episodes, honestly surprised that her episodes were written by female writers. I can use your perspective on why she was written that way since you seem more knowledgeable about the franchise as a whole.

I'm also curious how much romance has actually been a thing in the Digimon franchise, or if it is mainly just a small subplot that's usually kept in the back.

I appreciate any information you can give.

Hello! Thank you for dropping by!

Regarding Frontier and Izumi, to be honest, I don't really think there are too many substantial differences between the American English dub and original Japanese version to the point I could make any in-depth analysis. (There are changes, but it's in a very vague blanket realm of "the insults and bantering are a little harsher", and it's definitely not Adventure or 02 level.) The Japanese version has the infamous "Sexy Dynamite" frame, so one might argue that it was even worse about it, but small details aside, I think the good points and the complaints you could make are pretty much the same.

As for why the writing around Izumi is so glaring compared to prior (and perhaps most other) Digimon series, I honestly can't say. As far as female creator presence in the main staff room goes, as you mentioned, Izumi's key episodes were by female writers, and Seki was still producer. And on top of that, while Tomita fully admitted that he had a hard time writing girls, I honestly can't believe that's the (sole?) cause of it when I look at his other portfolio works, including some fan-favorite episodes of Sailor Moon and, in general, some magical girl series with excellent female characters.

Perhaps it's the fact that it's the first Digimon anime series to not have any involvement from Yoshimura Genki (who was responsible for most of the writing around Ruki in Tamers and is currently known as a hardcore feminist), or perhaps Bandai panicking about the franchise's poor sales made them lock down harder on "we need to Please the Boys" (something that does sometimes end up in being neglectful of female characters), or perhaps the fact that Izumi was the only girl in the core group made them more inclined to treat her like the Designated Girl Character™ of the series...but this is all speculation, and your guess is as good as mine, especially since we have so little information on Frontier's production compared to others.

As for the question on romance, it's pretty much always been a subplot at best, most likely because the majority of major human characters in the franchise are elementary to middle school age and are thus way too young to be considering "serious" romance or relationships (middle school being probably the youngest you can push the limit as treating a relationship as "serious" instead of just being a puppy crush). Moreover, Adventure and 02 seemed to take the stance of "romance is a part of one's life, but not the most important thing in one's life" (something that seems to have frustrated a lot of fans regarding the series not caring enough about shipping), so even stuff related to Yamato and Sora is carefully squared off to the side like it's not anyone's business. As much as I like to make ship-related jokes, if asked in a serious context, I personally never believed that most of anyone's behavior towards anyone in Adventure or 02 had legitimate romantic sentiment behind it, mostly because they were too young for it; even Daisuke's crush on Hikari comes off to me as him being clingy because she's cute and not really taking the time to think about what the next steps would entail.

Other than Yamato and Sora, putting one-sided humorous crushes aside, the closest to explicit depictions of (human) romance that actually seem plot-relevant would probably be Takato and Juri in Tamers, which even then is not really that explicit (although the people involved in its creation love to talk about it like it's a sort of damsel-in-distress plot), and Kiriha and Nene in the Xros Wars manga, which also is prominent and related to the plot but also not that big of an element in it. Sometimes it seems like it's milking the concept of romance more than it's usually done in practice (an episode of Savers is styled like it's Yoshino having a love story with a childhood friend, but if you actually watch the episode it's at most just her having mixed feelings about a childhood friend falling from grace). So it's honestly been a series that's hands-off with romance for the most part, with most of the shipping and romance-related content being on the part of the fans.

By the way, the official reason there's no explicit depiction of Yamato and Sora in Kizuna (despite them being a known endgame canon couple) is that it would have been overly conspicuous and obstructive in a movie that only had 90 minutes to tell its story. (I know there are a lot of people who think the real reason is "because it was controversial and they don't want to get people mad," but personally, I feel that if they were worrying about controversy, they wouldn't have given Kizuna such a controversial premise in the first place!) So I imagine that's the main reason we've gotten so little romance; it's exactly because it's such a crowd-pleaser and overly conspicuous element that they want to avoid it, because Digimon is frankly a complex franchise with a lot of expectations and mechanics that it needs to worry more about, and it's hard to cram a prominent romance plot in there in a way that would be tonally appropriate.

[ravenandmoon]

I guess this is a journal entry...

Going back into my practice is always scary. I feel like i'm a bad devotee, i feel like I have hurt my sweet Apollon (because in one year of active practice things have changed), I think everything I do is either bad or not enough, this is sometimes frustrating and hard but I still try ! I did two tarot readings this week, one yesterday with Aphrodite Areia, which was harsh and shadow work related 'cause that's how my devotion works with Her. And this morning with Apollon who made me feel way better about everything, which was huge to me 'cause I was wondering if He was mad at me. Maybe He is not ? This is quite hard for me to accept that softness from Apollon, Hermes, Erebos, Hestia... when I focus more on Hekate, Aphrodite and others who are not nurturing at all (except when it's needed).

This year I'm back at school, my college is great, but I need time and help to process some stuff. First of all, the fact that I felt so much alone I had to go back in my family's house for a time because I had so much anxiety it became painful. It took me so many days before I could start putting together my altars (which i still struggle with cause i used pinterest images for my moodboard and I'm not really okay with doing that, yet i didn't find any economical ways to do better for now). I finished a first bit of editing in my new novel, this was huge because it's a big boy already and I'm still in the beginning of the story but I love it so far. This year I will focus more on my relationship with Athena, it started a bit february along with Hermes because I had some stuff to work on, but now it'll almost be a "at least two years of devotion" to Her cause well, i'm working on becoming a librarian and I think it fit Her well (and also Hekate who I often associate with a teacher/mentor and also a gatekeeper which here will not fit because by definition a librarian is the opposite but, you never know).

...I think that's all for now, have a great day/night !

[disabled-and-tired]

I have trouble keeping a physical journal, I always misplace it after only a few entries so here is my blog/journal. I’ll be posting my thoughts/frustrations/general life stuff. If this interests you or you relate you are more than welcome to stay and join me in this little journaling journey.

I guess I should introduce myself and give some important backstory as to why I’m making this blog. For reasons I will not be sharing my real name to strangers on the internet so you can call me Finch. Before I go into more detail I want to make it known that this page is not for me to gain any pity. That being said I am disabled (if I didn’t make that obvious) i was born with short Achilles tendons, had surgery for that when I was in the 4th grade, this surgery made it so i no longer strained my ankles walking on my toes, however the goal was to have my ankles at a 95° angle or more and my left only reached 93° while my right had to be recasted from 89° to 90°. Physical therapy was supposed to help the angles increase, unfortunately that didn’t happen. This has caused my knees, hips, and spine to be out of alignment. My right ankle has lost all cushioning between my bones, this is due to how I walked pre-surgery and caused over pronation in that foot. This has caused me to have chronic pain and mobility issues from a young age.

I would like to say that is my only issue, when I was very young we discovered I have POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) this would cause my resting heart rate to be in the 90s and constant heart palpitations. My mom, grandmother and sister all also have POTS. This condition also caused me to have fainting spells. Since my diagnosis I have worked with my doctors to find a way to manage the symptoms. When I was learning to read and wright it was discovered that I am dyslexic, this caused frustration as a child and to this day. I have been through some traumatic events which I may or may not discuss on this blog that caused me to develop C-PTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder) and during these traumatic times I was diagnosed with OCD which again my mom, grandmother and sister have. My sister had it worse than me especially with her having autism on top of it, however as a child I had no understanding of autism and had my own frustrations with her behaviors and how her disorder dominated the house and what we did as a family. I understand now why things were the way the were but little me couldn’t comprehend as much as I can now.

As I went into middle school I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was put on many meds for depression none worked. I would learn later with my new and current primary care provider that I have bipolar depression and not regular depression which explains why those meds just wouldn’t ever work and had odd side effects. In 5th grade when puberty hit I developed horrible allergies. Tropical fruits, certain nuts and the air were all causing me issues. Sesame was discovered to cause anaphylactic reactions weather I eat it or it’s cooked and in the air. A couple summers later I was having anaphylactic reactions to the pollen in the air, this prompted my mom to take me to the allergist and find out that I’m allergic to all plants where I live except cedar. I was promptly started on a 5 year allergy shot regiment.

During my allergy testing I was having severe gastrointestinal issues, acid reflux, esophageal spasms, and just feeling like crap after eating. I had an upper endoscopy done where I was biopsied and they informed me they fixed two things I didn’t know were issues. They found a hiatal hernia and a Schatzki ring. They fixed both and said they may happen again and since then I’ve had a second endoscopy very recently where I had both again and were fixed. The biopsy came back and my gastroenterologist had me make an appointment sooner than the one I had already made. I was informed that I had a disorder called EoE (eosinophilic esophagitis) the threshold to be diagnosed was >15 (eosinophils in one place on a slide view from pathology) I had >87. This explained a lot. I was told I had mild allergies to things I had been consuming frequently without knowing causing the condition to worsen. The allergies were found to be carrot and soy. I learned carrot is in a lot more things than you expect. After going off of anything with even trace amounts I was naive and thought I could have a blood orange soda with just bit of carrot added for flavor. Turns out I can’t and that made me feel very sick and itchy. Also turns out you can have hives on your inner eyelids, ears, nostrils, and stomach all of which I get when consuming carrot. Also I can’t have pear or bananas so that’s a bit of a bummer.

Going back to puberty times I of course started my period. I was told cramps were normal so of course I assumed I wasn’t to complain about cramps since everyone got them. As I got older the cramping got worse and worse. Trying ibuprofen and Tylenol but eventually those didn’t touch the pain anymore. It got to a state of cramping when I wasn’t even on my period, however when I was on my period it was so bad I couldn’t move, pain was radiating down my legs, throughout strange areas in my abdomen, and up my back. There was no relief I was missing school and one day ended up at the ER, convinced my appendix was about to burst. They did many tests and to my surprise they found nothing. Not even in the ultrasounds. My doctor put me on a 24/7 birth control to keep periods from happening. I then went to a gynecologist who diagnosed me with endometriosis.

My ankles grew strange and have something called haglunds deformity. In 11th grade I had this corrected just on my right ankle. This surgery was intense, they had to disconnect my tendon, chop bone off, and then the tendon is tacked back down with two screws, two nails and a surgical thread forming an X between the hardware. This was a very intense surgery that didn’t fully fix the problem. We decided against having this done on the other ankle. My surgeon offered to have my ankle bones fused in my right ankle saying it would keep the bones from grinding. I declined because there was no guarantee this would stop my pain and I would no longer be able to move my ankle.

As of now I have been diagnosed with atopic dermatitis and am in the long (often 10 year) process of being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. For now my doctor has given a placeholder diagnosis of fibromyalgia while we wait for my symptoms to progress enough to have full positive symptoms. This is frustrating as I am on the cusp of testing positive for lupus. My grandma has autoimmune symptoms as well although she doesn’t like doctors so we will never know what exactly is wrong with her.

Because of my mobility impairments I was told at a young age I would need walking aids as I got older and possibly a wheelchair if things progressed. When I was told this I was too young to fully understand I was just told my body was going to continue to get worse. I now use a cane and hope things won’t progress.

In my next post I’ll will probably discuss my interests and what I do for fun so something more light hearted, later I will also talk about my frustrations with what the internet has caused in terms of a epidemic of mockery. Munchausens by internet is something that I have heavily researched and feel passionate about. A former close friend of mine started faking disorders that cannot happen late in life and making it painfully obvious that she only pretends to be disabled when it can’t inconvenience her. We no longer talk. But more on that later, if you read this all thank you, if you related to this in anyway welcome you are not alone.

[isfjmel-phleg]

Damage 1994 #1 begins with:

Grant has been raised in a situation where he has felt unable to control anything. Not only is there a lack of stability because of so many moves, but we later find out that his foster father was abusive and his foster mother did nothing to prevent it or protect Grant in any way. Growing up in such an environment produces a constant sense of walking through life on eggshells, so it's no wonder that Grant tends to overthink social situations and seeks to figure out how to take back a little of the control denied to him by rigidly trying to control himself according to a self-imposed code. To me, the Emerson System looks a lot like a trauma response.

In #1, we learn that these rules are:

Go out for the team, any team. Being on a team changes you from "the new kid" to "the new kid who's on the team."

Make friends, not enemies. If you don't have any friends, enemies are a luxury you can't afford.

Don't even think about girls for the first two months in a new school. Girls cause you to break Rule #2.

Never tell your parents what's really happening with you. If it's good, they won't get why. If it's bad, they can't handle it.

When you're ready to make your mark, make it big. Never be afraid to make a name for yourself.

Grant's rules view survival as related to having the approval of others. There's safety in being part of a team. Safety in collecting allies and avoiding conflict. Safety in being known for something admirable. If you are alone, you are not safe. However, Rule 4's injunction to keep his parents at a distance stands out. One would expect support from one's family to be indispensable for survival. The fact that the system dismisses them immediately indicates that Grant has learned that his parents are not a source of safety--which would further the drive to look to outside sources like a team or friends for support. So in general his go-to response is to fawn, which is common for victims of child abuse.

Of course all of these rules fall through in #1 once Grant manifests powers, and he's left blundering around for a while without guidance. He eventually joins a team, per court mandate after his trial for accidentally destroying downtown Atlanta, which adds structure to his life, but after a while he clashes with the team's leader and decides to leave to seek answers about his parentage.

This leaves him on his own again, which is always uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Thus he feels the need to revise his old system as a means of giving himself the guidance he lacks.

The first attempted revision has as Rule 1 "No one messes with Damage!"--a declaration born of Grant's frustration at being controlled by others. But this rule leads to his almost hitting and alienating a friend. The need to maintain alliances is still ingrained into Grant (not to mention he sincerely doesn't want to hurt anyone, especially someone he likes), so he rethinks this rule and starts another revised system, gradually adding rules as reactions to each unexpected situation that comes his way.

Don't let your friends get involved with your problems. Then you won't be responsible for them getting hurt. (#8, repeated in #10-11)

Since you don't always have it [i.e. powers], when you've got it, use it! (#8)

If your uncle is a super-villain, you don't want to advertise it to the whole world. (#9)

When you think you're stuck and there's no way out, you're probably right--so don't think--just do it. (#10)

Sometimes, you might really need to involve friends--which might be kind of hard if you've cut them out of all the big stuff. So if you cave, go all the way. Put on your best cheeser [i.e. big smile] and be ready to beg! (#11)

Don't hang back from taking the big risk if it's the only way to get where you want to go--especially if the "big risk" is something cool like flying a Titan's shuttle. (#12)

When you're fighting a bunch of guys with noisy hardware, don't add to the decibels by talking so much--that you can't hear the sound of approaching reinforcements! (#12)

Not having time to think can be a good thing--if it keeps you from being too scared to run! (#12)

Life's too complicated for rules. (#12)

No more rules. (#12)

New traumas are bringing in new responses, such as shutting off thought to take risks or self-preserve, but the themes of the previous system are still in play. Don't alienate people with your problems or any unpleasant truths about your background. Bend over backward to please others if you have to. Relationships are a survival resource, and they're precarious and earned.

As Rules 9-10 indicate, Grant after a series of misadventures resulting in answers about his parents but also the death of the girl he likes, decides that the system isn't working for him anymore and determines to abandon the practice.

(Damage #12)

However, he immediately falls back on this coping mechanism in #13 when he gets into a fight with his Titans teammates. It's a high-stress situation, and he doesn't know how to handle a conflict on this level. Rather than fawning, he goes to the opposite extreme of antagonizing each of his teammates, one by one. His new system is much more aggressive.

(Damage #13)

The rules of "the totally new, absolutely final Emerson System" are:

If you want to soar with the eagles--you've got to be ready to ruffle some feathers. [Amendment added after a cathartic talk with a teammate:] But don't ever forget the people on the ground. (#13)

Winning takes whatever it takes--even if it seems like a big mistake at the time! (#14)

He has gone from fawn to fight, but this version of the system doesn't last either. He doesn't formally swear it off again; it just...vanishes from his narration after #14. Presumably it doesn't work. Or perhaps we're meant to understand implicitly that by the end of the solo Grant has moved past the need for the system, for real this time.

But we do see him continue to fall back on his original rules afterward, perhaps unconsciously.

Before the Titans take him on again, he's repeatedly seen trying to join team after team. He never goes for too long without being part of a group.

His second round with the Titans generally goes more smoothly--he doesn't antagonize anyone and seems to get along with the entire team reasonably well.

There's initially a little tension between him and Toni (Argent), but he doesn't pursue her or anyone else romantically during this time.

Even when he's struggling with his past, he's very reluctant to discuss it with the adults in the group and only does so after a lot of urging.

And when age-swap shenanigans require decisive action, he's ready to step up and take charge of the team.

These behaviors that he learned to take on for survival have become so ingrained in him that he reverts to the Emerson System or some form of it almost automatically in social situations. And unfortunately most of these rules are either ultimately unhelpful in themselves or are motivated by something unhelpful under normal circumstances. Forming connections is good; forming connections out of fear leads to problems. Distancing oneself from parental/authority figures and potential romantic interests makes sense if such people have proven themselves harmful, but making this an absolute rule denies the chance for connection with those who can be genuine sources of support and love. Given Grant's background, these are understandable core beliefs, but they aren't helping him and need to be questioned.

Disregarding Rule 4 (don't tell "parents" what's really going on) results in his getting an opportunity for support when he opens up to Roy.

Sticking to Rule 1 (join a team, any team) unexpectedly lands him in a situation that leaves him shattered for the rest of his life.

By the time he's on the JSA, the Emerson System doesn't come up again in the few times we're given his POV, and his behavior is more in keeping with the angry, aggressive revisions of the system that emerged before in times of high stress.

EDIT: however, the persistence of Rule 1 might have something to do with Grant's repeatedly getting involved with cult-like groups. The means of his death lands him in a dysfunctional group too (the Black Lanterns), but his last act is to turn his back on them to help out his JSA team--so he's learned something about where to put his loyalty.

[mdhwrites]

You know I noticed a detail that made me think why l/umity lost it's spark, but metaphorically so to speak about their color themes.

Luz is purple, Amity was a dilemma because of her track color but everyone kind of agreed with green, purple and green are opposites which fit their dynamic. However you can notice the pallets of purple and pink forced on Amity later, the groom dress and her grudgby uniform. (Not sure if real but there were some official concepts about her originally having a green tuxedo for groom instead of a pink dress and tbh they should've kept that, you can tell the colors were off-putting with the dress)

Green with pink it's a bit chaotic on it's own and it quite reflects on Amity's drastic changes, but the combination with purple just doesn't work.

Then her theme turned to purple as well and well, purple with purple it's boring. You don't even know what heart emoji colors to use for them anymore when in s1 it used to be like this 💜💚, some people resulted to this 🤎💜 but again not working

.

I guess this is why I was so pissed when they started treating anything green related as Odalia's bad influence (which was stupid). And it's like a slap in the face to the fans who were invested in Amity's green era. So what? Me preferring her green hair makes me a supporter of Odalia's abuse now? What about these stylish fanarts of her pulling the green hair with different outfits and styles?

.

Originally I thought she dyed it to impress or get her mom's attention, when Odalia was thought to be a strict perfectionist parent not the dumbster fire of a character they turned her out to be. The point is that it was on Amity's own acord, not mom's. Thrown outta window I suppose.

But in that case I would've preferred Amity growing her natural hair in time as a reference to her becoming her own person, meanwhile having Luz go through a development of her own to change her color theme so they have another contrasting that works. It's kind of hard to imagine Amity in anything other than purple now from her spell circle to her abomination, not to mention her room (heck everything's purple)

In The Power of Love, I actually made it that when Amity was young, the two figured out her hairstyle and dyed it both as a bonding moment and just because yes, Odalia is a bit obsessive. The style was Amity's choice though and she liked how it made her mom feel. You know, because families don't have to be terrible all the time. As far as the color theory stuff goes, it feels more like Luz's color should have been something besides purple more than Amity needing to stay green. That it either wasn't thought out... Or seen as a positive. Because it is in line with the rest of Amity's character and even the haircut she has right after dying her hair: She is just in line with Luz. Everything about Amity in S2 is about falling into line with Luz. Has daddy issues? So does Luz! Doesn't like the coven system all of a sudden? So does Luz! Have short, slightly messy hair? So does Luz! This actually caused a period of time before Amity got her long hair when black and white fanarts would make me pause to figure out who was Amity and who was Luz because they looked so similar. And GOD FORBID they both be in their school uniforms because then you were just screwed back then. It is all part of the girlfriend-ification of Amity where her priorities and very identity are focused entirely on Luz. It's probably also why people don't seem to do NEARLY as much with her now because, much like losing the contrast in color theory, she lost all flavor and the like. Lost what made her unique. Her methods, morals, priorities, etc. just became the same as everyone else's: Whatever Luz needs. It is EXTREMELY boring from a narrative standpoint and part of why the arcs in TOH frustrate me so much. You start with an interesting character and then replace them with a bland, template character that fills a role around Luz. Her surrogate mom in Eda, her girlfriend in Amity, her... Lancer? Kind of? In Hunter, her big strong girl with Willow and her smart guy in Gus. Except to even define them this much is awkward because the show doesn't really care about what jokes or the like they're doing with certain characters when outside of shipping moments. This is where you get high society Amity being the biggest clutz on the planet in S3 Ep. 1. It's all frustrating and it's even more infuriating that you're right: Looking Glass Ruins is when this started in full force with Amity changing her hair to not only match Luz in style but also match closer to Luz's normal colors. And it would only honestly go downhill from there with the very slight exception of Eclipse Lake. And even then... That's the last time we'd see Amity actually have that sort of drive... And it's only because of Luz. And that kind of sucks when she used to be so much more a distinct person with her own goals and desires. Instead... She's a lesbian defined mostly by her interest in another girl. I thought that was normally something that annoyed people. Edit: Just to add: I still like Amity's S1 haircut the most. It's the most distinct visually, is actually a unique design besides 'long hair' or 'short hair with a dye job that went unfinished apparently' and it's just a very cute look in my opinion.

[kimmimaru]

I now try to avoid any and all stuff relating to parents of autistic kids. Now, technically I am a parent to an autistic kid (not yet diagnosed but will be soon) but I am also autistic myself. But I don’t understand why there are so many parents out there who’s posts on autistic social media are always: my kids autistic, it’s so hard for ME. You don’t know what I have to go through...etc etc.  ...Yeah, parenting is hard. Not even neurotypical kids are fucking easy ffs. But they complain all the time about how their kids are having constant meltdowns (which they call tantrums) and I’m like, then do something to HELP them? It would make everyone's lives so much better if you put in a little effort to find out the cause, trust me. My daughter spent weeks before school freaking out whenever she put her shoes on in the morning. Was it frustrating? yeah. Of course it was, we had to get to school. But you know what I did? Found out that the seams in her socks were making her shoes feel weird and so I got her seamless socks. Problem solved. No more before school meltdowns. Trust me, love, they aren’t doing it for shits and giggles. It’s not hard to just fucking listen to what your kids are trying to tell you. Get over yourselves. What REALLY fucks me off though are the parents who whinge because ‘my child doesn’t love me because they don’t want hugs!’ Oh fuck right off. I hate hugs 90% of the time (the exception, for some reason, is my daughter), they make me feel sick, panicky and uncomfortable. I do hug my family and friends sometimes but I have to be in the right mood for it. Most of the time this is respected. But like, guaranteed, even your non-verbal autistic kid is showing you they love you, you’re just not recognising it because it doesn’t fit into you’re neurotypical idea of what love ‘should’ look like. You know how to connect with your autistic kid? Step into their world. Find out what their interests are and involve yourself in them, play in the same way they do. Join them in stimming even, it’s fun. Flap your hands around, trust me, it’s very freeing. If they like dancing, dance with them. It’s really, really not that hard. Example: my kid likes to play the sims. So we play together. She likes youtube videos of people playing roblox and minecraft, so I talk to her about it. My child is verbal (most of the time, she does go non-verbal in stressful situations) but like, if your kid doesn’t/can’t speak, all you have to do is watch them for a while to find out what they enjoy doing and then just sit and do it with them. Bonding doesn’t always mean talking or physical touch. Just sitting side by side and doing a task or activity can be bonding too. Sorry, I needed to rant. I’ve been seeing way too much of this bullshit lately. It’s exhausting.