#so while i can see him valuing their brotherhood just as deeply

[chromotps]

man the real reason I know I’m into to ace/lu for the characters and not for the incest (well, a little bit for the incest)

is that I’m just totally ambivalent to sabo

[gffa]

Hey! What are your favorite Obi-Wan-centric books/comics, if I may ask? Have a nice day and may the force be with you

Hi! I have a bunch that I've enjoyed! Trying to keep this as Obi-Wan-centric as I can, though, honestly, for as much as he appears in a lot of stuff, he's not necessarily always the center of the best stuff for his character. NOVELS - CANON:

Padawan by Kiersten White - This book dethroned all other books for me to take the #2 spot of Lumi's Favorite Star Wars Book Ever! It's charming, it's thoughtful, it's good-natured, it's funny, it had a fun adventure, it gave Obi-Wan some hellion little best friends as a Padawan, and just made me fall in love with the world all over again.

Choose Your Destiny: An Obi-Wan & Anakin Adventure by Cavan Scott - The CYD books (same concept as Choose Your Own Adventure books) can be an acquired taste, but I found so many lovely moments in this book, some genuinely delightful details (MACE WINDU THEATRE NERD) and some great Obi-Wan & Anakin moments. Plus, Bant Eerin recanonization!

Brotherhood by Mike Chen - I have talked at length about the problems with the Anakin parts of this book (basically: if you take it at face value, it's pretty vile towards a Black character), but I have a ton of affection for the Obi-Wan half of this book. The way he moves with his feelings, acknowledges them and lets them pass through him, the way he genuinely cares about the Neimoidians, the way he tries to be thoughtful and you can see how deeply he cares about Anakin, is all really good.

From a Certain Point of View: A New Hope (specifically the first one, not the second one) has three short stories that are stellar for Obi-Wan: "Master and Apprentice" by Claudia Gray (make sure it's the ANH anthology, not the full novel by the same author), "There is Another" by Gary D. Shmidt, and "Time of Death" by Cavan Scott. All have either really lovely insights into Obi-Wan's character during ANH or have him being utterly hilarious.

NOVELS - LEGENDS:

Revenge of the Sith by Matthew Stover - While not actually perfect, there are some things I don't fully agree with or think the book matched what was on the screen, when this book gets it right, it gets it so right that no other book has ever compared. This utterly elevates what was already my favorite Star Wars movie, and this man can turn a hell of a phrase.

Wild Space by Karen Miller - This is a book that I could pick apart in a lot of ways (it feels like two half-books stitched together rather than one coherent story, it doesn't earn its ending, it doesn't really do justice to the Jedi), but I love it because it's such an utterly dramatic book, everything about the events is larger than life, and has a spar with Obi-Wan and Anakin where he smacks Anakin on the ass, touches his face and tells him he did well and the look on Anakin's face in return almost makes Ahsoka cry because she's so touched, and contains the phrase "wringing wet and blowing hard" about their duel. Like, that's the kind of chaos you're in for and it's AMAZING.

COMICS - CANON:

Obi-Wan by Christopher Cantwell - It's only a five issue mini-series but it's a great look at Obi-Wan's character at various points in his life and I had so much to say about it, so I really felt it held up to analysis, and it really brought the feelings.

Obi-Wan & Anakin by Charles Soule - Another five issue mini and it does not get near enough credit for being tremendously well plotted and illustrating a lot of bigger points about Obi-Wan, Anakin, the Jedi, and the Republic, why good people were making the best choices available to them. Also, the single most gorgeous art I have ever seen in a comic.

Any of the Age of Republic comics by Jody Houser - These were a series of oneshots focused on various heroes and villains, and if you're specifically looking for Obi-Wan content, the Obi-Wan one and the Anakin one were FANTASTIC looks at the character.

Clone Wars: Battle Tales by Michael Moreci - Another mini-series and IIRC Obi-Wan was only in some of them, but he got some truly great moments of defending the clones and being an amazing leader in them.

COMICS - LEGENDS: These are so much harder because they're so spread out and often times it's just one or two issues that even have Obi-Wan in them. Ones I do remember enjoying:

The Clone Wars: The Smuggler's Code by Justin Aclin - A short graphic novel where Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka go on a beach vacation and run into a criminal from Obi-Wan's past and the entire story is UTTERLY UNHINGED, it's so hilariously over the top that I hyena laugh ever time I read it.

The Republic series from Dark Horse had a bunch of good Obi-Wan moments in it, if you don't mind paging through a lot of other characters. It's about all the Jedi, so they all get their turns, so I would suggest getting this one from your local library to find the issues you're most interested in!

Honestly, so much of reading SW books and comics is the willingness to pick out small fragments of gold amidst the bigger blargghh, like would I recommend Jedi Apprentice or Jedi Quest as some of my favorites? No, probably not, but that doesn't mean that Jude Watson didn't know how to turn a hell of a phrase and that I won't pull out fantastic quotes from those books! Would I recommend the Titan magazine comics? No, they're charming but the art is wonky a lot and they're too short to really go into much depth. If anyone has any comics recs to include, feel free to add on! The novels were easier to remember, but there have been so many comics that I feel like I'm missing some obvious ones.

[nightingaelic]

Fallout new vegas companions taking the courier's place in lonesome road (+ cut companions if that's cool with u) (thanks!!)

The problem with trying to adapt Lonesome Road to another character's experience is that so much of its story hinges on the courier's missing past and the former Frumentarius' struggle to make them understand what happened, why it caused a shockwave across multiple lives, locations and generations, and whether to avenge or let go of the harm that was unknowingly done to the Divide. So if you bring the companions into the mix instead of Courier Six, you either have a long-running story of mistaken identity (a hilarious concept, Ulysses being absolutely positive that the companion is the one who wrecked his dream home while they have no idea who this angry, verbose man is), or a drastically different history for the companions themselves. I say let's give that second option a shot, it seems fun and headcanon-y.

Arcade Gannon: While I don't think Arcade would be directly responsible for the destruction of the Divide, I think he would pale at hearing Ulysses' message searching for Enclave agents and would set out to confront the angry courier on behalf of his hidden family. The Enclave remnants are already hunted by the NCR and the Brotherhood of Steel, and the last thing they need is to be chased out of yet another home over something they didn't personally do. He'd accept ED-E's help wholeheartedly and consider turning back every time he ran into marked men or tunnelers, but his own resolve to save his loved ones would urge him to persevere. I think his determination would intrigue Ulysses, enough to engage the young research scientist in conversation if he arrived at the end of the road in one piece, and the courier might even let go of his vendetta if Arcade revealed that he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart rather than a sense of duty. Arcade would cancel the nuke launch, but would seriously consider blowing up the Legion.

Craig Boone: We know the NCR and Legion were fighting over the Divide before the ICBMs leveled the area. But what if that was by design, rather than by accident? Maybe Boone has more skeletons in his closet than just Bitter Springs, and he was part of a strike team that used old Enclave technology to surprise the Legion forces and seal off an access route, a decision based on math and made by men who had never met the people of Hopeville and Ashton that they sentenced to death. It's yet another weight on the sniper's conscience, and yet another debt he feels obligated to pay, so when Ulysses' call goes out, he answers. The usual dangers of the Divide wouldn't slow him down, but the turbulent weather would irritate him to no end. Upon arrival at the temple, Boone wouldn't mince words because he already knows he's guilty of the charge and he knows Ulysses used to walk for the Legion. If he survived the encounter, Boone would take the opportunity to rain the same destruction down on Caesar's troops.

Lily Bowen: There are about 119 years of Lily's life as a super mutant that are unaccounted-for, and we know she suffers from schizophrenia like many other nightkin. Perhaps it was Lily who discovered the Enclave package and unwittingly left it in the home of America's missiles: Perhaps it was Leo. I'm inclined to think it was Leo, who was probably searching for a cache of Stealth Boys in the old military installations across the desert, and who simply didn't care when a new hole in the earth opened up behind him. Lily, on the other hand, cares deeply, and would set out after Ulysses in the interest of making amends where she could. More so than any other companion, I think Lily would be disturbed by the tunnelers and would go out of her way to crush them wherever they popped up. The marked men would earn her sympathy and she would do her best to knock them out without killing them. After doing the same to Ulysses, Lily would cancel the launch and weep over the subsequent loss of ED-E. She would likely bring the little eyebot back to the Mojave and search for a way to fix it.

Raul Alfonso Tejada: We already know that Raul goes to extreme lengths to avenge the people he cares about, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to mix his backstory into the story of the Divide. Following the murder of Claudia in Tucson/Two Sun, Raul chased Dirty Dave and his brothers across Arizona and into the town of Ashton before killing them. Unbeknownst to him, Dirty Dave had a package with him that could speak to the nuclear missile silos hidden in the Divide, and the earth crumbled behind the vaquero as he made his way back home. Though he'd heard of the devastation, Raul didn't put two and two together until Ulysses sent out his summons, and because he didn't have anything planned that week, the old mechanic decided to answer the call. He would put up with Ulysses' messages like a good sport until he encountered the man in the temple, where he would refuse to fight until the two talked things out like civil people. I think Ulysses would be surprised at the revelation that the ghoul he had cast as a villain was following his own quest for vengeance and unaware of the package, and would come away somewhat amused by the situation. They would most likely team up to fight off the marked men, and Raul would cancel the launch and take a wrench to the machines to prevent any more "misunderstandings."

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: Let's say one of Cass' caravans delivered a package back in the day. Let's say that package accidentally buried the caravan crew and an entire community along with it. Let's say Cass knows, and that's one of the reasons she drinks. While Courier Six walks the Divide out of curiosity about their missing past, I think Cass would do it as a form of penance in and of itself, with a little desire for self-destruction thrown into the mix. The journey would start out as a bender fueled by self-loathing and the fanciful notion of giving her missing caravan a proper funeral, and by the time Cass runs out of whiskey she's already halfway through the Cave of the Abaddon and punching holes through the tunnelers with her shotgun. She would largely ignore Ulysses' cryptic messages and holotapes, but she'd grow fond of the little eyebot that took a shine to her and would tear after it once the mysterious courier repossessed it. Following the final battle, Cass would cancel the launch, but only at the very last second, just to revel in the fleeting feeling of control.

Veronica Santangelo: I just can't see Veronica knowingly or unknowingly waking up a nuclear arsenal with a careless application of tech, but I can totally see her stumbling upon the aftermath of something her old mentor is responsible for. Father Elijah already has a tenuous grasp on the consequences of his own actions, and we know that the prototype tech that controls the Divide's weather is a Big MT project. Maybe Elijah paid Hopeville a visit to check it out and took his investigation a little too far when he discovered the nukes. This would explain Ulysses' directions to the old man to find the Sierra Madre, sealing his doom inside the casino. But where does that leave Ulysses? Along comes Veronica, following her mentor's trail of destruction, and the courier can't help but guide her along the path, show her the meaning of the wreckage and the danger of pre-war technology when left to the discretion of those with old-world values, like the Brotherhood. Along that line, I think Ulysses would try to test her like he does Courier Six, and would schedule a launch to see what she does. Veronica would cancel the launch and resolve to never tell her brothers and sisters in Steel about the secrets of the Divide. She might dump some water on the consoles for good measure. More importantly, I think she might finally realize that the unchanging family she clings to can only die out, or go down the same path that Elijah did.

ED-E: Given that ED-E is a robot, I think Ulysses would be hell-bent on finding whoever sent the little guy rather than consider that the eyebot saw a package with Enclave markings on it, picked it up of its own accord, and deposited it wherever it next encountered old American symbols. Through its communication with the other eyebots in the Divide, I think ED-E would get the picture about the courier's quest for the responsible party and play dumb for as long as possible. The other ED-E would help conceal the mistake to save its new friend, but Ulysses isn't stupid and would eventually figure it out. But how do you effectively punish a robot? Maybe he would set the nukes to target the Divide again, to send any remaining eyebots to the scrapyard for good, but it's a long shot. If he did, ED-E would cancel the launch, but would join its override system capabilities to its counterpart's and use the combined decryption power to ensure that both eyebots make it through the ordeal unharmed.

Rex: This good boy would never even consider entering the Divide. Seriously, what dog in their right mind would go in there? What cyberdog? No thank you. Still, the idea of a dog being responsible for the nukes and Ulysses continuing to hold a grudge is beyond funny. Maybe Rex was part of a mission for the Legion when he still belonged to Caesar, part of the group that leveled the Divide on behalf of the Bull. Maybe that's why Antony says he was "lost in battle," and maybe he's the only surviving member of that squad. I don't see why Ulysses would hang around the Divide waiting for the dog to look upon the hell he'd wrought, and he would more than likely seek the canine out himself as soon as he heard about the King's new pet. From there, the story turns into Courier Six investigating an assassination attempt on a goddamned dog, and the events of Lonesome Road play out pretty much the same way they were written - plus plenty of asides about how Ulysses is going to way too much effort over a creature that can't comprehend what nukes are.

Benny Gecko: Few people know that Yes Man was actually one of two securitrons that Benny managed to incapacitate and reprogram, and while the head of the Chairmen hid his favorite in the Tops for safekeeping, he sent the other out into the world for some recon and experimentation. Imagine his surprise when Yes Man was able to remotely hack into a nuclear missile silo and wipe out a budding trade community. And who would've thought that test run was going to come back to bite him in the ass, right after he was sprung from the Legion camp? I think Benny would do everything in his power to avoid entering the Divide, but I also think Ulysses would have little patience for him and would actively force the disgraced city boy into walking the Courier's Mile by blocking any other path out of the Mojave. Benny would form an attachment to ED-E, similar to Yes Man, but would complain the whole way and confront his tormenter with little remorse. He would also nuke both the NCR and the Legion if he came away alive, probably with some snarky one-liner about "letting the chips fall where they may."

Vulpes Inculta: Vulpes already has a few scorched-earth badges on his Pioneer Scouts belt (Nipton, Camp Searchlight, etc.), so eliminating the Divide is just another tactic in the grand strategy playing out between the Bull and the Bear. All he needed to do was leave a certain package in town, and the problem basically solved itself. Unfortunately, that deserter of his wasn't buried under the wreckage, and now Caesar has ordered him to assassinate the renegade. The fool keeps announcing his whereabouts every few hours or so, making tracking an easy task, but by the third time he feels eyes on the back of his neck and turns to find nothing there, Vulpes can't help but wonder whether the student has surpassed the teacher. The final showdown of Frumentarii would be something for the ages, a clash of philosophies and loyalties with plenty of verbal sparring between the bullets. If he survived the encounter with Ulysses, Vulpes would definitely nuke the NCR.

Ulysses: This cut companion can't very well face off against himself, can he? Unless... he was the courier who accidentally brought the Enclave detonator that sealed the Divide's doom. Given the weight of this grief, I think Ulysses would similarly force himself to walk the length of the Divide, take in the utter destruction that his own actions had wrought, and reflect on the meaning of one man changing the course of history. When it came down to the final room, the final decision, our disillusioned courier would activate the launch as a way of testing himself, testing his own resolve. Like Cass, he would stare at the machines shuddering to life around him until the very last moment, before shutting the system down for good, smiling under his breathing mask and walking away forever.

Victor: The robot cowboy doesn't really know what the angry man on the eyebot keeps talking about. He certainly doesn't remember delivering a package to a place called Hopeville or Ashton. Why would he? Mr. House is very good about covering his tracks, particularly when it comes to eliminating business rivals. Really, it could have been any old securitron. Nevertheless, Victor rolls merrily along in search of the courier who summoned his master, letting his own optics passively take in the devastated wasteland left behind by bombs that launched 200 years too late. Because of his robotic nature, I think it'd be a lot easier for Ulysses to get the drop on Victor and disable him at the temple, then wait until House sent another envoy or came himself. House would probably lose interest as soon as he got his data, which I don't think would stall Ulysses much: Once he figured out the Strip's owner isn't coming, he'd find some way to get inside the Lucky 38. If, however, Victor prevailed in the final struggle, he would nuke both the NCR and the Legion on behalf of Mr. House.

[kingreywrites]

So Pardon The Dust

Fandom: Tangled

Word Count: 2493

Summary: When they arrive in the Dark Kingdom, the king has been dead for years.

Note: this is bittersweet, but the idea couldn’t leave me alone, and i had to write it out! so yeah, edmund’s death is heavily talked about, be careful if that’s not your thing! I just love Destinies Collide, and love what-ifs, so this story was born from there asghdh

Read on ao3

When they arrive in the Dark Kingdom, the king has been dead for years. 

They don't know that. What they do know is that once their travel in a shaky gondola over an immense rift ends, everything seems too easy. The kingdom is dark, cold, smells of dust and rust permeating the air, and it makes it hard to imagine that anyone has ever lived in such a place. But Rapunzel's hair pushes her forward, and they don't spend any more time thinking about it. 

They enter the equally dark and cold castle, searching for the moonstone. 

Desperate for a flicker of warmth, Lance lights a fire in a lifeless living room with no windows. Eugene's gaze is drawn to a painting, throning above the fireplace and depicting a man and a woman he presumes to be the king and queen. 

He cannot explain the deep uneasiness he feels at the sight, or even why he can hardly tear his eyes away from the picture. His heart is racing, and he explains it by blaming it on his concern for Rapunzel. 

The queen's smile remains etched in his mind as he moves forward. 

The king has been dead for years. They don't know it, but Eugene finds a room filled with overhanging statues and, sitting in front of a gigantic door, is a tiny skeleton covered in too big clothes and dust. A dark crown still hangs grotesquely on its head, but the first thing Eugene sees is the purple gem necklace between the fingers of its single hand. The same as the queen's in the painting. 

Eugene has a bitter taste in his mouth. Rapunzel holds his hand, also upset, and he remembers that they are here for her, and for her destiny. He holds her fingers tighter between his, and they move toward the door. 

The ghosts are… certainly a surprise.

Death is not something new to Eugene, yet he can't help but feel nauseous when the king's ghost appears so close to his own skeleton, eyes full of a melancholy and anger that only he understands.

He doesn't seem to be capable of speech. He just groans and attacks, mindlessly guarding the stone that cost him his life. When Adira arrives to help them, she calls him Edmund, a soft grief in her voice, and Eugene keeps the name in a corner of his head. Edmund. Not a ghost, not a skeleton, but Edmund, who protected his kingdom until he died trapped within it.

Finally, Eugene is the one who destroys his statue. He cuts off its head, and tries to forget how a few seconds before, it was his own that could have been lost, if the king's axe had not struck beside it. Luck saved his life this time.

Adira asks Rapunzel to enter the moonstone chamber by herself. She says that it's her destiny, and hers alone. Eugene wants to protest, worry burning in his heart, but he doesn't even have the time - Rapunzel looks at Cassandra, and announces that the three of them will go inside. He should be relieved, but he can't help but take another look at the king's- Edmund's body. Many people have died for this stone, and the more time passes, the more terrified he is of what awaits them on the other side. He knows death, more than any other member of this group probably; he's been around it personally. He promised himself when he came back to life, that he would never let Rapunzel die the way he did, slowly and violently, when she has so much to live for.

He doesn't know where this promise will lead him. 

When they arrive in the Dark Kingdom, the king is dead. They enter easily, and though the ghosts of past rulers stand in their way, the path to the moonstone is far from the most difficult adventure he has ever experienced. Eugene is worried, of course he is - he's afraid of the conclusion of their journey, afraid of what he cannot predict. Rapunzel tells him she loves him, and he almost wants to throw up, because they're in the middle of a kingdom murdered by that exact stone Rapunzel intends to grab. I love you too, he thinks, but can't manage to say, because the words sound like a goodbye, and he's not ready for that. He'd die one thousand times for her, if she asked him to. He'd die for her against her will too, if necessary, but he knows he can't get in the way today. As desperate as he is to protect her, he knows how much she values being able to draw her own path.

He wants to grab the moonstone first because he loves her, and because he loves her, he stays back.

That's not the case for everyone. He notices too late Cass running for it, and Demanitus' warning echoes once again in his ears, mocking now that the only thing he can do is try to pull Rapunzel to safety as the world explodes in colours. The king is dead, and their friendship with Cassandra is too, the shadow of Gothel haunting Rapunzel once again despite how much she deserves to be free from it. Cassandra flees, Eugene hurts his arm when she pushes him away, and Rapunzel runs after her, desperate to salvage what can be.

It doesn't amount to much, in the end.

Things settle down, as much as they can while Rapunzel still sits listlessly near the broken bridge Cassandra left behind, and Eugene goes in the castle again, in search of bandages this time. His left arm hurts.

He doesn't expect to find Adira, standing silently in front of... Edmund. Her back is rigid, her mouth in a straight line, but when he calls her name, he sees a foreign melancholy in her eyes. He doesn't know her that well, but there's a lot Eugene can understand from looking into somebody's eyes.

Adira sighs, shoulders lowering, and he's sure she hears his unsaid question. "I shouldn't be surprised," she says, but it's clear that in a way, she is. "I… knew, that King Edmund was not well, when we left. I often considered that he might very well be…" she trails off, her eyes falling on his body again.

"It's different to be sure," Eugene responds softly, his voice loud in the silence of this immense room. Watching them - Adira, and this skeleton, barely hanging together enough to recognise a human shape - it was difficult to conceive that once upon a time, they had stood here together, alive and happy, perhaps. He can't imagine what it feels like to see an old friend this way, with no warning. "Adira…"

"It's okay, Fishskin," she smiles, and in her voice, he could hear the echoes of all the time Rapunzel told him she was fine, because she didn't know how to act when she was not.

He barely knows Adira. Both because he didn't ask, and because she didn't want him, or anyone, to know her. But he can guess easily that her life had never been one of peace, not even before leaving the Dark Kingdom, and losing contact with the other members of the Brotherhood. He doesn't think she's unhappy, per se, but he- he knows, they all know, especially now after everything that happened, that anger and fear and grief are not emotions that should be let to fester until they explode. Maybe it's his worry for Rapunzel speaking; maybe he's confusing everything, and Adira is simply dealing with the situation the way she wants to, but before he can think better of it, Eugene takes a step forward, and asks her if she wants to bury the king's body.

"To- To give him a better resting place," he explains awkwardly, her eyes piercing right through him. He's ready to say sorry and hope she doesn't kill him for overstepping her boundaries, but, to his surprise, she softens, a genuine if sad smile on her lips.

"Actually Fishskin, that's… a great idea."

And so they do it. Adira finds a bear hood that the King used to wear - Dabney, she says reverently - and they place his bones in it, carefully moving everything in tandem. They don't really talk while doing it. There's not much to be said. Eugene thinks of this king, who was so desperate to save his kingdom that he doomed it, and he thinks about death, too. About how lonely it is.

Adira leads them down a few corridors, and they emerge in a small, grey looking garden. They walk until they find an unmarked tombstone.

"The queen," Adira announces shortly, and Eugene wonders if she helped bury her too.

It's not the first time Eugene digs a grave for someone. He remembers starkly getting out of the tower with Rapunzel, both of them entirely different people than who they were before, and finding a cloak and ashes at the bottom of it. He remembers how quietly distraught Rapunzel had been, and how he had proposed to bury what was left of Gothel.

Shaking his head, he tries to think about something else, but it's hard given the situation. His arm aches at each of his movements. Surprisingly, Adira breaks the silence, and that's enough to distract him.

"I often disagreed with King Edmund," she says, without looking at him. "He was a good king, but his duty to the moonstone blinded him to the bigger picture, and I was afraid that it would lead him, and us, to lose everything. I was right, as I often am," she chuckles, but there's no mirth behind it. Simply grief. Something that can't be quite put into words.

"How did he lose his arm?" Eugene asks, voice low as they finally lower the bones into the ground. His eyes catch the sight of the necklace falling aside, and when they're done, he picks it up, thumb running over the smooth surface of the gem.

"The queen died," Adira whispers. She's looking at the necklace too, when he raises his head. "Edmund's grief led him to act on the anger he had been repressing for too long, but the moonstone was much more powerful than he imagined. Its retaliation costs him everything he held dear."

Gently, Adira takes the necklace from him, and Eugene can't explain the impulse that makes him want to hold onto it for a little while longer.

He's sentimental, he reasons. There's something deeply touching about this man dying while looking at the last thing connecting him to his late wife. These are good explanations, but neither of them addresses the unease and bitterness rising in Eugene's throat. He doesn't understand it himself.

Adira looks at the necklace for a long time, emotions he can't name in her expression. Memories she will not share make her frown, and Eugene feels more and more like he doesn't belong in this moment.

"Should we… bury that with him?" he asks awkwardly. Adira bites her lips, and finally shakes her head.

"This necklace was special for the queen. I know she intended to pass it down to her children."

A terrible voice in Eugene's mind reminds him that it's too late - they both died, and that necklace, that tradition, died with them too. He's hit by the tragedy of it all again, relentlessly reminded that the king passed away long before anyone could try to save him. And they would have, Rapunzel would have convinced him to let her through, she would have given him faith, Eugene is sure of that. He thinks that's why he's angry, too. The king has been dead for years, maybe, alone and desperate until his very last moments. And Eugene, Eugene wishes to go back in time, and give him another chance, get him the help he needed before it was too late.

He has never been good at accepting unhappy endings.

"When… When King Edmund banished us from the Dark Kingdom," Adira continues, "he also made another sacrifice. He sent his son away, when he was barely a baby, to be raised far from the moonstone and its dangers."

Son. A baby, sole survivor of the royal family, who probably doesn't know he is. A baby, who isn't one anymore now, but who is probably alive, and the thought is enough for Eugene to feel something new - he'd call this hope, but he's not sure that it fits. Closure, perhaps.

"You want to give their son the necklace," he smiles shakily.

"That's what needs to be done," Adira agrees, before putting away the necklace in her pocket. The gem catches the moonlight one last time, shining brighter than before, and it's easier for Eugene to let go, this time. "However, I did not keep track of the prince. I don't know what became of him, after we left, but I will keep searching until I find him."

"Hey," Eugene grins, wanting to lighten the atmosphere a little, "you searched for the mystical and maybe non-existent sundrop, and you found it, so I'm sure a prince will be no trouble. And if you need anything, we'll be happy to help," he adds, more earnest this time.

There's a newfound warmth in her eyes, and she inclines her head, acknowledging his words. The situation feels easier, somewhat. They finish replacing the dirt on top of the king's body, and Adira places a little stone to mark the emplacement.

The king is dead, and Cassandra is gone, but Eugene wants to believe that they all can find their own healing in time.

One wrong move reawakens the pain in his arm, and Adira gauges him when he flinches. She tells him that if there are any medical supplies around there, they're probably in the King's personal quarters.

With her instructions, it's not too hard to find them. The bedroom he finds is enormous, which only heightens how empty and dark it feels. Blindly, Eugene makes his way to a window, and pushes the heavy curtains away, letting the moonlight flood the room, and reveal the ambient dust like as many little stars in the night sky.

One side of the bed is unmade. Next to the other, there is an empty crib.

His heart is racing, and he can't explain it. He turns to the bedside table, and does find what appear to be bandages, next to a pile of papers, so close to the bed that it is easy to guess that the king often looked at them. 

Eugene approaches. He tells himself, without much conviction, that he should not look. That even in death the king deserves to keep his privacy. Whatever these papers are, they must have meant a lot to him, keeping him company in his darkest hours, and Eugene doesn't belong in this story.

It only takes him a step, and a second, to recognize his old wanted posters.

[alethiometry]

Edward Kenway for character asks!

ooooooo okay i should open this with a disclaimer: i have not finished black flag yet (about 2/3 of the way through i think? i need to level up my ship so i can beat the next story mission lol) so everything i'm saying here is based on the game up to thatch's death, and everything we know about edward in ac 3: forsaken and the comics that came out a couple years ago.

First impression

oh boy... to be honest, one of the reasons it took me such a long time to get around to playing black flag (it was one of the first ps4 games i bought when i got my console in 2016, and i didn't start until about a month ago) was because i didn't really feel particularly strongly about edward's character design. i was vaguely interested in That One Pirate Assassin Game after having watched (and loved) black sails, but was afraid i would be let down; to me edward just looked like Some Dude, and i was still hung up on the black sails gang. to me, black sails and its characters were so genre/time period-defining that any other piece of pirate media just seemed lackluster in comparison.

i'd also heard a lot of praise for edward and for ac4 in general so i was aware that it was a very popular and well-received game. but since i mostly heard that from reddit (didn't join tumblr ac fandom until odyssey in 2018) i kind of discounted it, bc gamer reddit tastes are... questionable at best.

Impression now

I LOVE HIM!!! i always think i want stories about virtuous characters who believe in goodness and kindness and aren't motivated by gold or glory but aren't afraid to do what needs to be done to help others who can't help themselves. and sometimes that's true (coughratonhnhake:toncough). other times i end up clowning on myself because i realize that it's so much fun when said good/kind character has a rough and rugged exterior, and is motivated by personal gain (i think edward and kassandra are kinda kindred spirits across time and space in that regard, but maybe that's another rant for another time). sometimes you just want someone to be a little bit of an opportunistic bastard, and boy does edward fit that to a T. he's an incredibly complex man, and i think what really got me was that even as he was impersonating assassins and then templars and then assassins again, all for personal gain (pickpocketing the templars in havana while he gains their trust and agrees to do their dirty work lmfao my beloved <3), his primary motivation for doing so was to prove to caroline and her family that he is someone worth a damn, that he is capable of great things and that he is worthy of their love and acceptance. and i know from ac forsaken that the marriage with caroline doesn't last (though i haven't played ac4 far enough to see if that happens on screen, or if it occurs between the game and the novel) which makes his backstory in the game all the more heartbreaking. but his optimism and perseverance and determination to prove himself are all what make me love him.

so that's edward the romantic. now let's talk about the way edward is with adewale, his crew, and his friends. and let's also put the rest of this behind a readmore bc girl i am RANTINGGGGGG

he has several lines that he says to adewale that make me physically cringe (namely: "many of [these men] wouldn't accept you as captain" or "what was it like being enslaved?" like i get that someone like edward would be asking that question in good faith and genuine curiosity but also JESUS CHRIST UBISOFT). but on the flip side - cringey as those questions are, he also takes the time to actually listen and learn, and i think he genuinely values the perspective that he gets from adewale allowing him to open these lines of trust and communication. there's a patience and mutual respect there that i adore.

i also love how much edward loves his crew and his other pirate friends. those scenes of him + kidd + thatch + adewale + hornigold (lol) drinking on the beach and having a grand old time and talking about establishing - to borrow one of my favorite chills-down-my-spine phrases from black sails - a nation of thieves, for people like them to live and prosper, free from the chokehold of civilization. and i know he's not as outwardly invested in counterculture/independence/anticolonialism as thatch and vane and kidd are, but the fact that he so wholeheartedly supports his friends' goals, lofty and impossible as they are, speaks volumes about his love for his friends.

Favorite moment

every scene he has with kidd when kidd casually and softly reminds him that they see that he is a good person beneath his opportunistic and rambunctious exterior. i especially love when they discover julien du casse's mansion containing orders for templars to go out and hunt down assassins: the way kidd immediately knows that edward wants to help the assassins as a way to make up for the damage he did while masquerading as a templar, even if he hasn't voiced it aloud himself. the way that they don't force edward to admit anything about himself before he is ready, but still constantly remind him that he has a good heart. they give him space to come to terms with his compassionate side in a world/environment that more often than sees compassion as something to be stamped out or cast aside. i don’t love when characters are forced to be the Moral Compass for a main dude character, but i think it works for edward and kidd.

Idea for a story

not an edward story per se, but there are 2 povs into edward's life that i would cut off (someone else's) limbs for:

jenny's pov growing up in the kenway household. from haytham's pov it seems that she knows way more about his past than haytham ever did (it was hinted at that there are rumors about edward’s past as haytham was growing up that he wasn’t privy to, but i don’t think at any point in the novel does haytham ever find out definitively that his father was a pirate) and i want to know how she knew so much, and more into what her life was like - through her eyes rather than haytham, who is like 10 years younger and by his own admission barely understands her and barely has a functional relationship with her. i'll expand further on edward and jenny in the next question/prompt/bullet point, actually, bc i have a LOT more to say.

connor's pov learning about his grandfather from... idk? who's around to tell him? what's so goddamn sad is that by the time connor rebuilds the colonial brotherhood he's kinda the only one left. sure there's aveline down in louisiana, but as far as we know everyone who was around in edward's generation is dead now, and i'm not sure how much of the kenway saga is preserved for connor to discover, or if all this information about their family line was discovered in the modern-day, by your abstergo employee character, and later by osto berg in the comics. which is why i so badly want a revelations-style game where connor traces his assassin heritage back to the caribbean, relives some of edward's memories, and then makes the trip to london to see his aunt jenny. it would have been such a cool way to round out the kenway saga.

Unpopular opinion

idk how popular or unpopular this is bc i rarely see other in-depth posts about it on my dash, but edward was a terrible father to jenny. he was every bit the wonderful and loving father to haytham for the 10 years that haytham had a father, but i wish we'd seen more of jenny's perspective than just a few lines of dialogue in haytham's diary: i hate the way edward sidelined her and raised her in the same manner that any other wealthy person of the time would have raised their daughter - that is, for the sole purpose of sitting pretty and marrying her off in an arrangement that would benefit the family. it's especially hard to reconcile because in ac4 there are female assassins in the americas, and there are female pirates in the caribbean, so it's not like edward isn't aware that women have as much right as any man to live life on their own terms. it just seems like by the time he returns to england and settles down with his family, he's reverted back to the societal norms and gender roles that the pirates fought (and lost) against, and it's hard not to be deeply disappointed by that.

to be clear, i don't begrudge edward settling down and becoming a Rich Society Man. dude deserves to live comfortably with his loving family. he has every right to dote on his wife and children, and leave behind the hardships of being a pirate. but i think "fightning against deeply-ingrained cultural norms/expectations is a long and bloody struggle, and after losing so many people he cared so deeply about, i think it's understandable that edward wouldn't want to continue that fight alone (and also adewale is still fighting the good fight) (do NOT @ me about ac rogue I Pretend I Do Not See It)" and "i don't love the way edward sidelined his daughter into societally-expected gender roles she did not want; it makes me think that he did not continue drinking his Respect Women Juice as much as i thought he did/wanted him to" are two opinions that can coexist.

Favorite relationship

i don't know that i ship edward romantically with anyone, actually. i thought he and caroline were cute in the beginning, but it's hard to want to ship them knowing that she leaves him eventually. and ofc there'd edward/tessa in ac forsaken, and we know they were very happy together and that he loved her so so much. but we don't see that relationship except through haytham's eyes.

as for non-romantic relationships, i already talked at length above about his relationships with adewale and the other pirates and kidd, and i'll just leave it at that. i'm also vaguely aware that edward's got some upcoming scenes with anne bonny, but i'm not at that point in the game yet so i don't have much to say about the two of them. so far i've only seen them say a few lines to each other at the nassau tavern.

Favorite headcanon

kassandra absolutely rubbed shoulders with edward at some point during his time in the caribbean; i like to think that she needed to lie low for some reason (maybe she was with the assassins idk) and joined his crew. i just need my best stabby gal and my second-favorite stabby dude to be pals!

finally, this isn't a headcanon per se but it is obligatory that any time i talk about kenways i yell for a bit about the fact that EDWARD WOULD HAVE LOVED CONNOR SO SO SO MUCH AND I'M FOREVER DEVASTATED THAT HE NEVER GOT TO MEET HIM. at the same time, if edward hadn't been murdered and haytham not been indoctrinated into the templars the way he had, i'm not sure connor would even have existed. and in a way i'm glad that edward wasn't around to see how broken and cynical and depressed haytham became, because i think that would have absolutely broken his heart.

send me a character!

[kanohivolitakk]

Miserix!

YOOO I was hoping someone would send me Miserix for the ask game. He's one of my favorite characters ever since I was a wee lass yet I almost never talk about him for one reason or another. So this is good opportunity to give my Miserix related thoughts.

Content warning for suicide mention in one of the last points btw.

For starters, I find Miserix to be a rather interesting character. This is due to his backstory of being the disgraced former leader of Makuta who was overthrown by Teri and being exiled, desiring. Miserix has this...certain aura of intrigue and mystery due has this...aura of mystery and superiority surrounding him. He isnt a mysterious character by any stretch of imagination, but he def has a vibe of mystery to him.

I love his design so much...Hes a big large dragon with such a kickass design, can you say no to that. I also love how he was designed by a 12 year old girl.

Speaking of...CAN I JUST SAY I LOVE HOW MISERIX CANONICALLY HAS HIS DEFAULT FORM BEING A GIANT RED DRAGON BECAUSE HE FEELS THAT WILL GIVE HIM A SENSE LF SUPERIORITY (+ he likes dragons and feels comfortable in being a dragon form as such). This is why I love this dragon man so much, talk about a chad.

One of the reasons Miserix sticks with me is because of him being one of the few truly neutral characters in the series. Like sure he is a big angry dragon who hates Teridax and wants it all to be destroyed but I don't necessarily think he's evil per say, just someone whose mind was warped by revenge (and even if youd count him as a villain hes different from most other villains). Helps a lot that the object of his revenge was the main villain by say.

Him being an angry dragon who wants revenge is so fucking cathartic and I love it. Since like, sometimes you just want to go apeshit at those who hurt you, ya know. You Miserix, kill Terry like you want to!! Again what a chad!!!

Miserix is one of the most tragic characters in the series when you dissect him. Like, guy was loyal to his duty and mission, was betrayed by his most trusted lietnuant and then almost killed. And that betrayal and isolation degraded his mind to the point he's jusr a mindless beast who wants revenge at this point. And its so sad, especially when you wonder how much he changed due to these experiences.

Speaking of....I think about pre!exile Miserix a lot. Given how the Miserix we see in canon is...heavily affected by Teridax betrayal I wonder what he was before that. What did he value, how did he operate the Brotherhood? Was he deeply focused in his duty or did he have time for other interests and having meaningful relationships? What was his relationship with Teridax like before the latter betrayed him? What about the rest of the Brotherhood? How much did he change, did he have any values or was he just a mindless rage monster? There's so much room for interpretationand speculation and to headcanon and I love that.

The mainthing I can think of is... Pre!Exile Miserix is very driven by duty. Like, in Mutran Chronicles its made clear how he was very invested in his duty and believed in balance and order. It made him having this sense of ...goodness I guess??? Or at the very least that his arrogance was kept in check unlike the rest of the Makuta.

When I was younger I was very "UWU Miserix was good the other Makuta were evil f*cktwits who betrayed him" for a very long time but honestly rereading Mutran Chronicles made me realize that while he certainly had some kind of moral code he was messed up too (see how he convinced Takadox to act as a spy). Like, Miserix was like, lawful neutral at best (chaotic good if you want to stretch it) Def had a moral code to an extent but was not above shady actions.

Speaking of...I kiiinda ship Miserix/Takadox because of those lines that established Miserix hired Takadox to act as Barraki spy in Mutran Chronicles. Like the way Takadox looked at Miserix with concern when the Barraki were leaving the meeting w the BOM just really made me interested in their dynamic despite the fact we know NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT IT. but the little we know gives so much potential for them to hacing a really interesting dynamic. Its a shame that Takadox yeeted off in FOF before he could interactwith his former emplyoer, it wouldve given interesting insight into the two.

I aggressively headcanon that Miserix was the first Makuta ever created, and possibly one of Mata Nuis first creations [since iirg MN created the Makuta while Great Spirits and Artakha created most of the GSR species ]

As a kid I seriously thought Miserix was a girl for a while because his name + design were kinda feminine for my child mind fsr. Because of this misconception I had of him as a child, I have ended up in headcanoning him as nonbinary (either genderfluid or bigender to be more specific, leaning towards the latter tbh). He would more or less default to he/him pronouns due to being more used to them but wouldn't mind being refered with feminine or genderneutral pronouns. That being said, he would probably be VERY against being refered with it/its pronouns due to seeing it as dehumanizing.

Also on a "baby me saw Miserix design as androgynous" I heavily hc his voice as androgynous too. Angry, low and booming yes, but in a way that doesn't sound too masculine. This is tve main reason I'm mixed on his voice in the Ignition stop motion: its too masculine for my taste (that being said the voice sounds super jnique and I always hcd Miserix having a rather unique sounding voice soo)

Break from headcanons and thoughts to say: MISERIX HAS SOME OF THE MOST BADASS LINES IN THE SERIES. So much of his lines are so badass and he def has a lot of my favorite quotes in series. Just so much confidence and badassness oozing him.

I find the fact Miserix was turned into a painting by Teridax incredibly funny. Also cant believe paintings are canon in Bionicle.

I think about post-canon Miserix a lot. Now that Teridax is dead, what now? Where would he go there? Would he still be rage-filled monster ,now just having no purpose for his rage? Or would he just wander purposlessly,feeling like theres no reason for him to exist? Regardless, there would be this emptiness... At some point Miserix whole existence became fixated on Teridax so like....When Teri died it was kinda..what then. Post canon Miserix is by far one of the more interesting post canon characters given how much it wouldve affected him. Eh, knowing how Greg writes hed either done "Miserix is driven mad/still rage filled" in the laziest way possible, come up some really stupid and convoluted thing that was out of tje blue or have him being killed off by Velika or one of his cronies instead of exploring his character in any meaninful way.

On a related note, can we talk about how its canon that in one universe Miserix loosing his purpose made him so depressed he killed himself? I think about that sometimesand just...man guy really was driven by having a duty and purpose.Again, makes me wonder what happened with prime!timeline Miserix post canon.

All in all ,Miserix is great and criminally underrated. Hes both a character thats incredibly simple(angry dragon who wants to kill Teridax) but has potential for complexity in him thanks to all the potential his story has. His story is a tragic one, being given a duty he was willing to commit to his fullest, only to be betrayed by his kind and casted away, this slowly turning him into a rage-obsessed monster we see today.Miserix is such a great and interesting character, and I wish more of the fandom paid attention to him.

[dreamylyfe-x]

what is your unpopular 11.06 opinion we want to hear more 😎

Ahhhh. I really don’t know how this one is going to go over. Part of the problem in conveying it is that I know my reaction is deeply rooted in my own childhood. Which was not standard. And the people who disagree with me might have their own non-standard childhoods which feed their opinion. So no one’s not valid, but... I haven’t seen anyone say this, so here goes. 

Regarding this exchange in 11x06:

Mickey: Well, Frank wasn’t a homophobic psychopath who tortured you for years. 

Ian: No, he’s just an emotionally abusive alcoholic who stole my money for drugs, broke my nose, tried to profit off my mania... 

Mickey: I guess we both had shit dads. Let’s get the fuck out of here. 

I’ve seen people say Ian shouldn’t have said this -- like very angry that he did -- because Frank doesn’t compare to Terry and I guess it minimizes Mickey’s experience for him to point out the ways that Frank sucks. And the pushback I’ve seen is that Ian can absolutely say that because Frank and Terry both suck. 

I get that. But I also don’t think that's what Ian is doing and I don’t think that’s how Mickey hears it. 

I think I need something like the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal to explain what I mean here, so for that sake and that sake only -- let’s say there are only two kinds of families. There are families where the parenting is acceptable-to-great, and then there are families where the parenting is poor-to-terrible. Basically you have your “authorities won’t get involved” families and your “authorities SHOULD get involved” families. Ian and Mickey are both in Group B. 

But. Everyone who watches the show knows this. What has stuck out for me about the conversation about this particular exchange is that I haven’t seen much talk about how profoundly alienating can be to be from Group B. First you have the fun stuff that accompanies a traumatic childhood: instability, anxiety, depression, PTSD, complex PTSD, compromised coping strategies, a lack of support, a general uncertainty about what is and isn’t “normal” for most people... the list goes on. 

But you ALSO have to deal with how Group A interacts with your more public trauma. And, armed with that information, the way they act can be bizarre. And I realize I’m getting personal here, but I feel like if you DON’T have a publicly known trauma you might honestly never experience having people say things to you like “You help me remember how lucky I am.” 

(I have honestly heard that so many times. I truly do not know why people say this to me. It is not helpful. I am not helping them remember that they are lucky on purpose. I am just having weird/bad things happen to me within their view.) 

So. Here is Mickey have a very emotional moment on the street in front of the house and three whole Gallaghers. The one with tact and a Terry-Milkovich-fathered-ex ducks behind the ambulance to give Mickey some privacy. And Ian, his husband, reaches out. He touches his shoulder and Mickey is like iron. He asks him if he’s ok and Mickey doesn’t tell him to fuck off. Instead Mickey, who never talks about this father, says it’s “weird” to see Terry like that. And then lists various acts of revenge he could visit on Terry while nearly vibrating with suppressed emotion. There’s a lot of anger, but there’s something else there, too. It could be a lot of things. I read grief. There is some kind of loss for Mickey in what’s happened to Terry. Not because of anything Terry ever gave him -- maybe because of things Terry never gave him that now definitively never will -- but whatever it is, Mickey’s feelings surrounding Terry in that moment are complicated. 

And who is going to understand those feelings? Or help Mickey make sense of them? None of these other Milkoviches are Terry’s son. Mickey is the only person from that immediate family left in Southside. He is really going through this moment alone. 

But. He has Ian. Who knows more than almost anyone what Terry is like. Who has witnessed some of the worst things Terry has done. Who knows Mickey doesn’t like to talk about his father and respects it. And who, in this moment, validates Mickey’s grief -- the far less comprehensible emotion to Mickey -- over his anger. And then, when Mickey pushes back with the reason he has to be angry at Terry in a way that isolates himself from Ian, Ian responds by pointing out what they have in common. Terry’s worse, but they both are from the Brotherhood of Men With Bad Dads. Ian doesn’t share Mickey’s trauma but he knows the shape of it. He knows how to interact with Mickey about it better than anyone. Ian understand insecurity and scarcity and violence in the home, and in that moment Mickey understanding what he and Ian share is more important than focusing on what no one can share with Mickey.

Not everyone is going to feel that way in Mickey’s shoes. But we have pretty heavy indications that this is how Mickey feels, because of how the rest of the episode unfolds. Mickey never loses it with Ian. Ian lets Mickey decide what they are going to do, and only intervenes -- gently -- when he thinks Mickey is going to suffer for his actions. This provides the space where Mickey gets to work through his feelings -- mostly silently -- and eventually make his choice about how he’s going to deal with it.  

There is our trauma, and there is our shame about our trauma and then there is the weight of people who will judge both those things with no real context for them. Those three things together are exhausting. In that moment, I think there was real value for Mickey in having his experience normalized just that little bit. Just that whatever else he was dealing with in that moment, he was not standing next to someone who didn’t understand hating your father. I think Mickey wants this to be a thing he and Ian have in common. It’s part of why they can belong to each other so totally. Ian isn’t here to tell Mickey what makes him a freak. He’s here to give him space to feel however he needs to feel. And I truly do get why people don’t see that moment that way. I do. But I see more value for Mickey in what Ian did rather than what he didn’t do. 

[queer-crusader]

How do you think Silver & Flint's relationship would have evolved if things hadn't ended the way they did in S4? How do you think things would have progressed through time? I tend to think about the what ifs a lot. I'm just curious what your thoughts are on it.

OOFT. I mean i have many thoughts! It’s... very hard to say really. Because i think one thing Black Sails does incredibly well is the way it builds a story and a character. Many choices made in this show are so dependent on what the characters want and who they intrinsically are and how they influence each other (willingly/knowingly or not), and i feel like there are many very complex interwoven roads that led them to the conclusion they got to. Which is one of the many reasons the finale felt like such a tragedy; you know things are going to end badly because you kind of see it coming. And dear god it does hurt, even with Flint being reunited with Thomas.

So. I think there are two ways to answer this question, and you can sort of divide them into canon-ish versus fanon wish. These may not exactly be clearly indicated bc like i said i have Many Thoughts, and i apologise in advance 😅 Another thing i’ll be looking at here is something we had to lay out for our characters when i studied acting - the goals/objectives/motivations of the character, and their emotional/mental state. None of this is meant to be critical against any character. I simply adore analyising them and the paths of the story, and I love each and every character i talk about here deeply.

So, looking at that finale. There’s several things that i could take from what you say about things not ending the way they did - for now, i’m looking at the confrontation between Flint and Silver in the woods, where Silver forces Flint to quit his war and reunites him with Thomas.

Firstly, let’s analyse what we get from the canon, and what i believe motivates these characters to bring them to the point they end up at. There’s that famous line i think of Silver where he says he doesn’t know anymore where he ends and Flint begins - their thinking patterns have become so intertwined, they basically share a braincell. The tricky thing about this is, just because he and Flint think similarly, share tactics, and a knowledge of how to use people in their means, just because they understand each other well, doesn’t mean they share opinions and morals. Flint especially seems to forget this. He believes Silver is with him in his cause to end Imperial rule. But from Silver’s final actions, it’s clear Silver values his personal wants and needs above that of this abstract crowd of people. He’s not oppressed - or hasn’t felt the effects of Imperial/religious oppression (as far as we canonically know) like Flint and Madi have. And that means he doesn’t have the same drive. He’s driven by his personal connections to these people, i believe, purely from his own point of view. Like, i suspect he struggles to place himself in the shoes of Madi or Flint to feel their pain and motivation. He can see it, he just... doesn’t fully grasp it. (There’s also a question of whether he wishes to, but i feel nowhere NEAR qualified on answering that, nor do i think the canon gives us enough material to give a perfectly cut & dry answer.)

So you have this big miscommunication. Flint believes that, because he and Silver have basically become one shared braincell, they have the same goals, while Silver is still driven from a point of selfishness. (Side-note: there was a moment in the show he became selfless! He wouldn’t give up his crew when faced with torture from Vane’s quartermaster! But then he lost a leg over it and it seemed to dampen that selflessness. I think from there on, moments where he seems to be motivated by the good of the crew come instead from an internal need to belong and be loved more so than a genuine sense of brotherhood. That brotherhood may still have been there, but i think he might have suppressed that instinct a little and instead let the more selfish needs take more of a front seat. Understandable and not bad/evil, like that’s super valid of him. But my point is, he’s not exactly ready to fight for another man’s cause he doesn’t have as much of a personal emotional profit in, especially when he knows it’ll end in certain death for everyone he cares about and he knows cares about him.)

So that’s sort of where the characters are mentally in that climax. I may be skirting details and summarising a bit hastily, but it’s also been a GOOD while since i’ve watched season 4, so i apologise. Flint (and Madi as well - she plays an equally important role i think!) is fuelled by a mix of rage born from oppression/discrimination, and a protectiveness for others who may suffer the same fate. Silver meanwhile is fuelled by a need much closer to home - to be loved and to keep those he cares for and deems important to him alive and around. I’ve framed it as their emotional drive, but really it is also their goal, their objective in that finale. Flint and Madi are looking to burn down an oppressive system while Silver... isn’t. For him, their goals stand directly in the way of his. And by the end of the show, he’s gained enough power to prevail in his objective, cancelling out those of Flint and Madi.

So, could it have gone differently? I think, if we wanna play with canon and keep it as close to canon as possible... It seems almost impossible. These people’s goals just do not align. (There’s that sweet sweet tragedy again.) So what you need for it to go differently in short is for one of, if not several, of these people to change their goal. But we’re talking their MAIN objective, their main driving force at this point in the show - so like, the chances of that are slim. ESPECIALLY if we’re talking about the canon characters. After all, for that, the characters would need to look inside themselves and fucking face up to some of their issues and work on them. (This is something which these characters are not very prone to do, bc jesus it’s a mess in there and if that were me i’d preferably not turn introspective either and be forced to look at all that.)

So if we wanted Flint to change his goal, he’d need to come to terms with the Empire being untouchable - which is bullshit bc like my man has a POINT, just because they seem to be able to be brought down doesn’t mean they ain’t - and to accept the homophobia and oppression they treated him and Thomas with, which, yeah fuck that, absolutely not, his rage and his goals are valid as FUCK. If we wanted to change Madi’s - lmao like listen i understand wanting her and Silver happy together bc we ship EVERYTHING in this house, but she’s poc and proper royalty and wants to end slavery. We ain’t touching her goals. So that just leaves Silver. Silver would need to face a part of himself that keeps him from placing Flint’s goals, or Madi’s goals, over his own. (I suspect we circle back to that insecurity and need to be loved, which defo stems from whatever trauma he swears doesn’t affect who he is today.) So for that he’d uhh... need therapy. And a shit tonne of it. But then you still have the issue that Flint and Madi will likely fight their war (bc they DESERVE IT), which may lead to what Silver considers inevitable - that they will die early and horribly, and he ends up all alone.

So, looking at playing with the canon-ish to change things? It’s gonna end in tragedy. There’s doesn’t seem any other way about it, i fear; not with the way these characters were written, with who they are and what drives them and what they want. If it doesn’t end in tragedy in one way, then almost certainly in another.

So what are our other options? What if we look at the fanon wish - whether it’s silverflint, or silvermadi, or madisilverflint, or just to have these kids be fucking happy? Well, you know what? Maybe it DOESNT have to end up in tragedy. Maybe, if Silver does align himself with the goals of the people he loves - after learning to communicate and place himself in other people’s shoes and prioritise the needs of his loved ones and compromising and all that jazz (god this boy needs therapy that only the fanon can likely give him, rip) - he could join them in their war. And maybe, his genius and creativity and quick wit will in fact propel their cause forward and help so much, none of them dies an early gruesome death. It’s not impossible! It just requires that sweet sweet character growth he doesn’t get the opportunity for in canon.

Another option, and this one is perhaps a little more plausible if the show had no episode limit or a desire to end in tragedy and “align” itself with “history” (they’ve played fast and loose with real history i’ve learned, and like,, it’s a story about fictional characters so why did it have to align itself with history?? Okay fine, as a prequel to Treasure Island, it still needed to end in tragedy for Silver bc we know where he ends up. Were there no Treasure Island and no rules and we could do what we wanted with the show and write a new ending, then what?). This one is more popular, you see it in loads of fics and i like it a lot. Silver sends Flint to the plantation. Flint and Thomas break out and get their war anyway. They’re pissed at Silver for a bit for being a selfish dick shitting on Flint’s dreams, but like,, it’s not as if it stopped Flint. (We can even look at it like Silver knew they’d probably fight their war and have better odds with Thomas in the mix, giving them a better opportunity - but like, that’s just a fun headcanon to play with that i don’t think aligns with what he explicitly states to want in canon.) And then, after some years, everyone learns to communicate and talk things out and maybe, maybe, Silver grows a bit and things become healthier between him and Flint.

Listen, the moral of the story is this. I love all the ships in this show. I think they’re all neat, and i love the different iterations in which people bring them to life and try to align them with canon. Do i think that with the canon we’ve been given, silverflint could happen? Maybe. Would it be healthy?? I mean... Probably not 😅 but like, that doesn’t prevent me from shipping it. (That’s not the point of shipping - sometimes you just wanna see that sweet sweet chemistry pay off, even tho u know it ain’t healthy. The characters are fictional. It’s okay. No-one will get hurt - apart from maybe you if you end up romanticising it and taking that into real life but ooft that’s a whole other kettle of fish.) But god, that’s the fucking JOY of fanfics ya know?? It may also be why i enjoy writing my modern au so much xD therapy is an option, and canon means even less than usual. All im saying is, when it comes to the relation between silver and flint, the fan community are a fucking godsend. You want them to be friends?? We got fics for that! Want them to bone? SO many fics for that! Want a sort of father-son role?? Uhh nowhere near enough fics for that, but the fandom’s still active so you never know! Partners in crime?? Hell YEAH that has potential, even in canon i think if u just stretch out fan-written episodes far enough!! (God can you imagine the POTENTIAL?? Ignore the war, the grittiness, the drama. Get me some pirate hijinks where the stakes are low but they’re still sharing a braincell.)

(Hmm. Now i need to add another idea to my WIP list lmao xD)

Anywayyy, hope this satisfies ur curiosity anon!!

[paradife-loft]

Close reading all the Jin Guangyao scenes: episode 24

Episode 10 | Episode 11 | Episode 22 | Episode 23

The title of this is a lie, actually, since the first half? two thirds? of this is going to be finishing up with episode 23, but ah well.

So, I left off with the previous episode right after the deeply unfortunate clusterfuck of a conversation between Jin Guangyao, Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue, and Jin Guangshan, followed by “sometimes war crimes can double as grooming your extremely emotionally vulnerable son, and that’s terrible”. Which means now, it’s time for…

Swearing an (extremely ill-advised) oath of holy fratrimony!

This is a bit of speculation, since we see almost no detail on what went into the decision to become sworn brothers, but my read is that it at least partially reflects a political motive – tying prominent members of three clans together, rebuilding the rather demolished state of firm alliances and power left in the wake of a major war – while also reflecting a personal desire I think on Lan Xichen’s part to repair the rift between his two good friends, and offer them each a promise that they won’t be left isolated in the middle of larger forces trying to break them down.

The political aspect becomes a bit more apparent when considering the wording of the oath itself, actually: “We are liable to the immortal sects. We are to bring peace and stability to the commoners… If there is a change of heart, one will be faced with a thousand accusing fingers, and the wrath of Heaven and men!” – While this reflects a shared set of values, certainly, it also strikes me as relevant that these three, two of them current sect leaders, are swearing essentially not to become like the Wen clan that they’ve just deposed: they’ll be accountable to others, they’ll work for the benefit of those living under their authority, rather than capriciously throwing their weight around for personal gain.

Oh, and also - I’ve mentioned before, the dramatic irony here in how the consequences they invoke for failing to uphold the principles of their sworn brotherhood are in fact exactly what happens to Jin Guangyao in the end – given what’s to come, the oath he’s swearing ends up being more like a curse. Don’t swear oaths, kids, it never works out well. Of course, at the time, I don’t think he has any intention at all of betraying those principles – the “bring peace and stability to the commoners” part is certainly something he makes an effort to follow up on, once he has the power to do so! Still, for something that starts out with an explicit declaration to not be the sort of evil that Nie Mingjue so straightforwardly abhors, it’s… a very sad outcome.

Moving forward, we have… the most awkward set of greetings in the entire world, I swear. Mingjue shows up to the post-victory banquet and gets offered the world’s most politically-fraught location on the seating chart; Lan Xichen then reminds Jin Guangyao in front of the assembled members of three(!) separate sects to call him da-ge instead of Chifeng-zun. Jin Guangyao redoes his greeting/offer with the most intense deer-in-headlights look (pictured above), pretty clearly aware that Mingjue is not about to be happy with him. (This little exchange, including the encouraging nod also from LXC to NMJ, is further evidence beyond simply their general personalities I think, that Xichen was the driving force behind the brotherhood oath, especially in a personal sense.) But also, it serves as another piece of foreshadowing future events: knowing Mingjue is unlikely to be happy with the offer of Wen Ruohan’s old throne, Jin Guangshan hands the actual task of offering it off to Jin Guangyao. Here at least, Mingjue doesn’t get distracted from who’s really behind the offer, and addresses Jin Guangshan in vehemently refusing the seat; but it nonetheless continues establishing the pattern where JGS uses Jin Guangyao to be the primary face of his own less-than-savory political maneuvering.

(Which in general, makes me think it’s kind of interesting that he does have Jin Guangyao there greeting guests with him in the first place, and not Jin Zixuan? It’s a bit difficult for me to read what the status of co-greeter is supposed to be – second-in-command, or glorified servant? I think there may be a little bit of both, if JGY is there on one hand because he was the one setting the banquet up, but on the other hand also, because JGS wants to parade him around as his very own hero of the Sunshot Campaign, as Sect Leader Yao is so kind to remind us.

And then there’s... the one-on-one chat with Wei Wuxian.

First off, I’d like to link people to this post by @hunxi-guilai​, which honestly just goes over… a lot of what I probably would have liked to say about the implied meanings in this conversation. Essentially: Wei Wuxian is interested in what’s going on with this other Sunshot hero who also seems to be not carrying any sword (in a scene where we even see Jiang Yanli carrying hers!), and who had previously used a somewhat unorthodox weapon for his Wen Ruohan stabbing. Jin Guangyao though, is… not really interested in drawing attention to either of those facts (and I’m sure not in a way that would see him in solidarity with WWX), considering “unorthodox and outside the standard set of accepted behaviours in cultivator society” is the opposite of what he’s trying to look like right now.

Relevant to this, honestly, is the question of “what the fuck exactly even is a soft sword,” which CQL does approximately nothing to explain on the face of it, and only very implicitly does so if you’re obsessive like me and try to take blurry screenshots to compare the sword we see stabbing WRH with the sword that Jin Guangyao uses when fighting WWX’s paperman in episode 41.

Which do appear to be the same sword, inability to get a good clear look at it in either context notwithstanding. Oh, and JGY seems to have either repainted or swapped out the hilt, at some point in the intervening years – perhaps to better match the Jin clan’s aesthetic of white & gold sword decoration that we see on Jin Zixuan’s Suihua?

Anyway, for context on the “what’s a soft sword” issue, I am going to quote a relevant portion from the (EXR translation of the) MDZS novel, even though in general I’m trying to keep the canon cross-pollination in these meta to a minimum.

Back then, when Jin GuangYao worked undercover at Wen RuoHan’s side, he had often hidden the sword at his waist, wreathed the sword around his arm to use during critical moments. Although the blade of Hensheng seemed to be soft to the extremity, attacking with lingering motions, it was in reality both sharp and haunting. Once the blade had wrapped around the opposition, Jin GuangYao would apply it with a bizarre spiritual power, and one would quickly be severed into pieces by the sword, despite its tender appearance. Quite a few famous swords had been battered into piles of scrap iron just like this. At the moment, the blade of the sword attacked as though it was a serpent with silver scales, biting at the paperman without any hesitation.

So yeah – it’s an uncommon weapon, a sword with a blade that can bend and thus works very well for things like being sneaky and unassuming, and not fighting “fairly” in a way the vast majority of other cultivators would have any experience countering.

And... oh my god. Now we’re finally onto episode 24 properly.

The first input we get from Jin Guangyao this episode is this charming smirk as Wei Wuxian walks up into the center of the hall to interrupt JGS’s unpleasant “hey let’s renew this betrothal~” play. Personal amusement about a rather dramatic individual showing up to do something undoubtedly also dramatic? Entertainment about how a person not known for his skill at subtle political maneuvering is probably about to come in and make a mess that the Jin clan will be able to spin to their own advantage? Ehhh, why not both?

Though of course, the Jiang clan members function very well as a unit here once Wei Wuxian comes in to shake things up, and it’s not nearly the uncomplicated win for the Jin clan that he was probably expecting. Meanwhile, once that’s over, he takes the next opportunity to introduce his father’s next order of business, the invitation to the Phoenix Mountain hunt - and in fact, he does so with an absolutely seamless transition from Jiang Yanli’s rejection of the proposed marriage plan renewal:

“Everyone. For the previous Clan Leader Jiang to have such a daughter is already a great comfort to his soul. And not just Jiang Clan, but after the mess with the Wen Clan, every clan has experienced losses. This is a crucial time for us to rebuild and we critically are in need of manpower. For the past days, Father has spent a lot of time pondering over this matter. Luckily, he’s found a countermeasure. I dare to represent my father in inviting everyone back to Jinlintai during the fall. Jin clan will be putting all efforts towards reorganizing the round-up and hunting event at Hundred Phoenixes Mountain.”

It’s easy to overlook, I think, but the amount of rhetorical skill to put that together on the fly? It’s really not for nothing that Meng Yao was first introduced as being impressively sharp and well-spoken. He’s taking what starts as a loss of face for the Jin clan, redirecting it to focus on the virtue of Jiang Yanli, and then tying that in to the losses and worries that every sect now has in the wake of the war ending. And having reminded them of their own interests and present worries here, he steps in to offer a solution that slots the Jin clan in back at the top, looking extremely good, due to the wealth and comparative manpower advantage they have over everyone else after entering the war relatively late.

(Also, to clarify since it’s only ever implied rather than stated outright in the show, via the dialogue here and then another piece during the hunt itself – the Hundred Phoenix Mountain hunt, from what I can tell, is a regular event held for the purpose of showing off each clan’s skills so that they can attract new prospective disciples, hence why it’s a solution to the sects’ manpower being depleted by the war. Additionally, given the use in particular of reorganizing the event, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that ordinarily, this event would be one put on by the Chief Cultivator. So with the Wen sect demolished, there was nobody readily available to step up and take over handling this event until now. Jin Guangshan may be fooling none of the viewers about his intentions in adopting a seat right next to Wen Ruohan’s old chair, but he’s certainly making good use of a-Yao’s rhetorical talent to get yet another instance of stepping into the role vacated by the Wen sect looked upon as praiseworthy benevolence.)

…And then what thanks does he get for it? Some dispassionate praise, more work, and no appreciation for the tea he’s made.

It’s a bit telling (and painful) the way he responds to being asked if he’s found the location of the Yin metal yet, also: “Not yet; I’m incompetent.” I think he’s definitely the sort to feel, even as he’s very aware of the worth of his skills and what sort of areas he’s good with in some respects, the foundation of his belief in himself is nonetheless incredibly rocky and it’s easy for a reminder of any sort of failure to loom suddenly very large over his self-assessment in the moment.

At the same time though, Jin Guangyao is very much an adaptable person, and we see that on full display with his next explanation: that the one who has the last piece of Yin metal may very likely be Wei Wuxian. It’s both an exercise in political savvy, pointing out a powerful and disruptive influence likely to cause problems for Jin Guangshan in the future if his interference in the marriage proposal is any indication, and a significant sewing together of information from several different sources: Wei Wuxian’s opportunity to be in the same place previously as Xue Yang, as he explains to JGS, but also the front-row seat for WWX interfering with the power of Wen Ruohan’s Yin metal using Chenqing and his new Yin Tiger Seal.

I don’t think he holds any particular animosity toward Wei Wuxian at this point? This reads to me like a calculation based pretty essentially on: his father is clearly invested in expanding the power of the Jin sect and diminishing the interest or ability of other sects to oppose him, and also in (instrumentally to that goal) getting his hands on the last piece of Yin metal. Jin Guangyao has been explicitly tasked with working on the latter concern, and probably implicitly at least with the former - at some point, and some point soon, he’s going to need to produce results on that front, or else be dropped from JGS’s incredibly conditional regard for not being useful enough. Given the confluence of circumstances, lining up suspicions (which for all he knows are likely even true!) against Wei Wuxian serves both goals, and gives him another safe place to rest for a day or two before having to continue worrying how to be helpful enough to keep deserving his newfound status.

And that’s it for Jin Guangyao in episode 24! Poor kiddo. Looks like you can climb another rung higher on the ladder, sure, but it doesn’t mean you’ll make it free of being used for quite a long while still.

[yinseal]

                               travelling with doctor marcoh

this  is  part  explanation  /  part  meta  on  sakura’s  work  with  doctor  marcoh,  since  i’ve  danced  around  this  subject  in  previous  headcanons,  and  consider  it  a  driving  force  in  sakura’s  fma  canon.  some  personal  interpretation  on  marcoh  towards  sakura,  but  overall  just  sakura’s  experiences  with  marcoh  /  what  happened  re:  her  ptsd.

sakura’s  relationship  with  marcoh  is  both  immensely  complicated  and  deeply  formulative.  to  begin  with,  sakura  has  no  idea  of  marcoh’s  war crimes  or  involvement  in  the  genocide  of  ishval  until  well  after  the  events  of  the  promised  day;  she  initially  seeks  marcoh  out  shortly  after  he  abandons  the  military,  around  1909.  because  sakura  does  not  know  of  marcoh’s  involvement  of  the  philosopher’s  stone,  her  searching  for  him  is  purely  on  a  medical  level         she  knows  that  marcoh  is  a  highly  respected  doctor,  and  she  trusts  him  because  he  did  leave  the  military.

in  brief,  sakura  grew  up  in  central  largely  during  the  ishvalan  genocide,  and  it  quietly  /  powerfully  built  a  strong  anti-military  sentiment  within  her.  considering  at  this  point  she  doesn’t  know  alchemy,  her  desire  to  heal  people  is  a  sincere  one,  with  no  political  or  career  ambition  behind  it.  she  would  admire  marcoh  for  his  talent,  and  she’d  secretly  approve  of  his  leaving  the  military     (  considering  the  fact  that  all  she  knows  is  that  he  is  a  state  alchemist  with  a  speciality  in  medicine.  )

once  sakura  has  tracked  marcoh  down  and  convinced  him  to  train  her,  she  puts  her  nose  to  the  grindstone         and  then  some.  already  an  accredited  doctor,  sakura  largely  learns  more  specialized  medical  treatments,  more  direct  surgical  skills,  and,  most  importantly,  alchemy.  i  think  marcoh,  who  is  suffering  deeply  from  the  trauma  of  ishval  and  his  part  in  it,  finds  some  measure  of  relief  in  having  sakura  as  his  pupil.  there’s  no  demand  for  power,  no  searching  or  cruel  questions.  sakura  wants  to  heal,  and  picks  up  alchemy  to  heal.  marcoh  finds  an  exceptionally  talented  doctor  as  his  pupil,  and  sharpens  her  skills  with  his  own  knowledge;  it’s  at  this  time  that  sakura  also  begins  teaching  herself  a  simple  form  of  alkahestry.

it’s  also  revealed  in  the  manga  that  marcoh  lost  his  own  daughter  at  some  point  prior  to  the  events  of  brotherhood,  and  i  suspect  that  a  certain  amount  of  familial  bonding  occurs  between  marcoh  and  sakura.  certainly,  sakura  comes  to  regard  marcoh  as  a  quasi-father  figure;  she  highly  values  his  input  and  lessons,  and  she  takes  to  heart  his  sincere  desire  to  help  anyone  and  everyone  who  needs  him.  although  sakura  questions  him  once  or  twice  about  his  past,  or  about  his  research,  marcoh  keeps  her  firmly  in  the  dark  on  anything  beyond  faint  framework:  he  so  furiously  deters  her  from  thinking  about  the  philosopher’s  stone,  that  she  is  one  of  the  few  alchemists  who  has  never  tried  to  pursue  the  subject,  even  after  her  travels  with  marcoh  have  ceased.

sakura  experiences  a  number  of  traumatic  incidents  on  these  journeys,  however,  which  have  a  profound  impact  on  her.  marcoh,  in  an  effort  to avoid  recapture,  takes  sakura  as  far  north  as  briggs,  and  as  far  south  as  aerugo         their  travels  frequently  take  them  deep  into  warzones,  areas  of  active  unrest,  and  villages  suffering  from  debilitating  sickness.  often,  very  little  assistance  can  be  offered,  and  more  than  once,  the  military  has  shut  down  what  small  operations  can  be  maintained.  sakura  frequently  clashes  with  the  red  tape  over  these  incidents,  but  is  usually  forced  to  leave  with  marcoh.  

sakura  is  a  forced  witness  to  a  number  of  atrocities  by  both  the  military,  and  outside  forces.  listing  them  would  be  too  great  and  gruesome,  but  about  three  months  into  her  journey  with  marcoh,  sakura  begins  to  have  trouble  sleeping.  her  work  ethic  increases  dramatically,  and  marcoh  expresses  concern  about  her  health.  

four  months  into  their  journey,  sakura  is  attacked  by  a  soldier  who  strangles  her,  near  to  death,  before  a  fair  number  of  witnesses.  marcoh  is  able  to  save  her  life,  but  the  incident  has  a  profound,  distressing  impact  on  her.  she  is  twitchy,  hypervigilant,  develops  insomnia  and  nightmares,  and  routinely  /  obsessively  smooths  her  fingers  over  her  throat,  as  if  feeling  for  bruises.  her  ptsd  blossoms  fully  towards  the  latter  weeks  of  her  travels  with  marcoh         when  marcoh  suggests  ending  their  journey,  sakura  fully  believes  it  is  because  she  is  “unnerved.”    (  in  reality,  marcoh  fears  capture  from  the  homunculi,  and  wishes  to  ensure  sakura  is  safely  removed  from  any  harm.  )

based  on  the  canon  i’ve  established  on  this  blog,  i  believe  that  sakura  loses  contact  with  marcoh  shortly  after  she  moves  to  dublith.  although  she  attempts  to  find  him,  she  is  almost  immediately  caught  up  in  her  work,  and  later,  with  the  cast  of  the  devil’s  nest.  sakura  does  not  hear  of  marcoh  until  well  after  the  promised  day.  i  suspect  that  either  greed  or  edward  would  be  the  ones  to  tell  her,  but  it.  does  not  go  over  well.

personally,  i  think  sakura  discovering  what  marcoh  has  done  /  his  involvement  in  the  philosopher’s  would  be  a  severe  emotional  devastation  for  her.  it  is  both  an  utmost  betrayal  of  what  she  believes  in,  and  a  further  act  of  treachery  from  the  military  that  sakura  has  come  to  despise.  sakura’s  rage  and  hurt  towards  marcoh  would  be  a  significantly  powerful  factor         i  headcanon  that  her  more  overt  symptoms  of  ocd  and  ptsd  would  resurface  for  several  weeks  after  her  discovery,  and  she  harbours  an  active,  almost  aggressive  grudge  against  even  the  barest  mention  of  him.

this  could  be  a  meta  on  its  own,  but  breaking  it  down  simply:  sakura  is,  at  her  core,  in  every  action,  a  woman  of  unparalleled  love  and  care.  she  cannot  turn  her  back  on  people  who  need  her.  she  cannot  give  up  on  trying  if  she  thinks  she  can  make  something  better.  she  would  view  marcoh’s  past  as  action  that  goes  against  everything  she  has  ever  believed  in,  and  more  than  what  it  does  to  her  personally:  she  would  never  be  able  to  see marcoh  as  anything  but  a  man  with  blood  on  his  hands.  he  killed  thousands  of  ishvalans  to  make  his  stones,  and  the  corpses  pile  behind  him.

sakura  does  end  up  naming  her  son,  timothy,  after  marcoh:  it’s  a  decision  she  does  not  make  lightly.  there  isn’t  any  denying  or  forgiving  what  marcoh  has  done,  but  i  suspect  that  greed’s  role  in  sakura’s  life  plays  a  big  part  in  her  moving  from  rage.  greed,  who  believes  he  was  otherwise  unforgivable  /  unredeemable,  exists  because  of  the  love  of  others;  he  would  have  likely  shared  stories  of  how  marcoh  worked  so  hard  to  fix  his  mistakes.  sakura  chooses  to  name  her  son  after  an  idea  marcoh  once  represented         a  belief  he  nurtured  in  her,  and  a  hope  that  this  tim  will  be  better  than  the  one  who  came  before  him.

while  their  relationship  never  goes  back  to  what  it  once  was,  sakura  does  write  to  marcoh  once  or  twice  a  year  after  the  birth  of  her  son,  and  likely  travels  to  visit  him  before  he  dies.  their  journey  together  helped  to  shape  sakura  into  the  doctor  and  alchemist  she  becomes,  and  helps  solidify  her  desire  to  create  a  better  world,  for  a  brighter  namesake.

[fatefulfaerie]

Coming Home

So people are starting to self-isolate for their health, and of course that means I’m going create content to make their lives just a little better! Whether you are separated from friends or family and/or sick I hope my content makes things a little brighter.

Here’s some Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood for now. Three tiny one shots. Can be taken as one or three. So...a three-shot? Post-canon but before that one picture :). Will maybe try to get some Zelda stuff out ahead of “schedule” but we’ll see. She says as if she had a schedule in the first place.

Stay safe, be kind and considerate to others, all that good human being stuff.

“Rockbell Automail, how can I help you?”

“Um…”

Ed snickered away from the phone.

“Yeah, I’d like to make an appointment,” he continued with his signature smug smirk.

“Are you a returning customer?”

“…no.”

What a lie.

“So, a consultation then?”

“A week from today,” Ed said. “Three o’clock.”

Winry was surprised at how forward he was, yet she scheduled it anyway.

“Okay, you’re in the books,” she said, closing the pen while holding the phone on her shoulder with her head.

“Oh, I almost forgot! What’s your name?”

Ed smiled and leaned back in his chair, placing his right foot on his left leg in a relaxed position. With a casual tease, he started,

“You might know me as the Fullme—”

“ED!” She exclaimed, Ed leaning away from the loud noise with a chuckle.

“You jerk!” He heard her say once he returned to the transceiver. “I wrote that in pen!”

“Wait,” she heard, just right before she was about to cross it off. 

“Keep it,” he said before hanging up abruptly and bursting out in laughter, Winry simultaneously letting out an excited inhale with wide eyes.

“Alphonse!”

——————————————————————————————————

Winry clasped her hands as the train came to a stop, puffs of steam billowing around the steel plating until they cleared.

Her long, blonde hair had been blown by the exhaust, yet now it settled, dangling upon her shoulders. 

She stood right where she last saw him, the exact spot that he disguised a proposal as a desperate exclamation of the “laws of equivalent exchange”. She wondered if all alchemists were so set in their ways and words.

Then again, Edward Elric likely didn’t know of any other way to say it.

She maintained the anticipation in her heart as people started to step off the train, greeting them with a soft smile while still leaning her head left and right to get the first glimpse of him.

And, of course, he was the last to appear, his flamboyant nature to make every entrance his and his alone not quite lost. 

Edward beamed a great big smile at the sight of Winry.

He stepped off the train and didn’t stop, his bag releasing from his fingers as he walked to Winry like only she mattered.

His bag could fall to the tracks for all he cared.

Winry giggled as he approached, Edward bringing both his hands to her cheeks.

“How’s your le—mm…”

With a downward tilt of his neck he had captured his lips with hers, Winry returning the gesture by going in her tiptoes and placing a hand on the back of his head.

She withdrew as she came back down, Winry pursing her lips with a gaze angled slightly downward. It was as if she was trying to contain a laugh.

“What?” He asked with a chuckle.

Ed looked to his right, doing a double take before he registered their audience in his mind.

“Oh,” he said, his face bluing and paling as he seemed to shrink down, hunching over with his arms hanging down.

Before the couple was Pinako Rockbell, Mei Chang, and Alphonse Elric, all with mouths popped open in shock.

“Who knew that two months in the West would make Edward Elric such a romantic?” Winry asked, running her fingers through his hair before rearranging it the smallest ways.

“Only for you, my dear,” he grumbled.

“B-brother…” Alphonse stammered.

Ed perked up immediately, scratching the back of his head.

“H-hey, Al.”

“How come we never do that!” Mei exclaimed pointedly at Alphonse with her hands on her hips.

“Whoa,” Alphonse said, holding his hands out. His face was burning red. “H-hold on.”

Pinako paid them no mind, pacing towards Edward and Winry.

“It’s about time you came home,” she said. “I don’t want to see you and your brother continue your father’s nasty habit of staying away.”

“You know I couldn’t stay away for long,” Ed replied as Winry took notice of his bag, grabbing it before returning to his side. “I guess you could say that my life is here.”

“I see,” Pinako replied before starting a walk off. “Come now, Mei, let’s finish teaching you how to make that pie.”

“Alphonse’s favorite pie!” She exclaimed as fisted hands squeezed her cheeks, the light in her eyes so big that it almost washed out her surroundings. “Are you coming, Al?”

“Yeah, I’ll catch up in a bit,” he said, prompting Mei to walk along the path with Pinako.

He looked to his brother with a warm smile, both with golden eyes that teased tears. 

All this time and Edward still knew to treasure how lucky he was to have his brother. After everything they had been through, to hold him in the flesh was something he hoped he’d never take for granted.

So, no words needed to be said as they hugged each other, the presence of the other such a familiar comfort even when they let go.

“I hope you didn’t have to much fun in the East without me,” Ed said.

Al gave a small laugh, his shoulders going up and down with a shrug.

“Nothing I can’t recall.”

“Good,” Ed said.

Winry handed the bag to Ed before they started walking along, Ed slinging it over his shoulder.

They watched Alphonse run to catch up with Pinako and Mei, Winry surprised by the sensation of Ed’s left hand entangling with hers.

She looked to him, yet his focus was on the horizon, that determined gaze he would get when he knew he would win a fight or when he was about to clap his hands together to perform alchemy.

Only now it was softer, his eyes brightened by the sunny day, those golden eyes catching light in such a mesmerizing way.

“Granny has been calling me Winry Elric ever since you left,” Winry said as they strolled along the path. “She refuses to address me by anything else.”

Ed smiled to himself.

“Why would she call you that?” He teased.

Ed’s smile released further when Winry purposely and playfully bumped into him.

“That’s all you’ve got?” he retorted.

“I didn’t bring my wrench.”

“You might need a whole stash if we’re getting married.”

“Already taken care of, pipsqueak.”

——————————————————————————————————

Winry grabbed a wrench from the tray beside her, running her thumb up and down its’ edge with a smile.

This was the wrench she had used when she first built his automail appendices, the arm and the leg that were taken because he loved his mother and brother so much.

She looked to him now, laying on his bent arms with his hands clasped behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

The strength in him was truly in his care for others, how that never faltered, never degraded due to fear. His love, all love, is what makes humans greater than their sins, their lust, their greed, their gluttony, their envy, their sloth, their wrath, their pride. Edward knew well that to forget love and compassion was the greatest sin of them all. 

So, to have his love was the greatest blessing Winry could ever hope for.

Perhaps young and naive to some, that young boy he once was knew little of the world and its’ rules, performing the taboo with only one consequence in mind. Some might warrant him a monster for attempting human transmutation, damning his brother’s body and his own limbs just to see the life in their mother’s smile.

Yet, there are far worse monsters than those who value, above all else, life.

There was, after all, no equal trade for life. Unparalleled are the bounds by which it portends, for miles and miles, infinite reaches to foreign places. The truth is, that life could only come from love, and vice versa.

Winry shook her head, pulling her out of the trance.

Using the wrench, she tightened the mechanisms, Edward repositioning his head to comfortably look at her.

“You’re beauti—AAH!”

He sat up straight at the sensation.

“WINRY, I SWEAR TO TRUTH!”

“Sorry,” Winry said. “I may have gone too far.”

Edward’s head fell back onto the pillow with a sigh.

“You were saying?” She prompted with a smirk.

“You’re a real piece of work,” Ed said, grumbling, his forearm on his forehead.

Winry’s expression grew into a smile as she adjusted his automail’s tightness.

“And,” he started, blushing. “You…y-you’re beautiful.”

Winry started to blush as well.

“As beautiful as any human can be, n-not that there are laws to dictate—”

“Do male alchemists know anything about talking to girls?” Winry interrupted, replacing the wrench in her hand with a screwdriver

“Probably not,” Ed replied, relieved that he was stopped from blabbering on.

“If our Flame Alchemist is any indication,” she said. “I’d have to agree.”

Winry sat back in her chair.

“How does that feel?”

“Better,” Ed said, sitting up completely and testing slight movements of his leg.

Winry stood up, collecting her things.

“If I don’t get to my room soon, Granny will tease me for the rest of my life.”

“You mean the rest of her life.”

Winry chuckled.

“Sometimes I feel like she’s going to outlive us a—EEK!”

Edward had suddenly grabbed her by the waist, giving her no choice but for her to surrender to his hold, them both falling to the bed.

“Ed!” She yelled, laughing as he tickled her with a mischievous grin. “Ed, stop!”

He stopped immediately, her back now flush against his chest, his hands hugging her waist.

“I love you, you know that, right?” He asked near her ear.

She turned herself to face him, cupping her hand at his cheek.

Winry kissed him deeply and passionately, Ed matching if not surpassing the desperation.

“Does that answer your question, pipsqueak?”

“Will I ever live that down?”

“Not until you drink milk.”

Edward grumbled indistinguishably as Winry stood up to leave.

He sat up with a thankful smile as she neared the door, his eyes full of love. He couldn’t stay mad at her long.

Winry opened the door only to see Alphonse about to knock at it, Winry raising her eyebrows in surprise.

“Hi, umm,” Alphonse said, lowering his arm. “Could you keep the noise down? Some of us still have sleep to catch up on. You know, being a suit of armor and all.”

“It’s been two years, Al,” Ed said dryly, unamused.

“Still…”

“I was just about to leave anyway,” Winry said, assuring him.

“Yippee,” Alphonse said unenthusiastically as he walked off. He did sound tired.

Winry gave Edward a peck on the lips where he sat on the foot of his bed.

“Goodnight,” he said out of the kiss.

“Goodnight, Fullmetal Alchemist,” Winry said, closing the door behind her and departing.

[danwhobrowses]

Valentines 2020: A Celebration of My Ships

So it’s valentine’s day again, and...yeah it’s not too great when you’re single is it? Considering that I’ve already gone through a tub of ice cream...

But, it doesn’t mean I’m a cynic, quite the opposite. Most of my fandoms involves a ship in some shape or form, hell I shipped before I even knew what shipping was, so I’m gonna talk about some of them...the ones that still make me happy and didn’t crash and burn in heartbreaking and frankly insulting fashion (looking at you Homestuck ¬_¬), gotta mention that these are not all the ships I ship, they’re just some of the ones I’m quite consistently high on

New Entries So with new fandoms come new ships...as is the usual formula anyway, though my pattern of watching things is usually with some delay, I only watched Rurouni Kenshin and started My Hero Academia in 2019, I still hold off on Attack on Titan and My Hero Season 4 because if I get in, I get IN. So these fandoms may not be new, but they are new to me Steven Universe is very new to me, I’ve been aware of how good it is and their concepts like Fusion. I like it, particularly Lapis Lazuli I really relate to her, but ship wise the two I really like are the obvious ones; Steven x Connie and Ruby x Sapphire (Garnet)

Garnet is badass and chill at the same time, but when she unfuses we see the stuff that makes me smile, the pda between Ruby and Sapphire is adorable, the little pecks and whatnot softens me up like no man’s business. Steven and Connie also have the mushy dynamic with both of them deeply into each other but still being strong individuals. The love for each other is equally platonic as it is romantic as they gel together, both being strong willed in different ways. The laughter probably gets me the most with both of them, the genuine laughter is so sweet and so realistic it’s hard not to love. My Hero Academia seems to be our next wave of shonen anime and for good reason, it does high notes so well and the cast of characters are vibrant and exciting. I haven’t hit Season 4 yet since I’m waiting till it’s all done to binge so I may be a little behind on some stuff (sadly it’s hard to avoid spoilers, I know about Infinity and Unbreakable). While I do like Deku x Uraraka, Tetsutetsu x Kendo and Eraserjoke but the two that I find most enjoyable are Todomomo and Kamijirou

(artist nonoko135 btw, bit tough to find a single image with both ships) Fairly popular ships in their own right, Todomomo doesn’t get many hints but they are sweet, naive rich kids with their own confidence issues, it also feels like they look out for each other especially after the final exam they did together. With Kamijirou though it’s probably one I favour if I had to choose between the two, simply because it’s a dynamic I really like; she busts on him so hard to mask her enjoyment of his company and he takes it because he feels at ease around her, the best part is when Kaminari goes 0 volts, he makes her laugh and that’s kinda big for Jirou given how self-conscious and stoic she can be. Rurouni Kenshin was always on my list, I have often heard about the Swordsman with a blade that cuts no-one. The anime is a bit up and down, after Shishio it’s just filler, but as documented in my Redemption Arc post it is at its core a great story of redemption for the main character, and the driving force for Kenshin’s redemption is his love for Kaoru

While Sano and Megumi have a unique dynamic hinted to be romantic at times, nothing can really beat Kenshin and Kaoru, she literally became Kenshin’s conscience, a representation of his hope to be a good man away from the shadow of Battousai the Manslayer. It may be your traditional romance of the two wanting to be by each other’s side in danger but it works so well given the kind of danger Kenshin is often in. Kaoru still strives to protect herself and aid Kenshin in a way that doesn’t make her continuously wonder about being a burden and Kenshin does everything in his power to keep Kaoru from pain, physical and emotional, even if it meant leaving to keep her safe. The main part of what makes this lovely is the fact that not only did Kaoru’s influence make Kenshin value his own life once more but after continual torment in his past she still saw him as the person he wanted to be, and welcomed in a new home, a new family he was able to live a life he never imagined he could deserve. The Regulars Our Regulars are the ships I still consistently ship, they’re not very old but they’re still pretty great and they still stand the test of time. Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has quite a few ships over its 6 (coming up 7) season lifespan, being the longest surviving MCU tv series and one of the most consistently great shows MCU offered - especially Season 4, some of the best TV was on Season 4. But while Philinda is close, Mack and Yoyo or even Piper and Davis (don’t, I don’t care if you believe she’s a lesbian with the hots for May these are my ships) there is one one ship in Shield you can all rally behind, Fitzsimmons

Even when canon it is a consistent emotional rollercoaster. One of those ships where the writers know you love it and decide to put you through as much pain and emotional torment as humanely possible. But you endure it, because these two smart kids are worth it. They have sweet moments, badass moments, emotional moments and even though they get brought apart time and time again, they still find each other, the universe cannot stop them - and it better end happily for them come next season. Overwatch was a phenomenon when it came out a few years ago, Blizzard may have caused it to have some heavily bad rep but I still look forward to its sequel coming out. Given its large roster and most of the characters’ sexuality and relationship status up in the air, it leaves a lot of room for shipping. I do still love Anahardt, Mercy76 kinda falling due to 76 being gay but I like Gency too, my rarepairs include McPharah and Symmzo but my favourite is actually Meihem.

Now I know, Mei’s only voice lines towards Junkrat are cold, they have differing views in terms of omnics and...due process of the law. But there’s a lot they do have in common; both are quite intelligent engineers having made their weapons by hand, both endured trauma and both love their puns. But even the stuff that make them different can compliment one another. You don’t have to like it, but I do, I enjoy the dynamic of Jamison being so head over heels that he embarrasses himself to try and get Mei’s attention, while Mei softens to the fact that his very nature is warped by his lawless upbringing and that deep down he is an exciting and in his own way sweet guy.  Back to anime, because what else do I do with my day, getting into One Piece was always going to be a long effort, keeping tabs on the Manga does make it easier and I’ve been able to catch up quickly. Ships are shaky territory with One Piece because Oda does make a point of not having romance happen a lot, not to existing living characters at least. But I still have the ones I like; Shanks x Makino, Sabo x Koala, Franky x Robin, Sanji x Pudding, Rebecca x Koby, the list goes on, but my favourite has to be Zoro x Tashigi

May not be up there with the ‘big ships’ of One Piece but I do enjoy them the most. Individually the two are characters I have deep interest in; Zoro is well Roronoa Fucking Zoro, santoryu swordsman extraordinaire, master of nothing happening and will cut you 8 ways to Sunday, but Tashigi is a character I like because she also tries, unlike Zoro she isn’t blessed with 2 years training with Mihawk and she’s at constant arms with this self doubt that as a Woman she won’t be as strong (and probably whoever of influence to her made her believe such a thing), people may get on her back for never winning a fight but she fights strong people without a second thought. But back to the pairing, they have an interesting dynamic; two very similar people on different sides of the law, I don’t think Tashigi continues to chase him simply because he refused to cut her in their fight and I don’t think it’s just her former resemblance to Kuina that gets Zoro so riled up about her, I mean Zoro is usually so chill to side characters to the point where he’s ready to throw down but with Tashigi, it’s different, they bicker but he also came to her aid. I still continue to hope that Tashigi shows in Wano for more Zoro interaction, and to prove herself to fans and to Zoro that she is strong and capable. One of my favourite anime of all time is Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, a combination of laughter, tears and deep philosophical character journeys in a 20th century world with the alchemy fantasy element drawn from actual legit alchemical sources. It just hits all the right notes for me, and ships hit right too; I love most of the ships from EdWin, AlMay and LingFan, but like Fitzsimmons there is one ship that stands above even the main characters, Royai.

Mustang and Hawkeye right from the bat have that connection that needs no dancing around, they care for each other but they work together. Like the rest of the ships they banter, argue but always have each other’s backs, to the point that they go into an insane rage at even the threat of the other being hurt. I don’t think anyone can not ship these two, that’s how strong their chemistry is, even if they can’t officially label it as a relationship because of their jobs it’s that line in the sand that everyone knows it, because it’s impossible to ignore. The Old Guard So we get to the oldest ships in my catalogue, the fact that they could stand the test of time is for a long time what shaped me as a shipper. I still ship these to this day so I ship them pretty hardcore Comics is probably the hardest place to ship something, because different writers will try different pairings at the drop of a hat. Even consistent pairings like Spiderman and Mary Jane, Batman and Catwoman, Beat Boy and Raven, Superman and Lois and more can end up being split in favour of Cindy Moon (I do love Silk), Wonder Woman and others. But I can’t ignore the fact that I’ve always loved Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon

I may’ve liked Teen Titans, but I was never on Team Starfire, it’s fine if you are but to me I have always been in with Dick and Babs. Not only do they have excellent banter but they gel well on and off of crime fighting, no matter how many times DC break them apart (like seriously, how many times do you have to try Bruce and Barbara until you realise that it creeps people out?) they always find each other again someway down the line, they are one of DC’s best couples and while they may never get a definitive ending because of the nature of comics, I still love that there’s a relationship of two strong individuals who can stand as equals and continue to keep their charm and wit after years of being together. When I was young, decades ago as it pains me to type, Digimon was the prime competitor against Pokémon’s tidal wave. Its anime had an awesome opening, more characters with some deeper themes and a quicker pacing. While many could quickly connect to Tai or Matt for their leaderlike attitude or Joe and Izzy for their intelligence or Mimi and Sora for their determination, I gravitated towards TK, a child who had room to grow and the greatest of potential, so when the Dark Masters came in we saw one of my oldest ships take form, Takari

TK and Kari’s pairing was popular that it managed to carry on into Adventure 02 and we got plenty of lovely moments in TRI (though they shorthanded both by having Ophanimon quickly fused and Seraphimon - one of the strongest Digimon - digivolve as backup in a Sora episode). 02′s epilogue is of course a sore spot we can hope Kizuna retcons because these two have been through thick and thin and their bond is clear. Even as they reach their late teens and TK has become master of hats and joined Matt’s band, they still hang out, banter and tease but they still are comfortable to hold each other’s hand and be vulnerable with one another too. Digimon may’ve been a contender, but Pokémon was still the clear winner, even to this day it is one of the most popular franchises in the world. The anime may be an up and down slope (current series seems a tad boring, 10 episodes before Ash caught a Pokémon, plus I don’t like that Ash won in Alola and now thinks he doesn’t have to try) but you can never take away the nostalgia, or the ships. I’ve shipped many in Pokémon in various media; Mallow x Lillie and Jessie x James in the anime, Ruby x Sapphire in the Manga, Looker x Anabel in the games (with Emma being their adoptive daughter dammit Looker you could’ve taken her with) among others and from Pokémon comes the oldest ship I’ve ever shipped, Pokéshipping

Before I even knew what Shipping was I shipped this, Misty may also be mostly the reason for my attraction to redheads but that’s neither here nor there. People may not like it, may prefer some of the softer spoken female (or male) companions Ash has had or feel they’ve grown out of it, but not me. I loved Misty’s feistiness and determination but also the fact that she could reign Ash in (sometimes) to make him think things through, as much as Misty was a companion to Ash she was a rival, a teacher and a supporter of his goal, but she also had her own goals which she fought for as well. They may bicker but they have also had tender moments as well and even with Misty’s return in the excellent Sun and Moon episodes they had their chemistry is palpable. To me, Ash and Misty were kindred spirits and the feeling has never changed since. So with another year of Valentine’s Day going the way it usually does, I’d like a moment to thank these ships, and all my other ships I didn’t have the space to mention, for being something that brings out happiness and a soft joy deep within my being, and for all the fanartists and fanfic writers that bring that love to life Happy Valentine’s Day

[thebluelemontree]

Watching JustWrite's videos on 'What Kind of Hero is Batman' on Youtube got me questioning what kind of Hero is Sandor. He feels Romantic, maybe leaning Byronic in some sense but not un-idealistic. What do you think? How about predictions on his arc based on these terms?

I’m a subscriber to JustWrite.  If you haven’t discovered it already, I would also recommend Lessons from the Screenplay for quality content along those same lines.  Great question by the way.  For everyone else, here is part 1 and part 2 of JustWrite’s Batman videos.

Sandor is definitely Romantic with strong Byronic leanings.  Moody, introspective, impassioned, psychologically tormented, self-destructive, cynical, an outsider who is at war with society’s hypocrisy, etc.  “Mad, bad, and dangerous to know,” was said of Lord Byron.  Sandor was written to give a similar impression: deeply troubled and abrasive, yet also sympathetic and philosophically challenging for Sansa.  Not to mention, GRRM also understands the cool factor and sometimes sex appeal of that type of character in the literary tradition.  Knighthood is Sansa’s gold standard for goodness and excellence, but Sandor hates and rebels against that institution for reasons Sansa can understand and sympathize with.  Despite his worst traits, she also comes to view him as a protector, ally, and someone trustworthy to unload on.  By understanding the inner workings of his complicated nature, she feels connected to him.  The songs never made room for someone like him to exist, but the novelty of the unconventional non-Ser that frustrates and confounds her is, shall we say, highly interesting.  He’s definitely kept her up at night thinking.  The Byronic type just works well in a young girl’s coming-of-age story for her to meet and conquer a daunting and unpredictable masculine force of nature.

At his core, Sandor is a jaded idealist.  This is the point where he and Sansa are in full agreement:  that the ideals of knighthood, the vows, the powers granted to the title, the honor of service, should be taken seriously and should mean something in truth.  Only one who was once a wholehearted believer in knighthood could have been so deeply wounded by it failing him. He carries that same unflagging contempt for it well into his adulthood.  Where Sansa and Sandor differ is how one should live their life in response to a flawed, uncaring, and unjust world.  Sandor sees violence and becoming hard-hearted as the only way to protect oneself and survive.  While I think GRRM does enjoy employing the Byronic hero in some ways, he’s also showing us it’s kind of wretched and immature way to be.  For all his blustering as if he possessed some great philosophical insight, what Sandor does most of the time is stand on the sidelines and deride everything he thinks is lame like an insufferably pessimistic, teenage know-it-all.  Sandor characterization abounds in empty threats and macho posturing.  I mean, his espoused irrefutable “truth” is capably dismantled by a twelve-year-old demonstrating that the ideals of knighthood still matter when one chooses to live by them.  GRRM is not cynical.                

As for predictions for Sandor’s arc based on these terms, the Romantic/Byronic hero theme is a major underpinning of my Winds prediction essay on Shadrich, Morgarth, and Byron.  Part V gets into the specifics of Sandor’s connection to Lord Byron and his Byronic traits.    

I also present the case that his story also contains elements of the folk hero as also mentioned in part II of the video essay.  In ASOIAF, GRRM has created in-universe folk hero figures (both real and fictional) like Pate the Pig Boy, Wenda the White Fawn, and the Kingswood Brotherhood.  These are heroes that appeal to the smallfolk and merchant classes, unlike the chivalric heroes for the nobility.  They either lampoon the powerful and privileged classes or tear them down from their ivory towers.  It’s the satisfaction of schadenfreude, and we readers have been waiting for Littlefinger to get his comeuppance, right?  IMO, another (better) trickster character is the most well-matched adversary for Littlefinger, there to steal his prized possession from under his nose -- as an unconventional ally to Sansa, not an enemy.  I’m pretty much 100% certain that “fox-faced” Ser Shadrich is based on the real-world medieval trickster character, Reynard the Fox, which I explain in the essay.  GRRM has sprinkled in enough references to Reynard and other characters/elements from his beast epics for it to be mere coincidence.  There’s a purpose to it.  The gravedigger persona seems to bear a little resemblance to the character Isengrim, who is a wolf in monk’s robes that isn’t really pious at all.  Not that any reference should be taken as an exact one-to-one equivalency, but GRRM does cherry-pick things from other sources that he likes and reworks them for his own story.  It’s familiar enough that we should get the basic idea behind it, but we should always be keeping our eye on the story he’s telling first and foremost. 

 If I can just get around to actually writing it, I have a good deal of notes already made for a companion essay on Sandor’s other in-universe folk hero comparisons.  Without going too far down a rabbit hole, let me just highlight one of my main points.  Sandor becomes Spotted Pate the Pig Boy when he impersonates an ignorant “poxy peasant” hauling a cart of salt pork to fool a knight that actually knew him so he can smuggle Arya into the Twins.  Pate the Pig Boy stories always end well for the hero:

Spotted Pate the pig boy was the hero of a thousand ribald stories: a good-hearted, empty-headed lout who always managed to best the fat lordlings, haughty knights, and pompous septons who beset him. Somehow his stupidity would turn out to have been a sort of uncouth cunning; the tales always ended with Spotted Pate sitting on a lord's high seat or bedding some knight's daughter. -- Prologue, AFFC.   

Pate’s adversaries are exactly the kind of people a Byronic Sandor rails against:  “the High lords with old names, fat rich men dressed in velvet, knights puffed up like bladders with their honors.”  What makes Pate’s victories so sweet and satisfying is that he achieved them without the benefit of lofty education, wealth, social status, beauty, or martial skill.  He is simply so underestimated that -- plot twist -- his “stupidity” is actually a cover for his cunning.  No matter if tricksters aren’t exactly above-board in their methods, Pate’s a good guy, and he’s upending a system that would keep people like him down.  The outbreak of fighting at the RW prevented Sandor from successfully delivering Arya, but then again, his motives at the time weren’t exactly unselfish or “good-hearted.”  This is where his redemption arc comes in and how I think all these themes weave together for his re-entry into the story.                    

What I think GRRM is trying to do is shift Sandor away from the darker aspects of the Byronic/Romantic hero and his adolescent coping mechanisms through his redemption arc.  It stands to reason after his humbling and therapeutic stint on the Quiet Isle, he will be reborn as more of a traditional hero, finding value in those knightly ideals again and aspiring to live by them.  It’s a choice, one that he need not be anointed to make.  Brienne exemplifies that.  Nor does he have to adopt a completely different personality.  He can still be intense, brooding, and highly critical of an unjust system.  It’s just a matter of abandoning the cynicism and replacing it with empathy.  He can turn his bite on those who truly deserve it and protect the weak.  

There is a lot of other evidence (just look through my Sandor Clegane meta tag) of where his trajectory is most likely headed that meshes well with the hero types and tropes.  It’s important to me not just to speculate from a single point, but how everything fits into the big picture, how it serves his character and the POV’s.  That’s one of my major pet peeves with a lot of predictions and theories.  Even if they aren’t factually off the rails, they tend to have a total disregard for established themes and plot.  I know some folks think I’m kinda out there, but I do try to make sure everything I say is in agreement with what we already know, citing textual evidence on all my points.  I hope my answer satisfied.                                        

[tamayokny]

Name ten favourite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.) then tag ten people

This was extremely difficult to do. The first two were easy, since they are my ride or die, but choosing 10 different characters? From ten different things? I don’t know if I even like 10 different things, but I found some loopholes, lol.

tagged by @bpdanakins <3

1. Lara Croft - Tomb Raider

Lara Croft has been one of my idols since I was a small child. My mom had bought Tomb Raider: Starring Lara Croft and Tomb Raider: Adventures of Lara Croft for my sister on the PlayStation. I remember watching my sister play it, and then sometimes I was allowed to play it. I continued the Tomb Raider legacy throughout the years.

Lara Croft is just. Amazing. I love every version of her. Classic Lara deflected the life her parents had wanted her to have, and paid the price for it. Did that stop her? No, it did not! She was able to make her own mark in the world. LAU!Lara wanted to find out what happened to her mother, and honestly I love Keeley Hawes as Lara. She was witty and funny, and Legend is one of my favorite TR games. And Reboot!Lara? I love her. I honestly don’t care what people say, Reboot!Lara is great! Her first game is also fun to play. Each version of Lara Croft offers something different, and I love it. While many of Lara’s core values are in each incarnation (adventurous, ambitious, brave, etc.), each brings a new perspective which I enjoy!

Fun fact: my irl best friend and Lara share the same zodiac sign!

2. Wanda Maximoff (Scarlet Witch) - Marvel

I LOVE WANDA MAXIMOFF WITH ALL MY HEART!!! She’s a huge comfort character for me. She’s one of the most powerful mutants (yes, I am ignoring the retcon), and she’s complex. Wanda first appeared in X-Men #4 alongside her brother, Pietro, as members of Magneto’s Brotherhood. Eventually, the twins become heroes and join the Avengers.

Wanda’s mutation is magic; probability, to put it at best. She can warp reality. While she is strong, she is also human. Many remember her best as having a mental breakdown and creates House of M (influenced by her beloved brother). After this, she goes off the radar for a few years before her reincarnated sons find her.

I love Wanda because she has heart, courage, and cares for others. She’s intuitive and sensitive and, in many ways, reminds me of myself. I genuinely love Wanda with all my heart. She remains to be my number one favorite superhero. I wish more people knew her--the real her. The MCU does not do her (or her brother) justice. At all. (At least AOU kind of got their “reluctant villains to heroes” origin story well enough?)

Also: fuck you Marvel for retconning Magneto as the Maximoffs’ father. It’s been 5 years but I still elect to ignore that.

3. Phoebe Halliwell - Charmed

Growing up, Charmed was one of my favorite TV shows. To sum it up, it’s about a group of sisters who discover that they’re witches. Specifically, they’re the Charmed Ones and they protect the innocent. For awhile, I’ve said that Piper is my favorite sister but after my last rewatch, I say that Phoebe is my favorite.

At the beginning of the series, Phoebe was the youngest and the rebel of the family. Before the pilot, Phoebe was living in New York but we see her move back in. We also see that she has a strained relationship with her eldest sister, Prue, due to her scummy fiancé. Phoebe is also the reason why their magic was unlocked. (As children, their powers were bounded in order to keep them safe.)

Over time, we see Phoebe mature more. However, there are a few things that never changes with Phoebe. She’s kind and caring for others, always wanting to help them no matter what. (She shares this trait with the youngest sister, Paige.) She is deeply connected with her emotions (which causes her to gain the power of empathy in season 6). Phoebe has also had rough luck with love (see: Cole the demon, etc.) but no matter how much she gets hurt, Phoebe still has hope. She still has love in her heart. No matter how much she gets knocked down, she finds a way of getting back up, and I admire her a lot for it.

4. Catelyn Stark - A Song of Ice and Fire

Family. Duty. Honor. This is House Tully’s family motto, which is deeply embedded into Catelyn. Catelyn was married to Ned Stark during Robert’s Rebellion, after her former betrothed was murdered in King’s Landing (who, ironically, was Ned’s older brother). Their wedding night resulted in the birth of their firstborn: Robb Stark, heir to Winterfell and King in the North.

Catelyn Stark is the mother of the wolves, and her love for her family is no doubt a core of her character. However, Catelyn is clever and if you mess with her, you will certainly gain her wrath. Her eldest values her for her wisdom, and will turn to her for help. She will do anything for her family, such as freeing Jaime Lannister to get her girls back, or offering herself to save her eldest during the horrific events of the Red Wedding.

Catelyn is murdered, along with majority of the Stark party, at the Red Wedding. However, she is resurrected and becomes Lady Stoneheart. Stoneheart is out for vengeance, because she believes all of her children are gone; taken by the enemy. Stoneheart murders Frey or Lannister alike--whoever is associated with them. She holds no mercy.

There is so much more to Catelyn that I could go on, but I will stop here. (Besides, I need to reread the books again!) I will say this: fuck you, D&D.

5. Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto) - Marvel

MAGNETO TIME? MAGNETO TIME.

Erik Lehnsherr was a young boy when World War II happened and because he was Jewish, he was sent to Auschwitz. His family did not survive, but Erik did. Depending on what you follow on, Erik either A) escaped with Magda (who is the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver’s mother) and started a life with her or B) he hunted down the men who worked for Sebastian Shaw (movie universe).

Anyway, Erik had been a mutant since around the time he was sent to the camps and after the horror and trauma he’s faced, Erik decided that mutants would never be accepted by “their less evolved kin”. So, he became Magneto, a protector for mutants and enemy for humans.

Magneto is only one side of the coin, however. Charles Xavier is a longtime frenemy of sorts, both having different perspectives in life. Xavier believes in coexistence, but Magneto believes otherwise. He had seen what humanity is capable of, and he never wants that to happen again. If he must be a villain, than so be it.

Magneto is beautifully complex. He has done some questionable things (I’m thinking of the comics for this one), but he has also done great things for his people. “Never again,” he says. He fights to keep it that way. Magneto is sympathetic at best, and I certainly understand where he comes from. Tell me this: if you were Magneto, what would you have done?

Also: while Michael Fassbender is not Jewish in any way, he did one hell of a job portraying this amazing character.

6. Kira Yukimura - Teen Wolf

I wasn’t planning on adding Teen Wolf to the list, but here I am.

Kira was introduced to us in season 3b, written as a “new love interest” for Scott McCall. I remember a lot of fans of a certain ship were pissed, but whatever. I’m not here to talk about romance.

So, in 3b Kira was a new student, with her dad as the new history teacher at Beacon Hills High School. She’s of both Korean and Japanese descent, and she ends up playing an important role in the story arc. We find out that she’s a Kitsune, thanks to her mother who explains how a Kitsune and a werewolf must come together to defeat the Nogitsune, who happens to be possessing the loveable Stiles Stilinski.

After this, Kira becomes a part of the McCall Pack and Scott’s girlfriend. In my opinion, they’re cute together but many people hate them together. Oh well. Kira also becomes a badass in her own right, as her abilities evolve. However, in season 5, the creators put her on the shelf, as she trains with Skinwalkers and is never seen again. I am so fucking MAD about that.

Like many characters on this list, Kira has heart and courage. She’s a bit of an introvert but she is loyal, and cares for her pack. She’s cute and a bit goofy. She is skilled and deadly. Kira is one of the coolest characters Teen Wolf had, and the way they treated her was disappointed. (Even though after her death, Allison was always mentioned/connected in some way. I like Allison, don’t get me wrong but all I can say is: interesting...)

Fun fact: Arden Cho, the actress, is the VA for Sam Nishimura in Tomb Raider (2013)!

7. Lois Wilkerson - Malcolm in the Middle

The mother of four boys, the matriarch of the Wilkerson household is not one to push around.

Lois has had a rather rough life. Her parents were not the best, and everyone tries to push her down. However, Lois fights back and is not afraid to stand up for what is right. Francis, her oldest, describes her as an absolute menace and while her sons and husband fear her, they also admire her for her strength and courage. Lois is tough as nails, but she can also break, too. However, her family--the family she and Hal created, no one else--is there for her. Lois is incredibly strong willed no matter what, and I love her so much.

8. Theon Greyjoy - A Song of Ice and Fire

No words can describe on how much I love this fashionable war criminal.

Before the start of the series, Theon is a hostage/ward of Lord Stark, as a result of his father’s failed rebellion. Theon was a reminder that if Balon Greyjoy pulled something again, his last (male) heir would get the chopping block. Pretty brutal for a young child, right?

Now, at the start of the series, Theon is nineteen and is seemingly best friends with Robb Stark, the heir to Winterfell and the North. He shows loyalty to Robb and the Starks, claiming that Lord Stark was like a father to him. He’s also skilled with archery and, like I mentioned earlier, fashion.

Then A Clash of Kings occur, and we began to see how Theon Greyjoy is.

Robb Stark has been proclaimed as King of the North, and sends Theon to the Iron Islands in hopes to gain allies with Balon Greyjoy. However, this does not occur. Old Greyjoy says “fuck that and if you’re [Theon] aren’t with us, then you‘re against us.” We see Theon conflicted, but we also see how strained his relationship with his father is. In the end, Theon joins the Greyjoys, and promptly sacks Winterfell. However, that is not the end. Theon is tricked by Ramsay Bolton and this vile man takes Winterfell. I believe while he took the women and children captive, the men were killed...save for Theon, of course.

Theon is held captive by Ramsay Bolton, and is tortured quite brutally. Theon goes through a lot in this time. His appearance had changed drastically: black hair turned white and brittle, he becomes skin and bones, and loses a few fingers and toes. Theon is no longer Theon. He became Reek. The new Reek.

Then, Jeyne Poole (or Sansa; I hate you D&D) arrives, under the guise that she is Arya Stark and she is to wed Ramsay Bolton. Jeyne begged Theon to help her, but he is in no position of power. He is a completely broken man. Time flies by. Jeyne is in absolute misery but with the help of Mance and some spearwives, Theon is able to escape Winterfell with Jeyne during a winter storm. Currently, in the books, Theon is set to be executed by Stannis Baratheon, who is currently holding him captive.

Theon Greyjoy may be a fuckup, but to me he is such an amazing character. He holds much conflict, from being a hostage/ward to Prince to prisoner. Theon Greyjoy may have done a lot of shit, but he is also a survivor. Everything he has been put through, he somehow lives to see another day. Despite holding negative feelings to Lord Stark and everyone around, claiming he owed no one anything (fair enough), he loved Robb. When Theon had found out he was murdered at the Red Wedding, you know what he thought?

I should have been with him. Where was I? I should have died with him.

Theon is far from perfect, but that is what makes him great. He has come so far, and I hope his journey does not end any time soon.

9. Suki - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Zuko may have the best redemption arc (or does he? See above.), but Suki holds a special place in my heart.

We first meet Suki season one, on Kyoshi Island. She is the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, and effectively puts Sokka in his place. However, when Sokka requests a few lessons, Suki is happy to help...as long as he followed the guidelines.

Suki is a certified badass. Although a non-bender, Suki has incredible skill and event went against Azula. However, Suki and the others surrendered (so that Appa would not be captured), leading to her imprisonment at Boiling Rock. Eventually, Sokka and Zuko free her (with the help of Mai). After this, Suki joined the Gaang in ceasing the 100 Year War.

Suki is strong but like many other characters in this list, she has heart. She is an effective leader and fighter, offering her help whenever she can. Too bad she was never mentioned in The Legend of Korra. Suki is underrated and she deserves more love and respect.

10. Max Mayfield - Stranger Things

We first meet Max in season 2 as the new girl in Hawkins. She seems like your average girl but she quickly gets tied into the party after Lucas begs her to show her what has happened with him and the rest of the party. However, there’s a lot more to Max.

Max moved to Hawkins with her mother, stepfather, and stepbrother. It’s easy to see that Max and Billy, her stepbrother, do not get along. Billy is outright mean to her, lashing out at practically every chance he gets. Max fights back, however...especially when he threatens her friends.

In season 3, we finally get to see Max and El bond. (Thank God we didn’t have to put up with the “jealousy” tidbit. I would have--) El believes that Mike is lying and Max is like, “Well yeah. Come on let’s go to the mall!” and the girls have a blast together. I was so happy to see the two bond and have fun. I was so happy that El was spending time with someone other than Mike. I was so happy the girls were having fun by themselves. Honestly, the best part of season 3 was them becoming friends.

I love Max because she is confident and is not afraid to speak her mind. She’s funny and in many ways, we are alike. (Especially with our attitudes on boys and relationships.) However, Max is also vulnerable. We see this with her stepbrother, especially in season 3 I think. Their relationship was drastically different in season 3 and while many didn’t like it (myself included)...I also thought about Max. She’s a young girl and no matter how much bad blood was in between them, it will be traumatizing to see a transformation like this to someone you know quite well. It would be scary.

Anyway, I love Max.

Honorable mentions: Kitty Pryde (Shadowcat), Ororo Munroe (Storm), Jean Grey (Phoenix), Anna Marie (Rogue), Sam Nishimura, Malia Tate, all of House Martell, Dustin Henderson...

Thanks for reading! I hope you all enjoyed reading this. Tell me, do I have a certain type of character that I’m attracted to? Also, I’m not sure who has all done this, so if you haven’t it: who are your top 10 favorite characters? Let me know!

[tserofweald]

My Dalish Warden headcanons

I journal my headcanons about my Dalish Warden Atheline Mahariel, but my hand is seriously giving out on the heavy writing. I have two other characters in development, Lethel Lavellan (she’s the first one I worked on).

This is for the sake of documenting my current development of Mahariel, and I apologize if I get any of the DA lore wrong :) They’re not really headcanons but more so going over my characterization of Mahariel.

Atheline Mahariel, Athy for short to her friends. She was 20 years old at the beginning of the Fifth Blight. She’s a warrior specializing in two-handed weapons. 

She’s stupid strong despite her short stature even for an elf. She’s very careless in battle and is the one to set off all the traps during combat. Zevran literally trains his ass off to up his lockpicking skills to disengage all traps beforehand. 

She and Zevran eventually get into a friends with benefit relationship. She had never experienced sex, and was never really interested in it until getting to know Zevran. She was pretty eager to give it a go, and really enjoyed it with him. 

Though Zevran was really on the idea of them just being friends with intimacy involved, Atheline had developed special feelings for him, though she didn’t really understand that she had those feelings at the time. She was satisfied with keeping things between them as just “friends.” 

Atheline wanted to explore her sexual experience more through sleeping with other people. Though she was definitely satisfied at the Pearl, she ended up reserving this space solely for Zevran. She didn’t understand why, but she felt some sort of a spark with Zevran but none with her other encounters (later on, she realizes it’s because she loved him). 

Though she reserves herself to engage sexually only with Zevran, she didn’t mind Zevran engaging with others than herself.

Atheline is proud of her Dalish heritage, but not in the sense Lavellan is. My Lavellan is interested in uncovering the truth of elven lore/history, whereas Atheline focuses more on her people standing up against slavery enforced by Tevinter. She takes the most pride in her people’s bravery and fortitude, fighting against forced human religion and exploit, knowing the consequences. 

Atheline was initially not a religious person. She didn’t really care to pray to the Creators, for she knew they wouldn’t be able to hear her prayers. But when Tamlen went missing and she had to enter the shem world as a Grey Warden, she prayed relentlessly to Mythal and Andruil for guidance. 

She got the same Vallaslin as Tamlen and didn’t put much thought into actually picking a god to draw strength from. No matter what god it represents, a Vallaslin is a Vallaslin, right?

The biggest value she learns from her culture is creating a close, familial connection with everyone in the clan. This is why Mahariel is so well accustomed to welcoming anyone who wanted to join her in her journey. She was able to create deep, personal bonds very quickly and easily with those around her.

Keeper Marethari also taught her clan that yes, learning more about their elven past is important, and they should continue to find supporting artifacts that’d expand their knowledge, but no knowledge is at the cost of a clansman. Safety and well being of individuals came first. Atheline really took that to heart, though she’d often forget this lesson in place for dangerous adventures.

Despite her deep love for her clan, she also craved adventures beyond the forest. She wanted to know what the world was like beyond the Dalish, beyond the elves. She’d sometimes sneak out of camp with Tamlen and Merrill to visit a nearby village. There’d be a summer festival, with food, music and dancing. She was so intrigued to see human traditions. Tamlen would tease she’s gonna become one of the “flat-ears.” They’d regularly sneak out to nearby villages every time the camp relocated, though Ashalle had caught them at some point and scolded them for it.

Mahariel never thought she’d be “adventuring” in the outside world at the cost of Tamlen’s life and feels guilty for becoming a Grey Warden. Why was she saved in place of him?

Tamlen and Mahariel were best friends since birth, and they met Merrill when they were 10 years old. While Merrill was timid and strict with herself as she was the clan’s First, Tamlen and Mahariel would try and help her relax and engage in fun stuff together. Tamlen and Atheline would invite Merrill out on hunting together, and the two hunters would compete who had the best kill. Merrill would be the mediator during these competitions. 

When entering their teen years, Merrill and Tamlen began having romantic feelings for Atheline. Merrill and Tamlen knew that they shared mutual feelings for Mahariel, and thus their relationship became strained and distant because of it.

Merrill stopped joining in on sneaking into villages with the duo, for she felt that her relationship with them were weaker than the bond between Tamlen and Atheline. She slowly continued to distance herself from the two, and eventually Atheline confronted her about it. Merrill simply says she wanted to focus more on her training as the next Keeper, and that she shouldn’t let such distractions keep her from her studies. 

“That’s bullshit, Merr. What are you doing pulling on Fenharel’s dick for? I’m sorry if I did anything to upset you, but I can’t change if you don’t tell me.” 

“It’s because I’m in love with you, you twat!” 

And there it is, Merrill blurted out the one fear she had, loving Mahariel, loving another woman. In my hc because there aren’t many Dalish people who can preserve the elven gift left by their ancestors (magic), having Merrill was a miraculous gift to the clan. And to keep the old magic alive in the clan, Merrill is expected to produce another bearer of magic. Being with another woman was not an option for Merrill. Merrill not only distanced herself because she knew how Tamlen felt and thought that she had no chance with Mahariel, but she also knew that her clan would never let her be with Mahariel. 

On Atheline’s part, I would like to think that she had feelings for Tamlen but was too late to realize it. She didn’t understand her feelings and was never really bothered to understand them, other than the fact that she cared really deeply for him, but she didn’t think it was any different from how she felt about Merrill (which is why she has a hard time understanding how she feels for Zevran). Atheline ends up rejecting Merrill’s confession, saying that she doesn’t feel the same way, but she always cares about her as a friend. This breaks Merrill’s heart and asks Mahariel if she’d instead be with Tamlen, to which Atheline doesn’t reply because she doesn’t know how to. Merrill and Atheline’s relationship become pretty strained because of it (this will be around the time Dalish origins starts).

Atheline only realizes her feelings when she sees Tamlen as a ghoul and when she was forced to kill him. 

Sadly, Tamlen and Atheline never discussed about his feelings for her. She wasn’t clueless; she knew he had something to say, but he’d just treat her the same as how he always had, and with how it ended with Merrill, she didn’t have the heart to force an answer out of Tamlen either. If he had confessed to her, she wouldn’t have known what to do. Reject him like how she rejected Merrill? Ruin the brotherhood they had together because she couldn’t sort out her feelings?

Tamlen knew how Atheline felt, which was why he decided not to speak to her about it. And they would never speak about it until he reappears into her life as a ghoul. 

“Always…loved you…”

Tamlen and Atheline wanted to go into the cave to find anything interesting to bring back to Merrill in hopes of mending their friendships, for they knew that Merrill was always delighted to discover new elven artifacts. They thought they could do the same with the mirror. 

When Atheline becomes a Grey Warden, she didn’t give up on searching for Tamlen. She made it her life mission and commitment to find him and save him. She didn’t believe Duncan and the clan when they said that Tamlen is dead. She found no body. He must be alive. And he was. 

She blames herself when Tamlen goes missing. She had let her arrogance and thirst for adventure get the better of her. The Dread Wolf had guided her this entire time. She blamed herself for Merrill’s heartbreak, for Tamlen’s unrequited feelings, and for the torture he must be going through with the taint.

Because of this, she becomes extremely protective of her party members during combat. She lets no one step into an unknown area until she examines it first. She’d take an arrow for her teammates when she can, causing her to take on the most injury out of the party. She’d tank her way through it if it meant letting her friends go unharmed.

Many of her companions thought she was arrogant and condescending because of her “I can do it myself” attitude, but when she takes that first hit for a companion, they realize it’s because she’s terrified of having any one of them injured.

It was finally during the trials to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes when Atheline finally accepts the idea of Tamlen being gone. It was when the spirit had taken the form of Tamlen and had said, “Goodbye, my friend. We will never meet again.” That she finally let herself think that it’s okay to forgive herself for this tragedy. 

But then he comes back. He comes back and she can’t save him. She regretted not telling him how she felt. She regretted letting him die without telling him how sorry she was she took too long to realize her feelings.

She does him one last favor and kills him instantly so that she may end his pain. She only feels empty. Alistair is the first to ask if she’s alright, that this was the only way and that it had been a mercy to him. She just wanted him to shut up. 

Mahariel goes into the forest by herself, with Tamlen’s body in her arms, wanting to give him a proper Dalish burial. 

Zevran followed her into the forest, and with not a single word, helps her bury Tamlen. She allowed herself to sob and cry relentlessly, and Zevran would simply wrap his arms around her.

After recovering from Tamlen’s death, she confesses to Zevran that she loves him out of the blues, completely startling Zevran and him rejecting her confession outright because an assassin cannot love. 

“And that’s fine. Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean you need to love them back. You don’t have to do anything at all, really. But I don’t want to make the same mistake I did with Tamlen. I love you, and that’s all there’s to it.”

This completely flusters Zevran and he has no idea what to do with it. He’s been growing fondly of her day after day and had become even more protective of her, but to have her tell him outright that she loves him is just….weird. Incomprehensible. 

[nightwingwhatdidisay]

“it goes like this”

Here’s my contribution to RobStar Week Day 6: Children (which is more like a cameo hehe)

Summary: they’ve got superpowers, and you’re not talking about starbolts or ancient incantations 

(Or: a look into Nightwing’s train of thought)

ao3 version ~ ff.net version ~

A/N: I’ve been taking these prompts pretty loosely and I hope that’s alright with everyone. Also it’s definitely RobStar but note that this fic covers a lot of ground with Robin and the other Titans so if that’s not your thing then by all means I’ll see you on day 7 for some classic RxS fluff

1.

It goes like this.

The morning light ebbs and flows through her hair like waves of fire, and you wonder how you got on with life before she started sleeping in your room, because waking up to this—a glorious configuration of golden skin and red hair and bright green eyes tangled in the sheets—seems like the only correct way to start the day. Her hand snakes out of the blanket and she runs her thumb across your jaw. There are fifty emotions on her face, and because you’ve been with her for some time now, you know she’s about to tell you something sad, and intimate, and honest.

“I believe leaving Tamaran was the worst thing to happen to me.”

That’s a new one.

“Really?”

She nods. “Because it was home. And now I’m here and Earth is home. I can no longer be in either place without missing the other. I fear I am going to spend the rest of my life in a state of yearning, regardless of where I am.”

This is a dilemma because you can’t relate. There’s no “yearning” going on when you think of where you grew up. Gotham is more of a ghost you can’t shake off than it is anything else. But then Kory takes your fingers and brings it up to her lips, and you’re reminded that right now she’s not looking for someone with answers. She’s looking for you, here, sharing the same pillow and breathing the same air while she chips at raw, unorganized thoughts bit by bit. For her this is good enough, and she deserves more than good enough but it’s only morning so there’s time to make it up to her.

And that’s important because Kory’s kind of the most beautiful thing in your life right now and it has nothing to do with her face or her body and everything to do with the life force thrumming inside her, pure and ferocious, and her vulnerabilities and her trust and her kindness that have all miraculously stayed alive despite everything she’s been through. They’re the foundations of the safe house you’ve been building for yourself inside of her.

You’ll have to get out of bed eventually. You both do. You have a team to lead and she’s got to play her part in it. But for now, you give yourself a pass to be selfish, and you cup her face into your hands and you kiss her so deeply you don’t even know who is breathing for whom. And that’s how you let your day begin.

2.

Sometimes you can’t even stand to look at him.

But you’d rather Garfield not know that, because it’s not his fault. So you take the mug of coffee he’s offering you like it’s no big deal and you lean back against the counter, pretending the way he hums commercial tunes while reading the back of the cereal box doesn’t make your heart ache.

You’ve maneuvered the big brother thing with Jason and Tim in the same style Bruce maneuvered fatherhood with you: with an awkwardness beyond measure and heaps of crippling self-doubt and a whole lot of mistakes to seal the deal. So sometimes Garfield terrifies you. Because there’s a brotherhood going on and you rank on his list of role models, and you just don’t want to fuck it up. You’ve seen what it’s like to have a kid so lost and disturbed it got it himself killed. Or the way grief can come down on everyone like a grenade. You know guilt in all its shiny forms, and the insidious way it unravels you with thoughts of what you should have said and what you could have done to keep that boy alive.

Garfield is nothing like Jason. But you’re not really interested in taking any chances. Because behind a screen of lame jokes and false bravado is someone who’s had a childhood much tougher than he lets on. Gar’s got the concealment of pain thing down. And if his powers have taught him anything, it’s how to adapt, how to get from one form to another in order to survive. That’s resiliency, and Garfield’s got it in spades.

He’s growing into something spectacular, and just please, please don’t fuck it up, Dick. Because you’re tired of lost potential, and you know you won’t claw your way out of darkness if it happens a second time.

Gar’s reading the nutritional value of Fruity-O’s on the side of the box and you can’t stop thinking how decent he is. There’s a leader inside him, he doesn’t even realize it yet. You’ve been waiting for the right time to start a new type of discussion with Gar, one about change and the future of the team and your intentions of making him a bigger part of it. Maybe the right time is today. So you stand there, rehearsing it in your mind.

“Dude, you ever wonder how calorically dense a booger is?”

Maybe not today.

3.

Raven’s got hawkeye vision because there is no other reason for you two to be sitting this far away from the mark. The distance is the span of the whole food court and the little girl looks like a tiny blip in a sea of Jump City consumers.

The mall as the venue is your idea, because it’s best to not make a scene, but you’ve tagged along in case things go sour since you never want Raven to be dealing with shit alone. Maybe it’s because she’s been inside your head, or because she’s got the bases covered with father issues and toxic vices and you can both struggle together, but for whatever reason, Raven knows you better than anybody. Better than Bruce and Alfred and Babs and Donna. Even better than Kory.

Maybe it works both ways, because you know what she’s thinking right now.

“They start them young, don’t they?”

The mark is barely a teenager, with a gaunt face and empty eyes and she’s scrawny and pale in a way she shouldn’t be. And there’s a story somewhere but all you need to know is that the system thoroughly failed her, and when people are that desperate and alone and marginalized, they tend to seek salvation in darker places.

Like a Trigonic cult, and Raven’s committed to not having that happen.

Because it’s against the rules of Raven to believe there’s nothing you can do to help those who’ve spiraled into darkness. Raven believes everyone—everyone—is redeemable. And here’s where Gotham rears its ugly head and mucks it all up for you, because you don’t know if you agree. You think you’ve seen irretrievable people before. But Raven’s got a faith in humanity so fierce it can shake your own beliefs and that’s also why you’ve tagged along. Because you want a revelation.

Raven looks at you. “Do you think people notice when I’m around?”

“I notice when you’re not. Does that count?”

“What if I’m not enough to change her mind?”

“Let’s find out.”

You see it well up in her face, the self-doubt. And suddenly she’s rambling to you in a quiet voice about how maybe she‘s not the right person for the job. It should be you. It should be Starfire. It should be someone with an actual joy for life to sell and I can’t do it, Nightwing and I’m too unengaging and Why do I feel like something’s missing in my life without you guys and you guys don’t feel the same about me? and Everything’s swirling away and I’m swirling apart—

Raven’s getting a little hysterical, so you grab her hand.

“I think it’s about time you save that girl.”

She takes the first step forward. And you’re mentally throwing all the strength you have at her. Raven doesn’t realize how much you’ve made her well-being a priority in your life. That you had secretly vowed long ago to keep her around forever.

4.

The team is sitting on a gold mine with this guy and it’s like nobody notices but you.

The end of the day hits and Cy’s got the foresight to wrangle you all up into the T-mobile, and before you know it you’re at the pier, watching Kory explain to the children on line for the cotton candy vendor not to be startled if it disappears in their mouths. Garfield’s got Raven by the arm, dragging her towards the Tunnel of Love with a sadistic gleam in his eye, and you just take it all in, amused out of your mind to witness Cyborg dip into the booth of a very, very pretty fortune teller.

Cyborg’s ironically the most human out of all of you, because he doesn’t forget to relax and if he sees you neglecting yourself he’ll shove relaxation down your throat as well, because he’s a no-man-left-behind kind of guy. Cy’s way passed dealing with his pain and that’s what makes him a success story. Maybe one day you’ll get there too.  

Cyborg leaves the booth with a smug smile and the fortune teller’s number. He walks towards you, giving a subtle gesture of victory and you go in for the fist bump, grinning ear to ear. “Please don’t tell me you gave her the ‘I see your future and it’s me’ spiel.”

Cyborg looks at you like you’re not making any sense, and points to himself. “Look at me. You think I need a pick up line with shoulders like these?”

You can’t get enough of him. Of any of them. Because they’ve got superpowers, and you’re not talking about starbolts or ancient incantations. You’re talking about Starfire’s kindness and Garfield’s resiliency and Raven’s faith and Cy’s confidence and you know you’ve got to deliver too. You’ve got to make all this worth it for them. Because for some godforsaken reason the universe sent you a family you don’t deserve and you have no intention of giving it up anytime soon.

Starfire runs up and kisses you. She tastes like cotton candy, and you realize you finally have an answer for her. You want to tell her to stop seeing home as a place, and start seeing it as a group of people who have her heart. That way, no matter where everyone ends up in the future, every stretch of space between one loved one and another won’t seem so terrifying.

A few years ago you came to this city because you were running away from something. And look at you now, drawn in like a magnet.

You breath in rhythm with all of them, and it’s kind of everything.