#so when i become re-fixated it's usually for some reason...

[wildfairies]

isn't it interesting which characters/ocs you fixate on based on what you're going through...

[sugoi-writes]

Can I be 🦇 anon? For some reason I’ve always been obsessed with the flexing part of an arm? I don’t know the technical term but I can’t see Demon Al doing this as much as his human counterpart would sooooooooo human Alastor with his sweetheart who has never EVER soon for him like woman usually do I mean he has ladies fainting LMAOA HOWEVER one day when he’s cutting idk wood or something she sees his arm flex she’s like a puddle I mean full fangirling giggling and screaming and he’s like huh??? Until he realizes and then boom from then on he’s flexing any time he can to pull a scream from her

🦇Anon? Love it! I'm a big fan of bats! This ask was too adorable. I just KNEW I could cook something up!

It does get a liiiiittle suggestive in parts, but otherwise stays perfectly appropriate! FEAST, my dearies!!!

"Love? The fire is going out! We'll need more firewood!" You call from inside. You make your way to the door, your top half hovering just outside as you searched for your darling beau. You've always enjoyed your time with him at his family's cabin, a piece of his inheritance that was used quite often. And, of course, it was highly appreciated by the both of you.

Your eyes dart about until you heard a distinct CHOP, eyes finding Alastor with his axe buried into an old tree stump. His smile widens when he sees you, wiping the sweat from his brow. You feel your pulse race, surprised to see his bare chest gleaming in the sunlight. The humid, thick air that permeated in the South could not be helped, and so, Alastor worked without a shirt on. Even with this simple and understandable notion, you found yourself fond of (and shocked by) the rare sight. You try to make your face pleasantly neutral and wave, trying to save face.

"No worries, dear. 'Already mending that problem!"

You chuckle, leaning fully into the door frame as Alastor positions a new log to cleave through. The Summer was good for one thing, you reasoned; seeing Alastor's chest, bared for only you to see, heaving steadily as he worked. Better yet, you could practically feel the gaze he gave back to you, his knowing smile making you beam every time you saw it. While you weren't like most others, not being overly doting or frivolous about his appearance, you still appreciated and treasured it deeply.

When Alastor returned to his work, your eyes fixated on his hands, then his arms. Indeed, you were very familiar with how powerful they were. They did wonders for and to you. But then: you see a flex. A jut and shift of his bicep has your mouth watering lecherously. As his grip relaxed on the axe, his body bending down to grab another log, you watched the muscles in his arm relax and re-fire. This set of motions repeated for a time, much to your enjoyment. As an extra treat, sometimes a vein in his neck would pop out at the same time his forearms and triceps strained, making your pupils bloom and shrink with hunger.

It was, without a doubt, an extremely alluring sight. Each time the axe raised over his head, your eyes followed, forcing you to stiffle a nervous chuckle. God, he was too beautiful for his own good. He was too strong for you to handle, and far too beautiful to be a called simple, minimalist man. His body was the work of a master craftsman, thank God.

As another piece of firewood was cut, you covered you mouth, stifling a squeal as he brought a towel to his forehead, huffing from his efforts. When he heard your little noises, he turned to you, his smile drooping slightly," Anything the matter, dear?" You were quick to shrink back, waving his concern off with a nervous laugh.

"Ha-ha, NO! No, I'm fine! Don't worry about me! I-I'll start working on dinner, okay?" Alastor doesn't seem convinced, squinting in your direction. His glasses were cast aside earlier, in fear they may fall off and become a victim of his labor," If you say so, dear. I'll be inside in a moment to help with the potatoes, mon cherie." You nod and turn to go inside, your face still boiling hot as you try to distract yourself. Your body starts to go through the motions, chopping veggies that were freshly harvested to use in your stew. You try to focus on the task at hand, your mind lingering on images of Alastor's physique. You had failed at your task stupendously. You felt no remorse!

You couldn't help but squirm at the mental images: veins and muscles shifting from physical effort. That devilishly handsome smile and toned body... it made your heart race! You wondered what his arms must've looked like when he was hovering above you... Your grip was tightening as you chopped the veggies faster, your safety disregarded. You giggle to yourself, eyes closing momentarily to focus on the pleasant thought of Alastor caging you with his muscular arms until--

"FUCK-- shit!"

No sooner did you wail was Alastor at the door, slamming it open," What happened??? What did--"

Alastor's eyes were wide, pupils shrunken to mere pinpricks as he took in your form. You held your bleeding finger, huffing.

"I-It's fine, it's fine! I'm fine!" You reassure, grabbing a handtowel to press to your wound. Alastor strode over to you, tongue clicking at your carelessness. As he went to put his axe down, your eyes caught his arms again, yelping as you turn away hastily. Your sudden movement left your partner clueless.

Alastor pauses again, a brow raising," My love, what's gotten into you? You've never been this careless before..."

You shuddered as Alastor came behind you, hands resting on the counter on either side of your hips," Are you sure you're quite alright?"

He leaned in to kiss your cheek, coaxing you into looking his way. You began yelping again, your mouth slamming shut as you tear your eyes away from his body. Alastor grumbles, slightly annoyed with your silence," Sweetheart, I can't help you if you don't use your words--"

One hand snatches you by the hip, spinning you quickly around while the other takes your wounded hand.

You eyes are blown wide, unable to make eye contact as they stare down at Alastor's arms," I-Im fine, really just-- just got lost in my thoughts! I promise!"

Between Al's proximity, his partial nudity, and those arms trapping you, you felt like your face blazed hotter than the fucking Sun. Alastor seemed to catch on, watching as your legs squeezed, shifting your weight uncomfortably. He leans closer to you, the muscles in his torso expanding and contracting with his movements. You sigh shakily, stifling a blissful squeak. Ahh. So it was him that was causing you to fret...

Alastor began to chuckle slowly at first, before laughing heartily. You stammered as a large hand came to your shoulder to steady himself, your lips blubbering pathetically. He was laughing fairly hard, causing his abdominals to flex and seize (a sight too delicious to behold). You were whining, on the verge of squealing as you weakly pushed against him again.

"A-Alastor, if you don't back up, I just might NOT be okay!!!" Alastor couldn't help himself, working himself into short bursts of stitches as he calms down, eyes watering.

"Ohhh, dearest... honestly, was I really that distracting to you?" His voice was low and flirtatious as you felt yourself being pressed into the counter, his hips holding you in place. You nearly shrieked as Alastor's hands gripped the counter harshly, knuckles white. Your mouth fell agape with a silent moan as the muscles in his upper arms and pecs stirred once more. You push against him once more, feeling as though you would pop like a balloon.

"A-Al, this isn't cute!!! Stop it, please!" You practically whine as Alastor just leaned, kissing your bright, heated cheeks.

"Well, I suppose I could go chop more wood, if the space could offer you some reprieve..."

You gasp as your chin is pulled forward, forcing you to make eye contact with him. If you weren't in your prime, you'd fear having a stroke at the sight of his almond colored eyes staring back into yours with a tumultuous energy.

"But, I think we both know you'd prefer that I stay rii~iiight here, don't you?" He teased, his lips dangerously close to your own. Your own lips quivered at the relentless pestering, your eyes struggling to make contact again," W-Well, I-- you know I-- uugghhh, if you keep teasing me, dinner is going to be late!!!"

"That's fiiiine by me!" Alastor says in a sing-song tone, and to your horror, you are lifted and placed onto the counter with minimal effort. Your eyes become transfixed on him, unable to clench your legs closed. Alastor knew exactly what he was doing, and he wasn't going to let you off the hook so easily. Your partner moved to be between your thighs, his voice a husky gravel; his tone was JUST loud enough for you to process.

"How about we start with dessert first, hmm~?"

[herejusttosufferalong]

My delulu is intensifying. I'm starting to think that the theory of L catching feelings super early, like even when he first met N, is clicking for me. How he remembers meeting her for the first time in such detail. I just think the wheels were starting to turn even back then. Do I think he was consciously aware of it? Probably not. Do I think he ever vocalised it to N? Hell no. Do I think feelings intensified once he was announced as lead for S3? Absolutely. And got near breaking point during filming? Yes, indeed.

The whole unliking J's posts from a very specific time-point is interesting. Some of you have mentioned that maybe something changed for him at that time, which just so happens to coincide with finding out he was going to lead S3 with N. Very close to the time of that cute N and L photo, looking very cosy. They were probably spending A LOT more time together, planning and discussing. Becoming closer. I imagine N would have been super professional about it. However, I think things shifted when they started filming.

May I present Exhibit A. I was watching this video last night (the YouTuber is fantastic, love her work):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxSZShhh45k&ab_channel=SammyBates

First of all, this kiss is IMHO the best kiss I've ever seen. It literally had it all. I fixated on her comments at 16:45 re. L's lower lip trembling/quivering in the kiss. An involuntary, uncontrollable response. I had noticed it before, but never properly contemplated what it actually means. My scientific investigation began... Googles "lip trembling during kiss". Unfortunately, not very fruitful information, talking about possibly having a potassium deficiency or other medical conditions (lol). No google, not random lip twitching! I'm talking about trembling DURING a kiss. Eventually I did find an answer on the 'girls ask guys' page (reputable, of course). Generally the responses went something like this, "definitely a sign of emotion or fighting to control himself. My bf does this when we're kissing slowly then usually becomes more aggressive soon after (losing control a little)". Becoming so overcome with emotion and trying very hard to reign it in... Hmm ok? And this is involuntary, you say, like it cannot be faked or 'acted'? So two possible options. The method acting was methoding and he really felt the love to his core as Colin for Pen OR well... we all know the other option.

Now, looking back at the BTS, I don't think either of them were really method acting. They were easily coming in and out of character between scenes, and you could see the differentiation between the character and the actor. Although, the intimate behaviours were not really stopping lol. I've noticed other involuntary responses from N as well looking at the BTS, like gulping when he touches her face while practicing the dance scenes. I would hazard a guess there was real fire there. But as many have also said, the lines were blurry and they probably were pinning the feelings down to their characters, and the high emotion surrounding leading such a big production. Dismiss those feelings.

Take time apart, and come back, and guess what? The feelings are still there but they're not playing Polin. Avoid, reject internally, become defensive? Give in possibly? Emotionally? Physically? Not sure. But either way, I believe walls were built back up for reasons we can probably deduce. The timing just ain't right.

Now I guess we wait and see what happens during S4 filming.

#hardcoredelulu

💜🥃

[autisticempathydaemon]

(I’m re-typing this because I forgot some key information and I apologize in advance for any typos or confusion, I’m bad at typing)

Hi, idk if you still answer these but it looked fun to try! I hope you’ve had a good day/night, may your dreams be pleasant and your crops watered for the ✨harvest✨

* What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

I don’t currently have one favorite but “Never Coming Back” from Violet Evergarden, “The Road Not Taken” by Hoyo-Mix, “Smooth Operator” by Sade and “Control” by Loveless are currently the top 4 for the day (honorable mention to “Kapp’n Song” from ACNH) I don’t really have a reason and it’s kinda just what my brain chemistry currently likes

* What is your Enneagram type?

9?? I think, I’m not entirely sure sense I got confused trying to figure it out X~X

* Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

ABSOLUTELY!! I’m not sure if I have a reason? Maybe it’s because I can just sit and listen to something I’m interested in for a long time and just relax and focus on one thing?? I also like to listen to livestreams and other long videos, I tend to watch/listen to “AthenaP”, “EIsSocial” and a Persona 4 analysis from “Hiding in Private”.

* Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

My brain didn’t cook one up

* What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

Rotating like a rotisserie chicken, Comforter/Blanket on, Hugging a Plushie (usually this Peep I’ve had sense 2018 or my Wolf Build-A-Bear) and one earbud in either playing music, a rp audio (currently redacted) or an analysis video ive heard about 20 times

* If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

I’ve been through a lot of names online due to my indecisive-ness but currently I was thinking KC/Kayce. I have a lot of memories associated with the name and I like how it sounds <3

* What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

The Smash Tournament with the Shaw Pack, Sam Healing you after the Fight with the Two Vampires (or honestly any Sam Audio), and the Gameboi’s Anthology. I think it’s the comforting/close/intimate (in a way?not sussy intimate tho) nature of the audios

* What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

I haven’t listened to most of the boys/stories and I tend to cater my listening to what I know I already like with little to no experimentation; so I don’t really have a boy(s) in mind that doesn’t appeal to me as of right now

* Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

either “Yuri! On Ice” or “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”. I watched both of these shows WAYY to many times to the point it’s concerning!! YOI which reminded me of my love of figure skating (watching and ice skating in general) and then I got into MLPFIM when the Season 2 final (Canterlot Wedding) aired and was obsessed after that for like 6yrs and still have moments of fixation for a couple days.

* Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

Probably Huxley, Lasko and/or Caelum.. and like all of the Shaw Pack (I’m indecisive)

* Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

If I still have energy to talk/think, Pokémon. Tired, Half-Asleep, My Own Funeral or Given the Opportunity, I will become the Yap King for about 3hrs!! Once I get my Communication Skills under wraps it’s over for Everyone! >:D

* Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

I don’t go to the gas station more than like 3 times a year, but probably a carbonated drink.. or lemonade if available. I’m a self-proclaimed slut for lemonade 24/7, 365.

* Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

If you mean the Redactedverse, then Sam, Porter (I made my own sense there isn’t an official one as of typing this) and Gamboi’s. But if you Music, then a playlist I made called “more tunes” and it has all my Emotion-Filled, Loud and Auditor-ally Stimulating Songs like “Enter Sandman” by Metallica, “Control” by Loveless and like 1/4 of 6arleyhumans Discography to listen to when I’m Under-stimulated or just Bored

* What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

Idk if I have a “Guilty Pleasure” but I have a “Angry Pleasure” and that’s Miraculous Ladybug. I waited 8yrs real time for some of the stuff that goes down and in their time it’s been like 9 months. I’m gonna cut myself off before I rant but damn do I have a love-hate relationship with this show

* And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

I’m an INFP, I’m the Middle Child of 3, I have Psychological Parental Problems, I love the Stars and Anything Outer-Space themed/related, My favorite color is Blue, I’m more of a Listener then a Talker, I tend to think about my Past, I’m probably Mentally Ill (specifically, I think I have Depression, Anxiety, Autism and MAYBE BPD/Borderline Personality Disorder. gotta love multi-wielding these issues), Love the Mystery Genre and specifically I’m always down for a Murder Mystery at a Mansion, People Pleaser™, I like the Rain and Cold Weather, I prefer to binge rather than one at a time otherwise I’m probably never finishing the media in question, I own 2/3 cats (it’s complicated, their names are Lucifer, Hazel and Marbles <3), My favorite food is Ice Cream (yes it’s a food, fight me.) I’m pretty sure I gave up my dream to be a professional figure skater and go to the Olympics but I hope to ice skate more when I get the opportunity, and finally “It’s not the Heat, it’s the Humidity”.

Thank you for your time <3 (platonic heart for existing)

This was a hard one for me because I have an inkling that the boy I’m picking for you, you haven’t listened to. Ollie isn’t the most narratively interesting playlist on the channel, but I do think he’d be the most perfect for you.

First and foremost, Ollie is an openly communicative, affectionate, and supportive partner; these are really good traits when dating a Type Nine who are characterized by a desire for peace and harmony, the people pleasers of the Enneagram. When his Baby signs up for too much work or has family issues, he’s right there helping you however he can, uplifting you. Next, Ollie is definitely also an introvert, and I love that for y’all, that the home you made together is where you go to recharge. It’s a good home and a good life- no Inversion, no covert, just comfort and safety and fun.

Like, Ollie’s no werewolf, vampire, or daemon obvs. He’s just a guy, but he’s a guy who’d love your cats and introduce you to his own. He’d buy you a telescope and put it in his office so you could look at the stars together. He’d watch Yuri on Ice and Miraculous Ladybug for the first time with you because he wants to engage with your interests and is curious about what the person he loves loves. I don’t think he can figure skate for shit, but he goes with you all the time anyway no matter how many times he falls on his butt. What he is good at is games, and he hosts a murder mystery party for your birthday every year.

Song:

Hey, hey, hey, lover (hey-hey)/ You don't have to be a star/ Hey, hey, hey, lover (hey-hey)/ I love you just the way you are/ For love is just the same/ Without fortune or fame/ Just give me/ True love and understanding

This, to me, is the quintessential Ollie song, I think of him whenever I hear it. It’s cute, and the backing tracks are layered in a way I find so satisfying and I hope you find auditorily stimulating. I can imagine this playing through a shared set of earbuds or a little Bluetooth speaker while you hold his hands and help him stay upright on ice skates.

Runner-ups:

Camelopardalis is a really cute runner-up for you, because he’d be such a supportive presence for someone who identifies as a people pleaser. I also like pairing d(a)emons with people who love space, because it’s so cute to imagine them pointing out their constellation to you. Your other runner-up is, of course, Xavier who could make you an ice skating rink whenever he wants and happily would.

Note: I think you modified and submitted your entry a couple of times, so I picked the one that I felt gave me the most information to work with.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[the-everqueen]

fic author self-rec

@mehoymalloy tagged me to pick five of my own fics to recommend, pero i've only finished one for my current fandom, which is what most recent followers would be looking for. so! since the gf, who is much more prolific and better with words than me, has written so much for mansand, i thought i'd pick five of hers that i like the most and want other people to scream about. she's not on tumblr, but she's user stellersong on ao3.

shuddered at what they found when they stripped away the grace Dream, after the Wake. body horror, not in the usual viscera and gore sense, but the horror of being the newly (re)embodied anthropomorphic personification of the collective unconscious, when part of you had been a human child. this is required reading for everyone who wants Daniel!Dream coping with his new existence. also Delirium is a good big/little sister. (gen)

y me muero por volver, volver post-Wake Dream and Death get lunch in SF. both of them navigating around the shadow of Morpheus and who they've become. some of my favorite characterization of Death - you really get a sense of her as a person, her grief and kindness. also very good background worldbuilding for the Endless. (gen)

for just to suffer that hurt Desire's got wind of the developing relationship between their brother and his librarian. it's technically part of their function, after all. there's some fun timey-wimey things happening here with the alternate timelines presented in Overture. also frankly i think the gf is doing the only interesting things in this fandom with intertextual references: so many people are fixated on medieval studies, and meanwhile the Dreaming has every work that has ever existed or could have ever existed in the whole world, which is bigger than England. (*cough cough* Anglocentrism *cough*) this is part of the "endless revisions" series but imho you don't need to have read the previous fics to understand this one. (m/f, Dream/Lucienne, semi-background)

a pillar i am, upright this one is for all you horny Dream/Luce people. basically Lucienne has fun mentally tormenting Dream while they're both trapped in a work function. this fic also contains one quick reference to my guy, which frankly just makes me warm because i know the gf did that for me. (m/f, Dream/Lucienne)

unauthorized disclosure this is kind of cheating because i'm listed as a co-author (solo fic in progress, got heavily delayed by me finishing a phd and then hyperfixating on CocoRose). BUT it's not a swan fic-list without a monster au and werewolves are my soft spot. this one's the first in the "red moon" series: basically Lucienne gets hired as Dream's RA for a secret project to cure lycanthropy and things go sideways fast. i'm obsessed with how the gf describes so-called monstrous bodies - there's a brandon taylor essay about how no one in fiction occupies physical space anymore, and the gf is so good at bodies as devices/communicative structures/things that take up physical space. if you've ever gotten tired of fics where the characters seem to move for no reason besides as a dialogue tag (a thing i'm so guilty of in my own writing), you should read swan's fic to study how she uses movement.

this was insanely fun; thanks, Malloy! i always feel weird tagging people but if you follow me and want to talk about your fic, feel free to consider yourself tagged (and tag me so i can read it if i haven't!)

[kaythefloppa]

Part 2 of the review is under the cut! Beware of spoilers!

Again, I will re-iterate: This specific animation feels on par with an actual theatrical release (or hell, even some of those polished Disney direct-to-DVD movies in the 2000s like Lion King 3 or Bambi II). It is beautiful to look at.

The only animals that can take down a blue whale are Orcas, but beyond that, yes size does matter when it comes to a blue whale's low mortality rate.

I really find it sweet how this show casually has Chris naming animal friends. The show initially set it up as being Martin's "thing" and presenting Chris doing it as a rarity, but now they just have it as the "new normal" where he can name animals without Martin's influence. The very next episode does a juxtaposition of this where the entire crew goes around naming animals as the plot, but it's not a bad juxtaposition at all.

Also, I really like the idea of them naming baby animals in the language of their region. Maybe it's because I've spent too much time in the Lion King fandom but I find that really unique. (And context: Mambiky means "Jump" in Malgasy).

Since he didn't name the mom, I will: Mihira (meaning "Sing" in Malagasy)

Maybe it's because I hyper fixate on the flash games too much which resulted in me caring way more about the disc colors than I should, but it is so aesthetically pleasing that these discs are blue and green to match their animals' colors and users (I forgot to mention this in Part 1 but the Anaconda Disc should've been green dammit)

I am slowly warming up to these new suits. I'm not even kidding. I like how goofy they are. And once again, this is the same episode where the fucking Wild Pony Suit was in a callback, so of course I'm going to praise these suits.

She plottin'

Those Zachbots get mangled by the enemy literally once a week and yet they're strong enough to chuck this big-ass turtle into the beach?? Also, what happened to that Tortuga disruptor blast, that would be very useful right now.

Also also, the Tortuga can swim. This is the equivalent of throwing a crocodile into the river with the intent to kill it, hoping it won't bite you or swim away to safety.

I did the math. They spent a full minute and 10 seconds focusing on this model of the Earth completely deteriorating. When I first asked, I kept asking myself "What is the point?" I've seen this episode almost four times - Knowing how it ends, I think this episode would have shot itself in the foot if they didn't include this scene. More on that later, but yeah, it is a good scene.

Fun fact: This is the exact reason why Indris are endangered. And for a species that literally cannot evolve anywhere else that, is a keystone species of the very habitat they have gone to evolve in, that is the last thing they need. I'm surprised the episode didn't mention that, but that's just me.

Legitimate question here: Where the fuck is Rex?

No really, where the fuck is he? He's usually the one who mans the pavers while Paisley overviews. We saw him literally just 2 episodes ago. In a vacuum, it makes little sense, but is equally as minute of an issue. But once again, if you know how this episode ends, it becomes a major plot-hole. If they resolve this in a future episode, ideally in the next batch of episodes, fine I'll lay off but there is no reason for him to not be here.

Notice Zach and Paisley's differing reactions to the Kratts telling them to fuck off. This will come into play later, but it is a decent example of a set-up to a pay-off, (again, can only be noticed from a retrospective view). And I think it does help said pay-off.

I know that Zach has tried to kill the bros before multiple times, as with all the other villains but I can't be the only one who was shocked at how the Zachbots almost SLICED CHRIS IN HALF on a kids' show. I actually yelled "oh shit!" a this!

God this is such an asspull it's not even funny...

1. SINCE F**KING WHEN?!?!?!

2. "Theoretically"

BULLSHIT!!!

ZACH HAS LITERALLY DONE THE EXACT SAME THING BECAUSE IT WAS A FLAW. A BUG. NOT A FEATURE. A BUG. THAT HE FOUND OUT. AND EXPLOITED. THAT YOU NEVER FIXED. I REPEAT. BULL. FUCKING. SHIT.

3. If you could do this now, what stopped you from doing it at ANY point in the series??

4. What the fuck happened to the Creature Souvenir collection? All Chris could've done was tell Jimmy to reverse teleport shed anaconda skin back to the HQ and save it for later.

5. What are the point of the gloves if you can hit the rewind button on the suit? Since the animal's DNA apparently doesn't mean jackshit here???

6. Did it not occur to you that maybe Zach, who has done this countless of times before for years on end, would probably be able to undo what you plan on doing, because that's EXACTLY what he does!

7. WHY IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE??? THE ENTIRE EXISTENCE OF THE RING CHIP WAS TO PREVENT THIS. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG WHICH THIS DOES.

This is the woman who invented time travel, I'm being selfish by expecting basic fucking logic to dictate this situation.

So there's a Blue Crab Power Suit now?? Don't you think that would've been more effective, especially since this is the beach?? Will we ever get a blue crab episode?? Does anything mean anything anymore????

Still better than the Mountain Goat Suit.

We stan a self-aware queen (also, replace this image with Dr. Frankenstein and his monster with the same dialogue, you will get the EXACT same effect).

S7 please stop giving me reasons to slander Aviva, it hurts me more than it hurts you.

Petition to have Chris be the new villain in Kung Fu Panda 5, the Chameleon ain't got shit on him.

THis show can be hilariously badass when it needs to be.

And here is a huge contender for the best scene in the entire damn show. These 2 octopuses go out of their way to save Chris from the Zachbot. It's one of those things that is so random that it you wind up liking it so much because of what it does.

Also, I think there was a missed opportunity for Chris to activate Octopus Power here.

I like how polite she was in asking them to leave. At first glance, it's odd and funny, but just wait. We're reaching the home stretch here.

Once again, this is another juxtaposition and one that is so cleverly written. Paisley is obsessed with order, believing nature to be messy and in need of "correction" through building. Her entire belief system being deconstructed by seeing the coral reef being built naturally and seeing its beauty is an amazing bit of dramatic irony that surprises me even for this show. It's an interesting study on the character.. (though the fact that up until this point she's been painfully underutilized, makes previous episodes.. feel kinda downy).

This is another interesting step. Most villain redemptions (well written ones at least) focus on the villain regretting their past actions and acknowledging them to be in the wrong. Whilst that step is (unfortunately) kinda missing in this episode, it showcases something equally enthralling. They change for the better out of a specific concern for the future. As in, "If I stop doing X, then this bad thing will not happen because it should not happen." I don't often see that enough in most shows, so once again, this is a very ingenuitive take on the character. If I sound like a parrot, it's only because this particular moment of the episode is the beginning of the trajectory change for the entire fucking show, so I have to focus on it and how it's written specifically so we can get to the elephant in the room.

There is nothing - Absolutely nothing that prepared me for this moment. I was in sheer denial the whole time, waiting for the catch. I thought it was going to be a fake-out like the one in the Christmas special, or just the villain surrendering for the episode. I was fully ready for a twist. Only to realize that this WAS the twist. They pushed themselves into a corner they can't back out of.

Paisly Paver, is one of the good guys now.

Now, here's the question on everybody's minds? Is this change permanent? I mean, despite Wild Kratts's strong continuity, they do hit the reset button a lot when it comes to some things. Well, in an article by Martin Kratt, he says in a non-spoilery way,

“There is a surprise at the end of the special. I can't tell you too much. But there's a really interesting twist that happens with one of the show's villains in Our Blue and Green World that will change that villain’s arc for the rest of the series.”

....which means that this isn't a fluke or an April Fools' joke (which a few people, myself included initially thought). This is an honest to god change for the show.

How do I feel about it? Well... on one level, I think it could've been done really better. Like, give Paisley more appearances of her as a villain. That way we get used to her being one of the status quo villains. I took count. She has only appeared in 6 episodes of the show, half of which were solo appearances, the other half were team-ups with the villains. That's... weirdly enough far too few appearances for us to treat her as one of our main villains. The writers do seem to understand that making a villain too villainous for too long has the risk of their character crossing the moral event horizon which would shoot themselves in the foot if they ever thought about redeeming such a character. However, on the other side of things, we at least need to recognize our villain as a villain for a redemption to not be jarring, so the underutilization of Paisley brings this down.

Additionally, there's the absence of Rex and the implication it has. He's for some reason not there during Paisley's redemption and has very little to do with the creation of "Blue and Green World" at the end. Does that imply that he is still a villain? That he's not gonna get redeemed? Beyond Dabio, he’s the only villain I would’ve actually expected to get a redemption arc. Paisley and Rex have some of the healthiest relationships out of all the villains, arguably all of the characters. I don’t like the idea that Paisley will just abandon Rex and their entire business in favor of the enemy and this resulting in him them having to fight or worse - him potentially being written off the show. In a future episode that continues to delve into Paisley’s heel-face, turn, they need to resolve the loose ends in regards to that dynamic.

Also, still bummed that my Donita x Paisley ship has gone down the drain along with any chance of them teaming up. Again, if they were going to redeem her, they could’ve at least done that as one final hurrah for the character before doing it. At best, we’ll probably see an episode of them facing off which will remedy the blow a little bit.

But, with all things said and done, the execution is still okay. The way they give Paisley a heel-face turn doesn’t seem all that forced and her first incentive is to do the exact opposite of what she set out to do. Build, to help animals, not harm them. And the set-up they do is pretty clever. She’s less outwardly shitty about it as Zach is, she grills him sometimes, and the purpose of the “rock” scene comes very much into play, tying the plot together in a neat little bow.

And again, the fact that they had the balls to do this and to follow through on it, earns a lot of my respect.

I get that it’s standard for villain redemptions to come with a wardrobe change but this is ridiculous. The colors do not match AT. ALL. I really hope they don’t make this her permanent look, or make Rex’s new wardrobe change anything like this (if he gets one).

Wait... so are they narrating or talking directly to the audience? It feels like I'm watching an episode of Go Diego Go lmao.

I was going to question how the fuck Blue and Green World was allowed to be authorized and made, especially with Paisley's track record, but then I remembered that the Kratts own a goddamn flying turtle and other inventory and shit. Getting the funds for this must have been the equivalent of purchasing glasses for the eclipse!

Tumblr will not let me upload anymore images so some notes:

Some Wild Kratts kids from the earlier seasons! Obviously we can't hear them speak because their VAs are grown up now but it's still nice seeing them again.

Ignoring how allowing a bunch of kids to fully interact with wildlife without major adult supervision can go hilariously wrong here, (gotta suspend my disbelief), this is such a great way of showing how construction can be done without going at the expense of wildlife or sacred places in general. It's a message that I think should be pushed way more!

An instrumental reprise of the musical number without any singing!! Glory be!!!

The closer involves whale tagging. Very exciting.

CONCLUSION:

CONS:

Paisley's redemption missing a few fundamental details (INCLUDING REX BEING THERE WHAT THE FUCK).

The lack of a climax. Like, the trailers hyped it up as this big special and the climax is not a big battle but just one villain saying "nope, no more" and another just fucking off. Maybe it's to subvert our expectations but you could've worked around this!

Paisley's wardrobe change.

Aviva once again having to be dumbed down for the sake of the plot... *sigh.*

PROS:

It still felt big. It felt like a bigger episode with bigger stakes [sorta] and bigger characterization than your regular episode. I'm of the opinion that S7 is the most experimental of the lot so far, because they spent 2 years working out their scripts and animations, and they knew that a section of the fanbase would be waiting so they decided to play by their strengths, but take more risks with it, do things outside of the show's comfort zone to lead it to new heights. It's "out there." This episode is a perfect example of that and for as many times as it misses, it also hits too. I like the animals, I like the suits, the animation, the themes, the morals, the writing, the characters, the settings, the education. On some level, it's everything I've been expecting for in S7.

They definitely raised the bar this season with this special. I'd argue that it's one of the best episodes of the season so far, one of the best two-parters and arguably the best episode of the series. Now that isn't a final verdict, there are several others I like far more, but I would call this the most respectable well-conceived story of the show, and it raised my expectations here. Initially I was worried this episode would potentially lead to the show's downfall but after analyzing it, I think I see good things for Wild Kratts from here on out.

Final Ranking: 8.9/10.

Wild Kratts - Our Blue and Green World: Part 1: Review [Spoilers]

Welp, here it is, the Wild Kratts TV movie (not to be confused with the feature film they've been teasing us with since 2021). There's been a lot of hype around this special and season, especially with how much the latter was being hyped up during the hiatus. Let's see if the blue and green bros were able to deliver: Spoilers under the cut

Well, this is certainly an attention grabber!

This entire live action intro is shot and edited like an animated Wild Kratts episode, it's glorious.

Woah, intro change!

They said the thing! They said the thing!

HELP THIS IS SO RELATABLE. Also, THE BOYS ARE FIGHTING

Lmao I don't think they do it very often, but using animals/nature in their insults is very creative.

Also, whooping crane episode when?

This entire song is mercifully short. Like most character sung songs in Wild Kratts, it's not good, but this at least is clever in its lyrics and its visuals. It feels like a Disney reference at best and I am content with that. I also ADORED seeing the Draco and Walrus Suit return again. It's arguably the best musical number in the series. No, that is not saying a lot.

MARTIN WHY ARE YOU THE ONE WHO'S MIFFED YOU NEARLY MUFASA'D YOUR LITTLE BROTHER

CHRIS WHY ARE YOU MILDLY INCONVENIENCED YOU GOT ACRAPHOBIA FALLING FROM THAT HEIGHT

When I first saw the clip, I thought that they were going somewhere with this, like they'd activate Peacock Powers at the end when they recognized the compatibility and blue and green. But nope. Wasted potential is an understatement.

Also, where the fuck are they right now? In a previous shot there was Target the Chameleon, implying that they've been to Madagascar, but that is an Indian peafowl, and as far as I'm concerned, they don't live in Madagascar. Were they just having an off-day? These animals have little to nothing to do with the plot when they really shouldn't have, so I don't see why they couldn't have just shown a projector image or something.

Remember when I joked about the Wild Pony Power Suit returning in S7.... fuck you Apollo.

Man, they are eating it up with the animation here. It's hard to tell with screengrabs but man, is it fluid.

The first half of this episode is mixed. While it feels like the brothers are incredibly stubborn, it also does make sense for them to be this fixated on their favorites. So I can totally buy this. It could've been insufferable to watch, but it wasn't.

As if YOU haven't spied on them since the first time your dorito-headed ass showed up on screen

Did you find that funny? Because not only do they do a similar joke like that later on, but they follow through on that joke in the most unexpected way you will shit your pants when you first ingest it.

Oh my god if they make a Creature Power Suit off of that bird, I will take back any diss I've made, that is so beautiful.

Good to know that Aviva put the button near the chest and not near the back.

Maybe it's just me but this is kinda pushing it. Chris is literally getting his organs crushed, I think that should matter more than A) being right or B) trying to get 2 people to stop fighting.

I'm loving the callback and what this leads up to but ew, all this does is remind me about how ugly bright the color pallatte in S6. Really glad they fixed it in S7.

HELL FUCKING YES

This episode finds really unique ways of showing how the two different biomes are interconnected. It's like Rainforest Stew's (very brilliantly handled) message only to a larger degree. Kids can learn a lot from this.

I fucking love this episode, man.

Honestly, the way they write Paisley in the first half of the episode is very in-line with her character. Most shows that do what this episode does has them be out-of-character as a set-up, but here, she's just roasting the fuck out of Zach. Once again, recontextualized entirely in the climax.

HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET TO MADAGASCAR FROM THE GODDAMN AMAZON IN ONE AFTERNOON THAT IS LIKE MORE THAN 1,000 MILES AWAY?? ARE ANACONDAS THAT FAST?????

Also, INDRIS!!!!! :D

I was frankly expecting this to horribly backfire but spoilers, it doesn't. This actually winds up working. Common Aviva W.

To be continued.... will the blue and green rivalry end? Will one prove superior over another? And will they be able to stop Zach and Paisley and save the planet earth? And will this change the adventures of the Wild Kratts team forever? Stay tuned for part 2!

Pros:

The live action segments.

The animation of the earth's model.

The musical number not being ass.

Paisely's catty behavior.

The Anaconda Suit.

The inventive ways they show how the stability of the Earth is complex. There are a lot of ways it functions and thus a lot of ways it needs to survive

The comedy.

Cons:

The villains do not do anything until the second half of this episode. In fact, they're left completely in the backdrop. I expected them to make their prescence known and for Aviva to invent the discs to get them together for the SAKE of fighting the villains. But no. It makes the stakes feel hollow, which is the opposite of what they should be gunning for in an hour long special that they hype the shit out of.

CONCLUSION:

It was an "okay" set-up. It did live up to some of the hype it had, but not all of it. Honestly if it wasn't for the second half of this episode, this movie would be mediocre or slightly above average, but no. They do pick themselves off the ground and... they do jump the shark. But we'll get to that next time

[gas-stxtion-a]

@rejectshumanity said: ♡ ♢ ☼ for the munday meme!

(what is this? an interrogation? come back with a warrant - open)

//hehe thank you <3 i'll put these under the cut b/c i never fucking shut up lmao

♡ What are your top five favorite things about yourself?

//how daaaare you make me be nice to myselffffff

no jokes aside <3 anyway.

i like that i'm generally a nice person! i think that it's important to be kind when you can, because there's enough darkness in the world. why not be kind when you have the chance?

... on another note, though, i'm really happy that i'm getting better at standing up for myself and handling conflict. because being kind is important, but sometimes you gotta be a bitch and that's life! i was rereading something i sent a friend years ago regarding a conflict i was having at the time, and i was astounded by it lmao like... oh my god. my dude. you have very good reasons to be upset and it's okay to say "i'm mad at this person" without adding a million disclaimers that it's probably not their fault!!

i genuinely think i'm *so* fucking funny, and for better or worse, you will certainly hear my jokes.

i'm a good listener. when people are having a hard time and need someone to talk to, i'm good at like... just offering a listening ear. i may not always have advice but i can generally listen and chat and help someone talk through it if that's what they need.

i don't like to judge people unless they give me very, very good reason to, especially if i don't know them. i try to assume ignorance more than i'll assume malice, though i'm also trying to get better at recognizing when the line between those can get a bit blurred haha.

♢ What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?

//gimme that salted caramel <333 though honestly a long-time favorite is like. anything with cherries. that's the good shit.

☼ Who are your top five favorite fictional characters?

//CRACKS KNUCKLES.

okay for the sake of not going on forever, i'll just list five characters that aren't muses of mine (at least not on this blog). because we all know mr jack townsend is number one but like. others deserve a shot. for fun, i'll also explain myself a bit :3c

dr. robert langdon - the da vinci code (and other dan brown books)

i was obsessed with these books a completely normal amount as a middle schooler (lying). something about this like... charming middle-aged professor who keeps finding himself in the middle of massive conspiracies usually related in some way to religion and frequently having his life put in danger? and saves the day by being a fucking nerd? what a dude!

arthur morgan - red dead redemption 2

if you were there for my rdr2 fixation (which most of you definitely weren't lmao) then uhhh yeah <3 genuinely i had a huge crush on this character and was so obsessed with him for so long. the yearning was out of control, folks. i do still have a lot of fondness for him, but tbh some not-so-fun interactions in the fandom really put me off of the whole series for a while. he still means a lot to me though!

rhys - tales from the borderlands

would it be exaggerating to say that rhys tftbl is the reason i'm trans? probably. but y'know something about him really resonated with me at a time when i was really going through some gender fuckery and trying to figure myself out. idk what it says about me that that shitty little twink helped me figure myself out a bit, but anyway.

evelyn mckinnon - accounts from a lonely broadcast station

had to list at least one woman lmao- but yeah i really love evelyn. she's such an incredibly written character and every time i reread (or. rather. re-listen to) the series i actually get a little choked up because her narrative is so *fascinating* and well-done to me. like wow we love a tragic cringefail woman who has to face her own mistakes and become better, not just for her own sake but for others'!!! and face the fact that her fuck-ups hurt more than just herself!!!

evelyn is one of the many characters i'm considering for the horror multimuse i talk about sometimes. and maybe i'll even let her stay a cis woman- i'm kidding ASDFJKL; but like. fr. we'll see.

charlie kelly - it's always sunny in philadelphia

honorable mention for the trashiest man i'm currently thinking about lmao- so i started watching iasip because i wanted to see the insanity for myself and. wow all of these characters are terrible. but god it's so fun to see them in action. and charlie is by far my favorite. he's illiterate. he drinks paint. he eats cat food for fun. he's an artist. he makes a living beating rats to death with a stick. he's a wet paper bag of a man. he's very deeply traumatized and doesn't realize it.

he's the perfect man.

[earthstellar]

how would you go about doing SG bumblebee/goldbug? i have a few of my own thoughts but i’d love to hear yours :0

Thanks for asking! :)

There have been a few slightly varied depictions of SG!Bumblebee/Goldbug, but I'll just take a general approach here and not fixate too much on any one story. :)

It's been a while since I've read SG content, and I've never done so with too much of a focus on Bumblebee specifically, so please take all this with a grain of salt as I haven't had any time to go back and re-read the relevant content! :')

Bumblebee: A Basic Character Trait Analysis

With Bumblebee in the main canon, we can isolate a few common traits across almost all of his various appearances:

Friendly

Fairly outgoing if shy or awkward at times

Young (by which I mean, inexperienced or less experienced than others)

Highly motivated and energetic

Brave / Curious (he's a scout, so this makes sense)

Cares about others / his team mates

We tend to find these traits endearing!

In fact, this is why Bumblebee is often the "child audience appeal" character, and features so heavily in merchandise and advertising!

It's also why he could carry his own solo film; It is easy to believe such a character would be willing to engage with humanity, overcome any fear/hesitancy with a wide-eyed honest approach (literally, they have redesigned his model several times over the years to emphasise his optics to hammer this home visually), and he's least likely to come across as scary to younger kids because his inquisitive and open nature comes across as friendly and non-threatening-- Even though he's a giant robot from space.

But then!

In Shattered Glass, we tend to see him depicted as:

Ruthless

Disinterested in others for the most part unless they serve a purpose for his goals

Highly focused (could overlap easily with highly motivated) but only when he takes personal interest

Far less of a team player unless necessary

Cunning but willing to abandon a plan or situation if he deems the risk to himself or his goals to be too great

We tend to find these traits intense or even off-putting; SG Bumblebee comes across as more selfish or manipulative, and a lot is lost from what we find interesting, compelling, relatable, or enjoyable about his original universe counterpart in this trait-swap.

(Personally, I think we never really got a Shattered Glass style episode in any animated media at least in part because Bumblebee is mostly the "kid-friendly" character, and doing SG Bumblebee might be considered by Hasbro to be too jarring or potentially genuinely upsetting for the target younger audience for them to ever commit to greenlighting a legit SG episode.

Among other reasons, lol, but Bumblebee is usually specifically used to appeal to the youngest children watching any TF media, so I can see how they would want to dodge this potential concern.)

Why This Is An Issue:

Generally, in the context of the SG comics, this is why Bumblebee/Goldbug can be a little off-putting or outright unlikable for some people.

We don't really see him as being Bumblebee anymore, even an alternate universe version of him, because his core traits are just totally removed and swapped out.

Like I said in my other SG analysis post, in order to relate to the characters and continue to accept them as different versions of characters we are already familiar with, at least SOME recognisable elements of some core traits needs to remain.

Otherwise, they become just a little too far removed, and we stop being able to really see them as who they are supposed to be a mirror image of. They start to become new, different characters altogether, in an unfamiliar universe, which doesn't work when the unfamiliar universe is, well, unfamiliar-- We have no connection to it, once the characters lose our interest or become too unrecognisable.

This isn't universal, of course, but this tends to be one of the problems with Transformers SG content in general; I love the concept 100%, but there needs to be a balance with the trait-swapping.

Some Possible Ways to Address SG Trait Swap And Make It Slightly Less Jarring: Bumblebee Edition

To retain more of a connection to Bumblebee as he appears in the SG universe, it would help to retain more of his original universe traits of genuine curiosity or sense of wonderment, carried over from his main universe counterpart which we are more familiar with.

Not only is Bumblebee a scout, so he does tend to exhibit a personal and professional curiosity-- This is why he is often the first bot to run into human beings when looking around or exploring a populated area for the first time.

But also, we associate curiosity with youth, and therefore with some degree of innocence.

While SG!Bumblebee/Goldbug is very experienced and more "hardcore" as it were, it would still be nice to retain this genuine kind of curiosity as a personality trait, rather than a professional trait.

Sure, he knows professionally that he needs to stay behind cover, or shouldn't ask questions. But personally, he is curious.

He wants to know, he investigates even when he maybe shouldn't and discovered some things as a result, or maybe we get a brief moment where he is less motivated by underhanded selfish goals and instead is primarily motivated purely by an interest in something that catches his eye, something he's spotted before anyone else has.

We could get some moments where his motivation is not something underhanded or cruel or conniving, but rather, just a little innocent curiosity. Just so we could see that we can recognise something in this character, so there's a little hope that comes up-- Oh, maybe he has the capacity for some good, maybe somewhere inside his spark there is something untouched by his outwardly aggressive behaviour, etc.

And while this may not be the case in whatever story, it is an engaging thought for readers/the audience to have. We still want to think there's something more under all that toughness and selfishness;

And that makes sense, because it adds some interest and potential depth to his character.

By which I mean, a common problem with SG is often that the characters are so obviously and overwhelmingly evil that they come across as one-dimensional villains, rather than alternate universe versions of characters we care about.

We generally don't get to see SG Autobots do anything other than be comically evil, unnecessarily cruel or violent, etc. and it winds up falling a little flat because it removes a lot of the complexity from these characters as we know them through their original universe counterparts.

Case Study: Star Trek Mirror Universe

I'm going to pick DS9's mirror universe, because there's a great example of this, good and bad.

A great example of "Trait Swap Balancing" (as I call it) is Kira, in the mirror universe episodes.

Kira, in the main universe, is a victim of violent oppression who obtains a position of relative authority on board a previously occupied space station which orbits her home world, out of a personal desire to oversee the restoration efforts and ensure her people are not taken advantage of by Starfleet immediately after the prior oppressors are made to leave the station, as she does not initially trust Starfleet to act on their promises or remain within their agreed upon limited remit.

Kira, in the mirror universe, is a collaborator and secured her position of power through political finesse and social manipulation, running the same space station in the mirror universe but as a singular representative of her planet's position in the oppressive interplanetary collaboration, lording her power over Federation indentured slave labourers as an Intendant.

Why is this so effective?

The audience doesn't totally hate Mirror Universe Kira, because we see that even in this universe, she is revealed to have some doubts about what is going on and the collaboration she is an active participant in once she is pressed further, and her emotional stability is obviously in question; She copes primarily through lashing out at others and engaging in overly-personal manipulative behaviour.

She is unstable in her position, and we get a sense eventually that she isn't as happy with the situation as it first seems. She believes that collaborating is her best chance to spare her people the worst of it, even if it means subjugating others, and this appears to be a root cause of much of her personal instability.

Thus, she retains some critical traits from her main universe counterpart, we recognise this as being the same character at heart, who made very different choices (choices which appropriately mirror her decisions in the primary universe).

She retains her love for her people, and we find out that her motivation in both universes is actually the same: She wants to keep her people safe. In the main universe, she did this by fighting against her oppressors. In the mirror universe, she attempted to do this by joining her oppressors.

So, there you go!

Even though Mirror Kira is awful, we don't hate her. Because we can see where her outwardly evil actions and harmful behaviours have a basis, deep down, that is rooted in a trait which makes us like the main universe Kira: She's trying to do good for her people in both universes.

In the Mirror Universe, this took a terrible path, and her behaviour and actions are oppressive and evil; She is still willing to go along with it in the Mirror Universe. The trait reversal is still very much present. She is still a "bad guy" in the Mirror Universe, very much so.

But we can still recognise some critical key traits from the main universe Kira in her, so we don't start to see Mirror Kira as another character entirely, we don't experience any disconnect there despite the extreme differences in their behaviour and thought processes...

And as a result, we can believe that this is really a Mirror Universe.

We don't have to like Mirror Kira. In fact, we're encouraged not to. We just have to accept her as a mirror universe counterpart to her character in the primary universe.

And retaining those core traits, as differently as they manifest in the mirror universe, is a great way to make Mirror Kira more interesting and familiar to us as an audience--

--Because we can see that yeah, this is the same person. Just different.

Comparing DS9 Mirror Universe to Shattered Glass

Compare this DS9 Mirror Universe example to a lot of the currently available Shattered Glass media, and how the characters are "trait reversed" in many of these stories.

Do you feel you can see any of the "liked traits" of the original universe characters present, in any way or to any degree, in the SG counterparts?

If so, in what situations? How did these liked traits come out, and how did it affect their decision making, if it did at all? Was this engaging? Did it help you recognise the character as more relatable to their original universe counterpart, or make them more definitively recognisable as being a mirrored version of the more familiar main universe version of the character?

If not, how might retaining certain liked traits help provide some character depth or improve recognisability of the SG version of the character? What are ways in which the SG character might become less "flat" feeling or more rounded out by the inclusion of some element of a likable trait or two from their original universe counterpart? What are some ways an SG character could retain some recognisable likable traits while still being suitably evil?

Just some questions to consider!

I think one of the main reasons why a lot of people struggle to get into the Shattered Glass media, despite the great concept behind all of it, is that the trait swap is just too much of a 100% trait swap, and we don't really get to see any recognisable traits underlying any of their actions, behaviours, or thought processes in the SG universe.

Of course, this is just my assessment of things; I hope this was an interesting read for you, and I'm sorry it took me a few days to get the time to type it all out! <3

[cinnamonest]

Albedo idol girl darling thoughts M A N I F E S T E D

----------

Well, to be entirely honest, he thinks the whole idol thing is a little dumb.

For someone like him, at least. He's a PhD student in his final semester, lots of work to be done and all that. So, you know, he's a responsible, accomplished adult. Not the kind of person who gets into "that stuff," as he calls it in his head.

Nor does he even know how he encountered it... He just takes the occasional break from work to mindlessly open whatever app first pops into his vision and scroll through the feed. He's never watched anything like it in his life, so he's not exactly sure why he gets recommended some idol girl thing, and even less sure why he taps it without really thinking. Probably one of those videos that gets recommended to everyone. Well, can't be that, it doesn't have that many views... Probably loosely connected to some video game he's searched before or something. He's familiar with idols and what they are, and the subculture surrounding them, but he's never really cared about it.

Honestly, it's kinda pathetic that a bunch of grown adult men get so obsessed over these girls, he thinks as he watches. He's seen the type. Lonely, asocial dudes, most definitely virgins whose only female attention in their entire life is their mother, well into adulthood with no real social group to speak of.

...Not that he's much better off, but he hasn't quite sunk down to their level. The only reason he doesn't talk to people much is because they're busy, and he's even busier. He managed to make a few friends in undergrad years. Well, study partners who mooched off his notes since he was one of the top students, but same idea. They were people he spoke to more than once, which is what constitutes a friend, right? And for the record, one time in high school a girl in his class said she liked his hair. He hasn't changed the way he wears it since. Whenever he's sad, he thinks about that compliment from 10+ years ago, and it makes him feel a little better. But now, he's constantly slammed with work and research.

And his acquaintances are also all busy. He sees notifications every now and then from social media he never checks. Everyone is getting married at this stage in life, both friends and even other PhD students in his department. Not that he's ever been invited to a wedding, he just overhears a lot of conversations, sees notifications of posts. And he will too, eventually. He just has to finish up his degree, and then... Meet a girl. Well, that's actually the second step, step one would be finding out how to go about meeting a girl. He's... Never done it before. Probably does not happen sitting in the research lab at 11:30 pm on YouTube. He's talked to one of the other PhD students who's a girl before. And only stutters sometimes. He was even able to look her in the face while he talked to her once. That's a good start.

Ok, so maybe he is a little bit pathetic, but not as bad as... These guys. Reading the comments of the video actually make him feel a little better about himself, because frankly, they're kinda wild. The worship and fawning over girls is one thing, but they even have timestamps referring to various members like "she's super cute here!" Or "you can kinda see her thigh at 3:12!" Etc etc. Yeesh, creepy. And they get into comment fights over who is the best member, as if it even matters. It's fascinating in a human-social-experiment sort of way, the manifestation of a subculture and how humans interact with each other. On and on it goes, hundreds of commenters. He pays more attention to the comments than the actual video, but the song is kinda catchy in that annoying sort of way, and the girls are cute, just kinda... The typical thing he'd expect from idol groups. But the building will close soon, so he taps back to home screen and swipes the app closed.

Unfortunately, the algorithm remembers.

And he's not certain why he clicks the next one either, the following day. The lunch breaks he takes are usually pretty rushed. Not that he has specific class times at his level of academia, but he likes to get his work done. He intentionally eats either a bit later or earlier than the lunch crowd to avoid crowds and interactions. Finds a nice secluded little table tucked away. So when he opens it back up, what do you know, several more videos get recommended. It's absent minded when he taps on one, the kind of numb-brained entertainment every modern person indulges in, videos you wouldn't really be interested in but just watch because they're there.

Ok, this is really creepy. These dudes have made compilation videos of close ups of each specific girl. It's the same group as the video he saw before, same little lewd costumes. Admittedly the girls are kinda cute. He can kinda understand the appeal. But he's not like those guys, he would never become like, obsessed with them.

The song is actually really catchy. The kind of mindlessly addictive, repetitive pop music that's the same four chords over and over, each song is so similar you can't really tell them apart, but it gets stuck in your head anyway. This group has... nine members. Who needs that many singers in one group? It's not like a band or anything, they all just sing and do their little choreography. Guess that's a form of talent, even though he doesn't really get it.

Some of the groups he sees in recommended videos are cute and wholesome, and while this group is cute too, there's a very... Blatantly intentional lewdness to their poses and costumes. A hypersexualized sort of cuteness. Clearly marketed at lonely losers who have nothing better to do with their time than obsess over a girl who will never even know they exist.

He taps another video.

So many compilations, yikes. He has to give the guys credit, they're insanely loyal to the individual member that they decide to fixate on. Oh, and they even make official figurines and posters for these girls, that's... Something.

And a few days later he can kinda recognize the girls. They have color themes, you know, identical costumes except each girl's is a different color. This lead one is red, this main backup is blue, etc etc. Lots of bright colors. Kinda hurts his eyes to be honest.

And he's seen compilations of every girl except... The pink one. The pink one is always kinda off to the side. Well, these groups do have their favoritism, there's apparently one or two lead singers in all of the major idol groups, and the rest are basically backups and dancers. Still, a lot of dudes get super devoted to the non-main girls. So yeah, he's never seen a compilation for the pink one... He can't always exactly remember which one is which but now he's seen enough to know the other girls' names. He's not sure what hers is though. So he googles it and gets the name.

Wonder why she doesn't have as many videos...? Oh, it's because she's the newest member. Only been around a few months. There's... A whole board dedicated to the group, which he's getting this information from. Wow, pathetic. What kind of person spends their free time browsing a forum for an idol group? Well, he's just doing it to find information, not for fun or anything. He was just curious. Now he knows and he can forget about it and never look at anything related to them again... after he types her name and group name into the YouTube search bar and checks the results out, that is.

Oh, so they do have some compilations for her, just not many. "(Name) thigh compilation." Fuck, these people have no limits to how creepy and pathetic they can get, he thinks... as he watches the video. Ok, admittedly there are some good thigh shots there. There's a comment. "At 4:26 you can see her panties." Pathetic. They're not wrong though. Just to be sure, you see, he tapped the timestamp, and you can, in fact, see them. Stripes. Cute.

But he still has to do his work. Can't get too invested in watching mindless videos all day. He's got a thesis to work on.

That makes him curious, though, he thinks as he goes about his research. Do these girls go to school? Do they like, skip college, or do they join some kind of performing arts school or...? So he googles it. He can remember the pink one's name now, so he just finds her Wikipedia page. Oh, so she joined right out of high school and has been in various groups ever since.

Wait, various groups? So she has more groups she's been in? What are those? Before he typed her name into the search along with the group name, but if he just searches her name he gets... A lot more content from earlier years. Huh. Didn't know some of them did group-hopping like that.

Still, no education. Must be all smiles and body and no brains. Guess that's all you really need. Yeah, looking at that whole act they do... All giggly and childish and lewd... She's probably not too bright. At least she's pretty and sings nice. And the thighs are rather good. Smooth looking. They have a sort of jiggle when she jumps up and down on stage. The thigh highs they make those girls wear have that nice little dip where the skin is compressed by the fabric. Like... right there at that closeup. He takes a screenshot.

It's readily available, he's already seen the video and knows the best parts, whereas searching for porn would take time. The sooner he can get the daily stress relief out of the way the sooner he can work on his thesis. So this way is faster. That's why he's jerking off to the thigh video and not taking the time to look for porn. Plus, it makes him cum faster. Which it probably shouldn't since it's just thighs, but... Probably has something to do with the tease of it all maybe. That makes sense.

Or maybe it's that cute little giggle he can hear at some parts. She smiles and jumps and spins and laughs.

...It makes him wonder what she'd look like crying. Scared. Whimpering. Covered in bruises and bite marks. The contrast between that state and the one on the screen. The process and the things he could do to get her from one to the other. Yeah, he realizes, it's that thought, rather than the happy giggling on video or tease aspect, that makes him cum.

He's aware that his... tastes... are a little on the fucked up side, but hey, there's plenty of bastards out there far worse than him.

One day he discovers she has social media platforms. He... Doesn't really have any. He doesn't have Twitter or Instagram or any of that but... He downloads the app and makes an account for each. Just to follow her. Ooh, they even have the option to get a notification every time she posts... That's good. Otherwise he might check too frequently. He sets a special sound effect for notifications for her socials. The first few times, you see, he would get super excited when his phone went off, only to be disappointed when it was just a work email. Thus, he made the separate sounds.

He wouldn't say he has a favorite, that sounds really cringey you know? He just... Likes her more than the others. ...Dammit, that's what a favorite is. Ok, maybe he has a favorite, that's not that bad. He's not obsessed. He hasn't bought any merchandise at all or anything, especially not member-specific merchandise. Which they do have, because he visited the store page for a while and spent all his willpower physically restraining himself from buying something. It's not that he's biased, he just thinks she's objectively better than the rest of the group. Which can be backed up with evidence, anyone with eyes could tell by watching the performances.

As to what specifically draws him to her... he's not certain, to be honest. Maybe it's because she's the least appreciated out of the group, new and all. The less popular one. Or maybe her personality... She seems so sweet, even though he knows it's probably just an act for the fans. Or maybe just those thighs. That's also a valid possibility.

He cracks and buys some of the merchandise. Only about $300 worth. But honestly, he gets more invested into just printing out pictures of you. Pasting them onto the wall above his desktop. It keeps him going when the nights are hard.

But he refrains from ever commenting on anything. Some of these losers are just... so embarrassing, he can't stomach the thought of being associated, even if it's just an anonymous comment online. It's still pretty... Distasteful. He still browses the boards every day. You're his lock screen now. And home screen. And also your solo is his ringtone. He only sets his phone on sound when he's alone at home, though, when he's at work he puts it on vibrate. He... doesn't want anyone hearing that. No offense. He has some appropriate amount of shame, unlike the other bastards.

And the girls probably know that most of their fans are these kind of loser men, right? She'd probably be surprised someone nearly graduating with a chemistry doctorate is sitting around watching these dumb videos. Is that more or less pathetic? He thinks less, hopefully.

In fact, the other fans kind of irritate him. They're really cringy and annoying and it gives him secondhand embarrassment. And something... Deeper. Something about seeing the comments upsets him on a visceral level. It's gross. Sure, he's grateful for the dudes who sit around and make a list of timestamps for upskirt shots and the like, but... It kinda bothers him, feeling like there's some other dude out there sitting around, watching these long videos with his gross eyes and recording the times of shots that get him off. It feels gross. But more like... A violation against you. Sure, your group is very blatantly sexualized and intentionally risque in clothing but... Still, it feels wrong for someone to go through and get to see all of that.

Well, someone else. It's ok for him, since he's not a gross degenerate like the rest of them. He does genuinely see himself as... Above them. You know how like, back in the day, how the nobles used to sit around and watch plays from the far back while the peasants gathered around the stage? It's like that. He's not a gross loser or a NEET or anything like that. He's got a life. Well... Not a social life, but he's doing better than them, at least he has a degree, and soon a higher degree, and a job. He has a lot of things they don't. Basic hygiene. Student loan debt. And uh... Well, he's probably more pleasant to interact with, at least he's not gonna be frothing at the mouth like an animal if he saw you in real life. He would certainly freeze up, but that's preferable, isn't it?

And one day there's a video circulating in the idol community - not that he's a part of it or anything, he just keeps getting the dumb videos and watching them for mindless entertainment - where some girl group had an attempted kidnapping. Not her group, but some other group. The video has gone viral. Some dude tried to rush the stage and pull one of the girls away. Apparently the cops found he had an obsession with her.

What an idiot. If you're gonna kidnap someone, put some effort in, jeez. It's not hard to figure out how to do it right.

If that were him, he wouldn't be that stupid, he'd just look for an interval where she's alone. They have those solo or breakout group songs where some of the girls are backstage, just get her then. Memorize the concert schedule, wear something over your face, chloroform her, and stuff her into something and walk right out. Easy.

....

He catches himself in the thought and realizes that might have been a bit creepy, but he was just thinking in terms of hypotheticals. If he was the kind of crazy to do that, that's what he'd do, that's all.

He's always enjoyed entertaining strategic thoughts, really. He's had a couple fantasies about how he would commit murders of this or that person before, and he's never murdered anyone, so thoughts don't lead to actions. He just... Really doesn't like those people, and the fantasies help him... Deal with it. He just likes to strategize about methods, and how he'd get away with it... Stuff like that. Actually, he's convinced it's a very normal thing, but no one wants to admit it. Everyone has detailed murder fantasies every now and then.

Which is why this is no different. He's just strategizing because it's fun. He has no intentions of doing anything for real. He just plans out the details like a game. And tells himself to just never think about it again.

Until one specific night that he's staring down at his screen. Lying in bed. He should be asleep, he needs to be up early tomorrow but... He's just checking to be sure he's reading this correctly. You're coming to his town? He wouldn't think so, since it's not too big, just your average college town. But still, you'll be right here, right in his general vicinity, not far away at all.

Not that he'd ever actually go to such an event. No way. He hates crowds with a passion. He hates loud environments even more. A concert is like his worst nightmare. Besides, knowing the general audience of your group, it'll be a bunch of sweaty NEET dudes who haven't showered in a month and haven't crawled out of their house in even longer. No thank you.

But.

That's when the thought pops back up. It's been a few months since that night he had that strategizing fantasy, and, well, he tried to forget it but... It kinda lingered in the back of his mind. And now it's back in full force.

He shrugs the idea off. It's crazy. He'd never actually do something like that. It was just a fantasy.

...But he could get away with it if he wanted to.

He's not scared or anything, no, he's confident in his strategizing. He knows he could. Totally. It's foolproof. There's no need to carry it out to know that, besides, what would he even do with you?

Well, he's pretty certain he does know what he would do with you. He's watched that thigh video maybe a hundred times now. And even if he won't admit it, he's jerked off to the exact same fantasy for like, several months.

He doesn't really... Think about it. Just kind of slips into subconscious actions. Autopilot. One click and well, there goes $400 on an amp case. His eyes gaze over the dimensions... And then there's your height on the Wikipedia page... Yeah... That should work. He gets it sent to the address a few doors down just in case, and snatches it from in front of their door, but he finds himself backpedaling. What the hell is he doing? He would never actually go through with this, what a waste of money... But he still opens it. Sets it beside his front door. Tests the wheels to make sure they work.

He knows how to make chloroform. He doesn't need YouTube tutorials (unlike a certain someone else), he knows exactly how to do it, even alternate methods besides the usual acetone and bleach combination - so long as you end up with the same chemical makeup, it's all the same. He just goes with the traditional way though... Doesn't really know why he does it. Just mutters as he stares down at the concoction wondering why he wasted his time... But he pauses before pouring it down the sink, and instead puts it in a container and keeps it on the counter. Your weight is on Wikipedia too. Taking into account your height and weight you would need about... Yeah, a very specific amount to knock you out for about three hours.

The concert day draws closer and closer and he can't sleep very well. His mind keeps running what-ifs. Just, hypothetically, what if he did go through with it? What then? What would he do long term? How would that all work out?

Well, you'd probably hate him for a while, right? But that changes. Stockholm syndrome sets in. He would know, he had to take Psych 101 back in undergrad, and the professor talked about it for a full 10 minutes, so he's basically an expert. It's been like, 7 years since then, but he still kinda remembers it. He remembers that it's supposed to set in at about 2 weeks, and solidify with time. If the captor is nice, that is, which he totally would be. ...Maybe not in bed, but most of the time. He would be nice to you, and you would start to like him. Besides, they said Stockholm syndrome set in faster if the abductor has good qualities, so, he could also reason with you, remind you that you're lucky you got abducted by someone with money - or, well, he will have money once he graduates! - and isn't some ugly gross slob. He's clean and neat. Sorta... He'll clean up all those dishes that have been sitting there a few days now, pick up all those clothes off the floor... Ok, now he's clean and neat. And, uh, what else would girls care about... He's smart. He's pretty sure he can say that with confidence, if nothing else.

Ok, so, it would work. He could... Keep you kinda... Tied up here... If you started complying within that two week period, he could get you up and walking before atrophy set in. You'd probably have to get used to the lifestyle... Right now he's kinda on a budget, but, he can get you things to keep you occupied... And so, yeah, it could work. It's simple, just keep you with him and isolated for a few weeks and uh, you'll transform into some kind of hypersexual obedient cumslut and never want to leave. That's... How Stockholm syndrome works right? Maybe he should have paid more attention in that class... Oh well. He never liked psychology.

So the day draws nearer and nearer and he starts really getting into the right... Headspace. It's a sort of manic state that he's in. Operating without really thinking, all inhibitions removed by simply refusing to think about it. He lets the subconscious take over and do all these little things to prepare, until finally that day is tomorrow. And then he kinda snaps back to full awareness and questions, again, what the hell is he doing? He can't just... Kidnap a person! Normal people don't do that... It's illegal, he'll get caught, it'll ruin his life and....

What life does he really have to ruin?

That's the thought that sort of solidifies the decision. He realizes why he's even on this path in the first place. Sure he's got a lot of academic accomplishments, but his life is... Rather empty. He doesn't really have anyone. Maybe that's why he's slowly become... Consumed by this obsession that yes, he's now willing to admit to himself is indeed an obsession. It's kinda slowly taken over his everyday life without him even noticing it was happening. He's... Kinda miserable. And very lonely. And... If nothing else... This one girl makes him feel kinda happy.

... Which is why he's going to go through with it.

And he slips back into autopilot, ends up standing outside the building. It's every bit as loud and headache-inducing as he knew it would be. Ugh. He can't wait to get out of here. If this doesn't work, well, he'll be forced to turn around. The plan is a very simple one, actually... Act like he's supposed to be there. And he does. Dresses in all black like stage technicians do, dragging his big amp case behind him, holding a bunch of cords from random things he grabbed in his house, and tries not to look nervous, keeps a neutral face and walks straight forward and... He slides right in. The security guards off to the side don't even bat an eye.

And then he has a moment of "well, I didn't expect to get this far." Pauses. So uh... what now? Well, probably should find you first. He memorized the setlist, so he knows when you'll be off... And alone. Right now there should be three of the girls backstage. It's pretty easy to find where you are, but he's paranoid that the amp case is too loud as he's dragging it around. It's necessary, though. And then, finally, he stumbles upon the room... Opens the door, half expecting to be immediately stopped, but... He can just kinda waltz right in here, some open backroom, a person here or there coming through, a lady that looks like a makeup artist doing something over there, and an actual, real tech guy over there... And over to the far back corner... Oh. That's you. He takes a moment to revel in the sight, unable to move or even breathe, and has to mentally prepare himself before moving forward. He's... Not sure exactly what to do at this point... It's kind of perfect, to be honest, there's no one around you, and you're right out of sight, where he could turn the corner and not be seen. But he's not sure how to... Approach? He thinks about it as he walks, but again, autopilot is on in his brain and he's just numbly walking forward. Does he just... Keep walking until he's right at you and just... Or...?

And a miracle happens. You hear someone coming and you turn and smile and ask are you the tech guy here to fix my mic? You point to the little microphone attached to your face. They told you someone would be coming to fix it before your next song. You presume that's him, since he's dressed in all black like all the other stage techs. He hesitates a moment, wide eyed, but then nods. Yeah, that's him, he says. His voice cracks when he says it. It's kinda cute.

You smile at him. It's wide and sweet and genuine and it almost makes him pass out on the spot. He has to swallow for a second before continuing.

But, uh, he can't do it right here he says, because fiddling with it could disrupt the uh, frequencies, cause that really shrill sound you hear sometimes. So, um, come over this way a sec, over in this dark corner of the studio conveniently out of the view of all people and security cameras. You don't know how any of that stuff works, so you trust him, it's his job after all. So you get up and straighten your little skirt out - wow those are even more revealing in person - and walk over it the dark corner where he's waiting and... it's the last thing you remember.

He does a quick look left and right to ensure no one saw you collapse in his arms, but sure enough, this area is empty. You fit into the amp case with ease. Just curl your body up and pop the lid on. Wait, can you... breathe in there? Well, it won't take long to get outside. He just rolls the case right out the door, right past the guards again, and no one stops him, no one suspects a thing. Puts the case in the backseat, opens the lid, does a quick check go make sure you're breathing alright. So he props it open by keeping a book in between the case and lid as he drives home.

Once he does get home, he just does the same thing he did before - close the lid, roll you into the elevator and up the stairs and into his place, looking back over his shoulder over and over. And once he gets you inside he just kinda... falls to his knees. Shivering. Disbelief. Because holy shit he actually did it. He actually went through with it and it worked. He sits there and stares at the case and - oh, fuck, gotta open it again for you to breathe. Actually, he might as well... take you out... when he first shoved you in, he was so high on adrenaline he didn't really process any of it, but now... he almost can't bring himself to take you out. That means he has to, like, touch you. He's gotta take a moment to mentally prepare for that. So he does. Deep breaths. And finally, with trembling hands, pulls you out, carries you on shakey legs over to the bed and sets you down.

You know, you're a lot... Smaller... Than you looked on screen. Sure, he knew your height and weight but... somehow you still seem so much smaller than he expected. That's good. Will make everything a lot easier, since you're easier to restrain. And your thighs. They're... so soft. This is so much better than the video. They're so... fleshy and warm in person. Perfect. And wow, that skirt thing is... scratchy. Actually, up close, that whole outfit thing you wear looks super uncomfortable. It probably is. ...Well, guess he now has a reason to take it off.

The rest of your skin is... also fleshy and soft. Warm. Your face... chest... stomach... everything. Your tits are really cute, too. It occurs to him that all those rabid commenters on all those boards and videos would probably kill to be him right now, pinching and squeezing at your nipples. He's seeing something they will never see. It gives him an ego boost, to be honest, makes him feel proud to get a sort of one-up on them. He gets you naked, but refrains from pulling your legs apart. He probably... wouldn't be able to control himself, and he's aiming for some self-control right now.

So he waits. Breathes deep. Restrains himself with every ounce of willpower he has. It occurs to him he has no fucking clue what he's gonna say to you. Unfortunately, that thought occurs to him as you're starting to twitch and mumble, so, he doesn't have too much time to think. Oh, fuck, you're not restrained... well, he bought some duct tape and handcuffs and blindfolds off of amazon too, so he quickly puts those in place as you're starting to wake up, and then finally, you come to full consciousness -- that telltale jerking at the restraints, the muffled little cry of confusion and fear. It's kinda hot to be honest. Well, fuck, very hot actually. You're so scared. It gives him a rush of power. Said rush goes straight to his dick.

He's got a mixed twist of guilt and arousal at the whole thing, but... he's still trying to have some self control... and if you start begging and pleading and crying, it would be too much. Oh, no, not that it would be too much in terms of guilt, no no, just that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from fucking you if he sees you cry. So he leaves the restraints on for now, so he can't see your face emote.

Then, he does something really, really mean. He knows it's cruel, honestly, it's just... so cute. What that is, is that he does nothing. Says nothing. He goes about his work, typing away, knowing you can hear, but doesn't say a word. He knows you're awake, he just wants to see how long you can sit there scared out of your mind before you finally make another noise to draw his attention. Right now, he thinks, you're probably debating, you're probably questioning whether you should keep quiet and make him think you're still out or make a noise... but eventually you will. He can see you trembling. You're probably thinking so many horrible things right now, wondering what will happen, what he'll do to you... it fills him with a sort of sadistic glee that overrides the guilt it comes along with. Sure, the guilt is there, but fuck, he could almost cum just watching you shiver, and that's more important.

And you finally make a noise. A little whimper. He stops typing, and swears he sees you tense when he does. And when he stands up, walks over to you (making sure to stomp hard and walk slow for extra effect, watching the way you curl in on yourself with each step he takes), and stops right in front of you. Finally, tells you not to scream. He's gonna give you water, ok? You nod. And, surprisingly, you don't make any move to scream or anything, you let him give it to you. You don't move a muscle besides your shaking and sucking the straw and swallowing the water. You must be really scared of him. He knows that's technically not what he should want, but... it feels nice.

He spent that time of silence coming up with what to say to you. He says that for now, you're going to stay right here. Don't ask questions. Don't make any attempt to escape. If you really need something, tap the headboard until he hears. Understand?

You're... Surprisingly receptive. You give a twitchy smile and stammer out an o-okay. He's almost pleased, but quickly realizes what you're doing.

You've been trained for this, you see. This kind of thing is attempted rather frequently in the industry. You received training for this situation - comply, don't fight, prioritize your safety, because in 99% of these cases, the missing idol is found and recovered within 48 hours. So you do what you were told to do -- smile, pretend you're ok with it, don't do anything to anger your captor.

He knows that too. He doesn't do much in that 48 hours, in fact, he even tells you he's waiting to "see what happens." He knows he can't control himself very well, so he stays in his living room for the most part and works on research, it might be pointless if he's in jail a few hours from now, but oh well. Sleeps on his couch. He offers to feed you, but you say you don't feel good. He understands.

See, in his mind, if he gets to fuck you once or twice and then be hauled off to prison and never touch you again, well, that would be actual, literal torture, so much so that never fucking you at all would be more bearable. So that's why he forces himself to wait now. He feels like he can't breathe, he's so nervous, like any moment police are going to come knocking on his door. Every little sound makes him jump. He can't sleep.

But 48 hours pass and... nothing happens.

He breathes a bit easier. Finally dares to go online, which he's been avoiding, and check on your situation... Oh, wow, social media has exploded over your disappearance. But... They have no leads. Nothing. Says she basically vanished out of thin air. Situation is, quote, "looking hopeless." Huh. He did an even better job than he thought he did. There's videos from loved ones begging the captor to let the girl go, offering to give him money even. A lot of money. But, you're more valuable than any monetary measurements could ever conceive. And he's happy. It really worked out. Everything went right, and for once, he has something that really, really makes him happy.

Likewise, the 48 hours are even more torturous for you. You start out telling yourself it'll be fine. Hopeful. But that hope in your chest slowly, gradually dies out as you realize you've hit the 48-hour mark. Even for a normal missing person, you've always heard that if they don't find them within 48 hours... the chances of ever finding them goes down significantly. But, that's because they're usually dead, right? And this guy won't kill you, so, your chances are better, right...?

He comes back after that 48 hours and finally, for the first time since you woke up, crawls onto the bed, touches you, grabs your hips with his hands. Tells you that, well, they haven't found anything yet and it looks like they aren't going to, so you're officially his now, and he's no longer worried. You should accept it. It'll make things easier for both of you if you do. You'll get adjusted in no time, you'll see.

Unsurprisingly, you're a bit less compliant than you were when you had hope. You whimper and and struggle, but it's really weak. So much so it's cute. You ask who he is. No one important, he says. Just... A fan of yours. You can hear clothes shuffling. He doesn't waste time, he's already waited two whole days suffering, so he gets his dick in you pretty quickly. Manages to make you cum. It horrifies you and kinda surprises him too to be honest. You must kinda like pain, huh. Well, that works out well.

As time goes on, what hope you had left dies completely. Weeks pass. You realize they're not coming for you. In an attempt to get you to accept it, he even shows you that you've been replaced. They're rather quick to fix the absence. They have a new girl in your spot by the end of the month. He quickly realizes maybe he shouldn't have told you, from the way your face falls and you get all hysterical. Sorry. It's the way the industry is. Don't worry. She's not even half as cute as you.

He shows you the announcement when they close the investigation, too. This also earns a rather hysterical response, but he thinks it's important you see it, so you can finally come to terms with your fate, the way things were always meant to turn out. He gets a bit frustrated. Just accept it. It's not that hard. The sooner you do, the happier you'll be. It's for your own good that you accept it.

And you do. Try as you might. You begin to make conversation. He's the only source of interaction you have. You learn about him and his life. You become invested in it. You start to cum more easily. When he's sitting on the opposite side of the bed typing away, you find yourself slowly wiggling your way over and pressing yourself against the warmth, and he certainly doesn't mind. You ask him about his research just to hear a voice talk.

And sometimes you sing. It's absent minded, soft and quiet, when you have nothing else to do. He likes that a lot. You get sweeter. Nicer. Fight less. It does take a bit longer than two weeks to set in fully. But it does in the end.

He can't be with you 24/7, as much as he would like to be, so sometimes he has to tell you to just hang on a little while. Be good and sit still for just a bit. He'll be back soon. Just give him an hour. You're just really distracting and, well, his progress report is due tomorrow morning.

And you keep getting upset over the new member, bring it up a lot... It must have really bothered you, huh. Well, don't feel bad about being replaced. To him, nothing could ever replace you... you're still his favorite.

[malarki]

Harry Potter FanFiction I greatly enjoy (it’s just tomarry and sevitus)

Fair warning, I’m not good at describing stuff, and most of these are not complete (yet) but if you have similar tastes as I do then you’ll definitely like these stories.

Meddling of a Mischief Maker - by Athy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5380535/chapters/12427268

I enjoy this fic because it shows a more human Voldemort with him still being an asshole as per usual. They do a good job of having Voldemort believably change into a not crazy murderous bastard haha. It also has Sirius interacting with Voldemort and for some reason I find those scenes hilarious in any fic I read.

“Harry's being a horcrux is a bit reworked here in this AU Story set during the summer after 5th year. A Mischief Maker intervenes in the Ministry during Voldemort and Dumbledore's duel, changing the course history. MorallyGrey!Dumbledore, Sirius, Restored Souls, HP/TR”

Draw Me After You (Let Us Run) - by ToAStranger @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22327684/chapters/53334382

This story is a delight, it’s tone is very good and they do a great job of writing in the characters ‘voices’ for their pov’s. I especially like the posh way Voldemort talks and acts. This story is also hilarious on top of just being a very good slowburn, AND it has Sirius, which as you might have guessed, I love dearly. They also don’t bash any of the characters, and instead make them well rounded but flawed individuals, which I really appreciate.

“Harry Potter,” comes the soft, sibilant hiss of a voice he has heard in his dreams, in his nightmares, in his waking hours for years.

Slowly, carefully, Harry twists over and pushes up onto his hands and knees. He stays there, short breath fogging in front of his face, and his pursuer lets him. Harry has no doubt of that; he’s being allowed this respite. This small moment to catch his bearings, heart pounding in his ears, blood singing.

“It seems I have finally caught you.”

Consuming Shadows - by Child_OTKW @childotkw

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040089/chapters/16011331

I’ve read two of childOTKW’s fics and both of them are fantastically written and attention grabbing stories. This one was the first one I read, and it has a very interesting take on lily Potter (one which I really enjoy) and the plot can leave you on the edge of your seat at times. The characterization is great, and the process of Harry and Tom getting to know each other is done very well.

“His attention skipped passed the students and moved to the politicians’ pavilion. His gaze locked with crimson, and he nearly faltered under the sheer hunger in those eyes.

It unnerved him how fixated the man was on his dirtied, exhausted figure.

But what troubled him more was the slight smirk he could make out on the man’s lips. It was almost pleased.

On the night of the attack, Lily managed to escape with her infant son, but at the cost of her husband’s life. Distraught and distrusting of her friends, she fled to France with Harry, to raise him away from the corruption in Britain and the rising influence of the Dark Lord. She trains him to the best of her abilities, shaping him into a dangerous, intelligent and powerful wizard.

But when Britain re-establishes the Triwizard Tournament, and Harry is forced to return to his once-home, he finds himself questioning whether he really wants to kill the Dark Lord. Voldemort finds an unexpected challenge in the child, and as his intrigue and amusement grows, so too does the desire to possess the spark in those defiant green eyes.”

A story that is kind of similar but not really: The Train to Nowhere

You Belong To Me (I Belong To You) - by child_OTKW

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11270490/chapters/25203408

This is a story inspired by the manwha ‘At The End Of The Road’ by Haribo. A comic I read before reading this, which is very good I recommend it. They do not take the exact plot from the comic though, obviously changing significant details for it to work properly as a Tomarry Fic, but one main thing stays the same, which is that this is a body swap. Honestly I really enjoy childOTKW’s works, and this is no exception. The characterization is wonderful as always, and Harry is Fantastic. Plus I’ve always been a fan of time travel fics. (Fair warning this is another slow burn and Harry centric)

“What I find absolutely fascinating,” Riddle said, stalking closer, “is you.” He marched forward, backing Harry up until he was pinned to the cool wall of the common room. “Do you know why?”

“No. And I’ll be honest here, Riddle, I don’t particularly care.”

The taller boy grinned at him, small yet infinitely pleased. “That. Right there.” One hand rose and brushed some of Harry’s fringe from his face. “Nathan Ciro was a spineless little boy too afraid of his own shadow to dare even glance in my direction. But you…”

He leaned closer, “You look at me like you want to stab me.”

“After an accident, Auror Harry Potter wakes up in the body of fourteen year old Nathan Ciro, a tormented Slytherin who recently tried to end his own life. Seeking answers to his strange predicament, Harry returns to Hogwarts, and causes quite the stir through staff and students - especially when they come to realise he is not the same boy as before.

He tries to avoid suspicion, but as his quest for the truth draws more and more attention to him, Harry begins to think that he might not like what he will discover.”

Some Bonus AU tomarry

A Thousand Paths Among The Stars - by Haplessshippo @haplesshippo

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12015060/chapters/27191238

This is a star trek au and it’s honestly my favorite tomarry au fic. Granted, I am a huge sci-fi fan. There’s also a bit of a twist at the end, or at least it surprised me, due to the way we usually expect tomarry plots to go.

“Harry Potter, newly appointed Captain of the Marauder and son of the famous Captain James Potter, was falling apart at the seams. His crew didn’t respect him, he was lost in the empty expanse of space, nightmares plagued his sleep, and his Commander deserved the Captain position more than he did. Good thing multiple attempts on his life and a vicious warlord after his head was all it took to turn it all around.

Alternatively, that space fic in which Harry Potter almost dies too many times, Tom Riddle slowly becomes the most smitten fool on the ship, and the rest of the crew are all just a bunch of assholes with popcorn watching the show. And exploding ships, don't forget the exploding ships.”

The Matchmaker - by TanninTele

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16507676/chapters/38664089

I am ALSO a huge true crime fan, and this story has a criminal that kinda reminds me of one that might appear in Hannibal (but with less murder). I enjoy the characterization, though tom is pretty tame in this compared to more cannon fics, considering he’s not the criminal and instead an investigator. Harry is also different from how people usually portray him, but I still like it.

“'The Matchmaker' is a serial abductor whose modus operandi consists of pairing two same-sex individuals together in a coffin, six feet underground - buried alive. He isn't a killer. He's a kidnapper with morals, and Detective Chief Inspector Tom Riddle finds himself obsessed with solving the case.

Unfortunately for Tom, the Matchmaker is just as intent on knowing him.”

And on to the Sevitus Stories

Far Beyond A Promise Kept - by oliversnape

https://archiveofourown.org/works/547431/chapters/974693

A classic, Harry stays with snape and unintentionally proves all his assumptions wrong and makes snape care about him. Both the stories have this aspect, but this one has snape a bit nicer from the get go. Probably because it takes place during the third book, so they’ve only known each other two years. It’s quite wholesome though, and I rather enjoy the progression of their relationship.

“Snape never wanted anyone to know of his promise to Dumbledore, but has realised that he can protect Potter much better by taking a less passive role in the boy's training. Actually liking Harry Potter has never been part of his plan. mentor/guardian.”

Crime And Punishment - by melolcatsi

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24102232/chapters/58018174

Snape and Harry have way more of a rocky start in this one, and Snape having to pick Harry up from the police station Really Doesn’t Help Snape’s opinion of him. This story very realistically shows the progression of their relationship, going from enemies to family, and near the ‘end’ (it’s not finished) it becomes very wholesome with Snape trying to help Harry with his mental and physical health after years of abuse/ neglect.

“Harry is accused of burglary. The Dursleys leave him to rot. Dumbledore sends Snape to remedy the situation. Harry finds himself in the care of an irate Snape. Not slash, gen-fic w/ focus on Sevitus relationship. Angst galore. Warnings: coarse and suggestive language, mentions of abuse/neglect. Un-betaed and un-Britpicked.”

[violetsoju]

whispers in the dark

akaashi keiji · fluff · 2.6k

summary: they say late night conversations bring out the raw and honest side of people. there's always new discoveries in these deep and intimate conversations, when the heart takes over the mind. what will you discover today?

a/n: i apologise in advance for the terrible wordplays made :'))) here's my piece for the the collab w my fellow lovely sea writers! do check them out for your daily doze of sweetness ♡

You wonder how long you’ve been staring at the microwave on the kitchen countertop.

It’s in the middle of the night, where the living should be asleep and the dead alive.

Well, technically speaking, you’re pretty much alive physically, but pretty much dead mentally. So it pretty much makes sense to why you’re awake at this hour.

The kitchen is dark, faint moonlight glow seeping into the dimly lit space. Your eyes have adjusted to the silhouette of the 10x10 kitchen, scanning the surroundings like a night vision camera, alas an out of focus one.

Clean and dry dishes stack against each other like jenga, astonishingly keeping its balance in place. Stacks of unopened letters flood the side of the dining table. Fresh laundry on the hanging rack has now turned into the breeding ground of bacteria and mould, calling for a re-wash.

They all scream to be attended to, but gravity has a stronger grip on you, and you give in to it spinelessly. The mess before your eyes are much more entertaining than the blinding laptop screen back in the mess of your room.

Something flickers in the corner of your eyes. You blink, and it’s gone. The usual weak hearted you would scare the shit out of yourself, scurrying back to the safe harbour of your blankets. Guess it’s one of those days where you just can’t give a damn about anything.

But your ears prick up at the shuffling noises that becomes more distinct with each passing second. You blink again, and this time, a black figure looms right before your eyes. It doesn’t disappear after a couple more blinks, and after what seems like a decade, your brain finally connects the dots and sends a signal to your motor systems.

A high-pitched scream screeches in the four walls of your small apartment.

“Fuck, you scared the shit out of me, Keiji.”

The black figure, aka Akaashi turns his head sideways slightly, showing his side profile that’s symmetrically perfect on both sides.

“I thought you were aware of me walking in. You were staring straight ahead.” He fumbles to find a mug amidst the pile of dishes on the dishrack in the dark.

You massage your temple with your thumb, heaving out a long sigh. “I was blanking out. Don’t have the energy to fixate on anything.”

“Not even me?”

“You’re an exception.”

The gentle smiles tugging two lips make the small space a tad little warmer.

A mug finally in hand, Akaashi stumbles onto the array of glass containers arranged neatly in the metal-rimmed organiser next. It’s as if his hands are his eyes, because he pops open the lid of the coffee container instantly, rich aromatic coffee beans swept in the air.

“Keiji, no.”

This time he turns fully to face you. “What?”

“No coffee.”

A spoonful of coffee beans finds its way into his mug. “Why not?”

“It’s bloody 3 in the morning. You’re not supposed to be drinking coffee at this hour.” You reason, nodding towards the time displayed on the microwave.

He peers towards your mug. “What are you drinking then?”

“Hot chocolate. With some marshmallows in it.” You scoop a now soaked marshmallow up to show him.

“Have your coffee in the morning. At a normal time.”

“It’s already morning. Just a few hours earlier than usual.” His eyes are on yours, but you don’t miss the way his hands sneakily reach out to the coffee grinder.

“Keiji.”

Akaashi chuckles at your drop in tone, knowing better than to push your buttons further, especially with your rationality and sanity tipping over the line at any time. “Fine,” he surrenders, hands up in the air, “Hot chocolate it is.”

He finds it cute how your sleep lidded eyes turn into sharp laser beams with a snap of fingers, and back into one that struggles to keep them open in the next.

With a few clinks here and there, a hot mug of hot chocolate topped with marshmallows sit in front of you, along with a boy who has, and owns your heart.

Akaashi’s dishevelled hair that sticks in all the wrong places reminds you of a certain friend of his. A fleece blanket drapes over his shoulders, making his frame smaller than usual. His black rimmed glasses sit securely on his nose bridge, thick lenses casting a shadow over his eyes, accentuating his outrageous eyebags even more. Fine facial hair worth several days of scruff peeps out under the absence of the sharp razors. You were about to ask if he lost the lip balm you gave him because of his slightly chapped lips, but maybe it was the shadows in the dark that were playing with your field of vision, creased lines seem to gradually etch into his forehead from hours of intense focus, his usual glow obscured by the heavy dark clouds drowning him a whole.

But the gentle warmth in his eyes that shimmered since day one still radiates like a cosy fireplace, as comforting as ever.

“What are you staring at?” You ask.

“You.” A short and concise answer.

The chilly air of late Autumn sinking its teeth into your skin is expelled by the human radiator across you. “What are you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking about when was the last time I’ve actually sat down like this together with you. Or when was the last time I’ve looked at you properly with no distractions.”

The both of you live under the same roof, just a door apart from each other, a call away from each other. But the never-ending workload and hectic week lined up with deadlines after deadlines has robbed away the basic and simple pleasures in life.

Simple pleasures like sharing a hot pot of coffee together before work every morning. Simple pleasures like snuggling against each other covered in warm blankets, looking out at the night sky that never seems to sleep, heads resting against each other. Simple pleasures like saying “good morning” or “good night” to each other, with a soft peck on the lips.

Working from home should mean more time spent together, at each other’s side. Using the time saved from ironing wrinkled work clothes and making oneself presentable in the early wee hours on turning the video filter on in video meeting software, slapping a blazer over comfy house clothes, making fresh home-cooked meals that warm the stomach. Maybe even slacking a little without guilt. It all sounds like the perfect plan.

But fairy tales aren’t real for a reason.

Work isn’t a spectacular ball where you dance the night away dressed in sequins and silk with ease. Bosses aren’t fairy godmothers who pick you up with grace and kindness when you fall, guiding you towards the right path.

In this world called reality, work is a bloodshed battlefield. Bosses are commanders that shove you into the crossfire without a second thought, where only their interests’ matter. Especially if circumstances were in their favour, only fools would let such opportunity go to waste.

The opportunity to benefit from the situation by exerting more demands and workload, where the concept of time is not in the equation. Where the concept of labour exploitation is foreign and unknown.

What is work-life balance?

“Now that you’re looking at me, how do I look?” You look at him in the eye.

He doesn’t hesitate. “You look as beautiful as ever.”

A huff sounds in the air. “You need a new eye prescription, Keiji. Because I know I look like shit.”

He shakes his head in retaliation, narrowing his eyes. “What about you? How do I look?”

“You look as charming as ever.” You don’t hesitate either.

“That calls for a date to the optometrist. Because I’m sure I look like a wreck now too.”

Your deadpan look earns a raised eyebrow in return, an invite to refute the statement made.

“And we’ll get matching frames?”

“If there’s suitable ones, why not.”

“And if I get those Hello Kitty ones with whiskers on the side?” You tease.

“If only you’ll wear them yourself.” He quips.

“I call for bright pink ones.”

“I call for leopard print ones.”

“The ribbon has to be sparkly, with bling studs on it.”

“Agreed.”

The silent staredown of nerves ends with grins that break into soft chuckles, fits of hiccupped laughter, fingers wiping away tears of laughter streaming down cheekbones that hurt.

It takes a moment for the both of you to calm down and have your breathings back to normal. And during that moment the cold reality unwelcomingly hits again, fatigue hanging in the air.

Akaashi drums his fingers on the warm mug. “How much longer till the end of this hell of a week?”

“A couple more extra posttests to go over, add them into the analysis, hope they’ll blend in well and pray that there’ll be no more last-minute additions thrown my way.” You sigh, swirling your spoon to fish up the soaked marshmallows that have sunken below.

His eyes widen in surprise. “Protests? What protest are you attending?”

“Posttests, Keiji. Posttests for this never-ending research I’m tied down with.” His eyes soften knowingly with understanding, offering a sad smile in condolence. “I’ll show my support for a protest if there is any mentally and in spirit, not physically at this state.”

“What about you? How much longer till you see the light at the end of the tunnel?” You roll your neck back, cracking it louder than you expected.

Akaashi runs his calculation with his fingers. “A couple more sketches to go through, around 10 chapters more, I think. And pray that there’s no last-minute changes thrown my way too.”

“Skechers? I didn’t know you guys were collaborating with the brand.”

“Drawing sketches, dear. Not the shoe brand.”

He smiles at your mumbled ‘oh’, sipping on your hot chocolate sheepishly in attempt to escape the embarrassment creeping up your neck.

“How many hours of sleep have you been getting recently?” It’s a question that’s genuine and a shot to avert focus somewhere else.

“I’m not sure either. Three? Or maybe two.” He rubs his sleep-lidded eyes, stifling a yawn.

“What the fuck, Keiji. I’m gonna appear at your workplace with a big wok in hand and smack your boss in the head. Hard.” You ball your fist threateningly.

He pushes his falling glasses up with a finger gracefully, the uncanny resemblance to a certain detective manga is scary yet amusing. “You can’t, there’s no one in the office now. I don’t know where my boss lives too.”

“This isn’t the time for rationality, Keiji.” You groan, rubbing your face with your palms in distraught.

He chuckles, stirring his mug of hot chocolate. “Someone has to be the rational one here. Plus, you’re not getting any more sleep than me either.”

“How do you know?” You peep through the gap of your fingers.

“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, there’s two pandas living in this apartment, instead of two humans.” He states matter-of-factly.

“Not zombified humans?”

“No, pandas it is.”

“Fine.” You give in, knowing it won’t go anywhere. “But before we plan on assassinating our bosses, we have to get our months’ worth of salary and bonus first.”

“Celery? There’s vegetables in your lab pantry as well? Don’t you hate celery?” He asks.

“Salary, like money that goes ka-ching ka-ching.” You rub your thumb and the tip of your index finger together, making a money gesture. “Not the awful vegetable.”

Akaashi rubs his neck bashfully, taking a small sip of hot chocolate.

“You need sleep, Keiji.” You sigh.

“I do, and so do you.” He sighs too.

The mini clouds formed by the steam evaporating from the hot mug of chocolate start to dissipate into the air, leaving a faint trail of vapor behind.

“How have you been staying up for the past few nights? Coffee aside.” You rest your chin on your palm.

He mirrors your action. “Those peach candy Tenma-san gave me are surprisingly good in keeping me awake. It tastes great too. Want some?”

“There’s bitch flavoured candies? How do they taste like?” Your eyes widen in curiosity, while his eyes widen in alarm.

“And who’s Tenma-san? You mean Udai-san?”

“Peach flavoured candies, like your favourite peach fruit.” He takes off his glasses to wipe off the steam fogging his lenses, a soft smile dotting his lips. “And yes, it’s Udai-san.”

“We both really need sleep.”

“Agreed.”

Your marshmallows have expanded twice its size now, soaking up more than half of the chocolatey goodness. “Speaking about sleep, how does sleeping in this Saturday sound like?”

“Amazing. Wonderful. Excellent.” You clasp your hands together, nodding happily.

“It’s a sleepover date then.”

A light laughter erupts in the kitchen. “Is it considered a date whenever it involves just the both of us?”

“As long as I have you by my side, it’s a date no matter what we do.” His fingers find its way to yours, grazing your knuckles tenderly.

Your fingers capture his, running your thumb against his soft skin. “I guess this sleepy state of you isn’t that bad either.”

“You mean this state of mine where I’m gradually losing my sanity?” His eyebrows arch up, unamused.

You hum in thought, a glint of mischief gleaming in your eyes. “Well, if it brings out the sappiness in you even more, I don’t see why not.”

“You know I’m a natural sap for you.”

“And I’m as huge as a sap for you too.”

If this were any normal day, the both of you would be a blushing mess at such honey coated words. Akaashi would be burning up furiously from his neck to the tip of his ears, coughing as he endures the loving punches thrown his way with a meek smile. Sometimes he would bury his flushed face in the crook of your neck, the best alternative he can find instead of digging a hole in the ground.

For Akaashi and you, the love language shared between the both of you aren’t words of affirmation centric. It was more of acts of service and quality time. Like going grocery shopping together, preparing a toothbrush with toothpaste ready on top of the sink, leaving little notes in each other’s doors, replacing new hand sanitisers and face masks in each other’s bags.

You know he’s there for you, and he knows you’re there for him. It’s a mutual understanding that lingers in the air, its quiet presence carrying the weight of more than thousands of unspoken words.

“You’re such a dork, Keiji.” You smile, shaking your head lightly.

“I’m not.” He pouts, tilting his head.

“You are.”

“I’m a pig, not a dog.”

It takes a few seconds for you to register Akaashi’s words, followed by a snort that earns a look of confusion from the boy across you.

“You’re the dorkiest pig out of all from your year then.”

It takes a few seconds for Akaashi to register your words, followed by a snort from him that earns more snorts from you.

“So, see you this Saturday?” He brings your knuckles to his lips, planting soft kisses on each one.

You can’t help but giggle at his actions. “Yeah, don’t be late. The dress code for the date is pjs.”

“Sounds good to me. Can’t wait.” He raises his mug up towards you, a toast to the upcoming date.

“Can’t wait.” You clink your mug with his, honouring the toast.

The now lukewarm chocolate tastes sweeter than usual.

“We seriously need to catch up after this.”

“Ketchup on omurice sounds good.”

“Catching up with omurice topped with a heart shape ketchup dressing?”

“Yeah, and a kiss on the lips as dessert.”

a/n: akaashi is a 95liner, which makes him born in the year of the pig! hope this makes sense and clears any confusions :>

[danteinthedevildom]

So, talkin abt multilingual Mams, 

I was gonna make this post anyway but then I saw @cheerypining​​ put this in the tags of my post re: Mams’ English in his character song:

I would like to hollar out a hell yes! 

The thing with Mams is that he isn’t stupid. He’s smart as fuck, he’s just motivated by self interest and fixation. It’s easier for him to learn things that are of interest to him, or that expand his interests. He’s got that sweet, sweet ADD brain.

So, if language helps him spread out his influence, make money, expand his contacts? It’s gonna be that lil bit easier for him to figure out. It might even be a fixation of his. Learn a language; open opportunities in the place that language hails from. Gain an interest in how language works. Learn other languages bc it’s fun. 

Consider, then, if you will, for some of that tastey lore-building, 

Mams starting out learning the languages of the most influencial/opulent human powers. It’s beneficial for him to figure out how to speak their language if he really wants to get at their pockets, and you can’t really smooth talk someone if you barely understand the way their haggling works. How is anyone going to trust you if their idioms go over your head, or if you miss some slang that marks you very starkly as an outsider? It’s a lot easier if they think you’re like them; if you know the little things that’ll get them lowering their guard around you. 

He’s great with dialects, too. With differences between the upper and lower classes. It only takes one slip-up using court language around the common folk, or using the dialet of the north in the south, for him to recognise how important those divisions are. He works with trust, and the eventual corruption of that trust, and it becomes pretty clear to him pretty quick that trust can only be attained the more like his target he sounds. 

Dead languages still live on in Mammon’s brain. He’s fluent in them, and even though he hasn’t really had to use them in some time, for some reason they’ve just never faded away. You can pretty much use him as a way to track how languages changed over time, how regional variants were influenced by other languages or cultures, when various languages died out and what replaced them. 

It’s not something that he really thinks about. It was beneficial for him, so he learnt it. Beyond that, it was fun, and he enjoyed it. He doesn’t really give himself credit for just how much linguistic history he has stored inside his head, and he really doesn’t put much credit into how goddamn useful it is - or would be - for modern historians. That’s not what he’s interested in. He’s content to leave Satan to the books, to the past; he’s got more of a propensity for the practicality, anyway. 

Listening to him talk is actually pretty astounding. The ease with which he slips into each language, the depth of his understanding for even the slight nuances between regions, makes him seem like a native speaker. The speed, too, is absolutely stunning; you’ve never seen a more baffling sight than Mammon, speaking mild-mannered in Russian to a witch, switching mid-sentence into heavily-flirtatious French to order from the waitress that came to their table. It’s like he doesn’t even stumble between the two, both as natural to him as breathing. 

He has his preferences, of course. When he’s not using the language for his own goals - doesn’t need to, for instance, be careful about his word choice to ensure a bond of trust is made - he quickly slips into a dialect that is most comfortable for him. He might use ‘watashi’ or ‘ore’ when he’s on the job, might tack on the ‘gozaimasu’ to his greetings to make them polite, but when he’s just generally speaking Japanese? That’s when he starts using ‘ore-sama’, when he drops all the humble or stilted phrases; uses ‘ja ne’ instead of ‘sayounara'. That’s when, in English, he stops making sure to enunciate fully; starts shortening ‘you’ to ‘ya’, cuts off the ‘g’ from ‘ing’ words, starts peppering in ‘crap’ instead of ‘stuff’, lets his words slur together to make ‘whaddaya’ out of ‘what are you’. 

He’s naturally an informal guy! It’s just the way he prefers to talk. He hates the pompous lingo, even if it’s usually the most beneficial to learn for what he does. If the language he’s speaking has a way to show belligerent informality, he will absolutely use it whenever he can. It’s a choice, make no mistake; he can arguably speak better in most languages than the stupid high academics. He just doesn’t enjoy that crap when it’s not immediately useful to him. 

(Yes, that does mean he can comprehend even the most pompously written academic papers. No, that doesn’t mean he wants to read them. He would much sooner stab a fork into his giblets than sit down for any period of time and read that wordy bullshit. Same goes for a lot of Satan’s literature; it’s just not enjoyable for him to read, even if he can perfectly understand it.)

Sometimes a word works better in one language than another. It can get extremely frustrating for him, if he has a very specific point to get across; unless someone knows both languages, they’re never going to fully understand. And why use five words in the inefficient language when one in the efficient language would have been even better for his intent? ‘Fernweh’ works much better than ‘imagine being homesick for a place you’ve never been’, after all.  

Mams has a tendency to drop in words he likes from other languages, which makes some of his speech sound a little confusing. He doesn’t think it makes him sound smarter, and he’s not doing it to show off; just, sometimes, he thinks ‘hey’ sounds better than ‘ohayou’, or that ‘ciao’ is cooler and more aloof than ‘au revoir’. Plus, it’s kinda funny when you’re talking to someone Lucifer and you insult them in a language they don’t understand. 

(I mean, in English, we literally say stuff like “it has a little je ne sais quoi,” [it has a little something that I can’t adequately express] so we merge languages into our own in order to better express ourselves. Mams does the same. He just does it with words and phrases that aren’t always naturally used together within that language.)

Do you understand the amount of skill that comes with being able to do this without even stopping to think? He somehow manages to do it in a way that makes each sentence still perfectly fluent and understandable in translation. It’s a little incredible, actually, considering he doesn’t put any stock into this ability. It’s just natural for him. Why’s he gotta think on it more than that? 

(This does mean, the few times someone points it out, that he gets incredibly flustered. Especially if they say it in awe, or in praise. It really is just second nature to him, not even something he’s putting on for show or something that he’s trying to be good at, so being given so much positive attention for it is... well. It’s surprising, and a little nice, actually. But also genuinely embarrasing. It’s perhaps the only time he’ll struggle to find words in any language.)

In conclusion:

Hell yeah I love reinforcin the idea that Mams ain’t stupid and that there’s a lot of goddamn skill that comes with learnin languages and learnin them to such a degree you can accurately pepper their words into your speech without stoppin to think. 

[subconsciousmysteries]

I’d also like to revisit this post and highlight that generic anxiety doesn’t make you a fucking 6. in 6s it is this specific 3-ish fear of not being enough for other people that defines your type. You fear not being competent enough, bright enough, smart enough, to make yourself useful in the tribe and be deemed worthy for survival. Then underneath this, you resent everyone for “making” you treat yourself like an inauthentic product, because you’ve projected your fear of tribal persecution unto them. Underlying the 6 fixation is two fallacies…

The fallacy that I am not competent enough, I am not strong enough, I will never be certain enough of my many abilities to survive alone. For some ominous reason (hint: loss of Holy Faith) I just can’t develop my own abilities to do it alone…

the fallacy of fearing death at all; we fear death because we falsely believe that upon death, our Essence is destroyed. Relearning Holy Faith is about learning all the stuff David Icke talks about… human beings are Infinite Awareness. We are not our bodies, we are infinite consciousness that can never be destroyed. this means that there is no need to fear death since we don’t actually ever die. And so you can now let go of any fixation, and re-embrace Basic Trust that reality is good and safe. All fixations stem from the loss of Basic Trust. But you can especially let go of the 6 fixation once you stop fearing death, because the 6 fixation is the hyper-conscious mental awareness of the loss of Basic Trust. (Source: Almaas Facets of Unity, plz read it my followers)

In 6s, when they disintegrate… the pragmatic sp fear of literally dying gets confused with the more emotional soc fears of point 3. So, 6s become those people who think that being cheated on or betrayed will Literally Kill Me and they lash out by being incredibly bitchy and abusive due to nothing but their own paranoid fears of being shamed by you (at worst). At best, bad 6 -> 3 disintegration leads 6s to turn the fear of rejection internally and overwork themselves so that they don’t appear like an incompetent loser to others. Often they are overworking themselves for stuff they don’t truly find joy in or give a shit about, because the whole point is that they are working to appease their anxieties about not being good enough for others, they are not actually working for themselves and their own authentic pleasure. Eventual collapse is inevitable. I describe 6s as having a “bipolar work ethic” until they learn to use the 3 line to serve themselves and their repressed, denied need for significance, rather than using it to serve others and suck up to their own fears of displeasing others. I definitely have this bipolar work ethic myself as a 6-fix and have had to do work on all these things. In my actual 6 core friend she has bipolar disorder for real.

The 3-6 line is where the deeply human intersection between the need for survival (6) and the need for love (3) is found. Sometimes we confuse these concerns for the worse, which causes us to see other people as our competitors rather than our cooperators. Bad 3-6 dynamics can lead us to abuse people and butcher our relationships with them, in our own paranoid fear that by not sinking to our perceived low level of competency… they are conspiring to harm us.

The 3-6 line is present somewhere in all of us even if it isn’t at the forefront. It’s an Attachment line because it’s such a fundamental defining aspect of the human experience.

BUT… anyone can have anxieties which overwhelm them and lead to something like GAD. Anxiety isn’t uniquely 6. Gut triads fear losing their individuality to the oppressive forces around them and can become very neurotically anxious about this. Especially 8s and 9s who disintegrate into 5 and 6 respectively. Every 8 I’ve known has had anxiety issues… the ones who didn’t turn straight to drug addictions diagnosed themselves with anxiety, but usually we always go back to the drugs in some form, because therapy doesn’t really work for 8s the way it works for 6s. Anyway, that’s content for another post. 2s become neurotic about being rejected, not because they think rejection will lead the whole tribe to persecute them like 6s do, but because they have a very fragile sense of self worth and they believe rejection will harm this and fling them into despair and they won’t be able to function. Etc etc, everyone has anxieties based on their type. But are these anxieties 3-like? Are they based around the sense that I’m not competent enough, I’m not successful enough, I’m not attractive enough, I have no choice but to suck up to social standards and suck up to more competent people and I’m both deeply resentful and deeply anxious and sad about this?

If no, then you’re not looking at a 6.

The main way I experience and understand the 6 -> 3 line is “adopting fears that aren’t even my own”. For instance, other people brainwashed into me the fear of not graduating college because it looks bad and nobody will see me as a skilled, competent enough individual to hire. I adopted this conscious fear of looking like a loser (6 -> 3) as my own for a while before waking up and realizing I was attaching to the public’s fears around failure, instead of authentically being myself and defining success and failure by my own terms, my own values

[oquinn53]

BNHA THEORY RAMBLING WITH SPOILERS

Okay so second bnha rambling with theories because I can’t think straight so I think of bnha! Specifically Deku.

Specifically, Deku’s endgame. There are so many theories out there and I just.... think about Deku specifically a lot. I mean he’s the protagonist and everything and I love him and a common theory that I actually do kinda think about a lot is Deku losing OFA. But I don’t think he’ll end quirkless. I think a lot of things need to happen but let’s start with me rambling about Deku’s characterization, how it can all be wrapped up in this:

Deku has PTSD. (This part is LONG and talks about masochism and mentions suicide and all that. Other points are shorter!) And I don’t mean post war arc or even post Bakugo’s kidnapping, if we want to go that far back. Deku has PTSD from the VERY start. This kid is a walking mental illness. Sources? Hi, I’m a Civilian With PTSD and I saw Deku at the beginning and I watched Deku’s horrible mental health deteriorate EVEN MORE than it started off as. This is really important to me, to state that he has it from the beginning, because I believe in the character growth and development. I might be talking out my ass but it’s fun so. Why do I say he starts out from it? Let’s look at symptoms.

A) hyperfixation, my old friend. Deku fixated hardcore on All Might and Heros in general. But he fixated specifically on All Might and he gets EMBARRASSED about it a lot. (Funny enough, the embarrassment of it is also a symptom of ADHD but I’m not as well versed in that). Hyperfixation is a very very common coping method.

B) His anxiety. Kinda self explanatory here. He’s a bully victim. He also has been literally classified as LESS. Quirkless. But also defenseless. Useless. We’ve heard that, his anxiety is there but it’s because of what DEFINES him. His self identity was born from what everyone else tells him. He’s a determined boy, but his sense of self is only wrapped up in what other people think—or specifically, what All Might thinks. Which blends a bit with...

C) A loss sense of identity. I talked about this a little bit he last part but Deku’s goal to become a hero is so tied to All Might that even when he gains the quirk, he has to have it beaten into him with warning of losing the use f his arms for him to realize he’s NOT All Might. But that’s still what he sees, even when he switches to using his legs more. He has no idea who he is. He just copies. He copies Bakugo’s moves again and again. And while it’s cool to see all the parallels and growth of Deku learning from others, there is a message of “making it his own” when Deku copies others again and again because he has no idea who HE is. He analyses like crazy because figuring out how other people do things is the only way he can figure out how HE can do things. Also, the whole language change because his image of victory is Bakugo? Literally his speech pattern isn’t his own, his every day one matching his mother’s.

D) repressed and heavily released emotion. He’s 0 or 100, both when he gets OFA and with his emotions. I mean. Feral!Deku. Do I need to say more? Yes, because I was to drive home how not okay Deku is from the very beginning. Boy cleans the beach and screams bloody murder. He has no idea what emotion to have and needs to let it out. Doesn’t matter he just did a shit ton of physical release, he has so much emotions that he doesn’t know what to do with. Just like Bakugo’s anger, Deku’s emotion usually comes out as his tears. Boy cries a lot but sometimes tears aren’t enough and Deku screams a LOT. Even his own excitement bursts out in bigger ways, with his mumbling and fact dropping (god, also slightly autistic coded maybe? Blurred lines with ADHD there, it again, not my area of expertise)

E) black and white thinking. He’s young, so that explains some of this but just like I mentioned above with the 0 or 100, he represents the mindset of civilians. He literally blinds himself at the very start to even what’s happening to HIMSELF. He sees hero and he sees villian and those are his two categories. Bakugo literally tells him to kill himself and Deku thinks about how that would negatively affect Bakugo. He doesn’t and never does see Bakugo as a villian for this. He sees “wow that wouldn’t be good for his Hero image” and because Deku sees Bakugo as a hero, everything has to fit into that. And while Deku has huge growth with this next part, he also originally viewed villains as just villains. He learned a LOT and while the society’s image becomes less black and white for him (because the whole manga revolves around the gray morality of it all) he still doesn’t see much gray area. It’s win or lose. With the sports festival, he literally won the race without his quirk. He got through the Calvary battle despite being a giant ass target. He placed in the top 8 (which he probably would have gotten higher on if his goal didn’t change) and despite accomplishing his goal with Todoroki, he broke down about not doing what All Might asked him despite gaining permanent scarring and a hell of a warning re his arms. But to point back at the beginning, this is reinforced with his entrance exam. Passing the written exam meant NOTHING because he did “””nothing””” in the practical.

F) last point, Deku’s a masochist. Obviously with the broken bones and things but I’m not even just talking about the physical damage he does to himself—which is, what, 95% of the time what he gets most of his wounds from? Anyway—I’m talking about his mindset. Masochism isn’t just the physical act of causing pain. It’s that mindset of deserving pain. The reasoning doesn’t matter. Deku only “betters” himself for the sake of giving more to others. He trains so hard, not for himself, but for others. On the outside it might seems like his goal of becoming a hero is his own but he sacrifices his body and dives into situations where he’s literally been warned he’s going to die and he just does it anyway. Eri’s Arc and him “changing the future” is what I’m referring to here and you could say “well he DID say he would change that future!” And okay, sure, but he was told Sir is never wrong. But he would rather rush into that future where he dies than take even a moment to think through his actions. But anyway, my point is him at the beginning so I specifically mean the training montage. Where he was ALREADY on a tough schedule that he knew would be difficult and he literally adjusted it and added MORE. Because, to circle back to other points because mental illness always overlaps points, he can only think of himself as 0 or 100, black and white, Able To Save or Failure. If he can’t be at 100 then he believes he deserves pain and causes it to himself. The only time he regrets his injuries is when it prevents him from giving MORE of himself to others. He learns his shoot style not because he doesn’t want to hurt himself but because he doesn’t want to become useless to others. He trains and loses sleep and puts his body through hell because he thinks of himself only as something for others. (I think wanting to save Shigaraki is a powerful moment not because it’s Pure Boy Deku but because it’a his own thinking, his OWN want, but.... it’s still not for him and will still cause him pain). And a last point on this, Heros Rising showed us that Deku is willing to give up his quirk and his dream to win and it showed us that while he believed he didn’t have any other choice, he was deeply disappointed in himself. Winning wasn’t enough. Hurting himself THAT MUCH wasn’t enough. He let All Migjt down and giving up his dreams, almost dying, becoming quirkless, all wasn’t enough to counteract the shame he held. Like god. Baby.

Other small observations or relevant commentary:

1) The doctor who told Deku he was quirkless is the same doctor who worked on Shigaraki. Same doctor who can perseve dead bodies. Same doctor who worked with AFO and all that. (See? Short! Will be relevant soon)

2) One for All is tied to All for One. OFA was literally created the moment a hand reached out to help. Can one even exist without the other?

3) Bakugo needs to apologize. Horikoshi has literally said in an interview post Heros Rising that Bakugo needs to apologize. Sacrificing his life to save Deku is NOT how you apologize to Deku. Deku will ask for a receipt on this type of apology. Return to sender. Unacceptable. So. Bakugo needs to apologize.

4) Deku’s dad isn’t in the picture yet. Hasn’t even been spoken of except for the fact we know his quirk is fire breathing and his name is Hisashi. Oh and he’s abroad. Oh and Horikoshi said he’ll be in the picture at some point. Given we’re in the final arc......... this might not be relevant at all to my theory because I have mixed thoughts on AFO being Deku’s dad but it would connect a few things in the theory.

SO. Finally, all of this together had me thinking about Deku’s characterization and what this (now with COMBAT related ptsd and not just civilian ptsd) means for his ending.

Like I said, I think he’s going to lose OFA. And I originally didn’t think so because Heros Rising showed his losing it and why would they do that again? The movie is canon. Horikoshi himself said so and was a huge part of the production of it. So they did that and wouldn’t do it again. Except.... Deku GAVE OFA away. Which is significant because it was his choice. And he had shame and we witnessed how much that hurt him, but we haven’t seen what’s now been tried TWICE: OFA being forcibly taken from him. Maybe by Shigaraki, since that is building up big time. But maybe by saving Shigaraki.

Either way, what’s more significant to me than how he has it taken is what that means for him, based on everything else above: he would lose his entire self identity. He would literally have no idea who he is anymore except for the only reference he’s ever had, which his from when he was quirkless. He gained friends only after he had a quirk. Every bond he has is tied to him being a hero and he was told it was impossible for him to be a hero without a quirk. Even All Might’s adjusted answer to him at the beginning involved giving him a quirk as the answer for him being able to become a hero.

I think this is the absolute perfect chance for Bakugo to say “since when did you need a quirk to be a hero”. And it doesn’t matter much what the context is, what causes Deku to still need to be a hero (whether a Situation or just an identity crisis) and I think about Quirkless Deku as a hero a lot, since that’s how he was originally written in the one shot before he was revamped for bnha.

But I don’t think Deku will end quirkless either because of who his doctor was. I think Deku had a quirk. I think the doctor stole it. Whether that’s because AFO is Deku’s dad and saw his quirk and knew he had to take it for some reason or whether it was independent and the doctor saw it and took it. The whole toe thing can be written off so easily that Deku could easily have had a quirk at some point.

And maybe, if AFO and OFA are cancelled out, the quirks that were stolen go back to their original owners. Meaning Deku gets his ORIGINAL quirk back.

As in, Deku gets his own identity.

And what would that quirk be? Hm. I don’t know. But. His mom can move small objects. His dad can breath fire. A mutation, maybe? I’ll leave that one up in the air.

And there are a lot of implications here that this could mean for him, as far as healing. And I just want him to be happy.

[sugabeaniee]

𝓢𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓔𝓼𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓸

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Akaashi Keiji x gn!reader

ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: pure fluff 

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You find a picturesque cafe on your way to class, not knowing that you’d soon become the baristas favorite regular. 

They smelled of freshly ground espresso. The scent that wafts through the air as you grind, tamp, and then brew immediately. They were the perfect blend of attributes that suited your palate.

Your run-ins began as mere interactions between a cashier and customer. You’d often run by the quaint café on the corner on your way to class, never giving it much thought. However, on the odd day that you happened to be running a bit early, you decided to test your luck and try the snug café out. The café itself was modest yet charming, maple wood lining almost every feature. It was as if you had been transported to a foreign country in the span of a second, and you questioned how you had never noticed such a café before. Hues of emerald and butterscotch danced around, leaving their mark throughout the establishment. Crystal vases full of daisies, fox glove, and buttercups littered the tables, refracting miniature rainbows as the sun hit them in just the perfect angle.

You slowly made your way up to the counter, admiring the display of pastries and breads that were for sale. You weren’t sure of what to order, nor did you want to waste your time eyeing the menu, so when you reached the cashier you merely asked them to decide for you.

“Can you give me your favorite drink? Hot or iced, it doesn’t matter!” You chirped.

The soft-spoken, raven-like cashier simply nodded a yes before giving you your total price. You quickly paid the bill, struggling to hurriedly get the cash out of your wallet. “You can keep the change!” You muttered in fear of keeping up the line trying to put the spare money back into your bulky wallet. You checked your watch, 15 minutes until class. You were grateful that you still had plenty of time and were able to get some caffeine to go.

Patiently clasping your hands in front of your body you turned back to observe the cashier whom you spoke to just moments ago. You allowed your eyes to roam his visage. He had charcoal, tufted hair that fell a bit messily, and sharp features with malachite eyes. You hadn’t been able to get a good look at him as you had been anxiously rushing to let the next person in line go, however, now that you were a bit calmer, you could definitely tell he was handsome.

You were snapped out of your daze and back to reality once you heard your name being called. You quickly grabbed the cup and briskly walked out of the café. Still 10 minutes until class you thought, picking up your pace into a light jog. Your university wasn’t far by any means, but you were a notorious slow walker and thus always had to half-jog to class in order to make it on time. You took a quick sip out of your drink, slightly burning the tip of your tongue. You winced, but as the pain wore off you nodded in approval of his drink choice. Hmm.. flat white. He has unexpectedly good taste.

The following interactions between the two of you continued similarly. You would stop by the café more frequently, slowly but surely becoming a bit of a regular. The raven-like cashier wasn’t always present, yet you attributed that to your odd schedule. You didn’t have a set time to visit the café, rather you stopped by when you had a second in your schedule. You oftentimes also used it as a place to study, finding it to be quite inviting and pleasant. Soft classics would often flow through the speakers and would blend with the irreplaceable sounds of the espresso being brewed or the milk being frothed, harmonizing into a calming lull. It had become a bit of a habit to allow the raven-haired cashier to pick your drink, appreciating the lack of decision. As your visits became more frequent, he had begun to pre-select a drink of the day for you, finding a bit of excitement in choosing a new drink for you to try. He’d begin to ask what you thought of the drink that day, making a mental note if you happened to dislike a specific drink. Even though your visits had become almost daily at this point, you never seemed to remember to ask the cashier his name. However, by now he definitely knew yours.

Akaashi would often await your arrival, his eyes lighting up whenever he saw you round the corner and walk towards the shop through the shop windows. His part-time job was never truly exciting until you came into view. He was so used to the monotone hum of his daily chores, everything became second nature and he often thoughtlessly ran through the motions of the day. However, when you became a regular his life seemed to achieve a golden hue. Everything seemed brighter and more intriguing. Akaashi wasn’t the most experienced barista, thus he would spend hours researching different recipes in order to always bring you a new drink. In his spare time he would practice creating new drinks, giving his co-workers the job of judging the taste.

Although making the new drinks was entertaining, Akaashi’s favorite thing was when you would stay to study. You encounters were often brief, so when you decided to sit down for a few hours he would often memorize your every detail. His co-workers would tease him for staring but he could honestly care less what they thought. To Akaashi you were tantalizing and ethereal. He didn’t know much about you other than your name and his assumption that you were enrolled in the university close by. However, the mystery made it that much more appealing. He enjoyed watching your pencil glide across your papers as you took notes on your most recent assignment, or the way you often got frustrated when a reading passage and having to re-read it several times. At times you would doze off, your head resting against your palm and nodding as you tried not to succumb to the tiredness. As much as Akaashi would love to watch you nod off, he knew you would most likely beat yourself up if you lost precious studying time, or so it seemed from the pile of assignments littered across the table. He’d make you a second drink on the house and quietly place it on your table, careful to not startle you. You’d often wake up at the sudden movement near you, a rosy flush scattering across your cheeks as you noticed he’d left you yet another drink.

You weren’t sure how long this went on. The café on the corner seemed like a second home at this point, most of the workers now knowing you by name. You seemed to slowly figure out the raven-haired barista’s schedule, making a point to stop by when you were sure he was there. You weren’t quite sure why or how your attraction to him began, yet who could blame you for being attracted to such a beautiful young man. Often times you would muster up the courage to ask for his name, but soon be interrupted by the next customer in line or one of his co-workers. Perhaps the world thinks our lives shouldn’t cross paths you thought, giving up on pursuing anything further. You sat down to study at your usual table, pulling out your notebooks and assignments. You quickly got to work, falling into a studious spell. Hours later you were brought back to existence by the rattle of a mug hitting against a ceramic saucer. Your raven-haired barista slid the drink across the table with a small grin. You muttered a quick thank you before continuing back to your studies, however, a melodic voice broke your concentration.

“I’m not sure if this is overstepping your boundaries, but I’d like to ask if you’d join me for dinner sometime?” He asked shyly.

As always, a blush bloomed across your face, this time rising to the tips of your ears. You were surprised that he spoke to you, much more that he seemed to be asking you out on a date. You were sure that your fixation was one-sided, however that was far from the truth. You mustered up all the courage in you in order to reply to the good-looking man in front of you.

“Shouldn’t I at least know your name first before I let you take me out?” You countered.

“Akaashi. Akaashi Keiji.”

a/n: ahh this is a bit of a self-indulgent drabble. I’ve had this idea for a while, but never got to writing it. I’ve been studying for about 9 hours straight today and I’m so mentally tired, but I really wanted to write this for some reason so here ya go! I hope y’all like it (it’s also late at night so im sorry for any mistakes >.<) Let me know if you guys would like a general taglist! I plan on writing more drabbles like these in between updating my smaus and whatnot. 

[sharknadoslutt]

Please 🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻 Need

Twilight is the reason I'm on tumblr writing fanfiction again and I'm very thankful for that. I would say that is my secondary hyper fixation to SWs at this time. Right before I started coming back on tumblr regularly, this blog had actually existed as a TCWs blog. But I was off tumblr for the better part of 2 years. But then the ✨Twilight Renaissance✨ happened and pulled me out of a really deep deep deep depression. Like I felt nothing for a while but then I got into Twilight groups and we would make fun of how stupid this franchise was lol it was nice to be a part of a fandom again, especially bcs I've always been apart of SOMETHING since as long as I could go online. Niche fandom communities are like family I swear. Especially during the lockdown.. anyways

Well I had surgery a few months back and my Husband bought me Midnight Sun (The first book but told through Edward's point of view) and I loved it. Is it good? Debatable. But did I love it? Omg. Yes. Edward is so dramatic and its iconic

So after I read Midnight Sun, I re-read the 4 Twilight books... then I re-watched the movies like 6 times.. then, I had nothing else to do other than read some fanfiction... and BOY OH BOY I LOVE 1 TWILIGHT FANFICTION SERIES!

I've been reading it for MONTHS. It's like 60+ chapters and ongoing. I def can tell the writers passion for the story is dying slowly, which is valid and we've all been there, but the slow burn is... GOD. And even now, despite being slow to update, it's going in a really original cool direction. It starts before Twilight and is now is past the events of Breaking Dawn!!!

One Step at a Time by Elykrai on A03 (x)

If you like Twilight and if the three kings (Marcus, Aro and Caius) are your problematic favs... then look no further! So like... It's an OC fic, which isn't everyone's cup of tea. But like. Idk I'm obsessed. the way the writer wove the character into the universe felt so perfect. like, honestly, it doesn't obstruct much canon at all and everyone is so in character!!!!!

It's like a soul mate poly AU between the three kinds and Blake Swan, Bella's older sister. She's the older sister and a disabled vet, a marine. She's coping with PTSD and is living with Charlie when Bella comes to live with them. And like Blake is more like Charlie than Renee and I LOVE her. LIke 100% Blake is canon to me. And she has this like.. connection to the kinds, because of their destined soul mate bond???

I'm not describing it well or giving it enough credit - But if yall want a good Twilight slowburn fic, give it a go!

My only complaints are there are a few times where Blake's identity is too intangled with her military career. Which is fine. It can just ramble at times, but its easily overlooked. And the lack of smut. I usually CANNOt get into fics that do not have full on smut. but this did it for me, folks.

If you read it please tell me what you think and Elykrai, if you are out there sis, I love your work and I hope you are doing well!

This story like got me back into reading fanfiction then The Bad Batch came on and I become obsessed with the Boyz. so. Yall can thank Twilight and Elykrai if yall enjoy my content, bcs I wouldnt be here without it lol

send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want