#and writing her is a lot of fun. girl that overthinks all the time forever

[hey-heigo]

Chapter 31

first chapter of da year :)

SEE HERE FOR GENERAL WARNINGS AND FIC SUMMARY

Some pre-chapter notes:

not much to say for this one. kind of a transitional chapter into the trial

every now and then i re-reference the game transcripts and realize that ive missed a lot of stuff that's kind of important within the game canon and it becomes a race to see if and where i can introduce those naturally

beta'd by @digitaldollsworld!

Content warning tags: Monokuma-typical dialogue, hangnail fixation, student tardiness

< previous - from start - next >

Makoto jitters as he waits by the elevator entrance with the others, chewing on a hangnail on his thumb. It’s a bad habit he had throughout elementary and middle school, and one his mom would definitely get pissed at him for reviving.

Sorry mom, he thinks distantly, as the tiny sliver of skin gets caught between his teeth just so - and is joined by a bead of blood, hot metal on his tongue, as he tugs open a tiny, stinging wound next to his fingernail. But he felt like there were ants marching under his skin, a steady, anxious march of them as he waits for what feels like ages, glancing repeatedly at the doorway.

A few moments later, there’s the sound of clomping footsteps and indistinct words, and he nearly gets a twinge in his neck twisting around to see who it was. But it’s not Byakuya, or Kyoko, or even Hifumi - but Monokuma, uncharacteristically reserved (and, for some reason, missing a few patches of fur across its head and torso) and dragging Toko along by the edge of her skirt. And Toko…

He blinks, forgetting to be apprehensive for a moment. The characteristic twin braids that usually swung from her head were gone, shorn messily and at uneven lengths, just above the shoulders. The right side still had enough length to hold its shape as a braid, though there were a lot of messy, flyaway strands poking outwards that gave the impression that she’d been electrocuted. The left side was cut shorter, in line with her chin, and was completely undone, frizzing outwards from her face. There’s a band-aid - reddish-pink and patterned with white bunnies - slapped high across her left cheekbone. Her glasses were askew.

For a moment, no one dares to say a word, as her eyes flick between them, wide and wild and blazing with rage. “W-What are you looking at?” She snarls, voice stuttering only slightly, but enough to confirm that, yes, she was Toko, and Makoto relaxes a little.

(Not that he had anything against Syo, really, aside from the…murder. But Syo was a lot, and he wasn’t sure he could handle her right now.)

“...Toko?” Hina tries, tentatively, and she flinches, hard enough for her glasses to slip even further down her nose. “What - what happened…?”

“Isn’t it o-obvious?” She snaps bitterly. She yanks her skirt free from Monokuma’s grasp - who doesn’t even make a sound of protest or indignation, weirdly enough - her fingers white-knuckling the fabric, before shoving her glasses back with the palm of one hand. “She cut them off. Th-thought it’d be funny, or something…n-not that she ever th-thinks about what it matters to me…”

No one really knows what to say to that. “...Well,” Sakura eventually says, a little awkwardly. “It doesn’t look…bad.”

“Y-eah…” Hiro agrees, sounding way too skeptical to be believable. “It just…needs to be evened out?”

Whatever comfort they were trying to offer was lost on her, who only scowls fiercer, as she moves to isolate herself to a corner, her typical habit. Clearly no longer interested in entertaining any further conversation, though Makoto can feel her eyes boring into him when he looks away, returning his thumb to his lips.

The minutes tick by in an agonizing crawl. Monokuma is waiting silently with them now, adding a new layer of anxiety as it cycles between tapping its foot dramatically to staring at its wrist like it’s checking a watch, and yet the last three of their party is nowhere to be seen.

The hangnail Makoto was teething at finally gives up the ghost and snaps off with a sharp, needle-prick of warmth. Instead of pulling his thumb out of his mouth, though, he tongues at the raw, weeping skin, tasting salt and copper and another bloom of hot pain.

The sound of footsteps has him jerking to look again, dragging his hand from his mouth, and a moment later the sound is followed by Byakuya and Hifumi, rushing - kind of - towards them. Neither of them are moving especially fast, and Byakuya was keeping pace with Hifumi, though Makoto’s not sure if that’s on purpose, or, if something else was going on - he did seem to be struggling, his brow pinched, uncharacteristically stumbling somewhat as they reach the group. But the rest of him seems okay, and that in itself is enough of a relief to make Makoto rush over to meet him.

“Hey,” He starts, and then realizes he’s not sure what to say. Not for lack of stuff that he wants to say - ‘are you okay’ being the first one, ‘are your legs okay’ being the second, ‘did you eat anything yet’ being the third - but he also has the feeling Byakuya wouldn’t actually answer any of those at this instant.

So instead he settles for the next most important thing: “Where’s Kyoko?”

Byakuya’s face tightens a little more. “Coming up behind us,” He replies tersely, before grabbing onto his shoulder: “What did you find?”

“A-A lot,” Makoto stammers, a little taken aback by the sudden question. He reaches into his pocket to show him, but no sooner does his fingers brush smooth plastic than does something -firm and plush, Monokuma’s paw - smack his knee with surprising force. “Ow!”

“No spoilers!” The bear barks, once more its over-animated self - though somehow, the few clumps of fur that Syo had snipped off of it makes it look a lot more menacing than usual. “Grr…when I say it’s trial time, I mean it! That means no more schemin’, plottin’, conspirin’, nothin’! You save what you got for the trial so it’s fair!”

“Even lawyers will discuss before and during trial proceedings,” Byakuya points out, and Monokuma glares, red eye flashing bright and dangerous.

“Oh yeah? Well that’s that and this is this! I’m the law here! And the senate and the captain, and I speak for the trees, y’hear?!” It shakes its paws threateningly, and everyone leans away from it, uneasy. “Grrah!! That really pissed me off, on top of me already being pissed off about student tardiness! Don’t you know you gotta respect your authorities? Don’t you know you gotta respect other people’s time!? I swear, this generation is gonna go to the dogs!”

“Ugh,” Hina mutters under her breath. “Boomer.”

“Dude,” Hiro hisses next to her, still sweating with fear. “Shut up.”

“And where’s Kirigiri?!” Monokuma continues its tirade, undeterred by the errant comments. “She’s late!”

“She’s on her way,” Byakuya says stiffly, at the same time as Hifumi stammers: “She-she said she wanted to check something-”

And immediately, he clamps a hand over his own mouth, eyes widening. Everyone looks to Monokuma, breaths held, as a foreboding shadow passes over the toy’s unmoving face.

“Sh-she probably went to the bathroom or something!” Makoto interjects quickly, at the same time shuffling to the side to stand in front of the exit. “She’ll be here any moment, so-”

“Outta the way, Makoto,” Monokuma barks, and really, the rage would be comical if Makoto didn’t know what it was capable of. He could practically see steam blowing out of Monokuma’s ears. “Tardiness is one thing, but breaking the rules is another. Investigating outside of investigation time is like breaking out the volleyball during math class! Super wrong and super not allowed!”

“If it weren’t allowed, it should be written more clearly in the rules.” Says a voice from behind him, as cool and unaffected as ever.

He spins, and can’t help the relieved grin that threatens to break across his face. Hiro shouts, “Kyoko!” and she only nods, acknowledging them briefly before stepping forward to stand in front of Monokuma.

“Sorry if I’m late,” She says tersely. “But I was walking directly here. You can check on the cameras if you want.”

“Don’t get smart with me…” Monokuma shakes its paw at her. “That’s no excuse! When I say ‘trial time’, that means you show up within five minutes! Any later and I put out a warrant! Any later later and you get penalized!”

“If that’s the case, shouldn’t you make that more clear?” Byakuya scoffs. “This is the first time we’re hearing about this.”

Monokuma rounds on him instead. “It’s basic decency! Common sense! D’you also want me to teach you one plus one is three!?”

Makoto watches as Byakuya’s eye literally twitches, lip simultaneously curling in disgust. “It’s not like she was wandering aimlessly. And you’ve never discussed these kinds of regulations before, or emphasized the importance of them thereof. It’s not even written out in the rules - which, as you’ve made clear by this point, is our standard for what we can or can’t do - so how are we supposed to know that this is a punishable offense?”

Monokuma’s eyes flash again, bright, hospital-sign-red, and its whole body seems to be vibrating in place with barely-contained fury, and Makoto makes a blind grab for Byakuya’s hand, with the intention to stop him before something bad really happens; because as much as his words make sense, Monokuma was weird today. The bear’s unexpected silence only to be followed up with something bordering on rage, over Kyoko being just a few minutes late - Makoto can still vividly remember Junko’s eyes, wide and trembling, staring at him as Monokuma nonchalantly tossed a cloth over her skewered body and shooed them away -

Byakuya doesn’t flinch when Makoto squeezes his wrist, but his eyelids drop and flicker slightly, and too late, Makoto registers the crossing pattern of bandages under his fingertips and remembers, loosening his hold quickly and guiltily; Byakuya doesn’t really react to it, doesn’t even look at him, though he does shake his hand out slightly before returning it to hang loose at his side. 

“Smart-aleck, huh?” Monokuma growls, squeaky-toy voice low and dangerous. “Well, fine then. If you’re gonna be like that-”

There’s a chorus of unanimous pings, in the air, and then a collective shuffle as everyone digs out their pockets for their handbooks. Byakuya reaches into the pockets of his pants, finds nothing, and for a moment looks so genuinely disheartened that Makoto almost passes over his own handbook, before remembering that it wouldn't really do anything for him. Looking down at his own screen, he stares at the new line below the bulleted list of rules.

“New addendum: ‘when trial time is announced, all are expected to participate. And anyone late by longer than FIVE MINUTES will be PUNISHED.’” Monokuma recites for them as they read. “There, ya happy now? S’That clear enough for you-” And it takes a deep breath, chest puffing out. “-BRATS?”

And Byakuya frowns, chewing on the inside of his cheek again, but doesn’t seem inclined to argue the point anymore. No one does, for that matter, and Makoto thinks he can finally let out the breath he was holding, when he takes a look at Kyoko and sees her brows furrowed contemplatively.

“Just a second,” Kyoko speaks up, closing her handbook with a snap in the same breath, and Makoto has to internally brace himself. “At this point, there’s only eight of us left, with two, almost three people having died earlier, and at least one more of us expected to die today. If we can expect the ‘punishment’ for breaking any of these rules to be the same as established from day one, wouldn’t this end your game sooner?”

Monokuma tilts its head, anger forgotten in an instant. “Puhuhu…is that what you think?” It giggles. “Well first of all, my goal is a thrilling, chilling, killing game! How long or short it is doesn’t matter, as long as the momentum keeps up to the end! ‘Course, I would prefer it if you all could last as long as you can, and show me your drive as Ultimates! …But, you do have a point about the number of victims, so…”

Another ping, and Makoto fumbles to reopen his handbook. “New rule: ‘the blackened may only kill a maximum of two people.’ Unless we somehow make it to the end of the game with three people left, and maybe I’ll reconsider, but that’s for later.” Monokuma leans over to try and pat Kyoko’s knee, and her leg jerks for a moment, as if to kick the robot across the room - instead, she just takes a step back, out of reach. “Good catch, Miss Kirigiri! I do so appreciate thoughtful students!”

She doesn’t look pleased by the praise at all, face darker than usual as she tucks her chin into her knuckles, thinking. In fact, no one does; he catches sight of Sakura’s face scowling as she flicks her handbook closed with a sharp snap, and Hiro’s anxious fidgeting. Hina is the only one who meets his eye, though she just as quickly looks away; but he gets the unspoken message loud and clear. 

No time to discuss it though. “I almost forgot! The whole dang point of this!” Monokuma explains, with a conductor-like flourish of its paws, the lattice doors of the rickety, industrial elevator scrape their way open with a ding. “Alright, everyone! In you go! I’ll meet you down below!”

No one really wants to get on, but after the whole fiasco Monokuma had just put on, no one really wants to test it either. They shuffle their way in, one by one, and Makoto distantly remembers the first time they rode this thing, the weight of fourteen people had elicited a terrifying groan that had everyone frozen, stock still and hardly daring to breathe as they rattled their way down. This time, it doesn’t even creak.

Toko was one of the first to enter, and stationed herself near the doors. She eyes Byakuya with wide red eyes, a strange, intensely focused look on her face, and Makoto hastily shepherds the other boy towards the opposite end of the tiny space and into a back corner, before positioning himself solidly in Toko’s line of sight. He goes to motion for Kyoko, try and beckon her closer so he can tell her about the evidence he’d found-

But, she’s already here, and standing directly in front of Byakuya. Arms crossed, her left hand flexing slowly and deliberately, her leather glove creaking with every stretch and pull. Eyes perfectly glazed over, as if in thought.

“Kyo-”

“Not now.” She mutters, and her gaze flicks briefly to the camera in the corner, and then back into the middle distance.

“But,” He says, whispering now, following her attention to the camera as he reaches into his pocket. “It’s important-”

“It can wait. Don’t reveal anything here.” She says, sharper this time, and this time her eyes darts to the others around them before focusing on him instead, narrowing slightly, pale irises giving the impression of pinprick pupils, like a wild cat. “Understand?”

And he does, a little, but only a little. Even if this was their third trial, it still made him feel like dirt, having to be suspicious of their friends. And it still didn’t get any easier, being treated by Kyoko as something between a personal assistant and confused child; even if she was the only one putting in the most effort into getting everyone out. He clenches his hand in his pocket, momentarily forgetting the open wound on his finger, and cringing at the raw sting of fabric scraping against it, and the prospect of lint getting where it shouldn’t. He looks away, trying to distract himself from that, Kyoko, the impending trial, and the now-familiar sense of impending doom building in his chest with every meter they descended, until his attention falls on Byakuya again.

Byakuya was mirroring Kyoko, arms crossing over his chest, but he’s anything but still. His eyes shake like they don’t know what to focus on, darting, trembling, never at rest. To him, Kyoko, the camera, the descending walls outside the elevator, the others, Toko, him again, the floor. His right cheek is pinched a little with how he’s chewing on it.

He looks younger without his glasses, a lot less regal and closed-off. Makoto had noticed it the night before, right before he kissed him; and though he has the feeling Byakuya wouldn’t appreciate it if he mentioned it, he thinks he really prefers it this way. More human. Less guarded.

“Stop staring.” Byakuya hisses at him, and he jumps, and jerks forward again, face flushing. Had he been making it that obvious?

“Sorry.” He replies, automatically. But he can’t help peeking, especially when he notices the slight, purpling edge of a bruise peeking over the collar of his jacket, zipped all the way up as it is. And decides not to mention that either, at least not right now.

They rattle the rest of the way down in silence.

__

As expected, Monokuma is already waiting for them. Bouncing excitedly on its velvet throne, fur pristine once more. 

A different spare, Kyoko thinks, quietly checking off one of her suspicions as confirmed. They knew well by now that Monokuma likely had a reserve of excess models, but this established that there were different models stationed in different places, which could explain how the puppet seemed to get around so quickly; a mystery that she had been pondering for some time now, and deduced to either be secret tunnels, or multiple spares that the mastermind could switch control between on an instant.

But now wasn’t the time to dwell too deeply on that now. She takes her stand, sliding one hand carefully over her jacket pocket as she does, checking that the contents were still there. Casting a brief glance at Makoto, standing across from her.

It would have been for the best if they could have reconvened before this. But there simply hadn’t been time - and to discuss it on the elevator would have alerted the culprit. It was frustrating, but all she could do now was trust that Makoto had done his job.

“Gosh, when you’re all spread out like this, it really shows just how few of you are left!” Monokuma laughs, and sure enough, everyone’s standing a lot further from each other than before. There are new portraits where there should have once been occupied space, sitting within heavy metal frames - Celeste’s and Mondo’s faces slashed through with bright, offensive crosses. Strange how much of a difference was made by the absence of just two people.

Kyoko wonders who could have put those there - Monokuma, for all its many sleight-of-hand tricks, was nowhere near dextrous in shape or form to handle that kind of labor on its own - was it the Mastermind, then with their own hands? Were they watching from somewhere nearby?

“The rules are the same as always! Find out the blackened who killed your precious classmates! Vote them out! Get it right, and only the culprit is punished! Otherwise, only the culprit gets away scot-free!” She slides her attention back towards the bear as it continues its spiel. There were a lot of moving pieces in this trial, and to put it all together, she couldn’t afford to sit back as she did before. She’d need to speak up as soon as she was able. “Now, to start off - who would like to go first?”

She opens her mouth, but-

“I can.” Makoto says before she can make a sound, and returns her sharp and skeptical stare with a look that’s nothing short of anxious confidence.

“Can you?” She finds herself asking, unable to keep the incredulity out of her voice, and he gives a sharp nod that could have just as easily been a nervous swallow. “Then-”

“He can,” Sakura confirms, interjecting into their call-and-return game, and Kyoko turns to her instead. “Me, Hiro, and Hina can confirm his deductions as well. We saw the evidence.”

“Witnessing someone else’s logic is hardly enough to confirm a definite conclusion.” Byakuya scoffs, cutting off Kyoko once more, and she closes her mouth and tries not to feel too irritated. “But if you’re so confident, then go ahead and tell us who you think the culprit is.”

Things were already going off-course. She’d lost her opportunity to lay out her reasoning - but that was fine, she told herself. There was the chance that Makoto had reached the same conclusion as her, and if not, then she can debunk the evidence he laid out. He glances at her, and she nods once, tilting her head to give him her ear.

“O-okay, well.” He clears his throat hesitatingly. “When it comes to the deaths of Celeste, and the- the attempted murder of Byakuya, the culprit is Mondo.”

< previous - from start - next >

[zabala0z]

Okay so, I just finished MAG 100 (Wild guys holy shit) and I saw the next ep is like 50 minutes long??? (EDIT: okay I was wrong so ignore that) So I’m gonna post my 4 episode thoughts now since whatever MAG 101 is gonna be, it’s gonna make me have a lot of thoughts:

MAG 97: We All Ignore the Pit

Okay, so, there’s a lot here that I didn’t realize at first glance. Who the hell was that old man??? My first thought was Simon Fairchild because he said “nothing for you down there. You just go and enjoy your sky” but then he like spat mud and that’s something Simon had never done before, not even like a hint of dirt shit. He also was described as mean and Simon, from all the statements, was a pretty chill guy?? Like he was friendly, amiable, etc. so I don’t think this is Simon.

Who was the old woman and the blue eyed guy? I thought it was Gertrude since she would be alive around this time. Wait hold on I just thought of something. Like I’m writing and I just thought “man what other old woman is there??” Fucking Mary Keay. Could be. And the boy could’ve been Gerard or something. Or maybe I’m overthinking. I think I am. God.

ALSO NIKOLA??? WTF BRO. The fact she was like “yeah I stole this voice box” implied to me that she strangled the boss in Drawing a blank for it 😭😭 poor Jon, he keeps getting kicked around. Also creepy ass voice. Jesus.

I’m wondering how Gregor is her dad. Like I don’t think she met blood related, right? And how did she end up in the department store. Like duh it was the delivery service but what led there??

MAG 98: Lights out

Maxwell Rayner strikes again. Douchebag. Another darkness theme. Not much else to say but Melanie trying to poison Elias? Respect.

MAG 99: Dust to Dust

MICHAEL. MICHAEL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??

Guys you have no idea the scream I let out when Gertrude said his name. Like genuinely, this is like top 5 most crazy moments for me which is probably gonna get trumped in like 3 episodes but still holy shit. Like. I was fully hyperventilating.

Michael was Gertrude’s assistant. Like he was a human. I figured he was one but him being an ASSISTANT at the institute was not a thing that crossed my mind. How did The Spiral get him? Or did he go to The Spiral??

The Buried. Fun name. So I’m guessing it’s deal looking back is claustrophobia, dirt, earth, etc. gotta keep track of that. Now all the names entities we know of are up to 7! Funsies. Congratulations to Jon on getting kidnapped. We’re now adding to his trauma.

MAG 100: I Guess You Had To Be There

I’m dying of laughter what was this. Okay so every statement, while disjointed and not very said well, is important. The girl who saw a ghost on fire?? Well could be related to The Desolation. Y’know. Fire. The guy who lost his friend in the subway station, The Buried, I think. The guy who got lost in a maze and then just left because he was late? By the way, funniest thing ever like what the hell. Anyways that’s The Spiral and the guy with the spiders, I still have no idea. It’ll have a name soon.

ALSO PETER LUKAS. LUKAS. DUDE. The way how he says stuff, how cheerful he sounds, reminds me of Mike Crew? I don’t know if the Lukas family is also related to The Vast but the experiences sounds vaguely similiar enough.

Poor Brian. Bros now gonna be lost like forever 💀 okay so I think that’s everything. I see there’s a lot of parts coming up so anyone who wants to see me melt from lore won’t have to wait too long!

[madwomansapologist]

Would you be okay writing some sfw and nsfw headcanons for Tatum Riley, please?

dating tatum riley would include

Masterlist | Rules | Taglist | Library | More Tatum Riley | AO3

synopsis: Everyone that knows Tatum understand that with her boredom don't exist. That's what they expect from her. But you... You have her whole.

warnings: the final part is nsfw.

note: thank you for your request! i love tatum, she was fun to write for. and let's be honest we all couldn't look away from her boobs during the movie, right? right...?

• If you had to describe Tatum, the first word to come out of your mouth would be "eletric". She's always moving. Walking, dancing, jumping. Tatum is like that. She's the girl that know what to say. She always does.

• When you need someone to talk to, you search for Tatum. That's how your relationship works. You both search for each other. Either going throught good or bad times, you both look for one another.

• Tatum is a good listener. Somehow she always know what to say. Either is complimenting you, joke about something that you told her, calm you down when you're overthinking or wake you to what's really happening. You can always count on what she have to say.

• You already have your own seat during her cheerleader rehearsals. The one with the best view for her. You know the coreo, the chanting, and even on rehearsals you have a poster with her name written. She's a cheerleader, but that does not mean you can't try to cheer her up.

• If someone try to mess with you, Tatum don't even think before protecting you. She's popular, people like her for a reason, but that does not mean she will let you be mistreaten. Tatum is like a rose: the ones she love get her petals, the ones she don't...

• Fight with Tatum never feel like something horrible. Even when you're both mad at one another. Tatum believes that this is how everyone should behave: you fight, you make up. What's the point of fighting and not resolving the issue?

• PDA happens. A lot. All the time. Everyday. Always. Forever. And evermore. Did I make it clear?

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

• Sex with Tatum is always about teasing. About who breaks first. Either it is about a lingering touch on public, a choice of clothes that has only a reason to be made, a hint of something more. You both know what's happening, what the other want, it's just part of the fun to pretend to not.

• Sex before the school games, when she should be getting ready to perform, is almost a tradition. People are looking for her, affraid that someone might have to replace Tatum, when you're both hidden on a bathroom. You eating her out, Tatum doing the best to not make a noise.

• Tatum always says she was rehearsing. That's why she's sweating and breathing so much. Of course.

• She always know when you're looking at her boobs. Is like a spider-sense. If you're around other people, she might get in positions where you can see it better. Maybe touch them when no one is looking. But there is a thing she loves to do. Let's say you're both with some friends and for any reason they are paying attention to something else. She'll flash them to you. Be prepare.

GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink

SCREAM TAGLIST: @adamsbubblegumbitch

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[heyitsperfect]

Happy Ending - Happy Lowman

Warnings: language, Happy being Happy, some fluff

A/N: This was fun to write. I just love Happy and his character. I found this picture somewhere online. Credits to whoever owns it. 

Request by@yourwonkywriter: Hi babes, I would like to request the prompt “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?” for Happy (surprise) 🥺💖

Request by anon: 14 and 5 with Happy pleeaassseeee

Request by anon: Ahhh I love your writing!! Can I please get happy lowman for 14

Prompts: 5. „oh no keep going. I need an excuse for the court when I’m charged for your murder.“ & 14. „Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?“

„Happy Lowman, why the fuck did you do it?“ You were mad. Really mad, no angry, no furious. Happy Lowman, the Tacoma Killer, did it again. You were supposed to have a date tonight, but it seemed like Happy did scare him away. AGAIN! 

„Calm down little girl. He isn’t worth your time.“ Happy was sitting at the bar in the clubhouse. Chibs and Tig were also around and currently looking at you like you’ve grown a second head. 

„And who are you to judge that? It’s not like you are an expert about relationships and dating!“ You literally screamed at him. Yes you were friends for the longest time and Happy did save you one time out of a toxic relationship. That’s how you became friends, but he’s crossing lines recently with scaring every potential man away. 

„Care to tell us what happened, doll?“ Tig chimed in. 

„This genius over here decided to manipulate my date. Again.“ It seemed like Happy didn’t care at all. Like it was the most natural thing ever. 

„But don’t you think, our Happy here did. this to protect you. If he���s so easy to scare away then he doesn’t deserve you.“ Chibs told you and it wasn’t something you wanted to hear. You looked at all three men. Happy had a big smirk plastered on his face. 

„Ugh! I’m leaving. Maybe I can talk him into another date.“ you stormed out of the clubhouse. 

—-///—-

„Another one? Really Happy? Let the poor girl have a life.“ Chibs said laughing slightly. 

„How many did. you scare away already? Four or five?“ Tig asked the killer. 

„It was the sixth one.“ he simply said and took a sip off his beer. 

„When will you finally grow a pair and admit to her your true feelings? She’s a keeper and she won’t be single forever, brother?“ Chibs intervened. That little speech made Happy overthink things. He got up and got after you. Hopefully you’d still be out front in the lot.  

„Y/N, little girl, wait.“ Happy called out for you in the exact moment you wanted to get into your car. You don’t know why you waited, but you turned around and looked at him. „He is not worth your time“ you scoffed, making him stop. 

„Oh no keep going. I need an excuse for court when they charge me for your murder.“ 

„He was a part of our last run. He’s not good for you. All I’m trying to do is to protect you.“ you saw sincerity in his eyes, so you let the topic drop. 

„Talk to me before you scare him away, okay? I need some space and time for me. So if you don’t mind…“ your motioned for him to leave you alone. He placed a kiss on your forehead and squeezed your arm slightly. Something he has never done before. 

„Text me when you get home, please.“ 

—-///—-

You awoke by some pounding at your front door the next morning. Shit. You didn’t text Happy that you arrived at home safely. Something you would normally do, but his actions confused you too much yesterday to think about texting him. 

You went downstairs and the pounding at your door stopped. The next thing was that Happy is standing behind you in your kitchen scaring the shit out of you. 

„Jesus Christ in heaven, Happy!“ you clutched at your chest. „You want some coffee?“

„Why didn’t you text me yesterday?“ You poured him a cup of coffee and placed it in front of him. You didn’t answer him straight away which caused him to have a better look at you. Still in pjs with messed up bed hair and no hint of make up. For Happy you were the most beautiful thing on earth, but it was hard for him to communicate things like that without sounding like a creep. 

„You look beautiful.“ he bluntly said and you nearly spit your coffee back into the cup. 

„Well thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself.“ you chuckled. 

„No I meant it. I like you.“ okay this conversation is getting weird. 

„I like you too, Hap. Everything’s okay?“ your asked a bit concerned. 

„Go on a date with me! Tonight, I’ll pick you up.“ this made you laugh until you noticed the pained expression on his face. 

„Wait. You’re being serious?“ you walked closer up to him so you were standing right in front of him. 

„I’m trying to flirt here women! God damn! Forget everything that I said!“ he wanted to walk away but you stopped him as you grabbed his arm. 

„Are you really flirting with me?“ you looked him dead in the eye. 

„Oh so you finally noticed.“ it was pure sarcasm in his voice. 

„C‘mon Happy. You have to admit your flirting game isn’t really strong. And yes.“ now it was his turn to be confused. 

„Yes?“ 

„Yes! I’ll go on a date with you.“ you kissed his cheek. „And now go. I need some more sleep. I’ll see you tonight.“ 

„Oh little girl you will need a lot sleep for what I planned for you.“ he said more to himself as you were walking back into your bedroom. 

[zsocca55]

this might be a weird question, but do you have any opinions on Hungary's characterization or anything that annoys you about her character/anything you find fitting about her character?

Thank you for the question!

I thought about it and wondered if you meant Hidekaz’s characterization or the fandom characterization, so in the end I collected a few thoughts on both. (I’m a history teacher graduate by the way so I feel like I have more insight than an average person but my opinion is still just an opinion and not something that should be taken too seriously.)

Hidekaz’s characterization of Hungary: I find this approach quite appropriate. The whole story about ‘Hungary thinking she was a boy and then found out she is in fact not’ works surprisingly well with the way our historians describe how Hungary used to be a serious power in Central Europe until the second half of Middle Ages came and she somehow got stuck behind. Simply put, the male countries around her grew stronger as puberty hit, haha.

But from a historian point of view, Hungary is considered a very masculine nation in characteristics, even today. And this is shown in the series too.

Also her emotional, easy to anger and aggressive nature fits Hungarians quite well. One thing is slightly off though: Hungarians are not this happy-go-lucky on a daily basis. In the series she is shown as somewhat an optimist with a bright smile on her face all the time. Meanwhile in reality, even we admit is, we are pessimistic, hard to approach, borderline gloomy, and we complain a lot. You could say an average Hungarian is whiny. Bad habit, and we often call ourselves out for it. We have a harsh tongue and we critique ourselves a lot. (And other nations too if they hurt us in some way. Oh and we hold grudges forever. We don’t forget. We will bring it up. Again and again.)

Hungary’s realtionship with other nations is also an interesting thing in the series. Historically, we have very little to do with Prussia. Germany is an other case, as Hungarians tend to worship germans for some reason (if something is german-made it surely is the best etc.) and we show unique respect towards them when they visit our country.

Poland is a beloved nation, our best friend, as we have often fought for each other and refused to attack the other during world wars. But this isn’t shown in the series at all. I miss this, as Hungarian-Polish interactions happen on a daily basis, especially in the online world. This missed opportunity is the biggest disappointment I find regarding Hungary’s interactions.

Lets not forget Austria too, as he deserves a spot in our history books....yeah, he takes a lot of pages. Here is another little mischaracterization in our relationship: Hungarians and Austrians had a love-hate thing with each other. Austria was controlling, Hungary was rebellious. But in the end, when Austria was in trouble, we would dive headfirst into battle and save him, or just intentionally miss opportunities to backstab him. Hungary wanted her freedom but she also never wanted to quit his Empire. It’s....complicated? We are fascinated with him, though. One could say an average Hungarian envies an average Austrian and wishes they could live there. We also call them “in-laws” for being family. They call us their “favorite neighbours” and sometimes refer to us as family too.

That thing about generally not liking Romanians is true as well. Ugly things happen even nowadays. It’s all because of Transylvania. It’s a touchy topic.

So yeah, all in all, her character and her relationships are more or less on spot.

Fandom characterization of Hungary: The palette is broad, so I try to point out the most prominent trends I’ve noticed.

Aside from the fact that her gender role is all over the place, people like to think in extremes so she is either written as the girliest girl or an overconfident tomboy. In my opinion she is neither. She has embraced her femininity but she also knows her strength and isn’t afraid to show it. No need to overthink that.

As for historical accuracy, I noticed that an average fan usually doesn’t do enough background check when writing her character. It’s not like I say someone’s required to read a whole history book just to get her character right, but at least her correct name (which is one of the sore points for me) and the main national traumas should be kept in mind before writing Hungary. These are the things that had shaped her way of thinking and these are what make her tick. Even today, Hungarians are quick to get offended when their national traumas get ignored or disrespected. These traumas are: Ottomans (Turkey), Habsburgs (Austria), Soviets (Russia) and the worst of all Trianon. So when writing interactions with her and these characters listed, one should thread carefully and do some research.

Otherwise, I find the slightly mischievous, soul of the party characterization of her appealing and on point. Hungarians aren’t all that bad, we know how to get some fun afterall! :D

But again, everything is up to interpretation and there is some place for author’s creativity too! I hope I answered your question! :)

[idontknowwhattomakemyurllol]

Bakugou, comfort fan fic

Summary : You and your ex just broke up. And you didn’t leave your room for a week. Bakugou wasn’t having any of it, and took you out.

Warning (?) : Not the best writing

 A/N : Hi hi hi, Blinky here. So uhm..I made this a few days ago and I didn’t copyread it so if it’s REALLY sucky I’m sorry T_T. I hope you still enjoy though :D!

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Bakugou’s POV:

‘That weirdo isn’t here again.’ the blond male thought to himself, as he scanned the common room area of the Class-1A dormitory. ‘Sigh…Y/N must really be having a hard time..” Raccoon eyes sighed Bakugou’s ears perked up at the sound of your name. “Yeah..They haven’t left their room in a while…” Round cheeks added. Sipping from her boba tea. “Didn’t they just breakup-” the invisible girl was cut off by the two other girls “Shhhhhhh!! Y/N didn’t tell us if they were comfy with saying that info!!” Raccoon eyes shushed. “Gah-! Sorry…!” Hagakure apologized.

As they continued to worry about Y/N’s well being. Wondering if they should go check up on them. Bring them some food. Comfort them. Or all the above. Bakugou got his phone, and texted you.  

 Your POV:

 Memories of screaming and shouting and tears played through your mind as you clutched onto your pillow. The breakup. You and your lo-..I mean..Ex,broke up about a week ago. Was it a week..? You don’t know. It felt like forever. Yet the pain didn’t go away. You slowly woke up, and sat upright. The room was dark. Only a little bit of light coming in through the small gap between the dark colored curtains. But then you noticed another source of light. Your phone. Someone sent you a text. You picked up the phone to see who it was. And you never thought you’d see the day where he of all people would text you this, let alone text you at all!

Sparky sparky boom boom man ;

Oi. You idiot. Why didn’t you come out of your fucking room again? Those dumbasses are beginning to worry you know.

Bakugou Katsuki. THE. BALUGOU. KATSUKI. Asking if you were okay? Well-- he isn’t really but you can tell he was somewhat worried. If he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be texting you,

Y/N :

Sorry Bakugou. I still don’t feel too well.

You replied, and in the skip of a heartbeat he texted back.

Sparky sparky boom boom man:

I’m omw.

..You read the text aloud. “I’m on my way..?” you asked yourself. You took a minute to process what those words meant. “..Wait…” your e/c eyes stared at the phone in disbelief. “HE’S COMING OVER?!?!”

Third Person POV :

He got you some breakfast and started walking towards your room. “Hey! Bakubro! Where are you going?” Shitty hair- I mean. Kirishima, asked. “IT’S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS SHITTY HAIR!” Bakugou snarled and began stomping towards your room.

Bakugou knocked on your bedroom door -more like banged his fist against the door-. “Hey, Let me in.” he demanded. No response. His eye twitched. “Oi oi oi…Don’t tell me you’re just gonna leave me out here.” ..Nothing. He realized what he said could make you not want him in your room even more. He sighed, trying to calm down at least a little bit. “Look. I’ll only be doing this once. So if you don’t let me in now. I won’t help ever again. Including your homework shit.” he lied. Of course he would still help you. He-…No he didn’t…He just saw you as a good rival and wanted to make you even better. The better you are. The more challenging you are to fight.

“I’m gonna count to three. And if the door isn’t open by then. I’m leaving.” He stated, “One..Two..” then the door made a click noise. And his vermilion looked down to see you. Your h/c hair was a mess. And you were wearing a gray hoodie. “H-Hey Bakugou..” you muttered. He huffed, “You look like shit.” you laughed. “I know..” you agreed. You then looked at the plate of food he was holding. “Thanks for bringing food. I needed it haha,,” you reached out for the food. But he just lifted his hand higher to a height you couldn’t reach. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “You thought I was just gonna give you food then leave?” he asked. Your eyes widened. “Uhm..Maybe..?” you laughed nervously.

“Move.” he demanded. You tried to close the door, but then he stopped you with his one hand. “Heh. That was a bit rude don’t you think?” he teased. But then looked at you. And saw the look on your face. He then realized this could’ve been the wrong choice. “..Sorry” he mumbled and handed you your food. “What..?” you stared at the food. Then looked back up at him. “I said I’m sorry okay! I..I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” he averted his gaze. He..Was apologizing to you? He. HE-..Said sorry..?

You smiled and took the plate, “It’s alright. It’s just..’ You looked at your room. “My room is a mess right now..You’d get even more pissed..” He looked at you. “Now I just wanna get in there even more.” he complained. You thought about whether or not you should let him in. He won’t get that mad right?

You let him in. And God were you worried with anticipation. Just waiting for him to lecture you about keeping your room clean or something like that. But no. He just kept quiet as his eyes trailed along the room. Which may I add, DID NOT MAKE YOUR FEAR ANY BETTER. He finally sighed. And said “Go sit and eat. I’ll clean this fucking mess.” and he began to pick up one of the clothes on your floor. “E-EH!? Y-YOU DON’T HAVE TO IT’S OKA-” “JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME DO THIS.” he barked back, as he crouched down and put it around his arm. You did as he said and ate your food, and tried to make sure he doesn’t catch you staring.

He had this look on his face. It..Wasn’t that pissed off angry face. It looked a bit like that but..It felt somewhat different. He looked a bit worried..? Sad even..? God. You’re probably overthinking it. Just don’t think about it, Y/N! You shouted at yourself. But as soon as you did. You remembered the breakup. And tears began to prickle at your eyes. But you wiped it off as soon as you realized you were about to sob. You turned to him, hoping he didn’t see. And he had his back turned against you, and was entering the bathroom. “I’m gonna look for the laundry basket. I’ll be back” he said, then rummaged through the bathroom.

He saw you. He saw those tears. But he didn’t say anything-- Yet anyway.

After you had finished eating. He finished cleaning the room a bit. It wasn’t full on cleaning since he would have to sweep the floor and dust the dirt and etc but hey, it looked better than before!

“Thanks Bakugou. I’m sorry you had to do this..” you thanked the explosion boy. “Yeah yeah. It was no problem. Now get dressed we’re going out.” he turned to leave but you stopped him. “Huh? What do you mean?” you question. “What does it sound like? You haven’t left your room in a while and I can tell you’re getting lazy again. So we’re gonna go out for a walk. You understand?” he explained. “O-Oh. Okay..” You trailed off. “Where will we be going?” “Don’t ask. Just get dressed. And you better take a bath okay?” he said and closed the door. 

A little later you took a bath. Combed your hair -you had a bit of a hard time with that-.Got a bag and filled it with things you need. And wore some casual clothes, You then heard a knock on your door, and as expected it was Bakugou. He glanced but walked away immediately. “Hurry up. I won’t wait all day for you.” And you ran after him

. As the two of you entered the common room. Eyes stared at you and the blond. Some began asking if you were okay. Others teased and asked If you were going on a date, then the small portion minded their own business and didn’t say anything. Bakugou raised a middle finger to those who were asking if you two were going on a date, you told those who asked about your well being that you were okay. And you two were off. To wherever Bakugou said you would go.

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You stared in awe at the scene in front of you. Sparkles in your eyes as you read the sign. Bakugou tried to contain the smile on his face. But he couldn’t help it. Not when you looked so happy. “This..This is…” you began. Bakugou forced himself to make his usual grumpy face. “It’s a damn dog cafe.” he stated the obvious. You ran in the cafe and grinned, looking at all of the puppies inside. One immediately running towards you. As you crouched down and cooed at the small creature. Bakugou tsked, and walked toward the counter. Asking for a menu. Since he won’t really be playing with the dogs, “OI! Do you wanna eat anything?” You were swarmed with puppies. A LOT of puppies were gathering around you. And you were loving it. And so was Bakugou. He loved seeing that smile on your face. Although he would never admit it. He ordered you some fries and the lady asked, :”Is she your girlfriend?” Bakugou turned red and yelled no. Then stomped to a nearby table. The lady chuckled in amusement.

Bakugou grumpily sat down. Arms crossed as he muttered insults. Boyfriend. The word played through his head. He snapped out of it and scolded himself. He can’t date you. Not yet anyw- no never, nope nope nope- “Bakugou!” you called for him, and his heart pounded against his chest a little bit more than usual. You were now sitting on the floor. Your eyes sparkling like stars from the galaxy. Your smile warm and bright. “You’re not gonna play with the puppies?: you pouted, holding a puppy up to him. It’s puppy dog eyes staring at him. “No. I don’t play with dogs.” he said, about to pull out his phone. Before you hastily put the puppy around your arm, and used the other arm to hold his hand. Catching his attention. “Pleeeaaaseee? It’s fun! I swear!” you begged. And he blushed. “Ugh! Fine! If It will stop you from making that annoying face then..Fine!” he got out of the chair, and sat next to you. “And stop holding my hand!” he quickly pulled his hand away from you as you simply laughed at his aggressiveness. And placed the puppy on his lap.

You were always like this..You always laughed it seemed. And for some reason, it felt like music to his ears every time he heard it. He patted the small creature on his lap. He sneakily took his phone from his photo, and took a picture of you. And you didn’t notice. You looked..Beautiful. He caught himself thinking that, and tried to ignore the feeling again.

The food soon came and you whined, not wanting to let the puppies go. It took him awhile but after threatening to finish your fries you agreed. You looked at the puppies longingly. And he couldn’t help but chuckle. Then you two began to talk about whatever came to mind. Stupid new trends. School. Homework. Your love for dogs. Anything to keep your mind off your ex. And it seemed to be working. Or at least he hoped it did.

After you finished eating, you immediately went back to the puppies. Still somewhat keeping the conversation with Bakugou, just distracted by the puppies. He then finished his meal, and you two had to leave, And Bakugou caught a glimpse of the same lady giving him a thumbs up.

“So..Where are we going now?” you asked. As you two walked around the mall. “..Shopping.” he blurted out. He didn’t think he would make it this far. You tiled your head in confusion, “What was that?”. He grumbled “We’re going shopping..I swear your deaf.” he mumbled. And shoved his hands in his pockets. “OOh~! Shopping!!” you smiled. “I wonder what the oh so great King Explosion Murder is looking for?” you teased. “Shut up or I’m leaving you alone.” he began to walk faster. And you hurriedly chased him.

You two looked at a lot of stores. You two looked at clothes, stationary, stuffed toys, -all might- merch, skin care, etc. You bought a few of the said items, and walked out of the mall drained. “God. Why did you drag me to so many stores?” Bakugou groaned. “Huh?! You were the one dragging me around!!” you shot back at him. As you two sat down on a bench. “I’m not the one who went into a store full of stuffed animals and gushed over how cute they were for a long damn time!” he said, expecting for your response. Until he noticed you went quiet. He glanced at you, noticing that you were looking at something- rather, someone. He followed your gaze and saw your ex with their group of friends. He grit his teeth, but turned his attention back to you.

He was not having it. He stood up. Grabbed your wrist. And pulled you away, “B-Bakugou? Where are we-” “Don’t ask. Just follow me.” he replied. And picked up the pace. And you followed suite.

He then stopped when you were a good distance away from them. And looked at you. Then at the place he wanted to go. He sighed, and gave you the few bags he was holding. “Take them.” and as you did as he asked, he bent down a little and made his back face you. “Get on.” “What..?” “I said get on.” he growled and glared at you. You hesitantly got on and he stood straight. And off you two were. Flying. In the air.

…Flying..

 .......

You..YOU WERE FLYING-

 After a short trip. You were finally at your final stop. A fricking mountain. You swiftly got off of Bakugou and gazed at the beautiful view. The sun was setting. And you could see the city from here. “Woah..” is all you could say. It was..An amazing sight to see. Bakugou put the bags down next to a tree and walked over to you. “You like it?” he questioned, and you nodded. “It’s..Pretty..” not as beautiful as you. He said, in his brain of course. “Mm. I come here ever once in a while. I usually run up the mountain but I still got my exercise.” he commented. “I see.” you replied. Not wanting to say much.

He bit his lip. Wondering if he should really go through with the plan. “If you want. You could scream all of your emotions out here you know>” you faced him, and wondered if he was serious. “I..Do that when I’m feeling stressed sometimes. It doesn’t fully help but it gives some sort of comfort.” he added, his ruby eyes glowing.”I know you bottle up your feelings you damn nerd. And thats not fucking healthy. So,,If you want to. Just..Scream and yell it all out.”

The offer sounded nice. But you weren’t sure if you should or not. He sighed. Then suddenly yelled which made you flinch. “Like that. See? Wasn’t that hard.” he smirked. You took a step. And took a deep breath in. And yelled.

You yelled, and you screamed, and cried and everything. You got angry, and you got sad. You let all of the things you wanted to say go. You let everything out.

And by the end of it. Your voice was hoarse. As you cried, Bakugou didn’t think this through, so he wasn’t sure on what he should do. But he pat your shoulder, and pulled you in.

“I..Don’t know what to say other than..You’re not allowed to give up. Cause I’m the one who will defeat you and become number one. So until then..Be strong. And fight everyone who gets in your way.” he pat your head. “B-But..I’m so..Weak..” you sniffled. “You know that’s pretty insulting. Since I’m the one who helps you train. No rival of mine is fucking weak.’ he pulled you in closer.

 “You’re not weak. You got that, dumbass.” you nodded. “Good.”

[luke-patterson-owns-my-soul]

Hey Jealousy – Part One.

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Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Summary: The reader and Charlie grew up together, were the best of friends. It didn’t work well for her having boyfriends until she goes to college. Is her best friend jealous, or is everyone imagining things?

Requested: Yes / No

TW: Swearing, implies sexual intercourse, swearing, drinking Author’s notes: I had a weird dream (non-sexual) about an ex of mine and trying to make Charlie jealous (as you do), and this idea came from that. Whether it makes any sense at all remains to be seen.

Acknowledgements: The gorgeous @dream-a-little-bigger-x listened to me waffle on about this and read through most of it for me. Thank you my love.

Pairing: Fem Reader x Charlie Gillespie (eventually)

Words: 10,076

I have no idea when I’ll be posting Part Two as I am yet to write it... but I was way too impatient to sit on this. 

Growing up being the best friend of Charles Gillespie was equal parts the best and worst thing. The best because he was genuinely the nicest guy, ever. He was outgoing, inclusive of everyone, and so much fun to be around. Charlie never sat still, didn’t do well with being bored, so it meant we made a lot of memories together along with our other friends.

The worst because for some reason, being best friends with a guy was off putting to other guys. Hanging out with Charlie ninety percent of the time seemed to prevent them approaching me. Even when I made it obvious I liked them, they seemed too scared to speak to you beyond a ‘hi’ or a ‘how you doin’?’. Charlie never seemed to notice how frustrated I was.

When Charlie moved to Toronto to follow his dreams of becoming an actor, it felt as if I’d lost a limb. I’d known him my entire life, had been friends for the whole time, had gone through all our firsts together, and with him not around, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Admittedly, I was starting college just over the border in the US so there was that to keep me busy, but it wasn’t the same. Moving away from home, not having him with me, laughing at the other freshmen to help relieve my nerves. But I was alone and had no idea what I was doing.

Once I’d found my dorm room, I sat on the bed, surrounded by bags and boxes, and pulled my phone out of my bag. I needed my best friend right now, despite knowing he was probably out at auditions. I pull up my favorite contacts and tap on Charlie’s name, hoping he’ll be able to answer.

“Hey. I only have five minutes. How did the move go? Is your roommate cool? Any guys took your fancy? Have you had a chance to look around yet?” Eventually he stopped asking questions long enough to take a breath, letting me finally cut in to speak.

“Jesus Christ, Gillespie. I know you don’t have long, but do you really need to pepper me with so many questions? Don’t answer that otherwise I’ll never get to say anything.” I take a shaky breath and slowly start answering his questions. By the time I finish filling him on my day so far, he’s grinning at me.

“Sounds great, Trouble. I’m really pleased for you.” I rolled my eyes at his use of the nickname he gave me when we were seven and I punched a boy in the nose for tripping Charlie over and laughing at him cutting his chin on a small rock. “So, what do you have planned for the rest of the day?”

“I have some orientation thing, then I don’t know. Maybe just chill in my room, get to know my roommate when they finally get here.”

“Hey, listen. I gotta go. But I’ll call you when I get back to the apartment so you can tell me more. Especially if your roommate’s pretty.”

“You’re such a fucking horndog, Gillespie. Love you.”

“Love you too, Trouble.”

My ‘don’t call me that’ died on my lips as the call ended and the photo of Charlie and me camping at the Bay of Fundy a couple years back that had been my wallpaper since his sister took it filled the screen. My happiness of speaking to him faded as I realized I was alone, again.

:: ::

I had been at college for three months, and I was almost at the end of my first semester. Charlie was busy with filming a show he’d booked. I knew nothing about 2nd generation, but he was so excited, I couldn’t help but be so happy for him. We spoke most days and texted so much that all my friends thought we were dating. No matter how much I told them we were only friends, no one ever believed me.

The wall above my desk was covered in photos of the two of us and our other friends, and your roommate, Lena, was obsessed with him.

“Honey, if you ain’t tapping that, if he ever comes to visit, I’m stepping up.” She’d told me the first time she looked at a photo of Charlie. Every time the two of us facetimed, and she was in the room with me, she would butt in and flirt outrageously with him. I would laugh at him flirting back, enjoying the fact my two closest friends, one old and one new, got along.

I’d found it easier to settle into college life than I expected without having him with me. Maybe, if I was honest, him not being around was possibly the reason I was finding it easier. As much as I loved him and having him around, having something that was just for me meant something special.

I’d just finished a class and was walking across the quad when my phone rang in my bag, Charlie’s ringtone blared out. He’d picked En Vogue’s Whatta Man when we were about thirteen because ‘Trouble, it just describes me perfectly’. I’d just never got around to changing it, and now it always made me smile whenever I heard it.

“Hey, Trouble.” A groan and an eyeroll. “Whatcha doin’?”

“I just finished my classes for the day. I’m going for coffee with Lena. How’s things over there?”

“Yeah, we’re going strong.” There was a lot of indistinct background noise I couldn’t identify behind him, and it was hard to hear him. He hadn’t facetimed, which was strange, but it was probably a flyby call while he was waiting for a scene to be set up, or whatever actors did. I had no clue despite him telling me multiple times.

“That’s great.” As I walked beside Lena who was making kissy faces at me as Charlie and I spoke, I couldn’t help but smile at hearing his voice. It wasn’t the same as having him with me in person, but it was the best we’d have until Christmas break.

“Look, give me five and call me back. I just gotta speak to someone real quick.” Before I could answer, he cut the call.

“Well, that was the quickest call I’ve ever seen you two have.” Lena commented, a small smile on her face.

“He wants me to call him back in five.” It was typical Charlie, start something, then expect me to finish it.

“I swear, you speak to him more than your family.” She wasn’t wrong.

“He’s kind of like my security blanket. He talks me off the edge whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed and stuff. He’s never judged me for the way I overthink, and he’s so easy to be with.”

“I swear, if I didn’t know better, I would think you’re in love with him.”

“I do love him. He’s like the brother I never wanted and often get frustrated with, but I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”

“Uh huh…” She didn’t need to elaborate. She’d been saying the same thing since our first day. She was insistent that there was more to mine and Charlie’s relationship than there was. I was used to her by now and was able to ignore it now. “You better phone him back.” She reminded me as we neared the campus coffee shop. With a smile, I hit call on his contact.

Behind me, the sound of P!nk’s Trouble, my ringtone on Charlie’s phone rang out. Confusion washed over me as Lena started laughing. I spun round to see Charlie leaning up against a tree, a wide smile on his face.

I cut the call and ran over to him, throwing myself at him. As always, he caught me, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me in tight against his body.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked when he finally placed my feet back on the ground below me.

“I have the weekend off, so I drove down to see my best girl,” he looked at Lena with a smile, “and you, Trouble.” I punched him in the arm as he pulled my roommate into a hug.

“Remind me why I keep you around?” I asked him as the three of us entered the coffee shop.

“Because you adore this pretty face.” I rolled my eyes as we found a table after making our orders.

“You keep telling yourself that, Gillespie.”

:: ::

For the entire weekend, I showed Charlie around the campus and took him to parties. We got wasted, he enjoyed meeting my friends, but my favorite moment was on the Sunday when it was just the two of us, about a half hour outside of town, walking along a hidden trail.

“Trust you to find this place. I never even knew it was here.”

“You need to take more time for yourself, away from campus. Remember what it’s like to just be.”

“Do you get much of a chance to do that?” I asked as we walked, our arms brushing together the way they always did whenever we spent time together.

“Not as much as I like, but I try to get out at least once a week. It’s not the same though, not without you.” I looked up at him and saw a softness to his face not many people got to see.

“I’ve missed you, you big goof.”

“I’ve missed you too, Trouble.”

“You gotta stop calling me that.” I rolled my eyes, making him laugh and nudge at me with his shoulder.

“Never gonna happen, kiddo.”

“Kiddo? For fuck’s sake, Gillespie. You’re like two months older than me. You’re not exactly drawing your pension just yet.”

“It all counts.” He lifted his wrist and looked at his watch. “I better head back to my car and start heading back. I’ve got an early call in the morning.”

My heart sank at his words. I’d known the entire weekend he couldn’t stay forever and as we turned around to walk back the way we came, I felt a feeling of sadness wash over me.

“Hey, don’t do that.” He scolded me.

“Do what?”

“Fold in on yourself. We’ll both be home for Christmas.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve just enjoyed having your ugly face around.”

“Ugly? You wound me.”

“Whatever.”

Silence fell over us as we continued walking, and the closer we got to the parking lot, the sadder I became at having to say goodbye to him again. He took hold of my hand, interlinking our fingers the way we always did.

Finally, we reached his car and came to a standstill next to it.

“Thank you for coming to see me. I needed this weekend.”

“I’ll always be there when you need me.” I knew he meant it too. He always did.

“I know. It’s one of the main reasons I adore you.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed him tight. I wasn’t ready to let him go, but knew I had to. Knew I had to carry on with this new chapter of my life that didn’t revolve around our friendship, knew he needed to get back to work and forge his way in his chosen career.

“Love you, Trouble.” He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before pulling away from our hug and unlocking his car. “Gonna miss you.”

“Gonna miss you more. Let me know when you’re back, so I don’t worry.”

“I promise.”

Lena walked to stand beside me as I watched Charlie climb into his car and pull away. We stood and watched him drive away until I couldn’t see his car anymore.

“That boy is in love with you.” I ignored her as I turned to walk back to our dorm. “Just as much as you are with him.”

:: ::

Christmas break had been crazy. My large family and the Gillespie family always mixed for the holiday, and it was always loud, full of laughter, and more than a little raucous. It was my favorite time of the year.

This year was no different, but it was over all too soon, and I barely saw Charlie. He got back home on Christmas Eve, and had to leave again the day after Christmas Day thanks to reshoots and stuff I didn’t really understand. Most of my time had been spent with his sister, Megan, but there was a hole in my celebrations. A Charlie-sized hole.

He didn’t even make it back home for New Year, and I saw in midnight on the back porch of my parent’s house alone, a glass of champagne untouched next to me. I’d tried facetiming him, but my calls had gone unanswered.

Arriving back at college was a relief, and the holiday period had made me realize I’d become so co-dependent on my best friend, I was holding myself back from living my life.

“Hey bitch, how was Mr. Tallish, dark, and gorgeous?” Lena asked as we both unpacked from our vacations.

“Busy. I hardly saw or spoke to him.” I could hear the bitterness in my own voice and hated it, but I also kind of didn’t care.

“I’m sorry, babe. How about we head out to a ‘welcome back’ party, get dressed up, and break some hearts?”

After thinking about it for a split second, I grinned and agreed.

“Fuck it. Why not?”

Usually, campus parties were casual affairs; sweats and tank tops, but the flyers about this one was emblazoned with the words ‘dress to impress’, so Lena and I went all out.

Walking across campus in my favorite LBD and a pair of amazing stiletto pumps, I felt like I could conquer the world. I’d made an effort with my hair and makeup, and when Lena was ready, we’d taken a shit ton of selfies, posting them on Instagram. It was amazing what getting dressed up did for a girl’s self-esteem.

“Honey, when Charlie sees those photos on insta, he’s gonna be calling you like crazy.”

“Well, it’s a shame my phone is on silent in my purse, then. Tonight is for me and you to have a great time.”

“And maybe try and get over one guy with another?”

“Lena, I don’t need to get over Charlie. He’s my best friend, and I adore him. But that’s all it is.”

As we entered the party – in a frat house, naturally – I couldn’t help but be impressed with how dressed up everyone was. I followed Lena through the crowd into the kitchen where we managed to grab some drinks.

“Yeah, okay. You keep telling yourself that. I can only go by what my eyes show me, and there is more going on between you two than either of you want to admit.” I opened my mouth to say something, but she cut me off. “I’ll shut up now. Let’s go, Momma’s in the mood for dancin’.”

I didn’t see Lena for three days after the party. She’d met some guy and had spent the entire time in his bed. It had been nice to have the room to myself as I caught up with movies and TV shows on Netflix I had missed over the holiday period. By the time classes started back up, she was back and seriously study mode.

“John was asking after you again today.” She told me two weeks back into classes as we walked in the wintery sunshine to get some lunch.

“Oh.” I had no idea who John was, but I was going along with it.

“You don’t remember him, do you?”

“No clue, sorry.”

After gasping, she proceeded to fill me on John. Apparently, I’d danced with him a lot at the frat party. He was six feet tall, well built, but not huge, and had a hint of red hair. None of it was ringing any bells, but seeing as she was sleeping with his roommate, she saw him regularly.

“How can you not remember him? you were all over him.”

“Lena, I’d almost drank my weight in tequila, I would have been impressed if I’d remembered my own name, never mind someone else’s.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket. After tapping on the screen for a couple of minutes, she turned it so I could see.

The guy on screen was gorgeous. Piercing green eyes that reminded me of the forest near my house, and a wide, friendly smile.

“Judging by that reaction, you’d have no problems coming out with us tonight? Nothing heavy, just a few drinks and some food.”

“I wouldn’t be averse to food and drinks.” Laughing at my answer, she linked our arms and steered me into our favorite sandwich bar.

:: ::

The first meeting turned into a first date, then a second, a third, and before I’d even realized, John and I were dating, and it had been three months since that first meeting that I could remember. He was easy going and fun to be around, plus he loved being outside rather than cooped up in a room with another person. Especially when that person was his roommate who was often making out for hours with my roommate. We spent a lot of time on the hidden trail I’d discovered with Charlie, often taking a blanket so we could have a picnic under the lush canopy of trees.

John was a photography major, and never went anywhere without his camera – unless there was going to be alcohol – and my photo wall in my room was soon full of photos of the two of us, of me and Lena, and random things he saw that made him think of me. I had never been tagged in so many photos of me sober on Instagram in my life, and I loved every minute of our time together, but while I was happy, and living my best life there was still something missing. A 5,8” dark haired something.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spoken to Charlie for longer than five minutes, and never mind an actual facetime call. He’d finished up with 2nd Generation and had gone back home for a few weeks. I’d seen photos of him and his family, mostly his cousin Madi, doing the things I would usually be doing with them. Spring break was coming up, and while most of my friends were planning crazy trips down to Florida or Mexico, all I wanted to do was to go home.

“Hey, what are you doing for Spring Break?” I asked John as we lay tangled together in my bed, a sheen of sweat on both of our skin.

“I haven’t made any plans yet, why?”

“Fancy coming to Canada?”

:: ::

Pulling up in the drive outside my parent’s house, I look over at John in the passenger seat. He looked nervous as hell which made me chuckle. I unclipped my belt and leaned over to give him a quick kiss.

“Stop panicking. It’s going to be fine.” I told him. My parents were looking forward to meeting him. “I should be the nervous one. I’ve never brought a guy home before.”

“What? Never? Not even in high school?” I shook my head. “What about your prom date?”

“Me and Charlie went to prom together. We did everything together, and it stopped guys asking me out and stuff. So yeah…” I drifted off, realizing that this was my first relationship, my first boyfriend.

“That’s cool. Come one, let’s get this over with so we can both calm down.” He gave me another kiss before getting out of the car, retrieving our bags from the trunk. By the time I’d got out, he was standing beside me, holding out his hand. I took hold of it and led him to the house.

“Mom, dad? Anyone?” The house was silent when I let us in, John dropping our bags on the floor in the entry. “Hello? Favorite daughter is home for a week.”

“Only daughter you mean.” My younger brother, Tyler came bounding down the stairs, skidding to a stop when he saw John standing next to me.

“Okay, I wasn’t expecting that.” I glared at him. “I mean, I’ve seen photos and shit, but I didn’t expect you to be so big. Nice to meet you, man.” Tyler held out his hand for John to shake, which he did, chuckling at my brother’s lack of brain to mouth filter.

“Ty, where is everyone?”

“Out in the yard. Dad’s cleaning off the barbecue and mom’s making sure he does it right.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Not that I expected it to, but nothing had changed. Tyler took off through the house out into the back yard where my family were waiting.

“Ready for a trial by fire?” I asked John, looking up at him, smiling.

“Best to get it over and done with.”

Turning my whole body so I was fully facing him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes to give him a kiss.

“They’re gonna love you, I promise.” I murmured against his plump lips. He took a deep breath, gave me another quick kiss, and untangle me from him.

“Let’s do this.”

Once again, with our hands linked, I led the way, this time through the house I’d grown up in and out into the large back yard. Which was full of people, not just my family. Of course, the Gillespies were here too.

As John and I came to a stop on the ack porch, I cast my eyes across the space before me, looking for Charlie. It was a mixture of habit and wanting to see him, but I couldn’t find him.

“He’s not here.” Megan had jogged over and pulled me into a hug so she could whisper into my ear. Her words caused a wave of sadness to wash over me. “And we finally get to meet this guy who is all over your insta?” She grinned at John; her smile achingly similar to that of her brother.

“John, this is Megan, the little sister I never wanted, but got stuck with anyway.” As the two of the chatted, the three of us moved down into the garden so I could introduce my boyfriend to everyone.

:: ::

John had been stolen away by my dad, Tyler, and Charlie’s dad, leaving me to spend time with my mom. We sat on her favorite garden seat, watching everyone in silence for a few minutes before she turned to me.

“He’s nice. I can see why you like him so much.” I looked at her, waiting. Eventually, I realized she wasn’t going to say it.

“But? I know there’s a but in there somewhere.”

“No, no but.” She was lying, I could tell by the way her voice was at least an octave higher than usual.

“Mom. You can be honest with me, I’m not gonna bite your head off.”

“I just worry you’re rushing things. At college everything so… intense, and you’re constantly aware of it ending, that you’ll be leaving that part of your life behind you one day. What then?”

“I-we-I…” I didn’t have a coherent answer for her. She wasn’t wrong, but she’d also always told me that college was supposed to be the best time of my life, so why wouldn’t I spend it with someone I not only enjoyed being with, but who I was attracted too at the same time?

“Honey, I’m not trying to make you question things, I just want you to remember who you are and what you want in life.”

“Well, I want to be with John for now. Isn’t that enough?”

“If it is for you, it is for me.” She pulled me in for a hug. I loved my mom, but she’d confused me with our conversation. “You do realize your dad’s going to pitch a fit when he realizes you’re sharing a room.”

I stared at her. I’d assumed my parents would make him sleep in the spare room.

“Wait, what?”

“Sweetheart, neither of us are stupid. We know how things are at college, and as long as you’re being safe, I can’t tell you what to do anymore.”

Before I could say anything, Megan came over to pull me away. Arm in arm, we walked to the end of the garden, away from the house. Well, she led me, I merely went along with it.

“What’s up?” I asked her. Usually, she was a lot like her brother, constantly moving and talking, but now she was quiet and subdued. “Meg, seriously. You’re making me worried.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to get you on your own so we can talk about that gorgeous hunk you brought home.” Relief flooded through me and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Jesus Christ, you scared me.” We sat down on an old swing my dad had made when I was a kid and talked. She peppered me with questions about college, the guys, the parties, and most of all, about John. She was a senior in high school and couldn’t wait for her own college experience. She’d chosen to stay in Canada to study.

I answered all of her questions, but we were soon interrupted by our being called to finally get some food. I was starving and practically sprinted over to where my dad was piling food on a table laden with salad, fried, and all kinds of family favorites. As I loaded up my plate, John hovered next to me, doing the same.

“Oh, look what the cat dragged in.” Megan’s voice was loud, making me turn my head. Charlie was walking toward us, wearing his hiking gear grinning at us all. I put my plate down and ran at him, our usual greeting.

“Trust you to show when the food’s ready.” I grinned at him as we broke apart and went back to the table to retrieve my plate, pulling it out of Charlie’s reach as he tried to steal a rib. “Get your own, there’s plenty.”

“But we always share, Trouble.” I rolled my eyes.

“Not today, Gillespie. This is all mine, and I may even have seconds.” I stuck my tongue out at him. A throat clearing behind me reminded me John was still with me. “Oh hey, you can finally meet John.”

“Yeah, great to finally meet you, man.” Charlie shook my boyfriend’s hand, his smile still on his face, but I noticed it didn’t completely reach his eyes.

“You too.”

“Well, I’m hungry, catch up later?” As Charlie nodded, I led John away so others could help themselves, over to a table with my parents. Why had that been more awkward than I’d expected? As I sat down, I caught Megan watching me, a strange look on her face.

:: ::

As the sun began to set, and things began to wind down, I decided to take John for a walk around the neighborhood I grew up in. We left the house, hand in hand, and walked along the street, passing Charlie’s house. I averted my eyes from the building, not wanting to make John think my attention wasn’t all on him.

“It’s nice here, very calm.” He commented as we reached the end of the street. “I grew up in the city, and it never got this quiet.” When I looked up at him, he was smiling softly.

“Come on, there’s a great playground just up the road.” I led the way, tugging on his hand as a laugh escaped me.

As we sat on the swings, both of us swaying back and forth as the sun set around us, bathing the sky with a vibrant orange. It was my favorite part of the day, one that made me think back over what had happened and made me realize that a new day was coming, a new chance to experience life. Charlie and I had spent so much time as kids on these very swings at this time, reflecting on choices we’d made throughout the day.

At the thought of my best friend, a slight movement caught my eye. When I looked at the path leading to the gate of the play park, I could see a figure retreating. Despite not being able to see the person’s face, I knew it was him. His shoulders were hunched, and his hands were shoved into the pockets of his shorts. The sound of John’s camera taking photos distracted me and I looked away for a minute. When I looked back, my best friend was nowhere to be seen.

“Stop taking photos of me.” I groaned, knowing he wouldn’t.

“How can I? you’re the most beautiful thing around.” Standing, John walked over to me and took hold of the chains with side of me to still the movement of the swing. He stood between my legs and bent his head and captured my lips in a kiss that started off slow and soft, but soon turned heated.

Letting go of the chains, John managed to lift me off the swing, holding me against him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and my arms around his neck. Slowly, he began to walk across the playground, only stopping when he reached the large wooden playhouse I’d played in as a kid.

Putting me on my feet and letting go, he removed the camera from around his neck and placed it in a safe place before climbing into the playhouse, removing his shirt and placing it on the wooden boards. When he looked over at me, his green eyes which were usually the color of spring grass were now the color of a lush, dark forest.

“What? Here? Are you trying to soil my childhood memories?”

“Totally, now come here before I have to take matters into my own hands.” He palmed the bulge in his shorts, locking eyes with me. With a laugh that was huskier than I’d ever sounded, I climbed in after him and straddled his thighs.

:: ::

Waking up at the crack of dawn, wrapped in John’s strong arms, in my childhood bedroom should have felt weird. But it didn’t. I was warm and content, but as we had a busy day planned, I couldn’t stay in our little cocoon. We had a camping trip to get ready for.

I crawled out of his arms and dived into the bathroom for a quick shower. By the time I emerged wrapped in a towel, John was sat up in my bed, scrolling on his phone.

“Come on you, we’re going camping. Up and at ‘em.” I was excited. It had been far too long since I’d been down to Fundy and I couldn’t wait to get on the road.

“Babe, it’s not even 6a.m.” He groaned.

“Yeah, and? Come on. Need to fuel up with a good breakfast.” I pulled on some clothes and left the room, skipping down the stairs. ‘My dad had always been an early riser, so it was no surprise to find him in the kitchen holding a steaming cup of coffee as he read a book at the breakfast bar.

“Morning daddy.” I kissed his cheek as I passed him to get to the coffee pot.

“Morning, sweetheart. Sleep well?” I could hear the unasked question behind his actual question.

“Yes, like a log. Stop worrying about me, I’m not a little girl anymore.”

“Don’t I know it. Please, just tell-”

“Dad. Nothing happened last night. And even if it had, I would be careful. I’m not an idiot.”

“Could have fooled me.” Tyler interrupted us, grinning when I gave him the finger.

“Stop picking on your sister. And you,” he looked at me, “put that finger down.”

I laughed as I sipped at my coffee before telling them I was going out to grab the camping gear.

“I’ll go and make sure Charlie and Megan are up and ready.” Tyle put his own cup down and left the kitchen. I froze on the spot I stood in

Shit. I didn’t realize he’d invited them.

“Everything okay?” Dad asked.

“Yeah, just trying to work out what we need.” I lied before flashing him a quick smile. I could hear John coming downstairs. “Please, no interrogation.” I hissed at my dad. He drew a cross over his heart as my boyfriend entered the kitchen, his hair damp from the shower.

“Morning, sir.” He greeted my dad.

“Please, John. Sir was my father. Call me Frank like everyone else.”

After giving John a quick kiss, I went out to the shed to gather up everything we’d need for a couple of days down in Fundy.

An hour later, Tyler and I had expertly packed up the trunk of my car and were just about to climb in when Charlie and Megan pulled up in Charlie’s car.

“Ready to rock and roll?” He called out of his window, a wide grin on his face.

“You know it. Last one there buys lunch.” I called out our usual challenge as I jumped into the driver’s seat, Tyler urging John in as Charlie pulled away with a screech. Within minutes, the doors were closed, the engine started, and we were on our way.

“Is she always this competitive?” John turned to face my brother in the back seat as I turned the radio on, looking for something to sing along to.

“Only with Charlie, so yes. Constantly. They can make a contest out of everything.” I rolled my eyes.

“No I don’t.”

“Sis, I love you, but you do. You and Charlie are a fucking nightmare at times.”

“You’re talking bullshit.” I tried to change the subject, but Tyler was on a roll.

“Remember that time you two tried to eat more popping candy than the other and you ended up barfing all over yourself?”

“Really? You bring that up? I was fifteen, Ty. And I’d drank about a gallon of soda. It was the gas.”

“Whatever. What about the time when you-” I cut him off.

“That’s enough. Babe, did you go camping much growing up?” I looked at John who had gone quiet. He was looking out of the window, and it took me tapping him on the knee to get his attention.

“Nah, not really. I’m a city boy, so we didn’t really do the whole ‘great outdoors’ thing.”

“Not even on vacation?” Tyler asked.

“Nah, we did Disney and Universal, stuff like that.”

“Well, you’re in for a treat. This is our favorite place on Earth and your camera’s gonna get a good workout.” I smiled at him as I intertwined our fingers as I drove.

:: ::

Thanks to my brother have the bladder the size of a pea and three cans of soda, we arrived at our usual camping ground over half an hour after Charlie and Megan. They’d already set up their tent and were waiting for us as if they didn’t have a care in the world, music drifting softly from the stereo in his car.

“Tyler potty breaks, again?” Charlie asked, laughing.

“He travels back with you.” I grumbled as I opened the trunk and began to drag our gear out. Instantly, Charlie was on his feet, unfolding the tents to put them up with Tyler’s help.

“What do you need me to do?” John asked me.

“Take those coolers of food and drinks over to Megan. She’s always in charge of that stuff, makes sure we don’t live off candy and chips.”

I couldn’t help but watch the muscles in his back as he lifted the two coolers out of the trunk. He wasn’t overly muscly, but his form was impressive. I stood back and admired him for a minute.

“Hey, Trouble. Give me a hand with this. Your brother’s still useless.” Charlie called out.

By the time the tents were all up, one for Tyler, and one for me and John, we were all starving.

“Hey, losers. You owe us lunch.” Charlie called out, giving his sister a high five.

“Let me just get changed, and we’ll go.” In the middle of the camping ground was a café that served some of the best food. I ducked into the tent and changed my shirt and jeans for a bikini top and denim shorts. As I emerged from the small space, I pulled one of Charlie’s old cut off shirts over my head. “Right, let’s go and introduce John to poutine.

“What?”

“Oh, man. It’s the best.” Tyler slapped him on the back as he led the way. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie watch as John took hold of my hand.

:: ::

The sun was setting and the five of us were sitting around a campfire. Charlie had his guitar and he and Megan were singing some of their favorite songs. As always, I was blown away by their talent and how well their voices blended together. I’d always been a bit jealous of how musical the Gillespie family was. All of them sang, played instruments, and dance – well Charlie didn’t that well, but he always gave his all when his sister dragged him into it.

John sat next to me, his camera lifted up to his face as he took photo after photo, something he’d been doing all day. He’d told me he’d been blown away by the beauty of the place and that gave me a warm feeling, being able to share one of my favorite places with him.

“Hey, Trouble. Your turn.” Charlie handed me the guitar.

“Not tonight, Gillespie.” I was exhausted and it had been far too long since I’d played or sang. I knew I was never going to sound as good as him and Megan; I rarely did.

“Nope, you’re not getting out of it. Come on, you know you wanna.” He was egging me on, and knew I’d give in eventually.

“Come on, it’s tradition.” Megan joined in with the cajoling as Tyler called out his two cents worth. With a sigh, I took the guitar from Charlie and propped it on my knee.

“Any requests?” I asked.

“Under the Bridge.” The Red Hot Chili Peppers song was one of my favorites and I loved singing it.

“I didn’t know you played.” John sounded surprised.

“Yeah, Charlie taught me a few years ago. It’s been a while though and I’m rusty as hell because I never got my own guitar.” I ran my fingers down the strings before making myself a bit more comfortable. “Hey, you got a spare pick?” I asked Charlie. He reached into the pocket on the front of his soft guitar case before leaning over to hand me the small piece of plastic. I couldn’t help but laugh at the poop emoji design on it. I’d ordered him a bunch of them as part of his birthday present the previous year.

I ran through the song in my mind reminding me of the lyrics and chords before I began to play.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner

Sometimes I feel like my only friend

Is the city I live in, the city of angels

Lonely as I am, together we cry

I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion

I walk through her hills 'cause she knows who I am

She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy

Well, I never worry, now that is a lie

As I expected, Charlie joined in on the bridge, harmonizing with me. We’d always sang this song together. It had become a bit of a tradition at gatherings with our families and friends. As always when we sang together, Charlie and I locked eyes, a small smile on his face made me smile back as we sang. There was a connection between us when we sang, one that had been there from the day we became friends.

I don't ever wanna feel

Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love

Take me all the way

I don't ever wanna feel

Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love

Take me all the way

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Finally, the song came to an end and silence filled the air around us. Without saying anything, I handed the guitar and pick back to Charlie without looking at him. I leaned over, picked up my bottle of beer, and drained the last of it. For some reason, a weird feeling had come over me while we’d sung, and I didn’t know how to read it. In the end, I decided to ignore it and escape into my tent.

“I’m tired guys. I’m gonna turn in.” As I faked a yawn, I didn’t bother waiting for a response as I stood up, dropped the bottle in a trash bag, gave John a quick kiss, and crawled into my tent. As I stripped out of my hoodie and sweats and crawled into my sleep bag, Megan stuck her head through the flap.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just tired. It’s been a long day.” It hadn’t really, and she knew it hadn’t. We hadn’t done anything different to what we would normally in Fundy.

“Okay…”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Sure. Night.” With a small smile she disappeared from the opening of the tent, leaving me to settle down and try to get to sleep.

I was still wide awake when John crawled into the tent an hour or so later. He tried not to make too much noise as he stripped down to his boxers before getting into his own sleeping bag. The lamp hanging from the tent roof was turned on low, just about lighting up the space around us.

“Hey.” I kept my voice low, knowing from experience how the sound travelled at night.

“Hey.” He repeated as I turned to face him, propping myself up on one elbow.

“Have you had a good day?”

“It’s been great. I can see why you guys love it out here.

“Yeah, it’s great. We’re lucky having all this pretty much on our doorstep. I couldn’t imagine not being able to get out here. I bet you got some great shots.”

“I did. I can’t wait to get back and start editing them. Some should work well for school too.”

“Hey,” I dropped my voice even lower. “Wanna join the bags together and… snuggle?” I waggled my eyebrows at him in the dim lighting, making him smile softly.

“Not tonight. I’m so tired after all the hiking and swimming you guys made me do today.” He turned his head to look at me. “That okay?”

“Of course.” I leaned over and kissed him before getting comfortable again against his solid form. This time, I did fall asleep.

:: ::

When I woke up, the light was bright around me, despite being inside the tent. I was also alone. Sitting up, I wiped the sleep from my eyes and crawled out of the tent. John was sitting on his own, a cup of coffee cradled between his hands.

“Morning.” I press a kiss to his cheek as I sit down.

“Aren’t you cold?” he asks, looking at my bare legs. I’m still only in t-shirt I slept in.

“Not at all. It’s not that cold.” I chuckle as I pour myself a coffee. There’s a slight hint of steam in front of my face as I speak.

“It’s freezing, babe.”

“I’m Canadian, remember. This is a gorgeous spring morning.” I lean over and give him another kiss, this time it’s more than a simple and perfunctory peck. John’s hand cups the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair. When we pull apart, I notice he’s breathing a little heavier than he was before and it makes me grin.

“You’re crazy.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” Tyler’s voice surprises the both of us. When I turn, he’s standing over us, smirking at me.

“Uh… why am I suddenly nervous?” John asks my brother. They seem to have gotten on really well which pleases me. Tyler tipped me out of my seat before making himself comfortable in my place. Glaring at him, I moved around and sat on John’s lap.

“How are you with heights?” Tyler asks.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“How do you feel about deep water?”

I knew where this was going, so I decided to go and grab a shower in the shower block. As I ducked into the tent, I heard John exclaim.

“She does what?”

“Yeah, she and Charlie cliff dive.” I turned to look at John and laughed at the look of horror on his face. “It started out as a dare, of course, and now they do it every time we’re here.”

Leaving the two of them talking, I grab my washbag and take a walk over to the block of showers. Thankfully, there isn’t much of a queue and I’m able to snag one pretty quickly. The water’s not exactly hot, which means I don’t dawdle as I wash. Eventually, I emerge fully dressed, a towel wrapped around my hair and almost bump into Charlie.

“Woah, hey. You’re up late.” He commented, steadying me so I wouldn’t fall over.

“Not really.” It was barely 8 a.m., which to Charlie was practically a lie in. “I was up before you.”

“Nope. I was up at sunrise and went for a walk.” I rolled my eyes.

“Of course you were.”

“Are you heading back?”

“Yeah, I want to get ready for the cliffs.” I grinned at him. He fell into step beside me, and we walked back to the tents together.

“Remember that time you pushed me before I was ready, and I belly flopped so hard?”

“Oh my God, you screamed like a little girl who got a pony for her birthday. It was hilarious.”

“It also hurt like a fucking bitch.”

Charlie and I approached our tents, laughing to find John, Tyler, and Megan watching us as if we’d lost our minds.

“Who’s ready for the cliffs?” I asked, wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes. The memory of Charlie screaming lived in my head, rent free, and I couldn’t not laugh about it.

“Uh…” John looked nervous. After throwing my washbag into the tent, I bounced over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie turn his back and crawl into the tent he shared with his sister.

“No need to be nervous. You don’t have to dive if you don’t want to, just stay near the top, take photos, and enjoy the view. It’s all Megan and Ty do, because they’re both massive chickens.” As I spoke, I looked over at my brother who was flipping me off. “Don’t decide now. See how you feel nearer the time.”

Once we were at the cliffs, Megan spread out a blanket and sat down, a book in her hand. Tyler joined her, scrolling through his phone. John and I stood at the edge of the cliff, looking down into the ocean. We were nowhere near the top, as over the years we’d worked out this was the best place for jumping into the water without it taking an age to get back, but it was high enough to get my blood pumping.

“Yeah… I think I’ll sit this one out.” Moving back, John joined Tyler and Meghan, but remained standing, his camera at the ready. I moved back a little but stayed fairly close to the edge so I could get ready.

“Gillespie?” I called out my challenge as I stripped out of my shorts and tank tops, kicking my sandals off, revealing a mismatched bikini. Behind me, I heard a sharp intake of breath and turned to grin at John, but he had his back to me and was taking photos of the view.

A roar sounded and Charlie ran past me, launching himself off the edge of the cliffs. He ‘battle cry’ could be heard the entire way down until it was broken off by a splash.

With a grin on my face, I followed, dipping myself forward into a dive. I cut through the water, plunging deep before arcing up to break the surface.

“Show off.” Charlie called out as he tread the water.

“Of course. I need to make you look bad at something.” I swam over to him, taking hold of his hand and pulling him back to shore so we could start the climb back to where the others waited. There was a lot of pushing and shoving between the two of us as we made out way, and when we finally reached them, I was out of breath from laughing so much. Charlie’s arm was slung over my shoulder as he struggled to keep himself upright.

“Then you just whipped your top off and jumped.” He was howling with laughter. “That’s why we’ve never given you tequila since.”

I gave him a friendly shove.

“It wasn’t just the tequila, and you know it Gillespie. We hadn’t eaten all day, then you pulled out Jose and it was game over.” He grabbed me around the waits and walked toward the edge, as if he was going to throw me. Admittedly, if he did, it wouldn’t have been the first time. I screamed at him to put me down, hearing my brother and Megan laughing. Eventually, he did as I asked before diving off the edge again, this time executing an almost perfect dive. “Asshole.” I muttered as I grabbed a towel to wrap around my waist.

It wasn’t until I sat down next to him, that I realized John was very quiet and was scrolling through his phone.

:: ::

Arriving back at my house early evening, I was ready for a hot shower and my own bed. Tyler ducked into the house while John and I unloaded the trunk and stored the camping gear back where it belonged. He’d slept for most of the trip back, and I could tell something was bothering him.

After having dinner with my parents, John excused himself to try and get some sleep. It had been a pretty full on couple of days, but not enough to wipe him out. After a few minutes, I decided to go and check on him. I didn’t want him getting sick or something.

When I got to my room, I was surprised to find him packing his stuff into his bag.

“Hey, what’s going on?” He clearly hadn’t expected me to come upstairs and my voice made him jump even though I hadn’t spoken particularly loudly.

“I’m heading back to my dorm.” I moved into my room, closing the door behind me. When I reached up to touch his shoulder, he flinched away from me.

“Woah. Why?”

“Look, I can’t play second best. I really like you, but it’s very clear that your heart lies elsewhere.”

“John, babe. I have no idea what you’re talking about here.” I put my hand on his arm, trying to get him to turn and face me. Eventually he did, sinking onto the edge of my bed.

“Look, we’ve been having fun, right?” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. “Neither of us expected anything serious, and while I thought I might have been falling for you, the past few days have made me realize you could never feel the same way about me.”

“W-w-what?”

When John looked up at me, meeting my eyes with his gorgeous green ones, there was no sadness in them. There was only what I could describe as an acceptance of some sort. It confused the hell out of me.

“I know you tell everyone he’s your best friend, but it’s obvious to everyone who spends any kind of time with the two of you that you’re both head over heels for the other.”

I couldn’t help it, but I burst out laughing.

“Me and Charlie? No way. You’ve got it all wrong, believe me.”

“See, you say that, and I think on the surface that you believe it, but deep down… I’m a photographer. I literally look at details of the things around me all the time, and there’s no mistaking there’s something going on between the two of you. It’s just taking both of you some time to realize it; although, I think Charlie might be there already. He’s crazy jealous of me.” A snort escaped me before I could stop it. “I’m serious. Whenever we were together the past few days, he either turned his back, walked away, or interrupted us. You may see him as your best friend, but he’s in love with you. And I can’t compete with that.”

Standing back up, John finished packing his stuff, telling me he had a train booked in an hour. Knowing I wasn’t going to change his mind, I offered him a ride to the station, but he refused saying he’d book an uber.

Rather than watch him leave, I went out into the garden and sat on the swing. I’d never had a breakup, so I had nothing to compare it to, but I didn’t feel as sad as I expected to. In the movies, girls lay in their beds for days on end with messy hair and mascara running down their faces until their friends ran an intervention. Yeah, I was sad that John had broken up with me, but it felt like I was losing a friend more than a boyfriend. Even if the reasoning was ludicrous. There was no way on Earth Charlie Gillespie, the guy all the girls wanted, was in love with me. Sure, I knew he loved me – we were best friends, but that was it.

As the sun set around me, I finally made my way inside. I could hear the TV playing in the lounge, but didn’t feel like being pitied by my family, so I made my way up to my bedroom. When I was there, it felt empty without John’s big, solid frame. He’d only been here two days, but he’d made an impression on my space.

Not sure what to do with myself, I sat on my bed, hearing a crinkle. There was an envelope on my pillow.

I’m sorry it ended like this, but you need to know and understand that I don’t hate you – just in case you were wondering. Yeah, I’m upset, but I’m a big boy and I’ll get over it, and when I do, I hope we can still be friends. I honestly love spending time with you, and meeting your family was great.

I know you didn’t believe me when I told you about Charlie, but I hope these prove it to you.

See you soon, John.

Inside the envelopes were a couple of polaroid photos. I’d forgotten he’d brought his along with his big one. We’d all taken turns taking silly shots of one another, shaking them as they developed around the campfire we’d had.

The first was me holding Charlie’s guitar. I was clearly singing, looking at him, but there was something in the way I looked at my best friend. A softness to my face that could only be interpreted as affection – unsurprising, considering how much he meant to me, how much we meant to one another.

The second, was after our first jump at the cliffs. We were walking toward the camera, arms wrapped around one another, laughing. If it was anyone else, I would say it was quite an intimate photo, but it was me and Charlie. We were always like that, always touching, always laughing.

Putting the letter and photos on my desk, I lay back on my bed. I was confused as hell and didn’t know what to think or who to talk to.

As if summoned, my phone began to ring, Lena’s name flashing on the screen. When I answered, she didn’t bother with a greeting.

“So, when are you and pretty boy getting it on?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“John text me, told me what happened, said you might need someone to talk to. He finally saw what I saw.”

“And what did you see?”

“You and Charlie boy. All the feels.”

“Lena, there are no feels. We’re friends, best friends.”

“Honey, I know you’re a bit blind to the fact that that boy is crazy in love with you, probably has been for years, and you…”

“I what?”

“You look at him like he hung the moon. I don’t look at my best friend like that. I know it’s a lot to take in, but think about it, logically. Try to look at your relationship the way an outsider would, then tell me you’re not gonna end up ridiculously happy, living in some gorgeous apartment somewhere, surrounded by gorgeous babies.”

“And what if I come to the realization he’s just my friend?”

“Then I would say you’re blind as fuck. Look, I gotta go, my nanna’s lethal at dominoes, so I gotta make sure she doesn’t cheat. I’ll see you in a few days.” Lena ended the call. I was no clearer on the situation I had been before we’d spoken, but I least I had something to do.

Could everyone be right, and I was wrong? I loved Charlie, adored him, but I wasn’t in love with him. We were friends, the best, and that was all. Wasn’t it? I was pretty sure it was for me.

I needed air. I made my way back downstairs, grabbing my car keys from the side unit and went outside. It was late, but maybe a drive would help. As I unlocked my car, I heard my name being called. Turning, I saw Charlie jogging over to me.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“I just need to clear my head.”

“Where’s the big man.” Something flashed in his eyes as he asked about John. I tried not to read too much into it, but if I didn’t know better, it looked like jealousy. I gave myself a mental slap around the back of the head for projecting John and Lena’s words onto myself.

“He left. Went back to campus. We’re over.” Immediately, Charlie’s arms were wrapped around me and I was pulled in tight against his chest. My senses were overwhelmed by the feel of him, the sound of his heartbeat, and the scent of him. It was too much and I pulled away.

“Are you okay? I know you liked him.”

“Yeah, I’m good. It wasn’t that serious.”

“Serious enough to sleep with him.” An undertone of something I couldn’t work  out laced his voice.

“Charles. I wasn’t a virgin when I met John. I may not have had any serious relationships, or relationships in any capacity, but I wasn’t innocent. Just the way you’re not, so don’t pull that bullshit with me.”

Boys at high school may have been wary of Charlie, but he wasn’t around at college when I discovered meaningless one night stands weren’t for me.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want to see you hurting.”

“I’m not. Maybe I should be more upset, but I can’t fake it.”

“You sound upset.” I looked up at him, stepping back slightly to move closer to my car. “I don’t like it when you’re upset, even when you don’t think you are, like that time when-”

“Look, I’m not here for a trip down memory lane. I want to go for a drive. Talk tomorrow?”

“Sure.” He turned to walk away an I pulled open the driver’s side door. Before I could sink into the seat, I was spun around. Charlie had hold of my wrist in one hand, but it was a gentle hold. He slammed the door and walked toward me. Nerves took over me and I back away from him, my back hitting the car behind me.

When he let go of my wrist, he placed his hands either side of me, resting against the cool metal of my car. Swallowing, I locked eyes with him, feeling very unsure of myself. I opened my mouth to ask him what was happening but didn’t manage the words before he crashed his lips against mine.

.

.

.

.

.

Tagging: 

@dream-a-little-bigger-x @calamitykaty @crybabyddl @morganayennefertyrell​ @lovesanimals​ @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve @echocharm17618 @kinda-really-lost @n0wornever @all-in-fangirl @kcd15 @charliesmountains @amazinggracy @happinessinthedarkesttimes @xplrreylo @5sosmukefan

[iricathel]

to Avenel Irina

« Hi Ira... I wonder what you thought when you got the letter... I'm sorry, but it's not good news for you... That's why I'm writing a letter... I can't say it out loud... I'm too cowardly and weak... I'm sorry...

I'm leaving. I have to leave again... I can't change it and it makes me so sad... I don't want to leave here... But we were discovered. The military will be coming to our house soon, so my aunt said we're leaving... I can't disobey her...

But. There is a huge but. My aunt said we're not leaving forever... Ira, I don't know if it's true, but I want to believe it... I want to come back here again. I don't want to leave you, my first friend... I started a new life here and I really liked it. I don't want to be alone again... So please, Ira, wait for me, okay? Don't be sad, okay? I promised not to cry, but... I'm writing this and I'm crying... I'm worried about you. I hope that we will meet... And I'll do anything for that, really!

Also, I want to say a big thank you. You are the one who became my first friend in all the time I've been here. It was with you that I first learned what it was like to walk, go shopping, pick out clothes or groceries... I even learned that cooking together is a lot of fun... If I hadn't met you, I would still be alone... Thank you, Ira!

I don't want this to seem like a goodbye letter... And what else should I say...? I'll be back, I'll definitely be back! I've already said that, haven't I...?

Ira, please don't worry about me. I hope all will be well with you in my absence... Let's go for another walk when we meet again, okay?

To my first and best friend. »

by Elizabeth Virnien

[Irina saw the letter she was holding somewhat confused, it was quite a surprise that Elizabeth sent her a letter after the time that she had arrived without having seen it .... She hoped it was nothing bad]

How strange.... I'll have to read it as soon as possible, maybe it is something very important or urgent and I have to be careful.

[The blonde girl entered her home again and quickly went upstairs to her room. She locked the door and sat on her bed to open the letter and start reading it]

Wha--?

This should be a joke ... right? It can't be true.

[The vibrant greenish tone of her gaze was dimming by each new word that she read feeling how her heart was squeezed with pain a second time in her entire life]

It seems ..... It seems that in the end it happened, she went away.

But she will return as promised ... right?

[Irina murmured seeing her cat Tessa lying carefree on the warm sheets. She held back the tears in her eyes threatening to come out as she felt a lump tighten in her throat and the smile she tried to force weighed on her more and more]

Why do all these problems have to happen now ...?

[And just as she had wanted to avoid, that pool of salty tears slid down her cold cheeks as she put away the letter as her mind was invaded by millions of questions and causes for overthinking and pessimism]

[sweetness47]

Almost Too Late

This is for @idreamofplaid and @girl-next-door-writes for their ‘They Belong to Us Now’ Challenge. Hope you guys like it! Congrats on your milestones btw.

Warnings: Swearing, death mentioned, dark spirits, kissing at the end, pining I’m going to say PG-14

Prompt #16: If You die, I’m going to kill you.

Theme: AU Castle

Pairing: Sam x reader

Life was good, or mostly. My friends and I hunt monsters, save people from the things that go bump in the night. This isn’t what your thinking though. We don’t drive places. Most of our travel is done by horseback or hiking. The industrial revolution came, left, and is in the process of being reborn, but it’s very slow going.

Every day is a new adventure. It’s just four of us: me, Dean, Sam, and my friend Charlie. Oh, and spoiler alert…I’ve had a major crush on Sam forever! Like seriously. I mentally drool when he talks to me, stands close to me, and my underwear is a sopping mess by the time the day ends. It’s super hard being so attracted to him, especially since he has no clue. I hesitate to bring it up, my worst fear is that confessing my feelings would ruin what we have.

That would kill me.

So I suffer silently. Charlie has noticed my pining, and has tried to get me to admit my feelings to him. But I’m terrified. If I lost him because I chose to share my attraction, I’d never be able to live with myself. I would lose the one thing in my life worth living for, besides friends, and that would kill me, literally.

I’ve pictured all the different ways I could approach the subject. I could casually just walk beside him and slide into my feelings. I could just jump him while everyone’s sleeping (my personal favorite…for obvious reasons) but what if he rejects my advances? I just can’t find an outcome where I’m not overthinking, where I don’t see chances of disaster, of rejection, of heartbreak.

Ugh. FML. Seriously.

**

Our travels bring us to a long abandoned castle. It’s creepy as fuck, but if properly fixed and cleaned up, it could actually be a really good home for us to work out of, a place where we can just hold up and crash, seek safety, keep our belongings we don’t usually need on hunts.

It’s really big, in an intimidating sort of way. I shiver as I walk closer and touch the stone walls. There’s a presence or two here, things that are tethered to this ancient land, to this castle. It’s dark, and dangerous.

And it knows we’re here.

“Guys? We’re not alone here.”

Sam, Dean and Charlie all turn towards me, and wait. They know I’m able to feel things, so if I say to be careful, they listen.

I continue. “I don’t know if there’s more than one, but whatever is in here is dangerous, like deadly. And it already knows we’re here. The good news? It hates light. Bad news though…the sun will be setting in a couple of hours. We won’t stand a chance if we don’t make a plan.”

“Is it worth us even staying? I mean, we could always find another place to shack up.” Dean’s voice tells me he’s going against his heart. He really likes this place as much as the rest of us, but he also knows not to take my feelings lightly.

“Maybe, but how often do we come across such a magnificent place? A lot of castles have long since been destroyed by one disaster or another. With some work, and luck, we could make this our home. I love the idea of having a solid place to rest once in a while.”

I love Charlie. She’s never one to beat around the bush. Straight forward and honest. I nod in agreement, but as I stare at the dark looming windows and the ancient structure of the castle, I can’t help but wonder if Dean might have a point. I personally have never felt something this dangerous before and frankly, I honestly don’t know how to deal with whatever dwells inside.

**

The human called YN is correct, something dark and dangerous does occupy this castle. Me. I am the biggest threat here, the banshee that recently sought refuge here is nothing compared to my dark power.

I am a void, a darkness, sentient and silent. I feed off fear and humans, the ones that are foolish enough to try and remove me from my home. Many have tried. None have succeeded.

I am near indestructible. I revel in the power I possess. I will never let anyone take it from me.

I used to be malicious, hell bent on finding the next willing victim to feed my hungry darkness. Then my brother entity, the one hunters dubbed “the Empty” made a deal with an angel, where the angel would help save what was left of this world and then go willingly into that void.

The anguish I felt from those the angel considered family was horrific. They mourned. I hated the idea that the one like me could be so cruel. We were made for harbouring souls, ones that had no other place to go. We were made to feed on those dead and lost, to grow and suck the life from them. But we were never to make deals to take a willing live being, no matter the end game.

That was what our creator told us. My brother didn’t listen.

I did.

I left because of that. And was punished for it.

Now I am tethered to this stone building. I’ve been here for a long time, and have grown quite fond of the peace and quiet. Most of my energy is gotten from stray animals, or the occasional human. But I absolutely refuse to leave.

So I prepare to fight. I won’t lose this home.

**

Sam peeks through the door and down the dark hall. “Sounds like fun. Shall we?” He grabs a flashlight and steps over the threshold. The moment he does, I feel the change in whatever has possessed this place.

I grab his arm. “Sam, be careful.”

He nods. “Always.”

I snort at that response, because for as much as I love the brothers, they have had a tendency to get into some stupid situations.

Dean follows Sam, then Charlie and I step inside. I’m blown away from what greets us. The first archway we encounter opens to a massive foyer, large enough to rival a grand ballroom, with corridors leading off in all directions, as well as a grand wide staircase, gleaming with gold accents and dark cherry wood railings. All I was missing was the fancy ball gown and a crowd of ballroom dancers to complete the picture.

Honestly it felt like we’d stepped into a fairy tale, but the danger looming in the background dispelled that notion pretty quick. And now that we were inside, I could definitely sense more than one. The first one, the dark presence that resided in the walls, it was intelligent, and it didn’t feel as threatening as the other. Spirit number two was restless, malevolent, and downright deadly.

“Guys, just a heads up. There’s two different entities here, both are dangerous, but one of them is more so than the other. Be careful. We go in pairs. Watch each other’s backs.”

Everyone nods, and Dean whisks me down one hall while Sam and Charlie explore the other. The moment we’re alone, Dean calls me out on what I didn’t say.

“Ok hotshot, spill. What aren’t you telling us?”

I sigh. Dean knows I have a thing for his brother, and has encouraged me numerous times to tell Sam how I feel. He also knows I have a habit of keeping important information from the others when I feel like it could jeopardise an outcome.

I stop and face my friend. “It’s just a feeling Dean. Honest.”

Dean purses his lips as if trying to figure out if my words are the truth. “Ok. But the moment that changes, you tell us. None of this hero bullshit you usually pull. I saw the look in your eyes. Your spooked. And you never get spooked like this.”

He’s right. It’s one of the reasons I’m good at hunting the things that go bump in the night. I don’t scare easily.

I nod. “I know. I promise to tell you if the feeling becomes more. Ok? Can we drop it now?”

He does, but only because I have a tendency to blow a fuse if I’m pushed too far. And I need to be on top of my game if I want to stay ahead of the dark.

An ear-splitting, high pitched scream echoes through the entire castle, the walls vibrating as it bounces off everything it touches.

Dean and I look at each other and say at the same time. “Banshee!!”

We radio Charlie and Sam. They confirm they heard the creature as well, and promise to keep a close eye on their surroundings. I can’t shake the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach though. It’s almost like someone’s going to die…

FUCK!

“Dean! We have to find Sam and Charlie now!”

He takes one look at my facial expression, and whatever he finds there is enough to convince him not to argue. Another banshee scream fills the halls, and we take off back to the main foyer as we try to radio Charlie and Sam. They don’t answer, so we head in the direction they took when we split off.

The horrible feeling grows with each step, and when we stumble upon a broken two-way radio, I swallow hard. Dean calls out, but neither answer. I look at the elder Winchester, who’s grim looks mirror my own.

Suddenly, we’re thrown across the room by the high pitched wail, having been too distracted to notice her presence. I recover quickly, my need to contain her is great, she is a road block in my quest to find my friends and make sure they are all right. I summon my will, and I throw everything I have, everything I am feeling, at my nemesis. Her screams fade as she disintegrates before our eyes.

It’s then we see Charlie and Sam, both of whom are lying on the ground, motionless. Charlie is moaning and attempting to open her eyes and sit up, but my focus is on Sam, or rather his lack of movement. I’m paralyzed by fear when I notice his shallow breathing, the struggles he has just trying to breathe.

I fall to my knees beside him. “Sam? Baby, talk to me.”

He coughs and smiles weakly, blood trickles out of his mouth with each wheeze. “You called me a pet name. I knew you liked me.”

Tears fell as I smiled at his attempt at humor. “Asshole! Don’t you dare try and distract me. I swear Sam, if you die, I will kill you. Do you hear me? I will fucking hunt your ass down and kill you!”

His answer is to chuckle, but it quickly turns to another bout of coughing, and more blood oozing from his perfect lips. He never gets to say what he’s thinking as his lungs give out, and he stops breathing.

My worlds stops. I can’t breathe.

A gasp leaves my lips, and quickly turns into a strangled cry. I fall over him, hugging his still form, begging him to wake up, to come back to me. I can’t live without him.

Why the hell did I pair with Dean? Why? I could have protected him! I’m such an idiot! And now I’ll never be able to tell him I love him, I’ll never hold him again, or kiss him the way I’ve always imagined.

Because he’s gone.

That’s when I feel the other presence, the heartache that mirrors my own. The entity within the walls is feeling my pain, which is weird in itself, like it’s mourning my loss.

So I engage it in conversation.

You…why do you mourn my loss? I ask it in my head.

There’s no delay in the answer I receive. I have felt human loss before, it saddens me. What makes this human special?

I love him. He is everything to me…the air I breathe, the life in my body. He’s my reason for living. Is my answer.

This time there is considerable pause before it talks to me. I can bring him back for you. All I ask in return is to be allowed to stay in these walls. I have grown to like it here.

Deal. If you can save him, I will not harm you. But you can never harm me or my friends for as long as we live in this place.

The entity agrees, and I feel it join with my mind, it’s darkness seeping into my body, taking my power and my connection to Sam. I involuntarily move my hands to hover over his chest, and close my eyes as power is released from me into him.

Sam’s body shudders and suddenly he gasps, sitting upright, his lungs taking in gulps of fresh air. He coughs then looks at me, eyes wide.

And I fold my arms around his neck and kiss him.

It takes about two seconds for him to kiss me back, parting my lips with his tongue. Kissing Sam is everything I imagined and more, he tastes sweet, like cotton candy. I’m crying again, but it’s tears of joy. I eventually tear my mouth from his, needing to say three words.

“I love you.”

His response comes immediately. “I love you too YN. Always have.”

He kisses me again, leaving Dean and Charlie cheering and teasing us to get a room. I look up, and a shadowy figure smiles in my direction. The entity.

Thank you. I manage.

It nods, then fades into the walls.

@idreamofplaid @girl-next-door-writes @drkcnry67 @lyarr24

[unlocktxt]

hi 😄 i saw your reblog and i want to ask the same thing: what was your first impression of your moots?

First i want to say that I may of gotten a littleeeee carried away. I wanted to include as many people as possible, but some I don’t have enough to say. Despite this I might add more. I’ve met so many various people on this app and I’ve loved interacting with them all or just seeing them around. So much so that I can’t list everybody. I really love all my moots and there are so many of them that I’ll forever be grateful for. (yes i added a keep reading because this was so long and please excuse my gramtical errors)

@hoes4hoseok - our first impression was playing among us WHICH WAS SO FUN. I don’t remember much about talking to her in the game BUT I do remember that she was the first one to ever make the group chat filled with those who played with us. honestly I’m so grateful that she did that because I wouldn’t have been able to become friends with her and many others. I remember thinking that she was beyond kind and that she was good with trying to include everyone. After that I just remember hearing her voice and then DYING because she has a wonderful voice. I felt as though I related to you just a bit. Now I’ve gotten to see different aspects of her and really value her as a person and friend. She keeps things real and is so helpful. Sometimes I wish I could see what goes on inside her head because sometimes I think she reserves herself or overthinks and I’d like to give her a big hug.

@binniebutter - amie... oh amie 🙄 just kidding 😂 amie well... I also met her while playing among us in that same group. we played a lot with each other and I find that nice BECAUSE I CANT REMEMBER WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT DURING THE FIRST TIME WE PLAYED. I think I do remember laughing about her and gen tho. In our first gc I remember thinking that she had a bright personality and could keep the conversation going. I also find out we live about an hour away so I was able to connect with her about that (I also was so excited just because IVE NEVER MET AN ONLINE FRIEND IN THE SAME STATE) After that we played among us a lot together and I just remember thinking amie was EVIL. She was funny though and I felt comfortable around her. Now... I honestly think I’m pretty close to amie emotionally. It’s very rare that I put down my guard and talk to someone about certain things (I don’t really think I’ve talked to her about certain things tho) I still feel as though I can talk to her or that I can cry or rant to her without feeling judged. I don’t know how much she’s come to me about, but anytime I try to comfort her i feel like I get to know her better. I usually don’t start joking with my friends and being “rude” to them unless I know that they know I love them, which is why I’m starting to show amie sarcasm at times ☺️ I may of written too much 😅

@hyukaite I ACTUALLY REMEMBER MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF KAT. oml we’d send asks every now and then and I remember thinking she was a crack head. From the videos I’d see her post to that one drawing. Man if only I could go all the way back to it, but it was monthssss ago. I also remember relating to her about having to help our sisters with math 💀. I wanted to be her friend after seeing her interact with some of my other moots, but I was too shy to actually message her so I stuck with sending in asks every now and then 😂 then we started playing among us together. I remember thinking “NOOOO SHE STOLE YELLOW” which led to me falling in love with the dark green among us color JFKAJFLW. After that I remember getting betrayed by her in the game SO MANY TIMES. she killed me during the Simon says task... to tell you what grudge I hold... I still remember it. ITS SUCH A HARD TASK AND SHE DIDNT LET ME FINISH IT. She also killed me in electrical when I thought she was INNOCENT. Now... kat I don’t even know how to describe her. She has many aspects to her that I love. She also is able to help me think straight whenever I let my anger get to me.

@yawnjunie - I thought she was shy at first because when I first met her she didn’t talk much, so I felt bad because I thought she didn’t feel all that welcomed by us (no specific reason we were just introduced to blu so abruptly 😂) After that I think I was intimidated by her at first JFJAKFJERI. We also compared our schools and our grade mindset which I think really opened my eyes a little bit more. I still believe she’s really smart Zknfaltn. She makes me laugh though and she also started the network moacabinet. She’s really sweet with so many ideas, but I feel bad because sometimes I think she gets stressed easily. She’s not on much, but everytime she’s online I’m blessed with her presence.

@kkuming - gigiiiii! my first impression of gigi was fairly simple. We met on the au group chat and she seemed really sweet. I wanted to try and give gigi a warm welcome and make sure she felt comfortable. I wish I remembered more about our first meeting. I DO HOWEVER remember thinking she was v v innocent. I sat back and watched gigi get thrown into the group and laughed my ass off at how she interacted with kat. I was worried that because the others were already so comfortable with her and joking around about things that she may actually think that the “divorce” or whatever it was that kat and her had would make her upset, so I wanted to remind her that I appreciated her Zofnakfjeof. She also was taking a lot of stressful classes so I could only hope this girl didn’t die underneath all that stress. Now I- she’s crazy guys. Just kidding 😂 she’s still really sweet and jokes around with all of us. I’m glad she’s online a lot more now. she’s also really funny.

@lipbeom - I’m like 99.9% sure rynn was the first person I ever really talked to on tumblr. I thought she was a really good writer and saw that she was a senior as well, so I was glad that I wasn’t the only one on tumblr that was going to suffer through the last year of school. I was so glad when she messaged me first like Y’ALL HAVE NO IDEA. When I first met her I remember thinking she was really sweet AND BEYOND SMART. I’m really grateful for rynn and I actually miss her a lot because I feel like I don’t interact with her as much as I should. She was very supportive and still is. It’s only been a few months since I first talked with her but I’m reminiscing 😂 She also got me hooked on selling sunset WHICH WAS AMAZING but I was talking like the girls on the show for WEEKSSSSSSS.

@bbhyeoliskooks - I don’t really remember how I came across her, but I realized she was a new moa writer and wanted to check her out. My first impression... hmmm I guess you could say that I believed she was very grateful even when she didn’t have to be. Sometimes she makes me feel old 💀 but she’s reminds me a little bit of my sister... just way sweeter. She’s very loyal and anytime you tell her you’ve posted something oml she’s wonderful. She’s the type of person who is really supportive and I appreciate that, but sometimes I feel like I don’t give her enough of ittttt. I really need to go stalk her blog now as for some reason I don’t see her notifs half the time. I’m really proud of her and think she’s one of the sweetest people on tumblr NOT TO MENTION SHE SINGS BEAUTIFULLY.

@txthearteu - oml cj 😂 she is also one of the first people I talked to on tumblr. I don’t really remember our first impression tho :/. I DO REMEMBER I READ ONE OF HER STORIES THO and i sent an ask about it because she deserved the recognition for it. Hmmm at first I believe I was intimidated because she is older than me 😂 however she was so extremely sweet and I loved talking to her. I tried talking about various different things with her because I wanted our conversation to continue hehe. She stays feeding me 😌 and even if I can’t physically eat del taco I get full off of the love and support cj gives me. My eyes light up when I see her in my notifs. I think she deserves the world and I always want to be there for her. I don’t think I can ever repay her for the love she’s given me.

@sung4oon - SAM I SWEAR IF YOU CHANGE UR URL BEFORE I HAVE A CHANCE TO POST THIS! I met her when her url was... 👁👄👁 lixxie sumtin. I think it was lixieebear. I truly don’t remember her first impression 💀 the only thing I remember was thinking that she was also a crack head. She was really funny and sweet and DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE WHOLE BRAINCELL THING. I should’ve given her my brain cells for christmas. I still think she’s really fun to talk to and I literally try to remind myself as much as possible that I need to go stop by and send an ask every now and then. Even so she still says hi to me ☺️

@beomiebear5 - R A I N A. hehehehehehe I actually love this first impression for me. At the time I saw her anon asks to rynn. I saw that she was going to start posting stuff on her blog soon and she gave a hint about how to find her. Ofc I let rynn do that herself BUT I went searching KFJSIFIWFKW I couldn’t help it I saw it as a challenge. My first impression was rlly just that she was sweet. Then after a while KFJAOFJWOF I really love interacting with her and seeing her rants. Gosh she’s so funny and ✨inspires✨ me. I’m always down to talk to her because she’s amazing and sweet.

@magicisland9-34 - lillie ☺️ I honestly don’t remember our first impression? I do however remember when she first sent an ask! I would always get so excited when I got an ask from her 😂 I loved talking to her and she let me ramble on and on. Whether that be about gymnastics or ballet. Once again even lillie is sweet, but she’s betrayed me for siding with amie about Christmas 😤. She’s also one of the people that I try to remind myself to go and visit their blog and see what they’ve posted.

@spookybias - if I remember correctly gen was the first one who reblogged my about me post, which ended up allowing others on this app to see that I was a new writing blog. She was also one of the first people I followed and one of the first who followed me, so I was really grateful and thought she was beyond helpful and nice. I also really believe she’s a great writer and i admired how she would tell things how they are. She’s always been sweet to me even if she’s threatened to shoot me a while back 😤. OH YEAH we also played among us together in that group as well and I always suspected her at one point. IT WAS BECAUSE THE ONE TIME I TRUSTED HER SHE KILLED ME.

@bffsoobin - My first impression of Sara was pretty simple like I found her blog and fell in love. she writes so well and I’ve loved everything I’ve read from her. I thought she was really pretty and pretty funny too. When she’d talk about some of her stories revolving school it honestly made my day as well. I admire her especially because she’s such a good writer and LET ME TELL YOU when she followed me back I think I did a little cheer. I was reading her fics before I even started writing on tumblr.

@soobcxre - I saw Sara around because we had a lot of moots in common and when I saw them interact I would just think about how I wanted to befriend her 😂. When she texted me I got so excited, but I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN SCHOOL TOO. She’s also really sweet ajfjwkfjw and I’m glad to have met her.

@lovesickchoi - MADDIE 🤩 I.... I don’t remember my first impression of her 🥲. It may of revolved around asks? I think I ended up trying to get to know her more at the time I was trying to get to know yoonie. I say this because I remember always seeming to get their urls mixed up... I think it’s because the h at the beginning. I LITERALLY DONT REMEMBER HOW WE STARTED INTERACTING. She’s also an amazing writer tho! Now I still think she’s sweet and we’ve talked about yeonbin together 😂.

@sunoo-luvs - 🥺 zaara JFJAJRKSKF literally my first impression was “cute.” That still stands btw. She’s absolutely the sweetest and is really considerate of others IM SCARED BECAUSE SHE MAY APOLOGIZE FOR THINGS THERES NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR. Even so she can easily add happiness to people’s day with just a hi and a hug.

@i2gyu - I- first impression: scary. IM KIDDING wait... actually even though that was a joke because she used to stop by and say “boo” I MAY OF ACTUALLY FELT INTIMIDATED BY HER AT FIRST. I think one of the first times we interacted was about a network and at the time I was ready to join a network SO I FELT SO BAD FOR SAYING NO. Afterwards tho I realized how nice she was and I always end up getting a little energetic once I see she’s sent in an ask. One day I’m scared I won’t see her change her url or blog, but that’s if she does again.

@fairycore-gyu - I haven’t interacted with anyone new recently and when I saw kira that obviously changed 😂. I related to her with music taste and stuff. LET ME TELL YOU when someone seems to have the same music taste I JUST my eyes light up. She was really welcoming and I instantly felt like I could message her anytime. I also just realized she’s a pisces 🥺.

@yoonjunie - I just remember thinking ooooo new moa writer! I think anyone who comes across her can say she’s very welcoming and sweet + she deserves everything she has. I really just wanted to support her 😂 I need to interact with her more and read more from her blog.

@hyeyoonwrites - yoonie 🥺 AHHHH okay 😂 first impression: LITERALLY THE SWEETEST. I know I’ve said that so many people here are sweet but yoonie is a different kind of sweet. I don’t know every single time I’ve interacted with her has felt like a soft hug. She’s supported me a lot and I really need to check up on her more frequently I feel guilty about it aifoshf.

@txtextme - gon I- even though we haven’t talked much she’s extremely funny and relatable. she just has this vibe that I love about her. I know I don’t have much to say, but I had to add her because she’s left an impact.

@yeonbins - VIVI HAS WONDERFUL GIFS. Every now and then I’ll see her post some stuff just talking and akfjskf. I mainly remember (I think) Starbucks getting her name wrong. Her names so pretty tho. I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH OLDER SHE WAS THAN ME. I also played among us with her for a lil... I was scared she was gonna murder me 😂.

[softshiin]

ah i actually dont know if im requesting at the right place,,, im new to Tumblr and enstars overall but!! i would really love to request an enstars matchup if thats okay!! :''D

im a 5'1 asian girl, i use she/her pronouns and im straight. im an introvert and my mbti is infj,,,, i like to think im a cheery person infront of my close friends, to which i only really have a few, and im very very shy and awkward around people i dont know. i am not really that confident but i do try sometimes!! i just back out very fast because i get scared easily and i overthink a lot (T▽T)

i am a huge animal fanatic!!! i absolutely love animals (人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+

u can show me a picture of a random dog doing absolutely nothing and i will love that dog forever and ever!! but seeing any sort of animal makes me really giddy and i will ramble a lot when it comes to this actually-

i also really like playing games from times to time!! i am not very good at it but i try because theyre fun to play with the people i love ＼(^o^)／

i don't really have a type per say ┐(´ー｀)┌ just someone whos patient enough with me and someone who doesn't force me into social situations im uncomfortable with or well, just a nice person overall ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

hello anon!! don’t worry you’re writing in the right place<3 also sorry for the wait ,,<3 ++ *holds* you seem so cute pls- anyways !! the person

i match you with is kanata, i hope you like him!!

KANATA

- well you know, he loves staying

in the water, without anyone troubling him

- you would be the only one allowed to get close and talk to him

- he usually puts some beautiful fishes in the fountain, just cause he knows that you will love them <3

- those rare times that he’s not in he water, he will def be with you, probably napping on your shoulder

- lazy back buggies from him

- i feel like he needs a lot of physical touch from you

- loves buggies, head pats, kisses- well all sort

- you can talk about anything with him, and he would understand, giving you also advices if you need them

- he’s reeeally patient with anyone, and of course with you too

- he always hold your hand when you face new people, or some situations where you are uncomfy

- he loves spending entire evenings and nights with you playing games. and you know what? he’s not even that good at them

- like you, he plays just because its fun, and he absolutely loves seeing you smiling <33

- whenever he takes walks alone, or he’s not with you, he will def take some pictures of doggies that walk past him, and send them to you

- probably you two have some matching keychain with a kitty or a doggie

- loves when you hold his hand

- this guy is the definition of caring

[our-heroes-rise]

slip of the tongue

pairing: todoroki x bilingual! reader

request:  Hi, I want to request a scenario for Todoroki. It’s about a reader who is actually his gf, but she talks portuguese as maternal language. When she got nervous, she start to panic in Portuguese, and she’s nervous to meet Shoto’s mom. How he will help her( something like that). I hope you like this idea. 🇧🇷🇧🇷✌🏻✌🏻

hero name: @todoroki-vivian

a/n: hi, lovely! omg yes, you can aboslutely have a todoroki request, i adore this boy. and i loved this idea so much! it was so darn cute. as someone of mixed race who grew up with a heavily hispanic family i think it’s always fun to imagine bringing home one of the bnha boys/girls. seeing how they’d react to be introduced to the sort of music, food, and p a r t i e s that i grew up with. i’d be completely useless teaching them any g o o d spanish though cause my mother never taught me when i was a kid :’). i only know a couple of phrases and the bad words lol. i don’t touch on any of that here because i’m not too familiar with portuguese culture and i don’t want to offend anyone by getting something wrong because i am uneducated on the subjectttt. there’s only like two words of real portuguese in here and they are from google translate because i wasn’t sure what the difference was between the spanish pronunciation and the portuguese pronunciation. OKAY after that whole thing i hope you enjoy this little scenario, i had a lot of fun writing it and it was super duper cute. thanks for requesting baby hero!

word count: 1,717

warnings: none! this is all fluff :)

Your knee bounced with the subtle rocking of the train cart, heel occasionally tapping against the floor when the wheels ran over a bump in the tracks. No matter how hard you tried, no amount of slow deep breaths or mental reminders that everything would be fine, it would go well, would calm the ever growing bundle of nerves buzzing within the pit of your stomach. It crawled beneath your skin, flinching at the tips of your fingers which picked at the worn plastic seal of your seat, pinched at your bottom lip.

You watched the blur of winter barren trees whirl past the window, not really watching at all, thinking of every way not to mess up this very important day. This very, very important day on which absolutely nothing could go wrong because this was - it was his -

A comforting warmth pressed into your shoulder, calloused fingers wiggling their way through the gaps between yours, bringing a halt to your incessant fidgeting. Striking blue and grey find your gaze, softened by the unspoken question of concern knotting his brows.

What’s wrong?

“I’m just - It’s dumb, really,” you laugh softly, able to recognize how terribly ridiculous you would sound now that the words sit at the front of your mind. “I’m just overthinking things. I’m okay.” For extra reassurance, you give his hand a small squeeze, offering a smile.

Your boyfriend doesn’t seem to buy it.

“You’re not okay if something’s worrying you,” Todoroki says, head dipping to catch your eyes as you try to look away to hide your apprehension. “It might help if you talk about it.”

Bottom lip caught between your teeth once again, a soft sigh blows through nose, and you lean further into his shoulder, grateful for the gentle heat that bleeds through your jacket sleeve, soothing your nerves. You drop your attention to the spot where your fingers are now intertwined sitting atop his thigh, his thumb tracing over the ridges of your knuckles, saying he’s content to wait for as long as you need.

Well, at least until the arrival of your last stop where you would inevitably have to step off the train and face the anxiety tearing through your head.

It’ll be fine, stop worrying so much. It’ll be fine, it will be fine, it will be -

“What if she doesn’t like me?” You blurt suddenly, cheeks flushing in embarrassment as the eyes of a few curious strangers flicker over to you. Your face sinks further into the protective cocoon of your scarf.

His thumb pauses briefly before picking up its mindless pattern again. “What do you - ?”

“I - I mean, what if I say something wrong and end up sounding really stupid in front of her.” And the dam came crumbling down. “Your mother. The - like - the most important person in your life! I’d end up making a fool of myself in front of the most important person in your life. Then she might think ‘what’s Shoto even see in her? he could do so much better’. Which, you could, by the way. You could do worlds better but you’ve settled for me and sometimes I don’t really get it because - well - I’m me - “

“I don’t see a problem with that. I like you for you and if you are what settling is then I will gladly never settle anywhere else.”

“But what if she - “ your fingers tighten around him at the thought “- what if she doesn’t think I’m good enough for you? What if she thinks we should break up because she thinks I’m rude and annoying and uneducated?”

“Uhm. . . Y/n.”

“What if she thinks I’m a bad influence on you? I don’t want to make her hate me forever, that would be the worst feeling ever because I know she means so much to you.”

“Y/n. . .”

“That would just put so much strain on our relationship and I wouldn’t want you to feel guilty about what happened, ever. You don’t deserve that. You deserve so much better than that, Sho. I just - “

“Meu Amor.”

The name strikes a chord in your throat, catching you breathless, butterflies swooping in to replace the recoiling knot in your stomach. You whip your head around to find the corners of Todoroki’s lips pulling up in a small fond smile, eyes light with amusement. To begin with, Todoroki wasn’t big on pet names, preferring to use your given name, claiming it was sweeter than any silly nickname could be. Though throughout the seven and a half months you two had been together, he had referred to you with the occasional ‘love’ or ‘hon’. However, the number of times he had used that name could be counted on one hand.

Three. It was three times including right now.

He asked you how to say it while you were teaching him random phrases, goofing around in the middle of what was supposed to be a study session, the question being enough to make your face burn. His pronunciation had been rocky the first time, mouth working awkwardly around the words, throwing you into a fit of flustered giggles that had him pouting adorably at you, mumbling not to make fun of him for trying. But, now? Now his near perfect pronunciation left you wondering how many times he had practiced by himself. 

Meu Amor was the Portuguese phrase for My Love. His love. His love. 

“Y-Yeah?” It’s at that very moment that realize you have slipped out of your usual Japanese tongue, rolling through the tumbling hill syllables of your maternal language. “Oh, s-sorry. I. . . I did the thing again,” you mutter, flipping back to Japanese.

Todoroki huffs a short laugh that makes your heart flutter pleasantly as the sound reverberates through your own chest. “It’s okay, I think I got the gist of what you were saying. It’s cute when you do that, anyway.” He says the last part softly, meant for himself. You press your cheeks further into your scarf, hiding your own shy smile.

Todoroki takes a minute to speak, gazing at the same window you were just a moment ago, lost in thought. 

“Y/n,” he finally says. “Meu Amor, -” four times “- frankly, my mother could care less about who you are. I think you could introduce yourself as a high school drop out with a criminal record and her main concern would still be; do we make each other happy? Do you make me happy.”

You allow yourself to absorb the impact of his words.

“And. . . I make you happy?”

He shoots you an incredulous glance, then snorts when he sees you peaking earnestly above the edge of your scarf. “Irrevocably so. Do I make you happy?”

“It’s impossible for me to think about you without smiling.” You give him a bright cheeky grin when his cheeks flare with a noticeable shade of scarlet that crawls all the way up his neck to the tips of his ears.

“Good. Then that’s more than enough.” He squeezes your hand, pulling you closer into his side. “There isn’t a doubt in my mind that she won’t absolutely adore you the same way I do once she meets you. If she doesn’t already, of course.”

The statement piques your curiosity and you arch one brow at him. “What do you mean if she doesn’t already? Have you. . . Told her about me already -- In your letters to her?”

“I thought you already knew that,” Todoroki says, frowning in confusion. “She’s always asking about you and how you’re doing. I was pretty sure I mentioned it before.”

“What the heck? Shoto you’ve never told me that!”

“Oh.”

“So - So then she’s okay with us being together?”

“I think she’s more than okay with it,” he replies, his quiet smile returning. “It’s possible that she’s more excited than I am for you to meet her, which would be saying something.”

“That would have been nice to know before I rambled off the entire Portuguese dictionary to the whole train,” you grumble, rolling your eyes.

“Sorry,” he says, but it sounds like he’s trying to suppress another laugh. And you really can’t stay upset with him for long.

Rough fingertips push gently at the tips of yours to splay your palm out over his, pressing them together. Lightly you run your nails down the long runs of his fingers, memorizing every bump, scratch, and scar, sweeping your forefinger along the wrinkle of his lifeline, then across his heart line. This - the way you were touching him - may not seem like much at all to anyone else, but it was worth worlds to you. It had taken Todoroki months to comfortably hold your hand, even longer while in public, then some to kiss you for the first time. PDA wasn’t what bothered him (not entirely, at least), it was the displays of affection part. Because of the way he grew up, physical affection was a foreign concept, often leaving him lost and a mess of rigid limbs and awkward apologies. But now, he could easily seek your hand in the middle of a crowded train, or wrap his arm around you in the common room, or press a kiss to the top of your head before the start of class. To know that he had made an effort to open himself up to you, allowing you to see this side of him, the side he had only shared with his mother before, made your heart melt and your eyes swim.

Shoto was right, this was more than enough.

A calm voice announces the arrival of your stop and you two stand as passengers begin to climb off the train. 

“Still nervous?” Todoroki asks, threading his fingers through yours once more now that you have both stepped into the morning rush, not wanting to lose you amongst the chaos.

Letting him guide you through the thick crowd, you smile softly, raising your conjoined hands to press your lips to the back of his.

This would always be more than enough.

“No, I think I’ll be okay now.”

[slothgiirl]

maybe together we can get somewhere (noah x mc)

the gang finds out noah is alive. he and mc have built a life together while no one was paying attention (12k)

this was fun and experimental to write, trying to build a relationship through the limitations of the gang only getting snippets of noah and mc and hopefully giving enough information to piece together a plot without being to expository. hope u enjoy (noah x mc are soulmates change my mind)

Stacy.

It's a family vacation. Only the second one after her college graduation since she's only living an hour from Westchester.

It's her mom and dad and Connor and his girlfriend and her girlfriend.

Sofi laughs easily, fitting right in at some story Connor is telling and Stacy’s still annoyed that her brother brought up what she and her friends had found in the woods as children when they were at the airport: when anyone could have heard. She doesn't want to deal with it ever again. And she'll get up and move across the country if she has to.

Connor catches her gaze and offers a small smile and just like that; Stacy let's it go.

“Oh a farmers market,” her mom cries out, “we should check it out!”

Her dad laughs, “alright but don't expect me to eat any frankenstein fruit.”

Stacy snorts, finding Vancouver both amazing, and like any other city she's been to. Canada is hardly an exotic travel destination, but it's nice, waking up to a view of the pacific ocean. She wonders if she should visit her old friend since she's in town.

She'd last talked to you on the phone a month ago, surely she could just drop in.

Sofi slides her hand into Stacy’s, before asking, “what are you thinking about?” It's the first time Sofia's really spent time with her family. And her girlfriend knows about her tendency to overthink and now is one of those times.

Stacy's sighs, “just-I have a friend who lives in Vancouver. I was wondering whether I should visit them or not.”

Her girlfriend smiles, leading them into a stall with lots of fruit samples, “You should! If they're your friend I bet they'd be really happy to see you.”

Stacy shrugs. “Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not like I'm going to be in Vancouver again anytime soon.”

She grabs a second sample of the blood oranges, before telling Stacy as she decides to get a few for the road, “so who is this friend?” Because Sofi doesn't know about the whole Redfield thing and she'll never know because Stacy doesn't want to burden her with Redfield and also doesn't want to talk about it herself. It's over: in the past. Finished.

“One of my childhood friends like Lucas. There was this whole group of us,” Stacy explains.

“Like Dan,” Sofi nods, understanding. “Do you guys still talk?”

“Yeah.”

“Then you should totally drop by! Personally, I could skip the biking tour.”

Stacy laughs, “my parents really just got us all the types of tour.” It was nice, how much things had changed and the boat tour had been fun even if she’d gotten pretty cold over those two hours, it had just been the perfect excuse to snuggle up with Sofi and a cup of warm coffee inside. Connor and Vy could be outdoorsy together, taking millions of photos of the water and skyline.

“It’s cute,” Sofi comments, “my dad would just grumble about the expense and lead his own tour, no doubt getting us all lost.”

Stacy shrugs, “that’s why we have google maps.”

Sofi laughs, and pays for her oranges.

Stacy’s tired of the crowded stall, so she steps outside to wait. Canadians may be polite, but there’s only so many people brushing past her she can take. She takes out her phone and asks Lily for your address because of course Lily has it; she had sent everyone care packages and birthday presents without fail. Stacy had just sent an electronic gift card and called it a day.

There’s a good crowd but this isn't a sad little farmers market like the one back home that has like nothing but a stall or two.

She finds that she does miss the small town feel of the city she lives in even if she has to drive everywhere and living close to her family is nice even if she’ll forever hate the woods, any woods. Andy and tom had confirmed nothing was out in Westchester but she won’t chance it.

It’s second nature to go through her emails while she’s on her phone.

She scans the crowd, seeing if she spots her family somewhere. And sure enough Connor and Vy are sniffing at some tea samples, looking disgustingly sweet together and Stacy makes sure to take a picture because she went with Connor and Tom to pick out the ring. He just has to pop the question.

Wait! Was she or Sofi going to ask the question? Oh god, Stacy wanted to marry this girl. It hits her like a ton of bricks and they’re only 23, been dating two years so they have time, but Stacy’s sure. This is the one.

The panic subsides as she realizes, yeah, this is the woman she wants to spend the rest of her life with and that’s no big deal. They’ll take it day by day.

She locks her phone, glances around, ready to go get Sofi who probably struck up a whole conversation with the vendors and is getting invited over to their house for dinner as Stacy stands out here, waiting, and sees. . .well not Noah Marshall because he’s dead. So that’s not possible. And it’s not like she’s in Westchester.

But-but it certainly looks like Noah at a glance.

She can’t actually make out the man’s features, just the back of his head, which wow-Stace, she might just be losing it if she’s starting to see Noah Marshall walking around, but there’s something about the way the man walks and the shade of hair even if the haircut has changed. . .she shakes her head.

She’s imagining things.

“Ready to go,” Sofi asks, putting her hand on Stacy’s arm, “Your mom texted, she said to meet in front of Whole Foods wherever that is. Also, hilarious that there’s a farmers market in front of Whole foods.”

Stacy snorts, nodding, “yeah, let’s go.” And then looks back because it’s been five years and she still wants to kick Noah’s ass even though he’s dead so it’s a non issue at this point.

The man’s gone.

*

Stacy soon forgets among trying to keep up with the itinerary that her family had made on google docs over the past few months.

*

They take a ferry in the general direction of the address Lily gave her because it’s a fun way to travel. Connor comes along but Vy stays behind in the hotel because she wants to call her parents.

“Did they go to school here,” Connor asks, because it had been a few years and he hadn’t really kept in touch with you the way Stacy and the others had.

“No,” Stacy explains as she double checks the address while Sofi points out cute houses as they walk down the street google maps is saying the house is on. “They went to UWash. I think they studied something boring like finance which I know Ava made fun of them in the group chat about.”

Sofi, a current law student, asks, “what’s wrong with finance?”

Connor snorts, “you’re talking about the same woman that helped organize supplies for her campus’ black lives matter protests.”

“Ava’s very anti-establishment,” Stacy explains because Sofi hasn’t met Ava. Her old friend had transferred to Berkeley before Stacy started dating Sofi, but not before showing everyone her minor magical abilities. “You know, the whole break up the banks, give native americans their land back, will definitely end up a granola anthropology professor in some university after her goth phase.”

Sofi nods, “Ah, I get it. She’s not wrong about the banks. Did you watch the big short?”

“You have the most boring taste in movies,” Stacy teases because this woman made her watch Dunkirk which was long and boring and the soundtrack gave her a headache.

Her girlfriend shrugs shamelessly, “I did do a film studies minor so. . .”

Stacy knocks on the door. “I hope they’re in.” It’s a cute if small house on the edge of the city, close enough to still be part of Vancouver without being in the middle of traffic. There’s a subway station just two streets over, but taking the ferry had been much nicer. Subways had lost their charm in new york after all the times Stacy had been an hour or two late because of some issue.

“Wait,” Connor asks, raising a brow, “you didn’t text them?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Stacy admits. She hadn’t seen you in over two years. You had even less of a reason to be in Westchester compared to everyone who’s family still lived there. Your house had sat empty since you left for college.

“I think it's cute,” Sofi says, wrapping her arms around Stacy’s waist from behind.

Stacy smiles, blushing slightly.

The door opens up and holy fuck.

Stacy gasps, her mouth forming a wide O because she can’t even form a coherent thought.

A very much alive and happy Noah Marshall opens the door, wearing a pink apron that says something inane “kiss the cook”, with more than a bit of food stains, and flour on his chin. He’s not wearing a beanie, but it’s summer and Stacy is sweating even in shorts, and his hair is cut and styled instead of long and greasy like it had been in high school. His eye color has somehow changed from brown to a strange shiny blue that seems too catlike to be natural but that’s whatever when he’s apparently risen from the dead.

What the hell!

Connor is just as flabbergasted as she is.

And Noah’s caught off guard, the easy smile dying on his lips as he realizes who’s at the door.

It’s Sofi that spares them, asking Noah if you’re home, because she doesn’t know anything about what went down in your senior year of high school.

Noah nods wordlessly, “yeah, yeah, come in,” even though he looks like that's the last thing he wants to do looking as grim faced as he had been in school, sitting in the back and refusing to talk to anyone.

For once, Stacy wishes Sofi wasn't here because she wants nothing more than to kick Noah’s ass. She took kickboxing lessons, she totally could. Noah's taller, but not exactly built in the same way Andy is after all the years of exercise; though he's not exactly a scrawny teenager anymore.

How long has this been going on?

You're sitting at the kitchen table, a cheap flimsy thing from Ikea that at least has the decency to look nice, laptop open while wearing a moth-eaten oversized t-shirt of the beastie boys. You don't even look up, when you ask nonchalantly, “so who was at the door?” You reach a hand from another chip, eating straight from the bag.

“Stacy,” Noah says faux cheerfully. And Stacy did not miss how annoying he could be. “And Connor Green.”

You finally look up. A couple thousand emotions running through your face: surprise as you open your lips to speak and then close it without a word, your brow furrows as you frown, then you exchange glances with Noah, then you're blushing red as you meet Stacy's questioning gaze, caught red handed. After a second, you can't meet her gaze, instead looking at Connor the same way you had that year as if he could single handedly save you from everything and no wonder you asked him to the dance, oblivious to Stacy's crush on you at the time.

“Hey Connor, long time no see,” you get up, crossing the length of the small kitchen to hug him, “Andy's always going on about you, you know.”  

Connor manages a smile, “it's good to see you, too.”

“Hi, I'm Sofi,” she says, extending a hand, “Stacy’s told me a lot about you.”

You shake her hand, inviting her to down sit, “all of you. Dinner’salmost ready.” You glance at Stacy asking. . .

She shakes her head. Of course she hasn't mentioned Noah. She's tried to erase him from her memories the same way she's tried to forget all about the ruins in the woods and Dan disappearing.

“Not that you helped,” Noah quips, proceeding to slip back into the kitchen.

“Self care.” You smile back, confirming her suspicion that this had been going on for a while. And you haven't mentioned anything. Not once. But then, you stopped bringing him up when you realized everyone was on the same page, the page you weren't, after what he had done, no amount of childhood tragedy could excuse the fact he had been willing to kill all his friends for some monster. Stacy couldn't find it in her to forgive him, even in death.

Meanwhile, you had spent too much time after everything that happened crying over this jerk.

“What are you making,” Sofi asks as Stacy takes a seat, everything clicking together as you offer everyone something to drink, exchanging lovesick smiles with Noah even as he bats you away from the stove with a spatula.

You loved him.

Despite everything he had done, you loved him. Stacy couldn't understand: had been closer to Dan and you than Noah even as kids. The way you looked at him said everything; the way you'd chased after him, unwilling to let him go into the woods alone.

It made sense why you were so willing to forgive him, and why you had spent so much time mourning him.

“Vegetable pot pie,” Noah explains, starting to roll out the dough, “This one decided to become vegetarian.”

“Since when,” Connor asks, deciding to just go along with it all. Maybe Connor was just mentally stronger, better able to cope with all the supernatural weirdness having helped Tom out at the lake, and still trying to understand the power from all of Pritch’s journals.

“Just a few months ago,” you admit. “It was this whole vegan challenge at work for the month but I missed yogurt a lot but giving up meat was pretty easy.”

“Where are you working now,” Stacy asks, taking a seat carefully, making sure not to turn her back on Noah.

“Oh,” you smile, closing your computer, resting your chin against your hand, “UBC, at the anthropology museum. It's why I-we moved here. I do financial analysis for their investments. Ava found it really funny that I got a job at a museum before her.”

“Oh,” Stacy wonders, glancing at Noah again, who's just as tense if the line of his shoulders is anything to go by, and the telling line of his mouth that reminds Stacy of the first and last time she tried to include him: a APUSH presentation that Noah had waved off and preferred to bomb. “You told Ava?”

She feels the sting of hurt but Ava makes the most sense considering you were closest to her and Lily. Not to mention Ava was still messing around with the occult. A heavy lead ball of anxiety always forms whenever Ava has shown Stacy her magic tricks.

You get the double meaning.

Noah pointedly ignores her, carrying a conversation about the best places to eat in the city with Sofi.

You force yourself to smile, “about the job yeah. Thought she'd laugh since she's the anthropologist. She called it the encroachment of late stage capitalism.”

“That sounds about right for Ava,” Stacy snorts.

You'd chosen Noah over her: over your friends. The choice had already been made before Stacy had even known this was an option.

You two were a packaged deal.

Stacy takes a deep breath, and turns her back on Noah, joining the light conversation of local things to do in Vancouver and how you had completely face planted while trying to ice skate.

“-and instead of helping me,” you tease, getting plates out for everyone, “Noah just sat back and laughed!”

“And took a video,” Noah points out. “You don't have any balance babe.”

“I wouldn't do you like that,” you wrinkle your nose, smiling fondly as Noah brings the food out of the oven, the smell filling the small house and suddenly Stacy’s mouth is watering.

“You have,” he replies all mock offended, “you left me in the cab!”

“I was very drunk,” you shrug shamelessly, then turn to Sofi and Connor with an explanation. “Too much fun on  date night.”

“Shut up,” Noah utters, placing the food on the table, looking incredibly soft and it finally sinks in. He's alive. He's alive and you're together and while Stacy doesn't care for him, she's glad you're doing well.

She's still going to punch him the first chance she gets.

The food’s some of the best she's ever had.

*

She hugs you goodbye two hours later: a great big tight hug that says everything she hasn't been able to because of distance. She puts all her love and tenderness into hugging you. “It was so good seeing you,” Stacy says and means it. One day they'll talk about this.

But not now.

She's dragging Sofi into this.

You nod, hugging her back just as tight, before whispering in softly into her ear, “please don't tell anyone.”

And how could she refuse, with your sweet chocolate eyes looking at her like that, as if she holds everything you hold dear in her hands. It's easy for Stacy to make the choice to look away and say nothing.

*

*

*

Lily.

Britney makes them take a hundred selfies before they even leave the airport. Lily beams at the camera even as she pays for starbucks. “Aw man we should've tried tim hortons now that we're officially in Canada.” Lily muses, shooting you a text, letting you know she'd soon be out of the airport.

“But do they have peppermint frappuccinos,” Britney asks, leading the way as they head to the exit. Airports were always so big. It took forever to get anywhere.

“I'm not big on peppermint,” Lily comments even though Britney already knows that, before taking a long sip of her pink drink. She really had been craving a drink. That was another thing about planes: dehydration. Still, it would be worth it to visit you for the first time since you moved to Canada.

“I know,” Britney winks, “that's just more peppermint bark for me.”

*

Britney's the one that spots you first. Lily's taller than you, but still pretty short. “Your loser friends over there.” Britney teases and it shows how far she and Lily have come that they're able to laugh about the time wasted in high school where she bullied other kids including Lily.

Lily follows on her heels, fixing her coat to try and look cute. It had only been a three hour plane ride but it was three hours plus dealing with airport security so it felt closer to three years. Gosh it had almost been three years since she graduated college. Time just flew by.

Excitement bubbles up and Lily’s smiling hard when she sees you in an olive green jacket and grey hoodie combo, still the same as ever if happier now that you weren't stressing about school.

She had meant to visit you sooner but being an adult meant things often got in the way.

Then Lily spots Noah Marshall hovering behind you, laughing at something you just said , face lit up like a kid who's just been told they can finally dig into their Halloween candy. Except it can't be Noah because he's dead. Yet here he is, wearing a black coat, washout blue hoodie, and of course a beanie. If Jocelyn was here, she'd say he looks like an asshole wearing aviators indoors.

Removing any doubt of who he is, Lily having already come up with a reasonable explanation of you having coped with Noah's death by finding a lookalike, dies when he spots Britney and Lily before you. “Lily,” Noah grins as if he didn't die after trying to kill her, “you looked like someone kicked your puppy.”

You smack his shoulder. “Behave,” you tease as you try and smother a gasp. You meet her gaze sheepishly, but Lily's still too flabbergasted to respond.

“Aren't you supposed to be dead,” Britney asks.

He deadpans, “Mandela effect.”

This time, you dissolve into laughter.

Noah glances over at you with a smile, pleased with himself.

Lily finally manages, “explain.”

You nod, “let's get you settled in first.”

Britney hands her bag to Noah, “here. I need to carry Lily's bag.”

“Sure thing,” Noah snorts, taking her bag.

*

Lily had imagined Canada to be much more green. Like a national park green, with so much plant life she could smell it thick in the air, but it's pretty much just another downtown metropolitan area like Seattle. You'd really only moved a few hours away from Seattle so that made sense.

She keeps glancing over at Noah as if he'll disappear and this is some trick from whatever thing still lived in Westchester. But he's still there, flesh and blood, his arm draped around your shoulder as they stand by where she and Britney have taken a seat, bags under their feet. They had only brought carry on bags.

You're obviously together but Lily keeps getting stuck on the fact that Noah's alive.

She isn't surprised. Noah only ever had time for you that year; both of you slinking off when you thought no one was paying attention. Lily remembers seeing you hug Noah in some lonely corner of the school if you didn't skip fifth period math.

And Connor had said he'd seen you both out in town during school hours.

Maybe it's the glasses.

Noah won't be alive to her until she sees his entire face, leaving no room for error.

“Can't believe you're moving to Seattle!” You repeat because yeah Lily had gotten a nice job offer there.

“Neither can I,” Britney complains, “I like SF, and I'd like to live somewhere warm one day. Aren't there any major tech firms in Miami?”

“Nasa,” Lily says thoughtfully, “I didn't have the experience to apply though.”

Her girlfriend frowns, “You went to Berkeley though. That has to count for like ten years.”

Lily laughs.

“You should've shot your shot,” you agree.

“Isn't Florida super humid though,” Noah mentions tilting his head, reminding Lily that he's there and she can't help but flinch. “And there's tons of snakes and agitators everywhere.”

“I like snakes,” Britney notes.

He had been so sweet those last few weeks, Lily thinks to herself. Noah was always saying how she was much stronger because she could be kind even as everything was going to hell. In english, she'd burst into tears, sick and tired of having nightmares just to wake up to a living nightmare, and he'd chased after her, comforting her.

It had made his betrayal hurt all the more.

*

“So how exactly are you,” Lily asks, dancing around the subject. Surely it was rude to bring up that Noah had been dead.

“Alive,” he replies, quirking his brow, holding Britney's bag as he opens the door.

“Yeah. . .that.”

This time, when you and Noah look at each other, there's no boundless joy that fits in perfectly with the holiday season. You've even put up snowmen in the house's windows, and there's lights wrapped around the porch: off right now. It's just you looking at Noah with glassy eyes and Noah with an amount of tenderness in his eyes that Lily didn't know people were capable of in real life: the look people get when they're finally able to confess how in love they are in movies.

It's only there for a second and then Noah's making light of the whole situation, as if he can't stand to see that haunted look in your eyes, “Well you know what they say, when you wish upon a star-”

You roll your eyes, lightly smacking his arm, then changing your mind and squeezing his arm. “Don't be a dick.” Then you round your attention on Lily, “there's the shoe rack.” Before ushering the group into the living room. “I-I didn't,” you take a deep breath, tugging your coat off as you take a seat on a cheap navy cotton couch. “I guess I never stopped looking for a way,” you glance at Noah, “for a way to fix things. I mean, I still went back there for all the school breaks.”

You've stopped looking at Lily, gaze locked on Noah's. Pink dusts his cheeks and he ducks his head, looking alway, out into the quiet street, skyscrapers in the distance.

Britney purses her lips, listening intently. She heard accounts of this nature from Jocelyn. Dan knee better than to tell her anything about the woods back home.

“And I found it,” you finish without elaboration. Lily understands. Some things were, there were some things too awful to speak once again into being.

He slips his hand into yours, threading your fingers together.

It's sweet and though Lily's reservations remain, it's clear he loves you.

“Okay then,” Britney claps together, knowing full well she was ruining the moment, “how soon can we go shopping. I'm doing all my christmas shopping in Canada.”

“Because of the exchange rate,” Noah sneers, not missing a beat.

“Hardly,” Britney snaps back, “I'm a certified trophy wife now.” She smiles as she looks over at Lily who giggles.

*

It's two in the morning and Lily keeps tossing and turning. It's warm with the heater chugging away in the night. But she can't sleep.

They'd spent the whole day out, exploring the city. You'd gotten a few days off work. Britney had made you both carry bags and bags of gifts as promised.

At least she'd have plenty of time to wrap them. December had only just begun.

But Lily can't sleep.

It isn't the nightmares of her childhood: of Jane and all the things she wishes she had said no to, or those terrible months in which Lily had nearly died from sheer terror, but a pool of anxiety masquerading as restlessness.

She gets up, having visited you before back in Seattle, back when you had shared an apartment with Ava and a revolving door of roommates during college, and wonders if Ava knows. Ava, who messes around in the more supernatural corners of the world, who you had always been closest too.

Lily gets up and decides maybe a glass of water will calm her down as she chews over the idea of Noah and her both under the same roof.

She slips into the dark kitchen, with that weird anxiety that she was sneaking around that she could never shake even knowing that you wouldn't mind her going through your kitchen. She slips into the kitchen and nearly faints at the sight of Noah at the table.

He's sitting in pitch dark.

Only it isn't-

“-your eyes,” Lily hisses, breaking the calm of the twilight hours.

Noah's sitting in the dark reading.

Because his eyes are glowing blue like redfield when she was little and redfield was a friend and hadn't shown it's true nature.

Noah's eyes are glowing.

“Shit,” Noah says gently, reaching up to flip the lights on.

He moves slowly, but Lily still flinches.

“I'm sorry Lils,” he says, those three words encompassing so many years and the darkest parts of her life, casting a shadow over her whole life she can never escape because Westchester is home but it's also where it happened and Noah's a big part of why Lily spent a year having panic attacks: having flashbacks to that awful game. He says it and the last itchy scab over the deep wound Lily has harbored for years flakes off.

Lily does a little nod of acceptance, but keeps her eyes on his unnaturally reflective eyes, a light in the dark.

She swallows thickly.

That glass of water sounds amazing right about now.

“What are you doing reading in the dark,” she asks. It seems Noah had been right all those years ago; Lily was able to keep trying, a flower growing in a crack of cement.

“Studying,” Noah says calmly. “It's pretty boring actually. Sort of makes me wish I was still haunting the woods.” His smile is small, testing the waters.

Lily-she can't. She shits her eyes, shaking her head once, slow.

“Sorry,” he says easily, shutting a thick textbook, “coping mechanism.”

Lily thinks about all those nights she'd wake up in the middle of a nightmare, “is it a glitch then?” She tilts her head curiously, the way she spent hours going over the same file of code checking for any bugs: and mistakes that had slipped through the cracks.

“You could call it that. . .but they reckon that it's more of a give and take situation.” He fiddles with the sleeve of his shirt. “The power takes people but gives them power, and when, when they brought me back, I took something with me.”

For once, dread doesn't fill Lily at the mention of what lies in the woods back home.

Lily nods, and pours herself a glass of water. “What are you studying?”

“Psychology,” Noah answer's, “trying to do developmental psychology. I want to,” he waits a beat before finishing in a rush. “I'd like to be a child therapist.”

“I thought you wanted to go to culinary school,” Lily questions. She remembers you mentioning that once. Then there's the fact that Noah had brought her lunch to school a few times when he'd learned that Lily's parents had forced her into a diet.

“I did,” he shrugs. “Turns out I like to cook for myself more than anything.”

Lily smiles.

She's glad he's able to move on like she has.

“You know I use to have nightmares. Nothing really helped apart from-.”

“Tiring myself out,” you both finish.

Noah smiles grimly.

Lily drinks he water and keeps him company for a while.

*

*

*

Lucas

Logically, Lucas knows that Canada is not that different from the states yet he still feel like the place should be more exotic as he steps off the plane for work. It's grueling work really, the pay is bad and he flies economy more than is healthy for his back, but he likes keeping private corporations on their toes. That was the whole point of environmental science, though going to law school for the same thing is starting to look more and more appealing everyday.

He just feels like he doesn't have the weight to truly go after these people and hates having to pass off the cases when he knows he could do more.

But law school is. . .stressful.

He'd have already started his third year of law if he had just gone straight to law school after undergrad.

Lucas wonders if he's ready to manage that type of stress.

He gets off the plane and has to go directly to the non-profits office. It's a tiny little thing in a rougher part of the city; gone are the shiny sports cars and whole foods.

There's boxes of paperwork dating back from the 60s and he gets to work, drinking the cheap donut shop coffee that the office head, an amicable black man who still has a rhythmic african accent that Lucas isn't worldly enough to place, gives him with a shrug, “got to support our local businesses eh?”

Lucas nods. “Tell me about it. I feel like I missed out on the New York that was happening.” Ava had sent him a buy back the block patch and he really hadn't been surprised because she had always been opinionated and headstrong about it. If she was the town witch, well then she was going to be the biggest baddest witch.

He types a reminder into his notes to get her a souvenir.

He uses yelp to find a cheap diner, where he continues to pour over a thick manila folder--have to break up the work--and finds that he can smell the ocean here even when he can't exactly see it.

Lucas sets a reminder to himself to go enjoy the beach at least once.

Then he sees the reminder to call and ask Stacy where you were living. Lucas half wanted it to be a surprise, but worried he'd miss you.

He knew you liked going out dancing. And he had arrived on a Friday night.

It was unorthodox.

He usually worked strictly in the states since each country had their own laws and environmental precedent established by the courts. And alright, Lucas’ phone had a lot of law school tabs open. He was only twenty four. That wasn't too old for law school.

Weren't some students in legally blonde in their thirties?

Experience could give him an edge.

Lucas calls Stacy but it goes straight to voice mail.

Right, time difference.

He'd have to wait until tomorrow.

Having not exchanged any money as of yet, Lucas pays for his breakfast for dinner with his card and hopes the fee isn't too bad. Then he stuffs the folders and decides to walk to his hotel.

It's an hour long walk through town but years of being incredibly stressed had left him with the purposeful choice of slowing down when he could. Sometimes it felt like forcing himself to slow down, but he always felt better after a walk through a new city or sitting down with a fictional book even when he swore he didn't feel all wound up.

As far as cheap diners, tonight's was good and he had fun trying poutine.

Lucas walks through the tall buildings and wishes he hadn't worn a suit jacket. He should've worn a plain shirt or one of those gag gifts Andy was always sending him from various thrift stores. It might be further up north than even he grew up, but it was still hot in the summer.

Walking an hour in a casual suit was not his greatest idea, but the city carried the same vibrant energy the new york had. The energy that had encouraged Lucas to go to a house party--once.

He's walking by a street full of dive bars all blaring out nostalgic hits from his teenage years from Hannah Montana, which okay, to Kesha which sounded about right, and of course, Blackpink. The chalkboards outside all promise cheap drinks but Lucas isn't a big drinker.

He isn't sure how much of that is avoiding any substance that could get him hooked or if he's making that choice because he really doesn't like alcohol.

Lucas is just about through, about to by a monolithic building that has a bunch of displays in the windows, when he does a double take.

Noah fucking Marshall is smoking on the curb outside a bar, face flushed.

There's no doubt about it. Lucas would know that asshole anywhere. The same sharp jawline and prominent nose, brown hair curling around his ears only a few inches showered than it had in high school. He's wearing dark jeans and a black leather jacket over a white shirt and looking way too happy for a murderer.

Noah Marshall wearing aviators at night like the rat bastard he is!

The intense feelings of rage and wanting to hit something until the world righted itself surges in Lucas’ chest until there's a white hot anger in his throat and red clouding his vision.

He blacks out.

One second he's furiously gapping at the man-

the next

-Lucas is standing over Noah Marshall, knuckles on fire having just sucker punched the fucker.

Oh shit.

Noah looks just as surprised for a second as he looks up, blood beading up where his lips split open.

Lucas watches as recognition hits those bambi blue eyes---wait, blue.. .?

And then Noah shrugs, the ghost of a smile forming on his lips as he states, “yeah. I deserved that.”

There's a couple people looking over.

Lucas is still pissed as Noah gets up, dusting himself off and looking at the barely smoked cigarette on the ground as if he wants to smoke it, before grabbing the glasses and placing them back on instead.

Then, he grabs another cigarette, “want one,” he offers Lucas who no, wouldn't want one: wouldn't want anything from Noah if he was drowning and Noah had the only life jacket.

He was good with drowning.

Thanks.

Lucas, anger still fizzing under his skin like boiling water, asks, “how the fuck are you here!”

Noah shrugs, before slurring and it's then that Lucas realizes the other man is flushed drunk, “I live here,” without an ounce of sarcasm.

“You know exactly what I mean,” Lucas says, curling his lip and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh you know me. I'm just plotting world domination and decided Vancouver would be the perfect location for my evil villain lair. I've got a neon sign and everything.”

Lucas rolls his eyes, grinding his teeth together. “Do you always have to be such an asshole?”

Noah spreads his hands out and proceeds to do jazz hands, before taking a drag of his cigarette.

Fuck, Lucas feels like punching him again.

He's really thinking about it as he watches Noah, sure the idiot will try something again, when he hears your voice as you stumble out of the bar, “I knew it! You were going out for a smoke break!”

Noah's entire demeanor shifts, no longer the boy Lucas has built up in his head as the cause of all their problems. Over the years, he's decided that Noah had known from the start. In the depths of his denial, Lucas had told himself that Noah had kidnapped Dan. But, you appear, and Noah's turns bright pink as he hurried to stomp out the cigarette you've already seen like a naughty school boy, even as he turns and smiles as if you hung the sun in the sky and painted the night stars. It's lovesick the way you both look at each other with the fondness of ancient couples out for a walk in the park, lost in their own world.

However the fuck he's alive, Lucas realizes that this Noah, the real living Noah, has been just as freaked as the rest of them. It's something he hasn't thought about in years.

Noah had lost Jane.

It's enough for Lucas to unclench his hands even if he's still seething because what the hell, he still offered them all up on a silver platter. Redfield or Jane--whatever it was in the end--had given Ava powers and she hadn't stabbed your group of friends in the back.

You cross the distance quickly, and throw your arms around his middle, tipsy. That's probably why your smile is so pure-untouched by all the trauma and boring adult problems like remembering to pay the bills and having to call the cable company for the fifth time.

You don't even notice Lucas.

“What happened to your face,” you ask, raising your hand to cup Noah's cheek, frowning.

Noah nods over at Lucas.

You finally notice him.

“Lucas,” you wag your finger at him, still cuddled up to the man in question, “You can't punch Noah. Do you know how much trouble I went through to get him back?”

It shouldn't be possible, but Noah turns pinker.

“Aw babe,” Noah teases you with a familiarity that carries depth.

This wasn't a new development then.

“You really do care about me.”

This time, you round on Noah, wagging your finger menacingly, “Don’t be an idiot! Of course I love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me!”

Which has Lucas majorly side eyeing you.

Sure, Noah had grown up to be tall and not unattractive, as far as pasty white boys were concerned, but he'd still tried to kill everyone.

Noah also looks skeptical.

“What are you doing in town Lucas,” you then ask.

“Work,” Lucas replies blandly, as he tries to come to terms with this reality altering discovery. “You were dead.”

“That's not entirely true,” Noah muses philosophically, “Physically I was dead but technically I was still roaming the woods as a monster.”

Reflexively, you interject, resting your hand on his chest, “you're not a monster.”

“I thought you liked the shape of water.”

Which sends you squealing. “Noah!”

Lucas doesn't get it. You are the strongest person he knows who can talk to anyone and has a sense of determination that rivals a gold medalist: the one who kept everyone together during one of the shiftiest times in his life, and he's who you settle for! “If you have to say technically, you've already lost the argument.”

You snort.

Noah rolls his eyes good naturedly.

“Wait,” you realize, eyes going wide, “does that mean you're younger than me now.”

Noah tilts his head in thought, “physically. . .”

“Pretty sure that means yes,” Lucas adds, wondering how long Noah had been back for.

“Oh my god, I'm stealing from the cradle!”

Noah looks incredibly affronted as he blinks rapid looking down at you like you'd grown a second head.

“You mean cradle robbing?”

“I'm. . .twenty four,” Noah says. Not even he sounds convinced.

“Twenty two,” you correct archly. Then look at Lucas with a friendly smile, “you want to go get pho?”

“Right now!” Lucas checks his watch. It was already midnight. He should've been at his hotel room sleeping by now.

You nod.

Noah elaborates, “it's pricey but the broth hits different. They have some pretty good view of the city too.”

Two years. Noah had been back for two years and you never said anything.

Lucas can put up with Noah for a few hours to spend time with you. After all, you were the one who was putting up with him for life apparently.

“Should we let-,” you begging to ask, amusement dancing in your eyes, city lights reflected in the dark brown hue that had a quality of depth that made it easy to open up to you.

“Nah,” Noah smirks, “Sheer chatted some dude up, they won't even realize-”

“Rahul will though.”

“Psst, it's fine.”

You've both built a life here, far removed from any traces of Westchester. Maybe that's where he had gone wrong. Lucas had been so desperate to escape he's never found a place of his own, and still haunted by his one and only home: a place he wants nothing to do with. He needed to make a new home.

Law school wasn't sounding too shabby.

*

Noah leads the way.

*

A lightbulb turns on.

“What's with your eyes?” Lucas asks.

Noah chuckles, “sometimes you fall into a vat of radioactive waste because that's just the type of luck you have.”

You shake your head, amused. “Side effect. It's nothing serious. We checked.”

That doesn't comfort Lucas at all.

He wonders if Connor or Tom could fix that just to be sure Noah wouldn't suddenly go Redfield on you while you were sleeping.

Ugh, that was one mental image he didn't need.

“So what terrible horrifying government secret are you here investigating and does it have to do with a company hiding vats of radioactive waste,” you ask.

Lucas takes the bait.

He could and has talked people's ears off about the loose regulations on place on waste disposal among an array of industries.

*

*

*

Andy, Dan, Tom

This all starts with two things as far as Tom is concerned. First, they've all been talking for ages about doing a guys road trip after everyone still around Westchester had driven down to visit Ava. Not that the girls weren't fun, Tom thought to himself, but it just sounded nice.

He never had a sleepover growing up so this would make up for that. At least that was the idea.

Then Lucas called Andy freaking out about Noah Marshall and Connor could only nod and go, “yeah he was with them about a year. . almost two since we visited. I think it's already been two years.”

Which was a total mindfuck because why hadn't he mentioned anything.

Why hadn't Stacy?

Tom’s done some research into necromancy and it never ends well which is why they pile into Dan’s prius and hit the road to Vancouver Canada. Sans Connor because Vy is pregnant and Connor is glued to her side. “I think they were dating,” he also adds, bookmarking some cases around New Orleans that scream supernatural activity. That throws everyone for another mind loop as he clues the Pine Springs gang who wasn't there that senior year, why Noah Marshall shouldn't be alive, much less freely walking around. The only person who takes the news relatively well is Dan, who scratches his chin thoughtfully before saying, “that makes sense,” he nods to himself.

Andy rounds on him, ready to kick Noah's ass on sight which Tom will totally back him up on. Tom still can't handle spiders for which Danni and Jocelyn continue to tease him about.

“How in the fuck does that make sense,” Andy seeths, “that motherfucker landed you in a coma! I broke my leg and had to repeat senior year!”

Dan adds, “well you know, they spoke about how tragic his death was. And they used to have nightmares of him dying-”

They all turn to look at Dan.

“What,” Andy says, “when did they tell you that?”

Dan shrugs, “well they were always coming over that year and making a point to spend time with everyone but I always thought they looked sad and thinking about them alone on the edge of town,” he trails off. He’d never brought up your parents absence, but it was clearly felt. “So I went over to theirs when I could,” Dan finishes.

Andy shakes his head, “no. I don’t know what or how, but people don’t just come back from the dead and everything's sunshine and roses,” he crosses his arms against his chest and fumes across the entire state of New York.

Tom has to agree with Andy. There’s nothing in their research to suggest that people can just come back okay. Everything taken by the power ended up twisted into a funhouse version; it never ended well.

They stretch their legs in Cleveland, Andy still scowling. Every now and then he’ll rant about how Noah has to be up to something and he has to go save you from dying. Tom doesn’t bring it up, prefering to let Andy work through it now and wrap his head around Noah Marshall being alive on the car ride up to Canada, but Connor had said Noah’s been back for at least two years--wouldn’t he already have done something? He thinks of you and how you had been alone with Noah at the end. Maybe you had kept some things to yourself.

It was hard to relive trauma aloud.

It made it more real.

Tom sends Imogen a few snaps in Toledo as Andy blasts The White Stripes, to fit his mood.

He wishes Parker had been able to get the days off. Having someone at a distance from the situation might help everyone keep their cool. He knows he won’t stop Andy from beating Noah’s ass.

Dan picks up postcards in Chicago for everyone, as they sit by the famous Bean eating pizza.

“I can’t tell if this is better or if I’m fucking starving,” Andy admits, on his third slice.

Dan snorts, looking up from his lap where he’s writing out the postcards, wanting to send them quickly, “so they make it back before we do.”

Tom takes a walk around the plaza, thinking that fall really was the best weather, cold enough for a sweater without being too freezing and the sun didn’t burn.

They don’t stop in Wisconsin or Minnesota except for gas and Mcdonalds.

Andy sleeps as Tom takes over the driving.

Dan’ll be up next.

“Please play something other than Beach House,” Tom complains at Dan, “this is going to make me fall asleep.”

Dan chuckles, “Its good night driving music.”

“No Dan,” Tom shakes his head with a smile

The sun rises, and Tom gets to sleep.

He wakes up in Rapid City, South Dakota and they have to recreate that awful Hilary Clinton, “just chilling in Rapid City,” Andy says mockingly.

Dan almost chokes on his coffee.

Montana is so fucking beautiful and Tom’s seized with the sudden urge to come live out here. “We could totally do it,” he tells the other men, “it’s cheap out here. We could buy a huge piece of land and never have to deal with any bullshit again. Our friend group could do it. Danni’s really handy and Lily could set us up with wifi!”

“Bro,” Andy says gravely, “you know I love you, but I’m not moving to Montana with you.”

Dam smiles softly, “Danni would have a field day taking pictures here.”

Montana is beautiful and green and none of the nature here has that heavy feeling the woods in Westchester do, but they’re tired and exhausted from being on the road for the last two days. They crash at a motel 8 and sleep for the next twelve hours.

*

They ask this beautiful woman who's wearing birks and has a tote bag emblazoned “love your mother” with a planet earth painted on, to take a picture of them in front of Pike Place Market. Dan has her number before Tom’s done sending the pictures to his Pine Springs groupchat, teasing Parker about having stayed behind to yell at teenagers smoking weed while driving boats around the lake: accidents waiting to happen.

Tom has never been to Seattle.

He knows most of his friends from Westchester have  to visit you or Ava, and he's grown close to Ava, but at the time he was more of a friend of a friend and so never flew up to Seattle.

“Is it lame I'm still tired,” Andy asks, as they find a park to sit down at. It felt so good to be able to lay in the grass instead of sitting cramped up in the car.

“Age is starting to hit us.” Dan muses. “Either of you want to come get some things with me.”

His friend snorts, “Haven't you gotten enough gifts for everyone?” Which, yeah, Dan has been accumulating a small horde of souvenirs in the back for all his friends. He's a thoughtful guy. Tom’s not surprised the man’s a nurse. If he'd had Dan as a nurse when he was a kid, he might not completely hated going to the doctors office.

“I was kinda thinking about getting something from every state,” Dan says, blushing red as he rubs the back of his neck.

“I think it's sweet,” Tom says, clasping a hand on the other man's back. “Cheesy, but sweet.”

Andy shakes his head, “we should've gotten there by now. If only we hadn't stopped in Montana-”

“Noah's not going anywhere,” Dan points out, “you can kick his ass tonight or tomorrow.”

“They know we’re coming,” Andy scowls, “He could be halfway around the world by now.”

“Just remember Lucas already sucker punched him,” Tom offers his friend as consolation.

Dan shakes his head a little, but stays silent. Tom hasn't been able to get Dan’s feelings on the whole situation. He can’t imagine him being completely ambivalent or cool with Noah getting off scot free, but then again, Tom doesn’t know every little detail.

No one talks about it in detail even in their little power club that Connor and him started up.

He gets it.

It’s not something anyone wants to linger on.

And he understands better than most.

His monster was different, but no less horrifying.

“I’ll go with you,” Tom offers Dan, because this is a new city and even though the point is to go see what's up with Noah, and make sure he isn’t still the shadow monster he was the last time Tom saw him, he still wants to make the most of it.

“Two hours,” Andy says with a warning. “Two hours or I leave you in Seattle.”

“Sure, sure,” Tom shakes his head. Andy would never do them like that.

“If you’re coming we should go to the space needle,” Dan says thoughtfully, taking out his phone to begin google mapping the places he wants to hit up.

“Two hours!” Andy calls back from where he’s watching a couple people play basketball.

*

Tom discovers he has a thing about heights as they ascend via an elevator. It’s a slow day and the elevator operator talks him through it, telling him all sorts of bad puns and more information about the space needle then he can remember. “Sarah Palin came by the other day,” the woman who looks to be about their age with green ringlets and a friendly smile that doesn’t seem to be forced like most customer service workers smile (smile through the pain), “and she said she could see Alaska from here! Get it?”

Tom tries to smile, but yeah, he’s never doing this again. “Did you see the masked singer with Sarah Palin?”

The girl nods, “how the mighty have fallen. You think there's an alternate universe where she was vice president and insead Joe Biden’s on Dancing with the Stars?”

Tom’s laugh dies in his throat as the elevator jolts to a stop. It certainly feels like a huge jolt, but that may be his anxiety making everything elven times worse.

“Well thank you for riding air force two,” she salutes as Tom finally steps into the platform.

Sweet, sweet relief.

He sort of has to go take a picture or two off the viewing platform. He’s made it this far.

“She was totally into you,” Dan says, stepping in to take Tom’s mind off things.

“Was not.”

“Totally was.”

Tom rolls his eyes, “she was just being nice.”

“Sure man, sure. But she was.”

*

They arrive even later than Andy had predicted. It’s midnight and proof that they had dallied in Seattle for two long. This is the first time Dan has ever left the country so of course they stop and take pictures.

And then they stop and eat at the cute little cabin lodge just off the highway.

And even Andy forgets about the Noah business.

They pull into the street, disappearing from the city in the turn onto the street. It’s crazy how much of a difference a street can make. A little quiet row of houses tucked under the twinkling lights of the city lights.

Your house is a small one story thing, clearly an older home from before cookie cutter houses came into fashion, and with a certain amount of charm even with the dead plant by the doorstep: closer to a cottage than a house like something out of Snow White. There’s even a ouija board doormat that Tom thinks is completely in line with your humor and probably Noah’s as well. He just doesn’t remember much about Noah when he was alive. Last time Tom saw Noah, Noah was saying sorry to the birds. People could change.

Right?

It’s not like Noah had gone all Zodiac Killer on his friends.

The lights are off and Tom feels kind of bad that he’s about to wake you up, but he also really wants to crash in an actual bed.

Dan knocks on your door as Andy paces behind Tom.

A minute later, you peak your head out the door. Your navy blue sweater is cuffed around your hands, clearly meant for someone taller, helping to stave off the autumn chill, and grey flannel pajama pants. You rub your eyes with the back of your hand as you yawn. “You’re here,” you smile and hug Dan with one arm, “do you need any help with the bags.”

“The bags can wait until tomorrow,” Dan answers for the group, “I just want to sleep in a real bed.”

You snort, “don’t actually have a guest room,” you admit, keeping your voice down as you usher them all inside, “but I do have a pretty comfortable pull out couch and way too many quilts. I have to stop going to Victoria Island.”

Andy looks around, tense.

Tom’s a little surprised when you hug him too. “Want any food? There’s a ton of leftovers. Noah’s been stress baking. He has a bunch of exams this week.,” you say with such casualness.

“We already ate,” Dan offers, “there was this cool looking log cabin that sold me on pumpkin spice muffins.”

“Where is Noah,” Andy asks, cutting right to the quick.

You look at him pointedly as you explain, “he went to sleep early. He’s got school at like 7 am. I have no clue why. . .college was all about afternoon classes for me.”

Andy wisely, let’s it go for the moment.

You show them where things are, the couch is already extended. The TV’s sitting on a pile of textbooks with a nintendo switch right next to it.

Tom is out before his head hits the pillow.

*

They wake up and eat the promised leftovers as you rush to find the spare key to leave with your friends before you too have to go to work. “I would've asked for the day off like I did for the rest of the week,” you hastily explain, filling the electric kettle with water, “but it was Maureen’s birthday and I would’ve felt like such a dickhead.”

You make Dan promise to come look through the Museum you work at before it closes, and then you’re running off with a tumbler full of tea, putting a hand through your hair as if that’ll save it from looking like a mess. Tom’s unsurprised at your easy nature when they’re all imposing, making no secret of the real reason they had driven all the way to the other coast of North America.

Andy conducts a walkthrough of the house, leaving the sole bedroom of the house alone.

Dan shakes his head, flipping through the TV channels, before logging onto your netflix account, the most recent show having been played was Avatar the Last Airbender. “Anything you want to watch?”

“The good place,” Tom offers, “everyone’s always saying it's good.”

Dan shrugs. “I wouldn’t know. I don’t have netflix.”

Andy comes back with a picture frame clutched in his hand, “He’s such a dick!” Red seeping into his neck as he fumes.

Tom looks over at the picture, but it’s just a photo any normal couple would have hanging around their house: a blurry polaroid of you and Noah, each with a red solo cup at some house party, with the date, over a year ago, written on the border. He gets it, he does. And Andy’s his friend, so he nods.

Dan on the other hand, “okay. . .”

Andy disappears back down the hall. “I just don’t understand how they kept this from us! I mean-after what he did!”

Tom nods the same way he always had when his dad would start lecturing him in japanese even though his japanese is limited to whatever the japanese equivalent of Dora the explorer teaching spanish is.

“Probably so we wouldn’t freak out,” Dan offers, not looking away from the screen.

Andy marches back into the living room with a deep set frown, “Noah was fine offering us up to that monster and now they’re here playing house like nothing ever happened.” He sits down next to Tom, head in his hand. “I just don’t get it.”

He clasps a hand on Andy’s shoulder in comfort.

“Maybe they just wanted to forget as much as we did,” Dan notes quietly. “Some of us left and never really went back.” He’s talking about Lily and Lucas, who only visits during the holidays, then there’s Ava out in Arizona, busy doing field research and only going to Westchester in between jobs. Dan’s an hour away, a world away, near Stacy.

It’s really just Andy and Connor who stayed.

He’s in Pine Springs, a good hour to the west of Westchester.

“He died,” Andy grumbles out, “it could’ve easily been them, or any of us, or all of us. We’re lucky no one else did.”

Dan frowns, looking over at Andy, “I don’t like this anymore than you do. I’m not jazzed that Noah’s been back for years and we just found out. But I trust their judgement.”

“Necromancy is serious business,” Tom says, breaking the staring contest that’s started between the two friends.

*

Noah’s at least a little bit of a coward, as he saunters up to them, running a hand through his hair as he takes a seat at the table.

You had said this diner had the best malai kofta in the neighborhood.

He’s resting expression is still skewed towards sour, even as there’s other noticeable changes from the Noah Tom remember’s who’d kept to himself in school. His hair cut into a flattering undercut, clothes no longer on the angsty scruffy side but still decidedly casual as he opts for a dark palette, and of course, the blue eyes that seem to glow even in the afternoon light Lucas had mentioned in great detail. Noah’s clean shaven and lean, a backpack slung over his shoulder.

He only spares Tom a second’s glance before he focuses in on you, his lips quirk-ing up in a small smile. Sitting down, you lean forward expectantly as he plants a kiss on your cheek by way of greeting, before saying, “C’s make degrees right?”

“Mhm,” you nod, “but you did fine so it doesn’t matter. I ordered you the chicken and waffles. That’s what you usually get right?”

“Actually,” Noah starts, clearly about to tease you.

You shove his shoulder lightly, “beggars can’t be choosers.”

Dan extends an olive branch, “hey Noah.”

Which Andy immediately shoots down, “so it’s true.”

Tom’s only glad they’re already sitting and yeah, Noah’s a coward for meeting them in public, not that it had stopped Lucas from sucker punching him. It probably won’t stop Andy, only he’s sandwiched in between Dan and Tom and there’s no way Dan is getting up and out just so Andy can punch Noah. That’s not the kind of friend Dan is. Dan’ll take someone away to cool off, sprouting lines about being the bigger person, but Tom thinks that sometimes a punch is well earned.

Noah nods, sobering up, rating his arms on the table. “Yeah. It’s still. . . it’s still a trip nearly four years later.”

You cover his hand with yours, giving Noah’s hand a squeeze.

Now that they’re here with Noah, a burst of curiosity that’s been brewing in the back of Tom’s mind finally surges forward. “Do your eyes always glow? Or is it light a cat’s iridescence and that’s why you can read in the dark?”

“Gee, let me give you the paperwork the doctor diagnosed me with after I explained that my sister became a shadow monster and I came back to life. He was super nice and helpful about everything. We really don’t pay doctors enough.”

Andy rolls his eyes, “So are you still a monster or not.”

Noah frowns, before leading forward, gripping a glass of ice in hand pointedly, lifting it off the table, watching his own action with a sad fascination, “you can’t begin to imagine how nice it is to be solid again--to be more than a lingering ghost who can barely remember who it used to be.”

Which doesn’t answer the question but--

Some monsters were all too human for comfort. And some monstrous beings ended up friends and allies back in Pine Springs.

*

You and Dan walk up ahead arm in arm, chatting about everything from how cozy ll bean’s wool socks were to how you wanted to branch out and leave your job but it just couldn't be a bank, working in a cubical all day seemed like a death sentence. Dan fills you in on the news from back home and you both catch up as you walk at a leisurely pace back to your home.

Somehow, Noah manages to be patient as Tom rattles off question after question.

“Do you remember much?”

“What was it like coming back?”

“Can you do any magic thought,” he purses his lips in thought, “that doesn’t tell us much, since Ava’s out there levitating feathers.”

“Are any of your other senses better?”

“Do you have any other changes after coming back?”

“Can you speak to animals now?”

“Do you ever get a craving for human flesh?”

“Your limbs don’t fall off or anything? Right?”

“You have all your memories back?”

“Do you ever see any ghosts?”

“Can you see ghosts?”

Noah answers them patiently, if amused, as Andy skulks behind, clearly listening in on the conversation.

“How did they bring you back,” Tom finally asks, having spent countless nights researching necromancy. It had crept up in the Pine Spring’s society books, journals detail all sort of gorey accounts of their attempts to harness the power to gain power over the dead and living, but none of it had ever amounted to anything. At least in the best case.

One member had rotted away from the inside out, black mold blooming in his lungs, incurable as he choked to death after trying to raise a simple cat from the dead.

Noah tenses up, glancing over to where you’re laughing as Dan does a spot on Bernie impression about how it’s time to once again, “ask for a The man from U.N.C.L.E. sequel,” before meeting Tom’s gaze again. “You’ve formed a little club to keep the power away from people right?”

He nods, “I just-I don’t want more people to go through what we have,” he explains. They had to be proactive and learn so that no one else would stumble upon the power and exploit it to violent ends. Ava’s magic wasn’t derived from the power. Tom had double checked that. Ava’s magic was her own through her own sheer will.

But the power-that was something else entirely.

He swallows thickly.

Nothing had happened so far. And he couldn’t tell if their plan was working, or if they had gotten lucky. It had been a handful of years. But then, a decade had passed between Jane Marshall’s death and her awakening.

“And no one else ever will,” Noah says forlornly.

“Explain,” Andy says, walking up on Noah’s other side.

The man looks up at you, as you and Dan wait by the street corner for the rest of the group to catch up, and he shakes his head. “All you need to know is the power won’t be a problem again.”

*

Tom runs the problem over and over in his mind as they explore Vancouver and Andy continues to get digs in at Noah while Noah lets him.

*

He thinks about it as Andy makes everyone watch #Alive. And then Dan reminds them how obsessed everyone was with Inception when it came out. And Tom thinks about Noah’s words. And then you suggest watching something lighter: Zoolander.

*

Tom plays Noah’s words over in his head as he stares up at the ceiling, listening to Andy’s snores.

*

He puzzles over what Noah meant, why he didn’t want to bother you with it, as he drives back across the continent.

*

The power takes.

*

The power gives.

*

He gets it as they stop for gas in New York.

*

Oh, you really must love him.

*

*

*

Ava

Ava walks into Tom’s house out in Pine springs. It’s summer and she’s ready to spend the entire week swimming and continuing the search for a black lipstick that won’t stain. Fenty came pretty close.

There’s tons of cars in the driveway and she knows she’s the last one to get there; she always did like an entrance.

She tries the doorknob before knocking, hearing the laughter and conversation carry outside. The house is unlocked so she lets herself in; she likes to make entrances, guilty as charged, before following the sound of voices into the back porch overlooking the lake.

Tom had lucked out in buying this place during the summer the lady of the lake terrorized the town.

She’s frozen in shock when she sees Noah sitting with everyone like he hasn't been dead for over eight years. He’s sitting with an arm around you, beer in his other hand, talking with Lily, in a faded AC/DC shirt and dark jeans despite the heat.

Ava pinches herself to make sure she isn’t dreaming.

“Ava,” Lily cries, spotting her, “you’re here.”

“What the fuck!”

Realization dawns on your face as Noah looks over at the resident goth chick who’s withered into a refined goth woman, less fishnet and more victorian mourning shirts paired with flared black and white leggings, for the first time in eight years and seven months.

“Hey Ava,” he says, lifting his hand up in greeting from where it’s resting on your shoulder.

Your face heats up, as you look at Ava, realizing you’d never gotten around to telling her. Not when you’d visited her for Thanksgiving even though she refused to participate in a propaganda holiday that “perpetuates colonialism” or the time last year when you’d gone to support her big lecture at UMississipi. It had never seemed the right time and now the time to calmly explain was gone.

“Someone explain before I light him on fire,” Ava utters, feeling heat grow in her fingertips. It was easy after years of practice. She was toying with the idea of buying a house in Salem.

Noah doesn’t even flinch.

How could he, having grown up with Jane for a sister that had gone around filling people shoes with mud and shoving people into pools with a laugh. That girl had been fearless, and Ava has long thought if she’d been an inch more scared, you and Jane never would have gone into those ruins.

It almost warms Ava’s cold dead heart.

Ha.

If Ava had sometimes been the third wheel with you and Jane, then Noah had been the ugly duckling waiting for a scrap of attention because Jane shone bright, a sunflower soaking up light, thriving on attention. Maybe Noah hadn’t been all that bothered to let his sister take the lead as kids, even as he grumbled about the trouble they were sure to get into, but neither Marshall twin had cared about anyone’s attention more than yours.

Jane had always been a limpet, her hand in yours.

Ava had been too independent even at nine to always go along with Jane, or want a friend that close.

But you didn’t just go along with Jane, you encouraged her, and dragged Noah along when Jane got too caught up in her made up games to remember to play nice. Noah who even at nine seemed clued into the fact that you were hurt that your parents were never around, something that never occurred to Jane.

So she’s not surprised that Noah and you are a thing.

Figures.

You’d kissed more than one white boy that could vaguely pass for Noah if you had enough to drink in college even if you had only dated twice and neither had been Noah Marshall knockoffs.

It’s glaringly obvious in hindsight.

What she doesn’t get is how he’s alive.

And everyone’s just cool with it.

“I thought you already knew,” Dan says.

Lily looks at you, “didn’t you tell Ava first?”

You raise a brow, “I thought Lucas told everyone?”

Lucas shrugs, wearing a suit in the summer, “I did. I just figured Ava already knew”

Stacy sips her cocktail, “awkward.”

“Wow,” Noah jokes with a grin, “you guys are terrible friends.”

Andy almost chokes on his beer, sending Noah a look that would’ve made Medusa jealous.

Danni shakes her head, “too soon dude, too soon.”

Maybe she should move into Cora’s old house. That way she could keep up with her friends' news.

How the hell did she miss Noah coming back to life.

That was metal as fuck.

She and you would have words about keeping secrets.

“Just give me the strongest drink you can make,” she says with a shake of her head, taking a seat next to Imogen, the resident mixologist.

[jjba-arni-reblog]

Cafe dates and small worries

[The 2nd work for an another winner of the raffle @another-leftover-noodle. This time, it is a nice and fluffy Jotakak work. It is now the longest work of mine. It was my first time writing for Jotakak]

Pairing: Jotaro/Kakyoin

Time: not specified but mostly likely university/school.

Words: 3.6K (jesus)

~~~

It wasn’t frequent that Jotaro Kujo felt nervous. He was usually calm and collected no matter the situation, always analysing everything before acting.

So why was he now aggressively fidgeting with his shirt? Having sweaty palms and a hard time standing in one place, instead pacing a little in his room.

Jotaro will be going on a date.

However, one might think of it as nothing unusual, a lot of girls throughout his school life confessed to Jotaro, even going as far as to follow him desperately. Yet he always denied any advances, sometimes even harshly telling the girls to stop screaming.

But today was different. It wasn’t the usual fans of his that finally got a positive answer. It was his long-time friend Kakyoin Noriaki. The idea of going out with him made Jotaro anxious. Because unlike any other people he knew, he felt strongly about his noodle-haired friend. He couldn’t really say he ‘loved’ Noriaki but all these times Kujo’s heartbeat speed up at the sight of Kakyoin, him talking about games and manga, his laugh and smile. Those moments existed and it would be ignorant to deny them.

Surprisingly, he was the one to ask Kakyoin out, even in his cold and restrained way.

“Kakyoin” Jotaro’s voice cut through the room as the only source of the sound was a game Kak was currently playing. F-mega, to be exact.

“I told you to call me Noriaki” the teenager noted, still focused on his game “What is it?”

“Do you want to go out?” Jotaro wasn’t facing the man, instead also focused on the TV screen before him.

“Now? I mean we went out already before coming to my place” Kakyoin answered, confused a little. Kujo couldn’t help but to say his catchphrase, hoping he didn’t have to spell out what he meant to his friend.

“I mean later”

“It’s kinda late” was the only answer he got, Noriaki’s eyes still on the screen before him

‘This dense fucker, is he joking or what?’ Jotaro felt himself getting annoyed and flustered a little.

“You know what I mean, Kakyoin, stop playing dumb” Jotaro said tiredly, his eyes now on his friend, hoping that Kak would stop pretending.

Kakyoin paused his game, mirroring Jotaro’s actions and looking up to him. The tiniest of smirks was present on his face as he continued “I am afraid I do not understand what you meant. Can you explain it to me?”

“You know what I asked you” Jotaro pushed forward, feeling himself flustered at the idea of having to ‘explain’ to his crush the question. Sitting right next to Kakyoin didn’t make it any better.

“Not really” Noriaki shrugged, still not giving in. There was something about a shy and possibly annoyed Jotaro that made him continue to play dumb.

“Kakyoin”

“I told you to call me Noriaki” the cherry-loving man reminded Kujo.

“Don’t change the topic” Jotaro felt himself getting annoyed at the mischievous nature of his dear friend.

“I am not changing anything; it is you who is getting all hot and bothered by something. Are you okay?” Kakyoin paused his game, turning to look at Jotaro as the latter tried to hide behind his hat.

“I am fine!” Jotaro snapped, looking away further. He could practically hear teasing tones in Noriaki’s voice.

“Why are you so red?” the man leaned forward, trying to get a better look at the flustered and annoyed Kujo.

“I am not! Fucking hell, just answer the question”

“Which one?” Kakyoin gave up on trying to keep it in, instead starting to laugh.

“Okay, fuck this, I am leaving” Jotaro suddenly stood up as Kakyoin continued to laugh. The latter quickly caught his friend by a sleeve. A playful grin was plastered across his face

“Alright, alright, Jotaro, sit down, I won’t joke anymore” Noriaki tried to calm down, now chuckling slightly. His hand moved to squeeze Jotaro’s one, hoping to reassure the annoyed man. Kujo sat down rather harshly, still not meeting Kakoyin’s gaze but also not letting go of his hand.

“Well?”

“I would be happy to go out with you, Jotaro”

Back to Jotaro’s worries. The man stopped, now looking at himself in the mirror what felt like 10th time today. He wanted to make sure he looked appropriate. For once, Jotaro changed his gray shirt into a somewhat nice purple dress shirt, although, he keeps his long black school jacket on. He didn’t need to show Kakyoin that he went out of his way to dress nice. He was Jotaro Kujo after all. But the new touch of purple looked nice on him.

He took a deep breath, patting his back pocket to check if he had put money there. It was the 5th time he checked it within the two minutes, cursing under his breath at his own nervousness. Finally, putting on his hat, tiredly proclaiming ‘fuck it’, Jotaro left his room, moving towards the residence’s exit.

Kujo was slightly praying that he won’t encounter his mom on his way towards, noting to himself that it would be annoying to tell her that he is leaving the room in what felt like forever and the reason behind it is to meet his ‘friend’. His mom would know something his up and Jotaro definitely didn’t feel like telling her the truth. Not today at least. And maybe never.

Luck wasn’t on Jotaro’s side today. He felt steps approach him as he reached the exit, now eyeing his shoes and hoping to escape without the unnecessary chat.

“Jotaro!” Holly’s warm voice resonated in the hallway, making the teenager accept his fate “what a nice sight to see you go out for once” she noted, standing behind her son as the latter hoped she wouldn’t see him dressed up ‘nice’. One glance and numerous questions will be dropped upon him. However, Jotaro didn’t even need to do anything. Before his mother could say anything, Kujo spoke.

“What do you need? I am busy” he half-growled, putting his shoes on lazily. There was no escape from the talk so one might as well start it.

“Where are you going, Jotaro?” Holly asked eagerly, happy tones present in her voice.

“Why does this interest you?” the man answered, still facing away as he finished putting on his shoes, now standing up.

“Well, you are my lovely son after all! And I am interested in your life! Oh?” Holly suddenly inhaled sharply as if concluding “Are you…going to meet someone?”

Oh, she noticed the shirt

“Oh, that is so wonderful! Lemme me see you properly” Holly came closer to him as Jotaro felt himself getting annoyed at her excitement. She quickly stepped in front of him, patting his houlder and looking at the dress shirt “You are dressed nicely for once! I am so happy to see my handsome son going out with-“

“Shut up!” Jotaro spoke out, feeling the annoyance overwhelm him. He wasn’t used to such attention. Not when he is going out. Especially not when he is going out with Kakyoin. “You are annoying” he stated, turning his body away from her. He expected the same cheerful voice to continue talking, however such never came.

For once, Holly was quiet. His mother could only mumble “Ah, alright, I am sorry, Jotaro”, she fumbled with her hands, not knowing what to do. For once, she didn’t push forward. For once, she felt sincerely sad at her son’s words. Jotaro’s eyes widened at that.

Holly was about to turn and walk away from her son, her head unusually low, when Jotaro swiftly caught her arm, making her stop.

“Hey, mom” Jotaro called for her, his voice unusually calm and soft.

Holly silently turned to look at her son, forcing a smile.

“…Do I look okay?” the tiny question could be heard as Jotaro still hid his face away.

Holly suddenly felt a wave of happiness, hearing her son’s nervous voice.

She stepped in front of Jotaro, fixing his jacket a little and making sure he looked his best. The student could only turn his head a little to the side, somewhat embarrassed at her soft smile. Yet somewhere deep inside he was glad that his mom was smiling again.

“Now you look perfect” Holly stepped back, looking at her handsome son. Jotaro mumbled his favorite phrase, turning around to exit the household. His mother eagerly waved, telling him to have fun.

~~~

Now Jotaro was panicking, feeling his hands shake a little, nervously waiting at the spot he and Kakyoin were supposed to meet. Except there was no sign of the latter man. Multiple worrisome thoughts ran through Jotaro’s mind. He was overthinking the situation.

Was he on time?

Did he arrive too early?

Was it even the right day?

The right time?

Maybe Kakyoin didn’t want to see him

Oh god, what if-

“Jotaro!”

Suddenly he heard a familiar voice. Kakyoin was rapidly approaching him, panting a little, indicating that the man must have ran here.

Jotaro quietly let out a sign of relief, glad that his worries and speculations were nothing more than overthinking. He also took notice at the casual look of his friend. Kakyoin’s usual school uniform was unbuttoned, showing a pastal red shirt under it. It was an unusual look yet Jotaro quickly found himself enjoying such sight of Kakyoin.

Kakyoin finally reached Kujo, taking couple of seconds to breathe after such intense run/walk.

“Sorry!” he quickly bowed, worry in his voice “I was caught up with something” Kakyoin looked up at Jotaro, explaining himself.

“It’s alright but” Jotaro spoke up, eyeing the man before him “what would that be, Kakyoin?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“Nothing” Kakyoin tried to dismiss the question quickly.

“Bullshit”

“Art project” another try.

“Bullshit again” Jotaro rolled his eyes, now looking directly at Kakyoin, he noted the tired and somewhat red eyes, an indication that the man must have not got enough sleep “Your eyes tell me that someone played F-mega the whole day” Kujo finished his theory.

“Well, aren’t you a detective” Kakyoin chuckled at the deductive skills of his ‘friend’, quickly winking  “Are my eyes pretty at least?” he asked, a small smirk appearing on his face.

“Don’t avoid the question” Jotaro sighed at his reply.

Jesus, of course they are Jotaro thought to himself, slightly annoyed at the usual cheeky comments by Kakyoin.

“Oh, right, let’s check out the café” Kakyoin suddenly turned around, hoping to end the conversation about his sleeping schedule.

“Kakyoin”

“Can’t hear you over the sound of my hungriness”

“That’s not how it works”

Before Jotaro could say anything else, Noriaki was quick to take Jotaro’s hand into his own, leading the man towards the café.

“Let’s go”

Jotaro couldn’t help but to try and hide his quickly becoming red cheeks with the hat, mumbling his favorite phrase.

~~~

The two of them sat I the small secluded café. The soft acoustic music was playing while the two of them waited for their orders (they wanted to have a lunch before trying the desserts). Jotaro and Kakyoin sat at the cozy place at the back of the café, seemingly enjoying each other’s company. They sat opposite of each other, placed on the soft sofas, perfect for the long talks.

“How’s your art project going?” Jotaro asked, leaning back on the sofa.

“Somewhat alright, still, I am a bit nervous about it” Kakyoin answered, sighing a little. The man always tried to make sure that everything is perfect.

“Mhm” Jotaro simple mumbled to himself.

“Well, not even a ‘oh baby, I am so sorry you are hurt?’” Kakyoin suddenly teased the man, making a dramatic expression to further make Jotaro roll his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you expect me to say that to you” Kujo noted, hoping to end the conversation before Kakyoin could tease him some more. His pale face can only take so much of Kakyoin’s cheesy nature.

“Well, who knows” Noriaki shrugged, lifting his eyebrows a little to annoying Jojo more.

“I’d rather not”

“Speaking of cute nicknames…” Kakyoin continued with the topic.

“Hmm?” this peaked Jotaro’s interest.

“Why don’t you call me by my first name?” Kakyoin wondered, also leaning back and crossing his arms, yet he had a soft expression on his face.

“I don’t know”

“I started calling you Jotaro right away” Noriaki pushed further.

“Well, Kujo doesn’t really sound nice” Jojo noted, not

“Still, Jotaro, do call me Noriaki” Kakyoin concluded. It was more of a reminder than a request. He didn’t really expect Jotaro to try and call him ‘Noriaki’ but he decided to ask anyway. As long as Jotaro even called him, it was enough.

“I will try”

“Does that mean ‘I will probably disregard your request and try to avoid this conversation in the future?’” Kakyoin raised an eyebrow, his eyes full of playfulness.

“Yeah” Jotaro chuckled, making Kakyoin’s eyes widen a little. Kakyoin found himself liking the sound.

~~~

After the two of them were finished with the main dish, thy decided to order desserts. Jotaro was quick to look over the list, deciding that he wasn’t particularly interested in sweets today.

“What do you want to order?” Kakyoin asked, still looking at the menu.

“Tea probably” Jotaro answered, leaning back on the small soft couch, his eyes now on Kakyoin.

“Boring, try something new” the latter man rolled his eyes at the reply, so much of trying sweets. But at the same time, he expected such answer from Kujo.

“Well, what about you?” Jotaro challenged Noriaki.

“Cherry desert” he answered, closing the menu and also sitting up to now look at Jotaro.

“Predictable, try something new” Kujo smirked a little, seeing somewhat annoyed and cheeky look on Kakyoin’s face. The latter returned the gesture, chuckling a little.

“You got me there” Noriaki smiled, relaxing as they waited for the waiter to approach. Jotaro was trying hard to keep himself under control as the man felt his heart speed up at the sight of chuckling Noriaki. There was something pleasant and happy about him, that Jotaro couldn’t explain.

~~~

After the dessert for Kakoyin and a cup of tea for Jotaro were placed before them, Kujo took notice of the single cherry placed on the piece of cake. He knew exactly where this was going and he was not ready.

“Do you mind?” Kakyoin asked, pointing at the cherry as he was about to take it from the piece of cake.

“It’s not like it will stop you”

“Absolutely” Kakyoin laughed, quickly taking the cherry into his mouth and doing his usual ‘trick’. Jotaro was half-disgusted , half-amused.

“That’s disgusting, Kakyoin” Jotaro noted, sighing a little at the multiple ‘rero’ noises coming from Noriaki.

“But cool nonetheless” Kakyoin answered back, finally eating the cherry but not without taking a good look at Jotaro

“Maybe I can teach you how to tie cherry knot?” the cherry-lover winked.

“Good grief”

~~~

While the evening proceeded slowly and mostly without any problems, Jotaro found himself getting worried. His insecurities caught up to him yet again, making the man worry over the date.

Is he doing it the right way?

Does he need to be open more?

Maybe Kakyoin is getting bored

“Hey” suddenly, a voice called for him, making Jotaro swiftly look up to the person. Kakyoin was smiling lightly, worry present in his eyes. Noriaki reached for his hand, drawing soft patterns on the back f Jotaro’s palm and squeezing a little to help Kujo to calm down.

“It is okay, I am nervous as well, Jotaro” Kakyoin spoke out, smile still on his face. Jotaro noted once again the precise timing. Kakoyin must have felt how anxious he has become, now hoping to ease Jotaro’s worries. Kujo didn’t know how, but Noriaki always succeeded in doing so.

“You don’t look like it” Jotaro felt himself at ease, now fully meeting Kakyoin’s gaze. He allowed himself to smile back at man before him.

“Well, maybe I do not show it but I am” Kakyoin shrugged, answering Jotaro and then adding “and I am also happy to be here with you” he squeezed Jotaro’s hand a little. The latter was quick to use his free hand to lower his hat, muttering a small ‘thank you’. This made Kakyoin chuckle as he retrieved his hand back.

Jotaro noted to himself that he missed the warm feeling right away yet couldn’t find the strength to take Noriaki’s hand again.

~~~

The two of them sat in the café for almost the entire evening, noting the time after many hours. Two men exited the café, now walking towards Jotaro’s home. Noriaki insisted on walking Jotaro back home and it was shorter that way anyways.

While Kakyoin was fully into telling the most random facts to Kujo, the latter man was once again analysing his actions. This time, he really wanted to take Kakyoin’s hand. The thought of it kept bugging him since the incident in the café.

“Jotaro….Jotaro!”

“Uh?” Kujo finally realized that someone has been calling him for the past 20 seconds. He now turned his attention to Kakyoin as the latter was quite surprised by an uncharacteristic action.

“Did you hear what I asked?” Noriaki sighed, pretty much expecting to retell whatever he was asking Jotaro.

“Not really” Jotaro shrugged. No need to lie here.

“Figures” Kakyoin answered, then continuing “I asked if you want to visit an art museum next week? I know you are probably not interested by there is going to be a good installation and I want to find inspiration. But it’s okay if-“ he felt himself being cut off by the strong voice.

“I want to” Jotaro simply said.

“Oh? That was unexpected” Noriaki sounded surprised at the fast answered, now looking at Jotaro as the latter instead looked forward, definitely not ready to face the man.

“Can’t I enjoy art for once?” Kujo let out a small annoyed growl, challenging Kakyoin.

“Well, you can but you might get bored” Noriaki shrugged. He didn’t know for certain if Jojo was interested in art.

“Not with you” Kujo mumbled, hoping that it won’t reach Kakyoin’s ears. Of course it did.

“Oh? Is that a cheesy line I heard? From the Jotaro Kujo?” Noriaki smiled widely, hearing the small response. He was quickly to catch the side of the small blush covering Jotaro’s cheeks, no matter how hard the man tried to seem disinterested.

“It was probably a wind”

“It is not windy at all”

“Alright, alright” Jotaro gave up, sighing. He gathered his courage, finally taking Kakyoin’s hand into his own yet not meeting Noriaki’s eyes “I just… like spending time with you, no matter where really. As long as you are there…” Kujo half-mumbled, not knowing how to clearly express himself in this situation.

But to Kakyoin, it didn’t matter. The man smiled, squeezing Jotaro’s hand, now moving slightly closer to Kujo so that their shoulders would touch as they walked.

“Jotaro, I feel the same” Noriaki’s smile widened, making Jotaro’s heartbeat sped up at the lovely sight in front of him. He quickly hid behind his hat, returning the light squeeze

~~~

After some time, the approached the house. The two of them stood a little away from the house, hoping to say goodbyes without anyone interrupting.

“Thank you for today” Kakyoin turned to Jotaro, a soft smile present on his face. This almost made Jotaro feel weak in his knees on how gentle and beautiful Kakyoin looked.

“Well, we planned this” he instead answered, hoping not to sound too sappy.

“Still, it was nice”

No answer

“Jotaro?”

He could only nod, finding it hard to talk as his heartbeat was pretty much overshadowing his thoughts and logic.

“Lean down a little, will you?” Kakyoin asked teasingly.

“What for?” for once, Kujo didn’t know what to do or say. His heart was beating way too fast for his liking and he felt his face heating up rather quickly.

He heard Kakyoin let out a small groan. Noriaki took the chain of Kujo’s jacket, bringing the man closer and planting quick soft kiss on Jotaro’s lips.

“Sometimes I wonder how many braincells do you have, Kujo” he chuckled, trying to catch Jotaro’s gaze.

“Whatever” Jotaro turned away, hoping to avoid looking at Kakyoin. This instead made the latter worry.

“Did you not like it, Jojo?” Noriaki suddenly spoke up, worry evident in his voice. Did he misread the atmosphere? Maybe Jotaro didn’t want that? Maybe it wasn’t good?

“I am sorry if I went out of line, I-“

“I did, stop panicking, Noriaki” Jotaro cut him off quickly, placing his hand on Kakyoin’s shoulder in hopes of calming him down.

He liked it way too much

“OH? OH!” Kakyoin’s face suddenly lit up in happiness. Kujo then realized what did he do, feeling his cheeks warm up even more.

“You didn’t hear anything” he tried to say something.

“Oh I did~” Noriaki teased him further, now leaning forward to try and catch Kujo’s eyes.

“Shut up, go home already” Jojo tried to brush him off unsuccessfully.

“I will remember this moment forever~”

Jotaro seemingly finding the last amount of strength, placed his hand on Noriaki’s soft cheek, leaning down again, swiftly shutting up the cherry lower with a quick kiss so that his poor red face won’t suffer any more of Kakyoin’s teasing. It seemed to have worked as Kakyoin was now softly smiling and simply looking at Jotaro without a word.

“Alright” Noriaki half-whispered, hugging the man closer. Kujo eagerly returned the hug, realizing that both of their hearts are beating rapidly. He wasn’t the only one being this nervous. And he wasn’t the only one being excited. After couple of minutes, the two of them broke the hug as Kakyoin now has turned towards his direction and started to walk.

“I will see you later” Noriaki waved a little, a small smile still present on his face.

“Yeah” Kujo mumbled to himself returning the gesture.

Yeah

Next week

He couldn’t wait

[memory-hoarder]

WARNING (LONG POST AHEAD)

I turn off the lights, scrolled my phone and clicked the Spotify app currently listening to (calming acoustic) 10: 05 PM, best time to unleashed all emotions that piled up from nowhere. I covered myself with a huge blanket and placed the laptop on my lap and decided to visit my page. I know, I'm being inactive lately but I'm doing my best to update my journal publicly to remind me of my long absences.

Tonight, I decided to post the questions I received a night before my birthday celebrated. I kept this on my file for a month now. Admittedly, this is the huge decision I made on my birthday. So, I asked a random people on my messenger lists - some are my work colleagues while others are acquaintances. At first, I am hesitant to ask for favor to anyone but I did. Well, I guess it was successful though I received different reactions - some confused and thought I was making fun while others are game on to sent their questions. Obviously, it took days for me to answered cos it turns out that I wasn't prepared myself for few questions that somehow affects me literally.

The twist here is I am not allow to send my answer to their questions. However, I can answer it through this journal. Which I described as bravery.

Here are some of the questions:

How’s Life? How’s Life?

A question that been asked me twice. Well, this year was the great sadness of my life that challenged me mentally, emotionally and drained me physically. Sometimes a mere struggle on financially. I’m doing fine but lots of times I seriously breaking down especially the trauma of what happened 8 months ago. But today, I accepted the fact and slowly healing me and appreciate what really God’s intention and plan for my life.

Are you happy right now?

Not sure how to put it into words but there is no reason not to be happy. Right? If you just appreciate the life you are living right now or even the smallest thing that makes you smile or giggle I guess there is no reason to be sad at all. Although, lots of times I felt happy, sad, angry or lost. But there are still lots of reasons to celebrate or be joyful too. I juts let myself felt all the emotions that life wanted me to experienced to remind me that I indeed exist. There are people who could bring me joy and sadness at the same time but all I know they are all part of my journey.

Have you ever missed me before we lost our communication? Do you consider me as true friend?

Of course, I do. I miss the old you the person who I genuinely treasured during my college days. And, you are one of the reasons why I indeed survived college. I just don’t understand why we both let this friendship died. Was it because we no longer catch up? But, how I hope building friendship again will no longer hard as I imagined. But, please know that you became part of my story. I always count on you whenever I am sad and confused. I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts because I know you will never judge me. Hope to see you again soon. Take care of yourself!

Why there are times you don’t have the mood to talk?

Because, I read my surroundings and I feel comfortable being alone not to isolate but to process my own thoughts with myself which my normal thing growing up and I choose this way - became aloof at times not wanted to talk to anyone or go out. It makes me sad to think only few understand my personality. However, I can't just normalize this because of extrovert people I knew. I don’t have mood to talk and I push away people closed to me because I find a happy place being alone. Its not sad or dark what it gives me is peace of mind that no on can offer.

Would you like to change your past or stay on your present path? Why and why not?

I believed majority will choose the past, we all wanted to change one thing that we regret of doing - apologies, goodbye's, places to travel, opportunities we must have and other important things we slip away that is why I choose the past over my present. One thing I am eager to experience all over again is my mom's precious life, only if I had the power to bring her back. I was just 16 years old when she died, and I think the years of her being a mother to us will never be enough. However, her life is a blessing and all the valuable teachings that she imparted on me and to my siblings will remain on us forever. How I wish for her to at least see as growing up especially my brother that she spoiled a lot, and for us to give back all the things she deserved. I imagined date her on a restaurant, buy her clothes, treat her to the salon or accompany her on the grocery store. I also wanted to visit the past to catch up with my high school friends – Mira and Jeno, I will never forget how they literally brings me deep joy and the reason I am early bird during junior high because of the dare. I just missed the sound of Jeno's sense of humor, I treated her more than a friend rather a sister and it broke me when I received the news that he's gone. I was not there for him nor visit his and mom's grave for years now. I wanted to comfort Mira, but I am too far away and impossible to have my own money for my flight expenses. What I did is to cried and prayed for his soul. All of the good memories flashed back once more yet I realized God might took away two beautiful souls in my life but I am confident they watching over and guiding me through life.

I am or was curious regarding James situation, did it ever cross your mind you regret James being your boyfriend?

In all of the questions I received this one hits me hard to the core. For everyone’s knowledge James and I are in a relationship for over 4 years now. Just like other couples we did fight over little things yet we matured and grow together. One thing I really loved about James Charlie is how kind and pure his heart. He helps people as long as he can even himself are struggling to live. Not to mention his over confidence that I am jealous of. I guess, because of how friendly and inviting his amour. Also, a talented one he knows how to dance, sing and imitate different kinds of sounds, He’s grammar and vocabulary are lit. He can also play guitar very well, draw portrait’s and even writing a poems. He knew, he won my heart through his creative abilities. I was also surprised how he interested over history of aliens, bermuda triangle, mermaids and what I consistently heard of the Pyramid of Giza, life documentaries and other related history of it. I find him sexy whenever he talked about some of it. Our age gap is never an issue on our relationship and I am lucky that he guided me on everything, considered my opinions or thoughts and when I freaked out badly which occasionally happened he handle me perfectly and I appreciated his temperament level during my anxiety attacks or whenever I choose to isolate myself him being shut off. He understood me in my own terms and be myself. Yet relationship will test your loved from one another, there were also things that I don’t like of him doing however James does listened to me. He listens to advises either coming from me or from other people that cared for him. He is a vocal person, that one thing that I fall for him is his sense of humor. I guess talkative and being clingy towards person is his nature especially growing up in a broken family. Consistent communication is a key. I remembered he told me that I was different to all the girls she dated on his past life. That I am out of his league, he doesn’t know that he is of out my league too but when I know him deeply he taught me lessons in life and felt his warm love. Over the course of our relationship he respect the limitless of our love language and he accepted and understood the love without intimacy is a different level of love and respect and from his perspective I wanted everyone to know that James has a huge respect towards me, my beliefs and reasons. How someone could wait for something that he can easily took away something on his past relationship. Our relationship is somehow changed us individually into a better person. Getting older, he became dreamer and goal oriented. I witnessed all his hard work, that he celebrated through silence. He wanted to build home and think of small business that will be our retirement in the future. How many kids we wanted or how many dogs we will going to breed. I guess, some people misunderstood James for so long, how miserable life that no one to talk and curse during your victories or failures? Friends and addiction in alcohol and other stuff are his way of escaped, escape from the reality that lead him to take his own precious life once. I know how difficult life for him way back on his early 20’s that he fought all his battle alone and how he overcome his depression and addiction without someone to lean on. And nowadays, everything makes sense to me that I realize being independent sometimes is not a choice but more on a decision. decision and accepting no one will guide you through your journey so you have to do it alone either it brings you sadness or happiness in a process, not to count living alone and make money all by yourself. I agreed he might do bad decision in life but that doesn’t mean his life has no purpose at all. Instead, God is confident that he will win this battle not for everyone, not for the sake of me or our relationship but for himself. As for our current situation, I know being with him and fight through the end will inspired him a lot. Yes, he currently working on his self and will prove to everyone when the time comes that he will be able to regain his new

life and continue living.

We introverts, tend to think a lot, like really overthink a lot. What do you mostly overthink and how deep? Deep, like does it leads you to think more negatively resulting to depression? (mild depression, maybe).

I overthink some scenarios on my head when it really affects my whole being and when every time I think of it, obviously it trigger my anxiety not depression I guess. I can recall one or two hard situations that happened to me, and I know it wasn’t me trying to act that way. I even punished myself and literally breakdown trying to hurt myself, call me freak or whatever cos now I asked myself too how I even allowed myself to did terrible things, because anxiety creeping on me and telling me to do it. But, mostly I think of is my future and myself – deep that it scared me a lot. I have lot of questions of this world that I keep on searching by myself until now.

Why it took for you to share your problems?

Honestly, when I’m having a serious problem I am not confident to share to anybody except to my family who already knew. It took too long because advises no longer work for me, I listened because it was normal people do – advise and advise. Maybe, it was me who are picky to share my problem with, sometimes people listened but never in heart. Not all people deserve to know your struggle and during your lowest times, I have my own terms of coping so you do.

How do you maintain your petite body? If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Wow! I never see this coming. Well, I guess being fit is what I inherited on my father's side. They not so fat unlike on my mother's side. I have no limit on foods I intake in other words not your discipline person to look up to. I do eat carbs, junk foods and sodas is always on my list. I never worried if I am physically fit aside from walking Maxine during days off. I don't know how do I maintain this body I guess I'm never. Being fit actually is my insecurity. However, I do loved my body whatever what happen.

Well, if I had 3 wishes in life - first, to end this pandemic so that everything will back to normal. second, for James to have peace of mind and good health while waiting for the process of his case. And, lastly, for me to be strong, lasting patience and strong faith.

How would you solve your problems?

Problems is always part of lives. But, I believed it is always about the degree of the problem. Whenever, I had problem sometimes I resolved it in time but other times I need more time and space to think what will be the resort of it. And, pray for some guidance.

As independent being, how do you handle depression and anxiety?

Good thing to end all of this questions, I became independent when I graduated from college. I have to commute 131 kilometers back and forth from another city just to apply on my first job and the process is never easy at all. When you sent all of your applications form on each companies but never accepted It brought so much sadness, one point of my life I am eager to seek job because I used it as my coping mechanism to walked away from home which I did now, I walked away to protect my peace of mind especially having anxiety growing up and having this thing is hard as people imagined. You might only see darkness and feel of losing but for me, I guess for a year now I handled myself perfectly I never allow this condition to swallow me whole and affect my way of living. I reminded myself to keep strong and remain optimist and always protect my peace of mind at all cost.

.

I am 24 now strong and happy and leaving Haruki Murakami quote: "And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what storms all about"

[goksiiiiii]

Fake Blondie changed my life - Zabdiel De Jesús

Note: This is my first imagine ever, and first time I am actually trying to write something like this. I hope it is not too bad. I am sorry for all my mistakes but I hope you understand because ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

The life has never been easy. I mean, how can it been easy for a girl who doubts her worth and hates herself every day more and more? It hasn't always been like that, you were a happy child, full of energy and love for life. Unfortunately, you just didn't have luck, you bumped into wrong people, the ones that broke you. "You are actually so ugly, I mean look at your body, not only that you don't have boobs but neither do you have ass, you are so fucking flat, nobody would even fuck you and let's not talk about possibilty that someone would fall in love with you." were the words you would often hear, just in different ways. Sometimes you would hear it from your "friends", family and exes who left you after they didn't get what they wanted. It is not that you haven't been a strong girl, it has just become too much to handle. You would always wonder how they couldn't understand that you didn't have an opportunity to choose the way you would look like. It doesn't even matter because we all can be loved the way God made us.

You have moved to Miami, you were hoping for a better life. When you thought about better life you didn't mean having hookups and fucking every night different boy, no, the better life for you meant FREEDOM. You were hoping that you will be FREE, that you will be YOURSELF, you were hoping that nobody would judge you and make you feel even more shitty, if that was possible.

You got a job to work as a fashion designer for a latin boy band CNCO. It was your dream to work as a fashion designer because you have been so creative since you were very little. You were from Europe so you didn't have an opportunity to hear about them earlier. You started exploring things about them, not because you were interested in them, but because you wanted to see how they like to dress so that you can do your job well and make everyone happy. Sometimes, it seems like all you ever cared for was to make people around you happy. You have always put yourself last. It never crossed your mind that handsome boys like them would even notice you. Everyone wanted them and nobody ever wanted you, because at the end of the day you were just a flat girl. At least that's what you thought.

"I heard we will have new fashion designer" Zabdiel stated. "Oh dios mio, really?" Erick asked curiously "I really hope that we will finally be dressed up like our bodies deserve." "Carla said she will be here soon, so I will go outside to wait for her so she doesn't get lost" Richard tells the boys while heading towards exit. "It is a girl?" Christopher immediately stops playing Fortnite. "I guess, but you know, you don't need to flirt with every girl in the wolrd" Joel rolls his eyes at Chris. "Ay papa, you need to wake up man, la vida es solo una" Chris tells Joel while having a big smile on his face.

You enter the building but you don't see anyone. You try to stay as calm as you can, not allowing your anxiety to come in and ruin your dreams. As you start walking up the stairs, you bump into someone and fall down. "Oh my God are you okay?" Richard asks you worriedly "I- I- am so sorry, I was looking for our new dresser and I was in a hurry, I didn't want her to get lost." he says while helping you to get up. "In that case, I won't give you the worst clothes, I will save them for other memebers who misbehave" you tell him smiling a little. "Oh- are you-" you cut him saying "Yes. That's me" "God, I am such an idiot nena, sorry." Richard says facepalming "I almost made you break your leg on your first day." You both laugh "No need to worry, I know to be clumsy." "I am Richard and thank you for taking it easy on me and not ruining my fashion model career because of this." "I am Y/N, and don't worry, you still need to earn my trust." you said jokingly while Richard shakes head "Trust me other boys are more problematic than me, let me introduce you to them."

Richard was really nice and kind to you and you were yourself joking a bit with him, but then you remembered that you don't want to get attached to anyone. Who the hell knows what's behind that charimng smile Richard has. You don't want new friends who will hurt you at the end or even worse you don't want a boyfriend. You don't trust anyone anymore so you decided to stay as distant as you could with all the memebers from CNCO. But then you slightly shook your head and thought to yourself "Like anyone would want you anyways." A really loud and excited voice stopped you from overthinking "Oh, mamita welcome, soy Christopher, ma mas sexy of them all" he smiles at you and at that moment you wish you had his confidence.

"I am Y/N, nice to meet you." you simply say with a small smile on your face. Erick and his ugly shirt caught your attention next. "Okay you seriously need help with that." you say looking at Erick from top to the bottom. "Omg that hurts." Erick tells you while pretending to wipe a tear. He had extremly beautiful eyes and you knew it will be hard to stop staring at them. "It will be alright, no llores." you say patting Erick's back. "What's up with others? You ain't going to introduce yourselfs?" a beautiful blondie spoke up while walking towards you. "She knows me already because I almost killed her." Richard defends himself. Zabdiel gives him a confused look but decides to focus on you "Okay so, the boy who tried to kill you is Richard, the least sexy guy in here is Christopher-" "Ay papa, why so mean to me?" Chris squeals while pretending to be crying with Erick. "Oh God with who I am working." you chuckle and shake your head. Zabdiel smiles so softly at you which almost causes you to blush but you don't because you know the smile isn't for you, he is just being kind and polite, your mind tells you. "The boy who needs your help with style is Erick, the quiet one eating french fries is Joel and I am Zabdiel." he finishes introducing. "I am not quiet, I just thought she knew us." this time Joel defends himself. "I am from Europe and unfortunately Latin music is not on the big level there" you state. "Anyways I am really glad I have an opportunity to work with you guys, I know you have a concert in 3 days so we can start looking for stuff that you will wear." "Ay nena, relajate, you have time." Chris says while putting his arm around your shoulder. "You didn't tell us anything about yourself." You try your best to be kind to the boys but you were scared you will end up being hurt again. "Look, I am here to work, not to hang out with you, so please just call me when you are ready to work with me and to make an idiot of me." You exclaimed while walking out of the room. The boys look at each other in shock. "What's up with her?" Christopher asks. "No clue, but that was weird." Erick adds. "Don't be rude. We don't know her story." Zabdiel tells them. It seems like Zabdiel was the only one to notice, you are still healing your wounds.

You came to your apartment and just locked the door and threw yourself on the bed overthinking how you reacted to the boys. You knew you were so rude and that they didn't deserve it at all but you couldn't help it. You wanted to protect yourself and you thought it was a good way. But was it really? Even thought it was pretty early to sleep, it was 8pm, you just wanted to fall asleep and forget about everything. Suddenly, as your eyes start to close, you hear a bell ringing. You aren't getting up, hoping that whoever the hell it is will be gone. "Come on Y/N, we know you are in." you hear Chris' voice. "Open up please" Joel begs. You get up to open the door surprised with the fact that they found out where you live. "What the hell are you guys doing? I am trying to sleep." you say. "Sleep? At 8pm on Saturday night? Erick asks seriously. "Yea?" you state simply. "Can we come in and talk? Please." Zabdiel looks into your eyes. You quickly look away and walk away leaving the door open. The boys take that as a yes and slowly walk in.

"I have brought lots of snacks and drinks!" Richard says pointing at paper bags "We are going to make you a welcome party." You just got back into your bed and covered yourself with a blanket. "Yea, you guys have fun, just please don't break anything I literally moved in this morning." you tell them closing your eyes. "I knew that this was bad idea, we should give her time." Joel whispers to Zabdiel. "Yes, we shouldn't force her to open up, if she is not comfortable with us Zab." Erick agrees with Joel. "What, is it blame Zabdiel day or what? We haven't even tried to make her feel comfortable with us! How can she feel comfortable when there is Christopher who just comes in front of her and says "Yo I am the sexiest." I mean stop complaining and try your best to help her feel okay. She is going to be with us now every day." Zabdiel exclaimed. "Did you fall for her in like 2 hours or what?" Chris asks him with a smirk on his face. "Can you be serious at least for 1 minute? It is not always about flirting and fucking. You sometimes need to help people." Zabdiel tells him while shaking his head. "She was really happy when I bumped into her, she was so chill and I loved her humor, idk what happened later." Rich says while taking a sip of his favourite drink. Chris comes closer to you grabbing whipped cream while whispering to you slowly. "If you don't want to come to our party.... party will come to you." Chris says while spraying whipped cream all over your face and running away from you. "Christopher Damn Velez!" you shouted at him while jumping out of the bed to get your revenge but then Erick grabs you by your waist and stops you. "Run bro, run bro! I got you" Erick yells. "Erick, let me go rn or you will have an ugly style forever!" you tell him. "Y/N don't do that to me..." Erick says making a puppy face. "I am warning you!!!" you say acting seriously. Erick looks carefully at Zab coming slowly behind him and let you in his arms. "You have nothing to blackmail me with." Zab wishpers in your ear while wrapping his arms around your waist. Your body shivers at his touch and you get gooseboomps from his breath on your neck. You don't know why, but it just happens. Seems like your body was giving you signs and trying to tell you "He is the one." "Zabdiel..." you managed to say something. "You either let us introduce ourselves in real light and have good time with us or..." "Or what?" you ask "This." not even finishing the sentence he started tickling you. "N-no, n-no Zabdiel!" you exclaimed while laughing. "Stop, stop please!" you begged while tears were rolling down your face from laughing. But he didn't plan to stop, he was just tickling you even more intensively. "Then promise..." Zabdiel orders. "O-okay, te lo prometo!" you say breathing heavily. "Omg, you are such an idiot!" you tell him while throwing a pillow at him. Zabdiel didn't care about you wanting to kill him at the moment, he just knew his heart was happy because he made you smile. And if his heart and emotions could talk at that moment. They would say it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.

"So it is sleepover then?" Joel asks. "It is." you roll your eyes playfully. "I even got stuffed animals!" Richard tells you and burst into laughter. "Omg you guys are so sweet." "OH DIOS, chicos this is our first compliment!" Chris claps his hands in excitement and everyone else make sarcastic shocked faces which causes you to laugh even more. They all light up candles and ties up balloons trying to make this interesting as much as they could. But also, they were making sure that you are comfortable and fine with everything they were doing. Zabdiel makes comfy place for you to sit next to him. "Come here." he tells you while patting the seat next to him. "No, I am still mad at you." you say trying not to laugh. "Ik how to make this even." Erick says while spraying whipped cream all ove Zabdiel's hair. "NOT THE HAIR!" Zabdiel screams. Christopher started laughing so much which made you burst into tears of laughter because his laugh was the most contagious laugh in the world. They all kept making mess throwing food at each other. "You all are going to clean this I swear." you say looking at the mess they made. "We are going to sing to you now. We will make you forget about all bad things we have done!" Joel says while smiling softly. "Oh hell no, I bet you all suck..." you say teasing them. Zabdiel raises his eyebrows at you, and you felt like your heart was just going to melt. And you were right. Erick starts slowly playing "Tu Luz" on guitar he brought here.

"Dime tú, cómo hago para captar tu atención

Sé muy bien, que en el pasado

Te han roto el corazón"

Zabdiel sings to you while tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. He sang with so much passion, and that, together with the meaning of the lyrcis, made you get so emotional.

"Abrázame fuerte y no tengas miedo amor

Déjame explicarte..." Chris starts singing to you and his harmonies were already bringing the death to you.

"Quiero ser el que llena de felicidad

Cada espacio de soledad

Déjame ser tu luz"

they all sing together and you couldn't help it with all the emotions and their beautiful voices. "I- I- am sorry, I will be right back." you say with a low voice while crying your eyes out you run to the bathroom.

Everyone look at each other worriedly. "Zab go with her." Joel tells him. "Go see if she is okay." Richard adds. You sit down on the cold bathroom tiles leaning in the wall. You remember all the things people did to hurt you and the way Zabdiel sang to you "I know very well that in the past they have broken your heart." made you think avout all the times people came into your life to waste a couple of months and then leave you when they didn't get what they wanted. "Y/N.. please open the door." Zabdiel says while knocking on your bathroom door. You couldn't even hear him because you were overwhelmed with so many emotions at that moment and you felt like panick attack would get you soon. You try to calm down yourself but you just keep shaking and sobbing even more not realizing how loud you were getting. Once Zabdiel hears you his heart starts beating so fast "Y/N I don't care I am coming in." he tells you while opening the door. He sees you sitting down trying to calm your breathing down. Zabdiel doesn't say anything he just knees down to you and pulls you into his chest hugging you tightly. "Y/N, I am here, you are okay." Once he wrapps his arms around you body your heart starts slowly to get back in normal rhythm. He genlty grabs your face in his hand making you look at him. "Nena, it is okay, I am here, you are safe, no one is going to hurt you." he tells you looking deep into your eyes. You just nod slowly at him and hugs him tightly. You didn't know why you did that, but the only thing you knew at that moment was that you felt so safe in his arms.

After a few minutes of silence but comfortable one, you spoke up. "I am so sorry for causing such a scene in front of you and the boys." you say playing with your fingers. "I have never wanted to be rude just-" "Just you are scared to let us in your life for some reason?" Zabdiel cuts you off "You don't have to apologize for anything nena. I know how ew people can be, and how they can turn your mind against you." he tells you. "Just.. you have no idea how much I hate myself and everything about me.. I- I- don't even know why you guys want to hang out with a girl like me." you tell him while wipping your tears away." Zabdiel puts his hand on yours making sure you are okay with it. "There is absoultely nothing in you or on you that you should hate." Zab says simply. "If me and guys hadn't felt and seen that you were such a nice girl and such a great person we wouldn't even bother coming here." "I know you have every right to think I can be just some another lie, but this is me looking you right in the eyes now and promising you that we are here to protect you. I am here for anything you need. If you want to rant, go on I will listen, If you want advice I will try my best to give you great one. I am here for anything you need. Just give us a chance and we will prove to you that you can count on us." Zabdiel tells you not taking his eyes off of you. You smile at him and deep inside your heart feels that he is honest but your mind tells you to be careful. "Muchas gracias Zab, I will try my best but I hope you understand I will need time." you tell him not noticing your thumb was slighty stroking his hand. "Vale niña, we will be waiting for you. You will work with us every day, you need to get close to us sooner or later." he smiles and purposely bumps his shoulder with yours. "Now go shower, relajate and go to sleep. You need rest." You nod at him while he leaves the bathroom. Zabdiel tells his bandmates what happened and they all gave a promise that will do their best to make you feel good with them. "Can't sleep Zab?" Chris slowly whispers. "Nah." Zab replies. "You thinking about Y/N?" Chris asks. "All I know Chris is that I want to make her be able to smile without being afraid to." Zab tells Chris. "And I am sure, you will bro." Chris tells him being so confident about his words. In the morning, boys got up early to clean the mess they had made. You woke up hearing Chris' laughing about God knows what. "Ohhh, buenos dias sleeping beauty." Richard tells you. "What are guys doing?" you ask. "Nada we took a day off to help you clean." Joel answers you. "Omg, why would you that? I could do it, I was just joking last night." you tell them. "Shhh!" Erick tells you "Less talk, more work!" Erick says grabbing a brush and paint in his hands. "Are you guys like going to paint my apartment?" you ask worriedly. "Yup this place is really ugly and you need to start fresh here soo..." Erick tells you while throwing a brush at you. "Vamos a trabajo!" You just look at them in disbelief and shake your head.

"Let's start from the top." Zab says. "You know not everyone has your height." you tell him playfully rolling your eyes. Zab bends down and picks you up so you can sit on your shoulder. "What about now?" he asks. "Omg you are such an idiot." you smile. Zabdiel was happy because he was making you smile. He really liked having you close to him. "Zabdiel, bro, you have been painting the same sport for 2 minutes now, are you okay?" Chris asks while moving hand in front of his eyes. "Um- yea yea, I am fine, I was just thinking about something." Zab defends himself. You decided to distract him from his thoughts so you put a bit of blue paint on his nose. "Ohhh.... my bad, lo siento." you tell Zabdiel. "Excuse me? What was that for?" he asks while having a big smile on his face. "Nothing, it was an accident." you say trying to stop yourself from laughing. "Oh?" Zab says while putting a paint on your thigh. "This was also an accident." he casually tells you. "Zabdiel! Don't do that" you scream at the feeling of cold paint. "Do what?" he acts innocently. You use your brush and this time paint his hair. "Here, it is better, I didn't like blonde anyways." you say. "Oh my God, oh my God, you are so bad." he says while bringing you down and pushing you to the wall. Zabdiel starts moving his hair on your face. "Zabdiel! Detener!" you yell at him while laughing so much. "Oh, I love this new look of you." he says while smirking at you. "I swear you will stay bald." you try to seriously tell him. "Nah, my stylist won't let it happen to me." he says looking deep into your eyes. "Oh really? We will see." you tell him. Zabdiel's heart was beating fast and his breathing was getting heavier. He wished nothing more than to press his lips against your. He was trying to refrain especially because of the deep talk you two had last night. "I swear I dropped my ring in here-" Richard enters the room looking for the ring he lost. Chris notices you two being close to each other pressed against the wall. "We are sorry!" Chris tells you two while grabbing Richard's hand and dragging him out of the room. "Um, let's get cleaned." Zab says trying to ease the tension. "Vale." you tell him kinda thankful for Richard and Chris entering the room because you felt like if Zabdiel wasn't going to kiss you, you would do it instead. After you and boys finished painting they decided to go out with you to show you Miami a bit. "I swear Erick just kept eating the whole day, he hadn't painted anything." Joel complained. "OMG bro stop lying." Erick tells him. "This man is a liaaaar, this man is a liaa a a a r" Richard starts singing. "Madre mia, are you guys this childish every day?" you ask curiously. "What is it supposed to mean?" Chris asks while crossing arms like a kid. "Nada." you say giving up. "Nah, I swear we are normal." Zabdiel says. "Pff, yes especially you." you tell him while looking at the sunset on the beach. Other boys went to grab something to eat while Zabdiel told them he is not hungry and that he will stay with you. As you were enjoying the feeling of walking barefoot on the wet sand you see your ex friend. Well, more like ex friend with benefits. "Y/N?" Marco says. "Is that you?" he says coming close to you. "Um- yeah hi." you tell him smiling awkwardly. Marco was your friend in highschool. You guys would always have such a great time together. He was so sweet to you and whenever someone bothered you he would try to make you forget about it giving you the best pleasure ever. He was simply good in the bed. That lasted until everyone discovered you two were fucking. After they found out, people started teasing him how he couldn't find a better bitch to fuck and then he threw you away like a garbage. "Omg I haven't seen you for ages!" he says. "Who is this?" he asks pointing at Zabdiel. "He is a friend." you tell him. "With benefits? New one? Is he better than me?" Marco kept asking dumb questions which embarassed you so much. You didn't want Zabdiel to think you were just another girl wanting to fuck every second boy.

You were a teenager and at that time, that was the only way for you to escape the reality. "No Marco!" you yell. "That's in the past, I am not a kid anymore and I am not wasting my time on it. I am actually trying to find someone who is worth to love and not just to fuck. I am trying to have a normal life. Maybe you should do it too." you tell him while grabbing Zabdiel's hand and walking away from him. "Yeah good luck with that, hole is hole for every boy no matter how ugly you are." Marco shouts. Zabdiel was going to run after your ex friend but you stopped him. "I am so sorry about that." you tell Zab completely embarassed. "It is fine." he says. "But what's not fine is the way he was talking to you. It is so disgusting. I am literally disgusted with all males." Zabdiel tells you. "Dw about it, I am really used to it." you sigh. "No, damn it, you are the most chill and beautiful girl I have ever seen. And I don't even care what you say but I don't know what is better about you, how hot and beautiful you look or your incredible personality." he tells you speaking so quickly. Zabdiel couldn't handle this all and before you got a chance to answer him he asks "Is he your type?" You look at him confused but answering anyways. "No, honestly I don't know even who is my type. They all end up hurting and breaking me at the end." you say looking at the sea. "I don't want you to think I am girl like that, you know, just looking for someone to have sex with for one night-" "No, Y/N I know you are not." Zabdiel simply says. "I know you are much more than that." "Thank you Zab." you tell him smiling a little. "So let's say, a Puerto rican, 22 years old, fake blondie wanted to be your type, what would you say?" he asks you looking at your hands on your lap. This time, both your mind and heart were telling you that he was the one. The right one. "I love fake blondies." you tell him biting your lip trying not to smile so much. Zabdiel quickly moves his head up to look at you smiling so much. "So this fake blondie wants to ask you if you could give us a try?" he says. You nod at him putting a hand on his cheek slowly stroking it with your thumb. Zabdiel puts his forehead on yours and slowly moves his lips to yours, kissing you softly and passionately. "I will make you happy nena, I promise you." he tells you pulling away and bringing your hand next to his heart. "You have already done it, you have changed my life for such a little time." you tell him smiling for the first time without being afraid that you will end up being hurt. "LENGUA KISS! WE WANT LENGUA KISS!" boys shout while running to hug you both. The moment Zabdiel hears their voices, he knows whats is comping up, so he quickly grabs your hand and make you two run into the water of calm ocean.

He changed your life. He made you feel like a queen. His queen.

Sometimes you need to go through a lot of pain and experience awful things to be happy. "You will be happy" said life "but first I will make you strong."

Thank you for reading!:)

Please message me and tell me what do you think about my first work ever. Ly xx