#so what about doing something to the protag?
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keferon · 21 hours ago
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Foaming at the mouth here about to go insane PLEASE elaborate I will give you my firstborn if I need to
Go off fam
YEAH SO Basically imagine if all Blurrs are the same Blurr right. As an isekai protagonist he has this set of rules he has to follow every time he gets in a new universe. His job every time is to (more or less)
1 Make a cool appearance
2 Show the local “cool protagonist” that he isn’t that cool
3 You can’t have someone be cooler than protagonist so you has to die horribly now sorry~
4 Get sent to the next universe
And that shit goes for ETERNITY. He consistently forgets and fucks up peoples names because he can’t bother to remember them anymore. He slowly becomes snarky and sometimes rude for no reason because being tortured repeatedly is fucking depressing at the very least. His job is being a professional filler episode star. Appear - impress - disappear by dying in agony. Again and again and again and again
That is until he gets in the Shattered glass universe. Because for once he has to play a villain while the local “good hero protagonist” is Starscream?? Of all people?? Really?
Blurr does the usual stuff. Showing off his speed and moves. Making lots of comments. And then eventually dying by being smelted alive in lava which is…holy shit that is painful. But then instead of just leaving him (as protags usually do) Starscream stays for a while and says something. I’m not sure what would he exactly say but it would sound very out of place. Like. Some kind of information that “this” version of Starscream just has NO WAY of knowing. And Blurr hears it and it clicks. He isn’t the only one
……..also I just think they’re funny when together
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pokemonfrommemory · 2 months ago
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Hey there girl—I mean parasitic jellyfish
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justladders · 2 months ago
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This is your protagonist, everyone. This is the man sap that we’re supposed to cheer for.
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cosmocove · 3 months ago
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time to make your choice only you can be the one
#undescribed#bonk.png#ggg#great god grove#great god grove spoilers#ggg spoilers#<- bc of king n hand gesturing stuff for the au this one gets the spoiler tag#caption is a line from legend of everfree from eg movie of the same name bc its now linked to ggg for me bc of brainrot#first au stuff i dont like have anything really planned out n also dont really plan on doing anything with this beyond doodles#settled on inspekta being a horse bc i want him capochin patty n king to all be earth ponies bc of like permanent having it ingrained from#being an mlp fan as a kid that earth ponies are seen as less special bc they cant use magic or fly n that fits for story similarities#bc inspekta n capochin hating on patty for projection reasons AND inspekta's replacement anxiety n envy of king who in the au#is the only other earth pony lined up to become an alicorn (bc again being specifically an fim fan since i was a kid ingrained in with fanon#that ponies that become alicorns are almost exclusively pegasus or unicorn bc of earth ponies not having as clear of a connection to magic)#in my mind patty is the main character like the bizzyboys are also main characters but its like how the mane six are the main six but#twilight is the MAIN main character its like that n then godpoke is her sidekick (like spike ig but like mysterious stranger style <- idk#what i mean by this) she gets to be the protag bc the type of character godpoke is in the game n how im fitting them to be in the au doesnt#really work for a protag role while patty can be more readily slotted into mlp protag shes the only bizzyboy who cares about solving in the#game (as shown in hobbyhoo) n i like her so she gets to be the protag v-v inspekta is still doing the whole like shit from the game just in#a different way bc of mlp related restrictions n tone differences. the episode where luna goes to nightmare night after being freshly reform#ed walked so milldread section could run however cobigail's deal does run closer to that episode that to the game counterpart but like witho#ut cob having been banished for a thousand years theres no rift in the au bc its. mlp so sort of vague direction is related to the tree of#harmony n like maybe thats how inspekta powers up for the two parter transformation. a thought i had for a workaround for how inspekta keeps#king isolated was maybe turning king to stone n hiding her in plain sight but while that would slide in mlp (they turn a child to stone in t#he series finale apparently??) it leaves a bad taste in my mouth from the ggg angle so probably gonna do something else#art comments both inspekta n cobigail's pony names are taken from ponies i already had inspekta's comes from a different mlpied thing#n cobigail's comes from a fankid (spelled like kandi corn tho bc fankid's a rave girlie) the rest of the gods get to keep their names aside#from maybe bauhauzzo (whos role is undecided) huzzle n click clack arent ponies bc i felt it suited them more huzzle gets to be discordesc#bc i think its fun if like this versions god of chaos wasnt evil BUT that angle is used as slander against huzzle by inspekta#n click clack's a breezy bc small n bratty (we will be ignoring that breezies are mortal if i remember right bc thats not relevant)
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joshuamj · 9 months ago
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been scribbling out some little comics for my EoW!Zelda Impersonates Link AU!
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daylighteclipsed · 8 months ago
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ive been replaying kh1 (going thru the whole series on steam since i never got the chance to play all the games) and i was struck by something a bit odd. i have been dyinggg to talk about it
it's about kairi and her past.
i don't think she's a replica or construct necessarily
but in kh2 there's a parallel drawn between her and sally in halloween town; and the same i think could be true in kh1.
sally is a Frankenstein monster/doll made by the doctor. the entire plot of Halloween town centers around the need for the dr to make a "heart" which requires memories from Sally (the scene of her picking the forget me nots looks a lot like kairi holding a flower for aqua too)
sora takes interest in the project to restore a heart to the heartless too because of his desire to restore Kairi's heart.
i havent really come up with a coherent thought about what this means.
but given that we know kairi was experimented on in a way that involved her heart, it just seems suspicious that this parallel was made twice to her and a doll that was stitched together and animated by a mad scientist.
shes also compared to chirithy in kh3, which from my understanding were created by MoM for keyblade weilders; and to Pooh, who is a toy/story book character that came to life
given too that Kairi already has a weird thing going on with her heart, it just seems possible that theres something..more to it that i have yet to piece together. and its driving me crazy
NO, WAIT… ANON YOU’RE COOKING. Idk what it all means either, but those parallels are so good and so true. Cause there definitely is something artificial about Kairi’s heart, even if just partially. It was experimented on, like you said, and it looks completely different than the organic hearts we see, and I suspect that’s why we’ve never seen Kairi’s heart station. Because it’s (at least partially) artificial. It would look totally different than all the other heart stations and would probably give away what’s going on.
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aroaceleovaldez · 2 years ago
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I think one of the problems with the HoO characterizations is Rick kind of forgot to give half the cast hobbies and general interests, and maybe like people they know outside of their families and outside of camp, or if he did remember to it rarely gets brought up for most of them, or in the special case of Annabeth - she randomly develops a hobby in weaving for exactly one scene and then never again. Apparently she just knew how to do that, even though it is a skill she has literally never used before nor uses again.
The best examples I can give of this are comparing/contrasting the examples of when we do actually get this with the lack-thereof: Hazel and Frank are good examples. Hazel has hobbies and interests generally unrelated to all her demigod stuff (horses and art) and we see this repeatedly discussed and brought up. She also knows and interacts with people outside of the necessities of her quest/Camp Jupiter or her family - Sammy was her best friend at school and they hung out and stuff! Meanwhile, Frank, as far as we know, doesn’t know anybody outside of his family even though he presumably went to school before Camp Jupiter? His hobby is... archery? That’s the only thing he ever really shows interest in but at the same time it only rarely gets brought up except for him using a bow as his main weapon and the like two instances of noting that Frank had hoped he was an Apollo kid for a little bit. The closest other detail we get to Frank having any other kind of hobby/interest is him mentioning off-hand that he used to play Mythomagic.
Piper and Leo - We can presume that Piper knew Shel before moving to Oklahoma, because Piper used to visit her grandpa often and as far as we know that’s also where Shel lives. But we never see Piper ever mention knowing anyone else in her grandfather’s community. Heck, when she’s introduced we’re basically outright told that she doesn’t interact much at all with any of her classmates outside of necessity, and we don’t even have any confirmation that before Hera’s mind-meddling that she even acknowledged Leo’s existence. Also, Piper has like, exactly zero hobbies. We do not know what Piper does in her free time or what she likes (except vaguely that she has surfed before), only really what she dislikes. Leo at least does have some kind of excuse for not really knowing anybody, and an explicit explanation about why that is the case and how he feels about it. Leo also has a repeatedly referenced interest/hobby in mechanics that’s very core to his character.
Percy and Annabeth? Pre-HoO, they both have plenty of interests and know people outside their general circles! Percy knows kids at school. Annabeth’s general outer social circle is Camp Half-Blood, because she grew up there, but she clearly knows people at camp. She’s also super into architecture! And Percy does a ton of stuff in his free time - he skateboards! He plays basketball! He has two pets he takes care of (Blackjack and Mrs. O’Leary)! Post-HoO he’s on a swim team! But during HoO? Percy’s hobbies just kind of disappear, besides “oh yeah he uh. Does water stuff.” There’s no acknowledgement of like, “Yeah Percy sets up a little basketball hoop on the back of his door on the Argo 2 and shoots trash at it.” Literally anything! And yeah, Annabeth’s architecture interest is somewhat acknowledged, but also like, not really? We at least get some kind of “Yeah, in her spare time she’s usually on her laptop working on stuff” but we also barely get any instances of Annabeth thinking about her friends at camp except for like, Tartarus.
For Jason it at least kind of works because a.) he has amnesia and it’s implied he doesn’t really have close friends at Camp Jupiter besides Reyna, so it figures he only ever really references random other legionaries like, twice. and b.) there is also the heavily implication that Jason doesn’t have hobbies, because his entire life was so focused around his training at Camp Jupiter. This works less with Reyna, but she also kind of has an excuse for not knowing people besides like, her sister and Jason, given she ran away when she was young, Circe’s island was destroyed, and she could have only been at Camp Jupiter for like 3 years maximum at that point. And she’s not exactly the most social character. We also don’t get much indication of her hobbies, besides she also likes horses and it’s heavily implied she likes nature/gardens? Presumably, given we get like, one note of that in HoO, maybe two if you count her living on Circe’s island, and then like one more nod to that in TOA. And we only get her POV chapters in BoO anyways so again, she has some excuses. Coach Hedge also is incredibly bland besides maybe him having a hobby in sports, and... violence? Which definitely does not count. And him lacking any POV chapters doesn’t really help.
I think this is why Nico continually feels like such a strong character, simply because we know what he does in his spare time. We know he knows people outside of the camps (most of those people are gods or ghosts, but he at least knows people) and technically you could argue him knowing about Camp Jupiter between BoTL and TLO counts too. He even references his old neighbor at one point. Obviously, he’s very into Mythomagic, and that comes up a lot because it’s his special interest and is usually also relevant to their quests. He travels a lot, and apparently used to when he was younger as well. We also learn he used to have a special interest about pirates and that apparently may have played into his crush on Percy. Like, all that is so simple and minor but it makes such a difference for how Nico feels as a character. Most of Nico’s stuff though is established in the first series, which definitely helps because the first series was pretty good about giving characters hobbies and maybe some people they know - Annabeth, Percy, and Nico we’ve already covered, but also like, Grover knows other satyrs and is usually practicing music and also we know what foods he likes. Thalia is very into punk culture and music. We know she particularly likes Green Day. We know she knew the Hunters of Artemis before the events of TTC. Rachel's whole thing is that she’s super into art and she has a bunch of connections through her rich family, and she’s basically Percy’s only mortal friend. They have lives!
If you put a protagonist in a room and told them to occupy themselves, you should have an answer for what they do. They should be able to name one person outside their immediate social circle who they are generally friendly with or vaguely know, unless they have a specific reason for that to not be the case. HoO crew needs to occupy their time by themselves, no weaponry, for twenty minutes? Hazel could be drawing, Nico could be organizing his cards, Leo could be tinkering, Annabeth could be working on her laptop, Percy could be trying out little skateboard tricks. Jason, Piper, Frank, and Reyna? What would they be doing?
TOA does actually answer that question for Jason, at least, because we learn that Jason makes tiny dioramas! That’s adorable! Why doesn’t he do that in HoO?! TOA also gives us more depth to Will Solace besides “He’s a medic and does medic things” with telling us that he’s into Star Wars. Like, that’s actually so much information to work with! Thank you! And then we also find out in TOA that Nico’s also kinda into art! We still don’t get anything new for Piper, Frank, or Reyna - besides again one more potential implication that Reyna thinks plants are Pretty Okay, and that nature is Mildly Alright. Like, not even “maybe she keeps a houseplant” territory, all we have is “if she had the option, she might be interested in visiting a flower garden.” But honestly TOA at least gives us something for most of the characters we see. Like at least one thing. Most of the rest of the writing is a mess but at least the characters are mildly interesting.
Anyways, give your characters hobbies, it’s good for them.
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puhpandas · 5 months ago
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as someone who isnt super excited for sotm for certain reasons I am really glad that like. it's clear that since ruin theyve been setting up for carnival and sotm IS carnival. so now that carnival is finally coming out, afterwards theyll be moving on to other plotlines since the main villain stuff is sorted out
I'm just rlly happy to finally see a clear direction for how the story is gonna be playing out with like "okay these games were leading up to this so after this will be open possibilites" instead of like. absolutely no info about each upcoming game and being left guessing before it releases and just having to wait and see what's in it and if anything you're looking forward to will be in it
it feels like they have a plan and a solid direction for what they're trying to do and after carnival releases thatll be all that buildup coming to fruition. & we already know from the Scott interview that theres another release 'beyond sotm' that's 'super exciting' so maybe thatll be focusing on another big currently untouched (which is basically all of them) plotline, or even the big campaign game that dawko has been calling security breach 2
#even if i dislike how theyve been handling this whole mimic cassies dad factory mapbot bonnie bully stuff#the past like 2 releases 3 after sotm#after watching johns theory video it really does feel like stuff was more purposeful with thought put into it when u plug in cassies dad#even if the plot of him being behind mxes and trapping mimic is pushing other more important characters aside#its probably what happened and accepting that makes the story at least seem more thought out#it did make me feel better about it bc like. it at least feels like theyre cooking#like what theyre working on DOES have a direction and a plan and it isnt just random stuff like how it felt when hw2 came out#i might still think that the stuff theyve been doing the past few releases is boring af and uninteresting#compared to earlier concepts like focusing on vanny and the possession aspects and sentient glamrocks#(we could see more of it with freddy if theyd let him come back ever)#but like. at least it has thought put into it and feels like theyre actually trying to set shit up for something#like sotm is an ORIGIN#the tagline was 'sometimes you have to understand the past to see the future'#at the end of the day sotm is a setup for a campaign thatll take place in present day anf#even if its taking ten thousand years to get there im excited for it#aka its taken a long time to tell this story setup of cassies dad and mimic and shit and it might be boring for some people#(me)#but at the end of the day its meant to be setup explaining the past of why mimic exists (even if that's already in tbe books)#so after we 'understand' it we can get back to present day#and focus on its current victims vanessa gregory cassie etc#cassies dad is 100% dead if hw2s protag is him so he woukdnt be relevant anymore. just another character thing to serve cassie#im just saying like after sotm its wide open for getting back to the plot#and i think its actually right to say that bc like all of this has been setup. if hw2 protag is cassies dad its a prequel to ruin#so rn ruin is the most recent game in the timeline. meaning the next game that takes place in current tjme will focus on the current mains#Gregory cassie vanessa#sorry for fnaf plot posting again ive been thinking about it a lot the past few days#thought id balance some negative ive posted with a positive since im feeling better about it myself :)#one day we're gonna be so back and its gonna be great#its just gonna be a long annoying wait lmao#thoughts
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pikkish · 6 months ago
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idk if this is a good prompt but put doomguy in myhouse.wad I think he would find it enriching
Right, so I've been mulling on this one for a little bit now, n I'm not opposed to writing something for you, I'm just not... entirely sure what to write? Because the thing is, myhouse.wad doesn't actually really have anything to do with Doom as a story. Sure, Doom is important in that it's the vessel through which the story is told and one of the connections between the narrator and his dead companion. But as far as Doom itself goes, and the story about a man who was too angry/stupid to die, fighting demons and saving earth, none of that is at all relevant to myhouse.wad and its story. For all intents and purposes, Doomguy isn't actually a character in myhouse.wad. So I'm not really sure how exactly to fit him in there.
#pikspeak#bc like. ok so if u say write dg as if he is actually the character in myhouse.wad#then the problem is that theres a pretty huge meta element to myhouse.wad and having some of the outside context- even just the context tha#its supposed to be the creator's dead friend's childhood home- is important. youre not MEANT to 'immerse' yourself in it or pretend you are#the protag. part of the impact comes from knowing youre just an observer and this is just a videogame on your computer.#writing dg as a character inside myhouse.wad would rob it of a lot of context and therefore impactfulness. hed just be walking around an#old house looking at things that have no meaning to him.#so ok then not dg as the protag of myhouse.wad but what about just like.. him in the funky liminal space of myhouse.wad? the non-euclidean#reality breaking shifting house of leaves place of myhouse.wad? i *could* do something like that if thats what youre looking for#but then considering this is the character whose reaction to finding himself in literal hell was to go 'hey??? this is stupid???? anyway im#gonna kill everything here' he probably wouldnt be too exceptionally ruffled by finding himself in a sorta funky reality breaking space.#hed probably still just go 'oh weird. funky. anyway back to killing demons.' and that would be it. which yeah i CAN write if its what u wan#it just. yknow. doesnt quite seem like the right tone? just kinda flat by comparison#i have considered doing things in the right tone before. since it is also canon that on his way back to hell dg has to run through the#burned out ruins of his own hometown. something similar to the visiting an old place thats been twisted by time and grief and coming to#terms with its loss or something to that effect#but. if im being honest i dont know that i have the writing skill to pull that off well much less as a short fic for a prompt response#uhhh anyway where was i going with this.#im happy to write something for you; possibly even something myhouse.wad related if you want!! im just not sure how to do that hdfbhdj...#anyway sorry for letting this one sit for so long without an answer. have another fic prompt where the fic is getting a little longer than#anticipated n combining that with rotating this to try n figure out what i could write for it...#guess time got away from me a little bit. sorry about that!
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doedipus · 11 months ago
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a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.
it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.
#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it#and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months#I forget if I posted about that#and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff#the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture#the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked#nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too#probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that#and how I want the thing to be divided up#since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu#and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign#some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii#but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other#and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story#besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc#a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal#and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something#and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with#I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research#which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue#but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check#although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line#with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself#I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively#this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.
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doodlesdreaming · 10 months ago
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I've been having more dreams about SMTV lately. And they've been very vivid. Like to the point where I remember it when I wake up.
The latest one was a montage of hugs between the Protag and Aogami. Starting off with the "I trust you" hugs that show a growing relationship, to the "Please don't go/die on me hugs" equipped with gut wrenching tears, and ended at the "Victory/You will always be in my heart" hugs which felt so warm and loving that I wanted a hug the second I woke up. 😅😄
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pummelingbat · 6 months ago
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bold of me to listen to the big jmart confession episode & just brush that aside for my .02 crumbs of shitty rarepair lmfao
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jabberwockymoreau · 1 year ago
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Been thinking about the The First Shadow spoilers for days and like I obvi wanna watch it myself to get the full picture (the moment a slime tutorial drops I want to be notified please) but it's very funny how it turned me, a major Will-has-powers sceptic, into a huge Will-has-powers truther like...I don't want Will to have powers to solve the plot but if that could cause more problems? That would be delicious actually, maybe. Like I need the full picture but we can cook with that, I think
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grimtoucher · 1 year ago
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who is your favorite one piece character. *staring intently no pressure no pressure no pres (⁠´⁠灬⊙⁠ω⁠⊙⁠灬⁠`)⁠♡
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Idk some fucking guy that showed up on screen for a bit he was kinda cool
#luffy is a character that i feel everybody including the viewer is meant to kind of underestimate at first#to chalk him up to a naive fucking idiot that's gonna get himself killed by something more powerful because he overestimated himself#you keep waiting until he bites off more than he can chew#yknow you wait until he finally meets that match that makes him hesitate and think ''i'm not strong enough‚ i need to improve''#like so many shonen do nowadays where the main character gets humbled by someone more powerful than the level they're at#but with luffy that just.... doesnt happen#no matter how fucking awful and horrifying the series gets sometimes and how high the stakes rise with more genocidal villains#luffy acts as the humanized force of unshakable freedom that cant be silenced for good#luffy is a protagonist but he is also an all-encompassing metaphor that seeps from every pore of the series#and i feel extremely strongly about what he represents and the way he can change YOU and make u feel the hope u thought u lost#he is a character but he is most importantly a vessel for a story that‚ at heart‚ wants you to laugh and dream and love unabashedly#he is not a mascot lil shonen protag created for the sake of telling the viewer ''killing bad! friendship important!''#that motherfucker is built to inspire you to be shamelessly happy to fucking live and laugh and dream big idiot dreams#its hard to describe what he fucking Does to your brain to people used to consuming trash anime with basic niceguy protags#but luffy isnt just a protag. he is a feeling that you learn to adopt. but the depth of that cant be described until you feel it#its a shame people get so scared of the episode count because theyll never experience one of the most soul-changing series ever made#luffy is just one guy in a series full of characters so nuanced and fleshed out they could have their own damn shows
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puhpandas · 6 months ago
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thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn
#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking#this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again#plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story#and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around#i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented#as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around#that would suck majorly#a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book#like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past#plus everything the tapes said he did#it could be so good#i really want to just see like. any progression of the story#outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones#theres not much you can think about#insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing#nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag#i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient#but man#i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented#everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm#when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just#fans on twitter diehard or casual#that hated how hw2s story was handled#people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore#thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited#i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that#a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days#before it even#of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days#i just miss my guys :(
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doublekanble · 11 months ago
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Hi. Read your fic WHAT THE FUC- (/POS ITS SO GOOD??) BRUH I WENT INTO IT BEING LIKE "oh I'm just curious as to what this'll be, I'm sure it's just like some short self indulgent thing" THEN GOT STABBED LIKE TWELVE TIMES OVER. INSTANT FOLLOW. OH MY GOD.
its actually IS self indulgent! just in the opposite direction! i want him to kiss me so badly but i also want him to hate me until its all he knows its a bit of trouble really
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