#so we'll be good even if the book isn't everything we can hope for

[pipedreame]

seeing people worried about tsc and how it's going to be received meanwhile I'm frothing at the mouth at the thought of just being able to have any Jean content like hey besties hope y'all get well soon!

[ashfae]

The thing about romance is, it makes a good story.

As soon as Neil described season 2 as "quiet, gentle, romantic" I figured we'd be in for it, because as he's the first to point out, writers are liars. And the best way to deceive is with truth.

Season 2 is romantic. The trappings of romance are everywhere. Crowley tries to set up Nina and Maggie by trapping them under an awning during a rainstorm, a classic cinematic bonding technique. Aziraphale's chosen method comes from his beloved books: the ball, the dancing, appearing as a pair in public, hands held as you twirl gracefully with your heart thrilled and racing. If they can set up a sensational kiss that will unlock the happy ever after. They've lived on earth, they've studied the tropes, they know how romance works.

The problem is a story is only a story.

Nina and Maggie had the classic romantic setup completely by accident before Aziraphale and Crowley ever began trying to interfere with them. They get locked in Nina's coffeeshop. They can't escape or communicate with anyone else, they end up talking by candlelight because there's no electricity, Nina offers wine. Maggie mentions how she'd hoped for a chance to talk to Nina, and now here they are. It's every bit as much a standard as what Aziraphale and Crowley attempt to arrange. Blanket scenarios galore exist because of that starting point. We love that story. And there's nothing wrong with that.

But it's still only a story, it's not enough. Because once that moment of connection is over, however lovely it was, all the rest of the world comes flooding back in in the form of dozens of angry text messages. Nina's messy entrapping relationship hasn't magically gone away just because she and Maggie shared a romantic encounter.

And it's so tempting think oh well, that's easy. We'll just give them more romantic encounters and eventually those will overwhelm the rest of the baggage. Must do, because it'll make them fall in love, and once they realize they're in love that trumps all other considerations, right? So it'll be fine. Love Conquers All.

Neil also mentioned Pride and Prejudice.

Darcy knows he's in love early on and makes a disasterous proposal that shows that he has no understanding of Elizabeth's perspective, possibly hasn't even thought about it. They've been meeting in forest lanes for walks, conversing, had tete-a-tetes in the sitting room, danced at a ball. And while his turn of phrase isn't as flattering as he thinks, he's still offering her everything he thinks she wants and needs: affection, security, his good name, wealth, an escape from the embarrassments of her situation, the world. How can there be anything to object to? Why would anyone ever refuse so much of value?

Elizabeth quite rightly cuts him to pieces. He lashes back with a few hard truths of his own and they separate. During that separation, he thinks and he learns. He takes to heart the criticisms she offered, re-examines his assumptions, opens his eyes. Thinks about her perspective and how sometimes the only difference between pride and arrogance is where you're standing. He does the work. When they meet again he tries to demonstrate that he's learned--not in order to court her again (yet), but because the only real apology he can offer, the only one that would have weight, is to show that he's grown, he listened to her. He changed.

Elizabeth of course has her own journey, accepting that many of her own conclusions about Darcy were erroneous because they were formed without her having the full picture to hand, and once she's done that she has to apply it to her own situation as well. She loves her family, but they do place her at a disadvantage on a number of levels, leading eventually to full-out disaster as her younger sister carelessly ruins all of their reputations. It's hard to admit, it's mortifying, but Darcy was offering her a great deal she needs. His offer did have worth for all that she dismissed it as an insult. And as she learns to value his own character more highly, and then as she sees that he did listen to her even though she insulted him so thoroughly...well, she grows too. And when they do eventually come together it's not because of courting and balls. There's a big romantic gesture in his rescue of her sister but even that isn't why they'll get their happy ever after. It was just the catalyst for the conversation. They win because they've learned how to understand each other and how to communicate for the future. How they can strengthen and support each other, how to balance their strengths and weaknesses. The films leave them at the wedding, but the book shows a bit of their marriage too, and during it they keep learning from each other. Their relationship is held up as a superior love story for good reasons.

The end of season one was romantic too. Crowley stopped time rather than face a world where Aziraphale would never speak to him again, Aziraphale walked into hell to protect Crowley, they dined at the Ritz and toasted the world. But then they stopped. Sure they spent time together, talked, enjoyed each other's company. But if they were talking about important things would Crowley still be living in his car? They had a bit of respite but all that real world baggage that exists outside of the romantic moment hasn't been faced, none of it. Four or five years sounds like a long while but for beings who are quite literally older than the earth? That's just an intermission.

Nina's relationship ends, leaving her with a tangled mess; Maggie realises the sweet dream of love she's been longing for isn't as important as the real Nina. They talk. They plan. Nina will sort through her life, get closure, figure out what went wrong with Lindsay and what she wants from a relationship, learn how to ask for respect instead of just bending under her partner's demands. Maggie will support Nina the way Nina needs, which sometimes means helping her get oat milk for the shop and sometimes means giving her processing space. They're on the same page; they're going to do the work. That's why most likely they'll succeed. To quote one of my favourite fanfics: it's not happily ever after, but it's a chance. It's all going to be okay. (The Profane Comedy by Mussimm, who absolutely nailed this theme)

The romance is nice, it's lovely. We need it to keep ourselves going. To give ourselves the dreams that help us get through the days and nights. But it's not the relationship. It's not enough on its own. The wedding can be the grandest most beautiful ceremony ever with doves flying and sweeping music and bells ringing, but that doesn't guarantee the marriage will last.

Crowley and Aziraphale have had their romantic gestures, oodles of them. One wing raised to protect the other from falling stars, another from rain. Shared ground, shared interests, hands offered in friendship and held on a bus. They've tried to get to the same page, they really have. They just aren't there yet. The biggest most important things still haven't been talked about, and season 2 showed there are even more of those big important things than we'd realised.

The show paints Maggie as Aziraphale's foil and Nina as Crowley's, even to the point of Nina casually calling Maggie 'angel'. But Aziraphale's baggage is Nina's. The toxic relationship has to be processed and understood and closed, and it hasn't been, despite season one. Lindsay never really liked Nina very much, for all that they tried to keep her trapped; Heaven never really liked Aziraphale very much for all that he believed in it. They both let themselves be used. But Lindsay left Nina and went to their sister's, whereas now the head of Heaven has reached out to Aziraphale and said here, we can fix this, you can fix this, don't you want to fix this? Others are already writing about that and maybe I'll add to it later, not sure. And Crowley, like Maggie, has had a sweet dream that he has to set aside. Maybe he'll be able to pick it up again eventually, maybe not. But sometimes you offer support by buying oat milk or rescuing your beloved from the legions of hell, and sometimes you do it by standing back while they sort through their shit.

Quiet, gentle, romantic. It was.

But that's only part of the story. Now they have to do the work. They thought they had, but they were wrong, because there's so much they just hadn't touched yet and tried to cover over with relief and sleight of hand and alcohol and forgiveness. The apology dance doesn't mean much without showing that you listened and learned. They've faced so much trauma already and that should have been enough, we wanted it to be enough and so did they and it's such a blow for it to turn out that there's still more to do, that the baggage hasn't just gone away and can't be hidden under blankets or soothed with cocoa. The texts are still coming in and demanding answers.

But it'll be okay. It will. It's still a chance. And one that in the long run makes them better, builds something real that lasts.

The best stories, the ones that last longest and become classics, are the ones that don't end with the kiss under the awning or the blanket scenario or the wedding. They're the ones that heal us while the characters heal themselves. It's hard to accept that there's still more to do. Harder to imagine how it can possibly work out. And yes, bloody frustrating to wait and see.

And we'll get through that interim by telling even more stories. Because the story is never just a story. It's how we get through the work, it's what we tell ourselves so we can do the damn work. Stories are what we cling to and how we remind ourselves we're human and connect. A book is a person you can carry with you. We're not alone, none of us, stories connect us because we love them and see ourselves in them, which means we see each other.

Aziraphale's back up in Heaven to deal with his unfinished baggage; Crowley left his behind long ago and it's clearly going to come back and bite him in the arse however much he tries to go his own way. And they can't help each other with that. Not yet.

But they'll get there. So will we.

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

Hey there! hope you're having a good day. What about something after the full moon where remus isn't in good shape and has to stay in the hospital and madam pomfy won't let anyone in so sirius somehow sneaks in to snuggle with his boyfriend?

I LOVE THIS

"No," Madame Pomfrey says firmly, hands on her hips. "Absolutely not. Turn around and walk away."

Sirius' stomach drops at that. She doesn't kick them out unless she thinks it's bad, too.

"Hold on, we-" James starts, but he doesn't get very far. Madame Pomfrey lifts a finger and James, for once, lapses into silence.

"He needs rest."

"We'll be quiet," Peter says quickly, as Sirius tries to find something to say. Something to convince her to let him in. There's nothing, though. Nothing he can think to say, because every inch of him is taken up by the fact that Remus is hurt. Really fucking hurt.

"This is non-negotiable," she says, and they all know it's final. Madame Pomfrey has a scary amount of authority. With a resigned sigh, James grabs Sirius' shoulder, turning him around and going to pull him a way. Sirius tries to protest, but he knows full well that it's futile. He's just going to have to have a day of panic. Maybe he can skip lessons, claim that he doesn't feel well, even get into the hospital wing himself if he drinks something he's not supposed to.

"You can borrow the cloak, Padfoot. I've got Remus' notes covered," James murmurs as they hear the hospital wing door shut. It's enough to release some of the tension in his shoulders.

"Cheers," He says quietly.

That's how he finds himself, transformed into Padfoot, under the invisibility cloak. He slips through the door, barely letting it open and moving slowly to keep the cloak over him. Thankfully, Poppy doesn't look twice, turned away from the entrance, as she gathers up some books. She checks in on a cubicle, created by curtains, before heading into her small office and closing the door behind her.

That must be Remus.

He's there in seconds, transforming back and pulling the cloak off his head as quickly as he physically can.

Merlin, Remus is bad.

He's got a new slice across his face and is absolutely covered in bruises. Sirius can spot where Poppy's healed too many broken bones, and Remus looks absolutely exhausted. Christ, he must be in so much pain.

For a moment, Remus doesn't even register that he's there. It gives Sirius a chance to school his features, swiping his wand and wordlessly casting a silencing charm. Sluggishly, Remus lifts his head, eyes widening the moment they reach Sirius.

"Padfoot, what...?" His voice is croaky, stopping himself and trying to clear his throat. His entire face contorts in pain, making Sirius' heart tug.

"Hey, darling. How're you feeling?" He asks softly. He knows full well what the answer is going to be, expecting Remus to say 'terrible'.

Instead, tears start to fill his eyes.

Sirius' face softens, and he doesn't hesitate in sitting on the edge of the bed. He presses the palm of his hand to Remus' uninjured cheek, swiping the first tear away.

"It's okay. It's over now, everything's going to be okay."

Remus winces as he lifts his arms. Still, it doesn't stop him from grabbing Sirius' shirt and pulling him closer. Sirius climbs into the bed immediately, wrapping his arms around Remus and pulling the boy to his chest. He's half sat up, half laying down, so that Remus can rest his head on Sirius' chest. It's honestly not the most comfortable, but Sirius couldn't care less. Remus is here, and that's all he really cares about. He gently brushes his fingers through Remus' hair, hearing his breathing even out as he falls asleep.

Guess he's staying here.

He gently presses his lips to the top of Remus' head, only to be interrupted by the sound of a curtain rustling. He lifts his head and comes face to face with Madame Pomfrey. She doesn't say anything, just shoots him a stern look, and if Remus wasn't sleeping soundly, Sirius would start begging. Instead, he just looks at her, pleading. As if on cue, Remus tightens his grip on Sirius, pulling himself slightly closer in his sleep. Its enough for a smile to form on Sirius' face, looking down at Remus.

When he looks back up, Madame Pomfrey's gone.

Sirius' shoulders relax, and he lets his eyes close.

Thank Merlin Remus is okay.

[louvemione]

illicit affairs (part two) — d. malfoy (draco's pov)

synopsis : Draco watched as Y/n slowly walked out of his life and wonders why their relationship is considered illicit.

warning/s : angst, fluff if you squint hard enough, profanity, written in first person, pureblood! reader (this isn't really important & would only be implied)

author's note : like promised, here is part two of illicit affairs 🥳 but i feel like i didn't write it properly 🥲 hopefully, you guys get the message i'm trying to get through!

<- part one | part three ->

leave the perfume on the shelf

that you picked out just for him

sixth year

"why is it that you no longer wear your signature perfume? I used to love it" that was probably a dumb and unnecessary question to ask

but can you blame me? I just need the slightest reasons and I would gladly start a conversation with her. as crazy as it sounds, I'd most definitely take every opportunity to talk to her.

she was silent for a moment, luckily it was only us sitting by the fire, "there's absolutely no reason for me to wear it but i'm glad you loved it"

i hate this. i hate the awkward silence between me and her, i hate that she's distancing herself from me and i hate that i am pretty much aware of it, i hate not being able to tell her how much i adore her, i hate not being true to myself, i hate—

"i'll go to my dorms now, it was nice talking to you" she didn't wait for my response and continued to walk to her dormitory, i hate when she's formal, it's as if we weren't friends.

so you leave no trace behind

like you don't even exist

"good morning!" I say, rather awkwardly than I hoped for it to

"hello, Draco" she smiled and walked past me

I watched her retreating figure like I always do now that she tries to cut every interaction short.

I hate it.

I hate it when she acts as if nothing ever happened between us. I hate that she no longer wears her perfume. I hate that she's slowly starting to slip past my finger tips.

I fucking hate it.

because she was leaving my life, slowly. so slow that I could see her disappear bit by bit. like, she was packing her things to move else where.

from her presence, to her perfume. it's as if she never even existed with how carefully everything connecting to her disappeared from my life.

take the words for what they are

a dwindling, mercurial high

"you look gorgeous" I whispered, hoping that it was loud enough for y/n to hear, hoping that she knew that it was directed at her, not Astoria.

I felt guilty for dancing with my soon-to-be wife and wishing it was y/n I'm holding.

soon enough, when Harry and Y/n stopped dancing, I excused myself.

"I'll go out for a moment" not waiting for Astoria's reply, I started walking away. I walked behind Y/n, grazing my hand against her waist in the process, hoping that she gets the message.

and that's how we ended up in the restricted section of the library, where we spent the next hour hugging and exchanging kisses and i love you's while looking through the different books in the shelves.

i love you, looking back, I started to wonder whether or not she took my words seriously.

"impossible! he can't...actually mean it!"

but according to the conversation I overheard, she took it as a dwindling, mercurial high.

a drug that only worked

"we're okay, we'll figure this out together, but let's not think of that for now" my kisses were denied when she pushed my head away and sat up.

"we all know we can't do anything about it" she argued and pushed me off, "listen, baby, we shouldn't restrict ourselves from loving who we want and I definitely won't spend my life married to someone I don't love, so believe me, I'll do something about it"

"but you two are set for marriage—"

"but I love you, not her" she stayed silent and I smiled, "so, do you trust me?"

"yeah, of course, I do"

the first few hundred times

"do you not trust me?!"

"NO! I FUCKING DON'T!"

and that's the thing about illicit affairs

and clandestine meetings and stolen stares

illicit? our relationship is nowhere near illicit.

it's not wrong to love someone, what's wrong is to pretend to love someone.

if it were Astoria I'm in a relationship with, that's illicit. but y/n? why would our relationship be illicit? because I'm bound to marry someone I don't want to marry?

"you okay, mate?" only then did I realize that I have been gripping my knife so tightly as I watched as she laughed with Saint Potter.

"we know you've been...feeling bad since she ended things with you but—"

"I just don't understand! why now? why—"

"why not now, Draco? did you think she'd want to wait 'til your wedding before breaking it off?"

"there will be no wedding!"

"oh I wouldn't be so sure if I were you" Daphne says, "my mum wrote to me this morning and mentioned that they might start planning yours and Astoria's wedding, if I were you, I'd start getting into action"

I spent the rest of supper thinking and secretly staring at y/n, who seemed to be doing the same.

they show their truth one single time

"i love you"

but they lie, and they lie, and they lie

"do you love me, still?" I say, not too bothered by the students who I knew were eavesdropping in our conversation

"as a friend, yeah"

we both know she's lying. and I know she's aware of the fact that I know she's lying.

a million little times

© louvemione on tumblr | do not steal, copy, translate or repost

[millyondollarbaby]

Could you make Yandere Neighbor, Yandere Creep x reader who is also perverted and does everything to provoke the yanderes?

I’m assuming you want hcs/story for both so here we go because I am lowkey(literally) a nonchalant provoker- Not Proofread

𝐘𝐀𝐍!𝐍𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐘𝐀𝐍!𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

The Neighbor: Being the good neighbor we are(I mean temptress, seductress WITCH) we can clearly see his peculiar interest in us and are absolutely thrilled to play with him.

It starts small, a gentle smile and a wave if we see him outside, a quick acknowledgment. But as time goes on we want to test him- we go outside more, we keep a close eye to see if there is a hole in the blinds, and we notice he appears to always be outside when we are. He isn't exactly easy to ignore.

We utilize this knowledge: We garden more, exercise outside more, swim more. Imagine how ruffled his feathers get when he notices us in our summer bikinis taking a dip in our pool. His eyes almost pop out of his head, he's feeling... achy in a way he hasn't ever felt before. He can feel his heartbeat in his co-

Personally, I'm a sweetie pie and love to bake so let's be a good neighbor and bring him some of our baked goods! We make sure the packing is cute, paper boxes with bows on them and cute labels attached. We make sure we are wearing something homely but hot. A pair of jeans with a clean long-sleeved shirt, maybe blue or gray with the chest cut low revealing the tops of our breasts.

We stroll over to his house carrying his gifts. We knock on the door(or press the door bell), straighten up our spine, and perk out our breasts. Show time.

A moment later the door opens, the moment he sees us his eyes widen and his lips slightly purse. We smile "Hey neighbor, sorry to bother you but I was baking and had a bunch of extras I didn't want to waste." We say smiling holding up the boxes. "So I thought I would just bring some over here- hope you don't mind?"

He looks down on the boxes: Cookies, brownies, pastries. He looks like an owl. "I-I. That looks like a lot." is all he can manage to slip out. YOU'RE HERE! AT HIS HOUSE, AT HIS DOOR- GIVING HIM FOOD YOU MADE! He feels like he might throw up and potentially pass out. He lightly clears his throat feigning love sickness. We smile again sheepishly, " Yeah I can get carried away, I always like to have a stocked house. I figured your a big guy I'm sure they wont hurt," we say as we hand him the boxes. He looks to the boxes again and back to you- holy shit. He didn't even notice what we were wearing before. "Well enjoy them, let me now what you think." We say as we smile for the final time and begin to walk away. He is totally going to do despicable things with those treats.

𝐘𝐀𝐍!𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

This might have to be structured in more of a school setting but we'll see.

We noticed him from the begining, how could we not? He’s tall, gives off the vibe of a creepy pasta character, and is always around. We don’t really mind though. We actually think he’s kinda…cute.

We decide to give him some crumbs of attention here and there. Maybe we’re a teachers assistant so we either A. Work in the library and he comes in to return a book. We smile at him and turn away. B. We deliver papers to a class and make sure to say his name glancing at him for a second longer than others. He notices, of course.

We see him around campus and always make sure to send him a glance and maybe a smile. Giving off an air of subtle seduction. He feels it and it turns his gears. He sits and thinks about it all day. If he is really truly desperate he might have to make a detour to the restroom to pull one out before class- if he makes it to the restroom. He might have to cover a wet spot for a couple periods.

If you give him subtle attention he’ll take that as an invitation to show up more, even having the confidence to stammer out something once in a while: “H-Hi um… can I get this?” He’s cute like a stray skin walker in the forest.

[lurkinggirlie]

Elain & Azriel are EndGame

Azriel’s bonus chapter: semi-essay on my thoughts

This post will be a long one. The shipwar has been going on for far too long, and there's a possiblity that we'll be getting closure soon. So, I want to put my thoughts out there. For Obvious reasons, I could be very wrong, but this is what I think based on canon text: (Ignore any errors..I haven't edited this, and I'm sure there are many posts like this that are way more articulate)

Elriel are endgame. If they’re not then Azriel is kinda pathetic and having him end-up with anyone else is bad writing and character assassination. (Which we sadly won’t put past sjm but I don’t think she would..at least I hope)

1- Elain has no other love interest. Yes, Lucien is her mate but we have hinted at a broken/rejected mating bond for the longest time when it comes to these two so having them accept it eventually is going to be quite underwhelming, repetitive and boring. Even Lucien seems to have given up/isn’t interested in bridging that gap between them, which we’re told in both acofas and acosf. Unless you want to count the longing pointed out by Cassian, although Cassian also pointed out that Lucien was also uncomfortable when he mentioned his mate. To add on, there is no sexual tension between the two, and we know how important that is for sjm’s couple. You can't keep whining "but Elain isn't giving him a chance, if only she gave him a chance, then maybe this and maybe that" Elain is not a seprate entity, she is what SJM writes, Sjm could have written that but she did not yet and I'm not sure if she will. It feels too late at this point, she had already shown us that Elain has feelings for someone else aka Azriel. The author doesn't have to spell everything out for us to understand to what's going on. Sarah usually makes it clear who's endgame. and she literally is. So, it would be very sudden and out of the blue if Lucien and Elain were to end up together when she had never shown it before. When even Azriel pointed this out “I think Lucien will never be good enough for her, and she has no interest in him, anyway” people can say Rhys killed elriel, that the bonus chapter ended them. But this line right here tells us otherwise! First we know Azriel and Elain can read each other so well that they don’t need words, and then Azriel tells us this. He’s literally telling us that Elain does not want Lucien.

We also cannot compare elucien to Feysand or Nessian in the “enemies to lovers" department, because these two seem to hardly care about each other. For obvious reasons she wouldn’t accept or reject Lucien in a book that isn’t hers. But if they do end up together I’d feel robbed that she had more sexual tension with Azriel than she did with Lucien. And we know that Nessian and Feysand had sexual tension before getting together. Most of what we got from Elain and Lucien was awkwardness, and discomfort. Not a single spark. Furthermore, it would feel like Azriel was just leading Elain own. Plus their romance (Lucien and Elain)  would not feel organic, only getting with Lucien because she felt rejected by Azriel, which doesn’t give epic romance no matter how sjm tries to spin it. It would always make Lucien seem like the second choice.

2- Azriel regifting the necklace was a dickhead move, and offensive to both girls. Anyone thinking the regifting of the necklace ended elriel or started gwynriel is delusional and clearly doesn’t know how the romance genre works. (should’ve thrown the gift in the Sidra like Cassain did) I can’t believe Rhys isn’t paying Azriel enough that he felt the need to return the necklace to the shop instead of throwing it. Senstive Illyrian baby indeed. 

3- Rhys saying stay away from Elain (can we take a moment to appreciate how sexy Rhys was for pulling rank, he really made the ship more interesting now) and Azriel actually listening to him?? When he told him you can’t order me to do that. shit would be underwhelming if Azriel actually stayed away? Hello? Secret relationship potential ? Hello? Forbidden romance potential  ??? The tropes would be epic. Sjm had never done that. And I’m not saying she will, but this is how I see it playing out. + Azriel saying it was a mistake to Elain, and Elain apologizing?? The fact she was confused/hurt and probably thought she misunderstood the whole situation? SHE IS BABYGIRL?? Regardless, Azriel saying it was a mistake and it being a mistake is NOT it. This is not how romance works most of the time. This is such a basic romantic trope, why are a lot of people misinterepting it? Elain deserves better, and sjm isn’t about to hurt Elain’s feelings without making it up to her. And she’s definitely not making Azriel end up with another girl before he fixes that shit. I will be needing a proper apology to Elain.  

4- Whenever people think of the bonus chapter they weigh in Azriel’s feelings far more than Elain’s. It’s clear that Elain and Azriel’s feelings are MUTUAL, ignore the bonus chapter and it’s right there in the actual book. I don’t think Elain got the memo that Azriel had  a conversation with another girl after he hurt her feelings which made him realize he’s in love all of a sudden. *sarcasm*  that would be very out of character for Azriel. 

5- His chest sparkling at the thought of Gwyn getting the necklace was so??? I have been saying he’s for the streets and yes this was out of pocket. So, I understand people shipping them. However it could mean anything really, you can't continue saying that Gwyn in the bonus has to mean something, and that that spark must mean somethig but continue to disreagrd every single Elriel interaction like they mean nothing. Because for it to be taken as romance we’d have to ignore the beginning of the bonus, the feysand’s bonus acosf/acomaf/acowar and acofas. + we could easily take this in a platonic way, which is how I viewed it when I read the bonus. Not everything has to be romantic. And sjm will NOT introduce a new guy to make him end up with Elain since we already established Elain doesn’t want Lucien and Lucien doesn’t want her either. 

6- I know that a lot of people have theories about Gwyn being a lightsinger and all of this happening because of her powers (While I do think this is very smart, it wasn’t something I thought of so I won’t talk about it). I do think it’s possible, and all the theories I saw were really cool but idk where sjm is going with this, so to make it simple I do think it could be because she’s his student, she went through a lot it could simply be platonic happiness that a girl who went through so much is going to be happy about something. Even if it was a secondhand necklace specifically picked with ANOTHER girl in mind PLUS I do think sjm wanted drama, and for people to doubt elriel cuz now they have all these obstacles, so Gwyn would be the easy choice, but the second choice regardless. The relationship would feel icky and I genuinely cannot see the potential gwynriels keep talking about. I would take the ship a lot more seriously if a) he didn’t regift her another girl’s necklace b) there was more to them in the actual book. c) he wasn’t still upset about it 3 days later… 

7- There’s a high possibility Gwyn never even got the necklace..

He gave it to Clotho not Gwyn, he didn’t want his name mentioned, and then said if any other girl would like it to give it to them: the aim was to get rid of Elain’s necklace. It’s sort of a parallel with Cassain throwing away Nesta’s present.

I think it’s possible that Azriel went there because he knows how much the girls in the library have suffered, especially since his mom did too, it's possible he thought "okay this is a pretty necklace, I don't want to hold onto the reminder of what could've been, so instead of throwing it let another girl be happy about it. At least it won’t go to waste”

Clotho could tell there was something wrong, like maybe she sensed the energy and decided ayeee let me keep this aside for him, he might come back and ask for it. 

The bonus did not happen at the end of the book 

If Azriel was truly in love with Gwyn now /or he wanted her/ or more between them was going to happen/ or they were mates according to some theories we could have AT LEAST gotten more after the bonus. 

We know the bonus happened after solstice.

Nesta mentions that Azriel was stone-faced and more aloof than usual, he wouldn’t even give her a smile. That was 3 days after the necklace situation. I think it would’ve been a great opportunity to highlight any attraction between Azriel and Gwyn.

Maybe he sees the necklace around her neck, maybe Nesta and Emerie compliment Gwyn’s necklace, or Gwyn telling them she doesn’t know who it’s from, maybe they tease her that someone might have a crush on her. Nesta could’ve pointed out that Azriel was looking at Gwyn’s necklace.or looking at Gwyn in some sort of way. Literally anything. 

Anyone pointing out the way Azriel and Gwyn looked at each other. A charged glance perhaps. Literally ANYTHING. We only got him looking at her with admiration which is very teacher coded. 

If sjm hadn’t made Nesta realize Azriel had a thing for Elain then maybe gwnyriel would’ve been more appealing to me. But no, Nesta noticed. This doesn’t mean nothing people.

aside from that we got nothing romantic, but a part of the fandom still acts like we need to exile Elain because she’s coming between Gwyn and Azriel’s epic love story.

Not everyone has access to the bonus.  

The Azriel chapter was only in ONE store in the US, but Feysand’s bonus chapter was in 3 stores in the US and UK. I don't know but something tells me it’s more important.  Soooo if SJM would do a love interest switch she would not do it in a bonus chapter, and wouldn’t be highlighting the Az/Elain interactions in ACOSF as much as she did. 

Feyre’s chapter focuses on Elain, it literally tells us Elain is next once we’re done helping Nesta. EASY MATH. and the Azriel bonus also focuses on elriel/Azriel’s feelings. ENDGAME MATERIAL RIGHT HERE. 

But the girls swear up and down that Gwyn and Azriel’s book is next because of a secondhand necklace. 

Let’s assume elriels are the delusional ones (like so many of them say), how do we explain these. 

Casual readers who usually read books and aren’t on the internet and aren’t looking for bonus content (wish that was me)  (lord knows I skipped every bonus chapter in throne of glass and crescent city and I wasn’t confused about anything. Not even once) so they’d expect answers for 

The Charged glance between Azriel and Elain

Azriel following the sound of Elain’s laughter. 

Elain looking away when Azriel smiled at her during family dinner, Cassian god bless him that idiot could NOT piece all of that together. BUT it was still highlighted through his POV ???

His secret to tell never hers (and we do learn of that secret in the bonus but people who didn’t read it could only guess so they’d want a confirmation) and sjm did say in one of her lives that Nesta learns of one of Azriel’s secrets (she looked all giddy about it)... and that Azriel is going through some shit right now…and we learn why from the bonus chapter. 

Cassian being confused that it seems like Azriel moved on from Mor

Nesta pointing out that Elain moved on from Graysen

Cassian wondering why Elain is lying about where she’s going. (I viewed this as her avoiding Azriel but idk) 

Azriel’s protectiveness of Elain. He gives mate behavior without the mate part. (I will hit him on the head though omg let my girl do something)

Elain willing to look for the troves even when Nesta wasn’t, the girl wants to do something  (her journey is coming next) 

Nesta wondering if Elain is training with Azriel or the twins (who are spies that were trained by Azriel !!!) 

Feyre telling Azriel that Elain got him beat for secret keeping. Sure it might sound delusional but Elain keeps being compared to Az/being a spy and maybe this could be a thing. 

Elain speaking back to her sisters about them treating her like a child?? Hello finally 

The way Elain’s mother only treated her like a pretty doll which shaped up Elain’s whole life??? I want this from Elain’s POV sooo bad 

In conclusion, we’re not pausing Elain’s story so Azriel can end up with a side character in a spinoff about an og side character, we’re sticking to our og side characters for now.

Azriel being over Mor because of Elain, and Elain moving on from Graysen because of Azriel only for Elain to get over Azriel to be with Lucien (who we got nothing from aside a mating bond..) and for Az to get over Elain and questioning fate for her…only to end up with gwyn…like I don’t think anyone could take Azriel’s feelings seriously if this happens. Shit will be too goofy.  Because if he ends up with Gwyn who says he won’t move on to the next pretty girl he sees afterwards.

To add to that, what plot would we have for Azriel and Gwyn. We'll get more Valkyries training, more healing journey so the plot would have to be paused for this. Nesta’s book was mostly about her healing journey and friendship, while it was nice I don’t want a repeat for the next book. Especially since we know the Rite took a toll on Gwyn, she went back to the library, wasn’t even sure she would make it to Nessian’s mating ceremony. This doesn’t give the protagonist of the next book to me. Or "I thought it was pretty obvious"

Elain’s healing journey had started in ACOWAR, she got her friends in ACOWAR. Now is their TIME to do something!! She is next. 

Closing thoughts on what I think would happen based off each ship happening: 

If elriel happens = new sjm couple dynamic/interesting plot. Fresh sjm protagonist that is unlike sjm's others + we don’t ignore all the foreshadowing and hints. We follow the love triangle we set up in the og trilogy + finally get a rejected mating bond. And instead of warrior training we might get spy training and instead of physical power (as far as we know) we get something more mental. Again this is very new for sjm + there’s a lot to Elain’s power that we don’t know and since Azriel was the one who found out what she was, I think it would make more sense for him to know how to help her. Imagine the sexual tension during training..yes please. I hope sjm doesn’t rob me. Elain is really mysterious, we got Nesta’s inner thoughts before her book but we still haven't gotten a peep about Elain’s inner thoughts and I’m just dying to know more. AND THE STAKES!

1) Rhys forbidding Azriel from Elain, 2) Elain’s mating bond,3) Azriel’s self doubt and how he doesn’t think he’s good enough. 4) The blood duel and the political mess we could get into. (Lucien probs won't but what if Beron would, the breeding potential, A seer must be a powerful thing she can see things others can't and I think that’s valuable. If Eris thought Nesta was valuable as cauldron made and there was no potential there, so The Autumn court probably feels even more entitled to Elain) We have high inner and outer stakes. I have a feeling SJM will fumble all this potential but a girl can dream 

If elucien happens = another successful mating bond + “enemies”  to lovers sort of but they won’t ever be mean to each other so maybe not enemies, just dislike and awkwardness to friends to lovers?  We ignore the hints about a rejected bond and in mating bonds we trust. We also ignore all the elriel hints, and their mutual feelings. We follow the love triangle set up in the og trilogy. I don’t think Lucien could train her in anything? Maybe self defense, Idk Sarah could pull something, but I don’t see Elain leaving her circle of friends but neither do I see Lucien settling in the night court and leaving his own friends. There are no stakes but Elain’s and Lucien’s awkwardness around each other + Elain’s feelings for Azriel. Elain’s and Lucien’s plot connects though so at least there’s that, SJM could ship them off on a mission together and make them get closer. Forced proximity sort of thing. 

If gwynriel happens then = we lost the whole plot, ignored the foreshadowing and hints found in the actual book. Mentor to lovers, civil with each other. Azriel has to move on from Elain first though and that could be icky. Healing journey, more Valkyries training. So we pick up from where we left off in acosf, and we’d see Azriel trying to get her to come out of the Library, or he goes to visit her there until she agrees to come out again. Maybe if Gwyn is a lightsinger then idk more training with Azriel? Again, no stakes but Gwyn’s trauma and Azriel’s self doubt oh and also his feelings for Elain. But that’s it, Gwyn as of now does not connect to the overall plot with the troves (she’s not made therefore she can’t use them) or koschei. So I don’t see us making her go on a mission like that. I’ve seen a lot of gwynriles saying Gwyn has spy potential idk where, but she could barely keep a secret for Nesta so I highly doubt she’d be keeping secrets for the IC. 

Ps: the original koschei plot is 3 sisters marrying 3 very powerful wizards and like idk 3 sisters 3 brothers…we can have a retelling ya know 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Don't Speak 27

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, allusions to abuse, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: stuff is going on at work (I'm not in trouble) but it's kinda dramatic rn so...

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

Dr. Kemp walks in with a cup of tea and puts it in front of you. He insisted on making it for you and you were too hazy to deny him. You're still reeling from your session with Andy and now you're struggling to reset before your one-on-one. 

He smiles and backs away, slipping your journal from the table where you left it and bringing it to you. You take it as he claims the vacated armchair across from you.

"So," he leans an arm on the chair casually, "I know it's been a long morning. We'll try not to overwhelm ourselves, yes?"

You nod and look down at the journal. You're already there. You feel like folding over and shutting down.

"How are you feeling? Is it a lot?"

You swallow and mouth a 'yes', too weak to get much out. You can feel him watching you. You can't even look back at him.

"Right, I guess... there are some things we need to delve into. For your own good."

"Okay," you croak, resting your journal in your lap.

"Have some tea, get settled," he suggests.

You reach forward, keeping a hand on the notebook as you take the mug. You blow over the steam and inhale the scent. It smells different.

"I brought it with me, I hope you like apple cinnamon," he says.

Finally, your eyes flick up and meet his. He watches you expectantly so you take a dainty sip. You hum, it's tasty.

"Thank you," you say and put the cup back on the table.

"Not at all," he runs his fingers along the armrest, "I have a very sensitive question for you."

Your brows draw together. You stare at his neck. He takes a breath, chest rising and falling.

"How much experience do you have in intimate relationships?" He asks.

The room goes stolid as you blink. He waits as you clutch the book tight, nearly bending the hard cover. Your lip twitches and your lashes flutter.

"I..."

"I know it can be hard, but we need to talk about these things. It's obvious you have some shame associated with that part of your life and self. That's not healthy but we can't treat you if you don't talk about it," he explains, "so, you don't need to tell me everything. That's something else you can put in your journal, okay?"

"Okay," you agree, "I can do that."

"But I still want an answer. There are some things I do need to know," he prompts.

You hang your head. You bite your lip deep as you weigh how to say it. Really, it's simple.

"None," you murmur, staring at your toes, "no one wants me."

He hums thoughtfully, "maybe not before, but you must see now that that's changed. I think it's obvious how Andy feels... isn't it?"

You nod again, a lump in your throat.

"But let's not focus on him, let's talk about you. Just you. Is there anything that you've done... alone?" He leans forward, just a little.

You blanch, breathless as the room tilts. You know what he means. You can't believe it. He's only trying to help, right? He is a doctor after all.

You grab the mug, comforting yourself with the hot porcelain. You part your lips and close your eyes. Just be honest, he's not there to judge you. He might even be able to help you.

"Yes," you utter tightly, "not... much. I... I was scared... so... just a little... touch."

You hear him inhale, "right, good. Thank you for your honesty."

Your eyes snap open, "your welcome."

"Let's go over your homework," he stands and you shrink down just slightly.

You watch him as he slowly crosses the room. He has very nice eyes, you think, and his hair looks soft. There's something about him that is welcoming in that moment.

"Just a second, okay, sweetheart?" He holds up a finger.

You force a half-smile and wait as he leaves the room. He comes back with a small plastic bag. It's black and unmarked. You've never seen a bag like that. 

"May I sit?" He approaches the couch. You wave to the cushion quietly, "so, this is what you're going to work on. If you're going to get more comfortable in your relationship, you have to get more comfortable with yourself." He puts the bag on top of your journal, "you can use that to... explore yourself."

You look down and stare. He laughs again, softly. "Go on and look, it's yours."

You hesitantly touch the seam of the bag. You trace your fingers to the top and lift up the edge. Your eyes widen as you see the small silver shape in plastic packaging. You think you know exactly what it is.

"I can't..." you begin.

"You don't have to use it but you do need to... experiment with yourself. It's healthy." He says, "but if you need it... you have it now."

You move the bag under your journal as if to hide it. You give a noncommittal nod.

"And you can write down how you feel after," he offers, "oh, and... I can give you my email? If you have questions outside our typical sessions. How about that?"

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a burgundy pen, "can I put it in your journal?"

You bite down and reluctantly put down your mug. You open your notebook to a blank page and hand it to him. He puts down his email and shuts the book, putting it back in your lap.

"You did a really good job," he gently brushes his knuckles down your sleeve, "what happened to that purple sweater? I haven't seen you in it."

You shrug, "Andy liked this better..."

"Well, you shouldn't wear what Andy likes, you should wear what makes you feel nice," he gives a tug on the sleeve and draws away, standing with a groan, "well, I think you've had enough of me. Go enjoy your tea, doctor's order."

You look up at him. You slide forward and take your mug, standing with trepidation as you watch him. He smells like a forest. You like it.

"See you next week, right?"

"Sure, next week," you agree before turning away. You're just happy to get some time alone. You feel like you haven't had much of that lately.

🕊️

"Dove," Andy's timbre undercuts the chirpy tones of your music. You look at the door and lower the pen from your tablet, tapping pause as your dread returns, "Steve's heading out. Why don't you come say goodbye?"

You put your tablet aside and push yourself heavily across the bed. You stand and drag your feet, the handle rattle before you can reach it. Andy opens the door from the other side. 

"Sorry, I was drawing," you murmur. 

"That's fine," he says, "he asked me to come get you."

"Alright," you shrug.

Andy's eyes fall to your new outfit; the one you'd chosen yourself that morning. You see the small twitch at the corner of his lips. You move past him as if to outrun his ire.

You go downstairs and find Dr. Kemp by the door, buttoning up his black wool jacket. He has a scarf around his neck and you recall the redness in his cheeks upon his arrival. You peer out the narrow pane beside the door. 

"Is it very cold out?" You ask.

"Probably even colder now," he smiles with good humour, "I never mind it. Favourite time of year."

"Oh," you bounce on your feet, "Amber always says it's hot chocolate season."

He chuckles, "that's a good way of looking at it. Hot chocolate; I'll have to remember that next time I come."

"Oh, uh, no, you don't have to–"

"I didn't say I have to, but I want to," he assures, "you a marshmallow girl? Or you like whipped cream?"

You can't help a smile of your own, "either."

"Alright, I'll bring both," he promises, "I'm sure Andrew will stick with his dark roast."

Andy growls but doesn't argue.

"Well I see I've overstayed my welcome," Kemp says, "I'll leave you two alone. Oh, Andy," he continues as he checks his watch, "what did you need me to bring for Thanksgiving? You said no to the peach cobbler so I have to learn how to make something else."

"Bring whatever," Andy replies dismissively.

"Oh, now he changes his tune," he scoffs, "what's your favourite?" Kemp looks at you. "For thanksgiving?"

You think and suddenly feel very sad. You remember the little dinners you would have with Amber, just the two of you. She always made you your favourite dish even if it wasn't very traditional.

"Banana pudding," you eke out grimly, "but… it's not very seasonal, I guess."

"But delicious," he says, "you okay?"

"Yeah, I… I'm fine," you fold your hands in front of you, trying not to let your homesickness seep through. "I… I'll see you next time."

"Sure thing," he winks, "Andrew," he nods and shakes the other man's hand, "you take care of her. She's had a long day."

You stand, spaced out, his silhouette blurring as you hear the door open and close. You just want to lay down and not think. You don't even have the energy left to draw.

"Dove," Andy touches your sleeve, "what's going on?"

"Nothing, tired," you lie. 

"Alright," he accepts dully, "maybe you should relax like he said. How about I run you a bath?"

You don't answer. You pass him and head up the stairs. You can't tell him the truth, you know it'll make him mad. You don't want banana pudding, you want Amber's banana pudding.

"Hey, talk to me," he follows you, "a nice bubble bath sounds nice, doesn't it? It'll help take the tension out."

"Fine," you mutter as you get to the top of the stairs and turn down the hall.

"Is that it? No thanks?" He says tersely.

"I'm sorry," you face him just as you get to your door, "thank you, Andy, I really appreciate it."

"Do you? I thought we were making progress."

"We…are," you frown.

"Uh huh, is that why you brought her up?" He challenges. You shake your head. "Amber… you mentioned her and now you're all upset about it."

You push your lip out, "I miss her."

"You're better off here, where you can get better."

"I know but… she's still my sister."

"Right, and how much do you think she cares? She's got a whole house to herself now. And you've got one too," he gestures to the walls, "you have to stop thinking of that place as home, this is your home," he insists, "so go grab some PJs and I'll get the tub going."

You dip your head. You’re just sad, you wish he would realise it’s not his fault. That you’re lost and you always have been. You don’t know who you are or where you belong.

“Thanks,” you whisper and turn to open the bedroom door.

“Grab some of your new pajamas,” he says.

You go inside and open the dresser. You didn’t fail to notice that it found its way back flush to the wall. That must’ve been when Andy took your journal. That thought bites at your sadness, instead sparking your anger. You still can’t understand why he would do that.

You stop as you open the drawer and stare inside. You sift through the neatly folded clothes. A frilly pink nightie, another pair of pajamas with shorts printed with tiny purple hearts, items you would never pick for yourself. You remember what Dr. Kemp said.

You push aside the new sets and pick out the pair of plaid jammie pants and the grey sweatshirt with Snoopy on it. That’s your favourite pair of pajamas. Amber had the shirt with Woodstock. You hug the fabric and use your hip to close the drawer.

You grab the same novel you’ve been trying to finish since you got here and go back into the hallway. You near the bathroom door and peek inside as Andy bends over the tub. You clear your throat and set your things on the counter.

He stands and shakes the water of his hand. You can smell lavender. He faces you and dries his hand on a towel. His eyes drift from you to the clothes on the counter.

“Oh, those are… cute.”

“I like em,” you wring your hands.

“Yeah, but… they’re old. You have all your new stuff.”

“There’s no holes,” you argue, “and it’s getting colder.”

“Sure, sure,” he crosses his arms, his sleeves snug to his biceps.

You keep your eyes to the floor and move to stand against the counter. You glance over at the door, waiting for him to leave. He hesitates, stopping just in front of you.

“Dove, is everything okay?” He asks.

You tilt your head and examine the tiles. Your pulse is erratic. You shouldn’t say it. It’s not a big deal. But Dr. Kemp says you should speak up.

“No,” you clasp your hands tight, “I’m… I’m… annoyed that you took my journal.”

“Oh,” he lets the single syllable hang, “is that it? I apologised.”

“Yeah, but… but you went into my room and you went through my stuff,” you say, your tone wobbly, “and that’s… that’s wrong.”

“Well, dove, your room? This is my house,” he corrects you, “it’s not like I was snooping. I just forgot to ask you to grab it so I did it myself.” He sighs, “you know, I love you but you make such a big deal out of things.”

“It’s a big deal to me,” you sniff, “and… and you didn’t mention Thanksgiving. I didn’t know– I didn’t know we would do that. I… what if I don’t want to?”

“Don’t want to. Sweetie, why wouldn’t you want to? It’s a holiday. Our first,” he puts his hands on his hips.

You’re quiet. You swallow tightly. You take a breath and release it slowly. Your heart flips and you feel the room shift.

“Can I invite Amber?” You ask so abruptly that you have to slap your hand over your mouth. The thought escapes so fast you can’t stop it.

“Amber?” He repeats bitterly. “Why would you wanna do that?”

“Well, Thanksgiving is for family and… and you said, I want to… I want…” you can’t catch your breath, “to— say… s-s-sorry.”

“Calm down, alright? Don’t be so dramatic. Why? Sorry for what?”

“For hurting her. Like I hurt you, right? That’s what you said.”

He looks away and your eyes flick up briefly. His jaw is set and his eyes are fiery. You shy away as he faces you again.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he backs up and grabs the door, “take your bath. Get your head straight.”

He storms out and slams the door. You whimper and stare at the painted wood. You’re so stupid. One step forward, a hundred backwards. You just can’t let things be good.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

... A Thousand Words: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.5k

Summary: A man commits suicide and leaves behind tattoos that tell a story about the victims he's killed, and the one that's still alive.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"How's Reid doing?" Derek asks.

"It doesn't even seem to faze him. He's just sitting there in the corner turning pages. Have I told you how in love I am with him?"

"You don't have to say it," Emily chuckles.

"I told Pen to send you a list of tattoo parlors in Tallahassee that might recognize this work," you say to Rossi.

His phone pings and he looks at it. "Just got them." He looks at Emily. "Want to check these out with me?"

"Sounds fun," she nods.

Both of them take a company car and leave. Hotch returns to the group.

"I got a few more hours out of the media," Jj says.

"We'll take what we can get."

"Prentiss and Rossi are going to check out some tattoo parlors." John is off to the side shaking his head and sighing. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah."

"Did you ask him about calling her Becky?" you chuckle.

"He'll be alright."

"I hope so because we still have no indication that this girl's even alive."

The coroner's office comes and takes the body away in a body bag since they need to process it. You watch them take it away with Derek and John.

"Are you sure it's okay to move the body?" John asks.

"There's no reason not to anymore. We've seen this guy's show."

"Have you seen anything like this before?"

"Like what?"

"Everything. The suicide, the clippings, and the journals?"

"I think it's pretty safe to say that no one's ever seen anything like this," Derek answers.

One of the tattoo artists, once he saw the pictures of the art, compared it to 'The Illustrated Man', the book Spencer mentioned earlier. The man didn't recognize the artist who did the work but knew the art had been free-handed. Free-hand portraits are gnarly to do on skin and don't always come out the way they want it to, but this artist did a damn good job at it. All the portraits look the same in the sense that the same artist did all of them, but they weren't done at the same time because some of them were faded and others looked newer.

The tattoo artist took one look at the rose on the dead man's arm and knew immediately that it didn't fit. There had been something underneath it and the rose was just a cover-up. He could tell that a cross had been underneath it because whoever did the rose didn't do it very well. Only pieces done that shitty must have been done in prison meaning the unsub did time. It would explain why a fifty-year-old didn't start killing until he was forty, and why rapists become killers after they've been in prison. They learn not to leave a witness.

The blank spot on the dead man's back not only represents 'The Illustrated Man' but it makes him exactly like him... the movie version of him. In the movie, there is an open spot on the man's back so people can see the future.

"Rossi and Prentiss think he may have done time, and that one of the tattoos may have been done in prison," Hotch says.

"I wouldn't doubt that," you scoff.

"I've got Garcia running everything through the biometrics database." Hotch sees the confusion on John's face and explains. "It catalogs all the prison inmates and their tattoos. They have detailed photos of everyone on every inmate."

"No, no, no, no," Spencer mutters and jumps up from his spot. "Guys? That blank spot isn't the only one he has."

"What do you mean?"

"He talks about the blank space where we assumed Rebecca's portrait would go. He talks about how once he fills that spot, the artwork will be complete. It's not the only blank space, is it? He has the one on his back in the middle of the tree branches. Why would he talk about completing the artwork when he hasn't? I need to see the body again."

"I'll go with you," you say.

"I'll call the ME and let him know you're on your way," Hotch says.

While you're on your way to the ME's office, you learn that Penelope has been a busy bee. She ran the covered tattoo through the biometrics database where it analyzed color, design, and texture. There's a ninety-five percent chance that it's from one of the four major institutions in the Northeastern prison system. The string of missing women began in 2000, so she went back from that year and found fifty-three similar tattoos on forearms like what your dead guy has. Of those fifty-three, ten were released prior to 2000. Of the ten, four are convicted rapists. Of the four, none of them trace back to Tallahassee. When given the name Bob, Penelope found a man named Robert Matthew Burke who was convicted in 1991 for eight years of rape and was then released in October 1999. The women went missing at the start of 2000.

John immediately recognized the name as soon as he heard it. Robert was a registered sex offender who was an ex-con out of Virginia. He got a traffic ticket near FSU the night Rebecca disappeared. John went to his apartment to question him about Rebecca but he could never find him. John finally got a hold of him on the phone and asked if he could come down and do a DNA swab and an interview on Monday.

That's what changed. He knew it was a matter of time before John caught up to him. He wasn't about to go back to prison so he killed himself.

You and Spencer arrive at the ME's office and are taken to the main room where Robert's body is. You and Spencer both put on gloves so that you can touch the body without ruining anything for the police. Spencer runs his fingers across his back with a frown.

"If these tattoos are a fetish, what enjoyment does he get out of the ones on his back? He can't even see them," you say.

"There's something here. I can feel the raised ink." You touch where Spencer is touching and feel the skin raised as if there is ink there but you can't see it. "Do you have a black light scanner?"

"Sure."

"I've read about this. Tattoos are put on with invisible ink so that no one can see them." He grabs the scanner from the ME and runs it across the back slowly. Invisible ink now shows itself. There are lines intertwining through the portraits and the tree branches. Once the ME turns off the lights, you can see them much better. "Oh, man. Look, there's one over here, too."

"They lead to the blank spot. Look over there," you say.

"What is that?" Spencer asks.

"It's an embryo in a womb. The partner is a woman and she's having a baby. I'm assuming his baby." Spencer continues to look at the invisible ink while you call Hotch. "Hey, Robert has invisible ink on him. Turns out the blank spot on his back isn't blank. It's an embryo. He's having a baby with his partner, a woman."

"Do we know if she has the baby yet?"

"The tattoos have dates, the embryo doesn't."

"Dating is prominent in the tattoos and the journals, and they're calendrical in their abductions. It's hard to believe their baby's birthdate wouldn't be exceedingly important to them," Spencer says while you hold out the phone to him.

"She's probably still pregnant," Hotch says when you place the phone to your ear. "We found out where he lives but it's not a place where he'd keep women for a whole year. This partner must have a house. Get back here. We need to update the profile and narrow the search."

You and Spencer finish what you're doing and head back to the cabin.

"The partner being pregnant can help us. We should have Garcia try and find her through doctor visits or medical records," Derek suggests.

"I don't think there would be," you say. "He basically lived off the grid which means she did, too. Judging by the photographs of what they did to the victims, it's safe to say they live in isolation."

"We've seen his hatred for women, and yet he teams up with her. What kind of woman could change him?" Hotch asks.

"Maybe they met in prison?"

"No, Garcia already went through all of that. He had no female visitors," Emily says.

"What about prison staff, doctors, and religious volunteers?"

"No. We went through a long list of all the vendors who were there during his incarceration. None of them resurfaced in Tallahassee."

"What kind of a woman would go to prison to fall in love with a rapist?" John asks.

"Someone vulnerable, emotionally fragile, and drawn to violent men. Someone in her life made her that way. It's a classic abuse cycle. What if that's who she was there to visit?" you ask.

"It's worth a try." Emily takes out her phone and calls Penelope, placing her on speakerphone. "Hey, you know the visitor logs from the prison we looked at?"

"Yeah, I still have them right here."

"I need you to check the dates for me. Were there any women who visited another inmate while Burke was there but then suddenly stopped visiting when Burke was released?"

"Give me one second while I look." She pauses. "Juliet Monroe went to visit her father in prison once or twice a year from '92 to '95."

"What was he in for?"

"Rape and she was his primary victim."

"He raped her and she still went to visit him every year?" John asks.

You think back to your rapist and how if he was in jail, you'd be perfectly fine to let him rot. You can't imagine wanting to visit your rapist in jail, family or not.

"She's repeating the cycle she grew up with," Rossi says.

"Yeah, she went from visiting him once or twice a year to once a month from '95 to '97. That's when Burke was serving his time for rape. Then she increased her visits to once a week all through '98 and '99 until they stopped completely in October of that year. That's when he was released. She owns a house in Northern Florida."

"Garica, get us that address."

As soon as it was sent over, your entire team headed over there with John and his team. You don't have to step foot inside to know there is a child inside the house and a dead woman.

"There is a dead woman inside the house," you say. "I can feel it. There's also a child. I'm thinking Juliet had her baby."

Where there is a door, officers and agents enter through them. The sound of a baby crying reaches your ears the second you step foot into the house.

"In here!" Someone is in the far back room but you have to clear the other rooms before you can get there. "Please, help me! In here!"

You make it to the back room and see Rebecca chained to the ground by her neck with a baby in her hand. On the mattress in the corner is Juliet limp and cold. She is dead. She must have died giving birth. Rebecca is a crying mess and stuttering so badly that she can't get a single word out.

"Give me the baby," you say and put your gun away. "It's okay, give me the baby." You take the baby from her arms so she can get help. John moves in as soon as she is cleared. "Hi, sweetheart. You're going to be okay."

"Becky, are you okay?" John asks.

"I just want to go home. I just want to go home," she cries.

"Yeah, you're going home, honey. You're going home. It's okay."

Paramedics come and look over Rebecca and the baby. The unsubs are dead but Rebecca is saved as well as the baby. His parents are monsters but that doesn't mean he has to be. You hope he goes to a good home with loving parents. While on the plane ride home, Emily and Spencer are playing a game of poker to pass the time. You and Emily are on one side of the table and Spencer sits across from you.

"Three cards, please," Emily asks.

"Three cards for the lady." Spencer passes them out to her. "I'm going to take one card."

You look at her hand to see her have three Jacks and three threes. That's a tough hand to beat. You look at Spencer with a poker face. You'd never give her hand away.

"One card? A straight or a flush, Dr. Reid. What are you trying to fill in?"

"Well, considering the odds of filling in an open-ended straight with one card are five-to-one against, while a one-card flush draw is more like four-point-five-to-one. I guess you'd say if I was smart, I'm drawing to a flush. Hmm. I think I'm gonna go all in on this."

Spencer slides all of his pretzels into the middle of the pile. Instead of money, they're trading snacks. Emily nods and slides all of her peanuts into the pile. Both of them are all in. Derek comes over with one earbud in his ear, interested in how the game is going to end.

"So, are you?" Emily asks.

"Am I drawing to a flush, or am I smart?"

"Either," she shrugs.

"Well, I'm... I'm a genius, but actually, I was drawing a full house." He lays his cards down. "Eights over sixes."

"I always forget you're from Vegas," she sighs.

"Yup."

He reaches for the pile and starts to pull it toward him but she stops him.

"Ooh, I'm sorry, not so fast. I, too, have a boat." She lays her cards down. "Jacks over threes."

The look on Spencer's face almost has you laughing.

"You drew three cards to a full house? That's like a hundred-to-one against."

"Ninety-seven-to-one. Looks like you're out."

She pulls the snacks in toward her. Spencer grabs the cards with a frown and tries to figure out how the hell he lost.

"Hey, Prentiss. Sin to win?"

You and Prentiss look at each other with a smirk. You shift in your seat and look at Derek who looks desperate for an answer.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Come on, now, I gotta know. What the hell is a sin-to-win weekend in Atlantic City?"

"Derek," she sighs, "I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, but there are some questions that if you have to ask them, it means you probably couldn't handle the answer."

She gets up and leaves the table with a smirk.

"There is a whole other side to that woman," Derek chuckles and sits back down to do his own thing.

"I never lose," Spencer frowns.

"You've lost against me," you chuckle and move to sit directly in front of him.

He keeps looking at the cards without looking at you.

"You use your body to distract me. That's cheating."

You giggle. "Then let's go for another round right here right now. I can't exactly 'use my body to cheat' now can I?"

"Fine." Spencer pauses. "No feet stuff."

"I can win without even touching you."

There is a mischievous gleam in his eyes. He loves a challenge.

"Wanna bet?"

"What do I get if I win?" you grin.

"I'll read that book you want me to read about that stalker who chases you through the woods."

Your eyes light up. You've been wanting him to read your dirty books in hopes he might recreate some of the scenes.

"What if you win?" you ask.

"You have to come with me to see that Russian film I've been wanting you to see."

"Deal," you smirk.

Spencer shuffles the cards and passes them out to you and him. Let the games begin.

"I have seen children successfully surmount the effects of an evil inheritance. That is due to purity being an inherent attribute of the soul." - Mohandas Gandhi

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[notmorbid]

...lost child, pt. 3.

dialogue prompts from the story of the lost child by elena ferrante.

are you threatening me?

even your shadow is better than any flesh and blood person.

i'll take away everything you have.

even an open lie from [name] was the only truth that could be uttered.

you haven't been proud of me in a long time.

the _____ we live in is much worse than the one we talk about.

the laws work for those who fear them, not for those who violate them.

since you couldn't make up your mind, i did.

i don't understand why you behave like that.

i'm not angry with you. it's not your fault.

i'm telling you these things because i love you, and i'm worried.

alright. i'll do it. but i don't like it.

you don't belong to this family.

i want you to teach me to ______.

at that moment, i was surely sincere.

you didn't understand, or you didn't want to.

i don't want to see anyone.

good lord, how you've grown. you're magnificent.

you look exactly like your mother.

i gave you too much rope. i let you re-tie too many knots.

the scam of rebirth raises hopes, then shatters them.

i never saw you cry.

do you feel lonely?

try to be reasonable.

i wanted people to think i was someone.

you'll kill me if you leave me like this.

you want to end up like ____?

not all human beings react in the same way.

you have no respect for anyone.

you should let it out. you should say whatever comes to mind.

each of us organizes memory as it suits him.

we both speak a false language.

you're even more defenseless than you used to be.

if the wind blows any harder, we'll all fly away.

wait. sit with me for a moment.

a wish, a fantasy travels more swiftly than blood.

i want to understand what is happening in your mind.

talking to you helps. you make me think.

knowing i'm useful to you makes me feel better.

to be adult is to recognize one's needs.

you're perfect. you never need anything.

nothing overwhelms you. nothing even touches you.

there are things no one knows, not even me.

everyone knows that people like _____ end up getting killed.

all men were once boys.

i should have done worse.

it's hard to tell you no.

does a person necessarily have to 'do' something?

you have to use your life.

i want to go back to sleeping alone.

it's terrible sleeping alone.

you've already forgotten. not me.

do i have to account for myself to you?

you repeat nonsense like a parrot.

every time you go out, i'm afraid you'll get in trouble.

be sure that i will watch over you.

what are you thinking of doing?

someday or other, we'll have to separate.

i will always try to help you. you have only to ask.

the time for faithfulness and permanent relationships is over.

you do only what you want.

i wouldn't want to enter your mind, even for a few seconds.

what do you expect from me?

be careful. ____ has always hated you.

you can be hurt only if you love someone.

all you think about is yourself.

it isn't books that make people good. it's good people who make some good books.

if you think about it, there's more to laugh at than cry about.

you don't respect anything or anyone.

now is not the right time for this conversation.

you must never touch my things again.

you always have to incite, poke, shove.

you have so many things to do. you won't even notice i'm gone.

it's impossible to have a real relationship with you.

this room is like a crime scene.

if it's fine, what are we talking about?

i owe you everything. you're the best person i know.

i thought something had happened to you.

you have no sensitivity. you hurt people and don't realize it.

the empty apartment makes me sad.

i dream of you often.

i'm looking everywhere for your perfume.

where is it written that lives should have a meaning?

what's become of you? i no longer recognize you.

you no longer surprise me.

words are full of ghosts, but so are images.

we must be careful not to make mistakes. we pay for our mistakes.

i don't know anything anymore. things go one way, and then they change direction.

only in bad novels do people always think the right thing, say the right thing.

go. do better things than you've done so far.

i'm so glad we've been friends for so long.

every intense relationship is full of traps. if you want it to endure, you have to learn to avoid them.

i did answer you, but you pretend not to understand.

to write, you have to want something to survive you.

i want to leave nothing. my favorite key is the one that deletes.

i want to untie my name. slip it off me. throw it away. forget it.

leave. come and stay at my house.

i love nothing about myself.

come and see me. we'll be together for a while.

you've always overestimated me.

where did i go wrong?

i am no longer able to distinguish what's mine and what's yours.

you are constantly celebrating yourself.

all you need to get a diploma and a degree is free time.

did you like my gift?

unlike stories, real life, when it has passed, inclines toward obscurity. not clarity.

[kimmiessimmies]

Make this night count...

"Look at all the colours! Isn't it pretty, James?"

"Very. The view is great from up here."

"It was a good idea to book this room for tonight."

"I'm full of good ideas."

"We have made things difficult for her this year, haven't we, James?"

"For whom, lovely?"

"Our author. This. Us. It was never part of her plan, was it?"

"No, but, haven't we also made things great for her?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Well, we've made things great for us, either way, Sade."

"Cheers to that, lovely."

"Sade..."

"Hmm...?"

"You wouldn't let me kiss you under the mistletoe because of where it might lead, but... since we're here now... Will you let me kiss you for New Year's?"

"Umm... No, I don't think so...

"Oh... Sorry..."

"I'm not going to let you kiss me for New Year's, James, because I'm going to kiss you first."

"Wha..."

"Happy New Year, you."

"Happy New Year, my girl..."

......

....

...

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think she'll let us be together in the new year?"

"We'll have to see, love... Let's make this night count while we're here..."

My dear followers,

This year has been very... intense... for me. I already wrote a long post about my mental health struggles, which put a huge stamp on my year. However, 2023 will also forever be the year I went back to my Sims, back to my stories, and back to Tumblr.

I spent five years away. Both because real life took over and because I had gotten into a rut with my Sims and the story. I never forgot them, though, and never stopped loving them. And suddenly, somewhere in February, it clicked. Everything fell into place, and I knew where I wanted to go with it all. In fact, it was this boy up here, my dearest James, who pulled me back. His story was suddenly clear as day to me. But how to begin? So, in March, I decided to just start writing. Then, I dusted off my game, found that all shortcuts and cheats were apparently in my muscle memory, and started shooting pictures to go with what I had written. And once I got going, I didn't stop. Everything I wrote in 2023 (and that's a lot!) even if it seemed unrelated, was geared towards James's story and the big moment that still lies ahead. However... As I've emphasised several times by now, I didn't account for this girl... So now it's like James said, "We'll have to see."

Coming back to my story brought me so much this year; I went from gameplay-based to story-based and found out how much I truly LOVE writing and how much it helps me, especially now that I'm going through rough times. Encouraged and inspired by someone dear to me, my story gained a title and came to Tumblr in full. I learnt to not only accept the benefits of poses, but how incredibly enhancing they can be to bring my ideas to life when used right. I reconnected with old contacts and made new connections too, some of whom proved to be true friends outside of this Tumblr/Sims world too. I've loved getting caught up on the stories I used to follow and discovering new ones. I've been amazed at how good CC has become in five years and pleasantly surprised to see there's still a good crowd playing TS3 in addition to the great things some of you are doing with TS4. All of this has been bright spots in my darkness.

And now we're entering 2024. I hope it will be light and bright for all of us. May the good days outnumber the bad ones and may we continue to feel the joy these little pixel-people bring us. Happy New Year to you and yours.

Much love. ❤️

-Kim

P.s. I know, I know; Some of you are now very disappointed you didn't get to see James and Sadie "making the night count." Just for all of you filthy animals I have one more post in this non-canon series set to go. Be forewarned; this one is very NSFW (And Not Suitable To View At New Year's Parties With Lots Of People Around) and will be labelled mature. I also have a sneaking suspicion it'll take Tumblr about 3 seconds to take it down, so I have an alternative post with Pillowfort link waiting in the wings. Going live as the the New Year hits where I am, at midnight GMT+1. See them making the night count by clicking here!

[hresvelged]

 ♫ HAPPY HOLIDAYS~ ♪ 

by all accounts, a princess and a pauper should not have much in common—two born to different destinies, forever expected to remain stationed at their respective ends of the spectrum. in spite of that, it hadn't taken dorothea long to find the common thread between them. whether one was deemed important and the other insignificant, it was still a terribly lonely path to walk. both bound by a longing for something more than what their titles afforded them, both with bright eyes fixed on a kinder future, one that might allow them to choose their own fates rather than follow the whims of wicked men.

maybe that's why she approaches her esteemed house leader in a more pensive mood this time around, though still happy to see her. "beautiful evening, isn't it, edie?" and it is, to dorothea. the sunset is remarkable, woven with lilacs and rosy oranges, the gentle gusts of wind carrying the scents of spiced goods and the season's fragrant flora. "i was hoping it would be. i wanted to give you your presents on a perfect one."

the corners of the songstress's eyes crinkle affectionately as she takes one of the princess's hands in hers, pressing something cold and metallic into her palm. a charm bracelet, which dorothea points to delicately. her finger first hovers over a musical note, for herself, before moving to the purple bear for bernadetta, a black tome for hubert, and so on. "you may be our future emperor, but you'll always be our friend first and foremost. we'll be there with you every step of the way."

once she’s sure the gift remains secure in edelgard's hand, dorothea retrieves another present from the side. a book, bound in cherry blossom pink and topped off with a silver bow. "and this is for those long nights when you can't sleep. i'm told it's a fantastic read, full of characters and plots that stir the heart." she places the book gently onto the other's lap, but not before a small giggle escapes. "you know, one day, i really am going to write an opera about you, and it'll rival everything you've ever seen or heard. only the best for my edie."

Edelgard is no songstress, but she feels fortunate that the beat of her yet unveiled tune coincides with Dorothea's. "Hello, Dorothea. It would be a shame not to take advantage of this weather." While she prepares herself for conversation, her path curves. It is rare for her to be presented with such heartfelt gifts. Oft is she shown surface level items, plastered by fake smiles and vocals coated in falsities.

In truth, these are words she has wished to hear. It is the emperor's duty to stand by themselves; to take orders from none and herald the empire. Her locked heart presses on. Yet, Edelgard has always hoped to have others to rely on. "You hardly needed..—" She begins before cutting herself off. She is instinctually drawn towards the jewelry and its finer details. Every color and charm is perfectly attuned to someone close. "I'm.. very impressed. This detailing, it's.. Truly incredible. With this.. It's as you say. My friends will always be beside me, isn't that right?"

The princess takes a few seconds to put the bracelet on her right wrist. Hesitant as she usually is to remove her gloves, she thinks she can allow herself to just this once. They lay to her side as she shifts the token proper. It brings life to her skin. While Edelgard is more than content with what she has already received, her eyes widen as she is presented with more. A laugh leaves pink lips, curiosity sparkling in lilacs. "You really do know me well," she says as her palms fall atop the book. "I could use something like this. Once I finish reading, I'll let you know of my opinion. I can even lend you this copy and we can discuss its contents. How does that sound?" Soft of a tone it may be, her usual seriousness remains ever so prevalent.

A pink blush pours on her cheeks as the mention of opera finds itself stirring the air, breaking the eye contact to peer back into her lap. ".. Let us hope that opera continues to remain in the far future. I can't imagine a time where I won't feel flustered over it." If there is a production about her, only time will tell of its finale. She may not have said it aloud, but she would like to watch Dorothea perform such a feat. Not as the the role of the emperor, but of a friend who believed in her.

".. I need to thank you properly. I'm grateful— Not only to know you, but to call yourself a dear friend. It's evident you considered me above all else. That's.. Well, it means more than I can say." Raising her right hand, she taps the musical charm with her left index finger. "You are something truly special, Dorothea." As she lowers her hands to clutch the book into her chest, she smiles: "Hm. Perhaps a sudden question, but.. What would you say to a little trip, you and I? A brief respite away from Garreg Mach. It would please me greatly if you were my company."

[disappearinginq]

I hate that people on a whole don't understand a narrative. Like...your English/literature teacher should've flunked people over this.

Probably the people who understand it best are the ones marginalized in life, because hey, we see ourselves in those characters. Other people have the luxury of just going "eh" and moving on.

But when hugely popular shows and movies and even books keep killing off their marginalized and suffering characters as the "only way this could've ended" I want to reach through a screen and choke them out because stop telling me the world is better without me in it., Or I will take you with me, and we'll see who's mourned.

It's not even just Bury Your Gays. In Outer Banks, they kill of the kid who is told from season 1 that you'll never make anything of yourself. You will always be poor, homeless, unloved, and alone. And then spend three and a half seasons showing you that this character absolutely will beat his own narrative - he finds friends that are his family, he finds a life he loves with the people he loves and they love him back, and then - they kill him. BUT THE RICH BITCH FUCKING PSYCHOPATH GETS A REDEMPTION ARC? I don't care how good the actors are, the narrative has now wildly swung from 'you can make it if you don't give up' to 'don't even bother - life will find a way to beat you down to where you belong' and airing two days after the catastrophic American elections - where the billionaires and greed and hate win?

The Umbrella Academy had three seasons of fun, quirky, broken people who tried so hard to fix their mistakes, to fix what they broke, and canonically, are representing marginalized groups that never get the happy endings. But dammit, this family tried. They didn't always get along, they were dysfunctional, but they still came together in the end, and loved one another despite the bad they have done. And then - the narrative again spins a wild one eighty and the story ends with "the world is better without you in it - die". Which is a very real narrative a lot of us live with.

The MCU - kills off Iron Man/Tony Stark, one of the very first popular characters who suffers from extreme CPTSD along with an alphabet of mental disorders; Loki, who is the adopted child and queer across the board, loses absolutely everyone and everything; Steve, who while he isn't dead, his character most certainly is because he goes from the one who does sacrifice everything to making a selfish, personal decision that winds up fucking over everyone; Bucky, who again isn't dead but he is openly blamed for the things he did while he was a prisoner and a mind-controlled assassin for the bad guys against his will by his mental health professional. And the narrative is "no, you should sacrifice yourself so the rest of us who treated you like shit can live a better life."

The stupidity of wanting to punish your audience who is punished enough in the real world often enough we don't need it or want it in fiction is just...mind boggling. And when those are the real words used by writers to justify their shit decisions?

I hope your death serves a narrative purpose, since you seem to think that is the noblist way to go.

[phantomspren]

I've been watching LotR the last few days (cause why watch something I haven't seen before from my incredibly long list of things I need to watch when I can watch something I've seen before a ton) and I just want to talk about radical hope.

The story of LotR is bleak. Just. So incredibly hopeless. There are so many points where the characters just genuinely have no hope that they will live, let alone save the world.

During Return of the King, there is a literal darkness that covers the world for days. The only hope there is for success is a couple hobbits. Who are walking through enemy territory. With one thing that would instantly guarantee success to the enemy.

And in the end Frodo fails.

Despite all of this

They kept hoping.

Frodo failed and all was lost.

But it wasn't.

They saved everything.

They didn't make it through unscarred. Many people didn't make it through at all. But they did make it.

But they wouldn't have if they'd given up.

Sam's speech at the end of The Two Towers left me in tears. (It normally doesn't.)

Lately I've been feeling incredibly hopeless. I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for a living, and I'm currently working towards something that I have so little chance of succeeding in. I'm paying so much money to go to school for this.

Beyond just me, I'm terrified for the upcoming election for obvious reasons. I live in a country where we already have a maternal mortality rate that's way too fucking high and people are actively working to make that worse. I live in a country where there are people who don't think I and the people I love deserve to exist. I live in a country where the highest cause of death for children is guns.

I live in a world where there is an active genocide going on and no one gives a shit. I live in a world where the deadliest disease has a cure, but why would we give them access to that? The people dying from it are poor. They're poor because of us. I live in a world that those in power are slowly destroying.

But I'm here. We're all here. And there's so much bad. But there's so much good.

I went to a convention last month, and it was the most fun I'd ever had. I want to do that again.

I got invited to go to a pumpkin patch with a friend next week.

I just finished rereading Hamlet.

I have motivation to write and tell stories for the first time in years.

I made a new friend this year.

I still haven't finished listening to Welcome to Nightvale.

Alecto the Ninth isn't out yet.

I had a friend help me out yesterday.

I helped out a different friend.

There are stars in the sky.

The leaves are turning colors and falling and it's so beautiful.

I watched a movie that I've seen at least a dozen times before and it made me cry.

It feels so hopeless.

But that's not a reason to give up hope.

We gotta fight for what we've got. I'm going to fight tooth and nail even if all it means is that I get to see one more sunset, read one more book that changes me, meet one more person who gets me.

I don't care if you can donate a thousand dollars to a charity, or if all you can do is just stick around for another day because you know that you will feel joy again at some point, that's what you gotta do.

It might get worse.

We might not see things get better.

But it will get better again. And before it does, there will still be moments of joy. And the chance that we'll see everything get better, the chance that we'll see anything get better, that's worth sticking around for.

That's radical hope.

Sam: It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo… and it’s worth fighting for.

[abrakuxas]

I watched the Penguin and it's a cool crime drama and all that, it's just... Not about the penguin. And what sucks is that it's clearly intentional up to this point. Everything I hear from the guys behind it is how much they want to get away from the comic book aspects of this.... Comic book adaptation.

I don't know why the fuck it has become the norm that Batman should not follow the comic book at all?

New Batman cartoon? No batfamily, they are random kids with two lines in a single episode. Every character is either not the character you know or a very diluted version of them (I'll ignore Harley on this one since her creator is the one behind it and I'm not gonna argue with how he deals with his OC)

A series about the stylish Mafia Boss supervillain, famous for his monocle, tophat and umbrella? Well, we kept the Mafia part but everything else has to go INCLUDING HIS FUCKING NAME!! Not only the moniker but the ACTUAL name. He can't be called Cobblepot because that's too much for this adaptation of a supervillain. The most they could do is give him a limp and a purple car. Yay! Let's work now on a prestige tv series about darth vader except he is actually an astronaut and maybe he could hold a red pen at some point so we can show how much we pretend to love the character idk. Maybe if we're feeling bold we might make him breath funny in a scene.

What sucks is that the show is not bad. It is objectively well written, well directed, it is good television, it just never had to be about the fucking Penguin. Just write a show about crime with your oc. Can you imagine if The Bear was sold as an adaptation of Sponge Bob "just more realistic and with less cartoony stuf. We deal with the life of Bob Stevens (we thought 'Sponge' didn't sound too real) dealing with the dramas of working on a kitchen and his traumas after being abuse at the 5 star restaurant 'Krusty's'".

It would be stupid as fuck and it's stupid as fuck for Batman as well, but it has been done so much that we're literally going to watch the second part of a Joker origin story film where Harley Quinn is Lady Gaga. Which is so fucking funny to me because not only the best Joker stories define him as a guy with a very ambiguous past and origin but Harley is very specifically her psychiatrist turned insane by abuse. That's the story. What you are showing me isn't that, it's just a story about a random loser dressed as a clown. Telling me this is Gotham and name dropping people won't make it an actual adaptation. It's not adapting anything, it's an oc, you're just making ocs and telling an original story.

Every single Batman thing has the "Pokémon is just Ashe in a coma" vibe now and I hate it idk.

I loved The Batman it really worked for me as this promise, this big change in the status quo of crime. Things are getting crazier, the quirkiness are showing and now the old face of old crime is busted giving the chance for actual supervillains to show up and take the city giving Batman a need for new partners and shit like that. I really thought it was a story that wanted to jump from that year two, early batman vibe into actual batman vibe. But now with this first episode of Penguin and even knowing that Reeves is involved with Caped Crusader I just lost any hope of it being actual Batman and I guess we'll just get yet another realistic Batman universe with solo Batman dealing with "the Scarecrow", a regular drug dealer who works with "Poison Ivy" she is the one who plants their weed. Don't forget about "Clay Face", a very ugly henchman to "Oz Cobb", the new regular crime boss. Idk, unless this series changes into actual supervillain territory I very much lost any interest in this universe.

[bridgeportbritt]

The Brown Residence | Brindleton Bay, Simerica

???: Hey, fam! I'm home!

???: Jenny! Hi, sweetness. How are you?

Jennifer: I'm good, mom. How are you? Where's Dad and Dennis?

Rainbow: I'm alright. They'll probably come down once they smell the food. Want to help me in the kitchen?

Jennifer: Yeah, sure.

Rainbow: So, what time is your friend coming over?

Jennifer: Pretty soon. He's coming straight from work.

Rainbow: Ah okay. Dennis spoke pretty highly of him.

Jennifer: Yeah, they seemed to hit it off at Halloween. Hopefully, you and Dad do too.

Rainbow: Hopefully, he's as great as ya'll say. Help me stir those veggies will you?

Jennifer: I think you will think so. He's got a good job, comes from a good family, plus he's really funny and thoughtful.

Rainbow: And where'd you meet him?

Jennifer: Remember when I was volunteering at the homeless shelter last summer? He was volunteering there, as well.

Rainbow: Okay, that's a good sign. 'Cause I have read some other things that-

???: Smells good in here! Must be a dynamic duo in the kitchen!

Jennifer: Hi, Dad!

Dennis Sr: Hi, baby girl. How are you?

Jennifer: I'm good. How are you?

Dennis Sr.: Well, I hear there's a boy coming over so I could be better.

Jennifer: Dad. He's great, I promise. You're going to love him.

Dennis Sr.: I hope so. Can't just let anyone snatch up my Baby Girl.

Jennifer: These are examples of things you all shouldn't say when my boyfriend is here.

DJ: Good luck, these two run away all my ladies.

Jennifer laughs: Hi, Dj.

Rainbow: And what ladies are these? The ones you have plastered all over your bedroom wall? Bring a real girl over here and then we'll talk.

DJ: Dang, mom. You stay cramping my style.

Jennifer chuckles: I'm sure the ladies love DJ.

Doorbell rings

The Browns in Unison: Come in!

Gianni: Hello, Brown family!

Jennifer: Hi, Gianni. You're just in time for dinner. You already know DJ, this is my mom, Rainbow, and my dad, Dennis.

Dennis Sr.: Hi there!

Rainbow: Welcome, Gianni.

Jennifer: Here. I'll take your coat. Have a seat.

Gianni: This food tastes amazing! You did a great job, J, Mrs. B.

Jennifer: Thanks, Gianni. I'm glad you like it.

Rainbow: Thank you. I'm guessing you don't have home cooking a lot with your parents away.

Gianni: Yeah, my mom wasn't much of a cook, but I can't complain. Always ate good.

Dennis Sr. laughs: I'm sure you did! I can't imagine food cooked by Royal chefs is all that bad!

Gianni chuckles: Yeah, it's alright.

Rainbow: And what about your dad's side? You know before he... went to jail.

DJ: Someone's been doing their homework...

Jennifer: Mom...

Rainbow: What? I'm just trying to get to know him. Isn't that what we're here for?

Gianni: It's okay! Really. I'm an open book.

Rainbow: Good. Because I read this article. Let me pull it up. Ah "New Flavor of the Week: Gianni Spotted with 5th Girl this Month." I'd love for you to be open about that.

Jennifer: Please excuse my mother. You don't have to answer these questions if you don't want to. You know I don't care about that kind of stuff.

Gianni: No, I don't want anyone to have any doubt about me. Yes, I used to... date around. You know, young, single, wealthy guy in Del Sol.

Rainbow: And what about now? Is Jennifer the new flavor of the week?

Gianni: No. Jennifer isn't a flavor. She's more like an enhancer. She makes everything better, including me. She's more than what I need or deserve. I'm really lucky to have her.

Jennifer: Aw, thanks, Gianni.

Rainbow: Mhmmm. Good answer.

DJ: That was smooth, man. I'm taking notes.

Rainbow: Maybe you should be taking notes, so you can finally bring home one of these ladies you keep talking about!

Laughter

DJ laughs: Why you keep coming for me, Ma?

Jennifer: Don't worry! We know your time is coming, DJ! But it might help if you left this house.

Dennis Sr.: House? Try his room!

Laughter

DJ: Alright, I'm eating upstairs.

Dennis Sr.: Well, it looks like you survived the interrogation portion of the evening, son. Now we've moved on to the roasting portion. You still interested in being involved with this family?

Gianni: Well... I imagine I can't take a roast to seriously from a family who still has their Halloween decorations up for some reason? It's nearly Spring!

Laughter

Jennifer: And they are so tacky, too!

DJ: The tackiest!

Rainbow: Tell that to that big hat you're wearing at the dinner table!

Laughter

[13tinysocks]

hey dude! What's up :)) been just a little since l've said something

Initially, this is me saying thank you and goodbye

This isn't supposed to be a weird pity story, so l'm so unbelievably sorry if it comes off that way, lol.

When I began reading your work, I was enamoured with fiction because of personal issues (as many usually are, honestly, I know I'm one of god knows how many people trying to run away from life for just a second with fanfics or media in general). I don't know if I will ever be able to communicate this properly, hell, this will even be unbelievable funny or dramatic but I need to get this across because it's coming from a genuine place. Your stories and work thus far has brought me comfort, immense heaps of it, and even still when I deal with things that feel out of reach or too much to actually face head on I find myself wandering back to syg or just your blog in general

I mean this, from my entire heart, thank you and thank Bee. A million times thank you, for making that one silly silly stupid piece of fanfiction, because oh my god it got me through some major stressful hardships within my life for the past 3 years.

I am leaving tumblr, however I’m aware I have submitted asks with my actual accounts before, so you'll likely be able to see they're still gonna be up. I'm just deleting tumblr the app instead of my account, but for other social platforms they will be deleted properly (such as quotev) so I won’t be indulging in much reading anymore when it comes to fanfics and such lol

I don't know if I'll come back, if I do I likely will not be back for long or to be as active as l've been because of the toll social media’s taken. So even as ridiculous as this feels, to tell someone I’m simply a fan of and barely truly know, that their fanfic of murderers and their love story with my self insert kept me pushing through a lot of tough days, I genuinely just had to.

I needed to thank both you and your partner for the work you've both put out. I still have that smiley pin I’d made, and I will cherish what you made quotev have been for me ( I literally found out about the website during early or late 2020 I can barely remember, then later found your fic, I was DEEP DIVING into that shit LMAO )

I hope whatever happens for you and bee in the future is only good, and I only will wish nothing but the best of luck with everything man.

feel free to post this (idk what it’s called but when you publicly reply lol) or not, as long as you read this it’ll mean lots to me !! >:))

your coolest weirdest ticci toby fan whose also named toby, 🐚 annon

I always struggle to convey gratefulness for messages like this and readership- especially repeated readership. My life would be different if it were not for comments and messages egging us on to keep writing from syg to ho1c. While it's easy to say that writing is solely out of passion for the craft there is also the drive to share something with others. Hearing those others loud or quiet as a favorite- does push us forward when we have no motivation or desire to work. That drive has made us closer as a couple, better thinkers, and a halfway decent writing team. I thank you and all the others who send us stuff even if it's shit post asks I never answer because I like having them in my inbox like a personal horde of platonic Valentine's. I like keeping the pieces you give me to myself sometimes. I know it may seem like I'm ignoring you but I find genuine comfort in these messages. That there are so many. That they are so varied. That we have reached beyond our shut-in existence to touch the lives of others.

I find myself wondering where an anon has gone when I do not hear from them in awhile. I wish them well. I wish them better standards than us.

Maybe we'll meet again someday space cowboy. If you're ever back in town feel free to shoot me (a message).

Thank you for reaching out. Thank you for reading. I wish you peace and love and good books.