#so we dont have good footage of this era

[kvtnisseverdeen]

Taylor Swift Eras:  Speak Now 

Swift’s third studio album was released on October 25, 2010 and re-released on July 7, 2023. This album is completely self-written and was produced while Swift was on the Fearless tour. Critics doubted Swift's songwriting abilities early in her career, and as a reaction, Swift conceived this self-written album. For many critics, Speak Now solidified Swift's songwriting and artistic abilities. She described this album as "a tale of growing up, flailing, flying and crashing and living to speak about it." The album went on to receive many accolades including two Grammy awards.

[simplydnp]

idk why this matters to me but in the last few months they've been acknowledging so many things I never ever thought they would. pinof and the touching. the phude multiple times. dapc slime (ok they had merch to sell for that one but still)

no but actually. phil literally said 'i thought we weren't acknowledging it' about the phude and now they just bring it up all the time.

pinof reacts... i still can't believe we're in a post pinof-reacts universe. how did that happen. i was changed permanently--like something shuffled in my dna when i got the notif for pinof reacts 1. this is not a physical reaction but a chemical one that cannot be undone. for something that was so... sacred. and integral. to their existence and history. pinof wasn't generally talked about unless it was pinof time. and even then it was 'it'll be up soon' or 'we just posted it' and then Never talked about outside of that. especially not the first one! we freak out about the We Know You Know in the newsletter but it's Always been like that with pinof 1. so to see them--new (& natural 🥺) hair for them both, in a house they bought and built together, in the first few months of giving the gaming channel a second chance--reflect on how it all began? absolutely devastating. and to lean into moments and discuss them in new ways. in territory previously not breached! the 'they're toUching'?!?!? the '11 hour fuck session'!?!? the '£9000 champagne'?!?!? like hey we're not supposed to talk about that, dan and phil might see!! shhh!! but they're the ones saying it!! absolutely wild.

in a way, it had to happen. especially with where we're at now (them literally selling merch of them holding hands). in order for them to move beyond that... mindset? i guess? that a lot of fans had, they had to defang it. i really see it as one of the biggest walls they've broken down in the way they communicate with us. the 'hey. it's okay. we've seen it. it's not a big deal. we will absolutely make fun of you for it though. but we're good.'

i'm just really curious whose idea it was. (lbr it was probably phil given dans not a react kinda guy. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be in the room where it happened when they talked about actually doing it or not, and what it would mean) (big ad revenue thats for sure 🤣 get it kings)

i will never be able to get phil's 'they touched' out of my head and at this point i wouldn't want to. it's absolutely earned. and i guess it makes me a masochist to enjoy the psychic damage it inflicts on me, but such is life i suppose.

the crafts mention really surprised me! i had contemplated a few different scenarios in how they'd go about it, and i'll be honest i feel like they could've committed to the bit a little more but they're forgiven. like what about glitchy interstitials! cuts to the merch website. found footage inserted between sections! i recognize they don't want to 'scare' their usual audience wirh sudden cuts to intense/graphic content but my immersionnn. absolutely shattered by 'oh we have new merch now btw'. cmon boys you love to lie to us. say theres merch up but you dont know where it came from. just that we should buy it 👀 or idk, something clever. and i recognize i may sound like a spoilt brat bc i just got a 14 minute long masterpiece of an unexpected dapc revival, but my immersion. i mean i already bought the merch before they shilled it anyways so it didn't influence me regardless 🤣

ultimately we really are in a new era. even beyond just the revival. i think they're really finding their stride--not only in their content (evidenced by a semi-regular schedule) but also creatively, in doing what they want to do, how they want to do it, and truly not giving that much of a fuck anymore. and i'm really happy for them. phil talked a bit about this in his 'rating my icons' video, where he's kind of decided he doesn't care what people on twitter think, and how it's been good for him, and i think we're seeing that reflected in not only his content, but also the gaming channel. they play what they want. they say what they want. and it's just fun. dan going on the record to say he's really enjoying it makes me so happy to hear, because literally december 2022 he believed he'd disappear after WAD. and now, instead, he gets to play games and make stupid jokes and smile and laugh multiple times a week, and he's really happy about it. he gets to be silly and goofy and crude without having to Stress about it. i keep saying it but they're so settled now. and as someone who's followed them through big changes and turbulent times, getting to see them happy after everything... it brings a lot of hope. and i know theyre millionaires. but there's something to looking at someone you fell in love with 15 years ago the same then as you do now. but instead of it being something scary, something you have to hide, something that feels like it can consume you and everything you have--it gets to be something beautiful. and regular. and embraced. you've read this far you get to listen to me wax poetic about them.

we've been thoroughly boiled and maybe, just maybe, it's warming our hearts too.

[sodiumsstuff]

a smaller ramble about australian parr hair

to defend my anti-standardisation views about six following my cleves post you can have a lovely ramble about the non-standardisation about the parr hair in sixtralia

for starters vidya makan because i love her

i am so inlove with this hair omg😍 so its two dutch braids and then they get closer as the reach the bottom and connect into one large low ponytail, it features two curved crows each side of the braids and one of the few parr hairs to never be repeated, alongside this its also one some of the only non 3c-4c hairs to include french/dutch braids.

off to the alternates, pre/post covid is relevant for this

(1)to start of with ella burns, it is promotional footage so we dont know who shes meant to play. she is wearing an aragon crown but with a slick back which was a very common non-curly parr hair alternative

(2)shannen seems to be wearing a ponytail which is slicked back and put up by some sort of clip or pinning.

(3)karis oka wears her cleves hair and it looks like thats. her as cleves, but she hadnt worn pants for cleves then and theres no fishnet. i lovelove her crown and hair and i believe it works great for her portrayal of parr.

(1-chiara assetta, 2-shannen alyce-quan 3-karis oka) so just slick/non-slick ponytails. ok!

(1)i love cristinas hair so muchhh it makes parr seem like this bookish(which she is) protestant(in the fighting sense) queen and idk how to explain it but its just so great to me

(2) madeline’s hair is so good imo, her waves add dimension to the ponytail and the crown placement is a choice but the quiff adds some much needed volume to the parr hairs of this era.

this next era is my fav

(1-3)i love georgias hair for parr soso much i love the crown i love the side part i love the quiffs i love the braids it all comes together soso well.

(5-6) i love chiaras hair so much but the front is meh if i could mix the back of her hair with the fromt of georgias i think it might make the best parr hair ever. i think the low ponytail adds this sophisticated quality to parr and the silver highlights do oh so much

(7 & 8) im grouping gabi and thalia because i love the long puff quiff thing across parrs head that they both have. I think the braid is exceptionally good on gabriella and different styles of the braid tend to put me off (no shade aoife) but the crown jewel has to be thalia; her crowns are KILLER (and i mean literally) those spokes are so long but i love the looping knot things at the back of her hair idk how to describe it but its so mesmerising (also on leesa cleves - image at the end) and idk but i love it.

more parrlia bc her crowns are killer and so is her face card

and leesa cleves

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review ch (90)- First pages ONLY.

I skimmed thro ch-89 to know the context of ch-90. it was Cinderella’s play. In this chapter, Kyo says early on, that time has passed since the play & that they are NOW starting their third year in high school. cool.

This part will ONLY focus on the 1st few pages of ch 90 abt (kyo & tohru) & stop before kyo’s memories starts, because the early pages contain:

Tons of new unexplored analysis of (kyo & tohru) characters that unfortunately was intentionally cut & worse! “changed” in the anime.

No space to add kyoko’s story in this post.

Kyoko’s story is full psychologically & socially.. I need to take a deeeeeeep breath before I unpack it. very deeeeep breath!

-Glimpses of Tohru (the silent grieving girl) Subtle Writing of Grief:

Right from the beginning, I hate how much insight into tohru’s grief & weakness as a human being is already there in the first few pages of ch-90 than the entire 3 seasons of the anime! From few pages we have:

Tohru’s seemingly delighted watching a video. Subtly, showcasing tohru’s grieve & paving the path for tohru’s trauma exploration later in the story. Grief is not sth you quickly past, that’s the most tragic misunderstanding of grief. Time will pass, so, you’ll be better & healthier. Really?!. Tohru’s inner desire to see her mom alive manifested in her words: “ like a photo comes to life” T_T.

The story/writing/manga is acknowledging tohru’s heartbreaking & NOT cute habit of talking to her mom’s cold dead photo! In the anime, tohru talks to her a lot in se01 & it’s up to you to see as as “ cute” as all the canon characters do or actually feeling it IS wrong. Kyo’s  “ what would she do if there were a video of her mom”! “ drives the point more abt tohru being a sad grieving human~not the “advice-giving, optimistic angel, & rain-stopping sunshine in the anime.

Tohru telling kyo to NOT catch cold connecting it to se01, ep 9 (haru’s ep) when tohru was afraid that yuki might catch cold & kyo noticed that! so now in se03, they’re dropping this plot altogether within the main anime, for what? we dont even know if this part would be included in whatever “ kyoko’s” spinoff content would be. -_-’.

That’s how you write subtle trauma such as (grief) for a main (female) MC. subtlety is the key. Respect the viewers intelligence & do it.

You don’t have to give her the long speeches or the many focused ep that yuki had. he’s the kind who confront himself inwardly constantly.

You don’t have to showcase drama, confrontation & force the emotions out like you did with kyo. he runs from his trauma & punishes himself.

Tohru buries her feelings! she’s different from both kyo & yuki. So, with her subtle & symbolic scenes are enough!!!The viewers will catch it if you show it, but ignoring it, cutting it & hoping the viewers will magically predict what you cut, is weird. But the anime isn’t even into us predicting nor subtly showing her cuz this tohru is NOT the tohru we have in the anime. How?

Simply cuz there is no kyo’s inner thoughts abt small things such as tohru’s photo obsession which subtly shows her grief & trauma. If kyo didn’t monologue abt her, tohru does not exist as she’s meant to be. You loose the subtle insights into tohru if you cut kyo’s inner thoughts. Not everything kyo thinks abt in regards to tohru is romance!!! That’s a very narrow & superficial look into the writing of kyo/’tohru dynamics. Flip the pages, hmm..cut this kyoru scene here & there cuz we dont want the anime to be only their love story.. But the story itself IS NOT only their love story at all. These pages/scenes here are abt tohru as a PERSON. Not tohru the lover...

- Writing Clashes between manga & anime: (Kyo’s Conscious Gradual Psychological Exploration vs Shock Value & Drama)

In ch 90 i really love all the inner self talking that kyo’s doing. It really explains why he ended up rejecting tohru so strongly. Also, going for a trip into kyo’s mind is hella exciting, new, refreshing & full of analysis-worthy exploration! Kyo’s inner psychological argument with himself is a psychologically-informed presentation of a tried guilty mind:

“ Why can’t I stop thinking of (kyoko’s words) lately? Acknowledging that he IS remembering kyoko & never forgot her. This is also supported in the anime itself. When he apologized to a sleeping tohru in se01, ep14 & se02, ep9 , confronting yuki in the stairs & other instances as well. 

“ It’s like a lid been opened & all the memories came pouring”. Acknowledging that kyo DID open his lid since se02, ep9 byt chose to run & not confront it due to his guilt of ruining tohru’s happiness by confessing his connection to her mom. 

“ pretending I didn’t know, pretending I forgot”. Here is a blatant clash in kyo’s writing (1) between the anime & manga (2) between the anime’s episodes themselves!!. In the manga, again kyo chose to ignore & pretended to forget. Death is NOT sth you forgot. Kyo saw kyoko bleeding & dying.  The anime chose to make him totally forget & it could’ve worked if they didn’t included all the canon moments of him actually remembering & pretending to forget. Is that lazy writing? or was the director for se03 different from se 1 &2 &? chose to NOT watch the two previous seasons? Why would you consciously include a contradicting depiction of your character on screen for thousands of confused viewers? Was the scene of kyo’s shocked gave upon seeing kyoko’s photo that artistically appealing that you forgot everything? I really have NO problem of kyo forgetting kyoko if that was written in the anime since se01, but it wasn't. that's why it sucks. 

“Is this payback? maybe I want to blame ME?” augh! i love this line so much! Directly hinting to the viewers that this is kyo’s one-sided guilt before his story with kyoko even started! subtly paving the path for the reason of his rejection of tohru” I dont want forgiveness. I want to blame ME.

-I don’t mind that the anime left kyo’s thoughts of kyoko until the climax in eo8, cuz ep 8 was SO well-done! Se03, ep 8 pacing was very suitable to (1) uncovering dark secrets & death, trauma, & guilt. (2)  for exploring the effects such secrets on kyo’s character, decisions, mentality. Also, the animation of kyo’s face all ep 8 was one of the most expressive facial expressions the anime has ever delivered! The eyebrows, eyes, mouth, tears, body languages, heartache was all 100% perfect. The fact that the following eps didnt have much time to express everything & chapters were cramped is not ep 8′s fault but the decision to have 13 eps. Kyo’s delayed trauma deserved to have its own ep.

-What I DO mind is the added scene of ep 6 where he freaked out upon seeing kyoko’s picture, the concept of shock is perfect & so suitable for an anime but was NEVER properly written into the anime itself from the beginning. On the contrary, the anime itself contradict such usage of such value. Good job ruining an otherwise perfect-depiction of two traumatized characters (kyo & tohru) with ONE scene.. -_-

Side Notes:

I thought tohru is narrating the 1st page in ch-90, turned it out it is kyo!!!! Kyo narrates sth? Kyo monologues? kyo has a POV? Just the setting of kyo doing that feels different! I duno if it cuz when that happens in the anime it’s always clash & drama! lol, or cuz it’s sth original!

Shigure’s “ it’s broadcasted all over the nation” is epic! XD! you know poor stupid kyo would fall for that! XD. kyo, you really are an idiot! XD... man this scene would’ve been epic comedy~ lol.

Tohru not knowing what a “dvd” is is outdated for the anime, but to still keep the sentiment of “her wishing she’d have a video footage of her mom”, they could’ve replaced her words with “ It’d be fun watching this play years from now & remembering all the details”. I know that to some, it feels weird that tohru doesn't have video footage of her mom in this era. but trust me, this is more common than you might think. My late brother, who’s way younger than me, doesn't have much video footage, he always felt awkward & preferred not to be filmed. We got photos for him tho~

Even if you want kyo’s knowledge of kyoko to be in the climax only. You can always include this scene of tohru & kyo in the first pages in the anime somehow. It doesn't even need to be abt the dvd even tho that’s manageable. Cutting this short scene of them talking abt videos, & catching cold is cutting tohru’s trauma from its core. Then, the old grandpa’s narration from se03, ep6 would at least have some backup in the anime’s canon.

Momiji & shigure are perfect as a comedic duo!

I can’t get over tohru’s art~ <3

Pinning kyo at the beginning is epic~ kyo always gets the BEST romantic lines when he talks to himself. “ burning (tohru’s ) memories into my head or forgetting everything”. The torturing fire inside him is only distinguished by loving her but is also ignited by loving her~ what’s the solution~

[the1312daysofchristmas]

hey dils!! was listening to sunshine riptide and thought of u so i wanted to say i hope ur taking care and also ask if u have any favorite fob videos/interviews?? lately i have been obsessed w the promo video patrick did for the honda civic tour where he drove around LA and said the only reason they got the tour was because he already drove a civic ahsjdbd

first of all it is SO flattering that listening to sunshine riptide made you think of me 🥺

secondly i was molded out of clay to answer this question, 100% i have a lot that i think about like way too often

the one where petes giving a tour of his parents house where he lived at the time and was showing off his stuff and was particularly very excited about the fact that his band was turned into action figures and then half way through andy shows up and is like "were best friends forever!" and petes like "yeah andy comes over for sleepovers a lot, we hang out in my basement and make zines and stuff" and then at the end he gets all excited cuz he hears his moms car pull up and he goes out and shes coming out of the car and then patrick gets out of the car carrying groceries and petes like "here mom me and patrick can put the groceries away you finish the interview" and shes like "no- pete i just got home from work im a mess" and hes like "what? no! no mom you look great, you can finish the interview well take in the groceries" and then she did and the camera crew came back to the two of them messing around and putting groceries away.

"pete wentz is honestly the only way to describe pete wentz. hes the most complicated guy i know." [cut to] "if anyone can make a strike without touching the lane i will pay you $300" *throws bowling balls straight into the air* *runs down the lane*

ok but in all seriousness i love that interview not only for that iconic moment but because later the footage is like blaring i dont care and pete goes and grabs a stuffed giraffe out of the prize thingie and hes like "what do you mean :)? we bought this with our tickets!!" and the editors are very much trying to make it a bad boy rebel without a cause moment except if you looked the woman behind the counter had a smile on her face and was laughing and then afterwards he gave it back and said "we werent really gonna steal it" but it really seemed like she knew that already

and then at a different point a couple fans showed up and they were all shy and excited to meet him and he was just like "hey are you guys coming to the show later" and they were like "yeah" and he was like "cool! thanks for coming out :) do you want a picture?" and they took a picture and it seemed like he was still kinda excited that people were excited to meet him. marcus (their bodyguard) was like trailing behind him and smiling and laughing throughout most of these antics and i just think thats sweet.

later in this same interview once again as they were on the ride back to their hotel or whatever theyd brought back a fake moustache and patrick put it on and did a bunch of dumb impressions.

patrick: if i wasnt doing music i think id be like a music critic or music journalist or something

andy:...i thought you said youd work at walmart

theres this one srar era interview thats just joe and patrick riffing for like 15 minutes. like it looks like they just straight up forgot the interviewer was there its so funny theyre such good friends.

this one joe and pete interview where i dont even really remember what they were talking about but theres a moment where joes talking about music with this intense passion and pete just kinda looks at him with this level of brotherly pride that keeps me going

this one andy and pete interview where 1) there were waterfowl chillin behind them which was deeply fascinating to andy and 2) they took a moment to swivel their chairs and hug each other bc theyre besties

band superlatives, specifically the moment where theyre all separately like "technically marcus isnt in the band but like. its marcus." bc that was sweet, unofficial 5th member of fob. and also "whos the most talented" "patrick. patrick. its patrick, hands down." "hm. petes like a really good soccer player" like thats a moment out of a fucking sitcom

halloween asmr with pete wentz. the man cant act but god can he commit to a bit.

there was this like live text chat that they all were in with fans on some radio station website. there were a lot of very fun moments, including joe saying "this is very current technology." as a comment on how very dated the live chat was and andy being like "can we set an icon i wanna change mine to an XVX" and pete and joe being like "oh are you vegan straight edge? we had no idea." and then pete was like "actually i wanna change my icon to andy hurley" and andy was like "no pete im not gonna send you a picture of me" and he was like :( and then a minute later he changed it to andy and he was like, and i swear this is almost a direct quote "BOOM! i love my life haha" and andy was like "goddammit" like i have no idea where to find this but it was so good.

theres this one "this or that" interview with joe and andy wherein the interviewer was a woman and like she seemed pretty at ease around them and got to the last question and imo seemed kinda uncomfortable and kind of established (in a way that seemed like she didnt usually do that) that it was a gross question, which was "would you have sex with a super hot celebrity but shes just died" and both of them were like "hey. what the fuck. absolutely not." and shes like "oh thats a first" and they are both like "do people say yes to that????????" and shes like "youre literally the first people to say no haha" in a way that made it seem that she did not find it funny and i just find that to be an interesting moment and i hope shes doing well and has a better producer now.

theres this one interview w andy on a hardcore podcast where the interviewer asks andy "do you every wish fall out boy were more political?" and he said (paraphrasing) "fall out boy is political, in its own way. we may not be as explicit with our politics as my other stuff, but kids find fall out boy, and through me, with all my other bands, or through joe, since he does a lot of metal, find heavier stuff, and are introduced to this stuff and to being vegan straight edge or anarchist or just more radical politics, and i dont think that just because we arent being super political in our music we arent a political band" which was really something to me bc i had just been thinking about that as a concept i call "gateway punk"

theres this one interview i recently found of a very small chicago music news outlet where a young lady interviewed pete and asked far more interesting questions than any other interviewer id ever seen and one such question was how he felt about the legalization of marijuana in illinois and he said that it was cool that it was legal but everyone locked up for it right now should be released and i like that he got to be political

theres a moment on the badass jew podcast episode joe was on where the interviewer whomst i do not recall was espousing some veiled antiblack sentiments wrt some antisemitic comments some famous black people had made and joe just completely rebutted it immediately and pointed out that black people not only are not a monolith bht are at a greater disadvantage

and also he made a joke that i could never make and cant fully get bc im not jewish but it was very funny and i love hearing people make jokes that arent for me.

this one interview before patrick had kids where he was saying how everyone kept asking him and elisa when theyd have kids and he was like "you cant just make that happen yknow? how do you just do that?" and pete immediately grinned and leaned over and mock whispered "you have sex" and patrick punched the air and was like "i hate you so much"

that one interview about abap where pete was like "we actually got the guy who did the whistles on patience by guns n roses to do it on this" and then he looks over at patrick and patrick shakes his head and petes like "you couldnt let me have this?" and he was like "i was gonna but then you looked at me and i just couldnt."

"whats the most important thing to you right now?"

patrick: star wars

joe: my daughter.

patrick: ...my son?

the puppy interview. everyone involved including the puppies was having the time of their goddamn life.

i have to stop this is too much its been like an hour

[desire-mona]

good. so basically what's been happening is hes now hosting this game show on amazon prime called "beast games" where people compete for money.

contestants were told that this game would be like the show squid games, and that all of the challenges are going to be fair game between everybody (people of multiple age groups were competing.) what the challenges ACTUALLY were were very physical activity based, and usually relied on speed and strength from what I remember rosanna pansino saying. 

oh yeah rosanna pansino (the girl who did nerdy nummies if u dont know) has been keeping track of this stuff on her tiktok, its worth looking at if you're invested. im paraphrasing a lot of this so definitely go look at her videos for something more eloquently said.

so most of the people that were succeeding in these challenges and had the highest chance of winning a big sum of money were able-bodied people. a lot of those ppl took advantage of that, as well as the fact that a lot of these challenges were unregulated in terms of moderation? like they could get away with a lot and go unscathed, i think it's because after the first challenge thing, the footage of whatever was going on wasn't going to be checked for any foul play or what have you. anyway, they took advantage of their advantage and started knocking down their fellow competitors and using force to win whatever the fuck. a lot of the people who got knocked down were injured, im not sure to what extent, but medically it gets a lot worse than that.

medications were being withheld from competitors, one of which allegedly caused a seizure on the playing field? and it took several minutes for any medical personnel to get to the scene. if i remember correctly, somebody was not allowed a benadryl while they were having an allergic reaction.

food and water was being withheld too, people were being fed at inconsistent times, sometimes more than 12 hours apart if i remember correctly. a lot of what people got fed was not enough nutritionally, i think a lot of it was mr beasts feastable chocolate bars? people had to hoard food because they didn't know the next time they were being fed. the conditions were really fucking bad, and the people that didn't win the games were essentially given hush money before they went home so that they wouldn't talk publicly about that unsafe conditions that they were in. mind you, we aren't talking about a lot of money, we're talking about an initial amount of $1000, and after a large enough amount of people refused to take that money, they raised it to a whopping $2000.

and to top it all off, people weren't properly given the flight home that they were promised on time due to the amount of people that were being flown home. i guess. the flights were delayed by a few days, but a lot of these people had work so that wasnt a viable option. one person that sent their experience to rosanna said that they had to pay for their entire flight home since they had work, they were apparently promised reimbursement money but they have no idea when that will be in their hands.

i feel the need to say that a lot (if not all) of this is alleged to my knowledge, a lot is still being figured out and confirmed so i won't take any chances. 

i think it's cheesy to say something like "i always had a feeling about (youtuber)" but this is one of those cases where i did sort of know ahead of time. tho i may be biased, cuz ive known of him since he used to make cringe compilations of kids' youtube intros back in 2015, drinking bleach jokes, cancer jokes, the like, and i hold a grudge so automatically i didnt like him. around 2019 to 2020-ish is when he started to rise in popularity due to the giving nature of his videos, it started out with him giving big donations to small streamers i think, and it turned into random challenges to win big sums of money. once it turned into a situation of him having people "work" for money (using those quotes very lightly for the era where he did most of this stuff with his friends), i got really uneasy about all of it. i never really said anything because most people would think "whos this asshole calling out the guy curing blindness and putting wells in africa" which i understand, but also (vague pained noise). 

as a rule of thumb, i tend to steer clear of people who make a show of generosity, especially when they make the people work for it.

(In a really quiet voice) does anybody else on here really, really dislike mr beast because hes been getting some shit on tiktok and id like to talk about it 

[nightswithkookmin]

MONDAY, JANUARY 18TH: GOLDY'S LOG

I miss Suga. Scratch that. I miss Agust D. My spirit animal.

I've been thinking about him a lot lately, wondering if his injury isn't an exemption to military service. I wonder if he qualifies, in light of his injury, as an able body. I wonder what their law defines as able body.

I wonder if he passed the legal physical exam and health assessment test when he turned 19, since he's had that injury way before debut. Or if BTS have undergone that mandatory military service assessment since they are all past 19 and what their results are.

Jimin has chronic back pain too. That should qualify him for an exemption to military duty. He can still do desk work if it's that serious.

I should talk to ***** and look into South Korea's law on exemptions to military service.

Moon values the arts and culture industry. There's already been an extension for conscription for the benefit of BTS. Their success and longevity in the spot light perhaps influenced this decision. Should BTS maintain this momentum, an exemption would be inevitable I feel.

I miss them. They've been gone for too long. I'm worried about the impact this is going to have on their popularity if they disconnect from fans for so long or be mechanical about the way they connect with their fans.

I hate the limited access to them. But Scarcity increases the value of a product and it's not surprising if this is the approach BigHit is adopting in the wake of the pandemic.

Limited access not only raises value, it creates demand. Bang PD is a bigbrain marketing genius- I hate it.

They are taking a huge risk with this new marketing strategy. Personally, I'd stick to what works but then I am no marketing guru. Just a consumer who likes to play it safe. I guess I won't be getting hired anytime soon. Fuck.

It's all very fascinating.

What's equally fascinating is the shippers out here on these streets. The Jokers.

I... they confuse the hell out of me sometimes.

How are they going to question my rationality when I talk about moments I feel Jikook are having issues in their relationship or had broken up etc but then have no problem with and even applaud that same rationality when I talk about moments that has led me to believe there is lack of depth in Tae Kook's dynamics or that they are not real by any standard or that another ship in BTS isn't real.

Do I have two minds? Or are they more inclined to be selective in their beliefs based on their biases towards Jikook and against other ships? It's weird.

By the same lens I define Jikook as real, I define Tae Kook or any other ship that includes JK and Jimin as not real. And by that same lens if I feel Jikook aren't together then I'm wrong and irrational?

It really confounds me.

Not sure if they expect me to apply double standards to Jikook in those instances.

I don't think there is right and wrong opinions or perspective when it comes to shipping, but I think if they are right about me being wrong about my perspective on Jikook then I must be wrong about my perspective on any other ship in BTS as well.

I can't be right about one and wrong about another. I'm either right about all or wrong about all.

I can't be 'right' about Tae Kook having 'issues' in their bond in such a way I think it often bars them from fully nurturing their bond and developing depth to it but then be 'wrong' about Jikook also having issues that mess with their bond from time to time when it's the same measurement I use in accessing the depth of bond of both ships.

I really don't understand their way of thinking.

What is right and what is wrong and who decides on that?

I think we ought to substitute right and wrong with 'believe and believable.' The approach to such discourse should be about what one is willing to believe or not believe about certain discussions: I believe this. I don't believe that. Because believes stem from our personal biases towards a subject.

And the people that come running to me with 'look, Jikook smiled at each other in On era so change your mind'

I would except I hear this debate all the time. I wonder if they realize they sound exactly like the Tuktukkers in my DMs trying to convince me Tae Kook is real.

'Look Tae sat on JK's laps! How can you say there is no depth to Tae kook' ' He squished JK's cheeks' 'Jk said he wants to ride with Tae, if there was no depth why did he say he wanted to ride with him'

I have a feeling Soft Koo is back. The days of Terminator JK might be over. Too bad, I liked terminator JK. He was a bad ass.

I like that he is experimenting with his looks. But I'm glad his Ravi-esque phase is over. I wonder who he is drawing inspiration from this time. He reminds me of Jimin though. There is something peaceful and serene about his looks.

Can't really tell much because Bighit is sitting on tons of footages. I think I need to send a truck to Bang PD HQ.

I don't like that Jimin posted a Vhopemin photo for Tae's birthday. It was cute and all but I don't like it. That shit felt passive aggressive as fuxk. Lmho. What, he didn't have a V or Vmin photo in his gallery? Sounds like someone didn't put much effort in their VMin agenda for this post.

I wonder if he will keep the same energy come JK's birthday. I mean both him and Tae didn't post for him💀

May be I'm reaching on this one. But a single post where V was not even the focus of the post... I think his birthday means a lot to him and he enjoys when people shower him with love and attention and I don't think his birthday is an exception.

And he kept reiterating after such said birthday how he recently discovered he loves to be loved and how he does most of the things he does in order to be loved by his fans, friends and family.

And it breaks my heart that, the headlines read BTS shower X, Y with love on his birthday but the two people close to him were missing from that list this time. The media talks about BTS posting for eachother as them showering eachother with love. Certainly they all know this.

And the fact Jin posted for Tae after Tae's birthday says a lot about Tae and JK. Tae had no intention of posting perhaps because he left JM a message on the packages. With Jin I feel he was overcompensating for not posting for him on his birthday...

JK gets a pass. If JM wasn't happy about him not posting for his birthday, he would have pulled a Jin.

Jimin talking about coming to the realization he loves to be loved makes me think JK withholding his affections openly made him come to the realization he loves to be loved. Just a hunch. And the only reason JK would withhold his affections is if Jimin himself estopps him. Those two give me headaches.

I think I got the closure I needed from this.

LESSON: dont get on JM's bad side and bloody post for his birthday 💀

Tae been releasing photos of Jimin and Jhope a lot lately. Not sure how that makes me feel either. I think it's beautiful. But when I think about all these beautiful photos he has of Jimin on his phone and how generous he is with them- I think they would have been more meaningful had he released it on JM's birthday. The snow photo he posted still sits in my Vmin heart somewhere.

I really don't like this not posting for each other's birthday business. It's 2021. They need to cut it out.

I feel JK set a bad precedent but personal happiness first so good for him.

This moment haunts me for some reason.

What was going through V's head. I want to know. RM looks done. Lol.

Jimin is really beautiful. I love his eyes when he smiles and the thing he does with his shoulders.

Some people complain I write a lot. Some say I don't write enough. Ayayayai!!!!!!

What to do.

I think I accidentally deleted a post.

I'm looking forward to JKK1. Stay Gold, Still with you, Your eyes tell... I hope he hasn't given his best away cos those were bops.

PJM1... oh God I'm nervous. I'm excited for it but nervous. I think Serendipity is a classic. The Christmas song was equally great and frankly the only good Christmas Ive heard so far and I don't even like Christmas- nothing against Baby Jesus I just think it sucks. That bridge in Dis-ease is something.

I want to read his thoughts. His spotify playlist is insightful but I want to confirm if he really sees himself as a mess who is always causing his lover grief.

I mean he did say he has realized he needs to be considerate towards those that love him. Not sure yet the connection there.

I want to read his thoughts.

PJM1....

I love JHOPE. I think his ship with Jimin is beautiful and healing. They make my insides warm. Not sure if their shippers think they are real. Do they? That would be awkward.

I think RM and Jimin need to spend time together... it would be good for them.

Jimin and Sungwoon shippers are alleging Jimin has been staying with Sungwoon all this while. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

But the bit about him living with Sungwoon before the start of Bon V 4 has me🤔

Around that period, I don't believe JM was at the dorms and Jikook were not together then too. He must have been staying somewhere...

I'll let them have that.

But around November 2019 when he was having issues with JK he was staying with Tae too so no I don't think that means Sungwoon is queer or that Jimin is sleeping with him💀

They need to get out of their imaginations.

I think Jikook will drive me crazy one day.

I can feel my cranium swelling.

JiRose shippers need to pack it up. They really think Jimin is straight? 💀

It's the bad editing for me.

That doesn't look like a straight face to me. Unless his butt was on fire and he was uncomfortable looking at that black interviewer, I think that's his flirting face.

Lately I've been thinking about what ifs.

What if Jikook is not real?

I wish I believed that.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[jedivszombie]

HI! For f1 asks - 5 (+9 if you could give me some recs), 12, 13, 23, 28, 32, 33 sorry if its kinda a lot you dont have to answer all of them!!!

HI ANONYMOOSE! Thank you for the ask, I hope you see my answers and I apologise for replying a few days late! I once again ended up writing essays so you will find my answers under the cut! I hope you enjoy them!

it’s hump day: let’s talk about F1 baybee

5. Are there any movies or documentaries you would recommend to understand F1 better?

So I actually have not watched loads of F1 films or documentaries but I have watched a few that I think give an interesting and varied perspective on some things. 

Grand Prix (1966), this is a film and a very good film at that! It has a lot of drivers from that era who make cameos and comprise the background drivers - so it’s really cool to see them. The story is interesting and the direction and cinematography is top notch! It gives you a really good idea of what older cars and circuits and safety used to be like, albeit in a dramatised way. There are also a lot of nods to how teams like Ferrari etc used to be at the time. 

Race to Perfection (2020), this is a recent documentary mini series that is made up of a bunch of different episodes that cover different aspects of F1 and its history. There’s stuff about how the cars have developed since the 50s, there’s episodes about Schumi and Ayrton and all sorts. Also a lot of ex drivers and people who were involved with teams are interviewed so it’s interesting to hear from them about how situations unfolded or to reflect on some of their glory days. It is worth mentioning though that some of the people being interviewed have a vested interest in coming across a certain way (I’m looking at you Ron), or are choosing to remember things in a certain way. BUT it’s a great starting point for a good overview of different aspects of the sport and how it has evolved. 

Grand Prix Driver (2018), is a really good insight to McLaren starting to rebuild under Zak Brown. It follows Fernando and Stoffel during the 2017 season and gives some interesting insight to how one of the most successful and well known teams in the sport started to change their image and rebuild to how we know them now. 

I would also recommend trying to watch as many Ted’s Notebooks and Weekend Debriefs as you can find - Ted Kravitz hosts both of these shows and they cover a lot of interesting aspects from races that have happened and explain a lot of technical and complex concepts in a really accessible way. They talk about the drivers abilities, the way the cars are developing, the politics of the sport and other very interesting and key aspects of F1 to be aware of if you would like a broader understanding of the sport outside of just the racing and drivers personalities. 

There are definitely loads more documentaries and things you can watch but these are the ones I have personally watched and enjoyed. I have a few more on my list that I would like to watch, such as Grand Prix: The Killer Years and the McLaren doc about Bruce McLaren. 

9. Could you recommend anyone?

I think this is related to F1 YouTubers? I pretty much only follow Chainbear on YouTube in terms of F1 YouTubers. Out of Context F1 has a lot of good little clips and snippets of older footage from drivers - a lot of it is more on the meme side/funnier side but there are sometimes interesting clips from interviews there as well. 

The other F1 YouTube content I look at is the team’s socials or the stuff from F1 itself and older interviews/features with drivers etc that I can find. 

12. Which was the first driver you supported?

The first driver I supported was Schumi - my Dad is a MASSIVE Schumi fan and I have been watching since I was very very small and Schumi was very much involved and on a climb upwards. 

The first driver I actually chose to support myself was Fernando Alonso, it was my minor act of rebellion when I was a child. I still loved Schumi of course but for some reason I latched onto my man Flonso. I also absolutely loved Jenson too, but again so did my entire family. But those are the first three that I supported and remember supporting. 

13. Which was the first team you supported?

Ferrari baybee! Once you’re in, you can never leave!

The first team I chose to support was BAR Honda though - thank u Jenson.

23. Is there a driver that you think is underrated?

I have written a very long answer to this question here. 

28. Do you have a least favourite team? Which one and why?

Yes I do have a least favourite team. Red Bull is my least favourite team. I mean no shade to the engineers and mechanics and people working for the team because they are doing their jobs and doing their best. BUT I do not like their management in the slightest my god. I could rant about Red Bull for days but my main issue is the extremely toxic duo of Christian Horner and Helmut Marko. A lot of people talk extensively about the long list of Red Bull Juniors they have fucked over or passed over for the next big thing or not given proper chances to or actively fucked over (e.g. Buemi, Hartley, Sainz Jr, Gasly, Albon). But really you only have to look at the insane treatment that Jean-Eric Vergne and Daniil Kvyat endured during their time there. JEV was hospitalised trying to keep his weight down. Marko actively trashed him in the press and said he was lazy. There were jokes and comments about Daniil being on ‘shoelace watch’ after his demotion from Red Bull. Sure, if they drop you from the F1 team they will usually still sponsor you in your other series or help you find somewhere to land or even keep you on as a development/test/sim driver but at what cost? 

I know it’s F1 and I know the sport is brutal and to an extent there is always someone getting fucked over in teams or by the sport. I don’t expect drivers to be coddled but I do think more should be discussed about drivers mental health and the ways in which teams either help or do not help with that. Personally I would rather the guys behind the wheels of the super fast cars are actually feeling comfortable in their position in the sport and not super desperate because that’s hella dangerous for them and everyone else on track. BUT with Red Bull it’s more than a worrying pattern, it speaks to an entire culture and is downright neglectful at best and abusive at worst. 

Also fuck Haas, they fall under a similar toxic culture from management in my opinion. 

32. Which one is your favourite team principle and why?

I wrote my answer out in a previous ask here.

But I also just wanna do an honourable shout out to my man Franz Tost, he’s been putting in the work with the Red Bull Juniors and managing to nurture quite a few of them to success over the past decade and keeping a rather chaotic ship running - sure he’s not perfect but he’s been doing a pretty dope job, their treatment of Daniil aside.

33. Do you have a favourite team principle duo or ship?

I also answered this question here.

[specialpotforinstantnoodles]

polygon is no longer interested in multi-hosted series

(and havent been for a while)

and here s a funky graph i made to illustrate my point

so i m not @starrrskeleton to operate statistics and numbers properly or @pygmypouters to make an in-depth analysis and it s also 5 am and i m manic but i wondered if the decreasing amount of co-hosted (or multi-hosted? is this even a word or did i just made this up) videos could be somehow connected to mcelroys’ leave and well. apparently yeah. it is. directly.

illustrated explanation, predictions on why there probably wont be any more co-hosted series and a bit of weeping - under the cut

so here s the graph. it s kinda wanky but again, i m a dumbass and should be asleep. i took a timeframe from 01/jan/2017 to 05/jun/2019 and listed every single series they had on their youtube channel that had 2+ hosts or permanent participants (so things like ‘unraveled’ and ‘seo play’ are excluded). also, please note, this list includes series with no footage (like ‘yakuza 0 to 60′ where allegra and phil narrate videogame footage) but excludes podcasts with no background video (such as ‘the besties’). // p.s. this is heavily based on info gathered by @whales-are-gay (which, i assume, was a tremendous work, so thank you!!) p.p.s. i forgot to put the polygon show anywhere cause i m a fool

and well? i dont even have much to say, really. the latest launched youtube series that has more than one host is fucking gill&gilbert season 2 and that was almost 10 months ago. making monster factory (that is hosted exclusively by justin and griffin) and overboard the only ongoing series that allow any on screen interaction at all. 

if you arent deeply upset already (i am) here is some more stuff. lets take a look at polygon youtube channel circa march-april 2018, right before mcelroys’ announced their departure:

so here s 24 videos. i went through all of them. some are podcasts like polygon show, some are livestreams with or without on-screen presence, some are just narrated game footage. but do you know how many of those vids are hosted/narrated by only one person? 2. out of 24. that s 92% joint content, by the way, we’ll need that funky number later.

now lets grab some post-mcelroys numbers, shall we? starting from 21/jun/2018 (why this day? 1. that’s almost exactly a year counting from today and 2. that’s the first video polygon posted after E3 2018 era) and up to this day (05/jun/2019) polygon has released 114 videos. here s a quick breakdown: 2+ hosts/participants: - 6 jackbox vids - 6 monster factory vids - 5 overboard vids - 4 brand slam vids  - 1 awful squad vid - ‘the perfect pokerap’ (that okay, i ll count for interpretive dancing) - and 4 co-hosted vids that do not belong to any of the polygon’s youtube series total: 27 videos other: - 6 non-narrated videos - 10 interviews/guest videos - ‘gaming’s best relationships’ that has a bunch of people that dont interact in any way - and finally, the remaining: 70 vids that have only 1 host/narrator that’s 23,5% multi-hosted content. as compared to 92% of the bit above. ‘but that s fucking unfair, andy, your 2018 sample included livestreams and podcasts and what not!’ i hear you say. well, that’s fair. polygon stopped including such content on their channel in 2019, moving it to twitch. but, here s a thing: polygon doesnt bother uploading those streams anywhere. as far as i’ m concerned, they are as good as gone. and, let s be real, even if you count the (now quite occasional) livestreams (which i cannot do accurately, they are, um, still gone) - the numbers wont differ that much. 

after mcelroys left, polygon rebranded and took a new direction in which it keeps drifting off and off, away from the beloved content of late 2017 - early 2018. to speculate a bit: if nothing changes (investors and ceos wise) - it will proceed as that, no new joint series will be announced, monster factory and overboard will be cancelled eventually as well. alas. and why exactly this sucks? well. first of all, because it does. i dont know about you, but i m here for a cool decent human with great nail polish and even greater sense of humour interacting with another very cool and very funny human being, telling jokes, doing bits, making goofs and what not. second of all, i believe that a fandom is a very important thing. and fandom support can be compared to financial support from the investors, if you just think about it only money-wise. if polygon decides that short under 10 min vids, professional journalism 1-host vids for broad audience is what they want to do is okay, but if it s only what they want to do - it might destroy them as polygon and turn them into new IGN or The Rolling Stone’s gaming branch or whatever. and there s plenty of that shit in the sea and honestly? i m not interested.

i m not good at conclusions so here s a quite by justin while he was still working at polygon:

"We want to focus on the human side of development, and focus things on people. I want people to feel the respect that we feel for them," says McElroy. "I think most video game websites have gone for that very narrow sliver of people for whom gaming is their main hobby. I think that's awesome, but there are other people who like video games, but have other interests, so those websites don't serve them. I think they want to see how gaming can dovetail with their other interests."

[renfacekillah]

Bake & Destroy >>>>> Baker 4

REwatched Bake & Destroy and looking back that video was insane. A lot of people kinda hated on the Post-Chicken Bone Era of Baker but I personally thought it was dope. Strong crew, fresh new Ams that were goin for it, Sum established Pros still doin shit and it honestly set Baker up for a strong transition into the current era but they kinda back tracked abit sooo into the RE-review.

-Video opens up with Baker vibe hijinx, Big Money, Big Cars, Who dafuq u think we are? 

-Riley Hawk got opener at the time honestly I was just kinda like whatevs about it I think everyone was kinda on the hater wagon cuz hes Tony’s son, I dont think he won me over til Shep Dawgs 4 maybe but daaaaaamn I was sleep sleep. He does sum insane shit in this part, I did a re-edit of it and I still some how forgot how crazy some of the stuff he did in it is, and the part was super versatile. I think cuz hes such a mellow dude and dont say much people call him boring but his skills speak for themselves.

-Herman got 2nd part, pretty chill part when it came out I was bummed it wasn’t a full part but its got gems in it, I forgot Herman had a proper frontside flip his section is actually pretty well rounded tbh it honestly has everything needed to be a definitive part and considering the time he had to produce for it, is nuts tbh. Mike White cuts in half way (remember him) he has tall guy steez, stomps his tricks a little similar to Figgs style but without the killing himself after taste. I used to be bummed he didn’t get fully on but apparently he was an older dude and more of Shane’s homie or summn? I duno, part closes out with Herm goin big. Classic

-Bossman got a strong part, no song, it kinda has sort of a “This is what I do” kinda vibe. Guest tricks from Ellington, Grecs & Neen. Not really a long part but sum bangers torwards the end.

-MONTAGE 1: TK got a lil section this kinda bummed me out cuz I was like “damn, I want a FULL TK part, where all your footage bruh?” still sum gems tho. Lenoce got a lil section too BUT his Shake Junt part was crazy so he gets a pass STILL has sum crazy shit in this tho, Beagle is Beagle, firecrackers and mannys, Theotis had sum gems again he had a full Shake Junt Part and Nike Part out around this time so he got a pass. Soooo where all TK footy at? Luv the nigga but damn.

-Shane Heyl, I remember when he turned pro people hated and I there was mad pressure on him to deliver a solid part and most folk were pretty dismissive of this part when it came out but damn looking at it now, Shane’s ledge game is actually pretty wild, his consistency in lines is crazy too. I don’t think that Shane sucks I just think that the people he skates with are so talented that it makes him look average but in actuality the level he skated at, at his age was crazy.

-DEE! I remember watching that “Who smells worst” tour vid Baker & Deathwish did and was like “Yo who is that kid?” Watched sum of his FU CRUE vids and was impressed I thought he was the next BAKER star cuz on the real Dee skates shit thats as Scary as the shit Figgy skates but hes a smaller dude, his hair flies in his face all the time so there was the crazy level of hype he had to me. This part pretty much delivered as his first Baker part, lil country boy skates big scary shit. I was bummed he got axed from Baker after being pro for a lil bit I still think he deserves a spot over most the current Baker roster.

-MONTAGE 2: Spanky has sum good tricks and hijinx antics, I forgot he lost his board and shoes around this time, Dollin pops up and I remember first time I saw this I was disappointed he aint have a full part but then I remember he has ender in the Shake Junt vid soooo he gets a pass, Neckface got sum tricks, Brayden has sum good ass tricks, I forgot he lost his board and shoes around this time as well, but I feel like if he coulda pulled together more footage he coulda had a solid ass part on his own.

-Nuge & Baca got a shared part which was expected since I think Vol. 4 started around this time, maybe? Fun part overall but it made me wonder, has Nuge ever had a full part since being on Baker? Its weird cuz I know he had more footage than Baca that coulda stood on its own as solid yet short part but still.

-CYRIL KILLA! Man this part was crazy. I feel like in the black guy pantheon of skaters Cyril dont get enough credit cuz for like 3 to 4 years straight he was just murdering almost every spot in Cali, it not just stairs but like everything. Ishod kinda stole his shine around that time but yeah CJ is another dude who got let go from Baker too soon.

-FIGGY! He had a lot to prove, he went pro right after Stay Gold and he had shared part in the Shake Junt video. Some people called him a rich kid that acted bummy or questioned if his hesh grunge style was authentic but maaaaan this part was crazy beginning to end, he really did get robbed of SOTY that year. Like this part still 8 years later is mind blowing.

-Rest of the vid is sum fun hijinx and left overs

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 5

LAST TIME ON SINGY WINGY

ANGRY GREMLIN BEAT UP GOOD BY SUICIDE MOVE SURVIVE BLUE BIRD YES. BLUE BIRD GO TO HOSPITAL FOR WATER METAPHOR WITH AFTERLIFE GIRLFRIEND. TINY BIRD SAD, BUT THEN NOT GET SAD! JACKIE CHAN TIME AFTER MUCH THINKING. WIFE WORRIED ABOUT THINGS. SOMETHING SOMETHING PUNCH GOOD NOW.

Let us continue.

Miku wakes up to see her wife has run off yet again. This is the part of the Sam Reimi’s Spiderman franchise phase where the Mary Jane (not weed) begins having a rockier relationship with Peter Parker (not slang for penis) due to lack of availability.

It’s contrived.

It’s almost impressive that she left a note and had time to draw a tiny Hibiki saying something in a bubble. Glad to see you have your priorities straight, Hibiki.

“you know she might have had a better time in the local art school that doodle aint half bad”

Hibiki is motherfucking Rocky all up in this.

She’s going to kick some ass and nobody’s getting in the way.

“YOU’RE GONNA EAT LIGHTING AND YOU’RE GONNA CRRRRRAP THUNDER TACHIBANAAAAA”

“THAT’S A DIET I CAN GET BEHIND”

I wasn’t joking when I said she’s not fucking around anymore. Did you think I was joking? I can see how you can get the impression given the first few episodes, but I really can’t emphasize the thoroughness of the ass kicking she is going to be capable of.

“MY FATHERLY ENERGIES ARE WORKING! ADOPTERS ANONYMOUS WAS WRONG AFTER ALL!”

That’s totally not ominous in the slightest.

Meanwhile, in the middle of an unnamed McMansion in the middle of who knows where...

Gratuitously spoken English is heard. To be fair, it’s actually really impressive pronunciation coming from people whose native language are systemically different to ours. Most shows would just settle for “this dude is actually speaking english but everything is said in japanese for better interpretation” but not Symphogear! No siree!

Relic business is afoot.

We have a random blonde lady shooting random Noise from the thing The Gremlin had in her hands.

She’s really trying her best with her accent. She’s also casually shooting Noise because let’s face it, would we not do the same if it were in our hands?

“i do whatever i want with my big stiff rod pal”

Also, she’s a nudist. To also be fair, if you lived in a fuckoff rich McMansion with weapons beyond your comprehension, you likely couldn’t help but walk around naked doing whatever the fuck you want.

The people she’s talking to are the Americans, which we explained before are portrayed strictly in an antagonistic light. They want some relics, and this lady clearly deals them like like some sort of glorified drug dealer.

Suffice it to say, she’s not a very nice person.

Also, the subs don’t match what they’re saying in English in the slightest.

The name of this woman... is Fine (pronounced fi-neh). And she is the main antagonist of this series.

Fucking identical.

And here is the most unpleasant scene in the entire season.

The person we’ve repeatedly alluded to as The Gremlin is called Yukine Chris. She serves Fine in whatever the hell they’re up to right now. In this case, it’s using the Nehushtan armor to run around with Solomon’s Cane to throw Noise around the city.

“shits gonna get real abusive, pal”

Fine is a narcissistic sociopath. She’s manipulated Chris into servitude by believing she is the only one that can pave humanity into salvation.

“i dont like that smile”

Chris thinks Fine can secure her deepest wish. Ironically? It’s world peace.

“yeah! yeah yeah, world peace, yeah, totally. just treat me like jesus and we’re gucci”

Anyway, she proceeds to thoroughly shock Chris.

The lore behind this is that this is helping her resistance with dealing with the physical demands of the Nehushtan armor, as well as deal with the pieces of Nehushtan that may be still inside. Let’s be real, though. Fine’s a sadist, and just likes hurting people willy nilly.

“fuck... that hurt like shit... hey wait... wouldnt some of the electrical arcs hit you and shock you too, given you’re so naked and close to all this...?”

“ya nevermind that food looks real nice and i want a piece of that fuckin turkey”

It’s a real creepy scene, and it cements Fine’s horribleness really well. One of the most pivotal things to take note is that Fine says that people can only communicate with each other universally through pain. Strong, terrible BDSM overtones notwithstanding, this will be a common (though varying in quality) motif of the entire series.

“BITCH YOU THOUGHT WE WAS GUNNA EAT AFTER THAT FUCKIN’ WISECRACK ABOUT GETTING SHOCKED LIKE YOU’RE EVEN FUCKIN’ NIKOLAI TESLA ALL UP IN HERE WE’RE GONNA ELECTRIC SLIDE YOUR ASS TO NEXT WEEK”

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK”

“WHERE THE FUUUUUUUCK IS HIBIKI?!”

“i was gonna invite her to the circus with the rest of the class ‘cause i felt bad about how i treated her but i guess she’s not here”

“the only clown im interested in is hibiki, in the carnival tent of my own bedroom”

“isn’t being a part of /fit/ great, hibiki? can you just feel the gains?”

“yeah who needs doting wife based significant others when you have your gym bros, right newly acquired father figure?”

Hibiki, having acquired a new brain cell during her training, asks the million dollar question:

“Why the fuck are we relying on schoolgirls to deal with all this stuff?”

“anime just be that way, hibiki. i’m just the wrong protagonist in the wrong show.”

Japan is super big on keeping the Symphogear a secret because they are strong and the world really, really wants a slice of the Symphogear pie. These people are basically walking super-weapons. Tsubasa literally dropped a sword the size of a skyscraper. It’s like the premise of the series of Iron Man films.

“do i get like a superhero name too or”

Something to wrap your head around. This was released around 2012, and while the setting seems to be slightly more futuristic, the world it was made in at the time had not been through the era of social media/smartphones we have right now. It was on the cusp of doing so, which means the idea of decent (yet vertical) amateur footage of things happening wasn’t something in the mainstream yet. Why do I say this?

Because in Symphogear, the fact that Symphogear exist is the biggest open secret in this unidentified city ever. NDAs are passed like hotcakes to keep people’s mouths shut on seeing monster-fighting singing superheroes. And they sing, too! Symphogears as an entity are the most high-profile fighting agents out there. Bright colors, no masks, constant singing, fighting in broad daylight in populated areas. Everybody knows, but no one says a word.

Which means every politician on the face of Japan hates these idiots, but they’re stuck with them out of sheer necessity.

“i swear to god if you bring up sam reimi’s spiderman one more goddamned time”

“look it’s the truth, all anime comes back to sam reimi’s spiderman. fate zero did it. uhhh, fucking...baccano, probably? now us. face it. its pretty much the bible.”

It’s also pointed out that the very concept of a Symphogear is born from a science that didn’t exist, and it probably contributes to political frustration as well.

“im going to microwave all your sam reimi spiderman dvds. im gonna do it. you try me, motherfucker. i didnt go into acting and get into this position to hear lectures about a decades old film franchise nobody cares about anymore.”

“can we stop fighting about the validity of sam reimi’s spiderman for five seconds and get back to helping me thing of a dope as hell superhero name? now, lemme lay one on you: Mister Fister”

Hibiki asks where Code Ryoko is.

“any answer besides Not Here works”

“oh, she left to talk to the americans, why?”

“huh, shes sorta late, actually”

“WHY A BAD BITCH LIKE ME GOTTA GET STUCK IN TRAFFIC LIKE THIS”

In the mother of all Mom Vans, no less.

MEANWHILE... IN METAPHOR LIMBO...

Tsubasa has reached the sea floor of the water metaphor dimension surrounded by water, which is her feelings, which are very gay. Imagine the Mariana Trench but like, deeper. Way deeper. That’s where Tsubasa is.

Leave it to Kazanari “I am literally a sword” Tsubasa to successfully spin the very act of surviving a suicidal move during combat as a failure. That’s a special kind of self loathing right there.

“the sheer force of my love for big ladies is keeping me alive”

Tsubasa asks about the point of Kanade’s sacrifice. Why’d she do it? Why was she so hungry at the end?

She personally shows up to answer that question, because that’s Kanade for you.

“being badass is cool, but you know whats cooler? caring.”

“sharing the sauce... you... you shared the sauce...”

“thats right, tsubasa. i wanted to protect the sauce, but... ultimately... sharing it was better. it wasn’t my sauce, tsubasa. it was everyone’s...”

“im gonna suck on a ketchup packet in your memory, tsubasa”

Kanade’s spirit pulls her out of the dimension of water metaphors as she is slowly undrowning from her emotions.

Tsubasa, like Kanade, was lost in the sauce. But now, after Kanade’s touching peptalk, Tsubasa is lost no longer.

“will i ever see you again in my dreams, kanade...?”

“where there’s a sauce. i’ll be there.”

“ill eat taco bell every day just to see you again kanade”

“and i dont even like taco bell... im more of a chipotle girl...”

After accepting Taco Bell as her lord and savior, she is immediately pulled out of the metaphor zone.

And wakes the fuck up.

“b..... b..... b............”

“Baja Blast....”

[rwbyconversations]

Chapter 11 post-watch thoughts

New song new hype, but I don’t like it as fast as I liked the earlier stuff this year. I caught “Mirror mirror” in the lyrics so I’m gonna guess it’s Weiss’s new tune or V6′s answer to BMBLB except for White Rose.

Mech fight was decent if a bit sluggish, bit takeaway was getting to see Ren do something, that was nice to see for the first time in three years. Ruby’s Rules of Nature moment was also hype as fuck. 

Adam vs Blake tree fight was pretty damn fast in contrast.

RIP anyone who thought Adam was a SEW, thumbs down @ “he blind.” Honestly kinda shocked his eyes are blue. 

Yang vs Adam was insane, V6 has another grand fight under its belt. A lot of it does look like it came from the test footage that’s been cropping up since RTX this year (and it explains why RT have been so fast in cracking down on copies of where they can find it). If I knew how to make GIFs I’d definitely make some comparing the test fight and the real deal. 

(also man I just have to say how baller this would have been to watch if CRWBY hadn’t spoiled Adam’s face and Yang’s arrival in the CRWBY episode last week. Great job guys, your QA team’s really earning their 401K)

Overall good, but still too short. This time last year we got Weiss being stabbed, this time this year we got Yang’s best fight in the Maya era. No real complaints from me this week, just that the mech fight felt slow.  

[harrysdimples]

you need to calm down song review

bear in mind: it’s currently just gone 7am so I am still slightly half asleep so opinions may change slightly once i’ve woken up a bit more

ALSO A DISCLAIMER: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE WITH MY OPINIONS JUST BECAUSE I SAID THEM, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINIONS JUST AS I AM TO MINE. DONT SEND ME HATE HOWEVER JUST BECAUSE YOU DISAGREE

can I just say, i’m aware that (at least i’m hoping anyway) the cover is supposed to be tongue in cheek and poking fun at white trash stereotypes but....idk man......😬

I actually like the production on this track a lot. it’s pretty fresh and miles away from ME! in terms of its quality and relevance.

the opening lines are fabulous lmfao see THIS is the type of stuff that she should’ve included in ME!, because this song shows that you can have a positive message but still have good lyricism with it, otherwise it just sounds childish and that was the problem with ME! for me

“and i’m just like, hey, are you okay?” amazing

the prechorus is serving me katy’s never really over chorus realness with how fast the lyrics are being sung looool but I don’t mind it that much, it fits in with the overall theme of the song

the “snakes and stones” line sounds cool but idk....it seems a little...late? idk if that’s the correct word to use but I could’ve done without a reference to rep & that whole era. it takes me out of the song I bit I think bc it suffers from the same issue some of the songs on rep did where instead of going for the full narrative in those songs (idsb, dbm, tiwwchnt) she retreats slightly to prop herself in a certain role that I don’t necessarily agree with.

the chorus is.....meh? I like the ad-lib ohs in the background (and shows off the good production in this song) but the actual lyrical content is a bit meh. the step on my gowns feels slightly out of place for me

is the you could be glad bit supposed to be GLAAD? because the lyric video just shows it as glad, so I am confusion™️ because I don’t think it really works if she’s not referencing the organisation lol

I appreciate her singing about homophobia and pride parades etc, I really genuinely do, because i’ve grown up with taylor and her music has something i’ve evolved with, but I can’t help but feel a bit weird about that whole verse.

the scream about people you hate bit was fab though lol

“cause shade never made anybody less gay” this was footage of my reaction when first hearing that line:

I don’t really know how I feel about taylor singing that line. I know there’s obviously speculation from multiple groups of people in her fandom that she might be gay/bi (i’m ignoring kaylors because they’re just like larries) so I definitely don’t want to invalidate that possibility, it just feels a little “look gay people1! I know you too1! yas mawma sis gurl spill the tea and clock the mug YAAAAAS1!” for me for it to feel like it’s a 100% organic line and especially during pride month...i’d feel weird if she profits off of this song and makes merch or whatever that benefits her rather than giving back to the community as a straight woman (that she’s publicly stated, that could obviously change)

if you listen to the song with earphones like I am rn, the oh oh bit goes between the two ears which is cool and me like the cool things lol.

this song has a good message and I appreciate that in a time where a lot of pop music has the subject matter of mental health issues &/or suicide & people are looking to pop stars like taylor for guidance and an escape

the song is clearly shorter to appeal to the streaming era which idk how I feel about it, she’s getting her coin and streams etc and good for her! I just feel like the song would feel more rounded and complete if there was a full bridge with it, but maybe she felt people might find it too repetitive otherwise, I don’t know.

it’s definitely WAY better than ME! in my opinion (and I still don’t really understand why that was their lead single) and I think once I hear it a few more times i’ll vibe to a bit more despite some of the issues I have with it. we shall see! now we wait until august for the lover album.

[tumblunni]

I had a really weird dream involving Dr Maddiman. Its a shame i can barely remember any of it and also it seems i woke up before it ended? Like i just had this overwhelming sense that allll the plot threads were gonna be wrapped up any second now and then BOOM awake. So just a whole bunch of random stuff happened with no real explanation at all.

It was some sort of post apocolyptic setting i think? Humanity was in these small isolated cities fighting against some sort of invading army but we never actually saw the aliens themselves. And some part of my brain was like "it makes sense its the same rules as a hairdresser and the design takes cues from a pack of AAA batteries". I have NO idea what that means! So basically everythibg was super vague and undescribed and dream-me just had a sense of already being a long time fan of this series and knowing enough to fill in the gaps. Apparantoy this was some sort of adaptation of a thing id already seen, but id been told the ending was different and more accurate to the manga? Also i wasnt actually a person watching this show i was still the protagonist of the show yet i acted like i'd been reincarnated and relived this week a million times or something

ANYWAY the way dr maddiman comes in is that he was some sort of 'brilliant but dangerous' expert the government had hired to help our fight against the aliens. It wasnt really explained why he was.. yknow.. maddiman. Like is this meant to be that ghosts also exist in this sci fi universe? Was he a half alien hybrid instead of a yokai? Was it just human maddiman with the personality of yokai maddiman due to ptsd...? In any case he didnt seem entirely tethered to the laws of reality and nobody knew exactly how he pulled off all his scientific miracles. He was treated as the only guy who could understand the mindset of the aliens, but that also made him dangerous because he trapped in the delusion of everything being okay and fun and happy and he often did evil things by accident while having good intentions. But they didnt have anyone else who'd cracked the code of the alien weaponry so they had to put up with him. He was just sorta assigned a crack team of secret agents whose job was Be The Old Man's Friend So We Dont All Die. Dont let him realise how the world is all destroyed and such, just play along with his goofyness and try and remind him to do his important work while dancing around why its important. it was super creepy how he was locked up and gaslighted like this!! And he was all 'oh im sure when im done with my ultimate experiment i can go home to my wife and kids' and yeah it was implied here that the same backstory applied :( 'distract the old man and validate his false opinion that his family is still alive and waiting for him' :( poor sci fi madds :(

Oh also for some reason he seemed to be wearing elements of Adventure era Dr Eggman's outfit? But just the general style of the coat and the wearing goggles that he never actually uses. And he had a very warm and cuddly autumnal colourscheme

Anyway i was part of the Super Secret Grampa Cherishing Division whose job was to act as his assistant but also secretly be packing a bazillion weapons to neutralize him if he poses a danger to humanity. But i started to genuinely care for the guy and question the 'any atrocity is permitted for the sake of saving the world' philosophy of my bosses. Also it was just very weird how it was this post apocolypse alien fighting action thing yet i didnt see ANY OF IT cos this story was confined to this one laboratory. It was surreal hearing about all this stuff happening offscreen!

I think Maddiman's main project was some sort of dimensional transport thing using salvaged alien tech? It was just a door in his lab that usually led to a closet but if he got it working itd teleport us straight to the alien base and save the world. And a lot of it wasnt explained but i got this great sense that itd all come together with a great twist ending evebtually but then i woke up before i got that far. Same for the reveal of this maddiman's new sci fi backstory and soooo many other dropped plot threads. Alas!

So anyway: closet. Closet with one of those bead curtain things cos i was thinking about them when i fell asleep. It was supposed to be a teleport but when it malfunctioned it had really scary negative effects warping people's biology and stuff. I remember one of the test subjects was sent in for a five day trip to a specific alternate dimension but then when they came back itd been several years and theyd had to survive in a deadly wasteland and been mutated into a hellbeast. And maddiman had a huge breakdown because he felt like his recklessness and optimism towards this experiment had caused this mistake to happen, and he'd never realized just how awful the consequences could be. He was babbling motor mouth discussing theories for where it went wrong and there was something like 'we'd only tested it for one day trips and assumed that just programming two of them would equal two days but actually with each additional number on the screen it multiplies the days by 3" And there was something about like...the bead curtain was the machine rather than the door itself? Like trying it on a bunch of different doors around the lab to try and find a way to cure this person.

And there was some sort of artificial intelligence computer with the personality of an adorable lil girl, who helped maddiman do calculations and stuff. She missed the mistake in this calculation cos her concept of linear time and the limits of human organs was kinda undeveloped. She only existed within the realm of numbers after all, and didbt even have functionality to record footage of her human friends's faces. No idea wtf a human looks like! So maddiman was lost in his desperate grief of potentially accidebtally killing or at least mentally scarring a person and the government would probably kill them now if they saw they were a super mutant. And he was sobbing and begging this AI to help, his last resort was her maybe being able to see a brainwave that he'd missed. But she was freaking out cos she didnt even fully understand why maddiman was crying let alone what to do to fix it. Eventually she did manage to find a solution theough some simple different logic thing that she had from her perspective as a computer. And that person was saved but still traumatized and maddiman had a moment of realizing just how high stakes everything was and freaking out. He was like 'whats wrong with my head, why didnt i notice that, why was i so reckless, why cant i seem to grasp basic human logic that i need right now" Having a big existential crisis of 'wait how did i even get in this lab, where's my family and why do i seem to have superpowers'. Protagonist mission: hide all the goddamn mirrors to avoid this weird ghostgramp (...aliengramp??) from realizing he's dead (..or an alien??) and losing control of himself. And everyone was running around talking about 'containment procedures' and poor maddiman didnt know that if his panic attack continued he might just straight up be killed for outliving his usefulness. So the protagonist was desperate to help him calm down and it sucked SO MUCH cos they had to lie about his past and weave the web of deception around him again for his own safety. In the end they just hugged him close until he calmed down, and all the other employees were like GASP THEY ACTUALLY TOUCHED THE EVIL DANGEROUS SUPER EVIL MAN and protag was like 'i am 1% away from slapping the next bitch who insults this grandpa'. And it was super depressing cos once he'd calmed down he seemed to start forgetting that anything bad had ever happened?? And he was really panicking and scared cos he didnt understand why he was forgetting, and he knew he had to cling onto something important but he didnt know what. And then five minutes later he was back to haha cheerful nothing is wrong and i love doing my fun science in this room im never allowed to leave. And protagonist was crying the tears that this poor gramp wasnt allowed to cry :(

Also actually i think maybe he was a ghost AND an alien? Like he was a scientist who died in some sort of tragedy back when the aliens first invaded, but along the way he'd been infected so his body got back up as a twisted combination of human and inhuman. And this was something unique to him, like he just happened to have a genetic mutation in his blood that was totally undetectable in life but happened to mix unpredictably with this alien virus to turn him into a hybrid instead of just killing him. So the government was very interested in finding a way to replicate this and create new supersoldiers, as well as just taking advantage of this dude's confused mental state that granted him a unique understanding of alien tech that made him more effective than other scientists. And, of course, also made him easy to manipulate :(

And i also had a feeling that maybe his backstory was mixed up with Adventure dr eggman? Like here it seemed he had a daughter instead of a son, and she had a similar death to Maria Robotnik where she was assasinated by the government he worked for, and it tipped him over the edge. I think Maddiman-alien-scifi-dude originally died trying to save her from being used in some sort of experiment? Like she was already dying of a disease and thats why maddiman took this job to have access to powerful government technology to try and look for a cure. But when the whole alien apocolypse happened, the evil government decided to use her for experiments cos she was 'basically dead anyway'. Theyd just lie and tell maddiman she died of her illness. So this was how they found out that this particular family's bloodline had a mutation that let them form a viable hybrid with alien dna. They were turning this poor kid into a monster in the basement while lying to her dad about her being dead! And maddiman was about to commit suicide from having no reason to live anymore, with the hell of this apocolypse world and the false impression that his kid was already dead. But somehow monster-daughter sensed this or something and broke out of containment to try and save him, and when he saw her he was able to recognise her even in her twisted state. So when the soldiers gunned her down in front of him and fed him some lies about this not being his daughter, he just completely snapped. He tried in vain to fight back and take down as many of them as possible in revenge, but well he was just a simple round dad with no ability to fight a government. So he was unceremoniously executed along with his kid and they shoved the bodies back in the lab to continue testing. "Damn that overemotional science dad, he made us execute our most valable test subject! But at least this way we can analyze his corpse to see if the mutation is passed down on the patrilineal side." But at some point during the fight, monster-daughter's blood had splashed on her dad and gotten into his bloodstream. So the seemingly dead body suddenly got up out of the morgue and started sucking people's blood or something. And this led to the current situation where they have him locked up cos he's a valuable test subject but also hey he has 100% reason to kill all of us and we're screwed if he remembers his past. Also i think the computer AI thing was his subconcious attempt to recreate the personality of his daughter even if he couldnt remember she'd ever existed :(

Anyway at some point things escalated and there was this final showdown versus both the invading aliens and the evil governmebt guys. I think there was some corrupt greedy politician dude who stole maddiman's teleporter tech and sold us out to the aliens cos he wanted money and power or something. And probably predictably the aliens just threw him off a bridge after he gave them the thing, because seriously even this evil army thinks these government dudes are too evil!

So this big actiony event was happening and Maddiman was freaking out like 'no no no i cant leave the lab everyone wpuld be mad at me, i dont even know what its like outside this room' even when he was in the middle of being attacked by aliens. He was forced to face his repressed memories to survive, and he naturally had a massive fuckin freakout! And i think maybe when protagonist character was trying to protect him he accidentally lashed out with his powers and hurt them, and he was so horrified thinking another person he cared about was gonna die because of him. Protagonist was like 'dont worry gramps its just a scratch' but he'd already freaked out and run away into the battlefield to his heavily implied death.

BUT THEN at some sort of moment of dire need, he came back all powered up and re-memoried and was like 'i have every reason to despise humanity but im not gonna let more children die because of these damn corporate monsters (and also literal monsters which are infinately less scary)" And he did some sort of great sacrifice to save the protagonist at the cost of his own life, and it was super dramatic falling from a building into a lake of fire or something. While sobbing and smiling peacefully thinkibg "did i atone for my sins? Will i be able to see my family again?" As his smiling face sunk beneath the flames and the protagonist cried out into the abyss...

Aaaaand then i dont really know what happened in the big battle and i also never found out wtf the solution was to fixing the transporter thing or how the aliens invaded or any of the million plot points that were non gramp related.

I just remember that when we all saved the day and defeated the baddies we found that maddiman had actually survived and it was a big hugs reunion. He was like "OH YEAH i totally forgot i literally already died once and regenerated from it, and this was the entire start to my story. My bad!" *shrugs inexplicably not dead arms*

So yeah in summary im glad my brain summoned up a universe where my favourite sad granddad is literally immortal now, but also why did it torment him with an even sadder plot than his original one

[mendozas-lab]

FUNDAMENTALS 101:

The internet is basically a magic toolbox with “infinite” amount of information that can benefit your curiosity. Studying Jui jitsu in 2022 Era. Jui jitsu is blowing up. Hobbies, skills on a activity, creativity, handmade craft in any shape, Food. is going to be more valued in years to come. 

How did the last generation learn how to grapple? What tools/resources did they use to learn and get better? Experience on the mats (rolling with others), DVDs, word of mouth, books, Video camera recording. 

What do we have that they didnt? Smartphones, Youtube, social media, possibly people are getting better faster? People start off doing Jui jitsu now when they are kids. So the experience you receive from rolling has increased. 

Key notes from this video: 

0:15 - “Dont focus on winning; focus on understanding” 

From what I am understanding is that Longevity. Investment/compound effect. Also Self development: distinguishing and being able to understand both sides from the Ego and the identity you lean on the most.   

What are you learning? Why did this happen? 

Important develop and get more value from your time on the mats. 

Progression is the master who holds all the keys.

“Do not get caught up in the daily grind of performance” 

2:25 - “stop seing Jui jitsu as a whole and break it down in parts” 

No quick or easy one thing and this is the game changer that is gonna put me on. 

“Jui jitsu is very complicated and very difficult” 

What makes Jui jitsu so difficult for me? 

Even if you are starting off. Understanding and being present to ask yourself. Is this hard af? 

and 

its fun. That is how a good chunk of people enjoy doing this. So its important to perserve what makes this sport enjoyable. 

“positions are like instruments and your Jui jitsu as a whole is like an orchestra”

Research- You going out of your way to learn and teach yourself a move or whatever is a pretty good sign you doing it right. 

Rules of the game: Your Job is to learn how each positon works.  

3:45 - 

A list of moves one can learn on their own time. DETAILS. So for example the arm bar. You would literally approach it as if you had a book that said “How to do arm-bars for dummies”. I think this is where something important gets missed. AND I am a victim on approaching a more understanding in what I am getting myself into. Their are Thousands of micro details on how to finish arm-bars. From how to go to the position to the tap. Patience is an understatement. 

Finding and working with others. Their are people out their that want to develop their game too. This is our own projects. That we collectively work on together. I mean we gonna need a arm to practice arm bars right?

So specific sparing. Specific positions. You are a scientist. 

5:15 - Finding a partner! Compound Effect. THis is VERY IMPORTANT

6:30 -  

ONLINE ONLINE ONLINE. Youtube, Social media, Competition Footage. Give it a week your algorithm on your social network will give you BJJ videos. Just watch even the short vids. 30 seconds. This is a tool that in this time- if you are training in any level white-black it can increase your Jui jitsu. Just because its sooo excessible and soo easy to use. This is a perfect time to do Jui jitsu. The internet, the easy access to this information can be collected. Its free. Their is really no excuse.