#so um♡ hope you dont mind

[kurosstuff]

Hello, how are you doing? :)

Since requesrts are open and your writing is marvelous, I wanted to request an Azula x gn reader oneshot/fic where reader is a childhood friend who grew distant to Azula over time, but is now chosen to be her fiancé in an arranged marriage.

You don't have to write it, but I still hope you likr the idea!

Have a great day ^^

Hi! I'm doing better at least! Thank you so much♡ It means so much to me to hear you like my writing!

I'd like to apologize for not writing this sooner- was taking a break with long fics- and idk how accurate azula is still- haven't watched fhe show in so long-! Also hope I got Ozai ok? Never wrote anything with him in it before I don't think

-

I got carried away♡.. this came out as more of a reconnection type thing? Eh- maybe that's good?

Summary: read ask♡

Warnings(?): azula being azula, reader freaks out/panics alot, ozai, soft(?) Azula(she's like kinda nice sometimes); slight angst. Misunderstanding(but not really), friends to strangers to lovers(?), both reader AND azula are oblivious on how they really feel,

Azula x G/N reader: arranged

Being azulas friend had its ups and downs

Mostly downs

"Oh, come on, Y/N. Don't such a kid, " Azula grumbled, trying to get you to stay still. She read a trick where if someone still stays, a firebender can hit the target above the person's head without any injury. In a book for children for whatever reason. "I'd never hurt you," which is partly true - Azula wouldn't hurt you on purpose, or she would - you weren't actually sure

But like time- friendships come and go.

As you grew older, you saw how awful of a person Azula was turning out to be. How cruel of a person she truly was - how little care she had for another being - even her own brother. Seeing how she was amused and not concerned for her brother during the Agni Kai- you decided enough was enough.

This 'friendship' was becoming too dangerous too frightening. You were aware you can't just up and end the friendship you decided to distance yourself from her. Feeling confident, she wouldn't notice the change

-

You weren't sure if she ever noticed- if by chance she did. She never said or gave the indication she knew. After a couple of months, you stopped coming around to hang out.

You felt bad, but you believed this was for the best.

It's been almost a three full year when you received the letter. One you'd overlook if it weren't for the very specific golden charm closing the envelope showing it was from the royal family. Usually, being given this letter is either an honor or.. something much worse. Swallowing down your nerves, you sat down staring at the envelope for almost an eternity. Opening it carefully, you begain to read.

Everything seemed normal in the letter besides the fact you are to be summoned to the Fire Lord himself for something. Totally normal. Not like your gonna die or anything. Be shipped off to war maybe? You'd 100% are not worried.

Nope.

-

Rushing to get ready, you practically jumped in the air in Fright when you heard the knocking on the door. Your nerves were shot, and this whole thing was just making it worse.

You almost hoped to not see her there. But that'd be impossible since she lived there. Opening the door two guards stood infront of you looking at you sternly.

"Are you Y/N?" Nodding your head yes- you didn't trust your voice at the moment. They turned and gestured to follow "come. We will escort you to the Palace"

-

You don't remember anything on the way there - it was all a blur - you blame it on your nerves, but it did help distract from the imitating Palace. Until you got there. The two guards stepped out and opened the door for you - following them the huge door to the Palace opened slowly with a creek. You took a deep breath and stepped in- turning you watched as the doors closed, sealing your fate. Locking you in - A sound of someone clearing their throat caught your attention

"This way," following closely, you dared not speak, not trusting your voice - and for the fact your throat was so dry a word couldn't get out when if you wished it.

Being led by two fully armed guards was almost as unnerving as the lack of decorations in the halls leading to the Fire Lords office. It was devoid of anything to show the human side of him - if there was any. The only lights shown were from flames - obviously, one's from the Fire Lord himself probably made. The only sounds you could hear was the sound of your heart beating harshly in your ears and the metal taps of the swords on the guards.

Stopping in front of huge double doors, they turned to you unblinking. "He's inside." Was all they said before they opened the doors for you. Once you stepped in they shut loudly the candles blowing out closest to you leaving you alone in the dark- minus the glow of flamed down the hall. Clenching your hands you took a deep breath and tried to relax-

The closer you got to the flames- the more the urge to run as far as you could got worse- alarm bells ringing in your head at the thought of this all going wrong. Something practically 100% possible. Even on his good days, he would be cruel. Stopping in front of the flame wall blocking you from the full view of the man himself - Fire Lord Ozai. His face covered in the shadows from how he sat, but the flames didn't hide how terrifyingly huge he looked - bowing in respect you were about to great him- before he put his hand up to stop you

"Do you know why I asked you here?"

It took you a moment to gain the courage to respond - surprisingly, he allowed you the moment - as if he thought you actually knew the reason. "No, Fire Lord Ozai. I do not. " A deep hum was all you got in return - fabric moved, glancing up, you gulped.

He stood up.

Walking towards you, the flames moved, almost glinding out of his way like a door - he stood before you. Moving his hand in a gesture, you understood to stand straight up , your eyes cast away in respectfear. Walking around you in a circle.

Like a predator hunting his prey. He stood in front of you again after a moment. "Yes. You are perfect." The odd complaint from him did nothing to ease you - seeing your confusion, he hummed."There's an arrangement. Obviously, your Father never told you." The look you held did nothing to stop him,"the arrangement was. His firstborn was to marry my firstborn." The words he spoke caused a mixed sense of emotions in you- confusion, anxiousness. And fear from what was your next thought.

His firstborn was banished.

"But. Giving the events that unfolded with my firstborn. The agreement changed a bit. You will marry my second born."

Clicks of footsteps echoed behind you. You didn't dare look behind you.

"You are to marry my daughter- Azula. Whom I was made aware you were friends of sorts." Turning away, he walked back to his throne. "You will be Wed in two months."

Behind you, someone cleared their throat, turning around, and froze. Azula stood arms crossed, staring at you - almost glaring from how narrowed her eyes were. The same smug smirk from years ago is still present. She almost didn't seem to change much but all the more terrifying. Even if deep down you were happy to see her

"Well. Hello Y/N, " she spoke, voice coming out in a condescending purr. "It seems like we have some catching up to do." Turning, she gestured you to follow her

-

You followed Azula to her room. You've been in it once before, but that was years ago. Before you felt comfortable - now you felt uneasy - tense about the whole thing. Standing far away from the bed but close enough, you looked around the room - it looks the same as it did, but with some added things such as plants and a new dresser replacing the old silver one she used to own.

Azula sat on her bed, pulling some books out to go through every once in a while, looking up at you - face unreadable. Shows how much has changed before you could tell what she was thinking even if she wouldn't show it - now it's like she's a new person - and in a way, she is.

"What's the matter with you?" Azula asked(more like demanded), looking over at her- Azula seemingly growing frustrated at the books in her hands- what about you weren't sure. Turning towards you with eyebrow raised an annoyed look on her face. You haven't answered her yet

"Oh- uh, nothing. Why?" Humming she placed the book down on her lap- gesturing towards the bed. Getting the message you sat down on the edge. She sat silent for a moment before sighing.

"Look." She started after a while. She took a second to think her response through - it was an odd sight. Azula glanced at you- raising an eyebrow at the unnerved state you were in. Standing up, she walked to her counter. "I get it. The situation we're in is weird. " Pulling some object out, she turned to face you. Handing it to you. It looked like a squishy turtle duck

Seeing the confusion on your face when you took it, she sighed, facing away from you once the look of realization hit you. "You always needed something to hold to calm down when you got like this." She spoke, sitting down beside you. Turning it around the squish toy was the same one you were given- and forgot about years ago. When you and Azula were close. The same accidental burn mark on the shell of the toy. You still remember how she gave it too you

-

Sitting on the bench, you held your hurt, burning hand crying. Clutching them close - you knew you shouldn't have let Azula talk you into doing such a trick.

A dangerous trick - yet she did. And here you sat hurt.

And alone.

Hurried footsteps came from behind you - you knew those footsteps. Sitting upright, you used your uninjured hand to whip the tears away harshly. You didn't want to give Azula another reason to tease you.

"There you are" she spoke. Sitting next to you she held something behind her. Face slightly flushed from either embarrassment or what you didn't know- nor gave it much thought once a toy was shoved in your face "here- I. I heard from the towns people that a thing called a 'squishy' helps calm people down. Brings comfort or whatever. So take it. It's yours" Holding it in your hand you smiled tearfully. Azula looked like she practically softened before she turned to your hand- huffing she gestured for it

"we need to clean this."

-

The memory brought a happy smile to your face. Looking up, you saw the quick look of relief on Azulas face before it hardened. "..you kept it?" A shrug was all you got in response for a moment

"Of course I did." Azula mumbled before clearing her throat, brushing you off without a word. Turning away from you - Azula was silent as you messed with the squishy in your hand. Turning towards you, she opened her mouth before shutting it. This caused to pause - Azula never hesitates, nor does she stop until she gets what she wants. Somethings wrong

Before you could ask, a knock came at the door. After giving permission, a maid came in bowing, "My lady, your training room is ready for you." A wave of her hand and the maid ran off hurriedly down the hall.

"You're coming with me." Azula spoke standing. She walked to the door, glancing back at you - an eyebrow arched. Obviously she was waiting for you to follow. Trying to swallow your nerves you jumped up putting the squish on the bed before turning to follow Azula.

The walk was quiet

-

Entering the training room a couple test dummies stood around the room. Arms stretched out like you used to see from the target practice dummies you'd come acrossed before.

"Sit there- I'll be back" Azula pointed towards some benches a bit far off- you sighed- it's better to just let her do what she says half the time anyways.

After you sat on the bench, Azula moved to the changing room. Her mind jumbled. Scattered around, and she couldn't think of a good reason as to why. Pacing back and forth, she clenched her jaw angrily

Azula was panicking on the inside - ever since she found out it was you, she was to marry. Even worse when she saw you. Would she be a horrible wife? Be like her father and treat her spouse horribly to the point of another abandonment? No. She won't be like him. Azula refuses to treat the one she's bound to in such a way - even Azula isn't that cruel of a person. She's not soft - she's not kind either. She knows the reason why you left her even if you didn't say.

It was her fault

Learning the first choice of who you were originally gonna be married to didn't help her feel good at all. Did you know you were gonna marry her brother? That you left cause of that? The selfish, selfish side of Azula prayed that was the real reason you left. She knows it's not, but it's just easier to think

She wants to prove that she's the best choice - the only choice. Of course, the arranged part of the marriage didn't make her feel happy made her feel horrible. If you were to marry her, she'd want it to be of your free will - not be forced.

Azula stopped pacing. What? Why is that the thing she's focused on. Blinking she crossed her arms. Of course the thought of someone being forced to marry her set an uneasy feeling inside her, but. The thought of marrying you wasn't bad at all-

Why is that? It makes no sense why Azula was and still is hung up on a loss of a friend. The loss of you since the beginning was horrible. It made her sick- she'd admit it only to herself now that she missed you- but.. why does she feel relief from the thought of marrying you? Was it cause she knew you?

Shaking her head she quickly got dressed

-

Fiddling with your thumbs, you glanced around the room - thankfully, in a more relaxed mood. Your heart no longer felt like leaping out of your chest. The whole area was spotless- which wasn't a surpise given how certain people would react to a messy training hall. You shuddered at the memory.

Looking over when the door opened, your face flushed a bit. Azula was already looking your way when she came out. Without a word, she stepped up and moved the dummies a bit before she begins she started to stretch. Standing straight she smirked back at you.

"Keep those eyes on me," she begain her training. Hitting the dummies far back with a punch in the air- blue flames came out in a flicker illuminating her air and passing some of the training dummies closest- but surprisingly never touching them. Only hitting her target

It wasn't much of a surpise on how good of a fighter Azula was- but you can't help but you can't help but still be surprised at how well she can control her flames. You've seen fire benders fight and train before, this wasn't the first- but it was the first seeing just how different she was to the others. If anyone else tried this. Tried to hit the target from the farthest to the front. 100% the flames passing the others would be hit and burned, but for Azula- it was like it never touched.

The more she hit and kicked, the more in awe you were in watching. If anything, it looked like a dance you'd see from how fluent and confident Azula moved to attack.

As quick as she began, the training ended. Azula walked towards you, and she didn't even break a sweat- even her hair was kept in place even though she was hitting and kicking. Standing infront of you she crossed her arms almost smirking. "Well?" She spoke with an eyebrow raised

"You were perfect! How did you even do that?"

"I'm a natural. No trouble at all" Azula spoke smugly- she wasn't gonna tell you how long it took for her to get the attack right when she was younger. Everything needs to be perfect. Azula hummed, interrupting your praise for a moment. "..We added more flowers to the garden. I'll show you" she spoke almost oddly. The praise you gave her felt weird- but it filled her ego. Of course it was perfect.

This was Azula

Nothing less than perfect no matter what.

She turned to leave to redress ignoring your call.

"We'll go once I come back"

-

The garden wasn't totally different from how it was since the last time you saw it. The tree in the middle has grown much older but still hanging strong - a knew bench was placed near it, giving the tree and pond underneath. The sun hitting perfectly in-between the leafs and from the rocks below made it have almost a glow to it.

Looking around, the bushes nearby were cut in the specific square way the Fire Lord himself seemed to prefer rather than the rounded ones. Stopping once you heard quaking noises. A smile came over your face, walking to the center pond. You knelt down, looking at the turtle ducks

"Here. You can feed them if you'd like" Azula spoke, holding a small bag of bread out. Thanking her you took it and started to break them up. Azula watched her eyes softening at the sight.

Azula couldn't put her finger on what was wrong with her. Was it her nerves? Why does this scene in front of her make her feel off? The way you're kneeling in front of the turtle ducks the way you gently fed them. The way the lowering sub hits your face. Blinking, she scowled, looking away from you. Looking out to the pond on the other side

"Do you want to feed one, Azula?" Not getting a response, you looked over, frowning at what you saw.

Azula looked almost troubled by something. "Azula?" Calling out to her gave no help. It was like she was here but not here at the moment. Calling out to her again in a softer tone to not startle her- she blinked at you slowly before registering where she was. Standing up, you watched her closely

"Azula. Are you ok?"

Azula just nodded slowly. A moment passes before she bits her tongue. A question on the tip of her tongue. She doesn't want to ask. But she has to. She needs to if she really wants to not be like her father. Not in this way at least

"Are we still friends?" Azula asked before she could stop. "Like I know this is an arrangement but. Are we?"

You didn't responded right away. Just stood there thinking. The way she looked at you- you couldn't tell what she was thinking. It was like looking at a new person. Slowly nodding your head "yes we are." You bit your lip in thought "can we have a do over? From how things ended-" it was a selfish thing to ask. To pretend you didn't just disappear from her life.

Azula nodded her head

"Then.. we can start over?" You said, looking away from Azula for a moment - turning back to look at her - her gaze was on the pond in front of you both.

"Don't see why not. We're not getting married for a couple of months, so we have time"

[daenysx]

lovely Hii

Can i get poly!marauders x fem reader where maybe she has been exhausted and busy lately and maybe they’re giving her some space cause they dont know if she wants affection now but she sees them all lovey dovey with eachother all the time and she feels sad cause she wants to join but feels too shy to ask so she tries to discreetly slip back and one of them notices?

Im sorry if that is a bunch of gibberish but i have been awake for over a day now and my brain is fried (i hate uni)

thank you for requesting, i hope you enjoy <333

(comments are always appreciated and i literally need to see what you think to keep writing, angels. of course i can't force you to send me anything but it would be amazing if you take two seconds to tell me what you think. it's not always easy to keep doing something without getting any feedback about it ♡)

poly!marauders x fem!reader

the relationship between james and remus has always been somewhat chaotic.

they have huge chemistry, maybe something like opposites attract situation. remus is calm when james is bubbling with excitement, remus loves with silent kisses when james loses his breath as he makes love, remus likes rationality when james swims deep in his emotions.

you watch them flirt as they sit on the couch. you're at the table across them in the living room, staring at your laptop screen with exhausted eyes. it probably would be easier to complete what you've been writing if you could have more energy, but sadly you sit all tense and cold at your place. your arms get the chills, you avoid looking at your lovers.

if you leave the table to join them, james and remus would welcome you with open arms. the mere thought of james's lips against your forehead and remus's fingers rubbing your neck makes you want to cry loudly. it's just torturing yourself, but you don't think you're strong enough to ask for love. you need to get this done. you need to think about the classes you gotta pass.

james kisses a line on his boyfriend's cheek, so warm, remus practically loses his mind. "where's sirius?" james asks, remembering sirius leave for the kitchen minutes ago. "is he burning up our kitchen, do you think?"

"we would've notice."

"no, we wouldn't." james whispers. "you're too damn distracting."

remus melts. autumn always brings starvation for touch and loving, two things james is the best at giving. he looks at your way briefly, your droopy eyes worry him.

"she seems so tired." remus says, his lips kiss james's knuckles mindlessly. "should we say something to make her give a break?"

"she said the essay has a deadline, moons." james answers. "i mean, she clearly needs a break, but i'm not sure if we should interrupt her."

it's hard to decide because you get nervous with breaks sometimes. you complain about not controlling the time good enough when you're spending your free minutes with them and being unable to finish stuff at time. you say most of this teasingly, but the boys know there's always some truth in it.

sirius walks into the room with a big mug in his hands. he carries it carefully to your table. james and remus watch the scene, their hands together and legs tangled.

"here it is." sirius puts the mug on the table. "a perfect cup of hot chocolate for my gorgeous girl."

you look at him with the widest eyes. you can't cry. fuck, he's so sweet. he smiles, he looks so handsome with his old t-shirt and messed up hair. you close your laptop, curve your lips to stop yourself from crying.

"this is so nice, siri." you say to him, unshed tears clog your throat. "thank you."

"um- can i get a kiss? i spend fifteen minutes for this."

you nod with a smile, he leans down for you. you only mean to kiss his cheek, but he smells so good and he's so kind- your hand shakes as it touches his shoulder. it doesn't take sirius long to understand what's going on. he manages to hug you before you start crying.

"oh, baby, no-" he says with a sad voice. he attempts to make a joke. "you can't cry for hot chocolate- i'm sure it doesn't even taste that good."

james and remus sit straight with worry. "dove?" remus leaves the couch. "what's wrong?"

"are you okay?"

you nod, they probably won't believe it. you hold onto sirius, he lifts you up from the chair. it's a proper hug now, your skin tingles with the sensation. it feels so good to be touched.

"it's okay." sirius kisses your head. "you're just overwhelmed. you're okay."

you keep your head on sirius's chest. he's warm and his arms are strong, he supports your body to help you stay on your feet. remus brings his hand on your waist, his thumb gently draws a circle.

"can we go to bed?" you ask. separating yourself from sirius is hard, but it's harder to stay vertical. james extends a hand to you, you hold it greedily. they are all thinking the same thing, you'll calm down but you need to feel safe enough with your surroundings to do that. even though they'd like to keep you stuck in their arms, this might not be the best idea.

the bed is cold. it will pass in a few minutes. remus takes you under the blanket, james adjusts the pillows. sirius has a wrinkle between his eyebrows, he gets behind you on bed and wraps his arm around your shoulder. you sniffle softly, suddenly embarrassed by all the attention.

"sorry." you offer, your voice sounds sincerely sorry. "i don't know what came over me."

"i think we should be sorry." remus says. "jamie and i were talking about whether we should tell you to take a break but- we didn't wanna distract you. we should've distract you."

"it's not your fault that i can't manage my time doing stuff i've been doing for years." you say, weakly. "i'm just sick of being tired. i guess i- missed you."

sirius gives you a generous kiss on the side of your head. "you can jump on us any time you want, you know that, gorgeous."

"i think my head doesn't work like that when i'm exhausted."

"it doesn't have to." james says. his voice is like honey. "you don't have to ask for anything. we should be giving you everything before you even have to ask."

"he's right." remus agrees. "it should be like this for all of us, i think."

you nod. your eyes have a grateful look in them, they are undeniably tired, but still pretty to your boys. the bed is warmer. you force yourself to stop counting down the minutes for deadlines. james puts his head on your chest, hugs you as your back touches the bed, his arms are tight around you like you'll run away.

it's good to be touched. it's amazing to have contact with their hands, safe and secure, you can do anything you want if you always feel like this. remus kisses your fingers. his eyes are gentle. they are all so gentle, kind with you, you feel like you'll never break as long as you have them.

sirius's kisses help you fall asleep at the end. he's always bold with his affections, this time he manages to be softer with his lips and more tender with his hands. long fingers in your hair, chapped lips on your skin. he whispers how much he adores you, the tone of his voice hits your mind so well. you are okay. you think you'll be okay, and that's a nice beginning to get things done.

[re--feminize-me]

hey yall, i was @re-feminizeme and unfortunately i cant log into my old acct on my new phone so i made a new one!!!

Mandatory disclaimer that transphobia in real life sucks and so does misogyny etc and i dont condone pretty much anything on this blog if its not in a consensual kink context, obviously. If this content triggers you pls block me.

loves

forcefem/feminization!!!!!!!

bondage esp shibari

brainwashing/conditioning/mind control

hypnosis!!!!!

breathplay

double penetration

edging & denial

being choked

likes

cnc (if in the mood)

breeding

bimbofication/dumbification

gaslighting/manipulation

spirals

being drugged (consensually and for the right person), esp. aphrodisiacs

degradation in very specific like, um, ways??? like um, i like sweet degradation.

exhibitionism but like um, im not like, TOOOOO into this its a minor kink for me

misogyny kink (which like, seems 2 be getting stronger lately fsr????)

curious about

lactation

hucow

consensual blackmailing

will update as i like, think of more???? if u think of anything not on this list ask me about it n like, it just may get added hahahahahaha

hard limits

findom/me

vomit

watersports/scat

cgl/ddlg/daddy dom anything

age regression

alternate personality stuff/anything related to that

feet

body shaming, esp weight related

weight control

racism/racist slurs/etc

any kind of incest including daddy/mommy as a title

ass to mouth in any capacity

rimming (giving)

I'm picky about who i like, chat with, um, but playing is a possibility if i like u 😳 feel free to send me asks/anons tho i always luv getting those ♡♡♡♡

_______________________________________________

some of my hypnotic triggers im like, willing 2 share publicly

dr*p and sle*p - some obvious ones, put me into a trance

deeper and deeper - makes me go deep real fast if used after dr*p and/or sle*p

throb - makes me really horny and makes my cunt, well, throb

edge esp in all caps/bolded - makes me immediately reach an edge and if im touching i HAVE 2 stop until the edge has passed

like a good girl - makes me want to obey whatever precedes it

submit/surrender - makes me feel very obedient n like, submissive

tr*th - makes my subconscious answer a question without my conscious mind being aware of it and i will immediately forget answering the question after

_______________________________________________

i occasionally make detrans/misgendering/bimbofication files (you can find them here!!) but im primarily a sub.

I've been listening to hypnosis for like 3-4 years and this is like, how ive turned out bc of it???? I really am detransitioning n becoming the best bimbo i CAN be irl this is not like, ENTIRELY a fantasy for me. ask me abt it??

my tits are like,,,, soooo big omg. last i posted abt them on my old blog they were a DDD/F cup and now theyre an i cup??????? i like, hope they keep getting bigger 😳😳

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 

“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 

“Told you” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 

“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 

“And what if it is?” He questioned. 

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 

Admit how he felt to Sydney. 

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

[xglassx]

Celestial toymaker x reader

♤♡◇♧

I sat outside the toyshop scrolling through my phone.you told your boyfriend that you head started to hurt so you went outside to get some air.he nodded his head and gave you a soft smile before going back to what he was doing.

He had become a lot less cautions of what you where doing he trusted you to fo out on your own. Well,it took a lot of persuading but you final was allowed to go out. Mostly to go to your house and get your things and he forced you to tell your parents that you where in a relationship and where moving in with your boyfriend.

You parents where so happy but also up set.it was so sudden,you where gone for weeks then suddenly you show up again with a boyfriend who you just ment. And you where already moving in with him.it worried you parents and they swiftly wanted to confront this man who seemed to be a bit older according to your words. You swayed them no too because you didn't want anything to happen to them. Knowing the toymaker would not be happy with them.

You just tried to keep him happy and it seemed to work.as you head rested on the red brick wall listening to cars driving past you and foot steps of people walking past-"hey,you lost?" You tilted your head up.the sun glaring down on your face as you raised a hand to cover your eyes to get a better look at this stranger. He was tall around 5,11 maybe hard to tell with blond short hair that had a sort of bounce to it along with loose baggy clothes. He reminded you of a golden retriever in the way he looked and how he smiled down at you.

"No thanks I am alright" you waved him off before looking back to your phone assuming he would just go away on his own after hearing your response or he would get the hint. "Are you sure?" He tilted his head and offered a hand to you "it's okay to ask for help.i am not going to bite" there it was again that same sweet smile. You eye brows raised as you ignored his hand slowly resting your hand on the floor to.push yourself up into both feet."like I said,I am okay I live round here" you rested your back against the wall hoping the now change in beight from you being on the floor to now standing up would make you seem less lost and confused. "Are you sure I have never seen you around" He asked as he sheepishly put his hand down to rest at his side. He had this sort of happiness to him that made he seem sweet but nervous at the same time when he talked to you.

"Ugh yeah,I just moved in" you Made a subtle gesture towards the small shops gentral direction."do you need someone to show you around?" He said as he shifted his weight onto opposing feet."um,no thanks I know the place quite well but that was sweet of you" He seemed to smile when you absentmindedly called him sweet. "Maybe we should go out sime time? I am free tonight if you wanna-" "no thanks I got a boyfriend" you where quick to cut him off nor wanting anything to do with this conversation anymore."then why where you leading me on like that,all you woman are the same" I gave my a disgusting look "exusme,I didn't lead you on" He got closer to me "yes you did come on just one date I can make you change your mind" I took a small shuffle to the side to try avoid being backed against the wall "yeah no,go away I am done talking to you" He reached out and grabbed my for arm "dont walk away from me" He started to rase his voice.

I gave him as hard look before tugging my arm out of his grip. It clearly surprised him as he went to grab my arm again but having to step back in surprise when someone stood right in between the two of us."is zis man bothering you ,Schatz" I looked up at the toymaker as ge grabbed my hand softly bring it up to his lips kissing it possibly trying to calm down. "Umm...." I glanced at the man that stood behind the toymaker feeling guilty for him "no,let's just go inside" you tugged his hand over to the shop leaving the man standing angry "hey the fuck! Are you her boyfriend! I could easily take you"

You turned over to the man with a smile "exuase me how about you leave us the fuck alone" you said with a sickly sweet smile. But your face dropped when the toymaker let go off your hand "vhy don't you go inside Mein Liebling I vont to have a vord with zis vyoung boy" you eyes locked with the toymaker knowing better then to argure I nodded my head and walked back into the shop. I heard the small bell shine as I sighed looking around,"fuck me this place is just so creepy sometimes" you rubbed the back of your neck and sighed as you hopped over the counter and went to pull over to door.

The second you do the toymaker was standing right there casuing you to stumble back "I vont think vats a very gnice ring to say you will hurts vere feeling" the toymaker said with a smiled as he held out a doll in his hands.it looked awfully like...."really did you have to? I mean,yes he did push his luck but-" I looked up into his eyes and the look he game me told that he was going me a warning. "Sorry" you casted my eyes to the floor as he lifted my eyes to look up at him."dont vou ever apologies Meine Liebe" he kissed your forhead and brung me into a tight hug,hand resting in your back and one on the back of your head pressing me into he rest as he wayed. Hiding you face from the world

[linawritestwst]

I saw the rollo with the reader who is scared of magic and i liked it so much 😁. May I request Rollo with a reader who is homesick because of flower town. Seeing people with their families at home just remind the reader that they can't do that. I know they are similar fanfics but i dont mind.i just like comfort.With gn!reader please!!

rollo x reader who misses their world headcanons (gn!reader)

thank you so much for requesting this, anon, i enjoy writing for rollo a lot <3 and also thank you for saying that you want it to be soft because i immediately thought of yandere hcs right when i read your request 😭😭 i hope you like these and they're just as cute as you expected!

♡ rollo can't imagine how lost you must feel right now. of course, he knows that it's hard for you to live in a world full of magic as someone who's completely magicless, but he also knows that.. well, he's still a magic user, so he can't fully understand your pain. you also have to deal with overblots and nrc students in general. he really wishes he could help you in some way, even though he knows that you're staying in the city of flowers only for like three days.

♡ he's very protective of you and he makes sure you're safe and comfortable. if he sees a nrc/rsa/literally any magic school student talking to you and being annoying, he will gently stop them and tell them that he knows a place they will definitely find interesting, so maybe they should leave you alone and go there instead. and yes, he knows, that it's his job as a student council president to watch over all students and not just you, but.. fine, fine, he has his favorites.

♡ he would love to listen to you talk about your world. you can talk to him about it if you miss your home so much that you can't stop thinking about it or you can just do it to spend some time with him. he's not sure that you will find him that interesting, but he can assure you that he's a good listener and he's genuinely curious about your world. also, he just hopes that you will feel better after talking about it. again, he's okay with doing anything to help you.

♡ your stories fascinate him. he had no idea what it's like to live in a world that doesn't have any magic and now he knows about it thanks to you. haha, it really does sound like a perfect world.. oh, um, he hopes you didn't hear that. but you did. you tell him that your world is far from perfect, but you still love it and miss it so much. sure, you remember wishing to wake up in a world that's just like the books you used to read and the movies you used to watch as a kid, but now.. you understand that you weren't made for a life like this. yes, you made a lot of friends here and you're slowly getting used to this place, but you really want to see your loved ones again. also, this world is just way too dangerous for you. so yes, even though your world wasn't perfect, you still want to go back.

♡ and rollo really wants to help you. he has no idea how to send you back to your world, but he will try his best to find at least some information about it. he asks you if crowley knows about your situation, you know, he's the headmaster after all, so maybe you should ask him- WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DID ASK HIM FOR HELP BUT HE STILL DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. wait, so the jokes about crowley keeping you here so that you can do his job for him weren't jokes at all?? um. well. hey, y/n, do you mind if rollo steals you from the nrc students for some time, haha.. <3 no, no, he's not being serious, it's just.. you know, if you want to, you can always transfer to nbc-

♡ whenever you see families looking happy, friends having fun and couples showing their love to each other, no matter how much you try to remind yourself that you're not alone.. it still hurts. you almost end up crying after seeing them. and rollo notices. he's not sure if his words will make you feel better in any way, but he says that if you need anything from him, he'll always be glad to help. again, he knows that you're here only for three days, but if you want, maybe you two can.. uh.. you know, keep in touch even after all of this is over. you smile and ask if rollo wants to be friends with you. your question surprises him, but he knows he has to be honest with his feelings and he says yes while covering his face with his handkerchief again. haha, he really is cute.

♡ to be honest, rollo actually starts to forget about his.. "plans" because of you. all of his thoughts are about you now. he just can't get you out of his head, he really wants to help you and support you and he's very, very worried about you. when he remembers that you'll have to go back to nrc soon, his heart starts to hurt in a strange way, he never thought he would feel like this about someone. w-well, it's probably just because he likes you and thinks that you deserve better than what you have right now. of course, he likes you only as a friend and that's it.. but rollo doesn't understand why the thought of you leaving twisted wonderland scares him so much now. wasn't he supposed to help you go back home?

[goddessofhuntartimas]

Comfort

Paring: Dean winchester x reader

Warnings⚠️⚠️:mentions of self-harm, blood, depression, drinking,swearing,fufffff

Summary: Dean comforting you after a breakdown.

°♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡°

You're pov:

I was currently in my room that I have here at the bunker crying. I liked to claim I was strong and I could get through anything, but the truth is I can't. Every day gets harder and harder, and the scars on my body grow to the point that there's no room anymore. There's no breathing room it's not like I'm only physically suffocating but mentally. So again, here I was crying in my room, deciding if I should shut out the lights that was until someone knocked on my door. Sam walked in with a book. In hand "Hey, I was wondering..." he stopped mid sentence, giving me a worried expression. "Hey. hey, what's wrong? " he said in a soft tone. I looked away."I don't want to talk about it, " my voice cracked. "Ok.... do you want me to get dean?" He asked, unsure of what to do, "no! Don't please dont. " I began not wanting trouble, dean more than I've already have. It's not like dean didn't know where every scar has come from or what's been going on in my mind, but for the past 2 months, I've been distant and covering up and to my luck he's been really busy so it definitely been hard for him to completely notice and I say completely because he has asked if I'm ok or would ask why I'm acting differently which I would reply with "it's nothing just been busy" or "I'm ok just tired" but that could be further from the truth. "Are you sure?" Sam asked one more time "yeah I was just overthinking nothing too bad." Lie. "Well, im always here if you need me." Ok, thank you." I said blantly. He walked out, and I sighed, flopping down on the bed. I'm so tired, but I couldn't sleep. I kept on tossing and turning.

Sam's pov:

After what y/n looked like, there was no way in hell I wasn't not going to tell Dean. Would I possibly get my ass beat later? Yes, I would. "Hey, dean. I need to tell you something, and I need you not to freak out." " Sammy, you tell me not to freak out then I'm going to, but what is it." I let out a sigh."It's um y/n. I'm worried about her." Dean got out of his seat and stated, walking, hearing all that he needed to. "Wait." I grabbed his arm he looked back at me, annoyed. "Listen, she didn't want me to say anything, so just pretend like you were asking her something." I gave him pleading eyes. "Ok" he pulled away walking to her room.

Y/n pov:

I got up to change putting one one of deans shirts hoping it would help me sleep and a pair of shorts. I was about to walk out of the room to go grab a beer, but I was met with a pair of green eyes that were filled with worry. He walked towards me, pulling me into a hug. I was tense at first but caved into his touch, and there I was crying again more like sobbing. His head was resting on mine while his hands moved up and down my back. "Baby, do you want to tell me what's wrong?" His voice deep and caring I pulled from him looking down speaking quietly." I just can't anymore dean. I just can't it's all too much." He put his hand on my cheek, creasing it and wiping my tears away. "Hey, sweetheart. Look at me." I looked into his eyes. " Why didn't you tell me sooner?" " Because I didn't want to worry you. You are going through so much yourself it's the last thing I want to do is make you worry." I couldn't hold in my tears. I just wanted to crumble to the floor. " it doesn't matter what I'm going through. You need to tell me what's going on, and we can work it out together because this right here isn't going to do anything. And trust me, it's something I need to work on to." "Ok" I whispered. " I'll be right back," he walked off . I was sitting on the edge of the bed curdled up in a ball, waiting for dean to come back. He walked in with a different pair of clothes on he smiled at me. God, i love that smile. I gave him a slight one back . He got under the covers, giving me a look to come over to him. I sat on his lap and kissed him. He followed my actions, putting his hands on my waist , we moved slowly . We pulled away. " I love you," I said softly. "I love you too, sweetheart." I moved to the side if him laying my head on his chest, and finally, I felt at peace.

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ fondness (chapter 16)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 5-6k

warnings- swearing, mentions of miscarriage, tae is sad sad, kaito is back, drinking, um i think thats all? lmk if not!

a/n- Lovies!! hi i hope ur all doing good. Im trying to write a lot more because i literally just quit my current job (they treated me like shit) after 2 months. Im applying to so many places rn but in the meantime im having fun giving my tumblr a little luv <3 also apologies for any mispellings, I had read over my previous chapters and cringed at some of the words I spelled wrong. I have been learning english for years now but apparently its still not to a 100, oh well! Anyways, please enjoy! -Nini <3

"I had my suspicions"

You blushed, eyes down on your water bottle as you sat in your childhood bed again, your mother sat comfortable at the end of it as you both talked.

You arrived back home around 2am yesterday, and to say that you already felt a little better was an understatement.

"you did?" you mumbled as your mother nodded, smiling.

"when you came to visit a while ago, I saw a lot of touchiness" she giggled "but I minded my business"

"ah this is embarrassing" your hands flew to cover your face, now knowing your own mother knew about your relationship before you could say anything.

"no, I dont think so" she hummed, looking at the carpet. "I just know when a boy is in love, i remember your father-"

you inhaled sharply at her words, biting your lip and looking away.

"-...he would always look at me like I was the center of the universe"

You stayed quite for a moment before speaking up softly, "what happened?"

She smiled sadly, "he chose a different life, and I resented him for so long, but I accept it for what it was, and now that I have..I feel like im free to live again. And thats what you need to do, accept it, accept whats happened." she whispered, calming voice infiltrating the bedroom at such a late hour of the night.

Your eyes met hers, a glimmer of love was bright enough to see through her dark brown orbs. You nodded as she began to speak again,

"Taehyung and you.....I always knew it would happen" she giggled, "I remember once you guys hit middle school, and the moment I caught you sneaking into my closet for makeup before he came over to play video games-"

"oh god, stop" you blush, shaking your head

"it was cute even if you wouldnt admit it" your mother waved her arm at you.

You hummed, crossing your arms over your chest as you got lost in thought.

"so, how is he taking everything?"

"taehyung?"

she nods, eyes burning a laser into yours.

"well...i dont know" your answer was honest as she sat up.

"what do you mean?"

You sighed once more before speaking, "he and I kinda argued before I left paris...im an asshole mom" you offered a sad laugh, looking down. "im an asshole...because, I got mad at him for trying to help"

She tilted her head, listening, "Im sure he just wanted to be there for you, he was hurting as much as you"

"i know, and thats the thing mama...but I just needed to be alone and away....and he got mad when I expressed it...its not like we are married" you roll your eyes

she giggles, "I understand my dove, but listen" she grabbed your hands, "things like this happen all the time, we cant run away from our loved ones when life gets bad. What happened between you both was terrible, and im so sorry sweetheart" she whispered, your own eyes getting a bit misty, "but running back home isnt gonna do anything"

You nodded before smiling, "I came here because its comforting, you're comforting.....now you're scolding me?" your voice had humor.

She laughed, "you are a 23 year old woman, I cant control your actions, like whether you stayed with Taehyung or came back to me, however I can tell you my opinion, and if your decision was right or wrong, not trying to guilt you, just being a mom"

You nod slowly, fidgeting with the heating pad sitting on your stomach to help ease the lasting cramps that only served as a painful reminder.

"you make your own choices hun, but...let me ask you this, do you love him?" she whispered

Your eyes shot up at her, your heart singing with sadness yet love.

"....yeah.." you whispered so quietly it was barley heard. "yeah I do" you couldnt help but begin to cry as she wrapped you into her arms.

A mothers loving embrace.

It could heal all, and this is exactly why you came back.

"You find comfort here, but as you get older, you need to find comfort in new things." your mother began, " life is scary, but its all about changing. Without change, life would be rather boring, huh?" her hands ran up and down your back as your face rested on her shoulder. "Taehyung has been here forever, youve grown together, but these new feelings? they offer new experiences,...amazing ones too. Im sure he loves you just as much, thats why he let you go..." she whispered, "but my dear, you have to fight through the darkness to find the prize, to find why you had the connection at all"

You were full on Niagara falls into your mothers sweater. Her words provided insight, but as well as pain. You shouldnt have left him behind, it was wrong, and you hoped he understood.

you realized that you were your fathers daughter, and not just in DNA. Your first instinct was to run away from your loved ones, run away from family when they would give you everything.

You were becoming your father.

And you hated how much you still loved that man even if he left you. and you hate that you take after him in such painful ways.

But most of all...you hate how you didn't even see it happening.

"shh" your mother cooed, holding you as she rocked back and forth slowly. "my child, life will settle, but you need to find your way, and if thats with him, you need to tell him"

"i know" you whispered, wiping your eyes as you clutched the tiny bear you packed.

The bear.

Fuck, you wish you didnt bring it in your suitecase.

It was the teddy bear taehyung bought the day after finding out you were pregnant, The perfectly placed initial on the middle that always made you remember he thought of you as a Kim, as well, even if you werent married.

It was a reminder he wanted you in any way he could grasp you.

As a girlfriend, a mother to his child, eventually a wife, but always....always his best friend in life.

Your mother looked down at the bear, smiling. "y/n..."

"hm?" you mumbled, leaning back as she put your hair behind your ears.

"im so sorry this happened to you" her voice was quiet again, "you would have been a beautiful mother....and if you decide to have kids in the future, thats exactly what youll be"

You nod sadly, "thank you...."

It was quiet for a moment before she spoke up again, "when I was in my twenties, your father and I decided to try and have another child..we saw how you clung to your pre-school friends and called them your sisters" she chuckled "so we thought maybe another baby would be good. Well- I got pregnant right before your 4th birthday" her voice choked softly as you watched, this being news to you.

"unfortunately I, too, had lost it" she teared up explaining the situation. "it was one of the most painful things I ever went through....but looking back at it" she smiled at you gently, rubbing your back, "im so greatful"

"grateful?" you whispered, in shock

"I had you, my little best friend whos always stuck by me even in the worse situations...you never had to fight for my attention, we were always together"

You wiped her tears as you smiled sadly, agreeing.

"and you have always been more than enough." she mumbled, "so my love, I guess the lesson here is...that once you learn to accept it and know the situation for what it is.....you'll heal"

You hugged her tightly as her words struck your chest with a great force.

She was right, whether you liked her advice or not, shes been through exactly what you have, and if she can make it out and be such a wise, resilient woman today, than you can too.

But you'll be damned if its in the steps of your father.

Later after she went to bed, you were left alone, the covers up to your neck as the tv played some old school tv show that only got airtime in the late hours of the night.

You found your hand resting on top of your stomach as you laid calmly. You had to acknowledge it to get past it. "im not pregnant anymore..." you whispered, feeling an overwhelming sadness fulfill you. Your eyes drew down to your hand as you rubbed your stomach, feeling a bit stupid at what you were doing.

taking a few deep breathes, you opened your eyes and looked up at the ceiling, "its okay to be sad....its okay to cry" you remind yourself aloud, voice quiet and shaky, "but I can heal....its not my fault" you nod, tears falling for the millionth time within the past few days.

You were exhausted, mentally and physically, but after tonight you feel like perhaps you made a breakthrough, you were proud of yourself even if it was just a baby step.

You turned over in bed to look at your phone, the time was 3:55 am, yikes.

You barley had time to register it before the lock screen caught your attention, now all you could think about is how Taehyung was feeling.

-

"why are you already back?"

"dude just give me my fish and dog so I can go" Taehyung mumbled, standing at the front of his friend Jin's apartment.

He laughed and turned away for a moment before returning with Hae swimming around in his tiny tank, the packet of food wedged underneath jins chin. "here"

Taehyung took the bowl and the food, nodding "thanks..."

"mhm" he smiled, "so wheres Y/N? The last thing you posted was a photo of her standing on the edge of some fountain, did you push her into it?" he snorted, trying to be light hearted with his friend.

"no shes just, busy I guess" he shrugged, trying to leave quickly, "wheres yeontan?"

Jin looked behind him and picked up the small dog, putting the leash on him securely before handing it to taehyung, who took it with his free hand.

"thanks for not killing my pets and taking care of them, even if it was probably Stephanie who did everything" taehyung referred to Jin's wife, who stood behind him with a wide grin of acknowledgment. "i'll see ya" he nodded before turning down the hall to leave, Yeontan leading the way on his leash.

Taehyung walked on the sidewalk, his feet finding the familiar path to his own apartment.

He left Paris a day and half after you did, only communicating with you through occasional texts that left much to the imagination when it came to how you were doing.

He unlocked the door and walked in, wincing at how messy you two left it before leaving. His hands gently put Hae down on the kitchen counter as he began to pick laundry up, tossing them into a ball and making a mental note to do a washing load this weekend.

Tae checked his phone for any sign of you, frowning when he was met with 0 notifications.

Would it be wrong to call you? he didnt know anymore, things felt awkward...you left with no closure or definitive answer on what was okay or what crossed the boundaries.

It definitely felt uneasy being alone in the apartment, he missed your loud laughing, and the good food you always made for him.

He even missed when you would force him to watch shitty reality shows with you because it meant he got to cuddle with you on the couch for a few hours.

The rumbling sound of his stomach knocked him out of his head as he turned to the kitchen. There wasnt much, other than a few now rotten bananas sitting on the counter.

His hand gripped the fridge handle as his eyes were met with an ultrasound photo hung up by a hello kitty magnet, it felt like salt was poured into his wound...his hand slid off the handle. he wasnt hungry anymore.

Beside the photo was doctors reports hung up for upcoming appointments and reminders.

This upcoming weekend was supposed to be the gender reveal. Deep down Taehyung didnt care if it was a boy or girl, but not that he'd be having neither, it felt more upsetting.

It was a reminder of something that he might never get to experience with you.

He found his way to the kitchen counter, sitting in the quiet room as yeontans tiny pitter-patter paws echoed through the apartment wood flooring.

Taehyungs eyes were drawn to hae, the tiny yellow fish swimming around in his spongebob tank, a toy pineapple placed perfectly in the center for him. For some reason he teared up.

suddenly he felt the urge to hear from you, but he felt selfish for doing so. You should be the one to reach out, right?

He didnt know anymore.

"oh hae....I miss mama" he sighed, leaning down to rest his head in his crossed arms over the table.

-

"are you gonna just sit in bed?" your mothers voice echoed into your room, the lights were off and the curtains were closed as two large blankets covered your body....it was noon.

"I'll get out soon"

She shook her head, leaning against the door frame "Hun, I need to go shopping, I need to know you are up and alive before I leave you here alone"

Reluctantly you sat up, wiping your sleepy eyes as nostalgia from high school mornings hit you.

"there she is!" your mom cheered, directing her cat to follow over to you as she turned to leave.

You smiled at it as you stretch, "hi baby" your voice cooed before turning over and unhooking your phone from the charger

2 notifications

"oh" you mumbled, quickly unlocking it and going to your texts. You wish it was Taehyung, unfortunately it wasnt...

Kaito: hey, I know this is sort of inappropriate to text you like this, I get it, but I cannot stop thinking about you. I cant stop thinking about the baby. Can we please talk about maybe getting a paternity test?

you frowned, petting the cat as she climbed into your lap

kaito: and I know btw that you dont want me to be the father figure, which is fine. Ive taken time to understand that...however i need to know if its mine, I cant live without knowing y/n. please call or text.

Oh thats just great, another person you had to break the news to.

Your mother came back down the hall, knocking on the door frame "so are you coming or not? im leaving" she smiled

"I'll stay here, thanks though mama, hows your back?"

She waved her hand in dismissal "oh im fine honey, I got my brace"

You smiled sympathetically as she turned to leave, knowing she was probably lying about the pain.

Shes always been stubborn, thats where you get it from.

After getting cleaned up a bit, you made your way outside to sit on the front deck, propping your phone up as you sit in the rocking chair. Were you really about to facetime Kaito?

....guess so...

After a few rings, you began to feel the tightness in your chest...the anticipation...the nervousness...

"hello?" his voice echoed through your ears, for some odd reason you felt like crying already.

"hey....are you at work?"

"on break" he smiled softly, eyes looking into yours through the phone screen. It felt odd to sit here on call with him, you havent done it since you both had been dating.

"so..."

He sat down, propping the phone up against a wall as he watched you, making it clear he was ready to talk. "listen, please understand this isnt me trying to make my way back into your life"

You nod, picking at the skin around your fingernails.

"I just want to know if its mine is all, I mean, I figured theres a chance it is, no? so this is warranted right? i dont want to seem pushy...."

You sigh, looking at him, "um, well I called you because I wanted to discuss everything"

"what do you mean?" his head tilted softly

"kaito, I uh, I lost the baby" you said aloud, nodding as you did so. In some way, the words left your mouth a lot easier than just a few days prior.

You were knee-deep in the healing process

"oh." was all he responded, his face appearing confused and unsure, "you lost the...baby?"

"miscarriage" you add, "it happened a few days ago, I never had the chance to tell whether it was yours or taehyungs"

He frowned, "y/n, im sorry"

"dont apologize its fine, im fine"

"god...."he ran his hands over his face, obviously deeply upset by the news.

"its okay" you assured again as he watched you for a moment,

"do you think it was mine? genuinely?" he whispered

You shrugged, eyes dragging away from the screen to look at the cars driving past the house "I dont know"

You did, you were 90% sure it was taehyungs, this was decided last night as you carefully calculated the dates between periods, and the breakup vs when you and taehyung got together.

If it was kaitos, that would have meant you were close to being 5-6 months pregnant, and at the time of the miscarriage, you were about 3-4.

regardless, it was still upsetting, and in hindsight, it didnt matter anymore especially when you had to sit and break everything down to your ex.

He sighed again, "how are you managing?" he whispered

"im good, im at my moms house right now"

"wheres taehyung?"

you scoffed slightly, even after telling him the situation he only cared about you and taehyung. "Kaito I called to inform you about the baby and the baby alone, we dont need to discuss my personal life, you dont get to know information that no longer involves you"

He sat watching you for a moment before nodding "okay....sorry?"

"thank you for being understanding during this, and all I ask is that you continue to be respectful to not only me, but taehyung"

He rolled his eyes slightly "okay"

"okay" you repeated, sitting near the phone, "well...thats all I suppose, text me if you have more to discuss on the topic, have a good shift"

with that, you hung up and couldnt help the slight smile that popped up on your face, you finally stuck up for yourself, and taehyung

It felt good.

so good that you almost called taehyung out of instinct.

would he be okay with that?

you decided against it, putting your phone away as you sat back and swayed in the rocking chair.

-

Taehyung gently creaked open the door of what used to be his bedroom, but was now reserved in the space of a future nursery.

He hadnt been in here in a while, and now as he sets his eyes on it all, he wishes he didnt walk in.

There were boxes of items you ordered online piled up in the corner, he smiled sadly and looked through them.

The crib you bought, he promised he would put it together for you, you were never good at building things, instructions or not.

The thought made him giggle softly as he looked at the other things, the vanity and picture frames. The familiar grief found its way into his chest as he went over and laid on the rug in the center of the room.

It was a lilac purple rug, you picked it out and decided the nursery will be just that color scheme, regardless if it was a girl or not. His fingers weaved through it as he began to cry, eyes scanning over the room that will forever be empty, items put to waste. The small bundle of baby toys that never get to be played with.

He never realized just how much he was hurting, but he had to say not having you at his side made it sting even more.

Yeontan nudged his way into the room and grabbed one of the stuffies, making his skilled exit quickly as taehyung got up

"hey! thats not yours!" he frowned and chased out of the room after the small dog, following him around the living room before running into your room. He gave up and dropped the giraffe by your desk, his tiny legs leading him away to hide.

Taehyung kneeled to pick it up, unable to help the way his eyes scanned over the items on top of your desk.

Unorganized homework for school, binders left open and messy, he smiled a bit at it as he walked over, his arm accidentally pushing some of the books off the side.

"shit" he sighed, leaning down to pick them up.

There was a smaller brown notebook that caught his attention, he didnt want to snoop around your things, but when the front of it says "to my love", its pretty hard to ignore.

He carefully sat on the ground and opened it, feeling wrong for doing so but unable to stop.

The first page was full of your handwriting.

May 11th

so...today I just found out the biggest news of my life. im pregnant, its weird to even write. I just bought this notebook at the flea market because I need to tell someone. Im really scared, and im unsure of what you will think of me. I love you a lot, and I hope I get the chance to gift this to you after all is said and done

suddenly he felt like he was doing something wrong, reading something forbidden.

He scanned over the next page quickly, seeing how you spoke about dedicating this as a future love note for him, a chance to let him see inside your mind.

He tossed it back on top of your desk and sighed softly, he missed you so much and it seems like every second only let that feeling grow.

He wasnt sure what position you two were in, but he loved you dearly, probably a lot more than a person should love another human being.

He hoped you felt the same deep and burning desire.

Thoughts passed into his brain, he realized he was grateful you went through the crazy process of the past few years, in which referred to the friends with benefits situation.

If it never happened, you would have never been this close now.

Little does he know, that miles away from Busan, you laid on the floor of your room too, looking over older texts between the two of you and giggling

even if it was about groceries, or a small message asking him to pick you up from class, it made you smile.

Taehyung and your mom have been the only ones that you can say have never left you, the only ones who are there when you need them.

were you going to let him go over something that can be talked over and fixed?

you looked out the window and silently spoke,

"i'll see you soon”

-

Going back to your old doctor in Gwangju was an odd experience, you had too have been no older than 18 the last time you visited her.

“It seems that everything is going smoothly, and you said you’ve stopped bleeding?”

You nod, fidgeting with the gown you put on as the doctor wrote down everything.

“Your tests seem good, i would say you are coming along healthily after this, which is a good thing, right?” She smiles cheerfully, “do you have any questions for me?”

You shrug, looking up at her “I don’t really know”

She sighed and sat down “y/n, what you went through would be hard on anyone. You are so young and you already are stressed with work and college, and this being thrown on top had to have been difficult right?”

You nod, resting your head in your palm.

“Do you think seeing a therapist would be helpful to you?” She asked sweetly

You quickly sat up “well…im going back to Busan eventually and-”

“I can contact your doctor in Busan and have them find you a therapist”

You sighed deeply, therapy was something you never really considered. Would it help? Maybe. But bottom line was that you never liked discussing your problems, you have always been closed off and the thought of being vulnerable with some stranger is terrifying.

“Look y/n, I’ll send your doctor a note and you can discuss it with her once you go back, how about that?”

You nod reluctantly “okay….”

-

Once you arrived back with your mother at the house, she began to cook something up for lunch as you laid on the couch, cuddling the cat.

She purred in your lap, making you smile.

"how was the appointment?" your mom spoke from the kitchen, peaking over to you as her hands chopped veggies up on a cutting board.

"well...It was fine I suppose"

"just fine?" she smiled, adjusting her glasses, "did she say anything bad?"

"no, no, nothing bad, but just...she wants me to do this therapy thing and I just-"

"oh that sounds like a good plan...I think therapy would be beneficial"

You sigh, looking down at the cat, "well I probably wont be doing it so..yeah"

She stopped cutting, looking over at you "and why is that?"

You simply shrug in reply

"you know theres nothing wrong in getting help...right?"

"yeah but im not sure im ready to go talk to someone yet"

She laughed softly, "thats when you should talk to someone, when you are unsure, get it out before its all locked up"

sitting up a bit, you look back at her, "I guess, I dont know, we will see...."

Your eyes returned back to the tv in front of you as your mother continued to create a meal for the two of you. As a mom, she felt defeated, she knew the other alternative here but knowing you, the reaction may be less than ideal.

The last thing she wants to do is interfere with your current situation, but hey.....

what is a mom if she isn't nosey?

taglist!-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

[mihai-florescu]

wait can i change answers i think hollywood dream suits sena more....

um anway im going to sleep bc i dont think im able to think properly rn......

I like your mind...and i hope you feel better now! I know you said you have a cold so i hope you recover quickly! And if youd want to come off anon at any point, you are more than welcome...♡

Speaking of sena, it reminded me of a tweet i made on priv last month. Just the first part, but i still stand by the last sentence so i wanted to share it too

[kunikisss]

counterattack question.top 5 favorite arctic monkeys songs

HELLO 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🔥🔥🔥

this is gonna get long im gonna have to cut the post. 🫨

first of all. i’m so sorry for not responding earlier dude idk why i took this long tbh.

partially probs cos it was hard to pick out a top FIVE like top 10 i might be able to do more easily but this felt like i was betraying some songs lmaoo

but thank you so much for asking‼️‼️:D this gave me a reason to yap and i appreciate it v much!!!!!! yeah im going into detail. yeaahh😈😈😈

- 7

i dont think i’ve ever. read the actual lyrics of this one and i don’t think i understand all of it js from listening. i realize this now. BUT WHAT MATTERS IS THAT THE INSTRUMENTAL IN THIS GOES HARD BROO. ive watched guitar covers of it SO MANY TIMES they never disappoint. its the first song i wanna learn on guitar if i get one hhjhhhhrrkrhhrhhhh

- teddy picker

i remember hearing this one when i was still a wee ignorant child. (around a year ago) and a FAKE arctic monkeys fan. i used to only listen to AM... yeah.. i know.... stumbles back from the tomatos that were just thrown at me.. but anyways spotify would be like ‘youll probably enjoy this 😏’ & sprinkle in some other songs when i’d listen to am on my way to school & i heard teddy picker a couple of times and it just stuck as one of my forever faves. i was like woah this sounds soo different from how they usually- BECAUSE U ONLY LISTENED TO ONE ALBUM anyways

- arabella

arabella. 😭😭😭😭 my BABY!!! the song that made me fall in love w/ am. i heard it in a um. leon kennedy edit? that a classmate showed me and didn’t pay it much mind, but then. once it just got STUCK in my head and i remember humming it while showering and i was like wtf.. what is this song what.. and then i REMEMBERED & shazamed that motherfucker and listened to arabella on repeat forever and ever. HAVE YOU HEARD THAT BRIDGE???? GAWD DAMNNN

it holds a special place in my heart <3

- cigarette smoke (yeag.. i prefer the demo over the actual thing.. bc im just cool like that.. heh)

yeah i. idk man💥 nope i lied i actually do. i love it so much because it (along w/ the rest of beneath the boardwalk) is rough around the edges, raw and u could say. childish? the snorting coke off a stripper’s thigh line? edgy teen typa shit i LOVE IT. and at the end alex like. growls basically and it sounds so satisfying to me for some reason LMAOO

- potion approaching

okay so i made this 3.5hr am playlist when i got like OBSESSED obsessed with them in the beginning of this year’s March and for some reason i DIDN’T add potion approaching & some other songs i absolutely adore now?? i listened to them again about a month ago and i realized how STUPID i was for not liking them and flash forward to now i’m legally married to this song !!♡ (again. the instrumental FUCKS omfg it’s so good)

and ofc.. honorable mentions (there’s gonna be a lot): catapult, when the sun goes down, fake tales of san francisco, brianstorm, balaclava, science fiction, she looks like fun, wavin’ bye to the train or the bus, temptation greets you like your naughty friend, leave before the lights come on. ALL OF HUMBUG.

i hope this doesn’t feel like im forcing you to listen to these LMAO

again, tysm for asking & i’m sorry for taking this long !!

[srjlvr]

hiii omg idk if you're open for requests rn 😭

but if you are, i just saw something on tiktok and jsjsjsjsj this is literally the first thing that came into my mind 😭😭😭 it's something about a girl filming her boyfriend's reaction to her seating at the back seat and like i was wondering if you could do it with enha hshshs if it's okay, but it's also fine if it's not~ hope you have a nice day today!! i love your works sm <3

notes💕

awwww the idea is so cute!! and i had SO MUCH fun writing this!! my requests are always open!! thank you so much for requesting!! hope i stood your expectations and im sorry for doing that so late!!🥹🫶🏻 im also pretty sure most of them dont have driver’s licenses but let’s just pretend they do!!

© srjlvr , pls don’t copy/translate any of my works without permission ! | reblogs and comments are very appreciated !

𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍

. . ҂ Enhypen’s reaction to their s/o sitting at the backseat ! . . ҂

. . ҂ Genre: fluff … ot7!Enhypen X Reader . . ҂

— Heeseung ♡

I’m sure this boy will be confused as hell

Would go like “but you like sitting in the passenger seat…”

Won’t force you to sit next to him but would be scared as fuck because he’ll start thinking he did something to piss you off.

“Are you angry at me…? Did i do something wrong?” He gave you those cute pleading eyes and you couldn’t help it but laugh, “No you didn’t, it’s a trend!! And you’re being filmed right now!” You pointed at your phone and kept laughing at his shocked expression.

— Jay ♡

Would look at you weirdly as soon as you enter the backseat.

He would probably go like “i think you skipped a part”

Won’t tell you anything and wait for you to say something about it.

“Aren’t you going to say anything about me sitting in the backseat?” He looked at you confused, “Thought about letting you realize it alone” He chuckled and stopped the car to let you get to the passenger seat. “It was filmed for a tiktok by the way” You turned to him and he made an “oh” face and you nodded, shaking your head disappointedly.

— Jake ♡

A LOST PUPPY PLSSSSS would give you those puppy eyes this bae is so confused.

Would immediately go like “Did i do something wrong?”

Would start driving anyway but would stop in the middle to confront you about it.

“Um, a question” He turned to you who looked clueless, “Why aren’t you sitting next to me?” He pout as you suddenly started smiling and giggling, “Wha—“ “It’s a trend!! I waited for some reaction and got it” You laughed, “Say hi to the camera!!” You waved at the camera and he too, waved embarrassedly.

— Sunghoon ♡

Literally clueless, didn’t notice that at first.

Would go like “uh oh what happened”

Obviously wants you to sit next to him but won’t tell you about it.

“Is it comfortable for you behind there?” He asked. “Hm? oh yeah it kinda is” You chuckled. “But i turned the ac off there” He murmured, “Did you say something?” “Nope, but are you sure it’s comfortable there? I mean it’s way more comfortable in the passenger sit” Before you could say anything, he stopped driving, waiting for you to move next to him. “It’s all filmed you know” You giggled, “At least i look good”

— Sunoo ♡

He noticed the camera as soon as he got into the car, he’s an ace at finding cameras. He still played along though.

If he didn’t happen to find the camera he would probably feel guilty and would go like “I definitely did something wrong”

Decides to tease you for a bit and wait for you to say something about it.

“Didn’t you notice something is different today?” You pointed out, “Hm? Not really, why?” He was looking at you through the front mirror. “I’m not sitting in the passenger seat” “Oh, i’ve noticed that, is it fun there?” He teasingly asked. “Alright stop driving im moving next to you” You moved next to him, pouting and looking out of the window. Before continuing to drive he pecked your cheek, “I know it’s filming” He pointed at the camera and giggled.

— Jungwon ♡

Mind. Is. Processing. Would literally take him years to understand what happened😭

Would go like “They always sit next to me…”

Even before he starts to drive he would open the backseat door and would take your hand and guide you to the passenger seat.

“This is your usual seat, you’re just confused today” He giggled and you couldn’t help it but laugh. He tilted his head in confusion, “You’re being filmed baby! It’s a trend that’s going on right now on tiktok and i decided to try it” You kept laughing and hugged him, “Your reactions are priceless” You pecked his cheek and pat his back.

— Riki ♡

Oh this boy is on TikTok 24/7 so he KNOWS your plan.

Would go like “Not today baby” with giggles.

Before he starts the car, he goes to sit next to you in one of the backseats with a smile.

“Aren’t you supposed to drive?” You looked confusedly at him, “I am, aren’t you supposed to sit in the passenger seat next to me?” He snapped back. You giggled and moved to the passenger seat, “You know that—“ “It’s being filmed, i know” He chuckled and started driving.

[crimsonkenjii-writes]

I dont use tumblr a lot so if this is the wrong. Area? Then sorry lol but I have REQUEST

🌸💖

Giyu x Reader.

Reader, being a naturally touchy person with friends (hand holding/hugs) and still respects boundries, giving Giyu hugs and him enjoying them more over time.

I hope that makes sense oof have a good day uwu 🌸💖🌸💖

You asked for a request in the right area ^^

And it made sense lol this is a really cute request ty ʕ⇀ᴥ↼ʔ♡

Warning I accidentally made it a little long lmao I love writing super soft Giyuu stuff ♡✧ ٩(•̀ᴗ•́)۶

-ˏˋ♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩̥̩ ⑅ ⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ

-ˏˋ♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩̥̩ ⑅ ⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ

You’re a very touchy person. You’d always hug your friends, hold hands, give high fives, etc. You were basically always touching someone.

It became known fact amongst all the other slayers that you were very touchy. Which worried Tomioka Giyuu.

He enjoyed your company, he really did, but he was so unfamiliar with physical contact that he always became rigid around it. Giyuu thought it wouldn’t be a big deal because no one ever really talks to him. So you wouldn’t talk to him either, right? No talking, no physical touch. He’d be able to escape the awkward situation without coming off as rude. Giyuu was afraid to tell you not to touch him and that it’d come off rude, make you cry and then everyone would hate him for it. It was all too much for him to handle.

But alas, you gained an interest in the solitary man. Something about him was very charismatic that it drew you in.

-

It was another calm morning as you walked into Master Kagaya’s shared garden. It was open to all slayers, as a way to calm down and just have somewhere quiet to sit for anyone who needed it at any time.

You were walking your usual path until you spotted messy black hair trough the wisteria. You realized it was the Water Hashira and got excited to greet him. You walked around the flower bed calling out to him,

“Tomioka-Saaaannn!! Good morning!!” You put your arms out to give him a hug. Giyuu was surprised because he didn’t expect to see you in the garden. The fact that your arms were held out for him went completely over his head.

“Ah, Y/N, good morn-“ he jolted and his body went rigid. You had trapped him in a hug. He felt his face starting to heat up as he awkwardly stood there, his arms pinned to his sides.

You felt how stiff he went and let go. You stepped back to look him in the eyes while noticing a faint blush spread across his face. “Tomioka-San, do you not like hugs??”

The raven haired man stammered over his words. He didn’t know if he should tell the truth or not. Or maybe just keep quiet?? He was embarrassed of all possible answers that ran through his head.

“I’m…. It’s not that I don’t…. I just…. Don’t…receive them, um, often….” He felt his face burning, he was super embarrassed of this entire situation. The cute slayer approached him in one of his little hideouts, called out his name, hugged him, he went tense instead of hugging back like a normal person, his mind was jumbled.

“Oh, I’m so sorry I hugged you without asking first then!” You apologized, reaching out your hand as comfort but quickly retracted it.

Giyuu looked down at you, seeing that you were genuinely sorry. His heart fluttered as he tried hiding behind his hair. “It’s alright…” he mumbled out

-

Days went by and you and Giyuu were talking a lot more. The entire time you’d always have to catch yourself and restrain from touching Giyuu. You wanted to be able to respect his boundaries and not make him uncomfortable.

However, Giyuu did really crave your touch. He just didn’t know how to go about it. He would stiffen each time and he didn’t know how to find the words to ask you to touch him. Even wording it his head came off weird! He would see you being touchy with everyone else from a distance and would wonder how he could get the same contact.

-

Neither you or Giyuu had a mission today so you both decided to just hang out for the day. You decided to go for a stroll in Kagaya’s garden again. It was quiet, pretty and secluded. It was really nice place to talk with Giyuu.

While in conversation, you made yourself laugh and your hand reached out to Giyuu, holding his arm. You realized and quickly pulled away again.

“Oh I’m sorry, Giyuu” you managed between chuckles.

Giyuu sat quietly, his gears turning in his head.

“You don’t have to be sorry…” he managed out softly. You tilt your head in confusion, waiting for him to elaborate.

“I… don’t mind you being touchy…” he paused for a second and hid deeper in his hair. “It’s nice. I’m just… awkward…”

You smiled brightly. You were glad to hear that he didn’t mind being touched. Not that you thought he was disgusted by you or anything, you understood where he was coming from. Physical touch was just one of your love languages so being able to hug Giyuu would be amazing for you.

“I understand, Giyuu. I’ll help you ease into it! I’ll refrain from hugging but maybe we could eventually greet each other like that everyday!” You beamed brightly, slightly touching his shoulder.

Giyuu looked at you and couldn’t help but let a small smile tug at his lips. He hesitantly placed his hand above yours. “Thank you, Y/N. I’d like that too.”

You heart fluttered and your cheeks started to burn. His hand was harsh and calloused but also at the same time so soft, warm and inviting. And his smile sent a spark through you body. You never realized how rare it actually was for him to smile.

-

You did exactly as your promised and started off with very light touches. Stuff like a hand on his shoulders and arms; little pats on the back; fist bumps and high-fives as greetings.

You even saw a difference in Giyuu. He was starting to become less clenched when you touched him. He was more relaxed and more okay with it. It made you both very happy.

Later on, you were able to side hug Giyuu as a greeting. He became very flustered but still managed to reciprocate.

“Was that okay, Giyuu? It’s wasn’t too much, was it?”

He covered his face with his hand in a bad attempt to hide his blush and looked away, “No… it was fine, Y/N. I liked it…”

-

Months passed and you had gotten really close with Giyuu. It was rare to see you two apart now. You both had grown to really like each other.

Today was another day with Giyuu in the garden. You walked along the gravel pathway. The small stones crunching under your feet with each step. You found Giyuu on his usual bench and ran up to him.

“Giyyuuuu!!” You called out in a singing tone. He smiled and stood up to greet you. This time, both of his arms were out to invite you into a hug. Your heart did a somersault in your chest. You held your arms out as well and dove into him, bringing him into a tight hug. It sent electricity through your body to finally be able to feel his arms around your body this time. His body radiated a comforting warmth and he smelt very good.

“Giyuu!” You looked up at him from his chest, “You greeted me with a hug!!”

Giyuu couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.

“Of course, Y/N. This was the main goal wasn’t it? You helped me get more comfortable with physical affection… Thank you…” he said sheepishly.

You could feel your heart beating out of you chest. He had no right looking and acting that cute. You became flustered and buried your face back into his chest to try and helplessly hide your growing blush. You felt his chest vibrate with his laugh and could also hear his heart beating just as fast.

-

“Y/N.”

You jumped in surprise and turned to see Giyuu. You smiled and went in for a quick hug.

“You dingus, you scared me.” All he did was laugh.

He shifted his weight on his feet and rubbed his thumbs against his fists. You noticed he was acting a bit nervous but didn’t say anything. You thought you’d make him more nervous if you pointed it out.

Giyuu hesitates for a second before speaking, “I wanted to try something else out..” he mutters faintly.

You hum in response, “And what’s that?”

He holds out his hand, waiting for you to also hold out yours. You curiously bring your hand out towards his, thinking maybe it was some sort of new friendship handshake.

He takes a hold of your hand and grazes his thumb across your knuckles. His moves his hand upwards and pushes it against yours, his fingers slowly sliding down yours before they intertwined. He kept his hand there, holding it tightly waiting for your response. You could feel his hand shaking a little.

You eyes sparkle when you look back up at him. Your heart threatened to beat out of your chest. Was this what you thought it was? Was this his subtle way of confessing? Did the man you felt so magnetized to really reciprocate the same feelings you tried to keep hidden away for all these months?

“Giyuu…” you breathe out.

He looks into your eyes, his usual sharp, dulled colored blue eyes were now soft with a hint of shine.

“I’d also like to try something else… if you don’t mind…” he was now speaking barely above a whisper. His face slowly coming closer and closer to yours as his eyes flickered between your eyes and lips.

You breathed out a sigh of satisfaction before both your lips collided, the warmth of the kiss enveloping you both into a state of euphoria. His hand slowly raised to hold the side of your face to deepen the kiss.

“I’ve really grown to like you, Y/N…” he softly spoke just barely above your lips.

“I really like you too, Giyuu…” you replied back in the same volume. Your hand reached up to stroke his messy hair.

[dream-a-little-longer-1]

This suddenly popped out of my mind while reading the request about Y/N having a bad day/exhausted from her work alshshsh how about doctor!y/n who came from the future or y/n from 21st century time travelling to their time and they were like "who tf are you how did u get in" with the Moriarty brother. Thank you for your work btw! Hope you're doing great and take care ❤️🥰

Ohhhh...this is actually a nice idea!i think they'll freak out with how different the reader is from them lol.

Enjoy!

✧*.｡*♡✧*.｡*♡✧*.｡*♡✧*.｡*♡✧*.｡*♡✧*.｡*♡

Albert

•when he stares down at the young girl in front of him

•and after rubbing his eyes,he decides to really get off drinking

•because there is no way that someone like you,is standing in front of him

• "who...are you exactly?"

•when you look up,and straighten your white overcoat,he has to take moment to tear his eyes from you

• "im y/n. Who the hell are you?"

•Albert briefly forgets who he is

• "no,nevermind. Tell me the date."

•when Albert does,your mouth hangs open,and you sway on your feet

• "are you alright?what happened?"

•when you stutter out that you're from the 21st century,and how you're a doctor

•how everything is different from here,Albert feel like he understands something about you

•at least that explains your odd behavior and clothing

•he leads you to the living room couch,and pushes very gently at your shoulders so you can sit down

• "dont worry, we'll figure this out."

•and when you look up at those emerald green eyes,you can only nod

•actually,you don't mind staying for awhile if Albert is staying by your side

William

•William doesnt know what to make of the scene in front of him

•a young girl,dressed in white overcoat (?) Of some kind

•staring up at him like he's one of the greatest mysteries in the world

• "um...who are you?"

•who is he...?

• "William James Moriarty. And you are?"

• "y/n."

•well... that's certainly a strange name...

• "sir. Can i ask what day today is?"

•and when his answer makes your eyes widen

•your breath quickens,and you whip around to stare around you

•William knows something is wrong

•and he's made sure of it when you start whisper how its impossible and it just cant be

•when he takes a hold of your shoulders,and tells you to take a deep breath and tell him whats wrong

•he's hit with a strange headache when you finish talking

•William knows its...not impossible. Everything is possible in this world after all

•but he also understands why you're panicking

•so when he takes your hand and leads you toward a big mansion he calls his home

•you take a deep breath and decide to trust him

•maybe...this isnt such a bad thing,not when you have such a handsome man by your side

Louis

•when you tug at his sleeve to get his attention

•and ask a strange question

• "im sorry sir,but will you tell me what date today is?"

•Louis looks at you confusedly,before answering your question

•and when you sigh and sit down on the ground with a defeated look on your face

•Louis decides to ignore your odd outfit

•and your odd behavior,to crouch down in front of you

•he asks you to take a deep breath,and when you tell him everything in shaky voice

•he cant help but to stare at you blankly

•and if it was someone else,they might've called you crazy,but Louis is not like them

•he sees your distraught look,and your pleading eyes

•and decides to believe in every single word you say

•but first

•he needs to make sure you're ok and safe

•so when he asks you to go to his home with him,you agree

•already too fond of the young man who's eyes shine so brightly

•and his presence give you the comfort you need

[spookykittyboo]

okayyy so um- i have so many ideas but i won't spam you. 😭 could you write something where michael has a very chaotic and clingy s/o? yknow, total opposite of what he is. it would be interesting to see the way you write it out. 🖤

The Touch Of Her

HOPE THIS WORKS CAUSE I SUCK. U HAD IT COMING😶😶

Warning: slight mention of seggs, fluff, pissy old myer he cute tho

Old man! Myers

♡♡♡

•Michael is DEFFINITELY not the type who is lovey dovey, clingy or even all over you.

•Keep in mind, the man is pushing 60s, so he's bitchy and gets annoyed easily.

•Sure, he loves you. A lot. Too much. In a very not normal amount! But he only show little of that.

•You, on the other side... You're all over him, always touching him, holding his arm, little kisses here and there. You are the opposite of the shape himself.

•But he does love your chaotic side, how youre fucking impulsive.

•Helps a lot in the bedroom

•Psss! Peepaw Myers gets worry everytime you go out of your own way and act bad shit insane, even he cant handle it. Sometimes.

•Sometimes he just put you over his shoulder, and takes you away. Then comes the scolding or a hotass punishment

•As for your clingy side....

• You dont get much reaction. On a good day, he just lets you linger around him while he sits down and stare into nothing or watching tv. Doesnt mean he wont let out a huff, in annoyance, or sligthly move his hands to show his dislike.

•You never really mind all of it, as long as he still let you and doesnt show any major dislike signs, nothing's gonna change.

•Untill one day, you thought about giving him a little space. You were writing something on your little red book. In the dining room

• Michael walked calmly towards you, you can heard perfectly, each of his steps as your hand wrote words on the half filled paper

•You knew he was there. Behind you. He was looking down at you with his emotionles mask.

•You turned your head and saw the man who is growing old by days.

•"Michael? What's wrong?" You gave him a worried face. Your hand caressed his right arm.

•He didnt say a word. Not A Word.

•So you took his right arm to the front and you leaned your head on it.

• With your other hand, lingering on his finger

•He loved it. He didnt tell you. But he loved it.

•The affection means nothing but pure gold, he was never taste the touch of love as a kid.

•So with you here, even after a long time, he is so happy with your affection and the touch you gives him

•Secretly, he loves the touch of you

[tambay-things]

8/30

june 14, tuesday

💜TODAY

thunderstorm today sheesh. i watched the lightnings appear and waited for their corresponding thunder to follow :)

super super happy i did all but 2 smol tasks today. nothing out of the ordinary today cos my plans this week start tomorrow heheh.

learned how to utilize google's productivity apps

rearranged my music playlists(inspired by yesterdays prompt)

cleaned and organised my notes app for school

followed along blogilates's intense before bed stretches o_o definitely was a challenge. so it was fun HAHAHHSA

got used to the new phone home layout i created :>

💜PROMPT

"do you read? if yes, what are your favorites?"

im more of a watching videos instead of reading kinda gal so um. oh i do have a book i read this year its kafka on the shore by haruki murakami☆ this is the first book i read from a japanese writer and like. studio ghibli vibes? but this ones more realistic and for 18+. i wasnt able to finish it tho :p

my other fav thing to read are reddit stories lmao

💜SOMETHING I LOVE

black swan by bts

💜THOUGHTS

borahae!! happy anniversary to bts♡ labyu guyss keep doing whatever makes you guys happy i dont mind. theres so much content i have yet to enjoy cos of ur hardwork.

you guys good energy and aura really meets me and im so grateful for that alr. your songs and videos give me hope comfort motivation and happiness. like srsly u guys set the bar so high you protected me from so much bad vibes i wouldve gotten into. should i mention how bts got me into music?? omg rm those lives with you explaining each element in the song and their meaning from ur pov inspired me so much the fuck gad not to mention how the first few dance choreos i learned was of bts AAA it was gogo and dope(ik, not the best for a beginner) but u guys rly were my good influence while growing up :'/ also gave me something to be happy about in my life

okk that suddenly turned into a rant0.0 welp

[kkoulogies]

Hi new follower here 👀 I HAVENT READ ANY OF YOUR FICS YET BUT YOUR BLOG LOOKS SO INTERESTING HFJDJKS

I want to request smtg for kyojuro but my brain is literally all mushy that i cant think of anything 😭

Um maybe kyojuro likes reader who is very shy and then when he was abt to confess, he just hold her hands and she got all flustred hfjdjsj

(This has been on my mind ever since day 1 he appeared)

YOU CAN IGNORE THIS IF YOURE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT (im very chaotic with my words ik 😭)

﹕ ˚ ♡ ꒱ ᚑ ̇ ✦ ︶︶︶ ꒷︶ ꒦ ݉ ܼܼ ̇ ܼ ⊹ ︶ ꒷ RENGOKU KYOJURO ;; FLUFF ︶꒷꒰𑁬﹔" ADORABLE FLAME . " ﹕ ˚ ♡ ꒱ WARNINGS : NONE || FEM ! READER . ﹕ ˚ ♡ ꒱ SUGGESTED TRACKS : https://open.spotify.com/track/6r44uyKRo3jKFRkThTZBXu?si=05331729cf94468b A/N : KKKKYOJURO ASKS ARE MY FAVORITE MY BRAINROT OF THIS MAN GROWS MORE AND MORE - anyway , i do hope you like this one ! ; REQUESTS ARE OPEN !!

you were shy . like really shy - not the " everyone is big . scary . monster " kinda shy but the " i dont know how to take compliments and word things " kind . rengoku admired this side of you , it was an adorable and interesting contrast to when you're out in the field , fighting for innocent lives and protecting them . he's developed feelings over time and has always wanted to tell you , but knowing both of your lives are constantly on the line he just couldnt , he didnt know how this was going to work . " at least try , wouldn't you rather go out and fight knowing you let her know how you feel about her ? " uzui looked at his sulking friend , the flame hashira looked back at him and thought deeply for a second and just nodded , letting the idea sink in , already deciding that's what he will do . he thanked his friend for the idea before standing up and headed for the butterfly estate , assuming you had already come back from your mission by this time - and he was right . rengoku asked where you were upon his arrival and aoi guided him to the room you were in - it wasnt like you were heavily injured , you were just waiting for shinobu to give you what you needed . " [name]-san ! " he smiled , opening the door - the noise making you turn your head in surprise , realizing it was only the loud flame hashira , you smiled gently , feeling at ease and safe . " kyojuro-san , is there anything you need ? " your voice was soft but it still sounded like a beautiful song to his ears . he just nodded , walking in and making his way towards you . " there's something i've been meaning to tell you ! " you just stare at him , waiting for him to continue . he takes your hand in his , pulling you up so you're standing . " [name]-san , i like you a lot ! would you become mine ? " he asks , eyes staring in to yours , awaiting for an answer . you can feel your face heat up , you didnt know what to say nor how to react , you just hugged him , embracing his warmth and scent while burrying your face into his chest , looking for the words . rengoku just stood there for a minute , eyes going wide before he eventually hugged you back with his smile growing wider . " like ,, i like . i like kyojuro-san too . " you struggled to get the words out , he just chuckled and placed a hand in your hair , ruffling it up a bit . " you're mine now , [name]-chan . "