#so uhh yeah about what I was saying before... lmao

[fiddlezips]

canon events

[danielnelsen]

so if you romance and ascend astarion you can kick him in the balls when he tries to turn you and it’s just very funny, he’s so pissy about it. so much for the most powerful vampire of all time or whatever, he stamps around like a toddler and then leaves forever

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also it's something (better) like, the exercise of deliberately [art imitates life imitates art] holding up Billions to My IRL Things Perspective and going like whaaat would i want for winston. first answer is you want any character to not have been within the scope of the show in the first place, and to exit it since they are. and you kind of get that in the accidental reward in banishing winston, since like in the end it's just that the show doesn't care about him existing at that point But like it's winston sitting there quietly as everyone leaves & turns out the lights & Then he can leave too; others have peaced out & nobody remembers he exists so Now he can go off & do whatever.

but like in true form i think they definitely accidentally baked in another divine reward for winston in that, like, the way he's kept around as fodder for these fun little [pov: enjoy abusing this guy] asides with him, where it Just So Happens that he's autistic as something they're unaware of but is completely relevant to the expectation we understand him to be inferior(tm), it Just So Happens that he's also ""bad"" at not ""causing"" abuse to be turned on him. he's ""bad"" at staying in line. like well yes Yes that's what i want for him. just like In Real Life it's like yeah Ideally i'd want people to be able to extricate themselves from where they're trapped in power structures & i'd want them to have the perspective about it of understanding they're not Inferior / i.e. they are as much a person as anyone else and they're not corrupting everything good / i.e. it wasn't them Bringing It Upon Themselves and it's not them being Destructive by toppling a jenga tower of a hierarchy that happened to be pressing down on them. and winston is the kind of [the ruinerrrrrr] who is Turned On exactly because he keeps acting like someone who's on the verge of breaking out of the [being in line] someone demands of him as autist, employee, whatever other supposed manifestations of [inferior]

like in the 5 second stretches in which winston's allowed to speak before retaliation, it's because he's like "matter of factly" delivering whatever Information that's useful for another plotline. then he Brings It Upon Himself by making people aware that he's Also existing in his own right as a person rather than what they think serves their own deal / what they want from him at all times, perhaps by expressing his personality (didn't appeal to them! so it was Wrong) or not b/c of anything in particular said or done at present, just b/c people have a constant / accumulating contempt for him so their being in the same room as him & able to see & hear him is already dangerous. the [we're just seeing Any Abusive Dynamic in action] continuing apace.

and it's like, well, right there. he's written as acting like someone who doesn't blame himself for how he's treated, which billions frames as being Rude & Mean, and so too does everyone's abusers lmfao like and that these are his moments that are written to be Bringing It Upon Himself. and it's like hell yeah he doesn't blame himself. hell yeah that his self-esteem can manifest as anger at all. hell yeah that he keeps expressing himself with personality & confidence & doesn't even disguise his having been hurt, & it's this [his ass is Not grey rocking] that billions frames as both him "causing" his abuse & making that abuse "successful" lol, wrow just like real life!! and when like speaking of real life yeah it's not "bad" that people Do engage in strategies to mitigate & survive, including things like blaming themselves or being too "boring" to be anything but a non dialogued background character b/c that's all that goes unpunished, it's bad b/c it's done to them at all, not [ohh they're doing it to themselvesss] and like i'm asking myself like Ideally. what do i want Ideally. and i'd want winston to know that it's being Done To Him & i'd want him to find as much room for his personhood & autonomy as possible. and that's basically how he's written anyways, and billions hates that like You See this is why he deserves it this is why he's doing it to himself. and i'm like my god if that's not Inspiration for like "so what if people don't find you Personally Likable" and not preemptively holding back all personality or anything that'd draw attention as if you exist as a person in your own right & not something that only either gets in the way of or serves their wants of a Real person (someone with more power) like hell yeah you have him out here doing it =']

another fun addendum is like, billions isn't getting into it much b/c it doesn't seem to care much about "what if some people were peers & seem to have a genuine, recipcrocal relationship?" but that it just so happened to be like "oh tuk as the next closest loser who deserves it might be nice to winston" while it's framing winston as the "worse" Loser as being....unconditionally supportive of tuk. while the one downside of billions Also giving bentuk as much as it is is that it also inevitably has that shadow of "but ben is Superior to tuk" and like that it's correct that everyone encourages tuk to Stop Bringing It Upon Himself and start being less of a loser; it's wrong for winston to be like hey let's go have a foursome. like yeah probably don't make a list of the women you work with you'd be dtf but it's not like i'm convinced "ah billions and it's strong anti misogyny stance like" roflmao and billions is Not reflecting on "the downsides of unconditional support?" there when winston was beaten up for criticising taylor earlier like we WILL take his ideas while looting his [beaten unconscious] body there but he WAS wrong to express them as though he's BETTER than taylor!!! mafee's beautiful show of loyalty in kicking his ass even when he might agree with the argument and then benefit when it's adopted by taylor anyways! so it's as usual actually purely based on hierarchy & who gets to be in charge of people. it's correct for ben to be in charge of tuk, unless he has to step aside for that bizarre dead-end subplot about how it's tuk's fault if he's treated badly, b/c it's really his own Failure to have Confidence to know he has good ideas [raising our voice to deliver this message over the sound of breaking desks and chairs and computer monitors over winston because he had the confidence to act like he deserved to talk to someone and because he knows his ideas efforts & results are good & valuable around there] like. and isn't it sooo fucked up to talk about who you're dtf in the episode that has it be neutral if your boss is dtf & lets you know but is nice about it (and you're already Correctly tending to their ego, which you're responsible for!) like hey no possible problem! it's not even so much of a problem for a boss man to have the sex they're entitled to & be rude about their leveraging their power in that acquisition that it Stays a problem into the next season. ew, winston is Known (Inferred) Dtf??? we'll use it to exploit His vulnerability, exacerbate it, & punish him further for good measure in another episode that just revels in abuse & violation with a sexual aspect once again, but like, hey tuk don't do that, winston's such a Bad Influence for being like, shrug, kneejerk intervening with the Good Friendship where the One In Charge leaps in & Tells tuk the Correct thing to do. obviously there's also the tragedy that billions will Never let winston push back against Real Winners like rian or taylor in A Way That Matters (actually gets in their way at all) lol like. one thing that would have really been fun, winston should've literal kneejerk started physically fighting wags in either pertinent scene in 7x03 for real 110%. i wouldn't be like Gasp Violence Is Never The Answer if he just hit someone to hit them b/c fuck you. or broke anything on his way out etc etc. billions would Never let him. which is the other side of the same coin of [why he should get to]

tl;dr how great that winston's being "out of line" means he's basically always noticeably flouting & rebelling against the [He Deserves Abuse] agenda lol. that IS what i want. his being "beyond hope" like ohhh he's sooo stupid he doesn't realize how much he has the bad tastes & wrong interests & annoying personality He Will Always Be This Way like hell yeah!!! billions like oh no winston's personhood will never stay tamped down & locked away such that some godawful person tolerates keeping him in their inventory :( ohhh the ABA will never work :( that's right!!!!!!!!!! although they're not sad about it because it's about relishing the promise there will always be True Inferiors you can enjoy abusing with your righteous power over, but like well you wrote him escaping anyways even while dragging other "better" characters into standing around to serve axe's need for more than 1.8 employees and [crickets, reverberating cough, sneaker scuff] like. another ""wrong"" thing for winston to do, another thing for him to not "deserve," which is itself godawful actually lol like lord what it "rewards" its Good, Deserving characters with, no thanks. meanwhile winston's punishment is that he's autistic and """bad""" at being abused like lmfao good for him, fantastic for him, just what i want

[octoberautumnbox]

Orange-Tinted Sunset

Kiss of Life Belle & Male Reader

Categories/warnings: fluff, smut, angst, mentions of alcohol n bein drunk, technically not cheating but also sorta close enough idk u be the :jujj:

Word count: 2.6k

a/n: another prompt fic! based on kiof's Nothing i swear im on hiatus lmao but here it is! thanks to @mintwithchoco for prompt and hosting! as well as @sinswithpleasure for beta and @0cta9on for saying i was good at everything so i crode strove to prove em wrong lmao

~~~

The nightclub spun around you, the alcohol clouding your thinking and doubling your vision. A strange feeling set in–you really were a guppy in a small pond. Whatever roaring applause you got from the crowd after that impromptu karaoke bout was nothing compared to the girl that came next. You can’t even work up the energy to be mad; her voice is the single most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard, flowing through the air and filling up every silence in the world, and it doesn’t help one bit that everyone else thought so too.

Her name, just her name. You wouldn't mind going home with nothing to show for the whole weekend as long as you knew what she was called–you have to know. Against every single ounce of common sense you have left, you walk up to her, calling in every favor from the universe you’ve saved up until this point. “H-hey,” you stumble, clearly more nervous than you should be. 

She turns around, and as her hair settles onto her back, she replies, “Oh, hi. Can I help you?” Her smile lights up your world, and you gain confidence and lose it again just as quickly. She’s gorgeous too, and how could you live with yourself if you fucked up with a girl like this again? 

And you realize you’re staring. “Hi,” you start again, “sorry, I, uhh, you killed it up there. Best I've heard in a while.” Pardon yourself for the understatement; she was exceptional. Stop yourself from saying more; she’s probably already heard everything you want to tell her. 

All she does is giggle in response, and you swear you’re face-to-face with a goddess. You slip, so just fall deeper and remember to blame the alcohol later on, “I mean it. You’re like nothing I’ve heard before. Can I ask for your name?” 

Her face sours almost imperceptibly, but your nerves don’t let you miss it. She holds back a grimace, but ultimately, she replies, “It’s Belle. Sorry, is that all? I have to go soon.” She shifts in her chair, no doubt trying to escape the situation, and it dawns on you you might look worse than you feel. 

“Y-yeah, that’s all. I actually wanted to buy you a drink, maybe. One musician to another. You were amazing.” Your voice holds together for the most part, but it doesn’t change her demeanor. 

“Thank you, it’s just…” she hesitates, breathing deep, “whatever this is, I don’t want to get involved. You’re nice, but I just… I can’t handle anything else right now.” The discomfort leaves her features as a quiet sadness replaces it. You’re no expert, but even a dunce like you could tell she was tired more than anything else. 

“No worries, I respect it. I’ll leave you alone.” It’s strange how you feel the lightheadedness drifting away and your senses coming back, almost like you’ve saved up quite a bit of good karma to ground yourself like this. Debatable, but you still have enough sense in you to offer, “Here’s my number, no hard feelings if you throw it away. I at least wanna buy you some nachos tonight as thanks for that gorgeous song. Good night, Belle,” before paying for them and ultimately heading for the door, above all trying in vain to forget about her. 

~~~

It’s familiar in two ways, being hungover at noon, sitting in a restaurant too fancy for what you’d ever typically be found dead in. On one hand, it reminds you of one of the best days of your life–your beloved sat across from you in a simple floral sundress while you shared a brunch of French toast and orange juice. 

“Thanks for coming out,” Belle said in a tiny voice, “I'm sorry about last night. I want to get to know you better.” She offers you a pancake, and once you accept she deposits it onto your plate, followed by a just-right helping of maple syrup. 

You try to avoid sounding humble, but there’s no other way to put it. “There's not much to know, really. I just came here on a whim. Needed to get away from it all, broaden my horizons. Us singers just gotta, you know? If I didn't, I'd never have found you.” 

“I hear you. I'm here to take a step back too. Things became too much to handle recently,” she relates as she takes careful bites of her cereal. For the first time since last night, you see each other's eyes, and a kindred spirit in you pulls on your heartstrings. It's an unspoken pain that's anything but obvious, and yet you see it in each other as clear as day. 

“Fucking exes, right?” the pair of you say in unison. A hearty laugh escapes both of you, and afterwards the pancakes slide down a bit easier. 

Belle calms herself first, “So you get how I was last night. I'm sorry, none of it was your fault.” You offer her a napkin and pour her another cup of ginseng tea, which she sips with an ethereal sort of grace once she finishes talking.

“Of course. I'm sorry too,” you sigh, picking at your scrambled eggs, “but at least we're recovering. I'm actually itching to write a new song once my hangover clears.”

“Me too, it’s just so freeing to let my feelings out onto songs. Plus all it costs is a pen and paper–much cheaper than therapy,” she agrees.

On the other hand…

~~~

“Blue palm trees?” she giggles. “What does that mean?”

The waves lap idly at your feet, scattering sand over your toes and hers. The calming ocean breeze washes over the both of you and weakly ruffles the paper she easily holds.

“It's called a hook, Belle. It captures the audience's attention, you should know this shit” you jab, drawing out more of her laughter. “Just let me be, okay? I'm the one with the pencil.”

She settles again, “Okay, okay, fine,” and sits back up straight. Another wave washes the sand away from the tops of your feet, dragging them back to the depths of the sea. In a split-second of feeling the grains slide off your skin and away with the water, you feel deep inside that maybe it'll be easier to walk again. 

“You know,” she starts gently, “this isn't too bad. I came here determined to grow stronger, but I don't feel any different–just more of what I was before. And weirdly…” Belle pauses, taking a short glance at you, meeting your eyes.

You can't help it; she's just that beautiful. The orange-tinted sunset behind her offers her a halo of warmth and sincerity, and it captivates your whole being to be able to spend a moment like this again, when the world is just right, especially with her. The waterline reaches up to your soles once more, tickling the both of you and sprinkling new grains between your toes before drawing back and taking the old away. 

“... Weirdly,” you continue for her, “I'm okay with that.” Your eyes never leave hers, and she stays, too. It takes a moment of serenity for you to finally let yourself think that this might be something more, that maybe it wouldn’t be the end of the world to stay with a girl like her. 

It takes a moment of serenity for you, but it seems like forever in an instant. Memories rush back like the ocean soaks the shoreline, swapping old sand with new, but you could never, can never, tell the difference. It's the same grains washing your feet, slipping between your toes, embedding themselves in your life so well that random moments like this bring you to the past when you least expect it. It reminds you of a history you'd give anything to forget: walking on a beach like this with a girl you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with–to an extent, you still do. How could you fuck up with a girl like that?

~~~

It's the worst gamble the both of you could take, and deep inside you knew there was no winning this. You felt it in your bones, from the beach to the elevator up until before you burst through her door with her, but the feeling is gone now, and for sure it’s gone for her too.  

“Mmm, just like that,” she whispers straight into your ear. You swear you’ve never tasted anything as sweet as the sweat on her neck, so much so that you never want your lips to leave her. She pulls you closer as if she could, maybe only decreasingly aware that her back was up against the wall and that even grains of sand couldn’t breathe in the space between you two. 

It takes no time at all, and you find yourself laid back and vulnerable on her mattress. Belle towers over you, straddling to keep you in place, as if you’d go anywhere. In a flash her shirt leaves her, then her shorts, and finally her underwear haphazardly thrown to the floor. Your own clothes follow even less ceremoniously, letting nothing get in the way of the woman of your dreams. 

“Fuck, that’s good…” she says as she lowers herself onto your length. You relish in the feeling of sliding into her, pushing her walls apart all the while lewd confessions spill from her lips. Your hands find her hips and you grip her tight, guiding her up and down as she bounces on your cock, “You’re so fucking tight, Belle…” while she places her hands on your chest to support herself as she takes you inside her over and over again, “I can’t get enough of you… I need you so bad…” losing yourself in her love. 

It’s the simplest thing to grab her wrists like this, to throw her onto the bed and fuck her yourself. She hits the mattress with a quiet thud, and without even a moment of respite you force everything into her again. 

“Gnnhhh, shit, it’s so good, you’re so good…” she gasps and grunts with every thrust like it knocks the air out of her each time. The bed creaks under the two of you: she tries to pull you close again, so you indulge her and meet her where she is to kiss. Amidst your tongues dancing in each other’s mouths, she moans like her life depends on it, “Yes, yes, oh my god, yes–” 

It’s the easiest thing to get lost in a girl like her. She’s perfect in every way you can think of–a smile to die for, a heart to protect, a body to worship. Each moment you bottom out in her, a spark goes off between your lips and hers, and it only pulls you in deeper, pulls you away farther from where you are. There’s nothing else to think about when you’re with a girl like this except her name and the way her body feels on yours. It’s so dreadfully incessant, unceasing in your head, that you thank your lucky stars you’re able to hold back most of your moans: Yuna, Yuna, Yuna, “Yuna…”

~~~

The sun blazes through the window and straight onto your eyelids, jolting you awake. The bed creaks as you bounce slightly on the mattress, your mind rushing to find your bearings, when right beside you, Belle stirs but then promptly falls back asleep. 

A grave sense of guilt overtakes you, clawing from the pit of your stomach all the way up to the back of your throat. There's nothing to say to her, nothing to do, and you know it. How could you fuck up with a girl like this? 

Your phone's alarm rings on a far-off table. Rush over to it, careful but quick so Belle doesn't wake. You knock over an ottoman in the process, but you're able to turn it off in time. Then it hits you: your flight leaves in a couple hours. There's no more time to think–gather your clothes and rush back to your own hotel. 

“Hour and a half,” you think, “more than enough time to repack and go.” Your door crashes open and you heave your suitcase onto the bed, haphazardly throwing everything you own back into it. The zipper disagrees with you for a moment until you finally bend it to your will, albeit threatening its life in the process.

The cabbie drives as fast as he can legally go for you, apparently already knowing the protocol, and people and buildings whizz past in a giant blur. He drops you off soon enough, and with only minutes to spare and the gate calling you over the intercom, you board your plane. The cold of the seat comforts you and calms your nerves, and once the hurried energy leaves your body, all that's left is fatigue that demands to be addressed. 

You scarcely notice the window beside you beyond pulling it shut. The cushions aren't as comfy as your bedding from the night before, but you can't attempt to complain in a state like this. You don't even feel your train of thought slipping away…

~~~

You’ve put it off long enough, the anxiety rending the lining of your stomach. In between your own calls and texts to Yuna you find yourself on the receiving end of the restlessness of your endlessly repeating ringtone and text notifications. You wait another few seconds to make sure she’s done, even tossing your phone onto your old bed to fetch a glass of water, before picking it back up and seeing the same number of messages. It's time. 

hey, where'd you go? Belle, 8:46 AM

it's a nice song, I'll send it over in a bit. call me? Belle, 8:50 AM

I'm at the restaurant again lol come on over Belle, 9:02 AM

you're really gonna make me miss you huh? hahaha Belle, 9:33 AM

*2 missed calls*

this isn't funny. pick up Belle, 10:14 AM

*2 missed calls*

you're serious? so last night was nothing to you? Belle, 11:15 AM

*1 missed call*

wow, what a fucking piece of shit you are Belle, 11:17 AM

*4 missed calls*

is it something i said?  Belle, 2:46 PM

let's just talk Belle, 3:30 PM

*2 missed calls*

just tell me what I did wrong please, I told you I can't handle this Belle, 3:37 PM

*8 missed calls*

don't do this to me Belle, 5:47 PM

*1 missed call*

fine asshole i don’t need you and fuck your song. Belle, 7:15 PM

don’t ever call me. Belle, 8:40 PM

The screen dims under your command. Your phone flies off into the folds of your bed once more, granting you your last moment of control. Belle finally stopped, and Yuna never made herself heard. At least one of you moved on.

You stand in your cold, empty bedroom, in the same dingy apartment you tried leaving behind. The same torn-up pages are scattered across the floor, the same stains on the carpet are there to step around, the same picture framed flipped down to hide the old photograph inside like grains of sand getting swept back up to you no matter how hard you try washing them away.

“It's another bottle tonight,” you decide in no time at all. Pull a cold one from the fridge, ignore the other bottles strewn across the room, take a seat at your desk. The lamp buzzes to life, and another sheet finds itself under your pen. 

They never meet. 

~~~

[smallidarityfan]

Theyre scheduling dates with joel guys this is a soap drama AHHSHGSSBS

[transcript]

Jimmy: I am also imagining Joel is gonna log on soon enough and die instantly—

Lizzie: Wait Joel is coming??? You want him to play Minecraft with you???

Jimmy: He's got access to come on, I just— I wish I could spend some quality time with him y'know?

Lizzie: Yeah me too! Me too man.

Jimmy: Yeah I think—

Lizzie: Watch out there's someone behind you tryna push you off a cliff

Jimmy: stop— right now

Sausage: I'M BACK I got kicked out!

Jimmy: That's alright— yeah lemme um lemme give him a message

Lizzie: Wait— Can I— How about you get him Thursdays, I'll do Tuesdays, Hermitcraft can have him... every other day of the week

Jimmy: Wait what— What day's their meeting?

Sausage: Are we talking about Joel?!

Lizzie: Yeah oh maybe Sausage could use a day too

Sausage: Oh can I have Joel too?! Can I have him on like a weird day like a Tuesday, on 4:30 in the afternoon or something...

Lizzie: Okay how about one of you gets him half of Tuesday; someone takes him on the Tuesday morning— But someone's gonna need to feed him as well...—

Jimmy: Uhh...

Sausage: Oh I'll feed him!

Lizzie: —He likes steak...

Jimmy: *laughs* he likes steak...

Sausage: You know what, I cooked a lovely Filet Mignon last night. He can have a piece

Jimmy: I don't know what that is... What is that?

Lizzie: You could probably have him 3 days he'd probably go willingly—

Jimmy: NO I'LL LEARN TO COOK FOR HIM I'LL LEARN!!!

Lizzie: *laughs* You'll learn?!

Sausage: You'll learn to cook a Filet Mignon?! You know what I do work a Sous Vide machine too!

Lizzie: OH MY GOD Stop talking Sausage you'll summon him!

Sausage: UHUH! All I have to say is Sous Vide... Medium Rare... Filet Mignon...

Lizzie: Oh you know just what to say! to steal my man!

Sausage: Hell yeah! Well I do butter basting as well, yup!

Jimmy: —I don't know what any of these words mean but annoyingly I know Joel would know? So that makes me angry...

Sausage: He would definitely know, I'm going to win all of Tuesday— Tuesday's mine, man

Jimmy: Oh gosh *laughs* "I'm gonna win all of Tuesday..."

Lizzie: Well as long as I still get to do his laundry then that's fine.

Sausage: Oh you do— I don't do laundry, you go ahead.

Lizzie: *laughs* "I don't do laundry"

(thank u for the correction i have never cooked a steak before if you couldn't tell LMAO 😭😭)

[saccharinescorpion]

i've been debating on whether to post about this but what the hell, it's relevant both to today's episode and the topic of people trying to smooth over the flaws of Dungeon Meshi characters.... so, uh, remember what i said yesterday about Laios forgetting the basics of human decency when interacting with Izutsumi

i was intially worried about people reading this scene in uhh certain ways but was thankful to see most fans were chill with it... before i realized that. uh. maybe people were being a little too chill

okay............ so,

1. for the record: i believe that it is clear from what we know about him and what we know about the entire series as a whole that, yes, Laios didn't have "untoward" intentions towards Izutsumi in this scene. there's even an aside in Izutsumi's profile in the Adventurer's Bible that says as much. he likely saw it in basically the same way Falin did when she was observing the reproductive organs of the caterpillar in that one scene. FOR THE RECORD this excuse would basically never fly in real life, but for Laios, it actually honestly makes sense... he has a habit of ignoring people's boundaries, he gets ahead of himself when it comes to learning about monsters... he didn't have bad intentions, no, but it doesn't change the fact that he's an adult man (not a [my face contorts with a great pain] "curious boy") who was being really invasive about a teenage girl's body. it was weird. it was 100% weird, lmao, i don't think fans are "lacking media literacy" by saying "uh yeah that was kind of creepy and inappropriate of Laios"

2. and i also don't think it's villifying ND people to say that. if i were to be honest, i would argue the whole "he's just a curious boy :(" thing is a lot more offensive to neurodivergent people. Laios clearly knows about the concept of bodily autonomy- he felt weird and bad about touching Marcille and Senshi in "intimate" ways just to heal them. literally one scene after this one he expresses embarassment about accidentally touching the leg of (who he thinks to be) Marcille. he very obviously possesses the capacity to understand why it would be inappropriate to observe a stranger's body like they were an animal. i can accept the explanation that his monster curiosity temporarily overpowered his "oh actually maybe i shouldn't try to get up close and person with this teenager who i literally just met," but that doesn't change that he had to be restrained from doing that. i'm not even saying he's a "bad person" or anything because of this scene- i just am baffled at the idea of fans being presented with the slightest bit of messiness (he was creepy to a young girl, however unintentionally) and jumping to try and "justify" it (he's just silly, he's socially awkward, he's autistic, he's a Curious Boy) and even mock others who rightfully point out that that was uncomfortable behavior. Laios was creepy to Izutsumi. he didn't mean to, but he did (and to be quite frank he was lucky to get off with a smack from Chilchuck and a blindfold)

3. "I would also ask" excuse me?

[joonberriess]

⋆ TAGS — really soft and domestic, TW: this deals with postpartum depression, baby daddy!jk, soft lil kisses, insecure!oc, angsty as hell, this is more of a comfort fic, mentioned baby, oc rlly struggles but jk is super supportive, mentioned past pregnancy, this made me cry, soft hours, jk pampers his lovely gf, CANON AUUUU JK’S JUST JK HERE LMAO

⋆ WORD COUNT — 2.4 k

“vámonos a comer un heladito, tu princesita, cómprame cositas. en mis tacones casi todo el día, dame un foot-rub and ice out mi tobillo,”

Your eyes fluttered under the feeling of lips sliding across your forehead, eyelid, and nose. You hear Jungkook laughing quietly as he envelops you in his strong arms and tugs you close. His murmurs and pestering have you pulling a face in your sleep, nose scrunched cutely given the way he coos teasingly.

“What time is it?” You mumble softly and blankly stare back at him, eyes heavy from sleep.

“Noon.” This has you going stiff, “Relax baby, he’s okay your mom came early to pick him up.” He comfortingly strokes over your side and backside.

You sink back into the sheets and nod, “Why didn’t you wake me?” You mumble under your breath as your eyes flutter shut.

Jungkook pressed more gentle kisses to your forehead with a low rumble, “You need a break, figured maybe we could go out–do some shopping, go to that sushi place you’ve been dying to try.. That sounds good, yeah?” He murmurs.

You hum, “It does, feels like I haven’t been out in forever.”

He waits with a bated breath and smiles softly when you open your eyes and stare back with more clarity, all traces of sleep etched away. “You’re so pretty, y’know that?” He brushes a strand of hair out of your face.

A subtle heat rises in your cheeks as you smile back, “Even with baby barf and spit all over my shirt?”

“The prettiest.” He leans over to kiss your nose, looking into your eyes with a twinkle in his own. He looks at you like you’ve just hung the stars for him.

Shyly, you press a soft smooch to his lips before flopping flat on your back with a sigh, “The fridge’s nearly empty isn’t it?” You mumble, “I’m sorry, I meant to go the other day but I ended up—”

“You’re fine, it’s okay. You know I’m here too right?” Jungkook reaches over to hold your hand, “Don’t worry about it baby, you’ve got your hands full right now and I get it. ‘s okay to ask for help too.”

You look at him with a soft smile, “I love you.” You lay a quick kiss on his cheek and roll out of bed to head to the bathroom.

Jungkook huffs, “Only one? On the cheek too..” He grumbles like a petulant child, sitting up in the messy sheets tangled around his hips and his bare chest out for your viewing.

“Get ready, it was YOUR idea to go out too so don’t make us late.” You fondly roll your eyes, you can hear him whine about something else behind you as the door shuts.

“…..” You pass in front of the body length mirror, pausing for a moment to observe your appearance. Your hands come up to rest over your tummy as you stare long and hard. “…”

You better get ready.

.

“y/n.”

“y/n?”

You snap out of your daydream and look over at Jungkook curiously, “Yeah?”

“I asked if you wanted to check out the fruits, it’s strawberry season and I’m sure they brought out all the fresh stuff.” Jungkook doesn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that you’ve spaced out for a second time since entering the store.

You shake your head, “I don’t like strawberries.” You say disinterestedly.

‘But you ate them your whole pregnancy, what’s wrong now?’ Your brain is screaming at you to just say yes and deal with it but you can’t.

He gives a soft hum, “That’s fine. Is there anything you wanted to get?” He steers the shopping cart away from the fruits, leading you down an aisle filled with spices and other cooking ingredients.

“Um, what was that thing you bought last time? When you made that white stew.” You scrunch your nose, “Ugh I forgot.”

“Ohh, you mean the cream stew mix? Uhh I think it’s down this aisle lemme check.” Jungkook leaves the cart with you as he trails down the aisle looking up, down, and around.

You pick out a few things to try out later on and happily make your way over. “Did you find it?” You curiously peek over his shoulder, damn near yelling because he shoots back up with a ‘ah-ha!’.

“What?” He innocently says after noticing the scowl on your face.

“You scared me.” You huff and punch his arm gently, “C’mon, I wanna get some chips and the aisle is back that way.” Jungkook happily trails after you, telling you all about his upcoming Calvin Klein campaign.

.

“Look,” Jungkook snorts as he holds up a pair of lace g-strings, “you mean to tell me this tiny triangle covers your entire pus–”

“Jungkook!” You hiss quietly after noticing a few older women turn their heads, “Put those down.” You snatch the panties away and toss them back into their respective drawers.

He cheekily grins and picks up another pair of underwear, “What? I didn’t do anything, I was just asking.” He chuckles.

“You are so dumb.” You giggle quietly, “Stop!! You’re going to get us kicked out, I thought I had one baby not two.”

“But babyy this is so boring, jus’ a bunch of girlie stuff and these women keep lookin’ at me like I’m a creep but I swear I’m just trying to help you.” He pouts.

You shake your head fondly, “Here, go find something to buy or do while I finish up here.” His eyes light up and he presses a messy smooch to your cheek before practically sprinting out.

Your eyes slowly turn over to the mannequin sitting tall on the platform donned in a new lingerie set. You stare at it for what seems like eternity while the world goes on about their day around you. Eventually a staff comes to break you out of your bubble.

“Is everything okay miss? Were you interested in our new spring collection?”

“Oh, um yeah, well I’m trying to surprise my boyfriend you know? I don’t know if he’ll like it ‘n stuff.” You murmur softly, eyes lowered and averted from the mannequin.

“Mmm.. what do you like?”

“Silk, maybe a babydoll or teddy..? I think.” You can’t stomach the idea of wearing a two piece, because then that means your….

“We have just the set then, we got a ton of new items for this spring. ” She grins while leading you away.

When you come out of the store, Jungkook’s barely walking back. He has this goofy little smile on his face as he stops in front of you, barely containing his excitement. “Guess what.”

“What did you do?” You giggle softly and eye the bag in his hand.

“I got this for you.” He brings out a large shirt and holds it up proudly, “It says: Best Milf Ever.”

You stare at the words with disbelief and then you’re breaking out into uncontrollable laughter. People around you look in curiosity but you can’t stop, you feel like you’re about to pee from how hard you’re laughing.

And Jungkook?

He stands there with a fond smile, gazing at you lovingly as he puts the shirt back, “You like it?”

You haven’t laughed nor felt this much joy in a while. “I love it.”

.

After having dinner Jungkook takes you out for ice cream. You were a bit burnt out from being out all day so you waited in the car while he went inside to buy the ice cream.

You think back to everything that happened today, it feels nice. You make a mental note to ask Jungkook to take you to a cat cafe sometime later on in the week. “Oh my god.” You mutter in embarrassment.

Jungkook’s walking back with a monstrosity of a ice cream sundae and then your perfectly NORMAL scoop of sherbet with gummies on top. “Jungkook what is all that mess?” You whine.

“What? I wanted triple chocolate with sprinkles and fudge.” He slips into the car and hands the small bowls over, “C’mon you gotta try it.”

“Hell no! This looks like it can either send me to do number three or I’m gonna puke my guts out.” You hiss.

“Number three doesn’t exist, nice try.” Jungkook scoffs softly while pulling out of the parking lot.

“It does now.” You mumble, ignoring his loud laughter.

You can’t hide the face you make while Jungkook eats that horrendous dessert. He doesn’t even care that you’re judging him as he happily watches his little Netflix show he’s been yapping about as of lately.

“I knew it, it was her all along..” He mutters to himself as he eats a large spoonful of ice cream.

“I’m going to the kitchen, you want anything?” You can’t take it anymore as you stand abruptly and pass by.

“No.”

You put your ice cream away and drink a glass of water in the kitchen. You enjoy the peace and quiet, it’s been a cool minute since you’ve had some time to yourself. Between caring for a newborn and balancing your everyday life, shit’s been hard.

Not that Jungkook doesn’t help, but sometimes you feel like you put too much on him. He says he doesn’t care but.. you do.

With a heavy sigh you leave the cup in the sink and trail over to your bedroom. The dainty lingerie bag sits on the corner of the bed, you have yet to try it on but you don’t know..

“Fuck it.” You mutter while stripping down and slipping on the pretty babydoll top and matching thong to go with it.

The soft pink and silky smooth feeling of it has you smiling to yourself over how pretty it is on you. The set even came with a robe so you slipped that on too and tied it securely around your waist before heading back out to show your lover.

“Jungkook.” You call out, “What do you think?”

He pauses his show and looks over, his eyes visibly glaze over as he takes you in from head to toe. “Pretty, I like it—pink suits you.” He beckons you over.

Right, he thinks it’s just a robe.

You walk over with a soft hum and stand between his legs, “I got something else, it’s under.”

His eyes darken and he licks his lips, “Can I?” His hands hover over the sash. You can’t help but shiver with the way he looks at you like he wants to eat you alive. Makes you feel hot.

“Yeah..” Your voice comes out breathier than usual, a hint of excitement underlying your tone.

Jungkook unties the knot and slowly pulls your robe off. “Fuck.” He whispers when he sees the pretty babydoll underneath, he gets a peek at your thong too and he’s nearly drooling.

“Shit baby you look so fuckin’ pretty, look at you,” he gently twirls you around with a low whistle.

His hand hovers over your ass, not quite touching but there. You gently pull his hands closer with a soft, “You can touch.” You murmur.

Jungkook audibly gulps and grabs a fistful of your babydoll, he lifts it up enough to slip his hands around both cheeks. He gives both doughy cheeks a tight squeeze before he’s jiggling it in the palms of his hands.

“Can I baby?” He asks softly, “I wanna take you to bed.” To that you nod.

Before you can get another word out, he abruptly stands and hauls you up into his strong arms. You squeal in shock and hit his shoulders, “Jungkook..! Put me down!” You whine.

“No.” Jungkook smirks as he lands a sharp smack to your ass, “Let me take care of you yeah? Just sit ‘n look pretty for me.” He carries you down the hall and kicks the door open, gently tossing you onto the center of the bed.

You bounce back on the mattress with a soft ‘oof’, he doesn’t let up because he’s already crawling over you and landing a sweet yet heated kiss on your lips. You wrap your arms around him and hug him close, enjoying the soft touches.

Jungkook takes his sweet time kissing you, the kiss is slow and his touches are light and feathery. He holds you like you’re made of glass or something, gently cupping your hips and massaging them. It tugs on your poor heart strings and you find yourself tearing up for no reason..?

He pulls away with a soft pant, pressing his forehead to your own as he stares into your eyes with devotion. “Why are you crying baby? Hm? Why’s my pretty girl sad?” He wipes your tears with his thumbs.

“B-Because, you’re so good to me.” You softly hiccup, “Feel safe with you.”

He brushes your hair out of your face and smooches your nose, “Yeah, what else baby. Talk to me.” He murmurs patiently while cupping the side of your cheek.

“You don’t make me feel alone.” You whisper, and his heart breaks seeing you this vulnerable, “I-I know I haven’t been there for you b-but with the baby and–”

“And who said you needed to take care of me? You already have enough with the baby, you spent nine months carrying our baby and you worked hard to bring him into the world my love. Makes me proud of you baby, strongest girl I know.” He softly smiles.

Your heart races and you feel a knot in your throat as you continue listening to him, “You’re going to be okay—we’re okay. You know I’m always going to be right here for whatever you need, you’re doing so good my love.”

You let out a soft sob and bury your face in his shoulder. These past two months of silently struggling with coming to terms of your newfound motherhood and changes with your relationship finally come to a stop. You feel good knowing that Jungkook is so understanding and supportive.

For a while you thought you were going insane, that it was your fault and you were a horrible mother for feeling so…bad.

Even when you were bedridden for days, void of any life and emotion, Jungkook is still here.

“I love you.” Jungkook whispers.

“I love you too.” You sniffle.

Jungkook helps you slip into one of his shirts as the two of you cuddle for the rest of the night watching silly rom-coms. You know the future will be okay.

Everything is okay.

TAGLIST: @fragmentof-indifference @jungkooksseuphoria @kooliv @angelarin @jjeonjjk7 @lilliankoo @pb-n-juju @ellesalazar @saweetspoiled @laylasbunbunny @prettyprincejk @cherrysainttt @hyunjinswifeee @joongraduatewithonor @hellbornsworld @leire-mia @m1sss1mp @lissful @winkii @lifeless-firefly @exactlygreatcoffee @taestoess @ayalies @floweryjeons @softtcurse @lilspinachwrld @tearyjjeon @littleobsessedkitty @lovelovelovebts @angeljmnie @rerefundslocals @bangtans-mama @thvhoe @maddkitt @tvse @ohjeon @teteswtnr @jkslovey12 @kelsyx33 @milfpo1ice @sluttydidi @ztyur @beomgyuult @shescharlie @sweet-sourhotcoco @lalita-7 @hazzzelsdimension @p34rluv @kook-net @bonita0-0 @vmapy @dahliadaenerys @frieschan @lilyflowerguk @sayokodiary @babycandy111 @looneybleus @ash07128 @gyukookswhore @rrosiitas

[mad-hunts]

while jervis spoke, barton looked into the crevices of his nails as if they were the most interesting thing in the world all of a sudden. he had to admit that the man beside him had a point. though as the other described to him what he'd done to marty in detail, reminding him of the horror, he didn't feel anything. and barton was hopelessly unable to place himself in jervis's shoes to even feel an scintilla of the remorse seeping into his words now; so, whenever he was done, barton only said this, ❝ touché. i didn't exactly grant him the mercy of a quick, or a painless death, did i? i wonder what the forensic examiners are going to make of it. do you think they're going to focus more on how you killed your guy, or how i killed mine? ❞

and now he was talking about the murder with an almost amused undertone to his voice. so much for being shocked by the revelation that jervis had synesthesia, i suppose. barton looked at the other where he sat with a raised eyebrow as if he didn't understand why he was agonizing over their death's as much as he was. which was sort of true, though he could feel cognitive empathy towards jervis over what he had to experience in that van. the same dead-eyed look that sometimes took over barton's eyes seemed to be in effect once more while he scoffed lightly, ❝ you are incredibly pissy when you're feeling guilty, you know that? just imagine the guard you killed was someone you hate. then, you won't feel half as bad about it. trust me. and i think i got it the first time you explained it to me, smartass. ❞

barton was slipping between acting more like his ' normal ' persona and like the dollmaker now, it seemed, as his newfound small amount of respect for jervis dwindled away for a moment. perhaps it was because his head was starting to feel 'fuzzy' again? barton didn't know, but he was able to tolerate the pain he felt when taking a breath from his ribs before. though now it was searing. letting out a frustrated noise underneath his breath, barton rested his head halfway down his arm while he checked something. he pressed down on specific ribs while he spoke to jervis, ❝ oh, please. only an idiot would regard you as weak because you have synesthesia. it just makes you more unpredictable. ❞

before long, he'd found what he thought he would and that was a specific tender spot on one rib that made him swear unintelligibly in french. ❝ non, non. pourquoi est-ce que ça doit m'arriver, * ❞ barton stated just barely above a whisper to himself while the other started to talk about his experience in arkham and about gotham itself. ❝ uhh, yeah. i obviously do believe in hell, because i'm living through it right now. i'm about 90% sure i've got a popped rib. but whatever you say. if you weren't trying to do it, then i believe you. and ravi likes me because i was introduced to him by my late fiancée. as for matilda, it's — much more complicated than that. she's my daughter. ❞ that word, along with fiancée, was said with a surprising amount of tenderness. barton looked down at his curry with a bittersweet smile on his face.

❝ when she was born, it was like nothing else mattered. i would do most anything for her, ❞ barton sounded like he meant every word too. then, ravi was coming out with jervis's soup and as he placed it down in front of him, he laughed as he held one hand behind his back, ❝ sorry for the wait, jervis. the chefs were running around like chickens with their heads cut off after i asked if they could make something new and special for someone here. not naming names, but ahh... what the hell. it's you, ❞ ravi placed a glass of falooda, which was an ice cream dessert, in front of barton and his demeanor seemed to change completely.

barton was positively beaming now at ravi. ❝ and they've got one cooking for you too, jervis. i'll bring it out when it's ready, ❞ ravi winked at jervis before leaving, and barton clasped his hands together in front of himself. he closed his eyes in contentment like a cat then and tilted his head, all while sighing dreamily, ❝ oh, i change my mind. i'm not going through hell anymore. ❞

[ translation: no, no. why does this have to happen to me? ]

"And when, pray tell, would've been a good moment for me to bring it up? Both occasions we've met, things have been rather tense, wouldn't you say so? Hmmm.... Should I have said something as you were working, or as I was feeling like the veins in my own eyes were bursting as Marty developed petechiae and eventually lost control of his bladder while you were crushing his trachea? Or when I picked the lock to regain my property, and was dispatching the driver... how'd you put it, 'turning him into a pincushion'?" Guilt filled his mouth, sour as curdling milk.

Jervis' finger grazed idly along his own throat as Barton coughed and sputtered on the vodka. As he felt his own windpipe spasm, his eyes flickered pointedly towards his messenger bag; left hand drawing back to his coat, ostensibly adjusting it from where it was draped over the back of his chair, when he was really clandestinely checking that Alice's rabbit remained tucked away in the pocket. "You're absolutely right, what a foolish oversight it was of me not to disclose it."

He sighed, shifted his weight. "The same reason you so adamantly refuse anyone's pity. Because I've made my peace with it. And to have other people make generalizations or false equivalences -- whether out of genuine naivete, or ignorance, or deliberate crassness -- or to view me as some sort of freak? 'A fragile little teacup'? Well... that's a bitter pill I've long grown accustomed to. And how can you expect me to judge you for your actions today, when I know full well what horrors reside in Arkham's bowels? I didn't first get acquainted with the place after becoming... this. Deep sleep therapy. ECT. Stretches of time where I was shuffled between the white room and the isolation tank, most recently. That's all that I can concretely remember, but I'm sure there were other things..."

Jervis let the question hang in the air, not expecting or particularly interested in receiving an answer. Instead, he removed his glasses; flicked one of their metal legs back and forth between his thumb and forefinger. An improvised metronome, timing his breathing; something else to focus on, though with the cannabis, the motion seemed a hair slower than what it actually was. Tick. Tack. Tick.

"There's something about this city... If there's a hell -- if you believe in that sort of thing, anyway -- we're both pretty much already there. But even the worst person has their virtues, so regardless of my dislike of you, I'm not claiming to know everything about your background or your experiences, nor am I meaning to speculate; merely describing what I've already seen from you... and for whatever reason, Ravi does genuinely seem to like you, as did the girl I heard at your workshop, else you wouldn't keep company... Matilda, wasn't it?"

An innocent gleam of curiosity shone in Jervis' eyes, then, though he hoped he could disguise whatever vulnerability he may be unconsciously displaying as a trick of the light or a side effect of the weed. Curiosity, and a touch of sadness. She didn't sound much younger than Alice.

But that train of thought was soon cut off, as the doors swung open, and Ravi's silhouette entered Jervis' periphery. Ahh, it seemed the soup was ready. And just in time; he was famished.

[givehimthemedicine]

time for my big lumax rantpost. I used to be way more of a shipper but upon reexamining some of my GA-era assumptions, I'm here to tell you why it sucks, and why I don't look forward to lumax endgame if it's the same lumax we've been getting.

lumax has fantastic potential, but needs lots of work to actually become the ship most of the fandom thinks it is.

I get the sense most on here consider lumax ST's darling perfect ship which is sullied by weak and/or racist writing. while I wouldn't argue at all that the writing does right by Lucas, I do think it's important to recognize lumax as an intentionally-written badly flawed relationship, NOT a poorly-written perfect relationship. (the writing for 5 has a lot to prove so we'll see)

lumax is obviously happening. no ending to Lucas's story makes sense other than him getting the girl. however, I don't like that from either character's standpoint.

from hers - Max is not a prize. and from his - Max is no prize.

Max is a pretty shitty girlfriend.

we've never seen her show Lucas any interest in learning anything about him. I can't remember a time she's complimented him, said anything nice about him, or done anything purely for his benefit. virtually all of their serious conversations have been about her, and the scant few that are sort of about him are inevitably just a lead-in to him offering support to her.

Lucas and Max's relationship - pre, during, and post dating - is 100% about what he can do for her. he's the one making 100% of the effort.

it seems like most of their interactions are him walking on eggshells trying to placate, reassure, or convince her, all for the reward of.... what. being allowed to continue existing near her? like yeah, she's a cool girl, but. that can't be it.

what good is getting the girl if the girl doesn't really offer anything?

. . .

through the seasons, semiquickly:

season 2

Lucas and Dustin both like Max, so they invite her trick or treating, offering to protect her from bullies and show her where the good candy is. in other words, the first Max / Lucas interaction is him offering something to benefit her. Max returns no appreciation or even response to the invite, yet still shows up to reap the benefits.

that pretty much sets the tone.

Max wants to be included, but that's a sensitive subject, so she puts on aloof airs to protect herself. it's an act, but nonetheless it's all Lucas receives.

the facade slips on multiple occasions though; Lucas is permitted to see her vulnerability, and we can see she's actually more desperate to make the connection than he is.

Dustin seeks Steve's manipulation tactics to use on Max, but Lucas wins her over by treating her like an equal and offering her genuine friendship.

he risks both his place in the party and his safety/life to include her, gives his undivided attention when she talks to him, asks questions that show his interest and concern, he reassures, uplifts and compliments her, and physically protects her.

in return, Max. uhh. well she does apologize for being a jerk, although she doesn't exactly stop, lmao. this is one of only two moments I can think of when Max reveals any regard for what Lucas thinks of her.

lumax is off-balance before it even starts, although s2 is when I think that dynamic is most permissible. since Max is a newcomer, Lucas has the advantage in many respects, and it makes sense for him to be the one extending a hand to her.

when Billy attacks Lucas for hanging out with Max, he could be gravely hurt if not for Steve taking the beating instead. Max joins in the momentary group hug but never says a word about this. (I suspect the writers mean for Max's bus apology to have proactively served as a veiled "sorry my stepbro is racist" but more felt needed in that moment.)

then they go to the dance and she kisses him and it's cute and everything is happy for ten whole seconds.

between 2 and 3

even though the summer of '85 is "the good days," this relationship is already careening downhill.

we learn that Max has dumped Lucas five times - such a regular occurrence that he takes it in stride and is well practiced at winning her back as a result.

unfortunately it's Lucas taking to heart the "happy wife happy life" policy from his dad that's set up lumax as something that seems to serve only Max. her awareness of the policy means she holds all the cards.

season 3

Max has secured her place in the party and the relationship, and now it's time for her to bring something to the table, but I honestly can't name one thing. it's still Lucas bending over backwards and Max sometimes being a bit of a jerk. (another act. we'll come back to this)

from the start of 3 we see an excessively secure Max and an obsequious Lucas. she doesn't show him any of the vulnerability that made her endearing in 2. they share fun moments, but we can infer that she doesn't treat him very well in ways that matter.

at one point she even plays mad just to watch him panic. you get the feeling this boy can never feel secure in his relationship. yeah she's just teasing, but do you think Lucas is allowed to tease too?

when El comes to Max for advice, she tells her that "boyfriends lie all the time" and this is before we see Lucas lie to her.

when Mike comes to Lucas for advice, he confidently schools him on how to get back in El's good graces by buying her a present - making clear he's been following his dad's advice all summer long and it's been working:

L: Dad? When Mom's mad at you, how do you make her not mad? C: First, I apologize. Then, I get your mother whatever she wants. L: Even when she's wrong? C: She's never wrong, son.

the mall confrontation is the first time we see Lucas really lie to Max, but even then, the girls don't actually have proof Nana isn't sick.

it's telling, actually, that Lucas's loyalty goes to Mike instead of Max in this moment. in s2 it was the other way around (Lucas pissed off the whole party by including her in the group and telling her the truth - a technically banishable offense). but now he's back to his s1 bros before hoes policy, and not only backs up but expands on Mike's lie. after dating almost a year, his loyalty to Max should be even stronger, but here we see the opposite. if Max had been at least as good a friend to him as Mike, I'm inclined to think he would at least have tried to be noncommittal here.

Max is so confident Lucas will have nothing on his mind but winning her back, as always - meanwhile who we actually see Lucas apologizing to is Will.

she may have had Lucas wrapped around her little finger all summer, but we're seeing that start to uncoil. if Lucas apologizes, it's offscreen.

when Billy tries to break out of the sauna to kill Max, Lucas slingshots him and body shields Max during the fight. next thing you know, Max is back to being cliquey with El in the bathroom (making fun of Mike even though he was the only one who did anything to save El's life?? girl you're being shitty to boyfriends that aren't even yours)

they seem to be a couple again by the end of 3, but the relationship is weakened...

between 3 and 4

..which sets the scene for how the two apparently drift when Max ends it once again. she's not playing this time - she uses the term "break up" instead of "dump" and Lucas has accepted that it's over.

depression makes it hard for Max to connect with him, but the way she treated him in 3 has likely also eaten away at his insistence on prioritizing her. if you push someone away over and over you can't be too surprised if they stay further away each time.

so Max withdraws socially and Lucas apparently doesn't go to his usual lengths to pursue her.

he's still making effort though! the "stalking" comment makes it clear he's been trying to approach her. we know he's been inviting her to his basketball games. him already knowing her favorite song as of 4x4 is more evidence of him taking an interest in her between seasons.

he clearly still cares a lot about Max, but good for him for pursuing his own hobbies and friendships as well.

season 4

Lucas finally asks Max to do something to support him for once (come to his game), but she shuts it down hard.

we know Max still cares about him, but that's just it - WE know. he doesn't. to his face, it's bristling rejection even while he literally begs for the chance to support her.

saving Max's life is a group effort, but Lucas knowing her favorite song is the key that saves her life, and it's only after that that she's friendly towards him again.

the only time I can recall Max expressing any concern for Lucas's wellbeing is when she asks if he's okay in 4x6 - and he only gets a few sentences to process Patrick's death before it's time for him to turn it into an apology to her. sigh.

Lucas is the only one of Max's friends to voice any objection to her suicide mission of a Vecna plan, and pitches for them to gamble a stranger's life instead. he once again risks his life to hang out in the Creel house with Max, personally taking on the huge responsibility of making sure she doesn't die.

Vol 2 Max finally shows Lucas some long-awaited appreciation ("you might have been there" and "I'm glad you're here") which is very nice to see.

I'm conflicted about the movie invite scene, but we'll talk about that later. textually: he asks her out, she accepts, it's totes adorbs.

unfortunately, Max being tranced out by the time Jason walks in means it's time for Lucas once again to get attacked by an older, stronger guy who's wrongly convinced he's a danger to her. (again not her fault, but kinda because of her)

everything goes sideways, Max gets Vecna'd, and Lucas holds her while she dies. we end on a bruised Lucas sitting loyally at Max's bedside, reading to her just in case she can hear it inside her coma.

Lucas hasn't been perfect but he has spent yet another season physically protecting and emotionally supporting Max at great personal expense, and with little appreciation and no support in return.

. . .

the movie doodle didn't fix lumax

Max has had an epiphany, but a change of behavior has scarcely begun. being nice isn't the same as making amends. they've resolved zero of the old issues, plus 4 (even if the plan had worked) has heaped a ton of new shit on both of them.

she's still a grieving, neglected, depressed and passively suicidal child of a triply-broken home. dating doesn't fix that. they already broke up once under the same conditions.

plus Max has new catastrophic emotional traumas, some of which which explicitly exacerbate those very issues. she has catastrophic injuries and disability to cope with (and this is a girl who withdraws under stress normally). with a shred of realism, she's waking up in less a mood for dating than ever.

Lucas has also taken on new traumas, between the basketball team stuff, getting beaten up and almost shot/strangled, and watching Max get Vecna'd and die. he already has a history of guilt about not being there for her enough, so he's going to have a lot more about failing her in that moment (definitely not his fault but he'll still feel bad) and will likely be even more focused on her.

to me, this all sounds like a recipe for the same old dynamic except worse than ever. if they get sleeping beauty'd directly back into lumax, it'll be a disservice to both characters.

. . .

now let's talk about why Max treats Lucas the way she does 🔬

she's not a conniving bitch, she's just a scared kid from a toxic home. that doesn't excuse her behavior but it does make it understandable.

Max CAN be a great friend. she's just not to Lucas.

Max absolutely showers El with the good qualities she'll barely show Lucas. in fact I could loosely say Max is to El what Lucas is to Max.

Max is suspicious and disparaging towards Lucas, even while trusting that he can be counted upon to grovel. meanwhile El never apologizes for intentionally hurting Max both physically and emotionally, yet the moment El acknowledges her (only because she wants help), Max is instantly forgiving, kind, gentle, caring, generous and supportive towards her.

she throws her loyalty behind a friend of 1 afternoon over her boyfriend of a year who's been the only person in Hawkins to show her any true kindness and emotional connection.

if Max was half the friend to Lucas that she is to El, she'd be a decent girlfriend. why isn't she?

we can name a few reasons why Max IS so nice to El, but why she ISN'T to Lucas is a separate question. kindness isn't zero-sum.

she told us why. boyfriends lie.

and it's ANY boyfriend, not just hers. Nana's sick? more like Mike's a lying piece of shit! Suzie from camp? fake! Dustin's obviously lying! the only one of the boys Max has never accused of lying is Will - the only one who's been single the whole time.

just. the state of being a boyfriend (or even just liking a girl is close enough), makes any boy automatically a liar.

Max believes "friend" and "boyfriend" are mutually exclusive

"Friends don't lie!" "Yeah, well, boyfriends lie all the time." <- it's all right there.

back in 2 when Lucas was her friend, she was more open and trusting. she gave him the benefit of the doubt that monsters were real and he knew a girl with magic powers. starting to date flipped the switch, and now she doesn't trust him about mundane stuff.

now they're not friends, they're boyfriend/girlfriend, and she expects to be treated in a whole different way, including all the baggage that comes with romantic relationships in her mind.

what baggage?

Max's childhood is full of examples of awful, manipulative men and abusive, broken relationships.

her dad: I'd only be speculating about why her parents' marriage failed, but in 2 Max misses California because her dad is still there, then by 4 acts like it's doubtful he can even be tracked down for delivery of what's basically her suicide letter. it's clear she desired a relationship with her dad but was abandoned. Neil: abusive asshole who rules the household with an iron fist. I'd be shocked if he hasn't abused Susan, and see little reason he wouldn't do it in front of Max (after all, we see him verbally and physically abuse his first wife in front of his son, in a bad fight over suspected lies/infidelity). in his grief over Billy, Neil and Susan have "bad fights" and he leaves the family. he's not missed, but it's still a second abandonment by a father figure. Billy: Max's peer example of guys in relationships: a sleazy, two-faced asshole who treats girls like trash and completely changes his persona to manipulate them for sex or whatever else he wants (Max appears to be all too aware of his sex life and is disgusted). abandonment issues with him too: a good relationship with a big brother would've meant the world to her, but he rejected and probably abused her for years; her letter at his grave reads "ever since you left" - same word she used for Neil.

Max desperately hopes Lucas is an exception to the rule, but these are the behaviors she would naturally fear from any guy she dates.

Max is especially terrified of being abandoned (and that she deserves it)

to be abandoned over and over can naturally leave a kid wondering if it's their fault, if this is the treatment they deserve.

Lucas is overall quite honest, and there's not an abusive bone in his body. the most realistic one of Max's fears to apply to him is that someday he'll leave her, too.

and that's the worst fear Vecna chooses to voice in Lucas's form: realizing he's been wrong about her, that she's fundamentally bad and he's glad she's going to be killed. a gutting abandonment from the guy she most wants to trust.

Vecna-Susan also tells Max that she deserves what's going to happen to her, that she's "broken everything" and that her letters can't make things right. because he's in full Vecna mode when he says it, I just took those as very general condemnations at first. but they hurt even worse when I remember they're still coming from "Susan" - revealing that Max feels she has broken her family.

she wanted Billy to die, and she figures Neil left because Billy died, so that's two of the abandonments being "her fault". if that's true, Max would also feel responsible for destroying her mom's life - having cost her her marriage, home, and financial security.

in her addictions Susans has, in an emotional sense, abandoned Max just like all her other family members - and Max fears she deserves it. how desperate she was for this hug... :(

anyway, back to lumax: let's reexamine those s3 dumpings

what exactly did Lucas even do? we never find out.

on first watch, I took "boyfriends lie" at face value and assumed Lucas got caught fibbing. but that doesn't fit so well.

he's maybe the party member most invested in "friends don't lie". honesty to his friends is a pillar of his character. again, he caused friction in 2 because he so strongly prioritized honesty to Max. to assume based on one line from an unreliable narrator that he randomly became a huge liar over the summer is unfair.

via their counseling of Mike and El, Lucas and Max tell us what's been going on with lumax

Max tells El:

He'll come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness. I guarantee him and Lucas are totally wallowing in self-pity and misery right now like "ohh, I hope they take us back!"

I think we all clocked that one: Max thinks that because El followed her technique, Mike will come crawling back - because Lucas has come crawling back to her several times now.

but I haven't seen much discussion about how the spying scene (which "he'll come crawling back" is paired with) shows Lucas assuring Mike that he's been dumped for an unfair and illogical reason because that's what Max has done to him several times now.

M: I just don't understand what I did to deserve this. L: Nothing. Nothing. That's my whole point. You are the victim here. Stop asking rational questions. M: I know, I know, you're right. Because women act on emotion and not logic. L: Precisely. It's a totally different species.

Max is pissed. but has she been irrational, acting on emotion and not logic, and dumping him for no apparent reason all summer? signs point to yes.

and I understand Lucas saying this. it's not pure misogyny out of nowhere; he's been told that his mother expects gifts and apologies even when wrong, Max acts that way too, and now so apparently does El. all of his examples concur that this is just how women in relationships are. (Charles Sinclair how many relationships will your advice destroy lmao)

both Max and Lucas are bringing preconceptions from home.

Max acts this way on purpose

I don't think she's dumped him over truly nothing (although that's how it looks to him). I'm thinking she blows real, minor missteps out of proportion.

any time Lucas does something slightly insensitive, it looks like the first red flag to her, and instead of communicating in a constructive way, she just throws up this "boys aint shit" force field and dumps him. of course she doesn't truly want to be rid of him, she's just sorta snapping the leash.

I think Max knows what she's doing. I think she wants to keep Lucas always on his back foot, because the relationship isn't as scary if she feels like she holds all the power.

she's always trying to cover up fear/sorrow with anger, because anger gives an illusion of control. and she's been conscious of that anger, and the fact that it's unfair to Lucas, since the beginning - that's what she apologized for on the bus. "I guess I'm angry too, and I'm sorry."

she was mature enough at 13 to see the error in her behavior, but still not mature enough by 15 to fix it. every season has just been a slightly different flavor of "leave before you get left".

so, that's my take on Max's relationship behavior. but again, explanations aren't excuses. Lucas deserves to be treated well, and that's not happening.

what needs to happen?

simply maturing more will help them both a lot. being 15 is a terrible condition in of itself.

I don't see Lucas dumping Max's ass, but she should take her own advice before the relationship continues: explain herself and fix the garbage parts of her behavior.

before Max can be the girlfriend Lucas deserves, she needs a substantial period of physical and emotional healing.

she needs renewed connections with her friends and family, and a lot of general growth in the area of communication and processing her feelings.

in regards to Lucas, she needs to work on her trust issues, and learn to extend him the treatment warranted by his behavior, not the behavior she fears from others. she needs to learn that "friend" and "girlfriend" aren't mutually exclusive, that real friendship is the key to their relationship, and is a two-way street.

any Billy racism/assault acknowledgement would be better years late than never, especially if grieving Billy continues to be a focus in front of Lucas.

Lucas could also use a little work

the relentless positivity doesn't serve Max well. often it turns out to be empty reassurances which make her feel let down (so, a soft version of the lies she fears). she let him know in 4x4 that this hurts her, but he kept doing it for the rest of the season.

but the big one is that "happy wife happy life" doesn't serve him well, and rewarding unfair treatment perpetuates the problem. yes, the ability to compromise, swallow pride, and be the bigger person are healthy parts of a relationship, as well as the willingness to extend grace to your partner/friend when they're struggling. but it always being on one designated person is a recipe for dissatisfaction and resentment.

Lucas should voice to Max that he, too, has struggles and needs support. I'd like to see him pursue outside interests unapologetically.

no, this isn't an exhaustive list, and I don't expect to see everything fixed at once, or explicitly processed onscreen. but I sure hope we get some evidence of change, and that this has all been part of an arc.

for instance, I'd love for the final lumax reconciliation to be Max asking Lucas to take her back.

I kind of hope not to see them officially together until the very end. in fact I'd so much rather see ST end on a good Max / Lucas friendship with an implied romantic future than jump back to the status quo.

l don't want to see lumax until it's a new lumax, based on real, reciprocal friendship.

[welcomingdisaster]

halls of mandos dashboard simulator... part 2

Recommended for you!

🦊 fairfaefox Follow got a song on the tip of my tongue i haven't heard in like 400 years and it's driving me nuts. all i can remember about it is that it started with this really vivid image of burning ships & it had a drum beat that went sorta like dum deee dum ba beee crackle-crackle and got more intense as the song went on think it might have been in quenya? could be wrong

🌃wordsmithfoul Follow ........... ,,, op....... are you talking about the Ñoldolantë

🦊 fairfaefox Follow oh yeah that's it thanks! :)

🌧️ rainelf Follow SCREAMING LMAO OP???

👒 fllfrrur Follow

🦊 fairfaefox Follow HJKHJHKJ GIRL IM AVARI LEAF ME ALONE 😭😭😭😭😭

🏇 doriath_dude Follow Exhibit #4555 of the insane Noldor-centrism of this goddamn website. Most culturally important song of our age to fucking WHOM?? #ugh #curas fights the noldor AGAIN #discourse

( 3555 notes )

🌀positivitydaily Following positivity for elves that died in stupid and embarrassing ways! positivity for elves that don't have a cool and exciting death story! positivity for elves that fell off a cliff or drowned cave-diving or died of heartbreak over someone who was objectively speaking like a 6/10! no matter what posts get popular on here, it's totally OK not to have a cool death story nor does it make you any less worthy of reembodiment! lame death positivity!! #positivity #i'll go on record and say i died from mushroom poisoning

( 121 notes )

🧵broiderycreature Mutuals look i know it's just selection bias from my beloved mutuals but i think it's funny to imagine we're all gonna leave the halls having transed our gender & gotten radicalized. like yeah mom i'm not the daughter you thought you had but more importantly we must abolish the monarchy #lol. lmao even ( 45 notes )

🏰 Turgon_Of_Gondolin_1 Following Update: Minecraft server is back up, but I've disabled PvP and increased raiding protections. I will not name names, but please think before you act next time. ( 203 notes )

💠 LoveStruckLoaf Mutuals hey girl uhhh. sorry your boyfriend didn't come to the halls of mandos. yeah no one can say what his fate is because it isn't woven into the tapestries on of the world i'm really sorry about that haha. uhh i guess he did chose it for himself so there's that. we're still cool right? #lariel's copium

( 108 notes )

🔥Fëanáro_Official Follow

#If they are truly so loath to restrict us they ought not fear the voice of the people #Which I am sure shall be in my favor.

(12001 notes)

🐝 bee-leg Following anyone know whom I petition to learn the everlasting fate of my lemur (beloved companion)? thank you faithfully #personal

( 8 notes )

[avocado-writing]

Not the same anon as before, but what about a reverse Mummy/Daddy kink - the companions calling Tav Mummy/Daddy 👀👀

LMAO alright here you go. happy belated valentines ya crazy kids (same set up as last time, as if it’s being called out mid-sex) - minors DNI this is filthy

companion piece here

Astarion

Does it because he thinks you’ll like it. Makes sure to moan it wantonly as you’re fucking him, rolling your hips slow and sensual.

Looks up into your eyes as he says it, caressing each letter across his tongue, heavy-lidded and breathy. Every inch of him is sex.

You pause your hips, cock a brow.

“Do you mean that, Astarion?”

The way you’re staring at him makes him consider. Does he? He loves the way you’re making him feel, and now he considers it a warmth is creeping across his body…

Whispers it again, then moans when you start fucking him in earnest. He cums harder than he has for ages.

You cuddle him afterwards and he’s never felt safer in your arms. Perhaps he’s more fond of calling you that than he realised…

Gale

(wrote a whole fic about this here…)

Is mortified. Apologises profusely. Should have cleared it with you first.

Didn’t mean for it to sneak out, he just feels so safe with you… He couldn’t help it…

You catch his face between your hands and give him the most gentle kiss, beginning to move your hips and fuck him again. He cries out into your mouth in ecstasy.

Is so full of love as he cums, collapses into your embrace after and lets you pepper him with kisses.

You whisper that he’s a good boy, and he melts.

Wyll

Just as mortified as Gale, maybe even more so.

Tries to pull away, assuming you’ll want to stop —

So is surprised when you pull him back to you, start kissing him softly and sensually. Reassuring him he’s alright, you’re not angry.

Press your forehead to his and rock your hips back and forth until he begins to whine out in need, and you eke the word from his lips again.

You make love softly and slowly, showering him with praise, luxuriating in the sweet sounds of ecstasy he makes.

He does apologise again after, but you let him know you don’t mind. You quite enjoyed it, actually…

You tease him just a little, but always with a kiss afterwards.

Karlach

She gets so super duper swept up in the session that she doesn’t even realise she’s said it.

“Karlach, what did you just call me?” “Eh? What did i call you??”

When you tell her, she laughs. “Oops! Did I?”

You stroke her face, brush some of her hair out of her eyes. “Do you want to call me it again?”

She grins and, as you go back to fucking her, she shouts it out so loudly that the whole camp knows what you were up to last night…

… she can’t pretend she’s ashamed.

Shadowheart

“Aww, Shadowheart, what did you just say?”

She huffs and tries to deny it, but you bring it out of her again later when your mouth is between her legs. It’s a name she cries out as her fingers bury themselves into your hair.

You don’t stop, in fact you go harder, encouraging her to cry out even more.

It becomes a chant of your name and that word as you drive her to the edge, she moans it as she orgasms on your tongue.

You tease her good-naturedly for it, and she gets grumpy, but then you whisper “mummy/daddy doesn’t mind…” into her ear and it gets her going again…

Lae’zel

You aren’t sure that you heard her right.

“Uhh, Lae’zel, did you just call me…” “Tsk’va! Do not stop in the middle, keep moving your hips!”

So you keep going, even if you’re a bit bemused, because gods was it hot to her that word drip from her mouth mid-sex.

She, as always, leaves you sore and satisfied afterwards. You turn to her as she relaxes on the pillow.

“Did you mean to say what you said?” “I mean every word which passes my lips. There was no mistake. Did you enjoy hearing it?”

You consider this because… yeah. You did. She looks smug.

“Then it shall be repeated.”

Halsin

Genuinely never thought he’d be the one using it in bed, but you’re fucking him so good, he’s on fire for you…

It just sort of slips out. You pause and look down at him, grinning, delighted.

“The mighty archdruid Halsin calling me that, hm… let me show you what a good boy you are.”

He’s left just wide eyed and utterly boneless after. You hold him close and kiss him all over, stroking his hair and checking that he’s alright.

“I’ll admit, I did not think such a word would ever cross my lips… but I cannot pretend I did not enjoy it. Perhaps we can repeat the experience…” he confesses, feeling his cock grow hard again.

You grin, and oblige.

Minthara

“Minthara did you just call me—“ “no. Return your mouth to my body and do not speak of this again. Ever. To anyone. Or I shall gut you.”

Afterwards you let her know that it’s alright if she did call you that word. She still denies it, but when she thinks you’re not looking she seems… pleased.

taglist: @ghosti02art @sadandanxiouswtf @yeethaw13 @trappedinlimbo15 @infinitely-kate @dhampling@wereallbrokenangels @tilldeathdousnugget @somethingblu3 @hopeful-n-sad

[sirenologyyy]

LOST MY HEART!

street racer!carlos sainz x fem leclerc!reader

✴ summary: where you somehow found yourself in a skimpy maroon cocktail dress watching cars race eachother in the heart of the city and where carlos sainz found himself wondering what on earth had been keeping you from him all these years?

✴ warnings: swearing, google translated french, asshole-ish carlos kinda, mentions of murder, injuries, death, & suicide, blood, police chases.

✴ author's note: so uhh I guess this is me on my first attempt at entering the f1 side of tumblr LMAO. If you see any spelling or grammatical errors, no you didn't. Was this inspired by 2 Fast 2 Furious? Yeah.

The foul stench of decade old nail polish is like a good sock to the face. You had been sitting on the windowsill as the balmy summer air wafts in and out of your quaint little studio apartment, your tailbone nestled awkwardly against the ridges of the windowsill making you shift positions every 10 seconds instead of simply choosing to continue your business on your bed where your mattress and pillows were far more forgiving than the metal windowsill. You carefully and meticulously coat each of your bare fingernails with wine red nail polish as some 70s reality show continues to play in your TV in the background; the dialogue blurring with the faint buzzing of the electric fan rotating on its axis, the only reason why you weren't melting at this very moment.

You were on the last finger, carefully spreading the polish around so as not to get it to stick on one of your cuticles until your phone started to ring, you see your phone light up in the distance and you scramble to get to it. It had been Alexandra calling, you recognise the picture of her face before you even see the name.

You couldn't help but glance up at the upper left most corner of your phone and your eyes widen a centimeter as you slide the button to accept her call. "Where are you? Are you okay?" You demand and when she didn't answer in all but the 3 seconds you gave her you leapt off the windowsill and began scurrying around your apartment, beginning to gather your things to leave the house.

Then, you hear her tinkly laugh on the other end of the call. "Would you calm down? Everything's alright here chérie, no one has died."

You halt to a stop in the middle of your apartment. "Are you aware what time it is Alex?"

"Yes, I am." She replies, hearing the giant grin through her voice along with her velveteen monegasque accent that tickled anybody's brain.

You look at your wallclock, 2:45. "So why on Earth are you still awake?"

Before she could even respond, the obnoxious sounds of cars revving their engines answered for her. You roll your eyes as you pressed the video feature waiting for her to finally accept, and when she did you were greeted by your friend grinning cheekily at you along with throngs of people whooping and cheering behind three sports cars lined up and ready to race. "Come on," Alex says, giggling blithely at your disdainful expression. "You promised to come today!"

You visibly stiff. Oh yeah, you did. A week or so ago when you made her try Filipino street food for the first time, you hastily agreed to come to one of the street races so she would try kwek-kwek dipped in spicy vinegar, you've completely forgotten about it.

"You've forgotten, haven't you?-" Alex mused, voicing your conscience.

Your brows thread. "-Of course not!" You're quick to defend as she laughs at you once more and she gives you this sort of endearing look that made you feel bad. "Fine, what if I have?" You say, giving up. You walk back to the windowsill in hopes to finish off your nails.

"Make it up to me, come to the race today. I'll even pick you up!" Says Alex.

You guffaw as you twist the nailpolish bottle closed. "That's not likely."

"I'm serious!" Alex persists as she moves away from the boisterous crowd, hearing their voices fade away more and more by the second. She sits down somewhere and places the camera in front of her face, prompting you to do the same. "Come on, Y/N/N, come today! Support Charles! You know how much it would mean to him if you came and cheered him on! You haven't been to one of his races since Jules."

Your jaw tightens, your chest begins to feel immensely heavy, and your stomach churns. Not in that particular order. "I didn't have it in me."

Alex sighs. "I'm not forcing you to come, I'm just... heavily encouraging you."

"I know, I know" you reply somewhat distantly, though barely enough for Alexandra to notice; and as she speaks to somebody else about a lychee martini presumably ordering one from the 24 hour bar beside the track, you begin to weigh your options. It would just be one race, and anyway Suzuka was 9 years ago, it wouldn't kill you if you came today.

It wasn't like you had a sleeping schedule to maintain.

"You're thinking so hard you look like you're gunna bust a vein." Alex quipped, ultimately pulling you out of your reverie and causing you to blink repeatedly.

"I'm warming up to it." You confessed, jerking your right shoulder upwards. Suddenly, a notification pops up saying Charles was calling you and your eyes widened. "Why the fuck is he calling?"

"Who is?" Alex wonders.

"I'll be right back Alex, hold on." You replied, distracted.

"30 minutes." She says, pointing at you.

You roll your eyes as you laugh through your nose. "No promises."

She blows you a kiss, you do the same before you ended the call and accepted Charles'.

It automatically sends the both of you into video and you see Charles inside a car, your mood sours even more than it already has. "Chou, come today." You hear him say with a stern look in his eyes while the edges of his mouth curl up into a grin you recognise all too well.

You scowled at him. "Alex called me, she tried winning me over too. She's a great negotiator."

He lights up at the prospect of you finally coming to one of his street races. "So you're coming?"

"If I do will you finally propose?"

"That's not fair!" He exclaimed, laughing at you.

"You whore! The amount of testosterone I had to live with in my 23 years of existence was appalling! Enzo's settled down, Arthur is seeing that girl he met in Milos, what about you?" You demand, your older brother watches you berate him with a fond smile on his face, wondering just how fast time flies.

"I'm waiting for the right moment, you can't blame me." He replies simply making you scoff.

"That's bullshit and you know it."

He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Language."

"Is Arthur there?"

He adjusts the grip on his phone. "No, that's why I want you to come."

"But you have Alex, isn't she enough?" You fought.

Charles sighed. "She's just my girlfriend Y/N not my sister, at the end of the day it's still drastically different."

You raise a quizzical brow. "Just your girlfriend? Wait til she hears this-"

"Come on chou, one race." Charles pressed, and you can feel yourself losing restraint as each second evades you. 9 years of hearing about Charles' accomplishments and failures instead of being able to witness them firsthand, tonight was the night where the incessant begging of Charles, Alex, and even your twin brother Arthur on the rare occasion would finally change all that. "juste une course." Just one race.

"One race." You found yourself saying, Charles smiles.

"I'll see you in an hour." You shook your head at him giving him a shrewd little smile. "You stink."

"Not as much as you, Chou." He replies swiftly. You flip him off, hearing the last remnants of his laugh reach your end before you grunt a quick 'bye' and finally end the call. By the time Alex arrives in your apartment, (also known as her breaking and entering because you forgot to tell her you've changed locks and hadn't given her a new key yet.) You've gotten yourself dolled up in a new maroon cocktail dress you found while thrifting a few weeks back, wearing it for the second time around. Alex did your makeup since she insisted she wanted to try a new eyeshadow hack she saw off of TikTok and you styled your hair.

As you two are about to leave, she stops you from putting on your black ballet flats and pulls you back to the vanity.

"One last thing." She says to you before she lines your lips with a crimson lip liner and then filling it in with a red lipstick you had lying around. She turns you around fixing your gold heart necklace so that the clasp would be hidden in the back. You turn back around to face yourself in the mirror, checking yourself out. "Now you're ready." Alex grinned. "That way you're less inclined to smoke because I spent a good 10 minutes on your lips!"

You snort as you throw on your deep brown leather jacket. "Let's see about that."

Within an hour the both of you are out the door, you had the radio on full blast with the pair of you screaming the lyrics to Love by Keyshia Cole. The roof of Alex's silver convertible had been down, allowing the crisp dusk air to billow through your tresses as you sped through the otherwise empty streets save for the few cars that hung back and watched as you two zoomed past them, eventually stopping at the closed off avenue where the race was located. It took Alexandra 20 minutes to parallel park (with you cheerfully taking a video of your best friend visibly struggling and in dire need of help to send to your brother.)

Once she has surmounted such a great feat you two were off to find your brother who, funnily enough, chanced upon you first.

Charles takes off his amber tinted sunglasses, donning his signature baggy jeans that flopped as he waltzed towards the pair of you. "do my eyes deceive me or is my baby sister finally at a race???"

You smirk as you entrap him in a fleeting hug. "No this is Papa, I've come to take you with me."

Charles harshly pokes your side making you recoil. "Agh Putain! " You hissed, clutching your left rib as you scowl at your older brother.

"I see you haven't outgrown your foul-mouthed tendencies." Charles mused, boxing his arms in front of his chest.

You raised a quizzical brow as Alexandra giggled loudly beside you. "You do know who I grew up with, right?"

"It's great to have you here, Chou." Charles beamed fondly at you, causing the ends of your lips to curl upwards into a smile, a sudden wave of melancholy overcoming you. "Can't believe it's been this long since you've watched me race."

"Me too." You replied, returning his smile. "I'm excited to see if you still like to shred the side of your car against the sides of the track like when you were 14."

The tip of Charles' ears turn crimson at the sound of Alex's tinkly giggles. "You're never letting me live that down are you?" You giggle loudly as you shook your head at him.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay, look, I'm in the lineup for the next race. If they'd known I left my car minutes before I'm set to compete I'm toast."

You rolled your eyes. "Alors dépêches toi, I'll see you later." Hurry up then.

He began to retreat towards the starting line. "Watch me win that fat stack of cash, and once I do I'll take you out for ice cream." He assured you oh so confidently in the true Leclerc fashion, pointing at your face.

"You better, or I'm cracking your head open on the asphalt like an egg." You call after him, watching as he danced his way through the crowd. "We'll see about that." You caught wind of him saying causing you and Alex to burst out into a fit of giggles, which were promptly drowned out by the arrival of two cars that had presumably been racing since before you got here. The crowd's thunderous cheering and whistling made you wince as Alex started whooping along with glee.

The drivers each exit their cars slamming their doors rather harshly. You stood silently as you watch one of them shove the other one in the chest causing him to stumble backwards and collide with his car, a Honda S2000. The cheers drastically begin to fall in a decrescendo when the crowd notices they start to get into a heated argument, from your vantage point one of the men with features so sharp it could cut diamonds seemed like he was berating his opponent that looked defensive, with his eyebrows furrowed as they exchanged sides.

One of your brother's friends, Pierre, who helped organise street races like these quickly intervened and told them to walk it off, dismissing the crowd who had just began to cheer for a fight telling them that if they were here for one they should take their business elsewhere.

"Yeesh," Alex makes a face as your eyes trail after one of the men. "There he goes again, all dark and broody."

"You know him or something?" You wonder, turning to Alex.

Alex looks at you. "He and Charles are leading in wins, his name's Carlos." She tells you, you turn your head to the direction he previously was in to find that he was gone.

Your eyebrows thread. "Sounds like you can't trust him with your drink."

Alex snorts. "With your ex-girlfriends either, once he learns you and your girlfriend have broken up he swoops right in and sleeps with her."

"That sounds a little dramatic." You say, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Alex gives you a pointed look as she places her hands atop your shoulders. "Chérie, trust me. I know you, you do not wanna get mixed up with that guy."

Your eyes widen, as you look at her almost scandalised. "What are you talking about???"

"I'm just saying!" She laughed, shrugging. "Just- be careful."

You resist the urge to roll your eyes at your friend and instead you give her a comforting smile. "Fine, I'll steer clear of him. I promise." You assure her.

As the minutes ticked on and your brother, who was seated in his custom Ferrari 360 modena had sped off into the distance with his opponents, you had covertly slipped away whilst Alex had began mingling with the other racers' girlfriends (she was too scared to leave you alone but you insisted you'd be fine.) to light one up.

Walking off to a secluded part of the track, you take out your cigarettes and lighter from the pocket within your jacket. After a series of attempts of igniting your lighter and to no avail, you grew irritated.

"Allez... allez allume. Come on you stupid little thing." You mutter, obstructed by the cigarette trapped in between your lips. Come on... come on light up.

"No use in forcing it if its that stubborn." Your eyes traverse from your lighter and towards the voice, a man's voice. Your heart so traitorously skipped a beat as you laid your eyes on him, approaching you as he takes his cigarette away from his plump lips. "Have mine." He tells you.

Clad in a shiny leather jacket, a white shirt, and deep blue jeans, he takes out his lighter from his front pocket and ignites it before your very eyes. The blistering amber flame danced as the wind dared to put it out which otherwise gave life to his eyes. In which you thought were dark fathomless pits of naught were apparently balmy and tantalising, doe-like and pleasant. "Do you mind if I join you?" He wonders.

"No not at all." You answered, lips still pinching that cigarette together. He laughed a little, making you grin out of awkwardness.

This was the same man you were warned to avoid and yet pleasant was the word that came to mind when you thought of his eyes that soon meet yours, and you didn't quite find it in yourself to pull away.

Only when you heard the familiar sizzle of your cigarette coming to life was when you take a hit and then promptly pulled it away from your lips.

You exhaled a cloud of smoke, a foul, gaseous barrier that stood in between the two of you. "Honestly I could've done it myself." You refuted, avoiding his eyes. You didn't want to fall victim to the ironclad grip of his warm gaze like you so foolishly allowed yourself to succumb to before.

He chuckles in a low baritone. "What can I say? My mother raised a gentleman." He replies in his sultry Spanish accent that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Oh pull yourself together, he's just a man.

You hummed at him, clearly amused. "A gentleman sure, but not a very good sportsman."

He grinned at you. "I take it you saw that little spat earlier, no?"

Your finally look at him once more. "Me? Everybody did. You looked like you were about to choke him until his eyeballs pop outta their sockets."

He chuckles at that, a sound that made your smile widen, even if it was just a tad. "He was being too aggressive during the lap, drove right into me from behind. Like uhh, the bumper cars." He recalls, snapping his fingers gleefully. "Almost had me flying."

"You still won though." You postulate, paying close attention to his reaction. Through the darkness you saw a light blush spread across his sun-kissed cheeks as he brought his cigarette towards his lips. "Why, are you glad I did?"

A scoff left your lips as you shook your head, the ends of your lips curlong upwards a tad to form some semblance of a smile before you stopped it from growing wider. "Don't get ahead of yourself."

This gets a chuckle out of him, glancing over at you. "My mistake I guess."

You rolled your eyes, before they carefully combed through the area to see if Alex had chanced upon you and caught you fraternising with your brother's competitor. Oh the absolute horror. "Oh poor you, I bet everytime you do donuts you're convinced it'd get all the girls to drop their panties for you."

Carlos blinked. "I wouldn't know myself," He juts his right shoulder upwards before taking yet another hit of his cigarette. "D'you wanna test that theory?" He asks you, smoke leaving his mouth and nostrils like a dragon.

"Oh you're a real treat aren't you?" You feigned a smile.

"Just about." He replied, cheekily grinning at you.

You furrow your brows at him. "Funny." You said. "Don't push your luck, connard." Jerk. You cussed as you shook your head. Finally, the sad baby cow eyes effect were wearing off, you thought. But then again, this was a street racer you were talking to. Even your brother had his questionable moments at times.

"Ahh, tough luck I guess. Usually the French love me." You hear him say as you checked the time on the dainty watch that once belonged to your Maman's wrapped around your wrist.

"Thank God I'm Monegasque then." You humored, causing him to raise an eyebrow and nod, almost piecing something together. You drop your cigarette to the ground, mercilessly crushing it up beneath your ballerina flats. "I guess I'll see you around?" You ask him politely, a light drawl hanging off your tone, but he offers you a polite smile in return.

"Can I expect you to come to another race soon?" He wondered as you slowly retreated back to where Alexandra had left you. It made you think all of a sudden.

"Don't hold your breath." You answered him.

He makes a face. "I don't have a lot of things to hope on."

You rolled your eyes playfully as you took a few slow steps backwards. "Dosen't sound like my problem." Carlos grinned at you as you pivot on your heel and walked off trying to suppress a grin, hands inside your jacket pockets as you quickly made it back to find Alexandra. Only for her to find you first.

"Where have you been?" She asks you, grabbing your shoulder and turning you around swiftly. "I was looking everywhere for you! Cha finished first you know, he's competing against the previous race winners right now. We were wondering where you ran off to!" Alexandra exclaimed.

"I was just walking around, doing some people watching. The usual." You lied casually, causing her to make a face at you.

"That dosen't explain why you smell like cigarettes again." She says, causing you to grimace inwardly. You forgot to shove some mints in your purse before leaving your apartment. Usually chucking a couple of them into your mouth would help cover your tracks, but your carelessness has bitten you in the ass once more.

"It's a street race Alex, it's bound to get a little dusty." You tell her laughing. "You dont get to talk either, you smell like you bathed in a vat of lychee martinis when you left."

She hummed, crossing her hands over her chest. "Touché"

You look back at her, sporting a victorious little grin one to which she rolled her eyes that faded oh so quickly when someone from behind you suddenly made you stumble forward, you were about to cuss them off when the infamous red and blue lights of police cars drew nearer and nearer alongside the blaring sirens.

"Holy shit." Alexandra gasped as she took a hold of your hand while everybody started bolting the other way like disturbed garden bugs once residing underneath an overturned rock.

"Jesus Christ-" You said before you began squeezing yourself into the distressed crowd. People were ramming into the pair of you from different directions as you tried to make your escape, you hear the police officers making arrests in the far off distance as you continued to fight your way through the throngs of people. Only when you finally ran off to where you had smoked a cigarette prior to the arrival of the police had you realized Alex hadn't followed you out like you so foolishly hoped she did.

The churning in your stomach only worsens when you hear more police cars arrive on the scene. "ALEX?! Jesus Christ- ALEX???" You yelled, trying to find her amidst the sea of people running for their lives, quite literally. "ALEX?!? ALEX WHERE ARE YOU?!?"

You unceremoniously jumped out of your skin when you hear a car pull up behind you causing you to gear up to try and run away, that was until the shotgun window rolled down and there was Carlos strapped in the driver's seat. "Get in!"

You were apalled. "I- I can't find my friend! I don't know where she is!" You shout back.

"Less likely of a chance you'll be able to find her when you're behind bars, come on!" The man insisted with a caring sense of urgency in his eyes.

Your frown deepened as you looked behind you, the sirens were starting to sound nearer. "Carlos I have to find her!" You say, turning back to look at him.

You saw a bulge form on his temple as his fingers flexed around the leather of his steering wheel. "I'll help you find her after the heat dies down, but please do yourself a favor and get in the car!" Carlos yelled before you open the door to the shot gun half-heartedly. You threw yourself inside and before you could even close the door he zoomed off. It felt like you had been suctioned onto the back of the seat as you were sure Carlos had floored it. You turn to look at him, only now you realize how dry your mouth felt, how your tongue felt foreign and rough like sand paper. "Thank you... for that."

"Don't mention it." He replied, dancing past the other cars that ran the speed limit as he drove the pair of you into the highway.

"You're right your ego'll inflate so much to the point it'll slow us down." You equipped, trying to ease the situation a little.

Even Carlos' hard exterior crumbles at that as you hear him chuckle. "Are you always this sweet to people who save your ass?"

"Usually, why?" You replied looking at him who shrugged, smiling ever so slightly. "Can't blame a guy for being curious."

That gets a little chuckle out of you which was promptly interjected by the sounds of sirens coming from behind you. You whip your head around to see at least 3- no, 4 police cars making their way through the traffic behind you. You turn to Carlos, mouth parted to warn him but it seems that he was a step ahead of you was the car went faster.

"They're right on us Carlos." You tell him, trying your hardest to keep your breakfast down as he deliberately ran a red light, causing a collision on the intersection, the car narrowly missing it.

"You doing okay? You don't sound like it." He asks you, taking a few seconds to look at you before they are back on the road as you force yourself to nod.

"Mm-hm, I just love the way car-chases make my knees weak."

"You sure it's the car and not me, hermosa?" He asks you mischievously. You giggled loudly at that. You're not a school-girl get it together. "Shut up, it almost sounds like you want us to get arrested."

He shrugged, smiling a shrewd smile. "Hey, it would be a killer story to relive and laugh about over some dinner sometime."

You glare at him and even in the dark you can see the distinct mischievous glint in his brown eyes. "Did you really just ask me out on a date? Now? While we're this close to being incarcerated???" You interrogate him loudly.

"If we get outta this alive and unscathed? I mean... it couldn't be the worst thing, no?"

You guffawed at his statement turning to him as he sped through yet another red light. "Yes it would, it seems like the only viable option for me now is to jump outta the car and surrender myself to the police."

He laughs boisterously at that. "Dios Mío, you're so mean!" Carlos exclaimed, sporting a boyish smile with his brows furrowed that made your heart do a somersault. "Speaking of police... I think we've lost them." He announces, switching his gaze from his riverview mirror to his sidemirror, with a victorious grin.

"Really??? Jesus Christ that was," you stopped to chuckle in disbelief, wiping the sweat of of your temples. "Exhilirating." You finish, finally landing on a word.

"Eh, same old, same old." Carlos sang dismissively, his face causing you to giggle. "When you've managed to accidentally rob a liquor store at 15 with your friends before school only for you to crash your dad's car into the river and have it blow up in flames all while avoiding being caught by the police, nothing surprises you anymore."

You snort. "How do you accidentally rob a liquor store?"

"Too long a story, I won't bother you with such details." He answers you, drawing a line with the air using his hand. "But the bottom line is that I'm never going to try and see how many bottles of cerveza fit inside my dad's military grade duffel bag."

You sucked in air through your teeth, shaking your head amusedly. "Christ, that behavior warrants you into being the favorite then, dosen't it?"

He hummed at you delightfully. "Look at that, we've only met tonight and yet it seems like I've known you forever." Carlos mused with a genuine smile on his face. "How do you do it?"

"Easy, I was the favorite growing up too." You replied. "Like calls to like after all."

"You're the oldest daughter followed by boys aren't you?"

"No, I was the one that followed boys, 3 of them. After years and years of trying Maman and Papa finally got the daughter they so desperately wished to have." You say, with a distant smile.

"Wow, I'm not good at this." Carlos replied dismally, raking a hand over his face with dread causing you to laugh at him again. "Hats off to them then, their daughter's pretty special."

"If I ever meet your parents I'd say the exact same thing." You replied.

He looks at you teasingly. "No you wouldn't."

"No, I wouldn't." You laughed, causing him to laugh too.

The night further blurred after that, to the point that even now several hours later you couldn't exactly pinpoint where you and Carlos have gone after you exited the highway, what you have done, what you have said.

Based off of the egregious headache you were nursing, a wadded up paper bag of chic-fil-a on the chair beside you, and a familiar soreness emanating through your limbs you finally pieced everything together.

Of course, the second you came home to your apartment a call from Charles lit up your phone screen. As much as you wanted to let your phone ring into oblivion, you begrudgingly answered his call.

"vous plaisantez j'espère? c'est la millionième fois que je t'appelle et pourtant tu ne réponds que maintenant à ton téléphone?" Charles practically bellowed the second your call came through. You try not to roll your eyes in front of him. are you kidding me? this is the millionth time i've called you and yet you only answer your phone now?

"laisse-moi mettre fin à l'appel alors, essayons d'atteindre cent millions." You bounced back, pausing your show to divert your full attention to your distressed brother who had probably not even slept a wink since last night... well, earlier this morning. let me end the call then, let's try and reach a hundred million.

"quel ennui tu es! je n'ai pas dormi du tout depuis que tu as décidé de disparaître après la course et de ne pas me dire, ni à Arthur, ni à Enzo, ni même à Alex où tu étais allé!" Charles reasoned loudly making you flinch at the volume of his voice, having to calibrate your own volume settings so your head dosen't explode. what a pain you are! i havent slept at all since you decided you'd disappear after the race and not tell me, or Arthur, or Enzo or even Alex where you'd gone!

"Chill the fuck out will you? I've arrived in my apartment in one piece. I haven't been taken by the police, I don't have any injuries. Je vais parfairtement bien." I'm perfectly fine. You managed, massaging your temple off camera.

"Where were you?" Charles asks you now. "And where did your necklace go? That used to be Mamans."

"I took it off, Jesus." You lied quickly. In truth, you didn't know where the hell it was, but you decided to lie to not make the conversation last any longer than it should. "And I was off with someone- I don't- Why do I have to tell you these things? I'm as old as Arthur aren't I? I don't see you grilling him when he comes home late, in fact your fucking praise him for it!" You defend, finding it in yourself to finally raise your voice at you brother. Who scratched his head in frustration.

Charles remains silent for a second before he opens his mouth. "Fine... Fine! je ne te forcerai pas." I wont force it out of you. Charles exclaimed, ultimately giving in.

You fiddle with the remote in silence before you look back at him, bristling on your spot in the couch. "For what it's worth Cha, I'm sorry I made you worry so much. That was insensitive of me."

His face softens a little when he laughs through his nose. "Whatever, whatever. Truce." He mused, trying to sound all irritated when in fact he was not, causing you to giggle. "Don't pull shit like that the next time you come to my races, putain. I can see why Maman was so eager to let you move out."

You scowled. "you're goddamn insane if you really think i'm going to another race."

"See you Chou, take care." Says Charles, sporting a grin you were relieved to see back on his face. You rolled your eyes at him endearingly. "See you soon, Cha." You then end the call.

When you were about to put your phone down to continue watching the show you had paused, you receive a text message from an unknown number. You decide to view it so you could delete it and not have it take space in your phone storage but forgot about all of that when you finally read the message.

[saccharinesatoru]

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy (preview)

Pairing: Gojo x reader (afab)

Genre: cowboy!gojo x bandit!reader + smut

Word count: uhh like 1.7k (haven't finished the full fic yet lmao we'll see what the wc gets to)

Summary: how does the strongest fare in the wild, wild West as the newest sheriff? we're about to find out!!

a/n: shout out to whoever made this fanart bc jesus fucking christ. i have more written for this fic so I'll post it in the next day or so I just wanted to give a preview lol this isn't proofread my apologies

xx Jay

---

You were fucked. And, fuck, did you know it. 

“You idiot!” you cursed, “Do you wanna die? How could you be so stupid?”

Your partner in crime (literally) turned to you with a crazed grin on his face, high on the rush. “What? Don’t tell me you’re scared of some little sheriff.”

The sheriff, in question, is none other than Gojo Satoru. Not only was he the youngest sheriff in the region, but he was an incredible shot and phenomenal horseback rider. The man was known all throughout the west for his strength, wit, and impeccable skill as a marksman. And he just so happened to be the man hunting you down as you speak.  

“Am I scared? Am I scared?” you yell in disbelief, “Hell fucking yeah I’m scared! You just had to rob that bank, didn’t you? Toji, this is insane. We’re going to die, and it’s all because you wanted a little extra cash to blow at some saloon since you’re shit at cards and are always too drunk to make a reasonable gamble!”

His eyes widened at your statement, “I’m just down on my luck that’s all!” 

You roll your eyes and continue pacing around the small room, almost internally counting down the minutes until you're inevitably caught and thrown in a cell to rot. Maybe Toji could tough it out in jail (assuming he wasn’t hanged for his crimes), but you knew you weren’t cut out for that kind of life. It’s not like you meant to get caught up in this life, after all. A few bad decisions led to this nightmare of a reality, and now you were about to ride this sinking ship with the buffoon in front of you who was pushing 40 and still thought it was a good idea to devote the little cash he had on reckless gambling instead of caring for the adorable, perpetually scowling son he left behind to pursue a life of crime. 

“Don’t give me that look, doll,” his tone is sickly sweet but showing no real affection or warmth. “Don’t forget that you’re an accomplice in this crime too. Who was in the carriage waiting for me when I ran out of the bank with the cash, huh? Oh, that’s right! It was you!”

Running your fingers through your hair, you sit down and rest your head in your hands. “Don’t remind me, asshole,” you spit out, tone equally as harsh. “You think I wanted this? I didn’t know you were gonna do that shit! I owed you a favor- one favor, Toji! What, you think because I owed you one, I wanted to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder for the most feared sheriff in the west? Believe it or not, but I don’t want to live this way!”

He huffs and sticks a cigar in his mouth, lighting it and letting out a puff of smoke before meeting your eyes again, “Well, tough shit, doll. This is the hand you were dealt, and now you’ve gotta decide whether or not you’re gonna fold.”

You roll your eyes, sensing a migraine coming on. “Shut the fuck up with your poker references, Toji. You’re not good enough at any card game to warrant that kind of talk.”

“Bitch,” he mutters under his breath.

You turn around and are about to rip into him when you hear the sound of incoming horses and a voice call out, “They’re just up ahead!”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Toji curses as he puts out his cigar and stands up hastily. He looks around the room frantically and meets your eyes before darting out of the shared space.

“Fuck! Toji, come back!” you shout as you rush after him. You’re not all that well-versed on running from the police given you’ve literally never had a reason to do so. To say you’re relying on Toji to get you two out of this predicament is an understatement. After all, that man has committed more crimes than interacted with his own son. 

Running out of the room and following his footsteps, you exit out the backdoor. Your jaw drops to the ground at the sight in front of you. Toji’s sat on top of your very own horse, grabbing her by the reins and turning to you with a devilish smirk on his face. “Sorry, doll, I gotta cut ties here. ‘Can’t afford to get caught, you know? I’m sure you understand. Let me borrow your horse, yeah? I owe ya one.” 

You can’t even fully process his words, you’re seeing red with the amount of rage consuming you. Frozen in place, you watch Toji ride away on your horse, effectively abandoning the house that was about to be raided by police. 

Toji gets a fair distance away from the house before you hear the same voice yell, “There he is! You lot track him down. I’ll stay back and search the rest of the house. He had an accomplice. I’m sure they’re hiding out here somewhere.”

As soon as the man is done speaking, you hear multiple horses run off in Toji’s direction. You’re scared shitless of what’s to come. You just know the man about to search the house is the famous sheriff you had just been professing your fear of to that backstabbing bum who stole your fucking horse. Even though you know you’re thoroughly, laughably, undeniably fucked, you can’t help but laugh internally at the thought of Toji being captured by the sheriff’s men. You hope they don’t hurt your horse, although you doubt she’ll be yours much longer since you’re about to be sent off to jail. 

Cutting your losses and acknowledging defeat, you walk back into the house, ready to face the renowned sheriff. Walking back into the kitchen, your footsteps alert the man of your location, and he makes his way into the room. 

If you weren’t scared out of your mind at what’s to come, you might have started drooling, honestly. If this man weren’t known for his near superhuman abilities, he would have been known for his looks alone. You had never seen or even heard about a man that looked like him. He had bright white hair that peaked out from his hat. His skin was so fair and beautiful you swore he was made of porcelain. His lips were a pretty pink that somehow had a glimmering shine to them. He wore black denim with a black button up, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his large hands and delectable arm veins. For a reason unknown to you, he wore a blindfold over his eyes. You could only wonder what his eyes looked like, although you imagined they were as beautiful as the rest of him. 

He looked unreal. This whole situation felt unreal. You still hadn’t wrapped your head around the fact that you were about to be arrested let alone the fact that you were standing in a room with a man that looked like that.

“Well, well,” Gojo chuckles, “Here I was thinking Toji’s accomplice had to be some ugly brute with a tobacco addiction. But here you are instead.”

You rocked on the balls of your feet out of nerves, “I- I’m sorry to disappoint.”

He laughs fully this time. “And a sense of humor, too? What did Toji do to get you roped into this in the first place, huh?”

Your eyes widen slightly at this. It’s like he could see right through you. Was it that obvious that you didn’t live a life of crime? You suppose it’s times like this where your naturally expressive face and body language actually benefited you, as Gojo must have known about the true nature of your involvement just by the way you reacted to his presence. 

“I, um…” you tried to pick your words in a way that made you look the least guilty of committing a crime. “I only agreed to help him since I owed him a favor…”

This seemed to pique Gojo’s interest. “Oh? And what did the lying, deceitful, manipulative, gambling addict do to earn a favor from a pretty girl like you?”

Your face flushes when you process his words. Warranted and accurate insults about Toji aside, the human embodiment of perfection called you pretty. 

You must have been frozen in place for a second or two because when you blink again, Gojo is standing closer to you and leaning inward, “Are you with me, sweetheart?”

Eyes widening, you nod your head vigorously and elicit another chuckle from the man. 

“Well,” you sigh after being able to mentally calm yourself, “he helped my family in a tough situation. My mother was very sick, and Toji just so happened to have the proper remedies to heal her…”

Although you can’t see his eyes, you can tell that Gojo raises his eyebrows in curiosity, and his silence prompts you to continue.

“Believe me, I never wanted to help him out. Or, at least, when I agreed to help him, I had no idea he was gonna drag me into this mess. But I couldn’t just walk around my house and pass by my mother without thinking that, if it weren’t for that lunatic, she wouldn’t be with us anymore.”

Gojo hums and brings his hand to his chin as if in thought. “I bet your family would be pretty disappointed to see you now though, right? Doing all this for your mother is admirable, but you still committed a crime… What kind of sheriff would I be if I just let you off the hook because you told me some sob story and batted your eyelashes at me, hm?”

You didn’t know how to react to his words. Sure, he’s right, your family would be disappointed to see you in this position. You’d never gotten into any sort of trouble before- certainly never done anything illegal. 

“You thought you owed a simple favor, sure… But last time I checked, the pathway to heaven wasn’t paved with good intentions.” he tuts. “But jail time seems a little harsh, no? What do you think we can do to solve this little problem?”

Your heart is beating so hard that you wonder if Gojo could hear it from where he stood. “Please, I’ll do anything. I’ve never broken the law before, and I can’t afford to leave my family and go to jail.”

“Anything, huh?” Gojo smirked and pulled down his blindfold to reveal the most striking, beautiful eyes you have ever seen in all your life. “Well, how could I turn down an offer like that?”

---

i want him on me and in me I need him carnally I want him in my guts, so deep in me that I feel him in my throat okay bye I'll release the full fic soon lmao <3

[sharkboywrites]

Wait, This Is a Date!?

Riddle, Idia, and Malleus with an autistic reader who didn't realize they were on a date

Male/gn reader, autistic reader, missed signals, Idia is implied to also be autistic

A/N: I've noticed that some people aren't very obvious when asking someone out or generally establishing their feelings. I actually realized that one of my ex-friends stopped being friends with me because I wasn't picking up on their signals, what's up with people lmao

One afternoon after you had finished all of your classes, your closest "friend" approached you looking rather nervous and asked you to accompany them later. Seeing this as just a request to hang out was friends, you accepted. When he suddenly thanks you for going on a date with him halfway through your activity your caught off guard.

"Wait, this is a date!?"

Riddle Rosehearts

Oh boy, be prepared to start apologizing because the once surprised look on his face at your sudden outburst melted to one of pure sadness. He was absolutely dejected

He took this as you rejecting him halfway through the date he put so much effort into

He even baked all the pastries for your little tea party date :(

He cleared his throat and straightened his posture. He put on a serious face despite clearly being on the verge of tears, and apologized for... making you uncomfortable? Wasting your time?

Well that wasn't what you wanted

In another quick outburst you cut him off and say that you didn't actually mean it in a negative way

You started doing the usual over-explaining hoping that he wouldn't get the wrong idea (more than he already had) and apologizing for not getting his signals

The relief he felt in that moment was something he doesn't think he can compare to anything else in his life

He actually started crying for the fact that "oh thank the sevens they're not rejecting me"

After he calmed down the two of you went back to your tea party date, although both of you aware aware that it was a date this time

bonus: Trey and Cater screaming internally after watching all of that from afar (They'd be there for Riddle's first date as emotional support you can't convince me otherwise)

Idia Shroud

Lord have mercy you're going to kill him

It took him so much to build up the courage Ortho blackmailing him to come over and play video games just for you to not know he was asking you on a date???

He played Stardew Valley with you what could be more romantic than that???

He kinda just sits there and stares at you

He's processing give him a minute

Literally the only response he gives you is just a "Uhh..yeah. Duh." (he's trying to not give away how disappointed he is)

And in you just respond with an "Oh."

Awkward level 100%

After sitting there for a few seconds rocking back and forth to make yourself a little more comfortable, you take a deep breath and lean your head on his shoulder

"Well I like this date."

He tries to hide his flustered face after that, but you can see the tips of his hair turn a soft pink in contrast to the usual blue

He really is bad at hiding his emotions

for the rest of the night the two of you keep playing video games together, and you eventually fall asleep on him, which he freaks out about but tries not to wake you up

Really just two autistics trying to figure out how to date and flirt

Malleus Draconia

So funny thing

He thought the two of you were a couple long before the two of you went on your "first date"

You know that thing on tiktok that's like "check with your autistic s/o that they know your dating because it turns out I've been dating someone for months and had no clue" Yeah that's the two of you

In his eyes it was established that the two of you had been dating. He probably confessed in his old poetic fae way of talking.

So he was just like "You are the sunrise to my day, the cool breeze on a summers day, the blood in my veins." and you were just like "Yep me and my good ol' pal Malleus. besties :)"

What do you mean friends don't give each other little trinkets they find pretty? What to you mean that's fae courting?

What do you mean friends aren't that affectionate? What do you mean friends don't hold hands, hug, and tell each other how much they appreciate them?

Honestly when you burst out with the question, he just laughs after a minute while you sit there flustered and confused

he has to sit you down and explain to you that you've both been dating for at least three months by this point. Lilia was even starting to ask him if he was going to ask you to marry him (he's impatient)

He does make sure that you're okay with this relationship and that you actually want to date him

After this you're relationship grows even stronger rather than growing weaker, he thinks it's endearing

He'll make sure to be more forward and literal with you from now on

if I'm being honest all three of them give me "autistic just not diagnosed yet" vibes. Ty for reading and have a nice day

[enha-hype]

who’s ponyo?

pairing : byun euijoo x gender neutral reader

genre : fluff, strangers to lovers, cafe au, bit of comfort at the end

warnings : kms jokes, mentions of a sad movie lol

synopsis : what happens when you run into the human version of your favourite studio ghibli character at the cafe you frequent?

w.c. : around 1.5k

a/n : ik i said i was gonna disappear for a bit but guys i can't get ponyojoo out of my head 😭 especially after the recent go one! ep where juju’s in the water and some of the teamies start singing the ponyo theme song sdhdjkdkdjdkdk

🫧 you meet him at a work/study cafe that you both happen to frequent

🫧 you both notice each other on your first week there and feel immediately drawn but you’re both too shy to approach the other and keep putting it off 😮‍💨

🫧 lots of stealing secret glances when the other isn’t looking

🫧 you’re a huge fan of studio ghibli movies and since you don’t know his name, you’ve nicknamed him ponyo after your favourite character from your favourite ghibli film so that’s how you refer to him when you’re talking to your friends about him: “guys you should’ve seen ponyo today, he must’ve been really sleep deprived ‘cause he kept dozing off and i swear to god he looked so adorable i think i was staring at him for 5 minutes straight before i realised,”

[more below the cut!]

🫧 your friends roll their eyes: “yeah yeah you find him cute no matter what he does. come to us when you actually do something about it.”

🫧 little do you know that euijoo’s been bugging his friends pretty much the same way. he’s telling nicholas how pretty you looked one day while you were concentrating on your work and his friend groans in exasperation. “oh my god euijoo, when are you planning to actually do something about this annoying crush of yours? because i swear to god if you don’t ask them out soon then i will,”

🫧 fortunately for your friends, an opportunity presents itself soon. that friday when euijoo is leaving the cafe after he’s done with his work, he forgets one of his books on his table.

🫧 you happen to notice and are halfway through calling after him when you realise that you don’t know his actual name

🫧 so yeah you end up going “hey ponyo! shit. uhh i mean...oh, hi. yeah, i meant you. you uhh left your book,”

🫧 in your defense,,,,why did he actually turn around when you called him ponyo lmao maybe because you were shouting in an otherwise quiet cafe?

🫧 anyway boi is super flustered and confused at first and when you point out that he left his book he’s like ahh thanks and comes back to pick it up

🫧 you’re super embarrassed at the fact that you actually called him ponyo out loud so you make yourself busy trying to ignore him and the eyes of all others around you

🫧 he seems to have been in a hurry bc he just grabs the book, yells out a thank you! and rushes out without pausing to clarify what you called him and why

🫧 the next day, you’re breaking your head over a particularly frustrating assignment so you don’t notice him enter the cafe or walk up to you until he’s pulling up the chair opposite to you at your table

🫧 which is new. you usually sit at opposite ends of the cafe and it’s usually not very crowded around the time you two visit so there’s enough empty tables around to not have to share with anyone. not that you’re complaining of course. you’re just confused

🫧 you look up at him questioningly but he doesn't say anything, just sits quietly and gets on with his work. you stare in bewilderment for a few seconds longer before you decide you’re too busy for this and resume your work, although your heart is racing

🫧 it goes on like this for a week he’s trying ok give him some time to work up his courage. it’s hardly his fault that you’re so annoyingly breathtakingly beautiful he just comes and quietly makes himself comfortable at your table and the two of you do your own thing

🫧 then the next day, he finally breaks the silence. “i’ve been wanting to ask....what did you call me the other day?”

🫧 you go red in the face. “oh um, ponyo. sorry it’s just that your resemblance to her is astonishingly similar and it just slipped out because i don't know your actual name haha,”

🫧 “ah. well i’m euijoo” he smiles, extending his hand. god he has such a gorgeous smile. you shake it, praying he doesn’t notice the slight tremor from how nervous you are “i’m y/n,”

🫧 “nice to meet you, y/n. but who’s ponyo again?”

🫧 wait, he doesn’t know ponyo??? “you know, from the ghibli movie....?”

🫧 he still appears clueless and jeez he really does look so much like ponyo with those adorable boba eyes widened in confusion and it’s so distracting and– anyway. “don’t tell me you’ve never watched a ghibli film before?”

🫧 he sheepishly scratches the back of his head. “no, i’m afraid not…”

🫧 you gasp. “ohmygod, are you kidding me?! you absolutely have to!!”

🫧 “okay, watch it with me then,” he blurts out. he’s honestly as taken aback as you are lmao - he’d been planning on slowly building up to it

🫧 your eyes widen in surprise, you almost choke on air owing to the abruptness of it. “like a date?” you ask before you can stop yourself. shit he’s going to say he never meant it that way and it’s going to be so humil–

🫧 “yes. like a date,” he confirms, grinning wide. you’ve seen him smile a handful of times before, but for some reason this one knocks the breath right out of you.

˖✩࿐࿔

🫧 you thought he was cute before? well he’s even cuter now that y’all are together and you’re pretty sure the amount of cuteness aggression he gives you on a daily basis is borderline unhealthy like you might actually combust at this point RIP.

🫧 you continue meeting up at the cafe regularly even if you’d just seen each other that morning. it’s a nice cozy place to study and besides you’ve both gotten used to it

🫧 needless to say you always sit at the same table. he has to be touching you in some way or the other - if there's not many people around and you’re sitting next to each other he’ll intertwine his fingers with yours as he reads, if your hands are busy writing or typing he’ll settle for having your knees/shoulders pressed together and if you’re sitting opposite to him then he'll do the feet thing under the table

🫧 you’re no better btw, just as downbad :

🫧 one day at the cafe you both go to counter together holding hands and the baristas are like omfg y’all are finally together?! took y’all long enough!!

🫧 you’re like ??? and they explain they’ve been shipping you for MONTHS ever since they noticed you’re interested in each other and were getting SO frustrated about the fact that neither of you were making a move that they were lowkey considering taking matters into their own hands lmao

🫧 you’re about to pay and they’re like “oh this one’s on us. consider it a thank you for finally putting us out of our misery” 💀

🫧 on days that he gets there before you, he makes sure to have your order ready just in time so that it’s the right temperature when you arrive <3

🫧 you’ve made him watch all your favourite ghibli movies by now and one day he suggests watching something you both haven’t watched. Grave Of The Fireflies is one ghibli movie you’d been putting off cuz you heard it was kind of sad but you figure, hey it’s a ghibli movie. how sad can it be?

🫧 BIG MISTAKE: IT’S NOT “KIND OF SAD”, IT’S DEVASTING

🫧 you and euijoo are a mess watching it, straight-up sobbing towards the end

🫧 you know that viral clip from the script reading of that kdrama The Midnight Studio where a lot of the cast members are crying while reading their dialogues cuz the story is supposedly that devastating and then towards the end two of the cast members sitting next to each other happen to make eye contact and burst out laughing seeing each other’s tear stained faces?

🫧 yeah basically imagine that as the credits roll - you turn to look at him at the same time he does and you both can’t help laughing at the sight of the other - a bunch of crumpled tissues scattered around both of you, your eyes rimmed red and faces blotchy

🫧 he opens his blanket and holds his arm out, beckoning for you to come join him, and you snuggle up close and bask in each other’s comfort

🫧 you still can’t stop thinking about the movie and tearing up though, so you get some ice cream and end up rewatching Ponyo

🫧 when the theme song plays you turn to him and sing along as though you’re serenading him, to which he chuckles and pretends to imitate ponyo HE’S SO CUTE UGH

divider credits : @saradika-graphics @cafekitsune

[lovepookie]

₊˚ෆ Green Light - l.hs

♡︎ sypnosis: in which you have a staring problem—and lee heeseung notices. the weirdest part? he’s totally into that. he just needs the traffic light to turn green to make a move. did you like him like he’s come to like you? find out next episode! on-

♡ genre: fluff, college au, fem!reader, crack, strangers to lovers

♡ 3.4k word count

♡ warnings: uhh cussing, stalker-ish?, stalking mentioned as a joke, please let me know if you’d like me to add any!

♡︎ nano note: hello lovelies! i’m trying to feed the hee-stans so i really hope u guys like this. feedback is much appreciated! (this may or not have been inspired by the song greenlight by 5sos lmao) may or may not write a part 2 idk lmk. xoxo

.♡.

You saw the way the corners of his lips turned up at his friend’s joke. He was so entrancing, and you didn’t know why. Literally every little move would have your breath hitched in your throat. It was actually kind of annoying. You watched him as he blew his hair out of his eyes, leaning back in his chair in a lazy way. He was just so attractive.

But why?

You’re not sure. You let your mind wander in almost anger as you try to compose yourself.

“Yah! Heeseung there she goes again.” Sunghoon whisper yells in a teasing manner.

Heeseung feels his ears turn warm and refuses to look in your direction.

“Ahhh your secret admirer?” Niki leant in, a playful smirk gracing his lips as he put his full trust in the chair he was sitting on, leaning back on the back two legs to support himself in the air. The professor had told him multiple times about not doing the dangerous act.

Did he listen?

No.

“Leave it alone.” Heeseung mumbles, picking up his pen and spinning it throughout his fingers as he looked down at his notebook. It wasn’t like he was taking notes or anything, the professor was late again to the lecture so everyone was conversating about as they waited.

“You should talk to her.” Jay said nonchalantly, a bubble gum lolipop in his mouth.

“Yeah~ You should~” Niki says as he giggles and bumps his shoulder into Heeseung’s. All Heeseung could do was blush further.

It wasn’t like he was new to the attention, he’d always had an admirer or two, but this felt different.

He’d always liked a couple of the people who took interest in him first, but it was always a sort of physical and straight off the back type of attraction. He was just like Jake and Sunghoon; having many girls lurk his way, but only the popular and pretty ones were the one’s they gave actual chances to.

But you?

This was different.

He’d be lying if he said he couldn’t say why. He had taken notice of your stares one day and had thought nothing of it. You were probably just another admirer. Right?

But one day, he decided to meet your eyes and smile at you for once. And low and behold, he wasn’t sure if it was the best or worst thing to ever happen to him because all you did was stare back. You seemed slightly caught off guard for just a moment, but your gaze never relented. It felt like a a couple seconds at most before his friends nudged him out of it, but damn. He felt so entranced through such a little interaction. The boys took notice of this of course, and now they tease him for it, but he didn’t really care. During the stare down, it felt so…

Different.

He’s given a girl the eyes before, but when he stared at you and you stared back unafraid and even unfazed, he suddenly felt as if maybe he’d been caught checking you out. It lit a fire in his stomach and released the butterflies from their cage—sappy enough to say.

From that day on, he had grown interested in the girl who stared. Almost no emotions could be read from your eyes, so Heeseung felt like he’d remember it forever.

What could he say?

He didn’t understand why he suddenly gained fondness for your cold unfaltering eyes.

He just knew it all felt…

Different.

-

There he was again.

You sighed as the pretty grey-haired boy had rounded the campus hallway, going in the opposite direction that you were headed out of.

Your breath hitches as you took him and his friends in.

Well, more like just him.

He was tall and lean, but strong within himself and the laugh he let out made you feel weird. He was very attractive. You couldn’t quite place a reason why, but you felt it—the steady feeling of your heartbeat speeding up.

After indulging yourself with a few glances, you decided to place an earphone in your ear and go on with your day.

Maybe the song you were listening to had reminded you of him—you’d never admit it though because by this point in your infatuation you were just trying to seal away any and all ideas of him. If it was up to you, you’d forget the lingering thoughts of him altogether.

You saw the way he looked at you too.

Still.

As far as you were concerned; you had no chance with Heeseung.

That was just reality.

One foot hovering over the gas pedal—yet the red-light never changes.

-

“Guess who’s here…” Jake says as he swings his arm around Heeseung.

Heeseung’s eyes go up from his phone as he looked around almost instinctively and found you. You had your headphones in and wore a pretty moonstone necklace around your neck—but this time your eyes weren’t on him. He watched as you wandered the hallway and scrolled through your phone, most likely to pick out a song. He wandered what songs you’d be listening to; what songs would you specifically take the time to seek out? Did they sound pretty and soothing like your demeanor, or were they loud and abrupt like your gaze?

Heeseung cursed himself for thinking of someone this way.

He didn’t know why he did if he was being completely honest. It was like one glance from you and his whole world changed. To this day he refuses to aknowledge where the butterflies came from.

“Bro at this point, you’re the stalker.” Sunghoon joked, gaining a laugh from Niki and an elbow to the stomach from Sunoo.

“Hey, just because she stares at him doesn’t mean she’s a stalker, genius.” Sunoo mutters.

Jake just chuckles.

“I don’t know. I’d say they’re both stalkers.” Jungwon chimes in, running through a bag of mini chocolate chip cookies like he was a thief in a jewelry store.

“Hey, you say all that but I saw you eyeing her sister. She’s a Sophomore right? Like Sunoo?” Jay states, snatching the cookie bag and chomping down.

“Jungwon likes the Noona’s?!?” Jake teases, eyes going wide.

“Y-yah!” Jungwon yelps, eyebrows furrowed fiercely in contrast to his pink puffed up cheeks.

Heeseung’s eyes widened.

So you had family on campus?

Interesting.

He wandered if you two were close; he’d always been close to his brother.

Heeseung pauses as he realizes he’s curious about your family affairs but after scolding himself a bit inwardly, Niki’s voice brings him back to Earth. “Oooh~ Maybe Jungwon-hyung and Hee-hyung can go on a double date.” Niki suggests, a playful look in his eyes as he towers over his hyungs.

He was a big baby at the end of the day—they didn’t know how he skipped a grade and became a Freshman with Jungwon to be honest.

“Okay pipe down, she’s getting closer.” Heeseung mumbles, his large hand going on the back of Niki’s neck threateningly. The boys quieted down with teasing smiles on their faces as they came up on you in the hallway. In an effort to not be obvious, they achieve the opposite as you get closer and closer.

“Watch this.” Sunghoon whispers, before Heeseung’s eyes go wide.

Within a millisecond, Sunghoon’s hands are pulling at the back of Jungwon’s backpack and dragging him along to stand in front of you. The group can’t help but to stare wide-eyed at the sudden and bold interaction.

“Ummm…Y/n, Is it?” Sunghoon mutters out as Jungwon flails around trying to desperately get out of his grip.

You look up from your phone at the sudden presence in front of your walkway as well as because of the close new voice. When you meet eyes with Sunghoon, his handsome and intimidating ones are still no match for your guarded and undesiring ones.

“Hi? can I help you?” You ask, now sparing a glance to the group in front of you, a dozen plus eyes staring back. For a moment you lock eyes with Heeseung as—for what you’d like to say came from your imagination—his brows soften.

“Oh- well uh, you see, this kid right here is Mr. Yang and he was wondering if your sister was single….” Sunghoon says, gathering his confidence as he talked.

You take notice of the boy in his grasp and how he straightens up at the question. He grimaces but still stares at you expectantly. If he had been coerced into this, he seemed to be equally as interested in your response now.

“Uhh…yeah. She’s single. But not for long.” You state.

Truthfully, you had no interest in any of this, but the countless hours your sister would speak of this Jungwon kid had you wanting to stir the pot a bit.

You knew who they all were. You knew all of their names, courtesy of Heeseung—yet you never let your sister know her crush was also your crush’s friend.

“Oh?” Sunghoon asks, getting more and more comfortable being cheeky as the minutes went by.

“What do you mean not for long? Is someone currently talking to her?” He asks. You scoff as you look down to your shoes, and when you look up you let a small smile give way.

Heeseung feels his heart sink to his ass.

He’d never really seen you do that before.

You were very pretty and your smile did things to his stomach. It left him wondering what a laugh or a wide playfull smile from you would do to him.

“Well…I’m not sure…what was the name she keeps talking about?…” You ask out loud and look around as if to gather your thoughts.

“Was it Jungwon?…” You see the dimpled-boys’ eyes light up.

“…Or Sunghoon?” You pause in thought.

All of the boys’ eyes go wide. Sunghoon let’s his grip on Jungwon go as they stand speachless.

“Or was it…a short international name? I’m not sure.” You say wafting your hand in the air nonchalantly and watching as Jay, Jake and even the possible Niki go tense.

Heeseung watches in amazement as he quickly reads up on how you’re speaking and carrying yourself as if you were executing a play of some sort; your theatrics and persuasive words doing just enough to fool his dumbass friends.

You quickly do a scan over the friend group and see shocked faces, along with a grumpy looking Jungwon.

He quickly turns to you.

“Thank you for your time. I apologize for the inconvenience.” Jungwon utters before he’s grabbing Sunghoons arm to lead him back to the group for a nice and easy talking.

You let a giggle slip as they walk away, not realizing how gullible they would be.

Going back to your headphones and playing your music again in order to switch gears to leave, you decide maybe the sad love songs were too melancholy right now. That was quite a fun interaction that just played out, if you do say so yourself. This time, a love song shuffled from your playlist but before you could get far enough away from the group of boys, your music blasts out loud due to your wires not being plugged into your phone correctly.

You panic and start to fidget to fetch your phone back out of your pocket, the lyrics of love ringing through the halls.

“And it feels like oooh~ you don’t know my name~” The woman of the song sings out melodically. The smooth R&B sounds that follow really catch onto the baseboards and walls of the open hallway, and you curse yourself for walking near the music rooms to get to class. When you finally get a grip on the situation and pause the music, your cheeks are red in color and your heartbeat is at a steady and quick pace. It was at this moment you realized how fucked wires really were and that you needed a Bluetooth upgrade.

As if on cue, a tap to your shoulder pulls you into even more embarrassment as you turn around to take a look at the suspect. You lock eyes with him.

Large pupils softly looking into yours; the nerves you take notice of in them are almost overshadowed by a courageous type of interest.

“H-hi.” He utters out, almost like a whisper.

Still, you catch what he says.

“Hi.” You say back, realizing you’re probably doing that thing again with your eyes where you lock onto a target and analyze it carefully.

You were aware of this habit of yours—and man so was Heeseung. But this time, it was different.

He’d never seen you so up close and personal before. He realized you were shorter than he expected up close, his stature peering down at you to connect your eyes with his. Your eyes were back doing the thing again he noted, but my oh my your rosy cheeks accompanied them so prettily, he forgets the whole reason he even walked over.

After hearing your small response back to him, it takes him a bit to respond, snapping out of the hold your gaze held on him as soon as he realizes that you are just waiting for a response; the two of you just staring at each other in the middle of the hall. His cheeks match yours in crimson. His hand goes up to rub the nape of his neck.

He still never breaks eye contact with you.

“I- uh…I know what you did back there.” He says, unable to look away. You tilt your head sideways in confusion, and Heeseung swears his heart is about to jump out of his chest and run away for everyone in eyeshot to see.

“I…My friends? They just asked you about your sister and I wanted to say you were really good at messing with them. It was charming.” He finishes, looking back and forth between your eyes.

You blush further.

Charming?

Was he really talking about you to you right now?

“Oh- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lie, just thought I’d stir the pot a bit…” You mutter, and now your eyes are searching in each of his.

He starts to smile when he takes notice of this.

It’s almost as if the words being spoken held no meaning, the real conversation happening between eye contact—words being merely a sad excuse so that you two could watch each other up close; study each others intentions through your eyes.

His smile goes wider as he takes in each of your words and tries to multitask, and he finds himself pulling apart esch of your words so he can understand them���having no time to stop the current conversation happening silently.

“Uhm, can i ask you a question?” He asks after another pause. You stare up at him curiously now.

“Sure…”

He smiles as he continues to locate your soul through your eyes. Heeseung knew how he felt. He knew that what he felt very well might be overflowing admiration and curiosity for you.

He liked you.

And despite that it all started with catching you staring at him first, he still felt like he needed to know your intentions.

Did you really feel the same?

Was he special? Different in any way?

“…What color are my shoes…?” He questions, almost like a whisper again. You hear his words and kind of just stand there as you look up, a little confused for a second.

Heeseung chuckles and looks away for the first time in what feels like hours. When his eyes meet yours again, he’s leaning forward, his hands behind his back as he towers over you.

“I said, what color are my shoes?” He repeats, this time a little more confidently.

You knew this was a challenge by his body language; keep your eyes up top and answer the question.

Without looking down you try to rack your brain for the color of his shoes.

White?

Black?

Fucking red?

You don’t know, you don’t stare at his shoes, you’re too busy looking at-

Oh.

Heeseung watches as the realization pops up on your face. He was asking this because it was a reflection of your attention on him.

Heeseung’s shoes were bright green today.

We’re talking neon-neocity green.

The rest of his outfit was all black because he got ready this morning in a rush out of fear of being late for his morning lectures.

And so when you couldn’t answer despite him catching your glances throughout the day, he knew he had his own answer. No, this didn’t proclaim your love for him—but the interest was there, he could tell by the way you looked away for the first time during this conversation, your blush never settling, eyebrows furrowing.

If he didn’t know better, you were madly in love with him. Or so he’d like to think.

The fact of the matter is, if he’d caught your eyes so many times today, why didn’t you know the color? Don’t people who like someone else capture everything about them? What was Heeseung’s thought process? Simple.

In the many weeks he’s caught you staring it was always at him. His face, the back of his head, his side profile. This sole fact and your reaction right now let him know that you were worried that you wore your heart on your sleeve—that you were too obvious in the feelings you conveyed with your eyes. That maybe you were aware of the fact that he knew you’d been watching him relentlessly.

Your face read that you had been caught.

After quickly looking down at his shoes and seeing the godforsaken brightest color in the universe, you can’t help but grimace even more.

“They’re- they’re green. And they’re just shoes-“ You try to get out, but your words are cut off when you look back up and Heeseung’s eyes are smiling with him. For a second you see them glance at your lips, and just like that, you were done with this conversation.

“It was nice meeting you Heeseung, but i have to go.”

Your heart was pounding in your rib cage and it, accompanied with the empty feeling in your stomach, made you feel like you were going to be sick any minute now.

He was terrible; terribly attractive and he knew it.

Heeseung watches as you leave, a laugh leaving his pretty upturned lips.

“Catch you later!” He yells out, cupping his hands around his mouth to get his voice to carry over to your quickly fading figure.

“I love that song too!” He finishes, smiling like a love-sick idiot puppy, forgetting how to walk, learning how to see and trying to adapt.

He looked like a complete moron, stumbling in the halls and looking past strangers in order to continue to watch you go.

He didn’t know why.

But you lit him on fire and kept him feeling warm.

It was a small interaction—but one he’d never forget.

“Hyu-“

“Hyu!”

“HYUNG!” A loud voice rings out, taking Heeseung out of his love-coma.

He snaps his head back to his friend group and is suddenly aware of their presence altogether. Heesung can’t help his smile from falling as he realizes they just saw him do…well…all of that.

“You should’ve seen yourself-“ Jake laughs, running up to him with the others trailing; all with the most painfully teasing grins painted on their faces.

“Shut up.” Heeseung says pointedly, his blush looking worse on his ears and cheeks and along his nose bridge as he flatlines his face in an attempt to hide any and all emotion.

Safe to say, his deadpan doesn’t work.

“Oh my god! He looked so whipped- it reminds me of that one loser-in-love squidward meme!” Niki jokes, laughing with Sunoo.

Yes, even Sunoo was clowning on him; or at least laughing at the circus.

“Please be quiet.”

“Nah, but did you hear him?? wHaT COLoR aRE mY shOeS?!” Sunghoon mocks, slapping a giggling Jungwon’s shoulder.

As if one cue, Niki and Jake both mimic Heeseung’s lean forward which sends the group into a laughing mess. Jay grabs onto his stomach as he wheezes about, the whole group unable to hide their amusement. Heeseung sighs as he lets himself be ripped apart by his friends.

Whatever.

It wasn’t too serious.

As they continued on and dragged him about as they walked through the halls, he went nonchalantly, tuning them out to the best of his ability. With the way they yelled and loudly laughed, he wouldn’t be surprised if the whole school had learned of his little crush.

Still, he didn’t mind. He trudged along, staring down at his shoes with a slight smile. He liked you, and as far as he was concerned, you did too.

All signs pointed to yes—and they were painted a bright neon green.

The light had finally changed colors after waiting for so long; It was go time.

Heeseung was going to make you his.

2024 © lovepookie

♡︎ please do not plagarize, repost, copy or translate any of my works. thank you.