#Josage

[smallidarityfan]

Theyre scheduling dates with joel guys this is a soap drama AHHSHGSSBS

[transcript]

Jimmy: I am also imagining Joel is gonna log on soon enough and die instantly—

Lizzie: Wait Joel is coming??? You want him to play Minecraft with you???

Jimmy: He's got access to come on, I just— I wish I could spend some quality time with him y'know?

Lizzie: Yeah me too! Me too man.

Jimmy: Yeah I think—

Lizzie: Watch out there's someone behind you tryna push you off a cliff

Jimmy: stop— right now

Sausage: I'M BACK I got kicked out!

Jimmy: That's alright— yeah lemme um lemme give him a message

Lizzie: Wait— Can I— How about you get him Thursdays, I'll do Tuesdays, Hermitcraft can have him... every other day of the week

Jimmy: Wait what— What day's their meeting?

Sausage: Are we talking about Joel?!

Lizzie: Yeah oh maybe Sausage could use a day too

Sausage: Oh can I have Joel too?! Can I have him on like a weird day like a Tuesday, on 4:30 in the afternoon or something...

Lizzie: Okay how about one of you gets him half of Tuesday; someone takes him on the Tuesday morning— But someone's gonna need to feed him as well...—

Jimmy: Uhh...

Sausage: Oh I'll feed him!

Lizzie: —He likes steak...

Jimmy: *laughs* he likes steak...

Sausage: You know what, I cooked a lovely Filet Mignon last night. He can have a piece

Jimmy: I don't know what that is... What is that?

Lizzie: You could probably have him 3 days he'd probably go willingly—

Jimmy: NO I'LL LEARN TO COOK FOR HIM I'LL LEARN!!!

Lizzie: *laughs* You'll learn?!

Sausage: You'll learn to cook a Filet Mignon?! You know what I do work a Sous Vide machine too!

Lizzie: OH MY GOD Stop talking Sausage you'll summon him!

Sausage: UHUH! All I have to say is Sous Vide... Medium Rare... Filet Mignon...

Lizzie: Oh you know just what to say! to steal my man!

Sausage: Hell yeah! Well I do butter basting as well, yup!

Jimmy: —I don't know what any of these words mean but annoyingly I know Joel would know? So that makes me angry...

Sausage: He would definitely know, I'm going to win all of Tuesday— Tuesday's mine, man

Jimmy: Oh gosh *laughs* "I'm gonna win all of Tuesday..."

Lizzie: Well as long as I still get to do his laundry then that's fine.

Sausage: Oh you do— I don't do laundry, you go ahead.

Lizzie: *laughs* "I don't do laundry"

(thank u for the correction i have never cooked a steak before if you couldn't tell LMAO 😭😭)

[oleander-neruim]

I'm back from the dead and I'm here to offer more of whatever this family is

My favorites honestly

In which Joel's closer to a type of demigod and gets real insecure about his "not godly" form

[sharpilu]

some cozy boys for pride month <3

also yes they are romantic. yes Sausage is aroace. no i will not elaborate <3

[captain-writes]

Demi-Gods and Step-Parents

I think I’m going to end up expanding this one into a full fic. Or just make a fic about the adventures of this godly family. I feel like it would be very cute, but also full of funny hijinks.

Let me know if that would be interesting to y’all!

Joel had dropped Hermes off in Tumble Town just after lunch, citing that the child had wanted to spend more time with their new sibling. Jimmy certainly didn’t mind having Hermes over on his day off, as spending more time with the small child had shown that Hermes was a polite, inquisitive boy who was a sweetheart.

After helping Jimmy put Tom down for a nap, though it was really just handing his baby brother a stuffed toy after Jimmy had gotten him situated, Hermes turned to Jimmy with a question: “Mr. Sheriff, if you’re Tom’s Pa, are you my Pa too?”

“What makes you ask that, Hermes?”

“I heard some of the kids in Sanctuary talking about how they had a new Papa who was the same one as their baby sister. So does that make you my Pa, since Tom is my baby brother?”

“I think that’s a conversation we need to have with your Daddy and Papi, Hermes.”

Hermes’ head tilted for a moment, “Oh, okay. When can we do that?”

“They’re both coming over for dinner, so we can ask them then.”

~~~

Sausage and Joel arrived just as Jimmy was pulling dinner out of the furnace, having allowed Hermes to help him put together the veggie quiche before sliding it in the oven. Hermes was especially proud of adding cheese over the top part way through the baking, even if he had to take a break from playing with Tom to do so.

“Hermes, your fathers are here and dinner is ready! Go wash your hands and then come say hello,” Jimmy instructed, smiling as the child shouted an affirmative in response. “Welcome back to Tumble Town, you two.”

“Hi Jimmy, how was Hermes?” Sausage asked, pulling Jimmy into a hug for a quick squeeze before stepping back again. “Very sweet, as always,” the sheriff replied, tilting his head to accept the kiss Joel pressed to his cheek before dipping out of the room quickly to retrieve Tom, returning just before Hermes came barrelling into the kitchen.

“Papi, Daddy! I missed you!”

“We missed you too, Hermes. Did you have a good afternoon with Jimmy?”

Hermes nodded furiously, “Mhm! Can Mr. Sheriff be my Pa like he’s Tom’s?”

“What?”

“Mr. Sheriff said we could ask you. Jemma in Sanctuary has a new Papa because she has a new baby sister now, so if Mr. Sheriff is Tom’s Pa, can he be mine too?”

The child’s two fathers shared a glance with Jimmy, who simply smiled at them and shrugged.

Sausage leant down, “Would you like that?”

“Yeah! Then I get a Papi, Daddy, AND a Pa. And so does Tom!”

“If that’s what you want, then that’s okay with us.”

[meteor752]

NEW FAN CHILD

YEAH I KNOW

Am I just the person you go to now for fanchildren? Cause I think other people do it, except they can like actually draw lol

Anyways if you don’t know what’s going on, Sausage did like a little improv play with Joel, dressed as Etho, and at the end he showed of that they had a child, named Jeremy Jr, who of course was an armor stand with a mob head. A Ghast head actually, which was fun

Here he is, in all of his glory. I wanted to stray a little from Jassy’s design and not have them look so alike, which I mainly did by choosing not to have the green streak, and having him have more loose fitting clothes, almost baggy. I also wanted to incorporate some of the ghast design, but apart from making him paler than I intended, there just wasn’t a lot. Ghast designs are cool, but difficult to incorporate into the design of a child. Maybe he’s just very loud, a la Apollo chords of steel style. Don’t ask why he’s holding a doll btw I just wanted him to do something stereotypically child like cause yeah.

He’s cute though, I do like him. Maybe I’ll make an adult design for him, if he ever returns, though I doubt that.

I also realized while making him that I never made a Hermes design, which like how dare I. So, here he is as well

I didn’t do anything super unique with his design, I think the fandom sorta has a solid idea of what he looks like and I really like that design. I did however add the bandana, which for those of you who remember back during the hermitpires arc, that when Jassy left for Hermitcraft she gave her mask to him, as a way to remember her. He wears it as a bandana as you can see, but sometimes as a mask when he’s playing cowboy

Also thinking of making an adult design for him, cause I do have some ideas, most of which include wing shoes. I tried to make those, I really did, but it was difficult so I just gave up lol

Anyways with the addition of Jeremy Jr, Jassy now has five younger siblings. So like, Stop having children Joel, she’s not made to handle that

[hmshermitcraft]

(theme yippie) immortality is a cruel mistress that joel is painfully familiar with. from being made out of terracotta by mother tree, to being gifted the promise of immortality by his own wife, he is not made to die and yet, the mezalean king died of heartbreak. see, that was the mezalean king, the ruler of mezalea and exporter of terracotta, moss and concrete. joel on the other hand, the first creation by mother tree, is very much alive, even if its been 1000 years since the rapture (not that he'd know. he's been in a sleep like state once the world basically flipped on his head, and his skin cracked. he never said heartbreak didn't have an effect on joel, just that he never died.) however, one day, he got up. he found a fountain, and he was repaired with godhood. his skin was mended, gold now webbing his no longer terracotta flesh. and he was reminded of the life he had a millennia ago. (joel never claimed to be a smart man. just that he was tall and sexy, and that he loved lore. so he fell in love again, however this time it was with a man named mythical sausage. it was his best mistake. (and oh how he adores that man. and that's not even mentioning sweet little baby hermes)) -tn (tldr i watched joels s1 semi-recently and have read one too many fics lmao)

He knows, deep down, it's a mistake to fall in love again. It broke him before, quite literally. But, Joel (as much as he pretends he isn't), is a bleeding heart. Who couldn't see Sausage smile, hear his laugh and his optimism for the future, and not be taken in by it?

Well. Lots of people, apparently, but that's besides the point.

Sausage treats nature with the same kindness and respect Joel used to hold the mother tree in, so many years ago. The world itself seems to come to his beck and call, and Joel can't blame it.

Hermes was a complete accident, and one he thought would scare Sausage away. Up until then it was just... Fooling around. Joel was still too afraid of commitment, Sausage was too afraid to push. But Sausage deserved to know about Hermes, even if that meant pushing Joel away. Instead, Sausage came even closer.

If Joel thought he couldn't fall in love anymore, he was wrong. Seeing Sausage play with Hermes - their child - he begins to understand why the heartbreak didn't kill him after all.

[prisonguards]

op hi itsa me the ship game asker

you mentioned that you like mythicalbeans and yes they very much hooked up

and now that we see your sausage design may we see some of the one and only divorced whores? (affectionate)

thabkyou

YIPPEE! here they are :D the world def needs more of them

[mcyt-shipping-sideblog]

thinkin ab them always

[liixnt]

I USED TO CALL JOSAGE PINTO BEANS??!?!?!?

[syn4k]

🎧

hi :)

valleys of the young by andrew bird

do you need a reason / we should commit treason / and bring into this world a son / and leave the valleys of the young

[kanda-franca]

smalletho this, swedishbeans that, josage this, smallidarity that-- who else is rooting for the latest and best rivals duo coming to MCC: Shane FireBreathMan and Joel Smallishbeans??

[oleander-neruim]

Some soft quality time with the family

Day 29: Massive

Big and tall and sexy God Joel & his tiny (re: Normal sized) family <3

Theym<3

[mochiwrites]

everyone look away I’m having a josage moment

[bonesteve]

Ha a Fold bolygonak van, vagy lehetseges hogy van koldoke, eredoje, egyetlen, felmutathato, ramutathato gyokere ahonnan minden szepseg, minden csufsag, josag es gonoszsag ered, az Jeruzsalem.

Tobben tudjatok milyen kozelharcot kellett vivnom Asszonnyal hogy most itt lehessek.

Ennek egyetlen oka van, felt.

A harmadik repjegyet bukom el ezert amit kifizettem de mindig van olyan vilagpolitikai esemeny hogy jobbnak lattam stornozni az utamat.

Egyedul kell jonnom, en latom es hallom a szellemkepeket es azokat a hangokat amelyek csak engem szolitanak.

A mai napot Jeruzsalemben toltottem.

Vagy hat-nyolc eve voltam itt es azota valami megmagyarazhatatlan ero visszahuz.

De nem am kedvesen kapaszkodva mosolygosan hanem eronek erejevel, fajdalmasan.

Soha sehol nem ereztem hasonlot sem.

Parizs talan ilyen meg de mar tul sokszor voltam, jobban ismerem mint Budat.

Szoval itt ujra.

Kicsit felve ultem autoba hajnali negykor.

Ott akartam lenni amikor meg almat alussza az ovaros, elsonek akartam belepni a Damaszkuszi kapun.

Az arab friss novenyfuszeres asszonyok megeloztek, mar illatos fuszerfelhobe burkoltak a bejaratot mire lesetaltam a lepcsokon.

Menta, zsalya, kapor, majoranna, kakukkfu es rozmaring kellette magat frissen tepve.

Belevetettem magam a tortenelembe, lassan, meg-megallva haladtam az evezredes csuszos koveken.

Fuldokolva ittam a latvanyt, remego cimpakkal szagoltam a varos koszat es fuszeret.

Ket helyszint akartam celzatosan felkeresni a boklaszas mellett.

A Nyugati-falat es a Szent sziv templomot.

Tokeletesen ateista vagyok, ez nalam az alapvetes.

Kisse modosult ateizmus ez.

Erzem az energiakat.

Belul, ahova bekiabalni se lehet, ott ahol van olyan rejtek ahova se feny se hang nem jut be, csak a rezges van amely megfoghatatlan, elmondhatatlan, megmagyarazhatatlan.

Talan nem is szukseges magyarazni.

Sokaknak egyszeru szavuk van ra.

Ez a hit.

Ami nekem nincs.

A fal fele vettem az iranyt teljesen ontudatlanul.

Egyszercsak megerkeztem a belepteto kapuhoz, megeloztem egy olasz csoportot es beleptem a terre.

Furcsa dolog ez.

A zsidok egyik legszentebb imahelye.

Benne van a kiszolgaltatott felredobott megalazottsag tudata, valami, egy kis darab az eredendobol melyet imadni lehet.

De nem is imadat ez.

A falhoz jarnak a zsidok tobbezer eve imara.

A ter a fal elott hallott mar sokszazmillio imat, kerest, konyorgest, latott ketseget, gyotrelmet, gyaszt, haragot, duhot, boldogsagot, belenyugvast, oromot, remenyt.

En ugy erzem ha nagyon sok ember nagyon hosszu ideig a falnak szegezi mindezt, kizart, hogy ne maradjon ott a teren a rengeteg, szamolhatatlanul sok imabol, ketsegbol, gyotrelembol, gyaszbol, haragbol, duhbol, boldogsagbol, belenyugvasbol, orombol es remenybol egy kicsi, egy pici maradvany minden imadkozotol.

Es mivel ugy erzem marad pici, ezek a pici morzsak, toredekek, apro emberi rezdulesek mind akkumulalodnak, hogy egy olyan elementaris rezgest hozzanak letre ami letaglozza az erre fogekonyakat.

Szegyen nem szegyen ez rajtam konnyezessel bukott ki.

Ahogy neztem mas is hasonlokepp volt ezzel.

Fedetlen fovel nem szabad a falhoz lepni, ki van teve egy plexidoboz, benne egyszer hasznalatos kipak, ezt tesszuk a fejtetonkre, igy megyunk a falhoz.

Tobben ugyanolyan reakciokat produkaltunk.

Nincs bennem meg a hit kepessege, de ezt a szamlalhatatlan imat pontosan ereztem es teljesen letaglozott.

A fejemben kakofon hallottam a konyorgeseket, erzekeltem az erzelmeket.

Mintha ezeket odavittek volna egy nagy zsakban, leboritottak volna a ter kozepere, gonosz vigyorral egy cetlire felirtak volna nesztek hitetlenek, majd a cetlit bedobtak volna ebbe az ezernyelvu kavalkadba.

Tovabbsetaltam annak remenyeben hogy valoban tuleltem a falat, maps-szel kutattam a templom utan.

Hatulrol talaltam meg, koszlott sikatorok tucatjain felve nyitottam ki egy oldalajtot, hogy a forgatag kellos kozepebe keruljek.

A templomban talalhato az a nyilvanvaloan hamis marvany ko, amire a kereszteny hitvilag bizonysaga szerint Krisztus testet fektettek a keresztrol valo levetel utan.

Persze kamu, hogyan vittek volna a Golgotara egy harommazsas marvanyt, mindegy.

Sok eve megerintettem ezt a kovet es mintha aram razott volna meg, konkretan kicsi hijan hatradobott az erintese, itt kezdodott a mostani kalvariam.

Biztam benne hogy a multkori csak valami buta hobort, felfokozott lelkiallapotbeli kamusag volt.

Megerintettem ujra a jovet hat, masodik eljovetelem alkalmaval.

Nos, ciki bevallanom, de a terdem megrogyott es nem tudtam elengedni a marvanyt.

Bebicsaklott a labam es arra eszmeltem hogy ugyanugy terdelek mint az altalam ostobanak tartott filippino asszonysag aki kendoket dorzsol ahitatosan ahhoz a kohoz amely engem rabul ejtett.

Kellemetlenul igyekeztem szabadulni, eronek erejevel sikerult, kitamolyogtam, zihalva ultem a kerekre koptatott kopadon, vissza kellett meg mennem, gyertyat kellett gyujtanom a halottainkert, nagybatyam, anyosom.

Ez volt a masodik Jeruzsalemem.

Nehez, kuzdelmes, nem revelacio-erteku de elgondolkodtato, megfejtendo, szep, kinos, kicsit ciki.

Ateista vagyok.

[kyodaina]

Nagyon josag :)

juj

[zlixlriffs]