#so those patterns will stay free and I will continue posting free patterns

[gyuwoncheol]

Sir, Please.

Pair: Wonwoo x f.reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut. 18+ only (MDNI).

Summary: Wonwoo doesn’t mind keeping you at the edge if it means watching you fall apart.

Warnings: Dom!Wonwoo, Sir! kink, edging, cockwarming, unprotected sex (stay safe, children), squirting, clitoral stimulation, lots of making out, creampie, pussy slapping (like once), overstimulation, dacryphilia, breast play, wrist pinning, dirty talk, use of pet names (Sir, good girl, darling, love, baby, sweetie), glorious aftercare (Wonu is the best), fluff. Please let me know if i missed something. Not proofread, might come back to fix up errors.

WC: 3k

Author’s note: First smut piece for Wonwoo my love. This was only supposed to be post-sex cuddles fluff but thought it was the right time to finally write smut for my favorite boy. As is the plot of this piece, good things come to those who wait 😏 Enjoy!

Tagging fellow Wonu lovers @multi-kpop-fanfics @playmetheclassics for the chaos.

“What’re you doing?” Your boyfriend quizzed, your bare body still on top of his, a cheek resting against his bare chest.

“Doodling,” you mumbled casually as your finger continued to draw lazy patterns on his side.

“Darling, it tickles.”

“I don’t see you flinching.”

“You’re on top of me. If I flinch, you might fall.” He stated matter-of-factly.

You craned your neck to look up at him, flashing a wide grin momentarily, “then suffer.”

You shook along with Wonwoo as he laughed at your reply, a strong arm secured tightly around your torso, while his free hand cradled the back of your head.

A large smile was permanently etched on Wonwoo’s face as you both laid in comfortable silence. When he had collapsed onto you just minutes ago after reaching his climax, he had asked so nicely if he could stay inside a little longer and who were you to complain? You’ve craved for this kind of intimacy with him for awhile now after being both so busy with work.

“You’re lucky i love you,” Wonwoo declared as he kissed the top of your head.

You hummed in response, trailing your fingers again on his side, nails lightly scratching on his skin, “did you just write ‘i love you too’ on my ribs?” He laughs, and you nod an affirmative.

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes and snuggling more into your boyfriend’s chest. Now would be a good time for time to stand still. The setting sun casted warm hues of light inside your bedroom and while the airconditioning was cold, Wonwoo was radiating just the right amount of heat to keep you from shivering.

“I’ve missed you,” you blurted out.

“I know, sweetheart. I’ve missed you too. I’ve missed this,” another kiss was placed on top of your head, “i’m sorry i’ve been so busy.”

“I’m sorry too,” you sighed, resting your chin on his pecs to face him. “I wish i had more time to visit you in practice, or even just see you for lunch.”

“That’s okay, darling. We’re both just in our busy season. It will be over soon, yeah?” This time, Wonwoo’s palm was rubbing circular motions on the small of your back. “I was thinking we should go on a vacation when this all boils over.”

Your eyes grew wide, excited at your boyfriend’s suggestion, “really?”

“Yeah, maybe the countryside? Or out of the country? Where do you want?”

A blush crept up your cheeks at Wonwoo’s gesture of letting you choose, but honestly, you could’ve just stayed at your home and it would be okay. The last time you had a vacation, he made you choose the place too but this time, you didn’t really have a shortlist of destinations. You craned your neck to kiss his lips shortly, “surprise me?” You smiled shyly, “maybe somewhere peaceful and with fresh air? Anywhere as long as it’s with you is all I want, darling.”

“Okay, i’ll plan it out.” He confirmed before rolling you both over so his body hovered above yours

“Where are you going?” You pouted when he made a move to slip out of you.

“I need to clean you up, sweetie.”

You hooked a leg around his waist in retaliation, not at all ready to feel empty just yet. You attempted the most doe eyes you could muster, looking up at your boyfriend through your lashes and clenching your pussy as you did so, “Don’t you wanna fuck me one more time?”

Wonwoo scoffed at your question, the corner of his lips pulling into a devious smile at your sweet tone, “can’t get enough, darling?” His voice was lower by a few octaves, enough to send a shiver through your spine and a gush of wetness in your cunt.

“N-no, sir.”

Wonwoo smirked at the nickname before doing an experimental thrust. When your eyes rolled to the back of your head, he simply chuckled before dragging his cock out slowly and then swiftly burying himself to the hilt, rendering you even more speechless than you were. He could feel the rhythmic spasming of your walls, causing him to grow harder and harder.

You cupped his face to bring it closer to yours, kissing him and sucking at his lower lip. Wonwoo smiles in the kiss, amused at your neediness especially when he feels you lift your hips and roll them on his.

“Eager are we?”

“Wonuuu,” you whined pathetically, clawing at his back.

“Wonu?” he questioned with a glare, pinning you to the mattress agressively, “that’s not what you called me minutes ago, darlin’”

“Well, I don’t know where he went. Maybe if you give me what I want then I’ll start calling you it again,” you smirked, dragging your nails a little more harshly on his skin making him hiss.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, only to dive into your right breast and suck harshly at the bud, eliciting a loud moan from you. He snakes his hand in between you both, thumb finding your clit and rubbing it in circles, immediately feeling you clench around his dick again.He mutters something about you being responsive but it flies over your head as he picks up his pace. The slide is much easier given your mixed cum and your new arousal so it takes him record time to hit your sweet spot. Every ridge and vein on his cock drags against your walls in a way that’s more delicious than awhile ago.

“S-sir, pl-pleaasee,” you shake, the pit of your stomach tightening as you arch your back.

“Does my darling want to cum?” The nickname sounds sickly sweet as it rolls off his tongue and it only helps you get closer to the edge.

You nod your head repetitively, chants of ‘yes’s’ and ‘oh’s’ spilling from your lips, but then Wonwoo withdraws his hand from your sensitive bud and stills inside of you, a vice grip around your body as he licks the shell of your ear, “you don’t get to cum until I say so.” The words were loud, clear and firm, in a tone you knew all too well.

“But Won—“ you cry out loud, tears forming in your eyes as you feel your climax painfully float away.

“Nuh uh,” two harsh thrusts are delivered straight to your gspot as your boyfriend hooks one of your legs on his shoulder, “Call me wrong again and I will not let you cum at all.”

“Fuuuuck,” you mewl from the way his cock rams into you with the new angle, following it up with whines at the thought of getting no release, “S-sorry, sir! ‘M sorry!”

“There it is. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Wonwoo mocks, “now be my good girl and hold it out for me, yeah?”

You’re a incoherent mess as you try to obey him, but it isn’t so easy when his large cock is abusing your sore, sloppy cunt. Words of filth pair each one of his powerful thrusts.

“My dirty little whore”

“So fuckin’ needy for my cock.”

“Can’t get enough of this pussy.”

“Your pussy is mine.”

“All made for me.”

You were letting out moans of pleasure as Wonwoo pounded into you mercilessly, the knot in your stomach making itself felt again.

“Fu– ah! Fuck, s-sir! Please!” You asked, but it only fell on deaf ears. Both your wrists were tightly pinned with just one of your boyfriend’s large hand above your head and his blown out pupils were looking right at you.

“Make me cum, make me cum, make me cum, please!!!” you begged shamelessly, voice shaking and legs closing in as you teetered on the edge of your orgasm.

“Not. Yet.” Wonwoo withdrew fully from your hole and you shrieked at the loss, your hips lifting to chase after his dick only to have it slammed down by his free hand.

“Sir!!!” You scowled, eyebrows scrunching and eyes wide, anger and pain washing away yet another failed orgasm.

A proud, lopsided smirk appeared on your boyfriend’s face. He licked his bottom lip, enjoying the torture he beset on you despite his painfully hard cock.

“What?”

It wasn’t a question. He wasn’t asking, you knew that much.

“Nothing,” you cowered and blinked back your tears, erasing the anger in your face much to your dismay.

“Good girl.”

You swallowed thickly, squirming once more when Wonwoo tapped his heavy length on your pussy, coating himself with your slippery wetness— not that he needed any more of it— before purposely slapping your swollen clit with his angry red tip. The stimulation from that alone already had your toes curling and it took every fibre of your being to not just unravel right there.

You should’ve known calling him ‘sir’ would lead to this, but behind the tearful denials, you knew immense pleasure awaits.

“Siirrr, p-please! I n-need it.”

“Shhh. Patience, darling. We’ve got lots of time.” The demonic chuckle Wonwoo let out had you whimpering pitifully, your hands fighting to break free from his hold.

It seemed your boyfriend was hell bent on prolonging your agony when he simply continues to endlessly tap his shaft on your clit as he pumps himself.

Wonwoo was not usually loud in bed, save for his occasional grunts and broken groans when he falls into bliss. However, he’s decided now would be the perfect time to make matters all the more worse for you. He was being loud about it all, no holds barred. The squelching noises of his dick against your wet lips is now easily drowned out by the guttural moans Wonwoo has let slip past his mouth. You thought his dirty talk is music? Well, this was a symphony.

You had thought you wouldn’t get close this time around since he wasn’t inside you but the relentless knocks on your clit and the obnoxiously loud moans of your boyfriend have proved you wrong. Your hands balled into fists and you squeezed your eyes shut, mentally fighting off the ball of pleasure in your lower abdomen.

“Look at you, fighting so hard,” Wonwoo snickers, pressing down the tip of his cock to your clit in slow circular motions, “show me how good you are yeah?”

“Yes yes yes! ‘M good! Your good girl, promise!” You were so far gone, pliant to each one of your boyfriend’s requests.

“So wet, you’re soiling the bed,” he points out the obvious, “what a fuckin’ mess.” Wonwoo saw another shiver run through you, indicating you were seconds away from release. So for the third time that day, he denies you of the very thing you crave for, letting go of your wrists and then landing a sharp smack to your pussy before completely backing away to watch you spasm and curl up into a ball of needy tears and pathetic whines.

Your head was spinning and your senses were more than heightened. The slippery feeling of your arousal between your thighs were making it harder for you to squeeze them shut and stay still. Wonwoo simply loomed over you, giving you enough time to stabilize your breathing and let your failed orgasm ebb away. He knew that if he’d put so much just as one finger on your skin, you’d cum right away. Contrary to his actions, he wanted you to cum, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see you cry for it first.

“S-sirr,” you sobbed.

A gentle touch carefully landed on your calf and when you didn’t flinch away, Wonwoo let out a sigh of relief, “Yes, baby?”

“Please,” your voice barely above a whisper, “n-need you…”

Whatever other words you had planned were swallowed by Wonwoo in a searing kiss. It was sloppy and messy, his skillful tongue darting to yours, teeth biting at your lips. You both moaned in unison when he impaled you on his cock once more.

“So big,” you groaned, initially amused at the delicious stretch until you realised, he’s had to hold off his own orgasm too.

Wonwoo gives it his all, jackhammering into you like it would be the last time. The sound of moans and skin slapping skin reverberate around the room. And then, there it is again, a coil so tight on your stomach, you fear you’re going delirious to the point of no return.

“Wo— Sir!” You quickly correct yourself, losing the least bit of dignity you had, tears drenching your cheeks, “i’m b-begging, p-please…”

The gentle kiss on your nose set a stark contrast from how his cock abused your sopping cunt, but relief finally took over you at the words whispered in your ear, “so good for me. Let go, baby. I got you.”

A strangled cry ripped out of your throat, your orgasm gloriously hitting you like a tidal wave. Wonwoo continued to talk you through it while holding down your convulsing body and slamming his hips into you, the sight of your pussy creaming his cock eventually producing broken moans from him.

“B-babe, too– ah! Too m-much!” More tears fell on your face as Wonwoo did deep snaps, his pelvic bone grinding on your clit.

“C’mon baby, m’ close. S-so close!”

Incomprehensible noises tumbled out of you when your boyfriend buried himself deep, pushing onto your sweetest spot and stilling there. Between his guttural groans, the perfect ‘O’ shape of his mouth and the thick loads of hot white cum that flooded your velvety walls, another coil snapped within you, a new round of arousal seeping out of your spent hole, except this time, much wetter and hitting you like a ton of bricks.

“Fuuuck, darling,” Wonwoo trembled as the last of his nectar oozed out, “did I just make you squirt?”

“Fuck off,” you scowled, wishing you had more energy to wipe the smug look plastered on your boyfriend’s face.

“So I did?” Wonwoo pursed his lips and scrunched his nose, a look you very much love but absolutely hate right now.

You let your bottom lip jut out in a pout, your brows drawing to the center of your face, “how could I not when you edged me like that!”

“You’re cute,” was his only response, very slowly slipping his softening cock out of you. Your sweet boyfriend peppered kisses all over your face, replacing your frown with a smile. “Did I make you feel good, darling?” He asked genuinely, not wanting to ever subject you to something which you didn’t enjoy doing.

You gave him a shy nod, pulling him closer by his neck to close the gap between your mouths and share a loving kiss, much like how it was way earlier. It didn’t take long for you to part, your lungs still recharging to full capacity after having all the air knocked out of you.

Wonwoo gave you more time to recover, resting his head on the crook of your neck to leave soft kisses on your skin, especially on the blooming bruises he left in his wake.

“Darling, you can’t sleep yet,” he shook you gently when he noticed your prolonged stillness.

A small whine escaped your lips, “but Woo… i’m tired.”

“I know, i know,” he hushed softly, “but we need to get you cleaned up and also, change the sheets. I’ll make it quick.”

You had no time nor energy to protest. You were simply being carried bridal style into the bathroom, your boyfriend making sure you peed before he went on to wash up yours and his sweaty body with warm water. He was so so tender with his touch, especially in all parts between your legs. He’d keep an observant eye to every reaction your face made, careful not to cause any pain.

“Can… can you be mine?” you squeaked, and Wonwoo giggled at the drunken look of love on your face. Every time you think nothing can top sex with your boyfriend in your own little list of World’s Most Wonderful Things, you’re reminded that aftercare by him exists.

“Darling, i’m already yours,” Wonwoo chuckles.

You noded with a grin, brain really starting to drift off into slumber, “I like that.”

He fixes his glasses by the bridge of his nose after giving you a once-over, now dressed in cotton panties and one of his large navy blue shirts which hung mid-thigh on you.

Wonwoo lifts you up to sit on the bathroom counter before cupping your cheeks to meet your eyes, “baby, can you sit here and wait for me for about 10 to 15 minutes, please? I need to change our sheets.”

He had expected you to whine and retaliate, knowing you were always extra clingy after sex, but you simply nodded and smiled. You think you felt his lips on your forehead but you aren’t too sure.

The moment Wonwoo slips out of the bathroom, you’re fighting not to fall asleep, but 15 minutes is long, and maybe you can just lean your head a bit on the cold marble tile—

“Let’s get you to bed, love,” the tall man chuckles as he lifts you in his arms. You swore it hadn’t been fifteen minutes, not even ten! But then he walks past your bed and out of your shared bedroom. The light of the hallway enough to stir your brain awake.

“Where are we going?” You ask, nuzzling your face on the crook of his neck as he cradles you into another room.

Wonwoo laughs at your question, “We have to take the guest bedroom for the night, darling. You’ve soaked through our mattress.”

[vickysaurus-art]

One paleoart for each period since the Cryogenian

Thanks to the timeline on my walls that I've been trying to fill in with my art, I have now reached the point where I've done paleoart for every single period of the Phanerozoic, plus the Ediacaran and Cryogenian! That is to say, every period of the last 700 million years. So with that milestone, I thought it'd be fun to go through those periods in order and show off one paleoart of mine for each!

Cryogenian

In the Cryogenian, the Earth completely froze over. Twice! Life wasn't much to look at yet, but I enjoyed drawing what our planet might have looked like at the time. The girdle of lakes at the left is the equator, which may have had ice-free patches.

Ediacaran

When the ice retreated, animals first began to blossom into their endless forms most beautiful. Ediacaran life was strange and quite unlike the creatures that would come later, but it was nonetheless an incredibly important chapter in life's history. Here we see the Ediacaran weirdos washing up on shore after a storm.

Cambrian

The Cambrian explosion brought much more recognisable creatures. But one thing that's easy to miss is that they were all tiny! All of them? No, Anomalocaris was, with a length of about 40 cm, the dragon of the Cambrian.

Ordovician

Life continued to diversify in the Ordovician, and among this diversity were the cephalopods. They produced the largest animals yet to exist, the orthocones, who hung vertically in the water column and decended upon their prey like a claw game.

Silurian

Although fungi and bacteria had already made forays onto the land deep in the past, things began to get busier there in the Silurian. But these horseshoe crabs, and their larger cousins the sea scorpions, have not come to the shore to stay, but to mate and lay eggs. Unfortunately for the horseshoe crabs, they have come to the very same shore.

Devonian

Our own vertebrate ancestors, like Tiktaalik, were pretty late to the party, only taking their first steps on land in the late Devonian. That's no knock against them - there was plenty to do underwater! This Tiktaalik is busy guarding his eggs while his mate is busy hunting, for example. Who has time to step on land?

Carboniferous

The end of the Carboniferous saw some quite large bugs, like these two Mazothairos chasing off an interloping Meganeura. They're representatives of a pretty interesting group of basal insects called the Palaeodictyoptera, who have a set of weird little extra wings on their thorax.

Permian

Among the many fantastic creatures of the Permian were our own cousins, the synapsids, like these lovey-dovey Moschops. As you can see, this picture and the previous one are done in coloured pencils instead of watercolour, because they're the oldest images I'm including in this post. I only very rarely used watercolours before this year. I think it means I should do some more Permian art, it's such a cool and underexposed period.

Triassic

One mass extinction later, the archosaurs are diversifying all over Triassic Pangaea. Here we have the three main groups of them: Paratypothorax, a pseudosuchian in the background; Peteinosaurus, a pterosaur on top of the cliff; and Procompsognathus, a dinosaur climbing the cliff.

Jurassic

I had three different option for Jurassic paleoart to showcase, so I picked the most experimental one. These backlit insects are not butterflies, but kalligrammatids, a group of large-winged neuroptera, some of which even mimicked maniraptoran dinosaurs like this iridescent Caihong with their patterns.

Cretaceous

The Cretaceous featured some of life's most gorgeous crescendos of diversity, like the Yixian formation, where a Psitaccosaurus wants to visit the favourite tree of a group of Sinosauropteryxes, who are having none of it. This is still one of my favourite pieces I've ever drawn.

Paleogene

The Paleogene featured some of the highest global temperatures of all time, leading to tropical climates all over the planet, including at this lake in what will one day be Messel, Germany. Darwinius, a close cousin to our own ancestors, is having a staredown with the lizard Geiseltaliellus.

Neogene

The world turned colder and dryer in the Neogene, leading to the spread of large grasslands, like these South American ones. Phorusracos, a large terror bird, has caught a Thoatherium on the edge of the forest they both live in. South America was an isolated continent for the duration of the Neogene, leading to a quite unique fauna.

Quaternary

The Quaternary, our current period, is marked by the cycle of ice ages regularly freezing the northern hemisphere. But even during the ice ages, spring would come to the mammoth steppes, and these steppe mammoths are happy to celebrate its coming with a bath in the river.

[headfulloflettuce]

Puppet Darling - Part 4

Credit: Inspired by @wallflowers-in-the-wind’s post here.

Warning: angst, Rhysand being an asshole.

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7

Feyre took a deep, shuddering breath. Sharp claws tugged on the mating bond, demanding her to return. To stop this lunacy.

However, she did not give in. Continuing the journey through the forest connecting Summer to Spring. They had been on the move non stop for the past three days, having managed to finally reach the border on horseback. Feyre had feared Tarquin would make them walk but he had Varian give them three horses to use, as long as they set them free before entering Spring’s territory.

As the grass began becoming more lush and green, the trees taller, reaching to the sky, she stopped her horse, making sure Nyx was still secure in his baby sling. Nesta rode up beside her, Elain a couple steps behind.

“We should walk from this point.” Nesta hopped off her horse, taking Nyx from Feyre so that she could get down too. Elain stumbled off her horse.

“It would have been good to change before leaving.” the middle sister muttered, her puffy dress ruined from dirt and riding, “It’s not like I don’t have pants.”

“C’mon, I think you rock the look.” Nesta smirked, “It looks like you went gardening.”

Elain glared, “And you look like you just returned from the Illyrian mountains.”

Nesta’s smile fell.

“Guys!” Feyre quickly interjected, “We should go.”

Elain huffed, following after Feyre, with Nesta behind them.

The sun fell through the tree’s leaves, casting patterns of light and shadow on the mossy carpet they walked on. Nyx giggled, making Feyre look down.

He smiled up at her, wriggling his arms, trying to catch the fireflies that floated around.

The sun would soon set. Hopefully we can find a small village nearby and stay at a cheap inn.

To prevent getting discovered they’ve had Elain order the rooms since Nesta and Feyre were more likely to get recognized due to their positions in Night Court.

Nyx caught a firefly and stuck it in his mouth.

“Nyx, no!” Feyre quickly pulled his hand out, the beetle gone, “If you were that hungry you should have said something.”

He cooed.

Guess you have been trying to tell me, huh?

The sunlight shining through the tree branches was beginning to dim, casting an orange hue across the ground. Feyre gasped, grabbing at her side, letting out a curse as Rhysand tugged on the bond again. She could practically see his smirk as he took pleasure in the power he held over her.

Feyre sat down on a rock, taking another deep breath.

“Elain, Nesta, we’ll rest here for a bit.”

“But we just entered Spring.” Elain crossed her arms.

“I know but Nyx needs to eat and Rhysand keeps trying to reach me through the mating bond.”

Elain sighed, plopping down on a tree stump across from her.

Feyre took comfort in the fact that they were far enough away that even though her mental shield was weak, it was enough to prevent Rhysand from successfully entering her thoughts, or doing much damage through the bond.

Feyre pulled Nyx out of his wrap, letting him suckle.

“I am angry at you.” Nesta stated.

Feyre looked up at her from her spot.

“I am angry that you’re acting this way.” Nesta murmured, “You were always the strong one. You always had something to say, to retort back with.

Feyre didn’t respond.

“You had me trained to ensure I can fight and protect yet you couldn’t do the same in your little palace? To see you so weak…”

Feyre flinched at her sister’s words.

“It makes me angry.”

“Nesta I think you’re just emotionally constipated.” Elain mused.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Well, you’re angry at everyone, all the time.”

“No I am not.”

“Oh yes you are.” Elain glared, “In fact I would say those Illyrian training camps only made you worse. Staying quiet doesn’t fix a shitty personality you know?”

“And planting flowers doesn’t absolve you from being a ship hopping sister.”

A branch snapped, making them all go quiet. Feyre quickly pulled down her shirt, shoving Nyx back into his sling.

“Did you hear that?” Elain whispered.

“I am ‘emotionally constipated’ not deaf Elain.” Nesta hissed.

“Both of you, be qui-”

“Well, well, well if it isn’t the High Lady of the Night Court herself.” a Spring faerie, dressed in armor and carrying a spike stepped out from behind a tree.

“Hello.” Feyre wasn’t sure what to say, “We’re just passing through. We mean no harm.”

“Like you meant no harm the last time you were here, right?” the male raised his spear, making the three sisters tense.

Nesta pulled out the small sword she had brought with her while Feyre readied to summon a ball of fire. Or at least try, considering her state.

“We don’t want to fight you. We’re just trying to get to the human lands.” Feyre explained.

“Likely story.” the sentry took a step forward, making them back up, “I won’t permit you to destroy Spring, again.”

Nesta took a step forward, “Then you accept death?”

“Ha, look at you. The moment things don’t go your way you resort to violence.” the sentry growled. 

“What’s going on here?” the familiar scent of crisp rain and the earth made Feyre spin around.

Tamlin leaned against an old oak tree, wearing a simple tunic, his hair messy, leaves sticking out of it.

“High Lord, these three entered our lands without permission.” the sentry reported, keeping his spear raised and pointed.

Tamlin hummed, looking at Feyre, “Why are you here?”

“We’re trying to get to the human lands.” Feyre said, not meeting his eyes.

“The human lands? Why is that? Grew tired of the lifestyle back in Night Court?” Tamlin smirked, “I highly doubt the human lands will be able to offer you something better.”

“No, we’re on the run from Rhysand. Please, you have to let us through.”

Tamlin was stunned, “You’re running from your mate?” his eyes quickly narrowed, “And I don’t have to do anything. If I should be doing anything in fact is informing your husband where his wife has run off to.”

“No!” Feyre’s panic spiked. 

Rhysand sensed it, immediately giving the bond an extra painful tug.

Feyre gritted her teeth, trying to keep it together. The only reason she wasn’t striking back was for fear of it giving away where they were. Or somehow landing her back under his control.

 “Please. Please don’t call Rhysand Tamlin.”

“Why not?”

“I told you, we’re running from him.”

“The question is the same, why?”

Feyre paused.

Would he believe her?

Tamlin looked at the sentry, “Escort them to an emissary meeting room, I will be leaving to get in touch with Night Court.”

“Wait no!” Feyre grabbed Tamlin’s arm.

The sentry let out a low hiss, and Nesta took another step forward with her small sword.

“I am running because he used his daemati powers on me.”

Tamlin stilled.

“He…he used them on me when I first left Spring and he’s kept me under for years.” Feyre felt a chill run down her spine at the reminder, “He fed me lines, actions and ideas, while I, or well…a part of me was forced to watch as he controlled my body.”

“A part of you?”

“He kept the bits he approved of at the surface. The parts of me that were willing to listen to him. The rest of me was locked away.”

Feyre didn’t want to speak of the first months after she had realized what was happening. His reaction when she confronted him. The isolation that followed. 

“No part of you should ever have wanted to listen to that bat bastard.” the guard glared, his anger unabiding.

“How do I know you’re telling me the truth?” Tamlin’s voice softened, but his eyes were still sharp.

Feyre tried to speak but only ylped as Rhysand tugged on the bond again.

Not now…

Feyre tried to breathe, her legs weakening as it felt like the rope that tied her to the High Lord of Night was on fire.

“Well?” Tamlin’s tone was impatient.

“You can corroborate it with Lucien if you wish.” Nesta spoke up, helping Feyre stay upright.

“Ha, and why should I believe Lucien?” Tamlin smirked.

He’s your friend. Though, perhaps after ‘my’ meddling not anymore.

“He said it was due to that bargain or whatever that Feyre made with Rhysand.” Nesta countered, “Surely you must be aware of it. You were under that mountain.”

Tamlin’s face darkened, “Of course I remember it, but that doesn’t change anything. Sure a bargain creates a connection between two individuals but it doesn’t give one an inherent ability to control the other’s actions. It’s more complicated than that.”

Nesta quickly tried to come up with another argument to convince him.

She pulled out her handkerchief, showing him the golden powder, “This. This disrupted Rhysand’s control over Feyre.”

Tamlin looked down at the powder, “It’s the same one that the Day Court faerie had on her clothes when she…”

“When she what?” Elain piped in, moving to stand by Nesta as the guard kept glaring at them.

“When she burst into the meeting amongst the High Lords. Then Rhysand coughed and Feyre randomly stood up.” Tamlin tried to touch the golden dust but Nesta pulled it away, pocketing it again.

“We simply want to reach the human lands and secure our safety.” Nests explained calmly, glancing at Feyre who was still trying to even out her breathing.

“Very well,” Tamlin conceded, “You may pass.”

“High Lo-” the sentry was cut off.

“However, I advise against it.” Tamlin glanced at Feyre, noticing how she leaned on Nesta for support, “Despite all of Vassa’s and Jurian’s progress the humans are still quite hateful towards fae. They will have no qualms killing you.”

Elain shivered.

“Instead, I suggest hiding in Autumn Court.”

“Autumn is run by Beron, he won’t house us.” Elain laughed.

“He won’t, but I will.” Tamlin offered.

“What?” Feyre croaked out.

“Stay in Spring, and I will secure you a hideout in Autumn.”

“Why would you do something like that?” Feyre asked quietly.

Tamlin didn’t respond immediately, watching the female before him, “It seems like the right thing to do.”

The sentry and the Archeron sisters exchanged a look of shock. 

“More importantly, how are you going to do that?” Nesta added, “Beron isn’t going to listen. Unless you're planning on hiding us in a cave, I am not sure what your plan is.”

“You let me worry about getting you into Autumn.” Tamlin pulled one of Feyre’s arms over his shoulders, “Instead focus on resting. You’ll need the energy.”

Tamlin had brought them to a small cottage in the heart of Spring Court’s forests, the sentry getting shut down and sent away when he tried to argue with his ruler’s decision.

“Make yourselves comfortable.” Tamlin stepped aside, letting them pass. 

The cottage was small but comfortable. A small stone fireplace rested in the center of the living room with two couches facing it, the connected kitchen housed a table and basic cooking supplies.

“The space is enchanted so you won’t be tracked.”

“Are you staying with us?” Nesta asked.

“No.” Tamlin shook his head, leaves falling out of his golden hair, “I have matters to attend to but I will visit.”

“How long do we have to stay here?” Elain sat down on a couch.

Tamlin narrowed his eyes, “You don’t have to stay here. It’s your choice to do so, leave if you want.”

Ha, it always came down to choice.

Tamlin turned back to the front door, casting Feyre one last glance, “Goodnight.”

The three sisters stood there in silence, Elain interrupting first, “Who wants the bath?”

“I want to bathe Nyx.” Feyre said, taking her son out of his wrap.

“I am going to see if there’s anything to eat.” Nesta headed for the kitchens, Elain trailing after her.

Feyre carried Nyx to the bath, letting him splash in the warm water as she scrubbed grime and dirt off of him.

Rhysand’s tugging of the bond softened.

It was scary how much he could tell about me by feelings alone. I didn’t try to reach out or send an image of Nyx, and yet he knew to be softer now.

Feyre didn’t want to admit it, but he knew her better than anyone.

Better than myself.

She could still sense his presence in the bond, but it was less rough. Beyond the jagged edges was the same gentleness that he had when he held Nyx. Or her.

Nyx splashed Feyre, bringing her back to the present. Feyre smiled mischievously, splashing her child back. Nyx laughed.

Oh that beautiful laugh. That sweet, freeing laugh.

The bond tugged with loving reproach.

No.

He tried again.

I said, no.

The active humming of the bond quieted, filling Feyre with anxiety. She quickly dried off Nyx, not cleaning herself as she left the bathroom to go check on her sisters.

Stepping out of the bathroom Feyre grabbed the wall for support, the bond coming to life, filled once again with the sounds of furious rage. 

His patience wore thin, clearly.

Feyre took a deep breath, forcing herself to move to one of the bedrooms.

“Feyre, Nesta made dinner!”

“I am not hungry.”

Elain cast her a worried look as her sister staggered into one of the bedrooms, shakily putting Nyx on a bed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Did you even bathe?”

“No.”

“You should, I can watch Nyx.”

Feyre wasn’t sure if she wanted to. The idea that Rhysand sensed when she was taking care of their child frightened her.

Would he know when I was at my most vulnerable then?

Elain gave her a small push, wrapping Nyx up in a blanket, much to his displeasure, “Sorry Nyx, no fancy pajamas for you.”

Feyre hesitantly stepped back into the bathroom, double checking that all the soaps and towels were ready. She was stalling. Trying to prevent the inevitable.

Feyre took a deep breath, pulling off the dress she had run in. The lower parts of the fabric had torn, creating slits that had been revealing her legs. 

Made walking easier, but the mosquitoes were a pain to deal with.

She eased herself into the bath, refilling it with hot water.

Rhysand prodded at the bond, the tug a whisper this time. A pull of intimacy.

Feyre quickly began scrubbing her body, trying to distract herself from the neediness she could sense from her mate.

Rhys stroked the bond.

Feyre toppled out of the bathtub, scrambling into a corner, hyperventilating. Her eyes darted around the small room, as if expecting Rhys to jump out of the cupboard.

He’s not here. 

He cannot touch me.

She could almost feel his fingers on her, tracing her body.

He’s not here.

His hands wrapping around hers, forcing them up, leaving her exposed.

I am safe.

Feyre repeated the mantra, her nails digging into her skin to distract from the desire that permeated their mating bond.

A knock at the door startled her, and Rhysand, the bond quieting once again.

“Feyre? Are you alright in there?” Nesta’s voice sounded, muffled through the door.

“I am fine.” Feyre said, breathlessly. 

“Do you need help…?”

“No.” Feyre got up, drying herself off with a towel that turned a gray color due to all the dirt she didn’t wash off. 

She opened the door, coming face to face with Nesta, her hair down as she was ready to take a bath as well.

Nesta said nothing besides, “Is there a bucket or something in there?”

“I…yes. There is.” Feyre managed out.

Nesta nodded, walking past her sister, closing the door between them.

Now that she thought of it…she never got Nesta another way to clean herself properly, did she?

Is this what Nesta felt everytime she took a bath? That feeling of danger and vulnerability?

Feyre squeezed her eyes shut, urging her unfallen tears away.

I am such a horrible sister. I should have fought harder.

Rhysand offered comfort on his side of the bond but she didn’t accept it, walking back to the room she left Nyx and Elain in.

Elain had managed to get Nyx to settle down and sleep, carefully avoiding getting mud or leaves onto the bed from her dress.

“What were you doing in there?” Elain asked.

“What?”

“Well you weren’t washing clearly.” Elain gestured to her dirty hair.

“I am tired.” Feyre said simply.

Elain’s lips parted slightly in annoyance, but she didn’t say anything, leaving Feyre alone with Nyx.

Feyre got in bed, holding Nyx’s hand as he slept, listening to his soft breathing.

Beautiful baby.

She let out a small gasp as she felt Rhysand tug on the mating bond again.

Leave me alone, I am trying to sleep.

It only seemed to encourage the male as he pushed a wave of anger down the bond.

If you keep doing this you won’t get to sleep either.

It was clear that Rhysand didn’t care as he continued trying to get her attention through the thread that tied them together.

Feyre twisted and turned, the bond pulling her back from the verge of sleep every time she’d get close to passing out.

No rest for the wicked. 

Feyre laughed softly, preparing for a long, long night.

Next: Part 5

Masterlist

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[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien’s Blooming Amidst Turbulent Desires MQ translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a MQ that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

[Warning]: The content of this MQ is pretty explicit and may not be suitable for individuals under the age of 17 (CN server). It is recommended that those who do not meet this age requirement refrain from proceeding beyond this point.

This MQ accompany 🔞 High Temperature ASMR.

As Lucien speaks, he raises his hand under my gaze and meticulously unbuttons the topmost button.

In the faint and elusive light and shadow, his slender neck and collarbone gradually reveal themselves, following the movements of his fingertips and the downward opening of his collar.

Lucien, as if completely unaware, raises his hand and casually winds the work badge around his wrist, tightening it leisurely.

“As you can see, I can't move freely right now.”

‘‘So, would you say I'm cooperative enough like this?”

[Note: This time I haven’t had time to subtitle due to acads and research stuff. I’ll do subtitle later when I have time, for now I’ll just post the transcript to quench ppl curiousity lol. If you want to follow along the voice acting you can follow here]

[Exclusive Radio- Longing for Returning Home]

Conference Participant: Professor Lucien... Professor Lucien, please stay!

Lucien: Hm? Is there something you need from me?

Conference Participant: Just heard from other professors, did you book the earliest flight back home on the day the conference ends?

Lucien: Yes, that's correct. Is there anything else related to the conference that I need to be involved in afterward?

Conference Participant: No, it's just that I feel it's a pity for you to leave in such a hurry.

Conference Participant: Granada can be considered a famous tourist destination. It's a rare opportunity to come here, so why not appreciate the scenery?

Conference Participant: Why don't you join other professors and explore the local area for a few more days? I'd be happy to extend my hospitality to you as a host.

Lucien: Thank you for your kind intentions. It's just that due to our respective business travel arrangements, my girlfriend and I haven't seen each other for a long time.

Lucien: When we were talking just now, we discussed our itineraries. She will be returning to our home country a few days before me. By the time the conference is over, she should be waiting for me at home.

Lucien: Being by her side is more relaxing for me than traveling around.

Conference Participant: Girlfriend? Oh, is it the person who messaged you during dinner today?

Conference Participant: Haha, no wonder you looked at your phone in a good mood and even took photos of the churros on the table from different angles.

Conference Participant: So, you were taking those pictures for her, huh?

Lucien: (chuckles) You caught me… Um, she's curious about the snack.

Lucien: It's a pity that I can't bring a portion back for her to taste.

Conference Participant: Indeed, freshly fried items like that don't hold up well during long-distance transportation. However, there are other local souvenirs you can bring back from the area.

Conference Participant: I remember some shops are selling hand-painted tea sets and unique patterned textiles... They are very popular among girls.

Lucien: (in an interested tone) Is that so…

Lucien: Can you send me the address of the shops you just mentioned?

Lucien: If I have some free time during the conference in the next few days, I'd like to go and take a look.

Conference Participant: No problem, I will send it to you shortly.

Conference Participant: Ah, originally I was planning to be the spokesperson for a few other professors, and we were all going to travel together for a few days.

Conference Participant: Seeing you like this, I won't continue to persuade you anymore.

Lucien: Indeed, when the heart longs to return*, it's hard to stay for long.

(T/N: "归心似箭" is an idiom that literally translates to "the heart returns like an arrow." It is used to describe the strong longing and eagerness to return home or to a familiar place. It expresses his sentiment of wanting to go back to her, his 'home' where he truly belongs and feels comfortable 🥺)

Lucien: When we have the opportunity in the future, I will come back to Granada with her and explore the scenery and cuisine here.

[Part 1]

The taxi speeds along the cobblestone streets of Granada, passing through the dappled light and shadow beneath the palm leaves.

Moving forward, the outline of a hotel in the distance gradually becomes clear. The colored mosaic wall reflects a bright luster in the sunlight.

I compare it with the photo on my phone and feel pleasantly surprised. I give a thumbs-up to the driver beside me.

MC: You're amazing! That's the hotel!

The driver raises his eyebrows in satisfaction, smoothly turning the steering wheel. I switch back to the chat interface, suppressing my excitement as I look at the message just sent by Lucien.

Lucien's message: "If I remember correctly, you are finishing work and returning from Finland today, right?"

MC's reply: "Yes, I'm currently checking in for the flight with my colleagues. How about you? How much longer until you return home?"

Lucien's message: "Very soon. The conference has entered its final stage, and it will end within the next two or three days."

MC's reply: "Sigh, it's been almost a month since we last saw each other. Even two or three days feel so long…"

I switch to a music app and deliberately share a sad love song with a mournful melody.

I imagine him in front of the screen, raising his eyebrows with a slightly helpless expression, and I hold back a laugh as I step out of the taxi.

As I walk, my fingertips slide across the screen, searching for the room number he had told me during our previous conversation. Suddenly, a notification for a new message pops up.

Lucien's message: "Mm, I also really want to see you."

My heart suddenly becomes soft. As soon as the elevator door slides open, I eagerly walk towards the corridor and stop in front of the door of room 1609.

I suppress my quickening heartbeat and knock on the door, then speak in a rough and hoarse voice.

MC: Good afternoon sir, room service.

When he opens the door and sees me, Lucien should briefly be taken aback, then call out my name and hug me, right?

As if in response to this speculation, the next second, the familiar voice slowly but steadily emerges from the room.

Lucien: The door is open. Come in please.

MC: (suprised)….

While this makes it more convenient, how can this person have no sense of caution? I must remind him properly later.

With these thoughts in mind, I gently lift the suitcase and hold my breath as I push open the heavy room door.

The bright and spacious suite exudes tranquility, and the gauze curtains gently sway by the floor-to-ceiling window. I quickly scan the room but don't see the familiar figure I've been yearning for day and night.

I place the suitcase against the wall and am about to walk towards the inner area when suddenly, I hear a familiar voice from behind me.

Lucien: I've been waiting for you for a long time.

With his words, warm arms envelop me. The familiar scent embraces me from behind, instantly wrapping me in a hug.

I let out a surprised gasp and felt the softness of his hair brushing against my neck, causing a slight itching sensation.

In his usually calm voice, now there's an unmistakable sense of joy that can't be ignored.

Lucien: (playfully) So, this hotel even has such thoughtful room service, huh?

[Part 2]

Upon hearing his voice, my heart seemed to be filled with light and joyful happiness all of a sudden.

I smile and release the handle of the suitcase, swiftly turning around and throwing myself into this long-lost embrace.

The hand around my waist tightens imperceptibly. Lucien's nose gently nestles itself in my hair, and he lets a barely audible sigh.

The shadows of the trees sway in the tranquil room. Neither of us speaks as if we want to make up for the time apart over the past month through this wholehearted embrace.

After a moment, I finally raise my head and look into his slightly brightened eyes.

MC: I had planned to give you a surprise! How did you guess that it was me who came?

Lucien tilts his head slightly, indicating for me to look at the Bluetooth earphones in his ear.

Lucien: I was just about to play the song you sent me and carefully "appreciate" it, but unexpectedly, it automatically connected to another device.

Lucien: So, I guessed you must be nearby.

MC: Damn it, I can't believe I was caught at the last moment because of such a small detail.

(T/N: "功亏一篑" is an idiom that means to fail at the last moment due to a minor mistake or oversight. It describes a situation where one's efforts fall short of success, often due to a small oversight or mistake, after putting in a lot of effort up until that point.)

I playfully raise my hand in a mock expression of displeasure, and Lucien cooperatively lowers his head, his slender eyebrows slightly curved.

Lucien: But I feel that no matter how it happens, your presence itself is already enough of a surprise.

MC: (laughs) Professor Lucien, you're getting better and better at coaxing me aren’t you?

As I say this, I reach out and ruffle his hair. Lucien doesn't get up; instead, he leans closer and gazes at my cheek.

Lucien: Weren't you supposed to return to our home country with the team today? How come you came to Granada on your own?

MC: You know the answer already... What do you think?

I let out a soft hum and coquettishly poke Lucien's arm.

MC: I had to take a connecting flight from Finland because there were no direct flights. After landing, I took a long taxi ride to find this hotel.

MC: I must say, it's really difficult to meet Professor Lucien in person.

Lucien holds my hand and nods earnestly.

Lucien: Mm, it is indeed very challenging. (playfully faking a sigh) What should I do, how to reward this hardworking Miss Producer who traveled from afar?

I look around and point to the soft-looking sofa by the window.

MC: Then, I want to ask the Great Professor to accompany me to lie down for a while. My waist is sore after traveling for such a long time-!

Before I can even exclaim in surprise, Lucien swiftly picks me up in his arms. The next second, we both sink into the sofa bathed in the scent of sunlight.

I laugh and sit up, using one hand to support myself against his chest.

MC: (laughs happily) You're pulling a sneak attack!

Lucien: (laughs softly) What sneak attack, I've only learned a thing or two from Teacher MC.

As Lucien speaks, he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, and I take the opportunity to intertwine my fingers with his. I gaze at the person beneath me, lost in my own thoughts.

Even though we video call every few days, being this close and gazing at each other, I can still sense some subtle changes.

His cheeks seem a little thinner; I wonder if it's due to not liking the food or being too busy to eat properly.

His hair has grown longer, now covering his eyebrows when lying down like this. Under his eyes... there seems to be a faint shadow of dark circles.

I can't help but put down my smile, and my hand gently brushes against the area under his eyes.

MC: (displeased) You even have dark circles... Didn't you say the conference was entering its final stage? Why aren't you resting properly?

Lucien: It was only the introduction of new topics that had come to an end, and the information left over from the previous meeting needed to be summarised.

Lucien: We still need to make good use of the time before the wrap-up.

MC: So do you still have work scheduled for today?

Lucien: Um, there is still much experimental data to compare. After summarizing the results, I must submit the analysis report to the organizers before ten o'clock.

MC: Is that so? I had hoped to hug you a little longer... Sigh, I guess I'll have to watch work take you away again.

I glance at the remaining time, reluctantly about to get up, but Lucien shows no intention of letting me go.

The hand around my waist tightens a little more, making me bend my elbow and get even closer to him.

As soon as I get closer, his warm lips follow, gently and affectionately kissing from the sensitive curve of my ear to my cheek.

Unable to resist the tickling sensation, I laugh and tilt my head slightly, trying to evade. The next second, Lucien firmly holds my jaw with a little dissatisfied expression.

Lucien: (gasps and whispers hoarsely) MC, don't hide…

With a hoarse voice near my ear, his cool and slender fingers caress my neck, slowly trailing upwards with an irresistible hint.

Wet and deep kisses accompany his movements, falling on my body like drizzle.

I clench the corner of his clothes tightly, unconsciously tilting my head back, feeling the sunlight reflected off the glass flash before my eyes.

I close my eyes, and it seems like my mind is also becoming hazy in this intense heat.

It isn't until the curtain hanging above us brushes against my face that I finally come to my senses. I take a breath and push Lucien's shoulder as if waking him up.

MC: W-Wait a moment.

Lucien: (breathless, in a hoarse and somewhat dazed voice) …Huh?

Lucien's dark eyes are filled with turbulent depth, and his hair is slightly damp. The actions of his hands don't stop; as if he is about to lean down again the next second.

I try to push his shoulder harder, my breath slightly unsteady as I speak.

MC: Didn't you just say that there is still a lot of data to organize and summarize?

MC: ...Then, now... shouldn't we…?

Lucien: (still trying to steady his breath) Mm.

Lucien responds vaguely, his lips still lingering on the side of my neck.

Lucien: (whispers very lowly in a clingy tone) But right now... I can't bear to let you go.

The intimate bewitchment leaves me feeling dizzy. I try to hold on to what little rationality I have left and tilt my head up to peck his nose.

MC: If Professor Lucien is going to be this unreasonable, I seriously need to consider whether I should continue creating these "surprises" in the future.

Lucien tightens his lips, a hint of leniency and resignation flashing across his face. I button up my disheveled collar, smiling as I stand up from the sofa and nuzzle against his neck.

MC: (smiles) We still have a few more days to spend together, there's no need to rush…

MC: But I'll be here working with you~ After you're done with your busy work, we can go out and have a delicious meal!

I say as I walk to the luggage. After a moment, the sound of the sofa rubbing against the floor finally emerges.

Only then do I sit next to him, gently holding my notebook. I casually place a pillow behind my back and begin browsing through my work notes from the past few days.

Perhaps it's because I'm by his side, I feel like I'm back at home, and without realizing it, I become more relaxed and at ease.

After flipping another page, I lazily adjusted to a more comfortable position, and one of my feet habitually rested on his leg.

The room falls silent for a moment, with only occasional faint sounds of paper rustling. After a while, Lucien suddenly speaks my name in a low voice.

Lucien: MC.

I respond absentmindedly, my eyes still fixed on the screen. The voice by my ear pauses briefly, seemingly carrying a hint of helplessness.

Lucien: Do you want to go inside and wait for me?

MC: Hey, did I disturb you? But I haven't even made much noise.

I don't understand, so I lift my head from the screen and notice Lucien's eyes flickering unusually. Suddenly, I grasp what's happening.

A mischievous idea springs up. I lift my heels and move along the long legs hugged by his trousers.

MC: You haven't said the reason why you suddenly 'asked me to leave' yet.

Through the firm fabric, the legs beneath my tiptoes seem to tense for a moment. I persistently speak up, refusing to relent.

MC: Did I really 'disturb you? Professor Lucien, could it be that you can't even resist this level of 'temptation'?

MC: Oh, this won't do~ When doing research, you must stay focused. How can you let yourself get distracted by a little bee that tests your self-control?

With those words, my tiptoes press on his leg, watching as Lucien bites his lip, and I can't help but curl up the corners of my mouth.

Having witnessed his usual ease, the sight of him struggling to restrain himself now makes me tempted to tease him further... Unfortunately, it's not the right moment.

However, being able to see him so openly longing is enough to satisfy me.

I close my notes, intending to leave as soon as I can, and am about to do so when he suddenly grabs my ankle.

Lucien's voice seems a little hoarse, and his fingertips are caressing gently.

Lucien: (whispers hoarsely) My teacher's "lesson" is indeed something.

Lucien: (x2) In terms of concentration, I indeed still have much to learn.

Lucien: (x3!!) So, (chuckle) can MC teach me how to do it?

His voice seems to carry a certain bewitchment. My breath catches for a moment, but I quickly snap out of it.

He's setting another trap, waiting for me to step into it willingly.

I let out a light snort in my heart. I pretend to take the bait and place my hand on his face.

MC: Of course, I can. However, I believe in tailoring my teaching to the individual, so I need to have a basic understanding of the student's situation first.

MC: Tell me, how far can you restrain yourself when facing my advances? And what would your reactions be at different levels of the advances?

Lucien holds my hand on his cheek, and lightly rubs against it, as if teasingly.

Lucien: This is a bit challenging for me.

Lucien: (chuckle) After all, when faced with your 'invitation', I seem to have never tried to resist.

I let out a long "oh," my voice softening a bit.

MC: They say learning requires understanding things thoroughly. Since there are things I don't understand, I have to figure them out.

Lucien: So, how does Teacher MC want to conduct this research?

I lock eyes with Lucien for a moment, then suddenly withdraw my fingertips from his hand, leaning forward to lightly peck his lips.

Before he can react, I quickly get up from the sofa and take two steps back, smiling mischievously as I speak.

MC: How about we conduct a little experiment~ Let me see how self-controlled Professor Lucien can be when he gets serious.

MC: I will adjust the variables to obtain accurate results. After all, as your special assistant, I've also accumulated a lot of experience and knowledge.

MC: Then, the experiment of an intern professor officially begins now. I kindly request this gentleman to cooperate accordingly.

MC: As for this special report, I will definitely record it diligently~

[Part 2-Intertwined Memory]

=Flashback, Narrator POV=

In the afternoon sunlight, there's a hazy and drowsy warmth floating around.

The cicadas are buzzing loudly, but Lucien seems completely unaware as he browses through the continuous stream of data. Other than the movements of his fingertips while flipping through the materials, he remains almost motionless at the desk.

Until the sound of a text message, like a small pebble, broke the frozen silence.

MC: "Yes, I'm currently checking in for the flight with my colleagues. How about you? How much longer until you return home?"

Looking at the message from the girl, Lucien's expression softened subconsciously. Thinking about the schedule that still had two or three more days to go, he lets out a light sigh.

When he realizes his actions just now, he pauses for a moment.

...It's strange. Whether for himself or the girl, business trips have become routine. He shouldn't feel this kind of helplessness.

Being separated from her just feels like something he can't get used to, no matter what.

After pondering for a moment, he replies in a composed tone, detailing the upcoming work arrangements.

However, he can't help but continue scrolling through the photos the girl had sent during their previous chat, not putting down the phone just yet.

She pointed at the reindeer statue behind her, her eyes shining as she looked at the camera; the photo of her holding up her unappetizing work lunch, making a distressed expression and sticking out her tongue.

The last picture is of the entrance to the Arctic Museum, with a caption that read, "If you were here, I'm sure I could understand more clearly."

Lucien's lips unconsciously raised upwards, and his fingertips gently stroke the phone screen.

During the days they hadn't seen each other, it seemed that the girl's life had experienced many exciting moments.

Even though they chatted every day and occasionally shared interesting experiences through video calls, he still felt it wasn't enough.

Having grown accustomed to the girl's company, this time their parting feels exceptionally long. The fleeting moments shared through digital communication can't fill the missing hole left behind.

Lucien purses his lips and gently places the phone on the table.

Just wait a little longer... When they meet again in a few days, he is determined to embrace her and listen to her happily recount all the moments she didn't have a chance to share.

Ding.

The notification sound rings again. The girl sends a sentimental love song—a melodramatic tune with a cliché title "Golden Song of the Year."

Imagining her acting sorrowful, Lucien can't help but curve his lips and replies with a "Mm, I miss you too."

Afterward, he takes out the Bluetooth earphones from the case, intending to listen to her spontaneous sharing. As his gaze unintentionally sweeps across his phone screen, he suddenly freezes.

...there is no indication of a connection on the screen.

These earphones seem to have automatically paired with another device.

Lucien instinctively holds his breath, carefully listening to the sounds outside the room. Soon, he hears familiar footsteps in the corridor, precisely stopping at the door.

In the next moment, the heavy door is knocked on. Someone deliberately lowers their voice and speaks in a rough manner, "Good Afternoon, sir, room service."

It's her.

His heartbeat seems to quicken involuntarily. Lucien stands up from the desk and walks lightly towards the door.

As he walks, that missing hole seems to be suddenly filled by some intangible presence, gurgling and flowing gently.

The warm breeze in Granada lifts a soft corner of the curtain, and the vibrant colors of summer flood into the room.

Lucien: The door is open. Come in please.

Lucien heard himself speak.

=Flashback and Narrator POV END=

[Part 3]

I walk quickly to the inner room, hook the door handle with my hand, and slowly close the door, blocking the view behind me.

I hold my breath and listen carefully through the gap in the door. After a moment of silence, the sound of paper flipping resumes. It seems that Lucien has started working again.

I comfortably lie down on the lounge chair and continue to look at my notes. Occasionally, I raise my head to glance in the direction of the balcony outside.

The soft curtains gently sway with the breeze, concealing the figure in the living room from my view.

Is Lucien currently working diligently? If I don't do anything, how long will it take for him to knock on this door?

I retract my gaze and ponder with interest. In the warm afternoon breeze, I lazily flip to the next page of the data.

As the sunlight slowly moves to the west, the steaming heat gradually dissipates. When I raise my head again, I realize that the sky has darkened.

*sexy bgm playing*

I walk to the balcony and notice that the lights are on in the living room, casting a shadow of Lucien on the gauze curtain. I yawn and glance at my phone.

The afternoon has passed since the announcement of the experiment, yet there hasn't been a knock on the door. I haven't even received a message from Lucien.

MC: Huh? When you get serious, you actually have quite a strong willpower.

I squinted my eyes as I looked at the shadow cast on the gauze curtain. It seems that it's time to introduce some "bait" as the experiment's variable.

After contemplating for a moment, I unhurriedly send him a message.

MC's message: "Is the work still going smoothly~"

I spin a pen around my fingers, and soon enough, my phone receives a reply.

Lucien's reply: "Mm, I've already read most of it."

MC's message: "So, Professor Lucien is quite efficient when I'm not around, huh."

MC's message: "Speaking of which, would sending text messages disturb you?"

On the other end of the screen, Lucien seems to have pondered seriously for a moment before replying.

Lucien's reply: "If only seeing the text, it seems to be manageable."

Oh~ that means there might be a little ripple in his heart, but not so much. Come to think of it, we do indeed communicate more frequently through voice calls.

If I were to use 'voice' to entice him, what would his reaction be?

MC's message: "I'll be relieved then~ However, it's almost 9 o'clock now. How much longer will it be until you can rest with me?"

The name in the chat box is replaced by "Typing..." A moment later, a new message alert sounds again.

Lucien's reply: "It will take some more time to process the remaining data. You can go ahead and rest."

MC's message: "But I'm having trouble falling asleep Q.Q How about letting me listen to the sound of you working? It can serve as a soothing white noise to help me sleep."

After a moment, Lucien's voice dialed in, his calm voice is accompanied by the sound of pages flipping.

Lucien: (in a calm yet a bit wronged tone) I thought a certain Miss Professor who's immersed in the experiment wouldn't come to see me today.

MC: Haha, actually, I was planning to just sleep like that. But…

MC: Thinking that you're so close to me, I feel a little unwilling to give in to sleep.

Lucien's breathing seems to have slowed down a bit, but he still speaks calmly and unhurriedly.

Lucien: Alright, rest assured and take your time. We don't have to rush things, after all, we still have several days to spend together, don't we?

...This person has quite a good memory.

(lol he 'jabs' her back with the same sentence that she said earlier 😂)

I silently curl the corners of my lips and casually respond as if nothing happened.

MC: Indeed, that makes sense. Oh well, don't mind me anymore, just focus on your work~

Lucien responds with a sound but doesn't say anything further. On the other end of the phone, the sound of flipping pages resumes.

The rustling sound mixed with faint breathing noise echoes in my ears, like the evening breeze brushing through the drooping branches. I lift my fingertips, tracing the shadow cast on the window.

MC: Lucien, actually I've been thinking about how to spend this evening with you since several days ago.

Lucien: Hmm? (chuckles, and then whispers seductively) What have you imagined?

I chuckle softly and shift to a more comfortable position, leaning against the railing.

MC: ...Many things. Um, so many things.

MC: I heard this place is famous for its night views, and many hotels have private outdoor baths.

MC: Embracing each other under the cover of night, watching the flickering lights on the water's surface... It should be a very cozy and romantic experience.

MC: Or maybe like our previous trip, getting close under the moonlight, sharing a glass of red wine, and then…

I let out a soft sigh, as if recalling the lingering and intoxicating kisses from that night.

The sound of flipping pages on the other end of the phone stopped at some point. I turn my head with interest and speak softly.

MC: Do you really have to work on your report until so late tonight?

MC: After being apart for so long... I really miss you.

The shadow cast on the gauze curtain seems to pause for a moment, and an unspoken understanding silently flows between us by our ears.

When he speaks again, Lucien's tone is subtly deeper than before.

Lucien: (his voice noticeably deeper and a bit hoarse) This lady has quite a gift for teasing people, even more so than I had imagined.

MC: (pretending to be dumb)...Why suddenly bring that up? I just wanted to chat with you, that's all.

Lucien: (slowly whispers) Is that so? It seems like I misunderstood then.

Lucien: (whispers with even lower and more hoarse voice) I originally thought this was an observational experiment with escalating variables.

I lazily raise my tone at the end of my sentence.

MC: Can't it be both? While I do want to conduct the experiment, I also want to tell you the truth.

MC: Don't you have anything to tell me right now?

The shadow on the gauze curtain gently sways with the breeze, and Lucien seems to chuckle softly.

Lucien: (chuckles softly) For example?

MC: For example... "Miss Professor, I want to terminate this experiment early because I miss you very much too."

MC: However, I only accept applications submitted in person.

I hang up the phone before Lucien can say anything else, feeling intrigued as I gaze in the direction outside.

Will this door be knocked on tonight?

[Part 4]

The warm morning light streams through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the balcony, drenching the room with harmonious light and shadow.

I sit in front of the dressing table, lost in thought as I tidy my clothes and glance at the door that remains unknocked. I purse my lips slightly.

I pick up the notebook and write the word "physical contact" next to "sound".

Dealing with this cunning person, it seems like it's time to further upgrade the variables.

If I "tempt" him a little today, he'll probably cross that boundary, won't he? After all, yesterday he seemed reluctant to let me go on the sofa.

As I'm reminiscing about the unfinished 'embrace', I suddenly hear a knock on the door behind me, and the door is gently pushed open.

Lucien leans against the door, smiling as he meets my gaze through the mirror. There seems to be nothing unusual in his expression.

Lucien: Breakfast has arrived, do you want to eat together?

MC: Coming right up!

I take three quick steps and grab the hem of his clothes, leading him toward the outer room while teasing him as I speak.

MC: Let me guess, it's not black coffee with bread again, is it?

Lucien: Of course not. I had the hotel prepare some local churros for us. I remember that you mentioned being curious about its taste in our previous conservation.

Lucien then speaks as his gaze falls on my ear.

Lucien: (chuckle) Your earring seems to be slightly askew.

I blink belatedly. I'm about to raise my hand to adjust it when suddenly I think of something and naturally glance at Lucien.

MC: But I can't see the angle at which the earring is askew... Could you please help me adjust it, Professor Lucien?

I step forward and see Lucien nods as he bends down toward me.

Lucien: Mm, I'd be happy to help.

The warmth of his fingertips reaches my earlobe as the slightly cool earring rotates in my ear piercing. I tilt my head slightly and hear a hint of helplessness in his voice.

Lucien: The clasp design is quite intricate, so don't move around too much for now.

MC: It's just a little disturbance, it should be fine, right?

I smile and lean closer to him, almost feeling the warmth of his breath brushing against my face. The hand near my ear seems to pause for a moment.

MC: Why don't you continue?

The temperature in the air quietly rises amidst the tranquility, his figure silhouetted against the morning light, enveloping me within.

My ear is gently caressed as if by an elusive touch. I gaze into Lucien's deepening eyes, anticipating the kiss that may descend at any moment.

But in the next second, Lucien loosens his fingertips.

Lucien: Hmm, it's all adjusted now.

Amidst my astonished gaze, Lucien straightens up and calmly walks to the dining table. It's as if that momentary flash of action was just my imagination.

I hide my inner astonishment and sit across from Lucien with a calm expression, but my mind is racing with thoughts.

Strange, why does he seem so nonchalant as if nothing happened…

The long-awaited delicacies seem to have lost their appetizing flavor. I stir the juice absentmindedly, not noticing the fleeting smile that appeared on Lucien's face.

After a while, the person in front of me calmly puts down the fork.

Lucien: Weren't you curious about the taste of churro for a long time? Why does it seem like your interest is lacking now?

Lucien: Did you try it and find that it doesn't suit your taste?

MC: ....Haha, maybe I ate too many snacks on the way yesterday.

Lucien: Have some juice first. There's still some work to do at the seminar, I'll head to the reference room first.

MC: So soon... Take it easy. I'll be waiting for you to come back.

I say it while casually adjusting his tie. It's only when I hear the sound of the door closing that I slowly withdraw my gaze.

The variable has already been upgraded from "voice", but Lucien hasn't shown a more noticeable reaction than last night.

Could it be that this light and fleeting "physical contact" wasn't enough? Or is this person deliberately acting like nothing happened?

As I ponder, I set the cup down and suddenly catch a glimpse of a badge lying in the corner of the dining table. Picking it up, I find it contains Lucien's job title and other information.

MC: ...Conference badge? Did he accidentally drop it?

I quickly stand up, ready to return the badge to the conference venue, but suddenly, I pause, as if realizing something.

Then I turn around and go back to the room, putting on the new long dress I bought.

The hotel's architectural structure is far more complex than I had imagined.

With the guidance of several staff members, I finally navigate through the maze of stairs and find the corner where the reference room is located.

The bright corridor is empty, with no one in sight, and occasionally, I can hear faint footsteps in the distance, but they never come close. I withdraw my gaze and gently push open the door in front of me.

The air seems to be infused with the subtle scent of books. The dark metal chandelier and the light wooden bookshelves work together to create a bright and clean atmosphere.

As expected, there is no one in the reference room at this moment. I tread lightly, passing through the light and shadows cast by the rows of bookshelves until I finally spot Lucien in the corner.

He is dressed in a cold white lab coat, sitting on a chair, his gaze lowered as he flips through something. His slender fingers occasionally brush over the yellowed pages.

The eyes and eyebrows that are usually slightly curved when facing me are now focused and carry a distant coldness that keeps others to remain at a respectful distance.

Perhaps it's because I haven't seen Lucien in work mode for a long time, I couldn't help but stop in my tracks and silently watch him for a moment before finally walking over.

Noticing the sound behind him, Lucien casually raises his eyes to look. He seems somewhat surprised and lets out a soft "Hm?". The expression in his eyes instantly softens.

Lucien: How did you find your way here?

MC: I came to deliver something to a certain careless professor~

I smiled and waved the work badge in my hand, walking briskly to his side while also glancing around the area.

An extensive collection of anatomical diagrams and texts, medical tools, and X-ray films emitting a cold glow... I withdrew my gaze and curiously asked.

MC: Is this conference related to medicine?

Lucien sets the work badge aside and naturally takes my hand in his.

Lucien: Mm, it mainly focuses on the application of neuroscience in rehabilitation medicine.

Lucien: Local scholars have proposed many ideas in the direction of neural circuits. After exchanging our research progress, we are considering jointly publishing new research findings.

MC: Indeed, sparks are more likely to fly when minds collide~ But why is it that only you are here?

Lucien: The locals are accustomed to having a chat at the dining table after finishing their meal. Since mealtime has just passed, it will take some time before they're coming over.

I nod thoughtfully, keenly picking up on a message — which means, no one will come to disturb us right now.

I respond with an "Oh" and curiously open my mouth to speak.

MC: By the way, we haven't really talked much about your research in this area.

MC: Neuroscience and rehabilitative medicine... Does that mean helping patients recover through certain brain activities?

Lucien: The brain and body are naturally coordinated through interactions to maintain dynamic stability in various basic physiological indicators.

Lucien: Many physiological phenomena are influenced by the central nervous system. Similarly, they can also reflect the state of the human brain and even cognition.

Lucien: If you're curious, I can use heart rate as an example to give a simple explanation.

As Lucien speaks, he casually picks up a stethoscope from the medical kit in the corner. I calmly stroke my chest, but suddenly feel nervous.

If Lucien hears my rapidly beating heart right now, he will probably notice that I'm plotting something…

MC: ...Let me do it! It will leave a deeper impression if I do it myself~

I say as I pick up another stethoscope. I notice Lucien raises an eyebrow and his eyes slightly curve.

Lucien: Not only do I have to be MC's teacher, but I also have to play the role of teaching aid?

MC: Talented people should take on more responsibilities, so I'll trouble you a bit~

As if accepting my words, Lucien obediently leans back on the chair, watching me with interest as I put on the stethoscope.

Just as I'm about to place the stethoscope against his chest, he suddenly extends his hand and I stop him.

MC: Please, Mr. Teaching Aid, stay still and don't move around.

Lucien: Don't misunderstand, I just want to minimize any factors that might affect your auscultation.

As Lucien speaks, he raises his hand under my gaze and meticulously unbuttons the topmost button.

The sound of the buttons coming undone is barely audible in the confined space.

Like a small electric current passing from my auditory nerves to my chest, my heartbeat accelerates uncontrollably.

In the faint and elusive light and shadow, his slender neck and collarbone gradually reveal themselves, following the movements of his fingertips and the downward opening of his collar.

The air in the cramped information room carries a sense of warmth and stuffiness, there seems to be a hint of humidity reflected in his eyes. His jet-black bangs stick moistly to his head.

In the silence, a bead of sweat drips down his jaw, landing silently in the shallow valley that rises and falls with his breath, only to be absorbed by the damp fabric.

I exhale.

The electric currents entwined around my heart suddenly transform into a hidden flame. I can almost hear my breath slowing down as I tighten my grip on the stethoscope head.

Lucien, as if completely unaware, raises his hand and casually winds the work badge around his wrist, tightening it leisurely.

His cold white lab coat is disheveled, and the tie that was neatly adjusted when he left is now loosely hanging around his neck.

Yet, he calmly gazes at me, his tone still carrying a meticulousness that makes one want to break through.

Lucien: As you can see, I can't move freely right now.

Lucien: So, would you say I'm cooperative enough like this?

MC: ...It’s enough!!

As if trying to conceal my increasingly rapid heartbeat, I press the stethoscope against his chest, moving it along the gently rising and falling chest.

Immediately, I hear the low and rhythmic sound filling my ears.

Lucien's voice sounds timely.

Lucien: Did you hear anything?

I purse my lips without showing any emotion, trying my best to maintain a calm tone.

MC: Y-your heartbeat seems to be very fast... 81 beats per minute, is that a normal rate?

Lucien: Don't worry. Under the influence of special factors, a resting heart rate can approach around 100 beats per minute.

Lucien: (with his voice noticeably a bit hoarse and low in the end) The load brought on by exercise, changes in temperature, and the control of the autonomic nervous system... all of these can have an impact on the heart rate.

I seem to sense something and meet Lucien's gaze. His eyes look deep, as if a bit darker than usual.

But I feel like I've been scorched by flames, and my gaze involuntarily flickers. My instinct whispers softly in my ear, telling me that the person in front of me is not as calm as he appears to be.

Even though I don't feel thirsty, my throat involuntarily moves. I grip the stethoscope head, which has warmed up with his body temperature, and continue to slowly lower it.

MC: But we haven't left the data room since a while ago, so we can probably rule out the first two factors.

Lucien: Hm, a very keen deduction. What else?

I can hear the vigorous and rhythmic beats in my ears, almost in sync with the rhythm of my heart beating in my chest.

Lucien's lips curve up with a hint of praise, and his voice still carries a trace of unruffled calmness.

I casually take off the stethoscope. My knees press against the surface of the chair between his legs and move closer to him.

(...she gets on the chair👀)

Our breaths intertwine, and I can almost see my own reflection in his eyes.

MC: Your pupils have dilated a bit, and the color of your eyes has deepened.

MC: From the physiological knowledge I know, there could be many possible reasons…

MC: But considering the earlier deduction and the current situation, it seems like there's only one conclusion.

Lucien seems to let out a very soft laugh, and his hands bound by the lanyard move slightly.

Lucien: Speak out.

My fingertips slide into the tightening gap of the lanyard, pressing against his increasingly warm wrist.

MC: Are you... trying to restrain yourself right now?

MC: Or should I say, you really want to do something right now?

The wrist that I'm touching moves, and the strong pulsations under my fingertips seem to be telling me the answer in advance.

A dangerous curve forms at the corner of Lucien's mouth, and his eyes look at me from bottom to top.

Lucien: (whispers hoarsely) If I say yes, what measures do you plan to take?

My fingertips skillfully hook and release the rope binding his wrist.

The sound of the work badge hitting the ground resonates. Amidst Lucien's sudden proximity and his intense gaze, I softly laugh and speak.

MC: This is my answer.

[Part 4-Intertwined Memory]

(T/N: I KNOW y’all want to jump into the fun part but please read this part first so the next part will make more sense-)

=Flashback From Last Night=

The darkness spreads across the skyline of a foreign land, and distant lights begin to twinkle one by one.

The gauze curtain flutters, and it seems like footsteps can be heard on the balcony outside, but it quickly falls back into silence.

I turn my head slightly, only to find that Lucien has quietly brushed aside the gauze curtain and is leaning against the door, looking at me in silence.

In the flowing tranquility, ambiguity grows quietly like creeping vines. I tuck the strands of hair lifted by the night breeze behind my ear and gaze back into his eyes.

MC: At this hour... Professor Lucien, are you planning to submit an application to terminate the experiment early?

Lucien smiles and shakes his head.

Lucien: (chuckles) I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint Miss Professor.

Lucien: I just thought that there are some special circumstances in the experiment, and perhaps we need to discuss them.

I raise an eyebrow and teasingly ask for more details.

MC: Is that so? How come I feel like you deliberately found an excuse to see me?

MC: If you change the experiment process without permission, be careful, I'll consider that as cheating.

Lucien's lips curl up with a hint of slyness, and he takes a step forward.

The warm airflow brushes against his bangs, revealing those deep eyes as dark as the night.

Lucien: It's just a step-by-step progression, from hearing your voice to seeing you in person. Next, MC can continue upgrading from the current level.

Lucien: Or... are the variables you prepared ending here?

Under his smiling gaze, I choke for a moment but casually speak as if nothing happened.

MC: ...Hmph, of course not.

MC: Then do tell me, what are the circumstances you want to discuss with me?

Lucien nods and speaks seriously.

Lucien: In actual scientific research, there are several possibilities that may lead to the experiment being terminated prematurely, aside from the participants voluntarily withdrawing their applications.

MC: Hmm, I haven't heard you mention this before... For example?

Lucien: Insufficient rigor in the process, lack of experimental funding, missing key personnel... Of course, our experiment won't involve such complex factors.

Lucien: Excluding all of the above, there is only one situation that needs to be avoided.

A hint of nervousness mixed with curiosity arises. I blink my eyes and instinctively ask for further clarification.

MC: What is it?

Lucien: The experiment leader voluntarily announces giving up.

There seems to be a hint of implication in his low voice. I pause for a moment and then nod with understanding, shaking my index finger slightly.

MC: Professor Lucien is worrying too much~ In this self-control experiment, there won't be such a possibility occurring.

Lucien chuckles softly.

Lucien: At the beginning of any experiment, the experiment leader is filled with enthusiasm and belief. However, as it progresses, their mindset can unconsciously change.

Lucien: So I believe there's no need to rush to a conclusion... After all, you just said it yourself, that you really wanted to see me, right?

As he speaks, Lucien's body quietly draws closer. The night breeze is gentle, making the end of my hair caressing his face, as if there are some hidden thoughts entwined between us.

Even though we are still leaning on the railings of our respective rooms, I can't help but feel like he can hear the drumming heartbeat in my chest.

Lucien: I do have something I haven't told you yet.

Lucien: Not just today, but every night since we parted... (whispers softly) I've been missing you.

My heartbeat suddenly quickens. Under his focused gaze, I try to distract myself by pinching my palm, attempting to appear nonchalant as I avert my gaze.

MC: Hearing this before going to bed, I think I can have sweet dreams tonight.

MC: But if you want me to give up, you'll have to try a little harder~ Good Night, Professor Lucien.

Lucien gazes at me intently for a moment, then sighs lightly and straightens his body.

Lucien: (chuckle) …Good night, MC.

I nod and return to the room under Lucien's gaze. Calmly, I close the gauze curtain, then place my hand on my chest. My heartbeat is so fast that it feels like it could take flight.

I let out a sigh, half delighted and half annoyed, and bury my heated ears in the blanket.

What sweet dreams... Tonight, I probably won't be able to sleep.

[NOTE THAT, in this flashback Lucien is giving MC two choices that’ll available for her through the experiment, for MC to keep increasing the variables; or to stop the experiment by announcing that she's giving up with the experiment. And as you can see from part 3, MC still hasn't announced her surrender, only making it harder for Lucien to control himself by taking off the work badge. Since she hasn't announced her surrender, as far as both of them know the experiment still goes on, Lucien still needs to control himself, and she will increase the variable in the next part.]

[Part 5]

The air in the afternoon seems to be frozen in the silent gaze, with only the heat slowly spreading between us.

The heartbeat beneath my fingertips, the breath brushing against my face... everything about the person in front of me is telling me that he shares the same desires as I do.

I let out a sigh and dazedly gaze into Lucien's dark eyes. Suddenly, I feel a little regretful.

If we don't start this experiment, we would have more time to enjoy.

However, he's so smart that even if I don't say anything, he should have sensed my silent surrender, right? ...Then why doesn’t he 'respond' to me quickly?

I whispered in my heart, my high heels fell to the ground somewhere along the line and tangled with the pile of work badge.

Lucien: MC….

Lucien didn't speak, he just softly murmured my name.

The hand gripping my waist is caressing and tightening, as if wanting to embed me in an embrace, yet also trying to stop my movements.

The voice by my ear is as low as a sigh, brushing against my crumbling rationality. I clutch onto his clothes and bite my lips in frustration.

[Note: to avoid CN censorship- the narrative doesn't describe her actions and focuses more on her thoughts as she increases the variables and makes advances, remember that from the previous part (Part 4) Lucien is sitting on a chair, and MC also get on it- Now his breath is brushing against her face, so they're now looking face-to-face, the high heels fell to the ground somewhere along the line, so she's been on his lap for quite… some time now. She's a bit frustrated that Lucien hasn't 'responded' to her 'movements' on his lap. To put it bluntly, she’s ‘riding’ him right now.]

At this moment, Lucien's phone suddenly rings with a notification sound.

A sudden clarity flashes through my hazy mind, and I instinctively turn my head to see "The Seminar Group invites you to join the voice conference" flashing on the screen.

MC: ….

As my drowsy rationality returns, I become aware of the burning sensation in my ears. Worried about what urgent work might be, I force myself* to lean forward and take the phone from the table, handing it to him.

(T/N: 强撑 means to force oneself to do something despite struggles or difficulties, and of course, she's struggling to lean forward and take the phone because she is 'stuck' on his d-)

Lucien takes the phone with one hand, but the hand holding my waist doesn't let go. He softly shushes and casually taps on the screen.

The noisy voices suddenly come through the receiver, breaking the cramped silence.

Scholar A: ...I insist we need more evidence for this experiment.

Scholar B: It would be a waste of time..... Why do you keep quiet, Dr. Lucien?

Lucien: Keep going. I'm listening.

Despite saying so, his eyes are still stained by the tide and remain fixed on my face, as if he has no intention of letting me go.

I shake his unmoving arm, feeling slightly stifled by the situation.

Just a moment ago, he was acting all calm and unmoved, and now he's pulling and teasing me like this….

I lower my head with a hint of resentment, following the force on my waist as I go down and vent my frustration by biting him on the shoulder.

I hear a restrained gasp near my ear as I take his phone a little further away and quickly lean in to whisper in Lucien's ear.

MC: Since you have important matters to attend to, I'll take my leave.

MC: ...Once again, I have to let work occupy you first.

Amid our conversation, footsteps echo in the hallway, getting closer and mingling with the intense discussion that sounds just like the one on the phone.

The scholars who haven't hung up the call seem to have arrived outside the reference room. I swiftly place the phone back into Lucien's hand and get down to pick up my high heels from the ground.

It seems like leaving now is not an option; at least, I have to tidy up our appearances before they come closer….

The next second, my waist is tightly embraced, and I fall back into the embrace behind me again.

Lucien: I've been cooperating with MC's experiment... (whispers hoarsely) but is this as far as the variable changes go? Won't they continue any further?

His tone carries a casual yet dangerous smile. And as if responding to my previous retaliation, his scorching breath slowly trails up my shoulder.

This man is really…!

I lightly hum and give his shoulder a push.

MC: Let's talk about that later. Let me clean up first.

Lucien: No matter the reason, giving up halfway is not a good habit.

The sound of the door opening suddenly echoes, and the noise and footsteps from the corridor rush in. Separated by a dozen rows of bookshelves, I can almost see those approaching figures.

The restraint on my lower back shows no sign of loosening. I open my eyes slightly wider, and my tone finally becomes faster.

MC: Don't bully me, we won't make it in time…!

Lucien: (whispers teasingly) Really? But MC was obviously very bold when she taught me just now.

Lucien: Bold enough... to make me want to watch a bit longer, to see how far your experiment will progress.

As the words are spoken, the dark colors in my vision suddenly turn into a golden-red illuminated by sunlight. The footsteps that were close just a moment ago also disappear all of a sudden.

I snap back to reality and realize that the surroundings have turned into the rooftop at some point. I'm momentarily stunned and then realize that he has used Evol to take me away from the reference room.

The lush foliage reflects on Lucien's figure, and his eyes also flicker with changing light and shadow. His voice carries an unabashed smile.

Lucien: I thought you knew I wouldn't let anyone else see what you just did.

MC: (blushing) ...You, you did it on purpose!

Saying this, my tense shoulders finally relax a bit. I take a deep breath and suddenly remember something.

MC: They must have something to discuss with you, right? Will leaving like this affect their work?

Lucien: Don't worry. The final stage is just a continuation of the discussion, and there won't be any new issues to address.

Lucien: Compared to that, what's happening right now is even more important.

I blink my eyes and hesitantly open my mouth to speak.

MC: What you mentioned, could it be the experiment between us that hasn't yielded any results yet?

Lucien gazes at me without confirming or denying anything, moving closer in my direction. Without getting an answer, a kiss descends upon me without any hesitation.

It's as if the long-restrained emotions have finally found an outlet, his scorching lips moving passionately and entwining, and almost stealing all my breath away.

I have no choice but to part my lips, and the next second, Lucien takes advantage and delves even deeper, as if wanting to entangle and capture my tongue.

I find myself clinging to his neck, lifting my head as if surrendering to a hunter, feebly responding to this kiss.

Until I finally find a moment to catch my breath, I tilt my head away, struggling to open my mouth as if trying to gain more breathing space.

MC: Wait... this isn't scientific-

The embrace around my body seems to tremble. Lucien lifts his head, as if seeing through my intentions, his eyes filled with surprises and tinged with a sense of provocation. He shows me a rogue smile.

Lucien: ...Do we still need to discuss that experiment at this moment? Then let's continue.

Despite his words, he entangles me with a tidal-like kiss, voraciously devouring my words.

It seems like a layer of mist has clouded my vision, but I can't ignore the stirring of his fingers, so I can only beg softly for mercy.

MC: (blushing) I-I didn't mean to discuss…

Lucien: (whispers hoarsely) I told you before, giving up halfway is not a good habit, Miss Professor.

Lucien: So, make sure you let me hear it all, your judgments and conclusions…

With his words, his fingers press in as if punishing. I moan and my fingers clutching onto his solid back begin to tremble.

MC: (still blushing)....I-I remember that in the experiment, the variables need to progress continuously... to see more significant results.

MC: I-I haven't done anything now... w-why... why is it more... than when I just gave you "physical contact" earlier, I seem to be-

Lucien: Getting a stronger reaction?

Lucien takes over my words, and there seems to be a hint of amusement in his unsatisfied tone.

His deep breath comes close to my ear, and his fingertips teasingly dance around, then suddenly press in again.

Lucien: (whispers hoarsely) Because this Miss Professor hasn't considered the most core variable yet.

It’s as if fireworks are blooming in my depth, my heartbeat echoes with a humming sound. I pant a little, feeling a bit dazed, and open my mouth.

MC: ...And what is that?

A kiss that seems both like a reward and comfort lands gently on my lips.

Lucien: (exhales lightly and then whispers huskily) Your influence.

The flickering lights reflect in his glistening eyes as if trying to peer into my soul.

Lucien: "Lovers are like mirrors, reflecting their desires for each other."

Lucien: Every bit of my desire is tied with you.

Lucien: When you wish to explore the limits of my self-control, I'll be equally eager to satisfy your curiosity…

Lucien: Just like how I long to explore everything about you.

Lucien: But when you personally unlock this restraint named "self-control", naturally, I'll have even more desires.

His face looms larger in my field of vision. I tremble involuntarily, feeling his touch once again, accompanied by ambiguous whispers.

Lucien: (whispers lowly and hoarsely) ...Compared to seeking the result that we both unanimously don't care about... Right now, I'd rather immerse myself in every moment spent with you.

The kiss between our lips gradually deepens, and I involuntarily close my eyes. I feel like floating into the high clouds and falling into a soft marsh.

Every little gap in my consciousness is deeply imprinted with Lucien's traces.

In the hazy sunlight, it's as if I can hear his unfinished whisper.

Lucien: For example, in the present kiss.

[Lux's Ramble Corner]

For once I can actually see why it gets past the censor HAHA. Compared to the UR that's more explicit, PG is very careful with the kiss SP, using vague wording that can be interpreted innocently if you don't know the context😂 although you can also interpret MC's 'increasing variable' in the reference room as simply touching, or grinding against him; I think she was really moving up and down to f- him because her appearance also a mess and his finger slid very easily inside her until she reached the climax (the 'fireworks') in the rooftop garden ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

ALSO it’s mentioned that MC wears a long dress before she went into the reference room, see the how in the CG it gets rolled up lol. The angle of the CG is smart asf bc it hides their front appearance. 

ANYWAY H-WORD ASIDE, this date is really good. I enjoy their dynamic as 'opponent' and their battle of wits. Although you can say that Lucien is 'winning', at the same time he said it himself that his desire is under MC's control and influence. If MC wants to continue the experiments he's more than happy to oblige (and surprisingly he has a *really* good self-control), but since she's kind of already given up then it's just natural that he also let go of his restraint. The choice ultimately will always be in her hand.

In the MQ there's a conflict between satisfying MC's (and his) curiosity and satisfying their longing for each other. It's evident from the way Lucien immediately books the earliest flight home and MC literally takes a flight to Granada just to meet him. The experiment started smoothly, but they clearly grew to miss each other again too, and they began caring less and less about the experiment.

Although Lucien can also stop the experiment, he still wants her to be the one to put it to a stop. Because, again, her desire is his, if she wants to explore him more deeply, he will oblige. But, still, since he also misses her, he also entices her to stop the experiment, either by purposefully leaving the ID card so she will meet him in the reference room, or by tying himself up while stripping 😂.

'However, he's so clever that even if I don't speak, he should be able to see my silent surrender, right? ...Then why doesn't he 'respond' to me quickly?'

-

Really? But MC was very bold when she 'taught' me just now.

Bold enough…. to make me want to watch a bit longer, to see how far your experiment will progress.

As she increases the variables, she eventually silently surrenders, thinking that they could enjoy more time together if it wasn't because of the experiment. I think Lucien noticed this too, but at that point, he was also curious to see how far she could go.

"Lovers are like mirrors, reflecting their desires for each other."

Still, this curiosity doesn't last long because, in the end, his desire is tied to hers. The experiment doesn't matter anymore because she unconsciously desires more to spend every moment with him and for him to respond to her rather than to really test his self-control. And because of this he also let go of his self-control, showing a greater reaction even if she hasn't done anything because that's what she desires.

Also lastly, about the scratch marks and hickeys on his lower back....  the date clearly implies that they don’t immediately f-ck because of MC’s experiments. MC f-ing him with her on top won’t leave such marks too,  because to move in such a state, putting your hand here is not comfortable and that didn’t explain the hickeys (that also look older btw).  There’s no other explanation than they’re from the last time they fucked  before get separated- It must be rough and intense if they left marks that last for a month LOL. And with Lucien's tendencies to be more emotional when he parts with MC, it makes sense.

I think that’s all from me? Just my take on the plot lololol. Hope y’all enjoy this date as much as I do~

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Anna North at Vox:

The day after the presidential election, LaToya Bufford’s 16-year-old daughter got a text saying she had been “selected to pick cotton at the nearest plantation.” The text came from a number Bufford’s daughter didn’t recognize, but it addressed her by her full name. The teenager told her mom that some of her friends had gotten the message, too, but only those who, like her, are Black.

Bufford said her daughter didn’t have much visible reaction to the text. But Bufford herself was left frightened and on high alert. “I was just shocked and so angry,” Bufford, who lives in Sacramento, California, told me. “If this could happen to my 16-year-old child,” she said, “I’m just scared about what could also happen.” Bufford’s daughter was one of the middle school, high school, and college students in more than 20 states who received similar racist texts in the days following the election. The attacks have continued and broadened in the weeks since, with Latino and LGBTQ+ recipients getting messages threatening them with deportation or being sent to “reeducation camps,” according to the FBI. Some messages purported to be from “the Trump administration,” though the Trump campaign has said it had nothing to do with the messages. The FBI is still investigating the wave of harassment, leaving kids and families wondering who got their names and phone numbers and sent them terrifying, personalized messages.

Meanwhile, other children across the country encountered hate speech and harassment at school immediately following the election, from a racist note left in a Wyoming high school bathroom to a spate of anti-immigrant and other discriminatory incidents in a Vermont district. There’s not much comprehensive data yet on how many kids have been harassed in the wake of last month’s election, but experts and school officials say the incidents documented so far, like the texts Bufford’s daughter and others received, reflect a continuation of a disturbing pattern.

After the 2016 election, Donald Trump’s xenophobic rhetoric about immigrants and other groups made its way to high school, middle school, and even elementary school campuses, and children began shouting “build the wall” and threatening their classmates with deportation. News reports between 2016 and 2020 document more than 300 incidents of students or school staff using Trump’s words or name to harass children, according to a 2020 Washington Post analysis. I reported on hate crimes and harassment in 2016 and 2017. Schools, unfortunately, were a big part of the story, with swastikas and racist slogans defacing the places where children, one parent reminded me, are supposed to be safe. Kids, especially teenagers, don’t always open up to adults about how harassment makes them feel. But hate speech can cut deep, particularly when the target is a child whose brain and sense of self are still developing. Kids can experience physical symptoms like stomach pain and headaches; others can have panic attacks or insomnia.

Harassment can also deprive young people of their legal right to an education, making them too afraid to stay in class or even to come to school at all, said Erin Maguire, director of equity and inclusion for Vermont’s Essex Westford School District, which experienced a steep increase in harassment reports the week of the election. While complaints there have leveled off, some experts remain concerned about the impact a second Trump administration could have on kids across the country. Kids continued lobbing Trump-inspired insults at their peers throughout his first term, according to the Washington Post analysis. Schools can make a big difference in supporting students who have been targeted and creating environments free from discrimination, experts say. But they may face an uphill battle in an administration that’s already broadcast its opposition to equity and inclusion initiatives, as well as its intent to dismantle government education agencies that enforce civil rights. Now some parents are left preparing their children on their own for what they see as a new reality.

[...]

How to help kids who have been harassed

Families shouldn’t be on their own to protect kids from hate speech; political leaders have an important role to play, experts say. “Any message that public officials send can trickle down to children,” Aziz said. “The more public officials that denounce hateful things,” she said, “the more examples our children have to look up to.” Educators, too, “are looked to across communities to really offer a way forward,” said Liz King, senior program director for education equity at the Leadership Conference. “It is meaningfully important when they get up and say, ‘This is awful.’” School leaders can also counter hate speech and discrimination by using curricula that are inclusive of all students, King said. The Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights also offers resources for preventing and responding to discrimination in schools. Trump has pledged to eliminate that department, but the laws that protect kids’ right to an education aren’t changing, King said. “These laws are not going anywhere, and so each of us has a responsibility to ensure that this administration meaningfully protects all of us from discrimination and enforces our civil rights laws.”

Children across America, especially if they are Black, Latino, and/or LGBTQ+, are the most vulnerable to being victims of post-election bullying in the wake of Donald Trump’s return to office.

[sdr2lovemail]

Domestic life with Shinobu! (Female Reader)

Note: Wrote this for lesbian visibility week but only got around to posting it now...at least it's in time for pride month! I was totally about to make this angsty, but lesbians deserve peace! Also, fun fact: a ring on the thumb is often a symbol for sapphic women!

The beating summer sun is harsh and hot. Your hands ache as you swing a wooden sword. Counting to ten, readjusting your grip, repeating the reps, and continuing this pattern for hours even when your muscles begin to tense.

Breaking the serene atmosphere of the Butterfly Mansion courtyard is the sound of three rushing girls. The sound of their shoes clicking against the rock pathways breaks your concentration. Their cute voices calling your name have your attention.

Sumi, Kiyo, and Naho run up to you, a bottle of water, a towel, and a snack in each of their hands. You accept the items graciously, setting the wooden sword down to sip the water.

“[Name]! You looked so cool out there. The rehabilitation training is paying off!” Kiyo praised, the other two girls nodding along.

You quickly drink the water and scarf down the food. Smiling at the girls, you pick up the wooden sword. “Thank you, girls. The snack was delicious, but I must get back to training.”

Small hands grab your uniform, stopping you from walking. They pull you back from trying to reach the sword. “No! You can’t; it’s time for a break.” The girls hound you, struggling to keep you in place.

Smiling down at the girls, you try to free your uniform from their surprisingly firm grip. “Oh, don’t worry. I just took a break not too long ago.” Your soft words do nothing to stop their tugging.

With puppy-eyed expressions, Sumi, Kiyo, and Naho keep pulling. “But it was a direct request from Lady Shinobu!”

……

The aforementioned medic sit’s in her office, writing formulas and the status of her current patients. As she works, Shinobu can hear the sound of familiar footsteps. She closed her notebook with a smug smile and patiently waited for her visitor.

The door to her office slides opens with you on the other side. Shinobu claps her hands together, bringing them up to her face. “Aw, if it isn’t my diligent slayer.”

You walk up to Shinobu’s desk, standing over her with a slight glint in your eyes. Setting your hands on her desk, you lean close to her smiling face. “You sent the girls after me while I was training.” 

Shinobu’s face takes on a look of innocence. She knew you couldn’t resist when the girls looked at you with those cute puppy eyes. “I have no idea what you mean.” She gets up from her seat, bringing her hands to rest on your waist. Her fingers squeeze the plush skin there. “You’ve trained a lot today. Take a break.” Shinobu leans in to kiss your cheek like she’s trying to seduce you into staying.

You can feel yourself get a bit flustered at her sudden affections. “I have to train, Nobu. I need to get back to work as soon as possible.” 

Shinobu does not let up, her lips moving to kiss your jaw. “The other Hashira can take over in your absence. Besides, I already had Aoi start a bath for us. You wouldn’t want her work to go to waste.” She looks at you with teasing eyes, capitalizing on your love for the younger butterfly girls.

Her teasing and kissing had done the trick. She walks you to the bathhouse of the mansion. True to her words, a steaming bath was prepared. Incense line the room and fill the space with a soft lavender scent. Aoi had done a great job setting the room up. It was just as Shinobu requested it.

Shinobu makes quick work of taking her uniform off. She purposely gives you an eyeful of her curves. After folding her clothes into a neat pile, she turns to you. There’s a smirk on her delicate features. “Hm, you have too many clothes on, honey.”

Her nimble fingers work on the buttons of your top. Shinobu’s fingers are working slowly, teasing. Her face is so close to yours, yet not close enough. Once she’s finished, she slips the shirt off. She makes sure to drag her hands against your skin, her nails leaving light scratches. Shinobu leans in close, her lips just about to touch yours. You could feel her breath against your skin.

“Time for your pants.” She lets out a playful laugh as she pulls away. Your pants came off much faster than your top. Shinobu eagerly rushed you to the bath, helping you into the hot water. She gets in soon after you, letting out a sigh. “Doesn’t the water feel nice? It’s filled with plenty of healing minerals.” 

Smiling at her, you lean in close. “It feels amazing. This was very thoughtful of you.” Pulling into your body, you press a kiss onto her forehead. “I’ll admit, I’ve spent a lot of time training. It’s just,” You paused, thinking over your words. Since you entered the butterfly mansion: you spent every moment training. Unknowingly neglecting Shinobu and your health, running your body ragged. “I don’t want to feel weak.”

Shinobu’s smile falters, forming into a more concerned look. “Honey, you’re not weak. What happened was just an accident. It wasn’t your fault.” Her hand comes up to cup your cheek.

“But I’m a hashira! I’m not supposed to make such mistakes.” The mission you were on was supposed to be an easy one. However, one minor slip-up was enough to take you out of action. You felt embarrassed, ashamed. The whole incident left a heavy weight on your chest. “I…I could’ve died on that mission.”

Hearing these words, Shinobu could feel her anger bubble up and rise. Not at you, but more at the feeling of helplessness. This feeling of dread. The same way she felt when she heard the cries of those who lost their loved ones to demons. The same way she felt upon losing her sister.

As she shifts around, the water ripples. She brings you into a hug, her arms shaking almost unnoticeable. Her head rests in the crook of your neck. You could feel a single tear drip against your skin.

“Don’t say things like that.” Her words came out more like a demand, but there was still that shakiness. “You’re here now, and that’s what matters. We can talk more later. But for now, I want to enjoy this time with you.” Perhaps it was selfish of her, but she wished to forget the horrors of being a demon slayer. All she wanted was to be in this moment with you. Enjoy this illusion of domestic bliss before having to face the grim reality.

Leaning into her hold, you let out a soft sigh. For just a second, you truly felt at peace. “Alright, let's talk about something else. Hm, do you know what’s for dinner tonight?” Your tone was light, not wanting to break the serene air.

Shinobu smiled, a soft glint in her eyes. She shifts her position again so that she’s now leaning against you. “I may have pulled a few strings. It’s your favorite tonight!” There were no real strings pulled. Shinobu was a hashira, and she could have almost anything she wanted. She just liked the feeling of having to work for what she wanted; rather than just being served to her.

“Well, you’re spoiling me tonight, aren't you?” You laugh and press a small kiss on her cheek.

Leaning up and kissing you on the lips, Shinobu’s smile gets more teasing. “You’ve been so focused on training lately. I have a lot of love I need to catch up on.”

……

True to her word, Shinobu’s treatment was not finished. After the bath, she massaged your body. Her nimble fingers worked out any knots that were present. Once your body was thoroughly worked, she helped you get dressed in the finest pajamas she had to offer.

The two of you now reside in her quarters, sitting at the low table in the center of the room. Shinobu had brewed some tea. She fills two cups with the steaming liquid.

“This tea is said to reduce stress and relax the body. The ginger I added is full of antioxidants as well.” 

As she explains all the properties of the tea in front of you, there’s a smile on your face. One full of pure love and adoration. 

“I know you like your tea sweeter, but sugar would slow your healing process,” Shinobu explained as she sipped her tea. Glancing at you, she noticed that love-filled expression on your face. She leaned over to pinch your cheek. “Hey, are you even listening?”

You let out a sound of surprise as her pinch broke you out of your daydream. Giving her a sheepish smile, you hold her hand against your face. “Sorry, I wasn't. I was just thinking about something.” 

“Oh? And what could be more important than my medical knowledge?” She teased.

Looking at her, your eyes softened. You bring her hand to press a gentle kiss onto it. “Well, I was thinking,” You take a short breath, building up your courage. “When all of this is over, when there’s no more fighting or grief, I want to become your wife. We’ll settle down, maybe get a new estate. We could take the rest of the girls, living happily in peace. I love you; I want to spend the rest of our lives together.” 

Your sudden proclamation of love caught Shinobu off guard. Her eyes were wide, and on her cheeks was a faint blush. For a moment, she felt vulnerable. She pulls away from your touch. You could feel your heart sink at that moment. She moves with quick steps, retrieving a small box from her desk. You soon felt relieved as she took a seat in front of you.

“It seems you beat me to it.” Shinobu teased. She opened the box. In it was a simple silver band, a purple jewel encrusted in the middle, and a soft stripe of lilac going through the ring. “This isn’t a proposal, but more of a promise.”

She gently took your right hand, setting the ring on your thumb. “When we no longer have to fight, I’ll propose. When everything is over, you’ll become my wife and I’ll be yours.” Shinobu’s voice was that of a whisper as she held your hands.

Tears pricked the corner of your eyes. Leaning in, you brought Shinobu into a passionate kiss. One full of love and trust. Pulling back, you rest your forehead against hers, looking into her eyes. “I would want nothing more.”

[looniez]

What do you think Link and Zelda did togheter during the time betqeen botw and totk

I'VE THOUGHT VERY HARD ABOUT THIS

this wound up being on the longer side so i'm putting it all under the cut!

a few years have passed between BOTW and TOTK. they don't give us an exact amount of time, but based on context clues it's safe to assume that anywhere between 5-7 years have passed. personally, i think it's likely been 5 years. that's a considerable chunk of time.

i am very firmly in the camp that link and zelda, by the time TOTK rolls around, are a couple. either that, or they've at least vocalized their feelings for each other but have yet to label anything. the baseline is that they very obviously love each other.

post BOTW (but before the epilogue), i think that link brings zelda back to hateno immediately after freeing her. it's important to him that she has a safe place to recuperate and heal and knows that his home is the perfect place to take her.

he makes sure she eats and has plenty to drink. he makes sure she's doing okay. he offers her his bed (more like insists) and keeps a careful eye on her. zelda would feel guilty and maybe feel like she's intruding or being a burden, but link wouldn't hear it and would shut it down quickly.

link sleeps on the floor in the nook beneath the stairs for the first few nights because he wants her to have space and privacy. he usually winds up upstairs to wake her from bad dreams anyway. zelda doesn't sleep well (neither does he) and eventually, link starts sleeping either next to or at the foot of the bed to be close by if she needs him (he needs her just as much). sometimes, he holds her hand and sits with her until she falls back asleep. those nights, he keeps an eye on her. they get closer as the weeks go by and fall back into old patterns from 100 years ago. link remembers more.

when they set out to investigate the divine beasts, it feels so similar to their time traveling together from before. everything is different, but it's like nothing has changed in a way. after, they return to hateno. it's home for them both now without it needing to be verbally agreed upon.

she tells him that he's no longer obligated to follow her anymore and that he's free. zelda feels guilty. link tells her that he's not staying by her side out of an obligation, or because of some century-old duty. he wants to. he chooses her. he would follow her to the ends of the earth.

zelda builds the school. link stays by her side like glue. they fall into a routine, build a sense of normalcy, and live a life with each other as if they are each other's center of gravity.

eventually, they start sharing the bed. it was bound to happen sooner or later. link wound up beside her most nights anyway (this was zelda's exact reasoning. she insisted it was ridiculous for him to continue sleeping on the floor). they sleep much better beside each other.

they keep up the work of trying to rebuild hyrule. they stick by each other's sides through it all.

i really do think that at some point in between BOTW and TOTK, they wind up together. it just feels right to me. even before confirming it, i think that they both understand that their relationship isn't that of just friends, but they might still feel hesitant to cross that line for fear of ruining what they've so carefully built together. the mutual pining is UNREAL!

eventually, it comes out one way or another. they kiss.

when the gloom starts to appear around the kingdom and they head off to investigate under the castle, they are doing so the same way they do everything else: together.

[anemicjellyfish]

Rough draft of Chapter 1 of the Andrealphus being into Stolas fic!

Below the cut, of course. Not ready for AO3 yet, will probably post it there when I'm almost done with every part of the story. Title is ready, but it's a fun secret for when I'm really finished with it!

This was a bit more serious than I originally intended; I might attempt a comedic version when I'm done with this. I stayed up way too late so I'm going to bed immediately after posting.

Info: Word Count 1,489. Not beta read. Wrote most of it on my phone. Probably has typos and incomplete sentences because I promised I'd have it out by tonight.

I'll catch all the typos, incomplete sentences, and other problems sometime tomorrow, hopefully. Sorry about any that I missed.

The burden of formality weighed down the party's atmosphere, stifling the already warm room. What could have been a lively evening was instead another game of choreographed interactions between all of Hell's most elite.

This was a game Andrealphus knew well. It was easy enough to initiate and maintain conversation with others, even those above his station. He had a lifetime of preparation for this. Ever since his sister’s arranged marriage, the two had undergone constant instruction in navigating the social hierarchy of Goetic demons. Perfection was the expectation, and Andrealphus always exceeded. 

Still, the Marquis found it dreadfully mundane. After over a dozen well-wishes to pass on to his sister and her husband, Andrealphus struggled to keep his annoyance in check.

With Stella now married off to the seldom seen Prince of the Ars Goetia, their family was now better off than almost any other. The social status alone would be enough to fuel any of his ambitions to fruition. The financial assets were a welcome addition, as well.

Andrealphus’ attention was drawn back to the conversation he placed himself in. Whichever distant cousin this was had roped him into a long story about duty and self-image, as though Andrealphus needed any education on either subject.

“Andrealphus, really,” the black-beaked raven scolded, “it is unbecoming of your position to be absent in conversation to your equal.”

“Not at all,” Andrealphus insisted, “I was simply ruminating on the meaning of your words. It was… really a captivating–” 

Fanfare erupted from the string quartet nearby. The ornate doors of the ballroom opened, revealing Prince Stolas and his new bride.

Oh, thank Satan, Andrealphus thought, a sigh of relief escaping from his chest.

A small butler imp announced their entry before closing the doors, once again sealing the air in the room. With Aamon no longer interested in correcting the perceived slight against him, Andrealphus was free to slip into the crowd. He exchanged his empty wine glass for a new one, taking his time to analyze the depth of the flavor as he observed the change in the party’s atmosphere.

Dozens of demons gathered around Stolas, congratulating him and his beautiful wife on their marriage. Elegant, yet stiff in his posture, the Prince thanked each one in turn.

Conversations grew louder as guests drank and began to enjoy themselves. A marriage such as this was a rare occasion for the Ars Goetia; a Prince securing the means of producing an heir to the royal line was cause to celebrate.

Andrealphus sipped his wine and reminded himself that that was what it was all for. His own future was as secure as his sister’s ability to reproduce… and her ability to not let her marriage erupt in flames.

He sighed into his glass, crystalizing the condensation on the rim into delicate patterns of ice. Stella’s beauty may have won her the coveted spot as Stolas’ bride, but her personality could be her downfall. If she could maintain her composure around Stolas, even in private, she would enjoy all the luxuries that come with her new position. As would Andrealphus.

The party continued on long into the night. Stolas seemed almost relieved when Stella removed herself from his side to entertain a group of enthusiastic relatives. Stolas moved through the groups of demons that had formed until he was leaning against a window near the back of the ballroom. Andrealpus took the opportunity to greet the Prince alone. He would have preferred his first meeting with his now brother-in-law to be a bit more private, but circumstances couldn’t be helped.

“Prince Stolas,” Andrealphus bowed slightly and rose, “I congratulate you on your marriage to my sister. I am Andrealphus.”

“Thank you, Andrealphus,” Stolas replied, his expression neutral, but amicable. There was a perfect, practiced poise in Stolas’ mannerisms that Andrealphus recognized. It was exactly as their interaction was supposed to go.

“It is an honor to meet you in person.” Andrealphus continued. “I believe Stella will make a lovely wife for you, your highness.”

Stolas looked out the window, the night almost enveloping the grounds outside the palace. His breathing slowed as he stared a while longer into the darkness.

“Do you think we could drop some of the formalities, Andrealphus?”

“My… apologies?” Andrealphus sputtered in surprise, nearly letting the glass slip out of his hand.

Stolas turned back to him. His lower eyes grew wide and he set his own glass of wine down on the windowsill. “No, no! Mine, actually.” He wrung his hands together before dropping them to his sides. “I seem to have lost track of my surroundings for a moment.”

Andrealphus studied Stolas more closely. The Prince’s heart-shaped face had been pale most of the night, but was now tinted a light pink. Whether it was from the alcohol or embarrassment, Andrealphus wasn’t sure. Either way, he saw this as an opportunity to gain Stolas’ favor.

“Perhaps you could use some fresh air?” Andrealphus suggested. He motioned toward a set of glass doors leading to a balcony. Stolas nodded in response.

The night was warm, but a gentle breeze cooled the air. With the lights of the party now behind them, The Prince and the Marquis could now see the treetops tinted red by the moonlight. With the doors to the balcony now closed, the sounds of the party were more distant.

“I only meant,” Stolas continued, “that since we are now brothers by law, maybe some of the etiquette, some of the formal titles, could be set aside.” He sighed, covering his face with a hand. “I think today has worn me thin; I apologize for losing my composure.”

Andrealphus considered his options. There was a chance that he was being tested: that Stolas was feigning familiarity to gauge Andrealphus’ loyalty to his position. A very discreet power play, but without any initial rationale to back it up. Stolas should have no reason to suspect him of duplicity. 

As Stolas leaned on the railing overlooking the perfectly manicured gardens, Andrealphus didn’t see that type of cunning. 

“It’s understandable.” Andrealphus swirled his wine glass and stepped closer, leaning one elbow on the railing. “These parties, wonderful as they are, can be a bit… exhausting. Especially after a long day. And your day has been so much longer than mine, Stolas.”

Andrealphus didn’t have time to register any worry about foregoing Stolas’ title. Stolas relaxed instantly. With a wave of his hand, Stolas’ magic undulated before them. Several stars above them began to shine more brightly, first as pinpricks of light, then into glowing constellations. The sheer power of a Prince of the Ars Goetia brought Hell’s sky to life for a brief moment before it faded back to a dark red. 

“Today was written by the stars.” Stolas spoke without emotion. “This day, like every other, was prophesied before it ever began.”

Andrealphus stood in awe of the demon before him. Stolas had access to a cosmos of foretold events. The Marquis’ power paled in comparison.

Still, the new foundation between them was being formed tonight.

Andrealphus raised both arms, breathing out a breath of frost and snow. A fog covered the sky just above them; delicate snowflakes suspended themselves overhead, reflecting the lights of the party behind them. Nowhere near as bright or as powerful as the stars, but beautiful all the same.

“In case you ever read a prophecy you dislike,” Andrealphus joked.

Stolas’ expression softened.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, with a little hoot that could have been a laugh, “thank you.”

The party inside began to wind down. Some higher demons left early; lower members soon followed suit. The remainder of the guests were mostly close family to both Stolas and Stella.

“I believe I must make a final appearance before the end of the night.”

Andrealphus hummed. “Yes, social obligation and all. Not to mention, you still have your… well, the remainder of your wedding night to look forward to.”

Stolas’ shoulders shifted slightly downward, hardly noticeable in the dim light of the half moon.

“Yes,” Stolas’ voice was barely a whisper, “there is that.”

Andrealphus walked to the glass door, but paused when he grasped the handle. He wasn’t entirely certain on what he was seeing and hearing from Stolas. Saying anything could result in terrible, damning consequences. The Prince that had read the stars waited just behind him. He could open the door and return to the party immediately.

Or he could risk everything.

“Stolas,” Andrealphus hesitated, removing his hand from the doorknob, “if, for any reason, you desire my company after spending time with Stella, perhaps we could meet again?”

Stolas raised an eyebrow, eyeing Andrealphus with confusion, but not suspicion.

“Perhaps, I… could invite you over for tea sometime?”

Stolas blinked in surprise. He clasped his hands in front of himself. “I believe I would like that.” 

Oh, thank fucking Satan, Andrealphus breathed a sigh of relief.

[actual-changeling]

no, yes I understand that. i understand that crowley does not want to be an angel again. everyone understands that crowley does not want to be an angel again. saying that crowley never fully expressed this to aziraphale except in general anger at the system and The Way Things Are is not a diss on crowley. just from what we’ve seen, he didn’t. it’s just an unfortunate thing that happened when aziraphale and crowley’s respective mindsets and traumas clashed. the show isn’t calling out aziraphale and saying “look at this toxic person. he is the problem.” it’s calling out an abusive system and how it fucks up people in different ways and how those people try and, sometimes fail, cope with it.

First of, no one is "pointing" at Aziraphale and saying he is the problem, at least I am not.

Discussing a character's flaws, mistakes, and hurtful actions is not pointing, it's called having a nuanced discussion; just because I don't try and excuse all of his bullshit with "but he loves Crowley :(" doesn't mean I hate him. And no, not everyone understands that Crowley does not want to return to heaven, I have seen many, many posts DIRECTLY saying that he does.

Is it an abusive system? Yes.

Does that mean Aziraphale gets a free pass to hurt Crowley and not work on himself? No. No it very much does not. It's not fucking unfortunate, it's a lack of respect for the person he claims to love.

BECAUSE it is an abusive system he needs to work harder to unlearn all the shit they push into people's heads. Crowley has done so. Gabriel and Beelzebub have done so. Several demons and angels have done so. Aziraphale has not—and that is his responsibility and his failure, not anyone else's, and not something that can be written off as "but he's having a hard time :((".

Yeah, so is everyone else, and you don't see Crowley being that cruel and hurtful.

Aziraphale refusing to listen to Crowley is not on Crowley for "miscommunicating", it's on Aziraphale for NOT LISTENING. The show is calling out people being lazy and prioritising their personal comfort over everything else, just like Aziraphale is doing. It's calling out individuals continuing abusive, unhealthy patterns because they're "afraid" of change.

Failing to cope means you stay the fuck away from people until you can cope. Mental illness and trauma do not give you a free pass to not work on yourself jesus fucking christ.

[beesmygod]

i only read tumblr once a day because i [try] to stay sane so only just caught up with the art discourse, which I do have some bits n shit I want to add: a bit fasile for one but, dont you as an artist have upkeep and resource needs to produce? even if its just like...computer, tablet and necessities to continue existence because art takes time to make, those are real, and cost money. "art" in an absolute sense can be made for free with minimal time through just thinking, but like, a webcomic that is a physical thing made of electronic patterns and hosted on a server, takes time and takes stuff. "Webcomics" isnt a free infinitely repeating resource, and you are more than a machine to create webcomic, and none of us are infinite as a resource! at worst, art hits public domain eventually. that said even from that place of survival in capitalistic society it DOES make sense to at least have free public facing art as PROMOTION even if its just idk downtime sketches, doodles, memes, fanart etc so like im not 100% disagreeing yknow, and I am not and artists cant be a paying consumer my/their own art, art has to exist for the self too, the self that isnt a "paying class", or i just start making marvel movies and then its time to find my cool wet hole in the dirt and express my creative individuality like im a mathmatician of statistical analysis of fluid dynamics.

now that im awake i was going to answer these point by point, but this kind of flies past my point that making art exclusively for those who pay is abysmal and treating your audience like they're thieves is a poisonous and off-putting response to one's perceived "loss of income" (which is not even theft because the item being "stolen" can be reproduced infinitely. im talking about like a digital image like a comic page and not a physical item where there's limited copies lol). people either want to pay you or they dont; you can't force people to pay you by making access to your work harder, worse, more inconvenient, and more degrading to your audience. you can't induce artificial scarcity and be a good person.

like yeah obviously art production takes money. that's why most artists work desk jobs instead of trying to make it a solo venture and just expecting the world around them to pick up their slack. i didn't come out of a lotus blossom with a tablet ready to go, i worked desk jobs from age 15-24 in order to have enough savings to cushion myself if need be and pay for base supplies. i use tablets and items gifted/sold to me at a steep discount by my friends. i lived really poor in order to have the life i wanted. and i really loved it lol. i still think of that time so fondly.

once the comic is produced and posted, it is free for my audience to look at and the reproduction costs of the finished image is 0 dollars. it can be copied and reposted freely without charge. it costs me basically nothing to host. the production costs are currently covered by patreon donations. if they were no longer covered by patreon donations i would get a desk job instead of making my choice to go into the financially unsuccessful field of the arts my audience's personal problem to solve. if i don't make things people want to buy, that's my problem and not my audience's.

yeah, it would suck to have to stop doing this because its no longer financially viable (it is really financially hard right now; the state of the world around us is not conductive to the patreon life), but i wasn't entitled to it anyway. i get to make art for a living bc i have an audience that permits me to. why would i start treating them like dogshit or lying about value of my work to squeeze extra money out of them after what they gifted me?

[thehetrophobe]

Go ahead and wave your pride flags while the enemies close in on us.

Go ahead and sing all about positivity while the enemies make more anti-gay bills.

Go ahead and think "not all straight people" while they call you slurs when you're away.

Go ahead and try on more clothes while the enemies work fruitfully to ensure your death.

This post is directly for the queers that defend straight people.

It only takes ONE mistake, one slip-up and the Defaults will show you who they truly are. Talk back at them, stand up to them, act out of line. When they want to hurt you, it's your queerness they'll attack.

Not your fat ass or massive forehead or stupidity or whatever it is that makes you human. It's that gay side in you the Defaults will come after.

Take a look at what's happening in Ghana.

Defaults are using the cover of family to attack you. Does this mean gay kids aren't part of the family? Does this mean gay parents can't have a family? No, they're simply trying to tell you that DEFAULTS ARE THE ONLY ONES CAPABLE OF HAVING A FAMILY.

A Default grows up surrounded by his kind. Because of this, his mind is small, narrowed, typical. He expects everything to continue to remain the way he sees it.

Man marries woman, woman gets pregnant, she gives birth, happy family.

So what happens the second he sees anything different from this pattern?

I think you know the answer.

There's a switch in Defaults that flip over when they see something that doesn't imitate them. It comes with them right from birth and it stays. Some of them, a few, have succeeded in depressing it, but it never truly goes away. Many of us queers have been at their mercy.

You don't know how fucking strange homophobia is.

These Defaults are telling you to your face that YOU SHOULD NOT EXIST. They are destroying movies and books and games that hold any queer elements. They are throwing people like you off roofs. They are disowning kids that show the slightest hint of being gay. They are fucking killing us.

Yet all we are doing is organizing pride parades. Laughing. Holding hands and singing Kumbaya. When will we realize that the Defaults will not rest untill every last one of us is gone? When is the time to take up arms?

Shall we wait untill they are at our doorstep before we recognise love will not solve anything? Shall we wait untill our bridges are filled with gay teens waiting to jump off? Shall we wait untill the streets are chocked with the bodies of disowned gay kids? Shall we wait untill even our own gay members start to kill other gay people?

WAKE THE FUCK UP!

If you want to dye your hair in peace, or wear those feminine/masculine clothes or skip on the sidewalk without fear of harassment, or hold hands and kiss in public, or go on dates without being afraid that some Default might stab you, PREPARE FOR WAR.

Look at history! Every single story, every single poem, every single thing is dedicated solely to them. They wiped out every queer story, they plucked out the gay characters. They hate you, they keep on saying this to your face, but you insist on giving them a hug.

Sooner or later, you will have to wake up. And when you do, I'll be here.

"Live free or die". ✊

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 2: Littoral 🏖️

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Littoral (adj.)

of or relating to the shore of a lake, sea, or ocean

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Good News, Sparklers: I’m still happy with this as my #Inktober approach so far! 🎉 (Hopefully that continues🤞)

This one definitely turned out more “general beach/ocean” than “shoreline,” but oh well! 🤷‍♀️

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk more about my thoughts/process for this piece (including part of why this word made the prompt-list cut)! ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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Well Sparklers, I seem to once again be writing this description (and therefore posting the art) later in the day than expected again today, but y'know I'm still early enough I don't feel such a rush to just get everything done, as was an extremely bad habit for me during Inktober last year...But we're only on Day 2 so it's still very possible I'll end up in that situation at some point later in the month. 😅

Either way, since we covered I think what was left of the background information for my how/whys for October this year yesterday, I think today I'm free to focus just on today's piece.

And I'll start with the admission that one of the primary reasons this word made the cut when I was putting together the prompt list is because I personally find it more amusing than I probably should that "Littoral" can very easily sound like "Literal" depending on your accent/pronunciation; And while I haven't figured one out, I just know there's a delightful pun or wordplay hiding somewhere in that association. 😆

Does that have anything to do with my choice of shapes for the mandala or colors for the background? Not consciously, no. But I mention it just in case someone for some reason finds the idea as funny as I do!

That said, this one is—at least I think—a lot strong on the specific images in the mandala that tie back to the theme than yesterday's. Granted, I probably leaned a little more heavily on general beachy/ocean themes than is really appropriate for a word that's really more about shorelines for multiple kinds of waterbodies...

In my defense, I started working on this one around 2-3 a.m. before I went to bed and was struggling to stay awake for the area between the inner circle of seashells and the round with the tail-fin shapes. What were supposed to look more like fish scales underneath those fin shapes came out looking a lot more like the edges of stacked sand dollars as a result. 😅

That might kinda be for the better though because I think if they did look more like scales, the tail fins might be a little too mermaid-y. Sand dollars probably fit a little better for a shoreline focus. Or, this way they kinda also make me think of like...ridged rocks that you might see either along lake edges, or as like the "drop off" point where the ocean shore "ends" and the deep sea more or less "begins," if that makes any sense.

I also tried something...I want to say "different" but we're only on Day 2, so that feels a bit odd. 😆 But it is something I don't usually do with mandalas when I make them. You'll notice that the round with the tail fins features only 2 additional sea shells, not 4, 6, or 8 as would be more typical for a mandala pattern, and on either side of that same round where you'd expect another pair of shells to be are instead some different wave shapes.

This was just a small experiment in what I'm going to do "non-traditional symmetry" (because "asymmetry" isn't quite right). So far I'm just using Procreate for these, and Procreate's built-in symmetry tools can only be pushed so far vs. an app made more specifically for mandalas, so I was trying to get a feel for where exactly my boundaries with Procreate's tools are. Obviously I didn't get too crazy with it because I was tired, but I did learn a few things and intend to carry them forward.

To that end, for what it's worth, I am considering trying a mandala-making-specific app, but I haven't pulled the trigger just yet. I thought I'd try a couple more with just Procreate and see if I still want to. I have a feeling even if I do try another app, I'll end up tracing over whatever results I get in there in Procreate anyway just to make sure all my Obscutober pieces are stylistically consistent. [That's a me thing, I don't expect anyone else to care about the style consistency even half as much as I personally do.]

I will also say the "splash" shapes that end everything off weren't really what I originally had in mind, but I'm not bothered about it because I think they came out great and give the effect that I wanted really well. 😄

Oh, and before I move on from the mandala part: If you look closer, you can also see I tried just a little bit of hatching on this one. I wanted to "fill in" some more of the mandala lines for visual interest, but I didn't like the solid-fill look in those areas when I tried it. It's still not quite what I wanted but I was too tired to be bothered re-doing it. I'm also not sure how much I'll use hatching (or other "traditional" inking techniques) for the rest of the month, though it is a tool I'll be keeping in my metaphorical back pocket just in case.

This may as well be a good time to mention that not necessarily every Obscutober piece will use white mandala lines; I don't want to overcomplicate my choices too much, but I am planning on allowing black lines as well, if they'll suit that day's themes better. So far we've just had two days in a row where I thought the white worked better. 😉

As for the background: This one is one of the things that motivated me to go with this particular format for this year. I didn't start working on this piece until after the decision(s) had already been made, but during those last couple of days of September when the mandala idea finally started to form, I was going back and forth over the words and landed on "Littoral" again; The idea of having a kind of "island" in the middle surrounded by "water" for the background popped into my brain—Nothing but shoreline all 360º around. 🤗

That wasn't the deciding factor alone, but it was definitely a strong nudge in that direction! This background was also a good "test" in that it pushed me to consider there might be days—like this one!—where it's tempting to color the background less abstractly and more tied to whatever is happening with the mandala lines. Somehow, I hadn't really considering that yet. From that, you can see I decided that some spot color is okay, but for consistency purposes, I am still going to keep it largely soft and abstract. Since I'm toying with the idea of making coloring pages out of the finished mandalas later anyway, if I really want to color right inside the lines, I can worry about that after Obscutober.

Besides, keeping it abstract will be faster anyway; I have a tendency to get way-too-perfectonist when coloring inside of digital lines. 🫠

The longer I think about it, the more there are things I might do a bit differently if I gave the mandala part another go. I am still happy with how this one turned out and think the background is really solid, it's just that usual "hindsight is 20/20" artist problem—Sometimes great ideas for a piece only come after it's already done and you really don't feel like going through the trouble if changing what you have!

Ah well. Maybe I'll have more ideas actually come to me in-the-moment if I can be bothered working on the future mandalas when I'm not falling asleep at my desk. 😆 It still beats being wide-awake because I'm rushing to get it done at all, but it's definitely not the ideal way to be! 😅

In any case, aside from delays in writing this description, I've been enjoying seeing a few people (mostly on Tumblr) decide to try out the Obscutober list for themselves, so the month is off to a pretty decent start as far as I'm concerned! I hope it is for you Sparklers too, or that if it isn't, that things get better soon! 🤞

I'll leave you Sparklers with that for today, and hopefully see you again in cheerful spirits tomorrow. Toodles! 👋

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See the Prompt List

Artwork  © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[defilerwyrm]

Thank you for posting so authentically and tbh poetically about your transition. I was wondering if you have any gems of wisdom to share about your total hysto.. I was born with a malformed uterus (it is bicornuate) I've always had problems from it and I just want it gone. How was the process? And healing? How has the removal affected you in the years after? I appreciate you bro.

Heya, first off, sorry for taking so long to reply, and thank you! It’s been really rewarding to get to share my experience with others, answer questions, and hopefully dispel some myths. Bottom surgeries for trans men & trans mascs are too often maligned or erased and I’m grateful for the opportunity to fight against that with facts and experience.

The process was kind of funny. The admission and all such were your typical surgery stuff. They kept me overnight in the hospital pumping me full of saline with two jolly nurses watching over me. More or less every hour I woke up needing to piss like a racehorse, and the nurses would gently make fun of my woozy attempts to get up in these marvelous Georgia accents while helping me do so and disconnecting me from the drip, and I’d shuffle off to pee like half a liter (like…literally). This pattern continued until I was able to pass a certain threshold of how much I peed at one time. The purpose of this was to make sure my bladder was working correctly. After that, they let me sleep a bit and then I was released.

Before the surgery I had asked my surgeon if I could see the parts she was taking out, so she took photos for me of my insides during surgery and the whole kit & caboodle after it was removed, and printed them out on nice glossy paper for me. I was frankly astounded by how tiny the uterus actually is. Diagrams make it look like it’s the size of both hands put together or something but it would have easily fit in the palm of one! Also my liver is kinda cute. I still want to frame those photos.

I went home and mostly slept in a recliner a lot for the first couple of weeks. I wore sweatpants and kept an ice buddy (a penguin full of rice my friends got me) on my belly much of the time. I am pretty good at staying ahead of the pain with my meds without taking it more frequently than is safe, so I was only really a little sore and very, very sleepy. Bathing was a matter of wet wipes and dry shampoo for a while. I think I was off work for somewhere between four and eight weeks, and once I was past the first two or so, I spent a lot of time still in the recliner with the ice buddy, but this time binge-watching Critical Role and playing Stardew Valley. My cats stayed as close to me as they could the whole time. I think 4 weeks after the fact I was more or less fine.

Shortly after my spay, I started having hot flashes: since mine was a total hysterectomy (they removed the uterus, both ovaries—which, sure enough, turned out to be absolutely riddled with cysts—and the cervix), my estrogen level went from low to fuck-all, so I basically went through Menopause Lite. The hot flashes weren’t miserable. They were just stretches of time when I looked around and went “Is it just me or is it hot in here all of a sudden? Is the A/C on?” and it was, in fact, just me. Those came and went for maybe 3 months.

(A note for cis women and for trans/nb guys who aren’t on T: I attribute the mildness of my menopause symptoms to the fact that PCOS and HRT were already suppressing my estrogen production. If you have “normal” estrogen levels, there is a non-zero chance that yours will be worse. Ask your doctor for more info about this. If you don’t have your ovaries removed, you won’t go through this in the first place.)

Obviously I am now forever free of the misery of menstruation and the unacceptable risk of becoming pregnant. Both of those things are extremely awesome and I love them forever. Being sterile fucking rules! I’ve wanted this since I was 6 years old and no one can ever take it away from me! \:D/

This last section is about peeing so it goes under a cut!

The one and only downside is that I need to pee, like, all the time. Granted, the fact that I drink about a gallon of water every day does have a lot to do with that. But I’ve found that the sensation of needing to piss urgently comes a lot sooner than it used to. On a normal day, with me sitting here guzzling sweet, unchlorinated, high-quality well water all the time, I have to hit the head every 1-2 hours. If I stop drinking liquids about an hour or two before a road trip I can make a 3-hour drive without needing a pit stop. I asked my mom and a friend, both of whom have also had hysterectomies, if they go through this too, and they confirmed that yeah they do need to pee a lot more frequently than before the surgery. Just, y’know, not as often as I do because they’re not drinking 3-5 L of water daily.

The upside to THAT, actually, is if I need to wake up early, I can just drink a glass of water before going to sleep and I am guaranteed an early wake-up. I am an extremely deep sleeper, much to my own detriment—except where my bladder is concerned.

An odd little thing I’ve found, since my uterus is no longer helping to control where my bladder sits in my torso, is that how I urinate is a little different. Before, it was just the normal muscle movements I’d been doing all my life. Now, I find that urine comes in “waves”: it starts out normal, but then—it’s hard to explain, but I use a slightly different sort of muscle movement, a Kegel type thing, to…it feels like repositioning my bladder a little(???), and then I can feel the rest of the urine pouring down to my ureter, and then it’s normal pissing again. I mean…I’m just guessing at what’s actually going on in there based on what I can feel happening, so I could be off, who knows. It’s a little strange, but it’s not at all painful or anything, it’s just a neutral thing.

I very strongly recommend starting Kegel exercises as soon as you can if you plan on getting a hysterectomy, if you’re not doing them already. These can go a long way to making sure you don’t have problems with incontinence afterward. They were a standard part of my daily life for quite a few years leading up to my spay and so far so good.

[skyfish7]

Writing Pattern Tag Game

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern. (Got tagged by my dear friend @29daffodils, thank you, this looks interesting! If you're interested in any of those fics, please click the title and it will guide you to the fic on AO3.) More Beautiful than the Moon [ How would you like to continue your romance storyline? A. Stay with Luo Binghe. B. Try to seduce Liu Qingge. This might or might not be reversible, so choose wisely…/ ] ship/fandom: Liu Qingge/Shen Yuan|Shen Qingqiu, The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (I'm already cheating in the first one but I think the first sentence only isn't enough to convey anything so please excuse XD)

------------------------------------ Safe With You Cold. Wet. Dark. The boy's eyes can't see through the blurriness, his ears can hear only muffled noises of struggling. ship/fandom: WinTeam, Between Us|Hemp Rope, canon-divergent (Technically three sentences, I know but words alone don't make much sense right?) -----------------------------------

Convince me Otherwise It's the first day at uni for Team and things are supposed to go well, but in fact, Team's morning has already been quite eventful. ship/fandom: WinTeam, Between Us|Hemp Rope, musician AU -----------------------------------

Come Home With Me It's one of those days, Win spends working from home. ship/fandom: WinTeam, Between U|Hemp Rope, post-canon -----------------------------------

With You through the Seasons It happens in early spring, in the middle of the day, in the middle of the road, in the middle of town without any prior warning – Xie Lian's car dies. ship/fandom: HuaLian, Heaven Official's Blessing, Modern AU ----------------------------------- We'll still be Us It was one of those nights when Megumi was lying wide awake, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom into the endless, merciless darkness. ship/fandom: GoFushi, Jujutsu Kaisen, Yakuza AU (OK those last four definitely followed a pattern and I don't really know what to think about that XD) -----------------------------------

Dragonfly “Hey, Akihiko,” Haruki starts when he can't stand the atmosphere anymore. ship/fandom: AkiHaru, Given ----------------------------------- My Boyfriend might suck at Games but he holds the High Score in my Heart Exam season sucks. ship/fandom: RitsuMafu, Given -----------------------------------

Waking up with You "Rise and shine, Sunshine, it's a beautiful day and we have plans today," Nao's whisper tickles Natsuya's ear as he bends down to wake his lover. ship/fandom: NatsuNao, Free! -----------------------------------

With You by my Side Once a year, sometime in April, without any fail, the former swim team of Iwatobi High makes an effort to meet up in their home town to catch up with each other and wallow in the nostalgia of their beginnings. ship/fandom: MakoHaru, ReiGisa, AsaKisu, HiyoIku, NatsuNao, SouRin, SeijuuGou, MomoAi, Free! ----------------------------------- So, do I see a pattern? A few of them start similarly, like the four that I pointed out. Then there are two starting with direct speech and a few starting with very short or only one-word sentences. Honestly, I don't really think too much about how to start a story because that's usually the easiest thing for me to do - to write the beginning. I just go with whatever pops up in my head when I start writing. I hope it's interesting enough to keep people reading but that's not for me to judge, so you tell me! :) Another thought that just crossed my mind is, why do most of my titles sound so lame? ;_; (It's truly one of the most difficult things when writing, if I don't know the title from the beginning, it's a struggle until the very end when I put the fic on AO3) Tagging some of my writer friends (no pressure to do this but I'd love to see it!) @tehalex3-blog, @radiodread, @berrynthewood and... I think my other writer friends aren't on here or I forgot their handles, sorry. Whoever comes across this and wants to play along, please feel free to do so!

[louisisalarrie]

Ooh, please tell me more about how Shiall today might relate to Larry? I’ve been keeping an eye on Niall, and I have so many thoughts, but I’m mostly just confused!

heya anon, and welcome to the show!

now, I want to start this off by saying I haven’t had much to do with the Shiall stuff, so I’m not an expert on it. But, here are a couple of my thoughts as to why this is an interesting turn of events, and what this means for larry.

so, it’s been pretty interesting seeing all the Shiall stuff online since the show happened. And well… I’ve seen a lot of larries/ziams also now start shipping Shiall, which is interesting, and while Shiall has never been as big as Larry or even Ziam, it blew up the fandom and even got headlines in the press. So… let’s have a deeper dive.

Now… people have believed in Shiall or at least entertained the idea of them together since at least 2017. It’s not a new thing whatsoever. But since the show of them performing together, it has become pretty huge. And there are a lot of solos reaaaaallllyyyy hating that, and it’s becoming a bit beefy between the niall girls and the shiall believers (which is yikes because can everyone just be nice to each other for a god damn second Jesus Christ) so it’s now dividing nialls otherwise pretty chill fandom. Which is new for him, and will be interesting to see how it’s handled. But so far in the press? It’s going well for him.

He’s gotten a write up in a few outlets which all have a similar headline of “Niall Horan Surprises Fans by Bringing Out Shawn Mendes at London Concert” (US Weekly). But, Rolling Stone really went all out here:

Now, I dunno about you… but adding “fellow lover boy” and “that’s my boy” to a headline 100% grabs attention and maybe implies a bit more than just pals. In my marketing and journalism experience/study, this would absolutely fall under seeding and somewhat subconsciously sways the reader into further curiosity about Niall and Shawn’s relationship.

What’s funny about this, is 1 week prior to the show, Elle posted this article out of quite literally nowhere. Shawn and Camila haven’t been spotted together since (to my knowledge) April of 2023 when they were photographed kissing at Coachella. So… why was this dropped a week prior?

Anyway, Niall is still signed to Modest mgmt, who we’ve watched control narratives and PR ops for the last 13 years. So, it’s safe to say we can see a bit of a pattern here, but it feels different this time too… right?

Niall’s mgmt would 110% know about the Shiall rumours. They’ve been around for over 6 years, and have continued to grow in popularity over the past couple of years particularly. It’s very obviously a topic that the fandom talk about, and that a lot believe in. So, to allow niall to bring on stage someone who his fans believe he’s actually dating as opposed to his “gf” who was also in the crowd that night (not that literally anyone cared lol) feels very freeing. Do modest and Niall not care about the rumours? Is it actually true and he managed to convince his team to let him do it in exchange of staying with his gf for longer? Or is it something entirely different?

Well… it’s a tricky one.

Modest have been well known to closet artists for years. We’ve seen it with larry, and other young men too. So, why the change of heart? Essentially encouraging rumours by giving this the go ahead, and rolling stone weirdly quickly posting that article with those particular words in the headline, why now?

It’s good PR, sure. It’s beneficial for Shawn to get back into the headlines more after not performing for 12 months, and gives nialls tour a bit of a boost. But i would argue that it’s encouraging Shiall. And I would also argue that modest have actively tried to squash gay rumours for years with larry (we will talk about the Union J shit show another time and just stick with larry for this) so it’s interesting that they’re encouraging it. But it’s been a pretty nice little test drive for larry, hasnt it?

In no way has Shiall divided the fandom to the same point as Larry, but the love we all saw for shiall (whether we believed in them being romantically linked or not, it was incredibly wholesome) from around the fandom was very loud. I saw a hell of a lot more positive chats than negative (and I looked deeper than just my timeline) and so it was pretty safe to say that it went well for the most part.

People are saying that niall might have done it behind his team’s back because Shawn was placed in Paris hours earlier, but that’s just a reminder of something we already know that we can’t trust photos to be released on the same day at the same time they are taken, but I think he’d get in a hell of a lot of trouble for that. So I’m not on board with that idea.

So I guess to put it down to a couple of options to sum this up:

a) modest has flipped the script and is okay with Shiall because they’re actually not dating (unlike how they handled larry because they were) and it’s all just rumours and niall and his gf aren’t bothered from it so it’s fine because it’s some good publicity

b) niall and Shawn actually are dating and his team is seeding a coming out, testing the waters with the fandom, perhaps try to encourage larry to sign with them again due to how “free thinking” they are now

c) nialls contract allows him to have more control over different aspects of his career so he was able to just invite him up there no matter what narrative is being pushed in his personal life

So… what’s this mean for larry and why have I rambled on for 3-5 business days?

Well…

Niall is dealing with the same rumours with Shawn as H and L do with each other. He is actively showing the fans that believing in a relationship between two dudes in fact doesn’t ruin their lives and families and their girlfriends are crying all the time, and he’s also showing other mgmt teams that you can do this shit without the world falling to pieces (aka the V*nes and Az*ff losers) whether or not it’s true. It’s a very small step in the right direction, but it’s a really good one. So I think yeah it’s important to see what this means for Larry and their next steps, because niall has made it look pretty simple. But I think we should keep watching this all very closely.

[mcalhenwrites]

Close enough to 2024 to ramble about this year and the coming one. I have goals.

Writing goals are first and foremost. Those will be the main focus of the year. It's my life and my career after all. If I couldn't find time for writing, I really wouldn't care about the rest. I love writing too much to want to do anything else more than that. XD - Publish Geckos, Automata. If it sells, that'd be great. I'm beginning to think it won't. Publishing it anyway, never shutting up about it, gonna keep spamming it until my followers either interact or just leave. - Tweaking the ending of That's... Not a Cat. Polishing cover. Putting it out there as an ebook. - Rewriting Stargazers' Hill. The thing I said I wouldn't do, but I have ideas on how to fix it, and I badly want to stay with those stupid characters even longer. (I get way too attached. My worst traits as an author, maybe? Don't care, I do what I want. :P ) I can't predict the rest because I don't trust my muses, but I suppose I'm going to work on a bunch of other things, from dragon universe stories to other things I've started. New stories are springing up, and I need to water them~ Really excited about developing Hervey/Algernon, but I think that one needs to steep a bit. :) I'm going to also at least finish one crocheted dragon. Probably Willow. Or Tessa's human form. Will post with writing so you can't have crochet without my writing content attached, bc honestly fuck all the pain crochet brings me. :) (Though I do want to finish my KHUX stained glass blanket, which I probably won't post when I'm done, bc I don't post my non-writing-related crochet 99% of the time. I just tell people I don't crochet so they stop asking for free patterns/gifts/tutorials/etc. So yeah. Don't crochet around here, fuck that shit.) Anyway. :) Money isn't great, so I probably won't play too many games, but I will be playing MISSING LINK when it comes out since it's F2P mobage (which is... ugh, but my favorite part of KH lore has been on the mobile games of all things). And Fantasy Life i, I saved already for that. ;A; This year, I did play some great games! Mostly on my switch. To no one's surprise, RF4 Special is here. Favorite game of all time. Harvestella is a rare treat, highly recommend. :D

And onto reading goals... thinking 90 books for my 2024 goal! My books this year are at 130 currently, and probably won't get much higher if at all unless I finish my re-read of Chobits, but here's that list:

Some of these are re-reads, many are not. Quite a few indie books, quite a bit of manga/comics in there... I re-read Loveless after deleting that I read it on Goodreads due to the controversy, but I have thoughts about how it explores abuse and think it's a really intriguing series for that matter alone. (It also has beautiful art and is taboo as hell, but you can find the block button if you need it, can't you? <3 ) Many amazing reads this year, hoping to read more from several of these authors! And some I realllllly love and clearly will continue to read (Yuhki Kamatani, Rin Chupeco, Nghi Vo, etc.) This isn't including all I read on AO3. Which is quite a bit.