#so they actually FEEL like a found family

[kathaynesart]

RECOMMENDED MUSIC: Boom Goes the Donnie-mite (Mikey/Donnie/Raph vs the Sweeper) - "The Red Zone" by Mitsuoto Suzuk

Finally! This big ol' update is out! Thank you everyone for your patience. Hopefully the next one will be much sooner since I already have parts of it drawn out. We're nearing the end of... uh, lets just call it the "Holiday Special."

BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT (SOON) MASTER POST

Also couldn't get this out of my head as I was drawing this update:

Mikey's Ninpo:

Donnie's Ninpo:

Anyways, have some long winded deep dive into Donnie and Mikey's powers below the cut:

Mikey and Donnie are interesting because I feel these two are the ones who truly reach the full potential of their gifts. Mikey isn't there as of yet in the story but he will be by the end of Replica. Where as Leo and Raph had a lot of other things to focus on (leading, planning, and dealing with colony drama), Donnie and Mikey took the time to really focus on themselves and their abilities, choosing to distance themselves from a lot of the drama that the leaders of the family have to deal with.

Mikey's Ninpo

I always found it interesting how Mikey's weapon (the kusari-fundō) seemed to be the only one that had an actual entity within it. While they never address it, it's obviously some sort of flame demon/spirt. It could also help explain Mikey's dramatic increase in strength knowing that the spirit of his weapon is literally able to help him lift boats and buildings. I like to think that Michelangelo formed a connection with the spirit, especially since he looked so crushed when the Shredder destroyed his weapon in a way that none of the other brothers had.

Shortly after the victory against the Shredder I imagine he comes across his destroyed weapon in their old lair (probably while they're gathering thing to move to their new home) and he can still feel the sad little remnants of the spirit clinging to life in the broken object. I feel this would be the turning point that would lead to Mikey's first dip into the mystic arts. He would bring the weapon back to Barry for guidance and Barry would explain that the spirit has been bound to the object for so long that it can no longer survive on its own. Normally it could be bound to a new object but in it's dying state it would not be able to attach properly.

It is Mikey who suggests that maybe if it was bound to a person rather than a inanimate object then maybe the person could help the spirit survive. Barry admits the reasoning is sound and after much coercing finally helps guide Mikey through the steps, allowing the fire spirt to bind itself to Mikey's being (think something similar to Howl and Calcifer in Howl's Moving Castle, sans the heart losing). At first, not much seems to comes of the union. The spirit is still too weak to be able to do much of anything, but over time it regains its strength in tandem with Mikey and is able to gift him with similar abilities, becoming an integral part of Mikey's arsenal as well as a new spiritual connection to the Hamato family line. That is what we get a peek of here in this chapter.

Donnie's Ninpo

Just as Mikey canonically will go through a sort of mystic and spiritual enlightenment, Donnie too will have a similar scientific revelation. It always bothered me in the movie that his "firepower" (guns, missiles, etc) never seemed to be very effective, or at least not as effective as his ninpo designed physical constructs (such as the jet packs and the giant drill he uses on both the Krang and the Shredder). I believe this is because with physical constructs like a drill he has a sense of the weight and velocity needed to understand how hard it should hit. This properly visualized weight and damage is then made into reality.

But it's different with firearms and bombs. Up until the movie he really doesn't have a lot of real world experience around artillery and projectiles outside of what he sees on the internet and film. He does not know how a megaton bomb should feel or even the damage a bullet can create. And don't get me started on the the imaginary ray guns he uses on the Krang that don't seem to even leave a scratch. Without proper knowledge it's all just a light show. Very flashy, but not very effective.

When he realizes this it comes as a heavy hit to Donnie early on in the war. ...However, if there's one thing he is going to be exposed to in this bad timeline it's weapons of all kinds, even mass destruction. He will know exactly how it feels to get hit with a bullet, the blast of a projectile, and even an atomic bomb. He will then take this real world knowledge and recreate it in the same realistic way he can recreate his battle shell or drill staff. It takes a lot of work, sweat, and literal blood but this exposure to the worst of mankind's creations will help make him a walking encyclopedia of destruction. Over time, he will no longer need to make actual constructs of "bombs" or "bullets." He'll be able to simply create the pure raw power desired, no radiation or nuclear fusion needed. That's exactly what we see here.

We also see his use of shields, which is just as important as his ninpo arsenal. Specifically his ability to create shields to contain his own blasts, dramatically reducing the collateral damage from his own weapons of mass destruction. This makes him highly effective at taking down large enemies, but the shields sap his strength even more than the weapons (for it is easy to destroy, but hard to protect and preserve). This makes him often times a liability. He's often a sitting duck after pushing himself too hard and it can take him a decent amount of time to build these heavy hitting bombs. It's a double edged sword to be sure.

NOTE: these are stories I do plan to address further in my Patreon, with proper illustrations, but I wanted to give a little taste of what to expect! Haha. Very soon....

[reiderwriter]

Unfair We're Not Somewhere

Chapter Eight of I Can't Help Myself

Summary: With a little bit of help from someone who could relate a little bit too closely to your situation, Y/N tries to come clean. Tries.

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy symptoms/ general pregnancy things, unsub mentions, plot.

A/N: Chapter Eight! I'm so excited for where the rest of this series is going to go, though I do feel like people are going to be a bit annoyed by this one lmao. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below or in an ask! Don't be too mad...

Masterlist || Add yourself to the tag list

You sat quietly in the clinic as you waited for the pharmacist to fill your prescription - a simple pregnancy multivitamin that was supposed to help your food go down, make your hair shinier, and fix all your problems.

You wondered if the bottle could tell Spencer you were pregnant. You wondered if it could make him magically okay with that and prepare him for fatherhood, too. 

Your phone buzzed, and you surfaced from the field of thoughts you'd been lost in as you checked it. 

“Outside,” an unknown number had sent. You took that as your queue, stood up, and left the clinic, trying your best to avoid looking back at the small boy Spencer had been playing with. 

You weren't sure if you were going to have a boy or a girl yet. You didn't mind either, though you'd always envisioned yourself with a big enough family that you assumed at least one of each was inevitable. Though even you had to admit how stereotypically nuclear that was, and how only 18% of the country was living that was lying anyway. 

You shoved psychology from your head for a few minutes and let yourself breathe.

“Y/N!” JJ signalled from the driver's side of her still running SUV. She waved slightly, and you smiled politely as you quickly paced around to the side of her vehicle and got in. 

“Hi,” you said, unsure if you should introduce yourself or not. She'd been in the office the day you'd been taken into custody (protection), but you still had yet to speak to her. She'd been exempt from protective duty so far due to her status as a senior field agent and the fact that she had two kids and a husband at home waiting for her. 

You were sad she was the anomaly in the BAU, the only one with someone waiting on her. 

“I'm Y/N,” you said, still unsure if you should hold out a hand or not. You hadn't made the best impression on most of Spencer's colleagues, and while you didn't think there was much point in trying, you still couldn't bring yourself to be intentionally blasé. 

“I know, you're all we've been talking about for weeks,” the woman laughed, pulling out of the clinic car park and smiling at you. 

“Oh, right. Case. Of course, I've heard you probably know more about me than I know about myself.” 

“We have a profile, sure, but that's not what I meant.” 

You nodded awkwardly and stared out the window for a second, the sky darkening slightly as it prepared to rain. 

You drove for a few minutes before JJ spoke up again. 

“I don't know if Emily told you, but it's actually my day off today,” she said, turning off into a cul-de-sac you'd never seen before. 

“Oh, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I could've just got a taxi or something or just… gotten over myself. You didn't have to-” 

“Yes, I did,” she looked at you for a second, cocking her head to the side in a gesture that said, ‘and you know why.’ It was a look only a friend would give, and you felt an instant connection with her. 

How had Spencer found so many wonderful, big-hearted women to surround himself with, and how could you get in on it? 

You supposed, by letting him get you pregnant, you'd probably found a cheat code for whatever the answer might have been. 

“Anyway, it's my day off, so I promised my boys a fun day at home with mommy. We're doing finger painting and macaroni art. I hope you don't mind getting messy.” 

“Wha-? Me? Oh. No, not at all,” you tried to seem nonchalant, but your heart suddenly beat faster now that you were faced with this unexpected opportunity. As a lecturer, you'd been surrounded by kids professionally for years now. 18 to 21 year old kids. The kind that already had defined morals, world views, and, secretly, alcohol tolerances. The last time you'd encountered any kind of child younger than 18 was when you yourself were under 18.

The joys of toiling away at a doctorate for the better half of your adult life. You knew how to talk to professors and scholars. You were absolutely scared shitless of interacting with a kid. 

“H-How old are they?” You asked, trying to sound polite but falling somewhere between anxious and terrified with a simple stutter. 

“Well, Henry is turning 8 in November, and Michael is just about 22 months. He's just about talking, which is as fun as you can expect.” 

Her voice was tired, but there was genuine affection there, love for her kids and pride. You wondered if your voice would change if you'd suddenly begin speaking like that, too, about something other than a paper submitted to a journal or a job opportunity. 

She pulled into a street parking space and turned off the engine as two bright haired little boys came bouncing up the path of their garden to greet her, stopping at the gate. 

“Mommy! Michael got glitter on the carpet, and Daddy said we shouldn't tell you.” 

“And you have no sense of loyalty when a pretty face comes around, do you?”

Hopping out of the car, you heard JJ's husband drawl as she greeted him with a kiss. She'd probably only taken half an hour to pick you up, but they were still greeting each other so warmly. For a second, you wondered what that would be like before you remembered throwing yourself into Spencer's arms the night before. Your face heated as you stood awkwardly at the side of the car, trying not to cradle your stomach as you watched the family interact. 

Would your baby ever get that tall? Would it have brown eyes like Spencer, or one's more similar to your own? His hair was curly. Maybe your baby would get hair that waved like his, too. 

After all, JJ's kids seemed like perfect compromises between her and her husband. Other people's kids didn't, though. You wondered a lot of things before JJ gestured you over again. 

“Henry, Michael, this is Aunt Y/N. She's going to do those crafts with us today - after we've locked away the glitter and thrown away the key.” 

You laughed as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pushed you forward into the chaos of two kids under ten. 

You were a little startled as the smaller one - Michael - grabbed your hand. He had a pacifier in his mouth, though he was probably outgrowing it, and he stared up at you with big, wide eyes, blinking and sizing you up as he toddled along beside you. 

Your heart grew three sizes, and you felt sorry for ever being afraid of interacting with the kids. 

JJ whispered to her husband quickly as you entered the LaMontagne household, and he greeted you quickly. 

“So you're Spencer's lady friend. It's nice to meet you. It's nice that you're real. Honestly, I was getting a little-” 

A look from JJ cut him off, though he did still seem a bit confused. 

“I'm sorry, am I under the wrong impression? JJ said you were pregnant with Spencer's baby, y'all aren't…” 

“Oh my god-” you whispered, suddenly panicking again but whispering just in case. You weren't sure if the pair was religious, and though you certainly weren't, it probably wasn't the best time to blaspheme. You needed as much god as existed in the world. 

“So, does everyone know?” You asked JJ, trying to keep your voice bright and calm, so Michael didn't take too much of an interest and grow frustrated by hushed tones. You knew enough about child development and psychology, it translated over, right? 

“Everyone who's observant. Luke noticed the pregnancy vitamins in your bag, Tara was talking about your mood swings in the office the other day. I guess you told Emily earlier, and I have two kids.” 

You nodded at the answer. 

“And Spencer?” 

“You haven't told him yet?” JJ asked, slightly surprised. 

“If I told him, you'd know.” 

“Well, you're right on that. He's not the most easy-going during pregnancy,” JJ laughed and steered you into the living space, where your de facto art studio had been set up for the day, along with the offending glitter bomb. 

“Really? You thought you could keep that a secret?” 

“Well, of anyone was going to find it, it was going to be my beautiful, smart, funny, profiler Wife,” Will said, giving her a small peck on the cheek as she rolled her eyes at him. “I'm clocking in now. Call me if you need anything.” 

You waved him off, and sat down with the kids. 

JJ started the craft and then planned your hasty escape as the two boys were enraptured by making the perfect macaroni necklace, dusting it in objectively too much glitter as they proudly created their art. 

In the kitchen, she handed you a mug, and you sipped it quietly as she began again. 

“So, you're not dating?” 

“Nope.”

“And he doesn't know you're pregnant?” 

“No.” You took another sip and shifted from one foot to the other. 

You knew what was coming next. It was what you'd gotten next from Emily, from Penelope, from yourself when you'd thought about it for longer than ten seconds. You needed to tell him. 

“Okay. What's your next move?” 

You were so shocked you almost splashed the hot tea over the mug you held, close to burning yourself as you turned to face her. 

“I… what?” 

“Well, what's your next move? You're what, five months along? You're not going to be able to hide it for much longer. And you have to think about maternity leave, your hospital stay, and names, and who's going to drive you to the hospital. And obviously, how you're going to pay the hospital fee, and then custody and child support.”

“Oh god…” 

“And you also have to sort your relationship out with Spencer. So where are you starting?” 

It wasn't a question that didn't have an answer. JJ was staring at you, waiting for one as you opened and closed your mouth, head suddenly so empty you almost forgot what you were talking about. 

“He doesn't like me,” you suddenly blurted and wished you hadn't, face crumpling as you physically cringed at your own words. 

“Y/N, he was telling us about your toothbrush yesterday. Part of the office has a theory that he made up this case as a reason to get closer to you.” 

Again, you felt the heat blossom on tour skin as you looked away, taking another sip. 

“We don't do anything but argue.” 

“You do at least one other thing,” JJ said, hands on her hips as she confronted you. 

“No, that doesn't count. We were still arguing while we were doing…that.” 

“TMI,” she groaned as you fanned yourself. “Y/N, I know for a fact that Spencer is at least half in love with you. If you're absolutely sure you don't feel the same way, you need to at least let him down easy.”

“I…. I don't know. He's infuriating sometimes, but then he's so smart and annoying. But he's pretty great at comforting me. And the, uh, the other stuff, that was good, too.” 

“Don't need to-” 

“Like really good. Like, I'm not surprised I ended up pregnant practically first time good-” 

“Back on topic, please!” JJ whisper shouted, throwing her hands up as you zipped your mouth shut.

“You like him,” she said. 

You sighed and finally gave in. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I like him.” 

“Great. What next?” 

“Next, I tell him I'm pregnant and make him hate me for a while.” 

She patted you on the back and poised you another mug of tea before leading you back over to the kids and sitting beside them at the table. 

“We can plan something later. For now, macaroni art is calling.”

You weren't sure if it was the stern, practical pep-talk from JJ or the little tiny grasp of your hand from Michael. Maybe it was even Henry's goodbye of ‘see you soon, Auntie Y/N’ that had you suddenly invigorated, but you suddenly kicked yourself into gear. 

The pregnancy wasn't going to put itself on pause while you worked up the courage to tell Spencer about it. You had to do it. 

JJ dropped you off at home at 6 p.m., knowing that Spencer would be back at the apartment shortly. 

“You're sure you don't need me to stay up there with you? The commute can get a bit long this time of night, Spencer could be anywhere between 15 and 45 minutes.”

“No, I think… I think I need some time to think about how I'm going to do this. I need some alone time.”

She nodded quietly and sent you off after calling Spencer and giving him an update on your whereabouts. 

You paced the apartment wondering what the best option was. 

You could go for the bookshelf again, though it was still organised into your first message. You'd not moved a book in that stack at all, and surprisingly, neither had Spencer. 

Running into your room, you grabbed the pair of baby shoes you'd thrown into your bag from your apartment. Maybe if you left them on the shelf next to the books…? 

You put them there and frowned, wondering if he'd be able to see them from the door when he walked in. He was so used to the surroundings of his house that he really didn't check for irregularities. 

You moved them to the coffee table. Then you wondered if you should just hand them to him when he walked in. 

“Spencer. I am..pregnant,” you practised, looking into the bathroom mirror as you tried to force a smile. 

“Spencer. We're pregnant. No, not a chance,” you sighed. 

“Spencer, I have a parasite growing in me. I've had it for five months now, and then I'll have it for another four and hopefully a long time after that as well.” 

That one was mostly a joke. Mostly. 

“Spencer, I… We're going to have a baby.” You looked down at your bump again and decided that was probably your best option. It wasn't a state. It wasn't a condition or a parasite. It was a baby. 

You rubbed your stomach again and looked up, wiping away tears from the corner of your eye as you composed yourself again. 

The doorbell rang, and your heart race picked up. It was time. Spencer was home, and you were going to tell him. 

Suddenly, you were filled with excitement, with happiness. You ran to the door, stepping on the sofa to get there quicker as you ran to pull it open. 

Maybe it was the pregnancy brain fog, but you forgot where you were. 

Spencer Reid lived in this apartment. He didn't need to knock on the door or ring the doorbell. He'd never done it before. But you'd already swung the door open quickly, and you were so relaxed and ready for it to be him that when a hand extended and covered your mouth with a cloth, thick with a scent that had your body protesting, you could do nothing but crumple to the floor with your hands cradling yourself, protecting the life growing within you. 

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[misstycloud]

Yandere arranged fiancé x reader

You’re the sole daughter of the famous (l/n) family; big corporations, monopolisation and seemingly endless wealth are all words associated with your family. You have lived well your entire life and will for the rest of it, too. You have never been denied of anything, whether it be new clothes, makeup or whatever new hobby had caught your interest at the moment- except for the chance to take over the business after your father.

Unfortunately, despite how loving your family could be, they still held on to old traditions and ideas. One of which was that the large portion of the inheritance should go to the son. No matter how hard you try or how much you plead, you will never inherit the companies.

Your family doesn’t understand. They believe you should be content with your position- of course you know you’re incredibly privileged, but you hoped do be able to contribute to something instead of just sitting around forever. It made things meaningless. Did you only exist to become someone’s wife?

You barely remembered the first time you met him. You were around seven and he was ten. Despite your foggy recollection of what you two did that day, you did recall the expression on his face; emptiness and indifference. It was the day before that you heard the word fiancé for the first time. You didn’t know what it really meant, but thanks to your parents guidance, you understood it meant you two are going to be together for the rest of your lives.

Your parents had a couple whom they’ve been close friends for a long time, and it just so happened they had a son a little over your age. They were rich, just like you. So why not marry you two when you got older?

The first impression you had of him was of the oddnes he carried with him. He never smiled, never cried and barely spoke. He only lest he’d you with that blank look on his face. At least he played with you. Well, it depends on if it could be called playing, considering it was you dragging him around and demanding he humour you. Looking back at it, you feel bad for him having to endure the torture of a child’s endless energy. However, he didn’t complain at all and kept passing the ball after you continued sending it his way.

Whatever ‘I’m happy so I’m gonna make you happy with my happiness’- magic you had in your youth did eventually rub off on him. The change was evident in more ways in one. He started smiling- albeit they were small- and even gave the occasional chuckle. After that you became friends for real and it wasn’t forced as it’d felt in the beginning. This positive shift served as a strong motivator for both your parents’ willingness to have you wed. You supposed you would be rather devastated as well if your one and only child had come out with the emotional constipation your fiancé had, so you understood their encouragement. They treated you like some miracle cure.

You were content with your life and arrangement for years. That was until you got older and began actually thinking about your situation in detail. Your ambitions and needs also grew and you found yourself wishing to work to make your family greater; to put down the sweat and blood your ancestors had to give you the life you had now. But it was simply a dream, one that wouldn’t come true. You would never forget the confused- almost mocking-disbelief your mother and father showed you when you asked to inherit the company.

“Sweetie, why’d you ever be interested in such things?” Your mother asked. “Simply relax and enjoy the life you have now- the life your husband will continue to provide for you.”

You looked towards your father, hoping he would support you in any shape or form but he nodded in agreement with your mother.

“She’s right, dear.”

He was never a man of many words, however you a single sentence you knew the topic was done with.

While you had no doubt they loved you, they certainly didn’t understand you either. They couldn’t fathom why you weren’t content with your life and didn’t wish for your partner to take care of everything.

You spiraled afterwards. You could have everything and nothing at once. It was a strange feeling and it left you feeling angry. And that anger had to be directed at something: your fiancé. You began thinking he was the source of your misfortune. Because of him you would lose your freedom and have to live by his restrictions and rules for the rest of your life. Once you turn (y/o) you’ll have to marry him no matter your opinion. You would solely be his.

There was still time before your wedding and you’d be damned if you couldn’t live how you wanted until then. In an attempt of rebellion you moved out of your family’s estate and into an apartment of your own. (They agreed because they thought you desired to spend some alone time with your fiancé without them being near) You also stopped responding to his calls; he’d been calling every week to get updates on how things were going. You simply put your phone on silent mode whenever his name popped up. After the fifth time of calling, you blocked his number in great annoyance. Why couldn’t he just leave you be? You’re not ten anymore, you don’t have to talk every second of the day, ugh.

After a couple weeks with your new living conditions, another thought hit you. If you were going to be tied down to one man forever, why not meet as many as you can right now? And so you started going out more, inviting your friends to go clubbing and perhaps find someone interesting. More weeks followed, with a new guy in your apartment every month. Some stayed for the night only, while some preferred to stay a little longer. However, they all left as quickly as they’d come when you’d mention your engagement. Either they didn’t want to get tangled up in some lovers drama or they’d cuss you out for being a cheater. Were you one? Whatever, you thought, it doesn’t count if you don’t love each other- which you didn’t.

But one day, completely unforeseen by you, he swung by your new apartment. He’d been worried about you. Almost three months had gone by without a single word from you. He believed you might’ve gotten in an accident. Suddenly, you felt ashamed. It was strange, you hadn’t felt anything like it earlier. But now you did. You realised that your sweet, innocent fiancé wasn’t the root of your problems. You need to stop directing your anger at the wrong person. You explained everything, about how you felt and why you ignored him for so long.

You profusely apologised to him a million times when he found out about the others you’d been spending time with. You would never forget the look on his face that day when he found out. It was cold- colder than you’d ever seen him. Of course, he was like that to most, but never to you. In the end, he chose to forgive you. He told you that he understood and that it was fine; you weren’t wed yet and it was natural that you wanted to explore. You swore that you’d stop and make it up to him, while he said it wasn’t necessary, you hadn’t actually done anything wrong. You also swore that you’d be loyal to him and that you’d never do anything behind his back when you’re legally married. Thankfully, he appeared to believe you.

However, you wished you could’ve foreseen what would happen next. Nowhere in your mind, did you think you’d find yourself in your luxurious bathroom, staring at the two red lines of a pregnancy test. Eapecially when your fiancé didn’t have a part in it.

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[miley1442111]

treatment plan (part 2)- a.hotchner

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summary: aaron oversteps and it starts a fight.

pairing: aaron hotchner x insomnia! reader

warnings: angst, discussions of insomnia and feeling 'different' because of it, mental health, crying, happy ending, aaron is insecure, fighting, suggestive at the end

part of this au:

insomniac

treatment plan (part 1)

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You walked into work the next day, exhausted and rather irritated. Aaron was a tyrant as he shouted and screamed about anything small anyone did wrong, even when Derek made a dumb joke on the plane. The case was tough, three girls gone missing with nothing to connect them, apart from their clothing. You had nothing to go off of, and on top of it, it was a dead of winter in fucking Maine. Freezing didn't even begin to cover it. 

“This is a shithole,” you sighed as you walked into your hotel room. You knew Aaron was behind you, you knew he was going to try to talk to you, and in all honesty, you didn’t give a shit. You had absolutely no time for him. He’d called you selfish. When you did everything he asked of you, and more. Pathetic. He was the selfish one. 

“We’re in a remote town, what were you expecting,” his calm, yet cutting voice drove the wedge further between you, and suddenly the room became much colder. 

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, sarcasm dripping from your voice. “A Four Season’s?”

He scoffed. “Maybe then you’d actually sleep.”

He noticed how your face fell, and he really noticed when you locked yourself in the bathroom, taking a very long time to shower. He sighed as he sat on the bed, his pyjamas on, but he wasn’t tired. He was just… upset? Annoyed? Guilty? He wasn’t sure. What he did know was that he was sorry. He wanted you to come back home, come back to him. He wanted to hold you as you slept soundly under him, when you weren’t plagued with your anxieties and stress of the day. Those peaceful moments where you wouldn’t look back at him, because when you did he felt himself open. He felt like a raw, open wound when you looked at him. He often felt stupid because of it. Were you as affected by him as he was you? Was your world constantly flipped on its head every time he walked into the room like his was when you did?  

No, because Aaron Hotchner, boring, logical, unemotive, shy, Aaron Hotchner was nowhere near your excellence or beauty. Nowhere near your humour and tantalising smile. Nowhere near you emotional expressions and unwilling intelligence. 

Aaron knew he had no chance with you from the get-go, and he had been shocked when you’d asked him out, after months of pining after you. As he watched you with Jack, with the team, he saw himself slowly falling into your orbit, and falling in love. 

And he fucked it up, all because he was worried, and far too logical for love to work. 

He turned off his light and turned over. He didn’t turn around and comfort you when he heard your soft sobs, and he only let himself cry when he was sure you were asleep. God, why couldn’t you two just talk?

---------------------

You woke up before Aaron, a rare thing, so you took full advantage. You left the hotel before him, got to the precinct first, and kept going with the case, Spencer and Emily by your side. When Aaron came in thirty minutes later, you were already on your way out to interview the families with Jj, so he couldn’t talk to you. 

You two were called back after another body had been found later that day, the sky already dark as you two pulled up to the scene. Aaron was waiting. 

“I’ll take Agent Y/l/n, you can go back to the precinct Jj, thanks.”

And there was no room for arguing.  

---------------------

You and Aaron walked onto another crime scene, the dark sky and minimal light making the small path difficult to see. You didn’t even want to be around Aaron, let alone around him in a professional setting. Everyone on the team knew what was going on because Penelope cannot keep things to herself. You stepped, squinting to see the tiny dirt path through the trees and bam, you were sliding down a mud hill. 

“Fuck!” you shouted, finally stopping at the bottom. You were covered in mud, you were exhausted, and you were upset. Not a good mix. You felt the tears of frustration well up in your eyes, but swallowed them down when Aaron came to your rescue.

“Are you hurt?” he asked frantically, checking your body for cuts and bruises. “Y/n!”

“I’m fine Aaron, I just slipped,” you sigh, getting up with his help. “I’ll head back to the hotel and shower, I’ll see you in the morning-”

“Let me come with you, please,” he pleaded. You reluctantly agreed and off you two went, back to the hotel. 

You stood in the lobby, muddy and cold as Aaron got the room keys. 

He stared at you as you waited for the elevator.

“Let’s go Aaron,” you sighed. You walked in silence to your room, and when you went into the bathroom, locking the door behind you, Aaron sat on the bed and sighed. What the fuck was he going to do? 

He’d fucked up before, but not like this. He knew he was pushing you when he said what he said, but he was just so scared, so worried, so… uncontrolled. He didn’t know what to do, a new feeling for him. 

“Y/n,” he called from the other side of the bathroom. “I’m sorry.” 

He heard you mumble something. “Can I come in?” He asked. Suddenly the door was unlocked and he was let in. 

“What do you want?” You asked, washing your hair in the bath. Aaron gulped, god you were gorgeous. 

“I’m sorry about the fight,” he admitted, trying to keep his thoughts off your body. “I know I should’ve respected your decision, but I’m really fucking scared. I’m really, really scared. I’ve never had to think about this, and with all the awful facts Reid keeps telling me-”

“You need to stop listening to him,” you chuckled. “And I understand. It can be a lot, even for me.”

While you were annoyed at him, you understood where he was coming from. This was scary. The statistics were scary. The diagnosis was scary. He was just trying to look out for you, like he always does, and maybe a part of what he was saying was right. Maybe you should keep trying, it just gets hard when you are constantly told that you’re untreatable. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “Can we start talking to each other again?”

You chuckled. “Yeah, and I’m sorry I ran away.” 

“I deserved it,” he chuckled. “So…?”

“So… I will go back to looking for treatment,” you said and his face lit up. “But if it gets too much for me I will stop again. And I’m not selfish for doing that.”

He nodded. “I’m sorry I ever said that, you’re the most selfless person I've ever met.”

“And also,” you added. “I love you, but you cannot keep taking your frustrations out on me and expect me to be alright. That’s not fair.”

“I promise,” he nodded. 

“Then, I think we’re back to normal,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to his hand. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” he smirked, allowing his mind to focus on other things…

---------------------

criminal minds masterlist :)

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[mlm-writer]

Aftertaste (Eddie & Venom x GN!Reader)

Pairing:  Eddie Brock & Venom x Gender Neutral Bottom Reader Rating: Mature for discussion of sex Words: 918 POV: Second Summary: After some kinky sex (<- click for the prequel), Eddie and Venom take care of you. Oh and Eddie experiences some mild dom drop. Note: Guess who's back? Back again? Gayden's back! Tell a friend! Tags: aftercare, dom drop, hurt & comfort, cuddling, could be read as romantic, could be read as you're fwb and reader's physical appearance is not described

A trail of cum connected the corner of your mouth with the puddle of cum on the tiles below your cheek. At the start of the evening, those tiles had been cold, but underneath you they have been warmed by your spent body. With the post-orgasm bliss fading into the background, you started noticing the soreness settling in your muscles. A warm hand gentle pushed your hair to the side and out of your eyes. In the dim light, you could see warm, concerned eyes staring down at you. “Are you with me?” Eddie spoke between laboured breaths. You licked his cum off the corner of your lips and smiled at him. “Good,” he added when he understood your non-verbal signal. He seemed relieved, smiling down at you with awe and surprise. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, a towel appeared next to Eddie. However you could still spot the black tendril holding it up by a corner. Eddie took it and folded it up. He lifted your head and wiped your face with one side, before placing it under your face with the other side up. You could feel wet tendrils squeezing between your skin and all the duct tape restricting your movement. The sticky tape came off easily with Venom’s gentle wriggling, leaving no redness on your skin nor taking any hairs from your flesh. Once freed, you stretched your legs out, ending up face down on the floor. “That can’t be comfortable,” Eddie commented. 

“Let us carry you to the couch,” Venom softly mused in your ear. You hummed in reply, bracing yourself. Eddie and Venom merged into one and Eddie’s warm hands wormed their way under your body. He rolled you over and then carried you bridal style to the couch, where a blanket was already waiting for you. Venom’s tendrils wrapped the old fleece blanket around your bodies, protecting you from the chill in the apartment. “You must drink,” the symbiote commanded. He materialised another appendage to somehow make grabbing a glass of water a very perilous and loud endeavour. You thanked him when he eventually got the glass to you. You meant to sip on it, but in just a few seconds, the glass was empty. Venom put the empty glass on the coffee table for you. “Are you feeling satisfied now?” 

You chuckled at Venom’s word choice. “Very much so, Venom. Thank you.” You rested your head on Eddie’s shoulder. “What about the two of you?” Your question was met with a long pause. “Eddie?” You twisted your neck to look at his face. He was clearly thinking of something, but whatever that brain was cooking up, he was not sharing it with you at the moment. 

“Eddie, why are we feeling… guilty?” Venom’s voice was unusually small. It must be bad to affect Venom this much. You reached back, scratching gently at his scalp. Now you were paying attention, you could feel how tense Eddie’s muscles were under you. 

“Talk to me, Eddie,” you whispered as you moved underneath the blanket to straddle his lap. He avoided your eyes at first, but your hand resting at the back of his neck got him comfortable enough to really look at you. It felt like he was staring into your soul for the answers to questions he didn’t dare ask. He took a deep breath, before finally speaking up. 

“You really liked…” He waved his hand in the air as he tried to formulate words that were family-friendly enough that he could get them out of his mouth. That man fucking you within an inch of your life was nowhere to be found. “You liked us going back and forth, right? Like actually, for real?” He looked at you through his lashes. You huffed out a relieved augh and nodded eagerly. “Okay… okay good,” he huskily spoke between weighted breaths. 

You cupped his face and made him look at you. “Hey, Eddie, look at me.” You exaggerated your breathing, showing him slow, deep breaths. Eddie followed suit, following your breathing pattern. “Good boy,” you teased him once he no longer seemed like he was going to crawl out of his own skin and hide in the corner. You kissed his nose and caressed his face. “If I think too much about it, yeah the going back and forth was fucking filthy, but that kind of made it hot? And there is nothing wrong with that.” Eddie seemed to agree with you. A few deep breaths and he could nod more confidently. You leaned against his body, resting your head on his shoulder. You stayed like that for a while, until you thought too much about the wild sex you just had. “Ok, I am ready to brush my teeth now and gargle some mouthwash.” 

Eddie chuckled and helped free you from the fleece blanket. “Need any help?” He offered as he watched you stand up. There was dried cum on your body, your skin still glistening with sweat and your hair a wild mess. He wanted to burn that image in his mind. 

You looked at him over your shoulder and cocked up an eyebrow. “Why? Think I don’t know how a toothbrush works?” When you saw how your words pulled Eddie from his trance, you chuckled. He opened his mouth to probably tell you that was not what he meant, but your smile told him you knew. You shook your head in amusement and left Eddie on the couch. “See you space cowboy.” 

—————

REBLOG TO SUPPORT YOUR FANFIC WRITERS

Likes do not help exposure! A comment in tags or replies can prevent writer's block, even if the work is a decade old (not that I have works on here that are that old)!

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

pre-chaggie and Vaggie getting confused (NOT jealous) over why Charlie bought a nice red hair ribbon (not jealous at the ribbon) and keeps carrying it around and touching it (which is fine-)

but then, never wears it?

if Charlie'd just had second thoughts that'd make sense, buyer's remorse or whatever- only Charlie keeps the ribbon on her nightstand and keeps grinning at it and picking it up to fiddle with, she once chased Razzle and Dazzle through the house when they snagged it for some reason

and that all would makes SENSE, if Charlie ever used it, or if it was some old memento thing.

It's not. Vaggie found it unpacking groceries one day and Charlie squeaked like a stepped on dog toy when she saw Vaggie pulling it out

the embarrassed squeak thing is why Vaggie hasn't asked Charlie about it before now

that and the fact that Charlie the chatterbox didn't instantly explain the ribbon in an adorable gush of words for Vaggie to sit back and soak in, like usually happens.... the only other things Charlie keeps quiet about are Important Stuff like her family or why she isn't living with them or visiting them or really has much contact with them At All

but with Vaggie's back wounds slowly healing up and the one eye thing getting more settled-

-tangent on Charlie reading in bed to Vaggie incoming, hold on

(vaggie skimming through charlie's books one day bc charlie likes reading aloud before going to sleep)

(and she tried doing it very quietly once they started sharing the bed)

(up until they figured ou vaggie sleeps BETTER if she drifts off listening to her)

(so now charlie keeps asking if vaggie has any requests)

(vaggie can't just say she's mostly in it for the sound of this woman's voice sooooo)

(she's looking for something to catch her- ha- EYE)

(of course it's a book cover with a pirate on it, of course it's bc of the eyepatch)

(of course it got shoved mostly out of sight bc charlie was worried it'd make vaggie feel bad)

(when vaggie drops it on the bed that night charlie faces a new worry)

(she can't help thinking about dashing swashbuckling pirate vaggie in dashing swashbuckling pirate get up that charlie never noticed was quite so dashing and hot before)

(of course she doodles it in the book margins that night)

(with vaggie slumped over her chest)

(vaggie finally asleep despite the backpain and headache, comfy and snuggled bc of her, charlie)

(vaggie breathing against charlie’s collar bone while charlie daydreams about getting rescued at sea by fierce but secretly soft hearted pirate lady that bears only a SLIGHT exact resemblance to vaggie-)

(of course charlie's so embarrassed she flings the book across the room)

(trying to remove the temptations she can since she clearly CAN’T remove the pretty lady who's using her like a pillow and risk waking vaggie up)

(annnnnd next morning neat and tidiness freak vaggie finds the thrown book)

(casually flips through to the parts she slept through last night as charlie watches is silent frozen horror)

(sees the doodle of her as a pirate)

(stares)

(wow actually she'd totally rock an eyepatch wouldn't she?)

(Which was charlie's cue to dig through her old dress up box for an eyepatch and leave it casually lying directly on vaggie's lap that night bc charlie was nervous and her aim was terrible and she meant to sneakily drop it on vaggie's nightstand but maybe missed just a liiiittle bit, or not, since vaggie tries it out, likes it a whole lot, and stops smoothing down the bangs on that side of her face every three seconds to make sure her missing eye is covered by them. Now the eyepatch does that for her.

(now she starts running her hand through her bangs in a more absentminded way, leaving them looking a bit wind tossed and a tiny bit rakish and FUCK charlie morningstar is in trouble....)

ah

but this was about the hair ribbon thing. Right.

so Vaggie's been healing up a lot in the last few months, time marked by the slow growing out of her hair and her increasing time spent fiddling with it, as much as she can anyway

in fact Vaggie’s hair has gotten so long that Charlie’s the one who’s brushing it for her, now.

long hair takes, well, longer to deal with and Vaggie just can’t hash all that time reaching up and around and doing the reparative motions that remind her scarred up shoulders of when they used to have wings beating there, the torn muscles and phantom pangs where other limbs should be

luckly Charlie LOVES messing with hair- (or says she does, not mentioning she’d love just about any excuse to spend time sitting close to Vaggie and touching her in some way) so it all works out fine

maybe too fine. Maybe Vaggie starts really REALLY being glad she decided to grow out her hair..

…and increasingly less glad, thinking about the day when she won’t need Charlie’s help with it anymore

that day is coming up pretty fast. Turns out even when the attacker is another angel, angels still heal up pretty well, especially with a nice demon lady to help

even sans normal depth perception and not yet great at compensating for it, Vaggie’s not banging into stuff so much anymore as she learns the layout of the house (and Charlie learns not to be so spontaneous with day-to-day furniture placement anymore), and lately Vaggie's had a lot less trouble just doing stuff in general. She can do her bends and stretches without grumbling about stiffness. Can reach down and pick up Razzle or Dazzle and carry them around without thinking twice about it (still doesn't notice Charlie's pointed comments on how they can totally fly just fine or the pouts Charlie throws at the lucky little demons whenever they snuggle more smugly into Vaggie's arms)

best of all- as far as Charlie is concerned Vaggie's not grimacing when she has to put on a shirt or jacket-

but she IS STILL SMILING when Charlie holds out said jacket to help her slip it on, especially when it's Charlie's jacket, especially the times when Charlie climbs out onto the roof in the middle of the night to find Vaggie and wrap her in said jacket after noticing her new cuddle buddy wasn't in their bed anymore which apparently was enough to wake Charlie up and.... ahem....

point is, Vaggie has fewer pain things to be distracted and exhausted by these days, and that damn ribbon mystery is starting to get to her

she doesn't wanna over step this ridiculous amount of hospitality Charlie's been showing her

(still internally struggling between the sickening thought that it Must Be A Trap and the million times worse physically painful idea that it's not, that someone like Charlie has been here in hell the whole time, and that Charlie's really been just THAT alone that she'd latch onto any stranger who let her help them and smiled at her about it)

Vaggie KNOWS there's a lot Charlie isn't saying yet about just how bad things have been for her, with the abandonment, the isolation, the grinding futility of not being able to change hell if hell isn't on board with it too and having to watch her home repeatedly set itself on fire (literally) when it's not being slaughtered (partly by Vaggie, until just recently)

Charlie not talking about something means Charlie doesn't want to talk about the thing, and Vaggie can respect that. She, Vaggie, gets it completely-

to a degree that's skirting the line of passively outright LYING by omission when she doesn't correct Charlie's guess about her being a moth-themed sinner demon, instead of the former murder angel she is, instead of telling Charlie who Charlie is actually letting stay in her home and sleep draped over her and neatening Charlie’s bowtie for her bc Charlie looks really good in it and Vaggie wants everyone to see that and also wants to remember how Charlie’s shoulder’s felt under her hands as she smoothed the lapels down at the end for good measure

ANYWAY

not talking about their shitty pasts can totally be their shared thing. That would be great actually.

but that ribbon. That fucking ribbon.

the way Charlie holds it and smiles at it fondly and PETS the damn thing sometimes. How she gets all dreamy eyed over it. That one time Vaggie heard her GIGGLE while pressing the pretty red thing to her chest

(that is vaggie's spot vaggie is the one whos snuggles over charlie's heartbeat every night-)

(She is NOT getting territorial over a fucking piece of cloth)

(she's got no right to)

(she probably won't be here much longer anyway, now she's healing up so well)

(she would be a lot smarter and safer if she got her crippled angel but out of there and vanished into the masses of hell, if she DIDN'T keep living with and lying to the actual literal legit princess of honestly to fucking hell. or sleeping in her BED)

(she keeps telling herself that)

(it's not working)

(she keeps thinking of charlie alone in the house again and feeling sick)

the giggle is too much though, and Vaggie does end up asking-

Vaggie: "Are you ever gonna wear it?"

Charlie: "Hm? Me wear what?"

Vaggie: "The." (points at ribbon) "That."

Charlie: "Oh THIS!?" (eeps) (hides ribbon behind back) "Oh no it's not for me! It's uh I mean, it's not really my kinda thing!"

Vaggie: "Not your thing? You always tie your hair back."

Charlie: "Yeeees, but not with ribbons!"

Vaggie: "It's red. Your favorite color."

Charlie: "Correction- Red USED to be my favorite color!"

Vaggie: "Really? Since when?"

Charlie: "Since, uh, since no time in particular...."

Vaggie: "So what's your new fav color-"

Charlie: "THE RIBBON'S NOT EVEN MINE, ACTUALLY! That's! What I meant!"

Vaggie: "But you bought it."

Charlie: "I can buy things for people who aren't me?"

Vaggie: "You keep it next to you while you sleep and won't stop picking it up and stroking it like it's a kitten or something."

Charlie: "Well, I just.... like checking! Checking that it's as nice as I thought it was!"

Vaggie: "Is it gonna be a gift or something?"

Charlie: "Yes YES that's EXACTLY what it is!!!"

Vaggie: "Didn't know someone's birthday was coming up."

Charlie: "Oh no it's more of a, a congratulations kinda gifty thing?"

Vaggie: "That's sweet." (dredges up a smile) "Give my congrats to them too, okay?"

Charlie: "Ah, um. But you don't even know what the congrations are for...?"

Vaggie: "Coming from me, it's for having someone who cares so much in their life."

Charlie: "Y- they have what? Who??"

Vaggie: (laughs) "You, sweetie."

Charlie: "I'm- I'm just giving a ribbon! It's just a ribbon!"

Vaggie: "You're putting a lot of care and thought into it, and thinking of them being happy about it is getting you all giggly.”

Charlie: “I giggled?”

Vaggie: “Yeah you did. If it were me, that wouldn't -just- be a ribbon, coming from you."

Charlie: "....."

Charlie: ".... OH SHIT I NEED TO GO TAKE THE LAUNDRY OUT OF THE DRYER THING!"

Vaggie: "It's out already. I'm folding it right now, with you."

Charlie: (already half out of the room) "TAKE OUT THAT’S A GREAT IDEA I'LL GO ORDER SOME!!"

Vaggie: "Your phone's right here though-"

Charlie: "I'LL GO ORDER IT IN PERSON!"

Vaggie: "Why-?"

Charlie: "FRESH AIR! SAVE THEM A WALK!!! I'll be right back- don't go anywhere okay!?"

Vaggie: "Okay..."

Charlie: (exits)

Charlie: (pokes her head back in) "Um."

Vaggie: "I'd kill for more of what we got last week."

Charlie: "Right! ON IT!" (flees)

Vaggie: (smiles) (goes back to laundry folding) (is curled up and using on of charlie's freshly folded shirts as a pillow when charlie gets back with the emergency take out)

Alright.

So Charlie might not be as alone as Vaggie assumed / feared.

That's a good thing. Right? Right.

She doesn't really need Vaggie.

(as soon as vaggie's as healed as she'll ever be, she won't need charlie either)

(she tries telling herself that)

(once)

(it doesn't work)

(she's not good at saying stuff- but she's absolute shit at lying)

To keep from thinking stupid things, Vaggie does what works best for clearing her mind- she moves. Lots of limbering up, lots of spear practice, lots of playing uppsie toss with little demons, a bit of dancing thrown it-

(yes okay sometimes it's with charlie and sometimes it's charlie grinning and strumming out a tune on her guitar she knows vaggie can't not dance to, bc she's been paying attention to the songs vaggie bobs her head to or hums along with, and look that's totally normal, and if dancing with or for charlie makes vaggie's heart beat way faster than that level of exercise normally should that's between her and no one else so shut up)

-she's getting stronger, is the point. She's getting back to where she used to be at,

and maybe it's a bit frustrating that just being able to reach up and grab something off the top shelf is SUCH a clear sign of recovery,

maybe she's frustrated with herself for a moment

angry at herself for the shock of cold dread as she realizes she didn't NEED Charlie and in all her lanky glory to get the thing down for her...

it’s almost time to stop pretending

she was never really needed here

but it's hard to focus on frustration or fear or self-loathing, when Charlie is letting out one of her happy yips and literally starts applauding

Charlie: "UNHOLY SHIT VAGGIE, you did it! You did it all by yourself!!”

Vaggie: (blinking back to the present moment)

Vaggie: “..Did what?”

Charlie: “You reached the middle shelf!!!"

Vaggie: "Oh, huh…” (looks up) “Uh excuse you that is the top shelf, sweetie."

Charlie: (laughing) "Whatever you say~"

Charlie: "Now wait RIGHT HERE okay?" (dashes out of kitchen) "Don't move!"

Vaggie: "...."

Charlie: (skids back in) "Okay I- Vaggie what!? Don't hold the pose like that! You're back will flare up- why didn't you put you arms down again???"

Vaggie: "You said don't move."

Charlie: "I meant! From the KITCHEN! Gah!"

Vaggie: (smirks) "It's fine, I do exercises like this anyway."

Charlie: "But not without warming up first- oh whatever. We'll deal with it later. Right now though..."

Charlie: (beams) (holds out ribbon)

Charlie: “Here!”

Vaggie: "....what am I supposed to do here, Charlie."

Charlie: "Take it! If you want to?

Vaggie: “That’s your ribbon.”

Charlie: “Nope! It's yours!"

Vaggie: "But.. didn't you get it as a gift for..."

Charlie: "For you. I got it for you."

Vaggie: "..."

Charlie: "... it's for, your hair?"

Vaggie: "My hair."

Charlie: "You've been growing it long and, taking care of it yourself when you couldn't hold your arms up wasn't really a thing- so I didn't want to give a present that reminded you of that, but also having long hair is so FUN you can do so MUCH with it-! Ribbons are great for messing around with and finding your own new styles and, um."

Charlie: "Y-you don't seem to HATE the color red? You like wearing my jacket just fine! I think? So I saw this, one day, and thought- wow! That would beautiful on Vaggie! Maybe she'd like it?"

Charlie: "So I got it, and then I couldn't give it yet, not until you could put it in yourself if you wanted to-"

Charlie: "And now you CAN! Or not?"

Charlie: "It's just been so great seeing you getting better, I, I just thought you should get something nice out of all this too- something new, something yours."

Charlie: "Like. A ribbon?"

Charlie: (gingerly holds out ribbon)

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: (gently takes ribbon) "I have no idea how to wear one."

Charlie: (breathes out) "Oh there's all sorts of ways! I can show you! You can experiment the FUCK out of them and see what you like!"

Vaggie: "Yeah?" (chuckles) (not making eye contract)

Charlie: "ANYTHING you like, Vaggie." (staring at her) (smiling soppily) "If the ribbon's not your thing, then anything else. More spears... tickets to one of the less-gory concerts, a motorbike-"

Vaggie: "A motorbike for a woman who keeps running into tables."

Charlie: "There's no traffic laws in hell! Or, I don't know, maybe-"

Charlie: (flinching) "Your own apartment? If you.. if you wanted that.. your own space could be nice, I bet. I’d miss you but you might like-"

Vaggie: "You're not buying me an apartment, Charlie."

Charlie: "I can if I want to! If YOU want me to?"

Vaggie: "I'd have to steal Razzle and Dazzle. Take them with me."

Charlie: (hand on chest) (mock outraged) "You'd steal MY childhood plushies turned demon bodyguards??? Not happening!"

Vaggie: "Then I guess I'm staying."

Charlie: "RIGHT! Yes. You are.” (softly) “You are.”

Vaggie: "You've bribed me with soft adorable demon cuddles."

Charlie: (not realizing vaggie means her) "The old Razzle Dazzle never fails. BUT I'm still waiting on an answer! We really need to celebrate."

Vaggie: "Celebrate my single handed conquest of the top shelf?"

Charlie: "Yes! The middle shelf."

Vaggie: "Top shelf."

Charlie: "Middle?"

Vaggie: "Top."

Charlie: "There's another shelf above it?"

Vaggie: "That the stupid extra shelf."

Charlie: (snorts) "We do NOT have an extra shelf, Vaggie."

Vaggie: "...."

(charlie said WE)

Vaggie: "...you know what I'd really like?"

Charlie: "What?" (leaning in) "Anything. Tell me."

Vaggie: (holds out ribbon)

Vaggie: "Help me put it on."

Charlie: "Put it on you, FOR you?"

Vaggie: "And maybe tie it in a cute bow or something."

Charlie: "But." (worried) "Is your back-?"

Vaggie: "My back's fine, sweetie. I don't need you to do this for me."

Vaggie: (finally looking up) (eye a little teary)

Vaggie: "I just want you to."

Charlie: (not breathing)

Charlie: ".....okay."

Charlie: (remembering to breathe) (blinking hard) (Beaming)

Charlie: "Anytime, Vaggie.”

It’s a promise.

It’s stupid how long it takes them to figure out they’re both single-brain cell in love with each other. But that’s fine, they can just be stupidly in love together for longer than that, to make up for it.

[happylikeasadsong]

syd x carmy in season three

i’m back here cause i have way too much to say than it can fit on thread on twt

this is just what i could come up after sitting on s3 for the past few days, i was spiralling, it was bad.

this will be a long one, so settle in!

for me, regardless if this season was supposed to be a two parter or not, one thing that’s clear to me is that we were meant to watch this rupture in their relationship develop throughout the season.

listen, he was locked in that freezer for hours, and in those hours he spiraled beyond control. we can’t expect sydcarmy to have the same dynamic as the past seasons cause they’re not in the same place they were before. Carmy locked in the walk-in changed him and therefore, changed their dynamic too.

he promised syd in the first episode that he was never gonna leave her alone again, but in his fucked up mind, this means never let her make a solo decision when is comes to the menu, is having him make all the decisions himself and have the last say and change her every input. For him, this is how he honours his promise and for syd is how he makes her feel under appreciated and undermined.

he makes it look like it doesn’t matter what she does, as great as it is, he’ll always change it and make it about him. the decision of having her as a partner takes her by surprise cause they have never discussed it, he dumps all of these things on her, first thing in the morning, she can wrap her mind around the fact that’s that same guy she left a few hours before. He’s completely changed.

And though she tries to at least get on board and support his non-negotiables list and the menu changing every day and all the bullshit with richie, by “doors” she’s already exhausted of trying to keep up with him, tired of being his babysitter.

so when that new opportunity is presented to her, she actually considers it because it’s a way out of working in a stress free environment where she has full creative control to shape the new place as she sees fit (also the pay and benefits?? I’d be signing that shit right there lmao). It really is an incredible opportunity.

so yeah, i feel like we were meant to see how they crack under pressure and this was something chris storer had said in interviews before when talking about s2 on how hard it is to open a restaurant and keep it running once you do. he always wanted to explore the gritty stuff and I felt like he accomplished that in this season.

from a narrative standpoint, at some point we had to see syd and carmy’s partnership is put to test, we need to see what falling out to the point of almost no return looks for them in order to see how they are gonna find their way back to each other. and i can’t see a better time to do it than now.

it can feel hopeless, yes, and feel like they’re not gonna make it to the finish line, but let’s remember this is a story about finding new ways to reconnect to the things/ people you love, found family and generational trauma.

we see carmy is at his lowest, sydney is at her lowest, so logically the only way we can get to is up.

i believe that after carmy confronted his abusive boss, he had some sort of breakthrough from the way he sighed after their talk. i took it as his way of beginning to process his trauma.

as for sydney, we saw how deeply the idea of leaving has affected her, even though she knows is for a better place where her ideas will be respected and appreciated they way she knows it deserves. hopefully her panic attack will be enough to make her realize she needs help making the decision (if she can’t have her best friend and partner for this, then she’ll have her dad).

all of this to say that i am hopeful and excited to see what’s coming next year, and i truly believe sydcarmy is on the right path (this is a slow burn doing slow burn things ffs). We can’t let go just when things gets interesting. im dying to see their big fight, it’s something I’ve been needing since s2.

they’re still soulmates (after we saw the invisible string scene, there’s no going back) and they had significant scenes this season too, just not the way ppl thought it would be.

let’s have them work it out on the remix

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

June 30th

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1. Ok this might be a shot in the dark. But do you know of a fic where basically it’s an arranged marriage (kind of) between lan zhan and trans (ftm) wei ying. It believe it is based on a reddit thread of a gay guy who got into an arranged marriage with a woman, but they actually are a trans man. Anyways…the reddit posts are deleted by now. But I remember reading this fic a couple years back and I can’t find it anywhere. Either it’s been deleted or hopefully someone else is able to find it 😭

FOUND? Lift Us Where Suffering Cannot Reach by Khashana (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern, Arranged Marriage, Marriage of Convenience, fake married, Sort Of, Rule 63, Trans Woman WWX, Partial Cisswap, implied background/societal homo/transphobia, But nothing overt, background LXC/Qin Su also in a marriage of convenience way, gender euphoria, the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with your spouse, based on that one reddit post, Light Angst, Light Pining, this fic is soft mostly) I think #1 might be this one, although wwx is a trans woman in it (it's a wlw wangxian AU) rather than a trans man

~*~

2. Hi!! I cant remember if I already sent this or just thought really hard about it 😪 Im looking for a modern AU fic where WWX is dx'd ADHD and he and LWJ slowly start a relationship. The scene I remember most clearly is there being fireworks and it send LWJ into a meltdown. Ether just before or after the meltdown he found out LXC and LQR have been trying to get him diagnosed with Autism.

Xiao Xingchen is an adult psych who specalizes in neurodivergence iirc, and WWX helps make LWJ feel more okay w possibly being neurodiverse by talking about his experience w ADHD and Xiao Xingchen.

🙇‍♀️ thank you! @la-voce-to-me

FOUND? together, we're just enough by lulu_kitty (E, 134k, WangXian, Modern AU, Bartender LWJ, single dad wwx, Kid fic (sort of), Excessive Fluff, Yearning, neurodivergent wangxian, canonical parental issues, lwj in jewelry, accidental sugar gege wwx, Bottom LWJ, Service Top WWX, Bisexual WWX, Rich WWX, a-yuan is a wei but still also a wen, wwx is a-yuan's biological baba, Older WWX, Younger LWJ, Slow-ish burn, Light Dom/sub, Brief LWJ/Others, Past WWX/Other(s)) sounds a lot like the happenings in chapter 8!

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3. hey admins! i'm looking for a fic where wwx is from the modern world back and somehow goes back in time to the cloud recesses and spends some time there, and towards the end of the fic lwj goes back to the modern with wwx. (i also remember that wwx and lwj goes back and forth often visiting each others home) thanks! <3

FOUND? Wrong Turn, Right Place by diamondbruise (E, 71k, WangXian, Time Travel, kind of, it’s more reality travel but there’s modern wwx and cultivator lwj, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Misunderstandings, Cultural Differences)

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4. This for fic finder. Its an old fic. Modern au focused on junior quartet. I dont know if the fic is several fic or in one fic. Junior quartet is in a club where they make a magazine (sorry i forgot the word both in my language and in english). They have an access to a school forum. LJY found an old forum talking about wangxian. Like the people in that forum failed to make wangxian happen in the past. If i remember correctly, they tried to matchmake wangxian. They ask LWJ to accompany them to yunmeng. In yunmeng, there are big festival happened there and they meet the jiang family in second floor of the restaurant to watch the festival from there. I think the jiangs is a respectable family that many people know them. So long story short, they manage to matchmake wangxian. I dont know if LJY release the news to that old forum or someone did. Just that LJY have an inkling the account that helped them is NHS. I dont know if this is important but LJY username has connection to chicken. I think thats all. Thank you @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND! Operation Old Men by Chiharu (Not Rated, 37k, WangXIan, JL & LSZ & LJY, JYL/JZX, Modern, Boarding School, Single Parents, Everyone Is Alive, Matchmaking, Family Dynamics, Hospitals, Meet the Family, Family Vacation, Weddings, School Reunion, Happy Ending)

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5. this for ficfinder! i need help looking for a time travel fic wherein established wangxian travel back to their teen years. iirc wwx and lwj writes to each other in secret and wwx invents talismans to give to the jiang sect so that he can repay his debts and leave the clan when he is at a certain age. lwj also leaves (??). i think they become rogue cultivators tgt. im pretty sure i have this downloaded but i cant find it from hundreds of fics bc i cant rmbr the name 😭

FOUND? Trials of Time by Muggle_Diary (E, 32k, wangxian, major character death, underage, time travel, not jiang friendly, not YZY friendly, not JC friendly, butterfly effect)

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6. Hello!! So i think the fic got deleted but all i can remember was wangxian had mythical creature eggs? Like they had a dragon,tiger,snake&turqoise and phoenix and they can talk telepathically at first then they can shift to humans later on!Thank you again so much!!!!

FOUND? For #6 with telepathic creatures, I haven't read the fic, but could it be that magical marriage ribbons series?

FOUND? #6 is My Immortal. I can't do the link on I'm my phone. It has the mythical beasts.

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7. Hii, I'm looking for a fic in which lan zhan goes to a party with lan xichen and then keeps going to the same house where the party is at many times and hangs out with wei ying on the basement sofa

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8. hii!! i recently read a fanfic where wei wuxian can't sleep because he gets horrible nightmares, there's one particular scene where the juniors are practically dragging him into cloud recesses, and he's falling asleep whilst walking and they meet with Lan wangji. if you could help me find it, that would be super great !! @spaaarkie

FOUND? hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (E, 23k, wangxian, Canon Compliant, discussion of canon character death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Getting Together, Yearning, Literal Sleeping Together, Really Excessive Amounts of Hurt/Comfort)

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9. I thought I had subscribed to this fic but I guess not... Looking for a WIP in which WWX is ambushed in Yiling, but he has A-Yuan with him so he's extra desperate in trying to fight the attackers off. There might be fire involved? Either the title, the description or the tags have some reference to "hysterical strength" (maybe! not 100% sure about that one!). Thank you. 🖤❤️ @linderel

FOUND! Hysterical Strength by covalentbonds (Not rated, 3k, WangXian, WIP, Canon Divergence, Inspired by a Bollywood movie scene, Everyone Lives/Nobody dies, Parent WWX)

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10. hi!! i'm looking for a fic i read about a year ago(?) on ao3, where during the cloud recesses study arc (i think?) lqr and the other teachers notice that wwx's basic education is lacking and wwx says it's because yzy doesn't let him join jc's lessons because wwx is supposed to be a right hand man and his education is therefore less important, so the lan elders and scholars all team up to give him remedial lessons; i think there's also a part where they build a case against the jiang sect because the sect scholars failed their responsibility to teach their disciples equally. the fic holding shreds by barisan reminds me of it a little bit, but instead of yzy's physical abuse of wwx the one i'm looking for is all about the emotional abuse and education inequality

FOUND?🔒💖 Hoards and treasures by apathyinreverie (T, 21k, WangXian, Siblings, Family, not particularly Jiang friendly, YZY Bashing, slightly darker Gusu Lans, LXC being the best brother, Some manipulation, But with the best of intentions, and not between wangxian, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Smitten LWJ, Fluff, perfect happiness, adorable WWX, Romance, Some worldbuilding, courting) in this one, Xichen is speculating that WWXs education was stunted, especially in sect etiquette, deliberately by mme yu.

FOUND?🔒 in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, cloud recesses, NHS & LWJ friendship, developing relationship, LWJ pov, minor injuries, autistic LWJ, implied/referenced child abuse, aka YZY warning, genius WWX, light angst, hurt/comfort, WWX protection squad) in this one the lan sect does the scholar case thing where they accuse jiang sect of failing their duties by neglecting to educate wei ying.

~*~

11. hi, i'm looking for a fic which i found on twitter but im sure links to AO3 — basically everyone in the universe is some sort of animal (wwx is a fox, lwj is a dragon?) and they're classified by their mating cycles (whether they mate for life or seasonally). wwx and lwj gets engaged but lwj calls it off as wwx is a fox and therefore mates seasonally vs his for-life situation. wwx gets sad about it and then they find out wwx actually can mate for life! i used to find it easily before but for some reason no matter what i search, it just won't come up and i don't think i was logged into ao3 at the time i read it either. hope someone remembers it as well, thanks!

FOUND? what you have tamed by lianhua_lianzi, Senforza (E, 94k, WangXian, Animal Traits, misunderstandings, Courting Rituals, Pining, Lan family dynamics, Drama, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Arranged Marriage, Wangxian break up but get back together, Eventual Happy Ending, Implied Mpreg, Unresolved Sexual Tension, unintentional and eventually resolved “gaslighting”, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX)

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12. Hi I’m trying to find a fic where jiang Cheng is being forced to get married/find an heir. I remember that a member of YunmengJiang approached him with a list of members of the sect that would leave if he didn’t get an heir. I think it was mentioned that people were okay with him not having getting married since they assumed Jin Ling would inherit and Jin Guangyao would have another child but once his crimes were revealed they started to pressure him.

I know it wasn’t a Jiang cheng/lan Xichen or jiang cheng/nie Huaisang

FOUND? Karma by such_stuff_as_dreams_are_made_on (Not Rated, 2k, JC & OCs, Post-Canon, Arranged Marriage, Light Angst, Minor WangXian, Not JC Friendly)

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13. I’m trying to find this fic where Wei Ying is looking for spouse for some reason and he starts asking everyone in Cloud Recesses but Lan Zhan even ask LXC to be his partner right in front of LWJ

If you have an idea about what I’m talking about thank you!!

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14. so theres this fic in which jiang cheng and wei wuxian sit in a boat in jiang cheng's memories and wei wuxian sings a song that he altered slightly. im pretty sure it was a reconcilliation fic but im not sure but jc was a bit emotional. i can't find it, please help!

related to the previous ask, what i described is also only a scene from that fic and probably not what the entire fic is about. i only remember that one scene. @theartisticdoofus

FOUND? sing to the clouds in summerby stiltonbasket (G, 28k, JC & WWX, JC & JL, wangxian, JL & LSZ & LJY & OYZZ, 13k words of JC figuring out that LSZ is his nephew, ft. LXC and NHS the overprotective uncles, and LWJ giving JC death glares, Family Secrets, Reconciliation, Sad JC, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Podfic Available) the song is in chapter 4

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15. Dear FicFinder Team, here I am again with only vibes and one scene. It was a WIP CQL post-canon fic, set during WWX's wanderings. At some point he exorcises a ghost in a tower (not one of the watchtower fics tho) and the last scene was WWX on his way back, kneeling in the grass to make offerings to his shijie and finally letting himself cry about her death. Maybe there were food descriptions too, I read this very early on and cannot find it in my history. It was exquisitely written too. @kinoumenthe

FOUND? the earth remembered me by remux (T, 30k, WIP, WangXian, POV WWX, Post-Canon, Emotional Edging, Letters, emotional support strangers, Original Character(s), lwj's quiet devotion)

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16. Do you know the name for a fic where WWX is invisible (for some reason) and is in LWJ room (for some reason) and WWX watches LWJ hump a pillow but then LWJ notices that someone is in the room with him yada yada they have sex i forget when it gets revealed that it’s WWX

NOT FOUND! Mak Siccar by therealandraste (E, 20k, WangXian, Case Fic, Post-Canon, Misunderstandings, Pining, Happy Ending, Paperman smut - only god can judge me, Original Character Death(s)) the details don't exactly fit but

FOUND! Clinomania by malkinmalkout (E, 6k, WangXian, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Somnophilia, misuse of talismans, PWP, Riding, Oral Sex, binding, Happy Ending, canon typical non-con)

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17. hello I'm looking for this twitter threadfic written by cerbykerby where wwx is a mermaid captured and brought in for studying by scientist lwj and others, and they eventually become mates. i've tried looking through their account for it but the fic is old and the search is way too far down, and i can't find the full fic. pls help out thanks!

FOUND? this is the unrolled threadfic by cerbykerby, I think

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18. Hi! First time requesting something like this, but I really need help finding this one fanfic. It’s a incomplete wangxian fanfic and the summary of what I remember was that when WWX wakes up in MXY’s body after thirteen years, people are actually praising YL WWX because somehow (I cant remember how) the truth behind his actions and why he did what he did in the first place. JC faces some hate from the cultivation world, JL doesn’t hate WWX, and LWJ is extremely protective of WWX. Hope all this information helps!!! @nikki-g-m

Could #18 be that fic where a painter/theater guy did an interview with drunk wwx during the burial mounds arc and then it got published after his death so that when he resurrects its's all settled already (?). I dont remember the name either but maybe someone else will

FOUND? 💖 The Ballad of Hanguang-Jun and The Yiling Patriarch by Theladyofravenclaw (T, 40k, WangXian, ChengQing, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Burial Mounds Arc, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Humor, musical theater?, Misunderstandings, POV Outsider, Crack treated seriously) The commenter on 18 was thinking of The ballad of Hanguang-jun and the Yiling Patriarch, though idk if this is the fic OP wants

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19. literally just reading a random wangxian fic when I I remembered this one fic I read a while ago. I can’t really remember a lot of details but from what I remember Wei ying is the cloud recess for whatever reason and he get the silencing spell out on him and he panicked and starts scratching and clawing at his throat and everybody’s watching horrified like please y’all help me remember 😭 @saintzx

FOUND?🔒 The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 56k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang Sect Friendly, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad) The clawing is because he's desperate to defend JC against LQR's (rightful) admonishing, after JYL told him he should've tried harder after being silenced on a previous occasion defending JC

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20. Hello

Love your blog!

A) I'm looking for a fic where wwx was raised by WRH, but it is introduced with him being the one to raze Cloud Recess and starting ti flirt with a prisoner LWJ who's very much " bro, wtf" in his inner monologue.

He's bff w Xye Yang and at one point thinks of doing lwj favors

B) Modern au where wwx and lwj had been married, adopted LSZ and then divorced due to someone either framing wwx or LWJs fam pressuring him to it. Wwx still has visitation rights and all, and at one point lwj buys them a house as an apology, but wwx is less than cash money above it, bcs lwj didn't truly fix the mistrust or whatever the reason for their breakup was @midnightlighthowlite

20B)

FOUND? 🔒 Life as a House by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 55k, WangXian, Modern AU, Corporate Espionage, Post-Divorce, Father-Son Relationship, Reconciliation, Therapy)

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21. Hello there, I’m not sure if this is a fic finder or an in the mood for, because I’m looking for a fic and more like that.

So you know how theres this TikTok Sound of someone called Nick who asks for the WLAN Password and its I Love You Nick and Nick is in a lot of denial about being lovers even though their anniversary is coming up?

I found a fic that was basically WY and LZ in a relationship, and WY/LZ (but more likely WY) didn’t realise that they were anything more than friends, and it was very funny.

More comedic than anything else. But I cannot for the life of me find it, and everytime I try and search for it, only the sad version shows up.

Please send help, I need to read this fluff….I crave it. @desperation-is-my-middle-name

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[quillpokebiology]

Millcery and Alcreamie Body Language, Behaviours, and Culture

I love Alcreamie a lot, and I find them very interesting. I genuinely have nothing else to say lol

Body Language & Behaviour

Swaying

I'm sure many Alcreamie trainers have noticed this cute little behavior they do. Alcreamie sway back and fourth for a couple of main reasons: the first one is to better ground themselves if their cream starts slipping, the second is because they are uneasy and checking their surroundingd, the third can actually be a sign that they are content, and the fourth can be a sign that they dont like somethin. It can be difficult to tell the reason why your Alcreamie is swaying, so it's best to look at their expression to check. For example: the yellow Alcreamie is swaying while turning to her side and putting a hand over her mouth, showing that she feels curious about this place and is checking her surroundings.

This Alcreamie is grossed and displeased about something (I showed her broccoli and she no likey 😔)

Spinning

The behaviour that Milcery is most known for. Milcery spin to show that they are very happy and excited. They will often grab something to spin with them, be that a strawberry sweet or a piece of lint they found on the floor. Alcreamie spin too, but Milcery do it a lot more often.

Shaking

A behaviour seen in Milcery, and basically their version of swaying. The shaking is more similar to jiggling, and Milcery do this when their happy or trying to get your attention.

Goop

When Alcreamie feel scared, they will melt into goop. It's not as goopy as you may think, like with ditto, it's more clumping and doesn't go all the way. Think of it like how Dewgong l shrink into themselves. That's the best way I can describe it.

Sweating

Believe it or not, milcer and alcreamie sweat, just like us! Though, it looks a little different. Instead of water, the sweat is the color of their cream and is thicker, which can leave piles of wet cream under them. No, there is a 95% chance your milcery/alcreamie is fine. This is a completely normal behaviour, thought I suggest taking them out of the hot whether or seeing what their stressor is.

Deflating

When sad, bored, or embarrassed, Milcery deflate.

"Jumping"

A hopping motion that Alcreamie do when they want something.

Shaking

Milcery shake when they're happy or trying to tell you something.

Raised Body

Alcreamie raise the cream on their body when they feel surprised or threatened. Think of it like how a meowth arches its back when it's scared.

Courting

Alcreamie prefer to breed asexually, so they don't have many courting behaviours. But when they do find a mate, they'll do things like make them cream, hold their hand (if their partner has a hand), hug them, kiss them, etc. Milcery court similarity, but just don't make their partners cream because they are unable to.

Cream Making

I mentioned that Alcreamie will make cream for their mates, but they also make cream for their groups to reestablish bonds. This extends to their trainers as well. With their trainers, Alcreamie will give them cream they make to get closer to them or to reestablish already made bonds.

Tapping and Slapping

When Milcery/Alcreamie want to be left alone, like when they're being petted when they don't want to, they'll gently tap your hand. If you don't stop petting them, they'll end up giving quick soft slaps to your hand. Pokemon like Meowth and Purloin do this as well.

Zoomies

Milcery get the Zoomies. Alcreamie don't bcuz they're too slow, lol. They get the zoomies when they can't contain the excitement.

Kissing

Milcery/Alcreamie kiss anyone they like to show affection, be that their friends, family, mates, or trainers, most often on the cheek. It feels weird at first (you get frosting in your face), but you get used to it.

Decorating

Alcreamie decorate everything. Decorating id when Alcreamie (specifically Alcreamie, not usually done by Milcery), is when Alcreamie find an object they like, so they make different designs on it using their cream or other items they find. In the wild, they decorate their homes with flowers or their cream (which can bring unwanted bugs), but on the house, this can translate to them decorating their pokeball or their toys. I recommend getting them stickers.

Kneading

You know, like makin biscuits? Alcreamie do s kneading motion on the spot they are trying to get comfortable.

Culture

Groups

In the wild, milcery and alcreamie live in groups with other members of their kind, and this behavoiur extends to captivity as well. If you have a milcery or alcreamie, ir suggest trying to find other trainers with milcery/alcreamie and setting up play dates with them, because they can get lonely without it. Moving on, these groups can range from 10 to 30, with the largest Alcreamie group in recorded history being a group of Alcreamie with 250 members in 1951, Wyndon, Galar. While they prefer Alcreamie, they have been know to except other pokemon into their groups (one time at the center there was a group of 6 Alcreamie who were all in a polygamous relationship, and one male Roselia that decided to join them in their poly. I think about them a lot). A group of Alcreamie can be called a Creamery.

Raising

In milcery/alcreamie groups, they take the "it takes a village to raise a kid" to heart, with the entire group raising them. The mother Alcreamie will provide the young milcery with milk (fun fact: Alcreamie are one of the few non mammalian pokemon that can produce milk), while the other milcery/alcreamie will do the rest; like providing shelter and babysitting.

Naming

Naming is common in pokemon that live in groups. Alcreamie do name themselves and their young, which is just a variable of sounds. It's pretty difficult to know if it means anything since they don't have a written language like Pawniard or Weavile.

Celebrating

Believe it or not, Alcreamie do have gatherings where they celebrate. What they celebrate varies widely. They celebrate for things like food, rain, fertility, or even because it might just be a sunny day. Some researchers believe that Alcreamie could have religious festivals, but there isn't much proof to confirm any of this, let alone if they even know what religion is. They celebrate by singing (it's cute as Hell), dancing, eating, and playing. Usually hold these celebrations in wide open spaces.

Cliques

Yes, Alcreamie groups have cliques, and they work just how you'd expect. Younger Milcery tend to gravitate towards each other, elderly Alcreamie like to have close friends their age, and Alcreamie like to form close friendships with Milcery/Alcreamie with similar interests. It might not seem like much, but this shows that Alcreamie have social learning skills and social cognitive skills as well, which is something to note.

Evolution Parties

This falls into the celebration category, but I'm putting it here because this is going in the order I remember. Unlike a lot of other pokemon who evolve with items (like Raichu or Scizor), Milcery and Alcreamie make finding sweets a big event. When Milcery come of age, a bunch if Alcreamie will gather as many sweets (as in things like strawberry sweets, blueberry streets, clover sweets, etc), take them back to their camp, and lay them out in big organized piles for the Milcery to choose which one they want to evolve with. For Alcreamie, this is seen as a coming of age for growing Milcery who are about to become Alcreamie, a d they celebrate by playing games, eating a lot of food, and friendly battles to test out their newly found strength.

Weddings

You read that right. Alcreamie have weddings. Alcreamie are polygamous, so the wedding can be between 2-6 pokemon (sometimes more). Alcreamie's weddings are celebrated when an Alcreamie and its partner (since their partner isn't always an Alcreamie) will celebrate with their friends and decorate different foods they have gathered. It's not as big of a celebration as human weddings, but it's something.

[sylvia-plaths-fig-pie]

Teach Me ♡ Sam Winchester

Pairing: Sam winchester x reader

Wc: didn't check but it's not too long

Tw: not proof read, no use of y/n, slightly suggestive if you squint ig, mentions of cannon typical violence but not really

Summary: Sam hears you playing piano (listen to the song i imaged bellow), you're so at peace (so beautiful) that he can't help but utter the words "teach me" and that's exactly what you do.

♡♡♡♡♡

For once you Sam and Dean were actually staying in a nice hotel. Yep a hotel not a motel. It was appart of the ruse to be fancy business people, and that included staying in a nice hotel.

While the case was tough and you all had many sleepless nights it turned out to be a simple salt and burn and the ghost was gone.

And that lead you to now, standing in the hotel lobby looking at the beautiful grand piano in front of you.

You used to play piano as a child, your one constant throught the hectic hunting lifestyle growing up was piano, but it had been years since you last actually played. But how you longed to play once more.

That's why you found your self sitting at the stool, your hands tracing the keys as you thought of what to play.

You settled on your favorite 'easy' tune, one that you knew you would never forget; a piano cover of this is love.

And so you played.

And played.

And played.

You were at peace for the first time in a long time. It felt right.

Maybe in another life, if you weren't a hunter, you could have been a professional pianists. If you had proper training, and the time, and a piano all to your self. Yet it wasn't ment to be.

Sometimes you just wanted to leave this life forever, chase your dreams, maybe be a music teacher, have a family or something? That's what normal people do, right?

But you couldn't, or rather you wouldn't, you couldn't leave the Winchesters. Or at least you couldn't leave one spefic Winchester. Of course you cared for Dean as though he was your own older brother, but Sam... you couldn't imagine a life without him. You would do anything for that boy, it terrified you, and yet you stuck by him through everything regardless of the pit in your stomach everytime he was in danger, or the ache in your heart when he looked at you.

Dean made fun of you constantly, always teasing about your sight 'crush' on his brother. He always said Sam felt the same, but you knew that wasn't the case. So you had to settle for looking out for him from afar, being too scared to say anything to make it awkward.

So you played.

And played.

And played.

"Teach me."

You look up from the piano in front of you, coming out of what felt like a trance.

"Teach me." Sam said again, sitting beside you on the tiny piano stool. It clearly wasn't ment for two people to sit on, yet there he was, all 6"4 of him, perched beside you.

You studied him for a second, unsure as to whether he really ment his words or not. It appeared that he actually was in earnest.

At first you wanted to say no. Not because you didn't want to teach him, the opposite really. You didn't know whether you would be able to keep your composure if you had to hold and move Sam's hand in order to teach him.

Just as you were about to come up with some excuse you made the mistake of looking him in the eyes. His eyes, that were already trained on yours, were embodying his 'puppy dog' eyes as you and Dean coined them. Eyes that melted your heart and made it impossible to say no.

"Fine." You rolled your eyes and sighed at Sam, looking away from him. 'Don't make a fool of yourself' you heard yourself saying in your head.

You were just teaching him how to play piano, Sam's a curious guy, there is nothing more to it, no lingering feelings or longing stares (well from him anyways). You were just being a good friend.

That's what you and Sam are. Friends.

"I'll teach you happy birthday since its almost Dean's..." you trailed of catching a glimps of Sam's wide smile from the corner of your eye. "So you need to put your thumb on C."

He didn't move.

You looked at him in the eyes now, raising an eyebrow. First he asks you to teach him, but now he isn't following the very first instructions? You were confused untill-

"I don't know why your looking at me, I don't know which one C is." Sam laughed.

Shit. You'd forgotten about that.

"Oh sorry," you mumbled awkwardly, "it's the one before the two black notes, can I?" You gestured to his hand, signalling to Sam that you wanted to place it in the correct place your self.

"Sure go right ahead," you pretended not to notice his smile growing even wider as you took his hand and rested it in the correct position on top of the piano. Surely his reaction was just in your head, right?

"Wait, I'll put my hand on yours and I'll tap what fingers you need to play the notes, does that make sense." Your explanation was convoluted but Sam just nodded giving you the green light.

You moved to rest your hand on top of his, leaning into him so that your right hand was atop of his right hand.

Blush crept up your neck, you prayed Sam didn't notice. Judging by how focused he was on your hand ontop of his hand, he seemed not to notice.

"Ready?" You questioned.

"Go easy with ne now," he joked, "it's my first time."

"Shut it winchester." You laughed. You loved it when Sam was sassy, he knew it too.

Gently you began to tap his fingers so he played the correct notes.

C C D C F E

C C D C F E

*click*

The sound of a camera stop you, spinning round to see what the source of the noise was.

Dean was stood beside the piano with a with eating grin on his face. "Cheese," he said sarcastically as he pocked his phone.

"Dean what are you-?" You began to ask but he cut you off.

"I'm going to show it to everyone on your guys' wedding day" he said nonchalantly, smirking.

"But we're not-"

"Sam and I aren't-"

"Why would you-?"

"That's so weird to say-"

You and Sam both began talking at the same time. Each of you growing extremely red. Your hands still on top of one another's.

"You both need to cut the bullshit!" He cried shaking his head. And with that Dean turned and left before calling down the hallway, "I'm going to the bar to get drunk, you better have confessed some feelings when I'm back cos I'm suck of hearing you mope about one another to me!"

You and Sam stared at eachother.

Silence.

You wanted to scream, or cry, or run away, just something. But you didn't know what to do. Even if you did, you were frozen. You just stared at Sam, eyes wide, shocked at Dean's outburst.

"Dean's right."

"what...?"

What!?!?

"My whole life I've always wanted to find my person you know." Sams eyes were facing down at the piano key's unable to meet yours. "And I thought I found people in the past, but all of them... well you know what happened."

Did Sam know about your silly crush? Did Dean tell him? You were going to kill him.

Or did he mean.... no he couldn't, could he? Could Sam really reciprocate your feelings. You swalled down the thought, not wanting to get your hopes high for nothing.

That's when Sam began to speak once again.

Of course you knew what happened. He'd told you in a moment of vulnerability in one of the first nights that to spent all night talking while researching a case. You knew eachother inside and out. You knew eachother darkest and deepest secrets. You knew eveything about eachother.

"And since then I've been so scared," he continued, "scared that if I got close to anyone that they would end up the same. Then you happened. We met you on a hunt and you've stuck with us ever since and I kept being drawn to you, and I hated myself for it. I wanted to keep you far away to protect you, but the more I wanted to protect you the more I wanted to..."

He trailed off and took in a large intake of breath, lifting his eyes with determination to meet yours.

"The more I wanted to be closer to you, the more I wanted to hold you to be there for you.. to kiss you." His eyes momentarily flicking down to your lips, your breath hitched.

"The more I relised I was in love with you, that I am in love with you." He flipped his hand so that he was now holding yours, lacing his fingers between yours. You didn't speak, you knew he had more to say and you were more that happy to listen. Your brain was going a hundred miles an hour, Sam's words were simultaneously grounding you and making your brain go into overdrive, but his hand holding yours assured you that this was real. This moment is real. It's real.

"So I talked to Dean about it, about you, alot and I've finally stopped fighting it. I know you can take care of yourself, and I know your not afraid of the risks of this job, the risks of being near me, as you've lived through so many horrors with me, you were by my side though everything and I don't think I can go on any longer without you knowing, I could never forgive myself for letting you get away..." He stopped speaking, he said what he wanted to. It was your turn to speak now. Yet you couldn't find the words, they all seemed lodged in your throat. You wanted to say it back but you couldn't, all you could do was look at Sam, your eyes wide.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't-" Sam began, trying to make you feel comfortable, he was worried you didn't feel the same. He wasn't aware that it was complete opposite reason as to why you couldn't speak. But you cut him off with a new found confidence.

"I swear to god Sam if you don't kiss me right now." You pleaded, avoiding his eyes.

A moment passed. Then you felt his hand leave yours. Panic surged through you. Oh god what had you done?

Then his hands were on your face and his lips found yours. You closed your eyes falling deeper and deeper into him, you were intoxicated, you couldn't get enough. His lips were rough and soft, neddy and patient all at the same time. It was so much, it would be too much, but it wasn't, it was perfect.

It felt like you and Sam were the only two people in the world. It felt right. All the horrors of life, all the monsters, demons, angels, eveything, none of it mattered in that moment. Nothing but the two of you existed in that moment.

And then all too soon he pulled away.

"I'm assuming you feel the same way?" He asked almost bashfully, redness creeping up his neck.

"Sam winchester, I love you and all your dorky-ness," you dramatically declared as Sam rolled his eyes, "and i-"

You were cut off by his lips finding yours once again. You were just where you wanted to be and for once the world seemed right, or at least it seemed okay with same by your side, or more accurately Sam's lips on yours.

"FINNALLY!"

You and Sam jumped away from one another, startled by a loud cry.

Dean was stood at the bottom of the corridor, his arms raised in the air in a sort of celebration.

"TOOK YOU BOTH LONG ENOUGH!"

You and Sam just looked and eachother and began to laugh.

"I guess he does have a point..." you commented between laughter.

"Yeah I guess that means we have to make up for lost time." He laughed, resting his hands in your hair.

"What do you mean?" You asked, playing along, ot was much more fun this way.

"Well I suppose I can think of a few things..." he trailed of suggestively, "what do you say?"

You smiled at him knowing exactly what he ment, and couldn't help but reply with what lead to this moment.

"Teach me."

[kayhi808]

Now & Then 2

Thank you again to @armystrong980 for such a brilliant idea. 😘 Hope you enjoy this.

Propped up in a chair, blonde head leaning against the wall behind him, legs stretched out in front of him crossed at the ankles, Steve hasn't left the Med Bay since they've revived you. You've yet to awaken, but its only a matter of time. Still unable to believe that he found you in that HYDRA facility and was able to bring you home with him.

The steady beeping of your heart monitor assures him this isn't a dream and that this is real. Steve's concern is that if you'll remember him or not. He doesn't think his heart could handle it if you didn't remember him either. All this time he's been without a family and now you and Bucky were alive yet still out of reach.

A soft moan comes from your bed & he's immediately at your side. He frowns at the restraints they had to put you in. He saw the scars at your wrists and ankles from previous restraints. You start moving your arms & legs, but there's very little give. These he know won't hurt you but it doesn't relieve the anger he feels. Your breath picks up & your heart monitor speeds. Steve slips your hand into his. "It's ok, Y/N. You're safe. I got you." He rhythmically brushes his thumb across your knuckles.

He can tell you're struggling to regain consciousness by your ragged breathing, the furrowing of your brow & the frown on your lips. "You're ok, Y/N. You're doing so well. You're safe. Open your eyes for me. Please. Please wake up for me."

Your eyes flutter open & its a sight Steve thought he'd never see again. Looking into the eyes of his Soul Twin. His joy quickly evaporates with the look of terror on your face. Your struggle against the restraints increases. "Hey, you're safe, Y/N. Y/N! Please Y/N." You squeeze your eyes shut turning your head away from him, letting out screams that shake Steve to his core. It's primal & wounded & a sound he NEVER wanted to hear coming out of you. He releases your hand & steps away. You start sobbing & a team of medics & guards enter. You start screaming again, turning and twisting in your restraints trying to escape. Your terrified eyes lock onto Steve's & without saying a word, Steve gets between you and the medics.

"Captain Rogers?"

"All of you are upsetting her more. I can handle her. She isn't a threat."

******

The man got the scientist w/ syringes & agents with guns to leave the room. He kept them from hurting you. He goes to the door after they leave & flips the lock, "See? They won't come back in, ok?" Your eyes track him as he crosses the room to the foot of your bed. He slowly reaches for your foot and you try to jerk it back. "Take it easy." he holds up his hands. "I'm going to take these off, ok?" You nod. He starts to unbuckle the restraint and you try to pull your leg free early & his hand clamps down on your calf, "Hey! Don't kick me." His hold is firm but not punishing. You relax & nod again. Watching his every move. You like his voice, but something about it bothers you. It makes you sad.

As the last restraint is unbuckled, you pull your legs up to your chest, sitting the furthest away from him. He slowly backs away to lean against the door. His eyes are so full of sadness as he watches you, you actually feel bad for him. You don't understand what's happening. "Thank you," you softly whisper & he nods & gives you the saddest smile. You frown. The sound of his voice makes your brain itch. It's like a memory? Something you've forgotten. You bring up your hands & bury it in your hair, trying to relieve the "itch".

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" He now stands at the foot of your bed. "Talk to me and I can help you. I promise."

"Your voice."

"What about my voice?"

Tugging at your hair before releasing it. "It makes my brain itch & my heart...it makes my heart hurt."

You see excitement in his eyes & you don't know why, "Please....please trust me for just a little while. Close your eyes & just listen to my voice." He backs up all the way to the door again. Trying to make you feel safe to close your eyes while he's still in the room.

"W...what are you going to do??"

"Nothing. I swear. I'd NEVER hurt you." Pressing himself up against the door. "I won't move from this spot." You take a deep breath & nod while letting your eyes drift close. "Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a young Prince Steven whose world made him ill. Until one day, he met a lost fairy in the woods who said she could help him if he could find her pet dragon. They would fly the dragon to her home & the young prince would never get sick there..."

"Stevie," you barely breath out, tears sliding down your cheeks. It's the story you created to entertain him while he was too sick to go outside and play. It's his voice. The voice of your best friend. You open your eyes. All you can do is stare at the man at the door. Shaking your head. "Who are you?" He looks nothing like your 5'4", 90lb best friend.

"Steve Rogers."

Your eyes rake him from head to toe. "Not possible."

"It's me, Y/N." He walks closer to your bed & kneels down by your bedside. "Look beyond all...this." His hands sweeping over his face & body. "You have to remember me." His blue eyes. Oh so familiar blue eyes, bright with unshed tears. "We're Soul Twins." He gives a weak laugh at the term you bestowed on yourselves at the age of 6. He reaches out & touches the faint scar on your chin. "You got that the day we met Bucky."

At the mention of Bucky's name, your heart breaks remembering your time with HYDRA and you sob unconsolably. You reach out to Steve & he immediately takes you in his arm and you let him. You have your best friend, but a new fear grows. Will Steve ever forgive you for how HYDRA used you against Bucky?

*****

Over the next few months, you stay with Steve at the Avenger's compound. In the beginning your days were spent being interrogated...questioned about your time with HYDRA. You opened up about Bucky, and to your surprise, Steve wasn't mad at you. In the beginning, HYDRA would get Bucky to comply with their orders or you would suffer the consequences. Bucky wouldn't resist them. He'd do anything to keep you safe. But then, if he'd fail a mission, they would punish you. They controlled Bucky by using you.

As their technology got better, they started wiping his memory and would have full control. You went back to tending & healing their Super Soldiers. It'd break your heart when Bucky would be sent to you & he wouldn't recognize you. You loved this man since you were both children. They treated him atrociously! You couldn't work on him without crying. You would pretend that deep down, he still remembered you. He knew you under the stoic soldier facade. You had to believe that.

It didn't take long for you and Steve to be caught up with each others lives. You were inseparable again. He helped you try to assimilate into the world today. Helping you, made him feel not so alone. He knows the struggles you suffer through because he went through that or is even still going through it.

******

It was a beautiful day, for such a somber event. Peggy Carter's funeral. Steve had taken you many times to the Care Home to visit with Peggy. Steve's love. It angered you at how HYDRA had a hand at destroying all your lives. You. Steve. Peggy. Bucky.

You and Sam were by Steve's side though the funeral, but he was now visiting with Sharon Carter, so you and Sam decide to get drinks at the hotel bar. Of all the Avengers, you get along best with Sam. You were arguing over something ridiculous when you see the TV above the bar, breaking news of a bomb explosion in Geneva. Then a picture of Bucky as the Winter Soldier is up on the screen. "Sam." nodding up at the TV. Throwing some money on the bar, he grabs your hand & pulls you out of the bar to hunt for Steve.

*****

Sharon was able to give Steve a heads up on Bucky's location. Him and Sam are getting ready to leave for Bucharest. "I'll have a car pick you up & return you to the Compound."

"What? No! I'm going with you to find Bucky," frowning at Steve.

"Y/N, it's too dangerous. I'm not taking you to Romania."

"Hon, this isn't going to be the Bucky you remember," Sam trying to gently let you down.

"I know! This is Soldat. He knows ME, not YOU. Who do you think he'll listen to? He'll trust me. We don't have time to argue about this. Sharon & the CIA have orders to shoot on sight. Please, Steve."

Growls, "Fine, get in," shoves you into the car. "But you will do exactly what I say. No questions asked. Is that understood?"

You salute, "Yes, Captain!" Sam laughs & Steve glares at you. You don't care, as long as he takes you with them. You needed to see Bucky. You'd promise whatever you had to.

@severelykinky @elijahssuit @ordelixx @moonlovefairy @cjand10 @vicmc624 @marianastudiesart @thefandomplace @longlivedelusion @snowkestrel @insomiax @babybreathbabes @k-marzolf @danzer8705

[aforestescape]

ghoap x gn!reader

inspired by soaps mic collar. id love to make that man whimper. also i’m a simon lover at heart if you didn’t know:)

you’re all a few drinks in at the pub, listening to simon bicker on with kyle about some reality show they’d been watching. curtesy the influence of introducing them to your cousins who loved a snarky drama show. if you knew it would have led to heated conversations while you’re busy trying to get drunk, you probably wouldn’t have done it.

you and john share a look of stilted amusement before taking another gulp of your drink. eyes fleeting over the crowded bar until they land on johnny up at the counter. one well defined arm leaned against the counter, far too big for the tight shirt he’s sporting. that award winning grin on his face as he chats with some bloke next to him. you keep your eyes on them, taking a drink again to wash away the feelings that try to surface.

you were the newest addition to the group. somehow you’d ended up staying along with the four men. it wasn’t something you were used to, team dynamics. sticking to one place for so long to actually find yourself enjoying the company of your teammates. you’d always been an expendable asset. more of a freelancer to help assist other teams missions from the sidelines. but you’d found it hard to want to leave after the months long mission you’d been assigned to with 141.

you’d always been intuitive and from the moment you first met them all you could feel something settling inside of you. a small inkling in the back of your mind that you had time to get used to these people. so when the assignment ended and you sat across from price in his office going over last minute paperwork you couldn’t find yourself regretting agreeing to another mission with them.

the added bonus to the camaraderie, the playful banter and dynamics that felt closer to family than that of coworkers was just how attractive they were. simons cold indifference was similar to you in some ways, it’s the type of men you’d gone for in the past. ones who’s shells needed to be slowly cracked open before you could get a glimpse of what might be inside. it was all too easy to give dry laughs back to his terrible dad jokes. to make sure you kept your voice low when you talked to him, fingers moving in rusty form to talk back with him.

he didn’t like speaking. he could, of course. he had to when they were out on the field, during the times when they had to go, go, go with enemies right down the corridor, chasing them down. but when they were back on base, even on nights like tonight he’d be quiet for so long his voice would be hollower than normal when he finally spoke.

and you couldn’t possibly not have noticed the way he looked at johnny. their dynamic felt untouchable to you. how easily they fell into kilter with each other. the way simons eyes always tracked the mohawked man had your eyes following along. wanting to catch a glimpse of the man he saw. maybe a few weeks ago you wouldn’t have understood so much why his gaze felt like it could burn you in proximity.

but now you could. you’re sure your gaze burned just as hard as your eyes stayed on johnny.

johnny was smart, no denying it. he was analytical and loved to run probabilities with you. on the days following your post mission you’d end up sitting next to each other and he’d ask your thoughts on the people passing by. you figured he only sat still long enough because you entertained him as he quickly divulged into ramblings on how the stranger walking by was running late to his meeting since he found the missus’ with the neighbor. he supported her though since the guy was obviously a wanker, look at his scarf.

it’s not until he’s back at the table, drink in hand that he got for free and grinning at you that you decide that professionalism isn’t enough to stop you from what you want. he takes his seat next to you, thick thighs brushing yours as he goes off on a story about what just happened with the guy. you suppose it might be funny because the rest of the group laugh at what he says but your eyes are glued to his neck.

ignoring the rest of the group you lean over to him slightly, cold fingers from touching your drink grazing his neck as you touch the black leather choker round his neck. fingertips slipping past the fabric to hook it in your grasp before tugging on it.

“you like being collared johnny? why’re you still wearing this.”

your eyes track the swallow of his adams apple, trailing up to catch his tongue swipe over his lips and the blue of his eyes.

“can’t take it off myself,” he says, voice quieter than normal. you raise an eyebrow, mind processing as simon picks up to respond.

“i’ve got the key. you wan’ him you’ll have to ask nicely.”

wrote this a while ago but i wasn’t happy with it so it sat in my drafts. i had a passing in my family recently so my post are probably going to be even more sparse soz

[sailorblossoms]

In awtwb, we see Simon take his cues from Baz – he doesn't know how to be in a loving relationship (outside of friendship) and doesn't know how to express romantic love or sexual attraction.

We see Simon slowly learn from Baz, picking up what Baz puts down (making progress in bed when he switches his focus to "pleasing Baz") or identifying the things Baz does for or to him that he likes, and trying to do them for Baz. "I like the way Baz constantly checks on my well-being, you think that could be annoying, but it makes me so happy I wish I always had this..." after reading Baz being Simon's rock, the shoulder Simon leans on for a whole book... we see Simon doing the same thing for Baz in SFC. We see Simon start to use pet names for Baz after Baz has been using them with Simon since they got together, so we can infer that Simon likes when Baz calls him love and darling (and he would, since he insistence on being called Simon and not Snow comes from wanting to feel closer for Baz, since he was used to associating Snow with their distance)... but it doesn't end there. Or rather, it didn't start there...

On their very first meeting, Baz holds back while Simon can't resist the incredible pull he feels towards him. Much can be said about their meeting, about how much it says about the characters and the way they act about their feelings for the other, once they become aware of what those feelings actually are, but I don't want to get sidetracked here. Simon is someone who refuses to process (and so isn't used to analyzing himself or his feelings, or knowing what he wants outside of the very obvious – that being "I want a family, stability, to belong"), who needs something to guide his actions at all times... and so would be used to react to what he thinks other people are putting down. It's a survival instinct.

I think Simon has always been taking his cues from Baz.

When Simon first meets Baz, it's a moment characterized by an irresistible pull, an unbearable pain that can only be soothed by touching Baz. That's how loving Baz feels like for Simon. That's how attraction feels. It's painful to not be able to touch Baz (he will pick fights not just for his attention, but because is the only way he knows how to touch him... note how quickly Simon escalates in his touches in less than 24 hours once the truce begins). And Baz reaction to Simon in that first meeting? He's feeling the same things too, and yet, he restrains himself. While such control can awake certain admiration, his restraint in the face of such intense feelings can also feel like a rejection. Why else wait to hold Simon's hand? Maybe he just doesn't want to touch him at all, maybe he sees Simon as beneath him – which is something Simon could feel and internalize on a subconscious level, even before Baz starts acting in ways that Simon feels like it’s saying that more blatantly (which is part molded behavior and part of a wall – when Simon is like "Baz is the most arrogant person I know" I think Baz was very much exaggerating that shit around Simon, but that's another post)

This sets the tone for their future interactions. I'll never stop saying this because I'm not a bitch easily fooled by unreliable narrators with unprocessed homosexual thirst: Simon has always been following Baz around. It's just the intensity with which he follows him that varies. In one way or another, he always found him interesting and mysterious and enthralling... I also always say Simon is the obvious one between the two of them – he doesn't know, but his behavior betrays him (when Agatha and Penny both figure out in hindsight that Simon's behavior towards Baz has been gay behavior for years... it's them mostly looking back at Simon's behavior, they didn't know Baz like that back then). Baz is way better at hiding himself, and the defenses he employs are thorny. His walls have barbed wires at the top. When Baz looks unimpressed by Simon, but his behavior makes Simon think he's absolutely despised? Simon lashes out – Baz is a(n incredibly fit) creep only capable of making 2 or 3 expressions >:c (yeah, I picture Simon making that face, like he's pouting... because he is! Mr. "I know you're alive because I have been observing your soul" doesn't truly believe this shit). When Baz looks unimpressed by Simon, but his behavior makes Simon think Baz loves and wants him? A turn on, actually. Baz’s resting bitch face makes Simon want to climb him like a tree and suck his face. The difference is in what Simon is picking up from Baz (even if other things also come into play)... that has always been the case, I think. He's not free of impulses (he's full of them, actually) but a lot of his behavior centers on what he thinks (or assumes) (whenever he assumes we have problems) he's getting from Baz.

[dollywheeler]

October 23th, 1996

Dear diary,

Let’s see - the last few days have kind of been a blur.

I don’t think I did anything particularly interesting, just following my routine - same old same old. I had to spend all of Sunday catching up on my homework, so nothing special happened there. Mike let me take his old guitar home, though, and the reading for English class is going a lot better now I can alternate chapters of Walden with a moment of playing music. My Oasis tape has been running non-stop.

Cheer practice is going fine - the routines are a bit easier now so I’m having less trouble. I try to practice the harder ones as often as possible, but I still haven’t found a solution for practicing the jumps on my own.

Oh! I almost forgot - On Sunday, I watched Dracula! Danny recommended it and I wanted to watch something while finishing my homework. It was too good - I had to pause it and rush to finish my homework so I could watch it properly; This is exactly why I usually play something I’ve already seen.

I wish we could have watched it together though, but we’ve both been so busy we’ve barely had the chance to spend time together. Whenever he doesn’t have basketbal practice, I have cheer or babysitting, or he has to work at the diner. Mrs. Benson is doing a lot better, at least, so I don’t have to go over as often. Danny joins us for lunch most days, though, and I try to come to the diner as much as possible - it’s nice, just being able to talk to him, even if it’s in snippets between him serving the other customers. Christy doesn’t seem to mind it too much, either, as long as Danny doesn’t leave anyone waiting for too long.

Still, I hope we can go on an actual date again soon.

Mom already hinted at having him over for dinner and I’m… Not sure how to feel about that.

I mean, Danny’s great and I’m sure Dad will like him - I already know mom does because she can’t stop raving about our homecoming pictures. She went to pick them up from the developer on Monday and though I do look terrible in a lot of them, there’s some really cool pictures as well - ANYWAY, what I was trying to say (write? Whatever) was that it feels weird to have him over for dinner with the family.

I was too young to remember the first time Jonathan joined us for dinner - if he ever did before they both went off to college - so it’s not like I can look to my older sister for an example.

Lord knows Mike never brought a girl home.

What I’m trying to say is - I have no idea how Mom and Dad are gong to act. Especially dad - there’s a big enough gap between me and Nancy that I’m sure dad is going to have to get used to his daughter dating all over again.

I might call Nancy and ask for advice - if she has the time, of course. She’s so busy lately running all over the place. When I called on Saturday she said they’d be coming back to the US on Tuesday, but it wouldn’t be the first time their stay got extended. I’ll probably just wait on her to call over the weekend, just in case.

I don’t know what else to write about really, but I’m at the diner and a table in the back is staring at me. I don’t know why - I know their faces but not their names. Pretty sure one used to be the school’s librarian before he retired a few years ago. I see him and the woman he’s talking to around town sometimes, walking dogs, or here at the diner drinking coffee and gossiping as they are now. Most residents always follow everything going on around them, and I’m sure they recognise me in turn from seeing me around one too many times, but today I swear they’ve been looking at me specifically for way too long.

So, I took out my diary and started writing so it seems like I’m not bothered and can’t hear what they’re saying.

It’s strangely unsettling. I don’t know - they seem judgemental, and I feel judged, though for the life of me I can’t figure out why. I’m not doing anything different. I don’t look anything different - I’m not wearing anything special. Sure, I’ve been talking to Danny a lot because it’s so calm today, but it’s not like we’re being particularly loud.

Pretty sure I just heard them say “the Byers kid” - which is strange, because a, I’m not a Byers, and b, I’m not my brother - hell, we don’t even look alike.

I didn’t even realise they knew who I was, let alone who my brother’s friends are. Anyway, it’s weird how hung-up they are about Mike and Will’s return to Hawkins - I mean, it’s been more than two months, and they were only gone for - what? Seven? Ish? Years? I don’t even know.

I guess that’s the one downfall from living in a small town.

Most of the time it’s an advantage - like havig to go to the post office during the summer and getting to chat with Dylan while she works, or feeling completely at home in a diner because you know every face there. It’s nice knowing your neighbours and your neighbour’s neighbours in turn.

Like last week, with Mrs. Benson, I heard soooo many stories about the people around town. And sure, it’s gossip which isn’t always nice, but more often than not it’s just keeping everyone updated. It’s how we all show we care - how else would Mom know who’s in desperate need of a casserole or a plate of cookies?

That sounds like a hyperbole or whatever - Mike would probably know the perfect term - but it’s more relevant than one might think.

Plenty people don’t know to ask for help - like Mrs. Benson - and they’re just waiting on people to offer it.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from mom, is that more often than not overbearing is just bearing enough.

Anyway, Daniel and his mom are new to town too, but no one’s talking about that anymore either. Now I think about it, it is weird that people seem more hung-up about them than Danny. I mean, Danny and his mom are total outsiders - even if they only came from a few towns over - but at least Mike and Will are known strangers. They came back, which isn’t unheard of.

Mr. Howard, our PE teacher, for example, moved back in his thirties to take care of his ailing father. His father is still kicking around, by the by, even though he’s been back for almost twenty years now. Anyway, even though he’d been gone for seventeen years, everyone acted like he’d simply never left.

Max’ mom, on the other hand, still often gets reminded that she’s not from here, though it’s less obvious because the residents of the trailer park are used to people coming and going more than Suburbians, and also because she at least was here for ’86.

Now I think about it, it’s bothering me more and more.

I’ve always felt like I’m missing something - it’s often clear mom and Mike are talking around me - but I always just assumed it’s them being weird about Mike’s degree. That’s the one thing dad brings up sometimes when it’s about Mike, right before mom sends him a warning glare with pointed eyes at me. I don’t know - I get dad wanted us to do something practical, or at least, Mike, because dad has plenty of opinions on Nancy’s career as well. But he’s from a previous time, and honestly why Nancy wants to work so bad, I don’t understand.

Anyway, this took a turn.

I really keep getting carried away with these things.

The people are still there, but they seemed to have moved on conversationally, and it’s about time I head home anyway. I’m just going to say goodbye to Daniel and get going so I’m back in time for dinner.

Love, Holly

[willgrahamsadface]

At the end of S01E04 ("Oeuf") when Alana finds Abigail at Hannibal's house, and she enters the dining room asking "You were expecting me?", Hannibal should have answered:

Meaning that he had all the thing pulled out for Will to be there and play family, drugging Abigail in order for her to see them as her mum and dad. Will at this point identifies as Garrett Jacob Hobbs, so he would be the father. Which leaves Hannibal to be the mother, one of the central themes of this episode.

Not just for Abigail: earlier, when Hannibal asked Will about his family, he found out Will has never experienced a mother figure. That could represent an explanation of why Will feels so drawn towards Hannibal's attentions, like showing up with homemade breakfast at Will's motel room, taking care of his dogs (and he lives in Baltimore, so more than an hour drive - a normal thing to ask your psychiatrist), or the affectionate and indulgent way Hannibal reacts to Will's naughty child behaviour ("I don't find you that interesting", "How does it make you feel?", "Some lazy psychiatry, Doctor"). Not to mention everything Hannibal does after discovering Will was abandoned by his mother (all the reassuring, touching, the chicken soup, etc.).

But he's not actually trying to deceive him. That's the way Hannibal shows his real affection: cooking, caring for, protecting (as he did with Mischa), enveloping the object of his attention in an unconditional - and toxic - bubble of love, like there's no one else in the world he cares about. An exclusive love, that tolerates no external intrusions.

And that's why Will, an introvert person that basically trusts no one, ends seeking Hannibal's comfort in every stressful situation, showing up at his house or office at inappropriate times of the day anannounced just because he feels confused about his actions (after kissing Alana) or worried (the sleepwalking episode). Sometimes even unconsciously.

Who do we trust so much? Someone we know that will love us unconditionally, without judging us: a mother. Will's need is perfectly matched with Hannibal's attachment pattern.

[ultratradmalewife]

MY BUCKTOMMY PLAYLIST

SONG TWO: someone that i used to be by Joy Oladokun

COMMENTARY: I made a post probably days ago (weeks maybe, depending on when this is posted) about how I had found the perfect Tommy Kinard song, and the song in question is this one. Joy Oladokun is an artist who expressed her sorrow and triumph about being queer and growing up in a non accepting setting in her 2021 album in defense of my own happiness, and as a gay man it’s been an album that’s been stuck in the back of my mind since it’s release. Everything about the song reminds me of Tommy Kinard and how he made himself into a smaller molded image of hatred under Gerard. He not only had to leave the place that reminded him of the worst version of himself, but he also had to unlearn all his toxic behavior that shielded him, all while battling to accept himself and stumbling his way through his new life as a gay man. As for Buck, I wasn’t planning on adding him to this song at all, but I scrapped the song that I had planned for him because it doesn’t feel like his vibe (I headcanon him only listening to whatever is popular at the time, and I don’t think Little Dreamer by Van Halen falls under that category). It actually felt more Tommy, but that’s beside the point. I changed my mind about including Buck when I payed more attention to the second verse. Buck is a character that’s had to untangle himself from the habit of putting himself in danger, as that’s the only way his parents payed him attention, but now as he’s maturing he’s realizing he doesn’t have to do that anymore, because he created a family for himself that’s there for him regardless of his state of being. He’s also been more open to receiving whatever life has to offer him since the lightning strike, and it makes for an exciting character that’s full of possibility and potential. So in the end I felt the song can fit him too. It’s a song about self forgiveness and self acceptance, and hoping those two things are enough to continue carrying you through life.

ABOUT THE EDIT: Okay, so I slightly hate myself. As I said this record is one that’s been close to me since it’s release, so I’ve listened to it so so so so so much. It’s actually part of another story playlist of mine that’s space themed too. Something about those opening strings just make me feel like I’m above the Earth and observing humanity. It’s a nice feeling and image, but I know art can have more than one interpretation, and I so badly wanted to shake this image off and head in a different aesthetic (maybe cathedral theme but that makes no sense for these characters, and that’s probably what Joy had in mind when making the song). It seems habit has won though, since I ended up making it into a vintage space journey, but regardless I’m actually a bit proud of how this one turned out. Not bad for a boy with no talent.