#so there is trauma around that as well
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The Blackbeak Matron is a brutal woman with not an ounce of love to any of her offspring. I don’t imagine her being kind to Lothian— like, she was her Heir, her training is harder and more brutal than what other witches would undergo.
Despite that harshness and brutality, Lothian was nothing like her. She she just couldn’t quell that side of her daughter: she was kind, warm and full of hope. The Matron couldn’t change that.
I think that what Lothian did, mating with a Crochan prince of all people and believing that the child they conceived would bring peace to their people is what tipped the Matron over the edge.
Killing her daughter soon after giving birth, she decided that she’d been too soft. Something she will not do with her granddaughter, her new Heir.
This is why I believe that Manon endured worse shit from the Matron than anyone did before. Her grandmother simply didn’t want to risk her being soft, like her mother, and made sure that Manon would not even recognize that.
This is the reason why Manon has a hard time with emotions because she wasn’t taught these things. All she knows is brutality and the different ways she can kill people. She endured a lot at the hands of her grandmother but because of that upbringing, she just carried on without giving anything a second thought.
But deep down, Manon is Lothian’s daughter. No matter how brutal the Matron got, no matter how harsh she was, she couldn’t change that. I think she realized that all she did didn’t fully kill whatever kindness might have been passed down to Manon when she picked Abraxos to be her wyvern. I believe it was that moment the Matron realized that despite everything she did, there was no changing that.
It didn’t stop her. Because she got worse. From that moment, she decided to use those feelings against Manon. Punish her for her compassion by threatening to take away everything she loves. It’s mainly the reason she kept targeting Asterin, and forcing Manon to be the one who does these things because at the end of the day, Manon still seeks her approval. She will do anything if it gets her noticed by her grandmother and this is why the Matron kept using Asterin against her. It was something Manon would want to avoid, but it will always be there: one mistake and it’s her cousin’s life. This way, the Matron had full control over Manon and ensured that she’d never rebel against her.
This is a woman who never displayed an ounce of love or affection to her granddaughter. Honestly she probably started Manon’s training early on, not taking the chance to turn her ‘soft’. I believe she prohibited anyone from coddling the Heir. She wouldn’t allow anyone to show her any affection or any display of love. Those who did, lost their lives.
Honestly, when Yrene hugged Manon during that scene? I knew she was going to freeze and not do anything. Because she doesn’t recognize the gesture, she has no idea what it means or how to respond so she just froze.
#booklr#books and reading#throne of glass#manon blackbeak#tog#asterin blackbeak#empire of storms#kingdom of ash#dorian havilliard#manorian#lothian blackbeak#manon x dorian#tristan crochan#blackbeak matron#evil evil woman#there was no line that she didn’t cross with Manon because she didn’t want her to be like her mother#the thought of what Manon had endured from birth until she was over a hundred years old is soul crushing#im just glad she’s with Dorian#he’s so loving and affectionate and he’s there to show her love and be there for her#he can help her recognize those different emotions and how to deal with them#but I also think that Manon would be highkey terrified of displaying these emotions#because she was never allowed to feel them and if she did she got punished for it#so there is trauma around that as well#like if she expresses a single feeling she’d panic and just retreat into herself#my girl had tones of ptsd from her grandmother#she needs a lot of therapy honestly#and Dorian#Dorian is the supportive boyfriend who will try to reward those emotions when they (finally) show#in hopes that this will override the bad memories#not likely but it doesn’t stop him
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“Women and non-binary people” stop. Do you mean people with marginalized genders? Do you mean gender-oppressed people? Then say that. Stop refusing to recognize the very much gendered oppression of other trans people. There’s not some chasm of difference between how our oppressors treat a very masc non-binary person and a more binary trans man. I’m also non-binary and very much oppressed for my gender but because I’m transmasculine I could never feel comfortable in a space that marketed itself like that. Tell me what the real harm is of letting gender-oppressed mascs into spaces discussing gender oppression is. Because the consequence of not doing so is denying them space for their experiences just because of their gender identity. Do better.
#‘’but 🥺 we don’t want men in our spaces 🥺’’ why. these men are oppressed for their gender identity & expression.#‘’well some people have trauma around men’’ some people have trauma around women too. should we keep them out of queer spaces#‘’their appearance might make someone uncomfortable’’ are you also keeping out cis women butches and trans women who aren’t hyper femme#because if so your space has serious problems and you are the one making gender-oppressed people uncomfortable#so many trans women are wary of these spaces because they police perceived masculinity. so how abt stop doing that#transandrophobia#intracommunity issues tag#mine
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bruce 'tired single dad' wayne: *lecturing jason once again on something he did during a fight*
jason 'theatre kid extraodinare'' todd who immediately starts fake crying on the spot: do you just not love me anymore?
#dc comics#dc universe#dcu#batman#red hood#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#bruce thomas wayne#jason todd#jason peter todd#jason was never the angry robin#yeah bruce is weak to his children crying but especially jason#if jason can puke on command you best believe he can convincingly fake cry too#what's the point of having trauma if you can't use it to stop your dad from lecturing you?#bruce folds on the spot when jason cries which is why jason doesn't cry that often (jason doesn't want his secret weapon to lose effect)#most of the time jason just owns up to the things he did#so there really isn't any point in lecturing him because jason doesn't care about consequences#the first time jason fake cried in front of bruce after his death he was shocked at how it still worked#the reason why it works so well is because bruce thought jason was dead for around four years and grieved him for so long
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danny and officer martinez's relationship in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" in a nutshell:
Martinez: FREAK! GET YOUR FUCKING KID!
Battinson, on the other side of the crime scene: he don't bite
Martinez, with Nightingale firmly attached his arm, visibly biting him: YES HE DO!
*points at them* Danny is the Bugs Bunny to Martinez's Elmer Fudd.
Another Officer: i can't believe you're fighting with an actual twelve year old. Martinez: i swear to god that is not a twelve year old, that is a little hellion that crawled out of batman's shadow one dark and stormy night and decided to dedicate his existence to tormenting me. Officer: Are you really that mad about him putting a sticky note on your back-- Martinez: thats not the point
in danny's defense: the word "freak" is. a mini beserker button for him for.... obvious ghostly reasons, so like, even if its not directed at him, he still very much unappreciates Martinez's insults at Battinson. Danny may or may not be projecting.
he's not going to hurt the guy! not in any serious or permanently disfiguring way at least! But he is going to leave mean sticky notes on the square part of his spine that he can't reach, and stick salt in his 3AM Late Night Crime Scene Coffee, and kick the bottom of his heel while he's walking so he stumbles. And other petty, infuriating things that tally up and boil over, over time.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#blood blossom au#dpxdc memes#dpxdc au#the only thing martinez is right about is the fact that danny is. in fact. NOT twelve.#he's just shrimpy because he's half-dead#there's eventually a 'martinez vs nightingale' board in the precinct called the beef board. it tallies every time one of them gets got by#the other. danny is currently in the lead by a wide margin. martinez is very limited in what he can do bc of multiple reasons. but one#of them is the fact that batman HAS punched a cop before. three actually. and he won't hesitate to punch another if martinez actually did#anything to harm nightingale. and also nightingale shows up so rarely and doesnt stick around long enough for martinez to retaliate#or properly plan ahead. its kinda a wild card whether or not nightingale pops up on the scene.#nightingale: i am just a little guy!! the littlest of boy!! baddabing-baddaboom! you wouldn't do nothin to a little guy would'ya?#battinson who atp knows full well that if it werent for the blood blossom danny could turn martinez into a red smear: *would you?*#danny: if it werent for the laws of this land i would have committed acts of violence against You Specifically :)#and also like. every single other officer insulting batman and callin him a freak. they're not safe either martinez is just the poor sucker#that i have a name to give the face to#danny's a good kid but also i don't picture him totally.. hm... mentally stable? he's a little spicy. as a treat.#he's kind at his core but also he found his family's corpses and was isolated from society for 4 months by his abusive godfather and was#poisoned with quite literally the only toxin capable of destroying him entirely and can no longer (currently) use his powers without dying#instantly. so he's! he's doing his best! like between being chaotic and being kind he's def gonna choose being kind but also.#he's living on borrowed time and is in a constant active state of being slowly eaten alive by his own bloodstream. it weighs on ya psyche#danny's barely even processed his family's death and now he's got all this other trauma stacked on top to address. he is Windows EXP rn#tormenting martinez is just. an itty bitty way he can let loose some of the stress he's ignoring.#considering danny's alternate timeline was: world annihilation. he thinks he's doing pretty well all things considered
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"Shadow the hedgehog is a G.U.N. Agent because he supports the government" ❌❌❌ "Shadow the hedgehog is a G.U.N. Agent because he is still recovering from the sudden death of his best friend and his major screw up aboard the ARK that almost left billions dead and is struggling to find direction and to trust his own judgement to do the right thing to protect the Earth and therefore places his faith in an institution that is much bigger than him and thinks they know better than he does" ✅✅✅
#shadow the hedgehog#team dark#sonic the hedgehog#I know sxs generations say he's never been a gun agent but sega can't be rid of sth06 no matter how hard they try#I just think Shadow burying his trauma under his position at GUN as a bandaid solution is very interesting ok#it would take him AGES for him to trust his own judgement enough to break away as well#Rouge is an agent cause she made a deal with GUN to work for them to avoid prison time. probably for stealing something extremely expensive#Omega works for GUN primarily because they assist him in destroying badniks and don't get in his way#I'll expand on Athena in a different post but I'll say her reasons for working for GUN are similar to Shadow's#I've seen similar hcs floating around so this isn't groundbreaking or anything. This is just my take on the situation#and it's gonna be reflected in my artwork#solar.txt#sonic hcs
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Stolitz, and their fear of rejection and sense of worthlessness turning into a self-fulfilled prophecy.
Blitz—
Does anybody love you, Blitzo? / No.
Eventually everyone goes...
Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress. It's nothing... You know. It's nothing else.
I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Just a wrinkly, old, withered waste.
Royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fucking same.
Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but you wanting me to fuck you. You make that really clear all the time.
But you don't want to do things alone, Blitzo.
I mean, Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of being dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.
And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was, and he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and laugh at my jokes... /Oh well that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit / I know, right?!
It's all my fault. I'd hate me too. I mean, I do hate—
You're going to die alone. You're gonna die alone, Blitzo.
[My worst fear has come true. He couldn't possibly want me. This has to be a joke. He's selfish and an asshole, just like the rest of them. He's trying to get rid of me; that's the only explanation. I'm just a broken toy he's finally gotten bored of, just like I knew would happen. He won't even fight for me, and why would he? I could never be good enough for him. It's happening again. I'm being abandoned by someone I care about. I really am going to die alone.]
Stolas—
Would he want me if he was free? And if he's only here as a prisoner, what kind of monster does that make me?
I mite b bsuy / I wouldn't want to bother you!
You see... I seem to have found myself with, um. Feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.
Dearest, I know better now, I must give you this choice.
I'll save us both before we grow cold.
What's between you and I? Just a comfortable lie.
I'm sorry it's a bad time yet again, Blitzy...
He deserves the choice to stay or go.
So I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls needs to end...
Next time you come over, maybe we can talk about what happened at Ozzie's? / Y? / I'm sorry! Nevermind, it's not a big deal.
What's left for me and my broken heart if I cannot have you? Unless it's me, and no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through the walls you've conjured up to live...
I'll believe him, and not the voice that says I'm not enough.
I'll fucking die alone if this goes bad!
[My worst fear has come true. I truly am not worthy of being loved. He's rejecting me— no, mocking me for even thinking he could ever want to be with me if he didn't need my book. I've been taking advantage of him all this time, all the while believing we had something real and being naive enough to think he could love me back. I am a monster. And now that he can, he has chosen to leave me. So now the least I can do is quietly let him—the only person I have ever wanted and felt alive with—go. I really am going to die alone.]
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#helluva boss the full moon#stolitz#blitz helluva boss#helluva boss blitz#stolas helluva boss#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss full moon#helluva boss meta#More or less?#image description in alt#I am sorry for inflicting pain but I simply cannot suffer alone#They both think they're being rejected when truly they're both desperate to be enough for the other#But as soon as they give the other a chance to say 'I want you too'#(Stolas with his heartfelt confession; Blitz with his 'hold on Stolas' and his 'LET'S GO!')#The other immediately goes 'oh so I was right. He really actually does not want me around. Just like I feared#And acts accordingly. Which just cements the other's belief that what's happening is just a very cruel and mocking rejection#HE'S NOT REJECTING YOU HE'S REACHING OUT SAYING 'WILL YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL' YOU IDIOT#<- me at BOTH of them#Their trauma is so well written I am in awe always and forever. Every step of the way. Their brokenness heals me.#It's going to be so cathartic when they grow to understand one another's perspective
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ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.
ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.
just for both his broken halves to be rejected.
what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?
his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.
how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?
did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.
who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?
his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.
johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.
he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.
simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.
ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.
whole, in any incarnation.
#yall know the story of king solomon?#and the two mothers who claim a baby is theirs so he orders the baby cut in half so they can each have half of him?#well guess what woke me up out of a dead sleep and demanded to be written?#anyway roba showing simon clips of his mum on the news begging for the safe return of her boy#for the government to do something; /anything/ please she just wants her son back#just for ghost to dig himself out of simon's coffin and she can't bear to look at the man he's become#he's cold and afraid and hesitant and angry and in pain and so different from her little boy that it's just too difficult for her#he's a living breathing reminder that her simon didn't come back from the desert#and ghost has to live with the knowledge that his mum couldn't love him through anything#that maybe if he got himself out sooner if he was stronger or smarter or a better soldier... if he hadn't let simon die...#maybe he wouldn't have changed so much that she wouldn't look him in the eye and see a stranger#if you know anything about me by now you know i love the separation of the self and the person they become around others or bc of trauma#whether thats hizashi and present mic or simon and ghost its one of my absolute favourite tropes#and simon knowing hes become someone else and going home expecting to still be loved anyway?#just for this new version of himself to be rejected?#thats the moment he fractures into ghost#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost call of duty#cod mw2#cod mwii#save post
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so i've had a lil fic idea floating in my head for a bit. it's fun to think about!
#i mutilate out of love i Swear! cuteness aggression or something like that#my favs always get the. uh. the. hm. violence? maiming? Trauma? all of the above...#im trying to muster up the energy to Write! its not going well!#im too out of practice smh#in the meantime im satiating myself with these two doodles#but yeah its too fluffy around here. i need to throw some blood in the water#well. stuffing. puppets dont have blood although i wish they did <3 that would be so cool <3#scribble salad#welcome home#wallys fine i swear. or he will be. in my mind#he finally gets a nap! for One Day Only!#meanwhile everyone else gets Lifelong Trauma!#im feeling impatient so im gonna post this now#its like... 5 am....#no sleep for me tonight! yeehaw and hawyee and all that
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the idea this game posits that just as much as or even more so than lucanis is having a demon problem, spite is currently having a lucanis problem. is everything to me. spite voice bitch you live like this???
#'rook. talk to him >:('#<- both people in this ongoing one person family therapy session. thank god my rook is a watcher I think they might get it#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#spite#it's a good metaphor for trauma AND it's excellent da spirit lore building on a lot of things already established#and also. frequently hysterically funny. mary kirby has such a knack for Thematic Depth sneaking through#she did it with varric and storytelling and here she is again 'what like it's hard' style. god fuck EA so much#having to admit that the thing happened and was not in his control and that he's different now and can't go back is harder to deal with#than the actual ways he's different now when engaged with honestly. I mean. yeah. yeah. trauma breaks and rearranges a self#and no one goes 'great love this I'd like some more' right after that#add all the cultural fear and shame around demon possession in andrastian thedas and I would not be doing well either haha#but also. poor spite in the middle of all that being like physical reality is already so weird but I really don't want this to be happening
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Lost princess of a shadow broken kingdom.
#kingdom hearts#kh#kh kairi#kingdom hearts kairi#kairi kingdom hearts#kairi kh#blue boi draws#was messing around with a lineless style#I love her so so much#gah Kairi my girl Kairi she needs therapy#Princess of a place which is not home. forever cursed to feel a little out of place.#it must have taken a long time to adjust to the islands. I like to think her family is very supportive.#even besides that she was a weird kid. a good kid! but a weird kid. I think that’s part of the reason she ended up with Sora & Riku#they were all just a little bit weird. in different and similar ways (neurodivergence).#she’s well liked but unignorably different. she struggles with the culture and expectations of the island in ways others didn’t.#the people around her understood why and were sympathetic (I hope) but that doesn’t stop it from making her feel out of place.#also the long turn ramifications of childhood trauma is always… fun. it’s gonna take her a loooooonnng time to figure that shit out#I love her
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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vent post
#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
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Happy EDS awareness month!
I'm a webcomic artist with EDS. be aware.
EDS affects many parts of my life. I have chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and I need to use a cane! I often find myself ruminating on themes of chronic illness in my work, whether or not I am intending to include them.
I already can't paint anymore, it hurts my hands too much... Anything that requires small details or precise motions will hurt me for days. I have a lot of grief around it. But working digitally allows me to still create!
I animate, I illustrate, I get to tell my stories. I have to go slow, take huge breaks (often against my will) and recover slowly. But, working in this space allows me the grace to do this.
So, I just wanted to share a bit of my experience with my audience, and say thank you for reading my work and supporting me! It means the world to me, and I hope maybe someone in my audience feels a little more seen through me sharing this. It causes me pain, but I love myself; and that includes my disability.
#I thought about putting my comic patreon and kofi links on here but it felt wrong#I really want this post to just be for my audience!#just so you can feel a little seen and just learn a little more about me#I am NOT inviting invasive questions#this is NOT opening the door to discussion on ways it affects my life#this is me sharing a limited glimpse into a part of my personal life#the real pain that this has caused me is shit like my bfs mom telling him to break up with me over it#and people calling me slurs and whatever#I mean obviously the pain itself too but#yeah.#I dont want to talk about that trauma to my thousands of followers in a way they can reblog it and share it around#so#this is all just for you guys#I love you!#thank you for being here#it's the only reason I'm able to create#is because of the support people give me.#well. I mean actually cause of the support webtoon is giving me tbh#I do NOT make enough to quit yet#but the support from my audience keeps me going and makes all the shittiness of my job worth it#it reminds me that creating stories is worth it all#the physical and emotional pain!#so thank you for keeping me motivated and going
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Session Zero
Hello! I am back! @spotaus get in here friend! Next drabble just dropped!
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
Okay. Before anyhting else. This is in the first spring the guys are in farmtale. Nightmare has been six for almost a year now, like 11 months ish. So the gang has been in Farmtale for like 8 months ish (they have had night with them for 10 months)
Look. You all agreed to this timeline hopping when you started reading my drabbles. I have warned you all at the beginning of this ride. ANYWAY! We going in!
*-------------------------*
Ngihtmare stares up at the building as he keeps a very tight hold on Dust's shirt. Dust still has him in his arms as he calmly waits by the enterance.
Killer had dropped them off for now and was going to park the car while they waited under the little covering by the front door.
Dust nuzzles his skull softly "Hey... it is just for a little while. And I shouldn't be long."
Nightmare just pushes closer to Dust "Why need to even go here? It is stupid. You teach me stuff."
Dust nods "Oh trust me. I agree. I am perfectly able to teach things." Dust looks unhappy as well.
Fauna, the nice deer monster from their town, laughs softly "But unless you actually get registered you aren't allowed to do that."
Dust huffs and Nightmare looks at her "So? Why do i need to go here?" Nightmare could just take a break while Dust gets the stupid license to home school and then they can pick it up again. Dust already said they aren't ina hurry.
Fauna smiles softly "This is also to see how you are doing mentally Nightmare. A lot has happened and your health is important."
Ngihtmare just pushes clsoer ot Dust "I am fine." he is fine. He has his... his four! He has a home and peolpe who care about him. What else could he want? Sure his body aches and if he moves a lot it still hurts... and when he is alone at night the nightmares return. But that is beside the point!
He is happier and safer than he has been for a long time. How can they just not see that?
Fauna smiles softly "Well you have been healing a lot. but this is a good thing! you will get to learn so many things, and they will figure out where you are with your schooling to help you better focus and see where you can learn things. Not to forget other children to play with."
Nightmare freezes at the implication of other children and looks up at Dust begging. Please. Please don't leave him.
Dust nuzzles his skull and mutters softly "I will stay right by your side."
Fauna is clearly about to say something but then Killer rushes unver the cover and pants as he drips water "This rain!! It gets everywhere!"
Dust shoots him a disapproving look "really?"
Killer grins "Had to walk quite the end to get here. No parking places. Well! Lets get this whole mental evaluation over with!" and he marches in. Dust shrugs and follows him.
They check in with the receptionist as Nightmare keeps his skull against Dust's collarbone. He watches as he stays quiet to try and listen. file away eveyrhting he hears and keep an eye on where the exit is. Just in case.
They get to the right room and meet some people inside. The director Augustus and the head teacher Miss March.
They talk for a while and Nightmare just keeps trying to stay plastered against Dust. He knows it is dumb and needy and clingy and he shouldn't be this weak after all he experienced but he is terrified and Dust is safe.
They do the stupid tests and talk and they just keep asking him questions he doens't want or know how to answer.
Then they have lunch and all Nightmae wants to do is go home and sleep in their bed.lay together with his dad- four! His four! and relax. let today pass and never think about it again.
They have a few more talks before they meet up with Augustus again and he smiles at them "I must say i am relieved."
Killer looksup and shoots Dust a look as well.
Dust frowns and Ngihtmare feels hismelf be pulled closer "about what?"
Augustus blinks and chuckles "I am sorry. I didn't mean it in any negative way. It is just. I read the file you put together with miss Fauna and I had been worried. but. It seems like your son is a very strong and brave young man."
Nightmare is unsure how to react and just pushes closer to Dust. He knows it is part of the story that Dust is his biological dad but they joy at hearing that bond being refered between them? It is a lot.
Augustus sighs "There is trauma. that is obvious. However. He speaks for himself. and while scared he just needs some gentle encouragement from either of you to feel reassured. The ability for him to still form these meaningfull and supportive bonds with others really showcases that he is on the right track to heal."
He pulls over another report "The physical health is also healing. Very slowly but with the slow recovery of his own magic it is to be expected and all well within the realm of normal healing."
he sighs as he looks at them "Now... about his schooling. He is a smart kid. Very far with reading and languages. But the other aspects of his schooling are very lacking at the moment. but nothing that can't be caught up with." Augustus waits a moment before continuing "Normally. I would recommend full days here."
Killer hisses and glares "No." Nightmare shrinks closer to Dust as Dust just pulls him closer again.
Augustus nods "I had already assumed that would be your answer." he smiles "I will still have to try. I assure you he will be safe here. We have a top staff that all work together to ensure the safety of the children. We are specialised in offering help for children of bad situations. TO help them heal and experience the things any child should get the chance to experience."
Dust glares "He doesn't want to."
Augustus nods "of coruse he doesn't. It is new and scary. It is away from those who keep him safe. But it would help him grow. help him heal. see that not eveyrone in this world is out to hurt him. that those who hurt him were the outliners and should never have gotten the chance to see him."
Dust frowns as Killer jsut glares "We are not leaving him here for days on end."
Augustus nods "While we recommend the full program we can always do a shorter one. One that focusses on trying to help him catch up wiht his learnign and to just keep an eye in case his mental health degrades." he pulls over another piece of paper and hands it to Killer.
Killer snatches it and reads it.
Augustus speaks calmly "It is half a day a week. Normally for children who spend a long time in a hospital. It will mean that he two hours of private tutoring and after that he would spend an hour with the class before and another hour after lunch." he smiles "a much more gentle introduction to school and being near others."
Killer and dust share a look.
Killer leans closer "And how long would this all take? Seeing as we are planning on home schooling him again as soon as Dust got his license."
Augustus looks thoguhtful "Catching up with the school work will take a long time. mentally healing fuly even longer. But as you are not planning on using the full program we can at least give him a stable start to continue healing from."
Fauna frowns at them "What if it turns out that he likes classes? that he likes being in a group?"
Nightmare shakes his skull as he pushes closer to Dust.
Dust rubs his spine softly and Ngihtmare feels hismefl relax. Killer speaks with a grin "If. and only IF Nightmare says he prefers group classes and stuff. Then we will look into options."
Dust nods as he keeps holding him "It will be a long process. We will need to make sure the people he is near know not to touch him. THe children will have to know to be gentle. Nightmare will have to rest a lot and if anything happens with his magic we would have to be called." Dust looks pointedly at Augustus and Nightmare sees the other shiver under the intimidating glare.
Dust just keeps staring "Which is just the start of the list."
Killer grins and the tension disappears "Which is why one of us will remain nearby just in case!"
Augustus frowns "That would go against the aim of the project to help him build up his ability to trust people. We would be at large of a risk that he could fall back into habits of only going to you."
Killer nods "I dn't see anything wrong wiht that." he glares "We are not leaving him. and you can't make us leave."
Augustus frowns and thinks deeply before nodding "What if. You don't stay in the room with him. but you can remain near? We have our waiting rooms for people between appointments or waiting for pick up. YOu could remain there. That is nearby in case of emergencies and knowing you would be in the building could be helpful to make everything feel safer?"
Nightmare is kinda shocked at how considering this guy is. He had seen others before. Who just demanded everyone do what they say because they know better. And this guy probably knows better. He has seen many people before and helped many people. It is why miss Fauna encouraged them to go to this place in the nearby city over the small town psychologist.
Something about having build this whole thing to help others and everything being specialized to be able to help those who have been hurt in this way.
But here he is... letting them decide stuff.
Killer looks considered and him and Dust share a look. DUst shoots Augustus a look "Why are you being so okay with us wanting things different and special?"
Augustus looks shocked before laughing a bit. Then he smiles "Because we are all different people. Two can have the exact same thing happen to them and have a completely different response to the trauma. Two can have the exact same response to the trauma yet need different healing plans." he sighs "We are all individuals who deal and work through things in our own ways. I can advice the most successful routine and what i have seen works before. But you three will always know you three best. You know what you can and can't handle."
Augustus smiles "Maybe after a very sessions and classes I will have a better personalised idea on what could help Nightmare. But before I can do that I need to get to know him a bit more. The mind is a complex thing. It takes time to understand. And you can't understand it if you aren't willing to listen."
Fauna smiles and nods "THe body is rather easy to heal. It will heal if giving the right things it needs. But the mind won't heal unless it is ready to heal. Until it wants to heal."
Augustus nods "exactly. It takes a lot of effort to work through trauma. But the first step is wanting it. Which is why i won't force a program or routine unto anyone, even if i truly believe it will help them."
Killer and Dust consider it and end up agreeing to talk with everyone at home about it.
They do a few more tests and scans. mostly on his spine and ribs to note down the progress. After that they say goodbye to Fauna and leave the building.
The rain had calmed downa lot and turned into a light drizzle as they walk back towards the truck.
Dust hums and nuzzles his skull "you okay?"
Nightmare shrugs "I don't want to do school there."
Dust blinsk adn laughs "I don't think any of us want you to do that either." then he sighs "But it is slightly required to at least get some help."
Killer groans "For real. If we don't at least try this people will keep being problematic." then he frowns "It is also nice to have more medical experts check your wounds nad magic tiny boss."
Nightmare frowns as he pushes close to Dust and thinks.
Eventually they get to their ride and Nightmare mutters "Only for a little while. Just to calm people down." then he wants homeschool again.
Dust nuzzles his skull "We wouldn't ask anything else of you. an we will be wiht you the whole time."
Yeah... that makes the idea bearable. As long as it doesn't take too long of course.
*-------------------------*
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
#utmv#realageau#nightmare sans#deaged nightmare#killer sans#dust sans#And then Nightmare wiht to school to do some catch up with his school work and!#Well... we all know how that ended... *looks at Hard Learned Lesson*#Sad part is that the place they went to really is helpful!#it is like an institute to help young children heal from trauma. Actually a really good place!#It is just ashame that ONE person in there was a bad egg and didn't take the safety as serious and well... We all know how that ended.#but that is how Nightmare's school career started!#For as long as it lasted!#Because it is actually a really good idea to get a traumatised child checked by professionals and see how he is doing mentally.#Which. all things considered? the baby is doing surprisingly well!#so yeah. school and therapy. Which ended after a month is.#Dust by then had his license to homeschool Nightmare :D#also the drama of Hard learned lesson happened around that time but shhhhhhhh
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What would a mother not do for her child What lengths would a mother not go There's a bond that exists between mother and child With no end to how strong it can grow It's a promise for life between mother and child It begins from the moment of birth.
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She is six years old, and standing on the porch at her Auntie Alicia’s cabin. She is six years old, and holding an old rifle in her hands, standing at the railing and pointing the nozzle at a large target a couple feet away. There’s a pair of old ear muffs covering her ears. Behind her is her daddy and her sister, and Auntie Alicia. She can’t see them.
Danielle Martha Fenton is six years old, and her momma has her arms wrapped warmly around her, keeping the gun steady for her. It’s heavy and the butt digs into her shoulder uncomfortably, and she feels nothing but determined. And nervous.
Her momma was teaching her and Jazzy how to shoot, and they’re down in Arkansas to visit Auntie Alicia for her second “Divorce-iversary” as Auntie calls it. She keeps a hunting rifle in her gun safe for the rabbits that like to nibble on her garden. She mostly grows rhubarb, which goes untouched. But her carrots and greens and other veggies like to be tempting snacks for the game.
Regardless, she is six years old and learning how to shoot. Her momma and her daddy (mostly her daddy) have been banned from every shooting range outside of Amity Park in a hundred mile radius. So Auntie is the best place to learn, or so momma says.
Danny thinks it's just an excuse to see her sister, not that she's complaining. She loves visiting Auntie.
She’s already seen Jazzy do this, her momma told her before the muffs went on to shoot when ready. No use trying to fire when you’re not; you can’t afford to miss when shooting ghosts.
Danny breathes out steady, just like momma taught her, and quells her trembling little fingers. She focuses down the barrel, and pulls the trigger.
Immediately, the recoil throws her off, the side of the gun that her cheek was resting on knocks against her skin, harsh enough to bruise if it weren’t for her momma’s steady hands holding onto her. The bang of the gun startles her more than she thought it would, and her heart leaps up and runs a jackrabbit through her chest.
The gun is carefully slipped out of her hands, and Danny lets it go easily, her cheek smarting in pain and her eyes wide and following up to momma. Momma turns the safety on, and with a gentle hand, pushes against her chest. Danny takes a few steps back, and slips the ear muffs off her head.
Mommy is smiling big at her, something that Danny can’t help but replicate on her own face as her heart swells. “Did I get it, momma?” She asks, watching as she passes the gun off to Auntie Alicia, who steps over to take it.
“I’m going to go see, sweetie, but I think you did.” Momma coos, before planting both her hands on the porch railing and, in a single leap, vaults over the side and onto the grass. She’s dressed all comfortable for the summer heat, with her hair all tied back and in shorts and a tank top and nice boots. Danny’s ribs swell hopefully, and she stands on her tiptoes to watch her walk over.
“I’ll be hard-pressed to believe if you didn’t, Martha Mae,” Auntie tells her, grinning like a cat, “that was a damn good shot.”
‘Martha Mae Knight’ was Danny’s granny’s name. Auntie Alicia calls her that because of her middle name — and because, by her words, she has her momma’s weird-shaped eyebrows and piercing blue eyes. The kind that could scare a hawk into singing like a robin. It was Danny’s favorite nickname ever.
Daddy laughs brightly, the sound painful on her ears but twice as nice, and despite the distance, Momma whirls her head around to shoot Auntie a glare; “Language, Alicia. Not around my girls.” She warns. Her accent always comes through when they’re around Auntie. It’s Danny’s favorite thing to listen to.
“Do you think so, auntie?” Danny says, bright-eyed and ever-optimistic. Auntie Alicia nods fiercely as Momma finally reaches the target and searches for the bullet hole. Daddy then comes up behind her, still laughing, and claps a hand onto her shoulder so hard that it makes her knees hurt.
“Of course she did!” Dad boasts, as bright as the sun and twice as warm. He shakes Danny affectionately, wobbling her on her feet and pulling her straight into his side. She goes so willingly with a burble of giggles. “She’s got the eyes of a Fenton! And our family are darn good shots.”
Auntie eyes him up and down, her smile immediately fading off into a pressed line. “I’m sure you mean she’s got the eyes of a Knight. You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn at twenty paces, Jack Fenton.”
Jazzy holds back giggles from where she’s standing by the door, her ear muffs in hand, and Danny watches her Daddy’s dark eyes immediately narrow. Just like Auntie’s, his smile tapers off into a frown.
Before he can say anything, there’s a cheer from the yard, and they all turn to Momma clapping her hands in delight.
Danny immediately pricks her ears up, and would’ve darn near rushed over to the railing if it weren’t for her Daddy’s hand on her shoulder. She yells instead, excitement thrumming like a hummingbird against her ribs, “Did I hit it, momma?!”
Momma beams at her with all the pride in the world, “You sure did, Danny!” And she turns to press her finger against the target, right on the inside red ring of the battered old bag. “Right here, sweet girl!”
There are cheers from all around, and Danny’s heart bursts inside her lungs with shiny, sunshine glee. She puffs her chest out big, and smiles so wide it hurts the cheek where the gun smacked her. Her Daddy shakes again, squeezing her tight against his side in a hug that Danny happily reciprocates.
“What’d I tell you, Martha Mae?” Auntie tells with a big wink and a wide grin, the gun still gripped tight in her hands as Momma makes her way back over. “You got a Knight’s eye.”
When Momma makes it back over the railing, she hugs Danny tight and praises her shot. Danny looks her in the eyes and chases the feeling, and asks to shoot again.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#cw gun#cw gun mention#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#martha knight au#female danny fenton#fem danny fenton#danny is martha wayne au#got a little something something written for this au. the dichotomy of the happy memory and the fact that she's being taught this to shoot#ghosts. the innocence of a child and the reality of the situation :]. as well as danny's steadily disillusion from her parents as she grows#fun fact! this memory is based off one of my own when my dad was teaching us how to shoot so we could (eventually) go hunting with him.#i was around danny's age i think. a little bit younger maybe. so a lot of this stuff -- like Maddie helping her hold it up and them#wearing earmuffs and Danny immediately getting the gun taken away after she shoots and danny herself backing up are all based off#what i could remember. albeit the only difference here is Alicia holding the gun and Jack and Jazz standing behind Danny. in my own memorie#iirc we were all supposed to stand inside when it wasnt our turn. but we also didnt have enough earmuffs for everyone to stand outside.#slaps danny's head like the roof of a car: you can fit SO much trauma in this kid. enjoy her joy while it lasts :]#smth smth the idea that the fenton parents weren't bad at first but instead became a steady decline once they got into building the portal#smth about how danny knows somewhere that they could improve because they were good before. but they aren't and she wonders#who they love more: their daughters. or ghosts? (the answer is their daughters but danny finds this out in a way she doesnt expect)#that beginning song lyric is from “after all” by christine ebersole btw. its danny's theme song for the au.#i thank god every day for being a daycare teacher because the word 'daddy' has been CLEANSED for mEEEEEEEEEEE
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peds surgeon yuuta??? u cant say things like that i need to jump. the cartoons, the glasses, of course his freaky ass would have a thing for u calling him doctor okkotsu i need to die id wanna tease him sm and be all over him but i cant think of anything if its in a hospital how did the greys anatomy ppl made it work?
the grey’s doctors were FREAKS LMFAOO bc there is not space to be doing all that in the on call rooms…. honestly yuuta is probably too busy to even try anything with you in the hospital 90% of the time… he’s either in surgery or buried in the research library or falling asleep standing up 😭 sometimes you two pass each other in an empty stairwell and have time for a kiss or two, but never more than that (also because yuuta has very little self-restraint when it comes to you… if he allowed himself more than that, then it would be much harder to stop…)
sometimes the two of you will fall asleep in the same on call room. yuuta will page you there and by the time you arrive he’s already half asleep, it’s probably his only nap in the last 24 hours, so you do your best not to wake wake him when you cuddle up next to him. you get a few hours of bliss in his arms before his pager is waking the both of you up, and he’s got to scurry downstairs to the peds floor and in his hurry he doesn’t realize he’s snagged your lab coat instead of his own, and it’s only when he’s haphazardly slipped it on and the arms are too short and the shoulders are too tight that he figures it out. it’s too late by then, because gojo is the attending on this case which means he doesn’t miss anything, which means he’s the first to giggle and tease, poking at your name embroidered above the breast pocket, “oh? i didn’t know the two of you got married already! oh and you took her last name, how noble, yuuta!~”
#anonymous#there's technically two separate doctor aus in my head#one is a gojo-verse where he's not a doctor but reader/kento/yuuji/shoko are in that one little drabble i posted#but in this gojo's anatomy universe they all get to be doctors 🙂↕️#some specialities are up in the air but so far peds unit is yuuta (resident) and choso (attending) and they do Not mess around#so very calm and gentle and sweet w the kids but when it comes to the medicine to the surgery to the treatments theyre Mean#they dont play around they dont lack of empathy they wont have it#i think... i think we have to have gojo as a brain surgeon... unfortunately... i think we do......#yuuji is a trauma resident in the other au but i think i'd do the same for him here idk it just fits him 😔#megumi is like..... the radiologist/x-ray tech that gets 40 calls an hour bc everyone wants their scans read in 20 seconds#and hes like no its Not a tumor no i wont run it again and no i dont have time for this 😐#or megumi is actually the parademic who brings in to the ER and hes like well these r drunk college kids... best of luck!#or megumi physical therapist... with his physical therapy dogs.....#nobara ortho resident and shes Scary LMFAOO#old lady comes in for a hip replacement and nobara's got her playlist on full blast having the time of her life hacking away LMFAO#nanami in internal/emergency medicine and hes trying to have his five (5) minutes of peace#and ofc gojo pops up like gnat and hes like nanamin! can i put this patient on blood thiners! and there goes nanamis lunch#yuuta.ask#doctor au
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