#so the quality might be shit LMAO

[ohai-there]

ANBU

[unproduciblesmackdown]

(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

[mercymaker]

i just want to sleep and rest and not have all this tummy pain

[art-from-the-juice-box]

how do people sign stuff like should i put my name or my username and which username :| like tumblr is the only place i use the long ass one usually i’m just called juiceboxcowboy but also anything i do/did for school has my name + middle name on it so should i just keep that trend so it matches even though it won’t lead people back to where it was posted

[mistilteinn-magolor]

looks its the pokemon cards i got today at a funny store

[possibly-eli]

i dont understand what about this is so difficult for people to comprehend:

i just kinda want my thoughts on opinions on MY OWN HEALTH to be entertained instead of immediately disregarded

like. im 17. i shouldnt be having back pain so often. i shouldnt be having such severe leg pain. i shouldnt be dealing with such shitty hand joints. but FUCK ME i guess i dont get a say in jack SHIT about my own health!!!!! because what i say means fuck all!!!!! ok man!!!! whatever i guess!!!!!!!

[hauntingblue]

So roger gave the hat to shanks(to become pirate king after him I guess?) But didn't make it??? Lmao

[the-yearning-astronaut]

[princessfroslass]

The way I am obssesed with Angel's relationship with the girls- and no, I don't mean it on a token gay guy on the gals group™ but rather how he seems to have this- older brother ish sense to him when he is with them.

He is the one that mocks Vaggie even on her lowest point but he was also the one to rush to her side when Charlie and Alastor left- no to mention he was the one leading the other guys to prepare the hotel later on.

He is the one the keep Nifty safe- even though he is extremely weirded out by her antics, and even didn't react with aggression when she was a bout to stab him (that shit wouldn't had flied with any character I tell you lmao) also LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE-

He is the one that protected Charlie from HIS abuser, shielding him from his world from day one- and overall just making sure she stayed safe, and away from Val.

And then there is Cherrie- his ride or die he trusts above anyone else. She is the one he rants to about his horrible day at the studio (which is bad enough to make her RUN to the Hotel after 5 months btw, so who knows what the hell was on those textes) tho I am inclined she is the older sibling at the relationship. I dunno she just has that vibe. She protects him alot more than he does her (that is not to say he doesn't protect her- he literally pushed her away from Pen's invention at the Pilot) and I like that, is a little change or dynamic with his other relationships.

I normally don't like to call a platonic relationship "sibling coded" unless is VERY explicitly implied that is the case, but honestly- with Angel I am willing to do an exception, because of this:

Is not far fetched to think Angel might had projected Molly onto his female friends- SPECIALLY Charlie, who was often draw with her on older sketches. Their dad was abusive, their relationship with their brother non-existent (this actually intrigues me alot because I can see Niss having beef with Angel but the fuck did Molly do?) and the mom isn't mentioned yet, so I am willing to think all they had was each other- flash forward to now, with Angel separated from his beloved sister, trapped onto an soul contract with his abusive ex, and meeting a bunch of girls that had reediming qualities- my guy had issues ok let him be.

[jophiel-shakes]

I know I'm going to be the only person that wants this, but can I please ask for Adam HCs? He sucks but I love him lmao

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

summary :: dating Adam headcanons

warning :: none, sex is mentioned

note :: y’all I can’t lie I love Adam he’s so funny

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Adam is a dick and we all know it but him.

Despite that, he wants to love and wants to be loved deep down.

As much as he may want to rave about his hookups and side chicks he craves a life partner.

Once he gets one, he’s quite smitten.

Adam, despite what he may say, is actually quite loyal. One might even say clingy.

His love language is quality time, so he’s basically sewn to you at the hip.

He loves to go out around heaven with you, shopping, talking shit (he loves to talk shit) and getting food.

I can’t lie, Adam has played the guitar at you on a date. Yes I mean at you. Where you sit there and smile awkwardly whilst he serenades you.

He does has a beautiful voice so it’s not too awful.

Mostly your relationship consists of enjoying heaven, having sex, going on dates and then having sex again.

Due to Adam’s previous relationships, he can be quite insecure when it comes to you.

So more often than not he’s desperate for you approval. Especially if he feels you slipping away.

Oh, you can’t hang out? That’s fine, totally fine. Except Adam will proceed to give you an expensive, desperate gift, take you out on a over the top luxury date and most likely follow you to make sure nobody else has caught your eye.

Insecure and jealous is the best way to put it.

But it’s from past relationships, so can you really blame him?

All he needs is a blowjob hug and some words of affirmation to make him feel better.

[punkpandapatrixk]

🧜🏻‍♀️What’s Your Signature Style? ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

I promise you that you can be “THE” SLAYEST when you rock a style that is your own. A style—or styles—that is your own is one that reflects outwardly the core essence of your Soul Expression.

If you know yourself, and acknowledge your unique Light, there is not a trend or fad in this mortal realm that could ever shake your confidence in what you’re already doing!

Remember, trend-makers are never individuals known to follow trends to begin with! Are you a satisfied with yourself for being a trend-follower? Gosh, that's such loser NPC behaviour. I know you're so much more than that, you su-su-su-Superbeing❣️❣️

SONG: Supernova by aespa

MOVIE: 千年女優; Sennen Joyuu (Millennium Actress) (2001)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Bitch Barbie

VIBE: Jackie (2016)

core spiritual essence – Knight of Wands Rx

YOLO, Spiritual Gangsta! You’re a badass bitch who’s actually a lot nastier and vainer than outer appearances may give LMAO You’re such a drama queen, too. You wake up in the morning and ready to stir up some shit. You’re naughty. You’re playful. You’re creative and a bit of a prankster to the detriment of some of your closest friends. And if you have an enemy, you’re the type that’d pour gasoline on their motorbike and let them catch fire on their own!

You really like colourful stuff. Since you were a kid, you’ve always been interested in cute or weird shapes and bling knickknacks. Colours and shapes are integral to your fashion expression as a means to let your passion through. From another angle, this is also how you show people not to take you lightly. You’re attracted to weird or bold shapes and vibrant colours because they also send word to the outer world that you’re not one to mess with.

You LOVE being seen as a weirdo. It benefits you to be seen as a BITCH, too. This is a form of self-preservation AND protection. You want to weed off boring people who are only there to feed off your precious spiritual creative aenergy! You’re the school’s boss bitch who says, ‘You can’t sit with us,’ to practically everybody because you value only strong and weird, high-quality bitches who are just like you. Deep at your core, you keep to your tribe and will protect them with your Life <3

people’s first impression – XIV Temperance

You’re an enigmatic character who’s admired and feared at the same time. Because you have such a strong presence, unbeatable charisma, people can’t help but be attracted to your aenergy. And for the most part, you’re really somebody who has a pleasant smile and good manners. People’s first projection of you might be along the lines of being a good gal LMAO You seem at first glace a temperate person who adheres to social protocols. I mean, that’s only because you’re chill~

But try and get on your bad side? The psychopath takes over. You’re very serious when working towards your goals and you don’t like it when people bother you with unwarranted criticisms or unsolicited advice. You like figuring things out yourself unless you ask for other people’s opinions. When people see this side of you, then they understand you’re not all that friendly or welcoming and that they’ve been blinded by their own expectations.

From afar, people can tell you’re meant for great things in this Life. Since you’re quite unapproachable to many, they may never say this to you but they gossip amongst themselves and speculate about what such a unique person like you could achieve in this world. They shudder when thinking about all your potentials! How can such a smart badass even be real?? It feels so unfair…

fatal attraction! – Ace of Pentacles

You’re the type that should never buy fake designer items. Buying cheap-ass things that are your style is one thing, but buying fake luxury items? NAH, NO. Your Venus will cry. Check out what your Venus sign says about your values as a person and try to match your fashion style with that. For the majority of you tuning into this Pile, being bold in all the ways that suit you is the way to go. Price is not necessarily key here, it’s boldness that plays into your self-expression.

You’re the kind of person who can wear colours and accessories that usually will make other people look like clowns XD People wonder what enables you to pull off those strange colours, shapes or combinations, not knowing it’s your CONFIDENCE in yourself being able to pull them off that makes them work. It’s the RIZZ, baby~ No matter what you look like, no matter your size and skin colour, you have the power to make WHATEVER you wear on you look like something they show on the runway.

I betcha you get a lot of requests to model for your photographer friends? XD Some of you reading this have even modelled casually before. And some of you are meant to be scouted into the modelling or fashion industry in general! If not to that degree, you’re still the kind of person who could make occasional appearances on fashion magz or insta or have your face be a poster for something quite creative. You should charge good prices for your contribution to people being able to sell their shit! v$o$v

A MILLION DOLLAR STYLE~🔻💙

vanity – Silver Geographer (Francis Drake)

sassy – Priestess of Integrity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Brooding Maniac

VIBE: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

core spiritual essence – 4 of Cups

You one spooky bitch XD But truly, your Soul is full of colours if only people could see it! It’s just that these are colours most people won’t understand or even approve of. You possess the ability to feel and process immensely complex emotions as well as thoughts. It’s more like you think in feelings even if you identify as someone very logical. Your emotions often get heavy if you don’t learn to control them. And…you’ve really taken it to quite an extreme how well you can control or suppress your emotions now.

Some of you reading this probably have strong Earth placements, especially Capricorn, but could also have some Scorpio and Aquarius influences. The way you feel your emotions is quiet and almost…jaded. I think your Soul gets easily tired by Humans for their lack of intelligence but also for their lack of appreciation for different varieties of Beauty. You think most people are narrow-minded; just thinking about it is super exhausting.

That’s why you don’t easily show your colours to everybody. People’s disapproval of the depths of your emotions could kill your spirit on a daily basis. You’d rather not deal with that, so then you chose to sport a lot of black in your outer appearance. You could also be the type that chooses solid or ‘dull’ colours like grey or white, essentially to just…not tell people anything. The only other way you actually show your emotions, in a subtle way, is through some colours that could be found in your accessories and…HAIR <3

At least some of you dream of having colourful hair if only your society or workplace would allow that XD

people’s first impression – 8 of Cups

Instantaneously, people get this impression that you’re elusive as fuck. Like, you’re not exactly unapproachable—no, no—it’s more like, even if people try to talk to you, they already think you’re the type that won’t respond too well. You seem like you don’t talk much if at all, and people get this feeling that you’re uncomfortable with being talked to. Kinda feels like, you’re ready to flee the scene the moment someone comes up to talk to you BUHAHAH Most likely because you give off this nervous/awkward energy in social situations XD

As for your fashion, you dress so uniquely, out-there-ly, alien-ly, and people simply can’t catch up. They know they won’t be able to copy you, at least not properly. You possess a strong and unique aura that shines through your fashion sensibility and you don’t even try that hard if you’re being honest. And yet, anybody who tries to emulate or copy you will 100% look like a cheap knock-off of whatever style you’re rocking.

There is something about you that screams ORIGINAL. And yet, this is mostly caused by your lack of interest in other people’s business. You have this cold, detached aura that makes you stand out in a crowd exactly because you don’t give a fuck. At first glance, people think it’s your fashion—your clothes and accessories, your hair or nails that make you look ORIGINAL. Maybe even you think that. But no, it’s your brooding AURA that says so. You’re a maniac who ain’t interested in mingling, that’s why~

fatal attraction! – Queen of Wands

You’re a divisive character who’s either despised or admired, to an extreme. There’s no in between. Seems, indeed, like some Scorpio/8th House aenergy or some harsh Plutonian aspects XD To varying extents, and depending on your mood on a given day, people’s extreme reception of you could be mentally draining. The way I see it, you yourself don’t even understand why people are damn drawn to you. You kinda wish people would leave you alone. At least the ones you don’t care about.

But…you definitely are incredibly pretty. You have a very attractive face, you know that? And then there’s your fashion sense that tells the right kind of people that you truly are a creative/artistic person who has many stories to tell because you feel very deeply. And yet, you don’t talk to people at all and that’s mystifying. Meanwhile, the haters are also attracted to your aenergy because something about your originality is a direct insult to their lack of AUTHENTICITY ho ho ho~

You give people a reason to connect and unite in their petty hatred and that’s very refreshing for those types of people to talk about LMAO Ain’t you a hero, my dear? Anyway, this may sound so random but I’m getting that you might wanna hang out at some art gallery or library? You could meet someone or see an ad/announcement for an event that could change your Life for the better! Your brooding style could get you some unique opportunities that could potentially make you very happy <3

A MILLION DOLLAR STYLE~🔻🧡

vanity – Silver Alchemist (Ramon Llull)

sassy – Priestess of Inspiration

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Plutonian Siren

VIBE: Flesh and the Devil (1926)

core spiritual essence – 8 of Pentacles

Daym, you’re a total hustler babe, aren’t ya? For one, at the core of your being you know that you were born into this world with a strong purpose. When you were a kid, you probably didn’t have the words to describe this knowing but it was clear to you that you weren’t supposed to fit in or be ‘normal’, whatever ‘normal’ meant within your norm XD You’ve always been the kinda person who deviated from your mainstream society. You couldn’t help it; you just had to be an anomaly.

Truth be told, you’ve a strong Sirenian spirit (if that’s even a word). You’re like a combination of a bitch barbie and a brooding maniac. You’ve a strong dark Plutonian and chaotic Neptunian aenergy about you and this is SCARY to a lot of people. If you grew up in a toxic household, I betcha an adult in your ‘family’ despised you for just being you. Could be a mean uncle or auntie as well if you had a good relationship with your own parents ;P

Did you know that in some literature Sirens were actually not mermaids? They’re more akin to evil harpies? XXD You’re an evil harpy at your worst and a singing mermaid at your best. I tell you people shouldn’t mess witcha. The karma will be heavy on them because you essentially come from a strong lineage of powerful witches! <3

people’s first impression – 9 of Cups

Wherever you are in the world, when you walk, you’re like a dream come true. You possess a natural charm that transcends race, culture, localised standards or whatever. In every situation and all nations you are beautiful, magnetising and charming. Your sheer existence makes people daydream. I’m sure you’ve heard this a lot, ‘You smell really nice.’ ‘Y/N always smells nice.’ ‘When you’re around it always smells nice.’

You’re so fucking unreal for this mortal world. Due to your Neptunian aenergy—could also be strong/significant 12th House placements—people project on you without a care for your feelings. Or should we say, they project on you without a care for their own safety? When somebody crosses the line, you snap like a sea dragon and they’re done, forever LMAO

As much as people are intrigued by you they are afraid of you. There is this depth to you that makes people suspect that once they’re in they’re never gonna be able to crawl out of your aenergy field. You’re kinda like Tomie now that I think about it. So the ones who are able to sense this swirling darkness in you will try to steer away from your charm~ Good for them because most of the time, you don’t even like it when people are up in your ass non-stop XD

fatal attraction! – 5 of Pentacles Rx

Of all the Piles, your natural charm is definitely chaotic. It’s almost demonic! Yours is a fatal attraction for sure because you will cause insanity in the minds of whoever tries to get a taste of your aenergy. And you’re out here chillin’, completely clueless as to what’s going on with the idiots around you. Why’s everybody simping? I ain’t even do nothing.

For whatever personal reasons, most people have this fantasy about you saving them from whatever boring Life they’re living. Some really sick minds could expect—even demand—you to be their stupid little Pixie Dream Girl when in reality you’re the FURTHEST thing from that. People could get SO dangerously unreasonable when it comes to desiring you.

I’ve got to say that you’d better protect yourself good, girl. Do everything in your power to steer away from bitter and jealous aenergy, because the people under your involuntary spell might indeed endeavour to cause you harm. Beware of men who could assault you and women who would trick and tarnish your reputation. I’m reminded of this quote by Claude Debussy:

‘People don’t very much like things that are beautiful… they are so far from their nasty little minds.’

For being such an unrealistically beautiful creature with an aura of mysticism, lots of people are attracted to your magnificence because they want to make it their own or destroy it, not because they appreciate your existence. Be selective with who you allow to get to know you~ <3

A MILLION DOLLAR STYLE~🔻💚

vanity – Green Astrologer (Robert Fludd)

sassy – Priestess of Love

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 2] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[moonstruckme]

i recently started following you and i absolutely love your writing! you have such great talent!

no pressure at all and feel free to scream at me if this is out of your boundaries (i read ur guidelines so it shouldn’t be but you never know). I’m curious if you could write reader with literally anyone, just in denial that they like them. like she used to go out with really shifty guys and is just appalled that this person actually likes them

(this definitely isn’t self-indulgent at all….)

Thanks for requesting baby! (I would never scream at you lmao) I did this with dealer Eddie, hope that's alright :)

cw: weed, mention of transactional sex

dealer!Eddie Munson x fem!reader ♡ 1.5k words

Eddie’s grinning big when he opens the door to his trailer. He takes off his headphones, hanging them around his neck. You can hear Black Sabbath still playing from the speakers. 

“Hey.” His voice has a slightly raspy quality to it, and you wonder if he’s been singing or smoking. “You lookin’ for a fix, pretty?” 

You grasp the strap of your bag self-consciously, forcing a bouncy “yep” past your lips. Eddie’s got a way of saying things that makes you feel awkward and flighty, like your heart might lurch right out of your ribcage at any moment. It should be routine by now, but you’ll probably never get over it. 

Eddie only nods and opens the door further, inviting you in. He sets a hand on your back as you go by, and you try not to look as shy as the touch makes you feel. 

“Same as usual?” 

“Yeah, thanks.” You lean against the counter while he crosses the room to the drawer where he keeps his stash. 

You’ve been coming to Eddie for years now. You weren’t exactly friends in high school but you were always friendly, and every time you leave his place you’re freshly shocked by the realization that you actually really like him. You appreciate that he keeps it business. Well, as business as anything can be with Eddie. Flirting is just part of the package, but he doesn’t try to smoke your stuff after he sells it to you and doesn’t seem to expect anything other than money in return. Shitty as it sounds, a dealer like that can be hard to come by in your experience.

“I’ve been missing you, sweet thing,” he says, taking out a big zip lock bag of bud and a smaller one to portion yours into. “Thought you might’ve found someone else to keep you happy.” 

You don’t respond for a second, and Eddie’s head tilts up from where he’s picking through the bag, eyebrows going up in intrigue.

“I was seeing this guy for awhile,” you say, looking sideways out the window. “He got pre-rolls from someone else, and he’d let me have them sometimes.” 

“Well shit, I can roll for you if it’ll keep you coming over.” 

You look at Eddie in surprise. He grins at you, jutting his chin towards the couch. 

“Sit down, I’ll get you set up.” 

“You don’t have to do that,” you say. 

“Gotta keep my favorite customer happy, don’t I?” You don’t move, and his smile softens into something more genuine. “It’s no problem, just sit down. Tell me about this guy. Does he treat you right?” 

You follow directions, going to sit on the less saggy and dingy-looking of the couch cushions while Eddie bends over the counter across from you. “Not really,” you say indifferently. As if thinking about it doesn’t send a dull ache blooming through your middle. “We aren’t together anymore.” 

Eddie glances up at you, something odd flitting across his expression. “That sucks,” he says bluntly. “I’m sorry. I mean, it sounds like he sucked, so I guess I’m not sorry that it’s over even if I’m sorry that you’re sad. Are you sad?” 

A little laugh startles out of you. “Not really,” you say, and it’s halfway to honest. You’d been sad to break up with him, but Eddie is right; he sucked. You’re not really sad it’s over either. 

“Good.” He nods, appeased. “Thought I’d have to go beat someone up or something.” 

You snort, and Eddie’s mouth drops open in offense. He looks back down at the roll, sticking his tongue in his cheek as he shakes his head.

“Feels like you’re not taking my threat of vengeance super seriously.” 

“No, I am,” you laugh. “I am, it’s just—you don’t seem like someone who wins a ton of fights.” 

“Ah!” He clutches a fist over his heart, looking at you in absolute betrayal. “So little faith! I’ve fought worse monsters than your jilted beaux, okay?” 

You roll your eyes. “I’m guessing it’s a little different in real life than in your game.” 

Eddie pauses for a half a second, and you wonder if you’ve gone too far in your teasing, but then he bends back over the table, bringing the paper to his mouth. “Right.” He runs his tongue quickly across the roll. “Well, anyway, I have a spear in my garage if you want me to give it a try.” 

You smile at the thought of Eddie jabbing his (in your imagination, plastic and nerdy) spear at your most recent ex. 

“Thanks, but I think I’m good,” you say. 

He shrugs. “Your loss. I’d have taken off my shirt for the battle, but I guess you’ll have to get that show another time.” 

You laugh, crossing your legs as he starts on another roll. “Hey, you don’t actually have to roll all this,” you say. “I won’t stop coming to you.” 

“I don’t mind it,” he replies, packing the next with easy, practiced movements. “Unless you’re in a rush or something. Do you have to go?” 

“No, I’m…I’m good.” You’ve never spent this long at Eddie’s place before. It’s usually that you show up, he gives you a bag, you pay, and you leave. You’ve never taken much time to survey the trailer, the way Eddie moves around the cramped furniture with such ease or the way the windows let in just enough light to make his skin look softer and his eyes browner. “You can leave half of it, though, if that’s okay. I’ve still got a bowl at home.” 

“Whatever you want.” He keeps his focus downward, ringed fingers moving carefully. “You know, I’ve actually kind of missed having you come around.” 

“You said that already.” You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, smiling even though he’s not looking. “I told you I’ll keep coming back, Eddie, you don’t have to butter me up.” 

His gaze flicks to you, eyebrows rising on his forehead. “I’m not,” he says.

Something about his tone has the hairs raising on the back of your neck. You keep intentionally still as a slight chill goes through you. 

“I like hanging out with you.” He shrugs, looking back at his roll. “Would you want to hang out again soon?” 

You hesitate. “I…don’t think I’ll be needing any more for a bit.” 

“Well, ideally you wouldn’t be here to buy.” 

For a second, you’re confused, and then realization and dread collide in your gut with enough force to make you nauseous. The disappointment is more potent than either of them. 

“Oh.” Maybe Eddie isn’t so different from the other dealers you’ve had after all. “Um, I just feel like I’ve always paid in cash…” 

Eddie’s eyebrows furrow, and then his entire face contorts. “Christ—no.” He drops the finished roll, holding up his palms as if to ward you off. “Not that! Ew—I mean—” His hands go to his head. “—not ew, like you’re not ew, I just—gah.” He drops his head back, and his fingers disappear into his hair, making fists. He looks almost pained. “I like you. Like, I’m not trying to have sex with you right now. Not that sex wouldn’t be cool—we could if you wanted to—but that’s not what I’m getting at.” 

He blows out a big breath, hands dropping to his knees, and looks you in the eye. 

“Can we just forget about the weed for a second?” he asks, sounding nearly desperate. “I’m trying to ask you on a date. Not to get you to fuck me for drugs.” Your mouth drops open, but Eddie keeps going. “And if you don’t want to go out, that’s totally cool. Very respectable, honestly. It doesn’t have to affect anything.” He presses his lips together. “I didn’t mean to say you were ew. I’m sorry.” 

You’re too shell-shocked to even laugh. You have whiplash. But now he’s looking at you with his big eyes all expectant, and you feel like you have to say something. 

“A date?” you ask. 

“Uh, yeah.” He leans against the counter, looking a bit awkward but somehow all the more endearing for it. “Like, to the arcade or maybe dairy queen or something—I don’t know, you can pick.” 

“And you…don’t want to have sex.” 

“I don’t not want to have sex,” he clarifies. “But, uh, we don’t have to at all. Like, only if you want to, and definitely not if you think it’s some sort of…” Eddie winces “...transaction.” 

You nod slowly, and now there’s a smile tugging persistently at your lips. “That sounds good,” you say. “The date part.” 

“Yeah?” His head picks up. “Really?”

You smile. “Yeah. Are you sure?” 

“Am I sure?” Eddie guffaws. “Yeah, I’m pretty fucking sure. I’m getting a much better deal here. But no take-backs,” he says quickly, and his grin widens when you laugh. “Are you free tomorrow?” 

“Um, yeah.” You think for a second, nodding. “Yeah, I’ve got nothing tomorrow.” 

“Great.” Eddie presses his lips together like he’s trying to contain the full scope of his smile. He pushes his fingers into the countertop. “Okay, forget everything from today. I’m gonna be such a fucking gentleman when I pick you up tomorrow, you probably won’t even recognize me.”

[transmutationisms]

any thoughts on the obsession with "hyperprocessed foods"? is there even such a thing and if so how much of the stuff around it is fake?

such a flawed useless categorisation lmao; this phrase comes from the nova scale, according to which an "ultra-processed food" is identified by a lack of sufficient "intact" food and the presence of "sources of energy and nutrients not normally used in culinary preparations" and additives specifically "used to initate or enhance the sensory qualities of food or to disguise unplatable aspects of the final product" (other additives, such as preservatives, antioxidants, and stabilisers, only qualify a food as group 3, "processed"). ultra-processing is defined as "a multitude of sequences of processing [...] includ[ing] several with no domestic equivalents," and ultra-processed foods are "usually packaged attractively and marketed intensely."

......so ok, first of all, this is very obviously reliant on a lot of assumptions about what 'normal' cooking and cooking equipment means, lmao. i do all kinds of shit in the kitchen that would have been inaccessible to someone in the mid nineteenth century; has the food become 'less processed' because i can make it at home now? if i obtained the equipment to hydrogenate oils myself would they magically not be ultra-processed simply because they came from my kitchen and not from an industrial setting?

this is just quasi-scientific language to express a fundamental distrust of food produced in ways that currently can't be replicated in [researchers' definitions of] a [normal] home kitchen. it's barely more sophisticated than platitudes like michael pollan's command to "eat only foods your grandmother would recognise". using the nova classifications to make assumptions about the healthfulness or danger of a food is just silly; the presumption is that the dietary and medical effects are not due to the food itself but to how it's produced, an idea that has led researchers to conclude that "the NOVA system suffers from a lack of biological plausibility so the assertion that ultra-processed foods are intrinsically unhealthful is largely unproven."

fundamentally the only evidence that nutritional scientists have been able to produce is observational studies showing a correlation between certain ill health outcomes and consumption of 'ultra-processed food'.

But the observational studies also have limitations, said Lauren O’Connor, a nutrition scientist and epidemiologist who formerly worked at the Department of Agriculture and the National Institutes of Health. It’s true that there is a correlation between these foods and chronic diseases, she said, but that doesn’t mean that UPFs directly cause poor health.

Dr. O’Connor questioned whether it’s helpful to group such “starkly different” foods — like Twinkies and breakfast cereals — into one category.

[...]

Clinical trials are needed to test if UPFs directly cause health problems, Dr. O’Connor said. Only one such study, which was small and had some limitations, has been done, she said.

ie, when evaluating the healthfulness of foods you have to actually look at what they are and what the human body does with them, and not just make a bunch of wild assumptions based on fears about their lack of proximity to 'naturalness' or propensity to be advertised (unlike, i guess, other more intact foods, which are not commodities. who knew!)

and there are like a million trillion other reasons why this correlation might hold: off the top of my head, for instance, people who rely more on the convenience of ready-made foods likely to be categorised as 'ultra-processed' are likely to be people who can't cook because they don't have time because they're working. so as usual nutrition and health science does a dogshit job distinguishing between the health effects of socioeconomic status and those of whatever some dickwad wants to publish a splashy study about.

there are certainly 'ultra-processed' foods that we can be extremely confident are harmful to human health---for example, trans fats. but the categorisation as a whole is so conceptually flawed as to be useless for any purpose besides as a term that 'scientises' culturally held beliefs about the wholesomeness and healthfulness of home food preparation, and the corresponding danger and artificiality of industrial production and methods.

[spaghettioverdose]

people are discovering I'm an evil tankie lmao

anyways the second one is particularly dumb. you speak of the concept of ml transfems like they're this wacky sort of weird rare position that no one really has. are you aware how many popular posters on this site are transfem MLs or transfem ML adjacent? moreover, based on what do you know that MLs are the most transphobic people on the left? like not talking about a subreddit or a discord server, or even CPGB. I'm talking about the movement as a whole. and if there is, a trend where marxism-leninism is especially transphobic (hint: there is not) is that due to the ideology itself being inherently transphobic or is it the people living in particular material conditions that lead to them holding out reactionary ideas?

I could bring up a million arguments to refute this like the incredibly progressive new family code in Cuba, or East Germany's progressive LGBT policies, or how people were already lamenting how many rights they were going to lose from the reunification, or the general trend of modern socialist states to make gains when it comes to LGBT rights and protections, but this has been brought up a million times and you are all still stupid.

Tell me anon, who am I, as a transfem, supposed to side with politically? Liberals who have all shown to be willing to throw us under the bus in record speeds if they believe it might get them three more votes? Anarchists who are utterly incapable of forming any kind of cohesive movement, incabable of holding powe for longer than 2 years, and incapable of organising the economy in any that helps anyone? Am I meant to become a trotskyite or a leftcom so I can whinge about stalinism all day and never do anything useful? What ideology should I fucking be anon? I've was a liberal and I was an anarchist and they both were shit. And believe it or not, anon, anarchists aren't as inherently good to transfems as you think either.

But besides even all this, you deeply misunderstand why I'm even an ML. I believe that marxism-leninism provides a scientific lens through which economy and politics can be analysed to produce analysis with actual predictive power. This is a quality that is very much absent from every non-marxist ideology. Every newer liberal economist that suddenly discovers a basic function of capitalist economy and who is then lauded as a genius, has been playing catch-up with Marx and they're still very far behind. Keynes discovered the concept of "in an economy that runs on commodities being bought, when no one has money to buy said commodities, the economy collapses" is something that scientific communists knew for since the later half of the 1800s. Marxism-leninism is the only form of leftwing ideology that has been effective. Marxism-leninism, when applied, has almost universally raised the standards of living, industrialisation, life expectancy and women's rights. I'm not an ML because I think of ideologies as sports teams, cliques, or fun little labels to add to myself.

[illubean]

Lmao crack request: How much/What kind of stupid shit would it take for hxh bois to divorce/kill their spouse or come close to it

Like a spouse that meets all their other requirements, But is just an absolute moron in the most mundane ways (confusing salt with sugar, forgoting their birthday/dates, cannot be trusted around open flame, will eat thing they're not supposed to if left alone, tripping in pulic and embarrassing them.)

Chrollo, Illumi, and Machi(Plus anyone else you want honestly)

What Would Make HXH Characters Kill/Divorce You

Characters: Illumi Zoldyck, Chrollo Lucilfer, Machi Komacine

IM BACK!! or am i (smirk emoji)

Warnings: killing and divorce duh

Illumi Zoldyck

it already takes a lot for Illumi to even consider being with someone so I'd imagine it would take a lot for him to kill you

divorce is not and never will be an option for this man

its either you are married forever or he is killing you

the only way I can see him killing you is if you cheat or pose some sort of threat to the family

and even if you did cheat he's more likely to kill the other person than you...

honestly if you act up he'd probably just lock you in a basement or something

you must have some crazy redeeming qualities for this guy to be with you because why the hell are you so dumb

he probably uses your idiocy against you

as in he manipulates you..

you don't pick up on it obviously but you're generally happy so i guess it doesn't matter

ignorance is bliss i guess

Chrollo Lucilfer

poor Chrollo

he already has a whole troupe to run and has to hide from the cops and whatnot

but now he has a dumb ditzy s/o? lord help him

a part of him lwky likes that you're so stupid but the other part of him...not so much

like aww you depend on him but also Oh my god you can't be left alone.

you stress this man OUT

i don't think he could ever get to the point of considering marrying you stupid or not

his live is too busy to be tied down like that

also since he likes you in the first place I don't think he'd ever have it in him to kill you

unless you were like a serious threat or something

he lightly pokes fun at you for your lack of spatial awareness like when you walk into poles or trip over something that was easily avoidable

but it does get tiring having to yank you out of the way of oncoming traffic or trying to stop you from wandering off

Machi Komacine

Machi is very level headed so I doubt she'd kill you over anything dumb

and she has sharp intuition so I doubt she'd marry you in the first place if she felt there was room for divorce

but she's very loyal to the Troupe and Chrollo so that being said, if you pose a threat to them she might kill you

but if somehow you guys get married and she doesn't realize how stupid you are before she's definitely realizing it now

it takes a long time of little things for her to actually divorce you

like wtf do you mean you ate her wax melts because they looked like chocolate? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAVE TO CHECK EXPIRATION DATES???

she's surprised you haven't accidentally killed yourself yet

her breaking point is when you tried making instant ramen in the microwave

With no water.

You ended up setting it on fire.

she stares blankly into the flaming appliance and says flatly "I want a divorce"

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Long Ride p.1

A/n: I had this idea a few days ago and just really wanted to write it for other people who might enjoy it, full disclosure I wrote part of this in a room full of people and was panicking during that so there's a part I feel is significantly lower quality than the rest lmao I hope you enjoy is nonetheless and if you have any requests let me know and I'll be happy to write for it :3

Warnings: Smut, car sex, fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex, age gap, I think that's it but if you catch anything I missed please let me know :3

Link to part 2

The streets of L.A. where you lived with your boyfriend, Slash, were always so lively. Every turn led to a new version of the city and it amazed you everyday. Except for today.

You stared out the window as all the streets passed you by and it wasn’t the same. You weren’t passing through all the fun party spots, you weren’t heading to some neat studio. All honesty you had no idea where Slash was taking you, all you knew was that the buildings were all boring and bland and it was driving you nuts.

Slash had the radio on low, playing some oldies songs and you enjoyed the music. It bled into the background so you could at least distract yourself with your thoughts.

Letting your mind run while you sat there with nothing much better to do was great until your mind began wandering in... other directions.

Soon your thoughts trailed away from what the rest of your day was going to look to what Slash’s fingers would feel like inside of you. You knew the answer, of course, but the idea was more than intriguing right now.

You reached for Slash’s hand. Thinking you just wanted to hold his hand he happily accepted the touch and held your hand right back, giving it a small squeeze. You smiled at his hand, long, thick fingers entangled between your own, slimmer ones. His big rings causing an uncomfortable heat to form between your legs.

You bit your lip and pulled his hand to your thigh. Slash quickly glanced at you but then kept his attention on the road. “What are you doing?” He asked in that sweet soft and raspy voice of his.

“Nothing.” You answered as you began sliding your shorts down. Slash looked at you again and gave a quick slap to your hand when he saw what you were doing.

“I have to get to a meeting, what are you doing?” You bit your lip again at his stern tone.

“Come on, it’ll be fine.” You groaned, rolling your eyes at him. “I’ll do all the work, I just need your hand.” You told him and pulled your shorts further down your thighs. Slash shook his head at you but didn’t protest any further. He took the rings off his fingers and dropped them into the cup holder so they wouldn’t get in the way for you.

Once you got your shorts off along with your underwear you took his hand and brought it to your clit, waiting for him to circle it like he normally would. Only he didn’t. His hand lay there limply in yours. You looked up at him with a pout, to which he responded by shaking his head again. “You wanted to be a big girl and do it yourself, so do it yourself.” He said with a shit eating grin that told you he knew exactly what he was doing to you.

You scoffed at him, but he was right. You said you’d do it yourself and you would do it yourself. Using his hand.

Slowly you pushed one of his fingers into you, you were already soaked so it wasn’t hard. Unlike Slash who had a very visible tent in his jeans.

Slash stuck to his words and wasn’t moving his hand at all, not even curling his fingers. Nothing. So it was up to you to roll your hips to get some friction going.

You ground against his hand, pumping just the one finger in and out of your hole until you were ready for another, the familiar stretch drawing a whine from you. Slash kept driving as if nothing was happening. You couldn’t keep your eyes off of him as you fucked yourself on his hand, loud moans ripping from your throat, mostly in an attempt to get him to do something.

While you were riding his hand you were touching yourself, trying to mimic the way Slash always does when you’re watching movies. Lazily but with a sense of urgency, teasing you then giving you exactly what you had been begging for in the most intense degree. I didn’t matter, it was the same. Even so, you were still getting close with whatever it was you were doing right.

The familiar knot built back up in your gut, your eyes crossed as it was about to burst. You had the seat pushed back, your legs were parted as far as you could get them in the seat without bothering Slash as he drove along his way.

You clenched around Slash and your back arched but before you actually hit your release he pulled his hand away, taking any pleasure you’d derived from it as well. You whined loudly and sat up, looking at Slash with a pout and teary eyes. “Why would you do that?” You asked, still playing with your clit in a desperate attempt to feel something again.

“I don’t need you making a mess in my car.” He stated bluntly. You glanced around again at all the boring buildings and landscapes as you drove past them. You whined and tried to get yourself off on your own hands, rubbing your clit, pumping your fingers in and out of your hole. You couldn’t help but cry, it wasn’t the same without him. No matter what you did, if you curled your fingers, if you went faster, it didn’t matter. That knot was no longer there, not waiting to burst.

Tears rolled down your cheeks, soft sobs left you as you desperately attempted to get yourself over the edge that just seemed to be moving further and further away.

Slash pulled into a parking lot. There were no other cars in the small space, the building attached to the lot was very obviously abandoned with broken windows and it was covered in art. You watched Slash get out of the car and come around to your side. He opened the door and stared down at you. “Get out.” He ordered.

“What? Why?” You asked, your voice weak and shaky still. Slash let out a heavy sigh before reaching over you and unbuckling your seatbelt. You quickly pulled your shorts back up but you didn’t have time to do them up as Slash pulled you out of the car. He wrapped an arm around your waist and walked with you towards the abandoned building.

You kept looking around as you went, looking for anyone around or any sign of what he was doing. Just something, anything. Slash led you to the alley between the abandoned building and whatever the other place was beside it. It was gross and stank from the industrial garbage bin shoved in there.

Slash shoved you against one of the brick walls, a place where you were mostly hidden by the garbage. He got your shorts off again then pulled himself out of his jeans.

He pushed between your thighs, using your slick as lube. “Happy now?” He asked, his voice harsh in your ear. You whined softly and nodded. Slash scoffed and shook his head. “Fucking bitch.” He mumbled as he aligned himself with you before pushing all the way in with one thrust. You let out a moan as he slid in, hitting your sweet spot as he did so. Slash’s hands gripped your hips, you were sure to find bruises later.

Slash didn’t wait for you to adjust and started thrusting in and out of you at a brutal pace. Your jaw was slack as whines and moans left you like a second language. He hit deep inside of you while his fingers went to work on your clit, rubbing aggressive circles over the sensitive nub. He bit and sucked your neck, leaving dark marks leading down to your shoulder.

That familiar knot built up in your gut and finally you felt like you could hit your release. “Fuck, Slash-Slash, ‘m gonna-gonna cum.” You managed to get out. Slash didn’t stop, he didn’t say anything. Your legs buckled and shook underneath you, the only thing keeping your standing were Slash’s arms around you. After teasing and abusing your poor hole Slash let you cum and you squirted all over the brick wall and concrete ground, soaking your shorts and beneath you as well.

Slash pulled out and slapped your ass. “Better now?” He grumbled as he did his pants up. You turned to look at him and leaned back against the wall. Your breathing was heavy, there was a thin layer of sweat coating your body. Your gaze wandered up and down the man before you.

“You-you didn’t finish.” You mumbled, looking at his crotch. Slash nodded and threw his arm over your shoulder again so he could lead you back to the car.

“I have a meeting to get to.” He said, rubbing your arm. “I’ll finish dealing with you afterwards.” He opened the passenger door for you and reached over to buckle you in, slapping your thigh as he pulled away and closed the door.