#so that's the lens I read things through
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Since I've seen several posts floating around that try to rebut the points of @end-otw-racism by saying that AO3 is too big to moderate, can we PLEASE take a moment and remember that AO3 IS ALREADY HEAVILY MODERATED.
We all know the obvious one - that if you post anything about monetizing fic, you will be moderated into oblivion. We also all know why! This is essential to AO3's survival as a non-profit! No one would propose changing this!
But a lot of people seem to forget that AO3 is moderated in other ways! For a personal example, several years ago I got a "change this or we're removing your work" e-mail. The work in question? A collection of pseudo-ficlets that were somewhere between outlines and sketchy fics. What I got moderated for? I said in the a/n that if anyone wanted to expand my kinda-outliney nonsense into fully fleshed out stories, they were welcome to do so! I was told this was a violation of the ToS, because fics that are collections of prompts aren't allowed, and that if I didn't change the a/n I'd have to delete the work. Of course I edited the a/n, and my work was allowed, and I moved on. I did, immediately, delete another work I'd posted, which WAS literally sets of prompts I'd written free to a good home. It was clearly in violation of those rules, and I just hadn't realized content like that wasn't allowed.
Numerous things are forbidden on AO3 and will get moderated and potentially deleted, including:
advertising
"find a fic" posts
spam
plagiarized works
virus spreading
doxxing
actual CSAM
lots of other stuff as listed in the tos
If the foundation of your argument is "AO3 is too big to moderate" your argument is bad. AO3 is already moderated.
So that means your ACTUAL argument is "I think AO3 is moderated enough as-is and I don't think AO3 should be moderated in a way that might better protect fans of color."
Having that attitude despite the many, many, MANY fans of colors who say "hey, we don't feel safe here, can this be better moderated to protect us?" (when, by the way, the existing harassment policy SHOULD protect them but clearly isn't being implemented in ways that actually DOES protect them!)
Well. That's sure a take.
(TO BE CLEAR: I am anti-censorship. I am pro-moderation. I am pro-AO3. I fucking love your dark fic, your underage works, your non-con stories, your kinky pwp with "no redeeming qualities," your dirty-wrong-bad ego fics. I would NEVER want a solution that removed that content. And I believe AO3 is the greatest thing to happen to fic in my lifetime and I want it to continue to be the wonderful thing it is. I think that what AO3 already is can be reconciled with the demands of fans of color that they be better protected. I believe fans of color when they say that the current policies don't protect them adequately, that they don't feel safe, that this drives them out of white western fandom. I've listened a lot, and I've seen a lot, and I've learned a lot, and I want AO3 to be better than it is in this regard. I'm honestly kinda depressed how many people seem comfortable with the status quo.)
#unforth rambles#racism#end racism in the otw#end otw racism#the specific post i saw made me so angry it's taken me the better part of a week to cool down enough to speak coherently about it#way to write a HUGE post that all starts from a very false premise#well two false premises actually#the first is that the end otw racism movement is calling for content to be deleted#which it's not literally no one is saying read billions of words of fanfic to protect fans of color#that's an absurd thing to say and everyone involved knows it's absurd so nice straw man#but even more fundamental than that HELLO THERE IS ALREADY HEAVY MODERATION#enforce the rules that are ALREADY THERE#BE MORE TRANSPARENT ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING#these are not unreasonable requests#i'm really starting to think some people can't be bothered to actually read what's being asked for#and are instead seeing what they want to see there#and to be clear i also am surely reading the text with rose-colored glasses#i don't want to see yes we mean deletion yes we mean removal#i personally want a solution that's both as anti-censorship as possible and also is pro moderation and protects people#so that's the lens I read things through#but I KNOW the lens I'm reading it through and I KNOW that lens may be coloring my interpretations#have you taken a moment to take off your glasses and see how they might be coloring your own intepretations#because maybe you should
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Fic: Brilliant Things
While Rook is trapped in the Fade prison, Johanna and Emmrich are forced to help each other overcome their own regrets. DRAGON AGE | EMMRICH & JOHANNA; EMMROOK | WORDS: 4,553 | RATED: G
(AO3 LINK)
It’s pathetic, really. Volkarin has always been a soft touch, but this snivelling is something else.
Despite her own prodigious knowledge of anatomy and the undead, Johanna had not known the human body capable of making such a hideous racket prior to the events of these past few days. Corpses do not weep, and even if they did, she hardly cares.
The worst part isn’t even that she’s reduced to mere ornamentation in the already ostentatious study of one of Nevarra’s greatest necromancers, forced to watch him burn a hole in the floorboards with each anguished thump, thump, thump of his feet as he teeters at the edge of a nervous breakdown borne by the weight of his own misplaced compassion. No, this part was inevitable. Volkarin had always been destined to crack one day—she just wished she could have been the one to cause it.
No, the absolute worst part, worse than having been denied the opportunity to gloat over her lifelong rival, is that despite the circumstances, the lovelorn fool’s dedication to his Watcher duties have been thorough to a fault. Johanna has of course tested the wards binding her soul to her remains multiple times; she’d been trying to escape before this most recent escalation in their circumstances, it would be downright idiotic not to try when facing down the end of the world as they know it. Especially while her only hope at salvation rubs his red-rimmed eyes and mutters inconsolably under his breath, unwilling to accept that it is in fact his infernal meddling which has doomed them all.
It’s simple, really: if Volkarin had just stayed out of her way, left her alone, Johanna would still have her beautiful bone construct—the culmination of her life’s work—with which she would’ve had the power to raise an army of undead to defeat this so-called god, this Elgar’nan.
But Volkarin had possessed the sheer nerve to outplay her at the most inopportune moment. Although she’s ordinarily capable of giving credit where it’s due, she cannot respect the lack of long-term strategy. Of all moments to finally locate his own backbone! Volkarin had always been like that, though. Capable of surpassing his own self-imposed limitations given the correct impetus. What else could one expect from such a hot-headed, idealistic man as he. Ugh. And couple that all that with a new paramour, a bright-eyed young thing surely twenty years his junior, it’s no wonder Volkarin’s been distracted (but not distracted enough) of late.
What needs to be done now is plainly obvious to Johanna, or indeed, anyone with half a functioning brain. For whatever reason, everyone in this crackpot team of would-be heroes that Volkarin has somehow gotten himself mixed up in relies on Rook, even though Johanna’s not sure what the impudent whelp brings to the team, other than a tendency to meddle which rivals even Volkarin’s. And as the group’s resident expert on the Fade, Volkarin is the most well-placed to tear a hole in reality itself to locate his misplaced lover. Even Johanna can see that would make for a most romantic story indeed, and she doesn’t even read that sort of dreck.
But it’s clear to Johanna that Volkarin is functioning at perhaps one-tenth of his usual operating capacity, compromised as he is by needless sentimentality. Of course, the type of man who would sacrifice not only his lifelong dream—immortality itself!— for a mere wisp, of all things, would struggle without the guidance of a more indomitable hand.
And in Rook’s absence, the task falls to Johanna. Unfortunately. Here she’d hoped her days of solving Emmrich Volkarin’s problems for him were over, but no matter. Unlike Volkarin, Johanna Hezenkoss does not shy away from necessary evils.
As always, she chooses her words carefully, delicately balancing dramatic effect and efficiency.
“You know this is entirely your fault, don’t you?”
Volkarin stops dead in his tracks as though she’d just punched him. The respite from his infernal pacing is most pleasant indeed, and she’s elated by the knowledge she can still instil such a reaction in him even while bereft of limbs.
Expression jumping from shock to outrage and then, most curiously, to acceptance, Volkarin raises two fingers to rub at his temples, quietly answering, “I know.”
Johanna’s mandibles clench tightly and it is only with some difficulty that she manages to relax them. For Volkarin to admit his failings so readily, the situation must be worse than she had feared. “And what do you have to say for yourself?” she asks instead. The last thing she needs him to know is that she’s worried.
Volkarin averts his gaze as he hunches into himself. She remembers the stance well from his days as a young child at the Necropolis. “I should have confessed the truth to Rook while I had the chance,” he admits in the most mournful, pitiful tone that makes even Johanna feel sorry for him as much as it makes her want to vomit, if she were still capable of such a thing.
While it’s not quite the answer she’d hoped for—then again, Volkarin would never debase himself by offering her a proper apology for everything he’d put her through—it’s one Johanna can work with nonetheless. Doing her best approximation of a tongue-clicking noise, she replies, “Don’t tell me you’re still hung up on that argument you had with your paramour.”
As planned, the words bait him back into action with a sputter. Back straightening and fingers curling into the palms of his ungloved and unadorned hands, he snaps, “Still hung up on—” before cutting himself off and pinching the bridge of his nose as he breathes deeply to regulate his emotions, the same exercises they’d been taught as apprentices. Johanna had never cared much for them.
The next words that come out of Volkarin’s mouth throw her for a loop. “Have you ever been in love, Johanna?”
One of the downsides of no longer having muscles or tendons is the inability to answer questions through exaggerated facial expressions alone. As much as it pains her to lend legitimacy to this line of inquiry, there’s a frightening intensity in his eyes suggestive of a commitment to this topic of conversation. She suspects he won’t accept a total deflection, or worse, that such an attempt might set off his moping again.
That still doesn’t mean it’s any of his blasted business. The time to be asking these types of questions was thirty years ago, not now. “I’m familiar with the concept,” she says acridly, hoping it’s enough to satisfy his curiosity before swiftly adding, “Not that I see how it’s of any relevance.”
Of course, Volkarin simply can’t leave it there. Instead, his lips purse, the look he now fixes Johanna with one of mixed pity and disappointment.
Infuriating man, to think such condescension could possibly affect her!
“Then you would know what it feels like,” he continues quietly, “to leave such matters unresolved with no resolution.”
Of course he would turn it around on her: a most pathetic and transparent attempt to make this an exercise in ‘practicing empathy’ instead of learning to properly communicate himself. She deftly avoids the obvious trap, cutting to the chase instead.
“You’re an idiot,” she states cleanly, simply. There’s a lack of malice in her words that surprises even her.
Volkarin must sense it too, because even though his body visibly tenses at the accusation, his reaction is short-lived. Instead, he allows his shoulders to slump—terrible posture, really—before running a hand through his tousled hair, the action accentuating the dark circles beneath his eyes. Finally, he sighs, a little huff of intermingled acceptance and defeat. Pinching the bridge of his nose once more, he answers, “I’m afraid you’ll have to explain yourself, Johanna.”
Now she’s really concerned, and even more adamant about not admitting it. Esteemed Professor Volkarin, inviting her to lecture? She’d never thought she’d see the day. Preening nonetheless, she doesn’t bother to disguise the elation from her voice as she points out the obvious. “Your paramour is trapped physically in the Fade, correct?”
Volkarin blinks; it’s too difficult for Johanna to distinguish whether he’s simply concentrating or staving off a fresh wave of tears, so she doesn’t bother.
“Correct,” he answers, fingers rubbing at his chin now, itching at the three-day-old growth which is a sight bewildering to even Johanna.
She does her best to continue ignoring the absurdity of it all as she continues. “And my understanding is that you are indeed Professor Volkarin of the Mourn Watch, one of Thedas’s leading experts on the properties of said Fade, are you not?”
The masseter muscle in Volkarin’s jaw twitches. “I don’t see where you’re going with this.”
“You always did lack a certain vision,” she says with a sigh which could be described as downright nostalgic. “I simply ask, what would happen were the situation reversed? If you were the one trapped in the Fade?”
Volkarin’s face softens, lips twisted into a smile so besotted it sickens her. “Rook would stop at nothing less than breaking into the Fade barehanded.” Johanna watches him expectantly as his eyes widen in realisation and he mutters, “Oh. Oh dear.”
It would, of course, be too much to hope for him to actually admit that she had a point, that she was in fact, entirely correct as always. “You always did give up far too easily,” she admonishes instead. “I’m frankly astonished you ever got anything done without me.”
Not only does he have to the gall to ignore her reprimand, he even adds to her immense displeasure by resuming his infernal pacing. There he goes, thump, thump, thump against the floorboards again. All take and no give, just as always.
A newfound wave of frustration pulses through Johanna’s consciousness and she’s hardly a patient person to begin with. “You know, when I told you this situation was entirely your fault, I wasn’t talking about the missteps you’ve made in your pathetic love life.” There’s a new vigour—an urgency—to his steps when he finally deigns to face her. His hands together with frenetic energy. “Johanna, this is hardly the time. There’s so much to set in motion—”
No. Absolutely not.
She refuses to be overlooked again.
Shouting over him, she demands to be heard. “YOU. RUINED. EVERYTHING.”
But Volkarin still won’t be diverted and waves a hand as though before himself as though to dismiss her accusations. What’s downright infuriating is the confirmation that this infatuation with some youth he’s known for less than six months means more to him than all the years they’d spent working together. He pulls books off their shelves with alarming velocity, muttering titles under his breath that Johanna can’t quite decipher.
Never one to back down from a challenge, Johanna tries again. “If only there was more at stake than locating your lost paramour,” she hedges.
Volkarin continues to ignore her, but she can see his hands shake.
She makes another attempt, but this time she doesn’t even bother to disguise any lingering traces of bitterness evident in her voice. Not that she had been holding back on purpose, of course. It’s simply a most peculiar situation in which they find themselves. “If only you had an old friend with practical experience in creating receptive Fade eddies.”
A sharp intake of breath. Aha! A reaction! He doesn’t look at her yet. “What do you suggest?”
She’s not going to let him off that easily. “I don’t know. I didn’t realise you were seeking my opinion on the matter.”
“Johanna.” He finally turns from the bookshelf, pushing back unruly locks of hair from his forehead. “I could not have expressed myself any more clearly.” “Only because I had to do nearly all the work of leading you there!” she snaps back in return. Despite her gnawing frustration, there’s comfort in the familiarity of their conflict, the back-and-forth, the diametric oppositions of their world views.
Johanna will never, ever admit it aloud, but she has missed him. Not that it means she wants to spend the rest of his life trapped in his study, mind you.
But still, better this than death, better this than the cowardice Volkarin had embraced with open arms. For all that the good professor harps on about morality, of propriety, of decorum, of kindness, the real difference between them is that Volkarin is little more than a persnickety academic, but Johanna is the true innovator. An inventor. Her experiments speak for themselves. Yes, her aptitude for the more experiential aspects of their art had resulted in her current predicament, but failure is only ever a temporary setback, so long as the fundamental nature of existence remains intact.
And right now, that can't be relied upon. Elgar’nan had changed the trajectory of the moon itself! Even Johanna balks at such audacity.
It's only then that she realises Volkarin has been silent too long, which is entirely suspicious for a man who so adores the sound of his own voice. But at least he isn’t snivelling again. No, instead his forehead is furrowed deep in thought, fingers scratching at his chin once more.
“Careful,” she warns.
Volkarin blinks, his attention snapping back to her. “What is it?”
“You’ll hurt yourself, thinking that hard about it.”
Strangely, he begins to smile. Maddening man! “I suppose it would be too much to hope for you to simply help me out of mere goodwill.”
Something about his tone and his expression manages to get under her skin even though she no longer has any. “Obviously. You know me better than that.”
“But you are considering offering lending your knowledge to our cause due to the mutually-aligned nature of our interests.” “I would’ve used less words,” she answers in agreement. He holds up an index finger as though about to lecture, but it’s evident in his posture that he’s barely able to restrain himself from pacing again. That he does manage to do so is a point in his favour, for now. “You’ve certainly made clear your opinion on my relationship with Rook.” When she opens her mouth to interject, he raises the other fingers on his hand, and despite herself, Johanna falls silent and allows him to continue. “Which brings me to the realisation your motive was to provide a distraction from my grief so I could recalibrate and continue on the necessary work that must be done in Rook’s … absence.”
While she’s glad to hear Volkarin’s voice tremble as he dances around the topic of the void Rook has left in his otherwise obviously miserable life, the fact that it even does so still rankles her. Even more frustrating is Volkarin ascribing emotions and feelings to her that she does not possess, as though he’s some sort of Chantry sister instead of a powerful necromancer. “I just wanted to stop the racket,” she snaps.
“Be that as it may, I couldn’t help but notice your choice of topic.” He sighs again, an exhalation of air that’s heavier than any of the noises she’s heard him make throughout their entire conversation. His shoulders slump. It makes her wish she could slap him with a ruler.
“For what it’s worth,” he continues, “I am sorry. Sorry lichdom failed you. Sorry you were unable to reach out to me. I amespecially sorry you felt the need to conquer the capital in order to attract my attention.” When he lifts his gaze to look at her properly, she is surprised to find his eyes glittering with a mischief that makes her feel thirty years younger. “Forgive me, but I am unaccustomed to receiving overtures of friendship disguised as attempted acts of war.”
She has told herself many times over the years that she has always hated him. She wants to continue hating him the same way she has survived these last decades in his absence. But in this moment, something within her breaks. Perhaps it’s the way they’re hovering on the precipice of the end of the world, or maybe it’s even the way Volkarin’s eyes resemble a baby labrador’s.
As it turns out, even she is not entirely immune to the proximity of Emmrich Volkarin’s moral fortitude. Everything according to the Mourn Watch’s plan, no doubt. Oh, she’s not an idiot: she knows why it’s his office in which she has been assigned to complete this part of her penance, even if Volkarin pretends they’re still figuring out the details. All these years of exile but still trapped by the consequences of oaths she had made when she had been much younger and more naïve.
The realisation should really disgust her but she finds herself devoid of her usual anger and envy, bitterness and rage. She realises, too late, what it is that has broken inside her: the dam that had kept any other most inconvenient emotions at bay.
A wave of vulnerability crashes over her and she is powerless to stop it. Her next words slip out of her before she’s even had time to think.
“You abandoned me.” Once spoken aloud, she wishes for nothing more than the ability to take the words back, if only to stop Volkarin staring at her like she’s just kicked him. The flame of hatred she holds for him at her core begins to flicker back to life.
“Johanna, I….”
“Don’t you dare apologise to me!” she screams. Maker, she’d throttle him if she could. Discrete emotions become increasingly difficult to identify, she only knows that she’s been knocked off course and discombobulated despite only trying to help for once. She feels seven years old again, lost and scared in the chambers of the Grand Necropolis, hating all these stuffy mages and their prim propriety, hating the newfound knowledge that such arcane energies filled her veins as well. The only friendly face a shy boy not much older than herself, and she’d helped him out of his shell with her façade of fearlessness.
And in turn, she had watched as he had become one of them.
“You don’t understand,” she hisses. She chances a look directly at his eyes again. He’s patient. Waiting. Despite it all, he wants to understand. Damn him.
But whether Johanna is capable of letting herself be understood is shakier ground, part of a vast expanse of uncharted territory that lies between them.
Putting it as bluntly as she can, she simply states, “Your parents died. Your parents loved you.”
Volkarin steeples his hands together, comprehension dawning on his features despite what continues to be left unsaid between them. “Ah. I—you never did tell me how you came to live at the Grand Necropolis.”
She scoffs. “What was there to tell? It’s only the same tale from all over Thedas. Parents have child. Parents don’t want a child with magic. Pah!” A surge of resentment swells within her. Why is she talking about this? Why is she talking about this with him? She hasn’t so much as thought about this in years. It hardly matters now. Just look at everything she’s achieved! She’s fifty-one years young and she’s going to live forever.
The thoughtful expression has returned to Volkarin’s face, and she’s grateful to find herself capable of hating it again. “You told me you were born near Perendale.” Why does he even remember that? Regretting ever telling him anything about herself, she answers, “I don’t see how that’s relevant.” Next he was going to be asking her whether she had ever been in love again. Why did he always insist on meddling in matters that didn’t concern him!
“That’s no insignificant distance to travel, especially with a young child in tow.”
“As though you’re an expert on travelling with young children,” she answers hotly, before recalling that pet skeleton of his. The way he doted on it, Johanna would be unsurprised to discover that Volkarin had indeed mistaken it for a real boy. Very magnanimously, she decides against saying this part aloud.
She just wishes Volkarin would let the topic drop. In the past, she’d always retreated whenever he had threatened to dismantle her walls and bluster with his disaffecting sincerity and dogged determination.
But now, she is at his mercy. And she knows—better than anyone—that despite his spotty track record at seeing through his commitments, Volkarin is nothing if not thorough. He’s an indecisive man, not a slothful one.
“I simply believe most parents do their best with the resources available to them.” He scratches at the side of his nose. “Most people do, in fact. Even if we cannot, at times, predict the consequences of our actions.” At this, he fixes her with a downright professorial stare.
“I am grateful I wasn’t snatched up by templars,” she begrudgingly admits. “I could have been sent to Kirkwall.”
The corner of Volkarin’s lips twitch. “Perish the thought. I do profess my gratitude that the Mourn Watch was able to take me into their care.”
It’s only when Johanna remains silent that Volkarin appears to realise his mistake. “Ah. Of course. They never did truly appreciate you.”
Volkarin’s words sound downright strange to her until she’s able to identify the anomaly: the phrasing is hers, not his. She continues to say nothing, entirely too suspicious of where he’s beginning to go with this. “And although I wouldn’t, as you said, dare apologise to you, I do want you to know I am aware that it was wrong of me not to speak in your defense when it came to the growing number of censures that had been amassed against you, even though your experiments benefitted my research. If I could redo that time in our lives again, I would have severed our partnership earlier and provided you a proper explanation of my decisions. “I suppose I assumed you would come around to my position on the matter. But I dare say you thought the same as well.” She watches the smooth column of his throat as he swallows nervously. “There was so much I was willing to overlook until I thought the price too high to pay. Naturally, recent events and conversations have elucidated to me that we have vastly different thresholds for such matters.” To say she is stunned is an understatement: that she has allowed him to prattle for this long without interruption is testimony to this fact. But it is even more stunning that to receive a proper explanation for the events that have haunted her for decades from the most conflict-avoidant man she has ever known. Other partnerships are unlikely to be repaired by an admission that they should have separated sooner, but nothing had ever been what one would call normal when it came to the two of them.
As much as it displeases her to admit it, Johanna is certain that Volkarin’s capacity to deliver his soliloquy was driven by Rook’s influence. What other force in this world but love would be strong enough to push a man like Volkarin to the brink of foolhardy bravery?
And while the thought is still annoying, it doesn’t sting as much as it once had.
Thus, it is with nostalgia and not bitterness that she remarks, “We could have done brilliant things together, Emmrich.”
Her use of his first name does not go unnoticed. How could it? His eyebrows raise so high they nearly disappear into his receded hairline. “You haven’t called me that in over thirty years,” he protests.
“And it’ll be thirty more until I use it again,” she insists in return. “Just tell me the truth. Was there ever a moment in time when you appreciated the power and potential at our fingertips? That you thought we could have been the ones to rule this world?”
He averts his gaze. Grinds his teeth. “Yes,” he finally admits. “I saw it. But it would have never been worth the cost.” Johanna scoffs. “There’s always some crackpot trying to take over the world. It might as well have been us. We had the best chance of it. Both of us liches, our knowledge combined, my brilliance counterbalanced with your compassion… There was a reason I kept a bleeding heart like you as a partner for so many years. But I underestimated your sentimentality.” She wouldn’t be making that mistake again, that was for certain. Just look at the situation it had landed her in! She would simply have to figure out how to best wield it to her purposes while she remained trapped here. If Volkarin thought she wasn’t going to continue using every tool at her disposal to facilitate her great escape, then he was sorely mistaken.
“Yes,” Volkarin answers softly, crows’ feet at the corner of his eyes wrinkling as he gazes at her with discomfiting fondness. “I dare say you did. Just as I am guilty at times of underestimating your brilliance.” He swivels on the spot and Johanna is afraid he’s going to resume his pacing but the walk he has in mind for now is mercifully short, only over to the bowl on his desk where he’s deposited the majority of his grave gold.
“What are you doing?” she hisses, hating how urgent her voice sounds to her own consciousness. She always hates it when he behaves erratically.
“I was under the impression we had work to do, my dear.”
“Absolutely not.” Surely it hadn’t been so long he’d forgotten her utter loathing of pet names.
He laughs, then, long and rich. It is a definite improvement on the snivelling. “Force of habit. Won’t happen again,” he promises. “First things first. I do believe you had some knowledge to impart on the practical applications of receptive Fade eddies?”
“Getting ahead of yourself as always, Volkarin,” she says by way of reprimand. “You need a bath. I don’t have olfactory glands and even I can tell that you reek. And a shave.”
He rubs his hand against his chin again, eyes widening as though surprised to find it covered by hair. “Ah! Yes. Thank you.”
“Completely and utterly useless.” This time, she’s disgusted by the tenderness in her own voice. Oh, no, this won’t do at all. “While you’re at it,” she adds, determined to get their shared task back on track, “get the elf girl and your skeleton boy. We’ll need to replace the stolen dagger in order to kill a god. And I don’t know about you, but ancient elven gadgets are hardly my area of expertise.”
“Of course, I’ll speak with Bellara.” His brow furrows. “But why do you want Manfred?”
“Because I don’t have arms, you idiot.” It really does make building things more difficult. And she won’t even be able to inadvertently kill the wisp this time due to the aforementioned lack of limbs. It’ll work perfectly, really.
“Consider it done.”
Not having much other choice in the matter, Johanna watches as Volkarin gathers his bathing supplies and heads towards the door.
It is on the threshold that he pauses and looks back at her, his hazel eyes bright with fiery determination. “I’ve always appreciated you, Johanna Hezenkoss. Let us continue doing brilliant things together.”
And then he is gone, door to his study closing gently shut behind him.
#emmrich volkarin#johanna hezenkoss#emmrook#datv spoilers#therapy doesn't exist in thedas so we have the next best thing: frenemies!#also it is very entertaining to read this through an arospec johanna lens because it then becomes her#not understanding why emmrich (or anyone) bothers with love#until she sees how it helps him overcome his fear lmfao. still not her cuppa tho#but i prefer to leave these things open to interpretation unless they're the centerpiece of the fic :>#anyway! lemme know what you think <3#ziskfic
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[Fic Book Covers 11+12/?] Integrative Approaches by Nnm / @mouseonamoose
Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma
As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following: --His clothing was expensive and stylish; --He wore very strange but noticeable cologne; --His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;” --He looked angry; --He was wearing sunglasses. What Aubrey Thyme, a professional, thought, upon first seeing her new client was: you’re going to be a fun one, aren’t you?
Angel-Centered Therapy Through A Multicultural Lens
“I’d love to meet with you,” Davey said, apologetically, when he had been called up by a fellow looking to initiate therapy, “but I’m all booked up for months.” “Are you sure?” The fellow said, through a poor connection that crackled. Davey had been sure. And yet. Right there in his calendar was a blank spot, just a few days away, which he had somehow completely overlooked before. “How about that…I’ve got Wednesday at eleven, if you can make that work.” “What a miracle,” the fellow said, “that would be just the perfect time.”
#fic book cover#fanfic cover#fic rec#good omens#demonology and the tri-phasic model of trauma#angel-centered therapy through a multicultural lens#Nnm#illogical makes#these have been sitting in my drafts for...a long while bc they didn't feel quite right#until i was struck with: they look so brand-new-textbook-right-off-the-shelf. they look too neat and pristine#they need some wear and tear. they need to look like the paperbacks i read 100000 times in middle/high school#and once that was added it really came together imo#anyway. these fics are so lovely & gentle & supportive and i read them at a time when i really needed a story that said w/ its whole self#'things can and will get better. it may be difficult. it may be painful. it may not be the same as it was before. but it will get better.'#so thank you for that <3
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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
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Truly the worst Vaugardian plays are the ones where nothing happens, as the characters spend the whole 2 hours sitting about as they talk at each other, all while the audience hasn't the slightest doubt they can be nowhere but hell.
But while hell is definitely other people...in your experience, a hell you're suck in alone, left the only wise one surrounded by fools, is not a better hell. Not better at all.
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Loop's wish has different wording, and this makes a few things a little different. Mostly it means the Researcher of the group is now looping, while Stardust remains blissfully ignorant. This is certainly the main difference noticed by Loop, who looks at the evidence before then before assuming they're to play stagehand to the Researcher solving of the mystery in record time.
But roles are tricky. Very nearly tricky as wishes.
Sponsor, stagehand, lead actor, audience, critic, fool, traveler, ex-scissor wizard turned star - how absurd for a human to contort themselves to fit a single 'role'! How cruel to for a person to find that no role left they can Change themselves enough to fit!
Ah, but there's no time to wallowing, not when you've one more wish to make - one more desperate GRAB at hope for the play ending, now the greatest ever cosmic joke has been replaced by a smarter actor then you could become even after a million loops.
One, two, THREE - breath in…and out, take a bow to the audience and ready yourself.
The show has once again begun ~ !
#isat#in stars and time#isat loop#my art#like a wheel ever turning au#finally got a cover for the INTRO of this au!#yaaaay!#couldn't figure out the vibes of this one#but it finally clicked for me and now it's done!#that a reading of isat through the lens of the theatre of the absurd is both possible and VERY interesting for the themes#has brought me SO much joy#there is no meaning in the meaningless#and yet without meaning what's left to do but go insane?#people are hell and the only thing worth living for#there is a contraction to every answer and yet without searching regardless stagnation is the only result#...and in the end#no matter the big words#the sheer complexity of the universe#and emptiness of all when broken down into it's smallest atoms#there are still reasons to want to live found in the connections formed with others about us#ha - anyway i should stop failing to write a essay about existentialism and isat in the tags#instead i'll say good luck Loop!#the Universe knows you'll need it <<<333
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seeing ppl on twitter’s takes about snowgrave kriselle makes me want to kill myself oh my godddd “its toxic” “regular kriselle better bc its healthier” DO YOU THINK I WANT TO SEE THEM MUSHY KISS AND BE LOVEY DOVEY AND HUG EACH OTHER??? NO!!! the APPEAL is that adding romantic connotations to their snowgrave relationship (which mind you very much already exists in canon) allow their relationship to become so much more interesting. do i think they’ll become truly endgame canon? do i think they’re in love with each other??? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! AND I DONT WANT THEM TO!!! the POINT is that it’s supposed to be dark and interesting and exploratory of their characters in relation to the deconstruction of autonomy in video games through gender roles and principles of knighthood and the idea of the “damsel in distress”. not to mention that “shipping” regular kriselle and snowgrave kriselle isnt mutually exclusive either. in fact i think understanding both allows you to analyse their relationship much more fully and deeply than without considering the other side. and besides, isnt the fucking point of shipping to explore character relationships??? why would you want to Ignore nuance and depth rather than focus on it???? are you unable to handle anything deeper or darker than like fucking cocomelon??? if you hate character analysis and dark themes in relationships you can head on back there or smth idfk oh my lord i cant fucking TAKE IT ANYMORE
#snowgrave#kriselle#rant#deltarune#this probably comes off as harsh lol#i was going to add its alright if you find snowgrave kriselle uncomfortable for personal reasons#but like sincerely if youre in the utdr fandom and you’ve seen the fucking geno route then i think you can handle this#and not only that but i feel like nowadays fandoms are purposefully trying to get away from darker subject matter and themes#while in the process airbrushing nuance and details in favour of shoving characters into tropes and boxes#all in the name of ‘person comfort’ and ‘preference’#and while i cant control what other people do or ship or whatever#i do think its a sign that we’re leaning far more into anti-intellectualism these days#and people are just completely unwilling to engage with things outside their comfort zone#its okay to have preferences! its fine if you think kriselle is bad!#but like if your only reasoning is that its unhealthy and toxic then idfk what to tell you man#please play/watch/read better media#relationships in media can be toxic and unhealthy and portrayed without romanticisation#kriselle is very much so!#my ideal version of them is that neither of them have feelings for each other at all#neither does the player have any for noelle#the romantic/marriage connotations are there as metaphor for the stripping of autonomy through a forced heterosexual lens#however if they somehow form some fucked up forced conditioning traumabond feelings for each other along the way which fucks things up even#more… now THATS fucking interesting#really gets you questioning the lines between the decisions you make and the ones they make of their own volition#suselle completely endgame though#i just like analysing kriselle more LOL
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Law thought he'd need to change the world to honor Cora's sacrifice
But he was already living Cora's legacy: Simply by being with the people he loves, the family he created for himself in the wake of Cora setting him free
You'd almost expect Law to wander alone for years after Cora's death. And in a different story? I think that's likely what would've happened so the MC could finally show him what love means
But Law met Bepo and the others within a few days of Cora's death
And so Law fulfilled Cora's dying wish — continued to fulfill that wish everyday after that, even — without ever realizing it. There is something so devastatingly beautiful about that
#It's the intrinsic value in all of us#the relationships we create#and how those things truly ARE enough when viewed through the lens of unconditional love#/CLENCHES FIST AND CRIES#To understand what the heart pirates represent; I think you really need to read between the lines#People get hung up on power-scaling but that stuff is honestly SO irrelevant here??#in the same way whether Law would change the world was irrelevant to Cora.#It's simply about how much Law loves them#and how much they adore him in turn 🥹#trafalgar law#hearts pirates#bepo#corazon#donquixote rocinante#one piece#my meta#text post
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no one FREAKING understands jo march and friedrich bhaer the way i do
#pickle pontificates#little women#it's always so so hard for me to read or listen to discussion of little women because even if people have good points#or sound interpretations#i have yet to hear anyone that sees what i see in that specific aspect of it#it's always ''jo should have gotten with laurie'' or more recently ''jo should never have gotten with anyone''#and while i understand the emotion behind the former and acknowledge the truth behind the latter#i am tired of hearing about both of those and wish someone would come along with me and see what i see in the third option#because i feel like there's a lot of really interesting stuff to unpack there through a certain lens#and i think i'd be okay at doing it. at least amateurly#i can't elaborate right now because it's been ages since i've read the books and i would like it to be fresh so i can do it justice#but i have read little women + little men + jo's boys many times over#and this is one of the few media properties that i am actually very snobbish over#i like to think i'm the number one jo march understander.#is that an incredibly hubristic thing to say about a classic novel that's been discussed to death for a century and a half. yes#but let me have this one#edit: lol i checked to see if I've ever posted about little women on here before and the only other thing was about this exact topic#back in 2019#i'm nothing if not consistent apparently
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I go off about Catholic/christian religious influencers of all kinds and I do so for many reasons but one of the main ones is just. the feeling they’re selling (and it is a feeling and they’re selling it, even if just for views) it doesn’t feel like that for everyone. That whole simplistic set-up of struggle struggle struggle, breakthrough, clarity, emotional peace, tears streaming down the face. That’s not real. Or at least it’s not real much of the time in MANY cases and even when it is real that isn’t the only part or the most important part of having a relationship with God. It’s probably the least important part, the feeling. and so it fills me with RAGE when the emotional part of religion is sold and packaged and paraded and presented on Instagram as “inspiration”! it distorts the whole reality of a relationship with God and puts a literal and figurative Instagram filter over the whole thing.
#I mean. pray in silence where your Father who is in Heaven can see you. like??????#I’m sure I’m getting the direct reference wrong but.#anyways it just bugs me so much because I’m a highly emotional and intense person and religious experiences just aren’t like that for me#and faith isn’t like that for me. and it just isn’t this soft-hearted feel-good thing all the time!!!!!!!! most of the time it isn’t#and it makes me feel sooooooo bad and awful when some Instagram influencer with woman femininity or grace in her handle#shows up in my feed ready to talk about the waters that the Lord has led her through#like I can’t even begin to articulate my own journey with God#nor do I feel compelled to do so. but seeing other people do it makes me feel so instantly awful and alienated#and …. grubby#it makes me feel grubby because I am not seeing the world through soft pastels and lens flares#and because I don’t experience God’s love for me as a feeling#never have probably never WILL#and it’s just upsetting and maddening and I think it’s so bad for the culture#also I’ve started reading a little bit of st. Francis de sales every night#much against my will at first because pretty much all spiritual reading makes me bristle and makes me anxious#but honestly it’s been so good and he finds that kind of insta-influencing DEAD#because it isn’t fake and it isn’t performative and it is practical#and generally it’s realistic and hopeful and simple#anyway just ughhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have so many feelings about this
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my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator
#rei#volo#cheren#// tikposting#// character meta#the crowd booes me off the stage#forgive the pun XDDD his name is too easy to pun on#the way i write it it's not a conscious choice. it's just how the pov character (rei) experiences and contextualises the world#revealing backstory and personality and mindset through narration !!!!#not necessarily out of malice it's just. how he views things#interpreting new and foreign experiences through the lens of what came before...#conversations which read differently to different people.#in the context of rei that's stuff like unease around authority figures#always choosing his words carefully to project an image of competence (he has to be needed)#distrust and not taking things at face value but also paradoxically a fragile and nurtured sense of almost blind optimism#when it comes to friendships. like volo. (everyone turned on me when the sky turned red but it all resolved itself in the end didn't it?)#(what makes this different? / a lot of things. / i choose to believe)#volo [directly]: “i won't be stopped from my goal” rei thoughts: we can work with this!!!!#and everything with Arceus too and his divine blessings and a plan that will work out in the end#if Rei can just... figure out what part he's meant to play. interpreting events as a narrative hurtling towards some unknown conclusion#i am talking about rei here specifically but this writing device is so good in general#would be fun to try get inside volo's head. there's so much going on there i don't understand yet#quite fond of that one analysis post about how volo lacks emotional intelligence and sees relationships as transactions#not necessarily out of malice it's just how he views things. whether because of past experience or brain chemistry#also need to give a shout to cheren my guy who is an outsider pov who projects his own experiences onto new things so that he Understands#(an outsider to Hilbert and N's clash of truth and ideals. life changing experience and knowledge but felt just a little off to the left)#(the narrative repeated again with new heroes. all he can do is help them but it falls on their shoulders in the end)#(no wonder he tries to insert himself into Situations)#anyway tag ramble over feel free to also ramble to me about your takes XD#rei pokemon
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I'm convinced the chorus trilogy gaslighted people into forgetting how everyone was characterized prior to miles being the main writer, to the detriment of literally everybody lmao
#rvb#red vs blue#mine#this is not to say miles is a bad writer#but rather he is only one of rvb's multiple writers and his writing style is very different from burnie's#so imo looking at characters solely through the lens of miles writing style is a disservice to them as while his recontextualization of som#characters works very well for others...not so much. miles' interpretation of some characters conflict with burnie's interpretation#and these conflicts result in two very different readings of the same character that are imo fundamentally different from one another#wash and sarge are two examples that immediately come to mind but I dont feel like diving into that atm#though I don't think sarge is as bad off as wash during chorus (s10 is wash's worst season) since he was already goofy af#but being regulated solely to comedic relief when his issues with not being considered a real soldier#in combination with the knowledge that he was once an odst would've been SO FUCKING COOL to explore on chorus#he would've been a way better foil to locus than wash#I hate the whole wash/locus foil thing in general though so I might just be biased lol
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qantoine’s coping mechanism to feeling left behind being both self-isolating and becoming possesive of those he cares for is so juicy as a concept . like yeah you go you funky creachure, manifest those complicated and sometimes contradictory emotions
#anyone remember that one fanart of qantoine like . grabbing onto qetoiles and covering his mouth antoine reposted to his insta story .#anyone wonder what was up with that . like he reposted fanarts every now and again but like . that one specifically was such a Choice on hi#part . fantastic fanart btw it occupies space in my brain still#but yeah god . i think qantoine’s self-isolation (+ his secrecy the way he struggled generally to connect with others etc)#was the more obvious Thing he did as a coping mechanism . but damn were those smaller moments of possessiveness interesting#bc you could often just read it as protectiveness instead and well it Was that . but i think it becomes even more interesting if u read it#through a possesive lens . theyre two sides of the same coin anw it just depends on where the limit between the two lies for u#anw i think it manifested itself most obviously with pomme bc a parent-child relationship lends itself to that dynamic more . ough some goo#moments there i’d need to revist their relationship more . ‘je te connais comme si je t’avais créé’ which just has layers of potential#meaning . if you subscribe to the theory that qantoine had a hand in creating the eggs then that adds even More to the potential#possessiveness there . love it#and it manifested with qfrench too i think just in more subtle ways . like idk when there were implications he’d done a Thing to help them#out in some way . like the implication that he had a hand in getting ayp out of prison that one time . or when he was protective of etoiles#during prison . or even moments where he failed to achieve some sort of level of power over them like when bagz and ayp broke into his#secret room and he kept giving bagz the cold shoulder when she was trying to apologise to him 😭 . idk stuff like that . semi petty bitch#energy . but i LOVE the idea of this eldritch dude who’s still figuring out how mortal relationships work kinda just . being too possessive#too controlling . all in the effort to try and keep them in One Piece . and maybe in the end it won’t matter How he keeps them safe as long#as he manages to . he’s old as hell and he’s probably gonna outlive them and theyre all so fragile and small . they won’t see the bigger#picture so he’ll have to make sure he’s manoeuvring them around inside it correctly . <- absolute hc territory in the end there but it’s#very fun to think about :P#jay rambles#antoine daniel#qfrench.posting
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@fushiglow hmm….wonder who i’d draw this for all of a sudden and why… 🤔🤔
#your reblog surprised me#THREE BUNS SUGURU (STAR WARS ER JUST FOR YOU!)#theyre covering riko or smt and smuggling her places (??)#drawing this i was like ‘oh suguru’s curses in a star wars environment should be robots and stuff#so this suguru is a mecanic (he makes them from scrappy parts people have thrown out#and trash materials (and hard work 😎)#diy pokemon#because what is the cursed energy people are letting out if not junk theyre letting go of#so yeah ; basic geto takes shit and turns it useful#i do realise thats already very generic for star wars (junk robots junk robots!) but like. yknow. this guy takes shit people wouldnt bother#trying to sell. miam. junk of the junk. geto my favourite recycling bin you were designed for a luxurious lifestyle clearly (gege not me!)#(and stuff…………. but im lazy to put my vision in words rn hah..)#gojo’s probably a princess#(let’s not lie. hes basically a prince already (clan heir is a different look on him))#this made me want to write ?.??#problem is i dont remember much about star wars (watched it as a kid (we have the cds) appart from the very basic storyline… i forgot 😔#then theres the jawa’s first appearance cuz for some reason they scared me and i am marked for life (THEYRE JUST SILLY LITTLE GUYS 😭😭))#thankfully i lowkey want to rewatch everything so these issues can be fixed#(unthankfully either way the chance of me writing anything is very slim BUT WE NEVER KNOW RIGHT)#(hashtag diverging your attention from that other older post is it working /j/j)#omg glo i still didnt read balance (i think of it from time to time but im intimidated to read it because i know its right up my alley and#that i will love it and lately idk why but i need to ready myself emotionally to read peak fiction (this is so dumb but its true 😭😭))#my bad im rambling lol#WAIT FUCK SAME THING FOR BUNNY’S RECENT THINGY THAT GOT IN MY AO3 UPDATE MAIL#A LOVE STORY TOLD THROUGH THE LENS OF A THIRD PARTY MY BELOVED#(itsg ive searchef for these types of stories in advanced search before#AND NOW THAT I HAVE SOME BY AUTHORS I ALREADY ADORE .. IM- I SEE THEM BUT. THEIR CONTENTS STAY A MYSTERY. IS THIS MY BODY SUBCONSCIOUSLY FI#FIGHTING THE TEAR LOSS I WOULD GET??? IS THIS MFING [BALLING-MY-EYES-OUT] PREVENTION !? WITHOUT MY PERMISSION..!? TCH!)#my bad. ramble again o7 — see ya glo !#wip
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Favourite Fleet & Clara quotes from High Vaultage
(Page numbers from my Goldsboro special edition, I'm not sure how they line up with page numbers in other versions. Spoilers for all of High Vaultage.)
p27: Clara had met Fleet only weeks before. She had just arrived in London and started work as a crime reporter, and pursued a murder case alongside Fleet despite his repeated objections, until he eventually conceded - as Clara had known he would - that they were making a good team, and furthermore proposed - as she hadn't a clue he would - that they go into business together.
p51: "There you are, Fleet. Where have you been?" / Fleet paused, made some confused looks between Clara and the room he had just left, and finally pointed at the door. "Isn't this the waiting room for detectives whose partners have run off? They were quite a few of us in there. Quite a lot in common." / Clara suppressed a grin into something more disapproving. "You're not as funny as you think you are, Inspector." (More below the cut.)
p70: [After Clara successfully sneaks into the Iron Bridge Club] [Fleet] should have known Clara would make it in. Her tenacity had been clear to him since she had first left the police roping at a crime scene of his. It was one of the things he admired about her, even if she didn't always check whether there was somewhere to land.
p76: [After Clara's business card strategies work on Cosgrove] Fleet glanced at Clara. She grinned back, eyes wild with pride, before tapping her bag and mouthing the word 'Posner'.
p116: [After Professor McCabe says “Top marks, Miss Entwhistle”] Clara beamed, and flashed her eyebrows at Fleet while elbowing him in the ribs.
p132: "Don't think you can shake me off, Inspector. I'll come with you." / " I'm not trying to shake you off. It's just late, Clara.” / "You're always trying to shake me off. Ever since we met. Despite my constant usefulness." / "I'd say occasional usefulness," replied Fleet, maintaining a straight face. / Clara, with some effort, twisted her grin into something approximating outrage. "Frequent usefulness, surely!" / "No, but I'll agree to "regular usefulness"." / "Deal.” / “And I asked you to join me in business, Clara. If I'd wanted to shake you off, that's a poor way to go about it."
p154: [From Fleet's POV] Clara really was the sort of person - indeed the only person he knew - who could find genuine joy and wonder in a building site.
p172: [When Clara fears for her life at the display of the Lanterns] She thought of her brother, her sister, her parents... Her ridiculous detective.
p176-178: Clara without her usual pep was almost unrecognisable. [...] Normally that sort of reply would at least elicit some playful scolding. Fleet grew concerned. [...] "Do you want to talk about it?" [...] " What do you want to talk about?" [...] He tried to think of more options. Not talking about things was Fleet's speciality, but for Clara this signalled a worrying malaise. Things were dire. He was going to have to resort to small talk. "Would you like to hear about my day?" A brief pause. "Yes," she replied, with a note of hope [...] Fleet remembered the mess he was in before he switched to the task of cheering up Clara.
p184: When he saw her, she noticed his eyes were shining with a rare zeal, and he appeared bursting to explain whatever he was thinking.
p187: Fleet had, after all, taken her under his wing, even if she did have to thrust herself there initially. She thought about the door plaque he’d had engraved with both their names on it as his way of inviting her to be his business partner – typical Fleet, refusing to tell her so much as his favourite breakfast food and then to go and do something like that. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her.
p201: [After Fleet sees a magpie get electrocuted] Fleet looked at Clara, who thankfully had been facing the other way.
p214: [After Fleet falls into the frozen river] Clara, removing her cape and placing it over Fleet's shoulders
p225: [Clara] had read several books on the subject - Surreptitious Sleuthing, Introduction to Ingression, Undetectable Detection, to name a few - but she always seemed to pick up more from her partner, whose years in the police had left him full of [useful tricks].
p235: [While navigating the Brunellian tunnels for the first time] "I still think my way is more fun." / "Escape, Clara. Escape and then fun." / "That's a promise, Fleet. You've promised it now.”
p259: “That's too much topiary,” said Fleet [...] Clara's eyes lit up at this rare revelation of a personal opinion from her colleague. “I didn't know you had such strong views on topiary, Fleet.”
p293: [When Crowe increases how much he'd be willing to pay them to investigate on his behalf] Fleet knew his answer, but felt he had to see whether Clara was still in agreement. He looked to her, only to be met with an expression of astonishment that he had taken even this long to respond.
p337: [After their falling out] Where do you even begin, she thought, let alone end, with someone you've worked with so closely?
p338: [After they squash the scone Fleet brought Clara as part of his apology] "You want me to eat an exploded scone!" cried Clara, stifling laughter.”/ “I think it says a lot if you refuse.” / “Fine,” she said, grabbing the bag, pulling out the crushed scone and taking an enormous bite. / The corners of Fleet's mouth twitched. Clara was sure he almost laughed.
p341: [Before they go into the Church of the Mechanical Man to look for Helena Evans] Clara smiled, and punched him in the shoulder. / "Ow! What was that for?" / Clara realised that in her excitement at Fleet's plan she had landed her friendly thump with rather more power than intended, so she clarified: "You're a good one, Fleet.”
p371: [After Fleet gets shot in the shoulder] Fleet thought he heard Clara scream his name, but he couldn't be sure. Suddenly she was next to him, checking his shoulder.
p371-372: Clara turned to Fleet. “Now I have an idea.” / “What kind of idea?” / “A terrible idea. Just the worst idea I've ever had.” / Fleet looked towards the distant exit, which could barely be seen beyond the fire, and then back to Clara. “I like it.”
p373: [As they anticipate an oncoming wave of molten metal] Fleet felt a sensation he did not recognise. Something like calm. Then Clara took his hand and turned him towards her. For some insufferable reason she was smiling again. He couldn't help but return it. [...] Fleet realised Clara still had his hand firmly in hers, and she seemed to be saying something at him that he couldn't hear. He tried to listen, but she stopped speaking, shook her head, threw her arms around him and hauled him down onto the ground.
p375: [When Clara won't tell Fleet whether she knew they were going to be saved by Helena Evans] “And you don't think this might affect how likely I am to trust your plans in the future?” / “Does it?” asked Clara. [...] “No,” said Fleet. “It doesn't.”
p381: Clara stiffened her posture, as though she might salute. "Archibald Fleet, I challenge you to a battle of business." / "We're partners, Clara. We're on the same side." / "A point for whoever solves a case first! More for trickier ones!" / "But we work together..." / "Let battle commence!" she cried.
#High Vaultage#Victoriocity#Clara Entwhistle#Archibald Fleet#There's just so much care and affection and trust and respect and understanding and humour between them#in the midst of all their differences#One of the nice things about the move to book format#is the chance to see more inside the characters' heads and to know more about their body language#And you can really tell the attention they pay to each other#like all of the times one of them looks over to the other to check in or to express a feeling#Almost all of the times Fleet smiles or almost-smiles in the book are at something Clara says or does#I had a system of pencil symbols for annotating as I was reading#e.g. an asterisk for every bit that made me laugh#a little heart for the sweet moments for character dynamics#so this is a good chunk but not even all of the lines with hearts next to them#Btw I'm in the process of writing a long ass post about the potential to read Fleet and Clara's dynamic through a QPR lens#which I'll post after all the S3 episodes are officially out#I guess lmk if you would like to be tagged in that#Inspector Fleet#Clara & Fleet
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byakuya togami is someone who suffered through a competition that didn't recognize family ties or status, and so in the events of thh he believes he exists as a being outside of the game - not that he thinks he's not a participant, but he's more like someone who is above all the others. someone who's seen this scenario before and knows how it goes, and can know the characters well enough to predict all the plot twists. his actions of chapter 2 are exactly for the reason he said; to make things more interesting, to purposely throw a wrench into the investigation and raise the stakes for everyone, himself included, because he is someone who exists outside the spheres of existence for all these people. he never doubted that he wouldn't have been able to save himself at the end of it, because the characters - as bumbling as they were - would have figured it out. he can manipulate the corpse because it is a doll to him, because chihiro was never a 'real' person in his eyes. and neither was anyone else.
(even kyoko and makoto were characters, albeit annoying, observant ones. the ones that looked out of the pages and back at the reader, that you can't help but see parts of yourself in, flaws and all, until they look back at you and point out all the flaws you never noticed in yourself. they're always surprising him, being unpredictable, and it makes this game feel less like a contrived theater play and more like a real competition).
what chapter 4 does is it destroys those conceptions. aoi literally slaps him into reality, because she should have been just another character beneath him, outside of his realm of existence, someone who never should have been able to even dream of interacting with him in such away. he can really get hurt here. he doesn't get shaken up by it, but it irks him. he thinks he knows everything about everyone involved, because for his life up until that point, he's had to learn and know, had to roughly understand the thoughts and drives of the common masses so they can be manipulated and the beliefs and motives of people like him so he could outdo his siblings.
but then during the trial, he gets surprised, he gets proven wrong, and he doesn't understand, and it needs to be explained to him by someone he previously considered lesser. because despite everything that he's done and accomplished, he has never tried to understand the meaning of human connection and just how far people might be willing to go for the sake of those bonds - and without that understanding, he is no better than any of the others around him.
#byakuya togami#danganronpa#(gazes through lens of orv). man.....#reccommend reading omniscient reader's viewpoint to anyone btw. top ten things that changed my brainwaves of all time#byakuya togami you are a terrible terrible person. i want to inspect you under a microscope#this is also part of why tonaegiri is so sososoososo important to me btw. fyi. if you cared#kyoko is someone who thinks she knows the meaning of human bonds. hence her comforting makoto post-sayaka's death about the 11037#but makoto is the one who is most familiar with it all bc unlike kyoko and byakuya he hasn't been betrayed up to that point by his family#and so he CAN bring himself to understand what love trust and mutual understanding can do to someone#makoto naegi ultimate son of a normal healthy family#my thoughts
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#me telling sharing with my mother the idea that in the western world Islam is always examined through the lense of Christianity#and that by extension that all foreign religions are examined through that lens#and that I hadn’t considered that much in my life#but as I reflect on it I find that it is especially true for me despite not growing up religious that#I still find the Christian idea of Islam to be prevalent in my life#and that I will be reading the Quran as soon as possible to expand my world view more and grow a deeper understanding#and without missing a beat she looks at me and says#‘well I’ve talked to Muslims and read some passages of the Quran and all religion boils down to the same things#and I just stared at her and asked if that wasn’t what I just said about all religion being viewed through the Christian western lens#and she just said#‘I don’t see what you mean. all religion is the same’#on the bright side I learned about one of my biases today and have something new to work on so#that’s cool I guess
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