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kitkatopinions · 2 years ago

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Having been thinking about the new ep all day, here's the thing about Ruby's explosion.

Yes, she was being irrational and harsh. Yes, as someone who has rejected all leader figures plenty of times and put her team in as the people making more choices, the narrative seeming to be trying to tell us that Ruby didn't ask for this is stupid and Ruby not acknowledging her own hand in the place she wound up wasn't good.

But it would be really disingenuous to act like WBY - and specifically importantly Blake and YANG her beloved older sister - haven't been being really oblivious, unhelpful, and unfair. Blake has at least been trying to help at the start of the season by being the one trying to keep situations from spiraling out of control and filling them in on details about the story, but even she hasn't been acting like they're actually in a serious situation, and Yang and Weiss have just been having massive attitudes the whole time not doing much at all. And even though Weiss has at least attempted a conversation with Ruby about her feelings, Blake and Yang specifically have barely done more than say 'Ruby?' questioningly and 'are you okay?' Like guys that is about the same kind of reactions I get from my coworkers when I have a headache at work. And I would be willing to overlook it if they actually acted concerned outside of those shallow moments, but instead they just act like it's an average day in Remnant where they can just banter and flirt and do slapstick humor. Let's not forget that there was literally a time where the team was walking and Blake and Yang were ahead just super caught up in each other giggling and almost holding hands, and Weiss and Ruby stopped walking to have a serious conversation while Ruby was just dejectedly unable to even talk about it, and Blake and Yang were still just walking along chatting like they didn't even notice. Like, yes they deserve love and no actually it wasn't their fault that the writers I MEAN the Ever After forced a confession, but it is their fault that they've been acting completely oblivious and uncaring to both the seriousness of their situation and Ruby's own struggles and pain. I feel like I'm justified in being frustrated by them and I feel like Ruby's really justified in being frustrated with them.

And Yang extending her arm out as if to protect Blake from Ruby? It's consistent enough with Blek to flinch away from any sort of anger or criticism, but Yang seriously was out there acting like Ruby was a danger to Blake? Ruby - Yang's supposed beloved baby sister - basically just said she feels like Yang doesn't care about her, said she was crumbling under the pressure she was facing, and couldn't just smile through it, and Yang's reaction is to angrily shield Blake without even a word to Ruby? No protest of 'that's not true,' no explanation of 'I was trying to give you space,' no guilt and apology of 'I'm sorry, I've just been so happy, I guess I didn't realize...' Imo the line there was pretty clearly drawn, my reading of that scene is that Yang will always prioritize Blake over Ruby and doesn't care enough about Ruby. I would never just stand there while my little sister basically said she felt like no one cared about her without telling her how much I love her, and I would never let a fifty year old man yell at my traumatized and crying little sister that it's her fault that someone is trying to kill her and destroyed others in the process without protesting it.

Speaking of Jaune, I think his blow up makes sense and a lot of what he said wasn't wrong. I'm making allowances because he's clearly been through a great deal and whether or not the 'Ascension' of the Paper Pleasers is actually a good thing or a full on death, Jaune thought it was a full on death and that everyone he'd been trying to take care of for years and years had just died and Ruby was talking about herself. But at the same time A. not everything he said was rational (like blaming Ruby for Neo hating her and coming to attack everyone,) B. Jaune's not one to talk considering that things like the Argus plot was his idea and the plans at the start of V8 were spurred on by his 'go for both' plot and he had no problem at all with Ruby's plan and helped carry it out and has also been treating their group as the end-all-be-all authority. And C. Jaune should not be here at all. This would be a much easier pill to go down if this was Ren (who has recently doubted their plans,) or a battle-hardened Nora (who has by her own words only made jokes and hit stuff and therefore would feel like less of a hypocrite for this,) or May Marigold (who has also doubted Team RWBY too) and all of that would feel better than the underdog hero Jaune with a history of stealing the spotlight and girls getting fridged for the sake of his pain yelling at Ruby the female protagonist for not being good enough and for being selfish. Like RWBY writers please think things through, this is a bad look. Jaune the character might have good points to make, but the rwby writers shouldn't have put him there in the first place! Especially since his pain takes focus away from Ruby's. And yes, obviously what he went through was bad and shouldn't be just dismissed, but let's remember that the writers are the ones that orchestrated - and often forced - every single circumstance that led Jaune to be where he is now.

Basically, I have problems with the argument scene.

#rwde #anti-rwby

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gwenzone · 1 year ago

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A/N: I got the idea in my head that Gwen would be awesome an a vampire. I was gonna request someone write a fic with Larissa as one, but figured Brienne would be a better vamp. Then it played out rather roughly in my head so I just typed it out on my tablet. Note that I’m not a writer.

Warnings: Vampires. Bit of blood.

Pairing: Brienne x woman.

Summary: Brienne lives as a vampire. Basic idea.

In The Night

Brienne had found herself alone in a castle with a man she was there to kill. He was a bad man. A very bad man. Things didn't go as planned, though. As soon as she drew her sword, the fight was over. Two holes in her neck, the blood draining quickly. She didn't have a chance. Then there was the metallic taste of blood entering her mouth. And then darkness. When she awoke, everything was different. It took months before she adapted even somewhat to her new life. Brienne was a vampire.

Years went by and Brienne learned more and more about herself. What she was now capable of. What she was no longer able to do. Her strength was monumental. Her senses keener than anything she could imagine. She could travel only at night. She had to drink blood to live. That one wasn't a problem since there were always enemies she had to eliminate. She was lonely, though. No one would ever understand her situation, so she didn't confide in anyone. She was a loner now more than ever. Until one day.

She hadn't planned on it, but along her path she ran into a woman that was in need of saving. Brienne wanted to ignore her cries for help, but she didn't. And a friendship started right then and there. It grew quickly into a loving for each other's company. There were intimate feelings, but they didn't act on them. The woman never questioned Brienne's instructions not to travel, or even be seen, duuring the day. It wasn't safe and that's all she needed to know. Brienne protected her and that was enough.

When Brienne had to feed, she told the woman to stay put and she'd return for her soon. And she always did. Brienne told her that she was a bounty hunter and her job was to take out dangerous people. She was good at her job and it paid well. Truth be told, Brienne just traveled around looking for bad people, she'd kill them and feed, then take their valuables to live off of.

All went well until one night, the woman was startled by what she thought was an intruder as she was waiting for Brienne to return. She ran into the woods looking for Brienne. She came across her, visible by the moonlight, kneeling down over a man. She was holding his head and shoulders, her face against his neck. The woman stood watching. She shifted in place and stepped on a twig causing an audible crunch.

Brienne looked up from her meal to find the woman staring at her. The woman's face looked shocked as she saw the crimson liquid smeared on Brienne's mouth. Brienne would have heard her approach sooner if she hadn't been distracted by feeding. She dropped the man from her arms, stood up and tried to explain. The woman said nothing. Brienne took a step towards her, her arms out to show innocence, and promised she would never hurt the woman.

The woman listened to the long explanation that Brienne poured out. Years of secrets all flowing freely now. The woman finally spoke and assured Brienne that she wasn't afraid. If anything, she was relieved to know the truth. Nothing had changed in her view. She could never give up on what they meant to each other.

With the truth finally revealed, they were at last able to be together in a whole new way. Brienne had always worried that being intimate with the woman would lead to unsaid things. Having to explain the night travels, the job, etc. Things with no good answers. Sure the woman just accepted it all as it was told to her, but what if she wanted to know more? Brienne could have never admitted to what she was. She didn't wanna risk losing the one person who was willing to put up with her.

But all that was different now. It's as if the woman didn't even care about what Brienne was. She had questions that Brienne could now answer, but she didn't judge in any way. She didn't show any fear. Everything was perfect. The moment they got back to their camp and reinforced the area, they took shelter from the upcoming day. Intimacy came easily in no time.

The sexual tension was quickly relieved and both Brienne and the woman found themselves completely satisfied. Afterwards, during their cuddle time, the woman asked to see Brienne's teeth. Brienne was reluctant at first, but with some coaxing, she gave in and extended her fangs. She was glad to see the woman found them interesting and attractive. Brienne boldly asked if the woman wanted her to bite her as a form of intimacy. The woman questioned if it would make her a vampire if she did. Brienne assured her that the only way she would turn is if Brienne were to bite her and then the woman would drink Brienne's blood.

The woman agreed to let Brienne bite her. Brienne placed little bites up the woman's inner thigh and both of them found it thrilling and pleasurable. It didn't hurt at all. In fact, it was exhilarating. The woman asked if it hurt when Brienne was turned. She couldn't quite remember.

At some point, the woman wondered if it would please Brienne to turn her so they could be together forever. Brienne refused right away. But the woman made some good points. They'd both be strong enough to fend for themselves. They would never grow old or leave the other behind. Brienne said she would consider it but they had plenty of time to discuss that.

For now, they would live as they were and be content in doing so. Two lovers in the night with only each other against the world.

THE END

#gwendoline christie #gwen christie #brienne of tarth #vampires #fanfic #sorry it was a bit rushed

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marbere · 1 year ago

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So, I've had this idea(? for a while now. As someone who hasn't read the manga and just finished the anime I didn't know where this was getting at, so I only have like 4 chapters and Idk if I'm going to continue it, but here it is ch 1 and if you're interested, I might post the other ones :)

«Petra Ral suddenly woke up in a forest. She doesn't know how she got there, she doesn't know what these giant anthropomorphic monsters are, and she doesn't know how to explain to those who call themselves the Survey Corps that she's basically from another world.»

---

Petra must admit, chains weren't her thing.

Well, she means, kind of. She'd done it before and was always open to experiencing something new…

But right now, when she was inside what seemed to be a jail… Yes… it wasn't right.

Petra put a hand to her head.

She had woken up in the middle of a forest with trees tall enough to cover the daylight. From what she saw and perceived she hadn't hit her head or anything like that, even her clothes were still the same that she decided to wear to go to college that morning.

However, Petra had no recollection, not even a clue, as to how she got there in the first place.

And the worst came later.

A monster. A giant anthropomorphic monster leaning against a tree. It was naked, but had no genitalia. Its expression was that of someone bored, but it didn't seem like that was really the case.

Petra stopped her steps when she saw that thing. She had refrained from calling for help for fear of dangerous animals appearing and had only been walking hoping to find her way out of the forest. Well, she had found it and that giant was obstructing it.

For a moment it reminded her of a movie she had seen… Or was it a book she read? The one where there was a giant too who became some kind of hero to normal humans in a weird island. Yep. Nope. Petra had been sure that that one there was definitely not a hero.

Then the giant jerked its head in her direction and Petra froze with her legs trembling. She tried to formulate a "hello" to try her luck. Maybe it could understand her? But the monster didn't even think twice before lunging at her.

Petra had screamed. She screamed as loud as her lungs and throat would allow, and when the monster tripped over one of the huge roots, she took the opportunity to run once more into the forest, assuming that she could at least hide in the bushes and undergrowth.

The monster hadn't hesitated to go after her.

Petra watched herself inside the safety of that cell. She was still wearing the same clothes, which amounted to shorts, a white blouse and sneakers. Of course, the blouse was no longer white, much less the sneakers. And her legs… she probably wouldn't wear shorts again if she ever found herself running from a giant monster again.

Then two men and a woman appeared. All uniformed. Uniforms that Petra couldn't recognize from any country that she knew of though she thinks she's seen them before.

"You're awake, I'm glad," said one of them. A blond, well-built man. He had a calm expression, almost showing a slight smile that was probably there to make her feel calmer.

"Have been for the past few minutes," she answered only to look at his companions.

The woman, who wore glasses and had her hair in a messy ponytail, had the most relaxed expression and posture of the three. She wasn't smiling, but she seemed very willing to listen to what she had to say.

The last one, black-haired, however… Petra watched him sideways, though she was sure he was fully aware.

With his back against the wall and his arms crossed, he gave the impression of being indifferent to what was happening, but Petra was clear with the hostility and suspicion with which he was treating her. Ready to attack or protect at any moment if the opportunity presented itself.

It was a different image than the one she had of him when he saved her from that giant in the forest, using those cables that made it look like he was flying…

The giant's body had fallen to the ground, right next to Petra. Smoke began to rise from it and he landed on the giant's head, looking at her with a feeling that seemed to go from confusion to distrust and from distrust to confusion quickly.

With a scowl on his face, he said: "Who the fuck are you?"

She must have passed out, since between that scene and the present everything was blank.

"Going outside the walls is a crime for anyone who isn't part of the Scouts," mentions the blond-haired one and Petra realizes that he must be the leader, or at least the most important person there. "So tell me, what is your name and what were you doing there?"

Petra frowns.

"Walls?" she repeats. What walls was he talking about? She almost died and now she was the one imprisoned? It doesn't make sense and soon a wave of questions makes its way down her throat. "Wait... What's going on? Scouts? Who are you guys? Is this some kind of joke?"

She presses her lips together and draws her legs closer to her body, as if that will make her feel more secure. Suddenly, she knows that everything that has happened is real. It suddenly doesn't feel like a dream anymore.

"Hm…" the woman puts a hand to her chin and examines Petra from head to toe just before looking back at the blond one. "Is it amnesia?"

"It's a possibility," he replies, narrowing his eyes, as if something is going through his mind.

"Or she's acting," adds the black-haired one, looking up.

Petra swallows hard. Faced with confusion, stress and uncertainty, she feels that she is going to start crying just because of the simple fact of not knowing what to do. She senses that she is in trouble, but doesn't know what kind. She can't defend herself, because she doesn't even know what's going on.

With one of her hands, she squeezes the fabric of her blouse and wrinkles it between her fingers. Petra looks down.

"I… I really don't know…"

Her expression must have revealed her sincerity, or the blond man is a mind reader, since soon he's glancing, almost glaring, sideways at the other man.

"Levi," and he says sternly, giving him a warning.

This Levi only responds with a tch before appearing indifferent again.

The blond man sighs, then, as if he has no solution, and looks directly at her again. This time Petra notices that his eyes, in contrast to the woman's, are clear as the sky.

"For the moment I'll assume you're telling the truth," he says and proceeds to introduce himself. "My name is Erwin Smith, commander of the Scout Regiment. These two are Squad Leader, Hange Zoe," the woman smiles and waves a hand. "And this is Captain Levi of the Special Operation Squad," he doesn't do much more than look at her stoically. "You are inside the walls now. To be precise, you are inside the Survey Corps headquarters, in Trost, the Rose wall."

If the man, Erwin, expected that to ring a bell in Petra's head… it does, but she's not exactly sure why. She's even more confused now.

"Now can you tell us your name?"

Petra slowly nods, knowing that she really can't object.

"Petra. Petra Ral," she replies.

Commander Erwin nods once and Squad Leader Hange writes it down.

"Do you know where you're from?" he asks and Petra parted her lips.

She clearly wasn't from there, it was so obvious that she knew they knew that too.

"No… not from here, I think?" she replies and looks around once more. There is a small window that lets in light, but from that angle she can only see the sky and hear a little of the sounds from outside. "But I don't know where exactly 'here' is, either…"

"What can you tell us that you do know?" he asks once more. Petra thinks he wants her to give him a specific answer, the thing is, she doesn't know what he wants to hear.

Because of that, Petra runs out of words faster than expected and just shakes her head no and shrugs.

Then the Squad Leader steps forward.

"Petra, right?" Petra nods and Hange Zoe quickly continues. "Listen, the thing is, you were found outside the Rose Wall, within the Maria Wall, in a location you wouldn't have been able to reach on foot, much less survive the surrounding titans alone and with no ODM gear. What can you tell us about that?"

"Titans?" Petra frowns and tilts her head. The first thing that comes to her mind is that giant she was running from, but it seems like a curious name to her… and then she gasps. Wait a minute. "Look I…I just know I woke up there, okay? I don't know how I got there, I don't know if someone took me or brought me… I don't even know where I am, okay?"

She hopes she doesn't. She really does.

Hange nods and adjusts her glasses, then looks at Erwin. They have a kind of silent agreement, for Petra it was more than obvious that they had known each other for a long time.

Erwin sighs.

"Where do you live, miss Ral?" he asks once again.

Petra doesn't know what the question is about, she had told them something already, but this time she decides not only to give the name of her city, but also her address.

Then Levi, who had been keeping quiet, hits hard on the metal bars. Petra basically jumps. That had startled her.

"Oi, don't tell such obvious lies."

"Lies? What—?" she feels slightly offended at being accused so suddenly, but seeing the faces of the other two, she knows something is wrong. "It's not a lie!"

"Miss Ral, there is no such place here," Erwin interrupts. Arms crossed, expression hard, but Petra can hear some impatience in his voice. "Are you sure—?"

And she gets exasperated too. Her lips tremble before she answers.

"No! I don't know! I really don't know what you're talking about! Titans?! Walls?! What the hell! I don't even know what you all mean by walls! I just want to go home!"

It's only when she's finished and panting that Petra realizes not only had she raised her voice but remembered that there's something about titans and walls that she's seen before.

Isn't that impossible, though? She thinks. There was just no way.

Anyway, Petra instantly regrets her actions, fearing that she will be punished, but doesn't lower her head. She would think about it later. What else can she do when even Captain Levi has stopped leaning against the wall to watch for any unnecessary moves she might make?

And, of course, Commander Erwin's seeming unflappable didn't help her at all.

"Levi, Hange," the commander calls out to his subordinates and starts walking towards the exit.

"Huh?" Levi doesn't seem to believe it at first. Was he just leaving like that?

"But Erwin," and Hange hesitates. However, they both follow him with no complaints.

Petra cringes in her place even though she's glad she's alones now. The chains on her wrists jingle cheekily and she exhales. It's impossible. Titans, walls, Scout Regiment… She had heard those words before. She'd heard them in a sentence before too. Her brother had told her about it so many times…

A video game. She was in a video game.

Now how the hell did she end up there?

---

"What do you want us to do?" Levi asks once they get out of there. His voice is not loud, but it is firm. Especially since he believes that Erwin doesn't want the matter to be known yet.

"Check the information," Erwin orders. They may be his friends but he needed them to know that he was serious.

Hange takes a few steps ahead of Levi to keep up with Erwin. "But Erwin, we know there's no place called like that," she says. "Perhaps in the towns farthest from the capital, but I really doubt it."

And she wasn't the only one. Levi rolled his eyes.

"What are you thinking? That she really comes from outside—?"

"Levi?" Hange cuts him off, confused, probably because she senses the acidity in his voice.

But Levi ignores her. "Oi, you know that's not possible."

The three arrive at Erwin's office and he takes a seat at his desk. Levi and Hange stand still, even though there are other seats.

"And yet, it's also nearly impossible for a civilian to get to that location alone," Hange counters before sighing heavily and putting a hand to her head. What was the punishment for people who went out? Gallows?

In fact, when was the last time someone had gone out on their own account? Hange couldn't remember, and anyway, she didn't feel comfortable thinking about what would happen if what she said was right.

"For the time being we won't say anything," Erwin orders and then laces his fingers in front of his face. "It wouldn't be wise. Both for us and for Miss Ral."

"And what do you suggest we do? Should we investigate secretly?"

"No," Erwin exhales and leans back in his chair. Levi raises an eyebrow waiting for an explanation. "Hange will investigate. Find any family with the same last name and ask about her. Levi, you'll keep an eye on Miss Ral."

"For what?" Levi crosses his arms. "As far as I knew, being a Scout didn't include being a babysitter."

But Erwin just shrugs.

"It does when necessary. There are eyes and ears everywhere, and in the worst case scenario, she's not just a civilian."

With that last said, Hange and Levi are dismissed. Hange can't help but shiver with excitement.

"This is so interesting!" she exclaims, unable to control the volume of her voice. "Just imagine the possibilities, Levi!"

But Levi doesn't share her excitement. To begin with, he isn't a man who gets excited easily, he had lost that ability years ago.

"Tch, keep it down four-eyes," he exhales and shoves his hands in his pockets, thinking that now he not only has to postpone handing out paperwork but also order and explain training sessions to Eld.

"Aw, come on, Levi," Hange gives him a friendly elbow on the shoulder. "Anyone would think you regret saving her."

Levi wasn't sure about that.

"I just did what I had to do. I thought it was one of the new recruits left behind."

But they both knew that wasn't true.

Hange raises an eyebrow in proof of this and Levi tries not to pay attention to her smug smile.

The minutes before saving Petra Ral had been, to say the least, catastrophic. Once again they had not been able to go further than usual —they weren't even close to the Maria Wall—, losing the lives of many of their companions. The place was so full of steam that they could hardly see and it was when they could no longer keep on that all or most of them heard something similar to thunder and a spark lit up the cloudy space.

The titans they were fighting froze for a few seconds, they really don't know why, and Erwin took advantage of the moment to order a retreat.

Levi was in the rear when he heard her scream. Strong, sharp, terrified. Even Hange was surprised when he quickly fired one of his ODM gear's hooks at the nearest tree.

Now, Levi didn't like to play superhero. If he could save someone, he did it and if not, then he looked for other priorities to focus on. With a job like theirs, they all soon had realized that sometimes some lives were worth more than others. Therefore, he himself didn't understand when out of pure instinct he activated the gas mechanism and flew towards where the scream came from.

Perhaps it was because he naturally recognized that it couldn't be one of the recruits, but of course he didn't expect to find someone wholly different from what he would have expected.

Starting with the clothes, which weren't from anywhere he'd been before —and he'd been to many places— to how only that titan kept moving even when the others had strangely and miraculously gone numb.

Erwin couldn't blame him for mistrusting, but at the same time he was right about one thing: the walls have ears, and many people saw her when they returned to the safety of the Rose wall.

"Anyway," Hange continues after a while, just before they have to go their separate ways. "Whether it's what Erwin suspects, or what it actually is, do you have any idea how she got there?"

Levi thinks about it for a few seconds, or so he tries to do since nothing really comes to mind.

Although, that's a lie.

Petra Ral's face pops in his head and he remembers the first thing he thought when he saw her. Her slender and small body, clothes so thin that they had torn from just running through the bushes, the expression of not only utter terror but also perplexity on her.

Yeah… there was no way a person like her would survive on her own outside.

"I don't," Levi replies, and after a farewell nod he and Hange go different ways.

Only to hear gunshots.

Dammit. Levi absolutely loathes it when Erwin is right.

#rivetra fanfiction #rivetra #levi x petra

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minetteskvareninova · 1 year ago

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This morning, I had another random thought about Rhaenyra, and now I am going to tell all of tumblr about it. Basically, I think she has a complicated relationship with violence, that then bleeds into her relationship with Daemon. Never fear, this does not justify the choking scene, one thing I would never do is talk about THAT shit in any kind of positive manner, but I think I understand the logic behind it better, which does not mean the logic itself is, like, good or something. Also this is just about the show, not the books, where Rhaenyra is way more down to fight or shank anyone who opposes her. We’re ignoring the existence of that Rhaenyra right now, just as we should everytime we analyse show!Rhaenyra, but nevermind.

Anyway. Baby!Rhaenyra is not a violent person on principle, but she doesn’t mind violence either, as her encounter with the boar and relationship with Daemon show. Because her transformation to older!Rhaenyra is not properly explained, we can only guess why, but she seems to have become more reluctant to enact violence herself after the timeskip. She’s aware of the importance of violence in politics (see her call to defend the Stepstones) and that it will come into equation eventually - after all, Alicent has shown willingness to harm Rhaenyra and her children when provoked, and there clearly are people eager to provoke her (hi Otto). Not to mention the fact that she might consider Rhaenyra a threat to her children, which Rhaenyra doesn’t want to be, but has to protect her own, and if Alicent is prepared for the first strike, so should be Rhaenyra; basically, the two of them are locked in an eternal spiral of paranoia, kickstarted by who else but Otto and his “your children are never safe with Rhaenyra” nonsense. It’s also possible that Harwin’s death might’ve been another suspicious incident that made her reconsider her own stance on violence, but that’s not confirmed in the show. None of this is enough for her to give up on hope of a peaceful resolution, but clearly, she needs at least some powerful and dangerous allies.

Cue Daemon. He has shown himself to be more than willing to be as violent as the situation demands, and more. Rhaenyra thinks she needs someone like that, which is why she presumably tacitly approves of the rando servant’s murder and is clearly not unhappy with Vaemond’s... Let’s call it execution? To put it simply, Rhaenyra outsources all the necessary violence on her husband. And for a while, it seems to be working; even when she directly opposes his war hawking in the last episode, she retains enough power to get her way, while he has her back (in his own way) in the first hours after the news of Viserys’ death and Aegon’s usurpation arrive, while she’s going trough a difficult labor. I’ve seen pro-Alicent people ask whether Rhaenyra could prevent Daemon from hurting Alicent’s children to secure Rhaenyra’s throne, and basically side with Alicent in her conviction that she probably can’t, but Rhaenyra herself knows Daemon listens to her at least sometimes (such as when he let Laenor fake his own death instead of just shanking him) and thinks she can manage to curb his worst excesses. And, well, their relationship seems stable and healthy at the time of Viserys’ death, so it’s not an unreasonable assumption all things considered. What was needed now was an incident that would prove her wrong, that no, she cannot rely on her ability of stopping him from going too far, that her outsourcing of violence on Daemon was a mistake and an act of moral cowardice...

And for some reason, the show writers thought a random act of domestic violence would serve this purpose better than Daemon orchestrating the murder of a child. The child murder that was always going to happen, that would be so easy for Rhaenyra to condemn, even if it was motivated by avenging her pain and the death of her child, which in turn would paralel nicely Alicent’s reaction to Larys shanking his own father and brother... But I guess the choking scene works too??? OKAY THEN.

#house of the dragon #daemyra

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ladymorghul · 2 years ago

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I know how this might sound, but I feel like the writing sort of validated takes like: her children were never in any real danger, it was all manufactured by Otto, or that Alicent has been unreasonable this whole time. Others have said this but the reconciliation was not a good writing choice. From my understanding, the last time the Greens and Blacks see each other is after Driftmark, after Aemond is permanently disfigured and disabled, after Viserys made it very clear that he would cover for Rhaenyra's treason, going so far as to yell at Aegon (who had nothing to do with the fight, but he couldn't even bother to reprimand Luc or Jace), after Rhaenyra herself suggested Aemond be tortured and pushed Alicent until she snapped. During those ten years Rhaenyra married Daemon, who was Public Enemy #1 (it wasn't just Otto who suggested Viserys make Rhaeneyra heir, it was the entire council because they didn't want Daemon near the throne), and Viserys slowly dying, basically a countdown to the inevitable war.

When they reunite Vaemond is executed for voicing the exact same concerns (having him call Rhaenyra a whore was to soften Daemon's reaction, I refuse to believe that Vaemond is that stupid when he saw how far Viserys is willing to go to protect Rhaenyra at Driftmark) Alicent has had since Otto's dismissal and no one is punished, instead there's a big happy meal and wait, it turns out that Alicent has been unreasonable this whole time. That it was all in her head, her paranoia created and fed by Otto. So about 20 years worth of terror, Alicent pushing and punishing Aegon for not assuming his responsibility as heir...were all for nothing, smoothed over by a toast? Good queen? Girl, where, when??

The prophecy was dumb. It feels like that was just inserted to 1) keep the plot going because no, Alient's fears aren't valid, all she has to do is accept Rhaenyra as queen and everything's going to be okay (making Alicent more sympathetic to audiences because again, there's no other reason Alicent would want to crown Aegon, even though the prophecy makes her look dumb instead), and 2) it takes away from Aegon's storyline and the family tragedy as a whole. Before episodes 8-10, it felt like the Green family tragedy is that they all step into roles to protect one another: Alicent may not want to crown her son (imo Alicent comes off as someone who doesn't want power) but has to protect him and his siblings, Aegon doesn't want to be king but does so to protect his family, Aemond probably doesn't like Aegon but he'll fight and defend him to the end (it all goes horribly wrong but still). Now the dance is all about a prophecy, about men stealing the crown from the rightful heir, erasing the socio-political implications of Rhaenyra's ascension??? This isn't Shakespearian smh.

This is getting long but lastly, Otto scheming to kill Rhaenyra was dumb. He's never really had a problem with Rhaenyra, his problem has always been with Daemon. Killing her, Daemon's wife and mother of his children, is basically unleashing him. The Green Council should have been the council talking about the politics, why the realm, if they accept a woman on the throne, would not accept bastards inheriting over true-born children and Aegon & his family. No gross feet scene (why, why do that to both actors?), no trying to force this "men = bad, women = good" shallow depiction of the patriarchy, and no Rhaenys.

i agree with almsot everything you said here except for the depiction of patriarchy.

it is important to show that while rhaenyra may be spoiled, may be politically struggling, may lack this skill or that skill (which has happened with plenty of ruling male monarchs), a huge reason why she's being fought against is because she is a woman.

it's why viserys is chosen over rhaenys, why corlys gives driftmark to laenor, etc.

i don't think the green council should necessarily have sounded like some pompous sociopolitical class on why they're better for putting aegon on the throne, but i do wish the writers would understand that alicent had every right to push for what she believed is her own best interest, regardless of whether that would be wrong or right.

by that point in the story alicent had every reason to fear rhaenyra and daemon and if the weird reconcilliation at the dinner scene would be deleted, just those few minutes, all the greens should be scared of what daemon and rhaenyra might do.

and yeah i agree about the prophecy... they could have worked it into a story without it seeming like that's the only reason alicent pushes aegon to be king. they should have given her more agency.

i bet she will go down as one of the most hated female characters just for how they decided to shape her for rhaenyra's story.

#asks #alicent hightower #long post

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marshmallowloves · 2 years ago

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Finally came up with a decent ref for Cesylia, my Fates self insert! Fatesona? Corrin…sona? I dunno but! I'm pleased with how she looks~ (not gonna shade it right now tho cause I'm tired fjdsfhg)

She mainly uses ice magic, though she does still wield the Yato and can transform into a dragon. I figure having ice still makes sense, even though she's part Silent Dragon and the Vallite family has the whole water thing going on - ice is just frozen water after all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cesylia is a softie who gives "why can't we be friends" Corrin a run for their money. She'll always try to be civil and kind, but she's not a total pushover. When kindness is truly no longer an option, she is willing to stand up for herself and fight, but she'll definitely exhaust every other alternative first. This is also pretty apparent when it comes to a certain...prickly Hoshidan prince, who has a very hard time understanding why in the world she keeps being nice to him despite his bitterness towards her (but dw he gets over it…mostly)

I also spent way too much time coming up with a background that both suits her and tries to fix some of the dumb stuff about Fates' story, while keeping other parts I like ksdjfg. I tried my best to condense it, I really did - but the story of Fates is so long and complicated I found it hard to keep it under a few paragraphs while explaining everything. -u-; I'll put it under the cut if anyone's interested~

One thing I will say here is that she and the Hoshidan siblings know they're not related from the very beginning. I'm still confused how anyone in canon wholeheartedly believed this actual dragon lady who looks nothing like them and has a distinctly non-Japanese (sorry, non-Hoshidan) name is their blood sibling. Someone had to have suspected something at some point, come on now dkjfhg

Cesylia was born in Valla to Anankos and Mikoto. Mikoto prophesized that one day Anankos's degeneration would bring about the destruction of several worlds, so they worked to bestow an incredible power onto their child that would lay dormant until that day, where it would awaken itself and stop the catastrophe. However, they kept it a secret, even to Cesylia herself, because it has the potential to be as destructive as what it's meant to prevent.

Mikoto later flees to Hoshido, marrying Sumeragi after the death of his first wife, and Cesylia spends her very early childhood there. One of Garon's spies learns of her power, and when Sumeragi visits Nohr to discuss a peace treaty, Garon kills him and kidnaps Cesylia, hoping to harness the power for himself. She spends the rest of her childhood and early adulthood in solitude, locked away in a fortified tower in Castle Krakenburg, where she's periodically subject to "trials" by Garon's sorcerers to try and force out her power. She's often visited by the Nohrian siblings, who care for and bond with her while she's confined but have no idea what's really happening.

Hoshidan soldiers later strike, successfully recovering Cesylia and Azura, but the celebration is short-lived as Mikoto is soon killed by a Nohrian assassin. Hoshido makes their counterattack and meets the Nohrian royals on the battlefield. With a heavy heart, Cesylia chooses to stay in Hoshido - she doesn't want to go through the painful trials again, and fears that if the Nohrian siblings try to help, they'll be put in danger for standing against their corrupt father.

When Cesylia is back in Hoshido, she's treated very differently than she remembers - she's constantly doted on, and Ryoma in particular is overly protective of her. Prior to their infiltration of Castle Krakenburg, Mikoto had entrusted Ryoma with the knowledge of her prophetic vision and Cesylia's power. She tasked him and his siblings with guarding Cesylia with their lives, so that she may live to stop the catastrophe when it comes.

After that, she basically follows the plot of the game…s? listen I'm a big dumb baby and I don't want anyone to die so I honestly have no idea what to do after that. As I said, I tried to condense it, so there's more little details I didn't put here, but I like what I have here~ -u-

#I have a LOT more bits and pieces about her/her story #but this post is already so long #and I doubt people wanna read all that kdjfg #Cesylia #self insert #my art #fire emblem #fire emblem fates #fe fates #fe:if #fe14 #fatesona #corrin #fe corrin

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literaila · 4 years ago

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hopeless reality

BAU team x reader

request: Hii! I’m in serious need of some angsty sshhiiiit and I love your writing... Could you maybe write some platonic BAU x reader where the reader is the youngest, idk she can be like 20 or something, and a case goes TERRIBLY wrong and she’s injure dying and everyone’s like but she can’t die, she was supposed to outlive us all!

warnings: kinda sad, panicked everyone, hotch basically abandons all of them, some spoliers past season 6, no concrete ending..

a/n: I’VE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS ITS SO DIFFERENT

“I can do it.”

Those words weren't surprising for any of them.

As the youngest, Y/N was always looking for new ways to prove herself to all of them. She was used to the staring, and the scoffs people made when they saw her next to the all mighty prestigious BAU team. She was used to people looking at her and wondering if they had picked someone up off of the highway, or if she was a murder just riding along with them. She was used to being undermined and underestimated by everyone.

Age was a tricky little thing people didn't seem to look past.

But it wasn't as if she put up with it. When the local police officers were making side remarks about her right behind her back, she didn't keep her mouth shut. Didn't stand there and listen to them expect nothing of her.

And she enjoyed the looks on their faces when they realized she was listening. She liked the stammered apologies that came out of their mouths while she stared them down.

She wasn't one to bite her tongue.

And she had something to prove, to herself and to all of her teammates. She had to show them that she was valuable, that her age didn't affect how much she could do, how much she was willing to do.

And so, it was expected when she offered herself up like a doll for sale.

It's what happens during every case.

This time though, all of her teammates nodded along with her. It was a man closer to her age, only a couple of years older, and she was the most likely to lure him. The most likely to trap him in the prison of being caught.

“Okay, Y/L/N will go in, Morgan and Rossi follow her in as backup, blend into the crowd.” Everyone awaited Hotch's formal orders, ready to finally be done with the case that had taken them days to solve. “You three need to remember, he's going to be on the lookout for us, he's definitely seen the news by now.”

The three of them nodded, Y/N already antsy on her feet as she waited to leave. Definitely the most willing to catch him out of anybody else in the room.

She nodded at the rest of the team, smiling at Garcia’s “See you soon Neptune! Be careful.” from the phone on the table. She grabbed her bag, filled with clothes that would help her fit into the bar scene, and her vest. Just in case.

She started to walk out the door, trailing after Morgan and Rossi as they got ready to leave when Hotch called her back into the room.

Everyone else had already left, and her nerves were telling her to continue walking and get to her job, but out of anyone else there, she was used to being pulled back behind.

“Yeah, Hotch?”

“You shouldn't hesitate to call in Derek or Dave, this unsub isn't going to stick around if he suspects something. You know that?”

It took all of her willpower not to roll her eyes at his protective instincts, instead going for a smile, hoping to ease whatever paternal nerves he could be feeling.

“Course, Hotchner. I know what to do.”

She nodded at him, choosing not to stay any longer than she had to, saving herself from his double-checking, and reassuring.

She waved with one of her hands walking out the door.

Wearing a dress and both a bulletproof vest was extremely uncomfortable. Especially when it was supposed to be discreet.

Y/N sat in the middle of the bar, sipping on a fake drink, throwing smiles to anybody who seemed to look at her, waiting for the one person she needed looks from to approach her.

She knew what to expect, an alpha male, expecting her to fall under his wing and go with him home- which of course would be when he would torture and murder her like he did all those other girls -and she wasn't going to let herself slip up when he was so close.

A couple of guys had come up to her already, asking her if she was new around if she needed some help getting home, if she was lost in a bar like this one. All things that she tried not to show disgust at, smiling and telling them she was expecting someone.

Though, when she saw him, she knew he would be different.

He was carrying himself differently. Smirking at everyone else, unlike a normal too confident male would. It was more threatening, like he expected everyone in the room to do whatever he said, whenever he said.

An alpha male.

Y/N could tell in almost an instant that this was her guy, and that it was time to put on a show.

It was an easy catch. The bait pulled him perfectly.

And she played the part just as expected.

Laughing at everything he said, smiling at him whenever she got the opportunity, drinking the drink she knew he was planning to spike soon.

It was a rehearsed part, one she was exceptional at.

But, when he started pushing her, begging her to come home with him, promising her that he would make it worth her while, she didn't know what to do.

With the last girls, he had waited longer, drugged them before he even dared to take them home, stayed at the bar with them so that they would be more comfortable with him.

But it had only been twenty minutes, only a short minute since he had first looked at her.

He was devolving too fast.

Y/N smiled, trying not to let the sudden nerves she felt show in her eyes, trying to keep herself comfortable sitting so close to him.

She looked over to Derek, who was sitting across the bar, pretending to drink while he listened to their conversation. He was looking back at her, giving her a look that she knew was asking if she was okay, if she knew what to do. He was worried too.

She took a quiet deep breath in.

“I haven't finished my drink yet,” she said, playing dumb, trying to act like she was innocent enough, trying to test him.

“I have plenty of drinks back at my place.”

She giggled, playing with the bracelet on her wrist, looking back over to Derek.

“It's so early in the night…” She whispered, flaunting her confidence, playing off her “drunkenness” as best as she could while still smiling at him.

But she could tell that he was getting impatient, and wasn't willing to wait anymore.

“What game are you playing?”

And she could hear his real voice. Not the man that went to strange bars to pick up women, but the man who murdered them as soon as he took them home. The man who was planning to murder her.

She looked over to Derek once more, once too much.

The unsub was looking with her, glaring eyes meeting Derek’s, and the reaction was written out in front of all of them.

He had seen Derek on TV. Seen him with the FBI.

He turned back around, his hand slipping to his pocket.

“You’re with them huh?” He was whispering, but his voice was demanding, furious.

And the giggle that came out Y/N wasn't fake this time, just nervous.

“What are you talking about?” She asked, her feet tapping on the barstool, her body getting ready to run, trying to smile.

“The FBI.”

He spat the words in her face. The smile falling from her lips.

The hand moving to point at her.

What was it she wondered?

What was pain?

“Physical pain inspires the worst kind of helplessness.”

Ambulances were surprisingly loud.

Louder than you’d assume.

They were threatening, and dangerous, and did nothing to help give you hope.

Derek didn't get scared. He didn't need hope to keep him upright, he wasn't threatened by any of the ambulances that he had seen before, he didn't find them too loud.

But he was supposed to be protecting her.

They all knew, going into the bar, before the bar, that it was dangerous. They all knew that there was a strong possibility that she could get hurt. But she was cautious, and she was brave. So he didn't worry. He didn't think he had to worry. Even with an unsub who was known for lashing out, for making big decisions with no thought. Hotch had told Derek, all of them, that this would be harder than normal, that they needed to be more watchful, more careful.

She’d been laughing with them in the car on the way over. Telling them that if either Derek or Rossi got in the way of her job, she’d disown them as her friends. She’d laughed and joked with them, not an ounce of fear in her eyes, no anxiety resting upon her body.

But he saw that look in her eyes.

That strange scared look.

It was unfamiliar, an anomaly to him. He’d never seen her eyes like that.

She was the youngest, the most daring, the person who offered to do anything that no one else wanted to.

She laughed when one of them said they were too tired to go out for drinks, offered to watch both Hotch and JJ kids when they were busy. She moved between them like she was mending with them, and she was everyone's best friend.

She took too many risks, moved too fast, thought too hard. She did everything on a whim, but it was impossible to stop her. Impossible to fade her from the scene. Impossible for anything to scare her like it would any person.

He’d never had to worry about her before.

She’d made it clear that she could take care of herself, that she was strong, that just because she was the youngest and most inexperienced, it didn't mean she couldn't do what any one of them could.

She was so strong.

And he’d never seen that look in her eyes before.

Desperation, trepidation. Two things that had never filled his body like in that moment.

He could see the unsub moving, he could see her worried eyes, her panicked posture. He saw everyone else around them, moving normally, none of them quite as scared as she was. He saw Rossi looking over at him from the bar.

And he saw the gun in the unsubs hands.

He wished he had been paying attention more, watching her, checking to make sure she seemed just fine. He wished he had watched the unsub, checked to make sure he couldn't see any weapons on him. He wished that he could’ve done it all over again, asked her to step back, to let him catch the guy.

And he wished he could’ve been fast enough.

The unsub had pulled out the gun, had stared at her with his threatening eyes, and she moved back, tried to get away but, she wasn't fast enough, and the unsub was too quick.

Derek had watched her stumble backward. He watched the pain light in her eyes and the panic fade out.

She used to tease him about watching everything.

“We aren't at work, you don't have to profile everyone in the room, Derek.”

Then she’d pass him a drink. Tell him that it was supposed to be fun, that they all needed a little more fun in their lives.

But now, all Derek needed was to get her eyes out of his head.

Her eyes were so desperate and panicked and worried for everyone, for everything. Her eyes were usually so brave and so curious.

He needed to get them out of his head, he needed this moment to be over.

He needed to not be sitting in the back of an ambulance with her.

It was surprisingly loud.

And scary.

He’d never been scared like this before.

Rossi wasn't worried.

He wasn't. Really.

He knew her, knew how fast her body would spring back, rejuvenate itself. He knew that she was strong, that she could stand any amount of pain, that when he saw her next she would be smiling, and she’d ask him if this meant they could have a party.

He knew she’d be fine.

He wasn't allowed to go in the ambulance with Y/N and Derek. The paramedics assured both him and Derek that only one could go, and Rossi could see the time slipping past them. He could see the clock ticking and he knew that they had to speed things up.

So, he’d pushed Derek into the ambulance.

He wasn't worried, so why would he go with her?

Besides, Derek was scared. He was shut down and focused so much on her, Rossi thought that Derek would have fought him for the place in the ambulance.

He thought about all the people he’d seen get hurt while working this job. Thought about all the times one of them made a mistake, or someone wasn't quick enough. Most of the time, they were fine. Not many people got hurt on the job.

There was always a couple weeks of leave, a couple weeks to get themselves back together, but they always came back.

He hadn't seen too many people die.

So he wasn't worried. The odds were that she would live. The odds were that she would be completely fine by the time he got to the hospital.

Because she was strong. She was healthy, had a young body, and more energy than she needed in the first place.

Rossi thought it might be good for her to slow down. This might be a good experience for someone like her. Someone who takes too many risks, goes out on a whim, and doesn't slow down even when she has the chance.

This might help her become a better agent. Someone more careful.

He wasn't worried.

She’d be fine.

Really.

JJ got the news first.

Back at the police department, while they were clearing up. She knew that Derek, Hotch, and Rossi all knew. She knew that the unsub had clued into who Y/N was, she knew that Derek and Rossi hadn't been enough to protect her. She knew that Y/N was on her way to the hospital, that she’d been shot in the field.

They didn't tell her where. Or how she was doing.

JJ had been here before. She had been in the situation of not knowing, of constant anxiety, of the questions that just bang back and forth in your head until you can get your answers.

She knew how that felt.

She looked over to Spencer and Emily, both of them clueless to what was going on, to their friend being brought to the hospital.

“Have you got the unsub detained?” She whispered, leaving the room, trying to gather all of the facts before she made assumptions.

“Yes. He's on his way to the police station now.”

“And no one else was hurt?”

“No.”

JJ nodded to herself, feeling relieved at the news.

The questions were in her head, spinning around. She knew that she wouldn't have any of them answered any time soon. Not until they could get into the hospital and see her.

“And JJ?”

Hotch’s voice was the same as always. Demanding.

“Yes?”

“I need you to tell Spencer and Emily.”

“Hotch-”

“I’ve got to go.”

And then she was left. With her news. And her questions.

And her confusion.

Of how this could ever have happened.

Hotch wasn't allowed to have a reaction. He wasn't allowed to think about it.

He was working. He had to do his job.

Members of his team had been shot before.

They all knew the risk there was in going in. They all knew how disguises couldn't hide everything. And they all knew that people got hurt doing the job.

It wasn't surprising. Wasn't anything new.

But she had reassured him. She had told him she knew what she was doing, she knew what she was doing.

He had believed her.

He could hear his voice in her head, telling all of them that she would do it. Like she always did. Like every other time, she got the chance.

She never took a step back, never looked at the situation before offering to go.

It was reckless and stupid.

No one ever said a thing. When she offered to be the bait, all of them accepted it, expected it. They all knew that she would be the first to jump at the chance to go out in the field. They all knew that she was smart and strong, and she knew what she was doing.

None of them ever said no. It was so hard to say no to her.

But she had reassured him, Hotch had double-checked this time, just to make sure she would be safe. He put two experienced agents as her back up, two people that he trusted and knew would protect her.

“I can do it.”

She could do it.

She’d been shot.

And he felt like blaming himself, felt like being angry, furious at her for offering to go, for reassuring him and lying, and he felt like being angry at himself for letting him go, for not properly preparing her.

But he didn't have time to ponder those thoughts.

He didn't have the time.

He couldn't have a reaction.

He had a job to do.

He was working.

He wouldn't think of it.

Emily probably knew better than anyone else.

She was probably most familiar with pain. With hurt.

She knew how this would affect her, she knew how she would feel. She knew how it would change her even after she was healed. She knew how the scar would never leave her body, and that she would wince every time she saw it.

No matter how much Emily wished she wouldn't understand, she did.

She knew what would happen to Y/N.

If she lived that is. If she was strong enough, if the bullet wasn't stronger than her. If she wasn't too late, if the doctors could save her. If she would stay alive.

And she would be there this time.

If she died. If the world was cruel enough to take her away.

She would have to be with her friends, she wasn't allowed to run away again. She wasn't allowed to go across the world and break alone, she wasn't allowed to turn her back like she had before. Even if she wanted to. Even if running away seemed like the only thing she could do. She would stand by them, and learn what it felt like to have your friend die.

But she wouldn't come back.

That was probably the hardest thought.

If Y/N died, she wouldn't have the opportunity to come back. She wouldn't have the months to heal, the job across the world, she would have the pain of knowing that her friends thought she was dead, but she also wouldn't have any pain.

She’d be dead. Gone. Forever.

And Emily knew what that meant.

It almost killed her to know that.

When she watched Spencer freeze as JJ told both of them, when she saw the worry in JJ’s eyes, she knew that the only thing she could do was be there for all of them. For her, if she could. And for them, if she had to.

It was a scary thing to know your friend was hurt. To know that while everything else in the world stayed the same, several hearts were breaking with the knowledge of the pain their friend was in. It was crazy to think that not everyone's world changed.

It was selfish of her to be thinking of herself, to be avoiding the memories and the thought that came with Y/N being dead. It was selfish to assume she was. It was selfish that she wasn't doing anything to help her friends, to help herself. It was terrible of her not to hope, not allow herself to feel some relief.

But she had to protect herself.

Expect the worse, welcome the best.

Emily was scared. She was scared for Y/N, scared to be there this time, scared to have to hold everyone together like she couldn't before. Scared for the worse to be the reality. For her friend to really be gone.

She could hear her laugh in her head. She knew that it wouldn't leave. It wouldn't go away until Emily could hear it again.

Pain.

She was so familiar with. She was so used to.

Pain.

Emily probably knew that better than anyone else.

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year.

An average of 100 a day.

That's all Spencer knew.

He didn't know what was going to happen, if she would live, if she would die, if she was okay, if she wasn't. He didn't know what they would do without her, what would happen if she really did die, if the youngest died before any of the oldest could.

He didn't know how everyone would feel, how he would feel if she died.

He didn't know what any of them would do without her laughter, without her pushing for them to have fun when work was over, without her running around the office, making everything seem bright when it was nothing but dim.

He didn't know what would happen. What was happening?

But he knew

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year.

An average of 100 a day.

He knew that if he could see her, if he had more information about what had happened, he could figure out the probability that she would live. He knew that if he had been there, he would know how to feel, what was going to happen.

But they were sitting in the hospital waiting room. They couldn't see her yet.

Derek hadn't said a word. Emily was sitting next to Spencer. JJ was walking around, checking on all of them instead of herself, being as selfless as she could while they were all stuck in a state of panic.

Rossi was talking to the nurse again.

There still wasn't any news.

None of them were sure how she could’ve been hurt, with her vest, and her self defense techniques. None of them were sure how hurt she could be.

But

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year.

An average of 100 a day.

Spencer held onto that.

She wouldn't be one of the hundred. She wouldn't.

He thought of the sleepovers Y/N, Garcia, and he had. Like children. He thought of how both of them spent the entire night picking on him, trying to make him laugh. He thought of how she always convinced the two of them to come over, told them that it was movie night even if it was a completely random day.

He hated the thought of not doing that anymore.

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year.

An average of 100 a day.

She was the youngest. Everyone teased her about it. They all expected her to live for a hundred years, far longer than any of them could. She was the youngest and the brightest and the bravest. She wasn't supposed to die before any of them could.

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year.

An average of 100 a day.

When she had offered to be the bait, Spencer hadn't felt worried. He didn't even think of her getting hurt, only felt relieved that this case would finally be over, that they could all go home. He didn't worry at all.

But he should have.

Because she always did this, she always offered, and no one ever turned her down. The odds were that she should’ve gotten hurt long before this.

Odds were that she was extremely lucky.

Except for now.

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year.

An average of 100 a day.

Spencer didn't know what would happen. He didn't know if she would live, if she would die. He didn't know what would happen. He barely knew anything at all.

But Derek wasn't talking, Emily was silent, JJ was avoiding the topic, and Rossi had asked the nurse for an update eight times in the last thirty minutes.

He didn't know.

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year.

An average of 100 a day.

She wouldn't be one of the hundred.

She couldn't.

Before JJ had told her, Penelope knew something was off.

No one had called her to update on if they had got him or not. Her phone had been completely silent.

That was off.

She called her Neptune.

It was one of the planets that couldn't be seen from Earth.

She’d always asked where the nickname had come from.

Penelope had called her that because Y/N was unreachable to her. She held so much, all this brightness, and you could barely even tell from the surface.

It was a nickname that seemed to fit her more than anything else.

And she couldn't help but think of it as soon as she got the call.

Neptune. Her best friend.

She didn't understand much about profilers, but she knew that Y/N was different from all of her other friends. She didn't know if it was because she was younger, and less experienced, or if she just carried something different to her.

But it was a smart decision to be her best friend, to depend on her.

They’d spent nights together, laughing, creating insanity with every sentence, every hour that ticked past on the clock. They’d spent time laughing, and crying, learning everything they could about each other.

‘Best friend’ was a loose term, one that didn't extend far enough for their relationship.

And Penelope had known something was wrong, as soon as no one had called her.

The first thought was that the unsub had gotten away, that he was going somewhere else and they still had to catch him.

But she knew that wasn't true, because they hadn't called her to help.

And then she thought that maybe he had been difficult, that maybe it was taking all of the team to help deal with him.

But, that didn't seem quite right.

And then she thought of all the other times something like this had happened, when she hadn't gotten a phone call, and there was nothing but silence for a couple of hours.

And all she could think of, was the day Emily almost died.

And then the bullet Spencer had taken to the leg.

And then the stabbing Hotch had been through.

For Penelope, after those thoughts, she didn't have any choice but to find out where they were.

So, she hacked their phones.

It wasn't completely rational, but Penelope had never proved to do things that were rational before. And she was far too protective to not do anything.

JJ’s phone showed up at the police department they were working from. So did Emily and Spencers. Hotch was somewhere across town. Rossi was still at the bar, and Derek was at the nearby Emergency Room.

By the time she had gotten to Y/N, she knew something was wrong.

One of them was hurt.

When she finally got the phone call, she had already pulled some of her hair out, stalked the news, tried to hack into the hospital's patient list- which she couldn't because not all of it was digital -and bitten off almost all of her nails.

JJ had told her, just like JJ always did, informing all of them the best she could.

And they didn't know enough.

Penelope had no idea how her best friend was, and even though she’d asked over and over, what had happened, JJ didn't have any answers for her.

It was a stupid situation.

Penelope hoped she wasn't hurt. That the bullet hadn't gotten anywhere near anything important, that she would live just as Penelope had years ago.

If she had lived, so could Y/N.

She was young and strong and she had been wearing a vest, and there was nothing wrong with her, if they didn't know anything it was good. It was good that no one had told them anything.

That meant she wasn't dead yet.

And that's all Penelope had to hold onto.

She called her Neptune. Because she was unreachable.

She would be fine.

Her eyes. They looked so scared. Derek was so scared.

She would be fine. Rossi knew.

JJ didn't know how this could have happened.

He wouldn't think of it. He was working.

Emily knew better than anyone else.

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year.

An average of 100 a day.

She called her Neptune.

She was the youngest out of all of them.

She had to be okay.

my masterlist here.

#derek morgan x reader #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #emily prentiss x reader #penelope garica x reader #aaron hotch x reader #jennifer jareau x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds rp #criminal minds headcanons

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mobscene-london · 3 years ago

Photo

BASIC INFORMATION:

NAME: Ayda Demir. AGE: 30. PLACE OF BIRTH: London, United Kingdom. AFFILIATION: The Turkish gangs based in Haringey (formerly) OCCUPATION: Owner of Gizli Bahçe. FACE CLAIM: Melisa Aslı Pamuk. AVAILABILITY: TAKEN.

BIOGRAPHY:

Their inseparable little group had always told her she was too good for their lifestyle.

Berat, especially, had been the one to remind her most ardently of all on the days when her father pushed for nothing short of her complete involvement.

That was one of the curses of having the family she did, Ayda supposed. Whilst they had always been wonderfully supportive of everything she did—particularly when she was briefly active as a fully-fledged member of their gang—the fact that their entire lives revolved around it meant that they expected the same of her. Mehmet, her father, had been the closest confidant of Kerem’s, Mustafa. Though the gang would always belong to Doğulu, Mehmet had been respected amongst the lower ranks as the man who’d supported their leader through thick and thin. The second in command, if ever he was to name one. Eventually, her eldest brother also flourished as his father’s perfect legacy; precisely what was expected of someone who carried their name.

Ayda loved her family enough that she was willing to try for them. But she just wasn’t cut from the same cloth, and as painful a realisation as that sometimes felt, she would one day come to terms with it.

School had been where she’d met their little crew, same as everybody else. Kerem had been a friend for as long as her memory allowed—their families were as close-knit as they came, thanks to their fathers—but meeting the likes of Azra, Nevra, Nazli and most importantly of all, Berat, had been an absolute blessing. Ayda wasn’t shy by any means, but her father’s reputation in the borough was so intimidating that sometimes people avoided her as a consequence and it could be a lonely feeling. Never them, though. The two boys had immediately assumed the roles of her protectors, whilst the girls attempted to toughen her up. Ayda’s life in Haringey had certainly proved easier and more privileged than most, and it’d left her sheltered enough that she lacked the thick skin the others used to protect themselves.

It’d been an evening when Berat had been walking her home from school that she’d first seen her home really rear its ugly head, though.

They were kids, for crying out loud. Looking back now feels even more appalling than it did then. A few members from a rival Indian gang had got the jump on them, and at sixteen years old, she’d got the beating of her life. Berat had taken so many hits on her behalf, she could scarcely believe he was still standing at the end of it all. Ayda had taken him back to her house, explained what’d happened to her mother—her father departing minutes later in a fit of rage—before she would help the older woman tend to his wounds. Things had changed for them that night. All those times he’d told her he would’ve done anything for her; she realised as he’d put himself between herself and impending danger without hesitation, he really did mean it.

It would mark the start of a relationship that would last over a decade.

For years, she did her best to sink into her role within the gang. Mostly, she’d just followed Berat and Nazli wherever they went; patching them up if they got hurt, or acting as another body to those who assumed she bore a similarly terrifying persona to her father. But Ayda wasn’t much good at pretending. It was an uncomfortable feeling for a person kinder and more positive than most. Certainly, kinder than Haringey deserved. The violence didn’t simply not appeal to her, it actively repulsed her, even when she knew the things they fought for meant something good. It was hard to detach the man she loved from that.

For a long time, she forced it. If her mother could look past the terrible things her father did because she loved him so much, then why couldn’t Ayda do the same thing for him?

It’d been Nevra abandoning them four years ago, however, that’d changed things beyond repair.

The fact she had left them—broken off her engagement with somebody they all loved—was difficult enough. That it was for the Rutherfords, though, was rightfully seen as unforgiveable by many in their friendship group. Ayda had a hard time stomaching the idea of her becoming a for-hire murderer, but also found it difficult to begrudge her an attempt to seek a better life for herself than drugs when that was also all she had ever wanted. Kerem had understandably taken it the worst. It was Berat who’d lashed out, though. When he’d gone to find Nevra post-departure, ready to give her a bitter lecture for the hurt she’d caused his best friend, the Rutherfords had almost murdered him for his troubles.

For a while, they hadn’t even known if he’d wake up.

Given that they’d spent the months prior talking about him taking a permanent step back from the gang so that they could pool their resources to start their own business—hell, perhaps finally get married and start the family the both of them would’ve loved—his reaction had been heart-breaking. Suffering though almost losing him, far worse. Ayda had already been struggling. To see him so bitter, so angry at someone who’d once meant so much to them, was difficult to come to terms with. Whilst before his priority had always been the success of their gang, all of a sudden, it seemed to be fuelled only by revenge. Much like Nazli, his hatred of the British family soon overshadowed all else. Ruled every aspect of his life. Too often, it even came before her.

When he’d turned to heroin as a means to cope with whatever it was that he was processing, though, Ayda felt guilty her being there wasn’t enough. That she couldn’t help him through how she should’ve. Nazli had done a better job of getting him back on track than she had, and what did that say about their relationship? It felt like each day that passed left them more distant than the last. Ayda’s feelings about stepping away from the gang hadn’t changed, but his sure had, and for the first time, they were no longer on the same page. Berat started spending more and more nights away from their home. Their communication suffered.

And her heart was breaking...

Eventually, she couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t fair on either of them. After twelve years, she finally did what she believed was best for them both. Berat could go on to lead his life in the gang without the guilt of disappointing her, and she could finally start the business she wanted away from the drugs without feeling like she was holding him back.

It was the first time she’d ever felt so damn alone.

Maybe she still does, almost two years later.

Though the demise of their relationship complicated things slightly—the fact that she was now so opposed to being involved with the criminal side of their group, even more—Ayda still managed to keep a hold of her friends. Just. The bar she opened, Gizli Bahçe, is a strictly drug-free area, and she made that clear from the get-go. That being said, all of them know, even Berat, that if push comes to shove and they really need her, she will always be there for them. Just because she can’t bring herself to be a part of their lifestyle, doesn’t mean that she could ever really turn her backs on the family that she still loves so much. They let her go her own way and that means more to her than they realise.

Ayda just wishes that he’d wanted to go the same way, too...

SOCIAL CONNECTIONS:

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Berat Yalaz (ex-boyfriend) FAMILY: Mehmet Demir (father, unplayable), Hasan Demir (brother) CONNECTIONS:

Kerem Doğulu: Good friend. Their friendship will always stand the test of time, regardless of what Haringey throws at them, and of that, she’s sure. Whilst a part of her wishes that he’d taken the opportunity to make something more of himself, she also understands the pressures that come with having the fathers they did. Ayda will always be there for him if he needs her. But maybe, just maybe, she can convince him to take a gentler path where she couldn’t convince Berat.

Nazli Ersan: Good friend. Though her breakup with Berat certainly put a strain on their friendship (Nazli was nothing if not loyal to him above all others) it wasn’t completely lost. Ayda will never forget how she’d looked after her when they were younger, and she’ll never not appreciate how Nazli looks after the people she cares about most now. The only thing Ayda misses about life in the gang is seeing them day in, day out, but she has noticed that, surprisingly enough, it’s Nazli who makes the most effort to keep in touch.

Nevra Erdoğan: Friend. Even though she knows many of the others would be furious to find out that she not only keeps in contact with Nevra, but still considers her a friend, that doesn’t deter her from extending the same offer of help to her if ever she should need anything. Ayda is not a fan of the Rutherfords, and slightly less so since the demise of her relationship, but it’s impossible for her to blame someone they all once cared about so much. Ayda hates the idea of her feeling even more isolated than she does. So, in secret, she reaches out whenever she can as a reminder that all they once shared is not lost.

#other #turkish #aydademir #melisa pamuk #neutral #taken #takenf

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elsewhereuniversity · 4 years ago

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The fae didn’t really understand time as mortals did. The thing that lived under the glade certainly didn’t. It was vaguely aware that sometimes humans came and sometimes they left, and when they came that was a Fresh Man, and when they left that was a Graduation. It was less clear on the finer details, but what it boiled down to was an ever changing variety of prey to sniff out and play with. That was all most humans were to it; something to hunt for food or entertainment, whichever struck its fancy.

Most of the creatures it was acquainted with, then, would see it preparing for the party and assume it was hungry (or bored, as the case may be). They would be wrong. True, it wouldn’t turn down a snack, if it was convenient, but it had other plans for the night as well. Rosalind’s graduation party was supposed to be a small, intimate get-together for those who knew Rosalind best. It had decided that after three and a half years of surveillance, it was one of those who knew Rosalind best, and invitation or not, it deserved to be there.

So here it was, disguised as a handsome youth with dark hair and glittering brown eyes, walking towards the clearing in the forest as if it possessed one of the few invitations Rosalind had seen fit to send out. Someone stopped it just as the lights came into view.

“Sorry, I need to see your invitation-” the girl began, hand already on a poker thrust through a belt. The creature turned its gaze to her, giving its best imitation of a friendly smile. It probably looked grotesque, but the glamor did its work, and the girl withdrew her hand, looking slightly dazed. “Oh- never mind…” she trailed off, as if expecting a name. It would need one of those, it supposed.

“Windcutter,” it said, gracing the girl with another smile. She blushed, waving it through. It was that easy. It was always that easy. It frowned for a second. Was something strange? It dismissed that thought nearly immediately. It was just imagining things, distracting itself from the reason it was here.

The newly christened Windcutter swept its gaze around the party. There were little lights in glass bubbles- faerie lights, he remembered dimly from some conversation. The mood lighting was entirely lost on something with perfect night vision, but it highlighted Rosalind’s face as she hopped down from a tree, brushing off her clothes. Unconsciously, Windcutter’s hand went to its shoulder as phantom pain tingled down the equivalent of its arm.

It was supposed to be easy. The mortals’ minds did most of the work for it; once they hit the glamor, they would fabricate details to cover up any of the little holes. The trick, it had learned, was to add some mild imperfections- these days, the students were wary of anyone too pretty. It had worked for- well, for however long it had been before Rosalind came along.

She was Gar then, one of the Fresh Men, and her roommate had been Koi. Oddly, it barely remembered what Koi smelled like, just that when it saw her at a party, it had deigned it the superior of the two. It had been simple to flirt with her, throw up enough charm that anything it said would attract it, that no warning bells had gone off.

And when Gar had left the party, gone into the back alley, and found it with what remained of Koi, it had been child’s play to send a wave of glamor at her so strong that it wouldn’t have been surprised if Gar had let it consume her as well. It was, understandably, a little surprised when Gar pulled a solid-iron knife and stabbed it. The surprise was nothing compared with the pain, though, and it had… well. It was embarrassing, but it had run, crawling under the glade to metaphorically lick its wounds. It had been mildly perturbed to find that even after it healed, any form it took had a little silver line of scar on the shoulder.

That was how the story ended, somehow. Gar had turned to the knights, and then turned herself to a knight. Somewhere along the way she became Rosalind, and all along the way the creature watched the mortal being that had wounded it for the only time in its long, long life. Its feelings were somewhere between fear and fascination- it had never bothered to follow up on any mortal before, but it had watched as Rosalind declared her major (in “biology”, but everyone knew she was Forbidden Major), had chartered a truce between some of the forbidden majors and the courts, had disappeared for three weeks and reappeared looking haggard but none the worse for wear. This was its last chance to see her up close, so for tonight, it was not hunting. It was… mingling.

It approached one of the party guests milling around. The boy smiled at it as it lightly prodded its influence to surround him.

“Hey,” he said. “It’s…”

“Windcutter,” Windcutter supplied.

“Right, Windcutter, from…”

“School."

"Windcutter from school,” he said, blinking and nodding. “I remember, yeah. How are you?”

This close, Windcutter could see the freckles on his face, smell the sweat on him, and it had to remind itself that it was there to see Rosalind, not to hunt. The boy was still smiling, it realized, waiting for it to answer as it stared hungrily at him.

“I am well,” it said, a truthful answer. “And you?”

“Looking forward to the rest of the night,” he said, leaning conspiratorially towards Windcutter. “I think you’ll really enjoy it.”

“Bond,” said a clear voice that Windcutter had listened to for three years, “are you monopolizing…”

“Windcutter,” Windcutter said again, turning the full force of its smile to Rosalind. Once again, it had the nagging feeling that something was off, and it had to resist the urge to scratch its shoulder.

“Are you monopolizing Windcutter?” Rosalind finished.

“Not if you want to talk to them,” Bond said. He flashed another charming smile at Windcutter, who made a mental note to see if he could be lured into the woods. “I’ll just go take care of other business, shall I?”

“Sure,” Rosalind said, rolling her eyes. “And make sure that the guards are on alert!” she yelled after his retreating form.

“Guards?” Windcutter said, tilting its head coquettishly to one side. It was just as well that it had glamor to cover for it- it could never remember how far humans were supposed to be able to do that. “Is something the matter?”

“Well, friend,” Rosalind said, then squinted quizzically at it. “Did I never tell you about this?”

“I believe not.”

“Huh.” She looked down. “Well, my friend, this may sound crazy, but I believe that something has been watching me for the past few years.”

“Watching you?” It could have laughed.

“It sounds farfetched, yes, but… I can feel its eyes on me, sometimes. I think I know what it is, too.”

“Do tell,” it purred.

“Do you remember my roommate?”

“Koi, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Rosalind looked away. “Koi. Well, something took her freshman year.”

“How terrible.” It couldn’t decide if it was relieved or disappointed; relieved it was in no danger, disappointed that Rosalind was so far below its estimation.

“I found her,” Rosalind said. “And that thing standing over her. It tried to make me… I don’t really know. Forget, or stop caring, but I was so angry that it just washed over me, and I stabbed it, and it ran.”

“How brave of you.” The creature shifted in place slightly. Something was definitely strange here. It felt… it didn’t know. Something.

“I didn’t really have much choice,” Rosalind said with a laugh. She drew a sword, idly flipping it in her hand. “It was instinct. I think if it was anything else, I wouldn’t be here today. Whatever it did- did you know, somehow it had managed to make her take off her iron and salt?”

The creature knew, of course it did, it-

Wait.

Rosalind was no fool. She couldn’t be, in order to have lived this long as a knight or a Forbidden Major. Protection was basic enough that even the newest and most naive knew to have it, to demand to see it.

And it had gotten this far without any protection at all. No lines of salt, no running water, nothing. The fact they hadn’t touched it with iron or salt could be put down to its power, but not the basic, rudimentary safety procedures for an outdoor party.

Alarm bells started ringing in Windcutter’s head. Who held a party outside, in the woods, in the dark?

“We were close, did you know that?” Rosalind continued. She still wasn’t looking at it. “She even told me her true name. Trusting to a fault."

"I… should go,” Windcutter said. It had ignored its instincts for too long. Something was wrong.

“It was Rosalind,” Rosalind said. “I never forgot.” And then, finally, she met its eyes.

Windcutter jerked back, a hiss of revulsion bubbling from its throat. It was not Rosalind’s eyes in her face: they glittered as if cut from gems, and, worse, it knew somehow that she could see it, really, see it. It felt suddenly like a butterfly pinned to paper, trying to squirm away from that horrible perception. It turned, still hissing, to see Bond returning, armed with a spear. He wasn’t smiling anymore, and now that it was looking, it realized that his eyes glittered similarly. All of the partygoers eyes did, they- they could all see it-

“A little deal with the Spring Queen,” Rosalind said conversationally behind it. “Three weeks of my time to serve her, and for every day, an hour of Sight and a clear mind for someone at my little soiree.”

It bolted then, half-mad with the eyes of the party boring into it. It sprinted into the woods, then screamed as it hit the salt line, scrambling back on burning feet. Of course there was a salt line now. They had lured it in.

“Tell me,” Rosalind said as it whirled. She was on guard now, sword out and willing. “Why did you watch me?”

“Never been hurt before,” it said, the truth being dragged out almost against its will. This wasn’t supposed to happen. It was supposed to be above its prey.

“Really.”

“You’re leaving soon,” it said. Offering a deal was something it hadn’t done before, but it needed a way out, and Rosalind’s speech had given it an idea. “Let me out and I can promise you you’ll forget what happened to her. You can let go of the anger.”

“Who told you I was leaving?” Rosalind smiled, all teeth and no friendliness. “My classes are over, but I’m staying. Someone has to make sure beasts like you don’t hunt for too long.”

The creature hadn’t ever really had to fight; nobody had armed themselves against it, after all. Its claws slid out almost involuntarily as the fear and rage flowed through it, rendering it incapable of human speech. It hissed again defiantly.

“That’s right,” Rosalind said, her voice almost hypnotically soothing. “It’s you or me. One of us leaves tonight, the other one stays here forever.” Without moving her eyes from the creature, she jerked her head over her shoulder. “The salt line has a break in it behind me. Get through me, and you can leave.”

Frightened, cornered, the creature growled deep in its throat and unthinkingly sprang.

-bean

#stories #long post #bean #rosalind #windcutter #the knights #oh i loved this #bond #the forbidden majors #submission

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nicobaka · 4 years ago

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CLEARING UP AND EXPLAINING SOME THINGS THAT PEOPLE TEND TO MISUNDERSTAND ABOUT GRAY, JUVIA, AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP

(warning: spoilers. It's also gonna be some LONG ass shit lmao. Sorry for typos in advance)

I heard a lot of people hating Gruvia for things that they misunderstood (or just straight-up dismiss/ignore) about the ship, and so I thought I'd clear up and explain some of those here because I just think all this hate towards the ship is unnecessary especially when most of their reasons of why they hate the ship aren't really valid or reasonable.. I mean, yeah, you can dislike and hate it all you want, we all have different preferences. But the level of hate Gruvia gets for reasons that are already proven false and untrue is just unbelievable. Like people saying Gray is somehow "controlled" by Juvia, or that Gray has "Stockholm syndrome" when Juvia never even tried to kidnap Gray... And worse is when people start to spread misinformation and slander the ship, spreading hate and negativity towards the ship for reasons that are again, proven to be untrue.

[ GRAY'S BIG TSUNDERE ASS ]

Gruvia is not one-sided, it's just that Gray's a big frickin Tsundere and that he refuses to show affection, so he may come off as cold to her sometimes. Although later on he realized that he should accept his feelings for Juvia rather than pushing her away and trying to run away from his own feelings before he regrets it, so now he has become less of a Tsundere and is trying to become a better person for her (but still a Tsundere lmao)

[ GRAY'S PAST AND CHILDHOOD TRAUMA ]

Gray does not dislike nor hate Juvia, even from the very beginning after they just met. Hell, even right after their fight in their first meeting. After their first actual meeting, Gray even helped her, saved her, made her happy, and even smiled with her. He wouldn't have done all that if he disliked her. He wouldn't have said he has no problem with Juvia joining the guild if he disliked her. He wouldn't hang around with Juvia inside and even outside the guild if he disliked her. He wouldn't have worried and felt bad about her not passing the exam of he disliked her. He wouldn't have carried her running away from danger even though she already said she can run away by herself if he disliked her. He wouldn't have agreed to going out with Juvia, which clearly meant as a date to her, if he disliked her. He wouldn't have lived with her for half a year if he disliked her. He would have agreed with Juvia leaving him alone if he disliked her, but instead he hugged her, thanked her, and cried on her arms. He wouldn't have sacrificed himself for her safety if he disliked her.... I can go on and on for hours with this honestly. But the point is, he clearly doesn't dislike nor hate Juvia. He even said he's grateful for having Juvia always by his side.

It's just he didn't wanna get too attached to her. He has always thought ever since as a child that it's his responsibility / fault whenever someone he cares for dies. He blames himself for it, consciously or unconsciously, and puts the burden upon himself. He feels like whenever he gets too attached to someone, they would leave him and when that happens it'll be his fault. That's the reason why he seemed cold to her sometimes, it's that he doesn't wanna get too attached to her, afraid that she would just leave him like the others...

"I'm going to avenge my mother and father!"

"I wasn't... able to do anything..."

"It's your fault, Gray." (Lyon)

"It's my fault that Ul died 10 years ago"

"No matter how much time pass, it won't change the fact that it's my fault Ul's dead!"

"I lost both mother and daughter..."

Him trying to push Juvia away by being cold to her is most likely something he did unconsciously, since he himself wasn't really sure about his feelings for her and having the fear of loosing his loved ones before, at least when it was just starting. But as we already know, his attempt of trying to not get too attached to her wasn't successful. It didn't have any chance of being successful to begin with since the reason why he didn't want to get too attached to her and why he had developed the fear of loosing her in the first place is because he's already attached to her from the beginning. He was the one to save her, worries about her a lot, cares for her, protects her, and spends a lot of his time with her, which made him even more attached to her. Which explains his expression at that one recent official Gruvia art which some fans didn't like... He looks like he feels like he shouldn't fall in love with Juvia, but he really just can't help it.

And when it actually almost happened, when Juvia almost killed herself for him, it finally became clear to him what he feels about her, and he realized that it was stupid and cowardly for him to try and avoid Juvia and his very own feelings, because of his damned childhood trauma. He could've lost all the chances he had with her forever, with all those efforts she spent on him all be put in vain. And now that he realized this, that doesn't make the fear of loosing her disappear. It can't be erased just like that. But instead of avoiding, hiding, and keeping his feelings like before, he's trying to improve and be a better person for her that can protect her no matter what.

[ THE LOVE POTION THINGY IS NOT CANON ]

The episode about Juvia buying potions made her look bad for some fans. It was not in the Manga. It's not canon. The part where Lucy expected Natsu to confess (which was seen in the same episode) is canon, since it is from the Manga. But the part where Juvia buys love potion and uses it to try and get Gray is not in that chapter, nor is it in any chapter in the manga, meaning it's not canon and is an anime-only part. Well personally I found it quite funny, but some fans really hated Juvia on that one.

[ JUVIA IS NOT A YANDERE B*TCH ]

I saw a lot of people referring to Juvia as a "yandere" and portraying Juvia as such.. Juvia is NOT a yandere girl who will kill you if you reject her and shit. If anything, she's the opposite. She can NEVER hurt Gray. She'd rather kill herself than hurt Gray. When she thinks she's making Gray uncomfortable, she immediately apologizes. When she thought she disrespected Ul's death anniversary by saying it should be a happy day for Gray because it's their anniversary (she didn't know it was Ul's death anniversary at first), she felt very sorry and disappointed in herself. The reason she couldn't approach him at the start was because she didn't want to make him and his friends uncomfortable, and because she isn't used to socializing with other people (add the fight with Phantom Lord which caused the guild a lot of trouble, plus how people always disliked and pushed Juvia away). Basically, Juvia has, or at least had social anxiety. At first, she couldn't approach Gray because she was extremely nervous. Juvia also wasn't as bold as she is now towards Gray at the start, she was shy and was shown to even stutter a lot trying to express her thoughts to Gray and the guild members. Yeah, she becomes extremely mad when someone threatens Gray's life, but that's just like Natsu being mad when someone threatens to kill Lucy. Or Gray being mad when someone threatens Erza's life. Or Mira being mad when someone threatens her siblings lives.. But Juvia didn't even actually kill Meredy (the one who did threaten to kill Gray), but instead even became friends with her! A yandere would do the total opposite. I think that if Gray ever rejects her, she wouldn't even be mad at him, but would probably be very depressed and think a lot about what she did wrong.. She was even willing to give up on him in Tartaros Arc, when she had to kill Gray's father, she thought she doesn't deserve to love him anymore after what she did so she was willing to finally give up and leave him alone... When yanderes are the kind of people who'd go as far as to kill every other person close to you just so they can have you for themselves...

But Gray himself does not want her to leave. Even though he seems annoyed with how Juvia is clingy towards him and all that, in reality, he doesn't want her to leave. He hugs her and says "thank you" to Juvia for being the one to "kill" Silver, saving his father and finally letting his father rest in peace, so that Gray didn't have to kill his father himself. Silver himself wanted to die and even thanked Juvia for that so I don't really understand why people hate her because of it. And if Gray disliked or hated Juvia, he definitely would have agreed about her leaving him alone.

The main reason why Juvia acts like this is because she's trying to show her love for others that she wasn't able to show before, since she was always rejected, avoided, disliked, and even hated by others. She's always pushed away by others. So now that someone (Gray) didn't push her away and showed care for her, she didn't want to miss the opportunity of finally feeling loved and being able to share her love.

And Gray, together with the guild, accepted her. She wants to feel loved and accepted, so she's trying all her best to not be seen as someone gloomy or unlikable that others used to think she is. She does things that she thinks would make them happy, she does things that she thinks would make them accept her. But since she never really knew how to interact with other people before she joined the guild, and the people she used to be with were toxic as hell, she comes off as awkward sometimes. But she's growing, together with Gray and the guild, she's growing.

[ THE LOVE RIVAL" THING IS JUST FOR COMIC RELIEF AND WAS NEVER SERIOUS ]

She may say "Love Rival!!" when someone's getting close to Gray, but it's only put as comic relief and she was not actually serious about it. Even Lucy, the one whom she always calls her "rival", never took it seriously. If Lucy did, she would have never approached Gray ever again, or hated Juvia for it. If Juvia was really serious about her so called "threats", they would have kicked her out of the guild long ago. Plus, she may act like that, but in reality, she cares for and is willing to sacrifice for her friends, including Lucy. And Lucy herself knows that. Even Gray knows when she's just joking around and even called her out for joking at serious times.

It's sad that people say that they are concerned about Gray and Juvia "forcing" herself into him when they don't really actually think about and consider what Gray is actually feeling towards her.. Gray loves her, she loves Gray. Just let them be happy. Gray has lost too much, at least let him enjoy being with Juvia.

Anyways, I'M NOT FORCING YOU TO LIKE THE SHIP, WE ALL HAVE PREFERENCES. But I'm just trying to make you understand both characters, their relationship and development a little more. Well, this is mainly just from my perspective tho. Especially with all the hate this ship gets and how misunderstood both characters are and the things they do. And if you got to this part, thanks for reading all of this lmao this is my first time posting something like this in Tumblr, I hope it wasn't that confusing.

#fairy tail #fairy tail anime #fairy tail manga #fairy tail 100 years quest #fairy tail official art #fairy tail ships #gray fullbuster #juvia lockser #gruvia #hiro mashima

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shades-of-stony · 3 years ago

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Heavy Angst (And Not-So-Heavy but Still Angsty) Stony Fanfics!

I’m absolutely love a good Tony whump and hurt story so prepare to see a lot of those here! Get your tissues ready!

Push by phoenixreal

Summary: Tony Stark was known for pissing people off, it was a given. Then, after the man everyone thought was nothing more than a selfish prick decided to nearly kill himself saving Manhattan from a nuclear bomb, even the most sure of Tony's bastard status had to rethink it. And then, his team who were sure they had him pegged, they were invited (ordered) to move into Stark Tower with him. To their surprise, they found he had furnished full floors for each of them, somehow knowing their tastes exactly, including a floor dedicated to the resident Asgardian who would only be there some of the time. Surprised, and please, they all wonder at the enigma that is their host. After a couple months, Pepper Potts stops coming around so much, and they realize that something has exchanged between them because they are rather professional to each other. Pepper still frets over Tony, but instead tells the others to keep an eye on him rather than doing it herself. They easily forget that Tony is, and always has been, simply a human civilian. Then things get strange when they find themselves locked down within Stark tower, and after a harrowing viewing of a mysterious video, they find their resident playboy is completely gone.

Note: Prepare to cry and be hurt! This fanfic dabbles with Tony’s insecurity, self-worth, and issues. Please heed the warnings!

The words you choose to say by masterlokisev159

Summary: After the SHRA, the events around Steve’s death and Tony discovering he deleted part of his brain, Tony finally decides he's done enough. With Osborn taken care of, Tony leaves the Avengers and decides to quit being Ironman effective immediately.

He tells himself it doesn't hurt when Steve agrees. Why should it? After everything he's done, the team's better off without him.

However before he can truly move on, there are things he needs to take care of, and it's not long before he realizes he's dangerously close to losing his company. He's desperate and willing to do anything to keep it together.

So when, after months of silence, Steve asks him to drop everything and come work for Shield, Tony finds he doesn't have a choice. He agrees, no matter how much he knows he shouldn't. His reputation isn't exactly the best after the SHRA and he's heard stories of what he'd done as Director. He's knows what he's done. He's knows he's responsible for what happened to Steve.

He just wishes someone had warned him first. He hadn't been prepared to deal with the consequences.

Note: A 1000/10 angst fanfic that made me weep at 3 am in the morning. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. READ IT AND PREPARE TO CRY BUCKETS

Protocol SOTERIA by GoldenFinches

Summary: Friday's primary objective at all times is to protect one Anthony Edward Stark. And she will fulfill that objective no matter what it takes. Even if it means including certain people she thought she would never have to deal with again.

(Basically the Rogue Avengers get some sense knocked into them with the help of Friday and handful of videos.)

Note: A HIGHLY RECOMMENDED ANGSTY FANFIC. I CRIED SO MUCH READING THIS.

Straight to Voicemail by YouMakeMeDokiDoki

Summary: "I DID!" Tony screamed, cutting Steve off mid-sentence and whirling around to glare at him.

"I CALLED YOU! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!"

The one where no one answered their phone and things got out of hand.

Note: this will absolutely break you heart.

Sunshine and Luck by ImportedfromMunich2

Summary: Months after Siberia, Steve and the rest of the defectors are pardoned and allowed back onto the Avengers, with the help of Tony Stark. Now that they're back - nothing is the same as before. Tony is even avoiding Steve at all costs.

Then one night - Tony barges into Steve's bedroom while he sleeps, and they have spontaneous, passionate sex.

Only, the Tony Stark he just fucked isn't from this universe.

Now, Steve has to find a way to explain to Tony that he had sex with his counterpart from another dimension.

Note: A good Steve whump fic!

When You Mess With Him... by REM_It_Up

Summary: During an event with the Avengers, Tony is kidnapped by an unknown group of men right in front of the team. The group who took Tony taunt the Avengers by leaving small clues to Tony's whereabouts. When the kidnappers finally get in contact with the team, they are forced to watch Tony get tortured on camera.

The Avengers desperately search for their missing friend before they never see him again.

The kidnappers are smart and fast, they have everything figured out in order to get away with their plan...They just forgot one thing--

Colonel James Rhodes

Note: Now this is really heavy! Brace yourselves for a kidnapped and tortured tony! Also, protective honey bear aka Rhodey bonus here!

To Need is Not To Want by Brixon

Summary: All his life Tony has been used as a means to someone's end. Always someone's tool in a game. Carelessly thrown aside, once they had no longer use of him. He keeps it bottled up because, because he's Tony Stark. But he's always had this desire that one day someone would come who would stay because they wanted and needed him. He thought he had that with the Avengers, but after everything with the Accords and everyone leaving after Civil War that hope of having something of his to stay was gone.

Despite being burned constantly, Tony still has this wanting. So when Ryder, an old college friend, comes back into his life and actually seems to want to stay because he wants AND needs Tony, Tony is beyond thrilled. Because Ryder is staying. It doesn't matter if the bruises stay too.

But what happens when the Avengers return and Tony finds himself wondering once again exactly what he wants and what he needs.

Note: I’m sure, from the summary, you can tell that it’s a heartbreak here.

Hiding Things Is All Too Easy - Until It Isn't by audhds

Summary: Tony hasn't been the same since Bucky arrived at Stark Tower. That much is obvious. But Steve is overjoyed to have his best friend back and is somewhat oblivious to how Tony is withdrawing away from him. Because surely Tony is just overworked as usual. He must be quiet and jumpy because he is sleep deprived. And of course he has a few cuts and bruises on the visible parts of his skin - he fights and works for the Avengers as a living. It's part of the job description. Until it isn't.

Will Steve discover the physical and mental trauma that Tony is going through before it is too late?

Note: This is even heavier! Please read the tags carefully! Also, this has some serious Bucky bashing! If you are a Bucky fan but still interested in this, please prepare yourself.

No Trait As Much As This by KandiSheek

Summary: Tony gets hit with truth serum. It's a terrible time for everyone.

Note: A bit lighter than the others but still angst nonetheless. The added truth serum element makes this even more interesting!

Good For You by @orbingarrow

Summary: Steve doesn't understand why Tony dates people who abuse him. Tony doesn't understand why Steve cares.

The rest is bad choices, good choices, rehab, milkshakes, paintball, YouTube videos, couples therapy and learning to put the past in the past. Or: How Tony finds his happy ending.

Note: Another Tony-in-abusive-relationships fanfic!!

hold the things you wanna say by SailorChibi

Summary: Tony is still a consultant, and between SI, the team and SHIELD he's overworked and exhausted. That's okay.

He and Steve have been having sex for weeks but that's all it is, just sex, and Tony wants more but he'll never get it and that's okay. Really.

What's not okay is the fact that Howard Stark has somehow appeared in the future and is the same as always.

This is definitely going to fuck up his schedule.

Note: Anyone up for some Howard-travels-to-the-future fanfic?

Childhood is the Kingdom Where Nobody Dies by MemoryDragon

Summary: Seven-year-old Tony Stark wakes up on a Hydra base, lost, afraid, and alone. He has to overcome his fears before it's too late for the Avengers and Captain America.

Note: De-aged Tony just screams heavy angst and hurt!

Advanced Protocol by masterlokisev159

Summary: The Incursions are coming. The Illuminati have surrendered and everyone has come together to take one last stand.

Everyone except Tony. And Steve is tired of waiting. He wants answers.

There's something the Illuminati aren't telling him.

Note: If you don’t know what the Avalon is in Marvel, I recommend you search it up, or you could read this fic. You will be heartbroken with what you find.

Flower Child by itsallAvengers

Summary: The point was this, though:

In a hundred million universes, in a hundred million different lives, there would never be a single one of them in which Tony Stark deserved anyone like Steve Rogers. Ever.

So this? Nonsensical.

Note: Another fanfic that highlights child abuse and Tony’s insecurities!

What Pays All Debts by KandiSheek

Summary: No one is supposed to survive the date written on their skin. And yet Tony's numbers keep piling up.

Note: Angst + Death dates? You could probably foretell how much of a gut-wrench journey this is.

Falling Into You by sabrecmc

Summary: Tony and Steve end up as fuck buddies after the events of The Winter Soldier until Steve calls it off. When Loki's spell wipes all of Steve's memories since the last time Loki was in town, Tony decides it will be so much easier to just not tell Steve they had something of a relationship. Spoiler: It isn't.

Or, how Steve fell in love with Tony and forgot about it, and how Tony fell in love with Steve and realized it.

Note: There are just something about amnesia fanfics that makes it so goddamn heartbreaking.

Art Freaks and Comic Geeks by Coil

Summary: Tony Stark had made himself a phenomenally renowned writer. The world had fallen in love with the heroes that appeared in his novels; captivated by his vivid words of life and colour.

His next ambition was to publish a comic book series starring the much-beloved heroes of his novels. There was just one problem. Brilliant as Tony may have been with his words, his skills in the field of drawing were less than great. It didn’t help that he barely knew what his characters ought to look like in the first place.

Enter: Mister Steve Rogers – an up-and-coming artist/illustrator with the potential to be brilliant.

Their paths happen to cross at Comic-Con.

Note: this is a much lighter angsty fanfic but is still angsty. It is a Modern AU mixed with Artist!Steve and Writer!Tony.

Unwritten Endings by XtaticPearl

Summary: Tony takes the bullet meant for Captain America at the end of their war and through his death, brings together the team again. Only, he isn't really dead and when he comes back, the equations between the team-mates begin to alter and reform, writing a new story altogether.

Note: Of course, you can’t have an angst fanfic rec without a fake death fanfic!

WIP

Need Is Just A Word by masterlokisev159

Summary: A month has gone by since the war and Tony has never felt more alone. of course, with the unrest within the government, the disappearance of the Avengers and the obvious lack of Steve Rogers, it was only a matter of time before the UN finally flipped out and decided to act on the last available Avenger. Too bad they didn't realise a promise had been made by Captain America to be there when Iron man needed him.

Note: a gut-wrenching Post CA:CW fanfic where tony is suffering the consequences of the civil war.

Take me out tonight by masterlokisev159

Summary: When Steve gets invited to a formal party with the government, Fury tells him he can bring a plus one of his choosing. While listening quietly in the corner, Tony heaves a sigh of relief because the team could really do with some positive publicity and any of the Avengers are a good choice for Steve. Tony just wants Steve to be happy after all, even if he knows Steve's gonna pick Natasha. He knows Steve doesn't like him and he's aware there's never going to be anything more between them. They're barely even friends really.

So of course he's absolutely shocked when a gold filigree letter rests in his palms two days later. He's the worst person for this.

Why on earth did Steve choose him?

Note: AHHHHHHHH, INSECURE TONY IS JUST A FAVORITE. Also, confident!Steve that knows who he wants is just a whole new mood!

The Soul Stone's Sacrifice by masterlokisev159

The soul stone demands a sacrifice that Tony and Steve are not prepared for, but in the end, one life is sacrificed for the many. Steve lets Tony go for the last time and mourns a future they never had.

That is until Tony comes back.

Note: A scenario where Tony and Steve where the ones to go to Vormir.

#stony #stony fic #stony fic rec #steve and tony #steve and tony fic #stony au #stony angst #superhusbands #stony fics #stony fanfiction

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