#so people usually cut them out:)
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all my favourite characters are just me seeing them and going "damn you sure do clean up well but I'd much rather see you grinning with blood between your teeth"
#also known as the 'i could fix them but its so much funnier to watch them go feral' phenomenon#i just want to see somebody who's usually composed covered in blood on their knees- *i am shot and my body is dragged offstage*#mizu being happy for one (1) second with her husband VS a fucking demon cutting people apart stopping at nothing for revenge#percy de rolo as a prim and proper lord VS possessed by a demon with a thirst for vengeance and burning orange eyes#james flint as a clean shaven british navy officer VS with a full beard and no morals beating a man to death with his bare hands#ellie williams as a sweet innocent kid VS a bloody tattooed woman on a self destructive quest for revenge knife fighting to the death#vi having a good day VS in a drag on knock out fistfight with another woman (i need her in a way concerning to feminism)#jason todd as robin VS the fucking red hood (he is covered in blood and half his mask is gone and i am going insane)#surprise! they're all on a quest for revenge#blue eye samurai#critical role#black sails#the last of us#arcane#batman#mizu#percy de rolo#james flint#ellie williams#vi arcane#jason todd#andis thought geyser
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#I also think american exceptionalism and their bizarre cultural one-way street isolation plays a role#i think it's different if you actually see other countries as equals and see that they have female leaders and realise that it's#not going downhill it's not solving everything it's business as usual and it's just another boring fucking politician#and this makes the gender of the candidate LESS (not saying no) issue people obsess about or feel a need to discuss#(e.g. people laying into the appearance of female politicians? certainly misogyny. making jokes about cooking and shoes? definitely too#but I feel like that was more a 'gotta insult these fucking politicians' and gender being one of the targets when people want to do that)#but if you're the US and giant parts of the populace think they're the specialmost extra complicatedest country in this our planetworld#the fact that it works for so many other countries takes a much lower priority#because 'yeah sure a woman can govern a....'checks notes' Fineland and United Kingdom of England or Germanland'#but the US of freedom? we got a red button and what if she's on her period!!?! We are a REAL country!!'#not to mention how deeply entrenched the idea of the US as being CONSTANTLY under attack is and the president as the PROTECTOR#and that protector needs to be daddy of course#i also think the different attitude to leaders plays a role#because a part of misogyny is how much people love to HATE women - to sink their teeth into them and demonise them for every flaw#so any country that has some kind of weird worship of their leaders or sees them as some heroes or extra-class of person*#in my opinion might have a harder time to elect a woman because the moment a woman becomes a candidate#you just have to find the right flaw to go on and on about to make the population absolutely hate her or question her competency#meanwhile the general slack we cut men means they can do whatever but somehow still be compatible with that concept of leadership#(*not just the US ....though a lot of other countries with similar attitudes to their leaders are not standing out as democracies tbh)
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#my desserts#okay the hot dog and hamburgers aren't my design they're one of the standard designs we're supposed to make#and about a week ago we were having a store tour#which is essentially when a bunch of rich people from higher up in the company come walk around the store#so everyone has to work way harder to make everything perfect and jam pack the shelves with food#so that they can look at it#and they send in people who's job it is to micro manage everything in the lead up to them coming#and they always insist on coming on like a monday or tuesday so most of that stuff expires and goes in the garbage#like if they at least came on like a thursday we could be prepped for the weekend rush#it costs a lot of money too like my manager owns the store and he personally has to pay for like#getting everything professionally cleaned and the extra hours and the extra product#and this was like the 6th visit in the past year! usually you get 1 or 0 visits in a year! why do they keep coming back!!!!#and this visit they were adamant about having those hot dog and hamburger cupcakes out as 6 packs#and if you're going to do 6 packs anything less than 24 packs looks pathetic#those of you who can do multiplication know that that is 144 cupcakes#and those of you with keen eyes can see that the bun is made by cutting off the top of the cupcake. which is very tedious#those cupcakes took me THREE HOURS to do#then as soon as they went out on the floor someone placed an order for 24 6 packs this coming weekend so that took me three more hours 😑#anyway after all that the higher ups didn't even come. they had 'dinner reservations'#but yeah making 16 to sell individually isn't so bad
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Akira can be invited literally anywhere and enjoy himself bc he just likes hanging w his friends all the time; hes the perfect parallel play buddy :) makes me think he was a bit of a social butterfly even before the Shido incident; he gets more energy being around his friends than being cooped up alone in that attic
#chattin#akira#im sure he had like. a couple of decent friends#and tons of people who knew him and vibed w him#back home#but popularity means that connections are usually shallow#and getting put on probation would definitely make them cut ties#or have their parents cut ties w him#now that hes in a new school and new place; hes gotta start off from scratch#but it comes p naturally to him; he LIKES people and he knows what to say (for the most part)#on the topic; i do think this would be a good explanation for why hed be good at interrogating shadows#he reads the room and knows what to say to get the outcome he wants#hes just very keen on ppl and their wants and needs; even if its vague info at first#he craves connections so badly; and hell say what he needs to make the ppl he likes stay w him#its like. a little manipulative. he cant really help that; theres still trust to be earned#but he drops it fairly quickly when he realizes he doesnt need to Work to keep these ppl around him#being around popular crowds means u gotta watch out for lies and deceit; ppl using u to boost themselves#but w the thieves and assorted confidants; theres no fear of that. he gets to just be akira#the guy who likes being invited to group hangouts so he can sit and silently stare at them for 4 hours straight#and have no expectations to talk and mingle#and he does talk and mingle. but he likes to just have them next to him. so hes content either way
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Some people do kinda suck but I find a lot of joy in giving people really specifics compliments at my job and it makes their whole day sometimes c: 💛
#I had a very enthusiastic conversation about a lady’s hair and the way it was cut#she cut it herself!#I often like to tell some women that their purse is very nice and they’re usually very proud of their purses I’ve found#I will tell some people sometimes that the color of their shirt is so fitting for their skin tone and was a great choice that day#I expressed once to a customer that I loved the prints of his shirts and he came by one day in this one particular shirt#hoping I’d be there apparently because he wanted me to see the shirt because I love his style!#it’s so nice#I had a lady blushing once from head to toe because I said she looks like the perfect example of a woman#that face every artist draws for that reference#she was so beautiful#haha I like compliments on men’s facial hair too!#they’re proud of their facial hair a lot of the time#even soemthing as simple as they look amazing for their age which I’ve said many many times#like I said some people suck and I have yet to truly meet the bad eggs but man I just really like seeing them light up#when you compliment the littlest things they put hardly any effort into and think maybe nobody will even notice#I like pointing out those things
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thank you scalpho for tagging me in wip wednesday!! apologies it took so long, but i appreciate it very much 🫶 i also have no idea how to do these bwehaha
here is a sneak preview of the "deliver us from evil" prologue!
The sunrise is beautiful. Somber darkness bleeds through to reveal a mellow orange in the skies above. The frosted mountains peer down upon the sleeping city nestled in its valley. Its presence blends this newfound light with a gentle blue hue, finally bringing life to these muted layers of snow. How peaceful it seems. Each role is fulfilled with such grace, nearly untouched by human turmoil. The morning wind bites. Its teeth fiercely graze Kai’s cheeks. Every inhale aggravates his scarred throat, still sorely scraping against his lungs after sprinting to the Chidouin residence. Tending to the family within had allowed him a brief reprieve, but standing in the crisp air again lights the tender wicks aflame. Once the door behind him opens, a familiar stride hits the wooden patio and echoes through the hollow floor beneath—for as deliberate as it appears, Kai notes a slight weight upon the right leg. A hand suddenly meets his shoulder, and only then does he glance beside himself. Master Chidouin settles at his left side, finally resting his briefcase before the stairs. With his hand free, Hikari pulls out a cigarette pack and takes one for himself, offering another for his assistant. Shaking his head, Kai instead asks: “Is Atsuko ready?” “Just about,” and the words scarcely leave his lips when he ignites the lighter. “She’ll be alright,” Kai promises, tentatively raising his hand to rest upon his elder’s—firmly clasped upon his shoulder, as though he fears to lose his support. Ever slightly, Kai inclines his head Hikari’s direction. “In a half hour alone, she has regained her strength.” Hikari exhales, letting the smoke trail off in a bitter whisper. The acrid taste stings Kai’s tongue, though he quickly suppresses the rising cough. It disperses into the cold dawn, its source clear as the day to come: this is the second seizure Atsuko has had within four days, meaning they cannot hold off on their intended appointment with Asunaro any longer. It is only natural for Hikari to rely on this habit more than before, even if it betrays the unspoken worry eating away at him. The sight is a painful one, knowing aloud the most he’ll ever allow is: “I know.” Though the phrase exists as an effort to reassure, those few words plant an inexorable dread in Kai’s chest. Even so, when Hikari lets go of his hand to bring him into a half-hug, Kai finds it difficult to cling to anything but the warmth of his embrace. “Asunaro’s got it handled.” As if an ember has broken from his hearth, it burns upon Kai’s chest with abrupt guilt. His fists curl around the railing.
i am evidently extremely normal about their interactions few and far between. one of the only chapters that hikari is still alive...
in any case! i'm tagging (no pressure) @its-captain-sir , @dyke-mecha , @corvidcrowned , @starrycluster , @logicroute , @room-of-lies , @strawberryjamsara , @riggedbones , @azurehaiku , @aforgottenballad , and @aueua if you'd like to! along with anyone else who wants to do this <3 (it'd probably be best to make your own post though, so this doesn't get too long :D)
#BARELY WEDNESDAY... BUT. IT'S FINE <3#& i hope you dont mind being tagged ;u; i usually just leave it as a 'anyone who sees this!' thing but i want to make an effort to interact#a little more here and there; esp since actual messaging has been much more. difficult as of late#but i still appreciate all of your works & think of them fondly often <3#i cut out a long rambling here but. gestures... oh also -#though i know a few people i've tagged here don't often share their writing... gently looks at you. still curious & would love to see more.#tag me if/when you do this 👁️#jestersvaguely#mcfdau#my wips#also: katniss you can also do this if you see it / are so inclined btw. i just never know which blog to tag aehaha
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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.
#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life#or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM#like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people#do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way#his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong#which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right#but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven#i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit#when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief#but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings#anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure#but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc#a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime#vic.txt#dean and feelings#so i can find this all again later
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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Whose idea was it to make a kirtle out of flannel bedsheets in 29C weather?
Oh yeah, mine.
I'm merrily calling this project 'my descent into madness' and I'm having a grand old time. I'm engraining the metric system in my brain (American down, folks), I'm delighting in how comfy this thing is going to be (I did a quick pinned fitting with the side gores in, it is so soft and so flowy, and it'll be even more flowy once I get the front and back gores in), and I not only definitely have enough fabric for the sleeves, scary as they may be, but probably one or two kerchiefs as well! I won't wear those with the kirtle, that's too much dark blue in one go, though.
#holy run on sentence batman#i thought about making a wimple to go with#but i don't have any white linen#the goal for tomorrow is to get the side seams done (i'll probably fit them more later but depends on how the shoulders work out#and get the front and back gores pinned in at least#seam finishing? maybe#i think i may end up using the sewing machine#which is not historically accurate but i can't be bovvered (in the words of rachel maksy)#historical fashion i may prefer but modern tools are nothing to sneeze at#also i want this done by tuesday so if i'm going to spend hours handfelling seams then i'm cutting some corners for time's sake#this isn't my blog's usual topic matter but my historical fashion special interest is awake and you are all going to hear about it#(yes i am aware that three people will see this total)#chatters from the nightsky#sewing
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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.
and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠
I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.
I���m just. I give up.
this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭
#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive#half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass#NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone#but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her#all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed#just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one#like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no#leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate#of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it#like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for#oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow#and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks#towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else#I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey#and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense#I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too#I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted#to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest#and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long#fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest#for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days
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Those sonic prime gjinkas from my day out today
#luriart#sonic prime#shadow the hedgehog#nine the fox#sonic the hedgehog#i guess. only twice. btw trust me on this his outfit changes w his shoes & gloves#rusty rose#thorn rose#knuckles the dread#prim the bat#prim rouge#<- ??????????#nine again. my son boy. why do all the sonic kids i wish i could adopt happen to be the type that would tell people kys#rouge the bat#just the once.#rebel the bat#rebel rouge#anyway okay so a] this was a lot of fun. i dont know if ive made this clear in my other gjinka posts but sonic's shirt says sega normally#but it reflects what he's thinking other times. Only for the jokes no one else seems to notice that the shirt changes#b] oughgh i have this obsession w the hair of these characters and making it make sense for them? nine has darker hair than tails bc tails'#hair is a] sunbleached and b] he bleaches it closer to his roots than nine#nine's hair is also greasier & straighter. it has less volume#my og amy has thick braids w heart shaped beads at the end but why the shit would the eggcouncil let her have Heart Beads???#shes their sick as hell robot. so her hair's grown out into dreads on their own. she has sort of a side shave but like. in the way that one#side is metal. thorn doesn't have the time 2 braid her own hair so she has half of it cut short and the other half grown out in a small afr#you'll never believe this but dread has dreads#prim actually gets rouge's natural hair!!! my rouge wears a wig and all the pieces that frame her face are gelled on#but if rouge [like. usual rouge] took her wig off she'd have a short buzz underneath. and i was so excited to draw it so i did#rebel keeps the wig. knucks is there at the very bottom but he has real tight braids#anyway one thing i was wondering while i was drawing is where the fuck did prim get the black shirt under her leaves shirt
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blinks tiredly. i decide "hm maybe i should try to expand my circle and step outside of it a little, lets go look at the main community tags" and im just greeted with a bunch of edgelords who think saying "fiction doesn't affect reality, don't like don't read" is peak activism and "fighting censorship". head in my hands. this is partially why i do not ever go into the community tags, my nervous system cannot handle blocking fifty weirdos every single day just so i can have a normal experience in the community tags hfdsjkl
#I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE BLOCKED ALREADY. i am TRYING to curate my experience 😭😭😭#and i have so many tags blacklisted fjdsjkl like. so many. every single variation of tag to do with those chuckleheads#which helps avoid them a lot of the time tbh bc it'll flag posts that ppl rb if the original post was tagged w any of those#so i can avoid rbing posts that have chuckleheads as the op most of the time#i also usually double check OP's blog before i rb stuff now bc man this place is rife with these weirdos#ANYWAYS. yes i want to try to engage w the community but i do not think i can handle it if theres gonna be so many edgelords jkdslfl#the only way i follow new ppl now is when yall do promo hour and i sometimes see a new face pop up fdsjkl#every now and then i have energy to try to engage with new ppl but its so difficult when so many ppl are such insufferable edgelords !!!!#''im the nasty pr-sh-pper your parents warned you about 😎'' cool man you sound like the most insufferably obnoxious person ever. :/#''if you like CENSORSHIP-'' i am hitting block immediately bc u have a fundamental misunderstanding of what censorship actually is 👍#I'M TIREDDDD WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUMB ABOUT THIS STUFF. ''fiction doesn't affect reality'' I GUESS PROPAGANDA DOESNT EXIST THEN ????#what a strange world they live in honestly. they dont understand how stories have served humans since the dawn of time. sighing loudly.#vent //#SORRY FOR THIS ONE IM JUST. ARGH. ppl talk abt encouraging community but i think maybe im not cut out for community#i want desperately to partake but i cannot handle it if it means dealing w all these bozos#it frustrates me to no end fdhsjkl and it upsets me so much and i wish i could deal w it better but. my nervous system is broken fdsjkl#i will try to expand my circle every now and then but i cannot do it often bc of this 😭 im not going to give up entirely though fdsjkl#(also this is partially why i dont tag my posts w community tags anymore bc i am just. so scared of these freaks getting their hands on it)#(the most i'll do is s.afeship or variations every now n then bc supposedly they're not in those tags fdsjkl)#delete later#dandyshucks
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#tag talk#reasons I skedaddled from the relationship a a week after joining:#I only liked one out of two. I would have totally been friends with the one I liked. just not the other one. and you can't pick just one#the annoying one called sex “the horny” and I wanted to nope the hell out of there#I tried to build emotional distance by talking about how I was leaving at the end of the year and got told "#got told 'I'll still care about you even after you're gone' which like...#I react so so poorly to people who care so much they overstep my emotional boundaries#that's like. lowkey a trigger for me. I showed off my scars and they reacted with sympathy.#sympathy over my sick-ass scars that I'm proud of. I was like 'aren't these cool?' and they reacted with sympathy. no thanks#once again.. I like men. it was an experiment but I'm done. I wanted to see what it was like and I got my taste#they go on the list of people I've had sex with only once. because I usually do not go back for a second time with people#there was a chance I could have gotten one of them to play aoe with me that's the only potential benefit I could have gotten from them#otherwise nothing I wanted. they weren't good hiking pals. not good skating buddies. lame taste in movies.#the annoying one talked about wanting to be a sugar mommy which I should have seen as another un-vibe data point#cause I don't vibe with overly generous caring people either#tbh I'd rather be hated than simped over. I can't stand cloying overbearing kindness#people like that so often act as if their kindness entitles them to you and I just.. ugh. emotional blockages in place#it switched me back to L and now I'm he him pronouns again#and lowkey I think when we move I'm gonna cut our hair. I miss it short. we made a really cute guy.#being called miss and ma'am is fine and all but damn I miss being a cute boy#anyway. my life continues to be tumultuous and it's my own damn fault. I regret nothing but I will learn from this experience
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im so annoyed with everything today, i think i need some tasty food and a million hours of sleep and then I'll be back to normal
#the teacher at the first class today was so dibsjdhdhdhdhsgs 😫#like she was teaching us things that are like unrelated to the class that shes teaching so idek why she was teaching it#but also its things that we have been learning since the 1st semester and we've done them in at least 10 classes and she was acting like#this was the 1st time we were hearing about it#like oh yeah we're on the 7th semester of studying nutrition but no one bothered to tell us how many calories are in a gram of fat#and she gave us homework 'to see if we know this' like#oh yes i can make a meal plan for a child with crohns or cystic fibrosis or celiac disease or everything else we've done this semester and#all the other semesters but i guess i cant tell you what micronutrients are in this one breakfast meal#like fuck off and stick to what you're supposed to be teaching#anyway i know im getting more annoyed than i should but she was just even more annoying than usual today#like she interrupted the lesson every 5 minutes to yell at someome to be quiet i wasnt even aware there were people talking until she yelled#anyway#also my new earphones aren't working well idk why ive definitely not been mistreating them that much for them to break in less than a month#like i had my old pair for at least 4 years until the broke and i dont think the wire got cut in them like the sound was coming out weird#but there was sound coming out. in the new ones you need to hold them in a very specific angle for sound to come out#and like im careful with how i put them away so what is up with them?#my theory is that they make wired earphones shitty on purpose so that you will spend a lot of money and buy wireless#also we had said from Tuesday that we would hang out with my friends today but i guess they forgot or idk and they made other plans#(to go home and sleep) and during the weekend the one friend wont be here and next week my family will be here so we probably wont hang out#again until next year and we have exams almost immediately so we wont be hanging out much then either#also my period is supposed to come soon and i hope that it will either come today or it will wait until after Christmas#ideally it will never come ever again but we cant always get what we want#anyway im gonna go eat the rest of my μεσογειακό and go take a nap#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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made something for frather falls:)
(image inder cut bc of bruising; no matter how poorly drawn!!)
wing growth sheet ft mullet stan!!!
#YIPPEEEE I MADE IT#inspired by another thing but i wanted to make my own with my own little tidbits!!!!#also its later stage two it’s reccomended to cut lines for the wings for the least painful experience:)#the bruising is bc the wings are pushing against the skin to get out:)#yes they hurst out but thets#very painful!#so people usually cut them out:)#esp with kids.#feather falls#birdie draws#gravity falls#gravity falls au#mullet stan#<- i dont need to tag that#but it IS mullet stan.#pleas epleas eplease wsk me question if you have any blink blink
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if i see ONE MORE rude comment about renée rapp in the mean girls musical movie i am going to SNAP
#‘regina’s supposed to be skinny and it doesn’t make sense if she’s not so they should have cast someone else’ SHUT UP!!!#SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!#WHO THE FUCK CARES!!!!!#i hope once it comes out all the people who are hating on her (and her body) are fully gagged when they hear her sing#that will be MY revenge party#anyway they really did everyone in the cast dirty by not marketing it as a musical#because now everyone is simply comparing them to the og movie cast#instead of recognising that it’s a different format which requires different skills and they aren’t trying to directly replicate the og#anyway renee rapp ily <3#also she isn’t the only one who has been getting hate but she’s the one with the most i’ve seen#i saw someone be like ‘no offense to the actress but the point of cast is that she’s really attractive but doesn’t realise it#so this actress just isn’t it’#which is crazy because like. angourie rice IS attractive. wdym.#they’re acting like she looks hideous or something#and as per usual there’s people complaining about janis and karen and damien’s casting and it being an effort to be ‘woke’#anyway. i’m excited for it to come out i don’t even care.#like my expectations aren’t the highest#just because i think they could have gone WAY more exciting with the costuming and stuff#and i’m mourning some of the songs that got cut#but honestly idk i think it’ll be a fun time#this has been much longer than i was expecting but it’s fine#*edit: my phone autocorrected ‘cady’ to ‘cast’
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