#so one must make due
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Countdown to October 19th (10/19)
So Long London Apartment
#yeah the london apartment gets another mention#it means a lot to me okay#plus in my mind this video is just one of those videos that I remember#in my mind this was a moment#also just the oh you must be so sad and it just nope :D#over joyed in fact#this is posted a bit later because a couple days ago I realised I had an assignment due that I did not realise was due#so I worked on that#priorities#did I make the caption say so long london on purpose#of course I did#that's my song#so this was a real late minute pull together#thankfully I had the concept#but god#i'm gonna go pass the fuck out now#before I can over think this and spiral#dan and phil#dnp#danandphil#phan#amazingphil#my gifs#dnp gifs#danandphilgames#dan and phil games#daniel howell#phan countdown
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Just imagining going to BK with Beelzebub.
You buy him a family bundle of double whoppers. While you're in line he grabs way too many ketchup packets. At the table, you steal several of his best-looking french fries. He doesn't mind and slides you an extra chicken nugget. You put the free paper crown on Beelzebub's head as he inhales one of the burgers in a single bite and call him "my little Burger King."
#i read āmy little burger kingā in a comic from tumblr user planefood and its been rent free in my head ever since#not much time to write until next con so i must make due with daydreams and delusions like this#one week until next con. i want to finally answer asks after that and then seriously start my next cosplay#obey me! swd#obey me#obey me!#obey me beelzebub#obey me beelzebub x mc#obey me headcanon#obey me scenarios#omswd#obey me hc#hey! i know this order isnt possible but neither is the entire concept of OM. this is fun fantasy land. anything is possible here.
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Honestly I see Jimmy's refusal to put Curly out of his misery less about his weird feelings of envy or his delusions but the fact Curly is all but stated to be a shield to Jimmy from his actions and people seeing the worst in him.
The only characters that Jimmy really interacts with one on one before the crash are Curly and Anya, two individuals he has wildly different relationships with. It's likely that Curly really did most of the talking between them as the pilots and the rest of the crew as staff. They didn't know of Jimmy's more reprehensible behaviors cause they never really had the chance to and Jimmy is subconsciously aware. If they had disliked him more than Anya would have told Swansea earlier or even Daisuke when things got really bad.
It's why he takes the immediate opportunity to blame Curly; He's the shield. He's saved Jimmy's ass more times than he can count and more times than Jimmy would ever admit. Even when he can't really do it anymore, he mentally shields himself from his own faults by putting Curly between them. Letting Curly die puts too much on him because he doesn't know how to function without a safety net.
In the end Curly only lives because Jimmy needs the idea that Curly will inevitably make things better to stay alive, meaning Curly has to live, no matter how much it pains him to do so.
#in short Jimmy doesnt only care about Curly#he only cares about the securtiy that Curly provides him#and i headcanon that the reason he tried to kill everyone is because he knew it was only a matter of time befor Curly realized this wasnt#somethgin benign Jimmy did that he could smooth over but somethign that Curly would repremand and condem him for and take his security away#like yes Curly did not react fast enough or strongly enough to what Anya told him but you could see him showing more concern over it as I d#understand the psychology behind people and more specifically men like Curly as he is hearing something horrible his friend did to someone#he cares about but has less of a bond with. he feels the need to protect his crew as people first and sadly Jimmy is still the person he wa#closest too yet I still think everything happened too fast for Curly to process as would you not grapple with the fact your closest friend#is a monster you must personally deal with? or that he did something so vile to someone else you have become protective over? Would you not#think of the relative power that friend holds and how if you approuch this wrong it could end badly for everyone? He had all these thoughts#but not enough time to think about them. Also how Jimmy was one of the main people in his personal life he felt a need to protect seeing as#he got him this job. Like imagine the one person you are really trying to make good is still bad after everythign and now you have to be th#hand of judgment youve shielded them from for so long like I do not think Curly handeled the initial situation with Anya correctly I dont#think it was the case of him not believing but not really knowing what to do and feel about it as a friend of both parties the captain and#guy going through his own shit and it says so much that he was dealing with all that so well compared to Jimmy who got everyone killed cuz#he thought being captain would be like sitting on the thrown and not emotionally mentally and physically taxing like I cant say Curly is th#best person due to his inaction but he is a good person doing the best with the knowledge and shitty resources he has cuz like also Id just#be terrified that my suicidal and nilihst bestie who clearly has an inferiority complex around me is the copilot who has access to the most#to the most important parts of the ship and the means to kill us all if he feels like him or his security are being threatened like#Anya and Curly just deserved better because they get put through the ringer like just put him in a class to teach him to be less trusting#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers
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Zim, Dib, Gaz, and Tak are actually all horribly vindictive spiteful people to more or less equal degrees, but the interesting thing is that Zim and Gaz both exact vengeance in very specific, premeditated ways, which are often wildly out of proportion but once they feel like they've evened the score they will pretty much immediately forget about whatever pissed them off in the first placeāwhereas Dib and Tak are both ostensibly above being ruled by petty grudges, but very obviously boiling over with a constant resentment that sends them pouncing like rabid dogs at even the slightest opportunity or excuse to make the object of their ire suffer (and if they're both working towards their own self-serving end game that just HAPPENS to involve every terrible thing imaginable befalling their enemies, well... that'll just be a happy by-product of their personal success).
I don't I have any point to make here, I just like it when these freaks are all an overwhelming danger to society (and each other)
#invader zim#zim#dib#gaz#tak#meta#my meta#natterings#iz posting#the universe was never supposed to accommodate this many lunatics gathering in one place#let alone coming into direct conflict with each other#anyway i think tak is probably the scariest of the four not just due to her competence#but because she shares dibs deeply insidious insatiable anger AND whatever irken brainworm it is that makes zim so creatively awful#also i made this joke on twitter once already but dib must be so desensitized to the OTT retribution at this point#got it from gaz his whole life and then when zim showed up it NEVER occurs to him#that if he maybe stopped throwing things at zim for no reason then zim might stop wildly overreacting#its just a given to him that sometimes your life gets ruined over stupid bullshit#you cant let that hold you back
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KINNPORSCHE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY EVENT
ā Ep 9: Favourite Outfit
#sorry this is so grainy such are the sacrifices we must make for art#anyway this turned out sooo cute exactly how i wanted it#if u know me u know i love this outfit. i have and i will write extensive dm meta abt it and then cry abt his earrings. due to my nature#altho i gotta say shoutout to the orange overall that one truly is my brand as well#vegaspete#pete#kinnporsche#kinnporsche the series#bl shows#my gifs#userboots#taggingmarion#saturntracks#kpanniversary2024
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i appreciate him very much
#fiona and cake spoilers#fiona and cake#i love shermy a lot hes such a silly guy And i would love to know more about shermy and beths story also this is like one of the only parts#i really really likedā¦ the finale makes sense and i did like the ending scenes with all those flowers Very pretty but it was very anti#climatic :( i still like the series for what it did and what they managed to put out there though:) ty f&c crew#edit i take that back It was a very good ending but it must be hell for petri//grof shippers lmao#i think im just going to keep documenting my thoughts about ths ending here anyways i think my main issue with the series as a whole is def#the pacing. f&c was definitely a different experience that at with how they paced there episodes and i think thats one of my favorite thing#s about the main series#how they manged to fit so much into so little time and how it didnt feel rushed at all#i feel if f&c just got two more episodes i would be completely satisfied with it . and also if we got to see prime finn & marcy more than#once. they leave a lot of open ends for things incase they get to make a series about it and i do think weāre probably getting more content#in the future due to that apple end credits thing#many many thoughts
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Happy 5/14!!!!
Aaaaahh not sure if this is my best work š I just really wanted to draw smth for vettonso day but my brain hasn't really been functioning well LOL so I kept dreading working on this, especially bcs its so important to me, y'know? I hope it's good????? I'm happy with the concept, but I was just so unsure on so many of the angles and it was killing me. I did the color thing bcs I thought it'd add something interesting to it :) since I didn't paint it as I usually would
Anyways! Process!
Now I will explain all of them:
Boy king au is where it all starts of course. I think their relationship is the most developed in this compared to the others, but at the same point, they just start from such a different point, especially affection-wise. All of these kinda have a power dynamic, except the last one, and this is the most imbalanced. Fernando is being subservient, the only part of Seb he may kiss(in public lol) is his hand.
Matador au next. They hurt themselves when they try to be affectionate, because they live in the culture of a sport of violence and death. The sword separates them, their love for the sport keeps them apart, in fear that they hurt each other. Seb, yet again, looks down upon Fernando. Seb haunts Fernando's whole career, the constant overhanging presence. Also aside from that, shame that you can't see his three musketeers look bcs of the black background š
2012 core!!! I think this one is pretty easy to understand. Both of them often kiss their trophies, more so than any driver. So they're both trying to claim the wdc trophy by kissing it. Maybe you guys should just get rid of the trophy altogether and claim each other! But yes, just like the sword in the matador au one, the trophy and their ambitions divides, keeps them from ever bridging the vast gap between them, at least at that point in time.
The conclusion! Aka what I wish we will get at Imola 2024- kidding kidding. But it is 2024. Finally there is no conflict between them, there's no big thing keeping them in conflict, they can finally come together. Finally they can touch, there is no gap to bridge, they can appreciate each other, and appreciate what they failed to in years past.
The thesis is basically that they always have their aspirations between them, and their aspirations happen to be basically the same thing. Until those are resolved, the gap between them is too vast for them to recognize and/or find any commonality. How do you get along with someone when you're both fighting for the same thing? How do you get along when it feels like one of you is winning more? How do you get along when there's such a vast gap?
In boy king au, it's going to take a while before they both feel settled about the issue of the throne. That's what makes that au interesting, they're trapped in this state of non-closure and they have to actually solve their issues without the matter of one of them simply removing themselves from the equation. They have to find a way to get over themselves and their aspirations, because like it or not they're stuck with each other. I think with the hand kissing, it represents how Fernando, at that point, is only willing to play along with the game if it's tradition, and he often won't budge in other ways. Yes, I will show subservience, but only in this detached, formal way that I don't connect personally to. He's still holding his own bitterness over meaningfully appreciating Seb. Though it's not like Seb isn't at fault. It takes a while for him to not hold things over Fernando, and constantly humiliate him. One day they will meaningfully show affection, and it won't be some sort of power play.
I think matador au is pretty similar to real life, and the 2010s era(it's basically just their actual plot line but in the context of bullfighting.) They're forever going to have this big elephant in the room, and it only really gets resolved when one of them leaves the sport. Once they're not fighting directly against each other, they realize what they've been missing out on and what they were not appreciating for so many years beforehand. They finally come together because they can't just rely anymore on the sport keeping them together. They actually have to make that step to be in each other's lives, rather than just taking their presence for granted.
Also the text on the comic. "We keep missing, and missing, and missing, and finally kissing." It's basically: we keep missing the point of it all, we keep failing to appreciate each other presence in our lives and in our own individual grand stories. But when we're not forced together anymore, we have to make the choice to come together again ourselves. We keep missing what we actually need to do. Missing each other in favor of our aspirations. Etc etc. One day we will finally embrace and there will be nothing keeping us apart.
#hahaha im more proud of what i wrote under the cut so make sure to read that!#im happy w the concept but the art hurt my brain so its not my best work i dont think#i also never draw kissing#so please take my token of actual shippy affection for once#VETTONSO DAY!!!!!!!!!! AAAAHH#man im glad i realized that last wk bcs i think i wouldve never recovered if i didnt draw smth for it#tho thsts why i think i kinda dont like this drawing š#the process was rly stressful to me bcs im like I HAVE TO FINISH THIS#its my national holiday and i must pay my dues š¤§ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ļæ½#but im happy abt the plotline of this all :)#sigh. when will vettonso truly stop missing and actually start kissing#i rly hope 005's art and mine works as some sort of sacrifice so we get pics of them together from imola#like PLEASE guys if theres literally one thing you could do for me. it would make my year. genuinely#i just need that shock again of japan 23. just the completely unexpected pictures#cmon lets have a meetup of aston failboys as they look upon the amr24 and commiserate#^ see exactly the point of this art. they have this bridging them together.#conflict that keeps them together and that they can relate to rather than dividing them#conflict is not man vs man anymore. it's man vs car š#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#catie.art.#catie.rambling.txt
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Potential September Reading
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien (ideally in audio)
An English Squire by Christabel R. Coleridge
A Sherlock Holmes story (and/or a screen adaptation)
C.S. Lewis nonfiction
A sensation or mystery novel
A piece of one of the Psmith stories
Some kind of nonfiction book
#monthly reading lists#books#a nicely restrained list#mostly made up of my strong september associations#of course it's psmith pseptember so i must read at least a chapter or two#(i know too well that i don't have the discipline to expect more but i would like a taste)#sherlock holmes audiobooks made great commute reading during several septembers and now it's a vital part of the season#(i'll prob only read one or two short stories rather than try for a whole volume)#i've vaguely been feeling i'm due for a hobbit reread for a few months#but now it hit me strongly that i must read it in audio#(if i can't find a good audio version i'll have to skip that item)#i read 'surprised by joy' one september while my sister was in ireland and i was missing it#and now it feels right especially because there's an oxford academia vibe that's great for back-to-school#i want to read some kind of female-written mystery#but yet to decide if i want victorian sensation novel or agatha christie#or if i'll just try a vaguely gothic christian novel#an english squire gets on the list thanks to thatscarletflycatcher and it just feels right to have that be my next obscure classic#i wanted something for back-to-school but i didn't know if i wanted a non-psmith school story or what#so i just went with nonfiction because it's about me learning new things#also several things that didn't make the list but may be read#i was very close to putting the tenant of wildfell hall on the list#but i don't want the pressure#if i do read it it needs to be something i'm not required to do#i will probably try to finish chesterton's 'varied types'#and prob read more emma m lion#and maybe pride and prejudice on audio?
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B'Elanna, Neelix, Tuvok and Chakotay needed to star in an episode where they just talked about their different beliefs and approaches to spirituality/religion. Paired off and all together. I need to gain more insight. I need characterization and I need it to be messy.
#B'Elanna's difficulty with Klingon myths and religion (especially due to her internalized racism)#Chakotay's current strong belief in his own spirituality despite his initial complete rejection of it (and how B'Elanna seems to admire#and have talked with Chakotay about it extensively in the past given how many specifics she's aware of)#Neelix's belief in an afterlife being the only thing that comforted him after his entire family was killed - the knowledge that he would be#able to reunite with them again and that knowledge being ripped away from him#Does he still believe? Are there other aspects of his previous spiritual beliefs that are thrown into question?#Just because it isn't 'real' does it make it unimportant? How do we even know whether or not it's 'real'?#He died and doesn't remember reaching that tree and seeing his family - does that mean it didn't happen?#Tuvok's line in 'Innocence' about how he's begun to have doubts about whether or not a katra exists and what happens after someone dies#and his firm ties to Vulcan spirituality and ritual#ALL SO INTERESTING!!!!!!!!#star trek voyager#I don't think it'd be a calm or healthy conversation either - they're not therapists and I don't think anyone but Chakotay#would be particularly careful with his words#and before you say Tuvok's a Vulcan so he would be let me remind you that Tuvok told B'Elanna to her face that he thought Klingons#were basically savages - he is INDELICATE to say the least#Neelix is careful with his words bc he's a people pleaser for survival but also he has a tendency to bother people and be overly pushy#and I think he'd do a lot of research and be the one leading the conversation/the reason they get on the topic and continue on it#B'Elanna wouldn't want to talk about it. She wants to talk about it the least. But she must!!!! Bc the episode demands it!!#st voy
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Kalina is the most interesting character to me because of all she has going onā¦
she is Cassandraās familiar, she is simultaneously a pet and a friend and a servant and a family to a goddexx that is simultaneously her owner and friend and creator and parent and her god and reason to beāKalinaās relationship to Cassandra is hard to put a name or label on (since what does being a familiar even mean?) but the bottomline is that this cat loves her deity enough to put everything and everyone on the line for herā¦
And adding in that she is a child of divorce. So to speak. I am extremely normal and havenāt been driven mad by the detail that baby itty bitty kitty Kalina was at Cassandraās wedding to Ankarna and is remembered to have been toddling after her as she walked down the aisleā¦
Kalina will be the death of me /lh
#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#kalina#oh my god and the fact Kalina was there at that weddingāthere at the period of time where Ankarna was alive and still a known god and not#presumed deadā¦ this makes the Sylvairean Heresy even WORSE of a life event for Kalina and Cassandraā¦#the existence of baby kalina implies that Cassandra *raised* Kalinaā¦ and the fact they were married means that Kalina wouldnāt have been#raised by only Cassandra but *also* Ankarna.#you are Kalina and one of your parents just was killed by your uncleātheir domains were too alikeāand you can never talk about them again.#you can never speak their nameāshare in their memoryāthe only place they exist is quietly in your memories that must go unspoken due to#Oblivata Mori. And thereās nothing you can do about itā¦#And then the followers and clerics of your remaining parent start trying to kill herābeing mislead by the followers of your goddexxā sister#Cassandra is the only family Kalina has leftāand Kalinaās sentience leds me to think she agreed to become a Curse#kalina let herself be unmade and changed to keep Cassandra aliveā¦ and even as the shell of herselfāa familiar once but now a living plagueā#is so deeply loyal and only interested in what is to the benefit of her *everything*ā¦ even if they are currently a Walking Corpse.#Kalina dislike Kristen so much because Kristen is just not being a good cleric and is in the precarious spot of being Cassandraās only#followerā¦ but ultimately wonāt harm or attack Kristenākilling herself firstābecause Kristen is the only one keeping Cassandra uncorrupted.#yeah im crazy about the relationship and history between a cat familiar and her witch goddess and the layers of their relationship
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Actually the implications of John also being bisexual are so fucking tasty to me because like. OG John has no support system and no protection against the world except his own perceived strength so he learns to ferret out anything that can possibly be seen as weakness to those around him and that includes any affection or attraction he might feel towards men because nothing screams "stay in your fucking closet" like spending all your time around a fringe subculture of serial killing doomsday preppers in the Midwest during the Reagan era.
By the time he notices Dean starting to look a little too long at boys his age, he's probably convinced himself that whatever he felt (still feels but ignores) was a temporary youthful indiscretion, and of course Dean can't afford those, doesn't get to have those, he's got to be a soldier. He's got to be a better soldier than John, even.
I dunno I've just had enough conversations with family members who are loudly but somehow also mildly homophobic and yet say or do things that make me *eyeballs emoji* not to think this is not only possible but arguably likely.
#supernatural#the winchesters#spn#spnwin#john winchester#shifting my headcanon of john to the type of person who doesn't think of himself as homophobic if he ever things about it at all#and would even probably try to stop a hate crime if he saw one happening right in front of him#(or likes to think he would)#but also views his own queer desire--and thus that of others--with suspicion and contempt#like something frivolous that he simply doesn't have the luxury to pursue as a Real Man in the Real World with Real Responsibilities#and when you live like that especially due to your own choices anything that seems like a luxury you view with a certain level of contempt#so he's like 'heh must be nice to have time for boyfriends' in the most condescending and degrading way imaginable#in the same way he probably treated sam's affinity for academia#in fact i'd argue a lot of what we see from dean with regards to the way he mocks sam for certain things is probably just echoes of john#and what's REALLY crazy-making is the way most of these things dean mocks sam for early on later prove to be things DEAN actually does enjo#dean likes to read and he loves chick flicks and he gets excited about tomatoes and enjoys dressing up nice#dean learned early on that certain things were not acceptable for a Real Man from john bullying him out of doing them#and he does the same to sam#and one of the things he consistently mocks sam for in the beginning is his perceived sexuality#and sure we could just chalk that up to stereotyping but EVEN THEN that jives with the idea that#john simply put his own queer desire in a box labeled 'weaknesses real men don't have' along with idk a love of reading and salads and bein#emotionally vulnerable and sincere with people you love#and then he told Dean 'this is the box of forbidden things'#and dean the ever-dutiful son learned his lesson well
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Bruh
'These sounds are very rare in languages'
'These sounds are common in disordered speech'
I wonder if these 2 facts have anything to do with each other.
#Anyone who has a lisp or other 'speech disorder'#i am so fucking sorry for your natural variations in speaking being pathologised as something to be corrected#i literally just wondered 'whats the IPA for pronouncing p or m with your tongue instead of your lower lip'#and guess fucking what its not even on the standard IPA chart#i am literally making a sound with my mouth i cannot find in the INTERNATIONAL PHONTETIC ALPHABET#wikipedia at least has it#wtf#this is like the 3rd time ive looked up a sound example and the comments are full of#'oh this is a real sound? this is what my lisp sounds like i had speech therapy to stop making that sound!'#and similar sentiments#*screaming*#obligatory 'not every speech therapy is unnecessary or entirely due to pathologisation'#have a lisp and dont want to and go to a speech therapist to try and stop having one? awesome valid i love you#viewing a lisp as an inherent problem or illness that your or your child must have 'fixed'? *screaming again*#ableism#i forgot to put real tags sorry lol#cw ableism#jus in case
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Midnight Rant #5 billion and 12 on Charmcaster and Kevin- That woman's fucking AF premiere.
Because we have Kevin, very obviously in a very bad place. He's being retraumatized, his girl's cut back hard on spending time with him with no explanation, our boy is going through it. And then he makes a friend, according to WoG over the course of a few months, in a grown woman. And it's great, it's fine, and then she starts macking on him. And then she plants a kiss on him despite him shutting her down. And while doing that she literally takes control of his damn mind, just fucking harpoons that poor boy's bodily autonomy, forces him to turn against his loved ones. All because she never actually gave any sort of shit about him and from the very start was using him to get to and hurt his girl. This relationship that he thought was forming for months was all a ruse, her using him and then abusing him. And this is
So painful for poor Gwen. Can you believe that Kevin didn't have faith that her pulling back with no explanation meant she was working hard to fix him, after the whole three-odd months they'd been together? And to have Charmcaster come back starting problems. Oh poor Gwen, everyone is so mean to her.
And it's not just in the fucking show, it's in the fandom as well, this idea that the shit Kevin goes through matters in how it affects Gwen and not in how it would have to affect him. Just, that had to be such a fucking painful if not straight up traumatizing event. Charm fucked with his goddamn mind. She made him think she cared about him only to hurt him.
Congrats, Charm, I'd say you were only a few steps below Servantis but he at least let the kids have a degree of autonomy and wasn't on screen macking on them. Slow clap, you're even keel.
Just, I sometimes remember that we have a whole episode surrounding Kevin, already openly in an awful headspace, being groomed and straight up mindcontrolled, and the big take-away is how much the situation hurt Gwen and how bad a boyfriend he is for not reading her damn mind. And it drives me up the fucking wall.
Especially when you remember that he spends that season in his underwear, I'm sorry but the parallels to the treatment of imperfect SA victims write their damn selves.
And when you also keep in mind that when Mike is pulling the 'charm them and thrall them' bit it's treated, by the show and fandom, as him being an irredeemable predator and his victims have every right to hate him forever and wish horrible things on him, but Charm gets to have the 'oh poor Charmcaster' treatment and Kevin's thinking she can go fuck herself is treated as a flaw in his character by the show and ignored by fandom.
Because in the end the disparity comes from the same place as the repeated physically abusive acts Gwen commits against Kevin, as Looma's threats being treated as humor, as Gwen's thinking they're romantic being treated as humor- plain old misogyny. Mind the misogyny isn't all of it, but the age old belief that this sort of shit committed by women against men isn't a concern, and in fact may even be treated as ridiculous, because women are too weak to hurt men plays a big role. Doesn't matter if it's a grown woman grooming a mentally ill teenager or a teenage girl shoving her boyfriend into freefall- she's just a girl so of course what she's doing isn't actually dangerous or harmful, because women aren't capable enough for such things. Which then plays into the age old sexist bullshit that men are simply too strong and rough to be hurt, and to be hurt by a girl especially- physically, mentally, however- is funny because it means they're weak.
And that's not even getting into the 'a guy is always eager' bullshittery.
Just, for the love of fucking christ...
#somebody remind me at some point to write something that really hits on how much that must have fucking hurt kevin#especially when you keep in mind that the boy has dreams where everyone he knows is out to hurt him like#and just his everything from the two times he mutated in uaf#boy clearly already has issues with how other people think of him their intentions#and a deepseated fear of the people he loves turning on him#which make a lot of sense when you consider 1) as mentioned in a different post it's very likely og!kevin *was* abandoned rather than ranof#2) he's part of a minority group we have every reason to believe is subject to prejudice and ostracism#3) boy was a fucking homeless kid on the streets then in the null void and then trying to make a name in crime around the galaxy#just#gods the shit he went through that night must have hurt so fucking bad#to trust someone and have them pull that shit with you- to learn they'd always intended to do this and never gave a singular shit about you#to be forced to act against the person you love#you're honest as you can be about the situation and it just gets you in more trouble#learn that being hurt by your girl's earlier behavior in fact means you're the problem and a bad partner#because you should have just *known* the information she shared with other people but didn't bother to tell you#poor fucking kevin gets betrayed assaulted mindcontrolled *and* shamed as a bad boyfriend for being hurt his girl pulled away from him#all in the same damn night#on top of all the other shit he was dealing with#i can only hope he let himself have a good fucking cry when all was said and done#didn't try to deny himself it due to the fact that he's again made out like a fucking *problem* in this of all episodes#because gods know he fucking deserves one#achi rants
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I DO NOT. HAVE TIME. FOR A NEW HYPERFIXATION. I DONāT HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
#I watched half of nerdy prudes must die with my partner on Wednesday and finished watching it last night and then decided that seeing the#lords in black made me wanna actually watch nightmare time bc I tried when it came out but the format/video quality of the first one made#me never keep watching it but I wasnāt feeling well today so I watched the first episode and then I had rehearsal and watched the second#one after that. help.#time bastard is absolutely horrifying and I love it so much#but also HELP I DONāT HAVE TIME FOR THIS ITāS CONFERENCE SEASON#AKA AT MY SCHOOL WHEN ALL THE BIG PROJECTS CAUSE WE DONāT HAVE TEST FINALS JUST BIG PROJECTS ARE ALMOST DUE I CANāT DO THIS RIGHT NOW#HELP#hyperfixation#adhd#autism#nightmare time#hatchetfield#starkid#team starkid#<333333#but also NO PLEASE WHY COULDNāT THIS HAVE JUST HAPPENED THREE WEEKS LATER#being neurodivergent is so funny bc no neurotypical will ever understand the feeling of something making you so happy and being so goddamn#mad that this is happening itās so funny itās terrible I hate it help dkdhdgdjdhdg#the heir speaks
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Urghh more I Must Betray You art... I spent like 3928392 hours shading the hair just for it to disappear under the final effects
#MAYYYYBE I SHOULDNT HAVE ADDED 300 LAYERS OF NOISE LMAO#but it make this look OLD and ominous or whatever#it was pretty rushed ngl#yet somehow ended up as one of my best works#uHG I DONT HAVE TIME CUZ TO FIX IT CUZ ITS DUE TOMORROW AND IM NOT STAYING UP TO 1AM AGAIN#i need to plan these out so i can start working on em days before they due cuz i need the time..#i need a bigger canvas for these wtf#anyways#unanchored art#ship to history#friendly boat#<- cuz Cristian is the fictional protagonist made by author#YOU KNOW WHAT LETS ALSO ADD#dead dove#just in case#i must betray you#cristian florescu
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thinking about selling my little guys. but they also take like 15 hours each because mother lost the bobbin to my sewing machine š could probably be significantly cut down if I had that
and also I'm 15 years old and.high school exams etcetc . mentioned it to my friends and they instantly exploded and begged me about it so maybe
did some numbers working japan minimum wage they'd be $90 in hourly only also ungodly shipping costs thinking about charging like $20-25 each?? don't trust myself with the bases machine sewing the larger bits because if I fuck up I fuck up the entire thing and have to do it again. and I hate cutting out and measuring drawing the seam allowance again etcetc
mother will probably say no. because high school exams this year. but consider I could be making money and giving people little guys to throw around
#and giving my friends free shit etcetcetc#don't doxx yourself kids unless you're paying me. then give me your address and your payment info and full name and#etjo (friend) wants one of etho (minecraft youtuber) so badly#unfortunately sent sol into ADHD overdrive of āMUST MAKE THINGā due to my discussion of this rest in pieces to solar sleep#chewby rambles
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