#so obsessed with the symbolism and the way he presents his themes

[juustokaku]

Confidentiality - Chapter 3. - yandere!ATEEZ OT8 x f!reader

Introduction: Joining a peer support group for mentally ill was a good idea for the last two times you were there. Then it's only natural for the third time to go well too, right?

Pairings: yandere!Hongjoong x reader, yandere!Seonghwa x reader, yandere!Yunho x reader, yandere!Yeosang x reader, yandere!San x reader, yandere!Mingi x reader, yandere!Wooyoung x reader, yandere!Jongho x reader

T/W: This story will include talk about mental health struggles such as body dysmorphia, paranoid thoughts and more. Possessive and obsessive behavior. Dark themes are to be expected.

A/N: This chapter has only Yeosang, Wooyoung and San. Some of the other members are only briefly mentioned, because I'm trying to introduce the characters at a moderate pace, so it won't feel too packed. Thank you to everyone who has enjoyed and read my story!

Word count: 3 829

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A ring of a bell startled you as you walked inside a cafe. You weren’t a scaredy-cat usually. Your mind was as sane, stable and rational as could be, you had convinced yourself. But those days, you were sure that something bad was about to happen. 

You were feeling constantly on edge, after you had read the ominous words on the piece of paper Jongho had hidden inside your mitten a few days ago.  

It was foolish, even you recognized it, but you had thrown that mitten away. Those mittens had been knitted for you by your grandma during her last days. Although they probably wouldn’t have had any monetary value, they were a symbol of your grandma’s strength in fighting her illness. 

You wished you had even an ounce of her strength. You two had different disorders, but if you just were strong like her and could feel like you were safe, you wouldn’t have had to throw the mitten in the trash. 

But what else were you supposed to do? If Jongho managed to hide a message for you in there, he could have set a tracker in it as easily. After those warning words on the paper, you felt like your life was threatened even more than before. 

Looking around the cafe, you realized only now that you had never been there. But now that you were inside, you never wanted to get out. 

It was quite small but the decorations and atmosphere made up for it. If you didn’t enjoy the sweet scent of products of diligent baking, appreciation for the visuals was a must. 

The counter was the first thing that caught your attention. Soft hues of blue, pink, red and everything else with even softer creamy toppings on the pastries had an appeal to them that no customer could resist. They were presented in a way that no-one could walk past them without at least looking twice. 

It was almost Valentine’s Day so everything was lovely and pretty almost in a sickening way. Just the right way to help you focus on the atmosphere instead of your difficult feelings. 

It was quiet there, no superfluous music in the background, just people enjoying each other’s company or reading a book alone. This was just what you needed to clear your head. 

Just then, you caught a glimpse of someone familiar, coming to view with a tray in his hands. But you just couldn’t believe your own eyes. This was definitely not what you had expected to see, when you woke up that morning, feeling terminally anxious and hoping for some relief. 

But you did not complain. 

“Yeosang?” 

The said man almost slapped himself accidentally as he covered his face as quick as he could with the tray when he heard you call out his name. 

You took in the sight of Yeosang dressed up; he had baby pink trousers and t-shirt on, his biceps stretching out the sleeves deliciously. A ruffled, white apron on his body made him look even cuter, kind of like a househusband. 

Although you found the tiny angel wings attached to his back adorable, a text on the apron snatched your immediate interest. 

“Hug me!” the text demanded. 

“W-Welcome to this cafe... What would you like to order?” Yeosang squeaked out, still hiding behind the tray to save his dignity. 

“Are the hugs free or should I pay for them?” 

Yeosang peeked behind the tray to meet your eyes, his own filled with curiosity and confusion. Only after you pointed at his apron, he realized you were talking about the text. 

“It’s free... just for you,” Yeosang managed to give you a shy smile. 

“I was just kidding. You don’t have to hug me.” 

You had no idea which fountain of confidence you had drank from to be able to joke with Yeosang like this. But those few times you had talked to him were able to make your anxious heart calm down a little. Well, not completely; now your heart was fluttering with a different kind of anxiety. 

Yeosang looked almost disappointed as you told him he doesn’t have to hug you. 

“But what if I want to?” he asked. 

Speechless for a moment, you looked at Yeosang with lips slightly parted in surprise. He was staring at you, hoping you’d answer positively and wouldn’t shot him down. 

“Then let’s hug,” you said before you could think rationally. 

Yeosang could be hiding a knife in the pocket of his apron which he would stab you with. Maybe the knife would be a butter knife so it’d make your death excruciatingly slow and painful. 

“How... How do I hug you?” 

“Just a normal hug,” the way you answered sounded confused. How else should Yeosang hug you? 

He held onto the tray tightly. His knuckles were turning white unlike his red face. 

“I haven’t hugged anyone in many years. I’m not sure if I remember anymore how to hug.” 

Silently, your heart shattered into smithereens. You had thought you were socially anxious but Yeosang was on the next level. 

“Open your arms,” you guided. 

Yeosang did as told and opened his arms widely. 

You stepped nervously closer and wrapped your arms around his torso. It was unbelievable that you were doing this. 

But as soon as Yeosang let his arms slowly embrace you and sighed in contentment, you knew you had made the correct decision by hugging him. It felt surprisingly right to have his buff arms around you. 

You could feel his body sharing its warmth slowly with yours, and it made you strangely a little comfortable. Yeosang wasn’t the only one who had needed a hug. Now that you thought about it, you didn’t remember when was the last time you had hugged someone. 

But as you tried to break the hug gently, Yeosang held you even tighter. It wasn’t squeezing yet however you couldn’t wiggle out of his grip. 

“Y-Yeosang, you can let go now.” 

“A little moment longer, please.” 

Yeosang pressed his face to your neck, and you could hear him sniffing it. A small hum of satisfaction vibrated through his body. His breath tickled your neck, and you felt goosebumps form on your skin. 

The comfortable hug had turned into a creepy one quickly. You tried to remind yourself that Yeosang hadn’t hugged anyone in a long time, so his desperate attitude was forgivable. 

The way your heart had fluttered in excitement before turned into a gnawing feeling of anxiety as Yeosang didn’t let go. 

“Y/N!” 

Yeosang let go of you quickly as Wooyoung’s loud voice demanded your attention. 

Your savior Wooyoung had arrived with San following closely behind him. 

“Oh, and Yeosang too. Hi,” Wooyoung just nodded at the said man briefly before turning to you. 

“Where’s my hug at?” he pouted playfully. 

You knew Wooyoung was just joking but you had to resist the cringe that was about to creep up on your face. 

“She used all her available hugs for today already,” Yeosang answered. 

San chuckled a little, clearly humored, “I’m sure she can be charitable and give us a few hugs as well.” 

“Uh yeah, I guess,” you shrugged, biting your lip nervously. 

“Here I come!” 

Wooyoung’s warning barely even reached your ears before he was already hugging you tightly. Yeosang had been almost squeezing you but Wooyoung was definitely more than ‘almost’. 

Luckily it was a short hug since you had been nearly suffocating, as it seemed like he was trying to kill by smothering you with love. 

You would have rather been a victim of Wooyoung’s murder though than hug San. Wooyoung and Yeosang weren’t familiar to you either but you hadn’t talked to San more than probably two sentences. 

There was nothing wrong with San. He seemed respectful, and God was he handsome, but you had already felt a little uneasy to be locked into Yeosang and Wooyoung’s embraces. 

“You don’t have to hug me if you feel uncomfortable,” San smiled at you reassuringly. 

Now you would have just felt bad for not hugging him. He didn’t pressure you in any way; not with his body language nor with his words. 

But it was possible he was trying to manipulate you with his kindness. After all, under the resistant shell that tried to keep you safe, you had a tender heart. Some people were able to see through your shell straight into your soft spots and take advantage of them. 

“It’s not like I have something against you, I just don’t know you as well yet.” 

San nodded, the smile on his face understanding. The smile just didn’t quite reach his eyes which looked dejected. 

“Do you want to get to know me then?” 

His face was so hopeful that you didn’t have the heart to reject him. 

“Sure,” you smiled nervously, “You can sit next to me if you’d like to.” 

This time San’s smile made his eyes look like little crescents, “Great! Shall we find a spot to sit at?” 

“I’m joining you two,” Wooyoung informed determinedly, leaving no room for disagreement. 

You honestly felt relieved that Wooyoung was joining. That way San would pay less attention to you and the way you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. 

Yeosang watched as the three of you walked away. Disappointed, he pouted as you left but decided that this wouldn’t be the end of his and your interaction for today. 

“Here you go,” San pulled a chair out for you as you found a table to sit at. 

His respectfulness was attractive, you noticed yourself thinking. But still, it was important to remember he might have had bad intentions. 

You smiled at him gratefully and sat down. San seemed trustworthy enough that you could push the suspicions out of your head for a moment. Hopefully he hadn’t planted a camera on the chair that would record footage of your butt, although you believed there was nothing special to see anyway. 

Then you felt something sticky where you had just sat down. 

You got up quickly from the chair and took a look at it. Chocolate sauce on the chair. Chocolate sauce on your bottom. 

Of course, now it looked like you had had a serious accident. 

“I-I...” you tried to say something. 

“I’m so sorry! I should have checked the chair before offering it to you!” San panicked. 

“Y/N crapped her pants!” Wooyoung burst out laughing as he took a look at your butt. 

San turned to Wooyoung angrily, “Shut up! She did not!” 

“Did little Y/N have to go potty? Did you eat too many beans?” 

Your face was burning up. From humiliation or anger? You did not know. Tears were threatening to well up in your eyes. 

“Wooyoung, stop talking before I cut your tongue off.” 

San’s tone of voice was so dangerous that Wooyoung shut his mouth instantly. That didn’t stop his little giggles though. 

“I’m sorry. Let’s go to the restroom to wash your pants...” San shook his head in shame. 

You felt him take your hand gently into his to lead you to the restroom. Covering your butt with your other hand, you let him take you away from the curious eyes and quiet laughter of people. 

San was mumbling apologies as he led you to a restroom meant for disabled people. 

You wondered why San took you to that specific restroom. It was private. It was a closed space. You would have a hard time escaping him if it came to that. It would be child’s play for San to just stand in front of the door and block you from going out. 

When the two of you were inside the restroom, locked up, you felt your heart racing. 

“We have to wash your pants,” San started sheepishly, “You have to take them off for that.” 

It wasn’t unexpected of you to get shocked, “Could you go out then, please?” 

“Please, let me help you. This is my fault.” 

San’s pleading expression made you want to give in. But regardless of his feelings or sad puppy eyes, it was way too risky to let him be there. 

“No. You can wait outside the door, and I’ll call you in if I need help.” 

The pout on his face didn’t waver your determination, so San just left the restroom, sighing in disappointment at himself. 

You took off your pants and looked at exactly how bad the situation was. It was bad. No wonder Wooyoung had laughed so loud. 

But no matter how much you used the cheap hand soap and cold water on the stain, it didn’t leave. It felt like the stain just spread wider, soon the size of a tennis ball. You groaned in despair. This was really it. You’d either walk out with a “shit stain” on your pants or with no pants at all. 

There was a knock on the door. 

“Y/N? Did you get the stain off?” 

“No,” you answered San, trying not to sound annoyed. 

“Get your pants back on.” 

“Why? They still look like my rectum exploded.” 

You could hear a stifled little laugh San let out behind the door before he responded. 

“You can have my shirt and wrap it around your waist. That way it’ll cover your butt.” 

For a moment, you considered San’s suggestion. It sounded decent but there was one problem. 

“But... you wouldn’t have a shirt on that way.” 

“I have a jacket. Unlock the door, please. I’ll be coming in in a few seconds.” 

Once you had pants on you unlocked the door, and soon enough, San stepped in, carrying his black jacket. Before you could say a word, he unlocked the door and to your shock – and excitement – started taking his shirt off. 

“Ah! What are you doing?!” you covered your eyes. 

San just said gently, “I’m giving you my shirt. I couldn’t undress in the public area of the cafe.” 

“Why didn’t you undress in the men’s restroom and come here after that?” 

A moment of silence. 

“Hm. Good point. Too late though.” 

As San tapped your hands, you took them off your face to accept the shirt. 

The shirt wasn’t the only thing you received though. Your eyes received quite a gift as well: seeing San’s naked upper body. 

It had always been clear that San had a toned body. You had been able to see it through his clothes as well. But now that his bare chest was there in front of your eyes in all its glory, a gasp escaped your mouth before you could stop it. 

“Oh. Nice shirt,” you attempted to focus on the piece of clothing instead of San’s body. 

“If you like it, you can have it for yourself.” 

“What? No, it’s yours,” your brows were furrowed in confusion. 

“I want you to remember me by something.” 

That was weird. San and you barely knew each other but he was already speaking like that. You two shouldn’t have had any emotional connection yet. 

“You make it sound like you’re going to die.” 

San chuckled, “Just accept my shirt. It’d look better on you than on me anyways.” 

It was a nice shirt indeed, but you had complimented it primarily because you wanted to focus on somewhere else than San’s nudity. 

“Well, okay... Thank you,” you murmured shyly as you took the shirt and wrapped it around your waist, finally covering that shameful stain. Wooyoung’s gleeful cackling was still ringing in your ears as a memory of the humiliation. 

“Look at me.” 

At San’s request you turned your gaze at him. You tried your best to pay attention only to his face although your eyes threatened to glide over his chest. 

“Please, tell me you like what you see.” 

You got surprised by how desperate he sounded, the plead coming out almost like a whimper. He left no time for you to even answer; 

“What do I have to do? What do I have to change? I’ll do anything.” 

“You’re already good, San... What are you talking about?” 

San looked into your eyes intensely, despair deep in his dark brown ones. He took a step towards you. 

Your heart nearly jumped up your throat as he got closer. Oh, how stupid you had been to allow San to get inside the same, locked restroom. 

“Why didn’t you hug me then?” 

“I-I just don’t know you that well yet.” 

“But you hugged Yeosang and Wooyoung! You embraced Yeosang like he was your lover,” San started sounding frustrated, and it scared you. 

Then again, a knock on the door. A moment of silence followed it until Wooyoung spoke. 

“I heard my name. Come out, I’m bored.” 

San sighed and glanced at you sadly before stepping out of the restroom. He still didn’t have anything on his upper body. 

As Wooyoung saw San appear before him, his voice suddenly turned tense. You could hear the dark tone buried under a teasing, playful one. 

“Ah~ What were you two doing there? Why is San coming out shirtless?” 

Wooyoung couldn’t fool you or probably anyone. It was so clear that there was something off about him. The way his fists clenched and his lips tightened into a thin line as he stared at you coming out of the restroom. 

“San gave me his shirt to cover my butt.” 

Wooyoung just laughed a little and shook his head, “No. What did you really do?” 

A frown etched on San’s face. 

“That’s the truth. I took my shirt off to give it to Y/N.” 

“You’re both dirty liars. Tell me right now what you did to her.” 

The tension was growing thicker, making you dizzy with anxiety. Wooyoung and San’s somewhat civilized conversation was turning into an argument, but you couldn’t hear their voices anymore. Your mind was somewhere else. 

Only Yeosang’s voice brought you back down to Earth. 

“Guys. I have to ask you to leave. San is shirtless and arguing with Wooyoung,” Yeosang sounded nervous, “The other customers don’t enjoy listening to this.” 

The whole day had been one big embarrassing moment to you. First, you had had to hug Wooyoung and Yeosang. That wasn’t as uncomfortable but when added to the list of looking like you shat yourself, seeing San shirtless, and being told that you were causing a scene, it was too much. 

San and Wooyoung understood immediately that it would be best if you three left. A shameful look was on San’s face as he put his puffy jacket on, ready to go out. 

“Come on, Y/N. Let’s leave this place,” Wooyoung took your hand. 

Just as you were about to start following him, Yeosang stopped him. 

“I said ‘guys’. Does Y/N look like a guy to you?” 

“No, but-”  

“She can stay. You two must leave.” 

Yeosang was the sternest you had ever seen him but you still couldn’t take him seriously in his outfit. If he didn’t have a silly apron and angel wings on, he would have seemed scarier. 

Coming to the cafe hadn’t been as relaxing as you had thought it would be. 

You spent the rest of the day there under Yeosang’s eyes that didn’t seem to ever leave your figure. Finally, after having enough of the staring and feeling uncomfortable in your dirty pants, you decided to leave. 

The atmosphere in the cafe was utterly different than outside. As you walked past the countless stores, restaurants and cafes in their closing hours, you found comfort in the sound of snow crunching under your feet. 

Despite the warm streetlights and even occasionally moon lighting up your way, they couldn’t light up your thoughts. You felt like someone was following you. 

That’s why the crunching of the snow was so important. You could hear every step the person took. No other people were in sight which made your heart clench in fear. You were completely alone with a stranger in that dark night. Maybe it wasn’t even a stranger. Like Jongho had said, there might have been a threatening person in the peer support group. And you had a pretty good idea of who it could be. 

You accelerated your steps, testing how the person following you would react. And to your horror, the steps behind you accelerated as well, keeping up with your pace. 

Every step you took was quicker than the one before that until you were full on running. Your legs felt like they wouldn’t work and lungs like they were burning. You didn’t dare to look behind you. Precious time you needed for your survival would only be lost if you turned around. 

But this could be one of the few chances to see who it was. 

You whipped your head around, fully prepared to see someone chasing after you. Maybe it was Yunho. Would the police even believe you if you told them that one of their fellow officers, possibly even friends, was stalking you? 

But there was absolutely no-one. The night was as silent as could be. No moving cars, no people, no animals. Only snow falling softly on your head and melting the moment it descended. 

You stood there like a fool until you realized that this all could have been a trap. The stalker might have been tricking you into staying in your place for a little while before striking. So, with one last look to the darkness behind you, you headed to the darkness ahead of you. 

The trip was excruciatingly long and anxiety-inducing. When you finally arrived in your small apartment, you locked the door. As usual, you also made sure the chain lock was placed correctly. You had survived. 

Someone had been following you, you were sure of that. It couldn’t have been just your imagination. 

You sat down on the floor against the door. Exhaustion due to the running had made your chest and legs ache but you couldn’t care less. Suffering from pain, if it meant that you survived, was worth it. 

“Unlock the door, please.” 

You flinched as a small voice of a man called out. It sounded sad. 

“Unlock the door. I’m begging.” 

This time, the voice was desperate. There was no way in hell that the man behind your door had come with good intentions. 

 “Y/N. Unlock the fucking door.” 

You scrambled away from the door, getting up on your shaky feet when you heard the demand. Your legs almost gave out, making your attempt of standing firmly and ready look pathetic. 

You couldn’t recognize the voice. Feeling completely lost and unsafe even though you were inside your own home, you desperately tried to come up with any ideas of who the man could be. 

“Open the door, Y/N. Don’t you want to see me? Don’t you trust me?” 

“Let me in or I’ll come uninvited.” 

“Open the door, love. Please.” 

The time was ticking away. It was the moment to make your choice. Would you unlock the door or keep it locked? 

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<- Chapter 2.

Chapter 4. ->

Masterlist

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Taglist: @devilzliaison 

[yuikomorii]

Shu-Yuma because their friendship is the most engaging in the series, yet idk if it still counts as mere friendship, given that in DF and LE it was sort of implied that Shu feels something more for Yuma.

I saw this interesting point you made, I’ve played both games repeatedly over the years and have honestly never thought of it as anything much what’s presented surface level. I’m intrigued by your comment and would love to see what points in routes could be used to back up such an interpretation? :)

p.s you converted me into ayato stan ;P

// Hello there, fellow aNYAto stan! >:3

In my opinion, Shu seems to have feelings for Yuma because he is overly obsessed with him and his well-being, to the extent that he does things for Yuma that he doesn’t even do for us, the players.

Of course, he does feel guilty, but even Shu admits that feeling such remorse is unusual for him, and he's right.

We know Shu is a sadist who enjoys torturing his prey in grotesque ways, so why doesn’t he regret what he did to the previous sacrificial brides? Why doesn’t he regret hurting his own brothers? He sometimes doesn’t even feel remorse when he’s hurting you/Yui. But when it comes to Yuma… Shu would sacrifice ANYONE for him.

This guy must have some kind of built-in Yuma radar, since there’s no other way to explain how he always manages to find him. He willingly goes out of his way to save him and doesn’t even care if he looks pathetic, as long as Yuma is safe, even in routes that aren’t his own, where he’s supposed to be a lazy and apathetic loser.

Not only that, but Rejet had to make him commit sui€ide and then say the “I hope we will get along in another life 🥺” part. What makes it even crazier is that he’s reincarnated as a fetus from the Tree that Yuma later decides to adopt. Basically, his wish to be on good terms with Yuma was so strong that it literally came true. When Shu dies in his own endings, he never says anything as emotional or profound, which is a bit… questionable.

Last but not least, you know how the apple is supposed to symbolize Edgar? It almost feels like Shu was trying to hint something, but when Yuma didn’t catch on, Shu was just like “Yeah… nevermind.”

All translations belong to dialovers-translations

While I understand that he might consider him a "best friend," it feels obvious that, deep down, Yuma holds a more significant place in his heart than anyone else. The way he fixates on Yuma makes it seem like their bond goes beyond mere friendship, with Yuma being someone irreplaceable and central to his world.

I know that BL themes would likely never be included in Diabolik Lovers, given the backlash such elements often receive in otome games. As a result, everything is left open to anyone’s interpretation! :3

[sugar-grigri]

Comedy in CSM is the most important thing to analyze

I accept that the last arc can be read as comic, but you have to push the analysis further; every situation, every comic spring, pursues a theme: identity.

While it had been raised, questioned, it's in this arc that Fujimoto announces that this time we're in the dissection phase.

Denji is accompanied by characters of different narrative rank to enable this operation: a former enemy (still current, but belonging to part 1), a current enemy (introduced in part 2), a potential lover, a guy who idolizes part of his identity, and someone a little more out of touch with everything that's going on.

Everything is there to talk about identity, from the fact that Asa's high-school girl outfit is an advantage for going unnoticed, to the fact that she's stumbling.

Because this way of portraying Asa isn't the right one, since she's a teenager who's always resisted fitting in at her high school.

The guillotine is not insignificant either. It's not to be analyzed as something innocuous - there were plenty of potential demons - but Fujimoto chose ultra-symbolism.

For the guillotine has been manipulated by men of all political persuasions, and is also the symbol of a France seeking to redefine itself.

Above all, it's a symbol of a changing world.

And the rules of the world into which the characters fit are changing.

Fami's struggle against death is one of the first cogs in this change.

Stripping the guards of their clothing is also a way of removing their authority through their uniforms.

The high school girls' uniforms, on the other hand, had the advantage of symbolizing innocence and candor, and of not drawing attention to themselves.

The guards' uniforms contained their authority, so undressing them is enough.

Finding Denji cut up also heralds what's to come, as all the characters help him to literally rebuild his life.

If Asa learns who Chainsaw Man is from Denji's severed head, it's also Fujimoto's way of punishing his main characters.

Asa had always conceived of Chainsaw Man as an evil symbol, a demon for whom she felt no respect or consideration.

So, presenting her with a severed head is always reminiscent of the guillotine: the guilty party's head, presented to the people.

Because Chainsaw Man, before being a hero, is a culprit.

Just as the greatest revolutionaries glorified by the early revolutionaries ended up on the guillotine.

Above all, Fujimoto punishes Denji, because Denji's dream, the only thing he had about his identity - the power to reveal himself - has been taken away from him.

Denji didn't present himself, he was presented as a hunted beast

If Yoru and Katana Man are trying to help Chainsaw Man, it's because without the bloody, invincible enemy that is Chainsaw Man, they lose their objective.

The way they both present themselves from the start is through a desire for revenge

If the beast that would allow them to savor this vengeance is not in state, then all falls away.

What you're witnessing is not a humorous transition arc, but a pause in the work's own narrative.

Because its main character no longer accepts pretending to be Chainsaw Man

So the work stops and starts again from the beginning

What does Denji want to eat?

And what could he have eaten already?

The most obvious response to a Denji who refuses to rebuild himself as the person he used to be, and to whom he no longer wishes to resemble, is to grant him what he desires, since what defines this life before is precisely the fact that he doesn't get what he wants, that he stagnates, and that everything is denied to him, even his own identity.

Sex is something Denji is banking on, basing all his hopes on, since what he's experiencing doesn't please him, so surely the answer must lie in what he hasn't experienced, right? His reasoning is as simple as that. If sex is the foundation of existence, then it also settles existential problems.

It's a disillusionment, an obsession for a teenager, who has been denied the status of child so much and is now obsessed with this """"passage to adulthood"""" because everything would make everything so much more coherent.

Sex is also an element of incessant blackmail, but one for which Denji is willing to put himself at risk because it's his only hope, yet another unknown physical sensation, yet another need to be satisfied.

Denji takes up this objective knowing full well that what he's missing once again is someone, a loved one, to protect. For the old Denji loves, tries to protect, is trapped in Chainsaw Man's infernal cycle of suffering. If he is to return to the way he was, then he must also learn to love again, and to love others.

But love isn't visible; Denji only expresses himself in terms of needs.

The need to be loved and the need to have sex are two different needs. Denji doesn't seek one through the other, he only grasps one.

This conclusion on sex sums up this arc a little, this pretext for making Denji out to be an idiotic character, obsessed with sex as a poorly-written character with subversive aims. It's not about falling into the pitfall of a puppy looking for love.

It's about a boy who has long since stopped accepting that he has to go on living, and who projects himself through his non-experience to find meaning in it.

Not having a mother is part of his non-experience.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Drunk six of crows thoughts (I’m drunk)

Six of Crows = FUCKING LITERARY MASTERPIECE

Thinking about Kaz and how he is effectively the third representation of addiction in books where addiction is one of the main themes and although it’s mostly presented through Jesper (if I see one more person poking fun at/making jokes about/undermining his gambling addiction I’m gonna cryyyyyyyyyyyy) and Nina (probably quite clear but parem) but KAZ

Kaz straight up tells us that nothing he can ever do to Rollins will ever be enough to quench his thirst and you know why???? Because it’s an ADDICTION. And it started smaller, with the roper (Fillip, tortured and then left dead with a wind up key shoved in his throat) and the bank (cost him the break of his bad leg, but he was never deterred and his cane became symbolic of everything he was working for and everything that had happened to him and etc I mean COME ON) and also whilst we’re here I am FREAKING OBSESSEd with that bit in Crooked Kingdom when Haskell has the fake gaudy cane to mock Kaz and he holds them both side by side omgggggggggggg the symbolism is so loud I’m so obsessed but anyway I’ve gotten sidetracked

Kaz is addicted to vengeance and burning is every going to be enough to quell the fire or the need Kaz would literally not have survived without the hope of vengeance but it has begun to actively eat at him and it’s almost sad to see but also in a fascinating way we still want him to keep seeking revenge??? Like he deserves to achieve his vengeance but even though the reader knows he is never going to be fulfilled by it they still want to see him try?? It’s a very strange thing to have running parallel to the encouragement the reader feels towards pulling Jesper and Nina away from their respective vices whilst we actively root for Kaz to follow the path of his and I think it kind of speaks to us some kind of acknowledgment that we would be allured the same way he is????

Anyway there is like 99% chance these are nonsense thoughts lmao, I think in done now and I’m tired and still drunk so goodnight y’all

[rosemirmir]

Time for that unhinged Geryon essay I promised:

I've posted about it before, but now with the finale out and with the final confrontation between Hotaro and Geryon, I'm just thinking again about the thematic aspects of Geryon once again. And how he and his obsession with turning the world into gold is meant to symbolize wanting things to stay the same.

While Hotaro and the others wish to move things forward and change the future.

And that is one of the main themes of this show: To push forwards, reach your dreams, and change the future. And how you can only do both of those things by moving forward.

Geryon talks about turning worthless things into gold "is the true goal of alchemy". While with Hotaro, Rinne, and others being an alchemist is about using alchemy to bring happiness into the world. Which is a vastly different goal than the original historic reason behind the origin of alchemy.

To Geryon, Hotaro's dream, and the concept of having dreams itself is a pointless endeavor. As well as a sign of weakness. What really matters to him is to create something with what he thinks has real "worth", by using what is one of the original purposes of alchemy and probably the most well known: turning base metals into gold.

Also gold is classified as a noble metal. Which is interesting to think about the name of that classification when you see Geryon seeing gold and turning the whole world into gold is something that actually has "worth", compared to bringing happiness into the world. Or to create a world where humans and chemies can coexist.

With that: it also can be read that Geryon is an alchemist purist too. Rejecting the notion the of idea Alchemy should be used to bring happiness to others, which is a much newer ideal compared to turning base metals into gold.

This is not "the true goal of alchemy" or "what alchemy is for" after all, two things he says throughout the course of the show.

Another theme in this show is the next generation being the hope to bring change for the future.

But Geryon being part of the adults of the cast fully rejects what Hotaro and the others are standing for. Compared to Minato, Kyoka, and Fuga who are behind guiding the next generation to help them bring the change they strive to achieve. The three of them say as much in various points of the show.

Which is just something I find really interesting to think about.

Lastly: this entire speech from Hotaro during the final battle also really stuck out to me when watching it the first time. And is a perfect display of the themes present in the show:

Gold is eternal, Geryon says as much in Episode 49. To create a world of gold is to keep things exactly the same as they were. Nothing can change, time is at a standstill.

But that is not what is needed for the betterment of the world. What is needed is to keep pushing onwards, and to try and grasp our dreams, and change the future.

His motivation and end goal is extremely simple, but it just works so well thematically for this show and the messages it wants to tell. He is a perfect foil to Hotaro and is an excellent villain to me because of how his motivation completely contrasts Hotaro's. It's a really good use of the original purpose of alchemy!

The best way I can describe Geryon as a villain is "simple but effective".

Sometimes you don't need a super complex motivation to have an effective antagonist for your story. It all depends on what you want to tell. And just from a thematic standpoint, Geryon just works as a villain for the story and messages of Gotchard.

[nalesnik-z-morela]

Good Omens The Final bingo bc i've been having Thoughts sice i watched s1 and s2

About the way of presenting the movie:

🔹Narration like in s1

🔹Minisode(s)? (i'm almost hopeless)

🔹"The present day" boards [btw how tf long are Aziracrow going to be in the divorce??]

🔹S1 and s2 references

🔹New stuff from s1 and s2 we'll understand better/differently after watching the final (like Crowley jokingly pointing some weapon at Aziraphale in s1) (or i hope that w/out reading the book but after watching The Final, for example, it would be more obvious that it was Aziraphale who set this policeman's notes on fire)

Stuff i really hope to see (🔶) and everything else i think would make sense in the series (🔸):

🔶Book references that weren't used yet (well, im pretty sure we'll get those)

🔶Clear Terry Partchett vibes from the book (i need this, the whole fandom does)

🔶Aziracrow dancing waltz to the main theme PLEASE

🔶The dance ending (inspired by "Tango" by S. Mrożek, i will elaborate on that because i came up with beautiful symbolism to this, the link will be here when i make the post)

🔶Aura Centauri reference? (It would make perfect sense with the theory post to-be-linked above at at least two levels)

🔶Aziraphale and Crowley wearing clothes that aren't they usual colours as a symbol of not belonging anymore to Hell or Heaven

🔶"Just enough of a bastard to be worth liking"

🔶"My dear", "dearest" (PLES IM BEGGIN ON MY KNES)

🔶Silly Bible references

🔸The thing opening car window -?? The time corb?

🔸Crowley saving Aziraphale

🔸Or Aziraphale saving Crowley

🔸Aziraphale in Heaven doing Inteligent Stuff™/looking for clues, trying to break the system

🔸Aziraphale getting that the system is broken? Quitting paricipating in it??

🔸They both feeling lonley ;-; (the Bildad episode reference intended)

🔸Crowley stopping time

🔸Or Crowley trying to make time go faster? Or just sleeping? [Fuck nah, that's too depressive] (is it even possible to wake him up if he can sleep any amount of time?)

🔸14th century? Aziraphale alone? (Aziraphale bringing 14th century vibes to the function [Heaven] bc it's the only time he was alone for such long time??)

🔸Crowley not following fashion or trends bc he feels that what he has now is somehow connected to Aziraphale

🔸"Show must go on" by Queen

🔸Aziraphale "falling" (realising Heaven doesn't want everybody's good and neither his, loosing his beliefs in it)

🔸Aziraphale not being able to handle stuff in Heaven and missing Earth (that he misses Crowley is obvious, he will fkn discorporate)

🔸"Nothing lasts forever" in a positive way

🔸Aziracrow holding each other's hands, touching (protectively), physical touch as love language pls ;-;

🔸Other love languages

🔸Aziraphale being protective about Crowley

🔸[Will this be the season where it's Aziraphale of them two who walks first again in the intro? Will they be there together at all? Probably not, maybe they will take turns] (edit: will there even be an intro? I hope so)

🔸The end of Earth? What will it be? Will it happen at all?

🔸The end of Crowley and Aziraphale? (Please don't)

🔸 Aziraphale and Crowley doubting their decision? At least not being sure anymore about it?

🔸Crowley honestly talking about his feelings of any kind

🔸So fkn tired, everyone

🔸Aziraphale being badass (just as in the books), maybe the "fall" would make him be more like this

🔸Aziraphale not being able to think while stressed (like when he made up Jim name, or told angels the Half Miracle was about love etc)

🔸Wings (maybe Aziraphale protecting Crowley from Hell and Crowley protecting Azi from Heaven)

🔸Aziraphale getting suddenly obsessed and lit up over something (like with The Clues, magic tricks, gavotte etc.)

🔸Crowley's flat again

🔸Any Crowley's music besides Queen and The Velvet Underground (because not only he has the Bentley, at his flat he has a whole collection! Ordered alphabetically! We get tones of Aziraphale's books but no Crowley's music. Or am i overlooking something?)

Because i need it and Aziracrow needs it but i'm afraid to hope for it:

🟡Aziraphale and Crowley hugging, embracing (comfortingly, comfortably)

🟡"If performing at the West End doesn't make you a professional conjurer, i don't know what does" paralel but the most honest, from the bottom of heart

🟡"I told you to trust me. And you did!" paralel

🟡Angel and demon dancing on a top of a pin

🟡"Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen (it wouldn't really add much in most contexts i'm imagining but one: as a contrast to those tough, depressive even, times of separation, i just need Aziracrow to have a really good time together, pretty please)

About characters and lore bc im curious (or just because):

◽More Gabriel & Beelzebub content

◽More angel Crowley content

◽Bentley playing Aziraphale's music

◽God

◽The rooftop scene from s2 intro

◽"You get people wet, they're standing in the rain, look each other in the eyes and - vavoom! They realise they were meant for each other" but it's Aziracrow (jk... unless?) (edit: well it actually already happened as im thinking about it now)

◽Adam?????

◽The four horsepeople because the world is ending again (i want those bikers who were behind them in the book to have The Conversation)

◽Characters like Tyler, you know the kind

◽Agness Nutter prophecies?

◽Past apology dance(s)

◽Maggie and Nina seeing that something is definitely not alright, also not knowing where Aziraphale is

◽Muriel learning to interact with people (i mean the process)

◽Aziraphale-Adam paralel: Aziraphale telling God that they're not his parent (the paralel shouldn't be exact but the line should stand, i think)

◽Aziraphale telling God/Heaven that he's a fallen angel (as he thought in the Bildad episode), maybe telling other angels that they are/should be fallen

◽"That is not on!" and present Cowley as contrast paralels (;-;)

◽Stairs to/from Heaven/Hell (not elevators)

◽Why is Metatron a thing

◽What did Metatron need Muriel for (except for replacing Aziraphale)? They're literally waiting to see

◽Who miracled Bentley? Was it Crowley or was it not?

◽Aziraphale's golden marks

◽The 1941 photo

◽I'd like to point out that tartan probably WAS fashionable at some point, what does Crowley think about it? Can we see him in it?

◽Aziraphale lying to God. Again.

◽Is Aziraphale insecure about his body? ("Crowley's" fit while bathing in holy water, his everyday fits, his reaction to Gabriel telling him he's fat etc he's litterally me, no free will in that brain)

◽Did something happen between 1941 and (as far as i remember) 1967 and if so, what was it

◽Miscomunication as a parallel to the wink of the two nuns (or was what we've got everything we're getting?)

◽Nina being silly in a sister Mary way

◽War between Heaven and Hell, before the beginning (also i want to know what monkey Furfur was talking about. Or if it's just me not getting a reference)

◽Creation of Hell, Lucifer and all the demons

◽Time loop?

◽Aziraphale's ring lore (maybe it has something to do with Heaven, i want symbolic stuff with it)

◽Who called Aziraphale to ask about Agnes Nutter's book in s1?

◽Other demons pre fall

◽Heaven lore

[halfetirosie]

🎠 Important info from the [Sleepless Fun Fair] PV! 🎠 (Reaction post)

1) 🚨🚨🚨 ALERT: KUYORB HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT!!!! 🚨🚨🚨

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Lemme tell you---when I first saw Kuyorb in the bag during the design reveal, I just----😭🙏

You know how I mentioned in Greenwood Miracle, when I saw Quincy's stubble, I could just FEEL the collective fandom losing their ever-loving minds?

THAT. That was how it felt to see the Kuyorb. ♡

And now the lil' freak has been freed! Say your prayers!!!

2) NOT THE COUPLES TEACUPS!!!!!! (∩˃o˂∩)♡

IT'S TOO CUTE, I WON'T SURVIVE!!!!

---and how Eiden's cup has (I assume) hot cocoa while Peepaw's has green tea, for his sensitive old-man taste buds...! (≧∇≦)

I have to wonder, though; in whatever room this is supposed to be, did Eiden provide the personalized cups, or did Kuya?? It's cute to think about either way, but I think it's cuter to think of Kuya magicking-up these cups with the catty excuse of, "so the young master doesn't foolishly mix up our drinks and steal my drink by mistake"---when really he just wanted to do cute couple things with Eiden. 😈

3) Not Olivine's background being my default home-decor style---

That Symbolism™ of the tiny Leopard-Eiden on the big Cat-Olivine is so goddamn CUTTEEEEE!!!!! FUCK!

4) Fucking hell, man---

OKAY, so of course, I love the adorable lil' fluff balls cuddled together on the present, in the Darling-snowman, and in the bag---

----WAIT. HOW AM I ONLY NOTICING NOW THAT BLADE'S BAG IS ONE OF THOSE SPECIAL POPCORN BUCKETS THAT THEY'VE BEEN MAKING FOR MOVIES RECENTLY?!?!?! 🤯🤯🤯

5) Fans: We want to see Kitsune-Kuya!

Devs: We have Kitsune-Kuya at home.

Kitsune-Kuya at home:

---I'm just kidding; I know they left out the real fox traits in this one probably just to have more variety in Kuya's cards. Can't be too samey-samey. I ain't mad.

This gesture of teasingly holding up the fox headband is sexy as hell.... (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝)

6) SAVE ME, MODERN-AU WINTER KUYA. MODERN-AU WINTER KUYA, SAVE ME. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Kuya be lookin' fine as fuck in this more modern design, and I'm obsessed. Like, he always looks like the kind of man that will absolutely ruin your life (on-brand for him), but I think this design hits a bit different for me because the clothes are a little more "real."

Now it's like he's Mr. Ruin Your Life FOR REALSIES After Your Fateful Meeting At The Coffee Shop.

❤️❤️❤️❤️ _(´ཀ`」 ∠)

7) The lap-pillow, head-cradling, Eiden wearing Kuya's headband....

Lemme tell you, after the nightmare of Kuya's last R5, I am extremely pleased that we're getting a 💜Soft Kuya 💜 for this intimacy scene.

I hope that Kuya will be chill and 0% toxic for the entirety of this event, please and thank you. Gotta give me time to chill from all of the recent evil-writing!

8) HIS BIG OL' WAVE!!!!! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

It's giving such puppy energy, I'm having heart palpitations!!!!!!! ﮩـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

9) Blade is determined to rot my teeth with all of his sugary sweetness, dammit!!!!

This is, hands-down, my top favorite Blade outfit. Our mans got the pastel palette, stylish hat, peek-a-boo torn jeans and crop top, and accessorized to hell and back!!!!

Our Sweet Diet-Decora Prince!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

10) HAND-HOLDING HAND-HOLD HAND-HOLDING HAND-HOLDING HAND---

11) Honestly, it is so refreshing seeing Olivine purely just enjoying himself; letting himself indulge in this he was never allowed to growing up (shoutout to Olivine's shitty parents, I hate you guys). ( ´ ˘ ` )

ALSO, THE PROPHECY IS TRUE!!!! I PREDICTED MUSTACHE-OLIVINE!!!! 🤣🤣🤣

(JK obviously, but now this got me wondering about mustache-olivine even more....)

12) *Immediately gives his belly raspberries*

(Is it just me, or does anyone else think Olivine's hair looks nicer than usual in this SSR? Did he start using a new shampoo or something?)

13) YASSS, QUEEN!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉👏👏👏

WEAR THAT SEXY LINGERIE!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

It's so nice seeing Olivine out here, living his best life, going out of his way to wear some winter-themed lingerie---I think it's partly to rile up Eiden, but mostly as a kind of self-care. We love to see it!!! ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

🎠 End of report! 🎠

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Let’s talk about hypothetical Dark!Galadriel

In recent interviews, we got a small clue that Galadriel is moving towards the light… for now. Evidentially, this is not a spoiler nor a guarantee of anything, it’s more of a tease to keep the fandom speculating and theorizing.

So far, in both seasons of “Rings of Power” we had foreshadowing of Galadriel spiraling down into darkness. This notion is present in the prologue of the show, when her brother Finrod gives her advice: “Sometimes we cannot know until we have touched the darkness.”

Adding the confirmed parallel between Frodo/Galadriel and One Ring/Sauron the show is doing.

There’s, indeed, foreshadowing in place for a hypothetical Dark!Galadriel arc for her to emerge victorious as “Lady of Light” in the aftermath.

The argument against Dark!Galadriel is that Tolkien never wrote it, which, frankly is no argument at all because it’s obvious, since episode 1, that “Rings of Power” is not following “Tolkien canon” but “Tolkien legendarium”; the show is working the themes, not word-by-word Tolkien. Besides it’s well-known that Simon Tolkien didn’t particularly enjoyed that the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy was too close to the source material, because adaptations must stand on their own.

With that out of the way, how would this play out on screen?

This treat is about to hit the theaters (December 25 in the US, other dates worldwide).

A gothic tale of obsession between a haunted young woman and the terrifying vampire infatuated with her, causing untold horror in its wake.

Perfect. Delicious. Right down my alley. From the reviews, it’s said this film highlights desire and shame, since it’s set during the Victorian era, and deals with repressed female sexuality, tied with Christian modesty and guilt. In short, evil incarnated Count Orlok (Bill Skarsgård) is the object of Ellen (Lily-Rose Depp) shame and sexual desire.

I’m extremely excited to watch this film, by the way, but I have to wait until January.

These themes would also fit Tolkien heavy religious legendarium to a T.

Unfortunately, we aren’t getting any of this in “Rings of Power” with Sauron and Galadriel.

Maybe on a subtextual symbolic level.

If blood binding theory is proved correct in Season 3, I imagine this will play out like glimpses into each others minds. Yes, the “Voldemort-Harry Potter” route, not the “Reylo force bonds” angle. And, indeed, this fits Tolkien legendarium, where Galadriel can look into Sauron’s mind (and see his intentions and plans), and vice-versa.

I don’t think Galadriel will be “Lady of Mordor”, either. Not even temporarily. If the Frodo parallel is to continue in Season 3, and Galadriel does succumb to darkness, which means her joining Sauron, this will be as temporary as it gets.

Like Frodo, she’ll want this. Like Frodo takes the One for himself, she’ll join Sauron.

In “The Return of the King”, it’s Gollum who prevents Frodo from taking ownership of the One Ring, by biting his finger off (and then falling down Mount Doom and getting the One destroyed, at last).

In “Rings of Power” we have two characters paralleling Gollum. In Season 2, the parallel was more visible in Adar’s character. But Sauron himself has been given some Gollum inspiration as well, mostly in Season 2. What does this mean and will this continue? I have no idea, but it could work with the Morgoth/Silmarils too:

They say that Morgoth found the Silmarils so beautiful that after he'd stolen them, for weeks, he could do nothing but stare into their depths. It was only after one of his tears fell upon the jewels and he was faced with the evil of his own reflection that the reverie was finally broken. From that moment, he... he looked upon their light no more. (Celebrimbor to Elrond, 1x02)

The overall idea is that Galadriel joins Sauron but is prevented or stopped in the next scene or so. And that’s pretty much it.

All of this seems kind of anticlimactic, but personally, don’t, see it going any other way. I’m open to be surprised if “Rings of Power” decides to go with Dark!Galadriel for Season 3, though. Or if fellow fans have other theories about Dark!Galadriel feel free to share.

[indigovigilance]

Why Crowley Rescues Aziraphale

Okay, yes: it's flirtatious, it's cute, it's Anthony J. "Acts of Service" Crowley showing love in the only way he knows how because God forbid he use his words.

But what if there's more to it than that? What if there is a much darker explanation that portends major events in S3?

Allow me to convince you below the cut:

Evidence of Repetition Compulsion

But before we talk about the rescue motif, let's examine a more transparent aspect of Crowley's behavior that will provide a scaffold for the discussion of his Princess Peach obsession.

The Plants

Sure, Crowley is a hobby horticulturalist, but he doesn't do it because he loves plants. He does it because the plants are a representation of himself, and how he treats the plants tells us how he feels about himself. Importantly, how he treats the plants changes over time.

Season 1

He puts the fear of Crowley into them, destroying any specimen with a blemish and making an example out of it to threaten those that remain.

You know, just like God did to him.

This scene is jam-packed with symbolism, and we can simmer on whether his punishment of the plants is simply externalized self-flagellation, or reflects internalized standards of perfectionism, or if he feels so powerless that he creates a new relationship in which he is the one that has the power... We could simmer, but that's not the point of this meta, so let's keep going.

Season 2

In 2023, Crowley is no longer a domineering monarch, ruling over his houseplants with an iron fist; of all the memorabilia he has in his flat (the statue from the church, the original Mona Lisa), the only things he brings with him are his plants.

And for someone living in his car, he's taking pretty good care of them:

Someone else even noted that one of the plants appears to have spots, and clearly he hasn't thrown it in the garbage disposal for its transgressions. I wasn't able to see it myself, but I headcanon it because it fits with the observation that:

Crowley's attitude towards himself is changing.

He is evolving from internalized guilt and sense of inferiority to believing that he deserves care, even if he is a little blemished. It is this shift that brings it within the realm of possibility that he can admit his feelings to Aziraphale.

In both seasons, the unifying theme is that Crowley is reliving his trauma over and over, and then reliving his healing over and over. This cyclical behavior is, to my knowledge, incredibly characteristic of PTSD and CPTSD. In a phenomenon clinically referred to as Repetition Compulsion, the subject recreates and relives events of a traumatic past over and over in their present life, seeking resolution for something that has already happened, where the opportunity for true, satisfying closure is forever lost to the past. A huge part of therapeutic treatment is breaking these maladaptive cycles [citations]. But to our knowledge, Crowley doesn't have a therapist.

If this is how Crowley's CPTSD manifests in his relationship with inanimate objects semi-sentient dependents, how might it manifest in his relationship with his angel?

The Rescue Motif

The cycle of Aziraphale's self-endangerment and Crowley's nick-of-time rescues might look like just a cute part of their flirtationship, a necessary cover for their continued association, but I argue that it something much darker.

Crowley rescues Aziraphale over and over throughout history to try to absolve himself for the one time he couldn't.

But clearly, Aziraphale doesn't know that.

It only took one rescue for Aziraphale to realize that this kind of behavior brings them closer together - and he desperately wants to get close to Crowley. Please forgive the crudeness of the metaphor, but: when you need to drive a screw into a board and all you have is a hammer, you're gonna smack that thing on the head over and over with the only tool you've got. The problem is, this is really bad for the screw.

Aziraphale, by leveraging the damsel-in-distress motif, over and over again, is inadvertently triggering a trauma response from Crowley because he likes what he gets out of it, which is spending time with the demon he loves and growing intimacy. If he knew that this is what he was doing, it would be sick and twisted and go against everything he believes about himself as an angel, let alone being mortified that he was hurting Crowley.

So the only possible conclusion (given we take the above conjectures as fact (see @queerfables, I listen to you <3)) is that:

Aziraphale Doesn't Know About His Own Jimmification

What is it that Crowley could have failed to rescue Aziraphale from that Aziraphale himself is unaware of? Well, at the least, it would have to involve a mind-wipe.

We know, canonically, that the Metatron can and will mind-wipe angels without actually casting them out of Heaven. Just because Aziraphale is an angel does not mean we can assume that this ability was never leveraged against him.

If Crowley knew that they were going to do this to his friend, he would have tried to stop it. The repeating damsel-rescue motif (in context of the existing, plant-based evidence of Repetition Compulsion) is a strong indicator that his mission to protect Aziraphale from the memory-wipe failed, and he is living in an endless loop of rescue behavior to try to resolve his guilt about that.

So why wouldn't Crowley tell Aziraphale that his mind was erased?

To properly address that I will need time to write a part 2. But others are welcome to use this as a jumping-off point, please just cite the inspo; it's a little thing that brings me joy ^_^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the meantime, if you enjoyed this, you may also like:

Why Crowley is Blind to his Yellow Eyes

A Nightingale Sang in 1941

Baraqiel and Azazel

The Erasure of Human!Metatron

[northopalshore]

Celebrity Birth Chart Analysis: Matty Healy

✦•┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•✦

I found him to be very interesting recently, especially after the amount of female celebrities singing about him that has flooded my reels. I thought, why him? So here we are:

Please note that I am unfamiliar with him & The 1975 outside of the realisation that many songs I liked were actually written about him & shallow research i.e a couple Google searches. I will be using a lot of may & could be(s) to describe him.

Planetary placements:

12th House stellium

I'm presented with the answer immediately. So Matty has a very confusing, soft & almost unreachable aura. He himself is a very spiritual person, or at least he finds himself reflective of the more transcendental part of life. He may be living in a constant state of enlightenment, fear, & isolation. His life may be surrounded with a lot of illusions and mysticism. He is also extremely prone to struggle with a lot of substance abuse i.e alcoholism, drug abuse.

ex: I've started listening to some of The 1975s' songs and they have this theme of being dreamy, hazy & slightly out of touch with reality. There is also a slightly depressing undertone in their songs. He himself has had an unhealthy streak with mental illness & drug abuse until entering rehab in 2017. He has since been abstinent of drug use but still drinks & smokes.

Sun (18° virgo) in Aries 12th house

He is someone very talented in the realms of artistry & music. He may have gone through multiple periods of isolation or dark periods of depression & pessimism. He may have attachment issues. He uses his music as an outlet to vent the feelings he feels strongly & those he can't contain/control (aries). He may have issues with boundaries too i.e people invading his privacy. He may dislike feeling like a separate entity from his lovers. He wants to be fully a part of their being.

Venus (19°libra) in Aries 12th house

He could have very idealistic views on love and romance especially with the libra degree & 12th house placement. He may have an unhealthy expectation of how love, s*x (aries) and intimacy is supposed to be like. He is forever searching for something unattainable. Forever running through his own fantasies, hoping to indulge in his idea of true love.

Mercury (22° capricorn) in Aries 12th house

He works with his voice, and his career involves a lot of thinking, writing, creativity, romance & fast-paced movement i.e moving from city to city & town to town. Long distance travel (12th house) is a part of his career. He is never in one place for that long to sing or write.

Lust (6° virgo) in Taurus 12th house

He could be very s*xualised throughout his career (virgo/6th house). People may fantasize about him endlessly, his s*x appeal is very intriguing to women, and they may use him as a s*x symbol. People may have their assumptions on his s*xuality & s*xual nature in general.

Moon (18° virgo) in Taurus 12th house

He feels very deeply, and I think deeply is an understatement. He is able to feel every layer of himself, others and the universe. He is very empathetic, pessimistic and may have abandonment issues. His mother may have been absent in his life, or he has always felt very distant from her. The way he channels his emotions is through work. He will bury himself in work, or his writing to cope with any overwhelming feelings he may have. Taurus adds a lot of attachment and stubbornness. Most of his troubles or his feelings will relate to other people & his close/romantic relationships. He may vent about all his frustration through writing (virgo, hands) or music (12th house).

AC (20° scorpio)

He has a very s*xual, and intense image or something about him is considered very s*xually appealing. People may have trouble parting with him. People could be easily obsessed with him.

Jupiter (4° cancer) in 1st house

He could attract a LOT of women into his life. He may be seen as very attractive to women. He has a soft, romantic & approachable appearance. People will feel immediately comfortable when they are around him.

ex: Taylor Swift & Halsey both reference him as a soft boy, a tattooed golden retriever if you will.

Mars (17° leo) in Gemini 2nd house

He will attract a lot of lovers through his work (mars). Many women (2nd house) will see him as a s*x symbol or at least very s*xually appealing. He could go through a lot of romantic relationships pretty quickly. A lot of his early romances may be quite short lived because of his work or his drive/ambition.

Boda (17° leo) in Gemini 2nd house

He may attract a lot of marriage potential partners. He may attract a lot of admirers, idealising marriage or a commitment relationship with him. He may marry twice or have more than one marriage or engagement. His is very much in love with love. Romance is a big part of his life & he is very loyal to any lover he currently has.

Part of fortune (19° libra) in Gemini 2nd house

He is very lucky with romance, money & relationships. He attracts a lot of female admirers & love interest through his work or through making money. He is able to live in luxury, or at least attain a lot of money in this life.

Chiron (2° taurus) in Cancer 2nd house

He heals through his voice, people may think he has a very soft, & emotionally healing voice. People can connect with his emotions through his voice. He may have trauma surrounding women, food, his voice , money or his mother.

Eros (11° aquarius) in Cancer 3rd house

Women (cancer) on the internet (11°) may find him very s*xual, very hot & may find it easy to fantasize about him in an almost maternal or clingy intimate way. He also may be an avid adult video enjoyer. He could like to have unprotected s*x or emotionally driven s*x. Might have a mommy kink.

note: I won't go any deeper than that here.

Cancer 4th house, moon in 12th house

Again, he may feel very detached from his mother. His mother may have been very dismissive of him, or he may feel unimportant & even invisible to her.

Union (18° virgo) in Leo 5th house

He may meet his future spouse/romantic relationships through his career or while working in the entertainment industry. She (future spouse) may also work in this industry, although she doesn't seem to be a singer.

Alma (19° libra) in Leo 5th house

His soul is a lover. Longing for a romance with full devotion & one that never ages. His soul is also very artistic, music, art & entertainment is a part of his life purpose & journey. His art may be his true love as well.

Juno retrograde (25° aries) in Leo 5th house

It may be a while till he finds his true love. He may have a lot of lessons or karmic debt surrounding love & romance especially under the age of 20-25 that he must overcome before being able to be truly in love & united with his spouse. His early 20s and teenage years were probably filled with a longing for true love that he searched for in many women.

6th house virgo

His career involves writing and singing. It could also involve a lot of planning & organising. He's a singer, having to organise songs & tour dates so that checks out lol.

Vertex (19° libra) in Libra 6th house

Romantic relationships could play a role in his career. Perhaps he is very affectionate or romantic in his work/day to day life. He may show a lot of affection to his coworkers, bandmates & his partners.

ex: he writes a lot of love songs, dates a lot of other artists & is known to be very generous with his kisses lol.

Groom retrograde (0° ) in Scorpio 6th house

He may have the thought of being a husband in the back of his mind often. At the end of the day, he'll think about how his life could change if he were ever to settle down and find that true love of his. He could also sing about being an intense lover often. He might be a very obsessive/possessive spouse.

Pluto retrograde (14° taurus) in Scorpio 6th house

He could attract a lot of toxic or intense relationships through his work. They may be very attached to him & feel very connected to his darkness. He may incorporate very dark or deep issues & themes in his work i.e his songs (taurus). A lot of these themes play out through energy and thought rather than physically.

Great Attractor (14° taurus) in Sagittarius 7th house

He may attract a lot of diverse lovers. He may date a lot of people from a different country. He could sign a very big contract with a foreign (sagittarius) or local (taurus) company for his voice or his writing & may work with/attract a lot of international people (as fans). He attracts a lot of romantic interests.

ex: His record company, Dirty Hit is a local (to him) label based in London with a very diverse genre of music production. A lot of his exes were from another country or state. He has no particular preference for race either. If he loves them, he loves them.

Fama(22° capricorn) in Sagittarius 8th house

He may be known internally for his work & his 'wild' lifestyle. People may be very critical of his love life or his ill life choices. They may think he is too hedonistic and that 'ruins' him. People could be reminded of other celebrities that share his lifestyle and think 'he's doomed'.

ex: In the song 'Colours' Halsey sings the line " I love you make it till you're 28 years old". Perhaps referencing the 27 club (celebrities that died at 27) i.e Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison & Amy Winehouse.

9th house stellium

He could have a very open mindset. He is very accepting and understanding of people from different walks of life. He may be very philosophical & street smart/witty. He could be very introspective & intuitive as well.

Uranus (5° leo) in Capricorn 9th house

He travels a lot to perform in different countries. Many countries may have very different beliefs from him however, perhaps a lot of them will be quite traditional & strict. Most of the times he may add a lot of change or eccentricity in his art & add excitement wherever he travels. However, his eccentric nature could also cause trouble for him & the people around him.

ex: In July 2023, he kissed a male bandmate while performing in Malaysia as a protest against anti-LGBTQ laws. It caused the music festival to be shut down & the band was briefly imprisoned.

Neptune (12° pisces) in Capricorn 9th house

Similar placements to what I've written before; working with illusion, dreamy & obfuscating presences. He could have been absent from school life or he was never keen on pursuing higher education. He could also have very differing views on religion or spirituality i.e not be raised in a religious household (capricorn). His relationship with the religious world could be very complicated. Could be very introspective about it too or have reservations on the topic.

Vesta (6° virgo) in capricorn 9th house

He may have very conservative friends, people who aren't relatively religious per say. His friends are usually people that he works with. He could relate to a lot of his friends through their shared philosophies or views on religion/god.

Saturn (13° aries) in Capricorn 9th house

Same as Neptune in 9th house. He may have very strict feelings regarding religion or God when he was younger (aries).

ex: In an interview, he mentions he was once an ATHEIST *angry face*, now he's just mildly so and open to the idea of a god or higher power i.e source of salvation.

MC (22° capricorn) & Capricorn 10th house

He is very career driven & may be known for what he does i.e highly valued in his industry/career.

Aquarius 11th house

He has a very clear humanitarian drive. He could be very protective & invested in the underdogs of society. The outscasts. He may have very unique friends or attracts a lot of different people from different communities into his friend groups. He is very genuine with his approach to communication & community.

ex: He has always been outwardly supportive of the LGBTQ+ community.

North node (4° cancer) in Pisces 11th house

He is very community driven i.e very close to his community & his fans. His focus in this life is to enter a state of enlightenment, and total understanding of life (at least the spiritual & karmic side of it). He may have accumulated heavy karmic energy that he must learn to let go. His life will be very intertwined with women & the feminine world.

Some Aspects:

Sun conjunct mercury

He has no issues verbalising his thoughts and opinion. The way he speaks is very genuine to how he feels & what he believes in.

Mercury conjunct venus

He definitely has a way with words. He can be very romantic with the way he conveys his emotions. He seems like the type who has no problems converting his feelings into poems or melodies.

Venus square saturn

He may have trouble getting into a long-term relationship. Most of his relationships may be short-lived i.e less than 5 years. His career may prove quite problematic for his love life as well.

Mars conjunct Part of fortune

His s*x drive, passion, and energy will bring him a lot of luck & opportunities.

Neptune square venus

He idealises love, and devotion. His lovers will also be very attracted to his dark, emotional & dreamy personality. His unhealthy habits may make them feel slightly responsible for him or attached to his tortured artist soul. He has a way of making his lovers feel like they are specially connected to him.

Neptune conjunct MC

He is idealised throughout his career. People may have mixed views over his career or they may have assumptions about him in general.

His birth chart:

✦•┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•✦

*** entertainment purposes only: reader discretion is advised***

Thank you for reading ♡

@northopalshore

[angeldeviloshi]

Thinking about Gun Fiend.

And I've been thinking about how while symbolically it's a perverse yet merciful presentation of Aki being released from the burden caused by his trauma and loss, by having him return to being the child he was the day he lost his family and be the child he didn't get to be, I'm thinking about how this specific memory also aligns with the Gun Devil's premature, trigger happy nature.

The irony being that Gun is the source of pain of this memory as well.

Gun taking over Aki's body synced to his mind, and the connecting link is that day in the snow, the snowball fight and Aki's hatred towards Gun.

The snowball fight was Aki's memory of pure fun, Gun wants to have fun and deep down Aki does too. And with Aki as his host he processes having fun as Aki would, drawing upon Aki's memory as his own.

But it's not just the snowball fight that makes it fun, it's spending time with someone who cares, someone he can bond with to share that fun with him. It defeats the purpose when the other side isn't having a good time. He'd just be playing by himself.

So he stops when Denji's tears reaches him, this coupled with Aki's sentimentality.

Anyways its been setting my neurons on fire, as I've written in another thread before, fiendhood in csm is soo fascinating and underexplored but what's been given in canon is wild!! If we account for Beam's and Violence's fiendhood as well alongside this and of course AsaYoru's.

Quanxi's polycule has an interesting facet too in her humanisation of the fiends, getting them education, mourning them, caring for their safety, well-being despite them being devils and her a part devil former devil-hunter (kills devils) turned assassin (kills humans).

Fiends have largely been relegated to the background in p2 but theres soo much to dig into w the central theme p2 is driven by regarding identity in the lens of devil transformation.

And with the Gun Fiend, so much of him has been borrowed from Aki that in mourning he is effectively Aki in memory and resemblance to those who know and love him.

Even the parts that the characters don't see, when he has embodied the core of Aki's personhood and character in past, present and future.

He is the Gun Devil, but he's no longer just the Gun Devil, likewise Aki is dead but he's also present, preserved through Gun as a vessel yet Gun himself too acts as a carrier of what forms Aki.

And just the way despite this mismatch of body and mind, Aki and Gun, they converge into a perfect fit as destiny.

Gun's "fun" destroyed Aki's home, his family and Aki sees it as blood on his hands in what he costed his younger brother who indulged HIS fun, the snowball fight, the coldness in his hands transferred to Denji.

This kicking off Aki's obsession towards Gun such that he defines himself through it.

He's all about the Gun Devil as his life's purpose, possessed by it even if it means death, and it's in his death that Gun remains as a reminder of him.

Establishing itself as Gun with fun as he takes aim at the younger brother and destroys their home, the existence that forms Aki's guilt and hate, the existence Aki is led to transform into and memorialised through that guilt and hate.

The snowball fight that stains Aki's hands enacted by Gun as the origin through Aki's hand as he carries Aki's wish and his love as if they were his own, they have become each other slotting body and mind.

And the result is the walking film reel of a man's tragedy borne from a child's innocent wish.

[fruitsofhell]

Lowkey been really fucking obsessed with the Fazbear Toddler Fun analog horror series for days now and I hate it cause it is utterly phenomenal in ways that just look goofy af to anyone who isn't incredibly in tune both with authentic recreation of niche video game visual tropes and the narrative significance of the Five Night's at Fredsy's chronology.

The final sequence of the last episode has unparalleled levels of attention to detail in replicating every ounce of old edutainment game tomfoolery, and to top it off it does not even stumble for a second in using that to tear the game's in-universe existence and the protagonist apart.

Cause its not just the period accuracy of IRL video games but the timeline of in-universe Freddy's locations and rebrands. Like it's actually a choice that the characters are based around the FNAF2 location cast, just with Foxy as well likely cause he was so iconic and The Mangle (adorably adapted as "Funtime", Foxy's little sister) wouldn't cut it. You can actually assume this is a late 90s game in context of being after the brands peak in the 80s, or honestly if you're weird like me you always got a very 90s vibe from the Toy Animatronics and assume this game was in tandem with THAT rebrand. OK OK BUT EIRHER WAY. The game as a vapid attempt at a rebrand borrows its cues from the most dramatic and vapid canon rebrand, and it makes every call back to the original tragedy sting so much more.

FNAF2's location has always been one of the furthest away from the Bite of '83 and original MCI, with the FNAF1 location existing more directly in its shadow cause it's where the story was first told even if it's ironically furthest from it. The sort of grunge and shoddiness that defines the atmosphere of the other tragedies is not present there, and its abysmally short run (canonically was only open for weeks as every other returant was assumedly for years) gives it a certain innocence and purity to it. The Toy Animatronics did not have the time to accumulate that physical and metaphorical rot which pervades the brand through the felt animatronics. They were literally retired and revived to carry the legacy of that pain, but the Toys were a genuine - and short-lived - attempt to almost fully separate.

But this all to fucking say - when the ghost of the crying child uses the games stupid little movie maker to tell the story of his death, and when he snaps the misshapen model of Fredbear atop the shiny new Toy Freddy on that stage... it's fr. It's so fr. It's so "how dare you think you can escape..." how dare you think you can run from that past while tracking prints - while not truly letting go.

It gets SO WELL at that angle of corporate whitewashing and greed that is the ONE THEME in FNAF, to the point I can (almost) forgive it for its demonization if Michael. Because he ties into it to. Oh you think it's just cute and a little messed up that they tried to overwrite the tragedy of my death? You think it's just a spooky little game to come back here, to this complete mockery and erasure of my pain? The way that you said you were sorry but I knew you never were? Like fucking christ man.

The magic of obtuse storytelling methods is how they can thread together odd symbolism and ideas into a story in a way something straightforward cannot. Stories of haunting are fascinating because it allows for the expression of harsh and terrible emotions through manipulation of symbols, and I love when internet horror takes that to the umpteenth level in the found footage/found game subgenre by twisting those symbols of the truly light and unassuming in media even when it's goofy af.

When you're dealing with death of children at a bootleg Chuck E Cheese you're most realistically going to get a Chuck E Cheese style haunting, but the point is to embrace that. Find the perversity of something that is supposed to be so light and childish being forced to bare a heavy, meaningful pain. For a model of a crusty dancing bear in a CG point and click game to be the most chilling graphic imaginable.

[evilphrog]

Watching Wheel of Time without reading the books: Season 2, episode 5

Moiraine takes her son to meet the family, JK Rowling continues to live up to her name, and, most shocking of all, Perrin makes a choice!

The Shaun John ruler meets with the even higher Shaun John ruler.  I am obsessed with the costumes here.  They are so impractical, which seems to be a theme for their entire culture.  Very scary soldier masks that violate the first rule of the Evil Overlord Instruction Manual.  Thirty foot palanquins that take an entire platoon to move, and if one side got dropped would result in the ruler plummeting to their death.  Absurdly long nails as a sign of prestige, because they never have to do anything for themselves.  Speaking of, the Highest John sentences the lesser John (Joan?) to having her fingernails cut, for daring to encroach on a city they cannot hold.  She and everyone else handle it worse than the fussiest of babies.  After she goes off to sulk in her room, Nancy Raegan presents High John with the Horn of Valere.  He can’t even open it properly with his absurdly long nails.  Seriously, how do they use the bathroom?  Is that Loial’s new job?  Royal ass wiper?  Based on Igntar’s makeup and costuming, I assume his duties involve the same body parts, but in much different contexts.  They must need servants for that, too, because no one wants to accidentally slice off their own junk in a moment of self-induced passion.  

Perrin is following Discount Heimdal, and finally realizes what I’ve been screaming at him every episode thus far.  He can’t hide from the consequences of his choices by letting other people make them for him.  He splits from the pack, and goes to find his friends.  Hopper tags along to help him out, and explain why the pack wanted to go to the town in the first place.  His Eyepatch buddy’s corpse is hanging in a cage there.  Perrin goes to break the lock, but is warned by an Aiel girl in an adjacent cage that he’ll make too much noise and people will come out.  She was right, as even those words were enough to bring the top contender in a Most Punchable Face contest out to warn him not to touch her.  She’s apparently done a lot of dismembering from her cage.  He tosses her a canteen, then invites Perrin for a drink.  He snobs snobbily about everything.  He’s disdainful of the way the Aiel girl is being treated but goes along with it, disdainful of the quality of their lodgings but still sleeping there.  Oh, and he’s one of Valda’s Whitecloaks.  I guess he’s alive somehow.  Probably sought out a healer and then had her executed for channeling as soon as she was finished.  Sorry, Snob.  Looks like you won’t be winning Most Punchable Face after all.  Snob is disdainful of Valda, too, but the feeling is very mutual.  

Perrin hides in his room until Valda goes away, then immediately goes to free the Aiel girl.  She is skeptical of his intentions.  He just says “people shouldn’t be in cages,” something he’s probably thought about almost constantly since accepting that dogs are people.  She takes him at his word, and thanks him by saying “my water is yours.”  They are attacked by the whitecloaks, because breaking a lock is, in fact, noisy as hell.  Snob orders all the men to attack at once, but does not join.  He Does Not Approve, you see.  Perrin tries to protect Aviendha, and she laughs.  Her veil goes up, which we all know means everyone else is about to die.  Snob glowers disapprovingly as she slaughters all his men, then finally decides to slowly walk in.  Carrying an axe, symbolically.  She takes his axe and almost kills him, but Perrin calls for her to stop.  He once again proves he is always listening and thinking about ethics, because he says the one thing that could convince her to let him go.  “He gave you water.”  I love you, Perrin.  He had no prior exposure to Aiel culture.  He didn’t hear any of Thom’s stories.  He just heard her greeting and extrapolated her values from that.  He has the biggest brain out of everyone.  That’s the real reason he struggles making decisions.  Unlike his friends, he actually sees the consequences of each choice in advance.  That would give anyone anxiety, even if he hadn’t accidentally killed his wife in what I now think was an early example of his wolf senses distorting past and present.  

They escape, and Perrin settles in for his intro to Aiel Ethics class.  He thinks she’s hitting on him, and preemptively turns her down.  She says that’s not what she meant, but she would totally be DTF, for future reference.  He’s probably thinking “I wish Mat was here.  He’s so much better than me with women.”  They head to Falme, to find the rest of his pack.  Because he chooses for himself who his pack is.  Congratulations to Perrin for making three choices today!  I’m so proud of him.

JK Rowling has taken the girls into the Ways.  I assumed she was planning on bringing them back in, claiming she “discovered” them sneaking about, and getting them assigned to her on punishment detail or something.  But, no.  She’s stolen them to bring to Nancy Reagan.  She tries to give Nynaeve this whole “It’s not my fault, men are somehow to blame for me kidnapping you and selling you into slavery” speech.  She wouldn’t have had to turn to the Dark to break her oaths if some man hadn’t forced Aes Sedai to swear them in the first place.  She’s just a poor, helpless little woman trying her best to get by in a man’s world with nothing but her own cleverness and vast magical powers.  God, I picked the perfect name for her.  Nynaeve thinks and says that she’s full of shit.  

In the end, her justifications aren’t even good enough for her to believe anymore.  The Shaun John leader girl tells her as much, and promises to one day enslave her too.  She “revolts” by untying Nynaeve’s hands, and dropping the shield on the girls.  Yes, JK, that totally absolves you of selling people into slavery.  Nynaeve and Elayne get away, but Egwene is captured.  They try to save her, but argue so much over who should be in charge that they get taken out almost immediately.  Princesses and Wisdoms, amiright????  It’s okay though, because they were only captured by an Aes Sedai in hiding.  

 Meanwhile, Verin returns to the white tower.  Her two best friends are thrilled to see her.  One of them is named Yassica, and it is very important to me that you know she LOOKS like she would be named Yassica.  I know I said that Blues were the mathletes of the Aes Sedai High, but I was clearly mistaken.  These nerds get drunk and gossip about nonfiction books together.  

Later, Verrin goes to the Principal to ask about Egwene, Nynaeve, and Elane.  Principal says they must be doing their chores, but checks her log book and sees that she signed the three of them out to visit Elayne’s house.  Principal is using words like “it appears” and “it says here” because hse can’t break the three oaths.  Verrin knows there’s some funny business afoot, and reminds Principal her library book is overdue.  Principal goes to retrieve it, and Yassica sneaks in to check the logs.  What follows is the nerdiest conversation thus far on the show, where Yassica explains the subtle differences in handwriting that prove Principal was under a weave of compulsion! There are darkfriends in the tower!  The black ajah are real!  This kind of seems like a major security oversight.  The whole point of the oaths is that they are unbreakable, and that is used as proof that the Aes Sedai are acting in good faith, multiple times.  But they were breakable the entire time, by simply turning to their one real enemy?  And everyone knew this was a possibility?  For real, why would they not have more safeguards in place against this?  Stupid tower politics

Meanwhile, Rand is running from the worst experience of his entire life, which I do not say lightly.  Moiraine is showing her usual aptitude for emotional intelligence, not slowing down remotely and murdering a horse in front of him.  You couldn’t have just let it run off?  Really?  Or told him to wait outside before you slit its throat just like you slit his girlfriend/landlord’s throat while she was riding him MINUTES AGO?  She is back on her Malcolm Reynolds bullshit again.

Lanfear is on the chase.  She meets a guy on a horse.  She asks him where the road leads, and he says Tar Valon.  It’s a fantastic callback to Mat’s “that’s not how roads work” moment when Lanfear rolls her eyes and makes the guy’s head explode.  I guess Rand has a type, and that type is “skeptical about common sayings involving roads.”  She finds the woman Moiraine paid to run off as a distraction, and sews her mouth shut.  

Rand stops Moiraine on their run to understandably and justifiably yell at her, so she actually uses her mouth to speak words and explain her reasoning.  Somewhat.  A bit.  I mean, she at least lets him know the Forsaken are being freed before walking on in silence.  Rand turns almost all the way back to the camera, and for a second I was expecting him to roll his eyes right through the fourth wall like he’s on The Office. 

Moiraine takes Rand to her house, showing us that she will really sacrifice literally anything for the mission.  Because, you see, Lanfear can invade their dreams and find out exactly where they are, and has been murdering people left and right.  Rand asks Moiraine if she can keep them awake with the One Power.  She says no, but does not say “because I was shielded and oh, hey, maybe you can help me since you’re a manneler and the guy who cut me off was also a manneler, and maybe the reason my friends couldn’t help me is because they’re using Girl Power.”  No, instead she brushes past him to find her nephew!  Either her sister was grossly exaggerating when she said it’s been decades, or Moiraine used the One Power to keep him looking like a teenager forever.  This bugged me so much I looked up the actor, and he was 34 at the time of filming, so I guess it really could have been decades.  Good for him.  I think I know exactly what the queen sees in him.  He is the sweetest, bubbliest human being there ever was.  He greets Rand, assuming he is Moiraine’s warder.  Moiraine starts to correct him, then stops, because she can’t come up with a more plausible reason to be traveling around with someone even younger than her babyface nephew.  The end result is that everyone arrives at the conclusion Rand is her rent boy.  Rand is clearly very aware of this, especially since the last time he saw her sister, he was an actual rent boy for another middle aged woman.  Babyface tries his best to carry on with the politeness, doing a far better job than I would if my childhood role model came back just before my wedding with a prostitute, said two sentences of greeting, declined my invitation to the wedding, then demanded a bunch of stuff including that I give said prostitute the full Rodeo Drive experience from my own closet.  To her credit, Moiraine clearly has real affection for him, and makes a genuine effort to show that.  It’s actually the kindest I’ve ever seen her.  I wonder if he reminds her of a time from before she had that mysterious traumatic experience, and seeing him helps her reconnect with that long-buried part of her.  She is used to wearing various masks, and “fun adult with no burdens or responsibilities beyond loving my nephew” is one she has clearly worn many times before.  It just fits a bit awkwardly after decades.  

Later, Moiraine is giving herself a meager sponge bath, hitting only the exposed areas.  It’s clearly a low moment, given how much we’ve seen her love baths.  Her sister comes up and helps.  She felt the sincerity in Moiraine’s earlier exchange with Babyface, and realized that, for once, she isn’t the one feeling insecure.  Moiraine actually needs help this time, and she actually can offer it.  They actually talk, and Moiraine comes dangerously close to apologizing.  She accepts full responsibility for the consequences and acknowledges that she chose poorly, at least.  Her sister gives her some good advice, and she decides to stay home for a bit.  Maybe they’ll get to build that snowman after all.  

That night, while Rand is sleeping, Nancy climbs into his bed and starts stroking his face, then moves in for a kiss.  Oh psych!  It’s Lanfear!  They’re wearing matching jammies.  They settle in with some wine for a good old fashioned darkfriend gossip sesh about how they can tame their unicorn.  Looks like their current plan is to absorb the whole polycule.  

In the real world, Moiraine goes to tell Rand he can finally get some sleep.  Also that Aes Sedai rumor says Lanfear like-likes his past life.  She figures he can just ask her “Do you Want To Kill Me please check yes or no” and she will stand guard to wake him up if he needs it.  He trusts her emotional honesty, so he falls asleep.  And wakes up, shirtless, chained to a giant wheel, as Lanfear glares from atop a throne in a full dominatrix outfit.  Guess we know what she really wants!

More reviews

[lasnevadaslaborunion]

I've given this spiel on Discord already but I'm thinking about it again today so here goes

The reason Las Nevadas worked as pre-recorded, highly polished lore whereas other arcs were better served by improvisation (or, especially later, fell flat in the attempt to be more "cinematic") is because that style of presentation reflected and enhanced the themes of c!Quackity's story.

c!Quackity is a very image-conscious guy. He's performing strength, coldness, and viciousness. He's performing power, wealth, and masculinity. He wants to look respectable and frightening in the ways he's seen respectability and fearsomeness modeled by others.

But in the process, he eclipsed his emotions, his better self, and his very humanity.

Las Nevadas itself is a testament to that desire. It's grand, impressive, and entirely artificial. It's a harsh contrast to the organic awkwardness of El Rapids and the ramshackle simplicity of early L'manberg and the White House. c!Quackity intended it to be unlike any country before it - an improvement, an escalation, his unique legacy.

Even the style of the streams reflects that! They become more and more elaborate as time goes on, and yes, you could say more artificial. There's no improvisation. There's no room for silly mistakes. There's no breaking character. It's flashier, grander, more impressive. It's a bunch of bright, sterile lights, all alone in a cold desert.

...okay, now I have to talk about the face cam.

On the DSMP, there are only a few characters who never streamed from their own perspective. Of these, c!Schlatt and c!Dream are best known, and this lack of first-person perspective is often cited as a reflection of their villainy. However, I would also describe this as symbolic of emotional masking. It's vulnerability, and whether the narratives and the characters allow themselves such vulnerability.

c!Schlatt may very well be the embodiment of stereotypical toxic masculinity. He is obsessed with appearances. He lifts weights, takes steroids, drinks protein shakes, and harshly belittles anyone who doesn't live up to his standards. At the same time, he is a deeply paranoid ruler, who increasingly suspects (not without reason) even those closest to him of treason. His commitment to his "tough guy" persona in spite of his faltering health ultimately kills him, as his heart gives out - alone in a crowd.

c!Dream is also a deeply paranoid man (again, not without reason) who is so afraid of coming to terms with a changing world and his own changing relationships that he cuts himself off from all but a few other people and schemes for a near-impossible reunification. He becomes a caricature of a villain and locks himself in both a literal and metaphorical black box, in which he suffers and, yet again, ultimately dies. As with c!Schlatt, what began as a means of self-protection becomes an avenue for demonization.

(As an aside: c!Techno also never uses a facecam, although he did stream his POV. His arc proceeds in a much different way from other "antagonistic" characters; c!Techno manages to overcome his mistrust of others, refine his anarchist ideals, form a community of friends who help one another, and end his story happy. He's a wonderful foil to c!Quackity, though for slightly different reasons than the other two figures mentioned.)

These two (three with c!Techno) figures, alongside c!Wilbur (their polar opposite, insofar as his penchant for Hamlet-esque soliloquies goes), form c!Quackity's idea of what it means to be powerful.

In the first Las Nevadas episode, Quackity uses the facecam in the same way he did previously. We see every flinch, hear every doubtful thought, feel every change of expression. Where this changes, though, is the final scene: Quackity tears apart El Rapids, the last remnant of his early life and connection to his loved ones, and returns home covered in a prisoner's blood.

Las Nevadas 3 has a much different ratio of facecam to non-facecam scenes. During the confrontations with c!Foolish and c!Purpled, those in which he is at his most expressive and physically vulnerable (as both of these characters could easily defeat him in a fight, forcing him to rely on personal appeal), we see him acting through the facecam. But during his discussion with c!Sam about potential recruits, he's all business and all masked up. In c!Fundy's nightmare, in which he is more a manifestation of insecurity than a character, we only see his smiling skin and a frosty voice.

As for the prison scene... hoooooly moly I gotta talk about the details in that scene a different time. But I think it's fair to say that while c!Quackity is undoubtedly in a position of power here, he also breaks down in a way we haven't seen in this context yet. And by the end… well, he's confident. What reason is there to hide? The only person he might hide from already knows what he's capable of. This is the most honest he's ever been about his motivations for torturing c!Dream, and his straightforwardness and undisguised hatred amplifies the horror of the scene.

Las Nevadas 4, however? This is where the pattern gets really interesting.

The first segment of the stream is made without a facecam. c!Quackity walks c!Slime through lessons on how to be successful and powerful, each of which is challenged and peeled back. c!Quackity never fully removes his mask, even around this person he trusts, because he is trying to be an example for that person to emulate.

But there are two scenes in which the facecam returns. One, during the reunion with his fiances in Kinoko Kingdom, in which c!Quackity lets himself be relaxed and affectionate for the first time in months before pivoting to an outburst of all his resentment, sorrow, and anger. Two, when c!Purpled traps him and c!Slime and he is forced to fight for his life before screaming in grief at his friend's death.

And the final scene of the episode? We see not just the facecam, but full live action. The actor showing his full image, and c!Quackity being completely open and sincere. There's hope! There's a real human person still in there! Perhaps he can trust again and change before it's too late!

And guess what happens in the End of Las Nevadas?

THAT'S RIGHT, NOT A SINGLE SECOND OF FACECAM. NOT EVEN A CRUMB. HE'S GOING MAD (SCIENTIST) WITH POWER AND TERRIBLE COPING MECHANISMS FOR GRIEF. OUR MAN IS FULLY LOST IN THE MOTHERFUCKING SAUCE.

And that persona - no, not just the persona, the very person he tried to squeeze into his own image! - is the one who kills him!

And this is why I never liked the notion that Quackity's lore being so polished set the bar too high for other storylines. Because first off, imagine trying to insult someone by literally saying they're too good. Second, c!Quackity's whole arc in Las Nevadas was about how the pursuit of power and acclaim at the expense of your ability to be sincere will fucking destroy you. This way of telling a story is neither superior nor inferior to the more naturalistic style of other arcs. It all comes down to personal taste and how the medium can enhance the creator's intention.

And if Las Nevadas rings false to you?

Good. You understood.

Learn something from its fall.

[pommedepersephone]

You Say Potato, I Say Excellent! Or blocking, dialogue and legacy of morality tales in ‘The Resurrectionists’ minisode PART I

Alternate title: how Aziraphale’s naivety in this episode was supposed to make you a bit outraged

I have to shout out to @bowtiepastabitch for their AMAZING historical analysis of this minisode - it prompted me to finish this long ramble that has been drifting in my notes. Anyway, I have a major obsession with the ways blocking and dialogue interplay in Good Omens - you can check out my analysis of the blocking in the flashbacks in S1. But The Resurrectionists is really something special. This got so long I am splitting it into two parts. See Part II here!

I should start with three important caveats that brought me to this analysis -

If we accept that S1 is narrated by God, then I propose that S2 is being told from the viewpoint of our Ineffable Man Shaped Beings - and they are NOT reliable narrators.

All three minisodes share a feeling of being… stories. They feel like a slightly exaggerated version they might be told between two old friends sitting in the back room of a bookshop, soused off wine and whisky. Like a journal entry that you don’t actually expect outsiders to see.

All three minisodes have some relation, in style and structure, to film and literature. I'm focusing on the lit aspect here. A Companion to Owls is very illustrated bible. Nazi Zombies from Hell is a pulp fiction master class. So what is The Resurrectionists? A morality tale.

My first thought when we opened on the romantic graveyard date in Edinburgh was “OH it’s like a penny dreadful!” but it didn’t take me long to reassess. Morality tales are a genre of children’s literature that was extremely popular in the early 1800s where the minisode is taking place. But THIS morality tale itself is a more nuanced version of these stories, more along the lines of what an author important in the Good Omens universe would pen. So, first, a little bit of history behind morality tales and a very important author to know, then we get to the blocking and dialogue!

Morality Tales for Children

There had long been differing views in European circles of thought about the nature of children - were they born innately tainted by Original Sin, or were they born as blank slates? In the late 1700s to early 1800s, the view of the blank slate was winning with the help of highly influential educators like Friedrich Froebel (who coined the term kindergarten and emphasized the importance of play in learning.) 

At this same time, there was a rise in literature produced specifically for children. One of the most popular children’s genres? The morality tale. These stories showed Good triumphing over Evil and the importance of leading a respectable, Christian life. The stories were extremely binary, black and white in their presentation of morality, something which deeply influenced many authors who were raised reading them. Authors like G.K. Chesterton.

G.K. Chesterton 

Over his career, Chesterton wrote several plays, 80 books, 200 short stories, 4,000 essays, and several hundred poems. He’s an interesting guy, but suffice to say for our purposes - he was deeply Christian, and his work contains a lot of religious themes and symbolism which he used to write serious commentary on politics, economics and philosophy. If you haven’t read the book, you should know that it the dedication reads thus: 

The authors would like to join the demon Crowley in dedicating this book to the memory of G.K. Chesterton. 

In fact, Crowley says in the book that Chesterton was “The only poet in the twentieth century to even come close to the Truth." So it is probably relevant that Chesterton had opinions about children’s morality tales. He once wrote -

Many people have wondered why it is that children's stories are so full of moralizing. The reason is perfectly simple: it is that children like moralizing more than anything else, and eat it up as if it were so much jam. The reason why we, who are grown up, dislike moralizing is equally clear: it is that we have discovered how much perversion and hypocrisy can be mixed with it; we have grown to dislike morality not because morality is moral, but because morality is so often immoral. But the child has never seen the virtues twisted into vices; the child does not know that men are not only bad from good motives, but also often good from bad motives. The child does not know that whereas the Jesuit may do evil that good may come, the man of the world often does good that evil may come.

In summary, we know that children’s morality tales were supposed to teach important lessons about Good and Evil. We also know that later authors like G.K. Chesterton were aware of this genre and it influenced their writing (which in turn informs the Good Omens universe). So why pick this framework for this minisode? Because it is FRUSTRATING to watch, on purpose. We are meant to be annoyed with how Good has so little relation to right, to see how complicated doing real good can be, and it lays out a strong case for the complete inadequacy of black and white world views - and not just religious ones.

So (grabs gloves and a knife) let’s dissect the blocking and dialogue, shall we?

Part II: Blocking and Dialogue

[kizashige]

I have recently gotten into Persona 4, and I luckily remembered you also really liked souyo back in 2019. However I cannot find any of your souyo fanarts, so I wanted to ask if you have any of those works achieved somewhere?

When I was very into Corpse Party I was utterly enchanted by your kizashige fanart, and I believe we have had hours long conversations about those two a while ago. I was wondering if you had similar complex and well developed thoughts about Yu and Yosuke’s relationship as well?

Thank you! :)

ah most of my old p4 art is on another blog but whatever I posted was maybe just 1% of what I actually ever drew. persona 4 was my last big interest, I got into it in 2016 so I was really obsessed with it for a long time, but I didn't post my art much back then (and it's so old, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that now).

however last year, I was part of a souyo zine but I never posted my piece. this would be the first time I'm showing this off

I still love persona 4. it remains one of my favorite games of all time and was definitely a major influence towards my current taste.

I think about this often, but one thing that p4 really influenced me now with corpse party is that I've always focused on the metaphorical aspect of the darkening first, that it twists a character's desires rather than it being a completely literal corruption. it's a similar mechanic as the shadows throughout the persona series. shadows in persona are uncomfortable, contorted representations of a person's psyche, that aren't entirely true. the darkening is just as ugly and awful and confusing. it's all about symbolism.

another thing is that I focus a lot on the societal aspects in kizami and morishige's characters, how being neurodivergent and just * being different * affects them in their everyday social life, which is also a very present theme throughout persona. like, yeah, they're fun characters because they're gorehounds, but that's not The Thing that got me attached to them in the first place. I often wonder if I hadn't been into p4 before, if I would have read their characters very, very differently.

ANYWAYS, when it comes to yu and yosuke's relationship, I also had very particular ideas of their characters and dynamic to where I was quite miserable being in the fandom. you've given me the opportunity to rant about this, so as someone who was obsessed with souyo for almost four years straight, I basically hated yu and yosuke's characterization in fandom.

people who hate yosuke, whatever, but people who thought yosuke was just a happy-go-lucky, bubbly idiot who always needed yu to scold him for being homophobic pissed me off so much. souyo fans are basically incapable of addressing yosuke's internalized homophobia in any meaningful way because all they do is make yu their mouthpiece for times where they themselves wanted to scold yosuke while playing the game, thus so much fanwork comes across more as just self inserting rather than writing yu as an actual character with his own personality where he can be just as immature and dumb, even in his own dialogue options. I guess this is just the nature of working with a silent protagonist, but I hated it so much. clearly, I still do.

I related to yosuke a lot as many other people did, but I was a BIG fan of shadow yosuke and cared a lot on what that guy meant for yosuke's overall character. yosuke is so often reduced to his homophobia, that many people miss out on his general issues with wanting to be special and to stand out, and how this makes him a very clear parallel to adachi. I think yu is a parallel to adachi mostly through their narrative roles as protagonist and antagonist and through such symbolism, but the parallels between yosuke and adachi go beyond just that and to the core of their personalities and backgrounds and that always made me crazy.

adachi and yosuke both suffer from constant boredom, masking, resenting everything around them, and feeling so unfulfilled in life. the difference is that yosuke was able to make real friends, instead of becoming obsessed with his own ineptitude and pessimism like adachi did.

and that really, really got to me about yosuke's character. I loved how much he hated everyone and everything around him, I loved that he was basically living his life aimlessly, that he was trying so hard to find some purpose, that he always made mistakes and fucked up and would act out by being an asshole either intentionally or unintentionally. his homophobia was only * one * part of that.

I don't have as much to say about yu individually, but my interpretation of him was always that loneliness was a major part of his character. his implied backstory of always moving around and having neglectful parents leading him to being very apathetic to most people as a result, only to then be terrified of letting go once he finally found people he belongs with. I was obsessed with how the anime ran with his abandonment issues, how he kept everyone in a timeloop because he didn't want to be alone again.

basically, I always saw yosuke as someone who was pissed off deep down and wanted an escape through the tv world, and that yu was someone who wanted to belong somewhere so much, that it scared him. that they were two lonely, socially inept, fumbling teenagers who wanted to mean something to someone. I thought they were obsessed with each other.

I've said a lot and I could probably say more, but this was definitely an interesting ask as yu and yosuke have sort of just been in the background for me these past few years. I think whatever I wanted out of souyo I saw in kizashige a lot as well, which is funny because to an outsider, they're incredibly different ships. this tweet says it all though.