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transmascxielian · 15 days ago

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how life feels when you delete instagram off your phone

#ive still got it on my laptop so i can like. use it #but this way i wont be on it at school all the time or spend hours on reels #im fictionallawyerlover on there if anyone wants to follow me #but like #its crazy how using it on desktop rly cements how much reels r meant to be addictive #bc as soon as the majority of the screen Isnt reels the effect is gone.#like sure it has endless scrolling #but its not on your entire phone screen #so now im feeling very much like #ohohoho your manipulative tactics wont work on me!#my irls already started placing bets on when im gonna redownload. which is awesome bc im too competitive to not prove them wrong #thus motivating me to commit to it!!!!!#lyf laugh love

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catmask · 1 year ago

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its true that romance amd friendship will not solve everything but. objectively speaking its very hard to get sad when you can say 'lets go get cake tomorrow okay' and someone will go get cake with you. like there is some good at least. you know

#i think this is why ive been so much more geniunely happy these last few years #like. i will never be going to bed alone. i will always have someone who wants me here #i will always have someone to say 'im sorry im not feeling very well now' and they will be concerned instead of being annoyed #at you as if those feelings are an inconvenience #scratchpost #txt

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hinamie · 2 months ago

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corvidae

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk fanart #jujutsu kaisen fanart #yuji itadori #itadori yuuji #blood/#yuuji #im not tagging this as spoilers idc sue me . iykyk but i dont think it's obvious enough at all 2 warrant the tag #idrk what this is sorry ive been having a hard time drawing n feeling inspired lately :'>>> so it goes #i find i tend to default to drawing birds when that happens ???#did it with gojo did it with shiro and now it's yuuji's turn ig #sometimes it's helpful to just . mess around with a whole bunch of brushes until something looks ok #and birds and feathers lean soooo well 2 playing around w brushes theyre very forgiving #flowers also kind of so i threw in some camellias bc i figured why not add More Red #i think they mean something that's probably relevant but i was more looking fr the shape of the petals #th rounded tops blend rly seamlessly with the way i rendered th feathers so i am like!!!! nice #just checked also apparently red camellias just mean love and devotion lmao should have guessed #'perishing with grace' also hm hm hm that's kind of wild with th crows #anyway i didn't put too much thought in2 this one so i won't talk fr ages about the symbolism it's all pretty much right there #anyway ty fr being patient with me im sorry draws have been slow :<#ill come out of it ill bounce back!

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starry-bi-sky · 2 months ago

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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

#svsss #luo binghe #svsss au #scum villain #scum villian self saving system #shen yuan #shen qingqiu #disciple shen yuan #lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops #im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either #had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him #when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi #hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th #sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his #back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's #face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is #INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and #the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of #his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so #unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face #and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc #he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]

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cthulhum · 8 months ago

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does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship

#supernatural #dean winchester #spn #destiel #castiel #deancas #misha collins #im 20 i have been Experiencing supernatural and johnlock since i was 12 and merthur since wayy before that i have fought Wars #this is crazy #i love u hannibal i love u 911 (if u make eddie gay)#for the love of god by 'mostly headcanoned' i dont mean that it was never intentional #i am aware that they put the subtext in on purpose #they knew what they were doing #but my focus here is on the actor actually saying it because like #if its not mostly headcanoned then y was the entire cast denying it for years AND YEARS #like do yall not remember what jared and jenesn used to say #there have been many many many instances where the cast has made us feel crazy/stupid for saying anything abt destiel #im just saying TO ME its crazy that actors and creators talk so openly about these things now !!! again i was raised on merlin and sherlock #ok also im confused on the queerbaiting part #everyones saying its queer coding and not queer baiting but cant they be true at the same time ?#im not being dumb on purpose i swear im just confused #like yes dean is very much bi coded and their relationship is queer coded but if the creators deny everything #and we only get a last minute confession after 11 years #that doesnt count as queer baiting ?#someone smart explain this to me 🙏

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heartorbit · 2 months ago

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figure skating set right now please. thanks

#project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #proseka #tsukasa tenma #nene kusanagi #rui kamishiro #wxs #wonderlands x showtime #GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww #after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old #anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set #(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side #however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress #from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look #but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again #it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning #is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled #my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist #i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.

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sharkylad · 4 months ago

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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.

Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?

Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.

The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.

Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.

It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.

I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.

He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.

#gravity falls #grunkle stan #stanley pines #STANLEYYYYYY #STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants #Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with #the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten #The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you #that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help #If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once #Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON #I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming #But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything #Like he really mattered so little to the people around him #and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too #I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him #The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things #And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year #Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people #the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better #its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand

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inkskinned · 1 year ago

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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

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gooseinsoup · 11 months ago

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save me nanny ashtoreth.... save me

saw this dress on instagram and then the worms in my brain took over :D

if anyone has a dress theyd like to suggest to see a femziraphale in... send it thru my askbox or dms cause im on the hunt too :3

#god this colouring is so sloppy but its bc i just had my first day back at school today im so tired i cbf #as soon as i got home i had one of those After School Naps #like the kind that you wake up feeling like you got hit by a bus #and now its 12:30 in the morning and im very much awake #anyways yeah art wont be coming as often unfortunately #good omens #good omens fanart #crowley #ineffable husbands #digital art #nanny ashtoreth

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ribbononline · 7 months ago

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Sylv/Gard + Shiny fusion

#getting its own post because im proud of htem YIPPEE!#sylveon #gardevoir #pokemon fusion #pokefusion #these r redos of very old sprites and im really happy with how much better they look #redoing some of my old sprites has been fun because dang i got a lot better in a year #the thing i struggle most w w my own art isnt that its ugly its often that i feel like im Just Not Getting Better #so this has been exciting :]#now my regular digital art HAS been backsliding and um that is an issue. girl help i cant fucking draw anymore #but uh. one at a time i guess. taking what i can get

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trauma-bot · 1 month ago

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sin eater

#sorry its been a minute!!! the horrors. you understand.#anyways yall ready for another gloom tag essay because here we go!!!#im constantly thinking about the ramifications of uzi literally eating cyn and her now being apart of her.#specifically how it impacts uzi mentally. like dgmw i LOVE the silly cyntail shenanigans in fanart (ive also contributed to this) however #when i really think about it in relation to uzi's arc i go crazy insane #uzi is a character who is grasping for control after a lifetime of not having it.#she has no control over how her peers treat her. she has no control over khan neglecting her for reasons that arent her fault.#she quite literally has no control over the solver taking her over and making her do monstrous things against her will #which solidifies her feelings of being a freak monster who everyone was right to outcast and mistreat.#because im Unwell i interpret her calling herself god as a way to convince herself of having control- and to lock away feelings of impurity #if anyone is in control- if anyone is loved and cherished despite any and all wrong doings- its a god.#and that all comes to a head when she eats the heart of cyn thereby destroying the AS- a literal manifestation of a corrupted god- for good #finally taking back control from the entity that had been terrorizing and traumatizing both her and her loved ones. but did she really?#cyn is apart of her now. powerless sure- but that doesnt take away the horrors she wrought previously #and even so- has uzi ever stopped being just a host? do you think shes terrified of cyn regaining power out of the blue?#do you think uzi ever stops feeling like a monster?#“sin eating” was a thing that happened where someone would consume ritual foods to take on the sins of a recently deceased person #thus absolving said deceased person of any sins and putting them onto the sin eater. being a sin eater ensured eternal damnation.#and i just think about that a lot. when applying that (symbolically ofc(somewhat literally. she very much is a cyn eater)) to what uzi did.#“gloom you're reading way too much into this” THE LITTLE GOTH ROBOT. MAKES ME INSANE IN THE HEAD. OK!!!!!#gloom.art #murder drones #murder drones fanart #murder drones uzi #uzi murder drones #uzi doorman #uzi md #md uzi #uzi fanart

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arcanegifs · 1 month ago

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God, I'm (yet again) exhausted. What a show. I will say, flaws and all, it's still one of the best animated series I've watched. Ever. No, I don't think it deserves the vitriol it's getting on social media.

I have a LOT of emotions right now. I don't think I'm even thinking straight after watching through everything once. It definitely needs to be re-watched multiple times. No, I'm not offering any kind of insights or anything like that. I think I'm just too emotional seeing my favorite show end.

I really wanna thank the writers, directors, artists, animators, producers, and everyone else who worked on this show for this work of art. It was beautiful, and it's why I love making gifs of this show.

And just because this show has ended, doesn't mean I'll stop making things. There's two whole seasons to work with now. I hope I can have enough free time to post regularly. I still need to make some 8k wallpapers and a ton of gifs haha.

I'll take a break and sleep for now. I'll see what I can make when I wake up tomorrow. I have so many things I want to do, but I also feel like crap and I too, have a life LMAO.

Oh, and I'm still looking forward to the next stories that they tell us! Runeterra truly has amazing lore. Excited to see what's next!

Thank you for all the likes, reblogs, and support you guys give to my lil sideblog! I appreciate you guys so much <3

#personal tag #its arcane.... not everything will be happy fr but gah my heart hurts #ive also allowed replies for now in all gifsets and posts but piss me off and i will block you and close it again #i havent rlly processed everything bc ive been making gifs #but yeah im in fuckin shambles idk what to feel honestly #it rlly hurts to see ppl totally shit on the show you love but i suppose its a sign not to look at social media in general #criticisms are fine but some of them take it a bit too far #the first season was so good (and most ppl watched it with 0 expectations in mind) that the second season had too much to live up to #for what it's worth i still very much enjoyed it even with a few gripes #my grade is like 9.5/10 for s2 while s1 gets like a 11/10 haha #i have a feeling that when i rewatch the show i’ll appreciate it more since im less emotional haha the score will prolly go higher #thank you to everyone who was a part of this show <3 #anyways its 2am goodnight my goal for the next coming days is a gifset or two a day #thank you everyone ily <3

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monstermonger · 3 months ago

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Hello!! In your banner, what is the black and purple bird called? I recognise the blackcapped chickadee and the wren (?) but im not sure what the third bird is :O Thank you!