#so nervous about posting this
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Oh my god y’all I actually drew a thing in magma whaaat-
@venomous-qwille I hope my art somewhat lives up to your standards hahah I know I’m such a babie and I prommie I’ll try to get some of the other characters (like Sol- especially Sol—) drawn soon :D
But I just saw Clip because I was lurkin on your blog and I loved his colors and design and everything sm I just had to draw himmm
#idk how to tag this#uhhhhh#anyways i hope you enjoy#scuttling away into the shadows now#so nervous about posting this#kiki also draws fanart
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Haven't drawn anything in... a very long time. Over a year. But the game is down for maintenance, so have this... sketch? Very unrefined drawing? Have this graven image of Emet-Selch. I love him.
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism
(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)
#literally please be so so so fucking niceys to her i am so nervous about this for no reason#it's literally fine it's gonna be perfectly functional. I Am Going To Lose My Mind#i can always make another post if it gets fucked up somehow... i can always make another post...#anyway. hi. this is aromanticism. i made her for class. and then revised her for class. and now she's like my child#losing my miiiiiiiind#poetry#kind of like a uquiz too. to be honest haha#except i can make you read more somehow (long questions instead of long answers)#it's a little choose your own adventure......#poem#poems#poets on tumblr#poems and poetry#poetsandwriters#poems about aromanticism#aromantic#aro poet#aro poetry#aro#aromanticism#aroace#arospec#aspec#itch.io#GOD OKAY I'M JUST POSTING IT.
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save me bonnie isat… bonnie isat… save me…
woah what!!! isat fanart with color??? preposterous. greyscaled versions under the cut!! (and also the last doodle without the crusty old drawing next to it!! incase you want to use it for anything)
anyways. uh. scampers away like a little rat
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#haha so maybe if i schedule this to post after i fall asleep the Anxiété in my brain won’t blow me up#<- guy who is about to explode#first time posting art on tumblr woooo#and it only took. a year and a half#and a month of telling people that i’ll definitely post art soon#but anyways hi to anyone who recognizes me from isatcord!!#i’ve been in fandom before but i’ve never had the courage to actually. engage?? with people??#but talking to people in the server has been really nice??? you guys are so friendly??#so um#thanks for the warm reception!!! and the patience!! god i’ve kept yall waiting#hopefully by the time i wake up i’ll be less nervous
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thank you for loving me
(Edit: now available as a print!)
#the owl house#huntlow#hunter wittebane#willow park#toh hunter#toh spoilers#toh winter#toh willow#toh fanart#the golden guard#myart#hunter x willow#wintery junk#watching and dreaming#Toh s3 spoilers#I feel so nervous about posting this I don’t know why#I put a lot of my heart into this WAD huntlow tribute piece I hope you guys like it
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OLYMPIAN GODS
HADES (dev. Supergiant Games)
#hades#hades game#hadesedit#gamingedit#indieedit#gameplaydaily#dailygaming#userrose#tuserrae#creatormari#usercynti#usermbg#usersarah#wlwaerith#vindicia#*hades#*gif#help i'm so nervous about posting this >.<#but also really proud! it's my first time making this sort of gifset
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“we should stop asking random strangers about their sexuality/gender unprompted” and “queer people should be able to be proud and open about their identity” are two statements that can and should coexist
#idk if this is considered a hot take so i’m nervous about posting this one#wish me luck#scottie speaks
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Maybe this could cheer some people up, but I finally drew a Mario x Peach proposal
#i just read back one of my mutual's posts about this and was inspired#mario being EXTREEEEMELY nervous even when practicing with luigi nine hundred times beforehand#peach being so overcome with emotion and knowing this would be hard for him to do#ughhhh it's my cup of tea#mario#super mario#super mario bros#mareach#mario x peach#princess peach#smb#mario bros
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here's UTY Starlo, Martlet, Ceroba and Dalv in fancy clothes!
finally as separate images! from that one undertale yellow fashion animation meme thing i did lol
#undertale yellow#undertale#Starlo#Martlet#Ceroba#Dalv#UTY#undertale yellow fanart#UTY fanart#UTY Starlo#UTY Martlet#UTY Ceroba#UTY Dalv#fanart#digital art#sen draws#been a bit nervous about posting art for quite a while#but i've recently been accumulating some so i gotta catch up!
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Just some words I've been needing to hear for a few weeks now and once I finally wrote them down, I thought maybe there were other people who might need to hear them too ���️
You don't need to be anyone's favorite writer for your writing to be good.
The worth of your writing is not measured by whether or not you're included in fic recs or the amount of comments/asks you get.
Your works don't need to be recognized as some of The fics of the fandom to be good or worth reading.
'Popular' writers in your fandom are also just writers (and humans!!) : you don't need to impress or be noticed by them to have a place in your fandom. Fandom should be fun so don't let your brain ruin it with a misplaced sense of competition <3
You don't need to post a fic every week to be considered a writer. You don't need to write every week to be a writer. There is no limited places in fandom: come and go as you want and as life allows you to. Post when you feel like it, there is no trend to surf on to stay 'relevant' as a fic writer or a content creator. Fandom will always wait for you.
Your writing is good, and the more you write, the more you find your style, the better it gets.
Your writing made someone's day. Your writing is helping the fandom stay alive. Your writing should make you happy, and that happiness should not be proportional to how recognized you are in your fandom.
I know it can be discouraging to see tons of fic recs in your fandom and none of them including your fics. But yesterday, when I was feeling down, I re-read my own published works because they were the stories I wanted to read. And I enjoyed reading them, so much. And that is enough to keep me writing, because it showed me there is no better person to write the stories I have in my head than myself (a huge progress considering months ago, I couldn't reread something I'd written because I was cringeing too hard to get through two sentences).
Find your people that will always hype you and your fics up: you and your writing don't have to appeal to every single person in your fandom. Write niche fics! Rarepairs seemingly no one brought up before! Include headcanons and takes and interpretations you've never seen written before!
Write the stories you are dying to read, and I promise you, you'll find other people who were hoping to find that story somewhere, too.
Your writing is unique because it can only ever be yours and same goes for your stories; your writing is worth reading and your stories are worth being written <3
#feeling really nervous about posting this because my brain is convinced people will think it's a dig when it is absolutely not#but they're the words I needed someone to tell me for weeks so if it can help anyone <3#so I really hope no one interprets them as a dig lmao#every work published is a blessing to the fandom#kind of my take on the write for yourself i guess#writing positivity#on writing#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing encouragement#writing motivation
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Been stalling on posting but s/o to @ask-spiderpool 's lovley Anita and Peter...they are everything 💖💖💖
#driving myself insane about posting and how to and yadda yadda yadda#sometimes you just have to push yourself in the pool#heh#naur but seriously...anita so muse coded....so inspiring... i owe you my life angel......ouh...#any way still nervous but you know what never back down never give up#passes out#brizie draws#anita lotta love#peter parker#spiderman#Spider-Man#fan art#ig?#deadpool#kinda??#hough#be nice to me gang im trying...
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part 1/2(?)
oughhughgghgjghghghhg this has just been . Sitting around ….. no guarantee it’ll be finished but i figured i might as well post what i have since the rest of this might be a couple more pages
#so sorry if the handwriting is unreadable#a bit nervous about posting this#(a bit) (very)#(extremely even)#fnaf dca#y/n tag#daycare attendant#fnaf sun#sundrop#my art
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Defying God - a parallel between Fyolai and Stavrovensky
The Demons brainrot is taking over, and you know what happens when I acquire a new interest: my brain WILL find a way to connect it to my other interests, whether I like it or not!! And this is essentially what it's about xD I've come here to present a parallel I found between Fyolai (Fyodor & Nikolai from BSD) and Stavrovensky (Verkhovensky & Stavrogin from "Demons" by Dostoevsky). Before I start I want to clarify a few things:
• I don't think these two pairings are similar, I just love picking up any crumbs of connections I can find between my interests, even if it'd count as reaching.
• This interpretation (in either character's case) is in no way "the only true way of looking at it". It's merely one interpretation out of many and I chose to focus on just a few aspects out of the many others there are to explore in these complex characters.
• Feel free to add onto or disagree with anything I say! I'm interested in your thoughts :D
WARNING: There will be spoilers for Bungou Stray Dogs and Demons.
The reason Nikolai wants to kill Fyodor is because he feels affection for him. Emotions are a prison to him, and he basically seeks the opposite of what his emotions make him want to do. Thus, in the face of affection, which makes you want to be closer and wish the best for your friend, he does the opposite and decides to kill said friend, going directly against his feelings in an attempt to prove free will. But here I want to focus more on the "You want to defy God in order to lose sight of yourself" part, specifically the bit about God.
One part of my interpretation is that Nikolai associates God with control. If there is a God who controls all, how can there be a free will? He wants to go against Him and His creations (the human mind, morality, etc.) to prove that it's possible. But God is very abstract - the idea of God is influential but varies depending on cultures, etc. For this point, I'll use the example of the biblical God, or, more specifically, some attributes commonly assigned to the idea of God:
• omnipotence (all-powerful)
• omnipresence (all-present)
• omniscience (all-knowing)
What I am leading up to is the fact that these traits can, in one way or another, be applied to Fyodor. Fyodor's character represents everything Nikolai wants to defy. Nikolai hates control; he wants to fight the idea of God and prove the possibility of complete independence. Fyodor (though not in a "direct" way) could be seen as a symbol for God. He knows everything, he is always present (metaphorically and sometimes literally, the way he spawns sometimes I swear-), and he seems to control everything. Only few people actually see him, but he pulls the strings behind the scenes, and his power is felt everywhere. For Nikolai, to kill Fyodor is not just a protest against his feelings of affection, but can also be a symbolic act of defying "God", of killing "God", by killing Fyodor.
This is supposed to be very symbolic and not taken literally. I feel the need to repeat this because I personally dislike the notion of Fyodor as a literal God (and disagree with the idea of him having a God-complex), so this is merely about the God-like traits he possesses, like a "substitute" for the idea of God, and how it interacts with Nikolai's philosophy. (I've also exaggerated some points for the sake of simplification - for example, I don't actually believe Fyodor is in control of absolutely everything, etc.)
Moving onto Demons:
Pyotr Verkhovensky grew up religious and (assuming based on Stepan's description) with a fear of God.
Now he's an atheist and very anti-religious. He plans to overthrow society, and destroying religion + everything it preaches is part of that plan. But interestingly enough, he picks not himself as the official future "ruler", but someone else: Nikolai Stavrogin. He chooses Stavrogin to be the role of the leader in Verkhovensky's ideal society. But not exactly the "leader" in the traditional sense, because he wouldn't necessarily give Stavrogin all the power. He would simply use him as a "pawn" (for lack of a better word) while himself pulling the strings behind said society. With that, Verkhovensky puts someone else above himself, in a God-like position, but he wants to do it while still keeping full control over Stavrogin. By doing so, he would overcome his childhood fear of God because instead of being controlled by God, *he* will control God.
(Same case here, not the literal God, but the character who he assigns God-like traits to.)
I am undecided (with both Nikolai's and Verkhovensky's character) whether this could be read as a solely subconscious intention or if it would make sense as a conscious one as well. Given that both have a different "main" goal (Nikolai focuses on emotions and Verkhovensky on the revolution) I lean more towards thinking it's subconscious (if present at all - like I said, just interpretations!)
It doesn't help that Verkhovensky describes his vision of Stavrogin's leadership as "hidden": Everyone believes in him and his power, but only very few people are said to actually have laid their eyes upon him. When I first read this part, I was honestly reminded of Big Brother from Orwell's 1984, but eventually realised that similar things can be said about God as well.
While these are parallels, they don't come without differences. Nikolai needs Fyodor dead, Verkhovensky needs Stavrogin alive. Nikolai wants to kill Fyodor for a sense of freedom, Verkhovensky wants to keep Stavrogin for a sense of control. Yet both symbolic goals are bound to fail:
Fyodor turns out to be unkillable, and Stavrogin ends up dead.
At the end, "God" stays untouchable.
#they make me so ill#I stay up nights thinking about them#fyolai#fyodor dostoevsky#nikolai gogol#bungou stray dogs#dostogol#fyogol#bungo stray dogs#bsd#demons#demons dostoevsky#verkhovensky#pyotr verkhovensky#nikolai stavrogin#Бесы#Достоевский#Верхов��нский#Пётр Верховенский#Николай ��таврогин#Not a ship post but this sure is fueling my enjoyment of their relationship#I need to dissect and study their dynamic under a microscope#Thank you Dostoevsky#Btw This is my first analysis post here if I'm not mistaken#I'm nervous please be nice#I will draw them now
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More on the Varric deaths stuff, two, as well as on DAII Exalted March and DA:I -
"This expansion was going to be called Exalted March, and here, Varric was going to finally step out from the interrogation room so we could play in the present day, so to speak. It was also here that Varric - in a climactic confrontation new villain Corypheus, introduced in Legacy - was going to die. "So what I wanted to do with the expansion was: there's a lot of stuff we cut and I really wanted to put a bowtie on the Dragon Age 2 story," former lead writer David Gaider told me earlier this year while chatting about the creation of the Dragon Age world for a piece about maps. "It had the confrontation with Corypheus and the whole thing. We'd introduced him in a DLC, which I didn't want to do, but we did it, so I wanted to sort of tie that off. And I wanted to kill Varric because he was the viewpoint character and I'm like, 'This is his story, it needs to end with his death.' "He was the unreliable narrator, right?" he added. "I felt like it had to end with him. So we had this great moment where Corypheus is using the Red Lyrium and it's growing out of control, but [Varric is] a dwarf so he's a little bit immune, so he's able to do the Wrath of Khan Spock thing and get in close and destroy it. And he gets Corypheus enough so the party can take him out, but then he's dying from Red Lyrium poisoning so there's this nice moment with him and Hawke as Hawke says goodbye. And with his death, the story ends. And I felt that's appropriate for Dragon Age 2's arc." Exalted March, however, was never released. BioWare cancelled Exalted March to refocus the studio on new game Dragon Age: Inquisition and the move to new engine Frostbite. The expansion was "cannibalised", as Gaider put it, talking to me, and expanded to become Inquisition. Which is how Corypheus suddenly became the main villain in Inquisition, and how Varric managed to stay alive. It didn't stop Gaider trying to kill him again, though. "I tried to kill him in Inquisition," he told me. "I think mainly because I didn't get to do it in [DA2]. And everyone was like, 'But the Inquisitor isn't Hawke! It lacks the same meaning.' And I was like, 'Yeah, I guess you're right.'" Still, it was a difficult thing to let go of. "I was a little bit upset," he said, "and I remember I went and said - because they wanted to start work on Dragon Age 3 immediately - 'Well, you can make me do that, yes, and I will just be the guy in the meetings doing this [he makes a standoffish posture]. Or you can let me go home for a month or so, get this out of my system and grieve, and I will come back. And I swear, when I come back, I will be ready to go.'" He was true to his word, but he still wasn't entirely done trying to kill Varric. In March last year, Gaider revealed there were once plans for Corypheus to attack the Inquisition's mountain castle base, Skyhold. "The threat of Corypheus after Haven was never truly realised," Gaider tweeted. "An attack on Skyhold would have upped the ante. Maybe I could have killed someone finally... but instead, Corypheus remained a remote villain you chased but were rarely chased by. "By the way," he then added, "if you're wondering who I would have killed in Skyhold, given the chance, the answer is obviously Varric. That dwarf was meant to die in the (cancelled) DA2 expansion and escaped his fate despite having been in my crosshairs ever since." Varric survived again. "After Dragon Age Inquisition came out I'd already left the Dragon Age team," he told me."
[source]
what I'm reading, if I understood it right, is that Varric has survived death at least 3 times thus far.. (;・∀・)
#dragon age#bioware#character death cw#video games#feels#long post#longpost#there's sth so funny about the sentences#'It didn't stop Gaider trying to kill him again though'#and#'he STILL wasn't entirely done trying to kill Varric'#lmaoo#varric has more lives than a cat#[nervous sweating]
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I like the idea that Cross realised Killer was touchstarved (he didn't have the words for it but he noticed how much Killer would settle down from it) and started giving him very small basic affection. Pat on the back, hand on the shoulder, maybe a quick friendly hug, all things he probably learned through royal guard training and thinks of as normal friend/coworker stuff.
But as they both got more comfortable in the routine of it, Killer started instigating touches and he was not shy about it (like not just leaning into Cross's side during movie night, he looks like he's trying to get into Cross's jacket with him)
And that this more intense affection made Cross realise he might also be just a little bit touchstarved
Bonus:
#UTDR#UTMV#Cross Sans#Killer Sans#The cuddles are mutually beneficial#Both of these boys desperately need a little love and affection#Really I just imagined Killer hugging up on Cross so close it looks like he's a living blanket and I wanted to draw it#And then y'know what? Throw in HorrorDust cuddles too while we're here#Cross is nervous they'll find out he desperately wants touch and think less of him#As if he didn't just have the exact same revelation with Killer and nobody said a word#As if he isn't sitting across from people literally in each other's laps#It's okay he won't get rid of Killer any time soon and he's about to be like a barnacle on this man#So he'll get all the hugs he could need#I'm in a very sappy cuddly mood today it seems#Also I forgot the username but the person who made the ''we need more kross'' post this one is partially for you!!
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