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adorerdraco · 4 years ago

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Healing Heart ✧ Draco x Reader Mini-Series PART 1

Summary: Draco meets and accidentally falls in love with reader during his sixth year (HBP). Part 1 of a upcoming series.

Warnings: angst, some fluff, mentions of blood, crying, panic attacks

Words: 6.4K words (I made this so longgg)

A/N: my first Draco writing !!! i am sorry ahead of time if there are any misspellings, typing with long acrylics is hard omg. ALSO PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND ME REQUESTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also i do not own this gif.

It was almost satirical how Draco managed to fall in love with someone at what might be, is, the lowest point in his life. It was his sixth year at Hogwarts, the dark mark burned into his left forearm, the restless mending of the vanishing cabinet, the impossible task of killing his Headmaster, the Dark Lord looming over him and his family with promises of torture and death if he didn’t follow through with the orders he was given.

Draco was an empty shell of what he used to be. The playful and mean remarks that would leave his mouth to anyone that stood in his path were gone. The devious twinkle in his eye and the smug smirk that used to grace his face almost 24/7 was reduced to a permanent scowl and red-rimmed eyes. He looked as if he had aged a rough 10 years since the last year he was at school. Everyone noticed it.

Everyone noticed the skipped meals, the lack of sleep, the empty look in his eyes, the falling behind in class. But no one dared say a thing to him. It almost seems as though people were afraid of him now more than ever. The sneer on his face and the reckless and impulsive attitude he held now was like a repellent for anyone that tried to come near. He was completely alone, whether he liked it or not and he decided to keep it that way.

That all changed a few months into the year, however, when you were rushing to DADA, your long house colored scarf getting tangled underneath your feet causing you to trip and lurch forward, dropping all your books, your wand, and crashing into, you guessed it, Draco Malfoy himself. There was a loud cracking sound as you both tumbled onto the ground, a yelp slipping past Draco’s lips as he held his hand in pain.

"Oh, Merlin,” you gasped, Draco shooting you the dirtiest glare. “Draco, I’m so sorry.”

Before he could open his mouth to tell you off and incessantly insult you into oblivion, you reached forward and took his wounded hand in yours, the softness of your hands and tender touch throwing him off guard. He watched you as you examined the damage on one of his fingers.

“It’s just a sprain,” you finalized after inspecting it for a couple seconds. Draco recoiled his hand from yours as if he had touched a hot surface. He moved to get up and you huffed out a “wait, hold on,” as you scrambled around the ground for your wand. When you felt the wood underneath your fingertips, you clutched it and jumped to your feet, gently grabbing onto the sleeve of Draco’s robe who was already trying to retreat.

“Get away,” he snarled, snatching his arm out of your grasp.

“Let me help,” you pleaded softly, “it’ll be quick, I promise.”

Draco looked down at you with annoyance. He was about to leave again until he felt that same tender touch from just a few moments ago. The feeling stunning him again as he looked down at his hand that was now lying palm up in yours.

“Episkey,” you drawled the wand over his injured finger, the both of you watching the swollen and purple bruise beginning to form suddenly fade away.

Draco gave you one last scowl before he snatched his hand out of yours and turned around to leave the corridor, leaving you standing there dumbfounded as he quickly walked away, his cloak floating behind him like the professor, who’s class you now realized you were very late for.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

That night, Draco lied awake staring at his ceiling he had charmed to resemble a starry night sky. His mind wandered off to think about spells he could try to help fix the vanishing cabinet and different ways he could kill Dumbledore without actually having to face him. He thought of his parents, mostly his mom, and how much he wishes he could save her and himself from this life. He thought of this school and how much he missed being an unknowing child who just did his schoolwork, played quidditch and bully the Golden Trio. He missed the two-dimensional life he used to live. Even if he used to be a complete ignorant and snobby arse, he was a happy one at that. Only now he knows that life isn’t what mummy or daddy say it is, in fact, it is so much worse.

He found his mind wandering to his uneventful day of dragging himself through his classes and failed attempts on the cabinet in the room of requirement. He then all of a sudden remembered the klutzy y/h/c girl that tripped into him and sprained his finger. He remembered how soft her touch was and how gentle she was in fixing said finger. That feeling was hard to forget. He hasn’t felt such tenderness since he doesn’t know how long. He recalled his mother’s hug before he boarded the train to Hogwarts, but that was ages ago.

In his ever growing turmoil, there wasn’t an ounce of warmth in Draco’s life since he’s returned to school. The coldness he was feeling on the inside was just as apparent as it was in his surroundings. He catches himself wishing he could feel that touch again, something about you radiated warmth, and just as quick as that thought appeared, he pushed it away.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The next day, as Draco was leaving the room of requirement and into the empty corridor, he felt the familiar ache in his chest that began to flow through his body. He had made little to no progress today on the cabinet. He felt a panic attack on the horizon, his breathing becoming staggered and tears pricking his eyes. He hated it. He hated feeling so weak.

He began rushing towards Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, his tears blurring his vision and just like the day before, he crashed right into someone. Instinctively, he held the other person in place by their biceps so neither of them would fall. But that still didn’t stop how upon impact, the other person’s head had collided with his bottom lip. He squeezed his eyes in pain as he felt the skin break and blood quickly escaping it. When he pulled back, he focused on the figure in front of him and realized it was you. The same klutzy girl he bumped into yesterday.

“Oh no, not again,” you frown, placing your hand on the part of your head that met Draco’s lip.

“You ought to watch where you’re going, you twit,” he snarls, stepping away from you in anger.

“It was an accident,” you responded just as harshly. You take a deep breath and throw the attitude aside. He was bleeding for Merlin’s sake and you felt bad that it was because of you. “I’m sorry, please let me heal you again,” you offer, taking a step towards him, closing up the space he had made.

“I think you’ve done enough,” he backs up, eyeing you down.

“Draco, please, just let me heal your lip and i’ll be out of your way,” you ask again, your soft and guilt ridden e/c eyes peering up at him through your lashes. Draco’s heart flutters, his anger subsiding for a second and he nods.

You step towards him once more and unexpectedly place a warm hand on his face while the other brings your wand up to his lip where it hovers. It was a non-verbal spell you used this time and he felt the pulsating pain in his lip subside to nothing.

Even though he was healed, you both stayed in that position, your hand still on his cheek and his eyes gazing into yours. He didn’t realize it at that moment, but the pain in chest had also subsided, just a little. The tears had gone. His breathing was drastically slower.

“What’s your name?” the question tumbled from his lips before he could stop it. You gave him a small smile, your hand falling from his face and he frowns when he feels the cold on his skin from the loss of contact.

“It’s Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N” you answer. “We have potions together this year, actually.”

Draco thought back to that class, now that Slughorn was teaching it he hardly paid attention, especially since he felt he was skilled in it anyways so he would let himself slip into his thoughts and let the whole period pass by in a haze. He feels as though he might have heard your name here and there, but he wasn’t so sure.

“Hm, funny, I’ve never noticed you,” he says, not intending it to sound rude but it did. He watches your face fall and he feels a slight guilt poke at him.

“Well, like I said, I’ll be out of your way now,” you mumble to him, brushing past him softly as you continued your path out of the corridor and out of his sight.

He didn’t know why, but he felt a little sad to see you go. He shook his head, shaking the thought from his mind and instead of the bathroom, he decided to go to his room, no longer feeling like he did before your little encounter.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

As days went on, Draco ended up paying more attention in Slughorn’s class. Not to the chubby old professor, but to you, who he shared subtle glances with throughout classes and half-hearted smiles.

You wanted nothing more than to continue talking to him. To be in his presence. He was like a magnet to you, while everyone else thought the opposite of him. Even Pansy, who usually was up his ass, distanced herself from the ghost of the boy she once obsessed over. You couldn’t lie, the small crush you harbored on Draco had only grown more and more each day. It started about three years ago, during your third year when you had seen him in the hospital wing after his run-in with Buckbeak.

You remember the sheer shock you felt when you had seen him for the first time that year. The slicked back hair was gone, he had grown several inches taller, maybe even a foot taller now that you thought about it. His voice had deepened into that haughty tone you somehow couldn’t get enough of. But just like you, many other girls noticed these changes too and began pursuing him. Something you’d never had the guts to do.

Until now.

The feelings you had been suppressing for the past 3 years had come back in overflow the second you bumped into him the other day. Even worse this time since you’ve actually had a conversation with him now and the fact that he won’t stop looking at you.

Slughorn pulled you out of your thoughts when he announced to everyone to partner up to brew the potion he had been lecturing us on all week. Draught of Peace.

“This is your chance,” your friend besides you sings to you as you looked longingly in Draco’s direction who hasn’t moved from his spot.

“No, he usually works by himself, I don’t want to bother him anymore than I have,” you sigh, slumping down in your seat.

“Y/N, you’ve been in love with him since third year,” she huffs, “besides, maybe he only works alone because no one can stand being near him.”

“Shhh, someone might hear you,” you hiss, slumping even lower into your seat. “I am not in love with him, it’s just a stupid crush,” you whisper angrily to her while she only rolls her eyes.

“Okay, well, have fun working alone,” she smirks, getting up from her seat and scurrying across the room to join another classmate. You gape at her in distress, she returns the same gesture, mocking you. She then points over to Draco and smiles, giving you an encouraging thumbs up.

You rest your head in your hand for a second, feeling the hot blush that had made its way onto your face and focused your gaze onto the table in front of you. You mentally hexed your friend, who thought it’d be a good idea if she were ditch you so you would be forced to look for another partner. Jokes on her, you’re not getting up from this seat.

‘I can’t go up to him,” you thought, ‘he probably thinks I’m some annoying creep who won’t leave him alone. I’ll just work by myself.”

Draco looks over at you, noticing the empty space beside you and the frown on your face as you pushed your Potions book to the side and sat up to get your cauldron ready. You were alone, and so was he. He fought himself on whether or not he should join you. It was a bold move, especially for him. He was used to working alone, but the longer he looked at you, the more he found himself missing the sound of your honey sweet voice and soft eyes. Before he had any more time to argue with himself about it, he gathered up all his things and walked over to the empty spot next to you.

“Do you want help?” Draco asked awkwardly, immediately regretting his decision to move. Your eyes shot up from the potion book, not expecting to see the blond next to you with a faint blush on his cheeks.

“Um, yes, actually, that’d be nice,” you mutter out to him, moving some stuff around on the table so that he would have space for his. You could hardly contain the deep red blush that was already on your face from intensifying at his presence. You swallowed thickly as the realization set in that your longtime crush was right beside you and even offering a helping hand. Which in Draco’s case was extremely rare, almost unheard of. Matter of fact, this is something the Slytherin Prince has never done.

He sets his bag down and his supplies and takes a seat, rolling up his sleeves so that he could get started on crushing the porcupine quills into the moonstone powder. The amount of times he has made this potion by now for himself was sad, but good in this case since he would be able to impress you with his skill.

He worked diligently and quietly and you watched as his long slender fingers worked everything with attention and precision. You were looking up at him every now and then which you now realized was a terrible idea considering you were in the middle of cutting ginger root and you weren’t exactly coordinated to begin with. You felt the sharp blade slide across your finger and a small gasp left your mouth when the pain instantly began once the first drop of blood fell.

Draco looked at you in confusion, his eyes widening slightly when he saw the blood dripping from your hand and your face contorted in pain. You ignored the looks Draco was giving you, afraid that he might be looking at you with contempt for being sloppy.

“Y/L/N, perhaps you should go to Madam Pomfrey,” Draco suggests, now seeing that the cut was very deep as you inspected it. In fact, it was so deep he swore he could’ve seen bone.

“No, it’s fine, I can heal it,” you ignored the sharp pain and placed your hand on the table and pointed your wand at the cut with your uninjured hand. You focused on the cut and closed your eyes, letting your wand do its magic with your unspoken spell. When you opened your eyes, the cut was gone, just a small scar in its place and drying blood around it. “You see,” you smile, turning towards Draco and waving your finger, “brand new.”

“You don’t want dittany for the scarring?” Draco asked with an eyebrow raised.

“No, I don’t mind them and this one is small anyways. They’re like memories to me. Some come from good experiences, some bad. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m a little clumsy,” you explain, a small smile on your lips.

“Trust me, I’ve noticed,” he sighs, “so you’ve managed to become your own healer because of that?”

“Exactly that,” you hummed. “That’s actually what I’m studying to be. I plan on being at St. Mungo’s once we graduate. I’ve been studying for it my whole life.”

Draco was silent for a moment. He watched as you carefully threw ingredients into the cauldron and stirred them with caution. He noticed that despite your clumsiness, you handled everything you touched with a care and gentleness. It was a calming sight to him for some reason and he faintly smiled.

“I think you’d be a great healer,” he complimented quietly. You looked at him with one of the brightest smiles he’s ever seen and his heart swells at the thought of it being because of him. He feels a smile mirroring yours that tries to break through, but he fights it.

“You know, you’re a lot nicer than you let on,” you say quietly, waiting for his reaction from the corner of his eye. Draco wants to give you a snarky remark, just to uphold his cold reputation he’s given himself since his first day back at Hogwarts, but he doesn’t.

Instead of saying anything, he just shrugged and gave you a small smile, turning his attention back to the task at hand. You do the same, choosing to enjoy the comfortable silence that had settled.

When Slughorn came by to check when you finished, he eyed you and Draco and smiled.

"Ahh, Mr. Malfoy, I’m glad you’ve finally decided to partner up with someone,” he gleamed. “Miss Y/L/N here is an excellent potions student such as yourself.”

“Yes, she is,” Draco responded, keeping his eyes trained on the professor. He didn’t want to look at you, feeling embarrassed that he has now complimented you twice in the last 20 minutes. You smiled to yourself, something you’ve been doing a lot of since the slytherin boy sat next to you.

“Well, I suppose you’ll be pleased to know the two of you have brewed an outstanding potion,” Slughorn grins, “both of you will receive perfect marks on this. You can be excused from today’s class now.”

“Thank you, Professor,” you begin gathering your things and turn towards Draco. “I’ll see you next class? Or maybe somewhere around the castle when I accidentally bump into you.”

Draco chuckles and shakes his head, “perhaps. I’ll see you soon, Y/L/N.”

With that, he strides out of the class, you staring at the back of his platinum blond head with a stupid smile on your face.

“You’re welcome,” your friend suddenly appeared next to you, playfully slapping your arm. “I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen Draco look so... calm.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Weeks had gone by, and several Potions classes. The seat beside you now belonged to Draco and the two of you had in a sense, become friends. Or acquaintances. You couldn’t quite say.

He was still brooding and mostly kept to himself, but he would converse with you here and there about things, almost always school. The two of you continuously getting outstanding marks on everything you produced much to Slughorn’s delight.

Sometimes he would come to class looking disheveled or angry and those were the days where no matter how much you tried to talk to him to at least maybe get his mind off things, he would ignore you. Wouldn’t even look at you. You couldn’t deny how it had hurt your feelings, but you would brush off the hurt and remind yourself that it wasn’t personal. He was obviously going through something, you didn’t know what, but you had to respect that sometimes he just didn’t want to talk. That was hard. Especially because you just wanted to hear his voice or see him give you that rare smile when you would say something he found amusing or you would accidentally drop something off the table with your elbows or knocked over with your hands.

You were rounding a corridor when you saw the flash of blond zoom past you. He didn’t see you, but you saw the pointed look in his eyes and the tears that were pooling in the stormy gray eyes that you adored. You mentally fought yourself on whether or not you should follow him, he looked so upset and all you wanted to do was give him a peace of mind. So you followed him, all through two corridors until he disappeared into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom.

Your heart broke at the sobs that filled the bathroom. They were full of pain and despair. The sound of his rapid breathing mixed in with his cries was more than enough to let you know that he was having a panic attack. You pushed open the door slightly to see him hunched over a sink, his robe discarded on the ground along with his vest and tie leaving him in only a white long sleeved dress shirt.

You wanted to run in and help, but stayed back, realizing that this was something that was extremely personal. You knew he would be livid if you or anyone saw him like this, so broken and emotional. You were about to leave, all of a sudden feeling very ashamed for even following him in here. You watched as he looked up into the mirror, an anger flashing in his eyes as he stared at the reflection looking back at him. Not yours, but his. All he could see was a monster staring back at him. A failure. A weak man. He was disgusted and angry with what he saw and before he knew what he was doing, he had pulled his fist back and you watched it collide with the middle of the mirror where he had been. The glass shattered upon impact, the shards now flying in all different directions and embedding into his knuckles. He fell to the ground on his knees, in pain and clutching his fist as his cries only got louder.

That was when you threw open the door, rushing in to help him, not caring that you were going to have to put up a fight in order to even get near him. Draco’s eyes shot up to meet yours, and just like you thought, he was beyond pissed to see you.

Draco has never felt such humiliation in his life. The beautiful and kind y/h girl he had acquainted himself with, was now looking at him with pity. He grabbed his wand from his pocket, pointing it at you with such quickness that you faltered in your steps.

“Get. Out!” He yelled, his wand shaking violently in his uninjured hand. He would never hex you, but he figured you would fall for his bluff and leave. But you didn’t. You only sat yourself down a few feet away from him and felt your own tears begin to fall. “Y/L/N, I swear to Merlin, if you don’t leave, I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” you challenged. “I just want to help.”

“I don’t need your help,” he sneered, his wand still pointed at you.

“You’re bleeding, a lot, Draco,” you point to his bloodied hand that curled to his chest. “You know I can save you a trip to the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey’s interrogation.”

After a few moments of silence and a wand still pointed at you, you slowly scoot towards him. Your hand encloses around the one holding his wand and you lower it for him while he watches you. He was still crying and breathing heavily. His panic attack somehow getting worse now and no longer having the energy to fight you. You finally reach him, now knee to knee with him and you place a hand on his shoulder.

“Draco, just breath with me,” you say calmly. “In,” you took a long exaggerated inhale, and after a few seconds, “out,” and let out an equally exaggerated exhale. You did that with him for a while, his pained gray eyes focused on yours the whole time, never breaking eye contact. Once he was calmed down enough and was just left with the post crying hiccoughs, you took his injured hand in yours. There was shards and particles of glass stuck in his reddened and bloody skin.

You reached into your robe pocket and pulled out a set of tweezers you kept with you. You often found yourself getting splinters or tiny rocks stuck in your skin when your hands hit the pavement when you’d fall you try and catch yourself.

“This might hurt,” you warn, starting to remove one of the biggest pieces. He sharply inhales as you try your best to do take it out carefully.

It was quiet the rest of the process, just sniffles and gasps from Draco when you had removed a piece that especially hurt. When you were done, you waved your wand over the gashes and watched as they faded into faint pink scars. You got up, pulling him with you and took him to the sink where you rinsed off the blood from both your hands and his.

He couldn’t say anything. He didn’t know what. He just stared at you, dumbfounded and confused. You turned your body to face his and he did the same, eyeing you carefully and still very cautious to any move you made.

“I can leave now, if you’d like me to,” you offer quietly. He stayed silent, wondering if he should just send you off. But he didn’t want to. You had already seen him at his worst, and he was terribly alone, so he just shook his head ‘no.’ You looked up at him and decided to risk it all. “Can I give you a hug?”

Draco was stunned at the question, his heart pounding against his chest. “I suppose,” he managed to let out in a strained voice.

You slowly stepped closer to him and slid your arms up his biceps until your hands met behind his neck. You stood on your tippy toes and pulled him into you, his chin now resting on your shoulder as your hand smoothed the back of his head. You felt him stiff under your touch and as he got comfortable in your embrace, his arms raised from his sides and snaked around your waist, pushing you flush against him. You stayed like that for what felt like forever, and he held you tightly, not wanting to let go.

This was the first time in a long time that he had felt any type of relief. It had been such a constant uphill battle for him, day after day. He took a deep inhale accidentally, but the smell of your perfume and shampoo filling his nose and his mind made him feel at ease. The warmth of your body from underneath his fingertips brought him peace and succor.

“Thank you,” he whispered into your hair so quietly that if you weren’t so focused on him, you would’ve missed it.

“Anytime.”

That was the day Draco Malfoy became your friend.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Potions class was no longer the only place you would see Draco. Now that the two of you were comfortable with one another and he trusted you more than anyone else, he found himself hanging out with you every day during his free time when he would be done messing with the cabinet.

It would be taking walks around the castle. Sneaking out at night and meeting behind statues to talk. Sitting together at a bench in the courtyard. Skipping stones along the Black Lake. It’s been months of this. Months of friendship he so desperately needed. You had helped him through several more panic attacks and meltdowns, each time coming closer together. He never told you about what caused them. The worst ones were when he found he had almost killed Katie Bell and Ron Weasley, and as much as you begged him to tell you, he kept his mouth shut.

He had spent so much time with you that it was affecting him. But for the better. He found himself eating again at the Slytherin table and his friends were more than excited to have him back. He still wasn’t too buddy-buddy with everyone as he once was, but he joined conversations and shared a couple jokes. He was even sleeping a little more. He was still beyond stressed, but it wasn’t as gut-wrenching. He enjoyed Potions again and even started paying a little more attention in his other classes. His new found energy even helped him greatly progress in mending the vanishing cabinet, finally making a breakthrough in fixing it.

He would lie awake at night sometimes and thank Merlin you crashed into his life, literally. You were like an angel to him, healing his heart with every word and smile and touch you sent his way. It was easy with you. He tried his best to keep his emotions at bay, reminding himself that when he would have to follow through with his task, he would lose you and that thought pained him to no end. But he was selfish, and he adored you with every fiber of his being so he couldn’t leave you alone. And especially not when he needed you most.

Today, you lied in the grass, shoulder to shoulder and staring up at the sky and watching the clouds. You were a little ways from the castle, away from all your other classmates and teachers and it was nice. Finally being able to enjoy time with the Slytherin Prince without people gawking at the two of you.

“My mother used to do this with me when I was a small,” Draco trailed off, his eyes following a particular funny shaped cloud. “She would take me out to the garden behind the Manor, usually when father was doing some work at the ministry. But we would sit against this tall oak tree and I’d be on her lap and she’d have her arms wrapped around me and she would point out the funniest shaped clouds and try to pinpoint what they resemble. Sometimes she’d even joke around and say the weirdest shaped cloud looked like father.”

You giggled at that last part, your heart swelling at the story. He rarely talked about his family, but when he did, it would always be of his mother and a happy memory he had with her, never his father.

“Draco, can I ask you something?” you turn onto your side, your elbow holding you up as you gazed down at him.

“What do you wanna know, darling?” you blushed at the nickname but brushed it aside, knowing he only meant it in a friendly way.

“Forgive me if it’s rude, you don’t have to answer,” you begin, “but do you miss your father? I know it’s none of my business and I’m so sorry the Daily Prophet put your family business on blast like that. I can’t imagine how that must have felt.”

Draco frowned and followed you in turning onto his side and propping himself up with his elbow to face you. You remembered the image of Draco and his mother on the newspaper, bright lights flashing across their faces as all the press tried to get picture of them after the sentencing of Lucius Malfoy to Azkaban. You remembered seeing Draco look so sad, yet strong beside his mother as he looked from her and then into the camera with disdain.

“Sometimes, I do,” he answers, eyebrows furrowed as he thought of his father. “My whole life, he’s expected nothing short of perfection from me. There were no room for mistakes, and if I made any, I would be punished for them. I remember coming to Hogwarts was like an escape, a place where I could finally sort of relax and be a child. I don’t miss his scolding or his coldness. But I miss having a father, I miss going home on that first day of summer and seeing both my parents even if he was going to reprimand me for something later on in the day. He’s been with me my whole life, and now he’s gone, stuck in a cell in Azkaban. He’s never going to be the same. Home is never going to be the same.”

You felt tears prick your eyes as you listened to the boy beside you, a distant look in his eyes as he turned back over on his back to look at the sky in the middle of his explanation. You sat up and he did the same, looking at you with a frown when he noticed you were about to cry. You took your hand in his and held it tightly.

“I’m sorry, Draco,” you mumble. “You don’t deserve any of the bad things you’ve been through.”

“I do,” he shrugs. “I’ve been a real git since I’ve been at Hogwarts, you know.”

“You’re different now,” you say. “Sure, you still haven’t lost a little bit of the Malfoy snobbishness and you’re still a bit of a git, but you’re kinder and more gentle. You’re a lot more empathetic and perceptive. I mean, I’ve never spoken to you prior to this year, but your reputation follows and the Draco in front of me doesn’t seem anything like the Draco you were.”

“How you’ve managed to insult me while complimenting me is something I’ve never seen anyone be able to do successfully is astonishing,” he laughs, a smile growing on his face as you laughed with him.

“I’m serious, Dray,” you giggle, “I think you’re a good person.”

“I’m not good,” he thinks to himself. The compliment leaving your lips made him feel foul. He didn’t deserve to have such a kind soul complimenting him to be something he’d never amount to. He frowned and harshly stood up, and you quickly followed. Suddenly afraid that you might have overstepped your boundaries.

“Where are you going?” You ask, fear trembling in your voice. He begins to hurriedly walk off and you chase after him, stopping in front of him so you could place your hands on his chest to stop him.

“Y/N, let me go,” he pleads. “I’m not who you think I am.”

“I think I’ve been around you long enough to know who you are.”

“Not long enough.”

You stare up at him, but he refuses to look at you. His body feels rigid under your touch and it pains you to see him beginning to shut down again.

“I know something has been bothering you this year, and I know it’s not just because of what happened with your father,” you start. “I don’t know what is hurting you so deeply enough to make you hate yourself, but I’m here to tell you that whatever that thing is, it doesn’t define you.”

Draco swallows thickly, the tears already falling down his cheeks. “It does, it does.”

“No, it doesn’t,” you cry with him. “Even if you don’t see your goodness, I do.”

Both you and Draco are crying, the tree you were now standing under was swaying violently in the wind, as if it was picking up on your guys’ emotions. You placed a hand on his cheek, and he leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours.

“I’m not good,” he whispers to you, “and once you see that, you’re going to hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Draco Malfoy,” you promise, a complete sincerity in your voice that it makes his heart jump.

Draco lifts his head up and sniffles, he watched you do the same, peering up at him through your wet lashes. He brought his thumb up to smooth the crease in between your eyebrows, letting it fall down to your cheeks where he wiped away the stray tears that had stilled. His hand then landed on your mouth that was pulled down in a grimace that matched his own. His thumb grazed over your lips, the softness of them nearly driving him mad. He wanted nothing more than to feel them against his own, but he couldn’t bring himself to kiss you. He didn’t want to drag you into the darkness of his life more than he already has.

“Kiss me,” you said to him, so softly but it rang loud in his ears. You had seen the way he looked at you and how he seemed so focused on your lips. You knew what he was thinking because it was exactly what you were thinking. You wanted this just as badly as he did. “Kiss me.”

Every argument he had in his head vanished and suddenly he closed the small space between the two of you and gently placed his lips onto yours. It was a fluid movement, like two puzzle pieces fitting together.

Your hands found their way in his hair, holding him closer to you and he did the same by gripping onto your hips. His lips were soft against yours, filled with fervor and desire. He was gentle with you, but you could still feel the deepness of his kiss and how it intensified with each second. He had put all his emotions into it, his care, his appreciation, his want, his sadness, his grief, his love.

When he pulled away and the two of you stood there staring at each other with love stricken eyes, he realized he had made a grave mistake.

He realized he was in love with you. He realized that he would never be able to let you go, and you would never let him go. And he knew that with the direction his life was going in, one way or another, you would get hurt and he would lose you, maybe even to death itself.

So in that moment he knew. As much as he loved you and wanted more than anything to be with you, he couldn’t put you in that position where you would be staring evil and death in the face. He wouldn’t tarnish your beautiful soul like that.

“I have to go,” he breathed out. “Please, leave me alone. For good.”

And with that he turned away, leaving you standing under the tree with tears falling down your face, a sob escaping your throat and the sound of your knees hitting the grass below you. He held back his own cries and walked faster away from you, knowing you had finally done damage to yourself that you couldn’t heal, and it was all his fault.

PART 2

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just-someone-who-likes-to-write · 4 years ago

Note

hello 👋🏻 i was wondering if you could write different kissing/kisses scenarios with Jonathan? just tooth rotting fluff, maybe a desperate kiss where they feel they might lose one another or something yanno? THANK YOU ILYILY

YES!!!

Note I don't have access to my laptop, that's why this time is a bit different, so I'm sorry if this came out weird because I'm typing it from my phone.

Either was I hope you enjoy!

((LOOK AT THOSE LIPS!!.. I'D KISS HIM!!))

• Morning Kiss

Jonathan groaned annoyingly at the one ray of sun light that was able to escape the dark heavy curtains of the equally dark room. His first instinct was to get up from the bed, move to the curtains ,and close them properly. However, that was all forgotten when her realized the small weight that pressed his arm to the bed, he smiled as he looked down at your sleeping face. Carefully, Jonathan layed back down, ignoring the light that woke him up and focused at you. He has said how he loved the look of fear in people's faces, but when he is with you he wants to see nothing but your smiles and the peaceful look you have now as upu slept. Leaning down, he gently pressed his lips to yours and proceeded to shower you with kiss, when he heard your giggles it encouraged him to keep going, until you are fully up, which would take a while. The master of fear had always preferred the night, but since he met you he started to love mornings even more.

•Angry Kiss

"Fuck You!" You yelled before turning away to leave to your room.

"(Y/n), please wait!" Called Jonathan and he walked after you.

"No!" You said mot stopping as you went up the stairs. "You alway do that, you promise you'd make time for me everytime, and lile everytime I belive you, like an Idiot!"

When you were almost about to reach your room jonathan graped your wrist to stop you. It wasn't a strong hold, a gentle one that you could get free if you pulled your hand away hard enough. But you didn't and just stopped in your place but did not face him.

"I know I have been a terrible boyfriend to you, my love." He started. "I am so sorry,but please know that I am truely trying so hard to spend more time with you, but the Legion-"

"The Legion this, the Legion that, with how much you use them as an excuse you sound like a broken record!" You spat before pulling your arm away and faced him. He looked so guilty but you stood your ground. "I know your reputation as a villain is important, and I was ready to be patient through it all, when you have your all nighters, your meetings, and even when you get send to Arkham."

"My love-"

"7 MONTHS!!" He cut him off. "We haven't been able to be alone in the same room let alone set together for 7 months, I don't even remember that I have a boyfriend unless I see the news to see you in it!"

"I promise to be there more!" He said quickly. "I will take a break from the Legion, I will even take us on a vacation to that place you love so much, even if the Legion called me for assistant I will ignore them, I will be here for you for as long as you want me! "

All that didn't effect you because he said it all before, but what calmed your anger is what he said it next.

"Please...don't leave me."

His voice sounded so broken and lost. there was a pause between you two before you let out and angry groan, and get a hold of his shirt collar, which suprised him, and pulled him to you, where your crashed your lips to his. Jonathan was so lost and confused but he didn't pull away and gave in to you. The kiss was so agressive, heated, and before you pulled away you bit his lower lip making him wince in pain. The bute drew a bit of blood.

"You better keep your promise this time." You smirked. "Or I'll have to punish you~"

• Desperate Kiss

Like the joker you were Jonathan's Harley, but unlike the mad clown jonathan never abused you. In fact, he'd always keep you close to him at all times, you were his lab partner, the first head seek their opinion on his next plan, and whenever they'd face the batman, he'd send the henchmen to fight while dragging you with him to escape. There were couple of times where you were caught and sent to jail, and because you are not insane the judge would always send to spend time in regular jail for women which makes jonathan go into a frenzy, needing couple of guards to hold him down as the others took you away. Of course, the moment he escapes arkham he breaks you out the same night.

It wasn't long for a rumor to break loss of the two of you dating. You ignored it, which was hard considering how Harley and Ivy would poke you around to make you "Confess", which was never satisfying since your answer was always "We are not dating". The rumor became a reality, when jonathan confessed his love for you and asking you out for a date. Least to say, you were lovely dovey, even when your relationship lasted years, you still acted as if you were have become lovers recently. Despite the ups and Downs of being beaten by the bat, and seperated in court, you were happy.

Until that Halloween night, where Jonathan had planned something... really... Very ...bad. It was so bad that after you were caught and sentenced to jail for life as usual you found out from TV that Jonathan was sentenced to death. You felt your face grow pale and body grow cold at the news. He was being guarded by batman himself to assure he won't escape, that same night you had sever panic attack that they sent your to the infirmary to calm you down before you hurt yourself or others. You tried to escape by yourself but it always failed and ended up with you being beaten by the gaird and sent to solitary. One night a couple of guards took you away and sneaked you out of jail, you were confused by the lake of show, jonathan would put as he broke you out, but you were still excited, thinking he had escaped and came to get you. But was disappointed when you handed a letter from him telling you leave to the agreed location, and with it was tickets. The same day you escaped prison you left the country with the confident that Jonathan will come after you. Months past and you heard nothing from him or of him. Every day you'd go to the post office and asked if there was any letters by your "Fake Name" but every time nothing, you'd stay up at night thinking he'd be walking through the door every moment now.

After a whole year had and you broke down crying because by now you believed that jonathan had died a long time ago and you were hanging to a hope that wasn't there. You were crying so hard that you didn't notice the warm arms that wrapped around you until you were brought against a hard chest. You gasped and looked uo only to be met with tearful blue eyes of jonathan. You didn't think, you quickly wrapped your arms tightly around his neck and pulled him to a desperate kiss, he kissed you back as his hand went and and down your back to calm you down. When you stopped kissing you didn't pull away and only hugged him tighter and rested your head on his shoulder.

"P..Please ...don't go away.. " You begged between sniffs, thinking this was just a hallucination. "Don't leave me alone again."

Jonathan hugged you tighter, deeply regretting not giving a sign of him being alive, how he broke out, how he needed to do many favors for other villains to help him retire, obtain enough money to last you a life time,and live the peaceful life you both have ever dreamed of.

"I promise, I won't."

• Distracting Kiss

You came home from work excited. They finally gave you the vacation that you have been asking for and you wanted nothing more than to spend it with Jonathan. You were daydreaming about all the things you had planned for the both of you when you almost tripped and fell over something, you looked down and recognized the item as Jonathan's shos.

You let out a sigh. Everytime he leaves his shoes at the door like that, it means that he had hurried to his lab to work again. Normally you'd just shrug it off and just head off and make food for him so he won't starve himself... Again. However, today you will no have that. You put your things aside and went to the basement where he had set a mini lab for him to work in, his original lab was in his secret hideout, but he still set a lab in your home so he won't have to go back and forth over small things. You stopped at the end of the stairs and just stared at a hunched over jonathan who was writing on paper as if it was his last day.

"Jonathan." You called sweetly. He lifted his head to look at you and give you a tired smile before going back to his work. That didn't set well with you. "What are you doing?"

"I am working on a new formula for the fear toxin." He answered not noticing you coming closer. "It came to me on my way back home-"

He stopped talking, writing, and breathing when you wrapped your arms around him, and pressed your front ti his back. But that wasn't what made him stop functioning, it was the kisses you were placing in the back of his neck and with how your hand were moving around his body. He let out a sigh of pleasure that he couldn't hold in.

"(Y/n) dear... Please stop." His voice struggling. "I need to go back to work."

"And I need attention." You pressed your body on him more to be able to whisper in his ear. "A lot of it."

Jonathan tried to resist you could see it. He took his pen again and started to continue writing but this time slower than before. You held back a laugh at his determination, and decided to do your own testing, you started kissing up and down his neck. You knew all his weak spots and so it was only a matter of minutes before Jonathan gave up and turned around to give a direct kiss, which muffled your laughs as he lifted you up to your shared room where he will give you all the attention you want.

•Chaste Kiss

You and jonathan were setting together in the living room, you were watching whatever was on TV on the wide sofa, while he was reading in his seperated chair. Expect, he wasn't reading at all, he was staring at you while resting his head on his hand. You looked so beautiful, that he knew very well when he first saw you, but your beauty became even greater the moment he knew you more. You were so smart, sweet, kind, and most importantly patient. When he would be sent to arkham, when he would come injured from a failed crime attempt, when he made a lab in your basement. The list can go forever, yet she still stayed with him and when he asked her why she just answered with...

"I love you, that's why."

It bewildered him, confused him, he found no sense to give up all that for someone just because they loved them, but the warm feeling he felt by your words silenced everything else. He never told you those words, but that doesn't mean the feeling isn't mutual. His eyes trailed to her lips, which made him realize how in the past he hated any kind of physical touch, that just the mention of kissing made him feel disgust. But now he doesn't seem to have enough from her sweet kisses, even in their intimate moments he would make sure to ravish her lips the most... Aside from other areas.

"Why are you smiling?" You asked pulling him out of his train of thought, you also were smiling but he could also see a bit of blush obviously embarrassed by the realization that he was staring at her while smiling.

Jonathan didn't answer, he careful closed his book and got up and left to the other room, missing the pout you had, but it was quickly replaced with bewilderment as he came back after putting his book away, and instead of setting back in his chair he went to set next to her. (Y/n) still looked confused but pleased, he smiled down at her before placing his hand on her cheek and leaned in to kiss her. He could feel her tense in surprise before quickly relaxing. The kiss wasn't heated or deep, just a simple and gentl kiss.

"Jonathan, what-" you tried to asked after the two of you pulled away but he cut you off with un expected words.

"I love you." He said as he stared into her wide eyes.

He never said those words for he preferred his actions to speak louder, but those simple words seemed to please his lover quite a lot.

•Unexpected Kiss

"Shit!" You exclaimed as you jumped up from your desk and started gathering papers and other items from your desk. Jonathan who once in a while would visit your office for a coffee break looked confused if not surprised by hearing you curse.

"What's the matter?" He asked as he silently watched you go through your drawers searching.

"I forgot my mother is going arrive to Gotham today!" You said as you put stuff in your suit case. "I told her that I'd pick her up after work, but I forgot it was today!"

That's going to be troubling considering the distant between the airport and Arkham." He said casually sipping his coffee.

"I KNOW!" You yelled desperately.

"Want me to drive you?" He asked and you shock your head as you wore your coat.

"Thanks for the kind offer Jonathan, but I'll be able to handle it this time." You said getting ready to leave, you went to your place which was across from him and drank the rest of your coffee.

"Very well, just be careful and good luck." He said getting up to leave.

"Yeah thanks you too!" You said distractedly, but your next action left Jonathan with a look of pure shock, you kissed him on the lips before existing the office. "Lock the doors on your way out, thanks!! "

Jonathan was still staring with wide eyes at the direction you disappeared to. You had just kissed him and hadn't realized it yet, knowing you, you'd probably realize it only late at night when things had calmed down and you were alone with your thoughts. Now, you and him have only been friends in the work place at Arkham, but from your action just now, which happened because of two reasons, you genuinely wasn't aware of it, or deep down you wanted for them to be more than just friends, who drink coffee together, or go out for lunch after work.

He hoped for the later, but to finally find out he'd have to wait untill tomorrow morning, or later that night when she'd probably call him apologizing while being embarassed.

---

I hope you guys liked this one and sorry for any error, again I wrote this on my phone.

#jonathan crane x reader #scarecrow x reader #jonathan crane imagine #Jonathan crane prompt

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the-last-kenobi · 3 years ago

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Hi, how are you? Hope all is well) Can you please write "Where have you been" with Anakin and a very very depressed and sad Obi?

Of course!

From this various prompts list.

I admit I wasn’t sure exactly which angle you were hoping for, but this is the one my brain liked, so here we are.

Anakin’s hand shook slightly as he ran the cloth over the glass mug, turning it in his hands. Water beaded up in the wake of his first attempt, so he went back again a little slower, making sure he left no smudges behind. Then he carefully placed it in the cabinet where it belonged, each shelf lined with different mugs, most of them glass, a few of them seemingly random — porcelain, wood, something that looked like clay, a deep red crystalline substance.

Anakin knew that the ones that weren’t glass had all, once, belonged to Qui-Gon.

They were used rarely. Carefully. Cherished like treasures.

The rest, the glass, those were Obi-Wan’s.

He liked the perfection of glass, its transparency, the way he could watch the teas he brewed and steeped changing, colors swirling and fading beneath his fingers.

Anakin found them difficult to maintain and hard to clean.

His hand shook again, and he quickly put down the towel and set aside the next mug, turning away from the still untidy kitchen.

His gloved metal hand raked through his hair.

It was late.

It was very late.

He walked to the window and brushed aside the curtain with one hand, confronted first with his own ghostly reflection, and then focusing on the view outside. It was pouring down rain. A rare enough occurrence here on Coruscant, and tonight, of all nights, when Obi-Wan could be out there.

He could be anywhere.

Anakin didn’t know.

Obi-Wan had been missing for twenty-nine hours.

He had walked out of their shared quarters while Anakin was visiting Padmé, sometime in the early evening yesterday, leaving his cloak behind, leaving his lightsaber behind.

And then he was gone.

Anakin had searched all the usual places. He’d reached out to Dex, and alerted Mace Windu and Healer Che, and sent Ahsoka to check with the crèche and Initiates dorm in case he was there playing with and teaching the little ones. He’d contacted Bail and Padmé, and gained permission after the twelve hour mark to examine the security holos.

There was nothing.

It was as if Obi-Wan Kenobi had stepped over the threshold of their door and just fallen out of existence.

Anakin watched rain lash against the window, scattering his pale reflection into twisted fragments, and tried to remind himself that he had already been searching for twenty-five hours straight. That he hadn’t slept or eaten. That Master Koon had forbidden him from going out into the storm to search, when they already had rested and armored troopers doing a steady sweep of the Temple perimeter, even when they didn’t know if Obi-Wan had actually left the grounds.

The Temple was massive.

He could be hiding in an unused wing, or in the depths of the dustiest levels, or in the back of the Archives, or the towers.

No, not the Archives. Master Nu had already searched there and that woman would never miss so much as a hair out of place in her domain, much less a High Councilor.

Anakin had heard Master Mundi making noises about a possible trap or an abduction.

And while that was bad — nightmarish — to contemplate, Anakin had his own fears, and they felt much more realistic, much too close for comfort.

Anakin flung himself down on the sofa with his head in his hands and tried not to admit that he was frightened.

He had seen Obi-Wan like this before. Back when they were a new partnership and Qui-Gon was dead but there was still so much of him living in the Temple, like the mugs, one still the on the countertop with a faint imprint of his lips staining the rim, or his spare cloaks and boots, and the trinkets and potted plants that filled every available space. And Obi-Wan had...

Well. Whenever he thought Anakin wasn’t paying attention, he was so quiet. He barely slept for days and then slept too much. He hardly ate and then ate random things at random times. He hardly smiled.

He wandered off.

Alone.

The worst time had been when Anakin was six months in to his apprenticeship. He had woken up with a terribly bad feeling to find his Master missing from his bed, and with the unerring instinct of a worried child, he had shot off in search of Master Yoda, who had quietly raised the alarm amongst the older Masters. It was Master Windu who had found Obi-Wan, quiet and shrunken and apathetic, concealed in one of the many gardens, letting the life of the garden conceal his dimming force signature from view.

Anakin had clung to him like he was about to disappear, and Obi-Wan hadn’t seemed to really process that he was there...

Eventually he had pulled out of it. Anakin didn’t know how.

But this...

Anakin had been worried since Geonosis that he would lose his Master to death on the battlefield. Then there had been Ventress and Jabiim and Grievous and Dooku and Maul — Maul — and suddenly it felt like Obi-Wan was never safe. The war and his enemies chased him everywhere.

But Obi-Wan had lost friends and peers and younglings he had once taught or cradled in his arms when they were so very small, and his Master’s murderer had come back like a resurrected demon to plague him, to threaten his life and sanity and everyone he loved — and Satine had already paid with her life.

Others might.

And when Anakin had come racing back home from 500 Republica when he’d heard the news, it was already too late, and Obi-Wan had gone off all alone stars knew where.

That was enough.

Anakin leapt to his feet, his body trembling with fear and nausea, determined to ignore orders.

Damn their kindness and responsibility, damn the fact that he’d probably only get soaked and miserable, he was going out searching again.

Anakin strode towards the door on shaking legs.

It swung open before he neared it, and there was Obi-Wan.

Anakin gaped at him.

Obi-Wan stared blankly back. “...Anakin?”

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin breathed, staring at him, taking him in. He was without his cloak and lightsaber, as he had known he would be, and was soaking wet — completely sopping, as if he had swum in a lake rather than wandered about in a rainstorm.

“Obi-Wan,” he said again, his voice strained. “Where have you been?”

His Master continued to look blank. “I went out.”

“You went out? You’ve been gone for well over a day!” Anakin cried out. “Where have you been?”

Obi-Wan shrank away from the shouting. His blue eyes flickered around the room as if looking for an answer, or perhaps an escape, and still his expression was utterly detached. “I... I don’t know, really. Here and there.”

A pause.

“Was I really gone for so long?” he asked. He sounded distantly, disinterestedly bewildered, and Anakin broke.

“Yes!” he shouted, his face screwed up in anger, in an attempt to hold back childish tears. “Yes you have! You disappeared! There are people looking for you, and the Council was worried you’d been taken, and I was so— I was — so — I— you can’t do that to me, Obi-Wan, please, I was losing my mind!”

Obi-Wan’s blank expression finally shifted.

A look of confusion and worry built behind the vague blue eyes, and Anakin launched himself at his friend like he had all those years ago, locking his limbs around him in a fierce hug.

For a long moment it was like hugging a statue. A very cold, very wet statue that shivered ever so slightly.

But Anakin held on, determined to keep Obi-Wan right here, to keep him safe and warm, to make him understand that he was needed, that he could also rest, that it would all be okay if he just stayed. Stayed like he had before. His tunics began to absorb some of the icy moisture coming off his Master but he kept holding on, his face buried in Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

And slowly, Obi-Wan came to life.

His hands inched upwards to rest against his Padawan’s back, and he tilted his head so that he was leaning against Anakin’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice muffled. “I had no idea you’d be so concerned.”

“I wasn’t concerned, you absolute idiot, I was scared,” Anakin hissed, the confession both bitter and relieving on his lips. “How would you feel if I vanished with no word? For thirty hours?”

A long silence.

“Well,” Obi-Wan said thoughtfully, “I would be impressed with Padmé for not getting bored of you long before that.”

There was a dead silence.

Then a spluttered, incredulous laugh, and it took Anakin a moment to realize it was he who was laughing. His shoulders shook with it, with shock at the revelation of what Obi-Wan knew, that he wasn’t angry about it, that he was cracking stupid, mean, dumb jokes about it when Anakin was trying to be mad at him.

Obi-Wan chuckled quietly, and Anakin laughed harder, delighted that his friend was smiling, if only a little.

“You’re not off the hook you know,” he mumbled, guiding Obi-Wan to his rooms, planning on forcing him to take a hot shower and drink warm tea and maybe pull out one of Qui-Gon’s old cloaks, because that always helped.

“Neither are you,” Obi-Wan mumbled back, and squeezed his hand every so briefly.

When Plo Koon dropped by to check on Anakin, very early the next morning, he found him sleeping soundly on a chair, snoring quietly, his feet propped on the arm of the sofa, where Obi-Wan was fast asleep with an old cloak that was far too large for him draped over his body.

It was easy to forgive them to forgetting to inform the Guard to call off the search.

Mace could pretend to yell at them during their next Council meeting, during which, he was sure, the two friends would stand side by side, mischief in their eyes.

#star wars fic #my writing #prompt fill #star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #obi wan and anakin #qui gon jinn #master & padawan #more hugs needed #tw depression #tw disassociation #angst and fluff #everyone loves obi wan #literally everyone #mace pretends to be cranky with them but mostly he’s just #amused #and tired

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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 4 years ago

Text

Regardless of the bond [James Potter x Reader]

Title: Regardless of the bond Pairing: James Potter x Female!Reader Word count: 3.3k Published: 19 April 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Summary: [x] The existence of soulmates was hard for you to believe. You wished to be one of them, but after your 18th birthday, when you were supposed to experience a difference, you are left disappointed. Knowing you didn’t have that special bond and you had to continue watching the one you liked so deeply love someone else makes you want to just disappear. Bingo: [x] This is part of my Make me feel Bingo Card by @girl-next-door-writes

Square filled: Alternative Universe

Harry Potter Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

Make me feel Bingo Masterlist

If you enjoy my stories, please consider donating and supporting me on Ko-fi. Of course, it’s completely your choice, I will continue updating for free anyway :) Thank you <3

Soulmates were a very widely known myth that many believed and wished to experience, but some found it to be a silly little idea created by those who romanticised the idea to be with someone for the rest of their lives. The thought of loving someone and being loved unconditionally was indeed one that many wished to have, but since soulmates were rather rare, people often ignored its existence and chose to find love themselves. According to the myths, some people experienced finding their soulmate with a simple touch, where for a mere second, they saw images of their future life together. For some it was a sensation, a pulling force telling them that they belonged together. There were some theories where they could recognise each other’s scent. Many different myths have been spread throughout the centuries, but there was one mutual theory in all of them. When it happens, you just know it, you feel it, every single fibre of your body screams for that certain person to stay in your life.

You were one of those who believed it but didn’t think it would ever happen to you. You hoped, of course you did, but you were more logical than to rely on an old myth. Having such a strong connection was a lovely idea, but it was hard to believe that it would be handed to you on a silver plate. All the fairy tales you have heard about from your parents said that the soulmate-bond would be activated after your 18th birthday if you had one. But of course, it’s been a month and you have felt no different than before, reassuring you that you weren’t any special.

You were seated in the Gryffindor common room, legs thrown over the arm of the sofa, hanging down on the side as you doodle little drawings on a piece of ripped parchment.

“What are you doing?” You heard a voice and as you looked up, you recognised Lily standing in the doorway.

“Just drawing,” you replied, turning back to your parchment, ignoring your friend.

“Good, good,” she nodded and took a seat beside you, staring at your doodles.

“Is there anything you want?” You asked, turning back to her with an expectant expression, brows running high.

“Nope,” she popped the ‘p’ as she shook her head. You frowned at her rather strange behaviour, but once again turned back to your drawings, trying to ignore her staring. However, it seemed to be a task easier said than done. Feeling Lily’s breath on your neck and her eyes attached to your drawing, whilst squirming in her place chased all your creativity away. You folded up your paper and looked at your friend once again.

“You are being fairly annoying,” you stated with a grimace.

“I didn’t even do anything,” she huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest and turning to the opposite direction, giving you a side-glance every once in a while.

“Breathing down my neck and staring at me is quite creepy and as much as I love you, your behaviour is very unusual so spill it, what’s going on?” You asked firmly, causing Lily to scrunch her nose and pout in a child-like manner. She was a very smart witch and an even better friend, but at times she was capable of getting on your nerves with a simple look. “Come on, I don’t have all day to wait for you,” you rushed her as you stood up and tossed the folded parchment in the drawer of your desk and closed it with a thudding sound.

“I have overheard a little discussion between James and Sirius. They were talking about you,” she smirked playfully, wiggling her brows as though you were supposed to understand.

“I’m not sure what kind of reaction you are expecting of me,” you frowned in confusion.

“Well, certainly a happier one than the one I’m getting now,” she grimaced. “I have been hearing nothing else from you, but how much you’ve liked James since the first time you talked,” she tried to lead you to the right direction, but you still stood there cluelessly.

“So?” you asked.

“So? James and Sirius were talking about you,” Lily repeated slower as if you didn’t understand before.

“I heard you for the first time too, I’m not stupid. I simply don’t understand what you want from me. James and Sirius are my friends, they will inevitably talk about me if I come up in a subject,” you shrugged nonchalantly.

“You are unbelievable. I overheard James telling Sirius that he has feelings for you,” Lily exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. But instead of excitement you gave her a deadpan expression. “Okay, I’m not sure what’s going on with you today, but I’m honestly starting to think you are broken or something,” she huffed.

“We both know that James has been running after you for years, Lils. Sure, we are close, I love him to bits, however, I am nothing but a friend to him. I’m not sure what you heard or what you misunderstood to be exact, but we both know James has liked you for years and I find it hard to believe that his last year will be the one where he changes his mind so abruptly,” you explained. Whilst a part of you wished to believe it was true, a more logical side made sure to crush those hopeful thoughts that tried to sway you.

“I’m sorry, but I’m quite sure of what I heard. And why couldn’t he? Crushes come and go, and he hasn’t asked me out or showed any interest in me for the last month or so. I do believe he has feelings for you, but you have been friends for so long, you can’t expect him to just walk up to you and confess,” Lily tried to pressure your logical side, but you couldn’t find it in you to agree. You have liked him for so long, you were numb to even the thought of him ever reciprocating your feelings.

“Ok, I accept that. Now that we have concluded this conversation, can we actually grab something to eat?” You asked whilst walking towards the door and opening it for Lily, waiting for her to follow you.

“You’re definitely broken,” she huffed, annoyed by your nonchalant behaviour.

“And you are rather annoying today. I’m glad we both have negative feelings towards each other. It will be a beautiful day,” you put on a fake smile, earning a grimace from Lily.

“You have been avoiding him recently,” she added with a side-glance, making you groan as you headed down the stairs to the common room.

“Can we stop talking about him for a second?” you asked, pleading with the girl.

“Fine, but I’m not giving up just yet,” shrugging, she hurried up her steps and walked out the common room, leaving you farther behind. Rolling your eyes, you heaved a heavy sigh and followed her to the Great hall.

As you sat at the Gryffindor table with Lily on your right, eating your usual morning toast, James took a seat on your other side whilst Sirius sat down beside Lily, followed by Remus and Peter across the table.

“We have a beautiful day today, don’t we?” James beamed, his unusually positive attitude making you frown. Everyone seemed to act unlike themselves and you certainly didn’t like the way they behaved.

“I guess,” you replied with a grimace. “Would have been better if Lily didn’t start my day by dancing on my nerves,” you groaned.

“I was simply stating facts,” she huffed.

“That could possibly be a definition of annoying too if we dig deeper,” you retorted.

“It’s not my fault you are hard-headed,” she rolled her eyes.

“It’s not my fault you are spreading false rumours,” you shrugged nonchalantly.

“It’s not my fault you can’t see the forest from the tree,” she grimaced.

“Woah, woah, let’s just stop it there. We have quite an intense breakfast on our hands. What do you say we just continue eating quietly?” James asked, trying to stop your bickering.

“Been doing that until you arrived with your overly-positive attitude,” you replied as you bit into your toast.

“I’m sorry for having a nice day. Instead of being gloomy, you could try it too,” he raised a questioning brow, wearing a playful smirk across his face. In normal circumstances you would have returned his smile, feeling all warm inside, feeling your cheeks flush. He had a certain vibe that always made you feel happier even if you were down. But not in that moment. It just didn’t work.

“Will take your advice into consideration,” you huffed as you stood up from the table, finishing your breakfast. “See you later,” you nodded and headed towards the exit. You barely reached the first classroom across the corridor when you heard your name being called.

Turning around you, you saw James walking towards you in a haste. “Hmm?” You hummed in a questioning tone.

“You are acting strange recently. I can’t talk to you, I barely see you and honestly, I feel like you are avoiding me,” he stated, nervously rocking from one foot to the other. Indeed, you have been trying to keep a distance from the boy, knowing he fancied Lily whilst you liked him. Since your birthday you expected some kind of sign that would lead you to your soulmate, but it never happened. No images, no scents, no touches. The person you liked for so long had a crush on someone else and when you finally thought you might have a chance to find someone to connect with, you had to release you as one of many didn’t have a soulmate.

“Look, I just prefer being alone nowadays,” you lied. Imagining a pitiful look in his eyes, knowing why you have been avoiding him was something you never wanted to see. He was always supportive, and you could always rely on him, but this time you couldn’t possibly open up to him. You didn’t want his apologetic looks.

“Seven years. It’s been seven years since we first met and almost as long since we have become friends. I think I know you fairly well. Sure, people change, so did you and I, but we have changed together, for me you are still the same person I befriended. I don’t understand why you think that I would believe you. Wanting to be alone on occasions is fine, you have always done that, but you never closed me out completely until recently. I need to know what’s going on,” he pleaded, his words, his eyes, even his tone screaming for some kind of an explanation, but you couldn’t give him what he wanted.

“I’m sorry,” you simply apologised and started walking away. Giving him an explanation would have revealed your secret and you were not ready for that. Maybe once when your feelings were finally gone and you decide to sit down to talk about the old times, being nostalgic, maybe then you would have the courage, but not in that moment.

“Sorry is not enough,” he raised his voice as he hurried after you and grabbed your wrist. The feeling of his warm palm across your skin sent shivers down your spine. Your lips parted in surprise as you felt electricity run through the spot where he held onto you, starting off your heart in a quick pace. Feeling your cheeks heat up, you turned around and looked into his brown eyes as wide as yours, trying to figure out the unusual, sudden feeling. You felt your chest compress, air stuck in your lungs as you watched the man you had feelings for being just as shocked as you were. Knowing, hoping, believing what that certain electrical feeling running through you meant, it frightened you. You never wanted to be bonded with a man who loved someone else and the simple thought of you having to watch him run after his loved one made you feel as though your heart was shattering into the smallest of pieces, where picking them and trying to mend them wasn’t an option anymore.

Both of you stood stunned, his fingers firmly around your wrist, staring at each other, wordlessly trying to communicate. It was James who recovered first and let go of your arm, leaving it to fall beside you. You wanted to speak, you wanted him to speak, but none of you knew the right words to voice. In your shocked state you just wanted to disappear, you wanted to run away. The awkward silence was making you mad and frustrated, wanting nothing but to get as far from him as possible. So, you did. You hurried off, the sound of your heavy steps following you through the corridor. Hearing James’ pleading voice to stop you didn’t seem to work, you hurried your steps, not knowing where you were heading.

“Stop!” James appeared in front of you, stepping out of a hidden door you have not seen before.

“Leave me alone, James,” you pleaded, desperately needing some time alone.

“You felt it too. I know you did, so stop running away,” he stepped in your way as you tried to walk around him. He was determined to keep you there, to talk to you, to finally stop you from avoiding him.

“Why? I felt nothing. Just get away from me,” you raised your voice, even though you have never done it before, but it didn’t work. James wasn’t giving in.

“Enough,” he raised his voice this time, but it wasn’t threatening nor aggressive, he was firm and somewhat assertive. “You can avoid me if you like, you can ignore me if that makes you feel better but telling me that you didn’t feel anything when I touched you, lying to my face, that I will not take,” he exhaled slowly. “I know you felt it too and we both know what it meant. You are not stupid and nor am I. And if you feel like pretending that it didn’t happen,” he swallowed and heaved a heavy sigh,” we can do that, I will not force you. I’m only asking you not to run away from me,” he pleaded with you.

Feeling the tears collecting in your eyes, you tried to keep them in bay, not wanting James to see you so vulnerable. A heavy sigh left your lungs as you looked up at him, locking your eyes with him. “I— I don’t know how to handle this, James. You have been in love with Lily for so long, I don’t know how to react. I don’t want to be bonded to someone who already loves someone else,” you finally voiced your thoughts, finding it hard to resist the pleading look across his face.

“I never loved Lily,” he shook his head with a deep frown. “I was in a way infatuated with her, I liked the idea of liking her, but I didn’t love her. And I don’t feel that way anymore. I haven’t even tried getting closer to her in the last couple of months. If you were here, you could have seen it, but you decided to avoid me at all cost,” his tone, his demeanour, his firm stance radiated confidence and sincerity. Indeed, you haven’t seen much of him and you couldn’t judge what happened around your friend circle recently, but it was hard to believe that after all this time he just gave up on Lily.

“Look, whether you like her or not is not my business really and you don’t owe me any explanation. Maybe in the future you will like someone else, and I will be happy for you, but we have been friends for so long, I don’t want this stupid bond to stand in your way. So, let’s just pretend it didn’t happen, alright?” you tried to compromise, but James shook his head heavily in reply and stepped closer to you.

“How can you be so silly? You and this bond will always be standing in the way of me liking someone else, because regardless of that stupid bond, it is you that I like,” he confessed, his eyes a storm of emotions. He reached for your hand, cupping them in his, squeezing yours gently. “I like you. I really do. It has nothing to do with that bond,” he swallowed nervously. You tried to respond, say something, but instead you kept opening and closing your mouth as if you were a fish out of water, gaping, finding it hard to breath. It was hard to believe, but you couldn’t deny the tiny bit of flame you felt deep within you, hope that meant you still had a chance with him.

“But why?” you exclaimed in shock, not even realising your own words. James let out a mild chuckle, your words catching him off guard.

“Because you were always there for me, because you always knew what to say to me, how to hold me, how to deal with me. Because whenever I’m around you I’m both calm and nervous at the same time. Because you make me feel like a little child, wanting to smile whenever I see you. You are beautiful of course, but regardless I feel as though there’s this pulling force between us. I didn’t realise that I liked you until you were avoiding me. And it was not because of the bond, but because I realised that you were not there beside me and I missed the smallest of details that makes you—you. Scrunching your nose, pouting, grimacing at my silly ideas, scolding me for not studying. Every single little detail that makes you— you, was just missing from my life and it was killing me. I do like you more than you can imagine with or without that stupid bond,” he replied with a lopsided smile across his face, leaning his forehead against yours.

“But Lily—” you wanted to say, but he cut you off.

“There is no Lily. There’s only you and me. I just want you to maybe give me a chance to try if we work, if this— whatever is between us works,” he pleaded and instead of a reply, you stood on your tiptoes and attached your lips to his. He was hesitant, he didn’t know what was happening, but he didn’t let his chance slip out of his hands. He let go of your hands and cupped your face for better access, devouring your lips, losing himself in the moment where it was indeed only you and him.

“I like you. I like you so much,” you breathed against his lips, stunning him. His eyes widened at your words, clearly shocked by your sudden confession.

“But you have been avoiding me,” he exclaimed.

“I couldn’t be around you. I couldn’t watch you run after Lily anymore,” you shook your head, nervously biting your lip.

“I’m so sorry for putting you through that,” he hinted a small kiss on your forehead. “I promise I will make up for it if you give me a chance.”

“Wasn’t I clear enough?” you giggled softly as you placed your hands on his, holding your face. “There is nothing I want more than to give us a chance,” you smiled, reassuring him that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

“Well, since we have already missed the beginning of the first class, we could start off by trying to regain the last month you have so rudely taken from me,” he raised a questioning brow, hoping you would agree.

“I guess we could skip a class after all,” you giggled softly.

“Or more than one,” he wiggled his brows as he captured your lips once again, impatiently waiting for all the memories you were to experience together.

Notes: If you enjoyed reading this little piece, please don’t forget to leave a like, comment and reblog. Your opinion matters and gives us motivation. Thank you ^^

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Taglist from now on is in a reblog.

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter oneshot #james potter fanfiction #james potter x reader imagine #james potter x reader oneshot #james potter x reader fanfiction #girl next door's make me feel bingo #harry potter #james potter x yn #james potter x y/n

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ptergwen · 4 years ago

Text

give it a try

w/c: 1.4k

warnings: mentions of smut, angst, and swearing

a/n: i meant to say this a while ago but thank you all so much for 1k oh my GODDD i love you guys and it makes me so happy y’all love me back <3 and i know i’ve just been doing blurb requests lately but i’m gonna try to write more fics too! keep sending them in though it’s fun talking to everyone!!!! also i got this idea here so thanks to whoever sent it

“fuck,” peter breathes out, rolling over so he’s next to you on your bed. you’re a panting mess after what you just did together. you let out a laugh and turn to face him. “shit, that was good.” your fingers comb through his matted curls. he takes your hand in his, bringing it to his chest. “really good. i’m ready to go again,” he chuckles. you playfully swat at his chest with your intertwined fingers. “of course you are.”

you’ve been doing this with peter for a few months now. he’ll send you a text or just drop by your apartment, and you take it from there. the transition from friends to friends with benefits happened over some beer one night.

you’d known you felt something more for him ever since you got close in your freshman year of college. alcohol gave you the courage to act on it. peter ended up feeling the same. sexually, at least. you’re pretty sure the romantic part is one sided. you still make an effort either way.

propping yourself up on your elbow, you look him over. “wanna go get food? it’s early.” “nah, i can’t. i’m supposed finish a paper for tomorrow.” peter presses his lips together. he never stays too long after you hook up. you don’t know what it is. maybe it’s to keep this separate from your friendship. you wish he’d let things overlap for once. messy is exciting.

“oh, that’s okay.” you try not to sound too disappointed. peter gives you an apologetic smile and gets off the bed. he steps back into his boxers, picking his shirt up off the floor next. you’re only watching. you already feel so empty, and he hasn’t even left. that’s the only part of being friends with benefits that you don’t like. you only get half of what you want.

peter is fully dressed now. he comes back over to you so he can say goodbye. sitting up, you raise your eyebrows at him. “are you sure you don’t wanna stay a little longer?” this is another attempt to break the cycle again. his mouth drops open, but he doesn’t say anything. he stares at you for a few seconds. he can see the hope in your eyes. you can see it in his, too. he’s finally changing his mind.

then, he shakes his head.

“i really have to go, y/n. i’ll text you later.” peter lowers his voice, breaking eye contact. a weight comes crushing down on your chest. you thought it finally worked. nodding, you stay silent as he walks to your bedroom door. he turns back with his hand on the knob. he’s waiting for you to say something.

“goodnight. good luck with your paper,” you croak out. “thanks. find something to eat.” it’s like he was never here the second he’s out your door.

your appetite is gone, but you know you need dinner. you throw together a boring salad with whatever is in your fridge. all you can think about while you chew the bitter lettuce is being cuddled up next to peter. you’d eventually fall asleep in his arms, and he’d be there when you wake up. is that so much to ask for?

peter can’t focus. he’s been trying to write his thesis for way too long. every time he starts typing, his mind goes to you. you under him, you holding his hand, you fighting back tears when he left. he hates doing this to you. if he could help it, he would have stayed all those nights and this one. he wishes it were that simple.

he’s worried he’ll lose you somehow. your friendship is what keeps him grounded, and he doesn’t want to imagine not having it in his life. too many people have came and gone. peter can’t ruin what he has with you. that’s why he never made a move, until you initiated it.

he knows you love him as more than a friend. he loves you the same, but he’s not taking things farther than they are right now. there’s always the possibility you’ll break up. he could also put you in danger. anything that takes you away from him isn’t happening. it’s easier to keep doing this, even though it hurts both of you.

the next time peter comes over, it’s been a while since you’ve seen him. you were never free at the same time. whether he planned that or not is beyond you. he makes it up to you either way, taking things slower than usual and giving you head first. he also lays with you when you’re done. something might have clicked after your last hookup.

peter has an arm wrapped loosely around you. your head is resting on his bare chest, smiling lazily. “so, did you wanna spend the night?” you figured you’d give it a shot by asking. things seem different for once. sighing, peter looks away from you. “i have to be up early, and none of my stuff is here. sorry.”

it’s like he has an infinite amount of excuses.

“you could borrow a toothbrush,” you scoff. his arm slips from around your side. “y/n, it’s not gonna work.” his voice is too calm for your liking. you sit up. “will it ever? i keep giving you signs, and you always reject me-“ “i’m not rejecting you.” there’s no way he said that. laughing in disbelief, you throw your hands up.

“then what are you doing, peter?” he gulps. “because i can’t keep letting you make me feel this way.” suddenly, peter is on his feet. he’s gathering his clothes while you sit there. that wasn’t what you were expecting.

“i told you not to get attached,” he almost yells, balling his clothes into a pile. you blink a few times. “i already was.” there’s a silence between you two. not sure what to do, peter quickly heads out of your room without another word. you’re so confused. you have no idea where this leaves the two of you or where he’s going.

as complicated as this is, you aren’t trying to fix it this time. peter made it clear he doesn’t want you to.

you wake up later that night to someone knocking at your window. the only person who could get up this high is peter. rubbing your eyes, you pull the covers off yourself. this is new. you turn on a light before sliding up your window for him. peter comes through just like he left, silently. he has a nervous look on his face.

“can i sit?” he asks quietly, you gesturing to your bed in response. you take a seat next to him. “what are you doing here so late?” “i...” his hands fidget in his lap. “i wanted to apologize.” you nod once to let him know he can go on. “i’ve been a really bad friend lately, and you’re right.” “about what?” he’s still playing with his fingers to distract himself. you put one of your hands on top of his. his teary eyes meet yours.

“i thought pushing you away was the only way to keep this going.” he takes in a shaky breath. “but... i love you, y/n.” tears are falling down his cheeks, your heart beating faster at his confession. his voice breaks. “i’m so sorry i didn’t say it sooner. i fucked everything up.”

“peter, peter. no you didn’t.” you put an arm around him, your free hand coming up to hold the back of his head. he hides his face in your shoulder. he’s crying on you.

you’re stroking his hair while he lets it all out, his arms wrapped around your lower back. you hug him against you. “i love you, okay? we’re gonna be fine.” “could we...” peter cuts himself off with a sniffle. “could we give it a try? being a couple?” you tilt your head to look at him.

“of course. you know i want to.” he uses a hand to wipe at his eyes, taking his head off your shoulder. you move yours down to his neck. he’s starting to catch his breath.

“i’ll, um, spend the night. if that’s okay.” “let’s get in bed,” you tell him softly, guiding him back to the pillows. he goes under the covers while you reach over and shut the light. you’re under them next, the bed warmer than usual now thay peter is in it. it’s nice. “wanna cuddle?” you almost whisper.

peter holds an arm out for you. curling into his side, you wrap both of yours around his torso. this is exactly what you’ve been needing. both of you.

it took some time to get here, but you’re finally giving it a try.

#peter parker smut #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #peter parker #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine

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enthusiasticharry · 4 years ago

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Baby Steps

summary: you’re harry’s sons therapist, and he isn't the only one you end up helping.

word count: hi! it has been a long while since I’ve posted on here so I hope you enjoy this 8.6k piece of pure fluff and smut!

masterlist | asks

As a child, Harry had never been given many opportunities to freely express himself. He grew up in a rural area where the sheep overruled the people and the only extra-circular activity available was playing football at the park with his friends that weren’t truly his friends. He was only a mere teenager when he decided that whenever he had kids, he would give them as many opportunities as possible.

He tried in school, don’t discourage him about that, but it didn’t work out as planned. That’s how he ended up working within the company he did. He started from the bottom, working 9 to 5 within a cubicle everyday until he had worked up to become chief editor. He had his own office, with his name written on a plaque upon the door and his photos sat upon the desk. It made day to day that little bit more enjoyable.

“Finishing early today, Mr. Styles?” Genevieve asked, watching as he closes his door behind him.

“Yes, I am.” He smiles politely, “It’s been in the calendar for weeks.”

“I’ve noticed.” He knew she hadn’t. Genevieve was okay at her job, he supposed. She was an apprentice the company had hired straight out of university and of course he didn’t mind that she was still finding her feet, “Enjoy your evening, Mr. Styles.”

“You too, Genevieve.” He nods his head at the girl and walks towards the exit.

At the ripe age of twenty-eight, Harry knew that he still had his entire life ahead of him but at the same time he was pretty content. He had his job, his small town house and more importantly his son, Theo. He hadn’t expected his girlfriend of a couple of months to get pregnant but in his mind he knew what had happened and that it was something that the two of them had to take responsibility for, but she didn’t think the same thing. Harry had loved her, and he had hoped that she had loved him and their son as much as he did but it just wasn’t meant to be. He had suspected that she was going to leave, he just hadn’t expected it to be in the middle of the night whilst their son was a month old and still nursing.

It was the following morning that Harry knew that he was going try his damned hardest to be the best Father possible for his son, try to give him the world and everything good that came along with it.

“Harry!” Mrs. Walters, the woman who lives next door exclaims as she throws the door open, “Please come in.”

“Hi Mrs. Walters.” He smiles, following the elderly woman into the living room, “Has he been good today?”

“We had a little disagreement at nap time but apart from that he’s been perfect!”

“I’m glad to hear it. He’s never been the biggest fan of naps.”

Just seeing Theo’s little face light up as he walked into the room was enough reason to keep his heart beating for centuries. Theo was the absolute double of Harry, and he could even see it himself. Even at three years old he had his father’s green eyes and curly brown hair and it was another thing that caused his love for his little man to grown everyday.

“Dada!” He toddled over to his father, only just starting to feel confident upon his feet, and wrapped his arms around Harry’s legs, his chunky cheeks pressed against his shin.

“Hi bubba.” He picks his son up and rests him upon his hip, “Did you have a nice day with Mrs. West?”

Theo nods and drops his head down upon Harry’s shoulder with a light sigh of content.

“He’s been amazing, Harry, don’t worry.” The older woman drops her head to Harry’s free shoulder, “I’ll see you two tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow, Mrs. West.”

Theo’s little hand rests comfortably within Harry’s as they walk through the door of community centre, his little feet tapping upon the wood in his trainers.

“Harry! Theo!” You exclaim, walking over to the two of them with a large smile across your face, “I’m so glad you could make it this week!”

“Yeah. Sorry about last week, I couldn’t get out of work on time and then once I did he wasn’t in the best of moods.”

“Don’t worry about it! It’s totally fine, we understand that you can’t make every week.”

Harry nods his head.

“Anyway.” You have a nice smile and it was probably the first thing that Harry noticed about you when you met, “We’re just about to get started.”

Harry sits down, crossing his legs as he does so. Theo drops down upon his father’s lap straight afterwards, his face pressed into the material of Harry’s crisp white dress shirt. Harry’s eyes bounce to look over the other children, the ones who acted similarly too Theo when they first joined. They all either sat in their parents laps comfortably or on the floor now, not one with a flicker of anxiousness across their features.

Theo and Harry have attended three of these sessions to help with confidence, and Theo had only just started to leave his shell in the last twenty minutes of the last session they went to and now it felt as though Harry had messed everything up again. He felt as though they were back to square one.

Then he feels a hand upon his shoulder.

“Its okay.” You smile, squeezing gently, “He’ll be okay, don’t worry.”

He will be, Harry knows that.

Another week had passed and Harry was yet again sat in a circle in the children’s room of the community centre with Theo sat upon his lap. Harry felt a little more at ease this week, since his little boy sat forward with a small, very small smile on his lips as he looked at… you? You hadn’t been there to greet them like you were last week, and he certainly hadn’t had the chance to say hello yet. It had been a warm-ish day today and Harry concluded that was probably why you were wearing a cute yellow sundress with small white flowers on it, something he had never seen you in before. You still wore your smile, Harry had noticed.

“Today.” You always overplayed your facial features to interest the children, “We are all going to write a story together.”

Theo’s little eyes widened in excitement.

“You like that idea, bub?” Harry whispered. Theo nodded.

“So I’ll start.” You touch your chest, “Then we’ll pass to Edith’s mummy and then Edith and we’ll continue that way around the circle!”

Harry and Theo would be third, which wasn’t too bad. He just hoped that Theo would get involved, he loved stories enough to have a mind spiralling with ideas.

“Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a princess…” You start, smiling to the person next within the circle.

“…in a big castle with a swimming pool!”

“She has dog!”

“…called muffin who she loves to play with in the…”

“Park!”

“Then.” Harry started, leaning so that he was speaking to Theo as well as the rest of the group, “One day, something magical appeared in front of her…”

“Dinosaur!”

Harry beams and whispers, “Well done Theo!”

The story finishes with the princess riding the dinosaur along a rainbow, courtesy of the little girl called Tara who finishes the circle. Normally the children disperse the last twenty minutes or so to play amongst themselves whilst the adults talk about what type of week they’ve had. They were doing just that, but today, Harry’s heart stopped at the sight of his little boy sat with little Tara drawing at the tiny desk when usually he just does that on his own.

Harry had honestly never thought that he would be going to group behavioural therapy for his three year old son, but, he promised he would do anything for his little boy.

“Hi everyone.” They were now sat around a table, one fit for adults, whilst a few of your colleagues watched the children, “I’m excited to hear how all your weeks have been!”

Tara’s mum starts, explaining that this week the nursery had phoned up to explain that she hadn’t spoken to anyone at lunchtime but there had been the odd time where she’d had a small conversation with a couple of classmates.

Harry listens to a few others. How Ryan had bit a kid at school the other day, how Delilah refused to say anything for a couple of days that week. Harry had never experienced Theo biting or injuring other kids but he had experienced him shutting down and not speaking to anyone.

“Harry.” You smile, “How has little Theo been this week?”

“He’s, uh, been okay I suppose.” He runs his finger across his bottom lip, “Nothing out of the ordinary. Had an odd hour or so yesterday.”

“Has he made any friends at nursery, yet?”

“No. I don’t think so. I’m trying to get him in everyday but it’s proving to be difficult.”

You smile, “He’ll get there Harry. It might take him a bit longer than normal but he will get there.”

After listening to the other parents, the meeting for that week finishes. Harry waits for Theo to finish his drawing before helping him into his coat. Your words pondered through his mind — he certainly hoped that Theo would get better but it was a walk, not a sprint.

“Hi Theo.” You beam as you walk towards the two, “Can I see your drawing?”

After a few moments of contemplation, he passes the drawing to you.

“Wow! It’s beautiful! Can you draw me one whilst I talk to your Daddy?”

Theo listens to your request and starts on the drawing straight away, picking up colour after colour whilst Harry looks at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“I just wanted to have a quick word, nothing bad, I promise.”

Harry nods.

“Theo is making excellent progress in the program and I’m sure you’ve seen the results for yourself but as you know he is going a little slower than the rest of the kids.”

“If this is because we missed one then it’s completely my fault—”

“It’s not! Don’t think that, it’s not!” You’re quick to say, “I was thinking the other day of ways to help and I remembered that my friend runs a group at the weekend for children that are struggling to cope with the loss of a parent.”

“But I thought he was too young to be affected by that?”

“I thought so too but I did some more research and even though he was very, very young when his mother left, it could still be affecting him.” You swallow and tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear, “He will have noticed that he doesn’t have two parents and that could be the stem of all of the problems.”

Of course this had run through Harry’s mind a few time but he always brushed it off because he was so young when it happened. The fact that woman might be the reason his son was so quiet and not himself all of the time caused his stomach to flip. He hadn’t seen her since that night but she was still affecting him day upon day and he hated it.

“When is this group?”

“Oh!” You exclaim, happy that he hadn’t just shut the idea down, “It’s on Saturday at ten whilst twelve but you can come and go as you please.”

“Will you be there?” Why had he just asked that? He probably sounded like such a weirdo.

“I will.” You smiled, “Just for you.”

Harry certainly hadn’t expected to spend his Saturday morning sat at upon a bench outside the community centre watching Theo play with other kids. He was surprised how easily Theo had left his shell around all of these kids but he supposed they all had something in common, that they were raised by only one parent.

Another thing he hadn’t expected was to be sat sharing the said bench with you, but he wasn’t complaining.

“Black coffee.” You smile, holding out the cup for him to take.

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” You take a sip of your own cup of tea, “He seems to be doing well.”

“I’m really surprised. The last time I saw him gel to someone so quickly was when he met our neighbour, Mrs. West.”

You smile, “It’s good. You’ll be able to figure out which group works the best for you both.”

“Will you be here every week?”

Is he flirting? You certainly weren’t complaining, anyone with eyes could see that Harry is a very handsome man but never in a million years did you think that he would be flirting with you. Maybe he wasn’t even flirting and you were just letting your imagination run a little too wild.

“I—”

“I’m sorry.” He’s quick to say, “What I meant is that he’s comfortable around you, and I would hate for him to loose that sort of comfort.”

“I completely understand.” You nod. So he wasn’t flirting with you. There was a part of you that was sort of disappointed and wished that he had been flirting with you, “Well he seems to be enjoying himself here so how about we slowly introduce him to just coming here. I’ll come for the first couple of weeks so that he’s comfortable.”

“Thank you. I haven’t said that enough but I honestly can’t thank you enough for what you’re doing for my son.”

“It’s my job, Harry. I do this for a reason.”

“But you didn’t have to do this. Spend your Saturday morning sat on a bench with me to make sure that Theo is okay. You didn’t have to do this.”

“But I am. I’m doing it because I care about that little boy and I want him to get better. And you’re certainly not bad company.”

Harry smiles and looks away. It probably makes it more obvious that his cheeks are flushing at her words. You have always made Harry nervous, even from the first meeting when he asked whether you could help his son. Was it wrong? Probably. Did he care? No, as far as he knew this crush was harmless and it wasn’t as though it was reciprocated he supposed.

“I know I’m not as exciting at Theo but I do try.”

“I can tell.” You smile, “Was he okay at nursery yesterday?”

“The same I think. Nursery didn’t say anything when I picked him up and they usually do if something happened. Good or bad.”

“That’s good. Some will just ignore the problem. I’ve helped a few parents who have struggled with that.”

“I’m lucky.” He nodded, “We’re lucky.”

“How are you?”

“I’m fine. Theo’s getting better, that’s the most important thing.”

You sigh, “Not Theo. How are you?”

“I’m getting there. I’m taking each day as it comes, I suppose.”

“Do you have people that you talk to?” You ask before immediately trying to retract your question, “I understand if you don’t want to tell me. I can be nosey sometimes.”

“No. It’s fine.” He coughs to clear his voice, his eyes watching as Theo sits in the sand pit with a bucket and spade, “I talk to my mum and sister if there’s anything really wrong.”

“Nobody else?” You’re daring, and your eyebrow raises in nervousness.

“I’m single if that’s what you’re asking.” He chuckles.

Your eyes bug, “Well I—”

“Its okay, YN.” He laughs now, his dimples deepening, “Are you single?”

“I am.” You smile, “I’m glad you have someone to talk to that isn’t your three year old son. It’s important.”

“I know. I kept a lot of it to myself at the start and just tried to be the best that I could be for Theo but it hit a point where I needed help, and I knew I did.”

“It’s commendable that you did that. Too many single parents try to do it on their own and it just doesn’t work. It not only causes them to fizzle out but it causes strain on the kids.”

“Have you got children?”

“No.” Your lips curl, “I just enjoy working with them — to a degree obviously.”

A chuckle passes. It’s at this point that Harry realises that this is the first conversation you have had with him that passes the point of being somewhat professional. You’re dipping your toes in the idea of the conversation being about getting to know each other rather than being about Theo or any information about the group.

“I can’t imagine.”

“You never know what the days going to hold when you walk through the door. They say to never work with children and animals.” You laugh, “Where you do you work?”

“I work at a publishing company. I’m the chief editor. It’s not the best but it pays the bills.”

“It sounds very interesting.”

“It isn’t. The amount of articles about interior design I read on a weekly basis is sort of absurd.”

“Interior design?”

“I work for an interior design magazine. I probably should’ve explained that first.”

You giggle, “I bet your house is immaculately decorated.”

“To a degree.” He chuckles, “Living with a three year old sort of means you’re house always looks like a bomb has hit it.”

“I can imagine.”

“I wouldn’t change it for anything. Yeah it is a mess but it isn’t too bad and he’s leaning that he won’t get treats if he doesn’t clean up after himself.”

“Nice. I’m sure that works a treat.”

“It does.” He laughs, “Literally.”

“He’s a good kid, Harry. You can tell. He’ll be perfectly fine.”

You keep saying that.

Harry received a message the following Wednesday around lunch time that he hadn’t expected. He was just about to tuck into the salad he had pre-made this morning fort lunch when his phone lit up on the desk. A small message box covers up his wallpaper which was a photo of Theo in the bath, bubbles on his head in a cone shape and upon his chin like a beard.

Hi Harry, Its YN. I promise I’m not weird I just got your number of the system to send this. I’m just letting you know that tonight’s group is cancelled, I’m bunged up with a cold and would hate to pass it onto any of the kiddies :) Hope you are well.

Hi YN. I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better soon. See you next week. H.

Harry couldn’t hide that he was a little disappointed. He was starting to enjoy going to the centre every week. He could say that it was because his son was slowly coming out of his shell, and that was part of it, but ever since your conversation he had that one weekend he enjoyed the few words you spoke to each other.

If he was more confident in the way you felt about him, he probably would’ve messaged to ask if you needed anything bringing but he thought that it would’ve been a little bit odd. Hopefully in the future it wouldn’t be as odd.

“You can’t eat your chips yet, buddy, they’re too hot.” Harry explains, picking a couple of the chips from Theo’s plate and blowing on them. The young boy sat and watched his father, waiting for his chips before chewing them happily.

“Oh! Harry!”

You’re stood with a drink in your hand, jeans and a floral blouse hanging loosely upon your figure. You looked cute and cuddly, something that Harry had missed seeing over the past week or so.

“Hi YN.” He smiles, wiping his mouth with his napkin momentarily, “How are you feeling?”

“Much better, thank you very much.” You smile.

“Would you like to sit?” He asks, motioning to the spare seat, “You don’t have to if you’re busy or anything.”

“No. I would love to. Are you okay with that Theo?”

For the first time since you’ve arrived the little boy looks up at his eyes immediately light up at the sight of you stood there.

“Miss YN!”

“I’m guessing he’s okay with it.” Harry smiles, watching as you pull out the seat and seat and sit down. “You weren’t in a rush, were you?”

“No.” You smile, sipping on the hot cocoa you had just bought, “I had just finished for the day actually. Did a bit of shopping and then decided to walk over here.”

“Sounds lovely. Anything exciting?”

“If fruit and veg is exciting, then exciting.”

“Hey, take it from me, trying to make fruit and veg exciting for your kids is the most exciting thing about fruit and veg.”

“Not a fan?” You ask, looking at the young boy who had started to munch on his chicken nuggets.

“Not really. Can you not tell?”

You laugh, looking at Theo’s plate which just had chips and chicken nuggets on with a blob of ketchup on the side.

“He seems to be enjoying those?”

“Oh god yeah.” Harry laughs, “He can eat for England. Takes after me in that sense.”

“That’s good. Some parents sometimes come in saying that their children don’t eat and it’s worrying them.”

“He went through a phase when he turned around two and a half of not eating but he rectified that very quickly himself.”

“That’s good? Have you had work today?”

It was only then that you had noticed his attire. Jean flares and a shirt that said something about eating honey. On anyone else you it would’ve set warning alarms within your head but he made it look suave and quite attractive.

“No. I have weekends off so I can spend them with Theo. I sometimes do a bit of work from home but not a lot, do you?”

“Sometimes. If there’s an emergency I’ll sometimes have to go in.”

“Is it hard? Do you find working with vulnerable children hard?”

“Challenging, I’d say. Maybe not hard. Some of the things that have happened to the children to cause them to behave the way they do are hard to listen to. Trying to get them to talk or just explain how they feel is even harder.”

“You do God’s work, YN.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I hate the though of children suffering, and I’d like to think I do my best to help with that.”

“You do. From experience you do.”

“You’re forever feeding my ego. I kind of like it, keep it coming.”

“Eh.” He curves his lips and moves his head from side to side, “You’re not that bad to look at either.”

“Cheeky! But you’re not too bad yourself, Styles.”

“Daddy!” Theo interrupts, “Toilet, please.”

“Okay bud.” Harry stands up and so do you, “You don’t have to go, I’ll be back in a minute.”

“No it’s okay, I probably should leave.” You smile, “I told Norman that I’d only been ten minutes and that was half an hour ago.”

“Norman?”

“My dog! God, I probably should’ve specified that. Norman’s my dog.”

“Ah.” Harry laughs, “That makes more sense. I’ll see you later YN.”

“Bye Harry.”

When you got home that night, you see the majority of the time sat staring at your phone whilst Norman stares at you as though you’ve gone crazy.

“I should just text him.” You sound crazy talking to your job but it is oddly comforting, “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Hi Harry! It was lovely seeing you and Theo today. I hope you had a lovely rest of your day :)

You immediately regretted sending the message. Would he think you were weird? Had you just ruined any chance you had of it going any further? Your stomach twisted and your phone lit up.

We did thank you, YN. I hope Norman wasn’t too mad that we kept you out longer than expected. H.

You giggled. He remembered.

He got over it pretty quickly. Gave him a treat and everything was back to normal.

That’s good. It’s a good thing dogs are forgiving creatures.

Rather I bribed him to forgive me. He can be stubborn when he wants to be.

I think you might be describing my son. He certainly didn’t get his stubborn side from me.

Good. I would hate to have to bribe you to speak to me.

Well that depends what you would have bribed me with. But hopefully you’ll never be in the bad books.

You seem to have very high expectations of me, Styles. I might just surprise you.

I’m going to hold you to that. The next time I see you I expect to be surprised.

Are you free any time soon?

Not until next weekend really. I finish work at five-ish everyday.

Is there any chance that you’d maybe want to do something after work? I can hopefully surprise you?

I’d like that very much. Tuesday okay?

Perfect! See you then, Harry.

Sweet dreams, YN.

Tuesday couldn’t come quick enough in your eyes. You were pleasantly surprised that you’d even managed to bag yourself a date with the man, usually you’d shy away from the male species as much as possible. That didn’t mean that you didn’t spend the entire time messaging Harry the other day with warm cheeks and a fuzzy tummy. The fact that he could’ve thrown everything back into your face being the thing that scared you the most.

You had messaged Harry last night that you were going to a restaurant, not a fancy one but one that required a smart/casual dress code. You spent probably a little too long getting ready, curling your hair and applying the make up you wore too perfection, dressing in some high-waisted trousers with a long-sleeved tucked in to reserve the warmth that the British summertime had selfishly taken away.

You had hundred’s of thoughts bouncing around in your brain. It wasn’t everyday that you bagged a date with the man of your dreams and even if it didn’t work out — at least you could say that it had happened. If it didn’t work out it was probably a good thing that Theo had started to make the move from your group to your friend’s to avoid uncomfortable confrontation.

The reservation at the restaurant was for eight, so you had arranged to meet there for around politely declined. The drive was quick but the wait for Harry seemed to take hours.

When he did arrive, your breath caught within your throat. He was wearing simple dress pants with a silk floral shirt tucked in, the first couple of buttons undone. It revealed tattoos that you were shocked to see that he had upon his chest and stomach. It intrigued you to know whether he had more tattoos. A part of really wanted to see them.

“Hi.” He smiles and wraps his arms around you in a welcoming hug. He smelt really good.

“Hi.”

“You look lovely.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Styles.”

“Shall we go in?” You nodded.

The table reserved for the two of you was small but lovely, located in the corner of the restaurant by the floor to ceiling windows. You had been to this Italian plenty of times in the past and it had become one of your favourites. As you sat down, you had ordered a bottle of wine to share between the two of you.

“Is that your first surprise?” He asked as the two you tapped your glasses together in cheers, “Drinking on a work night?”

“It’s a special occasion.” You shrug, “You’ll have to figure out yourself whether it’s part of the surprise or not.”

He raised his eyebrow at you before he broke into a smile.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

The waiter comes a few ticks after that, asking what we would like. I order a bowl of pasta whilst Harry orders a pizza of some sort.

“How was Theo when you left him today?” You started to tuck into the bread and dips that the waiter had brought as an appetiser.

“Absolutely fine. I’ve never seen someone so exciting to spend time with their grandmother.”

“Weekend’s with my Grandma were the shit!” You exclaim with a smile, “We used to bake and she’d cook me all of my favourite dinners.”

“You were spoilt rotten, to say the least?”

“Of course I was! That’s how little Theo is feeling.”

“Are you close to your family?”

“Yeah I am. More so my Mum and Grandma. I don’t really have the best relationship with my Dad.”

He nods, “My mum and Dad divorced when I was young so I was brought up my Mum. She remarried when I was nineteen.”

You hummed, “Are you close with your stepfather?”

“I was.” Harry coughed to clear his throat, “He died in 2017.”

You immediately felt bad.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

He stops the sip of his drink quick, “You haven’t, I promised. How are we supposed to get to know each other if you don’t ask questions?”

“We sort dived right into the deep shit straight away.” You laughed, “Quick fire questions: favourite band?”

“I honestly couldn’t pick one.”

“Well.” You sighed, “I tried but that answer was boring. Pick one!”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs, his smile growing, “I love Fleetwood Mac, The Zombies, The Kinks—”

“Basically anything from the past?”

“Pretty much.” He laughed, “I grew up listening to Shania Twain and Joni Mitchell with my mum.”

“I would’ve loved to have that childhood.” You laughed, “My mum was all for Bon Jovi, Meatloaf and Prince. Always said ‘I could’ve been a rock chick’.”

He laughs and sips his drink.

The conversation for the rest of the evening flowed better than you could have expected. You honestly don’t think you’ve ever been on such a lovely date before in your life, if you could even call it that.

You learnt about his childhood living in Holmes Chapel whilst he learnt about yours. You hadn’t expected to enjoy his company so much and even as the night came to a close you found yourself not wanting to leave.

“I must admit.” He starts as her walks you towards your car, “I was quite disappointed when you said I couldn’t pick you up.”

“Why was that?”

“Because I’m not able to drive you home, walk you to your door and hopefully give you a little something to remember me for the night.”

“Really? Who said that I would have let you?”

“You wouldn’t have?”

“I don’t know.” You tease, “Why don’t you come over and try?”

The smile on his face as he leaned in is something that will haunt your dreams at night for the better. Your eyes flutter closed and sigh in content as his lips touch yours. It was a little embarrassing, but there had been a few moments late at night where you have wondered what this would feel like. Those were enjoyable dreams but the real this was so much better.

No tongue was involved but you already knew that this was something you could become addicted to. The feeling of his large palm against your cheek as his kissed any worry you had away from the night. Your whole body tingled and if you weren’t in a public car park, you wouldn’t know whether you’d be able to contain yourself.

You both pull away breathlessly.

“I think you would’ve let me.”

“I certainly fucking would.”

If Harry had any other option — he would’ve taken it in a heartbeat.

When Harry had woke up this morning, he had expected it to be like his normal Monday morning. Waking up early and making breakfast whilst Theo sleep in. Then he’d wake Theo up to have breakfast and then Harry would dress him for the day.

That hadn’t happened this morning.

When Harry had walked into Theo’s room that morning he found his son, already awake with tears streaming down his face. He tried to comfort his son, and tried to get him to talk but he just didn’t stop crying.

That’s how he ended up stood in the corner of his son’s room with his phone pressed tightly to his ear.

“Harry? Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, well uh, not really.” He scratches the back of his neck, “There’s something wrong with Theo.”

“Is he okay?”

“No. I came into his room this morning and he’s non-stop crying and he won’t talk to me.”

“I’m on my way.”

You drove as fast as you could. The sound of Harry’s voice, mixed with his words and the faint sniffles in the background was enough to send your heart spiralling. You used the message that Harry had sent with address to navigate your way towards his house.

Doors unlocked.

You raced your way up the stairs, taking two at a time and saw Harry waiting at the top of the stairs.

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” You squeezed his arm in reassurance, “Is he in there?”

“Yeah.”

Then you saw him. The small boy with the brown curly hair and the green eyes that matched his Father’s peering up at you, small sobs leaving his lips.

“Hi bud.” You smile, “Is it okay if I sit down?”

The small boy nods and you do so, a small sigh escaping your smiling lips.

“Your Daddy phoned and said you were feeling a little upset this morning and asked if I could come and talk to you. Is that okay?”

He nods again, sniffling slightly.

“Is there anything you want to tell me?”

He shakes his head.

“Can you tell me why you’re crying?”

“Dream.” His chest heaves up and down.

“Did you have a bad dream?” A nod. Okay, you could work with that.

You hadn’t realised that Harry was stood at the door, leant against the frame with his eyebrows furrowed and his thumb running across his lip. He honestly wouldn’t know what he was going to do if you hadn’t been so lovely and come to check on Theo at such short notice.

“Was your dream about Daddy?” Another nod.

It honestly broke Harry’s heart. He had never ever though that something like this was the reason his son had gotten himself into such a state.

“Have you been having a lot of these dreams?” Nodding. So much nodding, “Are they scaring you?”

“Daddy hurt.” His voice was so quiet and unsteady.

“Daddy gets hurt?” Your palms start sweating, “Is that why you’re so upset? And you go quiet sometimes? You think Daddy’s going to get hurt?”

“I’m right here Theo.” Harry walks over and drops down to be face to face with his son, “I’m not hurt, and I’m not going to hurt.”

“You don’t move.” He cries become louder and louder the more they spoke.

Harry leans over and pulls his son off the bed, dropping him onto his lap and wrapping his arms tightly around him. You watch as Harry smooths his hand across his son’s back, hoping that it will calm him down and stop the crying. Harry’s catch yours and your heart physically breaks for him. You’d never seen anything like this in your four year career.

“Listen to this, bud.” Harry wipes his tear stained face briefly, “How about we take today off nursery and work and we’ll spend the day together.”

Theo nods and you smile, gently standing up and removing yourself from the situation. For the first time you can look at Harry’s house. It was exactly how you had pictured it to be — immaculately designed with a splash of Theo in ever corner. You drop down upon the sofa with a sigh and use your hand to try to rub the fatigue away from your face. You hadn’t had a morning like this in a long time.

Twenty minutes or so later, Harry joins you on the sofa with a deep sigh.

“How is he?”

“He’s asleep right now. I laid with him and he drifted off.”

“That’s good.”

He reaches over to grab your hand that was comfortably rested upon your thigh, threading his fingers nicely between your own.

“I’m sorry for calling so early. I know you were probably busy and this didn’t help.”

“It’s okay.” You give his hand another squeeze, “I told you that I’d help in any way that I could.”

“I know.” He nods, his voice starting to break, “It’s just so fucking hard YN.”

“Hey, don’t cry.” You move so that you can wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a comforting hug, “I know it is but we can sort this out, I promise.”

“Just knowing that this was because he has been worried about me. What kind of parent does that?”

“I want you to listen to me now, Harry.” You place your hands upon his cheeks, pulling his head up from your shoulder so that he’s looking directly at you, “You have done nothing wrong. This was completely out of your control.”

He nods and you wipe the tear that had fallen down his cheek away.

“I’m going to help you now and we’re going to get Theo better.”

He leans forward and to your surprise places a deep kiss to your lips.

“Thank you.”

Harry had invited you over as a thank you a couple of days later. You had told him multiple times that he didn’t have to thank you for anything and that you’d do anything for him and Theo but he insisted. Theo was still next door with Mrs. West after being picked up from nursery and she made it complete aware that she didn’t mind watching him for a few extra hours so that he could do this for his friend.

If Harry was honest, he doesn’t have many friends. Mrs. West has spoken to him about it on many occasions and he supposed that the old woman was just excited that he might actually have a friend that wasn’t herself or his son.

You had arrived at Harry’s house to see the dining room set out with plates and cutlery and wine glasses with delicious smell coming from the kitchen. He greeted you with a soft kiss upon the lips and a small hug.

“Has Theo been okay?” You ask, leaning against the counter as you watch Harry fry the vegetables for the stir fry.

“He’s been better. He’s been talking a little more according to to the teachers.” He starts to plate up the noodles, “For the first couple of nights he stayed in bed with me, as you suggested but last night he stayed in his own.”

“Did it go okay?” The two of you walk with full plates to the dining room.

“There were a few tears but he slept through the night.”

You honestly couldn’t have been happier for the two of them. You have worked with the two of them for a couple of months and now finding out that things were actually starting to work left you feeling happier than you had ever expected to be.

“That’s really good. I’m happy for you.”

Before you knew it the time had escaped from the two of you. Somehow, you had made your way to the sofa and now sat with large glasses of red wine in your hands.

“Are you sure you don’t need to get Theo?”

It was nearing seven, and you started to worry.

“If I go now he’ll probably kill me.” He laughs, “Mrs. West brings out the sweet treats around this time.”

You giggle and lean forward to capture your lips upon his. His hand reaches up to cup your cheek, the other resting lightly upon her thigh. In one confident movement, you shift your body so that your knees are either side of his hips. A part of you still couldn’t believe that this was happening, not only with anyone but with Harry.

This had all happened quicker than you had expected but you weren’t complaining.

“YN.” He pulls away breathlessly, “Hey, are you sure?”

“God yes.”

“Okay then.’

He skilfully picks you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you towards his bedroom. You land upon the bed with a small thud that causes you both to giggle. He presses his lips to yours one last time in a breath-taking, heart-stopping kiss.

“Move up.” You shuffle your bum up the bed so that your head is rested upon the lush pillows. Harry’s fingers toy with the zipper of your jeans, his eyes looking for any sign of uncomforted on your face, “This okay?”

You nod quickly, “It is.”

He sighs shakily, his fingers slipping into the band of your jeans, pulling them down your legs. You lift your hips up to aid him in the movement. At this point you were glad that a day ago you hd decided to have a pamper session and shave your entire body.

His lips place small kisses along the inside of your thighs, your body withering under his touch. It had been a long time since someone had touched you in this way, and your senses felt as though they were on override.

“Harry.” The small moan escapes your lips as he licks a stripe along your clothed centre.

“God.” He hooks his fingers into the material and pulls them down your legs, “You’re so fucking wet.”

You hum as his lips wrap around your clit, your chest heaving up and down as he uses his tongue to flick the sensitive nub over and over again. This had all happened so quickly and you felt so overwhelmed that you had no idea if you were going to last very long at all.

“Fuck.” You moan, “Harry.”

“That’s it.” He murmurs against your centre, giving your clit a few kitten licks afterwards, “Say my name again.”

“Harry.”

He suckles on your clit so quickly that you’re left breathless, your fingers threading through his curly brown hair. You tug on it causing a groan to escape his lips against you, sending your orgasm rushing in.

“M’coming.” Your chest heaves, “Fuck, baby.”

Harry pulls away after coaxing you through your high, his lips and chin glistening with your juices. He licks what he can before lifting up so that you can kiss him. He drops down, his head falling into your neck and for the first time you can feel him against your exposed thigh.

“Do you want me to help?’

“No.” He smiles, pushing your hair away from your face, “Tonight was a thanks to you. Hopefully there will plenty more opportunities for you to repay me in the future.”

“I’m excited for that.”

“Daddy?” The little voice wakes the two of you up from your slumber, “Miss. YN?”

“Hiya buddy.” Harry’s quick to pick the little boy up and drop him in the middle of the two of you, “Did you have a good sleep?”

Theo hums and cuddles into his Dad’s chest, “Morning Miss. YN.”

“Morning Theo.” You smile, “I’ve told you before, you can call me just YN.”

You and Harry had started to see each other frequently since the last date and very recently, in the past few days or so you’ve both made the jump of having sleepovers. With Theo it made it difficult for Harry to stay over at yours so you stayed over at Harry’s — not that you minded one bit.

“Okay, YN.” He smiles, leaning forward to place a kiss to Harry’s dimpled cheek.

“What do you fancy doing today bud? If you ask nicely YN might be able to stay with us today.”

“Really?” His eyes widen in excitement.

“Of course.” You smile and ruffle his hair, “But it’s your day, what do you want to do?”

“Can we go to the cinema?” You both nod, seeing as though that’s a very doable request from the little man.

“What do you want to go see?”

“Frozen 2 please, daddy.”

“Of course.” Harry kisses his cheek and your heart swells at the sight.

Theo sat the entire time in the cinema contently chewing on his popcorn as his eyes never left the screen. Harry’s hand was firmly grasped within yours and you both repeatedly picked it up to kiss the back of each other’s. It was the simple gestures that drew you to Harry in the first place, from that very first day at the centre.

“Did you enjoy it?” You both have one of Theo’s hands in yours, swinging him up as you walk along the pavement.

“Yes Daddy.” He beams.

“What do you fancy doing now? Fancy a McDonalds?”

“Can I have an ice cream, please?”

“Of course, baby.”

It was rare that you and Harry managed to get a night alone with each other, but this specific Saturday night Anne had offered to take Theo and the two of you weren’t complaining. It had been two or so months since your relationship grew from being professional into something more and you were yet to fully consummate your relationship.

You did other things, of course, in the dead of night when Theo was fast asleep. You were both just uncomfortable with the idea of having sex and reaching that last level of intimacy whilst he was in the other room.

The thought physically made you shudder.

“Are you hungry, baby?”

“I could eat.” You respond, sitting across from Harry as he scrolls through his phone whilst leaning upon the kitchen island.

“Pizza?”

You scoff, “Is that even a question?”

Once the delivery of your pizza’s arrive, you don’t think you’ve ever seen someone inhale a pizza as quickly as Harry did. He even ended up eating a slice of your own.

Cleaning up was easy and before you knew anything, you were both changing and getting ready for bed. It was at this point you could go through the plan that you’d created a week or so ago when you learnt that this day would be happening.

You dressed yourself in delicate white lingerie that would have anyone swooning and dropping to their knees. You tousled your hair, applied some lip balm to your lips and walk out to the bedroom.

“Fucking hell.” He drops his phone onto the bed beside him, “Where have you been keeping that?”

“It’s one of the surprises I always ramble on about.”

“Totally worth it.” He throws his hands up and makes grabby movements towards you which you give in to.

His arms wrap around you waist and pull you down so you could press your lips to his. There was something different within the air today and you could both feel it.

“You wanna feel me?”

“Always.”

His fingers reach up to unclasp your bra, dropping the lace material to the floor as you clamber upon his lap. His lips wrap around your pebbled nipples, the feeling of his swirling tongue earning breathy moans to escape your lips.

“Sensitive?”

“Just finished my period.”

“Ah.” You thread your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly.

You drop to your knees, looking up at him through your eyelashes as you use your hand to palm him through his boxers. You place two kisses to each of the ferns, another one at the top of his happy trail before you hook your fingers into the material of his briefs, pulling them down as he lifted his hips to help.

This wasn’t your first rodeo with Harry’s dick, but that didn’t mean that you became any less nervous every time you saw it.

“Are you just going to stare?”

“I’m contemplating?”

“Contemplating what?”

“Whether or not you deserve me to suck your dick. Leave me to it, baby.”

He shuts his mouth the second to place one kitten lip to his base, your eyes watching as his stomach heaves up and down at the feeling. Wrapping your lips around the tip, you start to bob your head up and down, using your spit to ease yourself into it. Harry’s hand reaches out to grip your hair, guiding your head up and down but making sure to not go too far.

“You’re amazing. Fuck, YN baby.”

You use the free hand that wasn’t aiding you by jerking the length that you couldn’t take to squeeze his thigh, right by his tiger once before allowing your finger to rub over your sensitive nub through your panties, allowing any sort of friction to be released.

“Gotta stop baby.” He gently pushes you off of him, your mouth releasing him with a pop, “Need to last for you.”

Once you’re stood up he pulls your panties down your legs, watching as you step out of them. You both switch positions so that you’re laid on top of the plush comforter whilst Harry fumbles through his bedside table, taking a foil packet out.

Your eyes never leave him as he gives himself a few tugs before rolling the condom on, giving you a once over before bending down.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He questions once and you nod, muttering confirmation as he moves to hover above you.

You feel a little discomfort at first, probably due to how long it had been since you last had sex.

“Move, Harry.”

“M’kay.”

His lips are on yours again as he starts to move his hips, finding his rhythm as he thrusts in and out of you. You whine into his mouth whilst he groans into yours, the feeling becoming all too unbearable for the two of you.

“Feel so good, H. So big, so full.”

The chuffed face he pulled as he continued to thrust his hips to yours, his lips wrapping around your nipple briefly was enough for you to fall for him again.

“M’gonna come, baby.”

“I know, H, me too.”

He slipped his hand down between you both to use his fingers to rub your sensitive bundle of nerves, sending you over the edge. A long moan of his name leaves your lips, your back arches and your eyes start to water.

“That’s it. Fuck! Squeezin’ me so tight.”

He moans as he comes, spilling into the condom whilst his movements halt inside of you.

He head drops forward upon your shoulder, the two of you masking in the overwhelming thing your had just experienced.

“There’s no one else I ever want to do that with.”

“Looks like you’re stuck with me, then.”

“YN.” Theo catches your attention as you wash both of your hands after the painting session you had both just had, “Are you my new Mummy?”

Your movements halt as you look down at the little boy, his features becoming more and more like Harry’s everyday.

You look up to Harry who’s stood drying his hand a couple of metres away, a goofy smile present on his lips as he nods at you.

“If you want me to be Theo, but are you sure?”

“I love you, YN.”

“I love you too, now go dry your hands.”

Harry passes him the towel to dry his hands which he does with little no disagreement.

“Are you going to go turn the TV on whilst Daddy talks to Mummy?”

The words felt odd leaving his lips, but a good kind of odd. You watch as he leaves the bathroom and bounds towards the living room.

You wrap your arms around Harry and sigh contently into his chest.

“I can’t believe he just said that.”

“I can. There’s no one else I’d want to be his mother.”

You stand on your tip toes to kiss his lips once.

“I love you, Harry.”

“I love you too.”

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff #single dad!harry #therapist!yn #harry styles writing

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dapandapod · 4 years ago

Text

Child of surprise

So my darling gremling @geogrewife were supposed to help me pick a Wip to work on but made me write this instead. Please enjoy! On Ao3 here

Warning: fluff. so much fluff. Like, fluffy fluff.

“Somethings wrong with Roach.” Geralt frowns at Jaskiers words. They have been staying in a cottage all winter, deep in the forest away from prying eyes. They found it when the first hint of gold appeared in the trees, and they decided that this is a good a place as any. It has been restful. No big bad monsters around, just the normal inhabitants. Roach has been away a lot, roaming the forest but always returning unharmed at nightfall. The cottage didn’t have a stable so they simply made a new door to the cottage, making a pen out of one of the corners. Geralt can be a handyman when it comes to the comforts of Roach and Jaskier relentlessly teases him about it. This is one of those nights they spend in peace, wind whistling among the trees and hard rain falling on the roof. “No?” Geralt protests, because he can see nothing wrong with her? And he is clearly the superior horseman out of the two. “Uh, yes? Geralt, I know I know very little of horses but something is clearly different? Can’t you tell?”

Geralt puts down his gwent cards and gets up from the wooden chair he sat on. Roach is ignoring him, munching on her hay in her corner, resting one hind leg as she does when she is relaxed. He walks up to her, hand on his chin and eyes squinting. He looks her over but sees nothing obvious, so he focuses, letting all other sounds fade away. Geralt rarely uses his witcher senses on her, but she smells like usual? He senses no wounds, no pain, nothing sticking out. Her fur is all shaggy now in wintertime, but that’s about it. “I can’t see anything.” Geralt mutters, returning to the table. “Did you look at my cards?” Jaskier scoffs. “I don’t need to look at your cards to win. Just. Let’s keep an eye on her?”

Time passes slowly. Winter is dark, and every day Roach wanders the woods. Geralt is out hunting for dinner but stumbles on her tracks among the trees. He is very far away, he wasn’t aware Roach made such long trips. He suspects Jaskier might be right. Something is off with Roach. She is getting slower, sometimes in the mornings her legs get a little swollen. Geralt massages her and tries to keep her warm and well fed but he will not be in the way when she wants out. But it’s probably time to see what she is up to. It seems like this stretch is well walked, many hoofprints covering the ground in both directions. Geralt follows her tracks and stops mid step when he notices where they lead. Up ahead is a clearing, a frozen creak glistening in the sunlight, snow heavy on the branches. It looks magical. On the other side of the clearing stands Roach. Only, she is not alone. Next to her stands a white horse. So white it almost can’t be seen against the snow. It has long white mane with grey streaks and the body is powerful. And it’s a unicorn. The horn is long, sharp. Dangerous. The unicorn could easily kill Roach with it. But it doesn’t. They are standing peacefully next to each other, her dark fuzzy fur a stark contrast. They use their muzzles to push away the snow to get to the grass underneath. Geralt barely dares to move, barely dares to breathe. As far as he knew there were no unicorns left. Obviously he was wrong, and it has taken a liking to his Roach. Geralt tries to back away quietly, stepping into his own footsteps, so that he doesn’t startle them. But the unicorn must sense him, his head shoots up and then runs away. Roach startles and looks around, but when she sees Geralt she relaxes. Well. “Hi girl.” He greets her. “Uh… sorry. I didn’t mean to startle your... friend?” Oh. Ooooh. That’s why she’s been away so much. That’s why there was more than one set of hoofprints. Probably. He wonders how long they have met out here in the woods, and he feels oddly protective of her. Roach makes no effort to walk up to him so he leaves her there in the clearing.

When he returns to Jaskier some time later, two winterbirds under his arm, he realizes Jaskier was right. He kicks his boots on the doorframe on the way in, ridding himself of most of the snow. “You were right.” He calls as a greeting, and Jaskier hits a sour note on his lute. “‘Scuse me?!” Jaskiers eyes are huge, startled. “Did you hit your head while hunting?!” Geralt chuckles and hangs up his outer clothes. “You were right about Roach. There is something up with her.” “OH! Yes, I told you so! You know what it is?” Geralt settles down to pluck the birds. “Yeah. She has met someone.” Jaskier picks up his playing again, plucking on the strings in a soft melody. “Oh really? Are there more horses in the woods? Or a nymph perhaps?” “Unicorn actually.” Again, Jaskier makes a sour note on the lute and Geralt cringes at the sound. “Sorry, but. Did you just say you saw a fucking unicorn?!?” Jaskier gapes, not believing a word he hears. “Yeah. It got scared of me though and ran away.” “THIS IS WHY I NEED TO COME WITH YOU GERALT!!!” Jaskier abruptly stands up from his chair, dragging a hand through his hair. “I MISSED A UNICORN!” Geralt smiles again, fingers still working on their upcoming dinner. “You will never let me out of your sight again, are you?” Geralt says fondly and Jaskier huffs. “You are absolutely right!” He plops back in the chair again but lets his lute hang from his hand and rests on the floor. “I can’t believe this.” “Don’t pout. I’ll bring you with me in a few days.”

And so he does. They let Roach get a headstart of a few hours, but it takes two months before they see it again. By then Roach has eaten through a third of their collected hay for the winter. Her legs are still swollen and her back seems to sink a little. Geralt is starting to suspect he knows what is wrong with her.

They follow her to the clearing, this time walking with her instead of sneaking behind. They see her go about her usual routine, scraping a hole in the stream to drink and them starting to push the snow around. It takes almost an hour before she raises her head and she whinnies towards the woods. There is a deep rumbling neigh in return. And there he is. He trots up to her, his neck curved and tail raised.

Because it is a he, Geralt realizes. A stallion. And there is nothing wrong with Roach. She is with foal.

Beside him Jaskier draws in a breath, mouth open with awe. It’s like a picture from a fairytale, the snow glistening, the world holding its breath. The unicorn nuzzles her thick fur, and they start scratching each other's backs. Next to him Geralt can hear Jaskier sniffle, and he is not far away from breaking a tear himself. The unicorn sees them, ignoring Roach buffing his side to continue, and stares. Geralt really, really hopes he won't attack. He is not sure he would be able to flee it, and that would mean fighting it. Luckily it seems to decide they are no threat and turns away. The two horses go back to inspecting the other and then walk off into the woods without a backwards glance. Jaskier and Geralt stay in the clearing for a while longer, breaths as clouds in front of them.

“Wow.” Jaskier finally manages, wiping at his eyes with his ungloved hands. “Too bad I can never sing about this.” he smiles, blinking up at the afternoon skies. Geralt sees the reasoning in that too. The moment rumors of a unicorn comes out there will be people hunting it. He takes Jaskiers freezing hands in his and leads them back towards the cottage.

When the first spring flowers peak through the snow Roach is heavy. It’s clear they won’t be going anywhere for a while. So they prepare to stay for even longer. Geralt leaves for two weeks, trekking towards the closest village. They need more supplies and food, and getting there by foot and back is going to take some time. To Jaskiers surprise (and Geralt's despair) he returns through a portal, Yennefer close behind. She stays for a few weeks, cooing at Roach like she never had before, lovingly petting her down and spoiling her absolutely rotten.

She comes back in the middle of summer. Because it’s time. During the night Roach is restless. She walks around outside the cottage, snorting and panting. Geralt, always the light sleeper wakes up and goes out to her. There is no need for her to sleep indoors during this time of year, and she leads him towards her clearing. It takes another hour for her to lay down, and by then both Jaskier and Yen found him by her side. Roaches sides are slick with sweat, and the small hoofs sticking out from her are just as brown as she is. Geralt wasn’t sure what to expect of this foal, if it would be white or brown. But it would seem that it’s brown. When the first early rays of sunshine filter through the leaves the foal, a little stallion, takes its first steps. His eyes are pale blue, his body a dark brown like his mother, and his mane a shade paler. There is no sign of a horn and Geralt can’t decide if he is relieved or disappointed.

They stay for some time longer, making sure Roach is alright before retreating back a bit. By now they have learned the unicorns habits a little better. Geralt and Jaskier double back to the cottage to bring some breakfast back. Jaskier squeeze his hand all the way there, and when they get inside the door Jaskier pulls Geralt close. He smiles at Geralt, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Why do I feel like a proud parent?” He asks and Geralt chuckles. He couldn’t agree more.

Jaskier decides to name the foal Pegasus. The little thing is feisty, he nips after them even though he doesn’t have any teeth yet. He kicks and he bucks and he flies over the grass. His father didn’t come on the first day, nor the second. But when he comes there is a full show of sniffing and buffing. When Roach thinks he is too rough on Pegasus she steps between them, ears slicked back and teeth on display. She turns around and half heartedly kicks at the unicorn and Geralt swells with pride. When they calm down Pegasus tries to imitate his parents, doing his best with his short neck to bend down towards the grass. He can’t quite reach and stumbles. “I can stay here for hours.” Yen says softly, a soft smile on her lips. Geralt knows how she feels.

And they do. They stay for hours and hours to watch Pegasus and Roach, sometimes around the cottage and sometimes in the clearing. Still no horn in sight, just a small bump in the middle of his forehead. Pegasus seems to have taken a great liking to Jaskier. Whenever the bard sits in the grass, leaning back on the wooden wall with his lute, Pegasus scampers over to inspect. He pulls at his clothes, steals his expensive hat and tries to nibble at the lute.

They talk about what they should do. Yennefer comes and goes, unable to stay away from the little menace of a foal. She claims she wish to study him, if he got any magical abilities, but they all know better.

Perhaps they will make their way towards Kaer Morhen. The area isn’t perhaps the safest for a horse, but at least there won’t be any prying eyes in case Pegasus actually shows any abilities. Jaskier speaks of the coast again, and about Lettenhove. Traveling with a foal however is not the safest nor the most practical thing. But the summer is still young.

They have time.

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thetomorrowshow · 4 years ago

Text

Slower Than Words Epilogue

First - Previous

Yep, this is it :’’’( The very end. I most certainly teared up a bit while writing it. Thank you all so much for reading, sharing, and commenting. I still have trouble believing how many people actually like my writing, but you all have never dropped your support. I really mean it when I tag ‘love you guys’ on every chapter.

If you want to see any of my other works, Here is my AO3!

Thank you again for sharing this journey with me. And now, on to the finale!

cw: flashback from an outsider’s pov, food

“Everything’s fine? The move went well?”

“Dad, we’re fine,” Patton replied, smiling at the camera. Logan shifted uncomfortably on the other end. “Really, we’re good. The neighbors even brought over some banana bread.”

His father flinched at the mention of neighbors, then forced a smile onto his face. “That’s . . . very kind. Of them. To do that.”

“Yes, it is,” Patton encouraged.

Logan hadn’t been able to take enough time off work to come visit them yet, so it had been five months since they had seen each other in person. They video chatted every day, but Father always seemed on edge. As time passed, he didn’t appear to be getting much better at all with the distance. Remus would sometimes sit in on the calls, and he seemed happy with Father’s progress, but Patton couldn’t help but compare him to the man he’d grown up with. Where was the quiet strength, the soft smiles, the feeling of protection?

Patton didn't blame him, though. They had all changed. It was part of life, and growing, and learning. Nothing stayed the same, and that was okay.

“How are you and Virgil?” Father asked, as he always did. Patton laughed a little.

“We’re good,” Patton signed. “I told you that we’re doing therapy together, right?” Logan nodded. Patton nodded as well. “Yeah, it’s cheaper. And we’re learning a lot.”

“And no fights between the roommates?”

“We . . . we did just move in yesterday.”

Logan raised his eyebrows. “Well, there are four of you,” he signed. “Who knows?”

“Since it’s only two bedrooms, Remus and Roman have decided to share too,” Patton told him, “but Virgil and I are pretty sure that won’t last long. They have a deal to trade between the bed and the air mattress every other week, but Virgil thinks it won’t even be one week before one of them drags the air mattress into the living room.”

The room shook a bit and Patton looked up to see Virgil closing the front door behind him. He kicked off his shoes and propped his white cane up in the corner behind the door, before turning his head from this way to that, listening.

“I’m on the couch,” Patton called out. Father jumped at the sound of his voice, but tried to play it off as straightening his collar.

Virgil waved in the direction of the couch, then promptly tripped over Roman’s dress shoes. Patton giggled when he signed a curse as well as saying it out loud.

Virgil paused by the couch, well in view of the laptop that Patton was video chatting on. Father began talking (probably a greeting) as Patton hopped up to kiss his boyfriend. Virgil smiled, said something in response to Father, then headed toward the kitchen.

Patton checked to make sure his phone was on. Remus had been the one to do the shopping, and who knew how he had thrown everything into the cupboards and fridge. It was a little after noon, so Roman would probably be home soon to help Virgil find food, but if he didn’t want to wait Virgil would take a picture of the contents of the fridge and text it to Patton so that he could tell him the locations of each thing.

“How is everything for you? Remus says he won’t hesitate to drive down there if you don’t take care of yourself.”

Logan smiled softly. “I assure you, I am quite all right,” he waved. “I am even attending therapy.”

“That’s—” Patton dropped his hands as he glanced back at his phone, which had just buzzed. The notification wasn’t a text message, though. It was from the app that all of them had, the one that called for help. The notification was from Virgil. His heart dropped, just as it always did.

“I’ve got to go, goodbye,” Patton signed quickly. He’d closed the laptop before Father even finished his farewell. Then he was up and off to the kitchen, which luckily was only a few steps away from the living room.

Virgil was crouched on the floor, a container of food open in front of him. His hands covered his face and his whole body was trembling, tension in every line.

Patton froze for a moment, scared. What could he do? He had no idea what had triggered Virgil, or if they had any ice cubes to use to snap him out of it, or if he would even be able to bring him back by himself. But the moment of uncertainty passed, and Patton dropped to his knees beside the shaking man.

It was easy to kick the leftovers away, less easy to maneuver Virgil into his arms. Once they were sort of comfortable on the floor, Patton began tracing soothing words into Virgil’s arm. It wasn’t instant, but soon enough Virgil began to calm down, eventually breathing in a steady rhythm.

“You okay?” Patton asked quietly. Virgil shrugged, gripping his jeans as his legs continued to shake. Patton held him closer, a hand rubbing his back soothingly.

Don’t let go, Virgil wrote tremulously onto Patton’s arm.

I never will.

When Roman arrived home, slinging his backpack onto the card table that made up their dining room, he found them still that way, curled up in each other on the tiled kitchen floor. He made a mental note to later ask what had happened, quietly picked up the container of food, then retreated to his and Remus’s bedroom.

Remus pushed open their bedroom door, ready to just flop onto whichever bed was Roman’s. Lucky him, Roman was already stretched out there, a container of leftover pasta and a plastic fork beside him. He looked up from the food and smiled cautiously.

“Hey,” he said. “How was therapy?”

Remus shrugged.

Roman winced. “Is that . . . not something I’m supposed to ask about? Virgil’s usually okay with talking about it a bit, but—”

“Nah, it’s . . . whatever.” Remus dropped to the mattress on the floor, toeing off his socks. “Didn’t really say anything, but that’s group therapy for ya. Not talking doesn’t waste anybody’s time.”

Roman was quiet for a moment, and Remus glanced at him. He looked like he was thinking—always a first time for everything, Remus supposed. As soon as Remus had pulled his phone out of his pocket, Roman spoke.

“Do you think that, possibly, I could come with you? Next time?”

Okay, apparently there was a first time for everything. Remus frowned and dropped his phone, looking at the wall.

Roman was quick to backtrack. “I mean, I know that I didn’t go through all that . . . stuff . . . that you did, but . . . I don’t know. Maybe as support for you?”

“Is this still about you punching me?” Remus asked, eyes narrowed. “Because I told you, we’re cool.”

Roman shrugged awkwardly, his face turning red. “Yeah, I just want to help you in any way that I can. Also, Virgil thinks that I might be developing secondhand trauma?” he added, grimacing. “So I thought that perhaps I could benefit from it. And learn more ways to help all of you.”

“Roman, that’s. . . .” He wanted to say ‘very thoughtful’ or ‘selfless’ or ‘good thinking’. What came out of his mouth, though, was “expensive.”

Roman looked away, and now it was Remus’s turn to backtrack. “I mean, I did just get that job,” he said quickly, “and I’d love to help ya out in any way that I can. I even wouldn’t mind giving up therapy, if you think you wanna try it out. I don’t need it that bad.”

Roman laughed, and Remus relaxed fractionally. “Don’t worry,” he said, turning back to his pasta. “Mom and Dad are willing to pay for half of it, and I can cover the rest if I cut down my meal plan. After all, we’re buying plenty of food. I don’t need twenty-one meals a week.”

“You sure? After all, you’re walking an extra two blocks to campus,” Remus reminded. “You need all the strength you can get, for such a journey!”

Roman threw a pillow at him. “Shut up,” he chuckled, then frowned. “And give that back.”

Remus shoved the pillow under himself and smirked. “Too late.”

Instead of fighting for it back, Roman just smiled softly and twirled his fork in the pasta. “Yeah. That’s okay, though.”

Virgil breathed in as he woke, feeling the warmth of the sun on his arm that rested above the blankets. It wasn’t quite time to get up, then. If it was, the sunlight that filtered through the gap in their blinds would have reached his face.

He lay there for as long as he could, burrowing deeper under the blankets and into Patton’s arms. The softness of his nightshirt rubbed against his nose and cheek, and Virgil sighed contentedly. This was everything.

Yesterday’s flashback had been bad (who even gets triggered by the sound of a container opening?), but Patton had been there. Moving had been hard, but Patton had been there. Therapy was hard, but Patton was there.

It wasn’t just Patton, either. Roman was taking many of the same classes that he was, despite not needing all of them. Remus was willing to drive him just about anywhere, even to a park just to sit in silence for hours. Patton’s dad, for some reason, regularly called him to check up on him. Roman’s parents cared for him like he was another son. Even Roman’s on-and-off boyfriend, Janus, dropped by to hang out sometimes.

So, Virgil had a pretty good support group. On the days when he felt like just giving up, there was always someone to help him up. Just like he was there for the others. They all loved and supported each other, in their own ways.

Patton’s breathing shifted with a snuffle, followed by him nestling his face into Virgil’s hair. A moment later, he was tracing on Virgil’s arm.

Hey you.

Virgil didn’t even try to muffle the giggle that escaped. The ray of sun had reached his head, warming his dark hair. The alarm would be going off at any minute, but for now, he was happy to be in his boyfriend’s arms.

Date tonight? he asked, his fingers moving slowly on Patton’s arm. At the smoothie place, with Roman and Janus?

Sounds good!

Virgil placed his hands on Patton’s chest, meeting his lips for a slow kiss. When they parted, he relaxed back into his love’s arms, unabashedly snuggling. The alarm clock would have to grow arms and pry them apart to get him out of bed.

Old Virgil would have scoffed, unimpressed at his thirst for human contact. Old Virgil wanted to be alone.

As long as it was Roman, and Remus, and Mr. and Mrs. Allred, and Logan, and Janus, and Patton—wonderful, beautiful Patton—Virgil didn’t think he would mind it if he was never alone again.

~ Taglist: @enragedbees @gotta-love-alejandra @bunny222 @basiic-emo @patt0n-sanders @rosiepupper @fangirlgeekandfreak @dn-fan21 @that2000skid @remy-the-lemon-berry @itsadastraperaspera @xionbean @sanderssides-angst @hell-yea-we-gay-tonight @maybedefinitely404 @broken-pencils @thewhimsicallibrarytech @doomllily @hereissananxiousmess @judyismydog @arodynamic-enby @at-that-one-nerd @therapysides @awkwardandanxiousfander @thekitchenpan @im-an-anxious-wreck @larkiaquail @anteonnix @fantasticfander21 @007ardra

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charming-2d-boys · 4 years ago

Note

I spy with my little eye that requests just opened 👁️ can I please request first date headcanons with suguru getou 🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much 😚😚😚

YES! Thank you, anon! 🤗❤️

I've been dying to write for him! 💘

I hope you'll like it (fingers crossed since it's my first time writing for Suguru AKA baby #2 after Chrollo 🤞) 🙇

A/N: sorry for taking so long with this one, I just wanted to get it right - I hope I did - which is why it got so long 🙇

oh boy

Suguru was so nervous when he asked you out

even if he acted like he was confident

he’s had a crush on you for a while

it didn’t even matter if you were a sorcerer or not

it had… happened

not that he was against it

he finally gathered the courage to ask you to meet him if you weren’t too busy

and you had some time that day, so why not spend it with Suguru?

you met up at the convenience store where the two of you ran into each other several times

it was the closest to his high school and it was close to your place as well

your relationship and meetings went from ignoring, to glancing, to nodding in acknowledgement to finally greeting each other

by the time you actually started talking, it was clear you were already feeling like you could be friends

and probable even more, as Suguru thought about his crush on you

without knowing that you were feeling pretty much the same way

and now, here you two were, several months later

meeting where it all started

Suguru’s heart was beating like crazy when he finally saw you

he felt if it had been too long and he had honestly missed you

too many missions and too many curses, plus classes

you were like a well-deserved break

now, if only he could ask you out…

it should’ve been easy, right?

well, with Satoru and Shouko watching from the shadows, it was a little hard

even you could feel their eyes on the two of you

Suguru even knew that the moment he’d be alone with his friends, Satoru would be making fun of him

calling him a sap or whipped or whatever

he could already picture himself rolling his eyes as far as they could go

Suguru, what did you want to talk about?

Oh, umm…

man, this was hard

how should he word it?

should he ask you to hangout?

on a date?

tell you that he likes you and hope it goes naturally from there?

he could feel his cheeks flush and his thoughts spinning too fast

you were patiently waiting with a smile

it wasn’t too hard to guess what he might want to ask you, but you waited anyway

you’d probably have a hard time as well if you were in his place

you were sure of your feelings, but you wanted him to be sure as well

I… I don’t know how or when I started liking you, but I do and… well, I wanted to know if you felt the same and if you wanted to go out with me?

how could you say not to him?

he had this bashful smile and you could barely see a rose tint on the tops of his cheeks and ears – his hair was definitely not doing a good job hiding them

and when you accepted, Suguru just wanted to hug you, but held himself back and only smiled widely

he’d have an entire relationship with you to be affectionate

you spent the rest of your free time with him, despite not having much left until it got too late and you had to leave

Suguru insisted on taking you home because it was dangerous at night

and yes, Satoru made fun of him as if there was no tomorrow while Shouko looked impassive as she smoked another cigarette, waiting for the circus to be over

Suguru couldn’t care and even slapped Satoru upside the head to make him shut up, which prompted more whining

he had finally asked you out and you reciprocated his feelings

Satoru making fun of him wouldn’t ruin his night

and you were surprised to see him waiting for you in front of your door on the morning of your date

his hair was mostly in a bun – looking all soft and making you want to run your fingers through it – and he was dressed in black, which made him look even taller

as soon as he registered the sound of the door opening and you appearing, he stopped and stared at you

because you looked so good

well, you always looked good, but now it was all for him and your date

hopefully one of many

Suguru was snapped out of his reverie when you greeted him and he straightened up, taking your hand in his as the two of you started walking

his hand was warm and held yours securely – and it felt so nice and just right – as he told you about where he was taking you on your date

when you arrived to a little alleyway coffee shop, Suguru held the door open for you, helping you take your coat off and pulling the chair out for you to sit as soon as you found a free table

like a true gentleman

he could also feel his phone buzz constantly in his pocket as the two of you talked, but he barely paid it any attention

and of course, he knew it was Satoru, teasing him – he never stopped, did he?

sent him a few choice words in response when you went to the restroom

Satoru was acting all pouty and like a child being scolded

yes, he sent a selfie showing off his pout and those innocent-looking eyes

when you came back, you both continued your date

what you both knew about one another from before this date never seemed to be enough

it was fun talking about your childhoods, your friends, the places you’d visited, things you’d seen and tried

also talking about where the next date might take place

honestly, Suguru wanted to take you to so many places

even for this first date

but for now, he’d listen to you and maybe surprise you by taking you somewhere where you liked it a lot or where you wanted to go to

Suguru looked like a lovesick fool with how he was staring at you with a smile on his face and his chin in his hand

just listening to you talking and watching how you were moving your hands for emphasis

if he thought you were adorable before, you were even more so now

you’d both talked for hours and even shared some of the sweets you’d chosen while there

which were great, by the way

who knew Suguru could a get a little bit careless when he was eating something he liked?

Suguru, hold still for a little.

Hm?

his cheeks were stuffed as he slowly lifted his head, a questioning look in his wide eyes

you swore his face flushed when you wiped the side of his mouth and even the tip of his nose with your napkin

he didn’t know if he was embarrassed or crushing even harder than before

but he thanked you anyway with a barely noticeable stutter at the smile you gave him

it had been quite a few hours since you’d arrived and you both got up, with Suguru insisting on paying as you both left hand in hand

you wandered aimlessly around Tokyo, window-shopping and talking some more

none of you wanted to go home yet, so you both went to an arcade· luckily, it was still open for quite a few more hours

you both went around, looking at the games they had before deciding on a few and going to exchange some money into tokens

you tried a few racing games – where you lost by only a few points

and a few shooters – where you won this time, with Suguru pouting playfully

your favourite was probably Taiko no Tatsujin

since you barely had a few more tokens left and you both wanted to play, Suguru let you first

only to come up behind you, hugging you

Wanna play together?

since it might’ve distracted you from playing, you proposed giving him one of the drumsticks (bachi)

Good enough for me.

but his arm was still around you

oh well, he was warm and his aftershave made you want to cling even more onto him

but the game started and you both focused

while you hit the red notes (don), Suguru took the blue ones (ka)

the most fun was when you both had to hit the drum in quick, consecutive hits

Suguru would pull you into his side tighter as you felt his fingers grip both your body and the drumstick

it was so distracting, a little overwhelming and felt great at the same time

he’d never let go of you after that until the song was over

with finishing all of your tokens and having worked up quite a sweat, you both bought some drinks and left soon after

it was starting to get dark and you’d only have an hour or two left before it started getting darker

so you both took a stroll through the park

you’d pet a few dogs whose owner allowed you to

but Suguru seemed even more excited than you and the dogs would usually go to him in the end, smothering him with how much they loved the attention

you sneakily took a few photos

he noticed, but he’d done the same before the dogs came to him, so you were even

in a quieter side of the park, you found a playground

there were only a few more kids, but most of them were ready to leave – at least their parents were

the both of you sat on the swings: swinging, twirling rapidly on them as you turned in circles until the chain above couldn’t turn anymore, trying to swing higher than the other

he loved seeing that smile on your face and hearing your laughter

you both felt like children again

when the temperature dropped and the sun had almost set, you left the playground and the park, with Suguru insisting on taking you home

you both walked a little slower, not wanting the date to end so quickly

but it still wasn’t slow enough since you both reached the entrance of your home

Call me when you get home, okay?

he only nodded, smiling at the thought of getting to talk to you later

he hugged you tightly before kissing your cheek, chuckling at your slightly shocked face, as if you were caught off guard

Let’s keep the best for the next date, hm?

he wanted to kiss your lips so badly, but he wanted to take it a tad slower

he didn’t know if his heart would be able to take everything so soon

with your nod and a sigh of mock disappointment, you smiled at him as he let go, slowly leaving

the both of you were smiling widely as you both went your separate ways

and you felt even happier when you saw your new boyfriend’s number calling, signalling his arrival at his dorm

you couldn’t wait for the next date already

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #suguru #getou suguru #suguru x reader #getou suguru x reader #jjk suguru #jjk writing

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syilcawrites · 4 years ago

Note

A prompt (dunno if I should've messaged or sent a note, but eh, I'm used to asks):

Following the defeat™ of Ganon à la Link and Zelda, our favourite pair have settled in Kakariko Village for a bit as a temporary reprieve.

Then disaster strikes.

It starts with spaced-out sniffles. Then as hushed whispers come on the light snorts of a nostril attempting to impede the flow of an oncoming river of muscus. Rising to a crescendo, a throat reddens and sputters in an attempt to relieve an unending roughness that hinders speech and catches on food.

Link has the common cold.

Never has the hero felt so demeaned, so disrespected by the gods. His bones and blood and mind were forfeit the moment he drew the Sword as a child, of that he came to know and accept. But to now be impeded by snot and sebum - no affront could be greater.

So, stubborn as he is, he attempts to go on about his day, training, cooking, collecting - but, of course, fails spectacularly, his condition worsening. Looking from afar, Zelda finds that she's had enough and tends to the matter directly.

Ensue whatever great stuff you wanna write about.

TL;DR: Link gets mildly ill, worsens it by overexerting himself and Zelda has to force him to rest; magic ensues.

Sorry if that was way too detailed or exact for a prompt... I just have so many ideas of my own that I want to write but I just don't have the time right now. Sho, I'm keeping to plans aplently. ☺️

a/n: i loved this prompt and how detailed it was thank u for sending me this it was so fun to write sfauihhaifs sobs... I hope to see your writing someday!!! And hope you enjoy this lil fic (’:

ao3

to chase away a cold

It's been a little over two months since Calamity Ganon had been defeated. Paya had been kind enough to let them stay in her room for the time being, while Zelda recuperated from… well, everything. And it had been quiet around Hyrule since—the significantly decreasing amount of monster attacks had been a blessing for their short trips; they had run into little to no problems, fortunately, ever since they reunited.

But then, it started with a sound that Zelda could only affiliate with to a mouse squeak.

Her wide eyes flit to the ground, where Link was sitting atop of a futon that Paya had laid out for him. He didn't look at her as he continued shining away at his weapons, his back still facing her, pressed against the mattress of the bed Zelda was on.

She shrugged it off, resuming to mess around with the Sheikah Slate in her hands. Perhaps she was just hearing things… it wouldn't be surprising, since she hadn't officially settled into being back in her own body yet��

Zelda's ears perked up as the peculiar squeak happened again. But this time, the bed shook a little. She quickly lowered the Sheikah Slate from her view once more, her eyes narrowing.

"Link, was that you?" she asked, poking his back with her big toe.

He shook his head and shrugged.

Suspicious.

——————————————————————

The next morning, Zelda awoke at noon.

Which was, of course, normal for her. She was never an early-riser to begin with, even before the Calamity.

But Link? He was always up the moment the sun rose. She was a light sleeper, and always heard him get up, despite his best efforts to be quiet. And he never missed a day to leave a couple of fresh wildflowers in the vase next to the bed for her before she would get up to start the day.

But today, the wildflowers at the bedside had been the ones from yesterday—beginning to grow flaky and brown.

And Link was still sprawled on the futon next to the bed, obliviously sleeping away.

"Link," Zelda whispered, leaning over the bed. But he didn't budge. Weird. "Link!" Zelda leaned over a bit further to shake his shoulder. "Get up!"

"Hah?" He flinched, startling himself awake. He sniffled as he looked over at her with glazed, sleepy eyes.

"It's past noon. I thought you were going to help Cado—"

"Noon?" he gasped, scrambling up from the futon. "I told him I'd come by at eight," Link mumbled, fumbling for his tunic and trousers. "We might have to go to the Great Fairy Fountain tomorrow instead, I promised I'd help him find his cuccos today." His voice sounded a bit heavier than she remembered.

She waved her hand at him, shrugging as she stifled a yawn. "It's okay, go help him. I'm sure he's waiting." Zelda quirked an eyebrow up as he sniffled again—he was doing that a lot more recently. "If you need a hand, I can help."

"No, you're still recov—" Suddenly, Link's face contorted up in a way that she had never seen before—he whipped around and sneezed into the crook of his elbow.

"Did you catch something?" Zelda asked, shifting off of the bed to place a hand on his forehead. But with each step she took closer to him, he took one away from her as he shook his head fervently.

"I'm fine," he insisted, pulling his cloak over his shoulders, still facing away from her.

Suspicious.

——————————————————————

Zelda sat outside on the steps of Impa's home, eating pickled plum with her as the both of them watched Link run around Kakariko, trying to find Cado's precious, missing cucco's.

"It is beyond my understanding as to why Link even tries," Impa scoffed, handing Zelda the plumpest pickled plum of the batch. She still didn't have much of an appetite, but Impa had been as observant as she always was, and usually only offered Zelda bite-sized foods that she knew she wouldn't have trouble eating. "Cado loses his cuccos as least twice a month."

"Maybe we should build him a bigger fence," Zelda murmured, giggling as she watched Link wrestle with a cucco he was trying to drag over to Cado's little coop. "They wouldn't be able to fly as easily."

"Those little buggers will always find a way," Impa scoffed, shaking her head. "And—"

A loud sneeze caused the both of them to flinch—Link's well-fought battle against the cucco ultimately failed, and Zelda watched the aftermath of it with pity. He stared in defeat as it scampered away, back into the bushes.

"Link's been a little weird, hasn't he? He hadn't even stirred by the time I was awake," Zelda inquired, plopping another pickled plum into her mouth, chewing slowly. His jog was a little slower than usual, and he had to pause every five minutes to catch his breath—that never happened before.

"He's been staying up a little later than usual, hasn't he?"

Zelda nodded—he wanted to take her to several locations that were a bit further than their usual trips, so they had been mapping out the most efficient way to go about their mini excursion. While Link was an early bird, Zelda was more of a night owl… it did make sense that he would be a little off recently, with a shift in his sleeping schedule.

After he spoke to Cado, probably to apologize for not getting them all today, Link stumbled—he stumbled—a bit on his feet as he made his way to the cookpot, since dinner was just around the corner.

Suspicious.

——————————————————————

By the time Link went into the room to retire for the day, Zelda had already situated herself on the futon. She was lying on her stomach, humming, as she plotted out the last of their destinations for the upcoming trip. She craned her head to the door when she heard it creak open; he looked even worse than earlier.

"How was your bath?" Zelda asked, sitting up.

"Good…" he said, sniffling, a little confused. He pointed at her, quirking an eyebrow up.

"You're sleeping in the bed tonight—and!" Zelda pointed at the cup of tea sitting on the desk next to the bed. "You should drink this up before you go to sleep. The trip can wait until you get better."

"What do you mean? I'm fine," he muttered, rubbing his nose.

"Link, having a cold is a perfectly normal thing to catch—and you just made it worse by trying to hide it. Which you were terrible at doing, by the way." Zelda grabbed the cup and held it out to him, waiting. "Plus, I added some extra ingredients that I think could possibly increase the potency of the medicine—"

"I'm not sick," he said, shaking his head with noticeable effort. "I don't need it, I'm fine. I—I feel better than I've ever had before, actually." He sneezed—and the cough that accompanied it sounded just as painful.

"But I made this specifically for you," Zelda muttered, lowering the cup a bit. Before she could continue to convince him to drink it, he had already grabbed it out of her hand and taken a large gulp out of it.

"You didn't put something weird in this, right?" Link asked, sniffing it. At least he tried to sniff it, but his nose was closed up. She laughed at his scrunched up face as he continued to try to smell it.

"It's a secret," she said, patting the top of the bed. "It's been a long day, you should rest."

He took one more long gulp before handing the cup to her with a satisfied sigh, his smile a little woozy. Zelda quickly grabbed it from him and stared into it—he had drank the whole thing in two gulps. He was supposed to drink it slowly.

He flopped over on top of the bed, burying his head into the pillow.

"This bed is really comfortable," he said, his voice muffled as he rubbed his face into it.

"Hey, you're going to get snot all over my pillow if you do that!" Zelda scoffed, tugging at his sleeve as she twisted around.

"It smells like you," he murmured, looking at her with half-lidded eyes as he strained to keep them open.

"Oh? And how do you know what it smells like if your nose is clogged?" She brought her arms over the bed and folded them together to rest her cheek against them. She had never witnessed him getting sick, even before the Calamity. And to see him acting a little aloof brought warmth into her chest—even though he hadn't recovered every memory, he still treated her with familiarity, which she appreciated. She was afraid of being thrown into a world so familiar, yet different.

But he stayed, even though he didn't have to.

"Hmmm... I can just feel it," Link muttered as he closed his eyes, pressing deeper into her pillow.

"You can feel what my pillow smells like?" Zelda snorted, trying to hold in her laughter. Instead of responding to her, he began snoring.

Zelda would have to remember that including a few sprinkles of nightshade acted as an excellent way for someone to fall asleep quickly.

#zelink #botw #breath of the wild #yes I will be making graphics for the prompts #because they're fun asfhjvf #syilca answers #my fanfics #zealouslinkage

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ka-za-ri · 4 years ago

Text

Personal Assistant Pt. 4

Oh hey there. I’m surprised you’re still here. I guess it’s time for some more kinky smut. If you’ve been waiting for demon sex, here it is! *Will Smith poses* Can I get a Hell yeah! If you’re into that? Taglist at the end

Part 1: here Part 2: here Part 3: here Part 5: here Part 6: here Part 7: here Crossposted on Ao3: here

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader Wordcount: 4,800 ish Genre: Filthy fucking. Tags: Overstimulation, Multiple Orgasms, Toys, body worship, demon sex, knotting, floor sex, brief cunnilingus Summary: After getting your numbers back up, it's time to discuss a pay raise and maybe grace you with some new knowledge.

Pay Raise

Humans only ever believed what they saw; and Lucifer planned to make you a believer.

The problematic tendencies you had fallen into were quickly corrected. Through sheer force of your willpower alone, you managed to bring your numbers back up within a month and a half. It was no easy task as Lucifer still loved to start his weekends with a little after work rendezvous. So, drastic changes needed to be made quickly to keep him satisfied. While on the clock, you were laser focused, pushing back every lewd thought you had, letting your body react while your mind worked. You needed to separate and compartmentalize work from pleasure. If Lucifer could do it, you could do it too. Seeing your improvement come about so quickly had him pleasantly surprised and the discussion of a proper pay raise needed to be had.

He had gone in and scheduled another meeting with him at the end of the day a couple months after your performance review. Like the last time, it would take up the last couple of hours you had on the clock and you expected it to last a few hours past that as well. Surprisingly, he had sent you an email just as you started to wrap up your work to remind you of your meeting. When you opened it up and saw the message, you couldn’t help but smile a little. It was so him.

Make sure you’re properly prepared for the meeting and be on time.

To anyone else, the words on your screen would seem like a mundane reminder to bring something to write with and to be punctual for your meeting. However, everything Lucifer did had a purpose and you knew the underlying meaning of his succinct message. Understanding what you had to do, you rushed the last bit of work you had to accomplish. He wanted you to be prepared and that meant that you needed a few extra minutes before the meeting to ensure both your holes were empty and ready to be used as he saw fit.

You stared at the bathroom mirror, face warm from seeing your most intimate parts reflected in it while you pulled the toys of the day out. You carefully washed them with warm water, even if it was getting dangerously close to the appointed time, it would be a shame if you couldn’t properly care for the precious gifts Lucifer graced you with. Everything he handed you felt sacred, and to disrespect him by not ritualistically washing and drying your toys after use left you feeling guilty. If you arrived a little late because of that, you hoped he would show mercy. Likely not… but it’s not that bad to get punished...

When you stepped back out onto the main office space, you noticed that it was significantly darker than usual. Normally, the room would be glowing a warm orange from the setting sun as the day drew to a close. However, during the time you were in the bathroom, he had drawn all the shades to block out the light. A gray gloom fell over the two of you and you suddenly felt an inkling of fear crawl up your spine.

He was staring off into the distance, facing the windows as if he was watching the city. But, with the shades down, he was really looking at nothing. He seemed to be deep in thought while he waited for you to arrive.

Today would be the ultimate test of your trust in him.

“I’m here for the 3 o’clock meeting, Lucifer.” You spoke up after the silence between the two of you grew too heavy for you to bear.

“Right on time. Take a seat.” He didn’t turn to see you, his gaze and demeanor rather distant.

The fear you felt earlier came back. Your mind raced, wondering if you had disappointed him somehow. The somber mood only made you worry that he was gearing up for the ‘you’re fired’ talk. The last time a meeting like this happened, you had found yourself sitting on his cock for hours while he rattled on about reports. You could only pray that this meeting would somehow have the same outcome.

“My apologies for the darkness. I’ve had a bit of a headache and the light makes it worse.” He explained, finally putting your worries at ease and he moved to his seat at his desk. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. I hope you’ll overcome it quickly.” You smiled softly, glad to know that he was still susceptible to the typical aches and pains of a normal human. Even if he seemed to be a supernatural being at times with how composed he was, you knew he was still human deep down. “What would you like to talk about?”

“Numbers.” Lucifer stated plainly, pulling out your file. “It’s been a rather busy month for you, has it not? I would like to check in.”

“Well, you know how it is during this time of the year. Everyone is trying to get all the supplies they need for school and orders are flying off the shelves faster than some of our facilities can fulfill them.”

He nodded, writing something down on a separate notebook he kept at the side of his desk while you spoke. “Yes, the hiring and training set up a few months prior helped; but, nothing really prepared us to experience such growth in such a short amount of time.”

“It was an unexpected spike, but if I remember correctly, marketing has also been working on expanding the network of advertisements on all platforms. Your reach is a lot larger than it ever has been.”

“And even with all this new work, you managed to bring your numbers up as I had asked you to. Very good.” He pointed out the improved data and compared the past two months to the time he had last spoken to you about your dip in performance.”Now that you’re on top of things, I expect you to stay there. You’re on track to keeping those numbers up and I’d like to see you stay diligent, even when things get slower.” He paused, letting you take in the information before he moved to the next point he wanted to get to. “I’m very proud to see that you’ve kept up with everything despite the sudden growth and spike in work. It might be time for a pay raise, don’t you think?”

You blinked, not expecting to have this kind of talk until you had been with the company for at least a year and a half. To have it brought up just a little over six months in your tenure felt too short; yet the pride you felt from meeting his expectations overrode any discomfort you had. “I’m happy with whatever decision you make.” You said truthfully.

“Well, with higher pay comes higher expectations. Do you think you can live up to them?”

“Guide me, and I’ll do whatever it is you need.” you replied confidently. It didn’t matter if the request pertained to work or your after hour services. You were willing to go to Hell and back for this man. Normally, you would have been alarmed to be this loyal to someone you had only met half a year ago; but having spent so much time around him, you knew you could count on him no matter what decision he made.

“Do you trust me?” The question felt a little odd, but not entirely out of place.

“Absolutely.”

He gauged your reaction, searching for any fault in your confidence. Your heart beat fast as the silence stretched on and he tested the waters even further. Finally he broke eye contact with you and got up from his desk, he beckoned you to follow him to a larger, emptier space. “If you trust me as you say you do, then do not be afraid.”

You struggled to understand what he was saying. For a moment you felt like you couldn’t see properly, Lucifer’s entire being seemed to disappear behind a haze and shift dramatically. Blinking rapidly to try to fix whatever was going on with your eyes; you tried to get a better look at him again. Once your vision cleared, Lucifer’s image was no longer the one you were used to seeing on a day to day basis. Yelping in surprise, you fell back, trying to comprehend what just happened.

“Do not be afraid.”

“I’m not… I’m not scared.” you stuttered. This image, this version of him was familiar to you. As shocking as it was to see now, there was a sense of familiarity. You knew this version of him as an illusion; but, for many times as you blinked, he remained the same. The great horns that crowned his head and the massive wings that surrounded him didn’t go away no matter how hard you rubbed your eyes and shook your head in disbelief.

You thought back to the night you signed your contract, how you had sworn you saw something in the reflection of the window. That red glint in his eyes you had thought was a trick of the light was actually natural. What you thought had been an illusion had been his true form all along.

Even his clothes had changed to fit this form of his. He was swathed in a long black and red tailcoat that fit snugly over the tailored suit he wore. The embroidered design on the coat and at his collar made your heart flutter. It matched the necklace he had given you months prior. The red that lined the coat and the capelet on his shoulders were an exact match to the lipstick you wore. All along, signs of his true self had been all around you and you hadn’t noticed a thing.

Everything clicked at once in your brain. His name, the contract, the sway he had over you. You had willingly made a deal to work with the devil himself. That realization should have had you screaming for mercy and for a return of your soul; yet that thought never crossed your mind. All you could think of was just how magnificent he was.

You wanted to get up, but your body seemed to lack the strength to hold you upright. He stood still, watching your every move. Even if you claimed you weren’t scared, your body wouldn’t stop shaking in the wake of his demonic form. He waited patiently for you to gather your wits, knowing how shocked you must be to realize this reality. Lucifer was almost ashamed that he had shown his true form to you without much warning. However; there was no delicate way to go about it, and there were needs that he wanted to sate which could only be accomplished in his true form.

“This… this is all real…” You breathed, finally at least getting enough strength back to get on your knees. “I’m not dreaming?”

He stepped closer to you so you could clutch onto his clothes and pull yourself back up. “Does it feel real to you?” He asked softly, his gaze never leaving you as you struggled like a newly born lamb to stand again.

“Very real.” You determined once you were back on your feet and able to gaze directly into his eyes. He’s beautiful. Carefully, you reached up to touch his face, stroking his soft skin and his silky hair. The familiarity of his warm skin under your fingers brought a calm over your body. Still, it was hard to believe and your touches tracked upwards towards his horns. “May I?” You asked tentatively before you touched them.

“You may.” He permitted, tilting his head to the side so you could properly touch them. You gently ran your hand through the ribbed texture of the hard horns, marveling at their sheen and how smooth they were. It was easy to be entranced by the unique curved shape they formed and you spent several minutes mindlessly tracing them from where they sprouted from his skull to their pointed tips. He stayed perfectly still for you the whole time, letting you soak it all in. Carefully standing on tiptoe, you placed a soft kiss on them, leaving red lipstick marks across them. He subdued a shudder, but let you continu, allowing you to explore him in a rare show of vulnerability.

“May I…” You started to ask again, distracted by his wings which fluttered softly whenever your touches tickled his senses just right. You reached out to them, wondering if they were as soft as they looked.

“You may.” he said softly, giving you permission to walk around him and caress the dark feathers. The ensemble he wore was so cleverly made, allowing his wings full range of motion while also being easy to remove thanks to some carefully hidden buckles and ties which nestled at the base of each pair of his wings. You traced the line his spine made, barely brushing past the feathery appendages. You couldn’t see his expression from where you were, but you could feel his muscles tense. Lucifer didn’t stop you though, letting you carry on and examine his body as you needed.

Your fingers traced the feathers, amazed at how they shimmered in the dim light, refracting bits of green and gold whenever they fluttered. The right at the base, the softest black down sprouted from his skin and flowed into the wings. Burying your fingers there, you sighed in content, loving the velvety texture of the small feathers as they tickled your hand. Lucifer visibly shivered, the base of his wings were particularly sensitive. The way you caressed them so gently sent jolts of pleasure right to his groin. He couldn’t stop you though, not when you were stroking those sensitive spots so innocently in your inspection of his demon form. He couldn’t bring himself to ruin the moment with his growing hard on. You heard him take deep breaths, calming his body as he stayed still for you.

You circled around to him again, wide-eyed and blushing. He trusted you enough to show you this. Out of all the people in the world, you were the one privileged with the knowledge of what your boss truly looked like.

“Are you afraid?” he asked once you were in front of him.

“No…” You answered softly, placing a hesitant kiss on your lips. “You’re beautiful.”

He liked your answer, responding to your kiss and deepening it. Lucifer pulled your close, his hand resting at the back of your head and keeping you flush against him. You could feel his hard cock press against your thigh and the intimacy of the moment was heightened. The kisses you shared were uncharacteristically soft, as if he was holding back his real desires from you. You were so used to him simply taking anything he wanted from you that the gentleness had your mind swimming in the most pleasant way. “If… I may…” You said breathlessly once the kisses broke. You placed your finger on the clasps that held his capelet in place, and patiently waited for his permission.

“Yes, you may.”

You smiled softly; there was nothing but adoration in your eyes as you worked his clothes off of him. The capelet fell away with little effort. The buttons to his tailcoat came next. He assisted you in undoing the buckles and ties at his back. Once those were undone, the rest of the garment came off with ease. All the ornate accessories he wore were carefully removed and placed on the desk. Everything you touched was sacred. Everything your hand passed was blessed to be in his presence and you were the one privileged enough to have the pleasure of taking it off of him.

Each piece of clothing landed on the floor in a pile next to the two of you. After the long coat came his gloves which hid long, red nails underneath. You blushed when you noticed that once again, it was the same shade of red you wore every day on your lips. You made quick work of the skin tight undershirt he wore; the last thing that stood before you and his bare skin. Once that joined the rest of his clothes on the floor, you were free to explore him again as you wished.

You didn’t even ask permission this time. It was the first time he had ever allowed you to remove this many clothes off of him. The treat of seeing his whole torso bare and framed by those magnificent black wings of his was practically a religious experience. You couldn’t help but want to kiss every inch of his skin. Your hand traced the toned muscles of his abs, trailing up to his chest where his nipples were. Keeping eye contact with him, you ran your tongue across them, watching how hard it was for him to keep his composure the whole time. You wanted to spend every second he allowed worshiping the perfect specimen in front of you. Taking his nipple in between your teeth, you swiped your tongue across it, gaining a hiss which turned into a soft moan. He laced his hands into your hair, encouraging you to keep going. Your hand joined your tongue at his chest, pinching and teasing his other nipple.

Your free hand moved down lower to the bulge at his pants and stroked him through the fabric. You would get there in due time; but your focus was on what was already revealed and you hadn’t had enough of that yet. Kissing across his chest, you sucked at his other nipple, moaning softly against his skin, you let the vibrations from that noise aide in pleasuring him. “Very good…” He murmured softly, his hands still laced in your hair and tugging at it slightly. “You may continue…”

At his request, you knelt down, coming face to face with his crotch and you swallowed. He stopped you before you got to working his belt off of him. “I… I will have changed there too.” he warned.

“I will not be afraid.” You reassured, deftly unbuckling his belt and tossing it to the side. You took your time in undoing the button and the zipper. The anticipation of what he was hiding was making you wet. How would it feel to be filled with this version of Lucifer? How would your pussy like his demon cock? You licked your lips unconsciously as you pulled the zipper down and revealed the outline of his cock pressed up against his boxers. Seeing the tantalizing silhouette of what was to come made you eagerly pull the rest of his pants off and tossing it on top of the ever growing pile of clothes. In a moment of awkward maneuvering when you struggled to get his pants past his ankles, Lucifer also assisted you in taking off his socks and shoes.

He only had his boxers left before he was completely nude. Even if you were excited to see what his cock looked like, you wanted to still show appreciation to what you had unveiled. Kissing up his thighs, you breathed deeply to take in his scent. His unique musk hadn’t changed at all. He was still the Lucifer you knew and trusted. Lovingly, you nuzzled the massive package he sported at his crotch. A bead of precum soaked through the fabric and you lapped at it Getting a taste of him, you smiled to yourself, noticing that his unique flavor was also the same as it had always been.

Embracing his thighs, you hungrily groped his clothed ass while you licked up and down his shaft through the fabric of his boxers. Your saliva wet the fabric, enhancing the outline of his cock even more, molding it to every ridge and bump. By the time you were ready to take off his boxers, it was soaked by your drool and a mixture of his cum.

Getting to the final reveal of his cock was better than you had ever expected. It was a magnificent thing. Long and hard, it curved upwards with deep ridges running all along the length. At the base, an impressive muscular knot bulged and pulsed which then seamlessly lead down to his balls. You couldn’t help but trace your finger along every detail, marveling at it and fantasizing about taking it all in you. Part of you wanted to also run your tongue across his length, but his hand in your hair stopped you before you could take the tapered tip into your mouth. Above you, you heard Lucifer hiss in pleasure, thrusting into your touches, just as eager as you were to get to the best part of the evening. “No. Not this time.” He said firmly; and you obliged, only touching him with your fingers until he couldn’t take it anymore.

The pile of clothes you made served to be an excellent cushion against the cold floor. He laid you on top, smiling devilishly now that you had your fill. “Now… it’s my turn.” He said. “May I?”

“Yes… You may.” You said, already lifting your skirt up and spreading your legs wide for him.

It took no effort at all for his sharp nails to cut through the thin fabric of your panties. Truthfully, he wanted to rip all your clothes off of you; but then that would make your journey back home rather problematic. So, he had to settle for the pleasure of tearing your panties to shreds, exposing your soaking pussy to the cool air. It was his turn to lick his lips and savor the beautiful sight before him.

Dipping down between your legs, he licked at your labia, lapping up your essence and taking in your unique scent. The feeling of his hot tongue playing at your sensitive folds was mind blowing and your hands flew to his head between your legs, gripping the horns hard to encourage him to go further. You could hear him chuckle, his body shaking slightly in the action and he complied, if only a little bit. He pressed the flat of his tongue across your slit, parting it open to freely lap at your juices and stopped to swirl the tip of his tongue at your clit making your whine and grip at his horns even harder.

You didn’t realize just how strong your grip on his horns had been until he had to pry your aching fingers off of them as soon as he was satisfied with tasting you. “Are you afraid?” He asked, pulling away from you to line the tip of his cock at your entrance. Just feeling the tip part your lips had you quivering in anticipation.

“No.” You reassured him. “I want you… all of you.”

He took his time entering you, wanting you to feel every detail of his cock as it slid into you. You arched your back, already writhing in pleasure at the first inch. He filled you in a way you never felt before. No human cock or toy could ever replicate the sensations he was giving you.You could feel everything, every curve and ridge of his glorious dick as he entered you. The girth of it was perfect, stretching you full while the length and curvature of his cock rubbed against your g-spot with every inch that entered you. “You will have all of me… soon.” He promised. “But first. Let’s see how you handle me like this.”

His pace was slow at first, making sure not to hurt you as you became accustomed to being fucked by his demonic cock. Every pass was a new experience in sensations. You clawed fruitlessly at the tiles on the floor as you gasped his name with every thrust he gave you. This had to be what it felt like to be in heaven. If you could choose a god to pray to, it would be Lucifer and his cock would be the temple you worshiped at.

You could still tell he was being careful with you; and that wouldn’t do. As much as you appreciated this soft side of him, you knew the control he craved. “Take… Take me.” You begged. “Use me as you like…”

At your request, something in him snapped and the languid pace he first set was broken in favor of a rougher and faster one. A pace that could satisfy a demon. Your insides clenched and fluttered erratically, not sure how to take the brutal fucking he was giving you. As your mind short-circuited, you vaguely felt him lift your leg up, propping it on his shoulder to get better leverage.

And that was the moment you saw stars. Every trust was pure bliss, you were cumming uncontrollably around his cock, spasming and begging for more at the same time. His sharp nails dug into your flesh, adding yet another layer of sensations for you to experience. The top of his hard knot caught at your entrance with the new angle and you could feel your cunt stretch out even more to accept him.

Tears streamed freely down your face as you lost count of how many times his cock had made you orgasm. Yet you still hadn’t felt his knot buried in you yet. “Lucifer… please.. I want all of you…” You whined. You weren’t sure how many more times you could cum before you passed out. At least before that happened, you wanted to experience fully accepting him.

He slowed down to almost a full stop and let you take a few deep breaths. As you calmed your body down from the high of so many orgasms back to back, he pushed further into you. You had thought the incessant stretch you felt from the top of his knot when he was fucking you would be the worst of it; but you were sorely mistaken. “Keep breathing... “ he said, coaching you into slow, even breaths while he continued to cram his whole length into you. “In and out… just like that… You will have all of me soon.”

He reached up to your face, brushing stray strands of hair away, watching your expression change from one of strained discomfort to one of pleasure as his knot finally slipped all the way into you, snug and tight at your entrance. “Very good…” He praised, kissing you softly and letting your mind process what you had just done.

Looking down, seeing your pussy stuffed so full with his cock, his knot pulsed in need and he slowly rutted into you, his eyelids fluttering at being engulfed in your heat. The image of your cunt stretched and strained around his massive member for the first time would be burned into his memory forever. As soon as he felt your body fully relax into the experience, he started to rut into you harder, rocking back and forth in short burst, making you scream his name while he chased his release that was so close

“Who do you belong to?” He asked breathlessly, sweat plastering his hair to his face. His whole body tensed, waiting for your answer. As soon as he had it, he knew it would be the end for him.

“You! You do, Sir!” You screamed, arching your back and shuddering at being so filled.

“Who?” He growled, digging his nails into your thighs and leaving deep marks on your skin.

“L-Lucifer!” You yelled, you voice hoarse from all the lewd sounds you had made that night.

That was it, that was what broke him. With one last trust, he pushed himself into you as deeply as he could, filling you with his seed, cum seeming to endlessly stream out of him in spurts. He bent over you, biting you at the juncture of your neck and collarbone, his fangs breaking skin and drawing blood. He lapped greedily at it, memorizing the unique tang to your blood and finally, was satiated in a way he hadn’t been in years.

Your whole body collapsed onto the pile of clothes at your final orgasm, your vision becoming white for a few moments before you slowly drifted back into reality. He continued to empty himself into you in spurts, his seed overflowed and seeped down your thighs, but you didn’t care.

“And the pact has been made…” He murmured softly, laying down at your side, protectively wrapping his wings around you.

“Does that mean you have my soul now?” You asked tiredly. You could feel yourself drifting and wondered if you could take a small nap before taking the last train home.

“Would you like to have it back?”

“No.” You said confidently, snuggling up against him, making him hiss in pleasure as your body shifted and he was still buried inside of you. “I signed a contract with you a long time ago if I remember correctly.”

“That’s right. You were mine all along.” He said chuckling softly and holding you close.

He never needed to make a believer out of you. You had believed him all along.

Taglist: @ptv-hades

#Obey me #Obey me smut #Lucifer x reader #Obey me fanfiction #my writing #i'm trash you're trash we're all trash #Demon lucifer fucks you good #Obey Me AU

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canarygirl1017 · 5 years ago

Text

Hands On Me - Chapter 1

Pairing: Reader / Jungkook

Genre: College!au, fluff, mild angst, smut

Length: 4,341k words

Warnings: language, sexual themes

Summary: You’d never had much luck with relationships, and experience had taught you to shy away from physical intimacy. But when you started dating your neighbor, Jungkook, you began to think he was worth the risk. College AU.

A/N: Next chapter coming soon. I originally wrote this a few months ago based on a prompt I got from my writer’s group. It was supposed to be college based romance, couple’s first time together, mildly angsty, and include the dialogue “Do you want to break up?” I sort of vaguely pictured JK when I was writing the male lead, at least visually, so I thought I would post it as a reader fan fic, which I’ve never written before. I usually write Marvel fan fic at AO3 in third person (not second person) so this isn’t as natural for me. Also, this is just for funsies because I don’t do real life shipping with real life people, though I do enjoy reading some of the well written fics I’ve seen in the fandom. If people enjoy this one, I might post more as I have a lot of short story prompts I’ve written for my club and don’t do anything with.

Chapter 1

Snuggled up on the sofa watching TV together was how you spent most evenings with your boyfriend, Jungkook. You did a quick clean that morning in anticipation of him coming over since he seemed to prefer being in your space, though it hardly mattered; home was just a few doors down regardless of which apartment you chose to spend time together in.

You shifted your attention from the book you were reading to Jungkook’s profile, fingers itching to trace the sharp jawline that attracted so many women to the gym where he worked as a part-time trainer while he finished university. He also needed a haircut, but he’d shrugged off the suggestion when you mentioned it earlier that week. The slightly longer, inky black locks suited him though.

He was focused on the basketball game that had gone into overtime, his thumb absentmindedly stroking against your hip as you leaned against him. Being close to him was a double-edged sword lately and a reminder that he hadn’t really touched you in a while. Not since that night a few weeks ago.

When you first started dating three months ago, he’d been very physical with you. Dates that ended with kisses at the door had quickly turned into dates that ended with making out on the sofa at his apartment or yours. But during one very heated session on his sofa you got nervous, suddenly worried that things were moving too fast, and you pulled back. To his credit, Jungkook backed off immediately, assuring you that he was fine with following a slower pace.

Your high school boyfriend had pushed for sex and against your better judgment, you’d slept with him after the senior winter formal, only to be devastated when he moved on less than a month later. Similarly, your last boyfriend had been very pushy about sex, and your reluctance was a bone of contention between you until he broke it off.

At twenty-two, Jungkook was a year older, and you knew that he was much more experienced. You’d been neighbors for almost a year now, and you’d seen several of the girls he dated coming and going during that time. You’d never spoken to one another outside the occasional hello in passing until the night you came back from work to find your ex-boyfriend, Mike, drunk and pounding on your door.

Since you didn’t want to let him into your apartment, you stood outside to talk to him. Apparently offended that you wouldn’t let him in, he’d begun berating you loudly enough to have a few neighbors popping their heads out to see what was going on. And in the middle of that embarrassing situation, Jungkook and his friend walked up.

“Hey y/n,” Jungkook said. “Sorry we’re late.”

He slipped an arm around your waist, startling you, though you couldn’t deny you were grateful for the interruption.

His friend chimed in, holding up a takeout bag. “We brought dinner.” You’d seen him around campus and remembered that his name was Jimin.

Mike had eyed Jungkook, as if sizing up a potential fight. But while he had an inch or two on Jungkook in height, Jungkook was all lean muscle and without question the stronger of the two. So, he had backed off, but not before firing off a parting shot. “Good luck with the virgin. Cold fish bitch.”

Your cheeks were burning as he walked away.

Jimin broke the silence. “What an asshole. Does he do this a lot?”

You shook your head. “This is the first time I’ve seen him since we broke up.” You could only assume the alcohol had made him think that you were a potential booty call.

Jungkook frowned as he stepped out of your personal space. “Sorry if I overstepped. I know it’s not my business, but I didn’t like the way he was crowding you at the door and yelling at you.”

“No, I appreciate you getting rid of him,” you answered. “Thank you.”

Jimin held up the takeout bag again. “We really do have dinner. Do you want to join us? Maybe it’s better if you’re not here alone in case he decides to come back.”

You hesitated, but then your stomach growled, a reminder that you hadn’t eaten since breakfast because of a hectic day of classes followed by work at the campus library.

Jungkook smiled. “We’ll take that as a yes.”

You became friends with Jungkook after that night. It was amazing how quickly you’d felt comfortable around him. He was kind and friendly, and he frequently helped the elderly residents of your building. Then one night after he’d shown up at the campus library and walked you the few blocks home, he kissed you. It marked the beginning of your new relationship, and you’d been inseparable ever since.

Unlike the few other guys you had dated, Jungkook had never directly brought up the topic of sex, nor had he pushed for it. You’d had a brief conversation one night about your respective exes. You knew he’d had one serious relationship that ended when he moved away for college and the long-distance relationship proved to be too much of a strain. He’d only dated casually since then, though you’d seen some of his overnight guests leaving his apartment the morning after.

Jungkook knew you’d had a boyfriend in high school, but you hadn’t gone into the details of the breakup. Though it was several years in the past, that rejection still stung, and you didn’t like to talk about it. He’d never asked about Mike other than to ensure you weren’t being harassed. You supposed the drunken scene he and Jimin had witnessed was explanation enough.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you failed to notice the game had ended until Jungkook spoke. “You’ve been doing that a lot lately.”

You looked up to see him watching you, an unreadable expression on his face. “Doing what?”

“Completely zoning out,” he replied with a half-smile. “Is something bothering you?” His chocolate brown eyes studied you intently.

“No,” you said quickly. Maybe too quickly because you could tell he didn’t quite believe you. His tongue pushed against his cheek, something he did when he was thinking about how to deal with a problem.

After a moment, he nodded. “Okay.” He stood up and stretched. “I should get going. I have an early client tomorrow.”

Saturdays were always busy at his gym, and he sometimes worked longer hours on the weekends. “Do you have clients tomorrow night?”

“One,” he confirmed as he pulled on his leather jacket. “Jen’s birthday party is tomorrow, right?”

You nodded as you walked to the door with him. “We’ll be at Carmen’s.” Jen had been planning her birthday for months and wanted a venue with good food, music and dancing. The trendy bar had only been open for about a year, but it was popular for the menu, which included themed cocktails, and the Latin music. You’d been looking at salsa dancing tutorials on YouTube because you were sure that your best friend would insist on hitting the dance floor.

“Okay. Jimin and I will swing by around ten.”

Jimin and Jen were involved in a casual flirtation that they both enjoyed, though you weren’t so sure it was really going anywhere. Jimin was a handsome transfer student studying modern dance, which took up a lot of his time, much to the disappointment of the single girls on campus. And for the two years you’d been friends, you had never known Jen to date anyone seriously. Still, Jen had heavily hinted that she wanted Jimin to come to her birthday party, and so you had told Jungkook to bring him.

“Okay.” You tilted your head back as he leaned down to kiss you goodbye.

You loved kissing him – the way his hands settled on your hips, and the way the first gentle brush of his lips against yours always gave way to slow, deep kisses. Your hands drifted down his chest to his waist, clutching the material of his t-shirt to ground yourself.

It would be so easy to get swept away. By the heat that flared between you. By your feelings. You knew without a doubt that you had fallen hard for him.

Jungkook pulled back, kissing the top of your head before releasing you. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You closed the door behind him and locked up, leaning your head against it for a moment. You were beginning to regret letting him leave every night even if you weren’t sure if you were ready for more. You wanted more, but you were afraid of it too. And you had no idea what to do about it.

_________________________________________

You nibbled your bottom lip as you sat on Jen’s bed, watching your friend dig through her closet. “Do you think I should…” you paused, wondering how to broach this topic. While Jen had few conversational barriers, you were more hesitant to talk about sex.

“Should what?” Jen asked, her tone distracted as she pulled out another dress and tossed it over the chair at her desk. She tapped her well-manicured nails against the wall as she studied the contents of her closet before pulling out another dress and dropping it on the chair.

You glanced at the pile of dresses accumulating on the chair. “I thought you were going to wear that new dress you bought last week?”

“This isn’t for me,” Jen stated. “This is for you.”

You failed to contain a snort of laughter. “You’re like six inches taller than me. And I have a dress.” It wasn’t new, and Jen had complained that the dark color washed you out the last time you wore it. But unlike Jen, whose wealthy parents supplied her with credit cards and charge accounts around the city, you couldn’t afford to waste money on clothes. Your parents helped when they could, but you also had three younger siblings still at home and college was only possible because of your scholarships. Living in the city was also expensive; if not for Jungkook contributing to your groceries since you often ate together, you’d probably be eating ramen five nights a week.

“And I’m a fashion design student, so I have time to alter one of these. If I have to see you in that funeral dress again, I’m going to burn it. Worse, do you really want Jungkook to see you in it?” she shuddered as she tossed another dress on the chair. “Okay, I think these are the best options. Now, what were you asking? Do I think you should what?”

You hadn’t considered that Jungkook might also hate that dress. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to see what Jen had in mind. Arguing with her was next to impossible anyway.

You helped Jen hang the dresses on a clothes rack in the corner so you could see them better. “Do you think I should sleep with Jungkook?”

Jen raised a brow as she glanced over at you. “Hell yes. Have you talked about it?”

You shook your head. “No. I kind of… I don’t know. Freaked out a little bit a few weeks ago when we were kissing and stuff. It seemed like we were headed there, and I wasn’t sure I was ready, and I know I totally pulled a one eighty on him. And now he barely touches me.”

“Huh.” Jen considered that for a minute. “So things are weird now? Are you afraid he’s going to break up with you or something?”

You hadn’t really thought about that. “I wasn’t, but now that you said it, maybe.” You had mostly been worried that if you broke up after sleeping together, he’d be that much harder to get over because you knew that you’d be more attached to him then than you already were. But maybe that worry – that he would leave because you were holding back – had been there all along.

“I’m not saying he would do that,” Jen hurried to add. “I’ve seen how he acts around you, and how he looks at you. I really think he’s one of the good ones. But with your past experiences, I can see why you’d be worried. Has he ever been pushy about it?”

“No, never. When I told him that I thought we were moving too fast, he said he’d follow my pace. Only now, we’ve just kind of stalled out.”

“I guess he’s waiting for you to do something then. Like give him a signal that you want more.”

That could be it too. “I don’t really know how,” you admitted. “I have one night’s experience to draw from, and that was years ago.”

“That wasn’t an experience, y/n, that was a sexual travesty.”

You couldn’t argue with that. “He’s experienced though. I’m sure he knows how to make it good for me, but I don’t know how to do that for him. What if I’m bad in bed?”

“First of all, you have no idea how you are in bed because you’re practically still a virgin. Second, men are easier to please when it comes to sex anyway. Jungkook likes you. It’s easy to tell that he has real feelings for you, so I think there’s zero chance that he wouldn’t like sex with you. You really need to talk to him about it.”

You felt your cheeks heat up just thinking about trying to talk to him about this. “I know. I’m just embarrassed.”

Jen rolled her eyes. “If you can’t talk about it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it. Or I guess you could take the easier route and wear something that does the seduction for you. Like this.” She held up a deep red halter neck dress. The low neckline and back ensured maximum skin exposure. Jen was tall and had long, dark hair so on her, it probably looked fabulous.

Eyeing the dress with skepticism, you said, “That dress is your style, not mine. I’ve never worn anything like that before.” Your style could best be described as casual. On date night, you managed flirty casual, and Jungkook didn’t seem to have any complaints. This dress was on a whole other level, though.

“We can make it your style. I’ll make sure it’s not too revealing if that’s what you’re worried about.” When you still hesitated, Jen added, “Come on, Jungkook will forget how to talk when he sees you in this. I guarantee that you won’t have any trouble getting him into bed if that’s what you decide you want.”

The idea of surprising Jungkook with something like this was appealing. Maybe shaking up your image for one night would give you the confidence to talk to him about your relationship.

_____________________________________

Jungkook stifled a yawn as he entered Carmen’s. It had been an exceptionally long day, and he wished this was a regular Saturday night like the ones he usually spent with his girlfriend, y/n. He liked being in your apartment because your sofa was comfortable, you had an old record player and some killer albums that you’d collected since middle school, and your essential oil candles made everything smell nice.

Jimin had been teasing him for a couple of months now, calling him domesticated. He supposed he was because before meeting you, he rarely spent a Saturday night in. If someone had told him then that he’d soon trade beers at his favorite bar for candles and snuggling on the sofa, he would have laughed.

And since Jimin rarely got him out on a weekend anymore, and Jen had equal complaints about you, he doubted either of you would get away with ducking out early.

“Are they upstairs or downstairs?” Jimin asked.

“Downstairs, I think,” he replied.

He let Jimin lead the way. It was crowded downstairs, and he first searched the booths and bar area, expecting to find you chatting with friends. You always said dancing in public made you feel awkward unless you were drunk, and since your alcohol tolerance was low, you usually didn’t drink much.

“I see Jen on the dance floor,” Jimin said. “Did you find her?”

“No.” Jungkook scanned the dance floor, briefly pausing on a petite girl wearing a red dress before looking back at the booths. “Maybe she’s in the bathroom.” He pulled out his phone to call you.

“Wait, is that y/n?” Jimin suddenly asked.

Jungkook glanced up from his phone. “Where?”

“That girl in the red dress.”

He looked back at the dance floor for the girl in red, ready to deny it. Except she’d turned around now, and Jimin was right. Holy shit.

“Damn. I know I’ve been giving you a hard time lately, calling you domesticated. I’ll shut up now because if I knew I was taking her home later, I’d be domesticated too.”

Jungkook glared at Jimin. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop.”

Jimin’s expression was sheepish. “Sorry, man. I’m going to hell for impure thoughts, but so are half the guys hanging around her. You might want to worry more about them.”

Jungkook was already on the move as he’d noticed the same thing. Shouldering past two guys trying to dance up behind you, he gave them a look that ensured they backed off. Your back was facing him, and he swallowed hard as his eyes drifted down from your shoulders. The dress draped in the small of your back, leaving a bare expanse of skin, and his fingers literally itched to touch you.

He gave in to the urge, sliding his hand along your waist lightly to get your attention. You turned your head, brows furrowed as you flinched away from the unexpected touch. But when you saw it was him, you smiled and wrapped your arms around his waist.

“You’re here,” you said, tilting your head back to look at him. “I’ve been waiting forever.”

He smiled at your uncharacteristically dramatic tone. “Sorry. I forgot my bag, so I had to run home to change. Are you having fun?” You were pressed close against him on the crowded dance floor, and he was enjoying the feeling of your small body against his. He let his hands settle on your hips, thumbs rubbing light circles. You shivered in response. “Are you cold?”

“No. That just feels good,” you said with a sigh. You toyed with the top button of his long-sleeved white Henley.

He wasn’t used to you being that direct about what you liked. And when your hands suddenly wandered under his leather jacket and ran up his back, he suppressed a shiver of his own. “I think you’re drunk, baby.” He pulled you closer, trying to ignore the teasing glimpse of cleavage revealed by your dress. Your hair drifted around your pale shoulders in loose waves, and all he could think about was running his fingers through it as he kissed you.

“Maybe a little bit,” you admitted, scrunching your nose as you smiled up at him. “The cocktails are really good here.”

God, you were adorable. He’d never met another girl that he wanted to simultaneously fuck senseless but also protect and cuddle, though the former urge was winning out tonight. He’d never imagined you wearing a dress like this, and he knew it would be fueling his fantasies for quite some time. It had to be Jen’s influence, though he certainly wasn’t complaining.

As if reading his thoughts, Jen suddenly sidled past him on her way to the bar. “You’re welcome.”

For the next three hours, you divided your time between the dance floor and the bar, and Jungkook was content to follow behind you. You danced slowly together regardless of the beat, and he finally allowed his hands to stroke your bare back. You kept tilting your head back, inviting his kisses, and he was happy to indulge you. He was so turned on he could hardly think straight, but he knew he needed to keep a tight rein on the situation. The last thing he wanted was a repeat of that night a few weeks before when you had all but run from his apartment.

When you got a bit unsteady on your feet, Jungkook ordered water and fries at the bar before leading you to the booth where Jimin, Jen and a couple of other friends were talking. He could tell you were starting to fade as you finished the water and food. When you yawned and leaned against him, he kissed the top of your head. “I think it’s time we got you home.”

You hummed in agreement. Jen tossed him your jacket from the corner of the booth, and he helped you put it on. The cab ride back home was long enough for you to fall asleep in his arms. He savored every minute, stroking your hair gently, lulled by the sound of your breathing and glad that you had shaken off the pensive mood you’d been in the night before.

Jungkook was observant enough to realize that something was worrying you lately. While it bothered him that you wouldn’t tell him what you were thinking about, he worried that the relationship was still too fragile for him to push when it was obvious that you didn’t want to talk about it. Still, it was becoming increasingly difficult to let it go because he was concerned that it had something to do with him.

He wondered if it was about sex. Ever since that night he’d intervened when your ex showed up drunk, he’d wondered about your relationship with him. Something in the past had made you nervous about physical intimacy, which he’d realized after you ran out of his apartment that night, and he’d been very careful not to do anything that might make you run again. More and more he wished he’d punched that asshole, feeling certain he was somehow to blame. He’d deserved that and more for the name calling alone.

When you arrived home, Jungkook paid the driver and helped you from the car. Upstairs, he unlocked your apartment, smiling when you kicked your heels off and the effort sent you stumbling sideways. He steadied you before removing your jacket and draping it on the arm of the sofa. You walked to your bedroom and he grabbed some water from the kitchen before following you.

“You don’t feel sick, do you?” he asked, placing the water on your nightstand.

You shook your head as you sat on the edge of the bed and reached out a hand to him. “No.”

He took your hand and sat next to you. “You should change before you go to sleep, so you’ll be more comfortable.”

“You like the dress, right?” You nibbled your bottom lip as you peeked up at him through your lashes.

Understatement. “You look beautiful,” Jungkook said quietly, pushing your hair off your shoulder. His breath caught when you turned her cheek toward his palm and rubbed against him like a sleepy kitten.

“Then kiss me,” you whispered.

He hesitated, but you were already reaching for him. The kiss was like throwing a match on kindling. Then you scooted back to lie down and pulled him with you.

This was dangerous and he knew it, but he ignored the niggling little warning in his head because he’d been thinking about kissing you like this all night. He pressed against your soft curves but kept most of his weight off you as slow kisses turned more passionate. And when your hands grew bolder, running across his chest and back and tugging him closer, he gave in to the temptation, pulling you more fully beneath him.

When you parted your thighs, allowing his hips to settle between them, he dropped his head to your shoulder with a groan. Pressing kisses against your neck, he willed himself to calm down. “Baby, we should stop.”

You responded by pushing your hips up against him, and he bit back a curse. He was fully hard now and stopping was the last thing he wanted to do, but he knew it was the right thing. Jungkook braced his weight on his forearms and took a breath as he stared down at you.

“But I want you to stay,” you said, threading your fingers in his hair. Your eyes seemed much darker in the dim light of the bedroom. Your small hands drifted down to his shoulders, kneading, and then moved further down to toy with the hem of his shirt.

Jungkook closed his eyes and took another deep breath, the light fragrance of your perfume doing nothing to help him regain control. As much as he wanted you – had wanted you from the first night he kissed you - he didn’t want your first time together to be after a night of drinking. If there was even the slightest chance that you might regret it later, it wasn’t worth it.

He gave in one last time, kissing the spot beneath your ear that always made you shiver. He darted his tongue out to taste you and then captured your lips for one more long, slow kiss. “Not tonight.”

You didn’t argue anymore, allowing him to pull away. You were quiet as you got up and took some clothes from the dresser before going to the bathroom to change. When you returned, your face was clean, and you wore the usual pajama pants and t-shirt you preferred to sleep in. You didn’t say anything as you slipped past him to crawl back into bed and pull the covers up.

“You’re sure you feel okay?” he asked.

You nodded, your eyes already closed. “I’m just tired.”

He brushed his hand over your hair and leaned down to kiss your forehead. “I’ll lock up on my way out. I’ll give you the key back tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Jungkook hesitated for a moment. Something seemed off somehow. Awkward, maybe. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He turned off the light and let himself out, making sure to lock the door behind him.

#college au #jungkook x reader #bts imagines #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook x you

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eddiemunsonssoulmate · 5 years ago

Text

At the end of the day I’ll walk with the heart of a lion

Summary: JJ Maybank is about as local as they come. Latest in a long line of fishing, drinking, smuggling, vendetta-holding salt-lifers who made their living off the water. Best surfer around and mild kleptomanic, probably also a future tax cheat.But what made him into the young man he is now?

Word Count: 10.320

Warnings: Domestic abuse, child abuse, drugs, alcohol, violence, angst

A/N: Okay so this one...well. It's kinda taken a life on it's own. It was supposed to be just a small OneShot about JJ's early home life, a few headcanons thrown in here and there about his mother, how his father became so shitty. Things like that. Now you've 10k for JJ's background how I imagine it. It starts with his pre-school life and goes up until the vanishing of Big John, so around a year before the show starts. I hope you enjoy!

Available On: AO3

There was a time, I used to look into my father's eyes In a happy home, I was a king I had a golden throne

“Mom, look”, the blonde boy said and came running into the house, holding a dead fish as high up in the air as he could. “I caught it all on my own!”

His mom turned around and smiled at the boy literally glowing with excitement, patting his head. “Good job, JJ”, she said and crouched down in front of him to place a kiss on his cheek.

“This is going to be a feast!”, his father exclaimed as he came up behind his son, carrying a box with fish and ice inside.

It had been the first time that his dad has taken him fishing and JJ loved every second of it. It was pretty exciting for a six year old after all. He had been nagging his father about this for weeks and today was the day he had finally agreed.

JJ had literally jumped out of bed this morning, way earlier than usual, only to crawl into the bed of his parents to wake them up with excitement in his voice.

“Mom, mom, can I help?”, he said and climbed up on the counter where his dad had placed the fish, looking inside the box.

“Are you sure you can handle such a big knife?”, his mother asked and showed him the knife she was going to use.

“I’m a big boy!” He pouted a little at his mother, he could fish so he could totally prepare dinner with it.

It took a little longer than usual but dinner was ready soon enough and he felt like he was the happiest kid on earth right now. He liked the outdoors things with his father but also really liked helping his mother around the house. Cooking, baking, cleaning, it didn’t matter to him as long as he could spend time with her.

“Can we go again soon?”, JJ asked his father, his mouth still full of food and it made his dad laugh.

“Sure we can, buddy. But first we have to fix your tree house okay?” His father smiled at the young child in front of him and JJ nodded.

They had built a treehouse together a few months ago but the last storm hadn’t been kind to it, so it needed some fixing. It was JJ’s favourite place to be when he wanted to be alone, sometimes he would even sleep there when it was warm outside. He had a pretty good view over the property and felt like a king in his home.

The boy grinned and kept eating as fast as he could as his favourite cartoon was about to start soon and missing even a second of it was not an option.

Later on he was snuggled between his parents on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, watching TV. A particular scene involved the protagonist going to school and JJ clapped his hands.

“I’m so excited for school!”, he said and snuggled closer to his mother who slowly stroked his blonde hair that he had clearly gotten from her.

After this summer the first year of school would start for the small boy and he had been talking about it for quite some time. It was probably normal for kids that age to be excited about going to school but JJ had always been so full of energy that he seemed even more excited.

“Bedtime story?”, he yawned when his show was over and his dad was carrying him to his bed.

“You know I’m not good at telling stories”, his father answered and JJ just chuckled against his neck.

“You always say that and you still tell me stories afterwards.” It had become their routine ever since JJ had asked for the first story years back and his father would always try to deny it.

Of course he got another story and, as usual, he fell asleep during that. His father gave him a kiss to his forehead before leaving the room. It might have been a small room but big enough for a kid his age, decorated with love by his parents.

When everything you do Don’t seem to matter You try but it’s no use Your world is getting blacker

School certainly hadn't been what he had expected. Actually, he hated it most of the time. He wanted to go fishing with his father, spend time with his mother, learn how to surf even though the waves would swallow him. Sitting in a cramped classroom together with other kids he didn’t get along with wasn’t his favourite activity. The learning was fun, sometimes but everything else was a nightmare for the active kid that prefered to run around instead of sitting still.

“I don’t want to go there anymore”, he said one day as he came home, throwing his backpack into a corner and falling face down onto the couch. It’s only been a few months but he was already done with it, already trying to think of a job he could get at his age already but coming up blank.

“Why’s that, sweety?”, his mother asked and walked over to him to pat his head gently.

“The other kids are mean!”, he said as he sat up, pouting at his mother. “They make fun of me because I can’t read as well as the others!”

“Oh, you’ll learn soon enough. School only just started, it just takes a while.” His mother kissed him on his forehead and sat down next to him but JJ didn’t want to hear it. His parents had always told him he was a really smart boy but right now he felt really stupid.

“But they laugh about me because I’m the only one!” He didn’t understand why it was only him that had trouble with letters and words.

His mother pulled him on her lap and into a hug. “Some are faster, some are slower. That’s okay.”

“Am I dumb?”, he suddenly asked and his mother laughed softly, shaking her head. The other kids had been calling him dumb quite often and it didn’t seem to stop, no matter how many times his teacher scolded them.

“No, you’re one of the smartest boys I know”, she said and he pulled away, grinning from ear to ear at her, a small twinkle in his eyes. If mom said that, that had to be true, right? Mom was the best, after all. The kids wouldn’t be smarter than his mother.

“Can we make a cake?” He really loved baking with his mother. He himself wasn’t very good at it but his mother was very skilled at baking all kinds of goods.

His mother agreed and they went on to the kitchen. “But don’t eat all the batter before we actually make the cake!”

JJ just giggled and nodded.

He would do it anyway.

It would only take a couple of more weeks until the young boy decided to do something against the bullying he had to endure.

“JJ, what happened?”, his mother asked as she came into the office of the principal with quick steps. They had called her and she had come as fast as she could, worried about her little boy. He just sat there on the chair that was way too big for him, swinging his feet back and forth.

“Nothing”, he mumbled and didn’t look at her, too ashamed of himself.

“Mrs. Maybank, good that you’re here”, the principal said and got up to shake her hand briefly, signing her to take a seat next to JJ’s before sitting again. “Your son broke another student’s nose today.”

“You what?”, she asked and put a hand over her mouth in shock while looking at the normally so innocent boy next to her. “Why would you do something like that?”

“He kept teasing me because I can’t read well and because I’m smaller than the others! And dad said I should stand up for myself and not take any of their shit!”, he said loudly, angry that no one seemed to understand his situation.

“JJ! Language!”, his mother rebuked him and he pouted even more. “I’m so sorry that happened, is the other child okay?”

“He will be but this is unacceptable behavior. If this keeps happening we have to suspend or even expel your son”, the principal explained and JJ’s mother ran a hand through her hair, not sure how to handle all of this.

“Yes of course. I’ll make sure it won’t happen again.” She nodded in agreement.

The principal asked JJ to leave the room for a moment and wait outside. After the boy left he leaned over on his desk, closer to the woman in front of him.

“There’s also a thing the teacher had noticed. Your son might be dyslexic. That’s probably the reason why he gets in trouble with other students. We would like to test this with him, can we make an appointment soon? If it’s confirmed he can get the support he needs to catch up.”

The blonde woman agreed and soon enough it was proven that JJ was in fact a dyslexic. They finally had an answer why he had troubles reading and writing but the bullying still didn’t stop and JJ wasn’t one to just keep taking it without a fight back.

Following weeks were full of talks with teachers and the principal as JJ was acting out even more. He didn’t hurt them bad and only defended himself when he got bullied again but he had always been the one to get in trouble the most.

Therapy was even in the talks and also extra lessons for kids who were struggling. One of many things that JJ started to hate about school. He really liked math, biology and sports but staying in school longer only because he couldn’t read so well? Ridiculous. He tried to sneak so often that his teachers had to accompany him to the extra classes.

His mom was slowly getting all over her head with him and his father...well. He was at home all the time currently after losing his job but didn’t seem to care about his family too much right now. He was dwelling in self pity and prefered to drink away his pain.

The first time JJ had come home from school and saw his father passed out on the couch he thought that he was dead, freaking out but only waking him up with it, earning a scolding for that. His dad had gotten quite loud and that was totally new for the young boy.

It wouldn’t be the last time he would find his father like that, he only didn’t say anything about it anymore, simply accepting the fact that his dad seemed to be tired a lot.

“Mom?”, he asked as she was tugging him in one day.

“Why is dad like that? He is drinking so much and sleeps a lot. Is he tired because he’s trying so hard to get a job?” He still didn’t know why he needed the alcohol for that but as his parents always had told him, alcohol is for grown ups and he shouldn’t care about it too much.

His mother sighed and tears were building up in her eyes while she shook her head. “He will be fine, I’m sure he’s trying really hard to find one in the mornings when you’re at school. And then he is so exhausted he needs to sleep.”

“But why the beer? It smells and tastes horribly”, he answered and pouted, his eyes full of wonder because he couldn’t grasp the concept of it. For him, any kind of alcohol smelled bad and every time his father let him try a tiny sip it was disgusting.

“Sleep now”, his mother simply replied and pressed her forehead against his for a second before turning the light off and leaving the room.

His father hadn’t tugged him in in weeks.

No one had told him bedtime stories ever since.

I hear her scream from down the hall Amazing she can even talk at all She cries to me go back to bed

It was at the end of the next summer that his father came home with a huge grin on his face.

“Honey, I bring good news!” The older man came into the house while his mother and JJ were baking cookies, enjoying the time together while his father was out of the house for once.

“Oh?”, she simply said and cleaned her hands to turn to her husband, JJ sitting on the desk and sneakingly putting his finger in the batter. He really had a sweet tooth.

“I found a new job at the docks!”, he said and pulled her into a hug, swirling in a circle. The little boy grinned at his parents finally looking happy again.

“That’s wonderful”, his mother said and pressed a kiss to his lips.

JJ didn’t really listen to his parents talk about boring jobs, the only thing he hoped was that his father would stop with the beer and tell him bedtime stories again.

“Would you please leave some of the batter in there?”, his mother said as she came back to him and he already had another finger of it in his mouth, grinning sheepishly at her.

When the cookies were done he went over to his father in the living room, giving him a huge plate of cookies. “For you! To celebrate the new job!”, he said and smiled at his father which caused the older man to ruffle his hair.

“Such a good boy”, he said and took one of the cookies that were still warm and JJ looked behind to his mother, beaming with pride at her but she didn’t seem to look. He tilted his head while watching her for a moment how she just stared off in the distance.

She was probably happy on the inside, that’s what he had hoped.

He would soon enough find out that he was wrong about that.

JJ returned home after a long day of school and extra courses a few months later, he was exhausted and annoyed. He was improving but only really slowly and it was annoying him that the other kids seemed so much smarter than him. He didn’t really understand that it wasn’t his fault.

Even before he opened the door he could hear yelling inside the house. The voices of his parents were clashing and he bit his bottom lip, hand still at the doorknob. They seemed really angry and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go inside right now.

When he was about to turn around and go to the treehouse instead, the door opened and his father was standing in front of him, eyes filled with anger and he was breathing heavily. He didn’t say a word, just slightly shoved the boy aside before getting to his car and driving off.

JJ watched him leave before going inside, dropping his bag immediately after seeing his mother sitting on the floor.

“Mom!”, he said and ran over to her, crouching down besides her. “Are you okay?”

Her eyes were filled with tears and she seemed hurt but she just nodded. “I’m fine, sweety”, she sand and pulled him into a hug, sobbing slightly against his shoulder. He wrapped his little arms around her and didn’t say a word.

“Where did dad go?”, he asked after a long moment and his mother shook her head.

“I don’t know. Probably to work, you know he has to work really weird hours.”

The boy nodded and grabbed his mother's hand, trying to pull her up on her feet. She smiled at him with sad eyes and got up, dusting off her clothes before going to the kitchen. It looked like she was walking a little weird.

“What were you fighting about?”, JJ asked with curiosity and her mother shook her head at him once more.

“Not now, JJ. Go to your room and make homework okay?”

His face dropped and he pouted before he went to get his backpack. He hated when they had secrets from him and for some reason he felt like there was a lot that he didn’t know.

Instead of doing his homework he looked out of the window, waiting for his father to come home but it was in vain. He was also pretty sure he could hear his mom crying and he really wanted to go and hug her but she didn’t seem to want him there right now.

Three days would pass before his father returned home, drunk and with a lot of money in his hands.

The little boy had no idea that his father’s new job involved smuggling and his mother had found out.

He hadn’t seen the first time his mother got hit by her own husband.

He would hear a lot of crying from the bedroom the following weeks.

Hey mom, hey dad When did this end? Where did you lose your happiness?

Second grade was almost over and things had changed at home. He couldn’t put a finger on it when exactly it had happened but he could feel that there was a lot of sadness in his mother and a lot of anger in his father.

He sat outside on his swing that was right under the treehouse, his parents were inside, having a grown up talk he wasn’t allowed to listen to even though he was dying out of curiosity. At first he thought about sneaking to the kitchen window that was open so maybe he could listen to them but then he was sure they were probably fighting again and he didn’t want to know that.

They had to love each other, that’s what parents did, right?

His mother didn’t smile anymore, not even when he came home with good grades or when he baked her cookies. Nothing made her smile. She tried to fake it but he could see that her eyes were still sad no matter how much she smiled.

His father on the other hand was away quite often but whenever he came home he barely talked to his mother. JJ didn’t know why and when he asked, they always said it was fine when it was clearly not fine.

No one had watched his cartoon with him for a while now and he never got to hear those bedtime stories from his father again, not even with the new job as he had hoped. Instead of this, he had to go to bed alone because his mother would lock herself into the bedroom in the evening and his father was either out at work or at home drinking. JJ didn’t like that.

“Don’t you dare to leave!”, Luke suddenly yelled angrily and JJ looked up, watching how his mother left the house with quick steps, hurrying over to the car almost as if she tried to run away.

His father caught up to her fast and grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him quite forcefully.

“Let go of me!”, she yelled right back at him and hit his arm multiple times but it was in vain. The grip was strong and there was no chance of getting away now.

JJ stopped the swing and got off it, walking over to his parents and looking at them with big eyes. They were fighting again. It seemed bad. He didn’t want it to be bad, why was this happening?

“Dad?”, he asked as he stopped next to them with a little distance. There was something about his father that scared him so he didn’t dare to go closer. “I think mom wants to go.” His voice was quiet, almost like a whisper but it was loud enough for his parents to notice and look over to him. It was an obvious fact that he was starting but for him, it seemed important to tell his father at this moment.

“None of your fucking business, kid.” The tone was harsh and it shocked JJ, his father had never talked to him in such a way. He took a step back and his bottom lip started to wobble a little. His dad had been barely angry at him and even then, it was just a mild scolding. This time, it felt like a vocal hit to the face.

“Luke!”, his mother hissed and he turned back to her, glaring into her eyes.

“What? Tell your worthless son to use his brain something in school instead of annoying grown ups! Maybe then we will get a little bit of peace and not worry about him anymore”, he growled and didn’t look at JJ again before letting go of the woman, walking inside with heavy steps, slamming the door shut behind him.

JJ just blinked at what happened, tears dwelling in his eyes when he looked at his mother. Her face fell and within a moment she was kneeling in front of him, holding his face in her hands.

“Oh sweetheart, he didn’t mean it like that. He is just really stressed from work”, she tried to explain and pulled him into a hug where the boy started to sob. Why would his father call him something like that? He normally only called small fish they didn’t need worthless. He didn’t want to be like that.

He had no idea what was going on but he didn’t like it. The fighting, the sadness, the anger, the yelling, all of it. Was it his fault?

“I don’t like his new job”, he sniffled against her shoulder and she nodded in agreement.

“Don’t tell anyone, okay? Nothing good would happen then. Promise me?”; she asked with a gentle voice as she was brushing a strand of hair out of his face and he bit his bottom lip and nodded.

JJ had no idea that the coming week would be even worse than what he had just experienced.

His mom was away a lot, would leave when he was at school and come back in the late afternoon which almost always caused a fight with his father when he was at home. It was a constant yelling of ‘Where have you been?’ and ‘Who did you visit?’ like his mother wasn’t allowed to even leave the house.

He spent an awful lot of time in the treehouse as soon as it got worse. Home didn’t feel safe anymore with all the yelling and his parents not even paying attention to him anymore. There was no fishing, no baking, no bedtime stories. He sometimes felt like a stranger in his own house.

During another warm night he had decided to sleep in the treehouse so he wouldn’t need to see his father drunk on the couch or hear his mother's cries from the bedroom. At some point he got thirsty and the sun was already gone so he figured it would be safe to go inside.

He came in from the side, tip-toeing into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water which he gulped down pretty quickly, filling up another to take it with him into the treehouse. They didn’t have water bottles anymore, the only bottles in the house were beer bottles.

JJ was almost out of the house again when he heard the sound of something breaking and his mother’s voice screaming out in pain. He blinked and walked over to the bathroom where the door stood open enough to see what was happening.

His father was towering over his mother as she was leaning against the dresser, a lamp and a few books on the ground.

The glass of water dropped to the ground and shattered into pieces as the young boy saw how his father’s fist connected with his mother’s face. It took him only a second to sprint over and jump on his father’s back.

“Dad, stop!”, he yelled and was already in tears. His appearance shocked both of his parents and made them freeze in place, especially his father.

It was long enough for his mother to slip out of him.

“I’m done with you!”, she spat at him and grabbed an already packed bag before getting out of the house.

JJ slowly let go of his father and dropped to the ground, looking up at his father with eyes full of terror.

“See what you have done!”, Luke yelled and went to run after his wife.

The young boy on the ground just looked after his father as the tears continued to roll down his face.

Was it his fault his mother had left?

That’s at least what his father kept telling him in his drunken rage the following weeks because his mother did not return home.

She never came back again and he started to blame himself too.

Because of you I'm ashamed of my life Because it's empty Because of you I am afraid

Life had been a nightmare ever since his mother had left them. He never even heard from her again. That was one of the many reasons why the boy thought that it was his fault. If it wouldn’t be, she would at least write him a letter or call, right? But she didn’t, not even for his birthday.

No one in school wished him a happy birthday because no one knew, not even the teachers. Or they didn’t care so he didn’t care much either as he just wanted to get home and into his treehouse to hide from the world.

As he came home he checked the mailbox but there was nothing. He had prayed every night that his mother would send him a birthday card but it was as empty as his stomach.

He gulped when he walked into the house only to find his father snoring on the couch, surrounded by beer bottles that hadn’t been there this morning. A sad sigh left his mouth when he was looking around. No birthday decoration, no cake on the table with candles to blow out, no gifts.

His father probably didn’t even know it was his birthday. How could his lovely father turn into that angry man in front of him was beyond the young boy. It hurt so much. He had never felt so lonely in his life.

When he went over to the fridge his stomach made some loud noises and he held it with his left hand, rubbing it a bit. He didn’t have any lunch money for school so that hadn’t been an option. Sadly, the fridge didn’t seem to be an option either as it was only filled with a couple of beer bottles.

JJ bit his bottom lip and looked over to his father. He had to ask him as he didn’t have any money to buy something.

His legs were a little shaky while he was walking over to his father, the last time he had woken him up during one of his drunken naps it ended in lots of yelling and throwing things around.

“Dad?”, he said very silently and shook his father’s shoulder slightly but the older man didn’t even move. “Dad”, he tried again this time louder and Luke finally moved a little, grumbling something under his breath. “Dad!” This time his voice was actually loud enough for his father to stir.

It took only a moment for the older man to grab the hand of his son and hold it tightly. “The fuck you want?”, he asked and groaned loudly, putting his free hand against his head, having quite the headache from drinking all night long.

“I’m hungry”, the boy said and bit his bottom lip only to get a glare from his father who let go of the small arm between his hands, sitting upright.

“So what? Make yourself some food”, he replied with anger in his voice and reached over to a full beer bottle.

“Dad, please. Stop drinking and buy food, I don’t have any money for that!”, JJ said with frustration washing over him. “If mom would be here this wouldn’t be happening at all!”

That caused his father to glare even more at him and he got up within a flash, shoving the boy to the ground into some empty beer bottles which broke, cutting JJ’s arm. He hissed in pain and looked up at his father with fearful eyes.

“It’s your fault she is gone! Get a job if you want money!”, Luke screamed at the child in front of him, throwing the full bottle at him, the impact right next to his head. The smell of alcohol reached JJ’s nose and his whole body was shaking, not sure if his father had actually aimed at the ground or just missed his head.

His father had never hurt him until today.

Deep in his bones he felt like it wasn’t going to be the last time.

Weeks passed by and he had to adapt to his father’s moods or else he would get a beating, over and over again. Whenever he said or did something wrong he would immediately feel it. Bruises were covering his body but when a teacher or another child asked what had happened he would just lie, telling them he fell while playing, things like that. After all, he had promised his mother to keep quiet about it or bad things would happen.

He was wandering the streets with an empty stomach once again, not quite sure where to go, he just didn’t want to be at home with his father, so he tended to spend as much time away from the place he used to love as possible.

At some point he reached a place where he had never been before and if he was honest, he didn’t even quite know how he got here, probably a wrong turn he took at some point. There was a house and it was a little hidden from the bushes but it had a pier and seemed quite bit.

“Hey there”, someone behind him said and when JJ turned around he looked into the eyes of a boy with fluffy hair that was longer than his own.

“Hey”, he replied, not quite sure what to make of the situation. The other boy was holding a ball in his hands and grinned. JJ felt like he had seen him around, probably at school but as he wasn’t a fan of other kinds, they probably never talked.

“I’m John B.!”, the other child said and held one of his hands out, waiting for JJ to shake it which he did.

“JJ”, he replied and smiled slightly back. Before he could say anything else his stomach was rumbling loudly and John B started to laugh.

“You hungry, JJ? My dad makes the best pasta and it should be done soon!”, the brown haired boy said and seemed totally excited for such simple food, something JJ could understand. Yesterday he had to eat moldy bread because his father didn’t get groceries again, it was a surprise he wasn’t ill yet.

“I’d love that”, JJ said and grinned, following John B. to the house where he also met the father of the other child, a nice man that took care of his son, something JJ only barely remembered.

They became friends quite quickly and soon enough, JJ was at John B’s place more than anywhere else. Not even the treehouse could compete anymore. Luke never asked where he had been anyway and Big John, John B’s father, never asked any questions as he seemed to notice the sadness inside of the blonde boy.

With them, JJ didn’t feel so lonely anymore, knowing he had a place to go when he needed food or just a hug. Big John became like a second father to him, one that was worth being called like that. He wasn’t judged here, was bullied because of being dyslexic and Big John would always help him with his homework, something Luke had never done at all.

Since JJ was coming here, the beatings almost stopped as he barely saw his own father anymore. If it was for him, the Routledge family could just adopt him but sadly that wasn’t an option.

I never noticed, until I focused On everything you did, you said You lit the fuse inside my head Thank you for reminding me Of why I'm sick inside Thank you for the venom Did you think it would paralyze?

Four years had passed with JJ living at John B’s place more than his own, four years had passed without a word from his mother. At this point, she was dead to him. It was easier to call her that instead of thinking that she is out there, maybe happy with another family.

He was a teenager now and with that, he noticed the change around him quite well. He wasn’t a little kid anymore that only got glimpses of what was going on.

His father was a smuggler and a drug dealer and the only things he ever bought with that was alcohol. JJ hated him and normally he would be happy to have Big John as his second father.

Sadly, things had changed at the Chateau. Big John had become obsessed with a ship called ‘The Royal Merchant’, some legendary ship that sunk and had a lot of gold on board. He didn’t pay as much attention to the boys as before and didn’t tolerate JJ at his home that often anymore as the boys were quite loud when playing and hanging out.

Big John still loved both of them dearly but he wasn’t good at showing it anymore, so the boys spent a lot of time outside, doing their own thing, things that mostly weren’t really legal but no one cared anyway, so why should they? Shoupe showed up sometimes to scold them but they never really did anything so bad that he needed to arrest them. Most of the time the also simply ran away and Shoupe let them go.

It was also the time where the problems with the Kooks started. As soon as Middle School started, a lot of the former ‘normal’ kids went to a private school, some kind of Academy at Figure Eight and a bunch of them went off to private schools, not good enough anymore to learn at the same place like people from the Cut.

If you seperate kids like that, making one side feel special and the other side feel worthless, it wouldn’t take long for them to drift apart. The rich kids felt superior, were arrogant and threw around with money.

JJ was just someone from the Cut who didn’t have any money, sometimes didn’t even have food and with his temper, he was easily provoked by a lot of them. That was one of the reasons why he was at the police station currently.

A few of the boys who bullied him in his early years for being dyslexic and not having the best clothes were Kooks now, well, had always been but now it was showing even more. It had ended up in a fight which he had lost as they had been five and he had been alone, John B probably at home where he should be late at night.

“JJ? Your dad is here”, Deputy Shoupe said and JJ’s clenched his hand into a fist to stop his body from starting to shake in the first place. He already knew this wouldn’t end well but there was nothing he could do about it.

“I’m so sorry that you had to put up with him. I’ll teach him a lesson”, Luke simply said and Shoupe sighed, already expecting what the home life might be as Luke had been at the station quite often himself, mostly for drunken rampage.

“Make sure he understands that law actually applies to him and he isn’t a kid anymore. He is 13 years old and should act according to that,” the deputy tried to explain as he didn’t want to bring kids here that often but sometimes he had no other choice.

He had no idea that JJ would become a regular at the station just then.

The blonde boy huffed at the words of the deputy, his body tense and clenching his jaw a couple of times. He had no desire to go home with his father only to get beat up, maybe he could run away as soon as they got out of the station, Luke wouldn’t chase him because at the end of the day, he didn’t seem to give a shit about him.

Luke nodded and grabbed his son’s arm, pulling him outside a little more forcefully than needed.

“Let go of me”, JJ hissed and tried to get his arm loose but Luke wouldn’t have any of it. He only let go as soon as they were in the car. So much for trying to run away.

“Listen you little shit, I don’t care if you’re around or not but for god's sake, don’t make me get you out of there, understood?”, Luke sounded angry but the boy next to him was more surprised that he didn’t get hit in the face already. Cramped spaces with his father couldn’t be a good thing and JJ just waited for the first right hook to hit him.

The boy didn’t say anything, simply looked out of the window while biting his bottom lip. Luke grumbled something under his breath before he started the car and drove them home.

To no one’s surprise, as soon as they got home JJ got pushed around, got yelled up, his father kicked him to the ground and gave him a couple of bruises together with a lot of insults that had burned into JJ’s mind at this point. He was used to all of this and yet it hurt so much, every single time.

It was the first time in quite a while that he had slept in his own bed, too exhausted to leave this place that had turned from home to hell. He should have run away again, to the Chateau or to the woods, somewhere where no one could hurt him but his body was giving out.

The next day he was about to get out of the house but his father saw him. “Where are you all the time anyway?”, Luke asked but didn’t sound really interested.

“Why do you care? At least I’m not drinking my life away”, JJ huffed and was about to get out of the house but stopped in his tracks, seeing his father’s wallet on the small table that was standing next to the door.

One look back in the living room to make sure his father was busy watching TV and he reached into the wallet, taking out a couple of bucks, not counting them. He simply put them in his own pockets and was out of the house.

After he was away in safe distance he counted the money and grinned when he saw that it was at least 60$. An idea was forming in the back of his head and he went downtown.

Later that evening he and JB were out with the boat. Big John taught them how to use it and only told them not to go too far. Thankfully his friend didn’t bring up his bruised face, JJ didn’t want to think about it, simply wanted to enjoy the time.

John B was quite surprised when JJ pulled out weed and alcohol.

“We gotta live a little, man. With your old man being busy and mine being an asshole, we have to look out for ourselves!”, JJ said as he stood at the bow and took the first pull on the blunt. He started to cough heavily and JB laughed loudly.

“Yeah, you’re not sounding like you’re going to survive that”, he teased and earned a glare from JJ.

It was the first time they got drunk and high and it would for sure not be the last time.

It also ended up in JJ getting beat up heavily by his father as soon as he found out that his son stole from him.

Only another reason to look for an escape from the world.

So why do good girls like bad guys? I had this question for a real long time I've been a bad boy and it's plain to see So why do good girls fall in love with me?

The past year had passed quickly enough and life wasn’t getting any better, not really. At least that’s what a sane person would say. JJ on the other hand found his life to be getting quite good, drowning his sorrows in alcohol and weed he consumed at parties at first, then also whenever he felt like it.

Deep inside he knew this wasn’t healthy and he shouldn’t do it, he might just end up like his father but he understood the power of those things to numb your feelings to a point where you didn’t care anymore. The only thing he cared about was having a good time with his best friend. No, with his brother, John B.

Now that Big John was totally drowning in his research the boys had a lot of time on their hands, skipping school more often to hang out on the boat, surfing whenever they could. JJ had become quite good at it, always claiming he was the best surfer on the island.

“Who’s that?”, JJ asked one day while they were laying on the beach, taking a break from surfing and enjoying the sun.

“Who?”, John B asked and looked into the direction where his friend was looking, seeing two girls who just came to the beach. “Oh. I don’t know, some girls?”

“Yeah, obviously, thank you for that observation. But the blonde one? Damn”, JJ said and licked his lips with a wolfish grin.

“JJ, no. Leave them be”, John B said with an edge in his voice and JJ raised his hands in defence.

“I’m just looking okay? Besides, they’re looking back.” He wiggled his eyebrows at JB and then looked back at the girls, waving a little.

“You’re embarrassing”, John said and facepalmed at his friends being way too obvious. “And you have no idea how to flirt.”

“Tsk, do you see this face?”, JJ asked and drew a circle around his face in the air. “This face doesn’t even need flirting skills, it’s totally enough. Also, I can flirt, watch me.”

With that JJ got up and sat down in the sand in front of the girls, talking to them for a while, John B watching him in horror. That was more than embarrassing now and he wished he could just bury himself in the sand.

Soon enough, JJ was waving him over and he obviously had no choice but to join them.

They had spent the whole day with the two girls and had a lot of fun with them, showing them their surfing skills and even teaching them some surfing basics. At first everything seemed like they would just be some tourists, here for the summer. Outer Banks was the paradise on earth after all.

It wasn’t the last time they had met up and soon enough JJ had to admit that he had a crush on Emma, the beautiful girl with blonde hair and green eyes. For him, she was beautiful.

“So, there’s a party tonight at the beach, you wanna come?”, Emma asked as she sat next to JJ on a fallen tree trunk on the beach and he grinned at her.

“You mean the boneyard one? I was planning to ask you that”, he exclaimed and she laughed, leaning her head against his shoulder.

“I can’t wait”, she whispered and he put an arm around her, blushing slightly while they were watching the sea. It was a calm day but he had no idea how messy it would get.

The party was already going strong when he and John B arrived later that evening and he didn’t waste a second to throw himself into it. Alcohol, weed and the girl he liked in his arms. He had a great time all night.

“I’m going to take a piss”, he said slightly drunk and Emma nodded, also quite intoxicated. She went over to another girl, probably a friend of her and JJ took another pull at his blunt again before throwing it in the sand, then going over to the woods where no one would see him.

Unknowingly to him, three boys were following him and caught him off guard while he was following nature’s call.“Hey Pogue!”, one of them said loudly and JJ jumped, pulling his pants up and buttoning it quickly.

“Damn, I know I have a pretty cock that y’all want to get a look at but don’t scare me to death. Also, not interested in boys, sorry”, he slurred in his drunken state but sobered up as soon as the first punch hit him right in the face.

Two of the boys rushed behind him to hold him while the one that spoke to him was cracking his knuckles.

“Leave the hands from my sister, alright? Dirty people like you shouldn’t touch her”, he said and hit JJ in the stomach which almost caused him to puke.

“Emma’s a Kook?”, he asked in disbelief while trying to catch his breath from the punch. He had no idea until now and it hurt more than it should. She should have told him.

“Yes, she is. That means she is better than you are, so stay away.”

The boy punched him again and again before the other two let JJ fall to the ground where he held his stomach in pain, cowering there and watching how blood was dripping from his lips.

“I already touched her a little bit so sorry about that. Guess she’s dirty now,” he coughed with a small laugh in between.

The words riled the Kook boy up and he kicked JJ in the ribs until he fell to his side, body bruised and bleeding. He spat on him before he signaled his two boys to leave.

JJ breathed heavily and felt like his whole body was falling apart right now. He had really liked that girl but the gap between Kooks and Pogues were almost a bottomless pit. Soon enough she would have left him anyway when she found out that he didn’t have any money.

Her brother had ripped the rose-colored glasses right out of JJ’s face and he sighed heavily.

His life would probably never change. He would always be that worthless piece of shit that couldn’t do anything right. He would never be worth anything.

It was only two hours later that John B found him bruised and battered, almost passed out on the ground.

For JJ, it had only felt like minutes while staring at the sky, watching the trees move in the wind.

He didn’t want a doctor so John B just took him to the Chateau, wondering why his father wasn’t there but maybe it was for the better right now. He took care of JJ’s wounds and let him rest in his bed while he slept on the couch for the night.

The next morning, JJ felt like death. His body was hurting, his head was exploding and the realization washed over him that his first crush, his first love, was gone and he had no chance of getting her back. Maybe he was over dramatic as he was only a teenager but the pain was real.

John B came in with breakfast and sat down at the bed.

“How are you feeling?”, his friend asked and JJ just scoffed.

“Exactly how I look like”, he answered and reached to get a sandwich from the plate. Even chewing hurt.

“I see.” JB said and looked at his brother. His face was bruised badly, several cuts and a blue eye and he knew there were a lot of purple bruises under the blanket. “You going to tell me what happened?”

“Emma’s a fucking Kook and her brother reminded me that I’m just a dirty pogue”, he explained after swallowing and his eyes were filled with anger.

“She’s what?! Damn, I didn’t see that coming”, John B said and took a sandwich on his own, putting the now empty plate aside. “I’m sorry, heartbreak is shitty.”

JJ huffed and clenched his jaw. “A heart can’t break when it wasn’t even whole to start with.”

Silent fell over them for a while and JJ took a deep breath. Ever since his mother had left them and his father turned into this...monster, he didn’t feel like he was whole. There was a void in his heart that no one had been able to fill. Emma had come close, giving him some kind of love that he had been missing over all those years and yet, that was gone too before it even started. He would probably never see her again and it made him so, so angry.

“Who’s her brother?”, JB asked after a while, trying to get JJ out of his head before he got deeper into any thoughts he shouldn’t think.

“I don’t know, it was dark and I had trouble seeing anything, ya know, being drunk and getting beaten up at the same time.” He didn’t want to sound so sarcastic but he couldn’t stop right now or else he would cry. It was a self mechanism kicking in, protecting him from pity and his friends from worry. “But you know what that means, right?”

“I’m not sure I like where this is going.” John B finished his sandwich and looked at JJ, whose whole body was tense now.

“It’s war. We pay those Kooks back, somehow. They’ll wish they never got that close to the Cut”, he growled and for a moment, John B could swear that his friend was changing even more.

The sweet innocent boy with the sad eyes from a few years back were gone, replaced by someone who just wanted revenge on the world.

In a way, John B could understand him. The anger, the fear, the sadness and he would stay by JJ’s side, no matter what.

There's so much more You can reclaim your crown You're in control Rid of the monsters inside your head Put all your faults to bed You can be king again

Revenge had this funny thing of never ending.

Pogues vs Kooks. Over and over again. At this point, it was mostly Rafe Cameron and his minions that was annoying them to no end. There wasn’t an exact moment where it had started but given their nature, it was easy for them to provoke people who had less than them. It was a rivalry that wouldn’t end that fast.

JJ and John B had made some more friends along the way, Pope Heyward and Kiara Carrera. The latter was actually a Kook but after a long time, JJ came to accept her into the group because he had proven herself. She was now one of them, a Pogue, something her parents and old ‘friends’ weren’t fond of.

He had found a little family within them. A family that didn’t ask many questions when they met up and he was all bruised. At this point, they all knew about his father and that they couldn’t change a thing. He was taking it in silence because he knew he had no other choice. The police wouldn’t care and given that he was at the station quite frequently, he didn’t want their help anyway.

Overall, authorities weren’t much of his thing. Too often disappointed by the police or his teacher when he was trying to get help without saying it outright because he just couldn’t. No one helped him, he was on his own, he had learned that. If you wanted something, you had to get it yourself. The only people he truly trusted were his friend and trust didn’t come easily with him.

Life had also this thing of throwing him rocks in the way. Well, this time, it was actually John B’s rock and it was quite a big one.

His father had gone on a trip to find ‘The Royal Merchant’ and never returned. The authorities didn’t take much time to declare him dead, boat in the storm, shit like that. His uncle was supposed to take care of John B now but well...he wasn’t the most reliable person on this island.

When it happened, John B had changed quite a bit, sadness and anger taking over him and the only person who was there for him was JJ. He was there all the way during the first three stages of grief and he would stay for the others too.

First came denial, neither of the boys wanted to accept the fact that Big John was dead. He could still be alive after all, just being lost somewhere. He might find his way home again, no one knew and yet, they claimed he was dead so they wouldn’t need to keep looking. JJ had almost beat up Shoupe at the news but seeing John B just sit in his living room in silence without being able to talk stopped him.

The world became meaningless for a while and JJ had to accept the fact that it was hurting him almost as much as it hurt John B. It wasn’t his own father that had gone missing but it almost hurt like it was because Big John had been quite a father figure to him all those years. The following days were filled with getting drunk and weed, trying to numb the feelings that were eating them up inside. Everything felt overwhelming at once and the boys were really happy they had Kie and Pope to keep them grounded, at least a little bit.

It didn’t take long for the denial to pass and suppression of feelings didn’t help anymore. the feelings they were trying to keep inside were coming to the surface and they were a handful.

Anger was red, anger was fire, anger was starting shit with some Kooks that ended up with the two boys being hurt pretty badly but they finally felt something other than pain on the inside. It helped them to feel alive again after all the numbness.. JJ and John B were at the Chateau, bruised and battered but damn, it had been worth it. It also got them quite the scolding from Kie.Sadly, society had always been afraid of anger but right now, it was the only anchor, especially for JJ who never really learned how to deal with his feelings with anything other than anger, his father had taught him that early on. Sometimes he wished he could control it but it never worked, his fist connecting with a face before he could even finish thinking about it.

Third was bargaining, something that JB would be doing for the next year until the truth would come out but right now, it was the only thing that kept him sane. JJ on the other hand wasn’t so sure anymore, he was already so done with being in grief. He already knew these feelings from when his mother had left and he hated all of them and yet, there was no way to stop them, they’ve tried that after all.

“I can’t believe he’s gone”, JJ said to his friend as they were laying on the pier, just chilling and watching the clouds move in peace.

“He’s not. I know he is alive, I can feel it”, John B said and sighed heavily.

JJ looked over at him and bit his bottom lip. The loss of Big John almost felt like he had lost his own father. He wasn’t sure if it was okay to feel like this because he knew that it hit John B way harder than him but Big John had always been an anchor in his life, someone he could go to when he had some real troubles even though he didn’t use this option much as he got older but it had always been there.

But now? Now every option was ripped away from him.

His mother? Off to somewhere, probably living a better life, one that she deserved. JJ understood that she had to leave because of his father being a violent bastard and her son being a worthless piece of shit. One look at him now would just prove the point. He skipped school, he got drunk and smoked weed on a regular basis, he might have a job but it was only paying enough so he could buy food and beer because his father was only buying one of those two things..

Speaking of, his father was still a bastard. After Big John’s death and John B’s uncle moving in for a while he didn’t have the chance to stay over as they needed to get their affairs in order. During that time he had to go home if he wanted to sleep in an actual bed and his father didn’t miss a chance to start beating him quite frequently again. JJ knows that he should defend himself, just punch back but at the same time, there was still that fearful child inside of him that screamed ‘No, just take it’. So he was doing just that. Maybe he would have the courage one day but right now, he was still too afraid.

Big John was out at sea, maybe dead, maybe alive, no one knew. Of course JJ would prefer it if the older man was still alive but the chances were small, he had to admit that. He wouldn’t say it outright to John B, leaving his best friend the little hope he had left.

“Let’s just hope your uncle manages to get his shit together so they don’t take you to the mainland”, JJ said and sighed heavily while sitting up to look at his feet dangling close to the water. He knew that child services would take his best friend away at some point if it wasn’t working out with his uncle and they only had foster care on the island. He wasn’t going to let that happen.

“I know he will, he’s already trying very hard”, John B said quite hopeful but one look from JJ and the blonde boy knew that his friend wasn’t so sure about that himself.

“I’ll sneak you out of here if I have to, off to Mexico or somewhere else”, JJ said and JB started to laugh a little.

“Thanks, I appreciate the effort.” John B smiled at his friend and JJ grinned back at him, giving him a thumb up.

“We’ll stay together, no matter what. Someone has to protect your dirty ass from the Kooks anyway.” JJ was pretty convinced he was the best person to protect the people from his group as he had the best right hook.

“Hey boys”, Kie said as she was arriving at the pier and both of them got up. “I bought some treats.” She held up a basket with food and beer and JJ grinned at her.

“That’s my girl”, he said and was about to reach over to grab himself a bottle of beer but she just held the basket away.

“First, not your girl. Second, these are for later”, she said and pushed him away with a hand slightly.

JJ held both of his hands over his heart. “Ouch, you wound me.”

Kie just rolled her eyes and she and John B got on the boat. They had planned to go to the marsh together today, just forgetting the world around them with a small party on their own. It had become one of their favourite places.

“Sorry, I’m late!”, Pope said and came running, breathing heavily.

“Whoa calm down there before you pass out”, JJ said and clapped his friend on the back who was bending over, hand on his knees, trying to catch a breath.

JJ and Pope got on the boat too and John B was starting the motor. They had no idea what was coming up for them during the next year.

The bargaining would soon enough become depression and acceptance with a lot of more rocks in their way.

The blonde boy was standing at the helm, steering the small boat to the marsh and smiled a little to himself.

Life wasn’t perfect but it was good enough for him. His found family was there for him if his biological family wasn’t. His father would probably never change and yet, he sometimes felt that Luke loved him, somewhere deep down between the surface, between all the anger and the drinking.

He promised to himself that he would stand up to his father one day, that he would escape the poverty he had grown up with. He never wanted to be hungry again, never wanted to steal to survive.

One day he would get out of this life and make something out of it. He may hate his mother to some degree but she always wanted something better for him.

He wanted to make her proud. He wanted to make his friends proud.

Most of all he wanted to stop feeling worthless and he would find a way to do that.

He also promised to himself he would never lose someone again that was important to him and he would do everything for his friends.

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