#so much sin always

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

[dykedvonte]

Honestly a sorry from Curly would mean nothing to Anya.

I’m not saying she wouldn’t want to hear it, it’s a hollow vindication. She told him and he couldn’t hear her. He saw it and he couldn’t understand it. They both experienced it and he should apologize that it took that for him to get it. She already knows he’s sorry but what’s the point if neither of them can do anything about it? It’s earnest but at the same time what she wants an apology for is what Curlu can’t apologize for.

He can’t be sorry for what happened to her even if he is. Even if he carries that guilt with him until the day he dies it’s not all his to bare. The most heinous parts aren’t his weight even if he tries to balance it. A part of her bitterness is the fact he can’t be sorry for it all. She can’t just direct it all towards him even if she wants to. She was failed in so many ways by all of them. It hurts with him the most cause he had the power but they all did nothing in the grand scheme of things.

The one person who should apologize would never and could never, it’s not something you can be sorry for. She wants an apology, she needs one but what would it fix?

[ryllen]

miscellaneous

[lesbiamano]

some persona 2 headcanons of mine!! these are all for fun and extremely self indulgent as you can tell, so don't take them too seriously,,,

ever since i first came across the games and realized they lived in "sumaru city" i kept thinking "sumer?" so now they're all south-central iraqis 😫

[undefeatablesin]

Like just about everyone else does, the Good Hunter Ruza finds Lady Maria very ✨️compelling✨️

[igneous-crocnroll]

Axl and Ky argue about whether or not British cuisine or French cuisine is better

Id like to add that I went on a deep search in the interwebs on whether animals hatched from eggs had bellybuttons. The answer is: kinda?

[alxastrx]

When you're one of the most selfish mc who only saves people because it's part of a job you never wanted and did not get to chose or you would've died, who took your co-workers' morals and ideals because you didn't have any and desperately wanted to fit in somewhere, be it with the heroes or the villains, who's activelly haunted by one the most tragic past to have been created and suffer from a psychosis so bad (dare I say schizophrenia) that even your enemies acknowledged that you are mentally ill and objectively flawed in your judgement, never hesitated to try to kill anyone and has the most egoistic reason to be a good person but the fandom still thinks you're just a kind crybaby "I don't know what a gun is" homosexual twink.

[fairylando]

don't ask me why, but me and my friend were talking about how carlos is going to be free from fraudrrari in less than 20 days and we ended up comparing him to the virgin mary (i swear it will make sense and we both grew up in christian italian families as atheists) and... how her given festivities actually add up with some of his important dates ??? buckle up!

‧˚

⭒ "Festa dell'Assunzione di Maria" — august 15 she was raised to eternal life without bodily death, and very close to it carlos announced he signed with williams.

⭒ "La Natività della Beata Vergine Maria" — she was born on september 8th, he was born on september 1st (BOTH VIRGOS)!

⭒ "L'Immacolata Concezione" — december 8th, "from the first moment of her conception, the Blessed Virgin Mary was, by the singular grace and privilege of Almighty God, and in view of the merits of Jesus Christ, Savior of Mankind, kept free from all stain of original sin."... and what happens on december 8th? his last race in fraudrrari, exactly.

she was the lightly brushed by melancholy blue print after all!

[eliseliedl]

3rd run party! (Fane, The Red Prince, Ifan Ben Mezd and Lohse) Divinity Original Sin II 32 / ?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Pride month everyone B*) Allow me to reveal a little behind the scenes detail behind my Banner and Icon. Love was always winning <3

[lavellane]

writing post veilguard solas as theeeeee clingiest most reassurance-starved man in the world who literally needs to hold lavellans hand every second of the day for the next 6 years or he WILL fall untethered in the literal abyss of despair he willingly walked into in the end.

[eff-exor]

i don’t need to worry about my sins bc all dogs go to heaven, woof woof

[awittlebabbyboy]

did this template for funsies wunsies at oomfie's behest

[bird-girth]

CONSIDER: BLOODMONEY by Poppy as the signature poster track for Kira propaganda; abrasive, crude, caustic, and it is. fuck, it’s so good. I’d recommend it even if you aren’t all that much of a fan of hard rock - just for the broad connotation to Death Note’s, or for your own enjoyment!

[undefeatablesin]

Watch out ya'll, Sin's sketching Bloodborne comics again! 💀

[good-beanswrites]

My lyrics for Double!! I really loved this song and became like a thousand times more impressed by Deco27 and Natsuki Hanae after working with it for so long 😅 I chickened out of recording this one in the apartment but if anyone wants to cover it... lmk.... 👀 I can definitely put something together to help hear how the rhythms work, because I got it all to line up very nicely! (Lyrics under the cut and my little commentary in the tags)

(I’ve got you, leave it to me!)

Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change

Not a smile in this mess, you're doing your best, you say (wake up)

"Don't need a break" as you proceed to start breaking, both sleeping and waking makes you bleed

And now, reborn anew -- I'll take in on for you

Not your plan? Who gives a damn, I'm here and here is where I'll stay

It's just the two of us, nothing left to run from. You're safe now, your hero's come.

All I did was dream, is that a crime? Is that enough to name me guilty by?

"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?

Ah, I'm the one that saved you, don't you see? So tell me why the hell you cry to me!

Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- oh, sing to me.

Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change

Too late, your limits passed. Too late, yourself has cracked (goodnight)

If you persist I'll assist with releasing, keeping your peace is why I exist

And now reborn anew -- I'll take it on for you

(Oh, hello? Mom? It’s been a while. Yeah.. well, I mean, some days are hard but I’m doing alright, don’t worry. How’ve you been? I’ll go home next time I get some time off...)

The reason I'm alive, must be making sure that you survive

"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?

All I did was dream, did you forget? Go on and forgive me, I'm no threat.

Listen to me confess, honest. Eat your words and I bet, regret

Ah, I just tried to help, tried to be strong. So tell me why the hell it's all gone wrong

Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- don't sing me this song

Lost my memory

I'm double, it was unavoidable

Living painfully

I'm trying, as hard as possible

Tell me, tell me.

If I wasn't born, maybe this trouble --

Tell me, tell me.

It's all my fault