#so much of this is just transgenerational trauma

[lewis-winters]

The Haunting of Hill House AU please

ok so The Haunting of Hill House AU is based of Flannagan's show of the same name and not the original Shirley Jackson novel. Though I love both, the family dynamic in the show is what drew me in. Anyway, it was first spawned in this quick little post back in 2021 and has since become a real monster that I've been struggling to wrangle. It has explicitly trans!Lewis Nixon now! and it grapples with a lot of dysphoria that being trans and pregnant and also haunted by ghosts of dead little sisters and fathers brings!

Excerpt:

It starts with a house.

No. That's not right. For the kids, it starts with the house. Of course it does. They're kids, after all, and what little they understand of the world, they take it in stride. Nevermind that their mother is not really their mother, nevermind that she prefers to be a he. Nevermind that the name by which they know him by is not the name that is on the official papers. They don't mind, of course they don't, not when Papa gives them cuddles and tells them jokes and reads them stories until they sleep. Little by little, as they grow, Lewis finds it in himself to not mind, too. At least, not in front of them. So much of all of it doesn't seem to matter in the eyes of a child, and when all your life is preoccupied with a growing family and a loving husband, the intricacies of your own individual existence to the world you thought you wanted to be a part of washes away, quick, until all that matters is just five little boys with your real name on their lips and stars in their eyes. Until all the understanding you crave rests, safely, in the fragile chest of your husband, who has never seen you as anything but who you are. As his Lewis.

Lewis loves them. God, does he love them.

And for them, it starts with a house.

(It doesn't for Lewis.

For Lewis, it starts with Blanche.)

[598-inspiration]

Fatherhood as one of the Central Themes of Akane-Banashi/Akane & Kaisei as foils to each other

Having recently finished reading Akane Banashi, I have a number of analysis I want to write about, so I'll start with what I think is one of the central themes of the series: Fatherhood

Akane Banashi (Akane's story) begins with the ending of her dad's career as a Rakugoka.

Throughout the story, fatherhood takes shape in several different forms, not just the conventional form of Shinta's biological father-daughter relationship with Akane. But through non-blood related ways, like Shiguma's relationship with Akane, who is not just her master but a second father figure in her life who helped her achieve her full potential as a Rakugoka while growing up.

The main thing in common is that between her father's gentle personality of looking out for his family, and Shiguma's careful upbringing in teaching her the art of Rakugo, Akane had nothing but positive influences in her life, which helped shape her art and the person she became. Akane is a easily influenced person by her surroundings, and despite her talent, had she fallen on the wrong hands back then it would have likely caused her to become a completely different character from what we know now.

At the other end of the spectrum we have Kaisei.

Unfortunately, he had nothing but father-figures that would win no father of the year awards in his life.

Between a dead-beat dad who abandoned both him and his mother, and Issho who is seemingly just using him to project his ideals onto him.

All of this may have caused a form of unintentional transgenerational trauma to manifest itself on Kaisei, from Issho's own previous insecurities regarding his own master.

The reason why both him and Akane work as each other's main rivals is because they both started their training very early on, by actual masters.

The main thing currently dividing them is their two year age difference. (I will talk more about Issho's own darkness being passed onto Kaisei and why it won't turn out the same way, in another post.)

Issho and Shiguma were brought up by the same master but turned out completely different. Which brings up the idea that a person's personality can also be made up of what they choose to make of their shared experiences.

Regardless, much how Shiguma's traits are being painted on Akane and her stories

Issho's traits are being painted on Kaisei

Issho is not a character that should be judged as a bad/good person. While his upbringing of Kaisei can be questionable, more often than not, you don't CHOOSE to be a bad parent.

There's no guide to being a good parent, is just you hoping that your children don't make the same mistakes you did. And at the end these characters are just humans, and all humans are capable of making mistakes.

The stories told in the manga, are not just based on one or two things, but are meant to be layered and can be tied to the characters, telling and listening to them, in several different ways.

While him showing up to claim Akane as his pupil may have looked underhanded, I don't believe it was done with malicious intentions. He just has poor way of expressing himself.

Since a long time ago.

It should be remembered that he still chose to take in Kaisei, a kid he knew nothing about that wanted to help his mom. Because he knows what is like to have no money, and he rushed to take in Akane as his new pupil because he knows what is like to have your master/father-figure dying before you.

I believe the current arc, will go into further depth on how a father figure can influence the present and future of their children.

[deadqueernoldor]

Ok but does anyone else think about Orcrist and Glamdring? Like... they were from Gondolin, a realm that famously rarely opened its doors to any outsider, and only really joined active war efforts during the Nirnaeth once.

If they had been used/forged in Vinyamar, I'm sure that would have been just as noteworthy. First city of Turgon, and all that.

But they were classed as swords from Gondolin. Those swords inspired so much terror in the goblins in the misty mountains.

Do you know what absolute annihilation beasts Turgon (and Ecthelion) must have been to inspire transgenerational trauma responses in goblins inhabiting lands hundreds of miles from drowned Beleriand when they have only seen true battle twice (during the Nirnaeth and Gondolin's fall)?

Absolute madlads.

[boydykedevo]

I need your amber thoughts. I miss her I miss my wife tails-

BUT MY AIM IS GETTING BETTER

Sorry couldn’t resist andbkajsdb

Uhhh not 100% sure where to start lol but. I guess I’ll go with angsty thoughts, that’s kinda my bread and butter

I think Amber’s angst potential is right up there with Devo, they’re both really hurt people, she’s just less obvious about it. (I mean, I don’t think anyone in Founder’s Wake is really unaffected by the apocalypse. Even if you didn’t live through it, all the adults around you did, and you grow up hearing about a world that you’ll never get to experience*. It’s a transgenerational trauma. She also has all the stuff from her childhood with Shret but I’m blanking on that right now and I’m too lazy to open her wiki page lol)

Back on the shoreside, I think she fell in with Joshy’s crew mostly as a distraction. Can’t just sit there waiting for the world to end, might as well find a way to feel useful. Might as well find some camaraderie. You don’t have to think about it if you have some sort of purpose.

And since then, that hasn’t really changed. She lived through what’s probably the biggest life changing event possible, I think she clings to the stability Joshy and the finners offer. Big changes to her life stress her out. She has her purpose, so she doesn’t have to think about it. She gets snappy with Devo when he’s rude to Joshy because Joshy and what he represents is vital to her.

A while ago I called her a protagonist with just some guy syndrome, and that’s kinda what I meant; she just wants to go about her life in more or less the same way she’s been doing for the last 25 years, but she keeps ending up a protagonist.

*Okay actually now I’m imagining Devo and Zoox asking her about the surface and it kinda dredges up those feelings she mostly tries to ignore… the thought that not only is her world gone, but they, and so many other people too, aren’t even going to understand. I always linger on this one throwaway line in the Menagerie about how Devo wouldn’t recognize the animals cuz he never lived on the surface. Like, even the memory of the surface is dying out, and I think that would be a pretty sobering realization for Amber. She doesn’t let herself think about the surface much, so she still has a hefty amount of grieving left to do. That’s kinda tangential, but. Much to think about.

God uh. Does that work akshkajsnsks

[astroyongie]

Hey Yongie!!🩷 I hope you're doing well! I was wondering if you could help me with these weird dreams I've been having. They mostly revolve around me being pregnant or themes relating to pregnancy. Like for instance,the most recent ones were two nights ago, where in my dream I was pregnant and i was telling the father of my child (in the dream,I'm single in real life) that we were going to be parents and he was scared about being a good dad and screwing "my" kid up and I said "this is my child,it's ours. Not yours,not mine...ours. and it ended

And last night I had another dream where I knew I was pregnant but I can't really remember the details. There have been two other instances where I've dreamt about pregnancy related topics in dreams (like taking a pregnancy test and the results constantly changing from negative to positive)

And TW: Miscarriage for the last one

It was a rather emotional dream that woke me up in tears...like I was genuinely sobbing like I'd experienced an actual loss.

In the dream I was pregnant and my dream parnter (again some random person...usually a celebrity or something💀)and I were so excited then all of a sudden this women enters our apartment and tries to pray for me and the baby,I felt uncomfortable with it and said no but she was so insistent and forced her way to me and laid her hands on my tummy,I couldn't do anything about it. Then after she was done say said "the baby is gone,there's no baby" and I was like "what do you mean,my baby is right here",pointing to my tummy and there was a back and forth of her disagreeing with me and me saying I'm pregnant,then I got this weird feeling that she was right and that I no longer had the baby and I started sobbing and telling my dream partner to do something but he just stood still like a statue and then I woke up in tears.

I have no idea what to make of these dreams and it's been on my mind for a while. I'm 20 years old and single right now. Even though I do want kids someday,I definitely don't want them right now. I'm also very much single and not looking for love. One pregnancy dream would be okay,but recently it seems like they're too frequent to ignore. If you could help me in figuring out what they might mean,it would help alot

Also I love your blog sm...I always binge read all your posts every week😭😂and overall find this a safe place. You also have a very calming energy,like for some reason I imagine you as someone who's like a cute elf who lives in a cottage in the forest,surrounded by cute woodland creatures,very mother nature-esque....harmonious and calming. Whimsical and cute😂🩷 I just wanna give you a virtual hug sometimes (you and your cute kitties)

Thank you for your time🩷

First thank you for your supporting words ❤️

Now into your dream, that’s something tricky. Pregnancy dreams are usually the mean of birth of something new into our life (depending on people it could be a professional project, getting on that school we want, getting into a new relationship, ect). Miscarriage is the opposite so a project that cannot be concluded or meaning the path you are taking isn’t going to take your anywhere.

In your case I wonder if your dream isn’t related to transgenerational trauma. Perhaps someone in your family did had a miscarriage and your unconscious have been dragging the information through your self conscious (remember traumatic events are actually transcripts in our DNA).

[flintstill]

even aside from things happening directly to me in my own personal bubble that have left me with so much stress that it has destroyed me and altered my physiology to negatively impact my physical health and well being,

on TOP of that, for the past 708 days, every single day, has been an additional stress that while not happening directly to me, is all the more distressing because there is only so much I can actively do, an the stuff that has been happening directly to me has left me without the energetic resources to do much of those things. Which creates an additional draining stress for the utter sense of guilt about that. and this is on top of the fact that while not happening directly to me, is still incredibly personal, and personally affecting and stimulating of transgenerational trauma.

and people in my life, who know who I am and what my make up is, don't understand why i am so stressed (for various reason), but it never even fucking occurs to them the daily toll the past 708 days (and fucking longer than that too) have had, because it fucking faded to the background for so many fucking people in the world, which then brings a complicated kind of resentment into things

it's complicated and extremely painful and there's so much other pain going about

and i'm just trying to patch the fucking hole in my cup before it can even hold anything much less pour anything from it, because God knows I want to but I just fucking can't when there is such a gaping hole

[dysiver]

'that's the same person' WHAT WHAT DID I MISS?!

me every time I explain lore to anons

anyways

Albert was a Crusader of the church since 500 years ago. He was picked up from the same village Dys woke up in after he last died and forgot all his memories. He was born in that village and lived with his family there for years until he showed the potential of being able to wield holy magic. He was the oldest of four siblings, and since his village was so far away from the capitol he agreed to join the church if they would aid his village from demon attacks.

The church agreed to protect his family, and so he left his home.

For four hundred years Albert was fighting demons and eliminating their ranks. He was, and is, the most powerful crusader the church was able to create.

The reason why his world was being attacked by demons was because Baal set foot on it. Baal is the creator of all demons, and he is the seed his father sends to worlds where the church has already been established to spread "evil". Baal is Lucifer's (or Lucy) firstborn and he follows his father's word unconditionally. Which is funny cuz Lucifer does the same with his, aka God.

Because Gods are constantly fighting for territory, they expand their believers by creating new worlds or conquering worlds that Dexon (Dys' dad) already created and set life in. They do this because the higher their influence the stronger they are, so the more people believe in them, the more powerful they can be.

So God acts as the "good" in the worlds he conquers, while Lucy acts as the "evil". They play those roles to fool humans or the people who decide to believe in them, that way, they have a never-ending cycle of believers since if you believe in God, then you have to believe in the evil he's fighting, Lucy. Basically, Lucy plays the role of the villain to keep them alive, and he does this because he loves God above all else and wants to be the only one he needs.

Baal does it because of the same reason. (In case it wasn't clear enough, the majority of this revolves around transgenerational trauma and also the theory of intergenerational trauma. It is a core element based in this world)

Baal has been alive for millions of years and he is far too powerful to simply manifest in worlds that aren't ready yet for God-like beings to decent, because of this he needs a vessel.

Albert (who has been fighting Baal and destroying his armies while Baal has fun creating chaos) happens to be the perfect vessel for him. He is the only living being in that world that would be able to handle a fraction of his power without destroying the core body.

The purer the soul and heart, the more it can withstand a demonic possession. But for a demon to be successful in possessing someone, that person's heart has to break completely. That way they cannot fight the possession.

So Baal starts his plotting and the first thing he does is corrupt the church and send Albert in long, hopeless journeys in which he cannot win no matter what. He does this for years, until finally giving him a bit of hope by making it seem like the demons were finally gone, and just as Albert is finally getting ready to go back home, Baal attacks Albert's village, and the attack kills his whole family. From his siblings and dad to his nephews and nieces, everyone died. Worse of all, Albert found out that the reason why the attack succeded was that the church took away the barriers that kept his village safe and also the guards since it was a waste for them to be there in such a remote village.

Albert loses everyone and is betrayed by the church that he serves. This breaks him, and so Baal is now able to possess him. Once Baal takes possession of someone, he pretty much devours their soul and they become a part of him, that's why he is able to blend in right away, cuz he obtains their memories and mannerisms.

The Albert we meet when Dys wakes up is already Baal and has been for at least a hundred years. He is getting ready to finally bring his father into this world to complete the cycle and make this world their own like they do with every other world they take over.

The reason why Dys is even in that world is because Baal snatched him from the world Adriene placed Dys in after he died. He did so because Dys is an unawakened Death God and Baal needs an unawakened God's body cuz they are the only ones that can withstand being Lucy's vessel.

[fcrmata]

.

[tracingpatternswrites]

I just got an e-mail notification that a fic was posted which had been inspired by something I’ve written. At first it made me super happy (a part of me still is so astonished that something I’ve written has inspired anyone to write anything) but now I’m feeling a bit... I don’t know. This might get rambly so I’m putting it below a cut.

The fic in itself is...great, really. It’s good, absolutely heart breakingly sad, well written and dark. I love a good dark fic, love reading them when I’m in the mood, and this fic is quite honestly right up my alley in a lot of ways. 

It’s just... the fic is based on Secrets in the Black of night, a PWP I wrote for the Wolfstar Bingo for the prompt Slytherin!Sirius and (as far as I’m aware) tagged appropriately. Mine’s a dub-con fic and tagged as such, but it is essentially a PWP with no real dive into the characters or their history or where they come from or where they’re going. 

The work associated with it is not that. It’s a deep dive into the psychological aspect of trauma, tagged with both MCD and non-con.

This is not about writing about these things. As I said, I like reading dark fic myself and especially if it’s well written (which I think this is). It’s also tagged appropriately so that’s not an issue. There is just...something in the A/N that, and I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but it’s left me feeling a bit...I don’t know. Sad? 

So in short, in my fic they’re 7th year students at Hogwarts, Sirius is every part the pure-blood Black heir and a (suspected) Death Eater. He finds out about Remus being a werewolf and uses it to essentially blackmail Remus into sleeping with him. In my fic the dub-con is quite heavily hinted, but as I said, it’s a PWP so there’s no real character development or nothing to explore any of the characters’ reasons to why they’re doing what they’re doing. 

I don’t really have a problem with someone diving into the minds of these characters and evolving them. But the A/N states: 

Warning: this is a formally-educated-in-the-subject survivor's take on the problematic and generally misunderstood nuances and subtleties of emotional dependence, trauma bonding, and transgenerational cycles of abuse. It addresses briefly the progressive breaking down of the human psyche, its effects, and its consequences.

/../

Take note: It is stated clearly in the original that Remus was forced into the situation by a more powerful individual using leverage to induce submission. Thus, emotional manipulation and coercion and NOT BDSM. By psychological definition, such a situational dynamic is not and can not be consensual even among consent-capable adults. Reminder: these are seventeen-year-old school kids. They are more vulnerable. Trauma has a deeper and more devastating impact. An abuser is ALWAYS responsible for their actions, regardless of their age.

End notes:

You were warned. I expect there will be strong opinions - clap-back at my clap-back, if you will. Feel free to discuss, but hate will be removed. Personal attacks will be banned.

As a note: coercion is not consent. Forcing someone to consent is not consent. Arousal is not consent. Arousal does not equal desire. Participation is not consent. Victim confusion does not equal consent. Continuing despite the above is assault. Lack of penetration does not mean it's not rape.

And, like, I know all of this. I know all of this in real life, but my fic was not that. And I just have this overwhelming sense of wanting to explain myself. I feel, like, I don’t know. Guilty that I didn’t clarify this in my own A/N, maybe? 

I don’t know. Maybe I’m reading way too much into it, nowhere does it say that they didn’t like my fic, but it just feels a bit...passive aggressive? Or something. I don’t know.

Their fic is still amazing and I’d like to tell them that, but I’m not sure how to leave a comment without saying anything about how their A/N made me feel, and I don’t know how to do that without coming across as if I’m just over-reacting or trying to make up excuses. I just know that now I’m feeling a bit sad and uncomfortable about the whole thing.

Gah. I don’t know. Maybe this is just me spending way too much time thinking about this on a Saturday night 😕 

(If you are the author of this fic feel free to reach out because I would love to talk about it, and your fic was absolutely amazing)

[jeanmoreaux]

Hi, I'm absolutely loving all of the literature talk (your taste is exquisite<3) and wanted to ask you what you love about Frankenstein (if you would care to elaborate). I just finished it today and enjoyed it, but didn't love it and I would love to hear your view of the book

hi! i am glad you enjoy the occasional literature talk—it's what i live and breathe for :') i think my love for frankenstein really comes down to how closely i worked with the text over the years. i think i read it for 3 different classes throughout my academic life, so i had the chance to really read the text thoroughly and engage with it from different angles. what i love about it most is probably how much is just *there* in the text; it's about parenthood, it's about nature vs. nurture, it's about hubris, it's about humanity and what it means to be human, it's about the romantic sentiment, it's about the consequences of your actions, it's about the scientific progress and how to (not) approach it and the responsibility that comes with that, it's about the consequences of being ostracised to the human psyche, it's about the cycle of violence, it's about transgenerational trauma, it's about what it feels like to live up to other people's idea of you, it's about being forced into a life you haven't chosen for yourself, it's about taking responsibility, it's about language, it's about writing and the creation of art...... and that's not all of it! i mean, you can adopt basically any of the lenses of the literary analysis toolkit and have the text make sense from that perspective (from historical criticism to marxist, feminist or queer theory -> the feminist and queer theory ones make for such interesting readings of the text. i mean i am sure you've heard about how the creature can be read as an manifestation of victor's homoerotic desires (and subsequently a externalisation of his internalised homophobia). the queer subtext in victor's dynamics with henry and elizabeth is definitely there. and ofc when looking at it from a feminist perspective how there's a clear absence of women with agency in the story and as a consequence the absence of female qualities and how all that contributes to the characters' eventual downfalls. yet the story is framed, presented AND centred by (indirect) women's narratives that seem to be almost overshadowed or suppressed—women's writing is essential to the existence of the story BUT there is only the indirect allusion to women narrators, we never actually read from a female writer (think captain robert walton's letters to his sister margaret walton saville in the most outer layer of the story and safie's letters at its core -> also consider the historical implications of how the writing of narrative letters was often practiced by women etc.).) do you see what i mean??? that's just a couple of examples and far from an exhaustive list of readings!!!

((there is a text post that provoked this ask that brushes on some other aspects of the novel.))

this novel really gives you so much to think about and talk about when you take the time to really engage with the text and sit with it. that also makes it great for rereads bc every time you go in with another focus you'll get something else out of it. and i love when a novel is able to work on so many levels.

and ofc it's also such a monumental text. that fact alone manages to sparks awe in me???? i mean, mary shelley really wrote the first sci-fi novel at 17 and lay the foundation for one of the biggest genres we know today. that's just mind-blowing to me as well.

that's the gist of it, really. but yeah, i have a lot of love for this novel in my heart. it's definitely my favourite classic.

[hottestthingalive]

actually tonight i’d like to talk about an oft-unaddressed issue that i, personally, have noticed: the transgenerational trauma that affects gen z kids, and how much it gets overlooked.

for those of you who don’t know, transgenerational trauma, often referred to as generational trauma, speaks to how trauma can be passed down. there is both a genetic component to this (enduring traumatic events can permanently change the physical and mental chemistry of a person, and those changes can be passed down to children of those who endured it) and a societal component, (wherein societal norms change to fit said event).

how does this affect gen z, you ask?

most of the people my age were born after events like 9/11, Chernobyl, and the Cold War, all traumatizing events which deeply affected our parents. my parents, and many of those of my friends, were raised with families who were going through/went through the Great Depression, or the Vietnam War, or World War II. my mother’s grandfather and uncles were pilots in both wars. her grandmother taught her Depression recipes and strategies. she’s taught them to me. and that’s just her side of the family, and just a few of the events that affected them, and America as a whole.

when i was a child, i was taught to press myself against walls and into closets in case of gunmen. my parents had me help them store money in the house in case of emergency. i learned to keep keys in my fists when walking alone just in case when i was ten. my mother explained 9/11 to me when i was five.

i was cautioned about cybersecurity and violence at the same time that i was cautioned about politics and economics: as a child. my parents, and their parents, and their parents, taught me everything that had happened to them, and then, because i knew, expected me to do better.

as a child.

has anyone noticed that our generation is expected to be activists, now? because our world is so fucked that many of us, products of generations of hurt and pain and trauma, have been forced to stand up for ourselves, because no one else was going to do it? and that that then became not the horrible, terrifying thing it should be, but the standard for us?

we are in the perfect storm. we are the children of the internet, of widespread information and love and joy but also widespread knowledge of the hurt and pain of everyone, everywhere. and we are also the children of accumulated misery, the trauma that almost no one dealt with or processed and just passed on to us. we are the generation with more mental health issues than any other living one. that isn’t a coincidence.

despite what some people say, it is not just the internet that has put so much responsibility onto our shoulders; it’s that transgenerational trauma, too, giving us a sky to hold up. but we are not atlas, because unlike atlas, we never did anything wrong, never did anything to deserve it, never fought the war and lost. are we the hesperides, eternal guardians of the garden? are we heracles, made to lift the cosmos in exchange for an apple? are we just the unnamed victims, prometheus’ children of clay, the playthings of the gods, those who suffer for the machinations of immortals above?

i don’t know.

but i do know this sky shouldn’t be ours to hold, not yet, and it isn’t fair to blame us being given that burden entirely on the internet. that’s just not realistic.

we don’t have a choice in being heroes, now. i’m so sorry, but that’s the truth; we can’t just leave the world to be destroyed. we can’t stop protesting, educating, fighting. but you can’t let this pass on to your children, either.

get help. talk about your issues. save yourselves from what society has made you, and save the next generation from it too. we have to be heracles, but holding up the sky was only ever a footnote in his story; don’t make it a keystone of yours, and don’t make it the foundation for the next ones.

[raccoonacademia]

A kind of productive yet not so productive couple of days

I had planned to try and be really productive after Monday, but alas I haven’t really been. All my classes are self study classes which means that I need to make up my own schedule and deadlines for everything, which isn’t really motivating for me. I kind of need deadlines and pressure to really apply myself and make things happen.

One of my best friends just got dumped so she came over and crashed at my apartment so she wouldn’t have to be alone with her thoughts. This meant that I kind of had to put my own shit on hold to be there for her, which I didn’t mind at all - I love being there for my friends, they are like extended family and I cherish them. 

While she took naps on my bed I tried to get some work done and I actually got started on my analysis for my thesis. It wasn’t a lot of text that I managed to produce, but it felt good to at least get something done. I got my friend to eat som vegetarian pho so that felt like a big accomplishment on my behalf.

Today I had to go get tested for covid since I had been in contact with a person who now has a fever and feels really sick. I feel fine but I don’t want to accidentally infect someone so better get checked out. Then I had a meeting with my editors for the school news paper I am editor-in-chief for. The meeting lasted for about an hour and I feel like we got a lot of stuff sorted out for the upcoming issue, which I am really excited about. It’s a really small paper but it’s a lot of fun and will look great on my resumé.

The rest of today I am planning on working on my essay about transgenerational trauma from the Holocaust for one of my comparative literature classes about trauma in literature and ethics in reading. The class has been really interesting and I’ve had some mind-opening reads in the last couple of months. 

Hopefully the rest of the week isn’t as tough and draining as the last couple of days since I really want to try and get as much stuff done as possible so that I can move on to other classes. 

[marv3l-drag0ns]

Hi!

It's been bothering me for a bit, but I don't have the spoons to do the research but how do you think OFA stores power? Because all that energy has to come from somewhere. Like Eri's power is stored in her horn and both of them have stockpile quirks.

Hello! I hope you’re having a wonderful inauguration day (if you’re from the USA, otherwise I hope you’re having a good day in general)

Some information may be more basic as energy is not my forte. I’m also trying to be more scientific rather than just accepting “ah yes it’s plot” :) One For All (OFA) breaks a lot of previously thought out rules about quirks. It’s A) Transmittable, and B) a stockpiler (which apparently includes quirks, which is a whole other barrel of fish).

The idea that OFA stores energy and distributes it as strength is slightly unrelated (Source1) due to specific proteins promoting muscle growth (which is the more common version of strength). OFA may be a slightly less short-term version of hysterical strength, in which the wielder loses their mental barriers and is capable of lifting incredible weights while destroying their muscles (sound familiar? *coughMidoriyacough*).

The energy transfer aspect of OFA is just- really unrealistic. Organisms can’t really transfer energy to each other, besides a few symbiotic relationships between small photosynthetic cells and larger but simple jellyfish/sea slugs. (Source2, specifically the table). However, there are chemosynthetic autotrophs (organisms that make their own food), which do not rely on sunlight. That is probably the key to a large aspect of the energy boosting.

It is not unrealistic for human bodies to produce odd chemicals in the MHA universe (Mina Ashido producing Acid, Katsuki Bakugou producing nitroglycerin). Therefore, a quirk that produces a kind of chemosynthetic bacteria to boost energy levels in the body would not be too unrealistic. If the bacteria was particularly adept at spreading, and was able to coexist benignly, being able to spread to other hosts using the current host’s DNA would also make sense. Ignoring the “consent” aspect of it, of course.

The bacteria’s energy could also just be used to strengthen msucle/bone fibers rapidly, while also lowering the mental barriers and allow for hysterical strength.

Another (similar) option for energy levels would be something similar to an electric eel. Electric eels utilize sodium that passes through ion channels to temporarily reverse polarity (Source3). This would also explain Midoriya’s seemingly electrical output when he activates “Full Cowl”. Harnessing the electricity produced, similar to an electrical circuit, would also allow for energy. However, this does not really allow for energy transfer/stockpiling.

If the bacteria theory mentioned above were also able to be utilized similar to stem cells, a rudimentary ability to grow the organs necessary for the electric eel idea would be possible. It is also possible that Izuku Midoriya’s younger age (as I currently do not know when the other holders received OFA) allowed for more flexible stem cells which is why previous holders did not exhibit visible energy outputs.

If it is a bacteria type, evolution would also allow for more efficient bacteria which would produce more energy.

The most likely form of sustenance for the bacteria would be a mix of muscle proteins and regular carbohydrates. All Might requires that Izuku Midoriya builds up muscle so that his limbs don’t explode off (Episode… 2? 3?). However, Midoriya never bulks up too much, either because he is still young and prone to growth spurts or because whatever OFA runs off of consumes the muscle mass at a higher rate than it might decrease naturally. Proteins do not provide much energy normally, however, so supplementing the bacteria with something else like carbohydrates is probably good for keeping energy up.

Since the host of OFA is also technically supporting a second organism (bacteria are small (:  ) a heightened metabolism would not be out of place. The heightened metabolism would also allow for the host to go through energy more rapidly, necessitating the buildup of the bacteria’s evolutionary potential which would allow for the “stockpiling” part of OFA.

I am not qualified to speak about transgenerational trauma, but a similar idea may apply to the quirk/spirit imprint part of OFA. Bacteria adjusts to the immune system/DNA of the host, genetically imprints (Source4), and when transferred brings the imprint along. Since only Izuku Midoriya received the quirks, it is likely that the lack of a quirk gene may allow for the genetic imprint the bacteria has to take hold easier. This doesn’t explain why All Might never received any quirks, unless it’s once again a case of hysterical strength as Izuku Midoriya has faced more life-threatening issues in a shorter amount of time than All Might (The curse of the anime protagonist)

To summarize: the most realistic explanation is a chemosynthetic bacteria that feed on muscle proteins to produce energy that either heightens strength/resilience with no middleman or strengthens muscle and bones to allow for less damaging hysterical strength. It’s also possible the bacteria carry genetic imprints and/or stem cells capable of growing organs similar to those of an electric eel.

I hope you have a great day and that I was able to explain my thoughts haha

[tcthetouch]

𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎'𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓃𝑔, 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒶 𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎'𝓇𝑒 𝓊𝓃𝒶𝒻𝓇𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝒶𝓇𝑒. 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒.

『 jamie lee curtis. sixty-one. cis woman. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that JUDITH MILLER from FAIR LANE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -CYNICAL & -SELFISH. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool “RETIRED” ACTRESS  and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +MAGNETIC & +WITTY. i hope i see them around again! 『 may. 21. est. she/her. 』

hello my pals ! after a very long day, i am finally here with an intro for a sexy lowkey demon !

BACKGROUND:

triggers: emotional abuse, brief mention of war, brief mention of considered abortion, substance abuse, brief implication of child neglect, brief mentions of death (but like.... from old age)

So… I’m currently too tired to do the ‘whole chart,’ but… a Sagittarius. Know this.

Now, to understand our dear Judith, you must first understand her parents. Her mother was a wealthy young woman, progressive in her views on social issues… for the time. Nonetheless, she was expected to hold up the standards of the time. Her father was the younger brother of a man deemed ‘a great soldier’ who died fighting in WWII. Followed by the memory of him and his own parents’ obsession with the man, he placed pressure on himself to live up to that standard. Shame there was no war………………….

They met at Judith’s mother’s debutante ball and hit it off. It was, what they perceived to be, a match made in heaven. But that’s always easy to say – it’s harder to prove when a good night culminates in an unexpected pregnancy. To avoid any public scandal on her part, Judith’s mother and father married before she began showing and moved to Mapleview where she would become an excellent mother and he would live up to his brother’s standards by… he was still figuring it out… maybe making the next great scientific advancement? or writing the next great American novel?

Sadly, in spite of her lifetime’s worth of training, Judith’s mother… proved to lack natural maternal instinct. Perhaps it was passed down from her own mother, transgenerational trauma beginning long, long, long ago. Judith’s father was so consumed with his grand ideas that he hadn’t the time to help! Between becoming the next Walt Whitman one day and the next Albert Einstein the next, all while working for his father-in-law, he just didn’t have any time at all!

Their marriage grew strained and, as Judith grew, they made it even clearer that she was the cause. If she, herself, didn’t do something spectacular with her life, then it was all for nothing!

Her father wasn’t forced into the Vietnam War as a part of the drafting lottery. No, as it grew bigger, as the army grew more desperate, as she began slowly maturing, as his marriage continued falling apart, he voluntarily entered in 1965, when Judith was seven. Before drafting even began!

Before he entered the war, Judith was the victim of plenty of degrading remarks and the occasional Unusually Odd Punishment (think bojack horseman w like beatrice seeing ~7y/o bojack take a cigarette and forcing him to smoke all of it bc he couldn’t waste a perfectly good cigarette!). However, the remarks grew more biting after he left for “the war effort.” The two moved back to California, her mother’s birthplace, to be closer to her mother’s father – an even better source of income when his sympathies were being played on.

...but it was suddenly back-to-work, no-sympathies-for-you when the war ended and Judith’s father was still alive… and, furthermore, when the war was lost. 

With her parents’ marriage worse off than ever, Judith’s unconscious attempts to please them and live up to their expectations began sooner than they would have had the war been won. Or had her father been shot. 

Probably.

Commercials began at seventeen, but they weren’t impressive. Minor roles began at eighteen, but they weren’t impressive. It wasn’t until she was picked up by an actual agent at twenty that she began actually shining, so to speak. 

Which is actually a great accidental pun on my part, as her first big role was, much like JLC’s, in one of the first slasher movies ever made. Hoorah! But it still wasn’t impressive. It wasn’t big or prestigious, Katharine Hepburn wouldn’t have taken the role. 

But what was even less impressive? 

The pregnancy that followed shortly thereafter. 

Her first thought was to find a doctor who ‘specialized’ in such ‘inconveniences.’ Between the knowledge that a lack of maternal instinct ran in her blood, all women in her lineage getting mistreated to the point that they were simply unfit, as well as the knowledge that she would have to immediately quit the career that had just begun if she wanted to raise the child… 

But the father wound up being a hurdle. He was meant to be a one-night-stand, but he started showing up… again… and again… and again… until she relented and confessed to him that she was pregnant with his child (so she assumed, at least). He was insistent that she keep it… so the compromise became she wouldn’t abort it, but she would immediately hand it off to the man to raise on his own.

Daniel, named by his father, was born. Judith kept in occasional contact, but ultimately tried to leave that chapter behind her.

After that small bump in the road, her agent began lining up more career offers for her. They ranged from OK-I-guess to Not-Katharine-Hepburn-But-Close-Enough. So she clearly went for the latter ones!

Now, for someone who tried to stay clear-headed enough… it became pretty hard as she grew more popular, was invited to more parties, and… given the decade, was surrounded by cocaine! Thus began some more god-awful decisions, a list so long even Leo Tolstoy would put it down before he could finish reading it.

A few years through her increasingly successful career and she found out that she’s gotten pregnant yet again, this time being the result of a one-night-stand had during a borderline bender. For a few days, she obviously considered abortion again. But… how good would it be for her image if she cleaned up and had the baby… and, who knows! maybe she would break the chain of terrible mothers! if she was willing to sacrifice hedonism, then she was clearly doing something right! and… she also felt some remorse for barely keeping in contact with Daniel… so hoorah! replacement!

Turns out she also didn’t have that mothering instinct :\

But it was not, at all, for lack of trying. She never intentionally mistreated her child, Mia (named for Mia Farrow) – she had family days with her and hung out with her and… tried to figure out how to bond with her. She was never cruel like her mother or her mother’s mother or mother’s mother’s mother, so on and so forth and what have you, but… she was Innocently Insensitive. Still caught up in The Scene, there were some nights that were… very loud when she forgot Mia was trying to sleep and invited a bunch of people over. 

Some hedonistic tendencies returned and she found herself allowing a nanny to care for the child more and more often. Never malicious, never cruel, even asked Danny Devito to be Mia’s godfather… but still wound up being a really bad mom.

When Mia moved out, she was beginning to realize she was too old to continue going down the road she was on – to continue making the same mistakes over and over. One child was college-aged, the other was… somewhat older, although she’d lost track of the years. Yeah, she sent birthday cards and made calls every year, but time had just begun blurring together…

As a side-note, this was also around the time she was encouraged to write a memoir. She wound up having to get a memoirist which is a wc!!

The “best thing possible” happened when her mother died a year ago. Her father had already passed, but that was in Fresno – a quick trip. Her mother died in Mapleview, where her roots were laid. Also pls picture her eulogy for her mother like the eulogy in “Free Churro.” Anyway...

So what did Judith do?

Up and disappeared! 

It would’ve been a really excellent publicity stunt… if she’d ever returned. 

She likes to pretend she’ll never return to Los Angeles. The mountain air is so clean and crisp, life is so much simpler, people are so much less… corrupt.

Alas… somewhere in the back of her mind, has many plans to return to her old life. But she needs to make amends first, right?

TL;DR:

(tread lightly if any triggers under ‘backstory’ are triggers for you!)

born in mapleview. parents were awful but also it was a case of transgenerational trauma so there are nuances there. father “abandoned” her and her mom to go fight in the vietnam war bc he wasn’t able to fight in wwii like his brother. came back and joined them in fresno and judith’s mom was like “well u guys lost.... cant say it was unexpected with someone like u fighting :\” judith was like “well i’ve learned i’m what ruined their marriage even tho i’m also the reason they got married so guess i’ll go make something of myself bc i want them to be proud.” eventually got cast in a halloween-esque movie, because of course. got pregnant, yeet’d it to the father, “it” being daniel. became a class-a hedonist. got pregnant again, but got clean and kept her, named her “mia”. was a pretty good mom for a while, then forgot that kids weren’t “used” to the 1980s/90s equivalent of modern-day raves. mia left for college. judith was like “wait,,, im too old 2 keep living this life omg.” mom died a year ago. was like “oh wow perfect excuse to come back to mapleview and pretend i never lived in los angeles ever in my entire life goodbye all ties and connections!!!”

PERSONALITY/MISC.:

spent the majority of her life trying to live up to the expectations set by her mom when she basically said “you better be something great to make up for being alive” + trying to unconsciously make up for ‘ruining’ her parents’ marriage.

ngl family took inspiration from the sugarman-horseman family in bojack horseman bc i just finished rewatching it and :\ i miss it :\ which, in turn, means there’s a tiny bit of muse inspo from the eponymous, but,,,,,,,, like she may not be a good person,,,,,,, but if u’ve so much as seen up to s2e11,,,,, she aint THAT bad.

further basis was fictional director kelsey jannings (of such fame as “women who love women who love recycling”) when she said that celebrities tend to stagnate at the age they got famous. and judith got famous when she was 20.

I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO MAKE IT EXCESSIVELY CLEAR THAT SHE NEVER HAD MALICIOUS INTENTS TOWARDS HER CHILDREN. she just knew she wasn’t ready to be a mother with daniel - it was terrible timing and she genuinely worried about how she would be as a mother ( considering how poor maternal instincts were... basically passed down through generations ) - and she didn’t know how to connect with mia, especially as an addict in the hollywood machine that was literally filled with drugs, thus proving her hypothesis that she would be a poor mother correct. like... I JUST NEED TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THERE WAS NO ABUSE INVOLVED. SHE AT LEAST DID BETTER THAN HER MOTHER WITH THAT ASPECT.

but, as marina once said, “[she’s] now becoming [her] own self-fulfilled prophecy. oh, oh no! oh no! oh no!”

saddie disguised as a baddie.

also spent the majority of her life as an absolute hedonist. remains one, but is currently clean and trying to remain that way... maybe...

wants to be good so very bad, but doesn’t know how to be.

in spite of said hedonistic and escapist tendencies, she does have a very strong work-ethic. you know. thanks to both her parents + her capricorn moon.

no way to avoid saying she’s selfish, though. no way to.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

** all are open to any gender

her other child (a wc on the main!)

her memoirist (a wc on the main!)

her childhood friend from when she was still living in mapleview (a wc on the main!)

some fans! idk!

arm candy. pls. she’s bi so. they can be a himbo or a herbo or a thembo. 

you see she’s decently older than all of the characters so i feel like most of this will rely on brainstorming and/or chemistry in threads

FEEL FREE TO EITHER LIKE THIS OR HMU 2 PLOT!!

[gays-in-spaceee]

i have a theory about sisko and i needed to know if people agree with me or not

OKAY SO the theory is that Sisko suffers from intergenerational/transgenerational trauma (meaning he still feels the traumatizing effects of slavery, the civil rights movement and police brutality, also possibly explains why he’s reluctant to visit vic’s lounge bc of the time period it’s set in even though humanity has acknowledged it’s history and overall risen above discrimination based on race (sorta), and even though kasidy doesn’t seem to care as much as sisko does and encourages him to visit anyways) and that trauma is somewhat amplified by his connection to the prophets. The prophet part of him is also what allows him to look through time through benny russell’s eyes (since benny russell is an ancestor of sisko i’m pretty sure they confirmed that one time I could be wrong) and at the same time allows benny russell to get a clearish vision of the future/life sisko lives, and what inspires him to start writing about ds9 and maybe is also the reason he sees his coworkers, friends, etc. as human versions of the people sisko has in his life, and also maybe why he momentarily sees the cops beating him as dukat and weyoun. also the connection between benny and sisko is strong as hell since in image in the sand when benny russell starts hesitating to continue writing his story sisko also hesitates to open the orb of the emissary. And the reason benny russell is getting clear images of the future just as sisko is getting clear images of the past is bc to the prophets time isn’t linear.  

idk if any of this makes sense (bc i was up at 3 am when my brain did this to me) and it still doesn’t explain everything in a sci fi context. but I still wanted to know if this makes sense to anyone else or if anyone had a similar idea cause I was really excited about it. 

[emilations1111]

🌺 Pick A Number Tarot Reading 🌺

No.1- it is time to get your emotions-mainly your temper-in check. It is perfectly healthy to feel anger, but it is not healthy to be carrying it around with you day after day. You don’t have to do that to yourself. Don’t you deserve to feel happy? If you have been struggling to take the first step in changing your life, Scorpio is a welcome omen. Allow bad habits and negative thoughts to die, as this leaves room for newer and better things to flourish. This opportunity is a gift and when you do take it the whole world will open up. Good luck ✨

No.2- The flower petals begin to wilt and fall, and you may be feeling anxious about letting go of their beauty. It is important to remember that they are just getting out of the way, so the seeds can be spread by the wind. Like the flower, you also need to release what is blocking your potential. Be sure to make a note of what did work for you and apply that to the situation next time. Good luck 🍀

No.3- feeling jealous and angry? These are both healthy emotions, but don’t let them consume you entirely or you may not be invited to the party. It might feel satisfying to lash out in the moment, but if you channel that anger into something more productive, you will yield much better results. ERIS can also point to transgenerational trauma and its effect on our daily lives. We carry the stresses of our ancestors inside of us and this shapes our responses to certain triggers on a cellular level. These traumas can be on an immediate family level, but also a societal level. Remember that the things you are feeling are valid. Good luck 💐

No.4- if you have been expecting news or communication about an important issue, it is right around the corner. When you receive it, be sure to logically weigh the pros and cons before sending back your answer. Due diligence is key when mercury is involved. Not expressing yourself leads to a buildup of anxiety. You can’t expect other people to read your mind. Thoughts can be a conscious action: positive ones lead to a positive attitude; Vice versa. Good luck 🌹