#so much i didn't get to say in this post bc i got tired
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mikecardenmpreg · 2 days ago
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miscellaneous tai encounters not worthy of their own posts
getting greeted with a YEEEAAAAHHHHH and a high five from mike because i was wearing the shirt
me and andy talking about managers from hell
talking about ska influence on tai with adam (he doesn't hear it the way i do)
listening to bill and adam argue over what scenes were in flannigan and mr. jane and which were in double duel
me saying jokingly saying "who's favorite band is ween anyway?" and adam going "mine" 🫣
andy excusing himself from adam, mike, and jamie by saying WE (him, me, and brittany) were gonna get dinner (we did not get dinner with andy but we did go to the buffet at the same time)
bill's dead on colin meloy impression
jamie remembering me from literally 7 years ago and going "you changed your hair" girl yeah it's been 7 years i hope so
jamie telling us a crazy story from that exact show 7 years ago
telling jamie about the hearing loss i got in my left ear from said show
honestly just talking to jamie he's so chill
mike talking about why he didn't bring his 5 year old on the cruise with him: [hollow, tired, stressed out voice] he's too much
bill senior showing everyone baby pics of bill in the crowd and william going "c'mon man!" when he found out
on that same note, someone showed bill and bill sr. a really old pic they took of bill at a show in like 2004 and bill sr. goes "that's you!" and bill goes "yeah i know"
mike pulling his tech, snow, out of thin air and introducing us to him and telling us how amazing he is and how he does everything and snow dying from embarrassment and then immediately leaving
william asking me on TWO separate occasions "where's santi?" BITCH!!!! this literally caused me psychic damage
seeing jamie wander around in his overalls like the little hobbit he is
me saying to mike "bill tells me you have a sense of humor" and him going "i do!" (i still don't believe him)
im paraphrasing bc i don't exactly remember what he said to me but i remember the sentiment but mike was telling me about how pre-split shows kinda lost their charm because he was doing the same thing day in and day out and how what they're doing now is a lot more special to him 🥲
get mike a fidget ring 2025
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salswisteria · 3 months ago
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SPOILERS FOR MALEVOLENT 45
(malevolent bingo bonus as the end)
THIS WAS SUCH A CUTE EPISODE IM SCARED FOR 46 😭
The way Arthur and John are just commuting they're being sweet to each other, they're being nice, they're activity treating eachother with such care ITS SO WIRBKEBDLSBRE
The deep level of care you can hear in their voices as they talk to eachother with so much comfort. Opening up to eachother about themselves, while taking care to make sure that they don't hurt the other with some long dragged out misunderstanding like they used to do so often back in the day.
The level of progress that these two have made within themselves�� as well as with eachother— is just so heartwarming to see. The fact that we now fully have confirmation that Arthur has absolutely wanted to kill himself because of what he did to Faroe, and Faroe's spirit being so darn happy that he doesn't feel that way anymore! Faroe has always been with him and she loves her papa just as much as Arthur loves her.
For John, one was that small moment where he said something about camp fires being so "human." to which he and Arthur respond with laugh and agreement. It's such a small but heartwarming moment where you can just hear the character development brimming out of John. I'm personally not able to put it into words but for those who get it, get it.
I'd love to keep expanding on this because even though this episode is so much more melancholy then how our usual malevolent episodes are like, it means so much for our main characters as a whole and as well as their relationship.
This episode shows us that John and Arthur are different now. Their relationship is different now. They are no longer the John and Arthur we knew for so long, and that's wonderful.
But I am unfortunately burnt out but still have work to do so I should save my energy TT
Now IF Harlan and the Patreons decide to ruin this for us— I will absolutely riot in more even kidding— BUT IN ALL HONESTLY....I don't think they will. BUT WHO KNOWS WITH THIS PODCAST ANYMORE.
(also I think the "M" guy was talking about Alexander the owl when he said "He's not what he seems.")
Malevolent bingo card after EP 45
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 1 month ago
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i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again
sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now
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Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.
And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.
and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.
no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.
and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.
im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.
and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently
in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.
there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.
no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.
#you know it's funny#i still feel this way but the moment i wrote this#on tiktok one of my friends that was there for most of my times followed my secret tiktok account and#the friend that i lost last year checked my account and#i hope she fucking knows how much that means to me#because i always felt like she hstes me but i still deeply feel she cares abf me and silently looks out for me and i feel so sorry#bc in the past 4 days she has checked my account multiple times and idk man#i truly feel like she sees that im struggling i appreciate it a lot#but i could never tell her that because what if im wrong and also#i dont fit in that friendship anymore#but im still really greatful#for checking up on me even like this#*most of my life#noticed a typo#idk anyways i just really needed to scream this into the void. I didn't want to be so sad today. i just scrolled instagram to numb myself#all day. but i got off my phone it was terrible. idk. i feel im not sure i can get my shit together by monday#im sick of having to fall apart and build myself up every fucking day man. and each day i literally wake up telling myself affirmations#trying to convince myself that its oka#it will be okay at least when u are home at night. wait for that moment everyday but. im tired of waiting for night to be happy man.#i have 30 mins to either post that fuckin video and make a fool of myself bc i told myself i need to post it on the 19th. but idk man. Im#terrified it will only disappoint me. people will make fun of me. idk man. its not that funny is it. or is it? how pathetic i am for clingi#g to the only hope in my life like a fucking abandoned dog man. but what can i do. i dont want to depend on you so much. but then who shoul#i depend on? if i depend on myself im just gonna kill myself man.idk. my grief is getting worse day by day. i still practice guitar everyda#hoping that maybe you will come back or something will come back. maybe mywill to live will come back? maybe the Instrument will play a not#that I can depend on? i dont really know what im looking for thats the worst. living is uncomfortable and dark. even when im smiling with m#friends i feel lost.there's something i feel like they know and i dont. when they could name their favorite colors in kindergarten i alread#knew something was different abt me.its really isolating.not having a clue of who am i.i keep saying im finding myself more and more but tb#i still in a way like im always wearing a costume. i wonder how naked id have to be to find myself. sorry for word vomitting.it maybe helps#anyways acchan i miss you.this world feels really stale without you.i wish I could truly show how much I love you with my words or life but#i dont really think it makes a difference.my voice really doesnt matter that much in the end.maybe im too much
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inmirova · 2 months ago
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"it's easier to leave an abusive situation than it is to stop an abuser" :^( but it's not easy :^(
#repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns repeating patterns#im not unsafe btw just. :^) scared :^)#tired.#starting to stop walking on eggshells kind of. in a cowardly way. like responding some of my real thoughts but at 4am#i want to scream. im not like that but i want to yell and tell her to leave me alone forever and i just want to be able to rest !#and to not be afraid. i want to move. i want to drop off the face of the earth. i want to go to bed. i want to stay awake and on guard.#idk. im tired. im so tired and i want it to stop. it's not even a big deal.#the thinly veiled insults bother me more than anything else. insult sandwich on compliment bread.#im so pretty im so stupid im so funny. im smart im too insecure im beautiful. im the most interesting person she knows im evil im talented#it's not even the worst thing it just pisses me off so much. do you think this is helpful to say? do you think this is normal?#do you think you'll get what you want insulting and belittling me as long as you tell me you think im attractive?#it's always how pretty i am. like some superficial bullshit is going to make up for an insult or make the insult disappear#and everyone else gets to leave but if i leave she'll die and it'll be all my fault and this is just like x y or z#and didnt i know she almost experienced trauma as a child but didnt? and how that effects her?#fuck. i hope she sees this tbh. how fucking insulting to see something someone's experienced and say that couldve maybe happened to me#but the person who couldve done it lives in another country and never came here.#what the fuck. what the fuck.#so it didnt happen to you? you cant lay claim to it at all? yet you think you understand me or that even if it did happen it's all the same#im going to lose my mind. im so. fucking. over it. but im a coward and i dont want her to die so ill grin and bear it.#and she'll tear out all my skin and ask if it's a little too much and ill say it's fine and she'll say im so gorgeous but i'm disgusting#but at least im kind. and ill say okay. because if i say anything else it's a threat on her fucking life.#tbh im only posting this now bc i know no one will likely read it. perpetual coward when it comes to this shit#because if i tell someone the full extent they'll ask why i didn't leave sooner. but i did!#i left and i got bombarded and overwhelmed and i was so tired of being scared of running into her everywhere#and i just. eased back in. and said it would be less this time. and it is so much more. it is so much worse.#ive lived in that fear before and i was so tired of it. it was a big reason i moved so far for college. and i cant just run away#so this seemed better. but it's so much worse. id rather hide every day of my life. keep an eye out everywhere and run away.#it wasnt so bad really. it was tedious and nauseating and i only ever explained it to one person. but it wasnt impossible.#this is much closer to impossible. this is soul crushing every day. and the things she does arent even as bad i dont think#it just doesnt stop. at least in high school i eventually got it to stop. i just had to be avoidant. this. wont stop.
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skrunksthatwunk · 8 months ago
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playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there
#how do i tell her she needs to break up with him immediately. posthaste.fuck it funny post over rant incoming tw emotional abuse i think#nyarla dni#(<- roomie and nyarla have met and i don't wanna air roomie's drama to ppl who know her w/o her consent. anon internet ppl only)#listen i'm normally for gentle advising and that's probably what i'll do since i don't want to stress her out but oh my fucking god what is#his problem. he's constantly putting her in these weird no-win situations where the only right answer is to never be upset or disagree or b#wrong on accident or be misunderstood by him and to tell him everything she's feeling so she's not 'playing mind games' but if she says wha#she's feeling he'll interrogate her and badger her with the same questions over and over again insisting she's unreasonable until she gives#in and says she's sorry with an attitude he likes. i fucking don't like him. and a lot of this is observations from today. the day after sh#GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND BROKE HER NECK. WHAT THE FUCK.#it's like he expects to be treated like a king on one of the worst days of her life and when she's upset he's like OH. OH I GET IT.#and lectures her on having attitude and taking things out on others when she's literally not even doing that. not to an extent that matters#anyway. like. there's more productive ways of dealing with that. where you don't treat them like a bad kid for getting overwhelmed#he has made her cry multiple times today. i have been around multiple arguments and fights and he's just genuinely. awful i hate him#hell the first argument i overheard *i* was in tears by the end (luckily they left soon after bc i had to run to the basement laundry#dungeon to bawl my eyes out because 1. i can't handle confrontation 2. i've never seen roomie cry and 3. she just seemed so hurt and tired)#anyway he just left again after a fight because. god this is so dumb. she told him to move while they were sleeping in the same twin bed#(remember she's in a neck brace) and he fucking. left the room for an HOUR bc he thought the only thing that could POSSIBLY mean (as he#insisted) was for him to get out of here and then when she was like oh hey i'm sorry i didn't mean it like that he decided to spend the nex#half hour of his short time on this earth chewing her out for not giving him a lengthy explanation while half-asleep as to like. why he#needed to move (she wanted to grab smth) and apparently he sat in the chair by her bed for like 10 mins before leaving so he probably saw#her fall back asleep. and then he got pissy when after he left she didn't pick up her phone when he was calling her? even though he knew sh#was asleep?? she didn't even know he was gone. fucking. i need to get him away from my roomie YESTERDAY#look. miscommunication happens. i'm not saying he's an asshole for wanting things said clearly. i am pro-saying what you mean.#but if every time your gf tells you what she means you make it into a 30 minute lecture (no matter how small the slight and w/o examining i#you're actually right or not) she's not gonna wanna fucking tell you if she doesn't think it's worth the argument. especially if you never#let her rest until she concedes. apology isn't enough. clarification isn't enough. she has to say how wrong she was and beg and GOD. UGHHH#and he's always on about how she hurts his feelings. a gust of wind could hurt his feelings. he's constantly berating her manipulating her#and then he's like >:( see that hurt my feelings you can't hurt ppl's feelings. you're disrespectful. HE"S THE WORST I FUCKING HATE HIM#look sometimes adversity reveals the truth of a person and this just amplified his shittiness so much. mr OH i slept in a HOSPITAL and it#was so bad... you can't be in a bad mood bc i've been doing the bare minimum and you need to prioritize MY feelings rn. also i won't leave
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lxvemaze · 3 months ago
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anon who request roommate to fwb ateez here! lol i would love it to be headcanons please. sorry for not being clear on my request.
hope you have a lovely day!
dw about it, i got you!! thank you sm for clarifying! hope this is okay :))) (i'm so sorry that sone of these are WAYYYYY longer than the others, i kinda had no ideas for some of them 😭)
roommates to fwb with ateez
pairing' ot8 x reader
genre' i have no idea??? fluffy and angsty at parts
warnings' obviously very very suggestive. no smut, but pls do not read if under 18, mentions of a bad breakup
a/n' i just wanted to say on this post before anyone requests it, i do not write actual smut, and this is probably the farthest i would go in terms of writing nsfw. not just bc i have a lot of mutuals who are minors, but bc im just not comfortable with doing that ❤️ (also, im so sorry that some of these are much longer than the others)
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⚝hongjoong
you and hongjoong hadn't known each other for very long; you were looking for a roommate while in grad school, and one of your friends told you that his friend was also looking for a roommate
you were hesitant about moving in with a stranger- especially a man. but after you met him at a café before deciding to move in together, you decided that he seemed harmless enough.
given that you two had almost opposite schedules, you hardly ever saw each other, but on the occasions you did, it was mostly in the evening, when you both were too tired to really function.
you two mostly stayed out of each other's way, but on one occasion, when you were passing by each other while getting ready in the morning, and he suggested the idea of having dinner together at home since you were both free that night.
it was awkward at first, making dinner with hongjoong. even though you'd been roommates for a few months at that point, you really didn't know much about each other.
as soon as dinner was finished, you suggested that the two of you crack open a bottle of wine, which quickly turned into two, which turned into three.
the next morning, you woke up mortified in hongjoong's bed. you had definitely not intended to sleep with your roommate. with him still sleeping, you hastily grabbed your clothes and tiptoed back to your own room to get ready for your first class.
when you came back home that evening, he was lounging on the couch, scrolling through netflix. with the bottle of aspirin and large glass of water on the table in front of him, you could tell he was still recovering from the previous nights several bottles of wine.
when he saw you awkwardly standing in the doorway, he invited you over to sit down on the couch. you two watched a show you didn't recognize for maybe a half an hour.
you woke up in his bed again the next morning.
there wasn't much discussion about what you two had going on. you two still hardly saw each other, and it was mutually decided that this would be a strictly casual thing. with you going to school and working part time, and him being in the studio almost 24/7, it wasn't like there was much room for it to turn into a serious thing.
⚝seonghwa
you and seonghwa had been friends for years and years when you mentioned to him in passing that you were looking for a new roommate after your previous one had moved out. he immediately offered to move in, and you, slightly desperate and knowing that he would be a respectful roommate, agreed immediately.
it was comfortable living with seonghwa- he often made his own food and cleaned his own dishes, except for on Fridays when you had "roomie night" where you two made dinner and watched a movie together.
you and seonghwa had been friends for so long, and now that you two were roommates, you might have gotten a little bit too comfortable with each other. having only one bathroom, you two quickly had gotten comfortable using the bathroom while the other was in the shower.
at first it was just a joke that you had made in passing- the idea that you and seonghwa could shower together in the mornings to save time. but one morning when you were running late, you pounded on the bathroom door while seonghwa was in the shower. begging him to hurry up so you could take one.
instead, seonghwa told you to just hop in, and you being desperate to get to work on time, closed your eyes and agreed. nothing happened, seonghwa was respectful, keeping his eyes above your shoulders, and he even helped you wash your hair.
every now and again, whenever one of you was running late, you would just hop in the shower with the other, but of course it was just casual. as casual as showering together could be. it had started to become comfortable, even.
one night, while seonghwa was in the shower, and you had just gotten home from a ten hour work day. all your muscles were sore, your hair was greasy, and all you wanted was to take a hot shower. you heard the water running from the bathroom, and without much thought, you knocked on the door and asked seonghwa if you could hop in.
it was casual at first- as everything between you two was. you mentioned your sore muscles, and he offered to wash your back. one thing led to another, and before you knew it, he was in your bed with his arms around you.
the next morning, you two had a long discussion about it, and decided to keep it casual. both of you were focused on your careers, and didn't have much time to put into anything romantic.
⚝yunho
one thing i know for certain is that yunho would not be able to keep up being friends with benefits for long. he's too soft and romantic for that life. you two had been friends for a couple years, and decided to move in together after you graduated college and were looking for a job.
at first, he thought he could do it. you two had slept together the first time the night you had moved in together. you took shots in celebration, and got a little tipsy. you two had always gotten a little handsy with each other when you drank together.
the next morning, you told him that while you enjoyed yourself, you didn't want anything serious, but wouldn't be opposed to doing it again if you were both feeling it. he quietly agreed. although he was maybe a little heartbroken, he understood that you wanted to focus on your career before getting into anything serious.
with every time you two slept together, he fell a little bit more in love. he felt bad for not telling you, but he figured that you were both enjoying yourselves, so why ruin it?
one morning, he woke up before you, and while he gazed at you in your sleep, his arms still wrapped around you, he decided to tell you that he couldn't do it anymore.
he told you that night when you had come home from work, and to his surprise, you told him the same.
yay, you're in love!
⚝yeosang
yeosang had moved into your apartment after you had broken up with your boyfriend. you had been together for four years, and after he moved out, you needed someone else to help split the rent.
you and yeosang hadn't known each other for a very long time, but you were comfortable enough with each other.
you mostly stayed out of each other's way, but still hung out from time to time.
one night, you and yeosang were hanging out in your room while you were lamenting about your breakup and how long it's been since you were intimate with anyone, and before you knew it, you were on top of yeosang with his hands gripping your thighs
it was a mutual decision to keep it a friends with benefits type relationship, neither of you were really emotionally available for a real relationship at the time.
⚝san
the single most respectful man in the world.
when you two first moved in together, bro was so scared that he would accidentally walk in on you nakey or smth. he would knock on literally every door he entered, even if there would be no reason for him to??? like, why are you knocking on the pantry door???
you actually thought he was a little weird for it at first, but after time you started finding it cute
like, really cute.
like, "ooh i want him so bad" type cute
one day you were doing your skincare in your shared bathroom with the door cracked open, and san, as he always did, knocked before entering, startling you and causing you to accidentally rub your face wash in your eye (this actually happened to me istg i can still feel it stinging)
when he came in you were just like, "bro idec if you see me naked atp, just stop knocking on every damn door"
he did relax and stop knocking incessantly after that. which was all well and good until HE DID walk in on you changing
you didn't really care tbh, you took it as an opportunity to be like, "alright, tension's too high. let's smash 🙏"
after that, he was much more comfortable just walking in 🤞
⚝mingi
you and mingi had actually been fwb at one point before you moved in together, but he decided it was too messy and a little weird for the rest of your friend group
but after he moved in with you after your old roommate got married, you two just kinda fell back into it
istg, mingi is a lot more romantic than yall think he is 😞🤞 he acts all freaky, but he's a loverboy at heart
one day about three months into you two living together, you guys got a little drunk and while you were making out on the couch, he was like "i love you :3"
which left you like 🤨⁉️ like, huhhh????
when you brought it up to him the next day, he tried to pretend like he didn't remember saying anything like that, but you can see right through that silly boy ☝️
after a bit of picking at it, he finally told you that the reason he broke off your old situation was bc he was falling in love with you. omg 😞❤️
obviously you love him too, bc who wouldn't?
⚝wooyoung
you and wooyoung didn't know each other at all before he moved in. one day, your old roommate moved out, and he was just kinda there??? apparently, your old roommate had made the arrangement for him to be the replacement without you knowing
you didn't mind, really. wooyoung seemed harmless enough. maybe a little weird?
you didn't see him much at the start, he was pretty much always working. you work from home, so you were always there when he was- but when he was home, he kind of just immediately went to bed.
one morning, you walked into the kitchen while he was making breakfast, and he was just like, "hi :]" and gave you a plate of eggs and toast.
he didn't have work that day, so you two kinda just like, hung out??? you didn't have much work to do, so when you were done, you came back out to the main room and he was just watching tv, so you sat down next to him
the tension was PALPABLE, he was wearing a black tank top and sweatpants and you were STARING
he kinda just turned to you and was like, "i'm hot, you're hot, let's smash."
you were taken aback, but like, he's so right.
yes, he's freaky
⚝jongho
honestly, you and jongho were roommates for a few years before your fwb thing started
you had a boyfriend for a while, and then even after you broke up, it was probably about six months before you and jongho slept together for the first time
your breakup with your boyfriend was messy. your relationship had been deteriorating for a long time, but neither of you wanted to admit it. so one night, he kind of just exploded at you and left and didn't come back. until about half a year later
he showed up to yours and jongho's apartment unannounced and said he wanted his stuff back. once you said that you threw it all out months ago, he started screaming and yelling at you, and jongho had to physically drag him out
when jongho came back in, he was heaving and sweating, and looked reeeeally good. and when you two made eye contact, it was all over. you kinda just like, pounced on each other.
you decided to sleep with jongho mainly bc you knew it would've pissed your ex off so bad if he knew. he always hated the fact that your roommate was a guy. you did like jongho a lot, you'd been friends and roommates for years, you just never realized how attractive he was until he kicked that dickhead to the curb
after that, you two rarely slept together tbh. it only ever really happened when one or both of you had a shitty day and needed to take your frustration out on something.
(this is one of the cases where you two would most definitely end up dating)
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scourgeofmyownbrain · 14 days ago
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More "Bumblebee and Optimus meeting as ✨Adults✨ but still being Father and Son" stuff I came up with, plus extra because I can't get these chuckle-fucks out of my head.
Link to my prev. post for context. incase yall missed it bc I'm not explaining myself, we're just diving right into the deep end
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bee knows Optimus isn't one for physical affection, and he fully understands and accepts that. He doesn't want to make Optimus uncomfortable by disrespecting one of his boundaries, that's just a shit thing to do. And Bumblebee is not a shit person. But... he's also desperate. Look, being deprived of physical parental affection your whole life fucks you up something good, let Bumblebee tell you, it makes you do some odd shit just to get a taste of what you've been missing out on. And! And most of the stuff Bumblebee has done are perfectly normal things to do! Plenty of casual stuff, leaning against his chair to look at what Optimus is working on, high fives and fist bumps (Optimus rarely, if ever, does these but for Bee he'll do anything just to make him smile, see Optimus acting totally normal about his feelings what are you talking about), leaning against him for a second when he's tired, totally normal! There are, less normal things, like when one of Bee's legs nearly got torn off on a mission and Optimus had to carry him back to base and Bee curled up close in Optimus's arms the whole time- because of the pain, totally 100% definitely only the pain that was Not mostly taken care of by some field anesthetics. It felt nice to be carried like a kid, sue him.
Getting injured is a special case with giving and taking affection. For example, when Bumblebee had to drag Optimus to a med bay after he passed out from a mission. They were walking into the common room together; Optimus was telling Bee he was fine when he CLEARLY wasn't because he didn't want to wake the medics for something as Trivial as THEIR LEADER and FREIND'S HEALTH (Bee is this close to strangling him) when Optimus just pitched over onto the floor.
Optimus, clearly tried and hurt: I will be fine, there is no need to wake the medics, I just need some energ... *faceplants*
Bumblebee: What did I say? What did fragging I say?! *Hefts Optimus's limp body onto his shoulders* fragging, stupid, slagging, moron, 'I don't need a medic, I'll be fine' he says, if I had been the one doing this, you would have torn the base apart getting the medics up, fragging idiot. *drags Optimus's body out of the room*
Optimus: *Mumbles something about not wanting to bother anyone*
Bumblebee: Too fragging bad, big man, you are going to take care of yourself and you're going to like it!
So now Bee has to drag a bot much bigger than him back down the hall and into the Medbay, just because Optimus was being fucking stupid. Yes it looks as funny as you're thinking. Optimus is semi-conscious but delirious as they make their way down the halls of the base and says "I don't want to take anything that would be better served helping any of you, I care about all of you so much I don't want to see you hurt. I love you." and Bumblebee's like Optimus, I feel so loved and so angry right now, but fuck what you want you're getting taken care of. No, you did not just make my fucking day, I lOve yoU tOo dAd-. He gets Optimus into the medbay on a berth then goes to forcibly wake the medics up to calm himself down because he is seconds from crying.
Optimus eventually gets better with affection, and now Bee gets a hug whenever he asks. He has yet to come down from this high.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bumblebee calls Megatron his "Shit Ex-Stepfather". The entirety of team prime thinks this is hilarious. Even Optimus can't help but smile, though he tries to hide it. Someone, probably Jazz, changed Megatron's file name to "Worlds Worst Stepfather". After the war, if Megatron is still alive, he will mysteriously acquire some kind of award saying "Cybertron's #1 Worst Stepfather". He is very confused.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you could get Optimus drunk, he would become such a sap. Like, insufferably soft and emotional. And he would be talking about Bee damn near the whole time. He would be so annoying.
Optimus: *Drunk* Did I ever tell you about Bumbl-bee? He's, he's my boy, my bumble boy, my gold'n boy, my buzzy boy, my sweet cheese. An, he's really yellow, you'll know it's him, he looks like- he's really yellow, it's hard not to see him, but he's really really good at sneaking. Even though he's so yellow. He can sneak around so good, no one sees him. I can see him, 'cause he's my boy. He can sneak around and nooo one finds him, 'cept me, 'cause he's my boy. He can hide so good, he hid under sshockwave's chest once. Riiiight under his eye, his big purple eye. Bee's so funny, he tells such funny stories. He tells his stories better then me, they're a lot funnier. I'm not good at funny stories. He's really good at it. He's really good at lots of things. Bee's so cool. I'm so happy he's here, he's so cool and funny and nice and cool. And he fights real good too, he's so cool. he once- Bee once punched my ex once, right in the face. Riiight in the kisser, just, boosh. My ex sucks, Bee's so cool. I like him, he's my boy. An-and he taught himself how to do aaaaall the cool things he does. He didn't have anyone to teach him, he did it all by himself. All alone... I wish I met him sooner, when he was small. He says he was really cute when he was small and I want to see him small. I like him big though, he's really fun when he's big. He's- *Sobs* He's my booooy, and I love him so muuuuch.
This continues for hours. Luckily he never drinks so no has to suffer through this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you thought Optimus was the Serial Adopter, you'd be wrong. It's Bumblebee. No bot is safe from his clutches. He scoops up family members like a pelican scoops fish. Optimus is barely aware of how many family members he technically has, he stopped keeping track a long time ago.
Bumblebee: *Bursting into the room dragging some bot he was on an extended mission with* OPTIMUS, I GOT ATTACHED AGAIN YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER
Optimus: *Not looking up from his data pad* That's great, son, go put it with the rest.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Optimus would be such a good grandparent. In the future, after the war ends, Bumblebee comes into possession of a kid; whether he finds someone and takes them under his wing or he just fucking makes one, I don't know nor care, but he gets a kid. And when he introduces them to Optimus, Optimus just fucking melts. He was already a huge softie before but he's so much worse now. He goes full grandma mode. He has snacks in his pockets (or whatever bots have) that he sneaks to the kid every time he sees them. He gives them money at random. You best believe he would destroy anything that even looked at his grandbaby wrong (Bee: Optimus, stop attacking the door. Optimus, the door just bumped them, they're fine. Dad stop, omp(rimus))
The "Bee finds a kid and both of them get attached and now are a family" is the funnier option. Because the kid knows who these guys are, they saved Cybertron. The kid's still getting used to having Bee as their guardian, so when they meet the 13th Prime: Holder of the Matrix of Leadership, Savior of Cybertron, they don't expect Dotting Grandparent Extraordinaire.
Bumblebee: and this is Optimus Prime. He's your Grandpa.
The kid : *nervous* He's my what?
Optimus: *on the verge of tears* mY grAnDbABy-
The "Bee made a kid" version is still pretty funny.
Bumblebee: *Exasperated* Optimus, give me my child back.
Optimus: *violently crying* nO, It'S mY bAbY nOW.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Imagine, if you will, Optimus and Bumblebee sitting on a roof together, not talking, not touching, just watching the sun set. Just enjoying the silence together, maybe with some energon to go with it. Because they get it, oh they get it. Sometimes you just need to be alone with someone. That good mutual respect and love from a found family that understands you. this is why I need bee to be an adult, I need both of them to be hurting and find some comfort in each other, to find solace in each other, to be a family and to be equals, is that too much to ask?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A list of things Bumblebee is allowed to get away with:
Interrupting Meetings to Tell Optimus Something, important or not (hi dad)
Casually touching the Usually Touch Adverse Optimus (Physical affection ftw)
Calling Optimus out on his self-sacrificial bullshit (you're going to see the medics and you're going to like it, old man)
Using the three points above to drag Optimus into the Medbay by force (Ratchet is so smug about this)
Getting Optimus to do something fun and relaxing (father son bonding time, as Bee says.)
Swearing aggressively (for everyone else it's unprofessional, for Bee its therapeutic. He stretches this excuse as far as it goes)
Making Insulting comments about others to their face (look they deserve it if the Perpetually Friendly Bumblebee is saying it)
Talking about Megatron (Usually team prime avoids talking about Megsy outside of war related convos out of respect for Optimus's history with him. Bumblebee does not give a shit, Megatron is a bitch and he's going to make his opinions known (Everyone thinks it's funny dw))
Illegal activities (this fucker street races in every universe, you think he isn't doing shit like this on the daily?)
Murder
Stealing/Sneaking snacks (he shares with Optimus)
Making jokes about Optimus being his dad (he thinks it's funny bc they're not related and they met like 6 years ago. Optimus explodes with emotion every time bc you consider me good enough to be your dad?)
Bee is a fucking menace, Optimus loves him so much.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Misc. funny word vomit I came up with that have no context, reason, or sense
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Optimus is working at a desk focusing on some data pads. A tiny energon cube flies into frame, bouncing off Optimus's forehead and landing on the desk. Optimus grabs the cube and eats it without looking up from the datapad. A few minutes pass, another energon cube flies and bounces off Optimus's head. He eats it without looking. Bumblebee is sitting off to the side in the room with Optimus with a bag of energon snacks, periodically throwing one at the distracted Prime. This is Bee's and Ratchet's newest scheme to get Optimus to actually eat, and it's working splendidly. (Actually, Bumblebee originally was throwing the energon onto the desk, but over time he got bored and started just throwing the cubes directly at Optimus. He hasn't noticed any of the cubes hitting him at all, so Bee's started trying to do trick shots.)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Bumblebee?"
"Absolutely, now throw me."
"Alright... Three, two, one- Ngha!"
*distant loud metal slam*
"..."
*distantly* "I'm good! We're in business!"
*quietly* "oh thank primus..."
*distantly* "Okay, I'm done. I'm coming back down."
"Wait-"
*distantly* "Hup!"
*loud crashing metal noises*
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It's early morning, everyone got back to base late the night before. Everyone is tired. Optimus is sitting at the table in the common room, slowly drinking a cube of energon. His eyes are half open and bleary. Bumblebee is beside him, head in his hand, dozing. Bee's head falls from his hand and slams onto the table. Optimus doesn't even blink at the noise, just takes a sip of energon.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Bumblebee takes a lot of pictures. Mostly of his team. He's pretty sneaky about it too, usually just taking a capture from his visual feed and saving it to his personal datapad. And at a glance none of the pictures are all that special, captures of a group of bots hanging out between missions, selfies of Bee and company on missions, drunken mishaps, quiet moments, he's got this really funny one of Cliffjumper stuck in a storage closet, but Bee keeps all these photos out of sight. The others are aware of his habit but they never see most of the photos, they never ask. Bee only opens his photos folder when ever he has a quiet moment alone and just scrolls through, reminiscing. His favorites are the ones where he caught someone's genuine smile. Sometimes they're in the background of a larger group shot, or it's just them smiling at Bee in conversation. He's got a lot of Optimus's smile. Optimus doesn't smile a lot, but he always seems to smile when Bee's around. Bee's proud that he can do that for him.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
this could literally be anyone on team prime: *teasing* You playing favorites, Prime? Giving Bumblebee all this special treatment is making the rest of us feeling left out.
Optimus: You all treat him the exact same way I do.
again, literally anyone on team prime: ... Touché, Boss bot, touché...
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
After spending an extended period of time in close proximity to Megatron (for what ever reason), Bumblebee and Optimus talk.
Bee: You had terrible taste in partners.
Optimus: *sighs*
Bee: Physically, I can see the appeal, but everything else is a wild thing to say yes to.
Optimus: ...
Bee: His personality, his interests- just why none of that clocked you onto how fragged up he would be is beyond me.
Optimus: ........
Bee: You're not stupid, I hope that your next partner will be leagues better than him. Ratchet maybe, oh or Elita, they would make great partners (and even better step-parents), or maybe-
Optimus: CanwePleasestoptalkingaboutmylovelife??
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Bumblebee: If you get back together with Megatron I'm disowning you.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
BB: This is... so dumb.
OP: The higher I am the better I can see.
BB: You can- You can fly.
OP: Hush now Bumblebee! I am searching...
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk man, brain rot hits something different when I think about it for long periods of time
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goldfades · 7 months ago
Note
Paige nsfw hcs pls
─ warnings | NSFW under the cut! read at your own discretion!
─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!
─ ev's notes | the long awaited nsfw headcanons for paigey, i finally got the motivation to write it after i kept reading the INSANE smut yall keep writing (keep it up im lovin it) also this is such a mess, this is just rambling and not organized whatsoever, but wtv i hope yall enjoyed :)
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woo, where do i even begin?
let's begin with the obvious, paige is a TOP, i can't stress this enough
i genuinely can't see anyone topping her she's just .... a TOP
but that doesn't mean she won't let you take the reigns every once in awhile, esp after a bad game/tiring practice because everyone once to be taken care of sometimes
i'm def not the first person to say this and certainly will not be the last but STRAP GAME GOES SOOOOO HARD
i feel like at first she's gonna be weirded out cus like... she likes only girls for a reason??? and she has her mouth and fingers??? why would she need a piece of plastic to make her girl feel good???
but the first time y'all try it, she's hooked
she forgets ab her hands after that
jk but like
yeah she's HOOKED
she gets really into it LOL, def can imagine her calling the strap her dick
oh and she fucks HARDDDD like, no room to breathe or anything
like you'll be gasping for air after and she'll be super duper proud
i read this one fic with like the dual ended one (i didn't even know that existed) and then i was like yep, yes this is the oneee
with positions, i can't see her doing anything more than like missionary (cus she loves to see your pretty face) and like from the back
but as soon as she discovers riding, it's OVERRRRR for you
she's making you ride her strap anytime she can, cus she loves it
she has her hands on your hips as she's guiding you and she LOVES IT so fucking much, like the power she has over you makes her go feral
oh and do not get me started on sucking her strap, cus again she loves the power she holds over you
she has your hair in a ponytail and the more you get comfortable with the whole thing, she WILL make you gag
she acts like it's her dick (yeah i know we covered that) but like esp when you're sucking her strap, she will just dirty talk u the entire time
"you like my dick, pretty girl? like gagging on my dick?" cus yeah, u do
oh and yes, she does have breeding kink
it breaks her heart that she can't get you pregnant 😪
but she sure as hell will pretend to!!!!!
will 100% bend you over and just yap about getting you pregnant
also if she's fucking you in missionary, she expects you to look at her the entire time
so if you turn away, she will grab your face and keep you looking straight at her
FUCK IDK WHY THAT'S SO HOT
paige is a D1 yapper i fear, and that would 10000% seep into the bedroom LMAO
mostly praise cus babygirl would feel really bad but when she gets into, she GETS into it
like she will call you her slut as she's about cum
that post-nut clarity goes hard the first time tho cus she's like no way i called my gf a dirty fucking slut 😭😭 she sits with her thoughts for a good 10 minutes trying to recollect herself
she is a munch for sure, like she will eat you out for hours and hours on end (not an exaggeration btw)
but she LOVES when you give back
it makes her go fucking feral when she sees you eating her out, like yessssssssssssss
she has to close her eyes bc if she keeps looking at your face, she WILL cum
she has a bad hair pulling problem, like she will grip your hair so hard your head will hurt after
it's apart of the appeal tho 🎀
her fav spot to get absolutely ate is her gaming chair cus like, she needs you in between her legs giving her support to get that victory royale 💯💯💯
she hates when she gets ass or tits bc she genuinely cannot pick
it depends on the day bc they're both great, she will never pick one
i feel like she's definitely thought ab fucking you in public but she can't risk it
SHES A D1 ATHLETE !!
the only time yall did was in a bathroom at an event and it was SOOO bad afterwards cus everyone could tell
you had to pretend like you didn't get your brains fucked out and paige had to pretend she didn't DO the fucking
but lowkey she enjoyed it a lot, but would she do it again?
maybe, a solid maybe (with the right motivation)
okay but like ....
she def has fingered u while the girls are over cus like, she was in a silly mood?
you just looked too fucking good, she had to
but thank god no one noticed (at least to yalls knowledge...)
she's a horny fuck ARGUE WITH THE WALL
she will get turned on by anything you do, like homegirl is just sooooo down bad for you
you could be applying chapstick and paige will be like "we need to fuck, now."
paige's aftercare is just giving you water and cuddling with you for 10 mis while scrolling on tiktok and then gets up to play fortnite with kk
she literally is the tiktok where it's like "after he rearranges my organs he goes and plays fortnite" i hope yall know what i'm talking about
but you don't mind ofc cus she makes you sit on her lap while playing
but then turns into another round cus shes a horny fuck
paige is all for hickies on YOU but she gets pissed when you give her a hickey cus she's like people are gonna see
like she's the only one who has to deal with the public 🙄🙄🙄
but she loves marking you EVERYWHERE, esp on your collarbone like it's so sexy
oh and god bless you in the summer, the ones on your thighs are getting AIRED OUT bc paige does not care
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↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
562 notes · View notes
dixons-sunshine · 8 months ago
Note
js read your shopping spree and dying for your haircut fics and omg
can u pretty please, with a bow on top, write another part to that series or like an au where they get separated at the fall of the world and a few season later (preferably that prison era of daryl he was so fawking sexy there like omg) they found each other again and i want some build up to their reunion yk like someone else finds r and brings them in and some ppl kinda chatting abt the new girl or wtv and dars not rlly gaf cuz he kinda getting tired of trying to find r (realistically i don’t think he’d give up easily but let’s js pretend yk) but then they see each other and they’re like omfg the love of my life’s here and safe and like i need that glenn and maggie type reunion but like tenfold bc r and dar alr loved and knew each other before the fall yk and like yeah😣
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idky but i’m a sucker for “r and daryl had a relationship beforehand, got separated, and reunited” trope (?) fic, blurb shit and you’d literally be godsent if u wrote this oml
I Found You | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
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Summary: When the dead started to rise and the world went to hell, Daryl got seperated from you, the love of his life. After over a year of searching for you and finding no evidence of your survival, Daryl was beginning to give up and count his losses. One day, Carol stumbled upon a wounded woman while out on a run with Glenn, and the two of them decide to accept you into the prison. Little did they know, that would end up being one of the best decisions they could've ever made.
Genre: Angst to fluff.
Era: Prison, pre season 4, post season 3.
Warnings: Swearing, blood, death, mentions of attempted sexual assault (not descriptive)
Word count: 4.3k
A/n: Thank you so much for the request! I've decided to write the au since there's already a part three for the SSHD (Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams) universe in the works, but this request was way too good to not write. I hope you like it! And I absolutely agree with you. There's something about prison era Daryl that just hits different. He was on another level completely.
As always, my requests are open for any TWD requests.
(Just thought I'd say that both third- and second person is used. I referred to the reader in third  person when Glenn and Carol first met her, but it soon shifts to second person when she introduced herself. Just thought I'd let y'all know the shift is intentional.)
“Okay, so I can't guess what you did before all of this correctly, but I bet there is something that I will be right about.”
Daryl looked at Zach skeptically as they trudged through the abandoned store, looking for supplies to bring back to the prison. “Yeah? Wha's tha'?”
“You're brooding, quiet, you like to keep to yourself,” Zach started, leaning nonchalantly against one of the shelves while he watched the archer place multiple different packs and boxes into his bag. “The way you act most of the time would suggest you've never been in a relationship before, but there are clear signs that you were with someone before all of this.”
Daryl stiffened for a moment, his hand lingering above a pack, before regaining his composure and continuing his task. “Wha' signs?”
“Well, for one, you know exactly what kind of tampons and pads to get for the ladies at the prison. I would've just dumped everything in and have them sort through it, but you are only taking specific brands,” Zach pointed out, motioning to the box of tampons Daryl had just put back onto the shelf.
When Daryl didn't reply, Zach took that as his cue to continue. “And while we're on the topic of periods, you seem to know exactly what to get the girls for the pain and what to do to curve their bad tempers. What guy would know that if he didn't have a girlfriend before all of this? And to top it all off, and this is totally unrelated to everything I just said, I've seen that locket necklace you keep in your pocket. It's pretty worn out and faded, but you can definitely tell it's something from this generation, so it can't be something that was passed down from a relative, so that brings me to my conclusion. You, Daryl Dixon, had a girl before all of this.”
Daryl sighed, shutting his eyes tightly as he willed the onslaught of memories away. Memories that were too painful to think of, memories that did nothing but remind the archer of his failure. His failure at finding you, the love of his life, after the dead started walking. A failure he had to live with for as long as he remained alive.
Daryl opened his eyes and turned abruptly, leaving the young man behind him as he stalked towards the exit, his bag slung over his shoulder. Zach hurriedly caught up to him, struggling to keep at a steady pace beside him as Daryl strode quickly, wanting to put some distance between him and Zach.
“Woah, man! Slow down!” Zach complained, jogging to keep up with him. “Was it because I brought up the girl thing? I didn't realise it was a touchy subject.”
“It ain't none of yer damn business,” Daryl grumbled under his breath, stalking over to the truck him and Zach were using that day.
“Daryl! Come on, man. It's not that deep.”
Daryl gritted his teeth as he opened up the driver's side door of the truck, throwing his bag into the back before climbing inside. He started up the truck and revved the engine, a warning sign to Zach that he was about to leave, with or without him.
Zach hurriedly scurried into the passenger seat, barely having time to close the door before Daryl started speeding off. He gripped the edge of his seat, sending Daryl an exasperated look.
“Daryl, what the hell? Calm down!” he exclaimed, unnerved by the archer's sudden burst of fury. He'd seen Daryl angry before, but it was never directed towards him. It was downright scary.
“'M calm,” Daryl replied through gritted teeth, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.
“That's what you call calm?!” Zach exclaimed, motioning out towards the road. “You're driving like a maniac! Slow down!”
Daryl simply ignored the man, keeping his eyes trained on the road. Memories of you unwillingly flooded his mind. Memories of your smile, your laugh and your beautiful eyes. Memories of the calm mornings you'd spend with the archer in your shared sad excuse for an apartment where the hot water was a joke. Memories where you'd both stand under the cold water of the shower, Daryl embracing you from behind in an attempt to make the cold water bearable for you. Memories of your loving touch on his skin, your fingers lightly tracing over the scars on his back as you whispered reassuring things into his ear, assuring him that his father's abuse had nothing to do with him, that it wasn't his fault that any of that happened to him.
The more Daryl's mind wandered, the more he remembered some of the bad memories. All those arguments you had with him over some of his escapades with Merle, telling him that it would only get him into trouble, flooded his mind. One of those arguments ended up being the reason he got seperated from you in the first place.
Merle had wanted to go do some drug deal and had barged into your apartment, practically dragging Daryl from your bed. You had begged him not to go, arguing with him that it was a bad idea and that something would go wrong this time. He remembered being so angry at you for insisting during that argument that Merle wasn't good for him, that he needed to cut back on seeing him or set some boundaries with him. He had stormed out of the apartment without so much as a goodbye, and now he regretted it more than he's regretted anything before in his life.
Daryl blamed himself daily for not having listened to you that day. If he had, he never would've been seperated from you and you would've been safe by his side. He longed to have you by his side again, to tell you that he was sorry and that he loved you. However, even after all this time of searching, going out for extended periods of time to look for signs of you, it was to no avail. You were gone, and it was all his fault.
“Daryl? Are... you okay?”
Daryl snapped back to reality at the sound of Zach's concerned voice. He felt a droplet of water roll down his cheek and he hurriedly wiped it away, realising that he was crying. He hadn't even realised that tears had started to well up in his eyes, so immersed was he in his own thoughts.
“'M fine,” Daryl insisted, wiping his eyes hurriedly as he willed the tears away.
Zach furrowed his eyebrows, before realisation dawned on him. “You did have a girl before all of this. You lost her, didn't you?” he asked sympathetically.
Daryl hesitantly nodded, swallowing in an attempt to get rid of the lump in his throat. “I didn't lose her,” he began, bringing the truck to a halt in front of the prison gates as he waited for someone to open them.
“I don't know if she's even dead at all. She's just... Gone.”
“What are we looking for, exactly?” Glenn asked Carol as they scanned over the shelving of an abandoned pharmacy, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
Carol sighed as she looked upon yet another empty shelf, its medical contents a thing of the past. “Anything medical. With all the new people we've been taking in, the supplies we have aren't going to be enough.”
“Okay,” Glenn drawled hesitantly. “But it doesn't look like there's anything worth scavenging here.”
“Let's just do a once over before we check the back. If there's nothing, we head on back. It's getting late,” Carol instructed. Glenn nodded, and the two of them dispersed to sweep through the small store once more.
“So,” Glenn started. “Is it just me, or has Daryl been more grumpy than usual?”
Carol hummed in agreement. “He has. He gets angry at the smallest of things lately.”
“Do you know why?”
“No,” Carol said, shaking her head. “I've asked him, but he won't say anything. Just tells me to mind my own business. It's really odd. He's more like he was back at the quarry. More closed off and snappy and I don't know why.”
“It's ever since he came back from that run with Zach a week ago,” Glenn replied, meeting up with the Carol again to go into the back room. “I've asked Zach if he knows why, but he refused to say anything. Says it's not his place to say.”
Carol frowned, opening the door that lead into the back room. “That's odd. So that means something—”
“Stay right there. Don't move another inch or I swear to god I'll shoot.”
Both Carol and Glenn froze in their tracks. They looked up and locked eyes with a woman, who's eyes were fiery as they darted between them.
“Names. Now. And weapons on the ground.”
“Okay, alright,” Carol responded, trying to diffuse the situation. She slowly lowered her gun and knife to the ground, urging Glenn to do the same. “I'm Carol, and this is Glenn. Now before we answer anymore questions, what's your name?”
The woman hesitated for a moment. “Y/n. What are you doing here?”
“We were looking for some supplies,” Carol spoke truthfully, eyeing the gun aimed at her carefully. “We're running low on medical things.”
After a couple of long, tense moments, with you scanning them from head to toe, you nodded to yourself after spotting something. Deciding to trust them for now, you slowly lowered the gun. However, you quietly hissed in pain, quickly clutching your side as you stumbled to regain your balance. After you steadied yourself, you limped over to your bag and grabbed a few things before handing them over to Carol and Glenn.
“Here. Hope these help. The place was ransacked when I got here. Wasn't a lot left to clear out.”
“Thank you, but we need more than this. This isn't going to last us long,” Carol responded, placing the items into her bag.
“No offence, lady, but I think I need the supplies more than you do at the moment. And I gave you more than half already. I can't spare more,” you said, clutching your side tightly.
“What happened?” Glenn asked, pointing to the your side, unable to stop his curiosity from seeping through.
“Flesh eaters,” you replied nonchalantly, shrugging your shoulders. “I was fighting a bunch of them when one lunged at me from the side. It toppled me through a broken window, and a shard sliced me.”
“Don't you have a group? Couldn't they help you?” Glenn questioned.
“Nope. I've been on my own since this whole thing started. I guess I should probably find a group, though. Things like this wouldn't happen if I had backup.”
You gingerly lifted your shirt, and both Carol and Glenn grimaced at the painful sight. The wound was deep and oozing blood. It would definitely need stitches, as well as someone to remove the remaining fragments of glass that still painfully stuck out of the wound. It was terrible. You wouldn't be able to get it all out without a professional.
Suddenly, an idea struck Carol. “You gave us some of the supplies you scavenged without even knowing us. Why?”
“Well, you didn't try to kill me, even after I held you at gunpoint. And by the looks of it, you guys have a group and are set up somewhere. Figured I should do the honourable thing and offer up some medical things if there's kids involved.”
“How do you know there's kids?” Glenn asked, confused.
“I can see the toys in your bag,” you pointed out, motioning to the toy truck that stuck out of the top of his bag. “Figured that adults wouldn't be playing with toy trucks while the world was ending.”
“Still, why would you? You don't owe us anything,” Carol questioned, though her mind was already set on one thing.
“Some might call me naive, but I hope that by doing some good in this fucked up world, karma will decide to do something good for me. That probably makes me stupid as shit, huh?” you replied, laughing before wincing at the pain that shot through your side at the small action.
Carol smiled at you. “We have a group set up not too far from here, at the prison. You can join if you want, but you have to answer three questions first.”
You raised your eyebrows at her. “Three questions? That's it?”
“Yeah.”
You shrugged your shoulders. “Alright, shoot.”
“How many walkers have you killed?” Carol began, watching you closely.
“A lot. Too many to keep track of at this point.”
“How many people have you killed?”
You hesitated for a moment, guilt creeping up on you. “Three.”
“Why?”
“Two of them were bit. They asked me to kill them. The other one... That bastard tried to rape me. I wouldn't let him.”
“I'm sorry,” Glenn said sympathetically.
“It's fine. I'm fine,” you waved him off, before turning your attention back to Carol. “How'd I do? Satisfactory enough?”
Carol nodded. “For me, yes. You'll still need to meet the leader and have him evaluate you, but I think you'll be alright. You'll fit in just fine.”
“Hopefully,” you laughed nervously, instantly paying the price for it with a sharp pain shooting up your side, making you visibly wince.
“Come on, let's get going. We have a doctor who can get that checked out for you,” Glenn prompted. He walked over to you and grabbed your bag, stopping your protest instantly. “It's fine, I've got it. One extra bag won't kill me.”
Together, all of you made your way out of the pharmacy and over to their car. You got settled in the back while Carol and Glenn got into the front, and before long you were setting off to the prison. Your eyes were beginning to droop, but Glenn seemed eager to get to know the new recruit better.
“What were you doing out there on your own anyway?”
“I was looking for my boyfriend. I was hoping that he might still be alive.”
“No luck?” he asked.
“No,” you shook your head, pursing your lips. “I'm beginning to think I might never find him, if he's even still alive.”
“Never say never,” Glenn encouraged you. “You'll find him someday, I know it.”
“I really hope so.”
“Have you seen that new chick Glenn and Carol brought back? She's a real looker.”
“I know, right? You think she's into blondes?”
“Even if she was, I doubt she'd go for your scrawny ass.”
“Easy, boys. She might not even be into guys. I could have a shot with her for all you know.”
Daryl groaned inwardly as he entered the cellblock. The new girl that Glenn and Carol brought in the day before was seemingly the hottest topic of discussion amongst everyone and he couldn't escape it, no matter where he tried to run to. Nobody, apart from Glenn, Carol, Rick and Hershel have officially met her, yet everybody had seemingly already formed an opinion about her. Although there were a lot of different opinions, everyone seemingly agreed on one thing; the new girl was hotter than hell.
Daryl was the only guy in the entire prison that hadn't seen her yet. He was out hunting when Carol and Glenn brought her back and he hasn't bothered to go out of his way to introduce himself to her ever since he got back. He'd meet her soon enough and he wasn't hoping to make friends with her. The more people he managed to keep at arm's length, the better.
“Yo, Daryl. What do you think about the new chick?” a guy called Mitchell asked him, snapping him from his thoughts.
Daryl shrugged. “Ain't met her yet,” he replied, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Okay, but have you seen her?” another guy called Ronnie asked. “I'm telling you, man, hotter than the sun on a summer day. I'm hoping she'll let me hit at least once.”
“How 'bout ya leave the poor girl alone?” Daryl snapped, turning to face the group that was walking with him. “She ain't even been here two days and y'all are already ogling her like she's some prize to be won. Have some more respect.”
“Jeez,” Mitchell whistled. “What's got your panties up in a bunch?”
“Nothin',” Daryl muttered angrily, turning around to walk further into the cellblock. “Jus' wanna get this fuckin' job done and all y'all can do is yap 'bout some girl ya dun' even know properly. I dun' give two flyin' shits 'bout who or wha' ya talk 'bout, but do it after the job's done. Y'all ain't free loadin' here. Do yer job, earn yer keep.”
“Sorry,” a girl called Ariana muttered, sending him an apologetic look. “What do you need us to do?”
“Take those planks over there and take em to the guard tower. Rick wants to fortify it and wants it done by the end of the week.”
“What are you gonna do?” Ronnie asked, crossing his arms as he sized Daryl up.
Daryl glared at him and squared his shoulders, looking down on his shorter, scrawny frame. “Hershel needs help with somethin'. I believe ya can understand tha' if the doctor needs somethin' done, it's considered top priority?”
Ronnie shrunk under Daryl's intense glare, nodding quickly. “Yeah, of course.”
“Great.”
With that, Daryl turned on his heel and set off to find Hershel. He didn't have to search far, however, because Hershel halted him before he could go outside.
“Daryl, over here,” the old man called after him, halting him in his tracks.
Daryl turned and walked over to Hershel, nodding at him respectfully. “Wha' ya need, Doc?”
“I'm sure you've heard of the girl Carol and Glenn brought back yesterday by now?” Hershel questioned, chuckling at the slight groan Daryl emitted.
“Who hasn't? Apparently she's really good lookin'. Her looks has been all people has to say 'bout her.”
Hershel nodded. “Unfortunately, that is true. Only Rick, Glenn, Carol and myself has had the pleasure of meeting her personally up until this point. She's a lovely woman. Had no problem that there wasn't anything to ease the pain when I had to stitch her side and she's more than willing to get up and start working to earn her keep. She won't be able to for at least another day or so since her side needs to heal up a bit first, but Carol and Glenn did good with bringing her back. She'll fit right in.”
“Good,” Daryl nodded. “She a good fighter?”
“From what I understand, she's been out on her own since the beginning. She's not dead yet, so I'd say she's alright,” Hershel replied, adjusting on his crutches.
“Alrigh', now enough 'bout her. Wha' did ya need me to do?”
Hershel gave him an encouraging pat on the back, confusing the archer. “You're going to be one of the very few people who gets to say they met the new girl for the next couple of days. I was hoping you could help her fix her bunk? One of the legs on the bunk broke and she's dead set on repairing it. She won't let me help because she keeps insisting I've done enough for her, so I told her I would send someone else to help. She'll be expecting you.”
Daryl pursed his lips but nodded, parting ways with the older man. He walked over to the cell that Hershel had pointed towards and stopped at the doorway, hesitating to make his presence known.
You had your back turned towards the door, hunched over as you inspected the leg of the bunk. You weren't aware of the archer that stood a few feet behind you, engrossed entirely in your own thoughts. That was, until he spoke up behind you.
“Hey. Hershel said ya needed help?”
You froze at the voice, willing the supposed hallucination away. You slowly rose to your feet and turned, locking eyes with the one person you've been searching for since the world went to hell—your boyfriend, Daryl Dixon.
The moment Daryl locked eyes with you, a whirlwind of emotions flooded his being. Relief, love, happiness, wonder, sadness, confusion and so much more that he couldn't decipher. Although his first instinct was to wrap you in his arms and never let go of you again, he hesitated, refusing to believe you were real. He took a step back, his eyes wide as he looked at you.
You stared back at him with equal amounts of disbelief. You took a hesitant step forward. “Daryl?” you whispered. The man in front of you looked slightly different; a little bit older and his hair was longer, but there was no mistaking it. The man in front of you was Daryl.
Daryl remained silent, his eyes locked on you as you continued to take agonizingly slow steps towards him. He watched as you stopped in front of him and hesitantly raised your hand, bringing it to rest on his cheek. Daryl instantly melted into your familiar soft touch, and that was all the confirmation he needed. Without another thought, he gently grabbed you and pulled you into his arms, tightly clinging to you as he pressed multiple kisses to the top of your head.
“Yer real,” he whispered, a laugh of amazement falling from his lips. “Yer real. Yer alive. Yer actually still alive.”
You laughed quietly against his chest as you held onto him tightly, never wanting to let go ever again. Your laughter soon turned into sobs, tears of relief and happiness falling from your eyes.
“I thought I'd never see you again,” you whispered through your tears, burying your face into his chest. “I thought you were dead, Dar.”
“'M here,” he whispered into your ear, a few tears of his own falling from his eyes. “'M alive. Yer alive. 'M never lettin' ya go ever again. 'M sorry I ever left tha' day in the first place.”
“It's okay. I'm sorry, too. I never should've asked you to cut Merle out of your life. He's your brother. It was unreasonable of me.”
“Nah, it wasn't,” he denied, placing another gentle kiss on the top of your head. “Ya were jus' lookin' out fer me. I never shoulda gotten mad at ya in the first place.”
“Let bygones be bygones?” you whispered against his chest.
Daryl chuckled before nodding. “Yeah, of course.”
The two of you held onto each other for a couple of moments longer until you pulled back. Daryl was about to voice his protest until you pressed your lips against his in an urgent kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. His arms settled on your waist, pulling you closer into him as he kissed you back. There was no lustful hunger behind the kiss—there was only love and longing, two broken parts finally reuniting and mending together as one.
Daryl pulled back and placed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. “I missed ya so much,” he whispered, willing the lump in his throat to go away.
“I missed you too. More than you even know,” you replied, cupping Daryl's cheek with one of your hands. “But I found you. I finally found you.”
Daryl leaned into your touch before turning his head to kiss the palm of your hand. However, he soon pulled away from you and strode over to your bag, slinging it over your shoulder.
“C'mon,” he said, taking your hand in his as he pulled you to walk beside him.
“Where are we going?” you questioned, falling into step beside the man you loved.
“There ain't no need fer ya to sleep in there. Yer gonna sleep with me in my cell,” Daryl said simply, pulling you along to his cell.
You giggled but said nothing, silently following him into his cell. When he placed your bags down on the floor, Daryl placed a soft kiss on your lips before stalking out of the cell.
“Where are you going?” you called after him, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.
“'M gonna find tha' prick who objectified ya and teach him a lesson. Yer hot as fuck, yes, that much I can accept people sayin', but Ronnie implied he wanted to sleep with ya outrigh'. He's really gonna regret sayin' tha' in a few moments. Dun' even try to talk me outta it.”
“Hey, Dar?” you called after him, halting him in his tracks. “I love you.”
Daryl smiled at you. “I definitely love ya more.”
517 notes · View notes
linatheweirdooo · 2 months ago
Text
Don't hurt me
I wrote this fic on ao3 originally as a vent, but due to the positive reception I'm gonna post it here too :3 here's the link to it on ao3 if you wanna give it a kudos or reply or read any other stuff I wrote bc I don't plan on posting that much on here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56567776/chapters/143770822#workskin
TW; implied S/A (it's hurt/comfort but the subject is mentioned and implied)
~~
It all happened so fast.
The sensation of water trickling down her synthetic skin, the studs of soap covering her body. It was a normal day, V just wanted to take a shower to clean herself off after an especially bloody hunt. Until she slipped.
Her entire frame collapsed onto the soapy ground, and her optics struggled to make out what was happening. Her processor overwhelmed with the sensory information from all fronts, it retorted to its only defense; to connect this situation to something familiar, something that has happened before.
In her disoriented state, instead of seeing the shower in her home, she saw a room in the old manor. And instead of feeling water slide down her hydrophobic shell, she felt hands. Hands that were distinctly human. Hands of the people whom she still can't remember the faces of, violating her. Touching her in places she shouldn't be touched, abusing parts of her body that are too sensitive for it.
This was stupid. She was a robot, she was a servant, why would she care if she was used? Wasn't that what she was made for? She shouldn't be whining.
Poisonous words from the person seemingly executing this echoed in her audio receptors. Even when it happened, V could bearly make out proper sentences.
V just yelled for them to get away, but her pleas proved vain when nothing changed.
Eventually, she succumbed to it, with only whimpers and muffled sobs with the occasional "stop" escaping her mouth.
~~
N was out today, which only left Uzi and V in their home, but the purple worker couldn't help but feel slightly worried by how long her girlfriend had been in the shower, she was usually quick.
But Uzi brushed it off. Maybe she's doing some self care for herself. V was responsible, they've known each other for a while now. Long enough to build a life with her and N.
That was until she heard V's voice, muffled by the walls of the bathroom and too far away from Uzi to make out any actual words. But why would V be yelling? There's nobody else in the house other than her, right?
Uzi panicked, but took a deep breath. She needed to stop assuming the worst all the time. So she calmly (albiet still quickly) walked up to the bathroom she was in and knocked on the door.
"V? You okay?"
No reply. At least, no reply that was directed at Uzi. It was hard to tell what she was saying, which worried her. Uzi does know V has a... complicated past... but even after getting together, she didn't talk about it more than she needed to. What if she was stuck in some kind of flashback?
No. No jumping to the worst case scenario. She'll just ask her again.
"V? Did something happen? Can I come in?"
No reply again. This was now a cause for concern, so Uzi opened the door, only to see her girlfriend on the floor of the shower sobbing and whimpering.
Immediately she ran up to V. But the disassembly drone sat up and made eye contact with Uzi.
Fear. The thought that V was even capable of the feeling had never even crossed Uzi's mind, but the hollow yellow rings that replaced her eyes were all that stared back her girlfriend.
V looked sad, tired, and scared, and while she has shown more emotion in front of her partners than she would to anyone else, this was different. It was raw, it was unfiltered, and it was heartbreaking. Her wet hair covered parts of her face and water was still pouring over her. She looked helpless.
"V?" Was all Uzi got to say before the disassembly drone tensed up and her endoskeleton started to shake. Pants and suppressed sobs were all that escaped the drone in front of Uzi, and when she tried getting closer, V cowered, pushing herself on the floor into the corner of the shower.
With her knees to her chin, one cone-shaped arm wrapped around her legs and the other in a protective position, hiding most of her face, V looked...vulnerable.
Noticing her girlfriend's reaction, Uzi moved backward. V must've thought she was someone else. Why else would she be this scared at the sight of her own girlfriend? Did Uzi do something?
V seemed to relax slightly, but she still looked like a helpless, terrified kitten in the rain. It hurt Uzi to see someone so important to her look like that. Only a year or two ago, Uzi would be scared of V, stating what she would think would be her final words if she crossed by any disassembly drone. Never in a million years did she ever entertain the idea of dating not one, but TWO of them. And now one of them is terrified of her.
As Uzi prepared to speak again, she heard V mumble something mixed with a sob. Uzi's audio receptors may not be as advanced as her girlfriend's, but she could make out a few words.
"Don't hurt me" were those words. The rest were lost to the sounds of whimpering and water from the shower hitting the floor, but Uzi's heart sank at the thought of what those words implied.
"V... it's me, Uzi"
It was a softer tone and volume, and it seemed to have worked as V relaxed a little bit and lowered her hand. However, she was still shaking and her eyes were still hollow.
Uzi leaned down to get on V's level, in an attempt to make her more comfortable. "it'll be okay" she comforted. Maybe it won't be, she had no way to tell, but it may help calm V down. She grabbed the towel V had hung on the hanger. "Can I get you out of here?"
V, still shaking and her eyes still hollowed, nodded. She didn't say anything, as if her voice were being held under a lock and key.
Uzi got into the shower and turned the water off as V stared at her, with digital tears hanging from the eyes displayed on her screen.
The worker drone reached out a tender hand to her girlfriend's cheek, which she immediately leaned into and closed her eyes.
Now that she was closer to V, the stress lines under them were more obvious, and as she brought back her hand, Uzi draped the towel over V like a blanket.
"Do you want me to dry you off or do you want to do it yourself?" Uzi asked in a loving tone.
V took a bit to respond, but she then replaced her eyes with text that read "I'll do it, but stay here" before adding on a "please".
Uzi nodded in response, and V blinked away the text as Uzi used one hand to interlace her fingers with V's and the other supporting her other arm, lifting it up and allowing V's limp body to stand at its full 5'11" height.
V took the towel that was hastly draped over her and wrapped it around herself after she had dried off the plastic and silicone that shielded her insides from the elements.
Uzi looked back at V once she was done but before Uzi got the chance to marvel at how beautiful her girlfriend looked, V collapsed onto Uzi before clearing her throat and spoke.
"Can you..." She paused, as if she was incapable of asking Uzi to do anything for her.
"Can you brush my hair?"
Her voice was scratchy from the crying, and her voice was still shaking despite thinking all the tears were gone. Maybe it was from embarrassment. The strong and terrifying Serial designation V asking for help? She might as well be dead at that point.
"of course..." Uzi smiled before going onto her tip toes and closing the gap between the two drones in a short, soft, loving kiss.
~~~~~
Uzi walked out to let V change, and after a few minutes she saw her girlfriend in a baggy purple sweater collapse into a hug, burying her head into Uzi's shoulder.
"..'m sorry for scaring you" was all V said, partially muffled by Uzi's shirt.
But Uzi just hugged her back and smiled into V while running her fingers through her girlfriend's still partially wet hair. "Its okay, it's not your fault"
V must've believed her. Or didn't feel like arguing. Because she just hummed in reply before pulling away from Uzi and sitting on the edge of their bed infront of the worker.
As Uzi played with V's hair, she wondered what must've happened. Who did V think she was? Why was she scared? Was she stuck in some kind of memory? What was happening in it?
She didn't want to ask too much. V was already secretive about her past even after getting together. But if it was hurting someone she cares about so much, she should at least ask her if she's okay now.
So she asked.
"What happened in there?" And immedietly felt bad. What if she was forcing V to re-live this memory? Was she overstepping a boundary?
"Uh.." V stopped in her tracks, almost trying to remember what just happened before Uzi cut off her train of thought.
"N-not that you have to tell me! It's just-" Uzi sighed. "I just want to know if you're okay"
A moment of silence passed, but to Uzi it felt as though it was a thousand years, and to V, half a second.
V took a deep breath before adjusting her position so that her knees were to her chest and she rested her face on them. "No... you deserve to know. Just-" another beat passed. "- just... i-it's just hard to talk about... uh.."
It was hard to keep talking, trying to figure out which words to carefully string together to form a cohesive sentence. She shouldn't be nervous, but she hasn't really talked about this to anyone. Her mind just kept flashing back to moments she has tried so hard to forget every time she wants to attempt to tell the most important person in her life what happened.
"V? You okay? You don't have to talk, you know"
Shit. She zoned out.
V collected herself and rehearsed what she'd say in her head. Why was she overthinking? She can trust Uzi.
"I..." Her eyes trailed down, and Uzi moved to the left of V to get a better look at her.
"Th-this was like, a long time ago and-"
She stared at her hands, and watched as she fiddled with them to relieve a bit of her anxiety. Or was it fear? Nervousness? Even she can't pinpoint the feeling. But, she does know she needed to talk about it.
"When I was a- uhm... w-when I worked for the Elliot manor... there were some...bad people" she took a slightly shaky breath. Uzi could probably see that V wasn't okay. Maybe that's why she rested her hand on top of V's after she said that. And despite the topic at hand, and emotions racing through her head, V made eye contact with her girlfriend and smiled. Not the sadistic smile she sported in hunts, or the beaming one she wore when Uzi said that magic three-letter word after asking her out. It was soft. It was okay. She's safe with Uzi.
So she took another shaky breath, and continued. "They hurt me. And... the ways they did that, varied..."
Uzi's digital eyes displayed slanted lines, reminiscent of human eyebrows when someone was sad.
"A-and one of those ways... included parts of me that I still wonder why I have. Maybe it was to feed their sick fantasies" it was hard to talk about, she figured by now the lump in her throat would've left but her voice cracked as she finished that last sentence.
V opened her mouth so speak, but choked on a sob that she had been trying to suppress. Damn it. She can't be crying now. She supposed to be scary. What was she even doing right now? She was stupid to think she can be vulnerable. She's supposed to be big and scary.
While V spiraled in her thoughts, hypocritically degrading herself for things she did three seconds ago, she snapped out of it by a sudden weight, and arms wrapping around her.
It was Uzi hugging her.
Suddenly, she couldn't control it anymore, and V let out more sobs as she finally broke down. Uzi held her through all of it, she even moved in front of V to face her. And as V sobbed and cried into the crook of Uzi's neck, she wrapped her own arms around the worker, despretly shaking and clawing onto her to make sure Uzi will never leave her side.
Between V's slightly muffled sobs and sniffles, Uzi lifted her head slightly to plant a kiss on V's cheek and whispered comforting words into her audio receptors.
"I'm here now" "Its okay now" "im sorry", they all helped but sounded the same to V. Until Uzi said a particular phrase.
"You didn't deserve that"
What a joke. She absolutely did. Maybe she hadn't done anything bad when it happened but the things that were done to her was probably something whatever higher being looking down on her did to punish her ahead of time. Maybe they thought it would stop her from doing the horrible things she did later in her life as a disassembly drone. In reality V didn't deserve Uzi. Or even N. She doesn't deserve loving partners who care about her. She doesn't deserve the affection she received from them or any forgiveness that they gave her.
But V couldn't even muster the energy to say that. Uzi would probably tell her it was absurd to think that way. Maybe it was. It was hard for someone programmed to serve people to imagine those people may be bad.
At some point in her thoughts, V's sobs got reduced to just occasional hitches in her breath, and her digital tears were replaced with tired lines under golden eyes. And they were very visible to Uzi, who pulled away from the hug and was now holding V's larger hands that were slightly illuminated by the yellow triangles on them.
"Hey, it's getting late. Do you want to go to bed now?"
V blinked a few times and looked at Uzi, then to her own hands. Hands that were made to kill people like Uzi. But right now, hands that were being held by her. And she watched as Uzi's thumbs brushed along her palms.
"Yea. Maybe" V finally sighed, and leaned onto Uzi, who pushed her own weight towards her and hugged her harder.
An "I love you" escaped the purple drone as she rubbed soothing circles on her girlfriend's back. It almost made V start crying again.
She was fine. Everything's fine now. She'll never be hurt that way again. She's loved now.
She's loved now
V's voice shaky from the newly built up tears, she reciprocated the statement
"I love you, too, Uz"
It was quiet, muffled, half mumbled, but it was enough for Uzi to hear her and squeeze her girlfriend tighter.
They shuffled a bit while cuddling, and ended up in a position where Uzi was spooning V. There's a first time for everything, she guessed. But it wasn't that bad, being cradled by the one she loved the most.
Minus V's purring and occasional sniffle, it was relatively quiet. But, it was comfortable. Uzi subconsciously ran her fingers through V's hair as V listened attentively to the rhythm of Uzi's core and wrapped her tail around Uzi's leg. Getting used to how clingy and physically affectionate V was took a bit of time, especially since before dating, Uzi's only ever seen her murdering people, playing with their corpses like dolls only to animalisticly take a bite of her prey.
But it was nice. Paired with V's purring, Uzi really enjoyed cuddling with her, too.
It was a while before V broke the silence.
"You know... I never thought I'd ever tell anyone that experience, much less to a worker"
Uzi looked down at V in her arms, which caused V's complimentary eyes to look back at her.
"Not that it's a bad thing. I'm really glad I could finally talk to someone about it. I never thought I'd see myself this close to someone like you. You opened my eyes to a diffrent way of looking at things, and I'm forever grateful we met. I'm sorry I was such a dick at first."
Uzi's face softened at the remark before she leaned down to kiss V's hair
"Don't say that. You were scared. And you've changed" Uzi paused to cup V's face in her hands and lean in for another kiss, V holding the back of Uzi's head.
"I'm glad you trust me enough to talk to"
V didn't talk, but her smile and blush spoke a thousand words. Uzi just held V to her chest and continued playing with her hair.
It continued like that for a while, until V's "eyelids" grew heavy, and she eventually succumbed to her exhaustion.
~~
Uzi didn't know how long it's been, and frankly she didn't care. That was until she heard footsteps walking into her room before she saw the unmistakable yellow headband of a disassembly drone.
"Hey Zi d-" N cut himself off as he saw V asleep and walked over to Uzi.
"Did something happen?" He asked Uzi in a hushed tone, careful not to wake the drone laying in his girlfriend's arms.
"...Yea. I don't know if she would let me say what happened, but..." the worker looked at the murder machine curled up in her arms, asleep, and smiled. "...she's fine now" Uzi replied, petting V's hair.
N's face shifted to a sympathetic smile as he sat on the edge of the bed and eyed V.
"I hope she is" was all he said before going behind Uzi and snuggled up with her, hugging her from behind before he too fell asleep.
Which left Uzi alone with her thoughts.
V was right, though. A few years ago Uzi's life was hell. It was hard to even avoid hurting herself. But she's so glad she didn't. Now instead of walking to her home after a shitty day at school to be ignored by her father, she walks home after another day of university to a home with her girlfriend and boyfriend, ready to tell them about her day and hear about theirs. Now she looks forward to life, as long as she has her two favourite people in it.
Eventually, Uzi also fell asleep, being hugged by N and V, and hugging the latter back.
122 notes · View notes
haveateadude · 6 months ago
Text
bleak horizons
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summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ yeah, okay. maybe you're sad.
warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ depression, self-harm, mommy issues (dw there's A LOT of fluff and cuddles and hugging and it all ends up alright) this is just talked about but it can still be triggering!!!!! pls take care of yourselves!!!!!!!! my dms are open :)
author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ wasn't planning on posting this but i love validation. also, this is not like cannon ellie i guess?? i did a really bad characterization bc i used this as a vent and i just wanted comfort lmao. hope this still makes y'all feel seen or fucking something. btw this first part is really boring hehe, i wrote this when i was in a rush and in a train and i was tired and sad so i don't mind if it flops lol
i hate this so much idk why i'm posting this as my first pots. aghh. here u go ig. don't hate on me. bye.
(not proofread, sorry abt that)
pt1 — pt2 — pt3
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you look so out of it
pull it together
we can love you
forever and ever
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I've recently moved in with Ellie after weeks of looking for someone to move in.
I had checked other apartments, but this was the one that didn't smell like there was a corpse under my feet, hidden from the light beneath the floor and it didn't look like it was haunted by ghosts. The walls weren't chipping away, also, so that was a plus. There's no denying that getting used to living with someone else was difficult, but it was the only alternative to live away from my parents. Not to mention I had developed feelings for Ellie—she's beautiful, with those eyes and auburn hair, and her tattoos just make her look fucking badass.
After a few weeks, I settled in with her: we both have a routine, and established unspoken rules, and now it's comfortable living with her.
Tonight was a lovely night—I had already finished everything I had to do, and I didn't have an exam until next week, probably—until I got a call from my mother. I know I can't run away from this one. She always threatens to unroll me from college and take me home when I don't answer her calls. And I know she's capable of doing so.
“Hello?” I said as I went out to the kitchen, to take a glass of water.
“You know, most people say something sweet when they answer their mother.”
I roll my eyes, even if she can't see me. It was just a fucking hello.
“What happened, Mom?” I ask, not wanting to fight.
She takes a second to answer, “Well—I was looking at some resources and there are a lot near your area…”
She takes a second to answer, “Well—I was looking at some resources and there are a lot near your area…”
“Resources about what?”
“Therapy. Conversion therapy.”
It takes all of myself not to gasp, or cry. I don't know. I hear Ellie going out of her room, and walking towards the kitchen. I don't care if she's here; I haven't been caring about anything these past few days.
“Okay,” Is all you say. I don't know how to answer, or what to do. I leave the glass on the aisle with trembling hands.
“That's all you have to say?”
“I—I don't know what you want me to say.”
“‘Thank you’, maybe?” I stay quiet, I don't want to thank her, I don't want her to speak to me ever again. “You could also get therapy for, you know…”
“For what, mother?”
“The cutting. Your scars—I always thought they looked repulsive. No one is going to lov—”
I hung up before she could say anything else. I hate her. I hate my mother. I can't even believe she's a mother, let alone mine. I suddenly feel the need to hurt, and I hate to admit it, but my mother has always been right about the way they look—so I just shut my eyes and try to breathe. It always helps—deep breathing, that is. I have to remind myself that I'm clean. I've been clean for months. Maybe even a year, I lost count.
“You okay?”
Ellie's voice almost makes me flinch, already having forgotten about her. I open my eyes as she walks over to me and lays her elbows on the aisle, while I rest my back on the counter behind her.
I look at her, with a knot in my throat, “I'm fine.”
“Your mother…” She makes a pause, short enough to not make me go crazy, “Is she, like, a pain in the ass?”
I chuckle at that as I cross my arms, “Yeah.”
“If it gets too bad, you can talk to me. I don't mind. And my dad has some contacts, we can maybe scare your mother away.”
“It's okay,” I tell her with a smile. “I can manage.”
“I know,” She smiles, and I can feel my heart fluttering in my chest.
Before I say anything I regret, I go to your room with my door open—a technique I've acquired to avoid hurting myself.
I sit at my desk and look up conversion therapy first, I want to know what this is all about—I know that it's harmful to people in the community, that it leaves you screwed and fucked up. I don't like what pops up on my screen, so I close the tab and go to another one—where I search for therapy. The real one.
I went to a lot of therapy sessions, but my mother was always behind them, so I don't know if it ever was effective. I like this one a lot better. It should be helpful. It will help, I know that for a fact.
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I'm having dinner with Ellie, which we normally do—today we ordered, since we were hungry and it always takes a little while to prep a meal—when I think to ask her about the topic.
“Do you know any therapy center?” I ask her. “Or the number of a therapist? Whatever.”
If she's curious, she doesn't show it. She stops chewing on her food, then looks at me; then continues to chew, and after she swallows she speaks, “Sure, I have some friends that go to the same therapist, so it's completely trustworthy, I guess. I can ask for the number.”
I wipe my mouth with the napkin on my side, “Yeah, that'd be alright.”
Ellie takes a sip from her cup and then looks at me, “You okay, though…?”
“I'm fine, just—you know, making sure everything's okay.”
She nods, “Got it—I was just asking.”
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After my first therapy session, I ended up tired. My therapist—which feels weird to say out loud and even in my head—is a nice lady in her thirties who looks like a hippie.
I've realized I tend to lie a lot—I didn't talk about self-harm or my mother. Or anything else, really. Just about the movie Speak, and then almost cried when talking about the weather.
So, “Yeah, it went well,” is my answer when Ellie asks how it went, sitting in her car. She picked me up since I had taken my car to maintenance.
“Okay, then,” she says once the car engine starts. She connects her phone to Bluetooth, and we listen to music for a while. Ellie places her hand on my knee when I start bouncing my leg, which sends shivers down my spine and gives my brain something to think of that isn't any of my shit. “Do you want to go eat something?”
“Sure,” I accept. Her thumb makes little circles on my knee. I wonder if she knows what she's doing, her eyes are still fixated on the road. My heart does the flutter thing that it did a few days back again, and my core heats up.
She doesn't want you, I try to convince myself. She's your friend, she doesn't want you. She will fall in love with you, not your brain nor your scars, and when she finds out about the way you think she'll leave.
When we arrived at the restaurant, we ordered a plate together, since we always share and the food here comes in big sizes that we wouldn't finish if we ate it separately.
When we arrive at the restaurant, we order a plate together, since we always share and the food here comes in big sizes that we won't finish if we ate it separately.
“So, how's work?” I ask when we're waiting for our food.
“It's going well, I guess.”
“You guess?”
"I just hate my boss."
I furrow my eyebrows, “do you want to talk about it?”
“It's fine, he just sucks. But well, Jesse is postulating to—you know, be a boss; that fucker.”
I chuckle, “Well, I like Jesse.” I soon realize what I said, and my cheeks go red. “Not in a, uh, romantic way or anything. You know. Fuck. He's just nice.”
“Just nice?”
“I like you better than him,” I blurt out, which only adds to my embarrassment.
Oh, oh.
I like Ellie.
Fuck, yeah. You do.
Who am I kidding, I knew I did. From the start—from the first time she looked at me, for the first time touched my hand and spoke to me; for the first time she played guitar for me and made dinner because she knew how tired I was.
Ellie is flushed. I can tell.
“Oh, do you?” She asks with a grin.
The waitress comes with our food, and leaves the plate. I look at her, she looks at me at Ellie and then leaves.
I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and lay my elbow on the table, with my chin propped up in my hand.
“What if I do?”
She bites her lip, looks at mine and then at the food, “The food's getting cold.”
What the fuck. What the actual fuck. Did that actually happen, or was it my imagination? Holy shit. Shit! Fucking fuck.
It leaves me thinking, but my thoughts leave when I hear her laughter after I crack a joke.
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We take the stairs up the apartment, and we laugh all the way up. We just laugh and laugh and laugh because she said something and now I'm almost falling to the floor from how much my stomach hurts.
“Stop,” I say when we get to our apartment door. I keep laughing because Ellie's laughing too and she can't open the door. “My stomach hurts.”
She looks at me and laughs. Idiot. I laugh, too.
“Hey!” We hear our neighbor say. “Quiet down!”
“We're sorry!” I exclaim back, as he closes his door.
Ellie giggles, “You're so fucking dumb, I'm not sorry at all.”
“Shut up,” I say.
“Oh, make me.”
And then—oh, god—and then, and then she looks at me as the curvature of my lips goes down, and then I kiss her.
I kissed her. I fucking did. Me, not her—not Ellie's brave and confident ass, but mine. The butterfly in my chest flutters harder when she kisses back. She puts both of her hands on my waist and deepens the kiss, while my hand moves from her cheeks to her neck, then finds its way to her torso.
Ellie manages to open the door without breaking the kiss, and then she shuts the door with her foot.
“We should—” I speak between kisses. “Ellie—couch.”
“Yeah, okay. Okay.”
Our tongues fight, but our souls mend and I find my way to her in every sense. 
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marnikula · 7 months ago
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Can u do early seasons spencer x reader who has a lot of problems and they let people walk all over them and they dont set boundaries and they struggle with their emotions. Reader likes spencer a lot but doesn't seek him out bc they feel like he deserves better! And u can decide what happens but make it happy ending :)
Oh my word, I literally spent like 2 hours writing this because I wrote something and then my internet cut out when I posted and now it's lost, so I had to rewrite it. Hope you enjoy!
Cw: gn reader, people dumping work on reader, Spencer being cute
Enjoy!
You were a doormat. You knew it, your friends knew it, everyone knew it. You tried to set boundaries, to say no, but it never seemed to stick. Saying no made you feel guilty, it made you feel like a bad person even though you knew you weren't.
Being a doormat, people tended to walk all over you, requesting ridiculous things of you. That is how it came to be that you were sitting alone in the bullpen, the clock ticking away, showing you that it was around midnight and you still had a whole stack of papers to go through. You felt yourself about to fall asleep, and truly, you were too tired to fight it off when a ding signaled the arrival of someone.
Without even turning to look who it was you knew it was Spencer Reid. You recognized his footsteps, and even if you didn't, the smell he brought with him would have alerted you. It was the smell of coffee mixed sweet undertones, almost as if he had spent his whole day in a café. It was intoxicating. "What are you still doing here?" "Working, I have a lot of stuff to finish before tomorrow" "you mean today" looking back at the clock you could see he was right, it was now officially the next day.
"Do you need some help?" without even waiting for you to decline Spencer took half of the pile you were working on. He moved fast, knowing you well enough to know that you hated asking for help, especially from him, he just could never figure out why.
"Spencer, you really don't need to, I've got this" reaching your hands to take the files back only to be swatted away by the doctor was something you did not expect. "I'm not saying you don't have it, I'm just going to help you so you can go home earlier"
Sighing you admitted defeat and went to go make coffee for the two of you. With Spencer's help you managed to make it through the massive stack of papers on your desk in less that an hour, something you would never have been able to do on your own.
"You, doctor Spencer Reid, are amazing, what can I do to thank you?" it was a slight tease on your part. You didn't expect him to ask you anything return, it wasn't like him, he was too nice . That was one of the things you loved about him, and one of the reasons you willed the crush growing in your heart to shrivel up and die. He deserved so much better than you. Someone with a mind as amazing as his own, someone with kindness rivaling his and someone who knew how to say no. You were none of those. At least not in your own eyes.
"You could go on a date with me" Spencer surprised himself with those words, he really hadn't meant to say them out loud, but he really liked you, and in a moment of confidence inspired by sleep deprevation, he decided to take a chance.
"Really? You mean it?" the both of you were blushing hard at this point, him thinking about how he could have possibly screwed this up and you thinking about how this could possibly get any better.
"I-I mean, only if you want to, you really don't have to feel pressured, I know I said I would take it as paiment, but honestly spending time with you was enough of a payme-" grabbing his face in your hands you turned him to look at you, shutting off his ramblings with the movement and shutting off his brain with your words
"I would love to"
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mayisgoingnuts · 10 months ago
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I saw the requests for fics were open I just need to ask if it's ok to put one in and if it's ok to have an x reader even if platonic bc honestly I'm in a mood lol and I am craving LER ALASTOR idk why and I love your fics and you are a great writer
Author's note: EVERYTHING I NEEDED WAS AN IDEA AND WHEN YOU POSTED THAT ONE PROMPT I WENT
I KNOW WHAT I GOT TO DO NOW.
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"Good night"
Summary: You were struggling to sleep that night, so in defeat, decided to just give up and stay up all night. Sadly for you, Alastor didn't exactly approved your idea.
Warnings: Swearing.
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Bags under your eyes would appear if you didn't go to sleep, and you knew it pretty well. It sucks, really sucks, but laying down on your bed doing nothing and being unable to finally take a good night of sleep sucks the double of those two combined.
As much as the TV wasn't that entertaining, it was enough to keep you awake and slightly less bored.
3AM, still nothing. You took a nap on the couch, but then woke up again. Did you actually took a nap? Or did you brain just turned off? Not sure, not bothered enough to care.
But, suddenly, something else finally got your eyes off of the screen.
"And what are you doing down here so late?"
The sudden voice made you stop on your tracks, jump even, as it came right after hours of silence.
"Jesus fucking Christ Alastor, I almost had a heart attack!" You took a deep breath, calming yourself down. "I'm just watching TV."
Alastor looks to the TV with the corner of his eyes, squeezing them slightly to show his displeasure. "Those things can be quite unhealthy at this time, my dear. Why don't you just turn this off and go to sleep?"
"Because I don't wanna and I can't sleep." You didn't even wanted to sound abrupt, but your filters slowly disappear when you grow more and more tired.
"Now that's just rude." Replied, not offended at all but rather keeping this in his mind for later. "Can't sleep, you say? Well, I have a solution for that." He added with a confident grin.
"...does it include hitting my head onto a wall to knock me out or something?"
Alastor stared at you with a blank face, blinking a few times. "Two solutions."
You rolled your eyes and finally sat, raising an eyebrow. "What solution?"
Alastor lets out a snicker, and with a single snap of his fingers, both of you are back on your room. You fell on your bed a bit too aggressively, but it's not like he cares.
"We only need to get rid of that energy of yours. I'm sure it'll be as easy as pie, you're already almost falling asleep."
"Uh... okay... and what's your plan, exactly?"
Your question made him look at you mischievously, which startled you and already made you let your guard up.
"Alastor-"
But before you could react, something pinched your side right behind you. As you looked, it was one of Alastor's little creatures. Is that a little man? A doll? A little demon? A pet? Whatever this thing is, made you flinch with a single touch.
And just like Alastor could spawn one of those, getting more of them needed the exact same effort.
"What are those??"
"Oh, I never really gave them names, so call them whatever you want. They're also harmless."
Three of them surrounded you, poking your upperbody in different spots while giggling.
"H-Hey! Gehehet off!" They may be weird but also looked weirdly adorable, what made you hesitated on pushing them away. "Thehehey're tick-"
But you stopped yourself right away. It got the other demon's attention, since your fit of giggles was definitely not the cause of the sudden hold up.
"Did you just interrupted yourself?" He asked teasingly, leaning towards you with a more bratty smile.
"Whahahat?! Nohohoho!"
Alastor shrugged, throwing his staff lightly from one hand to another. "If that's the case, I must have misunderstood. After all, there's no reason for you to not say 'tickle'." His head turned back to you, curiously. "Correct?"
As they keep tickling you, you ended up falling on the bed, rolling back and fourth as a poor attempt to escape. "ShuhUHUHUT UP!"
The deer chuckled at your reaction to it. "Oh, I'm not the one who should! Your volume may wake up someone in the hotel."
"Thehehen STOHOP!"
Your words entered his ear and leaved the other, or even worse, didn't even entered in any at the first place, as everything he did was look at his nails.
"I can't, I already promised to help. It is getting you tired after all-"
"FUHUHUHUCK!!"
Your tone suddenly increased in a... huge volume. More than he expected, what startled the guy. Wanting or not, if anyone wakes up he'll end up getting in trouble aswell, so he's thinking twice about his plans.
However, something is off for him. Once you lay down, you didn't got up again nor tried to. It definitely isn't bothering you as much as it looks like, and this fact did not make it worse for himself. More likely to be the opposite, as an encouragement.
The inner conflict was agonizing to keep, and Alastor's eyes show that. With a sigh mixed with a humming, he snaps his fingers, finally sparing you from the shadows.
Your laughter slowly died down, and without realizing, your face shifts to one of disappointment.
"Hah... heh... what..?"
The taller one sits by your side, avoiding visual contact but, for some reason, not the physical one.
Before you could react, Alastor quickly recomposed himself, looking at you with a cheeky grin once again while his own hand touches your stomach.
"It is unfair for me to get punished because of your sensitivity, so I'll try something lighter this time."
The demon's fingers began to scratch, but not hurt, tickling you in a slow yet surprisingly effective way. You grabbed his wrist, but didn't have the courage to take it off as you knew it would come to an end if you did.
Your chuckles, snorts, cackles, any noises you would make, would spread the room as long as he wanted, and the silence would only return once you're finally asleep.
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closetcasefabray · 2 months ago
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jesus saves (i spend)
i have been writing parts of an avatrice college au for two gd years now. the ideas & writing are scattered between here (one of the tags below should work), my whatsapp convos with @snowandwolves, on discord, my dinosaur laptop that crashes, & my email. it’s a fucking disaster but whatever so am i & not once in my life have i had my shit together so this is all unsurprising.
SO what i’m saying is, here’s the only part i have ‘formally’ written in fic form bc i posted that other ficlet. doing this made me almost throw my dino laptop & my phone out a window on several occasions—that’s why there isn’t more. but i just wanna share this.
more notes & rambles at the end.
//
You notice her because it's syllabus week of your freshman year, it's an 8 AM class, and you're fairly confident you're still drunk from the party you attended last night, but she raises her hand and correctly answers a question posed by your theology professor without hesitation. Your professor, Father Vincent, was likely hoping for a good guess at best, but there she is, exceeding expectations from the moment she speaks. You pickup on an accent, which you would find incredibly attractive if you weren't so thrown by her perfect and concise response, like a well-prepared speech is always readily accessible in the back of her mind—a girl with all the answers. A young woman, really. 
You, however, are not—you're just a girl. You're just a girl who shows up to her morning classes smelling like the bar or the house party from the night before, like the weed you started smoking almost immediately upon arriving to university during orientation week, like the cigarettes you smoke because it affords you a little more quiet outside and an excuse to borrow a lighter and talk to a cute boy or a pretty girl.
You're just a girl who technically died, existed in nothingness for a whole minute before being ripped back into a reality of blank ceilings and the sound of your heartbeat in your ears. You're just a girl strangers prayed for after they heard about the American child pulled from the wreckage. You're just a girl who didn't get any credit for teaching herself to stand again, to walk again—and if you’re being completely honest, you’re a girl who’s incredibly bitter that a god you never saw in that one minute got all the credit and none of the blame—for taking your mother from you, for taking years from you that had to be spent healing from god’s grace or lack thereof. 
You're just a girl who is tired of being told to look at her life as an expression of holiness, who thinks it is more so the consequence of indifferent stardust. But you still look for the beauty in that, in humanity and its flaws—these meaningless beings in a vast universe, creating and destroying their own little, myopic worlds on this spinning rock. Some will dream of poetry for their lovers, and some will dream of arsenals to level cities. You wonder how many lips were pressed together in a final kiss versus hands clasped together in prayer when fire fell from the sky in the name of God. You wonder what that says about faith.
You'd like to think if your mother could see you, she'd laugh at the irony because once you were baptized, she never took you to church. God finds a way, so you spent five miserable years in a Catholic orphanage before you were sent back to America. People said you were lucky to have two years in a foster family at your age, but it felt like living with strangers who were tasked with the minimum of keeping you alive. Then you were moved into a home for teen girls with a nun at the helm, and that’s where you actually felt fortunate for the first time in years. It was there that Mother Superion helped you with your studies and college applications. So here you are, tipping into a hangover in one of the oldest buildings on campus, learning theology from a priest.
But your mom would understand. (You don’t remember much of her, and you try not to think about that too deeply, or else you have to deal with the resulting ache that comes from reaching inside yourself for something that’s gone.) You have spliced together what you can recall into a short reel—you mom buckling into your car seat while humming a show tune, showing you how to fold a pizza slice and telling about a city famous for their pizza, and holding your hand in a museum in Spain, promising to take you to another big museum closer to home, the home you never saw again. So you promised yourself and the parts of her you carry that you’d make it here.
You would have had to pay almost full tuition if you wished to attend your reach, requiring immense debt, so you ended up at the school that offered you a ticket to the city and a hefty enough scholarship you could get through four years without requiring loans or a full-time job to afford it. (You first refused to use your mother’s death as a sob story in you application letter, but Mother Superion put her hand on yours and said, So rarely do these letters contain truth, but do not be afraid to tell yours. In telling your truth there is a sadness, yes—and I know you detest pity—but of all the things that have been taken from you, do not feel guilty for taking some of it back to live a better life.) You remember getting your acceptance letter, and looking up at the sky and flipping it off, praying whatever god hears you, No thanks to you!
But your bitterness temporarily takes a backseat in your mind as you look at your classmate, beautiful in the refracted light shining through the stained glass window, speaking so graciously of god you'd think Jesus were in the room, about to hand her his latest work. It's poetry, bordering on scripture in a new tongue, and you'd almost be a believer if it didn't sound as if she had repeated these words—practiced—enough times to believe them herself. You wonder what that says about her faith.
If the nuns at the orphanage had spoken the gospel as she does, maybe you'd be here for different reasons. You're fascinated.
Behold, you are beautiful…
//
i promise this fic gets lighter & has some silliness. so some notes/tangents:
this is 100% self-indulgence bc i heard ‘write what you know’ & ran with that shit. when i visited a friend at a state school in a college town i was so so confused bc it was just a diff campus culture entirely. then i was going to make this set in an ambiguous city, but i literally have saved places in google maps that would be great places to kiss someone sooooo you get NY avatrice.
likely setting this before instagram & smartphones bc i’m old/lazy & i can.
the title is from st. vincent who my friend introduced me to in college. “paris is burning” changed my brain chemistry & so i listened to her music on repeat for ages—“jesus saves, i spend” is on the same album.
father vincent will not be a bad man or evil professor. he will be as he was before adriel—a lost man who found himself through god & still a little broken but caring & devout.
also song of songs/song of solomon is like… the only part of the bible i fucked with in theology class so that’s the reference at the end. also another line used in another scene with JC, chanel, & ava written in v rough form. maybe will share that later.
this is meant to be a fic with a post-grad sequel as well. not much written of that but a lot of ideas everywhere.
once i figure out where i’m moving (hahahaha i’m so stressed), i’ll consider a ko-fi or something (i wish emails & names weren’t shown though). but mostly i will likely need a second job to save up for an actually good computer/macbook. once i have that i’ll be able to post on ao3.
anyway thanks for reading & being here :3
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f1-stuff · 3 months ago
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Girl dad Carlos please! I miss that fic so much 🥲
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Okay. So.
I mustered up the energy to write a little vignette of this AU bc I also miss it and bc I didn't want to leave you two hanging! This is skipping ahead quite a bit to halfway through the season, but I'm still planning on writing and fleshing out that portion. I've just known for a while that this was gonna be an important part of the story and that I could jump into writing it right away!
It will probably be edited and adjusted for when the actual chapter is posted on ao3, but this is the 'rough draft' I guess! (Disclaimer: I know zero French and I haven’t had someone look over that bit yet!)
Anyway, enjoyyyy...
When there’s a knock on his door about two weeks into the summer break, his brain doesn’t compute for a full minute after he’s opened it.
Because why would Charles, his teammate, be here? In Spain? At his apartment? During their summer holiday, when they’re supposed to be ignoring any and all people and things related to F1, recharging their batteries, and remembering there’s more to life than racing cars? He and Charles have barely ever even texted during the summer break, let alone seen one another. So, again, why would Charles be at his front door.
Also, he’s a bit sleep deprived and delirious, so there’s every chance he’s hallucinating this.
“Uh...” he says, rather eloquently.
“Hey,” Charles says. And there’s a tentative smile on his face that Carlos can’t even begin to parse the meaning of. His brain isn’t just one step behind, it’s five steps. “Can...I come in?”
“Oh.” Again. Eloquent, Sainz. “Eh- yeah. Yes. Come in.”
“Sorry to stop by without a warning,” Charles is saying. But Carlos is too busy looking around in barely disguised panic at the absolute trash heap that is his home.
It’s not that he didn’t realize how much of a mess the apartment was before, but he sees it now through Charles’ eyes and feels a little like curling up and dying. There are bowls of half eaten food and dirty dishes piled in and around the sink. Various toys, games, books, and drawings are strewn over almost every surface, along with clothes (mostly socks, so many socks) littering the floor. Boxes and boxes of Lucy’s things that he hasn’t had time to sort through are stacked against the walls and in the corners. One of the only exposed walls by the couch has colorful marker all over it, Ana having done that particular masterpiece when he’d accidentally nodded off during Peppa Pig. (He’d been too tired to even properly get angry about it, which was perhaps a bad precedent to set if he didn’t want a repeat performance.)
It looks like a tornado has swept through his apartment. A tornado named Ana.
Not that Charles is much neater on a good day, and he doesn’t even have a kid as an excuse. But Carlos has a feeling that if this is the current state of his apartment, the state of his own appearance is probably no better. He hasn’t properly showered, shaved, or slept in days, and he doesn’t think he’s looked in the mirror in all that time either. For all he knows, he’s still got remnants of the braids Ana put in his hair yesterday. He certainly can’t remember taking them out...
Charles, on the other hand, looks fresh and groomed and sunkissed - everything Carlos would expect during the summer break.
He smells good, he thinks, unbidden. Then, immediately, Stop it.
Charles takes in the space around them, his eyes eventually settling on Carlos with an amused (and maybe slightly concerned) expression. But just as he’s opening his mouth to speak, there’s the sound of the bathroom door opening down the hall and the smattering of tiny feet running across the floor, before Ana declares in her tiny, yet surprisingly bold voice, “I didn’t have a diarrhea!”
Carlos doesn’t even have enough shame left to be embarrassed by his kid. His first instinct is just relief.
“Stomach virus,” he mumbles to Charles, by way of explanation. Then, to Ana, in Spanish, “That’s great, mi niña! Did you wash your hands?”
“Yeeeees!”
“Are you sure?”
“Uh-huh!”
“Good, because we, eh- we have a guest!”
It’s quiet for a moment, before Ana’s head pokes around the corner slowly. But her face lights up as soon as she sees who it is.
“Cha!” she shouts, but then immediately looks embarrassed by her own show of excitement.
“Coucou, Ana,” Charles says, amused. He kneels down and encourages Ana closer, accepting the tentative hug she gives him.
No matter how much they had bonded last time, it’s still been a while since they’ve seen one another, and some of Ana’s shyness has clearly returned. Still, it’s huge that she’s even initiated a hug, and Carlos feels a telltale twinge in his sternum at the image they both make.
“As-tu été bon pour papa?” Charles asks, cuffing her gently on the chin. Ana grins and nods. “J'ai un cadeau pour toi.”
Charles reaches into a bag that Carlos hadn’t even noticed he’d been carrying until he’d set it down to hug Ana, and he pulls out a pink rectangular thing, that Carlos squints in confusion at for a beat. He realizes what it is simultaneously with Charles’ next words.
“C'est une caméra. Pour que tu prennes des photos de ton papa.”
It’s a pink camera for kids, a unicorn adorning the front where the lens peeks out. Carlos almost rolls his eyes - of course Charles, with his recent photography kick, gifts his kid a camera. But the way Ana’s expression transforms with wonder as Charles demonstrates to her how it works is pretty precious.
Charles hands it over to her and she immediately points it at him. He pulls a silly expression, making her giggle. They both examine the photo, heads bowed close. Ana points it up at Carlos next.
“¡Sonríe, papá!”
He sticks out his tongue and her little finger presses the capture button. The joy on her face as the photo pops up on the screen, tilting it to show them even though it’s upside down, fills Carlos with so much warmth and love that he legitimately almost tears up.
God, he’s so freaking tired.
Ana bounds off to her room to gather her stuffed toys to take a ‘family picture,’ and Charles straightens back up, smile lingering on his cheeks even after Ana has disappeared down the hall.
Carlos wants to kiss him so bad. Becoming a father has turned him into such a sap.
“Ehm,” he clears his throat. “Thank you. That was- a nice gift.”
“No problems.”
“You know, you don’t have to buy her something every time you see her,” he says, humor lacing his words.
“I want to,” Charles insists, simply. They smile awkwardly for an extended beat, listening to the sounds of Ana down the hall in her room, talking to her animals. Charles’ eyes stray to his hair. “You have...something in your hair. Is that a braid-?”
“What are you doing here, Charles?” he asks, choosing to ignore the comment. “I thought you would be in Corsica, or somewhere.”
“I was. But I heard you and Ana had to cancel on the trip to Mallorca and-”
“Heard, how?” Charles looks sheepish, triggering his suspicion. So he repeats it. “Heard, how, Charles?”
“Your mum texted me-” 
He sighs, eyes shutting briefly in frustration. He wishes his mom would just stay out of this whole- thing with Charles. But, clearly, she knew he wouldn’t accept help from anyone else. And that he wouldn’t be able to turn Charles away…
“She didn’t tell me to come,” Charles rushes to say. “She was just worried because you refused to let her stay and help, and that you hadn’t found a sitter, or someone, yet. So I just offered-”
“Charles, please...” He breaks off with another sigh, rubbing his temples to stave off the oncoming headache. But it’s already too late, if the subtle pulsating pain, slowly increasing in intensity, is anything to go by. “You should not have come.”
“Carlos, don’t be stupid,” he scoffs. “Anyway, I am here.” And he supposes that’s true. Nothing can be done about it now. “You look tired.”
He huffs a small laugh, dropping his hands from his temples to meet Charles’ gaze.
“This is what someone looks like when their kid catches a stomach virus and then they catch that same virus from their kid, just when their kid is starting to feel better-”
“Why didn’t you let your mum help-?”
“I’m her dad,” he interrupts, breathing hard. But he softens his voice with his next words. “I can do this on my own. I just wanted to...”
He doesn’t really know how to finish that sentence, though. It sounds stubborn and stupid when he starts to say it out loud. None of this should be about him. It’s about Ana. And if he’d really needed help, he should’ve asked for it. For her.
Charles seems to know that he doesn’t have to say it - that Carlos is already thinking it. So, instead, he just claps a hand to his shoulder and squeezes.
“I think,” he says, “-you should get some rest.”
“Charles-”
“No, I’m serious. Go to your room, Mister Sainz.” A slow grin pulls over his features. And along with the genuine concern in his eyes, it’s almost enough to break through Carlos’ resolve. “You are exhausted. Ana will be fine - I will watch her. Just...rest for a minute. Okay? You don’t look like yourself.”
And he knows that must be true. He knows that he needs a lot more than just a few hours of sleep to feel somewhere close to normal again (a shower would be a good start). But it’s hard to even think of himself when he’s been so worried about Ana for days - researching how to get her fever to die down, trying to get her to drink fluids, watching her fitful face in sleep, his heart in his throat despite how the pediatrician had assured him she’d be fine.
But, then, he’d gotten sick, too. And instead of focusing on his own recovery, he’d had to fit in sessions of retching over the toilet in between caring for his kid and making sure she was properly fed. And the two of them had managed, even if it wasn’t ideal. They’d grown closer, he thought, by virtue of her needing him so much.
He couldn’t keep it together forever, though. Eventually, if he didn’t take a break, he’d fall apart completely.
It takes him a stubborn moment, the urge to argue bubbling up inside despite how glorious resting his head on a pillow sounds. But eventually he nods, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Thank you.”
Charles just looks at him with a mixture of fondness and exasperation. “You are welcome, Carlos. Now, go. You look like you are going to fall over at any moment.”
“I feel like I’m going to fall over at any moment.”
Charles laughs under his breath, pushing Carlos’ shoulder gently to aim him toward the hallway. “Well, fall over into bed, then.”
“I’m going,” he insists, letting his tired limbs and the heavy touch of Charles at his shoulder guide him toward his room.
He can deal with how insane this situation is - Charles showing up here, and what the hell it means that he’d come at all - once he’s had some sleep. For now, he’ll happily take it for granted.
He doesn’t even really remember climbing into bed before the exhaustion takes over, his body surrendering to fatigue now that he knows his kid’s in good hands. Trustworthy hands. Charles’ hands.
He thinks he can hear the faint sounds of their French floating down the hallway. It makes him smile with the last vestiges of energy he has left.
God, he is in so over his head.
----
WIP ask game
Link to fic on ao3 -> (x)
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kidsinsaturn · 11 months ago
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OMG HIII! I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU HAVEN'T ABANDONED THIS BLOG. YOU'RE LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CREATORS HERE.
I hope that your life has been well so far and sorry for my little outburst of joy.
I'm really looking forward to your new posts but please don't stress yourself about it.
Have a lovely day
boyfriend obito headcanons
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[🗼] just because I've been feeling a bit silly about this little guy, and I know I already have hcs of him but,,, it's not enough
and YESS I may have been off for a year but i'll always have that annual Naruto brainrot that lasts like six months lool but thank you lots anon love yaaa
character: obito uchiha
genre: sfw; fluff; nsfw
warnings: gn!reader; established relationship; silly obito; everyone happy au bc uwu; mention of insecurities; slight size kink
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-god, obito has been in my mind lately, and how could he not? he is sooo boyfriend material, he created the basic rules for a relationship to work, he is basically the creator of love
-he is just so silly at the beginning of your relationship!! like!! as if kakashi wasn't the reason you two got together because obito couldn't just go and confess to you!! are you nuts?? he'd lose it
-speaking of which, his confession was probably so messed up, but!! he didn't want to, wouldn't allow you to confess because he has that idea that it should be him who brings the relationship to a start
-"may I have the honor of being your boyfriend?" type of guy
-he literally asks everyone for advice and that's probably how you ended up knowing his feelings. obito told everyone and his friends just passed the word until it landed on you
-regardless of that messy start--obito will remember it and feel bad about it until the day he dies--, obito is a great boyfriend, like I said, he is a bit silly and the thing is, he may have idealized relationships too much
-obito may have watched all those stupid cliche movies in secret and thought that's how relationships are supposed to work!!
-would get into a fight for you, write you love letters, plan a secret date. any situation that appears on the kissing booth movies he is so willing to recreate them lol
-obito believes there is no such thing as the "3-month honeymoon phase" LIKE all the time, all the months, all the SECONDS he is with you should be honeymoon phase. only to be reinforced once you two get married
-of course it is beautiful and everything he does makes your stomach flutter with joy-- he is a gentleman ALWAYS, he holds the door for you, steps in first if it's a new place, and goes behind you everywhere
-and ok this is a bit angsty im sorry but this silly dude right here is very insecure okay:( I gotta be real here
-he didn't have a lot of recognition when he was a little boy and that may have messed him up a little. he will always feel like he is not enough for you, and that may cause some arguments sometimes
-he just says that you are too much for him and that he doesn't provide you that much and you're just like obito please go to sleep it's 4am
-and that's the tiring part probably: that he has these random bursts of self-consciousness at the most random times. you two are just eating and talking about some things your friends did, and oh obito just got this tight tug at his chest the second he thinks too much about your or his male friends. or even if he just saved you in a mission or whatever and it takes him like three business days to realize that he could have done a better job at rescuing you
-just be thoughtful with him ok because he seems the kind of guy that goes to sleep thinking about everything you said, nice or rude. overthinking king
-aside from his little insecurities heheh obito is giving you princess treatment like always and duhh if he doesn't do it, he beats himself up. obito has some "traditional ideas" about boyfriend and girlfriend, such as the woman should always receive flowers, never go alone in the street, and always have something of him with her (like a picture hahah silly boy)
-if you're into something like a sport or ballet or just something that's similar to a performance, he will be there at EVERY show or game, he will not miss any of them, and the day he is not there, that's probably because he is dead
-he is there holding the largest and most obvious poster with your face on the middle and the most Tumblr phrase he could think of. he blocks the view from the people in the back but he does NOT care
-if you are into something more private, obito will always be so happy providing your with materials and just his sweet time watching you as the most marvelous creature the gods ever created
-he always has the best intentions for everything. if something goes the wrong way, he is so devastated. say that you have too much work/paperwork/homework lately and he just wants to relieve some stress off your shoulders!! poor baby just made things worse: everything is on the wrong place and just his help wasn't helpful. obito feels stupid and dumb. he ends up cooking you something
-obito has all the love language because mmm his partner should feel loved in all the possible ways. just give him quality time and that's enough for him
-but overall, great boyfriend, he is your number one fan, admires absolutely everything you do and when you're not looking, little hearts form in his eyes when he looks at you, he is just so smitten he might as well just ask you to marry him after three weeks of dating
nsfw ->
-man gets hard just by hugging you
-please do not make fun of his condition okay:( he was just sexually restrained as a teen, and just overall shy about anything that had to do with sexy times
-my own hot take but obito probably stayed virgin by choice. like he was desperately waiting for the one to lose his v-card with because otherwise he feels like he is betraying his true love
-and ohhhh obito has NO idea of the beautiful, marvelous, oozing body he possesses. he is big, strong, tall, thick, and just mmmmm
-the first time you mention somehitng about his physique, he gets all flustered!! if you were in the middle of the act, he would need two minutes to calm down or he will cum by just hearing sweet words
-beautiful dick OBVS, he doesn't know how to use it, lets be reals. if you are his first time, he is so messy. his movements are so asymmetrical and have zero rhythm. after a few times, he learns
-I can only dream about obito's cock PLEASE. large, thick, curved just the right way to make you squirm. just BIG. his dick just springs up every time he takes his pants off and it hits his abdomen in the most sensual way posible. cock possible as large as your head whaaat
-his pre-cum is so bitter!! the first time you tasted it, you made a face. his cum is even sourer. obito feels a bit bad but he understands and doesn't say anything
-you are literally what matters during those sexy moments. he does not allow himself to feel any pleasure before you. it takes you a lot (just kneeling) to give him a head
-please all your sounds should be moans, or whimpers, or small screams of satisfaction, because if he SEES, or hears, or just senses that he may have hurt you, he stops completely and doesn't touch you until you convince him you are fine
-king of aftercare
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