#so much has changed in the system it's insane. what do you mean we

[euclydya]

some fuck in glasses just walked up to me and asked if i wanted to join his club im like What's it called he's like It doesn't have a name yet but when you join you get flowers :)) what doid i do to get invited. what's happeneing. what happened while i was gone.

[insertdisc5]

TIMELOOP GAMES REAL!??!??!!

hi i made a timeloop game called In Stars and Time and this is a whole post about other timeloop games you can also play.

some i liked. some i loved. some i didnt like. all are worth playing and like also listen the second friends and family heard i was making a timeloop game, i got bombarded with timeloop media recs. so here is a sampler in no particular order! NOTE: knowing some of those games are timeloop games is a spoiler. but. you are here. for timeloop games. so timeloop games you shall have

Outer Wilds

If you need to play one timeloop game, it's this one. Please play it blind. I swear to god you won't regret it. it's timeloops in space!!! it makes you think!!! there are so many "HOLY SHIT WAIT I GET IT NOW" moments!!! please just go play it please please please. some of the best environmental storytelling in a game. so many hints in plain sight. JUST PLAY IT

[way more timeloop games under the cut]

Oxenfree

I didn't actually like Oxenfree very much. But also it stayed in my mind for weeks after I finished playing it. that's how you know it's a good game. I really enjoyed the dialogue system in this, and how much the loop affected the characters. and it got so spooky!!!

Hikeback

i'm in the credits for this one because i was one of the inspirations heehee <3 i loved playing it… short little game about trust, self-sabotage, and never-ending cycles. highly recommend it

The Stanley Parable

Listen babes it absolutely counts. I replayed it a bunch while making ISAT, and I got immensely inspired by the dialogue, and how it catches you off guard sometimes? You get SO SO used to the narrator's "All of his coworkers were gone. What could it mean?" at the start of every game, and then for no reason instead it says "A soft wind blew outside and perhaps rain started, and if it did it stopped shortly after. Stanley hoped that he would one day see weather." like WHAT THE FUUUUCK IM GETTING CHILLS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

12 minutes

ok i know we all made fun of this game when it came out because the story is batshit insane HOWEVER!!!!!!!! i REALLY REALLY LOVED how doing the same actions multiple times would have slightly different outcomes. If you battle someone, the first time you get knocked out in one hit and the loop restarts. the second time you try, you evade the first hit, but get knocked out. the third time, you last a little bit longer, and a little bit longer, until you can pretty much hold your own against your enemy. And it applies to so many things in this. Retrying different things to see how they would change was a delight.

this game is also so bad its almost good, and if you're interested you HAVE to play it with friends so you can yell about how bad it is together.

Zero Escape

it's just a good series ok. escape rooms, and also time loops! the 3rd game in particular goes deep into The Math of how timeloops would work, which i think is interesting. sometimes timeloop games just go "yeah you can timeloop dont worry about it" and others go "OK HERE'S THE HOW AND WHY IT WORKS" and both are interesting!

START AGAIN: a prologue

this game has almost everything i could wish for in a timeloop game. depression. lines repeating. dying brings you back. you get new levels and skills because you're aware of the loops but your party members don't. so you get overpowered next to them and they Notice. just. party members who dont know about the loops still noticing something is wrong. you are acting differently than yesterday. you look sad. you are acting weird. you know too much. how did you know where the keys were? how did you know this would happen? what's wrong? talk to us. and oh my god this game has a sequel? which will probably have Actually Everything i could wish for in a timeloop game? i can't wait. who made this? (its me i made this)

Ghost Trick

ok its not really time loops and more time travel and only for 4 minutes HOWEVER!!!! you should play it. you know you should play it because everyone says so. so go play it

Elsinore

im sure its a great game but ive never seen/read hamlet. so thats a failing on my part. because. you absolutely need to know hamlet to understand this game lol i did like the whole "make sure to find out which events are Important and which ones aren't so you can have The Perfect Loop"! very fun. or it would be. if i. knew. hamlet

The Forgotten City

a friend kept recommending it to me and i didn't like it. its good! just not for me. but if you like to think a lot you should play it. another "make sure to find out which events are Important and which ones aren't so you can have The Perfect Loop" game

Gnosia

Gonna be real. I didn't like the story very much, in part because the game lets you choose your gender but still acts like youre a straight dude. HOWEVER the gameplay was very inspiring to me. Every loop is pretty much just an among us meeting, and you have to find out who the imposters are or everyone dies and you loop again. and sometimes you ARE the imposter, so you need to make sure no one finds out. or you loop again. rules get added as time goes on too. i REALLY loved how quickly the loops stacked up. seeing "loop 100" was such a nice moment. ive been here so long! i tried to recreate that somewhat for my own game…

Loop Hero

Technically not a timeloop game, but a loop game. It still absolutely counts because it's about loops and memories, and what are loops and memories together if not a timeloop. You have your little guy going through a closed loop, battling enemies, getting cards, and making the world whole again by using those cards to make forests, towns, lakes come to life. I am famously a Story First Gameplay Second kinda player, but I did play this 45h for the gameplay alone. I learned a lot about battle balancing and randomness by playing this!

You and Me and Her: A Love Story

you know doki doki litterature club? this came before. and one might say. it's. better. in some parts (and i say that as someone who LOVED ddlc!) i won't say much except it's a dating sim but with timeloops. with a lot of what it implies. why are you dating this girl a second time? a third time? a fourth time? choose another one already! it was such a fascinating game to play, and is incredibly meta in the way it talks about dating sims and visual novels. had a lot of very impactful moments however, i played the hentai version. some of the worst, most cringy sex ive ever read and heard. however, one might say the sex is an integral part of the game and its deconstruction of hentai/dating sims…? no. just play the steam version which doesnt have the horrible sex scenes and you will have a great time i think (or play the hentai version. if you like. to watch. horrible sex scenes???)

Higurashi

knowing this is a timeloop game is a massive spoiler. however, this game is more than a decade old, so,,, honestly if you havent played higurashi what are you doing. i know i just spoiled you on it but i was also spoiled on it and i can GUARANTEE YOU that you will still have an amazing time. one more thing. you gotta play with the original sprites or you're a fake fan

I Was a Teenage Exocolonist

starts as a visual novel/management sim/dating sim kinda thing, until you realize that every replay is a new timeline. so the main character can save people, because they remembered about them dying in a previous one. i wish the timeloop would affect the game/story more (let me find a certain character quicker once ive found them in a previous playthrough!!!), but timeloop aside, it's a very fun game to play!!!

that's it! hope you will find a nice timeloop game you like

[moonchild033]

Astro Observations-6💪

Helllooo! Here we go with Part-6 🤗 Feel free to comment down your thoughts/experiences💅💃

(These observations are based on the whole sign system, sidereal charts and all obs are subject to change with other aspects in the chart, so don't conclude anything with a single placement) ❤

Ascendant Lord in Cardinal signs can mean that the person has control over their mind and thoughts. They always have the tendency to focus on the brighter side of everything and are not easily influenced by anyone. They do what they decide to and unwaveringly stick to it.💪

Ascendant in Mrigashira, Chitra and Dhanishta - They can be short tempered and take hasty decisions. They're driven by emotions, making them prone to react based on their current emotions and regret it later. This can apply to 1H mars too.���

Mercury-Rahu conjunction (within 5 degrees) in 3/6/8/12H---Pls be careful on the internet. These placements can be affected by cybercrime issues. This could happen based on the house themes, not necessarily for everyone, just a reminder to stay safe sweeties.👩‍💻

Rahu in asc or in conjunction with ascendant lord - Delulu pro max placement fr. They be having a whole different world in their mind or acting like they have multiple personalities. It's so hard to read them, no matter how many yrs you spend with them, you'll still be wondering how they would react or what they would say for a particular situation. They shed their personality or remold it frequently that they feel like a whole different person within short spans of time. 🐍

Venus-Saturn conjunction in 12H especially for Gemini and Scorpio ascendants - Their first heartbreak would be insane. They could've got to the point of engagement or in a long term relationship, so used to each other and never would've imagined a breakup but it would strike them so hard one fine day, they would've pictured and planned their whole life with that person. This placement can give an unexpected, absolutely shattering kind of heartbreak in their first love.🤧

Dhanishta Moon- Conflicts with their mom. Mom could often use emotional blackmail as a weapon or leave the household often if it's in 8/9/12H.😬

11H lord in Ardra, Swati or Shatabisha- Friendships you get can be totally different from what you've expected. The friend you loved so much can surprisingly show their true colors and betray you whereas the person you didn't even like to interact with at first could become your loyal confidants. Forget getting like minded friends, you'll get the type of friends who will motivate you to be more open minded, teach you controversial/ type of stuff that doesn't go along with the conservative or large scale population. Whether they're a bad influence or good influence depends on the 11H lord.💯

Mars in 6-8 Alignment synastry (ie. If their mars is in 8H when counted from your mars, yours will be in 6H when counted from their mars)--The physical attraction is eternal and this could also be someone you'll have your first time with. The lust part will be never ending, if there are other long term aspects, this couple could turn out to be the ones having the same libido & yearning as before kind of physical intimacy even after manyyy yearrsss. As this alignment includes 6H too, the frequency will be high as 6H indicates routine.💀

Jupiter in Domicile/Exalted house in D9 in Woman's chart- Partner will suit your type so perfectly, it will feel like you've manifested the type of person you wished for. The downside is the qualities you wished for will be overexpressed, which can be a problem sometimes. If u wished for a kind hearted and helping person, they could be so much that they give out hefty checks out for donations, you could feel that the amount is unnecessarily high. They're what you wished for, you know that but sometimes it's too much and feels overwhelming or troublesome to handle.💖

Venus-Ketu conjunction in 12H-Especially in capricorn or aquarius can lead to unrequited love. They can be in delulu love for so many years and obsessed with them. They just want that one person and no one else, they would start to understand the reality that this is going nowhere only around 25yrs old. Guys, you deserve better wake up!🤗

This should be carefully analyzed- If your 11H or it's lord is stronger than 7H or it's lord, it can lead to a second marriage or multiple love affairs.😌

Venus in 2H (In Leo/Libra)- The type of ppl to woo the opposite gender by their flirtatious and spontaneous talks. They tend to spend a lot on their partners, the type of spending can be based on the naks. Magha venus can buy antique or unique products for their partners, they focus more on the status a specific gift shows rather than it's utility. Purva phalguni venus would buy a lot for themselves too and they would love joint assets, gifts that can be shared between the couple, like a luxury car or just a unisex branded hoodie. Vishaka venus would be the partners who take their better half on a shopping spree and let them buy anything for themselves, they mostly would like to leave the choice to their partner.💝

Let's Learn and Grow Together!💅💋

With Love-Yashi ❤⚡

Masterlist💖

[katakaluptastrophy]

Continuing to think about the horror of what happens to John, and the horrors of love...

When Alecto has first been created, she says to him "I picked you to change, and this is how you repay me?" and "What have you done to me?"

They're heartbreaking questions she has every right to ask, but there's something awful and ironic about them too. Because John also might have asked "what have you done to me?"

It's easy to get distracted by the cartoonish awfulness of John's own narration: "talk about police abuse", "come on, love. Guys as careful as me don't have accidents," "love a working tram system." But all of these comments come after moments where John has unwittingly come into proximity with violent death, an experience he repeatedly likens to having drugs forcibly injected into him; an omniscient, dream-like, out of body experience that seems to propel him forward through his basest impulses. The first time this happens, he's brought back from "the verge of something insane" by being shaken violently by P-. Lines like these aren't revealing John's diabolical plotting. They're a man who would rather own atrocities as premeditated than admit that he was losing his grip.

The second is when he encounters the soul of the earth. His human mind makes contact with the incoherent, furious soul of a planet. In any other context, this would be straightforwardly Lovecraftian. And everything he describes after that is full of elipses, jumbled, and detached. His friends are shot by gun-toting cultists and he says it was like a dream.

Hearing the earth screaming, feeling his friends' deaths under his skin like a drug, he might well have asked "what have you done to me?"

Alecto said to him, "I picked you to change, and this is how you repay me?" But as everything collapses, John says:

"I thought you were going to take me, somehow. Purge me. Use me as an instrument. But you didn't say anything...I was babbling, Show me. Come on. I'm ready. You kept screaming and screaming..."

John has spent months becoming something terrifying, an entity with yellow eyes and uncanny powers. He's discovered that death has an overwhelming impact on him that he cannot fully control. Everyone was relying on him to do something. And he did so many things: well-meaning things and stupid things and things that were lashing out in rage and frustration. Hundreds of people have died because of him. His friends have died because of him. Surely, surely there was a point to this. Surely there was meaning. Surely whatever did this to him, made him into this, had a greater plan.

But there is no plan. There is no great revelation. He tries to hurt the earth, to provoke some kind of answer, but the screaming continues. And when P dies, the person who snapped him out of it the last time, John lets go and the whole world dies.

John is kneeling on the grass vomiting up dirt and tearing out his own ribs, saying "there was still too much of me that was just a human being...", trying to swallow the soul of the earth. And by the end, the one shred he has to hold onto is a memory of playing with a doll as a child. That, and his anger...

The earth tried to reach out in the only way it could, amidst its incoherent suffering. And John tried to use the abilities it gave him, but he was only human. Fallible and proud and angry.

She said, "I still love you." And the horror; the horror of love, the horror of this story, is that to begin with they did this to each other.

To be clear: I don't mean to diminish the awfulness or the very specific forms that John's violence against Alecto takes, and continues to take across the story. I don't mean to excuse his own self-mythologisation. I certainly don't think he's blameless for the decisions he made and the agenda he pursued. But if there's one thing that happens over and over again in TLT, it's that the horror of love is not a one-way street.

And I wonder, in light of what we now know about the permeability of the soul, quite where John ends and Alecto begins. And when that blurring began...

[chiikasevennn]

(this has topics of murder and yandere.....and stuff PLS DELETE IF URE NOT COMFY IM SORRY HUHUHU)

haia omg i have no idea if you're still open or no but i really like whenever writers dive into the more darker aspects of a character or how especially when a process of basically ascending to something what you would consider non human (monarch in this case) and how this affects a character like does this make them less humane or posssiblllyy twist their morals??

like as we can see with jinwoo his morals is err well yeah there but we can see times where he is willing to commit crimes if the time calls it (often the system forcing him to it) but like what happens when he finally swallows the system as a whole?? LIKE since now there is no third party to force him to do murder or what not will his way of thinking change too? like i imagine when he first murdered the guys in the cave very early on in the series you think that maybe he thought that it wasn't that bad..??

I can honestly see it more if it was another scenario and we add in the aspect of the reader or I'll call [name] whwhw.. I feel like Jinwoo is the type to actually lose his sense of humanity just for the sake of [name] or keeping them safe like the two probably was close but had to separate in their own ways but when they meet again [name] can barely recognzie Jinwoo and i dont mean physically or what not it's more like he lost his warmth and seems more... unsettling.. like do you know the feeling of watching those analogue horror or watching anything eerie and you get that feeling that somethings off in a scene that seems normal but you know something is OFF. yeah i feel like that's what [name] would feel ✊.

I just wanna hear your opinion on a more screwed up Jinwoo because as muchhh as i love the fluffy cutie jinwoo i also love delving into the topics of jinwoo just going batshit insane 🤯🙏

-🌟🎀

ABSOLUTELY!

Jinwoo x Reader

Your wish is my command, pookie bear.

Warning(s): YANDERE, nothing much, maybe too short? Not a fic or oneshot lol js my crazy thoughts

Also guys ples comment and say something ...

^⁠_⁠^

Jinwoo himself was already prepared to walk through fire just for his family, and that was just platonic love. Imagine how insane he'd be for a significant other that he loves way too deeply.

Hello???? Like I feel his dedication and love for darling would be higher than the heavens especially if they're already there for him during his lowest part in life.

My hunch is he's a chill yandere; he adores you and wouldn't pull any outrageously crazy stunts directly at you. Instead, he might convey lessons through various means, like allowing uncomfortable scenarios to set up, then emerging from the shadows he casted beneath your silhouette to rescue you.

Like a "savior" yandere. Your knight and sole protector.

He'd be more possessive ig if his crazy fans found out about you, particularly if they desire him to be romantically involved with Hae-In in the name of being a power couple. Jinwoo literally and genuinely didn't give a damn when they trash-talked him.

But hey, fans can be krezi

ALSO HELLO LIKE WHAT IF THOSE CRAZY ASSHOLES START HARASSING YOU ON WORK OR IN SOCIAL MEDIA (like leaving you death threats or rudely demanding you to break up w him bc apparently according to them, you don't deserve him)? Lol he'd be willing to do something about them, so good luck reasoning against him if you don't want bloodshed!!!

He'd convince you to not work anymore if that was in store for you.

"... Woo, you know I can't just quit work like that and have you become the breadwinner for the two of us. You're getting financially better and I'm proud, but I can't jus—"

"Shh," He'd tenderly cup your cheeks with his eyes overflowing with love and concern, every bit of his attention dedicated to you. "Is it so bad for me to want no dangers coming to you?"

"You're also being unintentionally put into unavoidable situations whenever you're in public. Love, you remember what happened last time, right?" He'd add. With a kiss on your forehead, he said, "I'll provide for you, you don't have to work. I can't stand how they're looking at you."

Jinwoo would mumble the final words gently before pulling back. He'd whisper them solely for your ears, aware that you wouldn't interpret that knowledge negatively anymore—it would now simply reflect his worry for your welfare and highlight his character as the tender and loving partner he was.⁠ ♡

[bteezxyewriter12]

Competition

Pairing- Yoongi x Named Reader

Word count- 6.9k

Includes- Som much sex, oral, pussy eating, blow job, deepthroating, throat fucking, cum eating, semi public sex (getting caught), dacryphilia, dirty talk, wall sex, floor sex, cock riding, sex from behind, missionary, rough sex, slow sex, tummy bulge, choking, squirting, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @realisticnotes @effielumiere @svnbangtansworld @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @marvelfamily3000

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝BTS Masterlist 📝Yoongi Masterlist

Yoongi POV

Walking into the dressing room, I find my best friend across it, whispering with Hobi

I roll my eyes as I walk towards her

I've been looking for her for ten minutes

She wasn't answering her phone and now I see why

"You really giving me a hard time?", Hobi says to her as I get closer

They're both so engrossed in their conversation they don't see me coming

"It was a one time thing Hobi", she answers

My curiosity is piqued

What was a one time thing?

He snorts, "Right. That's why I slept over and we kept fucking right?"

Shock enters my system at his words

They kept what?

Did he say fucking?

What the fuck, they slept together?

When?

"That's why you were crying, begging for my tongue over and over, coming in my mouth again and again", he says, "Because it was a one time thing"

She was begging for him?

No way

An insane amount of jealous explodes in my veins

"Look Hobi, yeah you're good ok. And I'll admit it, no one has gone down on me as good as you ok"

Bullshit

He is not better at oral than I am

I'm the king of oral

I've never gotten any complaints, in fact all I've gotten is praise and begged to keep going

There's no fucking way he's better

No way

"And you did fuck me really good. But that's all it was. Sex. And I'm not sure it would be a good idea for us to keep fucking"

"Why not? I'm attracted to you and you're obviously attracted to me. I know what it would be. Just sex. A friend's with benefits thing. I'm game for it"

Friends with benefits?

When the fuck did he think of that situation?

"Friends with benefits?", she repeats

No, not happening

He can't have her

He can't

Lately my feelings towards her have changed

To where I see her more than a friend

But as a fuck buddy or a girlfriend I haven't figured out yet

But I want to be around her all the time, spend time with her

And if she does this friends with benefits thing with Hobi then I'll never know

But there's one thing I know for sure

I can eat her out and fuck her better than he ever could

"Let me know", he says to her then leaves, going towards a makeup artist

She shakes her head, then turns to me, jumping when she sees me a few feet behind her

"Oh hey Yoongi", she says nervously

And I make up my mind

"I have to talk to you", I say

"Oh, yeah ok", she agrees

"Come on"

She follows me out of the dressing room and I go into the first empty room I find

She enters and I take a breath as I close the door

"You slept with Hobi?", I ask, turning around

Her eyes widen, "You heard"

"I mean you guys were talking about it in the middle of the dressing room and you weren't exactly whispering"

"I uh...yeah. I did"

"When?"

"Uh last week"

Just last week?

Where the fuck was I?

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She shrugs, looking down, "I don't know. I guess I was worried you'd be mad"

The thing is I'm not mad

Or maybe I am but at the moment the biggest thing I feel is jealousy

"I heard him...brag about his skills"

Her face turns red, "Yeah, I didn't know he was a bragger like that"

And it's now I decided to take the plunge

"I can do it better than him"

Her eyes snap to mine, complete shock in them

"Uh...what?"

"I can do what he did better", I say, holding eye contact, "I can eat you out better. I can fuck you better. I can make you feel better"

Her mouth drops, "What the hell Yoongi? It's not a competition"

But it is

Hobi unknowingly started a competition because of my feelings for her

If I didn't have feelings for her, I wouldn't care if she slept with him

But I care

"I can show you I'm better", I tell her

"I..uh...I....uh..", she trails off, "I uh...I don't know if we should do this"

She's hesitating but she wants to

If she didn't she would of said no immediately

"Do you trust me?"

She looks at me sharply, "Of course Yoongi. That's not even a question"

"So trust me now"

She hesitates for a split second, then nods, "I do. Ok"

Her words sink in and I stride right to her, crashing my lips against hers in a searing kiss that takes my breath away and lights a fire inside me

Her arms move around my neck and it feels so right

I move my arms around her, pulling her as close to me as she can get, my tongue against hers, my body screaming for hers

As I kiss her, I undo her jeans, slipping my hands under the waistband of them and her panties

Breaking the kiss, I kneel down on my knees, pulling everything off her, my eyes on her small pussy

So pretty, fuck

"Yoongi, oh fuck", she moans when I lick her small clit, feeling it spasm

Fuck, I like that

Pushing her legs open, I push my tongue on her, licking up her cunt slowly, feeling her on my entire tongue, taking in how she tastes

And fuck she's good, so sweet, like fucking candy

How she tastes this good I don't know but I'm glad she does

"Yoongi, oh my fucking god", she moans as my tongue continues to pleasure her

I move the tip of my tongue up in-between her slit, her swollen lips parting for my tongue, her juice all over my mouth, dripping down to my neck

"Mmm", I moan, moving one of her legs over my shoulder, pushing my face deeper into her cunt, my tongue flying up and down

My god, I can't get enough of eating her cunt

It's just everything, the feel of her, the taste, the scent, she's intoxicating

Circling her hole, I tease her, feeling her legs shake under my hands, hearing her cute whines

Dragging it out a few more times, I finally plunge my tongue in her cunt, the immediate clenching sending pleasure down to my hard cock

Licking out of her hole, I run my tongue all the way up, flicking her clit when I get there

"Oh my god, Yoongi!"

Chuckling, I run my tongue down and wiggle back into her pulsing hole, moaning into her

Her hand snakes down to my hair, grabbing a fist full as she moves her hips, fucking her pussy on my tongue

I'm so here for it, gripping her ass hard and I move my tongue all over her- in her hole, between her swollen lips, over her clit, everywhere my tongue touches I lick her

Rolling my tongue over her clit again, she moans, "There Yoongi"

I press my tongue against her pulsing clit, massaging it as her shouts of pleasure fill the room

I'm enjoying this so much, it's actually insane

I don't think I've ever liked going down on someone as much as I do right now

Sucking her clit into my mouth, I tug and play, her pussy gushing all over me, drowning me and I love it

I slurp on her clit like my life depends on it, reveling in the constant throbs against my tongue

"Yoongi", she moans, my name sounding so pretty in her voice

Her hand tightens in my hair, her hips desperately snapping into my face, her legs trembling

I don't stop and the next suck has her screaming my name, coming hard

Dropping my tongue down, I shove it up her cunt, letting her cum around it while I use my fingers to rub her clit

"Yoongi, oh my god. Yoongi!", she whines, her pussy clenching my tongue over and over

I can't wait to feel her clench my cock like this

I swallow all her sweet cream, sucking around her hole to make sure I get it all

My mind is blown at how good her cum tastes

I mean it's cum

Shouldn't taste as good as this

Only when she finishes do I pull my tongue out and lick her cunt clean

Pressing my lips to her skin, I kiss up her body, sliding my hand on her cunt, playing with her clit

She shudders against me as I reach her neck, pressing peck after peck to her skin

"You taste so good", I whisper in her ear, burying my fingers in her and starting to move in her tight cunt, "So fucking sweet, like candy"

She moans and fuck, I can't get over how pretty it sounds

"Gonna wanna eat your pussy everyday", I tell her, loving how her body shivers against me, her hand grabbing my arm to hold on, "Gonna let me?"

Moving my thumb to her clit, I play with it while I fuck her with my fingers

"Yes", she whimpers

"Good girl"

Pressing on what I think is her spot, she cries out in pleasure, her hand squeezing my arm harder

Found it

"After you cum on my fingers, I wanna stuff you with my cock"

She makes a soft squeaking sound that's so cute

"I want this tight cunt around my cock. Want these swollen lips wrapped tightly around me. Wanna make your pussy cream around my cock"

"Fff..fuck", she moans

I keep moving my fingers, making sure I press on her spot every thrust in

"Wanna make my best friend cum for my cock", I say lowly

"Oh god"

I smirk as my thumb presses harder into her clit, her pussy throbbing tighter

"Gonna let me fuck you?", I ask

"Yes!", she yells, "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"Good girl"

Driving my fingers in she moans my name, coming

She floods my hand with cream and I keep fingering her through it

Then I pull my fingers out of her and look in her eyes as I shove my fingers in my mouth, sucking her cream off them

She gapes and I just smirk as I lick her cream from my palm

"Told you I loved the way you taste"

She just nods, her cheeks so red

"Gonna fuck you now"

She nods wordlessly again

Undoing my belt, I kick off my shoes and get my pants and boxers off, so ridiculously excited to be inside my best friend

She pulls my shirt off me, throwing it on the floor as my hands lift her up, her legs wrapping around me

She reaches down between us, aligning my cock to her hole, as she begs, "Please Yoongi. Fuck me. Want you to fuck me"

I can definitely do that

Moving closer, I push into her tiny hole, the pleasure of her stretching around me so fucking intense

"My god, you're fucking tight", I groan, slowly moving inch by inch inside her, her pussy sucking me in slowly and latching on tightly

"Mmm so big Yoongi", she cries, her head leaning against the wall, "Fuck your cock is so fucking big"

I smirk because yeah it is

Never had a complaint about my cock before

Shivers run down my back as I get all inside her, her soaked cunt throbbing so fast around my length

"Fuck Yoongi", she murmurs, her legs tightening around me, "God, your cock fills me so good"

"Yeah well your tiny cunt took me so well baby", I smirk, "Pulling me in like you wanted me inside you"

"I did", she moans, "I do"

"Good jagi. Want you too", I answer, pulling her shirt up and off, her bra following

I eye her big tits, moving one of my hands around one boob, squeezing softly

Pulling my cock out, I slam back inside, her moans fueling me to go faster

I get a fast hard pace going, splitting her cunt wide open, wrecking her

Her pussy takes me perfectly, clenching down as I move back in, her hands plunging in my hair, pulling as she cries out in pleasure

It feels so fucking good and I live for the way her cunt is pulsing and drenching my cock

Thrusting in, I slam into her spot, her pussy gushing juice out, her body arching off the wall

"Yes, there! Oh fuck! There", she cries as I indeed make sure my cock hits her there every single stroke

"Feels good?", I ask

"Yes", she nods, her body shaking in my arms as I fuck her tiny spot relentlessly

"Oh god, oh god", she chants, her eyes wet, a few tears escaping down her face

And that does nothing but turn me on even more

I move my hands up her back, pulling her right against me, her soft sweaty skin against mine, holding her tightly as I increase my thrusts, fucking her hard

And she just cries for more, asking me to go harder

"Yeah baby, cry for my cock", I urge her, watching the tears fall down her face, "Am I fucking you that good?"

"Yes!", she sobs, clinging onto me tightly

"Mmm yes jagi. Let me see those tears. I love it. Crying on your best friend cock, begging to fuck your sweet pussy harder"

"Yes, yes, yes", she whimpers

Fuck, I never had a girl want me this much

Never had a girl cry for me like she's doing

Never had a girl as wet as she is

"Fuck, listen to how wet you are for me. Listen to how good your sweet pussy takes your best friend's cock"

"Mmmhmmmm", she moans, her fingers twisting in my hair, the nails of her other hand digging into my shoulder, pleasure radiating off her body

"Sounds so pretty", I murmur, listening to the arousing sounds

I can listen to that all fucking day

"Yyy..Yoongi", she stammers, her body shaking with each stroke, her pussy impossibly tight around me

"Yeah jagi?", I ask, the pleasure so fucking intense, so goddamn good

"I...I....", she babbles, her eyes closing, her sobs more frequent

I know she's close

I can feel her

"Gonna cream my cock baby?", I tease, listening to her whimpers, "Decorate my cock with your cum?

She bites her lip, nodding

"Good girl", I murmur in her ear, "Cum around my cock baby. I want to feel this little pussy lose it"

"Yoongi!", she shouts, coming at the next thrust in

Her pussy spasms uncontrollably as she clings onto me, pleasure like I never felt before tidal waving into my body

I gasp, the bliss so much I have to try hard to keep standing as she screams my name over and over, her body shaking hard against mine

I've never felt like this from a girl's orgasm

And I'm immediately addicted

Once she finishes, I kneel down on the floor, laying her on the carpet

I can't stand anymore, not after that pleasure

And I need to feel it again but I don't think I can take another of her orgasms without falling

Pushing her legs to her chest, I resume pounding into her little pussy

"Yoongi", she cries, her hands gripping my forearms so tightly

"I need you to cum again", I tell her, watching her swollen pussy lips petal open for me each time my dick slides inside her

"Yeah", she whimpers, taking the pounding I'm giving her, her pretty body soaked in sweat

Leaning down, I lay my tongue on her stomach and lick up to her neck, her sweat tasting so fucking good

I think anything on her will taste good

"So good baby", I smirk, sitting back up and destroying her little pussy

She whimpers, her eyes on mine

"Oh my fucking god!", I hear

Snapping my head up to the door, I glare at Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung, standing in the doorway, each one with shock on their face

When the fuck did the door open?

"Get out", I growl, stopping but still buried inside her, her begging for more

"I..uh..the shoot", Jungkook starts, his eyes wide as plates

"Yoongi! Don't stop!", she cries under me

"Oh my god", Tae mutters

"Get out!", I shout, making them jump

"Sorry!", Jimin yells, grabbing the door handle and slamming it closed

"Yoongi", she moans and I forget what happened, continuing thrusting into her

Her pussy is so messy, cream all over my cock, a thick ring of it around my base, driving me fucking crazy

"Fuck, look at you creaming my cock like this", I tell her, mesmerized, "Pretty little cunt swallowing my big cock so eagerly"

She nods, moaning, "Feels so good Yoongi. Fuck, more"

"I'll give you more", I growl, driving my cock deep in her hole, "I'll wreck your pussy until I'm the only one you want inside you. Until my cock is the only one you crave"

She nods, her tears so fucking pretty

"Oh yeah, that's what you want?"

"Yes", she whines, "And...and ..and"

"And what?", I demand, "Tell me what you want"

"I wanna swallow your cum", she whimpers

God, that's the dirtiest thing she's ever said to me and it's such a turn on

"Yeah baby?", I smirk, fucking into her harder, my cock throbbing, "Wanna suck my dick?"

She nods, gasping, "Please"

"Ok jagi", I agree, "Cum for me first then you can suck me off"

"Ok. Ok", she whines, more tears streaming down her gorgeous face

Burying inside her again, I hit her spot and watch her tiny hole spasm around my cock as she climaxes

"Yes baby, yes", I groan, ecstacy slamming into me as she screams my name, her pussy working my cock good

I keep moving, fucking her through it absolutely loving pushing through her tight cunt

When she finishes, I pull out, watching my cock and her hole stay connected through a string of her creamy cum

Fuck that is something I've never seen before and can get used to seeing

Moving next to her head, I grab her hair, moving my cock to her mouth

"Open"

She does, letting me push my cock in, her mouth sucking immediately, pleasure running up my spine

"Yes baby, fuck"

She sucks desperately, spit all over the place, her hand moving around my cock not in her mouth, jerking me off at the same time

"Fuck you're mouth is so good", I praise her, watching her push down on my cock more, her sucking driving me crazy, "You gonna take all of me?"

She nods, her gorgeous watery brown eyes looking up at me as she bottoms me out, choking around my length

I pull back a little so I don't hurt her but she shakes her head, going down again

Her throat spasms around my shaft as she swallows repeatedly, sending sparks of pleasure up my spine

"Ccc..can I fuck your throat?", I choke out, so close

She nods, keeping her mouth open for me

Holding her in place by her hair, I pull out then thrust back in, moaning from how utterly good it feels

I move over and over, her throat taking me just as good as her pussy does

I feel small sucking sensations every time I bottom out, awed that she's still blowing me

I watch her as I throat fuck her, listening to her moan around my dick

"I'm gonna cum", I groan, right there, "Gonna swallow all my cum for me?"

"Mmm hmm", she nods want in her brown eyes

That drives me over the edge and I bury my length and spurt my cum down her throat, the ecstasy feeling amazing

True to her word, she swallows eagerly, again and again, milking my cock desperately

"Joanne, fuck, yes good girl", I groan

When I finish, she stops, letting me pull out of her mouth

She closes her eyes, breathing hard

I sit next to her, running my fingers in her hair, breathing hard myself

This was seriously the best sex I ever hand

And my best friend gave it to me

Mind blown

After a minute, her eyes open and she struggles to sit up

I help her, her eyes slowly moving up to mine

I smile at her bewildered look, then lean down and kiss her

I don't know why I'm doing it, it just feels right

Breaking away, she says, "I think you're really late for the photo shoot"

I chuckle, "Yeah. Guess I should get going"

She nods

I stand up then help her up and we start the task of getting our clothes back on

Right before we're about to leave the room, I stop her

For some reason I don't want to be apart from her

I don't think about it as I ask, "Wanna come over after the photo shoot?"

She raises her eyebrow but smirks, "Yeah"

Then she walks out of the room

Ok then

I smile as I follow her

--------------------------------

"Off now", she demands between kisses, her hands pulling at my boxers

As soon as I parked my car and we got into the apartment we're all over each other

It wasn't even a second inside before our lips were glued to each other's

We somehow managed to get into the living room, clothes strewn along the path we took

She drops my boxers and I step out of them, then start pulling her panties down

Kicking them off, she bangs her leg into the coffee table, groaning in my mouth

"Are you ok?", I ask, as she sinks to the floor, her hand against her calf

Kneeling down too, I move her hand, seeing a bruise already forming

"Jo-"

"Who cares?", she says, on her knees and pulling me back to her lips

Ok well if she doesn't care then I guess she's ok

I kiss her eagerly, just wanting to be back inside her

"Lay down", she says, breaking away from me

"Uh-", I start

"Lay down", she says, pushing me back, "I want to ride your dick"

Oh well ok then

I lay down, moving my legs under the coffee table

She immediately climbs in my lap and I'm hit with her gorgeous body that I neglected to look at before

I was too busy feeling and looking at her cunt

But goddamn her body is fucking gorgeous

Perfect

With huge boobs

She spreads her legs wide, her feet flat on the floor, her hand holding my dick up

Her hole is already leaking, some of it dripping to my tip, turning me on so much more

She aligns me to her hole, sinking down on my head

"Fuck", I moan, watching her sit more and more on my cock, the familiar tugging of her pussy so good

As soon as she bottoms me out, she's already moving, sliding up and down my dick, throwing my entire body into bliss

"Yes fuck", she whines, bouncing on my cock so hard, her boobs jiggling so much

Her arms move behind her, her elbows on the coffee table as she leans against it, riding my dick like no one ever has before

Her tight cunt is creaming my cock so much already, it's all over my lap, not just my dick

Her legs are spread so wide, I have an amazing view of her hole splitting open as she takes me back in, her swollen lips wrapped beautifully around my length

Her head falls back, her bounces so fast, hard as she moans so erotically

"Yes, yes, yes. Fuck yes Yoongi. Oh my god Yoongi"

Hearing her moaning my name is such a fucking turn on

I want to hear it over and over, her voice so beautiful calling me

Her chest is heaving, beads of sweat trailing down her body towards her tiny pussy

She picks up her head, looking at me, lust in her eyes, her sweaty hair clinging to her body

Fucking ethereal

The sound of our skin slapping each other mixes with the loud squelching sound her drenched cunt makes when she takes me back in, making pornographic music sounding in the room

Add her moans to that and it's something I can listen to forever

"Yoongi!", she yells, "I'm gonna cum! Oh fuck, I'm gonna cum"

Somehow her bounces become more rapid, more wild, her cunt clenching my cock in a vice grip

"Can I cum on your cock?", she cries, "Please, wanna cum on your cock"

"Yes jagi. Fuck, cum for me", I shout, wanting to feel that ecstacy again

"Yoongi! Yoongi! Yoongi!", she screams

Her body stiffens and shakes as she orgasms, squirt pouring from her cunt like a waterfall, completely soaking me

Her screams are beautiful and watching her cum is amazing as pure pleasure slams into my body

"Oh fuck", I moan, her cunt pulsing hard around my cock

"Again", she cries, as she finishes

Slipping down my dick, bottoming me out, she grinds against me, my head rubbing against her spot, "Again, Yoongi again"

"Yeah baby. Go ahead", I urge her

Her hips move quickly, hypnotically in a circular motion and I can't take my eyes away from her

As she grinds on me, her cunt spams hard around my cock, sending spikes of pleasure through my body

"Yes, yes fuck", she murmurs, her eyes closed, leaning back as she moves, "Fuck such a good cock. So fucking fat, so big. So fucking hard"

My mind explodes hearing her talk about my dick

"You like my cock jagi?", I ask, leaning up on my arms so I can sit up slightly and watch her better

"Love your cock Yoongi. Fuck, opens my pussy so well", she moans, her circles getting faster, "Love having your cock inside my pussy"

"I love being there", I assure her

Her fluttering around my length is getting faster, she's close

Leaning forward, I press my fingers to her clit, feeling it throb as I rub

"Yes, oh god", she cries, soaking me more

"Cream my cock baby", I murmur, "Make a pretty fucking mess"

"Yoongi!", she yells, tightening so much, her head leaning back, exploding all over me, bliss filling me

Her movements stall as she cums but I keep moving my fingers, rubbing her clit to keep her coming

Her cream leaks around us, the sight fucking mesmerizing

"Oh god Yoongi. Yes Yoongi"

Her body relaxes when she finishes, lifting her head and looking at me in amazement

"Good?", I ask

"Amazing", she breathes

"Good"

Pulling her to me, I crash my lips to hers, kissing her wildly

She throws her arms around my neck, her fingers moving in my hair, pulling as she kisses me back

"Need to fuck you", I murmur between kisses

"Yeah Yoongi. Fuck want your cock so bad"

Oh fuck yeah

Pulling her off me, I maneuver her around, getting her to face the table on her knees

Shoving her down on it, I get behind her, shoving my cock inside her waiting cunt

"Yes fuck", she cries as I bottom out, her hands squeezing the edge of the table hard

Pulling my cock almost all the way out, I shove back inside, hitting her spot

"More Yoongi!"

I move quickly, thrusting into her warm pussy over and over, the feel of dragging in and out of her cunt so intense

"Fuck this pussy is perfect", I murmur in her ear, "Swallows my cock so easily. Throbs so greedily for me"

"Yes Yoongi", she whimpers, taking the pounding I'm giving her

Moving my arm around her, I press against her lower stomach, feeling it bulge everytime I fuck into her, driving me crazy

"This pussy takes my cock so deeply", I murmur, "Wants me all inside"

She nods, breathing hard

"You were made for me", I tell her, lost in the pleasure, lost in her

"Yeah Yoongi. I was", she whimpers

Pulling her back against me, I take her hand, moving it to her stomach, making her feel my cock move inside her

"Feel me fuck you jagi", I murmur, keeping my hand on top of hers, "You feel how deep I am inside you?"

"Yes", she shivers, "Fuck, harder Yoongi"

"Harder baby?", I tease

"Harder. I can take it", she groans, leaning her head against my shoulder

"I can fuck you harder baby but you have to cum for me"

"Yes, I will. I promise"

Touching her legs, I spread them wider, speeding up my movements and force, her dripping cunt leaking everywhere

She moans in my ear as I look down, her pretty neck on display and I get a sudden urge

Sliding my hand up her body, I wrap it around her neck, her pussy squeezing the life from me just as that moment

"Mmm is this what you want?", I tease, "You're pussy got so tight as soon as I grabbed your neck"

She moans wordlessly, her eyes closing

"Want to be choked?"

"Yes", she whispers, making my cock throb in excitement

I've done this before with other girls and I know I'm not going to hurt her

I know it's going to feel good for her and she's gonna cum so intensely

"You've been choked before?", I ask

"Yes"

I'm surprised at that, "By who?"

"Hhhh...Hobi"

Jealousy floods my body at his name

"Hobi?"

She nods

"Did he feel as good as me?", I growl

"No...no", she moans, tears running, pleasure all over her face, "Nnn..nobody fff...feels as good as you"

"Did his cock feel as good as mine?"

"No! Fuck no!", she shouts

"Did he fuck you as good as I am?", I demand, slamming into her with each word

"Nnn....oh god Yoongi!", she cries, pleasure hitting me hard as she cums suddenly

Her hands grip my arm, her nails digging into my skin as she rides out her orgasm on my cock

When she finishes, I continue fucking her spot, growling in her ear, "Who fucks you the best? Don't fucking lie to me"

"You do! Oh god you do"

"Are you lying?"

"Nnn..no! Yoongi no!", she sobs, "You're the best. Fuck you're the best!"

"Damn right"

"Please", she cries, "Wanna cum"

"Again? You already came so much. Such a greedy cunt"

She nods, "Wanna cum on your cock. Want ..want .want...."

"What jagi? What do you want? Tell me"

"Want you to cum deep inside me", she wails, shocking me, "Please Yoongi. Wanna feel your cum in my pussy. Please"

"You'll get it baby", I promise her, "First you have to cum around my cock one more time"

She nods, hiccuping, "Ooo...ok. Choke me please"

I comply, squeezing her neck as I pound into her sweet pussy

Letting go, I let her breath then choke her again

Her cunt tightens, pulsing so hard, making me groan in pleasure, "Yes fuck. Good pussy"

Loosing my hand, she breathes, then I cut her air off again, pushing through her tightness, feeling each throb acutely against my cock

Her body shakes against me, her nails digging into my arm as she cums, feeling her pussy crying cream

When I let go of her neck, my name breaks the silence as she screams

Her orgasm throws me head first into my own, ecstasy washing over me as I shove my cock deep into her and cum inside her

"Joanne! Fuck jagi!", I yell, feeling her cunt milk my cock as unbelievable pleasure overtakes me, stars bursting in my vision

I've never fucking cum this hard before, my body is fucking shaking

We ride the pleasure together, holding her against me

When we finish, she slumps against me, her head leaning back on my shoulder, her forehead against my neck

I breathe in heavily, keeping her against me so she doesn't fall over

Pulling out, I maneuver so my arm is around her back and my other is under her legs so I can pick her up easily

Standing, I carry her to the bathroom

"Jagi, can you sit up for me?", I ask her as I put her on the sink counter

"Hmmm?", she murmurs, her eyes opening

"Sit up for me baby?"

"Oh, ok", she answers sleepily, sitting up

I still hold on to her because she's swaying but I'm able to reach a hand towel and run it under water

"Open you legs for me baby", I ask her

When she does, I move the towel between them, cleaning her up

I wet my hand and run it through her hair to wipe away some sweat

Taking another towel, I wipe her face, her neck and her chest

When I finish cleaning her up, I clean myself up while still holding on to her

I smile when I look at her, her eyes closed as she sways softly

Pulling her back in my arms, I pick her up again and carry her to my room

Putting her in my bed, I move the blanket over her

"Where... Yoongi...where are we?", she asks, her eyes opening tiredly

"In my room jagi. You're gonna stay with me tonight ok?", I tell her

She nods so sleepily, "Are...are you gonna hold me?"

I smile

Most definitely

But I don't want to seem too eager

"Do you want me too?"

She nods, yawning, "So much. Always want to be in your arms"

I'm shocked hearing her and I wonder if she knows what she's saying

Or if she's just babbling because she's exhausted

I don't know for sure but it sounds as if she's thought about me as more than a friend too

I lift her face to mine, her sleepy eyes gazing into mine

Without thinking, I lean down, pressing my lips to hers

Her hands slide slowly up my chest as she kisses me in the softest, sweetest kiss I've ever had

I fall into her kiss, into the feel of her soft lips against mine

It's everything I didn't know I needed, didn't know I wanted

And I want it with just her

When the kiss ends, she snuggles against me, her head slotted under my chin, her face against my chest

I just smile as I wrap one arm around her, keeping her against me

I run my fingers in her hair with my other hand, feeling the soft strands fall through my fingers

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, I say, "Night Jo"

"Night Yoongi", she murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to my chest

I smile widely as I continue to play with her hair

And it's in this moment, holding her in my arms, cuddling with her that I realize I'm utterly in love with her

It wasn't during sex or eating her out or even hearing about her and Hobi that made me realize it

It's now, in the feeling of how she belongs in my arms, in the feeling of wanting this every night, wanting her next to me every night, in the feeling of not knowing a better way of spending my night than with her that I know I'm in love

And I know, I'll do anything to be with her

Absolutely anything

"I love you", I whisper, fully expecting her to be asleep

"I love you too Yoongi", she murmurs, not opening her eyes

Instead she cuddles into me more and within minutes she's asleep, soft snores coming from her

She has no idea how she just rocked my world

No idea

And I can't wake her up to ask her about it

She's exhausted and she needs sleep

I just hope that I can fall asleep soon so I'm not tortured with thoughts of what will happen tomorrow

--------------------------------

Fingers slowly run in my hair, feeling good as I wake up

I slowly open my eyes, her gorgeous face filling my vision

She's looking at me so lovingly and when she sees I'm awake, she smiles her gorgeous smile

It takes my breath away

She moves closer, kissing me softly

I kiss her back, moving my arms around her, holding her right against me

Her hands move into my hair, her leg going around my waist to get as close to me as possible, the kiss getting heated

Her wet pussy is rubbing against my cock, making me hard

Sliding my hand down her body, I feel her skin tremble against my fingertips

Getting to her ass, I squeeze, pushing her against my dick, my head slipping into her hole

Her hips move down, taking me more inside her and I take that as a cue to move

Pushing my hips forward, I sink into her tight pussy, opening her up on my cock

I slide all the way in, my head against her spot, her body shivering against mine

I pull out then slip back inside her so slowly, feeling every inch of her spreading for me

She moans in my mouth and I swallow it willingly

As I thrust softly into her, I move her on her back, going on top of her

Her hands move to my back, pulling me down, her soft skin flush against mine

Her legs open around my body, letting me thrust into her easier

"Yoongi", she moans between kisses, the sound of my name so pretty in her voice

God, I'm going to want to hear that all the time

I move just a bit faster, still going slow, feeling absolutely everything so acutely

Every clench her pussy does on my length, every gush of juice, every suck pulling me inside her, every inch of her spreading around me

I feel every tremble of her skin, every soft kiss, hear every moan, feel her fingers digging into my back, clinging to me

Her hips move, rolling into mine, meeting my strokes and taking me in deeper

My head hits her spot every thrust, my pelvis rubbing her clit with each move, her pussy getting so tight each time I go in

"Mmm baby", I murmur, both of us moving together, "Feels so good"

She nods, "So good"

I'm in so much pleasure it's insane

I had no idea that slow sex could be so blissful

But of course it's with her

I wouldn't want to feel this way with anyone else

Only her

"Yoongi", she murmurs, so close, her cunt gripping my cock in a vice grip

I am too, the pleasure incredible

Her arms move around my neck, her fingers in my hair, her forehead against mine, both of us breathing hard against each other's lips

I drive my cock into her as she meets me, going in fully

Her body arches as her pussy throbs uncontrollably around my cock, coming all over me as she whimpers my name

"Yoongi! Yoongi!"

Ecstacy tidal waves over me, stars blasting in my vision as I spill my cum inside her

"Joanne! Jagi, fuck"

"Yoongi"

God, it feels so fucking amazing

When we finish, I look down at her, her eyes are already on me

Her fingers bunch the back of my hair, her head lifting, her lips against mine again

I fall into her kiss, wanting her in my arms forever

"Yoongi", she murmurs between kisses, "I love you"

Happiness washes over me as her words sink in

And I realize that she was telling me the truth last night

She really loves me

"I love you Jo", I answer between kisses too, "I love you so much"

She breaks the kiss, looking at me so lovingly

"Do you mean it?", she whispers, "Because I don't think I could take it if it's just something you're saying in the moment. I have been waiting for you for a long time. If you don't mean it then tell me right now"

I had no idea that she's been waiting for me

She's had other boyfriends, I didn't think she saw me that way

She never showed me any indication of her having any feelings for me

I didn't know I had feelings for her until recently

But I love her and I'm not letting her think I don't love her

"I mean it Jo", I tell her, "I started having feelings for you recently. As more than a friend. But it wasn't until last night that I realized I'm completely in love with you"

She hesitates, "Was it because we had sex and then you realized it?"

I shake my head, "No baby. It was when I was holding you last night. When I realized how perfect you fit in my arms, how good it felt to hold you. When I realized that I want you with me every night. That I want nothing more than to spend all my free time, all my nights with you. That's when I realized I'm in love with you"

She smiles softly, "I'm in love with you too Yoongi. For a stupidly long time"

I run my fingers in her hair, "I'm sorry I took so long to see you jagi. But I swear, I will make everything up to you. I promise I'll show you how much I love you everyday"

She smiles nodding, "I promise I'll show you how much I love you too naekkeo"

I smile widely, so utterly happy I have her love

Pressing my lips to hers, we settle back into the bed, arms around each other and just kiss

We're not getting out of bed anytime soon

And I wouldn't have it any other way

[koopageneral]

INANIMATE INSANITY SEASON 2 EPISODE 15 SPOILERS. PLEAASE GO WATCH IT

Omgaaa I need to EXPLODE cuz of Taco’s Tirade. Gonna go on a rant analysing it prty much line-by-line so STRAP IN!! (Shout out to everyone who worked on this masterpiece omfg)

It starts off with what might be considered ‘normal’ Taco. Her making fun of the contestants. There is a little bit of hinting at her sympathy towards the contestants, although it’s incredibly shrouded in her mastermind facade. Calling them ‘pathetic’ and comparing them to blindly obedient dogs with ‘how they run to fetch their sticks.’

We get a little bit more with ‘Sure, call me polemic, unsympathetic.’ It shows how shes aware that she’s a problem, although at this point in the song it’s unclear to the audience whether she’s saying it in a way of ‘yeah call me it cuz it’s true, I don’t care.’ Or if it’s ‘call me these things, yeah, but I’m more than that.’

‘Look at me and all you see is the debris of some defective outcast.’ Feels like it’s getting into the meat of the song, and the episode as a whole, of how Taco has realized how she’s pushed everyone away for the sake of the game. The fact she has her arms tucked away during it gives another interesting interpretation, of it actually talking about before her big reveal, and how she was treated differently because she was, in her words, ‘defective.’

‘A frenetic, antithetic (if poetic) iconoclast.’ Frenetic means wild and energetic, probably, again, referring to her season 1 persona. Antithetic means opposite of something, and iconoclast means someone who attacks cherished institutions. This gets into her want to tear this entire show to the ground for the suffering it’s caused everyone.

‘I wont live in the past. I almost won this game once, you know.’ I’m just gonna parrot what @lemonxlimee said cuz they put it pretty succinctly with two words. Taco. Girl.

Then we get to the lines that got me started on this tirade (Pun intended.) ‘History is rearranged just to credit those who win the glory. So reality has changed in the edit when they spin the story.’ AUGH. Her fucking staring down at the hotel made of the money she spent SO HARD and lost SO MUCH to try and get. I. I want to scream about this. I don’t know how to put my thoughts on this line into fucking words.

‘And we choose to feel this pain.’ Going off the last line, Taco, out of almost anyone in the cast, knows how much you have to go through just to get a chance to win, which goes right into the next line.

‘We lose more than we gain.’ She lost Pickle. You might say that she didn’t actually care, but I’m not sure if I believe that. I feel like she might not have at first, and maybe even never when they actually were playing together. But you can’t convince me she doesn’t hate herself for using him on a plan that resulted in nothing. She also lost Mic, and it’s incredibly clear how much that affected her. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and showed her the flaws in this system.

‘I will break this cycle of mistakes unlike all of these snakes whom I call to condemn.’ She is fucking DETERMINED to make everyone see what they’ve sacrificed. She speaks with a level of contempt towards them, yes, but I feel like it’s more her projecting her feelings about the contest onto the contestants.

Then we’ve got MePad being best therapy boy. ‘You are incapable of starting over.’ She wants to be better. But she doesn’t feel worthy.

And then MePad’s slightly naive optimism with ‘I do not know who you lost, but is it not possible to get them back?’ He’s programmed to see the best in everyone. He wants things to work out. He doesn’t see how hard it might be to just make things better after a relationship exclusively built on lies.

This naivete is immediately contrasted by Taco’s all-encompassing pessimism. ‘Clear the slate, start again, do you hear how preposterous that sounds? How do you not comprehend that for someone with my monstrous background, the whole slate has fallen apart.’ To Taco, the bridges between her and Mic or Pickle are nothing but smoldering piles of rubble after all the pain she’s put them through.

This contrast is even more stark with the duet of ‘It’s too late’ and ‘It’s not too late.’ I don’t even know what to say about that, it’s pretty black and white.

For the duet, gonna go one character at a time for simplicity. Starting with Taco.

We see taco’s turmoiled feelings on whether she’s to blame, with ‘It’s not I, it’s they who deigned to play.’ Even after all of this internal conflict and deep personal realizations, there’s still a part of her that wants to cast the blame of the pain she’s caused onto the ones she’s hurt.

Another deflection she throws out is, honestly, probably more fair, if still not great. ‘This game, so cruel and inhumane, base and uncouth.’ This really gets into her main philosophy for the episode. She’s afraid to take responsibility, and pins the blame on the show for pitting everyone against one another. I want to make it clear, her point is incredibly valid. We see during THIS EPISODE how much it turns people against eachother. The challenge is entirely built around making the contestants spill their true feelings about each other, and using that to fuel drama. Suitcase literally has to choose between two people she cares about over who she’s bringing into the finals, pitting Baseball and Knife against eachother. While the show is ‘cruel and inhumane’, I don’t think that should just be a het out of jail free card for Taco. Yes, she did it because she felt there was no other choice to win, but she still did horrible things. She manipulated 2 people into actually believing she cared.

‘They’re too afraid to bear the bed they made, can’t bring themselves to face the awful truth.’ This is pretty much just her saying that the other contestants are too blind to see how much pain they’ve gone through to get to where they are.

NOW. Baby boy therapist, MePad.

‘You’re no menace, Taco, how did they hurt you?’ He agrees with Taco on the grounds of how much pain the contestants go through, but he’s just a little more concerned about the tact needed to show them. He knows that Taco wants to change, but she’s afraid to. He knows how much she wants to apologize to the people she’s hurt. He feels that there has to be something external she’s dealing with to have this level of spite in her, even if there isn’t, and all of her hate is towards herself.

‘Please think this through’ is pretty self explanatory. As I said, he agrees with Taco about her basic ideals, but feels like there are better ways to deal with the issue.

‘Feeling double crossed is part of dealing with the loss, yes, but the healing is a process, that’s the truth.’ He wants to see Taco get better, and he’s trying to get through to her about the fact that her feelings are entirely valid, but she has to, at some point, let go.

I also feel like the sound mixing is very purposeful. Taco’s voice rings through clearly, able to be heard without much difficulty. MePad’s vocals are softer, and a little quieter and harder to make out. Taco is so in her own head about the pain she’s gone through, she refuses to listen to any outside voice.

Then we get to Taco trying her best to cover up her emotions again and put on her mastermind persona with ‘I’m turning up the heat to sauté, I’ve some beef to get grilled. But I guarantee that today all the beans that get spilled won’t be mine.’ I love how this foreshadows the challenge, but doesn’t make it obvious.

We see one last crack in her facade in the penultimate ‘I’m fine.’ Again, the ‘mistake’ in this line feels incredibly purposeful. It’s incredibly pitchy and bad, to an almost ear-splitting level. Taco knows she isn’t actually okay at ALL, and has trouble telling such a blatant lie.

And then the last line, ‘now it’s time’, is her fully donning the mask once again, ready to expose the show for what it is.

ANYWAY. Uh. Thanks for reading all this bs. I fucking love this song so much, and I think Taco’s motivation in this episode is fascinating. Any comments or constructive criticism of my analysis is MORE than appreciated, hope you all have a wonderful day/night/whenever.

[akookminsupporter]

Hey! A couple of questions for you 😊

AYS, to me, was never going to “confirm” jikook. It was just unrealistic considering society and that they’re serving now. That being said, did AYS reaffirm for you jikook might be real? And do you think if it was your first bts content would you also think that there might be going something on (ie watching with no bias). For me, it showed how incredibly close they are and several moments of intimacy that goes beyond most friendships.

The second one is now 6 weeks out from the car convo, has your opinion on it or its relation to jikook changed? For me still, that car convo didn’t show they broke up or disprove that they may be dating.

One of my pet theories, even before Face and long before knowing buddy existed, was wondering if they took a step back in prep for military service - a let’s focus on solo careers and work on not being as tied together cause we have service a head of us. A practice run if you will. Not breaking up, more let’s try long distance.

More so now, and what I haven’t seen people talk about, is I was thinking about how for the other guys and jikooks prior relationships, they would know how hard dating as an idol would be. I’m sure Tae and Jennie had a lot to contend w being so busy as idols and on differing schedules. Same thing for dating a non famous, dealing w the insane hours and workload, rarely being in Seoul. And that was never a reality jikook faced - for a period they would’ve both lived and worked together. They were in the same schedule, the same places. And that would’ve been for a majority of their relationship. So no wonder post October 2022 was an adjustment, when they truly did not have any schedules as bts. And they’re both human, and Jimin has said both he and jk get lost in their work (from that colouring live). Sometimes we aren’t the best and prioritizing work and relationships, especially when it gets busy. You hear stories about loving couples going thru phases where they’re just roommates before making the effort to not just be living together. It seems like Jimin got incredibly busy and focused with Face and Muse. And jk is allowed to have feelings about that. Doesn’t mean them not being able to see each other to hang out is any deeper than that. Doesn’t show that they broke up or couldn’t be dating. I also wonder, since we may never get the background on it, if that period of time solidified the decision to enlist together. Where before it was a ok well enlist it will suck, became after that period of time nah we’re not doing 18+ months apart.

Ahhhh sorry for the long post, a couple questions and a couple thoughts for you haha

Hey anon, sorry for taking a bit to post your ASK.

“Did AYS reaffirm for you that jikook might be real?”

Yeah, definitely.

“Do you think if it was your first BTS content, would you also think that there might be something going on (i.e. watching with no bias)?”

Oh, absolutely. I think if I'd seen AYS without much context, I’d be sure they’re a couple, no doubt about it.

“The second one is now six weeks out from the car convo; has your opinion on it or its relation to jikook changed?”

Are you talking about Jungkook complaining that Jimin never reached out? Honestly, no, I still hold the same opinion I had initially.

I think one of the reasons why that time they talked is confusing for us is that we don’t have the context for a lot of things. For example, when did they decide to enlist together? I think that decision shaped many of their choices, like focusing on their work and perhaps on other friendships, because their relationship wouldn’t just pause dramatically come December 2023.

Honestly, I think that period in their relationship solidified whatever they have and made them want to be together, which is why they ended up enlisting together through a system that guaranteed they'd be together. Even if Jimin and Jungkook took a break—assuming they really have a romantic relationship—the fact that they decided to film a show together and enlist together in the army shows they’ve overcome whatever was separating them or that they’ve just realised they want to be together.

So, I think it’s a bit tiring and unnecessary to speculate about what might have happened during that time in their relationship because, first of all, we have no context, and second, they’re still together. The fact that they enlisted together through the buddy system is the biggest “proof” they can give that their relationship is solid, whatever that may be.

[actual-changeling]

Do you think Crowley would be more emotionally open without Aziraphale? I’ve never thought about it, but I’ve just read the tags of your last ask and now I’m really interested

Short answer? Yes, absolutely.

Long answer? Also yes, but it's complicated. <- past me was correct, this got very long, my apologies.

What-if scenarios are always part canonical evidence/part subjective interpretation, because the only Crowley we know is the one who spent six thousand years orbiting Aziraphale.

Still, there was a pre-Aziraphale him, up until Job I presume, which is when they started being lonely together, and we do see what they were like!

The Starmaker is his 'before', the being he was before the doubt, the war, the fall. Before hell and the garden and Aziraphale. She is the blueprint the Crowley we know is built on. In the short time we have with her, she's incredibly emotive—with both positive and negative emotions—and her body language is soft, almost fluid.

Showing emotions is simply a natural part of being a person, and what exactly that looks like obviously varies; but this angel has never been punished for doing so. There are no consequences, it's safe to exist however she wants (though not much longer).

After this, we get Crawley what I assume is more or less a short amount of time after the fall. Everyone got settled in hell, and once the institution was functional, they now needed to actually have humans running around on earth. Otherwise there are no souls to torture.

Even here, Crawley is still open, still smiling, still soft, although a bit more covert in their body language. She laughs and—this is the important part—questions God right on there on the walls of Eden.

Even after falling for asking question, she does not stop, not for one moment. Despite the trauma they undoubtedly must have gone through, Crawley sees an angel, slithers up to him, and strikes up a conversation, trusting that he will not hurt them.

Now, this is where subjective interpretation comes in, because we have no information of what the fall was actually like. They got punished for asking question, for rebelling, for trying to change the system—but in my opinion, they never got punished for having emotions.

In the modern day, angels are terrified of making mistakes or asking question, but they are still emotive, they physically express their feelings. Some are more intense in their expressions, others subdued, but from Muriel all the way to Gabriel, they talk about emotions, they show emotions, and that in of itself is not a crime.

Hell is just as—if not more—emotional than heaven. Just remember Hastur when Ligur was melting and then later during the trial, or Beelzebub when ze summons Crowley in the first episode.

Yes, they communicate in code a lot, but only when it comes to very specific kinds of information and interactions, not when someone is going insane over the blaring alarm.

Why does all of this matter?

Because it proves that the level of emotional suppression Crowley and particularly Aziraphale have reached is not taught by either heaven or hell.

Instead, just like Aziraphale's claims that 'heaven is watching', it is a rule system instated by himself for himself, and by extension for Crowley; he set the requirements for interaction and forced Crowley to meet them if he wanted to be around him.

We don't see Crowley laugh the way he did as Bildad or the Starmaker anymore, we never see him carefree or joyous or sad. I mean for fuck's sake, he HIDES behind his glasses, a physical manifestation of the repression he's caught in.

Humans wouldn't notice his eyes in the same way the police doesn't notice them at the convent in Tadfield. The glasses show up during Job, and we know Crowley already had a plan to go against orders, so glasses it is. However, he doesn't wear them during the crucifixion, which comes after Job. Crowley tells us she spent a lot of time with Jesus, so you'd expect her to be wearing them, but she isn't—whatever her relationship with Jesus was, she seemed to trust him a lot, and Aziraphale wasn't around.

Aziraphale is the one who demands silence, who never wants to talk about anything he himself hasn't approved as a 'safe' topic, he and his fucking forgiveness whenever Crowley questions God, calling him a demon and pushing him away whenever he openly shows affection towards Aziraphale.

So yeah, of course Crowley cannot regulate his emotions and has no idea how to express himself now, Aziraphale has shoved a gag down his throat for six thousand bloody years and still wants it to stay in place. Our closed-off Crowley would not exist without Aziraphale's continuous presence in his life, and that is a hill I am more than willing to die on.

Crowley is getting his heart broken in the worst, most violent way imaginable both times. But now? His face is stone and steel, one third of it hidden away behind black-out glasses. No tears, no words, no desperation, no flying hands or fluidly moving body.

This is the kind of person you become when someone else forces you to make yourself small, when emotions are punished and affection withheld until you act the way they want. It's horrible, it's unhealthy, and it destroys parts of yourself that you will never get back, no matter how hard you try.

So, in conclusion, yes, without Aziraphale's influence, Crowley would be softer, more open, and we would still see remnants of the Starmaker in him—but we don't.

[that-one-ao3-writer]

Guys I am actually going insane. Like. I was immersed into this update that I finished the entire quest in like 5 hours. I need to get this shit out of my system.

Spoilers under the cut.

haha gay people

Okay, on a serious note, I love how we were introduced to Moze as this cold hearted, doesn’t care for anyone kind of guy but he actually cares for Feixiao and Jiaoqiu and DOES think of them as friends. I also find the gentleness explored in his mannerisms, like his sweeping in owlbert’s show or the ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE way he accidentally falls asleep standing up in his idle. I think it gives him a different kind of subtle depth and I love it so much. I adore Moze and Jiaoqiu as a duo no matter if it is a platonic or romantic duo.

2. Traumatic BSD flashbacks

I already said this once when the animation was released but this kind of thinking and this story remind me so much of Yosano in the great war from bungo stray dogs. And it always hits the right spots. He witnessed all the people he nursed back to health go out there to get killed again. How many times would this happen? How many more would he heal just for them to go back out again? Jiaoqiu and Yosano are both unique perspectives to how war impacts the frontline warriors. We all always think about the soldiers and their pain and anguish but never of those who have to heal and nurse them only for them to enter battle once more. They are just prolonging the soldiers’ deaths. This is what I like about the Honkai universe, they are never afraid to go into harsh and rough topics like power dynamics, politics and slavery (discussed later).

3. “How do you make a fussy child eat green chillies?

How do you make a Warhead drink poison?

I have already given you the answer.”

THE JIAOQIU TORTURE WE GOT IN THIS QUEST WAS INSANE LIKE???????? What did my guy do broTT

This scene is the climax of Jiaoqiu’s character. His loyalty to Feixiao and the Yaoqing. His poison was the key to defeating Hoolay. And he was ready to sacrifice his life for it. Jiaoqiu has seen enough death and according to him, has sent many people to their deaths. He does not see value in his life, yet, he continued to work for Feixiao, to find a cure for an incurable condition. Moon rage is in her genes but still, he does not give up. He rescued Feixiao when she was just a child and his immense loyalty to her is so heartbreaking. I honestly thought he died, but the actual outcome? Bawled. If you look closer, you can see the trail of blood running down his eyes. Eating poison is no small feat. Jiaoqiu is brave and he is determined that if he were to end his life, it would be while conquering the enemy.

I also absolutely LOVE Jiaoqiu’s voice actor and how versatile his voice is. The tremor in his voice in the 2.4 quest? His voice in the final confrontation against Hollay? There is so much emotion packed into every word he says, I am now a big fan of him.

4. "I fight, so that i never have to see another shooting star again."

We know what Lan’s Lux arrow does. It is just destruction. It does not differentiate between friend or foe, just leaves a trail of blood in its wake. Ironically, it resembles a shooting star, something which fulfils wishes. But how Yukong lost Caiyi in Yukong’s story quest, and how Feixiao lost all her friends, there is no salvation. It is as Hoolay says here:

The Gods, that is, the aeons, neither bleed nor feel. THEY only have one attribute, the Path the preside over.  THEY hold no meaning of life. I think it is brilliantly contradicted when Feixiao shoots her arrow to kill the borisin near Aurum Alley. It looks like a Lux arrow; it feels like one. But only the borisin lay dead afterwards, Moze and the Trailblazer are fully unharmed. Her arrow can make out the difference between the enemy and the ally. This is where we see that her sentence had actually changed; she did not want to see another shooting star kill her loved ones again.

(Also the quick flash of Lan when THEY gazed upon her??? It was so exhilarating to see jebdjsbsja I love these cinematics)

5. The power dynamics between the foxians and borisin and slavery

We know star rail never shied away from topics like slavery, Aventurine’s backstory is proof of that. But that is just one aspect of a bigger issue. What the foxians went through could be said to be the generational and racial aspect of it, because the foxians and borisin are descended from the same ancestors. The so-called racial superiority comes from the alterations made to the physique after the whole abundance thing. The wolves gained the blessing of abundance to be able to control the moon rage (which is like mara to the xianzhou natives, iirc) but the regular foxians could not. Yet with power, comes corruption. This led to them thinking that they are now the superior race. The wolves became the denziens of abundance, the borisin. They enslaved the “inferior” foxians and cause havoc, until the xianzhou intervened. But we see that this problem has not been solved yet since feixiao became a general during the war with the borisin. The xianzhou helped many foxians escape to the yaoqing and other ships, but some could not escape. Like Feixiao, or more accurately, Saran. These foxians are still at risk of moon rage since the blood of Duran’s lineage runs thick through their veins. But they do not have the abundance’s blessing and are hence considered “lowly beasts”. This is generational slavery.

Such a racial aspect is also seen in the real world against south Asians, east Asians, black people and indigenous tribes from different countries. We sometimes do it unknowingly, too. But when we are faced with this as an outsider, like in a game, we come to see the true impact of it and how deep it goes.

I am not going to talk about Xianzhou politics in this post because I’ve already written this post twice because tumblr decided to fuck up today, but if you want a post of about it, comment or rb to let me know.

ALL IN ALL I LOVED THIS UPDATE AAA CANT WAIT FOR AMPHOREUS.

[wobster109]

Why is Aventurine Preservation-Imaginary?

(The real answer is, it's probably just HoYo filling out the path/element roster, but we'll play along!)

We'll tackle his element first. It's not the easier of the two, but it's the one with less info to sort through. The basic element types are:

Elements: wind, fire, ice, lightning

Sorta-abstract: quantum, imaginary

Physical: physical

It's a pretty funny system, all things considering. Here's Gepard, he can summon a massive wall of ice through will alone! Here's Dr. Ratio, he can make a massive tower just by thinking it into existence! Oh and here's Luka. Ordinary human. Pretty good at boxing.

(Not including Trailblazer here - probably the stellaron helps her swing that bat extra hard or something.)

And in the middle, you have Guinaifen, Hook, and Serval, who use the element but do not create it from scratch. For example, Serval is conceivably using electricity from her electric guitar.

Most of the elements are pretty self-explanatory, but Quantum and Imaginary are a bit more abstract. What are these types? What do they mean?

Quantum: technology, information, data, uncertainty

In my mind, Silver Wolf is the classic quantum character. She uses hacking to change data. In her hands, the data is always shifting. Fu Xuan is another direction that quantum can go - she's a diviner, and her job is peering into the future and making sense of the uncertainty. And then Qingque has elements of both: she works in divination, and also there is uncertainty in each hand of Celestial Jade.

Imaginary: Logic, abstraction, math/physics/metaphycs, theology

For some reason, Imaginary feels to me like dealing with the grand existential questions. There's Dr. Ratio on one end, knowledge is the measure of all things, and then there's Luocha with religious symbolism all over him, the devils, the church, the insanity in his character story, healing you with a cross necklace. Welt with his black hole - there's some kind of physics in there!

But this seems more like a philosophy than an element in battle. So in practice, what Imaginary characters have in common most of all is summoning miscellaneous objects 😅 black holes, dragons, chalk, etc.

So on that note, Aventurine fits right in, summoning dice and coins all over the place! Watch your he-ead~ 🎶🎵

I would've expected Aven to be Quantum. All the RNG in his kit. . . all the gambling, all the uncertainty. . . it seems more alike Qingque's tile suits. He even has card suits on his shields!

Perhaps the Imaginary is more about his character. Much of his story is intensely existential - what's the good of his blessing when everyone he loves is gone; why are we born if it's just to die. Perhaps he brings not just another answer, but a new way to see the question—not Why am I here, but All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.

A more direct question that he himself discusses is why he's Preservation. We know he was offered the chance to become a Masked Fool, and seek Elation - the pursuit of happiness. Yet he turned it down.

As his alter-ego says, he and Preservation have nothing in common.

Interestingly, he also gives himself the answer.

He didn't choose the Preservation. Aventurine chose the IPC.

But wait—aren't the IPC the bad guys?

It is fascinating to me when people make out the IPC to be the villain of this tale, or talk about him "escaping" the IPC as if he's being held hostage. Not only did he choose the IPC, he gambled everything, including his life, just for a sliver of a chance to join them.

They didn't kill his family, enslave him, brand him, or make him kill 34 other slaves. Certainly, the IPC has used Aventurine's talents and self-destructive behavior to their benefit, and is not particularly concerned with what becomes of him. They are big, corporate, and easy to hate. But they are also not the cause of his tragedy.

It's not the IPC, but rather the Katicans, that kill Kakavasha's family. His sister describes them as "bloodthirsty, cruel, and insatiably greedy." Personally I can’t say with confidence that the Katicans are villains without knowing their full history, but either way, the conflict is between the Avgins and the Katicans.

My feeling is that the IPC is amoral - they are not actively out to do harm, but neither will they go out of their way to avoid or prevent it. They are focused primarily on profit. Sometimes that means taking over a planet against the people's will. Sometimes that means making gambles. . . or sacrifices. Other times, it means hosting an Aetherium event.

So, why does Aventurine choose the IPC? What's interesting to me is, he isn't a slave to the IPC in any sense - not even in the lack-of-choice sense of Topaz's planet. He had a choice. He could have become a Masked Fool. So, why?

It all comes back to this:

"Go ahead, use me as you wish, even stab me in the back if you see fit. Exploitation and treachery are simply tools of the trade. But remember, I don't make deals that don't pay off... So, I hope you don't disappoint me."

The IPC is a tool to him, a means to an end. He expects that the IPC will use him, and in exchange he intends to use the IPC.

But to what end?

It's got to be something big. He could have become a refugee or an ordinary IPC employee, and instead he took the risk of lying about Tayzzynronth's remains. He let himself be arrested and brought to Jade. "I bet you won't send me to the gallows." Death was a possibility, so it had to be worth that risk.

My guess is that he wanted to save the Avgin people.

(And in this sense, Preservation is his true path after all.)

His sister tells him, "As long as you are alive, the blood of the Avgin will never run dry." Perhaps his goal was to save the remaining Avgin people, bring them away from the land of rock and sand and hardly any rain, and give them a home where they could prosper. Or to environmentally transform his home the way the IPC transformed other planets. To do that, he'll need more money and power than an IPC grunt's income. But with a Stoneheart's power, the IPC's money, and the Intelligentsia Guild's knowledge, he could make that happen.

(It feels off. It feels like too simple of an answer.)

But the Avgin people are all gone. Aventurine specifically says there aren't any left. Now that his reason is gone, what will become of him?

In a way, he does offer us an answer.

Aventurine: There will come a day when the sky will drizzle, and I will hear the call of Gaiathra Triclops and know that it is time for me to go and be reunited with my family. Aventurine: So until the time comes... I should be preparing. Kakavasha: Preparing for what? Aventurine: Preparing to face them, Kakavasha, and to make them proud.

He will go on to live a good life. What form will it take?

I don't think he can ever completely shake off the responsibility of being the last surviving Avgin. It would be quite a leap for him to settle down and have a family, so perhaps he'll have to pass it forward some other way. Either by preserving the culture (another museum management event?) or by dedicating his wealth and power to saving other peoples.

The thing about being somewhere is, you can't help but grow into it, and it grows around you. And now, he has. . . allies who are a bit closer to friends than he might think.

He has two coworkers who willingly handed over their cornerstones for his plan—cornerstones more precious than life itself. He seems to genuinely look out for Topaz (advising her against getting involved in Belobog), and she talks about him cheerfully during 2.1. And I am sure that bringing him into the IPC was a significant personal risk for Jade, especially since he'd already caused the IPC a major financial loss. For Jade and Topaz, he has—if not their trust, at least their respect in his abilities.

And he has the Intelligentsia Guild's top Mundanite fussing over his survival. Not for the Avgin bloodline, and not for profit or the success of a mission. Acheron refers to Ratio as his “friend”, and he doesn’t bother to deny it.

He has three allies/maybe-friends involved in a grand scheme with him, and isn't there something addicting about scheming together? Something as marvelous as what the Trailblazer has with the Express? So, I don't think he'll leave the IPC anytime soon. He carved out this path with his bare hands, made a life and a purpose for himself, and even made some friends along the way. Now, it's time to live it.

[vicholas]

i can't remember which page exactly but before october 7 one of wikipedia's pages on israel-palestine conflict had a section continually stressing how many Poor Israelis have died but another page linked in that same section showed statistics clearly displaying the far higher rates of death for palestinians. been wary of wikipedia's handling of this topic since

It's pretty bad, I only learned today that their official policy is to use the term "Israel-Hamas war" :|

It's extremely easy to exploit Wikipedia's guidelines regarding sources and 'neutrality' to endorse fascist bias. Wikipedia's bureaucratic system just makes it harder to fight against that because they make it harder to change that status quo when the biased version is considered the neutral one.

This person in that one discussion page put it well:

How do you take a stance in neutrality when you're convering a conflict in a world of biased journalism? What is the use of having a list of "reliable sources" for Wikipedia if those sources are unreliable in a specific topic? Wikipedia admins are too spineless to take strong stances in things like these, regardless of importance or consequences. That's how you get the right wing taking advantage of that.

Even a decision as simple as "The BBC is a reliable source when it comes to X topics but when it comes to Y it should be analyzed how it handles the topic, rather than taken as gospel just because it's the BBC" is too complicated and how their policy of reliable sources works. The BBC either is entirely reliable in everything or it is not.

It's particularly irritating seeing people in the discussion page saying stuff like "we can't call it massacre because we have to wait first for media to agree on how to call it". You can't preach about being all about neutrality and they say that you aren't allowed to call a person killing another 'a murder' unless the news explicitly used the word murder.

But that's not the Wikipedia way of seeing "neutrality". The Wikipedia definition of neutrality is this:

And it's worse because Wikipedia's influence in the world means that whatever they call the page has a strong chance of increasing the usage of the name of their choice. But somehow I feel like Wikipedia admins have no conscience on how much they affect bias.

So of course people who want the article to be named 'incident' instead of 'massacre' insist on keeping the 'incident' title "just for now" and wait to see what terms ends up more commonly used. Because of course the term that Wikipedia uses will bring more search results over time.

They know it and they exploit Wikipedia's system of bureaucracy by making the title changing discussions go on forever so it keeps making this the common term.

Sorry if I sound insane I need people to understand how frustrating the inner workings of Wikipedia are and how people exploit the flaws in the system for their own gains and Wikipedia admins are too incompetent to even admit this is a problem.

A lot of us who grew up with the internet didn't even get to know physical encyclopedias and thus the Wikipedia model has been kinda internalized as the only way to handle encyclopedic knowledge, but god this isnt normal. A historian has to take stances towards biased sources and analyze them in order to reach conclusions rather than relying on a list of "trusted" secondary sources as gospel truth. An encyclopedia writer should be no different! The whole model is wrong.

[vampkomori]

We know where Idrila is, Xipe is an artificial Aeon, and Sigonia is in the Lepismat star system [theory]

interesting thing about Penacony is that it has a lot of symbolic ties and imagery relating to Aeons that have, frankly, no business being there. or do they? having a bit too much fun reading too much into text.

tinfoil hat territory though bc this is for funsies

this will be a bit longer than usual (and the usual is already very long) beause im combining multiple trains of thought. it all started with bees. ahh, bees. were getting to the bees later though. lets start

Transmutation

When the Swarm Disaster began, Ena sought out Qlipoth and called them the "dreammaker that pulls and influences the will of transmutation." Essentially, seeking them out specifically due to this transmutation ability.

To help with understanding, this is the definition of transmutation:

The act of changing from one form, nature, substance, or state into another; synonymous with transform, convert.

heres where things get highly subjective and interpretative, because the moment of Tayzzyronths "fall" is described very, very vaguely.

- Swarm Disaster, Chapter: Preservation II

this is kind of tough to parse, so ill explain how i interpret this event:

During this.. "execution", multiple Aeons are present, "more than three voices". We know that Qlipoth (giant hammer), Aha (subtle laughter), and Tayzzyronth (whimpering) are present for sure. Ena is also likely present if you presume the "symphony" to be their sounds, but there are more Aeons that are left undescribed. 

Interestingly, Tayzzyronth being repeatedly struck (?) by Qlipoths hammer is described as "diluting". just for funsies, heres the definition:

dilute /dī-loo͞t′, dĭ-/ transitive verb 1. To make thinner or less concentrated by adding a liquid such as water. 2. To lessen the force, strength, purity, or brilliance of, especially by admixture. 3. To decrease the value of (shares of stock) by increasing the total number of shares.

To describe Tayzzyronths "death" as them being "diluted" is strange. Also, whats diluting them? Heres were we come back to the idea of transmutation.

Theres no direct evidence for what im about to say, so take it as me just offering a viewpoint and you decide for yourself if you vibe with that idea.

I propose that Tayzzyronth is being diluted by other Aeons. Drowning out their voice, so to speak

After this event, you discover a "white cloth" and "several puzzle pieces that sway in the wind”. The puzzle pieces are a clear connection to Xipe, implying that theyre present, but whats the white cloth?

Ena's puppet body is covered in a white cloth, and it being "tattered" is likely to showcase that they, too, were subject to Qlipoths hammer of justice transmutation.

Xipe is said to have assimilated Ena, so its interesting that they seem to be already present here. Itd be an insane coincidence if Xipe just happened to mysteriously absorb Ena at the same time as Tayzzyronth was "killed", but what if these two events are the exact same thing?

To put it bluntly, Qlipoth combined Ena and Tayzzyronth to become Xipe.

The entire thing is brought up again in 2.2, showcasing once more that any information on ancient history is unreliable because things are told to us very differently here.

Thus far, the events of the Swarm Disaster are vague at best and a complete mystery at worst. the most trustworthy telling of this story comes from the Simulated Universe, where we learn the truth surrounding this event. and as explained previously, during SU:SD we learn that Qlipoth was the one who "diluted" Tayzzyronth while other Aeons watched, and the only detail concerning Xipe was puzzle pieces swaying in the wind after this supposed "execution"

In short, Acheron and Black Swan are completely wrong here. At least Acheron prefaces this by saying "Legend has it" meaning that this is what normal people came up with after millenia of uncertainty. But we are intellectuals, weve played Simulated Universe: Swarm Disaster, and we know better

what comes after is fascinating though. stories have limited time to tell the things they want to tell, so theyre not going to waste time mentioning something thats genuinely irrelevant. Boothill being written to say that "the two leaderless Paths are working behind the scenes" is purposeful, because they couldve made him say anything else, but they chose to make him bring up the possibility that the Propagation is involved in Penacony.

Dan Heng going on to say that he doesnt see any "descendants of the Propagation in Penacony" is similarly interesting, because this is a simple, obvious surface-level deduction. yes, we dont see giant bugs in penacony.. do we? Again, they couldve made them say anything else, but they specifically chose to explore the idea of the Propagation in Penacony, even if the characters ultimately discard the idea.

Lets veer off a little for a couple of small tidbits to back this idea up a little more:

Path Symbols. The red symbol in the middle is whats used to represent the Swarm Disaster, theres clear similarities to the symbol of the Propagation (left), but its arranged in a strangely familiar, Harmony (right) way?

Theres a fascinating description at the very beginning of Swarm Disaster that, when i was replaying it, immediately reminded me of something:

Soulglad.

This text essentially describes the blood of Tayzzyronth, and by extention, the Swarm, as orange and colorful, smelling of oranges and other tropical fruits, evoking the feeling of an ocean of soda. Additionally, it seems to have hallucinogenic properties. This is consistent throughout Swarm Disaster. The various descriptions of Soulglad(tm) match the traits of Swarm Blood very, very closely, once again subtly tying the Propagation to Penacony.

basically, theres a lot that connects Tayzzyronth to Xipe, really hammering home that Propagation and Order were combined to create Harmony.

but hold your horses.

Xipe has, as we know, three faces. If they were made from two Aeons, their imagery surrounding the number 3 wouldnt be making a lot of sense now, would it?

This might be a bit of a leap, but they dont half-ass their symbolism. if Xipe is associated with threes, then why would it be..two? That doesnt add up. Theres Tayzzryonth and Ena, so, based only on this logic, who could possibly be the secret third Aeon that got roped into the transmutation?

but first, lets return to Swarm Disaster for a bit, and meet Xipe!

Xipe's dialogue is very, very unique, because it has three colors: blue, red, and white. although only red and blue seem to be "clashing". One of them is clearly Ena, but its hard to imagine Tayzzyronth being able to make coherent sentences.

Whats interesting though, is that Xipe knows Akivili, even though this is (potentially) the first time Akivili has met them (because Xipe was born very recently). Yet, Xipe talks to them as if they were an old friend.

Even more interesting is that Aha knows "Xipe" and says something curious about them: "changes happen rapidly"

"We were still negotiating last time, but this time, Ena already became you. It's a shame, my friend! But I must say Ena makes you look even better."

Xipe is a new existence, and the way Aha talks to them is as though theyre talking to who they used to be, and that someone is not Ena, because Aha specifies that "Ena makes you look even better", so who is this "you" that Aha was so familiar with, and whom they were negotiating with, before their "change"? Its not Tayzzyronth, because they were certainly not friends.

We know that both the path of Propagation and the path of Order are considered "leaderless" or... "dead but in a weird situation" if we want to be complicated. so, hypothetically, the secret third Aeon would have to be in a similar situation.

The only Aeons this applies to are Long the Permanence and Idrila the Beauty, both of which have "disappeared under mysterious circumstances" so they check off our requirements! However, we can write off Long, because according to Kafka, "After the disappearance of Long the Permanence, Tayzzyronth divided the Aeon's Path" meaning that Long had already disappeared before Tayzzyronth became an Aeon. This leaves only Idrila as our third candidate and component for Xipe.

So, was Aha friends with Idrila? Itd make sense for them to comment "Ena makes you look even better" if their whole thing was Beauty, and Ena made them "even more beautiful", right?

Fun side tidbit: Kafka says that "when the Swarm Disaster began to take hold, Tayzzyronth was attacked and killed by multiple Aeons." hm! anyway, moving on

Idrila

So, Idrila might be somewhere in our Xipe-flavoured slushie of divinity. Is there...any other evidence except the vague notion that, because Xipe is associated with threes, there must be a third Aeon?

Well, this is a theory for a reason. theres very vague implications, but nothing concrete to really support the idea. But heres a list of circumstantial evidence that could mean something:

All three Aeons (Propagation, Order, and Beauty) can be considered "leaderless paths", yet pathstriders still seem to be able to draw power from their path, which shouldnt be possible if their Aeon were really dead. Idrila is considered to only be missing by the Knights of Beauty, Propagation-bugs still exist despite Tayzzyronths alleged "death", and Order...well, you saw Sunday.

Beauty has connections to music, just like Ena (symphony) and Xipe (song), this is primarily observed in the Sidequest Clockwork: Larose where she talks about a Song of Beauty. Additionally, the Knights of Beauty also "chant ancient beautiful songs/hymns" as they roam the universe. Xipe and Ena, too, have "ancient hymns".

Although all Aeons are referred to with THEY/THEM, Idrila and Xipe are occasionally referred to with feminine terms, Idrila is called the "goddess of Beauty" and Xipe is called "the mother of all stars". This doesnt have to mean anything, but theoretically in a slurry of genderless Aeons, two of which are a giant bug and a robot puppet/floating eye, the feminine aspect of Xipe has to come from somewhere, and it couldve been Idrila.

Idrila doesnt have an entry in the Simulated Universe (which is a trait they share with Long and Terminus, a strange bunch) and we dont know their appearance yet. A bit suspicious, it could be possible that their appearance is similar to Xipe, which would give away the fact that theyre one of their 3 components. Its also implied/speculated that the silver hair in Argenti's Lightcone An Instant Before A Gaze belongs to Idrila, which happens to have the same shade as Xipe's hair.

This is again, highly interpretative, but Xipes ideal cannot be created solely with Order and Propagation, youll have a united Hivemind with those two, but Xipes whole thing is the beautiful dream paradise that the hivemind wishes to live in, which would only be complete if you threw Beauty into the mix.

Origin Universe: "I have seen wonders beyond the scope of human imagination... I have seen dozens of insects intertwine and give birth to entirely new offspring, which in turn weave themselves together like a shape-shifting rose with countless interlocking petals. The reproductive cycle of the Swarm is akin to a flower emitting pheromones and various scents... a breathtaking combination of monstrosity and beauty..." - Swarm Disaster: Sand King: Tayzzyronth, Part IV

Swarm Disaster has a lot of repetitive keywords and imagery all of which represent certain Aeons and their presence/influence. Mentions of roses/flowers, duty and beauty are Idrila’s, which are present in Swarm Disaster. In this case, in tandem with the Swarm. 

Speaking of the Swarm Disaster, we are first introduced to Idrila and the Knights of Beauty through Argenti, who was released alongside the bugs of the swarm. Although the Swarm Disaster expansion was released earlier, this was the Swarm's first appearance in the main plot. This is very pointed, because it narratively ties the Swarm to Beauty.

In 2.0, theres a dream sequence shown to us by Samporkle that feels incredibly out of place, and weird, and we have no idea whats going on. But theres clearly a hidden meaning there, especially because Samporkle tells us so

Were told that theres a truth behind this dream and that it contains a hidden meaning, its likely an allegory to Penacony as a whole, but even now, in 2.2, we cant really make heads or tails of it. Likely, this will be covered in 2.3, when Sparkle’s buttons come back into play. But the thing i want to focus on is the beginning of the sequence where we encounter three trashcans. 

Now, this could be a stretch, but you have to split something for these three trashcans perfectly evenly, balanced, and theyre each referred to as Serious (Propagation, wealth symbolizing excess here), Wise (Order), and Beautiful (Beauty), i just feel like thats a little on the nose, isnt it? “But why would they parallel Aeons?” you ask, and i hear you, its mosty because the text refers to their watchful gazes a lot, and Aeons.. gaze upon you. A stretch, again, i know, but i felt it was worth mentioning regardless.

And lastly:

The Mirror Holders are a faction following the Beauty, and its said that

"When the God of Beauty died, THEIR fragments were scattered to the cosmos. The wandering Mirror Holders tried their best to find clues and recapture these fragments, hoping to one day piece everything back together and let Beauty return to the world."

This seems to say that Idrila died, but keep in mind that its entirely unknown what happened to Idrila. Whats interesting is that, for some reason, their "fragments" (mirror imagery) were "scattered" when they "disappeared". this would add up if they were subject to Qlipoths ol' magic hammer and turned into Xipe-mush. The process isnt exactly pretty, if Enas "tattered white cloth" is anything to go by.

This isnt the point i was going for though, the point is that theres a rather interesting character in the Clockie Cartoon that fits this description to a T: the Mirror Princess

We know that every character in the Clockie Cartoon represents a person from the past: Clockie is Mikhail, Boss Stone is the IPC, Captain Revolver is Tiernan, and the Mirror Princess is thought to be Razalina, given her involvement with Memoria and her disappearance in the memory zone.

But symbolism is symbolism and a role can fulfill multiple purposes and represent multiple people, especially considering the very pointed imagery of shattering.

They fight against an intangible monster called "Unknown" and we know these events are not what happened 1-1 in the past because everybody here is present for the Mirror Princess' "death", and Razalina disappeared in the memory zone while doing research and we technically dont know what happened to her (personally I think this will be covered in 2.3 but this is unrelated)

Anyway, the shattering of a mirror is extremely evocative of the shattering of Idrila:

When the God of Beauty died, THEIR fragments were scattered to the cosmos.

and particularly they point out that despite the Mirror Princess' death/shattering, she is still watching over "Dreamville" (Penacony) with her radiant glow. That, in turn, is evocative of Xipe, because what else is an intangible entity that watches over Penacony with their radiance? This doesnt sound like something a regular person like Razalina would be capable of

This is just to tie in parallels and connections between Idrila and Xipe though, theres a lot of very circumstantial things connecting them, but again, nothing explicit or concrete. this is a theory. im not expecting to get anything 100% right here.

The mirror-holder gazes into the mirror, but recognizes not the face staring back.

Plus, if Idrila is now Xipe, they wouldnt recognize their Beauty in the face of the Harmony.

So, weve established that Idrila is a pretty good candidate for the third component of Xipe in Qlipoth's act of transmutation. The evidence is circumstantial, but there is this interesting little discovery i made when revisiting our favourite goddess: Gaiathra Triclops

Gaiathra Triclops, Sigonia, and Lepismat

We know Order was "assimilated" into Xipe, this is pretty much fact. but theres some more things that tie into Propagation that ill mention here.

ive established before that the goddess Gaiathra Triclops is Ena (or at least has strong ties to Ena) pretty irrefutably, but the ties go a little deeper, i just didnt have reason or context to make anything of these ties yet. i do now! yippee

Avgin is repeatedly mentioned to mean Honey, seemingly for no reason

"Avgin" means "honey" in the Sigonian language. It's a conventional term irretrievably lost in the long arc of cosmic history. - Sigonia, the Unclaimed Desolation, Planar Ornament Set

Clearly, theres a reason its always brought up, and why its pointed out, and why they emphasize that theres a reason that one of the clans is named "honey". In tandem, "Katica" means "shellslasher". This will be relevant

ive tried tracing the etymology of Gaiathra before, and although this is highly subjective, i ended up with "gaia" and "kerithra": mother gaia the greek personification of the earth, and kerithra which is greek for "honeycomb"

Sigonia is also shown to look like a beehive in the planar ornament set.

Honey evokes the imagery of Bees, which ..are insects. obviously. The hexagonal shapes of the honeycomb are also often used to indicate structure, control, and orderliness in general media. orderly little worker bees, hives, hivemind, you get the idea.

although physical depictions of Gaiathra dont exist, we know shes considered to be a "left palm with three eyes" which is un-insect-like. Thats just a side point though, most importantly is the entire honey-bee-insect association they seem to be going for here.

So, Gaiathra has ties to Order and also Propagation. But we cant forget the second part of her name, Triclops, once again bringing up the imagery of threes, similar to Xipe. Gaiathra has 3 eyes and may thrice close her eyes for you, and is also the goddess of three domains: fertility, travel, and trickery, so...whats up with that. Is Gaiathra just Xipe after all?

Yes and no, i think its simpler and more complicated than that

Origin Universe: "The formidable army spawned by the self-replication and division of the Sand King originates from the Lepismat system. Some units of the Swarm have transformed into ground combat units... They have sacrificed flight for colossal size and hardened carapaces... These units often serve as the shock troops of the Swarm Invasion, using their massive bodies to break through defenses..." - Swarm Disaster: Sand King: Tayzzyronth, Part IV

Before we go into that though, lets establish some ground: Tayzzyronth was born in the Lepismat System, on a Sand Planet later known as Elydichna. The entire planet was home to these insects, until one day an unnamed man arrived with the goal of establishing a civilization there, and subsequently caused the extinction of these insects, leaving only one behind: Tayzzyronth. Being the only remaining survivor, their loneliness made them ascend to Aeonhood.

The way the unnamed man is described is…. very familiar.

“Always managed to succeed against all odds”, “his triumphs have filled him with avarice, hubris, and an unwavering belief that he can conquer [anything]” and “He can get whatever he desires but never discovered what he really wants” Sound familiar? 

Why, that sounds like our good friend Aventurine!

I know, that sounds ridiculous. But also so, so on point, this is hardly a coincidence. Why describe this random, unnamed man in such a way? We follow this guys journey throughout the chapters of Lepismat System: Massacre Saga and it is all a heavy parallel to Aventurines story: Hes afflicted by Nihility, but became a self-annihiliator in search of his lost self, successfully built a civilization yet had to watch its collapse and everyones death while he remained alive throughout it all, until he eventually succumbed to Nihility after finding his lost self and became a Sin Thirster, unable to let go of his regrets.

To my knowledge, this is the first mention of Sin Thirsters by name, tying this to Penacony even more intensely due to Acheron. 

This unnamed man is such a heavy “what-if” parallel to Aventurine that i can hardly even believe it. Whats funny is that theres an allusion to the man being guided to Lepismat by Aha, and coincidentally we know Aventurine was invited to the Tavern, too. Ridiculous, right?

Well, this is getting a little into conspiracy territory again, but I believe this is an iteration of Aventurine in an earlier Samsara. We know Hoyo LOVES samsaras and theres plenty implying that such a thing is happening, especially when we look at the chapter of the Beyond the Sky Choir which ill add in at the end for anyone curious about it. Regardless, the man that founded a civilization on a sand planet in the Lepismat system and caused the ascension of Tayzzyronth is a parallel to Aventurine. 

So, lets just go a little crazy: What if that sand planet is just Sigonia-IV? After millenia, the original name of the planet (Elydichna) was surely forgotten, causing it to be rediscovered at one point and re-named Sigonia. “But theres no basis for this assumption!” There isnt, but im having a blast. Let me point you to something funny:

Aventurine, completely unprompted, brings up the idea of the Intelligentsia Guild digging up the remains of the Sand King Tayzzyronth from the sands of Egyhazo.

What a weird thing to make him say, bringing up Tayzzyronth in relation to Aventurine, his remains no less. It was a lie and he was mocking them, but the mention is interesting nonetheless. Theres also just a mountain of questions here: Does the Guild not know which planet Tayzzyronth originated from? Does anyone? So much knowledge is obscured or lost to time, how do they know Tayzzyronth even died on the planet they were born? How does Aventurine know? Hes talking about a place called Egyhazo here, evidently not Sigonia, unless its the name of a desert in Sigonia? We just dont know. The details dont matter, the fact that Tayzzyronth, and indirectly, the sand planet they were born/died on, is brought up by Aventurine, whom weve established is a parallel to the man who was inadvertently the reason for Tayzzyronths ascension in the first place… is crazy.

But lets focus on this: Tayzzyronths remains. 

According to the scholar, such horrors have not completely disappeared. The Imperator Insectorum's descendants remain, and THEY could return at any moment. This scholar once showed me his collection — A dull yellow piece of amber with moving flecks and a buzzing tremor. I was absolutely gob-smacked to hear him say that it is part of the "Imperator Insectorum's Prison Cell." The omniscia implanted in my forehead could not see the future of this item, which only serves to corroborate the scholar's claims. All I can do is pray in silence to the Reignbow that such a day will not come soon. - Glimpses into the Beyond: Swarm Author

In this text, Fu Xuan narrates that there are pieces of amber containing “remains” of Tayzzyronth. The “amber” is a clear pointer to Qlipoth, and amber is a pretty classic thing to preserve insects in. 

With the release of 2.1, we also got a new ascension material: Divine Amber. Specifically, its “the amber that rains from the Amber Lord's body when THEY swing the celestial hammer.” Curiously, Aventurine is currently the only one to use it. Its clear that this whole thing seems to refer to the moment that Qlipoth swung their hammer at Tayzzyronth to transmute them, and similarly to how a white cloth from Ena and shattered mirror pieces of Idrila were found after the fact, pieces of Tayzzyronth were likely also left over, which were then encased in Amber by Qlipoth.

This is, once again, circumstantial because there is nothing directly tying Elydichna/Lepismat to Sigonia, except for a few common themes and references from Aventurine. Both places, however, are consistently described as desolate to the point that thats a clear keyword to look out for. Also, they make a point to say that Sigonia is “located in an unclaimed zone”, meaning that it could totally be the Elydichna Starzone/the Lepismat star system. The lack of confirmation is valid, too.

The Tear Crystal of Glorious Death synthesis material has a rather interesting description, because it describes a Mourning Actor taking a Gondola to a “silent world of barrenness” which was the site of a “doomsday battlefield”. This is a direct reference to Swarm Disaster, specifically the Gondola: Helping Gods! chapter.

Origin Universe: The gondola set sail, and the drowsy Mourning Actors lay at the bottom deck, carefully guarding the glittering Memory Bubble. But soon, the ship vanished eerily, like a ghost fading into the stream of the universe.

Meaning that the “silent world of barrenness” is Elydichna in the Lepismat system, Tayzzyronths sand planet. Note here that “barrenness” is a synonym for “desolation”, a word consistently used to describe Elydichna, as well as Sigonia, whose Planar Ornament set is literally called Sigonia, the Unclaimed Desolation. (mic drop) 

I jest. Anyway, the fact that Tayzzyronth was fated to “die” in the same place they were born implies the transmutation took place on Elydichna, and that the planet was not destroyed despite everything, considering that the Mourning Actor arrives to the aftermath. 

To focus on the Tears for a moment, they could be anyone’s, ranging from Tayzzyronth’s, Ena’s, or even Idrila’s. Due to their crystalline nature, im inclined to believe theyre Idrila’s tears, though. Actually, Idrila’s imagery is very similar to that of Fuli the Remembrace, mirrors, crystals, gems, etc. Herta says that the Enigmata’s birthplace is the Remembrance, and I can see that being the case for Beauty, too. “Beautiful memories” and all that. What a wild family.

Going back to Sigonia, we know there are at least 3 tribes present on Sigonia, once again following the rule of threes. Theres the Avgins (honey), and Katicans (shellslashers) and an unnamed third faction which are only ever referred to as Sigonians. This unnamed third tribe are the ones who established the Sigonian Sovereignty, though “this unity and progress did not extend to the Avgins and Katicans.”

Personally i believe the three tribes to be the descendants of the Elydichnans, each possibly paralleling a variant species of the Swarm, theres a curious part in the Lepismat System chapter that lists three bugs:

Look around while making the record. — You're curious as to what kinds of insects he's caught during the process. Origin Universe: At his feet lie a few *Larnoli Worms*, characterized by their soft bodies and exquisite color hues... reminiscent of jelly drops. Origin Universe: On his table, there are tiny *Fisgerald Bugs*... ruthless and elusive assassins... Some of them only reveal their true form under certain lighting conditions. Origin Universe: He is toying with... a *Tagger* in his hand? No matter how you move around, his gaze never meets yours as he always keeps an eye on your back. - Swarm Disaster: Lepismat System: Massacre Saga, Part IV

These bugs are only ever mentioned here, meaning there is more to them than meets the eye. The tagger is implied to have affected the unnamed man that established Elydichna, while the other two are seemingly irrelevant. This is by and far the biggest stretch thus far, that these have anything to do with the tribes on Sigonia, but the Fisgerald Bugs being “ruthless elusive assassins” is evocative of the Katicans, who are described as “bloodthirsty, cruel, and ferocious”. Additionally, Katica means “shellslasher”, which could refer to the act of slicing through the carapace (shell) of a monster from the swarm. This is wholly and genuinely only based on vibes, though.

Another little side note, throughout 2.1 theres a theme of wondering what the Sigonians (or perhaps, specifically the Avgins) did to deserve ��living in a world like that” (one of tragedy and despair). If they intend to imply some sort of “collective sin” that the Sigonians must repay (for the actions committed by their ancestors?), i can imagine the “sin” being the very ascension of Tayzzyronth and as a result, the entirety of the Swarm Disaster. Especially since the unnamed man, who could be blamed as the catalyst, is a parallel to Aventurine. 

Anyway, lets go back to Gaiathra Triclops!

Now that we have this whole context, what can we say about Gaiathra Triclops? Theres ties to Tayzzyronth, but theres evidently ties to Ena, too… Sooo whats up?

What with this whole spiel about remains and there being pieces left over after the transmutation of all Aeons involved (Tayzzyronths remains in amber, Ena’s cloth, Idrila’s shattered mirror), I believe Gaiathra is just that. The leftovers of these 3 Aeons combined, not enough to form an Aeon or resemble Xipe in any way, but enough to be its own entity. A left palm is pretty “thats all thats left over of them?” to me, especially since the Sigonians believe that “the earth, the mountains, and all that exists on the land are a part of the Mother Goddess' divine body” so theres a body, but its the very earth itself, and whats left is only a left hand. 

Gaiathra contains references and imagery to all three Aeons, the eyes of the Avgins being a reference to Ena, the history of Sigonia being tied to Tayzzyronth, especially Kakava: 

The Avgins view the world through the body of the Mother Goddess — the earth, the mountains, and all that exists on the land are a part of the Mother Goddess' divine body. And at the end of each calendar year, her divine body will perish. On that significant day, her divine essence ascends as a resplendent aurora in the night sky and is reborn in the following day. Hence, Avgins celebrate the first day of the new year through their grand festival called "Kakava." During this festival, they weave sacrificial vessels known as "Knots of Cyclicality" and toss them into bonfires to commemorate the Great Goddess' birth. - Sigonia, the Unclaimed Desolation, Planar Ornament Set

They celebrate the “death and birth of the Great Goddess”. To me, this sounds a lot like Tayzzyronths history, born and died on their home sand planet. There is consistent implication of cyclicality in Swarm disaster, as well as rebirth and the foretelling of their return (likely a reference to the samsara). Incidentally, The link rope in the Sigonia planar ornament set is called Knots of Cyclicality, and the Kakava festival is about the annual death and rebirth of Gaiathra.

So how about references to the third Aeon, Idrila? Well, the Avgins are blessed with “attractive facial features, beautiful eyes, and an innate wealth of emotional intelligence.” Interesting thing to point out about them, isnt it? They couldve just been emotionally intelligent but they chose to emphasize their beauty, too. Also, they seem to “have an appreciation for intricately patterned fabrics, as well as a penchant for jewelry crafted from precious gemstones” which i personally believe to be attributes of Beauty as well.

Theres another thing: Gaiathra is said to “reign over all matters related to fertility, travels, and trickery”, which is a very strange bunch of domains to be a goddess of, as they all seem very unrelated to each other and have nothing in common.

This is likely a reference to Propagation, Order, and Beauty. Propagation is clearly fertility, as they reproduce endlessly. Order is most likely trickery, given that Ena was the one who orchestrated the transmutation and people believe its puppet body to be the Aeon when its actually the eye, and travel potentially refers to Idrila, since the Knights of Beauty “fearlessly travel from planet to planet, extolling the name of Idrila to the beings of the universe.“ They have Idrila’s blessing, so in a way, Idrila is blessing their travels. 

So! Thats just about the end of my very longwinded way of conveying the idea that Xipe is an Aeon made of Tayzzyronth, Ena, and Idrila through Qlipoths transmutation by request of Ena, likely to suppress the Propagation and keep it under control so another Swarm Disaster doesnt happen again. With added bonus speculation that Sigonia is Elydichna, the birthplace of Tayzzyronth, and that theres a samsara going on. 

Heres some cut bonus content that is unrelated to the theory, which I thought were fun. They support underlying ideas, but didnt fit into the overall structure, so im adding them here at the end like a bloopers gag reel.

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In 2.1, when Aventurine and Ratio are doing puzzles in Sunday's mansion they come across statues of "nightingales", and Aventurine strangely points out that they actually look more like Torment Eagles to him.

This is a really, really weird remark to make because this goes nowhere. So, i thought, clearly, this is foreshadowing, and these statues are not nightingales, they really are actually torment eagles.

and lo and behold!

2.2 brings up Torment Eagles again. they tied torment eagles to Sunday and Robin and basically answered, yes, these statues were torment eagles, aventurine. and im the only guy excited about torment eagle mentions. i delight in the simple things in life.

this is just to illustrate that they dont bring up things for no reason, and they will elaborate on them.

In Swarm Disaster, theres a chapter about the Beyond the Sky Choir, which focuses on a pair of two twin brothers: the elder twin is made crown prince, while the younger twin is referred to as a singer. Sound familiar?

These are likely incarnations of Sunday and Robin in an earlier samsara, just like how the unnamed man is Aventurine’s. 

Their story ends with a sacrifice. The younger twin drowns, and is said to have the “most moving and holy of voices that ever harmonized for the gods”, extremely evocative of Robin. Remember that in the dreammaster’s original plan, Robin was going to sing at the Charmony Festival and summon the Order, likely intended as a ritualistic sacrifice. 

I didnt manage to fit this into the screenshot, but the text continued like this:

Swarm Universe: ...His sacrifice marked the end of this farcical dispute. Swarm Universe: And a crowd was kneeling by the shore, expressing their thanks for the drowned, even if they still don't know *which one* of the twins it was. - Swarm Disaster: Beyond the Sky Choir: Anomaly Archives, Part II

This is extremely curious. The people witnessing the sacrifice were not able to tell which one of the twins it was that drowned. A strange mention likely intended to mean that the roles were actually reversed, and that it was the crown prince elder twin who ended up drowning, while the younger singer twin is the one that lived. That is what happened in 2.2. Most likely the truth is that in the earlier samsara, it was the younger twin that died, but the implication of reversal was a hint that, in a later iteration, they would swap roles. 

To further hit home that Sunday and Robin are explicitly tied to these twins:

The dreammaster calls them “twins of the Order”, despite them not being twins. Clearly echoing that the “destined path” one of them needs to “follow to the end” is a consistent cycle of siblings being separated.

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/theres another bit of speculation surrounding the Stellaron Hunters which also ties into my other post about the theory of Elio being an Emanator of Order but this post is very long and i cant add any more images. boo. so youll find it in a reblog from me somewhere.

Anyway thank you for reading ♥

[redaliveviolation]

SPOILERS FOR BATMAN 148!!

Am I a bad person for laughing when I heard that Jason got killed off again? No, here’s why and how I think he should die instead:

This is gonna be a long one so strap in folks. I have sort of been cherry picking this whole run just because the writing has been so wishy washy, so much so that it’s genuinely made me lose an interest in DC. Comics lately have been pulling the weirdest things just for shock value, because they can’t write a half decent story line or character anymore. Their characters will have some growth and then it immediately gets destroyed a couple of issues later.

I’m sure you’ve heard it before (because we all agree) but there’s no real consequences in comics anymore. Characters get killed off at the end of an issue just for them to be revived within a few issues or if we’re going with Batman 148, literally the next one. There’s no legitimate stakes because everything that happens gets “fixed.” Tim gets shot through the throat? Eh he’ll be fine, he can walk it off and be up and running within an issue or two. Bruce starts acting erratic/insane (again)? Oh don’t worry it’s not actually Bruce it’s his alternate personality Zur-En-Arrh. Which, side note, is the stupidest fucking name/concept I’ve seen in a while, truly baffling.

Honestly, the only part of the run that I’ve seen so far that’s even a little bit interesting is Bruce literally changing Jason’s brain chemistry so that whenever adrenaline hits he has a fear response so bad it shuts him down. Let’s start off with, hey Bruce what the fuck? If he’s had a machine that can legitimately rewire a person’s brain in that way to make him incapable of killing, why in the world would you not use it on the rogues? And yes, I understand that some of them either don’t react to fear, embrace it, don’t care etc etc but if you have the technology to change their brain whos to say you can’t make that machine do whatever you want? It doesn’t have to be specifically fear. Maybe force their motor neurons to not respond whenever they experience an adrenaline rush so they physically cannot move and kill their prey. Moralistically, it’s not the most correct, obviously, but that’s just an example of an extreme. There’s a lot more acceptable things it could be used for and Batman never does. Having that as a plot point makes no sense logically when applying it to Bruce in any way. Even though he’s been written as straight up brain dead these last few years based on his decisions, Bruce is a very smart man and could absolutely find both a morally correct and smart/safe option using the machine. It doesn’t even make sense for him to have it seeing as he would have used it already and cut down on about half of his Gotham related problems. “Oh, but red! That would mean that we’d have to get rid of the Joker because the machine would have taken care of him.” GOOD, I’m sick of his ass, there are so many better rogues to pick from as a new arch enemy. The Joker is bland, predictable, and I could not give less of a fuck about him, he’s not compelling in any way.

Secondly, as fucked up as it is it could actually (unfortunately, I don’t like giving them any credit nowadays) be an insanely good way to kill off Jason and make it stick. Or, at least I think they should make it stick because again, actions have consequences and comics need to go back to that. Anyways, to sum it up it would most likely send Jason into cardiac arrest. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) controls both the adrenaline and fear responses the machine would be “regulating.” The SNS triggers the fight/flight response and sends epinephrine (adrenaline) throughout the body, elevating heart rate and blood pressure. As soon as higher levels of epinephrine are produced the machine will kick on the fear response to “suppress” this, but instead of shutting off the flow of epinephrine and/or producing acetylcholine to lower heart rate, when the fear response is kicked into motion even more epinephrine will flood the system. It becomes a never ending cycle fueling itself, never ending fear. Your heart working that hard and fast for such an extended period of time would absolutely give out on you.

Personally, I think that would be an insane wake up call to everyone but for this he would need to stay dead and to stay dead for a while. As in several years at least. As stated earlier, long term consequences do not exist in DC (or at least Batman) comics anymore, everything gets turned around with not great writing or retconned or generally not accepted as canon. But a death like this would mean something. It wouldn’t just be death for shock value, it would be Jason Todd, one of Batman’s alleged greatest mistakes being put down like a dog and Bruce having to live with it. How would Bruce’s morals shift and change because of his death? Would he reconsider how he deals with rogues, would he retire, would he leave? How would his children react and retaliate? How would the rogues react seeing Batman inadvertently cause the death of his child in his pursuit of Justice?

The effect of Jason’s death was extremely significant on many characters and their development the first time it occurred, would it be more or less so this time? So many routes to pursue, it’s a horrifying concept when you think about how it would actually affect Jason which is why they’re never going to do anything about it. If you’re going to use a character death as a plot point it has to actually mean something, not a mindless death that’ll be cured quickly and with an incredibly inane line of “I’ve had practice dying.” Wow, you’re so original. I’m pretty sure I read that in some b-rated fic by a 14 year old two years ago. Also, maybe stop acting like Jason is the only one who has died and that he’s the most special because of it? Outside of Tim (because he’s never legit died in canon, only offshoots) practically everyone else in the family has died at one point. His personality is not just his death. It’s irritating and it’s poor writing.

TLDR: I’m right, DC’s wrong and their writing is shit. If Jason dies it needs to have an actual literary purpose and it needs to stick for it to mean anything.

[tamelee]

Just a little rant about HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE NARUTO FANBOYS OH MY GAAWWWDDDD besides the obvious reasons (homophobia, misogyny, incels) they worship the shit outta the worse characters ever like Shikamaru and Itachi and Hinata. Like I just saw on the Naruto Reddit (my fault, I know, but I searched something up about Naruto and the first link discussing that was Reddit) and they all used that stupid dumbass filler where Shikamaru was asking his dad about Naruto and why everyone hates him and how he doesn't hate him (even tho in CANON he did 😤) and they all said not only is he a better friend to Naruto than Sasuke ever was but (here we go again) Sasuke's more of a brother 🙄 and they also said Sasuke treated Naruto like trash and was the worst friend 🤦🏻‍♀️ like it's so insane to me the dudebros lack of brain and reading comprehension. Like how do you as a grown ass man not know the difference between what's actually real and what's not about what you're watching? Or maybe it's that they just hate Sasuke so much and how much Naruto loves him and keeps talking about him and how he's his best friend in canon (he said it way too much for me to believe that even these ugly incels couldn't understand) that they'd rather give the credit to someone else that isn't a threat and doesn't make Naruto act borderline homosexual. Oh and they obviously ignore Shikamaru's blatant misogyny and still consider him the best thing ever because why would they care 🙄 anyway end rant, sorry. I just hate this fandom 😭 I stay on my side of things mostly (well, other than this one time. But when I do I just rant about it to someone and move on)

Ah yeah it’s frustrating isn’t it? 

I think it’s obvious if you’ve read the Manga. I wonder if they’ve only seen the Anime and just don’t bother checking what is canon first. So much is changed from Kishimoto’s original. (Has anyone seen that twt discussion on filler? I’d love to read your opinions on it.) 

I mean, Hinata’s supposed backstory with Naruto is just ridiculous, but I don’t understand why people think Naruto was friends with any of them? Even if it’s shown in filler that Naruto was around them or they asked their parents about Naruto... what makes fans say they were friends? 

Sasuke was the only one who acknowledged Naruto with a smile and they weren't even friends until much later.

Right before the exams, Shikamaru tells team 7 not to die. Not because he’s worried for them, but because he believes they’re not capable, largely because of his lack of faith in Naruto. While Naruto calls them idiots and insults both Shikamaru and Hinata as he introduces them to the reader. 

'A big mouth idiot' and a 'weirdo' (I believe he actually also called her creepy but I can't find the translation, but remember when Kushina told Naruto not to go for a weird girl? She used the same words xD) And then Shikamaru immediately wanted to target Naruto in the forest of death.

Had either of them at any point been friendly to Naruto or whatever, then we would’ve known here and Naruto wouldn’t have insulted them like he did (as is his right) because he craved a connection more than anything. It’s ridiculous how the Anime at times just blatantly ignores the lonely misery Naruto had to grow up in (ALONE) in favor of these other characters. As if sugarcoating that would make any of them look less bad. And don't get me started on Hinata during that written test because it's no wonder Naruto got so confused and didn't trust her "kindness".

Regardless, I think a lot of Naruto-fans who tend to glorify any of these friendships and extending it for what it is largely do so because they side with a narrative regarding the system and don't get why Sasuke (and others) challenged it in the first place. Brushing it off like it was some evil, selfish thing. I personally like Shikamaru's development and who he is as a character in the end because him showing change might've been very helpful in actually changing the system had they worked towards that. But you know... we'll never know.

[reigningqueenofwords]

I Don't Need Details

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Part 6 of Little Soldier

You were straddling Bucky’s lap, your hands in his hair as you rocked against him. His arms held you close, not wanting to let you go. You started to kiss over his jaw. “I think we should move to my room.” You breathed.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” He lifted you as he stood, chuckling as you let out a squeak before nipping his neck. “Shit, doll.” He groaned. This was a feeling he had missed more than he knew. The barely half eaten pizza sat forgotten on your coffee table, the show you had been watching nothing more than background noise. Not that either of you were listening to it.

Once in your room, he kicked the door shut, eager to be with you again.

Nat stared at you as you paced her room one night. Dom was having a sleepover with Wanda and Vision, so you’d surprised her by knocking on her door. That had been ten minutes ago. “As much as I love your company at nearly eleven at night, I’d love to know what the hell is going on even more.” She teased. “Or is your plan to make a permanent circle in my carpet?”

Swallowing, you looked at her. “I slept with him.” You blurted out, causing her eyebrows to shoot up. “It just happened! One minute we’re hanging out, eating pizza, and watching a show. The next we’re in my room and well…” 

Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she managed to process that. “You slept with who? Steve?” That’s who her money was on. 

“What is it with you and this Steve thing?!” He looked at her like she was insane. “I will never sleep with Steve. Ever. I’m more likely to sleep with you.” You shot back, rolling your eyes. “I mean Bucky.” You flopped face first on her bed. “We couldn’t agree on a damn cake for Dom, so he suggested taking a break. He ordered pizza and we put on some show to watch. Bam. We’re fucking in my bed.” 

Nat stared at you in complete shock. “Okay, before we unpack all... that .. Please tell me that you used protection!” She hissed. “Don’t tell me you were so stupid!” 

You winced. “Why would I have any?!” You countered. “I went out the next morning and got a plan B pill, though, Mom .” You sighed. “We’re good.” 

“Wait, when did this happen?” 

“Last week.” You muttered seconds before she hit you with a pillow. “I’ve been trying to process this! And next week we all fly out to Maine for Dom’s party. For an entire weekend. I thought I should get this out of my system before that. Don’t you agree?” 

Nat ran a hand through her hair. “I never thought you’d come into my room talking about sleeping with your ex.” She shook her head. “I mean, isn’t it a thing that you don’t fuck your baby daddy?” You furrowed your brows and looked at her. “What? Is there something more going on now?” 

You groaned at her question. “I don’t know what the hell is going on.” You teared up, frustrated. “I don’t know if he slept with me just because he could, if he wanted to because there’s still some feelings there, or what.” You told her. 

“Well, are there feelings there for you? Do you still love Bucky?” She asked, her tone a bit more gentle this time. 

While you were confiding in Nat, Bucky was confiding in Steve. “What’s going on, Buck?” Steve asked, worried about his friend. Was he changing his mind about fatherhood? 

Bucky licked his lips. “I slept with her.” He explained. “We were hanging out, and next thing I know she’s on my lap, kissing me, her hands in my ha--”

“Whoa. I don’t need details.” Steve cut him off. “And who? We know a few women.”  It didn’t occur to him that he meant you. Steve didn’t think that there was any way that would happen. Not after how hard it was for you to move on. Yet, he couldn’t see Nat sleeping with him, either. Or Wanda for obvious reasons. 

“Y/N!” He leaned back in the chair he was sitting in, letting his head fall back. “Me and Y/N slept together.” He sighed. “Last week. I have no idea what this means. She hasn’t mentioned it since, and there’s been this awkward tension between us. What if she regrets it?!” He looked at Steve, clearly panicked. “What if this is too much and she’s changed her mind about wanting Dom knowing who I am?”

Steve stared at his friend, surprised. “For one, I highly doubt that she would do that.” He assured him. “Maybe she hasn’t mentioned it because you haven’t? Maybe she’s worried about the same things?” He suggested. “She may think that you regret it, Buck.” 

“But I don’t.” He said easily. “I forgot how much I like being with her, Steve. It just felt right. And it wasn’t like we rushed to get dressed and do the walk of shame, either. I got to stay all night. I got to fall asleep with her on my chest like before.” Bucky went on, letting himself open up and be vulnerable with Steve. “I still love her, and I don’t think I ever stopped. I think I just pushed it down because she was gone.” 

“Wow.” His face softened. “Do you think she’d go on a date with you? Maybe you should ask her out? See if you can start fresh.” While he’d remain protective of you and Dom no matter what happened, he also hoped that maybe his best friend could have the family he deserved. He hoped that you could raise your son with his father and have the life you one day pictured. It would be years late, but maybe that’s what the two of you needed to really know how much you loved each other. Did you still love him? He honestly couldn’t begin to guess. 

You remained quiet for a moment. Did you? Were those feelings you worked so hard to get over still there? You knew that you loved watching Bucky and Dom together. You knew that you were thankful to have him back in your life. Nat watched you, wondering what was going on in your mind. “I don’t think that you should act on it if you do.” She said finally. “He hurt you way too badly before. I don’t want him to have that chance again.” Her tone was gentle, but it was clear she was very firm in her opinion.

“We’re going to tell Dom who he is either way, Nat.” You said softly. “We decided that when we started planning his party. We’re going to have a ‘family dinner’ the night we get there and come clean.” You went on. “That’s why Bucky has been spending so much time with Dom.” 

“I know.” She reminded you. “You told me. Reminding me isn’t going to change how I feel about this. Am I glad that he’s stepped up? Yes. Do I think he deserves to be a father? No.”

Sitting up, you stared at her. “You don’t?” Bucky had been amazing with Dom! “Why not?” 

She raised an eyebrow at you like it was a stupid question. “What happens if he wakes up six months from now and once again doesn’t want anything to do with being a father? What if he walks away from you two again, but this time Dom knows? Dom would know his father abandoned him- for a second time. That would kill him!” The thought of Dom being hurt like that made her upset. 

You chewed on your lip. “I actually talked to Steve about that. When Bucky and I got back from the house. I told him what I was worried about. He says he can’t see Bucky doing that. I trust Steve, he knows Bucky better than most.” 

“You thought you knew him before and look what happened.” Nat countered. “You thought he’d be excited for a family, and instead he didn’t want anything to do with it.” She didn’t want you to trust Bucky with your heart, and Dom’s, just for him to just break them. “Besides, he might have just slept with you because it’s sex. It might have been nothing more than that. Do you really want to go to him wanting more just for him to turn you down because it was nothing to him?” 

“Gee. Thanks.” For some reason, her putting it like that hurt. It made you feel slightly used in her eyes. Getting up, you shook your head. “I’m gonna go take a hot shower and try to think this over.” Clearly coming to her wasn’t the good idea that you thought it was going to be. 

Nat sighed. “Don’t do that. Don’t make me the bad guy because you two couldn’t keep your clothes on.” She watched you move towards the door. 

You shot her a look before saying goodnight and walking out. While part of you understood where she was coming from, at the same time, part of you wanted to see what this meant. As you made your way to your room, you were on autopilot. Before you knew it, you were walking in your door, barely remembering much after leaving Nat’s. Your mind had been so damn sex-with-Bucky focused. 

Blinking, you let out a breath and shut the door, hoping that a hot shower would help. You couldn’t avoid the man forever. You lived with him, and he was your son’s father. “At least I got plan B.” You muttered, not wanting to add a second kid to that equation. No one needed that. Or to explain to everyone else . You could only imagine that conversation ‘hey, we fucked and we’re having another baby together, but we’re not together…’. Not awkward at all.  

Bucky left with Steve’s advice in mind. He was just worried that you wouldn’t want to go on a date because of the past. It wasn’t like he could suggest ‘starting over’. Having Dom made that pretty much impossible. “JARVIS, is Y/N awake?” He asked, simply standing in his kitchen. He was too awake to even attempt to try to sleep. 

“She is currently showering, shall I alert her that you are asking for her?” JARVIS replied easily. 

“Yeah, can you ask her if I can come by shortly?” They couldn’t let this go. The longer they went without talking about this, the more awkward things would become, and the harder this talk would be. He grabbed a bottle of water to sip while he waited for JARVIS to let him know if he could go see you. 

It was another ten minutes before JARVIS spoke again. “She says as long as you bring some ice cream.” 

Smiling to himself, he chuckled and nodded. “On my way.” He agreed. 

You had been surprised when you stepped out of the shower, just to have JARVIS let you know that Bucky wanted to come by. Did he think that you’d sleep with him again? Did he want to tell you that it was a mistake? Your mind went to every possible scenario. Finally, you were dressed, your hair was brushed, and you were waiting for him while you sat on the couch. Hearing his knock, you took a deep breath. “Come in!” You called out. 

Bucky walked in and held up the pint of ice cream. “I believe this was your request?” He teased you. 

“Shush.” You blushed as he handed it over, along with a spoon. He sat on the other end of the couch and watched you open the container. “So, you wanted to see me?” You asked shyly. 

“I thought we should talk about that night sooner rather than later.” He told you. “Don’t you?” 

Taking a bite of the ice cream, you nodded. “I went to talk to Nat. That didn’t go well.” You admitted. 

“Yeah, I went to talk to Stevie. I’m sure my conversation was better than yours.” He sighed. “Nat’s not my biggest fan.” It was old news and really didn’t bother him much anymore. They did what they had to for work, but that was about it. If there wasn’t a reason for them to be ‘nice’, they simply didn’t bother with the other. 

“No, she’s not.” You agreed. “In her mind I shouldn’t even give you a chance to be a father. I don’t agree with her at all about that, I promise.” You assured him quickly. “She’s thinking you might wake up in six months and change your mind. Basically shot down me pointing out that Steve knows you and knows you wouldn’t do that. Said that I thought I knew you and I didn’t.” You looked down, not wanting to make him feel bad, but still wanting to be honest about the chat the two of you had. “Mentioned you might have just slept with me because it’s sex, that it wasn’t anything more.” 

Bucky winced at that. “Thank you for believing in me.” He said softly. “I won’t ever change my mind. I want to be there for Dom.” His tone was firm, making you look at him. “I’ll always regret hurting you, and not being there for him for so long. I’ll spend the rest of my life being the father I should have been from day one.” He saw you tear up while giving him a small smile. “You didn’t know one part of me. Everything else you knew. You didn’t know that because I didn’t want you to. You loved me so completely. I didn’t want you knowing that all I saw when I looked in the mirror was a monster.” Hearing it all over stung. You’d never see him as that, so to know he did hurt. “Of course I liked the sex, but it wasn’t just that. I missed you.” He swallowed. “Not just that, either. The getting to hold you at night, too.” It was his turn to look down, looking shy. “Stevie said I should ask you on a date.” 

You chewed on your lip, thinking. “Counter offer?” You started. “Maybe...maybe we can just hang out here for now?” You suggested. If you went on a date, it would be everywhere. You weren’t ready for that just yet. Especially the way Nat would act after she saw. He looked at you. “Maybe just kinda date in secret for now? Just to see if ‘it’s’ still there?” You were nervous about suggesting this. What if he thought you were ashamed?! “We can have dinners here with Dom, or if he’s with one of the others, just us? Watch movies together?” 

His eyebrows shot up at that. “So, you’re not suggesting a single date? You want to get back together?” 

Your stomach was in knots. “We could try.” Your voice was barely above a whisper. “If we feel like it’ll really work, we can move past dating in secret and let other people know. If not, then we won’t have Nat on our assses.” You really didn’t want to make things worse between Nat and Bucky if things went south. “You can think about it if you want to.” 

Leaning forward, he kissed you softly. “Yes.”

Tagging:

@ilovetaquitosmmmm @vicmc624 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @sebastians-love @differenttyphoonwerewolf