#so much fun to write but also a little bit agonizing LOL

[covenofthearticulate]

Permission [AO3]

For #VCKinkWeek Day 3: Edging Armand/Louis | 6.5k Words | Explicit

“Always so needy, Louis.” Armand muses, leans his elbow on Louis’ knee and rests his head in one hand. “Yes, you are. You always have been. From the moment I met you. Starved for knowledge. Starved for love. Starved for blood. You hunger for things like no one else I know.��

Lestat had said as much, Louis recalls, over the years. But always in the form of accusations, always bolstered by brute force. Armand’s methods are more incisive. His words are a mirror, and though Louis can’t stand to see his own reflection, there is much less room for denial. Existence, for Louis, always hung in the balance between gluttony and denial. It’s an ever-waging war between the two, and when he loses, when he allows the hunger to cloud his mind, the worst part is, it still feels so good.

It’s easy to justify, when Lestat is beneath him and sobbing for it, when Armand is scratching at his back, begging him to go faster and harder. But this…this is different. This is for no one but himself.

This is Armand giving him permission to want it.

[winwintea]

eternally yours

PAIRING ↬ idol!winwin x idol!reader

TAGS ↬ fluff, romance, anniversary, marriage proposal, established relationship, idol au, winwin loves flowers, random sm trainee helps winwin sort his shit out, jaehyun deals magic potions because i said so, technically fantasy au for that, no explicit content but they get VERY intimate at the end, ww calls y/n 'good girl' once bc i'm me, my obsession with hands also seeps through...

SUMMARY ↬ roses are red, violets are blue, sicheng prepared 108 roses for your anniversary, what shall you do?

WORD COUNT ↬ 3.1k+

AUTHOR’S NOTE ↬ HAPPY WINWIN DAY. i have been working on this fic for a while only because i wanted it to be absolutely perfect. i don't think it's good enough yet, but i hold myself to a higher standard when writing fics for my favs. it's shorter than i wanted it to be too i'm sorry 😭😭 it's wayyy harder cause ww is my ult, but i hope i still do him the justice he deserves, his content is so scarce on here... also sherlisa is a sm trainee that i randomly included for fun lol. lowkey forgot about sm's new girl group until hybe brought it back up again. how is hybe more obsessed with sm groups than me?

SICHENG WAS OVERTHINKING THINGS.

He’d been working non-stop, but he couldn’t deny his mind had drifted—right to his anniversary with you. He’d overheard you talking with one of your friends about how excited you were, how much you were looking forward to it. He wanted to make it perfect, something that would make you happy. Dinner reservations were easy, but they didn’t feel like enough. Should he get a gift? Plan a whole day out? Come up with something else that might be truly memorable?

Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice when his bandmate, Kun walked in and took a seat across from him, observing him with a hint of amusement.

“Sicheng?”

Blinking, he looked up, a bit surprised to see Kun there. “Huh? Sorry, what did you say?”

Kun just laughed, shaking his head. “Not much. Just that it’s rare to see you this distracted unless you’re really deep in thought.”

“Yeah, maybe…” Sicheng rubbed the back of his neck, trying to brush it off. He didn’t want Kun reading too much into it.

“Lately, it’s like you’re in another world. Everything all right?”

“Yeah, of course…” Sicheng answered a little too quickly, trying to sound casual.

Kun just smirked at him. “You sure? I mean, there’s no comeback, no new schedules, and you’ve been back from China for a while. So the only thing I can think of is…Y/N.”

Sicheng let out a wry chuckle. Kun knew him too well. It was true; every free moment, his mind drifted back to you, to your anniversary, and to how he wanted to surprise you. He hadn’t expected one person could so easily take over his thoughts, filling him with the urge to make every moment with you special. “Alright, maybe you’re right,” he admitted, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “I just…want it to be perfect.”

“Why don’t you just ask her?” Kun pointed out. 

“I’ll try I guess.” Sicheng knew it was a bit silly, but he couldn’t deny how much he’d changed since meeting you. 

After wrapping up work, he headed home, the excitement building as he approached your room. Seeing you lying comfortably in bed, he slipped in quietly and sat beside you, gently brushing his fingers through your hair.

“Y/N…is there anything special you want to do for our anniversary?” He tried to keep his voice casual, hoping to hide just how much he’d been agonizing over it.

You looked up at him with a small smile. “Honestly? Just spending the weekend together sounds perfect. It’s been a while since we did that.” There was a slight hesitation in your voice, as if you didn’t want to ask for too much.

“You don’t have to hold back,” he said softly.

You shook your head, reassuring him, “I mean it, Sicheng. You’re always working so hard; I just want you to rest.”

Sicheng’s eyes softened. If there was ever a time for you to ask for anything, it was now, your anniversary of all days. Reaching out, he brushed the backs of his fingers along your cheek, your smile putting him more at ease. “Honestly? Seeing you smile is what makes me relax when I’m tired. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to make that happen.”

He thought back to when your relationship had first become public, some fans were supportive, some fans were not. The two of you saw some of your worst days, the only people to depend on for support was each other. But through it all, you’d both stayed strong, and now here you were, closer than ever.

“Besides, I can rest anytime,” he murmured, as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer.

You chuckled and leaned forward, planting a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Well, I’m really happy that I can help you relax.”

Seeing the happiness on your face, he made up his mind—he’d plan something extraordinary for your anniversary, something that would bring that same beautiful smile to your face, even if you hadn’t asked for it.

—

The next morning, as Sicheng watered his plants, he found himself lingering by the peonies, their delicate petals reminding him of you. Maybe a bouquet would be a sweet anniversary gift? It wasn’t flashy, but it was heartfelt, and he couldn’t help but picture the smile it might bring to your face. As he absentmindedly watered the flowers, his thoughts drifted back to last night. You’d tried to be considerate, downplaying any big celebration just so he could rest. But he wanted you to feel comfortable expressing what you really wanted, even if he had a surprise up his sleeve.

That afternoon, after another agonizing day at that entertainment company, Sicheng made his way to a cozy flower shop owned by a friend’s family. The warm, fragrant air and the sight of bright blossoms felt like a haven from his hectic schedule. A new part-timer greeted him. He immediately recognized her as the new Thai-Chinese female trainee Ten had introduced to her a while back. Sherlisa. That was her name. With a smile, she asked what he was looking for.

“You want a bouquet of roses?” she asked, a curious smile forming from her lips. “That’s a little unexpected.”

Sicheng nodded, almost shyly. Meeting someone from work outside of work hours was awkward for him, especially it being a 19 year old trainee. He was glad dispatch had laid off his back for a while, since he hadn’t seen anyone following him around lately. “It’s for our anniversary. I just… I want Y/N to know what she means to me.”

Her eyes sparkled mischievously. “Oh, so you mean you’re ready to tell her you’re madly in love?”

Sicheng chuckled, glancing down at the counter. It was more than that, though. His thoughts returned to you, the way you’d changed his life without even trying. "My life already belongs to her," he murmured softly, more to himself than anyone else.

When he looked up, Sherlisa’s jaw had dropped a bit. “Damn boy, I knew you were whipped, but I didn’t think you were that whipped. If you’re serious about what you just said then that’s pretty much a proposal.”

“A Proposal?” He’d been so absorbed in the idea of making you happy that he hadn’t considered that. But now that it was out there, the thought settled in his heart with unexpected warmth as he started reflecting over his feelings.

“You want to live your life for her, right?,” Sherlisa added knowingly. “So maybe… make it a bouquet she’ll never forget?”

He could only smile, the decision suddenly clear. “Yeah… you’re right.” Picturing you in his mind, his heart swelled with certainty. Yeah, that’s basically what he wanted to tell her, yes. Ever since the two of you became a couple, his feelings for you have just grown stronger inside of his heart. 

“Sherlisa,” he said, his voice steady and sure. “I need to change the number of roses in that bouquet.”

—

That night, Sicheng found himself outside your room again, his heart beating a little faster than usual as he knocked. 

You smiled at him as you opened the door. “What’s up, Sicheng?”

He cleared his throat, trying to keep his composure. “I wanted to invite you out on a date.”

Your eyes widened, a flush creeping up your cheeks. “A date?” You sounded a little surprised, and it was so endearing that he had to resist the urge to throw his arms around you right then and there.

“Yeah… how about this? We’ll meet in front of SME on our anniversary, and then head somewhere special.” He hadn’t worked out every detail yet, but he had some ideas—something that would make this a night to remember.

“That sounds amazing,” you replied, a bit of hesitation still in your voice. “But… are you sure you’re not too busy?”

He gave you a gentle pat on the head, watching as your smile softened. “Don’t worry. I’ve made sure there’s nothing that could keep me from you that day.”

“All right, then! I’m excited already,” you said, beaming up at him. But, truth be told, it was him who could hardly contain his anticipation.

Leaning in close, he brushed his lips near your ear, his voice dropping to a warm murmur. “And make sure you don’t have any other plans that night, either.”

“O-Of course,” you stammered, your cheeks turning even pinker. Despite how long you two had been together, his spontaneous displays of affection always seemed to catch you off guard.

He smiled, brushing his lips over your flushed cheek in a quick, sweet kiss. “Good night, Y/N,” he whispered, pulling back reluctantly. As he turned to leave, a rush of excitement filled him, and he couldn’t help feeling excited about your anniversary already.

—

The next night, Sicheng made his way to a quiet pub tucked away from the bustling city. It was the kind of place he only went to for close friends— and this one he hadn’t seen in a while. As he entered, he spotted Jaehyun already waiting at the bar, nursing a drink and giving him a casual nod.

“Thanks for meeting me,” Sicheng said, sliding onto the seat beside him.

Jaehyun chuckled. “Anytime. Besides, I needed a night out myself.” He reached into his bag and handed Sicheng a small, glass vial filled with a clear, shimmering liquid. “Here’s the…potion, chemical—whatever you want to call it. If you put it on the flowers, they’ll stay fresh and won’t wilt forever.”

Sicheng took the vial, a wave of relief washing over him. “Thanks, Jae. Really.”

Jaehyun glanced at him curiously, eyebrows raised. “I’ve gotta ask…what’s with the magical flower potion request? You’re usually not the type to go all out on that kind of thing.”

Sicheng hesitated for a moment before taking a steadying breath. “I’m going to propose. To Y/N.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened, nearly spilling his drink. “Propose? As in, marry?” He was definitely shocked, but within seconds, a smile spread across his face. “Sicheng, that’s amazing! I didn’t know you were thinking about it. Congratulations, man!”

Sicheng couldn’t help but smile back, the nerves mixing with excitement in his chest. “Thanks. I’ve thought it over so much lately. And this just…feels right.”

Jaehyun laughed, patting him on the back. “I always thought you’d be one of the last guys in our group to settle down, but it looks like love changes people.” He shook his head, looking impressed. “She must be really special.”

“She is,” Sicheng replied softly, picturing you in his mind. “She’s been with me through everything—the highs and the lows. She’s the one person I want by my side, no matter what.”

Jaehyun raised his glass with a warm smile. “Then here’s to you, man. And to Y/N. May she say yes and make you the happiest guy in the world.”

Sicheng lifted his own glass, clinking it with Jaehyun���s. “Here’s to hoping.”

As they drank, Sicheng felt a new sense of confidence settling over him. The night was filled with laughter, memories, and stories of the past. He had never imagined that his friends would be this supportive during one of the biggest moments of his life, and Jaehyun’s unwavering encouragement made him feel more ready than ever for the step he was about to take.

With renewed determination, he tucked the vial carefully into his pocket, knowing it would be the final touch to make his proposal perfect.

—

It was finally here—your anniversary. Sicheng’s heart raced the entire evening, each little detail of your date building up to this moment. Dinner had been perfect, and when you’d discovered that new cafe for dessert, your face lit up with excitement, making him feel like he’d already succeeded. But the real surprise was waiting back home.

“That dessert was amazing,” you said, still smiling as you unlocked the door.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he replied, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice.

As you stepped inside and turned on the lights, you froze, eyes going wide at the sight of a massive bouquet of roses waiting for you on the table. “Oh my gosh!” you gasped, looking between the flowers and Sicheng with an expression of pure delight. “There are so many!”

Sicheng couldn’t help but smile; you were reacting exactly as he’d imagined, if not better. He stepped forward, picking up the bouquet, the roses almost spilling out of his arms. “Today’s the anniversary of the day we became a couple.”

“Yes…” You looked up at him, eyes softening as a sentimental smile crossed your face.

He took a deep breath, his heart pounding. He had been thinking about this moment for days now, planning and preparing. This was it. “Did you know that giving someone 108 roses means asking them, ‘Will you marry me?’”

Your smile faded as you froze, eyes widening even more as you processed what he’d just said.

“I love you so much it makes me crazy,” he continued, his voice filled with emotion. “Since the day I met you, everything I do has been about making you happy. Being with you… it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.” He held out the bouquet which was practically overflowing from his arms, his voice soft yet steady. “So, will you accept this and say yes?”

Tears sparkled in your eyes as you reached out, fingers slightly trembling. “Yes, of course!” You took the bouquet from him, clutching it close to your chest, your smile radiant with joy.

Your eyes shimmered with tears, and Sicheng felt his heart swell. This was exactly the reaction he’d hoped for—a sign that you felt the depth of his love.

You lifted the bouquet, inhaling the sweet fragrance. “They’re gorgeous, and they smell amazing… I wish I could keep them forever, so I’d always remember this day.”

He smiled, feeling the joy bubbling inside him. “You can.”

Your eyes widened, puzzled. “What do you mean?”

He chuckled softly. “Those roses were treated with a special potion to keep them from wilting. They’ll stay just as beautiful… forever.”

“Wait, seriously?” You gasped, looking back at the bouquet with a mixture of wonder and disbelief. Almost like a kid in a toy store. “So they’ll stay like this, and I can keep them forever?”

“Yes.” Your cheeks slowly turned the same deep pink as the rose petals, and he took a step closer, cupping your face in his hands. “You sacrificed so much just to be with me,” he said, his voice tender. “I want to make all your dreams come true, no matter how small they are. Even if you wish for something as simple as a flower, I want to give it to you. I want to give you everything.”

You gazed up at him, emotions swirling in your tear-filled eyes. “Sicheng…”

“I want to spend the rest of my life making up for anything you’ve lost,” he whispered. “Because you’re the person I’ve been searching for all along. And I want to stay by your side forever, just so I can remind you every day how much I love you.”

He pulled you gently into his arms, holding you close. Your head rested against his chest, and he could feel the warmth of your embrace, the quiet joy that had always connected you two. 

Sicheng felt as if his heart might burst. He gently cupped your face, his eyes filled with a sincerity that spoke louder than words. "I love you more than anyone in the entire world,” he murmured. It was rare for him to voice his feelings so openly, but tonight, they poured out effortlessly, the depth of his love shining through in every word.

A warm smile spread across your face, and you whispered, “I love you too, Sicheng. So please… stay with me forever.”

“Of course I will,” he replied softly, his gaze steady. 

As you gazed into each other’s eyes, you felt the air grow thicker with a shared warmth. Unable to resist any longer, he leaned in, pressing his lips softly against yours. The kiss was gentle but full of promises, and when he pulled back, he took the bouquet from your arms, setting it carefully on the table.

Without a word, he swept you up into his arms, drawing a startled laugh from you. “Sicheng?” you whispered, cheeks flushed.

He grinned, feeling a sense of boldness he rarely indulged. “I want to see your smile from closer up.” Your scent drifted up to him, light and sweet like the roses you’d been holding, and he couldn’t help but lean in, nuzzling his nose against your cheek.

Your cheeks turned pink, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. “O-Okay…”

“Good girl,” he whispered, feeling your heart beating wildly against him as he carried you to the bed. As he gently lowered you down, you hesitated, fingers slowly releasing their hold on his neck. He brushed a soft kiss on your cheek, his fingertips trailing over your face and down to your lips.

He leaned in, voice barely above a whisper. “I want to see you the happiest you’ve ever been.” His fingers caressed your cheek, moving to your slightly parted lips. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it for you.”

You gazed up at him, your breath warm on his cheek. “You’ll do anything?” you murmured, an unmistakable glint of joy in your eyes.

“Yes,” he replied, his voice filled with certainty. “Name it.”

Your eyes dipped down shyly, and after a brief moment, you said softly, “Okay… I want you to stroke my hair.”

A soft chuckle escaped him, and he nodded, his fingers gently combing through your hair. You closed your eyes, your expression melting into one of pure happiness. “Your hands… they’re so big and gentle,” you whispered, your voice almost dreamlike. “I love them.”

He smiled, his heart swelling. “I’m glad to hear that.” He continued to run his fingers through your hair, brushing a tender kiss on your forehead. “Anything else?”

You looked up at him, your gaze softened with affection. “I want you to kiss me…”

His lips curved into a warm smile, and he leaned down, his mouth finding yours in a tender, lingering kiss. The world faded away, leaving only the two of you in this perfect, quiet moment, wrapped up in each other. He kissed you again, and again, savoring each touch, feeling his love deepen with every brush of his lips against yours. Your breath hitched, and he could feel the echo of his heartbeat mirrored in you.

He was yours, eternally yours. He’d spend his life by your side, sharing each joy, every little moment, every kiss, forever and always.

PERM TAGLIST ↬ @lyvhie @aquaphoenixz @galacticnct @ldh0000 @peterm4rker

[fairytales-and-folklore]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @marimbles! ♥️ No pressure tags: @litfeathers @lollytea @ashanimus @greyhavenisback @princecharmingwinks @tails89 @nutellarghh @ash-mcj @childlikegoblinqueen @daydreams-and-honeybees @avatarmerida @asarcasticwitch @sailahina @secretly-of-course @sapphic--kiwi @haystarlight @zyrafowe-sny @peachytea04 @slightecho

1. How many works do you have on AO3? just hit 100 last month!

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 479,814

3. What fandoms do you write for? I've dabbled in quite a few over the years, but the ones I've written the most fics for are doctor who (eleven/amy) teen wolf (sterek) and the owl house (huntlow)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Error 404: Brain Cell Not Found (teen wolf | sterek) You Always Want What You're Running From (sleepy hollow | ichabbie) What To Do When Your Emotionally Constipated Werewolf Boyfriend Gets Cursed By A Witch: A Guide (teen wolf | sterek) Gold Rush (the owl house | huntlow) Lovesick (the owl house | huntlow) 5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do! Every kind comment means so much to me, so I always take the time to respond to all of them (though I'm not always great at getting to them on time.)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm probably The Courtesan and the Writer (doctor who | eleven/amy) I used to dabble in angst a bit more when I first started writing fic, but these days all my fics are pretty much guaranteed to have a happy ending, because real life is hard enough lol

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Pretty much all my fics have happy endings, but one of the happiest I wrote would probably be my huntlow college AU Until You Meet Someone Who Makes The Fall Feel Like Flying

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I wouldn't call it outright hate, but I have gotten a handful of rude comments over the years (complaining that I don't post often enough, telling me my headcanons are wrong, telling me how they think my story should have ended — one time someone yelled at me in all caps because I said that a character chilled red wine lol that one was wild)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! Smut is fun. Mine is typically more focused on the emotional aspect than the physical, is usually the result of a long tension-fueled slow burn buildup, and is usually tooth-rottingly fluffy, soft, and sweet.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I have! Back in the days where superwholock plagued tumblr, I wrote one of the silliest cross-overs imaginable, combining doctor who, torchwood, bbc sherlock, supernatural, the avengers, and sleepy hollow: Lords, Gods, and Madmen

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup 🙃

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! But most of them never saw the light of day 😂 one that did is called An Eggcellent Morning For Cooking Lessons co-written with @ash-mcj @tails89 and @nutellarghh

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I think my top three ships are reflected in who I've written the most fic for: huntlow, sterek, and the eleventh doctor/amy pond

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Luckily, everything that's posted to AO3 is finished, but at this point I'm thinking I'll probably never get around to writing the little nightmares, reylo, and captain swan WIPs I've had sitting in my drafts since 2019

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I capture the characters really well, which means a lot to me. I've also been told that my writing is cozy and comforting and fills people with warm fuzzy feelings, which is always nice to hear 🥰

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I will sit there and agonize over the same paragraph trying to make it sound perfect instead of just letting the writing flow, so sometimes a fic will be in the works for a very long time until it's finally ready to be posted (by which time I'm probably sick of it and never want to look at it again 😂)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've dabbled in this a little bit, but it's usually been plot-relevant, like a character learning to speak the language (i.e. when Hunter tried to learn Spanish in Being Human.) When I do write in another language, I always do my best to research and try to get the translations as accurate as possible, and I always include the English translation either in the fic itself or as an author's note so readers don't have to break away from my fic to google anything. (And also so that they know what my intention was, on the off-chance I translated something wrong and accidentally wrote something offensive.) 19. First fandom you wrote for?

Does anyone remember that vampire show that came out back in like 2009? Moonlight? Yeah, that one lol

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? God, that's like asking me to pick my favorite child. Okay fine, it's Until You Meet Someone Who Makes The Fall Feel Like Flying

[usmsgutterson]

The Fire That Burns Within- N.L x fem! reader Chapter Ten

Masterlist

Okay!! This is the second-last chapter before the epilogue.  I finished writing this after a couple of days of demotivation off of the dopamine from hitting word goals coupled with a several hour writing sprint, and it’s been fun! My writing process when it comes to series is generally a little chaotic outside of single-part fics and this fic wasn’t exempt from the chaos lol. Thank you for coming on this chaotic ride with me, I hope you’ve had as much fun as I have. 

On another note, I’ve been chipping away at requests this week and one should come out by sunday, at the latest. My requests also open a week from tomorrow and a whole lot of stuff is happening with the blog this june, so yeah! It’s been a busy while witg everything going on and if you still have a request you’re waiting for and haven’t given up on me yet, thank you!! 

Fic type- bittersweet fluff

Warnings- mentions of death

Weeks flew by in what felt like a matter of days, and the next thing you knew, you were face to face with Nikolai, taking in the scars on his hands, the coldness that had found a place in his touch.

"And you're all right?" You asked.

"I’m fine, gorgeous," Nikolai said with a nod. "You weren't worried, were you?"

The time in between the attack on the Spinning Wheel and where you stood, in the Unsea, had been very annoying. You were worried about the guy you had claimed to hate until Tolya drunkenly pointed out that love and hatred were sometimes so similar that they could feel like the exact same thing. You'd wanted to kill him in that moment, but after a lot of thinking, you realized he was right.

Somewhere along the line--probably the night he'd talked you down after you had barely managed to explain that the world was terrifyingly quiet, or maybe a day or two before amidst your bickering--you had stopped hating him, started to fall in love, and the emotions surrounding the Darklings having infected Nikolai with merzost had only made it more intense.

You'd agonized over Nikolai constantly in the preparation for the battle. You had missed him and it was hurting like hell. In the time spent missing the guy you realized you loved at the worst time, you realized how terrible it was indeed to realize you loved someone when they could've either been dead or thousands of miles away. It was terrible when they were so far out of reach it was almost impossible to fathom.

"I wanted you to be alive in the very least," you said. Nikolai grinned.

"Alina told me about it when she tried to burn the merzost away," he said. "You, agonizing over where I was, yearning to hear the sound of my voice? Perhaps even the press of my lips, she'd said. According to her, you were acting like a woman who's husband had died at sea. She reflected on it humorously, but it brought me back down to earth for a bit. Thank you."

"I did not--" you cut yourself off. You had been acting like you'd lost someone important, and there was absolutely no point in denying that in front of the reason you had been acting as you did. "I did want to hear your voice. I missed our bickering, but the press of your lips? If I wanted to kiss you at all at the Spinning Wheel, I would've asked."

You'd wanted to kiss him the night he'd helped you away from a panic attack, but you had not. You supposed it made your words a lie, but as you gazed at him--at his perfect eyes and the perfect hair that managed to look like lightened molten gold in the sun--you decided it was fine.

"You can kiss me whenever you want," Nikolai said. "All you need to do is say the word."

You scoffed. "Buy me a proper dinner first, Lantsov."

Nikolai laughed. Your heart gave a funny little jump. "As any decent man would," he said. "Tonight. If you find yourself with Tamar and Tolya when the Darklings corpse is burned, come by the tents after. We'll eat and talk."

"We're talking as it is, are we not?"

"There are other objects of importance that need discussing," he hummed. "Away from the ears of the sun summoners that the destruction of the Fold has created."

You gave a nod and left, missing the feel of his hand in yours as you walked away in search of Genya. - "The tailors did a scarily wonderful job," Alina said, shuddering slightly. Her hair was twinged a red similar to Genyas hair, likely taken from rooster feather. "That actually looks like me, white hair and all."

"Yeah," you said with a nod. "Tailors and their abilities frighten me sometimes. Really does look like you died next to him."

"You could leave Ravka if you got one of them to tailor you," Alina suggested. "If you still want to go like you did two months back, anyway."

"I've thought about it," you admitted. "Getting Genya or someone else to tailor me to look different, booking a boat ticket, and then leaving, but it's not that easy. Nik mentioned that there was something he wanted to discuss in private, and part of me does have to assume it's about whether I will stay or leave. I like to think my decision is made."

"Nik?" Alina asked with mischevious grin. "You call the prince Nik now, do you?"

"Apparently so," you said. "It's not worse than the fact that you told him I wanted to kiss him, or that it seemed like I missed his voice."

"You were acting like a widowed wife," Alina said pointedly. "You might've hated him at first, but you've come to like him, in the very least, since you first showed at the Spinning Wheel. It's fine if you do feel romantically inclined toward him. I thought I did once."

"It's the hair," you said with a laugh.

"And the smirk," Alina said with a nod. "And the charms that even you fell for."

The two of you stayed at the pyre for a long while, just watching it burn. You had grabbed your flint at one point, pushed the flames back in when they got too close for comfort. You and Alina listened idly to the joyous shouts, to the sound of violins and the barks of laughter as people rejoiced and danced until sunset fell, when you turned to bid her goodbye.

"Promise me you won't set him on fire when you two have your discussion?" Alina asked. You laughed.

"I make no promises," you hummed. "I rather think that the blond would look good if it were a bit charred around the edges, no?"

Alina snorted. "It might just, but try to make sure that it frames his face decently, or your efforts will have been for nothing," she let you go, gave you a grin. "If you become Queen like Mal has begun to think you will, you will make a better queen than any of the ones who came before. It was an honor to fight the war by your side."

"This from the bloody sun saint?" You asked, grin prickling the edges of your lips. "It was an honor of mine, Alina. I hope that, whatever life you settle into, it's good. I hope that it is as ordinary as you had hoped it would be from the very start."

"The love I feel for Mal is anything but," she said, looking over your shoulder. You turned in time to catch Mal, a grin on his face as he approached. "But our life will be as ordinary as we want it to be."

"Very ordinary indeed," Mal said with a nod. You clapped him on the shoulder as you walked away, turning your back on the only girl strong enough to kill the Darkling.

Zoya found you as you walked, looped her elbow through yours, and you let yourself grin.

You had not been so content in so long. It was a feeling you had missed.

[astrxlfinale]

Wanted to give this a spin when I saw it on the dash! Less imagery though, and more me writing out the thoughts. So let's dive into it!

Will get a wee bit lengthy. So under a read more it goes.

1.

A character that got me into Star Rail was genuinely the Trailblazer themselves. I think anyone who's come to know me is not surprised AT ALL with this once interacting with me. There's a shared energy I love making full use of, reveling in their share of chaos, their certainties and their comical doubts. Just the way they wholly dive into the experience is a quality I can relate in enjoying myself.

Not to mention I'm just a fan of their design in general. Even if it looks like they're ~somewhat~ cosplaying the Express itself, all of the golds and blacks really compliment their set up.

2.

In this game it feels like a main is harder to come by, since I'd primarily need me a gang to get things knocked out. Though! If there's a character I've pinned a lot of commitment into, it'd be Firefly! Holding her at E1S1 and been spending the whole of 2.3 burning up TB power at her domain. I've really come to enjoy the Oppressive playstyle of just having enemies not do jack shit. Cutting through defenses, playing around with the high speed to boot.

It's playstyle that's suffocating on opposition and that's how I want it. After getting stunned, DoTted, blown up, one shot wiped. Finally I can have an effective means to supply that same hell onto my enemies. So working to the point of cracking open a high pivotal damage point is fun to me, it rings familiar to RPGs like Octopath Traveler that also had it's own break mechanics.

3.

As for a character I come to love? I think I might've answered that accidentally on number one. LOL. I'm a full on Trailblazer fan here! Characters like them feel a little hard to come by in this era where Nonchalance is revered and hailed supreme. So characters that can showcase passion? I'm absolutely all for.

4.

Dr.Ratio. While I love the pointed passion, dealing with someone like that would genuinely be agonizing for me to deal with. It'd just be the condescending note that would honestly, make me want to tell him to fuck off. Then again I'd have no doubt that arrangement would be just fine with the both of us.

5.

I really want to get Silver Wolf onto my teams! Though, I've heard that not having that starter Light cone would make the curve of getting her improved more of a genuine hell. I'd be willing to work on that struggle, especially if it means I can find my 'cheat code' around weakness types. Playing the game made me learn just how much more tanky enemies are if they don't have the specified weaknesses on them.

Not just in breaking (which adds more vulnerability.) I'm literally doing 20% less damage, and I'm nowhere close to the point of nuts artifacts where brute forcing becomes a viable option.

6.

I believe Gallagher has the closest example to my eye color. (Mines is brown.)

7.

Dan Heng! (I have black hair.)

8.

Honestly? I don't think any of these characters share a solid match of personality for me. Similarities for running around with chaotic thoughts with the TB can be shared, but as it stands I'm too laidback. I do share Qinque's MO for wanting to make work related lifestyles as amicable and amendable as possible. Just enough, never above and beyond, especially when you're aware of the field you're in.

9.

For the time being right now. I'm saving for a Silver Wolf rerun, though, I will admittedly try my luck on Feixiao. That depends on if their kit appeases me however, gotta see how flexible it is with the balance of characters I have. (I know I'ma need another Harmony at this point. Robin may on the rerun radar as well depending on how Feixiao works.)

10.

Firefly! From the shade of dual hair colors, the sunset eyes to the way that energized spirit green can shine within them. There's a lot of her features that brings plenty of appeal to the table. I love how her outfit works like the prismatic wings of either an insect or a fairy, also giving off that appeal similar to stained glass despite being cloth. A lot of it just mesh to be a joy to the eyes and in kind, how it can work with either shades of fire she utilizes.

Not to mention the SAM unit itself! Human sized Mecha (or close to it) can easily win some appeal points for me. The way it operates as armor, and plays upon the concept of ignition for fierce strikes and high momentum just feels into the value of momentum, which is another big plus for me. There's also that dichotomy between the form, which adds a charm point when you see those respective 'modes' shine through to what she's externally showing.

11.

Destruction!

Characters who thrive in the fight, risking damage and turning that struggle into strength through various means will always speak to the fiery side of my soul. The gameplay style where you're balancing that vitality as much as your enemies are working to deplete is interesting to me. I love that measure of control, and how the enemy has to deal with me on multiple fronts as much as I have to deal with them.

Part of me wishes they'd come to do a mini rework on the Destruction TB for this reason. With their healing factor being only outside of battle, and how there isn't much usage for sacrificing high vitality for empowerment, it leaves a lot to be desired when you catch an eye on more modern units.

12.

Imaginary! Primarily for the creation appeal that many of the characters utilize with it. It's an Element that really highlights the creativity of a character, and gets them to really show off what they can literally bring to reality when given the chance. I for one, will always come to recognize the appeal they bring to the table with that.

[tiredassmage]

If you were going to a worldwide fandom meet, and were to present one fanfic you wrote, as a means to introduce yourself to the other fanfic writers, which fanfic will you recommend?

[sending this to as many fic writers i can send to, please know that it is optional to answer or not, thank you for reading this ask 💖]

aaaaaaaaaiiiieeee????!!! First of all, thank you, I am flattered! Even if this is like one of the most agonizing questions ever, lmao. And this is... god, a question with such a shifting answer because it's like... what is my favorite of what I've written? But also, sort of stepping back from that, what is... I guess one of the most thorough examples of... what I love and what I tend to explore?

I'm... realizing I guess what I like to write is... I guess what you'd call character studies?

And if you'll allow me a slight splurge, I will say I am still pretty pleased with both works I wrote for my Far Cry 5 era. They're a bit older, but it reflects a time where I was really invested in my character - in that case my Deputy. And I didn't ever write all of what I had in my head about him and his relationships, but it's a time I remember so fondly and while it's not a community I was super involved in, I had some really touching interactions that were so encouraging for producing those pieces and the community was filled with just... such inspiring talent and passion for their characters and the game. Which, fun fact, I did have a little bit of a jaunt back through the tag maybe like a week ago? I'm on the precipice of like a possible relapse lkanlfksdnf, but it seems that is still going pretty strong around the game and that's just. really beautiful to see.

Anyway, I think... I'd have to go with imbalance. Which I... seriously need to get around to putting on AO3 as well. It's... an interesting choice I feel because it's... not at all Tyr's... usual or genuine presentation which you do certainly get more out of if you've seen more of my work with him and you're somewhat familiar with SWTOR and the Imperial Agent campaign, but it is one of the pieces I still have that really precious joy for because it's an angle of Tyr I don't traditionally explore. I... usually circle around often to saying one of Tyr's important traits to me is still... so much that he's... more idealistic than his work might suggest. He cares so much more deeply than his profession might usually imply at a glance. And it's interesting still to see where those divides are because he's also relatively aware of the kind of web he's in, the kind of game that he's a pawn of, and imbalance gets into a bit more of that Cipher Nine aspect of him.

I really enjoy the way I tried to portray the sort of... disconnect between his experiences under the Castellans and his usual modus operandi, that divide between more pure training and calculation and the heart and the drive and the ideals that guide his decisions. The way the Castellans effect him, what it... felt like. And, ultimately, what's valuable to him - even cutting a little at how Tyr is, at his core, incredibly self-sacrificial. He leaves not even so much disappointed in his lack of answers for himself, but... with a shame and frustration of how many others? How many others will suffer for his inaction? It's still up there as one of my favorite things I've ever written and it is, of course, featuring my Blorbo of All Time, so kdanflsd that feels like important information, lol.

Thank you again so, so much for this. This was really fun to ponder over for a bit and revisit some of my 'older' pieces and enjoy them again. <3

[glowingvenus]

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

I was tagged by @supermonkeyball 💕and I'll tag... hmm... @kwockwoc if you feel like it? or, yknow, anyone who wants to steal

How many words have you written this year? I am only gonna count my published word count on ao3... 93,134. Excellent in terms of my personal numerology 👀

How many works did you publish this year? 15

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? Shattered Pieces Shine... though I'm hesitant to let myself be proud of it when it's still in its infancy haha

What work of yours has the most hits? SPS natch

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? Double Touch... only one short chapter out and there's 13 comments, wowie 💕 no idea how that happened!

Favorite title you used? I do make myself giggle with Double Touch...

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? I don't really use song lyrics much, but I'll give Chungha a shout out for providing the title of SPS lol. The song is otherwise completely irrelevant but that was a nice phrase

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Nichoji of course 💕

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? ...Nichoji of course 💕 but i did enjoy exploring other pairings too and plan to do much more in the future

What work was the quickest to write? Several of the Nutvember pieces were written in a short time, but in terms of WPM I feel like Pas de Deux takes the crown. I did not sleep that night... but I did let the spirit of ballerina porn possess me. A similar thing happened with Complicated

What work took you the longest to write? I've definitely spent the most time agonizing over SPS and that will continue over the next several months-year lol

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? 3 so far, and many more planned...

What’s your longest work of the year? SPS ✌️ (41,055 words and many more to go)

What’s your shortest work of the year? Complicated 🥪 (1,073 words)

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? SPS, Double Touch, and (unnamed fencing freaky friday fic)

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? it's a tie between pining, light bondage, and PWP. wow... what a revelatory question...

Your favorite character to write this year? TBH I had a ton of fun with Carmen Cox and Pamela Coste (my interpretation of Nicholas's and Jesse's moms)

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? Dante was a bit tricky, but I'm looking forward to revisiting him 😊

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? I have a few surprises planned that I don't want to spoil. But for sure planning to tackle Haiden and... Bobby/Dante pls get a decent ship name!

Which work of yours have you reread the most? SPS wins solely by virtue of being an ongoing work that I have to reference. Second place goes to Pas de Deux... due to being written all in one night, in a bout of insomnia, it sometimes feels like someone else wrote it lol

How many kudos in total did you get this year? 279 ❤️

Which work has the most comments? SPS sweep. It has 99. I look forward to someone claiming spot #100 when the next chapter drops

Did you do any collaborative works this year? to quote saav verbatim, "melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway) was a telephone fic with some friends in the Fence discord!"

Did you write any gifts this year? I didn't mark it as a gift but I guess "you make me forget" counts. At least i can say it was born of love and inspiration from starwritess's beautiful Hummingbirds series. I also wrote a little gift ficlet for inagartenforever that may see the light of day one day.

Did you receive any gifts this year? literally today I woke up to one from starwritess. My first gift fic ever ❤️ and it's wonderful

What’s your most common category? M/M... I don't know how we got here (dyke sigh)

What do you listen to while writing? NOTHINGGGG i need absolute silence. This is the main obstacle I face as a writer 😭

Favorite work you wrote this year? SPS is the obvious answer butttt I just really like the little world I've created and I'm so excited to keep expanding it

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? you're asking me to remember the shit that I've written...? Well a few ppl have said they enjoyed the blowjob scene in SPS ch7 so I'll go with that. I think it was one of the better executed sex scenes?

Biggest surprise while writing this year? the fact that I'm writing at all tbqh. I did not expect to fall so hard for Fence, or to write fic for it, or to explore so many ideas for it. My previous writing habits were... extremely sparse. But this year has really unlocked something in me and I'm so grateful for the Fence community and the new friends I've met through it ❤️

[bisexualshakespeare]

BTS: I’ll write a DVD commentary about my personal favorite passage from Harvest Festival series :D

Question from this post

I think I'll do the part in Eckleberry Pie where Graydon goes to find Boorman to apologize

Boorman wasn’t far. Graydon found him downstairs in the dining hall, eating a piece of pie and sweet talking one of the maids cleaning up.

“Effie,” He said when Graydon sat next to him. “This is my friend. The pouty one that I left to check up on, causing me to nearly miss your fantastic eckleberry pie. Obviously shouldn’t have done that.”

originally this was blackberry pie because I love blackberries and didn't want Boorman to be drinking. Sometimes around when I was finishing I remembered Elora's task to grow an Eckleberry bush and thought that would be a fun call back. Also a bit of a callback to sad-angry-frown-prince

Effie smiled at Graydon, glanced at Boorman, and shook her head fondly.

I remember I agonized over Effie so hard. I was like 'what does she sound like? does she like boorman? is she bothered by him? what are they gonna talk about?' before I was like ok this is just an excuse to get them to fuck. she doesn't need to have extensive character motivations, she can just walk away 😆

Graydon cleared his throat as she retreated. “So. Thank you, first of all, for checking on me. That was nice of you to think of me.”

“You’re welcome.” Boorman said with his mouth full. Boorman talked a lot with his mouth full. Graydon was pretty used to it by now.

Sometimes when I'm trying to keep my mindset in canon, I will just reference things in canon to remind me I'm okay? This is me being like 'yeah you're writing boorman right. remember when he talked while eating the probably-not-men-who-were-turned-into-pigs at nockmaar? you're doing great' lol

“I admit I was a little harsh before. I was upset and kind of mad at myself and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I hope I didn’t offend you or make you feel like you weren’t wanted.”

Boorman straightened a little. “I wasn’t offended.”

Graydon slowly put a hand on Boorman’s arm. “Because you are wanted.”

a couple people in the comments have said this is surprisingly smooth for Graydon? I honestly was just trying to be like 'boorman is not a substitute for elora! graydon's not using him! i want to be clear here!' this is me waving my hands around

Boorman looked at him with surprise, and with berries in his beard. Graydon couldn’t believe he was going to have his first time with this huge goober. Then again, that huge goober was kind of his best friend.

Boorman is great but he is without a doubt the grossest of the group. He drank spoiled wine at nockmaar, ate the worms at the shattered sea fishery. I have no doubt that if he was in his feels about being rejected he would eat half a pie no problem. I don't know how much I was thinking about it as I was writing it, but in hindsight I think I wrote Boorman as having a crush on Graydon prior to the fic. Even if he didn't, I think he's a dramatic enough person to use any excuse to cry into dessert.

Boorman patted his face with a napkin in an attempt at nonchalance. “So what changed your mind?”

Remember when this said non nonchalance and we were both confused? lol

Graydon winced. “You know that consummating you mentioned? I kinda ran into it in the showers.”

Boorman gasped. “In public? Elora Danan’s not as vanilla as I thought.”

Graydon's mind briefly went to the marks he briefly saw beneath the robe.

I am just now noticing I put briefly twice in the same sentence. damn i was distracted thinking about elora in only a robe lol

He shook his head. “But also, you know, I’ve never done anything before. If you were interested, it would be nice to have someone-”

“So handsome and experienced in the art of love making?”

“I was gonna say, someone I really care about.” He smiled a little.

Graydon's just so sincere and sweet and truthful! and also can you tell I really REALLY wanted it to be clear he liked Boorman and this wasn't just a rebound?? That's literally all this scene was written for! if I didn't care about that, Boorman would've just been in the room when Graydon came back and they would've immediately started fucking. Which now that I mention it is basically what happened in Lightning Strike 😂

Boorman brushed a lock of hair from his face. “Well I’ll have to think about it while I finish my pie.”

“Of course.”

Boorman picked up the plate and poured the rest of the pie into his mouth.

“Alright, let’s go.” Boorman grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the hall as Graydon shrieked with laughter.

This is the funniest image to me! It feels so right for Boorman to be like 'well i'll save face' and then immediately not. I don't know if "shrieked" is the right word for how the actor would actually laugh in response to this but it is how *I* laughed so it went in! 😂

Thanks for asking! 😘

[figminxr]

July 29 2023*

*posted August 8 2023 because I put this in my drafts and forgot about it lol

OK - this is going to mark the occasion of my First Realistic Devlog. That being - one where I actually record some of the more tedious aspects of my job (graphic design) + deeper thoughts about it. (It's not ACTUALLY all playing with holograms!)

Luckily, I have a secret passion in that I really, really love graphic design. It's one of the most powerful forms of art, which is why so many billions are spent on advertisement each year. It's scary powerful, is proven to influence the way we THINK (propaganda is graphic design), and reminds me why it's so important to Touch Grass every once and awhile.

ANYWAYS. My task right now is to 1) Make new brush icons, 2) Make new brush names, and 3) To write actual, helpful descriptions of what each brush does.

This is to make the app more accessible for non-artists! I want the "art" section of Figmin to be as fun-to-use and nonthreatening as Kid Pix. Figmin already does wonders for bringing out people's inner, creative child, (it's REAL HOLOGRAMS YOU CAN TOUCH. LIKE?!?) -- there are still some genuinely confusing bits of the Tilt Brush section that daunt the average, less art-program savvy person. For example, take this brush called Lofted:

What does this image, combined with the name "Lofted" even MEAN?!? What is a "Toon Tube"?! What is SUPERCOLOR???

Lots of icons are good and actually intuitive (Image from this article):

Others are a little.... less so. (Why are "Wire" and "Light Wire" VASTLY different brushes?! What is "Toon" supposed to be??? It makes 3D tubes with black outlines and is UGLY. I literally never use it. There is "Toon" discourse among Tilt Brush artists.)

Doing hundreds of public demos really taught me about what people liked... and what they struggled with - so I'm working very hard to make it as amazing as I can! It's honestly an honor to work on a program that has as much reach as Figmin XR does - to be recognized and approached by strangers because of it!!!! - and I wanna say we're trying to set the best example we can of what this new technology could REALLY be used for.

... Because it's gonna be used for a lot - and not all of it is gonna be good. I'm constantly thinking about Keiichi Matsuda's film "Hyper-Reality", which is a "bad end" vision of what AR glasses will be like, and I think it should be more widely known among developers. And just like... people in general. Think about what tech you consume, kids! 🫡

BUT YES. Brush icons. Tooltip names. Making new ones is hard!! I'm trying to exactly match the existing Tilt Brush style, while also attempting to include visual & naming information that makes every single brush as organized and easy-to-understand as humanly possible.

It's fun! But agonizing. 🫠

[mithrilhearts]

Random Writer Anon!!

When you get this answer one of the questions (or all if you really want!) then pass it on to 5 writer friends! 🥰If you have more than one WIP, pick at random! We want you to talk about your works, and celebrate with you! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Don’t worry if you don’t know how to answer these questions, I’ll be back with more next Sunday. 😉

What are you most excited to write with this WIP?

How has this WIP changed since the “daydream/brainstorm” stage?

Who is your favorite character in this WIP and why?

Oh!! This is so wonderful!! I love the idea, Anon!! <3 And I thank you (and a handful of others) for dropping into my inbox! :) I'm going to answer all of these with different fics, so let's get going!!

Let's talk about....Bookbinder//Songwriter!

What are you most excited to write with this WIP?

OKAY!! So I have a great answer for this one. The next chapter I think I am going to touch base on a little flashback, to truly flesh out and highlight just how Bilbo and Thorin met. If you recall in chapter one, and even in one of the later chapters (...7 I think??) it's known that Thorin struggled HARD to ask Bilbo out, or do anything, because he's a big goob, and we love him. I want to show off exactly what happened - was it love at first sight? Did someone say something silly in embarrassment? We're going to find out, and I am so excited to do it! Also, there are some conflicts on the horizon, and I'm sure many of you who are familiar with the fic can guess as to what. If not, I'll leave you with this little hint: it doesn't hurt to be wary when those who abandoned you suddenly come out of nowhere with "good intentions". Success of others makes people do anything to get a hold of it.

How has this WIP changed since the “daydream / brainstorm” stage?

So this started out as a request, probably for a one-shot at the time, and it terrified me. Brainstorming it was....agonizing lol just as it was scary. This is my first modern au style fic, and it was so intimidating. Initially I was just going to do this as a few one-shot highlights, and then after the....second chapter??? I think??? I decided to just make it a full fic - it's one of those that could go on forever, I think, and it's evolved so much since the start - just as I've evolved with it. I've learned to love modern aus, and what started out as a scary experience and what I felt was an "underrated" fic, has become one of my favorites, and a fan favorite to many.

Who is your favorite character in this WIP and why?

This is a terribly hard question. I think the obvious answer(s) is Bilbo and Thorin, respectively, as they ARE the main characters of the story, my blorbos, the ones I put into any universe and dote on whenever I can. I could sit here and ramble for ages about why I love this version of them, but I think I can convey that the best in the fic itself. So for a non-bagginshield answer.... Radagast - While he's not been in the fic a lot, he's like the uncle/grandpa figure in Dis and Thorin's life, especially since they've lost their brother, father, and their grandfather Thror disowned them. He's a supportive adult who is typically on their side, and while sticking true to his portrayal in the movie, he's quirky and odd, and I love him to bits. He also has a pet raccoon that lives in the trash cans behind the bar??? AWESOME. He's been rooting for the Durin family, and I feel like can provide a safe space for them, as well as advice when needed. Is it good advice? That remains to be seen. Nori - The mischievous little gremlin, and Dwalin's significant other, as well as bass player for Durin's Desolation. He's SUCH a fun and cheeky character to play with, but he has a wonderful heart in his chest too. He's a fantastic partner for Dwalin, and while yes, he gets on the nerves of everyone ever, he genuinely cares about those around him. He gives me a great excuse to put some silliness into the chapters whenever he is around. Sometimes you just gotta be silly, dirty, and annoying, I guess lol

Thank you so much for this ask!! I'm so glad I got to babble about this fic a little bit!!

[stellamancer]

AAAA SERA YOU LEFT ME A LONG ESSAY... I CRY.... 

....it feels really sad that when I think of summer I just think about the blistering heat! I live somewhere where it gets wildly hot in the summer so all I think about is just! It’s hot!! LMAO. But truly, thank god for insufferable mermen, because I think without their existence, our Reader would have spent the majority of their summer wasting away on their parents’ couch. 

Thank you for!! Your kind words!! About my writing!! The way your comment is structured I’m guessing you were writing as you were reading and so I feel like we’re at the beginning here and I really, really agonized over the beginning because it’s really a ‘and this is how we got here (the summer hang out).’ I think a lot of active time spent writing this was spent in this first section. So it makes me really happy to hear you praise it!! (And to be honest, I think my writing is very... plain in terms of description— I am easily bored of it! So, if you ever see me taking the time to describe an image to you it’s because I think it’s something very important! Actually, writing the second half of this chapter was also a challenge in a way because I love, love, love writing dialogue and there is so little of it!) 

So I, especially in longer fics like this, tend to give my Readers an OC best friend of sorts. I think people look down on them, but, why? I guess you could have a canon character fill the role, but then you’re bogged down by the constraints of that character’s canon characterization. OCs are fun! I keep meaning to ramble a little bit about Minori and the best friend OC in my long Deku fic because... they are so different LMAO. Anyway, at the time of writing this, I wasn’t quite sure the direction I wanted to go with Minori and Reader’s friendship, whether or not it was going to be like the kind of friendship you mentioned— the kind that has unfortunately fizzled out or... well, if there is something else going on here like you’re speculating. 

Shinomiya is sweetheart! Truly! I feel flattered to have him compared to DDAO’s Hideo (this is a complete aside, but I think Hideo would be great for rip!mc, but unfortunately, stsg want to monopolize her, but then again I adore rip!mc so I would too). He’ll be back too, lmao. As a rival for Gojo? Maybe? Well, I say that but we both know better I think LMAO. 

I’m glad you like this reader! To be honest, I’ve toned her down a little because originally she was a lot more feisty! And she is still a little bit. She’s got the patience of an angel, but Gojo... well, he’s the type to really push the envelope, right? So even though, she’s a total sweetheart, there will definitely be instances when Gojo has pushed her too far and she snaps at him. 

But, it’s true, she’s a very, very lonely person. The fact that she’s an introvert doesn’t help, nor does it help that (this is mentioned a little more in Part 3) she works from home. She doesn’t get a lot of social interaction LMAOOO. I was thinking as I was writing that Gojo’s really gonna make things lively. 

Speaking of him, the only person who actually picked up on this was my beta reader but; Gojo was awake. Not the whole time, but at some point he did wake up and he wanted to see what Reader was going to do with him so he, by some miracle, kept his big fat mouth shut the whole time. Reader never finds out about this. LOL. 

Anyway thank you so much for your feedback!! I hope you enjoy Part 2 when you get to it!! 

pairing: fem!reader x merman!satoru gojo

summary: you were excited to return home for the summer, but all that excitement is quickly thrown out the window and you nearly resign yourself to a quiet and lonely summer.

the insufferable merman you rescued, however, has other plans.

contents: degrees of social anxiety from the reader, fem!reader (no pronouns used, reader is referred to as physically smaller than gojo) 

notes: uh. this was written for the teahouse mermay collab! but, uh, gonna probably spend the summer writing this because somehow plot happened. will happen. this work will end up being a roommates to friends to maybe lovers fic so please look forward to it. uh. not sure what else to say. i usually don’t post multi-part fics to tumblr, but since i don’t expect this fic to get too long i figured it would be okay this time around lmao. i expect to eat my words. anyway this fic can also be found on ao3!  

word count: 4.3k

masterlist 

It’s the first time you’ve been home in a while, and honestly speaking, you don’t know how you feel about it.

At first, you were excited. As much as you enjoyed city life in Tokyo, you still missed your little seaside hometown. It was your parents’ idea to come home to visit, not so much because they missed you too, but because they wanted you to watch the house while they went on a summer long trek across Europe. As luck would have it, the time of their departure coincided with the expiration of your apartment’s lease. With no intent on renewing it, you figured you might as well return home for the summer and save a little bit on rent before moving into your new place.

Keep reading

[quidfree]

YOU are why I am intimidated so much by writing Bakugou’s POV lol your writing of Bakugou and Todoroki’s inner dialogue is incredible. Makes me throw up my hands, ‘see? That’s exactly how I see it! It’s already been said! What could I possibly contribute in a story of my own, lol?’

I just feel like you understand them so well. Your TLAAO is so nuanced and…admittedly, one of the few T rated stories that kept me reading despite nothing explicit (your most recent work on AO3 with the Bakugou crossover thing chewed me up and spit me out lol 😂, the line especially about people losing interest or stopping reading after the first kiss or hookup lol… I was embarrassed to say the least! But laughing all the while). Their chemistry though lol gracious, it’s intelligently spicy!

I guess what I’m saying is: I am supremely jealous of how you write them with such wit and crackling undercurrents of …idk, awesomeness. See? I can’t even adequately describe what your delicious dialogue does to me. Ooo, good word: scintillation.

Wait, I’m supposed to be asking a question. Okay, um, I talked myself out of my initial question because to ask how you get into the mind of these characters may be outside my ability right now lol hmm… maybe?…. In your opinion what do they, Todoroki and Bakugou, want and need?

Gonna go fuck off now and reread TLAAO because the story got me addicted to escaping into the agonizing slow burn 🔥 thank you so much for sharing your amazing stories and your unique POV with the world. I’m really grateful.

anon this is so flattering haha thank you. sorry for dragging you in the BL nightmare fic. and yeah, scintillation is a good word. definitely do not be put off from writing yourself because of my fic!

regarding your scrapped question about the minds of the characters, you're in luck, because i did answer a similar question like 2 years ago which i managed to dig up the answer to here

beyond that, regarding what both characters want/need... hm

bakugou wants, foremost, to Win. that's his whole fun dynamic with midoriya, right? midoriya wants to Save like all might, and bakugou wants to Win like him. now, with character dvp/trauma, he gains a more nuanced understanding of what Winning means to him- no longer just beating every opponent into the dust and laughing at them, but winning also by virtue of being a winner For Good- planting himself in opposition to the forces of evil by taking definite action for good, whether this be in kicking ass or ensuring those around him are also at their personal best to do the same, etc. still i'd argue even proto-bakugou does have more than just winning on paper as his Want- that's why he gets SO mad when todoroki doesn't fight him properly in sports fest, and why he spits on the league's offer to switch sides. he wants to be the best amongst the best, not just have the title.

what bakugou needs is more complicated. pragmatically he needs very little! and in canon he’s already had/is still displaying the kind of growth i would have said he needed early on- to become a hero ™ not just in name but in practice. when he’s at that point, what does bakugou need? maybe to continue to look beyond himself- in terms of being a hero for the people, but also in recognizing that having a community he can rely upon and bond with and open up to is in fact good for him. it’s not that he needs taking care of, even though TLC does everyone good, but i think some level of real recognition does both his ego and his fragile feelings some good- kirishima’s been such a positive influence on him bc of it. even my earliest fairly OOC tdbk works had that whole bit where todoroki gets on his ass about the fact that having people you care about makes you stronger not weaker. so i guess those two things are his needs.

todoroki, i think, is a little harder to pin down than bakudeku, since they’re helpfully explained to the audience by numerous other characters and by subtextual opposition. what he wants most consistently is probably to Do Good. originally this idea is very much just a kind of hollow motivation that exists purely in opposition to his father- enji is the Bad todoroki will be Good against- but it’s still somewhat distinct from bakugou’s winning thing, since he doesn’t care about the game in itself, just ousting his father from it. as the story progresses he very rapidly starts to take notice of the difference between him and eg midoriya iida or bakugou, who all have a lot more clear ideas of what their wants mean to them, and once he manages to unrepress a little he rapidly starts to flesh out what Doing Good actually means to him- protecting an ideal, standing for something real and alongside others, extending kindness to those who need it. 

what todoroki needs... he and bakugou are both very independent and start off very individualistic, so no surprise that i think that whole ‘people around you’ thing is a need for both of them. with todoroki, though, i think he’s less resistant to the idea of forming bonds; what he needs considering his fucked up childhood is probably more simple, like just having friends who consistently and enthusiastically care about him. that tethers him to the world, but it also heals some of the really dark things inside him that todoroki does a really good job of pushing past but deserves to actually address at some point.

[halion-halion-aito]

oh hello!! *pulling out notes i’d had ready for like weeks* i’m very very glad you asked!

so, alright, let’s start from the fact that, clearly, geoff johns didn’t know his characters at all when he started writing teen titans. so, even if he didn’t do this retcon (which, just as a side fact, was actually a theory he’d formulated and written to DC in a letter when he was twenty-one), he would’ve probably completely failed at writing kon.

which he did, retcon or not, since you can absolutely tell conner is so not the same guy as the kon we met in young justice and superboy.

but, going back to the retcon itself.

(putting a keep reading sign here because it turned out longer than expected, lol)

the thing it really does, in my opinion, is to really shake away what was kon’s greatest issue, the core of his character and what really started all the insecurities, if you want to call them that way, he showed in superboy.

(side side note: all this stuff is from his solo, which may seem like a fun read but is a rollercoaster of pain. but it’s 100% worth the read imo)

initially, kon was only created from the human dna samples of A Guy, whose name is paul westfield and was the scientist, 100% human, in charge of the superboy project. kon was then modified so that he could emulate suoperman’s powers through his ttk (take note: no superstrenght, no flight, no immunity to bullets or anything; just the ttk he can use in different ways) (it was also said at some point that there was a chance he might develop actual kryptonian powers, because they fucked with his dna that much, but there wasn’t any warranty about this)

now, there’s somehting that really is not obvious in the sense that they never really say it, but it’s something that probably comes to mind if you think about it enough aka all day long instead of studying like i do, lmao:

he is superboy, but there’s nothing “super”, nothing of krypton about him.

now, i wonder. who wouldn’t feel like a fraud, in his situation? who wouldn’t feel like they need to work twice as much to actually be worth the S they bring on their chest?

what’s so interesting about the superboy solo is kon’s process of aknowledgement (i will come back on this point later). at first he feels he’s entitled to have the name and the S – hell, he was literally born from this! he can do everything superman can!

but then it starts hitting him, through failures and other conversations. kara had taken the S away from him, after knockout’s issue – which was a little bit harsh and unfair of her, since he’d bee n manipulated and abused at that point, but that’s not the point. the point is that kara has all the right to take the S away from him. she’s a real super, she’s a kryptonian. she’s what kon really will never be, as a matter of fact.

and all the times he failed at saving people, and worse, the time people died because of him, indirectly or not. (the whole issue 92 is about this. it is agonizing to read, i’m not gonna lie to you.)

keep in mind that he also had no name other than superboy at the time. (also project 13, but uuuuh.) so, like. yeah alright i was born to be superman. now what do i do to be what i’m supposed to be? – ofc, you do what superman does. – okay. – and what does superman do? – well, he saves people. he is popular. he is an icon for everyone. he does good for people. – okay, and? – and what? – what else?

there wasn’t much else, if you asked him. that was all he needed to be superman – how can i say, to exist. without these things, he’s a useless human like any other.

this is also why he literally cried tears of joy when he finally got a name. the name is the first level of identity. in history, everytime someone was to be deleted as a person, his name was cancelled from everywhere; when their dignity was to be taken away, their name was replaced with a number; in romeo and juliet, during the balcony scene, when he says he’s willing to renounce to his name to be with juliet, he’s essentially telling her he’s willing to let go of all himself to be with her, to become nothing but love; in the odyssey, when odysseus says he’s “nobody”, he’s essentially saying he’s willing to let go of his whole dignity as a person in order to survive this.

literary note aside, he’s finally being told he’s more than just a superman copycat, a boy playing superman. he’s given the honor to actually be a super, with a kryptonian name, despite not being born that way.

but then again. friends die, he can’t save anyone, people die because of him (we’d all love to say it wasn’t his fault, and it isn’t, but indeed he was a dangerous catalyst; and if he can’t control what he has, he will inevitably lead to people being hurt and worse). he’s right back at square one. if he can’t save people, he can’t be a super, and if he can’t be a super he isn’t even meant to exist. this thinking process gets to the point where he’s literally suicidal, filled with self-loathing and just wishing he could disappear.

narratively speaking, i liked how the superboy solo went on a crescendo, it was literally tearing him apart issue after issue, and at the end there’s a softening, there’s the last pages that say it’s not okay at all, but it will be, say that he’s finally starting a healing process, at the kents farm.

(which we didn’t see anything about, anyway. i think i would’ve liked to see not only his mental health deteriorating, but also him facing his demons and winning on them. i remember that at the end of graduation day, he tried to tell cassie it wasn’t their fault. even just trying to say it, he assured me he was making some process. oh baby boy. i wonder how he felt when he was alone again, though, and when he realized that donna attacked the android to save dick, but dick attacked it to save kon. i’m in tears okay.)

now, let’s skip to tt03.

and, let’s say the retcon specifically.

first off, i really want to tell you – it’s bland. like, wow! the child of a superhero and his nemesis! how original! (didn’t they do this already with bart, only that they gave off more dramatic and interesting vibes? i’m just asking.)

but, if we want to ignore this point and my personal opinion.

do you see how everything we said about his heritage is suddenly waste paper? he does have krypton dna, he’s got all the rigths to be a super. they basically said, fuck his character development of the last ten years and all the basis of his whole character.

also, the conflict is pointless if you think of kon. like, oh okay, so i have lex luthor’s dna, cool. that’s more of a personal thought, but i don’t think kon would’ve gone down that way of doubt. this guy is extremely self-aware, even too much for his own good, especially at the point in life where he was there.

i’m not saying he would’ve shrugged it off. but there are different ways he would’ve dealt with it.

and i’m also not again going on the way all of his traumas and issues and past were magically wiped away, like you could read tt03 and you wouldn’t say ¾ of the people he loved died, some of them because of him, he was manipulated by older women because they were interested in his body and his popularity, he’s looking for himself somewhere inside him, he’s terrified of being alone, he’s seen the one girlfriend he had a very problematic relationship with but was the most stable one die in front of him twice, and all of this in less than a year of life.

oh, an important note. i’m not saying tt03 conner is absoulte shit, even if it may look like it. he would’ve been a cool character if he was a different dude. he’s the definition of himbo, a little too much of a clark II to be notable, but anyway. a fun dude. looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll. looks like his super strong arms were bulit just to hug you.

but it’s absolutely horrible that a complex and original to the unforgettable character like kon was transformed into something that was anything but him. they are two different characters, and it’s the fact that they’re actually the same person that makes me angry, if that makes sense.

i think i’m done? anyway, my point is that geoff johns ruined what could’ve been a great character, and who could’ve been a true inspiration for many, like me if you believe i’m making a weird discourse.

thank you so much for your ask!! i had been thinking about making this post for a while but i didn’t find the occasion to <3

ALSO ALSO. if something wasn’t really clear, may i add as an exlpanation

i’d use this beatles albums to describe the difference between the two characters. alternatively – pre-tt03 kon was nirvana/marina and the diamonds; post-tt03 conner was the smiths/twenty one pilots. thank you for your attention. yes i’m a music person. kon was a music person. superboy was a music comic. they took the music dimension away from him isn’t this horrible.

[stinastar]

End of Year Questions for Writers and Artists

1. What project are you most proud of and why?

Probably Green & Gold? It felt hard, often, but I finished it. Pretty sure it’s my longest fic. It came from angsty little snippets I was telling myself with no plans to write them, but I did, and I managed to, you know, actually make a story of them, and write the in-between bits, and I finished it. LOL. It’s very outside of my usual one-shot wheelhouse.

2. Which project did you have the most fun making?

Probably 5 times Aiden angles for a pet, and 1 time he gets his wish. I wrote it pretty quickly and snickered to myself most of the way.

3. Which project was the most unexpected and/or challenging and why?

Hmm. Unexpected I would say Distraction. The idea struck me out of nowhere one day and I said to my friends “someone should really write...” because suddenly I very much wanted it, but did not want another WIP, lol. Anyhow, things happened, as they do, and I wrote it, and I love it.

For challenging I’m going to go back to Green & Gold. The stupid details I agonized over that you would never notice while reading it, hahaha. The plot and story holes I had to fill...

4. Which project would you like to receive more attention?

Shut Me Up, Safe and Sound, Peacock & Is Love Alive? were quiet... the last three more than I expected, at least. Is Love Alive? I definitely had higher hopes for, in terms of reception/attention 😅😅 ALAS.

5. Is there a project you intended to work on but couldn’t find the time? If so, what is it?

I think anything I didn’t work on or finish was less a matter of time, more a matter of getting derailed by new ideas, or things souring projects for me... I started a lambden angst fic but uh - things happened. Maybe I’ll finish it this year lol. And I have a geraskier mod au fic I started w/ @ahh-fxck, but we’re passing it back and forth, and lots of life & stuff has happened, so it’s been been stop and go. It’s on the docket.

6. Have you noticed an improvement in your skill this year? Did a specific project help?

Yeah! I definitely feel like my writing has improved, in various ways. And @lohrendrell says it has, which means I’ve left less messes behind for her to clean up, lol.

Oops, meant to say that I think Green & Gold definitely helped me grow as a writer, I think.

7. If you could remake any project you’ve created this year, which one would it be and why?

Hahahahaha. Of Dragons and Heartbreak. For sure. It isn’t terrible, but it definitely isn’t what I had in mind. Probably some of my sour feelings towards it have more to do with other ppl’s bullshit than anything actually in it, but. Anyhow. Yeah. I had this idea I wanted to try, and then the flashfic prompt fit really well, so I attempted it, but I was so rushed, so it isn’t what I had in mind. I wanted a different flavour and more angst. Lots more. I somewhat regret writing it for the prompt. Oh well. Womp womp.

8. What project would you like to make next year?

Hmm. I mean. I plan to/hope to finish a lot of my WIP? I’m just about done (I think) with another Eskel/OC fic, which I quite like. I’m halfway through a silly Jaskier & Ciri/geraskier mod au fic, then probably a cute lambden fic for @jlyarts. I think after that I might try to do the lambden Hanahaki fic I have 3 half-baked thoughts on, lol. Tasty. Could also go for some geraskier angst, I have a tiny single thought to whump the bard. I also want to try to clean up my original story I worked on for Nanowrimo. It’s a half-baked mess.

I was sort of sideways tagged by @lohrendrell​ lol. If I tagged you in this, that’s your tag. If you see this and want to do it, that is also your tag lol. Everyone is tagged <3 @glittering-git @westmoor @major-trouble @kushielsmercy @contemplativepancakes @soundslikepenance @fangirleaconmigo @childoffantasy @brothebro @alllthequeenshorses @itsrapsodia @spielzeugkaiser I’m also gonna draw your attention here, if you haven’t done this yet and feel so inclined <3

[yessoupy]

2021 Fic Round-Up Meme

On March 3rd I wrote this godforsaken post because I just wanted to write some fucking stories but my governor was trying (is still trying) to kill me by getting rid of the mask mandate:

Then like an hour later teachers (my profession) were able to get vaxxed so I was feeling better about everything lol. Four days after that viral post, I uploaded a fic to AO3. Still in 2021 I published only 3 stories, all in one fandom, so this round-up is ... small. lol. ALSO I started grad school Fall 2021 so that sucked up a lot of my writing energy.

Total Fics Posted: 3

The Anatomy of Cold, Lewis Nixon/Dick Winters, Band of Brothers

Fort Benning, Lewis Nixon/Dick Winters, Band of Brothers

Iraq, Lewis Nixon/Dick Winters, Band of Brothers

Total Words Posted: 10,415

Total Words (of Anything Excluding Blogs) Written: Outside of published fic, I wrote about 13k words for writing assignments in 2 grad school classes (would have been much more except my second professor was a BIG fan of page limits, and also this isn't counting discussion posts). I probably have only about 3k of unpublished written text for fic.

My favorite fic story this year: I recently received a comment on Iraq that pleased me, in that the reader appreciated aspects of the story that I was trying so hard to convey. I have a couple of comments about that fic in that same vein, so I'd have to say Iraq is my favorite because it seems like I achieved my narrative goals!

My best story this year:

Story most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I mean I only have 3 from this year, so it's hard to say any are under-appreciated?? They're all in a fandom for a TV mini-series that ran 20 years ago, I feel like I need to appreciate every kudo and comment no matter how few!

Sexiest Story: Iraq, without a doubt. There's a little bit of foxhole kissing in The Anatomy of Cold because Bastogne, and most of Fort Benning is Dick being oblivious to his homosexuality. In Iraq, the sequel to Fort Benning, we have established relationship winnix returning from war.

Most fun story: Most fun (???) to write was probably The Anatomy of Cold. I wrote it after Texas had its electrical grid disaster which left me without power in sub-freezing temperatures for about 40 hours. I looked up how cold Bastogne had been during the Battle of the Bulge, and it was abnormally cold, which turns out to be the same temperature my part of Texas was for like a week. I hadn't been in weather that cold in so many years. Once I got power back, I tried to use that experience of the cold to bring as much ... reality ... to that fic as possible.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: In writing the modern military winnix AU (the place-name fics), I've had to restructure each character's purpose for joining the Army. THIS HAS BEEN DIFFICULT! And I do keep having to remind myself that the real Dick Winters enlisted to get his year of service over with, then a war broke out.

Hardest story to write: I re-wrote most of Iraq four times or so.

Biggest surprise: Ann Winters in Iraq was so easy to write????

A story I want remembered: There's only 3, lol. You can do it!!

Resolutions for 2022: I have more stories that belong in the all the places they've lived series. I want to write them. Here are the story ideas so you can bug me about them.

Dick and Lew go to San Francisco on leave and take in a Giants game. They're on the kiss cam, and Nix discovers the scorecard.

Lew is fucking miserable as an intelligence officer and decides not to re-up once his window opens. He agonizes about the decision and what impact it would have on Dick (who very much enjoys the leading and teaching elements of commanding a platoon).

Nix will leave the Army, rent a house, and they'll manage to live together with Dick still in the service.

EVENTUALLY DADT is repealed and they can come out, but this will impact Dick's promotion (to lieutenant colonel? colonel? I can't remember how old he'll be) and so he'll end up retiring.

They live happily ever after and probably adopt some older kids idk.

The original prompt was "modern AU DADT" so if you have any sparks of an idea you would like to contribute I'M ALL EARS/EYES.

I ALSO owe some winnixwelsh fic to @churchkey, because bisexual harry welsh is seriously underrepresented in this fandom (and for all of us teachers, the real harry welsh was a dream of an administrator ?????). I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN. I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME. one day when my governor (and principal...) aren't trying to kill me I WILL FINISH IT!!!!

(thank you to @aimmyarrowshigh for posting this meme before the new year!)

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

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so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡