#so more often then not they were doing full loops which means most loops were at least 24 hours

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt from the top act 5 again. Me and the bestie having the worst derealization episodes of our lives <3

[jadeshifting]

✦ ˚ — HOGWARTS DR

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　

JADE (meaning; nobility & wealth. the jewel of heaven, protector of generations living & dead) GRIMM … hair black as a bottomless well, nearly to my bellybutton, tall and imposing but steady as a horse nonetheless. deft hands, sneaky, quiet. footsteps lighter than the breeze. piercing gaze, eyes like pools of ink that make others want to reveal everything they’re keeping secret all at once, to give me exactly what I want before I even ask for it. powerful … like a dragon, or a tornado. i can be equal parts woman and dragon, equal parts beautiful and horrifying.

the crystal-clear water is salvation, I could lie in it for hours, it cradles me. my features are most themselves in candlelight and moonlight, which are opposites but quite the same to me. eyelids dusted with silver and white glitter, eyelashes curled, lips pouted with shimmery lipstain. days filled with centuries old books, nail polish, dueling practice, deep emerald silk, spell creation, crystal moisturizer, potionmaking.

the heiress to the only known matriarchal linage in the wizarding world. also the longest standing lineage— coincidence? NOT

mother is our matriarch, and she treats my brothers like children. not me, though. never me. I have to be everything. beautiful, more powerful than any of the others before me. surrounded by men who will lead their families one day, and my power has to dwarf theirs. it does.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　

— HOGWARTS SCHOOL

I very narrowly avoided being sent to another school, like Beauxbatons in France, but I ultimately ended up where all of my friends’ parents were sending them. not just my friends, but people I’ve known since birth. people I have blood pacts with, that hold not just my truths and secrets, but essentially a piece of my soul in their hands.

i’ve always excelled in my classes. I take notes, I do my homework early. i’m the top of my class, with some of the other Slytherins and Ravenclaw students chasing my scores but never quite meeting them. donning button-up shirts, pleated Slytherin skirts, house ties and knee socks, I’ve never missed a single class— or a single opportunity to push the dress code

“she’s untouchable— but Merlin, if I had the chance…”

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

I think i could stay within Hogwarts’ stone walls forever. aside from being my favorite place, it’s supercharged with magic, ever-changing, engorged to the brim with mysteries and things to discover, and the safest place in the wizarding world. why couldn’t i stay forever— school, to university, and become a professor— and act like no time has passed at all? something i think on often

— SKILLS & SPECIALTIES

academically speaking, I was hammered on an anvil for more years than I can remember. when it comes to knowledge there is nothing to be satisfied with short of flawlessness. it’s a lifelong pursuit, with my head full of so many spells it could very well pop, and my wand only an extension of the real tool: myself

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

magic is power, and everything else is grace… and strategy.

✦ ˚ — pulling back an arrow and watching the feather delicately flit through the air before it stabs it’s target

✦ ˚ — floating like a spectre, I become easily confused with a phantom as I glide across the ballroom when I dance

✦ ˚ — perfectly straight posture and using the proper utensils at the dinner table

✦ ˚ — notes in four languages with handwriting that loops and slants like the path of a swan

✦ ˚ — I handle a dagger, and the sleek silver becomes like another hand, something that moves without needing my attention

my magic is the flame of a dragon and the deafening roar of a riptide and the crackling growth of a thousand year old tree. everything else about me is perfectly measured— all graceful curves and precisely straight lines that make up me and everything I can do

— MY REPUTATION

i keep to my friends in Slytherin, plain and simple. i can’t remember a time in my life when i wanted friends other than them. we roam the hallways, walking to class and to dinner together, crowding around one big table in the library, occupying a row of desks, whispering and passing notes to eachother, shoving ourselves into a booth in the Three Broomsticks— in short, we’re a package deal

the fact that we swoop over Hogwarts like a flock of bats, that if i’m not with them i’m alone, that i generally don’t speak unless i really have something to say. my family’s money, the clothes i wear, and probably also the fact that i walk like i personally own the hallway… it all makes people whisper

i’m above it, as far as i’m concerned. musings about my grades or my love life, suspicions about my family, my money or my intentions— they don’t concern me.

✦ ˚ — “she’s got that aura, like she always knows something the rest of us don’t. makes you wanna follow her, just to find out.”

✦ ˚ — “girl’s got more secrets than the Restricted Section”

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

— DAY TO DAY

mornings getting dressed for class, doing my makeup in the mirror with my girls, heading to breakfast

✦ ˚ — Prada bag full of magic textbooks as i walk to class, heels clicking on the stone floors. attentive in class, drinking in information like the roots of an orchid

lunchtime, more classes, swapping out the school blouse for a better top and walking to Hogsmeade. having a milkshake at Madam Puddifoot’s and walking out of Honeyduke’s with a bag of shimmering sweets

✦ ˚ — parties with sparkling liquor, music that nearly shatters the windows

returning home in the summer. galas, family events. meeting and learning business, forbidden magic that the walls of Hogwarts can’t see

✦ ˚ — and regardless of season, time, day or place; going to sleep on a mountain of pillows and knowing i’ll wake up tomorrow and do something else important. something more important, every day until i do something world changing

ib : @/solanasreality & @/hrrtshape

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　

[concerningwolves]

this last week really has had me thinking a lot about why Loki is popularly conceptualised as a queer figure over any of the other Norse gods. part of me thinks it's not That Deep:

Loki is a more obviously transgressive figure, both in terms of his trickster aspect and in terms of him doing stuff that explicitly crosses gender binaries (see: transforming himself into a mare and giving birth to Sleipnir in this form). He is also often represented as an outsider. All of which are things that lend themselves well to a queer reading.

These same characteristics are also present in his Marvel comics counterpart – a very popular character who, depending on the comic, may be anything between coded or canonically written as queer. Fandom also loves to blur the bounds of marvel Loki and Norse mythology Loki, gleefully playing with the two in a space that is already radically queer, so that one feeds into the other.

Rick Riordan also ran with obviously queer Loki in his Magnus Chase series, further cementing Loki as a queer figure in a fairly mainstream social arena, and attracting more people to Norse mythology with this conception of Loki already in their minds, creating another feedback loop similar to the one mentioned above.

But it's the second part of that question – why Loki over any of the other Norse gods – that I really need to scratch at rn. There is rich evidence for Odin as a queer figure, too, but this isn't something I encounter much outside of scholarly discussion. And again, it may not be that deep, because (1) the arguments purporting Odin's queerness are scholarly, so not something most people would come across, and (2) the evidence given is drawn more from archaeology and sagas, rather than the popular stories that serve as most people's gateway to Norse mythology. E.g, the main argument for Odin as queer is:

Viking society had strict ideas about how social status and gender intersected. Unmanliness was deeply taboo. Laws made later in the viking period and into the medieval tell us that a lot of these taboos were enshrined in law – e.g., wearing clothes of another gender could invite legal repercussions.

Odin practises seid, a kind of ecstatic (i.e., ritual) magic mostly associated with discerning the future.

Seid was, as far as we understand it from archaeology and other sources, something that women practised. A female art, in other words, and not something that men did.

It is therefore interesting that Odin, someone who generally embodies what we consider to be the viking ideal of manhood, uses seid.

(bonus point: Extant descriptions of seid rituals also link it with fertility, and the rituals can have an erotic air; men who practised seid could be called ergi, a serious insult that implied they were the receptive/submissive party in gay sex. This means Odin not only moves beyond the gender binary, but embodies a challenge to norms of sexuality as well)

So unless you're someone who already has this context, Odin's use of seid would just seem like another instance of magic in stories already full of magic. It's also a (somewhat sad imo) fact that modern retellers of Norse mythology tend to draw on the same set of stories, usually those from the Prose Edda or Poetic Edda because these form the neatest & most coherent sense of narrative [1]. That, and mythology retellings are usually aimed at children and young teens, the effect of which is twofold –

stories such as Odin's rape of Rind, which involve him disguising himself as a woman, are unlikely to be included because they're hard to make age-appropriate. This lessens their popularity and public prominence, so people are often unaware of them.

Retellings are heavily coloured by the teller's beliefs and politics[2], and specifically in this case by what they consider appropriate for a child: Anything queer is often considered inherently "adult" and therefore Not child-friendly. However, the story of Thor disguising himself as Freya is ok because it reinforces how men and women are separate and any attempt to cross that binary makes you into a fool; Loki is often written as an evil or even satan-like figure, which makes it acceptable to use him as an example of queerness = deviant and wrong, etc.

Still, I can't help wondering if the popular conception of Odin as the manly warrior god has been a barrier, too. In many online leftist queer spaces these days, manhood has started being seen as the antithesis of queerness; as the gross privileged oppressor gender. (Which is such a hilariously out of touch concept, considering that queer men's masculinity is attacked because of their queerness, and factors such as race, religion and (dis)ability also radically change just how much privilege being a man will grant). There is a real problem with images of gender fluidity, transness and gender non-conformity centering thin, feminine (often white!) and attractive people. Many people's concepts of "non-binary" actually just describe "female presentations but slightly to the left". In that mindset, the bearded guy with a warrior's build, who isn't typically described as attractive, cannot be queer. He is too masculine. Hyper-masculine, even – as if nobody with incredibly masc presentation can possibly be any flavour of queer. It's the entire punchline for why Thor pretending to Freya is so funny (a punchline that is just a transphobic punch for many transfem people).

So yes, I have to ask if this is part of why Loki is usually the only Norse god who gets the queer treatment in pop culture. Because it's easier to create from him a queer figure who is more palatable to modern tastes, whereas Odin still poses a challenge to our concepts of what queerness should be today, even though we have moved on a long way from the social attitudes of the viking age..

[1] all of our records of the Norse myths kind of count as retellings btw and are absolutely shaped by the social context in which they were recorded and the beliefs of the writers. E.g., Snorre represents Odin more favourably while Saxo writes him less favourably. It is very hard to know how people in the viking age thought of the gods and myths and religion.

[2] viking history and Norse mythology (or a flattened, idealistic version of these) have been co-opted by Nazis, neonazis and other groups who idolise the image of white hyper-masculine supremacy that they see in these, too. I think the public perception of viking culture has been recovering but misconceptions about who the vikings were & how they lived still linger, and the impressions of 20th & 21st century bigoted attitudes that were superimposed onto Norse history are still visible.

[bg-brainrot]

WHaBFHtLA - Astarion x GN!Reader - Chapter 1: Knifes and Nightmares

Pairing: Astarion x GN!Reader (Elf!Tav)

Genre: Reincarnation, Angst, Mystery, Slow burn

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Tags: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, POV Second Person, Canon-Typical Violence

WC: 1.7k words, 1/?? chapters

Summary: At 12 years old, you first dream of the Pale Elf. The encounter scares you and sets you on your path forward.

Ao3 | [Ch2] | WHaBFHtLA Masterlist

An elf’s reverie is a time of introspection, of connecting to your former selves and their lives, and ultimately learning from them for your new life. When an elf enters this deep trance, the entire world falls away, and memories both good and bad come to them as if in a dream. It’s not always a pleasant experience, but it is often considered a necessary experience for elves to reach full maturity. After 100 years of reliving your past, you are finally acknowledged as a true adult, allowed to forge your way into the world in your new life.

You knew from a young age that you had lived some interesting lives. You received snippets of them each night, and awoke from your trance trying to decipher what each bit could mean, who the people were, which lives might have belonged to you. You found it a fascinating puzzle to solve– you also had the sneaking suspicion you didn’t always like puzzles.

The oddity of a new life is that you aren’t the same person. Of course not. You’re currently being raised by two well-to-do, doting parents living in Neverwinter. You don’t need a lot of memories to know that this is by far one of the most pleasant starts to life you’ve had. In this life, where you weren’t searching for your next meal or living on the streets, you’ve found the capacity to love puzzles.

When your memories suddenly decide to hand you a puzzle piece that doesn’t quite fit, it throws your new life for a loop.

You’re 12 years old, quite used to your nightly reveries now. Your parents have lovingly laid you to rest, and you eagerly enter your trance, ready for another clue about your past selves.

Eyes closed, world shut out, you access tonight’s memory easily.

The first thing you notice is the scent of the ocean. Its smell is a mixture of brine and fish, not unfamiliar to you. Along with the smell, you feel the cool breeze tickling your skin, blowing your hair just within your field of vision.

You feel taller than your current self, older, and bigger. You’re not sure how old you are, but you know that you’re an adult. Despite this, you’re unable to decipher much else.

Reliving a memory is nothing like real life. You can’t control your body, no matter how much you wish you could, you can find yourself coming in and out of these memories, and you can’t force yourself out of a memory once it’s started– it’s all out of your control.

So, as much as you’d like to learn more about your past-self, they’re currently preoccupied. Walking up this winding path, a rocky outcropping with some barren trees and shrubs, they seem to have a clear destination in mind: a figure at the top of the hill. 

They approach the person carelessly, as if nothing in the world could be a danger to them– you wonder if they’re more powerful than some of your other lives. You can tell someone is in tow, but clearly you trust them because you don’t turn around to look.

You reach the figure, a silver-haired elf. He’s strikingly pale, wearing impeccably designed clothing that seems out of place for where you’re finding him. His stance is cautious, ready for anything. Most surprising to you are his eyes, a rich red, and they dart between the bushes and you.

“Hurry! I’ve got one of those brain things cornered.” The voice is breathy, masculine, with an accent a bit different from your own. You can’t quite place it, as you’ve never left Neverwinter, but you think you’ve heard it in other lives’ memories. “There, in the grass. You can kill it can’t you? Like you killed the others?”

You feel your own emotions spark at his question, at once alien and familiar, and a surge of confidence radiates through you. “Easily, stand back.” The voice for this life is new to you, but it’s clearly very self-assured. You wonder what the ‘brain thing’ could be to warrant such certainty.

The memory cuts out–not a new occurrence, and your parents explained that lapses in memory could happen around moments of severe emotion as a natural protection. However, when it cuts back in, you’re overwhelmed by the amount of shock and fear coursing through you. You’re on your back, staring up at the same clear blue sky. A flash of silver glints just under your chin, and, as your former-self looks down, you see a knife pressed to your throat. 

You feel your limbs struggle, but the way his legs are wrapped around you, the way he’s leveraging his body weight, you find that you’re unable to get up. Panic rises in your throat as you wonder if this might be your first death. You didn’t realize you could experience death at such a young age– usually this was reserved for your later years of reverie. I’m not ready for this, you think, as you feel both of your body’s hearts pounding in their chests.

“Shhhh,” the man, who is now pinning you to the ground, all but tuts. “Not a sound. Not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours.” His head cranes up, to someone you can’t see. His face and tone shift to something angry as he growls, “And you– Keep your distance. No need for this to get messy.”

“I need them alive. Stow that blade or I’ll show you just how messy things can get.” The voice is feminine, their accent matches this man’s. 

“Promises, promises,” he says with a nonchalance that irks at you. “But I have other business, I’m afraid.”

His attention turns back to you. “Now, I saw you on the ship, didn’t I?” the elf continues, his tone is taunting you, knowing he has the upperhand. His next word is a command, “Nod.”

Present-day you, the 12-year-old that just wants to live, wills yourself to nod, to acquiesce to this insane man’s demands and see another dawn. However your past-self has other inclinations. 

Without so much as a word, they headbutt the man. Hard.

You feel the force of it nearly jolt you out of your trance, but you hold on, willing yourself to see if you make it out of this alive. 

The man grunts as he rolls off of you. “Argh. You wretched little–” 

Then your mind is wracked with pain, with flashes of memory that you can’t place. A previous life? You’re not sure. But after the sting of your heads colliding, this strain is too much for your mind to bear. Your vision teeters, hanging on by a single thread, all that’s left are that man’s intense red eyes.

You emerge from your trance with a shaky breath. You reach for your throat, as if to make sure that it’s still in one piece, only to find it coated in a thin sheen of sweat. 

What was that, you think. One thing is for sure: it was quite possibly one of the most vivid memories you think you’ve had yet. The smells, the sensations, the emotions – all of them still linger.

You don’t like it.

Tears begin spilling down your face, an unwelcome reaction to the fear that seems to rest just under your skin, uncomfortable and chilling. Your hands feel like someone else’s, and looking at them shake involuntarily is just about enough to bring you to a breaking point. “Who– who was that?” you get out, to no one in particular.

Verbalizing it helps to soothe your turbulent emotions, look at this logically. Okay, I must have felt quite strongly in that lifetime. You nod to yourself, wiping away tears with a few trembling fingers. More importantly, what did I learn?

You think back to the memories, willing your mind to push past the fear. You met this man. You don’t know who he is, or what he wanted, but he seemed to be armed and dangerous. You had a companion. You don’t know who they were either, but they seemed to be ready to kill for you.

The exercise calms you considerably, and only leaves you with more mysteries than solutions to your puzzle. What ship was he referring to? What was the ‘brain thing’? Whose memories had flashed through your head? 

You shake your head, no, no, none of those likely matter. If there’s one thing your memories have taught you is that specific events are in the past– there’s no use trying to piece it together like a history book. Likely nothing you did was worthy of a history book anyway. What you need to know would be infinitely more useful: who were you?  

You’d been confident, unshaken despite the fear pulsing in your body. You’d faced that terrifying man as if he were just another inconvenience, one that you were thoroughly fed up with.

You don’t know much of your former selves but you know that you want to be that. You don’t want to cry when faced with certain death. You want to headbutt it.

__

Years pass, and you work hard at training in the arcane arts, finding comfort in books and wizardry. You wonder if that will be enough to keep you safe in this life, safe from people like that silver-haired madman. Every time your will falters, you remember that memory and study harder. He becomes a figure in your mind of the dangers of the world, of something to fuel your fury when it begins to burn low. 

He’s nothing more to you than that silver-haired man for more than six years, as that particular lifetime of memories seems to lay dormant. Your parents have explained this to you before: you can’t control which life’s memories come to the forefront. To many, it seems arbitrary. To you, it feels like your mind is defending you. As if it realized you aren’t ready for that particular part of your past. Or perhaps it just knows that your hatred for this fair-haired elf may take over your current life.

The next time you’re visited by a memory of this pale elf, you find that the emotions he elicits are far from hatred.

[thatrandomlemononyourcounter1]

The Keeper Kid's Fatal Flaws

This is a response to @ahoyimlosingmymind asking what we thought the keeper kids' fatal flaws were, and it has been in my drafts for a hot second.

These are half headcanons half canon, and I'm just doing the main five cause if I did all of them it would take a million years

Sophie struggles a lot with putting pressure on herself to be perfect. She keeps a lot of secrets, but in her brain, she's trying to protect others, including her friends, family, bodyguards, etc, etc. She often gets stuck in this loop, of "Oh, I have to be perfect, I'm the moonlark. Everything is up to me." when in reality, everyone in her life wants to help her.

Keefe wants to protect others. That's why he's reckless, that's why he ran off both times, and and that's why he doesn't share anything about himself. He doesn't want people to feel sorry for him. He struggles a lot with being open, and like Sophie, keeps a lot of secrets to protect others, just in a different way. Keefe also struggles with inferiority, especially when he compares himself to Fitz. He talks a big game, but Keefe is really insecure.

Fitz struggles with a lot, but his biggest flaw, in a way, is his loyalty. HANG WITH ME HERE. If you think about it, my boy is incredibly loyal. He follows Sophie to the Forbidden Cities, he trusts his dad enough to do anything for him, he's loyal to his friends, and his family. Because of this, when something happens to someone who has his love and loyalty, he gets protective, and in that vein, angry. (i.e. when Alden's mind broke, he got mad at the world, and at Sophie, when he found out Alvar, someone he was loyal to, was a traitor, he got angry etc etc)

Biana struggles with inferiority. She always feels like she's lesser than everyone else because she's been told that (whether directly or indirectly) her whole life. She's been living in her brothers' shadows for her whole life, and then Sophie came along, grabbing everyone's attention instantly, which made Biana jealous, and gave her another shadow to live in once they became friends. Both Biana's brother, and her former crush liked Sophie, which had to make her feel inferior.

Dex struggles with jealousy and because of that jealousy- bitterness. His jealous attitude towards Fitz is what birthed the circlet that Sophie had to wear, and most of the mistakes Dex has made, whether it's with his tech, or with his friendships, are formed from jealousy. He was bitter towards Stina (and everyone else) for making fun of him and his family, so he was mean to her, put stuff in her drinks, etc. He got jealous and bitter when Sophie was hanging out with other people. He gets jealous of people whose skills seem more important than his. He's full of bitterness towards the elven world as a whole.

[freebooter4ever]

ok slow day on the blog so im about to get all soppy and artsy. Because a) this man drives me insane and i continously try to figure out why slash justify it to myself and b) i am so obsessed right now with that one leg muscle that kinda goes flat when you sit but also is a key part of how to structure the leg when drawing. Blah blah blah hockey butts yeah great but what if... hockey inner thigh....

Ughhhhhhh kill me now.

Anyway im gonna adress a trend i have noticed in the pens fandom mostly displayed through passive aggression towards me or other creators...and that's the use of references. There seems to be this idea that using references is lazy or cheating or means that this person isn't making 'real' art. And im gonna call some bullshit. Every single artist since someone decided to paint their hand and try to recreate a cow on a cave wall with their thumb has used references. Talk to real commercial artists and they use WAY more references than you can imagine. My current job is super stylized and unique. But back when i worked in hyper realism on C*ll of Dooty and superheroes and stuff? Never not once did the illustrators not utilize references. Often us 3D artists were given a photo with a posed actor, which we used to pose the 3D model, which then was illustrated on top of directly by the illustrator. Those artists had to churn out hundreds of illustrations a month. They did not have time to get precious about it.

And lets talk about 'sourcing'. Yes, if you copy a photo directly almost pixel for pixel an artist should probably reveal their source. But so rarely is this the case. If you put any kind of spin on it - your own style, change the colors, add or subtract the background - that is YOUR art and there is no need to link to or include the damn 'source'. It's not a 'source' at that point. That would be like asking the amazing folks who photoshop artistic 'edits' together using photos and brushes to link to the original photos at the bottom of all their posts. This is just silly.

You want to know what commercial artists did before the internet? My old friend here has a studio from the 70s-2000s that has an entire wall full of neatly organized stacked drawers of printed references, a lot of it clipped from magazines and books. Each of them labeled by subject matter. And this artist worked in some of the most famous advertizing studios during that era.

So, coming back around to hockey thighs, because I know there are certain folks in the pe*ns fandom that get annoyed and angry at my daily drawings (which is so sad by the way, get a life). I have to admit this is the first time this has ever happened in a fandom so it threw me for a loop. But I also know there are younger artists out there who follow me so I want to explain my process a little. Most of my daily doodles are studies - its one of the reasons its been easier to do them during my illness than any more serious creative work. When i doodle i am looking at references and trying to recreate that as i see it. The key point being 'as i see it'. I am usually trying to learn things like: in this photo what about the lighting is compelling, and how can i make it more so? Or what is the focus of the drawing and how can i let the rest of it fade? Or whats the main gesture and how do i exaggerate that? And always, always im trying to study anatomy from new angles. For me its not enough to learn what a 'knee' looks like because the shape of the knee and the muscles around it change depending on how it's posed. And it is often those changes that make it so beautiful. Or in this case that beautiful sexy stretch of thigh between geno's knee and groin.

Often times if i imagine a 'pose' in my head, i will then go pull as many references as i can where the body's limbs are roughly arranged how i want it and then draw those over and over until i feel like i have enough of a grasp on that anatomy to recreate it for myself. So please, dont listen to the haters, use those references or dont use them freely. the haters are idiots who are projecting their own fear of inadequacy and learning to be creative onto you. <3

In my next essay i will discuss how baffled and humbled i am by the way my love for geno's face has utterly transformed my artistic eye...

[luxyue]

knife boots — part iv.

xiao x reader, figure skating au

masterlist | previous | next

➥ NEW VOCAB ❝ loop ❞ an edge jump, taking off from a backward outside edge, and landing on the backward outside edge of the same foot.

iv. sigh, they're so oblivious

“Do… I have something on my face?”

A gentle voice interrupts your train of thought, which may or may not have been full of fantasizing about a certain dark-haired man who has literally been in front of your face this entire time.

“Are you okay? You seem, I don’t know, more spaced out lately.”

“Oh, umm...” Oh, if only he knew.

You told yourself that he was off-limits. That you were training together and that was it. That everything was strictlyprofessional.

But, unfortunately for you, the little crush that you had harbored for him during your first few years as a competitive skater has come back. Hitting you hard. Harder than your head has ever hit the ice during a bad practice. Lucky you.

It doesn’t help that he’s been noticeably kinder to you, ever since you begged him to help you. Although, that’s more likely because Xiao is actually kind of a nice person. Over the past few weeks, he’s probably been the harshest coach you’ve ever had… and he’s not even your real coach. But it’s evident that he truly cares about your well-being and progress.

Strangely enough, Zhongli, your actual coach, seems perfectly content with your arrangement, so much so that sometimes you barely see him throughout your day. Leaving you and Xiao alone. For hours.

Boop.

A finger pokes harshly at your forehead.

“What the heck—”

“Do we need to get you to the infirmary or something?” Xiao says.

What surprises you isn’t the fact that he just… poked your forehead, but rather the fact that he sounded genuinely concerned for you. Like, really concerned.

“I’m alright! Um, excuse me, just one second…!” And then you run off, faster than he can say ‘axel’.

Xiao is confused, to say the least.

…

You enter a safe zone that is definitely out of Xiao’s sight (the girls’ locker room), letting out a huge sigh of relief.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

“Holy mother of—Ganyu! Hi!” you exclaim, not realizing that there was, in fact, someone else in the locker room.

“Sorry if I scared you,” she replies sheepishly. Ganyu also trained at the rink very frequently, although you didn’t see her in the mornings often. You vaguely remember her saying something about how she values her sleep more. You can’t blame her.

“Weren’t you with Xiao just now?” she wonders.

“Well, I was…” you’re not really sure how to explain what just happened.

“Is he being mean again? We all know he’s sort of a grump, but if it’s really that bad, I’m sure you could talk to Zhongli,” she suggests.

“Oh! No, actually, he’s been pretty nice to me, to be honest,” you say.

Ganyu looks at you, puzzled. “Xiao and the word nice don’t really go together. Sure, he’s not really mean either, but… what’s the word… he’s just, aloof. Shenhe, Keqing, and I have known him for years, and the most we say to each other is probably only ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’,” she explains. “That’s why the three of us were so surprised when we realized how often you two have been together.”

You blink at her, unsure of what to say. Perhaps Ganyu’s words would only make you more delusional about him. Who knows.

“I can’t say he hasn’t had his asshole-y moments… but he’s not all bad. He’s helped me a lot, and… I owe him a lot, too,” you say.

She hums. “I can see that. Your triple lutz is looking amazing, by the way! I can’t believe you recovered all of your jumps so quickly. Honestly, I think he probably likes helping you. I can’t imagine what it’s like for him to have gone so long without a friend.”

You hesitate. “I’m not sure if he even considers us friends, to be honest…”

“Hm. Well, if anything, I think you’re the closest thing he has.”

“That’s… thanks, Ganyu.”

…

“Y/N! You’re okay. What was that, earlier?” Xiao exclaims, skating up to you. He’s close.

Like, really, really close.

Luckily for you, he seems to realize, and hurriedly backs away from you.

Luckily for him, you don’t notice the tinge of red on his cheeks, either.

“I’m fine! Don’t worry—and sorry about all of that, I think I was just tired. Anyway, ready to see me face plant attempting triple lutz-triple loop combos? Because I am—”

“Y/N, if you’re really that tired, then you should rest. There’s no use overtraining yourself,” he says sternly.

“Xiao, it’s alright, seriously.” You can’t help but add on, “Plus, I’m afraid my training partner will miss me, you know?”

This time, you do notice the violent shade of red that overtakes his face. You just don’t realize it’s not from training.

“Your face is all red. Maybe you should take a break,” you tease.

“That’s not… I’m fine. Anyway, you left your phone. It was ringing like crazy earlier,” he says, using the excuse to try to change the subject.

That’s odd. You changed your number when you moved here, and most of the people with your new one are all at the rink with you.

Curiosity killed the cat, and you check it. Thirteen missed calls, and a text from an unknown number.

“Is something wrong?” he asks, sensing your fear.

“It’s probably just spam or something,” you assure him.

It’s not.

‘They know, Y/N. Be safe. xx, CAT’

They know.

They know. They know.

Theyknowtheyknowtheyknowtheyknow.

Everything goes dark.

You’re lucky, though, and Xiao is there to catch your fall.

[yippieitsarvensart]

Tweels hc doodles + notes!

Goodness me, I've not been working on these for very long but here's all of what I've thought of within 2 days of thinking about them!! I basically started writing about them the moment I finished drawing "the fuck you brothers" post (9/24) (and today, 9/26) I totally have been thinking about them more after I wrote all this, so I will be continuing on with my hcs right here, under the cut :3 (keep in mind I have not yet played twst! If I get anything gravely wrong correct me!) (9/28, edit: I downloaded twst y'all...)

Both of the twins are autistic, just being on very different ends of er... intensity? Idk how to word that. I just mean that Floyd is someone who has trouble regulating his emotions and stims a lot. Jade doesn't stim as often, he probably would if he were infodumping about mushrooms/his terrariums or whatever else. I think I mean. That Jade suppressed his autistic tendencies by a lot to seem more like a gentleman, while Floyd doesn't really give much of a shit and probably doesn't even know he's autistic.

on that note they both have ADHD. AuDHD brothers.

Anyways as I way saying abt Floyd stimmies; He stims a LOT. Just, all the damn time. It gets so annoying for a lot of people and everyone knows he can't control it. His clingyness is also stimming, he's very touchy. A lot of stim toys don't actually help him but he does calm down significantly more when he's wearing headphones and listening to loud music. That's what stimulates him the most.

Jade only stims when excited, yeah I mentioned that. But did I mention he also stims a lot when stressed. In front of costumers, if he was stressed he might only fiddle with his fingers behind his back. But as soon as he gets away it's full body stimming time baby. Mans is not okay but he cannot let that mask slip!! (I forgot the word before, but I meant to say in my first dotpoint that jade is better at masking than Floyd!!)

Floyd mcr liker >_< (songs about depression and drugs to think about violence to!) Floyd also likes shit like "41 mins of roblox music" or any spongebob music. skull emoji.

Jade Laufey liker :33 (calm songs to think about violence to!)

Floyd likes dancing around in his room to music. Like really getting into it. Putting one song on loop and doing the same dance moves over and over again. (stimming) (oh my god I'm PROJECTING AGAIN stop....)

Jade likes drawing mushrooms. He's really good at drawing nature and when I say "good" I mean if you looked at it, you'd think it was a picture. Like abnormally good for someone who used to not even have paper available...

I saw this from a moot once on twitter I think, but they both (+ Azul) probably had a hard time adjusting to walking around everywhere instead of swimming when they first came onto land. And I think there was something about holding on to bars on stairs WAYY too tight because they feel so wobbly going up them. Same with like, escalators? and elevators? didn't fucking trust them. And they still don't sometimes... Adding onto this I think that they'd both get really frustrated at first with it. Like genuinely really upset; Floyd dramatically falling to the floor and flailing around on the verge of tears while Jade punches the ground over and over... They obviously got better at land things after a long while but for a bit they were just so. not okay LOL

I think for casual/home clothes they'd both be really into big fluffy jumpers. massive fucking huge fluffy shits. They'd be all over the texture and it would be so so texture /pos drooling emoji

I had a little thing that I thought of where I would give Floyd Heart shaped eye shines PLUS an extra smaller not heart eye shine. And giving Jade a square shaped shine with no extra shines. It just makes so much sense to me. Like I can't explain it very well but if you get it, you get me. Do you get me...

WHICH leads me to say then that when Floyd gets MAD he would have NO eye shines. Do you get me. I totally make sense right/. And Jade getting happy about anything even if it doesn't show on his face it would totally show in his eyes... Which also brings me back to something I wrote in my doodle notes with the pupils being like cats... OUGH I'M GOING INSANE DO I MAKE SENSE

another thing my twt moot said !! Floyd would hate necklaces/rings/other accessories and jewelry! It relates back to my point about Floyd hating the feeling of tight clothes, and things touching his skin too much. I feel like if he had say, a necklace on for like 0.1s he would rip it the fuck off, destroying the necklace in the process

Floyd: :3 (aggressive)

Floyd loving to squeeze people but hurting them is 90% of the time on purpose hurting and 10% accidental hurting and when it IS accidental he gets so upset about it. I like to think Floyd is the more emotional out of the two... just so many emotions in that boy. like he just !! wants to give you love !!! but he's so strong he breaks ur ribs !!!! many of ur ribs!! ur honestly surprised you haven't punctured a lung yet!!!

On that note they BOTH are extremely touch starved. Floyd would fucking LOVE it if someone were to lay down on top of him for hours he would feel so squished!! and warm and nice!! and comfy!

Jade on the other hand, LOVES holding hands. holding ONTO something holding onto someONE.

Jade is a gift giver (love language) I bet you can't guess what Floyd is

His love language is Physical touch. Yeah

Jade getting people way too many gifts when it's a special occasion for them because he thinks they might think it's weird if he gets them a gift on any other day.

Floyd hyperpop liker (just overall really likes loud thrashy music or whatever)

Floyd also really got into those games where you have to beat the shit out of a dummy. He doesn't like ones where you have to TIME a hit to make it work (makes him annoyed bc he can't do it) Games like Pou I think....

While Jade enjoys colour by number or those hue games? just doing it in his free time.

[karoiseka]

16) Third-rate

((ahhhhhh! Actually getting one 100% posted before bed!! ... even if it's entirely too late!! Thank you @newty for letting me borrow your characters!! <3 Very vague post 6.0 timeframe, but not dealing with anything spoilers))

The storm raged outside the doors of the Bobbing Cork, though inside the lights shone warmly against the gloom.  It was a quiet evening, with custom being as slow as it ever got–which meant not very.  Traffic had picked up between the Shroud and Coerthas, and the outpost of Revenant’s Toll having built up over the years and being almost as close as Ishgard meant almost all travelers coming from that side of Eorzea inevitably ended up at the inn.

Through the doors came an adventurer–not an uncommon sight by any means–bundled up against the weather, pack upon their back, hood pulled up to cover the face.  Unremarked, they headed to the counter like anyone else, before shaking the covering from their head.  Dark hair shone in the light, blue like the storm outside tinting the edges.  Aeluuin the innkeep shouted in surprised recognition, catching the attention of a few of the patrons, who now looked at the newcomer with curiosity.  

The lady chatted amicably for several minutes with the staff, a friendly argument obviously arising as her coin was pushed back to her once, twice, three times before she sighed and put the gil back into the pouch at her side.  It was not often that someone would be allowed to keep their gil, instead of paying fairly for their lodging, but this adventurer must be someone who was owed a favor.

Placing her bag in the corralled area with the rest, the wood wailer nodded to her amicably before his own eyes grew wide, and he adjusted some of the belongings so her’s was closest to him, and most protected.  An amused smile graced her lips as she pulled a harp out from its case attached to the pack.  The filigree walking stick that had been in her hand went with the pack as well–some noticing that it looked more akin to a mage’s staff than a fancy hiking aid.

Whispers had started as they saw the instrument, the musician finding a spot to play–and gathering some odd looks when she balanced on the upstairs rail, looping a foot around the tines and tuning the harp.

“Who’s this third-rate fool that’s about to play?” the words were loud enough for almost the whole room to hear, but it only made the adventurer's mouth twitch into a smile, her blue eyes scanning the room.  The man’s refill came with a gentle smack upside the back of his head from his server.

“Hush you, if you don’t know who that is now, then you’ll figure it out soon enough!” Y’lantaa scowled down at the patron, green eyes flashing, before turning to help another guest with their order.  All around, people adjusted their seats to try and glimpse the Miqo’te who was preparing to play.  Most assumed (partially right) that it was how she was paying for her fare, but the few that recognized her already were watching wide-eyed that they were about to get this performance at no cost.

The harp strings sang, the opening chord one of joy and happiness, yet a calm tune to match the storm.  Conversations drifted off, chatter dulled, and a lull overtook the establishment as the true magic of a full Bard resonated against the rafters.  As the first song came to a close, a rustling of hushed whispers wove a background to the applause.  Could it really be her?  Why would she want to play in this small hamlet?  Surely she could easily be the guest of the Seedseer! Or the Sultana or the Lords of Ishagard!  What was she doing here? For one and all had figured out the mysterious stranger was none other than Karoiseka O’dayla; archer, bard, Saviour of Ishgard, Eorzea’s Champion, Liberator of Ala Mhigo and Doma, Savior of the Star.  Warrior of Light.

Heedless of the whispers, she launched into another song–one unheard in this world, but a simple shepherd's song sang in a community much like this.  It was familiar and not, one could almost hum along before the tune changed just subtly from what expectation allowed.  One after another, she dazzled one and all–mixing songs they knew with tunes they would never hear again.

After a bell or so, Karo felt a nudge on her shoulder, and a familiar face looking down with a smile.  The harp was held loosely for the moment–but not forgotten as she turned to half-hug L’selle, come to bring her a drink.  Mischief could wait for another night, for tonight was a night of magic, and after downing the cider, was woven once more.

[thewrittingpan]

Random Head cannons:

Lilia

I firmly believe that he would have a Mountian Dew addiction- sure I think other sodas are possible too like Dr. Pepper but there’s this “dad clock” that has haunted every divorced father I’ve met and it’s a Mountain Dew clock and it always hangs on the wall where the kitchen meets the dinning table. Don’t ask me why it’s a trend in my life that’s between me and my therapist but I feel that Lilia would probably own one in his gamer room.

Speaking of which he’s got a damn gammer room. I’ve admittedly been out of the loop event and plot wise since the release of ignihide’s chapter (I can not spell forgive my dyslexic ass), but it doesn’t matter if it’s just his bedroom, a whole separate room, a streaming room or not. It has a fancy custom built pc, one that lights up and the whole room is themed to match. It’s very well put together and could probably pay my college tuition with the merchandise he may collect.

I personally think that since Lilia is so old, he tends to hoard things. It obviously snuck into my fic Ring of Mushrooms with just the whole house being a cluttered mess of history. Some of it is me trying not to be a hoarder myself but living nicknack because I am just a bird in a human shape, but he just has a lot of things he forgets about.

Call it time blindness, forgetfulness, or sentimentality but he just keeps pictures, books, gifts, random things his sons have drug into the house or stuffed into their pockets. He has jars of buttons that Malleus collected as a toddler, the shiny rocks Silver picked up by the stream, he’s the type of guy to have a full box of the same pencil because it’s his favorite and there was a rumor it was being discontinued.

I also think that he has a soft spot for pinks and pastels especially when the boys were young. Mint/sage greens were a common choice for blankets, hats, and mittens. He also probably color coded the boys. It doesn’t matter if they were the same age or not just for ease and avoiding fights he totally did.

Lilia probably has a bunch of abandoned hobbies. Things he did long enough to have a humans level of decent but not great. if he were to “relearn��� it he would appear to be a savant to a real beginner. Some of these hobbies include: Calligraphy, Crochet, Knitting, Fish lure making, Astronomy, Woodworking

Hobbies he would be bad at:

Drawing/Painting, he has a bad understanding of color but a great eye for depth and detail. The forms are always very off putting though.

He tried birdwatching he isn’t bad at it per se, but he often gets interrupted or caught up in something that is not the birds.

He wanted to do quilting and scapbooking, it’s not that he can’t do them either but he always forgets the projects. The scrapbooks mostly the quilts he has a lot more practice with as baby shower gifts for neighbors and for his own kids. Yet his stiches can be sloppy same with the binding.

He has a fondness for spinel gems he likes the wide array of colors like most gems but he likes a lot of the vibrant pinks they come in

Malleus

I think malleus would have a habit of forgetting to eat if not reminded or brought food. I cannot explain why I think this I just have a hunch.

I think Malleus is great at word puzzles and puzzles in general, it’s not inherently that he’s super smart but he just knows patterns more often than not. However he is quite horrible at pop culture references and trivia. For example he is good at Wordle, Sudoku, crosswords, and connections, but since crosswords and connections often have pop culture references those are the ones he struggles with most.

When he was young he collected things. I mean a lot of things, buttons, pins, rocks, pinecones, leaves, he pressed and dried flowers, half of his room was just wall-to-wall collections. This continued on until now but it’s just gotten more mild, though it flares up during stressful times.

He’s very good at quilting if I had to assign a good trade themed hobby. I’m open to other needle crafts like embroidery or cross-stitch but I think quilting is something that gets done during school breaks and he often sews in former button collections to them.

I think he has an aversion to some kind of food, whether it be things like a texture like he doesn’t like the feeling of bananas or the taste of pees makes him nauseous. I don’t think it’s an allergy or anything just something that physically makes him feel like death is the only solution to the minor inconvenience.

He’s a peridot guy sure emeralds work too but if he’s being honest the peridots are cuter

Silver

One time he had a talking to about throwing sand. He was only three at the time but it had to be revisited after an incident with an ant hill when he was four.

He sleeps in a funeral-showing sort of way. His hands clasped on his chest while he lays on his back. He rarely moves in his sleep, but cheese can cause him to sleep walk.

Speaking of which he has a mild lactose intolerance. He doesn’t care to actively avoid dairy but he often forgets he has it. On many occasions he has eaten too much dairy and was genuinely confused by the way he was having tummy troubles.

He cries at weddings.

He doesn’t cry at funerals.

Silver has this hobby of wanting to bird hunt but falls asleep too often. He does however have some half okay drawing skills. Enough to have an upper hand in Pictionary maybe but a good hand on proportions and the details are messy but it works.

He has a fondness for pearls it’s the type of jewelry he thinks is the most beautiful.

[lumi-klovstad-games]

Hey, 343. We call "expanded universes" that for a reason.

It also hurt for those of us who actually LIKED Fireteam Osiris and saw potential in the characters. Halo 5 sets up a neat "Brothers in Arms" relationship between Chief and Locke like Chief had with Arbiter in 3, maybe even a little bit of Master & Apprentice, with Locke standing to learn a lot in the days and battles to come from the much older and more experienced Master Chief. But then the next game comes and... wait where is everyone? 343 wants me to buy more books?! A lot of fans already had to buy half a library's worth just to grock Halo 5, and here's 343 repeating that mistake again!

The Halo games really have just become a means by which 343 plugs the Halo novels. "There's a book that explains that" is the constant refrain I hear these days. No. I WANT THE GAMES TO EXPLAIN IT. The games are the only thing literally EVERY Halo fan buys. EXPLAIN IT IN THE GAMES.

I will give the audio logs in Infinite SOME credit for answering SOME questions I had, but mostly it was used to introduce irrelevant subplots that actually WOULD be better as a novel. Escharum doing his damnedest to keep the ragtag and ill-fitting family that are the Banished together with the disappearance of his protege Atriox, a warrior who was like a son to him, knowing full well he doesn't have Atriox's charisma and he can't maintain the cult of personality Atriox cultivated at the core of the Banished in the same way? Or a fireteam of Spartans, feeling lost and surviving without any real support, realizing that they'll likely die one way or another, deciding to risk it all on a single desperate all-or-nothing Hail Mary attempt at cutting the head off the snake, only to fail, with their only monument being their broken bodies, and their armor that Chief has to scavenge for gear with little if any knowledge of what happened to his comrades? These are plots TAILOR MADE for a spin-off novel. But instead a HUGE CHUNK of the total audio logs gets devoted to this kind of stuff, instead of explaining where Blue and Osiris are, if they survived, and setting up a reunion in a later story — you know, something actually relevant to Master Chief's story that connects with the plot players are already familiar with.

I get that 343 wants the Halo Universe to feel like this big connected thing while keeping the "mysterious" feel of the original trilogy, but for 343 that takes the form of locking players out of the loop: deny the players critical information necessary to understanding characters or the plot (even if the players can operate without that information) and then demand they cough up $8-15 a pop to gain access to that information (or just wait until Halopedia editors inevitably do). What they keep forgetting is that the original trilogy told players everything they needed to know as the game naturally progressed. The Bungie novels were interesting and sundry, but nothing they related was essential — not even The Fall of Reach (often considered the most important book in the expanded universe) was necessary to understand anything in the games proper. And then, when Bungie actually made a GAME about Reach, they made a point to showcase a separate cast of characters on a different part of the planet, playing a different role in the battle, with an entirely different team dynamic, all for the express purpose of keeping it so that the book wasn't essential to understanding what was going on. That's the secret that 343 just doesn't get: keep the books interesting, but keep them at arm's length — the GAME should tell the players everything they need to know.

More than game mechanics or graphics, if 343 can learn to tell stories in the games the way Bungie did, and learn to keep the books away from the games, then that alone will MASSIVELY improve Halo's appeal and bring back much of what was lost.

[dailycharacteroption]

Races Among the Stars 9: Samsaran

We’ve covered samsarans before on the blog in their First Edition Pathfinder form, but much like the perpetually reincarnating people, things have come full-circle with us covering their Starfinder version (at least until we start doing 2nd Edition ancestries and the upcoming Starfinder 2E’s take on them, again, paralleling the endless loop of reincarnation)

But this also closes the loop in a different way as well, as this is the last of the Pathfinder throwbacks that were introduced to the game in Starfinder Alien Character Deck, which was little more than useful flash cards for remembering the traits of various species, either for forgetful players or perhaps more usefully as a way to help a GM quickly switch out the species of pre-generated statblocks on the fly.

Either way, all of those aforementioned species also got reprinted in both Interstellar Species and in Starfinder Enhanced, adding some actual lore to how those species actually fit into the galaxy of the far future, which is nice. (Does anyone remember when the general consensus for where kobolds were was “They all vanished/died with Golarion”? Easily the most boring possible answer and I’m glad they quashed that with some interesting if borderline retcon meta-joke new lore.

Buuuut we’re getting of topic, let’s talk about samsarans!

True to their name, which is based on the concept of the endless cycle of life, death, and rebirth in Hindu and Buddhist traditions, samsarans were a clade of humans born into a cycle of constant reincarnation, often starting out born as ordinary humans to samsaran parents that give them up to normal human adoptive parents, only for them to reincarnate as samsarans the first time they die, and so on and so forth.

Unlike other species and souls that choose reincarnation in the afterlife, samsarans retain a lof of memories from their past lives, though they are often hazy and incomplete, like vivid dreams to their new incarnation. Even with such gaps, however, that knowledge gives them access to information and skills they wouldn’t normally possess, and helps them infer who they used to be, and how to incorporate the wisdom gleaned from those memories into their daily lives and towards a greater state of enlightenment in preparation for the next life. (Which, ironically, is kinda the opposite of what one normally WANTS to do when one subscribes to the idea of the real-life idea of samsara, but that’s neither here nor there).

Now, you may have noticed that earlier I described that samsarans “were” a clade of humans. That wasn’t a slip of the keyboard on my part, because now that samsarans are no longer bound necessarily to one specific world, their pact with Pharasma has changed slightly. Now, samsarans can be born on any world… and to any sapient species, though without homebrewing, these rare non-human samsarans have the same statistics as others of their kind, though with homebrew, well, that just opens up all sorts of new doors, doesn’t it?

Samsarans, unsurprisingly, appear to be humans (or members of their parent species) with pale skin and hair in shades of white, blue, or purple, as well as clear blood and seemingly pupilless eyes.

While there were once enclaves of samsarans that used divination to locate newly-reborn samsarans and bring them into the fold, such things are much more rare now in a far future where one’s already-rare species is spread out across the galaxy. As such, modern samsarans are more likely to simply adopt their parent culture, though samsaran culture still exists in the form of writings and recordings, both publicly available and hidden away that the young can seek out for guidance and a sense of cultural identity with the rest of their kind.

Of course, the advent of multimedia and VI means that this can also be rather disconcerting. Imagine if your past self created a VI or even AI simulacrum of themselves and hid it away for a future reincarnation. Imagine meeting someone that is both you and also not you and the same time. Probably would take a bit to get used to, though on the other hand, Vlogs and extensive digital memoirs from a past can help a young samsaran better connect with those memories, and possibly go about continuing the goals of their past self, which some samsarans do.

Samsarans bear the wisdom and cunning of multiple past lives, but their bodies are somewhat frail (probably all that lack of hemoglobin).

However, they are especially resilient to magical and supernatural effects that target their lifeforce directly, and they’re surprisingly good at bouncing back from injury and disease even if the initial infection tends to knock them on rears.

Their curious eyes also also surprisingly good at absorbing light in dark conditions, letting them see better in limited light.

Samsarans also have a bit of inherent magic, able to breach language barrier one-way, stabilize the dying, and share their memories with others.

Additionally, their memories from past lives include some practical skills as well, though the exact specifics vary between individuals, as their old souls latch onto different things from their past lives.

Much like the thyrs of yesterday’s entry, samsarans are well-equipped for a myriad of smart-guy classes and builds, with mystics being a natural fit due to their half-divine, half-occult schtick meshing well with samsarans theme-wise. However, technomancers, mechanics, biohackers, skill-based envoyed and operatives are also good picks. Precog and witchwarper also share some lovely themes with samsarans with their focus on possible paths in life and such. Meanwhile, like thyrs, they also struggle a bit with melee combat, though for different reasons, since it’s constitution they lack instead of strength. As such, combat-oriented samsarans prefer ranged soldiers, solarians, and evolutionists, while nanocytes and vanguards are a bit of a harder sell, albeit not impossible. Despite their frailty, samsarans can do a lot to overcome that weakness and be very effective no matter what class they choose to take.

And that does it for this week! Tune in Monday for another week of archetypes and character options!

[gryficowa]

Okay, I'm not a clairvoyant (Although it often happens that my suspicions/feelings come true, although they are not always accurate)

While thinking about all this, including what impact the genocide in Palestine will have in the future, I came to a few thoughts… I know, it's strange to think about the future, especially when you are a zoomer, but well… Often my head thinks more than should

Well, it may be that Israel's crimes will be blamed on non-religious Jews (What happened after Hitler's crimes, when many religious fanatics attacked atheists and agnostics, and their explanation was that Hitler was an atheist so atheists are evil), we can already see how Zionists attack non-Zionist Jews, but in the future, right-wing Jews with religious fanaticism will start attacking non-religious people and use Benyamin Natajahu/IDF as arguments

It won't get any better with Islamic fanatics either, they will use the genocide of the Palestinians as an argument that Muslims are persecuted all over the world (And this is dangerous in Muslim countries)

It is simply possible that in many Muslim countries the rules will become stricter (as in Iran, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia), although I am more concerned about the terror of religious fanatics against other groups… They are already doing it, but I feel that the genocide in Palestine (including Lebanon and Yemen) may greatly worsen the situation and Israel's crimes will be used as a defensive shield (As Zionists do when talking about genocide, they use the holocaust shield) to any criticism

This chain will simply continue and I doubt that in many decades there will not be an even greater genocide (Because the genocide in Palestine has already surpassed the Holocaust itself…), it is a dangerous loop that will repeat itself and I doubt that another "We cannot "d"Do it again"" will work (Because we didn't stop the genocide in Palestine, so will we stop future genocides?)

Because let's face it… It only took a few generations for history to repeat itself, so will "Next Time" be like that again? Generational trauma leads to destruction because subsequent generations have distorted facts, and it does not help that society loves to censor history because "Children are too young, to know about it" and then it goes on through subsequent generations who increasingly fail to notice the red flags

And then history comes full circle, because no one wants to break this destructive chain, and fascism returns to the game, and the society does not see it and will find various excuses such as "It's just opinions", or something like that, and in response to any criticism they will do everything to stop it. you as someone who sees fascism were seen in a bad light, never them

So yes, strenuous "defending children" against the truth and historical atrocities leads to the distortion of the entire history…

And Christians? Well, they will probably be the same mess… They probably won't change and will still be bigots towards other faiths, but they will pretend that they are not and their shield will be the Bible (which is the usual… There is probably no chance that they will change , because one thing is certain, Christian fanatics are the most constant among religious fanaticism…)

I don't know if Christians will go back to what they thought about Jews before the Holocaust, but I know one thing… It will be an old swamp and their constant ignorance, because let's face it, when it comes to being bigots, Christians have no equal…

I know… My vision is bleak… But that's just what you can tell from the history from the Holocaust to the genocide in Palestine, history itself is distorted, and religious fanatics and fascism itself use tragedy to terrorize many groups, so I don't know if next generations will not end the same…

Moreover, the effects of the climate crisis will not help us avoid all this… Less land means more stress, and fascism loves it because it can blame it on some group

No matter how bleak the future may be, we cannot let go, because if we do, it will only get worse

Hope motivates us and if it is gone, all is lost

It just doesn't matter how dark the thoughts in my head are, even that can't stop people from changing for the better

[jessjustplay]

Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin Game Review

December 20, 2024

1 = Meh, 2 = Okay, 3 = Good, 4 = Really Good, 5 = Amazing

Story 3/5

It's called "Final Fantasy Origin" for a reason. The story takes place before the events of the first Final Fantasy game, with the ending of Stranger of Paradise leading to the start of Final Fantasy I.

Your party members are known as Strangers and they are essentially dropped into worlds they don't recognize. They are literal strangers, only knowing they have a mission to complete.

In the beginning, you (Jack and your team) are recognized as the Warriors of Light by the town of Cornelia and are tasked with defeating Chaos. As the game progresses, you begin to catch glimpses of your past and the truth of your reality comes to light.

Characters 3/5

Jack is really funny. I know he's not supposed to be, but he is. Jack is so stubborn and hyper-focused on his mission of defeating Chaos, clenching his fist to his heart saying how it gives his life meaning to have something to fight. Very emotional, as most men are. He is dismissive to his team, but they recognize that's just how he is and they don't try to change him. It's cute.

Neon stood out to me, not just because of her incredible voice actress (I loved her voice) but because she seemed to be a student out of them all. "I can learn from this" was something she said at the end of battles which I really liked. She's give Page of Pentacles vibes, which is a Tarot card symbolizing a student or someone willing to learn new things.

Jed was the chatterbox of the group and he came off as the comedic relief. It was a nice balance to Jack's seriousness. Ash seemed less emotional than Jack but still serious with a focused mindset.

Sophia is one of the most beautiful video game characters I have ever seen?? Total Queen of Swords, for sure (an older/wise woman with a stoic personality and intellectual knowledge).

Overall, the team worked well together with each personality adding a little something to the whole. I mentioned in my Finished/Endgame Stats post that the dynamic seemed a bit strange but I don't mean that negatively. I didn't get any "family vibes" like I often do with other RPG parties, but there was still an essence of united teamwork.

Narrative 5/5

I enjoyed the cutscenes in this game. Each filled the story with more information. There were a lot of flashbacks and it's interesting how, in the beginning, the flashbacks are short with missing information (such as slurred words or blurred and pixelated faces). It's a great tactic because it shows you that the characters have fragments of memories but they're unclear. By the end of the game, you end up seeing these flashbacks in full length and clarity, which is NICE.

To progress the game, you go through Missions which you start from a game menu. Each mission is the same formula: intro cutscene, dungeon, boss fight, outro cutscene. I didn't mind that it was the same each time. I like a good pattern when it works and this worked for me.

Keeping in mind that the story is a big time loop, I'm understanding of the narrative for what it is. Time is a weird concept not just to live through but to write about, so I don't nitpick stories about around time, timelines, or time jumping. I just enjoy it for what it is and I found this story and narrative enjoyable.

Gameplay/Controls 5/5

The game was easy to maneuver and there were plenty of save points! I don't have any complains really, but some minor things were a bit weird, like opening treasure chests and locked doors with the touch pad on my PS4 controller. But... I know that's just kind of a thing with this controller? So whatever.

Attacks were R1 and R2 and there was a dodge roll and shield. I could jump down certain areas but not all and I could never climb over or jump over things. There was a menu and then a bigger menu and then a main main menu? Basically, there were a lot of menus lol

Oh, and I like that we could pause or skip cutscenes, but it was weird that even when the game was paused the game time would keep going. I didn't like that.

Battle System 3/5

Battle system was a bit hard sometimes. There seemed to be a lot going on. I could only switch between 2 jobs in battles, which was fine. I wish I could have kept my white magic with all the jobs but I know that's not how jobs work. Also the R2 magic wheel thingie was annoying sometimes. It's funny because the mages (black mage and white mage) were my favorite jobs to use but I swear I had no idea how to select my spells using that wheel. I just sort of winged it and hoped for the best. Thank God my MP was somehow replenishing itself because I needed it.

Customization/Leveling Up 4/5

I liked the job system in this game. You basically can learn any job and it's not difficult (on Story Casual mode) to level them up to max. I remember see Square-Enix publish posts on their social media where they were recognizing jobs with popular characters and they would always include Jack in their selection. Hilarious.

Art (Music & Graphics) 5/5

Probably the coolest thing about this game is how you can see other FF locations! Final Fantasy 12's tomb, Final Fantasy X's Mt. Gagazet, and FInal Fantasy IX's Evil Forest are just some of them. Tonberries, cactuars, and malboros also make appearances throughout the dungeons which was cool. There's just something about seeing these classic FF creatures! Music was beautiful, as you'd expect from a Final Fantasy game. The characters also had very nice designs.

Enjoyment 4/5

I liked this game, even though the battles were confusing sometimes. I enjoyed seeing this origin story and how it wraps up as the beginning of FF1. I was excited for each mission to see which FF dimension/location I would be going to next.

Final Score 32/40

Overall, this is a fun game! I played on Story Casual mode so I know things are likely different on the alternate modes. Still, if you have played a lot of FF games and enjoy the series, Stranger of Paradise will be a fun gaming experience because you'll recognize a lot of the locations. Jack is very funny and I enjoyed getting to know him and the other characters. It's a good origin story that leads directly to the first Final Fantasy's events!

[spudgoddess]

Back in 2020, I discovered a YouTube channel by a guy calling himself Mitten Squad. He did all kinds of crazy gaming challenges. Most of them were for Fallout or Elder Scrolls games. What they all had in common was that they were hilarious. Mitten Squad, or Paul as he also went by (his real name was Robert Joseph Wilson), had a dark, dry, deadpan sense of humor sprinkled with a bit of self-deprecation and a little silliness. I watched his videos constantly. 

Some of my favorite lines include: “I hid from Ringo, by hiding in Ringo.” (Can You Beat Fallout New Vegas with only Boxing Gloves?)

"You're probably wondering which is the boy and which is the girl. I won't give it away, but I will tell you this: the knife is a whore." (Can You Beat Skyrim With Only A Fork?)

“I spy, with my little eye, a vile whore, who needs to die.” (Context: he’s referring to an elderly woman NPC whose very presence always seemed to crash his Fallout 3 playthroughs).

“Explosions were happening. People named Paul were screaming. It was a mess.” (Can You Beat Lonesome Road Without Taking Any Damage?)

"With enough notches on my pistol to spell psychopath in Braille…” (Can You Beat Fallout New Vegas With Only Big Iron?)

“And when I say there were a lot of ants, I mean a lot.of ants. I wouldn't have said a lot of ants if I didn't mean a lot of ants.” (Can You Beat Fallout New Vegas with only Boxing Gloves?)

“You can get a two for one special on Raiders by using the code GRENADE at checkout." (I can never recall the episode, I just remember that it’s Fallout 3.)

“I know a guy who knows a guy, and both of those guys are me.” (Not sure which episode. Also, obligatory Transformers reference, this sounds like something Swindle would say XD).

There are so, so many more. But you get the idea.

There were signs early on that all was not well in Mittenland. He showed a brief clip of arguing with an air conditioner in a hotel room while drunk. Another time, he showed the aftermath of accidentally dropping a liquor bottle into his bathroom sink, breaking the sink. On another occasion, he displayed about 15, maybe 20 or so empty liquor bottles.

I remember thinking maybe he was being edgy, or maybe he’d saved those bottles up over a very long time. But I was wrong.

In 2021, he let his fans know that he was taking a break for several months to work on his issues surrounding alcohol. He’d been struggling for at least nine months, getting blackout drunk 3-4 times a week. Yes, a week. Like so many others, I realized he wasn’t joking, but really had a serious issue with his drinking. He was away for several months, and he seemed like he was getting or doing better. I didn’t follow his Twitter, nor was I on his Discord channel, so I was a little out of the loop. Quite some time later, I saw on the fan subreddit that Paul had been hospitalized for alcohol -related issues, and this was not the first time for him, either. He assured us he was getting better and wasn’t going to stop fighting.

Paul lost his battle with alcoholism in December of 2023. The official cause of death was pancreatitis related to his illness. He was 27.

I was working when I found out. I was on break, decided to look at Reddit, and the announcement  had been made. Since the internet is often full of said hoaxes, I stubbornly refused to believe it at first. But Paul’s dad confirmed it. I cried for the rest of the day.

Please, everyone, at the risk of sounding like a cliche or a commercial, if you or someone you love is struggling with any kind of mental health issue, including substance abuse, please, please get help.Even if you think to yourself ‘Oh it’s not that bad, I just like to have fun and drink a little too much.’ Please get help.

I struggle with mental health issues (C-PTSD, rejection sensitivity, and possible BPD–jury still out on that one, as ADHD can mimic it in some ways and I haven’t been tested yet) and I know the misery they can cause. Thankfully, I have a strong support system, and I know Paul did too. I like to think that if the pancreatitis hadn’t done him in, he’d have won the fight.

Rest in peace, Paul.

We love you.

[shiawasekai]

For Nela:

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? 

Aaaah, thank you!!! 💕 These are very interesting, let's see...

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

The list would be ridiculously long, she was a known troublemaker even before she intentionally started to cause trouble as a teenager. I did mention before how she often got the kids in her area involved on overly dangerous games, so let's search for another specific example.

Nela had her inquisitive mind even as a child, which means she would often grow terribly curious about the most questionable things. Up to that point, it could be said to be normal child behavior. She would, however, not stop at asking her parents.

Her thirst for answers would lead her to sneak on the local library to get her hands on books otherwise forbidden to someone her age, or improvise "experiments" of her own design. Once or twice she went on her own to the oppossite side of Carpenden entirely in her search for answers, scaring her parents to death who thought she had been kidnapped or gotten in some kind of accident.

They would always plead with her to stop, and even more so to stop involving her brother and/or the other children in the neighbourhood. It never worked.

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

As someone who is very determined to make informed and rational choices (to the point of sometimes trapping herself in logic loops), she would decidedly seek clarification every time. Especially if it's an important matter, she is the kind to have a list of questions prepared by the time you're done talking.

Any situation that would force her to withold her questions would, in fact, actively get on her nerves. Knowing is the wisest choice doesn't make it any more pleasant as far as she's concerned. Politics can be one such circumstances, which she takes just as well as a sour grape. She'll be all smiles during the situation itself and proceed to complain her heart out once she's in private.

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth

Nela herself would say no, she would rather have the unpleasant truth. In most circumstances, she would be right. Her own nature would lead her to seek the truth out anyway sooner than later, so there is little to no point in delaying it as far as she's concerned.

The truth of the matter, and what she doesn't want to admit is... well, she is much more fragile than she believes. There are unpleasant truths she isn't capable of facing outright, and only a certain sense of self-preservation leads her to avoid seeking answers. She'll justify it to herself with apparently rational excuses (the crusades are more important right now, etc), but she is just running away.

A good example is the time slip situation. She starts to realize something is off very soon, as early as act 1 she already has some suspicions even if her memories are still sluggish at places. She proceeds to dodge any chance to get confirmation on her fears, up to actively avoiding any conversation about Andoran with Sosiel (and outright seeking excuses to run away if he tries to bring up her family); because that's not a truth she's ready to face. She only faces it in Act 4 because Areelu's explanation sneaks the information on her.

In fact, even once the truth comes out and even knowing with full certainty what happened, it takes her many years to gather the willpower to return home and visit her parents' graves. She would probably end up forced to do it by Sosiel's wedding.