#so many people so close to super good points about the problems with dnd | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

celestialmango · 3 years ago

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Reader insert,Unwilling prey, digestion and fatal vore(not you tho, you're safe...kinda) soft vore, safe vore, fallout au, super mutant variant Pred, Pred's a jerk, but a jerk that gets rid of your raider problem.

🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡🥭🍡

You sigh as your toes flex digging into the dirty cracked asphalt of the road, you had set up from your town established around the vault to act as a merchant/messenger and had been doing well... until you ran into some raiders, luckily you managed to bargain your way out with your life, there were too many to take out on your own, you're lucky you still had your hidden gun and ammo, not so lucky they took your armor, your goods and your shoes.

As you continue on your way back to the vault settlement you hear a commotion behind you and feel the ground shake getting increasingly close surprisingly fast, you don't even have time to turn around before you're about nine feet in the air, scooped up by a large greenish arm and sat on a shoulder looking behind to see a large group of super mutants chasing the one hauled you into the air while they ran you don't have much time to think about what's going on before your improvised steed booms at you.

"SHOOT HUMAN" you react instinctively and start shooting the pursuers while the mutant carrying you runs, you're glad you had been training as a sharp shooter before you got frozen because it's coming in handy now as you fire bullet after bullet, reloading when empty at the hostile mutants hitting your mark everytime and crippling them, some loose legs, some lose arms and some you straight up headshot, "HAHAHA ATA HUMAN!" The one carrying you yells.

Your gun clicks empty as you finally run out of bullets but by then there's only two left the one who's shoulder you're riding and the last one chasing them, they skid to a stop and lightly toss you on top of a good 15ft tall rail car that stands to the side of the road having rolled off the nearby track ages ago, you finally get a good look at the mutant while they turn and bullrush the other, their long hair blowing flowing in the wind as they tackle the other to the ground and start brutalizing them with their fists....wait

Don't super mutants eat humans? And since when did a super mutant have hair, shit there's no way for you to get down without injuring yourself and no one around for you to call out to for help, you don't even have the time to think of how to escape before you hear a splattering crack and crunch of bone, you quickly turn back and see the hulking mash of muscle stand with blood dripping off their hands as they turn around and you get a better look at their face that has a splash of red caking it as they approach the train car grinning wildly. You notice even more details that don't make them look like your typical super mutant and honestly they actually kinda look similar to fan art you saw before of people's half orc characters only without the pointy ears and tusks...god you miss DND.

You shouldn't have let yourself get distracted, they're already at the side of the car, they stretch their arms out to you, "Come ere human. _______ ain't gonna kill you" you blanch 'n-no thank you, I'm fine up here.' the super mutant scoffs "bah, human can come to _______ or _______ can tip metal thing over and human can go smack on the ground. Human can choose easy way or painful way."...shit, you really don't have a choice here do you? You scooch over to the edge the super mutant is waiting at and swing your legs over the side.

The super mutant who's name you guess is ______ grasps your waist with both hands and lifts you off the roof of the ancient train car but they don't set you down just yet, you notice they're staring at your feet "where's humans shoes?" You answer them nervously and slightly confused 'o-oh. Um.. well I kinda got robbed by raiders a few miles back.' the mutant looks at your face intently and you sweat nervously "how many?" 'wha?' "How many raiders human" 'oh, there were five. W-why?' _____ grins at you viciously setting you further on edge before they say "human do _____ favor, _____ return it" just like that all your tension leaves you 'ah, so are you going to put me down or?'

_____ sets you back on their shoulder, "human point way, _____ follow" you guess this is just how your day is going to go now, 'ok.' you point out the direction you came from and _____ takes off in a run.

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_____ skids to a stop again just 50 ft from the raider camp just as night falls giving them excellent cover, they bend down and set you down in the open back of a brokendown pick-up truck before shutting the trunk, you can clearly see out the back and side windows as the mutant grins at you and cracks their knuckles "_____ be right back." They say before standing up and storming into the camp with a battlecry, you try to open the truck bed but it's jammed, guess you have no choice but to wait for _____ to get back.....you hope they don't die as you hear the gunfire begin.

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The gunfire finally stops after half an hour, it's about 6 more minutes with you having your face buried in your knees before you hear groaning and loud footsteps, your head snaps up when the back of the truck is torn open and you stare like a deer in headlights, "ur-urp _-____ back...urrgggh" they groan in discomfort one hand on their obscenely large and squirming gut, the other arm reaching in and pulling you out of the truck, you stare in horror as you see hand prints and faces push out from their stomach the sounds of muffled obscenities and screams almost silenced by the loud gurgles as their guts makes quick work of them eventually going still as it starts to shrink.

_____ clicks their fingers in front of your face "oy, human" you snap out of your daze and look them in the eyes, 'ah' "no more raiders." 'uh-huh' is all you can say, you turn to walk towards the now empty camp before a large hand clamps down on your shoulder, "where human think they're going?" You look at them nervously 'i-i was going to search their camp for my stuff they stole from me' they look at you with a wild expression "human not going anywhere." 'wha? But you don't plan to eat me too?' they grin wider "_____ never said that." You squeak in fear before _____'s expression slips, they burst out laughing and let go "HAHAHA human should see humans face!"

Your expression goes flat as you stare at them for their cruel joke blankly before gasping in surprise as they drag you closer by your arm and press your hand to the softening, still shrinking bulge of their gut, "human do ____ another favor and ____ won't kill human" you feel a chill run down your spine and you start rubbing their stomach while you shiver in fear. "Ahhh, that's a good human."

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It doesn't take long before there's no sign there was ever anyone in _____'s stomach, they grab the back of your shirt and drag you toward their face "time for dessert!" 'BUT YOU SAID-' you squeak out before they interrupt "____ knows what _____ said" then they shove your face into their gaping maw and swallow, groaning in pleasure at your taste and pinning your arms to your sides as they push you in further swallowing again the strong muscles of their throat having no trouble dragging you in further as you shriek and squirm, they tilt their head up hands tight around your legs as they take a deep gulp, you sink in up to your knees, your head pops into their now empty stomach, there's not much left of you outside, you don't see a single trace of the raiders that were previously here and your breath catches in your throat as you freeze.

In a few more gulps your feet are dragged inside out of the cooling night air and you're slow forced to curl up, ____s' gut bulging out once more they settle a hand on their stomach and pick at their teeth with one of their finger nails. A long deep burbling groan sounds from their belly as their stomach starts to gurgle, squeezing and flexing around you, you snap out of your stunned state and start pushing back struggling. 'you-YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T KILL ME' you yell panicking, ___ is nonchalant in their reply "yeah", you cry out distressed and ask your voice close to tears 'WO-won't eating me kill me?' "ppft naw" ____ pats their gut with a grin "dessert probably notice ______ look different, ______ special" 'Wha-What's that mean?' they put both hands on their round stomach and squeeze causing you to squeak in discomfort at how tight it is.

"Mean dessert should shut up and sleep, then dessert become human again in the morning" 'M-My name is (Y/N)! and what do you mean human again?' they scoff not bothering to answer your question in a way you understand, they know they were quite clear the first time, "No, your name dessert and dessert can be (y/n) tomorrow" they say as they rub and press at their stomach while they walk back to the raider camp to set up for the night with you making squeaks of discomfort as they continue to, in their opinion, playfully bully you.

#safe vore #soft vore #v*re #v0re #fatal vore #unwilling prey

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creacherkeeper · 2 years ago

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happy sleepover saturday luka!!! hope you’re feeling a little better <3 for dnd asks, all the odd numbers for maxwell?? i am so into his entire deal it’s so good

omg thank u leo. and yes im feeling much better <33

What does your character typically keep in their pockets?

literally who the fuck knows whats in there. he always keeps his tools on him though. his hammer is his arcane focus so that is very close by

3. How do they carry themselves around strangers? Friends/Lovers? Family?

i dont think maxwell tends to have many different modes. what you see is pretty much what you get. he's loud, exuberant, excitable, and curious. but i do think around romantic partners he's a little more quiet and calm and pretty mushy

7. How impulsive is your character?

he is the walking picture of adhd

9. What is their favorite scent?

i think the like. very metallic scent while soldering things

11. How does your character blow off steam?

as much as he is a nerd he is pretty damn twunky and has +4 strength so i think working out and training

13. If they were a body of water, what would they be?

a river that looks super fast and chaotic on top but is actually only a few feet deep and wont actually drown you

17. Does your character swear? What’s their favorite phrase/word?

oh he swears like a sailor yeah. i think his dad always stuck with like. kid friendly swearing. so thats what max knew growing up. and then when he went to the monastery the other kids were like "no check this out &*#%#%*" and max was like. i am a changed man.

19. How does your character act when they want to seem threatening?

i think he's simply so bad at it but mostly very loud cursing and threats about how he's going to crush them with his big hammer and he's going to enjoy it (almost entirely directed at his ex boyfriend)

21. If they were a potion, what would it look like? (Color, glass shape, smell, etc.)

bright but slightly clear yellow/orange/red thats kind of always shifting around even when it should be steady and fizzes like a very carbonated beverage. and i think it smells like ozone and is in a triangle shaped bottle

23. Would your character want to be famous? Why or why not?

oh definitely. he wants to be as renown an inventor as he thinks his dad is

27. If they were a ghost, how would they haunt in the afterlife?

the sound of feet running on stairs and laughter when no one is home

29. What does your character have too much of?

self confidence .....

31. Can your character visualize actual concepts in their head? Or are they just vague thoughts?

i think he thinks like me and its like. systems and diagrams and how things fit together. like i think if someone shows him a math problem he SEES the answer diagrammed not the equation you know ??

33. How do they feel about the unknown?

very excited to make it known

37. What are some ways your character acts silly?

i think he's silly most of the time but i think his silly is very physical. hanging upsidedown from a tree branch. spinning people around in hugs. making funny faces behind peoples backs

39. What does your character believe their party lacks?

he hasn't met them yet but he's hopefully coming in next full party game!!! but probably like. a sense of honest fun

47. Do they consider themselves funny? How do they use humor?

i think maxwell is less one for making jokes and is more one to point out or emphasize humorous aspects of whats already there

49. Do they talk to themselves?

when he talks out loud he's talking to his god. but he does talk out loud a lot. he's very much just like hey bestie burnlow you are getting a running account of literally everything i am doing today Thank You Love You

51. What makes them a hypocrite?

he very much cares about truth and understanding and knowledge but is also very much in denial about literally everything about his dad

53. What does freedom mean to them?

being allowed to live the life you want and be the person you want without having restrictions or danger put on you because of that (he is a trans war refugee lmao)

57. How does the way they act seemingly contradict their ability scores?

he has +5 int and wis but dear god will he ever use that in a practical way. remains to be seen

59. What’s something your character has realized?

that sometimes pride has consequences

61. Who do they go to when they’ve had a nightmare?

definitely his dad. but i think once he joins the party probably seir or jonny g (i think him going to jonny would be funny because he's literally the most normal mild mannered pleasant middle aged man and this absolute chaos goblin 20ish year old being like @n@, jonny,,,, is so funny to me)

63. Which party member would they pull a prank on? Who would they plan a prank with?

he would prank anyone with anyone. literally always down for a prank and consequences? dont know her

67. Selflessness or Self-Preservation?

i think he's never had to choose before. he's always been prioritized and been able to prioritize himself so he's never been in a position where he needs to be selfless

69. Journey or Destination?

destination. he will enjoy the journey but is only doing it to get Answers

#thank you my boy!!!!!!!!#maxwell tag #uncouth company

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drawnecromancy · 3 years ago

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As for the guys in the Sky City ?

Elysia is the most powerful ice user out there, has trained herself so hard she can resist Val's powers 50% of the time, and she has not only ice powers, but a *shield* that she can use to 1) stop any kind of thrown things from hitting her 2) stop all kinds of magic, and she trains daily to get it to perfection. The only thing it doesn't stop is people trying to punch her. Or stabbings. She gets stabbed at some point. Her third and last power is... Talking to animals. She hides that one carefully, because it's the one she uses to blackmail literally anyone ever. Mice, birds, any animal, she'll ask them for information and give favors in return. They know secrets that people don't realize. She however generally dislikes talking to cats, on account of this power needing touch, and being allergic to cats. Yeah thats why she and Patch aren't really in good terms before Vincent dies, she's hurtful for no reason.

Melyane knows people are nearby and their intentions. She can't exactly predict everything they'll do, but she can absolutely tell if someone is lying, saying half truths, friendly or hostile to her and/or her friends... That said, this power could have applications to control other people's reactions about her, but she never attempted to turn it into that. She just knows what people generally feel and attempts to go with the flow. She's the one who gets to stab Elysia, albeit clumsily, because she knew when Ely would be defenseless by figuring out what move she tried to pull next. She also was partly raised by glowing, mutant dogs, and her best dog bud is also often doubling as a seeing eye dog.

Mark is literally a Dark element user, but that classification has no bearing in Lonna. He can do anything a high level mage from anywhere else in the universe can do, although he's currently specialized in mobility (short range teleportation) and exploding people's faces (yes, any magic can be explosive). Huge balls of purple/black stuff are bad news and will explode in your face. It's his version of the fireball i guess. [The Mage, Mark from the Before Times, was so exceptionally skilled that he could almost have qualified for a Guardian transformation. He could do pretty much anything with the element and attempted to gather as much knowledge about magic as he could. The Guardians didn't manage to get to him fast enough, and now he's a teen with issues and no recollection of his past powers]

Ava "only" has super strength and wings. Wings that have been broken and badly healed so many times over that even gliding is painful, and she doesn't know how to fly. She'll only glide if it's a necessity (like that time she flees with Mark, although he does use his teleportation to get her to rest and stop hurting herself). She is also extremely fast and a huge danger in close combat, you do NOT want to fight her, no stop it's not worth having every single bone of your body being broken. [Ava of the past, Justice, was an adventurer renowned to get to the bottom of every weird problem she was given. Think DnD party + Sherlock Holmes. She once swore to destroy the Emperor. And, yes, she could fly back then !]

Val has that puppeteering power that, worked to it's greatest extents, can become literal mind control instead of just using other people's bodies to do what he wants instead of what they want. Val has not achieved this yet. He can also... Change bodies, not in a shapeshifting way. In a theft way. In a you die and I am inhabiting your dead body way. Killing him is extremely tedious because of that. [The Emperor, of course, has had thousands of years to hone his powers and reach for perfection. Unkillable, immortal, bored as hell, extremely dangerous. Everything had to be Perfect and To His Command, but his powers do have a range after which they stop working. Even at perfection. And the way his Empire worked is actually what Dawn modeled her own version of the government after.]

The Sky City bunch is incredibly overpowered compared to the other guys, especially Val, Mark and Elysia actually.

It's funny to look at, because... I mean, most of what they do after leaving the Institute, is just hanging out (except Elysia, still pulling strings behind the scenes). While the others in Lonna are constantly fighting for their lives.

Well. That's until they have to get to Lonna too, obviously.

#Elysia might be the Vriska of Break of Dawn.

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lastcrystalwitch · 4 years ago

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4/15/2021

So the term Earth Angel found me. And I'm not particularly crazy about the term, but the meaning behind it is absolutely spot on with me. Its crazy that I'm finally finding articles and messages everywhere recently since I started working with messenger Gods and Goddesses. I've been receiving a ton of information about self growth. But a friend of mine called me and Earth Angel yesterday. I had to look it up. I'd heard it before, but it wasn't something that I was interested in because I thought it had to deal with Christianity, Jesus, Mary, and the heavenly pure spirit that makes up "God." or the , "Holy Ghost."

But an earth angel isn't someone who is Christian and follows Christianity, but instead someone who is bound to the earth, Gaia, and ancient natural energies that are in all living things. We attune with these natural energies and feel much more them, when they are by themselves in nature. This is where they go for themselves to recharge, and are overly sensitive to what others say and think about them. These individuals are highly critical and can even be very mean to themselves in a way that is not fair, when others judge them, make fun of them, tease them, because earth angels are sincere. I always try to live by the words, say what you mean, and mean what you say.

These people are easily misunderstood because they are not very common in their ways of thinking, and from the very beginning, Earth Angels go through a lot of shit early on to get their heads straight, and suffer through injustice at a dangerous obnoxious level, and can pick up coping mechanisms that are very unhealthy. But, all so that their soul is ready to help others who are suffering. They live through experience of their own suffering and are great at understanding energies and are the first to know when there is a "...disturbance in the Force." They have a severe passion for helping those who they love, and while Earth Angels don't like violence, or people who fight, they have a great respect for people who have had been through difficult situations because they can feel someone's energy completely and absolutely like they are experiencing the pain of others.

Earth Angels have the positive energy to send out love to the world, feels others problems as their own, cares immensely for others happiness, has the ability to accept others exactly the way that they are. When an earth angel sets their sights on you, and takes an interest in you, its because they see someone with a rare light, a rare soul. If and Earth Angel shows you love an affection they bind a part of their heart to you and you will have that bond and love with them for the rest of your lives. Earth Angels don't abandon people, nor do they forget injured souls. They often think of those that they want to help, and be with, and love.

But sometimes Earth Angels will understand when someone needs to change for themselves, and will give that person the room and tools necessary to realize their own priorities. They can encourage people to have what Tarot Readers call a Tower, moment. And ultimately want to be just a support system for you while you're going through some shit, and growing as a human, and learning life lessons. Earth angels can miss people to the point that it becomes an unhealthy level of stress, and need to find distractions so they aren't constantly worrying about the ones that they love.

The hardest lesson I have learned as an Earth Angel is this, "Everyone is growing and learning and changing at different rates. Just because someone hasn't learned a life lesson that you did, doesn't make them any less of a person. And many people take longer than others to learn lessons like, you cannot change a person, setting healthy boundaries, when someone pushes you away, its not your fault usually, they just didn't understand how I think and feel and communicate. Its hardest to realize that the path someone must walk down sometimes has to be done by themselves, and the Earth Angel just wishes that she could be a support for the person struggling with career, finances, feelings of guilt, anger and resentment.

An Earth angel can forgive, but getting back that trust, is like passing a class. You have to get your shit together and prove to them that you are worthy of their love when you misuse and abuse them. They'll never forget you though. In fact, they'll think of you quite often because they know you'll be happier if you love yourself and be a friend to your spirit. Your soul.

The sooner that people realize that being your own friend and being comfortable who you are, and doing good things to set you up for success is like feeding a pet on time every day the same day. You can learn to trust yourself to say and do the right things, and it absolutely is possible to feel happy. Yes it is. I know. I have that wisdom.

In DND, (Dungeons and Dragons) a tabletop game that is as unique as a fingerprint with those who play ... Knowledge is different than Wisdom. So, ask yourself, what is the difference?

Well, knowledge is information passed down from one person or animal or thing, to another. Basically it is, "He told me that the oven is hot. I trust him to tell me the truth, so I'm going to take his word for it and not touch the oven."

Wisdom is knowing for yourself, that the oven is hot. You touched it, you got burned, therefore you have that wisdom. You know. Not just because you were told, but because you experienced it yourself.

The crazy thing is about Wisdom and Knowledge is, it is just another level of personal experience. People experience things differently. That's why I find it so incredibly interesting to learn other peoples truths, and find out their stories, what they had been through, and how can I make this person happy.

Recently I went through something that scarred me very deeply. I am needing to withdrawal a little bit into myself, and just really give myself a hug because I have been through a lot, and I need to tell myself that everything is going to be ok. My heart spirit was injured, and this has caused me to feel hopeless at first, then sad and depressed, then just crying for others, to the point that people started really worrying if I would be okay. I had friends coming into check in on me, and ended up surviving.

But If I can't help someone, and they must go on their own journey for a while to get their goals, and priorities onto a healthy level, I realize that I can't be with them for this journey, as much as I really really really want to be there for them. But I think of them everyday, and I think about the good things, and how they made my soul happy just being around them. I felt recharged. And they made me grow as well, and question things that I never really had the initial knowledge to understand in the first place.

Tower moments are times in our lives when our personalities, or ways of thinking have to shift in order for us to grow. These life lessons that we as humans have to walk through, are ones that Earth Angels take pride in holding your hand and letting you know that they will always love you, care for you, and do their best to make sure that you know they won't leave you, and you are not alone. An earth angel can suffer and worry about a person more than that person is worried, and the most important qualities to a friendship to an earth angel are honesty, communication, and of course love. They are good at showing others Pure Love, what it is, and how to love yourself.

The love that they show, are understanding, accepting someone exactly the way they are, bringing happiness and joy to others around them. We get bullied because people don't understand that we are helping for the sake of helping.

Altruistic. "/ˌaltro͞oˈistik/ adjective showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others; unselfish. "it was an entirely altruistic act" (borrowed from google dictionary)

Pacifism. pac·i·fism /ˈpasəˌfizəm/ noun the belief that any violence, including war, is unjustifiable under any circumstances, and that all disputes should be settled by peaceful means. "there remains a powerful undercurrent of pacifism" (borrowed from google dictionary)

That we really do feel good when we can make someone smile, or laugh. I myself am not very funny, and enjoy humor that is pure in form. I never liked trickery, or injuring someone's character to take personal pleasure in making someone suffer or feel better to make me feel better. That's not how it works with me. That isn't nice. Sincerity and doing what you say, and being honest with yourself and true to your heart are all qualities that we as Earth Angels like because it is just easier for our soul to be happy. Earth Angels are light workers, and ... "If you had a super power, it would be love." They use light energy to change the world and bring happiness and understanding to those around them. They experience pain and suffering on a larger scale than those around them because they wear their heart on their sleeve, and are easily hurt by those who ever try to hurt an earth angel. Earth Angels can see transformation happening to others, who cant see it, and usually choose to only share their highly intuitive thoughts with those who are very close to them.

Earth Angels can be very artistic. They have a natural ability to work with the arts and spread love and light through their art and their musical ability. Earth angels want everyone to understand each other, and want everyone to be happy. It is possible to have everyone on the same page. It is possible to have everyone be happy, using something called communication.

Opening up your heart when it has been hurt before and scarred is so hard for some people. But earth angels accept this pain and understand it because they bleed for their family and friends in a way that is hard to describe. They are so sensitive to those around them and how they feel.

All I am saying, is that I am 32 now, or 33. I think I'm 32. It changes every year, so I'm not too worried about it. hahaha

Earth angels can see layers of someone's soul by looking and speaking with them. They can tell the sadness and hurt inside someone, and instantly want to make them better. Earth angels are happiest when others are feeling happy, because they feed off of that happy, calm, content energy. And when an Earth angel is kept away from being able to recharge in an environment that is calm happy and content, like a forest or park, that person is more likely to feel overwhelmed, trapped, and stressed out.

Earth Angels shouldn't be confused with Christianity. Most Earth Angels are more prone to believe strongly in energies, what you send out comes back, kahrma, dahrma, and different planes of existence. Earth angels are better at making people feel better, because they truly feel real сочувствие, (seh*choos't*tiah) which translates sort of to empathy, and take great pride in being honest, truthful, and a good friend to others.

Earth angels from my own personal experience, are people who suffer for others, and are a good player two. They seek approval from other people quite often. Not because they can't think for themselves, but because they just want everyone to get along. These people are chameleons and can adapt to other peoples waves of energies and attitudes, in order to better understand someone. They are not trying to be unique and original, they already check those boxes. They just try to understand, provide aid, friendship and good mental health and love to those who are hurting. Earth angels are good to talk to if you need someone to listen to. They'll think about you all the time, and do little things for you to remind you that they care, and they hope you are happy. Earth angels use PURE UNBIASED LOVE AND AFFECTION to express themselves, and are very stern that you shouldn't use people.

Earth Angels kind of keep to themselves. Taking on other people's problems like their own can be very draining, and if you have the attention of an earth angel, they will cry over you, and look into how to help you (on multiple planes tbh) if you ever are suffering uncontrollably or super upset that its affecting your BA. (spirit soul energy) If you have the love from an Earth Angel, they will always love you no matter what, no matter how much you hurt them. They are understanding and extremely sensitive to many things. When Earth angels are injured in their BA, from someone hurting them intentionally, it is the worst thing that you can do to this person because it leaves a very deep deep scar. But they'll always love you, and they'll always listen to you and be there for you if you reach out to them.

Earth angels are said to be put on this earth to help others understand their soul's connection with the world around them and often remind and show others that there can be a very strong natural and grounding, warm hug energy from the earth, being outside, and the natural energies of the world around them. They are open to the world's energies and often seek out questions on a spiritual level, not to be confused with a religious level, as there is a very big difference between using tools to help you vs. adopting someone else's way of thinking. They like to think for themselves, but learn all they can from others. And they can be naturally good at learning other languages because they've made it their goal to understand and help others ... through understanding itself. One great way to learn about other peoples understanding is through Communication, Understanding, Listening, and learning healthy grounding ways to connect someone's BA, to their environment.

Earth angels are artistically talented but do best in careers where they can work closely with people in order to make them feel better, where they can have one on one connections with people. Earth angels are rare, and usually were people who put up with an unusual amount of pain growing up, and bullied, and who have suffered a lot, and just don't understand or like it when people are mean to others.

They're not perfect. Their not in human. They still have all the problems as someone else, but they know the more that you can understand what it is that is bothering you, the more Wisdom you gain, and the happier and more grounded you can be. Imagine being content and happy with yourself on a very very deep level. <3

I hope you have a good day. I love you, and hope today you do something to remind you to love yourself. I hope you smile today, and really feel it. *hugs*

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longsightmyth · 4 years ago

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OKAY SO. Here are my goodreads status updates from my first readthrough of ToD. These are from three years ago, some things are out of date, some aren’t fully fleshed out, and some problems I have this time around are absent from my notes the last time. I will eventually get back into this on my goodreads, but until then have these older updates to tide you over. Cut to save everybody’s dashes.

September 5, 2017 – page 12

1.82% "When will people realize that gold is an incredibly soft metal"

September 5, 2017 – page 18

2.73% ""The final blow hadn't been an act of brutality or hate" it sounds pretty brutal and hateful?"

September 5, 2017 – page 18

2.73% "Call me crazy, but attempted sneakymurder followed by screaming plunging into heart murder with the same knife, again, sounds pretty brutal and hateful to me"

September 5, 2017 – page 28

4.24% ""And then he'd ask that servant girl to comb every merchant ship for information about the attack."

First of all, the fragments are strong with this one. Second, that is a stupid idea. You don't know this servant girl, as evidenced by the fact that you don't even know her name. You don't know if she'll be good at extracting info. I mean, she could be. She could also be spying on you right now."

September 5, 2017 – page 28

4.24% "Why did Dorian send ambassadors without a retinue"

September 5, 2017 – page 28

4.24% "Why is the CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD being sent on a diplomatic mission?!"

September 5, 2017 – page 28

4.24% "Seriously how did these people not get conquered earlier? How did Adarlan stay in power all these years? How on EARTH has no one assassinated the king of Adarlan?!"

September 5, 2017 – page 48

7.27% "Okay for real though what are the responsibilities of the royal guard in this world because they seem significant in their scope and I question why a captain of the guard was commanding armies"

September 5, 2017 – page 53

8.03% "Idk man I feel like 'why did your previous king enslave and/or murder his own and various other peoples' to be a valid question"

September 5, 2017 – page 66

10.0% "I find it utterly ludicrous that a trained medical professional won't just say the word penis"

September 7, 2017 – page 85

12.88% "Okay look you've admitted that Kadja (the servant, who at last has a name)could be in the pay of someone but you're still trusting the information she gives you with no qualms whatsoever?"

September 7, 2017 – page 90

13.64% ""It will totes be a weakness if I mention that I'm looking for THE ONLY OTHER MEMBER OF MY DIPLOMATIC GROUP who has gone missing because it will reveal that I care about her"

I don't know what to do with these people I really don't"

September 7, 2017 – page 91

13.79% "I take back whatever points Chaol earned for bothering to learn Kadja's name. Stop yelling at Nesryn for unreasonable things. It's stupid, first of all, and weird, second"

September 16, 2017 – page 91

13.79% "I seem to have misplaced my copy but rest assured I will be back"

September 23, 2017 – page 30

4.55% "On the one hand I can understand a grieving sibling not thinking about every possibility, but on the other, "no one within our lands would be stupid enough to [murder a princess and make it look like a suicide]"

First, if they have successfully fooled everyone into thinking it was suicide, that argues for cleverness, no matter what nationality."

September 23, 2017 – page 30

4.55% "Second, this is a nation where apparently siblings are supposed to duke it out for the throne and murder the offspring of their less skilled or less lucky siblings. Why wouldn't you murder your siblings at that point? Look at the princess who's married and pregnant - maybe she doesn't like her odds if things proceeded on the up and up. Maybe her spouse doesn't. Maybe they just don't want to risk it."

September 23, 2017 – page 30

4.55% "Even if it wasn't a sibling directly, any of their supporters could have done it, or even somebody who just had a grudge and was particularly clever."

September 23, 2017 – page 30

4.55% "Third, someone trying to destabilize the current royal family could be murdering folks. It's not like you guys seem to actually DO anything about possible traitors."

September 23, 2017 – page 30

4.55% "All of these things Chaol, as the former captain of the royal guard, should be considering. Instead he takes Kashin's word for it, because no one in these books has the sense of a turnip."

September 23, 2017 – page 30

4.55% "Also, in case you couldn't tell, I found my book."

September 23, 2017 – page 30

4.55% "But seriously why are the leading suspects not her siblings"

September 25, 2017 – page 37

5.61% "These fragments keep getting weirder. I'm starting to truly believe this book was just never proofread. Example:

"There were two such vials on the desk now, clear orbs atop silver feet fashioned after ibis legs. Being purified by the endless sunshine within the tower."

Does that not read like someone accidentally hit the space bar twice while typing on an iPhone?"

October 5, 2017 – page 106

16.06% "I can't quite put my finger on why the new and strange veneration of Dorian's father bothers me as much as it does. Maybe the utter lack of foreshadowing? It could be that the man made more evil decisions pre-possession, or at least early possession when he ostensibly had enough control to try to make an eight year old..."

October 5, 2017 – page 106

16.06% "...lose control and burn him up, thus causing major political unrest and war. The eight year old was an awful child, true, but that's no reason to trick or trap a child into murder and causing a war."

October 5, 2017 – page 106

16.06% "Honestly he was a much more effective villain before the series started if you count extreme selfishness as a villainous trait.

Which I do."

October 5, 2017 – page 107

16.21% "Why is everyone STILL fawning of Celaena she isn't even supposed to be in this book GIVE IT A REST"

October 5, 2017 – page 107

16.21% "Do we have to have every single POV character independently explain to us who Silba is? Is this a requirement? Is this author being paid by the word?"

October 5, 2017 – page 108

16.36% ""In that court of vipers" [footage not found] you can't tell me CONSTANTLY that a court is pretty and valid and useless and only show us the court once (where they are dancing and Dorian is thinking about how his mother and her court are pretty and vapid and useless) and then try to tell me that they were all Evil Politicians working to drag Dorian down. You just can't."

October 5, 2017 – page 109

16.52% "More Celaena worship. Should I stop noting this? I probably won't."

October 5, 2017 – page 109

16.52% ""I told you what happened," he simply said.

I will go to my grave saying that if you add dialogue tags to something you want to be plain and simple you are doing it wrong. MY GRAVE."

October 5, 2017 – page 110

16.67% "Are these glass bells magical this seems like a bad plan to me"

October 5, 2017 – page 111

16.82% "Are only women healers? Why? Is it a magic thing or a cultural thing? Would a man be allowed to be a healer or would he be laughed out, magical healing ability or no? Would he be allowed but looked down on? Do men even get healing magic? Is there a stigma? TELL ME."

October 5, 2017 – page 111

16.82% "How does no one in this book have an ex they can just kinda nod at in the street why is it all Tragically Dead or evil past loves"

October 5, 2017 – page 117

17.73% ""How many times had he laid into his men for slouching, for chattering amongst themselves, and reassigned them to lesser watches?"

I mean going by the way you dealt with two guard who literally just peaced out and went to hang out at a party (ie, ah well, this happens, try not to do it again, come back tomorrow) not that many times."

October 5, 2017 – page 123

18.64% "Baast cats. Sure, why not, I guess."

October 5, 2017 – page 125

18.94% "I guess we do have printing presses in this world somehow"

October 5, 2017 – page 126

19.09% "Wait she named one of the Valg kings Orcus? I'm going to laugh my way to my dnd group this weekend"

October 5, 2017 – page 128

19.39% "This MADWOMAN is stuffing scrolls that are CENTURIES OLD into her CLOAK POCKETS. I feel faint."

October 5, 2017 – page 130

19.7% "Why do so few people get names in this series? Why does nobody think about the fact that they don't know people's names?!"

October 5, 2017 – page 132

20.0% "The bell alarm would be super clever if you discount the fact that anyone who watched the library for any length of time would know it never closed, and would therefore know that there was no bell toll to signal the library closing, and would THEREFORE know that the jig, she is up"

October 5, 2017 – page 135

20.45% "This isn't quite as bad as Dorian letting Sorscha take the blame for the damage caused by his magical temper tantrum, but come on, Yrene. You want a servant to leave so you can talk to Chaol in private so you straight up say that she HARMED him?"

October 5, 2017 – page 135

20.45% "That is quite frankly despicable, even if we ignore the possible consequences to Kadja. You just told the woman she hurt somebody! You put that on her shoulders! You have officially become awful."

October 5, 2017 – page 136

20.61% "Wait wait wait Yrene KNOWS that she has made Kadja worry about her position and wellbeing by literally saying that she hurt Chaol, and Yrene doesn't even care? What the everloving FUCK."

October 5, 2017 – page 138

20.91% "Why would bodiless shadow entities care about what bodies they inhabited? Is there a reason they only take dude bodies? Did they study humans for a while and decide they should be aesthetically pleasing men to be most effective? WHY"

October 5, 2017 – page 145

21.97% ""Either your lack of consciousness during that initial healing kept you from feeling this sort of pain, or perhaps whatever this is had not... settled."

Aka, I needed a wordy way to explain this particular asspull plot device.

Sorry, true love device."

October 5, 2017 – page 148

22.42% "Are the ruks basically the eagles. Are they. (In fairness I was thinking of the seanchan flying lizard things whose name escapes me from Wheel of Time until this point)"

October 5, 2017 – page 150

22.73% "How are they having this conversation up in the air with the wind"

October 5, 2017 – page 151

22.88% ""[Celaena] and Dorian both possess considerable magic. But I would say it is their intelligence that is the stronger weapon."

Celaena and Dorian's intelligence: [footage not found]"

October 5, 2017 – page 153

23.18% "Does nobody suspect Yrene? She found the body, she sounded the alarm for something nobody else found, she has all those weird books about death magic and stuff, she has access to the royal family..."

October 5, 2017 – page 159

24.09% "You just told Kadja to add lots of honey Yrene don't fucking complain like it's her fault the tea is too sweet now. What the hell. Why are we hating on Kadja so much. She's doing her job as stated by the book.

It's because this is when the author decided that Yrene was going to be Chaol's new love interest isn't it"

October 5, 2017 – page 160

24.24% "Of course Chaol instinctively puts the right amount of honey into the tea. Because why not I guess."

October 5, 2017 – page 165

25.0% "WHY DOES THE GRAND EMPRESS NOT HAVE A NAME"

October 5, 2017 – page 175

26.52% "I'm not saying the idea with the horse is impossible or even ill-conceived, but did you train the horse to answer only to rein? Because it doesn't matter how patient the horse is, if Chaol doesn't have control over his legs they'll either swing a bit, giving the horse commands it has been trained to obey, or keep constant hard pressure, which would confuse the horse if it was trained traditionally."

October 5, 2017 – page 175

26.52% "In other words, this is actually a considerate idea. Unfortunately it lacks the knowledge of someone who knows about horses. And I'm not saying all horses are trained the same way, but that's another factor - is this horse trained to ignore legs, one of the main forms of signaling for riders - in favor of rein? Never mentioned."

October 5, 2017 – page 178

26.97% ""You have a good seat" he says, at which point Yrene promptly flails everywhere and slides back and forth in her saddle. That means she does not have a good seat. Do a teensy bit of research on horses and riding please"

October 5, 2017 – page 178

26.97% "Here's the thing. "No lady, beautiful or plain, young or old, deserved to be gawked at."

It's a great sentiment. It's a sentiment I applaud. It's a sentiment that is completely undermine by this appearing to happen only to Yrene as a tool to tell us how desirable she is, and don't try to tell me it's not."

October 5, 2017 – page 179

27.12% ""You encounter that [harassment] here?"

Chaol. Literally one page ago you were commenting on people ogling her creepily. Keep up."

October 5, 2017 – page 180

27.27% ""Dorian has long studied and admired the khaganate."

Uh-huh. That's why it was never mentioned before the beginning of this book as anything other than the mysterious southern continent where Nesryn was from. Makes total sense."

October 5, 2017 – page 185

28.03% "Look I'm no fan of Chaol these days but it doesn't matter - you're shouting about the man's disability that he is clearly insecure about to a crowd while he sits there after having agreed to help you with something entirely different. You don't have his permission. He didn't ask you to talk to other healers. Why are you being a dick?"

October 5, 2017 – page 185

28.03% "Also, the medical professionals still refuse to say the word penis. I don't know why manhood is better, but apparently euphemisms rule the day in this world."

October 5, 2017 – page 185

28.03% "Also, the medical professionals still refuse to say the word penis. I don't know why manhood is better, but apparently euphemisms rule the day in this world."

October 5, 2017 – page 186

28.18% "No nope nuh-uh this is actually nausea inducing my blind eye isn't even that big a deal but somebody shouting about it and giving my medical particulars to a giant crowd of people I wasn't even told about and pointing out (loudly) that it was rolling off to the side or something would be SO AWFUL. Jesus Christ, I didn't even know I could have this kind of reaction."

October 5, 2017 – page 186

28.18% "Fuck this book."

October 5, 2017 – page 186

28.18% "Fuck Yrene."

October 5, 2017 – page 186

28.18% "This is the WORST."

October 5, 2017 – page 186

28.18% "He's literally either strapped to a horse or being carried by these so called healers he can't even just LEAVE. Fuck."

October 5, 2017 – page 187

28.33% ""She means well, my Yrene."

Don't.

Care."

October 6, 2017 – page 187

28.33% "Still not over it (she literally goes, as if it's a treat, "who would like to assist lord westfall from his mount to his chair?" Could that have even been PHRASED more insultingly?) but let's see what horrors come next."

October 6, 2017 – page 188

28.48% "It's a small thing but he keeps referring to them in his brain as 'these ladies' like way to be patronizing Chaol I'm trying to give you a pass because of the EXTREME AMOUNT OF DICKISHNESS that has recently been visited upon you but come on"

October 6, 2017 – page 188

28.48% "Stop with beheld.

Also, not to harp on this, but can YA in general get its facts straight in regards to self defense? Chaol has never trained non-soldiers. Chaol has never been trained BY non-soldiers. Chaol has never studied or considered the types of self-defense necessary for, say, a twelve year old girl who ha otherwise had no martial arts training and will probably not have other martial arts training."

October 6, 2017 – page 188

28.48% "The techniques involved are ENTIRELY DIFFERENT."

October 6, 2017 – page 190

28.79% "I ask again, what duties went with captain of the royal guard?!"

October 6, 2017 – page 195

29.55% "She gets mad at him when he makes a jibe about her getting the apprentices to haul him off his horse without asking him. She literally just walks away from him while he's still strapped to the horse. Now she's demanding if she DID something to him"

October 6, 2017 – page 195

29.55% ""Your piss-poor attitude helps no one and nothing"

Go fuck yourself Yrene"

October 6, 2017 – page 196

29.7% "But it's NESRYN who's the bad guy for expressing surprise that Chaol rode somewhere?!"

October 6, 2017 – page 199

30.15% "Okay, at least she apologized. Sorta? "I'm sorry. I should have considered your feelings on the matter."

Yeah. You should have. Or maybe, like, ASKED."

October 6, 2017 – page 203

30.76% "In my quest for fairness, that passage about Chaol feeling guilty for shit that went down in his past was significantly better done than most of the whole book. Unfortunately we've seen no sign of these things in Chaol's POV before, so it still comes out of left field."

October 6, 2017 – page 217

32.88% "Of course the princess' favorite story is about Celaena even if she doesn't know it's about Celaena"

October 6, 2017 – page 223

33.79% "It's possible I just like badass queer ladies, but Hassar is sounding cooler and cooler outside the weird jealousy thing with Renia. It's also possible that it's because the narrative doesn't try to tell me she's Good and Pure while she's talking about beheading folks."

October 6, 2017 – page 224

33.94% "I take it back. Why is everyone awful."

October 6, 2017 – page 233

35.3% "All of a sudden they're so attracted to each other that him saying her name 'made her toes curl'. It's not that I didn't see this coming, it just feels super abrupt."

October 6, 2017 – page 247

37.42% ""He hadn't quite realized how slim her waist was, how her hips flared beneath it. How her other assets swelled above."

I leave this for y'all without further comment."

October 6, 2017 – page 254

38.48% "Where are all the question marks?"

October 6, 2017 – page 256

38.79% "Apparently because Chaol is not cave-man jealous that Nesryn is talking to another dude, he and Nesryn aren't meant to be. Wow."

October 6, 2017 – page 271

41.06% ""But the scroll... it was too precious. Too ancient to treat so callously. Even flattening it out might harm the integrity of the paper, the ink."

Didn't stop you from SHOVING IT INTO YOUR POCKET EARLIER, YRENE"

October 25, 2017 – page 282

42.73% "I'm back to ask where all the question marks went"

January 5, 2018 – page 285

43.18% "That was a paragraph made almost entirely of fragments."

January 5, 2018 – page 293

44.39% ""The scent of lemon and lavender [from the Torre]" that is my perfume how did I never notice it before I AM SO MAD"

January 5, 2018 – page 299

45.3% "More retconning to make Dorian's still unnamed father a sort of antihero making hard decisions by murdering everybody who could maybe use magic."

January 5, 2018 – page 299

45.3% "I hate everything about this idea, and everything about how all evil men are redeemed or found to have not been under their own power while women who do something 'wrong' (like doubting Celaena) are given grisly punishments even when they are revealed to be misguided or whatever in the case of Kaltain."

January 5, 2018 – page 299

January 5, 2018 – page 308

46.67% "I actually do appreciate this. The handling of Chaol's disability has been pretty crappy, but this guard (with a name!) has a prosthetic arm and he uses it and goes about his life. Props."

January 6, 2018 – page 317

48.03% "I actually do like this part. If Yrene were always like this I'd like this book, but the book can't seem to just let Yrene be this person who always wants to help people. I can't put my finger on why she seems so inconsistent to me. It could be the many mentions of Celaena are off-putting, or it could be that we rarely ever see Yrene helping the poor."

January 6, 2018 – page 317

48.03% "I won't say never because we have at least two examples. As always though, these books rely too heavily on telling while they show us something else."

January 6, 2018 – page 319

48.33% "This is part of the reason these books frustrate me so much. Every once no a while a line or a paragraph comes that makes me think that maybe the author Gets It, but then it's lost in a miasma of Celaena worship and males and females and all that nonsense."

January 6, 2018 – page 324

49.09% "Then we get "don't you waste one heartbeat being afraid of a coward who hunts women in the darkness."

First of all, that could be polished up to be a better line. Second, it's literally a demon hunting her. Third, she has the bare basics of self defense. Fourth, YES WE ARE AFRAID OF PEIPLE HUNTING WOMEN IN THE DARK, YOU DICK. That doesn't mean we can't do something about it. Fuck off."

January 6, 2018 – page 328

49.7% "Men are "silky, Court-trained liars" a la Black Jewels, but women are apparently "smooth, pretty" liars. Make of that what you will."

January 6, 2018 – page 338

51.21% "Nope we have spent five books and multiple short stories in Celaena's mind we never see any of this planning I will not be convinced by this toadying"

January 6, 2018 – page 340

51.52% "Why does no one seem to understand that being good at using a weapon does not immediately equate to being a good tactician or a good leader?!"

January 6, 2018 – page 347

52.58% ""But what is more unusual: that a Balruhni woman is their captain, or that a captain of Adarlan has ventured so far?"

Idk she's supposed to be running the military body responsible for the protection of a king so I'd think it would be unusual for her to leave said king but what do I know"

January 6, 2018 – page 347

52.58% ""The real question is... does she come as emissary or bride?"

That would not be my real question I have to admit. Also it's a stupid question. These books are written with a juvenile humor and juvenile character interactions while trying to give graphic adult content and I hate everything."

January 6, 2018 – page 349

52.88% ""Made sure he notes that the grace with which she moved was not some feminine gift"

Sorry do you think women just naturally move gracefully?"

January 6, 2018 – page 371

56.21% "Apparently the sentient southern spiders are not as civilized as the northern sentient spiders idk y'all"

January 6, 2018 – page 378

57.27% "Of course the fae brought 'civilizations to the southern continent of course they did"

January 6, 2018 – page 405

61.36% "Hang on can the giant birds talk now?"

January 6, 2018 – page 405

61.36% "Nope, sorry, pronoun confusion. All good."

January 6, 2018 – page 421

63.79% "I mean we all know my stance on Celaena, re: her supposed brilliance and/or that of her advisors, so it should surprise no one that it seems like all the royalty here are talking sense when it comes to not helping her."

January 6, 2018 – page 453

68.64% "Apparently love can make you walk again after a spine injury. I guess that's good to know. (What the hell)"

January 6, 2018 – page 470

71.21% "Remember girls if you win anything it's only because the boys you're competing with are worried you'll hurt your fragile feminine selves and let you win (unless you are Celaena Sardothien, in which case sometimes you are allowed to win on your own in the most obnoxious way possible)"

January 6, 2018 – page 471

71.36% "I think I'm supposed to find this cute but frankly everything about this fucking stinks, a dude had his father declare he was betrothed to a woman and she didn't know it was going to happen and because she hasn't outright told the dude to jump off a cliff everybody's like 'ah yes she really does want him' even as they talk about how the marriage might help a strained and grouchy alliance"

January 6, 2018 – page 481

72.88% "It's not a chestnut if it has a black mane it is a bay I swear to god it will be trivial horse details in YA lit that make me lose it in the end"

January 6, 2018 – page 483

73.18% "MY KINGDOM FOR A GELDING"

January 6, 2018 – page 486

73.64% "I'm getting the feeling that people don't understand how much leg muscle it takes to ride a horse successfully even if you don't use your legs to guide them. Is Chaol's tricked-out saddle being used and I missed it?"

January 6, 2018 – page 498

75.45% "Everything good is apparently fae, even healing magic. Watch Yrene turn out to be the long lost heir to the Magical Healing Fae Dynasty or something."

January 6, 2018 – page 498

75.45% "Still no word on why only women are healers"

January 6, 2018 – page 509

77.12% "Of course the gay princess is the high tempered murder-y brat princess. Of course."

January 6, 2018 – page 520

78.79% "It should be impossible to glorify Celaena without even knowing who she is AND YET"

January 6, 2018 – page 530

80.3% "I call bullshit. No foreshadowing, no nothing. This is yet another goddamn asspull for shock value and I am TIRED OF IT"

January 7, 2018 – page 563

85.3% "Once again there are parts of this that would be good if they made any sense at all in the narrative or had anything leading up to them or didn't DIRECTLY CONTRADICT other parts of the book"

January 7, 2018 – page 565

85.61% "Once again, abusive asshole dude given benefit of the doubt and apparently was actually trying to save his son I swear to god how many of these can there BE."

January 7, 2018 – page 567

85.91% "For the love of god how much more veneration of Celaena can one woman be expected to stand"

January 7, 2018 – page 570

86.36% ""He did not deserve to serve such a man. Such a king."

I am of the opinion that there are few people terrible enough to DESERVE serving Dorian, but here we are."

January 7, 2018 – page 575

87.12% "Of course he's fully healed of course he is love apparently heals spinal injuries so well it's as if they never were aside from an easily overlooked scar much like Celaena's three parallel whip scar marks on her back I swear to god"

January 7, 2018 – page 576

87.27% ""Then Sartaq clasped arms with Yeran, whine Borte pointedly ignored, which Nesryn supposed was an improvement on outright hostility"

Nah man dude decided he and Borte were engaged without even letting her know and made a FORMAL ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT IT and she seems to feel that telling him to fuck off would endanger a precarious alliance"

January 7, 2018 – page 579

87.73% "Sorry the Borte quote was supposed to be 579"

January 7, 2018 – page 579

87.73% "Either way, why is everyone treating this like it's cute?"

January 7, 2018 – page 579

87.73% "It's creepy in the extreme and manipulative AT BEST"

January 7, 2018 – page 580

87.88% ""Yet as she left, Nesryn could have sworn Borte gave Yeran a secret, small smile"

No. Stop it. This isn't cute. This is creepy as fuck. Stop telling people that all you have to do is make the girl yours and she'll love you eventually. That's some Stockholm bullshit. I hate everything."

January 7, 2018 – page 580

87.88% ""She set a date. That's how she got my hearth-mother to approve."

Cool so Borte BARTERED HERSELF OFF to save her hearth-brother dude but we're just going to pretend this is cute I hate EVERYTHING"

January 7, 2018 – page 591

89.55% ""It would have been like Aelin, to shift the battle between her and Maeve to the shore. To minimize casualties, so she could unleash her full power without hesitation."

FOOTAGE NOT FUCKING FOUND Celaena has never given any sort of shits about innocent bystanders aside from useless lip service and has in fact BURNED ENTIRE SHIPS OF HER ALLIES ALIVE and been irritated that people were upset with her about it"

January 7, 2018 – page 591

89.55% "I am SO ANGRY"

January 7, 2018 – page 601

91.06% "Once again, no foreshadowing whatsoever."

January 7, 2018 – page 609

92.27% "No fucks given about Duva, it's all about the fetus now apparently"

January 7, 2018 – page 639

96.82% "I fail to see why the gender of a demon makes any difference at all. Why is this an OMG BIG REVEAL?"

January 7, 2018 – page 640

96.97% "God the book is trying it's trying SO HARD to make not all women terrible people unless they bow to Celaena but like. This is a complete reversal of Hassar. We've never seen her care about anybody but Renia."

January 7, 2018 – page 654

99.09% ""No longer Yrene Towers - but Yrene Westfall"

The Towers women have kept their last name through at least ten generations this is BULLSHIT it's a healer thing why can't she be Yrene Towers, Lady Westfall it's not without precedent irl and all it would do would keep character consistency and not immediately behold her to a man oh wait"

January 7, 2018 – page 656

99.39% "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MORE CELAENA VENERATION"

January 7, 2018 – page 659

99.85% ""A coffin built by an ancient queen to keep the sun inside"

The sun is Celaena/Aelin, in case you were curious."

January 7, 2018 – Shelved as: 1-5-stars

#myth rags on throne of glass #myth reads #myth reads tower of dawn

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panharmonium · 4 years ago

Text

stranger things 3, a visual summary:

more coherent thoughts under the cut, because wow.

......okay. that was a Trainwreck. an absolute mess.

i remember when my coworkers were watching S3 (and still urging me to start season 1) and they were saying how amazing the latest season was, and honestly i think there must just be a difference in people who watch tv just to be entertained and people who watch tv and automatically evaluate the story (aka fandom veterans and English majors, lol - cue Me twice), because WHO could watch this critically and praise it that way?

it's honestly hard to know where to even begin; i've been sending frustrated notes to @brambleberrycottage ever since episode three and now that i'm done with episode 8 there's just......so much more to say

first, good things:

erica is a great character. she's what max should have been (aka, uh.......interesting!) i liked the realization moment where dustin was like "you're a NERD!"

that entire sequence where will is so upset with lucas and mike for not being engaged with the dnd game was very well done, especially the conversation he has with mike out in the rain. i loved that moment where mike asked him "did you think we were just going to hang out in my basement playing games forever?" and will said, "yeah. yeah, i guess i did." i really felt that. [edit, now that i've finished: this was never resolved. will giving away his dnd books at the end was not an actual resolution to this conflict.]

steve is still a good dude, and robin was pretty cool. i'm down for them being super friends. but i'm still mourning the steve+nancy+jonathan trio that was a thing for like 5 seconds and then never returned.

i loved how genuinely excited steve was to see dustin when dustin came back from camp. that was adorable. "HENDERSON!!!!" "how many children are you friends with?"

and uh. yeah. i had more problems with this season than praise-bestowing moments, so. here goes that bit.

OVERARCHING PROBLEMS:

1. keep it simple, stupid

remember in the office when dwight quoted the above advice to ryan as michael's rule for making a sale? the same advice applies to storytelling.

season 1 of stranger things is so simple. there is One Monster. that is the danger. and somehow, that single monster manages to be a thousand times more terrifying than all of these new "bigger, scarier, more epic" threats crammed into the second two seasons.

how goofy is the stranger things season 3 plot, seriously? russians are blackmailing a small-town mayor so they can buy up land to steal power from the town while operating a secret lab under the mall to open a gate to the Upside Down (WHY?), while simultaneously a remnant of the malevolent force that was "defeated" last season has reanimated itself and is making people scarf chemicals (WHY?), and then it possesses one of them and uses that person to possess a bunch of other people in order to build itself a body made out of melted people, in order to kill el, whose only story this season is breaking up with her boyfriend, and we have to infiltrate this russian base in order to close the gate (same endgame as last season - BIG NO-NO) to kill the goo monster, except last time the "mindflayer” survived the gate being closed, so why would this even WORK, and -

the fact that there are so many "round-up/info dump" scenes where characters summarize what's going on and make implausibly accurate connections/guesses about what it all must mean is a red flag. the characters shouldn’t have to tell your story to the audience. if it's too complicated for us to keep straight on our own, it's too complicated.

the amount of energy that goes into trying to lash together a Chaos Plot with too many shaky legs leaves nothing left over for nuanced character development or mood establishment. you're constantly running to catch up to your own flimsy story before it collapses on top of itself.

2. the horror!

S1 of stranger things was the scariest thing i'd ever seen.

granted, i don't watch a lot of horror, because i don't like it. i get scared too easily and then i legitimately can't sleep. i watched a horror movie five years ago that i still think about every time the lights are off in my house. but still, ST1 was something i had never experienced before.

it wasn't creature horror, and it wasn't just suspense. it was the UNSETTLINGNESS of it all. it wasn't really about the monster. it was about the Upside Down.

the reason ST1 is so successful is because of how much we don’t know. it's the horror of not understanding what is happening, and the terror of knowing that nobody thinks it’s real. feeling like you're going crazy and being cut off from all assistance. the conspiracy and the cover-up. and the sheer unsettlingness of the whole parallel worlds things just tipped me over the edge - the idea that you can take one wrong step and then be suddenly and without warning completely off the map, simultaneously right next to the people you want to get to and also utterly beyond their reach. that was fucking scary!!!!

and they do it all with so little. i have literally never been more scared in my life than when i would see those christmas lights start flickering. and they're just LIGHTS! yes, we see the monster later, but it's the uncertainty that's most frightening. we don't understand how it arrives in our world, and we don’t know where it will show up next. it could be right next to you - on the other side. you could be standing on top of it. you just don't know. it’s like what jonathan says to nancy in her bedroom - “it can’t get us in here.” and she says, “we don’t know that.”

the later seasons of stranger things, by comparison, did not scare me at all. season two was like a zombie movie - hordes of weak enemies that you can just shoot with a gun. and season 3 was even less frightening - upping the ante and making things gorier, more explosive, and bigger just isn't the vibe they set in S1. i'm not scared of that giant goop monster. it's like godzilla. it's not horror; it's just a lot of noise.

the unsettling, "creep" factor that made season 1 so effective was gone. it just turned into a regular old monster movie, and i didn't find that particularly interesting.

3. illogical, captain

a while ago there was a wave of pushback against people complaining about plot holes, but you know what? there is, in fact, an appropriate place for us to talk about plausibility, as well as the point at which our suspension of disbelief collapses.

ST3 is a bona fide plausibility disaster. i did not believe half of the story, because it was not unfolding in a believable way.

half of the plot points in this season would not have happened if the characters had been behaving with any kind of sense. it is absolutely impossible for me to believe that none of these children IMMEDIATELY went to joyce or hopper the minute they knew something weird was going on. it makes no sense. after the shit they've seen? it makes sense in season 1, because the kids are still so young that they have that kind of magical thinking that makes all of this seem kind of like an adventure. but they're teenagers now, and developmentally, they’re past that stage. they know the evil creature is back and they're pretty sure it's possessing billy? for some unfathomable reason, they don't go to an adult, but try to trap billy in the sauna and just see what happens. the other group has actual proof that russian soldiers are up to something shady in the mall? they don't tell an adult; they send a TEN YEAR-OLD in through the AIR DUCTS to investigate the secret room guarded by MEN WITH GUNS.

this is ridiculous. none of this should have happened. none of this WOULD have happened. it breaks the boundaries of disbelief. it completely sabotages the audience’s engagement with the story - joyce and hopper's whole detour with alexei and murray is so dull, because its entire purpose is to bring hop and joyce up to speed on something that we, the audience, already know. the other characters already found out this stuff, but did not communicate it - the gate is being opened again in a russian lab underground. there's no suspense for us. nothing new is revealed. we're just waiting for them to hurry up and finish finding out so we can move on to the next thing.

moreover: there are so many other problems besides just "these characters would have talked to each other." why on earth would murray, whose sole characteristic is extreme paranoia, take alexei wandering around the festival for hot dogs and carnival games. why would hopper be so virulently against the possibility that weird shit might be happening again? does he remember the past year or what? how on earth would the kids be able to fight off that massive monster with an ax and a hunting rifle? it's made out of dead guts and bones; why does it care if they shoot it?! how in the WORLD is this russian facility so penetrable? i'm sorry, it's just - beyond believable. it doesn't have cameras? the russians guards really can't tell that murray isn't a native speaker? they don't check his id when they don't recognize him? joyce and hopper really just got that lucky, to be asked a question and have “smile and nod” be the right answer? nobody ever got shot? it's silly. it's just silly. so many things - erica uses the "Open" button to open the elevator door in order to let steve and robin and dustin inside, but once the elevator is at the bottom of the shaft, robin explains the door's inexplicable non-opening because......you apparently need a keycard to use the buttons???? THAT MAKES NO SENSE; ERICA JUST USED THE BUTTONS A SECOND AGO.

even the entire endgame of this season is a contradiction! if the mind-flayer survived el closing the gate last time, it doesn't make sense that closing the gate this time would kill it. literally the entire plot of last season was "we need to get this thing out of will, because the creature will die once the gate is closed, and we want to make sure will doesn't die with it." but apparently the creature didn't die upon closing the gate; it just got trapped in our dimension. but now apparently it WILL die upon closing the gate. for whatever fucking reason.

i'm sorry, but that’s a mess. that’s a bona fide mess.

4. watch your tone

i honestly think the tonal change is the thing that made me the most frustrated about this season. it's possible to have a terrible plot and still stay relatively true to your characters - you'll still have a bad season, but at least you didn't bastardize your characters in the process.

i had issues with S2 and i definitely was not as impressed with it as i was with S1, but at least in S2 joyce and hopper were recognizable. in S3, i felt like i was watching strangers. the tonal shift was bizarre and off-putting, more so with hopper than joyce, but it affected both of them.

even as early as the very beginning of this season, i was feeling weird about how often hopper was being used for comedy. and as the season progressed, this trend only became more pronounced. almost every scene we had of him felt silly - and not like there was just something funny in the scene for me to laugh at, but like the audience was almost being asked to laugh AT him. like he was constantly the butt of the joke.

this really bothered me. from that incredibly sincere and heart-wrenching portrayal of him in season 1, when they kept him rooted in the trauma of losing his daughter and the breakdown of his marriage, and then how that same trauma made him so driven to save will and protect the kids - what a change. even in season 2 i was frustrated how the throughline of his daughter wasn’t touched again until the very last episode, and now in season 3 we’ve left that part of him so far behind that he's just there for us to laugh at. we're supposed to laugh at scenes of him being drunk and a mess. every scene he's in is either him arguing with joyce for comedic relief or being way over the top with alexei or the mayor. he was like a caricature of himself, and i didn't recognize him.

joyce suffered from the same thing, just by virtue of proximity. she spent almost all of her time in this season with hopper, and virtually all of that time was taken up with silly shenanigans or comically overblown arguing. what a departure from the desperate mother of season 1, who was maligned by everyone in town and only taken seriously by the audience. now it’s the audience who are supposed to be chuckling at her.

i dunno. the tone shift was very dramatic, very obvious, and it impacted the entire season. are we supposed to be taking this seriously or is it supposed to be a joke? a little bit of humor to break tension can be a good thing, but when it's constant, it confuses the mood.

and i personally don't think it was appropriate or respectful to either of these characters, in this case.

SMALLER THINGS THAT BOTHERED ME:

this show has 100% hit maximum character saturation. by the end of this season there were 13 core characters onscreen at the same time, in the same scene! it’s too many people! they cannot reasonably develop that many people in the space allotted.

i still am not interested in max. i don't feel anything for her. she doesn't feel real. i don't hate her, but she's just an empty vessel, and i really do think she's superfluous to this show. i think you could remove her with very little reworking and the show would be stronger for it. (they TRIED to do something interesting with billy, and i might have cared if we had been given literally any reason to care about him previously, but there was no investment earned there. they didn't do the front-end work to make him somebody we were interested in.)

weird relationship sunderings from previous seasons. i felt very strange about jonathan barely even seeing will this entire season. i felt very strange about steve having almost zero contact with nancy. i felt very strange about joyce hardly ever interacting with her kids. all of these were core relationships - the characters were BUILT on those relationships, and they don't feel real outside of them. not seeing these characters devote time to these relationships makes it feel like i'm watching a slightly different show.

the VIOLENCE. apparently this is a beat-em-up now??? i really felt like every other scene somebody was getting beaten to a bloody pulp. there was SO much smashing and bashing and throwing people into walls and fistfights and head trauma like - first of all, i find that stuff pretty boring, and second of all, all of these people should be in the hospital.

the GORE. other people’s mileage may vary, obviously; i just didn't like that. i looked away at the scene with the rat, and all this...goopy dissolving human shit, and the stabbings, and just...general grossness level - season 1 managed to be bloodcurdlingly terrifying without any of this stuff.

i know this borders on nitpicky, but yet more medical malfeasance - another example of someone receiving an injection via the mysterious 90 degree angle neck route, plus - was anyone else losing it at the fact that steve and robin “puked up” a drug they received……..via injection?????? IT’S NOT IN THEIR STOMACHS, FOLKS! THEY CAN’T PUKE IT UP! IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT!

the complete lack of follow-up to last season. the whole S3 plotline (such as it is) feels like a weird side quest. last season seemed to be furthering the mythos and setting us up for "there are other children like el/brenner is alive" - but this season, that fact appears to have been forgotten by everyone (even el!!!) and has nothing to do with the story that we're given, which is a goofy and redundant story about russians opening a secret lab under the mall which requires us to solve the exact same problem as last season (closing the gate).

this show's inability to keep certain throughlines in its headlights/keep things visible on the periphery instead of dropping them completely and then bringing them back whenever they feel like they need it again. i already talked about hopper’s daughter as an example of this (done well in S1 and poorly in S2 and S3). another example is that scene with nancy and her mom - it’s such a good scene, and yet it misses out on so much resonance, because they completely dropped the plotline of karen feeling locked out of her kids’ lives and desperately wanting to connect with them. if they had continued to reference that throughout season 2, then this scene would have been so much more powerful. as a third example, season 3 starts with a clear context/premise, and it’s INTERESTING - the town landscape changing because of the mall, business slow to non-existent, small town discontent over big corporations moving in, hopper pressured to break up the protest against mayor kline when he should have let it proceed - and then the show just drops that entire context. you expect season 3 to stay rooted in the "our small town is being strangled by this mall" and then to eventually deal with the revitalization of hawkins, but nah. it's never mentioned again.

LASTLY:

i'm not really gonna get into hopper "dying," because he's, like...clearly not dead. but the whole situation was stupid and contrived (i was so sick of that arnold schwarzenegger lookalike by the last episode, god that whole thing was so dumb) and it's even cheaper knowing that he'll obviously be back.

what i AM gonna say is that i was livid that they brought back that peter gabriel cover of "heroes" to end this season. their use of that song in S1 blew my mind - it had me stunned with how GORGEOUS it was and just, the way it worked in that particular scene - absolutely incredible. floored me. gave me chills. to recycle it at the end of such a poorly constructed season made me so mad. yOU CAN'T MAKE ME FEEL THINGS JUST BY REUSING THIS SONG. I REFUSE TO HAVE EMOTIONS JUST BECAUSE YOU PULL OUT THIS BEAUTIFUL TRACK THAT YOU ONCE USED TO GREAT EFFECT; YOUR STORY WAS STILL TERRIBLE THIS TIME AROUND; DO NOT TRY TO TRICK FEELINGS OUT OF US THAT HAVEN’T BEEN EARNED.

and that's it. i’m sure later i’ll think of other things i neglected to mention here, but...yeah. i was not impressed.

#i finished yesterday #holy moly #interdimensional babysitters club

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basiclee-t · 5 years ago

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Well, @riannetheanimator since it probably won’t fit, and I wanted to add some visual aid, I’ll put my response here! So here are my characters and a bit about the world!

These guys basically reside in different planes, all tied to The Surface, which is basically earth. These planes have different gods and goddesses, and almost all of my characters are emissaries to these gods and goddesses. It kinda looks like the dnd planes to put it generally!

The center point of these planes is called the Nexus, where a lot of emissaries come to chill peacefully.

But now, onto the characters!

Endie: My son. He’s a soul reaper, the emissary for the goddess of death. Btdubs he’s a vampire. He chills in the Planar Nexus a ton, loves to interact with mortals, and adores his boyfriend Brine. No matter the situation, he always finds himself being teased by everyone he knows, and that hits his ego hard. On the surface, he’s a super suave, scythe-spinning, silver-tongued badass who’ll cut you down, but as soon as someone else even wiggles fingers in his direction he is OUT. I uploaded a chart for how ticklish he is, and it holds true. He’s a ball of nerves. Brine found out first, but knismesis absolutely destROYS him. (He loves it though, and everyone knows it but he’ll be damned if he has to say it) fun fact: one of my first dnd characters, and I played him as a warlock to the Raven Queen if that means anything to anyone, which is why you can see he had a raven’s skull as a pin on some old art!

Noelle: I know I named her Noelle, but I think from now on I’ll call her Elle. (A lot of these are in the works :,D) So Elle: she’s ACTUALLY a super cool badass who could beat you up, but she won’t. She’s big and strong because she’s a protector and a healer, an emissary to the goddess of life. Her wings are made of light and can appear and disappear as she pleases. Her, her brother Tyler, and Endie are part of the “god gang” which is just what they call themselves. She is a big ler, and is one of the main offenders when it comes to tickling. She also loves to help anyone pin someone else if they aren’t strong enough. While mainly a ler, there are three people who can tickle her and get away with it. Doctor Alphonse, because Elle has a soft spot for her, Tyler, because he’s her brother and knows exaaaaactly where to get her so she can’t fight back, and Hoax because he’s a teasy shit and loves breaking her stoic/condescending resolve (he “cheats” and uses magic to pin her so she can’t hit him).

Tyler: oooh another baby! He’s the emissary to the god of time, and he’s quite the tinker. He often works together with the Doctor to create different machines for many different purposes. He’s...not ticklish! I know, say it ain’t so! Well...it ain’t so, he’s just not ‘very’ ticklish. Get him in the right spots though and he’s done for. His hips, knees, and thighs will make him cackle, and his ears are good for quick giggles. He’s a tickle monster though, but one you wouldn’t expect until it was too late. See, he’s a big brother, so he’s got the whole condescending teasing down pat. He and Endie have their fair share of “disputes” which usually end with one of them rubbing away phantom tickles and the other triumphantly looming over him. Usually it’s Tyler as the latter.

Doctor Amelia Alphonse: a very cute bean! She is an emissary to the god of knowledge and craftsmanship. If the name didn’t tell you, she’s French! Or at least she was in her past life. She usually resides in her plane, working on some new big revelation. It’s rare to catch her out of her lab on her own accord...which is why she gets forced out quite often. Her and Elle are very close, and she’s usually the one to force her into the sunlight. Amelia also works with Tyler on big projects where she may need help. Her biggest pride is her learning AI, Alt. She also helped Tyler with his prosthetic arm. She’s a cutie, but not as innocent as she may seem. Rather than purely scientific work, she dabbles in eldritch magic to enhance and advance her creations. She often forgets the safety of others, or herself, when experimenting something new, which has led to some problems. She’s getting better though. At least now she yells “clear!” Before mixing a new concoction. She’s very ticklish and not very strong, which is why it’s so easy to get her out of the lab...unless she uses her eldritch magic, which she often calls upon to materialize as light tentacles, much like Elle’s wings. If this happens, run. It is way harder to move her and easier to find yourself at her mercy. She is also the epitome of the “I’m doing this for science!” Trope

Brine: cutie number 5! Endie’s loving boyfriend and emissary to the goddess of sight and second chances. He can use foresight to see a variety of futures, and the outcomes of each action. You’d think this would make him a very calculated individual, but he doesn’t like to dwell on it. He’s very cheery and he loves studying mortals on the Surface. He doesn’t know a lot about their culture, but he loves to learn it, and to educate the other emissaries on it. At first glance he’s not very built or muscular, but then you realize that under those layers of clothes he’s almost immovable. His wings are feathered but can appear and disappear too. He preens a lot to keep them looking nice, and it works out because he loves to use the excess feathers on Endie. He’s pretty ticklish himself, and Endie likes to tease him in order to instigate revenge. Brine almost always obliges, but sometimes if he’s feeling extra devious, he’ll make him ask for it. It kills Endie. If Endie is bored and Brine isn’t putting 100% of his attention toward him, Brine can almost always expect teases to get his attention. He doesn’t mind it much either, and he loves hearing Endie laugh.

Hoax: a bastard, but also my son. This man is a teasy shit and literally LIVES for it. He’s the emissary to the god of trickery and illusion, and he doesn’t let anyone forget it. He’ll often place bets with Elle to see who can wreck the most people, but she always loses because he always gets to the one person who she could never...herself. It’s an effort in futility, but she’s very competitive...which is what she tells people when ask why she keeps doing it. He can make several hands appear to do his bidding, which is just plain evil, especially to Endie, his twin brother and main target. He appears out of nowhere to wreck someone, and loves teasing them while doing it. His favorite thing in the world is finally breaking the dam of laughter when the lee has been trying so hard not to laugh. He’s also ticklish, but hey, good luck pal. No one has ever launched a successful attack on him...no one.

So yeah! Here’s my master list and my askbox is always open if anyone wants to know more!

#masterlist #master list #tickling #my ocs #my art #Endie #Elle #Tyler #Amelia #Brine #Hoax #riannetheanimator #sorry it took so long to get to!

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cozycryptidcorner · 5 years ago

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A monster match for the amazing @navonneedsahug

“So i am a capricorn and an INFP-T. Im a heavier set lady. I am currently studying archaeology and classical civilizations. Im more reserved when you first meet me but when i open up i turn into a very affectionate(love to be hold) and loud person, i laugh like a gd hyena. Im the mom friend who will not hesitate to fight. Im also an aspiring author. Im big into fantasy. i love reading fantasy novels, playing dnd and video games. If i had an alignment itd probably be lawful good. Im a walking furnace looking for my cold counterpart. Love me an accent and like em tall but absolutely can not do insects like nope sorry. Id perfer a male and someone who can stand listening to me talk about history or my complaining about ancient authors. I can be a little oblivious about things so hed have to be patient as it would take me a moment to understand a joke or something of the sort.”

You have been matched with a Dullahan! Your Dullahan is a calm, collected, and believes in the hierarchy of his people and their rules. Well, up to a certain point, of course. There have been some recent changes that have convinced him that the council isn’t as well-intended as he once thought they were, so your Dullahan has recently turned into a more chaotic member of the order. While the turning point for him might have been meeting you, he won’t actually admit it, at least not in the beginning. Since he was raised in the communal home for fae children, his first instinct when finding something new is to hide it from everyone else, sometimes even from the people he would call his friends. It’s something that he works to fix, but that’s why he didn’t tell anyone from his order that he met you. And perhaps it was for the best, honestly, because mingling on the mortal plane isn’t precisely what could be categorized as ‘allowed.’

See, the thing about the Fae is that while humans are kind of hilarious to just kick back and watch after a hard day at work, you shouldn’t mingle with them. That was a mistake he made when he got shot through the chest while trying to track down an obnoxious, murderous vampire, ending up on your doorstep, almost bleeding to death. He didn’t need as much care and time as an average human would have, it was only a matter of hours before he stopped bleeding and a couple of more for the wound to close completely. All you had to do was see to his other needs, such as making him some tea and toast while he lays on a couch, almost like a simple guest, if he weren’t missing his head.

He’s... not a good conversationalist, not even when his head has been retrieved. Not at first, at least. Though you try to wheedle some information from him, your Dullahan is stiff, almost cold, though you just thought it was because there was a gaping hole in his chest. And you were right; actually, once his chest wound healed up, he began to become just a tad bit more invested in talking with you, once you learn the best way to wheedle information out of him. You have to do it slowly, gradually, offering bits of pieces of yourself until he becomes comfortable enough to respond in kind. He might have stayed just a little longer after his wound finally healed, just hanging around your home out of curiosity, watching go about your day like normal.

After a little while of getting to know you further, he realizes that his wound, in fact, will never heal ‘properly,’ and it’s best that he doesn’t burden the council when he isn’t able to serve them again. Still, the urge to seek out to make wrongs right still thrums in his blood, and so he does so, quietly, under the other Fae’s radars. Getting certified as a private eye was only as difficult as coming up with some kind of false identity with all the proper papers, which with magic, didn’t seem to be too much of an issue. He passes whatever exams he has to take for the certifications, and he’s golden, going out into the world and helping people solve their mysteries and problems.

It probably helps that he has the face of an angel, something he doesn’t hide even when he glamors himself to look more human. A missing head is something that usually puts people off, so sometimes he will just replace it with an illusion spell, and occasionally he’ll stick on his actual head to go out. Even so, people seem more open to speaking to him because of his seemingly harmless demeanor. While he might have been initially put off by other humans when he first started poking around on this mortal realm, he soon learns the ins and outs of regular people conversations. A bit of flatter here, a tiny pinch of sympathy there, and it seems like clients and targets just fall over themselves to tell him everything they can.

It’s his eyes, you think, when he has them. The sandy-golden paleness of his eyes catches people’s attention as easily as though a well-known model walking down the street. Oh, and the shape of his jawline, that’s pretty nice to trace your fingers over, too. Even though he glamors over his natural skin color with a regular human color, a medium brown that matches the value of his natural gray tone, though he hasn’t quite mastered the art of looking as though actual red blood runs through his veins. His hair might be the thing that is the most eye-catching about him, um, though he rarely actually wears it. For one thing, it’s long, and usually braided down to the small of his back, the thick, white tresses almost pale enough to see in pitch blackness. You could swear that it reflects moonlight itself.

Though a bit iffy about it at first, your Dullahan also becomes adjusted to not running around headless, as that seems to draw all sorts of unwanted attention. The only exception to this is, actually, that one Halloween contest he won without even entering, with people oohing and awing at his lack of head. Luckily, you managed to get him the fuck out of there before anyone realized just what was really going on. Other than that, though, there haven’t been too many close calls where someone might have accidentally stumbled in on a very disgruntled, super headless man in your home. You’re usually on your toes about that, anyways.

#monster matches #dullahan

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forestwater87 · 5 years ago

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A moment to chat about “The Butterfinger Effect” (obv spoilers for S4e17)

Wow, so a lot of people fucking haaaaaated this episode. And since I’m addicted to That Discourse, I had to say something because I think they’re super wrong. (And this isn’t me just being a total Camp Camp fangirl here; like, the pee episode was bad. That was bad tv and bad for all the senses. There have been mediocre and even shitty episodes of this show; this just wasn’t one of them.)

There are a couple different points of criticism aimed at this episode, and while there’s one I’d like to take a deep dive into in particular I might as well take some shots at the others real fast:

The moral was too obvious: god, you guys whine all day and night that you wanna see Max show character growth and whenever he displays it you hate how it’s done. This show has never been one for subtlety. I mean, the climate change ep? This is how the show works; it’s part of its twisted-Saturday-morning-cartoons charm, it’s the most efficient way to get a point across in a short runtime, and it was the set up for the joke at the end of the episode.

It didn’t advance the plot: bitch what plot are you talking about???

Not enough dad//vid: listen I’ve made my thoughts about the fandom’s idea of dad//vid incredibly clear at this point, so let’s just:

The most common argument, though, is that it’s all so very “unrealistic” and “out of character.”

Considering the show’s concept of “realistic” involves squirrel armies (hey, another mediocre episode! See, I can call them when I see them) and a universe-destroying space octopus, I’m not sure how to rebut that without another Bianca del Rio gif. So, the out-of-character accusation.

Listen, characterization is hard as balls. Everyone fucks it up sometimes, and not every characterization in every episode is gonna work for you.

But you know who nailed it this time? Eddy Goddamn Rivas, the writer for this episode, that’s who.

In fact, I’d argue that the entire point of the episode is that it’s not Space/Race Kid’s new interest that caused the majority of the changes, or some sort of mystical “butterfly/finger effect,” but Nurf’s attempt to put things back to “normal.” He caused the thing he was trying to prevent -- which happens to dovetail perfectly with the moral of accepting change and not letting it freak you out.

This episode is brilliant, and plays with the canon characterizations of all our campers while staying true to them, and I’m gonna show you how.

Under a cut, because not everyone has time for that shit. But first, a juicy preview of the sexy discourse to come:

Space Kid

This one is the easiest to defend, because Space Kid is just . . . Race Kid. Aside from maybe having an idea that he’s cooler than he used to believe he was -- which makes sense, because why do people buy fancy sports cars except that they think it makes them look cool? -- we’ve seen his tendency to latch onto an interest and go 110%.

Reasonable, hilarious, and adorable. I actually don’t think anyone has any problem with Race Kid, so this is a quickie.

As for why he dropped it so fast: I mean, hasn’t everyone gotten really into something before deciding it wasn’t as fun as an old hyperfixation? I’ve been coming back to the Camp Camp well since 2016 because it’s just so much fun.

Nurf

Nurf is the one I think people are sleeping on. All the time, always, but especially in this episode. The summary hints that Max is the one unable to handle the idea of change -- something this entire season has been working towards, and I literally just realized change has been a thematic thread throughout several of the episodes and that’s really cool -- but it’s actually Nurf who can’t stand the thought of things being different.

And, in trying to prevent the “butterfinger effect,” he sets it in motion. The irony is delicious, and his head in a fishbowl makes me laugh every goddamn time.

(Also, “A battle of wits is not my strong suit” was just hysterical. Nurf is full of great lines and y’all need to stop ignoring what a comedic goldmine this kid is.)

Preston

Oh, I’m sorry, are we shocked that Preston would jump at the chance to be admired by people, even if it means doing something he doesn’t particularly enjoy?

Were we all in comas during the episode this very season that was literally only about this exact thing?

As to why he’d pick football: he’s a theater kid addicted to the corniest, most cliche tropes. When he got a taste of power by bullying Nurf -- which was also totally in character, because honestly, Preston is not a very nice kid -- of course he went to the thing that in every 80s teen movie meant “cool bully who’s super popular”: the sports jock.

Add to that getting positive recognition from Campbell -- who we’ll get to -- and this swap is totally in-character, and entirely kicked off by the power rush he got from finally getting to be the one who bullies instead of being bullied.

Nurf created his own worst nightmare by being afraid of change. This episode is fucking brilliant.

Harrison

To nobody’s surprise, Harrison is a sadist who thinks he’s hot shit.

He’s emotionally traumatized Neil to win an argument, he’s made Max vomit up, just, like, so many things and shown zero remorse, and got an unflappable sense of self-worth that skates right off the edge into total egotism.

These are the things we love about him. (And yes, obviously his arrogance comes from a deep well of insecurity, but that only exacerbates why he’d absolutely refuse to help Nurf, because it gives him a chance to be better than someone.)

As for why he’d choose to model himself after goth!Max . . .

Honestly, this one doesn’t entirely make sense to me. He’s never shown any particular interest in Max. The only thing I can assume is that . . . well, actually Max was right, and at least in Harrison’s eyes, he is at the top of the social hierarchy. And he got there by giving zero fucks about what anyone thinks of him.

Which is what Harrison did, by refusing to help Nurf. We come full circle!

(WAIT: When Max asks why he’s acting like . . . you know, him, Harrison’s response is, “Why? It’s not making you insecure, is it?” While we could take this as “I’m coming for your shtick,” it could also imply that Max’s general Maxyness makes Harrison feel insecure about who he is. Which explains why, as soon as he’s offered a chance to emulate someone who makes him feel insecure, he chooses Max.)

Ered

Nerris and Ered have established themselves as friends, and she at least has expressed a token interest in playing DnD before. She’s listened to Nerris talk about this stuff enough to repeat it at times -- albeit incorrectly -- and so, when there’s “nothing better to do,” she tries something her friend is super into and finds it really fun and embraces it.

I can attest that DnD totally turns you into a massive, shameless nerd. It’s just that awesome.

Plus, she’s too cool to give a shit if people think she’s being nerdy, so of course she’s not embarrassed about being seen dressed like a Viking; in “Ered Loses Her Cool,” she had that moment of growth where she decided that her coolness comes from her happily choosing to be herself.

Also, she gets to carry an axe around. So like, extra cool points for that.

Nerris

Nerris is gonna grow up to be a band geek, and she’ll especially enjoy the theatricality of marching around in parades while dressed like a Christmas Nutcracker. It’s like being a real-life bard.

This is the only one that really has a “supernatural” level to its change, except maybe the counselors (yes, I’ve come around on Neil; I’ll defend him at the end). While everyone else can be explained by psychological and in-character reasons, I have no idea what caused her to suddenly have this whole getup. I’d chalk it down to her seeing everyone else trying something new and being interested in upping her LARPing game, except she explicitly says she doesn’t know where it came from.

It’s one of the few that doesn’t make perfect sense, but I don’t really mind it because it’s such a top-tier episode otherwise.

Dolph

This is another one with questionable backing in the rest of the canon. However, I think it works less on a characterization basis than on an archetypical one.

Hear me out: how many artists actually make it professionally? And how many of them end up falling back on something solid and lucrative and artistically unfulfilling to pay the bills? Some people are of course lucky enough to land their dream job, and others are lucky enough to find something close enough to that dream job to make money while still doing something creative and adjacent to their interests (becoming an art teacher, for example).

But in Hollywood, at least, the idea is that you’re either a professional artist who Makes It, a starving artist who’s sacrificing for their dream, or a total corporate sellout who abandons their soul for the sake of profit. A child, especially one with a father so unsupportive of his artistic interests, would only have the Hollywood idea of success to fall back on, which means if Dolph was tying to think of a way to “grow up” and stop wasting his time on being an artist, of course he’d jump straight into the most famously corrupt, artistically soulless type of job possible.

The problem here, of course, is that I don’t know what triggered it; like Nerris, I don’t really see a clear line from motivation to new hobby. However, it works really well at poking fun of the “artist to sellout” pipeline portrayed in popular media, so I certainly can’t be mad at it.

Also, look at these credit scores:

David’s score is either astoundingly good -- 825 out of 850 -- or astoundingly bad -- 325 out of 850 -- depending on what that first number is. Gwen’s credit is pretty bad, which isn’t surprising considering she’s working at Camp Campbell, but I’m still proud of her for being either the second- or third-highest person at the camp.

None of the campers should have credit, so these numbers are just goofy, but I’m as shocked by Nikki’s “exceptional” credit as I am by Nurf’s “literally not on the chart by 298 numbers” rating. Assuming Dolph made at least the campers’ scores up, and we know he’s pretty good friends with Nikki, I assume he gave her a higher score because he likes her, Max’s is trash because their relationship is rocky at best, and Nurf’s is just petty and spiteful because he bullies Dolph, and I just love it.

(I assume Mr. Campbell’s credit is in negative numbers, and QM doesn’t exist on any official records.)

Counselors & Campbell

Campbell, I’m going to argue, makes sense.

This? Not so much.

I have no idea what Gwen’s talking about -- “I need her showing. We all agreed to it”???? -- and literally none of this makes sense in any understanding of characterization or anything, but my counterpoint would be:

Look how cute Gwen looks dressed up like David.

“Mumble, grumble, aliens!” and something about Mormons in David’s cheery voice adds 5 years to my life.

David’s floof is now beard.

David is wearing plaid.

QM. Just . . . QM.

Did I mention that Gwen looks so fucking good here? I swoon. So hot. Babe. Step on me, mommy.

Anyway. Campbell.

He’s not what you’d call . . . nurturing, by any means, so at first this weird dad!swap is totally out of left field. However, he has proven himself to be . . . well, not a great caretaker, but someone who does put in the effort when he has to, and is surprisingly good at dealing with the kiddos when forced.

He’s also proven himself to be remarkably introspective, starting back in Season 3. He does to an extent feel bad about what he’s done, and to varying extents wants to make amends for it. So when he starts talking about legacy, and what a man leaves behind --

-- I can’t say I’d be all that surprised if he stumbled upon Preston trying to be “cool” with sports camp and decided (probably with the help of whatever supernatural strangeness came over the other counselors) that he wants to have a better impact on this camp than a bunch of broken-down equipment, a pile of debts, and a “son” who’s disappointed in him.

Listen, what I’m trying to say is that I will die defending my Trash Grandpa and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. There’s good in him!!!! I CAN SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!

On a less “Campbell is my dad” note, as a rather stereotypical Manly Man(TM), he’d be best served helping some weedy little brat become more traditionally masculine. i’m saying Campbell was great at football in high school and is in part reliving his glory days, okay?

Nikki

Oh, come on. Nikki’s always shown an interest in science, and particularly in the mayhem it causes. When Neil is out of commission, and she sees that everyone else is doing major hobby swaps -- including Ered, who I believe she still sees as her idol -- why wouldn’t she want to join in on the fun in the most destructive way possible?

The show didn’t say she was a good scientist, after all.

Neil

Remember when I said I couldn’t defend Neil? WELL SURPRISE BITCHES, TURNS OUT I CAN!

(I didn’t realize it until halfway through writing this post, to be fair.)

But think about it: the boy does not respond well to his mind being freaked. We have observed this.

This is not a good reaction to an unsolvable logical problem.

I’m just saying, there’s not a huge difference between these pictures. Neil doesn’t do well when his brain is overloaded with things he doesn’t understand, and everyone around him turning into different people -- which is how it must look from their perspective, even if I can sit here and explain it in ways that make sense at least to me -- broke the poor boy’s brain.

He’s a very fragile ecosystem, our little Neil. You must protect him from thinking too many thinks and getting overheated.

So . . . yeah. This episode is rad, way more of it makes sense in terms of the characters’ motivations than people are giving it credit for, and the ones that don’t make a ton of sense are at least funny and clever enough to be overlooked, at least in this broad’s humble opinion.

#campcamp #camp camp roosterteeth #cc spoilers #no one is gonna read this #i feel like i used to be a bnf at some point #(when there was no competition)#but then i started writing mediocre fics and running my mouth about shit and then people got tired of my bullshit #which you know? fair #but i gotta let it out because i have FEELINGS #and i don't have the outlet of being an english major and writing 20-page papers about my feeling anymore

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gem-quest · 5 years ago

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[ B A L E S T R A . . . ]

“A great battle is a terrible thing,“ the old knight said, "but in the midst of blood and carnage, there is sometimes also beauty, beauty that could break your heart.” – George R R Martin

Real Name: Esther Meier (Nicknamed Essie at school, but she hates it)

Age: 19

FC: Alexia Giordano

Species & Class: Celestial Knight

Guild: Moonstone

Description of In-Game Powers: (Sorry this is super long. This is largely based off of DnD Aasimar and Paladins, but without trying to bring in actual divine powers. Instead I tried to make it more centered around a player’s perception of themselves and their actions. If this doesn’t fit with other species or the world, let me know!)

Celestials are what could arguably be defined as a light-based typically Moonstone-aligned species similar to sylphs or fae but without the connection to the environment around them. Instead, they seem to draw power from their own actions and convictions, making them a lot more internal than elemental species. Their path and their thoughts about their path define their progression. This makes their dialogue options, interactions with other PCs, and their approaches to passing certain levels very important in how they develop and the skills they gain. But it also makes their own assessment of their actions pivotal in their direction, unlike many other species. They don’t gain skills just by completing tasks, but based on how they perceive how they completed these tasks. Usually Celestial players tend to go for high Psyche/Charisma stats to boost their mental fortitude and balance. But Balestra doesn’t really understand balance beyond proper footwork. She makes up for this with a high willpower that shot even higher after her return to level 1. Willpower is a double-edged sword for Celestials since it enhances however a Celestial feels about their own actions regardless of whether this has a positive or negative effect, whereas other stats merely increase the potential for a Celestial to regard their action as good or heroic.

The interaction between player actions, player perspective, and leveling opportunities makes them a relatively unpopular species choice except for those gamers who like to save before every major NPC interaction and religiously google the different effects of game routes and encyclopedic lore entries before making any choices. In other words, most people find them tedious with a slow ramp and unpredictable leveling. Now that players can’t exit the game or return to save points, they’ve become pretty rare as they tend to die off quicker. But if they survive long enough and can find a good balance between mental stats, goals, and their class, they can become power houses. If not, they tend to be ineffective or even self-detrimental. An unstable Celestial can be equally powerful, but usually just as destructive to themselves as those around them…whether intended or not.

While they have the ability to learn flight, like sylphs, they have large feathered wings instead of diaphanous insect wings. Unlike fae, some classes of Celestials can even use these as melee weapons or shields, especially with specialized armor. Celestials also tend to have a strong affinity to light and some classes can practice light magic. The power of this is also connected to their perception of their actions, along with stats like psyche and charisma.

Regardless of other stats, Celestials’ main buff is in their luck, which extends to the rest of their party when in close proximity. In truth, Balestra didn’t even want to be a Celestial (or a Moonstone player, for that matter). But her school friends wanted that luck buff, and as always she played along. There was some fault with her copy of the game though, and when facing an attack against her party where she should have died, she ended up using up all of her luck buff (and even her luck stat) to reset to the beginning level while her friends died. In turn, her luck stat points randomly shifted to other traits. She can’t decide if she’s one of the luckiest or unluckiest Gem Quest players. In effect she died. All her items are gone, which happens to dead players. And all of her level progress disappeared. But something happened when she was reset. Not only does she have a luck of zero while still retaining all the negatives of the Celestial species; she lost the wings, flight abilities, and light affinity that are the only other Celestial perks. And moreover (and much more pressing), she can’t seem to use potions or magic on herself. Who knows if she can even get out of the game now if she can’t use Relinquium on herself.

Place of Birth: Berkshire, UK

Appearance:

She is most well known for defeating the wyrm Miro in nothing but the default character attire of white tunic and leather pants (mostly because she was on her second playthrough by then, trying frantically to regain all her lost ground, and partly not caring whether she died or not). While she does have a suit of engraved silver armor which she tends to wear in more active levels, and isn’t opposed to trading out her more martial attire for something a bit more flowy and delicate (god knows she needs whatever charisma bonus she can get on the levels that don’t rely on stabbing things), the beginning character outfit has become a bit of a calling card for her, along with her wild halo of curls. No matter what, she prefers to stick to more medieval or renaissance inspired clothing.

“Delicate in every way but one (the swordplay) God knows we like archaic kinds of fun (the old way) Chance is the only game I play with, baby We let our battles choose us” – Glory and Gore, Lorde

Places Most Likely to be Found In-Game: When not clearing levels, she tends to wander the Valley of Monsters since it’s Destrier’s home level. She’s found he’s easiest to deal with in a setting where he belongs, and becomes increasingly harder to control in more incongruous places (Few can forget that disastrous foray into the peaceful Moonstone haunt of the Gardens of Finvarra where Balestra and Destrier learned that no, eating fae NPCs does not count as eating fairy food. Balestra is needless to say not very popular among her guild). Beyond being known as a strange pariah figure people tell stories about having glimpsed speeding through levels in little more than the default character attire, she has gained a reputation as a pretty capable monster hunter for those in the market for parts but unable to handle battling beasties themselves. So she tends to spend more time in the monster-infested areas of levels than most players.

Current Inventory:

Not really inventory, but has somewhat tamed (keyword somewhat) a griffin she calls Destrier. To her that’s basically naming something horse, but she’s killed so many other mounts that she tries not to get attached. The two get along like a house fire. He has all the worst attributes of cats and birds; namely wanting to steal and then eat anything remotely shiny, wanting to kill and then eat anything that moves whether alive or not, not wanting to eat anything actually given to him as food because he didn’t get to kill it himself, being at once stubborn and proud while impressively lazy, and being altogether too smart for his own good and too stupid for Ess’s.

Halberd x 1

Quicksilver Longsword x 1 (This magical sword has the ability to change forms, shifting between rapier, longsword, knife, zweihander, and other bladed weapons which provide different stat bonuses. But it does have the distinct drawback of slowly poisoning its wielder with every use, lowering their hp and psyche dramatically for a period of time. The more its transformation powers are activated, the longer this effect lasts, which can eventually lead to an almost permanent madness. It has also been rumored to be addictive, causing the user to want more and more to shift between its forms.)

Rope x 1

Fire Salamander Gizzard x1 (Rare drop from Fire Salamanders used as a fire starter. Not as fast or reliable as a potion, and a lot more work to acquire. But if you can’t use potions you learn to make due)

Astragali Fortuna x6 (hippogriff knucklebones covered in runes which must be coated in the intended target’s warm blood to be used. They are rolled and then either buff/nerf a stat or induce the effect of a random potion in the game’s database depending on the symbols rolled. The probability of which potion effect is induced depends on the rarity of the potion. This effect does not last as long as a real potion’s. It is about as often detrimental as helpful to its target and is regarded by most players as unreliable for both personal and offensive use. A high luck score increases the chance of a positive outcome, as in part does willpower. But the exact formula for the RNG behind the item is unknown, and most players regard it as a possibly disastrous joke item.)

Venison Jerky x10

Full suit of armor x1 (she usually just wears bits and pieces since it does tend to lower her dexterity)

Beastmaster’s Gorget x1 (Ess actually isn’t a rider, but she needed that speed of a mount to regain her level progress, and she desperately wants to fly again. So she still uses a mount despite not having any of the helpful traits of a Rider player like knowing where your mount is, being able to call it, or being able to control its actions in battle. The gorget helps limit some of those problems. She thinks of it as a “Rogue Griffin GPS” with a bit of a defence buff. It ties him to her by a certain distance though it doesn’t really force him to obey her at all)

Strongest character trait: Stubborn, and she hates that about herself despite how many times it has saved her.

Strengths: creative and determined when she has a goal. She’s had to go about the game very differently her second time around, but she hasn’t succumbed to any of her handicaps yet and in many ways is a stronger player now than she ever was with her original group as her original Celestial Knight self.

Weaknesses: Conflicted, overthinking, and overly controlled when in reality she’s a lot more instinctive than she allows herself to be. She still has a hard time trusting herself

Player Stats: (I’m going based off of an average individual stat score being 5, so the average total should be around 50. But if that doesn’t seemed balanced, please let me know! Also, after Balestra used up all of her luck returning to level 1 instead of dying, her luck stat was redistributed randomly to her other stats –hence her having 2 sets of numbers. She thinks of herself like a paladin pre-glitch and something entirely different afterwards. The closest she can think of is cursed).

STRENGTH: 6 || 7

DEFENCE: 5 || 6

CHARISMA: 2 || 2

PSYCHE: 2 || 2

WILLPOWER: 6 || 9

CAUTIOUSNESS: 2 || 2

AGILITY: 8 || 8

ENDURANCE: 6 || 7

INTELLIGENCE: 7 || 7

LUCK: 6 || 0

Destrier Stats: He was once a fightable monster, right? So that means he has to have stats. I just figure he’d have fewer stat points than a PC, so I arbitrarily gave him 2/3 the total points I gave my PC. Again, let me know if that’s unbalanced. Since Balestra’s not a Rider (despite acting like one a lot of the time), she doesn’t get any stat bonus from him. He just does his own thing, which only sometimes aligns with what she wants him to do. She’s only able to marginally control him based on having a higher willpower and charisma, though only barely.

STRENGTH: 7

DEFENCE: 5

CHARISMA: 0

PSYCHE: 0

WILLPOWER: 7

CAUTIOUSNESS: 1

AGILITY: 6

ENDURANCE: 5

INTELLIGENCE: 3

LUCK: 1

Personality:

tld;dr: She’s goal/cause driven but without a cause, has spent so long being a malleable persona shaped by family and peer expectations and status but has found that without that microcosm she’s just a hollow shell reeling with misplaced anger and stifled independence that’s eating her from the inside out. She is quite intelligent and has taught herself to be disciplined despite actually being much more volatilely reactive than she’d like to admit.

Inscrutable, private, and quiet

Determined (when she has a goal, although she gets frustrated and dangerously unpredictable even to herself when she feels aimless)

So used to carefully crafting her image that she’s lost a lot of her internal sense of self and self-worth. She’s also quite comfortable with blanketing herself in little lies rather than show people the more vulnerable reality underneath. This doesn’t always mean she tries to make herself more appealing, sometimes she tries to push others away with lies instead.

Creative and Resourceful

Does best when faced with a problem. She likes solving things, and tends to pull herself together when faced with an external threat.

Vacillates between a guilt complex and a rigid disregard for the effects of her actions. In reality, she’s somewhere in the middle, but it’s unsettling having to face both what she’s done and how she’s not entirely sorry about it in order to actually come to terms with herself.

Overthinker to the extreme, but more because she’s trained herself to be so. In reality she’s pretty instinctive and reactive. But from family, school, and friends she’s learned to gauge every possible effect of her actions before taking a step. This led her to be paralyzed by indecision and more of a follower in real life, but now that she’s on her own and in charge of an even more instinctive and wild creature she’s had to chip away at that protective calculation and just act. It’s terrifying and freeing all at once.

Has a hard time reconciling her softer side with her sharp and harder tendencies. She tends to come off as biting, rigid, and distant but has a softer and more delicate side she tries to bury.

Quite independent but doesn’t fully trust herself. She’s so used to being part of something and deferring to others that she feels at times lost being on her own. She has cycles of loneliness and defiance where she just wants to push people away and forge her own path.

Has a very dark sense of humor, but she doesn’t let that out for just anyone. She’s gotten most comfortable with Destrier, just by sheer amount of time spent with him and the fact that she has few other people to talk to. Sure, he doesn’t quite talk back, but he has his own brand of snark and the two have a weird back and forth.

“And each man stands with his face in the light. Of his own drawn sword, ready to do what a hero can.” –Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Biography:

Why was she here? Esther asked that often, as she stared down the slathering maw of some fabled beast with nothing but a halberd between them, as she grasped tight to a half-tamed griffin’s feathers and fought it all the way into the sky for some semblance of control, or as she sat alone beside a sputtering fire and stared up at the false constellations of another simulated night which seemed to hulk too low and too heavy above her.

Why was she here, in this chaotic mess of monsters fighting for nothing, in this broken body which couldn’t remember how to heal or shine or fly? Of course, she knew the answer. Every time a blow missed, or a lingering wound ached as she tried to find some substitute for a potion, or a new party passing on a trail gave her the wide berth of a plague ship, she knew. Helena. Everything had always been Helena.

It was Helena who found her when she first started Wellington, when she was just some state school scholarship kid whose father was a jumped-up real estate agent with notions. It was Helena who dragged Esther to her family’s events like some new toy to show off, where Esther would sit still as a statue while Helena left her to talk with old friends, afraid to touch anything, afraid they would know she didn’t belong. It was Helena who had crowned her “Essie” and stared down the boys who threw pencils in her curls to see if they would stick. But it was Helena who would braid her hair into messy pigtails and make sure to tug, just a few times, just to see if she would wince. It was Helena who tasted like candy apple vodka and stifled laughter at a pre-exam party, all the grace and perfect ease of a sun with its planets in orbit. But it was Helena who kissed her full on the lips and left her wide-eyed and speechless, and then told her in that whimsical tone that made it seem like you had a choice through the underlying bite of a command, “I think you and Thom would be cute together. I think I would like that.” It was Helena who threw the two of them together. Thom with his clumsy, grasping hands and his jealous streak. Thom who only had two things in common with her; the fencing team (where he waddled about like a safety hazard with an epee), and Helena, who they would do anything for.

It was Helena who was beautiful and bright, shining and sharp, commanding and fickle and cruel. So of course, after graduation when their group was thrown to the wind and Esther found herself at the Sorbonne for Medieval Studies which Helena had always called “pointless, dull old nonsense,” when Helena had called up “on a whim,” Esther dropped everything. In all honestly, there hadn’t been much to drop. Her father had called the day before. Something about a bad deal and money troubles, how they couldn’t afford her program or apartment anymore. Something about money for the next train from Paris. Something about problems at home, something with his secretary, of course because her father didn’t have the creativity for an affair beyond the cliche. So of course Helena appeared like salvation, something to follow, something to hide in, something to drown herself in so she wouldn’t have to think. Instead of packing up her apartment and buying a ticket home, she spent the last of her money on a VR headset for this new game Helena had heard of.

It was Helena who wanted to be in Moonstone; she heard there was a level just for Moonstone players to throw wild parties, that the simulation was better than any drug on the street. It was Helena who wanted Esther to be a Celestial; it would be more fun for everyone with that luck bonus, and that much easier for them all to get to that party level. And nobody else wanted to play as one, they were “hopelessly dull” after all.

But it was Esther who got them through the levels. It was Esther whose fencing skills saved them from beast after beast, whose studies gave her hints to riddles the rest of the group were too impatient and bored to puzzle through. It was Esther who first heard the announcement, that there was no way out of the game anymore, that relinquium was off the market and chances to bribe Jacqueline were disappearing. And she heard the whispering, how Thom and Helena and the others wondered how much their parents would pay to bribe their way out, how it really wasn’t that much fun here anyways, how they all just wanted to leave. They were all so sure, so confident with their parents’ money behind them that nothing could hurt them, that they could just leave when they were bored. They didn’t even spare a thought for her, they didn’t even stop to wonder what would happen if they left her behind, just like they never stopped to wonder what would happen to them if they didn’t have her there in the first place.

It was Esther who suggested storming the dragon’s lair. She told herself she just wanted to convince them why it was worth staying, why they needed her, why they couldn’t just leave her behind. But she knew it was a lie. Thom was the first to die, and she didn’t have to do anything. He was always rash, thoughtless, always trying to impress and always falling short. Those clumsy hands that had fumbled with her uniform as she disgustedly lay there and thought, ‘this was what Helena wanted,’ never really got the hang of the in-game sword mechanics. Not even Esther’s luck bonus could help him. For a glorious, fire-choked moment somewhere between heaven and hell as the dragon slashed him to pieces and charred the remains, Esther felt right. She felt free. Some tried to fend off the beast, but they were of little use without her there to lead the charge. The others tried to flee, desperately trying to search through inventories for any potions or scrolls to help. But Esther had always been the fastest, and she had luck on her side. Their blows came to nothing. Their magic fizzled in their hands. They were left shocked and frozen as she swung at them in perfect, practiced confidence. Helena didn’t even have time for fear. She just stared with offended disbelief, as if somehow she was more upset Esther had acted without her approval than that Esther was plunging a sword into her chest. And then there was nothing, Esther had killed not just some random NPC, not just some nameless member of another guild or even some unknown from her own guild; she had killed her friends. She had swung the sword with the vicious satisfaction that they would well and truly die. And worse, she didn’t care. For once, it felt right. She didn’t stop to think. She didn’t worry. She just swung her blade.

The last thing Esther remembered was the dragon reaching down for her; the sharp kiss of its claws; the warmth of flames as her hair and face and glorious wings charred away. And then she was back at the beginning, with nothing.

Relationships:

Char 1 -

Balestra Playlist

Heretic Pride || The Mountain Goats

Falling || HAIM

Glory and Gore || Lorde

Horse & I || Bat for Lashes

Arsonist’s Lullaby || Hozier

Torches || The Oh Hellos

Miracle || CHVRCHES

Shrike || Hozier

I of the Storm || Of Monsters and Men

The Yawning Grave || Lord Huron

Fire Rides || MØ

Extras:

Esther Playlist

Oxford Comma || Vampire Weekend

Friends || RAYE

Don’t Save Me || HAIM

Karma || Years & Years

The Hamptons || Transviolet

Academia || Sia

Mirror || IDER

Only if For a Night || Florence + the Machine

Other:

After she glitched out she can’t use any potions. She doesn’t know exactly why, but she simply can’t affect herself with temporary magic without horrible glitchy side effects (this does not make her immune to spells from other players though, much to her general dismay). It’s made regaining levels a bit of a nightmare, but mostly she just misses being able to fly. It’s also meant that she’s had to get creative on some levels, especially those tailored to other guilds where the main strategy for non-guild members is a specific magical item. Also, because of this she doesn’t know if she even can leave the game, since the only method now is the potion Relinquium.

Hasn’t been the member of a party since her original party was wiped out and she reset back to level 1. She also has little to no guild loyalty. In fact, she seems much better suited to Obsidian and enjoys most of their claimed levels more than those of Moonstone, which tend to have more goals and interactions which wreak havoc with her corrupted Celestial nature.

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/euclidice/balestra/

#balestra #esther #moonstone #character info #is this all based around the premise that I really like making knight and armor dolls? Yeah mostly #but there are worse reasons to do something

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cxncordia · 5 years ago

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So, where have I been?

On hiatus.

I’m so sorry to all of the people I was playing with before my hiatus. One thing led to the other and eventually I just didn’t have a single ounce of desire to be here. Sorry I did not announce it or make a big deal out of it, work sprung on me, then life, then other commitments and before I knew it a whole month had came through. Then I simply decided to just not even give tumblr a chance and let it simmer for a bit.

So I decided to use that time to do some soul searching.

To be absolutely honest, I don’t like to RP in this place. Except for a few friends who are always up to whatever I throw their way, I’m not happy to be here.

My big main problems:

I rarely get the plots that I want picked up. I don’t know if it’s my verbose threads, my faulty grammar or my lack of desire to play “fan favorite face claims”, but I am normally struggling to get my plots picked up. Case in point, the last single verse idea that was meant to last a month: at first I thought “well, people aren’t so much into the idea of a horror verse”, but then I switched it to something Disney-y and DnD-esque and still got 1 hit back only.

I rarely get the FCs that I want against me. I only have this problem when playing bottom, but not when playing top. Mainly because some of the fan favorite face claims are boys that I want to fuck... but I get so many hits with those faces that I tend to lock those out normally and reserve them only for my friends and close people. So, let’s not talk about my desire for a dom top Matt Barr to pounce my guys that has yet to be materialized.

I like plotting before sexing. Everyone says this, but I think I really do. This past month I’ve been live roleplaying through discord in both English and my mother tongue. Though my experience has not been the ideal I had in mind, I realize that I don’t really mind if my character has sex. What I do mind is having a story that I can push forward and get a conclusion. Most threads never get past the fourth round of replies and when it’s something super complex and super interesting I rarely get people support me (except for these few friends who do).

I really hate the SJW rethorics of tumblr. Everything is a fight. There is always a fire. The angrier the post, the bigger the likes... aren’t you guys tired of putting out fires every single week over the most unconsecuential and irrelevant stuff? Ships? Writing? If a show is problematic or not? if an actor is woke or not? And god forbid I post an opinion that is not recognized as popular because all these labels come flying right at my face. Well, whatever, call me what you want but the label says more about you than it says about me. Yet, I have enough of this shit going on in the meatspace to be worried about it in the rping sphere.

This is not anyone’s fault and I’m not going to be pushing it down anyone’s throat. This is the current state of tumblr rping from my end and I currently don’t have any real strategies to solve these issues.

So, until these strategies are found or established (by me) consider that this blog is under hiatus, currently archived, all threads are dropped and I’m going to be around. You can still reach me through this blog which will be periodically (but not constantly) checked on. If you’re a friend, ask for my discord and we can talk through there if you need.

So, it’s not really a good bye because I’m still around, I’m just not playing at the moment.

You can still come for the hot men, though. Those are going to forever be reblogged here.

#sorry to all my followers #feel free to unfollow if you have to

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isolated-loser · 5 years ago

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Log 0021, 5:26am, 7-22-2019

Thursday, the 4thof July, I ran a one shot. It was fucking hilarious. My player did a whole bunch of stupid shit. I loved it, it was great. One of my players in the one shot, Ranger, swam up a giant squid’s ass. Then a nether one of my players joined him. Then Ranger casted spike growth in this squid’s ass, all most killing it. Ranger also shot a nether player, Shaggy, who was running away in the ass with a harpoon gun. That game was great. Nymph didn’t do much, but she looked like she was having fun.

Also last Thursday, the 11th, I was hanging outside the shop, cuss the game hadn’t started yet. And eyebrows ask if I wanted to walk with him to burger king, I was like sure, cuss half of the other players are over there anyway. It was interesting to say the least watching him interact with others. He really seems less awkward talking to anyone other than me. Like, goddamn, I’m a dude not a snake, probably. It was funny the entire time he’s trying not to make it awkward, but that’s what’s making it awkward. He’s a weird dude. Wish, I wasn’t in to weird dudes, But here we are. idk why he

In lash’s campaign, last Thursday, the 11th, I got to water ski butt ass naked, without any equipment, while singing opera, then after I was done and climbed back on ship one of the other players told me to roll dex, and I did with a 13, needed a 16 IE, I didn’t save, this dude cast levitate on me, so I was now and parasailing butt ass naked, without any equipment. I’m a 7 and a half foot tall male half orc, this is not what any of the party wanted to see, I may be a pretty half orc, but I’m still a lightly fuzzy man. One of the other Pcs was like hell no and punched the wizard so he’d has to do a concentration check, the wizard it a bad bitch and has that good ac play shield as a reaction and the minotaur didn’t hit, so the minotaur rages dose again, hits dose enough damage the wizard saves on his concentration check, but’s like fuck you moves levitate to the minotaur, I fall in to the water gracefully as fuck mate cuss I gut expertise in that acrobatics, I mean it only a +4 cuss I have no dex but, like. We also got a new player! She’s very nice, I’m glad she joined are table.

The last few days have feel been long… So, so, long… Gods, I don’t want to type about it, but I need to. Monday, the 15th of July, I got two new players, a marred couple. At first everything was cool. They did mention getting kicked out of a few other games, but that seemed nice enough. I was running a one shot instead of the regular campaign, cuss I didn’t think most of my players would show, though most did, actually. And I just wanted to run this one shot again. It all went well, invited the new players to the shops discord, as is standard. The new players, and some of the other non-regulars, are saying in the chat how much fun they had, how I was a great Dm, shit like that. I just thought they were sucking up to me, the DM, for cooler stuff. & I got a private message from the chick about hanging out sometime, it was a bit odd, but not setting off too many flags, & I was like yeah sounds cool, and we scheduled something for next Friday. They just seem really friendly, and happy to be in a game.

Then, Tuesday, the 16th, as I was walking out the door to go to paint jam, I checked the shops discord, and several people were talking about how they had a lot of fun Monday, so, I was like I’m going to be at the shop so if a few of you show up, I’ll run a one off. Three players showed the couple, and one of my regulars who played with them in the past. They all wanted to keep the characters from the Monday one shot, so I just made the one off their session zero, like how they got to the main campaign. Everything went well, they at one point mention that they’re poly, polysexual or polyamorous I don’t know, so nothing too weird, we finish. They leave, & few minutes after their in the chat, with the regular, about how awesome the game was. I get a few private messages from the chick, there friendly, nothing too odd. And, I get a couple from the guy. He’s like me and wivey are loving the game, I send back some gladly shit like I do, then he sends something like going ask some weird questions, I was like ok, thinking it had to do with the campaign, and he ask if I was see anyone, not too weird, I’ve been asked this several times by many people for no real reason, and he also wanted to make sure their flirting wasn’t making me uncomfortable, I was like, not at all have I thought it funny, cuss I thought he meant with each other. Then hes then he was like they’re fond of me, his wife a bit more than him, and asked if it was cool for them to continue flirting with me, and for me to flirt back, to me at the time they didn’t seem to be acting that odd like though it was joke flirting, so I was like yea sure, then he sent back a cool because you’re cute, I just replied with the stuck out tongue winking eye emoji as discord calls it, still thinking it was just like jokes and shit, he sent back glad we’re on the same page. They seem abit overly, friendly.

Wednesday, the 17th, I woke up checked discord like I do sometimes; the chick invited everyone to the discord to their place, and I knew the people going some of my regulars, and Presh, I thought it would be ok, cuss there were people I know there, really shouldn’t have but I said, sure I’ll go. Couple hours later, being nagged, some by the chick, it was annoying, but didn’t seem bad. Then I got there, a bit earlier than everyone else, the chick hugged me, don’t like being touched without knowing someone a while, I mean really don’t. She didn’t know that. The rest of the day was fine, it was fun. Everything was ok, I ran dnd, it went well. The night came to a close, I ended up being the last person there, I called my ride, cuss I really didn’t want to be there anymore, and she didn’t pick up. I should have lied and did some billshitery to get out of there, like said to the voice mail oh cool see you in a few, I’ll meant you at the gate, then said my ride is close by and I want to walk back or something. They had offered me a ride back to my place, I shouldn’t have fucking taken it, ie see billshitery, but I’m an idiot and wanted to get away from them. On the ride back they were way too friendly, like way too friendly. Oh you live close, if you ever need a ride just messages us, come over whenever you feel like. When we got to my place, the chick got out to hug me again. Then more messages about how much fun the game was, blab la bla. At this point I was starting to get that the flirting wasn’t a joke, and I was getting creeped out.

Thursday, the 18th, I got some more messages from them, in the main discord the chick was talking about how she had a dream about my one shot, she also private messaged me about it, the dude private messaged me about how he had been staring at me the night previous, and that I was neat. I didn’t answer there was a table doing a one shot and they had mention in main chat about wanting to go., they didn’t, thank you gods. I asked all the DMs what I should do about it, they were all like just tell them to stop, that’s not cool, and variations of. I told some of my female friend, Nymph, Presh, Queen, as well as Paint Master. Nymph was like yeah that creep and not cool, Preah was like yeah it weird tell to stop they can move to my table, Paint Master said if I wanted he’d come on Mondays and stand behind me with a baseball bat full of nails, Queen was like yeah that not right and had me talk to one of the people at the shop who helped me write a massage to them.

Then I sent to both of them, the dude reposed in less than a minute with some dushy shit. The next day the chick was like i don’t know what you mean then and hour later was like huby clued me in, we’re not going to play there anymore for your comfort, then they left the chop discord. I didn’t respond to any anything, I don’t know how the other players who knew them are going to react, if there going to hate me and want to move tables or what. But gods this whole thing has be awful…

After this, I relied, I really don’t have a problem with Presh, she’s a little annoying, but she’s amazing when compared to this shit.

Tuesday, the 16th, I tried to get collige stuff in order, it not working out well. it stressing me out so fucking badly.

Wednesday, the 17th, be for that shit, I did watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail, with my little bro, it was fab. I wish I had watched it earlier.

Thursday, the 18th, in Lash’s campaign I dint do much but I did get a new pair of boots and purchased 110 pastries. Plus I made the minotaur angry, by betting on the other lady minotaur, & maybe casting healing word on said other minotaur. Haha. I’m going to die, he’s going to kill my poor Danny.

Saturday, the 20th, I did Landry. Then went to karaoke with Presh, it was fun. There was Presh, one of her friend that I knew, one of her friends that I didn’t, one of her players who I met Thursday, plus her parents. It was so fucking weird. I sang “The Ballad of Mona Lisa” & “Write Sins Not Tragedies” by panic at the fucking disco. A drunk woman said I had potential, which was nice; though, I’m not super inclined to believe it. It was so embarrassing, says the person who knew full well it was going to be. It was fun though, I’ll most likely be doing it again. I got to act a fool & I got to talk about DND too, which I just love.

Today, the 21, I was supposed to go volunteer with the rabbit rescue, but I fucking slept all day which kinda sucks… I hate how this keeps happening, two weeks ago I was too depressed to get out of bed so I didn’t go, then it was that fucking hurricane, and now I just sleep throe it.

Paint Master wants to be in my campaign which it fucking awesome, & Nergal asked about it, as well as a nether dude I don’t know the name of. I’m pretty sure shaggy going to be back from whatever he was up to. So even if half my players disappears cuss of those assholes it will be all right. Probably.

I've pretty much been crying several times a day. I mean, I really don’t want to live right now.

Idk, what else to add, I’m sure a lot but I’ve been trying to finish this sense Friday night.

Signing Off...

Favorite song today: Disease by Beartooth

Mood: Shit

#intp #Drama #Dungeons and Dragons #bipolar #actuallybipolar #personal #deppresion #Dnd #idk

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