#so many good and functional designs
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
in the nightmares
#art#sketch#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#evan afton#cc afton#crying child#fredbear#the design and the functionality#80s#a bit experimental#I really want to get back to working on my au but progress is slow atm#so many atmospheric pieces recently and it would be good to make lore significant ones instead#haha ^^’
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
siding with orpheus and making him undergo ceremorphosis is what seems to me as the evil ending among those where you defeat the netherbrain. fucking amazing that it's the most popular one. like genuinely seriously it's so fucking good that they made the more sinister ending seem more appealing. i mean you can 1) not betray the guy who was helping you all this time or 2) free orpheus once and for all and players really choose neither. they choose betrayal and they choose orpheus to be the one to do the sacrifice. really did everything to make you see that you and the emperor are the same
#this is such ugh. good writing? game design? im not good with those words but it is so fucking cool#this interpretation of course can be challenged with the divine right of kings arguement#like iirc both voss and laezel seem more hopeful if orpheus was freed even if only to become an illithid#but orpheus does say that like yeah someone else should lead githyanki revolution#and it's not like laezel or voss give up at all. so idk for the githyanki i don't see a functional difference#also they both let you know that illithid orpheus is not like a best solution for the githyanki. to put it mildly#so yeah. the good and right ending is to free him and become an illithid. but not many people seem to choose this one#yet genuinely consider themselves or their tav to be morally in the right#anywayyy orpheus did kind of grew on me. i appreciate your function in the narrative as an example of someone actually heroic <3
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Got an amber alert for a child abduction this evening, and as is typical with amber alerts it linked to the twitter post from the relevant police department to get the detailed description of the victim, suspect, and car involved, but because I don’t have a twitter account it took literally fifteen minutes for me to get the post to load, a problem I have been having frequently since Elon Musk bought the platform, and gosh this feels like something out of a dystopia
#i just …#the point of amber alerts is to get this information out as soon as possible to as many people as possible#because the chances of safely recovering abduction victims go down *drastically* after the first couple hours#so it is *critical* to get that info out to as many people asap#and the fact that it took me so long to get any information from this alert designed solely with the purpose of disseminating information#solely because the platform it uses has been turned into a functionally unusable vanity project for some asshat with way too much money#absolutely infuriates me#not everyone has a twitter account#and not everyone has the time or ability to obsessively check and reload a webpage until it works#especially when the point is to get the information out NOW#idk if i’m articulating this clearly i’m just pissed off#anyways thankfully the child in question has been located safely so that’s very good#I’m just irritated because you should not need to have a twitter account to get information on a missing child#twitter#elongated muskrat
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
youtube
you guys should check this out. btw.
#IM SO STUPID EXCITED FOR IT????? IT LOOKS SO COOL????? OH MY GOD#LIKE I ALREADY KNEW IT WOULD BE GOOD BUT IT FINALLY BEIGN SO CLOSE IS!!!!! WHOAAAAASSA#and god it has so many mechanics and little things#it's such a big change from pocket mirror im!!!!!!!#whoaaaaaaaa#also. im so obsessed with the lesbian dating sim function.#that was actually tje biggest plot twist to me#when they first teased it i thought it was a joke#if u had told 2018 me (thats when i first played pocket mirror i think) that the long-awaited prequel would have a lesbian dating sim#i wouldve lost my mind it sounds so fun skfjskfjskfm#and aaaaaahhhh really the 90s anime style is so fitting#i had my doubts at first but it is so fitting#perfect for elise the kind of a dummy oujousama im so excited#idk if ill play on release date probably not#but ooohhh boy#cant believe its finally here#god#and the character design is so good#i need to make time to draw her#can't wait can't wait#mar's midnight rambles#also i say prequel but you don't actually have to play the other game before this im p sure
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Amazing how it took the developers of Poppy Playtime two whole chapters to finally make a bare minimum of a functional game
#like yeah its leagues above the previous chapters but thats because the previous chapters were a hittily put together sloppy buggy mess that#shouldnt have been released in the way that they are right now. Chapter 3 is what chapter 1 should have been like#and yeah it's still a cashgrab at heart. its so distateful that they already made merch for chapter 3 that you could buy BEFORE it even#released. theyre 100% money driven. but at least if chapter 4 improves even more on what was in chapter 3 i think it can be a decent game#i dont think it can ever be a GOOD game because of what a disaster of two first chapters it has. not unless they completely rework them. and#with its story reaching its end slowly i doubt there even is time to make it a good game even if the last chapters are amazing in quality.#even if the last chapters are GREAT (which i doubt) it will never be anything else than a highly mixed medicore at best game. because it'll#always have this shitty developer studios' greed and the shitshow that were the first 2 chapters weighing it down#honestly. if chapter 3 or something akin to it was the first thing that was released of this game i would have actually liked it. yeah it#wouldnt be GREAT but it'd be decent and enjoyable. but instead it has its garbage first chapters staining what it could have been. it's#insane that I even have to praise a developer studio for delivering a BARE MINIMUM of a game. what the fuck is this. what happened to the#state of games. its shameful that releasing a barely functional nothing burger and charging for it became acceptable in any way#that aside even chapter 3 could improve in many areas. it feels more like a puzzle game with horror elements rather than a horror game with#puzzle elements. every time you get to a puzzle the game just halts to a complete stop. all the suspence they could have gotten just#completely dies on the spot. ive played and watched many horror games with puzzles in them and i like them a lot but this is just not how#you do that. it feels like youre walking from puzzle to a puzzle and all the interesting things that happen with actual substance happen in#between puzzles but instead of focusing on that it feels like the game focuses on the puzzles. it should be the other way around damn it#but i think if chapter 4 keeps the overall quality of chapter 3 and ups the scares while dailing down the puzzles or incorporating them#better into the atmosphere and story it might actually be a good horror game. well that chapter at least.#also ik the monster designs are very...mascot horror and analogue horror cliches but i actually enjoy them. Mummy Longlegs was medicore and#forgetful like the rest of her chapter and her only saving grace was her death scene. Huggy Wuggy's (god what a name) design and animations#and chase sequence were the only good thing of chapter 1 so i think if it was put into something of much better quality then it could#actually hold up. And I really like CatNap's design for some reason. The way he moves is creepy and yeah the face design is goofy as hell#but i can forgive it. i like that the fumes he releases makes you see him as a far creepier monster than he is that took me by surprise.#Also his death scene FUCKED severely by far the best scene in the entire game imo. Also I actually enjoyed his story? i cant believe im#saying this but chapter 3 and analogue horror videos actually got me interested in this game's story and where it will go. Insane.#and speaking of the analogue horror videos they made are good. WAY too good. I dont trust like that. They for sure hired somebody to make#them for them theres no way in hell they didnt. But yeah thats my opinion on this series. Over all not a good game and a complete cash grab#dont buy it there are way better games out there even in the mascot horror genere. But the quality did go up and it gets me hopeful#anyway my impromtu poopy playtime review's over
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love so much about the hotd dragons except that. they have bat arm-wings.
#like i suppose in terms of scientific anatomics it's probably the more likely configuration for a dragon to exist in really#the whole arms (forelegs) and more arms (wings) is sort of. a challenge and doesn't make a huge amount of sense functionally#so many shoulders#but also. dragons™ have six limbs y'know? that is a wyvern#((this is semantics and not even semantics everyone adheres and arguably dragon is the umbrella term anyway bUT---))#anyway. vhagar's big nasty komodo dragon design is soooooo good#it's a little strange how they don't really explain if like. the Body Shapes And Features have a reason for being different?#but. i realize technically the taxonomy of the dragons isn't really the focus here#i just want it to be ;skjfdg;ldksjfg
1 note
·
View note
Text
petition to bring this back.



God I miss this suit.
#truly the best RH design#so good in so many ways#actually protective#totally cool looking#actually functional#practical#really it is fantastic in every way#living in the world where this is the only red hood suit#the new one is merely a mark of comics that don't know what they're doing with Jason
934 notes
·
View notes
Text
why are printers so hated? it's simple:
computers are good at computering. they are not good at the real world.
the biggest problems in computers, the ones that have had to change the most over the time they've existed, are the parts that deal with the real world. The keyboard, the mouse, the screen. every computer needs these, but they involve interacting with the real world. that's a problem. that's why they get replaced so much.
now, printers: printers have some of the most complex real-world interaction. they need to deposit ink on paper in 2 dimensions, and that results in at least three ways it can go on right from the start. (this is why 3D printers are just 2D printers that can go wrong in another whole dimension)
scanners fall into many of the same problems printers have, but fewer people have scanners, and they're not as cost-optimized. But they are nearly as annoying.
This is also why you can make a printer better by cutting down on the number of moving elements: laser printers are better than inkjets, because they only need to move in one dimension, and their ink is a powder, not a liquid. and the best-behaved printers of all are thermal printers: no ink and the head doesn't move. That's why every receipt printer is a thermal printer, because they need that shit to work all the time so they can sell shit. And thermal is the most reliable way to do that.
But yeah, cost-optimization is also a big part of why printers are such finicky unreliable bastards: you don't want to pay much for them. Who is excited for all the printing they're gonna be doing? basically nobody. But people get forced to have a printer because they gotta print something, for school or work or the government or whatever. So they want the cheapest thing that'll work. They're not shopping on features and functionality and design, they want something that costs barely anything, and can fucking PRINT. anything else is an optional bonus.
And here's the thing: there's a fundamental limit of how much you can optimize an inkjet printer, and we got near to it in like the late 90s. Every printer since then has just been a tad smaller, a tad faster, and added some gimmicks like printing from WIFI or bluetooth instead of needing to plug in a cable.
And that's the worst place to be in, for a computer component. The "I don't care how fancy it is, just give me one that works" zone. This is why you can buy a keyboard for 20$ and a mouse for 10$ and they both work plenty fine for 90% of users. They're objectively shit compared to the ones in the 60-150$ range, but do they work? yep. So that's what people get.
Printers fell into that zone long, long ago, when people stopped getting excited about "desktop publishing". So with printers shoved into the "make them as cheap as possible" zone, they have gotten exponentially shittier. Can you cut costs by 5$ a printer by making them jam more often? good. make them only last a couple years to save a buck or two per unit? absolutely. Can you make the printer cost 10$ less and make that back on the proprietary ink cartridges? oh, they've been doing that since Billy Clinton was in office.
It's the same place floppy disks were in in about 2000. CD-burners were not yet cheap enough, USB flash drives didn't exist yet (but were coming), modems weren't fast enough yet to copy stuff over the internet, superfloppies hadn't taken over like some hoped, and memory cards were too expensive and not everyone had a drive for them. So we still needed floppy disks, but at the same time this was a technology that hadn't changed in nearly 20 years. So people were tired of paying out the nose for them... the only solution? cut corners. I have floppy disks from 1984 that read perfectly, but a shrinkwrapped box of disks from 1999 will have over half the disks failed. They cut corners on the material quality, the QA process, the cleaning cloth inside the disk, everything they could. And the disks were shit as a result.
So, printers are in that particular note of the death-spiral where they've reached the point of "no one likes or cares about this technology, but it's still required so it's gone to shit". That's why they are so annoying, so unreliable, so fucking crap.
So, here's the good news:
You can still buy a better printer, and it will work far better. Laser printers still exist, and LED printers work the same way but even cheaper. They're still more expensive than inkjets (especially if you need color), but if you have to print stuff, they're a godsend. Way more reliable.
This is not a stable equilibrium. Printers cannot limp along in this terrible state forever. You know why I brought up floppy disk there? (besides the fact I'm a giant floppy disk nerd) because floppy disks GOT REPLACED. Have you used one this decade? CD-Rs and USB drives and internet sharing came along and ate the lunch of floppy disks, so much so that it's been over a decade since any more have been made. The same will happen to (inkjet) printers, eventually. This kind of clearly-broken situation cannot hold. It'll push people to go paperless, for companies to build cheaper alternatives to take over from the inkjets, or someone will come up with a new, more reliable printer based on some new technology that's now cheap enough to use in printers. Yeah, it sucks right now, but it can't last.
So, in conclusion: Printers suck, but this is both an innate problem caused by them having to deal with so much fucking Real World, and a local minimum of reliability that we're currently stuck in. Eventually we'll get out of this valley on the graph and printers will bother people a lot less.
Random fun facts about printing of the past and their local minimums:
in the hot metal type era, not only would the whole printing process expose you to lead, the most common method of printing text was the linotype, which could go wrong in a very fun way: if the next for a line wasn't properly justified (filling out the whole row), it could "squirt", and lead would escape through gaps in the type matrix. This would result in molten lead squirting out of the machine, possibly onto the operator. Anecdotally, linotype operators would sometimes recognize each other on the street because of the telltale spots on their forearms where they had white splotches where no hair grew, because they got bad lead burns. This type of printing remained in use until the 80s.
Another fun type of now-retired printers are drum printers, a type of line printer. These work something like a typewriter or dot-matrix printer, except the elements extend across the entire width of the paper. So instead of printing a character at time by smacking it into the paper, the whole line got smacked nearly at once. The problem is that if the paper jammed and the printer continued to try to print, that line of the paper would be repeatedly struck at high speed, creating a lot of heat. This worry created the now-infamous Linux error: "lp0 on fire". This was displayed when the error signals from a parallel printer didn't make sense... and it was a real worry. A high speed printer could definitely set the paper on fire, though this was rare.
So... one thing to be grateful about current shitty inkjet printers: they are very unlikely to burn anything, especially you.
(because before they could do that they'd have to work, at least a little, first, and that's very unlikely)
8K notes
·
View notes
Note
why do you think indie metroidvanias specifically take so long to make, and is there a solution that you'd like to see them go for? (i know that would likely mean a compromise of some kind, but like, you know)
The reason why is fairly obvious: the classic metroidvania formula makes it very easy to fall prey to unintentional scope creep and is a positive nightmare to QA.
Non-linear progression gating based on precision platforming challenges where the player's basic moveset is constantly changing means every little thing needs to be rigorously tested in every part of the gameworld, carefully checking every room with every combination of abilities the player could conceivably possess for a wide range of failure states.
Is there some combination of abilities that allows the player to get into this room, but not out of it afterwards? Is there some combination of abilities that allows the player to do things in an order you didn't expect? Does that variation in sequencing in turn create situations where the player can end up somewhere without an ability you had assumed was required to get there? And so forth.
Even once you've got everything tested, it's not over. Every tiny change during development, even as small as adding or subtracting a couple of percentage points from the player character's jumping height or walking speed, can potentially have a domino effect that introduces a whole new set of failure states. It's not a pretty picture!
As for solutions, the one most solo or small-team metroidvanias end up adopting is to put a damper on the exponential QA explosion by linearising progression. If you haven't flipped the right switch or visited the right room, the door simply doesn't open, the progression-critical cutscene simply doesn't trigger, and so forth. Even big-name metroidvanias often make judicious use of this one: for example, Super Metroid has certain doors in the early game that just arbitrarily will not open until you've collected a couple of specific items from the game's combat-free introductory area.
The trouble with this approach is that if you use it to the extent that's necessary to keep your QA responsibilities at a manageable level for a small team or solo developer, you functionally end up with a linear, level-based platformer that makes you walk from one level to the next. Whether this disqualifies a given title from the "metroidvania" label is a demarcation problem I'm not interested in litigating, but folks who expected a more open world experience are quite understandably going to be disappointed.
The approach I'd prefer more indie metroidvanias take is to keep things under control by limiting their scope. Not ever damn thing needs to be the next Hollow Knight; many classics of the genre can be completed in well under an hour with good routing even without employing modern speedrun tech. Similarly, some of the best indie metroidvanias are those with the smallest maps; Alruna and the Necro-Industrialists, probably the best example of open-world map design of any metroidvania published in 2024, has a map that's scarcely twenty by twenty screens, and its routing is downright fiendish.
(One of my perennial probably-never-gonna-happen projects is to design a full-featured metroidvania targeting a two to three hour casual playthrough whose entire map can fit on a single screen while remaining at a vaguely playable zoom level, in the style of titles like 1 Screen Platformer.)
584 notes
·
View notes
Text
Little Thief (Part 2)
Part 1, Part 3, Part 4
Summary: Red Hood has a new informant, and nobody likes it. Two of the bats meet them. It’s not what they expected.
Trigger Warning for starvation and animal/child abuse. Read at your own risk.
Also, there is angst, but I promise it will get better soon 💚
I'm Dyslexic, and don't have a beta, so spelling mistakes are likely to happen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Red Hood had a new informant. One he would not name. And nobody liked it. This mystery individual had given him the location of Cobblepot’s new scheme a month ago, a warning about a big bank robbery two weeks later, and a tip to look into what the Black Mask was doing five days ago. It was good information, but Batman (being paranoid as he was) didn’t trust it, and neither did anyone else. It was likely a trap, but Jason protected his informant with such passion that nobody could get anything out of him. At least, not until today.
Jason was out of commission for a week, and Gotham was in deep trouble. The Joker had broken out of Arkham and despite thoroughly examining every inch of every abandoned or rundown theme park, amusement center, and playground in Gotham, they hadn’t found a trace. It took a mix of bribery, black mail, threat of bodily harm and a significant amount of painkillers for Jason to agree to give them instructions on how to get the information they wanted. Which is how they ended up on a random rooftop with a bag of fast food.
~~~
Two figures made an unwelcome arrival at your designated meeting place. Instead of a single pair of feet softly falling on to the roof, and the air being filled with the familiar scent of sweat, gunpowder, and campfire cologne mixing with deep fried chicken, the wind sent a wave of overpowering floral detergent, mint shampoo, and citrus no-tear soap to assault your senses. The sounds of two individuals landing harshly on the roof stabbed at your sensitive ears, and even though the moonlight glowing from behind them obscured their appearances, you could price together who had intruded upon your night.
They both scanned the roof from their vantage point, and you crouched closer to the ground and leaned against the brick box that functioned as an access point to the roof, hoping the shadows would hide you long enough to make an escape plan.
After seeming to confirm there was no human in sight, the taller of the two figures turned to examine the surrounding buildings, and the smaller crossed his arm over his chest and huffed.
“I don’t trust this,” the smaller one petulantly mumbled, quite enough you weren’t sure the man behind him could have heard, “Everything about this is suspicious, the secrecy, the location, the set up… who trades information for a burger of all things.”
“I heard you the first seven times Robin,” the taller of the two answered, dropping a familiar looking paper bag on the ground before arching into a handstand, “but this is the best — and currently the only — shot we got.” The words hung in the air for a moment before he added, “and it’s not a burger, Jay was very particular about that”
The boy huffed in frustration and looked ready to lose his temper, but with the cargo confirmed as food, your plans of a quick quiet escape were all but abandoned. Even with the smaller one — Robin — facing away momentarily to glare at his upside down companion, the temptation of food was just too strong. You hadn’t seen Red Hood in three days, nor had you eaten in just as many, and your stomach ached with need. Under better circumstances you could have dove between the two and stolen away with the food, but the past several days had been brutal, and every movement hurt. You opted to stay where you were, in hopes a better opening may present itself.
The taller of the two righted himself to his feet, and looked around at the surrounding building again, before lifting one hand to his ear, “you sure we got the right place? I don’t see anyone… no I checked, I’m sure. What do you want us to do, just wait around? For what?! Yes… Yes! I understand that, but is this really — no, I promise. And who’s fault is that?…” he spoke heredity and harshly, and with all the standard Gotham street noise closer than it could be, it took you a moment to register the mumbling of another voice. You scooted closer in hopes of hearing the other side of the conversation, but due to a mix of pain and exhaustion, you stumbled, disturbing some of the debris around you, and while the taller of the two remained seemingly oblivious to your presence, Robin’s piercing eyes locked on you your location, still obscured in the shadows.
He grabbed hold of the sword on his back, and confidently stepped forward. You hesitated for a moment, before carefully extracting yourself from the dark, staying close to the ground in hopes of seeming as small as possible. Robin froze for a moment upon first impression, though his face was unreadable. He slowly sheathed his sword, and in turn you rose from the ground to stand. He took a soft step forwards, and you did not back away. He took another slow step towards you, lowering himself slightly, trying to appear less frightening, and in turn you made a small shuffle forward. By this point Nightwing had fallen silent, watching your careful dance with his companion. A delicate back and forth until you were three feet apart.
“What are you doing here thalabun?” he asked softly, more rhetorical than anything. You weren't sure how to answer the boy, how to explain your relationship with crime ally's guardian, so you stayed there, looking at him, examining is spiky hair and soft skin, familiarizing yourself with the citrusy smell that wafted off him, listening to his faint, controlled, rithmic breaths.
“Give me the bag,” his voice was sharp and stern again, head aimed at his elder.
“No way,” came a swift response, “we need it for the informant, remember?”
“I'll only take a little, look at it!” Robin exclaimed gesturing to you, “plus we've been here for almost twenty minutes. I don’t think they’re coming.”
Nightwing seemed to mull it over, carefully examining you, before picking up the bag and launching it at a waiting Robin. Robin unwrapped the chicken sandwich, and pulled off a piece of the patty, tossing it at your feet, where you quickly lapped it up. Nightwing wandered over to where his partner was sitting on the ground and dropped beside him.
“Ok Robin. What's next? The informant is a no-show, and we still need to find the joker. Where else could he be?” they both sat in silence considering the question, pondering what — or rather where — they missed. A small, strangled ‘yip’ echoed into the damp cold of the night, and both vigilanties snapped their attention back to the fox. It yipped again, tail wagging, as if to say ask me.
“You wouldn't happen to know where the joker is, would you?” Nightwing asked, almost sarcastically. He got a yip in response, and a head bob that resembled a nod. That made him pause…
“You do?” he repeated, beginning to doubt his vision and sanity. But as if to assure him of both, the creature repeated the gesture. “Could you show us?”
That… was a bit more difficult. Your body hurt and you were tired, three days of no food, little sleep, and constant harassment from kids, store owners, and wild animals alike had taken a toll. But you wanted to help. To be useful. At least to pay back the kind souls for feeding you, but also because doing good felt nice. And very little seemed to feel nice these days. So you summoned what strength you had, and launched yourself at them, leaping between, and landing on the hard floor with surprising grace. You pushed all your energy, all your hope, and strength, and thankfulness, into your legs so that they would go, go, GO!
You made it just short of the edge of the roof before your legs gave out and you were consumed. By darkens. By pain. Your back hurt, burning with every cut and bruise you had ever received. Your legs stung and ached. Your stomach clawed at your flesh begging to be filled or released from its prison. You were surrounded by darkness. Deep and unending, it was cold and quiet, yet all too loud, swallowing you, leaving you with nothing but pain. Everything hurt. So, so much. And you were alone, with no one to treat your wounds or hug your suffering heart. There was no warmth to reach for, no soft blankets or squishy stuffed animals. Just you, alone, cold, and in pain.
Two small, steady hands buried themselves beneath you, before carefully leaning you against something soft and sturdy. A kind hand shifted to run from the top of your head to the base of your tail, before repeating the motion. It was soothing, inside and out. Slowly the pain alleviated, and your breathing evened out. The dizzy feeling lifted, and you summoned all of your will power to crack open your eyes just a bit. You were met with the soft concern of Robin, worry visible even though the mask he wore. Robin’s steady breathing softly lifted you ever so slightly, and you focused to match his breathing: in and out, in and out. He smelled clean and strongly of oranges. It reminded you of the girls home you had lived in for six months before it was shut down for feeding the kids expired food. It was not a good place, but it was kinder than many others. You had missed the smell.
“How about I carry you and you point to where we need to go?” he recommended softly, still running his hand down your spine. You basked in his warmth and soft touch for a moment longer, trying to regain your strength, before shifting in his hold and pointing at Gotham’s skyline.
“That way?” You briefly nodded in confirmation, and both boys launched themselves off the roof and into the night air.
You had never seen Gotham from this perspective. Sure you climbed up fire escapes, and sat atop many buildings, but it was nothing like this. Nothing like soaring through the air, skyscrapers flying by. The way the wind licked freely at your hair reminded you for a moment of a trip you had taken with your mother long ago. She was driving on an empty dirt road, heading to the beach. The air was sunny and warm, the breeze swayed the trees in a methodical way, and your mother had let you stick your whole upper torso out the window. Distant street noises brought you back to reality, and looking down you saw the cars and people, they reminded you of Mr. Knox’s toy train display, the one that nobody but him was ever allowed to touch. They all looked so small from here.
Eventually you all landed outside a junkyard with a broken front gate. You led them inside, between piles of broken cars and rubbish, around the sharp metal and spilled oil, all the way to a faded, rusty, ice cream truck. Its hood was dented, the paint was chipped, and it was missing its two back tires, but a distinctive, infuriating, familiar laugh radiated from the inside.
The two vigilantes exchanged a look, before Nightwing turned to you and held out a crinkled paper bag.
“I guess you were Hood's little informant,” he breathed out. You gladly accepted the payment, and retraced your steps out of the junkyard and into the concrete jungle of Gotham.
Once you were long out of view, and hidden in a grimy abandoned back alley, you softly plopped the bag on the ground. Your food was in a bag and wrapped in foil, you’d need thumbs to get it out. You didn’t like being in human form, not right now. You were skinny in both forms, but without the fur coat being a fox provided, the wind and cold seemed to sink right into your bones. It didn’t help that your small amount of clothing had definitely seen better days. But food is more important than momentary discomfort, so you shift, trading your tail and matted fur for arms and skin.
You unwrap your chicken sandwich and sink in your teeth. The bread gives way softly, and a delicious crunch sounds as the lettuce brakes away into your mouth. The tomato bleeds its sweet juices onto your tongue, and as your mouth finally closes around the first bite of food you’ve had in days, you realize that by some miracle, despite the hour weight and cold conditions, the center of your crispy, chewy chicken patty was still warm. You barely finish chewing the first mouthful before taking a second, desperate for food and warmth.
You wonder if Red Hood is ok.
Thank you all so much for reading! Let me know what you think 💚
Notes:
Nightwing and Robin intentionally landed loader than they normally would in hopes of alerting the informant they had arrived, since they were expecting a human.
Jason, on the other hand, always tries to be especially quiet when coming to meet you because he knows your ears are sensitive.
'thalabun' is fox in Arabic according to google translate. if this wrong please, please let me know, as I intend to use it with some consistency moving forward.
ALSO!! Illustration
tag list:
@4rachn3
Let me know if you want to be added 💚
#yandere batfam#platonic batfam#platonic yandere#yandere damian wayne#yandere damian#yandere jason todd#batfam x reader#yandere batfam x reader#batfamily#yandere batboys#yandere batfamily#soft yandere#batfamily x reader
992 notes
·
View notes
Text
prompt: forced throuple au; Ghost decides that you and Johnny are his (part 1; ghoap x reader) masterlist
-
Johnny’s been bragging about a pretty bird lately.
Ghost listens because the periods between missions are long and colourless—he fills the time with paperwork, PT, exhausting his muscles in the gym, and dissociating in a booth at the only good pub on base when Johnny drags him along—and it’s better to tune out the thoughts in his head and replace them with something else. Besides, for as much as he gripes about poorly trained dogs barking too much, he enjoys the sound of Johnny’s voice. It quiets the faint ringing that follows him wherever he goes, an agitated humming that leaves him, on his best days, on the brink of rage.
“Tinnitus,” a doctor says when he brings it up during a routine check-up. Can you shut that fucking noise up?
“Best we can do is get you hearing aids.” Apologetic, sincere even. Stained, as always though, by a trembling, noxious unease. It emanates off the doctor in waves.
Hard not to feel uneasy around a man in a mask, Ghost assumes. That’s all part of it though. He doesn’t cultivate comfort, doesn’t attempt to engender soft feelings or put the mind at ease. His body and persona are designed to put the body and mind on the knife’s edge of fear, and then tip it over. He leaves the sweet talking and charming to men like Johnny, who babbles red language in a tongue like larkspur.
Ghost’s first language is oil slick. It stains and it covers and it darkens everything it touches.
And now, Johnny’s talking about a bird.
A couple months after Las Almas, the first picture comes out. Not a folded up keepsake tucked away in the pocket of a bag or a wallet or the inside of his jacket, but right on Johnny’s lockscreen on his phone. He disapproves at first glance. Not of the girl, but at the thought of keeping something so valuable on display for anyone to see. It’s not how he functions. Everything sacred is burned, destroyed, or—if precious enough—buried so deep underground that salt miners might greet it on the way down.
“Pretty, eh?” Johnny goads, nudging Ghost with his shoulder. He’s all wide grin, eyes electric-blue like the flames of Kawah Ijen.
She is pretty. Pretty as pie. Not a speck of grit or blood on her; if there’s any edge to her at all, it’s tempered by her smile in the photo on Johnny’s phone. A sugar sweet cunt, by the looks of it, sure it’d taste like candy if he got his mouth on it. He angles his eyes with Johnny’s lips and wonders how many times he’s eaten her out, if hers was the last cunt he ate. Likely. His boy’s the loyal kind, hard to shake off once he’s got his teeth in. Swapping spit or blood, he doesn’t leave once he’s got a taste.
“Where’d you find her?” he asks instead of agreeing, and takes a swig from the bottle in front of him. The bar’s hardly filled out yet; the two of them come early because Ghost’s an old man—that’s what Johnny would say—and doesn’t like to be around people once the sun’s set. It’s a burnished gold now, sun hovering low in the sky when Ghost turns an eye to it.
“Florist. Met her when I picked up flowers for mam’s birthday.”
Nearly a month then. “And I’m just hearin’ about this now?”
Not in this same pub three times a week since then. Not on the tarmac, suited up and sweating already beneath two layers of gear. Not in the shower beside Ghost’s, fingers reaching over the side for a bar of soap because Johnny can’t be arsed to get his own. Not with his head slumped to let Ghost shave the sides of his head nice and neat, thick fingers splayed over the delicate bone of his skull that Ghost knows would take nothing to break.
It rankles him until he looks back down at the phone in his hands—the one he’d plucked from Johnny’s fingers even while he whined about Ghost always stealing his shit—and feels his heartbeat slow. It levels out like staring into the scope of a rifle, the molecules of his breath melding with the molecules of the air until even the sound of his heartbeat dulls to the insects around him.
Johnny purses his lips. “…Wasn’t sure then. Am now.”
“Cunt’s a cunt. What’s there to be sure about?”
“No.” Johnny shakes his head vehemently. “She’s no’ like that. She’s special—I’m telling ye, Lt—” he stresses when Ghost snorts, the sound thick with scepticism, “—she’s a good egg. Smart one. Sweet as pie.”
Sweet as pie. Mutt half-shares his thoughts these days. They must have brought more home than just shellshock and keloids.
Johnny squawks when Ghost unlocks his phone and thumbs through his photos, trying to wrench it out of Ghost’s hand to no avail. He’s easy to hold back. All he has to do is put down his beer for a second and get a handful of hair and jerk, and there it is. Peace and quiet. A wince bleeding into his peripheral vision while Johnny mumbles something under his breath about him being a mean bastard.
He snorts again. Even from Johnny, he’s heard worse.
There isn’t much left of him these days. A tired husk and a taste for Guinness. He bleeds and shaves and wipes it off, smells the viscera still staining his mask that he hardly ever washes, can’t bear to honestly. Waste of fucking time, as far as he’s concerned. Just going to get dirtied again, soaked in blood again within the week. Shaves his head too just to have less to deal with, less to distract him from the single-minded intensity he brings to the job. He’d dematerialize if he could, become a ghost in name and shape, if only the laws of physics allowed.
Instead he’s saddled with a body that echoes back his age in creaking joints and low back pain. Scar tissue that aches when it gets cold.
In the months he’s known Johnny, he’s never let himself think about the world outside their bubble. His rank demands a certain level of socialising, and while he doesn’t schmooze with the brass like other lieutenants might, Ghost hardly has the privilege of isolating himself all the time, but still he can count the people he considers close on one hand.
Not family, but close. The thought of family is sheathed within him; he knows to leave the knife in lest he bleed. Still, Johnny’s fought his way onto the list and now he has to pay with his pound of flesh.
There’s a switch that’s been off for years, closer to a couple decades, and it flips back on when he finds this man that trusts him without question, that follows his orders and looks up at him with these big, puppy blue eyes. It twists something in his chest. It turns him into a thing that says maybe it’s better to take than just covet.
There are other photos of the girl in Johnny’s phone, some likely not meant for present company (Johnny flushes red when Ghost flips to a picture of his bird in a pretty little number, lace cupping her tits and ass, sitting on Johnny’s bed back home and looking back at him over her shoulder with a little grin). Still, it interests him to see this side of his boy; he’s maybe thought of it before in abstract terms. He knows that Johnny’s no stranger to a wandering eye, not with the way he’s built and his pretty boy face. He’s well acquainted with Johnny’s dick, hard not to be in such close quarters; it’s a nice, pretty thing, just like him, a good handful. Nothing like the ruddy battering ram in between Ghost’s legs. The one Johnny once got a glimpse of in the showers after a two week long stint in Kyrgyzstan and paled, mouth gaping open while he stared until he could finally laugh it off.
Ghost remembers thinking detachedly about how lovely that little gaped open mouth would feel around his cock.
Surprising that it took this long for him to cotton on to his own desires.
“Bring ‘er around then. I’ll see for myself how sweet she is.”
Johnny scowls at the sudden uproar from a nearby table. “No’ a chance in hell. Dinnae trust any of these fuckers to behave around her.”
Ghost hums. He’s not wrong to be wary; under the table, Ghost runs a hand over his bulge and gives it a squeeze, lifting his thigh to readjust. She has a lovely mouth too.
He’s been breathing fire and brimstone recently. Hungering to hear something break. It takes Johnny’s hand on his arm to hold him back, every cigarette puffed down to the filter. The pictures on Johnny’s phone make it seem easy though.
Johnny’s been bragging about a pretty bird lately, preening at every opportunity to show her off. He doesn’t know that it takes approximately eight seconds for Ghost’s brain to file the girl in Johnny’s phone under mine, slotting her right under Johnny in that category and isn’t that just perfect because it also takes approximately eight seconds for Ghost to imagine what she might look like under Johnny.
He hands Johnny back the phone, face down. “You get one week. Then I wanna meet your bird.”
#ceil writing#cod mw2#cod x reader#ghost/soap/reader#ghoap x reader#soap x reader#ghost x reader#ghost/reader#ghoap x you
5K notes
·
View notes
Note
I love your Freelance Inventor Au so much! (And, like, all your other work,, lol) I can't help imagining Danny finding out about the Batfam and turning to Bruce like, "You let our kids be vigilantes?!" Meanwhile Bruce is stuck on the fact that Danny called them "Our" kids. Or the reveal the other way, with Bruce finding out about Phantom first? He'd freak out- clearly he doesn't know Danny as well as he thought he did. And he can't believe Danny never told him! Meanwhile, Danny thought he mentioned the Phantom thing ages ago and that Bruce just doesn't care.
Since Jazz put the idea in his head, Danny has been unable to think of anything else. The idea that he might be in love with Bruce Wayne and had been for so many years but didn't notice because he assumed everyone felt that it was for that one friend.
It was there whenever he was drafting new blueprints, when he traveled across the world looking for inspiration and investors, when he settled into bed for a good night's rest, and most of all, when he finished his weekly phone call with Bruce.
"Get some rest," Bruce's warm, smooth voice says over the speakers. "I'll talk to you soon. Goodnight, Danny."
"Goodnight," he responds softly. He has a request to stay on the line on the tip of his tongue, but with the time difference, he knows it's not a good idea. And have a good day, Bruce."
The call ended with a click, but he couldn't help but feel their goodbye needed something.
I love you.
That was it. That's what was missing. But did he dare? Could he? Was he confusing love for something it wasn't? Was Bruce even interested?
Danny places his phone on his chest, staring at the ceiling of the latest hotel he booked, wondering if Bruce is leaving for lunch with the kids. He said they were celebrating Tim's new clothesline and wished he was there to cheer the boy and his team on.
Danny is in Toykyo today, presenting his new hologram keyboards to a big company.
Of course, they were the second company allowed the selling rights. Wayne Tech was the first, and Danny kept the production and creation rights. It was one of Danny's most ingenious inventions, if he did say so himself, but the look on Bruce's face when he revealed it to him was far more exhilarating than creating the keyboard or gaining the fat paycheck.
Fenton's Ghost Touch was a set of two rings with a hologram keyboard inside. When someone needed to type, they would spin the rings and double-tab the inner lining, connecting to devices using the Bluetooth function.
A visible hologram would pop up underneath their fingers, or if they wanted (and were good enough typers), they could move their fingers in the air without it, which would still allow them to type.
Danny had chosen to release the line in black internationally with Toyko, but Wayne Tech would release an exclusive color line. The rings were of the same design, all using slick silver bands but with different colors as the activation inner rings and some elegant carvings, unlike the international releases, which were just one solid color.
Fenton's Ghost Touch would come in seven colors: blue, red, pink, green, purple, white, and yellow.
Danny had purposely designed them using each of the Wayne kids' favorite colors and sent them all a set with their corresponding colors. The morning they arrived, he got a picture of them showing off their new rings, smiling widely at the camera from Bruce.
He saved the photo as his laptop background. His phone background already had a picture of him and the Waynes at Thanksgiving. They had crowed around, holding their wreaths with Bruce and Danny in the center.
Danny had been facing the camera, beaming in pride at the kids' work. Bruce was half-turning, his gaze stuck on Danny's face with a strange, fond, soft smile, the kind he rarely saw Bruce give anyone else.
It made him hope. Oh, how he hoped, but it also scared him. What if this wasn't love? Danny has never been in love before, has never fallen to the urges that others describe, and had been so comfortable convincing his asexuality meant he would never have to be the kind of person staying up long into the night overthinking every interaction with another person.
Yet here he was, seeing Bruce in a whole new light and discovering how different everything was because of it. But at the same time, how nothing had changed. He spoke to Dani about this, but his clone-turned-sister had only shrugged.
"You raised kids with the man." She laughed. Dani wasn't like Danny, and although she was more informed than their parents, she had difficulty wrapping her head around not having those feelings. "I think it's past the point of having a crush on him. I think you should go for it. Make it official."
Danny reaches up, rubbing at his eyes. It was midnight, and he had a meeting with another with the Japanese board again at eight. He really needed to rest and be on top of his wits so that he and his lawyer could ensure the contact was in his best interest.
He clicks open his gallery on his phone instead of swiping through photos of Bruce and feeling his heart leap nearly out of his chest. He misses the man.
Since Jazz's conversation, Danny has been practically avoiding him. This is due to his being hyper-aware of himself and Bruce: the way Bruce laughed, the dip in his voice whenever the British accent he picked up from Alfred popped in, the slight facial expressions he made when confused about emotions, the shift from playful to professional in work settings, and most of all, the attention he always bestowed onto Danny.
How the world just seemed brighter whenever he was with the man.
Bruce was his sun, and Danny was nothing more than a flower seeking him out. It made the Halfa want to hide in a hole but dance around in public all at once, and he didn't know why.
He finds a video, tapping the play button before thinking further of it, and melts when the first sound he hears is Bruce's laughter. It's quickly followed by the loud noise of the Waynes' Children. It was taken at the last Wayne game night—at the time, Danny had been in England with Dani.
Tim recorded Damian standing proudly over a map covered in white trains, arms spread into a T position, and Duke screaming accusations of cheating. After Alfred banned Monopoly in the Manor, the game Ticket to Ride quickly took over as the new worst enemy creator.
Dick was in the background sobbing into his hands as Jason tried to confront him. Steph and Cass were each leaning on Bruce's two shoulders, laughing as hard as their father, and Alfred was out of frame but not out of hearing, so when he stated, "Master Dick, how could have gone in the wrong direction? It's the map of the USA, it hasn't change in years!"
"He has a concussion, Alfrie!" Jason protested hotly. "Leave him alone!"
"YOU CHEATED!" Duke raged as Damian continued his pose with the most serious expression he'd seen on the child. It made his heart swell to see Damian copying him.
Danny struck the same pose whenever he beat his sisters at a game, even at his advanced age. Once an annoying brother, always an annoying brother.
The video ends with Tim flipping the camera. His broad grin covered the whole screen as he shouted, "Love you, Dad! Miss you! Can't wait to see you!"
Danny turns to his side, feeling his heart flutter more as the word plays repeatedly in his head. A few years ago, the Wayne Kids—excluding Damian, who was polite to the point it hurt—switched from Danny to Dad when referring to him.
Bruce hadn't made a big deal about it even though they called him Dad. Would that mean the man was happy his kids saw him as a second father figure? Did it mean the man thought of him as....a husband?
Danny groans, burying his face into the cool sheets of his futon, begging his mind to stop for a few seconds so he can rest. After this deal goes through, Danny is going to face the music.
He would go to Gotham and figure out a way to tell Bruce how he felt. He just hopes he has it figured out by then. Danny has an idea, but explaining the mess in his head into words is going to be much harder than anything he's ever done.
Not to mention Phantom. That was a can of worms he hadn't ever touched in Wayne's presence. What was Bruce's stance on ghosts anyway?
Should he practice what he would say about the topic? Turning onto his back, Danny holds up his phone, clicking the screen so the lock screen image of a grinning Bruce appears.
It was from the surprise vacation Danny rented out the hut next to the ones the kids sent Bruce to. It had been taken at sunset, the soft orange and purples of the sky framing Bruce's grin and dancing on his wind-blown hair. It had been a spur-of-the-moment walk around the beach, but from Danny's perspective down below and Bruce climbing back up to his hunt, it had almost appeared like Bruce was descending from the heavens.
Danny had used every film skill he had ever heard Dani speak about to capture the beautiful sight.
It is the best picture he's ever taken.
"I love you," the words leave his mouth in surprise, even though he had meant to talk about ghosts. But when they are spoken, he ducks into ice water and realizes they are true.
He sits up, using both hands to hold the phone in front of him, hoping that somehow, in some unrealistic dream, the words will carry across the world, and Bruce will hear them. Maybe even feel them, too. "I love you, I think I do. Do you love me too?"
The screen goes dark, and Danny sighs. Ten years. Will he really risk ten years of friendship over these little feelings?
Yeah. He thinks he will.
#dcxdpdabbles#dcxdp crossover#Freelance Inventor#Part 8#Danny comes to terms with his feelings#Fluff#Pinning#spirit halloween ship#The slow burn is picking up heat#Have some family moments
868 notes
·
View notes
Text
stitched together - pedro pascal.
requested! thank you. ♡ content: Pedro Pascal x costume designer!reader, meet-cute on the set of The Last of Us, lots of sweet fluff, instant connection, mutual flustering, playful banter, very soft energy.
---
It’s not like you were looking to fall for someone. You were just here to do your job — costume design. Threads, fabrics, fitting actors, stress sewing in trailers at 2 a.m. The usual.
What you were not prepared for was Pedro freaking Pascal waltzing into the fitting room like a human golden retriever with brown eyes that deserved a warning label.
"Hey, uh... am I in the right place?" His voice was all gravel and honey as he peeked around the curtain, knocking gently on the doorframe.
You turned, balancing a rack of jackets, hands full of hangers. “If you’re looking for wardrobe, then yeah.”
His smile was immediate. Warm. Easy. “Then lucky me.”
You bit back a smile, pretending to busy yourself with the name tags. “Joel’s jacket fitting, right?”
“Guilty.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, rocking back on his heels. “I was told by about five different people to ‘go find Y/N.’ You’re apparently the boss of threads around here.”
You snorted. “Boss of threads. That’s going on my LinkedIn.”
He laughed, eyes crinkling. “I’ll write you a recommendation.”
You glanced at him — tousled curls, glasses slipping down his nose, soft scruff, dressed in casual Pedro clothes that did absolutely nothing to prepare you for how real-life charming he was.
“Alright, superstar. Arms up.”
He obeyed instantly, raising both hands with a grin. “Yes, ma’am.”
The second you stepped close to drape the jacket over him, the air shifted. Not in a dramatic, movie-scene way — more like that quiet, cozy realization that someone just fits.
“Turn,” you mumbled, tugging the fabric over his shoulders.
“Like this?” he asked, voice low, spinning slowly so you could check the fit.
You nodded, focusing very hard on the seams. “Yeah. Good. Very Joel. Broody but functional.”
Pedro chuckled, watching you from the corner of his eye. “You just called me broody.”
“Not you,” you corrected, tapping his arm. “Joel.”
“Mhmm. Sure.” He grinned, glancing down at you. “You always this sassy with your clients, or am I just special?”
You blinked, caught. “Depends. You always this charming, or am I just special?”
Pedro stared for a beat. And then — like someone hit play on a mutual understanding — you both burst into laughter at the same time.
“Oh,” he chuckled, running a hand through his curls. “You’re trouble.”
You stepped back, pretending to jot something on the fitting sheet just so you wouldn’t have to look at how his smile made your stomach flip. “Fit’s perfect. You’re good to go.”
But he didn’t move.
Neither did you.
There was this… hum. This little string tying you both there like the universe forgot to call cut.
“So…” Pedro scratched the back of his neck, suddenly looking boyish. “Um. Is it — weird — if I ask if you maybe… wanna grab coffee? Not like, Hollywood coffee. Like actual coffee. Not fake set coffee either. Real coffee. With me.”
Your heart stuttered. “Are you asking me out, Pascal?”
He grinned. “I mean… yeah. Unless you’re gonna tell me that’s against costume department rules and throw me out.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “It’s not against the rules. But if the jacket rips because you get too excited running from clickers, you are sewing it back yourself.”
Pedro pressed a hand to his chest, mock serious. “Deal. I’m excellent with a needle. Terrible with buttons, though. Might need lessons.”
“Guess you’re in luck.” You handed him the jacket, fingers brushing his. “I give private lessons.”
His mouth twitched. “Oh, do you now…”
And yeah. That was the beginning.
---
✦ please do not copy, repost, or translate this work. © lazysoulwriter // i write with a lot of love and care, so please respect that.
---
taglist: @sarahhxx03 @lloydmustache @lolareadsimagines @greenwitchfromthewoods @silksepia @pascalswiftie @itstokyo-cos @mani-pedro @llsister @authorbriannarae13 @introvrtedjellyfish @aj0elap0l0gist @spencercmlover @cixrosie @cherrqbaby @cup-half-full-of-anxiety @kellyxo1 @freakbobcult @sunlightpleasure @barnes70stark @mooniscrying @ohnaurshayla @croissantbakerylws @nellispunk @kasienka @taylorswiftsrep-blog @emerencedaily @byzyz ♡
---
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal imagines#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal fanfics#pedro pascal fics#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal blurb#pedro pascal blurbs#pp#x reader#fanfic#imagines#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal cute#ficreq#pedro pascal fandom
374 notes
·
View notes
Text
I wanted to finally design my iterator oc who's been in concept hells but I wasn't satisfied.
So here's just what sorta technology he is
Intrinsers were not as popular where Moon or Pebbles stand. There, energy was pushed more to get the final answer, and repair microbes seemed good enough to keep other machines long-lasting.
While the iterators most ancients grew up with had friendly faces, other living structures that were given sapience (or close to it) didn't need to become as presentable, resulting in a large variety of shapes.
Intrinsers have many of the same functions an abomination iterator has as they were being invented at the same time with more already being built before the first puppeted iterators emerged. They are much more often lower-function than their younger siblings with some barely qualifying for sapience.
Their main roles were more complicated and mobile mining and manufacturing tasks with some being the only source of a popular product in an ancient city. Someone has to make that pebbsi. Very few got to ever see an acient city tho.
#art#digital art#artwork#worldbuilding#fanart#rainworld art#rain world downpour#rain world#rw iterator#rain world iterator#rain moment....#rw art#speculative fiction
712 notes
·
View notes
Text
autocrattic (more matt shenanigans, not tumblr this time)
I am almost definitely not the right person for this writeup, but I'm closer than most people on here, so here goes! This is all open-source tech drama, and I take my time laying out the context, but the short version is: Matt tried to extort another company, who immediately posted receipts, and now he's refusing to log off again. The long version is... long.
If you don't need software context, scroll down/find the "ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening" heading, or just go read the pink sections. Or look at this PDF.
the background
So. Matt's original Good Idea was starting WordPress with fellow developer Mike Little in 2003, which is free and open-source software (FOSS) that was originally just for blogging, but now powers lots of websites that do other things. In particular, Automattic acquired WooCommerce a long time ago, which is free online store software you can run on WordPress.
FOSS is... interesting. It's a world that ultimately is powered by people who believe deeply that information and resources should be free, but often have massive blind spots (for example, Wikipedia's consistently had issues with bias, since no amount of "anyone can edit" will overcome systemic bias in terms of who has time to edit or is not going to be driven away by the existing contributor culture). As with anything else that people spend thousands of hours doing online, there's drama. As with anything else that's technically free but can be monetized, there are:
Heaps of companies and solo developers who profit off WordPress themes, plugins, hosting, and other services;
Conflicts between volunteer contributors and for-profit contributors;
Annoying founders who get way too much credit for everything the project has become.
the WordPress ecosystem
A project as heavily used as WordPress (some double-digit percentage of the Internet uses WP. I refuse to believe it's the 43% that Matt claims it is, but it's a pretty large chunk) can't survive just on the spare hours of volunteers, especially in an increasingly monetised world where its users demand functional software, are less and less tech or FOSS literate, and its contributors have no fucking time to build things for that userbase.
Matt runs Automattic, which is a privately-traded, for-profit company. The free software is run by the WordPress Foundation, which is technically completely separate (wordpress.org). The main products Automattic offers are WordPress-related: WordPress.com, a host which was designed to be beginner-friendly; Jetpack, a suite of plugins which extend WordPress in a whole bunch of ways that may or may not make sense as one big product; WooCommerce, which I've already mentioned. There's also WordPress VIP, which is the fancy bespoke five-digit-plus option for enterprise customers. And there's Tumblr, if Matt ever succeeds in putting it on WordPress. (Every Tumblr or WordPress dev I know thinks that's fucking ridiculous and impossible. Automattic's hiring for it anyway.)
Automattic devotes a chunk of its employees toward developing Core, which is what people in the WordPress space call WordPress.org, the free software. This is part of an initiative called Five for the Future — 5% of your company's profits off WordPress should go back into making the project better. Many other companies don't do this.
There are lots of other companies in the space. GoDaddy, for example, barely gives back in any way (and also sucks). WP Engine is the company this drama is about. They don't really contribute to Core. They offer relatively expensive WordPress hosting, as well as providing a series of other WordPress-related products like LocalWP (local site development software), Advanced Custom Fields (the easiest way to set up advanced taxonomies and other fields when making new types of posts. If you don't know what this means don't worry about it), etc.
Anyway. Lots of strong personalities. Lots of for-profit companies. Lots of them getting invested in, or bought by, private equity firms.
Matt being Matt, tech being tech
As was said repeatedly when Matt was flipping out about Tumblr, all of the stuff happening at Automattic is pretty normal tech company behaviour. Shit gets worse. People get less for their money. WordPress.com used to be a really good place for people starting out with a website who didn't need "real" WordPress — for $48 a year on the Personal plan, you had really limited features (no plugins or other customisable extensions), but you had a simple website with good SEO that was pretty secure, relatively easy to use, and 24-hour access to Happiness Engineers (HEs for short. Bad job title. This was my job) who could walk you through everything no matter how bad at tech you were. Then Personal plan users got moved from chat to emails only. Emails started being responded to by contractors who didn't know as much as HEs did and certainly didn't get paid half as well. Then came AI, and the mandate for HEs to try to upsell everyone things they didn't necessarily need. (This is the point at which I quit.)
But as was said then as well, most tech CEOs don't publicly get into this kind of shitfight with their users. They're horrid tyrants, but they don't do it this publicly.
ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening
WordCamp US, one of the biggest WordPress industry events of the year, is the backdrop for all this. It just finished.
There are.... a lot of posts by Matt across multiple platforms because, as always, he can't log off. But here's the broad strokes.
Sep 17
Matt publishes a wanky blog post about companies that profit off open source without giving back. It targets a specific company, WP Engine.
Compare the Five For the Future pages from Automattic and WP Engine, two companies that are roughly the same size with revenue in the ballpark of half a billion. These pledges are just a proxy and aren’t perfectly accurate, but as I write this, Automattic has 3,786 hours per week (not even counting me!), and WP Engine has 47 hours. WP Engine has good people, some of whom are listed on that page, but the company is controlled by Silver Lake, a private equity firm with $102 billion in assets under management. Silver Lake doesn’t give a dang about your Open Source ideals. It just wants a return on capital. So it’s at this point that I ask everyone in the WordPress community to vote with your wallet. Who are you giving your money to? Someone who’s going to nourish the ecosystem, or someone who’s going to frack every bit of value out of it until it withers?
(It's worth noting here that Automattic is funded in part by BlackRock, who Wikipedia calls "the world's largest asset manager".)
Sep 20 (WCUS final day)
WP Engine puts out a blog post detailing their contributions to WordPress.
Matt devotes his keynote/closing speech to slamming WP Engine.
He also implies people inside WP Engine are sending him information.
For the people sending me stuff from inside companies, please do not do it on your work device. Use a personal phone, Signal with disappearing messages, etc. I have a bunch of journalists happy to connect you with as well. #wcus — Twitter I know private equity and investors can be brutal (read the book Barbarians at the Gate). Please let me know if any employee faces firing or retaliation for speaking up about their company's participation (or lack thereof) in WordPress. We'll make sure it's a big public deal and that you get support. — Tumblr
Matt also puts out an offer live at WordCamp US:
“If anyone of you gets in trouble for speaking up in favor of WordPress and/or open source, reach out to me. I’ll do my best to help you find a new job.” — source tweet, RTed by Matt
He also puts up a poll asking the community if WP Engine should be allowed back at WordCamps.
Sep 21
Matt writes a blog post on the WordPress.org blog (the official project blog!): WP Engine is not WordPress.
He opens this blog post by claiming his mom was confused and thought WP Engine was official.
The blog post goes on about how WP Engine disabled post revisions (which is a pretty normal thing to do when you need to free up some resources), therefore being not "real" WordPress. (As I said earlier, WordPress.com disables most features for Personal and Premium plans. Or whatever those plans are called, they've been renamed like 12 times in the last few years. But that's a different complaint.)
Sep 22: More bullshit on Twitter. Matt makes a Reddit post on r/Wordpress about WP Engine that promptly gets deleted. Writeups start to come out:
Search Engine Journal: WordPress Co-Founder Mullenweg Sparks Backlash
TechCrunch: Matt Mullenweg calls WP Engine a ‘cancer to WordPress’ and urges community to switch providers
Sep 23 onward
Okay, time zones mean I can't effectively sequence the rest of this.
Matt defends himself on Reddit, casually mentioning that WP Engine is now suing him.
Also here's a decent writeup from someone involved with the community that may be of interest.
WP Engine drops the full PDF of their cease and desist, which includes screenshots of Matt apparently threatening them via text.
Twitter link | Direct PDF link
This PDF includes some truly fucked texts where Matt appears to be trying to get WP Engine to pay him money unless they want him to tell his audience at WCUS that they're evil.
Matt, after saying he's been sued and can't talk about it, hosts a Twitter Space and talks about it for a couple hours.
He also continues to post on Reddit, Twitter, and on the Core contributor Slack.
Here's a comment where he says WP Engine could have avoided this by paying Automattic 8% of their revenue.
Another, 20 hours ago, where he says he's being downvoted by "trolls, probably WPE employees"
At some point, Matt updates the WordPress Foundation trademark policy. I am 90% sure this was him — it's not legalese and makes no fucking sense to single out WP Engine.
Old text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks and you are free to use it in any way you see fit. New text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks, but please don’t use it in a way that confuses people. For example, many people think WP Engine is “WordPress Engine” and officially associated with WordPress, which it’s not. They have never once even donated to the WordPress Foundation, despite making billions of revenue on top of WordPress.
Sep 25: Automattic puts up their own legal response.
anyway this fucking sucks
This is bigger than anything Matt's done before. I'm so worried about my friends who're still there. The internal ramifications have... been not great so far, including that Matt's naturally being extra gung-ho about "you're either for me or against me and if you're against me then don't bother working your two weeks".
Despite everything, I like WordPress. (If you dig into this, you'll see plenty of people commenting about blocks or Gutenberg or React other things they hate. Unlike many of the old FOSSheads, I actually also think Gutenberg/the block editor was a good idea, even if it was poorly implemented.)
I think that the original mission — to make it so anyone can spin up a website that's easy enough to use and blog with — is a good thing. I think, despite all the ways being part of FOSS communities since my early teens has led to all kinds of racist, homophobic and sexual harm for me and for many other people, that free and open-source software is important.
So many people were already burning out of the project. Matt has been doing this for so long that those with long memories can recite all the ways he's wrecked shit back a decade or more. Most of us are exhausted and need to make money to live. The world is worse than it ever was.
Social media sucks worse and worse, and this was a world in which people missed old webrings, old blogs, RSS readers, the world where you curated your own whimsical, unpaid corner of the Internet. I started actually actively using my own WordPress blog this year, and I've really enjoyed it.
And people don't want to deal with any of this.
The thing is, Matt's right about one thing: capital is ruining free open-source software. What he's wrong about is everything else: the idea that WordPress.com isn't enshittifying (or confusing) at a much higher rate than WP Engine, the idea that WP Engine or Silver Lake are the only big players in the field, the notion that he's part of the solution and not part of the problem.
But he's started a battle where there are no winners but the lawyers who get paid to duke it out, and all the volunteers who've survived this long in an ecosystem increasingly dominated by big money are giving up and leaving.
Anyway if you got this far, consider donating to someone on gazafunds.com. It'll take much less time than reading this did.
#tony muses#tumblr meta#again just bc that's my tag for all this#automattic#wordpress#this is probably really incoherent i apologise lmao#i may edit it
750 notes
·
View notes
Note
TexAid - Vortex has taken First Aid as his pilot. First Aid claims Vortex as his mech.
--------------------------
There's a rumbling in the distance as First Aid crawls out the darkened hatch of Vortex's escape chute. The hangar is a wreck of collapsed walls, twisted metal pipes, and broken wiring shooting up sparks.
First Aid pushes himself to his feet, stands back, and uses the flashes of light to take stock of the situation.
This is…not good.
He counts a dozen cuts and bruises across his own aching limbs before abandoning the effort. He is satisfied at least that he is intact, alive, and functional. All his injuries will heal, given treatment and time.
Time he may not have. Because Vortex on the other hand is not so lucky – lights off, systems silent, frame crumpled on the ground. A slow trickle of oil leaks from the mecha, swirling into one of the many pools of alien ooze scattered around Vortex's frame along with chunks of the aliens' flesh.
The battle had been fierce, Vortex's fighting the fiercest Aid had ever seen against the many enemies. But for the first time, it hadn't been enough. The mecha suddenly going dark – collapsing under the strain of overtaxed systems even as the last of the monster's fell. Leaving First Aid truly alone in that cockpit of horrors for the first time.
Another rumble sounds in the distance, shaking First Aid from his reflection.
He refocuses on the present, pushing himself to his feet and stumbling towards Vortex's head. He raps his knuckles against the glass of the visor, shouts at the mecha to wake up.
Nothing.
Vortex has gone dark.
This is not good. He is dead. They are dead, if Vortex cannot wake. Because those distant rumbles are definitely not friendly.
No human has survived fighting the aliens without a mech. And first Aid is a medic first. Vortex is the fighter – the killer – of their strange partnership. First Aid doesn't know what the aliens do to the mecha and pilots that go missing from the battlefield and are never recovered. And he doesn't intend to find out.
But he does know what the science team will do with Vortex – a billion dollar prototype gone wrong – out of control and now offline. They will take the mecha apart, dissect him, strip him down to his basest components to find out where it all went wrong. And when they're done, what's left will be scrap – pieces repurposed into other mecha repairs.
They might build a new prototype top-of-the-line killing machine 2.0. But is won't be Vortex.
First Aid hates that. Because he should hate Vortex, after all the other has put him through. But he doesn't. Because before all that, Vortex had saved him. Vortex chose him – kept First Aid alive and safe, even as he's shown countless times just how easily he could destroy Aid.
And Vortex is…was…could be alive – a mecha with a consciousness all his own in a way First Aid had not believed until he experienced it first-hand.
Out of ignorance, out of fear, out of hate, or simply because of the harsh realities of war – the others will kill Vortex (if he isn't already dead; please don't be dead) and never realize what they have done, because they never recognized that he was alive to begin with. Never saw him as anything more than a glitch, an aberration in their perfect war design.
First Aid has a duty to save lives. He cannot – will not – let that happen. Vortex is his. In death as much as in life.
The rumbling grows closer, close enough First Aid can imagine he hears the slithering of tentacles along walls underneath it.
He will not let any other – alien or human – take Vortex from him, not while he still lives.
The cables on the ground throw up another flurry of sparks – casting eerie shadows across Vortex's frame. First Aid's eyes fixate on the light, tracing the path of the wiring from where it snakes across the floor back up to the housing on the wall. A broken main charging cable for a mech.
Maybe…just maybe…
It's a terrible idea. So many things could go wrong – electrocution, a gruesome death, ending up a mindless shell on life support for the rest of his days (not so different from how Vortex already is now). Pharma or Ratchet or any other medic would tell him as much. They would tell him that there's almost no chance of powering on a mecha once it's gone fully dark, that it isn't worth risking himself too (and particularly not for this mecha).
For anyone else that might be true, but by now First Aid is used to a little risk. Risk of electrocution and death? Just another average day on the job. No different than what Vortex puts him through every time he straps into the pilot seat. The only thing that's different now is that Aid is choosing to take the risk.
Because there is a chance. And First Aid is going to take it.
The rubber insulation of the cable is already in his hand when he looks down, his body having carried him to it as his mid was busy shutting out the doubts every other medic would have said.
Something bangs against the collapsed wall blocking entry to the hangar, sending a shower of dust outward.
First Aid hefts the cable over his shoulder, careful to keep the sparking end far in front of him, and begins the trek across the warehouse. His shoulder burns from the extra weight on an already stressed joint and his legs protest as he forces them to twist and jump to avoid the pools of fluid that would cause instant electrocution if they came into contact with his body and the cable.
The aches don't matter. He is a medic. He can carry his own weight and still have the strength to lift up others. He can do this. He will do this.
First Aid is gasping for breath by the time he reaches Vortex again. His sides ache, lungs burning with each breath. He mentally adds checking for the possibility of bruised ribs to his catalogue of injuries, then shoves the pain aside to focus fully on Vortex's frame.
First Aid eyes the power node at the back of the mecha's neck and before he can think twice, shoves the broken power cable into it. Sparks fly around the junction and Vortex's frame jolts, lights flickering briefly, then stills. First Aid pulls the cable away, then hits Vortex again. And again. And again. Lights flicker. Sparks fly. Dust showers around First Aid. Electricity jolts through Vortex's frame.
"Come on," First Aid mutters as Vortex's lights stay on a full second after he pulls the cable away before stuttering out again.
He takes a deep breath and throws the cable directly into the center of Vortex's chest, where the mecha's primary batter is housed. Sparks fly across Vortex's frame, lights flicker, flash bright white, then stabilize to a dim red glow.
First Aid's momentary relief shatters as Vortex moves and he feels a gust of air from a cold metal blade passing just over his head. There's a dull thunk, and then fluid is pouring down on First Aid, coating him in a thick sludge of blood from the alien that First Aid reckons was looming just behind him, judging by the bright green eyeball that falls from above to land in a spatter at his feet.
First Aid looks up at Vortex looming over him, gloving red light pouring out from the maw of the cockpit and laughs, shaking hysterically as a hand reaches down to scoop him up from the ground.
They are alive. He is Vortex's. Vortex is his. They are alive.
D-dont. Don't make me even more feral about them than I already am. Don't. I was GOING TO SLEEP BUT NOW MY BRAIN WON'T STOP WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME HOW AM I GONNA PRETEND TO BE NORMAL NOW WH

Previous Next
585 notes
·
View notes