#so long london fanfiction
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kamryn1963 · 3 months ago
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Notes: Oops…? I ended up getting distracted with doing Angstober this month, and completely fell behind on this. But I focused today and was finally able to get this written (only a month later, lmao)
I'm not sure when the next chapter will be written\posted, but rest assured this will be finished at some point!
Enjoy :)
It was an hour after Al woke up that Trudy and Hank came back in. Al had been extubated in that time and updated on his injuries. 
Both Hank and Trudy took a seat on either side of Al’s bed, as Al watched them. He was exhausted and really wanted to just sleep, but also wanted answers and to see his friends first. Al also knew they were probably worried and needed this as much as he did. 
Al’s eyes focused on Hank who was avoiding his gaze. Al reached a hand out, barely able to grab Hank’s. He was glad when Hank didn’t pull away, just held his hand back. 
“I’m sorry, Hank”. Al rasped his voice still hoarse from the intubation but he forced himself to speak. He needed to apologize, needed things to get back to normal with Hank. 
Al didn’t think he could survive losing Hank from his life. Losing his best friend over something this stupid. 
“No, no. Don’t you dare apologize, Alvin”. Hank replied as he shook his head. God Al had almost died today. Why the fuck was he apologizing? 
“I should’ve been more understanding. Your family was targeted, of course you were angry”. Al protested even as Hank shook his head again and glared at him. 
“Al, I’m sorry. Alright. I’m sorry”. Hank responded hoping he sounded sincere. Trudy was giving him an approving look and hadn’t said anything, so Hank assumed he probably was.
Al seemed to relax at that and finally accept it as his body relaxed into the bed. He didn’t even notice he was still holding Hank’s hand or that Hank had looked at his arm. Right where Hank knew the burns were. Hank was glad that at least for that moment, him and Al were okay again. That Al had forgiven him. 
Hank made a decision then. As the three of them sat in the hospital room, all just glad things seemed to be okay right now. 
Al had clearly relapsed. Hank and Trudy had known that before today but they didn’t have proof yet. Neither of them could get Al help without actually confirming he was in fact self harming again. 
“Lexi and Michelle are with Erin in the cafeteria. Do you want me to send them up?” Hank asked as he stood up. He knew where he needed to go right now, even if Al wouldn’t forgive him again after he found out. 
Hank could live with that if it meant Al was alive and getting help. Hank would take Al hating him over being dead, at any moment. 
“Please”. Al said back as he forced himself to sit up more. He knew he probably looked like hell right now, but he needed to see his daughters. 
Hank nodded, exchanging a look with Trudy before he left the room grabbing his phone to call Erin. 
He updated her, telling her Al’s room number before Hank took a deep breath and headed towards the elevator. 
Meanwhile, Erin, Lexi and Michelle had headed up to Al’s hospital room. Erin stepped out to talk to Trudy, while Michelle and Lexi headed to their dad’s side.
“Dad?” Lexi asked hesitantly as she came to her dad’s side. 
Al managed what he hoped was a comforting smile, as he grabbed his oldest daughter’s hand and held it, looking at her. 
“Hey, I’m sorry”. Al apologized as he turned to Michelle too, who hadn’t said anything yet and was just watching them. 
Lexi had seen him in the hospital before, countless times over the years especially when she was young. Michelle had never seen him like this and Al was going to do whatever he could to make sure both his girl’s were okay. 
“Come here, Michelle”. Al urged, embracing Michelle as she was close enough. 
“Are you alright, dad?” Michelle asked, her voice unusually quiet. 
Al didn’t even notice what she said at first as he nodded. It wasn’t until he saw the small smile Lexi gave Michelle, that he realized Michelle had called him dad, for the first time. Al smiled himself, hearing that from his daughter’s helping more than any medical treatment ever could. 
Erin and Trudy came back in then, Erin looking worried too as she looked him over before speaking. “Justin’s on his way over. I let him know what happened but he wanted to see you himself”. 
“He doesn’t have to. There’s no need to worry for him too”. Al protested but Erin just rolled her eyes. 
“I’m not asking you how you feel about it, I’m telling you what’s happening”. Erin responded and Al just nodded. Like Lexi, Justin had also seen him injured more than once. Al knew it also wasn’t anything new for him. 
“Alright”. Al agreed. 
Despite how things had been lately and all the shit that had happened, Al was so thankful he was still here. He knew it had been bad, that his injuries weren’t good but Al wanted to live. 
His eyes went to his arms, looking at them for a minute hoping nobody had noticed the burns there. Al could only hope that nobody had seen those burns and figured out they had not come from today.  
Al looked back up catching Trudy who had been watching him. She hadn’t said much since he woke up, but Al could see the worry in her eyes. 
When Lexi and Michelle got distracted and Erin went to wait for Justin, Trudy moved closer. 
“I’m okay, Dee”. Al reassured as he laid back down again. 
“I’m glad. You scared the hell out of me, Olinsky”. Trudy said sternly but Al saw the concern clear as day. 
“I’m sorry. It wasn't my intention”. Al joked, glad when she seemed to relax a bit. Trudy started talking, probably lecturing him, and Al tried to listen but he couldn’t help but notice that Hank had never come back. 
Al couldn’t help the irrational fear that Hank had left him. Again. 
Hank stopped outside the office of Doctor Daniel Charles. He knew the man was good, and hoped that he’d be able to help Alvin. 
Hank knocked, waiting until he got a response and Hank slowly opened the door, stepping inside the office. 
“Doctor Charles? Can we talk?”
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miley1442111 · 9 months ago
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fresh out the slammer- a.hotchner
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a/n: yes, i am a swifty- sorry lmao.
intended for fem reader!
summary: based off of fresh out the slammer by taylor swift
pairings: aaron hotchner x reader
warnings: sad ending, talk of falling out of love, aaron is still in love with Haley
the tortured poets department masterlist
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Now pretty baby, I'm running back home to you
Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to
Fresh out the slammer, oh
Aaron unlocked the door to your shared home, one thought on his mind. Haley. 
He missed her more than life itself. He missed being a family with Jack and her. He missed it all. 
You were his girlfriend, you should’ve been on his mind. You had been there for him during his recent recovery after the stabbings with Foyet, you were working at all hours to try and find Foyet, you were always there for him. He loved you, truly. 
But you weren't Haley. 
Another summer takin' cover, rolling thunder
He don't understand me
Splintered back in winter, silent dinners, bitter
He was with her in dreams
He lay beside you in your bed. You were already asleep, soft snores falling from your beautiful lips. A certain unease settled into Aaron’s body. He realised something slowly, and it led to a heavy sense of dread, shame, regret, and guilt. 
He didn’t love you. He was still in love with Haley. 
He thought of Haley everyday, every night. He wondered what she was doing, now that he didn’t know where she or Jack was.
Sleep evaded him that night. 
Gray and blue and fights and tunnels
Handcuffed to the spell I was under
For just one hour of sunshine
Years of labor, locks, and ceilings
In the shade of how he was feeling
But it's gonna be alright, I did my time
Weeks passed and Aaron became more and more distant. He cancelled dates, came home late, he was reckless at work. 
You felt hopeless. You knew something was wrong, but you couldn’t figure out what. You decided to confront him, staying up late enough to catch him. 
“Aaron, what’s going on?” You asked as he walked into your shared bedroom. He stared at you for a moment, then sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Nothing,” he lied.
“Aaron, I’m a profiler too. Tell me.”
He felt conflicted. He liked you, a lot. He’d been dating you for a year. He’d thought he was over Haley, he was wrong. “I’m not in love with you anymore, I’m not sure I ever was.”
Your heart broke, but you swallowed it back. “Ok,” you whispered and got up, grabbing your go-bag and walking out. Aaron didn’t chase you. He didn’t want to. 
You got into your car and let yourself break down. He never loved you. He was still in love with Haley. You were just a placeholder for her. 
You went to Penelope’s place, knowing she’d be there for you. She let you in immediately and comforted you to sleep.
Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you
Frеsh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to
(Frеsh out the slammer, oh)
Haley was dead. You felt devastated for Aaron and Jack, not enough to speak to him though. You attended the funeral, you stood beside the rest of the team, then went straight to Strauss. You handed in you badge and gun, leaving the BAU behind. You cut everyone off, blocking their numbers, moving house, taking up a job in the CIA instead. 
Aaron had officially lost you. In the weeks of your breakup, he’d realised how wrong he was, that he had loved you, that he was in love with you. 
Camera flashes, welcome bashes, get the matches
Toss the ashes off the ledge
As I said in my letters, now that I know better
I will never lose my baby again
He spent weeks trying to find you, finding nothing. You’d asked one of your new colleagues to essentially wipe your existence off the face of the earth. You changed your name, you changed. 
He’d made Penelope look for you for months, he went to your family as a last result. 
“You want to know where Y/n is?” Your father asked. “We thought you’d know.”
His heart stopped. You were missing. 
He got the team on it immediately, until Strauss called him in. 
“Aaron, Y/n Y/l/n is not missing. She’s been reassigned,” she explained.
“Why can’t we find her then! All of her accounts were drained and closed, her family don’t know where she is, and she left the BAU!” He demanded. 
“She was reassigned Aaron, that’s the end of it.”
He was helpless. You were gone. 
My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it
Watch me daily disappearing
For just one glimpse of his smile
All those nights, he kept me goin'
Swirled you into all of my poems
Now we're at the starting line, I did my time
He took a leave of absence from the BAU for a month, deciding to try and find you on his own. He looked through everything on you, tried to remember details you’d told him, but he came up with nothing. 
Until he saw you on a case. 
Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin'
To the house where you still wait up and that porch light gleams (Gleams)
To the one who says I'm the girl of his American dreams
And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway
Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake here
At the park where we used to sit on children's swings
Wearing imaginary rings
You were a CIA agent, you were happy the way you were. You’d found a husband in the 2 years since you’d left the BAU. He loved you and adored you like you were supposed to be adored. He was a childhood best friend, one you’d had a crush on as a child. Aaron walked into the CIA building and saw you with your hand in his. His world crumbled for the third time in his life. 
You had found someone else. You shot him and the entire team a small, knowing smile, and assisted them on their case.  
“We thought you’d died,” Derek admitted as you were all cleaning up the conference room they were using as an office. 
“Well technically Y/n died, I’m Y/n/n now. Y/n/n Scott,” You smiled, showing off your wedding ring and smiling at your husband, the other CIA agent that was helping with the investigation. Aaron’s stomach turned. At least you were happy. 
But it's gonna be alright, I did my time
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damnfeelings09 · 2 days ago
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So long, London - Shadow version
“I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist
I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift”
You were at home, the house you shared with Shadow. It was a beautiful and cozy place. If only you still enjoyed being there. At first, everything was fine; Shadow loved having you close, even though he didn't show it very enthusiastically, his small gestures of love towards you always made your heart melt. However, lately, he had been very distant. It had been weeks since he kissed you, and don’t even talk about intimacy. Shadow was always very busy with his work, going from mission to mission, trying to save the world, but that’s what heroes do, right? So why did you feel so… alone?
“Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.”
Every chance you got, you made sure that when Shadow came through the door, there was food ready, a comfortable and cozy place, a home that covered all the bad from the outside. But it was no longer enough. Every time you tried to start a conversation, Shadow refused, claiming he was too tired, had other things to do, and didn’t want to be disturbed. He locked himself in his office and you didn’t see him for days. You didn’t even share the same bed anymore. You tried to deceive yourself, of course, The Ultimate Lifeform doesn’t need rest, you thought, as you curled up and wiped away the tears before going to sleep.
As the weeks passed, you became immune to his indifference. Shadow didn’t try anymore, and neither did you. Both of you only shared the table out of habit. Is this how it feels when love ends?
“I stopped trying to make him laugh
Stopped trying to drill the safe.”
Right now, you were in the room with a bag full of your belongings. You couldn’t take this indifference anymore. The suffering was killing you, and he couldn’t even notice. You quickly grabbed what you could from your drawers and put it inside. Near the door, there was a photo. In it, you and Shadow were sitting on the edge of a hill, happy, smiling. When did all that happiness evaporate? Where did all that happiness go?
“Thinkin, how much sad did you think I had
Did you think I had in me?
Oh, the tragedy ...”
You pushed the photograph to the floor, the frame shattering into a thousand pieces at the same time as your heart did. Was this really what you wanted? The pain in your chest was devastating. There seemed to be no way out of it; you just needed it to stop. How could you stop a heart that lost its only reason to beat?
“I stopped CPR, after all it's no use
The spirit was gone, we would never come to.”
It wasn’t too late. You could still go back, leave everything as it was, and Shadow would never know. The thought of staying made your heart hurt less, but for how long? How much longer could you bear it? Before the pain consumed you completely, what else were you willing to give?
“And you say I abandoned the ship
But I was going down with it
My white knuckles dying grip
Holding tight to your quiet resentment.”
As you picked up the glass shards, you remembered the last fight you had. It was early, Shadow had promised he would spend the day with you. You woke up so excited, happy that finally your boyfriend would have time for the two of you, but when you went downstairs, you found him about to leave through the door.
“Where are you going? I thought we were going to spend the day together,” you said, fiddling with your fingers, a nervous tic that always appeared when you were anxious.
“Something important came up” Shadow said, opening the door.
“I thought I was important” the anger consumed you from within. You had spoken without thinking. “At least pretend that you’re trying” You quickly covered your mouth, as if you could erase what you had just said. Shadow just sighed and gripped the doorknob tightly.
“You think I’m not trying?” he asked, anger building up on his voice as he turned to face you “I always push myself, I want to live my life, to enjoy it. Just like you do! But the death of my family is on me, and if I wasn’t created, none of it would’ve happened. It’s on me, I’m the one who has to pay for it. It’s all on me, so gods forgive me if I don’t have time for spoiled stupid little brats” he said, next thing you knew is that Shadow had disappeared using his chaos control, didn’t even bother to open the door, leaving you stranded. You stayed there at the edge of the stairs, trying to hold back your sobs, but as seconds passed, the weight became unbearable and it all came out. The pain was so deep that you couldn’t breathe, as if life itself was slipping from your hands. That day, when Shadow came back, he didn’t dare speak to you.
“My friends said it isn't right to be scared
Every day of a love affair
Every breath feels like rarest air
When you're not sure if he wants to be there.”
When you told Rouge and Amy about it, they were ready to hit him so hard that even his ancestors would feel the pain. But you didn’t let them, because you loved him, despite everything… you loved him. You still love him, right?
“Just how low did you think I'd go?
Before I'd self-implode
Before I'd have to go be free.”
“You swore that you loved me but where are the clues?” you whispered as you held the photograph in your hands, caressing it, wishing to go back to that day. You inhaled, filling your lungs with fresh air, allowing yourself to feel that pain, hidden, denied, buried among what you thought was love. For a moment, you let it take control of your body, each second more unbearable than the last. You couldn’t go on like this, you weren’t going to go on like this. Shadow wouldn’t take everything you were and turn it to ashes. Yes, you loved him, but you wouldn’t let him drag you into his misery. He had taken what once was a home and turned it into a cold, dark place, where light couldn’t reach you, at least not until you allowed it.
“And I'm just getting color back into my face
I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place.”
You turned the photograph around, took the pen that was on the table near the front door, and wrote your farewell. You placed the paper back on the table with your keys, and as your heart agonized, you gave the final goodbye to your home, the only one you’ve ever known.
“Had a good run
A moment of warm sun
But I'm not the one
So long, Shadow” - Moon.
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moosekateer13 · 5 months ago
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Act 3: Sinking Ships and Colours
1 year later...
Austin, Texas
My husband places a kiss on my lips before I get ready for my shoot.
He playfully chases me around while I’m trying to gather my clothes for the shoot. A floral silk and leather dress. It’s one of my favourites since it’s what I wore the day we met.
“Jared, stop, I've got to get ready for the shoot for Austin Lifestyle today,” I said with a smile.
"Okay, fine. I'll let you get ready so you can go back home quickly." 
Jared replied with a smirk.
After I finally get dressed, I get into my blue Mercedes-AMG G63.
It feels good to be loved finally. Jared and I met at the Cherrywood Coffeehouse. I was grabbing a coffee before my first shoot in the USA in years. We started chatting and we just hit it off. We swapped numbers and have been joined at the hip ever since.
 We share a few things in common. We were both born and raised in Texas. We both started our first job when we were 17. His first acting role was A Little Inside and, for me, a local magazine. We even went to the same high school but never crossed paths.
He proposed to me at Mi Madre's Restaurant 6 months later.
I open the door of the cafe with a smile. They wanted to interview me about my life here in Austin. 
I mentioned having grown up here to me leaving for London after my now ex-fiance wanted to go back home. My life changed when I moved back here and became Jared's wife. Also, being a stepmother to his kids.
“So is there anything else you would like to add, Mrs. Padalecki?” Odette Anabelle asked.
“Yeah, just one thing. Love comes when you least expect it. I didn't know that moving back here would change my life for the better. I'm so glad I did.” I replied.
“Thank you for your time. We'll take a few pics and then we can wrap things up,” Odette said with a smile.
They take a few pics of me sitting on the sofa in the cafe and one with me standing sipping my coffee.
Once they are satisfied with everything, they allow me to leave.
I bump into someone while heading out. The man blocks my way.  I recognize that scent anywhere Peter. What the hell is he doing here? He looks different his reddish blonde hair is longer now and reaches his shoulders. His grey eyes scan over me.
“We need to talk Y/N. How dare you leave without so much as a note? All I found was your engagement ring on the stoop. You never even fought for us, you just jumped ship. I also can't believe I had to find out through social media that you were married.” Peter growled.
“You got to be fucking kidding me. No note and not fighting for us. That's rich coming from you. It was you who didn't spend time keeping us alive. You metaphorically threw us into the Thames River with heavy clothes. Then you expected me to carry my spine up the hill. I stopped reviving it when I knew it was dead. Now leave me alone. I've finally got colour back in my face. I'm happy now.” I said. I feel a shot of adrenaline shoot through me and I push him out of the way. 
I finally get in my car and head home. Jared is there waiting for me. By the look on my face, he deduced I ran into Peter. I turn around to hang up my coat. I feel his arms wrap around me.
He kisses the top of my head.
“Don't let him get to you too much. You know the kids and I love you. Y/N you've got home with us,” Jared said.
“I know and I love you, too. I'm lucky to have you guys.” I replied.
He moves his hands lower to my stomach. I nuzzle into his neck.
I feel content being here in his arms.
He's my home.
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letters-from-dekarios · 8 months ago
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the tortured poets department (gale’s version)
tracks one through five
summary: an analyzation of TTPD with comparisons to gale dekarios’ story and life. some generalized things are part of the version of gale i’ve made in my mind that makes sense for his character to me.
or: me rambling about the TTPD songs and how each lyric relates to gale dekarios.
word count: 3.8k
tags: taylor swift is mothering with this new album, gale dekarios, i am mystra’s hateclub ceo, most of these songs are about their breakup sorry if i reiterate things a million times, MENTIONS OF S/H & SUICIDE. DO NOT READ IF THESE THINGS TRIGGER YOU.
author’s note: this multi-part series is going to be written in a much more casual style than my traditional fanfics. if you notice me rambling or screaming for like three sentences straight, don't be alarmed, I did spell check everything!
First and foremost, I absolutely LOVE this album. Artistically and lyrically, this is one of Taylor’s most sophisticated albums. It’s a story not really about boys or love or anything (not in the same way that other albums/songs have been, at least. take ‘love story’ or ‘enchanted’ for example), but instead is about her. Yes, her songs have technically always been about her. But this album has such a different ring to it. It’s about her and her feelings and about telling her story to the world, no matter if it makes people upset. This album is so unapologetically Taylor Swift that it is simply just… beautiful. I love this album SO much.
Now… let’s get into it!
fortnight;
I see this song both from the perspective of Gale and that of Mystra thinking of Gale.
“I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic”
makes me think of Gale hiding in his tower for a whole Year after receiving the orb. He and Mystra’s relationship wasn’t the longest either had ever had, but the breaking it off still hurt more than anything he’d ever experienced.
“All of this to say I hope you're okay/But you're the reason/And no one here's to blame/But what about your quiet treason?”
THIS IS SO. Gale knows that he’s, he was at fault for some of it too. But her treason against him (leaving him to die) goes overlooked by SO many. Even Gale overlooks her misdemeanors because he feels like he is ALSO at fault, and STILL wishes her the best despite it all.
“And for a fortnight there, we were forever/Run into you sometimes, ask about the weather/Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors/Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her”
Metaphorically, they were together for a “fortnight”. They weren’t together for a Long time romantically, so their relationship wasn’t a long one. But now every time he uses the Weave or connects with her it’s like everything has changed and he has to play nice for fear of losing whatever friendship they had. And I’m sure some part of Gale is angry at Elminster for still being her Chosen and still having her affection (‘your wife waters flowers’).
“All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February/I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary”
Even though February is the shortest month, I personally interpret the analogy like ‘this was short, but it feels longer’ and with ‘all my mornings are Mondays’ it’s like starting over time and time again but always ending up at the start. With Gale, even though their time together was futile, he’s still stuck on it. No matter how hard he tries, the effects of Mystra’s romantic loss on him is Hard. His mind always wraps back around to it.
“I love you, it’s ruining my life”
Gale still talked about Mystra and was willing to give up his life for her. He would’ve done Anything for her.
“Thought of calling you, but you won’t pick up”
Gale still tries to reach out to her even though he Knows she won’t listen to him. Even though he Knows she wants nothing to do with him right now, he still tries to reach her.
“Move to Florida, buy the car you want/buy it won’t start till I touch, touch, touch you”
He can move on and try to escape it all but no matter what he does, Mystra is Always There. She always will be. Because without her and her power, he has nothing. And it messes with him Terribly.
the tortured poets department;
“You’re in self-sabatoge mode, throwing spikes down on the road”
Mystra KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING. How could she not?? How could she not know the magic he was using and not see what he was trying to do for her? He was destroying their relationship long before the tome and she had the Audacity to not say anything about it.
However, on Gale’s end, “But I've seen this episode and still loved the show”
LITERALLY KARSUS’ FOLLY. Gale was so aware of what Karsus had done and knew of his mistakes and sought to not be like him… yet he did something similar because he thought that the rest of the ‘show’ or relationship in this case could be different and wouldn’t affect the rest of it.
BUT, then, “And who's gonna hold you like me?/And who's gonna know you, if not me?”
Mystra knows he can try to move on, but she will always be there at the forefront of his mind. He can attempt to escape, but she is Always There.
“"You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith/This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we'rе modern idiots"”
I take this lyric as something Mystra says in a way to Gale. Kind of how she tells him to “be contented” (yes I reference this line a lot). Mystra tries to tell him that their love is not the grandest and not legendary. It is going to end. While she doesn’t refer to herself as an idiot, I feel the line can be taken as she sees the love itself as idiotic. She’s had so many lovers that this with Gale is just.. pointless, in a sense? She never had any intention of furthering his magic any more than it had been, so his idea with her is stupid.
“But you awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head/But I’ve read this one before, where you come undone”
She’s had So Many Chosen and even had someone try and literally usurp her power before. She knew what she was doing with him, even if Gale had no clue what was going to happen.
“Sometimes, I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me/But you told Lucy you'd kill yourself if I ever leave/And I had said that to Jack about you, so I felt seen/Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be”
GALE IS INSECURE. MYSTRA TELLS HIM TO BE CONTENT AND HE TRIES TO!!!! He really Really tries to but cannot bring himself to. People who still just see him as her Chosen find little to no issue because they think he’s this great, grand, all-powerful wizard so it makes Sense.
“At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger/And put it on the one people put wedding rings on/And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding”
MYSTRA. She tells him to be contented even when he’s begging for more and wants to know her more intimately and instead of squashing the idea he had of becoming something greater with her, she just lets him SIT WITH THE IDEA. KNOWING FULL WELL WHAT HE WOULD'VE DONE AND WHAT HE WANTED TO DO. This song is so Mystra saying that Gale will never find anything greater than her and Gale’s heartbreak and realization over that fact.
my boy only breaks his favorite toys;
“Oh, here we go again/The voices in his head/Called the rain to end our days of wild”
I take this as Mystra seeing Gale and knowing that she was going to start something with him. After all, she had to know of his magic usage even as a small child up until she was back and fully alive again. In my headcanons/ideas she was appearing to him perhaps not with full strength but still showing herself even when he was 16/17. She also would’ve known the ideas in his head of growing more powerful and trying to love her with every part of himself.
“The sickest army doll/Purchased at the mall/Rivulets descend my plastic smile”
Mystra chose him much like one chooses a doll they purchase. She used him and abused him, and forced him to carry his fake plastic smile even when he had tears streaming down his face when she left him.
“But you should’ve seen him when he first got me”
GALES UTTER HAPPINESS OVER BEING CHOSEN BY MYSTRA? He had been practicing since he was a child. Mystra was his absolute everything!!
“My boy only breaks his favorite toys, toys, oh/I'm queen of sand castles he destroys, oh, oh”
AHHH. No matter how hard Gale could’ve and was trying, he crumbled the relationship in his hands. He didn’t mean to, but it happened regardless. Also, ‘queen of sandcastles he destroys’ THINKING that he was standing on stable ground with Mystra, before realizing that it was easy to ruin and never stable to begin with. At the same time, though, Mystra thinking that she had Gale exactly where she wanted him and then realizing that he was going down a path she wouldn’t support. But instead of helping him rebuild she just let him sit with his destruction.
“There was a litany of reasons why/We could've playеd for keeps this time”
both with Mystra and Gale, either of them could’ve fought to maintain the relationship. But Gale was the only one who actually… did.
“I know I'm just repeating mysеlf/Put me back on my shelf/But first, pull the string/And I'll tell you that he runs/Because he loves me (He loves me)”
Gale constantly says the same thing over and over about Mystra and their relationship. He has hope! But he knows she’s going to ‘put [him] back on [her] shelf’ and no longer play with him. She/Tav pulls his string (like Woody/Jessie, pulling their string makes them say their pre-recorded phrases) and he just repeats the idea that he can gain her forgiveness again and that she can love him again. I also relate the ‘repeating myself’ and ‘pull the string’ to one another, too. No matter how many times you pull the string, the doll just repeats the same phrases over and over again. In this case, we know Gale can and does change his tune if you let him, but if he doesn’t and he explodes he keeps the same exact idea for the rest of the game.
“Once I fix me/He's gonna miss me”
crying because Gale consistently thinks that if he does everything Mystra asks that she will forgive him and things can go back to how they were.
“Just say when, I'd play again/He was my best friend down at the sandlot/I felt more when we played pretend/Than with all the Kens/'Cause he took me out of my box”
In a heartbeat, Gale would go back to Mystra and return to their dysfunction. Their relationship was like ‘playing pretend’ and when brought back to reality it was much harsher. He felt more because it was so unrealistic and not expected to last, much like how when you made up stories playing pretend, you would start new ones over and over again. She ‘took [him] out of [his] box’ only to ‘put [him] back on [his] shelf’ but the idea that he was wanted was what made it worth it.
“Stole my tortured heart/Left all these broken parts/Told me I'm better off/But I'm not/I'm not, I'm not”
this is a prevalent theme in all of the album, being ‘stolen’ or ‘taken’ and then being ‘broken’ or ruined, before being casted aside for the idea of being ‘better off’. Gale thinks he’s not better off and would prefer being taken and toyed with, but in reality it’s more beneficial to him. It’s the process of it that hurts.
down bad;
I cannot even begin to comprehend this one. In Taylor’s explanation of this song she states that the metaphor for love-bombing is of an alien taking someone and showing them the galaxy and then sending them home when they really liked it there. And that is just. UGH.
“Did you really beam me up/In a cloud of sparkling dust/Just to do experiments on?/Tell me I was the chosen one/Showed me that this world is bigger than us/Then sent me back where I came from”
THIS. “Tell me i was the chosen one” She did!!! She literally picked Gale as her chosen and then told him to “be contented” as if he wouldn’t be striving for more. She gave him a small slice of godhood and expected him to not want more?
“Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym/Everything comes out teenage petulance/"Fuck it if I can't have him"/"I might just die, it would make no difference"”
Gale locked himself in his tower for a whole Year, nearly dying because he was so depressed over everything. Yes, he also nearly died because of the orb, BUT he mostly locked himself away because of his mourning the relationship.
“Down bad, wakin' up in blood/Starin' at the sky, come back and pick me up/Fuck it if I can't have us/I might just not get up, I might stay”
Had Tara not been there, I do not think Gale would’ve lived. 100% he would’ve died after that first year because he refused to get out of bed. He just wanted Mystra and to have the Weave and without that he was willing to die.
“Did you take all my old clothes/Just to leave me here, naked and alone/In a field in my same old town/That somehow seems so hollow now?/They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about/The existence of you”
THIS??? She took away his abilities (his old self) and left him with, essentially, nothing. And then expected him to just be in Waterdeep and be fine? And then when he’s abducted, if you don’t romance him and/or have him explode for you, he LITERALLY gets called crazy for talking about Mystra. Literally. I’m 90% sure you can tell him to shut up when he tells you the truth about the orb.
“I loved your hostile takeovers/Encounters closer and closer/All your indecent exposures/How dare you say that it's—“
AUGH. Whenever Gale talks about Mystra and how she appeared to him, no matter how much she’s hurt him, he still loves her? He still reminisces on those moments with love and adoration for her despite all the pain that came with it. Everything they did he loved, and her tossing him aside Hurt. Also the sadness in her voice as she says “how dare you say it’s—“ because she ALMOST says ‘over’ but it’s choked back because if she says it she’ll start crying. The same with Gale. He knows in his heart that it’s over but this part of him can’t handle the fact that it is and that Mystra would end it like that.
“I'll build you a fort on some planet/Where they can all understand it/How dare you think it's romantic/Leaving me safe and stranded/'Cause fuck it, I was in love/So fuck you if I can't have us/'Cause fuck it, I was in love”
Gale was SO ready to explore more with Mystra and have her in her entirety. Was it a bit selfish trying to be a god to do that? Yes. BUT she literally left him completely alone after having the orb!! He wanted so much with her and wanted to be able to expand his abilities to match her and instead she tossed him aside like she was “helping” him but really she was destroying him. He was so in love with her (and, yes, the weave too) that he would’ve done everything. Then as the game goes on you can see his progression to understanding how she hurt him and how he’s allowed to be angry about it.
so long, london;
this is one of my FAVORITE songs on this album. the intro is so beautiful and so haunting. this song also makes me SO sad.
“I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist/I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift/Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away”
UGH OKAY. Metaphorically, the fairy lights were like that light at the end of the tunnel. But the mist blocks them out, making it hard to tell if there really is this fantasy-like future ahead or if it’s your mind playing tricks on you. With Gale, he wanted so desperately to have a happy ending. And yes, he does eventually get it depending on how you play, but when it comes to Mystra and everything, he really… doesn’t? He tries so hard to carry the ‘rift’ or the breaking of their foundation. Every time Mystra pulls away from him, he tries to pull her close and hold onto that fantasy he thinks he’s going to have.
“My spine split from carrying us up the hill/Wet through my clothes, weary bones caught the chill/I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe”
CARRYING US UP THE HILL? SISYPHUS (‘thanK you aIMee’ also has a similar lyric that makes me think of sisyphus as well but that will be saved for that song). Punished to forever push that stone up the hill with no end, never being free from the weight. Not only is she trying to push and carry this weight up, she also is soaked and her bones are tired. She has so much on her own plate that trying to keep up this relationship and keep it going is only making everything else worse. In the same sense, Gale kept trying to keep this dying relationship going. Rather than it being easy, everything just kept piling on top of one another and pulling him down more and more. Eventually, he let’s go of it and stops trying to win her over. He stops trying to ‘drill the safe’, or, stops trying to get something that was never his to begin with. Something that is locked away for a reason.
“Thinkin', "How much sad did you think I had/Did you think I had in me?"/Oh, the tragedy/So long, London/You'll find someone”
MYSTRA THINKING HE COULD HANDLE IT ALL? And then just leaving him. Leaving him to deal with it all on his own. The ‘so long, London’ to me is both Gale saying goodbye to the Weave AND Waterdeep. Obviously he returns to Waterdeep (if he doesn’t explode) but it’s not the same as how he went in. He’s much different when he returns. Also, he knows Mystra will find someone else. He has no worries about that. In the same sense, Mystra knows Gale will find someone else too. Even if he’s still holding onto parts of her.
“I didn't opt in to be your odd man out/I founded the club she's heard great things about/I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath”
Gale went into it thinking he would have her forever. At least, his concept of forever. He didn’t want Mystra or the Weave if it meant that, one day, he might be closed out from it all. He left everything behind for her, and yet she left him behind in his tower to rot.
“I stopped CPR, after all, it's no use/The spirit was gone, we would never come to”
He tried so, so incredibly hard to bring the relationship back to life. But, eventually, he had to give up and realize that help wasn’t coming, it was long gone, and he had to let go. “And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free” THIS LYRIC ALONE. And the way Taylor says ‘free’ with the shake in her voice… This is. I feel like, deep down, Gale is genuinely hurt and angry with Mystra for all she did. And not just her, Elminster, too. If someone would’ve realized what was going on, he could’ve been saved. But, instead, he dedicated all his youth, his time, his energy, all to her. All to the Weave. Only for it to mean nothing in the end.
“And you say I abandoned the ship/But I was going down with it/My white-knuckle dying grip/Holding tight to your quiet resentment”
THIS?? Mystra saying that Gale was trying to usurp her authority or take over her magic when in reality all he wanted was to love her? Her accusing him of essentially trying to kill her when really he just wanted to be closer to her. He literally was willing to do anything for her, even after she hurt him he was willing to die for her. He tried holding on so so hard, that ‘white knuckle dying grip’ showing how tightly he was gripping onto this relationship. For better or for worse he was willing to drown if it meant he still had a piece of that relationship.
“And my friends said it isn't right to be scared/Every day of a love affair/Every breath feels like rarest air/When you're not sure if he wants to be there”
UGGHHHHH. Tav telling Gale pretty much that he doesn’t have to do this? He doesn’t have to hold onto Mystra and follow her every beck and call and he has to realize that. Every day Mystra finds someone else or focuses her attention on another Chosen, he’s so scared he’s going to lose her forever. Every moment she doesn’t speak to him or ignores him, he fears he’s going to have everything taken away from him. UGHHH.
“You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?/I died on the altar waitin' for the proof/You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days”
THIS. LYRIC. TOO. Mystra promised him that she loved him, that she was essentially as devoted to him, but every moment Gale spent waiting for her to prove that, to show the same amount of love that he held for her, she failed him. She left him at the altar alone with all his hopes and dreams. She sacrificed him, or wanted him to sacrifice himself, really, for her. So she could keep going and not have to deal with him anymore.
“And I'm just getting color back into my face/I'm just mad as hell 'cause I loved this place for”
GALE FINALLY BEING ABLE TO BE HIMSELF AGAIN!! When he realizes he can trust Tav and doesn’t need to hide these parts of himself.. and then he tells them his secrets and he apologizes for keeping them but he was so wounded from his last relationship that he doesn’t know what to do. Then he gets color back into his face and he’s finally able to heal from it all. And he’s so mad because he loved the Weave and he loved being so talented with it but it’s all in the past and it’s all lost to him now. Even though he still has it but.. you get the picture. UGHH THIS SONG. THIS SONG!!
If you made it this far, thank you for sticking along! My mind works in weird ways when it comes to analyzing/reviewing lyrics. I tend to take things very literally so some of my interpretations are viewed that way!
Either way, I hope you enjoyed. Be on the lookout for tracks six through ten next!
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taylorswiftmicrofic · 7 months ago
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June 1 – stitches
Inspired by So Long London Rules & FAQs
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playingonedchess · 4 months ago
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weird how this year like basically every fiction thing ive been into has been mystery crime sort of stuff
#there was yuumorri riverrs of london ace atorneh and crime i punishment#which isnt very many things for a whole half a year#theres been a few other things ive watched and read as well i suppose#but ive been getting into new stuff way less than i used to#useless loser reading too much bloody fanfiction i didnt used to do that#i know its not tumblr cause i did used to do that#though also like since i started uni i suppose thats not really a reason but the second part of last calender year was similar#though now im just confused what was when its not that confusing is it#anyway im not sure im really more busy now im at uni#i mean i spend so much time doing nothing just on my phone or whatever#and a lot less hours objectively#not even sure ive got that much more going on probably less#like i do remember being at least a bit busy with a levels at school even though i didnt have a life then either#ive had the habbit of obsessing over things to cope with not having a life and not wanting to have to think about doing stuff i have to#ive been doing that for ages but as time goes on i do think ive become more dispassionate or something#not that thats really got anything to do with it#but i can at least say that a year living alone with like responsibilities or something like whatever not like i really did much#i seem just to be becoming lazier and lazier if i cant even be bothered to read or watch tv much what the fuck#like i genuinly dont think theres been that much pressure than school#like there was lots academically back then and also i didnt know what i was going to do after#i do think not talking to people has a bad overall effect in the long term in a lot of aspects but i dont know how exactly that relates#to whatever im talking about or how to explain it to prove it
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theblackdog552 · 7 months ago
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My first fic of my series ‘The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.’ I hope you like it :)
Its possible I continue the series. Its not dependent on how well its received, but kudos and comments will definitely give me encouragement, since this is baby’s first fic.
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emigrams · 8 months ago
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So long London but its Alex and Henry not working out
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see-arcane · 9 months ago
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Our good friend Jonathan Harker is getting ready to leave for his business trip, Mina Murray is picking out a new journal, Lucy Westenra is charming a gaggle of smitten suitors, Abraham van Helsing is wrapping up his lectures, and Castle Dracula is prepping the guest room for a very long stay.
Which must mean that Dracula Season is here again!
 ‘Dracula Season’ being a catchall term for the voracious reading, memeing, writing, illustrating, analyzing, and general fun-having that’s ensued since Matt Kirkland’s project, Dracula Daily, caught on with us back in 2022. The Substack had already been running before then, but it sparked a conflagration as time went on and readers old and new to Bram Stoker’s Dracula—the actual novel, not Coppola’s fanfiction—devoured it in a way that scratched an itch none of us knew we had. Stoker wrote the book in epistolary fashion, clumping sections together as needed for the pacing without perfect adherence to chronological order. Matt went ahead and put all the events in order and proceeded to set up a lovely chain of emails that delivered entries on those correlating dates.
This style of organization and pacing turned out to not only make the virtual book club that much easier to engage with, but left space in-between to stew on the story and relate with the characters themselves. Every day of waiting in the book feels weightier when you have to pace and sweat and worry in tandem with poor Jonathan trapped in the castle or Lucy wasting away or Mina running out the clock before she loses the fight for her own humanity. And while we sat with the story or the lulls between Dracula Seasons, some of us found ourselves craving more of that ghastly gothic horror goodness to the point that we figured:
“Well. Why don’t I make something?”
And then we did! Tons of creative works have been churned out in the wake of Dracula Daily’s high. I figured that while we’ve still got a bit of time to wait for May 3rd, we should check out all this new stuff in the meantime. (Plus a handful of neat stuff that just clicks with the Dracula itch overall.)
So, in the interest of Dracula Season pregaming, let’s take a look at…
FICTION
Blood of My Blood – A recent addition to the Dracula Bad Ending AU pile, and definitely one of the most harrowing and addictive group-produced narratives I’ve ever come across, Blood of My Blood is the dramatically gothic currently-WIP work of @ibrithir-was-here and @animate-mush’s devious design. Give or take a heap of other fascinated folks (hello!) adding ideas to put more Horror into the Horrors that our cast has to face. The premise:
The Transylvanian climax went fatally sour and the Harkers were forced to shelter with Dracula himself, including their half-vampire son, Quincey. Cut to two decades later, and Quincey finds himself out in modern London, smitten with Lu, adopted daughter of Arthur and Jack, and diving into certain bloodstained old documents that detail the real history of how his parents came to live in the castle. Said revelations coming not a moment too soon, as a storm is coming for him straight from the Carpathians…
Dracula Daily Sketch Collection – An array of illustrations that captures every entry beat by beat, the Dracula Daily Sketch Collection by Georgia Cook, alias @georgiacooked was dished out over the course of the last Dracula Season. Some of the most fun character designs out there.
Fanfiction Spotlight: BlueCatWriter – With a whopping 99 works devoted to the novel Dracula (so far, the number may have gone up since I blinked), @bluecatwriter is one of the most prolific and talented fanfiction scribblers out there. Romances, nightmares, and overlaps between the two seem to crop up the most, give or take a crossover. Seems fitting that those blue paw prints have contributed to BoMB too.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlefolk – An ongoing comic in which all your favorite characters from the Classics section get together and tackle some perils ranging from the mundane to the monstrous. Started by the amazing @mayhemchicken and posted on @lxgentlefolkcomic, this series is a love letter to beloved Victorian era lit, with a spotlight on the two couples leading the League. Namely, the Harkers, ala Dracula, and the Nortons, ala Sherlock Holmes,’ “A Scandal in Bohemia.” Mina and Irene are the driving investigative and steering forces here, and still deeply in love with their likewise-infatuated husbands, just like in their canons! What a concept! Alan.
Without spoiling the full character list, just know there are going to be a ton of familiar faces roaming around before you finish reading the first arc. Said arc having conveniently wrapped up just a few days ago! Give the comic and its bonus silliness a look if you’re in the mood for a new comfort-adventure epic.
Re: Dracula – Probably the most well-known and incredible thing to come out of the initial Dracula Daily wave. This podcast is a full audio drama that follows the same format as the Substack, with episodes coming out in time with the entries themselves. And it has an unfairly cool soundtrack. They have a Tumblr with @re-dracula, a site and a Patreon to check out before the series kicks up again on May 3rd. (Also, keep an eye out for their next work, an audio drama in the same style with Carmilla.)
The Soldier and the Solicitor – Another treat from @ibrithir-was-here, this one involves a bit of time travel trouble. Quincey Harker has stumbled out of World War I and into the same dark forest where his father once fled for his life…then runs into the man himself, on that same night. Jonathan Harker, young and starved and lost, who has no choice but to trust this stranger while the Weird Sisters are at his heels…despite said stranger having no shadow. It’s a tasty emotional trek, already complete on Tumblr, but now it’s turning into a Webtoon. While Ibrithir is juggling a number of other stories, she’ll be redrawing spruced up versions of the comic and adding a few new scenes as things unfold.
Substack Stack – You know what’s better than one emailed-out public domain book club? A mountain of them. Just. So, so many of them. You’ll see that a lot of these are finished, but some are still ticking along. Either way, they’re all great picks if you’re craving some more old school lit to fill the void between undead emails.
Frankenstein Weekly – Frankenstein
Jekyll and Hyde Weekly – The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Voyage of the Nautilus – Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea
Letters from Watson – Sherlock Holmes
The Invisible Mail – The Invisible Man
Letters from Bunny – E.W. Hornung’s short stories of the eponymous Bunny and Raffles
Letters Regarding Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse’s Bertie Wooster short stories, including the novel, Right Ho, Jeeves
……
………
…The Beetle Weekly – The Beetle (NOTE: Do Not Read This.)
The Vampyres – A novella I finally wrenched through the gears of self-publication as of March this year. Starring a petite but powerful paranormal cast, The Vampyres, centers on an unscrupulous undead fellow who finds that the revenants of the world are being mowed down by an entity known only as ‘Quinn Morse.’ Between trying to save his neck and figure out where the shadowy bastard came from, the Vampyre in question crosses paths with a new paramour and handy human shield in the form of a grieving Good Samaritan. He’s even polite enough to invite the Vampyre into his home while he’s in dire straits! Surely this will end well. All the info is available here and a little author site is over here.
What Manner of Man – This is the one made for everyone who started out hoping there’d be a real love story with our good friend Jonathan Harker and the Count when he was at his most charismatic. Where that sea of wonders dried up into a mire of horror, What Manner of Man by @stjohnstarling keeps things firmly on the romantic tracks. This Substack stars the letter-writing priest Father Victor E. Ardelian as he finds himself meeting with one enigmatic Lord Alistair Vane. It isn’t long before interest turns into intrigue and intrigue into undead intimacies.
The entire novel has been completed—along with multiple epilogues in the author’s Patreon, allowing readers to choose for themselves just how the uncanny romance plays out in the end—and the Substack now has a number of other gothic goodies piling up in the meantime.  
NONFICTION
Dracula Daily: A Unique Reading Experience: This one comes courtesy of @realwomenofgaming. It’s a short and sweet piece that amounts to a fun snapshot of the entire Dracula Daily ride. A cozy couple-minute read.
‘Dracula Daily’ is the One Substack You Need a Subscription To: Features my favorite Matt Kirkland interview. @mattkirkland, if you’re still floating around on here, thank you for dispatching our vampire newsletter again this year.
Dracula Daily is Tumblr’s hottest new book club: Alright, the ‘new’ part is worn out by now, but this one is still a delightful article to swing back around to. Two years on, this Polygon piece is a time capsule of those early months when people outside our bookworm bubble realized we were all happily receiving letters from our favorite classic gothic horror blorbos.  
“How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” – Princess Weekes, if you ever read this, thank you, thank you, thank you. I am sending oceans of love and millions of rewatches to your video essay. If you haven’t seen it yet, “How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” is one of the most refreshing and well-made breakdowns of both the title subject and numerous other issues that have proliferated in the public view of Dracula’s cast and plot as adaptations endlessly warp or outright bastardize the actual novel. An incredibly cathartic watch.  
Literary play gone viral: delight, intertextuality, and challenges to normative interpretations through the digital serialization of Dracula: A mouthful of a title for an even more elaborate article about the Dracula Daily phenomenon. This one is a full-on study that analyzes just what happened within the big bloodsucker book club surge and how its ‘wandering reading practices’ enriched the experience for participants.
 “The Undying Undead: An analysis of the Dracula Daily community for a theory of online community formation and interaction” – We have a thesis on here! Look at that! @sirangelothebestest’s MA thesis used our vampiric book club as the bones for a massive brick of an academic piece that definitely deserves a look.
…And I think I’ll go ahead and cap things here.
This isn’t everything I got recommended, but if I had squashed all of it in here, I think folks’ eyes would start to fall out of their head. I hope you can find something cool to comb through here. Or, if there’s something great I overlooked, tack it onto the list! We’ve got just two weeks to go until we’re off with Mr. Harker. Let’s enjoy our respite before those castle doors close behind us.
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contact-guy · 9 months ago
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“#I read so many gay Victorian love letters and books to get the tone right lol #Plato‘s symposium reference was THE way to signal you liked men in the late 19th century“ would you mind sharing some of your sources? 👀 I also want to write gay Victorian fanfiction am just naturally curious about the victorians
Omg 1000%, let me cite my sources:
Strangers: Homosexual Love in the Nineteeth Century by Graham Robb - this book is a treasure trove of well researched information. A lot of queer history focuses on men and I really appreciate all the stories about women in this one. It’s 20 years old and by (as far as I can tell) a straight author, so there’s some limitations - a total lack of awareness of bisexuality and trans identity - but I really enjoyed it regardless. There’s also like four pages where he discusses Sherlock Holmes as an iconic gay protagonist that changed my brain.
Fanny and Stella by Neil McKenna - a heavily researched story of two trans femmes in Victorian England, the crossdressing trial that scandalized London, their sisterhood and surrounding community, and the love triangle they were involved in. It’s written in a VERY fun and gossipy way, with a ton of primary sources, and is such a compelling story! This author also wrote a book about Wilde I haven’t read yet.
Gay History and Literature by Ricor Norton - it’s a website, not a book (I can’t find his books except at really high prices!) but it’s an obsessively compiled list of…basically…what it says on the tin. There’s a collection of gay love letters and newspaper clippings that are fascinating to read!
The Portrait of Mr. W. H. by Oscar Wilde, heard of him? This is my favorite Wilde story! It’s about the theory that Shakespeare’s sonnets were written to a young man, and how the desire for proof drives a man to death, and the frustrations and joys of looking for yourself in long-dead writing.
Before Queer Theory: Victorian Aestheticism and the Self by Dustin Friedman - reading this book felt like making my brain lift weights, but it was really interesting - it’s about the Aesthetic movement and how modern queer identity began in the nineteeth century.
Maurice by E. M. Forster (not technically Victorian but close) is a story written in 1913 about gay love (published in 1971 and dedicated to “a happier time” 🥲). It gave me some ideas about how a confession could play out. Plato’s Symposium is used as a pickup line, of course.
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elodieunderglass · 28 days ago
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✅ ⛔️ 😊?
From the fanfiction ask meme!
⛔️ whats something you try to avoid in your work?
In fanfiction I try to avoid political laziness, and the tendency to make background characters all the same kind of person that indicates the writer has a REALLY limited social bubble.
In Strange Pilgrims (Good Omens https://archiveofourown.org/works/19368694/chapters/46082842 ) I needed some disposable demons for a chase scene. The source material TV adaptation took the fairly-lazy route of making disposable demons recognisable stereotypes of British “lower classes” or had them be ugly little disposable creature things. I deliberately decided to avoid that, so I had to think about what kind of person I am instead, and what I should say instead. So that’s why I decided my disposable demons would be horrible rich people/ landlords/ irl scum. I got a sly dig in at what I perceived as perfectly avoidable laziness in the adaptation, and an easy route into their descriptions;
A stereotypical mental image of "a group of menacing people and a dog, following someone in London" might involve shifty-looking people in tracksuit bottoms, and a dog whose rap sheet includes the words "pit bull" somewhere. This group of menacing people is signalling something far crueller. They are white, well-dressed, smirking - they look like Tolly's colleagues. The woman-looking one has long straightened blonde hair, and is genuinely wearing an actual padded gilet. The men-looking ones look like they've never been held accountable for anything in their lives; one looks like he has a portfolio of rental properties, and the other one looks like he has designed a social media platform.
I also liked that this gave me stuff to hang descriptions on! A landlord can be so hateful! What kind of villainous animalistic attribute do we give him? (Demons in the adaptation are given animalistic attributes; Crowley is a snake.) Pfff, no need to malign and stereotype normal animals either! No perfectly good beastie like a toad or fish needs to be put into the position of being shorthand for “vile”, when landlords are obviously black mould.
Under his brushed and shiny property-developer facade, he seems to be a creeping, suppurating mass of black mould, staining and corrosive, the kind that lurks behind paint and smirks back to the surface when you've committed to another year on the lease. The destroyed eye socket is already healing inside, filling up with fungal growths.
There. Everyone hates him, our politics are funny and cutting, we got some great inspiration, no animals were maligned, landlords were maligned, it all goes nicely and shows off a bit. All that from avoiding a lazy choice!
😊✅
relatedly I liked this continuing choice, that the people who help the heroes throughout the Strange Pilgrims are working-class folks with their own lives. Bus drivers and barefoot ghosts and marching bands and security guards and protesters and librarians, and even the sparrows. They all have voices and value, to me at least, despite being throwaway characters in a fanfic for a forty year old book.
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moosekateer13 · 5 months ago
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Act 2: Pulses and Ashes
3 months later..
I'm starting to miss my family. We haven't been able to connect that easily because of the time zone difference. Peter was supposed to be the start of a new chapter for me. He's only home once a week now. And I've had the flu all week. I feel both homesick and physically sick. Peter doesn't seem to care that our relationship is falling by the wayside. Maybe moving out here was a mistake.
I decided to call my family even if it was late there. I know someone will pick it up.
I feel slightly lighter when my mom picks up.
“Lavender, what's wrong? You wouldn't be calling this late if there wasn't.” Mom said.
“Yeah, Mom there is. I think I made a mistake moving here. Peter is never home; he even missed my birthday party. He didn't even say happy birthday on the actual day.” I replied.
There's a slight silence before Mom responds.
“If he is so absent, maybe it's best if you come home. You can stay with us till you find a place.” Mom said.
“Thanks, Mom and it's been a long time coming but it's time to leave the heartbreak prince. I'll see you and Dad soon. Love you.” I replied
“Love you too.” Mom said.
Cursing myself that I never knew him and two months was too soon to move in with him. Peter claimed he was ceo and had the money to back it up. The way he's acted the last few months. Its more of those born with a silver spoon types. With his shady behavior I tried to do research on him recently but came up with nothing. That gave me even more reason to leave. I didn't want to risk my life.
I threw all my stuff in the 5 suitcases I brought with me when I moved here. Before calling a cab to take me to my private jet. At that exact moment, I'm about to leave when Peter arrives home.
He says nothing when he sees them and acts like it isn’t a big deal.
If I ever lose him I'd never walk St Peter's way again. I thought to myself as I dropped my ring onto the stoop of the flat.
Act 3:
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moonpascaltoo · 8 months ago
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steven grant / marc spector / jake lockley
MASTERLIST • OSCAR ISAAC CHARACTERS • 06/01/24
˚‧⁺ ・ ˖ · ୨ৎ recs three
moon knight one two
𑣲 first kiss I @eastbluecafe
You're trying to figure out why your lovely boyfriends Marc and Steven haven't kissed you yet.
𑣲 homecoming I @luke-o-lophus
All you can remember is Marc died. Your boyfriend, killed by Harrow's bullets. He died not knowing how deeply you love him. And now everything has stopped making sense. But then who's the man in the room?
𑣲 all of me, all of you I @/luke-o-lophus
Steven's life is finally going his way, but he's feeling empty. It's up to you, his long time friend, to remind him he's beautiful and worthy of love. And maybe find love along the way.
𑣲 love bites I @astroboots
Marc wakes up with a lot of hickeys in the mirror.
𑣲 i need some sleep 2.0 I @/astroboots
You've fallen asleep with Steven deep inside you and the poor man tries to hold onto his failing sanity (cockwarming galore).
𑣲 domesticity I @commander-sunshine 
You move into a new flat with the moon boys and they have their first tastes of domestic bliss.
𑣲 lonely is a man without love I @lizzie-is-here
you’re an ex-black widow, now working with the avengers. and marc spector, a soldier gone vigilante, is your target. so who’s this steven guy, and what’s up with the giant skeleton bird?
𑣲 touched starved jake I @softlyspector
𑣲 request I @/softlyspector
𑣲 request I @/softylspector
𑣲 request I @/softlyspector
𑣲 baseball game I @/softlyspector
𑣲 the question is why I @/softlyspector
Steven tries to ask you on a date, he really does.
𑣲 wrong part 2 I @phantomspiderr
Your first date with Jake takes a bit of a steamy turn but ends in a rather soft moment
𑣲 when they decide you're "the one" I @wysteria-clad
𑣲 keepsake I @/wysteria-clad
the boys keep something of yours that reminds them of you
𑣲 i accept in cash and kisses I @/wysteria-clad
𑣲 cucumber face mask and fist of vengeance I @/wysteria-clas
𑣲 lesson in touch I @marc-spectorr
an inexperienced steven turns to you, his best friend, for advice ahead of a date. you happily agree to give him a few pointers, including a quick guide on how to kiss. but what starts out as an innocent favor ends up unearthing feelings that steven has buried for so long, complicating things more as his lessons in touch with you unexpectedly continue.
𑣲 glimpse of us part 2 I @bibli0thecary
you love all three of them equally, not knowing only one of them truly loves you just as much
𑣲 daylight I @/bibli0thecary
𑣲 drabble request I @charnelhouse
𑣲 secret I @quicksilverownsmysoul
You unlock Steven’s hidden mommy kink after overstimulating him
𑣲 just a kiss I @/quicksilverownsmysoul
𑣲 were not married yet I @saikokirakira
you received nothing but radio silence from your partners for months. one day, jake comes home and calls you by an unknowingly offensive endearment. your insecurity acts up, and jake won't give up control until he fixes it.
𑣲 the boy with the thorn in his side I @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction
Steven Grant’s day is going poorly to say the least. He’s lost days, missed his date and now a stranger has sat down opposite him who seems to know him? It would be nice if our favourite Gift-Shopist could catch a break.
𑣲 cancelled I @/my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction
Your plans change.
𑣲 getting up next to you I @in-a-daddy-state-of-mind
Steven keeps waking up next to you after you and Jake hook up
𑣲 fixing mistakes I @madlittlecriminal
𑣲 chaos in us I @sailorkamino
When you leave behind your friends in New York to be the master of the London Sanctum you can't help but feel a little lonely. Luckily a mysterious gift shopist is there to make the foreign city feel like home.
𑣲 3 days away I @variety-fangirl
you and Jake end up arguing about his safety, especially when he comes home worse than ever. After days of silent treatment from him and him refusing to let the others front, you decide a few days away for him to calm down is best.
𑣲 the power of love I @missdictatorme
You live a quiet life, not really feeling like you belong to anywhere. You go to work then go home to your empty apartment and that’s about it. For comfort, you read your favorite comic book, Moon Knight, which is criminally underrated in your opinion. It doesn't even have any merch which is devastating, so you take matters in your own hands and make some dolls out of your favorite characters: Marc, Steven and Jake. Your life takes an interesting turn when unexplainable things start happening in your apartment.
𑣲 ovulation sensation I @ivystoryweaver
You feel awful and Steven makes it all better. Or, I've read the amazing period fics. What about the sometimes-hell of ovulation?
𑣲 the museum's guy I @writingsoftheloser
A meet-cute at the museum
𑣲 resolutions part two part three I @inknopewetrust
𑣲 for the first time I @ereminsdiary
𑣲 a little banged up I @grippingbeskar
𑣲 getting to know you I @moonlight-presence
Jake is jealous of Marc and Steven, so he asks them if he can "get to know you better"... You aren´t sure of this, so you ask to talk to him first. Things escalate a bit, and you end up knowing him in a very intimate way.
𑣲 everything I @cosmicloki
there are always fights with marc, but this time he went too far and steven has to come out to fix the mess he made and try to convince you not to leave them, since you are literally the only good thing in his shitty life.
𑣲 chamber of reflection I @/cosmicloki
steven looks really tired and exhausted, so you decide to confront marc for not taking care of his body properly and this pushes him to do something that the three of you have been wanting to do for quite some time now
𑣲 softcore I @/cosmicloki
marc is apparently having a breakdown in the middle of egypt, the good thing is that you’re right there with him, the person he seems to hate the most in the whole world… or quite the opposite of that. 
𑣲 succiduous I @never--doubt
You know you’re in love with your coworker, Steven Grant. But when things go sideways in more ways than one, will you ever be able to tell him how you feel? More to the point…will you ever see him again?
𑣲 tuesday's on the phone to me I @spilledkauffie
Steven misses a date with you; understanding and thinking that you'll never want to see to him again, he apologizes and leaves. . .
𑣲 and they were roommates I @jayke0
You catch your roommate, Marc, having some private time, and it's only when he comes at the sight of you that something inside you is released.
𑣲 french lessons I @pilotispunk
You had been in desperate want to learn French, but the absolute droll of learning through a boring app was no fun. Coincidentally, you meet a brilliant gift shop clerk at the museum who can teach you French while you can teach him a thing or two about love.
𑣲 take me, i’m good I @ohcaptains
marc’s lost in egypt. he could do with a helping hand.
𑣲 tear in my heart I @foli-vora
𑣲 steven grant I @writefasttalkevenfaster
Steven was stuck doing inventory yet again in the museum, and you come to pay him a little visit, but inventory is the last thing on your mind (and two others pay you a visit as well)
𑣲 seeing red I @obnoxioussmiley
After loving you in the shadows of Marc and Steven, Jake finally shows himself to protect you.
𑣲 promises I @avatar-of-procrastination
Steven and Marc open another door to the memories. Only this time, it's not theirs.
𑣲 soft dark nothing I @psychedelic-ink
Steven's been suffering from nightmares for a while now, you should've known better than to startle him awake.
𑣲 relatively alright I @moonknightly
𑣲 medicine I @soonknight
𑣲 request I @runa-falls
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taylorswiftmicrofic · 6 months ago
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June 29 – tragedy
Inspired by So Long London Rules & FAQs
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wistfulenchantress · 8 months ago
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here it isss
what in the starchaser is so long london
give me a bit and i will elaborate with a one shot
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