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acefaun · 3 years ago

Note

Omg, its good to see that there are people who love Starcrossed Myth because sadly, there are hardly any dabbles or imagines of the gods on here. I've been a fan since forever! This is going to be a weird request but what if the gods encounter a devil hunter mc thay works directly with the Devil May Cry crew. (If you dont know what Devil May Cry is look it up because it's a great series!)

Devil May Cry/Zodiac Gods

Synopsis: Mashup between the anime Devil May Cry and SCM. The reader is the demon hunter partner of Dante, intent on slaying the devilish gods of the Zodiac- before they realize those demons are actually gods.

✨Masterlist✨

Gender-neutral, devil-hunter goldfish! Warning: violence, blood

A/N: This is not a weird request, I absolutely love it! I'm sorry it took so long but I had to do my research on this very interesting man. So, I went look it up, and I watched the anime all in one wonderful day, and I fell in love with Dante. He looks like a strawberry sundae himself if you get me. 😅 And then, of course, I had to read some fanfics on him because I got hooked. You just gave me a new member for my anime harem. On another note, there's definitely a severe lacking of StarCrossed Myth fics and fanart and we're here to fix that! We need any and all of the fics and arts!

--Word Count: 3360--

(1st Person POV)

"I've seen them with my own two eyes! They just vanish out of thin air and disappear! Humans can't do that! They have to be demons! Something bad always happens when they're around... Car accidents, people getting mysteriously hurt, I've seen people almost die! Please, you have to help!"

I stared intently at the woman standing before us in the Devil May Cry office. Dante didn't look like he was about to say anything, so I stood with a sigh and nodded my head. "We'll check it out. You said these sightings have been happening throughout the city?"

"Hold on, I didn't say we were doing anything," Dante argued from where he was sitting with his legs propped up on his desk.

But of course, I didn't listen. I gestured for the woman to continue speaking. "Yes. Though... there's more. There have been fights in front of my diner lately but I suppose all of those troublemakers are being scared off by these demons. I'm even starting to lose business. I'll pay you for your trouble- if you can get these demons away from my business!"

I hummed in acknowledgment. "Of course. That's where we'll start our investigation. Thank you."

"I said hold on a minute, hot-shot." Dante was on his feet as soon as the woman left with my reassurances that we would help her. "You don't even know what you're getting yourself into this time."

I quirked an eyebrow at his words. "What? You're not coming?" He grumbled quietly and I took that as a no. But I grabbed a sword off of the wall as well as a pistol that I made sure was loaded as I holstered it onto my belt. "You don't have to. Lady or Trish would gladly split the profit with me instead."

"Damn, brat." He huffed, obviously not wanting to actually do anything, but he relented, "I'll go with you. But just to make sure you don't get yourself killed." Grabbing his usual weapons, he brushed past me, heading out into the city. I adjusted the gloves on my hands as I followed behind him, ready for a good fight.

As it turned out, we wouldn't be getting a fight right away. I sat beside Dante as he practically made himself at home, feasting on their strawberry sundaes while we watched from a window. At the speed things were going, Dante was bound to eat our pay just sitting there.

The woman described the demons to look like humans but they dressed differently. They wore uniforms of white and gold, with black accents. I didn't understand why they would want to stick out so much, but that would make it easier to locate them once they appeared, so I kept my eyes peeled on the streets.

"There." I flinched as Dante nudged my arm, abandoning our booth. It was just a glimpse, but he was right. Our demon had appeared, walking out of an alleyway and into the city. My eyes narrowed on our target before I chased after Dante, running out of the diner. Pausing at the street corner, I peered over Dante's shoulder, eying the human-looking demon. Just looking at him, I could sense inhuman power coming from him. That was ironically just how I met Dante, I perceived him as a threat when I first labeled him as a demon only to find out he was half-demon and half-human. "Hey, hot-shot, are you picking anything up now?"

I nodded my head definitively. "He has unnatural powers. Definitely not human. But he doesn't look threatening... Something's strange with this one."

Usually, when a demon was doing something strange, we would be able to tell, but he wasn't doing anything aside from standing there, his powers appearing dormant. However, we were both shocked when the man snapped his fingers, causing a car to run a red light, the breaks obviously not working as it was heading straight for a human. "(Name), take that demon!"

Before he could give the order, I was rushing out with my weapons just as he had taken off to save that human from getting hit by the speeding vehicle. The demon who tried to cause the accident was clearly surprised that someone interfered with his plan, but he was especially surprised when he spotted me headed straight for him with a sword and a gun in my hands. "You're going to die today!" I fired my weapon, hitting him once in the chest before he dodged my other shots. I was surprised at how swift he was, even with an injury like the one I gave him.

"Stupid, human filth!" I didn't have time to turn or avoid the incoming attack from my right. A man with black hair kicked my ribs, sending me flying into the nearby brick wall, making me lose grip on my gun.

"(Name)!" I looked up, finding Dante running toward us after having protected the humans around. But my gaze shifted to the two demons in front of me. They were going to snap their fingers again and it instantly connected in my mind that that was how they used their powers. This time, they were likely going to use their powers to vanish, just like the lady at the diner mentioned they could do. "(Name), wait!" Dante shouted as he obviously saw the intent in my eyes. But I couldn't let these demons escape. I would get them to take me right to their demon hive. I would find them at their source.

I didn't hesitate, reaching for the demon that stood just a few feet in front of me. I lunged at him, grasping his wrist just as he snapped, warping the world around me into a completely new setting. I was overcome with an overwhelming feeling of nausea, just barely pushing it down as I registered the otherworldly powers that surrounded me.

"Woah! Hey! A human! Ah! What do I do?!" The demon in front of me screeched, shaking off my hold from his wrist as he stepped away from me uncertainly.

However, it was more than just him and that other demon. There were lots of them in the room and some of them were more powerful than others from what I could tell. I gripped my sword tightly under their intense scrutiny. One of the scarier demons barked, "How could you bring a human here?! Weren't you paying attention to what you were doing?"

The man with black hair that knocked me into the wall before growled, "Tch, this idiot, and their friend interfered with our punishment and started attacking us."

I inhaled slowly, eyeing my targets. If I did this right, I could take them all out with just my sword. But, luckily, Dante always convinced me to take a second pistol with me. Discreetly grabbing my pistol, I drew quickly, firing my weapon dozens of times, as I jumped forward, lunging to bring my sword down through the neck of the demon that stood shocked in front of me. But I did underestimate their powers. The black-haired one was on top of me again, as his fist swiped into the side of my face, sending me reeling in the air from how powerful his strike was. All it took was one unexpected snap and my weapons were gone from my hands and I was stuck suspended in the air as if all gravity just vanished around me. Did demons have that kind of power?

I rubbed my head, taking note of the blood that dribbled from beside my eyebrow. I kicked my feet in the air, struggling every which way in my zero-gravity prison. "Let me down!"

"Let you down?" One with blue hair asked as he stood in front of where I was struggling to escape. "After you shot at us and tried to behead me with your human sword? I don't think that's wise."

"And you're so wise, are you?" I snapped, glaring directly into his eyes, showing no fear. However, I was pleased to see him flinch, thinking it was due to how strong I was being to his face. "It doesn't matter where you vanish to or how far this base of yours is, Dante will find you! Before, he wouldn't have cared as much, but thanks to me he'll find this place in no time and all you demons will be wiped out!" I grinned, looking half-mad with the blood dripping from my face. "I'm the wise one here! My partner's going to be merciless! You're right to be afraid! Fear me!"

The blond demon hummed uncomfortably. "I think Scorpio hit them in the head too hard."

The devil with blue eyes before me peered at me with soft eyes before speaking quietly, "They have stars in their eyes."

"What? That's not-" The orange-haired man paused, staring strangely at me before a frown erupted across his face. "A reborn goddess." My vision blurred as he touched the side of my head, causing me to wince. I grabbed for his arm, but my hold was too weak to push him away and he sighed. "Yeah, they were hit in the head too hard. We'll take care of you later. We have other things to deal with." I couldn't stop him as he snapped his fingers, making the world around me spin and go dark.

I was frustrated by the time I was finally able to open my eyes. I wasn't able to wake up until whatever he did to me wore off, but when I finally woke up I realized my head wasn't hurting and I was cleaned of blood. However, instead of levitating in the air, I found that my hands were tied together as well as my ankles. They were pretty intent on me not being able to move so much. My eyebrows furrowed together in frustration. Demons wouldn't take care of me like that, but at the same time, it couldn't have been Dante to rescue me or anything. Nothing added up.

But I overheard voices and realized that I wasn't alone in the room. It was the very demons who tied me up... but why? To hold me as leverage against Dante? It wouldn't have been the first time someone's tried that in a fight, but these guys were straight-up weird. Upon getting called out on being awake, I remained dead silent as they tried to address me, even going as far as introducing everyone in the room while I refused to speak. They were so human, and acted so friendly I found myself wondering what they were. They were obviously harming humans, so what was their goal here? Gazing warily between these strangers, I asked boldly, "What is your purpose here in the human world? Why are you here?"

Leon looked away from me, bored with my first questions to them. "That should be obvious. My department grants the wishes of humans, those other guys punish humans." The way he explained it was short but I understood immediately. He was wearing all white and gold which let me know that those in those colors were wish-granting demons and those with the black accents were human-punishing demons. Both sounded equally heinous in terms of how the humans would likely end up. It wasn't like we hadn't already dealt with a demon that granted human wishes, only to grant their worst wishes of wanting another human dead. Did these demons do the same thing? It only left me with more questions.

There were demons like Dante, Trish, and Bradley who all had something to love about the human world, and they protected the humans that lived in it. Then there were demons that openly harmed humans. But these demons... weren't like any I've met before. I didn't understand. "But what's your goal? What are you trying to accomplish by hurting humans like this?!" If I was going to be their prisoner, then the least I could do was get answers for Dante.

"Hurting humans? You misunderstand our jobs here," Huedhaut replied with a cocked head as if he were the one confused by my lack of understanding.

"You're not helping them," I pointed out with a glare. "We've dealt with demons like you before. Claiming to help humans by granting a wish of theirs. We're not stupid."

"I see," Zyglavis said, his eyes focusing on me after understanding my position. Though, his face was still as stern as ever as he explained, "We're not demons. We're Gods. It's our job to ensure the well-being of humanity."

I let out a breathy chuckle, barely offering a smile as I spoke, "Right, and I'm an angel. Listen here, I'm a well-trained devil hunter. I have a special skill-set that allows me to detect other-worldly power. It's how I got into the Devil May Cry agency. You can tell me all the lies you want, I can feel your dark power festering."

The explanation of my powers was interesting to them, but there was also some understanding there. Huedhaut was gracious enough to tell me why everyone wasn't surprised by the power I had, "Those powers of yours, I can tell you where they came from. You have stars in your eyes, as we've said before. They distinguish you as a particular goddess in your past life. They most likely are what manifested that power in you. However, our powers aren't dark or evil. Would you like to see further?"

Before I could reject his frightening offer, he snapped his fingers and I was overcome with a new sensation. It was similar to the feeling I usually got when around a creature from another world, but this was too different. It felt so light and refreshing compared to the dark powers I was used to feeling on Earth. These guys were telling me the truth. My mouth was almost dropped open as I muttered, "Oh my god... I tried to kill gods..." Before they could reassure me that it was okay, I was already on my knees. "I'm so, so, so, sorry. Oh my god, I'm going to hell for this. I'm so sorry. I actually shot gods..."

"(Name)!" My eyes flitted up to meet Karno's as he grabbed my arms and lifted me off of the ground so I wasn't on the floor. "Listen, you're not going to hell. You were doing your job on Earth, protecting humans with your friends. We respect that and now that you know we're also protecting humans, you can respect our jobs as well, right? Even the Department of Punishments who punish bad humans without killing them?" I nodded my head frantically, not going to say otherwise. I definitely wasn't going to get in the way of their godly duty. It was probably like karma, the gods took care of human order on Earth. "Good," He smiled, pleased with my understanding, "Now that we understand each other, I think it would be beneficial to keep you on our radar. What do you say? Do you think Devil May Cry would be up to taking jobs requests from gods?"

My heart fluttered at the thought of working with actual gods and I quickly nodded my head. "We'll take jobs! Um... What exactly does this mean for me though? I mean, the whole stars in my eyes and knowing you're gods thing..."

Dui ruffled my hair affectionately and answered, "Don't worry too much about that. You're still just a goldfish to us, a powerful goldfish... But it'll be easier for you to help us and for us to help you in the future now that we know about each other. Don't you think?"

"Yeah!" Ichthys exclaimed, nudging me from behind excitedly, "We get to work with our own personal ex-goddess! Even though you shot me... and tried to kill us..." Despite my loud attempts to apologize for doing that, he continued anyway, "Earth just got really fun today!"

"Hey," Krioff pointed out with a confused face, "Shouldn't we give them back to that devil-hunter demon? He's looking all over that city for them."

Karno nodded his head in realization, "Right. We'll have to explain our missions some other time then. We should be getting you home, (Name)."

I nodded my head, my actions slow as Leon was the one to snap his fingers before Karno could even remove the ropes from my arms. The world spun around me, reminding me exactly of the trip to the gods' home. Only, this time, I didn't land on solid ground. I was suspended in the air for a moment, before I came crashing down, landing on- well, it wasn't the floor.

The person I landed on groaned, not shoving me off of them right away. But there was more than one person in the room as they laughed and said, "Well, it seems like your search doesn't have to go much farther."

My eyes flitted up, landing on the speaker and I excitedly labeled him, "Morrison!"

Lady and Trish also shared a laugh at my actions, which I didn't understand why, until a voice beneath me, grumbled, "Get off, or I'm going to throw you to the floor where you should have landed."

"Dante, you're here!" I looked down at him for a moment before scrambling to get off of him, sitting on the floor.

Sitting up, I finally realized the anger that was on his face, making my own expression fall. Catching sight of the rope around my wrists and ankles, he began to fuss at me while he cut them off with his sword. "What the hell were you thinking?! I told you to wait, not to grab those freaking demons and disappear with them! I searched the area for hours, having to come back here and get them to help me find you! You're not even- I'm your partner! You're supposed to listen to me when I tell you not to do something! Do you want to die?! I wouldn't have been there to save you! You had no idea what you were getting yourself into, just like I told you when you recklessly accepted that stupid job!"

He was still lecturing me in anger when I quietly interrupted him, "You were really worried about me, huh...?"

Dante paused at that and stood to his feet with the biggest pout on his face. "I wasn't. I knew my partner could take care of themselves. I'm not stupid like you are, reckless idiot."

Trish commented with a roll of her eyes, putting her sunglasses back on. "Parties over, I guess. Call us in when you have a real mission for us, Dante." The three teased him mercilessly over how worried he was for me as they left us alone in the Devil May Cry office.

Back on my feet, I waved my hands innocently as I claimed, "Well, I did get our job done without killing demons and instead, making a deal with some pretty scary Gods. So... mission complete?"

His eyes narrowed on me and he sighed in exasperation. "You're a weird freaking partner. But, whatever. You got the job done and made it back without dying, so... good job." As an expression of his praise, he ruffled my hair much to my disgruntlement. "But if you ever pull something stupid like that again, I'll kill you myself, got it?"

I grinned at my partner's usual antics. "You got it, partner! Man, I can't wait to tell you what happened! You're going to be so jealous."

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oh-for-fic-sake · 5 years ago

Text

Admiring the view

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult content +18 only!, smut, fluff , slight angst, window sex, bitches being bitchy,posessive male

A/n:Enjoyed writing this let me know what you think, im trying desperatly to keep bruce in character any way enjoy xxx

You and Bruce plan to meet for lunch at the tower thats if your let into the building.

Admiring The View

Bruce sat tapping a foot impatiently under the desk as the man in front of him drolled on about a 'funny thing that happened at golf last week' that wasn't actually that funny or interesting. But being the perfect business man that he is he still managed to force a laugh looking invested into the story that was meant to butter him up. The man Mr Fells owner of a computer parts manufacturer was tying to get in his good graces so Bruce would loan him an extortionate some money to start another company as his current one sunk into bankruptcy after being sued. The man had effectively stolen a whole generation of employee's pension's counting the money they paid in as profits and had been spent on Mr Fell's new yacht . It was a nice boat, he might buy it off of the man when he becomes bankrupt. He smirked at that. When the time came for his employees to retire they found they couldn't withdraw anything and was in the middle of a court battle. Bruce was not going to give this man a cent not that the greasy old fuck knew that yet. He fished in his pocket checking his phone for what seemed the hundredth time. He smiled when he saw the text he'd been awaiting all day from you.

-Just got off the bus, be there in five xx

"Sorry am I keeping you from something Bruce?" The man asked as Bruce locked his phone leaving it on his desk.

"Well I do have another appointment in about 5 minutes so I'm going to have to ask you to leave it there, I will have a decision for you in the next few days, I will have Mary phone you." He said still standing behind the desk, really he wanted to tell the man that he could go fuck himself, call him a sleaze ball and tell him that he wasn't getting anything.But that was bad business. Bruce followed him to the door shaking hands with him as he entered the elevator. His face dropped once the doors closed and he walked back across the large waiting area.

"Still trying to screw you over then?" His secretary Mary called out to him, a woman in her late thirties that he was glad to have her around she was laid back more friend than employee which made people gossip, trying to make up an 'office romance' despite her being happily married to a lovely woman named Chelsea he smiled.

"Yeah seems more now ,he's desperate find out whats happened would you? And in the next few days phone him up and tell him to fuck off." He replied

"I will ring and inform him that Wayne enterprises has decided to decline an investment into his new venture.... unless I'm allowed to actually tell him to fuck off? if that's the case give me ten minutes I'll go down and do it now face to face" She laughed he rolled his eyes.

"Maybe option one is more appropriate, option two can be the back up."

"Build my hopes and tear me down why don't you and I'm glad that your finally throwing him out, if I have to have to sit here and listen to his misogynistic prattle I will kill him Bruce, and don't think I'm joking either I know were I'd dump the body, I've had fantasies."

"Oh really? didn't think he was your type" he said teasingly

"You know what I meant"

"There nothing else on today?" He said chuckling a little approaching her behind the desk peaking at her screen she gave him a look over her thick 'boho' glasses then sighed

"No not that I can see" he nodded patting her shoulder

"Tell you what pack up and have the rest of the day to yourself . Think of it as an apology for having to put up with Mr Fells in here today" she smiled slyly leaning back.

"Really? You sure its got nothing to do with your visitor?" She asked teasingly he turned back and leaned over her screen knowing that notes from the main front desk came up to her directly.

"What is y/n here already?" Then stopped as she laughed out loud.

" caught you so you are waiting for someone? But you never bring them here so she must be something special. Tell me has someone managed to tame the king of Gotham himself? The great Bruce Wayne?" He pulled back crossing his arms trying to look stern before cracking a grin as she continued to smile at him cheekily.

"You could say that. Stay and meet her with any luck you'll be seeing more of her."

"You know what I think I will."

"shes taking a while tho better phone her, in case shes got herself lost."

Meanwhile

You pressed the bell for the bus to stop walking off as it pulled up to the bus stop texting Bruce that you were nearly there. You looked up at the tall building peaking between the others as it towered over the city. Today you finished early and Bruce had invited you to lunch, telling you that Alfred would pick you up. You declined stating that you paid for a yearly bus ticket and you'd bloody well get your moneys worth. You were excited you'd never been to this part of the city before and was looking forward to being shown 'the tower' as Bruce called it. Well more so looking forward to seeing the view of Gotham from soo high up. You smiled quickly crossing the road and followed the crowds of people down to the huge building.

Hesitating feeling almost under dressedas everyone walked around in there expensive suits you glanced down at your black leggings and button up slightly over sized blouse with small foxes on it and scuffed flats. You walked in to the huge lobby not entirely sure where to go, feeling a few of the people stealing glances at you security included eyeing you carefully as you looked around then decided to pull out your phone to text Bruce looking down concentrating you jumped when you were approached by security.

"Miss can I help you? Are you lost?" You smiled up at him

"Oh no, well I suppose I am, I'm just not sure where to go. Not been here before" you ended with a chuckle he nodded eyeing you up and down suspiciously

"If you go over there you can check in and find out where you need to be." He said pointing to a long black polished welcome desk with immaculate women sitting behind it. You smiled thanking him making your way over to them, you felt them watch you as you took uneasy steps to the desk. The two large security guards hovered close to you wandering around instead of returning to the main doors where they had been originally. A pretty brunette faced you faltering then smiled.

"Hello can I take your name?"

"Err y/n Cooke?" She smiled typing into the system then frowned obviously not finding you she typed away for a few moments clicking here and there then sighed eyeing you up and down.

"Ok.. if you could just take a seat over there." Pointing to a row of leather sofas in front of them. You watched as she whispered to a colleague and walked through a small hidden door leading out into the lobby she stood in front of you.

"Can I ask what you came here for today? Your not on the system." You nodded

"Bruce invited me this morning , he is finishing early and wanted to show me around." You said naively waving your phone at her she nodded sighing.

"I suppose this 'Bruce' happens to be Mr Wayne? I'm going to have to ask you to leave the grounds." You frowned as her not following.

"What? He really did ask me to come over. We're going out tonight you can ask him if you dont believe me" You said she looked at you pitifully before scoffing her face turned mean nodding to the two guards.

"Honestly you fan girls never cease to amaze me. Each one as delusional as the last, tho you more so, you really expect me to believe that someone like you is going out with Mr Wayne, sorry but I don't see him as a man who scrapes the bottom of the barrel."you gasped as her words cut into you she smirked.

" Your wasting my time,some of us in the real world actually have work to do. Get a grip what ever fantasy your living in isn't real, any relationship you think you might have doesn't exists. You think your the first woman to come in and try to Pass yourself of as a client to get into his office? No there have been many. Now I think you should leave before I call security and cause a scene. And from one woman to another get some help. This isn't healthy." She spat the words out through clenched teeth stepping back and made her way to wards the desk shaking her head as the other women giggled. You sat there for a moment trying desperately not to cry from the verbal beat down she gave you. Unsure why it had upset you so much it could be that you weret prepared for it or maybe that there was a crowd of people to see it. Sniffling back tears finally collecting yourself you rose just as you go to walk out your phone rang a photo of you and Bruce on the screen. You sighed sniffing back tears trying to sound normal held the phone to your ear

"Hi Bruce." You whispered leaning down grabbing your bag and slowly making your way to the door when the two guards began to make their way towards you.

"Hey where are you? You didn't get lost did you I knew I should have sent Alfred."

"No I didn't get lost I..well. something came up." You sniffed feeling the judgmental stares and laughs as you walked out with your head down. Trying to hold back your tears had made your voice higher. You heard him growl down the phone.

"What? What happe- are you crying?" You shook your head sniffing

"N-no dont be silly why would you think that?" you said taking a deep shuddering breath trying not to cry.

"Stop.. where are you whats happened? , y/n I can still hear you moving I said stop." He sounded stern almost angry you hadn't meant to but you did stop moving wiping at your face.

"I can't the guards are following me out, I'm being escorted out"

"What? Why?"

"No its fine... I will see you at the manor tonight"

"No you will not. You will tell me now what happened..... come one sweets what happened talk to me"For some reason that seemed to break the flood gates as tears began rolling down the sides of your face again whimpering.

"Apparently Bruce Wayne doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel." You said bitterly into the phone wiping at your eyes sniffing as more tears fell you were so embarrassed you could hear the receptionist still laughing with her colleagues. Bruce was silent you took it as a sign to continue.

"She was just rude, said some nasty things ,she didnt believe that I was here to see you, then called security...its fine. I will just go"

"What did she say? And dont you lie to me" he growled you almost hear him his jaw clench.

"Bruce-"

"Tell me!" He was angry and sounded almost worried.

" That I'm delusional...that we dont have a relationship, you couldnt possibly be with someone like me as that means youd be scraping the bottom of the barrel." You waited for a reply he growled then bellowed down the receiver.

"Who the fuck does she think!- Hold on are you still down stairs? Hang on" He moved the phone away but you still heard him speaking you cringed he sounded angry. Very angry you picked up his shoes tapping quickly across the floor.

"Mary, has a security call been made in the lobby? It has? Cancel it.. now yes. And find out who the fuck is on lobby" You heard the faint sound of elevator doors closing but paid no mind as you looked at the two men came up behind you trying to usher you out.

"I'm on my way now you stay exactly where you are. I mean it don't you dare leave this building, if you let them scared you away there will be hell to pay" he ground out then hung up.You sighed looking into your phone taking a moment to brace yourself before dropping it in your bag zipping it up and slinging it over your shoulder wiping at your eyes. The guard spoke up as you didn't move opting to turn around looking for at the elevators finding them easily as one counted down through the floors from the top. It must have been Bruce. You counted with it for a few breaths if it was him he was already half way down the building.

"Miss your going to have to leave." You snapped your head away and shook your head at them.

"You don't understand-"

"No you don't understand you've been asked to leave"

"And I've also just been ordered to stay put by Bruce" you replied more confident now that you knew Bruce was coming down to get you. Getting a glare he took a threatening step towards you.

"If you don't remove yourself then I'm going to be forced to remove you and press charges of trespassing which will go on your record and you will be banned from all Wayne enterprises owned establishments."

"Well you can try, but I doubt he will let that happen this has been a huge misunderstanding." He sighed at you

"Please don't make me drag you out" you saw the elevator doors open revealing your very pissed off looking boyfriend. You flinched he looked almost scary standing taller, he carried himself... different he looked determined then he locked eyes with you and you froze, that intense gaze made you quiver.

"Well don't say I didn't try to warn you" he frowned at that not noticing the way people parted letting the big boss storm across the lobby uninterrupted. Glancing at him as they all but jumped out of his way not wanting to have that anger directed at them , watching to see what poor soul was gojng to be on the receiving end. Bruce's quick steps and angry aura was quickly drawing the attention of the whole lobby as the small crowd watched Bruce quickly cut across the space. Holy shit he looked incredible.The security guard grabbed your forearm ready to drag you out as Bruce stopped behind him.

"What is going on here?" The man gasped turning around as he heard the sharp edge to Bruce's words. Bruce looked at the hand on your arm and practically snarled posessively

"Is he bothering you love?." The guard stood back dropping your arm as if it had scalded him looking between the two of you as Bruce held out a hand catching your wrist gently.

"Mr Wayne you know this women?" He asked panicked Bruce pulled you to him by your arm looking to see if the guard had left any marks rubbing it gently. He glanced at the shorter man with stern eyes pulling you off to the side putting you behind him a little.

"Well I'd hope so considering she's my girlfriend." You gaped at him not expecting him to be so blunt or loud he was loud enough for those around you to hear. The onlookers did a shitty job of covering there shock as they continued to eavesdrop. You snapped out of it placing a hand on his chest trying to calm him down as he squared up against the man who dared touch you. You felt sorry to the guard he didnt do anything wrong in your eyes.

"Bruce he was just doing his job." he huffed casting a look down at you contemplating.

"Your right love. Could you tell me who told you to escort her out of the building?" he raised a hand in the direction of the welcome desk. You heard the poor man sigh in relief as Bruce cast his icy gaze at the desk pulling you behind him you staggered before he grabbed your waist possessively pulling you beside him tucking you into his body protectivly tracing small circles with his fingers in an attempt to calm you.

"Bruce, just leave it please can we go upstairs" you pleaded quietly to him he frowned

"we will but not yet, who upset you?" he asked waving a hand across the desk motioning to the women.

"Bruce please it wasn't that bad lets go"

"No I'm not leaving until I have a word with her, now you can stall all you want sweets but I'm going to find out who it was. No one treats you like that especially in MY company now are you going to be a good girl and tell me?" you couldn't help the way your pussy fluttered at his words, you'd never seen him this protective before a part of you relished in it wanted more even, this was Bruce the boss. Determined and dominant. He looked devastatingly sexy wound tight standing taller and broader, not bothering to pay any mind to the others whispering around him, you felt safe knowing you were here in the arms of the biggest alpha male in the room. Probably the whole tower. He sighed looking at you from the top of his eyes.

"You wont tell me fine then, I'm a good detective I'm sure I can work it out" he stated simply pulling you the few feet up to the desk all of the women squirmed uneasy under his heavy gaze as he looked across them. The one who had upset you shrunk looking more frightened then the others, she shuddered when Bruce locked onto her.

"Considering how panicked you look I'm assuming you are the one who dealt with Miss Cooke?" he said evenly she looked up slowly nodding. Eyes wide gulping. you couldn't help it as your pussy throbbed and you nipples pebbled as bruces stern voice seemed to dominate the huge lobby ,the once nasty smug woman was now cowering slightly.

"I'd like to know what happened" he ordered in a deep voice your breathing bacame shallow at the sound, she started stuttering a reply.

"W-well Mr Wayne.. I-I took her name and c-couldn't find her on the system, I checked all departments and bookings and she wasn't on there so asked her to wait in the lobby... i-it could have been an error." he nodded understanding that even with the top of the range computers he had there was still room for error mostly human error but it did happen ,he motioned for her to go on.

"Then when I came out to ask here where she was headed.... I'm sorry Mr Wayne I didn't believe her.. she said that she was coming to see you I thought she was another girl trying to sneak past the desk I'm so sorry." she quivered. So did you but not necessarily for the same reason flushing a little not just at the attention you had directed your way but also because of the heat that was building between your legs. It didn't help having his warm hand pressing on the side of your waist low enough that it cupped the swell of your hip the heal of his hand covering the top of your ass. you shifted from one foot to the other trying to relieve some of the ache as your movement rubbed your swollen clit between your lips.oh fuck.

"Tell me what are you supposed to do when someone comes in asking for me personally? I'm sure that it was covered in your training" he asked with a heavy tone. You whined in your throat hearing the thick stern voice carry throught the lobby, which had become very quiet. He massaged his fingers into your side letting you mnow he had heard you flushed brighter. She cleared her throat.

"Er-erm we are supposed to message Mary on your floor." she answered wishing the floor could swallow her up.

"Yes but instead you decided to make derogatory remarks to her and embarrass her before having her thrown out. Why is that?" he said making her gulp as she stood pin straight shaking a little fully prepaird to be sacked on the spot he didn't give the woman a chance to reply.

"Tell me what was the comment about me scraping the bottom of the barrel? Or how about you tell me why i couldnt possibly be with a beautiful woman such as her? Or you could explain to me when it became apropriate for you to call my geusts delusional? do you think that is the type of professionalism people expect to find here? that this is the type of people I want representing my company on any level least of all the front line? " he snapped out at her you grasped his blazer.

"Bruce enough,, its done ok? its done please?" he looked from your pleading face to the thoroughly embarrassed woman who looked like she was about to cry. He lifted a hand pulling a tissue from the box on the desk offering it to her, she reached out slowly accepting it. He took a deep breath, part of him wanted to continue. This woman had made you cry, made you feel less than yourself after he'd spent the last few months building up your confidence. But worst of all she made you want to run from him. You had only just stopped questioning your relationship. And this woman had nearly destroyed your new found confidence for no other reason then to make herself look and feel important.

"Go home, take today off tomorrow you will resit the training for this position including the probation period and hopefully you can continue here with a fresh attitude following all protocols, I am not running a school playground I am running a company and this childish bullying has no place here if you dont sort it out your out do I make myself clear." he scolded she used the tissue wiping her eyes nodding

"Yes Mr Wayne" thanking him yet absolutely mortified that she'd been dressed down to such a degree in front of everyone. Bruce satisfied turned walking to the elevators pulling you in along side him, you couldn't help feeling a little sorry for the woman as you took a fleeting glance at her as the doors began to close on the scene catching the gasps as bruce tucked his face into your hair kissing you just befor they shut completely.

"Are you ok now?" he asked stepping closer rubbing your shoulders kissing the back of your neck. you shuddered moaning softly try to contain it you knew you'd failed as he smirked nipping you lightly.

Ooh I think you are? is someone a little worked up?" he wound his arms around your waist tugging you back flush against him slipping a hand between your legs. You moaned rocking into him.

"I've never seen you like that... well only on our second date but you weren't as ... intense you were so sexy.... I think I've got a new fantasy" you summarised he hummed cradling you hiding his face in your neck taking a slow breath before pulling back releasing your mound much to your despair.

"I will see to you in a moment, but I would like to introduce someone to you." he winked making you blush. The doors opened revealing a large modern hall that opened to a medium sized stylish waiting area secretary desk to the left of a heavy looking door with frosted glass paneling the same frosted glass on one side of the door behind the desk A tall woman sat at. she stood up laughing.

"I've got to say Wayne that just made up for my day sitting with Mr Fells."

"You watche dthrough security then?" He asked directing you towarss her she nodded

"The secretaries name is Kirsty Knell, she has a track record of being rude acordjng to the complaints at HR, two major incidents gaining two strikes technically she should be let go as this is her thrid but you've already said for retraining she wont last this probation,she doesn't play well with women it seems. But Ive already sent for her to retrain for the remainder of the week" she said as you both came to a stop befor the desk she come out from behinde the desk holding out a hand

"Hello I'm mary Collins Bruce's secartary" you smiled shaking her hand

"Y/n Cooke ,Bruces..girlfriend nice to meet you" she smiled giving Bruce a playful wink

"Well can I just say he is a lucky man."

"Oh er haha thank you?" you stuttered blushing unsure what to make of the energetic woman.

"Tomorrow phone up Clark for an interview about Y/n I don't care when, book it for at the manor." she nodded at him more interested in watching you.

"Will do.....oh Bruce she's adorable.... Anyway theres a new pass on the desk for her to keep... and thats about it I'm off gonna go surprise the missus at work. See you on Thursday. Make good choices." she left through the still waiting elevator. you stared after her as the doors closed. Bruce laughed picking up the pass and small card that had the companies logo on it.

"This is for you ,it'll get you in and around the building tho after today I doubt anyone is going to stop you again." you took it sliding it into your bag

"Why couldn't you have given me this before?" you cried at him he raised an eyebrow.

"Are you whining? it sounds like your whining, and I was going to give it to you today front desk is meant to message Mary when someone asks to see me" you pouted a little following him into his office. You looked around , it was sleek and modern then you gasped as you spotted the huge floor to ceiling window to the back it had a beautiful view of Gotham... and made you realise you were high..... really high you slowly walked around the chairs and desk dropping your bag on one of the chairs.

"I've never been this high up before." he traced your steps standing behind you as you tentatively touched the cool glas feeling as tho you could fall.

"Sounds like a challenge, are you sure feeling better now?" you rolled your eyes at him when he asked

"Yes I'm fine... cant blame them I mean I'm not what you usually go for.. but you did just reduce her to tears... and it was so hot I've never seen you in boss mode before" he groaned in your ear shifting a little turning you around pushing you against the glass. You trembled as the cool of the glass penetrated your thin blouse.

" I love you" you smiled leaning in kissing him gently then pulled away.

"I love you to" you gasped not noticing him move until his hand cupped you through your leggings again, lifting to your tip toes as he curled a finger slipping it between your needy lips running back and forth across your opening then settled on your clit rolling it hard.

"wow I suppose you really did like that display downstairs your almost flooding your panties, tell me how much did it turn you on when I came down there to put people in there place?" you moaned nodding as his fingers swirled finding your entrance again digging deeper pumping in and out in strong shallow thrusts through your leggings and panties.

"A lot OOHH FUCKBruce we cant,...OOHH God .. Bruuuce your not playing fair." you whined as he continued to play with you knowing just how to toe the line before letting you build to fast.

"Ooohh but baby we can." he whispered against your temple then spinning you he maneuvered you around to face the window pressing your breasts and side of your face on it pulling your hips back securing your arms across the back of your waist as one large hand curled around both crossed forearms. He ground himself against you. You let out a cry trying to wiggle away from him. But just ended up fubbjng your breasts on the cool glass making your nippled impossibly hard.

"Bruce oh my god some one will see!" you admonished at him confused as to why the thought of being caught thrilled you sending a hot rush down you spine setteling in your fluttering lower tummy. He leaned over you brushing his erection against you his chest ghosting your back, letting out a breathy chuckle in your ear before dropping his voice down and octave.

"I know exciting isn't it?" you whined out at him in protest as he rubbed himself across you with descisive strokes teasing you in the way only he knew how

"Bruuuce" you tried again he laughed

"Don't worry sweets we are at least 6 stories above everyone else, you think I'd ever let anyone else see you?"

"YES! of course you would." you yelled unable to stop yourself from grinding back on him he really did laugh at that kissing your neck he noticed that his marks had healed. He tutted couldn't have that now could we?. You squeaked at him when a hand crept up to your throat holding you still as he began kissing your neck, sloppy opened mouthed kisses following licks and bites tugging lightly between his teeth, you closed your eyes tight as your body sung under his ministrations.

"OH-OOHH Bruce pleas-PLEASE fuck." you moaned and withered as he used his hips to stop your movements tucking them under you slightly before thrusting up grinding on your engorged clit nearly taking your weight off your feet.

"AAHH SHIT!" you let out a high keen as he rocked his pelvis side to side his cock rubbing across you through clothes you now wished wasn't there. He pulled back spying the purple mark blossoming on your neck he gave a final lick before moving to stand tall behind you pressing on the dip between your shoulders as you tried to follow him.

"Ah ah not so fast I'm not done with you yet, there was so many things I had planned in here for today... but I'm afraid you will have to settle for a quicky instead...after all I have made lunch reservations." he said as he dragged down your leggings and panties one hand bunched up the blouse that hung over your ass hiding your quivering pussy. Securing it in the hand that held your arms steady he licked his lips as he revealed the juicy plump lips that peaked out from between your thighs. You gasped rubbing your thighs together trying to ease some of the tension you could feel his eyes staring at you. He chuckled enjoying the mewls he cause when he started slapping your thighs untill they parted he undid his zipper pulling himself free before letting your pussy kiss the crown of his cock lightly. You rocked back trying to get him to do ... Somthing anything.

"OH baby is this what you want?" he asked teasing you pressing the head just inside of you just so you felt the first sting of him stretching you before pulling out tapping your clit with it. You sobbed nodding

"I thought you said this was a quicky?" you protested trying to follow him back. Growling aggravated when the hand holding your arms stopped you just shy of him.

"Well You've got me there" that was all the warning you got as he thrust forward bottoming out. You cried in shock as he held still arching his hips up into you forcing you to curve your spine and then some, like always he stretched your walls tight causeing a small sting that always make you quiver around him it sent tingles through your whole body and made your skin prickle, he copied his movement from before tilting up trying to support your weight on his cock only it was embedded within you this time. You moaned in slight pain as the angle had him pressed hard against your cervix. You tense fisting your hands trying to bear your weight down on him wanting more of the addictive pleasure and pain mix. He dropped his hips before thrusting back up holding you high again.

"Or maybe this is what you wanted? I'm going to fuck you and everyone will know your mine, you wont be able to walk straight when we leave thats a promise" he grunted in your ear then began pumping into you slowing building his thrusts into a merciless pace. All you could do was enjoy the ride as he railed you ,panting hard fogging the window with every breath crying and moaning as he used you chasing his own pleasure, his groans were louder as he felt your pussy tensing refusing to let got of him, he couldnt pull out even if he wanted to. You bucked against his pistoning hips feeling your climax building looking down at the peole below you felt yourself spasm arojnd him feeling him throb as his veins caught every nerve inside of you ,when the first tremors shook your body you squirmed that familiar burning heat trickled down into your tummy falling lower and lower as your tummy tensed again and again, he must have felt it as he lowered his hand catching your clit rolling it back and forth. One harsh pinch is all it took for you to fall throwing your head back

"BRUUUCE AH FUCK" you cried high and loud as your body was overcome by bone rattling shudders your pussy spasming around him as you came your pussy ,assaging hjm desperatly trying to milk him it worked as he followed instantly arching his hips up holding still one hand landing on the glass beside you the a loud thump that echoed through the office his deep grunts readched your ears desperate needy as he finished inside of you painting your insides marking it as his and his alone. Both panting he took a few seconds catching his breath then he pulled you back a few steps sitting in his high back chair taking you with him on his lap still nestled inside you, you melted into him as the final tremors ebbed away leavjng you sated and relaxed your head lolling back onto his shoulder, he glanced at the clock on the wall and chuckled

"We missed are reservation.."

"Fuck the reservation" you replied breathlessly still panting hard trying to get your breath back he kissed your shoulder through your blouse.

"Well now I can check that off the list." he said cheerfully groaning as he shifted in his chair releasing your arms rubbing them soothingly as he pulled you up his legs eagerly stuffing more of himself inside of you, you whined at the tenderness that aslway came after being with him.

"List?" you asked now having come back down to earth he nuzzled into your neck humming.

"yeah I have a list of places I want to fuck you in."

"And of course your office is one of them" you laughed weakly his chest rumbled on your back as he growled.

"Not exactly... desk was my first preference, it was the first fantasy I had of you actually... the day we met to be exact" you rolled your eyes

"your unbelievable"

"But I have to admit I've always wanted to try window sex,and mirror sex hey and maybe in the board room god knows I need something to think about to get me through those god awful meetings." you sighed at him

"Something tells me if you had your way we'd fuck in every room in this building"

"Dont tempt me that's not a bad idea" you slapped his thigh lightly

"Its a very bad idea..... imagine the chafing" he let out a belly laugh before leaning forward catching your panties and leggings in one and dragging them over your knees removing himself carefully he pulled them back up patting your bottom

"There we go now how about we get out of here?" he said putting himself back into his trousers zipping them back up you stood taking small steps on shaky legs grabbing the desk as you nearly fell he smirked

"Oh shut up" you said seeing the smug man raise his hands

"Didn't say a word" he held you steady handing you your bag going to the elevator hitting the basement level to the company car park. you sighed leaning against him.

"So where are we going then?" you asked he smoothed the hair away from your neck leaving a kiss on it.

"Home? Tim's coffee machine has been installed so I'd like you to test it before he comes home just to see if it works."

"He got the one we have at work didn't he?"

"yep"

"Why doesn't that surprise me? I'll give it a go but I really would like a shower first" he shook his head pushing you out of the doors to the Aston Martin parked in his spot unlocking it.

"That's a thought I'm gonna fuck you in all my cars to. And your not allowed to have a shower yet, theres somthing about the thought of you at the manor dripping with me all day, tha just uugh it gets me going. You can join me in the shower tonight." you blushed at the thought of him watching you all day arpused knowing how messy he had made you, your pussy throbbed almost painfully.

"O-oh I'm staying over then?" he nodded entering the car you followed

"Yes your staying for a while now that we are going public, and it might be an idea to take a week off, I just want you close until the initial buzz is over." you nodded as he started up the car.

"A-are you ok with all that?" he smiled beaming at you

"Of course I love you and I'm not letting you go your stuck with me I'm afraid. I'm looking forward to being able to show you off, knowing Mary she will phone him today so Clark will probably be in touch within the next few days I would have thought the interview will be Friday or even Saturday. So you'll probably be at the manor for the next 2 weeks or so" he pulled the car out of the car park onto the main road you nodded

"I will tell Jack to go and pack some bags and come over."

"No need I will have Alfred pick him up when he goes to pick up Damien and explain it to him..they can stop at yours on the way home... how do you feel about Jacuzzi sex?" you rolled your eyes

"How did you go from Jack packing bags to pool sex?"

"I thought about telling him not to bother bringing your swimming costume. He and Damien have been swimming lately." you laughed leaning back in the seat shifting whimpering as you felt him seeping onto your panties.

"Are you sure I cant shower when we get back, This is uncomfortable." he gave you a side glance you could see his mind working but he said nothing.

"Ok how about this you let me shower and then we can have Jacuzzi sex tomorrow when the boys are at school?" you reasoned

"Share the shower to save water?"you nodded giggling at his compromise.

"Deal" he agreed way to quickly

"H-HEY! was that a set up?!? you are unbelievable Mr Wayne" he smirked gripping your thigh massaging it with his fingers you pouted.

"Unbelievably good getting shower sex and Jacuzzi sex, fuck yes, three days and three things off my list I'm on a roll." he said pulling of the main road. Honestly this man was always running rings around you.

#bruce wayne x y/n #bruce wayne smut #bruce wayned fic #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne x reader #batman x y/n #batmom imagines #dc x reader #dc x y/n

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uwu-boll · 3 years ago

Text

Yesterday I consumed nearly 4 grams of mushrooms. Here is what that was like for me:

First, this isnt my first rodeo. I've consumed psychedelics a few times before; I wouldnt call myself necessarily experienced but I have an education background in psychopharmacology and I have a couple of trips under my belt already so I knew what to expect and how it was going to feel going into it. 2 months ago. my girlfriend and I purchased 7 grams of mushrooms to split for our anniversary weekend this past week. We purchased a hotel room - I wanted to avoid doing this at home due to a very stressful living situation - and situated our setting so as to be best prepared to go about our experience. This included water, music, videogames, some snacks, etc. The necessities.

Our day started following a night of several shared margaritas and burgers between us. We went swimming, had coffee and a light breakfast, went to therapy together, and then a healthy midday lunch. Following that, we gathered the supplies for the night and settled in at around 3pm. Starting then, I measured out the dosages for the both of us; 2.75g for her, 3.87g for me (the dosages were more or less arbitrary, but we had a ballpark of what kind of experience we were looking for). She ate hers straight up, while I prepared a 'lemon tek'; powdered shrooms soaked in lemon juice for some time. There is some science behind it, but the idea is to shorten the duration or the experience while making it more intense. This also helps with digestion to prevent nausea, although there will still be some present as your body tries to 'reject' the chemical.

My shrooms sat in lemon juice for 20 mins before I tossed them all in orange juice for me to take big gulps of. Disclaimer - I HATE the taste, smell, texture, EVERYTHING about mushrooms. This... isnt necessarily better, but it's the best way to consume them short of capsules, I've found.

3:25 PM: I start drinking my pulpy orange juice - mushroom cocktail. It tastes like sour orange juice, because of the lemon juice I added, but the thought of the mushrooms in there makes me gag before I even get the concoction in my mouth. I can already tell this is going to be an endeavour. I take one big swig, maybe a fifth of the bottle, and approximately a quarter of the dose. I wait about 5 mins before taking another swig

3:35: one more swig, followed by a dab, hoping that the weed will calm my tummy. It does, but not before I nearly puke coughing up a lung

3:45: I finish the cocktail. This whole time I'm watching my girlfriend - who is approximately 15 minutes ahead of me having already dosed - set up the Nintendo switch and design a character on Tony Hawks Pro Skater, the remastered edition. She finishes, we take a dab, and we start playing. We, for some reason, start with a VS game, first to 500,000 points. I dont know why we thought that was a good idea, but we did. From here on, times are approximate.

Approximately 3:50: We are mindlessly skating in complete silence, absolute fixated in this game. I'm pretty high from the dabs as it is, so I'm spacing out and having trouble coordinating.

Approximately 4:00: I'm focused entirely on how gross my stomach feels having drank the cocktail. My body feels heavy, and it's very difficult to coordinate in the game properly.

Approximately 4:15: We are probably 100,000 points into this game before we both realize how long it's going to take before anyone wins. Were both kinda over it, and clearly struggling with performing and we only know it's going to get worse. As the come up begins, I feel a profound sense of anxiety. Recognizing it as the comeup anxiety, I dismiss it, but it's quickly becoming pretty overwhelming. The lemon tek, in shortening and intensifying the experience, creates very powerful come ups. We stop playing THPS and switch to Super Mario 3D World, which makes me feel better

Approximately 4:30: We get through 2 levels before we stop playing for the night. We decide to cuddle and try to calm each other down. We put on Bo Burnham's 'Inside' to listen to while we come up, which was a great idea because we love him. Really got us talking about our pasts and the meanings behind each of his songs. My body is very heavy, but I feel at absolute peace within it - I'm not biting my nails compulsively or shaking my legs - despite the come up anxiety and the slight nausea. I feel attached to the bed, I didnt want to get up even if I had to. I am absolutely CHEESIN, smiling so hard my cheeks still hurt a day later.

Approximately 4:45: I am staring at the wall, looking at what appears to be a pattern overlaying the texture of the wall. I see the same pattern on the bathroom floor. I'm questioning as to whether or not it's really there. I quickly move to the ceiling - a popcorn ceiling - where I am blown away; the lighting in the room makes the ceiling look both purple and green. My pareidolia is going crazy and I see constantly shifting patterns in the white noise that is the popcorn ceiling. The crazy thing is knowing that there is no pattern to the nonsense I am seeing, but making out patterns regardless. I stare at this for awhile. The ceiling is flowing like water.

The exact order of events henceforth are kind of a blur. We lay in bed for the rest of the night, but the topics of discussion vary from point to point, mostly us complimenting each other and praising each other. At some point, Inside ended, and we listened to Hamilton. However, I hardly remember both the end of Inside nor the entirety of Hamilton, and so it's likely that around d approximately 5 oclock, began the Great Existential Breakdown (TM)

At approximately 5 oclock, I was peaking. Emotions were running high, and, in response to being hungry, I had a breakdown because I hated the fact that I was born into a world dominated by cruelty, inhumanity, and the insatiable drive for profit. I hated that I lived in a world where something as simple as hunger was a problem, and that food - a human right - is commodified. I hated that consumption was obligatory, and that to feed the endless gluttony that is the human need to consume, we exploit both our fellow humans, and the planet. I hated that in that obligatory need to consume, weve facilitated this social climate in which it's okay to pollute our world and exploit the human labor condition so as long as its convenient to the consumer and profitable to the corporation. (Now that I think about it, this may have been spurned by Bo Burnhams 'That Funny Feeling', which I feel like is his most powerful song on the album. ) This quickly evolved into how being born, and forced into a world without your consent where conditions like this exist in the first place is inherently a violent act, and that having children is immoral until we create an environment where those conditions are obsolete. Then to how bullshit it is that I am forced to take care of a meatsuit for the whole of my life, but I have to pay to upkeep all of it as if i had some choice in the matter. This lead to me talking about how I wanted to be a transient observer of the universe, untethered to any physical point in space. Not quite dead, not quite alive - still able to see things happen, but not be able to participate. I then went on to say how I didnt think suicide was the answer to my problems because that doesnt necessarily get rid of the conditions that lead to my despair, but rather creates new problems for my loved ones. I knew that the key was to live in despite of the despair and to continue on in search of my own personal meaning.

This breakdown lasted approximately 3 hours and was very emotional for both of us. We spent a lot of time crying and talking about stuff weve never spoken about before. The comedown was very gentle and helped me feel very cathartic and relaxed. Over the course of the comedown I took several dabs, a few of which brought me back to 'The Wonky Space' (TM). However, this was short lived. My girlfriend sat in the tub naked from the waist down, which quickly turned into a bath, and from there, after my breakdown, we started to relax, watch some Shameless, went downstairs, got some snacks, some drinks, and went to bed.

Before I fell asleep, and once I knew the experience was 100% over, I took some time to reflect and felt very satisfied with what happened. It wasnt at all what I expected the night to be, but I felt like I needed to do that, and experience that kind of existential pain. I felt very relaxed once I got control of my body again, and that peace - the general sense of wellbeing, happiness, lack of anxiety, connectivity to my partner and my fellow man - has persisted well into the next day, and will likely continue for at least the next week. 10/10 would do again.

Would I say I had a bad trip? No. Was it a good one? N...no. but I had a great time, it was fun, and enlightening, and helped me realize where I feel like I am struggling mentally.

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xaidyl · 4 years ago

Note

You could explain individual stuff! I find these explanations very fascinating, actually! OwO

okay! lets do this (this may be a very long post with lots of my random opinions but we’ll go with it) (and also please bear in mind these are jokey and in no real way a representation of these real people with real actual lives.)

***spoilers for most D20 seasons with this cast***

1.The babysitting

Actual parent:Brennan

From my experience DMing, you are effectively a parent to the players. He would also be an excellent dad

Wine aunt: Siobhan

Siobhan gives me vibes of someone who would take a bottle of wine to go babysit, then sit and tell the kids stuff about cults that they weren’t meant to hear. She would definitely teach the kids swear words, and they would love their cool auntie

Great at babysitting: Lou

Part of the key to babysitting is being relatable to the kids, but also self assured enough to get them to behave. the person who holds that key is Lou Wilson. He also has played dad-energy characters, and that is the kind of vibes that you look for in a babysitter.

Mediocre at babysitting: Murph

This scenario needs some theatre of the mind. Imagine Murph, he’s read all the babysitting books, he knows everything he could need to know, he lives with Emily Axeford. He’s more than prepared for this task. He tries so hard. The kids love him. The kids also walk all over him. They don’t get to bed in time. He wanted to do a good job. He tried so hard to do a good job. Yet somehow, luck is against him.

The house is on fire, God is dead: Emily

Fig. Sofia. Jet. All three of these characters would set a house on fire without hesitation, and not one fears God. What does this have to do with Emily’s babysitting ability? Well, all these characters are teaching us to be chaotic beings, just like Emily. We are the children, and D20 is our babysitter. Emily would only replicate the same thing in this babysitting scenario.

The children: Zac and Ally

I believe it was episode 9 of the unsleeping city. Neither Zac nor Ally were involved in the scene in question. Siobhan makes a reference to Eliza Doolittle, to which Zac makes a Dr Doolittle joke. Beardsley then shouts ‘I can see my dick’, a reference to a different film. This is fairly normal behaviour, and would not make either of them children in this scenario, had they not continued to hysterically laugh for the next ten minutes or so. Sat at opposite sides of the table. I think Zac starts crying at some point. They are absolute children, and also both have strong baby energy. Neither babysit, they are the ones that need babysitting.

2. Can they be killed?

Cannot be killed: Brennan

The man is a God. Enough said. Also I’m pretty sure your body would reject your soul before it allows you to kill him.

Can only be killed by one thing: Siobhan

You would be tricked into thinking Siobhan would be easy to kill- her constitution score is so low, after all. However, you would be wrong. The low constitution score has only made her stronger. More aware. What is the one thing that can kill her, though? Nobody knows, she’s only told those she truly trusts. It could be the most rare poison in the world. Or it could just be Mike Trapp. He (allegedly) has previous.

Can be killed but it won’t last: Emily

It is not anything to do with Emily that her death won’t last. In fact, Emily would be pretty easy to kill. However, if you kill her, Murph will do everything in his power to bring her back. He travels to the end of the earth, and then Emily Axeford is back and gets her new death date in a fancy gothic necklace.

Can be killed but at what cost?: Lou

What cost? The cost to the world. The world would be significantly worse off. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. It’s not worth it.

Can be killed but it’s not worth it: Murph

It’s not worth killing Murph because you would have precisely 0.7 seconds before you were killed by Emily. There is no way you can profit from this scenario, you would be dead before you even realise you’ve been successful.

Can be killed and it would be pretty funny: Zac

I feel like we don’t discus the correlation between Zac Oyama characters and dying enough. Gorgug was the first D20 death. Lapain was the first D20 perma death. Ricky just like had a weapon that causes him to die. If you killed Zac, it would just be funny because its happened so much. Sorry Zac.

Can be killed but why would you, you monster?!?!: Ally

We’ve already discussed this. Beardsley is Baby. Leave them alone.

Please kill them they suck: Box of Doom

I dont trust them

3. The fitness gram pacer test

this is definitely the most controversial of the charts, but there’s three of things you need to understand about my reasoning.

1. Zac is fast at running

This has been seen a couple of times, namely: adventuring party, where Zac tried to tease Brennan about showing off how fast he his at running, but it turns out it was just Zac speaking his mind, and he is the one who always shows off at how fast he is at running. Also, the video on Siobhan’s instagram of Zac jumping over that table.

He is also very bad a squats. Why would you be bad at squats? Bad knees. Why would you get bad knees? Running without sufficient warm up. Why would you skip warm up? Because you are very focussed on being able to run fast.

2. Zac is willing to defend his title of running fast

The way he accused Brennan on adventuring party, he knew what he was doing. Sabotage. Brennan may also be able to run fast, but Zac would prevent him from getting a good score. How? He has his ways. Zac is a good boy, but not when it comes to running fast.

3. I felt bad

I had to give Zac at least one good one :)

Anyways onto the other choices:

Actually tried and got a low score: Brennan, Murph, Siobhan

We’ve already spoken about how Zac sabotaged Brennan to be the best at running. Murph is here because he would try really hard but something unlucky would happen. His shoelaces come untied. He accidentally gets caught in the Zac/Brennan feud.

Siobhan started off with the intention to try, but after Lou, Emily and Ally had all done, she realised they were in fact much more interesting than the fighting going on. She walks out mid lap

Didn’t try, got a low score, doesn’t give a shit: Lou and Emily

Its important to understand that both Lou and Emily are capable of getting a high score, they are just better than the whole thing. Why is their DnD group doing a pacer test? Why did Zac suspiciously force them to do this whole thing?

The difference between them is Lou knows the feud is stupid and has like actual work to do? He sits and auditions for some other big film. He still watches over his laptop.

Emily however, simply wants to watch the world burn.

Despite their different approaches to the situation, they both have a bet going on who’s going to be the fastest runner.

Ran one singular lap and finished: Ally

Ally Beardsley shows up at the track wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt that is impracticable to run in. They have a llama with them. At no point do they explain this. They walk round the track once, drink their water from a plant pot, then spend the rest of the time cheering on the others with words that don’t quite make sense.

4. Storming Area 51

They cant stop us all: Zac and Brennan

Neither mean it maliciously, but both believe entirely in what they are saying.

Brennan is definitely the guy to go mad over a conspiracy theory. He made all the crown of candy NPCs. He is basically betraying himself. He knows not to trust anyone. He doesn’t trust area 51. The next season of dimension 20 is this as a subliminal messages all the way through.

Zac says it accidentally. He’s making a character for the charity livestream. He’s still got a hundred hours of character making left. He’s done so many bad squats. Unintentionally, he makes a character that forces all the zesbians to storm area 51.

Have fun getting shot, dumbasses: Lou

The rest of the cast are being weird again. Lou is equally as capable of being weird, but sometimes they need to chill. It starts with Emily talking about diner ice. It finishes with Brennan wearing a foil hat at all times.

You guys stop, someones actually gonna do it: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy.

Actually shows up: Emily and Siobhan

They ride a motorcycle there together. They wouldn’t have gone alone, but as a duo they are an unstoppable pair. Emily wants to break into a government facility. Siobhan desperately want to be in the real life x-files.

One of the Aliens: Ally

Emily and Siobhan open a door at area 51. Behind it is Ally Beardsley. They are wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt. They have a llama standing behind them. This is not explained at any point. They drink from a flower pot and eat a quesadilla that appears out of nowhere.

5. Stabbing

Would never stab anyone: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy

Would stab in retaliation: Lou, Murph, Zac

Lets be honest, the entirety of a crown of candy so far has been these three taking stabs (or metaphorical ‘where is your bulb now’ stabs) as retaliation for a stab another one of these three had done.

Yells “I won’t hesitate bitch” first: Ally and Siobhan

I can’t really explain this one much more other than i’m pretty sure both these people have said this phrase at least once in their life.

Would stab as a warning: Emily

This would be promptly followed by Murph getting her to stop stabbing. Or, depending on the situation, encouraging her to keep stabbing.

6. The water fountain

Fills up a bottle and drinks from it: Lou and Siobhan

This is the normal way to drink from the water fountain. They were also both very concerned at watching Beardsley’s various different drinking apparatuses in adventuring party.

Bought 4 water bottles so this wouldn’t happen: Murph

He is prepared. Something probably still goes wrong, but at least he’s got three water bottles left.

Drinks straight from the tap: Brennan

Brennan is a busy guy. The tap is there, it’s convenient, he needs to get back to planning. There’s so many campaigns, so many characters, so many voices.

Dehydrates: Zac

Honestly I’m not sure if this man would drink water if nobody told him so

Drinks from a puddle: Ally

like they drink from a vase with a flower, a puddle really isn’t that much of a stretch.

Licks the tap: Emily

She just wants to see the world burn. Also, she knows Brennan drinks straight from the tap. She has to get payback somehow.

7. A child starts crying

Makes the child laugh: Lou

We’ve already discussed how Lou has dad energy. I feel like he’s know exactly what to say and how to act to get the child to stop crying. This is less stupid than the rest of my explanations, but I always love how expressive Lou is when he plays dnd. I’m not sure whether its the way he holds himself or the way he gestures, but I’m pretty sure if I was a crying child, I would stop crying if Lou Wilson told me a joke in that very soothing point.

Tries to play with the child: Siobhan and Ally

These two kinda give me older/younger sibling vibes. As a team I recon they could create a game that would calm this child down. Also Ally knows techniques to help adults calm down, they could probably implement these ideas into a game for children.

Gives detailed instructions: Murph

His knowledge comes from the books he has read to learn how to babysit, and the one time he babysat. His explanation is rather frantic however, mostly because he is trying to defend Emily in his answer.

Cries with the child: Zac

He’s sad because all his friends are speaking to this child an nobody noticed how fast he just ran.

He’s also baby, as we’ve said previously, so he probably relates to the child somewhat

The reason the child is crying: Emily and Brennan

The child just watched episode 9 of a crown of candy.

#long post #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #a crown of candy #fantasy high

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nahimjustfeelingit-writes · 5 years ago

Text

Imagine:

Reader working in retail dealing with a rude customer and Erik is a regular who steps in to put the customer in their place.

“Who the fuck is the manager for this place?”

An angry white woman with thin brunette hair wearing a floral blouse with navy blue slacks marches into a thrift record and book store located in Soho. She had an old record in her hand; a Hall and Oates classic. Looking around with beady angry eyes, she presses her thin chapped lips into a hard line.

“Hellloooo?!!! I said who is the got damn manager of this dump?!!”

Y/N, the manager in question, was ringing up a few customers, wishing them a good day before closing her register. She heard the loud woman loud and clear. Y/N had dealt with this same woman and her daughter on plenty of occasions but they still decided to show their faces. If you had a problem with the thrift store why continue to come back? She wasn’t going to entertain them today.

“Y/N, you want me to call the police?” Y/N’s cousin, Layla, came into the thrifted shop to help every now and then.

“No, it’s cool. I can deal with it. Just get the bat ready just in case I gotta crack some skulls open.”

Clearly, the woman and her daughter didn’t know who they were messing with. Y/N is skilled in jujitsu and she could swing a bat at your ass like you were a baseball. She had to do that to some drunk man one evening who thought he would come in and rob her.

“How about that African stick that Erik got for you? The Nguni stick?”

A sly smirk slid across her face at the mention of his name. Erik Stevens was a regular of hers at the thrift shop. He would come to see her almost every night since he lived in a fancy condo in Soho, Manhattan. Layla was convinced that Erik had a huge crush on Y/N but a man like him couldn’t crush on Y/N. He was gorgeous. Full head of short moisturized dreads, fresh shape up, smelling like coco butter and mango butter, skin smooth and blemish free minus the smooth cemetrical scars on his arms. Manicured nails, white teeth, smooth moisturized lips, muscles everywhere, a deep raspy voice with an allure that has her weak in the knees. Y/N could talk about Erik all damn day and swoon.

“Yeah, bring out the Nguni.”

Y/N adjusted her skater skirt before walking around the register to approach the angry white woman. Her daughter was just behind her with arms folded and a scowl on her face. Let the bitch try something. They were just jealous because Y/N made more profit than they did at that musty ass boutique they owned. Hating ass bitches.

“Can I help you?!” Y/N approached with obvious annoyance.

“I want a fucking refund!!” The woman shook the record in Y/N’s face with rage.

“This piece of shit won’t play!!! You gave me a fucked up record and I want my damn money back.”

“Non-refundable.” Y/N cut the woman off sharply.

“Excuse me?” The daughter decides th speak up now.

“I SAID. Non-refundable. Now can y’all please leave my fucking store this is a regular thing with y’all two.”

Both of their faces grew red like a beet. Y/N was ready to handle their ass if they tried anything.

“See, what kind of owner tells their customer that? You are supposed to be selling good quality items at a thrifted price and you can’t even do that?” The woman expected her words to cut deep but they didn’t.

“Sounds like hate to me. Now it’s time for y’all to go and don’t come back I’m sick of seeing y’all face. Y’all supposed to be running a boutique, right? Ain’t making no money coming up in here with all that bullshit.”

At that point, both the woman and her daughter walked closer like they wanted to do something. Layla walks around the counter, Nguni stick in hand. Luckily there were no other customers in sight. Too late, the door opens and in walks Erik Stevens dressed in an oversized denim jacket, white t-shirt, black cargo pants, and some black timbs. The smile on his face faded once he saw the angry glare on Y/N’s beautiful face.

“Y/N, what’s going on, baby girl?” Erik steps forward, shoulders squared. The sound of his voice made Y/N’s heart melt. She looked up at him, eyes softer now and eyelashes batting like an innocent girl.

“Don’t worry yourself handsome, they’ll be gone real soon.”

The woman looked over her shoulder at Erik, looking him up and down with disgust. Erik was used to that look and it wasn’t about to faze him at all.

“Got a problem with your eyes?” He says while taking his place next to Y/N.

“Are you her husband or something?” The daughter asks with interest. She was loving the sight of Erik and it made Y/N want to gag.

“Dont worry about all that. What’s the problem?” Erik folds his toned arms across his chest, legs in a wide stance.

“I want my money back that’s what,” the woman points to the record angrily again, “it won’t play! She’s selling items that are damaged! I need my money now or I’m not leaving.”

“Oh, you’re leaving. Now.” Erik says with a predatory voice. The woman and her daughter slightly jump at the change in tone. No longer was it smooth and hypnotic. It was dangerous and scary.

“Andrea, call your father,” the woman asks in a hurry.

“Bring your husband and watch I toss his ass out of here.” Erik laughs.

“ARE YOU THREATENING MY HUSBAND?!!” At this point the woman was beyond distraught. She looked like she wanted to cry. What did she think she was coming in here to get her way? It doesn’t work like that.

“You, your husband, your daughter,” Y/N says with a sly smirk, “step foot in here again and see what happens.”

“Free country!” The daughter, Andrea, yells over her mothers shoulder, a pinched look on her face and her chin held high like she was something.

“Layla, pass me my stick,” Y/N reached for the stick, grabbing it in hand to show them that she wasn’t all talk. She meant business.

“Look, she’s gonna use her stick. Do that and we’ll call the police.”

“Nothing new with y’all people anyway. Why don’t y’all just get the fuck out?! You don’t want Y/N and Layla to put hands on y’all, right?” Erik was just as fed up with the shit. Even in this moment Y/N was extremely turned on.

This was going on long enough. Y/N could tell that the woman and her daughter were loosing it, realizing that they weren’t going to get their way with this.

“Well? I don’t see y’all moving.” Erik barks out. The door to the shop opens and a stout man with grey receding hair and a mustache that reminded you of the end of a broom steps forward with his fists balled like he was about to do something.

“What the hell is the problem!!!” He yells. He sounded like a sailor. A fucking Popeye.

“Nothing, dear, go back to the shop.”

“Oh, there is a problem. Andrea texts me about coming here because some man is making threats to my family! My brother is a detective he will have you arrested, pal!”

He wagged his finger at Erik who stood there with a wide grin.

“Go ahead, super Mario looking mother fucker. Shit don’t faze me. All I’m saying is, your salty ass wife and daughter need to bounce. This ain’t their place, they are trespassing.”

Erik Shrugs, “so what’s it gonna be? Cuz y’all getting too comfortable.”

The woman and her husband share looks while Andrea watches from the door with a sour expression.

“...Becky, lets go.”

The mention of her name made Y/N laugh. Erik had to nudge her shoulder to stop her before he broke out into a fit. He needed to keep it serious if these people were to leave. Finally.

“No! No Robert!” She was on the verge of tears.

“Becky...we have to close up shop. Plus, let’s not get involved with these types of people. You don’t know what they are capable of. One of them has a damn stick dont be surprised if they don’t have a gun.”

His words cut deeply. He knew what he was doing saying that. Erik’s eyes squinted at the man, his jaw clenched tightly. He was trying his hardest to keep his cool after that purposeful comment. He wanted to provoke them so they could give him a reason to call the police or continue to stereotype them.

“FINE!!!” She throws the record down, the sound of it breaking catching all of their attention. Without a care, she turns, pushing past Robert and her daughter to leave. Robert gives Erik and the others one final look before leaving himself, stepping on the record with a stomp before exiting. Layla, Erik, and Y/N watch the doors close, all of them collectively sighing before shaking their heads.

“Some bullshit,” Layla says, “makes me wanna follow them and beat their ass.

“AINT worth it, shorty,” Erik says with an exhausting voice, “they gone, let them go back to that funky ass store and continue to hate on Y/N.”

Erik pulls Y/N in for a tight hug, “I don’t play with that shit. Fucking with my girl like that. Mad she flexing on y’all.”

Y/N allowed herself to smell Erik. He smelled just as tantalizing as he always did. He was so warm and big, big in a protective way. She loved the fact that she could feel every single muscle through his thick layer of clothes. His lips pressed into her forehead.

“You knew I had to stop by before I headed home, girl,” Erik pulls away from her, looking from the stick he gifted her to her pretty face. He never got the courage to ask her on a date but Erik knew she was feeling him just as much as he was.

“I was wondering when you would come by,” she looks away shyly, “thanks for sticking up for me, you didn’t have to.”

“What I just say?” Erik arches a single brow. Y/N licks her lips nervously.

“You hear me talking to you?” He grabs both sides of her face, making her look up at him.

“No body. Messes with. My girl.”

His words cut deeply like a sharp knife. She could feel it sinking deeply within her veins. His girl. That’s what he referred to her as.

“Okay...” she was being timid. Erik laughs, his hands on her waist.

“You got them books I wanted? The Malcom X ones?”

Y/N knew Erik could buy them online but he wanted to be near her. She fought to squeal about that.

“Yeah, I saved them just for you.”

“Good, show me.”

#killmonger imagine #killmonger x reader #killmonger fanfiction #black panther killmonger #erik killmonger #nahimjustfeelingit-writes

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fairycosmos · 4 years ago

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I just feel so ugly and I can’t stand it but at the same time I feel pretty ? It’s exhausting this going back and forth. Like I can’t stop freaking out about what to wear and I’m just so scared. Idk if this stepping over the line but I just really need someone . 💖

hey i’m so sorry to hear that love 😞 it’s not stepping over the line dw. reading this just breaks my heart and also makes me feel so Seen, i can’t tell you how much i relate. it’s awful that we’re made to feel so bad about simply existing god :/ i think it’s important to remember that these feelings of self loathing are planted in our brains before we’re even old enough to know what it means to love ourselves, so it’s no surprise that you feel this way. it’s ok to sit with the pain, to cry if you need to, to let it hurt. it’s ok if you need to let it go over and over again before you truly let it go for good. feeling okay in your body is a lifelong task for most people, it doesn’t have to happen instantaneously. it’s normal for it to be a process, and to feel like it’s a pointless endeavor at times. but it never actually is, and living your life in spite of this insecurity is an act of defiance you should always try to practice. you literally dont have anything to prove to anyone. you’re not here on this earth to be as pretty as possible 24/7 - a. because you’re so much more than that and b. because beauty is completely subjective, it’s impossible to please the whole world and you truly dont even have to try to. there are a few affirmations i like to remember to help make this all seem a bit easier. the first is the whole capitalist thing. i say it a lot but honestly we’re taught to despise ourselves and to feel like we constantly need to improve from such a young age simply because it’s how they make money off of us, and cause the world is sexist as fuck. they make us hate the way we look not because there’s actually anything wrong with us, but because they can profit off of it. the second is the whole mental illness thing. it really sounds like your anxiety is amplifying this situation and making it seem like a bigger deal than it is. it’s forcing you to think that the whole world sees you the way you see yourself when that’s not true at all. try to ground yourself in rationality and not emotion when possible. generally speaking nobody is judging you with the same level of disgust that you’re using to judge yourself - everyone is far too worried about themselves and about how they’re coming across, really. i think trying to recenter your attention on the fact that your friends want to see you, that you deserve to go out and have fun, that your looks are the last thing anyone other than you is thinking about etc could bring you some peace of mind. even if it’s hard to believe at first. another point i like to remember is that the people who love/care for us see us as beautiful beings regardless of conventional beauty standards. when you have a strong bond with someone, don’t you think their looks sort of melt away anyway? don’t you think their beauty is in their familiarity and what they offer to your life and the love/memories/laughter you share? you ARE that presence for so many ppl already, even if you cant see it. you can understand all of this on a logical level and still feel bad when you look in the mirror, god knows i do. but the point is to keep trying to live on your own terms, as you are. because theres no wrong way to inhabit a body, to exist. alright? but if this is smth that is continuing to get worse i’d recommend talking to someone about it - your doctor, a counselor/therapist, a support group, a hotline - the options are endless and there’s bound to be one that works for you. i know it’s a bit of a scary idea but there is so much that can be done from a professional standpoint when it comes to self esteem, in terms of behavioral therapy and confidence building techniques and even just having someone to talk to. please don’t write the suggestion off even if it’s a bit too much rn, you can always put a pin in it for later. but know that it is entirely possible to get to a more comfortable state of mind and to break this exhausting cycle. with time, effort and natural self growth. if you want to start with searching from more general self help and healthy coping mechanisms, then that’d be great too. but my point is taking a proactive role in how you view yourself, instead of a passive one, can make a big difference! ANYWAY im sorry this got so long i just lit rally cant shut up.....i hope you go and have a lovely time. everything else is background noise. if you need a friend or someone to talk to, feel free to hit me up anytime. sending love to you x

#im a hypocrite but thats y im right!#anon

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bayrut · 4 years ago

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SO since you’re the marvel expert here, which marvel movies are good in your opinion? I want a TED talk, please explain yourself with full detail bc ily when you talk about thing you like 💖 (I’m preparing myself to hear some bad takes tho)

ok so hi camila I am currently during a lab meeting so i will be able to finish this essay, but be warned this is,,,, extremely long i hope tumblr even lets me post this. but here are my favorite mcu movies in no particular order. like they’re all good, then i have a tiny section for honorable mentions of some movies that have a certain few good elements but overall are not Good TM. then i have a special mention for The Movie that shaped superhero movies forever (even though it is not my fave).

If you find this too long and decide to not read that it okay!!! i totally get it. but if you don’t read my reply at least read this:

comic books are like a story and art/visuals right? but the two things that movie makers forget about when adapting a comic book to the screen are exactly that!!! the story and the visuals. they thing that they can make a movie where everyone punches everyone and throw in a few jokes and people will be please (and they are, look at how much money they are making...) but i am not pleased. there is no story, they don’t care about character arc. and the visuals are ugly, the art in comics is supposed to help the story, to help the plot flow, like the fights should tell stories in the way that they’re organized, and the visuals should be breathtaking and serve the plot. and this all is not hard to do like: just hired a good choreographer for the fights and learn how to shoot shots properly and that’s... it. and it has been done before in some of the movies i mentioned and some shows *cough cough* watch daredevil *cough cough* so yeah it is doable but the directors dont care and would prefer to make mindless action movies with jokes and label them as ‘superhero movies’ because they know people will eat that up.

anyway, rant over, these are the best marvel movies: (open at your own risk this is extremely detailed, 4 word pages long and i did not proof read it, it took me over two hours to write)

the best marvel movie of all time must spider-man: into the spider-verse but that’s probably because they spent so many time on it to get it right. also, it’s probably cheating to consider it the best movie, since it’s animated so it does get the whole comic book vibe best automatically. but really the movie is funny, like a spider-man movie should be, the art is beautiful it is Art and honestly anyone that doesn’t think the same can unfollow me. i tried the first time i saw the trailer and also when i watched it in the cinema. Art. although the dialogue is a bit poor, and they did my girls gwen and peni dirty. but john mulaney is in it so!!! definitely one of the superior movies. the art is so beautiful i write and cry about it all the day but the fact that each character is done in a different style, and that the background and scenery is so,,, detailed,,, like it’s beautiful. even besides being a good superhero movie, it’s an amazing animated movie when compared to the trash kids get these days, where all characters look the same in a movie but also from a movie to the next. also the soundtrack was kinda amazing for the movie. tl;dr: i want my spider-verse 2 now please and thank you, the 10 second teaser was enough for me to tear up

black panther is one of the best marvel movie. i know a lot of people have focused on the diversity aspect of it and how we need black superheros so i won’t focus on it too much, you already know that. but. the costumes. are so beautiful. they spent so much time designing costumes. the plot was interesting, which honestly,,, i can’t say the same for most superhero movies these days. the movie encapsulates the magically tehcnological vibe that wakanda gives off in the comics, and honestly all the actors did a great job. also, the casino fight scene... like help that was too beautiful. superhero movies fight scenes should feel like a well-organized and elegant choreography, and honestly i’m so upset that a lot of movies decide to be like whatever they can throw in punches and that will. like in comics the punches and kicks serve to fight a narrative, to help the flow of the images move. it’s not an action movie or one of those war movies where whoever punches whoever else and that’s done. those are comic book adaptations. i need to see the flow of images. the art. where is it. anyway. black panther has that in probably all fight scenes, and i would like to say thanks to everyone who worked on that aspect. like for real fight scences looking pretty is a big part of why i like or don’t like a superhero comic book, movie, or tv show (on that note, go watch daredevil). also, the movie was funny enough but not a joke. like a comic book should be. loved it

logan: ok idk if this is an unpopular opinion and idc, but the xmen movies are far more superior than the other movies. they just get the vibe right. logan was a beautiful movie. it was different than all other movies in the superhero genre, it is violent but not violent for the sake of violent, it was violent to portray how violent life it. it wasn’t showing blood just to show blood. it captures so many emotions like intense grief and regret correctly, it is an actually Good Content movie, like many adults treat the superhero genre as a joke, and i think logan shows that it should not be treated as a joke. also, i think the characterisation of logan (like i mean the character himself) was much better in this movie compared to the xmen movies. like there he is just brooding and rude, but in logan i think he stopped being a 2-dimensional character. anyway, love it, teared up at the end, we should get more xmen movies and in general, superhero movies like this

ok i might be biased because i know the script by heart by now, but guardians of the galaxy is also one of the greatest movies based on a comic book. idk how much you know about gotg, but the comics were not doing great before the movie, but after it like marvel started making new runs and they all became popular. anyway my point is: the story was beautiful, the images and background were Beautiful, it was funny, it was a movie about not belonging anywhere but finding people to call home, about finding a reason to live. all the characters were like whatever i just exist i don’t matter and!! they found home. a lot of people treat the movie as a joke because of how light it is and how the characters are all different stereotypes of ‘funny sarcastic character’, but it really is beautiful. and the soundtrack.... can i just say... genius, superior, amazing, fantastic, i could go on for days. that opening scene where star-lord is alone and singing??? the way it is filmed??? the choreography of it all?? like idk it’s just too good. i have lots of feelings about gotg. the second one wasn’t as good, i didn’t like the main plot it was a bit Too Much but i liked the continuing theme of finding home with Yondu (who deserved better imo) but yes gotg is a superior movie

iron man, like how do i even describe this movie without insulting it... it launched the MCU. it is iconic. RDJ is amazing but not only him, everyone in that movie is great. and honestly all the iron man movies are great. (if you compare with how tony stark is portrayed in the avengers movies, like he’s way more shallow there). the movies make sense, the fight scence have that dramatic and elegant element about them. the second wasn’t my fave, but still was extremely good. the third was amazing too, like the ending of it with the suits and all that... the portrayal of mental illness, like panic attacks and anxiety,,, like this is truly what the movie genre should be about. not just mindless fights, it is about stories, and that is why most superhero movies are not good. normal people go and like them but i can’t enjoy them. and not just me (and comic book readers), like people who enjoy them are usually the people who are okay to go watch a random movie with good jokes (because that’s what most superhero movies are these days, bad plot but good enough jokes for people to go pay 15$ and see them). i mean i am ok with those movies too, but since i read comics i don’t and can’t really enjoy those movies. i think when people tell me they don’t like marvel, it is most often because they are people that read (not just comics) like they read books and care about plot and what is the movie really trying to say so when they’re asked why they dont like the movie they’re like oh it’s a dumb superhero movie... and i can’t argue with that because most superhero movies are like that right now... they profit off the fact that some superhero movies (like iron man) were huge hits that revived the genre, and profit off the fact that people think they will automatically enjoy the movie and wil go watch it, so they don’t care about actually writing a story...

xmen days of the future past this is,,, such a good movie,,, i’m a sucker for time-travel when it’s done right, and the slow-motion quicksilver scene with the music,, can i just say,,, poetic cinema,,, beautiful,, my only complaint is that there are not enough relevant female characters but like,,, it looks how a comic book movie should look like,,, anytime i’m on a plane i have to watch it... also,,, i discovered 2 years ago that a lot of scenes were filmed at my university so like,, it holds an extremely special place in my heart, i can’t believe i’ve been in the same buildings where they filmed it, it’s crazy..

doctor strange: ok ok dont @ me yet please listen. i know story-wise it is meh, they didn’t do it well (but i have real high hopes for the sequel, but that’s a talk for another day) but the visuals!!!! the visuals!!!! the fights!!! the way that they morph like reality during the fights,,, it’s just,, so beautiful, one could get drunk just by looking at it,,, also,, the sanctum sancotrum looks so pretty. the fights flow amazingly well (kudos to the cape). the dormammu scence!!!! oscar-worthy!! like i know the plot wasn’t great and the movie is zelma-erasure but!!! it looks like a superhero movie should look like and look i’m an arts kid that’s why i like comics because they’re pretty and the pictures tell a story. like of course i read books i read a lot but the visuals are so important for comic books and they should be for comic book to movie adaptations and they’re often not but doctor strange had it

ok one of my faves it ant-man and also the sequel but let’s focus on ant-man for a second, it is goofy but has lots of emphasis on the family subplot and that’s beautiful. this movie should have gotten an award just for when Luis tells stories like that scene is iconic. a lot of people think it’s a dumb movie because it focuses a lot on being funny but actually like the themes!!! aborded. like being in jail then not being able to find a job, then trying to steal again just because you need money because you wanna see your kid, like the power of showing this!! people treat it as a joke like ha ha look he is an engineer and he is working in an ice cream store, but here again no it’s an important story and comic books are books like @ movie directors where is my story??? why are you making a movie but forgetting the story??? how and why?? anyway ant-man had a story!! and also the scott/cassie father/daughter relationship.... like.. my heart. also the visual when ant-man becomes too tiny... very pretty

ok now for some movies that arent the best but have some really good elements that have to be mentioned

thor ok so a lot of people think it is not good but loki in it... i swear tom hiddleston is a great actor and just like,,, the way he portrays despair and like sadness and grief (over himself! about losing himself) is really beautiful... like even in the dark world his performance was really good,,, the Dramaticism of it all.... amazing,,, but his character was done so dirty in the MCU, like loki and wanda and strange are supposed to be the 3 most powerful sorcerers in the marvel world and the MCU was like there you get a small knife, as a treat (like don’t get me wrong i want loki to have a knife but...) also his character deserves more depth than that... like the comic books are breathtaking i’m so sad they did loki so bad... they erased the fact that loki is genderfluid, that he has complex morals, that loki is the god/goddess of stories not just whatever he is supposed to be in those movies... anyway i’m hoping for better characterization in the show, especially that they also hired a female actress to also play loki so we might get genderfluid loki,,, but also i dont wanna have hope and clown

big hero 6 (yes it counts do not fight me): although the animation was very similar to the animation these days, like it was not Special like into the spider-verse, the story is cute, it tackles important topics like grief and how do deal with grief, which is good considering that most kids movies these days just rehash the same topics and don’t care about the plot lines or what is learned

ok i hate and i really mean absolutely hate the new spider-man movies because the are bad but far from home has to be acknowledged for jake gyllenhaal as mysterio but not just about jake, in the end he is just an actor. you know that scene where he is doing his ‘illusions’ towards the end of the movie and it never ends and everytime you think the scene is over and we’re back to reality it turns out we’re still in the ‘illusion’??? just this scene and i really mean just this one scence did it right. like it’s like a comic book. when i watched it i was breathless i is beautiful. anything else in that movie i don’t care at all

i like venom but not because it’s great, the plot is very weak and it doesn’t look great but tom hardy is really good in it... like him losing it over having a symbiote in himself, being like Stressed and Anxious and A Disaster TM is really good... like when he goes to the restaurant and eats that lobster alive and sits in the tank... like amazing and superb love it

and finally, i can’t make this list without mentioning the movie that really made the difference:

avengers ok so avengers was not the best because it really did not care about black widow or hawkeye or hulk at all (their characterization is horrible and butchered in all the movies), and i don’t even like captain america, and thor is annoying, so basically tony stark, loki, and our buddies at shield carry the whole movie, but this movie is so important in terms of like, it’s the first movie that really like started the crossover movies for superheros, the ‘let’s put it all together and hope people don’t get confused’. without it like really the MCU (and DCU, even though idc much about it sorry) would be nothing like they are today!! but yeah like it did so many characters dirty like the characterization sucks, the plot is rushed,,, but like it’s okay. oh and the fight scenes are good! like you still have the whole elegant choreography element of it, which exists in the first few crossover marvel movies like this one and age of ultron (that movie was dissapointing i was so hyped for ultron as a villain and then they made him out to be a tuna can) but then for like civil war and endgame and all that it’s just huge fights and everyone hitting anyone and i don’t care for that like you get lost the only info you can take out is like: oh, there is punching happening. you don’t get to enjoy elements of it and how all the characters are interacting and collaborating together to make a visually pleasing scene simply because those fights are. not. visually. pleasing. anyway. also the shawarma scene was superior.

#camila if you actually read this all #or if anyone else actually reads this all....#like rip idk you guys are true friends #like truly idk no one cares about what i talk about and i know i talk a lot #like if you do read this i literally dont know how to repay you #maybe i'll read all of your larry fics #anyway if you dont i really wont be sad dont worry about it i went overboard #ily camila #asks #my mcu rant #pinkpoppunk #thechampagnelovers

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aplaceforthesoul · 4 years ago

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Anonymous submitted:

for tash again pls from https://aplaceforthesoul.tumblr.com/post/620183874016870400/anonymous-submitted-from

i’m really sorry that i keep hammering on about this but some days im ok and i thought im getting over it but sometimes like today it all comes in waves and i’m overwhelmed with sadness and cry about it again and i dont know where else to turn because i dont really have friends and my family expected me to be over it.

i used to have a friend who is still working there (lets call her C). we bonded bcs we’re from the same country, on the same visa, and the same age, although she’s been working there longer than i have. our visas expire around the same time, and we both had spent a lot of time together worried about what to do about it (we wanted permanent residency, but it’s not easy) so we talked about maybe going to regional australia and study something else, maybe we’ll just return home, and we can live together. we bonded over how we were not getting paid, our toxic employers, etc.

C came to australia as a student, on her own, and started working at this restaurant years ago, when it once was a small takeaway shop, before it reopened in a bigger place - thats when i joined the team. in some way, the original boss had acted as a sort of maternal figure to C, who is obviously far away from her family, and she is also epileptic. so the boss had done things like fetch her to and from the airport, the clinic, advice for living in the country, etc. and somehow, in this employer’s twisted mind, she thinks it is then ok to treat C like free help for her shop rather than an employee because she had done all this for her. so instead of paying C properly, as well as paying her super and everything else an employer should do, she finds it ok to abuse C by paying her whenever she likes, screaming at her for not answering her phone, overworking her, etc.

and C has on numerous occasions complained to me about the abuse she went through. she clearly doesnt like the boss, as on numerous occasions she had brought up the idea of reporting the business, she complains about the work, not being paid and the difficulty it had caused her and flat out said doesnt like the working conditions. BUT. if u were to ask her about the NICE things the boss has done for her, she changes her tone. she boasts about the GOOD things the boss has done for her like the flowers for her birthday - the pictures of her holding the bouquet is her profile pic everywhere, and how the boss takes care of her during an epilepsy episode - (and then put her to work the next night.) i’ve always thought it was weird , but never questioned her more about it. soon after the fallout with the two bosses, i was on the phone with her. i was crying bc i was distressed about the change, and she said: “we are the children, and they are the adults. if the business fails, it fails. let them deal with it. we’ll just carry on our work."

we were talking everyday after that just before i realised i had gotten fired. our last conversation was in february, on the phone, when we were talking about hanging out after work. and suddenly, everything dropped. i realised i had been let go from work, and suspect that the boss had told C not to talk to me anymore. i know C had extended her visa by changing to a student visa, to study cooking, because the boss said she would sponsor her if she did that. she went to study with borrowed money from her family (since she isnt getting paid nearly enough to even pay her rent smh) which is something she told me she didnt want to do. like i dont understand that at all.

what a shit show huh.

now C is not returning my messages. in fact i saw her at the shopping mall just last week. my first instinct was to go up and speak to her, until she spotted me, stopped in her tracks, and went the other direction. i truly did not expect her to be the one to turn her back on me, after everything we’ve been through.

my visa is supposed to expire next month, but after the lockdown my family and i decided that it is the best decision to stay put in australia for the time being. so i applied for a visitor’s visa for a year. the form asked for proof that i had stopped working, in the form of payslips or contract, both of which i dont have, obviously. but i submitted it anyway so now im still waiting on my application.

it just baffles me how one bad employment and two incompetent bosses had fucked up my life this bad. i cant apply for anymore work in australia, so i have no income, the only other person who understood my situation is now gone, now im just waiting until its safe to leave the country. sitting at home, doing nothing but mulling over how i had lost my job, lost my best friend, lost the opportunity to do my masters, and leave the country i had lived in for this long.

im trying not to think about it anymore but its like half a year later and its still causing me grief but nobody knows or gets it.

anyway. sorry that this is long winded i just need to vent. you’re amazing tash, if only i could borrow your residency while you’re in the uk.

hey again <3 yeah getting permanent residency in australia is a nightmare, australia’s government is mostly anti-immigration which makes me sad.

I can honestly understand why you’re still thinking about this and being negatively impacted by it all, the job gave you hope of completing your masters and staying longer in the country? and hope is a very powerful emotion! to then have it all taken away in such a brutal and unfair and cruel way...well that would affect anyone pretty badly. add in the fact that the ending of the job has created a lot of other negative situations and distress? it makes a lot of sense about why you’re still upset over this.

this business needs to be reported, honestly what they’re doing is cruel and illegal. it’s quite clear that they are using the promise of sponsoring study as a way to manipulate vulnerable people into underpaid work, it’s also now very clear that they have no intention of following through on that promise -- it’s now become a pattern of behaviour if they did it with C as well as you. they shouldn’t be allowed to continue to operate and to profit off the backs of immigrants and illegal wages. you’re the one who’s suffered, it’s up to you whether you do want to do this? but I would think a lot about it -- I know you mentioned that your parents are close with the owners, but this isn’t ok.

I think all you can do now is put this behind you, accept the reality of the situation and try to be as kind to yourself as you can. spend time looking after yourself, practising self care, prioritising you and your well-being. maybe that means daily exercise and walks, or creating art (clay, painting, drawing?), or spending time gardening, or practising yoga / meditation, whatever works for you. as long as it’s calming and relaxing for you, and you find some measure of peace? then that’s what matters.

know that what happened to you wasn’t right, it wasn’t your fault at all. you were exploited and taken advantage of, and you didn’t deserve that. try to keep yourself busy as best as you can, take it one day at a time. make a conscious decision to work on letting this go and looking forward, see how things go. I think right now is the hardest bit, because you’re kinda stuck in limbo and there’s lockdown / social distancing measures to deal with too? but once you get moving again and things change, it may have a more positive impact on your mental health when you’re being kept busy again and you have a change of environment.

I’m glad you were able to vent and get this off your chest, I hope you’re able to find some peace and acceptance moving forward xxx

- tash

#advice #submission #australia #workplace #abuse #exploitation #stress

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modern-oedipus · 5 years ago

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Conflict post that got too long and title doesn’t match the rest because I didn’t plan to write so much

Please be honest: Do you think Conflict is an angsty fanfiction?

Despite the amount of sadness, suicidal tendencies, ptsd, panic attacks and even implied incest; I can’t bring to think that Conflict is angst. It’s just the story of two flawed boys falling in love in their most vulnerable moments and learning how to know themselves as they get to know each other.

It might be because I know the whole story, though, unlike the readers who know the first arc only. I mean... it’s perfectly fine however you interprwt their story. It’s not like I’m mad. I’m just surprised when I see things like “this is so sad!” I mean, yes, Ray is not going through best time of his life, but I think it is honorable. It’s honorable that he is trying his best, despite the depression blowing his mind. It’s honorable that Norman is trying to be a little honest with himself despite the chaos he is living in. It’s honorable that Emma sticks with Ray through thick and thin. It’s just characters trying their best, I don’t think it should be needlessly tagged as “angst” because I don’t think I write them that way for the sole reason of sadness. Rather, there is something I want to tell— something I want all of my readers to see.

But I can’t blame anyone since I haven’t written 3/4 of the fanfic yet. I haven’t shown you even a bit of the path I’ve already decided and mentally written for Conflict. I actually wanted to write Conflict tonight, but due to personal reasons I’m not feeling my best and despite my efforts to write Shotgun, I couldn’t write shit, and it won’t be good for my mental health to be in fiction today. Today I need my science and my facts (I say today but it’s 2.40 am and maybe I should sleep).

So, basically, I want to just SHOW by writing instead of giving leaks and stuff, but...

But...

You have no idea how much braining it takes to write Conflict.

Sure, I’m not a professional writer and there may be many better, smarter stories out there, but to me, personally, I put my best into Conflict. I give it all I have. I give it all my experience and everything I’ve learned until age of 21. It is a very condensed, artistic way of me talking about my life and experiences and observations throughout a fictional universe where it is not directly my life, but a world I try to represent in balance. So— to me, ever since I started writing first chapter I treated Conflict like my first book, I mean, sure it is a fanfiction but I thought “I’d give it a try as a hobby and if it goes well— if i can stick to it determined and if I get nice feedback and if people like it, this will give me strength to write a real book!” and BOY I got SOOO MUCH MORE THAN I’D EVER EXPECT, I even got FANARTS and people messaging me or commenting how much they personally relate or how much the fic helped them to go through bad days or how much they’ve seen themselves in Ray or Norman’s situations, and when I read those messages I can’t help but think all of you deserve to see the way Conflict builds up. You deserve to see how many times Ray and Norman are challenged, by themselves, by each other, and by society, and you deserve to see how they respond to them, and you deserve to see how much and how little of a difference it can make to have two people really love each other. Anyway, I went off topic, I was saying that, to me Conflict is a story I’m giving all I have got as the person I am today.

Other fanfictions of mine are moreee easy to write because they don’t have sovmuch in depth characters or complex plots and they are just that, fanfictions, in which I write a ship. But Conflict, man, I treat it like my real novel— which is technically one to me, though a non-profit one dedicated to the manga that really challenged me, and I have no regrets writing it or making it a fanfic. Anyway! Thing is, given the fact that Conflict is heavy, content and chapter length wise, I can’t always get to write it. I could, if this was summer, but this is collehe time and even though I really want to get going, sometimes I need to save Conflict for another time when I’m more available. Me publishing easy to write things like Shotgun doesn’t mean I’m available for conflict. The mental energy they take is A LOT different.

But it’s not in a bad-different way! I love both my fics! I have no regret over time and dedication I have for Conflict! I just, don’t have the time for it all the time, which can’t be helped.

It’s 2.49 am now. I really want to write conflict. First draft of chapter 16 was written two months ago. The scene is completed as a draft. But that scene includes a terrible pstd & panic attack about Ray and I just... /sighs/ don’t really wanna get in mood for something so gloomy? I wanna write more cute stuff like their awkward date on Shotgun... but I really want to keep Conflict going. I guess I’m terrified that given how fragile my mental health is right now, the content of Conflict might make it worse. I’d still proud to have finished a chapter. But thinking about writing about Leslie’s loss and its effects on Ray makes me shiver, because that’s a topic I’m sensitive of and although I almost never get affected emotionally from the ficsbI write (for example, I dont cry writing sad smiles neither do I smile a lot at soft scenes, I’m usually neutral and I simply enjoy act of writing itself) but the 1% chance that Conflict’s content might fuck with my mental health.. as if one last trigger before a breakdown, makes me want to stay a few steps back from Conflict and just breathe.

But I also somehow feel like I’m really available to write Conflict. I don’t know. Why do I care so much about Conflict, you may ask, since it’s just a fanfiction.

I think that’s because Conflict is the first real thing I’ve done (along with many other achievements that exactly started on the same day, July 1) after I got out of depression. It proves me that I can create something— get it visualized— and having people respond to it makes me feel connected to world. Remember the scene I wrote about Ray’s detachment to Emma’s calls? I’ve never gotten physically unresponsive like that, but there were times depression made me detached and to me that’s the scariest part... feeling detached. I feel as if I don’t post a fic for too long (assuming I’m in mood to write), or if I don’t go out/go to school/go to gym for too long, if I don’t meet up my friends or reply back to my texts for too long, I may get detached. If I get detached, I’ll think of dark, terrible stuff. If I don’t return world easily, it may easily slide into a depressed day. Or two days. Before I get back. And those one or two days are scariest because I’ve lived a YEAR worth of them, continiously, and god forbid me or anyone experiencing that. It was terroble.

So when I don’t write even when I want to, I feel as if I might get depressed. Not emotionally. But rationally— be being unable to do things I want to do EVEN WHEN I HAVE TIME AND SOURCES AVAILABLE FOR THEM would build depression up. I sm not saying right sway. Anyway. That’s why I care about Conflict. That’s why I’m staying dedicated. Dedication prevents detachment. When I’m not detached, and thankfully having readers interacting to me, I feel— or prove— that my work is reaching someone. I exist. My ideas mean something. Even if it’s just fan base, ie friends— I consider y’all friends— I mean, we are still kids, right? Most of us are 16-25 and that ain’t even real adult to me, we are just friends befriending each ofher oe so I believe, so like, even if its just with friends it means a thing. It prevents detachment. When I’m not detached I’m motivated. When I’m motivated I want to live. When I want to live I go out and do things. When I go out and do things I get motivated again. When I’m motivated again I write again. When I write I’m not detached. The cycle continues, see? Of coursw, writing is just ONE way to prevent detachment. It itself can’t carry all burden. Same goes for me regularly going to classes, going to gym, meeting up or calling my friends, etc. I’ve learnt that the more places you put a bit of yourself in, less likely you are from detachment. And that’s good. Idk, that’s why comments are important to me. It’s too personal at this point but they really, really, really help me to stay in connect.

So I want to write, so I can be happy, and I can interact, and look at my published chapter, so I can be further motivated to do things tomorrow... but it’s now 3 am and, I, if I start now I won’t be done earlier than 4.30 am and it’ll be cold and I’ll be brain dead, so for my sake, it’s better if I sleep. Msybe studying a bit before sleep will prevent detachment as well. I usually don’t EVER get detached, I’m quite successful at holding myselfnon line, but that’s bc I am careful about triggers. So... not starting conflict will be the best decision.

I don’t know how much time I’ll have in sunday but I hope it will be enough for a chapter update.

If you’ve read so far, thank you, this post went out of hand— but I can comfortably talk about it now because I’m over it, and I’m trying to rationalize the fact that me consistently updating really makes me happy and excited and having fun instead of feeling detached and it’s important and I just love my story and I hope you all feel content and satisfied when you read Conflict’s final.

#nila stuff #conflict #writing #personal #shotgun

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proheromidoriyashouto · 6 years ago

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Inksignia, Beyond Alteo - Tattoo artist!Inko x Flower Shop Owner!Rei AU with pre-IzuShou Part 1

Canon is mostly the same with a few exceptions. Izuku immediately tells the teachers what Shouto said during the Sports Festival. Trust is broken but Izuku would rather have him alive and safe than continue to leave him in that house. The teachers - Eraserhead, All Might and Nighteye mostly- investigate and Endeavor is taken down, goes to jail, blah, blah, blah he’s not important. After careful consideration, the authorities tentatively release Todoroki Rei from the mental hospital as an out-patient.

In order to gain independence from his estate, she decides to start up a flower shop for income. So much time spent in that drab, stale hospital has fostered a desire for bright colors and the scents of nature. She uses some of her monetary award to pay off the rent for a space wedged between a smaller convenience store and a tattoo shop. The tattoo shop has dark-tinted windows with intricate, black detailing that creates a black-on-black appearance Rei recalls seeing on pottery in the States a lifetime ago. The tattoo shop opens and closes later than her own flower shop so she goes a few weeks before she makes contact with the owner.

Business starts off slowly as there are more renowned shops a short drive away but Rei creates a niche for herself by exclusively offering carnivorous plants, and freeze-drying flowers. She had a lot of time to read and explore her tastes with a decade apart from Enji and she developed a fascination with carnivorous plants. Beautiful, deadly, and deceptively delicate, they require the utmost care. Preserving flowers by freezing them was a past-time of hers prior to her marriage and she is delighting to pick it up again. It was an uncommon practice then and continues to be so now. She uses her quirk to frost the vases and keep that part of the shop cool without altering the temperature necessary by the tropical plants. Soon enough she has moderate, steady business and she’s finally beginning to turn over a profit.

She’s returning from lunch when she spots Shouto shuffling about outside. He visits her here since her release or at her apartment above the shop so being outside must mean he was waiting for her. He looks despondent when she guides him inside and he spends nearly an hour simply walking through the shop, familiarizing himself with her wares. Even after all this time she call tell something has upset him, though he undoubtedly has a lot on his mind after the Hosu Incident. Though when he came to visit after the Sports Festival and again since the investigation into her ex-husband he had been angry about something then too. He’ll speak when he’s ready so she helps a few patrons with their orders in the meantime and when he does he seems... lost.

Mama?

Yes, dear?

Are you... happy... with all of this?

...How do you mean?

I... He visibly swallowed around a lump in his throat. H-his arrest. The court proceedings, the media attention, public opinion. Doesn’t it... bother you? Make you uncomfortable? I passed by people on the way here who were whispering about you and all of us, how we’re ungrateful and-! Validating the things people like Stain say about heroes and society. Is this, he kept his eyes firmly downcast, all even worth reliving that pain? Wouldn’t you rather forget it?

S-shouto?

I’m not saying this isn’t a good thing, now, but wouldn’t have been better to let sleeping dogs lie? I... I was going to save you from that place. When I made it and he couldn’t control me or you anymore, I-I had a plan, but...

But? She approached him slowly, letting him gather his thoughts. Something changed that? She could see the tips of his ears flush though she couldn’t see his face for his hair.

I told someone. He almost growled at that taking her by surprise. He told the teachers. That’s when they started looking into it. His fists were clenched at his sides in his hurt. I just needed him to understand what- I didn’t think he’d say anything. I didn’t know him. We’d never spoken before but he was always butting his nose into things... I didn’t think he’d hang us out to dry. But he did and now. He lifted his head to look her in the eye. His expression was imploring, desperate maybe. Being dragged through court and forced to relive all those horrible things and having people think less of you for it.You- you can’t tell me it’s made you happy.

She considered his words carefully. No. No, that certainly wasn’t. Having to testify, being in the same room as your father. That was... never something I wanted to experience again.

He adopted a look that was equal parts relief and... vindication? But she continued.

But I would do it again in a heartbeat.

His expression became clear shock then. Why?

Shouto, where do you live now? She asked instead of answering.

...with Fuyumi?

Are you happy with her?

Yes.

Do you feel safe there?

He tilted his head to the side, reminiscent of an inquisitive puppy. So cute her son. ...Yes.

And you know that your father will never come near you again, right?

...Yeah.

So, my sweet boy, who I know is so so smart, She gently cupped his face in her hands and kept his eyes on her own, why wouldn’t I repeat this fight if it meant getting you and your siblings here, to this safe, happy place every time?

His eyes shined with tears.

For the record, she said, I am. Happy- that is- here. And however unintentional, I’m grateful that you told that boy. Her son’s eyes widened. He set us on this path. It was painful, yes. She tucked an errant lock of crimson hair behind is ear. It was also the road to freedom. For all of us.

Tears wet her fingers and Shouto looked away in shame. Oh. He said so softly. You- it- it doesn’t... you mean that?

She nodded fervently. Absolutely. I would thank him if I saw him.

Shouto drew his shoulders up tensely and gently pulled her hands away from his face. That... I’m not sure that’ll ever happen.

She hummed curiously. Has he requested to remain anonymous?

No, I-I thought you were hurt by all of this. I, um. He curled in on himself a bit. I was angry. I... told him off after they started looking into our lives. ...we aren’t talking.

Oh. Shouto. You were worried about my feelings? She would remain amazed by his capacity to love her after what she’d done to him.

He nodded.

Could you make up? I’d hate for him to think he didn’t do the right thing. He might not come forward for someone else if the situation arises. I’d hate to think that someone else if left in suffering over this.

He seemed to shrink in on himself even more. The- the things I said to him were, um, pretty personal. His face twisted in obvious shame. Someone else told me- a bully of his told me that he was... I said a lot of horrible things to him and he won’t even look at me anymore. Before, I was glad. But you’re- you’re happy. He said the last word as though it a ludicrous notion.

She nodded.

Now, I- I don’t know. I should apologize. Looking back it was going too far. He didn’t mean to hurt you by it. Or me. Or any of us. He’s just... I think he’s just like that. So helpful.

She smiled. He sounds nice.

Yeah. His voice cracked as he blinked away more tears. His right hand reached over to cover the knife wounds on his left arm. They were weeks old, maybe they were still causing him pain? Too nice. ...I don’t think he’ll want to talk to me. His voice dropped to a nearly inaudible whisper, a few more silent tears slipping down his face unbidden. ...I made him cry.

Would it hurt to try?

They spent the rest of the day discussing how to go about making amends, and ended up staying well-past the typical closing time. It’s dark out by the time they head out to pick up dinner. She finally has enough money to take the children out for food and Fuyumi and Natsuo said they would meet up at the restaurant. It’s been such a long time since she had a warm meal with her babies. She’s excited. They can finally get to being a real family.

They’re surprised by the door to Inksignia suddenly swinging open, bathing the street in light. A woman stepped out and she blinked large eyes at them. She was short and chubby with green hair and eyes, wearing a black dress with sheer lace revealing colorful patterns on her shoulders, chest, and back without appearing risque. Her arms, neck, and legs were conspicuously bare of tattoos. She carried herself like someone comfortable in their own skin. Surreal.

Oh! Hello! She offered them a smile. Didn’t see you there. Her green eyes drifted over Rei’s apron. She’s forgotten to take it off. You work right here at Beyond Alteo?

No worries. Yes, I’m the owner actually. I’m, uh, Rei. Just Rei.

Ah, how rude of me, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Midoriya Inko, nice to meet you. Her round face was soft and welcoming. This is my parlor. She said proudly.

Midoriya? Shouto blurted out suddenly, eyes wide.

Hm? Yes. Inko turned to him. Do I- oh. You’re him. She narrowed her eyes in recognition. Todoroki Shouto-kun. You fought my son during the Sports Festival.

Y-yeah, I did. Shouto looked nervous. Understandable. Rei had watched the fight after all. A seed of suspicion before to take root in her chest. If it had been her son injured in their match...

Are you alright? Inko asked to their surprise.

I- I’m okay.

I heard about Hosu. Are you healed properly? Have you been eating enough? My son said you eat very little- he eats me out of house and home so his idea about what constitutes regular portions is a bit skewed but he seems really worried about you so I thought I’d ask. Ah, if that’s okay?

It’s... fine. My wounds are healed. I’m eating, uh, everyday?

We’re going out for dinner right now. Rei said. Hm, she would have to see if he was in fact eating enough for a boy his age. She’d compare to Natsuo for reference.

Midoriya-san, your son... talks about me? Shouto asked.

Oh, all the time. Everyday it’s Todoroki-kun this, Todoroki-kun that. He’s been so worried about you! Especially since the, well, the news. And Hosu. He said you’ve been busy with family matters- and I won’t pry- so he hasn’t had the chance to talk to you in a while. So you mind if I tell him you’re doing okay?

Everyday? He seemed to whisper to himself. No, t-that’s okay. Yeah. Um, has he said anything else?

Ah... Just that he’s worried about where you’re staying and if you feel comfortable there. We have a spare bedroom and he wants you to know you’re welcome to it if you need it. It’s alright with me of course.

Shouto’s jaw dropped as his cheeks pinked again, and he dropped his face to hide behind his bangs. He clutched his hands to his chest. O-oh.

Shouto is staying with his sister for the time being. He was telling me how much he likes it. Rei replied when it was clear Shouto wasn’t going to. Thank you for the concern. Please thank your son for his thoughts. I’m glad that someone outside of the family is looking out for him.

Shouto flinched from behind his mother.

Inko smiled. I will. He’ll be so relieved. She spared a look to her watch and gasped. Oh gosh, I just meant to get some fresh air but I’ve kept you from your plans! Sorry! She opened the door to return to her business. It’s been wonderful talking to you. I know the hours are a bit unusual but feel free to stop by anytime with your boy! It’ll be nice to have a friend in the neighborhood.

Rei felt a flutter of something soft and fuzzy from her hairline to her toes. A friend? ...when was the last time she had one of those? Before Enji. After, most of her friends had gone on to actually make use of their hero certification and were too cowed by his political and social capital to heed her plight. None of them had reached out to her in years. The children were great comfort but they had their own lives. Maybe... should she? Oh it’s been a bit, should probably respond sometime this year- Yes!

Inko blinked at her loud answer.

Erm, Rei flushed, y-yes, I’d like that.

Inko’s smile widened into a 1000-megawatt grin that almost seemed to dull the lights from the within the parlor in comparison. We’re open earlier on the weekends. You could come by then if it’s better for you.

I will, I think. Yeah.

(This was supposed to be a short headcannon and now the animal is loose. I’ll expand from here and post link to AO3 when it’s done. Does anyone want to read more??? Let me know!!

Shouto felt betrayed and protective over his mama so he raged a bit. Izuku can understand why but it definitely hurt and he’s been avoiding Shouto- which Shouto now feels regret about. They’ll make up don’t worry.

Rei and Inko are gonna be nearly as dumb as their sons and I think it’ll be fun.

TLDR: tattoo artist!Inko x flower shop owner!Rei get together AU, still quirks and hero-sons. the name of Rei’s shop has meaning. inko’s almost as cool as she seems yo)

#inko x rei #bnha #midoriya inko #todoroki rei #let rei be a midoriya #tododeku #tattoo parlor x flower shop owner au #i mean her name is INKo #todoroki shouto #dumbass todoroki shouto

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whiteviolinlesbian · 6 years ago

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umbrella academy twitter account

okay i know this might be a controversial take, but i wanted to put a spotlight on some of the manipulative marketing the umbrella social team has been doing with a focus on a tweet from today that got the old blood a boilin'.

today (friday, 2/22) the umbrella academy account posted this "imagine living a whole lifetime with the one you love only to have it stripped away by the consequences of time travel. I MEAN COME ON. KLAUS AND DAVE FOREVER. WE’RE NOT CRYING. YOU ARE"

first of all . as a lesbian woman who is sick and tired of queer people in media dying/being used as trauma magnets so the audience feels sorry for them, i do NOT find klaus to be positive representation. i think hes an interesting character with a lot of potential, but the way they treated his relationship with dave/referenced relationships with other men almost screamed that it was a) for points and b) for us to feel bad for him. had a "long term" relationship? because he needed somewhere to sleep. found real love? the first thing we know about him is that he's dead! we get MAYBE five lines of dave dialogue at most - robbing his character of its agency and essentially using him as a prop for klaus' story and a catalyst for klaus to commit to being sober. if we could have an entire scene - a LITERAL song and dance - for 'its not technically incest because we romanticized it' allison and luther (ugh maybe more on that later) we can have like. a fuller picture of the TEN MONTHS that klaus was spending in the war.

i'm getting carried away. my point is, the show chose to make these decisions - to make klaus and dave's relationship purposefully vague. maybe they have plans for it later, maybe they thought it'd bog the story down - but they chose to do that.

and then the manipulative marketing strikes.

the first thing i noticed when i saw this tweet was its punctuation. all lowercase, followed by all caps - the kind of thing you'd see on someone's liveblog of the show. the tone is distinctly infantilising - i almost expected the next tweet on the timeline to be something about their 'gay babies uwu'. klaus and dave forever...youre litcherally the ones who buried them! youre profiting off of the pain of a community by using familiar language. and looking in the replies it continues - all lower or upper case. no punctuation, one even had asterisks enclosing an action (i.e. *looks at ground*) but this show is not a person. it is actively tricking you into thinking theyre a) somehow not responsible for the death of yet another queer character and b) are mourning him alongside fans instead of profiting off of our misery and trauma as a community.

i dont even know if this post has a point anymore. im just really disappointed in netflix's consistent use of humanizing memes/language and sad about missed opportunities.

#please ask to tag #and send me asks if you want clarification on what any of this means im pretty emotionally burnt out at this point so it mightve become #a mite incomprehensible near the end.#the umbrella academy #umbrella academy spoilers #frankietalk

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quiznakchronicle · 7 years ago

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A collection of discourse/vent asks

So over the last few weeks we’ve gotten a bunch of discourse/vent asks, mostly from people frustrated at the number of events in the fandom and/or how they’re being managed. We understand that people turn to us because we’re the ones in the thick of all these events, but please keep in mind that this isn’t a discourse blog. We’ll answer all the asks we have in one shot in this post (under a cut) because we don’t want people thinking we’re ignoring them or don’t care about what they’re saying, but after this we won’t be answering such asks publicly anymore. In the future we’d ask that if you have a grievance regarding events in this fandom please either talk to us in private about it (send an off-anon ask to this blog or DM Mod Pidge at @ace-pidge) or make a separate post about it on your blog. If you just want to anonymously vent/rant at someone may we suggest something like @vld-rage-confessions

Thanks for understanding <3

- Mods Pidge & Shiro

Anonymous said: 12 days ago regarding that anon complaining about event capacity, I think it might be helpful to also bring up a discussion about how certan events are run. Some events are run very smoothly by mods that are mature and act professional, while others are either run by well-intentioned newbies or people who don't have the skill to run the event they are. I have had to drop out of several bangs because the mods have refused to use email for sign-ups or check-ins, instead forcing all the work on participants1/2

2/2 They put all of the responsibility for both creating the piece, communicating with partners and performing check-ins on the participants and then people drop out due to poor communication and confusion. I have asked mods to please use email and send out confirmation / check-in emails and many have been rude and self-righteous about it, calling those that ask for better modding skills lazy or entitled. I am frustrated since I have always handed my work in on time, but have had to drop

3/2 from events due to absolute silence on the part of mods. It is not good practice to run your entire event out of tumblr / twitter and expect all participants to keep checking your blog / check in with you. It is teh responsibility of mods to send out emails and check in with participants, not the other way around. it is the responsibility of mods to make sure the communication is there, and the responsibility of participants to do the work and hand it in.

4/2(sorry) I don't wnat to make a c=major call-out post or shame particular people, but I feel like this is a trend that needs to stop. Certain events (big bangs, I've noticed) are being run like drag-and-drop set-and-forget events that mods don't need to put effort in to beyond putting up a tumblr. Running a big bang is a HUGE amount of effort and if you're not willing to put the effort in to run it properly, you run the risk of burning the entire community. We need to focus on a few well-run events. Sorry, finished. (no need to publish this ask)

I think this is a very good point and in fact I was partly thinking of this ask when I made my events etiquette post with my list of advice to organizers and participants. The importance of good and consistent communication during events simply cannot be understated, it’s what will make or break your event

Anonymous said: 12 days ago thank you so much for posting the thing about too many events. i'm thinking about not accepting zines if i get in because i don't think they'll sell and i don't want to work on something for nothing and i don't know how to get that across to these mods because they think selling a hundred is good but i get more kudos on my ao3 fics than that

Honestly the situation with zines has me particularly worried, because there is actual money involved. In previous fandoms I’ve only ever seen a few zines overall, never this many and all at once. It really does saturate the market. The last thing anyone wants is for people to put in all that work only for it to flop at the end because few people actually order it. It’s not any one person or zine’s fault, because all of them have neat concepts and themes. The problem is in having them all at once.

Anonymous said: 12 days ago I don't know how recently the problems with dropouts have started getting worse, but it could also have something to do with school starting back in a lot of places. If students didn't think about school starting or didn't expect to have more work this year than last year, they might be dropping stuff because of that. Oversaturation is definitely a problem we have, but things might even out a little bit in a few weeks once people adjust and it might get a little bit better? Hopefully?

That’s definitely a possibility. As I’ve said in the past it’s very important to consider your long-term life/work/school schedule when considering whether to run or sign up for an event. I have noticed in the past week or two less new events have popped up, so either I’m not finding them lol, or we’re heading into a lull which will hopefully allow things to even out

Anonymous said: 12 days ago on top of "too many events", there are a lot of /competiting/ events. 3 keith zines (for example) are all gonna compete with each other, period. people only have so much money to give, so someone buying 1 keith zine can't spend THAT SAME money on the other 2. (nor can they spend it on a lance zine, klance zine, etc). thinking these don't compete is the 1st mistake. creators are gonna spend time making things no one will buy and the mods are gonna lose money producing it.

Yeah, I touched briefly on the situation with zines a bit further up. I think the one saving grace for these zines is that while they may all be in production more or less at the same time they don’t go on sale at the same time. But I definitely hear you. We all want all the zines to do well, but like you say people aren’t made of money

Anonymous said: 12 days ago confession: im in an event run by the worst mod ever and its incredibly fucking frustrating. it feels like they dont give a shit about the event. i applied to their zine before i knew that but if i get accepted i WONT participate and in the rejection i will tell them why (its been over a month). they havent done ANY check ins as scheduled have basically disappeared and my artist hasnt replied either. im so mad i want to cry and drop out and never do an event again. this hurts us too you know

Aw Nonny I’m so sorry you’re stuck in this situation... The flipside of poor event management is fandom creators like you being turned off from participating in projects and that’s really upsetting. Fandom events should be a source of fun and creativity, not stress and anxiety. I’m so sorry, I hope in the meantime since you sent this your situation has improved ;A;

Anonymous said: 12 days ago Guys please don't encourage mods who are continuously late on their dates or end up canceling their event due to their poor planning. I get that you want to treat them well but not giving honest feedback ("please keep to the schedule in the future" or "I'm disappointed this was cancelled") tells them that there are no consequences to their bad management. But there are: one week only had 2 participants. Zines aren't making money. Too many events + bad mods = poor participation. I'm sick of it.

This is important. If the way something is being run isn’t working it’s important to say so, otherwise how will the mod grow and learn to do better in the future. I know it feels like “calling out” but it needs to be said. Seeing an event to completion is a partnership between the organizer(s) and the participants and both sides need to be proactive and be willing to listen to each other

Anonymous said: 10 days ago My 2 cents on the events discourse: they're optional so don't sign up. Personally I'm sick of having shitty mods and terrible experiences so i won't be doing anymore vld events. Sucks because i love fandom events but apparently no one who runs them gets the point of them so...

Yeah, I’m seeing more and more people saying they’re just not gonna participate in anything anymore and it sucks that it’s come to this. I totally understand though ://

Anonymous said: 8 days ago dear people who follow QC: we do not have unlimited money. zines for profit are going to continue to do worse because more people will hit their spending limits. we do not need multiple character zines, ship zines, or race zines (galran/altean/etc). if you think galra keith, nature keith and gen keith don't compete with both each other AND the lance zines then please take an econ class before launching. we have plenty more seasons, let's not run this fandom into the ground, shall we?

Anonymous said: 6 days ago I'm quitting fandom events. There are so many bad mods and it's made this experience really terrible for me. I'm telling you in hopes that you publish this ask so people who see it will think about if they're modding for 15 min of fame or if they're taking it seriously. Enough is enough

I think I’ve pretty much said everything further up, so I’ll just leave these last two ones here like this

#answered #anonymous #discourse /#mod post

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therealestatesparkblog · 6 years ago

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10 Lethal Mistakes to Avoid on Your First Real Estate Investment

Your first investment will be a learning process.While youll definitely make a few mistakes along the way, there are a few common pitfalls that can be avoided if you educate yourself beforehand.From financing errors to underestimating repair costs, newbies are at risk to lose serious cash if theyre not careful.Still, a real world education is invaluable, and this guide will help steer you down the best path possible to your very first real estate investment. You may have heard that your first real estate investment is the most difficult one. Its true. Your first deal is difficult because you dont know enough. How could you? Yet you still need to move forward and get started. If you wait until youre 100 percent ready, youll never make progress. But even though your first deal wont be perfect, you still dont want it to be so bad that it will knock you out of the game. So, this article will help you avoid the 10 most lethal mistakes on your first real estate investment. Use this like a checklist to ensure that you avoid the worst case scenarios. When you prevent the worst from happening, you will gain confidence so that you can buy your first deal, move forward, and begin your real world education. Here are the 10 lethal mistakes to avoid. 10 Lethal Mistakes to Avoid on Your First Real Estate InvestmentMistake #1: Bad Financing Bad financing can be one of the most lethal mistakes possible. I have personally seen more real estate investors lose money or go out of business from bad financing than from any other mistake. What is bad financing? For me, it includes a combination of the following: High interest rateAdjustable interest rateHigh monthly paymentBalloon paymentPersonal recourse Most residential bank mortgages at least save you from the first four mistakes because the interest rates are low, fixed for 30 years, with amortizing payments, and there are no balloons. But they almost always require personal recourse, meaning you personally guarantee the loan with your other assets and future earnings. This is probably a reasonable trade-off. Many commercial, portfolio, hard money, and private lenders, however, do not meet any of these criteria. And that could be a problem, especially on your first deal. If you borrow at 12 percent interest with a large monthly payment, a balloon due in one to threeyears, and full personal recourse for the loan, you are likely taking too much risk.

Why? Because the property will likely have negative cash flow with the high interest rate. A balloon note means you will have to refinance or sell in a very short period of time. As many learned in the 2008 credit crisis, trying to refinance when credit dries up is very difficult even with perfect credit and good income. And personal recourse means that if anything goes bad and your lender loses money, they could chase you around and take your other assets in order to collect. I have always used a lot of private and seller financing for my real estate deals, and I keep this list of financing mistakes in mind. For example, I might trade off a little higher interest rate and a larger down payment in exchange for a longer loan term and no personal recourse. Related: The Biggest Mistake I Made as a New Investor (& How You Can Avoid It) The beauty of private financing is that everything is negotiable. But no matter what type of financing you use, be sure to negotiate hard and avoid the worst mistakes. Mistake #2: Bad Location Real estate value always begins with location. The people and businesses who will rent or buy from you begin with location, and then they evaluate other criteria like the lot and the house. Because its so important, you should study the best and the worst locations in your area before buying. There are investors who make money in bad locations, but its a challenging game that beginners should probably avoid. I bought a lower-priced single family house once at a below market price with excellent seller financing terms. But the location was awful. I could not consistently attract good tenants because the neighbors were not pleasant (or safe) to live around. On the other hand, I have bought properties in good locations that I made mistakes on, like paying a little too high of a price. The good location helped to bail me out of some of those mistakes.

Mistake #3: Misjudging Resale or Rent Value I would argue that our number one job as investors is to understand how our end customers (renters and buyers) make buying decisions and then to translate that to a value. If we cant determine the full value potential, we will have a hard time making a confident purchase offer that earns us a profit. This job is important. But its not easy. Its a skill that you must commit to learn and then continue to refine every day for the rest of your investment career. On your first deal, its likely you are not yet an expert on value, so there are a few things you can do to help yourself: Reduce your target market to a relatively small, manageable area.Study all of the transactions in your market daily using tools like the MLS, Zillow, or your local tax assessor. For me, this is like the daily weight training of real estate that keeps me fit and competitive. Hire professionals for assistance. For resale value find a very competent real estate agent and/or appraiser. For rental values find property managers with multiple units in your area.Take courses on valuation at your local Associate of Realtors or other continuing education school.Mistake #4: Underestimating Repair Costs It is inevitable that you will underestimate repair costs at some point. But you want to avoid enormous cost overruns that could cause you to run out of cash or face other problems. To avoid large mistakes, learn a good repair estimating system. I use the one taught by J Scott in BiggerPockets own The Book on Estimating Rehab Costs. Also be sure to get help from other more knowledgeable investors or contractors. Dont be afraid to pay these people for their time and knowledge. You can meet these people by: Mistake #5: Running Out of Cash Your investment properties are like your race car. Cash is like your cars fuel. Whenout of fuel, even the most powerful race car in the world sits still. If you run out of cash, even the best investment property will hurt your wealth building. So you want to avoid running low or running out of cash. This usually happens for a couple of reasons: Underestimating repair costs (see mistake #3 above)Underestimating future capital expenses on a rental property Capital expenses are big ticket items like a roof or a heating-air system replacement. If these costs hit you unexpectedly, it can become a big problem. Related: Want to Lose All Your Money & Cry Yourself to Sleep? Make These 4 Newbie Mistakes! Brandon Turner wrote a really good article about estimating capital expenses and budgeting for them on your rental properties.

Mistake #6: Letting Emotions Drive Your Decisions This is a huge mistake for newbies. And its understandable. I mean it IS an exciting chase to look for your first deal. But you have to balance your enthusiasm with cold, hard, and objective analysis. I love enthusiasm. Its critical as an entrepreneur because it helps you push ahead through the many obstacles you will face. But I have also learned to never make big financial decisions with emotion alone. I use a process of analysis that filters each of my deals. I also run every deal by someone else, which typically means my business partner but sometimes includes other mentors and advisers. My process begins with basic criteria, including general locations, neighborhoods, housing types, construction quality, etc. This helps me to filter down the enormous number of properties out there. Then I use a deal analysis process to analyze the numbers. Here is my basic go or no-go system for a deal. I also like to calculate key metrics like the cap rate (or return on asset), the cash on cash return, the discount from full value, and the internal rate of return. My favorite book to teach you the cold, hard analysis of real estate is What Every Real Estate Investor Needs to Know About Cash Flow by Frank Gallinelli. Mistake #7: Choosing the Wrong Real Estate Strategy Fellow investor and BP writer Erion Shehaj introduced us to the dreaded Shiny Strategy Syndrome and showed why its detrimental to your financial future. Real estate investing has MANY strategies. And as wonderful as BiggerPockets is, its easy to get overwhelmed or waste time chasing the wrong strategy. Heres a tip: You wont find a perfect strategy. But you can find one that pretty well suits your unique strengths, your short-term needs, and your long-term goals. So, instead of borrowing the perfect strategy for someone else, think hard about what you really want and which real estate strategy will get you there. To get you started in this process, I wrote: Investors: DONT Begin by Wholesaling. Take One of These 7 Paths Instead. Mistake #8: Choosing Bad Contractors My business partner and I bought our very first fix-flip deal in December of 2003. We proceeded to go through three different painters, two different heating and air companies, and two different carpet installers before we got the house looking decent. These were expensive mistakes. We were lucky to even make a small profit on that first deal! Finding contractors who will do good work, finish up on time, clean-up after themselves, and charge reasonable prices is harder than finding buried treasure on a beach. Yet the people who do work on your fix-flip or rental deal will make or break its success. J Scott does a great job discussing this issue in The Book on Flipping Houses. He discusses the different types of contractors, when to use each, and how to manage the relationship well.

Mistake #9: Not Using Your Due Diligence Period Some experienced investors make offers with fast closings, in as-is condition, and with no due diligence period. This may help them get a lower price, but for your first deal this is probably not the best route to go. Instead, include a short but reasonable due diligence period that allows you to get out of the purchase contract if you find a problem. Here are a few of the important things I usually do during due diligence: Obtain a very good professional third party property inspectionRepair estimates (see mistake #3 above)Evaluate zoning and local ordinances (for example, the college town where I invest has a law that you cant rent to more than two students in a residential zoning district)Get a professional third party opinion of value and rental comps Basically, you want to double check all of the key assumptions you used to make your offer. If you find that you made a bad assumption, you may need to renegotiate or walk from the deal. Related: The Rookie Landlording Mistake Most New Investors Make Some of your best deals may be the ones you dont do. Mistake #10: Not Learning From Your Mistakes You have just read 9 mistakes to avoid, and I could probably tell you another 20. But no matter what you learn, you will still make mistakes. I guarantee it. This is called The School of Hard Knocks. Go ahead and listen to Annie sing Its a Hard Knock Life and join the club. But the biggest mistake you can make is not learning from this School of Hard Knocks. In our first year of business, my partner and I agreed that we didnt know everything. We knew we would screw up many times. But we decided to call each mistake a seminar, and then write down the lesson. We have attended thousands of these real world seminars since then, and our education continues today. Go ahead and decide to create your own personal School of Hard Knocks. Its an invaluable education. Conclusion Real estate is an entrepreneurial venture. We entrepreneurs shoot for the stars, but we also take risks that could turn out badly. This can be a difficult pill to swallow on your first deal. But risk doesnt have to be a bad word. I see it as a barrier to entry. It means that the less committed, pretender-investors dont bother. They drop out when it gets too tough. The successful real estate entrepreneurs arent perfect. They have scars to prove all of their past mistakes. But they learn to avoid the fatal mistakes that would knock them out of the game. And they learn to always keep moving forward. Forward movement. Thats what entrepreneurship is all about. I hope the lessons of these 10 fatal mistakes help you to continue moving forward at whatever step of the entrepreneurial journey you find yourself. Were republishing this article to help out our newer readers.

What did you think of the 10 fatal mistakes to avoid? Are there others that I missed? What challenges are you facing as a new investor? Id love to hear your thoughts and comments below. https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/2016/03/22/10-lethal-mistakes-avoid-real-estate-investment/

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writingguide003-blog · 6 years ago

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'Sometimes I laugh at this farce': six writers on life behind bars in Turkey

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/sometimes-i-laugh-at-this-farce-six-writers-on-life-behind-bars-in-turkey/

'Sometimes I laugh at this farce': six writers on life behind bars in Turkey

Six persecuted writers describe the mental and physical toll of living in the country that jails more journalists than any other

Photograph: YouTube

Ahmet k

Age 46

Profession Author, investigative journalist and trade unionist

Charge Terrorist propaganda

Time behind bars Four months and counting, and one year and one month in 2011-12

Possible maximum sentence Seven and a half years

Turkey disclaimer

It is hard to be in prison. Its even harder when its because your typical acts of journalism have been criminalised. We are surrounded by emptiness: stuck between a past that we dont belong to and a future that we cant predict.

The only link that connects me and my fellow inmates to the outside world is the little bit of sky that winks at us beyond an eight-metre wall. A little piece of sky, barely as big as my palm, which is also obstructed by razor wire.

Books and letters would bring a sense of freedom to a place like this, where everything is so rigid and unjust. But they are forbidden. The newspapers and television do not give us much comfort.

For a long time there has been a world of difference between what appears on the screens and pages and the actual reality of what is happening in Turkey.

Right now, I feel what anyone would feel if their freedom was taken away if they refused to be a journalist that obey their president.

Being in my situation is like being awoken from your sleep in a place that you are completely foreign to. You feel deaf although you can hear everything, you feel blind although you can see everything, and you feel muted although you can explain everything. This is where Im at right now.

Testimony collected by Ahmets wife, Yonca Verdiolu k

Photograph: Ozan Kose/AFP/Getty Images

Necmiye Alpay

Age 70

Profession writer and advisory board member at Ozgr Gndem

Charge terrorist propaganda

Time spent behind bars released after four months pretrial detention, trial still pending

Maximum possible sentence life imprisonment

Towards the end of August 2016, I was out of Istanbul when I found out that I was wanted by the police, together with the other members of the advisoryboard.

I was advised to give testimony. So, with my lawyer, we went to the prosecutors office where I was told that Ozgr Gndem is an organ of the [outlawed Kurdistan Workers party] PKK, and every name on its masthead is suspected of being a kind of terrorist propagandist.

I explained that I supported freedom of the press and freedom of expression, and I believed in a democratic and peaceful solution to the Kurdish problem, but that I didnt condone violence or terrorists.

I was arrested that day. The moment you say youre in solidarity, youre finished.

When you are put in prison you must spend one, two or three days in solitary so they can observe you. Perhaps theres a logic in this. My bed was clean and I was given water and soap. I slept a lot.

I was moved to the PKK ward. We were 21 or 22 women in the ward and I was happy to know them. It was the first time I was living with Kurdish people. It was quite easy to live with them because they had their communal rules almost like a student dorm.

I had been imprisoned during the 1980s after the military coup when the prosecutors used to request capital punishment. Now the requested punishment for me is life imprisonment.

We were accused of the same crime as Abdullah calan, the founder of the PKK. It is a kind of torture, to frighten you, a way of using the law to punish you for your opinions, for something you didnt commit.

The only evidence for our crime was our names published on the masthead. I was mad, but from time to time I was laughing, because it is a kind of farce.

When I was imprisoned my work was stopped. I could no longer continue the book I was preparing. But I tried to profit from the situation and began to learn Kurdish. I didnt cry in prison. Perhaps I should have, but no.

Perhaps the worst thing was the not knowing will we be free soon, or will we stay here? Its the same with Turkey today. We cannot be sure what awaits our country.

Photograph: Handout

Ahmet Altan

Age 67

Profession journalist, author, columnist

Charge attempting to bring down the government

Time spent behind bars five months and counting

Possible sentence three consecutive life sentences

My experiences in prison are writing themselves into a memoir which will become a book some day. I had a novel in mind before they put me here. I think of that all the time.

Three of us stay together in one cell. We only have a very small patio to walk around on. We dont see anyone else during the day.

I do not feel a physical danger from other inmates or the authorities. Anyone who would dare to threaten me physically should give up on themselves.

As I am held under the state of emergency laws, sending and receiving letters [or any written communication] is absolutely forbidden. We meet our lawyers once a week but all of our communication is verbal.

It is true that the charges against us are ludicrous. They make no sense but the problem is today that this nonsense has become the lifestyle in Turkey. It is as if I live on a desert island. I feel like Robinson Crusoe but I dont know if my ship will ever arrive.

Testimonies collected verbally by Ahmets lawyers and translated by Yasemin ongar at p24, a platform for independent journalism.

Photograph: Ozan Kose/AFP/Getty Images

Asl Erdoan

Age 50

Profession writer, novelist, columnist for Ozgr Gndem

Charge terrorist propaganda

Time spent behind bars released after four months pretrial detention, awaiting trial

Possible maximum sentence life imprisonment

I have been broken and twisted in more ways than I can imagine. I feel very damaged. The day I was arrested the police came and searched my apartment for seven and a half hours while I waited sifting through thousands of books and reading materials.

I was in a solitary cell for five days, only allowed one hour in the courtyard. You could go crazy after a while. I spent 48 hours without water when I first arrived. I was in shock which worked a bit like an anaesthetic.

The authorities try to make you not feel like a human being. Firstly its being behind bars, and when they come to talk to you they just open the lower hatch on the door. Thats how they give you bread too.

I was put in a prison ward with women accused of being PKK militants, because I was accused of supporting terrorism. I was arrested under article 302, but you would need to have an army, or be the founder of the PKK, to be guilty of what I am accused of.

I was very angry because it was so openly lawless. A newspaper cannot be a terrorist organisation and I hadnt written a column since 2013.

Plants were banned in prison, but some of the girls were trying to grow them in the bathroom anyway the way they took care of these plants was incredible. Then they were caught and begged to keep them. That made me cry.

When it was warm I would go out to the courtyard and practice ballet when it was free from 12-2pm. My fellow inmates found it a little strange, but it gave me a sense of normality. When I got a fever they took care of me like I was a baby.

I missed so many things . Walking without walls; listening to classical and jazz music; dancing; the earth; the sea. You cant see the sunset or sunrise, just a small piece of sky and barbed wire.

Being released [after an intervention from the European court] was an adjustment process too. I woke up nauseated and screaming on the first night. I found it hard to remember what coffee to order.

I recently went back home for the first time. I had been staying with my mother. My phone books and bank cards were gone. I broke down when I couldnt find my ballet slippers.

They had rummaged through everything. Everything was scattered around. I am someone who never throws out a scrap of paper from her apartment. It felt like I had been raped. I know they do this to writers now because they know how much it hurts.

Photograph: YouTube

Mehmet Altan

Age 64

Profession academic, author and journalist

Charge attempting to overthrow the government

Time spent behind bars five months and counting

Possible sentence three consecutive life sentences

We are three people in the ward [a different one to my brother Altans]. We cant communicate with our loved ones, let alone correspond with the outside world. We cant write letters. People cant write to us. What I am saying here has to be transcribed by my lawyers.

Although I have never felt in physical danger I have had to postpone all my existential emotions and ideas. We are contained in an environment where no needs of a mature mind are met. It is like wearing striped pyjamas. It is a very narrow life without any joy or feeling to it.

Should the rule of law reign in Turkey again one day I am confident that I wont be considered a suspect even for a second. I am a suspect now only because I demanded democracy.

Photograph: Ozan Kose/AFP/Getty Images

Erol nderoglu

Profession journalist, Turkey representative for Reporters Without Borders

Charge terrorist propaganda

Time behind bars released after 10 days pretrial detention, trial pending

Possible maximum sentence 14 and a half years

I was arrested because my name appeared as one of the editors of the Kurdish daily Ozgr Gndem on 18 May. In fact, I didnt edit the paper, nor had I read the articles; my name was there as a symbolic statement of support.

The day I was charged I went to court by myself, to see the prosecutor. His message was: We dont care whether this was part of a campaign. If you are defending media freedom, we are charging you with spreading propaganda in favour of the PKK.

I said clearly that the articles published about power struggles among the security forces and the ongoing operations against the PKK were in the common interest of the Turkish people. For two decades I have protected freedom of expression for all political factions. This was no different.

On 20 June I was detained and spent 10 days in two prisons an extremely short time compared to what some colleagues are experiencing.

I was released thanks to international pressure, which is now quite low as Erdoans diplomatic rows suck up the energy. While I wasnt physically harmed in jail, I was left with the feeling that my profession is no longer welcomed by the government and is perceived as a threat: journalists and civil society have been wiped out.

The hardest thing was when my wife and son came to visit and I could only talk to them from behind a glass wall. I was also surprised that I lost my muscles so quickly. Outside I am quite active.

People who have gone before me have been systematically convicted, and while I am still fighting my case it will happen eventually. I try to not dwell on it though. In this situation you are not yourself, but just one among all in this picture.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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