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ipsey · 8 months ago

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HI BESTIE I wanna see answers for all questions regarding Tansy x Clyde on the ask meme 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Whew, okay. But I want the same from you with Agnes x E-Boys

What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? In other words, what in particular had them like “Oh, they’re...hot...” Tansy was immediately attracted to Clyde. He's a big scary punk and he's way cooler than she is which makes her nervous. Clyde was attracted to her too, but because she was small and shy and nervous and not scared to stand up to him.

Does this change over time? What things do they find “hot” about their partner after they’ve been together for some time, and have had more time to, well, notice and appreciate? In the beginning when he was Nails there was the element of monstrous attraction (she still sobs about how she misses Nails when she's drunk because he was a really good boyfriend). But after his transformation to Artos she was really attracted to him too. She loves that he's patient and gentle with her, and they both like making things. She also loves that he's really protective of her and makes her feel safe.

By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of “I love this person,” but a moment that had them like “Oh...I adore them...”

When they danced in the watertower and he opened up to her about his past. Followed by when he babied Ivan the cat.

Does this change over time? What will always reliably make them melt with how much they adore the other character? Oh yeah she just gets more melty and stupid whenever Clyde shows how tender and gentle he can be. She also melts over his tattoos, and his scars, and whenever he wears ripped jeans.

How do they consciously realize that they like the other character? Does it take them a while? There was a time when Clyde was helping her find her sister when they were trying to keep things professional. She offered to meet him at a hotel in a snowstorm and was worried he was going to think it was a date, and about halfway through she realised she wanted it to be a date.

How do they react to the realization that they like the other character? Is it an “oh my god I’m never going to think about this again” thing, or are they pretty comfortable with it? Knowing she liked him was something she was comfortable with. Finding out he loved her hit her like a ton of bricks and she was entirely unprepared for it but jumped in feet first when she figured it out.

Do they (or would they) pursue the other character’s affection, and if so, how? Do they tell the other character how they feel? Try to earn their admiration? Woo them with romantic gestures? Flirt with them, skillfully or otherwise? Ha! Clyde saved Tansy from a giant spider monster and she was scared by it. He took her for burgers and they walked and talked and he confessed that she was cute and she blurted out that he could kiss her if he wanted to. They have been stupidly flirting with each other ever since.

What do they think about romantic love? Do they have baggage surrounding it? Do they idealize it? Is it an object of longing and wanting, or were they really not thinking about it until they started falling for the other character? What are their expectations like? Tansy struggled with romantic love before meeting Clyde. She always assumed shed end up with a boring life and was shocked that she met someone who loved her the same way she loved him.

What do they think about commitment? Is a long-term partnership the goal? Are they thinking about building a life with their partner, or are they focused on the present?

Its true love, baby. Together forever.

What scares them about entering a relationship?

Everything? Tansy is terrified of everything always. But Clyde makes her feel safe.

What fears, past traumas, etc. would be hardest for them to talk about with their partner?

Her relationship with her Ex husband Emmanuel, who she did not realise was her ex husband. They even have a child together! Its very complicated.

How much independence do they prefer in a relationship—do they want to share their lives as much as possible with their partner, or do they prefer to mostly do their own thing and let their partner do their own thing? Tansy loves sharing her life with her husband. They opened a business together! They fix things and make it possible for people to work together in the city. They broker deals between the different political factions in the city.

What is their go-to for making a partner feel loved? Wearing his clothes to bed. Eating the food he makes her. Listening to music. Curling up in his chair with him.

What makes them feel loved? Would they build up the courage to ask for it? She feels loved when he makes her food. She loves everything he makes for her. She loves sleeping beside him.

What, for them, constitutes a level of intimacy that they would only rarely share with someone? This can be physical, emotional, etc. Tansy has been an addict before, and she trusts her husband and only her husband to take care of her when she's fighting her addiction.

If they had the ability to just spend free time with their partner, what would they do? Would they go out or stay inside? They sit in the big chair and listen to music together while Tansy reads a book.

Under what circumstances would they want to be left alone by their partner? Tansy only ever wants to be left alone when it comes to Emmanuel and her friendship with her ex. Its complicated because their relationship didnt end well, but she still cares about him.

They’re going through something incredibly difficult—perhaps they’re very sick, have lost a loved one, or have gone through a traumatic event. Do they ask for or accept support and care from their partner, or try to isolate themselves? She loves Clyde, and he's the only one who's been there for her through all of the worst times of her life, so she takes his support when she needs it.

Are they okay with public displays of affection? Do they like them? They are horniness magnets and are constantly kissing or touching each other, in some form of physical contact, even if its not sexy.

When would they say “I love you?” Do they say it first? Do they say it often, or is it reserved for special moments? Technically she did say it first (and they say it all the time), but it was only because someone else pointed out they were in love.

If sex is something that would be part of a relationship for them, do both or either of them have prior experiences? If not, how do they feel about it? He had a son, and she was in an abusive relationship with a man before they met.

What does sex mean for them? Socially, religiously, what attitudes are they bringing with them? Is “virginity” something they care about? Do they want sexual experiences to occur within a certain “level” of relationship, or does that not really matter so much to them? They are horniness magnets and are incapable of keeping their hands off each other for any length of time.

How comfortable are they talking about, and openly communicating during, sex? Theyre always checking with each other about comfort levels and letting each other know what they want.

What would their partner do that would really turn them on, perhaps unintentionally? Tansy bites her lip and Clyde picks her up and carries her like a caveman.

They accidentally hurt or upset their partner. What happened? How do they respond? What do they do to make their partner feel better? Her relationship with Eman is always a sore spot, but its because of past behavior. They usually talk their frustrations out.

They have an argument with their partner—what is it about? Do things stay respectful, or is there some shouting and accusing going on? They argue about her relationship with Eman, and they stay respectful.

They have to apologize to their partner. Is this difficult for them? How do they approach it? If anything Tansy apologises too much to Clyde. She's nervous and awkward and shy but he makes her feel so comfortable.

How do they feel about the prospect of parenthood? Do they plan on it? How would they react if they suddenly found out they were going to be a parent? Tansy is terrified of babies and giving birth, and has said before she's scared of fucking things up. Clyde has a grown son from a previous relationship. Tansy has a daughter from her relationship with Emmanuel. Tansy and Clyde have three children together - Nur, non binary, and Grondel, their son, and Thistle, their fur baby (a cat).

What compromises are they making in their relationship? Mostly about emmanuel again.

What completely petty topic (music taste, favorite food) do they find themselves completely at odds with their partner about? Tansy becomes a big sobbing mess at anything thats too cute, specifically anything where clyde implies hes going to eat a cat. Curently she's very upset that Thistle doesnt know how to read, even though he is a cat and cannot read.

What little thing do they find incredibly (though harmlessly) annoying about their partner? I can't think of anything thats come up so I'll say she doesn't like having to wash his socks and underwear.

How do their friends react to finding out they’re a couple? Do they have lots of mutual friends? Did their friends know, perhaps before they themselves did? Their friends knew first, but most everyone has been incredibly supportive of their relationship, even her ex. His son and his son's wife arent fond of it.

Under what circumstances would they feel jealous? It doesnt occur to Tansy to be jealous. Clyde is Jealous when she spends time with Emmanuel (and she loves when he gets jealous and possessive of her).

Under what circumstances would they feel protective? Tansy protects Clyde's past, and Clyde is relentlessly protective of Tansy against anything that would hurt her.

Would they get a pet? What kind? Who brings up the idea, and who takes a little longer to convince?

They have two pets! Thistle, their cat who Clyde found under a dumpster, and Charlemagne, a Saint Bernard that she stole from the vampire wizards.

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daisyachain · 1 year ago

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When consuming works in translation or even cross-cultural works in the same language, your standard midwestern white US reader (and more broadly your standard anglophone) is going to bring their own cultural structures and impose them externally on the work no matter what. This is the weeb blog so we all know what I’m talking about.

One specific example of this is the way that white/anglophone/US cultural consumers treat male ‘femininity’. In US culture, it’s a truth universally known (by girls) that girls like a girly guy or at least that the male figure most attractive to female consumers (who make up the majority of the audience for fiction in the US whether or not they’re considered as such by marketing teams) is a figure that they can relate to. The floppy boy band member, the middle aged man with cooking skills, whatever. US/Anglo standards of masculinity are also bizarrely tilted towards performance. SoCal-type standard US culture is as misogynist as any other culture (ie it’s misogynist), it’s just that this misogyny has its own flavour of expressing itself. Everywhere does.

In the broad anglo milieu, any hint of personal grooming, self-awareness, shyness, emotivity, or non-ripped physique is interpreted as feminine. The skinny boy band member, the jeans-wearing metrosexual, the vegetarian, the fat kid who hangs out with the girls in gym class because that’s the path that is least likely to end in physical assault. These are all sissies. The merest lack of sufficient beer-n-bacon posturing is taken for wearing a pride flag. By US standards, a non-muscled man who wears even slightly fashionable clothes is [twelve year old boy voice] gayyyyyy. The standard homophobic gay stereotype is a finger-fluttering peacock who can’t stand to chip a nail.

Go over to eg Japanese culture (most commonly consumed works in translation in the US), the stereotype is completely different. The archetypical male heterosexual romantic lead isn’t a sleeve-busting hunk, it’s a skinny, floppy, long-haired guy with delicate fingers and sparkling eyes. The homophobic stereotype is a muscle-bound thick-jawed mascara-wearer. This doesn’t mean that the bishounen/ikemen archetype is necessarily considered feminine. On the contrary, it’s another masculine ideal. No one in the US could possibly (in the public imagination) aspire to be a patterned-tie fashionista unless he’s gay or foreign. But, overseas, the reserved and cutting-edge fashion-conscious man is revered as an object of female desire.

Well it’s not quite as clean cut as all that but you get what I’m saying. You can see it in the translation of ‘ikemen’ to ‘pretty boy’. The original just means ‘a hot guy’ the other is a homophobic insult 90% of the time, but English really doesn’t have an equivalent term. Also why 00s weebs just referred to ‘bishies’, it’s because there’s no English term for it that isn’t in some way homophobic. I’ve seen ‘hottie’ used as a translation as well, but that’s got its own baggage as it’s exclusively a term associated with women’s speech, so it doesn’t make sense to have male characters refer to it without coming off as overtly gay.

So that brings us to: it’s a common misinterpretation for the bishounen/ikemen characters or presentations to be read as ‘gay’ by a US audience. Viz. BTS fandom and haters, shippers, etc. This is because there’s no real equivalent to this concept in the US without homophobic overtones. The closest you might possibly get is ‘boy band member’, but that also has oodles of homophobia as all of us who were there for the Bieber era remember. Rather than ice-cold idols of female worship, the US interpretation of a bishounen is of a girly guy.

Except, we’ve gotten to the point where US consumption and regurgitation of foreign cultural tropes has is on its third or fourth cycle. People are now instantly imitating their favourite art as it comes out with the help of the internet. LoTR shows up in JJK. RWBY gets a mediocre 2D anime. And League, famous for being the midpoint of US cultural context and East Asian cultural influence, puts up promotional material for the character Hwei. Who seems to be made to fit into the line of bishounen characters that have been coming out of the League design factory (Aphelios, Viego, Sett, some Ezreal skins) but who doesn’t belong there at all and instead comes out as a startlingly straightforward (hah) design for a femme gay character

#kelsey rambles #god im so sorry to put all that preamble and have the punchline be: ‘league’#but it compels me!#the very midpoint between exchange and reworking and misinterpretation. League understands the concept of the heterosexual bishie well #and can reproduce it on demand which is why it’s so jarring to see the apparent misinterpretation be put up there as well #and because the gay overtones on hwei are missing from eg viego then it has to be deliberate. because if it were a misinterpretation #of the one trope they’re tryna hit then it would be on all characters

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biosblades · 1 year ago

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I’m always a little terrified to talk about my personal experience with gender for fear that the transphobes will take it and run with it as an example of how someone can “outgrow” being trans

I certainly don’t consider myself to be cis, but I’m not sure I’d necessarily say I’m trans either. More likely somewhere along the nb spectrum, but I have trouble pinpointing exactly where or finding a perfect label for it

I’m afab. When I was a toddler, my younger brother was born, which was when I learned about the anatomical differences between boys and girls. Friends, I, aged three (3) was seething with jealousy over this literal infant’s genitals. I didn’t know why, I just knew I really really wanted to look like that and it felt so unfair that he got to have a penis and I didn’t. I never told anyone, but that feeling persisted throughout my entire childhood. I’d tape any phallic looking objects I could find to my pelvis, I’d daydream about a fairy godmother turning me into a boy or freaky Friday style switching bodies with any of the boys I knew. This was early childhood, before sexuality was something I was even aware of and before I really understood what misogyny was or the societal advantages these boys had over me. I was just envious the appearance of their physical form, completely oblivious to how the organs even worked or what their function was. And I didn’t dislike being a girl. I embraced my femininity. I did ballet, I liked princesses and dolls and makeup. I wore dresses and skirts, bows and glitter and frills and anything and everything pink. I liked “boy” toys and clothes too. I had collections of trucks and dinosaurs and those monster truck dino heads on all terrain wheels. I could build hot wheels tracks and shoot nerf guns with the best of them. But I didn’t want to be a boy. I played with my brothers and “tomboy” friends, but I was perfectly content with my girly name and pronouns. I had all the girl power shirts and pencil cases and thought nothing of it. I didn’t even dislike my own body per say, I just liked what the boys had going on better.

That all changed with puberty. I was horrified when I saw those images of female development. I wanted nothing to do with it. As soon as the first signs started showing up, my self loathing began. Suddenly all I wore were loose clothes from the boys section. I started wearing boxers because little girls’ underwear was too childish, but I couldn’t stomach the idea of going into the teen girls’ underwear stores. I started hanging out with only boys. Everyone, myself included, thought I was crazily attracted to them. I was obsessed with the way their bodies were responding to puberty. I stared at them and followed them everywhere. I copied their every move, played the same games, watched the same shows and sports, wore the same clothes. I knew I wanted to be them and I was so so jealous of the fact that I was growing up to be hideous with stupid boobs and hips and they were getting muscles and facial hair and were so beautiful in comparison. But compulsive heterosexuality combined with the prevalence of teen girls hating their bodies made it seem normal. Misogyny had become incredibly prevalent in my life, so I thought I was just physically attracted to them and the feeling of envy was derived from the societal privileges they had over me. Those around me have remarked upon that period of my life as being my “pick me” phase.

As I got deeper into adolescence, I learned about the existence of trans people. I’d somehow never realized before then that changing your gender was even an option. And it was a tempting one… my daydreams became focused on the idea that if I could just push through to adulthood, I’d start T and get all the surgeries, undo all the damage puberty had done to my body. I kept lists of names I could go by instead in my diary. I couldn’t bear the idea of growing up to be a woman, but the idea that maybe I didn’t have to gave me hope. I used every ill advised binding strategy in the book and cut my hair short. A stranger “misgendering” me would fuel my confidence for months after the fact.

Then, when the pandemic hit, everyone’s idea of gender shifted. Suddenly, defying gender roles seemed so mainstream. So I started experimenting with painting my nails, wearing makeup, wearing girls’ clothes for the first time since I was 11. And I didn’t mind it. I’d even go as far as to say I liked it. Now that those things didn’t mean, under no uncertain terms, association with womanhood, I found I actually didn’t hate them. As people started erasing the idea that names and things were inextricably tied to gender, I found I didn’t mind my feminine name so much anymore. I could suddenly appreciate the fact that it connected me with my family’s culture rather than feeling restrained by its gendered connotations.

Now, I look more like a cis woman than I ever have before. I technically use any pronouns. The realistic result is that everyone uses she/her because I present female. It doesn’t necessarily offend me. But every once in a while when someone doesn’t it still gives me that spike of euphoria. I haven’t taken any hormones or undergone any procedures. Mainly because I’ve realized how logistically complicated it is and I can’t take that on right now. If I could magically move into a man’s body, I would in an instant with zero hesitation. But I hate my own body less than I did when I was younger. I know how to dress to de-emphasize the feminine proportions. I don’t mind dresses, so long as they aren’t the mermaid style ones that really draw attention to curves. I love how I look in the poofy dresses that completely hide your figure. And while I know from an outside perspective those fluffy dresses make me look way more girly than jeans and a tee, I personally feel like my gender, whatever it is, is perfectly affirmed by them.

From the outside, it looks like I outgrew my tomboy tendencies, my internalized misogyny, and my adolescent awkwardness.

Internally, I feel more satisfied in my nonconforming relationship with gender than I have since childhood. I’ve really unpacked whether it was internalized misogyny at play, or some effort to dodge the brunt of facing the hardships of being a woman in this world. And while I’ve concluded that it’s impossible to completely remove those factors, that was never the driving force in my discomfort. I’m not even attracted to men at all, so I wasn’t trying to get their attention by copying them. I was using them as a guide to bring out my own masculinity. If I had endless resources there are things about my body that I would change, but I’m no longer completely unable to conceive of a future in which they aren’t changeable. I think I’d identify as somewhat nonbinary even if I could change everything. I don’t exactly want to be a man. But I’m able to look like a woman externally, be perceived as a woman by most people, and yet for the first time in my life I’m comfortable enough in myself to know that those things don’t have to make me a woman.

Anyway, I haven’t been “cured.” I’m not a woman. I used to think of myself as a girl and now I don’t, so I’m actually more gnc in that sense. I’m able to accept that some traits of mine aren’t inherently tied to my sex, nor do they have to be. I rejected them because even though we live in such a strictly gender segregated culture, my clothes and hobbies don’t have shit to do with my personal idea of what my gender means to me. And that’s what really matters, not my great aunt Caroline’s insistence that only girls can like pink so anyone who likes pink must be a girl. Might transphobes still use my journey as their fodder for further hatred and discrimination? Maybe. But I’m still not cis. And I’m still a trans ally through and through. Any attempt to use this story as “proof” that gender nonconformity is just a phase is actually just proof that those people didn’t actually understand me or my story at all.

Anyway, thanks to all the people who put in the work deconstructing our society’s very narrowed ideas of what gender means. Thanks to everyone who normalized neutral pronouns and the idea of existence outside the gender binary. I never could’ve existed this comfortably within myself in 2015 or 2016. And as our ideas of gender become more flexible, I hope more people can find their self actualizing interpretation of who they are, whether that’s done externally with gender affirming treatment or internally via rejection of the mortal flesh

The hardest, but most important, part of my transition has been untangling what my personal dysphoria is, and what is more a result of cissexism.

What I mean by this is that I learned that I am not dysphoric about certain aspects of myself, my body, and my life, but my discomfort in these aspects was influenced by the cissexist culture I live in which told me I couldn't exist as myself.

It's definitely a slow process, but I have found that it helps me self-actualize and actually see myself instead of what others demand of me.

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pridewhatpride · 4 years ago

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Asmodeus Alice is gay (and clearly in love with Iruma) and the anime honestly supports a trans reading, too.

Here is my proof, considering that no, I have not fully caught up with the manga yet.

The manga really doesn’t shy away from having Asmodeus publicly praise Iruma and showing that he is far more reserved when he is not involved. It’s not necessarily a good thing, but it does read as very cute. There is a lot of love and trust between the two and it grows stronger and becomes more and more mutual as the series goes on. That is sort of the base level. We know Asmodeus admires Iruma to death for apparently the wrong reasons, but actually he clearly grows to love the human Iruma, demon powers or not, because of his personality and how he affects the others around him in positive ways, he himself included. He is the first to scold himself for not giving Iruma full credit for his worth, initally.

But that just makes him a friend who is just very attached to the one he admires.

Right.

So we have the blushing and sparkles any time Iruma does anything, and I mean ANYTHING, even when it isn’t directed at him. In the panel I’m showcasing the situation is more serious and heartfelt, but Asmodeus does still react exactly like any other love interest would to this impromptu hug.

Then we have the fact that Clara is explicitly in love with Iruma, but her and Asmodeus have the exact same thoughts about him- by which I mean they share thought bubbles on how cool and awesome and dependable Iruma is and how much they trust him. They fight over him because no, actually, I’m Iruma’s friend number 1, I was here first. Parallel n°1.

Parallel n°2 is Eiko, because she and Asmodeus are buddies who share candid pictures of Iruma with eachother- again Eiko has an explicit crush on Iruma (and on Ameri- but that’s besides the point).

Finally, best girl herself, Azazel Ameri. She’s Parallel n°3, but really only because of this one really funny chapter in which she and Asmodeus are at a high-society party, where we see that Azz is really smooth and comes off as cool when talking to girls because he’s not attracted to them even if they are all over him, that he’s good at ballroom dancing (I wanted to mention it) and, finally, that he and Ameri agree on the effect of Iruma’s company. They are both lovestruck.

Then, as further proof we just have the absolute pinnacle of romance that is the fact that Asmodeus was supposed to be hot shit and the best student, but met Iruma and decided that his powers would find better use as Iruma’s right hand (before the word friend was introduced he straight up called himself his servant). You know. Why be king if you can aide your beloved friend on the path to becoming the undisputed monarch of hell.

His objective is not to gain power or to become stronger- those things are intrumental to his one and only ambition: to stand proudly by Iruma’s side.

That is, in my opinion, at least a little bit gay.

There would be a lot more to talk about because it’s just so evident and in literally every dialogue and interaction, but I just wanted to gush about it a little. That’s all.

Now, for a sequence of panels that speak for themselves (premise being that Asmodeus is rampaging):

#mairuma #mairimashita! iruma kun #welcome to the demon school iruma kun #iruma suzuki #suzuki iruma #iruma kun #amodeus alice #alice asmodeus #iruazz

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elvensorceress · 3 years ago

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The Definition of Love and All Things Ineffable

buck/eddie | 29.2K words | rated: T | complete

Summary: post s5 — In which Buck processes his breakup, learns his place in his family, has a huge crisis of sexuality, and finds the truth about love beating in his own heart.

Buck doesn’t have words. There are no words. Fuck, he doesn’t want to seem like he has a problem with it, but. How? How is this even possible? How is Eddie gay? How does he know?

Why has this never come up before? Even a little?

Buck has to say something. He has to try. He licks his lips and he couldn’t shut up earlier, why does he have no response now? It doesn’t bother him. He’s had plenty of gay, bi, pan, etc… friends. He’s had sex with men before. A few times. It’s not that different. It’s not that big a deal. The sex part anyway.

The point though is that it’s fine if his best friend is gay. He doesn’t have a problem with it. “What— what made you. Think that? Or decide that?”

Eddie smirks a little. “I’m attracted to men. That was pretty much the deciding factor.”

Buck pokes the side of his calf. “Yeah, well, I’ve had sex with men plenty of times, and I’m straight.”

Eddie looks at him in a, maybe not shocked sort of way. But confused at least. “Plenty of times?”

“You know I used to… you know. Sleep around. A lot.”

“With men, too?” It doesn’t sound judgmental. But it still has that same confused tone.

Was it that weird? Doesn’t everyone experiment? Or consider experimenting? What did it matter when it was two or more consenting adults? Sex was sex. “Yeah. I love sex. I needed— It was a whole thing. Probably unhealthy at times. I wanted anyone who would have me. I’ve slept with a lot of people just because. Sometimes, it involved other men. Or nonbinary people. I didn’t care.” He shrugs and it made sense at the time. Does it not make sense? “I don’t know. Women are hot. Men are hot. People who don’t fit into either category or both categories are hot. Sex feels good. I never cared about semantics if someone wanted to fuck.”

Eddie’s mouth opens, closes, and he drops his arms and thoughtfully rubs his chin. “And you’re straight? You consider yourself straight?”

“Yeah? Maybe?”

“Maybe?” Eddie sounds incredulous.

“I haven’t thought about it. I don’t think about it. It doesn’t matter.”

Eddie holds up both hands like he’s unarmed. “Far be it from me to tell anyone else what to call themselves. God knows how long I spent fucked up over it. But maybe you should think about it. Just a little more.”

Buck huffs. They were talking about Eddie right now, not him. Buck really didn’t want to think about it. He likes women. That means he’s straight. Having sex with someone didn’t mean you were necessarily attracted to them.

Men are really hot though.

Like. Really hot.

Some of the most fun times he’s had with sex were with other men. But making someone hard and feeling so vividly how he was wanted? Turning another man into a blubbering mess because Buck loved feeling a dick down his throat and loved how he could make someone fall apart with how good he was sucking cock?

Sucking cock is just objectively fun.

Eddie should know. If he says now that he’s attracted to men. Not that all men have dicks. And having one doesn’t automatically make the person a man. Just. Eddie is attracted to men.

Has there been a specific man? Or is it men in general? Is there someone Eddie wants? Someone he’s been with before? Someone he thinks about?

Buck doesn’t know what to think. He doesn’t want to think. He’s not bothered by it. It’s not that. It’s just too much to think about.

#buddie #buddiefanfiction #911fic #911 fic #911 #jenwyn fic #bisexual disaster version golden retriever

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superfics-forone · 3 years ago

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Just Friends

SUMMARY: Sam asks the group who they think are the “hottest” members of the team. You don’t make the cute for Bucky’s top five.

Bucky x TALL!Reader

W/C: 5,800

WARNINGS: angst, swearing (like two f bombs), cannon level violence, Bucky being an idiot (it’s a warning), physical insecurities, fake science

A/N: I wrote this because the top 5 situation actually happened to me IRL and when you don’t make someone you like’s list, it sucks. Also, this is in no way meant as being against people who are smaller! I am just a tall/plus size woman and sometimes that really makes you feel like you’re unattractive to people because you don’t fit the gender norm. Let me know what you think! I’m pretty new at this so I’d appreciate the feedback!

Also, HUGE shout out to @princessmisery666 for being so patient and supportive! Thank you for being my beta! Your comments were so incredibly helpful!

The best part about working with Bucky was that you got to see him everyday. The worst part was that you were constantly reminded that he wasn’t attracted to you.

You knew you were a good looking woman, people would often tell you that. It usually happened when you weren’t necessarily feeling your prettiest. Somehow that made it worse. Others would compliment you but he never would. Even when you knew you looked good- like you had put in extra effort and actually tried that day- still he would give you nothing.

You sat across from him in the common room looking at all the other Avengers wondering why he didn’t feel the same when you finally got your answer.

“Alright man,” Sam called out to the group. “Top five, let’s go.”

“Top five?” asked Clint, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. “Top five what?”

Everyone looked back to Sam, - “Top five on who you think is lookin’ most fine”.

“You want us to rate each other?” You asked incredulously.

“Naw, man!” Sam replied. “I want to know who you think are the top five most attractive! Male and female!”

You slunk back into the sofa, both curious and terrified of the conversation to come.

You heard huffs from the others but no one objected. Vision went first and of course he could only answer with; “I believe all of you are inherently lovely. I couldn’t possibly pick a top five of those who I find to be most attractive.” As soon as he finished and the room was no longer focused on him though he leaned over to Wanda and said something in her ear that made her blush.

You brought your cup up to your lips to hide your smile. You loved how happy they were after having been through so much heartbreak.

Sam went next, “Imma say, Wanda, Nat, Gamora’s got it goin’ on…for an alien…Hill - don’t tell her I said that- and…Y/N,” he said throwing you a wink.

You smiled but shook your head with a roll of your eyes. You knew the only reason he said your name was because you were in the room. He was trying to be kind. Men didn’t seem to be actively lining up to be with you…it might have something to do with them being intimidated by you being an Avenger but who could possibly know

“Sam you would think anything with legs that gave you the time of day was hot,” Bucky shot.

The others laughed but Sam shot back, “alright, Tin Man, who’s on your list? Okoye?”

“Yeah for one! I would be dead before I could make a move but sure! She’s dangerous and stunning!” He took a swig of bourbon as if he was done.

“Alright then who else?” Wanda leaned forward winking at you.

You shot her a warning look. You had only told her how you felt about Bucky once on a drunken night after finding out he had gone on date with another recruit. Jealousy had reared its ugly head and she could feel your angst that night. You had asked Wanda how; “A tiny little thing that would barely hold her own in the ring,” could possibly catch his eye. It was as if the only thing he saw you as was an ear to listen to his problems and a soldier he could rely on in the field. You had seen them together multiple times since then and every time it pained you more.

She was everything you weren’t. Barely five foot, two inches tall with a skinny frame to match, and a nicely formed backside. In reality you couldn’t be mad at Bucky. He deserved to be happy. He was your friend and you wanted that for him. You just wanted that particular happiness too.

“Okay, okay!” Bucky’s hands came up in surrender as he finished his drink and leaned back to think, He sat so close to you his left bicep of his folded arms brushed yours with every breath he took.“Okoye? Sure…uh… in no particular order…Wanda, Nat, Darcy, and the little woman, Kris, from reception.”

“It seems, Mr. Barnes”, said Vision, “that you prefer mates who are significantly smaller than you. I do believe that of that group, Wanda is the tallest one.”

“Which isn’t really saying much because I’m only five, six”, she complained.

“The perfect height my dear.” Wanda smiled at that and kissed Vision’s cheek .

You took another long sip of your drink as you registered what had been said. Your stomach soured as you finished the glass. Not so much from the alcohol as from the realization that the man who you had secretly been pinning over didn’t even list you as attractive enough to make his top five.

You felt like you knew why. It was just too much. You weren’t small and dainty like those on his list. You had big bones and a can do attitude. You wouldn’t take crap from people. And because you were so tall you could come off as intimidating…or so some men had told you.

“I’m going to get another drink,” You whispered to no one in particular.

But Sam really couldn’t read a room and he called you out. “No, no! Who’s on your list Y/N?”

“Oh no!” You said dryly. “I’d have to be much drunker for that conversation. For now, I'll keep my opinions to myself.”

You spotted Bucky’s surprised face before you made your way over to the bar. The conversation carried on behind you as you refilled your glass. Thoughts of Bucky’s revelation clouding your mind. You were never going to be good enough for him because you were just too big. Too tall. Too much. He liked the smallest, most petite women in the compound. Feeling your emotions swelling,you decided to grab the bottle and made your way quietly out of the room while the ruckus continued.

Once on your floor you closed the door behind you with a forceful slam, “FRIDAY!! Lock the door and don’t open it for anyone!!”

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N.”

The rest of the night was spent on the floor in your sweats drinking from your bottle of whiskey and feeling sorry for yourself and all the things you couldn’t be because of biology.

You weren’t sure if it was a drunken stupor or your imagination but at one point you could have sworn you heard a knock only for it to go away just as quickly.

…

The next day you had an awful hangover and didn’t get out of bed. Bucky came to your door for your normal morning run.

“Tell him I’m not going, Friday.”

“He would like to know why, Miss.”

“Tell him it’s my time of the month.”

“Your time of the month was last week, Miss.”

“Who’s side are you on, Friday? Just tell him I’m sick.”

“Very well, Miss.”

It was silent for a few moments and you had thought that would be enough to get Bucky off your back for now.

“Mr. Barnes would like to know if you’d like to see Dr. Cho, Miss.”

“Uuuugggghhhh,” you rolled out of bed and marched over, irritated that the one person you didn’t want to see was at your door.Pulling it open with a huff you practically screamed. “What?!?”

“Woah!” Bucky jumped back startled at your disheveled appearance and puffy eyes. “I just want to make sure you’re alright, doll. You didn’t come back last night and you never answered the door when I came to check on you.”

So there was a knock last night.

You couldn’t look him in the eye as your eyes filled with tears again, this time with shame. “I’m fine, Bucky.” You started shutting the door quickly and he stuck his hand on it preventing you from closing it again.

“Y/N…what’s…”

“Bucky, I just need some rest okay?” You cut him off, “I’m fine. I promise I’ll be right as rain tomorrow.” You smiled weakly.

Bucky searched your face as if trying to find what you weren’t telling him in your eyes. But you were an Avenger and you knew how to school your features to show nothing.

Bucky sighed and shook his head, “alright, doll. I’m here if you want to talk about anything.”

“Yes, fine,” you said pushing him out the door. Your eyes had flooded with tears again. You didn’t look up to see Bucky’s hurt and concerned face as you closed the door again and put your back to it.

You held your breath listening for his footsteps to retreat before sinking to the floor and crying.

…

The next day was an all out avoid Bucky day. You weren’t sure you could take the questions and worried looks he was sure to give you. Instead, you decided that what you needed was time away from such temptation. And so, you went in to ask Steve for an overseas long assignment.

“You sure about this one, Y/N. It’s a 9 month solo mission. It’s going to be long and it’s going to be lonely.”

“Yes. I’m sure. I need some time to myself.”

Steve looked at you with understanding and pity. He could see how you felt about Bucky even if he couldn’t get his best friend to see it as well.

“Alright,” he said, “suit up. You leave in 2 hours.”

South Africa wasn’t the worst assignment. It wouldn’t take long for you to get the information you needed. And the separation from Bucky would be good for you.

You finished checking your last weapon and loaded it as well as a pair of throwing knives, a gift from Bucky, into your duffle before looking around your room one more time.

You headed to the door and almost made it out until the picture of you and Bucky on your dresser made you stop. Picking it up you smiled at the memory of the minor league baseball game you’d attended together. You had won tickets and no one else was available that night. When you’d offered the tickets to Bucky you couldn’t believe that he said yes! It was the true start of your friendship, talking about life and how much it had changed for him but also how little it had changed for you. He couldn’t believe it when you started singing all the words to “I’ll never smile again”.

“You think I don’t know music? I’m quite cultured, Mr. Barnes!” You had said with a laugh.

“I never said you weren’t, sweetheart!”

Coming back out of your revelry with a start you put the picture back down on the dresser and turned to the door. You were going to get over this infatuation, even if it killed you. Supposedly time heals all wounds. Well you weren’t sure if there was ever going to be enough time but you could get distance.

…

Hours later Bucky came in to tell you about the relationship problems he was having with the girl from reception. She just didn’t seem to understand him and kept picking fights. You had become his confidant and had saved his relationship once before so would most likely be able to do it again.

He was almost to your room when he noticed your door was ajar. Slowing he moved closer and pushed it in silently. The room was neat and quiet. Your bed folded nicely as though it was always that way.

Bucky knew that you never made your bed until you were right about to get in it. Or unless you were going on a trip.

Checking carefully he started to notice things missing. Your favorite slippers were gone. Your tooth brush and favorite stuffed animal turtle were also missing. All of the things that you felt you had to have with you were gone.

Then he saw the picture frame on the dresser. Picking it up he too smiled at the memory, then frowned. It was still here. You almost always took this with you. Why was it still here but everything else you held of value was gone.

“Friday, where is Y/N?”

“Miss Y/L/N has volunteered for a mission, sir.”

“Where?”

“That information is classified.”

“Okay, when will she be back?”

“That information is classified.”

“Alright, who else went on the mission,” he asked hoping whoever it was would have your back.

“All other Avengers are currently in the compound.”

“So she went by herself?” Bucky fumed.

“That information is classified.”

“Damn robots!”

Bucky stormed out and found Steve in the kitchen.

“Where did you send her, punk!

Steve didn’t even look up from his newspaper, knowing exactly what his best friend was talking about.

“She’ll be fine, Buck. She just needs some time to herself.”

“So send her to Fiji! Not a solo mission!!”

“This is her call Bucky. You’ve got to trust her.”

Bucky spun on his heel and headed to the computer lab. He knew he was being irrational but if no one else was going to look after your well-being then he was going to have to do it himself.

It took him all day but he finally unencrypted the files for your mission. You were to carry out a recon mission in Port Elizabeth on a supposed Hydra base. It was a far cry from Fiji but you wouldn’t be in immediate danger.

Still he came in everyday to check in on your reports and find out how the events in the country were progressing. He had even convinced Torres to help him set up notifications to his phone if something were to go wrong. He had, very nicely, threatened him with knives if he didn’t set up Stark’s satellite to keep an eye on you.

After three weeks he was really starting to miss your company. Every time he went out with Kris from reception he realized that she just wasn’t as interesting as you. They didn’t have the same camaraderie and chemistry as the two of you did.

So when his phone dinged at 2:30am he looked at the notification. It was a satellite image of you on your apartment porch drinking coffee. You seemed at ease and calm at your small table. Your hair down and wearing a long red dress. He went to the live feed of the satellite but when he did you weren’t there.

Bucky refreshed the page again thinking it may be just an error. But his rising heartbeat made him think differently. When the screen came back he noticed the upturned coffee mug and the newspapers on the ground.

Bucky flew from his bed and raced down the hall to the command room. Steve and Tony were already there, still in their pajamas.

“…it’s not as if she has a tracker in her, Stark!”

“Well maybe she should! Maybe we should make it a standard issue! Everyone gets a tracker! Friday! Make a note!”

“Yes sir.” replied the AI.

“Tony, we need to focus on the…”

“Where is she?!” Bucky growled.

Both men turned around in surprise. Steve recovered first, his eyes sympathetic for his friend’s worry. “We’re not sure, Buck. These images were only taken 4 hours ago.” He clicked to zoom in closer, “but we did get this.”

He zoomed all the way into the kitchen window behind where you’d sat drinking coffee, where a face reflected in the glass. Bucky looked on in rage, hands in tight fists, as the image became clearer and Zemo came into focus.

…

You awoke with a start, unaware of your surroundings. You sat on a bed in a bare room with a single one way mirror. A metal chair sat by the wall and you noticed no handle on the door. Trying to piece together what had happened you recalled your last memory.

A beautiful morning, the sun shining on the water, a freshly brewed cup of coffee. You sat in your apartment in Port Elizabeth, a pain in your neck…

“Zemo,” you whispered.

“Ah, you’re awake,” said the speaker above you. “I’m sorry about the dramatics but it was necessary. You’re a very important piece of the puzzle.”

“Let me guess,” you said as you rolled your eyes. “You don’t like the way the world is being saved by the Avengers and you think you could do better.”

“Actually I want something else, мой дорогой. I need you.”

“What?” you cried befuddled. “Why on earth would you need me?”

“Do you know what TX-39 is?”

“Yes, I have an entire codex of arbitrary numbers logged away in my brain,” you retorted.

Zemo didn’t pause at your sarcasm. “TX-39 is the compound used to create nucleotides that bond onto nerve endings. By doing so they suspend brain signals stopping all neuro function and rendering the subject immoble. Something you have experienced first hand. By combining a nanotech inhibitor with this nerve ending your subject’s direct motor function is now open to...suggestions.”

You sat astounded as you registered what he had told you. You looked down at your hands but you didn’t feel different. There was no way something like this could work.

“What better way to get rid of a super soldier than to create your own?” Zemo said. You felt a slight buzz in your spine as you stood up quickly trying to resist. Running to the mirror you pulled back your arm, ready to punch your way out, but an inch from the glass your arm stopped. “Ironic that the Soldat will come to save you, only to be the one who needs to be saved.” With that you felt the electricity in your spine disappear and your body was your own again.

Frustration built within you as you sat back on the bed for a moment processing his statement. Your face became more and more incredulous until finally you burst out laughing. You continued laughing harder and harder at the absurdity of Zemo’s reasoning.

“You think I’m the one he is going to come after,” you laughed. “You think you picked the right mouse for your trap? You’re going to wait a long time if you think he’s going to come and get me.”

During your first few weeks away you had missed Bucky fiercely. Leaving him behind so abruptly had felt like severing a part of yourself, but the last few weeks had been good for you. You had forgotten what it was like to rely on yourself. You had grown into yourself again and had realized how little Bucky had actually cared for you when he never came to find you. He hadn’t so much as picked up the phone after you had left. It was as if you had never existed in the first place.

“Bucky doesn’t care about me,” you said sardonically. “He never has. We are barely even friends.You picked the wrong mouse, Zemo. ”

“We’ll see, дорогой,” and with a click he was gone.

Your brain shifted in and out of the conversation with Zemo. Looking down at your hands, you prayed it wasn’t true. You knew that what had happened at the window was real but you didn’t want to believe it. You had been turned into a weapon to hurt your friends. To hurt Bucky.

Crossing your arms over your chest you laid down on the bed, rolled over to face the wall, and cried.

…

Avengers Compound

“There is a five mile radius around Agent Y/L/N last known location,” said Fury. “Two man teams will sweep the area in a grid formation while the drones scan for energy signatures. Any questions?”

All those around the table sat silent, but nodded confirmation of their understanding of the objective. Fury looked around the room, “This mother fucker took one of ours and I wanna know why. Let’s get going.”

Bucky stood up from the table and made his way out of the room to the Quinjet hangar. Steve pulled on his arm before entering the plane. “I know what’s going through your mind right now Buck, but we are going to get her back”.

Bucky looked at the ground before raising his eyes to his friend. “He knew how to get to me, Steve. He always knows where to hurt me. He couldn’t use you. You’re too difficult to overpower. So he had to pick her. I just,” Bucky wasn’t sure how to finish his thought. Words never came easily to him and he wasn’t sure he could really express what he was feeling. “I just want her safe.”

After you had left Bucky felt hollow inside. He hadn’t realized how much joy you brought to his day with your smiles and jokes. Always knowing what to say, or at least, what he needed to hear. Your departure made him realize he needed you. Boarding the jet Bucky knew that no matter what happened he was going to tell you how he felt.

…

The team had been sweeping through the city for what felt like hours and there still hadn’t been any developments. Walking through another alleyway Bucky scanned the cobblestone streets. He was beginning to lose hope at ever finding you at all when he saw an uneven line in between two buildings.

Pressing his comm link he called out, “Steve, I’ve got something. I’m going to check it out.”

“Bucky, wait for backup. We’ll come to you.”

Feeling along the wall Bucky felt a draft between the cracks. Unholstering the gun at his hip he pushed against the wall feeling it give way.

“I’m going in. Follow my location.”

“Bucky, wait!” Steve called.

Bucky ignored his calls and continued down the dimly lit hall. The walls opened up to a staircase leading down to a command room. The musky scent of decay and scotch filled Bucky’s nostrils.

“Privet, Soldat,” Zemo called from the darkness.

Bucky whirled around to find nothing.

“Have you come for your little mouse?”

Still searching, Bucky said nothing as the sound came from a different corner of the room.

“Have you realized how much you miss her?”

Bucky circled again, coming up to a window.

“I wonder what it is? Is it her sweetness that draws you? Or her willingness to see you for more than the killer you are?”

Bucky frowned. Zemo was playing with him.

“Or have you realized that her fire is what draws you to her? She does have a talented tongue. I’ve seen her put it to good use,” Zemo provoked. “I have enjoyed having her in my company, but it seems you really never appreciated her spirit, did you?”

Bucky continued searching the room as Zemo continued his monologue. Coming up to the computer he saw a paused video feed. It played as soon as he stepped forward.

Bucky saw you in a room, still in your red sundress. Your hair was matted and you had the look in your eye of anger and exasperation. When you spoke, Bucky felt the wind rush out of his lungs.

“Bucky doesn’t care about me,” you said sardonically. “He never has. We are barely even friends.”

“A pity she never saw you care, but I suppose it’s only fair that you tell her now.”

The door beside the window clicked open with a beep. You came out of the cell with a look of wary surprise on your face. “Bucky?”

“Now is your moment, Sergeant Barnes. Why not tell her how you feel before it's too late,” called Zemo.

Bucky holstered his gun and walked toward you. “Y/N? Are you okay? Come on, let's get out of here.”

He grabbed your hand and turned to go but you were rooted to the spot. Your breathing became heavy as you felt the tingling sensation in your spine again.

“Bucky, I need you to leave,” you cried, dread dripping from your voice.

“What? No,sweetheart, come on! I’m not leaving you.”

“Bucky, I…” you started.

“Last chance to declare yourself, Soldat.”

Looking up in anger, Bucky yelled. “Shut up, Zemo. I’m not performing for you-” Bucky’s head turned in surprise as you punched him across the face. “What the hell, Y/N?”

“It wasn’t me!” you cried as you dropped and kicked his legs out from under him.

Bucky rolled over quickly to pick himself up as you followed him swinging punches at his head and kicks to his stomach. Your moves were both erratic and efficient as they landed multiple times. It was all Bucky could do to block your assault and move out of the way.

“This isn’t me!” you cried again between punches. “Zemo is controlling me with nanotech!”

Bucky threw up an arm to block your punch before flipping you around by your arm and pressing you to the wall. He didn’t want to hurt you but he was pretty sure that it wasn’t the most comfortable position.

“It’s okay, Y/N. We’re going to get you out of this.”

Your foot kicked his leg and you pushed yourself over and around his head and away from the wall. Grabbing the knife at his hip as you slipped out of his grip, you threw it into his thigh.

Bucky looked at you in surprise and annoyance. “Sorry!” you winced. Pulling the knife from his leg he tossed it to the floor.

“Look, Y/N. I’m not going anywhere, but try not to kill me, okay?”

“It’s not like I’m doing this on purpose Bucky!” you huffed as you charged at him.

“Well I’m just trying to get you out of the problem you put yourself in!” You had grabbed another knife and went to stab him. Bucky caught the knife and twisted your hand but the knife snagged your dress and tore the skirt as you fought to wrestle it away.

Your eyes flared with anger and the next punch you threw had a little extra heft in it.

“That I put myself in? How about you, Mr. Barge-into-a-room-with-no-back-up!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you liked being saved! Although you’re one to talk! You came on a mission without backup!” Bucky rolled across the computer console out of the way of your next kick, getting agitated at your attitude.

“Because I needed space!” you yelled as you followed him around the computer desk.

“Space? Space from what?” Bucky yelled back, actually throwing a punch that you easily evaded.

“You! You idiot!” it burst out of you as you came up swinging before pushing him to the ground.

Bucky looked up at you with his eyes wide. You had him straddled under your legs. Bucky brought his arms up to block your punches while he tried to talk to you.

“Why would you need space from me? I don’t understand. You left without warning, without saying goodbye! Your mission was classified so I had to hack F.R.I.D.A.Y to even find out where you were!”

Your body was starting to fatigue from the strain of the fight as you continued to land blow after blow. You were fit and well trained but because your body was not your own you were blowing through energy rapidly. Your breaths were coming in short gasps as your chest heaved at each punch. If you kept this up, you weren’t sure how much time you would have before your body gave out entirely.

“Y/N, you left a huge gap! You were my best friend and then you were gone! You wouldn’t even talk to me before you left! You didn’t tell me you were leaving. I couldn’t even call you because the mission was supposed to be classified!”

Maybe it was the fatigue, maybe the hopelessness you felt, but you gave him everything you had left as you pummeled into him. Frustration over your situation, frustration at him, frustration at yourself built up inside you.

“I WILL NOT BE YOUR STAND IN! I will not be second best. I can’t look on anymore as you find someone smaller, cuter, littler to fit perfectly into your life! I deserve to be wanted! I deserve to be desired!” you screamed at the man beneath you as tears streamed down your cheeks.

Bucky finally bucked his hips and flipped you under him, pinning your hands to the ground next to your head.

“Get off of me! Let me go!” you had finally had enough. The damn had broken and your emotions and insecurities raged inside you. Your body pulled and twisted to break free from his grip.

“You do deserve to be desired,” Bucky said calmly as he caged you beneath him. “You are nobody's stand in. You’re perfect just as you are.” He wanted to say more but it was all he could do to keep you pinned under him.

The team burst down into the control room to see you openly weeping and Bucky on top of you.

“Nat, I need you to put an electric burst in my arm.” Bucky said looking up.

“I’m sorry, you what?” asked Nat.

“Just do it!” he said as you fought harder against him.

With a nod from Steve, Nat waved her baton and zapped Bucky’s arm causing both of you to scream in pain. When your body finally stopped seizing, the lack of adrenaline and the pain and fatigue caught up to you and you passed out in Bucky’s arms.

“You want to explain why I just pushed fifty thousand volts through you two?”

“Zemo infected her with some kind of nano tech. She hasn’t been in control this entire time.”

Steve scanned around the room. “Alright team, fan out. See if you can find out where Zemo went. I want teams down here with sat links up in 30 minutes.”

Bucky circled the gears around in his arm to get it up and running again before scooping you carefully off the ground.

“Buck, get her on the next jet out. Dr. Cho and Banner will be waiting for you to get back.”

…

For the second time you woke up in an unfamiliar place, and struggled to get your bearings. You felt like you’d been run over by a pick up truck and tumbled through a dryer.

Feeling slowly returned to your hands as your eyes opened and your vision cleared. You were in one of the medical rooms at the compound you realized.

“Look who decided to wake up,” said a gruff voice.

Turning your head you saw Bucky sitting in the chair beside you. He looked fresh and his eyes twinkled at you.

“Bucky,” you croaked as you tried to sit up.

“Woah there. You just relax. Your body is still trying to catch up from Zemo’s nanites.”

You slumped back down in the bed as Bucky leaned forward to take your hand.

“You had me worried there for a minute, doll. You’ve been sleeping for days. Wasn’t sure when you were going to pull through.”

“You doubt me, Barnes?”

“Not for a second, sweetheart, but I sure as hell missed you.” Bucky smiled, then looked down for a moment as if trying to find the right words. “We need to talk about why you left, Y/N.”

“No, Bucky, I...it doesn’t matter.” You say looking away. “It’s not important.”

“I don’t know, I’d say you thinking you don’t matter to me is pretty important.” You turned to look at him sharply, mouth open in a small gasp. “And I’d also say that you thinking I don’t find you desirable is pretty important too.”

You sat in shock as he spoke, not wanting to break the way you had during your fight.

“Y/N, you are perfect. You knew me before I even knew myself. You light up the whole room just by being in it. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You are strong, independent, kind, and gentle. You’re like a tall Asgardian goddess. Every inch of you is beautiful. I thought back to the last time we talked...before you left, and I realized why you did. I know why you thought I wasn’t attracted to you. That night, Sam’s list,” he paused as if pained at the memory, “I didn’t add you because...well, because I was so confused at how I was feeling. You were my friend. I didn’t realize till it was too late that I was already falling in love with you. And I most definitely didn’t want to give Sam anymore ammunition.”

You looked up at him sharply when he dropped the L word.

Bucky stood to reposition himself on the edge of your bed. Taking your face in his hands he leans forward until your foreheads barely touch. “I didn’t want to ruin things with you. You were my friend. You were perfect and I thought you deserved better so I ran to find something that was everything you weren’t. You are my perfect fit. You are just right. You are the only person I want. Please tell me you’re mine. Please tell me I haven’t lost you.”

You brought your hand up to rest over his as you let his words wash over you.

He wanted you. He thought you were beautiful. All of you. All of the parts people had told you were too much: your height, your attitude, your independence - he wanted it all.

You did something that you wanted to do for months, you brought your lips up to his softly and gave him a chaste kiss. “I was always yours Bucky,” You pulled his hands down and pushed him away to look into his eyes, “but I won’t be taken for granted anymore. I shouldn’t have to leave for you to want me. I shouldn’t have to be gone for you to realize what you had. I left for a reason. It was to find peace with myself. I realized that I didn’t need your approval. I didn’t need your desire to be whole. I won’t settle for someone who can’t see what’s right in front of them. I know my worth.”

Bucky looked at you sorrowfully as he held onto your fingers, memorizing their shape. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t enough.”

“I know, but it happened. I don’t need you to be happy, Bucky...” Bucky hung his head in dejection. “...But I do want you.”

Bucky looked up at you sharply to find your eyes full of love and warmth. You wanted him. Even after all that happened - how he forced you away, how he made you feel like you weren’t good enough, you were still willing to forgive him. You wanted him even with all his faults.

You brought him closer for another kiss and savored the way his lips fell across yours. Breaking away to look up at him you said what you had been holding in for months, “And I love you too.”

Tags: @princessmisery666 @dreamwritesimagines

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #avenger reader #angst #tall girl problems

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nellynee · 3 years ago

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Trollstopia Blindblogging: episode 7b: Buckin’ Branch

Really can’t help themselves can they? The dressing is nice, but it’s still a “Branch can’t catch a damn break” episode. perfectly enjoyable across the board, from humor to song to lesson. Just... perfectly fine. Competent. Branch and Country centric for those who care. 3.5 out of 5 take it or leave it.

(Well shoot, Tumblr crashed on me before I could save a draft at about the 5 minute mark of the episode, so it’s gonna be a little trimmed down but we’ll try again shall we?)

if that title isn’t a minced oath I don’t know what is

Thank you, James Cordon, for that lovely, ear piercing note. I legit had to turn down the volume it was actually painful

Noted, we’ve seen this valley before. I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a regular hub of budding commerce, or if it’s just that they can’t think of a good place for pop village scenes other than “A valley” but it is noted. seeing some hand crafted looking pottery... some clothing...a Funk Troll peddling pies.... that Creek lookalike in the bg....

Cocoa to go go

I mean I heard it before they even said it but they still said it

Branch going all Indiana Jones is so flipping cute. Just imagining sad little Baby grey Branch using it as one of his few forms of play alone... in the woods. OW

Biggie you have an extender arm for hair.... Biggie

fucking look Branch did it Biggie

Ok Trolls you win my new Starbucks order is “Cocoa to go go”

Do I think “Cutie Patootie” is Holly Darlin common vernacular? Yes. Do I think Holly genuinely would be down to clown if Branch showed even a smidge of reciprocation? Also yes.

For real though ever since Satin and Chenille got hot under the collar over a wet and shirtless Branch in TBGO I’ve hard headcanoned that Branch has the Troll equivalent of very fine bone structure. He’s got a lot of room to clean up, but is also kind of just objectively attractive as a baseline.

Oh he’s weak to being called special I’ma cry!

“Does that answer your question?” “uuuuuuuh?” that kinda confused shrug on Branch was really well animated. Like there’s a whole ass rotation in that

Branch’s outfit is so stupid cute I love it! He has no shoooooes!

Poppy looks like she’s about to bust a nut trying not to laugh

That’s so mean Poppy he’s just looking for the validation and sense of community he lacks in Pop village!

For real though I think Branch would find something in Country that he wouldn’t find anywhere else. Not the connection to “sad music” ala the movie. Or at least not necessarily. Really I believe that all the tribes, specifically all but the “traumatized in such a way that they’ve created a culture of faux and aggressive happiness to combat it” Pop Trolls have multifacets to their music that could speak to others including Branch’s complexity. Country was abrasive and sorta violent and a little vitriolic when we saw them in the movie. I like to imagine that among all that aggressive southern style comfort and hospitality is a lot of passive aggressiveness. And from that comes a more friendly sort of ribbing and sarcasm and jabs as inside jokes. It’s using antagonism as inclusiveness. I think he’d find real connections there, and an ability to explore a side of himself that’s shut down very quickly in Pop village

I swear to god if Gust or Holly call someone or thing else special and break Branch’s heart I’m gonna break them over my knee

A very good point for the young'uns. Just because Poppy has called Branch special before doesn't mean it’s got the same meaning to him. Context matters

Her look of horror when she almost calls that troll special is hilarious

“There’s no way he’s using that lingo right....” “Nope”. That’s a big part of the humor of this show. Most shows would write his vernacular off as “lol southern sayings are so long and complicated you can’t even parse them isn’t that funny?” But this show looks suspension of disbelief right in the eyes at this really obvious not jokes and goes “That was weird? Wasn’t that weird?” And yes it was. Even if you don’t laugh, you will get a sense of... comradery from this show? It’s a big point of why it’s been so enjoyable

Pinata lassoing, greased balloon pig catching, adora-bull hugging (aka bull riding). These are all super cute and creative. I especially love the greased pig balloons

Branch at fluffy: awwwwwwww. me at Branch: awwwwwww

It’s Ok Branch. It happens to a lot of guys. Just a little performance pressure is all.

Oh noooooo pooor baby nooooo why were there three of them?

Branch’s musses up hair is a look and I’m here for it

That's a much milder panicked note James Cordon thank you

oh no.....

Gust.... real quick I need you to come meet someone.... real quick don’t worry this is only gonna hurt a lot for a very long time

Ok that is cute tho Biggie’s little hat and his little excited attitude it’s not his fault

That was legit a really good action scene! Branch backing out when it got to much instead of doubling down and causing more trouble, Fluffy’s design, the lack of physical comedy, Fluffy’s little smile at that smooch.

“I know, I’m just as shocked as you are.” Pffffft ok yeah that got me

Me: furiously scribbling Country notes into my “Biggie is a lullaby Troll headcanons”

James Cordon you are hereby revoked of your cowboy accent privileges

Not what I was expecting for a lesson. Most usually settle for “Yeah I’m not good at this thing I was passionate about and other people are and that’s ok” But shifting over to “Just because it takes you more work than other’s to get the same results doesn’t mean it’s not worth while” is a refreshing take. I do think that a tiny bit of rework, just a few new lines or some shuffling (Gust or Holly mentioning trying again next year, how they’re sorry he didn’t have a lot of time to train, mentioning Biggie’s experience with animals...) could have made it very solid and cohesive, but it does actually work unlike some lessons

#Trollstopia #dreamworks trolls #Branch #Holly Darling #gust tumbleweed #liveblogging

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leviiattacks · 4 years ago

Note

How about Levi x reader, where they get set up on a blind date by their friends as a prank, but actually end up liking each other

note :: honestly not my best at all but it was cute i guess T___T kinda an opposites attract thing also it’s a modern au !!

for some reason hange and sasha wake up one morning and decide they want to wreak havoc

it’s not peculiar coming from them

after all they are always up to something

like the one time sasha purposefully trapped herself in an elevator with a hot guy

or the time hange tried to make coffee with an energy drink mixed in it??

OR-

okay you’re getting sidetracked

but the point is they have no real reason for this new venture of theirs

when do they ever have a reason though?

somehow today their scheming has led to them begging you to go on a blind date

“he’s not my type i mean he’s old and whatever but you would like him” sasha’s stuffing her face with a buttery croissant

she doesn’t sound very convincing

then again, you have no objections to the idea

you’re single

you’re lonely

if it doesn’t end in love well ??? guess you could fuck

and if you don’t fuck well ?? you got to go outside and get some fresh air

BUT

the idea of blind dating makes you squirm

the uncertainty which comes along with the situation is intimidating

honestly, part of you is worried you’ll end up making a mortal enemy at dinner, not a lover

the other portion is petrified you’ll end up on a date with a murderer

what if it ends up like that one netflix show and you end up getting stalked????

you shudder at that thought

BE OPTIMISTIC Y/N!! YUP YUP OPTIMIST ERA!!!

levi feels the same way but his version of nervous is very different to your own

his fears are very different

what if his date appears prim and proper but it’s really just a huge facade hiding how their house is a pigsty?

imagine the third date in is a movie night in and he walks into a landfill site...

what if his date chews their food obnoxiously loud?

what if they just dislike him?

that’s why ideally he would prefer dating someone he knows beforehand

but there’s no one he knows already that he’s interested in

that’s exactly why when hange calls levi and asks him if he’s willing to go on a blind date on such short notice he scoffs and tells them that maybe if they got a life they would know that his answer is a straight no

he’s used to people not pairing well with him

he guesses it’s because of his sardonic personality, maybe it’s his occupation - he is constantly busy after all. perhaps it’s his foul mouth

erwin told him the last time he had a date that he should probably ease up on the cursing but it’s levi...

he isn’t going to change for anyone.

and really if him being little mean is that much of a deal breaker he won’t bother looking for anyone

he’ll go it solo he supposes

“LEVI. PLEASE. you both would fit together like jigsaw pieces.” hange is practically begging

then they stop for a second and wiggle their eyebrows “that can have many alternative meaningssss~”

levi purses his lips and shoots them a hard glare

“shut it, i’m not going. i’m busy.”

“busy doing.....?”

“cleaning i need t-”

“NO??? do it some other time please they’re smart, fun AND not boring at all.”

hange gives him a pleading look then explains how his mystery date has already agreed for sasha’s sake and he really can’t stand you up

“you want me to go on a blind date with one of SASHA BRAUS’ friends????”

he looks at hange in utter disbelief because that means you just have to be loud mouthed and annoying like jean or connie

or just be as stupidly unfunny

he shakes his head rejecting the idea completely

“i enjoy sophisticated people.”

hange sighs heavily

“give it a chance! c’monnn what if i bribe you?”

little does levi know hange and sasha have purposefully picked you out because of the way you’re both polar opposites

where levi loves order you’re disorderly, where he follows his own rules you don’t follow any at all, where he is disagreeable you’re agreeable in every way of the word

where he is cold, you are warm, he’s a night owl, you’re an early bird, you’re day and he’s night

everything about the two of you is different

that isn’t necessarily bad, but sasha and hange find it hilarious enough to set you both up on this date

if it fails it’ll still be funny

you’re rummaging through your closet looking for your favourite perfume because to be frank you are NOT showing up unprepared

like?? what if he moves in to hug you and he smells the scent of the chicken you were cooking today

yeah you did have a shower but sometimes you wonder if the smell lingers

you KNOW it doesn’t but it’s a matter of principle

imagine he leans in and smells marinated chicken

you think you’d die on the spot if that were to ever happen

shoving a pack of mints in your purse along with your emergency pepper spray you give your outfit a once over

it’s nothing too extravagant but it’ll do the job

at this point, everything is great! you’re walking out of your door and you’re pumped up

you’ll be early for once and there’s a spring in your step

making a good first impressions is key here

you’re so close to your uber BUT

then you hear it

it’s almost inaudible but you’re sure you hear a mewl come out of the alleyway to your right

you’re about to ignore it because you aren’t even sure if you’ve heard it correctly

and it’s late you don’t feel like wandering into an empty alleyway

but the sound only repeats itself

fuck.

cautiously venturing inside you see it.

eyes softening you look at the stray kitten in front of you and bite your bottom lip and scoop him up in your arms you’re debating if running back to your apartment and leaving him there is the best option

what’s the other option?

well you could bring the cat along with you...

it would be a funny story for the future if the date goes well

now. unlike you levi is nowhere near late

in fact he’s ten minutes early waiting promptly outside of the restaurant in his white button up

he fiddles with his collar and wonders how the actual hell he got talked into doing this

hange offering to buy him cleaning supplies free of charge is probably it

8:15pm, you were meant to be here five minutes ago

if you’ve stood him up he’s going to end hange for wasting his precious free time

especially when he rarely interrupts his schedule for anyone.

a few moments of silence pass and he thinks

how do you look?

not like it matters to him

but he’d just like to know

okay, so.

it’s 8:30pm now

levi is royally pissed off that you even have the audacity to show up

you’re holding your knees as you puff in and out

“I’M SORRY. i know i’ve wasted all your time but i saw a stray on my way here and i couldn’t leave him”

the updo your hair is in is disheveled and fly aways stick out

you’ve ran here after your uber broke down that much is obvious.

to be fair, your explanation is believable and he would have let it slide if and only if

you had NOT brought the fucking cat along with you???

he’s eyeing it with disgust as it purrs up against you and you coo at it stroking its fur

“you want to sneak a cat into the restaurant?” he asks in pure disbelief

sheepishly grinning and scratching the back of your neck your response is “well i know we can’t but if you tried to i wouldn’t mind because i really like this cat :-(”

when hange said he’d have fun they were lying

but at least they didn’t lie about you not being boring.

he picks the cat up with one of his hands

looks it in the eyes

sighs then places him carefully into your purse

“don’t let him be seen.”

you light up and try to hide the grin forming on your face

he isn’t that bad

he’s a little too serious for your liking but you can handle that.

the two of you walk into the restaurant and fuck you because the cat has to start mewling and screeching

coughing rather aggressively to cover it up it miraculously goes unheard

he shoots you a sturdy glare because he’s able to hear the muffled sounds

luckily, no one else is standing near you or is within earshot.

gulping you realise this is not a good first impression at all

late to the date, bringing a cat with you, begging him to help you sneak the cat in

you feel guilty, he probably expected way better

“oi, move your ass” he snaps

you look up realising you’ve been too lost in thought to see levi walking in front of you

“sorry” you mumble

he doesn’t respond but he does look back at you

you can’t gather anything from his face because it’s either plain or he’s got his brows furrowed

currently it’s showing no signs of distaste so he must be accepting your apology

he’s kind enough, steps out of the way to offer you the space to sit down first

he sits after you and you have no idea where to look

then the cat cries again from your purse

“lucifer, shhhhh”

you’re patting him and try to silence him

“you’ve named it already?”

laughing to yourself you’re happy he’s initiated the conversation first

“he’s a little sneaky so i called him it. do you have any other names you’d like?”

“why would my input in this matter be relevant?”

“you’re basically his family now!”

he’s covering his mouth with his hands and you swear you can see the pink tinge of a blush creep upwards and flood his cheeks

but this man doesn’t seem like the type to blush over anything.

composing himself he sticks a hand out and finally asks “what’s your name?”

coming back to your senses you realize it’s been twenty minutes since you’ve met and you haven’t even had the manners to ask his name even after arriving late

“Y/N!! what’s yours?”

play it cool!!!

he doesn’t respond instead stares at your purse and points with his index finger

lucifer has escaped again and now you really are regretting bringing him along with you

whilst you’re grabbing the cat and hushing him your date hums “try to guess it.”

well, that’s spontaneous, he doesn’t seem like the type to entertain himself with games

you think hard, he’s serious but he is kind, you guess that’s why he reminds you of sebastian from the little mermaid

get it? because he’s sweet but he’s a crab so he’s crabby??

god that joke is AWFUL because it doesn't even take into account the actual character of sebastian the crab

but you have no other guesses available.

“hmm... sebastian?” you jokingly ask

“it’s levi.” he deadpans.

oh wow you couldn’t be more far off

playing around with your fingers in your lap you fidget nervously looking around for a waiter to interrupt the conversation

levi has to sense your unease because his tone loosens up

“...do i really look like a sebastian though?”

looking back up at him your bite your lip keeping a giggle in

you can sense the ghost of a smile on his face

“yeah like the crab from a little mermaid”

at that he scowls but he inquires what exactly that means

the rest of the date goes without a hitch, sure there’s a few moments where lucifer attempts to sneak away but levi has no problems stopping him

it takes a while but the conversation flows easily after the awkward barrier from before is broken down

it’s lighthearted and calm.

he’s humorous in a way you can’t describe

levi’s mannerisms are cute, everything about him is endearing despite the serious front he has

and you can’t quite put your finger on it but his demeanor is charming

overall you find yourself enjoying the date even more than you expected

now the two of you are walking away from the booth and the fresh night time air hits your face as you step outside

turning to him you smile radiantly and without allowing him to get a word in you take your opportunity by the reins

“second date?”

you don’t normally make the first move but you’re eager

and to your surprise he’s just as eager as you are.

it doesn’t even look like he stops to think before he nods and agrees to meet with you again.

exchanging numbers with him you wave as you and lucifer part ways with levi feeling satisfied

and to his shock after you leave it settles, levi thinks he just might enjoy your presence

well, that’s a first for him.

he guesses what they say about opposites attracting is true

#levi #levi ackerman #aot #snk #attack on titan #attack on titan levi #aot fanfiction #levi headcanons #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi scenario #levi fanfiction #levi fluff #leviiattacks #modern au #modern levi

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 4 years ago

Text

Meeting and Dating Zeke Tyler

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(I have a lot of thoughts about this greasy little man and the way he acts with girls)

- Zeke Tyler had been driving you nuts for as long as you could remember. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration. He’d been driving you nuts for as long as you’d known him; that was more accurate.

- Freshman year, that was when it had all started. You were a year younger than him and had been the target of his harassment since the day you met him. You couldn't go a day without him blatantly making fun of you, trying to embarrass you or making suggestive comments towards you just; what you could only assume was, to make a fool out of you.

- You tried your best to either avoid or ignore him, mainly staying quiet since you were on the shy side; something that probably contributed to his eagerness to mess with you. Anytime you tried to respond, he found it amusing. Any curses or insults you’d give him back, or your telling of him to leave you alone, we’re all delivered in vain.

“Come on y/n/n, when are you gonna let me take you out?” He’d tease with a smirk and you’d just know that he was only messing with you.

- The thing is, you couldn’t have been more wrong. All his propositions and invitations were genuine, Zeke just didn’t know how to deal with his feelings for you.

- It was easier for him to be a jerk and sarcastic with you, that way he could have an excuse to be around you whenever he wanted and pretend like he wasn’t hurt when you’d inevitably reject.

- Because of course you’d reject him. He was a burnout before he even had the chance, a drug dealing senior who’d been held back a year. Hell, his parents didn’t even like him. Why would you?

- Funny thing is, as much as he tried to be a dick to you, even you could notice the occasional cracks in his façade, though you’d tend to try to write them off.

- An increasingly obvious crack was the fact that no one else was allowed to treat you the way he did. The minute someone else tried, he’d jump to your defense and turn on them, giving them shit or just telling them to leave you alone. He was possessive over his victims, yay!

- Okay, to be fair and honest and all that: You didn’t hate Zeke. You didn’t necessarily like him or the way he treated you, but you didn’t hate him. There was even a part of you that felt a strange attraction towards him; as much as you didn’t like admitting it.

- Which is something you ended up making known to him one day after school when you happened to be the only people left in the building. You were at your locker, he’d approached you and after he teased and once again “asked you out”, you finally spoke up.

“Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?” He’d grinned in response, waiting eagerly for your reply.

“Act like a jerk and then try to take me out. Why would I go out with you after you mess with me all day?”

“So you’re saying that you’d go out with me if I was nicer to you?” He’d asked lowly, taking a step closer as the two of you locked eyes.

- You stuttered out an objection before saying a flustered goodbye and making your exit. He should probably thank you for that advice one of these days.

- Taking your advice, Zeke “acts nice”; in his own special way. Instead of being a total jackass, he acts teasingly kind to you: always greeting you and asking how you’re doing, exaggeratedly opening doors for you, all but pleading to help you with things. He’s obviously still sarcastic but it’s …less obnoxious. It’s after a week or so of that, that things finally come to a head.

- You were sitting outside in the hot sun, trying to do your chemistry homework while having no idea what the fuck it was talking about. Finally, you'd just about given up, putting your face in your hands while trying to get a grip before you completely lost it. That was when a quiet voice rang out from in front of you.

- Obviously, it was Zeke and before you knew it, he’d taken your pencil and done the problem for you, telling you how to do it in a few easy steps.

- A bit shocked but more than grateful, you thanked him quietly. He gave you a small smile and began to straighten up again, but just before he did, he met your eyes once more and asked if you wanted to hear something funny.

“I could have graduated last year, you know? …I mean if I wanted to, I could have, …but I didn’t. And I mean, I guess it was for a bunch of reasons but one of them ...one of them was you,” He’d started, looking away from you and to his hands which were resting against the table. “And I’m sure that sounds really stupid, but it’s a fact. …I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like you ..a lot, and I want to know, in all seriousness, if you would go out with me.”

You froze for a moment but just as he was about to leave; figuring you were going to turn him down like always, you’d responded with a “I’m free on Friday.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ll pick you up at eight.”

- The two of you go and watch movies at his house for your first date. His parents are rarely ever home and that day was no exception so the two of you had the whole house to yourselves.

- It was just after the first movie ended that the two of you shared your first kiss. He was settling back on the couch after popping in the second film when the two of you locked eyes. He slowly leaned in, his hand moving to gently brush against your cheek before his lips met yours, soft at first before becoming more passionate.

- The movie was quickly forgotten about as he lowered you back against the couch. It was only until a loud scream erupted from the television that you were snapped out of your daze. You finally pulled away, gently holding his face in place and shyly mentioning that you should “probably leave it at that”, causing a grin to spread across his face.

- It’s safe to say that after that, the two of you were officially addicted to each other.

- Zeke really doesn’t whether people are watching or not, if he wants to hug or kiss you in public then they “can look away like normal fucking people”.

- Handholding. Well, you’re sorta just holding his sleeve most of the time but that’s just how Zeke is.

- Hugs from behind. He usually ends up nuzzling his face into your neck whenever he does.

- Hairline kisses. He’ll pull you closer and give you one whenever you're leaving for class.

- Soft kisses. As cocky as he acted, when you first started your relationship, he was always really nervous when going in for a kiss.

- Cheek strokes. They’re the barest, featherlight touches you’ll ever feel but they’ll still make your heart race.

- Getting swept up in makeout sessions.

- Hickeys. He doesn’t really care about placement but if you protest, he’ll leave them in more hidden areas.

- Zeke takes it personally when you don’t want him being affectionate with you. He’s the boyfriend that asks what your problem is when you keep letting go of his hand or shrugging off his hugs/arm.

- Please cuddle him. He likes to occasionally pretend like he doesn’t like it or is annoyed by it but he sure as hell doesn’t let you go when you go to pull away.

- Him falling asleep on you. He’ll lay his head on your lap with his arms wrapped around your waist while you run your fingers through his hair or down his back.

- You get a few nicknames and pet names from him, usually things like sweetheart, Princess, and babe.

- He genuinely likes when you call him pet names. He’ll usually roll his eyes at you but then he’ll look away and try to hide his shy little smile afterward.

- Honestly, Zeke is really cute with you most of the times; especially when you’re alone together. Nose boops or rubs, forehead presses, sweet teasing comments. On the inside, he’s just a softie who really wants to be loved.

- One day, he just took off his ring and slipped it onto your finger while he was playing with your hands. He told you to keep it when you asked about it ...so consider that a promise ring because that’s what he secretly considers it.

- Massages. He’ll use any excuse to touch you honey; especially if it can lead to something more.

- Wearing his jersey. That is ...a kink, and that’s all I’m saying about that.

- Sitting on the bleachers and watching him practice after he joins the football team.

- Sharing food.

- He likes hearing you talk; it doesn’t even matter what about. You could be talking about completely meaningless bullshit and he’d be perfectly content with listening to it. He’s sort of just happy that you want to tell him things, and he just likes your voice.

- Book talk. He may or may not have found a secret love for literature purely because you were interested in it and in his English class.

- Zeke’s a smart guy, he just doesn’t try, so you tend to make sure he studies and actually does his assignments.

- Jokingly teasing him about his glasses.

- Hanging out in his lab with him.

- The two of you frequent school storage rooms and closets. You occasionally help him steal things but more often than not, the two of you just makeout in there.

- Going to junkyards and smashing stuff.

- Lighting off fireworks with each other.

- Bonfires.

- Watching somewhat amused as he plays pranks on and makes fun of people. You keep a bit of a leash on him and make sure he isn’t too much of an asshole.

- Sitting on his car in the parking lot together.

- Keeping him company as he smokes.

- Free drugs and free *all his other inventory*. That being said, he’ll occasionally refuse to give you something because he cares too much about you and doesn’t want to fuck up your life. He’ll usually say something like “you don’t want this” or laugh and tell you he “isn’t giving you any” when he does.

- I’m convinced that Zeke would actually be really good at calming people down from panic attack purely because of his history with drug users. If he can handle a doped up tweaker, he can handle you.

- Getting little surprises left in your locker, he may or may not pick your lock to put them there. But hey, if you ever need to get into someplace, he’s got it covered.

- He sort of thinks it’s funny to scare you, usually with his driving.

- Going on death rides in the middle of the night.

- Sneaking out to see him. Given the way Zeke is and; likely, his general reputation, your parents probably aren’t fans of him, and even if they were, they probably wouldn’t let you go out with him at midnight.

- Honestly, he sort of likes when you insult him; as long as it doesn’t hit too close to home. If you call him an asshole, he’ll probably just pull you into a kiss as he smiles.

- He makes sure that no one walks all over you; especially if you have a habit of apologizing for no good reason, he won’t let his girl be anyone’s doormat.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to no one. Just get in the fucking car.”

- I’m sorry but your boyfriend is a really jealous guy; mainly because he’s insecure and oftentimes feels like he isn’t good enough for you. He’ll ask what you were doing whenever he sees you with other guys and won’t forget about it unless it’s obvious that you aren’t interested in them and they aren’t interested in you.

- Zeke would wholeheartedly fucking ice an entire room full of people for you and that is the honest to god truth. The minute someone acts even the slightest bit antagonistic towards you, he’s on there ass like he’s your guard dog.

- Surprisingly enough, you and Zeke rarely ever have serious fights. More often than not, you just bicker with each other before settling things fairly quickly.

- When things are more serious, he’ll argue and curse but he hardly ever yells, unless he’s raising his voice for emphasis. The only problem that really arises when you’re fighting is the fact that he thinks it’s amusing or hot when you’re angry so he just can’t take you seriously a lot of the time.

- Zeke’s a bit of a jackass so he’ll corner you/pull you into secluded places and not let you leave until he speaks his peace when the two of you have had a fight. That being said, he does offer you a genuine apology after doing so, and usually pulls you in for a kiss once you’ve forgiven him.

- He tells you he loves you quite a bit, albeit really casually, like when you’re saying goodbye and he just says “love you” without thinking. He does get a bit embarrassed when it’s in front of other people though.

- He likes to imagine that the two of you will stay together no matter what happens but when he thinks about the future and all that comes with it, he gets a bit nervous. He thinks he’d make a shitty father; because of his own parents, even though he’s sort of really cute and good with kids.

#zeke tyler imagines #zeke tyler imagine #zeke tyler headcanons #zeke tyler headcanon #the faculty imagine #the faculty headcanons #the faculty headcanon #the faculty imagines #90s movie headcanon #90s movie imagine #90s movie headcanons #90s movie imagines

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blackjewles · 4 years ago

Text

Practice

Summary Below:

Hiya! So I got this idea. I ship Kaminari with a lot of people. Jirou, Sero, and Shinsou. So I thought, I could combine two of them. In this piece of writing, Kaminari has a crush on Jirou and is planning on asking her out soon. However, he’s scared that she’ll try to kiss him. It’s not that he doesn’t want to kiss her, it’s that he’s never kissed anyone before. So, he complains to Sero about it. Sero then offers practice like a good friend would. This is significantly more KamiSero cantered than KamiJirou, btw.

*NOT SMUT!*

Kaminari flopped down onto Seros floor and sighed, loudly, and noticeably. At first, Sero didn’t say anything. He kept his eyes glued on his video game in front of him and his fingers flew across his controller. He was in a aggressive mode of concentration.

“Sero,” Kaminari whined and reached in his direction, “Hey.”

Sero cleared his throat and quickly said “Just a sec, ‘bout to beat this level. Then we can talk.” Kaminari clicked his tounge and flopped his hand down on the floor.

After a few minutes, Sero whisper-shouted a victory announcement and saved his game. Then, he placed down the controller and relaxed more comfortably on his bean-bag.

“What’s up?” Sero asked, placing his hands in his hoodie pocket. Kaminari sat up to sit next to him, leaning against Seros bed frame. Then, he spoke.

“Well... I like Jirou, you know?” Kaminari sighed.

“Yeah, you talk about her like- all the time.” Sero stated. Kaminari chuckled.

“Shut up,” he said playfully, “Anyways. I like her- a lot. Okay? And I want to tell her.” He continued.

“Dude, go for it. She *totally* likes you back.” Sero encouraged. He then adjusted his position so that he was laying down, looking up at Kaminari.

“No man, that’s not the problem. I hope she likes me back- well- I think she does but...” Kaminari trailed off.

“But...?” Sero encouraged him to keep going.

“Yeah- but I’ve never kissed- anyone- before...” Kaminari mumbled, looking away slightly embarrassed.

“That’s it?” Sero asked bluntly. Kaminari nodded. A few seconds of silence prevailed until Sero got up. He padded over to his drawers and searched through. He then grabbed a small white container and opened it, three white objects in a pill shape spilled out. He put one in his mouth, one back in the tin, and handed one to Kaminari.

“Mint?” He asked. Kaminari grabbed it and popped it in his mouth.

“Thanks.” Kaminari whispered, unsure of what Sero was doing. Sero then sat down and inhaled deeply. He was preparing an encouraging speech.

“Well, I think it’s totally normal to be nervous. I mean- I was nervous for my first kiss so I totally get it. But really, as long as you don’t like- lick her face, I think you’d be totally fine! It’s not like you’re gonna make out with her right away.” Sero chuckled at his own joke. Kaminari laughed aswell, however, he was stuck on one thing Sero mentioned.

“You’ve had your first kiss?” Kaminari asked, the tips of his ears ever so slightly red. Sero nodded.

“Huh. Didn’t know that. Well, thanks man. But I can’t help but worry you know?” Kaminari looked down at his hands, he moved them for emphasis.

“How do you- do it- like, I know it’s not hard I just don’t know how.” Kaminari complained, he then pursed his lips in a classic kissy-face. “Obviously, you’re not gonna do it like that, so like- how else?” He complained further.

“Well yeah-“ Sero began, laughing, “You obviously don’t do that.”

“Yeah. I know.” Kaminari leaned his head back, and set his hands down in his lap.

“I guess I’m just scared I’ll fuck everything up. I wish I had more experience. Every girl I’ve asked out has said no, or, they just flirt for a bit and leave. Jirou, she- she’s the only person I actually think has ever liked me like I like them.” Kaminari added, sounding slightly more troubled. Sero tapped his shoulder to get him to look at him.

“You won’t fuck up.” He reassured. Kaminari shrugged it off, he didn’t believe him.

“Well,” Sero began, Kaminari looked up to hear what he was going to say, “Kiss me then.”

Kaminaris eyes widened and he sat up straight. Suddenly, his face, chest and neck all got hot. Kiss Sero? The thought made his breath hitch. Kaminari didn’t necessarily like Sero in the way that he liked Jirou, however, he couldn’t help but be nervous at the offer. Sero was a pretty boy, after all. There was no denying that.

“But you’re-“ Kaminari started, nervously.

“Straight?” Sero asked, Kaminari nodded in reply. Sero scoffed,

“Who cares if I’m straight. It’s not like I’m kissing you because you’re in love with me, I’m just doing you a favor.” Sero replied, Kaminari rubbed at the back of his neck and looked away. He was trying to get the obvious blush he had to go away.

“Oh- you don’t have to man. No pressure.” Sero added. Kaminari shook his head, almost too urgently.

“No- it’s okay. I think practice might be good.” Kaminari admitted.

“Yeah, practice.” Sero said, testing out the words in his mouth.

“Well. First of all, don’t do that stupid thing with your lips you did earlier.” Sero said, adjusting himself so his body was leaning towards the blond. Kaminari laughed and nodded, feeling a little less uncomfortable than before. Kaminari also adjusted so he was facing Sero.

“Oh and, I’ll initiate it. You can worry about how to initiate later. And close your eyes, please.” Sero added to his instructions. Kaminari nodded, and closed his eyes. Something about the word “later” though, made his throat close in ever so slightly.

Then, there was an unfamiliar warmth against his jaw, it was Seros hands. Sero tilted his face up and began to lean in. Kaminari was very nervous. Not that he didn’t want to kiss him- it was just that it would be his first. Plus, Kaminari was into boys too, which seemed like an added pressure. What if he liked it too much?

“Hey. Breathe. No need to be nervous, I won’t hurt you.” Sero reassured. He must’ve noticed the blonds stiffness. Kaminaris eyes fluttered open to see Sero closer than before. He smiled and untensed. He would be just fine. Besides, kissing your best friend is better than practicing on your hand, right?

“Okay, close your eyes.” Sero instructed. Kaminari did as told. And almost immediately, an unfamiliar pair of lips was pressed against his. Seros lips where warm, it was odd, but he didn’t mind it. But just as soon as they came, they left.

“Move your lips, dude. You don’t wanna be stone faced.” Sero said as he pulled away. Kaminari flushed.

“Sorry.” He replied.

“No worries.” Sero forgave. He then moved his hand to the back of Kaminaris neck. Great, now he could feel Kaminari blush from nervousness.

He then saw Sero close his eyes, and this time, Kaminari leaned in a little too. He closed his eyes and when their lips met, he made a little motion with his own lips. It made an odd noise against the others and he immediately pulled away an grimaced.

“Ew.” He laughed. Sero smiled.

“It’s supposed to be like that.” Sero encouraged, pulling an amused smirk. Kaminari looked a little disgusted.

“If you’re not gonna be able to kiss me, how are you gonna be able to kiss her?” Sero taunted. Kaminari rolled his eyes a little. But, he knew Sero was right.

Sero kissed him once more. And again, and again. They didn’t talk between these ones, it was just practice. Of course the noise of their lips meeting still bothered Kaminari, but, it was kind of nice. Maybe a little too nice...

Sero pulled away and wiped his mouth. Something about the action made Kaminari go red. God, he shouldn’t be that pretty...

“Oh. Sorry. You shouldn’t wipe your mouth immediately after. Some people find that rude.” Sero apologized. Kaminari thought that was weird, in fact, he found it attractive.

“Why? I thought it was...” Kaminari trailed off then shook his head. He stopped himself by saying “I’m not finishing that sentence.” Sero laughed lightly.

Then, they both leaned in again. This time, their teeth banged together and they both pulled away and laughed way louder than before.

“Oh my god!” Kaminari exclaimed, covering his face with his hands as he laughed.

“Okay-“ Sero began while giggling, “Avoid that at all costs.” He guided. Kaminari nodded.

“Obviously.” He replied.

It was then that the Blond noticed how much the space between them had changed. Sero’s face wasn’t more than 30cm (11 inches) away. Plus, their legs where somehow perfectly placed so that they where rather close to eachother. Kaminari gulped. They where right across from each other, practically gazing into eachothers eyes. When did his eyes start to sparkle like that?

“We can stop at anytime, you know.” Sero poked, making sure he wasn’t uncomfortable. Kaminari shook his head lightly.

“It’s okay.” Kaminari whispered back. He had the sudden urge to not go for a simple peck this time, but rather, let it linger just a little longer.

They both leaned in once more. This time (thank the lord), it was their lips that met. Kaminari did the same movement with his lips he had done before. They stayed for a second or two until Sero disconnected.

“Good.” He whispered. Kaminari suddenly felt his stomach flutter from the way he said it.

Kaminari hesitated, but his hand found its way to Seros shoulder for better support.

They kissed again. Kaminari still wanted it to last a little longer, though, so he didn’t pull away right away. Instead, he kissed him for a few seconds more. Sero didn’t pull away immediately either.

Once he had, he said, “You’ve got it.” And smiled, Kaminari smiled too. He pulled away further, widening the space between them.

“Do what you just did again to her when it happens, make it last a little longer alright?” Sero instructed. Kaminari nodded. He was feeling a lot less nervous now.

And with this new found confidence, he wanted to try kissing Sero. He wanted to initiate.

“Can I try, like, initiating it?” Kaminari asked first. Sero smiled and bit his lower lip. This action confused (and attracted) Kaminari, so he cocked his head.

“Oh, just thinking that you’re getting confident now. Yes, you can.” Sero said.

“Pretend I am the girl of your dreams.” Sero teased. Without hesitation, Kaminari leaned in and kissed him once more. Sero didn’t expect this so his eyes where open, but he quickly closed them and reciprocated the kiss. Then, Kaminari pulled away.

“Kissing me to shut me up, wow. You flirt!” Sero teased. Kaminari laughed. Then realizing that his hand was actually on Sero’s chest now and not his shoulder. His inhaled sharply, but tried to cover it up.

“Once more.” Kaminari said. Sero nodded approvingly. And then, for the last time of that night, their lips met. Though it wasn’t happening psychically , it felt like Kaminari was sparking. After a few seconds they pulled away. Kaminari at first looked to be dazed, however, that expression immediately changed into accusation as a thought struck him.

“Is this why you gave me a breath mint?!” He accused. Sero laughed and pushed Kaminari’s hand off his chest. Kaminari gasped.

“Did you plan this?” He asked, pointing a finger at him. Sero looked at him with a shit eating grin.

“It was just in case.”

Kaminaris jaw dropped. He wasn’t mad at all, no, he was amused. But he still pushed Seros shoulders away and called him a whore jokingly.

After their laughter had died down, Kaminari thanked Sero. The whole situation seemed rather odd, however, it did make him more confident for when the time to confess came. Sero shrugged off his thankfulness and said “It’s what friends do.” Which they laughed about again.

It’s what friends do.

Below is 2 bonus parts!

(#1)

Haha! Plot twist! Kirishima overheard one part!

Kirishima, walking to alert the boys that Sato made brownies: *about to knock on the door*

Sero: if you’re not gonna be able to kiss me, how are you gonna be able to kiss her?

Kirishima: *slowly recedes hand and walks away*

*back in common room*

Bakugou: Ay, where are the idiots?

Kirishima, with a look of pure traumatization: They’re busy.

(#2)

Oh no. Kaminari is catching feelings!

As Kaminari retired to bed for the night, he couldn’t help but think about what had happened earlier. Slowly, his hand lifted to his bottom lip and he lightly touched it. He kissed him... He kissed a boy... He couldn’t help but blush. Maybe, just maybe, he had enjoyed it a little too much. And maybe, he’d come to him for kissing advice again. And maybe, that time it wouldn’t be just because he needed practice. Maybe it would be because he liked the feeling of his lips. Not pretending it was hers. Just his. Maybe, he wanted to kiss him like he was in love with him and not Jirou. Maybe, he liked him more than he thought.

Andddd all done! I hope you guys enjoyed reading it! The second bonus part is actually based of personal experience after I (accidentally) kissed a friend I had a crush on. It was my first kiss, too. Rather weird. But anyways. That moment in my real life is what inspired the finger-to-lip imagery because that’s what I did right after. Anyways, besides that, thank you for reading and supporting me. Reblogs are welcome.

#bnha #mha #denki kaminari #kaminari denki #sero hanta #hanta sero #kamisero #serokami #kaminari x sero #sero x kaminari #kamijirou

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