#so lets see my second opinion in this replay

[andrewknightley]

just 3 dwarves hanging out. nature is healing

[gloomygumi]

quirks - satoru gojo x gn!reader

summary: part two︱you like to think you’re aware of all of satoru’s quirks, but shoko thinks you may have missed a few.

contents: fluff, newly realised feelings, highschool!gojo, he's honestly not even actually there for a lot of it, shoko and geto are tho, honestly a little bit of whipped gojo, probably ooc but definitely self indulgent

word count: 1.2k

a/n: how are we coping since 236 guys ????? wrote this feeling like i’d been widowed so i guess this counts as my coping mechanism 😭 hope you enjoy anyway, constructive criticism and any ideas or opinions you have are always welcome !!

in your past year of knowing satoru gojo, you’d made a note of his multiple quirks.

you noticed how when the group of second years went out to eat together at the weekends, he would whine about how good everyone else’s food looks until everyone at the table took pity (or annoyance, in suguru’s case) and spooned some of their meal onto his plate.

you noticed how when he was in class, listening to yaga drone on about the different types of curses, he would never let all of the legs of his chair rest on the ground. he was constantly swinging back and forth. it’s a miracle that he’s never fallen back, you think.

you even noticed how he somehow kept a momento from every single hangout and mission, each of them stored in a little wooden box he kept on his bedside table back in the dorms. in the past, you’d seen him slide seemingly worthless ticket stubs and receipts into his pockets, and when the curiosity finally got the better of you and you asked what he did with them, you only received a cheeky grin and a wink from your friend.

so, when shoko finally told you some of her own observations of his behaviours and habits during your lunch break one day, it’s safe to say it shocked you.

“i think it’s pretty obvious that he likes you.” she speaks casually, as if her words hadn’t caused you to choke on your own food. she passes you her bottle of water and pats your back. “you couldn’t tell?”

after gulping down half of her water, and spluttering a few times, you finally found your voice, letting out a strangled “he’s my friend - he does not like me like that!”

the look shoko gives you is one of ridicule, but before she can say anything else, you quickly continue.

“how’d you even come to that conclusion anyway, you’re not usually much of a gossip. that’s suguru’s job." you attempt to joke, but you feel the strained smile drop from your face as the boy you mentioned approaches the table and plops down beside your friend.

speak of the devil...

you see shoko's eyes light up, but before you can even attempt to cut her off again, she turns to suguru. "geto! back me up here, isn't it so obvious that gojo likes (y/n)?"

"mhm." he hums, barely even acknowledging the fact that his confirmation has sent you spiraling for the second time. "he's not exactly subtle about it."

"you guys are being ridiculous."

now it's suguru's turn to look at you like you've suddenly grown two heads. "you really didn't know?"

shoko lets out a laugh at his genuine confusion, and reaches into her bag to pull out a cigarette. you quickly hand her a lighter you keep on hand just for moments like this and she quietly thanks you before continuing. "have you never noticed how he's always touching you in some way?"

"that's just how he is!" you defend. "he's always hanging off of suguru too!"

the pair in front of you share a look, before geto continues. "what about how he never lets you walk closest to the road?"

you stop for a second, trying to pinpoint an occasion - just one - where he had only to come up empty handed. in fact, the more you think about it, the more sense it makes. you replay your moments walking back to the dorms after class with satoru, with his arm always casually wrapped around your shoulder. you remember how he always looked comfortable and at peace. you even remember how he would gently bump you closer into the sidewalk if you were walking with someone else, sticking his tongue out at you and ruffling your hair if you voiced a complaint at his behaviour.

your mouth dries up as you try to come up with another excuse to brush off your friends' observations, but you start to question yourself.

maybe they're right...?

you shake you head, as if trying to clear your head of these thought. "he does that for everyone, you guys are just reading too much into it."

between drags of her cigarette, shoko chuckles. "he's never done it for me." geto leans forward from his seat across from you and gently flicks in between your eyebrows. your hand immediately clamps down on the spot, and you groan at him. "what was that for!?"

he ignores your dramatics. "why are you so sure that we're lying?"

his genuine question makes you stop to think. it wasn't that you didn't like gojo, in fact, you hadn't dedicated much time to thinking about him in that way at all. your friends being so insistent on the fact that he liked you made you slowly start to realise that maybe you did share some affections for the ill mannered boy.

you continue to mull over as many interactions and memories that you have shared with satoru, slowly connecting the dots in your head. he always was more gentle with you, never polite but always kind. he regularly brought you souvenirs back from missions that you weren't assigned to and he always insisted on sitting next to you on the train home, offering you the window seat every single time.

almost as if they can hear your inner monologue being to spiral, shoko pipes up once more. "he gave you a different ring tone so he'd know every time you call."

you feel your heart stop for a second, unsure as to why this in particular made you finally believe their words, but before you even have the opportunity to dismiss them again (now in an attempt to convince yourself more than them) you feel the seat beside you sink with additional weight and a familiar arm flung around your shoulder. you barely even register the smug smile shoko is flashing you from across the table as you focus on attempting to cool your face.

"i can't believe you guys started eating without me!" satoru whines, leaning even more heavily into your side. he makes quick work of plucking a large chunk of meat out of your bento, sending you a sly grin as you look up at him in dismay. "what were you guys talkin' about?"

suguru meets your eyes, raising his eyebrows as he meets your glare, urging him to shut his mouth. "oh nothing." he hums, before completely changing the subject.

the conversation from moments prior is still fresh in your mind, and you're now very aware of the soft glances gojo keeps sending your way. you suddenly feel a lot more awkward in his presence, and you barely notice how you're fidgeting with your hands under the table and not participating in the conversation anymore.

that is until you feel warm hands grip your own, effectively halting their movement. "you okay?" you can barely hear satoru over the blood pumping in your ears, and you're unaware of the laughs shoko and geto are trying desperately to hold back whilst watching the scene as you try to speak.

you start to wish your friends had kept their observations to themselves.

[spidrgirl]

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅

RANDOM MILES MORALES HEADCANONS:

Masterlist: here ➼

Pairing: Miles Morales x fem friend he has a crush on! ᥫ᭡

Synopsis: headcanons of Miles and a girl he's friends with, but also has a teeny tiny crush on.

Genre: fluff/friends to lovers (lol, can you tell that this is my fav trope 😜?)

Word count: idk

Authors note: I made these headcanons with a fem!reader in mind, but I think most of these are gender neutral.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅

➳ Miles texts you throughout the day, even about the smallest details, needing to feel connected even when you're apart. When you don’t respond immediately, he starts second-guessing himself, checking his messages over to see if he said something wrong, worrying you might be upset with him.

➳ Every time you two part, he lingers, hands fidgeting or glancing back at you with a soft look. Sometimes, he even comes up with the smallest excuses—"I forgot to tell you something" or "Do you need help carrying anything?"—just so he can stay a little longer.

➳ Physical touch is everything to him. Even the lightest brush of your hand is enough to set his heart racing. He quietly aches for you to touch him more, but he's too nervous to ask, scared of seeming too needy or crossing a line.

➳ No matter what he's doing, if you call or text, Miles immediately stops and responds. He could be in the middle of training or just trying to relax, but your messages are his priority. You can't help but remember that one time when he was texting you back while mid-mission, and it just proves how much he needs to feel close to you.

➳ After a late-night patrol, he often lies awake, replaying the last time you were together in his mind. He wishes he could talk to you, even if it’s just in comfortable silence. Sometimes he even imagines what it’d be like if you were there, lying next to him, sharing everything he’s been holding inside.

➳ Sitting in silence next to you on lazy afternoons is one of his favorite things. He’s content just being near you, but the urge to confess his feelings bubbles up more strongly in these quiet moments. He bites his tongue, afraid that telling you might change what you have.

➳ When you’re talking, he holds your gaze, completely captivated. Even in casual conversation, the way you look at him grounds him. It’s like he's the only one you’re seeing in that moment, and he feels an overwhelming warmth from it.

➳ Miles checks in with you constantly. Even if it’s a small “you good?” or “need anything?” he wants to know you're okay and feels a sense of purpose in being there for you.

➳ He loves catching subtle traces of your scent on his clothes after you've been together—it makes him feel closer to you when you're not around, like he's carrying a part of you with him.

➳ If you’re watching a movie or sitting together, he’ll lean in closer than necessary, just to be in your space. There’s a comfort he finds in those moments that he can’t quite put into words.

➳ Miles remembers even the smallest kind words you say to him, and they replay in his mind like a cherished memory. When he's feeling low, he holds onto those words, letting them remind him of his worth in your eyes.

➳ Every accidental touch—your hand brushing his, your shoulder against his—he holds onto them, wishing they’d last just a little longer. Sometimes, he leaves his hand where it is, silently hoping you'll reach out again.

➳ As much as he admires your strength and independence, there's a part of him that yearns for you to need him, even if just a little. It’s not that he wants to change you, but being the one you rely on, even briefly, fills him with a quiet pride.

➳ He's always seeking your validation, not only because he values your opinion, but because your approval brings him a sense of security. He might even agree with things he doesn’t totally believe in, just to feel more connected to you.

➳ Even though he tries to play it cool when you call or text, his heart races. He'll act casual, but deep down, your attention is everything to him.

➳ Sitting close to you feels like it's never enough. He wants more time with you, more connection, but he’s scared of coming on too strong and pushing you away.

➳ He loves those rare, late-night conversations that go on until the early hours. When they end, he’s left with a quiet longing, wishing he could hold onto those moments forever.

➳ Sometimes, without realizing it, Miles can be a little overbearing in his need to help you. He’ll offer to carry your things, walk you home, or do tasks you didn’t ask for, just to feel useful to you.

➳ His biggest fear is that one day you’ll move on, and he’ll just be a memory in your life. It’s a thought that keeps him awake some nights, silently hoping he’ll always have a place in your world.

➳ If he senses you’re upset or distant, he tries even harder to be there for you, even if it’s just in small ways, like sending a meme or giving you a small gift. He wants to remind you that he's still around.

➳ Miles asks you questions about your day, your thoughts, your feelings—he just wants to know you better and to feel closer to you.

➳ Arguments or disagreements with you make him uneasy. He’ll often apologize first, even when he’s unsure of what he did wrong, just to make sure things are okay between you.

➳ If he notices you’re upset, he goes into “protector” mode, wanting to fix the situation and be the one to make things better, even if it’s beyond his control.

➳ If a day goes by without seeing you, he’ll often send you a random meme or a quick message, just to re-establish contact and let you know he’s thinking about you.

➳ He subtly frames conversations in ways that might lead to you complimenting him or showing him affection. He craves your reassurance but tries not to make it too obvious.

➳ When you’re together, he unconsciously leans into your space—his knee brushing yours, his arm near you. He might not ask for more, but his body language shows just how much he wants you close.

➳ If you start talking about someone else, especially another guy, he’ll find a way to steer the conversation back to the two of you, needing your attention on him, if only for a moment.

➳ There are times he feels so vulnerable around you that he wants to confess everything, but he holds back, afraid of losing what you already have. Instead, he stays quiet, holding onto those feelings in silence.

[trustmypoison]

Ruby

The three times Jihoon tries to confess through lyrics and the one where you finally get it.

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: none that I can think of, just some fluff

This is part of the Three Times series. This one is inspired by this reactions.

One

You punch in the code to the door like it’s an old habit, mostly because it is. Jihoon doesn’t turn to you right away and you know better than to distract him in the middle of something. You sit the takeout bags on the table and plop down on the couch in the corner. Your couch, to be exact. He doesn’t often have visitors just hang out in here with him while he’s working, but you’ve long insisted this might be the only way to see your best friend sometimes. You assume he agreed because a small sofa just appeared here one day along with a couple fuzzy blankets. 

“Hey,” he finally greets. “What’s for dinner?” 

“Is that all I’m good for?” You tease as he comes to sit next to you. “Just some Chinese take out from the place down the street. I hope that’s okay.” 

Jihoon shrugs, digging in as soon as he can. “Doesn’t matter. I’m too starving to care.”

“How’s the song going?” You ask, not expecting much. He can be really hot and cold about sharing his stuff with you before he feels like it’s perfect, so sometimes a non-committal ‘okay’ is all you get. 

Today must be a good day, because he’s gesturing for the both of you to move to the desk. “It’s missing something and I can’t quite put a finger on what.” He hits a few buttons and lets you listen. Everything about it has you smiling, much like it always does. 

You can’t help but tease him when the song ends and he asks what you think. “Jihoon, are you in love?” It’s not a new jab and he shoves you by the shoulder hard, making you laugh. “I’m kidding. Let me hear the chorus again.” He rolls it back and replays it for you. You recommend a few tweaks and when he makes them and replays the part, he sighs in relief.

“Are we done for the day now?” You chuckle, and it turns to a full blown laugh when he scoffs.

“Do you know how long it takes to prepare an album, Y/N? I hope you brought some entertainment.”

“You think this is my first day being your friend? Please,” you roll your eyes, pointing to the backpack you brought with you. “You’re stuck with me.”

You know he’d send you away if he didn’t like that. He lets you stay until you’re barely keeping your eyes open before he finally packs his things up and drives you home.

Two

A red notebook lands in your lap. It’s unfamiliar, only because the last one Jihoon handed you was blue. “Ran out of room?” You say as he spins back around in his chair. 

“Yeah,” he mumbles. “Read the last entry, nothing else.” You do. You’d never overstep how much he’s willing to share, so you’re careful not to linger on pages that you aren’t invited to look at. 

“What am I looking for?” You ask, skimming the page. It’s chaotic, notes in the margins, lines crossing out certain things that he’s rejected. Some writing is squished between lines and you have to squint to read it.

“It’s not flowing in my mind the way I want it to. I want a second opinion.”

Like you’d ever turn down that opportunity. You pull out a pencil, because you’d never permanently mark up these ideas. What you think about it is only a suggestion - one that can be erased. You make some notes, rereading, trying to grasp the vision that he has for the song. You aren’t a musician but you do have a good idea of how his mind works. 

When you hand it back, he doesn’t look at your notes right away, pinning you with a look. “Well?”

“Romantic as ever. One of these days you’ll make such a sweet boyfriend.” 

He snorts, skimming through what you’ve marked up. “Yeah, right. Explain to me what you did here.” 

You plop into the seat next to him. You’re touched that he involves you in his work like this. That he’s willing to hear what you think when you’re so far from being an expert. He’s never shot down your ideas, even if he doesn’t end up using all of them. He still wants it to feel like ‘his’. 

Today’s a good day and most of the pencil marks stay in place. He even teases you about giving you some song writing credits. He knows you’d never accept them, but he likes seeing both his and your marks on the page working together. 

Three

Today is not a good day. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, they’ve lost some work and have had to re-record some parts. You’re surprised when you arrive to his studio and it’s packed. You fade into the corner as to not be in the way. You watch Jihoon obsessively save copies of files in various spots and when everyone else wishes you both good night to go home, you give him a minute to collect himself. 

“How can I help?” You finally say. You watch his shoulders tense and it makes you sad. “Would you like me to go? Give you some space to work?” He shakes his head and you finally approach him, sitting next to him. You rub his back lightly. “What do you have left to do?” 

“Rearrange everything so someone can look at it tomorrow. It’s not usually my specialty, but I have to have something to give them to work with.” He looks like he might pull his hair out so you gently turn his chair. 

“Come on,” you say, opening your arms to him. You know he’s not the most physically affectionate person, but it won’t stop you from offering some comfort. To your surprise, he barely hesitates, arms coming around you too. When you feel like he’s lost some of the tension in his body, you let go. “Get started. I’ll go make some coffee.” 

You miss the way he turns to watch you leave. He doesn’t know how to say thank you for your presence on days like today. 

Four

The comeback is over and so are the promotions for it. It’s been many, many weeks since you’ve seen your best friend, and this time, it’s amazingly not at his work. He lets himself into your apartment and plops down on the couch next to you. You’ve planned a lazy day of just lying around and relaxing. You’ve sworn off work as a thing to so much as discuss today, so you glare at him when see the flash of a red notebook come out of his backpack. 

“Lee Jihoon, I told you no work today,” you admonish. 

He doesn’t listen to you. He never does. “Y/N, I may not show up to work every single day, but I’m probably going to write every single day.” 

He’s right, of course. Sometimes it just pours out of him into these notebooks, like the one he’s handing you. “What am I looking for?” You ask with a huff.

“Last entry,” he says. It’s almost always the last entry, but you don’t want to go blindly flipping through his private thoughts. You find it and this sheet is actually pretty clean, with very little notes in the margins or lines crossed out. You can’t help but smile, just like you always do when he shares something like this with you. 

“One of these days you’ll tell me who these songs are about,” you muse. 

He groans and the sound surprises you. He usually rolls his eyes and asks what you think, but this time, he looks like he’s almost in pain. “I’m in love with an idiot,” he mumbles, hand rubbing down his face.

“That’s no way to talk about the love of your life!” You cry out. “You write all of these sweet songs for her and you call her an idiot?”

“I’m talking about you, Y/N. You’re the idiot.”

Your mouth pops open. “Oh.” 

He rolls his eyes, snatching back the notebook, tossing it onto your coffee table. “They’ve always been about you, every single notebook over the years. You can’t be that dense.”

You barely hear the insult because you’re thinking of all the various notebooks he’s handed you over the years, only small portions of which he’s let you read. “All of them?” You whisper.

He sighs. “I’m sorry.” 

You pout at him, not that he’s looking at you. He’s leaning back into the couch, arms crossed over his chest. You understand why he’s apologizing, but there’s really no need. “You didn’t ask me what I think of the lyrics.”

He hesitates, glancing out of the corner of his eye at you. Finally, he clears his throat. “What did you think of the lyrics?” 

You lean forward, pressing a light, lingering kiss to his lips. You hear his breath catch and the sound is just as sweet as the contents of all his notebooks. “I loved it, just like every other page you’ve ever let me read.” 

“I’ll bring over the rest tomorrow. They’re all about you anyway.” He says it so simply that you can’t help but fling your arms around him. He calls you an idiot again but he’s laughing regardless.

[ahhnini]

Hiii, I really hope You’re doing Well baby. I need your opinion about Rafe being jealous when he realizes pope has a crush on his sweet girl so he makes sure he knows she’s his (I always imagine this scene after JJ and pope sunk toppers boat and the guys beat them up at the movies, top for the boat and Rafe cause pope’s ogling his girl)🫣 and I probably need this idea in my head all the time everything replaying in my mind 🥵

ahh tysm for the request!! i hope you’re doing well too!!

warnings - suggestive, not proofread

okay okay so ofc rafe would be jealous, that’s like a given. hes very impulsive and an overthinker. so…

he’d take the druthers and you two would sail around the cut, passing mr. hayward’s store multiple times, making sure pope sees the both of you, his arms wrapped around your waist.

but that wasn’t enough.

rafe’s eyes sharpened as pope handed you your groceries, hands lingering atop yours a second too long. he then had the audacity to ask if you needed help putting the groceries away, as if he wasn’t right there.

politely shaking your head no and bidding him goodbye, you turn your body towards rafe, who looks like he was about to punch the wall next to him. you roll your eyes, thinking that he’s just getting jealous for no reason again.

but he wasn’t.

he bit the inside of his cheek as he watched you and pope by the concessions stand, exchanging some words with one another. it was the monthly movie night on the island resort, and mr. hayward had been in charge of catering. he said something to make you giggle, and his eyebrows furrowed. if pope hadn’t pissed him off then, he’d definitely now.

“where are you taking me, baby?” you drunkly chuckled as rafe guided you up a hill, patting the ground for you to sit down. you’ve obviously had one too many drinks tonight, and he wanted you to sober up before taking you back home. kind of. while you thought you were gonna have an intimate moment with rafe, turns out that said hill was also the pogues’ favorite hangout spot. you began kissing rafe all over his face, giggling at the lipstick stains. he let you straddle him on the curve of the hill, his hands running up and down your body, underneath your shirt

he looked over at the bonfire the pogues were having, and made direct eye contact with pope, smirking. he looked away, staring back at whatever john b, who’d been across from him.

safe to say he never bothered the two of you again.

[sc0tters]

His Home | Adam Fantilli

summary: it’s Adam’s birthday and his debut in the NHL, little does he know you’re there watching

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, p in v, oral (fem receiving), swearing.

word count: 3.07k

authors note: welcome back to what I like to call, kei told me not to behave (soft edition?). I’m kidding (sorta) this is a really different to what I usually write because it had a bit of angst in it? The first bit of regular italics are from the Adam birthday video that the bluejackets did and the second is a regular flashback!

It was the clip Adam loved rewatching the most.

You were sat in your dorm in his hoodie and his hat (a detail that only he would pick up on) as you smiled “hey baby!” You smiled as you looked at your phone “now I’ve tried redoing this like eight times now.” You confessed letting out a little laugh.

The picture of Adam on draft night that you had taken after you two snuck out to Dairy Queen stared back at you “I keep on crying and you really don’t need to see me get all snotty again.” You shook your head as the pile of tissues on your bed was beginning to build.

Adam couldn’t help but stare at you in awe as you nervously thought about what it was that you wanted to say “point is I’m so proud of you for getting this far.” You two started dating in October of freshman year and you swore you’d kill him before he broke up with you with before trying long distance “I miss you and I love you.” You confessed wiping your cheek as another tear fell.

As you sucked at your cheek smiling unaware that Adam was doing the same thing “you’re gonna smash it tonight, so happy birthday and play your little heart out there.”

You brought your fingers up to your lips “I’m so proud of you my star.” The video ended as your kissed fingers pressed against the camera ending the video like you did all of your FaceTime calls that you had with him.

Honestly Adam was surprised that he wasn’t sick of that video anymore with the amount of times that he had replayed it “sorry she can’t be here tonight.” Kent knew how upset Adam was that you were unable to make it to his first game.

What was the actual twist of the knife was that you hadn’t responded to anything on all platforms and went as far as to turn your locations off on everything “I just don’t remember making her mad.” Adam sighed as he frowned looking at his lock screen that was a picture of you two in front of the yost one evening.

You were in your Fantilli jersey and he had his arms wrapped around you as he kissed your head “she’s probably just stressed with that class you said she was taking.” Kent shrugged trying to keep a straight face.

The whole team had come together to plan this. The only thing that could possibly be making you stressed right now was the fact that you were trying to not get caught in Columbus.

Yes, the boys convinced you to change around some things as they felt like you being there was the birthday and debut gift that money truly couldn’t buy “I guess you’re right.”

Thankfully for you, Adam never noticed that you were there as you sat far away from his parents and family.

The game ended in a win and Adam was even able to get some points on the board so it was safe to say that you were all excited about more than just the win.

Wanting to give him some time with his family you stayed hidden for a bit mainly getting to know more of his teammates “you know he’s clueless about this right?” Kent smiled as he saw the excited look on your face.

Adam knew it probably sounded terrible but as he listened to his dad’s opinions about the game he couldn’t help it as his eyes wondered off to find you.

His brain hoped that by some divine act you were actually there.

And that was when he saw you.

Well not you, actually the top of your head “shut up!” Adam let out a gasp causing you to turn around in his direction.

Both of you had grins on your faces and tears forming in your eyes “w-what are you doing here?” He asked quickly pushing past people to making sure that he wasn’t dreaming.

As your flowery perfume pushed into his nostrils he knew that you were really there “couldn’t not be here tonight.” You mumbled holding your arms out as he pulled you into a hug.

Usually you would have groaned at how sweaty he was but today you just loved feeling him against you “happy birthday my love.” You smiled looking up at him before you placed a kiss on the hockey players lips “how long are you here for?” The hockey player wanted you there for as long as possible “fly out on Sunday my love.” So that basically meant that you had three whole days with him as well as another game to watch.

At this point the cameras had turned away wanting to give you and Adam the moment in private or at least as private as it could be for being stood out in the open “go get showered and then we can all catch up.” Julia proposed looking at her son as she wrapped her arm around you.

You had gotten to know his parents over the summer and nothing made them happier than seeing the smile on their sons face whenever he looked at you.

So you knew that you were going to sound bad when you thought about this because as fun as it was getting to catch up with Adam’s family and watch him smile as he interacted with his parents.

What you truly wanted was to be with him on the couch talking like you used to.

The Michigan air was cold around Ann Arbor but that wasn’t something you and Adam were complaining about.

No instead you two were comfortably on the couch in your dorm as your roommate was in a class “what are you thinking about?” Adam smiled as he realised that you were staring at him.

His thumb massaged your hip as his baggy basketball shorts left the area of your skin exposed “I’m gonna miss these moments with you.” You confessed as you two loved being on top of each other on the tiny two seater couch.

Before a frown could form on your lips as the thought of the draft came along Adam brought his face closer to yours “the draft is a long way away baby.” The hockey player cooed “so for now let’s enjoy this.” He added pressing his lips against yours.

So as the Uber let you two out at the door of Adam’s apartment building you couldn’t help but smile as you grew excited “are you guys sure you don’t want to come up for a bit?” Adam looked at his family members in the car as he wrapped his hand around you “you two should go have fun.” Julia clearly didn’t mean it in the way that flashed through your mind but it still made you smile as you send her a nod.

You two watched the car drive off before you turned to make your way into the building “can’t believe that you’re truly here.” Adam mumbled pressing a kiss onto your head as he took in the familiar scent of your shampoo.

His hand slid lower now resting on your ass that he gave a squeeze “Adam!”

You squealed jumping as you walked into the elevator.

That resulted in a laugh from the boy who quickly joined you before the doors shut “you can’t blame me for missing you.” His words were true as he locked his hands on either side of you “thought about you all day.” Adam confessed hovering his lips over yours.

A smile formed on your face “I did too,” as you leaned up to kiss him the doors opened causing an awkward meeting for you two with an elderly couple “I’m gonna need to you walk in front of me.” The hockey player‘s whisper sent shivers down your spine as you looked down to see that he was hard.

Trying to keep the giggle from leaving your lips you nodded adjusting yourself so that you could walk in front of Adam who now had one hand on your waist and the other carrying your bag “have a good night.” You sent the couple a smile as the boy forced you out of there as quickly as he could.

You looked to Adam with a teasing look on your face “you got a little problem?” You joked seeing that nobody was in the hallway.

Adam scoffed as he shook his head “not only is this your fault but it also isn’t little.” The boy corrected you as he stopped in front of his door “let me get your keys.” You smirked dropping your hand into his pocket.

If he could tell what you were trying to do then Adam was being a good sport for putting up with it “those aren’t my keys.” He warned as you palmed his dick between the fabric of his pocket and his boxers “I know.” You pressed a kiss against his ear before you pulled his keys out quickly unlocking the door to his apartment.

There was a spilt second before Adam practically pushed you both into the apartment “someone’s needy.” You teased watching as he dropped your bag pressing the door shut with his hand before he made a beeline for you “I know.” Adam repeated your words as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

Giving you a small moment to bring your hands to his neck before he kissed you. You two finally had that moment you had longed for where he could kiss you properly.

His tongue fought with yours as there was no longer the need to behave as someone was watching “fuck,” you moaned feeling his hands cup your ass “jump baby.” Adam didn’t need to tell you for a second time as your legs locked around his waist.

The walk to his room was short, not that either of you truly would have cared because you two were just enjoying the feeling of each others lips “god I’ve missed this.” The hockey player cooed dropping your body onto his bed.

You smiled up at him as he joined you on his bed still wanting to soak in the taste of your lips.

Sure it was etched into his brain but that didn’t mean that Adam wasn’t feeling this sense of being high each time he got to feel your lips against his skin “Adam,” you whined as his hands ran over your waist.

His smile was clear as he pecked your lips one final time “I wanna taste you baby.” Adam shook his head as your hand brushed over his cock.

You tried to protest “it’s your birthday,” you pointed out as you simply wanted to make him feel good “and all I want to do is taste that pretty cunt of yours.” Adam shot back as he shifted down his bed.

Adam hooked his fingers in the waist band of your pants “you look so fucking good today.” The hockey player gushed as he was met with the sight of your lace panties “you knew you were gonna get fucked tonight didn’t you?” The Canadian smirked as he let your panties slide down your legs.

Your head bobbed as you nodded “please A,” you pleaded grabbing at his sheets as Adams breath fanned your cunt.

To say that you were soaked was an understatement as even in his dimly lit room Adam could still see the way that your pussy glistened “gonna make you feel so fucking good tonight.” The hockey players voice was shaky before his tongue ran up your slit settling on your clit.

It was like he was starving at the way he locked his hands around your thighs “shit Adam!” You cried bringing your hand down to his hair gripping onto his locks.

His eyes caught yours as you drove your hips into his face desperate to get off in that very moment.

His tongue swirled around your sensitive nub as he brought his fingers to your soaked cunt “god I’ve missed this,” the vibrations of his laugh sent shivers up your spine as your body shook.

Sure phone sex was a thing but this was a whole new level.

After weeks of not being able to get off through phone sex as your fingers and the sound of Adam’s voice could only do so much.

You were now getting exactly what you wanted “I’m gonna come,” you groaned scrunching your face as your body shook.

Adam nodded as you clenched around his fingers “let go baby.” He smiled lapping up your release as he was reminded how much he missed this.

But just like usual Adam didn’t slow down his movements as you rode his face through your orgasm “n-no A,” you shook your head trying to bring your body up and off of the bed.

His smirk was clear as he continued sucking you clit “baby,” you whined literally pulling his head up as you kissed his lips.

Tasting your release on his tongue made you squirm “you taste so sweet.” Adam groaned as your cunt rubbed against his clothed dick “baby I’m gonna come and I gotta do it in you.” He grunted as you nodded.

It took him seconds to undo his pants as you pulled his jersey over your head leaving you in your bra “god you’re gorgeous.” The hockey player smiled as he grabbed the condom from his wallet.

After you two were caught up after a big game with no condom Adam now had one that lived in his wallet for whenever you two would need it.

Before Adam could rip the wrapper open you had your hands capturing it so that you could wrap it around his cock “don’t tease me baby.” The hockey player warned bringing his hand to your head as you kitten licked the tip of his cock.

His precum oozed out of his swollen tip as you looked up at him with a smile “giving you everything you want tonight.” You mumbled pushing the condom over his cock as you kissed his lips swallowing his moan in the process.

Slowly Adam’s knees sink into the mattress as he comes down to your level “I just want you tonight.” His confession made your heart burst with love and pride “you have me Adam.” You nodded watching as he pressed his hands against your shoulders softly pushing you against the mattress.

Adam let his lips start at yours showing you an immense amount of love before he moved them to your cheek then to your jaw.

His journey slowly continued to your neck “A-Adam!” Your voice shook as your eyes screwed shut.

It made him smile as he pressed a kiss to each of your breasts “I want to take my time with you.” The hockey player cooed rubbing his fingers in your hips as he kissed your stomach “Adam please.” The desperation in your voice made him smile as he stopped.

The boy moved up to the point where his head stood just above yours “I love you baby.” Adam mumbled pressing his forehead against yours as his free hand drove his cock over your clit before he let it slide into your cunt.

You both gasped as the familiar feeling came over you both “this cunt feels like it did just back then.” Adam let out a grunt as you nodded “please move.” You begged making him smile.

He listened to you beginning to slowly bring his hips away from you before he brought them back to yours “you feel so good.” The Canadian cooed as you lifted your legs up to wrap around his waist like it was on instinct.

Like usual he was always so vocal “don’t stop,” you pleaded leaning forward to kiss his lips.

Adam almost collapsed at your neediness “god you’re out of this world.” Your cunt clenched around his cock at those words.

The moment was soft, it seemed that you two weren’t interested in having hot and steamy sex tonight. Not when you had missed the simple sheer contact that you two were having now “so full.” You blurted out as you swore that his cock had grown as it hit parts of you had it had never seen.

The hockey player didn’t think that he was going to last long as you continued to drive your hips against his “I love you.” You cried as his hand found its way between your bodies landing on your clit “this cunt was made for me.” Adam groaned as you nodded “all for you.” You agreed as you kissed him.

It was needy as Adam’s thrusts grew staggered at the way you clenched around his cock “I’m not gonna last,” Adam confessed as he shook his head “me neither,” you cried as the pressure on your clit increased.

It made your eyes shut as the coil in your stomach threatened to snap “love those noises.” The hockey player felt his head drop against your shoulder.

The sound of your whimpers hit the walls making Adam sure that he was going to get an awkward knock on the door tomorrow from his neighbour “right there oh-” your voice broke as pleasure pulsed through your body.

It made you shake against him as your hands locked in his hair “so so good,” you groaned gasping for air as white specks painted the backs of your eye lids.

Adam’s orgasm came right after yours making you both sweat as you came down from your highs “you okay?” The hockey player asked as his hands brushed your hair out of your face.”

You nodded with a smile “yep.” You watched him throw the condom away in the trash can next to his bed before you made grabby hands wanting him to come back to you “I want a cuddle.” Your confession made him laugh.

Of course Adam listened as he held his hands out to you “happy birthday baby.” You mumbled as you lay your head against his chest.

The boy smiled as he ran his fingers through your hair “thanks for making my birthday one to remember.” He cooed enjoying how this felt.

With you in his arms he knew that one thing was sure.

Home for Adam wasn’t a tangible place, it wasn’t a rink or his childhood home.

His home was right here, you were his home.

[lizzyiii]

Reconnecting

pairing | josh washington x fem!reader

word count | 3.9k words

summary | after the prank, it tore you and Josh apart, now a year later Josh wants to be with you again

tags | 18+ (MDNI), smut, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (remember kids: wrap it before you tap it), hurt/comfort, confessions, no description of reader, sam&reader

a/n | so this takes place right after Josh fakes his death with Ash and Chris. again this is an extraction from my actual fanfic on A03, unfortunately it is Josh x OC, but if you guys are interested it's called Echoes Of Us

likes comments and reblogs are much appreciated ✨

MASTERLIST

You took a deep breath as you stepped into your designated guest room, closing the door softly behind you.

It was so strange, normally you'd sleep in Josh's room, and before that Beth always wanted you to sleep in her room. The weight of the evening clung to you like the chill in the air.

Fumbling for the light switch, you flicked it on, only to be met with darkness. "Great," you muttered under your breath, glancing around the shadowy room. The moonlight filtering through the edges of the thick curtains offered little help.

Sighing, you crossed the room and pulled them open, letting a silvery glow spill across the space.

It wasn’t much, but it was enough to let you navigate to the bedside table. You rummaged through the drawer until your fingers brushed against cold metal—a lighter.

Striking it, you carefully lit the scattered candles, the warm flicker of flames chasing away the darkness and casting long shadows on the wooden walls.

The soft glow made the room feel marginally less oppressive, though the unease from the seance still lingered like a weight on your chest.

You sank onto the edge of the bed, your hands resting on your lap as you stared at the flickering candlelight. You were grateful Josh had given you space to collect yourself.

After what had just happened—between the spirit board and your *moment*—you needed to get your thoughts in order before seeing him again.

Alright, you thought firmly. Josh had told you it was a mistake, that he still wanted you.

He still loved you.

You exhaled slowly, trying to push away the nagging doubts creeping into her mind. And did you love him? That wasn’t even a question—of course, you did. You always had.

Maybe it was a good thing that Josh had planned this weekend, even if parts of it had already gone off the rails.

Maybe it was a chance for things to start healing, for him to finally find some closure and for you to help him. But the events of the evening... the séance, the cryptic messages... they gnawed at the edges of your mind.

You tried to shake it off, blaming Chris. It had to be one of his tasteless jokes, right? That was the only explanation. But still, something about it had felt... wrong. The way the planchette moved, how Josh had acted—it had been so strange. You couldn’t just ignore it.

Your thoughts, as always, circled back to Josh. Your moment together earlier replayed in your mind, and while you felt reassured by his words, the doubts still lingered.

You needed a second opinion, someone who could help you untangle the mess of emotions and unanswered questions swirling inside your head. And there was no one better for that than Sam.

With a determined sigh, you slipped out of your room and headed toward the bathroom nearest to Sam's. You knocked lightly on the door. "Sammy?" you called.

There was no response.

You rolled your eyes, a knowing smile tugging at your lips. Of course, you thought. Sam probably had her headphones in again. Without waiting for an answer, you pushed the door open and peeked inside.

Sure enough, there Sam was, lounging in the tub surrounded by a sea of bubbles, her head tilted back against the rim, earphones firmly in place.

Suppressing a laugh, you stepped inside and quietly approached the tub, your movements deliberate to avoid startling your friend too much. When you reached the edge of the tub, you snapped your fingers right in front of Sam's face.

Sam’s eyes shot open in panic, her hand splashing water as she jolted upright. When she saw you standing there, grinning, she let out a groan and pulled her earphones out. “Can’t a girl get some privacy around here?”

“Privacy is overrated, Sammy,” you teased, perching yourself on the edge of the tub. Your voice softened as you added, “Besides, I really need your help.”

Sam raised an eyebrow, her annoyance melting into curiosity as she leaned back into the bubbles. “This sounds serious. What’s up?”

You hesitated, chewing on your bottom lip as you searched for the right words. Finally, you sighed, your voice low. “It’s... Josh. Everything tonight has just been so weird, and I can’t get a handle on how I’m supposed to feel about it all.”

Sam’s expression softened as she tilted her head in concern. “Weird how?”

“Just... him,” you admitted, your voice growing softer. “We kind of had a moment earlier. And you know how Josh is—he keeps cutting me off when we get close. I want us to be together again, but I’m scared.” your hands fidgeted in your lap as you stared at the floor.

Sam straightened in the tub, droplets sliding off her arms as she leaned forward. “Scared that he’ll push you away again?”

“Kind of,” you murmured. “It’s just… there’s so much history between us. And I don’t know if he’s ready to really deal with everything. Especially not here, of all places, with all these memories hanging over us. It feels like he’s holding on to so much, and I don’t know if there’s room for me in all of that anymore.”

Sam studied you carefully, her gaze steady and full of understanding. After a moment, she reached out to touch your arm, her voice calm and reassuring.

“Honey, you’ve been there for him through everything—more than anyone else. If anyone can help him face this, it’s you. But you’ve got to remember, it’s not all on you to make him okay.”

You nodded slowly, your eyes glistening as you processed Sam’s words. “I know. And I’m not trying to fix him. I just... I want him to feel better. To be happy again.”

Sam’s expression softened, her voice gentle but firm. “I get it, babe. But we’re all supposed to be keeping an eye on him—not just you. It’s not all on your shoulders.”

“I know that,” you sighed, your gaze dropping as you fidgeted with the hem of your sweater. “It’s just... there’s this part of me that feels like I should take it all on. That maybe if I could just carry it for him, then he wouldn’t have to. It sounds stupid, I know.”

Sam raised a brow, her tone lightening. “And when has something sounding stupid ever stopped you before?”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “Fair. But seriously... I just want to take all his pain away. Put it on me, instead.” your voice lowered slightly, your sadness plain as you looked back at Sam.

Sam reached out, placing her damp hand over yours and giving it a firm squeeze. “Oh, sweetie. That’s not how this works. You can’t just take it all away. But what you can do is be there for him. And maybe... I don’t know... really talk to him. Like, lay it all out.”

You smiled faintly, your heart feeling a little less heavy. “Thanks, Sammy. You’re a really good friend, you know that?”

Sam’s smile faltered for just a moment, but she quickly masked it with a laugh, looking away briefly before turning back.

A good friend wouldn’t secretly feel the way she did about her friend’s boyfriend.

Pushing the thought aside, she mustered her most genuine smile. “Anytime. Now, unless you want to help me wash my hair, I’m kicking you out.”

You stood, brushing off your jeans with mock dignity. “Fine, fine. I’ll leave you to your royal bubble bath, your highness.”

“Damn right, servant,” Sam teased, sinking back into the water with a grin.

As you left the bathroom, you felt a little more grounded. Sam was right—you weren't alone in this, and neither was Josh. Whatever happened, you'd figure it out. Together.

You stepped out of the shower, tightening the towel around you as the steam followed you back into your room. The soft glow of the candlelight illuminated the space, casting flickering shadows across the walls. At least the candles had warmed the room enough that you didn’t need to bundle up.

You let out a contented sigh and slipped into one of your favorite silk nightgowns, the delicate fabric cool against your skin. You crossed to the mirror and sat down, brushing through your damp hair with slow, rhythmic strokes.

Around your neck hung a golden chain, the intricate sapphire promise ring glinting in the candlelight—a constant reminder of everything you and Josh had been through.

As you finished brushing your hair, you picked up your lip gloss, applying a light layer, then reached for your eyelash curler.

You barely had time to finish when you heard the soft creak of the door opening behind you. Your heart jumped in your chest as you set down the curler and glanced at your reflection.

Taking a steadying breath, you turned to see Josh stepping into the room.

He’d changed into fresh clothes, but his disheveled hair and the faint sheen of sweat on his brow gave him away. He was panting slightly, as though he’d been in a hurry—or a fight with himself.

“Hey,” you murmured softly, your voice cutting through the tense quiet. “You alright?”

Josh hesitated for a moment, then flashed you his signature cheeky smile, though the faint tension in his eyes betrayed him. “Yeah,” he said, his voice a little too casual. “Just had to take care of something.”

You arched a brow, folding your arms across your chest. “Uh-huh. And what’s this something?”

Josh didn’t answer right away. Instead, he crossed the room and dropped onto the edge of your bed with a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping. Your gaze softened, and you stood, moving toward him.

“Josh,” you said gently, sitting beside him. “What’s really going on?”

He glanced at you, his bravado slipping as his hand reached for the chain around your neck, his thumb brushing against the sapphire promise ring. “Just... thinking about a lot of things,” he murmured, his voice quieter now. “About us. About everything.”

You leaned into him, letting your head rest against his shoulder, your own voice soft and laced with honesty. “Me too.”

Josh’s green eyes lingered on the ring. His expression was unreadable, but his gaze was heavy with unspoken feelings. “I thought... I thought you took it off,” he said, almost in disbelief.

“Never,” you murmured, your voice firm but tender.

Your thoughts flickered back to your conversation with Sam, and you took a steadying breath. You stayed leaning against him but decided to ask the question you'd been too scared to voice before. “Josh... how do you feel about me?”

There was a pause. Josh shifted slightly, the tension rolling off him in waves. “What do you mean?” he asked cautiously.

You sighed, sitting up to face him fully, your eyes locking onto his with a dry, knowing look. “You know exactly what I mean.”

Josh avoided your gaze, his hands fidgeting in his lap. He finally murmured, almost awkwardly, “Well, what do you want me to say? That I’ve been head over heels for you since I was eleven and Beth brought you home for a sleepover?”

A small, teasing smile tugged at your lips. “How could I forget? You spent the whole night perving at me.”

Josh scoffed, leaning back against the bed and pulling you down with him. “I wouldn’t call it perving. Or... staring, for that matter.”

You smirked, your voice light with teasing. “Oh? Then what would you call it?”

Josh made a thoughtful face, his lips twitching as he tried not to grin. “More like... admiring,” he said with mock seriousness.

“Nice save,” you hummed, resting your chin on his chest as you looked up at him, your smile warm and genuine.

Josh nodded solemnly. “Thank you. I try.”

For a moment, the banter gave way to comfortable silence, your shared laughter fading into quiet breaths. You reached for his hand, intertwining your fingers. “I’m glad you told me,” you whispered.

Josh’s grin softened into something more vulnerable, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a slow, deliberate motion. “I meant it, baby. Every word,” he murmured. His green eyes searched yours, raw and earnest. “I want us to be together again. I... I can’t live without you.”

You didn’t need words to reply. Your actions spoke for you as you leaned up, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. The warmth of your lips against his skin sent a shiver down his spine, and he closed his eyes, savoring the moment.

When he opened them again, his gaze was full of longing. “I missed you so goddamn much,” he murmured, his voice cracking ever so slightly.

Before you could respond, Josh leaned toward you, closing the distance between you. His lips brushed yours in a soft, tentative kiss, the kind that carried months of unspoken feelings and bottled-up desire.

To Josh, it felt like eternal relief—like finding water in a desert after wandering aimlessly for far too long.

Yours hands instinctively reached up, one resting on his shoulder while the other lightly traced his jawline.

Josh’s hand moved to cup your cheek, his fingers tangling in your hair as he deepened the kiss. It wasn’t rushed or frantic—it was steady, deliberate, and full of love.

In that moment, it felt like the world outside didn’t exist. It was just the two of you, your broken pieces fitting together again as if they had never been apart.

For the first time in a long time, Josh felt like he wasn’t drowning in the weight of his isolation and madness. He felt... whole.

When you finally pulled away, your foreheads rested against each other, your breaths mingling in the quiet room. You opened your eyes, your gaze meeting Josh’s. “I missed you too,” you said softly, your voice steady but full of meaning.

Josh smiled, a genuine, unguarded smile that made your heart ache. “Good,” he said with a quiet chuckle, brushing your hair behind her ear. “Because I don’t plan on letting you go again.”

You didn’t answer with words. Instead, you leaned in once more, capturing his lips in another kiss, this time with more fervor as you straddled his lap, Josh's hands instantly moved to your hips.

Josh groaned into the kiss, his hands tightening on your hips as you settled onto him. The heat of your body seeped through the thin fabric of your nightgown, igniting a fire within him that had smoldered for far too long.

Breaking the kiss, Josh looked up at you with lust-darkened eyes, his breathing ragged. "God, I've wanted this," he rasped, his thumbs rubbing circles on your hips. "Wanted you."

Your cheeks flushed, your pupils dilated with desire. You rocked your hips gently, feeling Josh's hardness beneath you. "Then take me," you whispered, your voice husky with need. "Make me forget everything else."

Your words were a siren's call, urging Josh to claim you, to lose himself in the pleasure only you could provide. With a low growl, he turned, flipping you effortlessly with him. He pinned you against the bed, his mouth devouring yours as his hands roamed your curves.

"I will," he promised against your lips, his voice thick with arousal. "I'll make you forget your own name if that's what it takes."

Josh's hands slid under your nightgown, caressing the warm skin of your stomach before dipping lower to bunch your skirts. He lifted them up your thighs, his fingers tracing the edges of your panties before slipping beneath the fabric to stroke your slick folds.

You moaned into the kiss, your nails digging into Josh's shoulders as you ground against his touch. "Please," you whimpered, your hips circling desperately.

Josh swallowed your whimper with another searing kiss, his fingers delving deeper into your heat. Your wetness coated his digits, making them glide easily over your sensitive clit.

He circled the swollen nub, applying just the right amount of pressure to send shockwaves of pleasure through you.

"Tell me what you need, baby," Josh breathed against your lips, his thumb continuing its maddening dance on your clit while his middle finger pushed inside you, curling to stroke that sweet spot deep within. "I'm gonna give it to you."

Your head thrashed from side to side, your hips bucking wildly against Josh's hand. "Don't stop," you gasped, your walls clenching around his invading finger. "Fuck, Josh, please..."

Your pleas fell on deaf ears as Josh continued his relentless assault on your senses. He added a second finger, scissoring them inside you as he pumped them in and out, his thumb still mercilessly stimulating your clit.

"You're so fucking tight," Josh grunted, his cock straining against his zipper. "I can feel you milking my fingers."

He curled his fingers just right, hitting that magic spot inside you that made stars burst behind your eyelids. Your legs wrapped around his waist, ankles locking at the small of his back as you rode his hand with abandon.

"Yes, yes, oh fuck!" you cried out, your orgasm cresting like a tidal wave. Your inner muscles spasmed around Josh's fingers, drawing them even deeper as you came beneath him.

Josh felt your climax wash over you like a tsunami, your cunt clamping down on his fingers like a vice. He worked you through the aftershocks, prolonging your pleasure until you collapsed back against the mattress, panting and dazed.

With a final, tender kiss to your forehead, Josh withdrew his fingers, bringing them to his lips to taste your wetness. "Delicious," he murmured, his green eyes never leaving your flushed face.

He quickly unbuttoned his jeans, pulling it down just enough to reveal his hard, throbbing cock.

Josh crawled over you, propping himself up on his elbows as he aligned his member with your entrance. "You ready for me?" he asked, his voice rough with need.

You nodded, your hands reaching for him, eager to pull him close. "Please, Josh," you begged, your body arching towards his.

With a low, primal groan, Josh thrust into you, burying himself to the hilt in one powerful stroke. Both of you gasped at the sensation, Josh's thickness stretching you impossibly wide as he filled you completely.

Josh began to move, setting a relentless pace as he drove into you again and again. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the room, punctuated by your panting and Josh's guttural moans.

You met every thrust with equal fervor, your hips rising to meet Josh's as you wrapped your legs around his waist. Your nails dug into his back, piercing his skin through his shirt as you urged him on.

"So good," you whimpered, your head tossing from side to side. "Fuck, Josh, you feel amazing! I missed you so much."

Josh's grip on you tightened, his fingers digging into your hips as he pounded into you with reckless abandon. The way you took him, so eagerly, so perfectly, sent waves of ecstasy crashing through his veins.

"I missed you too," he gritted out between clenched teeth, his breath hot against your neck. "Every damn day without you felt like forever."

He reached between your straining bodies, finding your swollen clit and rubbing it in time with his thrusts. The added stimulation sent you careening towards another peak, your inner walls fluttering around Josh's cock.

"That's it, baby," he coaxed, his voice a low rasp. "Come for me again. Let go and scream my name."

Your world narrowed to the incredible feeling of Josh's cock driving into you, stroking that secret spot inside you that made you see stars. His fingers on your clit were the final trigger, sending you hurtling over the edge once more.

"Josh!" you gasped, your voice cracking as your orgasm ripped through you. Your pussy clenched rhythmically around him, milking his cock for all it was worth.

Through the haze of your pleasure, you felt Josh's movements become erratic, his thrusts growing shorter and more urgent. With a final, deep plunge, he buried himself inside you and stilled, his hot seed spurting into your welcoming depths.

"Oh god!" Josh groaned, his body shuddering above yours as he emptied himself into you.

Josh collapsed onto you, his weight pressing you into the mattress as he struggled to catch his breath. Your hearts raced in tandem, pounding out a frantic rhythm that seemed to fill the entire room.

After a long moment, Josh lifted his head, his eyes searching your face with a mix of tenderness and awe. "That was... incredible," he whispered, brushing a strand of sweat-dampened hair from your forehead. "Being with you again... it feels like coming home."

Josh pressed a soft kiss to your lips, savoring the taste of you, "I know I messed up, baby," he whispered, his voice full of quiet desperation. "But I promise, I won't let anything tear us apart again."

You smiled up at him in a daze, your heart swelling with relief. His words were everything you wanted to hear. As your eyes fluttered tiredly, a small sigh escaped your lips. "I love you," you murmured, your voice barely audible as sleep overtook you.

Josh watched intently as your breathing evened out, the soft rise and fall of your chest the only sound in the room. Your face softened in sleep, a peaceful expression settling over your features.

He leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, his voice barely a whisper. "I love you too."

For a moment, he lingered, staring down at you, his heart aching with the weight of everything between the two of you. As much as he wanted to stay there, holding you, forgetting the world outside, he knew he couldn’t.

Not yet.

He stood slowly, his movements deliberate as he fixed his clothing, then blew out the candles, the room sinking into darkness. The soft moonlight streaming through the window cast long shadows across the floor.

With one last glance at you, Josh made his way toward the door, the tightness in his chest almost unbearable.

Before closing it behind him, he locked the door from the outside, his hand lingering on the knob for a moment longer than necessary.

You didn’t deserve this.

His heart twisted as he walked away, leaving the room behind. He didn’t want you involved. But the plan was already in motion, and he couldn’t back out now.

[rei-ismyname]

Uncanny X-Men #7 - RAID ON GRAYMALKIN

Last week in X-Men #8 we saw the Alaskan team kick off the raid with overwhelming force and speed. It wasn't until the last page that we found out the Uncanny X-Men are there too. We knew it was coming, but we hadn't seen it - and it came at the worst time, of course. Spoilers, naturally.

Good question, Scott. Not a very convincing answer. Bizarre threat

Editorial has been hyping an ideological divide between Rogue and Cyclops, but it hasn't been shown on page in any meaningful way. Light tension? Sure, but nothing that justified the divide. Since it's been promised to us since issue #1, part of my analysis will focus on how well that's achieved. I have a great deal of respect for for the called shot - announcing a bold change ahead of time - but it's risky because you need to stick the landing perfectly. The two leaders did talk on the phone before the raid, which is good to see, but I have to say both positions feel bizarre and out of character. Scott is a planner - one of the best, and I can buy him asking Rogue to sit out if they weren't going to work together - but he lead with that proposal and the reason makes little sense. This is going to be perceived as a war regardless - they're using DEMONS lol. They're attacking a for-profit prison implicitly backed by the government. The O.N.E is showing up to Alaska very soon, I promise you.

His second argument is better- that two teams, one with no plan and a bunch of kids to look after - doing a jailbreak at the same time is going to cause bloodshed. Rogue's pivot to talking about love is a bit confusing. Maybe it's meant to make Scott look cold and Rogue warm?

Scott asks the question that I've been dying to know the answer to 'have I let you down?/what's the problem?' Rogue's answer - that they were waiting for him to step up - makes me wonder if there's information that hasn't been revealed. Stepping up is what he's been doing, so unless there's something else it makes Rogue look capricious and a little selfish. That can work for certain characters, but Rogue is meant to be the heroic leader. Scott's argument boils down to his team being better equipped for the mission and when Rogue asks 'how do we get in without dyin?' (once they're in the bushes outside Graymalkin) it's hard to argue the point. At worst Scott is being blunt and a little rude, but he is being respectful and talking to her as an equal. He values her opinion.

Tempers are high, of course, but Simone is not selling Rogue as a leader to me. Nor have we seen a difference in ideology besides Scott wanting to shut the prison down and Rogue just wanting her teammates back. One of these positions is not very heroic but either way they're not finding common ground.

We get a replay of key moments from X-Men #8, taking up a little too much space. Uncanny has a habit of not trusting readers to put the dots together themselves. The new information from the recap is the phone call and this exchange about Cyclops' nickname. I'm not sure I buy him objecting to being called Slim, but if that's how Simone wants to use page space, that's her prerogative. I think it's meant to be funny, along with the self-aware 'I was never fun.' A wink at how he's perceived.

We get a refresher on how awful Warden Ellis is, which is necessary, as she's the closest thing this event has to an antagonist. She seems a little flatter than she's been presented so far - I know nothing of the why of her mutant hatred. Maybe that's not going to matter as it's just a big ol' mutant punch-up, if so what's the point of having her around, spending so much time with her?

Rogue initially is against the kids coming along but it doesn't take much to convince her. Let's look at it as a collaborative style of leadership. Chekhov's Eye of Agamotto makes itself very useful again and serves as a way to teleport the whole crew to Graymalkin (except Ember.) It definitely looks cool and gets them from A to B quickly. The only comment I have on its narrative function is that it highlights the complete lack of plan. Rogue's caption says she knows Scott is right, so what's the deal?

Seriously, I'd expect Logan to point out the risk here. Not sure Rogue has earned that blind trust.

Calico is honestly the star of the issue, refusing to sign the affidavit from last issue and declining a lift - instead choosing to walk to her family. She has a moment when she hears her mother's voice and admits she's scared. After the suddenness of her self acceptance in Uncanny #6 it's a canny choice to centre her. Calico turns around and summons Ember, her horse, who did not come with the rest of the team. She powers up for war and breaks through one of the walls. It's a great character moment for her as she has no idea her team is here. Calico being able to teleport (?) Ember 1400 miles is wild - this girl is powerful.

It's also a very fortunate moment for Rogue's squad as they now have a way in without dying, but why are they even in this position in the first place? I feel like I'm being asked to pick a side but not given a reason to. I hope they both prosper, but it's looking like the Uncanny X-Men should have stayed home.

About halfway through the book we pick up where X-Men #8 left off - Rogue had just knocked out Fred Dukes/The Blob and delivered a one liner. Turns out Scurvy, the Graymalkin telepath, is under orders to 'make them angry.' That complicates why exactly this fight kicks off - Logan told Ransom not to attack unless Scott touched his temple, so when Scott uses his comm it's on. To Logan's credit he picks up on that and tries to deescalate. As you can see Scott doesn't need to touch his temple to use optic blasts.

Psychic suggestion plus a simple mistake definitely muddles what's been sold as a fight with ideological stakes. Obviously there's still room for that, but so far it's looking like an uninspired superhero punch-up as we've seen many times before. Temper/Idie unloads on former Headmaster and advocate Wolverine, calling him a traitor. I'm always down for callbacks to her justified feelings about how Krakoa treated her, but Scurvy's influence casts doubt on whether we should take it seriously.

None of these faces look angry at all.

The conflict escalates with a couple of beats that made me scratch my head. There's story elements I don't like and there's those I think don't work narratively or in service of the characters. These panels are both. Rogue takes issue with Scott 'smackin kids around' as if he isn't defending himself non-lethally and Rogue didn't bring children to a high stakes fight. Rogue has also fought these kids based off a misunderstanding and didn't just stand there getting beat down.

We could blame Scurvy's influence for this, but nobody seems all that angry. Maybe the kids, but they're Rogue's responsibility. Kurt is decidedly the opposite of angry as he teleports Psylocke elsewhere, for fear she'd murder someone. He's quite polite, even, so if I'm being generous Scurvy is just generally messing with their emotions. I'm not sure if he's meant to be a threat or not. He can clearly affect people, but he doesn't seem that troublesome - certainly not the guy who was matching brains with Chuck in The Infinity Comics. I don't buy Kurt believing Kwannon would kill any of them even a little bit.

Deathdream and Magik shape up for a hell battle, but there's not enough space for more than an introduction. Logan isn't fighting back, which is cool. It's positive to see him being cool-headed. Rogue has Cyclops by the throat but jokes on her because he's into that shit. The Juggernaut turns the tables and breaks the fight up by plowing through many a wall.

You were not 'doin so good.' This is a failure of leadership and risking everyone's lives. Scott was right, y'all should have stayed home.

Ellis continues to be the worst, though the lens she views mutants through has narrowed significantly. She's been dishing out violence willy-nilly and doesn't seem to care about her own side being hurt. She's all over the place character-wise, but narratively she introduces more threats in the form of the Wolfpack - those robo dogs we saw killing Colossus in Harvey X's vision.

This wall in particular gets both of their attention, as they speculate on who's in the fallout shelter. Rogue's captions are not a good look for her, but maybe we can chalk it up to Scurvy? I doubt it, frankly. The rift between the two leaders is very thin right now to the point that I feel there has to be more coming. I want both books to do well and I especially want Uncanny to develop a thesis + Rogue as a leader. Petty and irrational are not Rogue's flaws, she's better than this and I'd like to see it.

They agree to a truce and we get a bunch of cliffhangers.

- The Wolfpack and the 3 trustees, Blob, Siryn and Wild Child. Fred is as verbose as we've seen him this era and his ultimatum could be read several ways. The dogs seem to be behaving, even following the trustees I assume. Still, a very difficult situation to navigate. You can't punch your way out of someone who wants to stay.

- Rogue wants to crack the cell open and Cyclops questions whether they should. It's definitely a valid question, even if it's just 'do we want to do this before winning the battle?' Solicits have been promising a feud over 'the uncertain legacy of Charles Xavier' since the beginning - this is a logical place to kick that off. I look forward to seeing how it's handled over the next two issues and beyond. Chuck's legacy is rife with dramatic and ideological elements to disagree over and discuss. Logan and Scott should definitely have strong feelings.

- The feud between the two leaders/teams. Rogue says this isn't over, though I'm not satisfied with her reasons or characterisation. It feels one-sided to me, even moreso than the Cyclops vs whoever rifts of the past. It hasn't called back to their history either in any significant way, and there is a lot to use there. I doubt we'll get that though - this era is very back to basics and continuity-light - which is only a big deal if you care about continuity a lot.

I wasn't sure where else to put this - Jubilee and Beast get some prison drama moments and manage to fight back once they hear the ruckus. Jubes picks the locks on her chains and makes mayhem and Beast recovers from his vicious beating very quickly to deliver his own. Jubilee especially needs the page time though it does make the Graymalkin prison look incompetent.

I'm sure they'll put up a better fight in the next two event issues but I'm wary of there being enough space for all these plot elements. Raid on Graymalkin has 40 pages left, even less if they recap at the start of every issue. Uncanny X-Men #7 had some cool moments but put the brakes on the momentum built in X-Men #8. Doing a mini crossover this early is a very bold choice - it remains to be seen if that's going to pay off for Uncanny. We got to know Calico better and saw some fist pumping growth but her fellow Outliers remain thinly characterised. Nightcrawler is suffering similarly too, it'd be nice to know why he's here and what he thinks about anything. His bizarre fear of murder by Psylocke is weak.

The artwork is beautiful as always, even making a drab prison pop. It's doing some heavy lifting for a book that's not sweating the details in favour of looking cool. On its own this issue is a bit of a flop and the conflict feels unserious, but there's still room to turn it around by introducing STAKES. A 4 issue event is difficult to get right in the best of circumstances, here's hoping all this setup leads to higher stakes and a shakeup of the status quo.

[anime-grimmy]

Soooo, you've probably noticed Ive been replaying HZD recently so my mind's been stuck on the franchise for a while.

I finally took the time to actually try and experience Burning Shores for the first time, this time with an unbiased opinion.

Bcs, ngl, when it came out, I was very negative towards it for a couple of reasons. It already started out with me not being able to freaking play this DLC, even though I was so excited for it, cos while HFW was on PS4, the DLC wasnt. And Im wasnt going to buy a whole ass PS5 just for a DLC.

(I will get it once I buy a PS5 for MH Wilds though).

And then, ofc, the elephant in the room - Seyka, or rather Aloy's relationship with her.

I'll preface this with, though it should be obvious with my content, I do NOT have a problem with Aloy being in a gay relationship.

What rly irked me, and honestly still irks me, is that Aloy finally gets to experience new feelings IN A FUCKING DLC. AN EXTENSION A LOT OF THE PLAYERBASE WONT PLAY.

The second reason I didnt enjoy this decision was bcs it felt so rushed. I mean, we're talking about Aloy here! Miss "I dont have time for feelings bcs I gotta save the world"! Miss "I barely just learnt to let others in"!

From what Ive heard, the DLC is over the course of a few weeks/months, so it's not like they fell in love just like that, but Ive also heard that while playing you do not get a feel for that passage of time. I'll have to experience that for myself though.

Now that Ive had some distance from the franchise though, my feelings have changed a bit

Im not going to lie and say I now loooove this decision. No, I am still miffed such enourmous character developement for Aloy is stuck IN A DLC. Not to mention that it was such a bold move to try this with a new character, cos this relationship being perceived well hinges on the player liking Seykay and that fast. Imo she's a fine character but also nothing special.

Now, I do have to say, I am really happy that Aloy has finally come so far that she allows such intimate feelings to develop, or rather, that the devs let her be this way. I know a lot of us still perceive Aloy as this single minded protag, that wont let anyone in bcs "the mission is too important", so Im glad Guerilla shows us that Aloy has undergone quite the growth.

Im also pleasantly surprised that Guerilla has the guts to include romance for Aloy, bcs they were one leg in the "strong women need no (wo)men" pit, so it's great to see they dont let Aloy fall into that trope.

Now, for the FUN part.

I actually have a conspiracy theory, ie I am gaslighting myself on why such a big thing is stuck in a DLC.

I think Guerilla is testing the waters to see how players react. I am pretty sure they can gather the data on what dialogue options players used, so Im thinking this:

Guerilla is trying to gauge the player reaction on a) Aloy developing feelings, b) players thinking Aloy is ready/willing for a relationship, c) same sex relationships. They tried killing quite a few birds with one stone.

I have seen quite a few teasing, winky face posts and replies from Guerilla staff about romance options in the third installment, so my guess (delusion) is that the relationship is hidden in the DLC so Guerilla can plan on how much and obvious to include several romance options in the last title.

I know this is all just wishful thinking, but even if Seyka is a good character, I hope to fucking god that they dont just take that relationship decision away from us, esp with a character bound to a DLC.

Guerilla gave us such a wonderful cast of characters over the last two games, and if they want to give Aloy an "end game" in the third title, I hope they do let us choose with who. Or at least I hope they dont force a relationship we cant choose onto us.

Cos as much as Aloy is her own person, it is still US that make the decisions in game. Through our individual playstyles , we give Aloy our own interpretation. Now, we cant change her core values, but still, I hope to GAIA that Guerilla will give us enough wiggle room.

(Guerilla, Im begging you, Ive already waited 8 years, please dont let my ship sink)

[atinylittlepain]

Apothecary - Chapter Two

joel miller x witchy!reader

series masterlist

everyone's got something to say about her, and Joel doesn't know what to make of it. when he returns the favor he owes her, he tries to get some answers up in the mountains and away from the wagging tongues of Jackson.

warnings | 18+ angst, mentions of death, spooky-ooky vibes, people being superstitious dickheads

a/n | thank you all for the love on the first part of this series! i just got so excited i couldn't help but write the second part :) keep letting me know what you think, my inbox is always open and i love to hear from you!

.................................

“My son had a cough since he was two years old. She cured it with whatever she keeps bubbling on that stove of hers.”

“I had a rash that just wouldn’t go away. She gave me a balm that cleared it right up. A godsend, really.”

“Wouldn’t be alive today if she hadn’t nursed me back to health with all those herbs and plants she tends to.” 

“She talks to animals. Calmed a bucking colt with a whisper– I saw it myself!”

“I heard that infected don’t even notice her. Just walk right past her. That ain’t human, if you ask me.”

“That cat of hers spies on people and brings all their secrets back to her. You can’t tell me that’s a normal cat, not with the way it stares at folks.”

“Some of the women say they’ve seen her out in the middle of the night, dancing naked in her backyard whenever it’s a full moon.”

“I don’t know about dancing naked, but I have seen some strange lights coming from her shop on my way home from the Tipsy Bison. Lord knows what she gets up to in there.”

“She curses men. Lures them up into the mountains and puts them under her spell. But they always end up dead.”

“Dead?”

“As a doornail. It ain’t a coincidence that any man that crosses paths with her seems to wind up with one really unlucky patrol shift. Luck’s got nothing to do with it, lemme tell you.” 

Even though Tommy told him to forget about it, Joel’s been doing a bit of recon, asking people around town about her, and every new anecdote only further confuses him. It seems like everyone’s got some sort of opinion about the resident witch.

It has shocked him, really, how openly folks call her that. Even the ones that speak highly of her. He had asked Ellie about what she had heard one day after she came home from her classes at the community school. She had shrugged, a knowing grin on her face

“Well, she sure helped me out, old man. But yeah, my friends say their moms call her a lot worse names than witch. Personally, I think it’s fucking cool. D’you think she can fly around on a broom like in the movies?” Joel had not been particularly amused by that question.

He’s not sure what to make of any of it. Some people call her a saint. Others call her the devil incarnate. But there does seem to be a general consensus that any man that sets her in his sights is doomed to meet a timely demise.

It’s been two weeks since he saw her at the town market, and he hasn’t even caught a glimpse of her since. According to Maria, she’s been busy with a flare-up of some sort of stomach bug in the community, making house calls and – Joel supposes – working her magic. 

He can’t figure out why he even cares. After all, he’s only met the woman once. But he can’t seem to shake her out of his thoughts, replaying their meeting over and over in his head, particularly the moment she had said Sarah’s name with such certainty.

He finds himself rolling all this over in his mind most nights, sitting out on his front porch as the summer sun turns to thick liquid over the mountains. It’s in such a position that he finally sees her again, approaching his house with a tired smile on her face.

“Hey there, stranger.” She walks up the first step to his porch, leaning against the wooden beam as she speaks. He can’t help the way his eyes trail over her, a pair of coveralls like the kind mechanics used to wear pulled distractingly taut around the swell of her hips and a cloth bag slung over her shoulder, the tops of jars and bottles peeking out of it. When his eyes finally slip back up to her face, the quirk of her eyebrows lets him know that she totally clocked him checking her out, and he has to clear his throat, swallowing his embarrassment before he responds.

“Um, hey– hi. I, uh, haven’t seen you around lately.” She tilts her head at him, smile simmering down to a crooked smirk.

“I’ve been a little busy with all the– y’know, vomiting and diarrhea around town. But I think folks are finally out of the woods now.” Joel has to wonder to himself how she can still manage to look pretty while talking about vomiting and diarrhea.

“How exactly do you help– with that?” Her smile broadens.

“For the stuff coming out the top end, peppermint oil mostly. Ginger is king, but I’ve only got so much of it cultivating at the shop. For the problem down below, you just gotta push fluids and tell them it’ll pass.” 

“Can I ask– how do you know this stuff?” 

“Most of what I know comes from my mom. She was a lady of the plants, knew just about everything about anything that grows.” Fondness laces through her words, a soft smile as she tells him this, and he finds himself mirroring her expression.

“Lady of the plants– that’s a new one to me.” 

“Well, it’s better than witch, right?” Joel’s smile falls, but she just laughs.

“So I take it you’ve heard the rumors about me?” He’s not sure how to respond, a thickness settling in his throat and ice prickling the back of his neck. His voice comes out a bit hoarse when he does finally answer.

“Heard a lot of things about you. Not really sure what to believe though.” Her smile screws up at that, eyes crinkling as she looks at him.

“Why don’t you just ask me what you’re wondering then? Get it straight from the source.” She crosses her arms over her chest, the unbuttoned snaps of her coveralls splaying open to reveal the edge of a white tank-top, the suggestion of cleavage drawing Joel’s eyes before he can help it. He swallows hard, eyes darting back up to hers.

“Is it– I mean– are you?”

“Am I what?” She wants to hear him say it, he can tell by the ghosting curve of her lips. The word feels silly coming out of his mouth.

“Are you a– a witch?” Her smile goes practically radioactive at that, big and bright as she throws her head back in a laugh. She looks back at him, her lips pursed, eyes narrowed.

“Oh yeah, certified. Got the black cat to prove it and everything.” As if on cue, Stevie jumps up onto the railing of the porch, making Joel jump in his seat. She stifles a giggle behind her hand, Stevie nuzzling against her arm that’s wrapped around the porch beam. Joel huffs.

“Look, it seems like everyone’s got something to say about you. But I’m not the kind of guy to buy into a bunch of bullshit rumors.” She hums at that.

“Oh, no? What kind of guy are you then, Joel?” 

“The kind that likes to work things out for himself.” 

“Is that what this is? You working me out?” 

“Sure am trying to.” She sucks her teeth, squinting at him.

“And?” Joel sighs.

“And– I’m thinking it’s gonna take me a while to reach any kind of conclusion.” She nods lightly at that, smiling at Stevie as scratches under the cat’s chin.

“Hmm, alright. You let me know when you reach your conclusion then.” A thick blink of silence falls between them, and Joel finds himself unable to tear his eyes away from hers, only breaking when she lets out a sigh.

“I didn’t just come over here to give you a hard time. Was actually hoping to cash in on that favor you owe me.” He sits up a little straighter at that, nodding.

“Alright, when did you wanna go out– I mean– not– go out– like– not like a–” She laughs, silencing his floundering. 

“I know what you meant. And I was thinking the end of this week? Do you have time on Friday?” 

“Uh-huh, yep. That’s my day off.” Her face falls.

“Oh, I don’t wanna take up your day off, I’m–”

“Don’t worry about that. I’m happy to help, really.” Her frown softens into a suggestion of a smile, and she nods.

“Well, alright. Thank you, Joel. You good to meet at the gates that morning?” 

“I’ll be there, darlin. Sounds like a plan.” She grins.

“Until then, Joel.” She turns, hopping down from the porch step, before glancing over her shoulder to look at him.

“Oh, and don’t worry. I’m not gonna curse you. Not yet at least.” It’s so unexpected, he ends up choking on an inhale, but his coughing doesn’t drown out the sound of her laugh as she slinks away from his house. He’s so busy watching her saunter off that he doesn’t notice the cat jumping down from the railing, startling him when she starts twining between his legs. Stevie looks up at him, yellow eyes unblinking, as if she’s expecting something from him. He tentatively leans forward, holding out his open hand which the cat sniffs at before nudging her head into his palm, a low purr vibrating through her body. 

“You gonna go tell her all my secrets, Stevie?” The cat looks up at him, head tilted. A little too human-like for Joel’s taste. She lets out a small mrrp, before going back to twining between his legs, sleek spine arching up into Joel’s hand. Then, just as quickly as she had appeared, she pads off down the steps of his porch and out into the night. 

…

“Rumor has it you’re helping a certain lady out with some work up in the mountains tomorrow.” Joel huffs at his brother’s cocked eyebrow and crooked smirk.  He takes a sharp swig of his drink before responding.

“Owe her a favor, that's all. And before you tell me I’m not gonna come back alive, I’ve already heard that from four other people this week.” That gets a laugh out of Tommy, his eyes glancing around the bar before focusing back on Joel. 

“Nah, you’ll come back alive. It’s the days after when they always end up dead.” 

“You serious?” Tommy shrugs.

“There’s been a couple of guys, sure. But if you ask me, that has more to do with the stories people believe than it does with her. What we believe, we create, brother. The mind is a powerful thing.” He punctuates his words with a tap of his fingers to his temple. Joel grumbles.

“Yeah, yeah, alright, wise ass. But you’re telling me there really have been men who’ve–”

“It’s all coincidence, Joel. Like I said, there have been a few guys who started chasing after her. Went up into the mountains with her, y’know, all romantic and shit. And then, well, it seems like every time, only a few days later, they wound up dead. But in every instance, it was a bad patrol shift that got them. S’just coincidence that it happened after they got with her.”

“How many coincidences?” Tommy sighs.

“Four. In the last four years or so.” Joel feels his brows lift at that.

“That’s a lot of fucking coincidences, Tommy.” Tommy shrugs.

“Look, folks always talk about how horrible it is that all these men died. And it is. But no one thinks to mention what that must have done to her. To like someone? Hell, maybe even love someone? And then not only have them taken away from you, but to then be blamed for it too? It’s fucking atrocious, man.” When Tommy finishes speaking, silence falls between them, Joel a bit stunned by the clear compassion Tommy speaks with about her.

“Why d’you even care? Why not join the crowd, huh?” Tommy frowns at that, twirling his liquor in his glass rather than looking at his brother.

“I didn’t tell you this– I mean, why would I? But, Maria had a pretty difficult pregnancy.” He takes a sharp inhale before continuing to speak.

“We weren’t sure if– if the baby– if we were gonna be ok. And she was there for us, through it all.” Joel can see the tears pooling in his brother’s eyes, glinting in the low light of the bar when he finally looks at him.

“I don’t know if we’d have our boy today if it hadn’t been for her. So yeah, I care about her. And I’ll side with her every time. And most folks will too, when push comes to shove. She’s done a lot for this community. But it’s easy to spread poison behind people’s backs. So that’s what they do.” Tommy sits back on his stool, sighing deeply.

“Suppose a lot of the men see her as a challenge, y’know? Steal a cursed kiss and live to tell the tale, or some bullshit like that. And the women see the men pining after her, and they don’t like that one bit. Either way, they talk, way more than they should.” Tommy throws back the last of his drink, wincing at the burn. Joel, meanwhile, is still trying to process everything his brother just told him.

“So should I tell the kid to start planning my funeral, or what?” Tommy laughs, shaking his head.

“Nah, I think you’re too much of a stubborn ass to let a rinky-dink curse sway you. Besides, I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.” Joel squints at his brother.

“Why’s that?” 

“You said you’re just doing a favor for her. She might not even like you enough to curse you, brother.”

…

Joel doesn’t sleep at all that night. His mind works over what Tommy told him again and again, trying to reach some sort of conclusion about everything he’s learned, and coming up short every time. He shuffles out in the early morning light, eyes bleary as he nears the gate. She, however, is chipper as anything, smiling broadly when she sees him.

“Hey there, you ready to go?” He nods, grumbling out a quiet affirmation, and then they’re off.

Most of the morning is spent in silence, hiking up into the mountains. Joel knows that it’s not infected they have to worry about, not out here. But raiders are a whole other story, so he keeps a steady hand on his rifle slung over his shoulder, letting her lead them a few paces ahead of him. 

“You’re quiet this morning.” She glances at him over her shoulder as she speaks, eyebrow lifted.

“I’m thinking.” 

“About?” He huffs, stopping where he stands in the underbrush of the woods. When she realizes he’s no longer following, she turns back around, hands on her hips as she looks at him.

“I just– I wish you’d give me some straight answers here. I’ve heard something different about you from just about everyone in town– and I’m not sure if I believe any of it. Just– please.” Her brow is furrowed, eyes squinted at him as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“What do you want from me, Joel?” He swallows hard, eyes glancing around the thick trees before looking back at her.

“The truth– I want the truth.” She sighs, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific than that.” He has to laugh out of frustration at this little game they’re playing, pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out a low curse before focusing back on her.

“Alright, I’ll be specific. All those men that died. A lot of folks around town are convinced that you had something to do with it. S’that true?” When she speaks, Joel’s taken aback by her tone, her usual lightness replaced by a steeled stoicism.

“I had nothing to do with that. Any of it. The only curse that was on those men was their own goddamn minds buying into the town bullshit.” He’s inclined to believe her, judging by her unwavering gaze and the sure tilt of her chin as she speaks, but there’s still more that he needs to know.

“But you are– different. Aren’t you?” That coaxes a smile out of her, and she steps a bit closer to him.

“Different.” She says the word like a challenge, and he nods, taking his own steps closer to her.

“Is that your conclusion, Joel?” Both of them have their arms crossed over their chests, and they now stand so close that their forearms lightly brush.

“Starting to think I ain’t ever gonna reach a conclusion about you, darlin.” Her eyes crinkle, smile threatening to crook into a full-blown grin.

“Would that be such a bad thing? No conclusion?” It’s like magnets, the way their faces tilt, subtle shifts toward one another until he can feel the light air of her exhale across his mouth. He hums, a low sound in his chest.

“I think I’ll live.” He can practically feel the stretch of her grin at his words.

“I think you will too.” It happens as easily as a tide rolling in, languid in the way their lips slip together. His hands find the sweep of her jaw, pulling her in deeper, her palms splaying over his chest. He’s a little surprised when she swipes her tongue over the curve of his bottom lip, coaxing him open and tangling even closer with him. A woman has never taken charge like this with him, and it’s making his head spin. When she does pull away, he’s only a little embarrassed by the way he chases after her lips, stuttering into some sort of composure when she grins at him.

“For the record, you’re not wrong.” Not entirely sure what she means, he frowns at her, shaking his head. She laughs.

“I am different, Joel.”

“That wasn’t just a lucky guess, was it? About– about Sarah?” Her eyes soften, features dropping into a sad understanding. She slides her palms up from his chest to twine behind his neck. 

“No, it wasn’t.” 

…

“This is lemon balm.” She glances over her shoulder at him from where she’s crouched down, thumbing at a cropping of large, waxy leaves. He’s learned the names of more plants today than he could ever remember, though he still nods when she shows him a new one like he has any clue what it is.

“What do you use that for?” 

“You dry it, and then you can brew tea with it. It’s calming– helps with sleep and stress. Or you can mix it into salve to treat cold sores. Though not many people in Jackson come to me with that problem.” She clips several leaves from the plant, carefully tucking them into her pack and slinging it over her shoulder as she stands back up. 

They’ve been out all day, moving through the woods as she collects various plant snippings, explaining each one to him, how to use it and what its use is. And between them, a silent understanding has settled, even though Joel hasn’t asked anymore questions about her. But he knows that Tommy was right. Whatever she is, she’s a good one.

“We oughta head back soon. Sun’s starting to set.” She nods, wiping her hands off on the front of her jeans, and they easily step into stride with one another. They spend most of the hike back in a comfortable silence. Joel finds himself wanting to say something, ask something more, but always hesitating, mind hazy from the heat of the day, and from the stamped memory of the kiss they shared. Even if it was cursed, he reckons that he wouldn’t mind that.

“Joel? I want to say thank you.” He glances at her walking alongside him, the quick-fading light casting syrupy shadows across her features. He has to blink a few times to keep himself from staring.

“No need for thanks. I was happy to repay the favor.” 

“No, that’s– that’s not what I meant. I mean– thank you for coming out today with me, I appreciate it. But– I wanted to thank you for– thinking for yourself– about me.” That makes him stop in his stride, turning to fully look at her as she does the same. They’ve just crested a hill, the gates of Jackson coming into view, and her eyes keep glancing back toward it, a nervous crease between her brows.

“It’s just– you’re right– I know everyone has something to say about me. And I guess I don’t have too many friends because of it. Most folks make up their minds about me before they even talk to me. So, thank you– for not doing that.” His chest twists at her words, the worried look scrunched across her face. He’d like to take the pain away that’s clear in her expression. And then, that tightness in his chest grows for a different reason, as he realizes that he’s already in far too deep with her. He has to clear his throat to shake away the thickening feeling, tentatively reaching his hand out to her, his fingers skating over the faint dip of her collarbone. He can see her breath catch at his touch, and he revels in it, letting his hand trail down her arm until their fingers are tangling together.

“You shouldn’t have to thank me for that. Whatever may or may not be true about you– no one deserves that. I just– why do you help them– when they treat you the way they do?” She sighs, squeezing his hand in hers, and giving a weak shrug of her shoulders.

“Because it’s what I’m good at. I always wanted to help people– and that’s what I get to do. Even if some of them are fucking dicks about it.” Her crassness catches him off guard, pulling a stuttering laugh from his chest as she grins. But she’s all seriousness again, clearing her throat, her brow pulling down.

“Suppose I should warn you now that they’ll talk about you too– if you stick around me. And I don’t blame you if you don’t want–” He’s heard enough, and does something entirely too bold by closing the distance between them to steal another kiss, her wide eyes meeting his when he pulls away.

“Don’t care what any of ‘em have to say about me, or about you. They can talk all they want, darlin.” He can feel the relief in her sigh. She nods, giving his hand one final squeeze before breaking away, continuing the walk back to town. 

When they get back inside the gates, she offers him a small smile, her hands fidgeting with the straps of her pack.

“Thank you again. I really appreciated your help.” 

“Like I said, it was no–”

“Well, well, well– what do we have here? Looks like she’s got Miller under her spell, boys!” The change in her demeanor is instant, face scrunching up as they both turn to see where the commentary is coming from. Joel recognizes the man, Mason, if he remembers right, and a small group of other guys he knows from past patrol meetings. They’ve all got a similar sneer across their faces, eyes zeroed in on her, and he has to fight the urge to step in front of her to get them to stop looking at her like that.

“Guess we better get another coffin ready, huh? Hate to break it to you, Miller. She may be pretty, but she ain’t nothing but bad news.” Joel’s fists clench at his sides, and as the men break into another howl of laughter, his feet start moving toward them before his brain can catch up. But she’s quick to step in front of him, hands pressing into his chest and eyes fierce.

“Don’t– it’s not worth it.” It’s immediate, the calm that washes over him with her words, though he still glares over her shoulder at the men, whose laughter has only escalated.

“Awww, she got you good, man! Hey, witchy-poo! What kinda magic you got working on Miller to have him so whipped?” And with that, Joel is ready to bash their heads in all over again, though she holds him back with her palms firm against the front of his shirt. 

“Joel, it’s fine. They’re harmless, really.” He glances at the men one more time before finally focusing back on her, huffing as he nods. She gives him what she can of a smile, worry still pressed between her brows. 

“I’ll see you soon, ok?” His hands flex at his sides, wanting more than anything to tuck her under his arm and walk off together, but he settles for another nod, and a whispered acquiescence. She’s gone in a blink, walking off to the hollering of the men behind her. Before he can do something stupid, Joel heads off in the opposite direction toward the Tipsy Bison. He needs a fucking drink.

…

Joel is nursing his second tumbler of whiskey when just about the last person he’d like to see sidles up next to him at the bar. 

“Miller.” Mason sits down on the stool next to him, but Joel keeps his eyes on his swirling glass. 

“Look, man, I’m sorry for giving you a hard time out there. But I’m trying to help you out.” Joel rests his elbows on the bar, glancing briefly at Mason.

“Don’t remember asking for your help, man.” Mason laughs, turning on his stool to fully face Joel, a stupid grin across his face.

“Well then you don’t know her as well as we all do. I meant what I said, y’know. She’s bad news.” Joel’s starting to feel that anger creeping up his throat, angling himself just slightly in Mason’s direction to get a good look at him.

“Son, I’ve heard enough stories this week to have a pretty good idea of just how full of shit you all are. I thought this was a community of decent people, really. But after being told one too many times about some ridiculous curse, I realize you’re nothing but fools and cowards.” Mason laughs again, and Joel’s a blink away from slapping the sound right out of his mouth. 

“I’m not talking about that bullshit curse.” Joel squints at him.

“Come again?” 

“That curse you’re referring to? I agree with you that it’s town nonsense. But that’s not what I’m talking about.” When Joel stays silent, Mason’s mouth stretches into a smile.

“She may not be sending men to their graves, but she ain’t so innocent either. See, she likes to meddle.”

“Meddle?” Mason nods.

“In other people’s business. Sure, she helps folks all the time. But that’s not all she’s doing in that shop of hers.” Joel huffs, getting tired of the way this man seems to be stringing him along.

“Talk plainly, son. It’s getting late.” Mason barks out a laugh, sliding off his stool before laying a hand on Joel’s shoulder, a squinted smile on his face.

“Why don’t you go see what she’s got cooking up in that kitchen of hers in the middle of the night. Because I can tell you right now, it ain’t fucking tea.”

[wordsarelife]

—𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊 𝖒𝖊: official soundtrack!

note: requests are open regarding anything to do with the don't blame universe (you can tell me anything: what you (didn't) like, questions you have, asks for drabbles/ short fics, characters opinions/ moments you'd like to see. feel free!!!)

best of tweets will follow in a few days, stay tuned!!!

debut album: neon nights -> real songs

blood//water (grandson)

daddy issues (the neighbourhood)

you get me so high (the neighbourhood)

fluroscent adolescence (arctic monkeys)

only angel (harry styles)

second album: soft death -> real songs

jackie and wilson (hozier)

about you (the 1975)

i wanna be yours (arctic monkeys)

she (harry styles)

obviously (mcfly)

too sweet (hozier)

end of beginning (joe keery)

made up songs:

neon nights

in the haze of neon nights,/ we were fearless in our flights,/ chasing dreams under starry skies,/ laughing 'til tears filled our eyes.

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

remember those careless hours,/ building castles from shattered flowers,/ promised you a better fate, now i've noticed it's too late

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

in crowded rooms, i search for your face,/ but it's just an empty space,/ echoes of laughter haunt my mind,/ leaving fragments of us behind.

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

neon lights fade into gray,/ silent reminders of yesterday,/ i miss you more than words can show,/ in these neon nights, where did you go?

lying to your face

she’s got those sailor moon eyes,/ never been the type of girl to take home to your mother./ she’s got those meteorite vibes,/ put it in park we can go get high on each other.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

we could hide from the truth,/ escape from the lies and the drama./ lost in our youth,/ your body is my panorama.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

oh, honey, you’re my secret sin,/ with every touch, i lose again.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

cheap wine

we used to own the night,/ every whisper, every sigh,/ the way you looked at me,/ like we were meant to be,

now i see you in the crowd,/ his hand pulling you around,/ it's like a ghost of what we had,/ now he has you instead

i can't help but wonder why,/ we let our love just pass us by,/ now you’re living in a different time,/ but I’m stuck on replay in my mind.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every time i hear your name,/ it’s like a flicker of the flame,/ i see your smile in my dreams,/ haunting me with what it means,

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every memory, every touch, / a love that once was, now it’s just too much,/ to see you move on, while i stay behind,/ clinging to the remnants of our time./ but i’ll raise a glass to what we had,/ and let it go, though it hurts so bad,/ in every tear, in every sigh, i’ll find a way to say goodbye.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

eight packs of cigarettes

in the glow of street lights,/ underneath the city's haze,/ you found me in the darkest nights,/ lost in a nicotine haze.

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

as the night moves past/ i'm the only one last/ tell me that you lied/ no, tell me that you're mine

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

in the haze of smoke and dreams,/ i'll keep searching for some reprieve,/ but until then, I'll keep the smoke,/ eight packs of cigarettes full of hope.

hot-headed

you walk in like a hurricane, eyes sharp like a blade,/ a tempest in your heart, every move is a raid,/ your words cut deep, leaving scars in their wake,/ a rebel without a cause, a risk i had to take.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

you're a wild card, a mystery wrapped in smoke,/ with a devilish grin, and a laugh that provokes,/ we clash like thunder, yet i can't stay away,/ caught in your storm, i'm lost in the fray.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

in the heat of our battles, we find our peace,/ in the eye of the storm, our hearts never cease,/ you're my sweet disaster, my beautiful curse,/ in this wild romance, we’ll always immerse.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

pixie dream girl

she's an average girl, with tangled up hair,/ her laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than i can bear./ she flutters around, like a clumsy old crow,/ leaving chaos behind her, wherever she goes.

she's a mess wrapped in chaos,/ a thorn in my side, no matter the cost./ she'll stumble and fall, then blame it on me,/ i'm tired of her games, can't you see?

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

she's a pixie dream girl, with a crooked old smile,/ her clothes mismatched, it's just not my style./ she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,/ i'm counting the seconds 'til i've had enough.

she's a nuisance, a pest,/ always around, never giving me rest./ she'll chatter and ramble, driving me mad,/ i'm losing my patience, it's really too bad.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song, In nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long, She's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl, Oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

soft death (in your arms)

your touch, like fire, ignites my skin/ we’re caught in the heat, where it all begins/ velvet kisses, burning bright,/ in your arms, i come alive tonight.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

your lips, a drug, i need the taste,/ losing control, there's no time to waste,/ aching love, a sweet embrace,/ lost in rhythm, we find our pace.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the moonlight dances on your face,/ every touch, a sweet embrace,/ in this moment, we are one,/ desire rising with the sun.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the day before tomorrow

don't rush into the unknown,/ tomorrow's not yet shown,/ take a breath, slow it down,/ in this moment, we have found.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

sunset paints the sky in gold,/ memories to cherish, to hold,/ stars whisper secrets of the night,/ in this dusk, let's ignite.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

time's river runs so fast,/ but we'll make this moment last,/ no regrets, no great sorrow,/ just today, no tomorrow.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

the sweetest night

in the quiet of the night,/ underneath the stars so bright,/ close your eyes, my precious one,/ the day is done, the night has come.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

moonlight paints your peaceful face,/ in the cradle of my embrace,/ whispers soft, like melodies,/ carry you to far-off seas.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

stars above will guide your way,/ until the dawn brings a new day,/ sleep in peace, my heart's delight,/ in this sweetest night, so calm, so bright.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

echoes of devotion

my love, like orpheus, i'd come,/ to tread through shadows, my body numb,/ but truth be told, in my hearts embrace,/ i fear i'd falter, lose the race.

for i'd turn back, just like him,/ my gaze would brake, our future grim,/ your fading form, in shadows deep,/ my love, too strong, my soul to keep.

like orpheus, with his lyre's song,/ i'd sing to you, all night long,/ but in that moment, with fate's cruel twist,/ i'd choose your eyes, and lose what's missed.

for i'd turn back just like him,/ the current stronger than we swim,/ i'd face the darkness, lose my way,/ for one more look, i'd gladly pay.

for you're the melody that guides my soul,/ through tempests wild and rivers cold,/ i'll brave the depths, defy the night,/ to hold your hand in morning light.

so here i stand, before your eyes,/ with trembling heart, and no disguise,/ to say, my love, in honesty,/ i'd turn for your like orpheus for eurydice.

A/N: what’s your favorite song/ line? my fav is definitely neon nights, because theo wrote it about leo :(

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy @the-sylver-dragon @ess-perspective @starsval

[allmannerofmalady]

In continuation of my clownery, I started a new DATV playthrough because my beloved Inquisitor looked so jarring I had to remake her and replay like 20 hours of the game. But hey, I made peace with the fact that I am playing DATV to wrap up Inquisition and get an ending scene at this point, I'm not currently foreseeing a second playthrough, so I gotta do it right, y'know?

Spoilers, and me complaining at extreme length, yet again, about my own personal expectations vs reality into the void. Please ignore if DATV negativity is something you prefer to stay away from, protect your peace & what you enjoy.

So I replay HOURS. I'm having fun killing everything as fast as I can - I don't know what it is about playing as a rogue in this game that has tickled my ADHD brain so much, but I'm surprisingly really good at the arrow bonanza and relentless enemy aggro?! This turn based bitch? I digress.

I see my bb Inquisitor Lavellan - she still doesn't look like herself, but I can live with it. She got some ill-advised fillers in Tevinter, she's been through a lot, let her LIVE.

This time around my strategy is pure lore hunting. I'm getting every codex, I'm SQUEEZING this playthrough for whatever lore/easter eggs I can get because idk if I'm going to play again. I got all of Solas' murals early on, got Mythal's essence before Weisshaupt even, I think. BUT WAIT! I have one more treat! The locked room in the Lighthouse! Solas' study! There must be something juicy for all the effort, right? RIGHT? :'D

I know it's been beaten to death, but PERSONALLY, the game still feels incredibly flat to me, jarringly so. If I'm in the Dreadwolf's home, I want to snoop. I want Rook to look through his library, his books, his garbage bin. I even remember the devs saying they wanted being in the Lighthouse to feel an old friends house, or something? I could be wrong, my brain is fried. It's not just a Solas thing - I'm playing this game because I'm desperate for info about the characters I love, but as Rook, we are IN Solas' HQ and I want to rip open the floorboards. I'm trying to RP as much as I can RP in this G.

Anyway, I was so thirsty for something more, something deeper than just these lovely environments I cant do much with, and notes on how Solas hoards raisins - so I collected the wisps and did all the things to unlock the second door in the Lighthouse, forever booboo the fool, thinking I would get some juicy content or something. Trying to stay positive.

No. NO. I got some gear, another empty room Rook has no comments on, and fine, some of Solas' observations on the anchor. It does seem to confirm he kept the Inquisitor’s arm aaaand I love him your honour.

Back to backflipping and shooting arrows in the air, and wanting to grab Emmrich by the beautiful lapels to shake him and ask about the Pentaghast family. Where's my WIFE --

On to the Weisshaupt mission, which was actually ridiculously fun to play - until I was told Weisshaupt is gone haha wow great love that at least the Inquisitor & gang are keeping Southern Thedas safe *subtle foreshadowing* 😃🤞 weeee

I was SO MAD at myself for expecting more like the clown that I am, it was something dumb but just annoyed me all over again and got me all… opinionated 🫠

So, I'm mad again. I cannot begin to articulate my feelings about the incredible amount of storylines and lore we've lost with the decisions made in DATV's writing - they've already been written so eloquently by much greater minds than myself. SO I'm just laughing my way through the pain 🤡

People pleaser that I am, I see other creators I've followed and loved for ages defend the game's choices, tell others they lack media literacy, that your criticisms mean you have rose tinted glasses about the previous games - whatever, your opinion can be valid without tearing others down. So, I genuinely thought something was wrong with me for being so hung up on details. But I can't even engage in fan theories anymore because I'm so jaded at this point. When I see new deep dives into lore-based theories on the game, 99% of the time my mind goes "There is no deeper meaning. They just wanted to wrap it up." Why do you think this thing happened? What do you think that thing is hinting? Nothing. And this is coming from someone who played all the games, owns all the novels, art books, World of Thedas I and II, the bloody Inquisitor lamp from the BioWare store LOL, I was primed and ready to engage in these conversations, but I can't. I have nothing to say that won't end in a cynical answer, and maybe that's because I'm also jaded by working in the game-adjacent VFX industry.

The factions are, yet again, fun but shallow, the logic confusing, and lack much of a backstory for Rook (I think Grey Wardens and Mourn Watchers seem to be the best developed from other reviews and playthroughs, I've only played extensively as a Shadow Dragon, to be fair). Why are you a mage in this one faction? Why are you a rogue in another when it doesn't make sense without a story to support it? It's all this beautiful candy floss that melts away the minute I stop and think about it. And then the cynic in me thinks - these are probably vestiges of the live service part of the game that EA was pushing for. I have to slap myself and stop looking for deeper meaning within corporate decisionsssss there is no swimming pool behind that closed door you needed 7 wisps for 😃

I desperately did not want this to be the case. I was hyped. I preordered the game and organized vacation around it, I'm too old and dealing with way too many crappy personal things to just be a hater for the sake of being a hater. Gaming and Dragon Age are my comfort spaces. But for the LIFE of me, I can't imagine playing DATV again once I finish, let alone more times than I can count like the previous games. Or imagine listening to 4 hours of Youtube videos of party banter to analyze, or even imagine how companions would react to certain things because they feel so stiff. Everything is beautiful, but sterile.

I do love Emmrich - I'm enjoying his storyline and romance, it's like the loveliest most whimsical Vincent Price Pixar romance, but still, something is always missing with the characters even as some do grow on me. I can't imagine anything close to just the party banter ALONE between Solas and Iron Bull. Cole. Fenris and Anders. And to be clear - the whole DA was GRITTY and DARK, DAO supremacy - NOT ME. I love all the games but they have always been whimsical and silly, cringey at times, and did not take themselves seriously. I remember doing the quest where Hawke is running around trying to keep Aveline's date with Donnic from going south, cracking up at how ridiculous it was, and just thinking - gods I LOVE this game.

Speaking of romance, while I'm enjoying how sweet the romance with Emmrich is, when I see others complaining about lack of spice... ahem. I still cannot get over the art style when it comes to characters. This is subjective, and a me problem - I still find it jarring. I don't like the proportions, the bloom, how smooth everyone looks. They still mostly look like cartoons to me, with no body hair and the big heads, and I find everyone's hands so distracting because they look like plasticine. I'm ok with no spice between these characters with their current designs lol let me leave it at that. Ok, except for Felassan and Solas, chef's kiss, no notes.

Solas and story elements directly around him still mostly hold the familiar weight, for the most part. I think credit goes to his amazing VA and the strength of what was likely written for his arc from the very start, before the rewrites and dev hell the game went through. I still have opinions, obviously, but even as a ride or die Solavellan I don't like having the Solavellan angle hijack conversations, so I'm not going to go there. If I'm going to criticize stuff I'll do it as a gamer/DA fan first, egg lover and apologist second.

As I reach the end of Act 2, the game continues to makes me feel like I'm stripped of all agency after a lifetime of playing choice-based games. I talk to companions when it allows me to, then they are relegated to set dressing. My conversation choices all feel the same, or don't match what I'm choosing sometimes. The Lighthouse does not feel like the vibrant hub it was sold as. I am on quests I mostly cannot accept or reject. I cannot interact with my surroundings unless it is gameified (light a candle, move a crystal). The companions abilities are all just - platforming? I know I sound hyperbolic, but it's all I can see currently.

I played Persona 5 from end to end, twice. I played FFXVI. I loved both, had no issues with their linear storytelling, and how the game led you to their end points. Those games are not DA, they did not have the expectations you would have from a BioWare title 10 years in the making. You were not lured in by tales of an incredible character creator, teased about what might be coming from previous games, told this was a sequel to an immersive fantasy RPG series in a beloved fantasy world where the defining studio mechanic was CHOICES MATTER, even when they changed a lot of other things from title to title. In P5/FFXVI you were Clive, you were Joker, you were playing out their story. They were not direct sequels to anything. I'm loathe to be seen as a mindless critic who just wants to shit on things, but a part of me does feel emotionally manipulated for $$$. I still resent how much hype was built for the game by maligning the previous ones (we're fixing Inquisition's mistakes!!).

I'm back to my mission of finishing the game I paid for, enjoy what I can, and get my Solavellan ending scene cause I'm down BAD for literally the only ship I have ever shipped🧍🏻‍♀️I appreciate that it was included. But also - wow does it exacerbate what wasn't included for everyone else's choices.

Something I hate is how everyone immediately jumped on the Baldur's Gate 3 comparisons - BG3 was a life changing game for me, but it's not perfect, and the comparisons are not fair. The one thing I will say is that when I first played BG3, despite its issues and the later criticisms of how Larian reacted to pressure from fans, I remember my earliest impression was - it feels good to be respected as a player. I didn't feel the game was talking down to me, and I got SO much for what I paid for (700 hours baybeee). Jaheira and Minsc were included as companions in homage to the previous games. Yes, they did Viconia dirty, nothing is perfect - but for example, Jaheira would tell you about her husband Khalid from the original games, which came out in 1998 and 2000. There was a lot of world building/easter eggs that not everyone was familiar with or even noticed, because not every player played BG1 and 2, or were familiar with DND 5e - but it was included. Drizzt Do’urden was mentioned ffs, they didn’t overthink about who read those books or not. I’m aware of my biases and I may very well be looking through rose tinted glasses, but I did not feel like the information was presented like I was dumb, or "ah they'll never understand this - SCRAP IT". It just feels like it’s there to honour the past and out of love for the world Larian were playing in.

—> edit to say that I do notice and enjoy the codex entries, callbacks to Tevinter Nights, Masked Empire, the older games. I wish that care and detail was woven into the main story and overall end product and not just background fluff. I know others are satisfied with those additions, wish that were me. I saw a tweet saying that every callback to a previous game or storyline actually pissed them off even more lol, I relate.

I don't feel that respect for the player in DATV, I'm sorry. There is love there, but as hard as I try, it feels like it's there despite of the overall design of the game, not part of it. I keep remembering interviews before the game was released and things that were promised, and I don't see it. At all. No more meaningless fetch quests!! Most companion-focused game! The quests are largely boring or formulaic, but addictive and fun because they are so packed with mindless combat that my brain enjoys. Sometimes it feels like filler - we didn't know what to add here, FIGHT! You unlocked a poignantly named gate in the Crossroads? NO STORY MORE FIGHT! And I'm eating it up, let me not be a hypocrite, I have 80 hours in the game. But personally, it feels designed to pad out this beautiful, sometimes fun, but bitterly shallow game. I can't even go into companion specifics because I have nothing to say, no story I want to analyze. Some have grown on me, but there is no bite or nuance to the writing that compels me and I have no urge to know more. In the previous DA games I would take the long route wherever I went just to get more banter from my companions, and I was instantly interested in them, even if I disliked them. I've seen the comments, I tried, I don't think it's because "I haven't spent enough time" with the DATV companions.

The level design of long narrow corridors, which do remind me of DA2 and FFXVI, has become so predictable to me that I almost always know exactly where I'm going to find loot. So it becomes this admittedly satisfying run of grabbing and fighting to the end point, getting the dopamine hits of collecting pointless stuff, but not really taking in the environments and enjoying the adventure. The level design is not immersive. These do not feel like real cities or real people, and that was intentional. It feels like “levels”, not a World. No one reacts to a single thing you do. Even in the ultra minimalist style of Zelda BOTW, townspeople would react to things you did. Sometimes I walk up to yet another obvious fight arena where the enemies are just chilling, waiting for me while standing still - almost like they're on shift at a haunted house LOL. I can imagine the Venatori stubbing out a cigarette, "C'mon guys, she's here, showtime". The funny part is this has all been seen before in older games, and it never bothered me. My own expectations and overhype might be to blame, but it feels like a big step back when so many games are stepping forward. Me = clown

I keep going back to my first reaction when the disappointment hit me. It feels like being given Persona 5 Strikers or Hyrule Warriors, and told that it's the sequel to the actual RPG. It's fun, it wears the skin of the thing you like that makes you happy, but stops there.

Other things I shake my fist at

Cheap ass The 6th Sense ass Varric death. Yes, yes, Solas villain arc whatever - it was cheap. Way to honour a multi-game beloved character and the player, even if the time had come for him to die in the story.

No, I cannot find a single redeeming reaction from a companion that makes Varric dying make sense in hindsight, except that they are all made of cardboard. I saw comments saying on a second playthrough it's clear Harding is in mourning - sorry, I don't see it.

So. Dorian, the Inquisitor, Charter, Harding, your party, Maevaris, Isabella, list goes on - not a single one of them asks about Varric or mentions his death? Expresses condolences? Nothing? Cheap. Even if Solas was playing with your mind, doesn't it make the overall characters in the game seem even more wooden and unrealistic to the player? It was not the gotcha they seem to think it is.

When the novelty of the cameos and the emotion associated wore off, they were just flat and felt random. Cassandra should have been there, doing Seeker shit (my WIFE). Ok no cameo? Casual dialogue with Emmrich about having a Nevarran in the Inquisition (or as the Divine?!) Lucanis info dumping about Josephine as an Antivan, Zevran as a Crow, nvm, time for a coffee joke. Merrill, eluvian queen, how is she a nonentity? Habibi Fenris should have been in the Shadow Dragons, spitting on the ground after being approached by Solas to join his uprising (lol what uprising amirite). Ok I'm cooking hire me Bioware 🍳 but at least they can remain untainted by the Isabella Treatment (tm)

This leads into the yeeting of the Keep, world states, choices, and hypocrisy around claiming to want to level the playing field for new players. No, all I can see is - it was treated as a buffet that they picked from as it suited. This is the one disappointment I will never let go of. Facsimile's of beloved character cameos were tossed in, you could not really talk to them outside of what limited dialogue you were allowed. Certain world states are now canon apparently - Dorian being recruited in the Inquisition, Morrigan drinking from the Well etc. You want a reboot and you've committed to tossing the choices and burning down Thedas (literally)? Go down with GLORY! Have all the previous main characters/companions alive. Have them all mentioned, even in passing. A portrait on a wall. Say goodbye to them, get your reboot. Honour what you built your business on. But yeah, Emmrich and Harding get to have their picnic in Fereldan fml bye

The argument of: well, the games are old now, it shouldn't matter. Ah - not too old to capitalize on the IP and DA name? Not too old to use some cameos to lure old players? The argument of - it was too many choices to track. Ok cut them down, but don't go scorched earth? 3 choices, mostly irrelevant to those who don't care about Solas (could never be me), and then literally telling you everything else in the South and Weisshaupt is now razed to the ground. But also the illuminati did everything.

FINALLY - the Inquisition should have been in charge of the hunt for Solas, hill I will die on. Fine, have Rook, but Inquisitor should have been the other protagonist. The people... who knew Solas best and betrayed by him... who were in an organization to save the world... Why did we have that cunty dagger stabbed into the map of Tevinter cliffhanger to have the Inquisitor reduced to a pyjama wearing husk BIOWAAAAAAAARE

It's this stuff that builds up, and makes me think - does this game hate its fanbase and source material that much? I very obviously need to go touch some grass 🤠

I keep engaging with Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter - all to my detriment because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me for not loving it, all over again. I also desperately have a fic in me I would love to write, an ode to the story in my head from years of loving the world of Thedas, a love letter to my Lavellan and others - but idk what to do with the post-DATV world atp. I just want to get through Act 2/3, get my Solavellan smooch, ignore the ~secret Illuminati ending, and be grateful I'm not a Mass Effect fan so I don't have to go through this again 🐣

[sanakimohara]

“Pretty When You Cry” B.C.

“Although she is alone…she knows the truth.” + “If you think I’m pretty lay your hands on me…”

Summary: Chan as a yandere. Borderline stalking type of yandere to be exact.

WARNING: MDNI, cursing, smut obviously, mentions of kidnapping, and cnc…among other things.

A/N: this was a request and it caught my interest so I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did while thinking/writing about it.

—————————————————————

A knife could slice right through the thick tension between you and Chan right now.

Not because his eyes were glaring daggers straight into your Bambi like stare or that you were purposely keeping your distance from him by sticking close to the nearest exit. No, the reason was much more complicated.

You. More specifically, you assuming Chan wouldn’t be jealous or possessive of you.

Now, he had you all alone to ‘talk’ but you knew that just meant your night was about to riddled with consequences from him. So, planted yourself near the door -a useless precaution you took to feel safer.

Little did you know, he’d locked it the moment you wandered into his room. You came to him under the impression he just wanted to show you something he’d been working on and was only slightly aware of his true intentions.

Now, you wished more than ever that you’d paid more attention to your small suspicions, but it was too late for you to leave without having to go through him. Chan made sure of that by pocketing his hotel room key card.

“Chan, please..” you started to reason with him, voice trembling slightly as you spoke, and your body involuntarily pressing against the locked door as he stood up abruptly. His face was unnervingly expressionless but his eyes were piercing, swirling with all the intensity of emotions you’d become familiar with.

Jealousy, lust, and possessiveness. Anger was present too -steadily growing the longer he replayed the image of you flirting with some random staff member during their concert.

“Let me ask you something,” Chan was now inches from you, his entire body dwarfing yours in comparison, and his voice shallow with simmering rage. He really was terrifying when upset and with envy added into the mix he was downright evil sometimes.

Shamefully, it turned you on more than anything else. Being afraid of him, what he might do you, and how he’d take his anger out on you. It was so wrong for you to be wet already, merely in Chan’s presence, and forced to stay there until he decided to let you go.

Which was never, in his opinion.

“Do you like pissing me off?,” he nearly growls the question and your tummy does several slips hearing the rasp carry through to his accent. “N-no, I don’t Chan-“ you answer him carefully, face heating up as your fear amps up to new heights when he grabs your jaw with one hand and places the other above your head to lean forward on. “Yes, you fucking do. Why else would you go around whoring yourself out to other men then?” Chan taunts you with a faux smile, raising his brows slightly to add to his condescending tone, and you huff softly in return.

“Channie, I promise we were just-“ you’re cut off again as his hand on your face falls to your throat, gripping it tight until you have to hiss in a breath, and cling to his wrist with both of your small hands. Chan holds you there, counting the seconds until he sees tears prick your lidded eyes, and only then does he loosen his hold on you.

“I don’t care what you were doing, little one. This is the last time you’ll ever try me, understood?” You could barely hear him over your heart drumming your ears from being choked so ruthlessly seconds ago, and when you don’t answer him immediately Chan takes that as a sign of defiance on your end.

His tongue poked the inside of his cheek, dark eyes filling with a new emotion as he watched you struggle to breathe with his hand still putting pressure on your throat. You already looked so broken in for him, probably bound to drop to your knees if he let you go, and your pathetic attempts to wriggle out of his grasp never failed to amuse him.

Chan would never let you go, you knew that, but still tried with all your might to fight him off -even if you’d been craving his affection the whole time.

It was part of your dynamic. Chan could drag you through hell and back, you’d insist on running away, but ultimately fail and let him do whatever he wanted to you.

“I think you need a little reminder of who you belong to,” Chan hums lowly, passing his thumb over the fullness of your bottom lip before slowly pushing it into your warm mouth. “Suck,” he commands, pressing down on your tongue slightly as you start to do exactly that. Quiet whimpers vibrate through your throat as you lick and suck on his thumb, doe eyes sparkling with need as he watched you obey his every word.

You could feel his hardened cock through his jeans, the length of it pressed right against your pelvis and lower stomach, and you were tempted to reach down and palm him just for the hell of it. Unfortunately, he’d quickly pull your hand away, reminding you that “you’re not allowed to touch daddy until I say you can…”

You hated that rule but knew the consequences for breaking it would only leave you edged to the brink of delirium and his cum plowed deep into your sore womb.

Chan was certainly not the man to tease -unless you were prepared to endure the corresponding punishment.

So, you took pleasure in sucking on his fingers, imagining it was cock instead, and continuously drooling on his digits until he removed them. You coughed softly as he did, chest heaving, and eyes still watering as they refocused on his face.

Chan couldn’t help but chuckle at your disoriented expression, always so neat and sweet in public, but behind closed doors and in his view you just looked like a love sick pup waiting to be used.

You half expected him to push you down to your knees, already accepting your fate of him using your throat as his personal cock sleeve, but Chan had other ideas.

He closed the distance between you two, ducking his head to capture your spit slick lips with his plump ones. You moaned as he pushed his tongue past yours, taking his time to explore your mouth, and swallowing the short and desperate noises you let out in between each kiss.

Your hold on his veiny wrist and arm traced up to his neck, gently massaging the muscle there before your fingers tangled through the hair at the back of his head. Chan grunted into your mouth when lightly pulled on his dark hair, “I should’ve fucked you in front of him,” he mumbles harshly against your lips, hands gripping your hips to turn you around in one quick motion.

A small yelp flies from your chest as your frontside meets the cold surface, Chan’s body weighing down on yours as his hands slid from your waist to the closure of your black high waisted shorts. He started to undo the tedious buttons and zipper while tracing his lips down the right side your neck. You whined as he littered mark after mark on your unblemished skin, his hands now hooked on the sides of your shorts to pull them off, and his heavy breaths causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.

“You would’ve liked that, yeah? Daddy fucking you in front of everyone so they’ll never forget who you belong to?” His chest rumbled against your back as he spoke, tone bordering on desperation as you whined and reached a hand up to caress one side of his face. “Yes,” you moan loudly, finally shedding your usual timid nature to fully enjoy the moment, and Chan smirked against skin hearing your delicate voice reach a new octave.

“You’re such a slut, and you’re all mine too,” he muses, slipping one hand right between your shaking thighs, and delving past the fabric of your underwear to cup your mound. “Ahm…stop! No..!” You half moan and half whimper as he takes in the soaking expanse of your cunt.

It was embarrassing. You were definitely more than eager to have him touch you and now he knew it.

Chan laughed dryly at your pathetic attempt to refuse him, fingers sliding up and down your folds to collect as much of your cum as possible before swirling those same fingers around your clit. “You want me to stop? That’s not what your body wants, now is it, baby?” He didn’t need you to answer, your broken cries were enough for him, and the dazed look in your eyes only intensified as he played with your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“…s-stop p-please….ill be good…just-just let me go…” you try again to win your freedom, voice cracking as a few tears began to trickle down your flushed cheeks. His attention to your clit had migrated to your entrance, prodding it open with two thick fingers before he shoved them into you as deep as possible. “Fuck ..,” Chan inhaled sharply from how tight your cunt was, already clenching around his fingers like you’d break if he put anymore in.

He might’ve came right then and there if he hadn’t already built his stamina up but his cock still twitched just from the constant pulsing of your wet core.

“Daddy, s’ too much....” you weakly called for his attention, panting as he curled, pumped, and twirled his fingers inside you. He reached every spot that made you see stars and even had you circling your hips to the pace of his hand. “I don’t care,” Chan responded gruffly, back to marking your neck and shoulder as he sped the pace of his fingers up.

You choked on a string of moans, face contrasting into a mindless picture of pleasure as he abused your cunt. “Nooo.. ah!” You tried your best to keep protesting, yet he only added to your torture by slowly circling his thumb on your clit . Now, you were at a loss for words, head emptying of any thoughts besides cumming on his hand.

You were incredibly close to the edge and Chan noticed from just one look at your beautifully lost and delirious stare. Your head lulled back onto his shoulder, eyes rolling slightly as he brought you to your climax with precise pumps into your dripping cunt. “Cumming…” you whimper into the crook of his neck, letting the smell of his cologne fill your head as the knot in your tummy snapped. He groaned as you gushed on his hand, making a mess in your lacey underwear as well, and watched you rock your hips to ride your high out.

Chan smiled at the sight, in love with how messy and careless you could be when he touched you. “You’re gonna cum like this on my cock next, princess…” he announced it like a command and all you could muster was a shaky exhale followed with a lazy smile as you felt him drag his fingers out of your sticky entrance.

“You’ll never forget what it means to be owned by me again, baby girl..”

—————————————————————

Should I make a PT2? I kind of already did hehehe….we will see how PT1 goes first, yeah? 🖤

BONUS CONTENT +

(Sorry not sorry for this…🖤)

[dreamsy990]

so, re:chain of memories, huh?

warning! its been a little while since i played through recom, so the game isnt as fresh in my mind as some others. sorry for any innacuracies!

spoiler alert, this is my second favorite kingdom hearts game. at least of the ones i've played so far. i get that this isn't like. a POPULAR opinion but fuck you i have almost nothing but positives to say about it.

let's start with the easy stuff first. recom introduced a new card-based combat system. i cant compare it to the gba version, since i didn't play that, but i can say that for what its worth i DID enjoy the combat. recom is by far the hardest game so far (at least for me) and almost every boss took multiple days for me to beat, even with my hp maxed out. it took me a while to get the combat system, but id honestly love to replay the game now that i have a better understanding of how it works. the card system requires a lot of quick thinking and i get that it isnt everyones taste but its CERTAINLY mine. every fight is difficult and feels genuinely rewarding when you win. the movement, like kh1, can use a lot of work, but i wouldnt call it terrible. just kinda sluggish. i think my favorite boss fight was larxene. shes a pain in the ass but i love her.

i think riku's side dropping the deck building mechanic isnt terrible, but i wish i could reorder his deck at the very least. and the lack of healing cards is. not fun. basically any damage you take is permanent unless you HAPPEN to get mickey and its simply Not a fun time. im not very good at games okay.

i have a lot less to say about the worlds than the combat. they're definitely the worst aspect of the game, though. the idea of making worlds with cards is fine! it just leads to kind of repetitive world design. the stories are forgettable, so forgettable that i literally forgot them. and i could make a point about how thats the idea its a game all about forgetting things!! but honestly that just making excuses for it. the worlds couldve kept the idea of forgetting things without literally making them forgettable. i say this about every world, except for one. because DESTINY ISLANDS

destiny islands is just. so fucking good in recom. its the climax of both sora and rikus stories and i think theyre both amazing. id have to say i prefer rikus, soley because of the visual storytelling you get from his side of it, and thats not to say soras is bad at all. but something about zexion telling riku that its his fault his home was destroyed, as riku sees a version of himself turning into a literal monster? thats just good okay. its really good.

i ADORE the characters in this game too. everything we get from them is sooo good. it's the introduction to the organization and all of them (except lexaeus who did literally nothing) are a treat. axels my favorite ofc, but larxene is such a fun villain, you love to hate her. shes really the star of the org cast in this game. sure, axels may have said its his show now, but larxene stole the spotlight.

its namines introduction, too, and i love her. on one hand, shes just really kind. she wants a friend, she wants someone to talk to, she wants to meet sora. on the other, shes just a little bit fucked up actually. sure, shes honest with sora, but shes the tiniest little bit guilt trippy and i LOVE THAT. her response to sora saying he wants to get back his own memories and forget her is "oh okay. you want to remember your REAL friends, huh? theyre the ones who REALLY matter to you? yeah anyone would want that. no friends for namine i guess." like shes just a bit salty and we love that for her. i want slightly guilt tripping and salty namine back nomura.

but ofc one of my favorite new characters in this game HAS to be repliku. god i ADORE repliku. his hatred for riku is sooo fun and the way he fights with sora is great too. like in soras side i thought he was a neat villain but rikus side? hes amazing omfg. one of the only villains i liked in rikus story (sorry lexaeus, you werent good until days)

over all, this game certainly isnt everyones cup of tea, but its DEFINITELY mine. it's the game im most excited to replay at some point, mostly because of the amazing boss fights. 9/10. its got issues, but the story and characters are so good that i genuinely could not care less about like. most of them.

[eggroll-sama]

Touchstarved Demo Review

Played the demo of Touchstarved and I can’t get it out of my head. Refreshing tumblr every three seconds to read people’s stances on the game so I’m going to do it myself. Here’s are my current stances on the characters.

KURAS

Rather secluded and to himself, initial reactions wise I was disappointed in not getting to know more about him in the demo. but at the same time, the demo set the stage for what exactly I could expect from his route. Slow-burn. Much like what I expect Mhin’s route to be like, but moreso focused on getting to know his past. He doesn’t voice his internal struggles because he has a firm barrier he sets between himself and other, probably hates getting too close to human’s because he is immortal and doesn’t like the idea of getting attached to things that are temporary.

Also, after listening to the Q and A on YouTube and how supposedly Kuras will do some messed up shit in his route, I’m really excited to see what’s up with this tight-lipped doctor. He is definitely not the nice, charitable doctor that he is known for in Lowtown.

On a positive note, his design is probably my favorite in the game! Very unique, gorgeous, and ethereal, so pretty that I know if he existed in real life he’d be out of my league and would be popular just because of how jaw-droppingly gorgeous he is. Mr Steal your girl, but he’s respectful so he won’t be a home wrecker.

(More reviews under the cut)

LEANDER

A character that I thought looked so suspicious and weirded out, but fell in love with when playing the game. I thought he looked like a psychopath!

Because I’m a stupid, easily manipulated dumbass, I initially didn’t really capture his red flags when playing the demo. Every time he let me touch him, my heart beat wouldn’t stop! And his blush is so adorable. He seemed like the trustworthy nice-guy that just wanted to help a poor soul out. And uh, chest. The chest really had an effect on me and his entire outfit didn’t help. Black turtle necks awaken something in me, yknow? And the belts? Hoe energy.

After replaying the demo a few times, it just stands out to me how much of a player he is. Before realizing MC was at the bar because of Kuras, he was in flirting mode and probably considering MC to be part of his escapades. The disappointment in his tone and face when he found out MC was there for business 😂😂.

We get the most information of Leander from the special conversation with the characters so I am quite pumped to know what exactly this guy is about, cuz each person has varying, colorful opinions on him. I find it so funny that Vere, the most flirtatious in the game, is weirded out by shameless Leander is. Maybe that is Leander’s flaw? The leader of the Bloodhounds, envied by many and respected by most, is the most submissive and horny bitch on the planet. Ok ok, I’m done. But I could go on and on about this man.

(Side note, Mhin and Leander definitely had a drunken one night stand. And Mhin absolutely regretted it)

Even after reading all the theories on how sus he is, his interactions were probably my favorite in the entire game. I’m just so intrigued by him.

VERE

Not the biggest fan of Vere. I’m not into animal ears and tails.

Im going to be honest in real life I would be flustered by Vere’s advances and probably feel a sort of fascination towards him echen to attraction, but he’s not really the type that I want to romance in games. Also the fact of the matter is is that sexual innuendoes just not my thing, especially when it comes to first impressions. And my first impression was getting my key stolen so nice.

Irl Vere can be acquaintances at most. I would be there just to hear the juiciest details about some drama. He would always have some snarky comment that would make me laugh. I love some dark humor. But at the same time, he’s dangerous af. I wouldn’t want to get too close to him. He has major issues and idk when he would snap, that’s the scary part! If I tease him playfully and he was not in the mood, off goes my head.

I like his relationship with Ais, adds more juiciness to the story. Love me some love triangles. Reminds me of Rime and Felix relationship in Last Legacy.

I would like the challenge of winning him over though. Because his route would probably be so unpredictable and challenging, I feel more motivated to play and invest in his story

AIS

I love his character design! Probably my second favorite in the game. Ais exudes confidence, competence, and strength. Major main character vibes from Ais. I’m guessing that’s why Leander hates him. HOW DARE YOU BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION, LITERALLY THE CENTER OF ALL THE PROMO ART YOU FUCKIN BASTAR-

I personally do not feel that much of a love connection towards Ais as much as Leander. More like, I chill with you. I could grab a drink with you and talk about life. Yes. Maybe when I play his route they’ll prove me wrong. Im still curious about him so can’t wait to play his route. But I don’t see much of a red flag in him as the others, he just seems like a chill guy that went through hell. I’m guessing he’ll show his dark sides in his route.

It’s concerning that he’s attracted to Vere cuz Vere is…Vere. Problematic. Chaotic. An Asshole. Hmmm, is Ais technically an enabler? Yes, but Ais also starts bar fights. They’re both bad. It’s also interesting how generally people would say ethically good qualities on why they are attracted to someone but no, Ais is just like “yeah he’s an asshole, you can trust him just don’t listen to anything he says.” It’s hilarious. That also contrasts with Leander’s bio how he sees Vere as a damsel in distress cuz he’s delusional and has white knight syndrome, while Ais sees people who they are because he’s the black sheep “that have the clearest view of the world.” That’s probably why Vere loves him. Ais is the only person that sees his crappiness and still likes him. What a Chad :,)

MHIN

They reminds me of a friend I have. Quiet, standoffish, takes time to open up, a MASSIVE sweet tooth. I really want to pet their heads but I know they’re going to smack it away if I even try to touch. 😭😭

Mhin, the angsty teen. Considering Mhin’s bad temperament and similar curse thing with MC, I’m going to guess it’ll have major Beauty and the Beast vibes. Tempermental Mhin and MC who would turn them into a better person and teach them how to love themselves, with or without the curse.

The friendship with Mhin and Kuras make a lot of sense. Mhin feels at peace with Kuras cuz he’s a good listener and the only introvert in the friend group. Mhin needs someone that won’t try to annoy them like Leander or Vere. But I remember listening to the stream with the developers, and they were saying how terrible Kuras is and can’t wait for people to find out about it. Will Mhin feel betrayed when they find out the truth about Kuras? Do they already know? So many questions.

[zieatsramen]

Arcane S2 spoilers

So funny how I'm cycling between depression and happiness w act 3 because on one hand I'm replaying the saddest deaths like Isha, Vander forgetting and Jinx (I believe Isha and Jinx are alive but Vander forgetting HITS LIKE A ROCK) and on the other I'm replaying caitvi scene 😭

I can't put into words how good arcane makes you feel emotions, IT'S ART.

I liked the ending, with my headcanons ofc but that's the thing, they imply shit and leave it open.

In my head, jinx and Isha survived since no bodies were shown (though Isha has more chance not to but I choose happiness) and like Jinx survived FOR SURE because it's so implied !!!

I didn't get it at first but after letting the ending marinate in my mind and hearing others opinions it's clear, she lives.

Also the caitvi sex scene is so cute 😭 I'm not one to enjoy sex scenes but this scene gets a pass because it was very well portrayed 🦅🦅🦅

Oh and Vi looking sad at the ending could be bc of the loss of Vander/Warwick + Ekko burning a paper could be for Heimerdinger. Jinx lives !!

ALSO NOT ENOUGH IS SAID ABT HOW COOL MY BOY EKKO IS. HIS SCENES ARE ALWAYS SO COOL !!! The fighting w Viktor's army and using the time machine to get second chances and when almost losing risking by going over the limit and breaking Viktor's mask so he can truly see what Jayce wants him to see, UGHHH !!!!

Those who didn't like the ending that's okay but c'mon now, the death threats aren't necessary 😭😭😭