#so lets see my second opinion in this replay

[andrewknightley]

just 3 dwarves hanging out. nature is healing

[gloomygumi]

quirks - satoru gojo x gn!reader

summary: part two︱you like to think you’re aware of all of satoru’s quirks, but shoko thinks you may have missed a few.

contents: fluff, newly realised feelings, highschool!gojo, he's honestly not even actually there for a lot of it, shoko and geto are tho, honestly a little bit of whipped gojo, probably ooc but definitely self indulgent

word count: 1.2k

a/n: how are we coping since 236 guys ????? wrote this feeling like i’d been widowed so i guess this counts as my coping mechanism 😭 hope you enjoy anyway, constructive criticism and any ideas or opinions you have are always welcome !!

in your past year of knowing satoru gojo, you’d made a note of his multiple quirks.

you noticed how when the group of second years went out to eat together at the weekends, he would whine about how good everyone else’s food looks until everyone at the table took pity (or annoyance, in suguru’s case) and spooned some of their meal onto his plate.

you noticed how when he was in class, listening to yaga drone on about the different types of curses, he would never let all of the legs of his chair rest on the ground. he was constantly swinging back and forth. it’s a miracle that he’s never fallen back, you think.

you even noticed how he somehow kept a momento from every single hangout and mission, each of them stored in a little wooden box he kept on his bedside table back in the dorms. in the past, you’d seen him slide seemingly worthless ticket stubs and receipts into his pockets, and when the curiosity finally got the better of you and you asked what he did with them, you only received a cheeky grin and a wink from your friend.

so, when shoko finally told you some of her own observations of his behaviours and habits during your lunch break one day, it’s safe to say it shocked you.

“i think it’s pretty obvious that he likes you.” she speaks casually, as if her words hadn’t caused you to choke on your own food. she passes you her bottle of water and pats your back. “you couldn’t tell?”

after gulping down half of her water, and spluttering a few times, you finally found your voice, letting out a strangled “he’s my friend - he does not like me like that!”

the look shoko gives you is one of ridicule, but before she can say anything else, you quickly continue.

“how’d you even come to that conclusion anyway, you’re not usually much of a gossip. that’s suguru’s job." you attempt to joke, but you feel the strained smile drop from your face as the boy you mentioned approaches the table and plops down beside your friend.

speak of the devil...

you see shoko's eyes light up, but before you can even attempt to cut her off again, she turns to suguru. "geto! back me up here, isn't it so obvious that gojo likes (y/n)?"

"mhm." he hums, barely even acknowledging the fact that his confirmation has sent you spiraling for the second time. "he's not exactly subtle about it."

"you guys are being ridiculous."

now it's suguru's turn to look at you like you've suddenly grown two heads. "you really didn't know?"

shoko lets out a laugh at his genuine confusion, and reaches into her bag to pull out a cigarette. you quickly hand her a lighter you keep on hand just for moments like this and she quietly thanks you before continuing. "have you never noticed how he's always touching you in some way?"

"that's just how he is!" you defend. "he's always hanging off of suguru too!"

the pair in front of you share a look, before geto continues. "what about how he never lets you walk closest to the road?"

you stop for a second, trying to pinpoint an occasion - just one - where he had only to come up empty handed. in fact, the more you think about it, the more sense it makes. you replay your moments walking back to the dorms after class with satoru, with his arm always casually wrapped around your shoulder. you remember how he always looked comfortable and at peace. you even remember how he would gently bump you closer into the sidewalk if you were walking with someone else, sticking his tongue out at you and ruffling your hair if you voiced a complaint at his behaviour.

your mouth dries up as you try to come up with another excuse to brush off your friends' observations, but you start to question yourself.

maybe they're right...?

you shake you head, as if trying to clear your head of these thought. "he does that for everyone, you guys are just reading too much into it."

between drags of her cigarette, shoko chuckles. "he's never done it for me." geto leans forward from his seat across from you and gently flicks in between your eyebrows. your hand immediately clamps down on the spot, and you groan at him. "what was that for!?"

he ignores your dramatics. "why are you so sure that we're lying?"

his genuine question makes you stop to think. it wasn't that you didn't like gojo, in fact, you hadn't dedicated much time to thinking about him in that way at all. your friends being so insistent on the fact that he liked you made you slowly start to realise that maybe you did share some affections for the ill mannered boy.

you continue to mull over as many interactions and memories that you have shared with satoru, slowly connecting the dots in your head. he always was more gentle with you, never polite but always kind. he regularly brought you souvenirs back from missions that you weren't assigned to and he always insisted on sitting next to you on the train home, offering you the window seat every single time.

almost as if they can hear your inner monologue being to spiral, shoko pipes up once more. "he gave you a different ring tone so he'd know every time you call."

you feel your heart stop for a second, unsure as to why this in particular made you finally believe their words, but before you even have the opportunity to dismiss them again (now in an attempt to convince yourself more than them) you feel the seat beside you sink with additional weight and a familiar arm flung around your shoulder. you barely even register the smug smile shoko is flashing you from across the table as you focus on attempting to cool your face.

"i can't believe you guys started eating without me!" satoru whines, leaning even more heavily into your side. he makes quick work of plucking a large chunk of meat out of your bento, sending you a sly grin as you look up at him in dismay. "what were you guys talkin' about?"

suguru meets your eyes, raising his eyebrows as he meets your glare, urging him to shut his mouth. "oh nothing." he hums, before completely changing the subject.

the conversation from moments prior is still fresh in your mind, and you're now very aware of the soft glances gojo keeps sending your way. you suddenly feel a lot more awkward in his presence, and you barely notice how you're fidgeting with your hands under the table and not participating in the conversation anymore.

that is until you feel warm hands grip your own, effectively halting their movement. "you okay?" you can barely hear satoru over the blood pumping in your ears, and you're unaware of the laughs shoko and geto are trying desperately to hold back whilst watching the scene as you try to speak.

you start to wish your friends had kept their observations to themselves.

[ahhnini]

Hiii, I really hope You’re doing Well baby. I need your opinion about Rafe being jealous when he realizes pope has a crush on his sweet girl so he makes sure he knows she’s his (I always imagine this scene after JJ and pope sunk toppers boat and the guys beat them up at the movies, top for the boat and Rafe cause pope’s ogling his girl)🫣 and I probably need this idea in my head all the time everything replaying in my mind 🥵

ahh tysm for the request!! i hope you’re doing well too!!

warnings - suggestive, not proofread

okay okay so ofc rafe would be jealous, that’s like a given. hes very impulsive and an overthinker. so…

he’d take the druthers and you two would sail around the cut, passing mr. hayward’s store multiple times, making sure pope sees the both of you, his arms wrapped around your waist.

but that wasn’t enough.

rafe’s eyes sharpened as pope handed you your groceries, hands lingering atop yours a second too long. he then had the audacity to ask if you needed help putting the groceries away, as if he wasn’t right there.

politely shaking your head no and bidding him goodbye, you turn your body towards rafe, who looks like he was about to punch the wall next to him. you roll your eyes, thinking that he’s just getting jealous for no reason again.

but he wasn’t.

he bit the inside of his cheek as he watched you and pope by the concessions stand, exchanging some words with one another. it was the monthly movie night on the island resort, and mr. hayward had been in charge of catering. he said something to make you giggle, and his eyebrows furrowed. if pope hadn’t pissed him off then, he’d definitely now.

“where are you taking me, baby?” you drunkly chuckled as rafe guided you up a hill, patting the ground for you to sit down. you’ve obviously had one too many drinks tonight, and he wanted you to sober up before taking you back home. kind of. while you thought you were gonna have an intimate moment with rafe, turns out that said hill was also the pogues’ favorite hangout spot. you began kissing rafe all over his face, giggling at the lipstick stains. he let you straddle him on the curve of the hill, his hands running up and down your body, underneath your shirt

he looked over at the bonfire the pogues were having, and made direct eye contact with pope, smirking. he looked away, staring back at whatever john b, who’d been across from him.

safe to say he never bothered the two of you again.

[sc0tters]

His Home | Adam Fantilli

summary: it’s Adam’s birthday and his debut in the NHL, little does he know you’re there watching

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, p in v, oral (fem receiving), swearing.

word count: 3.07k

authors note: welcome back to what I like to call, kei told me not to behave (soft edition?). I’m kidding (sorta) this is a really different to what I usually write because it had a bit of angst in it? The first bit of regular italics are from the Adam birthday video that the bluejackets did and the second is a regular flashback!

It was the clip Adam loved rewatching the most.

You were sat in your dorm in his hoodie and his hat (a detail that only he would pick up on) as you smiled “hey baby!” You smiled as you looked at your phone “now I’ve tried redoing this like eight times now.” You confessed letting out a little laugh.

The picture of Adam on draft night that you had taken after you two snuck out to Dairy Queen stared back at you “I keep on crying and you really don’t need to see me get all snotty again.” You shook your head as the pile of tissues on your bed was beginning to build.

Adam couldn’t help but stare at you in awe as you nervously thought about what it was that you wanted to say “point is I’m so proud of you for getting this far.” You two started dating in October of freshman year and you swore you’d kill him before he broke up with you with before trying long distance “I miss you and I love you.” You confessed wiping your cheek as another tear fell.

As you sucked at your cheek smiling unaware that Adam was doing the same thing “you’re gonna smash it tonight, so happy birthday and play your little heart out there.”

You brought your fingers up to your lips “I’m so proud of you my star.” The video ended as your kissed fingers pressed against the camera ending the video like you did all of your FaceTime calls that you had with him.

Honestly Adam was surprised that he wasn’t sick of that video anymore with the amount of times that he had replayed it “sorry she can’t be here tonight.” Kent knew how upset Adam was that you were unable to make it to his first game.

What was the actual twist of the knife was that you hadn’t responded to anything on all platforms and went as far as to turn your locations off on everything “I just don’t remember making her mad.” Adam sighed as he frowned looking at his lock screen that was a picture of you two in front of the yost one evening.

You were in your Fantilli jersey and he had his arms wrapped around you as he kissed your head “she’s probably just stressed with that class you said she was taking.” Kent shrugged trying to keep a straight face.

The whole team had come together to plan this. The only thing that could possibly be making you stressed right now was the fact that you were trying to not get caught in Columbus.

Yes, the boys convinced you to change around some things as they felt like you being there was the birthday and debut gift that money truly couldn’t buy “I guess you’re right.”

Thankfully for you, Adam never noticed that you were there as you sat far away from his parents and family.

The game ended in a win and Adam was even able to get some points on the board so it was safe to say that you were all excited about more than just the win.

Wanting to give him some time with his family you stayed hidden for a bit mainly getting to know more of his teammates “you know he’s clueless about this right?” Kent smiled as he saw the excited look on your face.

Adam knew it probably sounded terrible but as he listened to his dad’s opinions about the game he couldn’t help it as his eyes wondered off to find you.

His brain hoped that by some divine act you were actually there.

And that was when he saw you.

Well not you, actually the top of your head “shut up!” Adam let out a gasp causing you to turn around in his direction.

Both of you had grins on your faces and tears forming in your eyes “w-what are you doing here?” He asked quickly pushing past people to making sure that he wasn’t dreaming.

As your flowery perfume pushed into his nostrils he knew that you were really there “couldn’t not be here tonight.” You mumbled holding your arms out as he pulled you into a hug.

Usually you would have groaned at how sweaty he was but today you just loved feeling him against you “happy birthday my love.” You smiled looking up at him before you placed a kiss on the hockey players lips “how long are you here for?” The hockey player wanted you there for as long as possible “fly out on Sunday my love.” So that basically meant that you had three whole days with him as well as another game to watch.

At this point the cameras had turned away wanting to give you and Adam the moment in private or at least as private as it could be for being stood out in the open “go get showered and then we can all catch up.” Julia proposed looking at her son as she wrapped her arm around you.

You had gotten to know his parents over the summer and nothing made them happier than seeing the smile on their sons face whenever he looked at you.

So you knew that you were going to sound bad when you thought about this because as fun as it was getting to catch up with Adam’s family and watch him smile as he interacted with his parents.

What you truly wanted was to be with him on the couch talking like you used to.

The Michigan air was cold around Ann Arbor but that wasn’t something you and Adam were complaining about.

No instead you two were comfortably on the couch in your dorm as your roommate was in a class “what are you thinking about?” Adam smiled as he realised that you were staring at him.

His thumb massaged your hip as his baggy basketball shorts left the area of your skin exposed “I’m gonna miss these moments with you.” You confessed as you two loved being on top of each other on the tiny two seater couch.

Before a frown could form on your lips as the thought of the draft came along Adam brought his face closer to yours “the draft is a long way away baby.” The hockey player cooed “so for now let’s enjoy this.” He added pressing his lips against yours.

So as the Uber let you two out at the door of Adam’s apartment building you couldn’t help but smile as you grew excited “are you guys sure you don’t want to come up for a bit?” Adam looked at his family members in the car as he wrapped his hand around you “you two should go have fun.” Julia clearly didn’t mean it in the way that flashed through your mind but it still made you smile as you send her a nod.

You two watched the car drive off before you turned to make your way into the building “can’t believe that you’re truly here.” Adam mumbled pressing a kiss onto your head as he took in the familiar scent of your shampoo.

His hand slid lower now resting on your ass that he gave a squeeze “Adam!”

You squealed jumping as you walked into the elevator.

That resulted in a laugh from the boy who quickly joined you before the doors shut “you can’t blame me for missing you.” His words were true as he locked his hands on either side of you “thought about you all day.” Adam confessed hovering his lips over yours.

A smile formed on your face “I did too,” as you leaned up to kiss him the doors opened causing an awkward meeting for you two with an elderly couple “I’m gonna need to you walk in front of me.” The hockey player‘s whisper sent shivers down your spine as you looked down to see that he was hard.

Trying to keep the giggle from leaving your lips you nodded adjusting yourself so that you could walk in front of Adam who now had one hand on your waist and the other carrying your bag “have a good night.” You sent the couple a smile as the boy forced you out of there as quickly as he could.

You looked to Adam with a teasing look on your face “you got a little problem?” You joked seeing that nobody was in the hallway.

Adam scoffed as he shook his head “not only is this your fault but it also isn’t little.” The boy corrected you as he stopped in front of his door “let me get your keys.” You smirked dropping your hand into his pocket.

If he could tell what you were trying to do then Adam was being a good sport for putting up with it “those aren’t my keys.” He warned as you palmed his dick between the fabric of his pocket and his boxers “I know.” You pressed a kiss against his ear before you pulled his keys out quickly unlocking the door to his apartment.

There was a spilt second before Adam practically pushed you both into the apartment “someone’s needy.” You teased watching as he dropped your bag pressing the door shut with his hand before he made a beeline for you “I know.” Adam repeated your words as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

Giving you a small moment to bring your hands to his neck before he kissed you. You two finally had that moment you had longed for where he could kiss you properly.

His tongue fought with yours as there was no longer the need to behave as someone was watching “fuck,” you moaned feeling his hands cup your ass “jump baby.” Adam didn’t need to tell you for a second time as your legs locked around his waist.

The walk to his room was short, not that either of you truly would have cared because you two were just enjoying the feeling of each others lips “god I’ve missed this.” The hockey player cooed dropping your body onto his bed.

You smiled up at him as he joined you on his bed still wanting to soak in the taste of your lips.

Sure it was etched into his brain but that didn’t mean that Adam wasn’t feeling this sense of being high each time he got to feel your lips against his skin “Adam,” you whined as his hands ran over your waist.

His smile was clear as he pecked your lips one final time “I wanna taste you baby.” Adam shook his head as your hand brushed over his cock.

You tried to protest “it’s your birthday,” you pointed out as you simply wanted to make him feel good “and all I want to do is taste that pretty cunt of yours.” Adam shot back as he shifted down his bed.

Adam hooked his fingers in the waist band of your pants “you look so fucking good today.” The hockey player gushed as he was met with the sight of your lace panties “you knew you were gonna get fucked tonight didn’t you?” The Canadian smirked as he let your panties slide down your legs.

Your head bobbed as you nodded “please A,” you pleaded grabbing at his sheets as Adams breath fanned your cunt.

To say that you were soaked was an understatement as even in his dimly lit room Adam could still see the way that your pussy glistened “gonna make you feel so fucking good tonight.” The hockey players voice was shaky before his tongue ran up your slit settling on your clit.

It was like he was starving at the way he locked his hands around your thighs “shit Adam!” You cried bringing your hand down to his hair gripping onto his locks.

His eyes caught yours as you drove your hips into his face desperate to get off in that very moment.

His tongue swirled around your sensitive nub as he brought his fingers to your soaked cunt “god I’ve missed this,” the vibrations of his laugh sent shivers up your spine as your body shook.

Sure phone sex was a thing but this was a whole new level.

After weeks of not being able to get off through phone sex as your fingers and the sound of Adam’s voice could only do so much.

You were now getting exactly what you wanted “I’m gonna come,” you groaned scrunching your face as your body shook.

Adam nodded as you clenched around his fingers “let go baby.” He smiled lapping up your release as he was reminded how much he missed this.

But just like usual Adam didn’t slow down his movements as you rode his face through your orgasm “n-no A,” you shook your head trying to bring your body up and off of the bed.

His smirk was clear as he continued sucking you clit “baby,” you whined literally pulling his head up as you kissed his lips.

Tasting your release on his tongue made you squirm “you taste so sweet.” Adam groaned as your cunt rubbed against his clothed dick “baby I’m gonna come and I gotta do it in you.” He grunted as you nodded.

It took him seconds to undo his pants as you pulled his jersey over your head leaving you in your bra “god you’re gorgeous.” The hockey player smiled as he grabbed the condom from his wallet.

After you two were caught up after a big game with no condom Adam now had one that lived in his wallet for whenever you two would need it.

Before Adam could rip the wrapper open you had your hands capturing it so that you could wrap it around his cock “don’t tease me baby.” The hockey player warned bringing his hand to your head as you kitten licked the tip of his cock.

His precum oozed out of his swollen tip as you looked up at him with a smile “giving you everything you want tonight.” You mumbled pushing the condom over his cock as you kissed his lips swallowing his moan in the process.

Slowly Adam’s knees sink into the mattress as he comes down to your level “I just want you tonight.” His confession made your heart burst with love and pride “you have me Adam.” You nodded watching as he pressed his hands against your shoulders softly pushing you against the mattress.

Adam let his lips start at yours showing you an immense amount of love before he moved them to your cheek then to your jaw.

His journey slowly continued to your neck “A-Adam!” Your voice shook as your eyes screwed shut.

It made him smile as he pressed a kiss to each of your breasts “I want to take my time with you.” The hockey player cooed rubbing his fingers in your hips as he kissed your stomach “Adam please.” The desperation in your voice made him smile as he stopped.

The boy moved up to the point where his head stood just above yours “I love you baby.” Adam mumbled pressing his forehead against yours as his free hand drove his cock over your clit before he let it slide into your cunt.

You both gasped as the familiar feeling came over you both “this cunt feels like it did just back then.” Adam let out a grunt as you nodded “please move.” You begged making him smile.

He listened to you beginning to slowly bring his hips away from you before he brought them back to yours “you feel so good.” The Canadian cooed as you lifted your legs up to wrap around his waist like it was on instinct.

Like usual he was always so vocal “don’t stop,” you pleaded leaning forward to kiss his lips.

Adam almost collapsed at your neediness “god you’re out of this world.” Your cunt clenched around his cock at those words.

The moment was soft, it seemed that you two weren’t interested in having hot and steamy sex tonight. Not when you had missed the simple sheer contact that you two were having now “so full.” You blurted out as you swore that his cock had grown as it hit parts of you had it had never seen.

The hockey player didn’t think that he was going to last long as you continued to drive your hips against his “I love you.” You cried as his hand found its way between your bodies landing on your clit “this cunt was made for me.” Adam groaned as you nodded “all for you.” You agreed as you kissed him.

It was needy as Adam’s thrusts grew staggered at the way you clenched around his cock “I’m not gonna last,” Adam confessed as he shook his head “me neither,” you cried as the pressure on your clit increased.

It made your eyes shut as the coil in your stomach threatened to snap “love those noises.” The hockey player felt his head drop against your shoulder.

The sound of your whimpers hit the walls making Adam sure that he was going to get an awkward knock on the door tomorrow from his neighbour “right there oh-” your voice broke as pleasure pulsed through your body.

It made you shake against him as your hands locked in his hair “so so good,” you groaned gasping for air as white specks painted the backs of your eye lids.

Adam’s orgasm came right after yours making you both sweat as you came down from your highs “you okay?” The hockey player asked as his hands brushed your hair out of your face.”

You nodded with a smile “yep.” You watched him throw the condom away in the trash can next to his bed before you made grabby hands wanting him to come back to you “I want a cuddle.” Your confession made him laugh.

Of course Adam listened as he held his hands out to you “happy birthday baby.” You mumbled as you lay your head against his chest.

The boy smiled as he ran his fingers through your hair “thanks for making my birthday one to remember.” He cooed enjoying how this felt.

With you in his arms he knew that one thing was sure.

Home for Adam wasn’t a tangible place, it wasn’t a rink or his childhood home.

His home was right here, you were his home.

[atinylittlepain]

Apothecary - Chapter Two

joel miller x witchy!reader

series masterlist

everyone's got something to say about her, and Joel doesn't know what to make of it. when he returns the favor he owes her, he tries to get some answers up in the mountains and away from the wagging tongues of Jackson.

warnings | 18+ angst, mentions of death, spooky-ooky vibes, people being superstitious dickheads

a/n | thank you all for the love on the first part of this series! i just got so excited i couldn't help but write the second part :) keep letting me know what you think, my inbox is always open and i love to hear from you!

.................................

“My son had a cough since he was two years old. She cured it with whatever she keeps bubbling on that stove of hers.”

“I had a rash that just wouldn’t go away. She gave me a balm that cleared it right up. A godsend, really.”

“Wouldn’t be alive today if she hadn’t nursed me back to health with all those herbs and plants she tends to.” 

“She talks to animals. Calmed a bucking colt with a whisper– I saw it myself!”

“I heard that infected don’t even notice her. Just walk right past her. That ain’t human, if you ask me.”

“That cat of hers spies on people and brings all their secrets back to her. You can’t tell me that’s a normal cat, not with the way it stares at folks.”

“Some of the women say they’ve seen her out in the middle of the night, dancing naked in her backyard whenever it’s a full moon.”

“I don’t know about dancing naked, but I have seen some strange lights coming from her shop on my way home from the Tipsy Bison. Lord knows what she gets up to in there.”

“She curses men. Lures them up into the mountains and puts them under her spell. But they always end up dead.”

“Dead?”

“As a doornail. It ain’t a coincidence that any man that crosses paths with her seems to wind up with one really unlucky patrol shift. Luck’s got nothing to do with it, lemme tell you.” 

Even though Tommy told him to forget about it, Joel’s been doing a bit of recon, asking people around town about her, and every new anecdote only further confuses him. It seems like everyone’s got some sort of opinion about the resident witch.

It has shocked him, really, how openly folks call her that. Even the ones that speak highly of her. He had asked Ellie about what she had heard one day after she came home from her classes at the community school. She had shrugged, a knowing grin on her face

“Well, she sure helped me out, old man. But yeah, my friends say their moms call her a lot worse names than witch. Personally, I think it’s fucking cool. D’you think she can fly around on a broom like in the movies?” Joel had not been particularly amused by that question.

He’s not sure what to make of any of it. Some people call her a saint. Others call her the devil incarnate. But there does seem to be a general consensus that any man that sets her in his sights is doomed to meet a timely demise.

It’s been two weeks since he saw her at the town market, and he hasn’t even caught a glimpse of her since. According to Maria, she’s been busy with a flare-up of some sort of stomach bug in the community, making house calls and – Joel supposes – working her magic. 

He can’t figure out why he even cares. After all, he’s only met the woman once. But he can’t seem to shake her out of his thoughts, replaying their meeting over and over in his head, particularly the moment she had said Sarah’s name with such certainty.

He finds himself rolling all this over in his mind most nights, sitting out on his front porch as the summer sun turns to thick liquid over the mountains. It’s in such a position that he finally sees her again, approaching his house with a tired smile on her face.

“Hey there, stranger.” She walks up the first step to his porch, leaning against the wooden beam as she speaks. He can’t help the way his eyes trail over her, a pair of coveralls like the kind mechanics used to wear pulled distractingly taut around the swell of her hips and a cloth bag slung over her shoulder, the tops of jars and bottles peeking out of it. When his eyes finally slip back up to her face, the quirk of her eyebrows lets him know that she totally clocked him checking her out, and he has to clear his throat, swallowing his embarrassment before he responds.

“Um, hey– hi. I, uh, haven’t seen you around lately.” She tilts her head at him, smile simmering down to a crooked smirk.

“I’ve been a little busy with all the– y’know, vomiting and diarrhea around town. But I think folks are finally out of the woods now.” Joel has to wonder to himself how she can still manage to look pretty while talking about vomiting and diarrhea.

“How exactly do you help– with that?” Her smile broadens.

“For the stuff coming out the top end, peppermint oil mostly. Ginger is king, but I’ve only got so much of it cultivating at the shop. For the problem down below, you just gotta push fluids and tell them it’ll pass.” 

“Can I ask– how do you know this stuff?” 

“Most of what I know comes from my mom. She was a lady of the plants, knew just about everything about anything that grows.” Fondness laces through her words, a soft smile as she tells him this, and he finds himself mirroring her expression.

“Lady of the plants– that’s a new one to me.” 

“Well, it’s better than witch, right?” Joel’s smile falls, but she just laughs.

“So I take it you’ve heard the rumors about me?” He’s not sure how to respond, a thickness settling in his throat and ice prickling the back of his neck. His voice comes out a bit hoarse when he does finally answer.

“Heard a lot of things about you. Not really sure what to believe though.” Her smile screws up at that, eyes crinkling as she looks at him.

“Why don’t you just ask me what you’re wondering then? Get it straight from the source.” She crosses her arms over her chest, the unbuttoned snaps of her coveralls splaying open to reveal the edge of a white tank-top, the suggestion of cleavage drawing Joel’s eyes before he can help it. He swallows hard, eyes darting back up to hers.

“Is it– I mean– are you?”

“Am I what?” She wants to hear him say it, he can tell by the ghosting curve of her lips. The word feels silly coming out of his mouth.

“Are you a– a witch?” Her smile goes practically radioactive at that, big and bright as she throws her head back in a laugh. She looks back at him, her lips pursed, eyes narrowed.

“Oh yeah, certified. Got the black cat to prove it and everything.” As if on cue, Stevie jumps up onto the railing of the porch, making Joel jump in his seat. She stifles a giggle behind her hand, Stevie nuzzling against her arm that’s wrapped around the porch beam. Joel huffs.

“Look, it seems like everyone’s got something to say about you. But I’m not the kind of guy to buy into a bunch of bullshit rumors.” She hums at that.

“Oh, no? What kind of guy are you then, Joel?” 

“The kind that likes to work things out for himself.” 

“Is that what this is? You working me out?” 

“Sure am trying to.” She sucks her teeth, squinting at him.

“And?” Joel sighs.

“And– I’m thinking it’s gonna take me a while to reach any kind of conclusion.” She nods lightly at that, smiling at Stevie as scratches under the cat’s chin.

“Hmm, alright. You let me know when you reach your conclusion then.” A thick blink of silence falls between them, and Joel finds himself unable to tear his eyes away from hers, only breaking when she lets out a sigh.

“I didn’t just come over here to give you a hard time. Was actually hoping to cash in on that favor you owe me.” He sits up a little straighter at that, nodding.

“Alright, when did you wanna go out– I mean– not– go out– like– not like a–” She laughs, silencing his floundering. 

“I know what you meant. And I was thinking the end of this week? Do you have time on Friday?” 

“Uh-huh, yep. That’s my day off.” Her face falls.

“Oh, I don’t wanna take up your day off, I’m–”

“Don’t worry about that. I’m happy to help, really.” Her frown softens into a suggestion of a smile, and she nods.

“Well, alright. Thank you, Joel. You good to meet at the gates that morning?” 

“I’ll be there, darlin. Sounds like a plan.” She grins.

“Until then, Joel.” She turns, hopping down from the porch step, before glancing over her shoulder to look at him.

“Oh, and don’t worry. I’m not gonna curse you. Not yet at least.” It’s so unexpected, he ends up choking on an inhale, but his coughing doesn’t drown out the sound of her laugh as she slinks away from his house. He’s so busy watching her saunter off that he doesn’t notice the cat jumping down from the railing, startling him when she starts twining between his legs. Stevie looks up at him, yellow eyes unblinking, as if she’s expecting something from him. He tentatively leans forward, holding out his open hand which the cat sniffs at before nudging her head into his palm, a low purr vibrating through her body. 

“You gonna go tell her all my secrets, Stevie?” The cat looks up at him, head tilted. A little too human-like for Joel’s taste. She lets out a small mrrp, before going back to twining between his legs, sleek spine arching up into Joel’s hand. Then, just as quickly as she had appeared, she pads off down the steps of his porch and out into the night. 

…

“Rumor has it you’re helping a certain lady out with some work up in the mountains tomorrow.” Joel huffs at his brother’s cocked eyebrow and crooked smirk.  He takes a sharp swig of his drink before responding.

“Owe her a favor, that's all. And before you tell me I’m not gonna come back alive, I’ve already heard that from four other people this week.” That gets a laugh out of Tommy, his eyes glancing around the bar before focusing back on Joel. 

“Nah, you’ll come back alive. It’s the days after when they always end up dead.” 

“You serious?” Tommy shrugs.

“There’s been a couple of guys, sure. But if you ask me, that has more to do with the stories people believe than it does with her. What we believe, we create, brother. The mind is a powerful thing.” He punctuates his words with a tap of his fingers to his temple. Joel grumbles.

“Yeah, yeah, alright, wise ass. But you’re telling me there really have been men who’ve–”

“It’s all coincidence, Joel. Like I said, there have been a few guys who started chasing after her. Went up into the mountains with her, y’know, all romantic and shit. And then, well, it seems like every time, only a few days later, they wound up dead. But in every instance, it was a bad patrol shift that got them. S’just coincidence that it happened after they got with her.”

“How many coincidences?” Tommy sighs.

“Four. In the last four years or so.” Joel feels his brows lift at that.

“That’s a lot of fucking coincidences, Tommy.” Tommy shrugs.

“Look, folks always talk about how horrible it is that all these men died. And it is. But no one thinks to mention what that must have done to her. To like someone? Hell, maybe even love someone? And then not only have them taken away from you, but to then be blamed for it too? It’s fucking atrocious, man.” When Tommy finishes speaking, silence falls between them, Joel a bit stunned by the clear compassion Tommy speaks with about her.

“Why d’you even care? Why not join the crowd, huh?” Tommy frowns at that, twirling his liquor in his glass rather than looking at his brother.

“I didn’t tell you this– I mean, why would I? But, Maria had a pretty difficult pregnancy.” He takes a sharp inhale before continuing to speak.

“We weren’t sure if– if the baby– if we were gonna be ok. And she was there for us, through it all.” Joel can see the tears pooling in his brother’s eyes, glinting in the low light of the bar when he finally looks at him.

“I don’t know if we’d have our boy today if it hadn’t been for her. So yeah, I care about her. And I’ll side with her every time. And most folks will too, when push comes to shove. She’s done a lot for this community. But it’s easy to spread poison behind people’s backs. So that’s what they do.” Tommy sits back on his stool, sighing deeply.

“Suppose a lot of the men see her as a challenge, y’know? Steal a cursed kiss and live to tell the tale, or some bullshit like that. And the women see the men pining after her, and they don’t like that one bit. Either way, they talk, way more than they should.” Tommy throws back the last of his drink, wincing at the burn. Joel, meanwhile, is still trying to process everything his brother just told him.

“So should I tell the kid to start planning my funeral, or what?” Tommy laughs, shaking his head.

“Nah, I think you’re too much of a stubborn ass to let a rinky-dink curse sway you. Besides, I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.” Joel squints at his brother.

“Why’s that?” 

“You said you’re just doing a favor for her. She might not even like you enough to curse you, brother.”

…

Joel doesn’t sleep at all that night. His mind works over what Tommy told him again and again, trying to reach some sort of conclusion about everything he’s learned, and coming up short every time. He shuffles out in the early morning light, eyes bleary as he nears the gate. She, however, is chipper as anything, smiling broadly when she sees him.

“Hey there, you ready to go?” He nods, grumbling out a quiet affirmation, and then they’re off.

Most of the morning is spent in silence, hiking up into the mountains. Joel knows that it’s not infected they have to worry about, not out here. But raiders are a whole other story, so he keeps a steady hand on his rifle slung over his shoulder, letting her lead them a few paces ahead of him. 

“You’re quiet this morning.” She glances at him over her shoulder as she speaks, eyebrow lifted.

“I’m thinking.” 

“About?” He huffs, stopping where he stands in the underbrush of the woods. When she realizes he’s no longer following, she turns back around, hands on her hips as she looks at him.

“I just– I wish you’d give me some straight answers here. I’ve heard something different about you from just about everyone in town– and I’m not sure if I believe any of it. Just– please.” Her brow is furrowed, eyes squinted at him as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“What do you want from me, Joel?” He swallows hard, eyes glancing around the thick trees before looking back at her.

“The truth– I want the truth.” She sighs, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific than that.” He has to laugh out of frustration at this little game they’re playing, pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out a low curse before focusing back on her.

“Alright, I’ll be specific. All those men that died. A lot of folks around town are convinced that you had something to do with it. S’that true?” When she speaks, Joel’s taken aback by her tone, her usual lightness replaced by a steeled stoicism.

“I had nothing to do with that. Any of it. The only curse that was on those men was their own goddamn minds buying into the town bullshit.” He’s inclined to believe her, judging by her unwavering gaze and the sure tilt of her chin as she speaks, but there’s still more that he needs to know.

“But you are– different. Aren’t you?” That coaxes a smile out of her, and she steps a bit closer to him.

“Different.” She says the word like a challenge, and he nods, taking his own steps closer to her.

“Is that your conclusion, Joel?” Both of them have their arms crossed over their chests, and they now stand so close that their forearms lightly brush.

“Starting to think I ain’t ever gonna reach a conclusion about you, darlin.” Her eyes crinkle, smile threatening to crook into a full-blown grin.

“Would that be such a bad thing? No conclusion?” It’s like magnets, the way their faces tilt, subtle shifts toward one another until he can feel the light air of her exhale across his mouth. He hums, a low sound in his chest.

“I think I’ll live.” He can practically feel the stretch of her grin at his words.

“I think you will too.” It happens as easily as a tide rolling in, languid in the way their lips slip together. His hands find the sweep of her jaw, pulling her in deeper, her palms splaying over his chest. He’s a little surprised when she swipes her tongue over the curve of his bottom lip, coaxing him open and tangling even closer with him. A woman has never taken charge like this with him, and it’s making his head spin. When she does pull away, he’s only a little embarrassed by the way he chases after her lips, stuttering into some sort of composure when she grins at him.

“For the record, you’re not wrong.” Not entirely sure what she means, he frowns at her, shaking his head. She laughs.

“I am different, Joel.”

“That wasn’t just a lucky guess, was it? About– about Sarah?” Her eyes soften, features dropping into a sad understanding. She slides her palms up from his chest to twine behind his neck. 

“No, it wasn’t.” 

…

“This is lemon balm.” She glances over her shoulder at him from where she’s crouched down, thumbing at a cropping of large, waxy leaves. He’s learned the names of more plants today than he could ever remember, though he still nods when she shows him a new one like he has any clue what it is.

“What do you use that for?” 

“You dry it, and then you can brew tea with it. It’s calming– helps with sleep and stress. Or you can mix it into salve to treat cold sores. Though not many people in Jackson come to me with that problem.” She clips several leaves from the plant, carefully tucking them into her pack and slinging it over her shoulder as she stands back up. 

They’ve been out all day, moving through the woods as she collects various plant snippings, explaining each one to him, how to use it and what its use is. And between them, a silent understanding has settled, even though Joel hasn’t asked anymore questions about her. But he knows that Tommy was right. Whatever she is, she’s a good one.

“We oughta head back soon. Sun’s starting to set.” She nods, wiping her hands off on the front of her jeans, and they easily step into stride with one another. They spend most of the hike back in a comfortable silence. Joel finds himself wanting to say something, ask something more, but always hesitating, mind hazy from the heat of the day, and from the stamped memory of the kiss they shared. Even if it was cursed, he reckons that he wouldn’t mind that.

“Joel? I want to say thank you.” He glances at her walking alongside him, the quick-fading light casting syrupy shadows across her features. He has to blink a few times to keep himself from staring.

“No need for thanks. I was happy to repay the favor.” 

“No, that’s– that’s not what I meant. I mean– thank you for coming out today with me, I appreciate it. But– I wanted to thank you for– thinking for yourself– about me.” That makes him stop in his stride, turning to fully look at her as she does the same. They’ve just crested a hill, the gates of Jackson coming into view, and her eyes keep glancing back toward it, a nervous crease between her brows.

“It’s just– you’re right– I know everyone has something to say about me. And I guess I don’t have too many friends because of it. Most folks make up their minds about me before they even talk to me. So, thank you– for not doing that.” His chest twists at her words, the worried look scrunched across her face. He’d like to take the pain away that’s clear in her expression. And then, that tightness in his chest grows for a different reason, as he realizes that he’s already in far too deep with her. He has to clear his throat to shake away the thickening feeling, tentatively reaching his hand out to her, his fingers skating over the faint dip of her collarbone. He can see her breath catch at his touch, and he revels in it, letting his hand trail down her arm until their fingers are tangling together.

“You shouldn’t have to thank me for that. Whatever may or may not be true about you– no one deserves that. I just– why do you help them– when they treat you the way they do?” She sighs, squeezing his hand in hers, and giving a weak shrug of her shoulders.

“Because it’s what I’m good at. I always wanted to help people– and that’s what I get to do. Even if some of them are fucking dicks about it.” Her crassness catches him off guard, pulling a stuttering laugh from his chest as she grins. But she’s all seriousness again, clearing her throat, her brow pulling down.

“Suppose I should warn you now that they’ll talk about you too– if you stick around me. And I don’t blame you if you don’t want–” He’s heard enough, and does something entirely too bold by closing the distance between them to steal another kiss, her wide eyes meeting his when he pulls away.

“Don’t care what any of ‘em have to say about me, or about you. They can talk all they want, darlin.” He can feel the relief in her sigh. She nods, giving his hand one final squeeze before breaking away, continuing the walk back to town. 

When they get back inside the gates, she offers him a small smile, her hands fidgeting with the straps of her pack.

“Thank you again. I really appreciated your help.” 

“Like I said, it was no–”

“Well, well, well– what do we have here? Looks like she’s got Miller under her spell, boys!” The change in her demeanor is instant, face scrunching up as they both turn to see where the commentary is coming from. Joel recognizes the man, Mason, if he remembers right, and a small group of other guys he knows from past patrol meetings. They’ve all got a similar sneer across their faces, eyes zeroed in on her, and he has to fight the urge to step in front of her to get them to stop looking at her like that.

“Guess we better get another coffin ready, huh? Hate to break it to you, Miller. She may be pretty, but she ain’t nothing but bad news.” Joel’s fists clench at his sides, and as the men break into another howl of laughter, his feet start moving toward them before his brain can catch up. But she’s quick to step in front of him, hands pressing into his chest and eyes fierce.

“Don’t– it’s not worth it.” It’s immediate, the calm that washes over him with her words, though he still glares over her shoulder at the men, whose laughter has only escalated.

“Awww, she got you good, man! Hey, witchy-poo! What kinda magic you got working on Miller to have him so whipped?” And with that, Joel is ready to bash their heads in all over again, though she holds him back with her palms firm against the front of his shirt. 

“Joel, it’s fine. They’re harmless, really.” He glances at the men one more time before finally focusing back on her, huffing as he nods. She gives him what she can of a smile, worry still pressed between her brows. 

“I’ll see you soon, ok?” His hands flex at his sides, wanting more than anything to tuck her under his arm and walk off together, but he settles for another nod, and a whispered acquiescence. She’s gone in a blink, walking off to the hollering of the men behind her. Before he can do something stupid, Joel heads off in the opposite direction toward the Tipsy Bison. He needs a fucking drink.

…

Joel is nursing his second tumbler of whiskey when just about the last person he’d like to see sidles up next to him at the bar. 

“Miller.” Mason sits down on the stool next to him, but Joel keeps his eyes on his swirling glass. 

“Look, man, I’m sorry for giving you a hard time out there. But I’m trying to help you out.” Joel rests his elbows on the bar, glancing briefly at Mason.

“Don’t remember asking for your help, man.” Mason laughs, turning on his stool to fully face Joel, a stupid grin across his face.

“Well then you don’t know her as well as we all do. I meant what I said, y’know. She’s bad news.” Joel’s starting to feel that anger creeping up his throat, angling himself just slightly in Mason’s direction to get a good look at him.

“Son, I’ve heard enough stories this week to have a pretty good idea of just how full of shit you all are. I thought this was a community of decent people, really. But after being told one too many times about some ridiculous curse, I realize you’re nothing but fools and cowards.” Mason laughs again, and Joel’s a blink away from slapping the sound right out of his mouth. 

“I’m not talking about that bullshit curse.” Joel squints at him.

“Come again?” 

“That curse you’re referring to? I agree with you that it’s town nonsense. But that’s not what I’m talking about.” When Joel stays silent, Mason’s mouth stretches into a smile.

“She may not be sending men to their graves, but she ain’t so innocent either. See, she likes to meddle.”

“Meddle?” Mason nods.

“In other people’s business. Sure, she helps folks all the time. But that’s not all she’s doing in that shop of hers.” Joel huffs, getting tired of the way this man seems to be stringing him along.

“Talk plainly, son. It’s getting late.” Mason barks out a laugh, sliding off his stool before laying a hand on Joel’s shoulder, a squinted smile on his face.

“Why don’t you go see what she’s got cooking up in that kitchen of hers in the middle of the night. Because I can tell you right now, it ain’t fucking tea.”

[wordsarelife]

—𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊 𝖒𝖊: official soundtrack!

note: requests are open regarding anything to do with the don't blame universe (you can tell me anything: what you (didn't) like, questions you have, asks for drabbles/ short fics, characters opinions/ moments you'd like to see. feel free!!!)

best of tweets will follow in a few days, stay tuned!!!

debut album: neon nights -> real songs

blood//water (grandson)

daddy issues (the neighbourhood)

you get me so high (the neighbourhood)

fluroscent adolescence (arctic monkeys)

only angel (harry styles)

second album: soft death -> real songs

jackie and wilson (hozier)

about you (the 1975)

i wanna be yours (arctic monkeys)

she (harry styles)

obviously (mcfly)

too sweet (hozier)

end of beginning (joe keery)

made up songs:

neon nights

in the haze of neon nights,/ we were fearless in our flights,/ chasing dreams under starry skies,/ laughing 'til tears filled our eyes.

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

remember those careless hours,/ building castles from shattered flowers,/ promised you a better fate, now i've noticed it's too late

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

in crowded rooms, i search for your face,/ but it's just an empty space,/ echoes of laughter haunt my mind,/ leaving fragments of us behind.

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

neon lights fade into gray,/ silent reminders of yesterday,/ i miss you more than words can show,/ in these neon nights, where did you go?

lying to your face

she’s got those sailor moon eyes,/ never been the type of girl to take home to your mother./ she’s got those meteorite vibes,/ put it in park we can go get high on each other.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

we could hide from the truth,/ escape from the lies and the drama./ lost in our youth,/ your body is my panorama.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

oh, honey, you’re my secret sin,/ with every touch, i lose again.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

cheap wine

we used to own the night,/ every whisper, every sigh,/ the way you looked at me,/ like we were meant to be,

now i see you in the crowd,/ his hand pulling you around,/ it's like a ghost of what we had,/ now he has you instead

i can't help but wonder why,/ we let our love just pass us by,/ now you’re living in a different time,/ but I’m stuck on replay in my mind.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every time i hear your name,/ it’s like a flicker of the flame,/ i see your smile in my dreams,/ haunting me with what it means,

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every memory, every touch, / a love that once was, now it’s just too much,/ to see you move on, while i stay behind,/ clinging to the remnants of our time./ but i’ll raise a glass to what we had,/ and let it go, though it hurts so bad,/ in every tear, in every sigh, i’ll find a way to say goodbye.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

eight packs of cigarettes

in the glow of street lights,/ underneath the city's haze,/ you found me in the darkest nights,/ lost in a nicotine haze.

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

as the night moves past/ i'm the only one last/ tell me that you lied/ no, tell me that you're mine

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

in the haze of smoke and dreams,/ i'll keep searching for some reprieve,/ but until then, I'll keep the smoke,/ eight packs of cigarettes full of hope.

hot-headed

you walk in like a hurricane, eyes sharp like a blade,/ a tempest in your heart, every move is a raid,/ your words cut deep, leaving scars in their wake,/ a rebel without a cause, a risk i had to take.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

you're a wild card, a mystery wrapped in smoke,/ with a devilish grin, and a laugh that provokes,/ we clash like thunder, yet i can't stay away,/ caught in your storm, i'm lost in the fray.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

in the heat of our battles, we find our peace,/ in the eye of the storm, our hearts never cease,/ you're my sweet disaster, my beautiful curse,/ in this wild romance, we’ll always immerse.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

pixie dream girl

she's an average girl, with tangled up hair,/ her laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than i can bear./ she flutters around, like a clumsy old crow,/ leaving chaos behind her, wherever she goes.

she's a mess wrapped in chaos,/ a thorn in my side, no matter the cost./ she'll stumble and fall, then blame it on me,/ i'm tired of her games, can't you see?

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

she's a pixie dream girl, with a crooked old smile,/ her clothes mismatched, it's just not my style./ she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,/ i'm counting the seconds 'til i've had enough.

she's a nuisance, a pest,/ always around, never giving me rest./ she'll chatter and ramble, driving me mad,/ i'm losing my patience, it's really too bad.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song, In nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long, She's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl, Oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

soft death (in your arms)

your touch, like fire, ignites my skin/ we’re caught in the heat, where it all begins/ velvet kisses, burning bright,/ in your arms, i come alive tonight.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

your lips, a drug, i need the taste,/ losing control, there's no time to waste,/ aching love, a sweet embrace,/ lost in rhythm, we find our pace.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the moonlight dances on your face,/ every touch, a sweet embrace,/ in this moment, we are one,/ desire rising with the sun.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the day before tomorrow

don't rush into the unknown,/ tomorrow's not yet shown,/ take a breath, slow it down,/ in this moment, we have found.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

sunset paints the sky in gold,/ memories to cherish, to hold,/ stars whisper secrets of the night,/ in this dusk, let's ignite.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

time's river runs so fast,/ but we'll make this moment last,/ no regrets, no great sorrow,/ just today, no tomorrow.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

the sweetest night

in the quiet of the night,/ underneath the stars so bright,/ close your eyes, my precious one,/ the day is done, the night has come.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

moonlight paints your peaceful face,/ in the cradle of my embrace,/ whispers soft, like melodies,/ carry you to far-off seas.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

stars above will guide your way,/ until the dawn brings a new day,/ sleep in peace, my heart's delight,/ in this sweetest night, so calm, so bright.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

echoes of devotion

my love, like orpheus, i'd come,/ to tread through shadows, my body numb,/ but truth be told, in my hearts embrace,/ i fear i'd falter, lose the race.

for i'd turn back, just like him,/ my gaze would brake, our future grim,/ your fading form, in shadows deep,/ my love, too strong, my soul to keep.

like orpheus, with his lyre's song,/ i'd sing to you, all night long,/ but in that moment, with fate's cruel twist,/ i'd choose your eyes, and lose what's missed.

for i'd turn back just like him,/ the current stronger than we swim,/ i'd face the darkness, lose my way,/ for one more look, i'd gladly pay.

for you're the melody that guides my soul,/ through tempests wild and rivers cold,/ i'll brave the depths, defy the night,/ to hold your hand in morning light.

so here i stand, before your eyes,/ with trembling heart, and no disguise,/ to say, my love, in honesty,/ i'd turn for your like orpheus for eurydice.

A/N: what’s your favorite song/ line? my fav is definitely neon nights, because theo wrote it about leo :(

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy @the-sylver-dragon @ess-perspective @starsval

[sanakimohara]

“Pretty When You Cry” B.C.

“Although she is alone…she knows the truth.” + “If you think I’m pretty lay your hands on me…”

Summary: Chan as a yandere. Borderline stalking type of yandere to be exact.

WARNING: MDNI, cursing, smut obviously, mentions of kidnapping, and cnc…among other things.

A/N: this was a request and it caught my interest so I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did while thinking/writing about it.

—————————————————————

A knife could slice right through the thick tension between you and Chan right now.

Not because his eyes were glaring daggers straight into your Bambi like stare or that you were purposely keeping your distance from him by sticking close to the nearest exit. No, the reason was much more complicated.

You. More specifically, you assuming Chan wouldn’t be jealous or possessive of you.

Now, he had you all alone to ‘talk’ but you knew that just meant your night was about to riddled with consequences from him. So, planted yourself near the door -a useless precaution you took to feel safer.

Little did you know, he’d locked it the moment you wandered into his room. You came to him under the impression he just wanted to show you something he’d been working on and was only slightly aware of his true intentions.

Now, you wished more than ever that you’d paid more attention to your small suspicions, but it was too late for you to leave without having to go through him. Chan made sure of that by pocketing his hotel room key card.

“Chan, please..” you started to reason with him, voice trembling slightly as you spoke, and your body involuntarily pressing against the locked door as he stood up abruptly. His face was unnervingly expressionless but his eyes were piercing, swirling with all the intensity of emotions you’d become familiar with.

Jealousy, lust, and possessiveness. Anger was present too -steadily growing the longer he replayed the image of you flirting with some random staff member during their concert.

“Let me ask you something,” Chan was now inches from you, his entire body dwarfing yours in comparison, and his voice shallow with simmering rage. He really was terrifying when upset and with envy added into the mix he was downright evil sometimes.

Shamefully, it turned you on more than anything else. Being afraid of him, what he might do you, and how he’d take his anger out on you. It was so wrong for you to be wet already, merely in Chan’s presence, and forced to stay there until he decided to let you go.

Which was never, in his opinion.

“Do you like pissing me off?,” he nearly growls the question and your tummy does several slips hearing the rasp carry through to his accent. “N-no, I don’t Chan-“ you answer him carefully, face heating up as your fear amps up to new heights when he grabs your jaw with one hand and places the other above your head to lean forward on. “Yes, you fucking do. Why else would you go around whoring yourself out to other men then?” Chan taunts you with a faux smile, raising his brows slightly to add to his condescending tone, and you huff softly in return.

“Channie, I promise we were just-“ you’re cut off again as his hand on your face falls to your throat, gripping it tight until you have to hiss in a breath, and cling to his wrist with both of your small hands. Chan holds you there, counting the seconds until he sees tears prick your lidded eyes, and only then does he loosen his hold on you.

“I don’t care what you were doing, little one. This is the last time you’ll ever try me, understood?” You could barely hear him over your heart drumming your ears from being choked so ruthlessly seconds ago, and when you don’t answer him immediately Chan takes that as a sign of defiance on your end.

His tongue poked the inside of his cheek, dark eyes filling with a new emotion as he watched you struggle to breathe with his hand still putting pressure on your throat. You already looked so broken in for him, probably bound to drop to your knees if he let you go, and your pathetic attempts to wriggle out of his grasp never failed to amuse him.

Chan would never let you go, you knew that, but still tried with all your might to fight him off -even if you’d been craving his affection the whole time.

It was part of your dynamic. Chan could drag you through hell and back, you’d insist on running away, but ultimately fail and let him do whatever he wanted to you.

“I think you need a little reminder of who you belong to,” Chan hums lowly, passing his thumb over the fullness of your bottom lip before slowly pushing it into your warm mouth. “Suck,” he commands, pressing down on your tongue slightly as you start to do exactly that. Quiet whimpers vibrate through your throat as you lick and suck on his thumb, doe eyes sparkling with need as he watched you obey his every word.

You could feel his hardened cock through his jeans, the length of it pressed right against your pelvis and lower stomach, and you were tempted to reach down and palm him just for the hell of it. Unfortunately, he’d quickly pull your hand away, reminding you that “you’re not allowed to touch daddy until I say you can…”

You hated that rule but knew the consequences for breaking it would only leave you edged to the brink of delirium and his cum plowed deep into your sore womb.

Chan was certainly not the man to tease -unless you were prepared to endure the corresponding punishment.

So, you took pleasure in sucking on his fingers, imagining it was cock instead, and continuously drooling on his digits until he removed them. You coughed softly as he did, chest heaving, and eyes still watering as they refocused on his face.

Chan couldn’t help but chuckle at your disoriented expression, always so neat and sweet in public, but behind closed doors and in his view you just looked like a love sick pup waiting to be used.

You half expected him to push you down to your knees, already accepting your fate of him using your throat as his personal cock sleeve, but Chan had other ideas.

He closed the distance between you two, ducking his head to capture your spit slick lips with his plump ones. You moaned as he pushed his tongue past yours, taking his time to explore your mouth, and swallowing the short and desperate noises you let out in between each kiss.

Your hold on his veiny wrist and arm traced up to his neck, gently massaging the muscle there before your fingers tangled through the hair at the back of his head. Chan grunted into your mouth when lightly pulled on his dark hair, “I should’ve fucked you in front of him,” he mumbles harshly against your lips, hands gripping your hips to turn you around in one quick motion.

A small yelp flies from your chest as your frontside meets the cold surface, Chan’s body weighing down on yours as his hands slid from your waist to the closure of your black high waisted shorts. He started to undo the tedious buttons and zipper while tracing his lips down the right side your neck. You whined as he littered mark after mark on your unblemished skin, his hands now hooked on the sides of your shorts to pull them off, and his heavy breaths causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.

“You would’ve liked that, yeah? Daddy fucking you in front of everyone so they’ll never forget who you belong to?” His chest rumbled against your back as he spoke, tone bordering on desperation as you whined and reached a hand up to caress one side of his face. “Yes,” you moan loudly, finally shedding your usual timid nature to fully enjoy the moment, and Chan smirked against skin hearing your delicate voice reach a new octave.

“You’re such a slut, and you’re all mine too,” he muses, slipping one hand right between your shaking thighs, and delving past the fabric of your underwear to cup your mound. “Ahm…stop! No..!” You half moan and half whimper as he takes in the soaking expanse of your cunt.

It was embarrassing. You were definitely more than eager to have him touch you and now he knew it.

Chan laughed dryly at your pathetic attempt to refuse him, fingers sliding up and down your folds to collect as much of your cum as possible before swirling those same fingers around your clit. “You want me to stop? That’s not what your body wants, now is it, baby?” He didn’t need you to answer, your broken cries were enough for him, and the dazed look in your eyes only intensified as he played with your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“…s-stop p-please….ill be good…just-just let me go…” you try again to win your freedom, voice cracking as a few tears began to trickle down your flushed cheeks. His attention to your clit had migrated to your entrance, prodding it open with two thick fingers before he shoved them into you as deep as possible. “Fuck ..,” Chan inhaled sharply from how tight your cunt was, already clenching around his fingers like you’d break if he put anymore in.

He might’ve came right then and there if he hadn’t already built his stamina up but his cock still twitched just from the constant pulsing of your wet core.

“Daddy, s’ too much....” you weakly called for his attention, panting as he curled, pumped, and twirled his fingers inside you. He reached every spot that made you see stars and even had you circling your hips to the pace of his hand. “I don’t care,” Chan responded gruffly, back to marking your neck and shoulder as he sped the pace of his fingers up.

You choked on a string of moans, face contrasting into a mindless picture of pleasure as he abused your cunt. “Nooo.. ah!” You tried your best to keep protesting, yet he only added to your torture by slowly circling his thumb on your clit . Now, you were at a loss for words, head emptying of any thoughts besides cumming on his hand.

You were incredibly close to the edge and Chan noticed from just one look at your beautifully lost and delirious stare. Your head lulled back onto his shoulder, eyes rolling slightly as he brought you to your climax with precise pumps into your dripping cunt. “Cumming…” you whimper into the crook of his neck, letting the smell of his cologne fill your head as the knot in your tummy snapped. He groaned as you gushed on his hand, making a mess in your lacey underwear as well, and watched you rock your hips to ride your high out.

Chan smiled at the sight, in love with how messy and careless you could be when he touched you. “You’re gonna cum like this on my cock next, princess…” he announced it like a command and all you could muster was a shaky exhale followed with a lazy smile as you felt him drag his fingers out of your sticky entrance.

“You’ll never forget what it means to be owned by me again, baby girl..”

—————————————————————

Should I make a PT2? I kind of already did hehehe….we will see how PT1 goes first, yeah? 🖤

BONUS CONTENT +

(Sorry not sorry for this…🖤)

[eggroll-sama]

Touchstarved Demo Review

Played the demo of Touchstarved and I can’t get it out of my head. Refreshing tumblr every three seconds to read people’s stances on the game so I’m going to do it myself. Here’s are my current stances on the characters.

KURAS

Rather secluded and to himself, initial reactions wise I was disappointed in not getting to know more about him in the demo. but at the same time, the demo set the stage for what exactly I could expect from his route. Slow-burn. Much like what I expect Mhin’s route to be like, but moreso focused on getting to know his past. He doesn’t voice his internal struggles because he has a firm barrier he sets between himself and other, probably hates getting too close to human’s because he is immortal and doesn’t like the idea of getting attached to things that are temporary.

Also, after listening to the Q and A on YouTube and how supposedly Kuras will do some messed up shit in his route, I’m really excited to see what’s up with this tight-lipped doctor. He is definitely not the nice, charitable doctor that he is known for in Lowtown.

On a positive note, his design is probably my favorite in the game! Very unique, gorgeous, and ethereal, so pretty that I know if he existed in real life he’d be out of my league and would be popular just because of how jaw-droppingly gorgeous he is. Mr Steal your girl, but he’s respectful so he won’t be a home wrecker.

(More reviews under the cut)

LEANDER

A character that I thought looked so suspicious and weirded out, but fell in love with when playing the game. I thought he looked like a psychopath!

Because I’m a stupid, easily manipulated dumbass, I initially didn’t really capture his red flags when playing the demo. Every time he let me touch him, my heart beat wouldn’t stop! And his blush is so adorable. He seemed like the trustworthy nice-guy that just wanted to help a poor soul out. And uh, chest. The chest really had an effect on me and his entire outfit didn’t help. Black turtle necks awaken something in me, yknow? And the belts? Hoe energy.

After replaying the demo a few times, it just stands out to me how much of a player he is. Before realizing MC was at the bar because of Kuras, he was in flirting mode and probably considering MC to be part of his escapades. The disappointment in his tone and face when he found out MC was there for business 😂😂.

We get the most information of Leander from the special conversation with the characters so I am quite pumped to know what exactly this guy is about, cuz each person has varying, colorful opinions on him. I find it so funny that Vere, the most flirtatious in the game, is weirded out by shameless Leander is. Maybe that is Leander’s flaw? The leader of the Bloodhounds, envied by many and respected by most, is the most submissive and horny bitch on the planet. Ok ok, I’m done. But I could go on and on about this man.

(Side note, Mhin and Leander definitely had a drunken one night stand. And Mhin absolutely regretted it)

Even after reading all the theories on how sus he is, his interactions were probably my favorite in the entire game. I’m just so intrigued by him.

VERE

Not the biggest fan of Vere. I’m not into animal ears and tails.

Im going to be honest in real life I would be flustered by Vere’s advances and probably feel a sort of fascination towards him echen to attraction, but he’s not really the type that I want to romance in games. Also the fact of the matter is is that sexual innuendoes just not my thing, especially when it comes to first impressions. And my first impression was getting my key stolen so nice.

Irl Vere can be acquaintances at most. I would be there just to hear the juiciest details about some drama. He would always have some snarky comment that would make me laugh. I love some dark humor. But at the same time, he’s dangerous af. I wouldn’t want to get too close to him. He has major issues and idk when he would snap, that’s the scary part! If I tease him playfully and he was not in the mood, off goes my head.

I like his relationship with Ais, adds more juiciness to the story. Love me some love triangles. Reminds me of Rime and Felix relationship in Last Legacy.

I would like the challenge of winning him over though. Because his route would probably be so unpredictable and challenging, I feel more motivated to play and invest in his story

AIS

I love his character design! Probably my second favorite in the game. Ais exudes confidence, competence, and strength. Major main character vibes from Ais. I’m guessing that’s why Leander hates him. HOW DARE YOU BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION, LITERALLY THE CENTER OF ALL THE PROMO ART YOU FUCKIN BASTAR-

I personally do not feel that much of a love connection towards Ais as much as Leander. More like, I chill with you. I could grab a drink with you and talk about life. Yes. Maybe when I play his route they’ll prove me wrong. Im still curious about him so can’t wait to play his route. But I don’t see much of a red flag in him as the others, he just seems like a chill guy that went through hell. I’m guessing he’ll show his dark sides in his route.

It’s concerning that he’s attracted to Vere cuz Vere is…Vere. Problematic. Chaotic. An Asshole. Hmmm, is Ais technically an enabler? Yes, but Ais also starts bar fights. They’re both bad. It’s also interesting how generally people would say ethically good qualities on why they are attracted to someone but no, Ais is just like “yeah he’s an asshole, you can trust him just don’t listen to anything he says.” It’s hilarious. That also contrasts with Leander’s bio how he sees Vere as a damsel in distress cuz he’s delusional and has white knight syndrome, while Ais sees people who they are because he’s the black sheep “that have the clearest view of the world.” That’s probably why Vere loves him. Ais is the only person that sees his crappiness and still likes him. What a Chad :,)

MHIN

They reminds me of a friend I have. Quiet, standoffish, takes time to open up, a MASSIVE sweet tooth. I really want to pet their heads but I know they’re going to smack it away if I even try to touch. 😭😭

Mhin, the angsty teen. Considering Mhin’s bad temperament and similar curse thing with MC, I’m going to guess it’ll have major Beauty and the Beast vibes. Tempermental Mhin and MC who would turn them into a better person and teach them how to love themselves, with or without the curse.

The friendship with Mhin and Kuras make a lot of sense. Mhin feels at peace with Kuras cuz he’s a good listener and the only introvert in the friend group. Mhin needs someone that won’t try to annoy them like Leander or Vere. But I remember listening to the stream with the developers, and they were saying how terrible Kuras is and can’t wait for people to find out about it. Will Mhin feel betrayed when they find out the truth about Kuras? Do they already know? So many questions.

[dreamsy990]

so, re:chain of memories, huh?

warning! its been a little while since i played through recom, so the game isnt as fresh in my mind as some others. sorry for any innacuracies!

spoiler alert, this is my second favorite kingdom hearts game. at least of the ones i've played so far. i get that this isn't like. a POPULAR opinion but fuck you i have almost nothing but positives to say about it.

let's start with the easy stuff first. recom introduced a new card-based combat system. i cant compare it to the gba version, since i didn't play that, but i can say that for what its worth i DID enjoy the combat. recom is by far the hardest game so far (at least for me) and almost every boss took multiple days for me to beat, even with my hp maxed out. it took me a while to get the combat system, but id honestly love to replay the game now that i have a better understanding of how it works. the card system requires a lot of quick thinking and i get that it isnt everyones taste but its CERTAINLY mine. every fight is difficult and feels genuinely rewarding when you win. the movement, like kh1, can use a lot of work, but i wouldnt call it terrible. just kinda sluggish. i think my favorite boss fight was larxene. shes a pain in the ass but i love her.

i think riku's side dropping the deck building mechanic isnt terrible, but i wish i could reorder his deck at the very least. and the lack of healing cards is. not fun. basically any damage you take is permanent unless you HAPPEN to get mickey and its simply Not a fun time. im not very good at games okay.

i have a lot less to say about the worlds than the combat. they're definitely the worst aspect of the game, though. the idea of making worlds with cards is fine! it just leads to kind of repetitive world design. the stories are forgettable, so forgettable that i literally forgot them. and i could make a point about how thats the idea its a game all about forgetting things!! but honestly that just making excuses for it. the worlds couldve kept the idea of forgetting things without literally making them forgettable. i say this about every world, except for one. because DESTINY ISLANDS

destiny islands is just. so fucking good in recom. its the climax of both sora and rikus stories and i think theyre both amazing. id have to say i prefer rikus, soley because of the visual storytelling you get from his side of it, and thats not to say soras is bad at all. but something about zexion telling riku that its his fault his home was destroyed, as riku sees a version of himself turning into a literal monster? thats just good okay. its really good.

i ADORE the characters in this game too. everything we get from them is sooo good. it's the introduction to the organization and all of them (except lexaeus who did literally nothing) are a treat. axels my favorite ofc, but larxene is such a fun villain, you love to hate her. shes really the star of the org cast in this game. sure, axels may have said its his show now, but larxene stole the spotlight.

its namines introduction, too, and i love her. on one hand, shes just really kind. she wants a friend, she wants someone to talk to, she wants to meet sora. on the other, shes just a little bit fucked up actually. sure, shes honest with sora, but shes the tiniest little bit guilt trippy and i LOVE THAT. her response to sora saying he wants to get back his own memories and forget her is "oh okay. you want to remember your REAL friends, huh? theyre the ones who REALLY matter to you? yeah anyone would want that. no friends for namine i guess." like shes just a bit salty and we love that for her. i want slightly guilt tripping and salty namine back nomura.

but ofc one of my favorite new characters in this game HAS to be repliku. god i ADORE repliku. his hatred for riku is sooo fun and the way he fights with sora is great too. like in soras side i thought he was a neat villain but rikus side? hes amazing omfg. one of the only villains i liked in rikus story (sorry lexaeus, you werent good until days)

over all, this game certainly isnt everyones cup of tea, but its DEFINITELY mine. it's the game im most excited to replay at some point, mostly because of the amazing boss fights. 9/10. its got issues, but the story and characters are so good that i genuinely could not care less about like. most of them.

[bedtimegiraffe]

Nia has always been a badass- it just takes her a while to put it to use for her own sake

When you first meet Nia, she's running into town asking for help in her pretty, sparkly dress that looks like it would catch on every branch in the world. And she has a pretty low opinion of her fighting skills. Everything about the setup seems to suggest she's going to be a healer you have to focus on protecting.

And Nia's right, she isn't great at taking care of herself. But not for the reason she thinks! It's not that she's at all weak, physically, mentally, or magically.

I think it's because of her assumption that she can't fight. That she's fragile. And because she initially thinks she's no use in combat, the second Nia's in danger she just gives up and calls for help.

But the second someone else is in danger? Well, Nia doesn't hesitate. She starts destroying necromantic skeletons, because she's certainly not going to just stand by and let someone get hurt.

She'll do this as soon as the Temple of Ellara if you screw up. No hesitation, just smashing shadow hounds. Then she's shocked that it worked! Because it didn't occur to her she could help until she did it out of protective instinct.

It's devastating to Nia when Scholar Vash dies to the Shadow Court. She mourns him. She has a big, well deserved cry about it. But she doesn't stop there. Because other people are in trouble. She immediately goes, "No one else dies. I'm going to kick the Shadow Court's ass. You coming?"

The team's encouragement, especially MC's, slowly helps Nia see that she can be badass. That she is badass.

And that is how she saves the world. By becoming aware of what she was always capable of. MC has to remind Nia of all she loves and wants to protect in the world to help her resist the Dreadlord. Because that's easier for Nia than fighting for herself.

But it's Nia finding confidence and strength in who she is, separate from her commitment to others, that ultimately lets her save the day.

Basically, I love the story of this sweet priestess who thinks she's fragile, only to realize she's so powerful and determined she's disrupted the plans of a guy called the Dreadlord.

Screenshots from my hero, Neckrone Shen on youtube whose 4 playthroughs of Blades have saved me hours of replaying.

[bittersweetresilience]

Hello, hope you’re having a good day! I wanted to contribute to the Sentitwins week somehow, so I wrote a little something in my free time, but I am too shy to share this under an account anywhere. So I figured I could send it as an ask? I didn’t use a particular prompt but I started this on the 3rd, which fits well enough. I hope you and all the other wonderful people contributing enjoy?

-Mia (from Ao3 ^^)

———

Observation skills were survival skills, Félix intimately knew. Recognizing patterns: the silent pitter-patter, the heavy thumps—you had to know which footsteps belonged to whom. You had to see the anger simmering before it exploded, wrestle with the grief before it overcame you. Arms tensing, teeth clenching, brows furrowing.

Reading people. Emotion.

Which is why he should have known.

They crashed head-on, neither seeing the other until it was too late. Félix took a few graceless steps back in an attempt to not fall, letting go of his bag in the process. It dropped to the floor with a heavy thud.

A moment of silence passed between them as they both regained their balance. Félix took it as an opportunity to study Adrien. He seemed… Normal. Normal clothes, empty hands. Nothing that indicated where he might have been. The only thing out of the ordinary were his eyes. A bit dazed, but somber. Staring at him like he shouldn’t be here.

“Hello.” Félix said, raising an eyebrow.

“Hey.” Adrien mumbled back uneasily. He kept staring, eyes flitting between him and both ends of the hallway, eventually landing on the floor between them. Félix followed his gaze, found his bag still sitting on the floor. Before he could bend down to pick it up, like a switch had flipped in his mind, Adrien jumped, eyes wild, and beat him to it.

“Hey!” Adrien repeated, with his sudden new energy. “Sorry about that!”

“That’s… Alright.” It really was the least of his concerns at the moment. “Where have you been?”

“Working.” he said, his face scrunching up for a split second before smoothing back down. “With Father. Something came up apparently. So I’m working.”

Well, Félix thought, I highly doubt that’s what you had in mind when you snuck off.

“I’m not-“ started Adrien suddenly, fidgeting with the bag still in his hands. “I’m- I’m supposed to be down there still, actually. I was just- I just had to-“ Restless fingers. Pulling at the straps, opening and closing a zipper.

“You just had to what?” Félix asked, thoughts whirling around in his head, trying to figure out what was going on. When Adrien didn’t reply, he raised his head back up, only to lock eyes with him. His cousin was squinting slightly, searching his face for something.

“Take a break.” he finally said. Nonchalant, and clearly lying. But he must have found what he was looking for in him, because he looked relieved, his face free of the earlier tension.

“I’m glad I could catch you Félix. I thought you would have left by now.“ He smiled. Small, strained, but genuine.

And Félix should have left, but he knew Adrien would want a proper goodbye.

“Well,” he drawled, “London could afford to wait a bit. Are you-“

Before he could finish his sentence though, Uncle’s voice boomed from somewhere in the house.

Adrien stilled. The tension was back.

“I really have to get back to Father, Félix. And-“ he stopped, finally relinquishing the bag from his hold. “You have to go.”

With that, he was gone.

-

The way back to London was a blur. Félix kept replaying the conversation in his head, pushing it this way and that. Play and rewind, pick it apart, lay out the bones in the sun.

Where had Adrien really been before Uncle got to him? Because he had gotten caught sneaking, that was a sure thing. Somewhere in the mansion, but where? He did like to frequent the kitchen, but that didn’t explain his behaviour.

Duusu squirmed in his pocket. He wanted to talk to her, ask her opinion, but couldn’t.

So the bones lay, bleaching, not giving him the answers he sought after.

Being back in London necessitated no fanfare. He allowed himself a hug from his mum, promised her breakfast tomorrow, and headed to his room.

The door clicked shut, and he was finally alone. More or less. Duusu, who’d been restless the whole day, immediately darted out of his pocket and started pawing at his hands.

“Hey,” he greeted her, feeling one corner of his mouth curve up in fondness. “What is it?”

She didn’t answer. He frowned, unnerved by Duusu’s silence.

“Duusu. What is it?” Félix asked again, dropping his belongings to properly tend to her. But Duusu just stopped her movements, wide eyes flitting between him and the bag on the floor, her expression achingly familiar.

Wait.

Pick it apart. Rewind, and play.

How did he not-

And his cousin-

Had his cousin been afraid?

He dropped to his knees on the floor, hands on the bag, opening the zipper.

Nothing seemed out of place at first—clothes, books, electronics. But there, at the corner, he caught a metallic shine.

Would you look at that?

He could still fail.

It was a ring. At first, he almost didn’t recognize it; the geometry unfamiliar from never having held it, never having seen it outside of the context of his cousin’s finger. A sudden urge to laugh bubbled up in him, even as his hand gripped the ring tight enough to hurt.

He’d been fooled. Been sleight of handed too, to add insult to the injury. If he weren’t absolutely terrified, he might have felt proud.

Félix closed his eyes and took a moment to breathe. Now wasn’t the time to panic. When he opened them, he found the god of Destruction floating next to Duusu, watching him. Félix nodded once and slipped the ring on, flexing his hand to get used to the weight.

“Come on, then,” he said, his voice steady despite everything. “We’ve got to get going.”

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HI MIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i got so excited when i saw this ask i didn't even realize you had a tumblr HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS TO ME BELOVED OMG WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SURPRISE ON THIS DAY

my commentary below so other people can reblog this without having to read my rambling thoughts HAHAHAHAHA. love.

Observation skills were survival skills, Félix intimately knew. Recognizing patterns: the silent pitter-patter, the heavy thumps—you had to know which footsteps belonged to whom. You had to see the anger simmering before it exploded, wrestle with the grief before it overcame you.

YYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSS YOU GET IT AUGH YEAH THIS EXACTLY. félix... oh félix... his perception as a survival strategy so true

Which is why he should have known.

WHAT SHOULD HE HAVE KNOWN!!!!!!!!!!! i'm. TENSE

The only thing out of the ordinary were his eyes. A bit dazed, but somber. Staring at him like he shouldn’t be here.

HI ADRIEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...what happened.

“That’s… Alright.” It really was the least of his concerns at the moment. “Where have you been?”

AJFKAFJADKLJFKDSJFKJSDKFDS I LOVE HIM HAHAHAHAHA you got his voice exactly it's perfect kissing him

Restless fingers. Pulling at the straps, opening and closing a zipper.

YUM i love the way you use sentence fragments it feels like félix's sharp eyes flitting from detail to detail and analyzing them. plus it makes ME restless which is extremely exciting

“Take a break.” he finally said. Nonchalant, and clearly lying. But he must have found what he was looking for in him, because he looked relieved, his face free of the earlier tension.

ADRIEN WHAT'S GOING ON ARE YOU OKAY 🥺

And Félix should have left, but he knew Adrien would want a proper goodbye.

FELIX 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“I really have to get back to Father, Félix. And-“ he stopped, finally relinquishing the bag from his hold. “You have to go.” With that, he was gone.

AAAUUUUGHH OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! relinquishing the bag like he relinquishes félix... i'm on the floor. SENTITWINS 😭😭😭

Play and rewind, pick it apart, lay out the bones in the sun.

i need to eat this sentence thank you for enriching my brain

Being back in London necessitated no fanfare. He allowed himself a hug from his mum, promised her breakfast tomorrow, and headed to his room.

LOVE THIS i'm biting this félix and amélie crumb pspspspsps hiiiiii my queen... félix you mama's boy.

But Duusu just stopped her movements, wide eyes flitting between him and the bag on the floor, her expression achingly familiar.

that 'achingly familiar' GOT me

Had his cousin been afraid?

OHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SLEIGHT OF HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO SO CLEVER OMG I DIDN'T NOTICE AT ALL I'M EXPERIENCING THE EXACT SAME EMOTIONS AS FELIX

Félix closed his eyes and took a moment to breathe. Now wasn’t the time to panic.

SHAKING HIM AND HIS LOGICAL EMOTIONALLY UNFULFILLED BRAIN

Félix nodded once and slipped the ring on, flexing his hand to get used to the weight.

BLACK CAT FELIX!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY <333333333

i'm obsessed with this AUGH what a fantastic contribution!!!!!!! i'll send it to the gang posthaste and i'm sure everyone would LOVE to comment on ao3 but there's never any pressure hope you're having the MOST wonderful day as well and thank you for sharing with me <333333

[co-mixed]

Magneto was...

X-Men ‘97 has already become sort of a cultural phenomenon. I think it’s fair to say even outside of our cozy comics bubble. But the show has given so much to so many. Not for a single second it shies away from what the X-men are truly about and its social commentary avoids ambiguity. 

But the thought that’s been bugging me for years now is of course “Magneto was right” or rather, the question of whether he indeed was. 

Bear with me, because I’m completely throwing away all plans or structure for this text, it’s not a clever article, it’s just my interpreting process in which I’m dissecting my thoughts on the concept. 

The phrase itself has been reimagined in the show. Val Cooper says this phrase about the fear and hate that humans will never stop experiencing and expressing toward mutants. It’s about them never changing their ways to accommodate others, it’s about human nature. And while we clearly see that it’s not entirely true and some are actively working to change that, at its core, it remains a true and sad reflection of what we see from the most powerful elites that control public opinion and ultimately, the world. 

It’s funny to me that Val, the same person who got in bed with Bastion and Sinister, was the one to spell it out. Both she and Trask state that they never expected a genocidal catastrophe of Genoshan level and frankly, I find it unbelievable. You knew you were dealing with a fanatical maniac. You knew that this is a possibility and you certainly had the same goal. You wanted to do it with clean hands and you didn’t want to see the result. You wanted mutants to be killed in alleys one by one. It’s all the same thing. 

And this actually conveniently brings me to Remender’s X-Force and Dark Beast’s homeworld where the war had been won by mutants and humans were the ones hunted and killed. As soon as the opportunity presented itself, humans made a call to replay the three most famous words uttered by Wanda.

Meanwhile, the most prominent example of how this phrase has been interpreted before is  Quentin Quire. In his young and radicalized view, Magneto was right about both the ends and the means. All he saw was violence and he chose to respond in kind (but not in kindness.) 

The show stepped away from the storyline that played out in the comics (and I absolutely love that btw). But Magneto in that story was not sympathetic. The things we know about him by now are not all flattering, especially the way he turns on his own if they stand in his way and ask him to rethink and reevaluate his position. 

Magneto is often portrayed as a dictator, like most villains. And like most well-written villains, he has a cause that he believes in fanatically which, let’s be honest, after him receiving a backstory, made all the more sense and drove compassion. But he will always go too far. 

But let’s again go back to X-Men ‘97. What happened when Magneto turned off… everything. Everything from life support - off, nuclear plants - off, trains, planes, and ships, all have to travel blindly if at all. Chaos, obviously. But while that brings in casualties, was that his intention? Because simultaneously, he saved thousands if not more of mutants. They were hunted by prime sentinels right that moment and remember, not all mutants are X-men or even have an active fighting power. So while he took away something humans needed desperately, but he saved every mutant in mortal danger. So should he have done that? 

I don’t know how to answer that. If I hadn’t thought about that before (and I’m ashamed to admit that) now, after Ep.9 it’s clear that the Earth can’t handle the blackout, so Magneto simply decided to pick up mutants he likes and sod off on his newly (and I’m pretty sure poorly) built asteroid into his Utopia. All while everyone else is left to rot. 

Not that heroic, huh?

And then there is Charles. Magneto’s way is impossible to review without Charles’s on the other scale pan. And damn, nothing shakes up Charles’s idealism like time and age. We do actually live in an era where his view has become outdated. I recently called Charles a pick-me mutant, I stand by that statement. He wants to be liked and there are so many things he overlooks and ignores. His goal is to have mutants serve for approval. This isn’t equality and this isn’t being proud of who you are. He can live knowing that some of them live in sewers, he accepts that as their choice. Again, I say that a lot, but Charles was very well depicted in X-Men The Dark Phoenix. Regardless of what you think about the movie, they showed Charles in all his glory, risking the lives of his students who hang on his every word, to score some points with humans. 

My only regret is that writers never take it far enough and make it final. Yeah, no I know he died and came back, who hasn’t (what’s up, Jean?) But let’s be real, Charles could easily fully retire and stop attempting to bring his vision to life. It doesn’t work. 

When we look at the comics, the hybrid version Magneto+Charles didn’t exactly work either. And that’s in part due to Moira’s betrayal, some writers’ magic, and the fundamentally incorrect political approach. I already wrote sheets and sheets about that. But it would’ve failed either way because we can’t have nice things i.e. a successful mutant nation won’t go well with bigots. And given clever public opinion manipulation, almost anyone can become a bigot. It won’t be allowed to exist, because they would still be expected to step back and play nice and limit themselves to avoid upsetting anyone. 

Now that I mentioned Moira, I remember the “race traitor” thrown by Magneto at Charles. Honestly, both are guilty of that. Charles for the reasons I stated above and Magneto, for continuously representing mutants as a danger to everyone. 

That’s a lot of words and thoughts that I had to dig through to finally ask the question, was Magneto right? And if he was, what was he right about? Right is really an idealistic concept in and of its own. So I’d say his actions in that moment were justifiable. As much as I want to stand with heroes and condemn him, in a post-Genosha world, I can’t. He asked them to “not make him let them down”  and that’s exactly what they did. Exactly, because some of them knew what they were getting into, I also mentioned that above. 

Is his view of humans right? Yes, without a question. It's awful but it's true. They'd do it again and again. And they will hide their eyes and claim they didn't know.

I will gladly talk about the whole season after the season ends but right now I’m honestly just happy to come to some personal conclusion. I’m not sure I can take this opinion and apply it to the real world because that would require a whole other conversation with myself.

[lia-loves-youu]

A little more ~ Seonghwa x Reader

Notes (please read): So hello y’all<33 This is my first fanfic AND English is not my first language, so I really hope it won’t be too bad helpp- It’s based on “A Little More” by Lim Jisoo, please listen to it, it’s such an underrated song and I’ve been listening to it soo much lately :> I’ll try to sneak a few lyrics in, so if you listen to the song while/before reading, you can maybe hear the lyrics replay in your head (I’ll most likely change them up a bit so they don’t sound so weird tho)<3 Also, if you like this, please try to boost it so I can gain reach a bit faster, I’m really afraid that this will flop TvT I’ll also reply to every comment, so if you have something to say, please go ahead<33

pairing: Park Seonghwa (Ateez) x fem! reader

warnings: fluff so teeth rotting, it has you ready for a dentist visit, pretty cheesy, swearing, toxic friends (no physical harm), reader is sometimes talking to herself, everything goes pretty fast

tropes: love at first note, (implied) one true love

word count: 3512

summary: Seonghwa is out with his friends for a fun karaoke night, but when he returns from the toilet, he walks by a room out of which a beautiful song, well, rather a beautiful voice comes and fills his whole body (let’s just ignore that these rooms should be soundproof). Not finding the courage to ask the dark silhouette standing in the karaoke room for the song name, he writes a message on a tissue and slides it under the door.

Here’s the link for the song again<3

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'~'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Fast steps fill the hallway. The dark haired man is searching for the karaoke room he and his friends booked, but suddenly he slows down and finds himself standing in front of a door. It’s not the one to the room his friends are in, but the intriguing voice which makes its way to his ears seems to stop him. His curious eyes are searching through the darkness of the room to finally see the silhouette of a girl standing in front of the karaoke machine, her back turned towards Seonghwa. Almost in a trance, he listens to the relaxing music complimenting your voice perfectly. Should he ask you for the song name? He wishes he could, but he can’t find the courage to knock on the door in front of him and interrupt you. His eyes proceed to search for any other way to ask for the song, or even your name, and luck seems to be on his side today. Quickly grabbing a tissue and a pen - which some staff member probably dropped as they were in a hurry - he scribbles a few sentences on the fabric. After sliding it through the small gap under the door, he quickly stands up and continues on his way back to his friends, the melody not leaving his head.

~

“No fucking way.” “Yes I knowww, I’m sosososo sorry again! We’ll make it up to you next time, yeah? Really!” Not even a second later the call ends. You stare at the now dark phone screen, laughing and huffing in disbelief. Your “friends” just cancelled your plans. Again. You already rented the karaoke room for three hours for you and your friends and just finished with the first song so you can warm your voice up a bit, but it looks like your friends had better plans. You wouldn’t be so disappointed if this was the first time, if you weren’t paying with your own money and if this wasn’t one of the most expensive karaoke places your friends had picked without even asking about your opinion. But unfortunately that’s the case.

Before the tears could even begin to fill your eyes, you already grab your stuff and storm to the door. Almost reaching the door handle, you suddenly slip and fall, while a short scream exits your mouth. “Ouch, what the-“, you look down to your and stop mid sentence, noticing the item which made your body meet the floor so painfully. You reach for the small tissue and turn on your phone’s flashlight to make words written in a neat and elegant handwriting out:

Your voice is so pretty and unique, could you please tell me which song you were singing? I mean the one with the calming melody

Blinking dumbfounded, you reread the note. “Telling them which song I was singing-? How am I supposed to do that, no name, no telephone number. At least I only sang one song, so I know which one they mean”, you murmur. After reading the note a third time, a smile slowly creeps onto your lips. It’s not the fact that you don’t know who this wrote, but rather how they complimented you. It clears your bad mood up a bit and you feel the need to tell them the song name, however that’s supposed to work.

“What am I supposed to doooo”, you let yourself sink into your sheets, talking to none other than yourself. You would’ve called one of your super cool friends, but after the countless instagram stories they had posted, dancing and drinking in some pub after having to sadly call your plans off again, you quickly gave up on the idea. At this point you would’ve already confronted them, but considering that they were the only people you talk to in and outside of school, you’re too afraid to be blamed and left out even more, loosing all the remaining social contacts you try so desperately to keep.

Suddenly a thought crosses your mind. It might seem a bit unlikely to happen, but what if the ominous person shows up at the karaoke place tomorrow too? You turn around, now lying on your back and sigh: “It’s a try worth, right? Which room did I have today? 127? 143? NONO it was definitely 119.” You don’t even know why you’re so touched by this stupid little message, but the thought of having someone you really share something with (unlike your friends) just doesn’t plan to leave your mind anytime soon.

~

The next day at school passes regularly, excluding how you try to avoid your friend group, walking through hallways they probably never ever seen before, skipping lunch and keeping your head down, hoping that they won’t even try to look for you. Luckily you also caught the first bus after school ended, so there are almost no people you’re already familiar with. A relived sigh exiting your lips you drop on an empty seat and close your eyes, already worried about the next day.

“Excuse me? Could I please rent room 119?” You smile awkwardly, recognising the receptionist from yesterday. He looks at you hesitantly, you can almost hear him ask if you will also leave two and a half hours early and without the three people which supposedly should’ve joined you, but he doesn’t. Instead he smiles and tells you that the room is already taken. “Oh please wait, he reserved for two people, you had the room yesterday too right?” Now that he said it so blunt your cheeks start to light up. You mumble a little yes and try to look as unaffected as possible, which quickly becomes irrelevant after realising the boy, as you just found out, probably reserved for the both of you and that he’s waiting in exactly the room you had, like he knew you’d think the same way as him. “Uhm yes?” “Great, follow me please- Or can you find the room again?” Politely declining, you turn around and quickly walk towards the door, trying to suppress a wide smile from your lips.

“Ahhh what should I say to him noww?” You nervously tap your foot on the ground and stare holes into the door. Shaking your head and after taking a deep breath you swing the door open, just for the air to be knocked out of your lungs again: The boy, who’s just sitting on the couch, if without doubt the most gorgeous and elegant person you’ve ever laid your eyes on. “Oh, so you must be the girl from yesterday?” “…” “Are… you alright?” Suddenly awaking from your trance, you blink and start to splutter a bit: “Ehh yeah- Yes that’s me, uhm my name is yn, yours?” He starts smiling - which makes your heart bounce and cheeks uncontrollably light up - and tells you his name in return. ‘Park Seonghwa’, a world stopping beauty with a pretty name, if his personality’s as good as the rest, you’re ready to sign him up for marriage on the spot. Not being able to stop smiling, you sit down beside him after asking for his approval and start a little conversation.

At first it was a bit awkward of course, but after you found a good topic, you both loosen up and seem like you won’t be able to stop talking and laughing together, like you’ve been friends for years. The hours vanish like seconds and neither of you realise how late it has gotten.

A sudden knock stops you from continuing your rant about people who chew with their mouth open, and Seonghwa takes a glance at the clock. „Oh shit we were supposed to get out of here like half a hour ago!“ After processing what he just said, you quickly get up, grab your stuff and sprint to the door, the tall boy right behind you. Bowing and excusing yourself you walk past the staff member and out of the building.

“Oh god I’m so sorry, I didn’t look at the time.“ You turn and look at the cute apologetic look on his face. Not being able to prevent it, you chuckle and tell him that it’s alright. His face instantly relaxes and he laughs with you. „Do you want me to walk you home? It’s already so dark and I’m a bit worried about you“, he offers sweetly. „I have to go by bus, I really don’t want you to take a detour just because of me.“ „Oh! I have to go by bus too! We can at least walk to the station together, if we don’t even have too take the same bus!” ‘If he doesn’t stop smiling so cutely like that I’m seriously going to cry’ Instead of actually saying what you just thought, you return his little grin and just nod.

The walk is a bit calmer and a comfortable silence encases the both of you (I hope I can say it like that?) “Soo which bus do you have to take?” You tell him an he starts to smile, telling you he has to take the same one - which he in fact doesn’t, but the thought of you being alone in the dark has him feeling a bit off. If he would feel like that about other people too? Probably, but his feelings and thought are also oddly different when he’s with you.

Chitchatting a bit about this and that, the bus arrives and you continue your conversation after sitting down.

“Oh, I have to get off at the next stop”, you pout a bit and watch a frown appear on his face as those words leave your lips. “Do you really don’t want me to walk you home?” You try to show him the warmest and most assuring smile you have and tell him how your house is only two minutes away from the stop, which seems to calm him down. “Ah by the way! I forgot to tell you the song name, it’s-“ “No stop, tell me next time okay?”, he interrupts you swiftly. “Next time?” “If you’re willing to give me one?” You chuckle: “Are you trying to flirt with me?” “Maybe?” You gently, jokingly punch his chest and start to already see your station in the distance. “Then I guess you better take my phone number now before I have to get off.” He pulls his phone out and opens it, already showing “add a new contact” on the screen, like he waited for you to give him your number. After you quickly filled the boxes in, you return the phone to him and stand up. “Text me then!”, you grin and walk out of the already opened doors.

The grin doesn’t leave your face until you drift away in the warm embrace of your bed, neither does the one on Seonghwa’s lips, even though he has to drive the whole way back and further now.

~

The days where you don’t see your sweet new friend feel endless, standing up at ungodly times, classes are even more boring, spending every damn break on the school’s roof to avoid your other friends, going home, doing the homework, eating, studying, sleeping and everything repeats again. Luckily there was only one day where you didn’t get to meet up. You only meet for lunch because school days are too busy, but today is Friday, which makes you unusually happy. Of course you’re always excited for Fridays, but this time it just feels more special.

You grin relieved, finally throwing your jacket off and jumping on the couch.

Hwa [2:47]

Are you free today?

Do you wanna meet up at my place? I don’t wanna go out to our cafe today :(

Your grin grows even wider.

Me [2:47]

Yeah ofc!! Do you live far from me? Can I go there by bike?

You don’t even wait for an answer before you already run towards your wardrobe, searching for your favourite outfit.

Hwa [2:49]

I’ll just send you the location

Should I pick you up tho?

| location attached |

You really can’t stop smiling like crazy and you also can’t tell why it makes you so happy that he asked if he should pick you up. “He’s so gentle and caring… Why didn’t I meet more people like him? Life would’ve been so much easier if I had some real friends- I should really stop thinking about them. I should rather ask how I deserved to meet Hwa. Okay, which hairstyle do I go for tho?”

After you’re done with your outfit and everything, you get your stuff together and pull your shoes on.

Me [3:00]

Nono I’ll just go by bus, don’t worry :D

“…Huh? That’s definitely not how he got home last time, I was the first one to leave and we took the same bus. Ahh I shouldn’t worry about it now as long as I’ll arrive at his home”, you mumble, looking at the route while waiting at the station. Just as the bus stops, “A little more” starts to play in your earphones, making you smile subconsciously. ‘Ahh I still didn’t tell Hwa the song name, the week was just so busy I forgot about it… I really have to do it today.‘

Just as you took the first ten steps out of the bus, your whole body stops moving, your hands drop and everything starts to turn, but not the people in front of you. “Ohh if that isn’t our sweet, dearest little yn. Do you maybe want to… I don’t know, apologise? Why are you not answering our messages and leaving us alone in the breaks? Girl this is literally so annoying, you know?“

You don’t move, neither do you speak, which visibly makes the girl in front of you angry. ”So, listen you stupid fucking-“

“Uhm, excuse me please”, the group turns around, moving aside for Seonghwa to walk towards you and ask with a cute little smile, “Do we wanna go in now? I was kinda worried you might wouldn’t find my apartment, so I’m her now.” You’re still not able to answer, but your friend already starts to talk again: “Oh my god who are you?” She eyes him up and down and grins stupidly. “So you’re friends with yn? Why didn’t you introduce us before? Don’t keep your handsome friends to yourself yn, are you single by the way, mr. handsome? I’m free this weekend by the way hihi.” Disgustedly raising his eyebrow at this horrible attempt to flirt, he looks down at your face, which finally shows some type of reaction. “If you excuse me-“, Seonghwa says still softly and gently grabs your hand, guiding you through the group and quickly to a building. “Wait, you forgot to give me your number!” Rolling his eyes he closes the door which he just opened for you both and walks to an elevator.

The silence is slightly awkward, but addressing the elephant in the room right now would’ve made it worse.

“You can leave your shoes and jacket here, do you want a glass of water?” You shake your head and smile at him, which he returns and your cheeks warm up. His smile always makes you feel all fuzzy inside, which is in fact not the greatest sign, falling in love with the only person you have right now was definitely not on your bucket list for this year. “Do you want to watch a movie with me? I think I still have popcorn left! Wait, let me see real quick.” As he walks away, he makes little happy jumps which results in him looks even more adorable than he always is. Your checks turn even redder and you’re sure you’ll never recover from this while slowly following him.

Seonghwa is already rummaging through a cabinet when you reach the kitchen, a few strands of his long black hair falling on his concentrated face, making you chuckle quietly. He looks up at you, his doe eyes making your legs weak, and smirks: “God you’re red, are you fine? I found the popcorn by the way, do you want it sweet or salty?” You clear your throat, lowering your head and telling him your preference. Still laughing he continues.

“Okayy it should be ready in 15 minutes, let’s pick out the movie now.“ You follow him to the living room, where he sits down on the couch and starts to scroll through Netflix. After you just stood there for a few seconds he turns his gaze to you and pouts, which makes your face burn again. “Why aren’t you sitting down? Are you really okay-? I’m starting to get worried, I should measure your temperature.” You wanted to stop him, but it was already too late as he gets up and suddenly presses his forehead against yours. “Uhmm I’m pretty sure you don’t measure temperature like that”, you manage to mutter, but he just laughs and lets his head fall from your forehead onto your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you and giving you the warmest hug in forever. It feels special and caring, not like you didn’t expect that his hugs were like this or if you weren’t hoping to get one of them every single day, but the way his hands rest on your back and caress you so gently makes your body long for him more and more.

After standing like this for several seconds, Seonghwa slowly gets away from you, hesitantly asking: “Do you think you could… You know, tell me about who these people were and what they did to you? It’s nagging me since I saw your horrified face back then.” You look at his worried expression but don’t answer.

“I know it’s hard to trust me, that’s alright, considering how we don’t know each other for that long yet. I’ll wait for you, tell me when you’re ready, okay? I’m here with open arms.” You can’t help but chuckle, making Seonghwa’s gorgeous face clear up. “Okay okay Hwa, I’ll tell you. Let’s sit down though, if that’s alright.” He nods and wraps a blanket around you after you’ve made yourself comfortable on the pillowy couch.

You really try to hold the tears back while telling him anything in detail, but bringing all the memories and emotions back is just too much. Usually you don’t cry that easily and definitely not in presence of other people, but all the denied feelings break down on you. You lower your head, hoping the man in front of you wouldn’t notice, but of course he does anyways. Slowly bringing his soft hand up to your face, he swipes your tears away and strokes your cheek: “Don’t worry and please don’t cry, I guess you at least have me now, right? Shhh please don’t cry, c’mere.” Carefully skidding over to you he pulls you in another hug, this time it’s even harder for you to not completely loose yourself in his embrace.

As less tears drop on his neck and your muffled sobs get quieter, he assures: “I’ll be your best friend. I’ll always be there for you and never do such things as your stupid little ex-friends. I’ll be everything you ever wanted and won’t hesitate to hold your hand.”

You burry your head deeper in the crook of his neck and take all your courage together: “I don’t want you to be my best friend”, Seonghwa’s body tenses up and you notice a quiet “oh” from above you, “I want you to be more than that.” You sit up, looking at Seonghwa’s sweet eyes. “I know this all happened way too fast, but I couldn’t hold myself, you’re just too… perfect. I never had someone like you and after being alone for so long, you were just like a savior. I can’t really explain what I feel, but I hope you understand. I’m always on top of the world, because of you. All those little ‘dates’ just made me realise how important you already are for me. Seonghwa, I love you, I’m sorry.”

Silence. You don’t look at him anymore, gaze directed on your hands before your crossed legs. You can feel that you tear up again, so you press your eyes shut.

You suddenly feel hands on yours, which kind of startles you. “Please look at me, yn.” Sullenly you look up to meet his deep, dark eyes. “I know what you mean and feel. And I feel the same way. I think of you so often and my day is just not complete without having some kind of conversation with you, please, stay by my side. Forever. And come closer please, I want to hug you again.”

You two spend the rest of the day with eating the popcorn and watching Star Wars, Seonghwa also proudly showed you his Lego collection and cuddled with you until you both were about to drift into sleep. “Oh, by the way, the song I sung was ‘A little more’ by Lim Jisoo”, you manage to mutter before falling asleep.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'~'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Please don’t kill me if this was shit<3

[thecourtsknight]

So. Side Order, huh?

I've been chewing on my thoughts over this for a good few days now. Want to spit them out somewhere. Vague-ish spoilers ahead.

I want to preface this with saying that I love Splatoon, I've been playing it since 1, really dropped off near the end of 2. Nintendo made Octo Expansion for me, they released it on my birthday and I love it so fucking much.

Side Order is fun, but lacking criminally in content.

You can argue Roguelites are like this in general, its the core princible to replay them over and over again and as someone who enjoys Roguelites, I agree!

However, a key thing that good roguelites do is continously give you a reason to keep playing- whether that be addictive gameplay or, usually, good story and lacing that in with difficulty that becomes the players goal to lessen- It rewards the player for being curious, experimental and above all else persistant.

I am fully aware that difficulty, due to Splatoon's target audience, in something like a roguelite was never going to be an easy thing to balance let alone pull off but having the main plot resolve itself once you hit the top of the tower was, in my opinion, the first of its blunders.

I feel as if the Splatoon developers know how much the lore and worldbuilding of these games matter to players. Side Order was advertised in very similar veins to Octo Expansion. The trailers had mystery and intrigue with clear connections to the well recieved and loved Octo Expansion to the point of having the same protagonist among other simularities.

They were clearly teasing this to be a successor of SOME capacity to Octo Expansion. And even as I went into this expecting it to be nothing like OE in terms of it's personal weight, I wasn't expecting something so short.

Classically, in roguelites that focus on story, you would gain story beats the more you replay. And techincally you gain this with the keys gathered from each fully cleared palette. But usually your story rewards in roguelites come from clearing or attempting runs and rewards:

With Side Order's story being resolved the MOMENT you step onto floor 30 with no real context unless you've intentionally avoided the top or have genuinely been slowed by its difficult (which I assume is what the devs intended) makes it's climax feel fast paced and lackluster- undeserved, even.

And, yes, I am fully aware that when you climb the tower agani after the credits role, you begin gain more lore about whats going on. But with the actual, main threat neutralized in every possible way it feels as if this lore should've been offered to us much sooner and much more spread out for a better pay off.

It's story feels like its being told out of order and, in my personal opinion, the themes and actual telling methods of Side Order we're a largely missed opportunity to tell something a bit more indepth. Climbing a tower that gives you essentially nothing until you reach floor 30 (which in my experience takes about 35-40 minutes) only to recieve about two scentences of lore is incredibly tiring and feels dissastifying when the main plot is already over.

It's lack of variation in level design, tasks and chips doesn't help with the climb each time if you're looking for the lore or just to 100% either. And you can argue this is a roguelite problem, but Splatoon's scenario's for a tower climb are pitifully small and you will start to seem repeat almost immediatly on your second or third run.

I also feel like it relies far too heavily on the player knowing and caring about Octo Expansion. I'm not saying that I think it was a bad idea to have most of what's going on in Side Order happening because of Octo Expansion's events. Hell, I was happy when they were very blatently showing this early on.

But it does very little with its ties to Octo Expansion, making Side Order feel like its constantly struggling to be its own thing away from the original DLC.

I think I can almost see what they wanted to go for here, and its frustrating, it felt close to something at least telling a decent story.

Every single little beat I've gotten has helped me understand more and more what they were going for, but since the main conflict is already resolved I find it hard to be excited and more frustrated that I wasn't given these during my initial playthrough.

I feel as though the roguelite formula was an interesting idea that they polished the best of their ability and to make work both for casual and experience players- but I think thats where the problem comes in.

With Side Order being the same price as Octo Expansion and offering very little in terms of replayability and most especially for me, story, the whole thing ends up feeling like a muddled mess that would've worked better had the roguelite aspect perhaps been dropped in general for a general tower climb.

Missed opportunies feel like they decorate Side Order in a way that leaves me fairly disappointed.

I think, overall, Side Order is a fun time that can be enjoyed but the way it was implimented into the gameplay formula was largely a mistake, especially coupled with the marketing of this being something more indepth with its story when it's not, and I can absolutely understand why I'm seeing a lot of disappointment for it.

[ishouldgetadiary]

there are definitely cleverer people to discuss this at length than me and there are probably people who already have and come to the same or better conclusions, but i do just want to say that an aspect of kim kitsuragi i can't get over is his disconnect from being seolite (outside of the racism). i don't know, it's very important to have asian characters with strong cultural ties who have that culture accurately expressed through their character/stories and i do love those characters, but it's somewhat rarer to see the alternative (at least, when race and culture is acknowledged at all), let alone it being a point of pride for them, the same way it is for kim. all of this to say, i feel haunted by what he says when you ask him about his heritage.

i didnt ask him about it on my first run (because i found the way the question is initially asked to be kinda rude and i was afraid of if it'd make him like me less, lol) but i did in my current replay and the way he dances around the topic, 'i'm half seolite, well technically, my parents were both quarter, i guess you could also say im quarter, i don't know the language or culture and i've only lived in revachol', it fucks me up so bad! first is how you can tell it's mostly a defensive tactic for him, at least when he starts the rant— somebody asks about the race thing? deflect. i'm only half. i don't even know the language. i'm not one of those seolites. second is how he loosens into pride when he realises/remembers that harry isn't asking to be racist, he is genuinely having trouble remembering that the concept of race exists, but also because it lets kim kinda show that it is something to be prideful about in revachol.

dont get me wrong— i think kim kitsuragi is genuinely proud of being as revacholian as anyone else. he loves revachol. i dont think he’d go along with harry so easily on random side quests or have opinions on if harry helps or hinders the people of martinaise if he actually didnt care. i dont even know he’d still be a cop or (more accurately) be one for as long as he has been, especially when he’s spent most of it as a juvie officer, if he didnt believe in revachol. it’s people, what it is, and what the country could be. people like to take his position as a police officer as just his way of feeling a sense of power in a post revolutionary (khm. and racist) world that has never had the space for him or his dreams, but kim is more three dimensional than that. ESPECIALLY when there are ways that being a cop gives him less power than regular citizens in revachol. he likes, wants, and believes in both, and that’s not necessarily hypocritical. in the same way, i dont think it’s at all hypocritical that his pride is rooted in both his love for revachol AND the way white supremacy has impacted him. because yk, when he’s proud about his lack of connection to his heritage, it’s not just his love for revachol speaking, it’s also the disdain that we, the player, hear for seolite people (at least what we hear from or related to kim).

that all being said, i dont consider that to be a terribly complex thought at all— real life people are complicated and multifaceted, so kim kitsuragi is written to also be complicated and multifaceted. in disco elysium, the writers are never worried about presenting the world in a better or worse way than it already is. yes, it is definitely a heightened version of our reality, but it also presents everything as direct as possible. case example would be the racist lorry driver in what he says versus how he’s presented. in that very first interaction when kim confronts him and harry catches up on what just happened, he denies and hides in the same way a lot of people deny and hide that they are being racist, but you, the player, cannot avoid or pretend he isnt being racist, because it is literally in his name. you are not given the grace of real life where there is the option of either the benefit of the doubt or genuinely questioning your own assessment. despite all of that, ultimately, it is still haunting for that early kim question to be so reminiscent of what i see in real life.

in the example of a shorter ramble, kim's own ramble weirdly reminds me of myself, but in the opposite direction. i very easily and quickly tumble into word vomit and over-detail my heritage just to make it make sense that my name isnt white. and i'm not gonna boohoo over my own personal situation at all when i know i benefit from white supremacy, but i hate that ultimately, white supremacy ‘won’ when it comes to 'me'. because just like kim kitsuragi, i don't know a language that isn't english, i dont know a different culture, and i've only lived in my predominantly white country.

but a more apt comparison is my own father. a man who’s internalised shame cant even allow him to comprehend why somebody white would want a tan, because he’s always been at least a little tan, and that’s part of what ‘clocks’ him as not fully white, who does try to connect with his mother’s culture, but just kind of ended up with only odd bits and pieces of it and the language, because it was something that would’ve just made life harder than it should be, and despite everything, he’ll still do things like dunk on chinese people. there may be more to say, but you get the gist. and yet somehow none of it has quite reaches the point where he can recognise it in himself. because he knows racism and white supremacy is bad and he’s obviously against it, but it is hard to acknowledge that it is greater than just the lorry drivers and measureheads of the world. because we live with the consequences and the rot of white supremacy within us. assimilation has done it's job to it's logical conclusion.

… and yet it is a limbo, and a hollow one at that. regardless of how white i am, i still dont fully relate to my fully white peers, because there are ways in which i dont share in their accepted shared experiences. my father has never felt accepted in either club, ‘too japanese for white australians and too australian for japanese people’ (can you believe that disco elysium was almost banned from my country)! our fully white peers will never know what it’s like to be able to look at the face of a complete stranger of a different race and see family. to see their aunts, or grandparents, or parents.

but kim kitsuragi talks of that limbo with pride. he may never feel a true sense of community with either white people or other seolites, and this is something his brain seems to choose not to fully acknowledge, even though he definitely feels it. and really, it’s haunting in the same way i find both my father’s and my involvement in society disconcerting. the truth that, in spite of where white supremacy and assimilation can get you, you will never truly achieve the community or peace of mind there is in ignorance.

despite all that, on a brighter note, i do think that in terms of what kim truly likes harry for and what gains his trust in him is the choice for harry to be that sense of community he needs. (if i am remembering right) kim will only really trust you if you chose to defend him from the several racists you’ll encounter and make jokes at their expense with him, because it’s highly HIGHLY unlikely that barely anybody goes through that effort for him. even when it’s pretty clear that the writers were going for humorous ‘haha, white guy trying his best to be an ally’ dialogue choices, kim himself doesnt really show that he finds it obnoxious or unwanted, it’s genuinely something he would rarely get other rcm members even though that is the community he’s definitely and wholly part of.

anyways i have no idea if this post made any sense or if im really wrong (i could be!) because it came from a more personal place than maybe typical character analysis but whatever

[tenebrius-excellium]

I don’t know how this narrative principle is properly called in English but today I finished reading an academic paper on “backend vs. frontend motivation” in stories and I am nerding off big-time.

One of the most important elements of modern media to me, especially in film, is for it to be motivated from the ‘front’, that means from the beginning. You gotta have a starting conflict so well fleshed out that it justifies all which comes next in a domino chain of such bulletproof logical consequence that it cannot be questioned until it inevitably culminates in the grand, satisfying finish. Only then is an ending good and only then can it be truly enjoyable.

The best example of which that remains to this day is How To Train Your Dragon.

In my opinion this movie leaves no room for a different ending. Were it to be replayed thousands and thousands of times, it would always unfold the same way. It’s that solid. Solid in its core conflict, in its character designs, in its stakes. It would choose to happen the exact same way again every time. Everything is in-universe consistent and character-consistent to a T. I believe luck, or chance, played a role in the creation of this movie because humanity is just not able to think up something as perfect as this on purpose.

While the sequels are - generally speaking - good, the failure to recreate the artistic mastery of the first movie can be seen in them. Glimpses of the original magic do appear more often than I had feared, which pleasantly surprised me for both the second and the third movie. However, both sequels have obvious weak points. The first movie has none. None. It’s somehow flawless.

I attribute its success to strong frontend motivation. There is an age-old war yet it threatens the current generation’s survival as acutely as it did on the first day. The People are tired and it’s either the annihilation of the enemy or resigning themselves to poverty and death. Berk is backed into a strategic corner and while Stoick is far from giving up, he doesn’t know where to take fresh ideas from. The absurd third possibility of talking peace with the dragons comes from the innocence of a child human and a child dragon. The grown-ups couldn’t have done it, yet so unexpectedly balance is achieved. It’s brilliant.

Httyd1: Shitty war -> needs to end (peacefully if possible, because the vikings are not bad people...but Stoick doesn’t see hope). + DRAGONS.

Httyd2: Hiccup Will Be Chief, therefore let’s throw some growth at him and kill off Stoick so that the two won’t fight about how to run the village later (because that would be in their characters).

Httyd3: The Dragons Will Leave, therefore let’s create an artificial villain, and a convenient dragon girlfriend, and make Toothless ooc to achieve it.

See, Httyd gradually declines into using backend motivation and that’s why the third movie works even less than the second. At least Httyd2 had a strong middle, that is, from Flying With Mother til Hiccup starts talking to Drago. Don’t make the mistake of buying into the rest: Nowhere was the topic of Hiccup becoming Chief even a thing before Httyd2. Also, Hiccup behaved ooc with his sole focus on dragons (at the so-uncaring-that-it-must-be-intentional expense of humans) and the no-kill rule. And Stoick died not from a plasma blast, but for plot convenience.

The third movie, in turn, gave Hiccup his original character back and bestowed a glow-up onto him and Astrid and their relationship, but at the cost of Toothless’ personality and backstory... and the general in-universe logic, such as Grimmel’s hollow arc (stressing his intelligence when he’s clearly NOT). You see, both movies have their strengths, but it just doesn’t work when the creators think up the ending first and are willing to bend everything else, however painfully, to achieve exactly that desired ending.

The newest marvel of frontend motivation done right is of course Puss in Boots: The Last Wish. The reason why it’s just so good is because the arc of Puss eventually losing his lives was not a forced narrative, simply conjured up to Have Puss Do More Jiggling On Screen. It was an innate part of his self, already there in his character from the start, and was inevitably going to become a problem some day. The creators made the most of it by dealing with it not after 8 more daring adventures that were clearly fabricated to generate money in theaters (what a nightmare to think about), but by insinuating that Puss has already lived some of those lives, giving him depth. Because we have not seen all of them, yet our famed hero has been shaped by them.

One could argue that the quest for the Wishing Star was a little too cheap of a narrative. But Puss has been a serious character stuck in a world full of dumb magical creatures and artefacts before. That’s literally the universe he lives in. So it works. And ohh, how magnificently it works.

So anyway. Front-end motivation, people. Has usually better characters too because the plot is tied to their consistency. It makes the ending of their story depend on themselves, not on ex-universe tinkering or budgets. Use it more, please and thank you.