#so just adding a couple phrases should do the trick

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

i'm forced to read a 1920s book in french on ancient philosophy at 9 am because my seminary isn't long enough someone end with my missery

[razorblade180]

Take a bow!

[Hotel Debord]

Lyney:Tadah! Magic!

A very familiar phrase accompanied by a flock of pigeons taking flight from a deck of cards. Applause from his dear friends, new and old, were all around him at Furina’s tea party.

Furina:Bravooo!

Navia:One of these days I’m going to find out how you do it.

Clorinde:Pretty sure that ruins the fun.

Lyney:I welcome her to try. It would only mean I’d need to even more crafty.

Lynette:I don’t really think that’s possible anymore.

Lyney:What’s that supposed to mean!?

Wriothesley:This certainly is the liveliest tea party I’ve ever seen. Almost feels like I should be paying for the show.

Lynette:*opens hand*

Neuvillette:I do believe he was joking.

Lynette:Oh I know, but if he’s willing…

Wriothesley:I can pay you in my dessert.

Lynette:That works.

Furina:H-Hey! I wouldve kept the slice if you didn’t want it.

Chiori:As if either of you need another slice of cake. At this rate both of you will end up having to pay me if you want keep those clothes.

Chevreuse:Lighten up. I eat whatever I like and I’m fine.

Everyone:You’re a special case….

Emilie:You’ll run off those calories before your body even realizes it’s eaten them.

Chevreuse:All of you can accomplish that too. *bites chicken* mind over matter and all that.

Everyone: “And all that” she say

Navia:Hehe, maybe has a magic trick for that too.

Lynette:Unfortunately…no

Lyney:It’s called a balanced meal and intake

Furina:Pfft, perhaps you should add comedian to your routine.

Charlotte:Honestly that might be kinda interesting.

Sigewinne:Although with you recently adding Freminet… I don’t see that in the future.

Freminet:Stand up is far beyond me. Although…there is a magic trick I’ve been working on. *red* I…I would actually like to try it now.

Lyney:Oh!? By all means, the crowd is yours!

Lynette:Lyney! Don’t freak him out.

Freminet:It’s alright. I got this.

He stands up and begins walking up, passing his brother on the way. Freminet could tell just how excited Lyney was about this. He faced his friends. Funny, Freminet never imagined having so many. Seeing them all calmed his nerves as grabbed a long table cloth from a pile of props Lyney and Lynette had put out for this casual show among friends. Freminet cleared his throat.

Freminet:Ladies and gentlemen. I, The Fantastic Freminet-

Navia, Lyney and Lynette:Awwww

Freminet:*blushing* Will attempt to make a person disappear!

Everyone:Oooooo~

Charlotte:Can’t go wrong with a classic.

Lyney:Umm, that’s a tall order. I was thinking you were about to make a chair vanish or a trick with Per. Don’t you need an assistant?

Freminet:Yes, I do. In secret I’ve practiced this particular trick. I’m not as good as you or Lynette but I’ve tried adding my own touch to it. Now then, may my assistant please step forward?

Everyone looked at one another, seeing who was about to stand up. However, all of them were just as puzzled. That’s when they heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs, their eyes shifted to the right and they all let out a surprise gasp before following it with a bittersweet smile. Approaching from the right was none other than Aether and Paimon wearing a similar smile alongside a couple of fully packed traveling bags.

I a couple seconds of silence filled the space before Chiori began to clap for the two assistance, snapping everyone out of their thoughts and adding to the applause as the travelers stood beside Freminet.

Freminet:I take it these two need no introduction?

Neuvillette:You can say that again.

Furina:And here I was wondering why I never got a response from you about my generous invitation. How cheeky of you.

Aether:We prefer…dramatic.

Furina:Hmm, *smiles* hats off to you.

Freminet:Would either assist like to say a few words before we start.

Paimon:….*tearing up*

Emilie:Aww, *smiles* “allergies?”

Paimon:Hehe, yep! It’s fine though! I…I have no words.

Wriothesley:That’s surp-

Clorinde:*elbows him* Aether? Any comments?

Aether:Honestly…I’m sorta afraid I might start talking a little too much if I’m not careful. A magic trick was one of the first things I witnessed in Fontaine, and it lead to so, so much more than I can imagine. What can I say? I’m happy to be apart of the show.

Lyney:*sniffles*…We’re glad to welcome you on stage.

Lynette:Anytime.

Freminet:*hanging up cloth* Now then, just as a reminder…it’s a disappearing act. As for reappearing…I haven’t gotten the hang of that.

Chevreuse:Don’t sweat it. I think I can speak for everyone when I say no matter how long it takes, I’m sure these two will reappear like magic.

Aether: Couldn’t have said it better myself. Freminet?

Freminet:Ready.

Aether and Paimon look at everyone one more time. Furina locks eyes with the golden hair adventurer as she stands up. Without a word, she bows politely. The rest of their friends follow suit, performing a bow before the two. Aether and Paimon could only smile gently as they finally bow back. It truly has been quite the show. With nothing else to do, they walk behind the sheet.

Freminet:Let’s count down from ten, then I’ll tear down the sheet.

Everyone: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five..four….three…..two……one………farewell.

Freminet pulls down the sheet. Sure enough, the two wonderful assistants were gone. Freminet took his seat again, silently putting on his helmet. Immediately his siblings gently hugged him for such a moving performance. As much as anyone wanted to clap, nobody did. Instead, silence was broken by the sound of light rain hitting the windows of the hotel. Furina couldn’t help but chuckle as she glanced at Neuvillette.

Furina:Come now, new beginnings should be met with celebrations and clear skies. Nothing less than a standing ovation.

Neuvillette:You are right, Lady Furina. However…ideals like that are clearly difficult to uphold. *pulls out handkerchief*

Furina:Pfft, whatever do you mean? *takes it* I’m still new at controlling my Vision.

Navia:*wiping eyes* Hehe, I’m surprised you didn’t ask for one last photo.

Charlotte:It crossed my mind, but even I know how to read the room. Honestly I think my hands would’ve been too shaky. Beside…*smiles* we can all take one together later, when those two reappear like magic.

[enigmakiwi]

Political ads where I am are fucking crazy right now. 4/5 ads I get on YouTube are condemning a senator for 1. Daring to be even a little bit human towards illegal immigrants and 2. Thinking trans women are women. Mostly the second one. I wish I was joking. I can't watch YouTube on my tv anymore without being inundated with "SENATOR X IS LETTING TRANSGENDER BIOLOGICAL MEN IN GIRLS CHANGING ROOMS AND FORCING WOMENS SHELTERS TO TAKE IN TRANSGENDER BIOLOGICAL MEN. HES ADVOCATING FOR SEX CHANGE SURGERY ON MINOR CHILDREN. HES LETTING TRANSGENDER BIOLOGICAL MEN INTO WOMENS SPORTS. DID I MENTION THE PART ABOUT SEX CHANGE SURGERIES ON MINOR CHILDREN. HES SO RADICAL LEFT THAT HE THINKS PUBERTY BLOCKERS AND SEX CHANGE SURGERIES ON MINOR CHILDREN SHOULD BE ALLOWED. SEX CHANGE SURGERY ON MINOR CHILDREN. SEX CHANGE SURGERY ON MINOR CHILDREN."

Meanwhile this guy is like. So incredibly NOT radical in the slightest. But it's making me insane. In the past, usually they at least kind of tried to be subtle about transphobia, or usually they'd just focus on other issues, but now it's purely completely mask-off, bold, open transmisogyny full of fearmongering lies and misleading statements.

The wording really gets to me. Specifically using "girls changing rooms" instead of women's to imply that trans women are specifically a threat to children and make them seem more scary and evil. Bringing up puberty blockers only alongside "sex change surgeries on minor children" to make these two things seem equal in severity and magnitude. And they're very, very careful to always use the phrase "transgender biological men," and that just makes me even angrier— they'll do anything to avoid calling trans women "women" in any capacity, and they want viewers to not even consider them women for a second. It's all tricks of manipulative language I'm familiar with and can recognize, but I'm sure the target audience likely is not and can not.

These ads and the language in them would've been absolutely insane to see a couple years ago, but now... this is normal. Several highly promoted political ads which focus exclusively on transmisogyny... Vile.

[gendercensus]

Supplementary survey: they/them reflexives, The Sir/Ma’am Issue, and Spivak vs. Elverson

This short, clarifying survey ran from 4th until 24th April 2021. There were 2,998 usable responses. Unlike the annual Gender Census survey, this one was open to anyone of any gender, provided they lived in an English-speaking country.

It asked about two things:

They/them verbs and reflexives - basically whether people who prefer they/them pronouns prefer the reflexive to be themself or themselves, and which people feel is more “correct”.

Sir/ma’am/? - investigating why people use sir/ma’am in areas where it’s polite and common to do so, and whether there are any viable nonbinary or gender-neutral alternatives.

This blog post will also investigate the Spivak vs. Elverson issue, which was actually a separate poll that took place on two social networks.

~

THEY/THEM VERBS AND REFLEXIVES

Someone asked about themself vs. themselves, and it reminded me of some of the they/them issues that people ask about in feedback boxes and various confusions surrounding them.

Singular they - what is it, and when and how do people use it?

Plural they - what is it, and when and how do people use it?

What is the “correct” reflexive for each of these?

You can see the statistics in more detail here, but here’s the graph as an overview:

Participants were asked a series of questions about singular they pronouns. Everyone was asked a “which is correct” question, and participants who sometimes or always like to be called ”they” were also asked about their personal preferences.

The graph is a view of only participants who sometimes or always like to be called “they”.

Verbs. As you can see, participants overwhelmingly (94.3%) wanted people to use plural verbs (”they are reading a book”) when talking about them in the third person - even though the percentage of people who thought that was the most “correct” form was a little lower (81.8%). This was lower because 11.4% of participants who preferred “they” answered “both are correct”.

Reflexives. People were much more likely to say that both themself and themselves were correct (28.3%), and more likely to have no preference between the two (17.4%). However, themself was still more popular overall at 59.3%, and 47.3% thought themself was grammatically correct.

You as a control. I also asked all participants whether yourself or yourselves was more correct when addressing one person as a kind of control question, because they is almost grammatically identical to you - it can refer to one person or multiple people, it takes plural verbs even when referring to/addressing one person, and in that situation only the reflexive changes. Many people who say that singular they is grammatically incorrect have no issues with singular you, so it seemed like something that might be interesting to compare. In the graph above you can see that 93.6% of people thought yourself was more correct; only 4.2% of they-accepting participants felt that both yourself and yourselves were equally correct when addressing one person.

There were a couple of things that came up several times in the comments:

“They is” is common in African-American Vernacular English (AAVE), and probably in other dialects too. As I don’t live in the US I’m pretty unfamiliar with this dialect, but either way that seems fine to me. It’s part of why I also asked for participants’ locations, because I wanted others to be able to download the results and see if some regions were more likely to use some words/constructions than others.

There were some alternatives to themself and themselves presented, such as theirself and theirsen. Both of these points lead nicely to the third...

The idea that any language choice is more “correct” than another is quite prescriptive. What feels correct or natural varies depending on a lot of factors, such as where in the world you learned English, and there is no such thing as objective correctness when it comes to such a broad and variable language as English.

I am aware of and agree with that third bullet point, so my asking which phrases were more “correct” was a bit of a trick question. It was a good way to get a feel for people’s linguistic instincts.

I also thought it was interesting that participants who never wanted to be called they were slightly more likely to side with the most popular view on what is “correct” across the board, and less likely to say “both are correct”.

~

PLURAL VS. SINGULAR THEY

I actually ran another version of this survey first and then scrapped the responses, because it was clear that my survey design was leading to some pretty confused and unhelpful data! Among other things, it asked participants whether they preferred singular or plural they for themselves and then directed them to particular questions based on their answer, and the comments suggested that people either didn’t really understand the distinction or meant different things by those terms, even though I had added help text.

This is my understanding:

Singular they is they/them pronouns when used to refer to one person. Verbs are usually plural (i.e. “they are” rather than “they is”), and themself and themselves are both common. Example usage: They are getting themself a cup of coffee. They bought themselves a nice new hat.

Plural they is they/them pronouns when used to refer to two or more people. Verbs are usually plural (i.e. “they are” rather than “they is”), and themselves is almost universal (with the exception of regional variations such as theirselves). Example usage: They are getting themselves some coffee together. They all bought hats for themselves.

Some plural/multiple people refer to themselves as “we” and prefer to be addressed as “they/themselves” (which they call plural they) because they are a group of individuals sharing one body.

The reason I initially asked directly about singular vs. plural they is because I was concerned that plural/multiple systems would cause some statistical confusion. Many plural people have asked me to add plural they to the checkbox list of pronouns in the annual survey, but since it has never been entered by over 1% of participants I have never had reason to do so. As far as I knew, the only difference between singular and plural they is the reflexive (themself for singular and themselves for plural), so I wanted to be able to investigate non-plural people in isolation, and I was curious to know about any trends or differences. I wanted to find out if I should be doing anything differently to ensure that Gender Census statistics are helpful.

So, I swapped out the badly-designed question for a straight-up checkbox, a “check this box if you’re plural/multiple” type of thing, with a note that participants should fill in the survey once per body wherever possible, and then I made some graphs.

Here you can see that plural systems were still more likely to prefer people to use themself to refer to them rather than themselves, though the margin is narrower:

Plural participants were also more likely to say that they sometimes or never want people to refer to them as they, whereas non-plural people were more likely to want people to always refer to them as they (or they just feel fine about it):

There’s not a lot in it, though. It’s all relatively evenly distributed, with no strong leader in either category there.

For the curious: 8.2% of participants checked the plural/multiple box.

In conclusion: plural and non-plural people alike all prefer people to use themself when referring to them in the third person using they/them pronouns, and I feel that there is probably no need to ask about plurality or separate out data from plural people in future. (Asking about this and seeing the responses did in part prompt me to start an anonymous feedback form for plural participants of the Gender Census, though.)

~

THE SIR/MA’AM ISSUE

For several years participants have been asking me in the feedback box of the annual Gender Census survey to also ask about gender-inclusive or nonbinary-specific alternatives to sir and ma’am. I’ve largely not done anything about it, because when informally asking around I’ve generally had the response “just don’t say sir or ma’am, just leave it out altogether.” I live in the UK, where if someone calls you sir/ma’am you’re either looking at home in a fancy restaurant for billionnaires or you’re being made fun of - or sometimes both.

However, during this year’s annual survey while talking about it in a little more depth I learned that there are places in the world where sir/ma’am is very common, required for politeness, and basically inescapable. Nonbinary people in those areas are really struggling, because they do actually need a nonbinary-friendly stand-in for those terms - omitting the sir/ma’am isn’t an option.

Again, the location question was asked so that anyone else downloading the spreadsheet of responses can analyse by region to find out whether sir/ma’am is ubiquitous in particular regions and in which contexts it is used, and can even check whether there is a region-specific alternative to sir/ma’am emerging. I asked several questions about sir/ma’am, including about reasons/contexts and personal preferences, and some superficial analysis is included on the spreadsheet of responses.

But the juicy bit is the nonbinary-specific and gender-inclusive alternative words, right?

[The counting formula is case-sensitive so I made everything lowercase to make the count a little more accurate.]

Suggested gender-inclusive alternatives to sir/ma’am

mx - 4.1% (151)

friend - 2.2%

comrade - 1.2%

captain - 0.7%

ser - 0.5%

mate - 0.4%

m - 0.3%

per - 0.3%

boss - 0.3%

folks - 0.3% (9)

Suggested nonbinary-specific alternatives to sir/ma’am

mx - 8.3% (250)

mix - 0.7%

tiz - 0.5%

friend - 0.4%

ser - 0.4%

comrade - 0.3%

mixter - 0.3%

captain - 0.2%

ind - 0.2%

mir - 0.2% (6)

So it looks like Mx (pronounced “mix” or with a toneless vowel that sounds a bit like “mux”) is the clear winner in both categories. If you want to try to introduce a gender-neutral version of sir/ma’am in your area this one is probably your best bet.

~

SPIVAK VS. ELVERSON

This wasn’t part of the same survey! It was a Twitter poll and a Mastodon poll that ran for one week and ended today, and I’m putting it here because it has to go somewhere.

Sometimes people refer to the ey/em and e/em “versions” of the Spivak pronoun set, which makes my eyebrows do things, because they’re not both Spivak. They are distinct established pronoun sets with their own names.

Spivak - e/em/eir/eirs/emself - written about by Michael Spivak in the 1990s. [source: Nonbinary Wiki]

Elverson - ey/em/eir/eirs/emself - created by Christine M Elverson in the 1970s. [source: Nonbinary Wiki]

The Elverson set is older, but it’s less well-known for some reason, so they’re assumed to be variants of Spivak due to the similarity in spelling.

I was recently asked how we can know which is more popular, given the “oh this checkbox option is close enough, I’ll just choose that instead of typing in my very slightly different set” effect and the “hmm this checkbox option is very close to my set, I’m probably meant to choose this one” effect, plus the boost that checkbox options get with the “oh I hadn’t thought of that one but yeah, why not” effect. Spivak (e/em) is on the checkbox list of pronouns in the annual survey, so it appears to be much more popular than Elverson (ey/em)... but is it really?

I ran a poll on both Twitter and Mastodon, and then used a spreadsheet to extract the useful numbers. There were 141 relevant votes after one week. I wouldn’t usually make annual-survey-altering decisions based on a sample that small, but in this case the results are extremely decisive:

It seems that the highest proportion of people who like at least one of the sets are happy for both to be used, at 48%. 45% prefer ey/em (Elverson) and 7% prefer e/em (Spivak). This is pretty stunning! I’ve been presenting e/em (Spivak) as a checkbox option on the Gender Census annual survey for years, possibly since the first survey in 2013, and because it’s a checkbox option it seems to be consistently a lot more popular than ey/em (Elverson). That’s 4.3% and 0.6% respectively in the 2021 survey. But this poll suggests that actually ey/em (Elverson) is much more popular when the two pronoun sets are viewed on a level playing field.

When you remove all “I don’t mind” votes, you get this:

Over 6 times as many people prefered Elverson!

I will definitely be adding Elverson to the Gender Census next year, just so that we can split the e/em and ey/em votes and really get to the bottom of this.

Anyway, while we’re on the topic, ey/em takes singular verbs most of the time.

[jerzwriter]

Sprout

Book: Open Heart

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x MC

Rating: Teen

Summary: A cute little drabble about the couple’s attempt to try new things, and how it helps Tobias get the one thing he really wants.

Category: Fluff – Just Fluff

Warnings: None

A/N: Just a little drabble for a reader request for prompts #35 – let’s take a break and relax or #76 – I named my little plant after you. (From the 101 Ways to Say I Love You list found here.) They said either, but my favorite saying is… “Why not both?” So here you go. I hope you enjoy it. Both phrases are highlighted below.

A/N 1: Casias? Interesting!

CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS

If you wish to be added or removed from tags, please let me know. Comments and reblogs always appreciated. 😊

Casey gasped and Tobias let out a stifled groan as they took the last steps to reach the peak. They were finally on level ground, well, at least temporarily level ground.

“I think I may die. Whose idea was this?” She asked.

“I believe it was yours, sweetheart.”

“Not in its entirety, you said you wanted to try new things. I made the suggestion, but you liked it.”

“Oh, slow your roll, I didn’t like it, I just didn’t rebuff it!”

“True, but you’re the one who suggested Mount Wachusett. I wanted to do the Battle Road Trail.”

“Casey, that’s a freaking walk. We might as well walk along the Esplanade. If you say you want to hike, we hike.”

“Well, I thought we were in shape enough for this. Apparently, hours on the Peloton is not a match.”

“Nah, we’re in plenty good shape, baby.” He took her hand and spun her around, eying her up and down the entire time. “Especially you. There is just too damned much nature out here. Face it, we’re city kids.”

“We sure are.”

“Hey, see that big rock, in the shade no less? That has our names all over it. Let’s take a break and relax, just for a bit.”

“We may as well, the rest is downhill now.”

“THANK GOD.”

“Aww, baby,” she tilted her head and batted her eyelashes, “are you going to be too tired to do anything when we get back to the inn?”

“Like that’ll happen," he kissed her forehead tenderly. “Dinner, a shower, preferably together, and try and stop me.”

“I’m so glad you said a shower,” she giggled.

Casey was taking in the beautiful view while Tobias was finishing his water. He glanced at his watch and realized they better head back if they wanted to get down the mountain before dark.

“Babe, ready to head down. Babe? Where’d you go?”

“I’m over here,” she yelled.

He twisted his face in bewilderment when he turned and saw her bent over near some shrubs.

“Hey, city girl! You don’t know oak leaves from poison oak, what are you doing over there besides potentially ruining our chances of doing... anything... back at the inn?"

She turned at looked at him with annoyance. “I may prefer the city, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know anything about the outdoors. You forget, my grandparents had a farm in Pennsylvania and I spent a good portion of my childhood there.”

“OK, so that doesn't explain why you're hunched over?”

“See this plant? My grandmother used to have these all throughout her house. I want to take a cutting so I can grow it. I'd love to have them in our place.”

He smiled at the mention of “our place”. Despite all his charm and grand attempts, Casey still held declined his offer to move in with him permanently. But when she said things like that, he felt she was softening. Who knows? Could houseplants be the first step to getting her there?"

“Do you have a knife on you?”

“No, princess, my knife fighting days are firmly in the past,” he rolled his eyes. "Why the heck would I have a knife on me?”

“I don’t know, don't guys carry Swiss army knives or something. Especially out here in the wild.”

“Well, I don’t know if this qualifies as the wild, and I live in Boston. I don’t own a Swiss army knife.”

“Well, you're getting one for Christmas. Until then, hand me that broken rock. That looks sharp, it should do the trick.”

Fortunately, it did, and she was able to cut just enough to get it back to the inn. She planned on putting it in water in a plastic cup until they were back in Boston, but knowing it meant a lot to her, Tobias stopped in a gardening center they passed on the way to pick up a small vase. Casey kissed his cheek when he returned to the car, touched by the sweet gesture.

After deciding that a cozy night in their room sounded better than going out to eat, they showered and ordered in. Casey tended to her cutting while they waited. Tobias smiled as she fussed over it. It was so tiny, there really wasn’t much to do, but you wouldn’t know it by watching her.

“Baby, it’s in water. It's set. There's nothing else you need to do to it right now.”

She looked at him over her shoulder. “I just really like it.”

“I see that,” he smiled. Then he thought about his plan, and he had an idea. “You know, that’s our first plant together," he teased. "I’m completely open to having more. I always saw myself with at least three plants.”

“Did you?” she chuckled.

“Yep. At least three. Now, where is the little guy going to live?”

“At your house. My room in the apartment is too dark, and if I leave it in the living room, well, I don't trust Jackie. He’s safer with you.”

“Hmm,” he said raising his eyebrows, “He’s going to need his Mom, you’ll need to be there frequently.”

Casey smirked, “That can be arranged.”

They were startled by a knock on the door.

"Room service!"

“Oh, thank God, I am famished!”

Casey placed the plant on a ledge next to the window as Tobias got the food.

“This is steaming! Want to let it sit a moment before eating?”

“Works for me!”

She plopped down on the bed, tapping the space beside her, beckoning him to join.

“I named my little plant after you,” she smiled.

“You what?”

“I named the pant after you.”

“I don’t know how to tell you, but he doesn’t really look like a Tobias.”

“Of course not, silly! That’s why I named him Tobi.”

“Tobi?”

“Mmm-hmm,” she nodded.

“No one has ever called me Tobi in my life, Casey.”

“I know that. That’s why I thought it was good for the plant. He's named after you, but he will have his own identity. People won't confuse the two of you, and it's better than Junior."

“So, you’ve got this all figured out then?”

“Sure do. He even looks a little like you… after you’ve had a little too much to drink, you do turn a little green.”

“I don’t know, Case,” he laughed, “I think our little guy deserves to have both parents with him at all times. Don’t you think it’s time you moved in with me?”

She looked at the ceiling, contemplating thoughtfully, before shifting onto her side and locking her eyes on his.

“I think it is.”

“Wait,” he jumped, “are you serious?”

The grin on his face expanded as she nodded. He leaned over placed a tender, but passionate kiss on her lips.

“You mean, all this time all I needed to do was get a plant?”

“Maybe,” she giggled.

“Alright, then, if I buy you a terrarium, would you consider marrying me?”

“Don’t push your luck, Carrick. But give it a year or so, we do some gardening together, clear out some weeds… it could happen.”

“Well, it looks like we’re stopping at the gardening center on the way back to Boston tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“Because I am buying us some fertilizer.”

A/N 3: Starting with "Casey gasped and Tobias let out a stifled groan as they took the last steps to reach their peak." Y'all thought I was going someplace else with this, didn't you?

Permatags: @barbean @binny1985 @bluebelle08 @bluerosesbloom @brokenmemoriesblog @charisworld @chemist-ana @cokesbetterthanpepsi @crazy-loca-blog @custaroonie @everybodyscreamsposts @genevievemd@icecoffee90 @jamespotterthefirst @jennieausten @kachrisberry @kalinahonore @lady-calypso @liaromancewriter @mia143 @mjlbwork @mm2305 @phoenixrising308 @pixelberrygirl @potionsprefect @schnitzelbutterfingers @secretaryunpaid @shewillreadyou @shygirl4295 @socalwriterbee @thegreentwin @toadfrog26 @txemrn @wanderingamongthewildflowers

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

[the-duke-of-nuts]

Is This Coffee Hot Or Is It Just You?

Day 3: Coffee Shop @dukexietyweek 

Summary: Virgil finds out that a certain someone happens to work at the local coffee shop

Pairing: Dukexiety

Word Count: 1389

Warnings: Food Mention, Innuendos, Violence Mention, Literally all of my fics contain swearing so there’s that I guess

Tag List: @idontcareaboutcanon (If anyone else wants to be added just let me know)

Ah Coffee shops. Virgil never understood the appeal about a place filled with nothing but caffine, free WIFI, hipsters, and pastries. He certainly also didn't understand why he agreed to go to the local one near his apartment that his friends kept oh so begging him to go to for some reason. Well, by "friends" it was mostly Patton and Roman. His other two friends could care less about the place just as much as him. But here he was opening the door to the quiet semi-crowded shop. There was an oddly comforting atmosphere to it. The lights were dim, random relaxing music can be heard through the speakers, various different tea boxes and mugs hung on the shelves. "Maybe this place isn't so bad." Virgil thought to himself as he looked around the room. He walked forward to the counter as he happened to be the next person in line but then he saw him.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Remus Pierce. The same Remus Pierce that always flirted with him in high school. The same Remus Pierce that casually ate juiced bread at lunch to gross people out. The same Remus Pierce that Virgil secretly had a crush- 

"Well hello there customer~ What can I get you~?" The said mustached, silver streaked hair barista asked smirking. "Coffee." Virgil deadpanned. "I'm afraid you're gonna need to be more specific than that." "Like my soul." Virgil glared. "Alright so black it is. And a name?" Remus smirked as he uncapped a marker and held an empty coffee cup. "Oh my god Remus you already know my-" Virgil took a deep breath in so he could stop himself from getting angry and causing an unnecessary scene and answered with a fake smile "Virgil." "I'm sorry can you spell that for me please? I don't wanna misspell a hottie like yours name like everybody else here does to the other customers."

That damn cocky smirk.

Virgil just wanted to kiss- punch that smug look off his face. "V-I-R-G-I-L." "Okay S-E-X-Y got it. Your beverage should be hot and ready for you shortly." Remus winked and booped Virgil's nose as he walked off to go make the emo's coffee. Virgil growled blushing and buried his face in his hands.

Damn him for being so hot- horrible!

Remus soon came back with Virgil's coffee and dramatically bowed as he held the cup for him to take."For you, my 'Bittersweet Symphony'. "Thanks..." Virgil hesitantly took the beverage. "How much?" He asked as he placed the cup down and reached for his wallet. "Oh for you it's on the house!" "Thanks I guess?" Remus smiled and responded with a nod and a hum.

You gorgeous fuck stop smiling!

Virgil's heart started beating a little faster. Surely Remus wasn't having this effect on him right? They've known each other since high school. There was nothing to be nervous about. The only reason Virgil didn't hear much about the barista after that was because Roman hardly ever talked about him. "So... You work here." Virgil stated as he tried to start a conversation. "Yup! Have been for a couple of months now. What about you? Do you do anything nowadays?" "Of course I do I do a lot of stuff!" Virgil immediately answered. " Oh really? Like what?" Remus asked amused. "Stuff..." Virgil half mumbled as he looked away. Remus cackled.

That disgustingly beautiful laugh.

"Vee Vee, I've known you long enough to know that you're not fully being honest because you're either 1, ashamed or 2, scared of what I'm gonna say. Now c'mon what do you actually do? I promise I won't judge." Virgil blushed. Was he really that readable?

"Fine. It's not like you care or anything but I write poems and sell them."

"Nice. Maybe one of these days you can read me one of your angsty emo sonnets. OOH! Or better yet I can help you write some juicy-"

"Not happening!"

"Fine fine suit yourself." Remus chuckled. "So what brings you here Finding Emo?"

"Prince Drama Queen and Chocolate Chip Cookies."

"Ah so Romano and Patty. That figures. You sure it wasn't for another reason~?"

"No?"

"C'mon admit it. I know you missed me~" Remus smirked playfully pinching Virgil's cheek. "I didn't even know you worked here!" Virgil blushed as he swatted Remus' hand away. "Yeah but now you do and you can see me aaaaanytime you want." "Whatever..." Virgil crossed his arms and looked away.

There soon became a silence between them. Since when did Remus' eyes get prettier? Maybe it was the eyeshadow? No he always had that. Maybe it was because they were a deep chocolate brown? His hair and lips definitely looked softer and- Shit! Virgil was staring!

Get out of there! Get out of there now!

"Anyways I should get going and uh-" Virgil cleared his throat as he picked up his coffee and turned around to leave as quick as possible but Remus stopped him. "Wait uh Virgil, can I ask you something?" Ah yes every anxiety-ridden person's favorite question. "You just did." Virgil deadpanned trying to play off his anxiousness. "You know what I meant!" Remus said slightly irritated.

"Fine. What is it?"

"Okay so I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out together later after my shift?"

Virgil blushed. "Like a date?" "If you want it to be~" Remus wiggled his eyebrows and winked. "But in all seriousness yeah kind of." A date!? Remus was far from being the romantic type. This had to be a trick right!?

"Remus I-"

"Look, I know you don't like me much and you probably hate me, but just give me this one chance... Please?" Remus took Virgil's hand and gave him a pleading look. Virgil unconsciously held Remus' hand tighter staring into his eyes. He felt bad. Did Remus really think he actually hated him? That was far from the truth. Virgil loved him. He loved him so damn much since the moment he first laid eyes on him. He just didn't know how to tell him. Let alone show him. 

Virgil sighed. "Fine. One date and that's it. If I actually have a good time, I'll maybe consider going on some more with you. If not, then whatever we have going on between us isn't happening.” That was an obvious lie. Virgil would've agreed to go on countless ones regardless of the outcome and accept to being Remus' boyfriend if he asked but he never wanted to actually admit that to the barista's face.

"I won't disappoint!" Remus smiled getting a little excited. "Yeah yeah whatever. Just out of curiosity, what exactly is this date?" Virgil asked knowing fully well that this "date" the barista had planned was far from his twin's definition. Remus smirked and leaned forward for only Virgil to hear. "Two words. Baseball bats and breaking shit." There's the Remus he knew and loved.

Still chaotic as ever.

Virgil smiled. "Alright you've piqued my interest." "I'm glad I did. If I'm lucky, we both know what happens after the first date~" Remus smirked wiggling his eyebrows. "Shut up. You wish." Virgil blushed holding back a laugh and playfully pushed Remus' face away. Remus cackled.

"A man can fantasize."

"Yeah a little too much."

"So you have thought about-"

"Pierce! Stop flirting with the customers and get back to work!"

Remus rolled his eyes annoyed at his manager's voice in the distance. "I gotta go. My shift ends in like 2 hours and I put my number on the cup so just call or text me or come back by then." "Alright." Remus smirked. "What!?" Virgil blushed confused but immediately realized what that smirk meant.

Oh no.

Remus practically made this phrase a tradition everytime they said bye to each other. "I love you no homo." Yup there it was. Virgil sighed and facepalmed "I love you too no homo..." Remus smiled satisfied that Virgil still said it back since the day they first met.

"Later."

"Later."

 Virgil picked his coffee up and left and smiled to himself as soon as he went outside. After all of these years, he's still a dork. That's what Virgil always loved about Remus. And with that final thought, Virgil finally sipped his coffee and his smile grew wider.

He remembered exactly how I liked it.

[moldisgoodforyou]

take a break (ii)

wordcount: 1.8k

warnings: cursing

part one

____

Around midnight that night, Rafe and Sophie were at the back-to-school party and Sophie was pleasantly surprised with how normal it all felt between the two. She told herself she fit in more wearing a minidress, knocking back lukewarm Coors Light in an old college basement rather than wearing a cocktail dress, drinking expensive vodka in a mansion. She didn’t let herself drink too much, afraid she’d spill her thoughts to Rafe. He did enough drinking for the two of them throughout the night and was thriving in the crowd with a bravado that came far too natural to him. 

“How do you feel about me, really?” Rafe asked Sophie, slurring just a little. He had his lips brushing her ear to be heard over the crowd and was leaning into her against the wall. “What do you mean? I like you, you know that.” She pushed his chest gently, making him stand straight again. 

“No, for real. Because I have something important to tell you, but I need to know how you feel.” He leaned close again and she felt uneasy, trying not to let herself overthink what he might mean. “Rafe, not now.” 

He frowned. “I wanna tell you. It’s special.” 

“Then tell me later. Only if you mean it.”

After he had tripped over a stray lamp cord and nearly took Sophie down with him, James and Colin had been watching Rafe, ready to save him from embarrassment. They’d been listening in and intervened when they heard the topic he brought up. “Rafe, dude, come get water with us.” (Everything had to be phrased as a group suggestion - drunk Rafe never accepted commands.) 

Rafe paused, glancing back and forth between them and Sophie. “No, I want Sophie to come, I gotta tell her.” 

“I don’t think you do.” Colin shook his head and grabbed Rafe’s arm, trying to pull him away.

Rafe huffed and flailed his arm out of Colin’s grip. “Fine, fine! Soph, baby, you gonna be okay?” She laughed and gave him a gentle push. “I’ll be just fine, I think you should go with the boys. Sounds fun.” He nodded and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Okay, but I’ll be right back. Don’t leave me.” 

“Won’t, promise. Go.” She shot a grateful smile to Rafe’s roommates and James grinned, giving her a cheesy salute as he tugged Rafe away to the kitchen. Colin rolled his eyes as he followed behind, then handed Rafe a bottle of water the second they walked in. “Here, drink.” 

“No, no, I’m good. I’m great.” Rafe pushed away the bottle, opting to take a long gulp from his solo cup instead. 

“That’s fine, I bet James can drink it faster anyways.” Two seconds after Colin handed the bottle to James, Rafe snatched it out of his hand and chugged the whole thing, crushing it in his hand. “Look! I did it.”  

“There we go.” James nodded. “Old tricks always work.”  

“Hey, guys.” Rafe accepted a White Claw from Colin, the boys figuring it was mainly water anyways. “I’m gonna tell Sophie I love her. Tonight.”

“Hell no you’re not.” Colin laughed. 

“You don’t wanna do that buddy, you’re better than that.” James shook his head, moving to block the kitchen door just in case Rafe made a run for it. 

Rafe frowned. “S’not fair. I’ve felt it for months now and I don’t wanna say it if she won’t.” 

“Months? I thought you told us you knew after formal. Which was early. It’s still early.” Colin added, ever-practical. 

James shrugged. He had been dating his high school sweetheart long-distance for three years now and was the hopeless romantic of the three. “That doesn’t matter. If you know, you know. That’s fine. But we’re not gonna let you make a fool of yourself for it, Rafe, you’re drunk off your ass right now.” 

“Drunk on my feet.” Rafe corrected, looking a little smug. 

“Sure, drunk on your feet. I was thinking about heading home, you wanna walk home? You’re too old to be missing classes for being hungover, even during syllabus week.” Colin reasoned. 

“Can I say ‘bye to Sophie?” 

“Just good night, no L-word.” James told him, and Rafe nodded. “No L-word.” 

The three made their way back out from the kitchen and Rafe found Sophie quickly, greeting her with a misplaced kiss on the corner of her lips. “Sophie, we’re gonna go home. No L-word though.” 

“No...what?” She asked with confusion as James smacked his forehead. “I can’t hear you, Rafe, it’s too loud.” 

“Good, we’re just gonna take him home!” Colin jumped in quickly, letting Rafe kiss Sophie again before tugging him away. Sophie watched them go, amused but utterly confused, hoping she was just assuming things too quickly from earlier.

_

After a week back at school, Sophie had hardly talked to Rafe. Her head spun  every time she speculated on what he might have been trying to tell her, and she wasn’t sure she could handle it. She tried to be subtle about pushing Rafe off, giving him shorter responses over text and making excuses when he asked to hang out. It wasn’t working. 

“Something’s wrong.” Rafe announced to his roommates, frowning when he received another half-hearted reply from Sophie. He’d tried to make plans with her three times that week and she somehow had a new thing she had to handle each time. 

“What do you mean, something’s wrong?” Colin asked. 

“It’s Sophie. She’s all off.” Rafe frowned. “Ever since we went home she’s been all weird. And now she won’t hang out with me.” 

“She’s probably busy, dude, doesn’t she have an internship this semester?” 

“How busy can someone really be during syllabus week?” James interjected.

“Week after, but real helpful, dude.” Colin chucked a dirty sock at James, and both of them started throwing random things across the room, yelling unintelligibly, until Rafe spoke up. “Hey. Hey! Knock it off!”  

Both boys had the decency to look a little sheepish as they settled down, James taking a seat on the couch next to Rafe. “Show me what she’s saying. Maybe you’re overthinking.” 

Colin flopped down on the other side of him. “Yeah, and didn’t you guys basically spend every day together over break? Maybe she needs some space.” 

“She’s my girlfriend, why would she need space from me?” Rafe frowned, handing his phone to James. 

James took his time to read through, trying to keep his expression neutral. “Huh.” 

“Fuck, that bad?” 

“No, no, not bad.” James paused, trying to gather his thoughts. “Maybe you just need to slow things down a little. You don’t need to see each other every single day just because you’re dating.” 

“I know that, but we’ve hardly talked all week. And she was weird at home too. I didn’t do something at the party, did I?” Rafe asked, trying to think back. 

“Uh...” Colin and James exchanged glances before Colin shook his head. “No, nothing out of the ordinary.”  

“Good. I’m gonna call her.” Rafe declared, leaving the room. Sophie didn’t pick up until the fourth ring. “Hey, Rafe, I’m walking to my freshman seminar, can I call you later?” 

“Convenient.” He mumbled before he could think. 

“I - what?” She replied, slightly taken aback. 

“Nothing, sorry. Yeah, can we hang out later? I can pick you up from the architecture building?” 

“Um...yeah. I’m done at seven.”

“Deal, I’ll be there.” He hung up before he could let himself say another dumb comment, while Sophie just stared at her phone in confusion after the dial tone. His comment weighed on her all through the class, and she was grateful it was just another lecture day she didn’t need to pay attention to instead of a technical day. When they got out a little early, she texted him right away. 

Sophie: just gonna walk home, we can talk tomorrow?

Rafe: I got here early, I’m parked on the side street

She took a deep breath and made her way out the building to his car - the fucking Range Rover that she had never given a second thought about until now. It was just another reminder of what she wasn’t. 

“Hey, Soph.” Rafe greeted her with a kiss once she slid into the passenger seat. She gave him a short smile. “Hey. How’d you know I’d be out early?” He shrugged, starting the car. “Only the second week of school, I just figured. Do you want to go get ice cream or something?” 

“I can’t, I have my first full day of my internship tomorrow and need to get things ready.” She started playing with her necklace, growing a little antsy. 

He glanced over. “Oh. Are you doing this every Monday?” 

“Monday and Wednesday nights, yeah. It’s kind of a lot, but I wanted to do one more TA class before senior year.” 

“That is a lot. Sounds like you’ll be busy.” He tapped his fingers on the wheel, staring ahead and listening to steady rhythm of rain that picked up around them.

She just hummed in agreement, falling silent again. After a few moments, she reached for the radio, and he gently knocked her hand away. “Sophie, what’s your deal?” 

“My deal?” She repeated. “I don’t have a deal, I’m just trying to figure out how to balance work and class. What’s your deal?” She shot back to him, growing defensive. 

“And me?” 

“What?”  

“You’re trying to figure out how to balance me, too?” He glanced over again, jaw set. This was not at all how he wanted this conversation to go - but it also felt good to finally get it out, so he didn’t stop himself. 

“Where the fuck is this coming from, Rafe?” She turned in her seat to fully face him, arms crossed. 

“You’ve been like this for a moment. Before school started, so you can’t use that excuse.” He pulled up front on the street outside Theta and turned off the car so he could fully face her. 

She backed down a little, shrinking back into her seat. “Have I? I’m not sure about that.” 

Rafe frowned and reached out for her hand, but she pulled it back. “Soph, come on. Talk with me.” 

“I am talking. There’s nothing to talk about. I’m just balancing things.” She insisted, biting the inside of her cheek hard to keep her composure. In her mind, there would be nothing worse than showing him how much she was struggling at the moment - she just needed to work things out with herself, and she’d be fine.

He regarded her carefully, unsure. “Maybe...maybe we should take a break.” He said it all in one breath, extremely wary of her reaction. “Just for a couple weeks. I’ll back off.” 

Sophie nodded in agreement without any hesitation. “Yeah. We should.” 

Rafe’s face twisted in disappointment. He swallowed hard and gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were almost white, avoiding her gaze. “Okay.” 

“Okay.” She stopped, almost reaching out to touch him, question it, but changed her mind at the last minute. She grabbed her backpack and got out of the car, wincing when the door accidentally slammed shut behind her. 

He flinched at her slamming the door, eyes still trained out the window. Rafe still waited until she was safely inside, then waited a moment longer to catch his breath, feeling like he had been punched in the gut. 

A break, accepted without any pause. 

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 51.26 - King’s vs Imperial

For the second quarter-final we had a match-up between two London Universities, King’s and Imperial. King’s came in with a combined score of 280, while Imperial had racked up 415, clearly indicating who the favourites were. 

Paxman uses the word sledgehammering to describe Imperial’s win over Glasgow in the previous round. This is an entirely magnificent word and one which I am entirely surprised to hear coming forth from his mouth because it sounds like the sort of modern, verbing-the-noun nonsense that would rile him.

Either way, Imperial pick up where they left the sledgehammer, as Sheriff opened the scoring, with a couple of bonuses to boot. Zeng then continued to show off his geography expertise (more on this later) with the second starter and two more five pointers followed. At this point King’s manage to block the sledgehammer, as Rashid comes in impressively on a starter about Brown Dwarves. A perfect hat-trick on chemistry brought them right back into the game, before some more virtuoso geographying from Zeng grabbed the initiative back for Imperial.

For the first question it seemed like he had an exact picture of the world map in his head, so to give him the aid of an actual visual map, and a handily placed target as well, as they did for the first picture round, seems unfair. Predictably he races through all four questions. 

Often in sports commentary you will hear the phrase ‘If X had done that you’d never here the end of it’, with X referring to one of the top few players at said sport, and the commentator implying that the exploits of some player of lesser-renown should be placed on a similar pedestal to said elite player. 

The trouble with this line of rhetoric is that when X player does the thing, you know its not a fluke, because they have done it over and over again in the past. The fact of this flukiness doesn’t make the lesser players achievements any less impressive, its just that when X does it there is a certain added frisson because we know they can, and do, replicate it. Plenty of footballers will have one Messi-like goal in them over a career. Plenty of basketball players will drain a single three pointer like Steph Curry. The difference is that they can’t do it week in week out, constantly showing themselves to be the best.

With Zeng, there is that same added spice when he answers the geography questions. We know they haven’t fallen for him in a lucky fashion. This is no fluke. Give him ten other targets marked in a map of India and he could have answered ten other questions. 

With both sides negging starters, Zeng proves that he’s not a one trick pony with a ten pointer on an entirely different subject. He grabs another and Imperial start to look comfortable as Mays takes the music starter too. They’re a hundred points clear and King’s don’t seem to have anything up their sleeves. This stretches to a hundred and thirty before King’s get back in play, with a starter on football teams, though their brief resurgence lasts only a moment. 

Imperial march on and take the game out of King’s reach, though in the closing moments their London rivals are finally able to get a foothold of sorts and they drag themselves up to a semi-respectable score. When they’ve had their fun, Zeng and Imperial have some of their own with a few more Geo questions on their way to a stunning 235.

Final Score: King’s 50 - 235 Imperial

Paxman says that Imperial got ‘some good questions, convenient for them’, which, while sort of correct, completely neglects Zeng’s utter brilliance. So yes, it is a little bit unfair for Zeng to get questions on geography, but in the same way it would be unfair to let Messi join in with a kickabout down the park.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Some do’s and don’t’s for the hobbyist fanfic writer.

Do remember I am also a hobbyist writer, but these are things I’ve noticed after the last 10 years of reading/writing fanfiction, and writing in general. You can take this with a grain of salt if you wish.

Word choices for kissing/sexual encounters

Something that irks me like no other is specific word choices when a couple is kissing/having sex. 

Firstly, kick the word cavern out of your vocabulary, unless it’s about an actual cavern. Mouths/vaginas/anuses are NOT “Moist” or “Wet” caverns, please stop using that phrasing. I don’t know how that started, but speaking from experience as a reader and after talking with others, it is a very odd word choice and it does not work out well.

Secondly, do not describe a french kiss as a battle for dominance. This one is extremely popular, more so in older works thankfully, but I don’t understand why. I have french kissed someone before; it’s not a wrestling match. You can’t fight for dominance in the kiss all that much. 

Instead of “You fought his tongue for dominance in a heated kiss”, think something like “You swirled your tongue along his in a heated kiss”. Tongues work cohesively, not against each other.

Descriptions of clothing in fanfics

Wanna know something that completely sucks me out of a story the second I start reading it and makes me click out of it? Clothing descriptions.

“You were wearing a hoodie, skinny jeans, and your favorite pair of converse.”

“You slid on your favorite skirt and blouse.” “Your skirt swished around you.”

“You donned your favorite pair of skinny jeans.”

“He tugged down at the thong you were wearing.”

Stop doing that. ESPECIALLY THE THONGS- WHY ARE THEY SO POPULAR? We do not need a complete description of what YOU imagine the MC to be wearing in fanfics, because WE are the MC!!!! I don’t own skirts, I don’t own skinny jeans, etc. and other people might not either!

We should not have to pretend to like a certain style of clothing because you think it’s a good choice for the story. Try to be as general as possible in all of your descriptions for clothing.

Instead of “Skirt” think “Bottoms” or just general “Pants”, and instead of “Blouse” it never hurt anyone to just say “Top” or “Shirt”. 

I especially hate female targeted fanfics because I feel I don’t fit their image of a female because I don’t wear the clothing they always describe.

Don’t blatantly go for makeup

I see this frequently in fanfics, and it also makes me piggyback off of the last point about female targeted fanfics and not fitting the image.

I do not own a single ounce of makeup. I never have and I never will. I don’t see the point in it, so you know what makes me immediately not wanna read your fanfiction?

Saying that the first thing I do in the morning is wake up and put on makeup. Saying that I’m not wearing makeup around the love interest for the first time. 

Just ditch the makeup. Instead of saying “You got up and put on your makeup”, say “You got up and went through your morning routine”.

Don’t assume what your reader looks like (Hair/skin/weight)

This one has lots of no-nos for me.

First, hair. Do some of you not understand that short hair is a thing? I swear, 90% of the fanfics I have read note that the MC has long hair that is “Tied up in a loose bun”, or “Tugged into a quick ponytail”, or “Cascading down your back”. 

For all that is good in the world, stop doing this. Some people have short hair. It sucks me right out of the damn story when people mention this. Sure, you might have long hair. Sure, you might envision the reader with long hair. Is it 100% guaranteed that the reader will have that long hair? NO! Be as general as possible with hair descriptions. 

Secondly, skin. Do some of you not realize that POC exist and read fanfics? Because it seems like it. I have white, pale skin; and yet I get annoyed when the reader is described with that. Wanna know why? Because my first thought is “My POC friends wouldn’t get enjoyment from reading this because they are being excluded.”

Instead of saying “Your pale skin”, think along the lines of describing the skin itself instead of the tone of it. Think along the lines of “glowing”, “vibrant”, “complected”, etc.

Also, stop assuming people don’t have acne. I hate seeing “He gazed at your unblemished and perfect skin” because bitch I don’t have that. Stop describing skin generically as being blemish free.

Thirdly, weight. Do some of you not understand that not every fanfic reader is thin? Because it seems that way to me. 

I am a large girl. Some of my friends are larger people. You know what depresses me and sucks me out of a story? Describing the MC as being a thin person, with a slender figure/frame. Not everyone fits that image, and it excludes me and others and makes me feel like we can’t fit into the story. People of ALL shapes and sizes read fanfiction.

If you cannot think of a general way to describe someone’s body shape then don’t describe their body shape at all.

Also, boobs; women don’t hyperfixate on them sweetheart. I do not think about my tits at all, unless I forgot a bra or am wearing something too tight. So guess what? Your female MC shouldn’t either.

Also, for an extra added bonus; stop assuming people don’t wear glasses. I need them to survive, and when you make it seem like the reader doesn’t have glasses on it sucks me out.

On the topic of physical descriptions

Do you know what a gender neutral fic is? Then write like it.

If you are writing a gender neutral fic, then DO NOT describe the body of the reader, unless you use gender neutral terms.

I have read so many “gender neutral fics” that are NOOOOT gender neutral. They describe the reader with a female’s body but “they/them” pronouns, and sweetheart, that is NOT how gender neutral works. 

If you cannot write gender neutral, do not market your fics like that, ESPECIALLY as NSFW fics.

I write in complete gender neutral unless it’s requested, so don’t say it’s impossible either. I have written sex scenes in gender neutral. I have written normal scenes as gender neutral. It is possible. You wanna know how?

Stop describing your reader, and focus on describing the scene, how they’re feeling, the love interest. Be basic and general with your descriptions. If you can’t write a sex scene without specifying genitalia, then don’t write gender neutral sex scenes.

If you can’t write a general fic without giving the GN reader explicitly male or female body stereotypes, then don’t write gender neutral.

There is nothing wrong with writing female targeted or male targeted fics, so LABEL them that way. Don’t market yourself as GN and then not write that way.

Feel free to add on with other tips/tricks if you would like. These are just the MAIN things that I have noticed as a reader.

[auror-lovie]

Fairytale: Fairytale (Newt Scamander)

━━━•✦.✧. Author’s Note.✧.✦•━

It’s a little sad :(

If you want to be added to my taglist, just send me an ask, PM, or fill out the taglist form.

The playlist should be linked up on "Find Playlists Here" under "Fairytale" in my bio.

━━━━━•✦.✧. About .✧.✦•━

After taking Grindelwald down, (Y/N) was nowhere to be found. Five years later, Newt is on babysitting duty and he tells the kids the story of a lost fairytale.

━━━━━•✦.✧. Notes .✧.✦•━

Word Count: 2.1k

Smol Angst.

Character Death

So… I’m learning Tagalog. If there are any Tagalog speakers out there that read this, tell me if anything is grammatically incorrect. I’m really nervous. Translations will be provided next to the phrase in italics.

References to “I Loved You, Mr. Scamander”

Surprise at the end~

━━━•✦.✧. Disclaimer .✧.✦•━

Let’s pretend that it only takes two years to take down Grindelwald and his organization after the events of Crimes of Grindelwald.

━━━━━━•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•━━━━━

|| general masterlist || series masterlist ||

Fairytale: Fairytale (Newt Scamander x Reader)

━━━━━━•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•━━━━━

It took only a couple years after what happened in Paris to fully take down Grindelwald. Leta was killed in the final battle and that left Theseus in shambles. When he returned to London, he apparated to a lonely flat. The place where the only person who would understand his pain lived- Victoria.

From there, the rest was history.

•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•

“Thanks for watching the kids, Newt. Theseus and I needed a day off.” Victoria said as her kids ran in the living room of Newt’s flat.

Theseus sighed. “Mei Anne Mendoza Scamander. Thaddeus Alden Mendoza Scamander, please stop running around. You’re sure to break something.”

Newt glanced at Theseus, his niece and nephew before looking back at Victoria. “It’s no problem. You know I love watching them…” He thought for a moment, “Merlin, those are long names…”

Victoria gave Newt a look, crossing her arms over her chest. “You’re one to talk, Newton Artemis Fido Scama-”

He chuckled, “Okay, okay. Point taken. Now off you go before you end up missing your reservation.”

Theseus walked over to Victoria, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Vi… Do something.”

Victoria smiled. “Watch and learn.” She slowly got out of Theseus’ embrace and walked to where the kitchen met the living room. Her children were still running around, laughing at their game of tag. Victoria giggled softly before clicking her tongue.

In a blink of an eye, Mei Anne and Thaddeus stopped and looked at their mother.

“Halika dito,” ‘Come here’ She said calmly. Mei Anne and Thaddeus slowly made their way to their mother.

“See what you did?” Thaddeus whispered to his sister.

“Me? You started running!” Mei Anne replied.

When the pair stood in front of their mother, they could feel her staring down at them. Victoria squatted, making sure she was at their level.

“Maging mabuti, okay?” ‘Be good?’ Victoria asked.

“Yes, nanay.” ‘Yes, mom.’ They answered.

“Promise?”

“Yes.” They nodded.

Victoria smiled and kissed their foreheads. “Okay, your father and I will see you later then. Don’t give Tito Newt a hard time. You can go back to playing, just stay where he can see you.”

Mei Anne and Thaddeus smiled before going back into the living room and looked at Newt’s bookshelf.

Victoria stood and walked over to the brothers who were staring at her in awe. “Close your mouth boys, you’ll catch flies.”

Newt and Theseus shook out of their amazement. “That’s amazing!” Newt said excitedly.

“I know. I find it fascinating whenever she speaks Tagalog. It seems the children like it when she speaks to them in another language.” Theseus praised.

Victoria rolled her eyes playfully. “Just wait until I teach them Japanese.”

“I thought you were Chinese?” Newt asked.

She hummed. “I am, but my mom and I were never exposed to our Chinese culture whilst we were growing up. She learned Japanese from her caretakers, and I learned it from my mom.”

“You can tell me more about it at dinner,” Theseus suggested.

“Right! Dinner!” Victoria exclaimed. “See you around ten?”

Newt nodded, “See you at ten.”

~*~*~

After showing Mei Anne and Thaddeus all his creatures, and feeding them dinner (Yes, because children need to eat real food Newton), it was time for them to get some sleep.

“But Uncle Newt… We’re not tired…” Thaddeus whined.

“Yeah, I wanna play with the Nifflers again…” Mei Anne added.

With both kids in his arms, he carried them over to the living room and set them down on the couch. “If I don’t get you to bed your mum would lecture me.”

Thaddeus shivered, quickly holding a couch pillow to his chest. “I don’t like mummy’s lecture voice. It’s calm, but something about it is scary.”

Newt chuckled, sitting on the floor in front of them. “How about I tell you a bedtime story.”

Mei Anne nodded. “Will you? We love bedtime stories!”

He nodded, “Alright then… Where do I start…”

Thaddeus cuddled close to his sister for warmth. Mei Anne took the couch blanket and set it over their laps. They both were quiet and attentive.

“It all started a long time ago. When a stable boy fell in love with the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Day after day, he’d go out and pick the best-looking sunflower from the community gardens and gift it to her.”

“These are for you, (Y/N). I hope you like them…” Newt mumbled, holding out a sunflower bouquet.

(Y/N) smiled, playing with the ends of her sleeve. “Newt! How did you know these were my favorite?”

“I remember you saying they were your favorite in Herbology once…”

“But Newt, that was in first year!”

Mei Anne smiled. “I want someone to give me sunflowers!”

Newt chuckled. “Soon they became friends. And even though they couldn’t see it, everyone around them was aware that they were in love.”

Newt turned the corner, looking for the Herbology book he needed for his essay. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he couldn’t help it. “Last time I checked, you were a Ravenclaw this morning,” Victoria asked.

“What are you talking about?”

A pause before he heard (Y/N) speak again. “O-Oh! I was just cold… That’s all…”

Newt put the pieces together- they were talking about how he gave her his robes.

“I was just cold! That’s all..” Victoria mimicked teasingly. “But seriously… Are you ever going to tell him?”

“No, I don’t think I will…”

And that’s when Newt left to find the book he needed. Of course, they quickly changed the subject. Sure, he was the topic of interest for a second, but he knew how Victoria could easily change the subject without the person knowing.

‘She would never like me in that way anyway.’ He thought.

“Although, things started to get in the way of their friendship. In their younger years, the stable boy started being around another girl. He thought he could manage his time between his first love and the new girl, but in the end, he chose to be around the new girl.” Newt sighed as he reminisced on all the missed moments he had with (Y/N).

Mei Anne grumbled. “Ugh. Boys are stupid. Why couldn’t he just tell her!”

Thaddeus looked up to his sister. “I’m not stupid!”

Mei Anne sighed and ruffled his hair. “Okay… Boys are stupid… Except you, Uncle Newt, dad, and Uncle Jacob.”

“Oh, don’t say that. I was… pretty dumb when it came to certain things.” Newt admitted.

“What happened when they got older?” Thaddeus asked, looking back to Newt.

Newt swallowed. He tried to think of a way to explain the past ten years without going into too much detail. “Well… The stable boy got into some trouble and ran away. He kept in touch with his first love through letters, but he was always on the run- looking for new creatures to study. When he finally returned to the village, he found out that his first love had fallen in love with someone else-”

“WHAT? But… But they were in love! How could she just… love someone else…?” Thaddeus interrupted.

“Because she didn’t know! As mum always said, you miss all the shots you don’t take.” Mei Anne added.

“Can I continue the story?” Newt asked, causing the children to stop rambling.

“Thing is… There was a war going on. So the stable boy’s first love had parted with her lover. Within that time, the stable boy and his first love started getting closer. He was so close to confessing his feelings. Until a monster took her away.

“Oooh, I bet it was a scary dragon!!” Thaddeus exclaimed.

“T, it wasn’t a dragon. It was probably some kidnapper!” Mei Anne

Newt sighed. “Hmm… I guess you could say he was a kidnapper. He used his words to trick people into following him. The stable boy spent day after day trying to find his lost love. He vowed that the moment he found her again… They’d have a brand new start.”

“And did he find her?” Mei Anne asked.

“Legend says that he’s still looking for her,” Newt said, ending his story.

KNOCK KNOCK

“And that’s your mum and dad!”

“But!! The story!!!” Thaddeus whined.

Newt stood to open the door, letting Victoria and Theseus inside. “I hope they weren’t too much trouble,” said Theseus.

“Uncle Newt was telling us a story about a stable boy and his first love!” Mei Anne cheered, the feeling of sleep disappearing.

Victoria looked at Newt, “Oh really?”

“Uh-huh! And the stable boy went through so much heartbreak and… His love was kidnapped and the stable boy is still trying to find her.” Thaddeus said, waddling over to his mom.

Theseus walked over to the couch to pick Mei Anne and carry her. “Oh… Such a sad tale. Did the stable boy ever find her?”

Mei Anne shook her head. “No… Uncle Newt said that he’s still trying to find her…”

Victoria sighed and picked up Thaddeus, who was tugging at her skirt and making grabby hands at her. “Yeah… Me too…” She muttered.

~*~*~

Another date night and Newt was on babysitting duty. Not like he minded. A popping sound echoed through the basement.

“I’ll see who it is, Uncle Newt!” Mei Anne yelled as she turned the corner. She saw a woman standing at the bottom of the basement stairs.

The woman looked down at Mei Anne in confusion. “W-Who are you? Where are your parents?”

Mei Anne walked closer to the woman, her eyes ever so observant. She tilted her head to the side when she realized who it was. “Aunty (Y/N)?”

“H-How do you know my name? Who are you?” (Y/N) asked, meeting Mei Anne halfway.

Mei Anne held her ground. “I’ve heard mum talk about you a lot.”

She squatted down to Mei Anne’s height. “So he married Tina, hm?”

“What? Are you talking about Aunty Tina? No… She’s mum’s friend.”

(Y/N) looked closer at the girl in front of her. Long black hair, soft blue-green eyes, slightly tan skin, and the cutest freckles on her face. Half of these were definitely Scamander qualities… but who was the other half? “It seems that you know my name, but I don’t know yours.”

“My name is Mei Anne Mendoza Scamander. I’m five years old and I have a little brother named Thaddeus Alden Mendoza Scamander!” She said proudly.

“Mei Mei, what’s taking you so long? Uncle Newt’s gonna show us Kelpie!!” Thaddeus exclaimed, turning the same corner. “Who’s this, Mei Mei?”

(Y/N) looked past Mei Anne to see her brother.

Thaddeus had nicely styled brown hair, dark brown eyes, and slightly tanned skin but a skin tone lighter than his sister’s. She swore that if he came closer, he’d have those Scamander freckles on his cheeks too.

She gasped, her hands covering her mouth. “Oh… How did I not see that? You two are almost sheer copies of your parents…”

Just then the door to the basement opened, “Mei Mei, Thaddeus, Newt! We’re here!” Victoria called out as they descended the stairs.

With every click of Victoria’s heels, (Y/N) had the urge to Disapparate out of there. That was until Mei Anne called out, “Nanay! Look who came to visit?”

Victoria quickly walked down the remaining steps, Theseus following close behind. “Who is it? Aunty Tina? Aunty Queenie and Uncle Jacob? Who could it be-” She stopped at the bottom of the steps and (Y/N) stood from her squatting position. They felt it.

The small bit of warmth from the charm bracelets they got all those years ago… “(Y/N)..?”

(Y/N) turned around slowly. “Hey, Vi… It’s me…”

Theseus smiled and softly pushed Victoria forward. “Don’t just stand here, hug her!”

“I missed you so much…” (Y/N) whispered as they shared a long hug. Soon, Theseus and the kids joined in on the hug.

When they all pulled away, Newt finally joined the rest. “Mei Mei, Thaddeus! Where have you two been? Have you found out who Apparated here? Victoria! Theseus! You weren’t supposed to be here until later- (Y/N)?” Newt rambled.

“Thanks again for watching the kids, Newton!” Victoria smiled. She then whispered something in (Y/N)’s ear before leaving with Theseus and the kids.

“(Y/N)...” Newt trailed off, shoving his hands into his pockets.

She smiled. “Hello, Newt.”

And all was well. It may have taken a while to adjust, but Newt and (Y/N) managed it. After all… it was their fairytale.

[sokkathebluewolf]

I am chickened out from gladiator because it is this long and it keeps getting longer is it worth my time to read it ??

... Uh, well. I can’t help but wonder if you’re aware this blog is run by the actual author of the story in question? I don’t know if you expect me to give you a non-biased answer when I’ve considered the story was worth 8 years of my life xD as far as I’m concerned, it absolutely has been worth it, but I can’t speak for the whole wide world when it comes to that. If you want the opinions of readers, there’s probably other blogs run by people who have read the story and who might have critical opinions about it... that may be what you were looking for. If, however, you were deliberately hoping to get my opinion on my own story... well, yes, for me it’s clearly worth it xD Otherwise, I would’ve quit ages ago.

The story is indeed very long and it keeps getting longer, and it will keep getting longer because we’re not done yet and won’t be for a while :’D if you’re the type of reader who can’t stand it when they catch up to stories and have to wait for updates, well, feel free to give it a shot when I’m done writing it, I guess? It’ll be a while until then, but it’s up to you. If you don’t like reading really long stories, then it’s probably better for you if you don’t force yourself to read this one, I know not everyone is ready to dedicate that much time to reading something, especially if they have lots of things to do. Hence, if the length daunts you, that’s alright, it daunts me too and I’m responsible for it xD it’s fine if that deters you from reading it.

But as the way you phrased your question almost sounded like you’re challenging me to give you some sort of sales pitch to catch your attention, let’s see if I can pull it off:

Gladiator is a massive ATLA AU, not only in terms of story length but also scope: it’s a complete rewrite of the entirety of ATLA in a more mature setting, starting chapter 1 with the characters 5 years older than they were in canon. Aang’s adventures in saving the world did not take place here because of a simple enough reason: Katara didn’t accompany Sokka on his boat on the fateful day when they were meant to find Aang, which means the story as we’ve known it simply doesn’t take place. I’ve taken liberties here and there, added some changes from canon when I needed to do so, in order to ensure the story works, but the gist of the story is to set a stage where the Fire Nation marched onwards, practically unopposed, and conquered the Earth Kingdom with the power of Sozin’s Comet (just in case it needs to be clarified, without certain technological developments, Ozai’s wild plan to incinerate the whole world wouldn’t happen, and if Team Avatar isn’t assembled before the Comet shows up, said technological developments simply wouldn’t exist... :’D). I’ve had to figure out how many details would change, how much of the original story would or wouldn’t happen without Team Avatar’s involvement, I think most my choices have been solid, but it’ll be up to you to decide if you think they are or not if you read the story.

The worldbuilding of Gladiator, then, is preeeetty huge and complicated because of that starting point. There’s a lot of elements that are completely new (such as the Gladiator League and all its derivates), some OCs, some lore expansion, so you can definitely say it’s an ambitious project. In a sense, I’ve reset canon to zero, and at the same time I haven’t, which makes things complicated but, for me, really fun to develop. If you’re interested in seeing more of the Avatarverse explored, characters repurposed, with new dynamics and relationships, Gladiator may just be what you’ve been looking for :D

In my experience, the main reason why most people stumble into this fic (other than by sorting FF.net’s ATLA stories by review count and drawing blanks upon glimpsing a Sokkla story on the first page xD) is because they’ve been drawn into Sokkla, or they’re looking for stories centered around Azula or Sokka. Gladiator, evidently, features all three such elements because, obviously, those two are the protagonists and their relationship is the beating heart of the whole tale. I’ve been asked in the past who’s the real protagonist and I honestly still have no idea xD but anyways, if you’re interested in reading a story with a toooooon of Azula character development, even if it takes place across a long, long time, this story may just do the trick. I’ve done the best I could to keep her character as true to what I believed a young adult Azula might become, within the circumstances of this story. She has grown a LOT in 200 chapters, goes without saying (if she hadn’t, I’d be one heck of a failure of an author x’D), so if you’re interested in seeing a slow but effective growth arc for Azula, you’ll certainly find that in Gladiator. Same is true for Sokka, but I think most people who come to this fic for Sokka are interested in seeing him being a badass, which we have plenty of as well xD still, it’s also a long and slow process for Sokka to grow into a powerful warrior, neither him nor Azula start out in the story with all the answers, and they both bump into many hurdles as they navigate their complicated lives.

There’s a lot of humor in Gladiator, perhaps more than expected with a story that has that sort of dark premise, but it’s, on great measure, because Sokka and Azula are inevitably given to banter xD if you want to read a lot of banter between those two, well, you may not be bored in 200 chapters because, while the nature of their exchanges does vary as they both develop, their conversations are usually pretty spirited and they love trying to outsmart each other all the time.

If you are already a Sokkla shipper and the main reason you’re here is because you want more Sokkla goodness in your life... I’ll just say Gladiator has become a bit of a dream come true for me as a Sokkla shipper as well, because it’s the perfect space for me to work with virtually every idea I’ve ever had for these two. Yes, there’s drama and conflict here and there, if you’re not too given to angst there’s a few parts of the story that won’t sit so well with you, though if you love angst you’ll probably enjoy them plenty... yet what I’m most proud of, with this story, is having developed their relationship not only as best I could, but I’ve also attempted to defy typical storytelling structures for romance stories, where the lead couple can’t seem to have a stable relationship because “that would be boring”. Screw that, man: these two have been in a serious relationship together in-story by now for well over half the published chapters, and I’ve had the time of my life writing their dynamics as a couple while the plot continues to develop around them. This, however, is not everyone’s cup of tea, so if you aren’t all that given to seeing such traditional romance storytelling structures dismissed because I wanted to write my favorite ship dealing with all their external struggles while finding strength in the bond they share, Gladiator may not hold your attention long enough for you to devote yourself to reading it beyond chapter 100-ish. On the other hand, if this subversion of romance structure is what you’ve been looking for all your life, or if it’s what you always wanted and never knew you wanted it, or if you’re simply curious as to whether it works or not, Gladiator may suit your interests fairly well. Again, Sokkla is the absolute center of this story, both together and independently, so if you want to see a rewrite of ATLA with them at the core of just... everything? xD that’s absolutely what you’ll find here.

That being said, there’s things I guess you should mind about Gladiator: I have some relatively controversial takes about certain things, including interpretations of fan-favorite characters that some people have been known to take offense over. I, personally, believe my interpretations of those characters don’t deviate that much from canon or that, when they do, the setting itself explains why the deviation works as it does, but due to the fact that I work with a protagonist who was in a villainous role back in ATLA, her relationships with some characters can be more complicated than a lot of people seem to believe they should be. Hence, if you’re not particularly adverse to reading content that brings up big questions about the motivations of certain characters, or how they’d react if the story from ATLA hadn’t happened exactly as it did, you’ll have enough fun in Gladiator. If, however, you don’t particularly care to see anything that shows beloved characters in a not-so-flattering light, this story may not be for you (though, if you’re willing to humor me and allow my story to question your perception of those characters, feel free to try the story as well). 

There’s also a variety of dark themes and situations in Gladiator, something that any reader should be warned about in this day and age: I am 100% against violence for the sake of violence, to name one such subject, and I generally try to portray it with as much nuance as possible, but even if I feature my own characters criticizing their violent world and wanting to put an end to the strife caused by the Fire Nation, some of the violence in Gladiator may be a little too much for the readers who prefer the tone of the original ATLA. Hence, if that’s how it is for you, it’s another reason to approach the story with caution. I won’t pretend I’ve handled every theme and subject perfectly, but I’ve never wanted the darker moments to feel gratuitous in any way, so if you’re open to reading a darker take on the Avatarverse, this may work for you after all.

Alas! If you want to see Azula growing out of the toxic Fire Nation indoctrination, if you want to see Sokka gaining confidence and strength as a man and warrior, if you want to see a fleshed-out but still very much villainous Ozai, if you want to see Toph fulfilling her dreams of joining an all-out fighting league where she can beat people up for a living, if you want to see a myriad of secondary ATLA characters (like Song, or Shoji!) given new lives and even genuine protagonism, if you want to see Zuko discovering he’s allowed to just... be happy? xD Gladiator may prove interesting enough for you.

Furthermore, if you want to see Azula being true friends with Mai and Ty Lee, discovering a dragon, developing new firebending styles, confronting her misplaced beliefs about herself, rebelling subtly (and lately, not so subtly) against her father, growing into a great leader who could change the Fire Nation’s nefarious direction...  aaand if you want to see Sokka fighting creatively (sometimes with TWO swords!), navigating the dangerous waters of interacting with Fire Lord Ozai, staying true to his beliefs while also learning that the world is not as black-and-white as he was raised to think it was, understanding himself better and making the most of his potential as a quick learner, writing embarrassing haiku and being an unapologetic rebel who goes toe-to-toe with Heads of State just because he can... yep. Probably read it? xD

Lastly... if you want to see Sokka and Azula grow through their mistakes, learning to understand each other, fighting side by side, training together, dancing to no music, learning the underrated pleasure of proper communication in a relationship, sassing each other left and right, flirting in ridiculous ways, taunting each other in many regards, laughing at each other’s terrible jokes, protecting each other fiercely, challenging each other to a spicy ramen eating contest, discovering indirect bending, being highly inappropriate at times and places where they shouldn’t be, making long, dangerous yet fun journeys together, sneaking around to meet up when they’re not supposed to, standing by each other in their darkest moments, watching over the other when they’re sick/injured, being ready to sacrifice virtually anything for each other, and even defying and defeating even death to save each other...? Well, I don’t know if there’s any other stories where you might find all of this, but I can guarantee you’ll find it in Gladiator :)

If none of this is convincing enough... that’s a shame, but I understand. If it convinced you to give it a shot, however... I guess I’ll just hope you enjoy it enough to stick around! :) thanks for taking my story into consideration regardless of whatever you decide. Have a nice day!

[elizabeth-mitchells]

the only touchstone of truth - I Care A Lot (2021) - Fran/Marla

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: I Care A Lot (2020) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Fran/Marla Grayson Characters: Marla Grayson, Fran (I Care A Lot) Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Origin Story, Canon Backstory, First Meetings, First Kiss, First Dates, Getting Together, Morally Ambiguous Character, Illegal Activities, Eventual Smut, Flirting, Partners in Crime, crime wives

Chapter 4:

Ever since that first day, when Fran caught her destroying her own shop in order to incriminate the enemy, she always found Marla to be a completely breathtaking woman. But this was a whole different level. When the big day finally arrived, Marla showed up to court ready to kill. She was wearing what Fran would’ve bet was a brand new suit that, much like the restaurant she visited, Marla probably could only afford out of sheer confidence in the fact that she knew she deserved luxury. Her striking blue eyes looked as brilliant as ever, mischievous when she met the other woman’s gaze, but ready to turn innocent and falsely vulnerable in front of the judge. However, this time Fran couldn’t tear her attention away from one very specific thing about Marla: her new haircut. Gone were the soft waves that fell lovingly over her shoulders. The short bob haircut was all about sharp edges, not a single blonde hair out of place, and it perfectly complemented Marla. Fran thought the new style was so on point that soon enough it would be difficult to even remember the way Marla looked before. And, like maybe things about Marla, Fran thought it was like an extremely sophisticated and gorgeous piece of armor that no anybody could completely decipher.

“Marla,” she greeted her outside of court with a grin on her lips to disguise the way her mouth suddenly felt dry at the sight of the blonde woman, “you look good.”

Not one for fake humility, Marla returned the smile, “Right?” she shook her blonde hair off her face, “Dress for winning, it’s a thing.”

“I already feel like a winner,” Fran couldn’t hold back her smile as she followed Marla inside the building.

“Will you behave ,” Marla retorted, looking at her over her shoulder with a teasing look, “at least until the trial is over?”

“I can’t make such promises,” the brunette laughed, walking just a little too close to Marla, just for the pleasure of hearing Marla’s chuckle in response and, yes, maybe also for the pleasure of standing so close to her. If Fran was being honest, she was more than a little excited to witness the trial. It was Marla’s first time in court but she could already tell it would be, not only a great success, but incredibly entertaining, exciting, even fascinating, considering Fran would be aware of Marla’s lies, tricks, manipulation of the facts, and frighteningly good acting.

They were ready for the show.

---

The thing is, judging by the way Marla walked away from the court that day, hardly anybody would have guessed that she just lost her case. Marla lost. She lost the case against the massive company that put her lawful little shop out of business in the blink of an eye. It wasn’t even for honest reasons, like discovering that she incriminated them, no. She lost because there was money in between, hanging from a thread in front of the judge’s head like a carrot taunting him to go for the best bidder. She lost, not because she played dirty, but because the game was already rigged, and there were better, or worse depending on where you stand, players ahead of her. Not for long , she bitterly told herself, walking the long hallways with her head held high, jaw clenched, demeanor perfectly controlled, blond hair swaying only slightly.

“Marla.”

And then there was the voice that made her feel perfectly uncontrolled by simply calling out her name.

“Not now, Fran,” she whispered, aware that she could only keep her strong and unaffected facade for so long.

“ Marla ,” Fran repeated her name, somehow managing to sound firm and gentle at the same time. This time she caught up with her, and added a tentative touch to the other woman’s elbow.

Marla gritted her teeth. She couldn’t afford to lose her cool in public. She highly doubted she’d cry for this misstep. She didn’t think she’d lose her temper either, not exactly. But a breakdown was just waiting to happen. All she needed was an escape and, luckily, she knew the right spot for it. She couldn’t believe that there, out of all places, she could think of a safe place to land. Though, then again, maybe it wasn’t about the secluded hallway where she’d first kissed Fran. Maybe it was all about Fran’s company. Either way, silently, the two women made their way to that secret spot once more, even if this time their spirits were the entire opposite to those of the previous occasion.

This time Marla was the one to lean her back against the wall. She didn’t look completely defeated, not even when there was Fran in front of her, with worried eyes staring at her. But she did look exhausted. It was a look that didn’t exactly fit with the image Fran had of Marla Grayson in her mind.

“Are you okay?” Fran asked first. As an answer, she received a particular look from the blonde that she wasn’t all capable of deciphering just yet, but at least she understood two things. One, she wouldn’t get much more of an answer. Two, she desperately wanted to get to that place where she would be beyond capable of reading Marla’s silents looks effortlessly. “I’m sorry,” she blurted out next, “I should have… I should have warned you, I guess. This happens all the time, it’s never fair, really. Justice is bullshit, Marla, really. I just thought, I really thought-”

“I’m sorry about your money, Fran,” Marla stopped the younger woman in her tracks with her words and the movement of her hand toward Fran’s cheek. It was obvious that neither of them would get any money out of this failed plan.

“Don’t worry about that,” Fran’s frown deepened and she shook her head just lightly but still Marla dropped her hand and she instantly missed the contact. There was a heavy silence between them. No money. No celebration. No case to prepare for. This couldn’t be an ending for them, could it? “What are you going to do now?” Fran asked carefully. Marla had been clear on the fact that she’d have to close her shop either way.

“Now?” Marla took a deep breath and straightened in place. Wearing her high heels she was just slightly taller than Fran, so she could lean down and leave a heart-stoppingly intimate kiss on the corner of the other woman’s lips. “I need to leave,” she whispered, finally a hint of pain cracked its way to the tone of her voice, and she immediately started taking the steps that would take her away from there, alone.

“Wait,” Fran said, turning around quickly and reaching out to hold Marla’s hand. She had to think, and quickly.

The two of them were almost complete opposites in some ways, but they also shared a great deal of things in common. Neither of them was sure if this was a blessing or a curse, if it made their interaction perfect or impossible. Fran knew that for nobody else she would have offered her hand this way, so soon, so easily. But in this situation, one of them had to.

“I still care about you, okay?” Fran confessed, squeezed Marla’s hand once, then let her go.

---

There was a lot of driving. That’s how Fran would describe the couple of days immediately after the failure at the court. She had quite a few errands to run and things to take care of, but she also simply enjoyed the driving around. When she drove her bike it was easier to quiet down her racing thoughts. Half of her mind on the road, and half of it on one issue at a time. There were plenty of issues though. Most of them had the indelible mark of one Marla Grayson. That might have been the reason that on so many of those long bike rides to clear her thoughts, the only thing Fran really achieved was failing to fool herself into thinking it was an accident how often she drove past Marla’s shop.

Three days later, she finally had a reason to stop by.

They were clearly emptying the store. It was mostly just Marla and Curtis with a truck waiting outside. By the time Fran parked, Marla noticed, and stood still outside the shop, observing the process, the death of her American dream. At first sight, Fran thought Marla still was the most beautiful woman she’d ever met. She was wearing comfortable clothes, her short hair held back in a little ponytail, and she’d clearly been working for a while. Fran wouldn’t say Marla looked like she was back to herself, back to the person she was before the fiasco at the court. That wouldn’t have been truthful. There was a significant change in Marla Grayson, Fran just had to figure it out. However, she did look strong and brilliant as ever, so she took that as a good sign as she approached her.

“Moving out?” Fran blurted out. She slowly walked closer, tilted her head, and squinted her eyes, the sun was unforgiving that day.

“I couldn’t have run a vape shop my whole life I guess,” Marla gave a half-hearted shrug in response. This wasn’t their best way to greet each other, they weren’t at their best, and the uneasiness around them was suffocating.

“Some you win, some you lose,” the brunette mumbled. It was nothing, a mindless repetitive phrase, but she should have seen the answer coming. Either way, she was glad to hear it.

“I don’t lose, Fran,” the other woman turned to look at her. “I won’t lose,” Marla added, looking back at the front of her dead store.

Fran nodded, holding back a smile, “Alright.”

This moment wasn’t entirely different from that first day. Attraction, chemistry, magnetism, something had pulled them to each other. Something had told them that if they could have easily gone to bed together that first night, maybe all could have ended the next morning. Something had clicked in their minds on that first conversation that convinced them that the other one was worth more than that. So they held back, and held on to each other, but how much longer could they wait before either giving up or crossing a line. Because their desire was obvious, but at this point, the risks were just as unavoidable. There was too much on the line, they were each getting too close to hearts that had chosen not to let anyone else in. One peek past the curtains they each held over the parts of themselves that weren’t carefully crafted weapons to face the world on that personal battle they each had picked, and it could all come crumbling down. How could they dare to try vulnerability? What if they liked it? How could they let each other in? How could they trust, and care? What if it worked? Going after something that could be perfect was too much of a risk. It would be easier to let go.

The problem, or rather salvation, was the fact that every time the idea of giving up popped in her mind, Marla was fiercely reminded of the fact that she simply doesn’t give up. She doesn’t lose. She’s determined to be successful. She’s confident in her ability to go for what she wants, but this one situation is way beyond that, isn’t it? Can she keep something, someone , and care for her as fiercely as she knows she could if only she wanted to? Could Fran be the one success she wants and needs more than she even realizes? Would Fran even want that?

This time it was Marla who reached out and caught Fran’s hand in hers and turned to look at her with unusual sincerity lighting up her blue eyes. “Thank you for everything, Fran,” she said.

The smile that Fran sent her way then was enough to make every risk worth it. “Don’t need to thank me,” Fran squeezed her hand once and started to pull away, seemingly satisfied with this interaction. It looked like both of them had reached a new understanding of what they wanted. “I’ll let you get back to work,” Fran added, not overjoyed to let go of the other woman’s hand.

“Oh, you’re not staying to help?” Marla called after her, a smile appearing on her lips.

Fran sent a playful grimace in the way of the shop. “Maybe next time,” she replied. They both laughed. Assuming Marla would have another business go bankrupt or not, either way, Fran would consider herself lucky to return and help her. “Call me,” she added, just a little more seriously, even if they were both still wearing matching smiles, “ when you’ll get in trouble again.” No need to pretend this was an “if”  kind of situation.

---

The clothes were convenient. Marla just happened to have black pants and a black sweatshirt. The plan though, the plan was perfect, she knew that from the start. Of course, she hadn’t played fair from the beginning, but no one could know just how far she would go to come out as a winner. However, the fire behind her might be a good sign.

Marla simply couldn’t hold back her grin as she sneaked away from the big building. It had been surprisingly easy to set fire to the company that had ruined her business, now it was just a matter of finding out just how flammable vaping products were. She’d crafted a perfect plan, so she could pull it off only with Curtis’ help. The only trick was walking away separately, in opposite directions.

The fire, smoke, and the alarms behind her were a perfect backdrop and Marla had almost made it out and away from the crime scene when on the last alleyway she was thrown down to the ground.

“Fuck,” Marla cursed, ignoring the questions that the man, likely a security guard that was way too late to do his job, was trying to ask her. The fall wasn’t too bad, but he was raising his fist, and if he started to punch or kick her there on the ground, it couldn’t end well.

That’s when they were both blinded by sudden bright lights. There was an instant of panic in Marla’s heart, fearing she’d been too slow, she’d failed, the police had arrived first. Did they catch Curtis too? Was this her end?

“Hey, step away from her!” Fran yelled as she pushed the man away from Marla.

The man stumbled, but now that he was provoked he decided it was an excuse enough to hit two women. But he had no idea of the darkest tricks that Fran carried on her sleeve though. She was agile, clever, stronger than she looked like, and knowledgeable in exactly the right ways to leave a man unconscious in a matter of seconds without causing much damage.

There was a bit of silence after the stranger’s body hit the ground. Then Marla exclaimed, “Fran!” She sounded delighted, a little out of breath, completely marveled.

Marla was still on the ground, she’d observed the struggle with wide eyes, a glowing smile and, at first, a pang of fear for the other woman’s safety that later she would realize was a sign of how deep in trouble she truly was.

“Did you call for a ride?” Fran said to her, offering a hand to help her get up, “Couldn’t get you a getaway car, I hope my bike will be enough.”

She barely had time to finish her sentence. As soon as Marla was on her feet and eye to eye with the brunette she pulled her in into a long-overdue kiss. Her lips latched onto Fran’s eagerly, mindless of trying to mask how badly she wanted this. It was incredible the way relief and excitement sparked up like fireworks when their lips touched, again and again.

“Thank you,” Marla sighed, pulling back for a moment to stare in awe at the woman in her arms, gently brushing Fran’s wild hair off her face.

Fran tilted her head, held Marla closer, and said, “Arson, huh? Didn’t think that was your style.”

“I’m full of surprises.”

“I see,” Fran mumbled, their lips already meeting again. She couldn’t get enough of Marla, her lips moved instinctively, without holding back at all. Almost at the same time, they started to hear police sirens in the distance. “ Someone ,” Fran stole another kiss and pulled away, “should arrest you right now.”

Marla demanded another kiss, and when she slowly pulled away, her teeth teasingly pulled on Fran’s bottom lip. “You,” Marla whispered. She got somewhat distracted by moving to kiss down Fran’s jaw, then focusing on her neck, losing her mind over the sigh that escaped the woman’s lips, which in Marla’s mind sounded perfect coupled with the police sirens in the background. “Did you forget your handcuffs, officer?” Marla added in a playful tone, her hands desperately pulling Fran closer to her.

“I quit the police, Marla,” Fran announced with a breathy laugh prompted by a particular bite on her neck.

The news forced Marla to pull away, and this time she looked at Fran without even the slightest effort at disguising her desire. “Take me home right now,” Marla said very slowly, the sirens were getting closer.

Fran leaned in again and kissed her, much slower, not any less passionately. Her hand rested on Marla’s cheek, her nails grazed her gently. When she pulled back she was wearing that perfect smirk that drove the blonde crazy. She held Marla’s hand and pulled her toward the bike waiting behind them.

“It’s a better alibi for you if we go to my house instead,” Fran winked.

They drove away just as the police pulled over on the other street, completely oblivious to the couple of women that would get away that night with one of many little crimes they would commit together in their lifetime.

[denizincarptigiseyy]

5 Ways to Know if Your Product Concept is a Winner

Hundreds of brand-new products launch monthly. Just a fraction of those gets enough traction to be considered effective.

Naturally, there are the exemptions-- the outbreak successes that most of us become aware of: Snapchat, Uber, and certainly Pokémon Go.

Although that's not likely to be your product, you can still knock it out of the park. But how do you test market demand early to understand if your concept is a winner?

Throughout my occupation, I've assisted release a dozen effective software including GoToMeeting, AppFolio, and also ProductPlan. I have learned five effective methods that entrepreneurs make use of to find out whether their product will be successful-- before they launch their product.

These methods won't assure success, but will dramatically increase your odds. In my case, these techniques led to products that today currently create numerous countless dollars in revenue yearly. see also InventHelp gets great inventions from the mind to the market

1. Before Anything Else, Locate an Issue Worth Resolving

Before investing a cent on growth, I speak with 10-20 possible consumers to understand the problem I'm solving. This is before I tell them concerning the product features, prices, or just how it's going to change their lives.

I call these "trouble exploration" meetings. They're comprehensive conversations, often performed personally, and last in between 30-60 minutes. They're developed to not just extensively comprehend the troubles but to find out whether the trouble is worth resolving in the first place. A problem needs to be high sufficient on a consumer's top priority list to be thinking about your item.

For example, in the very early interviews for GoToMeeting we found out that other online conference items were awkward, feature puffed up, as well as difficult to budget. By extensively understanding these troubles, we established a product that was less complicated to use, with fewer features, with all-you-can-use rates. Within a short time, that product became a smash hit success.

In very early conversations with customers as well as capitalists, numerous entrepreneurs lead with the product summary and functions. I think this is a mistake-- by not understanding the problem extensively, numerous products fizzle. I assume the solitary crucial trick to item success is asking the right questions regarding their issues.

Here are some concerns you can utilize to recognize whether the issue is necessary sufficient to solve:

" Just how are you fixing that problem today?"

" What is most irritating concerning your current remedy?"

" Where is solving this trouble on your concern listing?"

" If you resolve that issue, how much money will you save/make?"

" What does an effective year for you look like?"

2. It's Not a Service Unless You Can Offer

Numerous entrepreneurs introduce their item and also after that question why their sales are anemic. Exactly how do you understand beforehand whether consumers will pay for your item?

In my experience, knowing how to sell the item in a repeatable means is more important than the product itself. In a feeling, you're verifying sales, not simply validating a product.

For every single effective item I've launched, I formerly had test-sold the item to a minimum of 20 clients. My belief is entrepreneurs do not need a totally useful item to discover whether clients will purchase. My early examination sales are frequently from a slide deck or a harsh prototype.

By test-selling, you can learn about the sales cycle, whether your target customer is the real decision-maker, whether they have a budget to purchase, as well as better fine-tune your rates. Find out more advice by check out InventHelp inventions

If you don't have sales skills or can't manage denial, get over it, and also pick up the phone.

3. Customer Purchase Prices are the Trick to Success

You have seen it before: Incredible products that release with a bang and then could not attain enough traction to make the numbers pencil out. Numerous business owners don't extensively understand just how they will certainly get customers and then how much those consumers will cost to get.

The guideline is straightforward: A customer's procurement expense needs to be dramatically less than their lifetime value. So numerous entrepreneurs go in blind on these standard metrics when introducing items. There are very easy as well as cost-effective experiments that you can utilize to test purchase prices.

At ProductPlan, before we had created any kind of line of code, we established a touchdown page. This primitive web site was designed to check whether anyone was searching for software applications like ours as well as to find out whether the messaging we had defined resonated with our target audience.

We then drove website traffic to the touchdown web page making use of Google Adwords and LinkedIn Ads. We targeted item managers with search phrases that they might make use of to look for a remedy like ours. Once they pertained to our touchdown web page they were motivated to register for an early version of our product.

The experiment was a success because we discovered a lot concerning the purchase cost-- how much it cost to bring somebody to our website, the clickthrough price on advertising and marketing, what percent of people registered for more info, as well as extra.

Via this process, we might roughly estimate the conversion rates as well as purchase prices for every step of the sales channel.

Maybe extra significantly, these potential customers gave their get in touch with information. We then reached out to them to have much deeper conversations about the problem, item attributes, as well as rates.

It was a goldmine of information, as well as we spent less than $1,000 on this straightforward experiment.

4. Know This: Your Original Product Concept is Possibly Wrong

For every single product I've created, the end product we launched was dramatically various from the original idea we began with. Through meetings as well as experiments, we were able to test our assumptions, throw out poor suggestions, reveal cutting-edge features, and tweak our prices.

When we were confirming ProductPlan, we thought our market would certainly be limited to item managers at the software application business. By talking with loads of product managers we uncovered our market was a lot wider and also included business in media, health care, retail, and extra.

Commonly business owners invest an extreme amount of time on company plans and also spreadsheets that are a work of fiction. Or worse, they release their item based on their original suggestion and afterward lose time as well as resources transforming the item and rates to much better fit their market. That's in reverse.

Business owners can obtain closer to the truth-- and construct a better product-- by examining their assumptions before introducing them. Several misuses the "Lean Start-up" technique to throw pasta against a wall surface and also after that wish that people buy. And also when people do not buy (or buy in low numbers) the business owner wastes beneficial time.

Rotating your item ideas throughout this very early validation as opposed to after you have built the product is considerably more affordable.

The method entrepreneurs can test their presumptions: create them down and then go out to check them to see if they resonate with potential consumers specialists (for example, analysts for the industry, individuals who have been employed by the industry, experts, and so on). A healthy and balanced dosage of suspicion goes a long way.

5. Perfect is the Enemy of Great-- Simply Launch Your Item Concept

I'm a believer that business owners should embark on the cliff. This implies, especially for software, that you must introduce as early as feasible.

Reid Hoffman, the creator of LinkedIn, notoriously stated, "If you are not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you have introduced far too late."

I'm not stating that you don't have a terrific first-time client experience. Commonly individuals do not offer you a 2nd opportunity if your product simply does not work. Yet if you are addressing an issue that allows enough, consumers will certainly forgive you if the experience isn't excellent.

With software, in particular, it's feasible to introduce swiftly with a marginal function set if the product supplies adequate worth. If a handful of clients are willing to pay, it suffices and you can enhance gradually.

Launching very early gives you no much better method to determine if you are on the right track. Many entrepreneurs waste time by attempting to assume every situation, please every consumer, as well as make sure every function is included.

A business owner I understand was passionate regarding launching a new mobile application he was certain would certainly be popular. He spent months developing it. He spent countless dollars on mobile programmers and also ultimately took out a second mortgage on his residence to place the finishing touches on the application before releasing. As soon as he ultimately introduced, he was shocked he had so a couple of downloads. It was a depressing, expensive lesson.

Entrepreneurs need to invest even more of their time at the front end-- discovering the troubles out there and validating whether someone will certainly purchase the product-- before they build as well as launch. If you do a reliable task at this front end, the building and introducing the product comes to be so much easier. You're also acquiring evidence for prospective financiers.

There is no other way to methodically recognize with assurance whether you'll succeed. By using these techniques and also launching early you can enhance your probabilities drastically.

https://www.instagram.com/inventhelp/?hl=en

[recentanimenews]

OPINION: How Umineko Changed My Entire Approach to Fictional Media

All screenshots captured on Playstation 3 by author

  The following article contains a discussion of thematic elements and motives that appear during the second half of Umineko When They Cry. While no actual plot details will be revealed, some might still consider it spoilery. So if you want to experience one of the greatest pieces of fiction ever completely untainted, you should check it out on Steam right now.

  The internet is pretty rad, isn't it? You can follow your favorite creators, watch tons of awesome shows, and talk about your favorite things with other people. How about we do that right now? Well, too bad, because YOUR FAVORITE THING IS BAD, ACTUALLY! You made the mistake of posting about it online, so prepare to be sent lots of negative comments linking to 5-hour video essays pointing out every single flaw about your favorite story and why you are wrong for enjoying it!

    It's a situation I'm sure many of us have experienced at least a couple of times online. While the internet can be fantastic for finding like-minded people to chat with about things you deeply love, it can also be a gamble and sometimes you end up in a discussion where your conversational partner seems more interested in showing off their intellectual superiority over a work instead of openly discussing its merits or flaws. I certainly know — I used to be one of them.

  "As I've eaten my way through countless tales to escape boredom, I haven't really been eating them. I've just been killing them." - Hachijo Tohya

  The rise of social media has opened the gates for some incredible in-depth discussion and has changed the way I experience things over the years. But there is also a dark side to the discussions on the internet and that is the trap of wanting to feel intelligent in how you approach stories, which is often accompanied by not really being emotionally earnest. I myself tried to come off as perceptive by pointing out so many mistakes and bad things about media which led to exactly one thing: me becoming absolutely miserable. All I cared about was consuming as many things as possible (FOMO's also one of the many downsides of social media) and appearing as "smart" about them as I could. Until one fateful 10-month stretch in which I played a certain visual novel known as Umineko When They Cry.

    Umineko really is tailor-made for catching people with that mindset: It depicts a mystery story about how mystery stories are told and consumed — and what genre would be more fitting to challenge someone concerned with intellectual superiority than one that is all about the clash of Author vs Reader? 

  "Books aren't a competition. It's not about who's read the most. But boasting that you've read all your ever need to read is just as wrong-headed" - Battler Ushiromiya

  Umineko starts off with a well-known mystery trope: A family meets up in a mansion on a distant island, gets cut off by a storm, and then slowly gets murdered one after the other until everyone is dead. And just as in Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None (which served as one of Umineko's main inspirations), a bottle detailing the events of the incident to the public eventually washes ashore. But this only serves as Umineko's prologue, as its main character Battler quickly finds himself facing off against a self-proclaimed Golden Witch known as Beatrice on a meta-narrative level where he must prove these gruesome killings could have been committed by a human culprit, or be forced to acknowledge her existence and allow her to fully revive.

    Thus begins a game of chess filled with exceedingly preposterous murders in which our protagonist's family gets killed by demons, giant goat butlers, and sharpshooting bunny girls — all supplemented by the so-called Red Truth, a truth-revealing tell not unlike Martha's vomiting in Knives Out. Battler must use these authorial proclamations and find a loophole that enables him to explain the murders in a way that does not frame any of his beloved family members as the killer and still allows him to deny the existence of the gruesome and torturous witch.

    Umineko's all about how stories are perceived and told by both their creator and their audience. It explores how remarks by the author in every situation — no matter how off-hand they might be — can be used, applied, and twisted to shed a completely different light on a story regardless of its original intent. It shows how adding meaning to a narrative that wasn't meant to be there can both add to or subtract from its most important element: The heart its creator wanted to convey.

  "If I had found meaning in only exposing the truth, I would have sunk to the level of a truth-revealing witch and fallen into ruin, spreading only hatred, [...], crushing and refusing to acknowledge anything but the particular truth I seek, unable to escape the cycle of misery." - Ange Ushiromiya

  Umineko goes through many different angles of how we create, share, and discuss the tales that fuel our discourse. It ponders the importance of rules when creating storylines and tackles how easy it is to overlook major themes and motives by just focussing on minute details that are open to misinterpretation and irrelevant to a story's soul. It even includes the typical misanthropic yet oh so intelligent detective that usually gets idolized in most media (think BBC's Sherlock or House, M.D.) and puts them at odds with every other character because who would really want to cooperate with someone that completely disregards you as an equal human being and merely perceives you as an amalgation of hints, motives and alibis?

  "Sheesh! Just one more step and I'd have been able to take a heart as innocent as the smooth sand just after a wave had pulled back and tear it to bits. What a shame. This isn't fun anymore." - Erika Furudo

  And just when you start to really get into Umineko, it moves away from its main conflict, providing you important hints for its solution which most readers ignore as they aren't presented with facts and logic but on an emotional level distanced from the characters we long to get back to. But most importantly, it conveys how one single element is so indispensable to enjoying the narrative odysseys we embark on in our lives, to cherishing the characters that are presented to us in these tales, and to truly understand a story's message behind things like story developments, plot twists, and narrative tricks. I, of course, am talking about love.

  Be it the love you feel for characters, for certain staging elements, phrasings of prose, orchestrations of music, design of sound effects, implementations of themes and motives, or cinematographic puzzle pieces — the one thing that is indispensable to truly enjoy all kinds of media, is love. Or, to quote Umineko directly, "Without love, it cannot be seen."

    By the time, I was nearing the end of Umineko's eight main chapters, it had transformed from an intellectual battle between author and reader to an all-out war of a story against its community of readers who simply wanted to tear it down to cold, hard "facts." I had spent ten months and over 100 hours. The first half took eight of those months to get through (owing to a few lengths in Episodes 2 and 4), I finished the second half in less than two despite my busy schedule. I even dedicated a whole 15-hour marathon to the final episode as I was too glued to the grand finale to move away from it.

    A new me came out the end. I no longer had an interest in tearing apart media for minor missteps. I enjoyed them much more deeply and honestly and began taking my time with the things I consumed. Instead of filling my plate at the buffet of stories as much as I could, I gave each dish its own course on the menu so I could appreciate its flavor in a different way — one bite at a time and not stuffed up simply to give the outward appearance of a seasoned gourmet. And for that, I will never be able to thank Ryukishi07 and his co-creators at 07thExpansion enough.

  "The point of theory-making is not to create a culprit or to trample the truths that lie in the hearts of those who have not sinned. If you want to play detective, don't neglect the heart. Otherwise, we're just intellectual rapists. Don't forget it!!" - Willard H. Wright

  If you are interested in reading Umineko When They Cry, you can find both its Question Arcs and its Answer Arcs on Steam, GOG, and MangaGamer. You can also read the manga adaptation digitally on Bookwalker (though I personally recommend the visual novel for its award-worthy soundtrack alone).

  What work of fiction has touched your life in a profound way? Tell us in the comments!

      René Kayser works for Crunchyroll as a PR and Social Media Manager in Germany. You can find him on Twitter @kayserlein where he tries to get people into Umineko every single day.

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[prettyinlimegreenboots]

aaand another - “If you don’t open up that door on the count of three, I will start huffing and puffing!”

Kat was talking with Albert and Race when the front door had opened, promptly closed, and another door slammed. Looking at the clock, it was 5:30, the normal time Jack would be arriving home. 

Looking at the two, she shrugged her shoulder, excusing herself before walking over to the closed bedroom door. Placing her hand on the knob, she tried turning it only to find it locked. 

“Jack, you okay?” 

“Leave me alone!” His voice was muffled, and it sounded as if he was underwater and tired. 

Putting a hand on the door, she sighed. “Do you need anything?” 

“No. Just want to be alone.” 

Kat flinched at the tiredness of his voice and nodded. “Ok. Race and Albert are here if you want to talk with them.” 

“I’ll be out in a bit. Just need some time to wrap my head around something.” He paused for a moment before adding, “I love you.”

She smiled, sadly. “I love you too.” 

Returning to the living room, she gave the two a tight smile. “Jack okay?”

“He said he’s wrapping his head around something.” Kat mumbled, looking at Race. “If he’s not out in an hour, you can go talk to him.” 

Race nodded, as Albert switched the conversation to something mindless. But Race and Kat were both concerned with the man locked in the room. 

An hour later, after Albert said his goodbyes and there were promises to keep him updated on Jack, Race and Kat stood in front of the door. 

“Jack?” Kat softly knocked on the door, waiting to hear a response. 

The seconds that followed were painfully quiet. “Yea, Kat?”

“You doing any better?” 

There were another couple of seconds of silence. “A little but not ready to come out yet.”  

Kat looked at Race, tears clouding her eyes. He smiled at her before his lips stretched into a grin. “If you don’t open up that door on the count of three, I will start huffing and puffing!”

A strangled giggle escaped Kat’s mouth as she gasped at her brother-in-law. “One …..”

Silence. 

“Two ….” 

Silence. 

“Th—-”

The door flew open, as the two of them jumped back in surprise. “You are worst than a god damn border collie.” 

Both of them took a moment to look Jack over. His eyes were red from crying, his face looked as if he had aged 10 years in 8 hours, and he was overall tired. 

He shuffled back to the bed before crawling into it, burying himself in the blankets and pillows. The two exchanged looks before walking into the room. Kat immediately climbed into the bed, rubbing her hand through Jack’s hair while Race stood there awkwardly, hands in his pocket, visibly upset at whatever had upset his brother. 

“It was a horrible day at work.” Jack started. “It didn’t start off that way though.” 

He opened his eyes, looking at Kat before patting the other side of the bed for Race. Toeing off his shoes, Race joined them on the bed as Jack reached for his hand. “Did you hear about that apartment fire in Midtown?” 

Kat and Race both shook their heads. “It started about 11am. I was already in Midtown, taking photos of an exhibit that’s going to open. So I was one of the first photographers on scene and it was just bad.”

He took several deep breaths, squeezing Race’s hand and leaning into Kat’s comfort. “People were stumbling from the burning building, covered in ash and soot. People were on the fire escape but couldn’t get down until the fire department got there.” 

“Was everyone okay?” Kat whispered, squeezing Jack’s other hand and leaving a kiss on his forehead. 

“As far as I know, yeah.” He nodded. “But some of the photos I took are haunted. Just raw and the details are kinda burnt into my brain.” 

Running a hand through his brother’s hair, Race smiled. “That’s what you’re so damn good at your job, Jack. You show the rawness of the human race and all with a camera. You don’t shy away from fear or sadness or happiness in your photos.” 

Squeezing his hand, Jack gave him a half smile. “So why is this hurting you so much more than any of the other building fires you’ve covered? You’ve covered so much more tragedies than this. Why is this one staying with you?” 

“There was a little girl. She couldn’t have been more than 5. She was pushed out onto the stoop of the apartment building and was too stunned to do anything - almost like she was frozen and couldn’t move. People pushed by her trying to escape but she just stood there.” He paused, trying to catch his breath. “No one stopped to help her. I was close enough so I picked her up and brought her towards the street so we were close enough for someone to find her but out of danger.” 

Tears clouded his eyes, silence in the room, giving him time to work through whatever he needed to. “She has the biggest brown eyes I’ve ever seen on a little girl. She clung to me as if she knew something had happened to her family. We stood there and watched people spill out of the building, not saying anything. I didn’t even get her name.” He sighed. “Finally after like 30 minutes, her aunt came out and she gasped and yelled her name. They were reunited - tears, hugs, and rushed thank yous to me before they left. I can’t imagine what was going through her mind in those 30 mins, not knowing if her family was safe or not.”

“Oh Jack. I’m so sorry.” Kat whispered, kissing his forehead. “That’s tough, and thankfully she had you looking out for her.” 

Race smiled. “It should be no surprise you did that.” 

“In what way?” Jack asked, looking at his younger brother. 

Chuckling, Race shook his head. “You always look for the needy, the ones that need help. You were always the first person we would go to at Medda’s - you were a best friend, brother, father-figure to everyone at that house. You were always looking out for us and protecting us, even when we were grown. It’s no wonder that little girl clung to you while she waited - she knew you were safe for whatever reason.” 

“Thanks, Race.” 

Squeezing his brother’s hand, Race just grinned. “Just doing my brotherly duty. Need to make sure your brain doesn’t get too big.” 

“And the special brotherly moment we were just having is over.” Jack shook his head. 

Race chuckled. “This version of Jack, the mopey and sad one just isn’t you and while it’s rare for it to happen, we’re always here for you. No matter what.” 

Jack smiled. “Thanks for the whole huffing and puffing bit.” 

“It always worked at Medda’s - figures it might work here as well.” Race shrugged with a grin. 

Kat looked between the two. “What was going to happen if he got to three?” 

“The door would’ve come off one way or another.” Jack chuckled. “Smalls was notorious for locking herself in a bathroom or a room so Race came up with that saying, letting whoever know that if the door wasn’t opened by 3, the door was coming down one way or another.” 

Kat laughed. “Did you ever take the door down?”

“Uhhh….” Race threw his head back and laughed loudly. “Jack you wanna tell the story?” 

Jack chuckled. “Smalls was being a pain in the ass and going through the typical teenager drama. She was the only girl in the house outside of Medda and Chance hadn’t arrived yet. She was in a pissy mood from the time I picked her up from school and none of my usual tricks were working to get her to chat. I must’ve pissed her off because as soon as we got home, she booked it to her bedroom and refused to come out.” 

“By this time, we had perfected the phrase but Race was the only one that could pull it off perfectly. So when he gets home, he walks up to the door and does it. It’s absolute silence and no movement at all.” 

Race is laughing so hard that tears are streaming down his face. 

Taking a deep breath, he calms himself enough to finish the story. “So I walk downstairs and tell Jack that we need to take the door off. Jack runs downstairs and gets some tools; meanwhile, Medda is just walking through the door and sees us all standing around. I clue her in just as Jack walks up the stairs and she tells us not to take the door off but just the doorknob. Well we do that and push open the door only to find Smalls passed out on the bed sound asleep.” 

At that point, Jack and Race both lose it and just start laughing which then pulls Kat into laughing until they all have tears streaming down their faces. 

“Oh my gosh I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.” Jack slapped Race on the back. “Thanks Race.”

Kat wiped her eyes from the unshed tears. “Do you feel better?”

“I do and it’s all thanks to you both.” Smiling at them, Jack shook his head. “I love you both.”

Race stood, out his shoes back on before heading for the door. “Love you too Jackie.”

“Where are you going?” Jack asked, giving a classic older brother eyebrow raise, questioning look. 

Sticking his hands in his pocket, Race grinned. “Spot’s been blowing up my phone wondering where I was so I gotta go make it up to him.” 

“Ugh never mind me asking.” Jack pulled a face while Race blew him a kiss. 

“Love you too Jackie and Plums.” He paused grinning. “If you don’t hear from me by the morning, check all the morgues and parks for a dead body.” 

Kat chuckled, shaking her head at the boy’s dramatics. “He won’t kill you, Racetrack.” 

“You never know what he’ll do in a fit of passionate rage.” Race cackled hearing Jack’s obvious disgust. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, Jackie!” 

Pointing to the door, Jack gave Race a look. “Love you, thank you for this afternoon but get outta here! And leave your comments about your sex life to yourself! There are things that myself and Kat don’t need to know about you and Spot!” 

“Why do we keep him around?” Jack looked at Kat, grinning at the scoff that came from Race’s direction. 

“Our lives would be so much duller without Race and Spot in them.” Kat patted her husband’s arm. “Besides you did say Race is your favorite brother.” 

Popping his head back in the room, Race grinned brightly. “See you love me and I’m your favorite.”

“I already told you I love you. Now get outta here before Spot really kills you and asks me to hide the body.” Jack shook his head at his brother’s antics. “Text me when you get home.” 

“Uh huh.” Was Race’s reply before they heard the door shut a few moments later. 

Cuddling into Kat’s embrace, he sighed in contentment. “Thank you for this afternoon. You knew when to give me space and when to engage Race.” 

“Anytime, Jack. I’m always going to be here for you.” Kissing his forehead, she sighed. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” 

So this is 1905 words got a little out of control! :-) Enjoy!! 

[drunkbatya]

Pinocchio!AU | HC

Pinocchio!AU, in which lies grow not the nose, but another part of the body.

I don't even know how to start this story. Maybe that way... 

— Richard was remarkable for two things: 1) one part of his body grew larger when he lied; 2) he was a pathological liar and sometimes couldn't control it; 

— Whatever it really is, the most logical thing to do is to call it a curse, perhaps even a generic one! And let's assume that a huge contribution to this story was made by chance or the vagueness of the wording, because no matter how uncomfortable it may be, when a man is able to legally grow his penis, it can not be called a curse; 

— Let's say the text of the curse said that lying should grow a part of the body, but it did not specify which part. And whether it was an arm, leg, nose, or left ear, or even the little finger on the right foot, the curse would really be inconvenient and help to get rid of such a pernicious habit or at least to control it; 

— Richard never worried about the curse, and of course he didn't try to get rid of it (he didn't even know he could), because no matter how inconvenient it was, the benefits were still significant, and it was a sin to refuse them; 

— By the way, you're not born a pathological liar, and neither was Richard. He lived the life of an honest man until he found out about the existence of lies, and then things got a little out of control; 

— We all know it's bad to lie, but Richard grew up in a world where it was safer to lie than to tell the truth. Eventually, it got to the point where he started lying all the time, even when it wasn't necessary. It came out of him unconsciously, and if it wasn't for the growing member, Richard would not have realized that he was lying; 

— The problem with the lying begins in childhood. This was the most difficult period for Richard for many reasons: a) realizing that a lie is better and sweeter than the truth, and even more profitable, he began to lie constantly and uncontrollably; b) have you ever seen a child whose penis is dragging on the floor like a third paralyzed leg? 

— Later, Richard learned to control it. And when I say "it", I mean the size of his dick. Did he lie less? No. Well... Yes, he did, because he became more silent with age, but every time he opened his mouth, 60% of what he said was a lie;

— Since he was not able not to lie, and a long dick, of course, cool, but not very convenient, he had to resort to a trick. It turns out that just as a lie increases the size of his reproductive organ, the truth cancels this change; 

— The more terrible the lie, the bigger the penis and, of course, the more weighty the truth, the more lies it cancels; 

— Technically, he can lie about small things to a rather "inconvenient" value, and then give out some revelation and return everything to "acceptable"; he can do the opposite — reduce a big lie to zero with small truths; 

— Richard assumed that no matter how weighty the truth was, below a certain value (minimum) the size of his dick can not be reduced, so he can safely confess, without fear that the penis will shrink to microscopic size, rather remain as it should be; 

— And Richard had no idea what size his penis was originally supposed to be, because by the time puberty was over, there wasn't a day when Richard didn't lie; 

— In ordinary life, Richard tried to keep his mouth shut, so as not to say something superfluous, because we all know, or at least assume, that not only a bad dancer... well, you know; 

— But on a date, you can lie a little, you can say a couple of false facts about yourself in the pool or on the beach or before going to the public toilet (because, oh my god, embarrassing men standing next to you with your huge penis is one of the things that always lifted Richard's mood, and if he did not want to show his member to people, he just went to the stall); 

— Richard loved to literally measure dicks, because he was always the undisputed winner, shocking the fragile minds of children or the precarious mental health of adult men with his size. Yes, he was a cheater, but what did honesty matter? It had never given him as much moral satisfaction as a lie; 

— Is the phrase "I have a huge penis" a lie? After all, if it's not huge, Richard will probably lie, but as soon as he lies, it will immediately become true, and then what? Will his penis shrink? But then the statement will be false and... what's next? Richard's dick in superposition? 

— Richard couldn't be caught on the «your penis will increase by ten centimeters if you...» ad, because if Richard wanted to increase his penis, he simply answered his mother's question «have you smoked again?» with a confident «no»; 

RICHARD AND GAVIN 

— It`s very difficult to start an honest relationship when on the first date you have already raised the bar by thrusting a dick several times larger than the real size into your partner; — I can assure you that 'my penis is actually smaller' and 'it increases when I lie' will only come out of Richard's mouth when he is on his deathbed. There's no chance that Gavin will find out about this before, or maybe... — Everything secret becomes clear, we all know it, so no matter how much Richard wants to hide what is happening, sooner or later he will have to tell Gavin the truth (which will reduce his penis to the size of a molecule, he is sure of it!); — Anyway, Gavin wouldn't know the truth until Richard was sure enough about their relationship to open up, and if circumstances forced him to admit it sooner, he wouldn't. It's easier for him to break off a relationship than to admit something; — You understand that telling someone about his curse is literally giving them information that can and will be used against Richard, so his concerns are understandable; — At first, Gavin is shocked and has to take a long time to digest the fact that his young boyfriend is able to change the size of his penis depending on whether he is telling the truth or lying; — Actually, Gavin thinks it's unfair! He does not see anything wrong with lying, at least in a small things, and he is also very upset by the fact that for the rest of his life he will live with a penis that is just below the average size and he can do nothing about it (but he wants to!!!); — Gavin has already come up with 1001 ways to use his boyfriend's feature not in sex. At that moment, he already had a folder with Richard's dickpicks, which were used against the most persistent admirers who do not understand the word "no", but clearly understand what the photo of a huge member and the threat of reprisal hints at; — After Gavin was able to digest the "shocking" news, a genuine childish interest came to him, with exactly the kind that only boys have and only in relation to their penis; «Richie, how big can it be? Have you ever reached the upper limit? Have you ever gotten to the point where your pants couldn't stand it? Did it happen that he was too big and suddenly got erect?» — A lot of questions and a lot of things that Gavin would like to know. His scientific interest was aroused, he just wanted to understand what he was dealing with. Although it was just fun to learn and experiment or be the cause of curious situations that get out of control; — However, no matter how fun things are, in the end, there are more disadvantages than advantages for others; — Even if you know that all people lie, you will not be ready for it. And no matter how you feel about lying, suddenly the last thing you want to know in your life is when people are lying to you; — Even less you want to know that your boyfriend, with whom you seem to have moved to a new, more serious level of relations, turns out to be a pathological liar and hands you the opportunity to determine exactly when he is lying; — No matter how good this idea initially seemed, it is not very cool to realize that you are constantly being lied to, even in some minor details. First, what kind of honest and open relationships can we talk about? Second, it has a very strong effect on trust; «I can't figure out if you can't help lying, or if you just like it when your dick is hanging down to your knees?» «Both.» — Trust, but check! At one point, Gavin found himself unable to believe what Richard was saying, which was not surprising, but what was much worse... he was always looking for confirmation of the truth or falsity of his words... where? Right! Between his legs! This, by the way, was strange and a little confusing; — At some point, Gavin realized that he didn't need any hard evidence to see the difference between truth and lies, at least on some level of everyday life. It's as if he can feel or hear when Richard is lying, and there's no need to grab his cock at that moment; — The last thing a pathological liar wants to do, even if they know they can't control themselves, is let someone know they're lying. But you can always see the difference between truth and lies if you know how to do it; «You just lied to me, didn't you?» «No.» «Then how about taking off your pants and repeating it again?» «Okay, I lied!» — We all focus on the changing size of the penis, as if this is the main problem, but the problem is that Richard constantly lies. And Gavin wouldn't mind if he didn't know he was being lied to. A lie only makes sense when no one knows it's a lie; — It seemed like you could handle it, you could at least learn to live with it, and... yes, if it was about size variability, you could get used to it, but Gavin realized that he couldn't be in a relationship with someone he couldn't trust; — The worst part is that even if Richard once stops lying completely, it won't make much difference, because Gavin doesn't believe or trust him anymore, and it can take a very long time to get things back to the way they were; — In fact, Gavin doesn't mind lying, and he doesn't mind Richard lying. but at least not to him or so that he never found out about it, which is quite problematic, because unconsciously he is always looking for confirmation of words and simply can not forbid himself to check his boyfriend; — One day, Gavin realizes the relationship that was easy and fun for him suddenly begins to weigh on him. Have you ever regretted that a person was honest with you, because they told you the truth that broke everything to hell? Gavin always regrets it; — Imagine that perhaps the first and only time Richard was honest and told the hard truth instead of the easy lie, Gavin considers the worst moment that destroyed their relationship. And how can he not be a liar after that? More precisely, how can he not stop telling the truth after that? — In the end, Gavin sees only two options: either he and Richard break up and don't rape each other with it, or... Richard will have to control himself and learn not to lie impulsively to Gavin (ideally, of course, not to lie at all, but this is too much in the beginning); — Well, they will always have time to break up, but they can try to work on their relationship for a change right now. And here's the whole long story of changes in one sentence: it wasn't an easy work, but they did it; — In the end, they were able to find a working formula for their relationship, which, of course, did not imply that Richard refused to lie at all, but minimized it in the relationship to a minor; — His dick is still big, if you're interested. Richard wouldn't refuse that opportunity for sure. Even if you tell him that all these manipulations will end in a long and painful death, he will still lie so that his dick was a little bigger; — You know, no matter how much Richard wanted to be an honest person and no matter how much he wanted a healthy open relationship, he just couldn't live without the «big dick» advantage, even if the big dick is completely non-functional and only needed for... show off; — Gavin loved Richard, so he did his best to make sure that «a small problem doesn't become a big one because someone lies too much»; — Their relationship, by the way, was never on the edge of disaster and did not threaten to self-destruct because of the fact that Richard was lying. But problems that aren't solved tend to get worse, and Gavin knew it. He also didn't want to wait until things were disastrous for them to start doing something; — As a result, they found their way and learned to live with a problem that they could not solve. The relationship worked and worked well, and that's the main thing, isn't it? It was serious between them, or so it seemed; — And then during sex, Gavin said: «I love you», so Richard answered: «me too». And Reed felt the little asshole's cock grow bigger. Now Gavin is not sure of anything. Even whether they should break up or finish the sex first.