#so ive been planning those
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my sentiments exactly babydoll. he really really just wants to get home to Harri but THATS not on the cards right now. we do things and we finish these things,bby boy. idc how miserable you are. THAT BEING SAID... in the later posts theres going to be a turn and we're going to pivot right back into story mode . finnies got some explaining.
#finnie#finnie around the globe#ts4 globetrotter#the sims 4 globetrotter#hiiii i havent had much time to edit.#im okay i have like 832 trips in august bc im obsessed with the bg3 men so you know ill be there#my husband is supportive haha#so ive been planning those#the sims 4#ts4#the sims#ts4 gameplay#sims 4#ts4 simblr#the sims community#but we're backkkk
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beep beep im a sheep
speeddraw below the cut (audio warning)
song: "Cult of Dionysis" by The Orion Experience
#before anybody says anything i have never played cotl in my entire life and i dont plan to. but. crow showed me some narilamb art#and i. well.. HMMMMM kinda fruity if i do say so myself..#also i wanted to play around with the lambs design and had fun basing their outfit a little on crusader armor. mostly the cloth in the fron#i dont think id last 10 minutes playing cotl. partly because i suck at strategy games and not hugely drawn to roguelike games#and partly because i think i would cry real tears if i had to sacrifice someone despite fully knowing theyre nonsentient npc characters#i must admit i think the world and gameplay mechanics are interesting.. havent watched any playthroughs but ive been skimming thru the#wiki pages. kindareminds me of binding of Isaac but i dont have the patience for those kinds of games sadly#also apparently u guys are getting a sex update so i feel like ill be in full blast of whatever comes out of that#i might draw god of death lamb because i kind of have an idea of what their horns would look like. but im gonna hate drawing an outfit ugh#noooo dont usurp god and reap destruction for generations to come youre so sexy haha#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl lamb#cotl lambert#cotl fanart#my art#myart#videos#speeddraw#progress art
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Each time you draw Daigo or Masato in a corset I gain 500 HP thank you
do you accept corset tops. may you live a thousand years
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#masato arakawa#snap sketches#hello friend .... i wanted to draw masato in this top at some point so im glad ive been given the excuse to now JAWLKJWA#i enjoy putting men in corsets if only cause i just really wanna share whats in my closet#this is one of my fave tops tbh .... its really hard finding tops this color in styles i like#i dont want my closet to JUST be black actually. sometimes we can have a dark red or brown. emerald auspiciously#one time i found a really nice green top but my arms were too big for it and there was no other sizes- like everything else fit But My Arms#how does that even make sense. hate it here but we carry on#this wasnt what i wanted to draw this weekend but when will i ever compalin about drawin masato. never thats what#i still have my silly doodles planned for this weekend so i hope those turn out well#for now im sleeby BYYYYEEE thank you anon for supporting me adn my work :]]]]]]]]]
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i am required to doodle wxs before bed so that i can keep my heart pure
#ive been testing out drawing gummies all day#i drew space opera wxs and plan on making those into thick acrylic standees too but idk if anyone would be interested#i have other ideas for stuff i wanna draw too#need to redraw seibai itaaaaasu wxs linking charm idea#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#polysho#rui centric#pjsk#prsk#level 100 yearning#this is so i can remind myself to start working on that rui centric wxs fic#my art#pjsk fanart#doodle
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I finally got a full lineup of these losers(affectionate)
(a ppq fanseries of mine, the royal advisors)
#puyo puyo#i am maintagging because i like this piece.#also for organization#royal advisors#anyway its october! what!#im doing a bit of a spin on inktober where im drawing whatever i want to within the month#mostly an excuse to draw the things ive been thinking about but have put off for one reason or another#and first up was a full piece of all of my loser advisors.#because i made them all on different canvases and i wanted to smash them together into one proper#i call them losers because none of them are very good at their job#doll spaces out half the time. alice speaks in riddles. cedar would make a better knight#lily gives genuinely good advice but nobody wants to follow it because she looks so suspicious#and then i gave them all signatures for the hell of it#anyway i love them regardless#also looking at the plan for the month its actually just puyo and splatoon so. ill be seeing both of those maintags around i guess#for my sanity i hope this doesnt show up in the latter tag because i typed it just now#i do not like incorrect tagging#thats enough out of me. see you in a few days with the next piece o7#my stuff
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hi. here's a little over 5k words for the modern human au! entirely unedited, as usual! you'd think this is a full oneshot... ha... no... i actually have some warnings for this one - hospitals, panic attacks, major character injury / discussion of death / clinical description of injury.
in short, my writing comfort zone <3
~
The dial tone plays, and Barnaby looks down at his phone. Call ended stares back at him under Wally’s cheerful profile picture.
“He hung up on me,” Barnaby states. His lips twist and he tosses the phone onto the couch with a snarl of, “That little bastard.”
“Hey now,” Howdy says sharply, frowning at him. “That’s our friend you’re talking about.”
“Like he doesn’t deserve it! All I do is be supportive, understanding, and worry about his damn well being. And then he goes and acts like my very much well-founded concern is an attack!”
Howdy’s frown softens as he watches Barnaby pace, gesturing wildly.
“I love that RV. Maybe not as much as Wally, obviously, but it pains me that it needs to go. And it does need to go! Thing’s becoming a damn deathtrap.” Barnaby pushes his hair back and huffs. He glances at Howdy. “Right? I’m making the right call, here?”
“Of course you are,” Howdy says. “But-”
Barnaby cuts him off. “I tried to be nice about it. I tried to warm him up to the idea of retiring Home, yaknow? And what does he do instead of handling it - he revs up the tin can and runs. Home shouldn’t be started, let alone driven. It’s dangerous.”
It’s extremely dangerous. Wally is skilled at driving it, but no amount of skill will save him if it breaks in the middle of the freeway. What if the engine catches fire? What if a tire pops, or comes loose? Home is old, and wasn’t made to crumple in a crash. Barnaby doesn’t even know if the airbag still works. It’s not safe.
The thought of Wally bringing Home hurtling down the freeway at ten at night in a - quite honestly - not great mental state turns Barnaby’s stomach.
“I just wanted him to come back so we could talk about it,” Barnaby says. “I let him keep worming his way out of a serious conversation and now - now he’s -”
“Running away,” Howdy finishes. The point of his pen taps a rhythm against his notepad.
Barnaby jabs a finger at him. “Exactly. One tough, necessary decision and he turns tail. This isn’t gonna go away if he skips town! Not to mention how he isn’t giving a thought to how this might affect the rest of us.”
“Especially you.”
Barnaby throws his hands up with an indignant look. “Now not only do I have to hunt him down-”
“That would be a we scenario, Barn.”
“But we,” Barnaby concedes, “gotta try to knock some sense into that thick skull ‘a his, and drag him back home - kicking and screaming if we hafta.”
Howdy’s pen taps faster. “What if he doesn’t want to come back?”
“What if he-” Barnaby stops short and stares at him, wide eyed.
That’s not.
That wouldn’t happen, right? Wally would come back in the end. He wouldn’t decide to up and leave entirely, would he? He is in Home… all the essentials he needs are in that RV. Barnaby sits down heavily on Howdy’s threadbare couch. “What if he doesn’t want to come back.”
Wally would have to come back to clear out his studio - he’d never abandon his art. Then they’d have to go through everything inside the house and see what he wants to take, since not all of it is Barnaby’s. A lot of it is shared, so they might have to bargain on who gets what.
Then they’d all have to watch Wally get into his motorhome and drive away. Possibly for good.
Barnaby would be alone in that big house with Welcome, knowing that his closest companion is out of his life. Living somewhere else. It's sickening.
“I’m sure it won’t come to that, Barn,” Howdy says, watching him with furrowed brows and a deep frown - if Barnaby were feeling like himself, he’d crack a joke about him emulating Frank. “I can confidently say that Wally loves you more than that old RV.”
Barnaby snorts. “You sure about that?”
“Unflinchingly. Believe you me, he’s going to wallow for a day or so, and then Home will come rumbling back down your driveway like it never left.”
“I wish I could have your faith,” Barnaby mumbles. He exhales and picks up his phone. No missed calls, no messages. “Maybe if I call him and ask him to just come back, no strings attached, he will.”
“That’s the spirit! Save the talk for another day - tell you what, I’ll help you corrall him so he can’t escape the conversation. I’ll tie him to a chair and bar the door if needed!”
“Good luck with that. Kid’s slippery.” Still, Barnaby hits call again. It rings only a couple of times before a robotic automated message states the caller as unavailable. Barnaby doesn’t enjoy being upset with Wally. However, it feels like his blood is simmering, and the wall is starting to look like great target practice for his phone. He grits his teeth. “He turned off his phone.”
From the corner of his eye he sees Howdy’s eyebrows shoot up as the man turns back to his paperwork. He exhales a controlled breath and writes something down. “I have to say, I’ve never known him to be such a-”
“Pain in the neck?” Barnaby offers.
Howdy clicks his tongue. “You said it, not me.”
“Yeah, well, he’s full of surprises.” Barnaby lets out a frustrated huff. He’s half tempted to run Wally down right now, but he wouldn’t even know where to start. There’s only one freeway out of town, but it goes both ways, and it branches. Wally would have hit one of those branches by now, and who knows which he took. North, south, east, west. Deeper into the woods, or towards the city? To the coast? Somewhere else entirely?
He has to face the facts - there’s nothing to do. He just has to wait until Wally pulls his head out of his ass and realizes how stupid and insensitive he’s being. Those are two words Barnaby would never normally use to describe Wally, but after tonight? They seem fitting.
Barnaby can’t even muster up guilt for thinking such harsh things. He tried to be nice. He was patient. He’s always kept a lid on it whenever Wally frustrated him, which doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. And what does he get for caring? For being tactful and careful about a shitty situation?
Avoidance, a shove, and a cut call. Wally left Barnaby’s been left to stew in his own anger and worry. Right now, he’s inclined to lock up that worry in a tiny box in the back of his mind.
Barnaby pushes himself up with a grumbled, “I’m makin’ some coffee, want some?”
“If you’re offering then I will not decline.”
Barnaby pretends not to feel Howdy’s eyes following him to the apartment’s tiny kitchen. It’s hell to maneuver around in, and the frustration of bumping into something every five seconds only makes Barnaby’s mood worse. By the time the coffee is brewing, he’s ready to punch the cabinets. He won’t, but he wants to. He’d regret it immediately, but he stares at the chipped paint and fantasizes.
The coffee machine breaks after brewing a whopping single mug. Barnaby stares at it for a long moment, and tallies up the consequences of taking a hammer to it. In the end, he just clenches his fists for a long moment and counts to ten. He takes the mug and sets it in front of Howdy, then goes to the window to brood. Thankfully Howdy is too reabsorbed in his work to notice beyond a mumbled thanks.
For the next hour, Barnaby’s thoughts are entirely composed of Wally. Different scenarios of what might happen next, how Barnaby might handle those situations without shaking Wally for doing something so needlessly reckless, and cruel daydreams of setting Home on fire. Barnaby wants to feel bad about that. He doesn’t. That damn RV has caused two different rifts between Barnaby and Wally - and Barnaby was the one to fix both of them, because both times Wally just left.
He gets it. He really does - for a time Home was all that Wally had. It’s been with him since Wally was thirteen, and if the thought of retiring it to a dump makes Barnaby sad, he can only imagine how much it distresses Wally. Well, he can do more than make an educated guess. Wally practically told him tonight, if not with words than with actions.
Still. They’re adults - Wally is older than him, if only by a handful of months. When does Barnaby ever ask something of him? When does Barnaby ever push? Why can’t Wally see that Home is becoming a liability, and why won’t he listen? Barnaby can’t make it make sense.
Wally has always been more inclined to avoid conflict, but this is too far. Barnaby swears, when he tracks Wally down he’s going wring that scrawny little-
His phone is ringing.
Barnaby lunges for it, relief dousing his anger. He picks it up, ready to give Wally a piece of his mind and then beg him to come back-
“It’s an unknown number,” he says, shoulders slumping. Of course it’s an unknown number. Wally wouldn’t change on a dime and decide to be considerate for once. He exchanges an exasperated look with Howdy and declines. He goes to set the phone down - the number calls back.
“That’s one determined scammer,” Howdy says. He leans back in his chair and holds out a hand. “I’ll deal with ‘em.”
Barnaby is all too happy to hand it over. Let the poor sap on the other end of the line deal with a master swindler.
“Howdy-hi, how can I help?” Howdy starts with a mischievous grin thrown Barnaby’s way? He leans back in the chair and hums. “Who, may I query, is asking?”
All at once, the ease drains out of Howdy and he stops fidgeting. He sits up, already looking at Barnaby with a paled expression that has something cold slithering down Barnaby’s spine. Something is wrong.
“He’s right here.” Howdy holds out the phone. His throat works uselessly for a moment before he plainly states the obvious, “It’s for you.”
Barnaby takes it, his mouth abruptly dry. Howdy is already up and moving - grabbing his coat, his keys. “Hello?”
“Is this Barnaby Beagle?” a professional feminine voice asks, tinny through the phone.
“B. Beagle, yeah.”
The woman introduces herself as the nearest city’s hospital, and Barnaby’s heart drops through the floor. She asks him to confirm that he’s Wally Darling’s emergency contact. He confirms, his voice sounding distant to his own ears. Howdy takes his arm and gestures to his shoes by the door, spurring Barnaby into motion.
“Is he okay?” Barnaby manages to say. He puts the wrong shoe on the wrong foot and almost curses aloud as he switches it.
“Mr. Darling was involved in an automobile accident,” is all the hospital employee says. “He was brought in a few minutes ago.”
Barnaby steadies himself against the doorjamb, choking on a whispered, “Oh, god.”
Keys jingle as Howdy opens the door and pulls Barnaby through, then locks the door behind them.
“But is he okay?” Barnaby asks again as they hurry down the short hallway to the stairs.
“I’m not at liberty to disclose that information at present.”
It’s bad. It has to be bad if they won’t say anything over the phone. He must be silent for too long, because Howdy takes the phone, tells her they’ll be there soon, and hangs up. He tucks the phone into Barnaby’s pocket before opening the door to the store’s back lot.
The frigid air slaps the shock out of Barnaby, and sensation comes flooding back in. He grabs the keys out of Howdy’s hand and strides to the car with long, powerful strides that would leave anyone shorter than Howdy in the dust.
“Are you sure-”
“I’m driving,” Barnaby growls, cutting Howdy off.
Howdy makes a disapproving noise, but relents. They get in and Barnaby adjusts his seat with harsh movements, jabs the key into the ignition because Howdy’s car is a dated hunk of junk, and peels out of the parking space before Howdy even has his seatbelt all the way on.
Howdy clings to the ceiling handle as the car tears down the mostly empty street, going at least ten miles over the speed limit. Barnaby doesn’t know exactly where the hospital is, but he knows how to get to the city. They can figure it out from there. Several people honk as Barnaby brings them flying onto the freeway.
“Holy Marilyn marmalade!” Howdy screeches as they narrowly avoid side-swiping a minivan.
Barnaby ignores him and cuts off a pickup to get into the right lane for the interchange. Howdy whispers a string of something high pitched and strained and clings to the handle with both hands.
It takes him a moment to parse out the constant ramble as, “-pull over pull over pull over pull over-” Two honks and a squeal of tires as Barnaby almost causes an accident, and Howdy yells in a louder and deeper tone than Barnaby has ever heard from him, “PULL OVER!”
Barnaby clenches his jaw and cuts across the carpool lane’s double whites. It only takes a moment to reach the shoulder. Howdy leaps out of the passenger seat as soon as the car stops, marches to Barnaby’s side, and wrenches the door open.
“Out,” he snaps, breathing hard. “Barnaby, I swear to all things priceless, get out. “
Barnaby meets his steely gaze for all of a second before unbuckling and getting out. Cars whip by. Howdy huffs at him and slips into the driver’s seat, muttering about recklessness and disasters and if you would wait to try and kill us until we’re right outside the hospital, if only to save us the ambulance fee-
When Barnaby gets into the passenger seat, Howdy waits for him to buckle in with fingertips drumming on the steering wheel. He merges onto the freeway smoothly and carefully. They go slower than the speed Barnaby had them flying down the asphalt at, and it makes something deeply impatient itch in him, but it’s safer.
“I know you’re upset,” Howdy says, eyes still fixed on the road, “and I know that you’re scared. But what in hell’s bells was that, Barn?”
Barnaby side eyes him and grimaces, folding his arms. “I don’t know. I’m sorry - I shouldn’t have put you in danger like that.”
“You put yourself in danger too, you know.” Howdy sighs and relaxes his grip on the steering wheel. “We’re of no use to Wally if we get ourselves in a crash. What would he say?”
“Whatever he’d say would be hypocritical,” Barnaby says before he can think better of it.
Howdy glances sharply at him. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“He..” Barnaby’s voice fails on him, and he swallows hard. “He was in an accident.”
Howdy is silent for a full few seconds before he exhales a thin, pained sound. “Oh, Walls…”
He must not know what else to say, which is good and well, because Barnaby doesn’t either. A long few minutes pass of silence. Headlights of passing cars on the other side of the freeway flash over them before plunging back into darkness. The dials on the dash glow. The check engine light is on. They’ll need to get gas in order to make it home.
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you’re thinking,” Howdy says. He’s tapping the steering wheel again. “It’s likely just a few scrapes and bruises, at worst a broken bone. Nothing Wally can’t handle, and certainly nothing to be concerned over.”
Barnaby can’t bring himself to agree. Maybe… maybe if Wally was driving slowly… but that wouldn’t matter if someone crashed into him with enough force. Home is a large, sturdy vehicle, but it isn’t invulnerable. Wally certainly isn’t.
Without the distraction of driving, all Barnaby can think about is the what ifs. Yeah, what if he’s only a little bit hurt, but what if it’s worse? All of the worst images Barnaby can think of roll through his mind like a messed up movie reel.
Wally dead on the scene, caught in a hunk of twisted metal.
Wally, choking on his own blood in an ambulance, dying en route to the hospital.
Wally flatlining on a metal table.
Wally’s small body covered with a sheet-
“Almost there,” Howdy says, slowing at a stoplight. It bathes them both in red. Barnaby didn’t notice when they got off the freeway.
Barnaby squeezes his eyes shut and presses his forehead to the cold window. After a moment, a slender hand rests on his thigh and squeezes. It’s such a small, stupid thing, but Barnaby breathes a little easier.
Despite the drive down the freeway feeling like it took hours, the drive through city streets to the hospital passes in a blink. Before Barnaby knows it the car is spiraling up to an upper floor of the parking garage. The floor is mostly empty - Howdy pulls into a spot right by glass double doors.
Barnaby gets out a split seconds before Howdy, staring at the pristine white walls just inside the doors. In a moment he’ll find out if it’s not that bad, or if he’s about to have the worst night of his life. He’s been to a hospital twice. The last time was for Howdy, but he went with the knowledge that it was only a precaution. The other time was for Mama’s health scare.
That had been terrifying. The waiting, the wondering, the too-bright hallways and the staff’s rigid smiles. It ended well, but it had still been horrible, and hospitals took center stage in some of his recurring nightmares. Barnaby never wanted to see another loved one in a hospital bed again.
Looks like he doesn’t have a choice.
Howdy comes around from the driver’s side and lays a hand on Barnaby’s shoulder. “If you need a moment to-”
“Nah,” Barnaby says, his voice rough. He nods and adjusts his sleeves. “Better rip the bandaid off.”
They go into the sterile maze. The bright overhead lights dazzle Barnaby’s eyes after being in the dim parking garage, and he grimaces at the strong odor of antiseptic and floor polish. Howdy makes a beeline for the nearest receptionist and talks to her in rushed, low tones.
Barnaby shuffles after him, rubbing his shaking hands together and eyeing every person in scrubs that walks past. Something beeps somewhere. He thinks he hears someone crying. This is a place without color, art, or happiness.
“This way,” Howdy says, walking past him and tilting his head at the elevator. Barnaby follows, feeling like a lost puppy dropped at the side of the road.
A nurse gets into the elevator with them and politely smiles before staring at the floor counter and pretending they don’t exist. It’s fine with Barnaby. If he has to make small talk right now, he might actually snap. The man’s pink scrubs are almost an eyesore in the harsh lighting.
The elevator dings, and they all get out on the same floor. Howdy reads door plaques and wall signs like a hawk, his head turning on a swivel as he reads everything at lightning speed. Barnaby nearly has to jog to keep up with his hurried pace.
Howdy changes direction without warning and heads straight for a door at the end of a short offshoot hallway. Barnaby reads the sign next to the door.
[can’t remember if it’s icu or the other thing, research later]
It’s bad.
The waiting room is small - longer than it is wide, and there’s a woman sleeping in a chair in the corner. It looks nicer than the emergency room, or where Barnaby waited to see his mama. The benches have colorful cushions, and the walls are a pastel green instead of white. There’s an abstract geometric painting on the wall next to the woman.
Barnaby slowly takes a seat on stiff cushions, watching Howdy talk to the receptionist from afar. He nods and pats the counter before joining Barnaby. He sits close enough that their legs press together.
“Someone will get us up to speed as soon as there’s news,” Howdy says. “I tried to pry some more out of him, but he wouldn’t give up another word.”
Barnaby nods, staring down at his hands. His nail polish is already chipping, despite Julie painting them only last weekend. Barnaby picks at the bright red on his pinkie until Howdy pulls his hand away and enfolds it in both of his own.
When Howdy takes a deep breath, Barnaby finds himself mimicking him. Their gazes meet - Howdy’s is unflinching, and steady. He smiles and runs his thumb over Barnaby’s knuckles, soothing the nervous trembling, and Barnaby is struck by how darn grateful he is to have Howdy with him.
If he had to do all of this alone… Barnaby doesn’t think he could. Either he’d have gotten himself into a crash to join Wally, or he would still be sitting in his car, staring at the hospital doors. He doesn’t have the courage. But Howdy does, and Barnaby loves him for it.
For once, Howdy lets the time pass in silence, though after a long stretch of indeterminable time he gets up to pace. The bench cushions are high quality, but they start to feel uncomfortable. Barnaby doesn’t dare go for a walk. At least they’re not the usual waiting room chairs - he’d rather stand than try to fit into those plastic, narrow things.
At some point the woman in the corner wakes up. She startles seeing two strangers in the room with her, but quickly ignores them. Barely a few minutes pass before she leaves, mumbling something about coffee. She doesn’t come back. Barnaby spends a while wondering why - did she go home, or wait somewhere else, or did she receive news in the halls?
Howdy sits down again and starts typing furiously on his phone. When Barnaby gives him a curious nudge, he quietly explains that he’s texting the group chat. Barnaby feels a twinge of guilt at that. He completely forgot to let everyone know that there’s a… situation. Who knows if any of them will see it until morning.
Message sent, Howdy gets up to pace some more. His rhythmic gait gives Barnaby something to focus on, seeing as the clock on the wall is silent, and the receptionist seems to be sleeping. Barnaby could probably pass time on his own phone, but every second spent distracted is a second he might miss someone coming to tell them…
What? Tell them what, exactly? That Wally is okay? That he can receive visitors?
That he didn’t make it?
The door opens, startling Barnaby to his feet. Howdy scurries over from the far side of the room and rests a steadying hand on Barnaby’s lower back. A woman clad in blue scrubs enters, reading something on a clipboard. There are shadows under her eyes, and she looks beyond exhausted. Barnaby can sympathize.
“Mr. Beagle?” the doctor asks, looking between them. When Barnaby nods, she smiles thinly, gaze flicking briefly to Howdy. “Hi. I’m Dr. Allen. Before I disclose any sensitive information, I’d like to confirm what your relation to the patient is.”
The question gives Barnaby pause. He’s always had a difficult time putting his and Wally’s relationship into simple terms, because it’s anything but. Wally is his best friend, his dearest companion, the man he lives with and can’t imagine being without.
“He’s my partner,” Barnaby settles on, because it’s a good umbrella term. Partner can mean a lot of things, and people don’t usually pry for specifics. “We’re as good as family.”
Dr. Allen writes something down on her clipboard. “No worries, I’m not going to kick you out if you’re not - you’re his emergency contact for a reason, after all. It’s just basic information that I’d like to have on hand.”
“Course - so how is he?” Barnaby cuts straight to the chase. He’s not in the mood for niceties.
“Well, Mr. Darling is certainly giving us a run for our money,” Allen sighs. “He’s not out of the woods yet, but I believe he’s gotten through the worst of it.”
“He’ll make it?”
Allen offers another tight lipped smile. “We’re doing our best.”
Barnaby has seen enough hospital dramas to know that we’re doing our best means no promises, prepare for the worst. Howdy must feel the tension gripping him like a vice, because his hand slips from Barnaby’s back to his hand.
“What are his injuries, if I may?” Howdy asks.
“I’m not sure-”
“Please. We’d rather know than wonder.”
Allen looks between them and sighs again. She flips a page on her clipboard. “Unfortunately, there was a bit of time between the crash and when emergency services were called. Between blood loss and the near-freezing temperatures, Mr. Darling developed mild hypothermia.”
Wally was dying, cold and alone in the wreckage of his home for who knows how long before anyone came to help. Barnaby sways in place, and Howdy helps him sit down on a bench instead of the floor. Allen looks apprehensive.
“Keep going,” Barnaby rasps. He needs to know.
Allen doesn’t look happy about it, but she continues. “Mr. Darling also suffered several low-grade lacerations from shrapnel, some fractured ribs, a compound fracture in his left tibia, and currently unidentified damage to his right hand and lower arm.”
Barnaby swallows a mournful sound. That’s fine, it’s fine. Broken bones heal - Wally will be painting again in no time.
“He also developed an intracranial hematoma. It’s been treated, but we won’t know the extent of the damage until Mr. Darling wakes up.”
“What is that?” Howdy asks before Barnaby can figure out how to speak again. “Intracranial hematoma - tell me if I’m wrong, but that sounds like a head injury.”
“It is - in layman’s terms, it’s a brain bleed. Head trauma can cause bleeding inside the skull, which puts pressure on the brain. We caught it as quickly as feasibly possible, which should raise his chance of a full recovery.” Allen flips the clipped page back into place. “There may still be lesser complications and injuries we haven’t been able to diagnose or address yet. I’ll be forward with you - this is one of the worst crash cases I’ve seen in some time. Mr. Darling was lucky to be found alive.”
Allen goes on to offer platitudes that Wally is a fighter, and easily answers the flood of questions Howdy has about the mentioned injuries. It all sounds distant. Underwater. The room is too small and the air is stale - are the vents working? Is there a window they can open?
In a blink - and yet the conversation lasts ages - Allen promises to come back with more information as soon as she has it. She smiles one last time and leaves.
“Barn?” Howdy sounds muffled. “Barn, are you alright?”
What kind of question is that? Of course Barnaby isn’t alright - his best friend is dying, likely on this very floor. There’s a chance he’s already dead. Barnaby might have already lost him, he just doesn’t know it yet.
Mr. Darling was lucky to be found alive.
One of the worst crash cases I’ve seen in some time.
Mild hypothermia - brain bleed - lacerations - fractures.
Lesser complications and injuries we haven’t been able to diagnose or address yet.
We’re doing our best.
“He hung up on me, the little bastard-”
Barnaby is up and out the door before he registers moving. He staggers down the hallways in a blur, everything swirling together into a mess of sight and sound as his lungs struggle to get a full breath. He bypasses the elevator and takes the stairs down to the level they parked on.
The cold air does nothing to help him breathe. Barnaby chokes on it as he leans against the rough wall grasping at his chest. Howdy is there immediately - he must have been on Barnaby’s heels the whole time.
“Talk to me, Barn,” Howdy pleads, a hand on the back of his neck and the other over the one Barnaby has on his chest. “What is it - you’re not having a heart attack, are you? Tell me you aren’t, I can’t handle that right now.”
Barnaby doesn’t know. Maybe? He feels like he is. He can’t breathe. He tries to say so, but the ragged gasps his breathing has devolved into doesn’t allow it. Howdy must know something he doesn’t, because he doesn’t run to get a doctor.
“How can I help?” he asks instead.
“Don’t - don’t - know,” Barnaby wheezes.
“Okay, alright, don’t worry, Barn, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. Let’s try, ah - what were the steps? I didn’t exactly write them down, though in hindsight I should’ve - that’s not the point! It was… what a time to take after Eddie’s memory-”
It shouldn’t be helping, but Howdy’s constant stream of words grabs Barnaby’s attention. He manages to inhale nearly a full breath before it stutters back out and he’s struggling again.
“Breathing!” Howdy says. “Yes, that was it - Barnaby, I need you to focus on me. Copy my breathing.”
He sucks in a slow, dramatic breath through his nose and exhales just as slowly through his mouth. Barnaby catches on and tries to mimic him, but-
“Can’t, I ca-an’t,” Barnaby says. His chest hurts.
Howdy presses their foreheads together. “Yes, you can. Come now, Barn, in… out. Simplest thing in the world.”
It doesn’t feel simple, but Barnaby tries. It feels like forever before he manages a full inhale. He butchers the exhale, but Howdy praises the minor win before launching right back into measured breathing.
Barnaby finally manages a slow inhale and exhale, and suddenly it feels like the pressure filling his chest has vanished. He slumps against the wall, worn out. He puts his hand over Howdy’s mouth in the middle of another dramatic demonstration.
“You’re alright now?” Howdy says, peeling his hand off. Barnaby nods, and Howdy leans next to him with a whoosh. “Thank the stock market - I was starting to get light headed.”
It takes another few minutes for them to catch their breath. Barnaby straightens enough to rest his head on Howdy’s shoulder, breathing in his cheap cologne and homemade laundry detergent. Howdy cups the back of his neck and massages the tense muscle there.
“This will all turn out okay,” Howdy promises. “Wally is stubborn - I think we both know that well enough. By this time tomorrow we’ll be moving forward.”
Barnaby wants to be that optimistic, but this is real life. For all they know, moving forward means making funeral arrangements. His breathing stutters and he forces it to even out before he can start hyperventilating again.
A car pulls into a parking space with a gravelly sound. Barnaby pays it no mind until Howdy makes a surprised noise - Barnaby looks up, and his stomach churns.
Frank, Eddie, and Julie are all getting out of Frank’s car. They’re all in various states of dishevelment. Frank’s hair is a mess, and he has what looks like Eddie’s company jacket thrown on over his pajamas. Eddie is in little more than a shirt that says male? lol, more like mail! and boxers - he’s even wearing slippers instead of shoes, and his hair flops over his forehead in soft tufts. Julie’s hair is still in curlers, and though she’s wearing shoes, she’s in a too-long shirt over sweats that don’t belong to her. They’re paint-stained.
They rush across the parking lot, all worried faces and tired eyes. They’re already asking what happened, is Wally okay, Sally is getting Poppy, they should be here soon, has there been any news-
Barnaby lunges at the nearest trash can and vomits.
#IM SORRY FOR ANY HOSPITAL/PROCEDURAL INACCURACIES IM NOT TRYING TO BE ACCURATE AT THE MOMENT#except for the injuries. those are realistic and i did my due diligence. read a lot of first hand accounts! medical pages!#ohhhh this was so cozy to write#i mean. not as familiar as actual on-screen injuries but yk#its been too fluffy in here.#this is a mild example of my usual tastes and habits when it comes to fic & fiction#WHUMP CENTRAL BABEYYYYYY#i like it messy and painful!!! Lets Fuckin Go!!!!#this is a prime example of me not being able to shut the fuck up when writing#my scenes & convos just go on and on and on and on....#but yes! enjoy! the Crash arc is very thoroughly planned out in my head and lately its one of my favorite things to imagine before bed <3#bedtime stories can be fictional characters going through horrible injuries & emotionally hurting each other#snippets from the bog#i will repeat what i have said multiple times before#i take the comic relief character. i hurt the comic relief character#i could have posted the little carnival half-scene. i could have#but ive been feeling stressed and caged and i need to let out some steam#and this is how i do that. controlled fictional violence <3
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Forgive me if I'm a bit nervous about Gorgug this season. It's just that the last Zac Oyama pc was Colin Provolone, who was arguably one of his greatest D20 performances, if not the greatest.
Zac always does great with every pc he plays, but Colin was something else. He came out swinging with actions and words that were teeming with unspoken emotional baggage. The way Colin's presence affected the other pcs; there was this level of depth that I don't think I've seen in any of his other characters. It was understated and quiet in that signature "just a guy" way that he tends to be, while still captivating everyone instantly with just how raw it was.
Not to say we haven't seen emotional depth in Gorgug. It's just that, compared to the other Bad Kids, Gorgug's journey and progression as a character has been very... impersonal? Like, yes, he found his birth parents, and he found friends who appreciate him, and he faced his insecurities about his intelligence, and he navigated relationship troubles, and his trial through the claustrophobic bug-tunnels was a horrifically-uncanny parallel to how he's spent his entire life trying to make himself as small as possible.
But how much of that has actually changed him from the Gorgug we started with? I would agree that he's definitely happier with his life, given all the loving and supportive people that have been added to it when it used to be just him and his parents. And he's certainly grown into himself and become more self-assured in his abilities, even if he's still, and always will be, our anxious little guy. And there's nothing wrong with that. I've always liked how Gorgug was a representation of all the little things. The subtle acts and kindnesses that don't seem like much to most, but to some are everything.
We don't need another Bad Kid living in fear that their mouth could be shit-in at any moment. We've already got one-too-many.
All that being said, I just feel like Gorgug's personal story beats are much easier to sweep under the rug than everyone else's. He has the same soft and understated quality that Colin held, but they lack that extra oomph that pushed Colin over the edge from being just another guy in a series of dudes, to a character that the vast majority of us could not get out of our heads. He took someone who was anxious and softspoken, who ultimately never wanted to be violent— someone who is remarkably similar to Gorgug in many ways— and maintained that demeanor and core in Colin's character while still hitting us in the feels with character development at max velocity at every turn.
I think Zac gets better and better at this with every season that goes by. With each new character, there is always something that leaves me stunned in awe. And it's been, what, three? Four years since we last saw Gorgug?
I'm just,,, I'm cautiously optimistic but also going into a bit of a worry about what violence this man may inflict upon us
#i got SO carried away LMAO#i dont think ive ever written any posts about gorgug specifically#i made a lot about colin. and some about pib. and some more about zacs performances in general.#but never anything gorgug-focused. i just wasnt on tumblr at those other times that hed been on my mind like this#you can tell i still couldnt resist talking about colin lol#he was just so fucking good. a fantastic character all around. i cant imagine a better example to get my point across than him#when i do posts like this its all very much just me taking a vague idea and working with whatever comes out in the moment#so when i tell you i very much did not plan to get lost in the counterargument and had to stop for a second to remember what my point was#my point still stands but so does everything else#you dont realize it. how similar gorgug and colin really are. or how metaphorical the bug tunnel was.#or how gorgug IS the epitome of little details. small acts. quiet rights and wrongs. the faint causes and the even subtler effects.#u dont truly realize it until youre writing it yourself in a free flow fugue state and it all comes to a halt cuz youve blown your own mind#anyway i love gorgug and i love zac pcs and i hope this post makes sense cuz finding the right words was fucking hard hah#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#gorgug thistlespring#the ravening war#trw#colin provolone#zac oyama
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well that's just a lie
#ash plays bg3#bg3#gale#gale dekarios#personal#look. im used to the way he looks now. im cool with it. but she shouldnt be!#this was an interesting conversation tho. i know ive been leaning into him following his own ambitions but--#the dialogue options along those lines are becoming a lot more direct in a way that doesnt quite fit with how im playing#the gale that im playing isnt going around pronouncing that he's gonna take over the world (because that's not what he's actually planning)#so im not completely sure how to play this. i saved before so i can go through it a few times to work out what i want to say#(ftr i have no qualms at all about reloading in this game. i dont feel bad in the slightest. im playing this game for fun)#ultimately i dont think it matters too much what i say here unless i choose some really extreme options. which isnt my plan anyway#but it's important to me. im enjoying the roleplay aspect#it's also pretty funny that ive only had one long rest since the one where i fucked the emperor. i should be able to tell her that lmao#like hey yeah a lot's happened since we last spoke#but anyway if you say you're gonna take the crown yourself she says 'if it doesnt crush you i will' which is fun#gonna stick with the 'im not sure' option. and all my companions are saying such nice things to me about it :')#except wyll and jaheira. come on guys#and lae'zel but that's because she's been kidnapped so. rip. should probably make that a priority but i like progressing main quests LAST
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Day sixty-three | id in alt
A puppet and a witch.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#mahito#jjk mahito#i Love havin to violently clarity who mahito is#ive never drawn this cursed bitch in ny life but making this thing do fucked up expressions is fun#update! ive been low-key concern looking at chapter 209-212 because......#dawg i think the merging is already Happening#AM I DELUSIONAL? DAWG IT MAY BE ALREADY HAPPENINH#WHAT THE FUCK DID THOSE BEAMS OF LIGHT MEAN??? UHHH??? UH?? ERM idk tho#i might be staring at the wrong shit but yknow#another update! its just the plans furthering lmao#though... i do think the merging should be able to at least start or something... it would be interesting to see#i fucking giggling tho bc in chapter... 244? i think the old guy with the katana says they could use cursed evergy to protect themselves#they completely disregard the people of japan and its FUNNY#but yknow who ACTUALLY has non sorcerer friends and cares for them insanely so? Kugisaki and fucking todo idk why not#i just wanna see what happens i wanna see how fucked up this is gonna be#also can maki fucking uh heavenly restriction herself out of the merger or is she fucked#im asking the REAL questions on my fucking daily Kugisaki account because this is the only way i can pick apart jjk with any kind of group
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I know I said I wanted to do Loveit Mappi (and I still plan on it!) but it was indulgent Fuuta art that finally broke my art block so. Ver with mv references, and under the cut one with Loveit/Salamander lyrics🍴
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#lmk if i need to tag anything#i was worried it was cringe and wasnt planning on posting it#but it came out better than i was expecting and im a simple creature who gets excited and wanted to share ;----;#ive been obsessing over the song and him ofc so they came together#something about salamander being a food song and he and kujima missing the same eye#im usually not into Eating Him metaphors but like i said this song has had its hold on me and i just wanted to draw something#its actually more likely that ill go back to writing when i have free time this week - but i was relieved to finally make some progress on#any art after struggling for so long with my wips#*sees those posts of fuuta in the blender/hydraulic press and goes Noooooooooo don't be mean to him!!! D':*#*posts this*
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HEY!!! just wanted to say that i am sooo sorry to the people who have been waiting on a response to their ask 😭 you guys ask way too good of questions where i have to sit down and really think before i can give a response im happy with SFDIUHSFDI
#ESPECIALLY THE LORE AND RELATIONSHIPS QUESTIONS#I LOVE THOSE QUESTIONS SO MUCH#BUT IM EXTRA AND WANT TO DRAW FOR THEM#SO IVE BEEN PLANNING THEM OUT#BUT I ENCOURAGE YOU TO KEEP SENDING THEM#PLEASE KEEP SENDING THEM ACTUALLY DFIUHDSI#i just so happen to get lost in the sauce#but by no means does that reflect on anyone else but me#i love u guys and i love the questions you ask#and i thank u guys for being curious on my characters#just know that i have seen ur ask and i am very enthusiastic about getting to it#thank u and sorry again#bob talks
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Yay I finally managed to make my 2023 art summary! First half of the year was a little disappointing looking back (in terms of both amount and quality). I think I managed to make more personal work this year, thankfully, which is what I wanted last year
#i think i had more examples to use this year compared which is good#esp the latter half of the year#in terms of improvement? i am starting to draw backgrounds..#i dont even think i have a 2022 art summary good lord (i think its bc i did mainly comms and barely any personal art...)#i also started making my own merch which is a step forward! ive been meaning to make them since 2021#itll arrive either tomorrow or thursday. ill share them when i get them#this year has also been less consistent in terms of art style. i wont say if thats good or bad#i had a bit of an art crisis in the middle of the year and then i had reached enlightenment in november#which is that i will stop gaf abt the amt of other people liking my art#i want to be those niche artists who stick to their own lane and post their 50 million merchs of their fav ship. that will be me!!!!!!#im having a junmui plush manu'd in jan so im excited#i also plan on making photo holders and standees and etc etc later on#art summary#munch art
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Buggy being canonically ticklish and his partners just straight up abusing that after a while
Like at first they're just like "who cares"
But then they start giving him a few pokes here and there to bully him and tease him, maybe even during his speeches???
A poke, him trying to not die, Croc and/or Mihawk like "keep your composure, you're an emperor"
And then they end up using it in private cause yeah let's try what it would be like
AND THEN Y'KNOW
✨chaotic✨love✨
So funnily enough, I actually have a fic I'm hoping to post soon with the exact scenario of Croc/Mihawk taking advantage of their sensitive clown! Here's a little preview of that:
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“Well?”
Buggy blinks back to reality, greeted by Crocodile’s smirk. “Uh . . . What?”
“Are you going to thank me?”
He becomes keenly aware of the hand poised above his rib cage, the hook no less threatening on the other side. There’s a right answer, but there’s no necessarily good answer. Buggy doesn’t thank him? He’s going to get tickled until he passes out. Buggy does thank him? Probably still going to get tickled until he passes out. Still, Buggy knows exactly how to answer. He may be a fool, but he’s no idiot.
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#one piece#buggy the clown#sir crocodile#cross guild#writing#i may not have finished kinktober but im still planning on publishing the fics that I had started for it#including this one which I believe would have been day 21#and then once I get those out I want to get to the prompts yall have sent cause they're fantastic and Im so excited#so yeah ive 5-6 kinktober ones i want to complete#tho i may go back to the days i didnt do later#we'll see
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laugh with me while i make my own posts real
tha fuckin outfits under the cut
#snap chats#i dont have a selfie tag but its because i plan on posting selfies once in a blue moon#idk the under the cut’s a warning enough#anyway ive had these shoes for. a while ive just been too lazy to actually put everything on djOAZJAK#oh yeah those are the y3-walk-sound gator boots. i love them very much#i didnt even include the bullet chain meant to go on the gator boots … lol …#ive had these outfits in general for a while but every time i think of showing them i throw up#but i feel brave today…. so what EVER#ok bye i think im eating.#idk im supposed to head out with my bro soon to go grocery shopping but he taking a year so#oh while im here. i still dont know who to go as for animenyc… in august…#my bestis planning to go as aerith so either option would be hilarious#ok im done rambljng now bye
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not nsfw but id make such a good house husband. i just made bagels and im currently working on a fresh batch of yogurt. im also planning on making cream cheese to go with the bagels but im waiting til tomorrow to make those after work. i have so much i want to make and no time to do any of it because i have a full-time job :( i love cleaning and cooking and having time to read and sew, i love making meals for people i love but i never get to :((
#ive also been making filled chocolate bars recently too !!#everyone whos tried thwm has loved them so far :))#planning on making more of those too ..#not nsft#mdni#ftm#house husband#prettypupp thoughts
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On Ibara, Hiyori and the Buisness world of Enstars
Smth smth hiyoiba is a push and pull relationship of who will drop their guard down first. Hiyori is usually first to do so, because of the way Ibara grew up he won’t drop it unless its a completely private space.
I would say that Ibara knows that Hiyori puts up an act. I’m pretty sure its canon that Hiyori was communicating with Eden during Getto Spectacle, and especially towards Eden and upper management. They’re aware of it, but its hard to be vulnerable with these two.
They trust each other. They’re aware of the power they do hold. (Though I’m not sure if the child soldier thing was told to Hiyori in canon) At least in the business world, I’m guessing. Hiyori still has connections, and Ibara has the power to turn his creative ideas into reality.
I really do want an exploration of the buisness side of Enstars. We do have canon corporations, but technically its a competitive monopoly. Eden climax has already brought us a set up, and bringing us to an understanding of how being an idolized person in a competitive market makes you lose yourself and greed talking to make those actions take place.
Their first interactions are about Hiyori’s judge of character and the inner workings of CosPro. (Saga Release 6) Because that is what they know about each other at that moment.
ES is operated mostly by Tenshouin related companies, making their name more widespread. Hiyori comments about this in his Idol Story 2. This is making (his family’s) the Tomoe Foundation’s name lessen. HappyEle, please tell me where the Tomoe’s put their money in. Because its definitely not the entertainment industry.
Anyway, by Hiyori’s actions I suspect that the rest of the Tomoe’s are overworkers~! ⭐️ So while his parent’s respect his decision of going to the entertainment industry, they probably dont understand why he got there in the first place~! ⭐️ That’s why Hiyori is so against Ibara working so much~! ⭐️
#eden enstars#ensemble stars#enstars#hiyori tomoe#ibara saegusa#eden climax#ive been here for like a month and i analyzed this like mad#i havent read everything so its not entirely accurate#i would say rouge ruby is an exploration of that in the background#rouge ruby itself is jun and ibara having vastly different understanding of valentines day (mind vs heart)#anyways#ibara and hiyori hold the most knowledge of how ppl will act in buisness#i need an event around those two#because theyre both overthinkers and you cant change my mind about that#and theyre trying to discuss the next plans for eden that wont go awry#and also follows the orders of CosPro#i dont know how i wrote an essay but thats How I Am I Guess
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