#so ive been home for like. 3 days in the past 2 months

[awerzo]

finally going back home on Wednesday!!!! My Ko-Fi shop should go back up soon, and over the next few weeks I might add some new things to it ;)))) Also I'm considering adding doing some quick sketch commissions so look out for that

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[ohmeowmy]

.

[evie-sturns]

𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 - 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

summary: you and chris have a major argument, which results in you storming out of you and chris's house. he regrets everything, but it results in him saying 'i love you' for the first time.

warnings: angst, swearing, argument, crying, fluff, happy ending!

-----------------*＊✿❀○❀✿＊*--------------------

me and chris have been dating for two months, we've never fought, i mean we've bickered, but never a real argument. we've done alot together, we have a house together, 2 cats, we've hooked up tens of times, but never said those 3 words.

'i love you'.

i think both of us are just terrified of scaring the other person away.

-

"chris! i'm home!" i say, walking through the front door as i put my purse down.

no response.

chris is sitting on the couch, my phone on his lap.

"why do you have my phone baby?" I say, jumping down next to him.

"i think we both know." his voice is filled with emotion, he clenched the pepsi can in his right hand tighter.

i reach out a hand, placing it gently on his thigh, he grabs my wrist and throws my hand towards me, my shoulder is tweaked slightly.

"don't fucking touch me!" he says, looking at me in disgust, raising his voice as he stands up.

my eyebrows furrow from pure confusion as i follow him, standing up and facing him.

"tell me whats happening christopher." i say sternly, my shoulder pulses from the sudden jolt.

chris knows when i use his full name i mean it, i don't just throw it around because of how formal it is.

chris glares down at me before slamming the pepsi can to the floor.

"all these fucking months, all these hookups, all these deep talks, everything meant nothing to you?!" he yells, my heart sinks, ive never liked people yelling at me.

i've always had an attitude, chris knows how to deal with it.

"look, if you dont open your fucking mouth instead of flaming me for something i don't even know, i'm out of here yeah?" i snap back, folding my arms.

"you're so pathetic." he mutters, pushing my shoulder back.

"stop touching me chris!" i scream. squeezing my eyes shut and clenching my fists like a toddler.

he scoffs.

a silence grows before i flop down on the couch, clutching my shoulder. i pat the spot next to me, signalling for him to sit down, hoping we can talk it out.

he takes a step back before yelling, "go call mark, cause he clearly loves you so much!" his voice cracking.

my eyes widen.

"so fuck you!" he yells, i stand up.

his cheeks are flushed his eyes are glossy, chris's bottom lip is quivering.

my gaze softens, but instantly flicks back to a harsh one as chris starts again.

"im done with you're shit y/n, go home! for once in your life just leave. me. alone." he says, his tone cold.

i've never cried in front of chris, i don't cry often and if i do, im always alone. but the way he was looking at me broke something in me.

several tears fall down my cheek as i look up at chris. the tears increase as i just stare at him, his mouth gapes slightly. his eyebrows tilt up above his nose.

i push past him, grabbing my purse and running out the door, chris is speed-walking after me, before i slam the door shut, i yell out.

"by the way chris. mark is my fucking dad." my voice shakes as the tears don't slow.

an audible gasp escapes from chris's lips right before the door shuts.

-

two days ago i stormed through the door to my best friends house, sobbing as she comforted me.

i haven’t texted chris in those two days, but he’s been spamming my phone nonstop.

I sigh, sitting my head up off my best friend, amelia’s chest. “you okay?” she asks, pausing the movie which is playing on her macbook.

“did you not hear?” i ask, adjusting my sweater

“hear what..?” she asks, her eyebrowints furrowing in confusion

“you’re doorbell just rang, i’ll go get it okay?” i say, giving amelia a warm smile as i run downstairs.

i open the door, my heart sinks.

“chris?” i say, taking a nervous step back

his hand is clutched onto a stuffed animal, and a hand picked flower, which is dropping to the side slightly now. chris’s eyes are swollen, his nose red.

“i- uh.. um.” he stammers looking around

i stay silent, waiting for him to start,

he holds a hand out “can we go sit in my car i uh..” he says, his voice cracking

chris has always said his car is his comfort place, the area he feels safest, so i don’t shut him down yet.

i take his hand “amelia! i’ll be back in a few minutes” i yell as i close the front door behind me.

the walk down the driveway is silent, i can feel chris’s hand growing more sweaty by the second. he opens the door for me, the passenger seat has a blanket on it, with a packet of painkillers resting in the middle.

“what’s the pills for?” i ask, looking over my shoulder at chris.

“your shoulder..” he says, a guilty expression plastered across his face.

i nod understandably, sitting down in the car seat.

chris walks over to the driver side, climbing inside.

he lets out an audible swallow before opening his mouth to speak, nothing comes out.

“shit.. sorry ‘m really nervous..” chris says, holding onto a pepsi can.

“i’m so sorry, for even assuming the worst. i feel like an absolute goof for thinking your dad was another person..” he pauses for a second, quickly rubbing his under eyes

“and i was just hurt, i don’t even know why i thought mark was someone else, i should’ve never touched you i feel like shit about that too, and i’ve never seen you cry, so seeing what i had done to effect you just shattered my heart, i just don’t want to loose you and i.. i” he takes in a deep breath

“i love you.”

the rest of his words don’t get through to me, my heart is fluttering, i look over at him, chris’s cheeks are flushed red as his mouth moves quicker than his brain, i lean over the centre console, shutting him up with a kiss.

after a few seconds i pull away, “i love you too christopher.”

-

i run back inside, thanking amelia and telling her everything chris said, amelia is practically crying tears of joy as she hugs me, “go go! go back to his house i love you y/n!” she says, a smile spread ear to ear on her face.

i run back outside to chris, climbing inside his car.

the rest of the conversations go like this.

“are you sure your shoulders okay?”

“chris you barely touched me.”

“no but i made you cry y/n.”

“yeah, not because of the shoulder sweetheart.”

“well i told matt and nick what happened and then ordered a private doctor to come assess you..”

“chris.”

——————————————————————————

ayeee hope y’all like!!

[talewrites]

Heavy Sleeper

I wrote like half of this at 3am 6 months ago and finally decided to finish it 😅

Generation: Bayverse, 2003, 2007 TMNT

TMNT Donatello x Reader

Pronouns: Gender Neutral

Warnings: illness, fainting, fever, IV

Tags: angst, fluff, illness

Summary: You overworked yourself past exhaustion helping Donnie with a new project. Not that you minded. Or noticed, until it was too late.

Word Count: 3229

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

It has been a long night. …..and a long morning. You had been spending the last few days with Donnie occupied in the lab, helping him with some of the smaller, more detailed work on his new security device. While you were busy soldering pathways onto extra small microchips at the workbench, Donnie was typing away creating the programming at his computer. It required a high level of focus. Which, honestly, you usually didn’t have. However, this project had all your attention, and you had been happily hyper focused on designing the little golden pathways on those tiny green wafer boards for almost 3 days straight.

Donnie was extremely grateful for your help. But he was suspicious how his energetic little dove was being so quiet and still while they worked. The thought came to him a few times that he should go check on you again, but he was equally engrossed in his own project and kept getting sucked back into the work.

Your trick was: caffeine. You had discovered in college that if you drank caffeine on an empty stomach, you could stay extra focused for hours on end. Obviously, this wasn’t good for your health. Or your stomach. But usually you would finish whatever project it was you were laser focused on within the day, so the strain on your body wouldn’t last that long.

This was lasting very long. Very very long. And you had no idea of the passage of time. There was no sun peeking through curtains to inform you that you had worked through the night, or disgruntled roommate checking in to wonder why you hadn’t emerged all day. Donnie’s brothers were very well used to his overworking tendencies, so they paid it no mind he was only coming out for coffee and pop tarts. What they didn’t realize was that you were still in the lair, all assuming you had gone home after the first night. So none had thought to go in to check on the lab.

Here lies the dilemma. It had been maybe 64 hours since you had slept or properly consumed anything besides coffee and a singular package of pop tarts, frequently forgetting about the pile of snacks Donnie kept leaving on your desk. Your back was stiff, muscles sore, and your throat was starting to feel incredibly dry. But all your attention being on finishing your project meant all your physical awareness was finely tuned out.

Except that little tickle in the back of your throat.

It started maybe 5…. 6 hours ago. It was a little bothersome, making you clear your throat and drink a little more coffee to soothe it. But it kept coming back. The tickle started to become a little painful, and clearing your throat turned into small dry coughs. You were drinking more and more coffee to try and wash down the feeling or maybe chase away the dehydration. Your lips started to feel dry, then your eyes, joining in with your uncomfortably dry throat. By the time evening rolled around, your chest was burning terribly, and a migraine had started to thrum with your pulse. Having finished your pot of coffee maybe 2 hours ago and hadn’t bothered to go make more, you were thinking you just needed to get more to drink.

You took a small pause in your welding to push up your goggles and wipe at your dry eyes, when suddenly your vision blurred. For a second, you suddenly found your body lurching to the side off your chair before you caught yourself on the side of the desk.

‘Huh… that was weird. Maybe I’m just tired. I’ll go make more coffee.’

Donnie had been bringing you refills whenever he had gotten up to make more, but you had finished your pot twice as fast as usual. You moved to the side of your chair to stand, and your feet touched the ground with your full weight. To your surprise, your knees almost buckled underneath you, and blackness started to creep in the edges of your vision.

Your body felt weak, and your muscles ached. Keeping a death grip on the edge of the table, you took a slow step towards Donnie’s part of the lab, then another. You blinked rapidly to try and chase away the encroaching darkness creeping in your vision, but too soon your eyesight went dark, and it felt like your brain was shutting down. Internally, you were panicking and fighting to stay conscious, but all you could manage was weakly calling out for Donnie before you blacked out. You didn’t even feel yourself hit the ground.

Donnie, on the other side of the lab, had pulled away from his computer moments before to rub a hand down over his face. This line of code was driving him crazy and he couldn’t figure out where he’d gone wrong. He briefly heard the scrape of (y/n) pushing their chair away from the table, and expected to hear your footsteps head past him to the small bathroom in the back of the lab. He took a moment to flag this line of code- again, for further meddling later. The genius turtle had to admit he was reaching his limits on staying awake and figured it was time he took himself and (y/n) to bed.

But where was (y/n)? They hadn’t come in to greet him yet. Were they just adjusting their chair? That was when he heard it.

“d….don nie…” your voice called out weakly, strained, and barely above a whisper before he heard a light thud from the other room. Had you dropped something? He quickly pulled himself to stand and made his way to the other room to check on what it was you needed.

There. On the floor. You laid still and unmoving on your side against the cold floor.

“(Y/N)!!!!” Donnie exclaimed. Startled, he rushed to your side and dropped down beside you, pulling you into his lap. “(Y/n)! (Y/N)!!!!” He shook you slightly trying to rouse your attention, but your eyes were closed and your body fully limp in his arms. Unresponsive. Quickly, he felt for your pulse, sighing when he found it, but worried by the heightened pace. Donnie scooped you up into his arms and quickly carried you towards the med bay across the lair.

He made his way out of his lab and passed the living room where Mikey and Leo were watching a movie on the TV, and Raph was making a sandwich in the kitchen.

“Huh? Donnie? Is that (y/n)? I didn’t see them come in… are they asleep??” Leo asked when he saw Donnie rush out holding you in his arms.

“No time. (Y/n) fainted in the lab.” Donnie rushed out and speed walked through the clear plastic panels into the med bay, ignoring the startled ‘WHAT’ echoed by Leo and Mikey, and what sounded like Raph choking on his sandwich.

He laid you out gently on the padded white exam table, 3 sizes too big for you, and rushed around the drawers and cabinets. He acquired a stethoscope, thermometer, blood pressure pump, and various other tools to properly check your health and brought them over to the table beside you just as his brothers rushed in.

“ANGELCAKES ARE YOU OKAY??? Ow-“ Mikey rushed in pushing past Leo and Raph and dramatically ran to your side before Raph smacked the back of his head.

“Mikey, chill out. Give ‘em some room.” Raph growled out, trying to pull his dramatic little brother back while Leo stepped forward.

“Donnie, what happened to (y/n)?”

Donnie was now wearing the stethoscope and had the end pressed to the rise and fall of your chest as your breathing strained.

“Hmm… heart palpitations… lungs… crackling sound… that can’t be good.” Donnie was muttering notes under his breath, reaching up to place his hand over your forehead. He found a scorching hot fever and his heart sank. Only then did he turn to Leo. “We… we’ve been working in the lab the past few days… pretty intensely….” Donnie winched. “In hindsight, we did not take as many breaks as we should have. It appears (y/n) has collapsed from exhaustion.” Donnie’s eyes went downcast. He looked equally tired, but guilt was weighing heavy on his shoulders.

“They’ve been here all along?? We thought they went home days ago. Aren’t they usually the one making sure you’re eating and taking breaks to sleep?” The shock in Leo’s voice was clear. You were usually so doting with Donnie, cooking his favorite foods and dragging him off to bed with you to make sure he was well taken care of when he got too involved in his work. It appears this time the tables were turned. “They were helping you with a project? Have they been eating enough?” Leo pressed.

That seemed to have caught Donnie’s attention and he suddenly turned back to continue his check on you. “Yes, I’ve been bringing them snacks whenever I’d get up for coffee. They must’ve been weakened from lack of rest and dehydration…. I’m going to check their blood pressure.” Donnie wrapped the cuff around your arm, and started to inflate it when you started to stir.

“Huh… that doesn’t look good.”

Your eyes fluttered open and you took a deep breath. The bright lights making you wince and shut your eyes again. You moved to bring a hand up to your face but was surprised to feel the tug of something around your arm.

“Mmh? Donnie…? What time is it…” You stretched, confused as to why your body ached so much. Why was he looming over you? And his room was never this bright or cold.

“(Y/n)! Thank goodness… Darling, when was the last time you ate?” Donnie held your shaky hand in his and gently stroked his thumb over your knuckles.

“Hm…? The uh…. Pop tarts you gave me…”

Donnie sighed in relief, remembering he had brought you a package of pop tarts to set on your desk just that afternoon.

“Right after we took a nap together.”

Then Donnie blanched.

“Sweetheart… our last nap together was almost 3 days ago. What happened to the snacks I was leaving on your desk…?” He asked, trying to be hopeful. They had disappeared each time he had returned, so he assumed you had eaten them.

“3 days…? Oh…. Um… they were in the way, so I moved them to the bench for later…. I must’ve forgotten about them.”

Leo slapped a hand over his face. He was realizing you and his brother had more in common than he thought.

“Mikey, can you please go make some soup? Raph, please let dad know that (y/n) will be staying over for the next few days.” Mikey did a mock salute and rushed to the kitchen to make some light chicken noodle soup and Raph left to find Master Splinter in his plant room. Leo went to grab some clean blankets and a spare pillow from their storage room.

Your breathing was labored in the now quiet room. You turned your head to the side to rest against the cool pillow as you gazed up at Donnie with your shiny dazed eyes, cheeks flushed and red. “I almost finished the motherboard… just gotta… add the red and yellow wires…” You trailed off as your eyes slid shut. They burned with exhaustion and the light was hurting your head.

Donnie leaned in close and cupped your cheek gently, and pressed a kiss to your sweaty forehead. His brow furrowed with worry, but his eyes were soft with adoration. “You did an amazing job. I’ll finish it up later, you just get some rest. Okay?” His thumb stroked your cheek.

“Mh hm… don’t forget the… polyimide adhesive tape…’s under my jacket…” You mumbled as you easily slipped into sleep.

Donnie smiled at you. He loves you. He loves that you taught yourself engineering to help him out with his workload. But right now he was regretting it, seeing the heavy bags under your eyes as you slept soundly. He scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed.

When you learned that it was difficult for him and his brothers to do the delicate work of designing circuit boards for their tech, he was surprised you immediately showed interest in learning. He admittedly didn’t take you very seriously at first. But then you started joining him in the lab on long nights to study books you had checked out from the library on basic engineering, he taught you how to assemble his tech and how to solder and weld the machines together into things that would help them on patrol and repair things around the lair. He still remembers the first thing you’d ever made. The poorly soldered little metal band he wore around his right pinky finger.

Leo came back in with the blankets in tow. “Should we move them to your bed?” He asked Donnie.

“Not yet, I need to set them up with an IV to get some fluids in them first. I suspect they’re very dehydrated, on top of the general exhaustion.” Donnie was swaying in place. He looked exhausted, and Leo felt worry for you and his brother. It had been a long time since you last let him overwork himself to this extent. He blamed himself for not checking in on his brother sooner.

”Why don’t you go lie down? I’ll set up (y/n)’s IV and keep an eye on them.”

”But (y/n)….”

”-Would want you to rest.” Leo finished with a knowing smile.

Donnie sighed and looked you over. Leo unfolded the blanket and draped it over you so you wouldn’t get cold. Donnie fussed with bringing the edge right up under your chin and fixed your hair. He didn’t want to leave you in here, but he knew Leo was right. He wouldn’t be much use to you if both of you collapsed from exhaustion, so he relented.

”Wake me up if you need anything.” Donnie stood up on shaky legs.

”Uh huh.” Leo put his hands on Donnie’s shoulders and led him out of the med bay.

”And I mean anything-“

“Of course Donnie, now go to bed.” Leo pushed him out in the direction of their bedrooms. Raph and Mikey in the kitchen watched as Donnie trudged and swayed towards his bedroom, and disappeared into the darkness swinging his door shut.

“Duuude. Do I gotta start hiding the coffee again?” Mikey said from where he was chopping veggies for your soup.

Leo pointed at Mikey, “No more caffeine for those two for a month!”

Raph grunted a laugh.

Leo had set up your IV, just like Donnie had taught him. After an hour and a half, your body had absorbed most of the fluids, so Leo felt satisfied enough to wake you up. He shook your shoulder a bit to wake you up. You were deep asleep. The soup at your bedside that Mikey had brought in had cooled to a safe temperature, so he wanted to make sure you ate something hearty before he sent you back to bed.

”Mmh?” You finally started to stir.

”(Y/n), wake up. You’ve got to eat something.” Leo coaxed.

Your eyes fluttered open and immediately winced at the bright light. Leo stood over you to shield your eyes from the overhead light as you adjusted.

“Where’s Donnie?” You asked a bit dazed, looking around. The tickle in your throat was now a scratchy and irritated pain. You coughed hard into your fist.

”He went to bed. Here, Mikey made you some soup. It should still be warm enough.” Once you had sat up he handed you the bowl.

“Try and eat as much of it as you can, so you can take your medicine.”

You hummed in response, stifling another cough. You balanced the soup in your lap and slowly ate, spooning the warm chicken stock and veggies into your mouth. It soothed your throat, and with a few more bites you felt less shaky. You ate slowly, but you managed to finish almost the entire bowl.

Leo looked pleased and handed you your meds to swallow. Mikey poked his head in through the door to check on you as well.

”How’s angelcakes feeling?”

You paused a long moment as you sipped at a glass of water.

“Better.” You croaked. You still felt absolutely dreadful, but, “the soup helped. Thank you Mikey.”

The orange ninja beamed. Raph also peaked in over his little brother’s shoulder.

Leo looked back to you and took the bowl and spoon from your lap. He checked your IV pack and saw that most of it was gone. Your eyes looked heavy again as your body begged for more rest.

”I think it’s time you got some more sleep.” Leo mothered you. He tried to lift the edge of the blanket to cover you as you lay down but your hand stopped him.

Your red rimmed eyes were distant, and you cleared your throat as you found your words. “….Can I go to Donnie’s room? Please?”

Leo couldn’t help but smile at the innocent request. “Sure thing. Come on-“ You sat back up and Leo removed your IV. He motioned for you to adjust yourself, and Leo wrapped you up like a burrito in the blanket before scooping you up and carried you out of the med bay.

Mikey chuckled and rushed over to open Donnie’s door for you and his brother.

”Special delivery!!” He called into the darkness of Donnie’s room. A groan echoed out as the exhausted purple turtle was woken up. Leo carried you in and Donnie scooted over to make room for you to be deposited on his bed.

”Thanks Leo… hey babe…” Donnie greeted you sleepily, sitting up in bed as he received you and untangled you from the blanket.

Leo quietly walked out of the room to give you two privacy, and shoved Mikey’s face out of the way so he could close the heavy metal door behind him.

You stifled a cough, and reached out for Donnie in the darkness. The purple turtle dipped down into your embrace, and smooched your flushed red cheek. His arms slid up your back, and he pulled you flush against him in a warm embrace. He patted around for the edge of the blanket, before pulling it up and covering the both of you. He sighed deeply as he relaxed again against the pillows with you wrapped up in his arms.

”Thanks for helping me….. but please don’t ever do that again.” He mumbled against the crown of your head.

”Do what?” You asked, already half asleep.

”Collapse.”

You hummed a little laugh and snuggled in impossibly closer.

”I’ll do my best…”

Donnie pressed another quick kiss to your head, and you both quickly slipped back asleep.

The End :]

[atlabeth]

she's like the wind

knight!luke masterlist

pairing: knight!luke castellan x princess!reader

summary: you and luke get a reality check.

a/n: ive been on the hurricane train lately but knight!luke still has me in a chokehold lol so here's a lil blurb for you all! based off of this request; title from the patrick swayze song bc are you kidding me "just a fool to believe i am anything she needs" UGH you're everything she needs it's just that neither of you know it yet

wc: 1.8k

warning(s): angst lol! discussions of arranged marriages, luke is sad, princess is sad and a little mean bc she goes into princess mode, they both place their duty above their feelings </3

okay sooooo

last time we left off you and Luke had a nice lil moonlight dance in your room after you both had to get through a ball 

and things have been pretty good since then! nothing is awkward between the two of you (sometimes being oblivious towards the depth of your feelings is a good thing) and you’re back to joking around w each other all the time

but you’re the princess and things can never be easy for you. Your whole day (and not to be dramatic but basically your whole life) is ruined by a private meeting with your parents. 

It’s marriage. obviously it’s marriage. 

Your kingdom needs allies at a moment like this and marriage is the easiest way to do it so. like. the sooner the better princess!!! 

and like you KNEW it was coming. You knew there was really no way to avoid it. that doesn’t mean you naively hoped you could. 

But it’s one thing for a prince to court you at a ball for the night and forget him as soon as you get home. 

It’s another thing entirely for that prince and his parents to visit your kingdom and stay for a week. which is exactly what’s going to happen. 

During that meeting, your parents tell you that the prince of the kingdom that held the last ball (the one that both sets of parents want you to marry, the one that gave you a tour, the one that is the most boring man alive) and his parents will be staying in the castle

And while your parents will be talking with his, trying to secure an alliance for any kind of protection, they’ve encouraged you to spend time with him, make him feel welcome, forge a bond, make him like you. 

“Why?” you ask. You know the answer, you know what they’re implying, but you want them to say it out loud. You want them to resign you to this fate themselves. 

“Because if all goes well, he will be courting you within the month,” your father says, and yeah, it does make you feel worse now that he’s blatantly said it. you didn’t really know what your plan was there. 

“It is the best decision for all of us, darling,” your mother says. 

You fight them over it. obviously. but it’s no good, and you leave the room absolutely fuming. 

Thankfully, Luke is busy training, because you don’t think that you could explain this to him right now. 

But you don’t tell him even when he later accompanies you to the library. Or when he asks you how your day went. Or when he asks in five different ways if you’re okay. 

Luke knows something is off almost immediately when he meets up with you again because 1. he knows you. 2. you won’t look him in the eye 3. HE KNOWS YOU BFFR

but he doesn’t push it, and you’re eternally thankful. 

Why, you may ask? Because you don’t want to talk to Luke about this kind of thing. 

Why, you may ask again? Because you’re in love with him and don’t know it yet. 

But because you don’t know it yet, you just feel weird talking about stuff like that with him. Even thinking about it around him. It was bad enough when Luke had to accompany you and the prince around the past week—you can’t imagine Luke being around when you’re trying to charm this guy. 

He’s going to find out eventually, namely when said prince arrives in the castle, but you just can not bring yourself to tell him. 

Thankfully, you don’t have to! Because he’s one of the kingsguard and one of the first things they do that next morning is discuss security for the incoming royal family. And even though Luke figures it all out pretty quickly, he figures it out even quicker with the immediate gossip through the servants and maids. 

And listen. 

He knows his place. He knows he’s a knight, he knows he’s your knight, and he knows that his duty is to keep you safe no matter what. He knows just as well as you do that you would be married off eventually, but just like you, he chose to naively ignore that fact for as long as he can. 

And it’s not just you that he has a promise to—when he asked your father to let him be your personal guard, he swore himself to your protection and to stay away from you in that regard. Luke lied and said he would never think of it, but he’s had a thing for you since you were kids. 

Luke guesses he thought he would get over it as he grew, but he’s only fallen harder for you with the years. He’s got himself stuck between a rock and a hard place and he’s got no one to blame but himself. 

But he feels like his teeth are going to crack with how hard he clenches his jaw during the entire meeting. It was difficult enough maintaining his front while the prince showed you around the castle—Luke doesn’t know how he’s going to survive your parents’ most open attempt at arranging marriage thus far. 

At least he has a reason to go see you right after. He is your guard, after all. 

The bigger problem is the correct timing. Luke can tell that you’re upset the instant he’s in your proximity, and he doesn’t want to upset you further in his quest for answers. 

But near the end of the day, when he’s escorted you back to your room after dinner and you’re beginning to take off your jewelry, he finally speaks up. 

“Princess,” Luke said, standing in the doorway, “may I have a word?” 

Your body tensed and your hands stopped on the clasp of a bracelet. You knew what was coming, but you nodded nonetheless. You didn’t know if you would be able to speak with the dryness of your throat. 

You heard the door close behind you, and you busied yourself taking off the rest of your jewelry as Luke began. 

“I’ve heard the royal family of Birchmund is visiting,” he said. 

You wet your lips and swallowed, trying to alleviate the cotton in your mouth. “You’re correct.” 

“And I’ve heard… other things,” he continued. “Of their prince. And you.” 

You closed your jewelry box with a bit too much force. “The decision of my parents.” 

“I figured.” Luke cleared his throat, and you still couldn’t stand to look at him. “What… what is going to happen?” 

“Luke,” you started, “I don’t want to talk about this with you.” 

“Please, princess,” he said. “I… merely want to know what to expect. If you are to be accompanying him most of the week, I’ll have to adjust my own schedule.” 

You bit down hard on the inside of your cheek, steeling yourself before you finally turned around to face him. “My parents want me to get him on our side, Luke. It will be easier to forge an alliance if we have a good relationship, and it will be easier to—” You paused, closing your eyes for a moment before you finished. “To negotiate a marriage if he already likes me.” 

And Luke just stared at you. You didn’t know what he wanted from you, why he wanted to hear you say it. Probably the same reason you wanted to hear your parents say it—to know it was truly real. 

“You don’t want this,” Luke said. His voice was quieter, but his posture hadn’t changed. Always a knight. 

“What I want doesn’t matter,” you said. 

“You’re a person too,” he insisted. “You deserve to go after what you want.” 

“I am a princess before I am a person.” You turned back around and started removing your jewelry again—you needed something to focus on. “I want what is necessary for my kingdom.” 

“Princess.” Luke sounded a little desperate, now. “This— it’s so formal. This isn’t how we talk to each other. We’re friends above everything.” 

Your skin burned where his fingers brushed over your neck, where he held you while you danced. Luke was your closest friend, but— but you couldn’t. You couldn’t have him so close and yearn for so much that you can never have, while the prince you might have to marry stood on your other side. 

“Maybe my priorities have been wrong.” You planted your hands on your vanity to prevent them from shaking. “What I want doesn’t matter. If I can prevent a war by offering my hand, it is my duty to do so.” 

“We…” you swallowed the lump in your throat and shook your head. “We cannot keep doing this. It would be an embarrassment to any prince for his betrothed to be so attached to her knight.” 

“We’re friends,” Luke insisted. “We always have been. No prince that desires your hand could understand even the slightest bit of what we’ve been through together.” 

“No,” you agreed. “But that means little in the scheme of everything else.” 

Luke’s jaw clenched ever so slightly. “This can’t possibly make you happy.” 

“What I want doesn’t matter,” you repeated, stronger this time. “This kingdom matters more than— than my childish desires. They depend on us for their protection, and I owe it to each and every one of my people to do all I can to ensure that protection.” 

“Princess—” Luke started, because you both knew what you were referring to, but you held up a hand and it stopped him in his tracks. 

“You are my knight,” you said. “And I am your princess. Eventually, I will be queen. My parents have told me I need to look to the future, to stop with silly trifles before they become more.” 

“It’s more than that,” he said quietly. “You’re my best friend. You’re the reason I’m standing here today.” 

“You act as if your duty is to die for me,” you continued. “But your duty is to keep me safe. And this is how I stay safe—by following the word of my parents and securing it myself.” 

“So this is your solution,” Luke attempted. “To try and ruin our friendship in the name of a marriage you don’t want.” 

“You may retire for the night, Sir Castellan,” you said, and your words rang hollow. “I’d like to be alone.” 

He stared at you, dark eyes indecipherable, but he nodded and moved to the door. Before he shut it, his gaze met yours again. 

“You may not care about what you want,” Luke said quietly. “But I do. And my loyalty is to you, princess. Not your parents. And certainly no prince.” 

Then he bowed, and he closed the door quietly behind him. 

but that night, when you settle into your silken sheets and luke takes his place in the barracks, you think of each other as you fall asleep and you dream of each other once you are.

the ties between you are not so easily broken. 

[4pfsukuna]

Enemies to f⭐️cking lover Toji

Ok so ive been thinking about releasing a 3-5 part enemies to lovers(or something along those lines) for toji although i know the most common works on here is one shot smut. Trust smut will be involved… its toji

You used to be an american spy but japan pays nearly tripple. The jobs were quick easy taking 2 days at max. You had climbed the interest ladder for your ability to get things done in a quick and neat fashion with minimal mess and uproar increasing your salary from 4 figures to six in only a couple of months. Unfortunately theres another assasin whos getting in your way and hes the exact opposite of everything you stand for. 

Not only does he not wear a mask to cover his identity, he lets his targets know exactly who he his just so they can have his name as their last thought before death.

Toji fushiguro.

The biggest jackass youve ever met.

This wasnt your typical one sided beef where youd get mad at him and hed flirt no he had beef with the number one assassin who was stealing his target which means his money. It truly grinded his gears and yours when they made you split a salary.

“Might as well go home princess” you hear his raspy voice though princess was said in a derogatory way hes made it clear several times he hated the way you did things. Why be so… clean. Death is death.

“Fuck off pretty boy go back and crawl into whatever shitty little backroom of a laundry mat and return to horse betting” you seethe having done your research on him. Its not like he needed the money for anything important unlike you who wanted it for taking care of responsibilities back home.

This mission had been one of your biggest yet and you did not need to blow your hiding spot nor cover by arguing with his big ass over nothing.

You're grabbed from the crouching position your in and slammed against the brick wall not hard enough to hurt but it does press into your all black outfit.

“You can do whatever research you want on me but you dont fucking know me… you dont know shit.” he snarls lip on his scar stretching further yet you shove him off. “And im not a pretty boy”

“Please youre not the threat you think you are” you scoff attempting to bruise his ego and the way he steps forward lets you know you did but you never let your guard down to your surroundings and youre quick to pull out your gun aiming in his direction.

He chuckles crossing his arms over his broad chest and you may be uninterested but youre not blind to how his compression tee squeezes him in a way thats… satisfactory to the eye.

“Going to shoot me princess? I thought you were too good to get your hands dirty. Squeemish at blood even” he pokes until you release six shots shooting the men slowly approaching that he failed to notice.

“You fucking shot me!” He growls touching the tiny drip of blood from where the bullet grazed the tip of his ear just enough to break skin not cause any definite damage. 

Taking a bow you smirk before making eye contact with him the only gap in your mask being the slot for your eyes.

“Oh sorry about that pretty boy, ill do you a solid and let you tell shiu you got this one all on your own.” you tease knowing his pride wouldn't let him take the credit for something he wouldn’t do. 

“No i don’t want your pity kill” he seethes looking as if he’s ready to throw a tantrum yet you can only smile knowing you won this battle.

“Great more money for me” you grin running past him the location no longer serving you any purpose. It was time to cash in and Shiu didnt stay up past 2am.

Toji grabs your arm stopping you from escaping though before he could speak the faint sound of sirens in the distance growing closer.

“What? You goin’ to hold me here until the cops get here with these other dead bodies how do you think that’s going to look? A big, strong and muscular giant holding a petite young woman like myself” you victimize yourself and you watch the frustration grow in his eyes knowing he has to let you go.

“Its not fucking over” he hisses releasing you with a slight push making your smile grow even wider.

“Great more chances for me to teach a pup like you what not to do” you tease tearing off a piece of his shirt and pressing it to his ear. “Wouldn’t want your blood at a crime scene would we fushiguru”

And youre dissapearing into the darkness of night and he watches your silhouette slip down an alley until he no longer can. 

You may have thought you had the last laugh but he was best friends with Shiu. So when you near you third week of no assignment you figure its time to reach out to the former and see what the issue is. Learning that Toji somehow convinced him you wanted a break you decided it was time to cut your ties temporarily with the man and find a new “project manager”

The next assignment is the most you’ve ever been offered so high in the six digits it’s close to seven and for a simple retreival mission.

So when youre standing surrounded

“Toj

Waking up with a throbbing headache youre confused when you meet the eyes of a spikey haired 5 year old who is playing with a toy truck a black puppy not to far behind. He must feel you stairing since he turns to face you and gives you a toothy grin.

“My dad must like you, he doesnt let us wear hats in the house but let you keep your mask on” he stutters slightly and you reach up feeling the mask

[frodo-a-gogo]

I’m sorry!! I need to know… will you continue your relapse comic???

Yes 100 percent yes. If u have only seen it on tumblr check out my twitter (@emilyriordan5) where ive been updating more pages past what ive posted here. I had been doing a page a week or a page every 2 or 3 days depending on how impatient i got lol, but in the past few weeks i took a break from updating cus 1. Im visiting a friend in another country r now 2. My part time job upped my hours and i wanna prioritize that cus i need the scratch 3. The next few months im gonna be working very hard on some animation production projects to fix my portfolio up to apply for a fellowship (ill be posting the work i do on that btw) 4. The next few months I'll also probs be very preoccupied with figuring out some stuff for a medical thing. 5. Family stüff

Ill be posting more pages soon tho, i have some partially finished ones i intend to polish as im traveling back home. The comic itself is gonna be 60 pages or so (it may balloon out to like 70, i keep on finding stuff to add lol) script is complete, thumbnail are partially complete etc.

There's no way in hell im not finishing this, i love the script too much and i wanna share it in the optimal way as a lot of it is contingent on visual communication. If i ever do give up the ghost on this project id probably at least post the script so ppl would know where i was going with the comic, but my intention as of right now is to complete it at my own pace. I thank you for your patience and interest!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for giving away my sisters fish?

This is a dumb and very long story (i could probably shorten it somehow but I don't know how) and I know the title makes me look bad.

Ok so, one evening my mom and my little sister(let's call her Jess) brought home a container of four fish that mum said she saw a guy selling on the road for about 2 dollars (I'm not american so I just calculated and it comes out to around 2 dollars)

This was during the end of year break when Jess was home (usually we all go to boarding school) None of us had ever had pet fish before and we didn't know what kind of fish they were, they looked different from each other and their size difference was pretty big too(the largest was about the size of three nail clippers stacked on top of each other and the smallest was about the size of 1/2 of a car key). So we weren't sure of the species of any and bought the most nondescript pack of fish food we could find, they ate it so we thought things were ok.

About 1 month into the break though (the end of year break where I am is 2 months), 1 of the fish died for reasons we still don't know (we changed the water every 3 days) and two weeks later a second one just disappeared, it wasn't in the bowl, and no one knew what happened. So by the time school started there were 2 fish left (Jess was sad but we also have dogs so she wasn't too sad)

All of us go to different boarding schools but ive been going to a day-school this past year because I'm scheduled for a surgery, so when everyone went back it was just me with the fish.

My elder sister (let's call her Kat) came home from university for a while and she thought the fish were cool so she asked my mom if she could tell her where she got them so she could get some for her dorm. My mom told her she just got them from some guy on the road who didn't have a stall and probably wouldn't be there if she drove to the place she found him. So she went back to uni without any fish

Flash forward, 4 weeks into the term, my mom comes to get me from school and she says was passing the area she saw the guy and he was there with another container of fish this time with about 10 fish also of various muddy and sandy colours, about length of the diameter of a soda-bottle cap (my mom said they also cost her about 2 dollars). I said we could split the fish in half, keep 6 and give Kat 6 for her dorm.

So I'm sitting in the car, holding the container of fish my laps and my mom suddenly stops the car because a person walking on the sidewalks falls into the trenches on the sides of the road. The person is ok but the car stops so suddenly and I'm not holding the container securely so it falls from my laps.

The container has a lid so the car is ok but the guy added some small rocks and a fake plant to the container so they kind of bury the some of fish and 6 of them die. I look on like an idiot while mom tries to settle the rocks but another fish is buried when the rocks are settled.

By the time we get home and transfer all the living fish into the bowl we already have, we have 5 fish in total. We move them to a new, slightly bigger bowl and feed them but by the next morning when I'm going to school i see 3 fish left.

When I get home, I tell my mom that maybe we aren't ready for fish and we should give them to Kat whose dorm may be less of a safety hazard (during the end of year break we used to play with the fish a lot, trying to touch their tails etc so we're definitely the reason the first batch died anyway. We're also 8 kids and there are kids older and younger than me so it would be hard to stop EVERYONE from being rough with the fish). I also had exams coming up and I was starting to put of changing the water and cleaning bowl until i saw algae growing on sides.

Kat has a roommate who thinks the fish are cool too so incase one of them forgets maintaining the fish the other can do it. (I also kind of secretly hoped the all fish would just die a week or two into being with them so it wouldn't bother them anymore I feel bad about it)

Anyway, 3 weeks later when Kat came home she took the fish with her. It's around the middle of the first term so it was Visitation Day at Jess's school yesterday (I think the name is self explanatory) and the first thing she asked about was the fish. I didn't know what to say so I told her the truth and she was so SAD!!(I mean obviously she'd be sad but visitation day is supposed to be a good day) because we named the fish and everything(the first batch, not the second) . I tried to tell her how Kat and her roommate were nice and would give the new fish good name but she said that was dumb I knew that was dumb and I wish had just lied about the whole thing and asked my mom to buy new fish but I feel like Jess would know so said nothing else

My mom kind of cheered her up by saying that during the holidays they could go get a good tank and actual goldfish from a better place but she was mad at me because I suggested that the fish be given to Kat and I feel like she's right because it would be stupid to ask Kat to bring the fish wish her the next time she came home.

All my other siblings not just Jess also got attached to the fish so I'll just be breaking the news to everyone for the next three weeks (because all schools where I am schedule visitation day in the same month) and just generally ruining the mood.

What are these acronyms?

[bedoballoons]

AHH THIS IS ADOORABLE could you make a part 2 from finding a baby on the door and then after taking care of the baby and decided to keep it or unless not...👀 BUT ANYWAYS Loving the Genshin characters sm

YES! I was really hoping someone would want a part 2! Thank you so much for your request!

Genshin Men Headcanons:

✿~Part 2!~✿

~Taking care of the baby and deciding to keep them...or not~

A/N: If someone would like to see alternate endings for example, if someone doesn't keep the baby and you want them too, or they kept the baby and you don't want them too, OR you want other characters, don't be afraid to ask! Requests are open! <3

(Includes: Tighnari, Kazuha, Wanderer, Xiao, and Cyno!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Tighnari (Doesn't keep):

You giggled quietly, watching Tighnari as he attempted to feed the baby and proceeded to spill more than half of the baby food on the little one, rather than actually get it in their mouth. The tiny being laughing hysterically as food dripped down its messy chin and dirty fingers, their eyes filled with so much happiness.

By now the two of you had spent enough time taking care of the baby you had a bit of a rhythm, each morning you'd take turns feeding or making breakfast, Tighnari would leave for work most of the day and then you'd come back together for dinner. It was a perfect...each day went by quickly and it felt like you were now a family. Of course, that was only wishful thinking...after all the Mahamatra had said they would stop by after two weeks to collect the baby...find them a permanent good home.

You wanted to talk to Tighnari about it...see if he felt the same way you did...about keeping the little one, even if it wasn't what either of you had planned..."Tighnari...?" You said quietly, feeling nervous as his ears flicked your way, his eyes still focused on the baby as he tried to clean him up a little. "Hmm?" He sounded distracted and for a second you wondered if perhaps you should leave it for a different day...but you were running low on time.

"...Can we keep...the baby?" His head turned to you as you spoke, his eyes slightly widened as he stared at you, was...it really such a surprising question? He sighed softly, leaving the baby to keep playing with their food as he walked over to you...your heart already starting to sink. "Ive known for some time now you wanted to keep them, but...what if that's just baby fever? We've only had them for a week and a half...and with me having work as a forest ranger, Collei, and the side job of being a on call doctor...there's already so much going on..."

His words...they made sense, but you didn't want to believe them...you almost wanted to cry, tears welling up in your eyes as you looked past him, the baby mere feet from you still laughing sweetly as they splashed food onto the table. "I truthfully...don't think this is baby fever Tighnari...I know you have a lot on your shoulders...but I'm here to help and the baby...they were given to us...don't you think it was meant to be...?"

He had to of noticed your reaction as he stepped closer to you, pulling you into a caring embrace, and gently kissing your forehead before responding, "I'm sorry...but I don't think we are ready for this. I'm not completely cutting out the idea of starting a family...but right now isn't a good time." You stepped out of his embrace, you just... needed a moment to yourself, you thought as you ran into the bedroom...closing the door behind you...

Kazuha (Keeps):

Apparently the people of Inazuma weren't interested in adoption, after speaking to Heizou, who was unable to find the original parents of the baby, he said he'd do his best to find a nice home for them...but you'd both have to watch them in the meantime....that was almost a month ago. You didn't really mind though, each day had been a wonderful, even with difficult times and stinky diapers, Kazuha was always there for you.

Just like now, the two of you sitting on the floor, cuddled together as you played with the baby, pretending to sneeze or blow kisses at them, their small face so full of joy as they giggled loudly. The both of you couldn't help but giggle along with them, the two of you having so much fun...you couldn't help but want to stay like this. To think...you'd never really thought about children to now...it felt crazy.

Your gaze left the babies adorable face and instead landed on Kazuha, his mouth in a wide smile and his cheeks slightly blushed from the amount of laughing he had done. Your mind making you speak before you could even truly think of the words to say, "Let's keep them Kazuha....I love them and I think we should keep them...raise them together." You watched nervously as he went through so many emotions, shock...then back to happiness and then to love.

He leaned his forehead against yours, giving you soft butterfly kisses before he spoke, his voice sounding calm and loving, "I've been thinking about that too...seeing you with the baby...it makes me feel like I'm in a dream and I want to stay in that dream...forever. You both have become the reason I no longer need to wander...I've already found everything I could have ever been looking for."

Your eyes started to water, you felt so overwhelmingly happy, this really was a dream come true and you got to experience it with the most perfect person for you. You gave him a sweet kiss, pouring all of your feelings into it before gently pulling the baby into your lap. Kazuhas arms wrapping around you both...you were a family now after all.

Wanderer (Keeps):

(I use the nickname Scara here!)

You laughed loudly, your stomach slightly hurting from laughing so hard for so long as you watched Scara struggle to dress the baby, the cute sunflower onesie being difficult as the the little one waved it's arms and legs, laughing so much you couldn't help but wonder if their tummy was going to hurt by the time he was done getting them dressed.

"This is impossible.." Scara finally decided as he stepped away, he had a small smile on his face and a light blush on his cheeks, showing he was slightly embarrassed he couldn't do this simple task. He wouldn't say it out loud...at least not yet, but he enjoyed making you both smile and laugh, knowing he was finally...apart of a family. He couldn't believe he was actually...happy being a parental figure, it was almost like he was making up for how he had been treated by his own mother.

When you finally calmed down from your laughing fit you stood up, gently putting the onesie on the baby before picking them up, holding them softly against your hip, your eyes meeting Scaras as you considered what to say next, "Scara..I know you said you didn't want children...that understandable, they are a lot to handle and after what happened to you it makes sense why you wouldn't want to be a parent, but...you're so good at being a father and seeing you with a baby...it's so perfect. It's like we have a perfect little family and...I...I want to keep it that way...but I don't want to force it on you..."

You swallowed harshly, trying not to get to anxious about the situation, it was a life changer...and you knew that, but after the couple weeks you'd been taking care of the little one...you couldn't help but think it was the right life change to make. Even Nahida had complimented you both on how well you had been doing...going so far as to say you two seemed happier.

"You're right, I didn't want anything to do with children...I thought of them as nothing but dirty, whiney little humans who couldn't even use a restroom on their own...., but....even though that's still partially true...I can't deny...I like the baby too. I like...us with a baby and I never thought I would say this..., but I think...we should keep them. Just don't expect me to change every poopy diaper." His blush deepened slightly as he shared his true feelings with you, the topics he had been thinking about for awhile now...

You giggled happily, holding the baby out for him to hold, watching as he tickled them before speaking, "I won't make you change every poopy diaper...but I am gonna make you learn how to put clothes on them." You snuggled into him lovingly as the two of you played with the newest addition to your family, the missing piece you never realized you both needed.

Xiao (Keeps):

You softly kissed the babies cheek, watching with a wide grin as their small fingers curiously reached out to touch Cloud Retainers beak. This was the first time you had introduced them to the animal Adepti and...the geo archon who was currently spectating from a few feet away. Xiao was standing next to him, his spear put away for once, he looked so proud as if showing the little one to everyone was the greatest achievement...other than when he had managed to get you as a partner.

"One cannot help but think you should keep the small human, after all they have been left to you and they are incredibly cute. Much like Shenhe and Ganyu when they were younger." Cloud retainer said, loud enough that Xiao and Zhongli could hear, the baby now softly touching her feathers...their face shifting from curiousity to excitement.

"It is true...they are quite adorable for a human child and you two have thus far done a wonderful job at taking care of them." Moon carver said, softly nuzzling his nose into the babies cheek, the small one giggling in response and hugging the big deers face. "What does thou say... conqueror of demons?"

Xiao walked over to the two of you, the rest of the Adepti taking a step back as the question still hung in the air. He leaned down, his eyes meeting yours as he spoke, "What do you choose? If we keep them, my promise remains the same, I will protect you both with my life." He reached his hand out, smiling slightly as the baby softly grabbed his finger and smiled up at him.

You looked around, everyone waiting on your answer as if it wouldn't be what they were all expecting, "Of course I want to keep them...I wanted to keep them the second I saw Xiao interact with them." You grinned widely as Xiaos smile grew, his lips touching your forehead gently, before he repeated the same action to the baby.

Cyno (Doesn't Keep):

Cyno bit his lip, watching silently as you sung a soft lullaby to the baby, doing your best to help them fall asleep after a long day of playing hide and seek. You couldn't help but smile at the little one, their eyes closed in a peaceful sleep and their mouth in a tiny grin as if they were dreaming sweet dreams.

The two of you quietly sneaking out of the room, leaving the door open so you could hear if they woke up in the middle of the night and turning off the light, leaving the nursery with the soft glow of the night light. Your heart felt so full, like for the first time ever even the difficult days felt perfect...and the good days...felt like each one was one to remember.

"I think...we should talk." Cynos words caught you off guard...or more accurately his tone...it was so serious, unlike any you had ever heard him use before. You suddenly felt nervous, like there was impending doom just seconds away from making itself known, "Oh...okay. I-is everything alright?" You silently cursed yourself for your shaky voice and slight stutter, as if you could control it.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Tomorrow the some of the mahamatra are going to come by and pick up the little one. They've found a home perfect for them, a place where they can grow and learn, have a nice family take care of them." He crossed his arms, looking away as he felt a overwhelming amount of guilt...by now he knew you had wanted to keep the baby and he...didn't.

Your heart felt like glass dropping onto the hard floor, breaking into a thousands of tiny pieces and scattering everywhere, to places you might never find again. "Oh...r-right. I'll make sure they are dressed and ready then...I'll um...I'll pack a bag of their baby s-stuff." He reached out to comfort you but you shifted away from his touch and using every bit of control you had to not cry...the baby would be going to a good home after all...it just wouldn't be your home.

✿Hope you have a good day!✿

[lorimnnn]

Mine Pt. 4

summary: before Michael was ever ‘The Shape’ of Haddonfield, he was just a boy. he was a boy in love with the girl across the road, his sister’s best friend--- the only girl to show him kindness, love and warmth. you.

Basically, Michael falls in love with his sister’s best friend at 6, who sometimes played emergency babysitter especially when Judith was fooling around with her bf. He clings to those memories growing up in the asylum until the day he breaks out, where he decides the first thing he wants to do is find you and keep you, your sunshine only for him. Reader is super girly and feminine, which just fuels michael’s possessiveness.

cw: gore, violence, kidnapping, obsession, manhandling, possessiveness, non-con themes, murder, not edited :((

welcome back:  puppiegutz666  clovers-anxiety  dragonlorpar  nightmare669  r0reep  novaeisnothere  fanlovedlt  idcalol

zoom1374  calmcoldevening  big-puppy-dawg-eyes   ily-jupit3r  vixllen  monterray  sadiedrew  simpforavillain bigcreatorwombatdreamer  slashershell  gremlinfuck  cherrydeathweb  stickygumchewer 

laylasbunbunny

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

~

You’re numb. 

Time slips past your fingers like sand, your breaths more laboured by the hour. Long after he leaves, long after the police finally infiltrate your graveyard of a home, you’re still rendered comatose by shock. No, by grief.

How has your life come to this?

Not that you’d had dreams, or anything. That had never really been your thing. Ambitions were beyond you. Of course, you thought what they were doing with the suffragettes was amazing. It was about time. Opportunities and basic human decency, the validity of a woman’s life as just a life--- it should have been a given. It shouldn’t have been questioned, and it should have never had to have been fought for in the first place. But as amazing as you thought there was, it would never alter your outlook on life.

What did you even want from your life?

It had always seemed to be a given that you were put on this earth to live. What that exactly entailed didn’t really matter to you. Your life, your choice. If you chose to bum out for the rest of your existence, why not? If you chose to forge a career, why not?

You chose to get a job that funded your fun. Forbidden romantic rendezvous with unsuspecting men who would later spend a good six months of their life worshipping you and the rest remembering what it was like. Parties and dates and whatever the fuck you wanted to do. Whoever the fuck you wanted to do. 

It angered you that suddenly, your life had shrunk into the size of a little, puny rock in an overgrown man’s fist. 

But that wasn’t even the worst part.

The worst part was...

“Miss L/N, please. Please co-operate if you can. I understand you’re in shock, but your statement is critical to furthering the investigation.”

You sighed.

You couldn’t escape the police anywhere. Not even in your hospital bed, chained up by IVs and barred across the stomach by your tray. Untouched jello and porridge. 

Gross. 

And you weren’t talking about the food.

The officer at your bedside clicked his pen again. Over and over and over again. 

“I’m not allowed to talk to men.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, officer.”

“Miss L/N.”

“Do you want to die?”

And you weren’t even joking. The words fell out of your mouth with some sort of airy humour, some sort of empty threat. But it wasn’t you that would do anything. No. Who knows--- he was probably watching right then. Waiting. Establishing his next victim.

You thought of the cute, rookie cop who had so diligently guarded your house. Who had watched you, red-faced and flustered and so, achingly hard as you changed behind an exposed window, that vivacious, scarlet lingerie set a teasing invitation he would never be able to accept. It was good fun. 

Could’ve been more, if your serial-killer stalker hadn’t cock-blocked you. 

Fucking Michael Myers and his baseless obsession. 

“Miss L/N, I can assure you that I can handle myself. I’m part of the FBI. And you’re currently under witness protection.”

“Sure I am.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t know. What about you check the news? I’m not sure shoving me in a random new town with a random new name will do you or me any good, officer. Respectfully, of course.” You rolled your eyes. “Actually, I changed my mind. Fuck off, unkindly.”

“Miss L/N.”

“What in the flying fuck do you want me to say? It’s exactly what it looks like.” You shrugged. “I used to babysit Michael Myers and for some reason, he came back for me. I don’t know why. If I knew, I would’ve called you first before any more people could die. Just chuck me behind bars at this rate. Probably safer in there than it is in here.”

Click click click. 

That fucking pen.

The officer rolled it between his forefinger and thumb, eyes moving over his notes, one ear tilted your way as you talked. His eyes blanked with thought. There was an unsettling amount of consideration he took regarding your words that possessed you with the urge to squirm--- he knew something you didn’t, he knew something he would never tell you. 

And judging by the way his gaze darted between you and his notes, up and down with equal scrutiny....

The more you talked, the deeper the hole you dug yourself.

You were only an object to him. Honestly, probably even the height of his career.

“How’d you know you wanted to be a cop?”

The Officer blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

He paused. Looked at you like he was trying to read you. But you had no answers for him. Answers that you’d probably want for yourself first, anyway. 

“I...”

You stared.

“I just did. I knew it. It was my purpose in life. It was my dream.”

“Boring.”

“Boring?” He raised one eyebrow. “Those are the words of someone who’s never had a dream to begin with. And looking at your file, I don’t think I’m wrong.”

“So what if I didn’t live my life by the books? Why should I be expected to know these things from the beginning?”

“There’s nothing wrong with not knowing, Miss L/N. It’s the not trying. Have you ever tried?”

Of course you tried.

In this stupid world, all you could ever do was try. 

Try live. Make sense of it all. Realise you never will. So then you try surviving. Can’t do that? You’re existing. 

And you were fine with existing. Sometimes those late night escapades made you feel like you were immortal. Eternal. Infinite. People lived, survived and died. You would exist and exist forever. 

“What are you trying to say, officer?”

“You tell me, Miss L/N. According to your file, you’ve always been a popular party girl. Living for cheap thrills. Nothing particularly beyond that.”

“And there’s something wrong with that?”

“You’re missing the point.”

“You fail to have one.” You lifted your chin. “Are we done here?”

The officer only smirked. He stood and looked you over, once again seeing something you didn’t, once again scaring you with how tempting it was to wrap the tube of your IV around this fucker’s neck and watch him die on these cold, linoleum floors. 

“Parties and sex aren’t the only way people get cheap thrills, Miss L/N. Your history of moral depravity and narcissistic justice are what conceived history’s most horrifying killer. Perhaps you’re more compatible than you think.”

He walked out. 

He walked out and like a gentleman, offered a smile as he closed the door.

What the fuck?

What the fuck? 

You screamed yourself hoarse at his shadow. 

___

Was it your fault?

Was it?

That was the thought that continually plagued you the moment the officer left and the second nightfall hit. You’d drawn your knees up to your chin, frail arms wrapped around your calves. He’d used such fancy words--- fancier words than you’d ever use to call someone a secret psychopath.

What a pretentious dick.

Moral depravity and narcissistic justice your ass. He probably rehearsed those words in front of mommy before he ever said them to you. Motherfucker. Little shit. For someone so ‘intelligent’, you could think of a hundred better ways to show it than to blame an innocent woman for someone else’s mental... Not even problems. Mental nothing. Whatever went on in Michael’s brain was beyond you. It was beyond everyone,

And obviously, beyond that fucking officer. 

Oh well.

He’d be dying in a few hours anyway. 

Hang on.

The fuck?

“Did I really just think that?” You paused, tilting your head towards the window. It was barred shut and you could hear the wind and rain whipping the smudged glass. You would do anything to nudge it open a bit. Get a breath of fresh air and remind yourself you’re still alive, that you’re not just another name in someone else’s narrative. That you had as much willpower as anybody did, and wouldn’t succumb to something as stupid as peer pressure. “Maybe he wasn’t making up about moral hunger or whatever.”

Because you had to be honest.

If you closed your eyes, as much as you pretended to hate it, you were comforted by Michael in your arms. Even with him threatening to gauge out your intestines, you’d reminsiced. You’d remembered how it had been, how easy it had been then--- when you were young and still had your heart intact and highschool wasn’t all about hunting you down for counselling and gossiping about whether or not you were the one who told Michael to do it.

To kill Judith.

About everyone knew that you were babysitting the little killer, that your friendship with Judith was balancing precariously on the precipice of completely falling apart. Judith couldn’t keep her mouth shut about anything. So why did you have to? Why did you have to be the better person just because it was the right thing to do?

There you go again.

You sighed. “What the fuck. I need to clear my head.”

But nobody would be letting you out. The closest thing you had to escape was the bathroom, and at that point, you were taking whatever you could get. And that was a shower. A long, hot shower, missing half your skin-care products and useless pampering tools, but it was a hot shower nonetheless and you were taking it.

Is he watching me now? 

The thought struck you without warning, and you froze in the midst of undressing. Suddenly, there was an underlying, taboo hint of sensuality in everything you did. Peeling off your shirt, your shoulders flexing, spine lengthening. Loose pants sinking lower on your hips. The fabric grazing the surface of your skin, the slow drag all too similar to someone’s heavy-handed carress.

Was this wrong?

Were you secretly a problematic nymphomaniac? 

Your breathing escaped you quicker, harsher. Your hands shook as you reached for your throat, remembering the roughened meat of his palm against your delicate flesh, holding you captive with impossible strength. He had bended you to subservience, just like that. Without trying. Without you properly fighting. 

And that’d pissed you off more than anything--- this little boy pretending to be a grown man, throwing you this way and that, using force to achieve the impulses of every habitual whim. 

But..

He’d sunk into you yesterday.

He’s softened. He’d become human again. He grew up. He’d pursued you for a scrap of affection he would never be able to relive--- it was stolen from him.

And here you were, sympathising with a killer. No. 

Sympathising with a man so starved of affection that he only knew how to threaten the one person who’d given it to him, hoping for it again.

It’d been tragic.

It’d been...

You wanted to sob. You were fucked, you were so fucked in the head. And as the water hit your skin, as your hand ventured south of your body, nipples erect and skin prickled over with goosebumps, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

You were hardly aware of the clanging outside. None of it mattered.

Nothing at all. 

Was it wrong, that you were remembering his hardness now?

That at the prime of the moment, you’d hated it. But now you remember it with a strange hope, with a whispering “what if”--- because, what if? 

What if Michael Myers was more than a monster? Or what if he was only a monster, cultivated by misunderstandings and chanceless assumptions?

He had been a live animal in your arms, yesterday.

A live animal. Alive. Real. Tangible. 

Less... Terrifying. 

Were you the only one who would ever see him like this?

And did that make you wrong, or the world wrong? 

You didn’t flinch when the door to your shower slid open behind you. It was like that scene out of psycho, where the killer attacked that poor woman without her ever suspecting, without the face ever showing, only his hand and the knife. Funny how it was almost metaphorical, now. Because nobody would ever believe if you if you told them there was a time in Michael’s life where all he wanted was someone to show that that they did see him, that the attention he so desperately begged for was within reach, that his sister might’ve not paid attention the way she was supposed to but at least her best friend did. 

You should probably be scared.

Petrified, even, so you feign it as you lift your gaze over your shoulder and see him, because you’re more scared of what it means if you aren’t.

And there he was.

Standing there, a void of nothing, yet still consuming you all the same.

That mask.

That fucking mask.

If you tore it off his face, would your sanity come back for you? Would his face finally deter you? 

Shakily, you reached outwards, fingers curling as they neared him, burned away by those demonic, soulless eyes. You got close enough to almost touch him before his hand came out of nowhere and caught your wrist, grip hard enough to bruise you purple. A weak cry started in your throat.

It never escaped. 

“Why?” you whisper.

And of course, he had no answer for you. Just staring. Only staring. Holding your wrist in a grip hard enough to break, naked body trembling even as the water began to scald your back. 

“Trying to get to second base so soon?” You try, and you can’t stop. Why are you joking with him? What part of this is a joke? “I didn’t think it was in you to skip first base, but then again. I’m not sure I know you at all.”

His grip softened.

“I’ll be taking that back,” you said, and surprisingly, he let you rip your arm away. It landed with a faint smack against your chest. “Guess I didn’t teach you well enough if you think pulling me around, driving me insane with fear is a good way to woo a woman, let alone your old babysitter.”

Your heart pounded in your chest as you turned away from him, entire body shaking so violently, all sense of strength abandons you within seconds. But you forced yourself to reach for the sponge. Forced yourself to soap your body like he wasn’t there, like this waws an everyday occurrence. 

And well, it sort of was. Minus the serial killer part.

Men have been in your shower before, right? 

He was just another.

He meant nothing to you, right?

Get it together, Y/n. 

“So who was it this time?” You could see his reflection against the wet tile. He stared listlessly back at you--- so nonchalant, yet so, distinctly intent. “The poor soul who had to suffer at your hands for existing, that is. I’m really hoping it wasn’t my nurse. She was actually pretty nice. Didn’t do shit. But none of them do, right?”

He stepped forward.

Your breath hitched in your throat. 

“I-I-” you cleared your throat. “I...”

Something touched your back. Something roughened, heavy-handed but deceivingly gentle, the water trickling down your spine washing the blood off the rest of his finger. It pooled at your feet, staining the drain. 

You’re paralysed.

You couldn’t stop it as that cursed finger trailed further south, tingles spiraling across your back in waves, zinging at every forewarning of more pressure. 

His hand. Your bare back. 

It was the worst kind of foreplay known to man.

Death?

Something worse?

Your eyes widened at the feel of his entire palm splayed out across the small of your back, pushing gently until your front touched the wall of the shower. There was so much power behind that simple push. So much deliberation, like he was teetering on the edge of killing you, just like that.

But he wouldn’t. 

No. 

That traitorous, earthy groan that escaped him said all. The way he pushed the rest of his body against you said more. 

And it also said something else. 

You were never getting out of this. 

Hardcore smut in next part!

And as usual, reblogs appreciated! Comment or follow to be up to date with the next one!

[eriexplosion]

MOVING FROM SOME EASY EPISODES TO THE HARDEST. OUTPOST.

Do y'all remember the hype for this episode like we knew it was THE Crosshair episode and everyone was absolutely thirsting for it.

"A new friend is made on a harsh and unforgiving outpost planet" WHO WROTE THIS SUMMARY?

Like yes technically accurate as it doesn't specify that the new friend survives the friendship.

Crosshair clearly paying much more attention to the regs these days, at this point I do think he's pretty much had all his bullshit beaten out of him when it comes to thinking he's better than anyone else. Just in time for Crosshair's Worse Time Parade to start.

Much like Hemlock, Lieutenant Nolan is established as absolute garbage the instant he sees Crosshair taking like two seconds to breathe out of his helmet and tells him he's out of uniform. If The Bad Batch can do one thing it's write a man that sucks.

AND THEN HE MAKES IT WORSE WITH "I DON'T LIKE USED EQUIPMENT"

Literally would kill this man myself and he's been on screen for 30 seconds

THE ICE VULTURE <3 OUR BOY'S NEW MOTIF <3

MAYDAY. MAYYYYYDAYYYYYY.

HE IS HERE!

God Mayday was complicated because like I loved him from the moment I saw him but also like, coming into this episode just logistically we knew anyone that showed Crosshair a hint of kindness was almost certainly going to get killed, so Mayday is loved for the exact thing that put him on the path to narrative doom. Reinforcements or no reinforcements, it doesn't matter, Mayday was never leaving Barton IV alive.

They waited 36 rotations. 4 days longer than Crosshair was left to nearly starve on a platform. If I remember correctly (I'm not there yet) Crosshair says the trip took 2 hours. None of their lives were worth two hours.

THE WAY MAYDAY HAS TWO, TWO MEN LEFT UNDER HIS COMMAND. ONLY TWO. HE HAD TO WATCH THE REST ALL DIE UNDER HIS WATCH. I AM SO FUCKING UNWELL ABOUT HIM.

I really love the name Hexx btw

"Respect is something to be earned." And immediately Nolan goes nuclear to insult him because he wasn't instantly given unconditional deference.

YEP IT WAS TWO HOURS. TWO HOURS OUT OF THE WAY.

I am going to scream from the layers of unfair this is.

The way Mayday's voice softens a touch when left alone with Crosshair though, always gentler with another clone.

I'm still not over the LONG pause after Mayday introduces himself, like Crosshair is trying to dig past the shields he put up between himself and his situation to remember his own name. He probably hasn't heard it at all since Cody.

Mayday looked at Crosshair and apparently felt the desperation for company rolling off him in smothering waves because he instantly is just like 'you're under my wing now'

That he's been out here over a year meaning that the Empire has been established for over a year is a lot to take in like god Crosshair has been away from home for so long.

"You'll freeze to death in that armor" He is like 10 seconds from wrapping Crosshair in a blanket I swear to god I'm only slightly projecting.

"Vicious creatures, but you have to admire 'em. They find a way to survive." GOD I LOVE THAT LINE. ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.

Using the explosion through heat vision to completely screw Crosshair's up for the shot was such a good excuse to have him just wound the guy instead of kill him, lol.

Still was surprised to see a blood trail in this cartoon, but sure they can't show us any sign of Tech's body right (YES I AM STILL ON THIS AND WILL BE UNTIL THEY SHOW US THE BOY)

Goddddd him putting Hexx and Veetch's helmets next to all of the others. His very last brothers, the men he was responsible for, god I am in tatters about it. Every second of this episode is just. Grief and Pain.

"Remind me not to die on your watch" Don't worry you're the only person that's been nice to him in months he will literally drag you through hell to save your life. Crosshair just has what we call "Something is wrong with him" disease and all of his words pass through the cortex that makes him rude before getting to you.

My thoughts on this mine disarming scene are Many but let it just be said that I still cannot believe they put this on my screen, it was made explicitly for me to be feral to.

Mayday has learned fast how to talk to Crosshair though, gotta give him some snark back.

"They're... gone." "And here we are. The survivors."

GOD I AM UNHINGED ABOUT THIS.

"If I don't hear a boom then I'll know it worked." "Glad you're confident in your work." "Oh I'm confident, I'm just not stupid."

I just love this back and forth dynamic that they hit perfectly and immediately.

Hey Crosshair actually wins a hand to hand fight all he has to do is sneak up on them and not give them the opportunity to actually hit him back.

Shout out to the guy whose first instinct was to try and RUN MAYDAY OVER WITH A CAR like it didn't work but impressive ingenuity.

Clones dying to guard the gear intended for their replacements god it makes me ILL.

"We're good soldiers. We followed orders. And for what?"

The entire thing is designed to drive a wedge into Crosshair's brain and break through the thick shield he's built around himself where he is so sure if he just follows orders Well Enough maybe he can make everything he's done and lost worth it in the end but he can't because he never had a future in the Empire and no amount of sunk cost fallacy will change that.

AND JUST IN TIME FOR HIS EPIPHANY WE GET THE AVALANCHE.

Literally would be so fascinating to see exactly what was running through Mayday's head when he chose to push Crosshair out of the way of the rock instead of jumping to safety himself. He just met this guy, he's not technically responsible for him, but Mayday has lost every single soldier he was in command of, sole survivor of his unit, and he finally, finally had the opportunity to save someone. If he only saves one person, maybe he's done something worthwhile.

And honestly, Crosshair is trying to do the same back to him. Just Mayday dies knowing he succeeded and Crosshair lives knowing he failed.

I am fucking destroyed by this episode by the way like it is so unbearably good and also tragic as hell.

Mayday trying to get Crosshair to leave him behind and the music when Crosshair decides absolutely the fuck not. That they have one helmet between them and Crosshair put it on Mayday's head and not his own.

THE MUSIC AS CROSSHAIR IS SO DETERMINED TO DRAG HIM BACK AND THE ICE VULTURE OVERHEAD MY GOD.

The moment of them huddling together in a tiny little hideaway in the rock ends me too, like, images that stick in my head forever.

And despite everything Crosshair made it he got Mayday back to the outpost alive, he did everything to accomplish the impossible and it should have been enough, but it wasn't all because Nolan doesn't value either of their lives enough to even lift a single finger for Mayday.

Like Crosshair accomplishing the impossible through sheer stubbornness only to have it pulled away at the last second I am in AGONY.

HE GAVE MAYDAY HIS SNIPER RIFLE TO USE AS A CRUTCH FOR GODS SAKE

Crosshair taking Mayday's helmet off and at least giving him one last moment of human connection before it's over

The voice acting in this moment is absolutely unbelievable but especially on 'Help him' like give DBB all the money in the world because I was shattered.

THE FACT THAT THEY MADE US LISTEN TO MAYDAY GURGLE COUGH OUT HIS LAST BREATH AND SEE THE INSTANT HIS EYES ROLL BACK AND CLOSE

"He served his purpose as a soldier of the Empire" OWN WORDS THROWN BACK INTO HIS FACE LIKE A FUCKING PUNCH

The way Crosshair's words drop back down into a growl as he says "You could have saved him." is so good too.

The music as it all reaches its boiling point, as he sees the vulture's shadow, then Mayday's body, then the vulture itself just. Oh god. This episode is a masterpiece and I'm still not over it. I don't think I'll ever be over it.

Like I still cannot BELIEVE we got this shot? The rock wings? I'm? Inconsolable?

Crosshair really probably thought he was going to die right there next to Mayday and honestly I think he was okay with it, in the worst way possible. Also him unconscious here is literally THE most relaxed I think we've ever seen his face.

But because this is only the start of Crosshair's Life Getting Much Much Worse he gets to live and wake up in a horrible science lab!

The sedative injection is much worse given the way that they torture him later.

"Cooperate and you might survive."

Literally one of the best episodes of anything I've ever seen I still cannot believe that we got it, truly. This episode is like 95% of the reason I have faith in the writers pulling through on the Tech Issue because I don't think anyone that gave Crosshair this episode arc would actually kill Tech off in such a stupid way on a completely pointless side quest.

I'm still on the rock wings and will be until further notice.

[bugflies00]

has anyone else gotten this problem where like. ive had my binder (spectrum) since spring last year and i never had any problems with it for months. i didnt have to size up because my dimensions were exactly one size in particular . i wear it every day but never more than 8-9 hours like is recommended (i put it on at the very last minute before leaving my house and take it off the moment i get home i cant do much better than that), i have a day a week where i dont wear it bc sports, and on weekends i often dont wear it at all apart from like a dinner outside . like just in general i only wear it to go out and not at home . so i'd say im pretty much following all the safety stuff ? but for the past month or so ive been getting rib pain . so i thought i just needed a break which was a good coincidence bc i had like 2-3 weeks at home where i wore it essentially like maybe once . and now im back in school except . it still hurts when i wear it for a while ? im so confused like i thought giving it a rest was what i needed and i thought 3 weeks would be ample time? and it's not like my ribs have . Expanded? i dont think ive gained any weight either so like . why would i need to move up a size. and its kind of a problem because a) getting a binder at all was a hassle without my parents knowing so getting a 2nd one owuld be . Complicated b) i really really hope i havent fucked up my ribs somehow bc idk how i'd explain that to my parents??

[my-castles-crumbling]

okay so hi..

um ive seen people do this so ig im going to as well.

basically i and my gf (she/her) have been in a relationship for nearly 6 months (6 in two weeks). we're both 19.

we met through my bsf and her bsf dating and now we are (i had the biggest crush on her but genuinely didnt think she'd give me a chance).

ive had pretty bad luck in relationships before and they never lasted more than 3 or 4 months mainly due to the fact that im asexual and btoh previous oartners just assumed they could change me (???) but she genuinely understood and went out of her way to make me comfortable and make it known that nothing will be demanded of me more than that which i can give.

from the beginning of the relationship, ive made some rules very clear which are like my no nonsense ones, like i wont tolerate them usually at all.

one of them being not making me purposefully uncomfortable and the main big one is not yelling/shouting, especially at me. (i have past trauma from my parents and it has in the oast made me shut down completely for days at a time, only getting up to feed my cat)

on one of our beginning dates i mentioned this really nice and sorta expensive restaurant that ive always wanted to try but reservations are really hard to get.

she joked saying that oh id love to go with hou ehicb i laughed at but was mildly excited about.

so i got the reservation for yesterday, i made the reservation for two.

last month i told my girlfriend that i have finally got the reservation and would like to go with her, told her the dates and time and everything and she seemed genuinely excited to go with me.

now last week i confirmed her availability again, and asked her what colored dress she was wearing so i could match it with my clothes and we decided on a color etc and also to get ready at my place because her bsf has their family over so shes will be staying with me for 2 weeks.

now, yesterday, after i was done with my work i went to the living room just to well see her and hug her cz i missed her a bit since i hadnt really seen her in about 5 hours (i was working). when i knocked at her door, she opened it and was ready with a dress (not the color we agreed on), her purse laying in the background as she greeted me with a big smile and kiss (on the cheek).

i asked her isnt she ready a bit early and she just looked at me confusedly and said no i hve to meet R (her friend) at 4:30 so im just on time.

i asked why and where she's going just to know if she'd be back and she said that theyre going to the mall and then to the movies because R is leaving in 3 days to go on vacation so they want to spend some time togetehr.

i smiled and wished her luck, i thiught that maybe i got the day wrong but i hadnt and i was actually really sad because all my life, everyone in my family would repeatedly just forget about my plans and my shit for others' and she knew abt that.

but anyways, so i decided to still go and i took this really lovely lady, who's homeless but i buy her a meal everyday and take her out to lunch once a week. (shes like in her 30s btw)

we had a lovely time and the food was divine, i even helped the lady get ready in a changing room.

but anyways on my way home i realised i had 3 missed calls from my girlfriend and a text that just said.

we need to talk as soon as you get home.

the moment j entered my apartment, she just started to yell at me about how much of a piece of shit i am, how people forget and its not a big deal, how im an arse, how not everything is supposed to be about me, and could i possibly imagine how she felt coming back to an empty apartment, she thought something had happened to me.

that is not the order she sais everything in but someway through my breathing started to get extraordinarily fast and i coukd feel my vision getting blurry.

i said sorry to her, or i think(?) i cant really remember stuff when i get panic attacks like this. i took my cat and went to my room.

it took quite a while for my cat to calm me down bur she was able to in the end.

this morning, i made breakfast for her and since i have today off from uni i decided to go to my job (i work part-time remote but can come and go to the iffice if i wish)

its my break rn and im thinking about it, maybe it wasnt a big deal? maybe i should have reminded her again but like idk it was a pretty big thing for me.

i feel bad, i feel like i made a mountain out if a molehill and shouldve just apologised properly and explained to her that its okay and that it wasnt that big of a deal.

i dont knwo?

i wanted some advice because i truly feel very strongly for her and shes the only relationship ive had in which i feel valued and had zero self doubt (up until yesterday)

im sorry it was so long, and thank you for your help.

Hi!!

Okay so...this is hard because, I don't know if either of you are to blame, here. Your girlfriend wasn't great for forgetting, but then I was wondering why you didn't say anything? But then she was shit for yelling later....

I'm wondering if this is the first time this has happened? It sounds like a lack of communication, you know? I think you guys really need to sit down and discuss how you were both feeling. But if this becomes a pattern, especially your girlfriend yelling, I would think more about the relationship.

Keep me updated! I'm naming you orange anon.

[annesstardustchords]

I'd Go Through it Again (If I Could Hold You For a Minute) - Part 1 / Simon “Ghost” Riley X Reader

hi babies! im so sorry ive been MIA lately, school is fucking me raw and I haven't been doing mentally well at all. that being said, yall deserve some good, angsty smut. luv u all <3 (smut will be in part 2)

(my mental slump may have slipped into this one a little bit...)

Description: Ghost had passed away; killed in action and DOA a couple months prior. You hadn't been handling it well. He was the love of your life, your rock, your muse; all of it. After one particularly bad day at work, you shuffle home in tears, but what you don't know is that there's a little surprise waiting inside for you...

CW: angst, fluff, sobbbbinnnnggg

TW: Mentions of death, suicide, self-harm (non-graphic)

READ WITH CAUTION!

MINORS DNI! I WILL TELL UR MOM!

Four months ago, you received the letter; he was gone - Fuck it, dead. No need to put it nicely.

The love of your life, torn from the warmth of this earth, from you, in a split second. A bullet the size of a pill had ripped through his chest, surpassing his heart and exiting through the thickened muscle of his back. How can something so small do such damage to someone as strong as him? How can something so small take a life? How could he be gone, just like that? How could he leave you?

Angry, intrusive questions swam around in your mind every second of every day; replaying the moment he was shot, the moment he took his last breath in your brain as if you were there. abut you weren’t. You could see it; his massive frame falling to the ground, suddenly appearing small as his eyes widened, and his breath stopped. It haunted you, knowing he was alone when it happened. Soap hadn't found him until hours after he'd passed. "DOA" the letter had read. Dead on fucking arrival. How long had he been there? You could've saved him, you think. You should've been there. But alas, you were deployed to another field, another team just days before. You couldn't protect him.

"Aye!" your superior calls out from behind you, "Head in the fuckin' game, soldier!"

You snap out of your thoughts, raising your gun to the practice target and firing without thinking. You were a great shot naturally, but not these days; your mind focused solely on Simon, your eyes fogged with his decrepit silhouette inside of his casket. It was open the day of the funeral; not your typical soldier send-off, but you had requested it. You hated what you saw when you looked inside that box. You had lifted the mask to ensure it really was him, and sure enough, it was. His scarred face, and tight-shut eyes. It haunts you everywhere you fucking go.

You hit the white plastic of the target, not even close to the drawn body of the thing. The Sergeant laughs from behind you and you toss your gun to the side, embarrassed and exhausted.

"Thank god this is just target practice, eh? You really did a number on 'em, probably killed em' with that fuckin' shot," he cackles as you walk past him and grab for the door handle, "Ay now, Soldier. Where do you think you're goin'?"

"Home, sir," you bluntly answered, too disappointed and spaced out to give a shit about your current ranking or the fucking novelty of the trade.

"You go home now, Soldier, and you're done," he barks, "You understand?"

"Yes, sir," you respond bluntly, swinging open the door and walking out with a huff.

You weren't one to disobey your orders. You weren't one to leave your post. You weren't one to quit. But, honest to god, if you had been put on the field the next day as planned, you would've thrown your un-armoured body against the first bullet shot.

Anything to see him again.

As you gathered your things from your locker and left the base, you could feel tears burning down your cheeks beneath your mask. You didn't sniffle, you didn't wipe them away. You didn't care. You just needed to be home. Being around this many guns, around a fucking armoury, couldn't be safe for you in this state. The morbid fascination you faced daily following Simon's death was nothing short of constant, but you were scared. What if he got into heaven, and you couldn't?

God, you just needed to go to bed.

You held your keys tight to your hand as you walked to the door of your apartment, the harsh metal breaking skin; not that you noticed, though. You turned the key and walked in, locking the door behind you and chucking your belongings onto the floor along with your shoes. You tore your mask from your face, and walked down the hall. As you made your way towards your bedroom, you noticed the familiar shine of your lamp seeping through the slightly ajar door.

Certain you hadn't left the light on yourself, much too weary of hydro costs, you quickly grabbed the gun from your safe. You hadn't even looked at the gun since that wretched day, untrusting in yourself and your thoughts, but with your job being what it was, you couldn't take any risks. You hold the gun tight to your side, slowly opening the door, and raising it to the dark figure sitting atop your bedsheets.

"Get the fuck out," you harshly whisper, "I don't have fucking time for this."

"Hi, darling," a familiar voice says as the figure turns his head.

Your heart nearly stops then. Your eyes meet the ghastly white of a skull mask, one you were all too accustomed to. You wrap your finger around the trigger, ready to end this sick joke immediately.

"I don't know who the fuck you are, or what the hell this is, but you need to go. Right fucking now," you bark, tightening your grip on the pistol.

"Y/N, please, put the gun down," the soft, British voice pleads.

"You're real fuckin' stupid if you think that's gonna happen."

You take a step inside the room, pressing the gun hard against his forehead as you take an unwavering breath.

"Make a move, and I swear to god, I will put a bullet in your brain," you mutter, "Who are you?"

"It's me, Y/N. I promise it's me," the man says, confident but composed, fully aware of the gun pressed between his eyebrows though seemingly unafraid of it.

"Is this some kind of sick joke? Hm? Putting a fucking widow through this?" you nearly yell as you press the barrel harder into his skull, causing him to wince, "You wanna beat me, interrogate me? Fucking fine, but this... this is sick. He's gone. I saw the body myself."

"Y/N, I-"

"Don't say my name," you snap, "Who fucking sent you, huh?"

"Love, please. Back up, let me take my mask off, yeah?" he asks, carefully lifting his hand to your wrist, tapping it gently in request.

"Don't fucking touch me. You're not him. God, when Price hears about this..." you dryly chuckle, trailing off when you notice a bump under one of his gloved fingers.

"Take your glove off," you demand, motioning your head towards it.

"Wha- I... Okay," he stammers, lifting both of his hands cautiously and removing both of the gloves. You grab his left hand, tugging off the band prominently placed on his ring finger. You raise it to your face, your other hand still firmly holding the gun to his head.

"Y/N L/N, in combat and in devotion," read the inside of the ring, matching the words circling the ring placed on your left hand in similarity.

"Where'd you get this?" you whispered, your once stern demeanour shifting into something much smaller; more pathetic.

"The pastor on our wedding day. Gaz got them made for us," he answers calmly.

You pull the gun off of him, raising your hands to your face and pressing your palms to your eyes as you turn around.

"What the fuck is going on?" you cry, hardly audible.

"Y/N, it's me. I'm so sorry," he whispers, shifting to stand.

"Sit the fuck down," you yell, "Take your mask off."

He nods, turning around to check the curtain is closed before gradually and carefully tucking two fingers under the hem of the mask, lifting it over his chin and nose.

You feel tears brim your lashes, slick to your under eyes as his mouth and nose come into view. It's like a b-roll as the mask is lifted higher and higher off his face; the scar on his right cheek, the dark war paint, his furrowed brows, his fluffy hair. He discards the mask, tossing it next to him and grabbing a makeup wipe from your bedside table to rid himself of the smeared paint around his blue eyes.

"See?" he says, a sad smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Your hands shake as they go to cover your mouth, holding in the deep wail threatening to pour from your lips as you sob. The man you loved so much, the man you fucking married, the man you buried just four months prior, was here; alive.

"Si," you whimper, throwing your full body weight onto him after placing the gun down, your thighs on either side of his hips as you wrap your arms so tight around his neck that he nearly chokes.

"Hi, Lovie," he whispers into your neck, wrapping his strong arms around you and pulling you close to him. You take in everything; his scent, the feel of him so close to you, his scruff against your jaw. All of the things you swore you'd never get to feel again, tucked between your limp arms.

"How could you fucking do this to me?" you croak, your throat raw as you slam your weakened fists against his vest-clad chest.

"I know, I know, darling," he says, pulling away just far enough that he could see your eyes, lifting your chin to look at him before holding your face between his strong hands, "I had no choice. Trust me, I wanted to come back to you the second it happened."

"Then why didn't you? Do you know what I've been through? Do you know what it's like to watch the love of your life get fucking buried?"

"No, I don't," he sighs, "but I do know what it's like being dead to you, literally and metaphorically, and that's nothing I ever wish to relive."

"So why'd you do it then? I can't fucking live without you, I tried to fucking kill myself just to see you again, Simon," you accidentally admit, tears falling off your face and down your neck.

"Oh, my love," he sighs, worry adamant in his gruff features as he gently caresses your hair, "I wish I could've called, sent a letter, fucking anything. I'm so, so sorry I put you through this."

"Tell me what happened, Si. Tell me there was a good reason you faked it all."

"Two of the opposing had intel on you. They must have seen you without your mask, or someone let something slip; I'm not sure. I got cornered by two of their men, and they gave me an ultimatum; Either I take the bullet, or they tell all divisions outside of 141 your identity. Knowing your past with OpFor, I couldn't let that happen - couldn't risk your safety. Soap shot both of them before I could say anything," he explains, never breaking eye contact.

"So, they're both dead. Why did you have to-"

"There's more," he says, taking your hands in his, "There was only one other opposition out there who knew about you, and I couldn't come out of hiding until I was sure he was dead, so I faked my death under Price's orders to give us more time and to keep you safe. As long as this guy knew I was alive, he wouldn't have let it rest until he ruined you. This guy was good - stealthy, and stayed hidden. I knew you were safe as long as I was out of the picture, and that's all that mattered to me."

"Oh my god," you whimper, the tears seeming to be endless, "Please tell me you caught him? I can't risk losing you again."

"He's gone, baby. We caught him. I wouldn't have come back if I knew it could put you in jeopardy," he softly smiles, wiping your tears away with his thumb once more as you slowly smile.

"Si-" you choke out, a look of realization crossing your soft features.

"Yeah, love?" he asks, concerned.

"I'm so sorry, I-" you sob, unable to get the words out, choking on your own tears.

"Baby, baby. Shh," he coos, trying to stop you from hyperventilating, "What on earth are you apologizing for?"

"I was so angry at you. I- I was so mean. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have blamed you," you mutter, letting your forehead fall against his.

"Oh, my love. It's okay. I can't even imagine what you've been through over the last four months. I don't know what I'd ever do if I lost you," he admits, grabbing at the nape of your neck gently as his eyes flutter shut.

"It was hell. I walked out of target practice today. I can't even aim anymore. I don't think Sergeant is gonna let me back," you confess.

"He'll let you back, baby. Price and Soap both know what happened, and we've all got your back, okay?" he says, gently rubbing along the back of your head.

“I don’t even care if he does, I’m just- I only care about you; about you being here,” you softly smile, wrapping your arms tighter around him as you sniffle.

“There’s that pretty smile,” he whispers, “I missed that face of yours so much.”

“You can’t even begin to understand how much I missed you,” you say, gently kissing his soft lips, “I thought I’d never get to do that again.”

“‘M not goin’ anywhere baby. Never again,” he murmurs, kissing you back, “I couldn’t bare knowing how much I’ve hurt you again.”

“I love you, Simon,” you whisper, the words rolling off your tongue like an oath, like a god damn prayer.

“I love you, too.”

You know it’s more than just words; it’s a promise. He’s yours.

[the-kipsabian]

so heres the gist of it

im unemployed

that should be the end of it lmao. unfortunately its not

on top of that, i live in one of the cheapest single bedroom apartments in the entire city. and yet according to new rulings that started this spring, im paying 12 euros too much for rent to be considered for the full amount of financial help that i should be able to get to help pay for it, which delays my paperwork every single time i apply for this benefit (thats high key crucial for my survival as, again, im unemployed as fuck) and they keep insisting i need to look for a cheaper apartment (which is impossible, there literally isnt any in this whole city and if there is, they are so sought after at this point people nab them immediately so...) or i might lose most of those benefits in the future. so thats fun

but i cant move cause i cant afford a more expensive place cause 1. im still unemployed as fuck and 2. they wouldnt approve of my paperwork cause even higher rent would be against their rules and the cost limit they are enforcing so...

ive been trying to get a job for a well over a year and a half now. nobody is hiring even tho a lot of people are looking. it always comes down to either being in a location i cant get to (cause its too far and i dont have a car or the hours are so inconsistent i cant make it without a car, usually) or just not being good enough with my skillset or whatever the fuck. it always goes to someone else and its been like that for months now so.. yeah, im kinda stuck with that too

HOWEVER the city has decided to add another fucking wrench into my entire situation since remember, im 1. unemployed as fuck, 2. i dont own a car, or even have a license for that matter, to move around everywhere, and 3. the government is actively trying to get me to move into a cheaper apartment that simply does not exist in this city ffs or they might cut my benefits or at least delay all my payments with taking ages with the added paperwork cause of that :)

so now? they have completely destroyed the bus schedules to my part of the city. nothing moves in or out of here past half six on the evening on weekdays anymore. even worse, on weekends nothing goes past two in the afternoon. which is.. ridiculous. that means that if you work evening shifts, tough shit youre not getting home unless you bike or walk (which isnt exactly a valid option with winter coming soon and lasting for like 75% of the year lmao), youre not getting to morning shifts if they start at 7am cause nothing moves from here before that, god speed if you work on the weekends cause youre really not moving from here or to here almost at all since the schedules were already horrendous and now theyve cut at least three or four drives from that sssssooooooooo

basically what this means is that it cuts my possibilities for jobs i can apply and accept a RIDICULOUS amount. any normal retail job would ask you to be able to work both morning, day and evening shifts; i literally cant do two of those anymore which ofc limits my chances dramatically as someone they would consider hiring. work on weekends? yeah i was already on the fence for it since my saturdays are usually hangout days but i was willing to make sacrifices but knowing i wouldnt be able to work past half two? yeah again, limits my chances so much on being hired

which means. im already struggling to get a job. now with this new schedule they are limiting me so much more on what i can go for and what i can be hired for so i can actually cover any shifts on anything ever. which in turn means im not gonna have that money i need to pay for a bigger apartment. which means im not gonna be able to move. which means im stuck with these schedules. which means im limited in what jobs i can apply and get even considered to be hired for. which means....

you see the issue? you know why im fucking upset and mad and angry and sad and i actually had a screaming crying fit last night cause i cant fucking handle this shit and how inconsidered this whole fucking thing is to literally everyone?? the people who changed the bus scheduling said its cause of the lack of customers (which isnt even true and they compared summer numbers to winter numbers which fucking LMAO ofc people use the busses less during the summer when they can bike or scoot about so much easier. and most of them are not even in town anyways for their vacations so) but also its important to note that i live in the part of town where theres a lot of families and old people and the lack of cars and kids moving around here from school to back is actually very big and yet. YET

im just.. sorry. i needed to get this out. cause its utterly ridiculous and im now stuck in this fucking cycle and i dont know what to do. im gonna send an application for any potential open apartments to the firm i rent from right now since they cover the entire city and have basically the cheapest places here so that maybe i can get something offered to me if anything frees within the next year or so. apart from that i have no idea what to do. i have no desire or money to get a license, let alone a whole ass fucking car, i get anxiety just thinking about driving. im just stuck here, in this goddamn loop that just somehow got worse as i discovered this whole bus scheduling issue last night. and i really dont know how to break it with how these things are all affecting each other

i left the city some feedback about this and got my friends to do it too since we are all fucking mad about this but.. unless they get a noticeable amount of it, i doubt they'll be doing anything about it, or at least not very fast so. im just stuck and im fucked and im upset and im angry and i needed to get this out im sorry if you read this whole thing im just. im going to fucking explode