#so its just kinda like all over the place in terms of where i am and what variations are out there

[happistar]

I love being in the middle of like 5 different sherlock adaptions because sometimes a case is new to me and sometimes I have Future Sight but Not Quite because I usually know how its done in one adaption but not the original story, so I have to make guesses at what parts are actually kept from the original in whatever adapted case I encounter. Or, I get to the original story and have 3 different versions of the story I've already seen so I get to guess what elements are true or Not.

[sp4ceboo]

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?: Feyd-Rautha x Reader

A/N: ty taylor swift i attempted to base this fic on your song but then i divulged as normal

tw: 18+, smut, p in v, inkpie, oral (both recieving), sub feyd by which i mean feyd is DOMMED, spit, degradation + praise, one spank kinda, swearing, lil bit of crying, mention of evil baron activities so sa + pedophilia, tiny mention of cheating but none actually happens, lmk if there's anything else bc lbr there probably is i just forgot it

wc: 3.9k

Feyd-Rautha has gravely underestimated you.

It is true that you are not strong in terms of Harkonnen definitions, but you expected a man destined to father the Kwisatz Haderach to be able to see past that. What was that the Bene Gesserit were saying about superior genetics? You don’t see even a glimpse of that in his frosty gaze when he regards you - he looks at you as if you’re a delicate vase that may shatter in the lightest of breezes. He thinks he needs to fear breaking you.

He misses how you miss nothing.

You are not Bene Gesserit; you are merely one of their pawns, a genetic machination produced from centuries of manipulations and deceptions, but you can read a man better than the majority of their number.

The seething jealousy in the clenching off Glossu Rabban’s fists is like a monster sinking its venom laced fangs into his heart: starkly evident to you - as evident as the barely repressed, parasitic fear of inadequacy that lurks like a second beast within the first. Just the same, the gazes the Baron sends your husband do not escape you. Nor does the caged, wild look that washes over him whenever you leave his uncle’s chambers: the look of a man who inside is still a boy, relief washing over him that he has left unscathed and untouched for another time.

Even more nuanced than that, you see the vulnerability within Feyd-Rautha. He craves to be loved, the way he should have been as a child, when instead he was desired; all this at an age where the most he should have been doing was playing with carved wooden toys at his parent’s feet.

He believes no one can see the last, soft sliver of his heart that he’s fought to preserve, that wants nothing but to have someone to be vulnerable with, just because he’s buried it so deep inside of him that sometimes even he doesn’t think it’s there any more.

But you see it.

You see beneath it too, to a place that he himself is not fully aware of. A place where he hates who he has become - a wild, savage creature, bleeding from wounds that do not seem to close up, slipping in its own blood when no one can see.

It’s from here, from this place, that the urge to preserve you somehow originates. He thinks you are a flower whose petals will easily be crushed in his heavy, calloused hands, and he is wrong; in a strange way it endears you to him, that he believes that he is too rough to hold you. You do not think it is quite love - not yet, at least, it is only the third month of your marriage - but when you see him fighting to not be the beast that he is before you in an effort to spare you, something that is not just pity stirs in your heart.

You can hear him now, pacing, cursing under his breath in the antechambers. Sometimes he sleeps there, on the narrow sofa, and you’ve come to realise it is those nights when he wants you most. Aside from your wedding night, he has made no other attempts to produce an heir, and you find his restraint valiant, but stupid.

He could try as hard as he liked; he would not get anywhere close to breaking you.

Rising from your seat on the small, ornate stool at the vanity, you push open the door to the antechamber and take a step into the room. Feyd pauses his pacing with his back to you, and you can see the tension in his shoulders and the rigid way he holds his body before he turns around to face you. His pupils are dilated, his eyes dark, and you watch him regard you with something too untethered to be restraint.

‘Am I keeping you awake, wife?’

You shake your head. ‘I had not retired yet.’

You know he expects you to explain why you’ve interrupted him, but you remain quiet - your silence is as much of a tool as your words. He doesn’t speak either, but his eyes tell you enough; they do not leave your frame, hungry, torrid, and his fingers twitch as if they ache to slip you out of the simple shift you wear to sleep and touch you everywhere, to explore the curves and dips of your body.

Tilting your head, you smirk. ‘If you wish to give me your heirs, husband, I would advise another method that differs from staring one into me.’

‘You don’t know what I want,’ he growls, but his face tells other tales.

Stepping forward, you reach out to him but he backs away. Still, the sheer thirst in his eyes sears away at you, even as his actions fight against it, his fingers closing on the doorknob. His hands are steady, his shoulders too, but the tightness in his muscles betrays him as always. Usually, you’d let him go now, but tonight you wish to see how far he will let you push him before he pushes back, so you snare his forearm in your fingers, tugging at him as he turns the knob.

He doesn’t look at you. ‘Don’t test me.’

You smile, cloyingly so. ‘Why not?’

Lightly, you trace your fingers down his chest, straightening the fabric of his black shirt while you gaze thoughtfully up at him through your lashes, lips curving upwards at the indecision in his eyes. He fights it, wrestles with the burning need, but in the end, he prevails, transforming it into a streak of anger that colours his voice as he tears himself from your grasp, recoiling as if your touch ignites pain within him - and maybe it is pain, that he wants you so but fears to indulge himself.

‘Get away from me.’

Feyd-Rautha does not give you a second to do so, because he is the one haring down the dimly lit corridor, his jaw tight, nails digging into his palms. Truthfully, you have never seen him move that fast, not even in the arena, and it almost makes you laugh - the great na-Baron fleeing from his wife and his own lecherous thoughts.

Maybe you did not win this round of tug of war, but he has asked something of you - to get away from him. Over the next few weeks, you follow this to the letter, avoiding him like the plague; you do not interrupt his pacing in the antechambers, nor do you haunt the bedroom like you normally do, asking him questions that he cannot answer. Feyd-Rautha is sensitive to change and you know he will seek the reason for it.

There is a barely cloaked intensity in his eyes when he finally corners you, and under it, you detect recognition: he sees that you are not who he thought you were, and he sees that you are not so different from him - always observing, always planning, and so, mind shatteringly hungry.

You were just dropping by the bed chambers to gather some of your clothes. The night before, you’d relocated yourself to one of the guest bedrooms - you could sense Feyd’s resolve cracking, and you knew that this would break it for certain: coming into his chambers to find them empty, wifeless, your side of the bed damningly cold. Jealousy is clear in his eyes as he backs you against the vanity, filling you with a rising sense of triumph.

‘What has caused this change in your behaviour, wife?’

You raise a brow, faking confusion. ‘What change? I would argue it is your behaviour that has changed, Feyd, you who can barely stand to be in a room alone with me.’

He snarls. ‘Who were you with last night?’

‘I thought you wanted me to get away from you,’ you reply, keeping up your pretence a little longer. ‘I slept in the guest quarters. You do not reciprocate any of my advances.’

‘Advances?’ He echoes, incredulous. ‘You taunt me, wife. It’s like you want me to break you.’

Cocking your head, you regard him coolly for a moment, letting some of the sharpness of your unmasked gaze leak through, letting him see the calculation in your eyes - you see the wariness it incites in him as he realises again that you are not who he thinks you are. Wordless, you lean in close to him, bringing your face to his, hovering there.

And then you let your arm drop and make a swipe for the knife at his belt.

Fast as a viper, he catches your wrist in your fingers, but you smile, challenge in your eyes as you bring his second blade to his neck. You’d slipped it out while he was distracted with your other hand, and he blinks at the cold press of it to his skin.

‘That’s the problem, isn’t it?’ You murmur. ‘You’re not scared of me, you’re scared of breaking me. Who’s afraid of little old me, huh? No one is, Feyd.’

‘They should be,’ he whispers, and when you meet his gaze, it sets you alight.

‘Indeed,’ you reply softly, letting your lower lip brush his.

As he kisses you, his hands seizing your face and locking you to him, you hook his knife’s blade in the collar of his shirt and drag it down, slicing the fabric until it flutters to the floor. Pulling away, you take him in - the moonlight planes of his sculpted chest, the broadness of his shoulders, his roiling, keen gaze. This man whets your appetite in the darkest kinds of ways: you cannot wait to ruin him.

Absently, you trace the outline of the tent in his pants with the tip of the knife blade. A breathy noise leaves him, and he freezes as if he can feel the cold kiss of the metal against his skin; you laugh, delighted that he is so mouldable in your hands.

‘Get on your knees,’ you command, seating yourself on the end of the bed.

It’s captivating, his lack of hesitation as he follows your orders. He sits back on his heels, looking up at you, and you can tell that he’s letting you see him like this, you can tell that if he didn’t want you to have him like this, you wouldn’t, but still, you reach out, gently skimming his shoulder with your fingertips.

‘All you have to do is say, and I will stop,’ you say.

He dips his chin. ‘I do not think I’ll have to.’

You smirk, something savage and powerful and thrillingly depraved rearing its head inside you, awakened by the sight of the na-Baron kneeling at your feet. That will be his last coherent sentence tonight.

Pausing, making him wait, you lean down a little, inspecting his features, the ardour in his eyes. He looks at you as if you hold the universe in your hands, as if you hung the stars in his sky, as if you are a  goddess, and he wants nothing but to worship you until he is expended.

You spit on him.

It lands on his cheek, and his eyes widen a fraction. A shudder wracks his body, and he simply stares up at you, breathing heavy, before slowly, his lips part, and he sticks out his tongue, his request evident. You grab his jaw, squeezing so that he opens up wider, and spit in his mouth - the low groan that leaves him as he swallows is fucking delectable.

His cock twitches in his pants when you pick up the knife. Tracing the blade over the shell of his ear, over his cheekbone and over his lips, you marvel at the way he holds still, awaiting what you’ll inflict on him next like a good little toy.

When the metal reaches his jaw, you nick the skin, drinking up his sharp intake of breath and the clench of his fists as the blood trickles down the column of his throat; you catch the droplet of crimson on your tongue, licking a careful stripe up his neck, grinning when you catch his lips in a kiss and he trembles at the taste of his own blood. Feyd is greedy, his tongue brushing against yours as he leans up into your touch, the way his mouth works against yours hot, fervent, pleading.

Planting a palm to his sternum, you push him back, chuckling when he strains to follow you, eyes glazed, lips swollen. You spot a streak of red and swipe your thumb over his lower lip, wiping it off before standing.

‘Get up, strip, and get on the bed,’ you bid him, pulling your own shift over your head.

Feyd scrambles to follow your orders, yanking his pants down, and you take your time to admire his muscle sheathed body; strength ripples beneath his skin, a sweet dichotomy to his weeping cock, rock hard and flushed rosy. He halts his movements, as if he’s pinned down by your appraising gaze.

‘For whom do you wait, husband?’

As he turns to get onto the bed, he’s a little too slow and you swat at his ass. A choked sound leaves him, and you laugh at the way his knees almost buckle. Feyd’s ears run red when he lies down on the mattress, and you straddle his thighs, sneering at the way he twists his fingers in the sheets, squirming beneath you.

‘Pathetic.’

You don’t give him time to respond, instead wrapping your fingers around his cock and pumping up and down fast, and he gasps at your rough touch, his back arching and his hands coming up to touch you - you wave them off you, meeting his eyes.

‘No touching,’ you intone, the hint of warning in your voice enough to render him obedient.

This time, you take his cock head in your mouth. He’s so fucking sensitive, reacting as if the sweep of your thumb down the underside of him and the slide of your tongue over him is mind shattering; it doesn’t take you long to get him teetering at the edge of his orgasm, just for you to pull away at the last moment.

His thigh jolts, weak pleas of your name leaving his lips, gripping the sheets so hard you wonder if they’ll rip. Again, you take him in your mouth, deeper, one hand dipping to play with his balls; you revel in the wretched sound that he makes when you hollow your cheeks around him, your teeth grazing up his length. You toy with him until you think he’s moments from breaking, until he’s writhing upon the sheets, face contorted in pleasure loaded with sweet, sweet agony.

‘Please let me come,’ he whimpers, voice cracking, the look in his eyes crazed, pitiful. ‘Please.’

You decide to give it to him, jerking him brutally fast until he comes; it hits him like a tidal wave - his eyes roll back in his skull, his body tensing, rigid and impossibly taut before he goes boneless, a broken cry of your name on his lips as he spills all over his stomach. A single, ecstatic tear slides down his cheek as his orgasm seizes him, snatching him up and shaking him like a ragdoll.

Lingering at his side, you wait until he’s come down from his high before getting up to retrieve a damp cloth from the bathroom, perching on the bed beside him and cleaning up his come, pressing kisses to the surprisingly soft skin of his hips. One wavering hand comes to rest in your hair, and you glance up at him, biting back a smug grin at the dazed look in his eyes.

‘Feeling okay?’

He nods.

‘Words,’ you chide.

‘Y - yes, na-Baroness. Better than okay.’

You raise a brow at that. You did not specify for him to call  you anything, so this is all his doing; he fidgets beneath your gaze, and you note that he’s growing hard again, his cock stiffening between his thighs.

‘Can I…’ He begins, but trails off, thinking better of it.

‘No, little na-Baron,’ you reply coyly. ‘Tell me what you desire.’

His eyes scorch you with their yearning. ‘I want to taste you, na-Baroness.’

You smile. ‘As you wish.’

You lean back against the pillows, letting your legs fall open for him. It’s somewhat comical, the way his eyes widen as he sees your slick cunt, and he swallows harshly - you can almost sense his mouth watering. Carefully, reverently, almost, he nudges your knees over his wide shoulders, bringing his face close to your pussy, admiring you. It’s as if he’s testing himself, waiting to see how long it takes for him to break and taste you.

Lurching forward, Feyd groans, low and deep and right against your clit when he laps at your heat, quickly becoming insatiable as his tongue moves masterfully at the apex of your legs, laving over your clit and curving in and out of you. Bolts of pleasure spear through your body, fierce like crackling lightning at the eye of a storm - he is everything to you in this moment. He shatters you, breaking you and mending you anew.

As he brings you closer, your body begins to shake and your legs close around his head; you suffocate him with your thighs, and you can tell he lives for it from the way he fervently grips your ass in his large hands, kneading the flesh and moaning into your pussy.

Something pulls tight within you, deliciously so, and you cry his name in warning, fingers curling around the base of his neck to hold him still as your hips buck, rutting into his face. Dimly, you can see him grinding into the mattress as you fuck yourself on his tongue - the chafe of his nose against your clit makes you shatter, and you fall apart for him with a ragged cry, nails digging into his shoulders.

You’re still coming down from it when Feyd begins to lap at you again, dutifully cleaning you up, and you twitch with the slight overstimulation, hooking a finger under his chin to see his eyes: his gaze is loaded with the heat of a thousand suns, and yet somehow it is also bleary, drunk. A laugh escapes you, and you tug at his hand, encouraging him to lie beside you.

‘Good boy,’ you hum as he nuzzles into your touch. You can feel him achingly hard against your thigh, and you let yourself catch your breath before reaching down and wrapping your fingers around his cock. ‘Want to fuck me now, hm?’

He nods avidly. ‘Yes, na-Baroness.’

All it takes is for you to half spread your legs before he’s climbing eagerly between them, hesitating before looking up at you for permission. You dip your chin, smirking, and then he’s sinking into you, burying himself inside you.

Voice cracking, Feyd chokes out your name, and he shudders, gasping at the velvet vice of your cunt as it clenches, bearing down on him. Sharply, you rock your hips up to meet his, and this time, a soft, keening whine leaves him, and he squeezes his eyes shut, biting down hard on his lower lip.

He can barely keep himself from spilling inside you.

‘You can barely hold it, can’t you, my little na-Baron?’

His words come out jumbled, his speech scrambled, mind ground to a standstill by the all consuming heat of your cunt; he babbles out protests, saying that he can, desperate to prove he can, stammering that he wants to make you feel good.

Cruelly, you buck your hips up against his again, and a pained sound looses from his chest, but he thrusts to meet you, hips lurching forward, his arms almost buckling either side of your head. Panting, he pulls out slowly before slamming back in, unable to stifle the whimper that tears from the back of his throat when you rake your nails down his shoulder blades, claiming him, littering his shoulders and neck with bites.

‘That’s it,’ you sigh as he finds his pace. ‘Just like that, good boy.’

A strangled noise tears itself from him at your praise, and he fucks into you, frantic, almost feral. Eventually, his thrusts begin to turn sloppy, and you kiss him in order to steal his breath and taste his fervid moans of your name on your tongue as he comes deep inside you.

Pressing a palm to his lower back, you pin him there, buried snugly within your pussy as you reach down with your other hand and rub your clit hard - it takes but a moment for you to come, and he writhes at the cataclysmic feel of your walls fluttering around him, overstimulating him, his mouth falling open in a silent cry as he comes again with your cunt milking his cock.

Completely spent, Feyd goes limp, and you rub your hand over his back, smoothing circles on his skin with your lips to his forehead. The post orgasm clarity begins to hit him, and you feel him go rigid - slowly, he pulls out, his seed leaking out now that he’s not filling you, and he attempts to get up, but his legs are too weak and he collapses beside you instead, his chest heaving, his eyes still a little hazy, still fucked out, even as he fights for lucidity.

There’s something on his face that cuts at your heart - a look of expectancy, as if he’s waiting for you to get up and leave now that you’ve had your fill of him. Concerned, you reach out, and he leans away from your touch.

‘Feyd,’ you murmur. ‘It was not too much, was it?’

‘N - no,’ he replies. ‘I just…’

Sitting up slowly, you look him right in the eyes. He stares back, bewildered, but you press a finger to his lips, foregoing your own fumbling words to instead recite the pledge of allegiance of a Harkonnen soldier to their general; his eyes widen - you know you have hit home. You’d exchanged wedding vows, of course, but these have a different meaning: you see it in the respectful way it is uttered, a soldier acknowledging his superior’s presence.

You pledge to him not only your heart, but your sword - your service - too.

‘Wife,’ Feyd bites out. ‘Surely you do not mean - ’

‘I mean it,’ you cut in. ‘Every word.’

Again, you reach for him, and this time he does not flinch away, letting you tuck him close to you, his breath coming out shaky. Gently, you tip up his chin, planting a chaste kiss on his parted lips, and he returns it slowly, wondrously, no teeth or tongue, just the gentle brush of his mouth against yours: the innocence of it is bittersweet - has anyone ever kissed him this tenderly?

Carefully, you withdraw, wanting to see him, but he does not let you meet his eyes, instead hiding his face in your neck, his lips at the hollow of your throat. You grant him the privacy of not being seen when you feel wetness on your skin, his hot tears tracking down and pooling in your collarbone - his hands ball at his sides, and you pry open his fingers and lace yours with his, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Tightly, you wrap your arms around him, holding him with a hand cupping the back of his head, cradling him to your chest.

Your voice is quiet in the still air, but it carries as if through an arena, a promise arcing through the air like a soaring arrow.

‘You no longer walk this world alone, Feyd-Rautha.’

best believe when i started writing this i did not anticipate the 2x 'good boy's 🧍

dune taglist: @callumsgirl @oh-you-mean-me @insufferablyunbearable

[imaredshirt]

I'm kinda really into the idea of Fiddleford meeting Stanley before meeting Stanford.

Pretty early on after being chased out of New Jersey, Stanley ends up being chased out of Kentucky and drives the night through Tennessee until his car breaks down somewhere west of Murfreesboro. He gets the car towed to a nearby garage, where a young mechanic takes one look under the hood and says he'll have it ready in a jiffy. All Stan will have to do is pay a few bucks inside, and he can be back on the road in no time.

Sounds great to Stan, except - well, he's broke. He can't pay the guy. He knows this, but the guy doesn't know this, so Stan spends the next few minutes trying to talk up one of the old-ish Stan-vac Vacuums he's got stashed away in his trunk, hoping to give it to the guy in lieu of cash.

Turns out the mechanic is a chatty guy himself, and Stan learns a few things about him: his name's Fiddleford (Stan calls him Fidds right off the bat, and for some funny reason the guy's over the moon about it) he likes building little gadgets and the like in his off time, and he's working at his uncle's garage for a few months to earn some spending money before he heads off to some back-up college in California.

Next thing you know, Stan's got the trunk popped open and Fidds is examining the vacuum, humming and hawing and narrowing his eyes at the shoddy design. The car's fixed up and ready to go at this point, but Fidds is taking the vacuum over to a workbench where he's got a set of tools nearby, and Stan's following him, trying to explain that the vacuum isn't bad exactly, it's just --

"So, the thing doesn't actually suck stuff up," Stan says as Fidds deftly pulls the machinery apart. "I mean, it'll pick up some dust bunnies for a few minutes before giving up, but then it kinda - uh, spits them back out."

"Well," Fidds says, squinting one eye to look into the dust bag. "Aside from the clogged exhaust port on this one, I reckon you just needa fix that shoddy wiring to the motor and adjust the coolin fan. That'll take care of both problems."

"Shoddy wiring?" Stan groans. It wasn't like he was the one who had made the thing. He was only slapping his name over the handle and selling it. "What am I supposed to do about that?"

"It's an easy enough fix ," Fidds says. He rubs his chin and plucks the motor up, looking at it thoughtfully as he twists it to and fro and then adds, "If you want it to perform its most basic functions, that is. But I bet if I tinkered with it enough, I could make it even better."

Suddenly, he's got this almost manic gleam in his eyes, and Stan would be worried if the guy hadn't already piqued his interest. "Yeah? Better how?"

Fidds glances around the corner at his uncle, who's snoring away in a plastic lawn chair, then looks back to Stan. "Better as in it could pick up a dust bunny hiding under a bed on the third floor from the kitchen." 

Stan's feeling a little manic himself. “Pal, as far as I’m concerned, you’ve just made this thing marketable to every single sucker from here all the way back to Jersey.”

Fidds doesn’t have the right tools there in the garage, so he says he’ll have the thing ready in two days. Which is fine with Stan, he doesn’t have anywhere to be anyway, so he asks if there are any secluded places where he can park his car for the night - which prompts Fidds to cheerfully offer up a spare bedroom back at his family’s farm. It catches Stan off guard, until Fidds explains the terms - he just needs to do some chores around the farm from sunrise to sunset, and that’ll take care of the room and the car repair, no problem.

So that’s how Stan finds himself in this little room somewhere out in the hills, sitting in a cushiony bed, suitcase at his side and car parked out under some sycamore and hickory trees. Fidds is at the door telling him what time dinner’s at and what time everyone gets up the next day to start with all the chores, and Stan is nodding, suddenly feeling like he could fall asleep where he’s sitting, even with the mechanic’s rapid-fire twang going on and on, which he doesn’t mind - the guy’s voice is nice. The bed is comfortable. The room is warm and dry and it’s about a thousand times better than sleeping in his car for two nights.

He kicks off his boots and he’s still nodding when he falls back, drowsy and relaxed, and falls asleep to Fidds’s voice explaining how the room’s available for a few weeks, as long as Stan’s up to working on a farm.

Stan wakes a few hours later to a plate of dinner sitting on the bedside table and some banjo tunes being plucked out somewhere outside. He looks out the window and sees Fidds sitting under a tree, sticking his tongue out as he adjusts the strings on his banjo before looking up and waving cheerfully at Stan. Stan waves back.

He wouldn’t mind staying here for longer than a couple nights, he guesses. Working on a farm wouldn’t be too bad.

(Throughout the weeks, they learn things about each other - like how Fidds’s family wants him to marry a nice girl, have a few kids, inherit the farm, forget about computers and physics and college - and how Stan’s dad kicked him out for ruining his brother’s future, and how his brother hasn’t talked to him in months and probably won’t for years)

(and once the vacuum is done, they try selling it together, and it goes well - until the vacuums are so strong that one dummy gets their arm sucked up into it right up to their shoulder, and someone says they lose a hamster to one - not that the dummy or the hamster suffer anything worse than minor injuries, but an angry mob chases Stan and Fidds right out of Tennessee and through Arkansas and all the way to Texas, where they find themselves feeling kind of despondent in some seedy little motel, and then Stan turns to Fidds and asks “Hey, you know anything about making the adhesive on the backs of bandages better? Or maybe just less painful?” and Fidds’s eyebrows shoot up and the manic gleam is back, and needless to say, they spend the rest of autumn being chased from one city to the next.)

[waitmyturtles]

Hey,

I'm not 100% sure how this works. Also this is more of an opinion than a question. I just feel the need to brain dump. You are under no obligation to reply. 😁

I fear that First and Khaotung are being wasted at/by GMMTV. They're both stellar actors and seem to have the sensibilities to tackle more serious material.

I feel like coming off Not Me, the themes in The Eclipse kinda went over my head. My fear was and still is that I didn't understand all the nuances. And that's why I felt like the show was lacking. Also I think the very first preview set it up as an entirely different show (more supernaturalmystery/thriller) in my head, so there was a disconnect there as well.

Their next project was Moonlight Chicken where both of them shined as actors but negligibly as a BL pairing. Having said that, they seem to be on very solid ground in the BL fandom - I am referring to their fan meets.

Only Friends was a masterclass of acting as far as FirstKhaotung were concerned (i was all about Ray and Sand), but I think the overall reputation as show that fell flat on its face overshadowed or at least took away (for me) from the gravity of FK.

And now we're here. With The Heart Killers and I am very wary of how Ota all going down. I see that the final trailer got over million views and I'm happy for them, but based on I think the absolute travesty that was OF, my expectations for this show are on the ground.

I really want more of an insight into how projects are picked up and distributed inside GMMTV (if you ha e any, I'm dying to know). I feel like they would benefit greatly from being on a show like PS I Hate You or something like Peaceful Property.

It feels like they're backsliding in terms of material given. Which I am sure is a) not their fault and b) me possibly being weird and dramatic in the wee hours of the morning. But I wanted to get it off my chest and I was reading your previous reviews when I felt, and then gave into the impulse to write to you.

Also I'm a MaxTul girly too and somehow, you made me want to give Make it Right another chance.

Have a great week ahead and keep up the absolutely exceptional work! ❤️

NIHILISTIC! It's great to hear from you! And thank you for the compliments!

TW for girlies out there who are not Nihilistic: this post will contain criticisms of The Heart Killers trailer. Read at your peril, delicate hearts!

I'll go backwards to save the biggest stuff for last. If you write anything about Make It Right, please tag me! @bengiyo and I always give a little DJ air horn to each other when we've nabbed another one into the broader cultural reconsideration of this AMAZING show. MaxTul, man. Nobody beats them! (Okay, almost, Tul admits he wasn't the strongest actor, but. We'll let it slide, dahling!) Chemistry, humor, pride representation, everything, they're great. I yelped when I saw them in Triage!

Okay, so you are a FirstKhao girlie, and you're worried about what The Heart Killers bodes. (Out of transparency, I have The Heart Killers tag filtered because of Only Friends PTSD. I'm gonna filter my own post!) For you, Nihilistic, I just watched the trailer for it.

I will get to all your questions about the GMMTV model in a moment.

Now, out of even MORE transparency, I am watching the MESS that is Kidnap right now, and listen, it's NOT GOOD. I'm fucking not even writing about it anymore, I'm just reblogging the sessy gifs. I am watching it to support Ohm Pawat, and am hoping that this partnership with Leng Thanaphon will hopefully lead to better scripts.... somewhere. (Or at least, better scripts for Ohm at a place like One31 or Channel 3. I also hope Ohm keeps up his anti-branded pair stance, but if GMMTV forces him to pair permanently with Leng, it won't be a fucking surprise, and more on that below.)

To focus specifically on THK for a sec: the THK trailer evoked a lot of what's gone utterly wrong in Kidnap for me. I think writing Thai BL/Series Y scripts to be different, fresh, and innovative, is just going to be really fucking hard, especially for stories featuring branded pairs that MUST end up together in the end. Because we, the viewers, KNOW that they MUST end up together in the end, what kind of mystery and conflict can a script convincingly evoke to keep us, the viewers, engaged and interested in the drama?

A few of us Ohm girlies were excited that Kidnap could have had non-romantic plot points (CRIME!!!) to drive concurrently with a romance plot. There are Series Y that have done this BEAUTIFULLY, particularly Sammon's stories of Manner of Death and Triage.

I'm sorry to say that I didn't get that from the THK trailer, and that THK smells a lot like Kidnap to me. The trailer itself is giving an indication that the "jobs" these guys have as double agents are going to be compromised due to them falling in love. And after the debacle that was Jojo Tichakorn's Only Friends -- a show premised on the exploration of mean, icky, really horny humans, a great place to start an interesting show! -- knowing that THK will HAVE to end up in a romantic place, with FK and JoongDunk being in memorable and memeable entwinements... that's a lot to ask of a show that already isn't making sense by drive, emotion, and tone in its trailer alone. What matters more to these characters? Their work, or their need to be in monogamous relationships? Seems like the latter to me by way of the trailer, which makes me wonder what the point of the plot is. (Joong's chest, probably.) (Gahddayum.)

(I haven't watched the latest episode of Jack & Joker, btw, but I understand that THIS WEEK's episode is ALSO going through something similar, with dead-end and uncommitted plot points all to get to a kiss. Oy.)

To summarize these points and to touch at your question about how GMMTV chooses scripts: GMMTV has an economic model to sell in giving happy endings to their branded pairs, which I wrote about at length in my Old GMMTV Challenge rewatch of The Eclipse. No matter where a script goes, the ending must be memorable and monogamous to satisfy the retweeting hunger of the branded pairs' fandoms, in order for GMMTV's artists to increase online engagement and to maintain earned media values to sell products.

The wonderful @flowerbeasblog noted to me recently that Tha Sataporn, the CEO of GMMTV, said in an interview that as the productions of Series Y in Thailand continues to increase, there is a greater need for more scriptwriting talent across this niche genre, creating competition for more excellent writing. (By comparison, in the States, when streaming services like Netflix and Hulu starting commissioning more original series just about a decade ago, the demand for scriptwriters and excellent writing also went up by incredible scale -- only to come crashing down recently with pandemic and strike-related losses in revenue.) GMMTV's recently announced script competition, Y Find, updated itself last week with a notice that the company would need more time to sift through scripts to judge. In other words: the demand for creative plots is so high at this company that they are literally fielding entries from the general public.

At the same time, Tha Sataporn has been blunt in indicating that "good shows" are not the priority of his GMMTV, and that talent, management, and engagement are his indicators of success. So, economically -- as long as a show hits that happy ending, and gets the girlies excited online with commentary and purchasing power, then the studio has won, in GMMTV's eyes.

ULTIMATELY, Nihilistic: what we are dealing with regarding your concern, as fans and/or critics of Series Y shows, is a conflict of values, among critical fans like ourselves, other fans who only watch shows for romance and shipping, and the economic bottom lines of the studios/agencies themselves. Some of us just want narratively good scripts, like Bad Buddy or He's Coming To Me. Others are content with having a show end with their fave pairs confirmed together in the end, no matter the process of how they got there. Those are different values we hold in watching shows. I appreciate that while you're a fan of the FK branded pair, that you want stronger scripts for them. I do, too, but that's not a value that every fan -- and GMMTV itself -- holds. And I believe that's why we've been seeing more and more mediocre scripts from that studio in particular.

I actually want to note maybe something positive about FirstKhao. Other than The Eclipse, it seems like they haven't been locked into high school or university settings. Only Friends, Moonlight Chicken -- these are shows that show First's and Khao's characters as young adults, and THK is going there, too. I hope they can avoid the university settings as they continue to work.

Is stellar acting wasted at GMMTV? Oh, yes. Besides First and Khao, who I truly think are good actors, we have Gun Atthaphan, Nanon Korapat, and Ohm Pawat -- these three guys are on my list of the best Thai actors out there who have done BL, and they haven't had great scripts in years. (Gun, arguably, has had the best pickings of decent shows recently in Cooking Crush and The Trainee, but they weren't high art; and Nanon's Dirty Laundry was the last Jojo script I was truly impressed by.) All three of these guys were in MOVIES at one point. Those ambitions, on behalf of these actors by GMMTV, seem to have gone by the wayside in preference for a huge economic push to boost branded pair-based series insteads, with their plot holes and guaranteed romances.

I hope the genre's tide turns for the sake of quality scripts, especially at GMMTV, but my hopes are low for this agency at the moment. My joy in Thai shows recently has been in watching past shows for my OGMMTVC. I've been on a lakorn kick lately, having watched The Miracle of Teddy Bear and I'm looking forward to watching Khun Chai soon. Other agencies and studios, like One31 and Channel 3, are breathing down GMMTV's neck and producing more interesting shows, sometimes with branded pairs and sometimes not. Triage only came out two years ago, and that show's trilogy (along with Manner of Death) will end with this year's airing of Spare Me Your Mercy, starring the very likely one-time pair of Tor Thanabob and JJ (Jaylerr) Krissanapoom, two gigantic artists in Thailand who are circling BACK towards the much smaller genre of Series Y for SMYM's sake. I have VERY high hopes and expectations for that show -- and that show is well out of the purview of GMMTV.

I think what you're smelling about the THK trailer is right, Nihilistic -- to me, the trailer isn't cohesive, and jumps already to its forgone conclusion of a romantic end. Unfortunately, for those of us familiar with Jojo Tichakorn's work, we know that if he was given more leeway, he'd likely come up with something more interesting. But now that he has to work with branded pairs -- who are shipped in the eyes of their fan beholders -- he's got a lot less room to be creative and interesting, which ultimately stifles the otherwise excellent acting we'd see from these young men.

[fandomobbsessedb]

Alastor x F!Overlord!Reader

AN: this is the result of the first poll I posted, Alastor won so here we are!

I’ve kinda broken this into two bits in this one shot, there’s a warning farther down if you want to keep within the ideas of “headcannon” but farther below I have the start of a story, I got a bit carried away and am too far gone to delete it.

⚠️Warnings: mentions of blood, death, weapons, smoking, maybe 1 instance of cannibalism ( but its more in the sense of revenge rather than a canabalistic reader) (idk man it’s hell if your triggered don’t read 😭) this is really long already so I might just break it up or continue it to make a part 2. I have a LOOOOOOT of references in here to so many things, if you guys can pick up on them leave a comment and I’ll tag list you in my next fic if you want! Or don’t I honestly couldn’t care less it’s just for fun :p

Reader is referred to with afab terms.

Pt2-

================================

• In your life you tried to stay on “the right” path. Your parents raised you right, you tried your hardest to be nice, and where always on your best behavior, but after getting the short end of the stick for too long you kinda… loose it.

• You ended up in hell after a night out partying with some of your most valued clients, when you went to drive yourself home the heel of your stiletto got stuck under the gas pedal, as you tried to pull it out you took your eyes off the road and 💥 BAM 💥 you where hit by a large grocer truck.

•Opening your eyes to a red wasteland, the bright flash of lights and the smell of brimstone flood your senses. Looking down to try and gather your bearings you notice your whole body wasn’t (skn/tn) anymore… it was marble grey?

“Where… where am I?” I mumbled under my breath, trying to gather my surroundings, a bright flashing catches my eyes, a gigantic neon sign in the sky gives me my anwser…

“Welcome to Hell!!!”

“Hell…. I’M DEAD?!!!!” I groaned out through barred teeth and stood to my feet, looking around I saw definite signs, this was Hell alright. A blood red sky, fires everywhere, little sinners running around stabbing and shooting one another.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, ALL MY WORK, MY SHOPPING EMPIRE, MY CLOSET, MY AWARDS, MY EVERYTHING, RAAAAAAHHH!!!” In my anger I grabbed the nearest sinner and threw them to the ground, putting my foot between their shoulder blades and grabbing their arms.

“You’re gonna tell me right now, what the hell is going on, WHY AM I DEAD AND HERE-” I shouted in their ear, seeing blood come out… oh shit I probably burst their ear drum… oh well, I’ve done that plenty of times to my assistants.

“D-d-do you mean, like in hell, or or just this area?” They questioned nervously. To be fair they were a scrawny little thing…

“What in the-“ I paused to look around, then referred back to this little shit “actually HELL are you talking about?”

“W-w-well, you must, *gulp* you must be new here, huh?” It asked with a weary smile and a weak little laugh, probably trying to ease the tension. “Well, down… down here, we uh, we have overlords who- who rule certain areas, we’re in Ms.Leefolt’s t-t-t-territory right now, I mean, our king Lucifer, Lucifer and Lilith Morningstar rule all of hell…”

“Well, that certainly is… intresting.” I smirk and stand up, releasing his arms but not letting my foot off his back. “So these, overlords… are they appointed by your king, or born into or something?” I question with a sharp red nail in between my teeth, thinking…

“No, no ma’am just, just anyone who’s ballsy enough to, to, take over enough territory and have enough demons- sell them their souls in exchange for something. Umm- if it’s not too much of a bother, could you let me go… I- I can feel my ribs crushing under me…” it started wheezing out and trying to get a hand under its chest to place a barrier between their chest and the ground.

“Hm, well if that’s all true, I can’t let some little thing like you going around gossiping about me.” I growled looking down at this freak… pressing my heel into his spine harder.

“No! No please, I won’t say a thing I promise!! Just let me go, please… pleas-“

SPLAT-

“Whoops, my bad, I slipped.” I reasoned, pulling my now bloody leg out of his torso.

“Ohh, eeeeeew eweweweweweweeew, I’ve got bits of his, ugh, lung on my heels.” Flicking away the bits of organ from my shoes, I take a breath and another look around but this time in a planning sense. Overlords huh, well, I’ll just have to see how much this ‘miss leefolt’ likes the taste of arsenic, I wonder when the last time she had a homemade pie was….

• So of course to establish some dominance in my new living arrangement, I gutted that bitch from the inside out. I took her territory, her power, her souls, even her manor. When I went to her office to kill her I found the deed to her house and all the contracts of sinners who gave her their souls in a pretty shittily hidden safe.

• I mean, I had to work so hard to build my life up just for a stupid grocer to end it all, so this is fine… right?

• The years go by and the world changes, you became one of the most powerful and influential overlords in hell, re-establishing your power once held on earth to a business in hell. Rosie and Velvet quickly becoming your closest friends, Velvet in a more business sense and Rosie being your go to gossip gal. Both of you having elegant and refined tastes. You and Husk became friends over talking shit in a casino one night, and remained friends after his downfall. He talks to you about this, radio demon, from time to time but you haven’t heard much of him

Little do you know he knows almost everything about you~

• Your walking around Cannibal Town one day waiting for Rosie to finish a meeting, watching children run around and little carts selling all kinds of body related snacks.

I lost a bit of my sense of surrounding and almost tripped on a kid running around with his friend throwing a head back and fourth.

"Jerermy! Stop playing with your lunch and apologize to that nice lady you almost ran into."

"Sorry miss, I didn't mean too." He said looking down at the head ashamedly, then offering me a piece of the cheek. "Would you like some of this face? It's really good." He looked up at me with an excited look. "Oh thank you, but I'm waiting for lunch with my friend, I'll go to the butcher and get some though, it looks really good." I smiled my pointy teeth at him, patted his head and motioned him back to his mother, she waved to me and I nodded my head back, thinking it was time for Rosie to be done by now.

"My my, with your reputation of anger issues I would assume you would tear that poor child into bits upon realization." A staticky voice spoke behind me, tilting my head back but not my body as I don't know who it is. I look him up and down, his outfit and cane/staff thingy give off quite the powerful impression. "My, mhm, reputation?" I pester raising my eyebrow.

"Ah-hahahaha, My name's Alastor, its quite a pleasure to finally meet you in person." He introduced reaching for the back of my hand to place a kiss. Him saying his name reminded me, I too finally recognized the name. "Oh, Rosie has told me much about you." The radio demon, his names been brought up many times around cannibal town since he frequented their shops and small town locals.

"Oh yes, Rosie is one of my dearest friends" He replied linking our elbows and started walking towards the shop. "Mine as well, she is quite the darling, so let me ask you now, where you just standing there when I got to the park, or where you going to follow me in silence since I left the emporium~" He didn't stutter in his step but my revelation made the air feel a bit more, weary on his side. Reaching into my hand purse I grabbed my lipstick and hand mirror and paused my walk to apply a touch more. Looking just past my lips in the reflection I saw his eyes in the back corner snap to my down, then back up to my eyes with a tight smile. "Well, are you coming? I know Rosie hates to be kept waiting." I snapped it shut and outreached my elbow waiting for him to link his so that we could start the traverse back to Rosie's.

• After our little group luncheon with Rosie, Alastor and you didn't verbally indicate that you were closer in any sense. But physically you swayed like two tree's. Brushing branches back and fourth with the breeze, restless and apart yet labeled as "together"

• You started doing weekly business deals, him acquiring land and souls for you, and all he asked in returns is he uses that land and those souls as he pleases. Which honestly isn't a lot. When he pulls people or their shadows to come help at the hotel- their mostly your people but he always sends them back to whence they came.

• He likes to pretend he doesn't necessarily care for being around you, however he's always looking for time you two can be together, or even thinking of each other. On his radio show he'll mention new shopping, eating, entertainment locations on your turf. He knows you listen when your able to. Sometimes he uses his power to let his station be the only one playing where ever you are. In the car, in a shopping store, you could be sitting in the bathroom and it would get to the point where you can hear it from the vents. Making you roll your eyes and finish your business so you could get to your office to listen to the radio.

• Truth be told... you where falling to his whims as well. Alastor didn't necessarily have "territory" but many places in one area he had influence in and quite often frequented. When you had rips or damage to your very expensive very delicacy clothing you would walk with him to the seamstress, and afterwards you would often get tea or lunch together. Maybe he knows a good diner or two and ya’ll will sit there and eat, then get a milkshake (mostly bc you wanted one, he just indulges to make you happy though he doesn’t care for the cold sweet taste) and drink it through two straws, awwwwwwwwwwwwe!!

• When either of you knew of prestigious events happening around you invite the other to be your plus one. You go shop together to find outfits for the occasion. You started attending overlord meetings together, with yourself sat on the opposite side of Rosie, sending each other glances and touches under the table whenever Rosie wasn't looking or walked away for a brief moment. At the events you stay close together and often stand away from the crowd, whispering and gossiping together, allowing yourself a to drink silly, little do you know how well he can hold his liquor and often will be the one making sure YOU get home. Sometimes you wake up still dressed, like the gentleman he is, and sometimes you’ll wake up in some red pajama set…. Like the gentleman he is, he’s not gonna let you sleep in an uncomfortable outfit. But he’s respectful about it.

• He often send subliminal messages through your radio to help you fall asleep, to push you to coming to see him, to maybe just stay in your town if he knew something really bad was going on outside. His favorite to do is when your falling asleep he’ll play the calmest songs from his time to comfort you as you drift off.

• When he officially asked to court you he compared you to the beautiful crimson of the sky, saying your cheeks where more bright and delightful to gaze at then the morning sky, when it was particularly bright. All kinds of poetic gestures, sending crows to your windows, sending your gifts of bodies with knives in them, and the knives had small notes left for you on some quote from a book you like. Now how he knows those are your favorite books are beyond you…. you don’t talk about your books much but, maybe he’s seen you reading it at some random point in time? Who knows, not you.

• He’s all in all not a bad partner, of course when you want to go out he usually goes along with what you want to do but if there’s something he refuses to do, his claws are sinking into your arms to keep you from dragging him to do it.

• His smile is genuine around you and you adore when he lets you pet his ears~ he’s not that intimate early on in the relationship but when your just sitting on a couch or watching the sun set from somewhere and you just reach over and pet his ears, he is putty in your hands, physically he keeps his compose fairly well but inside he’s willing to do anything to keep you touching his ears, telling himself he would sell YOU his soul if it meant you wouldn’t stop, petting his ears and helping him groom his antlers, don’t even get me started on the tail… oh wait he’s already got something going on with that… well darn… hopefully you will keep accepting his caring actions rather than push them away.

——-STOP reading here if you don’t want to get into the more “story line” of this idea, if you want more of a story KEEP READING——-

• One night some sinner had gotten into your liquor stash and drank himself ditzy, you chased him into an ally way, looking to end his fucking life. Most of those where gifts from clients that most likely had aphrodisiacs and at the time where trying to get down your pants, but he drank from one of the few special bottles Alastor had gifted you and you went ballistic. You ended up catching him and killing him, and taking a tip from Rosie and ripped some of his limbs off, letting yourself indulge in the taste of warm, liquor filled blood. When you came too you realized you didn't know where you had chased him. Now covered in blood, liquor, rain, mud and whatever mess you stepped in on your way over. Seeing the iluminating lights of the sign for the Hazbin Hotel, your only thought was to try and get to Alastor.

*knock knock knock*

*creeeeeeeeeeeeeeek*

"Oh! Oh my gosh, hi! Come in Come in. " An ecstatic girl ushered you inside, making a towel appear seemingly out of nowhere and helping you dry off. "I'm Charlie, whats your name?"

"Oh, how rude of me" I respond trying to shake off my chills, my nose starts to get a bit runny. "Uhm I'm Y/N, I don't mean to sound intrusive- uh is Alastor here?" I ask hesitantly, not wanting to just barge in but after the night I've had I wasn't in too much of a mood for pleasantries.

"Oh yes! Here, why don't you sit at the bar, have some tea or water or something and I'll run up to his radio tower." She sat me down at a bar stool and walked away. The bartender was turned around already whipping me up something.

"So he's got you wrapped up here huh?" I inquired with a smirk, resting my hands under my chin and trying to keep a little composure. His wings ruffled a little bit before he reached for my favorite hell made brand of brandy, my cotten candy brandy, I'm not one for sweets but I love the zing it gives you. The kind where you loose your vision for a good 7 seconds.

"You haven't usually been one to be a stranger, what gives?" Husk asked turning around handing me my drink and a bowl of pretzels.

"Well when I saw you weren't at your usual gambling tables I didn't think to question it, thought you where maybe getting more chips... ooooor hooking up in the chip room.... ooooor selling even MORE of your soul, if that's even possible, maybe like your wings or your feathers or, like your body as a human shield in the next extermination, never thought you'd be here slinging drinks." I shrugged swirling my drinks around the glass before taking a sip.

Before he could respond he took a bit of a step back and growled really low and deep in his throat.

"Ah yes well he owed me a favor and since I took an investment in this hotel I needed a little work on it done." Alastor came up behind me with a warm towel wrapping it around my shoulders as the one Charlie gave me was wrapped around my waist keeping my legs warm... unfortunatly the sinner got caught at a bad time, I was in the middle of 'me time' before bed and was in my good silk nighty. Glad I walked to my office with my fuzzy robe and ballet slippers. I feel really warm and fuzzy, my heads all….. comfy now… is that static coming from Alast-

"Oh deerest your all wet, would you like to come up and I can help you clean up." He asked you shaking the towel on your shoulders helping you sit up. "Oh yes please" you responded looking at him with sad tired eyes.

-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-

I took a sip of the warm tea Alastor had made me and laid back in the bath, taking it all in. I WAS just planning a quiet evening in at home, maybe snack on some treats I got in the Gluttony ring, watch some hells soap operas. Now I’m here, in my beau’s bathroom, relaxing… maybe I can convince him to let me up to his radio tower to listen to his late night show live, oh that would be fun. I wonder what it looks like up there? I’ve only ever seen his actual town house… a little ways away from town-

*CRASH *

“What the fuck?!” I sat up so fast I almost slipped, sitting on my butt… in the tub…. Shit did he spike my tea?

“Alastor? Is everything okay?” I asked loudly. Standing up carefully keeping three points of contact with the tub and the floor. I reached for a different robe he had given me, a soft red fluffy one, with (what I hope is faux ) fur along the collar and wrists.

Walking towards the bathroom door very carefully I cautiously reached for the shiny silver handle. Telling myself it’s okay but feeling a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach, and the handle was the top of the pit…

“Alastor?” I called out again, once more not getting an answer, bringing my hands to my mouth when I heard a large thump out there, trying to keeping my composure… oh what the hell they know I’m here already. I went to turn the handle what the door got pushed in, had I been able to see what happened I would’ve seen Alastor in his demonic form and it probably would’ve scared the actual shit outta me… but NOPE

I went to open the door when it got pushed open and a bright blue flash covered all of my vision and made me feel… kinda tried… but I’m awake, almost like I’m not in my body… it’s… really hard……. To keep my….. keep my eyes …………………………….………open…….

• You collapsed to the floor slowly breathing, in a trance, feeling some sharper claws pick you up bridal style, if you weren’t so dazed out you would see Alastor frozen in time… like a paused TV… unable to get to you, or subdue your captor. You still had enough conscience to hear a muffled voice talking to a phone~

“Yeah we got her… foil chains worke—“

“Get her ba-“

“…. Longer you take the quicker……….. flasher wears-“

• Last thing you could remember hearing before completing falling out was a radio scramble in your brain, the sound going from a hollow scraggly to a tight scraggle- like turning the tv in between stations………

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

AN: WELLLLL WHAT DID YA THINK???? Did you skip to down here or did you read the WHOLE thing. I really hope ya’ll like this, I’m so excited to make part 2, and maybe 3 or 4 depending on how far this goes.

Thank you to anyone who reads this and interacts in any way shape or form!!! Even if it’s just reading :) HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY AND REMEMBER

REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM BUY GOLD BYYYYYYEEEEEE

[withonly-sweetheart]

Threads of Carmine Red

They split your heart into two and the sticky sweet threads that hang between them only bring you closer to your doom. Can you every truly choose your fate? Or will it always be in their silky hands...?

a/n: ok erm so uh like well uh <- thats it. bye! characters are more expanded on in the endings because i cant do shit for shit. i fear.

heh now its time for credits

@candlekiss - MARI WHY'D YOU INSPIRE LIKE ALL OF THESE <3 but it was ur study of the scrapped character design of re8 ada that inspired this wildly massively changed sequence of events. LOVE YOU EITHER WAY POOKIE <3

@pxs-onthehunt - sorry for tagging you but your ada vampire art actually had me tweaking so hard... its kinda what inspired ada's personality throughout this... uh... thank you for your service <3

@vampiricgf <- kita tysm for helping with the atmosphere im still mindblown how your small piece of advice came SUCH a long way and i hope i've conveyed this right (probably havent sigh)

@eyesofsix - ur uhm aeon vampire art... harshi sent that to me because she was freaking out over it and i saw it and also freaked out and we danced in a freaking out circle together. your art is bringing people closer (together). <- stop the freaky jokes need to stop. BUT

(psst. if i didnt mention u in this one artist moots TRUST you're definitely in one of the other three.)

tw: descriptions of blood? ig? idfk something like that and then idek what this is man you just gotta read it ig (can you tell im off today THE OPPS HAVE WON SADLY)

wc: 2.2k

You don’t know where you’re going, but you do know that her eyes are following you. Tracking you, searing your back with their presence, origin unknown. You can confirm it is indeed a “her” watching you when that sultry voice finally appears from the shadows.

“Are you lost, little girl?” she muses, confident in a way you can’t quite explain. You try your best to be bold and lift your chin, surveying your surroundings in an unfavorable attempt to find her. “Ah, you won’t see me unless I want you to.”

“Do you know where I am?” you demand. “Can you get me out of here?”

“Ouch.” You can imagine a pout, yet no face to place it with. A simple expression with no master behind it, crimson lips twisted down. “Leaving so soon?”

“Yes,” you grit out. “I need to get back. Where the hell am I?”

“Can’t you tell?”

You glare out into the retreating light that only seems to twitch from your grasp as you near. A fretful game of tag that’ll never end, you fear. With a frown puckering your eyebrows, you glance upward, yet no flash of lightning comes through the night-ridden windows, useless in your pursuit. Only a flash of white-hot fear that surges through your blood.

A door creaks open somewhere to your left. You know better than to trust mysterious voices from the dark, but guidance is scarce in a place like this. At least you assume your location to be applicable to those terms, foolishly, perhaps.

“Go ahead,” she coaxes softly. “I’m simply helping you.”

Perhaps if there were light, you could’ve seen that she was trailing you the entire time, never more than a few steps away, itching to get her hands on you yet shoving that instinct into a box in her mind, a box known as patience.

You might’ve also noticed the pointed edges of her teeth when she grins as you stupidly stumble into the door, feeling around for the knob, and she waits with her hands clasped behind her back before you trip past something into the room.

And you miss her silently closing the door behind you.

There’s light in this room, thankfully, a dim light that only sparks to life after you take another few steps. A lantern tosses shadows in your face, painting the room in dramatic proportions, making the small area seem larger than life.

“Hello?” you call out, timidly. “Is anyone there?”

You shut your mouth immediately as soon as there’s yet another high pitched squeal from the floorboards, unable to support your weight as well as you’d like, and something splinters behind you. 

Spinning around to find nothing there throws you off balance, and you manage to get your foot stuck in the broken wood. You make the mistake of reaching down, kneeling and pawing at your foot, which leaves you with minor scratches on your now free foot.

It comes with the cost of blood welling up, tears of your skin gushing from a painful gash that somehow goes unnoticed in the first few seconds of shock before you scream. Then you slam your uninjured hand back over your mouth, trying not to scowl at yourself, biting at the knuckle in a silly attempt to cancel out the pain.

It doesn’t work. If anything, it seems your efforts have all been in vain. A weak kick is delivered to your neck, and you sway to the side lightly. There’s an unimpressed growl from behind you, just before something strikes the same area at least ten times harder, and your vision goes dark, fading from your sideways slant of the room.

<><><><>

“Stop moving,” a voice hums in your ear. It seems too sudden for you, jerking back to life like a monster, flailing and thrashing your limbs. You’re bound with something, rope, maybe, but the state of panic sends adrenaline rushing to your head.

“It’s like she does the opposite of whatever you say,” that same sultry voice remarks, albeit from a distance, which doesn’t scare you as much as the presence looming over your shoulder.

“Relax,” it muses, too quiet to determine whether it’s male or female, too subtle to know the differences. Your calf burns, as if your wound has magically gotten larger, spreading over the expanse of bare skin where your pants are rolled up.

You blink and still at the feather light touch of calloused fingertips tracing up your arm, drawing the silhouette of your body, yet the feeling is almost… otherworldly.

“What…” you sputter, an unwelcome shudder rippling through your body. “What are you?”

“What are you,” the woman combats, “if not a creature of Earth?”

They remain pure voices, the harmony of male and female in perfect vocals that may as well be songs themselves, yet the pure chill of fear thrums alongside your searing blood, at every subtle touch unwillingly placed onto your skin.

“Just let me go, please,” you plead, just short of convincing. A string inside you unravels, tugging you back towards them, an unprecedented attraction that could try to coil back up, spin back into a shape in your body, but it reaches for them.

You imagine a well trimmed finger, sharp nails glinting in the darkness, source of light unknown, curling around that thread, a leash for a disobedient dog.

“Aren’t you just that?” she muses. “A sweet little puppy? A human plaything for the society that has existed long before you were even a thought in your ancestors’ flimsy minds. They were no smarter than you, it seems.”

You nod in compliance, feeling yourself slip further and further away, stretching your legs in an attempt to swim through the murky liquid you feel yourself sinking into, trying to reach for the glowing spool, the source of all your turmoil, but it fades within the violent waves.

“She will suffice,” another voice huffs out, the one with the ghastly touch. “Prepare her.”

“Why should it be me?” she scoffs. “You’ve gotten your hands dirty, do it yourself.”

Uh oh. Looks like Mom and Dad are fighting.

<><><><>

The next time you find yourself, it takes what seems like hours to trudge through the inky, vast darkness threatening to swallow you whole. But you see your soul sparkling, woven in as gems of memories within the thin line, glowing so intensely you fear you might burn yourself upon touching it.

But your fingers graze the raised material and you immediately sit upright, eyes blown open as you force yourself to take steady breaths, trying to readjust to the feeling of being in control of your own body.

What had really happened back there? She was the puppeteer to your mindless actions, unable to change the course of events from your glass bubble, restricting your air, trying to erase all evidence of you. You wonder who the mysterious, sultry woman is.

“Thank you.” The same voice calls out, this time from the only patch of darkness available in the well-lit room, morning sun casting warmth onto your cheek as you crane your neck up to catch a glance of the woman.

Narrow eyes peer back at you, and the light in the room shifts quickly enough for you to acknowledge her eerily pale skin, tinted lips the only pop of color in her otherwise drab outfit, a black cloak with crimson accents splashed here and there.

Only when she drops from the ceiling do you realize that they aren’t accents at all. Splotches of dried blood, you see more closely as she approaches, and you scramble back on the mattress you’ve been placed on, only to have your back meet the wall in a most unpleasant manner.

“Don’t worry,” she says with a chuckle. “I won’t hurt you.”

You resist the urge to furrow your eyebrows, fearing that she might take it as a sign of disrespect and pounce. How often do you see vampires? Trick question, the answer is never. You’re not prepared in the slightest, yet you can’t deny the awe that quickly fills you.

Awe at her appearance. If you hadn’t seen the blood, you wouldn’t have even begun to suspect she’s a blood sucking demon, and even now you find yourself doubting the very idea. How could someone so nice be evil?

“I… apologize if I came off strange earlier,” she says with a smile that curves her teeth, and you fight to discern her teeth from her fangs, almost undetectable if you weren’t hanging off your seat and biting your nails in anticipation of them. “You must understand our hesitations to accept a new member.”

“A… new… member?” You test out each word slower than the last, and you feel like you’re back in primary school with a teacher, bless her, patient enough to guide you through it.

“It’s been millennia since a human has met our qualifications. When Leon scouted you, I knew-”

“Leon?” you interrupt. Irritation sparks in her eyes, previously warm, melted honey freezing up quickly. “He’s the guy who was following me here!”

“Yes, but-”

“And he was the one who tied me up!” you say with a gasp. “So who are you?”

“It looks like you’re more interested in talking than listening.” The woman - or should you say vampire? -  curls her lip and you can’t tell if it’s in distaste or carefully placed amusement. It feels like you’re tiptoeing on ice, cracks reverberating through the room, devastating enough to bring the entire building down.

“Sorry.”

“Hm.” She lifts her nose, somewhat haughtily. “You’re quite gullible, aren’t you?”

“Better fix that soon, ma’am,” a voice replied sarcastically from the doorway. Ada shifts her figure so you can see who, but of course, their identity becomes quickly hidden with the light playing on their face, shadows from their cloak hood dapping the planes of their face.

“I’d think twice about talking down to me, Leon,” she replies suavely, a smile coaxing her lips into emotion. “She already knows.”

You swear you can hear his teeth gnash against each other. “That was my job, Ada.”

“Your one job,” she teases, eyes flitting down to you with a subtle wink before turning to face him with an all too important look, “and I beat you to it.”

“Ada,” you test out quietly. Even the name sounds foreign, a medley of arcane qualities and inscrutable judgment. 

"Tell me then," Leon says in a low voice, stepping further into the room. You press back into the plush mattress, sensing the tension mounting between them. "What exactly have you told our guest?" 

"Only that which she deserves to know," Ada replies coyly.

"Which is?"

She levels him an unimpressed stare. "Patience. All will be explained in due time." 

Leon shoots you a glance, lips thin. "How have you found our hospitality so far? Comfortable?"

You nod hesitantly, eyeing the door behind him. "Very kind of you all, though the circumstances of my arrival were... unconventional."

Ada offers a soft chuckle. "Leon lacks finesse, perhaps true. But fear not - harm will not come to you here." Her reassurance does little to do any of its intended purpose. Part of you longs to trust her gentle words and curious gaze, yet Leon's wariness makes you wonder what other truths lie beneath the surface. 

"I understand you must have questions," Ada continues. "Please, ask what you will. An open exchange benefits us all."

You hesitate, darting knowing looks between them. Leon's intense glare conveys he wishes to avoid certain subjects.

"If I may... what exactly are you going to do to me?"

Ada’s enigmatic smile vanishes. Leon scoffs.

“I thought you informed her of her purpose, Ada,” he says, her name coming out of his mouth laced with venom, the same that swirls through your mind as their gazes bore into your mind.

And for the first time since you’ve seen him, Leon grins.

“You are going to become one of us.”

You blink, the words becoming garbled with all the background noise fresh in your mind, coarse tongue lead weight in your mouth, running your teeth over chapped lips.

“And now, we play a little game,” Ada says, although reluctantly, as if suddenly her eagerness has been replaced with the grim truth. “You must pick.”

“Pick… what?”

“One of us,” Leon says, stepping forward. “One of us will grant you freedom; you’ll wake up safe in your home, with no recollection of this incident.”

“Yet the other will lead you to our cause, the same fate that befell us.” Ada’s face has gone stony, giving no hints of which path she leads. “You will join us. This is less of a game, and more a test of your judgment. Choose wisely.”

They unfurl their hands like broken angels, reaching down from you in an inverted version of heaven, more reaching up from hell, but you can’t say that, now can you? Neither of them are trustworthy enough, so you quickly make a decision. 

And you reach for…

ADA?

or

LEON?

[coconox]

my 2 cents on the state of whb

i've been contemplating about my thoughts on this game since i never really sat down and processed it, and a month of not playing the game and just keeping up with fandom content/official game news i think i can properly format my words (hopefully idk lol)

if you're looking for a specific section dw i'll properly format everything under the cut so you can just scroll till you find whatever you're looking for (also head's up it's insanely long i'm sorry but kinda not sorry i wanted to just put all my thoughts into one post rather than multiple)

SMALL INTRO

for some context on my experience, i have been playing this game everyday since launch/day 1, i was f2p up until i got juno's card, which i'll talk about later, but just know in advanced that juno was the only case where i've spent money. i uninstalled around the time the announcement was made in regards to no posting full stories of paid content, so almost month ago, and only reinstalled recently to grab certain items to add to the spreadsheet that i've been maintaining since november (aka a month after launch)

i've said it privately to a couple of close friends but i'll say it publicly here: imho, i think they released the game way too early even with the fact that they delayed launch 3 times.

i understand a handleful of bugs are from the fact that the public servers are significantly larger than test servers, but playing this game after the servers kinda stabilized feels like we are the test players, like we're constantly given rough drafts rather than the final copy.

the localization is rough to say the least, but i think i've been so used to it from other gachas that i've played that it didn't really ruin the experience for me,,, except when the text would switch to an entirely different language HJGFDHJGK

from visual bugs to gameplay bugs to voiceline bugs, there's been a lack of communication in terms of what has been fixed and what is still a wip. instead the players just have to "fuck around and find out" in terms of whether something has been fixed or not.

as i continue to state the issues with this game and its direction i'd like to put a disclaimer that i am by no means an expert in any of this stuff lol. i'm just a guy who nerds out over math, spreadsheets, and video games and everything i'll be saying is my personal opinion based on what i've seen/experienced.

THE ISSUE(S)

SOLOMON SEALS AND GACHA

i think the first mistake was them adding solomon seals in the first place. based on what packs in the past looked like, it looked like red keys were originally designed to be for debut characters, but instead they throw a curve ball and add ANOTHER gacha currency that was essentially p2w only up till some point early this year. this ultimately led to there being 2 standard banners, both of which essentially do the same thing except one doesn't have A/B/C-ranks. the fact that now even with realm of seraphim, in order for f2ps to have enough to guarantee with seals, they need to save for a year and a half. that is WAY too long for ONE character. this is of course worst case scenario of needing to hit pity, i'm aware you can get characters early but you should never always expect you'll get early in gacha games, i learned that the hard way during my idk how many years i've been playing gachas lol

i personally think that there's no winning across any of the gacha banners. there's no pity for either of the standards, and debut L/S-ranks have imo too high of a pity for what we're actually receiving per week. we essentially get more or less 1 pull per week in terms of red keys, yellow keys, and seals through dailies/weeklies alone, though of course that can vary cause of the rng key boxes, monthly login rewards, etc.

PANCAKES

there seems to be a general pattern that i've noticed of rather than confronting an issue directly they try to create something new in hoping that fixes the issue instead. an example of that would be the pancake shop.

the old pancake shop was fine as is, we could get a multi for relatively cheap price and get pie boxes everyday (albeit they're rng but pies are pies). what they could've done was add the L-ranks and skip tickets or whatever new thing they wanted to add into that old shop, adjusting the currency wherever necessary. yet instead they just remove the old system entirely and replace it for a new one that no one really asked for? while having the L-ranks in shop are nice, an entirely new system wasn't necessary to make that one relatively small addition. having A+-ranks and lower give gold and books was also not necessary, we have resource stages containing those 2 things and it's very accessible to everyone. what resources we are lacking in however are tears and pies, which are arguably more important than gold and books since those 2 currencies are the core to ascending/lvling characters and their skills.

PIES

i've emailed pb in the past in regards to if there will be other permanent methods for obtaining pies, and their response was holy coin portal and events. those two are NOT stable enough for pie income considering the prices of skills. if there's instances in unholy board where we need to level a character's skills, i'd expect there to be some sort of resource stage that would allow us to get pies so that we can easily obtain that skill level requirement.

"META" GAMEPLAY

i'll explain the quotes in a bit but i do want to put a disclaimer that whb was the first time i've experienced a full on tower defense style gameplay for gachas. i was already familiar with how it works kinda because of neural cloud even though the game as a whole is more like an auto-chess game of sorts, but some story gameplay had tower defense mechanisms and i learned a fair bit from playing that. personally i also haven't played arknights since i'm trying to cut down on the amount of gachas i play but i am aware of its playstyle through friends who like to attempt to drag me into playing it cause of certain characters that i might simp over (*cough flamebringer cough insider cough chongyue cough*)

disclaimer aside, trying to piece together what characters work and what don't genuinely hurts my brain. i put "meta" in quotes because realistically there's only 1: all L-rank light types, ideally at least 1 tank, maybe 1 healer (though a tank can act as both), rest be whatever dps you'd like really (preferably satan considering the fact he can be extremely reliable without his ultimate unlike a few characters). of course, everyone will have a different opinion on what they deem as meta, but that's the general idea i'd personally follow based on what kind of battles have been given to us, what characters are available, etc. the rest tbh are just "cope and seethe" for lack of a better term.

there's a huge type advantage with light and dark types, and i really wish they could buff the other elements more just show they have some spotlight too. i also wish there were more non-light L-ranks. as of making this post, out of the 23 L-rank characters there is currently only 1 non-light L-rank, and it's juno, an L-rank fire marksman.

the part that really "hurts" me the most (don't really know what other word to put here LOL) is the fact that this game is going in a very specific direction of just dps'ing through everything and hope you clear the stage before the enemies kill you.

this game has a huge and imbalanced ratio between dps characters and support characters regardless of element. the fact that we only have 5 healers (NOT including lucifer (victory) considering he's technically a marksman and the healing is from his artifact and not in his skills) and 8 tanks, whereas marksman and close-rangers have twice or thrice the amount is absurd. what pains me more is the fact that for tanks, if you don't have mammon, you're screwed. arguably the best non-mammon option players have that's accessible is bimet. valefor and eligos share the same kit with the fact that their downfall is the possibility that they could be instakilled the second they pop their ult. healers on the other hand are somewhat more lenient. if you don't have lucifer, marbas is your next best, then gamigin (marbas and gamigin can technically be placed interchangeably since their healing differs by 0.1%, it just depends on who you have), then morax, then maybe buer but he only heals 1 unit at a time rather than multiple but i digress. healers still have multiple and very reliable non-L-rank alternatives whilst tanks really only have 1. i really, really hope there's more support units in the future cause man this sucks.

NIGHTMARE PASS

spending $50-$70, on paper, is significantly better than spending ~$400 for a character, and that's really the only "good" thing about it 💀

$50-$70 may feel like nothing to some players, but to a majority, that is a portion of a cost towards food, groceries, rent, etc. basically, i'd assume a majority of people would prioritize surviving than watching pixels on a screen.

i understand at the end of the day pb is running a business, but for kings to be fully locked behind a paywall knowing for a fact that a majority of the player base are 1. casuals/f2ps and 2. are here for the kings is absurd. plus with the fact that typically nightmare pass characters aren't added to standard and aren't always 100% guaranteed to rerun in the future just puts the nail in the coffin for me.

i think it makes more sense for non-kings like juno to be in nightmare pass because it's just additional fun and silly content that arguably won't be tied to the main lore and whatnot, maybe referenced as a silly bit here or there but it'd be more of an easter egg than something important that you absolutely need to know.

personally i bought juno's pass because i love his design, kit, and voice. story was kinda meh for me personally but i really just cared more about the va and gameplay. gameplay-wise, he certainly does not disappoint as a gehenna support unit. but do i regret purchasing him? yes and no. oddly enough this was probably the first i've ever felt guilty in terms of buying something i wanted in a gacha game. yes i regret it in terms of i'm no longer really playing this game anymore, which is unfortunate considering i barely made it through half a year of this game's release. yet at the same time, no i don't regret it because he is a really fun unit. for example, when it's gabriel's rotation in realm of seraphim, juno's, leraye (nostalgia)'s, and leraye's ultimates absolutely DESTROY gabriel in a matter of like <10 or so seconds and it's so satisfying to see. i also just really like his va, scratches a very particular itch in my brain.

anyways before i get sidetracked over appreciating juno, the fundamental flaws of nightmare pass are essentially

you shouldn't need to buy both tiers to get the character. you should realistically need to buy the highest tier and by default it unlocks all previous tiers below it

ui is a bit confusing. i still don't get why f2ps have to unlock parts of nightmare pass that they can't even access/obtain. there should be a clear separation between what f2ps get, what advanced tier gets, and what premium tier gets.

it's too expensive. most bp's i know are ~$10 at the highest tier, though that's considering the fact that bp's i'm familiar with only give cosmetics rather than actual units

from what i've heard through the grapevine, beel (bath) is basically in the same formatting as all the other currently existing bath cards, which are all currently obtainable through gacha. beel has no reason to be in nightmare pass. it genuinely makes no sense as to why pb put him there aside from getting money and that in-turn alienates a majority of the fan base since we can't even view the prologue of card stories if they're a nightmare pass character.

when nightmare pass was first released during christmas, everything was in chaos. the fact that a nightmare pass character needed the other two limited gacha characters gameplay-wise is absurd (mind you, this was before we were given the chance to earn seals through weeklies). everything was too expensive, and rather than an enjoyable christmas event it felt like a "merry christmas, now give us money" kind of situation. i think nightmare pass should not be happening as frequent as it is now. the gap between gabriel and juno was perfectly fine (4 month gap btw), but for a nightmare pass to happen back to back on top of gacha events is too much for both f2ps and p2ws.

the point of buying packs, bp, anything that costs real money in a gacha game is so it makes your gameplay experience easier, paying shouldn't be the main component of your game. personally based on what i've experienced through playing gacha games you should theoretically be able to pull for almost every character on debut just by playing dailies/weeklies/events, yet here we get a bit over a multi per patch (this includes playing realm of seraphim).

DICTATING FANDOM INTERACTIONS

i wholeheartedly believe a fandom is what keeps a game alive. a hindrance to the fan base is a hindrance to the game, which can be seen with the aftermath of pb announcing that legal action will be taken if full stories of paid content are shared publicly. while i understand from a business standpoint that pb would want to enforce the "no sharing full story" thing for paid content since they want players to yk, buy the card, like i mentioned in the previous section, the majority of the player base just cannot afford it.

the people who posted full stories wanted to share to those who cannot afford it, some people may not want only tidbits of the story but rather the whole context, especially those who enjoy dissecting character lore but don't have the irl funds to fully experience it themselves. some people may even want to archive it, cause honestly no one knows how long this game will stay up and we want to archive story so that it's something we can easily look back on. to essentially make players borderline terrified on trying to figure out whether or not it's ok to publicly post stuff in relation to any sort of story content is absurd.

there is also that loophole of what is defined as a paid story. when events end and get put behind a paywall, does that now count as paid story or is that still ok? what about debut L-ranks that are behind seals and there's a 3 month downtime till they're added to standard? or is it just referring to nightmare pass characters? paid stories in the context of the state of the game right now is insanely broad, it's practically at least 50% of this game (i'm exaggerating (or maybe not i wouldn't be surprised if that was actually the case)).

i understand no datamining, while it technically speaking isn't illegal, it's disrespectful to the devs, but a lot of these call to action methods they're announcing are rather extreme imo.

with the most recent cards either being put to standard 3 months after their banner ends or flat out paywalled and not 100% guaranteed to have a rerun, story content as of late has been very sparse. what people want most is a main story update, which we were originally promised to be updated every 3 months and it is now month 6 and we still have nothing.

EVENTS AND EVENT STORIES

event stories being locked behind a paywall after the event ends is probably the first time i've ever seen a gacha game do this. most of the gachas i've played either don't archive event story at all and just rerun it every year, don't rerun or archive the event at all (i.e. if you miss it, cope and seethe), or they archive it for FREE. it feels insanely greedy how EVERY event story needs payment if you ever want to backread an old event.

what also concerns me is the fact like instances like gamigin's event or beleth's event carry so much lore for their respective region and that may never show up in main story, which then screws new players over in not knowing the full context behind every region. events like minhyeok's or bimet's are fine in the sense that it doesn't carry that much lore in comparison to the more recent events. the first few events were like silly banter and getting to know a bit more about the cast.

also changing the event shop from daily pies to a set limit per account was an awful choice it just emphasizes my point earlier of how unstable obtaining pies are in this game.

FULFILLING PROMISES

i think while it was a smart move to list what's gonna be implemented throughout the year, they shouldn't have stated deadlines on when they're doing so.

the following are the things that still aren't implemented yet as of making this post:

new daily chats (expected within february)

friends system (expected within march)

birthday system (more specifically celebrating your bday) (expected within april)

new main story chapter (new chapter expected every 3 months)

if pb were to just say "here's what to expect in 2024" and NOT give specific months, that's fine, but giving these specific months sets an expectation that they would complete it within that timeframe. main story for example is probably the one people have been anticipating the most. by now as of july, if we were to follow the expectation pb gave us, we would currently be on chapter 7, or at the very least chapter 7 would've been released some time this month. we have not even gotten chapter 6 yet. chapter 5 was released in january. it has been 6 months since the last main story update. failing to meet these timeframes will make people upset, because it was mentioned in the announcement that it's 1. a promise (i hope i'm not the only one that takes promises seriously) and 2. in bold yellow text, "what we can realistically expect to see in 2024." the only promises that were fulfilled on-time were the ones in january, the rest have been delayed by at least a month. if you're giving a timeline of what's happening, announce if there's any changes to that timeline, because not doing so will make players believe you were lying to them even though you probably aren't and are instead just falling behind schedule.

i think what hurts more to me is the fact that they aren't publicly communicating these delays. it shouldn't be our responsibility to find out why or when something isn't happening within the timeframe they promised (e.g. by emailing them), it should be up to the devs to communicate that publicly to us. i'm not saying they should overshare what's going on behind the scenes, it can simply just be a simple announcement of "hey, we're very sorry but we're having some technical difficulties with this certain feature and we need more time. here is some compensation in the meantime, thank you for your patience and again, we're very sorry." it's that simple.

FINAL THOUGHTS

i mentioned back in my intro that i feel like this game was released too early purely because the fundamentals of making a bare minimum decent gacha game are just not there. if every patch update has people complaining on what's just recently been added/removed, you're not fully listening to what the audience wants. while i understand pb is a small business, a business is still a business regardless of size and criticism/feedback is necessary especially in a game dev setting.

i've followed this game's news ever since it was teased, which was december of 2022, i've lurked/participated in the fandom (on here at least) ever since september of 2023. i've felt a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions of "omg this is so great" to "why is this even a feature," hoping that over time the game would get better, but the only thing that's improved was server stability (and even that's still a bit rocky 💀).

a huge part of my stay was just being a lurker in the fandom. i genuinely appreciate all the creatives who fulfill asked prompts of characters, make ocs, fanart, write theories, reactions + many more. i love seeing other people's works/opinions and having just a lively fandom made it all more fun.

but at this point this game is just not for me. i've really only stuck around to read mammon's lore but since main story hasn't been updated in 6 months i'll really only chime back in when there's finally an update. it still amazes me to this day that my patience lasted this long. i think i've covered everything i wanted to cover but my memory is swiss cheese so if i forgot something,,, woops 💀

as for the future of the spreadsheet for those who check back on it, it's still being managed by myself and windy, who has been a huge help since day 1 of creating the build lists and team comps and i honestly can't thank her enough for also enduring this pain of a game with me as we've worked on this spreadsheet together hgjdfgh (luv u bestie 🫶). though it's written in the narrative that both of us will eventually quit updating it entirely if this game persists on not having any signs of improvement. when that day comes i'll make sure to post an announcement about it.

as for myself i'm probably still gonna lurk in the fandom/keep an eye out on game news. i doubt i'll be making any fanart anymore unless if i really have the motivation/boredom for it, but currently i'm revamping the "aesthetics" of this account so nothing's really set in stone. maybe i'll make a few whb rambles here or there if some game news really irks me but for the most part i've already been in the process of moving on to other things.

if you've stuck around this long to read this mess of a post, thank you for sticking around and have a cookie, you deserve it 🫴🍪

[pikahlua]

I hope I'm not pestering you at this point, but when exactly do you think he changed his idea of what being the number 1 meant to the extent that he no longer cared about the actually title? Because I got the impression that he'd accepted his weakness when compared to Midoriya under the condition that he would surpass him in the future, based on what he said during the War when trying to keep up with Deku. I kind of thought his visceral reaction to failing to truly damage Shigaraki, and him embracing the damage his awakening was doing to himself to kind of imitate Deku and the power he achieved with his self-sacrificial mindset, kinda supported that. How off am I?

Sorry if I'm making you repeat things you've said.

Oh, you're not off at all. Forgive me, I did not originally understand your meaning in the first question:

Do you think there's going to be a moment where Bakugou comes to terms with the fact that he might never be the number 1 the way he wanted? I can see the story is going on a "save to win" route, but I've been curious about how him realizing his most powerful attacked only grazed Shigaraki will play out.

I thought by not being "the number 1 the way he wanted," you meant his original idea of it from the beginning of the series--the "win no matter what" mentality without a thought for saving anybody. I see now you meant something different.

It sounds like you were asking if Katsuki will ever face the possibility that he may never surpass Izuku or be able to reach Izuku's level when it comes to firepower, that Katsuki may be in Endeavor's situation (not with Endeavor's mindset though) where he constantly sees how wide the gap between them is and must reconcile with that, that Katsuki may have to settle on a "number one" where he surpasses Izuku not with his own strength but only with help from others (i.e. teamwork).

To which I must say, uh, western fans, we gotta talk.

Anon, you may not be guilty of harboring the idea I'm about to challenge, but I see this one particular sentiment all over the place in the English-speaking fandom, and I really need to make something clear to everyone:

Horikoshi has never stated there is an upper limit on any character's power growth potential--NOT EVEN IZUKU'S.

Don't get confused by the "100% One For All" thing. That's a measure of how much of One For All Izuku is USING. It's meant to compare with how much power All Might could use at 100%--but Izuku's real 100% will be different. One For All didn't just get more powerful by being passed on. Each user before Izuku, including notably Shinomori, cultivated and improved the power. Izuku will do so too. His current 100% is not his end-all-be-all 100% over the course of his life. Izuku can train and work hard and grow and make One For All stronger, too.

And Izuku isn't the only one who can do this. Anyone, Katuski included, can improve their quirk. They don't have some set 100% limit they can't increase with enough effort.

To which you might say: okay, but realistically, there is SOME upper limit to that, right?

But actually...no. This is manga/anime, not real life. And shounen manga is particularly notorious for its focus on effort and improvement through hard work. This is a time-honored tradition of the genre dating all the way back to Son Goku of Dragonball (and probably even further back too). The upper limits of Goku's power growth become so absolutely ludicrous as his series carries on and needs him to grow stronger--SO HE JUST GETS STRONGER. That's like the EPITOME of what he is: someone who wants to get stronger so he works to get stronger and, lo and behold, he gets stronger!

And lest we forget, Horikoshi has named Goku as one of his ideals of a "hero," as one of the characters from whom All Might (and by extension Katsuki) takes inspiration.

You know how each generation of quirks has greater potential than the last? This is a direct parallel of One For All's evolution. It showcases that ALL quirks have the ability to evolve into something powerful just like One For All did; it's just a matter of what the quirk user does with it. And each generation can cultivate their quirk and pass it along to get even stronger too. If you want to be a real stickler about how maybe only CERTAIN generations of quirks could surpass One For All, sure, fine, whatever (actually not fine but I'll deal with this later*). We don't know which generation of quirk users Katsuki falls into, and there's a real chance he doesn't know either. But he was born in the same generation as Izuku, so there's no reason his quirk can't be of a ninth generation too. So, he has every reason to believe he could become just as strong as Izuku. He always believed he could surpass All Might, after all.

*Okay let's deal with this little nugget now. Does the ordinal generation of Katsuki's quirk really matter? Not really. Izuku's power was cultivated by many as a theme, but he acknowledges his is a strength made from others'. That doesn't make One For All inherently the best quirk ever, just that it was able to become so strong BECAUSE of others. If the others had done nothing with it, it wouldn't have become so powerful. MHA acknowledges there are other important and good ways of improving one's power: through hard work and effort. It's not that one form of cultivation is absolutely better than the other, just that they both have their uses--and that BOTH TOGETHER would be the best route to improve one's power. This ties into how Japan traditionally views talent and intelligence as products of hard work and improvement in contrast to how the west traditionally views these things as inherent and set at birth. If you're unaware, the Japanese word for "quirk," kosei, translates to "individuality/personality." Individuality/personality is also one of those traits a person has that can be seen as inherent or cultivated--but really it's a product of BOTH. The question of nature versus nurture, as always, is answered with "well actually, both nature and nurture play a part."

(If you want to go off on a tangent with this, go read whatever is the latest version of @siflshonen's Katsuki Bakugou powerpoint presentation on their blog at the time you are reading this.)

Now, I told you all that to tell you this:

Katsuki should never have to face the idea that he will never be able to be number 1 because it's simply not true.

Katsuki has every potential to surpass Izuku. If Izuku were to be satisfied with his quirk's growth and call it quits, Katsuki's quirk's growth would eventually outshine his GUARANTEED. It's because Katsuki is that kind of character, and this is demonstrated in spades throughout the entire manga. Gosh, remember when Izuku said he was only using 8% of OFA in Deku vs Kacchan, Part 2? Remember how the fandom assumed he would dwarf everyone else in comparison as he progressed further down the line?

And remember how Katsuki "grit his teeth to keep from falling behind"?

Everyone's always going on about how Izuku's power will someday eclipse everyone else's, but he's had that monstrous OFA power with him all along since he got it. He just has to improve his BODY to match OFA's power. Has no one really put any thought to how absolutely BATSHIT it is that Katsuki kept up with him? After Katsuki's growth had stalled for so long?

Remember, Izuku's raw power surpassed Katsuki's in DvK2. So by the time of the Paranormal Liberation War, Katsuki developed his quirk to match OFA at 30% in the same amount of time it took Izuku just to develop his body to handle that much OFA. If we're gonna get into the western versions of power-scaling where we care about natural limits...

THE HEIGHTS OF KATSUKI'S "NATURAL" LIMITS ARE EMPIRICALLY ASTRONOMICALLY INSANE.

So, I come back to something you said:

I kind of thought his visceral reaction to failing to truly damage Shigaraki, and him embracing the damage his awakening was doing to himself to kind of imitate Deku and the power he achieved with his self-sacrificial mindset, kinda supported that.

...and to something I said:

But if you mean he'll reconcile with how his firepower compares to TomurAFO's, I'd say, uh, keep an eye out, because already he's had a quirk upgrade since he tried his Howitzer Cluster on TomurAFO. It's very likely that is no longer the upper limit of his capabilities. And that's just assuming he hasn't achieved any other power ups yet/won't get another one soon.

Katsuki's Howitzer Impact Cluster vs TomurAFO was a single snapshot in time. Katsuki has already had a quirk upgrade since then, and as you so aptly pointed out, he's had a sort of philosophical/meta upgrade too as he emulated Izuku. I doubt these will be the last improvements he experiences in his life. He was always held back from surpassing Izuku by the story because he was missing such a huge part of being a hero: saving people. But that's been resolved now. He and Izuku will be rivals who challenge each other to be better for the rest of their lives, and I doubt either one of them will ever truly pull away from the other in terms of raw potential (at least not for long). Katsuki may have instances of self-doubt, of course. He even may at some point acknowledge Izuku as his superior. But I don't think that's a reason for him to ever lose hope or give up. I think there's plenty of reason for anyone to believe it's possible for him to surpass Izuku someday. After all, All Might was considered the best hero of his age not because of his strength but because of his spirit.

And Katsuki's sure got a shitton of spirit.

[thestargayzingheroine]

My Adventures With Superman - A Rambling Set Of Thoughts

Okay, I know I don't USUALLY make posts like this and I especially hate getting cynical and nitpicky about these sorts of things because I just don't wanna contribute to all the negativity on the internet... But this is something I just couldn't shake.

So last night I watched the first season of My Adventures With Superman and... I have a lot of mixed feelings about to be brutally honest which is a shame because I know SO many people really loved this show.

Spoilers for season 1 obviously

For the most this show is great and it has a good foundation for Superman and gets him and his relationship with Lois so right. I love how Clark is this big, soft himbo twink dork who really reminds me of Adora from She-Ra and Lois is this fun tomboy who falls head over heels for him. And to be honest, all of their moments were genuinely the highlight of the show for me. SERIOUSLY ITS LIKE CLARK AND LOIS BUT MADE FOR SAPPHICS LIKE ME AND I ADORE THEM

I love the art style and animation too and really does put a very fresh new aesthetic on DC stuff. Sure, it's a bit too much like She-Ra and Voltron in places, but for DC, it's a really good breath of fresh air. Seriously, look at the designs of Deathstroke and Livewire!

But sadly, that's not all the show is and this is where I have to sadly talk about my negatives with it.

Sooooo… this show was written a lot of the same people who wrote She-Ra and it seems to be a big fan of various anime things too, especially Dragon Ball Z and Neon Genesis Evangelion.

To that end, the show has basically... turned Superman into a mixture of Adora and Goku, not just in terms of personality traits and in Adora's case, her relationship with Catra (Seriously, if Clark was a woman and blonde, I would swear she and Lois would just be Catradora)

This sadly does apply to how this show portrays the Kryptonians, who are implied to MOSTLY be a race of evil conquerors who tried to attack Earth only for Krypton to be destroyed. This is VERY similar to how the First One's were depicted in She-Ra, as well as how the Saiyans were in Dragon Ball Z. One could also argue that their attack on Earth is a weird mashup of the movie Arrival and the Second Impact from Evangelion but that's me getting very nitpicky.

So naturally, we have Adora and Goku's traits being applied to Superman. And…. those traits don't really work for Superman, at all. Now I should be clear, it seems to be that Jor-El and Lara were actually like rebels fighting the evil Kryptonians (which is ironically Mara's whole deal... you seeing the She-Ra pattern here yet?) but like... I don't like this idea at all. Poor Clark even has a fucking breakdown later on and thinks he's actually some evil weapon meant to conquer Earth AGAIN just like Adora from She-Ra being used as a weapon by the First One's. And I just feel bad for him because he's trying to be the good decent Superman we all love... but he's getting dragged into this plot that pretty much breaks him... and I don't really like it.

And then there's a whole subplot about Lois meeting alternate versions of herself and discovering alternate versions of Superman who are evil (which is bizarrely how Kryptonite is introduced in this show) which.... yeah I don't like that plot either. Nor am I the fan of Task Force X pulling the whole "the Government is treating clark as hostile because they think he's an evil alien" plot which I have gotten kinda tired of seeing in a lot of modern Superhero media. It's either Superheroes being hated or hunted by the government or being made to work for them.

And you know where this all probably came from for this show in particular? Fucking Zack Synder and Man of Steel. It's kind of ironic because a lot of this show feels like its in response to the Synderverse, like it feels obligated to comment on how people see Superman now because of those crappy movies, something that I know James Gunn is probably gonna do as well with his superman movie basically a live action version of Superman vs the Elite.

And just…. no, none of this shit is really necessary nor is it a good idea. Because it kinda takes away some bits of Superman that I like. I know the show isn't done yet but… I can already make a good guess of where it's going to go. And where it's going… idk if I'm gonna like a whole lot.

It is clearly a show wanting to be different from all that has been done before with Superman…. but by being different for the sake of it, it's doing a lot of stuff I just don't like.

I just want there to be a day when we get a Superman thing that doesn't have to justify the man's own existence and role in a story because some objectivist edgelord made a bad movie with him in it eleven years ago.

So yeah, by turning Superman into more or less mostly Adora from She-Ra... I think they might have messed him a bit in my eyes. I hope season 2, whenever that comes out hopefully pushes things in a more hopeful direction and I could genuinely call this a good adaption of Superman. Because there is so much potential with just from the relationship of Clark and Lois alone that tells me that these creators just GET how Superman's character is.

So yeah, I hope that long rambling thought made sense.

[annimator]

I need to be sedated

(I JUST WATCHED TOMJAKE EP 4 AND I HAVE THINGS TO SAY, ITS ALL UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE SPOILERS)

• Lucia’s rewatching All Stars lmao. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE QUEEN YOU LIKE REALITY TV AND CARE ALOT FOR TOM AS A FRIEND

• Tom’s quitting the police force, good for him. I’m saying this as a chaotic neutral-ish person

• YEA SHE ADMITTED IT, SHE CARES :D

• Intro time- OH OK NOW YOU SWITCH BACK TO THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF THE INTRO THAT WAS POSTED BY ITSELF, ALRIGHTY THEN

• Aw they’re setting up for Miriam’s party :D

• I almost thought Jake and Ellie were gonna get into another argument lmao. It’s nice to see them on good terms

• GABBY LOOKS SO HAPPY WITH THE PIÑATA I LOVE HER

• yoooo Ashley cameo :D

• OMG AIDEN’S HERE I LOVE HIM SMMMM

• “Aw, no James?” “He’s busy being a famous actor.” My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined-

• oh cool Lake’s here too. Congrats on getting a gf queen

• ngl I prefer Tom with a hoodie on. Anyways YEA MORE TOM & GABBY SCENES

• I still cannot get over the fact that Shawn and Alec have the same va lol

• I understand where Jake’s coming from tbh. I’d be pissed off if I had a sibling that wasn’t there when I needed him even though I’m an only child

• Aw Tom and Gabby are singing piggyback together in the car :D

• HELL YEA TOM’S GOING TO THERAPY

• “Yay! And you always have us to help you heal!” Gabby ily

• “Can you believe some people walk on the sidewalk? The audacity!” Lmao

• Jake and Shawn’s convo was rlly sweet :D I’m not gonna copy paste the whole thing cuz am lazy, but Shawn saying that their Grandma would be proud is making me sad :’)

• Event planning being Jake’s career is somewhat surprising to me. Wonder how twt’s thinking about it…

• AW TOM WENT BACK TO TIPISKAW TO GET THE HEART HE CARVED INTO THE CABINS THAT ADORABLE

• Gabby is truly the ideal homie

• “Between us, you’re my favourite Disventure Camp contestant!” Real take about Aiden right here /j

• NAH DID MIRIAM HAVE TO FAKE HAVING A HEART ATTACK AGAIN.

• “I couldn’t imagine a better man to be my brother’s other half!” I love Shawn being so acceptive of Tom :D

• Why did Tom have to get so defensive over Jake lmao. Did u rlly have to say that to his brother lol

• Annnnnd Gabbs broke the carved heart lol

• “It’s not the gift, it’s the gesture.” REAL

• YEAH ANOTHER KISS LETS GOOOO

• Oh damn, they’re… doing stuff (yeah I can’t get over that line from All Stars Ep19 lol)

• I’m getting too lazy to type stuff but that ending montage was rlly wholesome.

• AWWW TOM BROUGHT JAKE TO THE PLACED THEY HAD THEIR FIRST KISS THATS FUCKING WHOLESOME BRO

• I love seeing Gabby as Tom’s wingwoman. Queen shit right there

• JAKE GLUED THE CARVED HEART BACK TOGETHER THAT ADORABLEEEEE

• “Despite everything, we weathered the storm.” “And scars, inside and out. Makes it more beautiful.” I want to cry, but I’m in a public place rn

• “Anything big coming up?” “Well, I was thinking maybe… the next wedding I planned… was ours.” NO WAY. NO FUCKING WAY DID JAKE BASICALLY JUST PROPOSE TO TOM OMG I FUCKING WINNNN

• IT ENDS ON A SHOT OF THE CARVED HEART OH MY FUCKING GODAPXJDNIWIQQ

• OK OVERALL, GREAT EPISODE, 10/10, IM STILL KINDA SAD THAT JAMES DIDNT MAKE AN APPEARANCE BUT THAT PROPOSAL MADE UP FOR IT

• Bro im so hyped for Carnival of Chaos coming out by the end of this month. ALSO I WANT A SEASON TWO, PLEASE JARED I WANT TO SEE A DOUBLE DATE BETWEEN TOMJAKE AND JAIDEN-

[sonknuxadow]

okay big wall of some of my shadow generations thoughts . spoiler warning obviously

i will start by just saying that this game is soo good like in general. ive said before that i was initially very skeptical of this whole thing but very quickly changed my mind upon seeing the first trailer and im SO glad that it did turn out to be good. this feels like one of the first times in a really long time that theyve put actual care into shadows involvement in a story instead of just throwing him in something for five seconds because they know hes popular. the game IS a bit short but i was expecting that and its somewhat reasonable considering its technically only half the game. but what we did get was great. we are so back .

i love the gameplay i talked earlier about how i like that they put more effort into making shadow play differently from sonic by incorporating his chaos powers into his gameplay, but the doom powers are really cool also and were such a fun addition. ive always wished they would do more with shadow being part black arms but didnt expect it to ever come up again so everything about this is kinda surreal to me

i love love love the optional dialogue i went out of my way to make sure i didnt miss any of it and theres so many cute ones and i have to stop myself from mentioning specific ones on this post because if i do ill be going on forever

also the music was good Obviously thats a given with sonic games. but special shoutouts to the menu music i thought it was a cute detail that sonics side had a remix of it doesnt matter while shadows was a remix of throw it all away. and that all hail shadow remix for the final boss goes sooo hard i was honestly expecting them to use i am all of me but this is cool too

as far as criticisms and nitpicks go. uhhhhh . this isnt that big a deal but i do find it the tiniest bit disappointing that they didnt really leave anything a surprise in terms of the gameplay, if im remembering right they showed pretty much everything in the trailers except for the final boss but im sure everyone knew who that was going to be it was jut the specific form he took that was the surprise. but like i said its not that big a deal especially considering they didnt show much of the story in the trailers so it balances out in a way . also i didnt know what the best place to put this in would be but i just wanted to say i got so excited when i got to the final stage because radical highway is one of my favorite sonic levels . peace and love on planet earth

i also think chaos island was a weird choice for a stage because all the others are from games shadow is a main character in but he isnt in frontiers at all? maybe they didnt wanna repeat games and were running out of ideas so they just threw a frontiers stage in since it wouldnt have any representation otherwise. i dont know.

there is only one real "this sucks" thing for me and its rouge's voice acting. its soo terrible ive never liked her current voice but she sounded particularly bad here to the point where it was distracting..... when it comes to other voice actors who are one of my less liked voices for their character im at least able to say that theyre doing a good job or have improved a lot over the years even if theyre not my first pick. but i swear to god rouge has gotten worse

anyway . good game . the ending made me tear up a little. thumbs up emoji . will probably play sonics side at some point too but idk if ill do it today

[meetmyothersouls]

If your requests are open could I request a scenario where reader gets a bad grade on a final and is very sad because they worked really hard all term only to bomb the final exam 😢 ….asking for a friend lol 👀

Here ya go <3

Failure

Warnings: high school Timmy x first person reader, mentions of making out, failing a final, language, little bit of angst

I drove us back to my apartment, after school like I did every other day. Only this day, my jaw was tight and I white-knuckled the steering wheel. Being a grade ahead of Timothee, a year older and completely estranged from my parents, I got my own place my senior year at La Guardia. I could feel Timothee staring at me from the moment we got into my car, brewing a question, waiting for the right moment.

"Geez, y/n, I think if you grit your teeth any harder, they'll crack in half. What's going on?" Timothee finally asked.

"Nothing," I answered back too quickly.

A thick silence filled the car. Timothee drummed a beat with his fingertips on his knees and then sighed. "So, what'd you get on the chem exam?"

"I fucking failed it, okay!?" I yelled, just as I pulled into my designated parking space. "I failed it," I said quieter. I threw my seat belt off of me, the metal latch hitting the window as I trudged up to my apartment. I didn't wait for Timothee, knowing he'd follow me. I left the door open for him and laid face down on my futon I got on clearance at Target.

I heard my front door shut followed by the feeling of the futon dipping down under Timothee's weight. I groaned, as I let the tears I'd been holding back finally brim over my eyes and soak into the ugly brown fabric. Timothee slid his hand under my shirt and rubbed what I assumed were meant to be soothing circles on my lower back.

"So you failed it? Big deal, there's always the retake," he said softly.

I turned over, Timothee's hand staying put, sliding to my stomach as I now laid on my back. "Yeah, but I...ugh fuck, I don't fail! EVER! And we studied every night for like three weeks! What the fuck!"

"I mean...we weren't studying the entire time..." Timothee said, a smirk forming on his face.

"Shut up, Timmy!" I groaned, pulling a throw pillow over my face to cover my smile. I was supposed to me upset!

"If it makes you feel any better," Timothee said, "I failed too."

"Really?"

"Mhm."

"Like...failed failed or just kinda failed?"

"I wasn't aware there were levels," Timothee said, unzipping his backpack and pulling the crumpled-up paper out of the front pocket. How he managed to find anything in a backpack filled with various papers and materials from the entire course of the semester, I wasn't sure. "I got a 29. I'd say that's bottom of the totem pole."

"I got a 29 too," I said, feeling a little bit better that I had someone to commiserate with.

"The retakes next week, think we'll be able to bring it up to a D?" I asked.

"Yeah, if you can stop making out with me and actually study."

I threw my pillow at him, "Pretty sure you're the one that starts every make out, but okay."

"Am not!" Timothee said, already crawling over to me to start just that.

If passing meant not making out with Timothee...it probably wasn't going to happen.

Tags: @dayafied @soulofendlessbook @fashphotolife @scentedkittenperfection @weasleytwinscumslut @timotheel0ver @mxciscastleintheair @marvelmaniac2000 @lovelyrocker @divine-1 @love-poems-only @starberry-cake @inlovewithphantasy @alexagirlie @misswestfall @softhecreator @livresjaunes @timmymyluv @inannamoon @harrys-thick-thighs @s-we-e-t-t-ea @timolaurence @its-schmackin-dude @justagirlwhoneedshelp @kteezy997 @sufferingstarlight @xoxoloverb @tropicalrozmajzl @iloveneilperry @syirnge @patronsaintofthetwinks @roseboysareprettier @onlyenoughiamweird

[ofmermaidstories]

hi merms, i hope you’re doing great. i’m sorry if this is different from your usual asks but i wanted to ask you, since you are literally blog goals, but how can i be more like you and enjoy my own blog? i love how you’re so free in your own space and express yourself, and you’re just full of happiness and all the bright, good things. going to your blog always makes me smile. its like you spread joy and warmth so easily. is it weird i feel more at home with your blog 😭 i wish i could enjoy my blog too, but sometimes drama makes the experience un-fun, like mean anons, or worse, your own readers constantly putting you in weird competition with your own writer friends over things you and your friends never even noticed before. i know the easy answer is to just ignore the haters and enjoy writing, and i really love writing, but its hard sometimes. i wish i could make my blog feel as homey as yours. visiting your page is like comin home to fresh hot chocolate after a long day of work 💐 thats all luv, sending you lots of love always 🌸

oh anon. i’m sorry. 🥺 i am sitting with you and we will piece this out together though, okay? 🧩 it’s hard! i’ve actually been feeling kind of dejected, lately, like with tumblr in general and my usage of it—because i haven’t been using it like i used to! so i guess that’s the first thing: to figure out what you want out of it, and then figure out what it takes to make it happen. for me i enjoy this place most when i’m treating it like a scrapbook: quotes or pictures that inspire me, asks, things i doodle. the pros of that: you fill your space with stuff you love, or that means something to you! the cons: it can be a little isolating if the stuff you love, or the things that mean something to you, aren’t like… current writing or posting trends, lmao. but it all just depends on what you value! 🥺 i’m not a fast writer, and tend to favour long-term projects, so while it sometimes makes me sad when i fall out of the loop of things, ultimately i just accept (or try to) that that’s how i work in this space. 🥹 as mama cass said, sometimes you just gotta make your own kinda music.

drama makes everything boring! and tbh i think my biggest cheat with that is that i only follow a relatively small amount of x reader blogs. 🥹 that’s not intentional; i curate a pretty strict feed based on my other interests, though, so there ends up being a lot of competition for my attention. 🥺 the pros of this is that i tend to miss most discourse that happens (lmao). the con is that i tend to miss everything else, too, though. 🥹 you basically have to choose whichever bothers you less lmfaooo. and even then—drama or meanness or plain old weirdness will still find it’s way to you. 🥺 i think that’s just the unforch reality of being on social media. especially in a niche that’s so… driven by something as personal as literally self-inserting, and dependant on the validation of others. 🥺 i’m sorry people have made you feel like you’re in competition with your friends! it sucks, because i think we as writers like… live in our own heads, lmao. we know so much about the worlds and characters we’re trying to write. but people outside of our heads don’t—think the same way! 🥺 they will draw comparisons where maybe we don’t want them to. 🥺 i think that’s a natural response, tbh; especially if they love something, and see work with like, a similar theme or tropes, but despite it being a compliment it doesn’t always feel great. 🥹 i guess the only advice (and reminder, for myself) i can offer is that you and your friends aren’t in competition—but rather thrown into the same maze together. 🥺 the only way out is to hold hands to make sure none of you get lost, and walk through. 🥹

anon!!! 🥺 i hope you find a way to make your blog feel more homely. you’re always welcome here—the door’s always open for the sunlight and the bees—but i want you to feel like the important part of the neighbourhood you are! 🥺 and safe enough that you can leave your door open, too. 🪟🎐🌾

[ivynivekgames]

Here's something Sorely Kneaded :3c (Sorely Kneaded Update Announcement)

Heads up, this is gonna be a MEATY post! (This is making up for all the time of I've been so quiet).

It has been… checks watch okay, over a year since the original [猫はかわいい (kitties are cute)] demo dropped, wowza! Well, I got a couple of things I wanna mention and talk about, and about the future of this project (ALL OF WHICH ARE IMPORTANT)! I've been pretty quiet on saying anything update-wise, but there's a good reason for that… But first, some context!

Now, when I started work on this, I wasn't sure about what direction to take this. I just kinda winged it and hoped for the best, but as I was writing up ideas and where to take the project in the background--the scope has been getting bigger... And the original ideas I had for the time being just weren't holding up. My ability as a writer has majorly improved throughout this (2024) year (I applied myself, tee-hee).

On top of becoming a better writer and getting a more concrete vision of where to take the game, a new musician has joined in helping with the game's soundtrack (an aspect I was woefully fearful of). Their music will be replacing the old (though there may be a track or two that will be kept from the previous composer, seeing as they're essentially... Perfect). The new sound is a lot more fitting in terms of atmosphere and energy.

Art wise, it is still handled by me, but some of the workload is being taken care of by some good, talented friends that are willing to help make this project come to fruition, they too, have been gaining a better understanding of the artstyle that fits the game best. On my end, I've been getting even better at utilising the hard work that has been handed to me and having it make the most impact.

All things considered, I've realised that with so much improvement on the side of production, the earlier parts of the game would have to reflect my new standard going forward (namely The Void and Emerland). The original story is ill-fitting and its concepts too derivative (and anything original is ill-explored) and tone is mixed.

Hence, I am happy to the Sorely Kneaded update. A total reimagining of the CatJam's vertical slice. With half a year of development already, Sorely Kneaded will aim to show my vision and standard quality for the project going forward.

This update is not an earth shattering or thoroughly exhausting endeavour in the sense of scope, rather, it's a showcase of something much closer to what the final game will be. In the update you'll find:

Remastered graphics of assets that were originally sub-par in quality.

New soundtrack and sound design, more fitting for the game's vibes and vision.

New content, more secrets, etc.

A much more balanced gameplay experience, with more interesting dungeons to navigate and more focus on narrative decisions (though the game will still only have one ending).

Greater focus on characters and their interactions, this is a character-driven game, after all. ;)

And finally, a much more fleshed out story and lore, completely abandoning the original "Hell" related plot. Frankly, even the original game barely attached itself to Christian canon, so I feel this was the right choice.

My goal with this project has always been to make a fun and genuine experience that comes from the heart. I have a vision and ideas I want to show to anyone that's interested, and I couldn't bear the idea that I'd somehow deliver it in a shoddy state.

I want to direct you all away from hell, and welcome all of you to the World of Mu, a place where magic flows like air and one only truly dies when their soul fades...

The update will drop when it's done, currently: The Void is in a near-complete state and Emerland will begin development shortly. I will make a follow-up announcement for when it's released, beyond that--hold tight!

Potential questions:

Q: How big will this update be? A: It will likely be bigger than the original demo, I project about 3~ish hours out of it on an average playthrough (the early parts are fairly story heavy).

Q: How will the new music fare compared to the original? A: The new music will be rad! Er... I mean, it's gonna be AWESOM- okay no. It will service the game's atmosphere and tone much better. You'll just have to like, listen, dude.

Q: How good will the new graphics be, compared to the original? A: It's nothing earth shattering, the art will merely be "spruced up" since I want the graphics to maintain a "soulful" look. I have a vision... Q: Any content being removed? A: Yes. As previously said, all the music will be getting replaced, along with the old sound effects. Story elements will be cut in favour of new ones. You may have liked some old concepts or ideas, but I promise that what's new will more than make up for that!

Q: Will the old [Kitties are Cute] save file work with Sorely Kneaded? A: 99% sure it will not (can never be too sure), disregarding that. I put so much effort into making this new stuff, you GOTTA play it, dude!

Q: What will happen to the old demo? A: It'll be left on the page, available for download. I think it's good to leave it archived as a way to show how far the project has come.

PS: The page will be update when the update is out.

Credits:

Director, Writer, Designer, Programmer: Ivy Nivek

Music and Sound Design: @witchscadence, Ivy Nivek

Art: Guck, Split, Spoop, Ivy Nivek

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[trainingdummyrabbit]

okkkk its been a day or two, gonna talk abt funy warptrain event ^_^ i didnt think i would but ihave thoughts and im chatty. notmany, but what ever. my house. yipy ^_^

honestly? wholly neutral abt this one. it sure was an event ! woah.

more genuinely, i mostly just think it couldve taken its environment+happenstance and made it hit harder. isuppose its just a side effect of Already Knowing, both in-universe and out, but the whole Everything felt very secondary to the character's.. characters. which isnt bad! its just specifically how it was Executed that kinda gets me about it.

specifically, in that it feels like its going to be much more important than it actually ended up presenting itself. nuance nuance, side chapter event, etc etc but even Still. what we got from the characters felt very very Mild, even from side-stuff pov. (again nuance, im not fully caught up, im simply talking about how i feel.) which may be a side effect of riding off th coattails of tkt wrt rodya having... All That. it felt like all that stuff w faust just Happened, and well. thats it! the most we got from it was dante+faust's brief dynamic, and yisang's comment towards the end. which was sweet and i liked a lot! i just wish they pushed the wound a little harder. juuust a little. give us (read: them) something to think about, rather than hint and drop.

ithink my main problem with the writing, specifically character writing, is how... sitcom-ish it ended up feeling, for lack of a better term. it felt very blatant in its winkwink nudge kind of execution of dialogue, specifically with the sinners re: faust's de-faust-ening. like its not Awful, but it did kinda take me out of it a bit. (though they didnt push that execution of it as far as they couldve, which i Am thankful for)

it Is very much a kind of hinty setup deal, but man. really really light on that one. the reconnection on mephi Was necessary plotwise, but i wont say i didnt feel at least a Little disappointed. let them struggle!!

(i think what i was more hoping for was exemplifying more strongly on the "This Is Objectively A Pressing Problem, But One We Cant Solve Just Yet" front. the 'we rely on Faust too much' was a little dip into it, but again, very light. i want to see them Objectively Kind Of Fuck Up about it. Really press those implications to give us something to be worried about when we Do address faust proper. yknow?)

and, admittedly, th thing that bothered me most was the keycard melting. that was the whole Ordeal! the pressure all kinda hinged on that being an Important Item! but then they just kind of all.. "oh no the keycard :( well, time to get on mephi its all cool ^_^" like... yall couldve done that th whole time? it really defangs the entire situation. both in-text and kind of retroactively. (which is something i could chatter on about, but i dont think id do it well, so i wont.)

like yeah, silly silly, but again. it does kinda make the tone go all over the place in a way that felt really jarring to me.

(also this is very very blatantly my own Immense Bias but its still my house; there is inevitably going to be a Lot of faust-angela comparisons/etc coming i can feel it in my Bones and iam inevitably going to be very Very bitchy about it. sorry about this in advance, but ive already said my piece re: rodya/ishy's realization egos and the same sentiment applies here. i am going to be Immensely picky about it and id apologize but you all know what im about. thats all.)

im wholly indifferent but Mildly Fond of team bloodfiend just on principle of Theyre Fun And Interesting. in the way where i wish we could delve into the implications of their dynamic (them making a fun little home on th warp trains is interesting!!!) but th nature of th story means we wont be able t see it. sad :( cmooon theyre just little guys cmon be niceys to them come onnnnn.

what Really shone this chapter for me though, surprise surprise, was donqui. she was FANTASTIC this event and its everything i couldve ever asked for, even with the bias aside. mmmmostly aside. i am easy to please on that front. i loved getting to see her be excited and Important to the group and not just brushed aside re: the beginning!! her and meur getting to genuinely just be silly!! (this one Is my bias speaking but also heath + don friendship win. in my heart.) also the bit where she gets to just... talk herself up in front of th kid. she was genuinely so happy and proud! it lets her Actually shine without dimming it with the "ah there goes donqui again, dont mind her" thing. which is intrinsic to her character, and i wont say is strictly bad, but im glad to see just Her. (Especially shoutout to the "she hesitated till the last second attacking the passengers" thing, that was a great detail for both her And faust)

but my Favorite thing by Far was the gap between the end of the bossfight and What Happened On Mephi. girl KILLING!!! girl MAIMING!!! getting to see her really push at her values and show off that part of her was Fantastic. the sheer stubborn vitriol was Excellent; and her standing by her own values even Past her own physical limits is Such a great way to exemplify that character trait. and most importantly, her direct decision to pretty much just ignore the direction to stay behind following her own morals was!! fantastic fantastic. Deeply delighted when she entered the scene again on mephi. i love seeing her be silly and excited. but what i love more is seeing that part of her. i want to see her be a Fucking Problem! a Serious Fucking Problem! she deserves it.

i cant... really say much on the uh, reveal at the end though. i probably wont, either! that'll have t be for the next canto. but im holding. im waiting. that is probably one of the funniest things they couldve pulled and i so desperately want to see what the fuck theyre going to do with it. let them cook or whatever. absolutely Not the direction i thought they were gonna focus on, but huh. Huh! huh. ok girl!!

. anyway all in all,

[kiawren]

Hi... Im no legitimate poet or anything...Was listening to these deft.ones songs and started writing something about kiawren on the bus home

This is so self indulgent I'm sorry.. idk if you can understand my abstract writing and it's okay if you don't 😭😭

For anyone that bothers... I'll try to explain the poem but you can interpret it how you'd like :))

These are some of the lyrics inspiring it (romantic dreams, diamond eyes, sextape)

The title—I was thinking that the only constant of his between real life and my self insert world is his name, I can say it here just the same as I can there, everything else about him otherwise isn't real.. Hence the two realms, and the inspiration from the lyric "I'm hypnotized by your name" (more to add to this towards the end of the poem!)

The Vermillion bird (basically a phoenix) is from Chinese myth, I think it represents both of us becuz fire and bird.

'Take me one more time/Take me one last wave/Take me one last ride' is from Sextape, I heard it as I started typing the poem, so I just added it in hehhee .... for 'wave', I often think about us sitting in Wela volcano park overlooking the ocean together. It's vast and beautiful. For 'ride', I also like to imagine us going for rides on char.izard together.

'rilles' are from volcanic flows on the moon, with i learnt when Googling while writing this. Actually I thought they were for normal volcanoes too, before I googled again when typing this, well they're only on the moon, lol that gives another meaning (kiawren sun/moon dynamic loll). The rilles here are in my veins cuz he just has that impact on me☺️

There's stuff like 'burning a visage on skin', 'place my tongue where you blaze' 'bleed the sea whole' cuz that's what people would typically do for their lovers you know. (/sarcasm) I just mean I would go to such lengths for him.

Synonyms of red—cherry, ruby, cardinal, in a way those lines are getting more intense.. The plush of youth (our young love and its dreaminess) and the clush of rubies, then cardinal in my head also alludes biblically like 'cardinal sin' that's why I wrote 'cardinal hell', the red becomes so red! And yes more on the hell later.

Clush is also a song by Isles & Glaciers that makes me think of kiawren so I added that word :)

'rose-cauterized eyes' — I like the phrase 'rose-tinted eyes', took a different way here with the cauterization, something more graphic like those other stuff I had up there, I feel like if you'd cauterize eyes you'd see through foggy, patched-over, maybe painful vision. But if you cauterize with roses... There's also layer of romanticism.

'meteors-heavy stubborn blue sky'... When I listen to 'diamonds reign across the sky' in the song diamond eyes I think is us watching miniors together (a poke.mon that's basically a meteor). Hmm, it's hard to explain it, but the red-rose overworld downturning into stubborn blue sky kinda has the feeling of the worlds and skies turning and colliding, and the red/blue kiawren you know... like a merger, something dynamic and disorienting... Anyway it kinda leads into the last part too!!!

'My heart' —yes it's both my literal heart going up in flames when I love him and also him, becuz this is also my term of endearment for him. And he burns in his passion. He burns brighter than I ever can.

Ok last part that Im excited to type out

While a mythical being all proud and overbearing yet unhelpful in the alluded Nirvana, and 'romantic' people look up to this fictional mythical heaven-ruler (they're idealistic hence the word romantic, also that this 'romance' is more insincere),,,,,,

I have independently travelled inside the Earth to unite with my Kiawe!!!!! Orpheus and Eurydice!!!!!!!! I am Orpheus for real.....i'd cave so hard.

Last two lines are interesting becuz I 'see my baby', but Orpheus doesn't get to see Eurydice..... Meanwhile don't 'turn back to a blue sky', I reject the reality of a blue sky, like how the red overworld downturns into it earlier, for the fantasy of a red realm with my loveeee... Instead of not being able to turn to 'Eurydice' which here is Kiawe!!!!!, I *can* see him!!!! instead I do not face a reality, and I succeed in uniting with him away from it.

Also I've been wanting include the Vermillion bird in writing for kiawren. Didn't expect to be hating on it in the poem LOL