#so it deserves its place
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Rules: in a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you.
tagged by @sparrowmoth 🌸
this is in no particular order either
the little prince by antoine de saint-exupéry
mio my mio by astrid lindgren
the song of achilles by madeline miller
the secret history by donna tartt
the percy jackson series by rick riordan
night on the galactic railroad by miyazawa kenji
six of crows duology by leigh bardugo
heaven official’s blessing by mo xiang tong xiu
the raven and the reindeer by ursula vernon
pandora hearts by mochizuki jun
#yes i am aware that pandora hearts is manga but no other story has given me quite as much emotional damage and altered my brain chemistry#so it deserves its place#parts of this might look childish i don’t know but all of these left their mark on me#and are the books i will keep thinking back to no matter how much time passes#and reread#my brain is basically#part childhood nostalgia part trauma part fantasy part gay#tag game
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maknae line + gestures of love 🫰🏼💋🫶🏼🌹🤟🏼 happy birthday @jkvjimin! ♡
#jungkook#jungkook*#tae#taehyung*#jimin#jimin*#btsedit#btsgif#dailybts#userpat#underbetelgeuse#trackofthesoul#usersevn#annietrack#usersky#usersan#usermaggie#*gifs#comp#happy birthday darling pat!!!#just a reminder that me and vminkook love you!#i hope you have the best day full of even more love than this bc you deserve it#you put so much of it out into the world yourself that it should only ever come back to you tenfold#i actually made something kinda cohesive?! at least in the first half...feels like it loses its steam a bit after the 10th gif lol#this was only supposed to be 12 gifs but i had more time to keep it going so it ended up being 18 whoops#this is scheduled so i hope it's posting at the proper time (zone ahem)#ALSO at first i arranged this in their age order but i switched jimin and jk's place so it would spell out jk + v + jimin like your url :)#i hope you like this! i'm kinda jealous even tho i made it lol it's quite pretty if i do say so myself#yes i put a heart overlay on the gifs against a white bg to keep the color scheme going..idk i TRIED#p.s. to anyone seeing this and thinking you can't rb it bc it's dedicated to pat for her bday....WRONG! PLEASE REBLOG IT IF YOU LIKE IT! ty
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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special operatives (silly interaction beneath read more)
[ID: Digital Art in color of Trigun Maximum, characters included are Wolfwood, Elendira, and Legato in a casual meeting situation. The piece consists of orangey yellow lighting and purple shadows. Wolfwood sits on the left side, facing Elendira who’s on the right. He’s seated on a plain wooden chair with one knee up and he’s holding the strap to his Punisher in his left hand while his right sits against his thigh, He has an irritated expression as he speaks to Elendira. Elendira is sitting in a fancier seat, her right arm rests against Wolfwood’s propped up knee, her left hand holds her suitcase. She’s sitting cross legged with an amused expression. Legato can be seen in the back at the center of the image in his mobile body case, one of his eyes shown to be glaring at Wolfwood. End ID]
[ID: Sketch, uncolored comic. Elendira says to Wolfwood, “I’m not telling you to dedicate yourself to him, but just accept the situation at hand. We could get along better if we were on the same page.” Wolfwood responds, “Don’t peg me me for an optimist. I’m not dumb. But, I’m also not going to just live in resignation. Plus, I don’t have any interest in getting along with ya.” Elendira coos, “Aw, you sure? I have a wonderful shoulder to cry on when the weak people you’re trying to protect eventually dies in the coming months. Though, I guess it’s fine. Someone like you might just die before then anyway...” She snickers in her hand while Wolfwood is speechless and just glares. Legato is faintly drawn in the back, glaring at Wolfwood, muttering “worthless” repetitively. End ID]
#trigun#trigun maximum#nicholas d wolfwood#elendira the crimsonnail#legato bluesummers#YES they were together in scene canonically for only 1 Measly chapter. Yes legato dipped like 2 seconds later but listen#trigun has such a fun cast and such a vague sense of time that i love to just throw in whatever Chances of the gung hos meeting outside of#canonic time... i mentioned before but i do think ww just runs into them on occasion from town to town#this illust would have to take place after the remembrance of july though ofc since that was when ww first saw elendira... which is still#the funniest ww ever bc he was so Shocked. LIKE AGHAST... BC IT WAS ELENDIRA THE CRIMSONAIL. he was starstruckk it was so cute#elendira of all people deserve that kind of reaction though im glad that they hyped it up with ww of all people. bc its like wow even ww is#kind of intimidated! even though he gained his grips like 5 seconds later to talk back to her. which is why i think theyd have a funny#dynamic. and legato is just there. he does not care about them but he also hates them and it's fun to think about how that'd extend to#wolfwood after knives specifically left the gung hos up to him and then explicitly didnt say shit after giving ww a special little mission#it also is just like. legato is pretty passive in trimax until someone is actively betraying knives or when its vash#and ww also does not give a shit about legato bc he also is like. vaguely aware he'd lose in a fight. so all i make them do is stare at each#other passive aggressively. TRISTAMP on the otherhand is ridiculously insane for making legato genuinely hold enough aggression towards ww#to literally activate his character arc in the season sgmkdsgm cannot wait for final phase where legato not only deeply detest vash but also#bears a similar aggression towards ww. actually im not sure whether i should be Excited for that or not but it would be an interesting#ruporas art
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the loved and the unwanted
#my art#mcyt#qsmp#roier is in no place to take care of pepito and its killing me#pepito deserves so much better but you know what so does his dad#qsmp pepito#pepito fanart#qsmp sunny#sunnysideup#qsmp fanart
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cold case rewatch (16/∞)
I came up from the dark without you and every day has been in shadow. I have begged the tide to wash away my sin and take me to you in the dark but every day I surface again.
2.22 - 'Best Friends'
#cold case#coldcaseedit#crimeshowsource#tessa thompson#samantha streets#piper laurie#mine#*ccr#you had to be there (being me at 12 watching this)#ive been randomly quoting that poem for over a decade its that deep. for me!#this is. so long but idc its what they deserve#the colouring is all over the place but i couldnt manage better
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Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep - A Fragmentary Passage - Main Road
#kingdom hearts 0.2 birth by sleep a fragmentary passage#kh0.2#main road#castle of dreams#realm of darkness#scenery#my gif#i suppose this area is still within the same world as my last set but i felt it deserved its own post#because it's so beautiful here i love the atmosphere#some areas are so lush with pretty flowers and fireflies and a few lanterns scattered around that make the place feel lived in#while other areas are covered in an eerie fog with distorted structures and an uncanny sky shimmering above#i spent... a very long time staring at all of the foliage. nomura can you put a first person view camera back into these games please#should we question why the people who live in these worlds aren't sent to the realm of darkness but the fireflies are?#what'd they do to deserve that
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the two men slow danced, their steps synchronized, hands gently gripping onto one another. the last time they'd done this had been amongst the chaos of the clone wars.. one of their more, favourable missions.
obi-wan, softly: you still remember the steps,
cody: muscle memory, i suppose.
obi-wan, chuckling softly: you always were a quick learner, dear. although.. you seemed certain you'd be stepping on my toes.
cody, raising his head just enough to press their foreheads together, staying quiet for a moment before answering: i did step on them.
obi-wan: once.
cody: yes.
obi-wan, turning his head just enough to press a soft kiss to the other man's cheek: you fussed, despite my forgiving you.
cody: mmf.. there was no ( fussing. )
obi-wan, fondly as he pressed their foreheads back together: of course not, darling. of course not.
#commander cody#star wars the clone wars#obi wan kenobi#codywan#obi wan x cody#incorrect quotes#codywan incorrect quotes#post order 66#desert husbands#codywan dancing#i love them so much#im so tired but they deserved something soft#they have a little place on tatooine– the twins are sleeping and theyre just reminiscing. its been a long day. they'll cuddle later.#smthn smthn codywan
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Mesmer Jr and Medicine Pocket having beef in official arts collection (as of 1 May 2024). I hope they keep beefing for all of eternity.
#they’re like 210 and 37 to me#Mesmer Jr#Medicine Pocket#she deserves more content!!! mesmer jr in xtreme talent when#she is so :/ :| :< :[ vibes#i think they could be frenemies despite mesmer jr being a human enjoyer and medpoc being somewhat the opposite#two different flavors of gifted kid/prodigy burnout coming from different places with so much pressure on their back despite their age#do you get it#they would still beef tho#reverse 1999#mochagaming#I care mesmer very much#manifesting mesmer skin on 2.0 or 2.1 🕯️#she deserves better from bluepoch and the fandom i feel kinda bad for not drawing her more often#(her design is hard to get right)#in a way this collection also works as art reference#SORRY FOR MY MESMER RAMBLING#BUT I DO YAP ABOUT HER A LOT OUTSIDE TUMBLR AND ITS LEAKING THRU
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the tadpole/brain damage thing. its like. chekovs gun to me. obviously theres very little mechanical support ingame for having a disabling injury, aside from maybe an optional voluntary decision to drop the INT score, but similarly to choosing to write intention into the lack of dark urge Lore responses from the party, i just like to make mountains out of molehills and force game mechanics into In Universe Character Problems
like when dirge repeatedly mentions that he thinks the tadpole is doing something beneficial for him, that its helping him, it isnt JUST the power-hungry psionic ambition in him. its a parasite, that needs a host. it needs a LIVING host, or its own chances of survival plummet. and dirge gets tadpoled right after a life threatening injury to the tadpoles preferred habitat. neither of them want to die!! dirges body tries to recover, but cant in part BECAUSE of the tadpole (the netherese stasis magic rejecting outside influence and binding it to its host, having an unejectable foreign object in the injury site, etc), but its not like the tadpole WANTS its host to have a life altering injury
its not like its malicious (except when it comes to Hive Activity, and then it can be a right bastard), it just cant live any other way. it cant help what it is. halsin calls the illithid life cycle abberant and unnatural, but brood parasitism exists throughout the natural kingdom. is the wasp egg evil for having been laid in a caterpillar?
its first moments of life outside the brine pool, and its new home, its new life, its host, its caregiver, its food supply, is bleeding and dying and falling apart and trying to fix itself but cant and its trying to heal around you but it cant but if it doesnt do anything youll both die, so this larva, this tiny worm of psionic potential and instinct, does what it can. holds its host together with whatever force it can muster, soft gelatinous body (perfect for compreesing flat and squeezing through small orifice openings) keratinizing outside the acidic environment of the brine, its four oral tentacles (its only source of motion and movement when so young and soft, dragging itself along as best it can) made for interweaving with dense synapse clusters to passively absorb the psionic imprint of its host, now desperately intwined with bleeding meat just to try and hold it all together. driven by survival instict and a vessel of psychic potential, forced into passivity by the commands of the Elder, further forced by circumstance to leverage all its great gifts to keep its host standing long enough to eventually eat
my thought is that the reason why dirge still gets the cutscene of the emperor tadpoling him at the beginning of the game, is that the original tadpole orin forced on him is just so weakened and exhausted by months of effort trying to keep him alive through kressas experiments and meddling, that the emperor, currently in thrall to the absolute, feels the need to replace it with a fresher healthier specimen, which then cannibalizes and absorbs the previous one, and then just has to go back to doing the same shit as the last one.
i think that dirges tadpole isnt as twitchy or squirmy as the others because of it. that when omeluum gives him a psychic MRI, the tadpole is just burrowed down and its tendrils stretched like a dense net throughout dirges brain tissue, only moving or writhing occasionally but definitely not as mobile as usual, its web of tendrils especially twisted near dense scar tissue at the back of his head. this worm is already so fucking weird and the circumstances for this mind flayer MRI have already introduced a bajillion different variables that need accounting for, that i dont think omeluum immediately groks the specifics of whats going on but CAN peg the "you have brain damage and your worm is fucking Weird" situation fairly easily. but i dont think it gets enough time in dirges head to get a full understanding of what the tadpole is doing FOR him
cuz like. imo its definitely objectively helping. its a psychic information bank specifically designed to interface with a human brain. the reason why dirge isnt experiencing too many of the side effects of brain damage is because the parasite is doing its best to mitigate them. memory issues, brain fog, disorientation and balancing issues, theyd all be significantly worse without the parasite. when he brings up how he feels its helping him, objectively hes right and its not even the kickass psychic powers hes right about.
like it doesnt cure EVERYTHING, he has chronic migraines that are sensitive to light, and before he asks halsin to make medicine, he starts every morning puking his guts out when the morning sun makes him so nauseous he cant hold dinner down. even without the Urge Nightmares, he has insomnia and just cant meaningfully sleep. but keeping track of what day it is, remembering what happened a few hours ago or the other day, standing up from a sitting position and not immediately wobbling and/or collapsing, retaining his old muscle memory. all shit the parasite is helping with
which is why i cant help but fixate on those moments immediately after defeating the absolute. like oh thats juicy
#bg3 durge#bg3#bg3 dark urge#bg3 the dark urge#durge#the dark urge#long post#dirgecore#dirgeposting#god. visibility tags DONE time for tag RAMBLES#anyways permanently disabled dirge my BELOVEDDDDDD#also makes mintharas hypocricsy more enjoyable. because like i feel like she places a lot of value in effort and ability#so when someone is disabled i feel like she interprets that as a weakness of will to not find a way to thrive or persevere regardless#but just straight up makes an exception in that logic for dirge#because she KNOWS him and knows WHY hes disabled and why there isnt much to be done for it.#so its not his fault and he does enough and he shouldnt blame himself. everyone ELSE tho#shes very much a ''i wouldnt let it stop me'' kind of person. except when it very much does stop dirge but its fine cuz hes her slayer#she does this logical leap for things a lot. like when shes fond of someone or something she suspends a lot of her more critical beliefs#wizards are stupid and blow themselves up. except for you 💜 if ur dumb enough to get betrayed u probably deserved it. except for karlach 💜#if you dont push through ur injuries ur lowkey bitchmade. except for MY special little guy 💜💜💜#nuanced evil lovergirl my FAAAAAAAVE
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dont normally post about drama but this seems relevant:
im seeing a lot of people jump to "james somerton was never good anyways" in retaliation for the hbomb expose, but there's a really fine line to tread there before you get into stepping on the toes of the people he stole from, you know?
some of his videos and analysis did seem genuinely intelligent, thoughtful, insightful, and well-written. yeah, it turns out those are the result of him stealing from other people. but that doesnt mean the original writers WEREN'T intelligent, thoughtful, insightful and good writers. he had plenty of garbage opinions interspersed throughout, but the reason many people (myself included) were suckered in by him is that the queer creators he stole from DID have really important and interesting analysis. the parts of his videos that were good were stolen, but by discounting his essays entirely we're throwing the baby out with the bathwater and insisting those he stole from didn't have anything important to say.
the parts he himself supplied were trash, but he stole the work of some genuinely brilliant and insightful writers and passed it off as his own- and that writing still exists and is still brilliant and insightful; we just know now who was actually responsible for it and who to thank for that work
lets just be careful when we smugly proclaim that we always hated everything he had to say- because a lot of the words we're discounting were never his to begin with, and the last thing those authors need is to have their work trash talked because it ended up in the mouth of someone dishonest
#james somerton#hbomberguy#im just saying like#i liked a lot of points he made in his videos because it turns out he was never the one who made those points#now i can go seek out the original authors and Actually read the work that intrigued me in the first place#they DO deserve credit for their writing!#saying everything he ever made was garbage and nothing he said was worthwhile is such a disservice to those authors#they DID do really brilliant work#and then it was stolen and passed off as his#but their work still stands on its own merits- even more so now that i know#that much of the stuff i Disagreed with was his own opinions or tweaks and that the original work#is not bogged down with his bullshit#and can read it as originally intended#i think admitting that the writers he stole from Are really genuinely good writers and that the opinions he stole from them ARE compelling#is the least we can do to ensure that the authors don't feel like their work is irrevocably taken and tainted
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its interesting to me when people write lily as being fragile and naive and weak to blood/violence when she literally helped defend two vampires who were bleeding to death from cat tribe members. hello? and she wields a greatsword? HELLO???
#wwaffles bein' an idiot#wwaffles reads lch#i'll be honest out of all of the henituses she's my favorite#out of literally everyone she was kind of the first to jump at interacting with cale#(even though it was asking for a souvenir)#(she's also in an interesting spot where she is actually blood related to ((og))cale so she probably had like#more curiosity about him than the other two did)#(lil bro over there worrying about his place in the family and what he deserves meanwhile she's like. hey thats my orabeoni :3)#also its probably just because im dumb and the rest of the family is all about politics and territory management#god im glad SOMEONE in this family is normal (combat-oriented)
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milk found a similar friend!
#jiang cheng#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#lan wanyin#sect swap au#i had to do it#he matches his gege lxc#lxc deserves cinnammo but its whatever#everyone elses looked nice but yk who is so out of place fr? lsz#like really? lsz and mymelo? kuromi and jc makes 110% sense but srsly? what kind of random pairing is that#id prefer it if jyl got mymelo and lsz got milk#then the pairing of kuromi & mymelo and jc & jyl would actually make sense#but anyways#milk is free real estate#hes lwy's now#canon jc
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somewhat kicking a bees nest here, but hear me out-
"homemade and handcrafted goods should cost hundreds and even thousands of dollars" is why attaching a monetary value to esoteric concepts like "time" and "skill" (and, you know, "a human being") is a bad system.
now, before the pitchforks come out, i am not bitching because i want a handcrafted quilt for $20. i do recognize that it would be unbelievably unfair to the quilter. but like...doesn't that sound obscene? that we live in a system where things that used to be pretty mundane are now only available to the upper class, or the creator just fucking dies? where in order for someone to make anything artistic, they need to be independently wealthy or ONLY cater to wealthy people?
again, i am not suggesting that artists should sell me their shit at a horrific loss. im not really suggesting any solution at all here, we're between a bit of a rock and a hard place. but it feels really inherently fucked up to me that the only options are "Artists taken advantage of" and "only rich people get art."
anyways, UBI huh
#like i see these arguments about rising videogame and movie and tv costs as well#and like. yes! i do think those artists deserve a living wage!#but also its grotesque that that means only rich people have access to art#a ubi wouldnt solve EVERYTHING but it sure would make literally everything easier you know?#i hate the idea of art as career#not because i dont think its important#but because i feel like its TOO important to attach to that fucking carrot/stick you know?#whoever controls the money can control the art and that's real stupid. even if it IS how its always been.#but taking it further than that. i guess i hate 'career' meaning 'reason you get to live' in the FIRST place#so i dont hate artists that make it their career. that's fine.#but i think a society that forces you to attach a dollar value to everything you care about in order to live is very sick
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I try so hard to be nice. Seeing spamton so distressed makes me feel awful. I wanna reach through his screen, give him a hug and tell him it’ll be okay. But I’m nothing but a letter to him. Words on a screen he can easily ignore.
I want him to be happy, I want to whisk away every single bad ask and wrap spamton up in a blanket and give him the warmth and love he deserves. I really, really wish I could.
I suppose for now sending this will do. Thank you for the amazing stories, bu ❤️🩹 you’ve genuinely broken my heart for this poor man, I cannot wait to see more
But he hasn't. He doesn't ignore what you guys say. He really really cares about what you say, in fact. Easily ignorable, but he is paying attention. Anyways, thanks :-)
#Well#besides on purpose that one time but you deserved that then.#heres your little treat#drawing him just. takin a nap. is one of my favorites#tbh. Its just so like...#idk.. nice? peaceful? drawing him relaxed and getting his beauty sleep#catching those Zs#he deserves a little nap#ive been restraining myself from doing it more often in ygm i think its only really been twice#i count it as 1 1/2 because one was a blip#uhm.#but theres also other reasons.#bwomp.#sighhhh#nooo whaat this wasnt an excuse to draw him sleeping cause you said that whaaat#thyanks guys btw#it really means a lot to ME that you care about him so much#WAAGHHHH its SO sweet#yess king naptime#i really really wish you could comfort him too. i wish you could give him a hug or give him something too.#I really do.#He needs it.. but i have my reasons.#one of them being i dont want to draw some shitass weird anon they;d look so out of place
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spicy take incoming but i kinda wish ppl werent so desperately attached to and protective of this moniker of Great Big Brother 100% Perfect So True And Real when it comes to childe bc honestly. he really isnt (perfect or even that good at times) and to me acknowledging the ways both he and his family (for enabling him) are in some ways kinda just. doing teucer incredibly dirty in the long term but only with the best of intentions in the short term is so much more interesting than just pretending hes a flawless brother?? like it only adds to the drama and irony of it all man like theyre rly so dysfunctional as a family unit its great. even if hoyos likely never exploring that shit in its true depth it still lives rent free in my head for sure lol
like. you rly dont have to turn ajax into some sort of unfeeling uncaring monster of a shit brother to acknowledge that he does, in fact, repeatedly make incredibly reckless and selfish choices during his SQ with teucer and in general by choosing to obstruct the truth of who he is from lil bro so completely?
like this stuff can be nuanced and coexist with his absolutely 100% genuine commitment to protecting teucers bubble of a worldview (and w the theme of childlike dreams and wishes being so prevalent in general who knows what could be cooking w that one in particular) and his loyalty and love for his family without just having to whitewash the dumb shit he does lmao
like just bc hes capable of and willing to face the potentially grave repercussions of absolute bangers (🙄🙄) like teaching an actual fucking child to consider ruin machines fun besties and 100% insta ready to fuck himself up by protecting teucer at the cost of aggravating his still-unhealed injuries from the liyue AQ when dottores abandoned lab turns out to be more lively than expected doesnt. make that choice not a very irresponsible one yall im begging 💀
like. hes the adult here . the entire situation unfolding as dangerously as it does in the factory is Absolutely all on HIM for not being able and/or willing to disappoint teucer by just . Doing the mature thing and sending him away to safety because HES gotten too attached to this idea of being his lil siblings' loyal knight and perfect brother that Always finds a way to surpass the expectations no matter the cost its a role HE wants to keep playing despite the risk
like its So obviously a pride thing for him too and thats so fucking interesting because Of how flawed and questionable the logic is!! like yes he truly cares about teucer and ensuring he has a great unforgettable time during this impromptu escapade in liyue like thats not up to debate but the point im trying to make is that the choices he makes are Still very much intertwined with his ego and overconfidence and not really based all that much on Whats Actually The Best Approach Here. he improvises a way to give teucer the best mr cyclops outing he has ever seen bc HE wants to be the one offering him that experience and ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew and he can only blame himself for that one and This Isnt Fucking Sustainable
like i dont think that makes him evil but i do think it showcases his arrogance and flaws in a very concrete way and is a part of why calling him a perfect brother or at least one without an asterix just. rubs me off wrong lmao
like idk feel free to keep calling him that if its important to u and all if u want idc (and i do to some extent get why this defensive narrative of insisting hes great no issues at all emerged bc i remember 1.1 some ppl acting like hes childcare satan for how he treats teucer lol) but. at least like . Be willing to chip in to fund the therapy teucers going to need for those lifelong trust issues in the future man 💀
Bc Thats The Other Thing. now tonia and anthon i dont consider a part of this bc at least they Know hes in the fatui and hiding the gory details of ur harbinger job from ur baby sibs is like. fair enough and reasonable. but. crafting an Entire different AU version of yourself and feeding it to your baby brother as what constitutes actual reality surely is a choice of all times like ajax ily but genuinely . What the fuck if you were real id throttle you
AND HIS FAMILY ENABLING IT THE ENTIRE TIME ITS CRAZY LIKE. As a person with multiple siblings both older n younger with some similar age gap cohorts involved. God id snitch so fucking fast i dont think ppl rly stop and think much abt how objectively horrifying this shit is from teucers long term pov 😭 in the best way obviously given its fiction like its so scrumptiously awful and dysfunctional .
(& just in general man im just so obsessed with the way ajax 14 basically broke the eggshell of his past life and emerged to rise towards his destiny drowned in the guts and gore of the place and people and community he once called home unconditionally. Bro he fucked that town UP and now his family relations will never ever be the same its so fucking Delicious. those 3 days missing and what followed are just Actually a literal fucking horror movie when you stop blindly stanning our ginger menace, forget ajax' side and take the pov of his family and morepesok in general Why Are People Not Talking About This)
like. its not that i dont understand Why this is sth childe ended up doing as i said Thats The Point. its human. teucer is the only one in the family who wasnt there during that fateful 3 days/months . Like yea anthon and tonia were prolly sheltered from most of the carnage back then too but they still Know where he was sent when he became literally uncontrollable and almost killed the neighbors (everybody & their mom loves demonizing his parents as if his demon spawn ass left them a fucking choice JFEJSJSJSKDKS) . like its at least Known.
but then theres teucer.
And like. teucers the Only one with whom ajax can even pretend to have that delusion (ha) of normalcy and a family that hasnt seen him gaze into the abyss and stare back bloodied and grinning ear to ear . like. hes the only shot childe can have at even playacting some crude imitation of normalcy before Everything and even That comes with an expiration date hes fully aware of. so theres just lies after lies after lies and the fact that even his family just. if not actively partaking in the charade then at least silently allows the entirety of it to happen to teucer whos the Only fucking one out of the loop is just..... dude its not fair on him At All
Misleading teucer THIS much is just. its fucking horrible man but i GET it. thats why its so delicious man i GET it but god its just . imagine being teucer in this situation.... thats his entire fucking World shattered once the truth comes out. Everyone close to him has been lying to him his entire time. They all knew and they let him be misled. Like sure he might be happier Now with ajax dutifully protecting that childhood dream of his but after that. Just. sit on this for a bit. after everything do we Really think teucers just going to understand why it came to be and see it as worth it???? Will he really????
yet at the same time as awfully cruel it all is its just So human!!!!! Its so human of both ajax and his family to use the innocence of the only child that was spared the aftermath of worlds best/worst 3 month abyss training camp to indulge in this flawed false reality where their third son didnt walk into the void and come back hungry for More until only the fatui could take him and even then it only spurred him on further on that path. Like its all an act and a lie and its just. Not fucking fair on teucer but hes still doing it and theyre letting him even tho they Know it wont last theyre all looking teucer in the eye every day and letting him believe like man....
like in both the entire ruin factory sequence And in general hiding the truth from teucer as extensively as childe does hes being incredibly selfish but at the same time its selfishness only rly in the way all people are when it comes to Wanting to be seen a certain way by the ones they love and care about. and thats what makes it so interesting. bc as much as the choices he makes are dubious (or like. this decision makes sense to him. a morally bisexual total omnivore ethics-wise narwhalpilled since 14 who sees exclusively in abyss shrimp colors and acts accordingly) both they and the motivations behind them are also just. So very human ones . as terrible as the implications and eventual inevitable downfall of those choices can (will) be.
like. is it not that much more fascinating to consider all the ways that childe is neither a particularly exemplary nor an egregiously bad brother just one that. Happens to be wired weird in the head and proud and flawed and with a track record of heavily suspect decision-making but that also very much genuinely loves his family man. Like i can love that about him without dismissing the fact that theres parts to how hes treating teucer that 100% can and imo rly should backfire horrifically bc. It really just is that fucked up
hes not a good brother hes Worse AMD better than that and also not alone in this like. his family is an active fucking part of this . But like still . Is he trying his best with his abyss shrimp colored vision ? Yes. Is his love genuine? Absolutely. What are the marks? 3/10 meet me in the office after class mister youre just actually horrible (affectionate) 😭
A perfect brother? Not My Ajax man 🗣🗣 and like theres SO MUCH to explore in that it makes me so sad you just. Never see any of it p much in fanworks bc we all just call him best bro and whatever and thats that like its so sad. this family is terrible horrible awful and no good and they deserve it but also didnt deserve it it was misfortune it was fate it was inevitable . justice for teucer man i need to get him in therapy asap
#tonia will call him a perfect brother and ppl take it at face value is so.#dude NOBODY in that fuckimg family is in the place to say jack shit abt whats healthy familial dynamics n whats not#now like. do i know that theyll most likely never Truly let ajax experience teucers righteous rage at the betrayal#and instead brush it off where hes like youre still my brother i love u#Yes. unfortunately. but god he doesnt fucking deserve any of that like he SHOULD lose teucer forever#teucer should go full scorched earth no contact the entire family like its r/relationship_advice addressing mild drama#and theyd all deserve it. even as i understand Why they did this.and sympathize with it .#this is why he and the narwhal deserve each other btw hes just kimda fucking terrible sometimes#yes i had to make this about them too#genshin#rambles#childeposting
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