#so is barty

[purple-vbug]

Regulus black is an trusty lap sitter

It starts when Barty starts to pull him on to his lap when ever. Class, dorm, great hall, party’s. It doesn’t matter.

When one day Barty is down with the flu, he realizes chairs aren’t nearly as comfortable when they’re not already occupied.

So he goes to sit in Evan’s lap.

And then it doesn’t matter anymore, Barty, Dorcas, Pandora, Evan. As long as his delicate ass isn’t sitting somewhere a pair of legs don’t cover.

So when Regulus’ to good to an chair ass gets high at a party, he can’t see the difference between his friends and his brother’s.

Naturally he plops down on Remus. Remus, to his delight, does not push him of. And Regulus goes on an half hour rant about how this is the most comfortable he has ever been. And Remus just let’s him.

[percesdead]

barty would giggle and twirl his hair and say,"all this for me?" when surrounded by twenty aurors

[popcornhee]

Evan "terrified-of-needles" Rosier

[addsalwayssick]

Remus opened his letter, surprised when it appeared to be a howler. The last time he’d heard one was the day before Sirius got disowned back in 5th year.

He was in the dining hall for breakfast, sitting at the staff table. He watched as Harry and Hermione plotted, looking anxious. He blew it off, as it seemed Harry was always weary.

“A howler,” Snape sneered from beside him.

“Astute observation, Severus.” Remus told him, nodding at him.

Remus disregarded Snape, and focused on the howler. There was no name on it, so it was possible it was from a student playing a prank. In good nature, for the prankingnostalgia, Remus opened it.

There was silence for a moment before a loud, booming voice started to yell. “DARLINGGGGG, GUESS WHOS BACK FROM JAIL” And it was his Sirius Black. And he knew they would find each other again.

[i-need-of-a-hobby]

barty: if i came up to you and said i'd been arrested, what would you assume it was for? reg and pandora: *without skipping a beat, in total unison:* pandora: tax evasion regulus: murder reg and pandora: *looks at each other* pandora: murder regulus: tax evasion

[fiasco95]

[Pandora staring at a shirtless Regulus smoking and reading a book by the window alcove.]

Pandora:

Pandora: Okay. Those who agree Regulus is hot, say aye. Aye.

Barty: Aye.

Dorcas: Aye.

Evan: Aye.

Marlene: Aye.

James: Aye.

Pandora: …

Pandora: MARLENE???

Pandora: JAMES POTTER?!?!

Marlene: hey I may be a lesbian but I’m not blind.

James: I’m blind but that has nothing to do with anything, he’s just hot.

Pandora:

Pandora: That’s not what I had a problem with but okay.

[not-rab]

Auror: Got any drugs or alcohol on you?

Barty: Yup, I'm all set! Thanks, though!

[el-amor-que-perdimos]

i used to think my lil harry potter phase would stop when i got older.

then i crossed over to the gay side. oh boy. oooooh boy. this is now an integral part of my personality forever i'm pretty sure heh

and i'm so here for it.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Barty, entering the great hall to see a pissed Regulus and a confused Evan: What’s going on?

Regulus, Holding up a knife: What is this?

Barty: a people opener?

Regulus, livid: ITS A KNIFE! A KNIFE! That’s what your psycho boyfriend called it too. You two deserve each other

Barty and Evan: <3

[jiangyanlissidepiece]

Evan and Barty been waiting for YEARS for Regulus to turn their relationship into a threesome and then JAMES FUCKING POTTER—

[zacshian]

Barty (punching the wall): Ahh see, my knuckles are blushing.

Regulus: They are fucking bleeding.

Barty: Blushing.

[morsmortish]

i find barty and regulus’s friendship so funny. we have the permanently offended, supremely uptight, haughty, easily scandalised, victorian woman-esque, judgemental heir to the richest and most prominent wizarding family on one side, and then we have the sleaziest, most lewd and reprehensible ‘human being’ on the other. everytime barty forms a full sentence a year is taken off regulus’s lifespan. and yet barty is still significantly more intelligent than his best friend, and everytime regulus is reminded of this (every day) his eye twitches and he visualises how lovely barty would look without a head.

[percesdead]

barty "lmao lets go fuck on my dads grave" crouch jr

evan "lmao lets do it" rosier

[corwnvus]

THE TWINS!

[pxrty-crxsher]

*James asked Regulus why he was upset. He gets a list of everything he hates about today*

James: Okay then.. what don’t you hate?

Regulus: I don’t hate your annoying voice. That’s about it.

James: Well aren’t you a little ray of pitch black.

[macaulaytwins]

a loose part 2 to the “Sirius Black killed James Potter” nonsense of 1981