#so inconsistent it’s not even funny cry

[nyk-is-always-lurking]

No inktober or ectober this year cuz am very busy, so instead have some new and old art I forgot to post here

[lulu2992]

I’d like to (finally) talk about this interview with Mark Thompson, Narrative Director on Far Cry 4:

I love it when devs talk about their work because it’s always super interesting and informative! This video is no exception.

But what struck me most when I first saw the interview is what he says about Far Cry 3, a title he also worked on as a Level Design Director, which I believe means he was not (or barely) involved in the writing of the script. When he mentions what he thinks the issues with the game were and what had to be “fixed” in Far Cry 4, the thing is that... he often contradicts what Jeffrey Yohalem, Lead Writer on Far Cry 3, explained in various articles.

Under the cut, I highlighted some parts of Mark Thompson’s interview (in red) and compared them to Jeffrey Yohalem’s words (in blue, with the sources) so you can see how different their points of view are.

In this case, when it comes to the story and meaning of Far Cry 3, I’m inclined to give more credence to the Lead Writer’s explanations, but I think this example perfectly illustrates how even people who worked on the same project can have very different (and sometimes equally valid) opinions, understandings, and feelings about it, and why it can therefore be difficult for the audience to determine what the “truth” or the “right” interpretation is…

Open world vs story

MT: We ended up shipping a game where the open world had a lot of cool stuff, but it didn’t have a lot of depth or meaning, and it had almost no connection to what was happening in the story. And in fact, in some ways, the two were kind of opposed and they were kind of conflicting each other. So, on one hand, the story itself had this ticking time bomb of “I have these friends that I need to rescue, but holy sh*t, collecting plants, finding that next animal I need for the next upgrade, getting that next skill point… Oh, look, there’s a radio tower! Wait, wasn’t I heading to that outpost?” And then you’re like, “Oh yeah, sh*t, my friend Keith’s trapped in the basement, I should probably go rescue him… I’m a terrible friend.” That was my main goal: fix this sh*t and make sure that the story and the open world speak to each other, complement each other; strip everything down so that the story and the open world are the same thing and it’s the same game.

JY: People who have looked at the surface of the game think that the story and the game are at war with each other as they are in most games, with the story just plugging potholes and the gameplay is going along its merry way. I think it’s very exaggerated that, “Oh, go save the friends! Go save the friends!” but most people are out on the island doing all this other crazy stuff and experiencing the gameplay. And that’s actually the point of the story. It’s not a game about go save your friends. It’s a game about – doing a lot of picking skins from things, and wait, it’s just a pile of meat – this doesn’t even make sense, yet I’m still doing it instead of saving the friends. (Rock Paper Shotgun - Dec. 19, 2012)

The “white savior” trope

MT: We were definitely aware of some of the tropes that we fell into - unintentionally in some cases, intentionally in some - and (…) almost the first thing that we did was decide how we were gonna address the white savior trope, the outsider who comes in and helps simple people with his outsider’s kind of more advanced understanding of the world. (...) The first thing we said was, “This guy is from Kyrat, no matter what happens. That is the most important thing; he is part of this world, he belongs here.”

JY: “It’s a first-person game, and Jason is a 25-year old white guy from Los Angeles. From Hollywood. So his view of what’s going on on this island is his own view, and you happen to be looking through his eyes, so you’re seeing his view,” Yohalem explained. “It’s set on an island in the South Pacific, so immediately the thing that comes to mind is the white colonial trope, the Avatar trope. I started with that, and it’s like, ‘Here’s what pop culture thinks about traveling to a new place,’ and the funny thing is, that’s an exaggeration of most games, they just don’t expose it. (The Penny Arcade Report - Dec. 17, 2012)

JY: There’s a reason why Jason is a 25 year old white guy from Hollywood – these are all ideas that are in his head. You’re seeing things through his eyes. (...) It’s not that [Citra] needed a white saviour at all. She didn’t need a white guy at all. She was just looking for the ultimate warrior and someone to be her gun. (...) If this was about the white messiah motif, would I be so stupid as to have a main character’s nickname be Snow White? I’m making fun of that! (Rock Paper Shotgun - Dec. 19, 2012)

The player and the protagonist

MT: When we were doing the script review, almost immediately, the first thing we would do would be, “Okay, so how many lines does Ajay have? Okay, cut that by 75%”, and then we would review it and then cut out even more. Whenever possible, we would set up a scenario where we know or we think we know how players would react, and so we would remove the line that the character would actually say and then have the other person react to it. “Oh, you think that, do you?” - in that kind of way, so they’re like, “Oh f*ck, how did he know I was gonna say that?” Whereas, if the protagonist said that line, they’re like, “Oof, I wouldn’t have said that”, and then suddenly you’re kind of broken out of the experience. (…) When you’re in first-person, all you hear is this disconnected voice that might not be agreeing with what you’re doing. So, again, it’s just about stripping away those barriers of immersion so you can imagine yourself in this scenario.

JY: In Far Cry 3, Jason is a character and he’s not the player. The player is another character in the game. Sometimes Jason disagrees with the player, and sometimes Jason agrees with him. And the magic of that is that then it doesn’t matter! Basically, as long as the whole narrative is directed towards what the player is feeling—which for me is how videogames should be—then I get to target Jason as a resource where players can go: “I disagree with Jason.” And the player gets to convince Jason to do something else. So instead of trying to force the two of them together, I’ve decoupled them. (Killscreen - Dec. 12, 2012)

[ectoplasmer]

sobs

[luvergirl-866]

something like love

part - 1

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 4.1k

c/a - language

a/n - hi!! i am so so excited to be posting my first ever pazzi fic (and also my first post on tumblr!) she’s a cute little fake-dating rom-com for yall, and i hope you enjoy reading it as much i enjoyed writing it! updates will probably be inconsistent but im gonna do my best lol. lmk what yall think!! (edit: side note, this is obviously all fiction! i’m sure paige’s mom and step-dad are perfectly good people irl, lol)

“Will you go out with me?”

When Paige asks this question during their weekly lunch date, Azzi is so taken aback that she almost chokes on her Chipotle.

“Shit, you good?” Paige asks, concerned, handing Azzi a napkin to cough into.

Azzi waves her off, swallows, and croaks, “What?”

“Hm?” Paige is staring at her nonchalantly, like she didn’t just ask what Azzi heard her ask. “Oh, that. Yeah, will you?”

“I don’t—“ Azzi shakes her head. Is she being messed with? It feels a lot like she’s being messed with. “Paige, you’re my best friend.”

“Exactly.”

“I didn’t know you…had, like, feelings for me.”

“Huh? No!” Wide-eyed, Paige shakes her head violently. “No, ‘course I don’t.”

Azzi’s stomach clenches—not in the good way it sometimes does around Paige—and she thinks Paige could’ve bothered to sound less disgusted by the notion of her having feelings for Azzi. “Funny, P.”

“I’m for real.”

Azzi frowns. “Actually?” Paige nods and Azzi wrinkles her brow, confused. “So you wanna go out with me but you don’t feel…like that about me.”

“Were you even listening earlier?” Paige playfully rolls her eyes, sitting all casually in her seat with her legs spread like she has the biggest dick on campus. Azzi usually loves it when she sits like that, but now she’s too annoyed and confused to appreciate it. “I was talking about my mom.”

“Oh.” To be fair, Azzi stopped listening a while ago, when Paige was still talking about the hot electrician that fixed her leaky sink the other day. She wasn’t aware the conversation had taken a more serious tone. “Sorry, I spaced. What were you saying?”

“I was saying she and her fuckass husband invited me home for a few weeks this summer…” Paige waits, but it doesn’t ring any bells, so she sighs and continues. “They told me to bring Josh.”

Azzi scrunches her nose. “Eww, why?”

“Because…I haven’t really, like, you know…” Paige tips her head to the side, “told them we ended things.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs.

“I know! I know. Just, I dunno.” Paige sighs, and Azzi knows she’s trying to act chill about it even though she likely laid awake last night thinking about it. “It’s hard, y’know? They’re not like my dad’s side, they’re not like your parents. You know what they did after I told them…” Paige glances surreptitiously around the restaurant, even though they’re far away from campus and not very likely to be recognized, “everything. And if I told them about Josh and they suspected something, I don’t think they’d let me see Ryan and Lauren again.” Her eyes are wide, now, and she’s doing that thing she does when she gets mad, pinching her bottom lip between her fingers.

Paige and Josh were never actually a thing, by the way. Paige doesn’t swing that way and she’s known it for a long time. But she came out to her mom over the new year, and that phone call had ended in a seething Paige at Azzi’s door, yelling and cursing while Azzi listened, and a broken one in her bed that night, crying herself to sleep while Azzi stroked her hair.

So a couple months later Paige recruited their closeted gay friend, Josh. And they became each other’s beards, pleasing her mom enough that she could stay in contact with her younger siblings. That is, until Josh found a nice boyfriend and Paige was left hanging.

Azzi tries to come up with something to say, something comforting, but she’s not sure there is anything to say.

“And I hate them for that,” Paige goes on. “But as long as Ryan and Lauren are still kids, my parents can still keep them from me. And it sucks they’re holding that over my head but there’s not a lot I can do about it.”

Azzi offers a sad little smile, letting her silence urge Paige to go on, even though she can tell it’s hard for her.

“So, anyway,” Paige sighs, sitting back in her seat, “when Josh ended it, I didn’t wanna tell them, because I knew the calls would stop coming, the support. And so whenever they asked about him, I’d be all, oh, yeah, he’s doing great, just busy. Just bullshitting my way through it.”

“And you’ve been doing this for the past two months?”

“Umm…” Paige looks down at her fingers, counting on them, then furrows her eyebrows. “Pretty much, yeah.”

“Okay…” Azzi leans forward on her elbows. “So how does your weird question come into all this?”

“Don’t say no right away,” Paige says, giving her this knowing look she hates.

Azzi narrows her eyes at her. “We’ll see.”

Paige reaches over to whack her and misses. “Lemme explain, damn. So, when they called me last night and invited me to come home with Josh, I was like, oh, shit. And I thought of ways I could handle it.”

“Uh-huh…” Azzi watches with wary eyes as Paige bends to rummage through her book bag. “Paige, tell me you’re not—”

“Let me introduce you to…” Paige keys up her laptop and then turns the screen toward Azzi with a wide smile, “Boom!”

“Oh my fucking god.” Azzi buries her head in her hands.

“No, bro, listen! It’s lowkey impressive!” Paige taps the screen. “It’s titled Game Plan for my Summer Visit to my Fuckass Parents, featuring Azzi Fudd. By Paige Bueckers.”

“Good Lord,” Azzi says, taking a peek at the PowerPoint in front of her. When has Paige ever gone to such lengths as to create a PowerPoint before? This must really be serious to her.

“So, listen carefully.” Paige taps the screen again; it changes from the title slide to one labeled ‘First (and worst) Option’. “I put the worst part because it’s true, but it’s also a lil rhyming moment.”

“Right, okay. Just keep going, please.”

“So, this is the first option that came to mind,” Paige starts, glancing down at the screen. “This is the option where I ghost my parents and refuse to come see them at all.” She taps the screen to a pros and cons slide. “As you can see, I mostly only came up with cons.”

“Yeah, because it’s a terrible idea.”

“I know. So then we have option two.” The next slide is labeled ‘Option Two (mid)’. “I put the mid part because—“

“I get it.”

Paige shoots her a look. Azzi playfully kicks her under the table. “Go on.”

“Okay.” Paige nudges Azzi’s foot with her own, but her attention is back to the laptop. “This is the scenario where I let my parents think that Josh and I are still together by telling them that I can come to Montana, but that Josh can’t. It’d be pretty easy, and as you can see here…” she clicks the screen, “there’s an even ratio of pros to cons.”

Azzi nods sagely. Sometimes, her best friend takes a while to get to the point, and Azzi learned a long time ago that waiting it out is the best way to go.

“But there is this one big con: I can’t keep lying to my parents forever. So this option is pretty much a way to procrastinate on telling them the truth. Which takes us to the last option.”

This slide is titled ‘Third Option (THE BEST)’ along with a few muscle emojis tacked to the end. A headache forms at the base of Azzi’s skull.

“This is where my awesome idea comes in.” Paige gives her a very self-satisfied smile. “Instead of Josh, I take you with me to Montana and we pretend you’re my girlfriend for two weeks. Literally a genius idea.” She leans back in her seat, nodding assuredly to herself, and Azzi can’t help but smile because she really loves this girl. Despite how bat-shit crazy she is.

“P, I don’t—“

“Hear me out.” Paige clicks to the final slide. This pros and cons list is mostly pros, and Azzi spots many love-emojis sprinkled throughout. “We pretend we’ve been dating since beginning of March. They know you’re my best friend; we’ll pretend that after Josh broke up with me, you and I bonded and fell in love or some shit. My parents won’t be happy, but I’ll already be there with you so they won’t kick me out or nothing.” Paige frowns. “Probably.”

Ok, so, Azzi absolutely hates to admit it, but this does actually make some sense. Not that she’ll ever say such a thing out loud.

“And then they’ll realize we’re totally in love and I’m happy and even if they hate gay shit they just want me to be happy, because I’m their kid.” Paige says this last part less like a fact and more like something she’s trying to convince herself of. Azzi can’t help but feel bad for her.

“Okay,” Azzi says slowly, watching Paige tuck away her laptop. “That’s your plan.”

“Yep.”

“I’m seeing a few plot holes.”

Paige waves her off. “It’ll work. No plan of mine is gonna fail, trust.”

“And why should I help you?”

Paige gives her an easy smile, and Azzi sort of hates how confident she is. “Because I’m your best friend in the whole world and you love me.”

Azzi raises an eyebrow.

“C’mon, Az. What is there to lose?”

Azzi sighs and almost says something stupid like I’m in, but this isn’t just one of those things that she can help Paige with without thinking twice. It’ll be two weeks of torture, pretending to date the girl she’s secretly in love with while being surrounded by her homophobic family, and then having to come home at the end of the two weeks and pretend she never got to experience a glimpse of what it’s like to be with Paige in the way she’s always wanted.

It sounds like hell.

Azzi sighs again, ready to say no, but when she looks up Paige is staring at her with something more vulnerable than before, open in the way she bites her lip, her arm reaching across the table like she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve and waiting for Azzi to take it.

Azzi takes her hand, instinctually, and says, “Okay.”

She is so fucking gone for this girl.

————————————-

They don’t talk about it for two days after that. It’s not that they don’t get the chance, or that they don’t see each other—they go to the gym together both days—it’s just that neither of them seems to have the guts to bring it up. And why should they? It wasn’t too scary while they were having the original conversation—nothing too big or threatening or, god forbid, real—but as soon as Azzi stepped into her dorm after that lunch, she realized just how much she fucked up by saying yes to Paige’s crazy idea.

It would be an understatement to say that talking about it is the last thing Azzi wants to do at this point.

Paige, however, seems to have other plans, as she usually does. When she storms into the living room—where almost every single member of the UConn women’s basketball team is doing homework—she makes a beeline for the seat beside Azzi on the couch and whispers, “Hey.”

Nika leans up from the floor to poke Paige with her pencil. “No chit-chat, we’re working.”

Paige glares. “What, I can’t talk to my best friend?”

“Shh,” hisses Aaliyah, barely pulling her eyes from her laptop.

Paige flips her off even though Aaliyah is too immersed to notice, and then she turns her attention back to Azzi, bumping their knees together. “Can we talk later?”

Azzi pretends to be focused on studying. “Mm. About?”

“About…” Paige glances around furtively, “y’know.”

Yes, Azzi does in fact know, but she really wishes she didn’t. “What’s there to talk about?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Paige says sarcastically. “Specifics? Rules? Details? I prepared a whole new PowerPoint.”

“So that’s what you’ve been doing the past couple of days.”

“Yeah, turns out I love PowerPoint.”

Azzi finally cautions a glance up, and Paige is looking at her, completely serious. The eye contact seriously messes with her ability to make sound decisions.

“Okay,” Azzi relents. “As long as you’re quiet for the next forty minutes, we can talk.”

Paige, dutifully, doesn’t say a word for the rest of Azzi’s worktime, letting everyone study in peace. And that’s how Azzi ends up in Paige’s bedroom an hour later, perched on the edge of her bed while Paige struggles with her laptop.

“Okay, fuck this,” Paige says after extensive fiddling. “My stupid fucking PowerPoint isn’t loading. What the hell.”

Every bone in Azzi’s body wants to take this as a sign from God, the fact that this PowerPoint isn’t working, that they’re not supposed to do this. She wants to walk out of the room—and this agreement—for good. But Paige is her best friend and Azzi had always been too loyal for her own good, so she sighs and says, “How about we just talk about it? Y’know, like normal people.”

Paige frowns but closes her laptop regardless. “Okay. So.”

“So…”

“First off,” Paige says when Azzi doesn’t continue, “I just felt like I should probably say sorry for dragging you into this.” Paige scratches the back of her neck, always a little awkward when it comes to apologies. “I know it’s a lot to ask for.”

Azzi blinks, startled. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, well…” should she back out? If she were going to, now’s her chance.

Azzi looks down at a scab on her knee. “I mean, that’s okay.”

Paige shifts in her seat, the stool creaking underneath her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve had to help with one of your ridiculous plans.” Azzi goes for lighthearted but knows it falls flat under the weight of what she’s going to have to do.

“Okay.” When Azzi looks up, Paige is staring at her suspiciously. She wonders just how bad of an actress she must be for Paige, the same Paige who hasn’t yet detected Azzi’s somewhat obvious, six-years-long crush on her, to see right through her. But then she just shrugs and continues, aloof like she always is. “So then I wanted to ask you about what you think we should do about…all this.”

“…Okay?”

“I was thinking we should get into the, like. The specifics.”

Azzi rolls her eyes. “Paige, just tell me.”

Paige gnaws at her lip until it turns white and Azzi starts to worry it might bleed, but then she says, “We need a sex timeline.”

If Azzi were drinking water, she would have surely spit it out.

“A what?” she asks, sort of incredulous. Paige has said a lot of crazy things before but nothing quite like that.

“Okay, my bad, weird way to put it.” Paige grins as if all of this is funny to her. “What I mean is we need a story to tell my family, our friends. Like, why did we start dating? When was our first kiss? What’s our song? Have we, you know…gone to the penthouse and freaked it?”

Azzi throws herself back onto the bed. Paige’s bed. Which she is just now realizing is probably going to be the bed that many of these fictional events are going to take place in. “Paige.”

Paige is giggling now, which is endearing because Paige doesn’t giggle often. If only it weren’t at Azzi’s expense. “We need to figure it out, for real! People are going to ask questions.”

“People are not going to ask those kinds of questions.”

“Um, excuse me.” Paige stands and walks over until she’s at the bed, pulling Azzi’s legs off the edge playfully. “Have you met our friends? KK’s not shy with that shit.”

Azzi’s ankles instinctively go around the back of Paige’s thighs, but she’s in a certain mindset due to their current conversation and the casual gesture suddenly seems much less innocent than usual. She unwraps them, pulling her legs from Paige’s grasp as discreetly as possible. “So we’re planning on telling them we’re dating, too?”

Paige shrugs. “Yeah. You weren’t?”

“I don’t…” Azzi straightens up as Paige sits beside her, their hips touching. “We spend every day with them, P. Don’t you think it’ll be hard to keep up the act that much?”

“Yeah, probably. But that’s also why I wanna do it.” As usual, Paige sounds completely sure of herself. “We only have a couple weeks until Montana and I wanna make sure we get enough practice acting like a couple.”

Azzi still feels uneasy about the whole thing, but Paige is right—they can’t get onto a plane as best friends and get off it a convincing pair of girlfriends.

Azzi’s face heats at the term. Girlfriends. But that’s what they’ll be, isn’t it?

“I was thinking we’ll tell them next week,” Paige says. “We’ll ask them to hang out and then drop it on them that we’ve been dating since March.” Paige must recognize the look on Azzi’s face, because she puts a hand on her knee—which does absolutely nothing to help. “Is that cool with you?”

Azzi can’t say all of the things she’s thinking right now, so instead she settles for, “Yeah, no.” She pauses, her feet on Paige’s fuzzy carpet, and decides this will be the last time she lets herself doubt this.

“I think that’s perfect.”

————————————

One week later, three Saturdays from the end the school year, Azzi sits with a bowl of popcorn in her lap feeling like she might hurl.

“Why are you acting so weird, Fudd?” KK asks, and Azzi startles at her name, looking at the freshman who’s sitting on the floor in front of her and giving her a weird look.

“Leave her alone, Camera,” Paige says, settling into the couch next to Azzi. “What movie we watching?”

They are all crammed into a dorm, as they often are, excited for a chill team movie night in the midst of finals season. Little do the girls know, they will be getting entertainment from more than just the movie tonight.

“No, KK’s right,” Ice says, scrolling through Netflix on the TV. “Azzi’s been acting super weird.”

Azzi, somewhat offended (she thought her acting skills were pretty decent) looks around the room for help. Instead, the girls all just nod their agreement.

Paige nudges her and raises her eyebrows, and Azzi knows exactly what that look means.

“You don’t have to tell us what’s up if you don’t want,” Inês says from her place on the other side of Azzi, dipping her hand into their shared popcorn. It almost makes Azzi want to back out.

Almost.

Putting on her bravest face, Azzi nods and turns to face their friends. “Paige and I have something we’d like to tell you.”

There’s something odd about the silence that follows this, the way the girls on the floor look at each other before turning their bodies to face the couch, the stragglers sitting in the loveseat and at the dining table leaning forward almost imperceptibly.

Azzi tenses up as she is suddenly under the scrutiny of eleven other girls. How is she going to lie to them? How is this ever going to work?

Paige, through some form of best-friend-telepathy, senses Azzi’s struggle and places a comforting hand on her back. “I can say it.”

This isn’t what they practiced, but Azzi is too grateful and too distracted by the hand on her back to worry about going off-script.

“We’ve been wanting to tell y’all for a while,” Paige says. “But we also wanted to just keep it to ourselves for a little bit.”

It sounds so natural, and effortless, and Azzi can feel herself slipping into this role for the first time. She pretends the hand on her back is more than friendly, the nerves in her stomach are something other than guilt, the things Paige is about to say are true.

If one good thing is going to come out of any of this, it’ll be this feeling of contentment that Azzi will get to have, at least for a little while. And maybe she’s okay with that.

“Do you guys remember that party we went to a couple months ago?” Paige asks. Her nails scratch over Azzi’s shirt, making her shiver.

“Yeah…” Nika says at the table in the corner. Aubrey rests her chin in her palms, looking suspiciously like she’s trying not to smile. For some reason, Ice and KK are clutching each other’s hands.

“Well, when Azzi and I got home we just decided to stay together in her dorm…” Paige trails off like she’s hesitant to continue, and half the girls lean closer to them while the other half look a little too relaxed. Ice is now glaring at KK, who’s…beaming?

“Something happened between us that night.” Paige looks at Azzi now, and even though this is what they were supposed to do the look in her eyes still takes Azzi’s breath for just a moment. She has dreamed of Paige looking at her like this for years, and now it is finally happening, and Azzi thinks she would do anything to make this all real.

Paige opens her mouth to continue, but before she can, KK jumps to her feet and squeals, and Ice throws the remote on the ground with an angry, “Fuck!”

Azzi and Paige both startle, and Azzi loves the way Paige’s hand fists up her shirt in surprise, but then the notices that all the other girls don’t seem surprised or confused at all—rather, they all seem to be having similar reactions to KK. Nika and Aubrey are even singing something, and Inês has jumped up from her spot beside Azzi to join the others in what looks a lot like a celebration. Why are they all chest-bumping each other?

Finally, Azzi finds it in herself to speak. “Guys, what…?”

KK kneels to wrap her arms around a sulking Ice and looks at them both, eyes glimmering. “Whatchu mean, what?”

“I don’t…” Paige releases Azzi’s shirt, her hand falling to the seat behind her. “We haven’t even finished telling you yet.”

“Are y’all actually this dumb?” KK asks, before squealing in Ice’s ear and then throwing herself onto the couple on the couch. “Ugh! I’m so happy for you two lovebirds.”

“Lovebirds…?” Azzi asks, but the room is too raucous for her to be heard and when she looks at Paige, all she gets is an equally confused head shake in return.

“My babies are growing up,” Aubrey says, wiping an invisible tear, and Aaliyah comfortingly pats her shoulder.

“Baby,” Amari says, smiling at the both of them, “we have known.”

“Uh,” Paige says, thrown off for once in her life. “How?”

“Because y’all are the most obvious fucking couple in the country,” Ice chips in. She is still pouting, even with Ayanna patting her on the head and Jana rubbing her shoulders.

During the past week, Paige and Azzi have been dropping a few hints here and there in the hopes that they could almost ease their friends into it before telling them, to make things more believable. But obvious? Obvious enough for all of them to know? That’s a stretch.

Apparently thinking the same thing, Paige laughs awkwardly, trying to regain some semblance of control over the situation. “We thought we were pretty good at hiding it.”

“Yeah, right.” Caroline flicks Azzi’s forehead good-naturedly. “KK and Ice have had a bet running for, like, six months now.”

At this, Azzi tenses up, and Paige turns to her, gives her a cautious, confused smile. “That long?”

“I started the bet, of course,” KK pipes in. “You two are so in love.” She sighs dreamily and then nudges Ice with her foot. “You owe me my five-hundy, girlypop.”

“You didn’t even actually win, this doesn’t count,” Ice grumbles. “We made the bet six months ago and they only started dating in March. And also, I thought they’d be way too pussy to tell us yet.”

Paige perks up at this, her unusual awkwardness gone as fast as it came. “Hey! I ain’t pussy about nothing!” and KK chimes in with her own protests of, “Girl, boo! It does too still count, you’re just a sore-ass loser!”

Azzi can’t bring herself to say anything, because their teammates believed Azzi and Paige gave been dating longer ago than this arrangement was even brought up. And that means they must have seen Azzi’s feelings for Paige, and whatever the other side of that is, and they don’t really act like a couple, do they?

“Anyway,” Ice continues, a little less pouty now, “I totally thought I’d have to walk in on you two fucking or something before you ever really came clean.”

Azzi squeezes her eyes shut. Paige’s fingernails dig into her back a little bit.

“I actually can’t believe none of us have walked in on them fucking yet,” Nika muses, and the room quiets down a little, everyone mumbling their assent.

“Maybe they’re celibate,” KK reasons, then fixes them with a look. “Are y’all celibate?”

Paige laughs, and then bends close to Azzi’s ear and mutters, “Told you so.”

For the rest of the night, Azzi’s neck is hot.

This might be more complicated than she thought.

[leresq]

Fnaf movie notes, spoilers ahead:

First off, fuck Scott Cawthon, let's just say I didn't watch the movie in theaters or on a streaming service.

What I liked:

Matthew Lillard actually looks like William Afton

The "Talking in Your Sleep" cameo was the best one of the movie, next to "I have a theory"

Cory was funny, as expected

I liked how they made the animatronics just kids, they want a friend.

The way the animatronics moved was great, I just wish we could have gotten a foxy running scene.

The cinematography and set design inside the pizzeria was great, and everywhere outside felt very real.

The animatronics were cute when I was supposed to like them and foreboding when I was supposed to be scared of them. I don't know if they physically changed the suits but it works.

Mike's actor was actually pretty good at looking distressed or upset.

I just want to hug the animatronics they are so cute 🥺🥺

The animatronics weren't sadistic, when they killed someone it was because they were trying to get them out or away. Just like if an actual little kid had that power, they wouldn't be cruel or even want to kill anyone, they just don't understand their own power

There actually were five nights!

Springtrap wiping the knife is a reference to Scream, where Matthew Lillard played Ghostface, who is known for wiping their knife after using it.

BALLOON BOY

What I didn't like:

You're telling me they named their main character Mike and they didn't have Afton go "MIKE! MICHAEL!!! MICHAEL DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!!!!! *MICHAEL!*

Vanessa was a nothing burger, even when her motivation was revealed it wasn't that good. I think it would have been better if they set up that she was working with Afton

Golden Freddy was everywhere but they didn't namedrop the kid once, and it was so inconsistent. He's here, he's not here. I'm assuming it's a combination of Cassidy and the Crying Child.

Afton's connection to the story is flimsy. Why was he pretending to be Raglan? I'm assuming it's so he could get night guards to toy with, that's why the animatronics killed the intruders but not Mike.

It's kind of weird thinking about the logic of how Afton killed Mike's brother, and gave his daughter the plane. Just seems a little bit of a stretch.

Even though I hate excessive gore, I thought there wasn't half as much violence as there should have been. I guess the PG-13 rating constricted a lot.

It takes a broom to activate what I'm assuming is a Circus Baby reference springlock, but Afton can jump around in Spring Bonnie.

The only Purple Guy reference we got was a purple tie. They should have made the security vest purple.

Questions

How is the cupcake sentient?

How does Afton control the kids?

Who cleaned up the blood of the four intruders? I'm guessing Afton but I wish they'd made it more clear

Why didn't Afton send out the animatronics on the first night? Even if he wanted to kill Mike, he seems like the type to psychologically torture people beforehand.

Why was there an "it's me" note? I get the reference, but why? Is Mike's brother here?

What's the Freddy mask with the saws inside? I know Afton uses it to kill people but why does it exist?

Why does Balloon Boy exist? Do the toy animatronics exist in this universe??

Why doesn't foxy have a tail?????

Favourite character: Foxy

If we get a sequel I hope we only get one or two. I don't want a whole cinematic universe. Finding ways to watch 12 movies 'other ways' will get complicated.

Also when the casting was revealed, I didn't know who Matthew Lillard was and someone told me he played live action Shaggy, so I didn't know he played fuckin STU FROM SCREAM until I watched the movie, so another cameo technically, just only for me

[kabuki-draws]

I watched Ridley Scott's NAPOLEON yesterday and it was a complete Waterloo.

Yes, I am a big history nerd with a giant heart for movie adaptation of historical topics. But when I watched NAPOLEON I sat there... and tried not to laugh. It was not only so historical inaccurate, that I wanted to cry, at the same time it was filled with cringe dialogues, red flags and terrible color grading. This whole movie made me so sad yet so angry, that I HAVE to write this review:

(Disclaimer: This review is based on my own opinion. If you enjoyed the movie, it's completely fine. Btw. in that case or if you agree with me, feel free to tell me your opinion. I would love to know!)

First of all: Don't get me wrong, the medium film has its own rules and you can't put as much historical accuracy into a big scale movie as you would into a documentary - sometimes the story needs to be altered to be a good movie. And that is fine. Even if Gladiator is a complete fictional story set in the Roman Empire, I can still enjoy this movie for what it is: A good-written story with great characters, a beautiful score and iconic scenes. With Kingdom of Heaven it's kind of the same - and while the movie cut was very inconsistent, I still kind of liked it. But then the Directors Cut made it a a masterpiece for me.

Funny enough, both of these movies are made by the same person: Ridley Scott. So naturally I thought: Well, Napoleon won't be a historical accurate film, but I surely will enjoy it anyways. Well, ...no. It is not only historical incorrect, it's also a bad movie overall.

To start it short: NAPOLEON clearly lost itself in all the various topics it wanted to tell within a runtime of two and a half hours. It made the whole storytelling very weird and inconsistent, causing the problem, that the audience even loses itself in the questions of when and where. Where is that scene located? When did that happen? And then comes the question: Why is this even happening?

Ridley Scott wants to depict Napoleon as a lover, a military genius, a big political figure, a revolutionary and more. But in the end he tells all of this in the most shallow way possible, which waters down Napoleons personality traits and achievements to a series of small scenes. You never get a glimpse of the "true" Napoleon, who was described as a highly intelligent and charismatic man. In fact, you never really feel ANYTHING about him except that he was a cringe red flag in front of his wife. He just stands there, stares and has very limited dialogue scenes to get a picture of that man. What are his overall motivations? Only Josephine? If so, why is this motivation only vaguely explored?

The whole love story between him and Josephine feels so unnatural and got to the brink of being disgusting. This is particularly sad because I deeply respect Vanessa Kirby and Joaquin Phoenix, they're both stunning actors. I don't know if they just couldn't fit the role or if it was rather a problem of the script (the last one is my guess). Yet whenever I saw Josephine and Napoleon on screen, I felt like acted very stiff and forced. Napoleon seemed more obsessed with her than actual love and that can be a character trait, but there wasn't a chance to explore that deeper. Before the movie entered the cinema, the lovestory between these two was marketed as intense, obsessive, deeper than you could imagine. What the audience got was a few scenes without real conversation, much staring and a bunch of cringeworthy s-scenes. And seriously, these "sexy" scene were the worst. I was so disgusted by them because they were SO DAMN WEIRD. There are no scenes that undermine ANY deep love between Josephine and Napoleon. It felt therefore so off, when they still longed for each other after their divorce.

And let's not start to ramble about the fact that they depicted Josephine ONLY in a somehow sexual way. Yeah, there is that scene where she says to Napoleon, that he is nothing without her. BUT SHOW, DON´T TELL! You never see her doing something instead of sitting there, talking with others or when the plot needs her to have sexy time with someone (not only Napoleon). As a woman myself this makes me so freaking furious, you have no idea. I don't need a marvel-coded super-strong woman with unlimited talents - I just need a female character that is written GOOD and plausible! Make me CARE for her plot and for the plot of Napoleon! Both of them don't even feel like normal human beings because they're like blank pieces of paper with their names written on it!

And don´t make me start to talk about the historical inaccuracies. At first I didn't want to draw that card. Actually, I don't need a historical movie to present 100% facts. If the movie is still enjoyable, it's okey. But even if many people say that the war scenes were awesome, I can only partly agree. Yeah, we have that cool ice-lake Austerlitz battle, but it took me a couple of minutes and a better look on the uniforms to know that Napoleon is now at war with Austria! You get nearly ZERO context to Napoleons battles. Yeah, nice, the scenes look cool - but there is nothing more to it? Is that all you need to show for the audience to care? For me at least, I just didn't care at all and I was very happy when I got out of the cinema. Overall this movie is full of messy non-sense choices that don't contribute to the story. Many moments just confused me and it left me with the question why Scott couldn't simply hire some historians to put together a consistent story. Everyone who read about Napoleons life knows that there are so much cinema worthy moments in his career that would've been so much better than what we now got.

I could ramble about that movie for hours if I´m honest, but I hope this little TED talk was enough to make my statement clear.

In the end, it just makes me sad. I wanted to like this movie, I wanted it to be good. For months I hyped myself up to this, read books about Napoleon, watched the trailer all over and over and talked with friends about how great this movie will be. Now I am just disappointed and frustrated. Oppenheimer was such a great biopic of a historical person that became a great success at the box office - even without great battle scenes. I hoped that Napoleon would push a cinema revolution, that shows people want big scaled films about historical personalities and history topics. But now I just want to forget this Napoleon movie to be honest.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

The FNAF character Encyclopedia is weird.

It has a lot of details that don't make sense.

Such as the Crying Child called the Protagonist of FNAF4, when he is only for the minigames...

A weird two page article of Helpy that calls him awful and the worst....

Weird typos and contradictory information...

Now... I know this is likely because it was rushed out the scholastic house from people who probably didn't care...

But...

It's SO MUCH FUNNIER to me...

If Michael Wrote it.

As he did for the Official guidebook.

It explains so much if that was the case.

His burning hatred of Helpy, his insistence that his brother experienced the nightmares

It could even explain why there's a lot of weird errors and inconsistencies. And why it complains about Helpy so much, and why there's NO entry for mike himself.

It's probably not true, but it's Sooooo funny to imagine

Mike going 'yeah that's probably right" on his seventh cup of coffee.

So that's my headcannon now.

[chaifootsteps]

Doesn’t seem like a slow pace if Blitzø just does a dramatic 180 to being sick of stolas shit to after watching him sing on stage and cry a bunch of times concede and “love” him if that’s what you call that.

In s106 they assumingly had an average night before they started fighting viciously like they did before that episodes bizarre kiss and he left. Come Ozzies stolas isn’t someone he even likes looking at and can’t hold down a conversation with him, at the end of the night he’s pissed and deeply hurt by always being lusted after by stolas despite how it’s hurting his own kid. But we are supposed to believe he likes him cause of a photo on his phone despite all of his interactions saying otherwise. The Circus shows a Blitz fairly consistent to season one, who finds stolas impossible to talk to, boring, and the idea of sex with him disgusting.

Then in that middle period, out of nowhere, just inexplicably, in seeing stars he bounces between terrified that stolas will violently kill him for making a mistake that he can’t appease with sex this time, and making stupid blushy faces at his human form. It was just overnight he was randomly not mad about ozzies anymore. In western energy the message was that he thinks owl is stronger than he is…which is weird because stolas is stronger. they just had to come up with a nonsense plot device to nerf him. Stolas has to be unnaturally weakened down for this ship to work. There was no growth here.

And all this time stolas is being pissy that blitzo didnt fall in love during the arrangement. Thats all hes pissed about. Despite the "what kind of monster does that make me?" line. When he found out the truth he thought blitzo was the monster. Im very confused by the "so what are you doing here then?" line? Stolas does think blitzo wants to date him and finds it funny? Instead of being happy and gentle with him to open up, he gets mad and taunts him making him go back to defensive. Then theres a massive whiplash between an angry Get Out and a breathy self pitying "im tired of this :( im uncomfortable :(" What a stupid fucking show with a blatant favourite.

Theres no slow burn here, sometimes he finds stolas ugly and stolas being forceful and a rapist is the "joke" sometimes him blushing for stolas is the joke. But most of the time theyre tearing each other to shreds over how much they cant stand the other and have no attraction at all.

Nailed it. These aren't a few little inconsistencies here and there, this is a show that plays out like every episode was created by an entirely different team with absolutely no communication between them.

It's not a slow burn, it's an out of control garbage fire covered in grease.

[bloodyinkandquill]

Valk x Reader

alright got permission from the requester to just do general hcs, i woke up 4-5 hours before my alarm because we’re having a late start day due to the snow, don’t feel as shitty mentally but i’m still not doing great, reasonably

- You weren’t entirely sure how you ended up dating one of the Inpherno’s most famous idols, who is also a demi deity and technically a prince, but hey you aren’t complaining

- Valk is an incredibly sweet partner and an overall very loving guy, he always lets you know just how much he loves and adores you, wether through actions or words, he can be super cheesy about it but it’s incredibly sincere and loving, so even if you roll your eyes at how sappy he’s being you love the way he treats you

- He is an incredibly touchy guy, he is constantly touching you, holding your hand, giving you hugs and kisses, cuddling, bumping horns with you, just any way for him to touch you really, since he’s very likely shorter then you he’s usually little spoon or he just lays on top of you, he’s surprisingly light honestly, unlike Dom he loves when you touch his wings, they’re small and sensitive but it’s an intimate and trusting thing for him to let you touch them, so if while you’re cuddling you pet his wings he literally melts

- He sends you those cheesy videos of two cats doing something loving or even just sitting next to each other that have the caption ‘us<3’, he sends you so many of those it’s not even funny at this point, if one of the cats is an orange cat he always calls being that one, he is very orange cat coded

- He uses those embarrassing over the top pet names for you, you groan and light heartedly swat at him but he just laughs and keeps calling you them, if you retaliate you end up in a war of who can call each other the more embarrassing couples pet name, Dom just looks exhausted by it

- Speaking of Dom you obviously get to know him more, you can tell the differences of the brother’s personalities a lot clearer, but you also see their real personalities not their stage ones, he’s totally chill with you since you make his brother happy but you did get some serious shovel talk when your partner first introduced you to his brother

- Valk unsurprisingly loves karaoke, it’s probably his favorite date night activity, he doesn’t mind if you can’t sing you’re doing the thing he loves, and besides half the fun of karaoke is sucking absolute balls at it, if anything he’s the one ruining the fun being a professional trained singer, but it’s nice to have a private room where you let loose, maybe have a drink, eat some like ice cream parfaits and sing out music like maniacs

- Other dates you two usually do are nice fancy dinners, or nights in gaming, he can and will kick your ass at whatever the equivalent of Mario Kart is, maybe also going to an arcade together, unfortunately most of your dates are in their home or yours because he gets recognized in public, he can to some extent to undercover and make himself less recognizable but it only works so well, you promise him you don’t mind you knew what you were signing up for by dating him

- His love language is yes. He basically falls into all of them, he may slightly prefer some over the others but for the most part he shows and feels loved by all of them, so whatever yours is he’s absolutely fine with, he feels loved regardless and can love you regardless

- His work hours are so inconsistent it’s crazy, sometimes you have two weeks of him barely doing anything other days he and Don have to go into the studio at 5 am, but between it all he reminds you just how much he loves and treasures you, sending you long winded texts about how much he adores you, any and everything about you

- If you’re insecure about anything about yourself he’s saying the most loving and sweet things about it till you want to cry over how amazing he’s being towards you, you feel inferior sometimes seeing as you’re dating him who has so many fans and people who’d kill to date him, but he just reminds you how much he loves you and that there’s no one else in the entire Inphinity he’d rather be with

- Meeting his grandpa was stressful to say the least, not only is he the legal guardian of your lover, he’s a literal god, and your king, so that was not a good time you were incredibly anxious but it went well and eventually it became less scary to see Firebrand

- On the other hand it never became any less scary to see any of his siblings, you see them a lot less so never can really get used to them, the family dinners Firebrand hosts once or twice a year are like a game of mental chess, but Valk is by your side the whole time reassuring you and comforting you, his family isn’t so scary when you get to know them, you disagree but you aren’t saying that

- You call him Mic/Microphone, that’s his name so why wouldn’t you? Valk is just his stage name, you also call Dom by his real name Meg/Megaphone, only a handful of demons have the permission to call the brother’s their real names so it’s nice

i self ship with both flipside brothers so this was a nice break to write, i’m fucking starving right now i’ll probably make myself some breakfast here soon, anyways hope you enjoyed adios

[foundfam2754]

S17e10 (finale!) live reactions!

Spoilers…obviously

- AHHH this is it!! finally! here. we. go.

- yeah they better not hurt my kiddos thank you very much

-I’m telling you NOW. this is all about Elias. He’s the center of the conspiracy. that’s been my theory since e1. if he didn’t say anything about GS, none of this would have started

- of course, Emily’s kidnapped again. That HAS be in Paget’s contract or something

- where are JJ and Luke?? boyf and bff up to no good again

- what did Emily do?? what’s she being judged for?

- I KNEW IT. THEY WERE GONNA DO FLASHBACKS AGAIN

- tbh this has to be the least scary time that’s she’s been “abducted and interrogated” lol

- I KNEW IT. My “Emily abduction count” was 4

- this is the “dramatic and cry-y” outfit for Pen!!

- I think my theory is right!! if you have been reading my reaction posts every week you’ll know I have a theory about this season:

that the underlying conspiracy of the season being that they’re (BAU and the gold stars) doing everything Elias wants them to do - and it was all to get him out of jail and to screw over the BAU, and it all started with Bailey’s “gold star” in 16x10. especially because the only way they can resolve it is by confiding in voit. because he knows everything and how everyone really feels. and everyone’s priorities

- lol elias’ cell looks like a college dorm

- I KNEW IT I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE CONSPIRACY. - ELIAS. IS. THE. CENTER OF IT!!! I’m just so proud of myself

- OMG that’s not a spin I saw coming

- wait wait wait did I forget or did they JUST tell us about Emily’s sister

- aw man doug bailey’s such a good egg

- chaotic voit is so fucking funny

- also that’s a cool shot

- god doug bailey is *so* cute

- oh god - voit knew if bailey ended up on that wall, pete would fall into deeper into the conspiracy!! 🤯🤯

- BIT THROUGH HER TONGUE?

- how does emily end up being cool and such a bitch badass even when she’s in that much pain!??

- “Jenny?” ew

- “we can smell you later” HAHA

- haha I fucking love Tyler “thought experiment”

- “hey, Ty-Ty” “Lucas” I FUCKING LOVE CHAOTIC ELIAS

- oh my god Penelope, stay safe

- PEN PROTECTING TYLER!!! it actually threw him off, you could see his face, it’s the eye contact specifically that threw him off

- oh my god that’s horrifying

- this whole episode is the bau trying to throw Elias of and v/v

- oh god I forgot about emily

- is she about to say that she loved him? pls, I kinda liked them together

- also a lil inconsistency that bugs me; in 15x4, they said that you can never talk down a conspiracy theorist, a targeted individual - they just have to let them believe what they believe - so why is Em trying to convince them so hard, shouldn’t she profile them? idk

- wait I don’t get it, how does the board relate to the team coming?? wouldn’t they have booby trapped it either way? why does Luke dancing in a towel after his shower have anything to do with it??😂

- omg Luke

- OMG dave this is so smart

- Jade’s gonna do something isn’t she??

- I KNEW IT

- when is pen going to cry? im so unsure what kirsten’s insta post was about bc the ep is almost over

- “discretion is the better part of valor” - interesting

- wait are we getting profilers back?? now that she has more money

- Penelope’s house!!

- but also no more greencia pls

- pen and luke pls?? pls? pls. :(

- wuoh elias…

GREAT SEASON!!! but we deserved garvez

looking forward to 2026, when I can do these again :)

more to come as I reflect on the season, but thanks for sticking w me as I did these reactions!!

[wofdesignhub]

I’m gonna draw a dragon again soon so quick rant

You know one thing I REALLY hate in wings of fire? There’s a tiny, little inconsistency throughout the books. And that’s the sizes of scavengers to the dragons. Because I’m just gonna say it here: the “canonical” size comparison such as the picture below makes NO SENSE considering how everything else is just conveniently a decent size for a dragon. And trust me, we WILL get to it being “canonical”

A mango can fit a dragons palm when it should clearly be tiny as the actual love I have for this book series. What about cows? How come they’re described to be massive enough to feed a whole dragon? They should be like a candy bar to those things! And don’t get me started on how completely unrealistic it is for a sloth to be big enough to wrap itself around a rainwing’s neck. Like that must be some pretty massive sloths around that should ABSOLUTELY be massive compared to a scavenger.

Also the funny part about that pic I showed you? Yeah well scrap that cuz that’s also pretty inaccurate. We were to believe in the VERY EARLY books that scavengers are like hamsters to dragons. Literally the size of their right toe. Also also the fact that Smolder is like 50 years old AND also also also the fact that dragons keep growing as they age, then that just tells us that these scavenger are way, WAY bigger to these dragons. Especially if Flower here is the size of his FOREARM!

“Oh, but the islands are more suited for dragons! Of course everything will be big!” You cry out! Yet it is implied that scavengers were the dominant race BEFORE The Scorching, and even if that was a whole lotta years ago, then that must’ve been the FASTEST evolution process in the south coast yet.

And it STILL gets worse! Scavengers, even after being concluded to be the size of hamsters to dragons, Tui is constantly and very much maliciously switching the sizes of these scavengers to fit the plot because she has never figured out what she ever wants. Winter keeps Bandit in what’s implied to be some.. hamster cage? Okay, so he must be pretty damn tiny, which makes some amount of sense considering he’s probably a… teenager… I mean, okay, sure, whatever, I’ll let it slide- wait! But so is Winter! Winter is bigger than Qibli, sure, but neither of them are any bigger than other fully grown dragons! Winter is a teenage dragonet! So how small is Bandit?? How small is he compared to a- and let me emphasize- a FULL GROWN DRAGON!!!?? What!!!

And by the way, have you SEEN the actual cover of Dragonslayer??? Look at that and TELL me how completely unrealistic it is if we are to believe scavengers are the size of a dragon’s forearm

Also also also ALSO in book 14 Daffodil is shown tossing and catching Bumblebee who had just hatched and this is just unnatural and biologically confusing to think about. HOW is Daffodil bigger than a newborn dragonet? And this makes even LESS SENSE when you realize that it’s been implied that a newborn dragonet is the same size as a regular sized scavenger ACCORDING to the fact that it’s really easy to pick up a baby dragonet by the hand COMPARED to the size of Flower to Smolder’s hand in the picture??? HOW? Tell me how, Tui!! How is this possible!! And don’t you dare tell me that “oh! Pantalan dragons are smaller than Pyrian!” Because that is just ludicrous to me. I will LAUGH at you if you tell me otherwise because that is just a cheap way to excuse any of this. There has NEVER been any quote of Luna or any other Silkwing, Hivewing, or Leafwing being significantly shorter than a Pyrian dragon. 

I should really cut to the chase but I’ve… never liked Tui’s writing. I don’t like that she avoids criticism of her writing. She has great ideas and is so creative in the world of WOF but for most works she’s either rushing it or coming up with something on the spot. And neither are good if they’re not thought out well enough! All of the endings to the arcs are bad and poorly thought out. The logic in how specific stuff works is just terrible. Arc 3 is just a NOTHING arc full of NOTHING characters (except maybe Snowfall and some of the Leafwings they’re… fine). I’m sorry but as much as I “pretend” to like WOF, and I REALLY mean it when I say “pretend”, but this book makes me get an aneurysm the more I really look deep into it. I am beyond terrified of looking into the guidebook because I KNOW there will be inaccuracies, confusion, and Tui slamming down whatever ideas she has without a second thought. I already know she put the weird and unnecessary mudwing mating rituals!!

Anyways, drawing that stupid blue and yellow rainwing later, I don’t want to go and look for her name now, goodnight everyone, don’t talk to me

[lonepantheress]

♡ txt as summer jobs

pairing: ot5!txt

genre: crack

warnings: completely unserious.

a/n: my inspiration? work has been kicking my ass and i thought it'd be funny if a shitty summer job kicked their ass too! will be updating with a REAL FIC so soon

Yeonjun

Works everywhere and is somehow always broke

It starts to freak you out

Like you see him as your cashier getting ice cream

And then he’s stocking shelves at the store and you’re like, “Oh, that’s weird..”

And then he’s your waiter at a restaurant

And you’re like, “?????”

He’s all cute and nice and hates his job(s) and is like, “I’m saving for a car!”

But he can blow through a paycheck in like a week. 

If he’s your coworker omg I could imagine him being the coolest person ever.

Willing to pick up shifts, is fun to talk to when it isn’t busy, and gets shit done when it is.

I don’t see him being like the manager type, but the type that all the managers love even when he’s being super lazy just because he’s charming.

Soobin

Really sweet barista at Starbucks 

The type that you run and tell your friends about after you see him because he’s so attractive and so nice

He hates his job though.

I could see him not being a manager but instead being a “team leader” which is basically a manager in training wheels.

Always stressed. Always saying, “I think I’m going to quit soon”

His ass is NOT quitting soon

Like- if he quit, his coworkers would probably cry

Constantly cleaning because he’s constantly knocking things over.

Any embarrassing customer experience? He can safely say he’s had it

Really good at saving his money well

Like… suspiciously good.

Beomgyu

Works at like Forever 21 or something

And using “work” here loosely because he never shows up

How he isn’t fired a month in? Who knows.

A stickler for his job title too

“Oh, so you’re like a cashier at-”

“I’m actually a style consultant.”

He’s just a cashier with a fancy name.

He will hide in between clothing racks and play on his phone or chit-chat with someone else

And if he’s on register, he’s really not paying attention to his surroundings

“Hi, are you able to check me out?”

“What..”

“Like, can I pay here?”

“OH, YES, RIGHT! I WORK HERE!”

Will tell customers all the workarounds and codes and coupons they can stack without them even having to ask.

His giving out company secrets will probably get him fired before him never doing his job.

Taehyun

Works at some fast food spot and wins management over in like a week.

So efficient, so smart, so practical, he gets promoted in record time

the embodiment of this meme I'm sorry

He’s genuinely very good at his job and not necessarily proud of it, just good at it.

And he’s only so good because he uses common sense.

The old ladies that come in love him and are like, “You remind me of someone I knew when I was in high school!”

Will not cover any shifts for the LIFE of him, he would actually prefer you call out before asking him to cover your shift for you

He’d also be so annoying to couponers. It’d basically become a battle of who knows the company policy better

GOD at saving money. Has a 401k and retirement and college fund.

Kai

Game stop employee

Like if you’re buying a game that he knows, you’re stuck for another half hour listening to him talk about it

He gets in trouble for stashing away things that get sold out quickly for himself

He’s actually so sweet to the nerdy little kids in the store

But he also would tell their parents, “This game has a lot of violence and gore btw!!!!!” before they buy it for their kid

As a coworker would have the most fucked up inconsistent schedule

Shows up every day for 2 weeks in a row

And then disappears

And then shows up every day again and you’re like “hello???”

Would initiate the oddest small talk ever while the store is empty

“Do you ever wonder if a little pebble in your shoe is actually your toe rolling around?”

“No….”

“Yeah, me neither.”

[edream93]

Thoughts on The Rise of Red

Okay, these are just my thoughts that I wrote down in my note app as I watched the movie.

SPOILERS if you haven't watched "Descendants: The Rise of Red" yet:

Uma crying talking about Carlos is definitely China crying for real. It’s definitely a plot inconsistency because as far as we know Uma and Carlos didn’t have any type of relationship outside of Mal but for China and the audience, I thought it was a touching nod to Cam.

Maybe it’s just me but I feel like over the past three movies we had gotten better with the wig situations and this movie felt like a bit of a step back for some of these wigs

The special effects in Red’s first song were pretty neat for a DCOM-adjacent movie 

Maddox is kinda cute…This man is 44!?!?! 😍

Paolo Montalbano 😍 My first crush! Honestly he and Brandy and China are the only reason why I’m watching this.

Still not a total fan of Cinderella’s dress. It’s giving royal moo-moo 

Brandy and Paolo are still cute together. Like not even in a romantic way but they are definitely co-actors that have great chemistry on screen together. Like it feels like they slipped back into their characters effortless.

I’m sorry Brandy but those shoes are ugly

OMG! Chad is their son!!! They really was like, the Prince Charming had a White dad and a Black mom so of course he and Cindy can have a White son 🤣

Is it me or are there already more songs in this movie than the previous? 

Maybe it’s because it’s the only second song but I definitely expected that they would have given Rita and Brandy more to work with

I know Dylan and Thomas probably have grown out of working with Disney but I at least wish they gave a throw away line about where Harry and Gil are. Like we know at least where Mal and the others are and that Carlos apparently died. Idk, the lack of Harry’s line in Uma’s song made me miss them.

You know, for all of the fuss they made about the magic wand, the fact that the Queen of Hearts can easily cut it in half is funny to me

Is this Aladdin and Jasmin they keep cutting back to? I didn’t keep up with the movie production before it came out so maybe them being in this movie shouldn’t be surprising 

“Now make me proud, for once,” is such a hard comment to hear from a parent.

Not Chloe’s wig changing randomly 🤣

The actress playing young Fairy G definitely looks like a younger actress of the original one. Good casting.

I feel like a lot of these songs are just sing talking. Like not really singing but just them talking and like I know they did that sometimes in the previous movies but it just feels…odd

….did Chloe’s wig change…again…???

It did….

Did both of their wigs change???

Honestly, I’m underwhelmed by the costumes. I know the same designer wasn’t on this movie but eh

Ella is like… “Mom? Who you calling mom?!??!” 🤣

I forgot that since this was before Auradon they probably would take classes about magic 

Bridget’s and Red’s outfits are so far my faves

Jaladdin 🤣

“If you wanna roll together we can be a vibe” 🤣

…..Chloe’s hair changed again….Is this just her face hair or something because it’s not the hair she had in the previous scene

Morganna’s son!?!? Didn’t expect that. Again, I have been so far removed from keeping up-to-date about the production of this movie

Oh I forgot Maleficent and Hades were together at some point. Guess I just thought that was an Isle boredom fling thing

I love how this movie totally negates anything that has happened in the original movies, at least in terms of how they happened. I honestly like to think of the OG movies as royal propaganda 🤣

Okay so I think there’s three wigs that Chloe has had, a regular, a slightly more volumized one, and then what my friend calls the “chia pet” one 😅

Chloe…NO! 😫

Honestly, this portrayal of Cinderella is kinda my fave. She’s been through a lot

Okay, should have known the VK songs would be a bop

Maybe it’s just me but every time I see Hades in this, I think he looks like Chris Colfer

I feel like this movie has so many special effects which isn’t bad, it’s just interesting because I feel like big special effects were saved until the last half/battle

WIG CHANGE AGAIN!

Paolo acting his butt off to the pay the bills

Oooo that was too far Red…

Wig change

Yeah, this movie definitely has a lot more songs…😬

Also…why is her wig longer when they’re gardening? 

Are there…are there FOUR wigs?!?!?!?!

Me snorting at the captions reading -hero music playing-

Morganna’s son is missing a few brain cells. Love him.

There’s 7 minutes left….what are they gonna do in 7 minutes!

Not the Queen of Heart’s hair blowing in the wind! 😊

I know it’s not that serious in this movie, but I wonder what’s the reasoning for Red never going to Auradon now that things have changed

I’m glad the Queen of Hearts is nice and all but there should definitely be a fanfic about how Red is trying to distinguish her old reality with her new. And no, it won’t be from me. I wipe my hands clean of this series. I mean it! I’m so serious! I totally don’t have any plot bunnies in my head now! Nope! None. At. All!

Wait! Uma! Are you implying there’s going to be some - GASPS- ramifications to the time traveling!?!?!?

Final thoughts:

Maybe it’s because I’m OFFICIALLY not part of the target demographic anymore but I kind of felt underwhelmed. Like the last three movies had things I wasn’t a fan of but there were at least songs, aspects, characters, that I was a fan of. Honestly, the only person I LOVED in this one was Maddox. If you liked this movie, that’s totally fine and I hope my thoughts don’t stop you from enjoying it. I hope you have all the head cannons and fanfic ideas and amazing energizing conversations with others in the fan. If they come up with more stuff with this series (which they probably will) I might tune in but I think this, plus that Pt.2 outline of WLTF that I still owe folks will probably be my last active contribution to this particular fandom. 

Anyway, my faves of Descendants: The Rise of Red:

Uma, even if she was just serving the purpose of narrator/handing the torch from one generation to the next

The nod to Cameron

Brandy and Paolo. I LOVE them on screen together.

I actually really liked Ella and hope to see the actress, Morgan Dudley in more things

Maddox was cute but I honestly always seem to have a thing for movie/TV mad hatters (points to OUAT and the SyFy mini series Alice) 

Things I’m “eh” about:

The WIGS!!!! And the costumes but the WIGS!!! Like, if this series continues they need to fix stat!

The songs were kinda forgettable. Uliana’s song at her hideout was kinda a bop and Red’s intro song is good too but everything else was kinda “bleh”

I also feel like we didn’t really get to know Red that well or maybe I was just too distracted by Chloe’s wig.

The plot and pacing. I mean, the OG Descendants movies weren’t perfect but I feel like they typically hit certain plot beats where, as much as you can with these type of movies, it feels like the stakes are high. I guess Merlin’s office being the scene of the last “battle” and then going back to their time just felt a little anti-climatic for me.

But anywho, those are my thoughts. If you don’t agree, that’s fine, just be polite, okay? 

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

I saw your post about book!Aegon and I kinda find it funny how the show didn't actually write aegon ii based on how he is in the book, but they instead took many charactaztions from Aerys the mad and Aegon the unworthy and mix it in one character in the show and called it a day. I am not even a fan of the greens in general but show!Aegon ii is colser to Aegon iv and Aerys ii than to book!Aegon ii

I'm sorry it took me so long to answer this anon!

There's a lot I could say about show!Aegon II and I struggle with this one because there's certainly some disconnect between the character as described by the writers and Tom Glynn-Carney, and how the majority of the viewers perceived him. I don't think the writers are intentionally borrowing from Aegon IV and Aerys II, but I do think that if they didn't intend for him to be a sadist or an irredeemable sack of shit, which is what they claim, the writers have been kind of careless as to how they go about that.

What's interesting is that I remember watching when the show first aired, and the reactions to young Aegon were quite positive going into episode eight. Young show!Aegon is quite entertaining (window wanking aside), friendly enough with the Strong boys (fans had not latched onto the whole "Aemond was a victim of lifelong bullying" narrative quite yet at that point), expresses quite clearly that he doesn't want to challenge Rhaenyra, is manhandled, yelled at, kicked, and slapped around by adults in almost every scene he appears in, is developing an alcohol problem at the ripe old age of thirteen, is betrothed much too young to his sister when he clearly doesn't want to marry her, and finally sees his brother lose his eye and gets thrown under the bus for it. Like, on a base level the show had built a lot of audience sympathy and goodwill towards him, and then they burned that goodwill in an instant with the Dyana scene, and then burned it further with the child fighting pit scenes (and boy they really missed the mark there because a good portion of the audience seemed to think Aegon runs the child fighting pits, or that he "forces" his bastards to fight there), which is such a bizarre choice. The time jump doesn't help. It's our first introduction to Tom Glynn-Carney's Aegon and his portrayal is just oozing with pathos (and really, hats off to him for that, he is the sole reason grown up show!Aegon is even mildly sympathetic) but there's so little screentime with him that it's hard to connect that kid asking his mother "do you love me" and crying at his own coronation (who is very much the kid who said he wouldn't challenge Rhaenyra and who said, "just look at them, everyone knows") with the same guy who supposedly watches child fights and rapes the maids.

That said, when you recall that the showrunners have reiterated the idea that the real conflict in the show is between Alicent and Rhaenyra and they want the show to center around them, it makes more sense in that those moments in episode eight are not really about Aegon at all, they're about Alicent. Alicent pays off Dyana, Alicent is angry with Aegon and says "you're no son of mine," and that leads directly to Alicent's attempted reconciliation with Rhaenyra-- she's fed up with this man child of hers and maybe the realm should just have a queen! Aegon is just a tool to get Alicent's character to a certain point that she never got to in the first place in the source material, a position Alicent almost immediately reverses because the source plot demands it. And this I think is one of the problems with HotD's inconsistent characterization overall, is that they're trying to fit characters into a narrative space that they weren't originally written to occupy.

And I understand that they were never going to make Aegon a protagonist, and that the showrunners are likely not likely gutsy enough to do a Succession style narrative where there is no protagonist but where Aegon and Rhaenyra are both equally flawed people, doomed from the start, but sympathetic enough that we can't help but hope against hope that they might escape that doom somehow. However, the Dance is a lot more tragic and compelling on a base level if Aegon is not a total villain but this very troubled guy who never really wanted the throne, feels backed into a corner because he doesn't want his family to die, takes the throne, and with each loss becomes increasingly convinced that he has to win. And they could still do this, but right now the vast majority of this audience just sees him as the rapist asshole brother (who is not even the good brother, that is Aemond who has studied the blade) stealing poor Rhaenyra's birthright for no reason except that he was manipulated by his lying evil mother and her lying evil father, and they see it as very very wrong and unfair since she is obviously a better person and would make a better ruler, just like Dany. To me, the latter is just not a compelling narrative, and I cannot imagine that the writers believe it's a compelling narrative either, so hopefully they get their characterization under control for season 2.

[asmamal-s]

LONG POST AHEDD :

Can't believe I almost forgot it was Edd Gould's birthday today lol.

Oh, it's a funny story how I first discovered his cartoon back in 2017-2018. I stumbled upon it through an animation meme made by an another artist, which raised my curiosity. I started watching the show, but back then I didn't understand English very well, so I only managed to watch 2 or 3 episodes of Legacy era and I was naive and focused more on the "fanon side" of the show where...uh y'know, tomtord crying fanart, EW angsty animations and these horribly written wattpad fanfics and etc. Fast forward to 2020 when I heard EW was coming back, I decided to dive deeper into it... and I mean by looking into the official old stuff. I found myself loving the classic episodes even more because of old style, music and flash animation quality, which brought back nostalgic memories of me watching flash animations on YouTube as a kid ( I never heard about Newgrounds I'm not sorry ) . Actually I was watching plenty of clay motion about sheeps or whatever. haha how innocent I was! That one flash video about a sheep that I watched as a kid too bad it became a lost media and i no longer can find it. Oh well, at least EW gave me a sense of closure about it haha.

Thank you Gould for creating this unforgettable show about those silly British boys (and tord for sure ) killing each other.

Decided to give some of the first drawings I made of his cartoon character and compare them over time. It's strange how much I've improved since then, and I'm really happy with the progress.

Warning: kinda cringey 

2021 no offence but ewwwwwwww  :

2022 (it was ok i guess) :

2023 (ngl he looks very weird here ) :

2024 (this year so far, my art is inconsistent, ignore it ) :

[theflagscene]

I love Phee’s dad trying his hardest to raise Phee right, something tells me he’s not going to approve of what is going on in the present with his son lol.

The inconsistency of the makeup department covering up Ta’s finger tattoo is so funny to me, because I genuinely don’t think the tattoo ties into the character at all, I think they were just trying to cover up Ta’s tattoo as he was playing a high schooler and then they stopped completely when he was supposed to be in university.

Oh so Non’s parents knew about Phee? Enough for Phee to call her mom and not auntie, so they knew they were dating or… what?

I fucking called it! First episode I said that Tan looked like he could be Non’s brother and it wasn’t even said that Non had a brother at that point lol, I just thought Mio and Barcode looked similar enough that they could play siblings.

I love that nearly 25 year old Ta (his birthday is soon 🥳) is having to call 19 year old Mio ‘Phi’ lol.

Did he really just ask his mother why she’s crying!? Come on Tan, you’re supposed to be the smart one in the family!

Okay so Tan isn’t an overprotective older bro, he feels guilty because he was just as absent in Non’s life as his parents were. Y’all suck!

Omg could you two look anymore sus!? Jesus. They’re just standing there and it’s like big ass red flags are already waving over their heads, also where did Tan stay while he was doing this act of subterfuge with Phee? Phee’s dad is a cop so I doubt he would just allow his son to move a random boy into their house, especially right after the crap with his missing ex-boyfriend. I don’t really expect Tan’s parents to notice he’s not back at university in England, they couldn’t find their own asses with both hands and a map. But Phee’s dad seems at least somewhat competent.

Put your shirts on boys, y’all look like rakes next to Ta lol.

Ohh, Jin’s got a crush, it’s lust at first sight. I mean, I get it, when I was in high school I would’ve probably had a crush on Phee as well.

Tan, you’re about as fucking subtle as a brick to the head. Which I know is exactly what you would like to be doing to them atm, but a little decorum my man.

Phee already is looking like the more sane out of the two, ngl.

Phee, Tan told you to become his best friend, not eventually fall in love with the dude.

And there’s the first time Jin dislocated his shoulder! Now the ‘again?’ comment by Phee when they fell out of the coffin makes sense, I was wondering about that tossed in line.