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extrashotodepresso · 1 year ago

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Hawks X Fem!Reader:

Blurred Lines

Warnings: SMUT DNI if not 18+ , somnophilia if you squint, unprotected (please don’t do this guys), some red flags here (but when you’re wearing rose colored glasses red flags look like flags)

As always, comments and reblogs welcome. If you don’t have anything nice to say- say it to the wall. Not my wall, the one in your room. Go to the corner and think about what you want to say to a stranger on the internet and what’s driving you to take out your ick on them.

Alright so I really wanted to write Hawks as not a dirtbag but just as like the cute lovable weirdo he is. Honestly… I struggled with this. I really just wanted to get this one finished and I just did what I could but if I can be honest- I struggled part way through and I’ll probably edit this eventually. It eeees what it eees.

Summary: Reader is neighbors with Hawks. They start a friendship that leads to more over time until they cross that final line. That’s it. That’s the fic.

The first time Keigo landed in your apartment, it was an accident. Actually, that’s how you found out you were neighbors with the number two hero. You wouldn’t have expected it; with his ranking, he was bound to have a fancy upper side Mustafu apartment, why was he renting in your shitty little neighborhood?

But questions you had at the sudden encounter would have to wait; he had rolled in from your open patio window missing feathers, covered in grime and blood. You had been cooking dinner at the time, and all you could do was stare dumbly at the man on your floor, tongs raised in your hand casually.

“Uh… you okay?” You asked, cringing immediately at how stupid you sounded. Thankfully, you heard a laugh before his arm slithered out from beneath him and he pushed himself halfway off the floor. He looked around your apartment for a moment, seemingly puzzled before his eyes landed on you.

“Just peachy, thanks for asking.” He groaned as he brought himself up to stand, feathers falling out of his wings and littering your floor among the rest of the debris. “Uh…” he stepped up and down carefully, his boots crunching in the grime. “Sorry about the mess.”

You shrugged. “Happens. Do you… um do you need any help or…?”

“Nah, I’m good.” The two of you stared at each other, neither really knowing what to say, the popping of fried chicken sizzling away in a pan being the only sound for a few moments.

“I think I live next door.” He said, looking around, the slight flush on his cheeks darkened as he reached for the back of his neck. Bad move, he immediately winced. “30C.” You nodded slowly, then returned to your chicken.

“It would appear you do.” You flipped the pieces in the pan, frowning a little at the bits that had burned while you were distracted by the hero hurdling into your living room. “28C.”

“Hawks.” He offered, gesturing to himself and seeming to wince afterwards at the obvious introduction.

“(Y/N).” You turned as you introduced yourself, moving the cooked chicken into a serving bowl and finally turning back around to face him when you were done.

“You don’t seem all that bothered, (Y/N).” His voice was light and pleasant and despite the strangeness of this encounter, you couldn’t help but feel comfortable in his presence. Must be a hero thing, you figured.

“Of all the crazy things in this city that could have crash landed in my apartment, a top hero is probably one of the better options.” You smiled wryly and he offered a sharp laugh.

“Fair enough.” He studied you for a moment. “I uh… I should get going then. Do you need any help cleaning up or…” you glanced at your floor, considering the state of him, it was pretty minimal.

“I can handle it, it’s fine. Seems like you had a rough day.” You offered a short sort of smile at this. He put his hands in his pockets, then after another awkward moment, walked towards your door. “You can come back for dinner if you want.” You offered as his hand closed on the doorknob. You didn’t know why you had offered, this was probably already the weirdest day of your life but something in you forced the words out before you could stop them. His face lit up, and you felt your heart thud thickly in your chest.

“That would be awesome! I’ll be honest, it smells amazing- just uh- give me a bit to freshen up, okay?” You nodded and he practically ran out of your apartment, before poking his head back in. “Don’t clean that up- I’ll get it, it’s the least I can do.” He pointed at the mess on the floor and you nodded before you heard him hastily enter his own apartment.

“Welcome to the neighborhood.” You muttered to yourself before setting up another serving of chicken to cook.

When he came back, he cleaned up the mess on your floor and even set the table while you finished cooking. It was strangely domestic of him. Your brain was still working to process the information of the past half hour. The nation’s number two hero had crash-landed into your living room and now the two of you would be having dinner. You chucked to yourself as you finished cooking and brought the food to the table. Weirder things had probably happened before, though you couldn’t imagine what.

“Thanks again for your hospitality.” Hawks offered with a stunning smile. You had been moving to sit down across from him, and your entire body froze for a second at the brightness of his expression.

“N-no problem.” You offered, lamely. As the two of you began eating, he seemed like he wanted to talk more, but your own shyness and hesitance to conversation made it difficult not to stagnate. You felt the sweat on the nape of your neck. Leave it to you to be unfazed by the bizarre yet challenged by the basics of conversation.

As he took a bite of chicken, his eyes grew wide.

“This is so good, (Y/N)!” He exclaimed. You thanked him, then couldn’t hold back the snicker that had been threatening to escape you. “What’s so funny?” He said, words partially muffled as his mouth was stuffed full of chicken.

“Bird hero, eating chicken.” You managed to explain. “Just… made me laugh.” He stared at you before bursting into laughter himself.

“Despite the bad PR it might get me, I’ll admit, it’s one of my guilty pleasures.” You smiled, glad you hadn’t offended him as you took a swig of your beer.

Conversation flew by a little easier after that. It seemed like Hawks was just as down to earth as his reputation would reflect. You learned that he had been your neighbor for about a month, but because of the nature of his work, you wouldn’t have really seen him around. Besides, he really only ever entered his apartment through his patio. That’s why he had landed into your living room; normally his door was the only one left open. You asked him why he didn’t live in some fancy huge building since he could clearly afford it and he shrugged, explaining that he wanted to be closer to the neighborhoods he actually served.

He asked you about your work, you explained that you worked from home; data entry, nothing nearly as exciting as his job. He politely nodded as you explained your work, he was even kind enough to ask questions and act like it wasn’t entirely boring. The two of you talked for a while about a myriad of things; favorite movies, heroes, books, restaurants- it seemed like you both actually had a lot of common ground. It was nice, you usually lived a pretty secluded life, having someone to talk to was more than pleasant.

After dinner, the two of you parted as unlikely friends and his visits over to your apartment became relatively frequent. He would stop by after patrols without any sort of announcement, and while the average person would be annoyed, you really didn’t mind except for that one time he barged in and you had just gotten out of the shower. Months like this passed, and you and Keigo made a habit of spending practically every night he wasn’t working together.

It was on one of these evenings that he came over and the conversational tone shifted.

“Why don’t you ever have any guys over?” He asked, suddenly. You had been distracted by the movie on the screen, some detective flick that had just come out, so it took you a minute to process the question. When you finally did, the mouthful of popcorn you had suddenly became stuck in your throat, leading you to practically choke.

Keigo’s eyes widened with concern as he pat your back, urging you to breathe before offering you some of the beer that was on the table. You gulped it down, panting before you responded.

“What?”

“I didn’t mean to startle you. Is it that strange of a question?” You looked at him incredulously, trying to search his face for any hint as to what he was thinking.

“I mean… it’s a little left field, Kei.” You offered before taking another drink.

“Why? You’re a beautiful woman, I’m surprised that you don’t have any other guys coming around here.” You felt your face flush red, your brain sputtered to find any sort of response.

“What?”

“Unless… you’re not into men?” His face grew serious. “I am supportive of whoever you want to love, I need you to know that.” You shoved him.

“Oh my God, Kei, what’s wrong with you?”

“What, there’s nothing wrong with being gay-“

“Of course there isn’t!” You practically shrieked. “But where is this sudden interrogation coming from?”

“I was just curious if you were seeing anyone.” He was pouting. “You never talk about it.”

“Of course I’m not!” You hit him with a pillow. “Why? Do you have some secret girlfriend you’ve never shared with me?” You stopped hitting him, for some reason the thought made you feel nauseated.

“No. You’re the only one I ever see.” He said, studying you thoughtfully.

“Well then, there you have it.” You hugged the pillow you had been using to hit him against your body. “We both have no life; love or otherwise so there.” You muttered, dragging your attention back to the TV.

“Guess so.” He said, thoughtfully. The two of you finished the movie in an awkward silence. You didn’t know quite what to say or do moving forward, so you stood with a stretch.

“I’m gonna go take a shower.” You said with a little yawn. “You can let yourself out or crash here. Whichever.” You tried to sound as casual as possible, but didn’t know if you quite succeeded.

Lately, there had been more and more nights when Keigo would stay the night at your house. The first time was unintentional, the two of you had fallen asleep on the couch after an impromptu movie marathon. The next time had been intentional, he asked to crash on your couch because he didn’t really want to go back to his empty place. In the morning, he had complained about his back hurting like hell, so the next time he wanted to stay over, you suggested you both share your bed. You justified it, saying that it was just like having sleepovers with friends in childhood- which led to a conversation about how Keigo had missed all sorts of things as a kid. You had been dedicated to giving him the experience, staying up late with snacks and Manga until the two of you crashed over the covers.

Since then, you hadn’t needed to do the entire sleepover experience, he just helped himself to your bed and the two of you had relaxed into your own routine with it. It seemed your relationship seemed to frequently evolve in a way that felt natural, no matter how blurred the lines were becoming.

Because of those blurred lines, and the conversation from earlier, your brain couldn’t focus as you showered. It didn’t help knowing that possibly in the next room was your insanely hot hero neighbor, waiting for you to come to bed. You definitely didn’t use your best body wash, or take the extra time to use a salt scrub on your skin, or spend a few extra minutes deep conditioning your hair while you shaved for the first time in months- that would have been insane. *cough*

By the time you left the shower and entered your room clad in a nightgown (also definitely NOT strategically picked over your normal tattered T-Shirt) ; you were pleased to see he had decided to stay. He was laid out on your bed, head towards your side, seemingly passed out. You crawled into bed carefully, sitting up for a moment simply admiring him before you snuggled under the covers.

As you studied his face, you reached out and caressed his cheek. Your thumb found his scar, tracing the flesh gently before it came to his lips. His mouth was so soft, softer than you would have thought and an impulse you couldn’t control took hold of you.

Your breathing had stopped. Almost in foresight of your plan- you had to know. You leaned in and softly brushed your lips against his in a gentle kiss. He didn’t move, but just the feeling of his lips on yours made your heart leap out of your chest.

When you pulled away, prepared to look over his face with satisfaction, your heart sank. His eyes were wide open and he was staring at you. Not just staring, his eyes practically burned into you. Your cheeks flushed, heart racing and you tried to speak but all that came out was a squeak.

“What a naughty little bird you are.” He said to you darkly. You felt the suffocating weight of your shame, and tore your eyes from him as quickly as possible.

“I-I’m sorry I just-“

“You what?” His voice was cold. You had fucked up.

“I wanted to know what it felt like… to… kiss you.”

“Well that isn’t gonna help you.” His voice was dripping with condescension. You looked at him in confusion before you felt him roll on top of you, grabbing your chin with his hand before taking your lips in a bruising kiss.

That flipping, over the moon feeling came back as his lips glided over yours, and when you felt his tongue drag across your bottom lip you groaned into him, happily obliging the escalation. His fingers tangled themselves in your hair, his other hand slowly finding its way to your back to pull you in impossibly closer.

When you felt like you couldn’t breathe, he finally parted from you.

“How was that?” His voice was raw, husky and you swallowed before shaking your head.

“No good.” You managed to let out between panting breaths. He looked almost hurt until you kissed him again. “Now I just want more.” You whispered into him and you could feel him shudder over you- the fluttering of his wings showing his pleasure in your statement.

“I can do that.” He growled into your open mouth, his tongue exploring yours just long enough to leave you breathless again before he moved his kisses lower. He kissed along your jaw, then down your neck and over to your ear, licking at your earlobe before biting it gently.

“Did you know-“ he whispered into your ear before moving his kisses lower. “That our bedrooms share a wall?” He licked the juncture of your neck and collarbone before taking a bit of flesh into his mouth and sucking on it. Your hands made their way to his back, clawing at his shirt helplessly.

“Oh yeah?” You tried to follow the conversation, but the heat from his every touch was beginning to be quite distracting.

“Mmhmm. And did you know that I can hear everything happening in this room?” You could feel the flush spread to your chest from your cheeks as his fingers deftly slid down the straps of your nightgown.

“Is that so?” You tried to sound casual, but you knew what he was implying.

He groaned again into your skin in response as his tongue explored the flesh of your newly exposed chest, slowly nudging the fabric down until your breasts were exposed. “Beautiful.” He said almost to himself before he sucked at your breast, tracing his tongue along your peaked nipple before biting down softly. You gasped, arching into him as your hand found his hair and your fingers laced into the roots.

“Keigo-“ you were panting, but his mouth continued its ministrations.

“Do you know how much self control it took for me to not come over here some nights? Hm?” He spoke into your skin again, then brought himself back to your lips, allowing one of his hands to continue the work his mouth had been doing. “Hearing you moan out so sweetly- never quite able to reach what you were looking for?” His hand traced down your torso, over the bunched fabric of your nightgown to between your legs.

As you felt the silky fabric drag up your thighs, your pulse quickened- you were simultaneously mortified and thrilled by the decision you had made getting out of the shower- when his hand touched your bare mound and his wings stretched out like they did whenever he was excited, you bit your lip.

“Nothing underneath?” His voice was feral. “You are a naughty bird.” His fingers wasted no time in spreading your lips, finding your clit with ease, he rubbed the bundle of nerves before sliding down to your entrance. “Soaking wet too.” He let out a little whine and the sound of it made you clench around nothing. “It’s like you did this all f’me.” When his fingers entered your twitching core, you thrust into his hand, urging him deeper, faster.

“I did-“ you managed to mewl as his fingers curled up inside you- “It’s all for you.” You were quickly becoming an unraveled mess, your breathing labored as you felt yourself nearing your release. Keigo kissed you again, all consuming passion and sloppy need and you felt a tear rolling down your cheek. The hand that had been at your breast came up to your face, his thumb wiping it away as he spoke into your mouth.

“It’s okay little bird, let go.” You nodded, kissing him again as you finally felt yourself break.

Keigo stroked you through your orgasm, gently caressing your thighs when you had control of your breathing again. You pulled back from him, looking into his face. His pupils were completely blown, looking fucked out already. His expression, which had been one of puckish excitement moments before, was now solemn. He kissed you once more, softly, before rolling away from you with a sigh. He laid flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling and you didn’t quite know what to say or do now.

The silence, though it lasted mere seconds, felt like a vast expanse of space in which nothing but your own anxiety existed.

“Keigo?” Your voice came out louder than you had anticipated, inadvertently causing you to cringe. He turned towards you then, bringing his gaze to yours before his eyes dragged down your half dressed body, nightgown still scrunched to expose most of you. A groan left him as he pulled his gaze away, his hand that had brought you to pleasure moments previously was now covering his grimacing face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’, angel.” He said, though it was entirely non convincing.

“Kei.” You repeated, rolling towards him, resting on your arm to look over his face. You pried his fingers off his eyes. “Look… I-I’m sorry.”

His eyes widened at you, but he said nothing. You worried at your lip, teeth pulling the tender flesh nearly to shreds. This was the first time you felt uncomfortable around Hawks. You didn’t just feel uncomfortable, you felt terrible. Like you had taken advantage of a friend, like you had finally crossed one of those blurred lines that was supposed to be sacred and unscathed.

“Sorry?” He repeated softly. “Sorry for what?” You tasted copper in your mouth- you licked over the flesh you had chewed open, trying to will yourself to stop the nervous habit.

“I shouldn’t have- I mean I wanted to, but it was wrong and-“

“Wrong?” Why was he just repeating after you? You suddenly felt too exposed, pulling back on your nightgown, you sat up and protectively covered your chest. “Did it really feel wrong to you?” Your eyes snapped to him.

“Of course not!” Your outburst ripped through the quiet that had been momentarily reestablished. “But- I- I shouldn’t have just- without asking- if I lost you I don’t know what—not that I have you- I mean-“ he leaned up then, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you towards him to kiss you again. You whimpered into him, a relieved sort of sob threatening to leave you at any moment. He licked over the rim of your lips, clearly he had noticed your habit too.

“If you want me to stop- you need to tell me.” He spoke into your open mouth. “But … I’m not going to be able to stop if we keep going and once we…” he readjusted, tensing, “there’s no going back, (Y/N).” He was severe again, pulling himself just far enough away that his gaze could transform from one big eye into two amber pools, threatening in their intensity. You said nothing, swallowing hard. “If we keep going, I’m never going back to what we were. I can’t.” You might have imagined the way his voice broke on the last word, the way he hitched his breath and let it out with a sad sort of groan, but it didn’t matter as your lips sought his again. You offered your acceptance to his terms, trying to show him with each glide of your lips just how you felt.

Hawks eagerly met each movement, descending with you into a new subspace, recently discovered but yet to be explored. His hands reached for your nightgown again, pulling it from your body before pushing you rather roughly back down. He peeled off his own shirt awkwardly, you hadn’t ever seen him maneuver in or out of his clothes before and despite the mood of the moment you couldn’t help but giggle a bit at how urgently he wrestled out of it.

“Hope you enjoyed laughing, little bird.” When he was finally freed, he looked down at you with a dark expression, a smirk playing at his lips clearly promising more than you were prepared for. “You won’t have time for that soon.” He lunged for you again, kissing you with a demand for compliance. His tongue bullied its way into your mouth, deftly exploring your taste. You could hardly keep up with his movements, his hands were all over you, claws raking down your back and pulling across your ribs before sliding up to grip your breasts. His fingers bullied your flesh, though you had never been handled so roughly you couldn’t say you minded at all.

“Kei-“ you tried to pant into him, his kisses moving towards your neck while your hands grasped for his sweats. You tried to pull them down, but his hand batted you away.

“No.” He spoke firmly and you bit your lip. The hand that had slapped yours came up to your chin, pulling your lip away from your gnawing teeth slowly. His tongue grazed over the wounded flesh again before he sucked at it, letting it fall from his mouth with a satisfying pop. He then moved down your body quickly, spreading your thighs open wide. There was not a part of you left unexposed; the thought that you were the only one in that position suddenly made you feel vulnerable.

You didn’t have to meditate on that thought for very long though, as Keigo lowered his head down to your core and immediately used his mouth to mercilessly drag you towards orgasm. It was too much too fast; the hero was known for his precision and speed- each pass of his tongue proving just how hard he worked to earn that praise. Your head crashed into the bed below you, back arching unnaturally as you let out a noise that could hardly be recognized as belonging to you. You exploded, fireworks bursting behind your eyelids, and though he could not have missed the fact that he had just brought you to your second orgasm that evening, his oral assault continued.

“‘S too much—“' you squealed, “K-Kei-g-g—ugh!“ you cried but he continued to spell his name over you, branding you with it, the burn almost too much to handle. When you truly thought you would die, he pushed his fingers inside of you, curling the digits up and hitting the spot he had found earlier so expertly that without you being even slightly prepared, another climax was ripped from you. He still didn’t give you a moment's rest, lapping up every drop you offered to him until he was satisfied. Finally, he stopped for a moment, sitting on his knees with his wings flayed out, casting a shadow over what seemed like the entire room. Your eyes shut, heavy with exhaustion as you attempted to collect yourself.

When you could breathe again, you realized he was now laid between your thighs, arms on either side of your face. He wiped tears you didn’t remember shedding from your cheeks and kissed you gently, slowly bringing you back to his plane of existence.

As your consciousness slowly reentered your body, you noticed the way his skin felt against yours. All of it. The realization that he had undressed completely finally dawned on you when you felt a twitch of hardened flesh at the apex of your thighs, prodding you as if requesting entrance. A high pitched whine left your throat and entered his mouth, the ridiculous sound causing him to grin into your kiss. Finally you understood his frustration earlier at your flippant laughter.

“You ready, angel?” He spoke into your mouth as he lined himself up with your core; you nodded dumbly into him though you weren’t even quite sure if you were in fact ready. You felt like a million exposed nerves; every part of you was hyper aware of every touch, stray breath and every bead of sweat gliding across your skin.

Keigo began to thrust inside you, exhaustingly slowly, his entire body over you shuddering. Your hands, which had been clenching themselves in the sheets before, came up to his shoulders, dragging down to the base of his wings. When you allowed your fingers to trace the fine feathers at the base of them he let out a sharp hiss before burying the rest of his length inside you in one sharp thrust.

There was no sound, at least not that you could remember after that, just the feeling of his tongue running against your throat while his hips ground into you. His movements were shallow, as if he was too afraid to leave you, like all he wanted was to figure out how to make the two of you one. Desperately, you tried to move in tandem with him, but every bit of him was so distracting. You felt every muscle in his back, tried to grab at his thighs and pull him closer to you. Seems you agreed that nothing felt close enough.

So lost in your own little world, you didn’t notice he had been talking to you until he bit at your ear to get your attention.

“Hmm?” You were delirious with contentment, never had you felt so absolutely complete.

“I’m close, angel- are you?” He panted into your flesh and you just turned your head towards him, looking at his flushed, fucked out face with a groan. You shook your head no, then tried to lace together words; something like ‘It’s okay, let go’ or ‘I’ve already been fucked stupid, I’m just a plaything now.’ But in the absence of further response, Hawks took your no as a challenge.

He readjusted his body beneath you, moving to sit on his knees, draping your legs on either side of him. The new angle hit even deeper, and you let out a high-pitched moan of his name. Keigo moved his hands to your hips and he began to pull and push your body, effectively using you like a living flesh light. The way he arched your back and manipulated your body had you nearing your final release and as you opened your eyes to see the way he was studying your every movement you felt yourself clamping down on him.

“Fuck-“ he groaned, head flying back, crimson wings splaying out again. He looked so angelic- so inhumanly beautiful. You grabbed your breasts, pulling at your nipples, just following every urge you had. “Sh-shit angel, just like that-“ his hips faltered for a moment. “Play with yourself- that’s it-“ one of his hands holding your hips rested on your lower belly, pushing down while he brought a thumb to your clit, adding the most delicious pressure until you found yourself unable to hold on.

“Fuck!” You screamed as you felt yourself finally let go- clenching him for dear life, trying to milk him of every last drop. Distantly, you heard the symphony of sound the two of you were creating; the accumulation of whimpers and grunts emphasizing your crescendo. When he felt you cumming around him, he collapsed over you, blindly pounding into your flesh before letting out a final groan of your name. A pleasant warmth spread through you, his hips continued to pump into you slowly until finally he fully stilled, offering you a slow, sensual kiss. His arms slithered beneath you, holding you tight in a hug before rolling onto his back, taking you with him and laying you on his chest.

The two of you were still connected and you distantly noticed that your breathing had synchronized. You were spilled over him like jello, unable to move but enjoying the gentle caress of his hands on your back and your hair. You felt yourself dozing off, feeling completely and irrevocably satisfied.

“That was well worth the wait, angel.” He let out finally. You simply hummed in response, eyes growing heavier with each passing moment. “We should really get you cleaned up.” He added when you didn’t respond. To this, you groaned.

“No. No move. Only sleep.” You spoke into him, words muffled with the way your cheek pressed into his chest. You felt the roll of laughter he let out through his abdomen, jiggling you with it.

“Come on.” He didn’t seem to be willing to give you a choice, giving a short slap to your ass before lifting you off of him without much ceremony, leaving you feeling empty. You whined at the absence of him but didn’t have the opportunity to protest when he swooped you into his arms and princess-carried you to your bathroom.

He sat the two of you into the bath, his wings draped over the back of your tub and your back pressed into his chest. It was a tight fit, and as he leaned over to turn on the water, he scrunched you forward and you let out a groan at the stretch on your sore muscles.

“Sorry, baby bird.” He whispered into your ear softly and you whined, the sound of his voice eliciting a pleasant flip in your tummy. He sent a feather to grab the washcloth you had hanging on your shower caddy and grabbed the bar of soap you had resting on the ledge of the tub before lathering it and moving it over your skin.

You melted into him, letting out a gentle sigh of contentment while you snuggled into him as close as humanly possible. Despite your protests, this was heavenly. Hawks kissed your hair as he continued to clean you, dragging the soapy cloth over your chest and down to your thighs. You ignored the way your body reacted to him, refused to acknowledge the way your hips raised subconsciously to his touch. You could feel his smile against your neck but neither of you spoke. This was tender intimacy.

When the tub was full, he turned off the tap and the two of you simply laid there for a while. Your hands found his and you played with them, admiring the way his fingers slotted between yours, dragging your touches over the dozens of tiny scars and calluses. It was a solemn reminder of the reality of his situation ; how vast the difference between a civilian like yourself and a hero like him actually was.

“Are you sure?” You asked him, abruptly.

“Hm?” He questioned you sleepily.

“About this, I mean.” You tried to figure out what it was you wanted to say. “I mean- where does this leave us? You said you couldn’t go back, so where do we go?” You tried to look back at him, but the stretch was too uncomfortable, so you simply laid the side of your face against his chest.

“What do you mean where do we go?” His hands, which had been limp in yours allowing you to explore squeezed your fingers, and he brought his arms in to hug you. “You’re mine. I’m yours. Simple as that.” You couldn’t help the furrow of your brow, you were thankful he couldn’t see it.

“But why me?” You asked, recognizing how insecure you sounded.

“I knew it was you the first day we met.” He said, with finality. You let out a giggle.

“It was the fried chicken, wasn’t it?” You joked. He laughed into you.

“That definitely helped. But I knew even before that.” The way he said this was so confident, so finite.

“What if- what if this doesn’t work out?”

“Not an option.” Again, he was so sure.

“What do you mean?” His grip released you and he didn’t offer you a response.

Instead, he leaned forward and pulled the plug on the bath, then picked you up again before resting you on the bath mat. Keigo wrapped you up in a towel before grabbing one for himself, then he disappeared into the other room.

“Kei?” You called out, awkwardly, not really willing to move. When he came back, he was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and had brought you your normal sleep T-Shirt.

“Yeah?” He asked as he stripped the towel off of your body and wordlessly dressed you. You felt like a kid but still complied with every silent request he made to lift your arms or move your hair. He picked you up again, apparently to him, you no longer had the need to walk, and he rolled the two of you into bed.

He had laid you down beside him, tucked you in snugly, and was leaning his head on his hand as he gently caressed your face, studying you like he was debating something. You were still awaiting his response to your earlier question, trying to compel him to answer with a slight glare.

“When I told you that I can’t go back…” he started, finally getting to the answer you needed, “I meant it. You’re absolutely everything to me.” He closed his eyes, laying down fully while he looked up at the ceiling. “You’re home to me, (Y/N). The only one I’ve ever had.” He faced you again. “I’m never going to let that go. Even if you wanted me to.” His face was a little frightening as he said the last bit, and while somewhere you recognized you should be concerned by his sentiments , you couldn’t feel anything but joy. You smiled, despite yourself and didn’t miss the confused expression on his face.

“Okay.” You simply replied.

“Okay?”

“I’ll be your home, Keigo.” You rolled the top half of your body over his chest and kissed him. “For as long as you want me.” You kissed him sweetly, then snuggled into his chest and closed your eyes, noting the rapid thumping of his heart in his chest and allowing the tempo to guide you to sleep.

When you woke up in the morning, he was gone, but he had left a single feather behind to keep an eye on you. You weren’t worried, or offended that he hadn’t said goodbye. You knew he would always come home.

#hawks x reader #bnha smut #mha smut #keigo smut #keigo x reader #keigo x you #keigo x y/n #hawks x you #hawks x y/n #bnha fanfiction #romance #hello neighbor #hot neighbor

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adelaidedrubman · 1 year ago

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some scattered thoughts on plagiarism and sharing creative space in good faith before i turn my phone off and walk into the swamp

so, this is a post i have avoided making for well over a year now. because i have spent well over a year minimizing, excusing, and trying to convince myself that i’m crazy and just imagining things. even more so, convincing myself that it’s worthless to talk about, because even if i talked about it, no one would particularly care, and i would only cause myself more heartbreak by officially confirming that.

but the past few days in fandom have dredged up a lot of things for me and made me reevaluate. i’ve found immense reassurance from seeing how ready and willing everyone is to band together to keep the community safe from those entering with the intent to copy the work of others rather than creating their own. i won’t lie, seeing that unity and mobilization on my dash was at times bittersweet when it was interspersed by reblogs from someone who’d plagiarized me.

but i also took the opportunity to move past the hurt and remember this is a community — seeing others have the courage to come forward and talk about the plagiarism they’d experienced inspired me to open up to more and more friends in private about my own experiences, and i cannot describe to you how relieving it has been to find myself validated and supported. sincerely, to everyone who has lent me an ear over the past few days, i appreciate it more than you know. i’ve been brought to tears several times, and feel like i now have the strength to talk about this.

this is also a post i have backspaced on several time, because. well. frankly it’s difficult to even allude to the vague category of most obvious thing that was stolen from me without this amounting to a de facto callout post, which isn’t my intention so much as getting out my feelings and hopefully opening a dialogue about the lasting harm plagiarism does.

so. i’ll just start by saying one of the most hurtful things about plagiarism is that it destroys the implicit trust that everyone is entering a creative space in good faith. most of us don’t come into fandom and oc communities preemptively guarded and ready to go looking for instances of plagiarism, and are far more likely to perceive things as incidental overlap than malicious theft even under circumstances where the latter is more likely. personally, it didn’t even initially set off alarm bells for me when i saw an oc with jestiny’s exact design plus color contacts and terf bangs also sharing prominent symbolism utilized in her story.

my first instinct was to be welcoming and supportive in the spirit of celebrating that creative minds can find inspiration from the same sources. even as the symbolism began less and less to in any way resemble the context of said source material and more and more to resemble the version of the story i told, increasingly picking up elements that weren’t in the original but were sure as hell in my fic. in fact, i went as far as to offer resources on the source material in hopes that it would motivate the person to dig into it and find a way to make it their own, still hoping this was a case of overstepping taking inspiration at worst.

it was after pushing my goodwill that far and giving an out only to then see another of my most well-known scenes copied down to my exact wording and pacing that i got the nerve to block.

and i was naïve enough to think that would actually end it — hurt as i was by what had already happened, at least it was over.

nope.

even after blocking, i went on to see the scraps of another of my most well known scenes lazily repackaged. (i can forgive ripping off jestiny, but i draw the line at sullying poor daniel’s memory. he’s been through enough.) in fact, it continued incessantly enough that i have had multiple people independently send me screenshots of the same passage from within the past month commenting on how blatant it is.

it should go without saying what a violation this was of my boundaries and my creative labor. every single aspect of jestiny’s story is deeply personal to me, both because of the extensive effort i have put into researching and crafting it and because of the pieces of my own experiences and emotions its founded in.

but more than that, what sticks with me is the violation of the implicit trust and vulnerability that comes with choosing to share a creative work. i stretched my benefit of the doubt to its limits at the expense of my own mental health, i assumed good faith and tried to make space, and when i could no longer endure i quietly isolated myself rather than risk sowing discord or simply being a bummer in a fun time space. it made me no longer feel safe sharing works that were especially personal. the pain of the experience was one of the primary reason i put wildfire on indefinite publishing hiatus despite still loving the story and greatly enjoying continuing to write it in private.

still, after the past few days and my own slow process of opening up, i am beginning to develop a renewed hope that we can act as a community and look out for each other. i still genuinely want to think we can by and large share creative space in good faith, and that people coming forward will leave us more ready to identify and deal with bad actors when they do pop up.

and i have hope that i can heal and find ways to be open and vulnerable with my work again. that might mean soon thinking critically about how to curate my fandom experience in a way that will minimize having plagiarism thrown in my face, but for now that’s still a problem for future liz.

for today, i just want to thank anyone who has read this far (y’all know i’m bad at shutting up). i’m still not ready to be super detailed in public, but if anyone wants to know more about the 5 ws and 1 h, you’re welcome to dm me — although i might be slow to respond right now, because i wasn’t being hyperbolic with the title. i am going to be on a camping trip in the swamp the next few days, and might not be online much.

i am excited to have the time to unplug and reflect, and look forward to coming back recharged. until then, please know i am so thankful for all of you, from the bottom of my heart.

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voltrixz · 7 months ago

Text

Fine ok I’ll go on a whole ass really long electroshocker ramble that’s really really gay

You can blame @canadian-pug-cartel

(Also this might be extremely incoherent, idk I’m just yapping at this point )

Ok I think when they first met with the first time the s6 formed, electro took a small interest to shocker. Sorta developing a small guy crush (or smt like that ) where he’s mostly in awe of shocker and kinda looks up to him, finds him cool and whatever. I guess the best way to put it is the initial guy crush or whateevr thing that deadpool had for Spider-Man when they first met (just less gayer and way smaller in scale because electro could never compete with the levels of homosexuality that Deadpool is dealing with ). But yeah that’s why I think in the sewers when shocker asks soemthing about how they;re gonna defeat spiderman, electro tries to show off his powers but like instantly fails and gets chewed out by doc (most failcringe bisexual….).

Shocker funnily enough doesn’t really think of that interaction much (at the moment he just thinks huh. Weird. And just moves on )but I think it’s funny to think that interaction haunts electro for a while… (biggest embarrassment of his life bro.)

Anywayssssssss, from that moment on the fact that like shocker and electro have similar powers and shocker can help electro train his powers more, doc ock decides to partner them up a lot. This lets the 2 to grow closer and also only furthers the supposedly straight guy crush that electro has because shocker to me would be the type to be very comfortable with physical touch/contact with people he’s close to (and besides he would have to get pretty close to train him,(I saw a post that showed this really well I’ll reblog that after this maybe ) and of course electro is freaking out because he has not felt the touch of another man in years…(and he’s very obvious about it because his sparks are going crazy) shocker however doesn’t take the hint (yet at least)

But eventually electro does get over the totally straight award guy crush and starts being pretty comfortable with shocker. Which makes him become wayyyyy more comfortable with psychical touch/contact, leading for the two to be very comfortable in each other’s space. They’re constantly leaning on each other and what not.

Also forgot to mention that throughout this whole Time shocker is slowly taking more and more interest in electro. Picking up on his body language and such (shocker rlly likes looking at electro’s sparks move and zap, hearing the buzzing and watching his eyes glow or dim) , just observing a lot (he likes observing electro a lot I think ), he finds him weird (reference to that one comic of seeing electro just chow down on a bunch of wires) but also very intriguing

Anywaysss as they get closer shocker’s interest in him grows more and he realizes that such interest is making him feel certain things (gay things. Fag.) and this is also when he puts two and two together with why electro got so nervous around him before. Course electro doesn’t get as nervous anymore but shocker does sometime catch it and he wonders if electro still does like him in that way (he still does btw it’s just veryyyy Lowkey), but yeah as they grow closer, more and more of these feelings keep bubbling up, shocker even hangs out more with the s6 and let’s them come to bar more often yadda yadda.

Oftentimes electro comes by the bar alone and shocker is always glad to see him (often refers to him as his favorite regular ) and the two hang out a lot in the bar even after closing time. They also hang out a lot of the bases’ rooftop (if it has one) and here are where things get gay unfortunately…. (Sorry I’m homophobic ), they ever so slowly try to push what they;re usually used to. They occasionally drop small flirts with each other and their usual touch is far more intimate (such as shocker placing a hand on electro;s face and even fully cupping his face at some point )(how tHE hell these 2 not figured out they’re both into each other I have no idea). And oftentimes the 2 brush it off, eiether switching between being oblivious or thinking it didn’t mean much. But their relationship is very much changing in some way. the two clearly see each other more then jsut friends (and so can the s6 at this point who are so sick of their back and forth ) and there’s a shit ton of pinning but none of them say anything or do anything to confirm that.

On shocker’s end he’s not even sure how to approach this, nor does he even know if he can because while tombstone and his crew are on good terms with the s6, that might not always be the case and he has to make sure whatever he has with electro doesn’t get in the way of his work. On electro;s end we know his shitty track record of relationships and how he handles them so a potiental romantic one could go up in flames, and also there’s that lingering self doubt that makes electro believe that’s there’s no way shocker likes someone like him when shocker could literally have anyone he wants (electro and his crushing self confidence sigh.)

But eventually they do get together. Sorta. (Situationship babey 🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️) and it happens impulsively I think. Some night alone at the bar and shocker reaches for electro’s face and then suddenly leans in to kiss him. Electro kisses back of course and that’s when the two finally get confirmation that yes the two very much into each other. But there’s not much said, just a silent understanding of not being completely sure of putting a romantic relationship label on what they have, but as long as they can do more of this (kissing and whatnot and just generally being more intimate with each other ) that’s all they really need. So wooo situationship, they still do a lot of things they did before (being very comfortable in each others space and leaning on each other yadd yadda ) but there’s a lot more intimacy within them (gay shit booooo boooooo I hate gay people in love boooo booo ) but yeah 👍👍👍👍

And then shit happens in the merc electro au and there’s a breakup or whatever, mega angst time babey 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️

#THIS IS SO FUCKIN LONG FOR NO REASONNNNN #sigh. unfortunately i am a certified yapper...#THING IS I CAN ADD SO MUCH MORE.#but i shant. for now at least.#voltrix rambles #long post

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rnisa · 2 years ago

Text

I posted 2,414 times in 2022

That's 2,375 more posts than 2021!

343 posts created (14%)

2,071 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@13eyond13

@nateriverswife

@natelove

@rnisa

@balsemicvinegar

I tagged 797 of my posts in 2022

#death note - 506 posts

#p - 72 posts

#l lawliet - 68 posts

#death note x reader - 63 posts

#light yagami - 63 posts

#ask - 62 posts

#near - 51 posts

#anon - 51 posts

#misa amane - 46 posts

#beyond birthday - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#ryuk then says ''you seem to be enjoying this light'' and light says ''not really (because i leave the death note here at home)''

My Top Posts in 2022:

death note x mind reader!reader

Howdy, and thank you for my first DN request! Oooh, this is a cute idea. No specific characters were listed, so I'm just going to do whomever I happen to get ideas for. And no pronouns asked so reader will be gender neutral.

Death Note Characters on Dating Someone Who Can Read Minds

★ Reader has Gender Neutral Pronouns

★ SFW

꒷˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒦︶꒷꒦˚꒷˚︶˚︶︶꒦꒷

L Lawliet

★ Assuming you don't make it obvious and tell him, "hey, I can read minds!" and are careful what you say, you will still find yourself having a hard time laying low with L around.

★ A lot of this depends on who you are and how you act, so I'm giving only one take on it

★ If you are reading L's mind and you say out loud something that he was getting to, it won't stun him right away.

★ But if this happens consistently, repeatedly? That will strike his curiosity. "...Yes. That's just what I was about to say," he'd tell you, all the while his eyes not leaving you.

★ If you're trying to get his attention, then not being subtle is definitely the way to go.

★ He might be paranoid; he knows something's up. Was he just getting too predictable? This could be worrisome for him.

★ Sure other people are able to figure out what L is thinking from time to time, but to repeat his thoughts, word for word? Now it was just getting very, very strange.

★ L jokes and calls you a mind reader. You just giggle. No confirming nor denying it.

★ So L decides to test his theory - it wasn't so hard, really - he decided to try and trick you, and himself, into thinking something, but then saying something completely different.

★ "So, can you really read minds? Or do you just have incredible intuition?" After some pressure, you come clean and admit that you can in fact, read minds. No wonder you didn't say it - most would think you're crazy. But L, being himself, is a bit unorthodox himself.

★ He then requests that you repeat each and every thought he has over the course of a minute, and you agree. Each moment L gets more and more intrigued. He's a fair mix of being confused, and shocked but it doesn't show.

★ After it's been completely proven (even with him going so far as to think of an obscure childhood memory there's no possible way you could have known otherwise), and once he's satisfied with confirming this 100%, he would think about it for a bit.

★ I can see him requesting you for help every so often with a case or problem. Although "mind reading" isn't sound enough evidence in court, it could definitely be useful in getting information out of criminals. Without you have to interact with them, you could potentially help tip off L and give him important information.

★ To be honest I feel like being with someone who is a mind reader 24/7 would be frustrating for L. He's very mysterious and leads a very private life. Having that wall is important to him as is protecting himself - if you were able to read into his mind constantly ai think that would leave him feeling vulnerable and uncomfortable.

★ However with trust, it may be possible.

See the full post

237 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

NSFW Death Note Headcanons

content warnings: hard kinks and fetishes - there may be content you do not like to see. if that’s the case, don’t read it if you cannot separate fantasy from reality. i am entirely self-projecting LOL

characters included: Light, L, Misa, Near, Mikami

a/n: i headcanon every charatcer as bisexual = me projecting again, but i genuinely don’t really care about sexualities much. but you can h/c them as whatever you like when you read. very few headcanons may be gender-specific! if one doesn’t apply to you then just skip over. important: assume these are all kinks between healthy individuals that have discussed it prior. you can be kinky & healthy. consent is sexy. if you can’t understand that, then i don’t know why you are still reading...

˖ ⁺ .︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦˖ ⁺ .

Light Yagami

★ I gave my content warnings, so I mind as well do the worst of them first: Light has a misogyny kink for sure. He doesn’t really hate women; it’s about the power dynamic.

★ He very much craves control, and it gets him off. As such he likes most kinks where there is a power dynamic.

★ He swears he isn’t into petplay, but Light would love to have you leashed up, tugging on your collar to pull you closer to him. Whether he just does it for the heck of it, or he’s using it to push himself deeper into your mouth, he loves it.

★ Not into being called “d addy” or anything, but he loves being called “Sir,”.

★ Light is very good at what he does, I would never want to hurt you so much, but he thinks you could do with some ‘gentle’ choking.

★ Loves to manhandle his partners: he’s pretty strong, so between throwing you on the bed and picking you up to f uck you against the wall, expect to be moved around like a doll, a bit.

★ Prefers the “reward” system. If you’re “good” and do as he says, he will in turn reward you with the things you want.

★ If you’re “bad”, he will consistently edge you and refuse to let you cum.

★ If Light was extra satisfied, you will be rewarded in cuddles without you needing to ask him.

★ Good/Not Kira Light will have mostly similar kinks but actually be loving and gentle with you during the daytime.

★ With prior consent, he would ask if you wouldn’t mind waking each other up by doing something sexy. I.e., you touching him to wake him up in the morning, and him doing the same for you in return.

˖ ⁺ .︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦˖ ⁺ .

L Lawliet

★ L’s libido is honestly very low.

★ His kinks are a bit more... unique? Just like he is, I suppose.

★ L would love to just watch you play with yourself - whether he’s in the same room as you or watching you through cameras, or a hole in the wall - sometimes he will touch himself, other times he will not.

★ He gets his spiciest usually when you’re the most tired, for some reason. 1-4am are peak h orny on main hours for him.

★ Loves to tease you in public, subtly. If you’re sitting next to or across from him and he knows he can get away with discreetly touching you underneath the table, he will. He won’t have an expression, but you will.

★ Really, really likes phone s ex. For him touch is great and all, but the most important thing is the buildup. L likes a lot of unique kinds of foreplay.

★ Foot f etish. No I don’t have one but that shit’s funny as fuck.

★ Most of L’s enjoyment, as I said before does come from foreplay. He enjoys touching you the most with his hands, he loves to tease you to see his reaction.

˖ ⁺ .︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦˖ ⁺ . Misa Amane ★ PEGGING!!! Misa loves to peg, or get pegged. When she’s in a more dominant mood, she loves the idea of someone much bigger than her being the submissive one.

★ Now Misa is a switch, hands down.

★ Bottom? Top? She will switch right in the middle sometimes.

See the full post

244 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

Hey! Idk if you write for the Wammy’s house boys (L, Near, Matt and Mello) from Death Note, but if you do, could I request them (separately) with a S/O who is really clumsy, and gets hurt a lot?

Hello friend! Thank you for this cute request! Absolutely, though to be honest I can't really remember a whole lot about Matt! I'm in the process of rewatching & re-reading the series after maaany many years and I don't wanna half-ass it! So for now I will just right for the other three, and I'll try to do something for Matt in the future once I have a better understanding of him. I hope this is okay and that you are able to enjoy the rest, regardless! ˖ ⁺ .︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦˖ ⁺ . ˖ ⁺ .︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦˖ ⁺ . Wammy Boys x Clumsy Reader

Mello ★ He actually cringes whenever you happen to fall down. He doesn't like seeing you get hurt, but it also annoys him because it makes him worry too much.

★ Mello's a bit dramatic (hurrhurr) and might make a bigger deal out of you falling than it needs to be.

★ He will most definitely scold you, raising his voice a little; "Why can't you watch where you're going?! Be careful, you're gonna give me a heart attack."

★ If need be, Mello will bandage you up and tend to your wounds - cleaning them, as he continues to scold you and complain for you getting hurt in the first place.

★ He's not mad because it's an inconvenience to him or anything, he just feels bad.

See the full post

366 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

Thinking about Near in the Razer Kitty headset...in pink...yeah he'd definitely wear that.

635 notes - Posted September 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Light and L on a sleepover with their s/o? 🥺♥️

This is so cute and wholesome eeep! I'm assuming this is meant to be separate? Just let me know!~ I'm not sure during what time you wanted Light's part to be in, since he changes so dramatically throughout the show. So I'm writing this when he enters college. He's still a mass murderer but he's still very much human by this point in the story so it just made more sense to me. I was assuming you wanted something more on the wholesome side ahaha. I hope that's okay! If you wanted something darker feel free to ask again with Light after L dies.

L and Light on a Sleepover with Their S/O

˖ ⁺ .︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦˖ ⁺ .

Light Yagami

★ Light actually didn't want you to sleep over at his home - it's not that he didn't want you there, it's moreso he was worried about what his family would think.

★ Sayu would eavesdrop and "ooh", and "aah", and give their mom a play-by-play of what she could hear happening.

★ Mama Yagami wasn't particularly happy with it... sure, she liked you, a lot! She was actually counting the days for when you'd become Light's partner, his first serious real relationship. However...like any parent, she just didn't like the thought of her kid doing anything like that! Despite being a grown man, she would still baby him.

★ One day, you were over Light's house and spent several hours there. Playing video games was your treat after you did good on the mini-quiz he gave you after helping you to study.

★ The two of you sat on his bed - which made you nervous, despite dating for a few months, you were still too ne - and listened to the rain as you watched a cheesy crime show.

★ You were supposed to leave by the time it got dark, however the gentle rain turned into a horribly loud and destructive storm, and it was no longer safe for you to sleep over. Light was happy about this, in a way, because now you had no choice but to stay over. Sayu and his mom couldn't tease him about you sleeping over if you're literally forced to be there, right?

★ He's amused by you being scared of the weather, and happily plays the tough boyfriend role. He tells you it's nothing, but lets you snuggle up to him nonetheless.

★ Light uses this to his advantage for you to get more comfortable with him physically, because he wants nothing more than for you to be all over him.

★ Naturally, when it's time for bed you use the guest room (do they have one? I'unno, but for story purposes I'm saying they do). You clean up, and borrow one of his t-shirts to use as nightwear.

★ Light knew you'd come crawling to his door once everyone was asleep - the lightning was just too scary for you alone in that room by yourself. He smirks when he hears his door creek, you sheepishly standing there and complaining that you can't sleep.

★ And that's the first time you spend the night together! Now if you're DTF then Light absolutely is. He wouldn't instigate or push anything, but he would gauge how you feel about it and take it from there. lmk if you want a nsfw continuation 👀

See the full post

843 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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souljellied · 2 years ago

Text

What ADHD looks like for me

I've been doing some journalling lately trying to process this late diagnosis of ADHD and explain to some close friends. I wrote out this list and was surprised to realise some of the ways I've masked which I hadn't even thought of as being related to ADHD. I thought putting this out there might be useful for anyone looking at signs and symptoms and trying to make sense of their own experience.

Feel free to reblog and share your own experience in comments/tags!

For me, ADHD is this:

Too many thoughts all the time, no way to switch them off

Constant low-key, maddening existential boredom - never fully able to engage with anything

Constant low-key irritation and frustration…

…Which blossoms easily into overwhelming rage

Intense, uncontrollable, unregulatable emotions that escalate quickly

Loud, chaotic energy

Inability to focus

Daydreaming and trapped in my own head often

Thinking, doing and feeling a million things at once

Lots and lots and lots and lots of hobbies

Periods of intense, uncontrollable hyperfixation

Over-analysing and over-thinking

Addicted to my phone

Binging on food, alcohol, sex

Missing very very obvious social cues a lot of the time

Trouble with eye-contact

Inability to think long-term

Inability to form habits

Inability to sit still

Talking over people

Talking too fast

Forgetfulness

Impulsive behaviour

Periods of overwhelming depression and suicidal ideation

Forgetfulness

(Hehe, see what I did there? Seriously though, forgetting really obvious stuff, all the time)

Time blindness

Compulsive nail-biting, hair-pulling, skin-picking

Disordered eating

Sensitivity to textures

Executive dysfunction (i.e. knowing you NEED to get up and do something but being physically unable to)

Only able to function under a certain level of anxiety or panic

Exhaustion, needing frequent naps to ‘reset’ my brain

Difficulty prioritising tasks and staying organised

Difficulty working on long term projects

Difficulty making decisions

A deeply internalised sense that I was most likely going to fail or get off-track before I even started a task

Stimming

For me, ‘masking’ (hiding the above symptoms in order to be Normal) looks like this:

constant lies about why I forgot stuff, scrambling to cover up mistakes

staying awake all night to complete things at the last minute

over-exercising so I’m tired enough to sleep

drinking alcohol so I’m tired enough to sleep

putting off errands for ridiculous amounts of time and telling people ‘oh I was just too lazy lolololol’

masking with self-deprecating humour

writing every single little thing on a to do list from ‘brush your teeth today!!!’ to ‘work deadline 2PM’

self-harming in order to regulate thoughts and emotions, and to punish myself for my failures

pretending I didn’t care about the deadline or event or whatever that I missed out on anyway

making ‘chaotic and crazy’ my entire personality because it’s easier to do that than admit to the guilt and shame

isolating myself so that no one can get close enough to see how fake everything is

taking on Team Leader roles to create that same distance and give a sense of control/purpose to my interactions

arriving super early to things so I’m not late

hiding things I’m interested in because they’re unconventional or weird

staying quiet so I don’t interrupt people

sabotaging relationships

forcing my stimming into more appropriate verbal/physical tics

obsessively checking my phone for free dopamine hits

avoiding situations where I might not be able to hide my illness

chronic perfectionism and high standards

double and triple checking *everything* to avoid mistakes

#actuallyadhd #soul has adhd #adhd

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jbird-the-manwich · 2 years ago

Note

just saw and reblogged your post about curses but i have a few questions!

what are witch bottles? are they like spell jars for protection? how can we protect ourselves better both from a spell backfiring and in general? what are your favorite methods? also, what is your thoughts on "karma"?

would be very glad if you answered my questions! additionally i want to make a spell jar for the upcoming month but i don't know what should i focus on, any recs?

Sorry this sat so long. Crazy times.

Yes. Witch bottles are a very old and very basic form of apotropaic device. Generally, but not always, intended to either protect a home or break a spell believed to be cast by a witch. Time was, they were more or less layfolk devices intended to guard *against* witchcraft but these days many that identify as witches use them for personal protection of self and or household. Depending where you look you can find very interesting recipes that tend to follow trends depending on region and era with assorted notes about useful ephemera. The most well known is generally the urine of the affected party in a bottle with bent pins and sometimes rusty objects. The rationale being that the urine, if cursed, links to the offending witch and the pins ensure she suffers horribly. sometimes tangles of thread are included to confuse the witch or their spell, basically, if you can come with a reason to put a thing in a bottle, somebody has, and said it was lit 100 fam. Some versions advise suspending said urine bottle over a fire and boiling it until it bursts, assisting in the breaking of whatever spell it links to or adding to the suffering the witch feels for daring to dream a madmans dream of a dirty bitch getting what they deserved. For obvious reasons I find them inhumane and prefer to send a nice holiday card that says "Please lift the curse daddy" instead. I'm kidding, of course. I just show up at their house.

For general protection, my best advice is carrying some sort of weapon - check your states laws to see what's legal in your area and the areas you frequent for statutes detailing exactly what objects are legal to carry open and concealed on your person or in your vehicle in your state. Many adorable weapons are available now. I have a plastic bulldog on my keys that's actually a pair of fuck you knuckles! And it's perfectly legal in my state! Don't come here though. We have enough tourists. magically speaking, I think a pair of fuck you knuckles dedicated to mars would be pretty hard to beat. especially if you don't have an electric mixer.

To answer your question about karma, I'm a white guy, so that's none of my business. But if you mean, do I think the universe keeps track of whos done me wrong and is working to fuck them as we speak, I'd have to say, no, and, if I did, why do witchcraft? I have a dried lizard, (that I found, dried, obviously) right now, in a jar of salt that smells like death. Why would I need that?

if the "universe" was "vibrating" the "tits off my enemies" because I "rise and grind"?? riddle me that. why did firefly get one season and why did joss whedon have to be so gross to women and make all the marvel movies suck harder than marvel movies already did if karma is real in the way other white peoples facebooks tells me it is?? Why is captain america???? Like in general?? If "source" is up there with my higher self "motorboating my butthole to the rhythm of lady marmalade" because thats the song my soul picked when I was dead before??

If you're asking if I believe any spell I cast, comes back to me, on one hand, that's literally the point of casting, because I want something out of it. I ain't doing this shit for my health. I don't even particularly like to be alive. On the other, to my mind, it really, really depends on how careful I am when I go sprinkling that lizard. Hear me out.

Do I want this spell on me? If yes, I proceed. If not, I do not get it on me. and am very careful to wash it off after. Similarly, I really just don't think much about it. Morally I don't see a damn thing wrong with wearing a certain mixture if one has a date coming up regardless of how much fake ass lucky mojo doves blood duoprime #70 is in it.

The older I get the more insular, and I tend to just let almost everything slide off my back before I try to use magic on anyone unless the crime is genuinely something that needs to be addressed and punished immediately.

If I am using magic on another person without their consent, It's 100% a curse, and I don't do anything unless I feel they truly deserve it. Offending my sensibilities, forgetting my birthday, calling me names, making fun of my outfit, any of that kind of stuff and Ill really just hex you straight to death. abracadaver or however they say it in those gay little books that keep making people think they wanna be witches when we have to stop to pick up every other dead lizard. but I digress.

If I *know* they deserve it, I don't worry about blowback because if they get what they deserve, I should get what I deserve, which is obviously good things, obviously. I'm helping karma not need to be real by hexing people, right? So I should get something out of it. so can I borrow 20 dollars?

As for your last question, I don't know what month it is where you are, but here it's april, so, if I was gonna do an april themed spell jar, personally, I think I would work something up to help key my intuition up to lead me to useful herbs in the wild, since, it's spring and lots of plants I refuse to tell you about are coming up right now.

thank you for your questions

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littleblackwing · 2 years ago

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Haha, making a blog-post on my tumblr other than just reblogging all the good stuff? What is this? Well, anyway, I just wanted to share some thoughts and it felt like twitter is not the best for this.

Soooooooo... I started learning Japanese! And your first thought might be “oh yay, good for you!” or “you are crazy” and I agree with that. I feel crazy but at the same time I’m curious, scared, overwhelmed and lost sometimes, I’m also motivated and I feel all sorts of different emotions. It’s going okay so far, I started last weekend and by now I know all hiragana/katakana (with katakanas I still don’t know all the combinations but oh well...). Also, the added challenge is that I’m doing this with English resources and obviously I’m not a native speaker but I think I can manage it somehow (since the resources in Hungarian are just... kinda crappy and old school, sigh...).

I want to document this journey a little bit so I hopefully won’t lose my motivation or goals. Although documenting is a pain and so is learning something new. Because let me tell you... I’m the most curious person about things but if I lose interest or something else happens... I tend to procrastinate and not just for a shorter time but for longer (or I just lose interest forever). And I hate that part of myself and I have been trying hard since last year to change it. It’s going really slowly but hey! I continued crocheting that blanket I want to send to my buddy. Also, I read some books (even though they were “only” light novels) and continued some others hobbies. So I think that’s an improvement?

At the beginning of January an ad popped up on Facebook for an online course about Japanese and I was curious and it bugged me, I almost submitted the application but then I didn’t. I wanted to read about it a bit more, think about if it would be worth it and then a few days later I decided I’m gonna apply. Then I went to this site but turned out I waited too long and didn’t check properly the sign up deadline, I was two days late. :D I was a bit bummed and angry at myself for not checking the deadline properly but I thought I would sign up in March when a new study group starts up. I was fine with this idea for a week or so but then it started bugging me again... I read tofugu’s advice on learning Japanese but it seemed a bit scary even though it felt the most efficient way and I knew I wanted to learn it as efficiently as possible. So I started reading about what else is there and found a few posts like this from Bonyari Boy and then u/SuikaCider‘s post on reddit and their live google document. They all seemed to be talking about the tofugu way but the way they described it seemed more possible to do it than tofugu’s guide. What does this mean? Basically, ditch learning the kanas by writing them over and over again for at least a month, just learn them under a few days and later you can learn the writing as well. Then start learning the kanjis using mnemonics and at the same time/or after you know like a few hundred, start learning grammar. That’s it in a nutshell, it seems easy enough right? I mean, there are obviously a lot more going on than this but it kind of motivated me. I started looking at the offered options to learn the kanjis and decided for now to try out the WaniKani site and then learn about Anki in the meantime. Also, every single one of these documents suggested to set up a goal you would like to achieve so I have a few in my mind. I mean it’s obvious that 86 is a big part of it right now but even if in a few years I won’t be so invested I’m going to be forever a weeb and there will be new stuff that may have a manga/light novel not translated to English and I will want to know what it is about. Or just understand some of the youtuber’s I watch without subtitles and some live events aaand those Japanese artists I follow on twitter, I want to know what they are tweeting about (or the little comics they post, it’s so tiring to use Google Translate and it kept translating poor Fido’s little “Pi” to “Bitch” - that was hilarious, though). And yes, it will take time (please Szi don’t give up ) but I was thinking if I can keep learning it intensively every single day for at least an hour it may take only a year or two... and that is such a little part of my life. I guess it’s just creating a habit out of it and placing it in my routine. It’s not easy as one day is only 24 hours long and I have to work, do chores and other things but yeah, here I go!

Well, this was a long read and if you are still here whoa, thanks! I can’t guarantee I will keep this up to date but I wrote this as a draft like 9 days ago and posting it now and since then I’m still doing WaniKani every day, so maybe there is hope?

#random #me #szilvi's japanese learning journey #sorry for the grammar mistakes and typos but I'm tired to fix them

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crumbledcastle28 · 2 years ago

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Ruhn Danaan: Personal

Pairing: Ruhn Danaan x fem!reader

Summary: Ruhn thought fake flirting wouldn’t get under his skin. He was wrong.

Warnings: Major jealousy, reader seduces a male, reader gets felt up by a male, reader wears a tight dress, reader has her hair done, Ruhn shatters a glass, allusions to sex, reader is alluded to having curves, LOTS of swearing, Queen Bryce is here too, ruhn bleeds, let’s pretend the White Raven didn’t *spoiler* explode. Set during the events of HoSaB (sort of), spoilers!!, I apologize if things don’t line up with canon.

A/N: I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this man since I finished HoSaB, so I thought I’d try something new. I hope you enjoy :)

If you’d like to leave a like, comment, reblog, or ask, it would be very appreciated <3

SJM Masterlist

(I found this drool-worthy art on Pinterest. Absolute full credit to the owner).

You had known the powerhouse that is Bryce Quinlan for over a decade.

And yet, no matter how much time seemed to pass, her stubbornness never seemed to dwindle.

“I’m going Y/N.”

“You’re mated, Bryce. To the Umbra fucking Mortis. They’ll smell it.”

“So? You would be surprised how little that matters to the right male.”

She placed her hands on her hips as she said this, and your eyes trailed down her body. Her skin-tight dress brought out the best parts of her, and the red of her hair was even more vibrant against the dark shade of black.

Beautiful, as she had always been.

“I’m being serious, Bryce,” you responded. “You’re Starborn. You saved this city. If this male has real, usable information on the rebellion, he’s not going to tell you.”

“And he’ll tell you?” she questioned back.

“Yes,” you responded breathlessly. “You would intimidate the Hel out of him, while I am a random female buying him drinks. If I get him drunk enough, he’ll spill.”

Bryce gnawed on her bottom and lip and fidgeted with her rings. A faint pink began to show beneath her freckled face.

“I don’t like this Y/N.”

“I know Bryce,” you responded, “that’s why you’re coming with me.”

“Still,” she replied, “if you get pulled into a separate room, how will I know you’re okay?”

“You know I’ll be okay. I can handle myself,” you said, and moved a bit closer to her. “Whoever this male is and whatever information he has, it’s not worth you being in danger.”

“Danger?” said a voice behind you, deeper and more gruff than either you or Bryce had ever made your voices.

A shot of electricity shot down your spine, and your mouth instantly dried.

“Ruhn,” Bryce mumbled with a roll of her eyes. “Seriously? I want my key back.”

Ruhn Danaan

Half-brother to one of your closest friends, and the hottest male you had ever laid your eyes on.

You turned around with a gulp, reeling in the feeling that his voice gave you no matter how many times you had heard it, and squeezed your hands at your sides.

And there he was. Ruhn Danaan. The Crowned Prince of the Valbaran Fae, and your decade long crush.

Holy Hel did he look good.

It was obvious he had just gotten off from the Aux. His tight black leathers covered him from his back down to his legs, and his tattoos bulged on his forearms. His hair had been the same since the day you met him—long and shaved on one side—but it never failed to do his sculpted face justice. His lip piercing was just visible enough, and the Starsword strapped to his back showed just how broad his shoulders had become over the years.

He was intimidation personified, so much so that it felt like you were standing in his shadow, and you could not take your eyes off him.

You must have been crazy, stupid, insane, but the blue eyes that stared at you every time you closed your eyes didn’t seem to want to leave you either.

You were dressed similarly to Bryce—tight dress, glittery heals, hair and makeup done more so than usual, and fancy perfume emulating off of you— which was making you feel like you should sink into the floor.

Had he ever seen this much of you?

You weren’t embarrassed, you could wear whatever the Hel you wanted, but his slow gaze over you from your feet up to your face sent beads of sweat dripping down your back. He had to have been able to smell your fear—and, of course, other things.

You were so fucked.

“Danger tends to follow me,” Ruhn replied, “but it seems that I followed it this time.” His eyes didn’t leave yours.

He wasn’t talking about you. No way.

Bryce huffed in annoyance. “The only danger here is Y/N thinking she can seduce a rebel sympathizer into leaking information.”

Ruhn’s eyebrows raised. “Seduce?”

You swallowed. “If need be.”

“‘If need be,’ of course you will have to,” Bryce mocked. “It has happened every time you’ve done something like this.”

“Every time?” Ruhn questioned, and folded his arms over his chest. “So you’ve done this before?”

A hint of mischief coated his irises, and your heart had never beat so fast.

“Only out of necessity,” you responded with the best smirk you could muster.

Ruhn huffed out a laugh. “Well Bryce, it seems like Y/N is more experienced in this field.”

“You’re my brother,” Bryce responded. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I’d really rather not see you get targeted by the rebellion because of your star Bryce,” Ruhn said, gesturing to her chest.

“I’ll hide it.”

Both you and Ruhn gave her an unimpressed look. You both knew it tended to shine whenever it wanted to.

Bryce groaned in annoyance. “You’re both the worst.”

“Either way I’m going with you,” Ruhn said, tipping his chin up with pride.

“Not in that outfit you’re not,” Bryce responded, and you chuckled.

“And what would you prefer me wear Y/N?” he asked with a tease. Heat began spreading from your cheeks down to your neck.

Nothing.

“Something without a literal target on your back.”

Ruhn laughed through his nose.

“Fine. I’ll meet you ladies at The Raven,” Ruhn said, floorboards creaking as he backed out of Bryce’s apartment door.

You couldn’t miss the hint of excitement coating his eyes, and the heat pooling in your lower stomach.

~*~

The last thing Ruhn expected to see when he entered Bryce’s apartment was you looking the way that you did.

And holy Hel did you look good.

He had known you since you and Bryce were sixteen years old, and as soon as you laid eyes on him, a girlish film went over them. He remembered it. Vividly.

You had obviously found him attractive, and he viewed it as one of Bryce’s silly little friends with a silly little crush.

Until, he was lucky enough for Bryce to reconnect with him. And that was when he saw you. Really saw you.

It knocked the wind from his lungs to see how you’d grown up, and the female you had become. The more he got to know you, the more he realized how self-assured, confident, and fucking smart you were.

And seeing you in that dress. Gods. It cracked the little control he had left into a million pieces.

He had his eyes on you now. He wanted you, badly.

In the beginning, he thought it was just a physical thing, but as the months developed, so did his feelings.

These quote-on-quote “feelings” made him feel like the sixteen year old. He thought he knew his way around women and females, but you tended to send him right back to square one.

And he was about to watch you, potentially, feel up a random man for information.

He brought his drink to his mouth and took a large gulp. He savored the burn of it in his throat.

“There she goes,” Bryce mumbled next to him, and the two of them watched as you slowly made your way closer and closer to the male target. His heart quickened with each step you took.

Bryce and Ruhn were seated at a table far enough from the bar to be subtle, and Ruhn had changed into a plain grey T-shirt and jeans. His hair remained down, and he sure as Hel wasn’t opposed to revealing more of his tattoos.

He saw how you looked at them. He didn’t want you to stop.

“I should be the one doing this,” Bryce mumbled. The male had finally taken notice and introduced himself to you.

“Relax, Bryce,” Ruhn replied. “She’s going to be alright.”

“You just want to watch this. Pig.” Bryce threw back a shot of some sort of clear liquid.

Ruhn raised his eyebrows and took another sip of his drink.

Maybe.

You leaned against the wooded bar in such a way that your curves were highlighted in the party lights. The makeup you chose brought out your eyes perfectly, and the male was becoming more and more interested in the way your hair curled over your shoulder.

Your eyes flickered over the male, and you leaned closer and closer, inch by inch.

Ruhn leaned forward in his chair, watching your every move. Blood pressure rising.

The male leaned in closer, and brushed your hair from your neck. You tipped your head back to show that you enjoyed it, and the male took the opportunity to whisper something into your revealed skin.

You smiled, eyes closed, and the male’s large hand squeezed around your waist. Pulling you into his chest.

And right at that moment, right as your hands covered his chest and his hands moved down your body, it was as if Ruhn’s senses had been dialed to 0.

The music disappeared. The slight buzz he had disappeared. The flashing lights and dancing bodies around him disappeared.

There was only you, wrapped in the arms of another male, looking fucking incredible.

And smiling.

He expected to enjoy this, but he didn’t. Not at all.

Never in his life had Ruhn’s vision tunneled so quickly.

He felt his heart plummeting to his feet, so fast he felt the nausea hit him like a wave, and his normally even breathing quickened to an uneven pace.

Fake.

This was fake.

Don’t take it personally.

You brought your eyes away from the male’s face and down to his arms. Your fingers that were once splayed over his chest now moved to his bicep, tracing the intricate ink that Ruhn hadn’t noticed before.

It sure as Hel feels personal.

Ruhn didn’t realize how tight his jaw was until it started to grow sore, and he didn’t realize just how many times he had imagined you doing that to him until it wasn’t him.

He could make out Bryce’s faint voice next to him, asking if he was okay, but the lack of oxygen and blood flow through his body only allowed him to focus forward.

The male traced his finger down your spine, and Ruhn’s fae senses allowed him to pick up on the chills that erupted across your arms.

He felt his face begin to grow more and more red, and the grip on his whiskey glass become more and more relentless.

The male watched as you traced down his arm, smirking, and he brought his free hand to the side of your face. He tilted your head to the side, and whispered something in your ear once more.

You rubbed your lips together and nodded, and the male dipped his mouth down to where the tendons in your neck met your collarbone.

Ruhn’s nostrils flared.

And then, as if he had all the time in the world, licked a clean stroke all the way up to your ear, and you exhaled loudly from your mouth.

Ruhn heard it. As much as he didn’t want to, he heard it.

And the idea that he wasn’t the cause of it caused his control to finally snap.

The force of his grip on the glass became too much for the cheap material, and dozens of tiny glass shards rained over the table like a firework.

The liquid from the whiskey dripped onto the sticky wooden table, and the rest covered his hand to his wrist.

“Ruhn!” Bryce scolded next to him, shaking glass shards from her hair and brushing them off her dress. “What the fuck.”

He didn’t even turn to look at her. Or his hand. Even as he felt warm blood start to drip down his wrist as well.

No. He kept his eyes forward, like the trained leader he was, and felt your eyes meet his own.

The male next to you looked annoyed, but not shocked. Like he saw stuff like this all the time. He waved his hand to the bartender, gesturing to clean Ruhn’s table that was now covered in whiskey and glass.

But not you.

You kept your eyesight locked into his, and a thread of understanding stretched between the two of you.

You knew he had been watching you, you knew he shattered the glass, and you knew why.

Your lips grew into a toothless smile, and the thread of understanding pulled tighter.

He knew you knew, and he knew you liked it. He could smell you—what you were thinking.

A similar smile etched on his face.

The rest of the club, the city, the world disappeared as you looked at each other. Knowing how the night would end.

Tag list: (since this is a new character for me, I decided to start a new tag list. If you’d like to be tagged for Ruhn or for any of my fics, please let me know!)

@leahkenobi

#ruhn danaan #ruhn danaan x reader #prince ruhn #ruhn danaan smut #crown prince of the valbaran fae #ruhn Danaan angst #crescent city #crescent city fanfic #hoeab #hoeab spoilers #hosab spoilers #post hosab #throne of glass #acotar #sjm books #sjm #sarah j maas

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babyboiboyega · 3 years ago

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I can explain (Shangqi x f!reader)

Shangqi x f!reader

Prompt: “When everything’s going wrong, the mere thought of you makes it right.” + never wanting to pull away kiss

Content: a little angst, but more fluff

Word Count: 1.6k

Babyboiboyega’s Marvel Masterlist

A/N: this is my first ever time writing for Shangqi (or Shang-Chi), and I already have a lot of other ideas for this incredibly loveable character.

I hope you all enjoyed this!

A heavy sigh left Y/N’s mouth as she unceremoniously dropped onto her couch. The feeling of her limbs relaxing into the cushions almost prompted a moan of relief to follow the heavy sigh. It did, however, make her eyes flutter closed as she leaned her head back.

Y/N had been thinking of this moment the entire day. The moment when her week ended and her weekend began; a weekend of not having to deal with rude, angry-at-the-world customers who decide to yell at her because a privately owned publishing warehouse doesn’t print the book that they want. Or the customers who don’t check their emails for their tracking information and then get mad at her, for some absurd reason.

Another sigh leaves her mouth, and this time with the sigh goes her thoughts of work, entering the empty air for the weekend.

But being off on the weekend didn’t exactly mean being absolved of texts and calls from fellow coworkers, ranting about customers, or even management. So when her phone’s ringer went off, signaling a new incoming text, she simply kept her eyes closed. She certainly had enough time to read and reply...but maybe later.

The text had already migrated to the back of her mind in the span of a few seconds...and then her phone went off again. This time, two quick “dings” sounded through her apartment.

Her eyes opened before she slowly sat up, her phone coming into view. Before she could spare another though about her phone and it’s notifications, her hand quickly reached for the remote and pressed the power button.

She managed to flip through a few channels before her phone rang once more, and this time it was accompanied by a few knocks on her door.

Completely disregarding the fact that it was almost 11 at night and she hadn’t been expecting anyone, and being fueled by her now very obvious annoyance, it only took her a few strides to reach her door. In all honesty, she’d had no idea what she was going to say to whoever was on the other side of her door; but whatever had been ready to leave her lips died as soon as she opened the door.

“Shaun?”

She hadn’t been able to control the volume and surprise in her voice, and she saw his grimace in response. She couldn’t find it in herself to care if he didn’t like the volume in her voice; the very next emotions she felt surge through her body was...well, it was a cross between worry and anger.

“Y/N...hey.” He had a sheepish smile on his face; one that showed off his dimple. One that she had to restrain from returning. But then she remembered the last time she had seen that same smile and the last time she had even heard from him. Her eyebrows raised incredulously.

“‘Hey?’ ‘Hey’?? That’s all...that’s all you have to say to me after being gone for...a month? And some weeks?”

She could hear the hurt in her own voice, and it made her want to cringe at herself.

‘He could have been doing more important things than worrying about you’ is all that went through her mind.

Her arms crossed self-consciously in front of her.

“Please, let me explain. It’s… it’s actually crazier than you think.”

The hesitance on her part came from her nagging thoughts that flipped between “he was genuinely busy” and “he’s about to make up some absurd excuse for why he hasn’t spoken to you while also letting you down gently”.

“May I come in?” His eyebrows were raised as he gently asked for her permission. Y/N quickly nodded and stepped to the side before her thoughts could scare her too much.

His eyes stayed on her as he stepped past her, entering her apartment. She took a second to take a deep breath before closing the door behind him.

She briefly wondered how her face looked as she turned to face him. Did she look as hurt and worried as she felt? Could he see her feelings on her face?

“I’m sorry for disappearing for...as long as I did. And I’m sorry for not reaching out at all during that time. But I can explain why.”

His eyes followed her figure as she walked slowly around her kitchen counter. He made no effort to hide the pleading look in his eyes, and he only began talking when Y/N raised her eyebrows from across the counter.

“Okay. Just...bare with me.” Y/N’s eyes narrowed and more questions filled her mind as she watched him take a breath as if he were bracing himself.

Y/N hadn’t known what to expect when he had started talking, but she definitely wasn’t expecting a story filled with martial arts, trained assassins, ancient organizations, soul-sucking demons, and dragons.

Even after he had explained everything, his eyes watching and waiting for her reaction, she still couldn’t find the words to express herself.

Her body was frozen in its same position, and her eyes were wide and staring right at him. As the silence stretched between them, he couldn’t help grimacing slightly once again.

“Also, my name isn’t really Shaun. It’s Shangqi.”

That last piece of information seemed to finally shake Y/N out of her stupor, as she blinked quickly and let out a quick breath.

“I...I don’t know what to say.” In all honesty, all of this was kind of making her head spin, and it was evident in the way her breathing picked in just the slightest.

“W-What exactly do you say to someone who’s just saved the world? ‘Thank you’? ‘I owe you my life’- because, I guess, technically, I do owe you my life. Because of you, I still have my life- or my soul.”

At her rambling, Shangqi’s expression shifted from one of wariness to relief to a little worried. It had only just crossed his mind that he was worried that she wouldn’t believe him, and not worried about how she would receive the information.

She believed every word that had just come from his mouth, simply because she knew that he wouldn’t lie about something like this. She knew that he wouldn’t lie to her… at least she hoped he wouldn’t.

“You don’t have to say anything. I...I just needed you to know why I was gone. The thought of letting you go one more second thinking I just...left you was driving me crazy.”

A humorless laugh forced its way through Y/N’s lips.

“Yeah, thinking I had driven you away was driving me crazy too.”

Before she could even regret her words, her eyes were drawn to Shangqi, whose head was shaking quickly. In a few steps, he had walked around the counter, coming to a stop a few feet from her.

“That was never the case, I swear. You could never drive me away, not even if you tried.”

At the minuscule smile that appeared on her face, he risked taking another step forward.

From where he stood, he could smell faint traces of her favorite perfume that had slowly worn off during her day. Her favorite perfume had quickly become his favorite scent, simply because it reminded him of her.

From where she stood, she could easily see the faint signs of exhaustion on his face. No doubt from the strains of the last month and a half. It made her want to reach out to him.

“Every second, from the moment we left, all I could think about was coming back to you. Even while staring into the face of a-”

“A mega soul-sucking demon?”

The quiet laugh that left his mouth seemed to weigh on her body, but not with pressure. Instead, all she felt was warmth, and it coursed through her veins with the power of 11 suns.

“Yes,” there was laughter in his voice as he responded, “even while staring into the face of a mega soul-sucking demon.”

As he spoke, he had gradually moved forward until taking a deep breath would easily have their chests brushing against each other.

Y/N couldn’t keep the tremor out of her voice as she spoke, her eyes flickering between Shangqi’s.

“You...you really thought of me when you were saving the world?”

Her eyes fluttered closed as his hand raised and gently cupped her cheek. Soon after, she felt pressure from his forehead connecting with hers. Without hesitation, her own hands lifted, coming to grasp at his sides, desperate to pull him closer.

His breath fanned across her face as he spoke, and it made her hands tighten.

“When everything’s going wrong, the mere thought of you always makes it right.”

His words were quickly swallowed by Y/N’s lips pressing against his with fervor. The hand that was on her cheek gently titled her head back as he kissed her back with just as much passion, while his other hand wound around her waist. They both pulled at the other, as if they couldn’t get close enough.

The warmth that had been coursing through her veins quickly turned into leg-numbing electricity the longer their lips were connected. Her eyes were closed, and so were his, but they could both see the other’s face behind their lids, surrounded by the stars their presence created.

The only thing that could pull them apart was the need for air, and even then, as their foreheads connected and their lips stayed hovering over each other’s, they breathed the same air.

Shangqi’s words were shaky as he spoke, his thumb rubbing circles into her skin.

“You make everything right.”

**********

Once again, I hope you all enjoyed this! I would take requests for this character, but I still have a ton of requests for LOK....

But maybe sometime in the near future!

In the meantime, I would appreciate it if y’all would interact in any way with this! Comments, criticism, questions, etc would be amazing, as would reblogs, but even just liking this helps!

Stay safe, y’all!

#shangqi #shangqi x reader #shang chi x reader #shang chi #shang-chi imagines #shang-chi fanfic #shang-chi drabble #shang-chi oneshot #shangqi imagine #shangqi oneshot #shangqi drabble

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night-market-if · 2 years ago

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Paper Lanterns Part 28

Paper Lanterns is a community based IF game here on Tumblr. I need something to fuel the creative fires while I chip away at The Night Market demo, and I want to give you all a little something in the meantime. Here’s how it will work.

I will post a snipped under the cut every few days. At the end of the post will be three options. Comment below or send me an ask if you would rather be anonymous, over which route you would like to see. I will tally them up and write the majority option and post it in the following days. From there, we repeat the process until we, as a community, have crafted our story.

Please reblog and share this with others. The more people we have participating, the more fun I think this can be for us.

Winner of the last vote: “You’re not going near her then. She wants you dead.” Respond in fear and practicality

You stare at Malcolm for a long and uncomfortable moment. A moment in which he meets your gaze head on. There was a lot you could say to this revelation. You could rage. You could approach it with understanding. Yet, the overwhelming feeling was confusion. You didn’t want to examine how close you had been to the truth and how many times it had happened. You didn’t want to think about all the ways he could have helped you and all the things he may be doing wrong. Or maybe it was right? It didn’t matter. None of it did. Because when it was all boiled down to the bare minimum of things, the Baron of the Mists was after the Gatekeeper. You were not putting Malcolm in that amount of danger.

“Well, then that settles it,” you say pragmatically. “You aren’t coming with me.”

Leaning forward, Malcolm presses his forehead to your own. A move of comfort you often showed him. “You don’t get to make that decision.”

“What?” you say shakily, forcing a smile “Big bad Baron now and you think you don’t answer to anyone? No, darlin’. You absolutely still answer to me.”

“And to me,” Hazel pipes up. You point at her as if to say ‘see?’

You feel Malcolm smile. Sometimes, you forget how he had not been protected when he was younger. How the three of you became friends out of a necessity for survival. He had always been the solid one, however. The one who was the rock to both you and Hazel. Perhaps it was simply because he was the oldest.

“Malcolm,” you start gently. “You wouldn’t risk me….”

“I have been risking you. I’m just not doing it any longer.”

“I’m not going to be doing it at all,” you counter. “How can I take you with me when it is clear that she had been trying to flush you out.”

It was obvious now that I thought about it. His name having been mentioned by Belladonna, the hint that the Baron was on to you. You being picked for the job, his ex lover, when it was clear others were better for the task. Impossible timelines. An obstacle at every gate. You were set up for failure and danger over and over again in hopes that Malcolm would step forward.

“What if there is a third option?” Hazel asks. You look at her from across the table, your hands having wrapped within Malcolm’s owns at some point during the conversation. “We let her come to us,” she offers. “Going to the Cathedral seems like a stupid idea no matter how you spin it. At least if she comes to us, it’s on our own grounds, and we may be better able to defend ourselves. I have enough magic to make a statement…”

“No,” both Malcolm and you tell her immediately.

Malcolm looked at her like she was crazy. “I just got you out. They were not posting bail for you Hazel. They were going to put you either in the flesh pits or the tunnels. Why would I knowingly send you right back to that fate?.”

“Oh, I don’t know. So the two people I care about don’t die.” Tears gathered in her eyes. Her bottom lip trembled over the reality that you all suddenly found yourself in. “Malcolm,” she begged. “The Baron of the Mists could kill you. She is not a kind woman. And you always said you didn’t want to become a vengeful spirit. You didn’t want to be the things wandering these streets lost and alone. You know as well as I do, if you die, that is exactly what you are going to be. The Night Market will have a claim on you.”

Malcolm shuddered at the thought. It was an old tale that circled the few that had been born within the Market. You could never leave. Not even in death. Immortality altered the mind, however. If there was one thing that Malcolm feared the most, it was being trapped within these streets, lost in his own head.

“Look, the obvious answer is to let me go and talk to her.” He did his best to ignore his sister. You could see he was trying not to think of what could become of him. Or what could even become of her in the upcoming hours. “Yes, I am outing myself as a Baron, but it sounds like suspicions were already high.”

“Belladonna said that you were the one Baron no one wants. They think you hold too much power.” It had been presented to you as a coo. Flush out the Gatekeeper in hopes of riding him of the hold he had over the Night Market.

Malcolm laughed a little at that. “I absolutely hold too much power. This is quite possibly the worst job. Do you know what it is like to hear requests nearly every second of the day to enter the Night Market? People pleading to get away from the nightmares of their life along with the vanity of men and women simply wanting to go shopping? I hate it. I hate it more than anything. I also control it all. Decide who comes and goes, and when. I keep the Market safe by making sure every last gate is secure and sequestered away. Wiping the memories of those that mean to leave this Market and give away our position. Do you know what the does to a person?”

“So give it up,” you tell him. You can see the weariness settling across his face. Something you had blatantly ignored upon him entering your life again.

“He can’t,” Hazel said sadly. “The only way for a Baron to lose their power is for it to be taken from them. You have to kill a Baron in order to take the place of a new one.”

You slump back in your seat. Your head spinning. The rules and regulations of the damn Market had never made sense to you and you, not for the first time, wished you could make it all go away.

“So that means…?”

“It was an accident,” Malcolm says. “But yeah. I killed the old one. Didn’t even know he was a Baron at the time. Surprise surprise when I felt all that transfer to me.”

You sit in silence, the three of you, no one quite sure what to say or do. Only that something was looming on the horizon and there did not seem to be a clean way out of it.

“I still say we fight them on our terms. At the apothecary,” Hazel said after a long drawn out moment.

“I’m okay with this not happening at the Cathedral,” Malcolm says, “but neither of you have the power to deal with a Baron. I do. We can meet them at a neutral place. See if I can help strike a deal.”

You swallow thickly. Both of them were looking to you to make a decision. To weigh in on their fates. The responsibility of the future had never felt more heavy than it did in that moment.

Voting now closed: Part 29 here

Agree to Hazel’s plan and try to protect her as best as you can.

Agree to Malcolm’s plan and try to protect him as best as you can.

Agree to neither plan. You did this to yourself. You have to hope that you don’t die and that you can get away from the two of them without detection.

If you haven't seen, Chapter Two of the Night Market is now out! It is linked below if you're interested. Reblogs and feedback are also love! Also, there is a Paper Lanterns discord now. Click the link below to join.

Patreon || Ko-fi || Demo || Discord

#paper lanterns #interactive fic #community if #hazel albright #malcolm albright #you choose #getting towards the end and I am not ready for it

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delu-jean · 3 years ago

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𝐈𝐬 𝐇𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞? (𝐏𝐭 𝟐)

(Akaashi x fem!/reader) -> Angst/Fluff? -> 3.2k

Synopsis: Akaashi is strolling through Tokyo, and on that day, meets a boy who looks all too familiar. One whose eyes remind him of you.

Part One: Is He Mine?

Part Three: Is Her Mine? (Part. 3)

Notes: Part two as promised! Maybe I’ll make a part three (haha >:)). Be sure to comment if you would liked to be tagged for the next part, and reblogs are always appreciated.

-> Also, for those tagged in this post, I’ll tag you in the next as well ^^

“Y/n...please tell me.”

“T-tell you what?” you asked nervously, as he felt just the same. Inhaling his breath, hoping he could keep calm.

“Is...is he mine?”

---

“Is he who’s?”

“Mine Y/n...is he mine?”

You stared at the gentleman. Though his question was reasonable (?), that was the first thing he was going to ask you?...after all of those years?...years of torment, resentment, and whatever else. Maybe you were overreacting, but yet again, you were a woman who stood by her morals. And that being the case, your instincts had said your reaction was as reasonable as his question.

Some part of you wanted to snap. To holler at Akaashi for asking such a ridiculous question, yet the other part...was scared. You felt anxious when thinking of a proper answer. Was Ryu his?.... If taken out of context, he could’ve been asking if Ryu belonged to him, and of course he didn’t. Ryu wasn’t an object that could be owned by merely anyone. He was his own person, and that being the case, wasn’t something that could’ve been held down. Yet even though you could’ve interpreted it that way, you knew what Akaashi really meant. Yet you didn’t exactly have an answer.

“Ryu?”

“Yeah...”

Akaashi seemed suspicious. He could tell you were hiding something, and even though very obvious, he didn’t want to assume. Hoping that you would confirm things so that you both could talk it out. Yet here you were, not giving him a response. He was confused to say the least, shouldn’t the answer have been easy? Ryu looked exactly like him, and plus, him not having a father was another takeaway. Using those facts should’ve given him enough confirmation.

But then again, maybe the answer wasn’t as easy as it should’ve been. What if Ryu wasn’t his?...what if Akaashi had made an assumption out of impulse, because of a lingering feeling he had. One of which you sparked for him to feel.

Maybe he was being delusional, and instead, was trying to make an excuse. An excuse to spend another minute, even a second with you there. Ryu was important to him as well. His or not, he respected that you had started a family, and was glad Ryu was a part of it. He adored Ryu, but he also admired you. Speaking of Ryu, the boy then clung onto you. He seemed confused about the interaction, and tried asking for clarification.

“His? *GASP* Am I Akaashi’s brother!? Momma, you never told me!” he smiled happily, ecstatic at the news.

“Eh-no dear, he’s not your brother,” you chuckled, for him to ask:

“Then what did he mean? What did you mean, Akaashi?” you then stared at Akaashi. You knew he was smart enough to play things through, and even so, you still panicked the slightest bit.

“I was wondering if you would be mine for the night, along with your mother. We could go grab dinner, or ice cream even,” you looked at him in shock as his eyes seemed determined. Needing an answer, and willing to get it in whatever scenario possible.

“But what about Kuroo?”

“Oh my, I forgot about that,” you then glanced at your watch.

“Kuroo?...but how-oh….” Akaashi then thought about how you and Kuroo were very close friends. So close that sometimes, he would even find you hanging out with Kuroo, over himself. Though it wasn’t because you liked him (in that way), rather, you were both very good friends. Akaashi let it be since you both had mutual trust, and Kuroo was someone he was also friends with. Besides, Akaashi also respected your personal life with others, and so did you for him.

They still talked till this day, and not once had Kuroo mentioned you having a child. But to be fair, Kuroo never mentioned you. That being because both you and Akaashi had broken up, and it would’ve been an uncomfortable topic. Still, Akaashi found it strange. If Kuroo knew, wouldn’t Bokuto have as well?...meaning that Akaashi would’ve known by now? His thoughts continued to trail as you looked at him in disbelief.

You did have plans with Kuroo, but then, you also had a couple hours until he’d come around. Even so, you didn’t want to spend that time with Akaashi. He was one of the last people you needed to talk to. The grudge which still stood in your heart, clenched with each second he stood there. The anger which he had gifted you, was something that was eager to return. As you had thought this, you then stared at your son. He seemed thrilled to be with such a man, as he gripped onto Akaashi’s hand in excitement, saying:

“Yay! We get to eat together!”

“We’re going to have so much fun!”

“Let’s try some bubble waffles!”

You then remembered that even if you had felt that, your son instead felt joy being with Akaashi. And that being the case, you didn’t have the right to take that happiness away. After all, Ryu was not yours either. He wasn’t someone you could drag away from events, just because you had conflicts with a person. Though there were times where doing so was appropriate, was now really such an event?...not even you could answer that. But even though you couldn’t, his smile which brightened the mood, had answered for you.

“Okay buddy, slow down. Fine, we can go with brother...Akaashi. We’ll meet Kuroo sometime later, just let me text him.”

“Okay mom! Akaashi, Up!” you then eyed the boy, for him to insist regardless.

“Please mom! He’s so tall, and I can see everything-”

“Ryu no-”

“Sure, what not?” Akaashi then grabbed the boy, placed him on his shoulders, and secured his legs with his hands. You then sighed. If Akaashi had agreed, what could you do? You then texted Kuroo, grabbing your bag firmly as Akaashi spoke:

“I know a place where we could grab ramen. If not, we could instead-”

“No, ramen is fine,” you said in a stoic tone.

“Okay...then let’s get going.”

---

The walk to the outdoor stand was awkward. Well...for you and Akaashi at least. The last time you two spoke, was the day he broke things off. He never reached out to you during that time, and now...here you both were. Expected to have a lengthy conversation, and to enjoy yourselves. Key word, “expected.” Though it would’ve been nice if you both could have talked care free, it wasn’t going to happen. That event occurred when both parties have mutually moved on. From Akaashi’s perspective, he still had lingering thoughts, yet kept them to the side. Going on with his life as he expected you did yours. Though he thought you had moved on, you had thought differently for different reasons.

Even though you both had your differences, Ryu was there. Entertaining the both of you separately. He complimented you one second, and played with Akaashi the next. You had never seen Akaashi so enthusiastic with a child before. Though he wasn’t going all crazy, and acting like a kid himself, he was being a lot more open. Talking back and forth with Ryu, giving nice remarks, and also rewarding him...with that beautiful smile he bestowed.

Even so, you tried to ignore it. Remembering that this entire ordeal was for Ryu, and not for your observations.

“We’re here. What do you want Ryu?”

“Hm, could I get the one with Tonkatsu? I’ve been craving it all day!”

“Haha, sure buddy. And...you, Y/n?”

“I’m not hungry, you guys go ahead,” Akaashi then sighed, obviously not believing you.

“We’ll get two Tonkatsu ramens, along with Fukuoka ramen.”

“Sure, that’ll be $18.35 please.”

“Debit-”

“Um...I can pay for both Ryu and I,” you said, as you tried scrambling for your wallet. Akaashi then tapped the machine, placing his hand on your own (the hand in your purse).

“It’s fine. Afterall, I already paid,” you shook your head, but let it go as Ryu pointed to a table.

“Come on! Let’s sit!”

---

“Akaashiii~!”

“What is Ryu?”

“How do you know mommy? Mommy would never talk to a stranger, so that means you both know each other.”

“Oh...well, um,” Ryu was truly a bright child. One who caught on a little too quickly. He really did remind you of his father. Quick witted, yet wise with his tongue. Being certain to use specific words or sentences, to ensure/secure his curiosities.

“Well...mommy and Akaashi were very good friends,” you replied.

“Ahhh. So if that’s the case, why have I never met him before?”

“Well you see-”

“It’s because I live further away from you guys,” Akaashi answered.

“But so does Kuroo,” Akaashi then pondered, and placed his hands together.

“Hm, I guess you’re right. Well, maybe your mother has an answer,” the two black haired boys, then stared at you. Both were awaiting for an answer, and yet both had different intentions. One wondering out of pure curiosity, while the other...was waiting for an explanation. One which could clear up any, if not every misconception.

“Well sweetie, sometimes good friends have to part ways. Everyone has their reasons, but most of the time…” you then looked at Akaashi.

“It’s because it’s for the better,” his gaze was locked onto yours. The stare was unreadable. It didn’t feel tense, yet it was. Was it cold, hurtful?...you wouldn’t have known. But what you did know was that Akaashi was good, too good at hiding his thoughts. So good that when together, he would let things slip without reaction. Sometimes that was a great thing...and others...not so much.

“Why would it be a good thing? You both were best friends!” you then placed a hand on his head, patting it gently.

“Well...friends have to grow up. That doesn’t mean you can’t see them again, but, what it does mean is that you’ll have some time...alone. And that time...is used for you to grow.”

“Ahh, I see mom! Is that why we don’t see Kuroo often?”

“Haha, no sweetie. That’s actually because we live further away. If Kuroo lived in our city-”

“He would be living with us, right?”

“Hm...I guess so,” Akaashi then looked in the other direction. There was no tint of emotion, just...silence.

“Akaashiiii, the ramen is here!”

“Oh, is it Ryu?”

“Yeah, it is!” your bowls were then slid over. Ryu stared at Akaashi’s hands, and at first, Akaashi wasn’t sure as to why. Ryu didn’t touch his food, and at first, he was worried that the boy didn’t like it, but then noticed he was holding a pair of scissors. Pointing them towards the gentleman. Though confused, he then caught onto Ryu’s gesture.

“Dear I can-” before you could finish your sentence, Akaashi started to cut his noodles. Making them bit size for the boy. It seemed like second hand nature, yet something new to him. Though, you would’ve felt more comfortable doing it yourself, you weren’t complaining as the job was now done.

“Thanks Akaashi!”

“No problem Ryu. Now, let’s eat.”

---

You all then finished your ramen. Though you had said you weren’t hungry, you couldn’t help but eat it. After all of those years, Tonkatsu ramen was still your favourite, and Akaashi still knew. He was glad that he remembered the littlest of details. Ones which may have been overlooked. Ones he made sure to be attentive to. Not only that, but he was glad Ryu had enjoyed the meal as well. He truly was your son as he had the same tastes as you. Akaashi found it quite cute, and found it even more adorable as he ran out of the restaurant, shouting:

“Mom, Akaashi! I want to play at the park!”

“Hm...it’s a little late buddy,” Akaashi said, for you to respond:

“It should be fine. We’ll be over here watching Ryu. No funny business young man!”

“Okay mommy!” the young boy then climbed the slide, as Akaashi sat on the bench. Patting on it, indicating that you sat beside him. And so...you did. Your legs together, hands as well, as your head looked down. He then sighed, asking:

“Do you feel uncomfortable? I can move if-”

“No...it’s fine. We’ll be leaving soon, so no need to worry.”

“Is Kuroo picking you up?” you then nod as he did the same.

“I see...so...how have you been?”

“Oh...um...I’ve been okay. I’ve done better, but...yeah.”

“Hm, I see,” you really didn’t want to be in this situation. Maybe for him, it seemed civil, but to you...it was awkward. Neither of you knew what to say, and neither did you try to hide it (successfully at least). Akaashi then twitteled with his thumbs. A rare sight you would see every once in a while. Akaashi was a well spoken person, and usually had something to say in a well mannered way. But when he didn’t, or didn’t know what to say, he would play with his thumbs. Hoping that something would spring to mind.

“You must be having fun.”

“Fun doing what?” he looked at you.

“Playing with your thumbs,” you smirked, for him to put his hands away.

“Not really.”

“Hm...so...what have you been up to?” you asked, curious and yet not wanting to know.

“Nothing much...just work and well, Bokuto and I still hang out from time to time.”

“Ahh, really? I’m glad. You both were the bestest of friends.”

“And still are,” he smiled, while watching Ryu climb the monkey bars.

“Hm, you have a girlfriend yet?” he then paused for a moment, for him to answer:

“No...not yet. I haven’t found anyone interesting.”

“Ah, that’s unfortunate.”

Was it really?...you wouldn’t know how to think after today. If you hadn’t met Akaashi here...you would’ve thought otherwise. Glad that he hadn't found someone else, for his actions sickened you. Such a gentleman, yet someone so cruel. You would feel awful if he had grasped someone, just as tightly as he did to you. Sprinkling you with such intoxicating, yet graceful pleas, and yet he left you there to rot in such doing. Such a passionate man, yet that same person could find passion in such coldness.

For the past years, you had found him to be utterly despicable. After that one event...you couldn’t help but think that. But even so, after seeing him with Ryu today...you couldn’t help but melt. The two were so sweet together, and even though you hated to admit, had a spectacular relationship within just hours. They really acted as the best of friends, and Akaashi seemed to enjoy it. Not only that...but his smile...it was one which was truly admirable.

You then stared at Akaashi, while he watched Ryu. He really hadn’t changed. He was calm, quiet, and reserved. His posture was on parr with the rest of his body. His hair was styled more neatly, and actually, it had grown a bit, along with his height. His figure, a lot larger than what it was in university, and his cologne smelled of lavender, along with a hint of pepper. It was a strange combination, but it worked. He really had grown up to be even more attractive. And that being the case, it surprised you that he didn’t have a partner. Said attractiveness, along with the kindness of his nature...had drawn you in, and yet dragged you out. Leaving you in a confused, and undecided state of mind.

He then took note of your stare, and grinned. Secretly glad that your attention had averted towards him, yet, he was trying to be subtle. You truly looked astonishing tonight. Even after a couple of years, you still looked the same. That same highschooler who he had fallen in love with, the one who had constantly supported both him, and Fukurodani. The only person who truly understood such a stoic man. That same girl he would forever hold a place in his heart for. Although, now you weren’t just a sweet girl, but now, a beautiful lady instead.

Deep down, he would’ve wished for a space to open. Allowing such a lady to make way into his heart. Hoping said lady, would do the same. And maybe, just maybe...a prince could join you both as well. Making his thoughts come true in the utmost blessed way.

He made sure you didn’t catch onto his stare, the one which he had latched onto you. His attempts were taken very seriously, as he didn’t want to make things too obvious. Unfortunately, you did catch him in the act, and turned away, embarrassed.

“Hm,” he smirked, as you fished for your phone.

Kuroo ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ

-> ‘Are you still coming?’

-> ‘Of course. Sorry, traffic delays. I should be there in ten.’

-> ‘Okay...see you soon’

You were about to turn of your phone, to then see Kuroo text:

-> ‘Also...don’t worry too much. You can do this Y/n, good luck, and I’ll be there soon.’

You then smiled, and Akaashi took note, thinking:

‘She’s probably talking to her…ah...’ he sighed at the thought, to then ask:

“Are you talking to your husband?...you seem happy,” he smiled. Even though smiling was a happy gesture, he couldn’t help but make it the opposite. Making his grin, feel ever so agonizing.

“Ah...well...that was Kuroo,” Akaashi then batted a brow, surprised to say the least. He’d only seen that look on you when you were vulnerable. Whether you were scared, or secretly happy. Regardless, that was only around him...not even Kuroo had seen such a stare. But now that he saw you in such a state, it made him question if you, and Kuroo were in a relationship. That being the reason why he never brought it up, and vice versa.

“Oh...I see. So that means,” Akaashi then started to think. Yes, the younger child looked like him, but then, there was also resemblance between both Ryu, and Kuroo. They both had black hair, Ryu had a peckish, yet sweet smile (like Kuroo...minus the sweet-), and the bits of information fit logically. If you and Kuroo had Ryu, it would’ve made sense.

Both childhood friends who had grown together, to then realize what they wanted after he...had left you. Starting a family, and being with each other?.... Ryu looked like he could’ve been Kuroo's, or anyone for that matter. But even if Akaashi would have liked to think that way, the connection was too uncanny to deny.

Even so, Akaashi was still suspicious. Wondering as to why Ryu would be so reluctant towards his father. Why he would call “Kuroo,” well…”Kuroo,” and just as to why you both lived so far away. Maybe you both had a situation?...but then again, wasn’t Kuroo on his way to pick you up? Akaashi was confused, and felt like he was over-thinking things. Maybe Ryu wasn’t his...and Akaashi was instead looking for something...that wasn’t there...nor his to compensate.

“That means what?...” he then locked his eyes, with yours. Though he was someone who was hard to read, you could tell how desperate he was. His stare, piercing right at you, hoping he could get an answer.

“Y/n...could you please tell me...if he’s...mine?” you then saw the sorrowful expression, which struck him. The guilt which seeped in, had dug even further. Not sure how to tell him, nor how to phrase things. Your hands clenched, inhaling slowed, as your body trembled. He seemed just as scared for your response, to then hear:

“He’s-”

“He’s mine, Akaashi...Ryu is mine,” Kuroo said, for silence to then fill.

For Those Who Wanted To Be Tagged/Reblogged/Wanted A Part Two! ^^ :

@bokutojuicyass; @realbugmom; @exactlygreatlove; @instantdinosaurhottub; @suchagoodgirlxoxo; @nomadicadventures; @greenhoodie-mark; @n5koma; @animclarinerd; @personalficarchive; @sabrinakishi; @amecchii; @daffodilpetals; @lerougestvelvet; @notamazinglizzy; @akaashimarryme5; @m00ndust2

->Sorry to those who tags aren’t working qwq

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miekasa · 3 years ago

Note

mie!! since u write such beautiful gorgeous astounding breathtaking life-changing tearjerking fics, do YOU have any good fic recs that you personally love 🤔

I do! I have a whole blog of wonderful fics I’ve read (tho I desperately need to update it/reblog the ones in my drafts and tag them) @ackermeun for more if you want because there are many lovely, talented writers; but I’ll list a few of my faves for Levi and Eren below 😌😌

Levi

kiss me more by @vennilavee

Now, I could recommend you anything and everything by Saran and I have no doubt that you would love all of it. There’s not a single thing in her masterlist that I dislike, she even made me okay with the idea of pegging Levi bye. The entire tbah universe (specifically parental moments one) has a special place in my heart, but recently the perpendicular world has been on my mind, and might be coming for number one. Either way, you’re gonna love it. She writes Levi in his slightly bitchy, kinda needy, implicitly affectionate, true to nature form, and I am so grateful for it. Also, Saran is a comedian.

silver soul by @oi-levi (now posting from @bibblelevi)

I suck at keeping up with series, and, so, naturally, I’m terribly behind on this one, but I’m gonna go ahead and rec the whole thing to you anyway, because I have no doubt that the other chapters are just as great the two I’ve read so far. The way she writes Levi... when I tell you I could wrap myself up in a blanket and binge this whole series, and her entire masterlist, and be very content I mean it; her writing feels warm, that’s the only way I can explain it.

the art of tea composition by @karikarasuno

I don’t remember how or when I found this fic exactly, probably just scrolling through the tag, but I love it. Domestic fluff with Levi, allowing me to pretend I’m a morning person, and just the right kind of smut to go with it. Simple and very, very effective. I’ve reread it a few times by now, no shame.

where you’re meant to be by @deludedimagines

After you read this, I also suggest just going after the whole masterlist. I cannot express how grateful I am to have found this blog PLEASE. Her characterization of Levi is perfect, and something about her prose feels very clean and simple, but elevated and layered at the same time. This one-shot in particular is one of my favorite canonverse pieces, I’m a sucker for a classic injured lover trope.

the ones who matter most by @deludedimagines

Yeah... this shouldn’t be a surprise. Fantastic writing, fluff in canonverse has a special place in my heart because I think it can be really hard to pull off well; it’s difficult to balance a sense of softness within the aot universe for the obvious reasons, and getting Levi’s caring nature right can be (unfortunately) so hard to find. Good thing people like Sorcha are here. Enjoy more fluff. Also this fic is particularly fantastic to me not just because of the injured lover trope, but because the 104th babies pay a visit and you all know how much I love a good glimpse of reluctant adoptive dad Levi hehe

bullet by @jean-does-not-have-a-horseface

If you can’t tell by now, I love canonverse fluff, tho this fic isn’t fluff in the traditional sense, but I think that makes it all the much better. Perfect depiction of real life shit that would go down in the aot world paired with Levi’s need to protect his s/o. It’s fantastic.

the knife by @therealvalkyrie

I didn’t mean to turn this into Mie’s Favorite Canon Fics Showcase, but here we are anyway. As much as I love a good injured lover trope (and this does have that hehe), I love a good kickass reader insert, too. Shoutout to Valkyrie for included both in this fic, and Levi being proud of his s/o... well you can imagine how much I liked that bye

dante’s inferno by @alrightberries

College au + roommates au with Levi... that should be enough for you to read this lmfao, no but actually it’s adorable. Not to mention friends to lovers... if you know me you know how I feel about that, I’ll gobble up every f2l fic until I’m dead and gone. Not to mention there’s a cat and Levi won’t admit he likes it, or he’s jealous of it. Simply cannot go wrong here.

waves know shores by @onwiings

Bro I don’t even like the idea of public sex and I’m not even a fan of water like that but this fic has me wrapped around it’s pinky lmfaoooo. Some of the best Levi smut I’ve read and you already know how I feel when Levi and reader have cute interactions with the 104th in fics. Really it’s checking every item on my list.

Eren

speed racer by @emeren

I’m pretty sure I found this fic during my midterms last semester, and when I tell you I’m so grateful for it lmaooo. It’s really just a good au, I think it fits Eren (honestly barking at just the concept) and the writing brings it all to life.

under the moonlight by @murmikaa

I’d have to be dumb not to recommend this to you. I love reading longer fics, and if you do, then this will 100% satisfy you. The whole story is great and immersive, not just between Eren and the reader; their relationships with the other characters are really what makes this special imo. There’s also beach sex, so. Obviously it’s good.

untitled.avi by @puredivinity (now @celestidarling)

Naur you must of thought wrong if you thought at least one of Mara’s fics wouldn’t be here. I’m obsessed, I think I’ve read it three times minimum. I read all her Eren fics, and you should too. She writes him in such a dreamy way, almost like he’s right there and too good to be true that you must be hallucinating. Immaculate.

midnight snacks by @writertitan

Dumb, college-typical antics and fluff with Eren... obviously you know I’m about that. The whole concept is so mundane, but so cute, you can’t help but fall for it because it could be so real!! I love that kinda stuff hehe

i’m your satellite by @ackerfics

Comparing hand sizes with Eren!! YEAAAAH!! No, okay, but I read the summary and was ready to dive in because... size kink go crazy, but when I tell you I was so blown away to find out that it was not only from Eren’s pov, but that he was being a complete simp and down terrible the whole time. Normalize boyfriends being completely fucking in love with their gfs that simple shit like the size of their hand makes them wanna simp even harder!!!!

eren as an ass man by @hznji

I’m dying on the hill that Eren is an ass guy and you should too because it’s the objective truth. Fluff, Eren being a complete dog as per usual, Eren’s being touchy (I will also die on the hill that he’s touchy as fuck and has no concept of personal space) and just in genral snarky but cute banter. Gotta love that.

Jean

tears over beers by @appplepii

When I tell you this is my favorite Jean fic, I mean it. Friends to lovers with hopelessly pining Jean + oblivious reader = everything I could have asked for in a fic, AND it’s from Jean’s pov too!!! INCREDIBLE!!! The pining made me yearn, and the smut was so well done, too.

this drabble by @arlerted

Whatever, whatever, WHATEVER!!! I DON’T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!!! Cal is right, don’t do drugs but... this mf... this imagine.... has been burned into my mind since the first time I fucking read it bye. Callie also writes a bunch of filthy (affectionate <3) fics and drabbles and lewds and you should read them, preferably when you’re alone and with the lights off.

#anonymous #um you probably didnt ask for 1k words worth of reviews but here u go anyway!!!#fic recs

344 notes · View notes

hyunjilicious · 4 years ago

Text

fwb [s. stan/c. evans/h.cavill]

A/n: DO NOT ask me why I wrote this. I have no idea why I did this to myself, but I thought I’d share anyway!

Summary: no matter how you put it, a catching feelings while you’re in a fwb relationship isn’t good! (SMUT, FLUFF, angst?) 9.2k

Warnings: threesome, dirty talk, unprotected sex, spanking, slapping, daddy kink, size kink, degradation, humiliation, oral, pain kink (+/- some dubcon), submission, cum play... issa lot ok? don’t read if any of these make you uncomfortable!! 18+

This is a standalone fic, and not part of any series. However, come talk to me about it, please!! Tell me what you thought!! And don’t forget to reblog in case you enjoyed it!!

"Last question-" the interviewer announced. She turned around the papers in her lap and placed them to the side, before she intertwined her fingers and looked up at you with a devious grin on her lips. "I have to ask this, Y/n. We all need to know, who's your favorite? Superman or Captain America?"

Of course you couldn't help but chuckle, shaking your head at the question she came up with. It was fair to assume you hadn't been asked this before for the sole purpose of avoiding a scene, but the lady standing in front of you seemed overly pleased with herself. Unlike Henry and Chris, who were seated on either side of you. Even if you didn't actually turn to look at them, you could feel their glares throw daggers. Anticipation floated in the room, and judging by the way they just softly chuckled or refrained from making any kind of comment, you knew how anxiously they were awaiting your answer.

"I-" you said, before bursting into laughter.

"Even I would choose Superman," Chris joined in, placing a hand on his chest for emphasis. "Dude's got X-ray vision. He's faster than light, he can fly. He's the real deal" he raised his palms, ready to accept his defeat.

"See-?" Henry butted in, and you giggled, more to yourself, at the game they started playing. You knew very well it was nothing but a big, fat, obvious trap. "Superman's got all of those, but Captain America still manages to save the world time and time again, without superpowers. I think that makes him greater"

Oh, how screwed you were.

"So, Y/n?" the interviewer pushed, ever so obviously satisfied with the tension she created, "Who will it be? Steve or Clark?"

In turn, you looked at both of them. Henry was smiling his ass off, waiting for you to say the wrong name, while Chris seemed to be lost in thought.

"Ugh, ok" you took a deep breath, and glanced into the camera, "I'm sorry, but I'm Team Cap. I gotta be."

Whereas Henry accepted the defeat with stride and sweetly mentioned he couldn't ever blame you for choosing Captain America, Chris was ecstatic. He didn't even try to hide his excitement, the chair nearly breaking under his energetic jolts of pride.

After a few more unimportant comments were made, the interview ended and the lights were turned off. You all hopped off your seats and walked over to the buffet table, your conversation still going strong.

"Really, Y/n? Cap?" Henry taunted, his voice low and mocking, right against your ear lobe as you popped a cheese stick into your mouth. "This guy? Why did you have to do me like that, hm?"

Henry placed the tip of his finger under your chin and elegantly prompted you to look up at him.

"I don't know, man" Chris laughed from somewhere behind you, "I think I own fair and square, Cap is just the better superhero"

Henry scowled, glancing at the blonde, over your shoulder. His ice cold eyes made the salty treat get lodged in your throat, and you had to pull away from him in order not to actually choke. "Relax-" you said, raising your hands in defeat as you started walking towards the door, "It's not like I chose between the two of you. That would've been a whole other deal"

"Wait what-?" Chris deadpanned, "What does that mean?" He added, hurrying to follow you and ask for further details.

Needless to say, the subject wasn't dropped until quite a while later. People swarmed you, papers had to be signed and pictures were taken as the employers from all levels of the building gathered outside your dressing room hoping to meet some of their favorite superheroes. It was all a buzz and about 2 hours later, the three of you were finally able to leave, making a beeline from the back door of the building, all the way over to the car that was waiting for you.

You ended up on the backseat, again between them, but this time the atmosphere was relaxed. Your blood only started to boil when Henry asked for the partition to be rolled up. As soon as the space inside the car was divided and you were given your privacy, Henry grabbed your chin and forced you to face him.

"Think I forgot about earlier?" he questioned, his devious grin wide enough so that his perfect teeth became visible.

You giggled and forced yourself out of his hold. Shuffling around the seat, you threw one leg over his thighs and sat down in his lap. Henry looked you up and down, remotely displeased with your attitude but he didn't complain.

You grabbed his cheeks into your palms and pushed yourself up against him, his face now inches away from your chest. "And what are you gonna go?"

He wasn't about to let his guard down, "You're acting all bratty now, but you'll regret that later, baby"

"I doubt that" you teased, bending down to tenderly kiss his sweet lips, "What could you possibly do that I won't like?"

"Wish you hadn't asked that" Henry laughed, his whole frame shaking against yours. He grabbed your ass and squeezed harshly, pressing you closer to him.

"I'm scared" you joked, trailing your lips along his cheeks, knowing just how crazy you could make him.

"Y/n" Chris warned, "Today I'm on your side, but even I can tell you're pushing your luck"

Even if he didn't necessarily manage to deflate your attitude, you plopped down from Henry's lap and resumed your spot between them. The atmosphere didn't get any denser and the topic of conversation swiftly shifted to rudimentary randomness like what food should you order once you got home or whatever plans either of you had for that night. You subtly avoided the word 'date' when you told them you'd be meeting with a friend, and breathed out relieved when they didn't pressure you for details. That was a conversation to be had between 4 walls and with no prying ears.

Once home, your home - they came over, you casually opened the door and meant to make your way inside as if nothing was wrong, but Henry, just as previously stated, had other plans.

Securing a strong hold around your way smaller frame, he lovingly leaned down over your shoulder, "How are you doing, love?" he nonchalantly asked.

His scent overwhelmed your senses, and despite knowing where this was going, you tried to play it off. "Good, you?" you smiled, sinking into his arms.

"We need to talk"

"Do we?" you laughed, but managed to do absolutely nothing in terms of impressing him.

You knew just how much he loved it when you asked for it, and this was not something he'd ever let slide. "Come with me, darling," Henry cooed, gently guiding you into the bedroom.

You followed him without showing any kind of resistance, turning around in his hold and wrapping your arms around his neck. You stumbled backwards down the hallway, sloppily kissing his lips.

Much to your surprise, he was more than eager to reciprocate, his palms burning through the soft material of clothing that covered your sides. He kissed you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth with so much fervor, as if he had been deprived for too long.

Henry clumsily opened the bedroom door, stumbling forward with you against him, until he reached the bed. Considering how weak you were for him and how you always allowed yourself to get molded by his will, when he pushed you back against the bed, you fell with a small huff and remained there, only your eyes following him.

"What are you doing?" you asked, seeing him open your closet and actually step inside to look behind the corner.

Before he even started to answer your question, Chris walked into the room. He was casually undoing the buttons of his shirt as he strolled past the bed.

"Hi-" you giggled, extending your hands towards him. All you wanted was some attention.

"Hi, baby" Chris laughed, bending down to kiss your forehead. "You're gonna be good for us, ok? I don't wanna have to go to hard on you"

"Then don't" you pouted.

"That's only up to you" he added, straightening his back and finishing up on undoing his buttons. His tattooed chest became visible and your mouth watered in an instant.

Burning from the inside with anticipation and pure lust, you fell back against the cushions, your thighs uselessly trying to alleviate some of the pain between your legs. But no amount of rubbing and friction would ever match up to the tension in the room, and you loved it.

A couple of moments later, Henry walked out of his closet, dressed exactly the same, clutching tight into his hands the famous superman costume. None of you has ever been too shy when it came to exploring new kinks and desires, but this, you did not see coming.

Your mouth fell open, "Really!?" you almost drooled, but he has probably never been any quicker to burst your bubble.

Staring you down, Henry clutched his fingers into the material of his suit, bringing his hands together in front of his chest, before tearing the material apart with a loud screech. He lightly huffed with the effort, but soon enough, the actual costume fell to the floor by his feet, while the red cape remained neatly wrapped around his fists.

Your eyes widened with enthusiasm and you wanted to shuffle closer to him, but once you pushed yourself up on your knees, you felt a tight grip around your forearms.

Chris pulled you back with force, "Arms up, darling" he chuckled. He didn't even give you a chance to follow his directions, as he yanked your top over your head in an instant and unclasped your bra before leaving your top half completely naked and exposed.

As he plopped down on the bed, Henry came up to you and forced your hands up, using his cape to tie your wrists to the bedpost. His face was hovering inches above yours, and you licked your lips before pushing yourself up to kiss his jawline.

"The hell's gotten into you, hm?" he groaned, tightening the knot. When he looked down, he seemed amused, kind of at the edge between disbelief and satisfaction, as if he actually wished you'd push his buttons. As if he was waiting for you to dig your own grave. "You aren't usually like this"

"Had a great day, that's all" you grinned as you literally met with the two of them approximately half an hour after you woke up. "Ready for it to get better"

"Is it, though-?" Chris laughed, fumbling with the button of your jeans before pulling them down your legs. Off with them also went your underwear, and then there you were, completely naked in front of them, hands tied above your head. "-going to get better, I mean" Chris added, rubbing his hands up and down your thighs.

"I think-" you began answering but Henry stopped you as he gripped your chin.

"Stop talking back, love" he threatened, "Don't you think you said enough today? Look where it's gotten you"

You studied his expression with big, curious eyes, your bottom lip consciously trembling as you muttered a soft excuse. You knew not taking him seriously would get you into even more trouble, but that's what you were all about.

Henry chuckled. Keeping his glare trained on yours he pushed himself up. His big hands found your thighs and forced your legs apart.

With this new, sudden change in position, your eyes landed on Chris who looked down at you as if you were his prey. He had a bottle of beer in his hand, taking small sips as he stood back, allowing Henry to do his part. Even if he wasn't yet taking part first hand in this whole charade, he was ever so obviously still enjoying the show.

You squirmed under their dominating stares, feeling every inch of your body burn with excitement and traces of actual embarrassment that did absolutely nothing other than turn you on even further.

"You know you fucked up, right?" Chris taunted before taking another sip of his beer. His hand reached to cup your thigh, moving it further up until his fingers got dangerously close to your bare pussy. "I mean you're all good in my book, but that's not how things work"

"It could be" you whined.

By now, it should have been clear that talking back was never an option. Chris just smiled sympathetically while Henry clearly showed he wasn't going to have you keep this attitude much longer. He shuffled to the side, responding to your comment with a sharp slap against your bare cunt. "What did you just say?"

The impact made you instinctively gather your legs together but he was quick to stop you. Henry forced your thighs apart again, his thick fingers pushing past your folds just enough to get you to get on alert.

Your eyes snapped to Chris. You never thought of things like this, but just about now, having him on your side seemed like the best idea. Your stomach was tightening from the nerves building up inside your core and you needed his reassurance.

"I'm sorry, doll-" he cocked his head to the side as you watched him, your eyes begging him to stand with you, "You know I'm always here for you, but breaking you is just too much fun, I'm sorry"

"Asshole" you rolled your eyes and regretted it even before Henry delivered another slap against your clit. You cried out and your muscles clenched against your will, your knees bending in a pathetic attempt to curl yourself into a ball.

"Come on, darling" Henry scoffed, easily handling your tantrum and forcing your legs back down, wide open for them. "You're only making this harder. Calm down, take your punishment and then maybe you'll get something in return"

"Ok-" you muttered, shame taking over your senses.

"Ok, what?" Henry pushed and Chris shook his head in disbelief at how unwilling you were to follow your usual instructions.

"Ok, daddy-" you muttered, avoiding their eyes, "I'm sorry I-"

"Little girl-" Henry sighed, sinking two fingers into your dripping pussy, "Already apologising? Where did that attitude go? Your punishment didn't even start yet"

"Fuck" you cried.

Despite knowing it wasn't a good idea, you rocked your hips along his fingers. Deciding to let you play along, Henry pressed his thumb against your clit, applying that minimal amount of pleasure he knew would have you hollering.

And when you moaned for the first time, he stopped. He stopped completely and retracted his hand, leaving you craving his touch. Again, you felt exposed and it only translated into a painful sensation deep inside your belly.

Arching your back as a whine escaped your lips, you squeezed your eyes shut, "Come on!! Please-"

"Not yet, angel" Henry countered, spreading your legs again.

As he held one of your thighs, Chris grabbed the other one, both their hands gripping your flesh hard enough to bruise. You already whimpered in pain, but when the real round of slapping began you felt like your throat would eventually cave.

"Cry if you have to, angel. Just be a good girl" Henry taunted.

You struggled against their hold with each blow delivered to your sensitive pussy, crying out and begging for them to stop. You never did try to count, so you had no idea how long it took, as when he stopped, you fell down into the mattress, the pain dissipating into a burning sensation across your legs.

"Easy there-" Henry cooed, his big hand cupping your cunt, gently rubbing the sensitive skin he had just abused.

Tears rolled down your temples as you failed to calm down your breathing. "Fuck, ok, I get it-" you sniffled, turning your head around to hide your face into your shoulder, "I'm sorry, please. I'm sorry"

"Look at me, pet" Henry commanded, softly guiding your chin in order to uncover your face, "Don't hide from us. You're so beautiful crying like that, you have no idea"

A new fresh wave of tears streamed from your eyes, "Th-thank you..."

Ever so softly, Chris moved your thighs, separating them again. He kneeled between your legs, lowering himself until you could feel his breath against your folds. "Breathe, pet-" he cooed, pressing a lingering kiss to your clit.

Involuntarily, you flinched, your hips bucking. "Easy, baby-" Chris said barely above a whisper, placing a hand on your tummy to push you back down, "Relax for me, ok?"

He swiped his tongue along your folds, forcing you to suck a deep breath, "You good?" Henry asked, his hand exploring your naked chest.

You nodded up at him.

"We barely started, ok?" Chris said, pushing himself up, "You'll be a good girl for us?"

"Yes" you nodded with eagerness.

"Full sentences-" Henry nudged, lovingly caressing your abdomen, "I know it can be a lot for you, take your time"

You swallowed deeply, "Yes.. yes, I will be a good girl for you"

"Good" he cooed, leaning down. You pushed yourself up to meet his lips, but he stopped midway, tapping your chin, "Open up, baby"

Slowly, your jaw lowered, as you stared up at him, big awaiting eyes and mouth wide open.

And he made you wait, finally sending you a lewd grin before spitting on your tongue. You felt it dribble down towards the back of your throat before you swallowed proudly. You wanted to open your mouth again, but he hurried to distance himself from you.

With a harsh slap against your tits, he pushed himself up. Henry grabbed your thighs, gathering your knees together. He pulled your legs up until your hips lifted from the bed and your upper back supported most of your weight, your knees close to your chest.

"Such a beautiful pussy" Chris chimed in, his face inches away from your opening.

Never in your life had you felt this exposed and humiliated, but you swallowed your pride and remained motionless, not wanting to get on their bad side again.

"Are you ready?" Henry asked.

"For- for what?" you panicked.

"Wrong answer" he scoffed, slapping your ass. You yelped in pain and wiggled in his hold, but he didn't stop. He spanked your ass again, and again, and again, his palm hitting the bare skin off your cheeks, pussy and asshole. "Try again, little girl."

"I- I'm… I'm ready"

"See?" Chris beamed, spitting on your pussy. You felt it run down your folds until it reached your ass. "That's the kind of slut we want. One that says yes without even knowing what we're talking about"

"Come on" Henry huffed, slapping your cunt one more time before letting your body back down on the mattress again. He moved up along your frame and undid your hands.

You were eager to relax your shoulders and to feel the blood flow through your arms again, but as soon as he released you from the bedpost, he brought your wrists together, tying them up again. "I wish I didn't have to keep you restrained like this, but how can I know what goes through that dumb little head of yours?"

You shook your head no, trying to tell him you were actually planning on doing anything stupid, but Chris understood something else completely.

"Nothing goes through that pretty head?" he laughed, and Henry couldn't help but chuckle along.

Embarrassed, you hid your face and looked down.

"Don't be like that, baby-" Chris added, bending down over your body to caress your cheek, "You know we're right. You don't need to be ashamed, we like you like this"

His thumb rubbed along your bottom lip before he leaned down all the way and kissed you. His tongue barged into your mouth, dominating you completely as you barely managed to keep up with him. "A dumb little slut, crying for cock. That's what you are, aren't you?"

"Yes, daddy"

"Then why did you hide your face?"

"I- I don't know…" you mumbled.

"You know we keep you around just to fuck you, so I don't see why you'd get shy all of a sudden"

"I'm sorry-" you nodded, licking your lips, uselessly trying to moisten them. "I didn't get shy, I-"

"So you like being our fuck slut?"

"Yes"

"Just a set of holes for me and Cavill over here to cum in, right?" he questioned, before kissing your forehead. "Our beautiful, little girl" You smiled at the pet name and looked up expectantly. His gaze lowered and his expression became stern again. "Get on all fours, darling. Time to make yourself useful"

With every movement of your legs, your cunt ached more and more, but you followed his command and pushed yourself up. Once on your hands and knees, you saw them get into position too. Chris crawled behind you as Henry settled before you, his crotch inches away from your face.

Your mouth watered as you heard their zippers being undone, and looked at them in turn, unable to hide your enthusiasm.

At this point, you were eager for whatever they'd throw at you. Being in that mind state always made everything better. You existed in a haze, a world of blur where it was just you and your daddys. You wiggled your ass expectantly and licked your lips with absolutely no worry. In your head it was perfect.

Your bubble was burst by a harsh tug at the roots of your hair as Henry turned your head so you'd look up at him. He fumbled with his cock, giving himself a few pumps.

Just watching him with big, excited eyes, you opened your mouth for him. He chuckled at your state of pure submission and placed his leaking tip on your tongue, your lips instantly closing around him.

At this point, he still allowed you to control your own movements as you did a satisfying enough job at bobbing your head on his cock. You sucked with determination, hollowing your cheeks and taking him as deep as you could without gagging.

Your exquisite performance was interrupted when you felt something big and round trail along your folds, your eyes snapping wide open when you felt it enter you. Chris pushed his cock in with a satisfying grunt, slapping your ass in the process.

"Fuck, yes!" he exclaimed, his massive member spreading your walls apart.

A lump formed in the back of your throat, the feeling of being filled to the prim, overwhelming you. You were aware your rigorous sucking turned into a pathetic excuse as soon as Chris started rocking your body back and forth along his dick, as now, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get your mind to focus.

Seemingly not at all bothered by your suddenly sloppy blow job performance, Henry tightened his hold around your roots, keeping your head in place as he started fucking your mouth.

The simple fact that at this point, all you had to do was stay there and take it, made it close to impossible to not lose yourself. As Chris picked up his pace, using your hips and maneuvering your body to fit his needs the right way, your pleasure started building up in the pit of your stomach.

"Come on, baby-" Henry called, "Ready to take good care of daddy?"

And he asked this just to mock you, as your mouth was full of cock and he wasn't about to let you take a break. You only blinked, hoping to send the message along, despite knowing he wasn't waiting for an answer.

He steadied his hold on your roots and then forced you down his cock, his tip barging in through your neck, completely blocking your air supply. You remained there, not fighting against his hold, as Chris continued slamming his cock balls deep into your pussy.

The momentum of his thrusts pushed you forward, the ever so soft movement of your neck making Henry grunt with pleasure every time your body rocked into him. And they kept going, using you from both angles to fit their desires.

When it got too much, you felt tears prickle at the corner of your eyes as you saw no way out. You whined against his cock, your throat violently constricting in hopes of getting some air.

"A bit more" Henry cooed, maintaining his hold as you squirmed against it.

"Holy fuck-" Chris belted, both his palms relasing your hips only to be able to slap your ass harshly. "That's right, clench that pussy. Should fucking choke you more often when you're on my dick"

All you could do was whimper, forcing yourself to hold back cough after cough until you could no more. Tears streamed down your face as you started panicking, only then having Henry release you from his grip.

If he hadn't actually maintained his hold, you'd have crumbled into the mattress, a choking mess between their massive bodies. But Henry held on to you, pulling you up as Chris lowered his pace.

"Do you know how good you are, angel?" he asked, his thick British accent rolling off his tongue as exhaustion built up in his veins.

You nodded weakly, and smiled with awe when he wiped your tears away with his thumb.

"I'd keep this mouth on my cock all the damn time if I could-" Henry added, his tone deep and loving despite the condescending note of his words. "Are you ready to go again?"

You whimpered a soft, "Yes-" voice so whiny that if you weren't so deep into sub space, you'd have cringed hearing yourself. "Please..."

Chris bent down over you, his sweaty chest pressing against your back as he wrapped his arms around your frame, his greedy hands coming to cup either of your breasts. He buried his face into your neck and then kissed along your shoulders. "Are you close, baby girl?" he asked, burying his cock deeper inside your belly, "You wanna cum on my cock?"

As you breathed out, you nodded a weak yes. A smile instantly reached the corners of your mouth as Chris found your clit. He rubbed slow, intricate circles around it, your pleasure translating into sobbing moans. "Now take Henry's cock inside that little mouth of yours, and when you're getting close, you give me a sign, yeah?"

"Ok" you panted, curious about what he must have had planned.

The curiosity swiftly left your mind as your eyes landed on Henry's dick again. He was close too, the amount of precum leaking out of his tip, giving away that fact. He allowed some of it to dribble onto your chin, lightly slapping your face before popping your mouth open.

Pressing your tongue flush against the underside of his cock, you fervently sucked away as Chris started picking up his pace again. As if you weren't already close to losing any kind of self control, the painful slaps he inflicted upon your ass drove you over the edge.

You maniacally wiggled your feet against the messy blankets, giving Chris the promised signal.

Or at least you thought you gave it to him, as the next thing you felt was being pushed down along Henry's cock again. You took him deep down along your throat, moaning loudly against his member as an orgasm overwhelmed you. Tears of pleasure rolled down your cheeks as your body convulsed between them.

The sensation made your chest tighten and the lack of air started getting you dizzy. The electrifying feeling pulsed along your limbs, engulfing your middle in a sea of liquid fire. You didn't even feel the need to breathe as your mind rolled down a spiral of bliss. A whole white blur covered you as your brain stopped processing the information, too keen on sucking every last drop of pleasure from the orgasm you just received.

You were only pulled out of this trance when Henry pushed you off his cock, reality hitting you like ice cold water. You gasped for air, falling face first into the mattress, struggling to even breathe.

Not that you cared at that point, but neither of them asked you to resume your position. Instead, they shuffled off the bed, and with a soft slap against your raised ass, called for your attention.

"Come here, little girl" Chris demanded.

That was not the kind of information you were able to process, so again, they had to do all the work. With a harsh grip on your upper arms, they effortlessly grabbed you and forced you to your knees between them.

You looked up with what was probably the most obedient stare you had ever given them. You had two massive cocks hanging inches away from your face, and of course, your first instinct was to grab them as you popped your tongue out.

"No, kitten-" Henry laughed, petting your head and softly pushing you back. "Stay still"

And you did. Took a deep breath, finally feeling the engines inside your brain resuming their work. All your senses came back to you and it was as if you had been in a dream. Still, the excitement of seeing both Henry and Chris pump their cocks inches away from your face was difficult to contain.

"You swallow all, yeah?" Henry groaned, looking down at you with hooded, hungry eyes. "Don't use your hands. Use that slutty tongue"

Soon, hot cum started erupting from his tip, most of it landing directly into your mouth. Each time you swallowed you bobbed your head, proudly smiling up at them at the great job you were doing.

"Good girl" he muttered, his voice hoarse and out of tone.

All that changed when Chris grabbed your shoulder. He growled out loud as his orgasm reached him, and he threw his head back, still furiously pumping his cock into his fist.

"Holy mother of - fuck - !"

You did your best to get as much as you could inside your mouth, but your cheeks were a mess, your tongue only managing to spread their cum more than actually lick it off.

When they were both done, Chris helped you up as Henry kissed your forehead before walking out of the room without another word. The blonde cradled you to his chest, heaving as he held you.

"Such a good, little angel" he whispered into your ear. He was still panting, his hands clammy against your back, but he pushed through, focusing his energy on reassuring and soothing you.

"How are you, baby? Talk to me a bit" Chris pleaded, rubbing your cheek, "I wanna see those eyes"

As if every muscle contraction took up too much energy, you barely managed to look up at him, the most innocent of looks in your eyes. "I'm feeling really good" you sighed, leaning back against his chest.

"Good-" he laughed, his whole frame shaking as he hugged you closer, "Does anything hurt?"

"Everything" you giggled.

"Ok-" he sighed, accepting his defeat, "I'll ask again after we shower. You're all fucked out now"

"I like that" you mumbled as you all but drooled on him, sleep starting to envelop you.

"Would have been worried if you didn't"

Again, despite your direct state, you couldn't help but laugh with him. You softly pushed yourself up to plant a kiss against his naked chest.

Chris rubbed the back of your head as you did so.

"Hey-" Henry called as he walked into the room, but neither you nor Chris bothered to do anything else other than look in his direction. None of you moved. "Just a ran a bath-" Henry added, pointing to the bathroom, "Please don't fall asleep"

Chris helped you up and you wobbled your way across the room. "I'll go downstairs and shower" he said.

"You never wanna join us" you pouted.

"Just not really big on baths, that's all" Chris reassured you and then made his way out of the room.

After that, another wave of bliss followed. Another kind however. Henry washed every inch of your body, his careful hands caressing every dip and curve your frame. His lips were mostly on yours as he did so, never missing a chance to bring you even closer.

"Thank you" you mumbled, leaning against the marble wall as you watched him soap his broad chest.

Henry cluelessly raised his eyebrows, the movement of his hands slowing down as he waited for you to continue.

"For helping me wash up" you smiled, "You always do, but still. Thanks"

"No problem, darling" Henry nodded, gathering you closer again, and kissing your forehead. He got soap all over you again, and didn't even try to hide the fact that he loved having to help you rinse again.

A short while later, probably about 20 minutes or so, it was again the three of you, back in bed. You were laying between them. Judging by the light snores that danced off his lips and the peaceful way his chest rose and fell, Chris must have fallen asleep long before you and Henry finished showering. The sun started descending from the sky and the orange light in the room painted the perfect picture.

You cuddled into Henry's side, feeling your heart tickle the inside of your chest when he reciprocated the gesture. His warm breath graced the skin of your forehead as he gave you a longing kiss, barely even bothering to pull back before settling for a deep sleep.

You drifted off, content and with a smile on your lips, elated with what the day brought so far, and bubbling with anticipation for whatever surprises it might still have hidden.

By the time you woke up, fully rested, the sun was already sinking low behind the horizon, a red, tainted sky following in its footsteps. Extracting yourself from Henry's bear hold turned out to be much more than you expected, his reluctance to let you go, even in his sleep, making you giggle.

"How are you, sweetheart?" Chris asked, his voice a fresh tingle to your ears.

"Good-" you sighed, settling to lay down just a bit more. You kissed Henry's bicep as it spawned all across your chest, action which made him pull you even closer. "What time is it?"

"A bit past 6" Chris answered, rolling onto his side to face you. His shoulders slumped together making his chest stand out, but before you got a chance to take in the view, he cluelessly pulled up the covers all the way up to his nose. "Got any plans?"

"Yeah" you nodded, trying Henry's arm again, but he refused to budge once again. "I told you guys"

For a few seconds, Chris looked at you amused, and with a shake of his head, he grabbed Henry's hand, shaking him awake. "Wake up, buddy. Y/n's gotta get ready"

"No" Henry croaked, his light scruff tickling the back of your neck.

To be fair, you were excited for your plans, but in a way, your heart broke thinking about leaving that bed. Eventually you did, the cold of the room clinging to your body in an instant.

You shivered your way to the bathroom, quickly washing up before returning to the bedroom. The scenery hadn't changed at all, the two men still lingering at the edge between dream and reality, their phone screens perfectly accentuating their lazy expressions.

Swiftly making your way past the bed, you slapped the light switch on, the warm light of your candelabra flooding room, much to their simultaneous dismay. "Why- just no, turn it off-"

"Yeah, sure-" you sarcastically responded, stepping past the ruined superman costume on the floor, and opening the closet doors. You grabbed a pair of underwear and stepped inside it, before rummaging for your favorite bra. "I'll just get ready in a pitch black room. Of course"

None of them was impressed.

"Who are you seeing anyway?" Chris questioned.

You smiled innocently despite doing your best not to, and then turned to face them. "Sebastian"

"What" Henry gawked, sitting up in an instant, his frown taking over the previous sweetness of his features.

"What do you mean what?"

"Yeah, haven't you two-" Chris began speaking but Henry cut him off with absolutely no remorse.

"You haven't seen each other in two weeks. I thought that was done for"

As you finally found your bra, you slipped your arms under its straps and pulled them up your shoulders. "We haven't seen each other because he's been visiting his family. We kept talking"

"Talking?" Henry raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah we-" you sighed and then stopped. "Why are you acting like this? This is nothing new"

"I just-" Henry tripped over his words, shaking his head at the awkwardness he brought to the table. "I don't know, I'm sorry. I just didn't know it was that serious yet, that's all"

"It's not" you said, walking over to your makeup table and sitting down on the small, velvet chair. "We wouldn't be here if it was, would we?"

"I don't know, hun" Chris huffed, lazily slipping out of the bed. The way he walked made it look as if every muscle contraction pained him, leaning from side to side as he close to crawled his way to the bathroom.

In the process, you caught sight of his naked body in the reflection in your mirror, catching everything from his tattooed chest, to his massive thighs and still impressive cock.

"He's a great guy. I hope things work out if you decide he's the one for you"

"Is he?" Henry chirped, making you turn to him, a thick layer of concealer that still had to be blended, smudged under your eyes.

"We said we're taking things slow, you know this" you sighed, waving your brush around, "We're not exclusive. We're not a couple. We're just- I don't know, dipping our toes. We don't wanna fuck this up."

"Then why are you here with us?"

Perhaps the words slipped past Henry's lips a bit too harshly. You did not expect that. Not from him.

"Uh-" you muttered, feeling cornered, "Listen, he's just one of my best friends. And I really like him, I never lied to him. He knows about you two. We're just-" and then you stopped again, dropping your sentence as your brows furrowed above a pointed look. "Since we started this thing, you both have slept with other people and I never said anything about it. But now that I actually find someone I like, you act like I've committed a crime. Why are you allowed to-"

"Ok, I'm sorry" Henry jumped to stop you, clumsily leaving the bed and padding over to you. "That was incredibly rude of me, I'm sorry"

"What's up?" you asked sweetly, dearly wanting to help ease the pain that upclose was so clearly visible behind his sad, blue eyes.

And he hesitated, his eyes snapping to the window behind you before he licked his lips. "I just got comfortable, that's all. I care about you a lot, and I'll miss your sweet little body but if he makes you happy, I'll happily trade our encounters for... coffee dates?"

"Thank you, Henry-" you giggled, warming up at his sudden and sincere confession.

He kissed your forehead, the epitome of love gestures. His lips quivered, and brushed against your skin a few times before allowing you to finish getting ready.

Time had flown unreasonably fast, and in a matter of seconds, you found yourself running around the room, blazing through the last steps of your process, despite it not being neither tedious nor elaborated. To be fair, Sebastian was the only man in your life who you never tried to impress with your looks.

You felt appreciated and understood in his presence. He smiled when you talked and pecked your lips every chance he got. He was your friend before anything else, and regardless of the harsh reality you lived in, the status of your relationship changing was what you craved the most. He made you open up without even trying, his sense of stability and unconditional acceptance making you end up on his doorstep, dressed in just a hoodie and jeans, a bottle of wine in tow, ready to just kick back and feel your ultimate best.

For whatever reason, your heart started banging uncontrollably against your ribcage as soon as you knocked. When you heard the lock turn, your knees weakened.

He sprung the door open, welcoming you with open arms. You just took a step in and threw yourself against his chest, your cheek pressing against his shoulder as he brought you closer.

The fresh smell of his aftershave reached your senses, and you rubbed your nose against his perfectly soft jaw line. "You shaved," you smiled, knowing just how much he hated to do so when it wasn't absolutely necessary.

"Thought it was about time" Sebastian laughed, his right arm still tight around your back as he leaned to the side to close the door.

You only then realised you didn't even bother to put your bag down, take your shoes off or even say hello before going in for a hug. You felt your cheeks burn at the realisation, but he did not seem to mind at all.

"Come on, make yourself comfortable," Sebastian said, starting to advance further into his apartment. You took off your shoes, and just when you were about to enter the living room, the delicious smell of basil stopped you and made you turn around.

You headed into the kitchen, your eyes landing on his tall frame, his back facing you as he stirred something on the stove.

"You're cooking?" you asked, whiny with admiration and awe.

"Yes" he beamed, turning around. Only then did you notice what he was wearing. His usual black jeans and socks, but he had ditched his trademark sweaters, opting for an elegant button up instead. The sleeves were rolled up around his elbows, and he rocked a pair of fluffy house slippers, red with blue stripes, not fitting his attire in any way, shape or form.

You placed the wine bottle on the counter, and approached him cautiously. "What- um, what are you making?"

You felt bad, ungrateful and undressed. Where were his pajamas and the take out he always ordered? Did you miss something?

"There's this amazing spaghetti recipe I learned from my mum" he grinned proudly, eyeing the multitude of ingredients laid out all across the table. "It's not traditional or anything. She perfected the recipe over the years and you just have to try it"

"Smells delicious already" you giggled, looking around the kitchen.

The atmosphere was soft and warm, the lights were dimmed and slow blues tunes were playing in the background. It was nothing like you were used to.

You offered to help, but he insisted on finishing up alone. You always washed his dishes because he absolutely hated doing it, and you were also the one who always put his leftovers in the fridge, as he always forgot them on the table, cluelessly letting them spoil. It felt only natural to do so right now, so you made your way to the sink, and waited for the water to heat up.

"Stop" Sebastian laughed, coming up beside you to turn the faucet off. "Just relax for once, please" he begged, his hands on your waist effortlessly turning you around.

Your lower back pressed against the edge of the sink as he caged you in, his eyes warm and ambitious, boring into yours.

"I just want to help" you smiled.

"Not now" he shook his head, "We'll clean up later. Or tomorrow"

His words caused a lump to grow inside your throat, your lips involuntarily parting in surprise. You never spent the night at his apartment, and fervid anticipation started to surge through you.

"What’s going on?" you asked, cupping his cheek.

Sebastian leaned into your touch, his eyes all but fluttering closed. "Nothing. Why?"

As he spoke, he grabbed your wrist into his hand and brought your palm to his lips, kissing your soft skin as his eyes awaited your answer.

"I don't know…" you mumbled, feeling yourself melt. He was too close, too attentive and too focused on you, it felt so difficult to breathe. "Don't get me wrong, please. I absolutely love everything you did. But this is new. We never did anything like this before, what changed?"

"Is it bad?" he cautiously asked, planting his hands on the counter on either side of your hips. "That I want things to change between us?"

Your heart swelled. All the signs pointed in the right direction, but his words still managed to get your adrenaline going. "Change… how?"

As soon as you spoke, you felt like throwing up. You couldn't help but wonder how dumb could you have been, to ask something like this. As if it wasn't obvious, but your brain was too busy drowning in excitement to actually allow you form any coherent thoughts.

"I mean-" he hesitated, his confidence shaking a bit. He looked to the side, licked his lips and then playfully rolled his eyes as the corners of his lips turned upwards, showing you that perfect smile you loved so much. "While I was visiting my family, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. My mom just couldn’t understand why I didn’t bring you along. I don't just want you for a date a week and a kiss after we drank enough wine. I needed that time apart to gather the courage to make the first step" he confessed. "I really fucking like you. I want all of you"

"Oh-" you froze.

"Please-" Sebastian whispered, gently tilting your chin up. "Tell me now if you want me to back off, because I'm really struggling to not kiss you right now"

As much as you wanted to tell him to do it, you refrained from doing so. Instead, you just grinned up at him, your eyes sparking with lustful temptation. He watched you closely, and when he figured out your play, he shook his head in disbelief for the briefest second.

Following that, there was no awkwardness left. He engulfed your lips into the most passionate kiss. His tongue pathetically begged for permission, which you didn't hesitate to give. He explored your mouth as if it was the sweetest thing he ever tasted, kissed you deeply, moaning against your lips as his hands hazardously roamed your body. No matter what you did, you felt like you couldn't get close enough. You clung onto him, fisting the delicate material of his shirt into your hands, desperately trying to gather him against you.

Sebastian was the one to break the moment, grabbing your cheeks as he pulled back. His lips were wet and slightly swollen, as he ruggedly breathed out against your skin. "So?"

"So, what?" you teased.

"Come on" he whined, kissing you again, this time more aggravated and determined. "Can we do this? Do you want it?"

"Are we going all out? Real couple? Exclusive, all strings attached kind of thing?" you beamed with excitement and so did he, hearing you.

"If you want to," Sebastian nodded. "I don't want to pressure you, but I'm crazy about you"

"You're not pressuring me. I adore you, Seb. I'm all yours"

"What did you just say?" he smirked, kissing your lips and moving down along your jawline, "That you're all mine? Pretty sure I've never heard anything more beautiful in my whole life"

"Well, you'd better get used to it" you giggled.

And the goodness kept coming. You ate and god, how grateful were for his mum's recipe, it was simple, delicious and it tasted like home. Sebastian refused to tell you how to make it just so he could be your personal chef and cook it for you any time you wanted.

You cleaned the kitchen together, ate cake until the button of your jeans threatened to burst, and then settled on the couch, drinking red wine while scrolling through Netflix.

As ethereal as everything was, there was still a weight pressing down on your shoulders. You didn't want your relationship to start with you already hiding things from him, so you decided there was a conversation that really needed to be had.

"Sebastian?" you asked softly, grabbing his upper arm and squeezing lightly in order to get his attention.

"Yes, doll?" he hummed, a little bit distraught, before returning to search through the channels.

"Can you look at me a bit?" you muttered, "I wanna talk to you about something"

It was then he realised you were serious. Without question, he turned the TV off and leaned back on the couch, his slightly concerned eyes studying your features. "Are you ok?"

"Yes" you giggled and he visibly relaxed.

"Did I-"

"You didn't do anything!" you stopped him again, leaning down to kiss his lips. He was happy to reciprocate, but you didn't allow things to escalate. "I want to talk about something, and -" you cringed, your palms watering, "And I totally understand if it'll chance the way you see things"

"What are you talking about?"

He was rubbing your thigh, visibly growing impatient. But he allowed you to speak at your own pace.

"Um… you remember a while ago, I told you I was in that kind of a friends with benefits relationship?"

"Yeah" he nodded, "What about-"

"It is obviously over now that we took things to the next step, but these are my best friends we're talking about here. I just... couldn't help but wonder... I don't know… I feel like it wasn't fair to you.. considering how that went on until very very recently and-"

"Babe?" Sebastian stopped you, his voice soft and eyes even more so, "What are you trying to say? Did you think I'd be mad because you had sex before being in a relationship with me?"

"Huh" you gawked, "When you put it like that, it sounds really fucking stupid"

"I'm sorry, Y/n, but it kind of is" he laughed, shaking his head, "You're a free woman, you can do whatever you want. You don't have to explain yourself to me, especially when it comes to things like this"

"So you.. don't mind me seeing them again? Like friends, of course!"

He frowned a bit, scratching the back of his head. "I trust you, ok? I like to think that you wouldn't have been here with me if you had any feelings for any of them."

"Thank you"

"Come here-" Sebastian urged you, eager to bring you close against his chest again. He rubbed your back and rested his head on top of yours, "I really appreciate you telling me this. It was bugging you, and I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me"

"I was worried it would be sitting in the back of your mind and you would feel uncomfortable bringing it up. I felt like I had to, like I owed you that much since you were so understanding with this thing from the beginning-"

"You don't owe me anything ok? I don't care what you did in the past, that's your business. I care what you do now, here, with me. And I might be blindly in love, but I doubt I have any reasons to worry"

"You really don't" you mumbled, settling into his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck, "I'm so happy to be here with you, I don't want anything else"

"Me neither, doll, me neither" he sighed, kissing your temple and bringing you closer.

The night ended relatively early. If you were in love with him at the beginning of the evening, now you were head over heels. You fell asleep cuddling, and you had never felt so loved before. Deep down inside, you regretted not allowing things to escalate, but sleeping with him so soon after your last encounter with Henry and Chris just didn't feel right. And of course he understood. The awe and respect for you was visible in his eyes when you explained what was holding you back. That night you slept better than you had in weeks.

The next morning, you left quite early, both of you having your schedules quite full. When you entered your apartment it was quiet and dark, and you couldn't help but smile bitterly at the memories from the day before.

You made your way to the kitchen, and stopped dead in your tracks when you saw a pink bag and a piece of paper right by its side. It didn't take long until you eyed the donuts inside the bag, but you didn't pay too much attention to them as you picked up the letter beside it and read it over.

"Hey, Y/n,

The reason I wrote you this is because I didn't want to interrupt your date, but this has to be said, you deserve that much. I can't lie and say that last night I didn't stay here until 3am hoping you'd come back. It's awful of me, I know, but I really hoped your date would go horribly wrong and that you'd come home early. It's not that I don't want you to be happy… I just wish it wasn't with him. And again, I can't lie and say that I didn't drop by in the morning. I brought you those donuts you love so much, but you weren't here. It was absolutely unfair of me, I know, but during these last few months, I fell in love with you. I know I should've told you before, and I hope you don't think I'm saying this now to burst your bubble. The reason I'm doing this is because you deserve an explanation. I'm sorry, but I can't be around you right now. I need to get you out of my head, and seeing you now, would only make it more difficult. Please don't reach out, you'll only pull me back in. I love you too much, I need some time away to screw my head back on. I'd be lying if I said I won't be waiting for you. Even if I won't actively/purposely do it, I can't imagine a day when I won't jump if you told me to. Please, don't think I'm doing this to hurt you, you're my favorite person in the whole wide world. I will always love you. I wish you and Sebastian the absolute best. This is difficult for me to say, but I hope he is everything you ever wanted. I hope he'll make you happy and treat you like the angel you are. This isn't goodbye or the end of our friendship, it's just me needing to step back. I wish you the best, god knows you deserve it!

PS: I replaced your superman costume, I know you begged me for weeks to give you one, and I ruined it yesterday. I had a spare one at home, it's on your bed now. I hope you don't mind I took the old one with me… you know? Memories...

All my love,

Your Henry"

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