#so im sorry for what you're about to read

[it-was-summer]

Buy Me Presents, Baby

A/N: Minors; DNI. I DONT CAREEE I WANT HIM!! Anyways, this may or may not be based on true events in my life. If you're reading this also know that I wrote this Christmas Eve and it is now 5am on Christmas Day, the powerhouse of lust. Hope you guys like this because I DID NOT proofread this AT ALL!! I mention the pill (oral contraception), so sorry if this is an issue, I'm just a girl. I KNOW there is a typo in here... i know it. Merry Christmas!! My gift is porn!!- Love you, Em

edit- the typo was fully in the title… go to bed at a reasonable time kids.

Link to the Ao3: Buy Me Presents, Baby Link to the: Yee olde masterlist Tags: Woof uhh okay! newly established relationship, Christmas sex, Spanking, Creampie, PnV sex, Reader gets called girl.. I apologize, Oral contraceptives are mentioned at the end, lingerie, that one bow lingerie... yall know which on I'm talking about?, That ONE!! WITH THE BOW YES!!, I had to use the word pussy.. IM SORRT IM NOT HAPPY ABOUT It, dirty talk, cock this cock that, not proofread, merry christmas.

Genre: Porn, no plot. Some fluff? Pairing: Established relationship!Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Plot: You and Spencer exchange gifts for Christmas, and one of your gifts happens to be a little physical.

Word Count: 3,669

Spencer doesn’t know what’s gotten into you. 

Though the longer he thinks about it, he should have seen the signs of your recent… restlessness. Being in the BAU came with its challenges, and one of these challenges was— of course— being away from home. Usually, the two of you would find a special time that worked for both of you to meet up and spend some well-deserved time together. 

Lately, it has felt like the world was against you, though. Every time you had free time, he’d plan a date night with you, only for him to be called away on a case. The one time you planned a date, you came down with a cold. The cycle kept repeating in a million different annoying ways. 

The cherry on top? It was almost Christmas. It's nearly Christmas, and neither of you has seen each other for a good three weeks— it’s miserable. 

So imagine his excitement when his phone doesn’t ring early Saturday morning. When he steps out of his shower, he checks it again— nothing. He’s beaming when he calls you, your sleepy voice answering him before he says, “Dinner tonight?” 

There’s a pause, followed by some rustling, “You’re free?” 

“Mhm,” He hums with a grin, grabbing his glasses from the case and placing them gracefully on his face. 

He can hear the excitement in your voice. " You want to exchange presents?” He remembers the playful tone in your voice when you said it, but at the time, he thought nothing of it. He chuckles softly before agreeing, saying a sweet goodbye, and hanging up the phone. 

Dinner begins and ends at your place, decorated in lights and festive trinkets, and presents wrapped neatly under the fake tree in the corner of your living room. The gift exchange went smoothly; you got Spencer some reading essentials, followed by a special edition of one of his favorite books. Spencer, in turn, had bought you a pair of earrings you pointed out back in November and a framed copy of your favorite painting.

It was getting late now, with a warm cup of tea in his hands, you turned and whispered in a playful voice, “I still have one more gift for you.” 

His eyebrows raised at that, bending his head to look at you as you sat with your back pressed against his chest, “More? After the special edition Tolstoy?” 

“More. I was saving it for the twenty-fifth, but…” You trail off, your eyes leaving his as you glance toward your bedroom. “I could go get it ready now?” 

Spencer smiles, thinking about it momentarily before he decides that he might not be home for Christmas. He mutters a soft “Yeah, okay.” 

You stand up quickly, an excited look in your eyes when you tell him, “Okay, stay here!” And then you’re gone. 

Spencer’s watching your bedroom door close with a faint smile. He stretches as he waits, his tea finished, when he hears you call out for him, “You can come in now!” 

He stepped into your room with nothing but good intentions, that is, until he saw you lying on your bed in lingerie. Maroon satin material lays smooth against your skin, and the shape of a tantalizing bow teases him at the center of your chest and your underwear— barely there. 

He clears his throat in a vain attempt to appear calm and collected, though he’s sure you can see his blushing cheeks and growing arousal. He opens his mouth to speak, but the words die in the back of his throat when you sit up on your elbows, pushing your breast out toward him a little more with an innocent tilt of your head. “You don’t like it?” 

His voice cracks when he says, “No! I mean— that is to say, I do like it! I mean, I’m sure you can see how much I–” He nervously adjusts his sweater, shaky hands pulling at the collar. 

You let out a soft hum, relaxing a little. " Are you going to stand by the door the whole time, or?” You tease him with a low laugh. 

He quickly walks closer, shaking his head as he gets closer to the edge of the bed. The bed dips as he climbs onto the edge of the bed. He watches as you roll on your side to adjust for him, waiting until he is lying beside you before you whisper, “If you don’t want to, it’s okay–” 

“I do! I do. It’s just we’ve only–” He motions between the two of you slowly, replacing the word. “A few times, and I wasn’t expecting,” His eyes trail down to your chest, his fingers twitching– itching to feel the material against his palm.  

When he looks back into your eyes, you smile at him with a little sigh, “I know. I just saw it, and I thought of you.” 

Spencer feels like his entire body is on fire when you say that. His pants become increasingly uncomfortable as he croaks softly, “That made you think of me?” 

You hum a sweet-sounding “Mhm,” you lick your lips, “Cognitive association, right?” 

Spencer thinks you’ll break him with the way you’re talking to him; your voice is low and quiet, clearly amused. He holds back a sound when he feels your hand take his and guide it to your barely clothed hip. For some reason, he wants to spew some facts about cognitive association, but in a rare moment, his mind goes blank. 

His mind slows, and the only thing he can process is the feeling of satin material against your body. He drags his hand along your side, higher and higher, until his fingers trace the bra’s underwire. His eyes flicker over to yours as he leans in, pressing a slow kiss to your lips. 

Kissing Spencer always starts soft, tender, and languid. It then slowly devolves into something passionate, heated, rough– something you adore. And you’re starting to feel the shift in this kiss, his tongue slightly grazing your bottom lip– a silent plea you happily fulfill, parting your lips to let his tongue tentatively enter the kiss. 

You’re smiling into the kiss, shifting with him so you’re under him before grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him deeper into the kiss. Spencer lets out a tiny sound of surprise against your lips at the rough movement, and he pulls away slightly, his lips barely touching yours when he says, “So aggressive,” His tone teasing as he captures your lips in another giddy kiss. 

With your eyes closed and mouth occupied, your hands get to work. Blindly, you pull the bottom of his sweater, your lips only leaving his to help him pull the piece of clothing off his body. He’s eager to get his lips back on yours, his tongue resuming its work against yours, a kiss that makes your head spin and thoughts go hazy with how intense it feels. 

You move your legs up and around his hips, pushing his hips down to yours with ease. Spencer whines into the kiss, his lips moving slowly against yours until he pulls away to kiss your jawline. His hips grind down onto yours, your breath hitching at the feeling. 

Feeling his hardness through his pants makes you realize just how badly you need him, and it seems it does the same for him. His lips latch onto the lower side of your neck, sucking and licking softly at the sensitive area as his hips grind against yours harder. 

The feeling makes your core squeeze around nothing; the new desire to get something, anything, inside you plants a seed in your lower abdomen. You feel shamefully needy as Spencer continues leaving light red and purple marks on the sensitive skin of your neck, his breathing heavy as he decorates you with marks. 

You’re surprised to see that he’s actually moving lower, his markings getting closer to your collarbone when he pulls away, looking up at you with those lust-filled honey eyes, “May I?” The tips of his fingers tug lightly at the satin red bow covering your breasts. 

Your legs leave his hips as he pulls the bow apart with a simple flick of his wrist. His eyes stay trained on your breast as he takes one into his hand and gently rubs at your nipple, eliciting a soft, quiet moan from you, “So pretty,” Then he dips his head lower to bring your left nipple into his mouth, licking at the sensitive bud with precision. 

A sound— embarrassingly loud— escapes your lips at the feeling, your body squirming against his. You’re sure you can feel him smiling against your breast, his right hand moving to your right nipple, pinching it lightly. 

Your fingers latch onto his hair, gently running them through his hair and occasionally pulling when his tongue does something particularly amazing against the bud of your nipple. You can feel electric arousal coursing through you, soft moans and sighs leaving you with every touch. 

However, he’s pulling his lips away from your breast soon after, his cheeks red as he mutters a low, “Need to make sure you cum,” And you find yourself nodding in agreement as his hands leave your breast, pulling the lingerie’s satin thong to the side as he swipes two fingers along your entrance. 

You let out a little sigh, feeling incredibly needy as his fingers brush against your clit teasingly. “Did dressing up like this make you this wet, or did I?” He asks, his fingers curiously leading back down to your entrance. 

Shifting under him, you let out a breathless chuckle, “A bit of both,” 

He grins at that, his head now to the side of yours, his thumb pressing against your clit slowly as he slides a finger inside you. You tense for a second with pleasure before relaxing as the feelings, his finger gently curling inside of you as his thumb presses down harder on your swollen bundle of nerves. “You’ve been fantasizing about this for weeks, haven’t you?” 

His voice against your ear isn’t something you expect, but you aren’t surprised for long as he slides a second finger into you— your thoughts turning to mush, “Yes,” You whisper, your back arching slightly at his fingers move faster inside you, curling and pleasing you at a medium pace. 

Spencer lets out a low hum, his eyes watching you as you get lost in pleasure, his thumb pressing against your clit a little harder as he finds that sweet little spot inside of you. He can feel the way your walls tighten around his fingers, and he’s envious of his own hand, wishing it was his cock instead. 

Your moans only add to personal envy, his fingers moving and caressing your G-spot with greater precision. He tries not to groan, watching you arch your back off the bed. A cry followed by a string of heightened gasps from you has him wholly enraptured. 

When his fingers start to get rough inside you, you’re already seeing stars, your left hand reaching over to grab onto Spencer’s bicep at the feelings, fingers gently digging into his skin as your body shakes. “Love watching you get close,” Spencer groans softly against your ear. 

His lips slowly resume their markings on your neck, and the added stimulation sends you falling over the edge with a loud cry of pleasure. Your body shakes against him, and your high-pitched moans, accompanied by heavy panting, have pride swelling in his chest as his fingers help you ride out your orgasm. 

His fingers only stop when your body goes slack, his lips leaving your neck to gently kiss at your lips— a gesture you return lazily. The feeling of his fingers leaving you has you feeling empty, but you’re quickly distracted as Spencer drags his soaked fingers to his lips. Your eyes widen for a second as you watch your boyfriend lick off every bit of you on them, “Let me get a taste,” Your voice is soft as Spencer leans in, kissing you fast and rough. Your tongue drags along his to get a second-hand taste of yourself in his mouth. 

You’re quick to pull away, your hands hooking into the belt loop of his pants, gently yanking at the loop. Spencer laughs at the feeling, and he looks into your eyes with a shameful look— lustful and pleading. You know how badly he wants to dive straight in, but his determination to make you cum too many times to count usually gets in the way of his cock. 

“Haven’t seen you in three weeks. You can make it up to me later.” You joke softly, your fingers undoing the top button with ease. 

Spencer grins as he slides his pants down his legs, kicking them off. He finds himself blushing at how your eyes shamefully stare at the outline of his cock in his boxers, precum already wetting some of the fabric. He finds himself doing the same with you, though, his eyes taking in the undone ribbon of the lingerie at your sides, the way your legs are parted to give him a delicious view of your dripping sensitive folds. 

Your fingers slip into the waistband of his boxers, gently tracing his cock with your fingers, a soft, pleasured sigh leaving his lips at the feeling. “So hard,” You mutter, leaning up to kiss a part of Spencer’s jaw. 

Spencer lets out a low hum of agreement. Being as busy as he has been, he hasn’t found time for any kind of sexual release as of late. “It’s been a little while since I’ve–” 

“That’s okay,” You sigh sensually, your hands wrapping around his dick slowly, “Take off your boxers.” 

Spencer’s more than happy to comply, hurriedly discarding his boxers at your request. He watches as you pull your hand off him to take off your underwear, and Spencer squeaks out a nervous, “Leave it on?” 

Grinning, you nod, your fingers pushing the thong back to the side of him. He groans at the action, looming over you now, his hands on either side of you. “Flip over,” 

A jolt of excitement runs through you at the request, quickly flipping over on your stomach for him. A pleased sound leaves your lips as his hand moves to pull your hips up, forcing your back to arch for him. He slides his thumb and index inside the sting on your thong as he slowly rubs his cock in between your folds– the head of his cock gently kissing your clit. 

The worst part about being in an established relationship and having just started having sex with your partner is the anxiety that follows you after you say something risky. Your lips part nonetheless, your hips pushing back against him quickly, “That’s right, get that cock wet with my pussy.” 

You were never dull during sex, but Spencer was not expecting something so vulgar to fall from your lips. His hips stutter against yours before he finds himself incredibly turned on by the sudden confidence and vulgarity in your words. His hands yank your hips back roughly, lining himself up to inch himself inside of you slowly. 

About halfway inside you, he pulls out till it is just the tip and then repeats the motion— it’s infuriatingly hot. You let out a soft whine at his toying with you and start to move your hips back against him, but that is met with a surprising spank to your ass. 

A sharp gasp leaves your lips at the feelings before you blink, lifting your head to peer at him over your shoulder and whisper a little, “Harder,” 

Seeing your half-lidded eyes looking over at him, your soft lips begging him to spank you harder, Spencer feels a shiver shoot down his spine. He’s sure he can feel himself grow harder as he pushes deeper into your pussy and delivers a solid smack to your ass with the flat of his palm. 

He then follows the motion with a comforting rub of his hand against the swell of your ass. For a second, he’s worried about hurting you or making you uncomfortable–  unexplored territory. The feeling of your walls tightening around him for a second, fluttering in a way that has him bottoming out inside you without hesitation, reassures him. 

“God,” He huffs as he sets a pace, his hand occasionally delivering a hard spank to your ass whenever he feels your hips moving with his. You feel terrific; the feel of your reddening ass under his hand, the soft skin of your hip in his other, he’s surprised that he isn’t drooling. 

You, however, are starting to feel yourself beginning to drool. Moans and groans coming from the two of you has your head spinning, the rough feeling of Spencer’s hips against yours making your legs feel weak. 

Spencer pulls all the way out as he feels himself getting close, his soaked cock resting against your ass– the sight is something has him letting out a shaky sigh. He doesn’t need to say anything before you’re flipping over on your back again, legs spread and lips wet as you mutter a needy sounding, “More.” 

Spencer can’t find it in himself to deny you or himself, moving closer to you and lining himself up with your entrance again. As he sinks into you, you move your legs up, your hands holding the back of your knee. The new position lets him sink in deeper, and Spencer’s sure you’re an angel. 

You’re practically sucking him in, his breathing getting heavier as he moves against you, His eyes dipping between your face and between your legs– intelligent eyes watching the way his cock disappears deep inside of you. “You take it so well.” 

His hands reach up slowly, tracing the back of your thighs before replacing your hands at the back of your knee, bending your legs back further. He places a chaste kiss on your forehead, the gentle gesture leaving your head reeling when accompanied by this immense pleasure. 

You gasp out at the slight burn of your thighs, toes curling slightly, when Spencer starts to roll his hips in fast, tight circles. The roll of his hips makes his cock hit your G-spot, your eyes rolling back at the feeling as a guttural-sounding groan joins the lewd sounds leaving your lips. 

Spencer takes that as his sign to snap his hips into yours, his forehead pressing against yours as he moans and whines. “You feel so fucking good. I’ll never leave again.” 

You can feel your lower abdomen tighten quickly at the rough movements. A shaky laugh leaves you at his mention of never leaving, but words fail you as you cry out. The past few times the two of you have had sex, he was never this rough. You aren’t complaining, but his frantic, rapid thrusts are leaving you with the feeling that you’ll beg for a repeat sometime in the future. 

A long whine leaves you as you feel yourself getting closer, your hands holding tight on Spencer’s shoulders, your body jolting slightly with his rough thrusts. “So good! You’re fucking me so good. Please, don’t stop.” You beg without shame, “Need to cum, make me cum again.” You beg through moans. 

Spencer almost cums inside you upon hearing your begging, but he holds off— a new mission in focus. He slows for a second, moving one of your hands off his shoulder and under your knee before he slides his hand down to your aching clit. His thumb makes quick, tight, hard circles without warning— the scream that leaves your chest has him worried for your neighbors. 

“That’s it, tighten around me like that.” He pants out from above you, his eyes locking onto yours as he speaks. He watches the way your eyebrows raise in pleasure, and your mouth starts to let out a mix of silent screams and loud groans. “You look pretty when you cum around my cock, my pretty girl.” 

Your legs are shaking with that, the coil in your abdomen snapping with force as you bite your bottom lip to try and silence the sound of your orgasm– a groan that almost sounds inhuman. Spencer’s quick to follow, his hips roughly snapping into yours with his thumb continuing its torment on your sensitive clit. 

The feeling of overstimulation has you letting out a weak-sounding whine, almost a sob. You’re gasping hard as he keeps going, frenzied thrusts that have your free hand gripping the sheet tight until he bottoms out in you with a shaking groan. His hips thrust into you a few more times as he empties himself into you, shaking hard. 

A moment passes with neither of you moving, your legs moving down to the bed, and the realization sets in. Spencer looks at you with wild eyes, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking–” 

You laughed weakly and held up a hand, “Spencer, it’s okay.” Your voice sounds a little raw as you relax into your bed slightly, with him still hovering over you. “I’m on the pill, remember?” 

“Well, when taken correctly, it’s 99% effective, but if you’ve forgotten a day lately, it’s only 93%.” He pouts lightly when a giggle leaves your lips, but he smiles against his better judgment. “I’m serious, what if…” 

“I doubt it will, but if it does come to that, we’ll deal with it.” You mutter, slowly reaching a hand up to rake your fingers through his messy brown hair. “Clean me up?” 

Spencer notes how your voice sounds: shy and a little desperate. He tilts his head, a playful smile on his face as his eyes trail down to your parted thighs, “Insatiable this evening, I see,” He jokes as he begins to lower himself, soft fingers rubbing against your inner thighs.  

You groan in faux annoyance before you feel his breath fanning against your inner thighs, “Merry Christmas,” You tease softly.

[hopelesslydevoted2paige]

010. bet u wanna

pairings: paige bueckers x fem singer!reader

word count: 434

warnings: loving another while in a relationship

su's notes: happy holidays!! guess whos back... im so sorry for not updating at all ive been losing motivation but the fact that people still read this and want more pushes me to write 🥹 thank u guys for the support even if i havent been updating..

series masterlist

i bet you miss me, i bet you're reminiscing

a week later

Paige groaned, rolling around the bed with her hands on her head, pounding from another hangover.

She turned towards the open door, facing her girlfriend who had knocked twice.

"Hey, you okay?"

The blonde sniffled. "Yeah."

Amaia nodded. "Okay. I'll be outside if you need me."

"Okay, thanks."

'She would've stayed with me.' Paige thought about you for the millionth time this week.

She remembered everything that happened that night. All she could think about were the possibilities, would you have gotten back with her if she wasn't drunk? If you guys were in a better setting?

She ran her hand through her long hair, missing the feeling of your touch as she opened her TV.

The moment she opened YouTube, she immediately recognized your face from one of the recent interviews you did for your new album.

She heard your voice introducing yourself, not even realizing she had clicked on the video and placed the remote down.

"-And i'm here to do the Wired autocomplete interview!" You grinned, making Paige's face warm up.

"When does the new album come out." You said outloud as you peeled the paper off. "It's already out! Go check it out on Spotify, Apple Music or any listening platform!"

"Does-" You read your name outloud as you peeled another strip paper off. "-watch basketball? Yes! I love supporting my friend, Azzi Fudd who is on the UCONN women's basketball team and-" You stopped yourself. "And yeah!"

The blonde girl frowned, feeling the jealousy pit at the bottom of her stomach.

"Who is the song 'nonsense' about?" You chuckled, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears. "That's for me to know, and for you guys to find out." You winked and grabbed another board of questions.

Paige paused the video, rushing to type the song on the search bar and clicking the first result that popped up.

Millions of thoughts raced through her head as she listened to the lyrics. Were you seeing someone else?

She grabbed her phone from her side table and pulled up her messages with Azzi.

paige: azzi

azzi: what

paige: does she still live with you?

azzi: no hi, no how are you doing?

azzi: yes she does

paige: is she seeing someone?

azzi: not that i know of.

azzi: not that i would tell you

paige: i know i messed up, okay?

paige: i still love her.

azzi: then prove it

paige: how?

paige: she won't listen to me

azzi: cause you were drunk

azzi: obviously she wouldve thought you didnt mean it

azzi: make it up to her before its too late.

i bet you hate the way that you said goodbye and you still can't even tell me why

[sleepyparalysisdmon]

SVT with a partner that struggles with an ED

Requested? Yes!

Request: ‘hi, if you're comfortable, could you write svt with a partner who has eating disorders? im so sorry if you're not comfortable with that, i did read your guidelines post but maybe I've missed it! have a lovely day :) 💜’

TW/CW: This will discuss a sensitive topic. It is meant to be comforting and relatable, but if you’re not in a headspace for it right now, I recommend not reading. 

A/N: I recognize that idols often have issues like this of their own, but for the sake of this post, I won’t be addressing it in this reaction. The pressure to look a certain way is one of the many things I fundamentally disagree with about the idol industry. I’d really rather them carry a little more weight and be happier and healthier. I think most of us would. 

Focuses on the physical recovery - Seungcheol, Hoshi, Mingyu, Chan

The physical impact of the disorder is what makes him put his foot down about it. If you like to maintain a certain body type, he can’t say too much about it and really does want you to be happy with your body. But he can say plenty about the anemia, the low blood pressure, the GI issues, the hormonal issues, the dental problems, etc. You never feel good, and he’s tired of it. He won’t be mean, but he’ll be stubborn and insistent that you seek treatment of some sort, with the first goal to just start feeling better physically. 

Focuses on the behavioral recovery - Joshua, Wonwoo, DK, Seungkwan, Vernon

Encourages you to eat and also encourages you to keep said food down. Those are non-negotiables to him. But he also encourages you not to overdo it on the food and to pace yourself when it comes to exercising. He stresses moderation for those last two things. He’ll figure out what you feel comfortable eating until you’re ready to try a normal diet because a little food is better than nothing. And he’s so calm when that doesn’t go well sometimes, reminding you that it will be okay, but he wants you to be just as brave about it as he is patient. But if it does go well, he’ll give you endless amounts of praise for facing the issue head-on. 

Focuses on the psychological recovery - Jeonghan, Jun, Woozi, Minghao

Feels that it’s best to tackle this sort of thing at the root of the issue. He wants to know when this habit started and why you feel compelled to keep doing it. If it’s poor body image, he’ll listen patiently, but you have to listen to him explain how he sees you, which may be hard to do because his take is so different. If it has something to do with how you were raised regarding food, he’s dissecting that with you, so maybe one day it will click that it’s not the way to live life now. And if it’s about control or perfectionism, he’s encouraging you to start letting go of some of it and trust that it will be okay if you change your behavior or your weight. Exceedingly patient about it without ever making you feel that you’re being irrational when you struggle with this. 

[hsnlv]

promised & found | s.jy

req!: also if you're taking requests...idk i've been thinking abt idol jake and famous reader (modeling or singing or whatever?) and they're like...childhood besties, lost contact, but then they meet again after becoming famous 😗😗😗😗

pairing: idol!jake x idol!reader

synopsis: years after losing touch with her childhood best friend, now fellow idol sim jake, a chance backstage encounter brings buried memories and unspoken feelings rushing back.

others: use of pet name (muffin). and honestly, it is supposed to be platonic (i think) but i cant help it, im a hopeless romantic :(

wc: 1.2k

a/n: a little side note, i cant vividly imagine what you guys might have in mind everytime you request something (im sorry </3) but i will my best to deliver it as smoothly and as ‘make sense’ (?) as possible! i dont know if this requires fluff, angst, suggestive (which i dont really like to write), but yet again, i’ll try to deliver every request as smoothly and as ‘make sense’ as possible! any feedback is highly appreciated too! happy reading💗 here’s my masterlist!

you’re stunned, absolutely frozen. every word that could describe your current state—speechless, shocked, dazed—falls short.

you had heard about the newly debuted boy group, the one everyone was buzzing about. but with your packed schedule, endless practices, and back-to-back performances, you barely had time to breathe, let alone catch up on industry gossip.

but now, standing just a few feet away from you, was someone who looked like a memory brought to life.

the soft, slightly whiny voice. the chestnut-brown hair that curled slightly at the ends. the gaze—sharp yet gentle, just as you remembered. it had to be him.

and before you could stop yourself, his name slipped from your lips like it was second nature.

“sim jaeyun.”

he turned, his eyes landing on you, widening in recognition. and then, as if time hadn’t passed at all, his face broke into a grin.

“muffin?”

hearing that nickname again was like reopening an old wound. years of carefully buried emotions began to resurface, sharp and bittersweet.

“yun?” you managed, your voice wavering as your heart threatened to beat out of your chest.

he looked at you like you were something out of a dream, his eyes scanning your face as if committing every detail to memory. “it’s really you,” he said softly, his voice laced with wonder.

you smiled, the corners of your lips trembling. “it’s really me.”

“what are you doing here? don’t tell me you’re one of the performers.”

you nodded, suddenly shy under his gaze. “didn’t know you actually went through with becoming famous,” you said, trying to keep your tone light even as your emotions threatened to overwhelm you.

he chuckled, the sound so familiar it made your chest ache. “didn’t know you did, either. weren’t you the kid who once froze during the school talent show because you forgot the words to your own song?”

you rolled your eyes, the teasing instantly easing some of the tension. “yeah, well, people change.”

“you can say that again,” he murmured, his eyes softening as they lingered on you.

years ago

“yun, is it final? you’re really moving?”

your voice was quiet, shaky—almost pleading. you didn’t want to believe it. couldn’t.

he sighed, his shoulders slumping as he looked anywhere but at you. “as much as i hate it…”

you waited, holding your breath, even though you already knew the answer.

“yeah. it’s final.”

“but, yun…”

“muffin,” he said softly, using that nickname that once made you smile but now only made your chest tighten.

you hated it at that moment. it was too light, too playful, too much him.

“can’t you just… stay? with me?” your voice cracked, and you bit the inside of your cheek, determined not to cry. “i don’t have anyone else but you.”

he finally looked at you then, his expression torn, his eyes shining with something that looked too much like guilt. “you think this is easy for me? you’re my best friend. leaving you is the last thing i want to do. but i don’t have a choice. my family needs this.”

you wanted to scream, to tell him that you needed him too. but deep down, you knew he was right. and that didn’t make it hurt any less.

“promise me,” you said after a long pause, your voice barely above a whisper. “promise me we won’t lose touch.”

his hand found your shoulder, warm and grounding. “i promise. calls, texts, video chats—you name it. you’re stuck with me, muffin.”

you swallowed the lump in your throat, nodding. “you better mean it. because if you forget about me, i’ll—”

“you’ll what?” he teased, the corners of his lips twitching into a small smile.

“i’ll fly to australia and make you regret it,” you shot back, trying to match his playful tone.

he laughed, the sound a little shaky. “deal. but that won’t happen, okay? i couldn’t forget you if i tried.”

but promises, no matter how heartfelt, are fragile things. the calls became less frequent. the texts dwindled. until, eventually, there was nothing. and all you had left of him was the memory of his laugh and the nickname you couldn’t bear to hear again.

back to the present

“you’re really here,” he said, breaking the silence. “famous idol and all. i should’ve known you’d make it big.”

“funny,” you said, raising an eyebrow. “i could say the same about you. i didn’t even know you wanted this.”

he shrugged, a sheepish grin tugging at his lips. “i didn’t, at first. but one day, i was watching kpop idols performing, and suddenly i thought, hey, maybe i could do that.”

“and here i thought you were going to take over the family business,” you teased, crossing your arms.

“well, surprise.” he gestured at himself dramatically. “instead of suits and ties, you get… this.”

you laughed, the sound easing the knot in your chest. “you make it sound so easy. meanwhile, i nearly quit a hundred times.”

“you?” he asked, his eyebrows shooting up. “the same girl who made me sing ‘do you wanna build a snowman’ at your birthday party? that girl almost quit?”

“okay, but that was different,” you argued, your cheeks flushing at the memory. “i had you to blame if it went horribly.”

“and yet, look at you now,” he said, his voice softening as his gaze settled on you. “center stage. killing it.”

“you’re not so bad yourself, yun,” you said quietly. “i’m proud of you.”

his expression shifted, something unspoken passing between you. “i missed you,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

your chest tightened. “me too.”

“i tried to find you,” he said, his tone a mix of frustration and regret. “but you don’t use social media, and… i don’t know. i thought maybe you didn’t want to be found.”

“it wasn’t that,” you said quickly. “life just… got in the way. and i didn’t think you’d still—”

“still what?”

“still care,” you finished softly, looking down.

he reached out, his fingers brushing against yours. “are you kidding? muffin, i never stopped caring. not for a second.”

his words hit you like a wave, and you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes.

“i regret it,” you whispered. “losing touch with you. i should’ve tried harder.”

“hey,” he said gently, his thumb lightly brushing the back of your hand. “we both could’ve tried harder. but we’re here now, right?”

you nodded, your lips curling into a small, hesitant smile. “yeah. we are.”

“so, how about a fresh start?” he asked, his grin returning. “friends again? or do i need to buy your forgiveness first?”

“a fresh start, huh?” you said, pretending to think. “well, if we’re doing that, you at least owe me coffee for all the years you were MIA.”

he laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “coffee? muffin, i’ll buy you coffee every day if it means i get to make it up to you.”

“bold words, sim jaeyun.”

“what can i say?” he said, smirking. “i’m committed to the cause.”

“we’ll see about that,” you teased, but your voice softened as you added, “just don’t disappear again, okay? i don’t think i can handle losing you twice.”

he laced his fingers with yours, his grip warm and steady. “never again,” he promised.

and this time, you believed him.

[dearpyramus]

Hey you 🤗

I love love love your Dad!Carmen Masterlist! Read all of your Blurbs and Oneshots 😚👌🏻

Can i put in a request for Dad!Carmen?

I myself am 15 weeks pregnant, coming out of the nausea and vomiting phase but it hits back sometimes... This week i found back to enjoy cooking again but last night i cooked this amazing meal for my family only to feel nausea while serving the food and not able to eat and enjoy it with my family...

Would write something similar with Dad!Carmen?

If you're not up for it, i understand!

Hug n kiss 🧡

hiiii. first off im so so sorry this took so long answer!! ive been so busy and wanted to do this right!! also congratulations and i hope ur feeling well 🫶 and it means a lot ur enjoy dad!carmen. im always happy to provide. also i know next to nothing about cooking i just picked a random dish lmao

tw: nausea (nothing graphic)

it was an exciting day for your husband. you had officially gotten out of the nausea period of your pregnancy and you were celebrating with some homemade lasagna. it was always a favorite of yours and you missed it dearly when you could barely smell it without heaving.

at least, you thought the nausea period was over. you prayed that it was over.

As of late, it wasn’t uncommon for you to awake to carmen murmuring softly to your bump.

Soft curls caressed your belly as your bleary eyes prepared for the morning. Gentle hums and soothing rubs pressed on your abdomen as you awoken for the day.

Carmy had been obsessed with your unborn baby since the day you told him you were expecting. It was a constant for him to be talking to your bump and to look out for you and make sure you weren’t over exerting yourself. He held your hair back as you emptied the contents of your stomach due to morning sickness, whispering reassurances and rubbing circles into your back. He made sprite and was patient when you could barely do anything due to nausea.

“Good morning baby. How are’y today?” he murmured into your protruding stomach. You couldn’t help yourself from stroking his hair as he talked to your baby, something you always did.

Suddenly you felt him pressing more into your bump, as if he was trying to hear something.

“Hey, I think I felt little one kicking!”

He said eagerly, causing you to laugh. You felt bad as you realized the reality of the situation.

“It’s too early still to feel their kicks. It’s probably my stomach. Me and little one are hungry,” you chucked.

Carmy knew you were right but still wanted to entertain the fantasy of feeling his baby’s kicks for the first time. He really was eager.

He presses tender kisses on your tummy at your words and giggles. You’ve been hearing a lot of those lately. He constantly wanted to be in tune to what you craved and didn’t. While the morning sickness was waning, he still wanted to be careful. He always was trying his best to be careful for you and the baby.

He murmured something about having a nice recipe that you and the baby would enjoy. He rubbed your belly and gave it another peck before departing to the kitchen, instructing you to stay put. He would rather die than to see your exerting yourself, even if you weren’t that pregnant yet.

You waited patiently as he prepared a dish for you. Chicken fettuccine alfredo. It was always your favorite when you and him ate together. Nowadays, you prayed you were able to keep it down. The morning sickness had subsided, it seemed, so surely that would be the case.

It wasn’t until he presented the dish and you were slammed with a waved a nausea that you knew it was different. You mentally wished to kick yourself: you thought things were different. You were under the impression the morning sickness was through. You so badly wanted to enjoy your husband’s cooking. After all, he never failed to put his heart and soul into his every dish.

You attempted to try a taste. Shortly after, you had to excuse yourself to heave the small bite into the toilet. You mentally cursed yourself. You felt so useless. You couldn’t even enjoy the home cooked meal Carmen made with love for you.

In a gist he was by your side, stroking your back and holding back your locks as you heaved into the toilet. He put all this love and care into the meal only for you to puke it up shortly after. You mentally cursed yourself as you thought your morning sickness had subsided.

You were to frantically apologize, much to Carmy’s concern. He was quick to shush you and stroke your hair.

“Hey baby, it’s okay. I know you’re still feeling bad. It’s okay,” he cooed.

You were always so grateful for him, especially now b

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Shall I Count the Ways: L (FINAL)

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Spencer Reid x F!Reader

Summary: You and Spencer are best friends. You’re in love with him and he’s in love with you, but neither of you know it nor decide to tell the other about their feelings. All the love is there, just hidden in the things you say and the things you do with one another.

A/N: IT'S OFFICIALLY OVER. THANK YOU TO ALL WHO CONTINUED TO READ THIS SERIES AND IM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO ACTUALLY FINISH IT!

Series Masterlist

50. "I love you."

You practically lived at Spencer's apartment. You spent so much of your time at his place than yours. He emptied out part of his dresser and a portion of his closet to make room for some of your things. He encouraged you to bring more of your belongings, but you declined. You didn't want to take up more of his space than you already had.

"But I like you taking up space," he had said softly, with that soft smile of his.

You wanted to confess your love to him right then and there.

You technically have already, through your words and actions, but you never actually said those three words yet. You and Spencer have officially been together for six months and haven't said "I love you" to each other yet.

You feel as though because of Spencer's own insecurities and anxieties, he held back saying them. For you, you just didn't want to put any pressure on Spencer to say it back. But you love him, there is no doubt about that. You know in your heart, your mind, hell, your entire being that you absolutely love this man. You have for so long and you can't imagine not loving him.

You know he loves you too. You know by how he holds you, how he looks at you, how he talks to you. He doesn't say it outright, but you know he does.

Still. Hearing him say it would be nice. But there's that underlying fear, on both sides.

So now, six months into being with Spencer, you've come to accept that it may be a while until you hear him say those words.

Until he does on one random Tuesday evening.

_________________

Spencer was away on a case. He was called by Emily as soon as his last class of the day ended. They needed all hands on deck. He gave you a quick call on his way to his office, to let you know what was going on. He grabbed his go-bag that he always keeps at the school and proceeded to head to Quantico.

He'd been gone for four days. Every night before going to sleep, he'd call you and listen to you relay your day to him. You'd keep talking until either of you fell asleep. The last thing either of you heard were each other's voices.

The last day, Spencer texted you that he'd be coming home late and that you shouldn't wait up for him.

Well, you're stubborn, you so made sure to drink some coffee while you waited for Spencer to arrive back.

You were sitting in Spencer's living room, posting some of the new antiques you received onto your website when you heard a familiar jingle of keys. You set your laptop aside and stood up right as the door swung open.

Spencer's tired eyes brightened in surprise, "I told you not to stay up."

"It's fine. I drank some coffee so I can be awake to greet you," you peck his lips and take his bag from him. You go to bring it to his room, but he catches your wrist.

"Hold on. C'mere," he pulls you to him, causing you to drop his bag at your feet.

You giggle, wrapping your arms around him, "What is it, Spencer?"

His eyes roam your face, taking in every detail before landing on your eyes, "I love you."

It was now your turn to look surprised, "Spencer-"

"I'm sorry it took me so long to say it. First I take forever to confess my feelings for you and now to confess my love. I'm sorry you've had to wait so long for me, but know that I've always loved you and will continue to love you."

You can't help but chuckle in disbelief, "Where is this grand confession coming from, hm? Did something happen? Did someone say something?"

Spencer looks shyly at you, "No. Nothing like that. It's-It's just I was thinking about how excited I was to come back here and to find you here. I felt so much love for you just thinking about seeing you again after these past few days. Then I realized I never even said 'I love you' yet. We've been together for six months, three days, and," he pauses to look at his watch, then finishes, "-twenty-one minutes."

"I love you too, Spencer. I wanted to tell you much sooner, but I didn't want to pressure you in saying it back. You've been going through so much, I didn't want to add any more stress-"

Spencer shakes his head, "No, you could never add any stress to my life. You take it all away just by being here."

You smile brightly at him, "I love you so much, Spencer," you whisper.

"I love you too," he murmurs before closing in the distance and pressing his lips to yours.

You and Spencer have gone through hell and back, but you two have always loved each other. You've said and shown it in various ways and you know that there is absolutely nothing the world can throw at you that will break you two apart.

[hxlxnaaa]

𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬

★ synopsis: you're not just friends, but you're not more than that either. he's the epitome of unreadable and unavailable, leaving you confused, hurt, and lost.

★ character: xavier

★ cw: first person pov, really angsty, like REALLY angsty (i chose violence my bad), college au, situationship plot

★ word count: 4.3k

★ a/n: before i say anything im so sorry. like i was not expecting it to be this angsty but then it was and...well i couldn't stop it. i will for sure write a happy ending for this if someone would like that!! i think xavier would be a situationship final boss cause bro cannot manage his feelings. also can you tell i really like college au's... anyways, enjoy!!

His hands rest on the curve of my waist, firm and possessive, as if his fingers might weave through my ribs and anchor themselves there. His touch lingers with a quiet desperation, a reminder of everything we’ve shared. Once you’ve seen so much of someone, their fears, their desires, the way their eyes light up in the smallest moments—walking away feels like tearing apart something sacred, like committing a sin against the universe itself.

I stare at his sleeping face. I could protect him, my heart a sanctuary warm enough for him to find peace. He’d never have to wander again, never ever need to leave. The softness of his skin could soothe the ache buried deep within me, erasing the sickness with a quiet, tender touch.

He has my heart trapped like a bird.

Part of me wonders if he knows how he’s holding me, if he finds comfort within his slumber and dreams with my body pressed against his. Or if he’ll stir and realize, turning away and leaving me to stare at the muscles in his back that flex as he sleeps.

I trace circles onto his bicep, like the circles he runs around us.

I had met Xavier a little over a year ago, he was a friend of a friend, and we met at a small house party that a few mutuals of ours had thrown. He was like a star, shining so brightly in the room it drowned out everyone else. He was standing in a corner talking to Jeremiah, a good friend of mine that I shared some classes with. The way Xavier shyly smiled at me when Jeremiah introduced us made my heart feel like King Arthur’s sword, and someone had finally managed to capture it.

We talked the rest of the night, never leaving that spot in the corner. I paid no mind to anyone else I knew in that house, all that mattered was the beautiful cosmic boy I was encountering.

He found me again in the library a few weeks later, lightly tapping my shoulder and asking if he could study with me. Xavier was an astronomy major, ever so fitting for the star-boy who sparkled like constellations no matter where he went. The way his face lit up when asked about space was a vision I wanted to replay behind my eyelids every time I slept.

Xavier quickly became one of my best friends, and every second I spent with him was a second closer to my demise.

With him, I had tunnel vision. It didn’t matter how many guys my friends tried to set me up with, none of them were Xavier.

He was all I ever wanted.

I had never wanted anything as bad as I wanted Xavier. In my eyes he hung the moon and the stars. My love for him was an insatiable hunger that only he could cure; if he was Hades I would’ve taken that pomegranate from his tree, sacrificing my life to spend the rest of my time in hell just so I could spend eternity with him. I’d put myself on display for him so he can play God on judgement day, I’d let him carve his name into me so I’d remember what to say, I’d do anything he asked.

He’s the serpent and I’m Eve.

Xavier was hard to read, it was like trying to understand the plot of a book in pig latin. One moment he’s sitting so close to me I can smell his shampoo, looking me in my eyes and smiling so widely I thought his cheeks would hurt, as he twirls a strand of my hair around his finger. He’ll cut me off mid sentence and tell me I look beautiful, and watch me as if I’m a movie he’s been waiting years to see.

The next moment? I don’t see him for days; I don’t get texts, no photos and complaints about his astronomy homework, no little alien gifs, no hellos or goodbyes. He disappears without a trace, and the only proof I have that he ever existed is the ache in my heart when I realize he’s pulling away again.

I’ve never gotten anything I’ve ever wanted, but once, I got close. Xavier had showed up at my dorm on a storming Saturday night at 1 AM like a sopping wet dog in the hallway, his first appearance in a week. Slurring his speech, blubbering about how Jeremiah and their friends dragged him out to the bars.

“M’sorry I just showed up, I wanted to see you…Just see you…”

Drunk off his ass, the pity for him overcame my anger. I gave him a change of his own clothes, hoodies and sweatpants I had borrowed and never gave back, the only pieces I had of him when he would turn into a ghost again.

Xavier watched me as I maneuvered around the room, grabbing him a glass of water, his eyes bleary and lips mumbling breathless words I couldn’t catch.

“Hey.”

I turned to look at him, his cheeks and ears red from the alcohol. He was sprawled out on my bed shirtless after refusing the hoodie, declaring the room was too hot. Xavier gestured for me to come closer, and as I approached the bed, he yanked my wrist down causing me to collapse onto his bare chest. His half-lidded eyes scanned my face, hand snaking up my waist.

“Is this okay?” He said through breathless kisses on my shoulder. Holding my body very still, I thought if I moved I may wake up.

“Xavier, you’re drunk.” I whispered, my words betraying my thoughts. He stilled, and I internally punched myself. Pulling back far enough I could see his eyes again, he smiled and placed a kiss on my palm. I couldn’t help but smile back, as my heart lurched out of my chest and into his hands for good. Xavier slowly and awkwardly flipped me onto my back, stumbling a bit through his inebriation. He mumbled words of adoration, planting kisses that burned like the fire of a star all over my face and skin.

“Perfect… So perfect… You’re like Venus, so full of love… Beautiful girl…”

Xavier kissed me like I was broken and he was thread, trying to sew me back together. The moment was holy, his heart singing to mine like a psalm. I memorized the movement of his lips against mine, cherishing the taste of cheap beer on his tongue.

“I love you.”

He fell asleep next to me, as I stayed awake staring at the ceiling, wondering what this meant for us.

Nothing, I suppose.

Xavier never mentioned it, and I never felt the courage to bring it up. It was only a fleeting moment, but it stuck with me like a plague, hanging over my head. It left the soft moments with him more confusing, the compliments more intimate, the feelings more frustrating.

I stare at him asleep holding me, face gentle through dreams, and I want to cry. Falling asleep next to me was nothing new, crashing in my dorm after movie nights or study dates. ‘No it’s okay, don’t sleep on the floor. We can just share the bed.’

I am a ticking time bomb, and I’m going to explode.

My heart is trapped like a bird.

-

“Honestly, I really think you should just confront him,” Tara flips through the pages of her textbook, “it’s not getting you anywhere not knowing what he thinks.”

I throw my face in my hands, letting out a groan and tangling my fingers in my hair, “It’s not that easy. What am I gonna say? ‘Hey, we kissed once so what are we?’ Do you know how crazy that sounds!”

“You forgot the part, ‘you also spend the night in my bed a lot’ or, ‘you told me you loved me’.”

“Friends do and say stuff like that all the time!” Shuddering at the thought of rejection, I hold up a finger to silence Tara, “Plus I’m not sure I even want to know. I think staying in the dark is better for everyone.”

She rolls her eyes, slamming the textbook closed, “Right. Okay, fine, that’s fine. Just quit complaining, I’m gonna tear my hair out.” Walking over, she places a kiss to the top of my head, “You know I love you, but I’m gonna kill both of you if I have to hear about it one more time.”

Tara leaves for class, and I’m left alone in the library with my thoughts and an exam to study for. I feel the pads of Xavier’s fingertips against my skin leftover from last night, and the feeling of emptiness when I woke up and he was gone. No text saying he had left for class, just radio silence and his body imprinted in my sheets. It’s moments like this, when I’m convinced I’ve got him right outside my grasp, he’d fall back out of reach.

I’m about to put on my headphones and tune the world out, when I hear a man's voice.

“Are you studying for the exam?”

I look up, and I see the boy who sits next to me in my stats class, Rafayel. His hair is a mess, and his black sweater has a few paint stains on them. I assume he’s just come from the studio, as his satchel is hanging loosely over his shoulder, his portfolio book sticking out. Rafayel’s an art major and never fails to complain the whole time about how the class is required for him, but he’s ‘never even gonna use this stuff’.

I huff, staring at my laptop screen, “Yeah, trying to at least.”

Rafayel slips into the seat Tara was just in, throwing his satchel on the floor beside him, “Oh good, you can help me then!”

I'm grateful for the distraction, as Rafayel is a sweet guy and a good break from the chronic thoughts of Xavier. His glances at me in class while I try to work on a concept with him don’t go unnoticed, or the way he doodles me on the corner of his paper, flashing me a grin when I point to the drawings. He would be so perfect, the artsy goof who showers me in attention, clingy, comedic and kind;

But he’s not Xavier.

“How am I supposed to help you with this if you’re busy drawing?” I tap his sketchbook with my pen. Rafayel looks up from his work with a frown, “I’m getting bored!”

He snatches my pen from my hand to stop my tapping, “Hey, why don’t we go to the cafe for a quick break? My brain could use it.”

“You’ve been studying for fifteen minutes.”

“So? You’re supposed to take breaks after twenty minutes, it’s been like, scientifically proven or whatever.”

He stares at me with a big smile, and I know I can’t say no to him. Literally, I wouldn’t be allowed.

When we got to the cafe, the place was packed and I internally groaned. Looking around the bustling coffee shop, it was uncomfortable just how busy it was. Waiting in line practically squished next to Rafayel, I rested my head on his shoulder as I had done many times in class before. He draped his arm around my shoulder, going on about how one of his professors gave him a bad grade on a painting because he used the wrong shade of blue. I thought about how nice it would be to stand like this with Xavier, but I never felt as if I could get close enough to try.

Trying to shake off the thoughts about him, I thought about Rafayel’s arm around me. The way his finger would poke my shoulder as he talked to put emphasis on his words, or the way his bicep flexed on the back of my neck as he moved. It was comforting in a way, secure. It was protective. Safe.

“Oh my God, I hate that dude.” Rafayel scoffs, looking at a table in the corner. Following his eyes, I caught a glimpse of tousled platinum hair. Meeting his blue eyes, my breath hitched in my chest, body freezing against Rafayel. I couldn’t read a single ounce of emotion on his face, just feeling his stare bore into me.

My first instinct wanted to rip away from Rafayel, let Xavier know I was still his. Yet-

I’m not. I’m not his, and he’s not mine.

I remember the feeling of defeat this morning when I woke up, body tired from staying up and watching the rise and fall of his chest, mind exhausted from the push and pull, chasing after him and never quite catching up.

Leaning farther into the boy beside me, I look away from Xavier and look up at Rafayel.

After all, the key to moving on is finding someone new.

“Which one?” I ask him, not sure if he’s referring to anyone else at that table. It was a group of Xaviers friends, people I had met briefly.

“The blonde one, he’s in one of my gen ed classes and he’s a total prick.” Rafayel stares back at Xavier, and I try to avoid his piercing eyes, focusing on picking at a piece of lint on Rafayels sweater.

“Oh, yeah. I know him.” I don’t want him to be introduced to that part of my world. Rafayel is pure, untainted by the chaos. I didn’t want to drag him into the hurricane.

-

After that, I didn’t hear from Xavier for a while. Though his silence wasn’t uncommon, I couldn’t help but think this time it may have been provoked by the moment in the cafe. I saw him around campus a few times, in his usual spots, but when he’d notice me he’d just look away.

Saying it hurt would be an understatement.

I started seeing Rafayel more to fill the void that Xavier was leaving behind. Every tear Xavier had ripped into my heart and soul, Rafayel was taking bandaids and patching them up. While it was nice, it wasn’t a permanent solution to the wounds.

I felt guilty, like I was using him, doing the same thing to Rafayel that Xavier was doing to me. Though, despite whatever was happening, Rafayel was content. I don’t think he minded the situation I had imposed. From little dates to holding hands, to kisses on my cheek when he’d drop me off at my dorm, I was getting the attention I craved and Rafayel had someone to keep him company. It’s like we had this silent, mutual agreement that whatever was happening was okay, and this is all it had to be.

Rafayel never knew about Xavier, and I would never tell him.

The incident at the cafe was the first, but not the only time Xavier saw us together. Whether it was the library studying, or the student union building, Xavier would see us and almost always stare. Rafayel always had comments to make about it too, muttering things under his breath about him being a creepy stalker.

I was sitting on the floor of my dorm with Rafayel, scrolling aimlessly on my phone as he sketched the fake plants I had sitting on my desk. My phone started to blow up with everyone texting in our group chat, something about a party happening this weekend.

Tara: Please tell me you guys are gonna be there!

Jeremiah: i have to go, one of my friends is in the frat and he’ll kill me if i don’t

Tara: Okay that's 2 of us! Who else???

“Who’s texting you so much?” Rafayel says, clearly annoyed by my phone's insistent text tone going off.

“This group chat I’m in with my friends,” I sit my phone down, “there's a party this weekend and they’re trying to get everyone to go.”

“Are you going to?”

“I dunno, are you?”

Rafayel laughs, “You know better than anyone I couldn’t be caught dead at one of those.” He puts his sketchbook aside, grabbing my hand, “You should go though, you don’t really do much besides go to class and see me, and as much as I'm happy with the attention, this is a really sad look for you.”

I pull my hand away, offended, “I am not sad!”

“Then prove it, go to the party.”

“I’m pretty sure this is peer pressure, hazing even.”

“That’s most definitely not hazing.” Rafayel picks his sketchbook back up, going back to his drawing with a smug look on his face.

I text back in the groupchat, upset that I agree with Rafayel. Ever since I started hanging out with him and Xavier started giving me the full blown silent treatment, I haven’t really gone out much. I see Tara here and there for lunch or a quick study session, but it’s been a while since I’ve taken the time to do something fun.

Me: yea i’ll be there, lmk what time

Tara: OMG YAY!!!! I’ll send you the details

Xavier: I’ll see U guys there

Seeing Xavier text that he was going to be in attendance sent a lightning bolt of anxiety through my chest.

This was the longest we had gone without talking. Usually, his moments of silence only lasted a few weeks at most. With due time he’d come back with a post he sent or ask me to hang out, announcing his presence and waltzing back into my life; and I'd let him in.

Every. Single. Time.

The distance he created between us this time around made me anxious to face him the upcoming weekend. Would he say hi? Ask how I was? Would he look right through me like so many times before?

After Rafayel left, I sat in bed cocooned in one of Xavier's hoodies he had left behind, watching the stars through my window. I thought maybe, if I stared hard enough, they could make a constellation of his face.

-

Friday rolled around faster than I had hoped. Per Tara’s request, we showed up fashionably late, so the old beat up house was packed by the time we arrived. It was the first time in months I had put myself together, doing my hair and makeup. Taking a couple shots of whatever Tara had given me, I was feeling mildly prepared for the night ahead.

Walking in, my hand gripped hers tightly as she maneuvered gracefully through the crowd. Grabbing a drink from the makeshift bar, I cracked open the can and started chugging. I was going to need as much alcohol as I could to get me through this night. We found a couple girls that we knew, chatting loudly over the music, as I pounded back a few more drinks.

Before I knew it, the man I was dreading seeing the most appeared beside Tara with Jeremiah.

“Ladies!” Jeremiah shouted, wrapping his arms around Tara and I. Xavier’s eyes could have burned a hole through my skull with the intensity that he stared at me. Internally I was at war with myself, half wanting to shrink away because of how small his look made me feel, but also feeling powerful thanks to the liquor coursing through my veins and the hot outfit I had on.

One voice on my shoulder screamed, “Get out of here! Go home! Never show your face again!” While the other danced around, “You’re such a sexy bitch, show him what he’s missing!”

I chugged another drink.

“Wait- Tara, I want you to meet one of my friends, come with me.” Jeremiah gestured for Tara to follow him, and I flashed her a panicked look. She shrugged, squeezing my hand before following behind Jeremiah.

I stood alone with Xavier, the rest of the group disbursing where it just left us.

“I’m gonna get a drink, come on.”

I looked at him, “What?”

“I’m gonna go get a drink? Let's go.” He raised an eyebrow at me, like I asked a stupid question.

“Okay, but why do I have to come with you?”

“Because I’m not leaving you all by yourself-” Xavier pressed two fingers to his temple, “nevermind it’s fine I don’t need another one.”

“I was just asking-”

“Where’s your boyfriend?” He cut me off, his question catching me off guard.

“I’m sorry?”

“Are you having trouble understanding tonight or something? How much have you had to drink?” His words were venom, and I was appalled. Not once had he ever spoken to me this way, not even in arguments.

“I just don’t know who you’re fucking talking about, my bad.” I spat back at him.

“The guy who’s always up your ass, where is he tonight?”

I laughed, shocked, “You mean Rafayel? He is not my boyfriend.” I wasn’t sure if it was the liquor or his jealousy, but his attitude was a loaded gun.

“Well I couldn’t tell, seeing as how you both practically eye fuck wherever you go.”

Stunned, my jaw dropped. His eyes softened, and I could tell he knew he hit a nerve. With the blaring music in my ears, and the alcohol coursing through my veins, I was suddenly convinced that if I didn’t get out of that house I was going to fall apart to pieces.

“I don’t have to take this.” I shoved past him, pushing my way through the crowd and out the front door, until the cold air hit my face.

Xavier called out my name from behind, but I continued walking down the sidewalk. I wanted to be so far from that party, from him, that I thought I may just walk back to my hometown and away from this stupid place; to somewhere he didn’t exist anymore.

Calling my name again, he caught up, grabbing me by my shoulder. His face was switching through emotions every second, and I was getting whiplash.

“What the hell is your problem!” I shouted at him, tears threatening to spill, welling up in the corner of my eyes.

“Hey, wait-” His hand that was on my shoulder went to my cheek, and I jerked away.

“No, you don’t get to do that anymore, we’re done playing that game. I give up!”

“What are you talking about?”

“You- This, us! You kiss me, you tell me I’m beautiful, you tell me you love me, you sleep in my bed and I’m in your arms, then you don’t text me for weeks! You don’t acknowledge anything you do, and I don’t know what any of it means,” I don’t realize I’m crying until I taste the salt in my mouth, “You’re so confusing and I don’t know what’s happening, and it hurts so fucking bad and you don’t even care.”

Xavier stands there dumbfounded, my vision blurry and spinning. I think I might throw up, and I’m not sure if it’s from the situation or the liquor.

“Then you have the audacity to be mean to me over some guy that I’m friends with,” I start to sob, my voice becoming weak and small, “you don’t get to do that, you have no right.”

He doesn’t move, and I stop talking. The only sound between us is my quiet crying and hiccups, mixed with the faint music from the party down the block. He says my name, and I barely hear it over the roar of my own ears.

“You’re my best friend…” He whispers.

The words cut through me like a knife, and I think if I look down I’ll see I’ve been gutted. If you could die from a broken heart, I’d already be six feet under. I swallow thickly, and nod. His words were enough, it told me everything I needed to know.

“Can I walk you home?” He asks.

I shake my head.

I started walking down the sidewalk.

He didn't follow.

When he was out of sight, I sat down on the curb and broke down again. Everything I had felt over the past year of knowing him came out at once, my body ejecting all of it. I cursed him, his name, his future wife and family. I prayed that he was destined to stay up at night, regretting that the woman asleep next to him isn’t me. Distraught, because I believe I myself am cursed to love him forever.

I called Rafayel, and asked him to pick me up. I threw up in someone's yard before he did, and when I finally got back home I closed my curtains and locked my window, hiding under my blankets; convinced the stars in the sky were out to get me. I never wanted to see them again, I’d avoid going outside at night for eternity if it meant I never had to face a reminder of him and his devastating beauty.

The next morning, I blocked him.

Well, I blocked him on all social media, even the ones we didn’t use; but I didn’t block his number. For emergency purposes, I thought.

Or I guess for the slim chance he came back; haunted by regret, choking on apologies, and falling to his knees to plead for forgiveness. I told my friends I was finished with him, swore it with conviction, but I’m starting to think those words were as empty as his own promises.

I won't text him first, I’ll just wait.

I’d wait until he misses my laugh, the sound of my voice, or the songs I’d sing to him as he fell asleep, my fingers through his hair.

I won’t text him, but I won’t shut him out entirely. I’ll close the door behind me, but I won’t lock it, not completely. I won’t hand him the key, but maybe I’ll leave behind a clue, something subtle, something only he’d recognize. Just in case he decides to come back, he’ll know where to start searching, know there’s still a way in, even if I pretend there isn’t.

I’d keep the house behind the door clean, buy a welcome mat, and even build a porch.

Just in case;

But he never called.

(divider by cafekitsune)

[suzukiblu]

I've lost a timberkon fic or drabble a friend sent to me and i dont know what site its on (probs ao3 or tumblr most likely) and I think you're the best person to ask

it was a fic with kon teaching bernard how to undoe tims suit without getting electrocuted?? it used TTK to hold tim down which i know you write about a lot so maybe you'd know which fic im talking bout??

I think I DID read a fic with at least a similar premise on AO3 at some point, but unfortunately I don't remember what it was called or who wrote it, sorry. Anybody seeing this have any idea?

[yunazxxx]

heyyyy im a silence reader (always voting for your posts tho !!) I love your wooork so much, you were the first writer I followed on here, thank you for your love for the katseye girlies !!

also idk if you're taking requests rn but can i suggest a marz one where one day Lara sees Manon and Sophie make out by accident, and it makes her see Manon in a different light so she starts avoiding her bc she's scared of what she's feeling and like a week later or something Manon is sick of Lara ignoring her so she enters the bathroom while lara is taking a shower and confronts her about it (since it's the only place Lara can't escape from), Lara clumsily puts her towel on and confess ashamed but like Manon reassures her and kisses her bc she also has feelings for her and like they fuck in the bathroom right after

ps: if you don't like the prompt it's fine I'm not good at it sorry 😭 but can we pls have another hot/smut marz one, we are in a drought :((

pairing ≫ lara rajagopalan x meret manon (ft. sophie)

content warnings ≫ cheating , bathroom sex , slight angst , lara's crushing , established relationship (situationship/fwb) , getting caught , cunnilingus , slight argument but also toxicity? ,, etc maybe?

word count ≫ over 2.7k

author talks ≫ firstly would like to say merry christmas/happy holidays to those who don’t celebrate! i hope you’re all safe and doing well — now with the fic i wanna say i did go a little off plot but its still with the plot for the most part. — btw you did fine don’t worry i rlly enjoyed writing this!!

—

it was a dark snowy night in their city, tempatures dropping to about -1 degrees celcius, so much snow on the floor that even the roofs were covered on every inch, the build up of sniow was honestly surprising.

the girls of katseye gathered in their living room, it was christmas eve and although they all come from different parts of the worls and celebrate different holidays and celebrate christams differently, they managed a way to celebrate it all the same.

sophie and lara were missing, once again inside of the kitchen, making dinner for the girls. lara would peak out sometimes, looking at the brunette girl who she had been crushing on for the last seven months easy, or that's when lara really realized she liked her.

lara also knew of manon's "friend", sophie. lara never had a problem with the woman, why would she?

oh, because she's fucking manon.

lara always kept the fact it bothered her to herself, but while they were cooking and something was almost burning under lara's care, sophia had to ask her after she fixed the situation. "daniela?" sophia called out and daniela left from where she was, coming over to the pair.

"mhm?" she answered, "could you watch this stuff please? we need to talk" sophia said, pointing between her and lara, and daniela nodded. sophia grabbed lara's hand and they ran off to another room, not wanting to have that converation in front of the others.

"what's been going on? you've been so discombobulated" sophia said, her facial expressions following as she spoke, "it's just.." lara said, trailing off trying not to say what the actual problem was but sophia could easily read that girl like a book.

"its sophie" sophia said, her voice flat, but not like emotionless, lara looked at the black haired woman, "what..? no?" lara tried lying but sophia just looked at her until she admitted, "okay, yeah, sophie" lara said, she took a deep breath after saying this.

"but, why?" sophia wasn't all too confused, her and lara talked often, but this was something she never really got information on. "why are you like this over sophie? did she do something? do i need to kick her out?" sophia asked but lara shook her head "no no, its nothing. just, please?"

sophia nodded, "lets finish cooking then, i'm sure the girls are hungry" and lara smiled, "yeah" as the pair walked down the hallway, lara had to break off to grab something from her room, while she searched, she remembered that she gave it to daniela.

lara ran to the front asking daniela for it and she said it was in the room, lara wasn't paying much attention to anything around her, she just wanted to make sure she got what she needed. lara just casually opened the door like she would every other time.

but stopped dead in her tracks, she saw manon and sophie, kissing. manon's shirt was off, and sophie's pants were missing, sophie was on top of manon with her hands moving all over her body. lara quickly shut the door, her heart both racing but it also dropped.

she went to her room, holding back her tears while "looking" for something, but she really wasn't, she wanted to distract herself because megan was in the room now, "woah woah" megan said when she saw lara, "what happened?"

megan looked so worried and it made lara feel bad, "i just, got something in my eye" lara said, smiling while a tear trinkled down her cheek, "l-let me see, do you need eye drops?" megan asked, her voice starting to panick a bit.

"no no no no, i'm good megan, thank you" lara said, holding her hand to prevent the ginger girl from running away, "are you sure? it's no issue really" megan said but lara stayed content wit her answer and megan let it go.

lara and megan walked from their bedroom, to the places in the house they just were. sophia succefully distracted lara while they cooked, they were playing and laughing a lot, even making references to lara's old cooking/baking channel.

slowly the night began to turn into early morning, it was already 2am and yoonchae was dozing off, "yoonchae?" sophia said to her younger while the brown haired girl's head was resting on her lap, "mm?" she could only reply, too tired to form words.

"megan?" lara tapped her roommate, "hm?" megan looked up from the puzzle she was doing, "could you take yoonchae upstairs?" and the ginger woman nodded, taking yoonchae and guiding the young girl upstairs.

manon and sophie had been downstairs for a while now, lara rolling her eyes each time she looked over at the couple, it wasn't like she hated them but the having to act nonchalant was her only other way to cope with this.

it was almost three when sophie announced she'd be leaving, all the girl's gave sophie a hug while lara left to the kitchen, before sophie left she came up to lara, "g'night" sophie said and hugged her and lara could feel herself physically cringe at this.

"yea, goodnight" lara said, hugging sophie back, happy once she finally broke off of her. manon walked sophie to her car and they stayed out there for a bit, lara catching them sharing another kiss before sophie drove off.

something about that sight made lara feel sick to her stomach, and right when lara was about to sleep, she saw a message in the groupchat with their staff, saying they have a video to record for youtube for their fans to see.

lara shut off her phone, sighing because she couldn't stand being around manon right now but it's for the cameras.

the nex morning came, sophia calling for a house meeting to make sure everyone knows about the scheduele. normally when house meetin were called, the girls would gatherup, megan and daniela sittting together, yonchae and sophia and of course lara and manon, but lara stood beside the leader instead of sitting by manon.

this didn't really strike manon as weird behaviour, but still she took note of this, it wasn't until they were on set for the video when she saw how weird lara was acting towards her. lara was the last on set because she finished getting ready later than the rest of the girls.

lara would be so talkative with everyone but manon, she would be physical with everyone but manon when there were no cameras on them but right when she noticed that red light on the cameras she was all over manon like she would be normally.

this had been going on for so long, manon got tired of it, lara had avoided her off cameras for at least a month now but this was really fucking with her.

after they got home, lara rushed to the shower, wanting to rid herself after the hours of filimg, manon also following behind her. the brunette tip toed inside of lara's room, opening the bathroom before closing it behind her.

"megan?" lara said through the water running on her body, "could you grab my hair mask?" lara asked, and manon grabbed, but got undressed first, lara had her eyes closed while she ran water through her red hair.

manon handed the mask to her while sneaking inside, "lara.." manon said and it made the red haired woma freeze in her actions, looking at manon, "h-hey" manon stared at the redhead for a bit, "why have you been ignoring me?" manon asked but lara just sighed, "not here manon"

manon's eyebrows furrowed, "what do you mean not now?" and lara sighed again, "let me shower in peace" she answered, her voice emotionless. "manon clenched her jaw before swallowing, "fine" she got out of the shower, collecting her clothes and sitting on lara's bed until she was out.

megan was inside of the room when manon walked out, her hair was slightly wet, "hey? do you need the hair dryer, or a wtowel?" megan offered but manon shook her head, she lied down on lara's bed for a while, looking up at the cieiling before asking, "megan?"

"yeah?" the ginger aswered, "has lara been acting, strange, lately? like anything you've noticed?" and megan shook her head, "mno, not really. is she alright?" and manon nodded, "yeah, yeah she's fine, it's just been... odd?" and megan tilted her head, "what do you mean?"

"it's nothing megan, could you go for a bit? we need to talk" the redhead interrupted, and megan got up, walking out odf the room. lara was fresh out of the shower, her body still wrapped inside of the towel while her skin glistened, steam coming from her body like an arua.

manon looked at the woman, the anger but guilt was telling on her face. lara looked through her closet, fishing for clothes to put on while manon struggled to get her words together, "so, what? you can say it now." lara said while she was searching through the closet.

"why have you been avoiding me?" manon flat out said, making lara pause, "that's really a question?" lara said as she continue searching, "yes! you've been so weird to me lately, ever since that night sophie was here, you've been acting so different"

"you must assume every emotion i experience has something to do with you or that bitch" lara said camly which took manon by surprise, "what?" manon said, still trying to process the words that left the younger's mouth, "i mean, you're right. how would you feel if you walked in on your crush sleeping with someone"

lara said, shrugging her shoulders while she slipped on the clothes she found, manon closed her eyes and sighed, opening them to be met with lara's brown eyes, calmly rested while she waited for the brunettes response.

"why didn't you say something sooner?" manon asked, "do i have to say everything? spell it out for you? do you not feel the same?" lara asked, her voice raising towards the end, "of course you don't, you're with sophie" lara said, her voice as bitter as over brewed tea.

manon swallowed, "obviously, you have nothin to say" lara said and scoffed, walking away to the bathroom to finish drying her hair and styling it. manon followed her, "i do feel the same, lara" making the red haired woman scoff, "right, whatever you say"

manon walked closer to her and snaked her arms around the angered woman's waist, gently kissing her neck through the small space not covered by her hair. lara's head feel back against manon's shoulder, "this won't always work, you know that" lara said

"i know, but it will this time and that's all i need" manon softly whispered against lara's skin, making her tingle. "m-manon, we can't" lara tried pushing he off, her words weren't following her actions or thoughts, her body craved manon's touch and attention while her thoughts ran saying the most vulgar things.

manon sighed against lara's skin before backing off, "guess you're right", she tuned around and began walking away from the bathroom but lara grabbed her hand, turning the brunette around and pulling her into a kiss.

it started off so sweet and soft but overtime it grew more and more passionet, lara began pushing herself against manon's body, they broke off, "fuck i've missed this" lara sighed out before they pulled each other into another kiss.

lara shamelessly moaned into the kiss, manon's hands pulling the girls small waist closer against her body, while slowly pushing her on the bed. lara held manon's neck, pushing the kiss deeper, manon broke the kiss off and began kissing down lara's neck again.

lara threw her head back, allowing the older more access. lara's hips began moving on their own, rutting against manon's leg that was right where she needed her most. manon's hand traveled on their own down lara's body, her fingers and palms tracing lara's abdomen, making the younger one twitch.

"i need you.." lara whispered, low enough that only she heard it, making manon lift up, "what did you say baby?" and lara whined, thinking manon was messing with her, "no baby, repeat yourself" and lara said this time, much louder.

manon slid her hand past lara's sweats and past her panties, her fingers on her clit using one and slowly rubbing in a circle. lara whined pretty loudly, manon crashing her lips against the redhead. manon sped up her hands, slingher fingers down, now pushing two digits inside of lara, causing her to gasp.

manon broke off the kiss and began kissing down lara's body, the red haired woman failing to keep quiet while she allowed her older member to do whatever she wanted with her body. manon reached her other hand up, exposing lara's stomach, manon bit at the brown girl's flesh, making her hips buck.

manon pulled her hand from lara's pants, pulling them down to her thighs. manon made her way down to her thighs, gently caressing them before kissing them, making her way between and kissing lara's inner thighs.

lara’s breath hitched as manon’s lips touch her inner thigh, her body trembling in response to the pleasure coursing through her body. she lets out a soft whine, her legs automatically opening slightly wider for the brunette.

manon continued to pepper kisses down the girl’s inner thigh, getting dangerously closer to where she craved her the most.

she stopped once she was there, looking up into lara’s hooded eyes, manon’s hands slid between her legs, slipping two digits inside of her again.

her pace was slow but steady, lara’s body immediately responds to her touch, her breath coming out in ragged gasps as she begin to provide her with the friction she yearned for.

“m-manon..” lara moaned softly, her body arching as she feels the pleasure begin to build within her. manon would speed up then slow back down randomly, making lara’s mind wonder and turn into mush.

she felt the brunette’s soft lips against her skin, marking her and leaving hickeys. lara’s moans picked up the closer she got, making manon speed up. lara clenched around manon's fingers, the older girl now kissing at her clit, looking her in the eyes while she whimpered out that she was close.

manon went back up, now kissing lara, "i love you so much.." manon sighed against her lips before moving down. the redhead whimpered in manon's ear, "i love you... shit" before she came. manon's hands didn't slow down, she kept with that same pace, making lara be much louder than she should've.

manon pulled the redhead into a kiss while she felt the younger's body spasm under her, pulling her fingers out and gently carrasing her body. manon kissed down lara's body, cooing to her gently while lara tried catching her breath.

manon got up and grabbed a towel and some warm water to clean lara up, when she finished, lara pulled her down beside her. "you know, you didn't have to.." lara said, her voice low and shy, manon shrugged, "wanted to" she said and kissed lara again.

the pair sat in silence for a while before manon spoke, "lara?", "uh huh?" the redhead replied, "you know you didn't have to say it back, right?" and lara grabbed her cheek, "you're a loserrrrr you know?" lara said and manon chuckled, "no but, you didn't" and lara rolled her eyes before pulling the brunette into another kiss, this time the kiss had no lust but was more love.

the lips moved in sync against each other, and while this happened sopie was opening the door after getting word from megan that manon was in lara's room. she had knocked but neither girl heard it so she assumed they were busy doing things and didn't hear it.

when she opened the door she looked around and saw them, the bit her lip before closing the door, the girls saw her walking out but they didn't know what she saw, and they didn't know whether it was good or bad.

they weren't in the house and actually had just made it back home when sophie came over, manon and lara came from the room, lara was leaning against manon barely walking straight with her hair a mess. "oh..." the other four girls all said in usion, now they see why sophie ran out as fast she did.

[gyubakeries]

hi there!! since 2024’s gonna be over soooonn, i see almost everybody asking abt their wrapped for their posts and all but what abt moots?

like new moots, old moots, moots u love the most, ppl u would wanna be moots with… or do i sound crazy hahaa…?

hi anon!! u totally dont sound crazy dw <3 thanks for asking!

(sorry for the tag guys please feel free to ignore! also if i did miss out on anyone ITS BECAUSE OF MY TRASH MEMORY. I LOVE U ALL)

since i only started writing here this september, i can only talk about my lovely moots from over these last 3 months!

kie ( @k1eev ) [thank u for spamming me with reaction pics i loved them! hope to talk to u more next year <3]

skye ( @etherealyoungk ) [we literally started talking only bcs of the halloween boop thing BUT IM SO GLAD WE DID!! love u <3]

renee ( @min-imum ) [i love talking to you about mingyu sm. love your writing too and i cant wait to read more!]

elle ( @hearts4hee ) [WE CLICKED RIGHT AWAYYYY so glad to have met you here. spam me with haechan pics whenever ur online again!!!!]

sousy ( @sousydive ) [love brainstorming with you on discord. i'd love to get closer to u in 2025!]

kyii ( @yiichan ) [that one day we were chatting on discord about that one bot.... its one of my fav memories. you're really funny and im so glad to be ur moot!]

juliana ( @horangieszhosh ) [we only spoke for the first time a few weeks ago but you're so sweet! can't wait to read more of your writing and get closer next year <3]

kae ( @ylangelegy ) [your writing will never fail to absolutely blow my mind 😵‍💫 you're amazing and i hope we get closer next year too!]

@seungkwansflower [we havent interacted a lot, but you've always supported my writing and im really thankful for it! thank you for reading <333]

maple ( @maplegyu ) [i WILL write that mingyu fic for u!! thanks for reading my writing! you're really sweet <333]

no favoritism bcs i love all my moots equally 🥰🥰. and im hoping to interact with more writers/blogs in the coming year!

also all anons who have requested, big hugs for you guys too. (ESPECIALLY the first anon who requested for scoups fluff, which led me to write opposites. ill always remember you)

thank you to ALLLL the lovely people i've interacted with! even if i havent mentioned you here im still grateful to all of you <3

[3cremepie3]

Winter concert

Synopsis - ANGST & SMUT 18+! CATER X FEM READER! You find out about Caters saddening behavior and do everything in your power to take him out of that dark headspace. You're in love with him after all.

Warnings - mentions of self-harm, scars, cvtting, smut, unprotected sex, creampies, declarations of love

A/n - at the end of the story. This is pretty heavy pls read all tags. AND MERRY Christmas 🎄!! ANGST & SMUT 18+! CATER X FEM READER!

“Oh my god you guys were amazing,” you gushed. “I can’t believe you broke your guitar right in front of Crowley Lilia! And Kalim don’t even get me started on that drum break,” you rambled.

“Thank you Y/n,” Kalim gleamed. “Our biggest fan strikes again,” Lilia says. “Of course look what I made you guys.” You laid out a poster you made of them on the auditorium floor.

The crowd was bustling in the background leaving the venue but you could still hear their oos and ahhs. “We love it,” Lilia and Kalim cheered. Cater smiled too but was quieter than his usual demeanor.

Kalim ended up taking the poster home with him promising he would hang it up. And Lila left soon after him with Silver and Sebek fanboying. Cater was still at the venue putting his guitar in his sticker-covered case.

“You’re always the last to pack up,” you say. “Taking responsibility for those messy boys I guess? He shook his head picking up his amp. You watched the muscles in his lean arms flex while he did so. “Why are you so quiet today Cater?” He was your crush you could notice any change in his behavior.

“Something happened I don’t know about,” you questioned. As your guy's unofficial manager I demand to know,” you bluffed. “You know about it.” He groaned and mumbled at the same time making his words drawn out but quiet. “Then tell me! Or I’m gonna steal this!” You pouted grabbing his guitar case before he could get to it.

“Y/n pls,” he sighed deeply clearly irritated. “Just tell me,” you giggle. He runs after you almost catching you until he falls over a speaker cord. “Jesus Cater I’m sorry.” You say rushing over to him he falls flat on his pretty face.

“Fuck!” He cussed harshly while getting off the ground. It’s obvious he had a bad day. You grabbed his hand helping him up off the slippery stage floors. While you did so you noticed his sleeve roll up. You couldn’t help but glance at the fresh scars lined up across his wrist.

They were a burning bright red contrasting across his pale skin. “Cater…,” you trailed. He grabbed his arm away from your hand quickly pulling down his sleeve along with it. “Wait Cater I’m sorry,” you called after him.

"You can talk to me I didn’t mean to be intrusive," you stated. He exited the doors quickly ignoring your pleas. "Swear I won't tell anyone," you insisted. You chased after him carrying the gift you made in his honor. He stayed quiet continuing his walk to the chamber of mirrors. "Cater please I don't want you to keep doing this to yourself!"

You had both finally come to a halt stopping at the hall of mirror doors. You watched as expression changed through the many reflective lenses. "You're always so god damn nosy Y/n. Why can't you just leave me alone," he screamed.

"Well, that's because I love your guy's work. Truly I do You are all very talented." Talented my ass," Cater huffed. "What do you mean," you interrupted. "Im nothing but a fuck up! My work up there was sloppy and offbeat and I don't deserve to be in a club with people that much more talented than me."

"Everywhere I go I feel like I'm lagging behind everyone." Cater breaking away from his normally cheerful demeanor would normally make you excited since you were seeing the real him. But this was different. "Cater... I didn't expect any of this and I'm sorry if I annoy you."

"But I'm only around you so much because I care about you. I love the music you make and even if you do badly in a performance that's what you have practices for. People are never going to be perfect that's the point of having so much time in life so you can use it to improve. Also, I couldn’t hear one mistake up there but maybe that’s just my untrained ears,” you thought.

For a moment everything was silent you had imagined that what you said probably felt like useless rambling to him. And After what felt like 10 minutes of silence he turned around to your begging face. "Do you mean that?" Of course I do baby," You smile. He swears it's the brightest thing he's ever seen so blinding it could take away all his senses for an eternity.

"Cater you're only 18 years old. I know on social media you see all these people with the luxuries of grown adults but they set unrealistic standards. In my eyes, you're doing well." You grab his freckled hand and squeeze it. His palms are sweaty and his eyes are searching yours for any hint of lying.

"You have good grades," you say. "Well that's because of Riddle," he admits. "He may have had some influence but you keep them up mostly yourself otherwise that collar would be on your neck right now," you giggle. "And you have more clout than any of my socials combined!"

"That's because I spam posts with hashtags," he frowns. "So do thousands of others and who did the algorithm pick up?" You raised your eyebrows waiting for an answer. "Me," he smirks. "Yeah, you Cater you're my favorite niche micro internet celebrity."

"Really," he gasps. "Yes, your magicam is so aesthetically pleasing I can't help but cyberstalk you sometimes." Woah creepy much," he teases. "You know you love having fans." You playfully roll your eyes. "Thank you for this Y/n I really appreciate it."

His voice dropped from its "normal" high pitch when he stated this making you wonder if the Cater you knew wasn't the real him all along. "Anytime really." You grab both of his hands not wanting to ever let go. "Get a room," a drunken savannaclaw student yells. He pushes past the both of you entering the hall of mirrors.

“Asshole,” you suck your teeth. "Look Cater I know recovery may seem far ahead right now but it's best to stop before things get out of hand." You're both entering the hall of mirrors as you speak. Just as he's nearing the Heartslybul dimension you mumble "I can't afford to lose you too."

"Y/n." He turns around to see you in tears.” Sorry I’m such a baby,” you laugh. "Please don't cry over me I'm right here." You're instantly pulled into his arms he embraces your trembling form. "Cater let me spend the night please itll give me peace of mind," you beg.

"Riddle would kill me if he knew a girl was in my room are you kidding me," he huffed. "Well sneak me in," you demanded. "Come on I know you sneak in magicdash all the time Ace and Duece tell me so.” Fine just follow my league."

When you get to the dorm it’s dark it’s been at least an hour past bedtime. You and Cater creep down the halls careful not to knock into the many statues and card decor. "My rooms up this way." He guides you by the hand sending shivers up your spine. You always dreamed of him touching you past friendly pats on the back. Finally, after endless halls you make it.

"Now I see why I've never been here before why is your room so far away? It was the only place I could get a room to myself after the house wardens changed." He removes his shoes and jacket plopping down on his bed. You stand up taking a look around his room.

"So where’s the weapon of interest," You asked. You took a seat at his desk chair turning it around to face his bed. "Ahh why did I invite you here," he sighs. "So I could help you remember?" You glance over at his slumped form. “Fine it's in that lockbox." he points to underneath his dresser. There's a small safe-like box that you remember him getting in the silk city.

"You gotta open it i don't have the key." You can tell he's hesitant as you walk over to him. You sit next to him on the bed watching as he fiddles with the passcode. "I promise you you're gonna feel so much better after this." He opened the box revealing sharp razor blades. Some you could tell were used.

You couldn’t help but frown seeing the sight. How could someone so perfect hurt themselves like that? "You're gonna be so proud of yourself after you get rid of them.” You rub his shoulder and without parting your lips further encourage him to get rid of them. But he still makes no moves "Come on you got this," you challenge. He freezes in place for a minute.

He thinks a little harder about your words. "And how would you know? You keep saying you know what's good for me and you haven't experienced shit." You have all the friends in the world here? His face cringes at your calm one peering back at him.

Looking into his eyes you could tell they were hurt bloodshot red from crying. You know this is triggering for him since you're seeing him how no one else does. The him without his happy-go-lucky facade. "I didn't wanna have to do this." You get off the bed and he watches as you strip down to your underwear.

You blush heavily reavling your body. "There's so many," he winces. He should ask but he can't help but feel your skin. Your scars cover your thighs in long streaks many of them so deep he wonders how you didnt have to go to the infirmary. Your upper arms right above your sleeves also hold some.

"I made sure to hide them where no one could see unless they undressed me. Guess that's why I can't keep a boyfriend I refuse to have sex with them because of this," You laugh to hide your pain. "I'm sorry,” he says eyes dropping to the floor. You huff going to grab your shirt to put back on. "I had to let you see this ugly part of me. So you can know at one point I felt the same level of emptiness.”

"You're anything but ugly." He pulls your body into his giving you a tight hug. You can tell he doesn't want to let go and is caught up in the moment since he's hugging your half-naked form. "What I see is a person that was trying to hide their struggles eventually break through from them and stop altogether." These scars are all healed." he said admiring your plush thighs. “And their fading I can tell you haven’t done it for months.”

Eventually, he realizes how and where he caressing you his actions his brain deemed as sweet now affecting him truly. "Shit I'm sorry I must seem like a perv," he cussed letting you go. "It’s okay," you chuckle. You kiss his cheek "I know you didn't mean it like that sweet boy." His face turns a bright red your kneeling over him on his bed and all he can see is your cleavage through your bra.

"You can heal too Cater I know you can. I got to into my head about being brought here to twisted wonderland and was sad that I lost everything. My family, house, friends, even my trifling schoolmates. Then I reflected and realized I was probably brought here for a reason. I believe everyone has a purpose and you will find yours. It may not be in this school and that’s alright.”

"I thought of all the friends I made. Like Ace and Grim oh and you of course though my feelings for you were a little different," you added. "Are you saying what i think youre saying," he asked. "Yes Cater I love with you with my whole heart. Don’t ever forget it and if you would allow me too… I want to be one with you. Youre the only person to see me for everything I truly am." One of his hands goes to the smooth of your back while the other interlocks with your own.

"I feel the same way Y/n im so sorry for what i said earlier. It’s just I thought you were happy I was such a idiot for not realizing. In the end I just pushed you away.” It’s okay maybe I was great at hiding it after all just never blame yourself. And don’t ever be mean to me again I had to try not to cry,” you pouted. "I promise i wont from now and to forever." Mark that promise with a kiss," You demand your arms wrapping themselves behind his head. He does so his tounge tracing around your unfimilar mouth. You quickly get used to how hungry he is taking the limited breaths of air he gives you not for granted.

His hands draw down to your panties removing the garments and tossing them somewhere into his room. “Can I touch you,” he asks. You shake your head pulling his hands further down your body. “This is a little more than a kiss,” you tease. You feel him smirk onto your mouth not stopping for anything.

He grips your ass pulling you down onto his crotch. You can feel his hard on as you grind down. The tension is delicious as his mouth further engulfs yours. There’s nothing more you guys can share as you devour each other. By the time you pull away your face is covered your connected spit.

His hands move you at a steady tempo. The thick fabric of his jeans make you wish he wore leggings as you can’t feel him as much as you need him. “Cater if you’re comfortable can you take off your pants?” Anything for you precious.” He speaks while peeling off his pants his legs are all clear thankfully.

“You’re lucky I trust you very few have seen this package,” he brags. You giggle while bringing yourself down on him. You both only have a thin layer of clothing stopping you from greatness. But you’re to scared to ask him if he wants to go that far.

He’s already gave you a lot tonight trusting you with his business . “I’m surprised,” you say between breathes. “That you aren’t tryna take pictures right now,” you joke. “I won’t post them of course but can I,” he pleads. “Wanna save them for later!”

“Fine I have something post worthy,” you winked. He blushed at your behavior. You grabbed his jaw forcing him to receive the many kisses you gave him. “Look at you baby!” You handed him a mirror to show his lipstick stained face and lips.

“Wow this is totes postable if you want me to of course.” Of course I want you too,”you smiled. “Don’t you want me to show you off?” Everyone at school would freak out but yeah I’d love that.” Fine then later on it’s posted but for now there’s something else I need to focus on.”

“You’ve been making me feel good with all your sweet words dear and you deserve to feel the same way.” His hands dipped into your waistband sending butterflies tumbling in your stomach. “I’ve never done-.” Shh just let me handle it relax okay?”

Your legs parted for him allowing him to enter inside of you. His fingers were long and slender while two of them worked at slowly stretching you another one traced your clit. He watched your cute reactions in admiration “you’re so sensitive.”

“Does it feel good,” he asked. “Yes you’re doing so well.” You bit your lip trying to hold back your moans. Your eye contact was strong as he worked your hole. “Mmm you’re so wet baby you hear that?”

“Cater that’s so embarrassing stop,” you whined. “It’s sexy knowing you like this so much.” All for me huh? Yes for you,” you blurted. Your hand went to his wrist trying to slow down his pattern an orgasm like you never experienced was upcoming.

He swatted your hand away and kept working while you got an idea. You pulled out his dick and watched it spring onto his abdomen. “Leaking so much,” you asked. “Can’t help it seeing that pretty body.” You stroaked to the rhythm of his fingers. You couldn’t help but get giddy at his words.

He went faster sending your toes curling and mind spiraling you did the same onto his dick. “Gonna cum already?” Don’t tease me I can’t help it,” he grits. Looking into each others eyes you could tell you were getting lost.

The rooms noise level filled drastically as you groaned into each others mouths having no courtesy for the people near by. Your fingers traced his slit spreading his precum down onto his shaft.

You felt him twitch in your palm. His ears were bright red and tears pooled in his eyes. His lips were getting swollen from kissing. “Fuck!” You’ve never seen such a more stunning sight. It made you want to savor the moment.

But you couldn’t think when he was knuckles deep in you. “I don’t think I can wait,” you hissed. “Please let me cum Cater. He almost came undone with you asking for permission. “Fine we can do it together uggh!” Not even a second later and you were releasing all over each others hands making a mess outta your underwear.

You held him close as he kissed up your neck. You both collapsed on each other out of breath. You could feel his heart pounding on yours and for a moment you were at peace until you felt him get hard again behind you.

“Looks like we’ll be spending a lot of time together,” you smirked. You laid back on the bed. “I thought you were a virgin Y/n?” I am. “Youre losing it to me,” he gasped. “Yes Cater you’re an amazing person how many times do I have to tell you I trust you?” I rather it be you than anyone else.”

“Tell me to stop at anytime okay?” You shook your head. He spread your legs and lined up his cock with your awaiting hole. “I’m ready.” You held onto one of his pillows it smelled like him. He thought you looked too cute holding on for dear life.

You wished his dick wasn’t so fat as he stilled inside you. “You’re bleeding are you okay?” Yes,” you cried burying your face into the pillow. “I’m used to it but can you please hold my hand?” He answered your simple request by holding them. He used both to stabilize himself making slow thrust.

Even though it felt like he was about to burst out his seems in your tight heat he held back until you were ready. Your legs wrapping around his narrow torso told him so. And for the first time in his life he knew he was in some place where he belonged. One he never wanted to leave as long as you were there.

The more your pretty lips called out his name the more he wanted to just claim you forever. Your gummy walls squeezed tightly around him. “Gosh you feel so good,” Cater cooed. His body pressed against yours bringing your legs up to your chest. He swore he could drool at any moment from keeping his mouth open.

It couldn’t stop hanging open as he muttered curses into your ears. You couldn’t help but take the sinful talk as he pressed you down his hands leaving yours to put you in a mating press. You swore all air was knocking out of your lungs as he did so.

You vision began to get foggy as your body was being controlled by his dick. “Give it to me! So good… too good,” you swooned. “Going all stupid for me my love,” he hummed. You shook your head a dozen times already fucked out. You couldn’t help but gush on him as he picked up his pace.

“So sorry- I don’t wanna hurt you.” It’s alright feels good!” Your hands traced up his arms feeling up his scars but he didn’t mind. “Wanna be like this for the rest of my life,” he grunted.

You giggled as his mouth came down onto yours. Your teeth clashed and tounges collided but it was filled with joy. “I can tell you’re almost there come on let go,” he instructed. “I wanna cum together,” you grinned. “Good I can’t hold back anymore.” His whimpers were becoming more apparent as he spilled his seed in you.

He sounded like he was in pure extasy while you creamed all over him. Even though he pulled out he could still feel the connection you both now shared. And to think he was gonna skip out on the concert. He laid next to you in bed facing you.

Your body was spasming a bit still and his fresh cum poured out of you. “Can we cockwarm I bet it’ll feel good,” he advised. “Later after you complete your final step.” By now you’re both half asleep and Cater doesn’t want to do anything to leave your side.

But he’s ready to appease you and himself. He takes the box away from the floor and disposes of the blades. You cheer a bit and he gets back in bed. “It’s a pretty box again I think I know what I’m gonna fill it with this time.” And what’s that,” you wondered.

“The pictures from today and here on out.” You smiled from ear to ear. “Does this mean we’re dating now?” Duh dummy,” he taunted.

A/n - this was pretty personal lol. But Cater is one of the most mysterious Twisted Wonderland characters. Whenever his true nature is hinted at it’s always something sneaky or pretty depressed. It’s like he has this happy mask on that he can’t break outta habit from his childhood. So I thought to make a story like this. I will probably write a part two because things don’t change over night and there will be more to these characters. I didn’t mention it but they do end up cockwarming and going for more rounds ;3

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[trauma-bot]

sin eater

[m1d-45]

bloodletting

summary: a budding god needs a place to test their new powers, and childe was always a little too eager to lose a fight... a match made in heaven!

word count: 1.7k

-> warnings : minor AQ spoilers ? just like, general gi plot.. fairly graphic depiction of blood + other injuries (might be classed as body horror???). generally obsessive tendencies (childe <--> you). i cannot stress this enough, reader is 110% a sadist.

-> gn reader (you/yours)

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr || @ryuryuryuyurboat || @undrxtxd || @rainswept || @wanderersqt || @rozz-eokkk

< masterlist >

power was not something that came easy. it was fought over, stolen, defended with teeth and claw, tides of blood shed just so one could have power over another. social, physical, financial; no matter the leverage it provided, power was hard won. to give someone power was to admit defeat, a certain death that tartaglia had learned and taught more than his fair share of times. nobody undeserving of power ever held onto it for long; it was an acknowledgement that you were better, that you deserved it, that you’d won. power was a fickle resource that childe would kill to keep, only ever laying down his blade for a precious few.

the tsaritsa, of course. his fellow harbingers, skilled both on and off-field, who themselves could rival the archons. his family, for whom he’d happily give the world.

and naturally, who would be more worthy to hold power than you?

you, not just a god but the, the highest authority across all of teyvat. you bore a hundred names and a thousand monikers, your worship the one thing the world could agree on. granted, nobody could quite agree on how, but that was fine. childe did not need external powers to tell him what to do. he knew, in his deepest heart, that he had gotten it right.

he knew—and, on occasion, flaunted—that he was your favorite. of all the vessels you had chosen, you returned to him time and time again, wishing on his stars until his vision gleamed. his bow shone with power, even his weakest weapon more than enough to push his strength to new heights. part of him wondered what he could do if you’d granted him swords, or a claymore… but that was speculation for another time. didn’t it say something that you had still chosen him at his weakest?

the thought always made him smile. thick in the heat of puppeteered battle, before the sun to after dark, your presence was a constant in his life. at every altar, with every offering, when his hands stung from the rash of leather and his blade was covered in rust, your name a prayer behind blood-soaked teeth. he could not remember a time when his pocket was not weighted with a charm.

his devotion was no secret. he wore your bow with pride, entirely phasing out his other weapons. it didn’t matter that he was technically more controlled with them, for you had chosen this path for him. your word was his guide, a polar star through bitter nights.

he did not doubt when your presence ebbed or flowed. who was he to dictate when or where you spent your attention? no, his faith did not waver. it had no reason to. he waited patiently, going about his regular duties, lingering in snezhnaya for no other reason that he just felt like he had to.

who was he to question to buzzing in the back of his head? who was he to decline when he felt an instinct to leave, to go for a trip far past the city gates? who was he to think himself better than the guiding light that had never led him astray?

for you, he was whatever you needed. and so he went, armed with a thick coat and snowboots, hands shoved deep in the pockets to hide the slight shake. down the main road, an arbitrary turn into an alley and down an abandoned path, into a part of the city he’d never traveled. but a golden thread had tied itself around his heart, pulling without hesitation. he easily hopped over the fence gate, not bothering with hauling it open through the snow. the path beyond was covered in a thick layer of powder, his foot crunching through a foot of it before hitting solid ground. still, he continued.

snezhnayan winters were not warm. they bit and dug into every gap in your clothes, stealing away the precious warmth within. and yet, with his half-done coat and incomplete guard, he was not cold. or, rather, he couldn’t feel it. his hands were pink with frost, stiff at the knuckles, but he couldn’t feel the resistance. his body was not important, not now.

the snow began to thin. it fell from his knees to his shins to his ankles to his toes, until he was face to face with a thick wall of bramble, impossibly overgrown. he was beginning to overheat in his jacket. twin blades made quick work of the wall, and the sight behind it easily dispelled any breath left in his lungs.

the air that washed out of the bubble was thick and heavy, like a humid spring instead of snezhnayan woods. his breath came in short gasps, a shameful wheeze that he hoped was missed beneath the howling snow. he didn’t want you to see him as weak, as someone so easily tired by a short trip to a falling star; he didn’t want you to think of him as anything other than his best.

but you didn’t push him away. you helped him up—his head was buzzing with delusion, he could hardly see, when had he fallen to his knees?—and brushed the snow off his hair, not pushing him away when he leaned into your touch. he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, could barely collect himself enough to recognize that he needed to get you inside, away from the wilds.

that was power. to so effortlessly take over every thought in his head, to hold his mind in your hands and pull it into your liking, that was the power he adored you for. gods were figureheads of power, a physical incarnation of their dominion. a god of the entire world would only naturally have power to manipulate that world to their liking. how blessed was he, that he could be the first you made yours.

he was with you when you first stepped into zapolyarny palace, looking around at the chandeliers and fine tile. he opened the door for you to her majesty’s throne room, sucking in a sharp breath as you brushed by. he was by your side when the tsaritsa swore you her fealty, delicately placing the gnoses in your hands.

and oh, how he’d fallen to the floor right then and there, dizzy from the wash of power that rolled off you in waves, an ocean that he willingly dove into. the floor was cool beneath his forehead, his hair sticking to his skin as sweat quickly began to bead. he didn’t bother pushing himself up on his hands, teeth sinking deep into his lip again to control his panting breath. copper bloomed over his tongue, filling his mouth and clogging what remained of his senses.

dimly, he was aware that he was being pathetic, that this would surely change your mind about him. he heard your voice, faint through the fog of his mind, your wisdom lost to his own inadequacy. and yet, despite his weakness, every part of him was tuned into you. he knew it was your hand whispering across his shoulders, he knew it was your influence that stole the breath from his lungs. he knew it was you, because it was always you. you were all he could think of, and now you were finally able to leverage your full power over his self.

he’d woken up in a hospital bed. saline dripped into his arm and the lights pierced his eyes, his head full of snow and iced over. and yet, the moment he was cleared for release, he found himself desperate to be back to your side, racing through the tiled halls of the palace and following the urgent burn in his chest. you would have been right to turn him away, to deem him too weak to stay by your side, but you didn’t. you smiled when he lost his breath and laughed when he wavered, brushing off his concern. you invited him with you—his lungs burned with the need for oxygen—as you twirled the gnoses between your fingers, as if they were toys or paperweights rather than objects of divine power.

divine to him. child’s play to you. a courtyard of snow was cleared in an instant, ripples of pyro melting permafrost while keeping the flora beneath intact, a lazy show of power that pulled little more than a slight hum from you in response.

he wasn’t so much a fool as to think he could teach you everything, or even something, about being divine. and yet he clung to your side like a sailor in a storm, watching as you grew familiar with the elements. he watched, stubborn and weak, as you stopped hesitating.

flowers bloomed as you walked by, crumbling to ash with the slightest look. electro jumped from your skin to his, a painful spark that drew his mind from his head, finally seeing your amused eyes instead of just mindlessly staring. you could—should—have just left him behind, but you didn’t. you instead asked for his help, taking his hand in yours and leading him to a quieter hallway of the palace. you didn’t comment on his thundering pulse despite the fact that you could certainly feel it, tracing a finger along the crease of his palm.

“i wonder…”

a claw of geo cut across his skin, a sharp sting that quickly welled with blood. he barely felt it, watching with detached awe as it filled up his hand, sliding over the edge and dripping to the floor. you didn’t show any emotion, just… watching. his heart beat in his hands, a pool collecting on the floor, and still, you just watched. your other hand moved over the surface, barely an inch away, the blood collecting in a bubble beneath it. with a hum, your fist tightened, pain lighting up his arm. a strained grunt slipped between his teeth, hand flinching closed, brushing against the ball of his blood you had pulled from his veins. his hand was stained red, shaking in your grasp, minutes stretched into hours.

all at once, it dropped, forced back into his body as forcefully as it was removed. with a snap, the skin stitched itself shut, and you were again dragging him along like a child did their favorite toy.

you did that a lot. pull him aside and experiment with whatever new reaction you had discovered that month, week, day, hour, watching his reactions with unabashed delight. and he let you. every time, without fail, he eagerly followed, knowing full well he’d end up rigid with lightning or with ice crystals studding his throat. it was worth it, though. you always fixed him up, squeezing his hand with a whispered ‘good job’ that never failed to make him dizzy.

it didn’t matter what you did to him. it never did. even when his mind was hazy with pain and he couldn’t quite stand on his own, he never regretted it. unconsciousness licked at the edges of his vision, burning black stains that lingered even after you stopped, but he never once hesitated.

if you asked him to jump, he’d ask how high. if you felt like holding him underwater, he’d cherish every bruise. to be kept as a toy was still to be kept.

[dukeofthomas]

I can't find it now but there's a post about suspension of disbelief and how it's broken when the story starts trying to excuse it. "character gets knocked unconscious for hours but there's no further issues from this" okay 👍 "and actually this makes perfect sense because of this and that" um no it doesn't why are you lying to me. like i am willing to ignore the holes and the discrepancies!! all you need to do is let me and not bring unnecessary attention to it!!!

and all that is my issue with the whole robin child soldier argument. like i am willing to ignore it i am willing to engage with the fantasy literally all you need to do is NOT try to convince me that Actually It's Fine Because They Want To Do It or whatever. like literally just shut up about it and i can engage with the fantasy!!

[monotone-artist]

[id in alt]

some idw redraws