#so im officially 27 now

[ganondoodle]

im 27 now

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[clippy]

so today (12/30/22) marks the 10 year anniversary of me making a gijinka of clippy and literally altering the course of my life... i've talked in-depth about the specifics multiple times but that doesn't matter right now... what matters is Clippy is still one of my favorite characters of all time and i love him so much

[hanzajesthanza]

growing up with sapkowski’s works timeline (teen to early adult)

13 — ciri age (BoE)

14 — ciri age (ToC)

15 — ciri age (LoTL), pavetta age (QoP)

17 — shani age

18 — essi daven age, nicolette age (ToF)

19 — angoulême age

23 — reynevan age (ToF)

24 — condwiramurs age

25 — cahir age, reynevan age (WoG)

27 — reynevan age (LP)

late 20s — milva age

[missingn000]

[foggysilverfeathers]

Fake HC 10 dashboard mayhaps??

0 notes

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

Reminder to love yourself! Smell the trees! Everything will be okay in the end 😊 ☀️

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

nvm gem ran out of pickles im depressed again

🐟 gemstone Follow

I RESTOCKED THIS MORNING HOW HAVE YOU ALREADY SOLD ME OUT

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

1,930 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 126 without a mending book

27 notes

🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow

uM hey @.hpo-official could i ask why you havent' received my messages?/? Every calsl Ive made just puts me on holdd

⬜️ hpo-official-948204deactivated

Sorry about that, sir. Admin error. I'll speak to my manager.

🚂 scars-axasqottles Follow

...hELLO?

🌸 joel-beans Follow

lmao they deactivated what a loser

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

Remember there's a person behind every poor worker! I see you bullies in the notes

🐟 gemstone Follow

@/mending-book-fanatic is a hermit permit office spy confirmed??

2,441 notes

🌸 joel-beans Follow

Guys everyone agrees that purpur is cheap and beautiful and godlike and everyone should go buy it right now this second *sweats*

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

I feel like I'm missing something...

🌸 joel-beans Follow

SHE HAS EYES EVERYWHERE BDUBS

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

Joel!

🌸 joel-beans Follow

If I don’t respond within the hour assume she got me

133 notes

🎩 symmetrical-minister Follow

anyone know a good shop for ethically-sourced wood?? i normally shop at big wood but ive heard things about a mafia :/

🪓 big-salmon Follow

That is absolutely NOT true!! If anything you should be targeting the crypto scheme at Big Wood,,

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

aaaand this is why you should never trust businessmen in red suits

🪓 big-salmon Follow

says the one compensating with a massive HOURGLASS of all things

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Actually @.big-salmon Xisuma_voyd made a really well-explained video here going into detail about all of the shady elements of Big Wood, it's worth a watch.

🐟 gemstone Follow

To answer the original question OP here are some safer (privately owned!) shops :)

Gem's Moss Shop (azaleas for sale which can be bonemealed)

Bdub's Bamboo Shop (bamboo wood is a good eco-friendly alternative to your typical spruce or oak)

The Purr-purr bus (if you're okay with having slightly more exotic trees, from the End)

Hope this helped! <3

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

Why would you pay diamonds for less when you could just pay a few grains of sand for the best quality wood in the shopping district? You people confuse me

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

actually the Purr-purr bus isn't ethical at all!! ive heard they blackmail people into giving them sails!!!

🐟 gemstone Follow

*sales

🌲 supreme-judge-bd Follow

SHUDDUP

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

:(

2,750 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 131 without a mending book

34 notes

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

day 164 without a mending book

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Grian you know you can get free mending books at the cat cafe right

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

it's not the same

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

I need to be able to smell the breath of the sea between its sodden pages

🎣 mending-book-fanatic Follow

continue along the same path and you'll soon be facing villager unions

2,316 notes

🔥 tongo-tak Follow

Friendly reminder that not everyone wakes up at 2am, so please tag your Pearldle spoilers for at least a few hours!!

☀️ pearlescent-post Follow

skill issue tbh

1,102 notes

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

hallo how flirt with pretty girl time sensitive question

🌺 git-gorgeous Follow

sell them something

🔥 tongo-tak Follow

bribe diamonds

🐍 puppet-master Follow

kill them

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

okay will do!!!!

🇸🇪 death2diorite85 Follow

wait

2,989 notes

🐍 puppet-master Follow

Happy pride month to lgbtqia+ people of all ages, genders and sexualities, you're all so valid and so loved <3 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

🐟 gemstone Follow

<3

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

I'm making a rainbow beacon for pride, come look for it! i'll be with it by my husband @ renthedog's hole all week

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

*HOLE

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

*HOME

⌛️ d0ctorm77 Follow

WAIT I ACCIDENTALLY TAGGED IT

🐾 renthedog Follow

um.

2,655 notes

🌸 joel-beans Follow

etho is just kakashi on maple syrup send post

🌸 joel-beans Follow

almost forgot to add important additional difference! etho is also obsessed with me

1,113 notes

[bread--quest]

It's 2012 somewhere. Welcome.... to Night Vale Tumblr.

👁️ nvcr-official

Hi guys! I'm Intern Sarah! Excited to be joining you all!

👁️ nvcr-official

To the friends and family of Intern Sarah, she was a good intern and social media manager, and we are sorry to see her go. We will work to find a new intern as soon as possible.

83 notes

🦉 dark-owl-records

CALL OUT POST FOR CECIL PALMER

hes gotten away with shit for too long and im sick of it. tl;dr horrific intern mistreatment with no compensation, mountain denier, homophobic

keep reading

❌ number-one-moonhater Follow

Hey uh. Aren't you a company account? Why are you posting this

🦉 dark-owl-records

L + ratio + god forbid women do anything + your music taste is trash

🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow

Isn't Cecil literally gay?

🦉 dark-owl-records

he's homophobic

🪼 jeebyfish Follow

he has a husband...

🦉 dark-owl-records

yeah and he won't fucking shut up about it

2,500 notes

🤫 cecils-private-blog

Carlos hasn't liked any of my woodcarving posts in THREE DAYS!! I'm so scared what if he's going to break up with me :((

👁️ nvcr-official

Cecil he's your husband he's not breaking up with you. also this isn't a private blog you just put private in the url

🤫 cecils-private-blog

HOW DID YOU SEE THIS

4 notes

🏜️ sandeater Follow

tamika flynn spotted in ralph's dairy aisle "slaying" the milk

🦂 scorpiansscuttle Follow

op i know this is a joke but one time i was in the ralphs dairy aisle and there was some butter up on a really high shelf and someone said "don't worry, i'll get it" and i turned around and it was fucking tamika flynn

☁️ average-weather-enjoyer Follow

fake story :/

📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram

No it's true I was there

🚂 traintonowhere Follow

TAMIKA FLYNN??

🏜️ sandeater Follow

what the fuck is happening on my post

8,345 notes

👁️ nvcr-official

can you guys please stop sending cecil weird shit... i don't want to have to explain to my boss what a dilf is

27 notes

🐚 mariella-shella

Hey guys!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently! I entered a hole in the wall and when I got out I realized I didn't know how long I'd been in there, or where I was, or who I am, and I'm not sure that I'm still the person who entered that hole however long ago. Anyway, the normal posting schedule will resume as soon as I remember what my normal posting schedule was, and if I'm still the person who had that posting schedule!

🌪️ sandstorm-gf Follow

omg mariella!!! missed u so much girl glad ur back!

🐚 mariella-shella

i miss me too

42 notes

😎 Anonymous asked: Response to the homophobic allegations?

🎙️ cecilpalmer

Huh??

🎙️ cecilpalmer

@nvcr-official What does this mean? Is it new slang?

👁️ nvcr-official

uhhhh dont worry about it buddy

50 notes

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

hey guys im in quarantine for eating wheat and wheat byproducts uh...send asks?? i might be in here for a while lmaooo

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

oh lights in the sky its been 5 years since i made this post

☁️ glowcloudapologist Follow

how's it going op

🧤 missy-mittens Follow

i miss my family

506 notes

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

hey if anyone remembers anything about the person running this blog can you tell me? trying to recover the fragments of my identity from the void of memory lol

🥔 potato-enthusiast Follow

you were really hot

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

FUCK YEAHHHHHH

89 notes

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

just a reminder that new residents of east night vale are fully welcome to interact with this blog!!!! you will not be harassed and any hate will be blocked. this blog is safe even if this town isn't sometimes <3

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

This is so sweet, thank you so much! Just so you know, even though it's officially called East Night Vale now, a lot of people still call it Desert Bluffs! Just thought you might want to know :)

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

i'm not calling it that sorry

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

What??? Why??

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

just kind of sucks. as a name

🌻 sunflowergirl Follow

?????????

170 notes

🐄

⬜️ kentuckymeatshower_deactivated11051983

what does this mean....

🌌 cece-xeze Follow

another great post from huntokar herself

16,683 notes

🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow

🌲 little-miss-ectoplasm Follow

you don't like pine cliff? 👻 oo ooo?

👁️ nvcr-official

NIGHT VALE SWEEEEEP

806 notes

😁 the-happy-smiler Follow

Hi everyone!! Since Twitter went down, I figured I'd try my hand at this Tumblr thing! I'm so excited to meet all of you!! Hope you're ready for some pictures of CENTIPEDES!! Feel free to AMA about the Smiling God!

👁️ nvcr-official

I

🦉 dark-owl-records

N

🎙️ cecilpalmer

T

📚 isurvivedthesummerreadingprogram

E

🙈 seesomethingsaynothing Follow

R

🚂 traintonowhere Follow

L

🦉 a-weird-bird Follow

O

🌌 cece-xeze Follow

P

🐚 mariella-shella Follow

E

🚁 helicopters-in-your-area Follow

R

21,983 notes

[omegalomania]

so im sure everyones fully well aware of the magic 8 ball site fob is using to promote a contest to win some tickets to see them in nashville. the little 8ball widget theyve got in browser is also modeled on the physical 8ball that they had in the vip merch packages for tourdust's first leg, which is cool! but of particular note is the way that, to fill out the contest form, you have to pick your favorite fall out boy songs. and the sheer breadth of what is allowed is...interesting? it's not cohesive by any means, but it is really wild the selection of songs they have here because not all of them are fob songs. in fact, quite a few of them aren't.

i went directly to the source code and got a full list of all possible songs that you could input (which you can check for yourself by right-clicking and selecting "view source"). i'm going to list them here for archival purposes, with a few notes/explanations cause some of these are WILD.

there are 187 songs total listed.

bolded songs indicate songs that are demos or never received an official release

italicized songs are songs by other bands

underlined songs indicate songs that are covers

songs with an asterisk beside them (*) indicate they are from patrick's solo catalogue. two asterisks (**) are for pete's.

additional commentary by me will be [in brackets]

20 Dollar Nose Bleed 27 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen) 7-9 Legendary A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More "Touch Me" A Nice Myth [one of the earliest fall out boy demos, found on their first ep, and only the casette version at that] Allie* Alone Together Alpha Dog America's Suitehearts American Beauty/American Psycho (song) American Made Art of Keeping Up Disappearances As Long as I Know I'm Getting Paid* Austin, We Have a Problem Baby Annihilation Bad Side of 25* Bang the Doldrums Beat It Big Hype* Bishops Knife Trick Bob Dylan Bounce [this is a song that came out on then-Decaydance labelmates The Cab's debut record, Whisper War, which patrick produced. he has writing credit and also is credited with background vocals (and also shows up in the music video)] Caffeine Cold Calm Before the Storm Centuries Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends Champion Check Your Phone** Chicago is So Two Years Ago Church City in a Garden Coast (It's Gonna Get Better)* Coffee's for Closers Cryptozoology* Cute Girls* Cyanide** [this is a nothing,nowhere song that pete did some spoken word parts and backing vocals on] Dance Miserable* Dance, Dance Dead on Arrival Dear Future Self (Hands Up) Death Valley Deep Blue Love* [song patrick did for the indie short film "spell"] Demigods Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? Electric Touch [the (in?)famous taylor swift song patrick featured on] Eternal Summer Everybody Wants Somebody* Explode* Fake Out Fame Less than Infamy Favorite Record Fellowship of the Nerd [this is an alternate title for world's not waiting, as far as i can tell] Flu Game Flu Game [yes flu game is listed twice for some reason] Footprints in the Snow [demo from the Llamania ep] Fourth of July From Now on We Are Enemies G.I.N.A.S.F.S. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid) Golden Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy Greed* Grenade Jumper Grow Up and Be Kids [this song is on The Cab's sophomore album Symphony Soldier, which release after they left decaydance. nonetheless, pete does have some writing credits on it. give it a listen and you'll hear for yourself in the first 10 seconds or so] Growing Up Hand Crushed by a Mallet [this is a remix of the 100gecs song of the same name; patrick did some vocals for it] Hand of God Have I Got a Gift for You* [song patrick did for the horror movie black friday] Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet Heartbreak Feels So Good Heaven's Gate Heaven, Iowa Hold Me Like a Grudge Hold Me Tight or Don't Homesick at Space Camp Honorable Mention Hot to the Touch, Cold on the Inside Hum Hallelujah I Am My Own Muse I Don't Care

I Got Nothing, But You Got Something [this is the one that really perplexes me. there's no evidence of this song actually existing, other than an unverified genius post and an article on a single fandom wiki. it is inexplicably listed here despite its very existence being questionable at best.]

I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) I've Been Waiting [this is technically a lil peep song with fall out boy as a feature] I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers Immortals Irresistible It's Hard to Say 'I Do', When I Don't It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Am Thinking It Must Be Love Jet Pack Blues Just One Yesterday Lake Effect Kid (song) Lake Shore Drive [this is a song patrick covered on the piano at wrigley, first night of tourdust] Love from the Other Side Love Will Tear Us Apart Love, Selfish Love* Love, Sex, Death Lullabye Mad at Nothing* Miss Missing You Moving Pictures My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up) New Dreams [this is a bonus track on pax am days, a naked rayguns cover] Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner Novocaine Of All the Gin Joints in All the World One of Those Nights [another song from the cab's whisper war. this one has patrick doing vocals very prominently] Open Happiness [this was a huge collaborative piece done for a coca cola commercial. patrick was on it along with big names like cee lo green, janelle monae, and labelmates travie mccoy and brendon urie] Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued Parker Lewis Can't Lose (But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot) Past Life [llamania ep] Pavlove People Never Done a Good Thing* Porcelain* Pretty in Punk Rat a Tat Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over Roxanne Run Dry (X Heart X Fingers)* San Diego [this is a blink-182 song that patrick did some writing for] Saturday Saturday Night Again* Save Rock and Roll (song) Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) She's My Winona Short, Fast, and Loud Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers So Good Right Now So Much (For) Stardust (song) So Sick [this is a song patrick has exclusively covered live, so it's a fascinating inclusion] Sober [another blink-182 song patrick did some writing for] Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year Star 67 Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea Sugar, We're Goin Down Summer Days (song) [this is a martin garrix song patrick lent some vocals to] Sunshine Riptide Super Fade Switchblades and Infidelity Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today The "I" In Lie* The (After) Life of the Party The (Shipped) Gold Standard The Carpal Tunnel of Love The Kids Aren't Alright The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years) The Last of the Real Ones The Mighty Fall The Music or the Misery The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes The Phoenix The Pink Seashell The Pros and Cons of Breathing The Take Over, the Breaks Over The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys in a Broken Down Van) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race This City* Thnks fr th Mmrs (song) [for some reason the site specifies song here, despite that not being necessary. the only other times this distinction is relevant is when songs share a title with their albums, i.e. save rock and roll] Thriller Tiffany Blews Twin Skeleton's (Hotel in NYC) Uma Thurman Untitled 1 (Colorado Song) Untitled 2 (Jakus Song) [both of these are recently released tttyg era demos] W.A.M.S. We Didn't Start the Fire We Don’t Take Hits, We Write Them [this is a song that famously was only ever performed live. we don't have a studio recording or even a demo, as only live versions exist] We Were Doomed from the Start (The King is Dead) West Coast Smoker What a Catch, Donnie What a Time To Be Alive What's This? When I Made You Cry* Where Did the Party Go Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) Wrong Side of Paradise [llamania ep] XO You're Crashing, But You're No Wave Young and Menace Young Volcanoes Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

in conclusion i have no idea who compiled this list. it doesn't include every song patrick and pete have ever touched (notice the lack of gym class heroes, cobra starship, and hush sound discography) but it has a really weird selection of songs. i mean, blink songs patrick wrote on?? its bizarre.

anyway do you think if we mass request swing me by the rafters they'll have to do it

[doobean]

AN EASY A - NAGI SEISHIRO

synopsis: There's a problem student in your class and he just can't seem to understand that he needs to put in the effort. You've already given him three chances to make up his assignments - all of which he ignored. But what happens when he suggests another alternative during office hours?

contents: explicit content, afab!fem!reader, age gap (he's 22 and reader is 27), student-teacher (duh), reader kind of a tough professor lol, also a bully too ig, sex in teacher's office, masturbation (reader), power imbalance, nonconsensual video recording, vaginal sex, unprotected, creampie, breast/nipple play, dom?reader, switch!nagi, cunninglingus, cumming on face and inside, degradation, name calling (brat x 2, good boy x 1), nagi having a big dick, happy ending :) word count: 3.7K a/n: part 3 of my kinktober event :3 SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG LIFE TOOK OVER BUT I HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR THE LOST TIME ;; I WILL MAKE THE LAST KINKTOBER FIC EXTRA SPICY TOO DONT WORRY FAM - also im super proud of myself for literally scraping the draft and rewrote this within a span of two days?? like wow the pressure is on.

There are some habits that never seem to change — even with age. You’ve seen it all, experienced it too, from emailing your teachers last minute about having to make up an exam worth over half of your course grade to faking a family death in order to get an extension, or — and this is more for students who are a bit too ‘brave’ — blaming the teachers for their inability to do their jobs. You knew what you would be getting into when you went into this job, from having to do the last minute panic pleas to now being on the receiving end of it. And you now actually feel sorry for having to bombard your past professors like that.

You release a deep breath from your nose and flick the red gel pen across a student’s exam, circling the large failing number by their name. “I’ll see you next year.” You try to sound less harsh, more on the sympathetic side, since you’re relatively still within the same age group as some of these students, but who wants to hear that? That they have to repeat a course and be stuck a graduation year behind? Absolutely no one.

You want to look away as you hand the student back his exam scores because you just know it’s going to end with tears and meaningless pleas but that would be unprofessional on your end. Instead, you give the student a small smile and a couple of pieces of candy from the glass bowl next to you. 

“Sorry if it’s not much but it’s better than nothing?” God, you need to work on your pep talk. These students are basically adults, not elementary school kids.

“A-Are you sure I can’t do anything else to boost my grade?” The student starts to whimper and you have to tense your whole body from cringing at their quivering voice. 

Ugh, it’s useless. Why bother begging if they haven’t bothered to study the material?

Still, you manage to whip up an emphatic frown and shake your head, voice sounding more motherly. “I’m sure it’ll be easier for you to understand next time.”

Another whine and then a final huff before the student storms out of your office. By the time the door shuts and their wails are out of ear shot, you slump back into your chair and groan loudly into your palms. Your body aches from being at your desk all day long — your mind is doing no better, having to deal with students’ cries and unwarranted trauma dumping. Seriously, when are they going to pay teachers more to deal with this type of stuff?

On the bright side of things, your office hours are officially over. Final grades will be up by tonight and you’ve completed most of your tasks with all but one student being a constant no show for the eternity of the semester but that responsibility doesn’t fall onto you. He and the handful of others can just show up again next year. 

You spend some time debating your options, eating a nice, warm bowl of noodles sounds good for now but… you did spend nearly eight hours cooped up in your office and you are feeling a bit high energy right now, so stress relieving might be a good answer first.  

“Now, where did I put that thing?” You reach down your desk, pulling up your purse and rummage through it looking for a very specific purple ‘massager’. 

It’s super rare for you to ‘release’ stress while on campus grounds, this might be one of the few times, with others following the same patterns, but you feel the utter need to reward yourself after today’s events. It’ll only take you maybe ten minutes max, afterwards it’s dinner and then a quiet train ride home. Plus, not like you have a partner who can do this for you — you barely have time to take care of yourself, let alone be in a relationship or commit yourself to a random hook up. Sometimes, it’s just better to handle the situation yourself since it is your body.

A breathy sigh leaves your lips as you place the vibrating head against the soft cotton fabric of your panties, already soaked through by just the thought of de-stressing yourself. You throw your head back, with one hand steady with the magic wand and the other traveling up to your blouse, unbuttoning the top and allowing your black bra to be exposed in the room. As you increase the pressure from the vibrations, your free hand spills your breasts from its cups, your thumbs and digits immediately running over the sensitive nubs and plush flesh of your chest as you start to chase your high.

“M-Mhm—! Right there…” You roll your head to the side and shut your eyes, imagination fleeting to the thoughts of a male seated in between your legs, his tongue desperate and latching to your overwhelmed clit and folds while your thighs keep his shoulders in place. 

You think it’s so unfair that your other friends have already settled down with partners of their own. When holidays come around the corner, when you finally catch a break from all the whining and fake wolf cries, you just have to hear your friends gush about how romantic their partners are to them. You secretly hate winter because of it. All those talks about Christmas gifts, their New Year’s couples resolutions, their stupid fancy ski trips that cost close to thousands of dollars, and then top it off for Valentine’s Day. Summer is more bearable, only because of the lack of romantic holidays, but you still get bitter from seeing their beach photos and international trips.

You change the position of your magic wand, facing it closer and pressing it harder down your clit, nearly drawing blood from your lips as you suppress back a frantic moan — a moan that’s a mix of both pleasure and frustration. 

Fuck the students. Fuck your friends. And fuck this job.

“H-Haah—! Oh my god…” Your hips buckle feverishly, body quaking in your seat as you start to feel a familiar coil tightening in your stomach and a rush down below. A build up of tears start pooling at the corners of your eyes as your vision starts to grow hazy. Your heart heaves forward, about to burst out of your chest, the imaginary man just about to finish you off—

Creak.

Your eyes immediately pop open and the color drains from your face at the squealing sound from the door. You don’t have enough time to cover yourself up when you realize that a student is standing by the entrance, wearing an equally shocked expression on his face. A tousle of white shaggy hair, large gray eyes, appearing at a staggering height with—your gaze trail to his hands and nearly faint from the sight—his phone.

The sound of the door creaking again snaps you out of the phase and your arms fly over your chest, the words stuck in your throat and your vibrator falling to the floor. 

Shit, what should you ask first? Has he been recording you this whole time? When did he even show up? You’re positive that you were the only one left in the academic building, so what is going on?

“Um,” The male has the audacity to walk in the room, his gaze fixated on everything but you. “Are office hours still open?”

What. The. Fuck.

You blink once, twice, and, when the student is still standing there, confirming your thoughts that he isn’t an awful mirage sent down by the Lord himself, you feel yourself internally shrinking.

“I-Is that the first thing you want to ask me?” You stifle back a laugh, or at least you think it’s a laugh. Maybe even a few waterworks for later. “Just who are you?”

But then it hits you. The black and blue duffle bag he has by his side had his name engraved on it. You don’t need to take a closer to recognize the national team’s logo and you certainly don’t need a Google search to realize that Nagi fucking Seishiro, a soccer prodigy and your apparent student for the semester, might’ve just recorded you masturbating in your office.

You manage to find an old jacket from one of the drawers at your desk and throw it on before pointing a harsh finger at the man. “Delete it, now.”

“Will I get an A?” Nagi is surprisingly blunt and, now looking back, this might honestly be the first time you’ve ever talked to him out of the whole semester. He seems to catch your perplexed look, shooting you a pair of creased brows back as he explains, “All of my other courses were remote because of training and football games… You were the only professor that denied it.”

You huff, seemingly annoyed that he thinks he can be an exception to your course rules. “I don’t hand out favoritism to just anyone and,” You glare at the phone in his hand, sneering right back at his uncaring facial expression. “I’m definitely not going to pass you if you’re threatening to black mail me.”

“Maybe we can help each other out?” Nagi offers, maybe a bit too fast and too eager. 

You cautiously sink back in your seat, eyes narrowing at his suggestion. “What are you implying, Nagi?” The male shuffles awkwardly in place and your gaze flicks down, eyes widening for the nth time today and an audible gasp slips out. “You can’t be serious.”

“I need to pass and you—” Nagi clears his throat and motions to your slick covered vibrator, which is still very much on and buzzing away on the wooden floor boards near his feet. “You didn’t finish.” He rakes his fingers through his hair and adjusts the semi-hard length through his sweats with his other before finishing his offer. “I’ll delete the video, help you, and you’ll give me an A?” Nagi lamely suggests. 

You want to scream, dig yourself a ditch large enough to fit you and the rest of however much pride you had left, and wither away. You’ve had students coming to you with plenty of other excuses, much more tamed than whatever situation you’ve found yourself in. And, regardless how much shitty this actually is, it doesn’t get rid of the fact that: one — you’re still sexually frustrated from having your orgasm ruined by this oversized, lazy fucker, two — you literally just got this job a year ago and getting fired for masturbating on campus might not look so great on your record, and three — if Nagi is true to his words, maybe you both can just forget about it the next day.

“You don’t get the control, I do.” You rise from your seat, allowing the jacket to fall from your frame. Your gaze hardens on the male subject in front of you as you bend down to reach for your toy, turning it off and putting it away in a nearby drawer that’s most likely filled with other student’s graded assignments. 

Whatever, they’ll probably cry more fluids on it when they get their results back anyway.

Nagi tenses when you reach over to touch his arms, feeling up his toned biceps and rest of his upper body underneath the black hoodie, and he doesn’t dare to move unless you tell him to. You let out a scoff, feeling satisfied that he’s already willing to compromise so quickly under short notice. With a light tug on his sleeve, you drag him closer to your desk and settle yourself on top of it. You hike up your pencil skirt to your upper thighs and spread your legs wide enough for the width of his shoulders.

“On your knees, brat.”

He silently obliges, bending down on one knee and his hands find home on your inner thighs. You resist the urge to squirm under his touch, still feeling rather sensitive from your earlier chase and not wanting to give him any ounce of satisfaction. Without any audible exchanges, he allows you to direct his head closer to the heat of your sex, the combination of your increasing wetness and the hot puffs from his breath makes your stomach twist in anticipation.

With a quick swipe, his fingers brush aside your panties to the crease of your thighs and lean in, giving a few experimental licks to your slicked cover folds before burying the rest of his face in. Your reaction is instant. Your fingers claw their way deep into his shoulder blades, thighs threatening to squeeze the living life out of him, but Nagi’s grip is even more threatening. He stays rigid, palms glued to your thighs and keeping them in place as his tongue flicks against the stiff nub — drawing lazy circles.

Your mouth betrays your character as he suddenly decides to insert two digits, scissoring their way into your velvety walls. Nagi grunts in response at just how lewd you sound right now. 

“Soaking wet…” He observes with careful eyes at your sex before looking up, a playful smirk flashes across his face when he notices the flush in your cheeks. With another twirl from his fingers, combined with the slow swirls from his tongue, your head rolls back as the torrent seems to be relentless.

With the next extra pumps, you cum hard with a shudder, vicing your thighs against his head.  You can feel the leak of fluids slide out of your folds, and Nagi pushes his face inward, making sure he slid his tongue against that sweet spot of yours again. It blinds you with a final surge of pleasure, and you cry out as your orgasm shakes you to the core, nails biting into his shoulders.

You’ve never experienced an orgasm that intense before, even with the usage of your vibrator — hell, you can’t even remember when’s the last time a man has made you reach that high. Bright colors cloud your vision as you tumble through what seems like an endless bliss. Your body goes slack, back now flushed against the office desk, but Nagi’s body is still tense, his muscles twitching as he gets to his feet and lifts your legs off his shoulders.

“Hey,” Nagi slurs, wiping away your slick with the back of his hand.  “We’re not done here.”

“W-What are you talking about—ah!”

Your vision is just beginning to clear up when you find yourself trapped between Nagi’s arms. He’s hovering above you, a certain dark look casts over his gray hues as he bores into your own. You swallow hard, heart beating faster when you look down to see his sweats already laid around his thighs and his cock springs free, head spilling with heavy amounts of pre. Nagi’s length twitches at the sounds of your moans and the male takes that as a sign of approval.

“What?” He leans forward, his bangs brushing against your forehead. “You’ve never seen a penis before?”

“Don’t get smart with me, brat.” You spit back, immediately tearing your gaze away from his rather impressive size. Might be the biggest you’ve ever seen in person outside from those awful porn videos online.

If you can find the energy to, you might’ve laughed at his lame attempt to have the upper hand, but Nagi doesn’t waste his time. He closes the distance, smashing his lips against yours, tongue already dragging its way down your throat. You choke back but recover quickly, hands flying to his locks, grabbing fistfuls, and rocking your hips against his hardened appendage. A sinful groan slips from his lips and lifts one of your thighs up, your ankle resting on his shoulder while he wraps the other around his waist. 

You part your lips when he breaks away from the kiss, a thin trail of saliva connecting you two, and a whine spills from you as Nagi begins sliding his cock in between your folds. He sucks in his teeth, breath hitching sharply at the sight. 

“Wanna put it in so bad—” He shudders seeing your slick engulfing his length. “Can I—Can I please put it in?” His monotone voice now replaced with a shaky resolve, almost as if he’s seeking for your next stage of approval and pleasure. 

You reach up and cup his cheeks in your hands, eyes softening at his glassy ones. “Promise to delete that video and you might get a chance, Nagi.”

“Sei,��� The male breathes out.

You tilt your head. “Huh?”

Nagi leans into your touch, nuzzling his cheeks into your palms. “Want you to call me Sei… Can you do that?”

“Sei…” You whisper out, suppressing back a laugh when you see the towering male tensing at the sound of his name. The twitching from his cock brushes against your clit making you squirm. “Sei, make me cum around that cock of yours.”

A cry escapes from the both of you when he slides in, inching bit by bit and holding your waist with both hands as leverage. You can’t do anything but throw your head back, sounds leaving your hoarse throat at the sheer size from him.  Your hands can only reach his thighs, nails leaving their crescent marks on his skin as Nagi bottoms out inside of you with a long, agonizing stroke. Nagi takes his time, building a slow but steady rhythm, staring down at you with intense gray eyes and making sure the thickness of his cock stretches your walls as he continues. You suddenly feel grateful that you came earlier, the extra slick and foreplay made the insertion easier because you’re certain without it there’s no guarantee that you would’ve been able to handle this mind numbing fucking.

After a few more experimental strokes, Nagi finds a comfortable pace. You’re now starting to get used to him and it feels so, so good that you’re finding everything in your power to spread your legs as far open as they would go. Sensing your struggle, Nagi lifts one hand to push your thigh back even further, and you let out a yelp, whining when you feel him brushing against that sweet spot inside of you again.

A warm rushing sensation starts building in your stomach again and you feel as if you’re about to jump off a cliff. Your walls clamp down around his cock, wails starting to bounce off the walls and legs shaking without any means of control. You’re absolutely floored by the way Nagi’s able to make your body react this much under his touch. It’s only your first time having sex, yet it feels like he’d been making love with you for a lifetime. 

Your eyes fly shut as the feeling of his callous thumbs make their way onto your swollen clit, rubbing and tapping away. Flames are riding your nerves, you can’t hold back any sort of resistance in your voice as he picks up the pace, hips slamming into yours and sounds of sex filling the air. Nagi moves swiftly and punishingly, holding your hips still and not allowing you any room to move around as his cock tears against that spot that had tears finally spilling down your flushed face.

“Sei,” You choke out a sob, throwing a hand over your mouth to try and suppress some of the noise. Though, you and him both know it’s a futile effort.

The build up of pleasure is so binding that you’re beginning to lose sense of time and place, feeling only the desperate and feral thrusts from your student. Your second orgasm fades slowly, leaving you in a pool of ecstasy, but that doesn’t stop Nagi. 

Still hard and pumping, his grip on your hips only tighten and he grunts out a lustful moan. “Feels good, right? Cumming all over me?”

You look up to him, tears of pleasure disorienting your vision, and in a state where you’re too incoherent to speak — pleading only with your doe eyes.

Nagi understood immediately. He slows down his pace, leaning forward, making sure the head of his cock kisses the inside of your cervix before bending down to place one on your own gaping lips.

“Such a good boy, aren’t you?” You manage out.

He groans at the pet name and peppers your face and neck with wet kisses, lifting your leg with one hand so that he can slowly stroke back and forth inside.

One of your hands reaches for your chest, fondling and toying with your nipples while your other hand reaches for the back of his head, gripping his white locks and pulling him down for another feverish kiss. Your lips remain sealed and pressed together in a battle of tongues as he rocks inside of you, sending you yet another orgasm as he moans into your mouth. 

“H-Haah—I’m close…” His hips buck wildly. “Gonna cum inside of this pretty pussy…”

Nagi finally comes undone inside of you, his whole body shuddering as coats of white paint the insides of your velvety walls. A heavy pant from him catches your ears as he pulls out slowly, eyes admiring the hot, white trail that travels down your thighs and onto your desk. 

By now, you can barely keep your eyes open, both mind and body exhausted. You try to get up, only to find zero strength left in your limbs, but soon you feel a pair of toned biceps around your waist and Nagi pulls you into his firm, yet comforting chest. 

You want to ask him something again, something regarding that video he took of you earlier, but you’re beginning to lose your train of thought as exhaustion creeps up. Your entire body aches and your pussy is still emptying his remaining orgasm. But, strangely enough, you find yourself not caring about it anymore. 

A smile makes its way onto your features as you drift off to sleep, making you miss the fact that Nagi did delete the video shortly after and scribble a quick note next to your purse. It’ll be another hour before you have the chance to read it.

‘Don’t forget that A. XXX-XXX-0506 - Sei.’

© 2023 DOOBEAN. do not copy any of my writing and translate/repost.

KINKTOBER TAGLIST (PART III)

@milkistoshi @mareonyan @saenora @blissblossom @wowonamo

[aestherin]

PRIVACY

so won't you come and be my lover?

— a kamisato ayato x f!reader smau — also celebrity au — status: completed

SUMMARY — a new year means new beginnings. with your resolution being 'to live a more peaceful life', the start of your year could not go any more wrong when you get involved in a dating scandal with renowned actor kamisato ayato. denying it is easy, but not when the other party gives the completely opposite response.

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆.

[name]'s : official | personal ayato's : official | personal

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐒.

00: happy new year 01: aether's fault 02: don't leave me on read 03: promise 04: the best part 05: i lied 06: friendship ended 07: respect [name] 08: kiss scene 09: you're my bf 10: ayato hate page | 10.5 (extra): ayadog 11: are you my heart? 12: clean it up 13: all mine 14: i won the lottery 15: gladly, ma'am 16: romance drama 17: sour and salty 18: your place or mine? 19: idea of luxury | 19.5 (extra): no shame 20: airing live

21: i come with free cuddles 22: you have a priv? 23: you >>> everybody else 24: girlfriend privileges 25: #HappyAyaYnDay 26: let's go out 27: i always had a feeling 28: punch your irrelevant selves 29: please go away 30: happiness is a butterfly 31: champagne problems 32: i will gladly break my heart for you 33: truly, madly, deeply 34: one mistake 35: sincerely, [name]'s lover

36: i beg of you 37: it's all yours | 37.5 (extra): i'm connecting the dots 38: daylight 39: kiss them away 40: i am revived 41: karma era 42: my mother did not raise a quitter | 42.5: only my beloved could 43: yes you are 44: i still get jealous 45: they aren't you 46: to the girl i've loved before | 46.5: hahaha 47: farewell, moots 48: you look better with me 49: now i wake up by your side 50: last laugh

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒

idk what im doing

will contain swearing

mistakes such as grammatical and typographical errors may be committed (eng is not my first language pls bear with me :"D)

updates might be inconsistent

taglist is now closed :>

[fullsunstrawberry]

Synopsis: When all your friends are busy being adults, what do you do? Well Haechan thinks scrolling on reddit, looking for a job, makes him an adult…What happens when someone special forces him to start adulting.

pairing: Haechan x reader

genre: social media au, right out of college, single mother au (with twist), strangers to lovers, angst, fluff,

warning: swearing, mentions of death, mentions of family trauma, grammar issues

status: complete

ended: 7/10/23

──• ───◌┈┈───♡⃝───┈┈◌───•──

[intro: Y/n’s Friends]

[intro: Haechan’s Friends]

[part 1: Uncle Markie]

[part 2: We are not friends]

[part 3: Proof I have a lot of friends]

[part 4: maybe another day]

{part 5: the betrayal}

[part 6: don’t even tell him her name]

{part 7: ugh why is he so cute}

[part 8: i wish i was there rn]

[part 9: i technically don’t know you]

[part 10: wait facetime?] **suggestive 

[part 11: im screwed…]

[part 12: okay, i’m going to man up and do it😤]

[part 13: Perfect Night ]

[part 14: we need details]

[part 15: got all fancy for nothing :( ]

[part 16: you free to facetime?]

[part 17: we were so close but yet so far ]

[Part 18: well who cares anymore]

[Part 19: oh 😍]

[part 20: you’re like a real man]

[part 21: what yumi wants…yumi gets]

[part 22: the plan]

[part 23: What is going on???]

[part 24: IT WAS GONNA BE A DATE]

[part 25: it’s official]

[part 26: gotta protect my girls}

[part 27: my girls]

[part 28: we really need to talk]

[part 29: come out the bathroom]

[part 30: you got this ! ]

[part 31: but chenle’s rich]

[part 32: BATHROOM NOW]

[part 33: you are an adult]

[part 34: it’s settled… MOVIES]

[part 35: umm so i caught the bouquet…]

[part 36 :fuck fuck fuck fuck]

[part 37: read the room]

[part 38: imma do it]

[part 39: she said yes]

[part 40: finally got my fairytale ending]

[our-transmasculine-experience]

ill have officially been on T for 5 years come early winter 🎉 looking back at all my "first time"s coming out (age 12+13, got kicked out for 2, then 9 days. age 17+18, got thrown in jail for a month each. age 19+20, got ignored and correctively abused)

i never could have conceived being this happy and living how *I* want to, in a state where queers have ironclad protections encoded in law. sure, i went through some genuinely captial F fucked up shit, bein on my own (as an obvious fagdyke) on the streets in the Deep South since early 17. but im 27 now and fucking loving life🥹 and i actually like who i am now!! i have a comfortable little apartment, a nice job, with my 2 wonderful cats, and surrounded by friends who think my being trans/queer/2 spirit is the *least* interesting thing about me(most are queer themselves lol but ykwim). i dont totally recognize the person in the mirror yet (i have a full ass beard yall🤦🏽 still weird to need to shave every day) 💜but we all take different journeys, and at our pace

you hear that baby gays? it *does* get better. the part people rarely want to acknowledge though, is how much work it is to make it better for yourself. its SO worth it. period point blank. YOU ARE WORTH THE WORK. do every queer a favor, and start surviving in spite of them. start thriving and living and succeeding and growing and LOVING for yourself, and if thats too overwhelming. do it cuz fuck em🤘🏼and cuz i love you💕

also, wear condoms EVERY TIME with EVERY SEX ACT and EVERY CONFIGURATION of genitals 😭 there's a condom or equivalent for each variation of bits

holy shit. thank you for this. this is incredible.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for breaking things off with a long distance FWB before their visit? (nsfwish)

i (x,27) have been chatting on and off with an online friend for maybe five or six months with M (x,23). we met in an nsfw online community so our relationship was pretty flirty right from the jump and quickly became sexual, though because of the sizeable distance between us, it was always restricted to online. when things first started we talked a lot more frequently, sometimes in a flirty way and sometimes in just a casual friend way, but over time our relationship cooled. i started seeing someone irl (they know about M and vice versa ofc) but around that same time that we sorta made things official, M started talking about coming to visit, which made me wonder if they werent as okay with this new relationship as they said. we'd discussed very loosely the idea of seeing one another irl before, but suddenly those plans started becoming very real and i started to worry. i didnt and honestly dont know how i feel about it anymore. the idea of meeting them in person is still kinda exciting, as theyre a friend and i would like to get to hang out with them, but i wonder now if theyve noticed the dynamic between us has changed a lot since we first started talking, moreso since i have a partner i devote a greater share of my time to, and i worry theyre expecting something from me that im not sure i can give them anymore. i want to talk to them about it but im uncertain for a number of reasons. first, when we started making plans they immediately pitched the idea of a week long visit, which i thought was too long for a first irl meeting and negotiated them down a little. they seemed to understand but also seemed disappointed which sort of fanned the flames of my anxieties about our interests being out of sync. second, due to me living in a small apartment with a roommate, theyd probably be sharing a bed with me, something ive done with friends before and am generally fine with but again, several days, possible mismatched perceptions of our relationship, idk. if we do have this talk, i think i might have to kill our plans altogether.

i do still want to be friends if possible. we run in similar circles, including a shared discord server, and id hate to make things awkward in the group, but it seems to me like, things being how they are right now, this meet up may end in heartbreak, which would then also lead to them being stuck far from home with the person who shot them down :/ how can i give them the "lets just be friends" talk before our meet up (currently planned to be sometime in a few months, so theres at least some time) without being a total asshole?

[vinecradle]

ditto - do you want somebody, like i want somebody?

pairing :: kazuha x gn!reader

summary :: a cosplay event at the mall was announced, you were waiting for this moment!! taking lots of pictures with people, but then you saw someone who cosplayed your character's partner.. and his friend asked you both to take a picture together and it goes viral on social media- and now you're faced with the cosplayer's twitter handle..

genre :: college au (reader & kazuha are in their first year), modern au, social media au, strangers to friends to fake lovers to lovers, playfully flirty x cant handle it trope, and also she fell first he fell harder trope, mutual pining, sets place after the scaramouche smau ends

warnings :: little angst, loneliness, alcohol mentions, reader is pretty touch starved, honestly not that many problems most of it is fluffy 🫶🏻

status :: on hold until i finish my scaramouche smau!

official playlist :: is linked here!

notes :: published 23 feb 2023, taglist is open! either send an ask/comment preferably so i could keep track easier and also please specific if you'd like to be in this taglist only or my permanent taglist

profiles :: ice ice baby | still a dottore hate club

teaser :: is linked here !

ACT I - music is what feelings sound like.

01. a cosplay event!!

02. character.. hunting?

03. 200 playlists

04. cosplay found!

05. cosplay received.

06. a sudden project (✿)

07. why is there a random kid

08. it's nearly time!!

ACT II - i lost myself, but you found me.

09. the cosplay event (✿)

10. post-cosplay

11. wait- im trending?

12. reporters (✿)

13. his twitter

14. bro's mesmerizing

15. this mess

16. he's actually fun to talk to

ACT III - i told the stars about you.

17. just a friendly hangout..! (✿)

18. stayed on the low

19. a priv notification

20. loveliest couple award! (✿)

21. a different cosplay?

22. when will i experience

23. she fell first he fell harder?

ACT III - cause you're so lovely

24. you are out of this world

25. second friendly hangout.. yes! (✿)

26. anything but friendly

27. him, in my dreams

28. talk (✿)

29. let's keep it a secret

30. the new event (✿)

31. we're on the news!!

ACT IIII - hm? he said it, "ditto"

32. you make me feel safe (✿)

33. a playlist for you

34. guitarist x violinist

35. my home

-> bonus! my love, my love (✿)

[thedoctorisgroovy]

Schooled

» Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

» Word count: 998

» Warnings: use of y/n, S3-5 Spencer, reader has just started at the BAU, mention of bullying, fluff, establishing relationship, awkward Spencer, use of the word sh**ty, mention of gunshot wound, gn reader, they/them pronouns, slightly non canon character behaviours

» A/N: so Im 27 and i've never written a fic before! I had a dream the other night that I was gonna turn into a one shot but realised I needed way more backstory to get to the dream scene so this is gonna be multiple chapters! Reader should be GN, if not I apologise! Also I have no clue about how law enforcement works so all references to the FBI, statistics etc are all made up. Any feedback is welcome but please try to be kind/constructive!

CHAPTER 1:

Your job with the BAU took you all over the country; mountain ranges, the desert, small towns, big cities, and if you were lucky, even the beach, which may sound slightly psychopathic considering you solve homicides and kidnappings for a living. You never thought it would take you back to your old high school however. The FBI had been called in to your home-town to help solve a string of disappearances/kidnappings that seemed to be connected to the school. It started off as one or two kids not showing up for class, but had now escalated into 6 official missing students. Local police were struggling to determine whether the unsub was a teacher or student, and in a population of 35,000, they called in the BAU to put together a more accurate profile of who they were looking for.

After moving away at the ripe age of 18 to get your bachelor’s degree at a university far away, you had no intention of ever returning to your shitty town. School wasn’t too hard, you got good grades and had a few solid friends but still fell victim to the small town bullying and mentality that you’ve spent the last few years getting over in therapy. Attending the academy straight after graduating helped to keep you busy and away too - much to your mother’s protests - but you knew your goal in life. Joining the FBI and then eventually the BAU was your best shot at never returning, and while your one track mind kept you focused, it unfortunately lead to this case.

On the plus side, it also lead you to the best group of friends - who were your family, lets face it - and boyfriend you could ask for. Dr Spencer Reid was the first member of the team that you were introduced to by Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner on your first day. As he’s your age and at the time, a little awkward, Hotch thought you’d be least intimidated joining the team by meeting him first.

Hotch told you that he was a genius and had a tendency to ramble trivia at people, which intrigued you. You’d never met a 26 year old genius before. As he lead you down the ramp and across the bullpen, you noted 2 women; a blonde girl with quirky clothes and a big grin and a brunette with big eyes and a bright red tank top. You felt their eyes follow you and SSA Hotchner across the room as he lead you to wonder boy’s desk. He had his head buried in a file; legs bunched together on his seat,  a pen tapping against his lips absentmindedly, his face obscured slightly by the hair falling across his cheeks and forehead.  You reached his desk and Hotch cleared his throat slightly. When he didn’t react, Hotch finally spoke up.

“Dr Reid, this is Special Agent Y/F/N, Y/L/N.” Hotch said in a firm but polite tone. Spencer flinched when Hotch spoke, his voice snapping him out of whatever work induced rabbit hole his brain was stuck in. In an instant, his legs were now back onto the floor, whipped his head up and pushed his glasses up onto his head. Spencer leaned over his desk and extended his hand, to shake yours. He gave you a big smile which you remember looked genuine and sweet at the time.

“Hi, I’m Dr Reid… Or Spencer, just call me Spencer, Dr sounds prententious. I mostly just say it to sound smart but I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.” As he started rambling, you couldn’t help but stare. Now that his face wasn’t covered by his hair, you noticed how pretty he was. His light, soft brown eyes scanned your face while you accidentally stared into them. There was a kindness there that you felt drawn to and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself at his strong jawline.

“Agent Y/L/N?” Spencer questioned softly, his smile dropping to a face of mild concern. You looked down and realised his hand was still extended waiting for you to shake it. Mortified that you’d been staring at this poor man’s face, you blushed and quickly stuck your hand out to reciprocate the greeting.

“Nice to meet you!” You tried to muster in your cheeriest polite voice, hiding your embarrassment as best you could. His smile grew again, cheeks turning ever so slightly salmon colored.

“Reid, I’m leaving Agent Y/L/N in your care. Can you please introduce them to the rest of the team before the debrief? JJ’s waiting for us in the briefing room but I’ve told her to wait 5 minutes for introductions.” With that, Hotch left and you stood semi awkwardly at Reid’s desk unsure whether to initiate conversation or wait for him to take the lead. Thankfully he did.

“As the idiom says ‘there’s no time like the present’” Spencer quipped, standing up and placing his case file onto the desk. He gestured to follow him as he lead you to the two women who you could tell were gossiping quite frankly.

Since then, you’d been inseparable. The whole team noticed how fond you were of each other; 6 months of choosing to pair up on missions, sleeping next to each other on the jet, filing paperwork until the early hours alone in the office. Eventually, Garcia - your loveable bubbly tech analyst best friend - forced you to go on an official date - much to your fake protestations - and that night, you decided to make it official. The “I love you’s” came after a particularly dangerous case where you got shot in the field. The good doctor refused to leave your side from the minute you were injured until you got into the hospital bed. After surgery to remove the bullet, he laid on your recovery bed with you and whispered that he loved you and you whispered back before you both drifted off to sleep.

taglist: @gghostwriter @inlovewithelliewilliams @the-quackson-brothers @lonelymuffin @lobstertalk @primrosesposts

[assassinschaoticcreed]

so um, how did everyone become friends?

so im gonna start off saying that these are the ages I HC the boys are modern time, per my noggin.

Desmond: 22

Ezio & Arno: 23

Connor: 24

Altaïr & Jacob (& Evie): 25

Edward: 27

don't ask me why, but its just my brain rot.

Ezio's family adopted Desmond into their family after he left the farm; so their relationship is like brothers (obviously) (Desmond was 16, Ezio was 17)

Arno met Ezio & Desmond through one of his mom's fashion show; Maria & Claudia are huge fans of her work and managed to snag tickets to one of her shows (those runway things). Maria and Marie (Arnos mom) talked about their sons and Marie was like "hey let's all get together over some nice wine, my husband owns a winery" cue Ezio, Desmond & Arno meeting. ironically when they first met Arno & Ezio couldn't stand each other because of how much alike they acted, Desmond was the peace maker. over time though Arno, Ezio and Desmond became inseparable. (Ezio & Arno were 20, Desmond was 19)

Edward and Connor met through Haytham, in my noggin Edward & Connor are actually cousins but there is a 3 year difference between the two. they also have a sibling like relationship due to Edward also not liking Haytham. (Ziio is alive and her and Haytham married, they are happy, although it was rocky before they officially married and Connor was 5 years old when they married.) Connor doesn't get along with Haytham not only cause of the Templar thing, but also Charles Lee & the other Templars judge Haytham for being with Ziio and Connor being his son. they belittled Connor hence his hatred for them, Haytham behind the scenes though threatened them to stop or else..

Edward, Jacob (and Connor) met Jacob this way; they met during a mission they were sent on. they had to meet Jacob at a pub to listen to a Templar meeting and after they got their info they all sat and had drinks and a meal (Connor didn't drink any alcohol, only Ed & Jacob). they all got along great, although Connor did NOT appreciate having to carry both the drunkards back to the hotel, and he just dumped the two of them on the bed and went to sleep in his.

Altaïr met Ezio, Desmond and Arno at one of the Creeda HQ centers. he was just transferred to their branch, and he was a complete dick. Arno had no hesitation and lit into Altaïr for his behavior and had one of those "catch me outside how bout that" Altaïr ACTUALLY had respect for Arno for standing up to him let alone make a threat. they became good acquaintances, that developed into a great friendship (he does wish to throw hands sometimes if Arno becomes too sassy). Altaïr was Top Annoyed with Ezio when first meeting him. *looks to Arno and points at Ezio* "does...does this thing ever shut the hell up?" cue Ezio *LE GASP* "ME? A THING? bastardo! how dare--" and Desmond pipes in "let's all just calm down and talk, yes?" they all sit down, Desmond & Ezio introduced themselves. Altaïr likes Desmond too, Ezio is a 50/50, he wanted to punch him in the face but he didn't hate him. they're now great friends too. (Altaïr: 23, Ezio & Arno: 21, Desmond 20)

Arno, Ezio, Desmond & Connor met at Arnos Cafe (the one he was gifted from his parents on his 20th birthday) Ziio recommended the Cafe for its bakery sweets and rich flavorful coffee, they also have great hot chocolate. (Connor got the hot chocolate and some macaroons) Desmond was the one who made the recommendation on the flavors of the macaroons while Arno recommended the "campfire hot chocolate". Connor heard campfire and was convinced it'd be the best thing ever, it's his go to whenever he's there now. Ezio was introduced to Connor by Desmond & Arno. they adopted Connor into the boys then and there. (yes I see Ezio being the one to give the friend group that name)

Connor introduced Edward & Jacob to the boys.

Arno & Desmond introduced Altaïr to the boys (Ezio was still salty with Altaïr so he didn't do the introductions).

the rest is history 👏