#so im clearly enjoying it

[starlightparks]

very impulsively started the invisible life of addie larue

idk i just fancied a fantasy standalone and i loved the two ve schwab books i read before

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[rinbylin]

圣人有情而无累

dihua + 情 | 莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook

[shadeofazmeinya]

Get you a girl who can do both (aka get Breanna)

[luck-of-the-drawings]

EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?

[luxaofhesperides]

For ghost lights prompts: eldritch/creepy/weird Danny + shy/flustered Duke + hand holding

Your ghostlights fics are giving me so much joy RN I cannot express how much, if this prompt doesn't spark a brain worm for it I get it but I'm excited to read all the others you may wind up posting

There’s a new kid at West Robinson High School. 

This normally wouldn’t be a big deal. They get plenty of new students, being an average high school; not prestigious like Gotham Academy, but not terrible like some of the schools in the lower South Side. New kids are hardly anything to make note of, but something about this student has everyone paying attention to him.

It’s not charisma. The guy doesn’t talk to anyone. It’s not attractiveness, because no one really knows what he looks like under the tattered hoodie he wears all the time. It’s not curiosity, not really, because the student body moves around him like he’s dangerous, not like they want to pry all his secrets out into the open. 

It doesn’t help that Duke sees things around him. 

He considers briefly telling someone about it, but then remembers having to argue for returning to West Robinson High School instead of being put in Gotham Academy and decides that Bruce can continue to mind his own business. It’s not like this new kid has done anything bad (yet) and Duke can handle investigating this on his own.

So he watches, catching glimpses of the new kid—Danny Fenton—in hallways during passing period, hiding away at lunch, disappearing into the streets as soon as the school day is over. They even share a class together, French Language and Culture, but Danny is always in the back corner, ignored and made invisible by everyone else. 

Well. That’s not quite true. 

There are shadowy figures that surround Danny and they never leave him alone. Even when he’s got his arms folded on his desk, head down, looking as if he’s asleep, these figures pull at the hood covering his head or reach semi-transparent hands down to pet his hair. And Danny reacts to them, lightly batting their hands away or turning his head away from them.

Duke has no idea what they are. Ghosts are his best guess, but he can’t confirm it. As far as he knows, ghosts are magic and can only be seen by magic users, which Duke very much is not. They do lead to cold spots, keeping the temperatures noticeably colder around Danny, and make the shadows darker, which only makes other students more nervous about being near Danny. 

Through his week of observing Danny, beyond the ghostly figures and visible unease he causes in everyone, what Duke learns is that Danny is lonely. 

No one talks to him. People barely look at him. Teachers avoid calling on him when they can. 

And Danny accepts it. He fades into the background, keeps out of the way, shrinks in on himself. 

No one else sees it. No one else wants to see him.

It’s breaking Duke’s heart, just a little bit.

He’s lucky that he’s not an outcast at school. With his meta gene awakening and his free hours taken up by Bats and fighting crime, it’s hard to have much of a social life, but he still has a few friends during the school hours he can hang out with. Danny doesn’t have anyone, and the more Duke sees how isolated he is, the more upset he becomes.

Which brings him to step two of his investigation: befriend Danny.

So what if he has some ulterior motives! He also just wants to give this guy someone to hang out with! What little glimpses of Danny’s face he’s able to get show him a tired teenager, worn down the way Alley kids are when they’re at the end of their rope and have nothing left to give.

Duke’s first attempts at befriending Danny fail so fast it’s almost funny. It’s as if Danny knows when someone is seeking him out, because every time Duke goes to where he is, Danny up and disappears, hurrying away and vanishing in the crowded hallways, or in the alley a few buildings past the school, or into the fucking restroom, which is always empty when Duke goes in after him. Trying to use his powers to see where Danny goes next doesn’t help either; all he sees is some glowing figure resembling Danny walk through walls, which is either due to Danny being a meta or from Duke’s powers deciding to be unhelpful.

He’s about to resort to Tim level stalking to finally have a conversation with Danny when his French teacher blessedly (and unknowingly) aids him on his mission.

“Find a partner, everyone!” she instructs with a clap of her hands near the end of class. “This is a translation project, and you’ll be doing them in pairs to check each other’s work and decide how to best interpret something into English. If you don’t have a partner in the next minute, tell me and I’ll assign you someone.”

The class is a flurry of movement just as the last word leaves her mouth, friends turning to each other or running across the room to make sure they’re partnered up before anyone else can butt in. 

No one looks at Danny. Which means Duke can just skirt along the wall of the classroom until he’s next to Danny, gently knocking on his desk to get his attention.

Danny looks up, and Duke sees a flash of blue before Danny averts his gaze, tilting his head down again. “Yeah?” he says, and his voice is much softer than what Duke imagined. He expected something hoarse and rough, a little deep, intimidating. Instead, it’s gentle and quiet and smooth. 

It’s a nice voice. It’s a shame that no one else has really heard it.

“Wanna be partners?” he asks, as if he’s offering a choice. They both know no one else is going to ask Danny, and if he wants to avoid talking to the teacher, then he has to work with Duke.

Danny sighs. “Sure.” 

And then he puts his head back down on the desk. 

Duke backs off. This is the best he’s going to get right now. Now that he’s got an excuse to spend time with Danny, he can take his time breaking down his walls and getting to know him. He watches as a figure from the usual group that hangs around Danny breaks away and gently brushes a hand against Danny’s arm. Then they turn to Duke and reach for him.

He moves without thinking, stepping out of the way. The shadowy figure fades back, almost invisible even to his eyes, and Danny’s turned his head to lay his piercing gaze on Duke.

…There’s no way that blew his cover, right? 

He didn’t just reveal one of his meta abilities from taking a single step to the side. No way. 

But Danny’s eyes are a deep blue that seem almost endless as he keeps his attention on Duke. It feels as if he’s staring into Duke, seeing more than what he wants to reveal. 

“Alright, looks like everyone’s found a partner! As you head out, be sure to grab a practice packet from my desk to work on some translation. There are due the next time we meet, and I will be handing out your individual passages once these have all been turned in.” Their teacher sets a large stack of papers onto the corner of her desk, then gets to work erasing the whiteboard just as the bell rings. 

Students grab their bags and rush to take one of the packets before heading out to their final class of the day. Duke stays behind with Danny, waiting for most of the class to leave before swinging his backpack onto his shoulder and grabbing a packet for both of them.

He hands one to Danny, who takes it with some hesitancy and a quiet, “Thanks.”

He leaves before Duke does, and though it’s only a second between his leaving and Duke stepping out the door, Danny’s already vanished from sight.

As soon as school ends, Duke heads for the Hatch, hoping a quick evening patrol will help clear his mind. It’s a quiet evening, though, so he’s left with his thoughts more often than not, staring out over the city long enough that Oracle asks him if he’s alright.

Against his better judgment, he says, “I’ve been looking into something, but I’m not finding much. Can you do some research on Danny Fenton?”

Oracle is already typing before he finishes asking. “What am I looking for?”

“Anything. He’s… strange. I don’t know if he’s a meta or just lightly haunted. But there’s something up with him.”

“Do we need to be keeping a closer eye on him?”

Duke considers. None of them ask Oracle to look into specific people unless they’re dangerous. But danger is not the sense Duke gets from Danny. It’s more like he’s hiding, shying away from the world, constantly on edge. “No. If anything, he might be in danger. Something happened to him, because no one ends up like that by living an average life.”

“I’ll let you know what I find. Turn in for the night, it’s quiet out and you’re too distracted to patrol properly.”

“You got it, O.” He salutes the nearest camera, knowing she’ll see it, and makes his way back to the Hatch to change back into civies and get started on his homework.

When he next goes into his French classroom, all the desk has been rearranged so they’re all in pairs, side by side. Already, patterns are filling up the desks, so Duke heads for the back and sits down where Danny usually hides away. He’s not here yet, which is making Duke realize that he’s never actually seen Danny walk into the classroom and head to his seat.

Did he just never pay attention? Has Danny always just slipped in unnoticed until attendance was taken? How did Duke miss that?

There’s movement in the desk next to him. Duke goes to say that he’s waiting for his partner, so please sit somewhere else, when he realizes that it’s Danny who managed to sneak in yet again.

“Hey,” he says after a moment, hoping his surprise is hidden.

There’s a pause, and then Danny returns, “Hey, Duke.”

That’s all they have time for before class is starting and their teacher goes around to collect homework. She then hands out new packets, each one a different section of L’Ecume des Jours, and gives them the rest of class to begin working on translating it. 

Duke is already dreading it as he flips through the three pages they were given to translate, stapled to each other beneath the two page instructions of how to format the final translation, how to document their previous translation drafts, and what to include in the reflection essay. 

There’s no way he can get all of this done in a week. 

On the other hand, it gives him a week to learn more about Danny. He needs to make the most of it.

“This is a lot,” he comments, hoping to prod Danny into conversation.

Danny shrugs.

“Can we work on this together after school today? Or do you have plans?”

“We can work on it today,” Danny says, voice barely louder than a whisper. He’s already scanning the pages, underlining certain words and phrases. 

Duke hurries to get to work as well, trying to parse out meaning from the text through single words scattered on the page. 

Qu’est-ce que vous faites dans la vie, vous? 

J’apprends des choses, dit Colin. Et j’aime Chloé. 

Duke nods to himself. He definitely doesn’t know French. Well, he knows qu’est-ce que. He knows vous. He know j’apprends and j’aime Chloé. Also dit Colin. Fairly simple, but with the missing pieces to the rest of those sentences, he really doesn’t know what’s going on beyond the fact that it’s a conversation and Colin loves Chloé.

When he glances at Danny’s desk, he’s shocked to see that his partner is already translating the first few lines into something that reads like normal English.

“Oh, wow,” he says, leaning over to get a better look, “You’re definitely better at this than I am.”

“I just like languages,” Danny replies, turning his paper so Duke can read it more easily.

“Have you been hiding your French skills this entire time? I could have definitely used your help before this.”

Danny goes still for a moment, eyes flicking towards his right where a shadowy figure has placed a hand on his shoulder. Then he turns to fully face Duke and says, “Better late than never. What do you need help with?”

“Everything.”

His immediate answer makes Danny smile, and he begins talking in that soft, soothing voice of his. He talks about not trying to translate everything into English immediately, but to understand the French and take it in as a whole language itself. He talks about getting the idea of the text first, the feeling of it, before trying to fit it into English. He talks about splitting up the text into sections to make it easier.

And then he reads the text, entirely in French, and Duke did not have a thing for voices or multilingualism before this, but he sure does now.

“Qu’est-ce que vous faites dans la vie, vous?” Danny reads, reaching the end of the first page. The syllables come to his easily, his French smooth and steady. “J’apprends des choses, dit Colin.” His eyes dart up, off the page, and fix Duke in place. “Et j’aime Chloé.”

Duke has never been happier that he doesn’t blush so visibly with his dark skin because he feels downright romanced. It’s a mix of the French, of Danny’s addictive voice, of their closeness, of how intimate this dark corner of the room feels, tucked away from the rest of the class.

“We can work on the other pages after we finish translating this one,” Danny says, leaning back at bit. 

Duke nods, swallowing to chase away the dryness of his throat. “Sounds like a plan!” 

They work in silence for the rest of the class period, and once the bell rings, Danny says, “I’ll wait for you by the bus stop down the street,” before he slips out of reach and disappears into the throng of students heading to their last class. 

He’s beginning to think that he’s in way over his head. Duke can handle being in the middle of all the action, risking his life, fighting for others. He can handle staring down rogues and criminals and Gnomon. He can’t handle feelings and romance and other such things. Those are much scarier than a criminal shooting at him. At least with the criminal, he knows what to do and doesn’t just freeze up like he did with Danny.

The school day ends faster than he’s prepared for. As promised, Danny waits for him by the bus stop down the street, where other students are also waiting. 

They don’t wait for a bus, though. Danny just meets his eyes and begins walking away, leaving Duke to follow after him, matching his pace so they can walk side by side.

The shadows in the alleyway seem to reach towards them as they walk down it. Something about it doesn’t feel right, so Duke tries to quietly use his powers and force them back. 

He only has time to think, Oh, that was a bad idea, before Danny is shoving him against the wall, getting them both out of the way as a shadow solidifies and lashes out at them. He’s kept in place by strong hands on his chest, and Danny’s eyes are glowing lightly as he hisses at the shadows, making them rear back and settle down once more. 

As if given permission to reveal themselves, more shadowy figures and strange movements in the shadows emerge, surrounding them. 

“Danny, I don’t mean to alarm you, but—”

“I know,” Danny says. “I thought you might be able to see them too. Which is not good.”

“Sorry, man, it’s not like I can turn it off.”

“It’s fine. Just be more careful. They like me because I’m like them, but you just register as a threat. Either that, or prey.”

“Great,” Duke replies weakly, “Those are my favorite things to be. Are we… are we safe to move?”

Slowly, Danny steps back, no longer pressed right against Duke. Nothing moves to attack him, but it might be due to the glare fixed on Danny’s face, eyes still glowing.

“They’ll leave me alone, so…” He reaches a hand out, looking away. The hoodie isn’t able to hide the way his cheeks go red. “Don’t let go and we’ll be fine.”

“I hope this isn’t to lead me to my doom,” Duke jokes nervously as he accepts Danny’s hand, holding it tightly. 

Danny wiggles his fingers, making him loosen his grip, and then their fingers are lacing together. Duke stares down at their hands, wide eyed, and hopes he doesn’t look as flustered as he feels. 

“Not to your doom,” Danny reassures. “Just a coffee shop I thought you’d like.”

“Well, then, lead the way!”

“Allons-y,” Danny replies. 

Stealing glances at him as they walk, ghostly figure and shadow shrinking away from them, all Duke can think is that he doesn’t need to worry about Danny being evil. His immediate instinct to protect Duke has proved that. He’ll keep the investigation going, though, to make sure Danny is safe from others that could hurt him. 

Strange and unsettling as he may be, Danny’s also a smart, kind person who deserves more.

Duke is determined to make sure he gets it.

And if he gets a crush along the way, that’s his business and his business only. 

It looks like Step Two: Befriend Danny is finally complete. He’ll figure out the other steps later. For now, he has an evening of French in a coffee shop to look forward to.

[huginsmemory]

I feel like Alex Hirsch releasing Book of Bill 9 years after gravity falls finished is exactly the same as Monster University being released 12 years later then Monsters INC but instead of it being like, a supportive movie of people who didn't get their dreams, its a book that resonates with the original teenage audience that adored Bill and the bill/dipper ship at the exact time that the people who were in there teens are now in there mid-late twenties and starting to sexualize older men in mainstream fandom spaces (yes, there is a direct correlation between tumblrs aging userbase jokes about kitchen appliances and old man yaoi jokes) to get the same audience back in and hooked on Billford (something which was always subtextually implied and now essentially canon). Like this man knew EXACTLY what he was doing.

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try

[halfusek]

oopsie

so the stream was a flop (ill need to solve that problem in the future but that was very weird cuz these settings worked with batdr before and i doubt batdr was easier to stream performance wise) but yall didnt miss out on anything cuz uh

basically in 15 minutes i was done with the part of the. "game". that was. actually kind of looking like one. you know i didn't expect any polish to this, it was free and all. that was the part with gaskette, it was. fine. i did not find it interesting but at least it wasnt what the rest of the game was

but you know what, i get it. finally i get it

they, or maybe just mike, but its released under their company so i will say they,

they hate theorists

they hate dataminers

alright, point taken, i guess

just push away the fans who were the most interested in playing your games, cuz that's smart

it's sad really but oh well have it your way

[mythalism]

.

[mydollsaregay]

found the article, i think:

holy cannoli, I can see why it made that random woman shake her damn head and send an email 😂

it’s clearly a chill, off-the-cuff opinion piece, so im not gonna ding them too hard for just like. talking about their opinions. however.

the audacity to rank felicity highly for her stories being exciting because the take place around the time of a war, while simultaneously completely dismissing caroline out of hand is INSANE.

[idolomantises]

ngl, the more I think about it, the more I feel conflicted over how people sexualize my characters.

On the one hand, it would be silly to deny that I don't go out of my way to create aesthetically pleasing/attractive characters because I love to draw what I enjoy, and I love it when people simp for them.

But on the other hand, sometimes it does bother me that people are so fixated on sex and their own arousal that they miss important lore/plot information that I get a bit frustrated

[stiffyck]

are you guys tired after liking a post? is reblogging it too much work? poor you.

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

When I watched rebels and ahsoka I couldn’t have cared less about thrawn

I am now reading his book and I care about him and eli SO MUCH

[thegainingdesk]

Beach Body

Chapter 1

"So she does this every single year for her birthday?" I asked. "What if she wants to do something else?"

"It's a tradition!" Natasha insisted. "It's fun. No, really, it is! Oh, look out for a turning on the left."

"I hate these tiny country roads. And what if it rains one year?" I pointed out.

"It's the start of August, it doesn't rain. There it is, can you see?"

"It can rain in August." I wouldn't let go of this. I turned down the track she'd pointed out.

"There's a pub! We all go to the pub in the village and get pissed instead of having a barbecue on the beach, okay? And it's obviously not going to rain today." Natasha was obviously right about that, bright sunshine illuminating the Welsh countryside around us. "Look, I really don't know what you're worried about."

"I just don't know why I was invited. I've only - there's a car ahead, do you reckon they'll get past if I stop here? - I've only been working with you all for a couple of months, I basically only know you and Jackie." Even I had to admit that I was starting to border on whining at this point.

"But we really like you! And this is a great way to get to know people! Sun, food, a few drinks-"

"I'm driving," I pointed out, interrupting her.

"Well it's bad if you can only have fun if you've gotten drunk," Natasha scolded.

"That's not what I said at-"

"Here! Coming up! Do you see the car park on the left?"

I sighed and parked up, greeting Jackie and a large group of her friends, some familiar, some not. We grabbed various bags of food, drinks and blankets out of the car while we waited for the last few people to arrive. I greeted the few people I knew and introduced myself to some others, promptly forgetting half a dozen names.

Armed with a cool bag of meat slung over one shoulder, and a portable barbecue awkwardly tucked into the crook of my elbow, I joined the line of people making their way across the zigzagging tracks over the dunes leading to the beach. The dunes, while beautiful, were difficult to traverse, and the group split up into small parties, each determined that they'd found the easiest route around or over the steep mounds of sand.

"I'm just saying," I said quietly to Natasha after dropping the barbecue for the third time, looking around to check that Jackie wasn't close enough to hear, "that they are easier beaches to have a barbecue at, y'know."

A loud laugh from behind us, and I turned to see a handsome man I hadn't spoken to yet. "It is a really stupid beach, to be fair," he said, a wide smile on his face.

Jackie's voice came faintly from the next dune over. "What was that?"

"I said it's a fucking stupid beach!" the man called back. He caught my eye, and I must have looked taken aback because he explained: "I'm her brother, I'm allowed to tell her that her annual beach birthday's rubbish." I laughed. "Chris," he stretched a hand out.

I could see the family resemblance to Jackie - the same nose, the same dark blonde hair. Chris immediately put me at ease, with a thick blonde beard framing a constant smile, and deep smile lines around his eyes, despite looking like he was in his early thirties. His handsome face and deep voice set a tingle in my swim shorts.

I took his hand and shook it. "Adam. You must have been doing this your whole life then?"

He laughed loudly. "You'd hope so! No, this is actually a tradition she came up with at about twenty."

"Oh! I sort of assumed it was a childhood thing," I replied.

"That's what she wants you to think. I personally think twenty-eight is a little old to insist on being a special little birthday girl" he shouted this last part across the dunes, and a quiet "fuck off Chris!" came in reply, before he turned to me, and quietly now "but that's just me."

I laughed, his infectious good mood making me forget my earlier reservations about the day. By this point, Natasha was well ahead with some other people from the office and Chris and I were left alone.

"So you work with Jackie?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, just started a few months ago," I replied.

"Enjoying it?"

"Yeah! It's a nice company, people are really friendly." Speaking to Chris, even my boring job was sounding better.

"You're going to have to explain what it is you do, Jackie's never actually been able to make me understand."

"So I'm on the software side, I develop the algorithms that we use to…" I caught myself, realising I was being boring. "I do things with computers that make them make money," I joked.

"Oh my god, I love computers and money!"

"And what about you? What do you do?" I asked.

"Very similar. Computers, money. Sometimes meetings."

"Meetings! Exotic. Is that around Cardiff as well?" I asked.

"Edinburgh." My heart sank, my already slim chances of a date with a handsome, funny man disappearing to nothing. "As much as I think this annual beach birthday is silly, it at least forces me to come back and see everyone."

We walked on for a while, making easy conversation with each other. After a while Chris turned to me. "It's nice to have someone to chat to at this thing. Usually it's just Jackie's work friends talking about office drama and her uni friends talking about decade-old gossip, with me in the middle."

"Surely there's the rest of the family?"

"Nah, she insists on it being young people, but we don't have any cousins, so it ends up just being me. We always do a family thing another night," he shrugged. "Still," he caught my eye and smiled, "I reckon this one will be good."

We heard a small cheer of celebration up ahead as the people in front arrived on the beach, and we sped up, running awkwardly through the sand of the dunes. When we arrived, we dumped our bags in a small pile and helped to spread out the blankets.

I took off my shoes before hesitating, self-conscious of my body. I had a perfectly average body, maybe a little too tall and skinny, but I was always nervous of taking my shirt off in front of other people, lacking the washboard abs and bulging muscles of seemingly all of my friends. I looked around and told myself that no-one would pay me any attention, but I froze, fingers on my top button.

While the other men were wearing swim shorts in various lengths and colours, Chris had stripped off both his fun Hawaiian shirt and particularly short shorts to reveal a pair of bright flowery speedos. His shirt was hiding a subtly chunky body, with a roll of fat sticking out ever so slightly above the colourful lycra, and below, thick legs pooched out ever so slightly where the speedos cut into them. All of this was covered in a veritable pelt of hair, hiding the slight softness of his body.

Chris looked up and caught my eye, and I realised I was staring. I looked away quickly, but could have sworn he gave me a small wink. Emboldened by Chris' confidence and by the lack of notice everyone was paying him, despite the amount of skin he was showing, I unbuttoned my shirt and put it with my shoes.

A while later I walked up to Chris who was manning the various barbecues and settled down next to him. Droplets of salt water still clung to my skin and in my dark chest hair, and I thought the effect was quite sexy, if you ignored all the sand that was sticking to me as well.

"The sea good?" he asked.

"Fucking freezing," I replied.

He smiled and held out a beer to me.

I put up a hand. "Designated driver I'm afraid."

"Fair enough," he pulled the top off and began to drink it himself.

"Are you always in charge of the barbecue?" I asked.

He nodded. "And the beer cooler. It means I get to have more than anyone else without anyone calling me out on it."

I gave a small chuckle. "Good plan," I told him, and took a cheeky look sideways at him. Sure enough, his hairy stomach did look a touch more bloated than it had done earlier. "So your umm…" I cringed at the words even as I formed them, "your girlfriend couldn't make it today?" Smooth Adam. Real smooth.

"Ah, no. My, well my boyfriend had to work." My heart sank. Still, I noticed that his smile shrank ever so slightly when he mentioned his boyfriend.

"Oh! Sorry to assume, I didn't mean to-" I flustered.

"No! No, it's fine really. It happens. Do you? Have a boyfriend?" He held my eyes. "Or girlfriend? Or boyfriend?" His smile was growing again.

"Nope. Single. I broke up with my last boyfriend a while ago." I stressed the word boyfriend more than I meant to. Despite the 400 miles we lived apart, and his boyfriend, I still felt the need to make sure he knew I was gay as well.

"Oh I'm sorry," Chris said.

"Not at all, it was a while ago," I smiled at him. "Just, you know, enjoying being single."

"Yeah, I miss it a little sometimes," Chris said, and I detected an ever so slight sadness in his voice, but he quickly covered it up with his usual, unchanging smile. My heart leapt a little. He was probably just making small talk, sympathising with the lonely singleton, but a boy could dream, couldn't he?

Chris offered me a chicken drumstick. "Have you tried these? They've got like a Korean marinade thing, they're gorgeous. It's like bitter and sweet at the same time. I've had about ten."

I reached over and took it from him, taking a small bite. It was good, and I duly gave a small hum in agreement, but I wouldn't say they were exceptional. Chris picked up on my silence and laughed. "It's probably just me," he told me. "Jackie's always said I'm like a labrador when it comes to food. Food motivated." He beamed at me and picked up another chicken leg, his eyes closing in bliss as he chewed.

I readjusted my shorts ever so slightly. My attraction to Chris was growing as I got to know him - his constant cheerfulness, his small jokes, the way he didn't seem to care what anyone thought about him.

Later that day, I drove back in silence, Natasha passed out after a day of gin in the sun. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, as I thought back to the day I'd spent mainly with Chris. Despite all the reasons I could never realistically go out with him, I was utterly besotted by the man. I found myself surprised that I was already looking forward to Jackie's 29th.

Chapter 2

"Adam!" Chris called, almost as soon as I'd come from behind the last dune before the beach. "Great to see you!"

I grinned, a little embarrassed. I'd never be able to be so open about being so excited to see someone, but then that's exactly what attracted me to him last year. Paul, a friend from the office, gave me a confused glance which I purposefully ignored. "Hey," I greeted Chris, "looking good man!"

This, I thought to myself, was very true. He was wearing the same flowery speedo as last year, but it now looked positively painted on. He'd clearly put on some weight, last year's roll of flab turning into a sack of fat, suspended above the tight swimwear. His thighs had faint criss-crosses around the tops, not quite hidden by the thick hair there, and his chest now stood ever so slightly forward and down - he didn't quite have moobs, but there were certainly small pockets of fat that weren't there last year. He'd shaved his beard down to stubble, showing just a hint of a double chin forming below his jawline. While I'd never particularly gone in for the overly-ripped, action-man physique, I was still surprised by how much I enjoyed the changes to Chris' body.

I followed Chris back to where some barbecues were already set up. "Got a beer for me in one of those boxes?"

He passed one over. "Not driving this year?"

I nodded over to Natasha, who had a small crowd around her cooing over a small bump at her midriff. "Natasha's pregnant so she's not drinking anyway."

"Handy!" He clinked his bottle against mine and took a swig. I took my shirt off and was pleased to see Chris' eyes rake up and down my body, taking it in. "Sun's out, guns out, eh? You're looking fit!"

I smiled at the compliment and thanked him. I'd taken advantage of the company gym a fair amount over the past year, and for the first time ever I felt like my body could be described by more adjectives than just 'lanky'. I gave a small, joking flex, quietly proud of my beach body and was surprised when Chris reached out and gave my bicep a squeeze. "Looking good," he repeated.

We caught up for a while, taking advantage of being in charge of guarding the beer coolers, Chris eating seemingly almost constantly. While I'd thought back again and again to last year, I'd forgotten just how easy Chris was to talk to, and how much I enjoyed his company.

A few beers in, my courage picked up. "Boyfriend not here again?" I asked bluntly.

He looked confused. "Boyfriend? What do you- oh, John? God, you've got a good memory. No, he cheated on me, I found out around Christmas-ish."

"Oh god, I'm sorry. What an arsehole." I clapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, fuck him, y'know."

He laughed at this. "Fuck him! Funnily enough, that's what my mate Sarah did." He laughed again, clearly unbothered.

"Hey! Bisexual affair though! Very modern, very progressive," I joked

He nodded, still laughing, and I watched intently as his paunch shook. "That is a big comfort to me, that at least he cheated on me in a diverse way." His smile grew lopsided as he looked at me, and he shuffled a touch closer to me. "And you? Got a boyfriend on the scene?" He'd lowered his voice now.

"Umm, nope. No. No boyfriend. Some tinder dates, you know but umm," I looked down at his lips. "Single. You know. Available. For stuff."

He nodded and looked around at what everyone else was doing. "The dunes are lovely. To walk around. And stuff. If you wanted to-"

"I want to. Yep. Absolutely. Lovely dunes." I nodded furiously, the sudden movement making me feel more drunk. "The ecosystems and the, uh, crescent shapes."

"Fucking love an ecosystem," Chris said, standing up while he fished out another couple of beers to take with us and quickly grabbed one last hot dog to take with him.

We ran up the closest dune, laughing, and practically fell down the other side. Chris grabbed my hand and led me a bit further on, before pulling me towards him and kissing me, having to reach up slightly to account for the several inches of height difference between us. I melted into him, my shoulders immediately releasing tension I didn't know I was holding, and I ran my fingers through his hair.

The combination of beers, sun and arousal made us act like schoolboys having their first kiss. We stumbled again and again as we continued to walk through the dunes, not paying enough to where we were going, our hands grabbing at each other's bodies the whole way, and giggling breathlessly.

Chris' hand moved down to my swim shorts, and he pulled away slightly, his tongue briefly coming out to wet his lips as his hand rested on my straining cock. "Enjoying yourself I see?"

"Very much so," I replied, pulling him closer to kiss him again. My own hand moved down to his own crotch and I cupped his bulge through his speedos, running my fingers along his length before grasping his hard cock through the lycra. He exhaled shakily and I felt his body tense slightly as I stroked him, grabbing at the fat at his sides as I did so, kissing him deeply the entire time.

Chris stepped back and pulled me down onto the steep sand with him, grabbing my own cock beneath my shorts and began pumping his hand slowly. I pushed him back and pulled down his speedos and my shorts around our thighs. I sat up and straddled him before I grabbed both our cocks in one hand, my long fingers struggling around them both, and began stroking us off together. Chris gave a breathless laugh and laid back, his eyes rolling up into his head in pleasure. I kept my eyes open, watching the shaking of his beef with each small twitch of his body. Chris began to gently girate his hips and I sped my hand up, the fingers of my other hand probing into his flesh, the fat pooling up around them. I heard Chris' breath catch and I relaxed my body, letting my own climax come, so that we both sprayed thick jets of cum up his body at the same time.

I rolled off him and lay next to him, both of us catching our breath. He shifted his weight, rolling over slightly to kiss me. "That", he whispered, "was really fucking hot."

I laughed and nodded. "You know, I really feel like we haven't explored these dunes very much yet."

He took on a faux serious expression and nodded. "I personally don't feel I've seen enough of the unique flora and fauna endemic to Welsh dune ecosystems." He stood up, struggling to pull his too tight swimsuit back up his thighs, and I followed suit, my own swimsuit coming up easily. "There's a sort of cove-y inlet-y thing, that way," he said, pointing, "that's pretty secluded. We could clean ourselves up and explore a little more." He spread his arms out and motioned down at his sticky torso before wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Sounds perfect," I agreed, taking his hand.

A couple of hours later, we stumbled back onto the beach, Chris making a beeline for the barbecue. Thankfully, someone had taken over his duties so there was plenty of food for him to grab. My friend Paul sauntered over and raised an eyebrow suggestively. "You look like you've had a good time."

"We just went for a walk. It's very beautiful around here," I protested.

"Very beautiful," Paul nodded, his voice thick with sarcasm. "I wouldn't have had you down as a chubby chaser."

"What? I'm not a chub- nothing happened! And he's not chubby! That's very rude. And nothing happened anyway!" I could hear my voice go up too high as I blatantly lied.

"No, no, absolutely, I believe you," Paul said. "Your shorts are on backwards by the way."

I felt my face go even redder, if that was possible. I was saved from my embarrassment by Chris returning with a beer for me, and we moved towards the sea for a swim.

"Listen, I know you'll be going back to Edinburgh, but if you're around this week for a drink or something…" I suggested, once we were in the cold water.

The smile on Chris' face completely faded for the first time since I'd met him, not even a joking undertone left. "I'm going back tomorrow morning. 6 am flight."

I forced a smile. "Yeah, of course! That's fine, of course. You'd have wanted to spend time with your family anyway."

"No, no, I'd love to, I would. I really would." Chris looked genuinely sorry. "It just didn't work out. I'm sorry."

Later on, I sat in the back of Natasha's car, exhausted from a mixture of alcohol, food, sun and sex. Natasha was explaining to Annie in the front seat about how she'd actually had so much more fun while not drinking, and she was so embarrassed for all of us, convincing no-one, when Paul leaned over from the other side of the back seat.

"He seemed nice", he offered.

"Yeah, nice," I replied distantly.

"You guys going to see each other again?" he asked.

I shook my head. "He lives in Edinburgh."

"Shit, I'm sorry. Will he be there next year do you reckon?"

I gave a small smile. "Yeah, next year maybe."

Chapter 3

I got to the beach first, the usual work group trailing behind me. I was desperately trying to seem cool and calm, but I knew I was failing miserably. I looked around for Chris but couldn't see him anywhere.

"Jackie! Hey! Happy Birthday! Thirty! The big one!" I ignored her angry reply about how she didn't want to be thirty yet. "Yep. Uh-huh. Absolutely. Got to hate the linear flow of time. Anyway, Chris not here yet? He usually comes to this, right? Can't miss the big day!"

"Oh, do you two know each other? Yeah, he's going to be late, he was visiting our grandma so he's coming all the way from St Davids," she said the name of it like a joke, and I duly laughed, never quite getting the hang of Jackie. Me and Chris had texted a few times in the past year, but I'd been too nervous to ask him directly about coming to his sister's birthday, so I was relieved to hear he was coming.

An hour and a half and a few beers later, I heard a wolf-whistle behind me. "You've joined the speedo club I see!" I turned around to see Chris approaching me, fat jiggling with each heavy footstep. I'd been inspired by his confidence and my own improving physique to opt for something skimpier this time, and was happy to see that he hadn't worn anything less revealing.

It was clear that last year's weight gain wasn't a one-off. While before, he might be able to get away with being charitably called stout or burly, he was downright fat now. His gut was now a heavy, near-perfect sphere, bulging out to the sides and slightly sagging down in front of him, with genuine tits, round, plump sacks of flesh that sat on top of his belly. His always present smile now pushed two chubby cheeks out like a hamster, and he'd regrown his beard, much thicker than before, in a clear and futile attempt to cover a rounding jawline.

I matched his beaming smile and walked towards him, grabbing a beer and a burger on the way for him. I handed them over and slapped a hand onto his gut, emboldened by the few drinks I'd had while waiting. "You've got some new speedos yourself I see," I said quietly.

He twisted and pulled his gut out of the way to look, before looking back at me. "Ah, yeah, the other ones," he looked away sheepishly, "don't really fit anymore."

I bit my lip. "I'm sure they don't," I said jokingly. He smiled nervously back at me.

"Listen, I'm going to have a swim, grab some food. I'll talk to you later, alright." I watched him walk away, deflated. Did he regret last year? Or maybe something had happened, to make him so frosty? A new boyfriend maybe?

I sat and drank on a large rock, until he walked over to me and sat down next to me. Despite my nervousness, I thrilled at the thick fat on his sides brushing against my arm.

"I've been thinking about you, this year," he said finally. I looked over, heart rising.

"Me too," I replied with a smile.

His face broke into its usual grin. "Good. Good. I was a bit nervous, since you didn't text or anything. I wasn't really sure if you'd come."

"I thought the same, honestly," I confessed.

"And then," he continued, "I arrived and saw you looking really fucking good," he reached over and squeezed my strong thigh, "and I thought maybe I'd gotten too fat for you." His face had become bright red as he said this.

I laughed at him. "I like it. Really. It works for you. You carry it really well." I reached out and squeezed his own thick thigh, the fat feeling like butter beneath the skin.

"So you're into fat guys, hey?" He was still smiling, but looked a little embarrassed.

I shook my head. "Not really. I'm into you though."

His smile grew even wider. "I'm into you too." He reached out and held my hand. "I tried to diet for a bit," he confessed after a while.

"I can't imagine you dieting. You're way too confident. Like, you don't care what people think. It's sexy," I told him

"Well it turns out I'm not very good at it. I didn't actually lose any weight. But, y'know, I had the thought. Downloaded an app and everything."

"What was the app?" I asked, quietly laughing.

He shrugged. "It counted calories, told me when I was being a fat arse. Turns out I was probably supposed to do something with that information."

"Probably," I agreed.

Eventually, I realised his cheeks weren't getting any less red. "You're burning," I said, jumping up, "I'll go get some sun cream."

"I'm fine! I'm fine, really, I don't burn" he grabbed my hand to pull me back down but I pulled away.

"You're bright red. I'll get you some food and beer while I grab it," I promised. He relented, pleased that eating and drinking would now be involved.

I came back with my hands full, and passed everything over. I sat behind him and squirted some sun cream onto his back while he ate, and started rubbing it in wide circles. I relished the feel of his soft fat under my fingers, sliding my fingers deep into the crevices and folds of his body, and grabbing thick slabs of beef, all in the name of his skin health. I repeated the process on his front, exploring his soft tits, and hefting his gut up towards his face before letting it go and watching the ripples move through his body. I lingered for far longer than was necessary, tangling my fingers into the hair that covered his body, down from his shoulders, spreading across his torso and arms.

A while later, we both lay sunbathing on the sand, Chris barely moving, while I'd periodically jump up to grab him a snack. I handed him a burger and he propped himself up on his elbows and looked at me. "Listen, I'm not going home for another few days, and I've got a room at the village pub. Did you want to come for dinner? Maybe stay the night?"

"Dinner? You've been eating all day!" I responded.

"I've been snacking all day, I'll need a proper meal," he explained. I could see why he'd put on so much weight.

"That sounds good though, yeah. We need to make sure you don't waste away."

We fell into bed that night, Chris' stomach stretched tight and even rounder than earlier. I pulled off his too small t-shirt, unaccustomed to seeing him in clothes at all. I watched him for a minute or two try to take his shorts off, the button pulled tight by his heavy gut above. I took pity on him and made him suck his gut in, which he managed to, with difficulty, just enough for me to free the button and pull down the zipper, to reveal his aching cock straining against his speedos, still on from earlier.

"There's some condoms and lube in my suitcase," he told me.

"Someone was confident!" I said, but fetched them nonetheless.

He struggled to sit up, his full gut getting in the way, so I pushed him back down. "Don't you worry big guy, I'll do all the work." I sat next to him on the bed and helped him rub his gut, filled with a day's worth of barbecue and beer, and topped off with a heavy dinner, including dessert. He groaned, and I kissed him deeply. I pulled off his speedos, and his dick sprung up, slapping against his distended belly, smearing it with a spot of pre-cum.

We spent the night fucking, being as gentle as possible with Chris' overfull stomach. We spent the next day together as well, lounging on the beach, and I called in sick to work on Monday so we could spend one last day together. As I got out of Chris' car outside my house, he got out and kissed me, making me promise to stay in touch.

Chapter 4

I walked out onto the beach and made a beeline for Chris, pulling my shirt off as I approached him. He'd continued to gain weight, and his ball gut had expanded out, retaining its spherical shape but sagging down, with a deep cavernous belly button at its centre. Thick love handles sat either side of the giant gut, and above it his ample tits sat thick, beginning to droop ever so slightly towards his sides. His thighs were like tree trunks and were easily larger around than my waist, and between them I could just make out a bright flash of fabric, his speedos almost completely covered up from the front.

"They still make those in that size?" I teased him as I reached him.

"Well I don't think they don't make them too much bigger," he laughed.

"You've got your bags?" I asked.

He nodded. "In Jackie's car. You're not driving anyone back?"

"Nope, free to go as soon as we're done here." I grinned at him, excited about our planned week in Cornwall. "You can have a drink though, if you want, don't worry."

He shook his head. "I'm happy just spending some time with you."

I smiled at him and gave him a kiss. Some work friends looked over curiously, but I saw Paul and Natasha lean over to fill them in on all the gossip.

"We'll be the talk of your office will we?" Chris asked.

"Oh, hardly. It turns out Greg might actually be the father of Natasha's baby, so we'll barely be a blip on their radar."

"Oh my god!" Chris said. "I don't know who any of those people are!"

I laughed and led him over to the barbecue.

As we drove away that evening to my house, I looked over at Chris, as he snored faintly. He'd not had anything to drink, but he'd eaten so much over the course of the day that getting back over the sand dunes had been a genuine issue, and by the time we got back to the car park everyone except Jackie and her fiancé had long gone. Jackie passed over Chris' bags and I put them in the boot while Chris collapsed into the front seat, the car dipping dramatically on that side.

That night lacked the urgency of the other times we'd met, not driven by lust, but rather just enjoying each others' company. We watched a movie while I snuggled into his side, sinking into his soft fat like a pillow. The next morning I made a large breakfast before we set off on our holiday.

Chapter 5

I walked out of the sand dunes and was almost immediately accosted by old colleagues. "How's Edinburgh?" Paul asked.

"Great! Really, really great! The job's basically the same thing, computers, money, meetings, you know," I replied.

"And Chris? How's he?" Natasha asked.

"He's great too, we've settled really well into living together, it just all works."

"Is he coming or…?"

I turned around to look at the dunes. "He's just taken the scenic route, he'll be here in a bit." For the most part I'd gotten used to walking at Chris' slower pace, and kept with him for most of the walk, but had run ahead at the last couple of dunes. Sure enough, after a minute or two he appeared between the bases of two dunes.

He'd put on more weight while we were living together, but he'd slowed down a little recently. Still, he was clearly bigger than the last time we were here, one year ago. While the changes might not be so obvious to a lot of people, just a fat man getting fatter, I noticed them all. His stomach stuck out just that bit more, his sides that much wider, his legs that much softer.

He walked over to me (waddled might be more accurate, I pondered, especially on the soft sand), and gave me a peck on the cheek. We put our bags down a convenient distance to the food, and stripped down to our speedos, Chris' once again new to stretch across his added weight.

"Fancy a swim?" Chris asked me, already walking towards the water.

"Sounds good," I said, quickly catching up to him. "Maybe afterwards we can go for a walk through the dunes?" I raised my eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh fuck off!" Chris said. "I'm not going back through those, I'm knackered after that walk. You're just going to have to wank me off in front of everyone, if it comes to it."

I laughed and kissed him on the cheek, admiring the plush softness. "Well hopefully it won't come to that."

"Why not?" Chris asked, joking. "Do you not think I'm beach body ready?"

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

got three asks asking for laughingstock in a row, im putting the doodles i have On A Shelf <3