#so if anyone knows pls let me know so i can credit them

[basementfrogs]

Days 1-3! lil pile of fellas for amphibuary

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

apologies for the quality but this wouldn't leave my head

[doomednarrative]

Kamen Rider OOO Wonderful: The Shogun and The 21 Core Medals

[valeriianz]

are you still doing yearning prompts? can you please do "every time you smile i memorize it...." from the list?

what you're about to read doesn't go with this prompt... yet! have a snippet of what's going to be a long Photographer!Hob and Model!Dream au. it's completely outlined so hopefully i'll have it out within a week, but for now, have a little backstory on how they met:

Morpheus had tumbled into his life almost literally. He appeared at the bar Hob worked at, collapsing into a stool and ordering a gin and tonic without so much as a “how are you?” and Hob hadn’t paid much attention to him, at first. They certainly didn’t speak, except for the mundane, “can I get you another?” and a heavy nod from the shadow at the end of the bar.

Morpheus was like a shadow, back then. A wallflower clad in midnight black, all the way to his ruffled head of hair. His skin was milk white with a jawline that could cut. Hob found himself sneaking constant glances at him, finding something new every time. The way he sat, stiff and proper, like he didn’t know how to slouch. The way his fingers wrapped around the short glass, skeletal, but also soft, careful, like what he held in his hand was a precious thing. His face, however, contrasted his demeanor. It gave everything away, his eyes puffy and red, like he’d been crying. Maybe he had been, people who came to a bar alone usually shared in some sob story, though it was interesting that Morpheus hadn’t spoken yet, choosing instead to silently numb himself with gin. 

He was pretty, Hob had thought, in the way a knife was pretty. Cold hard steel, sharp, heavy, lethal. But something that could also get dull and worn down with time. Hob had been curious, had wondered what could dull this man’s edge– a man who affected this tone of grace and confidence, when surely he must’ve known how his eyes betrayed him.

Hob spoke to him as he set down his third drink. He doesn’t remember the details of that first conversation, but Hob does recall easing into it, like walking up to a stray cat. It was clear Morpheus wasn’t interested in discussing why he was alone and upset that night. So Hob instead broke the ice to ramble about the latest book he read, what classes he was taking, the weather, allowing each topic to prompt Morpheus to respond, slowly opening him up until that ramrod straight back finally began to loosen, bending forward. Soon enough the man had his elbows on the bar top, giving Hob his full, undivided attention.

Hob supposes he should remember more, given the crater Morpheus left in his life. But it had been a busy night, the bar was dark and loud, and if what had happened an hour later hadn’t come to pass, Hob most likely would have brushed off the interesting man in the corner as just another customer. 

As it happened, Morpheus had gotten drunk, was giving out his smile a little more freely, and was glaring daggers at another drunken fellow a few seats down who had been incessantly flirting with Hob.

Hob had a plan with the drunken lech, he always did with unwanted attention from patrons. He played along with the nicer compliments, bit his tongue at the lewder ones, and finally set the man’s check down once he’d said something vulgar about where Hob’s “pretty lips” could be used for. He’d of course said he wasn’t done and after Hob insisted yes, he was, the man had the gall to grab Hob’s arm and pull.

Now, Hob could defend himself, was no amateur in a brawl, and was about to use his free hand to grab the back of the guy's head and smack his face into the bar, when suddenly it had been done for him.

His stranger at the end of the bar was there in a flash, pulling the man’s head back up by the hair and shoving him hard enough to make him tumble backwards and off the stool. Hob took a baffled moment to simply gawk, watching with wide eyes as the man landed on the floor in a crumpled heap before Morpheus grabbed him by the collar to hoist him up again with a strength that probably surprised everyone who was now watching.

In the time it took to give the guy a right hook, causing everyone to emit a chorus of “ooh!” after the sickening sound of bone connecting with bone, Hob remembered he should break this up. He met his manager on the floor and grabbed Morpheus around the shoulders, turning him violently away at the same time his boss had the other man in a choke-hold. Morpheus had his hands up in surrender as Hob forcibly pulled him through the dining room and out the door.

Normally Hob took a great deal of pleasure kicking rowdy customers out, tossing them onto the sidewalk like a bag of trash, but as he pitched the man in his arms out into the cool night air, he knew he’d been smiling for a whole different reason. He shouldn’t find the drunken fight to be amusing, but rationality wasn’t Hob’s strong suit, back then.

Morpheus had stumbled, nearly getting tangled in his long legs, before swinging his head to regard Hob.

Hob had expected some kind of tantrum, a biting remark about how unfair this was, or an explanation, but instead what Morpheus had said was,

“I haven’t paid my bill.”

Hob snorted, watching him sway on the spot and breathing heavily, the adrenaline of the fight still obviously pulsing through his veins.

“Come back tomorrow.”

[loveitselfofitself]

By F*Kaori

[vampiricgf]

lil drabble of satoru n reader on a cute pottery class date because I haven't been able to stop thinking about them sobs gimme loverboy satoru pls pls (credit @neptuneblue for this sweet idea ilysm)

0.8k. sfw. set in the same universe as this frat boy gojo fic

You drove past the place weeks ago, nearly getting into an accident maneuvering through traffic to pull into the parking lot and furiously take down the info in the little sign on the window.

Now offering couples pottery classes!

It was perfect and that night you'd spent hours giggling on the old futon in Satorus room talking about going in next week to try a class together. It made your chest feel full and tight, like a million bufferflies were fluttering their wings around hearing him chatter excitedly to you about making the cutest bowl for you.

Just watch, mines gonna be the most adorable one!

You can hear it now in the back of your mind as you stare at your forlorn lover with wet clay splattered all over his hands and smeared in odd patches on his nose and cheeks and you try to hold in the building storm of giggles that threatens to burst like the snap of bubblegum popping.

"What's wrong, baby?" You ask, glancing between the thick, wobbly bowl sitting in front of him and those jewel toned eyes.

"Nothin',' he says and you bite your lip as the laughter threatens to spill over once more.

"It's not nothing, tell me what's up, please?" You implore, reaching across the table to grasp one of his hands, feeling the clay smearing against his and your skin.

His eyes look anywhere but at you for a moment, flicking around the studio before he heaves a particularly dramatic sigh and presses the back of your hand to his cheek.

"I was supposed to make the cutest one for you. Look at it, it's awful."

He sounds so morose you can't help the way you want to get up from the table and cradle his face in your hands, press him against your chest and smother him in affection.

What a big baby.

You can feel your eyes softening before you speak. "Toru you know anything you make me is adorable, right?"

"Aw, don't do the mom voice please baby I can't handle it."

That makes the flurry of giggles erupt, which only serves to deepen his pout and he lets go of your hand abruptly with a hmph before playfully looking away from you. That makes it even harder to catch your breath against the stream of laughter but eventually you do, rising to come around to his side of the table and placing a sweet kiss to his cheek that isn't marred by drying clay.

"I'm serious, I love everything you give me or make for me 'Toru. Because it's from you. But-" you cover his mouth with your hand before he can interrupt, ignoring his exaggerated sounds that threaten to derail your thoughts entirely, "what if we finished it together? Then they'd be like a matching set, like me and you."

You smile at him, removing your hand and for a moment you wonder if maybe you said the wrong thing because he looks so... dumbstruck. It only lasts for a second though, quickly replaced by that familiar, comforting smile.

"Yeah, just like me and you."

It's so soft you almost miss it over the din of others around you in the studio but you don't miss the way your heartbeat picks up, pounding against your ribs as he brushes your knuckles against his lips before turning his attention back to the clay in front of him.

You've never felt so gripped by the urge to tackle and kiss anyone like you do with Satoru.

[nightshadeshadow123]

Sunshine is far away, rain clouds linger on

Based on the last episode of House Of The Dragon season 1. Just alternative ending to give it a happy ending, the new trailer have me feeling some kind of way when they found the remains of Arrax and Luke so wanted to write a comfort fic. Reader's dragon is roughly the same size as Caraxes in this. (Y/D/N) means your dragon's name. Got the title idea from @m3g555 book ideas on wattpad. If anyone knows where the gif of Rhaenyra and Daemon is from pls tell so I can give credits, Arrax one is from @lukearys

Rhaenyra Targaryen x Reader x Daemon Targaryen (although he's only mentioned in this one) Long cringe fic tbh but my first time writing for HOTD. If anyone knows which dragon readers dragon is inspired from in the gif Ily.

You felt gut churning dread engulf you when seeing Aemond on the back of Vhagar taking off into the dark skies, gaining up on the smaller white figure of Arrax and Luke but this only spurred you to ran faster to get to your dragon, running through the mud and pelting rain while desperately calling out the name of your trusty dragon who let out a croon, wings and talons thundering as loud as the thunder in the unforgiving sky above as he made his way to you in a hurry to meet you half way when hearing the panic and urgency in your voice, his towering black and grey scaled body coming into view making you felt a bit relieved, grabbing onto one of his spines to clamber your way upon the saddle on his back all the while cussing the heavy furs you wore for the trip slowing you down by being soaked.

The way your heart was hammering in your chest made you flinch more that the harsh lightning booming above. Rarely did anything scare you like this, especially knowing that Aemond is out after Luke on his silly little revenge fit he's still in.

"Sōvegon!" You urged when you had the reigns in hand, knuckles turning whiter by the moment from both the cold of being soaked to the bone from the raging rain and from how tight you're gripping the reigns when (Y/D/N) took off with speed, immediately setting to follow behind Vhagar, strong wings flapping repeatedly to gain speed and find gait in the unforgiving storm that was strong enough to make even a dragon struggle to keep up, making you even more fearful for Lucerys and Arrax with their much smaller size that is already struggling.

The wind howling through your ears was as deafening as the thunder and rain that made your soaked hair stick to sides of your face, occasionally hearing the screeches of Arrax in a way to try be comforting to Lucerys and the flapping of Vhagar's strong wings and the low rumbling coming from (Y/D/N) until you lost sight on them from the dark skies and clouds.

Vhagar's shadow loomed above Arrax tauntingly, adding more dread as the lightning briefly casted over her form. Luke look up fearfully but was too late to see her as she disappeared into the clouds again, only hearing the flapping of her huge wings.

Your heart nearly jumped into your throat when Arrax suddenly swerved to the side and (Y/D/N) swerved the other way, narrowly avoiding Vhagar from colliding into you, a uncomfortable growl leaving him while you frantically looked around, trying to catch sight of the old beast after she disappeared into the dark clouds again, only seeing Arrax's figure being slightly illuminated by the lightning reflecting against his white scales and Luke on his back just as frantically looking around to every side, feeling slightly relieved when he caught sight of you not too far away from them.

It was proved difficult with the rain roughly pelting in your faces and the dark clouds to spot the other dragon, having to repeatedly blink to get the rain from obscuring your visions.

You felt uneasy when (Y/D/N) became tensed underneath you, the steam coming from his snout becoming more prominent to your eyes before hearing the flapping off Vhagar's wings until she broke from the clouds menacingly from your right, eyes widening when Vhagar snapped her jaws at Arrax before trying to grab the much smaller dragon with her claws that they managed to narrowly avoid by diving dowards with Vhagar still hot on their trail when diving behind them.

"Dive!" you instructed to your trusty dragon, holding on tighter on the reigns when he dove downwards through the pelting rain and the darkened clouds to the raging sea below, narrowly avoiding Vhagar's tail from knocking you both out of the sky when he got dangerously close to her but this only spurred the two of you to go faster to try and get her and Aemond's attention away from them, the adrenaline pumping through your veins feeling exhilarating despite the fear gripping your heart in a death hold, not the good kind in your opinion.

"Adhirikydho! pālegon!"(Quickly! Turn) You heard Luke yell to Arrax when the three of you came close to rock formations, sharply turning after spreading his wings, the wind catching in them as Vhagar and (Y/D/N) follow suit, the wind tugging your dragon's wings made you grip even tighter than you thought possible, you could feel the way your hands are hurting from the grip on the reins, biting your lip until you tasted the metallic taste of blood, pulling on the reins to make the unexpected turn, wanting this to end and to just get home safely with Luke, back to your beloveds and the kids and just to warm up and sleep for hours. This chase was taking toll on you fast so you can imagine how exhausted Luke and Arrax must feel. You swore if you could you'd slap Aemond so hard that his hair would cocoon around his head for seven days.

Feeling annoyed when hearing the amused laughter of Aemond despite the rain and wind, smile wiped from his face when Arrax took another turn and dove between a narrow gap between two formations, causing your dragon and his dragon having to quickly fly higher again on time to avoid smashing into solid rock. At this moment you felt a little more grateful for Arrax's smaller size, having the upper hand at better agility and speed and being able to fit through the narrow gap beneat you and Aemond's dragons, knowing full well that Vhagar wouldn't be able to fly through that even if it meant yours wouldn't either because of his size. He wasn't Vhagar's size but he was much bigger than Arrax.

The time it took for Vhagar to reach a safe altitude you've managed to fly up right next to them, seeing Aemond glace your way as you glared at him, amusement dancing in his eyes and smile, throwing his head back as he burst out into a fit of laughter.

"Ao own iā gēlȳn! valītsos!" (You own a debt! Boy!)He yelled, furiously looking down to try and spot the child and the young dragon who have vanished from sight, this had you feeling relieved.

"Debts be damned Aemond! Leave the child alone!" You felt the anger bubble inside of you once again. They were kids back then and he asked for it in the first place. Luke was only trying to defend his brothers and the accident caused Aemond one eye but he still gained Vhagar for that and it was years ago.

Aemond huffed out in annoyance, opening his mouth to respond back to you but at that moment you heard Lucerys panicked voice.

"Daor Arrax!" (No Arrax!)He yelled before a fireball unexpectedly got hurled in Vhagar's face as Arrax zipped past the two of you when Vhagar nearly jerked her head into your dragon, a growl leaving her while you flinched in suprise when (Y/D/N) jerked to the side.

"Daor! Arrax! Dohaeragon nyke!" (No Arrax! Serve me!) you heard Luke ordered in fear, pulling frantically on his reins, feeling scared when seeing Luke lose control over Arrax as they disappeared into the clouds and more terrified when Vhagar let out an angry screech and begin to set after the tiny dragon again but this time you've got (Y/D/N) into motion on time, following on Vhagar's heel as Aemond got fearful when he lost control of her too, trying to steer her back and yelling at her to stop.

"Vhagar! No!"

Lucerys felt slightly relieved when they broke through the clouds and found calmness and sunshine above the storm, feeling Arrax relaxing too while he scanned the place to try and catch sight of you or Aemond, heart still beating unsteady when he didn't find you next to him.

He went to call out but nearly screamed when Vhagar unexpectedly broke from the clouds very close to his right, jaws open as she came at them with lightning speed but was heavily startled and confused when a dark shadow whipped past them and crashed straight into the side of Vhagar's neck while Arrax let's out fearful screeches while flapping repeatedly to not get swooped into the mess, feeling Vhagar's hot breath against them briefly.

Lucerys felt a mix of relief when seeing it's you on your dragon who barreld into the side of Vhagar and saved him and Arrax from becoming a meal to Vhagar when he could make out your dragon's black scales and red eyes.

You had to grab onto one of (Y/D/N) neck spines to keep yourself from falling off of his back when he dugged his sharp talons and teeth into the side of Vhagar's neck with a ferocious force that sent the four of your tumbling back into the dark clouds beneath you with a surprised roar from Vhagar and Luke letting out a yell of fear as he watched you fall back into the raging storm below, fearing for the worst of you being hurt or worse.

You've always been like his second mother even before you were with his mother where you claimed the two of you were only 'friends' having known her and Alicent since childhood, and the two boys have know you since their birth when you've always been there and having sided with Rheanyra after the whole Alicent thing, and you, him and his brother always getting into random shenanigans with their mother having given up on scolding when you and her sons got in trouble or got a bit too carried away while Daemon were urging you on and occasionally getting caught up too in it when he got involved in the relationship. And the time you wanted to strangle Alicent when she made Rhaenyra walk up flights of stairs right after giving birth, if it weren't for Laenor stopping you and your worry to support her all the way up each step, having given Alicent the most poisonous glare while holding Rhaenyra and baby Joffrey close. You were there to help her look after Joffrey when he was still a baby after Harwin's death when Rheanyra took it hard even though you were hesitant when it came to babies and their amusement to find you asleep with the baby asleep on your chest or either wrapped up in a blanket in your arms with you under your dragon's wing while you spoke with the dragon softly as to not disturb the sleeping baby. It was no different when baby Aegon and Viserys were born after the union with Daemon, it was hard to keep up with seven kids with Daemon's twin daughters, Baela and Rhaena, included from his previous marriage but those two were able to keep you atleast a bit sane since they were less unruly and always eager to help you and Rhaenyra around. And sword training with him, Daemon and Jacaerys and teaching them about the dragons as they grew up with their dragons by their side.

He smiled when remembering a few moons(months) ago how you nearly fainted when Rhaenyra told you she's pregnant and there is yet again a new addition on the way and how pale your face have gotten, eyes wide and Jacaerys having gotten worried along with Rhaenyra as she went to your side to make certain you start breathing again after the news, fussing over you despite all the amusement at your surprise, while Daemon were snickering in the corner along with Baela and Rhaena giggling. But during the pregnancy you were tailing behind her, constantly fussing over her, pulling out chairs for her and letting her rest while helping Daemon and the maids with Aegon and Viserys, refusing to let her do anything that could strain her too much and making sure she's eating healthy all the while glaring daggers at Daemon from his teasing but you made sure to get back at him.

You felt even more disheveled from all the clashing when Vhagar finally backed down, hovering heavily in front of you, Aemond looking to be in a heaving state too, for once looking shamefull when looking back at you, breathing heavily.

"That was very idiotic of you to chase a damn child on a much smaller and less experienced dragon on a freaking war dragon Aemond!" Your voice sounded as alarming as the thunder as you hissed the words at him like poison, a burning fury behind your eyes.

"I...I..I'm so sorry (Y/N)." He spoke hesitantly, trying his best to not look away in his nervous state as your words got to him, reality finally seeping in as adrenaline began to slowly wear off.

"You could have killed them Aemond. What were you thinking?"

"I lost control over Vhagar. I just wanted to scare him and..."He mumbled before trailing off, shame in his voice at having to admit that. His mother certainly would have been greatly disappointed if she witnessed this as much as his father who never really gave him the attention he needed, only having ever noticed his mistakes.

Your heart were still beating like crazy in your chest, thudding through your ears as you took in his words, trying to calm your breathing, feeling concerned at the bleeding wounds from Vhagar's claws on (Y/D/N)'s side from when she grabbed onto him to throw him to escape his jaws on her. There were scars on Vhagar you felt guilty about too that had to be caused to get them away from Luke and Arrax but it was necessary.

You wanted to scold him more but only opted to rub at your soaked temple, willing your mind to just be calm, half understanding where Aemond is coming from but still dissapointed, mostly in the lack of guidance he had from his parents for he doesn't know that dragons can't be controlled as freely as he thought and that they aren't slaves and that they'll still lash out if they so desire. You admired Viserys when he was still alive because he was Rhaenyra's father and Daemon's brother but he could have made more effort with his children he had with Alicent.

"Just go home Aemond, you got lucky this time because if anything have happened to Luke I swear to the old gods and new gods you'd have had Daemon, Rhaenyra and me coming after you." You finally said after a few moments, pushing the hair sticking to your face from the rain still pelting on you both, grimacing at how heavy your limbs felt to even move anymore at this point.

Aemond looked as if he wanted to say something more for a moment but chose to remain silent, before setting Vhagar back into motion in the other direction, glancing back at you briefly before you too set (Y/D/N) into motion to find Luke again after seeing Aemond and Vhagar dissapear further into the storm.

Luke made Arrax glide through the air slowly, circling two times while his eyes scanned the clouds beneath frantically, the coil in his stomach tightening when he saw no sign of any movement that could be you, contemplating if he should leave or dive back into the storm to try and see if he could find any sight of you, wondering how he was gonna break the news to his mother and father if you are dead or hurt.

They wouldn't take this well at all that was for certain. He himself was beginning to the tear up when the adrenaline wore down, the situation finally settling in as he wiped furiously at the tears forming in his eyes, hearing Arrax croon slightly below when sensing the heartbreak of his young ride through their bond.

It was a few moments longer when they heard flapping of wings again, immediately alert and tense as Luke scanned below them, scared of it being Aemond and Vhagar, ready to finish them off too but the two calmed slightly when hearing the familiar rumble of (Y/D/N) before the two of you broke through the clouds, gliding up next to them.

"You're alive!" Lucerys yelled happily, a tired but gleeful smile on his face when seeing the two of you, eyes lingering on the blood and wounds on (Y/D/N)'s side as you shot him a just as exhausted but comforting smile, both of you looking worse for wear after the intensity of the situation.

"Of course kid. I'm too hard to get rid of that easily much like Daemon." You shrugged playfully, laughing softly when Luke laughed, humming in agreement to your words, while the two of you set back home, trying your best to take deep breaths to calm your raging heart that was still beating like the wings of a hummingbird in your chest, trying process everything that just happened in this short time. How did a simple trip not that far away from home turn into this?

"I won't disagree with that."

You were grateful you went along with Lucerys on the trip to Storm's End to try and get Lord Borros Baratheon to support Rhaenyra when you saw how nervous the child were despite trying his best to mask it for his mother's sake. If you weren't here to have helped you grimace thinking of what could have happened.

It was quite for a few moments with you keeping a close eye on Luke and Arrax and occasionally patting at your dragon's neck in comfort and gratitude while worried about his wounds, hearing him crooning lowly in response to ease your worries.

"What happend back there?" Luke decided to ask, glancing your way curiously, eyes full of questions and curiosity.

Shrugging slightly you swiped the sticky hair from your face again, eyes trained foward in the sky before giving him attention.

"We've managed to get Vhagar to back down. She didn't take to that too kindly as you can see with the wounds. They are both okay and left after Aemond got her back in control." You explained, exhaustion heavily in your voice.

Lucerys gave you a shy smile after another few moments passed.

"Thank you for helping us back there. That was really brave of you for risking your life to do that."

You returned the smile, waving him off while looking out into the skies, feeling calmer and happier when seeing the familiar place you call home finally appearing in your sight.

"Luke, it was nothing big. You know very well I won't let anything hurt you nor your siblings and mother and father either and won't hesitate doing whatever it takes to keep you all safe. And the real brave one here is really you and Arrax. You'll make a mighty fine Lord of Driftmark one day." You told him sincerely, smiling at the child as he tried to hide his embarrassment at your words, urging (Y/D/N) to go faster when Arrax picked up speed towards Dragonstone with an excited screech, just as eager as all of you to get home to your lovers, eat and melt into their arms and rest.

Soon enough you landed next to Arrax and Luke after the people scattered out of the way with murmurs and awe, sliding off of (Y/D/N)'s back, gently patting his side as he nudged your side before Luke ran up to you and throw himself against you in a tight hug, nearly sending the two of you stumbling to the hard ground but you returned the hug, gently ruffling his already messy hair after wrapping an arm around his smaller form until you heard the sounds of people's murmurs again, and looked up to see the various people of Dragonstone and royal guards watching you all curiously, some greeting you both before two dragon keepers rushed over to take the reigns of your dragons to tend to (Y/D/N) wounds and let the two dragons get rest after proper care.

You looked up in the sky when a shadow casted over the ground, seeing Daemon's dragon Caraxes flying about in the cloudy sky, and spotting Syrax resting on the grassy field in the distance, her yellow scales shimmering under the few sun rays peeking through the clouds causing a small smile to tug at your lips at seeing your lovers dragons so peaceful despite still being worried about (Y/D/N) wounds.

You followed behind Lucerys as he began walking to the towering keep tiredly, body sore, fighting the urge to close your eyes, your whole body felt so heavy and exhausted and you just wanted to sink into a warm bath and just get in bed and fall asleep in your lovers arms.

"I'm so sleeping four days straight. Jace and father can forget about training for the next few days." You lowly hummed in agreement as the guards pushed open the heavy doors, letting you and Luke through as you nodded your head in gratitude at them, running a hand through your hair, huffing at the tangled mess it was from the rain and bizzare events from earlier. Storm's End definitely lived up to it's name.

"Agreed kid. Not even Balerion himself would be able to drag me out of bed."

You spotted one of the guard standing at his post, deciding to ask him where Rheanyra and Daemon is.

"My lady. Price Lucerys, welcome back. Queen Rhaenyra is in the meeting room." He said and you give a smile in thanks to him before walking to the room with Luke following behind, fingers trailing the rough stone walls of the dark building.

You soon reached the meeting room where Rhaenyra, one of your beloved's is, seeing her talking with a few council members, all the talking halting as soon as your arrived and one of the door guards announced your arrival, all eyes on you making you feel a little uncomfortable but keeping your head high as your eyes met with her dazzling voilet eyes, resisting the urge to just rush over to her and embrace her tightly and just melt into her comforting arms.

She could immediately sense the exhaustion from you and her son, and that something bad must have happend as if your rough and tattered appearanced weren't a dead give away, she quickly dismissed the council and guards before hastily making her way towards you when you relaxed, guard slipping down the moment her soft comforting hand cupped your cheek and her familiar .eyes scanned your face before landing on Lucerys, questions and concern swirling behind her eyes at the appearance you both were in.

"What happend?" The question made you feel tired all over again as the memories replayed through your head like a mantra, your lips pulling into a tight lipped smile, blinking a few times to clear your head, mentally preparing yourself.

"The pirate-eyed Targaryen and his demented bald granny dragon happend." You could hear Luke trying to keep his snort in from your name for Aemond and his dragon, biting his lip to try and contain his smile as he nudged into your as Rhaenyra looked confused for a moment before realization hit her at who you meant, face paling despite wanting to smile lightly at the words that left your mouth, eyes more alert while scanning the two of you, relaxing when your hand brushed against her swollen stomach, her hand landing on top of yours as you made eye contact again, giving her a assuring smile despite your heart raising as the memory flashed vividly through your mind.

"That's quite a story but yeah, Aemond was there before us, already having gotten the  Baratheon's on their side. He saw Lucerys and just lost his mind, wanting to take out his eye as pay back for his and by the time a raging storm have started, we were leaving but Aemond chased after Luke even when he ran to his dragon despite the guards trying to stop him when I told Luke to run." You could feel the anger from Rhaenyra as she worriedly grabbed his hand with her free hand as he stood closer to your side but she could sense there were more to the story.

"And this ended up getting worse because Aemond was dead set on getting to Luke, he chased behind him and Arrax in the raging storm, I felt so terrified of anything bad happening and I got on (Y/D/N) and followed behind them to try get their attention away from them. He kept taunting Lucerys and Vhagar tried a few times to bite at them and she nearly did when Aemond lost control over her when Arrax shot a fireball at her when feeling threatened." The more you spoke the more you could see Rhaenyra getting worried and angry, pulling the child into her side protectively, her fingers running through his hair as he hugged her, being careful over her pregnant stomach while you intertwined your hand with her other one this time, bringing it your mouth and kissing it gently, letting your lips linger on the soft skin, knowing this helps her calm down.

Stressing weren't good for the baby and you were determined to keep her calm despite the grim reality of the story you have to tell her.

"Mother, she and (Y/D/N) managed to dive in on time to stop anything bad from happening but (Y/D/N) got hurt by Vhagar and I was so scared when I didn't see them for awhile but we're all safe now! They were really brave." Lucerys spoke up admiration making you chuckle as she smiled gently at your son.

"Is that so? I don't doubt that because they both have always been brave." She moved her hand to his cheek fondly as he nodded eagerly.

"My love the real brave one was all Lucerys and Arrax." You spoke with smile, patting him on the shoulder before ruffling his hair causing you and his mother to laugh he huffed in embarrassment from your words, trying to play it cool as he tried fixing his unruly hair, failing miserably and only making it look worse.

After the laughing died down she pulled both of you into a group hug, holding onto both of you tightly when a tear slipped from her eye, feeling beyond relieved that the two of you got home safely but still feeling the underlying madness at Aemond's pettiness and how he could have gotten either one or both of you killed.

You happily melted into her warm hug, face nuzzling into her platinum locks while you felt her comforting scent wash over you, grounding you and serving as a solid reminder that you're both home and safe where you all belonged.

Daemon would certainly handle this news way worse with his short temper but it's a good thing you and her are there to stop him from doing something bad. He would no doubt jump on Caraxes and burn down King's Landing if given reason enough.

Reluctantly pulling away from the hug, Rhaenyra kissed your cheek gently before turning to Luke.

"Ask the maids to prepare a bath for you and get dressed in comfortable clothes then come down for a meal, the cooks have been preparing your favorite." You watched the interaction with a fond smile, heart melting at the two as he lightened up at her words before rushing out of the room and down the halls after closing the doors.

You walked over to her, hugging her from behind while your hands landed on her stomach, rubbing softly as she leant back against you, a content smile when you planted kisses against her neck then cheek, resting your head on her shoulder and just gently swinging her from side to side, closing your eyes and taking in her scent when her hand landed on the back of your head and the other one on top of yours, squeezing gently.

"Thank you so much for keeping Lucerys safe even if you risked your own life." You heard her murmur, hearing the way her voice caught in her throat as tears threatened to spill but you hummed in a comforting way, hugging her tighter.

"My love, there is no need to thank me for that. I'd do it again in a heartbeat to keep you, our sons and big family safe and would gladly give up my own life if I have to to ensure your all safe and protected." You told her with emotion bleeding through every word, feeling at ease when she gently squeezed your arm.

"Nyke gīmigon ñuha sīmontan. Nyke'll gaomagon keskydoso syt jemome tolī." (I know my rose. I'll do the same for all of you too) You melted at her endearing name for you and her words and how her voice have that calming effect on you when speaking in high Valyrian. You could just drift off on her like this if you could and stay in this moment forever.

"Where is Daemon? I saw Caraxes earlier when we got here but no sign of him when entering the keep." You questioned softly, your head still on her shoulder and lips grazing her cheek in a soft kiss as she hummed with a grin, leaning her head to connect her lips with yours once again in a slow but gentle kiss that lasted a few seconds.

"He's probably still outside with the royal blacksmith. He said he wanted to get something made for little Visenya for when she's born." You softly made a sound of acknowledgement, remembering when he asked you on some advice between choosing what to have made for the baby.

The two of you stayed that way for a few moments longer before she pulled away, gently grabbing both your hands and leaning in to kiss you yet again, smiling into the kiss and causing you to tiredly grin when meeting with her voilet eyes, sparks flaring between your gaze after pulling away from the kiss.

"You're beauty never fail to amaze me." You mumbled with a dreamy voice making her cheeks turn slightly red while she laughed shyly, the sound making your grin grow even bigger by the moment.

"Come my beloved, let's go get a bath prepared for you and then join Lucerys, Joffrey, Baela and Rhaena for a meal then get rest. I'll let one of the guard's call for Daemon and fetch Viserys and Aegon. They've all been eager to see you again." She pulled you to the doors and towards your shared room as you nodded, allowing her to pull you along as her hand gripped yours like her life depended on it, too scared to let go for even a moment and eager to spend time with you, Daemon and the kids and already plotting on how to make Aemond wish he weren't born. She can only silently pray that Jace returns safely too.

[ikigaisvt]

our dawn is hotter than day.

in which you and your boyfriend says i love you for the first time surrounded by his friends.

pairing: jeonghan x reader, seventeen x reader (in a friendship way lmao dw) words: 1.6k content: fluff warnings: talk of drinking (like two times but it's not a main theme), reader sits on jeonghan's lap, reader kisses jeonghan's cheek, they hold hands, jeonghan's tucks reader's hair away from their face, pda ig?, petnames (for reader: angel, baby / for jeonghan: hannie) note: jeonghan's instagram post from a few days ruined me,, he's my bf :( this idea was mostly @homerunhansol so credits to her for this story (and for making me delusional about hannie 🫶) thank you bb! minors can interact with this fic but pls don't follow! comments, likes and reblogs are always appreciated, pls don't forget

You thought when you would meet Jeonghan’s bandmates – his soulmates if we’re being truthful, that it would be nerve-recking. You thought you would be stuck to your boyfriend’s side, never letting go of his hand and always looking at him only, never meeting anyone’s eyes. No matter how many times he said in a reassuring tone you will be just fine, you didn’t believe him. You knew you were going to be anxious and there was no way around it. At least, you thought you knew.

What you never expected is – as the forever introvert you are, that you would get along with them this well. Since you walked into the place the 13 boys have rented for the weekend, it has been a constant exchange of laughter, smiles, drinks and food. Even the most introverted boys – such as Wonwoo or Soonyoung (who’s the shyest of the band, surprisingly) have opened to you. What you have realized in this little time together is that there is a snippet of Jeonghan in every single one of them. And that makes them feel like home, as if they always were just this much to you.

That’s how you find yourself, enjoying the night away, as it is still young, with 13 boys. You and Booseoksoon, which you have learned are the entertainers of Seventeen, enjoyed the karaoke together, singing at least 5 songs before the eyes of the other boys whom are clearly amused. A few times Chan joins you four to add some humor to the performance - and Seungkwan squeals every time or Jihoon adds some of his beautiful notes into the background. You have spent most of your night away from your boyfriend as he watches you from the couch, smiling and giggling, a beer in hand, at the way you are getting along so well with his favorite people in the world. It truly is a gift to see you this happy with the ones that made him into who he is.

As the night get deeper and colder, you find yourself at the campfire with most of the 13 boys – some of them being too tired to continue the night, to settle down and talk some more. Sat down on Jeonghan’s lap, in one of his comfiest hoodies, you talk and laugh with the boys as they share some of their funniest stories. You think your favorite one so far is about the famous Dokyeom and Seungkwan fight in Jeju.

It’s after almost an hour outside that you feel Jeonghan pulling you closer by the waist, resting his head on your back.

“Angel,” you hear him whisper softly.

“Hm, what is it, Hannie?” you answer quietly, turning around a little to see him look up to you with doe eyes.

"Are you enjoying tonight?" your boyfriend asks you, his eyes shining so much you wonder if the galaxy didn't find a home within him.

"Yeah, I am!" you tell him with a shy smile, knowing he's going to tease you with an I told you so even though it never comes. You see Jeonghan thinking about his next words, the teasing still ever present in his eyes when you hear a voice calling for you.

"Y/N!" Dokyeom says loudly to catch your attention, "Come talk with us!" he adds, sitting next to Seungkwan. You give them a thumbs up before turning around in Jeonghan's embrace, giving him a kiss on the cheek and squeezing his hand.

You spend the next hour or so sat down with Dokyeom and Seungkwan as you talk and laugh as if you knew each other for years. You only look up once or twice to look at your boyfriend, your eyes locking every time. If you were more attentive to him, you'd see how he'd be distracted by you, not being able to hold a conversation with anyone, including Seungcheol. He knew, when he first asked you to meet his members, that it would pull at his heartstrings. Despite all your beliefs, he knew you would fit in just well and they would welcome you with arms wide open.

He never really took the time to think about what it could mean for him. To see his favorite people love each other this much. He was hit with a wave of familiarity at the scene, as if his life always was like this, as if you were always just right by his side. However, what hit him the most at this instant, as he hears your laugh meld with Dokyeom's, was love. For some months he had been thinking of how much he loves you; he felt it mostly when you'd cook his favorite meal for him after he'd tell you practice was hard on this day, he could feel it in the way his heart would miss a beat when your eyes crinkle up in a smile or when you'd cling to his shirt, when he joins you in the middle of the night, making butterflies erupt in his stomach. But the moment he could feel it the most was right now: seeing you be your true self around his own people made him realize he wanted to provide this safe place for you for as long as you wanted him to. If you needed an island to rest on, he will be one for you.

It's after a few minutes, when Dokyeom decides to go to sleep and Seungkwan gets in a chaotic conversation with Chan, that you join him again, finding rest on his lap once more. As you talk lively with Seungcheol, the idea of playing mafia game pops up in the conversation which gets everyone excited.

After 2 mafia games - one won by Jeonghan as a mafia, the other one by the mafias again, which you were a part of, you can feel the sleepiness seeping through your bones. As you and your boyfriend were already eliminated from the current game, you fully let yourself rest against your boyfriend, your head in the crook of his neck, his hands keeping you still at the waist. You feel yourself drowsing off to the sound of Jeonghan's laughter, losing it at some of the boys' competitiveness.

"Baby," he whispers in your ear, "do you want to go to bed?"

"No, no," you whimper, shaking your head slightly, "Wanna stay here. With you." you confirm, grabbing his hand tightly.

"Okay, angel." he says in a short chuckle, "But let me know when you want to go, hm?"

"I will, don't worry. Thank you, Hannie." you say sweetly, looking at him. The stars found a home in her eyes, Jeonghan thinks to himself.

"I love you." he says in a mutter, entirely to himself, thinking you're already dozing back to sleep.

Yet, he hears your giggle and feel the smile forming as your cheeks hit the curve of his neck.

"I love you too," you answer, still giggling. "Why are you saying this so suddenly?" you murmur, hiding your head deeper in his neck so no one can see the blush covering your cheeks.

"First of all, I didn't think you'd hear that and-" he says in a pout, as you look up at him, seeing a blush on his face.

"I can't believe the Yoon Jeonghan is blushing." you tease softly as you start to play with his fingers.

"And-" Jeonghan starts again, ignoring your teasing - even though a small smile makes its way on his lips, "I do really love you. Seeing you tonight, with all of them, tugged at my heartstrings." He explains, brushing your hair out of your face, "I felt like you were comfortable around them and it just makes me want to have countless days and nights with all of you. I just realized how I want to be with you forever." he confesses, still looking down at you, your eyes welling up with tears at his words.

"You know, why I felt this comfortable tonight?" you ask, waiting for his answer which comes in a shake of his head, "Because they really feel like you. Not in the I'm-in-love-with-you way- because yeah, I am in love with you, but- I just see parts of you within them. In their actions, in their kindnesses, in their words; that's why I felt so safe. They are people you love," you say as look around to see them still playing mafia game - Mingyu on his knees, begging Seungkwan not to kill him, making you snort, "You all grew up together, you taught each other how to be good people, and you did it pretty well. I don't think there'd be a single soul who would not feel safe with any of you." you tell him, holding his hand, "I was nervous about meeting them all, I wanted them to like me but tonight I realized it would be pretty damn hard to be hated by them-" you chuckle softly, your eyes meeting, "That's why I was so myself tonight."

"They'd never hate you." he whispers, "Not because they are good people - God only knows these idiots can be petty as well," he sneers, all the love in the world showing up in his eyes, "but because they saw how you made me happy, day after day. And that was enough for them to love you. It will always be enough." he tells you, eyes still locked, "Also- I am in love with you too." he adds as Seungkwan screams out in despair for losing while Chan stands up and does a silly dance to celebrate his victory, making you both laugh out loud at their antics. You look up briefly at the sky, seeing the stars still shining bright even though it is becoming brighter as the minutes passes by. I don't think I will be able to sleep anytime soon, you think to yourself as you feel your heart buzz with excitement, your boyfriend pulling you closer by the waist. But after all, as 13 boys once said, our dawn is hotter than day.

thank you so much for reading! i hope you liked it 🫶

[illicitlimerence-writes]

secret keeper | m. schumacher

pairing: mick schumacher x driver!teammate!reader word count: 2.1k words (i really wanted all of these to be short lol sorry) request: don’t think so! prompt: doing secret santa ⎯ “just tell me who got me.” from this prompt list. not my prompts, credits to the person who created it!warnings: kinda crack!fic, idk. language, really fluffy, seb being great, special appearance by the spanish speaking gang (i had to). reader speaks spanish in this. a/n: here’s day 2! i hope you like it, pls let me know what you think! reminder that my requests are closed.

my masterlist

(you'll know why i chose this gif later lol)

doing secret santa was the most exciting part of the year for her. it was something so silly and it made her so happy, the thought of having someone actually think deep about what they felt she’d really enjoy was a thrilling one.

something she didn’t quite like about secret santa was that first part. the secret. whilst she did like surprises, and there were only a few limited options as to who might give her something, the anticipation was too much for her. 

her teammate, mick, had made a bet with himself, to see how long it’d take her to either figure out or start interrogating everyone until they told her who her secret santa was. at first he gave it ten minutes, but he laughed to himself as he watched her.

they were doing the standard start-of-year interviews, the drivers’ goals and predictions, and the secret santa name draw. mick had already finished his, and was waiting for her so they could go and have lunch together. normally they’d wait longer to do the name draw, but last year the organizers had left it till the last minute, and they didn’t want to risk it this time. plus, they’d have a whole season ahead of them to think really well about the gift.

“okay, (y/n), i’ve got this santa hat here-” the interviewer said, showing her the hat.

“ooh, christmas in march, i like it!” she laughed.

“and in here there’s the names of the other drivers available for the gift exchange,” she nodded at the interviewer.

“i like that we’re doing this right at the start of the season,” she chuckled, grabbing the hat by the white fluff, the pom pom hanging down, “but i can assure you, more than one person will wait until the day before to get their gift,” the people around her laughed, mick did, too. “why are you laughing? did you feel called out?” she asked mick, raising an eyebrow. a camera panned to him, shaking his head at her.

“i already know what i’m going to get,”

“ooh, tell me, tell me!” she rushed to him, moving her hair away from her ear. he leaned in, presing his lips close to her ear.

“no.”

she rolled her eyes, slapping the back of his head. 

“did you get seb?” she asked walking back to the spot where she was supposed to be, where all the cameras were ready to record her. she hadn’t arrived in time to see his secret santa segment, so she’d have to find out another way.

“i’m not going to tell you!” he laughed, as the interviewer shook her head.

“you’re not supposed to tell each other, or anyone,” she clarified. 

“ugh, fine.” she laughed, “sorry,” she apologized, and placed her hand in, “wait, then he should leave! or he’ll know who i get,” she pointed an accusatory finger at him. “what if i get him?”

“someone else already got mick,” the interviewer clarified, and her shoulders slumped a little, it wasn’t a lie that the two of them were the closest friends and teammates, but she wouldn’t let that discourage her. 

“dang it, what am i going to do with all those treats i got for angie, then?” she teased, mick laughed. “so sorry, i know this is taking way longer than it should’ve. i promise i’ll focus now.” she nodded, “you can stay, just promise not to tell anyone,” she told mick, who pretended to zip his lips together.

she ran her fingers through all the folded pieces of paper, finally picking one that called to her. she unfolded it, her eyes opening wide as she read. 

“hell yes!” she skipped from one foot to the other, jumping in excitement, “i got seb!” she declared happily, showing the paper to everyone. “ha-ha!” she mocked mick, who only rolled his eyes as he laughed. the two of them were the best of friends. they grew up together, and had been teammates since they were in f3, somehow they always found their way back to each other. suddenly her eyes snapped open, “did you get me?” she gasped. mick shook his head. “did he get me?” she asked the rest of the crew behind the cameras, who only laughed at her eagerness, but didn’t answer. “fine, if you could just tell whoever got me that my favorite color is blue, that would be great, thanks!”

-

months passed and as the end of season approached, her relentlessness to know who her secret santa was came back with as much as before. this time, mick wasn’t her only victim.

it started in mexico city, when she was walking alongside charles and lando, and someone from charles’ team approached him.

“hey, charles, just to remind you that the deadline for the secret santa gift is in brazil.” he said, leaving them after that.

“you haven’t turned in your gift?” she asked, she’d done it the week before, when she was finally done packing the perfect gift for sebastian. her mentor. 

“i honestly forgot about it,” he said, lando laughed, drinking from his water bottle. something shifted in her eyes as an idea popped in her head.

“well, i could help you!” she offered, blinking slowly to gain his attention.

“really?” he asked, feeling like a weight was being lifted off his shoulders, “thanks i honestly didn’t know what to get-” he was about to say the name of his secret santa, but lando elbowed him on the ribs.

“you can’t say it!” he scolded him, chuckling at her enraged face.

“lando you ass! he was about to tell me!” she grunted, grabbing charles’ face and directing his eyes to her. “tell me charles, who’s your secret santa?”

“no! i can’t say,” he shook his head, feeling something in the pit of his stomach as her eyes narrowed. 

“did you get me? do you know who got me?” she asked, shaking his shoulders dramatically. lando laughed, charles was trying his hardest to keep a straight face. 

“no, and no!” he said, she grunted, and moved on to lando.

“do you know, norris?” she asked.

“no. i don’t know. and i didn’t get you.”

“you didn’t?” she asked, at least if he denied it she could tick him off his list.

“i don’t know,” he said, shrugging and smiling sheepishly. 

she punched his shoulder and walked away, both drivers hurried after her. 

-

finally, in abu dhabi things got a little bit sweeter. the dinner to honor sebastian was a perfect opportunity for her to really tick people off her list of suspects, up until that point the only person off her list was herself. she hadn’t made that much progress. she had to be smart about it, she couldn’t just straight up ask someone about it, much less if her friends were listening to her.

thankfully, as they were about to leave and were all gathering to take a picture, they all started talking about their agendas for the next day.

“i’m doing the secret santa thing early tomorrow, thankfully,” she heard fernando say, in spanish, he was talking to the other spanish-speakers of the grid. she thanked the stars for her stubbornness, and her parents for listening to her when she said she wanted to learn as many languages as she could. spanish, of course, french, italian, english, and german. this was her shot, and if she were alone, she would’ve grinned like the grinch. she approached them, slowly, and listened to them. “after that i’m completely free.”

“free of what?” she popped in.

“media duties,” he explained, smiling.

“ugh, i’m busy all day. i think they left my secret santa segment for last.”

“well, of course, everyone knows how much you love that thing,” checo said.

“that’s true, i know,” she chuckled. “did you guys struggle to get your gift?”

“not really, mine is an inside joke with max,” checo shrugged, the name slipping from his lips without him noticing.

“aw that’s nice,” she smiled, feeling carlos looking at her.

“i’m not going to tell you who i got.”

“why? did you get me?” she tried, but carlos shook his head.

“i don’t mind, if it will help you sleep better. i didn’t get you,” fernando admitted, she looked at him gratefully.

“see, carlos? that’s what a good friend does!” she pointed at fernando, “thank you.”

mick called her name, she excused herself and walked to him, feeling his arm around her shoulders. 

“what are you doing?” he asked accusatorily. 

“we can tick checo and fernando off my list,” she gave him a smug smile, clearly content with her work for the night.

“you’re just not letting this go are you?” he asked, amused at her stubbornness, it didn’t surprise him, he knew her like the back of his hand, but it was still nice to see her trying her hardest to figure this out.

“this all can end if you just tell me who got me.” she said, leaning her head against his shoulder as everyone else gathered around, getting ready for the group picture. 

“you’ll know tomorrow. don’t worry.” he reassured her. she sighed.

-

the next day, mick and (y/n) were like two kids, she’d wanted to watch seb open the present she got him, and had convinced mick to help her make it happen in a way that wouldn’t be so obvious. it didn’t take that much to find a way to stay and watch seb.

they just found him as they walked pass, and asked if they could stay. the lady in charge of all of the f1 media just asked them to stay quiet.

“oh, this is very nice,” seb smiled as he took out the first present, “didn’t we have like $30 limit?” he chuckled, (y/n) and mick laughed too. the last gift was a dead giveaway, a picture of her, mick, and seb. when the two young drivers were just kids, barely starting karting against each other. it was from the first time they met sebastian in a “professional” environment. “oh, well, i think i know who this is from,” he grinned, his eyes darting to the two of them, with mick confused and (y/n) with a big smile on her face. he showed the picture to the camera, a different camera panning to the two haas drivers. “judging by their faces i’d say this is from (y/n),” he guessed. 

she nodded her head, and walked to him when he opened his arms for her. they hugged each other, she was going to miss him so much. he’d always been there for her. all throughout her career and her personal life. she looked up to him, admired him and everything he worked for, what he stood for. 

“thank you, dear, i loved all of my gifts,” she smiled, proud of herself. 

“thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” 

-

after an excruciatingly long day, it was her turn to film her secret santa section.

“i really hope you add a special montage of every time i’ve risked my life, and others’, trying to figure out who got me in this gift exchange,” she only half-joked, but it helped ease the mood with everyone around. mick, as usual, was sitting next to her, on the other side of the cameras.

“we’ll make sure of it,” the f1 producer nodded, making a mental note to check all the footage. once the cameras started rolling officially, she got her signature smile on, “(y/n), welcome to the 2022 f1 secret santa. i know this is something you’ve been looking forward all year long,” she nodded her head, “i won’t make you wait much longer so, here you go,” she was handed a small box, and her first instinct was to shake it to see if it made any noise.

“i hear a faint jingling.” she said, unwrapping the blue ribbon around the black box. “it’s blue! thanks santa!” she smiled, remembering the comment she’d made about her favorite color. “oh, whoa-” her eyes widened as she saw the gift. it was a necklace, with the outline of a track hanging in the middle. “it’s spa!” she giggled, recognizing the twists and turns. “oh my god, this is so nice, i-” her eyes widened as she stared at it, a light flush had creeped its way up to her cheeks. “oh, gosh, i-” she was at a loss for words, she was expecting maybe a gift that was partly a joke, or something small. this was too much. “i don’t think i can accept this.”

“do you have any clue as to who it might be?” they asked her, she was still too shocked to think.

“no. well, i mean the only person that pops in my head that might be this thoughtful is either mick or seb, but i guess maybe charles, too? i know he’s sponsored by a jewelry company,”

“you’re so close,” they told her. 

“pierre?” she guessed, it didn’t really make sense, he didn’t know that spa was her favorite track, well, to her knowledge.

“not quite,” she sighed.

“i don’t know. i-” she turned her head, seeing mick looking at her, throughout the entire time he could feel his eyes on her, it wasn’t anything different. but she saw a faint blush on his cheeks, his ears. “oh my god. no. are you shitting me?” she asked him, directly, not even looking at the cameras. “it was you? it’s been you this entire time?” she asked. and mick couldn’t hide it anymore, he smiled, nodding. “mick!” she ran to him, he stood up as she approached him and she jumped in his arms. “thank you, i love it,” she said.

“i’m glad you liked it,” he said, suddenly becoming shy under all of the stares.

once she returned to her spot, she couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. her fingers were playing with the chain that now hung from her neck. 

“how’d you know it was mick?” they asked her.

“well, not many people know that my favorite track is spa. i mean, they probably wouldn’t think it is given my bad luck there,” she said, referring to the fiasco last year and her dnf of that year after having a great race. “and he blushes a lot,” she added, chuckling. 

they hurried the rest of the video, as she thanked him once more, this time in front of the cameras. 

-

“i should’ve known,” she said as she shook her head. “i knew there was a reason you weren’t telling me.”

“ah, well, i had to keep the secret,” he chuckled. 

“i really love this, mick, thank you. you really didn’t have to get me something so…”

“oh, you’ll just have to wait and see what i’ve got in store for christmas,” he smiled, leaving her stunned there as he kept walking.

“what do you mean? you got my gift already?!” she asked, rushing to him again.

“i don’t know,” he shrugged, “maybe,” he said as he got into the elevator.

“what is it? can you give me a clue?” she asked.

“hmm… i can just say you’re going to love it,” mick smiled, already looking forward to their christmas trip, one that could possibly change the course of their friendship, possibly changing to something more. being her secret santa wasn’t the only secret mick was keeping.

[love-toxin]

yes pls tell me all ur thoughts on blade, luocha, gepard, jingyuan and kafka 😳 the eng va and trailers for jingyuan and kafka in particular got me acting up—just smthing about jingyuan’s lil smirk and laid bk countenance and how i know he can fuck the daylights out of anyone effortlessly—and kafka? yes ma’am anything for u pls slam ur foot against the wall behind me 🙏🏻

god bless im literally in love w/ all of them anon. would give my left nut for blade, luocha or jing yuan, gepard and kafka carry my team so hard. also bc i want them to step on my face.

also i wanna be toxic rn so under the cut ⬇️⬇️

blade -> prrrrrrrrr. big daddy. idk why but he gives me discord kitten daddy dom vibes. he manspreads. he gets pussy. he probably doesn't shower as often as he should. he's unapologetically a rude bitch. he absolutely girlbosses you into being his baby, he pulls out the "i feel nothing but you give me a taste of life" and keeps you so close you're basically part of him. handsy and off-putting in public for passersby but you can't get his hands off you, it's a losing battle babe. nd he's nasty freaky slimy and rubs his cock against you as a sign he wants to go home or just find someplace quiet. he doesn't like fucking you out in the open but he'll do it if the need arises--like if you "forget" that your body & soul belongs to him and need a harsh reminder. you're just his delicate little kitty after all, so if anyone's gonna break you it should be someone you love unconditionally. right?

kafka -> gatekeep. gaslight. girldaddy. beats you up and makes you say thank you. you're her pet so get used to it, but she'll feed you once in a while so you should be glad, puppy. she's the mean tall girlfriend who babies you and then spits in your mouth for a treat. her & blade treat you like a pet and if she's feeling extra mean she strips you down and makes you kneel between them with nothing to cover yourself. if you're good and give them a lil show they'll let you go early, they promise (lie). humping kafka's pillow to get your scent all over it becomes a nightly ritual to help her sleep, no it is non-negotiable, it is in your spouses' contract that she signed with your hand while you slept. it also states that your face may be used in any and all leisure activities at her discretion--mainly for her to push your head between her legs and lazily give you an order as she sifts through documents. you might be her pet, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. at least as far as you can tell.

luocha -> ngl idk that much about him yet but he's immediately unhinged bf-shaped. stupid and drunk on thoughts of you & gives you his credit card details on the first date. he's gross and wants to bite your thighs. begging to be drowned in pussy/choked with cock. you're so pretty and he's so dirty by comparison. he can't blame you for not wanting his gross dick anywhere near you, guess all he can do is eat you out <33 oh noooooo! what a tragedy! sike. he loves that shit. he's got meds to make you squirt too. ik he's not that kinda healer but don't tell me unhinged luocha wouldn't have a ball drugging you both up and taking you for a ride. he wouldn't even know his name once the high dies down, just the feeling of your lips leaving stray kisses all down his face as you try to stay awake.

jing yuan -> daddy 2.0. a dilf with no kids. 1000% goes into husband mode the second you're within reach. chill & soft & uwu until everyone's outta the office, then he becomes a menace to society and your underwear. he cums in them before you leave for the day so you don't forget him <3 you can have a cheeky one in your mouth on his lunch break if you're good. ♀️ he beats your pussy up cock-first for hurting his bbg with your period. he still doesn't get enough of you in the day so he creeps on you at night, rubs one out on your thighs while you sleep and flips over to go right back to snoring afterwards. you can never have too much cum on you--that's his wisdom and as your superior general you should probably believe it, no? don't worry, he can fuck with your job and your life and your friends and your money and your heart until you find it within yourself to agree.

gepard -> dummy boy goody-two-shoes. he likes fuckin in the uniform and being called "captain" i am not taking criticism at this time. dumb little captured stellaron hunter & horny silvermane captain roleplay. moans in your ear during sex. he moans like a girl and he hates it but it's hot and he cums 10x faster if you tell him just how hot it is. he's so big & tall he just makes you feel like a little bunch of grapes when he picks you up, nd he's self-conscious about how weird it is that he likes seeing your face scrunch up in pain when he eases you on his cock but it's just too big. the gravity makes it all feel too much when he sits you on his lap like that but you just wiggle around on it rather than get off, and he's a fiend for it. also consider clean, prim, missionary-lover gepard falling in love with rimming you & feeling like a dirty mutt for enjoying it so much & begging you for it when he's in need. asking him to take a shower with you turns into code for "let's do anal against the tile please" real quick.

[onskepa]

Na'vi Children with humans

Hellooooo, so I have done a poly, then a single two pair, now I was thinking what other's I could do. So then, I thought of the children. Now for this I will admit, I did pull ideas from other fellow tumblr users. I will tag them by the end of the list. As well as the other two previous headcanons that I did in case you are all interested. If you would like to use this list for inspiration or use it in your fics, I don't mind, but please credit me. Now that's out of the way, LETS GO!

----------------------------

[ FYI I pulled this off the internet, if this is yours pls let me know so I can tag ya]

Na'vi children I would say, would live as normal as na'vi life can be, be it hybrid, or full bloodied, despite having a human for a parent.

I can imagine them be really close to their human parent, enjoy the facial expressions, soft warmth the human provides, and since their Na'vi parent is always busy, they have their human parent to enjoy and have fun time with.

The human parent would tell human children stories, sing classical nursery songs, and possibly games they grew up with.

If the human were to explore or doing something around the village, the Na'vi children would obviously follow them very closely, and simply being happy being near their smaller parent.

I can see the na'vi kids being jealous of just about anyone. Be it their other parent or other kids taking their human parent attention away from them. Might hiss or yell in frustration.

If they could, they would cling on to them for the rest of their lives.

Of course would spend every minute with not just their human parent but as well as their na'vi parent. Spending family time together.

If the Na'vi children were to have human features, should they feel a bit insecure about their oddities, their human parent would support and uplift their confidence. Telling them its another addition of them simply being unique.

When growing up and doing their Iknimaya, the Na'vi children would no doubt feel pressured in some way to perfect their skills, be it in hunting or healing, or in some other way, their worries will always be there.

While yes their Na'vi parent will always be their to support them, the human parent is more like a support that Na'vi kids seek.

Refuse to do their duties without a loving kiss and hug from their human parent. Tends to be physically affectionate with their human parent.

Saying anything bad about their human parent, both Na'vi child and mate would pounce and silence those who speak ill of their human.

As the Na'vi kids get older and taller, easily over towering their human parent, they will share the same instinct as their na'vi parent to protect their human parent as they are smaller and can easily hurt themselves.

The Na'vi parent would absolutely tell how their kids how to fight back others if other na'vi they hurt their human parent, and how to protect them should the Na'vi parent not be there.

No matter how old the Na'vi kids are, even if they are now adults, they will still seek out their human parent, if the now grown up Na'vi have kids of their own, the human parent, now grandparent, would be there for the new generation until their time ends.

Now again, I might add or change things. Idk. But that is all. This one is special, all thanks to these people, check out their materials too!

@hinataashoyos @i-thirsty-boi @mandomaterial @sunandsstars @avatarbyamara @star-girl69 @wholelottawidows https://www.tumblr.com/byunpum

Now after this one, I am not sure what else to do. Still got no story to say, I dont mind suggestion! Hope you all liked it! And if you haven't read the other two, here are the links to them!

[chuluoyi]

heyyy so there's this person who is translating your works on wattpad and I'm pretty sure you didn't give them authorization so yeah here it is

user @lvsedd and the story name is "revenge"

also they have other work (name: paradise jujutsu kaisen) with multiple translations of other authors but I couldn't find them here :/ if anyone wanna help pls

unauthorized translation/plagiarism

thank you for letting me know! and i most certainly don’t give any permission to translate anywhere, and i don’t understand spanish but they seem to copy my “the deposed empress remarries” series and make it into many chapters and retitle it as “revenge” instead

since june? gosh. this user lvsedd in wattpad do put me in credits as the original author but no, this is not how you do it. it’s still called stealing for your own convenience

to others out there who plan to do the same/have thoughts of plagiarism and whatnot, please stop doing this kind of things. it’s very discouraging to the original author. even tho this is just some hobby, i do put a lot of time into writing fics. this is very, very unpleasant to look at and it makes me get mixed feelings bc it’s the same as feeling your work is recognized as someone else’s. how would you feel if it happens to you?

please just be decent even in online space. you can be inspired by someone else’s works but don’t copy the whole material. the very least you can do is ask for their permission and respect it if they don’t give it. and in this case, i’ve never even been asked and to suddenly see this makes me reconsider even writing altogether bc why should i when it’s so easily stolen anyway?

and then i also checked out their oneshots library called “paradise” and found my and several other fic writers’ oneshots being copied and translated too since 2023 without credits even — THIS IS PLAIN PLAGIARISM

this is just disheartening. other fic authors please watch out for your fics in this book! and by the end of this, i’d suggest just report them altogether

[mokkacci]

in few days i'll be finishing my exams so i'll be able to draw again and finish shin's and ruki's birthday drawing (i'm felling so sad that i couldn't make them on time༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ)

in the meanwhile: this naked ruki i did some time ago, based on a famous painting of lucifer. i really like mixing this kind of "angelic" aesthetic with him (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

(also if anyone know the name and author of this painting pls let me know so i can credit them!)

[halsteadlover]

Shadows From The Past

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by anon: I don’t really know if this is how you make a request if it’s not correct me but would you possibly be able to write one where Jay has an episode because of a criminal that took tours in Afghanistan as well, like an episode in the show in season 5 I think. Where the criminal gets shot and dies and J is the only one there and you go to check up on him and he points gun at you because he’s having an episode idk I really don’t know, but could it end in him apologizing a lot and feeling really bad then just cuddles?? Thank u and uh if you see this could you pls just remind me when it’s done possibly. Thank you so much!!!❤️

• Warnings: mention of blood, gun, PTSD.

• Word count: 5825.

• A/N: hi everyone! Long time no see. I know this is ugly af but I tried my best. I hope you’ll like this piece anyway, please let me know what you think. Comment, like, reblog if you want this would be amazing! Thank you so much for your support, and for everyone who stayed even if I upload once every 100 years 😭 I love you all so much ❤️

Jay had always tried to do his job the best he could, giving everything in his power to every case he worked on, always trying to focus on nothing but bringing justice to the poor victims. He had always tried to be as objective as possible, leaving emotions out and thinking and planning every move to make lucidly. Some cases were easier, others a little less.

There were moments of his life, some shadows of his past, that still echoed in his present. They sometimes came back so strong and overbearing, they made him risk his present, all his progress and happiness, even his future.

And the case he was working on was one of those moments.

Following the discovery of a man's body, Intelligence was assigned to investigate this case. After questioning witnesses, analyzing the victim's life, talking to family and friends, suspicion fell on a person Jay met while serving overseas in Afghanistan. In fact, Don Stanton had served in the 3rd Battalion of the 75th Ranger Regiment at the same time as Jay, but he had never had the opportunity to speak in depth with him.

In fact, after returning home, Don didn't do too well, soon spiraling into drug, alcohol and illegal dealings.

From the moment they found out about this suspect, Jay felt something stir inside him, though he didn't know exactly what. He tried to disguise it or he would’ve estranged from the case but he couldn't hide his feelings from you, who knew him like the back of your hand and had learned to know every single nuance of him and recognize when something bothered him.

To try to get Don to confess, Jay offered to go undercover, build a relationship with him in a way that would make him trust him, and no one could be perfect for this role except someone who had gone through the exact same shit during the war as Jay.

It goes without saying that you didn’t agree with this decision at all and Voight would’ve even agreed with you if this wasn’t the only lead you got to catch the killer.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you asked Jay as you adjusted his hidden microphone in his shirt. “You can always back out, someone else will go or we will find other leads to catch him.”

Jay sighed. “It's an undercover operation like any other Y/N, if anyone can do it it's me.”

You looked up at him, your hands still on his chest as you tried to analyze his expression on his face. “No baby, it's not an operation like any other. The suspect served in your own battalion, you met him and you can tell from a mile away you're upset about…-”

“Goddamn Y/N stop it! You've been asking me if I'm okay since this morning! I'm fine, I don't need a babysitter!” he snapped raising his voice and this sudden outburst made you withdraw your hands in shock.

Jay immediately regretted those words the instant he said them. He noticed the sad expression that appeared on your features and felt guilty like few other times in his life. “Baby… Shit…” he sighed again, running his hands over his face in frustration. He cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I don't know what has gotten into me. I’m sorry baby.”

You remained silent for a few seconds, looking at him for a moment before speaking. “Jay I'm just worried about you, I know it's hard for you but I want to help you… It breaks my heart seeing you like this,” you mumbled softly, your throat tight in a knot, your heart heavy.

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry love. Come here,” he whispered, pulling you into a hug and holding you with all the love he could. “It'll be okay. I can do it. You don't know what people like him are like, like me, he won't trust anyone and if there's someone who can make him confess it’s me. We served together, we saw the same crap, I can understand him,” he continued, pulling away from the hug and looking into your eyes.

You looked at him intensely, as if you wanted to read inside him, trying to discover a shred of hesitation or uncertainty.

“Jay, you are not like him, he is an alleged murderer, drug addict and alcoholic, you are a decorated detective. Don't even think for a second you're like him, okay?”.

He caressed your hair, and then nodded, smiling slightly. “I know, I know.”

“If something, anything, goes wrong you're out, you understand me?” you threatened him, pointing a finger at his chest.

He chuckled, caressing your cheeks. “Yes ma'am. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

If only he believed it too.

The truth was, Jay's mind was racing and image after image, memory after memory, everything seemed to be resurfacing, moments of the past he wanted to forget at all costs but which was about to overwhelm him like a river in flood.

He didn't want to talk to you about it, he knew he'd get over it – just like he had all time – he didn't want to worry you any more than you already were.

While he was in the car waiting for Don Stanton to show up, he read the message you sent and a small smile crept onto his lips.

From Baby D💕, 3.13pm

Be careful love. I'm here for whatever you need. I love you.

That message made the abyss in his heart grow and a feeling of guilt took over him. But the way he loved you, God, he didn’t know what he would’ve done without you.

From Jay, 3:16pm

I love you too babe, more than anything and everyone. Everything will be okay.

He put the cell phone back in his trouser pocket, trying to concentrate exclusively on the case. He sat in the car for about ten minutes before seeing Don in the distance. He looked around suspiciously before approaching Jay's car and quickly getting in.

“Drive,” Don ordered, and Jay gave him a confused look.

“Where? What is going on?”.

Don snapped his eyes at Jay. “Didn't you say you wanted a job? Drive then. Go straight, at the first crossroads turn left, I'll tell you from there where to go next.”

Jay understood there was no way to get an explanation and after letting out a sigh, he started driving, aware that you and the rest of the team would’ve followed him from afar.

After driving for about twenty minutes, he and Don arrived at an abandoned building. It looked shabby and it must’ve been unused for at least twenty years.

“What the hell is going on Stanton?” Jay asked, for the umpteenth time. Don stopped in his footsteps, turning to him, looking annoyed and angry.

“What part of ‘I'll explain in a moment’ you don’t understand?”.

“I won’t do anything until you explain to me what hell is going on. This place is clearly a mile away from legality and I'm not risking my ass for whatever bullshit is going on here. So either tell me what's going on or I'm out.”

Don sighed, glancing between Jay and the building, looking uncertain, even almost frightened. Jay noticed this and realized whatever was going on, they weren't alone and that there was nothing good about that abandoned building.

He approached Jay, walking fast and hands in his trouser pockets. “Then leave.”

“C'mon man talk to me...”.

“Damn it! I'm in deep shit man, I can't back out!” he exclaimed in despair.

“Why? What did you do?”.

They were all at the edge of their chairs as they listened through Jay's microphone conversation, knowing that a little nudge was enough to get Don Stanton to confess.

“Don, talk to me. I can help you, I know you're not doing well, I totally understand. You don't have to do anything, whatever it is...”

“You can't help me… I… I fucking killed a man!” Stanton exclaimed loudly, running his hands through his hair “But it wasn't my fault! They forced me! I… I really needed the money…”

There were some moments of silence in which you and Voight exchanged a look. He confessed, but why didn't Jay arrest him?

“What are we going to do here Don?” Jay asked, trying to stay calm as his heart was pounding.

“They gave me another job. A gang member… They want me to kill him and they’ll pay me almost ten thousand dollars.”

“Don, for fucks sale! No life is worth this money! How can you do this? You were a fucking soldier, you risked your life to protect others, to protect this country and now you're the one hurting people!” Jay exclaimed, more angrily than he would’ve liked.

“I know! I know! They've foreclosed on my house… I'm out of money… I need it man…” Don muttered.

“Halstead what are you waiting for? Handcuff him,” Voight ordered over his mic but Jay didn't seem to listen, in fact, he didn't even seem to be on this planet anymore.

You were worried sick, your stomach was in a vice. You knew Jay couldn't do this, he was too involved to be able to deal with all of this, to deal with his past.

“Voight we have to do something,” you said, turning to your now impatient boss.

“Let's just wait few seconds.”

But when you saw Jay enter the building your heart stopped for an instant and fear took over. Before Voight could say anything, you leapt out of the car at lightning speed, waiting for no one, thinking of no one but Jay.

You pulled out your gun from your holster before entering the abandoned building. It was larger than it appeared externally and at first sight there was no sign of Jay.

Your heart was beating so hard you could hear it pounding in your ears and with every step you took, fear ate you more and more. What the hell was he thinking? Why did he come in here alone with a criminal?

As you climbed the creaking stairs to the first floor, a shot rang out from the walls and you jumped. “Oh my god,” you murmured in a trembling voice before starting to run as fast as possible towards the place where the shot came from. Your mind began to project images of Jay lying in a pool of his own blood, dying, and the very thought made you die inside.

God let him be okay, please.

Once you climbed to the third floor, however, you saw him in the distance but before you could take a step towards him or even take a sigh of relief, a bullet was fired in your direction, forcing you to take cover behind a pillar.

A gun fight with some men ensued, and though you knew you had to focus on saving your own life, you couldn't help but glance at Jay from time to time, noticing him hunched over Don Stanton, trying to revive him.

The rest of the squad arrived at that moment and you managed to take down three men who were shooting at you. You approached Jay while the others explored the rest of the building for anything suspect.

“Jay,” you called but he didn't seem to hear you as he tried to stop Stanton's bleeding, “Jay,” you called him out again but still nothing, no answer. So you placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to make him aware of your presence but that touch made him stiffen and you almost had a heart attack when he pulled out his gun and turned, pointing it at you.

“Woah!” you exclaimed loudly, spontaneously raising your hands to let him know you were unarmed, “Jay, what the hell are you doing?!”.

His gaze was fixed on you but he wasn't really looking at you, his eyes were empty, without the light that characterizes them, his forehead was wet with sweat as his chest rose and fell quickly as if he had run a marathon.

“Jay put that gun down. It's just me. Can you hear me? Everything is fine.”

You continued to speak but your voice reached far into his ears which continued to ring incessantly. You didn't dare take a wrong step, or try to get him to put down his gun because you knew Jay wasn't there right now, that his mind was unconscious and his body uncontrollable. He was still in war and he saw you like an enemy and not his girlfriend.

But that didn't make the moment any less scary.

Jay, the person you most trusted in the world, with whom you felt safest, was pointing a gun at you and anything could trigger him to shoot you. You've never felt so small and helpless, even after facing the most dangerous and depraved criminals, you felt so scared and intimidated.

He'd had similar episodes, where the PTSD made him lose touch with reality, but he'd never come to that, never pointing a gun at you and threatening to hurt you.

“Jay!” you almost screamed and only then did Jay seem to come to his senses.

When he realized he was pointing his gun at you a wave of guilt fully overwhelmed him and he dropped the gun from his hands in disbelief at what he had just done.

What the hell had he been up to? Was he really point a gun at you? The love of his life?

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe he was capable of doing such a thing and as he watched your face contorted in an expression of pure fear and terror, as he watched you back away until you ran away, he realized he seriously needed help.

-

The case was finally closed but never like then it left you an unbridgeable abyss inside you.

Since you'd left that building you'd been trying to avoid Jay even though he'd been trying hard to talk to you. You knew it wasn't his fault, that what happened was just a consequence of everything he'd been through, that knowingly he wouldn't do anything that could hurt you.

But that episode had shocked you more than you could ever admit and the image of that gun pointed at you continued to haunt your mind.

You were at your house, sitting on the couch staring at nothing in particular, contemplating whether to respond to Jay's many texts and calls. You knew you had to talk to him, you couldn't avoid him forever, but you needed some alone time first, to digest everything that had happened.

But when the bell rang you understood this was not going to happen.

You stood up and your heart skipped a beat when you saw through the peephole it was Jay. You took a deep breath and opened the door, realizing you couldn't avoid him forever and sooner or later you had to deal with the confrontation.

Jay was a walking disaster.

He didn't know what to say, what to do, how to act and especially when he noticed the way you kept avoiding his gaze, he panicked even more. You made room for him to enter and he felt his heart break when, in an attempt to say hi, you pulled back slightly.

“Uhm… Hi… Come in,” you murmured nervously before going to sit back on the sofa.

Jay closed the door behind him, walking over and sitting next to you. You brought your knees to your chest and he didn’t miss this gesture, he didn't miss the way you tried to distance yourself from him, how you tried to protect yourself by moving away from him.

“How are you feeling?” you asked feebly, finally looking up at him and a chasm opened inside you as you saw his tired, destroyed eyes, the melancholy expression on his face.

“I'm fine but...”

“No Jay,” you interrupted him “Don't start with these lies, you know I can't stand them. You pointed a damn gun at me, you are definitely not fine.”

You knew it was tough, but it was time for him to face the shadows of his past that kept haunting him, it was time for him to face reality and realize he wasn't good at all, that he kept lying to himself and pretending to be in a state of well-being which, unfortunately, wasn’t true at all.

He sighed and it was him who lowered his gaze that time, unable to look in your eyes anymore. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans before resting his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. He was silent for a moment before returning to his previous position.

“You're right…” he murmured, almost afraid to admit it aloud, “I… I'm not okay I know, I’ve realized it… But Y/N, darling, I just want you to know I would’ve never done that… I would never hurt you…”

“Jay…” you sighed “I know that, but… But what if you won't regain control of yourself next time? What if you won’t come to your senses and shoot me?”

“No! No! Fuck… This will never happen again, I swear…”

“And how do you know this, Jay?” you asked, a lump in your throat, eyes brimming with tears as you tried to hold them back. “How do you know you’ll be able to stop the next time that in the grip of a similar episode you’ll point a gun at me again?”.

Jay had never experienced a worse feeling in his life. He always promised himself he would given his life to protect you, that he’d do everything in his power to keep you safe, that he’d rather die than know you were suffering.

He loved you more than anyone else in the world, more than he ever thought he’d love someone and knowing he was the one who tried to hurt you, destroyed him. He’d never forget the expression of fear, terror and pure shock with which you looked at him in that damned building, it would’ve haunted him forever.

“I would never hurt you Y/N, you… You are the most precious thing in my life. God, I'd die to protect you…” he babbled in desperation.

“I know, Jay. I consciously know this,” you answered, putting your feet on the ground and approaching him without touching him. “I want to help you, but...”

“But what?” he whispered, his green eyes bright with tears as he looked at you. A tear slid from your eyes onto your cheek but you immediately wiped it away before you spoke again. “You want to leave me right? You are afraid of me?”.

You remained silent for a moment.

“Y/N I… You can't leave me please, I can't do this without you, I need you. You're the only person I'm still here for, helping me through this shit… Please…”

You cried. “I have to protect myself Jay,” you wiped away another tear “I don't want to leave you, God. I love you so much…”

“But you're afraid of me,” he stated, swallowing the lump in his throat. He looked down at the floor and his shoes to try and mask the tears he couldn't control anymore and streamed down his cheeks. He stood up, suddenly feeling suffocated, and ran his hands over his face as he began pacing around the living room.

“Hey…” you said, standing up and approaching him. You placed your hands on his arms to make him stop and he directed his eyes at you. They were red and shiny from tears and God only knew how much it hurt you to see him like this, how much he didn't deserve all that suffering.

You placed your hands on his face, wiping away his tears with your thumbs. “God baby,” you whispered “I hate seeing you like this…”. He hugged you, squeezing you so tight it made you gasp for breath.

You hugged him back, putting your arms around his neck and letting yourself be cradled by that embrace. You stroked his hair while he hid his face in the hollow of your neck, letting go in a desperate and liberating cry.

“It's okay love, it's okay,” you whispered, as you too were crying, “Let's sit down.”

You sat back on the sofa and you hugged him, letting him rest his head on your chest as he let out all the anger – mostly towards himself – and sadness he felt.

“Cry all you want, I'm here. I don't want to leave, I'll always be here with you Jay,” you mumbled, caressing his hair. He wrapped his arms around your chest tighter, as if he was afraid to let you go.

“I'm so sorry my love. I didn't mean to scare you… When…” he sighed “When I realized what I was doing, the way you were looking at me…” he couldn't finish the sentence, because just remembering the expression you had in that moment pushed him over the edge again “God Y/N I will never forgive myself for what I did...” he got up, sitting on the sofa and running a hand through his hair “When I saw your face… That moment I understood I seriously need some help, I don't… I can't risk hurting you, losing you, I don't want you to be afraid of me. I want to be your safe haven, I don’t want you to doubt for even a second I can intentionally hurt you… I… I don't want you to look me with that terrified and fearful look again... I can't...”

“But I'm not afraid of you Jay, I know you were going through a lot , the case was heavy to deal with…” you tried to comfort him.

“Yes you do,” he smiled at you bitterly, eyes and nose still red from crying “No lies remember? You told me before and even now…” he tried to stop crying but failing “You hugged me and you were tense and the thing is, I can't even blame you… It's only my fault for believing all the shit the war brought me could just go away on its own and I will never be able to forgive myself for how I reacted, in that building, when you were putting my mic...”

“You weren't yourself,” you whispered.

“I know… But I won’t let you to suffer the consequences of what happens to me… But on the other hand I'm too selfish to let you go, I love you too much Y/N and I know if you're not here I… I'll never be able to face this alone.”

“But I don't want you to go through this alone,” you retorted, grabbing his hand with yours and intertwining your fingers as your eyes were on his. “Jay I will never leave you… You’re my whole life and I want to be with you at every step you take, I know it will be hard, I know it isn't easy, I know there is a long way ahead but we’ll do it together. I won't leave you alone… I was just scared in that moment, let's be honest, who wouldn't, but I don't want to abandon you, okay? I just need to know you’ll really, really, try to face these ghosts.”

“Absolutely, I don't want to hurt you anymore…”

“No baby, you don't have to do it for me but for yourself,” you didn't let him finish the sentence “Because you went though what no other human being can go through and you deserve to be happy, to fully live your life, to do your job serenely, you don't deserve to wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares. You are strong, one of the strongest people I know and if there is anyone who can do it, it’s you, love, okay?” you stroked his cheek and he nodded faintly.

“Promise me you'll really try? Not for me though,” you continued as he looked at you with all the love he felt for you. “I can take it, past the fear I know it's not your fault baby, you don't control it. I can't even imagine what you're going through, what you saw over there, anyone who didn’t experience it will never be able to, but I swear Jay I… I would die to give you all the happiness you deserve.”

“You are my happiness,” he retorted and you smiled feebly when you saw him calm down a bit “Tomorrow I’ll look for someone and start doing therapy, I promise I'll do it, for you, for me, for us.”

Your smile grew on your lips. “I know you will. I'm so proud of you.”

“So you won't leave me?” he whispered so softly he almost sounded like a child intimidated by the response he’d receive.

“No baby, never, I swear. I'd take a bullet for you if it means to make you happy.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” he mumbled. He placed his hand on yours which was still on his cheek, then bringing it to his lips and leaving a kiss on the back without his eyes ever leaving yours. “I love you so much Y/N, so fucking much I can't even breathe right now. I don't know what I did to deserve you,” you smiled again “I always want to see you smile like that, God… I can't even explain what you do to me. I… I want to make you happy as much as you make me happy. I'm so sorry baby, I'm sorry for everything...”

“Shh, it's okay, it's not your fault I want you to put it in this cute little head. I love you too Jay so much, more than you can ever imagine.”

You stayed on that sofa embraced for and indefinite amount of time, cradled in each other's arms. After some time you managed to get Jay to eat something before letting him take a shower, needless to say he was going to sleep over at your place.

You both got into bed and, due to the exhaustion, the intense emotions experienced that day, it didn't take long for Jay to fall asleep, his head resting on your chest as you held him and hugged him. But you couldn't sleep a wink, the events of that day still clear in your mind.

When Jay woke up in the middle of the night, it didn't take him long to realize you weren't there anymore. He sat up in bed and looked at the time on his cell phone, which read 1:32 in the morning, before getting up and walking towards the living room.

For a fraction of a second he thought he heard a sob but he thought he just imagined it. But when this sobbing sound was accompanied by a sniffling, he knew he didn’t imagine them at all.

He walked quickly to the living room and his heart skipped a beat when, in the dim light, he saw you sitting on the sofa, your knees drawn up to your chest as you cried. He turned on the lights and didn't miss the way you tried - in vain – to quickly dry your tears.

“Y/N… Baby… God, what happened? Are you hurt?” Jay asked after rushing over to you, kneeling right in front of you.

You mentally let out a curse, aware that you wouldn't be able to escape this. “I'm fine,” you replied though, hoping for a nano second he’d buy it.

“Oh baby don't lie to me, you don't cry if you're fine. Please talk to me, are you okay? What happened?” he continued to ask worried. He grabbed a handkerchief from the top of the coffee table and handed it to you, watching you intently as you blew your nose. He sat down next to you and started stroking your hair in an attempt to comfort you.

“Don't worry babe, it's okay. Nothing happened, go back to sleep you're tired.”

“How can you even think I'll leave you here alone?” he said “Wait, I'll go get you a glass of water.”

Before you could object, he was up and in less than no time he returned with a glass of cold water which you drank with pleasure. “You want another one?” he asked and after you mumbled a ‘no’ he took the empty glass from your hands and placed it on the coffee table. “Are you feeling better?”.

You nodded. “Seriously baby, I'm fine, go back to bed.”

“How about you stop lying to me and start telling me the truth? You're making me worry to death love.”

You sighed deeply, feeling the urge to cry coming back. “It's just… It's been a busy day and I needed to vent.”

Jay was silent for a moment, wiping away a single tear that slid down your cheek. “Talk to me baby, I'm here for you.”

You shook your head and then stood up. “No, there is nothing to say. Let's go to sleep, I'm getting tired too.”

“No, we're not going to sleep until you tell me what's going on,” he stood up too, looking at you with such intensity it almost took your breath away. God why did he insist so much, why didn't he just let you cry and forget everything?

“I told you Jay, I was just venting after today.”

“Yes, but it's not only that, I'm sure,” he retorted, taking a step towards you. “Baby don't you trust me? You know you can talk to me about anything, I just want to help you.”

“I-it's not that, of course I trust you.”

“Then talk to me,” he pressed, now on the verge of losing his mind “What...”.

“I don't want to bother you, you already have so much to think about.”

“Y/N I want you to listen to me very carefully now because I won't say it again,” he spoke, placing his hands on your face to force you to look at him. “There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you, and nothing, I say nothing, is more important than you. You never bother me and never will. You want me to be honest with you, to ask for help, but you have to do it too, you don't have to be afraid to tell me about something it’s bothering you.”

You started crying again and he hugged you, holding you close as he stroked your hair. “It's alright baby, I'm here. Cry all you want, let it go. I won't leave you.”

“It’s just…” you sobbed at a loss for words, letting go as a wave of guilt washed over you. You placed your hands on his bare chest as he continued to hold you.

“Y/N, please, I hate seeing you like this. What are you afraid of? Why don’t you talk to me?” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Because I feel guilty,” you answered so feebly you feared he didn’t hear you.

Jay placed two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him. “And why’s that?”.

Another sob escaped your lips and at that point you slightly moved away from him, no longer able to hold his gaze, his closeness. You ran your hands over your face and then through your hair, not quite knowing what to say.

“Because I was fucking terrified! And… And I feel guilty because I know what happened wasn't your fault, you weren’t yourself…” you sniffed as the tears continued to flow in rivers, leaving you not even a chance to talk “I know you’d never consciously do anything to hurt me but seeing you point that gun at me… Jay, I…” you sighed “I've faced criminals, murderers, but I've never been so afraid and terrified as today and for a moment I really thought you’d shoot me. The way you looked at me… God I can't get it out of my mind and I'm hating myself because it wasn't your fault…”

Jay stood there attentively listening to every single word you said as every second that passed he felt a part of himself die.

“That's why I didn't want to tell you about this, because I know you’re blaming yourself for everything and you're already going through so much Jay and I don't want to add this other burden on you...” you continued and at that point he approached you again, putting his hands on your cheeks and wiping away the tears with his thumbs as you did with him.

“Y/N…” he said your name as a little prayer “You really think I don’t know that? I know you, I know when something is bugging you, I know when something makes you feel sad. I saw the way you looked at me this whole evening, the way you were tense and I'm so sorry for putting you in this situation my baby. I hate myself so much for this, you didn’t deserve any of that,” he left a soft kiss on your forehead.

“And I love you so fucking much,” he continued “You're willing to suffer alone just to not make me worry but you don't have to. Your feelings are as valid as mine, you have to tell me when you're hurt, when you feel like crying, when you're scared even if I'm the cause. I want to listen to you and do everything in my power to fix what’s hurting you and I promise I will. We have a long way to go, you said it too, but we can't do it unless we're both honest with each other, if we don't express our fears, our apprehensions,” he said wiping away your tears as you did nothing but keep crying “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Y/N, you saved me from a chasm that I am trying hard to climb over, you are my lifeline and I want to be the same for you. I can never apologize enough for what I did today, but I promise I’ll do everything I can to put all that shit behind me. But you need to talk to me, okay? You are so fucking important to me and I'm okay if you're okay. I can't focus on anything else if I don't know you’re happy and to know that I need you to tell me everything that goes through your mind, and I will do the same… Okay baby?”.

You nodded and in response you pressed your lips onto his in a sweet, long-awaited kiss before hugging and squeezing him as if your life depended on it. He was right, God was he right about everything.

He was your everything.

Your sun, the love of your life, the reason for everything.

You were his salvation.

You were the light at the end of a dark tunnel, the first breath of fresh air after being underwater too long. You both knew that even in the most difficult moments you’ll be able to overcome everything and that you could always count on each other in joy, fear and pain.

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[whyse7vn]

KAWAII -

[ ot7 x reader ]

SLUT CENTRAL 🤮

———————————

8 participants - 8 online

jin: so i just raised a slut like???

namjoon: ??

y/n: RIGHT ITS INSANE

jk: ur a father?

tae: where the sluts at lol

yoongi: honestly i could throw up

jimin: if i raised jungkook i would not be taking credit for that shit just saying

hobi: you raised me up

jk: i’m the slut? ☹️

jin: YES YOU ARE WHY

ARE YOU HALF NAKED ON WEVERSE

WHAT IS UR ISSUE???

jk: jimin did it first

jimin: UMM EXUSE ME????

IT WAS FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY MIGHT I ADD

DONT DRAG ME INTO UR MESS

hobi: wasn’t namjoon half naked the other day too?

namjoon: this isn’t about me

y/n: whores the lot of you!

tae: namjoon the biggest whore

namjoon: again this isn’t about me

tae: ok mr automatic dick

hobi: who was the automatic bitch?

y/n: what does that even mean

namjoon: yoongi was the one talking about his tongue technology

yoongi: ??????

leave me alone wtf

tae: ur all nasty

hobi: be honest are you a virgin

tae: ME????

ARE YOU SILLY LOOK AT ME

hobi: looking

i see a virgin

tae: if anyone is a virgin it’s jin

jin: okay wtf not true at all

jimin: he’s lived for like 79 years there’s no way he’s a virgin lmao

y/n: i mean think about that one photo

with the comdoms in the back

jin BEEN fucking!!

hobi: #kingsize

jin: i mean what can i say

jimin: you picked up the wrong size?

jin: kill yourself?

namjoon: could we not talk about the size of jin’s dick please and thank you

tae: right pls stop guy me and namjoon are getting turned on

jk: it’s ok me 3

jin: what

y/n: what

namjoon: what????

yoongi: strangling jungkook gotta feel better than opiates i just know it in my heart

jimin: retweet

tae: bro said retweet 😭😭😭😭

his ass is NOT on twitter 🤣🤣

y/n: you are so unfunny it makes me want to punch things

tae: i’m so into that

y/n: burn

tae: ummmm?

y/n: alive

tae: don’t hate me cuz you want to passionately kiss me on the mouth

y/n: would rather get shot 450 times

tae: fuck you never speak to me again

y/n: finally

tae: guys i miss her 😕💔

WRONG CHAT

WRONG CHAT FUCK YOU BYE

hobi: wow

jk: guys let’s start using tone indicators!

yoongi: ur ugly /srs

jk: ok nvm!

jimin: and she said she said she’s from hawaii /srs

namjoon: …

hobi: do you know how to say cute in japanese? /srs

jk: i do i do i do

namjoon: please stop

tae: did someone say japan lol???

jin: when you said bye i had hope you would be gone for more that 2 seconds

y/n: he said japanese

jimin: idiot

tae: they call me senpai down under

yoongi: ?

jk: in australia??

tae: tf is an australia??

yoongi: what the actual fuck is wrong with you?

tae: did you mean astronaut?

jk: maybe…

y/n: you didn’t

jk: i didn’t

hobi: naur

jin: pls don’t do this again

hobi: naur i have to mate

tae: somone call me senpai rn see what happens

y/n: no

jin: is he’s gonna do something weird?

i feel like he’s gonna do something weird

pls don’t do something weird

jk: let’s find out!!!

namjoon: let’s not!

jk: senpai~

tae: nnnuugghhhhhhhhh 😫

jin: told u

tae: what’s up baby 😉

yoongi removed tae from “SLUT CENTRAL 🤮”

jimin: i HATE jungkook

jk: /srs ?

jimin: /srs

jk: FUCK

hobi: personally if i was to ever get hit by a car i would just get up and walk away

like thats so embarrassing

am i a pussy?

absolutely NOT

jk: hobi btw i do know how to say cute in japanese

namjoon: what if your legs were badly hurt?

hobi: namjoon idk about YOU but hoseok is definitely gonna walk it off

namjoon: why are you talking in 3rd person?

jk: do you want to know how to say cute in japanese??

i can tell you

yoongi: no

jk: k y ee

y/n: oh my god

yoongi removed jk from “SLUT CENTRAL 🤮”

jimin: did he just say that

like fr

k y ee?

as in kawaii

im not hallucinating right

jin: unfortunately not

hobi: i need a car

it’s time to hit a couple people

yoongi: talking to them kills me inside

jin: i’m here for u yoongi

yoongi: and you

jin: hobi make sure you hit him too

jin added tae to “SLUT CENTRAL 🤮”

jin added jk to “SLUT CENTRAL 🤮”

jin: karma

tae: sometimes i call the number on missing dog posters and just bark

jk: hi guys i’m back thx for adding me back jin hi guys i’m back did you miss me cuz i’m back now so it’s ok

namjoon: you bark?

tae: so they think it’s their dog trying to contact them

but it’s not

cuz it’s me

jimin: why would they think it’s their dog?

how tf a dog gonna use a phone

tae: dogs don’t normally use phones?

guess yeontan just built different 🤷🏻‍♂️

i mean what do you expect from a son of mine

hobi: he’s built different cuz you don’t feed him

y/n: LAMSOSOKSKD THAT IS NOT FUNNY AT ALL YOU CANT SAY THAT OH MY GODJDJDJDJJFJFN

jimin: HELP THATS CRAZY

yoongi: wow

namjoon: guys please

jin: INSANE HOSEOK INSANE

tae: ok that was not funny at all

i look after him

really well actually

..

i swear

i feed him

i do

jk: i believe you tae

tae: you do? 🥺

jk: yeah

tae: thanks jungkook i love you

jk: ok

tae: ok?

jk: ok?

tae: okay

jk: okay

tae: fucking whore whose the other woman then??

jk: guys help i’m really scared rn

jimin: omg speaking of that fucking mutt

tae: MUTT???

jimin: bro has NO stage presence at ALL

expressions lame as hell and all he did was run around trying to get camera time he looked a fool

hobi: dozen core

y/n: was his first performance pls don’t make fun of him he’s trying his best :(((

jimin: his best wasn’t good enough

tae: HE WORKED VERY HARD FOR THAT STAGE

jimin: it did not show

jk: bam could of done it better

yoongi: would of shit on stage

jimin: still would of been better than whatever yeontan was doing

tae: can you leave him alone omg

he was nervous

jimin: i’ll cook him

hobi: do you know how to say cute in japanese?

jk: yes

i do

namjoon: stop

jk: i can give you a hint if you don’t know namjoon

namjoon: jungkook please don’t talk to me

jimin: he’s losing it guys

y/n: lowkey hot

i love a man on the edge

tae: just say ur a slut

y/n: ??

yoongi: tae shut the fuck up

jimin: that so screams i have never felt the touch of a woman before

tae: how tf u think i made yeontan?

jk: you fucked a dog??????

tae: wait no wtf

jk: oh MH GOD GUYS TAE FUCKED A DOG

that’s illegal

i hope

OHMY GOD CALL TBE POLICE

hobi: that’s gross i’m gonna throw up

tae: THATS NOT TRUE HES LYING I DIDNT STOP PLS

jin: where is namjoon when you need him change the the subject i’m begging you

namjoon: i think i'm having a psychotic break rn

y/n: holds you and whispers it's gonna be okay

jimin: kill your neighbor kill your neighbor kill your neighbor

tae: GUYSBPLS BELIEVE ME

IM CRYING

SOBBING PLS

IM GONNA THROW UP EVERYWHERE

IVE HAD SEX

WITH A WOMAN BEFORE NEVER A DOG

PLS IM TELLINV THE TRUTH PLS

GIYS

PLS HWLLO

GIUSYSSSJSJJDD

PLEASE

y/n: can’t wait for the day it’s gc gets leaked

we will all be locked up

jimin: severing 10 years not even that bad if you think about it

yoongi: tae severing at least 25

tae: NOT TRUE

namjoon serving life

little drug abuser

y/n: be fr the worst drug joon has done is take 4 paracetamols at one time

jk: 4?????

WOW JOON U CRAZY

namjoon: no

hobi: caught namjoon sipping lean on august 13th 2023 10:45 pm

namjoon: no you didn’t

hobi: u right i didn’t

sorry guys i like to lie

jin: that’s a problem actually

hobi: i’m working on it

tae: work harder

jimin: tell ur dog that

tae: CAN YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE

yoongi: can you come over

tae: yeah

yoongi: wrong chat mb

and why tf would i be taking to you

tae: i’m gonna shoot myself

jin: who you inviting over yoongi omg 🙈

should i bring you a nda??

jk: nine dead animals?

y/n: no jungkook

jk: oh

namjoon: breathe in breathe out

jk: personally i’m worried if i give good head or not because no one has ever willingly asked me to give them head so is my head that bad you don’t even want me to try

jin: invest in a diary pls

jk: cant i’m lacktoes intolerant :(

jimin: lactose?

y/n: and the way thats not even true

hobi: the head or the lactose part?

tae: trust me bro ur head crazy good

jk: fr?

tae: fr

it’s so good girls afraid to ask

jk: girls?

tae: boys?

jk: boys???

tae: people????

jk: what people??

tae: you have like people ur fucking right?

jk: no?

tae: what?

jk: no people

jimin: are you expecting a rando to just to ask you to given them head?

jk: no?

jin: i’m so confused

jk: y/n

y/n: yes?

yoongi: no

y/n: ?

namjoon: moving on

hobi: you think tae’s dog can learn black swan?

tae: he has a name yk?

hobi: say my name say my name

jk: jung hoseok

hobi: thx

jk: yes

k y ee

namjoon left “yeontan ugly”

tae: THE GC NAME??????

WHO DID THAT

y/n: poor joonie see what you guys do to him?

jimin: bet he’s gone to see his automatic bitch

hobi: robot sex

yoongi: what??

hobi: cyber sex doja cat

jin: illuminati

jk: when did he become poor thats so sad i’m here for him if he ever needs ¥

yoongi: why would he need yen?

jk: who is yen?

tae: NO IM SO FR WHO CHANGED THE GC NAME TO THAT

ITS NOT TRUE BTW

MY BABY TAKES AFTER ME

jimin: oh no i’m praying for him ❤️

tae: IT WAS U WASNT IT

ALWAYS KNEW U WERE A JELOUS LOSER

jk: guys ur not being very k y ee rn

yoongi: i’m going to skin you alive

[outmakingmoonshine]

I wrote this reply a few weeks ago about the 773 tattoo on Carmy's arm that really looks like 223. You'll have to read that first because I'm not gonna explain it all again here and you'll need context to understand this post.

SPOILERS below if you haven't watched to the end of S3 yet

Right before this in Marcus's mum's funeral scene he's talking about having someone who really listen to you and pays attention to you and the camera does a not so subtle zoom in on SydCarmy's faces. Then the next scene is this one where Syd says she made the margins wider on the menus because Carmy always writes in them. We already know Carmy pays close attention to Syd and he does really listen to her even though it's like he gets amnesia right after and does the opposite of what she wanted, he does really try to listen and understand her in his own way. This an example of Syd really paying attention to Carmy immediately after being told how significant it is and how good it makes you feel. Carmy looked shocked that she paid attention to him and went out of her way to do something thoughtful for him and said "That's really nice. Thank you." Then Carmy goes on to do a checklist of the things they both need which also showed he knows her too.

Keeping the number meta above in mind, I'm not sure who first mentioned this (pls link the post if anyone knows so I can credit them) but sydcarmy both represent the number 2. In the post above I spoke about when the two 2's (sydcarmy) face each other and finally turn to take notice of each other. I'm pretty certain this scene was a small glipse of what their future together would be like if sydcarmy did face each other without anything or anyone coming between them. They become a cohesive unit, working together as one just like they were in this scene. Sydcarmy are mirrors of each other in many ways, just like the twos are mirroring each other on the clock behind them. I know one is technically a 5 but visually it's a 2 backwards and how else would they symbolize two 2's facing each other on a digital clock? Imo these numbers in this scene represent this moment being a good thing and a glimpse of what they could be, plus the whole scene gave me strong married couple vibes.

In numerology 9 represents completion/the end. The next number, 10, begins the cycle from 1 again or you could say it evolves, moves forward and keeps growing. 9 has other asociations but the core foundational meaning of it is completion. It's telling us in the end they will face each other and balance each other out, mirror each other. "Mirroring is an act of love." If that number sequence in the background of this specific scene isn't positive SydCarmy foreshadowing idk what is. This scene, the context, subtext and symbolism in it alone lets me know the sydcarmy love story and endgame is still very much on track. We're just taking a detour for now, like 99% of will-they-wont-they ships do right before the end of the story.

This shot showed directly after a Carmy/Claire opening scene in 3x05 and Carmy was laying in bed staring at it in some of the darkest blue lighting I think we've seen in the show.

I think this may even be a few shades darker than the sex scene with Claire. Imo it's because Carmy's in his darkest place now, he knows how he feels and who he wants but he can't have it. Carmy metaphorically turned to face Syd in the panic attack scene then fully turned, paid attention and listened to her in the table scene. Now he's somewhat aware of his feelings for her, tbh I think he does know but he's avoiding it because he's in a really dificult situation with Claire and he already let Syd down again after promising to be there for her. He doesn't love Claire romantically but he doesn't wanna hurt her either He's just stuck which is what I think this season was about, Carmy's still mentally and emotionally stuck in the freezer. Carmy said saying sorry to Claire was too hard and I think that's because he knows he has to tell her he doesn't feel the same way and it's gonna hurt her. We keep seeing cute flashbacks with Claire but I don't think it's because he misses her, I think it's because he feels really guilty that he lead her on so much because that's what the scenes were showing. He was acting all loved up with her and it's interesting that we the audience/Carmy never saw that last season and we're only seeing now it in hindsight. Remember the show is telling us the story through Carmy's eyes.

I said in the post above I initially thought the number 3 represented Claire and/or Marcus, but in 2x08 Carmy (2) asked Richie (3) to be the "go-between" and give Syd (2) an I love you note, literally putting the three in the middle of the two 2's so it made sense it probably represented him at the time.

And maybe it does, idk, he's been getting between them since S1 in one way or another, directly or indirectly. But it more likely represents anyone that comes between them. The third wheel so to speak.

Notice how the 2's aren't facing each other here in 2x08 because this was before Carmy faced what Syd means to him in 2x09.

And you may be wondering if the mirroring numbers represent how sydcarmy end up why isn't Carmy's tattoo 753? Well 753 isn't the chicago area code so it would raise questions why Carmy had a random tattoo of 753 so I think it was a choice to keep the symbolism but keep it subtle.

I didn't expect s3 to feel this bad (I should've tbh, this show always makes you feel the most) but I didn't expect it to go well for sydcarmy. That's why I posted this post the day before the episodes aired reminding everyone what the show told us to expect. They did warn us this wasn't gonna be a mushy gooey love story. It's not gonna be cute and sweet, it's gonna be ballbreaker and that's what Carmy's doing to Syd. He's doing to her what the NY Chef did to him. He's already making her sick, making her have panic attacks and he knows he's a "bad boss". He glanced her way when they were talking about it at the table in 3x10. When I saw Carmy confront NY Chef, for a moment I thought they were gonna have Carmy say the same to Syd one day in the future (this is how bad the whole situation felt while watching the show, it was truly horrible to watch) but I really don't think so. Carmy doesn't want to be anything like that arrogant guy so I can only imagine he'd be the complete opposite with Syd (someone he genuinely cares about) when he finally pulls his head out of his ass, metaphorically gets out of the freezer and faces the situation he's in like Cicero told him you have to run straight into it, you can't avoid it.

Even though this season was very hard to watch I think the same amount of subtext, symbolism and metaphors that pointed to sydcarmy in the last seasons is still all there. It's just more difficult to see, especially after 1 watch because there were barely any scenes that seem good for them on a surface level, they all went to Carmy/Claire. But underneath the surface a lot of the scenes imply good things are still to come for sydcarmy imo.