#so idk. im not sure what to do anymore. i just. feel like sometimes i have months or years where i cant do anything

[weezerlvr228]

hi fam !!

[otrtbs]

any chances ppl would be allowed to bind ahb for personal use ??

hiya!!

at the moment, and for the foreseeable future i am saying no. just because there are copies of ahb! circulating around SEVERAL websites and vendors being sold for oodles and oodles of dollars. despite my requests for the sellers to stop.

i have had people (etsy vendors) in the past lie to me and say they've made "too many personal handbound copies and are only selling those extra ones" which ,,, was obviously a lie. also they were getting the copies through lulu and selling them just btw.

i have also had people tell me that they are binding them and selling them to others for personal use but not making profit off of them even though they're selling art heist for over $100 a book. so. yeah. another lie

so, sorry! but yeah!! there's not much i can do about people actually listening to me and respecting my wishes etc etc and lord knows they don't, but i would super appreciate it if we kept ahb! an ao3 exclusive for now!

it just makes me feel slightly better to put more rules and boundaries in place! though it's never stopped people in this fandom from bulldozing right through those anyway :/

[faaun]

i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

[girlivealwaysbean]

hey god if you've created someone for me can you introduce me to them sooner? i kinda need them now

[lolikirlia]

tbh ppl are kindof mean

[yoshistory]

part of me still feels like i might be sort of genderfluid and/or bisexual but just traumatized about it. no idea anymore

[moafleco]

i hate that duality that your mind can be your safe heaven that helps you get through some difficult things, keeps you going and brings you happiness at the worst of times. and at the very same time it could be your worst tormentor that won't let you rest and won't let you breathe, literally for no particular reason at all. and you can't leave or silence it. can't get it to stop when it gets dark in there. can't get the light in when you desperately need to feel a respite instead of suffocation.

[bixiaoshi]

i have a feeling that one of my... friends? doesn't like me anymore and it fucking sucks

[bl00dh0rs3]

It is so fucking funny how someone telling me to do something is the fastest and easiest way to get me to want to Actively grind my life back to halt instead.

[29121996]

anyway i did a BIG fucking release on tuesday n its fucked me up for the last 48hrs. whoop

[homoerotvic]

even though you were possibly the one to hurt my feelings the most in my entire life in every single dream you appear in i forgive you

[kyomito]

i love it when my day starts with:

you have one task today. one thing to do, all day to do it. just that for today along with other normal things like eating and showering.

and then my brain is like:

funny. and what if I said we are doing none of that. matter fact, we are going to do none of that and LESS.

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[autobahnmp3]

when i first learned what personal boundaries /are/ i had a lot of realisations in a short amount of time and there certainly were some changes in who i kept as my friends. and all of this was super awkward to navigate (it was hs)

[ninjuice]

Vent post no need to read

[banquetwriter]

i love the way you write viktor sm sm 🫡 if you feel up to it, id love to see some more of your domestic headcanons! also, do you think either viktor's partner and jayce get jealous of each other? lmao i like imagining a silent passive aggression n rivalry between anyone dating viktor and jayce.

keep up the great work!!!!

AN: AHH ONG THANK YOU 🙏 i’m new to the arcane fandom + writing viktor so i feared my depiction of him was super ooc so im glad people like it haha

now i don’t think jayce would hate you or anything, but he would certainly be weary… since i am an avid jayvik shipper and he is def in love w/ his “partner” he would ofc be upset he is with someone else !

however however he isn’t down right mean to you. being blunt with you, dismissing what you say and asking viktor if he is sure about you is the most he would go

that is if you treated viktor good if you treated him bad (which idk why you would) oh boy you’d have a whole can of whoopass coming to be delivered

using his counselor powers he’d def make sure your life sucks lmfao 😭😭

however once you prove that you really do love viktor with your entire heart and your nothing but kind to jayce im sure after a while he will have to face the reality that your not going away and also he actually kinda likes you

you can keep up with all the hextech shit and no matter what always care about viktor and cmon what else can ask for?

as far as you being jealous i’m sure you would even if you aren’t to typically get jealous. it’s clear not only in his words but his whole life viktor loves jayce even if it isn’t romantic anymore (cuz ur there duh)

at first you were super confused why his lab “partner” was lowkey a bitch to you. you understood viktor has pretty much no romantic experience and he’s probably just looking out for his friend

it wouldn’t be until jayce has finally warmed up to you and shared some old story of him and viktor that you would understand that he loved him. like loved him loved him it wasn’t just platonic

“oh y/n! i am almost done with my work for today, just give me a second and i’ll be right out!” viktor said removing an (honestly) goofy looking pair of goggles he was using to make small adjustments to a project he was working on.

“take your time!” you chime as viktor hobbles away with his cane. you are left alone with jayce waiting for your love to be done. you turn to jayce and with a polite smile you nod to him.

jayce nods back not meeting your eye. after a moment jayce sighs. “you know he never used to leave this much until you showed up.” jayce said with a small sad smile. you smile down at your feet. “yes i’m well aware he loves to tell me how much he has a work i can only assume it consumed his whole life” you admit.

jayce looks down before speaking again, “usually it was me pulling him out of his work. forcing him to eat, sleep whatever it was.” jayce sighs almost defeated.

you smile again, brighter this time. “he also told me that.” you say. jayce chuckles before rubbing his hand against his jaw. “you know sometimes it felt like a loosing battle to get him to take care of himself. it still is. i never gave up because he was my- still is my everything.” jayce admits.

his confession lays heavy in the air. realization hits of what exactly he means. your face falls realizing how much it must hurt to be around you. before you can’t speak you hear viktor walking out of wherever he went.

“oh! you two are talking, how nice.” viktor teases as he walks up to you. you shake your head with a smile. “you go ahead i’ll be right behind you.” viktor smiles with a curious expression but leaves you alone with jayce.

you flung your arms around the man. jayce stumbles back confused but eventually hugs you back. “thank you.” was all you whispered to him before leaving returning side by side with viktor. “what were you two discussing?” he asks not meeting your eyes.

“we were plotting evil against you.” you say with a small smile, viktor only rolls his eyes.

anyways to conclude that i think like you said it’s a silent sort of one sided beef on jayce’s part but eventually it ends (for the most part lol)

as far as what viktor feelings on the matter he can obviously tell it’s strained between you too but reassures both of you that either one of you just want the best for him

he does not like conflict and def gets anxious when both of yall share the same space.

however a small (teeny tiny) part of him is grateful. he hasn’t ever had many people in his life let alone two people (almost) fighting over him, but again a small part he is mostly anxious

as far as domestic stuff goes he def lets you fidget with his fingers. in private ofc. you slowly massage his fingers when your concentrating on something and while he pretends he is reading the page hasn’t been turned in the last 5 minutes because he is solely focus on you

you become his whole world and god he cannot get over how you are his. or that he is yours! i’ve talked a lot about how you take care of him which is true

you help him with his brace, cooking, cleaning all the normal life stuff but something i haven’t touched too much on his how he takes care of you

just because he is disabled does not mean he is weak by any means. he always always always makes sure the house and you are at the perfect tempature.

he will braid small chunks in your hair if it’s long enough, he’ll get your toothbrush ready for you, make sure to have all of your favorite things at the house

takes advantage of piltover’s plentiful arts and brings home things of your interest.

i’m a firm believer that viktor looks like an old man when he sleeps with a long shirt and long pants, which is cute till he radiates heat like a damn furnace at night

you resort to sleeping in just a shirt and underwear. which drives viktor a tad wild. seeing you shuffle out of bed and your ass is already out? he is in heaven.

if you do not have a loving family let’s pretend for a second you do (bc same bestie same) and picture viktor getting personally invited to the holidays by your father.

he’s never been so nervous and excited. i’m not sure what holidays exactly but something that required the whole family which includes him.

he of course is overwhelmed at how many people there are. you eventually leave him to fend for himself when your family needs you to help prepare something

he is terrified but when you come back he is getting his ear talked off by one of your baby cousins. so all is well.

he is mostly scared of being judged by your family (and in this head cannon they never would) but to his shock he is accepted! just like how you accepted him.

your family just like you never ever once made him feel bad for his disability or his appearance or anything ever !

domestic life has not been common for viktor but now that he has you, you have fought for it to be his every day