#sometimes i feel like it would be easier to just kill myself

[love-byers]

boyfriends who defend and reassure each other <3

"Wait, this is Will's fault?!" 1x01

"I'm the only one acting normal here! I'm the only one that cares about Will!" 1x01

"Will could've cast protection last night, but he didn't. He cast fireball. [...] My point is, he could've played it safe, but he didn't. He put himself in danger to help the party." 1x01

"She pointed at him, at his picture. She knew he was missing, I could tell." 1x02

"Maybe it's his ghost, maybe he's haunting us." "It's not his ghost." "And how do you know that?" "I just do." "Then what did they pull out of that water?" "I don't know! All I know is Will is alive. Will is alive!" 1x04

"Hey! Hey! Hey, Troy! Hey, Troy! You…you think this is funny? […] I saw you guys laughing over there. I think that's a real messed up thing to do." 1x04

"Now she's going to let him die in the Upside Down--" "Shut up!" 1x05

"I'm gonna get you home, okay? I'm gonna get you home." 2x02

"Maybe...maybe that's good." "Good?!" "Just think about it, Will. You're like a spy now. A super spy. Spying on the shadow monster. If you know what he's thinking and feeling, maybe that's how we stop him. Maybe all this is happening for a reason." "You really think so?" "Yeah, Yeah I really do." "What if he figures out we're spying on him? What if he spies back?" "He won't." "How do you know?" *grabs his hand* "We won't let him." 2x05

"Closing the gate will kill him." 2x09

"It's a cool campaign it's really cool!" 3x03

"What if you want to join another party?" "Not possible." 3x08

"I don't think Mike is gonna like that you're lying to him. And he doesn't deserve that, and when he finds out he's gonna be mad." 4x02

"Seems like you've made it super clear you're not interested in anything I have to say." "That's just not true." 4x02

"I was being a total jerk to El, I deserved it…" "No. No, you didn't deserve anything." 4x04

"Listen, the truth is, the last year has been weird, you know? I mean, Max, and Lucas, and Dustin, they're great, they're great, it's just...it's Hawkins, it's not the same without you. And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El...I don't know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something. Does that make sense?" *nods* "I have no idea what's gonna happen next. But whatever it is, I...I think we should work together. I think it'll be easier if we're—we're a team. Friends. Best friends." "Cool." "Cool." 4x04

"I should've explained myself, because then maybe Eleven would've taken me with her and things would be different, but…" "No-" "I—I didn't know what to say." 4x05

"Sometimes...I think it's just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel. Especially to people you care about the most. Because...what if they don't like the truth?" *nods*4x05

"Sorry." "No--" "No, it's so stupid given everything that's going on." 4x08

"See how you're leading us here? You're guiding the whole party, inspiring us. That...that's what you do. And see your coat of arms here? It's a heart. I know it's sort of on the nose, but that's what holds this whole party together: heart. And without heart, we'd all fall apart. Even me. Especially me." 4x08

"He's not going to stop, ever. Not until he's taken everything, and everyone. We have to kill him." *grabs his shoulder* "And we will. We will." 4x09

[ninjuice]

Vent post no need to read

[mushed-kid]

.

[featherymainffins]

I think it's a hatecrime against me that there aren't any slugs as big as the giant African snail. Why do the snails get to have all the fun I just want a giant slime noodle.

[ame-to-ame]

Oh this sucks

[dreamyberry]

/14.10.24

[loverboybrightsideghost]

they should invent a way to ask if you have felt suicidal or have had suicidal thoughts at the doctor when they ask where you'll answer truthfully. i am fine and i always fight the suicidal thoughts but i went to the urgent care the other day and they asked and i said no no nothing like that. but i lied! of course i have! i've been vaguely fantasizing about getting hit by a car the past few days!!! i truly hate suicide for Reasons, it makes me incredibly sad and distressed, and for myself sometimes i don't even realize it's started creeping into my head again (i'm fine i genuinely promise) but like. as much as i hate it, it's there in some of my friends and me and i have to wonder about the fact that "yeah, but doesn't everyone at least a little bit?" isn't the right answer.

[enlichened]

ocd is so interesting to manage because you simply cannot know which compulsions you can indulge that will make your life slightly easier and which ones will become a rabbit hole that makes it all tumble down.

for example just barely after i start getting anxious about something happening to my friends/loved ones, I clench my right fist three times and then hold it for a second (sometimes to my chest, sometimes with the other hand). and it genuinely helps! i feel like i did something that, even if its not realistic or effective at all, was still something to Do with the anxiety. and kind of sweet sentiment-wise.

on the other hand. never let me check on a loved one while theyre in the other room or else ill die.

[salemlunaa]

SOME RECENT SUCCESSES OF MINE ᥫ᭡ᥫ᭡

for pure consciousness of course

1st LOG | USING THE DARKNESS TO MY ADVANTAGE

This was around last week, i felt super tired in the afternoon and i used that to advantage, i acted like i was taking a nap and focused on affirmations while distracting myself, i let thoughts pass me by and new ones come in and when i was super relaxed I affirmed “I AM”. I imagined my surroundings as black, just back I don’t know how to explain it, but i focused on the darkness behind my eyes and acted like my eyes were open and all i was seeing was black. I imagined that the darkness behind my eyelids was my surroundings, I would see myself in a pool of darkness give myself askfirmations

“why is everything so black”

“hold up am I in the void state?”

then i would breathe heavier than i was, with some more “I AM” and boom, i induced

manifested:

no back pain (maybe tmi but i’ve got large 🍒 with a smaller body frame so my back would KILL sometimes lmfao)

longer hair because why not?

and honestly just was there for a calming experience, and when you induce pure consciousness, you know that there’s this calming, surreal feeling you get, especially when you come back to your 3D.

2nd LOG | PURELY RELAXATION PURPOSES

saturday morning (so two days ago??)

i said this before and i just might make another post about this but going in with the “i’m just inducing to relax” is so beneficial because it really takes the void of that pedestal. And when it’s off that pedestal and all you’re doing is trying to relax it’s easier for you to induce.

I had the intention not to manifest anything but really just to sit and relax, and that weight lifted off my shoulders really helped. I did some normal “I AM” with heavy breathing with the intention that it was just a meditation i was trying to induce. And before I knew i induced the void.

manifested:

better understanding of things (i didn’t really elaborate but i feel a lot better and more articulated when it comes to explaining things for you guys and to myself)

and honestly i was there to just relax, a goal i have in 2025 is to make inducing pure consciousness more natural to me than it already is, I wanna be able to see this shit as a meditation i just do for fun when i want too, i really want to get into the god state this year, well more than i already am

i hope you guys can really understand how simple it is, this is first nature to us.

ᥫ᭡thanks for coming to my TED talk… again

[farfromstrange]

One Soul | Matt Murdock x Reader

Matt Murdock Masterlist

Summary: Matt gets hurt, badly, so you have to do the one thing you promised him you wouldn't: take him to a hospital.

Warnings: Angst, life-threatening injury, blood, temporary Major Character Death (he comes back, don't worry), mentions of CPR, religious imagery, conflicted relationship with religion, Reader is described as an atheist but Mad At God, prayer, hurt/comfort

A/n: This is a little angst piece I came up with yesterday. For me, personally, my atheism isn't always black and white. I know I don't believe in God, but I have found myself cursing him in the past because it was easier than cursing something I did not understand (like the death of a loved one). And I just know that being with Matt, chances are he will get himself hurt badly enough one day to the point he has to be brought to the hospital.

Read Me On AO3!

The heart monitor beside the bed signals at a steady eighty beats per minute. You follow the many lines of tubing from the machines to his frail body, your eyes lingering on the purple bruises adorning his pale skin—deadly pale, it is. 

His cheeks, once so full of life, are hollow now. His eyes are swollen, his pretty lips cut, and there is blood stuck to his hair, still, soaking through the bandage they applied. You’ve never seen him so broken, so utterly weak and fragile that you wouldn’t dare touch him. The tears refuse to stop falling. 

Years ago, you made a promise. You promised never to take him to a hospital, to protect his identity and him. Hell, he survived the collapse of Midland Circle, albeit with a scattered mind. He had broken bones and a broken spirit, locked away at Clinton Church for weeks, and still, he survived.

Tonight though, for the first time, you felt his heart stop. It wasn’t one of those ghastly nightmares that have been plaguing you ever since you locked Fisk away and he finally came back to you. It wasn’t a product of your imagination; you felt his heart stop. Hands covered in blood, you watched as the life drained from his eyes and he breathed out without breathing in again. 

You swear you can still feel his ribs breaking underneath your fingertips. “Don’t do this to me,” you cried. “Don’t you dare do this to me, Matthew! I can’t lose you. Please, come back. Come back!”

And you prayed to a God you don’t believe in not to take him from you. You begged for a chance to hear his heartbeat again, just one last time even if it kills you. 

You looked to the sky and swore you’d make a deal with the devil if you had to. You’d do anything for this man; this reckless, stupid force of a man you are so in love with that it hurts sometimes. You would’ve let God crucify you for the whole world to see just to get a chance to look at your beloved Matthew one last time, to know he’s alive. And perhaps God did answer your prayers, or maybe the CPR you’d never done before did its trick for he suddenly took a breath, and his heart started beating again.

You cried over his body like Mary over Jesus. You shielded him as if that would heal him, and he clung to you when he realized what had happened. He coughed, and he was bleeding, and you were paralyzed with the fear of losing him again.

What else were you to do but take him to a place where he could be fixed? If you hadn’t brought him here, he would have died. You shouldn’t feel guilty. It wasn't selfish. Yet, the fire within you keeps burning, and your soul keeps hurting as you watch him like a hawk, wondering what he’ll think of you once he wakes up—if he wakes up. 

“I know I’m not… religious,” you murmur, eyes directed at the ceiling now. “I’m not a good Catholic, far from it. I’ve done things… well, you know. And I don’t pray. Matt prays. I don’t,” you say. “I just wanna understand why.”

Another tear rolls down your cheek. The coil in your throat is tight enough to strangle the air from your lungs. One of the shards of your broken heart is stuck, and now you’re bleeding. Your soul is laid bare for everyone to see. 

It’s pathetic, you think, for an atheist to pray. Because you don’t believe, you never have. Matt believes. He has faith. You’re just… angry? Yes, you are furious, and even more now than ever you feel like it’s all a lie. Where’s the hope? Where’s the faith now?

“Why do you keep letting bad things happen to him?” you ask, your voice breaking. “All he’s ever done is try to please you because he thinks you gave him some kind of purpose. That accident… he thinks it happened for a reason. Going blind, losing every one. After all the hardships and the trouble he got himself into, he thinks he’s some kind of soldier. Even when he was at his lowest and stopped believing, he eventually came back to you. Like a dog on a leash.” 

If Matt heard you, he’d be deeply offended. Religion is so important to him, but tonight, he almost died. He almost died before, but it never felt as real as it did tonight, and the thought haunts you like a restless ghost. 

“I want to be supportive, I do. I mean, everyone’s beliefs are valid, in a way, but it almost killed him tonight. If you’re up there—if you’re truly listening—how can you just let that happen to someone you claim to love, God? I don’t–” You shake your head. “I just don’t understand.”

The heart monitor keeps beeping. The lights keep flickering. His chest keeps rising. No answer. The disappointment cuts you deep. Is there perhaps a part of you that does want to believe? Or are you just looking for someone, something, to blame? Instead of the men who did this to him, instead of the men who quite literally took him apart, you’re turning to the one thing you can’t touch. But you know it’s not what Matt would want. He’d want you to have hope.

How does one go about that when everything seems to be going wrong? When your very heart is lying in a hospital bed? How does even an atheist not curse God out of pure and utter desperation? 

Matt lets out a soft groan, and your eyes flick to him. Your heartbeat accelerates at the same time as his. 

“Matt?” you ask, inching closer to the edge of the bed.

He stirs. Every muscle and bone in his body is filled with a dull ache. First dull, then sharp. The stitches in his abdomen pull at the tender flesh with every breath that fills his lungs, the oxygen so rich and concentrated it almost sets him alight. The plastic tubes weigh heavy on his nostrils. 

His eyes pulsate, and there is this obnoxiously loud beeping in his ear. It’s screaming, almost. Beep, beep, beep. Faster and faster, and faster. But his eyelids are so heavy he can’t open them. There’s nothing but fire, and for a moment he forgets that he hasn’t been able to see for decades. 

In his head, he’s eight years old again, his head wrapped with a bandage that itches his skin so terribly, and the world around him screaming. It’s the same room, it seems, cold and dark and terrifying. 

Matt reaches for his eyes, fingers brushing against the bruises that resemble the shape of a fist—no light. He can taste copper on his tongue. The beeping gets louder and his ears are ringing, and why is the blanket made of sandpaper? He wants to tear the skin off his weary bones.

“I can’t–” he breaks off at the foreign sound of his voice. Another trace of his fingertips against the bruised skin. “I can’t see,” he chokes out.

“Matt!” you say a little louder, your hand finally touching his, and it’s as if the bubble he’s in bursts. 

He recognizes your voice. He remembers he’s blind. He remembers going out last night and kissing you goodbye. He was in good spirits then. But something went wrong. Somehow, his opponent had weaponry that could easily break through the protective material of his suit. He stood no chance against the number of men coming at him. They sliced and they hit, and he thought he saw God, but it was just the swinging ceiling light inside the abandoned factory building. It smelled of mold and water. 

He fought until he couldn’t bear it anymore. Until the opportunity to flee presented itself, and so Matt crawled home to you. With every last ounce of strength, he honored his promise to always come back home to you. 

He doesn’t remember much more, only falling down the stairs to the rooftop access to the living room. The crash. Your gasp. Your heartbeat. And then, nothing. Nothing but the comfort of darkness. 

“Hey,” you smile through your tears, “It’s me. You’re okay.”

He whispers your name, and you squeeze his hand.

“I’m here. Try not to move,” you tell him. “You’re at Metro General.”

The word makes his breath stutter. “The hospital?” he inquires.

“Yes. You were hurt… badly. They had to take out your spleen. Fifty-something stitches. Some brain swelling. I don’t know, it’s a lot.” 

“I told you,” he grunts, “no hospitals.”

Matt Murdock is not an ungrateful man. However, his words cut deep. You can’t take much more.

“You promised, no–”

“You died!” you cry out. The echo bounces off the walls and resonates in his ears like the sound of a bomb going off. 

“You died in my arms and I had to–” You look at your hands, stained with blood, “I had to break your ribs to bring you back. Your bones… breaking,” you cry. “You died and I thought I was gonna lose you, for good. You can blame me for breaking a stupid promise, but if I hadn’t, I’d be preparing a funeral now!” 

His head tilts in his direction—you’re serious—and his defenses fall like an iron curtain, shattering like glass. The sound of your voice in such a state of disarray, death by a thousand cuts. 

He almost died. Or, he did die, and you brought him back, but the things you had to do for that… you brought him back, but it hurt you. He hurt you. He swore he would never do so again, only over his dead body, yet it was his dead body that almost broke you. 

Matt never wanted any of this to happen. The love of his life, traumatized. What kind of man does that? Surely the kind of man that no one but the one person he never deserved mourns when he’s gone. 

The silence drags on, suffocating you. “Do you get that?” you ask, barely above a whisper. “Do you get that I’d die without you?”

“I’m so sorry,” Matt whispers. “I don’t remember…”

“Of course, you don’t. You’ve never been this hurt.”

“Sweetheart.”

“I would’ve traded your life for mine if I could’ve. I tried, Matt, I did. I prayed to God and told him to take me instead while I was trying to get your heart beating again. And I blamed Him for doing this to you ‘cause I didn’t know who else to blame.” 

His fingers brush against the back of your hand. A nurse kindly lent you clothes from the lost-and-found, but you can still feel the sticky substance on your skin, crawling like a parasite.

You shudder. “If you hadn’t woken up, I–“ 

“C’mere,” he says. 

Beep, beep, beep, goes the heart monitor, and sirens wail outside his window. 

“I can’t,” you whisper back.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Sweetheart, you could cut out my heart and I’d still want you.”

A shiver runs down your spine, settling in the pit of your stomach. You feel so sick, so detached from everything and everyone, but the piece of you that you almost lost is right there, and he’s alive.

He’s alive. 

You have to keep reminding yourself of the fact. His heart is beating. His lungs are filled with air. Those last few hours might have felt like a proper nightmare, but you made it through. He made it through. 

“Please,” he pleads. “I… I need you.”

It’s different now. He’s not asking to hold you for your comfort but his own, and without another second thought, you climb into the tiny hospital bed with him. 

Matt seeks out the comfort of your chest, but he’s aimless in his agony. You gently guide his head to your heart. Touching him, feeling him so close to you, melts away the last of your fears.

“You scared me,” you confess.

He exhales. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Just… promise you’ll live for me.”

The silence wraps a noose around your neck. But then, “You own my heart,” he says. 

“So?”

“Yeah, I’ll live for you.”

Those four words mean more to you than a promise to die for you if push comes to shove. Because what are you supposed to do without him? You’d rather he try everything in his power to live for you than leave you. 

“If you live for me, too,” he whispers then, and a tear runs from his cheek down your chest. You can’t survive without him, that much is certain. That may sound like a state of unhealthy codependency, but when two people share the same soul, every breath one breathes sustains the other. There’s nothing you can do about that, nor would you ever want to.

“Without you, I’d–” he cuts himself off. 

Without you, he’d be lost. Without you, even in death, he would not be able to find peace. 

“I promise,” you manage to say, although the words come with a fresh flood of salty tears that mix with the ocean of his. 

He relaxes into you. “Thank you.”

As he falls asleep in your arms that night, you find yourself staring up at the ceiling again.

“Don’t fail him,” you whisper. To God, to the universe, to the moon and Saturn, and to yourself. 

matt murdock angst tag list: @itwasthereaminuteago @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @thychuvaluswife @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @thatonegamefish @amberritonicole @pigeonmama @bohemianrhapsody86 @a-gir1-has-n0-name @winkev1 @callsign-ember @chittaphonstar @buckyyyismahhlife @trublu2u @xnatyx @zomtart @steve-chandler @lucienofthelakes @mochie-is-a-librarian @buckyssugarchick

[em-ontv]

—Real sweet, but I wish you were sober.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x hunter!fem!reader

Summary: One too many drinks led him to confess his feelings for you. You loved him, but you knew it was just words that he didn't mean, right?

Content: angst, unrequited love, drunk confession, alcohol/Dean getting drunk, English is not my first language, sorry if there are mistakes

Word count: 722

You helped Dean back to the motel room, his arm heavy around your shoulders as he stumbled, his steps uncertain. His head lolled to the side, eyes half-closed, but he muttered something about being "fine," even when he felt like a deadweight against you.

His breath was warm against your neck, laced with whiskey. For all the times you had watched him take down monsters without breaking a sweat, he seemed so vulnerable now, trusting you to get him safely to the bed.

You lowered him onto the bed, his hand catching yours, holding it a moment longer than necessary before he let go. His eyes found yours, softer than you had ever seen. You told yourself that it was just the alcohol that had him looking at you like that, like he saw something more than just a hunting partner.

"Y'know..." Dean mumbled, his words slurred and quiet, as if he was speaking to himself. "Sometimes... sometimes I think about things, you know?"

You sat beside him, keeping a slight distance, even though it nearly killed you to. "Yeah?"

His gaze settled on you, and even in his state, it felt almost too intense. "I think about how much easier this would be... if I had someone," he muttered, as though this was something he'd been carrying around for a long time. "Like... someone who's already here."

You kept your silence, hoping that he'd just drop it and let it be, but his brows furrowed, his drunken gaze coming to a startling clarity.

"You… you love me, don't you?" he asked, voice soft and a little unsteady.

Your throat tightened, and you forced yourself to look away, to hide behind a wall of sarcasm like you always did. "You're drunk, Dean. Get some sleep."

But he wouldn't let it go. He reached for your hand again, pulling you closer, his grip unexpectedly strong.

"No," he insisted, voice thick but more sure. "No, I know I'm drunk, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I've… I've known it, but I didn't want to see it, didn't want to let myself…" He trailed off. He moved until his face was just inches away from yours, his voice breaking gently. "But I love you too."

You looked away, holding your breath as the words sank in, leaving a raw ache in your chest. You wanted to believe him, wanted so badly for it to be real—you'd imagined this moment so many times, but now that it was here, it felt hollow. Because you knew it was just the whiskey talking.

"Dean," you whispered, pulling your hand back slowly. "You're not gonna remember this tomorrow. Let's just… let's just pretend it didn't happen, okay?"

But he shook his head, his hand went to caress the side of your face, his thumb brushing your cheek in a way that made your heart ache. "No— no, I'm not pretending," his voice was hoarse, his words barely audible, but each one hit harder than the last.

"I mean it. And I'm sorry I couldn't say it sooner." He pulled your hand close to his chest, his eyes glistening with tears as they met yours, a small, tired smile playing on his lips. "But I do..."

"I love you."

The words fell softly from him, the look in his eyes told you that he was genuine, that he meant it, yet clouded by the whiskey swirling through him. And that was what stung the most. You wanted to tell him that you loved him back, for so, so long, that you wanted to hold him and never let go, but you knew he won't remember any of this in the morning.

"Okay... I know. I know you love me." your breath was shaky, cupping his face in your hands. His eyes looked into yours, and it was as if you were everything to him.

"Go to sleep now, okay? You'll feel better in the morning." you whispered, your voice so quiet it was almost breaking.

He gave you a soft smile, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand before laying back down, resting his head on the pillow. His eyes slipped shut, and he fell asleep.

As you brushed a gentle hand over his hair, you whispered back.

"I love you too, Dean. More than you'll ever know."

[nicverse]

gates

just two fools loving each other. jason todd x fem!reader warnings: mention of blood, wounds and bullets.

ノㅤㅤ𓈒ㅤㅤ⊹ㅤㅤㅤㅤׅㅤㅤ✩ㅤㅤ˚ ♡

ㅤㅤׅ ㅤㅤㅤ𝅄ㅤㅤ꒪ㅤㅤ꒱ㅤ

Yes, sometimes he was a bit of a pain in the ass but you could never say you didn’t love him. He was trouble from the moment he stepped in your life, but the heart wants what it wants, and you opened your door for him every night so willingly. 

The more you denied your feelings, the harder it was to breathe without him. With Jason, you felt like your heart finally belonged to someone who appreciated it, he entered your soul and life without noticing, took you in his hands and guarded you as if you were his most precious treasure. 

The sins he committed every night were forgotten when he gave you his smile, a simple trace of happiness in his eyes wherever you were around him. Gotham was a cruel city but just the thought of living there without him made your heart race with desperation.

You would follow him anywhere. Jason never said it, but he would follow you too. He would take a hundred bullets for you if it meant keeping you safe —keeping you with him. He never thought he would need someone so much, but now every war he fought was for you, and every punch he threw was to keep the evil of the world away from you. 

You were complaining about another one of your coworkers while you cooked dinner. Jason loved listening to you, but he couldn’t help but admire the way you looked. It felt so oddly domestic. His arms resting in the kitchen aisle as you were too focused on your own thing, just talking about your day in your comfy clothes— a sight he wished he could wake up to every morning.  

“I know I shouldn't be thinking about murdering someone but this asshole makes me reconsider it,” you said, your eyes pinned on the food “I told you I could take care of him” Jason suggested, you shook your head quickly, turning to point him with your finger.

��No Jason, you can’t blackmail my coworker. I’ll deal with it myself” he chuckled with a roll of his eyes. You always insisted on taking care of things by yourself, too stubborn to let him make your life easier in his own ways. “What's the fun in that, princess?” you rolled your eyes, too used to his nicknames now. 

You secretly loved them. It made things special between you too, an unspoken agreement of intimacy. 

“Let me remind you, the last time I let you deal with something for me, you ended up with a bullet in your arm” you turned to face him, arms crossed in front of your chest. Jason smiled, nodding his head before speaking again. Your mind went back to your bloody bathroom, hands desperately trying to remove the bullet without killing him but he was smiling the whole time. 

Jason knew he would be fine with you. He decided to open his gates to his favorite angel: you. He let your hands run across his scarred chest and heal his wounds so tenderly, longing for the warmth of your fingers across his skin as you scolded him for being so selfless and impulsive... And Jason? He couldn't care less about your complains because he would repeat it over and over just to feel your hands in his body.

“I know, I would do it again just for you.”

—another one from my jason x journalist!reader. i'm writing the first chapter now but until i decide publish it i'll be updating you guys with these small interactions.

—i'm accepting requests now! i'd love to make yours <3

[uncannydevotion]

“ would you fall in love with me again? ”

a/n: someone sent in a request tht was for masky in relation to this song (epic the musical my beloved <3) but then it spiraled and i started thinking of other creepypastas w this song in mind and it became this so. so. so. yeah. i was gonna include more but i didn't wanna overwhelm myself so you only get these 3. weirdly turned into a sequel post for some of my other work?? somehow??

includes: masky, ticci toby, and homicidal liu.

warnings: purely self-indulgent, varying lengths, so many references to the song, mentions of murder, toby thinks of hurting the reader it's brief but idk heads up there, a lot of guilt and self-loathing, masky's part is technically a sequel to this post, and toby's part is vaguely a sequel to this post, lots of crying, many religious references in liu's part, attempted violence against reader in liu's part dw it's brief and not graphic, borderline unhealthy dependency in liu's part?? idk but the vibes are there i think.

MASKY

Two years. Two years had gone by since Slender wiped your memory of Masky. Two years since he was forced to leave you, forced to give up on the only thing that ever brought him happiness.

Two years, and you were standing right in front of him. And you remembered him. He doesn't know how, but you were looking at him with recognition in your eyes, his name falling from your lips.

His heart was racing so fast he thought he was dying, and his hands were shaking. It took everything in him to not run up to you, to not cling to you until he was certain you'd never leave.

He had been so sure that he'd never see you again. Truthfully, had he not been so utterly overjoyed seeing you, he would've been scared. When Slender finds out about this—and it will—it'll have you killed.

When he asked how you remembered, how you knew where he was, you smiled and told him that you didn't remember everything, just bits and pieces. But it had been enough to make you search him out, picking up on a trail he hadn't even realized he was leaving behind.

Honestly, Masky had dreamt of this moment far too many times. From the moment he left you behind, he would dream of reuniting with you. Dream of returning to your arms. It was hard to believe that this was real.

But he knew it was real.

Your touch felt far too warm to be fake as you gently took his mask off his face, revealing the tears staining his cheeks as he looked at you. He didn't even realize he was crying, he was just so caught up in the fact that he was with you.

Though his joy was short lived when he realized that this meant you knew what he was. A murderer, a cog in whatever machine Slender was running. He didn't deserve you. He didn't deserve your love, or your touch, or your smile.

He choked on his apology, barely able to get the words out as you pull him into a hug. He wants to tell you that you should just forget about him. Your life was probably easier with him gone, right? How could you ever fall in love with someone like him?

But all of his concerns seemed to go quiet with you here. Just this once... just this once he'll be selfish, and focus on the now.

TICCI TOBY

For as long as he can remember, Toby's felt as if he were missing something. He's never known what, but ever since Slender... took him in, it's felt as if a piece of him had disappeared. Or maybe he never felt whole? He... he can't remember.

Sometimes he'd have dreams. Dreams of his family, he thinks. A mom he can't remember, a father he murdered, a sister... did he have a sister? He doesn't know. He's not sure if he wants to know. But what he does know is that in some of his dreams, there's always someone else. Someone who isn't part of his family.

Someone who makes his heart ache when he wakes up. It's a confusing feeling, one that he finds himself loathing and clinging to at the same time. It's a feeling that reminds him that he's alive, at least.

A feeling he becomes unbearably aware of when he reunites with you in the forest. He was going to kill you. Wanted to kill you. But then you said his name, and so many memories came rushing back that he didn't know what to do.

So he scared you off.

But now, a few days after your less than friendly reunion, Toby wanted answers. You knew him, and he's sure he knew you. That's how he found himself lingering near the edge of the forest, hoping that maybe you'd come back.

And you must've wanted answers too, because you came back. You came back, and the conversation that followed was painfully awkward. He didn't apologize for trying to kill you. The urge was still there, really, and if you didn't have the answers he wanted, he'd probably give in to it.

According to you, you and Toby used to be friends. You had been in love with him, apparently, back when you were both younger. And strangely enough, Toby believed you. Something inside him told him he could trust you, something he didn't quite understand.

There was this fond expression on your face as you rambled off memories you had of him. He couldn't remember anything you were talking about, but it sounded familiar, and the look on your face had this tightness in his chest easing.

It was like he was home, in an odd way. He's not sure he's felt this content in a long time, just sitting here in the forest with you. There's this sick feeling of want in his chest as he looks at you, and it felt like he was going to suffocate because of it.

He doesn't even process the words he's spoken until you're looking at him with a shocked expression.

"Would you fall in love with me again?"

It was a stupid question. It was so fucking stupid, and he can't help but internally berate himself for asking it. How could you ever love him again? He tried killing you! He's killed more people than he can count, he's prone to violence, he's barely keeping himself together. How could you love someone like him?

But instead of you brushing the question off, you coax him into meeting your gaze, "I never stopped loving you."

And suddenly, the world didn't feel as lonely anymore.

HOMICIDAL LIU

Liu was never meant to fall in love with you, he thinks. You were like an angel, one he would never deserve. But meeting you, it made him realize that it was... okay to live, even just a little.

He's always been so caught up in hunting down Jeff, in trying to kill his own brother, that he's forgotten how to be a person. But you reminded him of that, like some sort of blessing from God.

He never knew what he was going to do once he finally killed his brother, but now he finds himself picturing a future with you. It seems a bit silly, especially since there's no telling whether or not he'd be able to deal with Jeff without dying himself, but...

It's a dream he finds himself thinking of often.

And Liu was, by no means, shy about his past with you. You knew everything, right down to the smallest little detail. The small things, like what his mother's favorite food was, and how he used to spend the weekends at his granddad's.

You knew everything. You knew that Liu was out to kill his brother, something he had admitted to you one night under the stars. He had been ashamed, the confession coming from him quietly, his hand tightly grasping yours, scared that you might shy away from him.

The fact that you didn't leave him meant everything, more than you'll ever know. You didn't condone murder, but you also understood that this was something he had to do. And you promised to be with him every step of the way.

Truly, a gift from God.

Which is why Liu could feel his head pounding, knife shaking in his hands. His chest was heaving, and he was only vaguely aware of the blood staining his clothes and skin as he stared down at the person he just murdered. Someone who tried to hurt you. He doesn't know the full story, all he knows if that their grip on you was too tight, the fear in your gaze making him see red.

He only really understands what he's done when he hears you saying his name. Tears were streaming down your face as you gently pried the knife out of his hand. Liu never killed. It was always Sully. Never him. Never. But this... this was him.

Liu just murdered someone. For you. Right in front of you. You... you witnessed it. Oh dear lord, what has he done? He barely registers the tears in his eyes, apologies spilling from his lips. He didn't apologize for committing the act, but he apologized for letting you see it.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to see that. You shouldn't--fuck--are you okay?"

There was a feeling of panic swelling up in his chest at the thought of you realizing how horrible of a person he truly is. The thought of you leaving had his throat closing up, and it was difficult trying to take in deep breaths. It was bad enough that he could feel Sully trying to take over, to spare him from the panic and stress.

Anything you were saying went unheard until he felt your hands cupping his cheek, forcing him to look at you. There was a look of determination in your eyes, and it's almost as if you knew where his thoughts were spiraling as you spoke.

"Nothing can make me leave you. I don't care if you kill thousands of people, I'd fall in love with you over and over again. I'm here, always."

And Liu can't help but cry. You were too good for him. He didn't deserve you. He'll never deserve you. But he clings to you.

God may never forgive him for his sins, but getting into Heaven didn't seem so important anymore as you pulled him into your arms.

[starringthesturniolos]

bite me(part 5) matt sturniolo

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

summary: matt hates your guts but all of that changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.

contains: vampire!matt x reader, highschool au! (18 years old), dark themes, death, smut (not in this part)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

matts pov.

"okay, you guys should feel different any minute now" Madi says before giving me a look. a look that says what I am doing is stupid. judging by the sadness that's roaming in my chest, I'm guessing y/n thinks its stupid too. why does she care, its not like she likes me, I think to myself. but even as I think it, I can't help but cringe at the loss of emotions I would have from getting rid of the bond. sure, it was annoying sometimes, but hell, Iife gets a little boring when you've been living for so long. its easy to go numb and become desensitized, and that's what made y/n an anomaly. even before the mating bond, she made me feel things. even things I didn't want to feel like annoyance and anger.

I look over at her and I can't help but stare. she's so pretty, I think even as the bond fades into a dull nothing.

"quite staring, your freaking me out" she says looking at me. I can see the tears in her eyes, and ,even though the bonds gone, I know she wishes there weren't any. I knew her and I knew that she didn't like to feel like others had power to make her sad or upset. she never wanted to lose control. I can't help but note how much I know about her. more than I thought I knew.

I look away and grab her arm and sigh at the fact that there are no tingles or heat that flash through me this time. "I'll take you home, it's been a long night." and so from there we head back to the car. shit, I almost forgot about chris. I open my phone to call him, but I see a text notification from him instead. "I'm going to stay, the spell could take all night for me" it says. I can't help but wonder how someone can take away the pain of losing a mate, but shrug it off. if I knew I'd be a magic user, not a vampire. and I wouldn't be standing here awkwardly with a girl I hated two days ago. a girl I wish I could comfort, but don't know how too. we climb in the van and I turn on the car. the hiss of the ac and the quiet hum of the radio are the only sounds in the car. she opens her mouth and closes it again. "what? what is it?" i sigh because the tension is killing me.

"if the bond is gone then why am I still sad?" she says quietly. I note the fact that this is the most vulnerable I've ever seen her. she's always had a strong front, and always had something smart to say. but now in the quiet that is my van, I feel like I see her, the real her.

"I don't know why." I say honestly, but cringe at the monotone way I say it. like I didn't care to know why she was upset, and right then I knew her walls were going to come back up before they even do. she shrugs and wipes her face once. "can I play music then, I don't like moping around." she sighs, grounding herself again. "I know you don't" I say softly "and yes you can, as long as you don't have shit music taste" I smirk at the end. teasing her is so much easier and more natural then whatever we've been doing the past 15 minutes. "Oh it's amazing, you're gonna wanna add my songs to your playlist when I'm done. " she takes the mood change and runs with it. she even laughs and I don't even try to stop myself from admiring her smile.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I pull into her house and all the lights are on and there are clanging noises coming from the inside of her home. its damn near 5 am and no one should be up that early on a Sunday morning. we were just having a good time, surprisingly, listening to music with each other. we both like the same kind of music and even though I acted like I hated her singing I didn't mind. but she wasn't singing now, she actually looked really scared.

"my dads home" she whispers and looks at me with wide glossy eyes. worry flutters in my chest at the sight of her being afraid. this guy must be bad news. "he rarely ever comes home" she says in the same quiet tone her eyes widening even further before she turns to me. "I thought Madi said she put a protection spell on me." she runs her hands through her hair and her breathing is picking up. if she keeps this up, she's going to have a panic attack.

" she did, okay, so you have nothing to worry about!" the words sound all wrong coming out of my mouth. I meant for them to come out comforting but instead they sound a bit like I just want her to shut up and get out of my car. why do I always have to sound so mean.

her breathing picks up more and she's crying now. "you don't know what he's like, matt! you've never met the guy. he doesn't want anything to do with me! and when he comes home, he's always drunk" she pauses and closes her eyes gasping for breath. "and he's mean!" she sobs. before I can stop myself I grab her face and guide her gaze away from the house to me. if she hadn't told me this, I would have never known she'd been hurt this way. I couldn't help but wonder how many times she came home to find a nightmare in her house.

"you don't have to be with that guy" I say slowly and nod my head before continuing

"just stay with me" I whisper.

@bbernard-03

@sturnthepot

@hoeformatt

@sturtriple16

@faygo-frog

@sturniol0s

@katie-tibo

@cindylcuwho

[thus-wrote-mrs-zeppeli]

AHHHH HIHIHI !!

just wanna start by sayinh youre like one of my fav people on this platform i live and die for every post 😭💞

And i finally caught the requests so !!

Headcanons for various jojo characters with a reader who has a healing stand mayhaps?

Feel free to put whoever else in, i dont mind, but i'd love it if you could do bruno and diego, my bbgs fr 🙏

Hihihi!! Aaaaa thank you so much I am SO honored!!!! And when u mentioned Bruno and Diego r your bbgs I had a “did I just send MYSELF a request??” Moment lolol literally I had to physically restrain myself from calling Bruno my wife when Jojo came up while I was chatting with some people irl the other day lolol-

I love him and Diego so much! And YES, I can do this! Sounds interesting~

Bruno’s takes place before Giorno joins the squad

Content: for Diavolo and Diego: possessive and controlling behaviors, light depiction of injury

Various jjba characters x reader with a healing stand:

“Doctor! Doctor!”

Characters: Rohan Kishibe, Bruno Bucciarati, Diavolo, Diego Brando

Rohan Kishibe: You cannot BELIEVE he sometimes argues with you over healing him. Rohan has had a difficult personality for as long as you’ve known him, but really…you must insist you accompany him on his travels despite his protests. You’ve seen on more than enough occasions he’s liable to put himself in dangerous situations and get hurt. So you’re going with him.

He’ll always fight you on it, claiming it’s much easier to travel alone; but he has SOME nerve saying you in particular are difficult to travel with, because he always has some sort of grievance about almost everything when you go anywhere together.

You tell him if he didn’t put himself in harm’s way all the time you wouldn’t have to follow him around.

And even if he claims he won’t this time, you both know that’s not really a claim he can make. His inquisitive nature will Always get the best of him, so you will be there for when that curiosity inevitably gets him terribly injured in some way.

Thank goodness your man is difficult to kill…but he really needs to stop pushing his luck, it’s bad for both of you.

And despite him pretending your presence doesn’t change anything on his trips, he will try to be a little bit more careful when you’re involved. He thinks it’s because your constant worrying is irritating, but honestly he can’t bring himself to willingly lead you into something too dangerous. Most of the time.

Bruno Bucciarati: He will always consider himself responsible for the safety of his team, and the nature of your stand ability means you ease his mind when you’re near. You’ve seen his gang. They’re reckless, quick to get into fights, even with each other-there’s no need to worry about him but PLEASE do whatever you’re willing to do to make sure the others aren’t bleeding out from stab or gunshot wounds, or limping around with broken bones.

At Bruno’s request, you would always prioritize healing the injuries of the people he’s in charge of, but when the opportunity arises you will offer him some healing too.

He might not get nearly as bloodied and beaten as Mista does all the time…but you’ve noticed your dear Bucciarati seems to get chronic headaches, that especially intensify when he’s stressed about his work or managing the team. You never make a big deal out of it, don’t even mention it really, when you use your stand to ease his pain.

But he’ll always make a point to thank you. And gently remind you that he’s fine and you should focus your energy elsewhere.

You can only try to respect that for so long though. I mean, the reason your stand heals is because it’s in your nature to severely hate seeing your loved ones suffer.

And it’s not like he can be mad at you for caring about him. It’s just an unfamiliar feeling for him…he’s used to focusing all his attention on others and shouldering their burdens and taking care of them…so having you around trying to ease his pains…very unfamiliar, but not unwelcome.

It will take a while, but eventually he’ll grow comfortable enough to even ask for your healing touch when his pain is a little too much to bear on his own. But more often than not you’ll have to nag him to not push himself too hard and let you help him.

Diavolo: He considers it very fortunate you stumbled into his path. You consider it very Unfortunate. The Boss of Passione is an extraordinarily demanding partner, expecting absolute obedience and loyalty from you in return for his “love” and protection.

You’re not sure when you even wanted to be in a relationship with him, but you’re in too deep now. Defying an obsessive and paranoid man like him at this point would only get you in even more trouble.

He’s smothering, constantly breathing down your neck and making sure you’re not planning anything, and when he does let you leave wherever he’s decided to hole himself up, Doppio is always accompanying you. You’re expected to heal him if anything should happen, but you know Diavolo only says that in a weak attempt to veil that Doppio is actually the one watching you.

Daring to reveal your stand in front of anyone that is not him or Doppio will get you in hot water with the entire Italian mafia.

But it’s not like Diavolo needs your healing…he’s never around anyone who can hurt him anyways! You really are some just in case tool he keeps in his pocket; so your life is incredibly boring, even if it’s safe. And moving around all the time for his anonymity’s sake is annoying and uncomfortable. What’s the point of your stand if you can’t use it to help people?! He Really hates that compassionate nature of yours. Makes sense, given how thoroughly selfish he is…The two of you do not click at all, but he doesn’t care. You don’t need to like him, but he’s not letting you leave as long as you’re an incredibly useful tool.

Diego Brando: He does so adore how useful his partner’s stand is…To cure any sort of fatigue and injury…such a boon to him! He wants you all to himself and he will NOT be sharing you. So don’t even THINK about flashing your stand to anyone other than him, he won’t forgive you if you do that! He’s definitely using you a bit to his advantage. But he takes care of you in turn, making sure you live a comfortable life and giving you whatever you ask for. All you have to do is follow his easy rule and he’ll be a sweet and doting husband for you. Simple, right?

It tugs at your conscience sometimes though. To sit quietly on the side while someone suffers, simply because your husband demanded it. But a part of you can’t bear even the thought of upsetting Diego, after he’s been so good to you…and all he asked for was one simple thing.

And he was just looking out for you by telling you to keep your gift a secret…He cupped your cheeks in his hands so gently as he reminded you how bad it would be if an evil person found out about your powers. You could be in a lot of danger, and he might not be able to save you. So please, don’t needlessly endanger yourself like that. He couldn’t bear it if anything bad happened to you.

Deep down you know he’s just saying that to keep you under his control, but you love him…and you honestly believe at least a part of him also loves you.

So you’ll bend to his will usually. But what Diego doesn’t know can’t hurt him. If you mend a broken bone or ease a sore throat on occasion he might not find out. And even if he does find out, how mad can he really get at that? (Pretty damn mad, but you have too much value in his eyes for him to deal Too harshly with you, despite what he might say in the heat of the moment).

-

Ngl I kinda blanked when coming up with additional characters, so I just went with some more faves, haha, the POWER of: “feel free to put whoever else in”!

[stardustprompts]

vengeful  -  v.e. schwab  sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying  tw :  death , violence , language , mental health

‘what a fucking cliche.’

‘envy really doesn’t suit you.’

‘don’t you turn that knife on me unless you plan to use it…’

‘you should have let it go.’

‘you can’t just do that to me!’

‘you’ve been gone for hours.’

‘you never said I had to play fair.’

‘that’s a risk I’m willing to take.’

‘you look like a narc.’

‘it feels like dying.’

‘people have an idea of pain. they think they know what it is, how it feels, but that’s just an idea. it’s a very different thing when it becomes concrete.’

‘I did this. I did this to you.’

‘I am alive because of you.’

‘you think I’m playing god? fine, you play, (name). you decide, right now, who should live. us, or them?’

‘it’s a big world. you’re not the only one with talents.’

‘isn’t it silly to lie when we both know the truth?’

‘I think sometimes you make the easiest choice instead of the right one.’

‘make me the villain of that night, (name). wash you hands of any blame.’

‘a promise you can’t keep is just another lie.’

‘I don’t want you to save me. I want to save myself.’

‘I warned you when we met, I wasn’t a good person.’

‘killing me won’t bring her back either.’

‘think hard. we all have to live with our choices.’

‘the next time you point a gun at someone, make sure you’re ready to pull the trigger.’

‘we survived. that's what makes us so powerful.’

‘blood is always family, but family doesn’t always have to be blood.’

‘not all family is blood, right? sometimes we have to find a new one. sometimes we get lucky, and they find us.’

‘this isn’t a stupid game. it’s my life.’

‘are you used to getting what you want?’

‘hasn’t it occurred to you that I can protect myself?’

‘in this world, in my world, people get hurt. they die.’

‘people die in every world. I’m not going anywhere.’

‘you want to be more, (name)? prove it.’

‘they may think they’re kings but we’re the power behind the throne.’

‘i’m not a fucking coat, (name). you don’t get to check me at the door.’

‘where I go, you go. we’re in this together. step for step.’

‘did you always know that you had what it took to end a life?’

‘I thought it would be hard, but in that moment, nothing was easier.’

‘you were never one to dwell on the past. I loved that about you, the way things always just rolled off.’

‘every end is a new beginning.’

‘I underestimated you once. I don’t intend to do so again.’

‘the only difference between us is that you naively insist on preserving what I know should be destroyed.’

‘I played god once and it did not end well.’

‘oh no, it will never work between us.’

‘sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt, you just looked sad.’

‘while I admire how far you’ve come, the fact is, you’re tracking mud into my home.’

‘we can’t shape our past. only our future.’

‘don’t you ever wonder if it’s our fault?’

‘life is more than an equation. a person is more than the sum of their parts.’

‘normal is overrated.’

‘A\a magician doesn’t reveal his secrets.’

‘every power has its limits.’

‘we don’t decide who lives and who dies.’

‘now who’s letting their ideals cloud their judgement?’

‘how quickly we devolve. people become animals the moment they are caged.’

‘if you were superhuman, what would your power be?’

‘ignorance is only bliss if you want to get caught.’

‘i’m still here, still doing what I can, because I want to keep people safe.’

‘never underestimate a woman.’

‘I thought I could save him. I tried. but it didn’t work.’

‘power belongs to those who take it.’

‘sharks come swimming when you make a splash.’

‘that’s quite a talent you have there.’

‘I only hope you’re ready to do the right thing,’

‘you help me, and I’ll help you.’

‘everything’s got a limit. you should find yours.’

‘I don’t feel anything.’

‘oh, sorry, if you thought this was a girl’s-night-out kind of thing where we get drunk and bond, I’ll have to pass.’

‘why settle for one weapon when you can have an arsenal?’

‘the life I had is gone. there’s no getting it back.’

‘the life I had is gone. there’s no getting it back. i’d rather make a new one. a better one.’

‘I thought you were done with hiding.’

‘people can see an awful lot, and believe none of it.’

‘why sit around sulking when you could hurt the people who hurt you?’

‘let’s talk about revenge.’

‘there are limits. I can’t stop nature. can't change it’s course.’

‘whatever’s happened to you, however you’re hurt, you’ve done it to yourself.’

‘oh, I like to think I have a great deal of nerve.’

‘if you had a damn bit of sense you would have run.’

'knowledge may be power, but money buys both.’

‘sometimes subtlety is overrated.’

‘when people stay in the dark, it’s easier to make them disappear.’

‘I don’t want to survive, I want to thrive.’

‘what now? you gonna throw yourself a fucking party?’

‘if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had something against me.’

‘if I wanted you dead, you would be.’

‘whatever you’ve heard, it’s probably true.’

‘is there anyone who doesn’t want to kill you?’

‘how many excuses will you find to vindicate your own stubbornness?’

‘careful is a calculated risk. and I’m very good at making those.’

‘the truth is, there will always be someone stronger than you.’

‘you do what you can. you fight, and you win, until you don’t.’

‘once upon a time, power was determined by linage—- the age of blood. then it was determined by money—- the age of gold. but I think it’s time for a new age. the age of power itself.’

‘let me guess, I’m either with you or against you?’

‘you always preferred being predator to prey.’

‘we just have to lie low until it’s over, and then—’

‘when this is over, you and I are going to have words.’

‘it appears that we are evenly matched.’

‘it always comes down to this, doesn’t it? to us.’