#so idk when I'll be able to finish this !
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drawing more taash/bellara. help
#dragon age#bellara lutare#taash#bellataash#f#breaking my no wips on tumblr rule because idk when I'll be able to finish this. I don't want to deprive you guys#the response on the comic has been so cool I forgot how fun it is to think about a niche pairing and make everyone insane with me#if me going crazy on it inspires anyone else to draw or write for them my job will have been successful
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(wip) i've missed drawing these two...
#curse you final shape for being as good as you were#MAN i missed these two ngl#these sketches are part of a larger comic that i wanna do#but idk when i'll be able to finish it so have these lil frames instead!#wip#echo#echo 3#oc#the guardian#the young wolf#cayde#cayde 6#destiny cayde#hunter vanguard#hearts and spades#63#cayde x oc#cayde x the young wolf#cayde x the guardian#destiny#destiny 2#echosong971#art#digital art#fanart#destiny art#destiny fanart#cayde art
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Telemachus doodle because You Should Listen To Epic
#i know i said the project i was working on would take about two weeks#and it is almost finished#but i ended up burning myself out a little and feeling really tired the last few days of the holiday#and because school's started back idk when i'll get around to finishing it#i might be able to this weekend#no promises though#anyway i am so fucking hyped for vengeance saga#dangerous is already my favourite song without having even heard the full thing#also he/they telemachus#fight me#epic#epic the musical#telemachus#telemachus epic the musical#fanart#epic the musical fanart#telemachus fanart#calen draws
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@vanweek2024 day 4 - food
peep the vanny
#my art#vanweek2024#vanny fnaf#the stinky rabbit is also here technically but its a minor cameo so i will not be tagging it lmao#sso anyway. admittedly this one was really rushed but i was going for a simple style anyway so? idk it worked out#originally when i finished the lineart my program didnt actually save it. its very outdated and weird so it happens sometimes but UGHHHH#luckily it does save the thumbnail for the image... so i was able to save it#i did do all the coloring in an entirely different program bc of this though#and SPEAKING of the coloring i edited this like a MILLION times#PISSED ME OFFFFF ugh#its done now though. smiles#but if i stare at it too long i'll want to edit it again BDJZJFJG#so YEAH this one. despite being so simple. gave me a lot of trouble HFJSJGJG#anyway uh just in case this is only a US thing.... i based this off of 'peeps' which are like a marshmallow candy#that come in two main shapes: a little baby chick and a little bunny rabbit. theyre mainly for easter i think#honestly i hate them. HFJSJFKF but theyre rabbit shaped so u know. rabbits
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Inktober Day 26 - Discarded
Once again I've started rereading @post-it-notes7's fic Heart and Soul and am as always having a Wonderful time with it unlike the protagonists
(will probably go back in and add the shading later but for now it's 2am so it's gettin posted!)
#I still plan to do the shading but idk if i'll be able to have it done before october ends since i'm about to fly out for a conference lol#i Might be able to take my sketchbook but i might also just wait to do it some other time when things are less hectic#def do plan to finish it up at some point though#inktober#inktober2023#meta knight#galacta knight#heart and soul#h&s#do i still need to tag spoilers the relevant chapter has been out for quite a while by this point haha#despite reading the relevant chapter like 2 days ago i couldn't recall if the moon phase was mentioned so feel free to ignore it if I'm off#my art#doodles#drops gk like a sack of flour#he's fine
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the "big picture" - whether that refers to some detached, calculated greater good; ruthless ambition and progress for the sake of progress; or even the dear listeners' cosmic indifference - as an antagonistic force in wolf 359 is so fascinating to me because of the way eiffel as a protagonist is set up to oppose it, just by nature of who he is. eiffel retains his humanity even under the most inhumane circumstances. his strength is in connection, and with that he's able to reach others who share his core values, but he's operating under a fundamentally different framework from the show's antagonists. he can never understand where they're coming from or be swayed by their points of view because, for better or worse, he can only see the world through a close personal lens.
it's an ideological conflict he has with all of them, but notably with hilbert: "you talk about helping people, but what about the real, live people around you? [...] that's your problem. you're so zoomed out." eiffel will never, ever see that "big picture" because he is so zoomed in. at his best, he puts things into perspective and grounds the people around him. at his worst, his perspective narrows so drastically inwards that he becomes blind to everyone and everything else. his failings are deeply, tragically human - they're personal, they're impulsive, they're self-destructive. they're selfish. no matter how much he might try to narrativize or escape from himself, he's still left with doug eiffel: "it's taken me this long to realize that running from everyone else means that you're alone with yourself." eiffel could never be convinced to harm others on purpose, but he has hurt people, and it's never been because he didn't care. the very fact that he cares so much, that he's incapable of reconciling the hurt he's caused with the things he values, is what keeps him from real growth for so long. where many of the other characters in wolf 359 will justify their cruelty in service of something they consider more important, eiffel is so caught up in vilifying himself and the fear that he's always going to harm the people he cares for without meaning to that he shuts himself off from the people who care about him and perpetuates his own self-fulfilling prophecy.
#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#someday i'll finish my essay about the big picture as an antagonistic force. it's only been on my list of things to do for uh. ever#eiffel really cannot be convinced by Big Picture ideology in any form because he's so. unambitious and inwardly focused#he's not self-reflective at ALL but he is self-centered#and in some ways that's genuinely a good thing#but it's interesting. that he vilifies himself and tries so hard to. externalize his redemption and see some humanity in others#as proof he might be able to be better. when if those people consider themselves villains at all then they consider it necessary#i'm not sure if i'm phrasing this the way i want to but his worldview is just. fundamentally incompatible.#when i think about eiffel i think a lot about. how self-loathing is also a kind of exceptionalism. considering yourself uniquely bad#is its own way of avoiding accountability.#idk. it's complicated. it's a lot. it's interesting that lovelace talks about the 'big picture' when she's briefly a sort-of antagonist#but her 'big picture' is personal and emotionally driven in a way no other use of the phrase is#and then of course you have hera in am i alone now. such a big big universe etc.#when she betrays that perspective immediately and directly by talking about it through such a narrow personal framework#one of the most direct examples of 'big picture' thinking vs. personal connection in that contradiction. but that's another post maybe.
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prepping for my Bonus Days. i love tutorial agent lmao
#chemi chats#yknow. last year's ''take sundays off'' made a lot of sense.#october 2023 was PERFECT for skilltober as it was a full four weeks (so six days for each skill type per week plus a day off)#and left two days at the end - the 30th and 31 - for Ancient Reptilian and Limbic. so it worked out really evenly!!#using the same method in 2024 does not yield the same clean results hjkjg it looks. so fucking messy gang hgkjg#but generally you can take any 5 days off? it would make sense to split it at the first any five days in a row.#like how we had five sundays last year. so like if we had five mondays this month we'd do free days on mondays right?#but this months was tuesdays and we all STARTED on tuesday SO LIKE HGKJG OKAY MAN. NOW WHAT HGKJ#i want to be posting the same skills as everyone else everyday but that's a bit much to ask yknow? syncing up is fun but its HARD man hgkjg#the reason why im talking about this is because im NOT taking the free days hgkjg or maybe i'll take one who knows lmao hgkj#but my ''free'' days are: Tutorial Agent with the INTs. Solace with the PSYs. Volta Do Mar with the FYSs. Kinetic Dressage with the MOTs.#and maybe Vices thrown in there? i might make Vices physique and put Volta with the psyches? and make Solace a little bonus end?#because i love her and shes special hgkj but i guess i'll see hkjf but EITHER WAY im gonna be posting on whenever free days are hgkj#so if everyone takes sundays+halloween off (except me because im Fucking Entrenched In This Shit) then thats when i'll post#(even though it'd be messy as hell like. splitting up the skill types hkjg??) maybe it'd make sense to do mondays+halloween so we can#finish a skill type section before taking a break/doing my bonus skills? and it'd even out but that requires coordination hgkjsk#sigh. or for me to accept that we'll all eventually fall out of sync and thats fine hgkj (<- I can be fine with this. It's just messy hkjg)#oh idk :P im gonna take my ''break''/bonus days on mondays+halloween and whatever happens happens <33#(<- assuming im gonna be able to finish a monthly challenge lmaooo) okay ive got a headache lmao goodnight i love you all as always <33
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I have officially started painting the walls in the living room.
well, I've mixed/adjusted the paint and painted some swatches and put up masking tape and all that stuff. I'll be painting tomorrow. I'm so excited (to get started, but mostly that I'll finally be all done with evvvverything*)
*until I think of the next thing I want to do, and the next one after that, and -
#I'm just so damn happy I actually managed to get everything else done today!! the living room was a mess before#well it's even worse right now but that's because all the furniture is in the middle of the room lol#but yeah I finished unpacking almost everything (there's still a few boxes with like old memory stuff etc. in the storage room but that#doesn't count because we don't use or need that stuff)#and I cleaned and I did the laundry and I put away (some) clean laundry and I blocked most of the bunting for the birthday garland I'm#making and I tidied everything and I fixed a bunch of things and#okay I think that's all#but hey that's kind of a lot?#idk but it definitely is for me#I think I sat down for maaaybe an hour or two the entire day?? that's. actually concerning and it explains the pain in my feet oh no#sometimes when I'm walking (not standing) I don't notice the pain until it's too late...#well shit I hope I'll be able to actually paint tomorrow lol. guess I'll have to sit down for some of it but I did that last time too and it#was alright#personal
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#text#polls#im rly curious abt this#i havent painted in foreverrr :{ i took an oil painting class that i loved but working with paint that never dries was difficult#but also helpful to be able to wipe it off even like a week after i fucked up lol#i liked it tho !! i wish id gotten to spend more time on my final bc it was so fun but i wasnt quite done#literally went in with a paint pen like last month to touch up some stuff#might go try and finish it fully but idkkkk. i dont have oil paints so id have to do it in acrylic and idk how easy itd be#ANYWAy#ive never worked with ink before and i only have worked with oil paint in that class#but the other three ive used a lot and when it comes to on Paper and not canvas#acrylic dries fast which is difficult for me#and watercolor dries slow bc. thats water. and it doesnt always go where i want it to#so usually i prefer gouache bc its a little thicker but not too thick and it dries quick but not too quick. a happy medium#just like goldilocks#on canvas tho i usually prefer acrylic#i think bc i get scared to use up my gouache paints on a bigger canvas#^saying all this and i havent painted in months. </3#im not even particularly good at it i just like it. makes me happy#waugh. its nice out today maybe i'll go out and paint :} it miught rain tho#so who knows
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Dropping 3 episodes at once is such an evil thing to do to gifmakers! Just saying!
(jk I love it)
#yes i'm dutifully downloading and converting files#the most unsung part of making gifs lmao#i watched the first episode in the morning (in a room i couldn't black out which was a mistake!) and then went to work#and i'm about to get off work to finish watching#and then i'll probably rewatch tonight just so i can absorb every dimly lit scene in all its glory#also i think we can all agree that halbrand!sauron is the embodiment of 'if evil why hot'#like#i can't check the tag before finishing watching but i'll be surprised if there aren't a million sets of him come tomorrow and well-deserved#i don't even know where i want to start#also i'll probably be taking requests in the coming weeks#and i'll be using 'rop spoilers' for the really spoiler-y parts bc i know not everyone will be able to watch asap#(idk why i'm doing all this via tag commentary in the year of our lord 2024 but here we are lol)#(also i should probably tell y'all my main so you know when it's me liking posts in this fandom... i'm shy tho so we'll see haha)
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#well I just submitted my essay for my history class so I'm finally done with finals#I wish I felt happier or relieved or something but I don't. I feel awful. my body hurts from the incredible amount of tension/anxiety I had#trying to finish it before 11:59. I submitted it at 11:55. I have never come that close before and I hate it#the amount of anxiety I had you'd think the deadline was hunting me for sport#and what's worse is I felt all this anxiety and put all this work into it and I'm not even happy about it#I spent two days trying to figure out what he wanted us to write about because apparently he just seems to be really bad at instructions#like I thought maybe it was just me overthinking but I spent two hours talking to my mom about it and in the end even she couldn't figure i#so then I had only two days to gather notes make an outline write an essay. while burnt out and barely able to focus.#and while not knowing exactly what I was doing like is this what he wants. is it not. who knows I literally don't have time left#to figure it out I just need to write something and hope it works#but I hate being unsure it makes everything harder#especially because I really wanted to make a good grade. this was the class where I made a 78 on my midterm#which brought my class grade to a B but I'd been able to get it back to an A and I'd be able to keep it if I got like an 80ish on the final#the essay turned out okay idk if it's what he wanted but whatever at least I got the other requirements like word count and sources#but the CITATIONS...we had to use chicago which I'd never used before and let me just say. mla is the love of my life after this.#actually chicago might not be that bad if I got used to it I think my violence should be directed toward every word processor#that links footnotes. it is so STUPID that there isn't an easier way to make them different#if it hadn't been for trying to figure out footnotes on google docs I could've submitted it like ten minutes earlier#and with phenomenally less stress#I eventually had to make a choice as to what I'd give up: (1) submitting it on time (2) perfect citations or (3) word doc#which is what he wanted it submitted as#except when I tried that thank goodness I looked at the preview before I submitted it because I saw that it'd messed up the citations#I ended up submitting it as a pdf. on time. with perfect (maybe) (I didn't have time to double check) citations. but not as a word doc.#is it the end of the world? idk probably not but not meeting a professor's requirements is like. anathema.#all of that is to say that I'm going to cry and then let it go and get to bed and just. idk. I've reached that point where#I'm so tired and numb that it feels like I'll never feel better#anyway#maybe I hurt because of my meds and the side effects decided to kick in now because the grace of God held them back long enough#for me to finish#earl crow ramblings
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The final chapter of my silly accountant AU is finally up!! The feelings are intensifying, Esen is esening and Ayushiridara is going through some very confusing times.
#the radiant emperor#fanfic stuff#baob3i#wang baoxiang/third prince#this last chapter got kind of emotional hope you're into that shit#also the esen storyline got really blown up but I think that's still fitting for a baoxiang centric fic lmao#I totally have plans for a small extra chapter but idk when I'll actually write it#I'm getting the keys to my new apartment today and will be moving there next friday so I won't be able to write for a while#just super happy I got this finished for now
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I regret to inform everyone we're back in the white space. Expect the fire alarm to go off periodically in typical fashion of whenever it detects a steaming pile of garbage on the way. Like me! [i'll give a cookie to whoever recognizes where the sfx is from!!]
#hand jumper#sighs#projected second taeho gyeon tag on ao3.....#where did i go wrong#we're so joever guys#we're so joever...#mandatory plugin for the hand jumper discord server because i think the culprit wouldn't want to own up#or even has tumblr idk#but just know they're on my hitlist and i hate[/pos] them#also yes it's more cell 3#if i had to summarise think of it an evil version of the halloween fic#except even worse#honestly though if you're able to JOIN THE HJ DISCORD SERVEEEEEER#SOMEONE WAS COOKING FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!#it's like that one bromie on discord said if 3 guys came to the same conclusion at radically different intervals then maybe it's something!#or eveyone's on the same drug#BUT I CHOOSE TO BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE#and so in orderly fashion what do i do when i really wanna poke and prod at them more?#throw them in the torture nexus#granted it's not really a torture nexus because the bet is everytime cell three appears in a chapter i delete and start the draft over agai#it is.#but that's not my problem!!!#it's future me who'll fret over tuesday's episodes problem!!#also it puts it in a perpetual state of agony because if what if the day we say“i'll finish tomorrow p much done” is the day cell 3 shows u#ctrl+shift+del+seethe+mald+cope#also i'd say compared to finish in three days it's the most lenient artificial deadline ever#because either cell 3 or cell 3 mentor appears and i win by getting more food to improve the work#or i hand it in as is if they don't and shoot myself when they do after i just finished#also if you ever want to ask me to drop/drop the hj memes i made in the server just holler#because i forget to post here chronically!!!!!!!!
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who up sinning their fest
#one of my worst recent hyperfixations i'll admit#and i dont even have an excuse like ohhh i used to read this back in the late 2000s before all the terf shit#no i got into it in late 2023 this school year cause i stumbled across the tvtropes page#and i was like 'sinfest'? isnt that the name of that terf Twitter comic? but the cover image showed a sick ass artstyle so i read it#and im just obsessed with it now its such a strange spectacle. its like a political cartoon and a newspaper comic at the same time#my fav era has gotta be late 2000s maybe early 2010s sinfest... hell maybe even mid 2010s sinfest if i ignore the sisterhood#now every strip is just about jewish people or calling trans women groomers#and almost every once-likable character is now canonically a terf and/or racist and/or antivaxxer etc#or theyre just not in the comic at all anymore like my dear criminy and fuschia#i hope we never get another appearance from them godbless#cause last time we saw criminy he was helping squig and slick break a terf out of she/her penitentiary. with fuschia's permission#theyre definitely the best part of 2010s sinfest. a bygone era#the best part of 2000s sinfest is the sharp artstyle and lil e just being evil#and the best part of 2020s sinfest seems to be. um. laughing at how ridiculous it is? its kind of hard to enjoy though.#i intend to stay updated on it because i like being able to say i've read all of sinfest start to finish#but man i gotta get an adblocker soon cause i read it on the official website cause idk how else to read it online and the ads are constant#really funny when ur reading a strip criticizing the prevalence of ads in our day to day life#not as funny when you remember tatsuya is probably making money off of them. so yeah im gonna install ublock#but the problem is i usually read it on my school computer to pass time. and that technically isnt my computer so i cant download ublock#anyways. i could ramble on about how much i love and hate and am obsessed w sinfest all day but heres some fanart of the characters.#id like to make my own headcanon version of sinfest aka sinfest if it was good#but headcanons arent enough... i need to kill tatsuya ishida#sinfest#squigley sinfest#monique sinfest#lil e sinfest#the devil sinfest#tangerine sinfest#images that are horrid to see and look at#mspaint
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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