#cayde x the guardian

[echosong971]

old sketch/drawing wips i thought i'd post cause heaven knows when i'll actually finish these ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[echosong971]

AHHHH them!!! ♥️♥️♥️

this started as a pose ref and turned into a fullblown blender render for @echosong971 !! caydeecho my beloved

[what-did-you-just-say]

Hello, can I get Shaxx, Cayde, Drifter, and maybe Crow with a reader who is really shy, and timid but if there tired or angry they just couldn't care less, they'll just pop people's heads off practically.

HELLOOOO! Hi, sorry I didn't react sooner but I saw your request and kinda forgot about writing it! I'm so sorry!

So here it is!! Well, I tried to be as close to the characters as possible without them being OOC. I hope you like it!

(I know they're a little short, I tried my best)

Lord Shaxx

- he'd be...surprised, honestly. Shaxx is the kind of man who encourages your might in the Crucible but he came to terms with your shy and timid nature.

- he finds it cute if we're being honest here, it just goes to show how well your characters go together.

‐ Shaxx is loud and not at all embarrassed by his words while you're a little off to the side and rather not interact with many people you don't know that well.

- So to see you in the Arena, feeling a little off with that tinge of tiredness, not wanting to actually do much except get the match over with, worried him a little.

- Well, that was until you got angry at some hunter taunting you across the map. He's been an irritating thorn in your side this whole time with his arrogant cockiness and that stupid shit eating grin you swore you saw through his helmet.

- Now, Shaxx being the man he is and encouraging your might in his matches, practically thrives off your newfound determination to bring the enemy team down.

‐ He gushes about it aswell, flexing that his S/O was crushing the enemy team and brought the win for their own.

- but he comforts you afterwards, truly. He'll be all over you with affection that same night and tell you how well you did and coo in your ear about your achievements and your victory over that damn hunter.

Cayde-6

- oh jeez...well, okay, Cayde isn't that bad but he'd also be a big encourager on his part.

- he loves the fact he can coddle you and tease you for your shyness and timid nature, finding it incredibly endearing when you blush and try to hide from him.

- he's your voice in moments it really counts in, speaking for you when something bothers you or whatnot.

- but when he (surprisingly enough) managed to get out of the tower and "aid" you on patrol on Mars, he really didn't expect you to start popping Cabal heads with little to no care!

- all because they scratched your armour too! You've been feeling tired already, not wanting to go on patrol in the first place but being tasked by Commander Zavala himself to simply take a look around the perimeter.

- now your new armour has been scratched, you were already tired and these Cabal weren't letting up either!

- Cayde just simply stood off to the side and gawked at you like you were a completely different person!

- his sweet and cute S/O, as shy and timid as they are most of the time, is casually killing Cabal with headshots left and right like they were nothing!

- (he was a little turned on, let's be fair)

- to say everybody in the Tower knew of your little outburst would be an understatement, that loveable Exo of yours could not keep his damn mouth shut.

Drifter

- he might be the damn reason you're so nagged in the first place, honestly.

- so we all know Drifter and how he is, always that bravado he puts on for a rogue lightbearer. He's got an image to uphold.

- so this man would also be an absolute tease, cracking jokes and cooing right in your ear on a private comms channel just to see you get flustered and all.

- but he knows when to stop aswell, don't get me wrong.

- that instance would be when you both were on a mission on Europa. He had perched himself onto a vantage point where he could observe and cover your back if needed.

- you two were just casually chatting around, talking about the most mundane things while you were walking the perimeter.

‐ until...you suddenly got ambushed. You were already tired and these Fallen constantly crawling out of their hiding spots and caves and whatnot just irritated you further. It was supposed to be a simple Intel mission.

- so Drifter, being the good boyfriend he is, covered your back and shot Eliksni after Eliksni while making sure you weren't too overwhelmed.

- yet he did feel baffled when you just popped their head like nothing, like they were flies.

- for him it felt like you and that person sporting your armour were two different people.

- don't get him wrong, he liked you this way. Unbothered and uncaring but it was a stark contrast to your usually sweet personality.

- he did tease you after everything had calmed down and you two managed to meet up but he did make sure to at least try and get you to calm down.

Crow

- oh my god– are you trying to give this man a heart attack?

- not only was he worried because you were already feeling tired, which made you so easily agitated, but you also had to go on a patrol WITHOUT him nearby.

- he knows of your act of....not being bothered with anything at all but he was still worried, he knows you can take care of yourself

- Crow loves your shy behaviour, it complimented his own well. Your timidness making his heart soften.

- he was...shocked? To say the least the first time he caught you in that state of "You breathe at all? Bullet to the head." and it did worry him a little.

- (even a little turned on, dare I say? He's a sucker okay for badass partners imo)

- he tries his best to calm you down if you reach that state of anger or try and convince Zavala to send someone else when you're feeling tired but got handed another mission.

- Crow just wants to care for you</3

(Hope you enjoyed reading it and send in requests if you want something specific! Have a great day/night!)

(Love, creator hihi)

[a-driftamongopenstars]

pettiness is a dish always best served hot; guardian x crow and cayde :)

after getting that ask about Cayde being a third-wheel in this situation, I just had to write something for the Wild Card mission :) I hope this is as funny as it is in my mind :D also on ao3

Cayde hates stake outs. 

Getting into the fray, guns blazing, is where his true approach lies. A knife here, a bullet there, everyone who should be dead is dead, and he gets to eat ramen right on the dinner clock. 

Yet here they are, former Hunter Vanguard, his little Guardian protege and their formerly of the Awoken royalty boyfriend. Slash killer. Slash no, not anymore. Slash, unsure. What a crew!

“Cayde, stop moving!” Crow chastises him, kicking him lightly in the shin. 

Cayde narrows his eyes but obliges by sitting down on the ground, watching Crow. Now that one was made for scouting. Patient to a Hunter appropriate degree, wicked with a sniper, if Cayde were to judge. Knows his stuff. And according to the few conversations they shared, not even mildly scared by bureaucracy. Good, Cayde thinks.

A multitude of feelings swarm inside him. Curiosity, jealousy, a little bit of anger for the spice. Resentment, pride, appreciation.

But above all those warm and fuzzy feelings, there is one more. One that Cayde has made sure to nurture over his long long life. One that feeds into his very psyche.

“Guardian?” Crow calls on the comms. “I have you in my sights. There is a swarm of Scorn approaching your location. Wait, what? Uh…”

Whatever the reply is, Cayde doesn’t get to hear as the channel switches to private but for a second. And so he gives in to that feeling instead.

A wave of playful and unyielding pettiness.

And so Cayde-6 forms a plan. 

***

They sit around a small fire, celebrating one of the many latest victories of their hunt. Crow reenacts a shoot-out with a horde of war beasts, accidentally sending one of the bottles flying at the wall, covering the rock side with rich red. The Guardian is laughing, while the two Ghosts watch with a mixture of disapproval and parental condescension. 

Crow thoughtfully rubs his nape and reaches for another wine bottle, offering it to the Guardian. But before the bottle can make contact, Cayde smiles and swipes it from Crow's hand. 

“Oh, that's my favourite!” he exclaims. “Not vintage enough, but that will do.”

He lets the cool liquid pour down his mechanical throat, watching from the corner of the eye as Crow can't find any more wine in their supplies. The Guardian is smiling at Crow's quiet frustration and reassures him that it's fine and they can transmat in some more if need be. Their hands brush against each other as Crow sits next to the Guardian, and Cayde wonders if they don’t see him notice.

“Good wine?” Crow asks with a mocking tone, to which Cayde wipes his mouth and sighs with great content.

“Good enough, kid.”

Crow huffs and turns his attention to stoking the fire.

A warm feeling spreads in Cayde's chest. He oh so loves being up to no good. 

***

In-between the many battles within the Pale Heart, they take a moment of respite to take care of their weapons and ammunition. The Guardian is trying to get screeb stuff out of their armour to no avail. Rookie mistake to run straight into the thick of the horde and serves them right.

Crow polishes the feather-etched barrel of his gun. Cayde watches, proud that the kid has already figured out the important business of having a signature gun. Cayde tucks away a thought about a signature cloak, one step a time, but that's a done deal. He's decided, it’s just that no one else needs to know for now. 

Cayde looks at his own weapon, the Ace of Spades glowing with Light through cracks. Shabby, but trusty. His thumb runs over the white spade. Even here in this strange version of the afterlife, a memory of something distant and unattainable is haunting him.

When he raises his eyes, he finds that Crow has joined the Guardian in a fruitless attempt to wipe off the Scorn ether, yet the more they both try, the more the stain seems to eat into the armour.

Lovebirds, Cayde thinks. Oh how the tables have turned.

***

The hunt for the ether-thieves goes on for a few more days. In that time Cayde thinks he and Crow have discussed every possible facet of things he would rather never talk about again. Good thing the kid is easily distracted with a healthy bit of competition, which they indulge in by shooting distant targets while the Guardian spots them both. 

At night they take turns to meditate and rest, another taking watch.

On one of the nights, Cayde wanders off from the camp. An excuse is easy, a strange noise nearby he wants to investigate, as if there isn't something strange happening every minute anyway. They are inside the Traveler, after all.

Cayde walks down a narrow trodden path and contemplates the ridiculous lip locking happening right around the corner. It doesn’t particularly bother him, but oh, amuse him it does. His favourite Guardian, all tangled up with this Crow. He wonders how it happened. Actually, he doesn’t, the more he thinks about it, the stranger it seems.

When Cayde makes it back to the camp, the kiss is still ongoing, with the two lovebirds none the wiser to his presence. Dangerous, could get shot like this, so they should be happy it’s just him.

Cayde pushes between the Guardian and Crow, plopping himself down on the ground. The Guardian is looking away flushed, while Crow crosses his arms.

“Found anything suspicious?” he asks, moving to make space.

“Nah, false alarm. There was this pair of love birds though…”

The Guardian chokes on a small hidden laugh.

***

“...that’s when Zavala punched him right. In. The. Face!”

As the Guardian laughs, Crow rubs his forehead with tired fingers. Cayde rummages through his memories to grapple onto a new story - and good thing that not all of them have to be true - when the Guardian stretches their arms. After a few pops, a glance at Crow and a ridiculously tired yawn, they begin to rise from the chair.

“Hold on, I’ve got one more!” Cayde exclaims. “Just one more, and off you go to see your sweet dreams. Promise!”

The Guardian sits right back, and Crow watches Cayde with eyes narrowed, only two brightly coloured irises glowing in the dark. He means to say something, and Cayde eggs him on with a prolonged pause, just to talk as Crow’s mouth opens.

“A-”

“Okay, there was this one time I sat in a bar, and in came a titan, a hunter and a warlock…”

One story turns into a couple more. A wine bottle is fished from the supplies, and the Guardian is doing all in their power to not let their eyes closed, when Cayde puts a final flourish on the story.

“And that’s why you don’t play cards with Ikora.”

“Good to know,” Crow says with an amused grin. “I think I’m going to catch some sleep. How… about you, Guardian?”

They rise from the chair and dust off their armour, even though it has now been made pristine.

As the Guardian heads to the tent, Crow turns to Cayde. Their eyes meet, some kind of momentary agreement or understanding. He doesn’t want to talk about it now, but he has learnt the importance of well-timed words. It may always be that you would not get a chance to say them.

“Come on,” Cayde ushers Crow with a flick of his hand. “Go get that sleep.”

Crow crosses his arms and arches his eyebrow.

“What, not another story? Or sleeping right in the middle of the tent like the last time?”

“Nope,” Cayde responds. “Let’s just say, I got my retaliation. Now go, shoo. The Guardian is going to fall asleep if you don’t get all cuddly and snuggly.”

Crow’s lips stretch into a wild grind.

“What in the Light’s name are those words?”

“No idea, hope I don’t get to repeat them ever again. Now go, kid. And… look after them, yeah? They are my favourite.”

Crow looks at the tent where the Guardian is fumbling with a light blanket.

“I will. They are my favourite, too.”

[tauruscookie]

I’d be lying if I said losing you was something I could handle

[blue-is-grey]

Made a render for the lovely @beyond-the-light of their Guardian and Cayde! Had it sitting at a standstill for a bit but have been going back to projects and having a lot of fun with them! (Dani thank you so much for helping me realize my horrible Blender settings, one day I'll learn how to use a computer <3)

[pyrettawychwiggin]

Come With Me (Oneshot) - Crow x Guardian (Destiny 2)

The following oneshot contains spoilers for The Final Shape beneath the cut. Tread carefully, Guardian.

What to Expect: SFW, fluff, cute

I put this together shortly after Ch'ak and I completed The Final Shape campaign. I've been a bit of Crow stan ever since I first started playing, so naturally, I ship my own hunter with him pretty hard-core.

That being said, seeing as how my Guardian, Vera, respected and got along well with Amanda, she rooted for her and Crow despite her feelings, honestly feeling that she would be good for him (until they hit their rocky patch). If anything were to happen between she and Crow now, I feel like it would be a bit of a slow burn, so maybe eventually I'll write more about them.

Anywho, enjoy!

♡

♡

♡

Vera sat atop the overlook high above the Dreaming City, one leg tucked into her chest, the other dangling over the ledge. She gazed out to the skies shimmering in hues of ammolite, a stark contrast to the pearlescent white structures towering over the misty green landscape.

The words kept echoing in her head.

Now, you tell the others that this was my choice.

She removed her helmet and set it aside with a huff, feeling more and more constricted by her grief.

My Light.

She felt her chest grow tight, and the familiar sting of tears threatening to fall.

Nobody makes my fate but me.

Her hands burned with the phantom sensation of Cayde's over hers.

You're my favourite. Don't ever forget that.

Her mind returning to the moment Cayde's Light - that bittersweet cataclysm - crashed through her consciousness and brought Doppler back to her - but at a cost she wished he hadn't needed to pay.

"Vera?" Doppler hovered just a few feet away at her side. "Maybe we should get back."

"Sorry, Dopps - just..." Vera shook her head and sniffled, using the palm of her hand to dry her waterline. "Just a little bit longer."

"Well, alright..."

Dopps' robotic tone was still full of concern. Usually his guardian was far more forthcoming with her feelings; she notoriously wore her heart on her sleeve, but ever since they'd returned from the Pale Heart for the final time since the Witness' unmaking, it felt as if her heart had been sealed off in a steel vault. On occasion, he'd see her eyes brimming with the shine of tears, but she wasn't allowing herself to fully break down like he knew she needed to; the next moment, her expression would harden again; as if she were actively reigning herself in - blocking off her feelings, which most certainly was not like her.

"I'm here," he said softly, almost as if he was afraid that breaking the silence would shatter her into dust. "If you need to talk."

Vera nodded before Dopps disappeared to give her a moment of privacy. Perhaps if she wouldn't allow herself to cry in front of him, she'd be more comfortable if there was no one else around.

The area was silent and still once more, but Vera's expression remained blank. She had no idea how long she'd been there, or how long she planned on staying, but she knew if she really wanted, she had all the time in the world; which perhaps made the whole concept all the more maddening.

"Guardian," a familiar voice broke the silence once more, making her jolt a little. "I thought I'd find you here."

Crow carefully approached her, stopping about a meter away to wait for her to respond.

"Crow." Vera rasped, keeping her back turned to him, silently hoping he'd keep this encounter brief. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, for one, you could talk to me." To her dismay, Crow sighed and took a seat on the ledge beside her, giving her a sidelong glance. "You haven't been yourself since we got back. We're all getting a little worried."

"I don't know how to talk about it. This all still doesn't quite feel real, yet."

"Mm." Crow nodded and took a heavy breath, turning his gaze beyond the horizon. "Maybe start with telling me... how are you feeling right now?"

"It changes with each passing thought." Vera frowned and shook her head, furrowing her brow as she attempted to find the words to describe what was in her heart. "I'm furious, I'm heartbroken, I'm confused, but most of all, I feel.... guilty."

"Guilty?" Crow turned his head to look at her again, eyebrows raised in surprise at her choice of words. "Don't tell me you blame yourself for Cayde?"

"No, I... I feel guilty for feeling the way that I do."

"What do you mean?"

"I just can't help but think about the lightless folk. People die around them all the time - and for good - no Ghost to resurrect them from a bullet to the heart or a knife to the throat." Vera hugged her knee closer to her chest. "How many of them have lost people they'd loved and wished more than anything to get to see them one more time; to have one more conversation with them to find that closure they never got to have beforehand?"

Crow frowned and nodded slowly, allowing her to continue her thought.

"We did. We were so lucky to have gotten to hear his smart-ass voice again, and yet I can't help but feel that it just..." Vera's shoulders started to quiver as she felt herself beginning to break. "Wasn't enough."

Crow shuffled closer to the Awoken hunter and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, gently resting his cheek on the top of her head while tears finally started to trickle down her face. She leaned back against him, despite the tingling of her skin that begged her to push him away.

"No amount of time is enough when it comes to someone you love," Crow sighed, feeling his own heart ache for his own losses as well as Vera's. "Were you two really that close?"

"When I first arrived - after Dopps woke me up - I was all over the place." Vera sniffled. "Cayde was also... well, all over the place, but I think that's why I could relate to him. His chaos was like a mirrored version of my own, just so, so much brighter. He was one of my first friends."

"Just friends?" Crow chuckled, giving her arm a playful shake. "I always assumed there was more to it than that."

"No, never." Vera shrugged. She cast her eyes out across the vast landscape and smiled numbly. "He was more like a big brother in my eyes. Or, maybe a mentor - of some sort? I don't know. I loved him with all my heart - but not... like that."

The two Hunters sat in silence for a while before Crow cleared his throat.

"There's a private vigil for Cayde back at the Tower tonight; there won't be many people there, it's really just Cayde's closest friends." He dropped his arm and rose to his feet, dusting himself off and offering a hand to her. "Come with me?"

Vera gulped, staring at his open palm with hesitance. "I don't know if I'll be able to keep it together long enough to be social..."

"You don't have to be social if you don't want to," Crow replied with a sympathetic half-smile and a slight tilt of his head. "Just stick with me; I can do the brunt of the talking today if that's what you need."

Crow... Vera nearly felt as though she'd crumble. He's dealing with his own pain and grief, but he's still looking out for me...

"Okay." Vera wiped her tears off on her sleeve and took his hand, letting him gently hoist her up to her feet, his grip lingering for just a few seconds longer than necessary. "Thank you, Crow. And by the way..."

"Hm?" Crow waited for her to continue.

"I, uh... I like the hair." Vera gave Crow the first genuine smile she'd had for quite some time. "It's nice being able to see the rest of your face."

"O-oh." Crow averted his eyes, his ears darkening slightly in a soft blush. He scratched the bridge of his nose with a bashful chuckle under his breath before silently working up a small ounce of courage, reaching out to softly drift his fingers over her jawline. "Thank you, Vera."

"See?" Glint excitedly popped out from behind Crow's shoulder. "I told you she'd like it."

Crow's shoulders jumped with surprise before he turned and frantically shushed his ghost, making Vera laugh for the first time in weeks.

"I haven't seen you laugh for weeks!" Dopps returned, hovering around Vera almost as if he were dancing with glee, turning to Crow and stating, "you really do bring out the best in her."

"Dopps! Seriously?" Vera hissed, face warm and flushed at the ghost's lack of tact.

Laughing and arm-in-arm, the two hunters transmatted back to the Tower for one last celebration of their fallen hero.

[takendruid]

Thought Tumblr might appreciate this one.

[1136531]

케이드가 보고 싶다...

[little-honeypie]

I need ex lovers fem guardian X Cayde reunited plEASE. I'm currently burnt out writing wise pLEASE I NEED IT CLINICALLY

[lordshaxxhandler]

Hi, I decided to make a separate series of Lore tabs for my characters and more from my story The Burden of the Light.

Just a little something I can work on between chapters✨

[echosong971]

(wip) i've missed drawing these two...

[theavocadojam]

Hey Cayde ♠️

[maccreadysbaby]

OH EM GEE YOUR CROW CONTENTTTT

can you do one that’s, like, the anniversary of Cayde’s death and Crow is getting absolutely hated by everyone at the tower except for our guardian? And like, the superiors, of course.

oooffff course! I really miss Cayde🫡

hyper-focused on crow, guardian is there at the end being supportive (because who doesn’t support him honestly)

added extra levels of angst because it’s my birthday and I love that crap

Also this can be interpreted as platonic or romantic

Memories™︎

It was no secret Crow got… unwanted attention simply for the face he dawned. That was why he spent most of his free time in the H.E.L.M. Walking around the Tower had always been a hassle without a mask; he could hardly take a step without getting a pointed glare or rude remark spat at him. Especially when it came to Hunters. They were furious about Cayde, and even though the Vanguard’s blood wasn’t technically on Crow’s hands, no one else seemed to understand that. No one but the Guardian. His Guardian.

He couldn’t exactly stay out of the Tower forever, though, and he did want to offer his support to the other Vanguards and Guardians on the anniversary. Give them a chance to take the day lightly. He couldn’t deny that the guilt from Cayde’s murder — a murder he didn’t even commit — weighed on him way heavier than he wanted to admit. He knew he didn’t do it, but… at the same time… by extension, he kind of did. Nevertheless, supporting his superiors and doing anything they needed mattered more than whatever was eating at him from the inside. It had to. He couldn’t undo what happened to Cayde, but he could do everything to make up for it.

The sun had already set by the time he and Glint transmatted into the Tower. Crow had taken on almost every single bounty and mission he could weasel out of Zavala, Ikora, and Banshee, even taking a handsome number of quests and bounties from Guardians that were having a rough day with Cayde’s memory. To say he was exhausted would be an understatement. He felt like crap, having been resurrected nearly a dozen, maybe two dozen times. He’d heard the Guardians talk about what they called the “Res Flu”, a kind of sickness that came upon Guardians when their body stopped and got restarted again too many times in a day. He didn’t really get it at the time, because, could Guardians even get sick?

He knew now, though, that they weren’t kidding. He felt like crap. Like he could sleep for four years straight and still be tired when he woke up. His entire body seemed to be aching from being put together again and again, reworked over and over. Between him overworking himself, Uldren’s memories of Cayde floating around in the back of his mind, and the constant windows reboot of getting resurrected again and again, his mind was nothing more than a blurry haze. He just wanted to go to bed, and that want grew exponentially as he walked slowly across the courtyard of the Tower. He was so close to his bed he could almost smell it.

But he needed to check in with Zavala and Ikora first — let them know he’d done what they asked. Unfortunately, between him and the Titan Vanguard were many other Guardians. Crow wouldn’t dare admit that the possibility of their crude words made him a little anxious, but then again, the slight buzz that surfaced in his chest and tiny bit of dread that made its debut in the back of his mind pretty much admitted it for him.

He ducked his head as he walked, tugging at his hood in an attempt to hide his face as he drifted by. The normal buzz of the tower had quieted, both due to the time and the anniversary looming overhead. Crow wished it hadn’t. If the buzz and energy had been normal, it’d be easier for him to remain unseen. He heard Glint humming along behind him, trying to provide little support. It was no secret that Crow got antsy in the Tower.

Fortunately for both his will to live and the countdown until he fell asleep standing up, no one payed him much mind as he made his way to Zavala. The Titan was leaning on the railing, per usual, gazing out at the Last City beyond. Crow drifted quietly up to his side, refraining from leaning on the railing in fear he might not be able to will himself back up.

“I finished the missions and bounties you gave me,” He muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. He was cold. Was it cold outside?

He saw Zavala shift in the corner of his eye, turning to look at him. “You finished them all? That was nearly four days work.”

“Mhm,” The Hunter replied. He didn’t dare glance over at him — mostly of the silent fear he’d be glowering at him like everyone else did. That and the fact he knew he looked like he hadn’t slept in a month.

Crow flinched when the Titan’s hand landed on his shoulder. “Good work, Crow. Go get some rest. You look drained.”

He felt drained. More than drained. Like he needed to get to his room soon or he might fall out in the middle of the Tower. Guardians were supposed to be immortal — you know, not sick. No one told him being a Guardian came with feeling like you’d been hit by a semi-truck after exercising your immortality one too many times.

He supposed there had to be a pitfall, though. There always was. If there wasn’t a pitfall, what would they appreciate? You can’t have good days without bad ones to measure them beside.

He pushed himself away from the balcony, floating mindlessly through the Tower, toward Ikora. His body was absolutely screaming with every step he took. So much so that he had to take a moment to regroup in the tunnels, pretending to fiddle with his gun or something so passersby didn’t realize how faint he looked. He only remembered Uldren getting sick few times, but it never felt like this. It was like, well, the flu — everything hurt, his brain was hazy, and he needed to sleep. He didn’t really mind absence of the other symptoms, though. He wasn’t a fan of nausea and all that.

After only hearing about a third of his own conversation with Ikora, and dropping by to tell Banshee he did what he’d asked, he made a bee-line towards the elevator. Getting down to his room on the residential floor was becoming more of a need than a want at this point. Because, all joking aside, it was starting to get hard to keep moving.

He was making alright progress… until he got to the elevator. There was a trio of Hunters standing in front of it and, if he didn’t collapse on the spot, they’d probably bully him until he did. His hood could only hide so much of his face, but at this point, taking the stairs seemed more risky than it should’ve.

He turned in a sudden, desperate attempt to get out of their line of sight, at least for a moment, but it was too late. A hand latched onto his shoulder and whirled him around. It was too easy for them to move him — he was weak.

“I don’t think you’d want to speak about what happened a year ago today, would you, Uldren Sov?”

Crow jerked his shoulder out of the Hunter’s grip, nearly wincing at the exertion the simple movement took. “That’s not my name,” He murmured flatly.

The Hunter snorted, backing up to be in line with his buddies. Three of them, all humans, all cocky-as-ever and ready to dispatch a kill-shot through Crow’s brain at any given moment.

“My apologies. I meant Little Bird,”

Crow couldn’t work up a proper response, so instead, he just walked toward the elevator. The Hunter sidestepped right into his path. He expected no less.

Crow didn’t have the time nor the energy for this.

“Get out of the way,” He ordered. The Hunter snorted again.

“No, I don’t think I will. After all, you have a murder to answer for. And everyone else here is too brainwashed by second chances to make you,” The Hunter spat, pain haphazardly hidden by venom in his tone. Crow tried to ignore the twisting in his gut that only started when he listened to the Hunter’s words. You’re the reason he’s hurting.

Crow tried to brush the thought off, attempting to blink away the vertigo that was trying to take hold of him. “I… I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry about Cayde. Now, please, get out of my way.”

Apologizing and saying please wasn’t exactly a power move, but he was practically running on empty as it was.

“Got somewhere to be, Little Bird?”

Crow closed his eyes momentarily, wrapping his arms around his middle to provide himself at least a little comfort. He looked absolutely pathetic in the face of these Hunters and he knew it. Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to care. Maybe he felt too bad to care.

“Please get out of my way,” He repeated.

“Dude, he isn’t looking so hot. Maybe you should just let him go,” One of the other Hunters piped up. The main one, a dude with blond hair, glared back at him.

“Yeah, well, Cayde isn’t looking too hot right now either, is he?”

The guilt rose back up inside of him like bile, and Crow looked away. He remembered pulling the trigger. He remembered killing Cayde. The back of his eyes began to burn and as much as he wanted to stop it, he couldn’t. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s gonna take more than a few empty words to make up for the hole you left in the Vanguard. In us,”

“I’m sorry,” Crow half-whimpered, still not opening his eyes. He could nearly feel his body getting weaker by the second. And it didn’t feel good.

He really was sorry — he really, really, really was. No one ever stopped for a second to consider that the anniversary hurt him, too. In fact, it didn’t just hurt on the anniversary. It hurt every day, living with the memories of murdering a man that would’ve been his leader. That would’ve supported him, been his friend. It hurt.

His Guardian would understand.

His eyes shot open a moment later, when the Hunter latched onto his cloak and jerked him forward. “You don’t get to be all emotional today, Sov, you did this.”

“Let him go!” Crow heard Glint’s panicked voice from behind, and he floated up to his Guardian’s side to try and offer support. There’s only so much a tiny floating robot can do, though. Crow reached up, grabbing the Hunter’s wrists where they sat close to his neck.

“Let go of me,”

“Do you understand the amount of pain and hurt you caused? In the Vanguard, in us, in everyone. There are people that have barely been able to get out of bed today because of you. People that spent weeks crying themselves to sleep because of you. People that still can’t look at Exos because of you!” The Hunter shoved Crow backwards, but it didn’t take very much force to make him hit the floor.

“Come on, dude. Leave him alone. You said what you needed to say,” One of the other Hunters stated from above where Crow was. He pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, coughing shakily. He suddenly felt a lot worse than he had. If that was even possible.

He was jerked off of the floor again and this time, shoved against the wall behind him. The blond Hunter was right in his face.

“Watch your back, Sov. There are more than a few of us willing to put a knife in it the first chance we get,”

Crow didn’t respond, only stayed eerily still as he and the Hunter stared at one another. He was released after a few dreaded moments of silence.

The Hunters all glared at him as they left, muttering amongst themselves.

Crow reached up to his cloak, grabbing where the other Hunter just had. He could sense the underlying pain in that guy’s voice. That Hunter wasn’t just talking about other people barely able to get out of bed, crying themselves to sleep, unable to look at Exos. He was talking about himself. And Crow — er, Uldren — had done that to him.

“Crow?” Glint floated up in front of his face, momentarily breaking his Guardian out of the trance. “We should go now.”

Crow nodded, heading into the elevator with Glint as a watchful eye. He could hardly focus on anything on the way to his room. Not the elevator, not the passersby, not Glint. All he could think about was how terrible he felt. Physically, yes, but mostly about Cayde.

How far was he from Uldren, anyway? Close enough for everyone to blame him for Cayde’s death. Maybe they weren’t as different as he pretended they were. Maybe he and Uldren were one and the same.

The gunshot that rang out from Cayde’s gun that night played in his mind on repeat, and he didn’t mind to let his eyes sting as he made his way further down the residential halls. Less likely someone would see him, anyway. With his arms still wrapped around his own torso, both to try and comfort himself and stop him from having some fever-induced breakdown, he walked into his room and shut the door with his foot. He leaned against the cool material with a deep sigh. Finally, he was alone.

Glint clicked robotically. “Uhm… Crow?”

Before he could reply, another voice came: “Oh my God, Crow! You look terrible.”

He whirled around at the voice, nearly yelling out from surprise. He blinked, and it took him a second to realize the studio apartment he was standing in… it wasn’t his. It was the Guardian’s. His Guardian’s.

He’d autopiloted his way into the wrong apartment. Same door, one floor too high.

The Guardian was staring at him with a mixture of pity and compassion, already making their way to him from across the room. Their Ghost was bobbing worriedly next to them. Crow averted his gaze. He didn’t want to have a conversation with them, he didn’t want to explain. All he felt like doing at the moment was curling in on himself and crying until the anniversary was over — for Cayde. For the man he murdered.

“How many times did you res today?” They asked, grimacing slightly as they got close enough to see how bad he looked.

“I don’t know,” He muttered. He wanted to shrink, to disappear. The closest he could get was recoiling slightly when they got close. “Ten. Twenty. Thirty. I don’t know.”

“Crow,” They weren’t scolding him, their voice didn’t contain even a hint of annoyance. They just… felt bad for him. “Didn’t I tell you about the res flu, or was that a dream?”

“No, you told me,” He replied blankly, staring at the floor under his feet. The Guardian stepped forward and watched to see if he’d recoil again. He didn’t this time, but he did turn away from their gaze.

“What kind of mission did they put you on where you had to res that many times?”

He shrugged, suddenly becoming very aware of the pounding at the back of his head. When had that started? “All of them,” He deadpanned.

The Guardian blinked. “What do you mean?”

“I took all of them. From everyone. Bounties, too. I… didn’t want them to… to do the work today,” He muttered, not sounding convincing even to himself despite telling the truth.

The Guardian’s wheels turned for a moment, before it clicked. “You’re trying to make up for Cayde?”

Crow looked away, wrapping his arms around his middle again like some sort of defense mechanism. “I remember… shooting him. I remember talking to him. I remember pulling the trigger, I… this was all my fault. I need to make up for it. I need to… answer for it. I need to be… to be…”

“Punished?” They whispered, more of a statement than an actual question. Crow couldn’t do much more than nod.

“I hurt so many people…” He hardly noticed he was swaying on his feet until the Guardian appeared right in front of him, steadying him by placing their hands on his shoulders.

“You didn’t, Uldren did. You don’t have anything to answer for,” They stated, eyes flicking across his face with worry. “Come sit down, you look like you’re about to keel over.”

“No, I… I’m gonna go to my room. I didn’t even mean to walk in here, I…” His sentence trailed off as his head throbbed so hard it made his eyeballs hurt. Screw this stupid res flu.

“If you think I’m gonna let you walk anywhere like this, you are sorely mistaken,” They stated. Instead of making him sit down, though, they decided to pull him into them.

He hated when they did that. It made him feel like a child.

He hated when they did that because it felt so… good. He didn’t deserve to feel good. Not today.

But he couldn’t force himself to wriggle out of their grip. Instead, as much as he hated himself for it, he sank into them, not moving his arms but supplying his horribly angry body with much more comfort than he’d had all day. They were warm, and comfortable, and… everything he didn’t deserve. Still, his head dropped down onto their shoulder. He let out a sigh of relief, a sigh he thought he didn’t… no, knew he didn’t deserve. Relief he didn’t deserve.

“You don’t need to be punished for something you didn’t do. You’re not Uldren,” They stated quietly, one of their hands trailing up and down his back as the other rested on his head. It felt so good and he hated it.

“I…” He sucked in a breath as the back of his eyes started to sting again. “I’m sorry about Cayde. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

“Crow…”

“I’m so, so sorry,” He bit back the sob that threatened to force its way up his throat. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,”

“I’m sorry,”

“Crow!”

As much as he despised himself for it, the stupid sob he’d been trying to keep inside shoved its way out of him. A quiet, broken sound he didn’t mean for anybody but Glint and his pillow to hear.

You don’t get to be all emotional today, Sov, you did this.

“I’m so sorry,” He whispered, more into their shoulder than actually to them. He felt their arms shift around him.

“Stop saying sorry, Crow. None of this is your fault,” They murmured. He stirred, the guilt inside of him boiling up like a raging fire to devour every hint of comfort he received.

“It’s all my fault!” He spat, but his words held no actual venom. If they did, it was all toward himself.

“No it’s not. None of this is your fault. I know for a fact that if it really was you behind the trigger, you wouldn’t have aimed it at him in the first place,” The Guardian spoke quietly, one of their hands moving through his hair. “It isn’t fair that you have to bear his burdens. Hurt for what he did. The way these other Guardians treat you… none of it is fair. But… all I can do about it now is be here for you.”

He merely grunted in response, the momentary crying making his head hurt ten times worse. Right now, he just wanted to go to bed.

“You still with me, Crow?”

“Mhm,”

He heard them snicker lightly. “The first res flu is always the worst. It’ll pass soon enough.”

He was too tired and too comfortable to respond. So comfortable he was in jeopardy of falling asleep right there.

“You’re not Uldren. You didn’t kill Cayde. Do you understand that?”

He opened his mouth to no avail.

“Crow?”

“I… understand,” He whispered, adjusting his head slightly on their shoulder. He felt them move their arms.

They snickered lightly. “You gonna go to bed right there?”

It took him a moment to process their words, but he finally worked up a quiet: “Maybe.”

He was hardly conscious when he heard them snicker again. “Then let’s get you on the couch, yeah?”

[aceofcaydes01]

I started this all the way back at the end of Season of the Lost and just now finished it.

Inspired by @a-driftamongopenstars' Old Light, New Light series.

“Are you sure?” Ace asked, looking to where her right hand was extended and her Ghost floated in her palm. He vibrated gently in a reassuring manner. “I’ve spoken with Glint, he needs you right now.” Ghost says to you through your telepathic connection. You nodded and you were instantly transmatted to the loading bay of the Radiant Accipiter.

“Crow?” You ask softly as you approach, both he and Glint looked up at the sound of your voice. You stood there for a second, trying to assess whether or not he wanted your company, only moving when you felt the gentle prod of Glint between your shoulders, urging you forward. Your armor and weapons disappeared as you stepped forward, and out of the corner of your eye you saw Ghost vanish with Glint.

“Are these eyes the ones that haunt you at night?” Crow asks, leveling you with his gaze as you approach him fully.

For years whenever you tried to sleep, all you could see in your dreams was Uldren’s glowing glare as he pulled Ace of Spades’ trigger and shattered your life.

As weird as it was, you’d found comfort in Crow. Your anger at seeing him risen as a Guardian slowly faded as you’d seen first hand how earnest he was, how innocent. He was the opposite of Uldren, the fact that he was a fellow Hunter was just cruel irony. A tentative friendship had developed after you’d saved him and Glint from Spider’s employ. Ghost urged you to tell Crow in the early stages of your friendship, you hadn’t, and were now regretting not taking his counsel.

You gaze into the warm glow of his amber eyes, and to his surprise, you smile. “No. I don’t see any trace of Uldren in your eyes, Crow.��� You say, holding his gaze, and you feel his body relax slightly next to yours.

“Now I know why you always looked at me that way.” He says softly as he looks down to the knife in his hand, the one you’d given him last Dawning. He looks back up into your eyes as you speak.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t know how.” You say quietly, knowing his mind must be reeling from whatever Savathûn said or showed him of his past life.

You put on a brave face, but you still carried the weight of Cayde’s death. The fact that you had feelings for who was once his killer wasn’t helping your guilt any. You knew that Cayde would want you to be happy, and Crow made you so so happy.

“If it were me, I wouldn’t have known what to say either, Guardian.” Crow replies, reaching out for your hand, your fingers entwine and you stand there looking out at the Dreaming City. Crow had already been in orbit there when you joined him.

“Were you going to go down there and see your sister?” You ask after a comfortable silence, hoping it isn’t a sensitive topic.

“No. I returned here to see if I would feel anything. I don’t, and it seems strange that I was on the Tangled Shore for so long and I had no idea that my former home was right there all along.” Crow replies with a shrug, turning away from the window and going to an overhead compartment, pulling you with him by your entwined fingers. “This is for you.” Crow says, holding out a blue box with white and gold stars on it and a gold ribbon.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” You reply as you accept it, feeling a blush start to color your cheeks.

“I know. I wanted to.” Crow replies, and you share a smile before you ease off the top and push away the tissue paper. Inside is a black knife with a white spade on the blade and the wings of a crow on the handle. It was an obviously expensive Eververse commission and you were speechless.

“Crow- Thank you, it’s beautiful.” You manage, turning to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a hug.

“You’re welcome. Now you can take us both with you, always.” Crow replies, squeezing you gently as his arms wrap around you.

[tauruscookie]

I finally had time to draw them, I’ll finish it but here’s the sketch, they are Bluetooth shading music while resting. Fajita is trying to rizz up Sundance 😊